#I swear to lucifer if I get any more “well um that's not how I hate him so why are you complaining”

[angelshizuka]

Me when I read the "arguments" Stolas haters make.

[lxkeee]

TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN

-PART SEVEN

Pairing: Lucifer Morningstar x Seraphim Angel! Fem! Reader

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Genre: Angst (for now)

Warnings: Swearing and Adam.

Notes: shit is about to go down.

PART ONE | PART SIX | PART EIGHT | NAVIGATION

“Because if you don't, I will personally kill you myself.” [Y/n] added, her eyes glaring down on Adam, her power and strength can be felt through the air and they can tell that she is absolutely furious.

“Oh shit.” Adam muttered underneath his breath. His boss' boss is here.

Adam nervously chuckled, scratching the back of his neck, “Heyyy there [Y/n]... I didn't expect you to be hereee or rather, I didn't expect to see you today... Don't you have work...?” he says nervously, clearly not expecting the news would reach the Seven Heavenly Virtues this soon and [Y/n]'s eyes narrowed even more at him, her wings fluttering behind her back—puffed up and angry.

“Enough Adam, you've done enough pain and destruction here. Take the exorcists and your ass back hOME!” She sneered, her eyes looking at Adam with annoyance, “You and Sera will be held accountable for your actions and for your disobedience and if you don't want a severe punishment then I suggest you go home quietly and quickly. Do you understand?” she snapped, her voice filled with anger and authority. Reminding them who they're dealing with.

Adam avoided her gaze and eventually nodded, ���I understood...” he muttered, opening a portal back to heaven with a snap of his fingers, “Exorcists! Fall back and return.” Adam ordered and flew past [Y/n], the exorcists following behind him.

The sinners just looked at the scene in awe, an angel ordering Adam to stop whatever the fuck he was doing and the man just complied without questions.

Lucifer's eyes never left her form, he never stopped looking at her in fear that the moment he blinks she will disappear once more. Like a dust in the wind.

[Y/n] sighed, her angelic form calming down once Adam and the exorcists left, the portal closing. She turned back to look down on the sinners. Her heart ached when her eyes finally landed on her husband. Her mind telling her to imagine it was Xavier but how can she? When Lucifer was missing Xavier's [e/c] eyes? That is not her son, that is Lucifer, her husband, ex-husband?? She doesn't know the status of their marriage and she's in too much in pain to care.

She took a deep breath, trying to calm down her fast beating heart, she can feel her body is weakening even more. She barely got any rest, she's also wounded and her healing powers took most of her energy. She just hoped she had enough to last to return back home and back to her son.

She slowly flies down to where the sinners are, to where Lucifer is.

She landed in front of them gracefully, well, a little wobbly.

The sinners and Lucifer looked at her with hesitation, nervous whether she was a new enemy or an ally.

“Greetings, I am Raphael from the Seven Heavenly Virtues.” She greeted, giving them a small bow, “On behalf of heaven and the seven heavenly virtues, we apologized for Sera's, Adam's, and the exorcists' behavior. This cleansing wasn't approved by the others and was done without the other's notice. We will make sure that they will be held accountable for their actions and disobedience. We never intended for sinners to suffer like this.” she says, her voice quivering before kneeling in front of them.

This is so embarrassing. [Y/n] thought to herself.

Their eyes widened in surprise to see an angel, a seraphim angel prostrate herself, her head on the ground as she asked for their forgiveness.

They were also surprised to know that this cleansing wasn't a decision made by the entirety of heaven but just a few people.

Charlie waved her hands, trying to get the woman to stop kneeling, “Um... Please raise your head...” Charlie says nervously.

Lucifer was speechless, how could he not? His first wife that he didn't see for so many millennia is here. His eyes caught sight of a golden wedding ring on her ring finger—the very wedding ring he slipped into her finger when they got married, he could never forget it. She still wore it after all these years, after all the things he has done to her and their family. She waited for him...

[Y/n] raises her head, her eyes tired and... Lucifer doesn't remember her eyes to be this... Sad. His heart broke into pieces. He's done this, he caused her so much pain and it changed her. Those aren't the eyes of the [Y/n] he fell in love with, [Y/n]'s eyes were so bright and hopeful before and now... It doesn't even look like it can see herself living tomorrow. It doesn't even look like she has gotten enough sleep judging by the heavy bags underneath her eyes and the dark circles around her eyes.

[Y/n] avoided Lucifer's gaze, she felt so small and weak underneath his eyes. Even after all these years he still had this much effect on her.

[Y/n] tried to focus on whatever the girl said, her ears were slightly ringing and her eyes were slightly blurring. She wiped her forehead with the back of her hand before slowly standing up, wobbling slightly.

Everyone noticed it, something is definitely wrong with her and it made them worry. They can notice how pale she looked and she seems to wince slightly whenever she moves.

“Are... Are you okay...?” Charlie asked worriedly, helping her up and [Y/n] smiled, though it never reached her eyes. The girl looked just exactly like Lucifer, this must be his daughter then?

“I'm just a little tired, don't worry about me.” She says weakly, patting the girl's head.

“I think I would be leaving now, we'll make sure to punish both Adam and Sera for their actions and we'll try to help hell find a better way to deal with its growing population.” She says, gently parting away from the girl's hold. Her body felt heavy and so incredibly exhausted. This is bad, she needs to get home soon.

She stumbled slightly, Lucifer's eyes widened and his body moved without thinking  and caught her effortlessly, her head pressed against his chest, [Y/n]'s eyes widened, her eyes starting to prick, no don't cry, don't cry... He felt so warm and so soft, she missed this. She weakly tries to push him away. She can still smell his signature perfume of vanilla and roses from his suit. The scent calmed her down slightly.

“Lucifer... Please don't... Please don't hold me like this... Please don't hold me like you still care...” she pleaded weakly, trying to push him away. Her arms on his chest, weakly pushing him away but the man wouldn't budge.

These two have history together... The others thought as they looked at the two angelic beings.

Lucifer's heart aches even more but refusing to let go of her and make her fall into the floor, he can tell she's incredibly exhausted by how much she's no longer trying or having the energy to stand up for herself.

“No [Y/n]... I made that mistake before and I promised not to lose you again...” he says, his voice cracking with emotions, slightly choking on his words. [Y/n]'s eyes widened at his words, her heart aching, hurting, she wants to believe his words, but the damage is not so easy to fix. Tears streamed down her cheeks. She nuzzled her head against his chest, her eyes finally rolling back as she passed out into his arms. Physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted. Despite all of that, Lucifer's arms are as warm and comforting as she remembers.

Lucifer's gaze softened, he gently shifted [Y/n]'s limp body so he's now carrying her bridal style. Making sure he's not causing her even more pain.

His eyes returned back to the sinners and her daughter, they looked at him with evident confusion in their eyes. He sighs, “She's... My first wife... First ex-wife.. I don't know...” he answered pathetically to the unspoken question in the air, even he himself doesn't know what his status with her is. They never really divorced each other.

Angel Dust whistled, “Quite a dilemma you got there toots.” he snickered and Lucifer glared at him before sighing, he himself agreed to that statement, “I know...” he sighs.

“I'll just leave her somewhere safe to rest and I'll come back to help fix and tidy up this place.” Lucifer says, summoning a portal behind him and quickly stepping in with [Y/n] in his arms. The others didn't have time to protest as the portal closed before they could.

Lucifer carried her effortlessly in his arms, walking towards his bedroom—it is currently the cleanest as the other rooms were dusty from being unused.

He gently laid her down to rest on his bed, making sure she's not lying down on her hair. He was about to tuck her in when he noticed something golden seeped into her white dress, just by her waist.

His eyes widened, that's blood. Angelic blood to be specific.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

She's bleeding, what the actual fuck happened to her?

He thought to himself, debating whether to rip her dress or undress her so he could treat her wound.

“Oh Satan. I shouldn't overthink this, she's in desperate need of help.” Lucifer muttered underneath his breath, hands shaking. Why wouldn't he? She's finally back in his arms and now she's wounded and bleeding and passed out to exhaustion? He's behind worried!

Think Lucifer, think.

He thought to himself before finally getting an idea. He gently wakes her up with a small nudge, causing the girl fo groan and open her eyes.

Pain, sharp pain on her side is what [Y/n] felt first when she woke up. She could see a familiar mop of light blond hair. Disoriented, her eyes blurry,  and head aching, she just groaned, “Xavier...?” she calls out, thinking it was her son.

“I'm sorry [Y/n], I'm just going to undress you and treat your wound real quick. Can I do that?” he murmured, asking for her consent. [Y/n] just nodded and groaned before passing out again.

Lucifer sighs in relief, snapping his fingers together to remove her dress and changed her into something comfortable and appropriate. A light pink satin pajamas. He lifted up her shirt and Lucifer had to cover his mouth.

So much concentrated negative energy is present on her wound, a wound that is located at the left side of her waist.

Lucifer swallows the lump of nothing in his throat, he sits on the empty spot of his bed. He'll worry later, he needs to heal her as fast as he can. Placing his hand above her wound, hovering slightly. A golden aura radiates from the palm of his hand.

No wonder she's so exhausted, it's taking so long to heal this wound. He thought, exerting more energy into healing her. His eyebrows furrowed as he maintained his concentration, making sure his power flows directly into his hand.

Slowly and surely, her wound began to close in. Lucifer could feel the exhaustion creeping in, the concentrated negative energy making the healing process much more harder.

No wonder she was so exhausted, she must've tried healing herself before coming here. He thought to himself.

With a gasped, the wound finally closed and healed itself. It felt like his life was sucked out of him after healing her.

He sighs, his eyes softening as his gaze landed on her sleeping form. She no longer had that pained expression on her face after healing her and he's glad. He's glad to be able to at least help her and not cause her pain for once. He gently lifts her hand and pressed a chaste kiss at her knuckle before bringing it back down again to her side.

He tucks her underneath the blanket, making sure she's comfortable.

He left her side once more, this time, promising that he'll be back. He just needed to help his daughter. He'll be back before she wakes up.

“Luci...? Please don't leave me again...” she whispers in her sleep, snuggling into his warm blanket. Lucifer's eyes watered, tears pricking at the corner of his eyes.

“I'll be back before you know it, I'll see you soon, [Y/n].” he whispers before teleporting away in specks of red and golden dust.

Meanwhile, in heaven.

“YOU LEFT MY MOTHER BEHIND?!” Xavier growled, pissed. He glares at Adam, the first man. Annoyed that the man left his mother with his father, THE MAN WHO LEFT HER FOR ANOTHER WOMAN!

“Look, your mom was clearly pissed off and I don't want to face her wrath. I can tell that that woman is holding so much anger inside her and just waiting to blow up.” Adam says nonchalantly, a sigh escaping his lips, shrugging.

Xavier wanted to rip his own hair in frustration. He is beyond worried, he just found out that his mother would be taking care whatever bullshit is happening in hell and she's been gone for hours now! Adam and the exorcists' arrived back in heaven three hours ago and there is still no sign of his mother.

He's worried, he knows his mother has just gotten out of work from the mortal realm and went straight down to hell to fix whatever damage Adam and the exorcists' did.

“Fuck this, I'm going down there and look for her.” Xavier says with a sigh, annoyed at Adam for being good for nothing.

TAGLIST I:

@valerie-36 @blackbleedingrose @adaizel @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @thedarkkitten @selvyyr @froggybich @brithedemonspawn @kottenox @totallymitya @many-fandoms-lover @dou-dou @mezzyb0nb0n @n1chxyaaenthusiast @cherry-4200 @koirb @galaxyj3lly @crystalplays28 @luleck @scootinonyourmom @rory-cakes @mixplara @crescent-z @bitchyzombienacho @kalisha2004 @altervex @nehy019 @napbatata @kouyoumarryme @sxgacxbe @kooidoom @ok-boke @random-3455 @izzieg3987 @snoozewritezz @dreamzaremyreality @hcneyiced @witchbunny1210 @ghostdoodlen @aikobakugou @just-here-reading @dzhanett-blog @des-deswain5621 @cocomollo @haleypearce @onyxstarhigh06 @nirvana5874 @shaebutter-baby

[mageofseven]

MC: *slaps the boys' ass* Damn, boi. Your ass is fine!

Bros+undateables reaction?

This is an old ask that I thought looked fun so I decided to do it.

So here ya go I guess lol

•���︎▪︎◇°●♡●°◇▪︎▪︎��

Lucifer:

Blushes

Immediately scolds you

You two better be in a relationship or your ass is grounded.

If you are dating, this man may have enjoyed the action, but the words totally killed it.

You'll have a hell of a time getting him to admit that first part.

Do it in front of Diavolo though and he just may never forgive you.

Mammon:

Both sets of cheeks of are red

"W-What the hell??"

He will say that first regardless of if you are dating or not.

If you are dating, he will try to gain his composure and say something flirty instead, but it's too late, he's already made his best impression of a tomato.

Leviathan:

Honestly, his impression of a tomato is even better.

This man looks ready to pass out when you do this to him

And honestly, he just might.

Please, please catch him 😅

Satan:

Honestly, he is stunned at first in whatever position you smacked his but in.

Cheeks red as things lead the crossroads.

Are you his Kitten?

No-> something breaks and your ass runs for the hills

Yes->he picks you up, lightly remarks how he wishes you used a better vocabulary, and carries you to bed for some 'playtime'

Asmodeus:

Giggles and gives it a little shake for you

Says it's one of his many fine qualities.

Asks if you have any more ideas for his 'fine' ass or if you are just going to leave it neglected.

Is mostly teasing you, but in truth is down for anything.

Beelzebub:

"Um...thank you?"

Dating or not, this man is confused

And doesn't really know how to handle the situation.

I mean, no one has actually been brave enough to smack his ass before so he doesn't know what to say or do about it.

If you are dating him, please explain it to him.

If you aren't dating him, how dare you hit the cinnamon roll 😠

Belphegor:

Well that woke sleepy boy up real quick.

His cheeks are red and he's annoyed

And he'd rather drop dead than admit that he enjoyed it, regardless of whether you are dating or not.

If you two are dating, try that the next time you two are 'intimate' in bed and I swear the brat will love it.

Diavolo:

You, a human, had the gall to smack the prince of demons, one of the strongest beings in all of the realms, and descendant of the devil himself

On the ass?

That is so hot 😳

If it was around others, be prepared to be scolded by those in attendance.

If you are dating, also be prepared for Dia to ask for your presence in his bedroom

And if you aren't, be prepared for this man to ask you to date him...and maybe meet him in his room if you're comfortable with it...👀

Barbatos:

You can feel it within your bones--no, your very soul

You have made a grave error.

How grave?

Are you both dating?

No->prepare to never sleep again for your dreams, nay, your nightmares are no longer safe.

Yes->Aight keep moving

Was it in front of others?

No->he grumpy but he loves you so it's all cool

Yes->oh devil...well move your ass along

Do you both have a dom/sub relationship in the bedroom and are into bdsm (and are basically okay with punishment in the bedroom)?

Yes->your ass (and every other part of you) is in a lot of trouble the next to you're in the bedroom with him

No->this bitch stops talking to you for so long you start wondering if you're still dating.

Solomon:

Raises an eyebrow at you

In truth, isn't the biggest fan of this treatment, regardless of whether you are dating or not.

Either way, will smile his usual smile and ask that you to refrain from doing that ever again

Though his smile might be even scarier if you are not dating 😅

Simeon:

I'll be honest, if you did this in front of Luke, I will through hands with you.

Even still, this feels like a serious crime.

I mean, Simeon is an angel.

He is a being from the Celestial realm who is allowed no sexually desires or experiences

And you shatter his world by letting him know his ass is fine as all hell.

How does a Celestial being react to such a...'passionate' compliment?

He is not quite sure, if he is honest

And you have him at a lost of words, regardless of whether you two are secretly dating.

This is a new experience after all.

Either way, apologize for making this poor man uncomfortable and give him a proper compliment

...and quadruple check Luke was nowhere around in the slightest when this happened.

Mephistopheles:

Oh dear devil, you broke him.

His face is red, his mouth is moving

But not a single sound is coming out.

You have some things to consider here.

Are you dating?

No->he will hit you with his cane and call you every demon slur for humans that he knows.

Yes->alright, so you're his idiot then. He's used to your bs.

More importantly than that question, did you smack his ass enough to make him stumble?

No->I will personally let you live then.

Yes->that is mean and I am upset. Next question.

Was anyone else around at the time?

Yes->Mephisto will refuse to talk to you for a while.

No->alright, we will both forgive you this once, human.

[katnisspeetaprim]

First Meeting

Lucifer/FallenAngel!Reader (based on my fallen angel oc, but feel free to imagine her however you like!)

Summary: Prequel to clipped wings, where Lucifer and fallen angel reader meet for the first time, whenhe first visits the hotel.

Warnings: angst, female reader, Lucifer grabs her arm, fluff, crying,

Word Count: 1275 Hazbin M.list

Charlie was even more frantic that usual today, due to the fact that her father was coming to the hotel for the first time.

‘Charlie! How about we calm down, huh?’ You grabbed Charlie by the shoulders, effectively stopping her from running round like a headless chicken. She paused, before taking a deep breath and exhaling.

‘Sorry! I’m just nervous, he’ll be here any second!’

‘Don’t worry! We’ve all got your back!’ You gestured to all the residents of the hotel with a wink, and Charlie instantly felt validated.

Lucifer was here and it wasn’t going as well as Charlie hoped.

Alastor had immediately taken a disliking towards the king, and they’d been butting heads for a little while now.

‘Ok!’ Charlie pushed her way between the two men and dragged her father away.

‘Oh hey! Dad, this is Y/N!’ She practically shoved him to stand in front of you and you just waved awkwardly. ‘She’s a fallen angel just like you!’

Lucifer looked you up and down, clearly unimpressed by the look on his face.

‘So I see... Pretty strange thing to see.’ You sunk back, a little intimidated by his glare.

‘Uh, nice to meet you, your majesty.’ You held your hand out for him to shake. He stared at your hand for a second, before ultimately taking it to keep the peace.

‘Uh-huh.’

Charlie yet again sensed the awkward atmosphere and intervened again. She hoped by introducing her dad to someone just like him might ease the tension, but she was obviously wrong.

‘Ok, maybe not! Dad, let’s take a tour!’ She once again pulled her father away, but he spared one last glare to you over his shoulder with narrowed eyes.

You frowned and looked down sadly. How could you screw this up so badly for Charlie?

It had been a few hours since Lucifer’s arrival. A lot had gone down that day, so now you wanted nothing more than to collapse into bed. You worse a silk robe over your pyjamas as you got your bed ready, when a voiced startled you and caused you to yelp in fright and spin round.

‘What’s your angle with my daughter?’

‘Oh your majesty! I uh... didn’t know you were still here.’ You pulled your robe fully clothed with a blush, suddenly conscious of your state of undress.

Lucifer took no notice of your flustered state and entered the room, closing the door behind him with a click.

Your eyebrows knit together as you took a cautious step back, not knowing his intentions.

‘Um wha-‘

‘Answer the question!’ He cut you off, voice raised as his face contorted.

You stepped back again, not expecting his raised voice, which caused you to trip over the bed post, sending you tumbling to the ground.

Lucifer stood over you, horns beginning to protrude from his head as his anger grew. You stared up at him, paralyzed with fear. You began to cry as you tried to form a coherent sentence in your current state.

‘I-I h-heard about her hotel after I fell and wanted to help!’

‘Don’t lie to me!’ he growled out, fire spitting from the corners of his mouth as he grabbed your arm, roughly pulling you towards him.

‘You angels always have a motive! You using Charlie to get back in heavens good books!?’

‘No! I swear! Please ask Charlie! She’ll vouch that I’ve been doing nothing but help since I got here!’ You pleaded as you felt your arm going numb from how hard he was holding it.

The two of you held each others gaze for a few moments .Your eyes full of fear, whilst his with hot rage, until they weren’t anymore.

His face suddenly snapped back to normal and he released you arm. As soon as he let you go, you hastily shuffled back until you came in contact with your bed side table, never taking your eyes off the man in front of you.

Lucifer’s face softened and he turned away from you, expression now one of regret.

‘I’m sorry...’ He whispered, so quietly you almost couldn’t hear him.

You didn’t respond, not trusting your voice to sound normal right now. When you didn’t speak, Lucifer turned back to face you and he felt awful.

‘I’m sorry I hurt you... I just have a lot of trust issues, especially when it comes to angels...’ He trailed off, too ashamed to meet your eye.

‘As much as I miss heaven, there are people there that I’d rather never see again.’ You spoke from your position on the ground, not wanting to risk getting up in case the movement set him off again.

Lucifer frowned at your words, but he had no right to push you for clarification right now.

As he looked at you, he caught sight of the bruise forming where he’d grabbed you. He gritted his teeth and knelt down besides you. It made him feel even worse when you flinched at his presence.

‘May I?’ Lucifer asked softly, holding his hand out expectantly. You looked at him sceptically, but reluctantly held your arm out for him.

Placing his hand over the bruise, you watched in awe as a bright glow formed beneath his palm.

There was a slight tingling sensation, and when he moved his hand, your bruise was gone. You gawked at the now healed area, before looking over to Lucifer, eyes wide.

He was smiling sadly as he stood and held his hand out, to help you up.

You gingerly accepted, beginning to feel more at ease with him now that he’d calmed down.

‘Jeez I feel so awful right now.’ He chuckled and covered his face with his hand, embarrassed. ‘I know just saying sorry isn’t enough.’

‘It’s ok.’ He uncovered his face when he herd your voice, and was shocked to see you smiling softly. ‘I get it, Charlie means the world to you, and you’d do anything to protect her.’

‘Still though, I hurt you...’ He trailed off, scratching the back of his neck.

‘And you fixed it too.’ You countered.

‘Let me buy you dinner to make up for it!’ Lucifer suddenly asked, causing a faint blush to spread across your cheeks.

‘Oh! Um, that’s not necessary!’ You waved your hand dismissively, not wanting to inconvenience the king of Hell more than you’d already done so.

‘Please, I insist! I know a really private place, so we won’t be disturbed.’ You thought for a second before smiling, blush growing a little bigger.

‘Well, if you insist.’ Lucifer genuinely smiled and nodded.

‘By the way, that girl Maggie is an angel too, right?’ His smile faltered a little as he spoke, but he needed to ask about her too.

‘Vaggie.’ You corrected, ‘But yes. Her and Charlie have been together long before I arrived. They really love each other. You reassured, understanding his need to ask about the other angel involved with his daughter.

‘That’s good to hear.’ He looked over to you, and it was the first time he’d properly looked at you since he’d first entered the room. Now it was his turn to blush as he finally noticed how you were dressed.

‘Oh wow, look at how rude I’m being, intruding on a lady at night!’ He started laughing nervously as he made a bee line for the door. ‘I’ll be in touch about dinner, night!’ He shouted without looking back and slammed the door behind him.

You stared after him, head tilted in confusion, before you began laughing to yourself.

At least Charlie would be pleased to know you hadn’t screwed this up at all.

[hiemaldesirae]

Okay, so everyone is all cursed cat Alastor *hates* Vox...but what if It absolutely ADORES Vox? What if it's just like Alastor's Shadow, and it holds ALL of the emotions Alastor won't show? So it's ALL over Vox? Vox can't get a moment alone, cursed cat!Alastor is ALWAYS with him. Following him, loving on him. Only allows Vox to pet him...attacks regular Alastor when he attacks Vox, actually *defeating him.* (Alastor hates that Cat. And is ridiculously jealous.)

oh i endorse this 100%. i wrote a little snippet for it even LMFAO

it gets a tad long so ill leave it under the cut. it is mostly word vomit but . you know.. hopefully u guys enjoy :)

"We should really consider just putting the poor thing out of its misery," Alastor shoots a glare at the curled up lump on the carpet, its foaming mouth bound with rope, even as it chews furiously at its restraints. "Why, if we didn't, we would be violating our own 'no pets' policy!"

"Alastor..." Charlie frowns at her hotelier, before chancing a hesitant glance back at the creature. "Look, no one's perfect, right? Can't we try giving the cat a chance, at least?"

The other residents in the room- Angel, Husk, Vaggie, and even Lucifer himself- all give her blank eyed stares, Angel and Husk in particular rolling up their sleeves to show off the long, deep gouges in their arms.

"Charlie, honey, I think I speak for everyone here when I say you should just let Alastor get rid of it," Vaggie grimaces. "I know you love animals and all, but that- *thing* isn't safe to be around."

"What? Come on, it's sweet!" Charlie turns around, her back to the creature as she motions to it, completely unawares of the furry animal finally chewing through the final bit of rope as it lunges for her, much to the horror of the other hotel inhabitants.

An hour later, Alastor finds himself and his shadow traversing the streets of Pentagram City with the creature held securely in his shadow's grip. "Hmm... so, then, where should we dispose of this little pest? Ah, I have an idea."

He snaps his fingers and in a moment, reappears in a cloud of black, smokey shadow- right in front of the Vee's tower. With a swift motion to his shadow attendant, his doppelganger releases the cat-like creature from its claws, the feral little creature immediately charging the doors of the tower once it's let free. Alastor barely manages to hold back a snort before he once more steps back into the shadows- tomorrow, he'd check back again and see how it was going for Vox. With any luck, the results would be entertaining.

Vox gets the notification in the middle of a meeting. It takes merely the wave of his hand to dismiss the investors and step out, rolling his eyes as he prepares to deal with Val or Vel's shit again for the twentieth time today.

"What is it now...?" He frowns down at his phone, before noticing his assistant's contact on the phone. "Dei? What is it? Did something happen to Lis?"

"Uh, no, it's not anything like that, Sir," the aquatic sinner responds nervously. "Though, um... well, we have a little bit of an emergency, kind of. Not... really, since it's mostly under control now, but we lost a few employees in the scuffle--"

"Just tell me what happened," Vox heaves a long suffering sigh as he presses a claw to his screen, ready to send out apology gift baskets to HR again.

"Um. Well, there is a... Populis calls it a cat, but I'm quite sure it's not any sort of 'typical' animal at all, especially since it has antlers and a monocle... anyway. There's this... *creature* just kind of running around on the main floor, and it took out about five workers before Baxter managed to subdue it."

Vox blinks once, then twice, and then sighs again. "I swear to fucking God- okay, go and contact HR so they can get you all tested for rabies or whatever the fuck it is down in Hell, and I'll come to deal with the fucking cat thing."

"Yes, sir," Dei replies dutifully before the line goes dead. Vox groans before schooling himself and his expression and disappearing into a flash and electric current, teleporting all the way down to the first floor of the Vee's tower.

"S-sir!" Papermint comes running toward him first, looking worried. "Um... so, uh, when Dei went to get the cat creature, it sort of attacked him too--"

"For fucks sake, do none of you know how to do your job properly?" Vox pinches his screen again, thoroughly done. It was fucking Tuesday and he was already hoping for the end of the week. Get rich and famous, they told you. It'll be fun, they told you. Fun his fucking ass-- he has to spend his morning sitting through investment meetings and now, having to deal with a rabid Hell animal and the fact that it was mowing down his workers like some sort of demented lawnmower. Fucking great, just what he needed.

He stomps into the main hallway with the little eel sinner trailing awkwardly behind him, eyes widening in surprise as he takes in the scene before him.

On the ground, his main assistants Dei and Populis grapple with a tiny red animal.

It... looks somewhat like a cat, if a cat had an unholy union with whatever kind of deer Alastor was. And it also had a monocle, and was foaming at the mouth (yeah, definitely rabies), while his tech administrator Baxter stood to the side and watched with a bucketful of popcorn in hand. Logi, possibly the only normal sinner he had under his employment, was trying her damnednest to pull the cat- who, by the way, was winning the fight with BOTH his assistants- off of Dei, whose ear was currently in its mouth.

"I really need a drink," Vox groans before he rolls his sleeves up and walks forwards into the fray, the air around him crackling with static electricity as he intends to separate the fighters, whether with force or not- but to his surprise, he doesn't need to use any force at all.

Instead, when the little cat creature sees him, its eyes light up before it lets go of Dei's ear, the manta ray sinner letting out a groan of relief before collapsing onto the floor, the other assistants rushing to help him up. The cat, on the other hand, leaps up at Vox, who instinctively catches it in his arms. It purrs as it rubs against him, seemingly no longer hostile towards any of the other sinners in the room.

Vox stares down at the cat. It stares up at him, then grins.

It's... kind of cute, actually. In a really weird, freaky way.

"Uh... boss?" Baxter raises an eyebrow as he looks at the cat held securely in Vox's arms, then at the gaggle of sinners trying to make sure that Dei doesn't bleed out. "You gonna help, or...?"

Vox rolls his eyes before he sends a bolt of electricity over at the sinner and burns the bite, effectively cauterizing and closing the wound. "I'll have HR deal with it and get Dei a week's worth of paid recovery. Any more than that and I'm not covering it. You guys just get back to work after the cleanup crew comes, got it?"

He sighs down at the creature in his arms as he walks out of the main lobby, frowning to himself. "What am I going to do with you...? I've got a fitting with Dorian later, and he's *definitely* not gonna allow you in... and what the hell do you even eat, anyway? Better not be my workers- and oh dear god, I've got Vark, too, I can't believe I forgot about him-"

Still, even as he grumbles to himself, Vox can't help but recognize the truth: no matter what difficulties this little shit brings him, he's definitely keeping it.

A week's worth of time passes before Alastor finally finds some free time to go off and take a look at how his *esteemed* rival has been doing. He's half expecting half the Entertainment District to be destroyed by the time he returns, but there's nothing of the sort. In fact, business seems to be going about as usual... but then again, this may be one more of the TV demon's methods of avoidance. Vox *was* always a good actor, after all-- even if his own life was falling apart, he would never let that show.

So with that reassurance settled in himself, Alastor decides to take a risky move and get in closer range to his target- he slips into the shadows surrounding the crowd of reporters gathering around the ground floor of the Vee's Tower, clamouring for the chance to see the Media Overlord in the flesh.

Strangely, they all seem more chatty today-- Alastor didn't recall any sort of holiday being today, so it seemed that there was more information to be heard... and *that* was surprising, the revelation that something interesting may have happened while he was gone. Was it perhaps because of the hellspawn he'd dropped off a week earlier?

His question is answered not even a moment later, when Vox steps out of the doors, a confident grin on his face and a small, hissing red creature draped around his neck like a scarf.

Alastor's eye twitches.

Did he *keep* the damned thing? And why the *fuck* was he absentmindedly petting its fucking ears?! *That should have been him!*

[apocalypseornaw]

Should've Known (2/3)

Benny Lafitte x Reader (reader has nickname of Bandit. This will be a mini series with the break up first then how they got together then Benny coming to find her)

Human/Hunter Benny AU

Benny reflects on your relationship during his drive from Louisiana to Sioux Falls

The day Benny met you was way back when Lucifer had been busted out after the seals were broken. Demons and monsters were crawling out of every dark corner of hell and when Bobby had sent up the message that hunters needed to circle the wagons to push back Benny and Elizabeth had thrown their hats into the fight as well.

Getting to the safe house where all of you were hold up was a task in itself. They'd just finished the tests needed to get into the threshold when he'd heard a set of voices hollering "OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!" He hadn't expected two women to come sliding into the door, covered in blood and laughing something about ghouls.

Dean has jumped to grab both of you, Bobby and Ellen both were clearly terrified at the blood covering you both but after you'd wiped the blood free of your face and assured everyone the blood didn't belong to either of you introductions were done. Ellen had introduced Jo as her daughter and Bobby had introduced you as basically his kid "We call her bandit but that's a story for a different day" Dean had added with a laugh when he had to dodge you swinging at his arm.

You'd grinned before wiping your hand on your jeans and offering it to him and Elizabeth "Well if I would've known we had company I would've cleaned up a bit" Jo and Dean had both cracked up but one look from Ellen silenced the three of you. "Serious note, thank you two for coming. We need all hands on deck"

After that fight you'd ended up helping Jo to sort of takes reigns of some of the hunters network to take the load off of Bobby which meant more and more hunters knew you.

It took about a year and half of knowing each other before the first time you and Jo had stopped in Carencro for a visit. Benny could still remember when you'd called him "Lafitte, um we need a better first aid kit then we got and a decent place to crash for a couple hours. Think we can take you and Liz up on that offer?"

-------

Elizabeth had helped you and Jo patch up and considering neither of you felt like going to the café or out for food Benny had offered to cook you something.

Jo was still in the shower and Elizabeth was putting the first aid items away when Benny had heard a light set of footsteps behind him. He'd been around you enough to know you were purposely making noise to let him know you were there. He hadn't turned around from the stove before saying "Just wondering Darlin, you ever gonna tell me the story behind Bandit?"

You laughed and he cut his eyes at you watching as you grabbed a bottle of water then came to stand not far from him watching the food as he stirred the contents of the pan around "Your sister knows" he turned in earnest then to look at you "Well that's just wrong"

You laughed again and he had to enjoy the sound. He'd learned quickly that it took you a while to let down your walls and seeing you relaxed around him meant a lot. You'd tapped the bottle in thought before finally saying "Raccon traits Benjamin. Stays up all night, dark circles under eyes, looks cute but will fight you and very well may be rabid"

A smile slipped onto his face at that "Bandit works then" you'd grinned then leaned over his shoulder "What ya cooking anyways?" He shrugged "Making a stirfry. Figured it wouldn't be too hard on your stomachs but would give you something warm so you two can get some rest"

About that time Jo and Elizabeth emerged and the mood quickly shifted, any conversation between just you and Benny long forgotten.

When had the two of you slipped from friends to more? Was it when Andrea started swearing something was going on between the two of you? (resulting in Jo going after her)

Or was it when you got hurt and Jo had called Elizabeth for help because the two of you were about thirty miles from them and he'd left In the middle of the night to go to your side.

---------

The day he'd found out Andrea cheated on him it just so happened you'd swung through Carencro with Dean and Sam to see Elizabeth before continuing on to New Orleans to pick some stuff up for Bobby.

The three of you had gone to Benny's bar with intentions to grab a beer then head to the café before hitting the road. Neither of you had expected that about the time you'd be walking into the door Andrea would nearly knock you down storming out.

Benny had made it to the corner in enough time to see Dean grab your arm before you could hit the ground and steady you. He'd seen the anger in your eyes as you'd hollered "The fuck is your problem Andrea?"

She'd eyed you before looking at Benny who'd by then made it to the doorway "Yet you ask how I could cheat?" "Woah woah woah...she cheated on you?" You'd asked Benny and when he nodded a smile that couldn't be described as anything other than dangerous slipped onto your face "I'm gonna beat your ass bitch!"

Dean had grabbed you before you could get a hand on Andrea and Sam had helped him to drag you into the bar. The last thing Dean had said over his shoulder was "Andrea. I can hold her for maybe five minutes then you're on your own"

After the split from Andrea it seemed like you and Benny started finding your way to each other a lot more often. When you needed a hunting partner that wasn't Jo or either Winchester you'd call him and vice versa.

The first time he'd realized he'd developed feelings for you beyond friendship was on a hunt. You'd gotten hurt protecting a few kids. Seeing the blood staining the front of your shirt had terrified him. Even worse was when he had to be the one to stitch you up.

You'd laid across the bed in the motel and teased him as he laid out the suture kit "Damn Lafitte you look a little green. Cmon it aint that bad. Focus on my hell hound scars and this looks like face paint in comparison"

He'd laughed to humor you more than anything then worked in silence. When he was done you'd squeezed his hand "See? No biggie. Now do you need patching?" He shook his head because he had a few ribs he was certain was cracked but there really wasn't nothing that could be done for them.

He'd helped you to stand and it was then you'd seemed to notice your shirt was wrecked. "Damn, I need a new shirt" he hadn't thought before offering you one of his. When he had the smile on your face had made his heart flip "You sure Benny? Ask Dean and Sam I don't return shirts"

He'd helped you to slip your ruined shirt off, trying to ignore how it felt to have his hands on your skin. Once his shirt was covering you, the distance between the two of you were pratically none existent.

You stood picking absent-mindedly at the front of the shirt and he'd not moved his hand after buttoning one of the buttons on the grey henley you now wore so that it wouldn't fall down off your shoulder "Benny?" Your voice was so damn soft when your eyes met it took everything in him to not kiss you or at least ask if he could. "Thanks for the shirt" you'd told him then pulled away to climb into one of the beds in the motel room. He'd nodded more to himself then to you "Anytime Bandit"

The first time He'd kissed you, you'd voiced the fear of being a rebound. The truth was Andrea couldn't have been further from his mind. The only thought he'd had that night was just how gorgeous you'd looked dancing at the bar with Sam.

Hell he hadn't thought much of Andrea in a while before that. Yeah he'd loved her and her cheating had hurt but he couldn't help but wonder could it have been a course correction because looking at you? He didn't know if he ever would've gotten with her if he'd known you like he knew you now.

Weeks passed and he finally managed to get it through your head you weren't a rebound. He cared about you. You slowly started to open yourself to being with him. The first time the two of you had slept together you'd woke up the next morning and had been so damn distant it had scared him. He didn't want one night to cost him one of the most important people in his life. He hadn't realized you were thinking the same thing.

---------

After that the two of you learned to talk to each other, learned to trust in the love that had formed from a friendship years strong. That was why he didn't understand why you'd left. Why you hadn't given him a chance to explain.

He gripped the steering wheel of his truck a bit tighter. Elizabeth had throw a plate at his head when he'd gone over to ask her why she'd told you he'd asked Andrea to come to town. He didn't blame her for telling you, hell he loved the fact that she was protective of you but he wished she would've asked for an explanation first.

He had one hell of a drive ahead of him but he had to see you face to face,had to at least try to explain what had actually happened and at the very least to convince you that you were the most amazing woman he'd ever known.

He knew he would be facing Bobby and Ellen's wrath, Jo's too but it would be worth it if it meant he could fix things between the two of you.

@123passwort @valeks-star

[nkirukaj]

vVv is for Voe (6)

Pairing: StaticBeau & RadioBeau

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Humor! SMUT!

Word Count: 2.2K

<Chapter 5

6. We're Friends

“Hi,” Lucifer stopped Voe in the hallway

“Oh, hello,” she noticed that she had to look down on him today, she was taller with her heels on. Normally this would give her the ick, but Lucifer was cute enough to pull it off. “Did you need me?”

“Um I just wanted to say good morning,” he stares up at her with big eyes “How was your sleep?”

“Just fine,” she leans on the wall to give him access to pin her there.

He blushes and plays with his fingers “I was just letting you know that if you need anything.. I’m your guy!”

She nods “You told me that,”

“Right!” He blushes deeper “Just verifying!”

“Do you want me to ask you for something?”

“Yes-uh no you don’t have to! Gotta go! King stuff!” He takes off down the hall

“Isn’t your office the other way?”

“Yup!” He turns and goes the other way, halfway down the hall she calls out to him

“Lucifer,” her voice was thin and light. She comes off the wall

He spins around “Hmm?”

“Would you like to go out sometime?”

His eyes widen “Y-y-y-yeah yes yeah!” He smiles “I said yes right?”

She laughs “Yeah you did,”

“Amazing,” he claps his hands together and looks around as if he doesn’t know what to do next. Then, he remembered the direction in which he was walking and disappeared around the corner. Voe giggled a bit, she didn’t think that the King of Hell would be so nervous, but then she remembered that despite power and status he was just a man, and men could not resist her. She heard her phone ring and took it out of her pocket.

“Hello?”

“Hello love, I’m calling to see your progress for this week,”

“The week just started so it’s not like I got anything new already,”

Velvette’s voice sounds farther away “See? I told you. You’re the one who told me to ask!” she gets back on the line “Yeah, but what are you up to anyway?”

“Well…” she strolls down the hall lazily, her voice raising in pitch

“Oh, you’re up to something, do tell,” Velvette said, suddenly sounding interested

“Nothing really, but I just got a date with Lucifer,”

She can hear Vox in the background spit something out and yell “LUCIFER?” there’s a scuffle on the other end before Vox is the one on the line “How is it that you managed to get a date with the King of Hell, but you can’t get any more information on Alastor??”

“Give me time okay? Getting a date with Lucifer was easy, he’s totally into me!”

“Maybe…I don’t know. Can we get Alastor ‘totally into you’ then?” Vox sounds unsure and slightly annoyed “What happened to the love potion?” Voe doesn’t have an answer for this, so she’s glad when Vox keeps going “Or! Use the king to your advantage! Get some info from him,”

Voe plays with her hair “I don’t think he knows anything,”

“He’s the King, of course, he does,” the annoyance in his voice grows 

“Fine, we’ll see.”

Alastor lurked in the corner, listening as he happened to be strolling down the stairs at that moment. He squints, his eyes glowing in the dark corner he chose to stand in. He approaches when she ends her call.

“Who were you talking to?” he has no time to play games

She looks up at him as she slides her phone back into her pocket “Mind your business creep,”

“I am not to be trifled with,”

She rolls her eyes “So you keep reminding me,” she sighs “I was talking to a friend, about how I got a date with the King. Surely you knew that since you were eavesdropping around the corner,” she steps closer to him “You know…” she starts “It’s a bit strange that you keep telling me to stay away from you, but it’s you who keeps finding your way to me. Why is that?” She reaches out to touch him, but he uses his cane to stop her. 

“Do not touch me,”

Voe smirks “Why? Does it give you the ick?”

“Mostly because you are dirty,”

She furrows her brows “I’m not dirty! Well- I am, just not in that way,”

“No, you are. But children don’t know when to wash,”

“You are not coming at me for hygiene, yellow teeth,”

“That doesn’t stop you from being dirty,”

“Do you think I’m putting makeup on a dirty face?”

He gives her a close-lipped smile “I simply don’t care. Maybe you should stop opening your legs and worry more about washing what’s between them,”

Voe’s jaw drops “That is slutshaming!”

“Aww,”

“First off, my genitals are very clean, second you know nothing of my sexual habits!”

Alastor chuckles “Oh I don’t? With the way, you’ve been throwing yourself at the King? I think I know a quiff when I see one,”

She gives a blank expression “Okay, I don’t know what that means, but I am not one!”

His smile grows “So many names for you. I like this, maybe we should do this more often,”

“You’re a dick you know that?”

“Oh.. and you’re a quiff. You should probably wash more than once a week,”

“What? Are you projecting?”

“No, you don’t smell very good,”

“Ah, I guess you’ve never smelled soap and water before,”

“No, just a fishy smell in the air,” he waves his hand in front of his nose

She waves around her arms “Why do you hate women?” 

“I don’t hate women, I just don’t like you.”

“Your comments are indicative of a hatred towards women,”

“Sorry for the mixup! I don’t like you,”

“But you don’t hate me?” she tilts her head

“I don’t know,” he steps toward her, cupping her chin “You can’t be hateable with that face,” he says, dissipating away

Voe shakes her head in confusion. She picks up her arm and smells her pit “I smell amazing,” she says to herself as she marches down the hallway.

“Hey toots, can we talk?” Angel leans on the wall

Voe turns and looks up at the spider from her chair “Yeah?”

“So…you, Smiles and….Lucifer? Is that like a threeway thing or a triangle thing?”

Her eyes widen “Oh no, it’s me and Lucifer. Alastor is a huge ass,”

Angel smirks at her “So ya tapping both?”

“What? No?!”

“Maybe not yet, but it’s coming, and I am excited!”

She leans back “Why?”

“‘Cuz I’m bored, and I told you-Actually I didn’t tell you. I told myself, but Imma keep an eye on you.”

“You don’t have to, I’ll be on my best behavior,”

He crosses his arms “You betta be. No more poisoning people!” He points with his other set of arms “Other than that, I think we could be good friends,” he smiles

She turns to him “Say, what’d you do with the love potion?”

He raises a brow “Why? I know Lucifer is a hottie, especially with him being so short, but no. No posioning!”

She puts her hands up “Alright alright,”

“Mhmm, you do it the natural way. And I wouldn’t tell you if I wasn’t your friend,”

“Okay Angel, then we’re friends.” she settles in her chair “Hey, what’s that accent?”

“Huh?”

“That accent sounds like…. ‘spaghetti’. Are you Italian?”

He leans forward “First off, that’s offensive, and second, yes I am. From Brooklyn, New York,”

She turns to face him “I’m from New York!”

“Really? See I knew there was something about you! Where you from?”

“Well, I was born in Harlem,”

“Harlem? My dad had some enemies up there!”

“Enemies?”

He sits with her “Yeah like Mafia enemies,”

“Your dad was in the Mafia???”

“Yeah, we all were, family tradition!”

“Oh my God…” she stares off into the distance

“I know right,” he said proudly

They sit in silence for a moment when Voe leans forward “Hey I got a question,”

“Alright,”

“Does Alastor ever talk about me?”

Angel breaks into a grin “Does he ever talk about you? Hmm well, there was some time when he was pacing and mumbling about some dame. ‘How dare she? And who does she think she is?’ and I was thinking whoever that is has him wrapped around her finger,” 

Voe grins “That’s good to know,” her grin turns wicked “Really good to know,”

“See this is why I’m glad that we’re friends now,”

Voe sat on the bed in her room in V-Tower with her legs up by her head. 

“Damn Charlie always walking around, got me doing all this walking! Shit!” she rolls over and falls somewhat on her neck. “Ow!” she calls out, trying to rub her feet and neck at the same time. 

There’s a bang on the door “Hey! People are trying to work, and you’re complaining a lot!”

“Vox!” she calls out to him

He rips the door open “What?”

She pretends to be shocked “Come here,”

He huffs, coming further into the room. He crosses his arms “What?!”

“Why are you being so nasty?”

“Because some people are working. And other people should be working. Looking at you,”

She smiles “I am working,” she kicks her legs up in the air

“Mhmm, what by lazing around?” He flicks her toes

“I have to keep my body in the best condition!”

He rolls his eyes “Yeah yeah,” and grabs her legs, pulling her towards him

“Woah!” she giggles as Voz starts helping her stretch one leg at a time. He pushes her leg back slowly, noticing her maintaining eye contact with him as he does, she’s smirking as well.

“What are you smirking at?”

Voe shrugs “You have to admit, this is kinda hot,”

“I’m not admitting anything to you,” he pushes her other leg back so far that he is leaning, hovering right above her. When he pulls back, Voe wraps her leg around him and pulls him back down.

“What about now?” she asks before they immediately start tonguing each other. Their tongues go in spirals, wrapping around each other, tasting each other’s saliva. Vox crawls on top of her, his hands sliding up her body to land on her breast and he squeezes, digging his claws into them. Voe reaches up and hastily undoes his bowtie and removes his blazer, tossing it to the floor. Next comes his shirt, which reveals his deep blue skin and the pecs beneath it. Voe runs her hands over his chest when he takes a hand and pins her arms up over her head. He unzips her hoodie, revealing only a bra underneath, which he tears apart with his teeth.

“Rawr,” Voe comments

“Shut up,” 

“Make me,”

Vox flips her over so she’s on her knees, pulling down both her leggings and her panties at once, so her cunt is on full display for him. “Such a pretty pussy,” he slaps her ass

“Oh!” 

“A pretty pussy on a pretty lady,” he rubs his thumb over her cunt, the digit slowly dipping inside her for a moment, returning with some slick that he puts right on his tongue. Vox slides his fingers into her cunt, his thumb rubbing her clit. He curves his fingers inside her, massaging in a repeated motion.

“Uhhh,” Voe moans, arching her back for him “Fuck…”

His fingers begin moving faster inside her, pumping in and out over and over, the slick leaking out and spilling all over her legs and the bed. “Good girl, you’re such a good girl aren’t you?”

She nods “Mhmm, I’m a good girl. Yes Vox, I’m such a good girl,” she tells him, his fingers pushing her over the edge, spilling her juices into his palm.

Vox takes his slick-covered hand and smacks her on the ass, dragging it up her back, and pushing her down into the mattress. He opens his belt and drops his pant and boxers, full dick on display. It’s veiny and hard and it stretches Voe’s cunt as it enters her. 

“Oh God!”

“Not God; just me,”

“Ugh shut up!” she laughs a little as he rams into her over and over again “Fuck that feels good, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!” Voe bites her lip as Vox sticks this thumb into her asshole “Oh! A twist!”

She and Vox both start laughing as they continue to fuck. Voe starts backing into him, fucking him back, grinding on his cock as he fucks her. He grabs a fistful of hair and yanks it, pulling her head backward as they both give in to the pleasure and cum, their juices mixing while Vox pulls out and collapses on top of her. His face was on her ass, licking the slick from her cunt in one motion.

Voe shakes her ass “Get off me!” she jokes and he slaps her ass again

“Not being a very good girl are you,”

“I think I just proved that I am,”

“Then you need to stay that way,” he slips his pants back on and doesn’t even bother closing them before he strolls out of her room. “Now get back to work!” he calls back to her.

Chapter 7>

[mcx7demonbros]

Fool Me Twice (Brothers x Klein)

This is chapter 2 of my I’m an Evil Overlord series, featuring my self-insert MC, Klein. The story takes place somewhere in season 2, but before the string of events that lead to lesson 38.

C/W. Swearing. Demon eating human. Slight mention of cannibalism. Suggestive.

No proofread

Also, please read these first to understand basics in this fic.

Brothers saw Klein creating monsters for the first time (scenarios with my MC) The Cancelled Factory Tour (Prologue 1 of the series) Just a Coincidence? (Prologue 2 of the series) The Truth is Out (previous part)

“I believe that’s all for today questioning.” Barbatos said as he stood up from his chair. “Thank you for your cooperation, Klein. But I believe I have to warn you, if anything of the words you told me here were lies, not only you but also the Brothers would be in a much more jeopardized position.”

“I know.” Klein said as he left the chair to go to his cell’s bed.

“Very well. I shall be leaving. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to talk to the Royal Guards standing outside. After all, Lord Diavolo really does care for your well-being.”

“Wait.”

Barbatos turned around when he heard Klein’s call. “How can I help you, Klein?”

“Can I ask for your advice…as a friend?”

“…I see no problem with that.”

“Um…do you think they, I mean, the Brothers, would forgive me?”

“Well, it’s very hard to say to be honest. You kept hidden a big important secret from them, the first time with Lord Belphegor, the second with your own identity. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. You hurt their egos badly. I have never heard of a demon being forgiving to someone twice.”

Oh darn it.

“But I believe you still have a chance. The Brothers love you deeply. Before them, I have never heard of a demon or a group of demons being so enamored with their partner. In addition, the “cell” you are staying in is the result of the pleading of the Avatar of Pride. That proves they still care for you strongly and deeply.”

“Really?”

Barbatos nodded.

“Then I must go see them. But, I’m still a prisoner here.”

“Well, you could always appeal to change your imprisonment now to house arrest. After all, we haven’t had any official decision on you yet.”

“Alright, then please take me to Diavolo, we need to talk.”

“Very well, follow me.”

Barbatos then took Klein out of his cell and they went to meet Diavolo. On the way to Diavolo’s study, the two encountered the demon noble Val’gak, whom Klein was sure to be behind his predicament at the moment.

Klein and Val’gak glared at each other before parting way. After Klein left, Val’gak clenched his teeth. He thought he had put Lucifer and his Brothers into a big predicament this time and the Seven Lords’ precious human would be executed. However, contrary to Val’gak’s expectation, the Crown Prince gave Klein a luxurious room in the Demon Lord’s Castle to serve as his “prison cell”, only replacing the door with iron bars.

Maybe I should go tell that person. Val’gak left, but not before giving Klein, who was following Barbatos, one last bullet glare.

Barbatos dropped Klein and Cedric at the big door of the House of Lamentation.

“I wish you good luck, Klein.”

“Thanks, Barbatos.”

“And you.” Barbatos didn’t even try to hide his disapproving look when he turned to Cedric. The latter had hidden himself behind Klein, shaking.

After shaking his head, Barbatos left.

“When this is all over, tell me all things you know about Barbatos.” Klein returned to his Evil Overlord mode right after he was sure Barbatos had left for good. “That green-haired demon with an ugly haircut gets on my nerve. I must find out his weakness.”

“Master, he can look both into the past & future, don’t you fear he has already known your words just now?”

After hearing what Cedric said, Klein instinctively covered his mouth. The butler could hear his Master muttering the F word.

“Let’s go inside.” Klein took the key out of his pocket and unlocked the door.

Klein peeked inside first, half-expecting the corpses were still there. Fortunately, they weren’t. But when Klein looked more closely, he still found some dry blood on the floor and the wall, along with burn & bullet marks.

They must have been so sad that they didn’t have the mood to clean the House carefully. The Overlord felt even more guilty now.

After considering his options carefully, Klein decided he would talk to the twins first. This was the first time he kept a secret hidden from Belphie. As for Beel, since the last time he was helping Belphie, from Gluttony’s perspective, it wasn’t deceiving or keeping secret but rather he was exercising some prudence.

Klein and Cedric began to walk very very carefully, afraid to make noise. Klein felt like he was a thief in his own home.

After reaching the twins’ room, Klein knocked.

“Beel, Belphie, are you in there?”

But he received no reply. He tried again a second time and a third time, but seeing no answer, he turned to his butler and shook his head.

“Klein!!!”

As Klein was prepared to leave, he encountered Beel returning to his room from the kitchen.

“Beel, I-.”

“You came back. What a relief.” Before Klein could finish his sentence, Beel gave him a bear hug.

“I’m glad to see you too, Beel. But we need to talk.”

Beel released Klein and opened his door after saying “I see” and giving an understanding nod.

“Cedric, while I talk to my boys. Go make dinner.” Klein said and closed the door in Cedric’s face.

Ah, right, it would be awkward if I were to go in with him. Cedric told himself before walking to the kitchen.

“That is Cedric, my butler.” Klein introduced his steward first in an awkward tone of voice before telling his story of being an Evil Overlord.

“So you’re like Lord Diavolo.”

“Sorry, I don’t think I follow you.”

“I mean, you want to unite the Human Realm under your command, while Diavolo’s trying to make peace possible between the three realms. Although it looks like you two have nothing in common, both of you shares the stubbornness and willing to do anything to achieve your desired dream.”

“I see. I didn’t think about it before. Thanks Beel.”

“You’re welcome, Klein.”

“Anyway, I’m sorry, for deceiving you.”

“Apology accepted.”

“J-just like that?”

“Yes, I mean, Lucifer also hid Lilith’s fate from us for millennia because he thought it was better for him to shoulder the burden alone. I guess you must have thought it was better if you didn’t tell us your secret. Even though both sides are not pure and holy, it’s better that the two sides do not see each other’s ugliness, lest they hate each other for seeing things they don’t want to see. We should be the one to say sorry for making you feel uncomfortable to reveal your secret.”

“Oh, Beel. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Klein.”

Then the two kissed each other on the lips.

“The smell of blood on your mouth, Beel. You ate those corpses?”

“Yes, but don’t worry, I cleaned my mouth so you didn’t commit cannibalism.”

“I don’t do cannibalism. But a little blood smell wouldn’t hurt.” Klein smirked at he kissed the sixth born again. This kiss was more passionate.

“Alright. Beel, do you know where Belphie is?” Klein said after Beel was partially satisfied with the kisses he had been given.

“He’s on the attic.”

As expected. “Do I need to prepare for anything?”

“Don’t worry. Just go.”

Klein left the twins’ room and went to the stairs. Luckily, no Lucifer this time. Klein was saving the eldest for last as he didn’t want to face him now. He climbed the stairs and arrived at the attic.

Klein entered the attic and as expected, he found Belphegor sleeping alone on the bed.

“Belphie, I’m here.” Klein called as he came close to the bed.

However, what he didn’t expect was Belphie grabbing his hands, pulling him into a cuddle on the bed.

“Hey, Belphie, I’m-.”

“You don’t need to say sorry, Klein.”

“Huh?”

“I deceived you once too, remember? I even killed you…and “you”. So we’re even now.”

Belphie opened his purple eyes and looked at Klein before continuing.

“You know? I finally understand the pain of being betrayed when I saw the corpses and your butler in the hall. I thought you were only a lackey at most and I even hid the secret from my brothers for you. But turned out you were such a big shot. I’m very mad at first but then I had the thought that you must have suffered the same pain and anger when I betrayed you. I began to have the thought that your deceit was a payback for my own betrayal. So my rage slowly diminished.”

“Still, I’m sorry.”

“If you insist, give me a kiss.”

“I love you, Belphie.” Klein said as he placed a kiss on Belphie’s lips.

“One more.”

Klein kissed Belphie again, before asking. “Want to hear my story?”

“Yes, I’m really interested in how you torment those pathetic human.”

After Klein had finished his story, Belphie started to drift off to the dreamland.

“Klein, Beel and I were easy on you. After all, we weren’t tricked by you twice. But our older brothers wouldn’t be like that.” Belphie mumbled in his sleep.

“I know, Belphie.” Klein placed one last kiss on the seventh born’s cheek before leaving the attic.

Knock…knock…knock

“If you’re Klein the Big Meanie, then don’t ever thinking of coming in here again.”

“Please, Asmo, we need to talk.” Klein begged. “I know I hurt you and I’m sorry.”

Suddenly, the door swung opened and Klein was pulled inside. Lust shoved Klein on his bed and got on top of him. He noticed the fifth born was in his usual demon form, but with extremely long sharp nails.

“Klein, do you remember I once told you that I wanted to reach in, pull out your heart and tear it open to see what’s inside? Now I’m so mad that I’m considering doing that.” The Avatar of Lust said as his nails hovered above Klein’s chest, around his heart.

“What do you say, handsome? Consider your next words carefully because they may be your last.”

“Then do it. Tear it out and see the love I have for you inside.” Klein said as he grabbed Asmo’s hand and placed it on top of his heart.

Klein closed his eyes and awaited Asmo’s action. He didn’t want to die but appeasing the Avatar of Lust’s anger was now more important to him. If things went bad for his little heart, the Overlord still had a mechanical heart to replace it with.

Fortunately, Asmodeus didn’t harm Klein, not that he intended to. He loved Klein too much to do that. Lust placed his ear on Klein’s heart and began to listen to its beat.

Seeing Asmo appeased, Klein took the courage to place his hand on Asmo’s back, near his wings. Then he used the other hand to do the same, hugging Asmo in his arms.

“May I tell my story to you, my lovely Prince?”

Asmo nodded while still putting his ear on Klein’s heart. Lust began to hear the story of the Evil Overlord while observing that his heart beat faster with each word he spoke.

“Among the politicians I assassinated, there were Thomas Adams-.”

“Wait, what do you say, Thomas Adams?”

“Yes, what’s the matter?”

“He’s one of the big faces that my Lust demons were tempting back then. You assassination ruined our plan.”

“Oh, I didn’t know. I killed him because he was an obstacle to secret societies, like one that I lead. I’m sorry that I ruined your plan.”

“It’s alright. I forgive you for this one. You’re the only person I’m willing to give such treatment. If it had been anyone else, I would have been extremely mad and might have killed that person.”

“Then-.”

“Don’t be too greedy.” Lust placed his finger on Klein’s lips, shutting his mouth. “I only said I would forgive you that one case, not the whole deception.”

“Then what should I do to earn your forgiveness?”

“Hum, let me think. Let me paint your beautiful nails for at least a month.”

Klein didn’t want to have his nails painted. He loved them in their natural rose color. But he knew he didn’t have a choice here.

“Alright. But don’t choose a bright color, ok?”

“You got it.” Asmo leaned down and kissed Klein. First kisses all over his face before a more romantic, passionate one on his lips.

“Don’t expect me to be so forgiving if a third time happens.” Asmo whispered and breathed to Klein’s ear, sending a chill down the boy’s spine and made him blush at the same time.

Knock…knock…knock

Klein knocked on Wrath’s door while wondering if he should wear car ears to appease the demon but decided against it for a simple reason that he must say sorry sincerely and not exploiting the demon’s soft spot for cat, plus he didn’t have any cat ear on hand.

“Come in.”

Klein wasn’t sure that was Satan’s normal words or his words amidst growls.

Here goes nothing.

The moment Klein opened the door, he was pulled inside and the door was shut with a strong force. Wrath pushed Klein at the door, cornering the Overlord with a kabedon.

“I’m sure you’ve prepared yourself before coming in here.”

“Yes.” Klein said after having calmed down.

“Klein, it’s true that I have an unpleasant side that I hide from you. But when someone I care so much about did the same to me, it stings. And I’m very angry, no, madly furious.”

“Yeah, I have no defense for myself.”

“At least you know that you’re guilty. So being torn to pieces and eaten by lesser demons, or being thrown to Gehenna, what will it be, your execution?”

“Do whatever you want, but can I have my last words?”

“Say it.”

“I’m sorry. And I love you, Satan.” Klein’s hands reached out and caressed the fourth born’s face. And Wrath didn’t reject it.

“You will be the death of me, Klein.” Satan leaned down and kissed the Overlord on his lips. “I love you too.” Wrath said as their lips parted.

“Now tell me about that evil side of yours, don’t leave out any detail. I don’t want to hear second-hand information from my brothers.”

Knock…knock…knock

As expected, no answer.

I’m sorry, Levi. But I know this is the only way to talk with you. Klein turned the door knob but it was locked.

“Ephphatha!” Klein mumbled and the door was unlocked and opened by itself.

The moment Klein entered the Levi’s room, he was immediately thrown into an ocean.

What the hell?

Leviathan’s pact mark on Klein shined with a dark orange light. The pact’s power was automatically used to help the Overlord breathe underwater. However, Lotan soon appeared and coiled around Klein, strangling his whole body.

“Look who has decided to come back, it’s the backstabbing human.”

Envy appeared before Klein in his demon form, holding a knife in one of his hand.

“This mark, you don’t deserve to have it.” Levi put the knife near Klein’s orange pact mark, ready to cut into Klein’s flesh.

“Wait, Levi, hear me.” Klein knew he wasn’t facing the otaku he had been seeing all the time, so he had play his cards fast.

“You think you have the right to open your mouth.” Levi lifted Klein’s chin up. “Maybe I should cut off your tongue first. A proper punishment for a dishonest traitor.”

Levi forced Klein to open his mouth and moved the knife to his lips.

“Ready, here it comes.”

“Levi, I’m sorry I hurt you. And I love you more than I could describe.”

Levi stopped his track, and after a few seconds, the third born threw his knife. Lotan and the whole under the ocean scene disappeared, and Levi’s room returned to normal.

“I’m such a sad, gloomy, annoying, useless, socially awkward, gross, recluse otaku. I can’t even kill an evil backstabbing human traitor whom I thought was my friend.” Envy reverted back to his self deprecating self.

“Levi, that’s not true. Even if it’s true, I love you.” Klein walked to Levi and hugged him.

“Don’t touch me. This body is for 2D-.”

But Klein shushed Levi. “I know, this body is for me only. You tried to say otherwise, but you didn’t reject my hug.”

“Klein, how could you…?” Envy hugged Klein back and began to sob, saying things incompressible to normal ears. And Klein only knew how to say sorry, placing occasional kisses on Levi’s face.

After a whole 10 minutes, Levi finally recovered.

“If you want, I’ll tell you my story now.”

“Ok. But wait.”

Levi walked to his wardrobe and took out his Admiral uniform, much to Klein’s surprise and confusion.

“I’m going to most deserved attention. I’ll listen to your story while wearing this.”

Then Klein told Levi his story. When Klein told him about the robbing of the automaton parts on Hell Navy’s ship, Levi couldn’t help but yell “That was you?”

Knock…knock…knock

There was no answer again. Klein used the same “Ephphatha” spell to open the door, but Mammon wasn’t in his room.

Where could he be?

A light bulb appeared in Klein’s head as he headed back to his room. When the Overlord arrived near his room, he saw the door was being opened.

As Klein hurriedly ran inside his room, he found Mammon shoving his clothes into a suitcase.

“What are you doing?”

Mammon looked at him for a split second, before returning to what he was doing.

“Throwing the trash out.”

“But those are my clothes.”

“Clothes of someone who is not welcomed in this house are trashes. And I’m doing the the job of throwing them out.”

“Mammon, I’m sorry.”

Mammon turned to Klein and morphed into his demon form.

“The Great Mammon will have ya know that all of those who dare to cross me would meet a cruel ending. Ya crossed me once with Belphie, I forgave ya. It never crossed my mind that ya would have the audacity to cross me a second time.”

“Yes, there’s no defense for my action. But I do love you, my Lord of Wealth, and that was the reason why I didn’t want you to see the dark side of me.”

“I don’t have anything else to say to ya.” Mammon said and threw the suitcase at Klein. “Take this and leave. Remember, in 10 days, I would make your empire collapse. I will make you poor and destitute.”

“Do you really mean that?”

“Y-yes. Get out of my sight.”

“No. I won’t.” Klein dropped the suitcase and hugged Mammon.

“G-get off me.” Even though Mammon said so, his face blushed from Klein’s touch and he made no effort to push Klein away.

“Mammon, I know that being my first pact demon, this is harder for you to swallow this. I know I should have at least told you something. And I’m truly sorry. If you insist on chasing me out, I’m going to die of heartache before you have to chance to make me a beggar. Really, my little heart can’t take all the pain.”

“F-Fine. Tell me everything, don’t leave anything out. And remember, I won’t forgive you…I’ll never forgive you for eternity if this happens a third time, got it?”

“Yes, the Great Mammon, Lord of Wealth and of Worldly Possession.”

After the argument ended, Klein began to show his Overlord identity to Mammon. Amidst the story, sometimes Mammon shouted “Wait, you own that casino?”, much to Klein’s confusion, though he took it to heart and told himself to investigate it later.

“You are going to Lucifer next, right?”

“Yeah, I have talked with all the other, leaving only him.”

“Alright, knowing that Prideful Peacock, he’s probably going to get drunk himself with Demonus right now, thinking about you. Go save him.”

“Yeah, I will.” Klein said as he left his room.

However, one second later, Klein returned to the room.

“Sorry, forget something.”

Klein placed a kiss on the lips of Greed and then left, leaving the second born, whose face was as red as a tomato.

Klein looked at the window of the House, the Devildom’s sky had turned into a sunset-like night sky. He had spent nearly a day asking for forgiveness. Even though he didn’t eat lunch, Klein didn’t feel hungry at all, he knew he had one last thing to do before he could eat comfortably again, excluding the fact that Diavolo hadn’t decided his fate yet.

Should I walk inside his room on my knees? Klein had many ridiculous thoughts but decided to shove them aside.

“Come in, the door is not locked.”

Before Klein had the chance to knock on the door, he already heard Lucifer’s beckoning for him to come inside.

Klein summoned all his courage and walked in. Inside, Lucifer was holding a glass of Demonus, with a bottle of Demonus on the table. Aside from that, there were a lot of documents on the table, probably they were on the atrocities Klein had committed and Diavolo had decided to let Lucifer read it. The gramophone was playing some classical music that Klein had no knowledge of.

“Sit.”

Klein obeyed right away and sat opposite of Lucifer.

“Have you read them?” Klein pointed at the documents on the table.

“Not yet. I want to hear it from you.” Lucifer put the glass down and looked at Klein. His black crimson eyes looked like they were gonna see through Klein’s soul and eat it.

Klein gulped and he began to tell Lucifer all about his secret identity. Pride didn’t say a single thing during Klein’s story telling time. They say silent wrath is scary and now Klein was starting to feel it.

“Klein, I thought you were all holy and innocent, like what should have been based on your religious background.” The eldest began to spoke after Klein had finished his story. “The thought of you being evil did cross my mind many times, but I shoved them aside EVERY SINGLE TIME. And turned out my suspicious thoughts were right. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Do you know how much you wounded my Pride. I’m the Avatar of Pride, you literally mocked all what I’m representing.”

Lucifer turned into his demon form, and in a split second, he was right beside Klein. Pride grabbed Klein’s chin and caressed the Overlord’s lips with his thumb.

“I was so mad that I was only one thin line away from smashing everything in this room.” Lucifer said as he looked into Klein’s brown eyes, which were now lost in the beauty of his crimson eyes.

“Now tell me, why should I not suck your soul out of your corrupted flesh because I’m really tempted of doing that right now?”

“B-because…”

“Go on. Say it.”

“The mutual love between us.”

Right after those words, Klein reached out and kissed Lucifer. The kiss soon became more passionate and sensual.

“You are really a dare-devil, aren’t you, Klein? I could have sucked out your soul with that kiss.” Pride didn’t notice his cheeks had gone pink.

“Yeah. And I’m sorry for everything. At first, I thought the pure facade would help me stay out of trouble in the Devildom. It’s still true as a lot of demons stay far away from me for thinking I have holy water or blessed salt. After I truly became a part of this family, I really wanted to take that mask off, but that innocent image is already deeply engraved in your minds, and I was afraid you will think less of me or even hate me if I revealed my evil side to you.”

Lucifer had turned back to his human form and returned to his seat amidst Klein’s confession, without breaking eye contract with him.

“Klein, to tell the truth, I’m still mad, I really am.”

Wait, no forgiveness?

“But I’m willing to forgive you and give you another chance. I’ll have you know that you are the only person I, and my brothers also I assume, give such special treatment. Don’t mess with us a third time, treasure this chance.”

Klein didn’t anything, but only nodded.

“Um, you said earlier that you were still mad, what should I do to relieve that anger?”

“You should help me let it out, of course.”

Then Lucifer gave Klein the bedroom eyes that he knew very well.

“Ahem, let’s postpone that to tomorrow night. I want to eat something now, and I guess tonight everybody will want to cuddle with me.”

“Fine by me. But I have to warn you, since I already know your true identity, don’t expect me to go easy on you, like every other night.”

That very same night…

“Hey, do you think Klein’s still messing around with us.” Mammon asked.

Lucifer did not reply right away, he looked at the night sky for a while before answering.

“I have the same fear. But I choose to believe him. I don’t think the pain in his eyes I saw today is fake.”

“If you also have the same thought, I can rest assured.”

“What about the one I told you to spy on?”

“Ah him. Don’t worry, he’s leading us to the puppeteer behind him.”

Somewhere in Devildom…

The demon noble Val’gak was inside a ruin fortress, trying to find something…or wait for someone.

“I already told you not to find me during this important time.”

A person with red cloak appeared. None could see their face, but they spoke with a male voice.

“I’m sorry. I’m just worried that our plan may be off the track a little. Plus, you needn’t worry, even Barbatos can’t find me with his ability as I have an artifact made from the previous demon king’s horn with me.”

“Alright, what’s worrying you so much that you must find me at this time?” The person in red cloak asked.

“That brat of a prince is not doing what we expected, he’s being too lenient to that man-whore boy toy of the Avatars.”

“I don’t think that’s a worrying issue.” The person in red cloak said. “After all, the Prince has immense respect for this human exchange student. It’s not unthinkable for him to go lenient on him. The important part is that you must do your job, put a pressure on him, invite other nobles to join you.”

As the two were talking, a crow was looking at them from the windowsill of the ruined window. They were too busy to notice it.

The next day…

Diavolo summoned the eight residents of the House of Lamentation, plus Cedric, to the arena.

“Klein, I hope you have made peace with the Brothers.” Diavolo said.

“Yes, thank you for giving me the chance to do that, Diavolo.”

“Alright, let’s go to the main issue why I called you all out today. Klein, I want you swear allegiance to me. And yes, in case you’re wondering, it’s the same one Lucifer had sworn to me.”

“Eh, no way.”

“Diavolo, please don’t force Klein.”

“Lucifer, many nobles have asked me to execute Klein, saying that he will endanger Devildom. Even if he isn’t, he will attract other dangerous human like him to Devildom. This is an exchange to appease them. Plus, it’s not the first time a human swore loyalty to me. Many throughout centuries have done so in exchange for the power to create a vast empire.”

“Diavolo, I-.”

“Pffft…hahaha.” While the Brothers were worrying for Klein, the young man laughed hysterically like the whole thing was a joke.

“Klein, may I ask the reason why you’re laughing.” Diavolo looked at Klein and frowned. Even Barbatos beside him, who hadn’t spoken a word, also frowned.

“That’s because you can’t, Diavolo.” Klein said after he finished laughing.

To be continued

Tags. @sparkbeast20

[projectbluearcadia]

Everything's Fine, But That's Somehow Wrong

Lucifer: What? 

Solomon: Are you a succubus queen too? 

Lucifer: What? 

Satan: More like a drama queen. 

Solomon: Well, that's the only thing that explains it... You're the only one that activated magic. 

Annelie: Wouldn't the politically correct term be "incubus king?" 

Solomon pauses.

Solomon: Oh, you're right. That's a huge issue right now, isn't it? 

Annelie: Last time I talked to an incubus, yes. Pretty nice guy too once we got past that. 

Lucifer: When was this? 

Ah... I have a feeling I’m going to pay for that. 

Annelie: ...a while ago, don't worry about it. But anyway, doesn't this mean they're... Slaves to Lucifer now? 

Satan: HAAH!?

Solomon: Well, one way to find out. Lucifer, why don't you give them an order?

Lucifer: Around. 

Lucifer makes a gesture with his finger. 

Beel: ...isn't that the same command he uses when he's giving Cerberus treats? 

Levi: Couldn't you have given a cooler command?

Satan: I'm going to kill him. I'm going to fucking kill him.

Asmo: Satan, calm down, he doesn’t mean it! 

Mammon: For the last time, I ain't your dog!

Lucifer: Seems like your theory is wrong, Solomon. 

Solomon presses his knuckle to his chin. 

Solomon: Well, for the time being let's talk about this somewhere more comfortable. 

Annelie, Lucifer and Solomon head out first, and each of the boys gets out of the bath, drying themselves off. 

Mammon: Hey, Lord Diavolo... you have what we have, don’tcha? So... why were ya the only calm one when Annie came in? The second I smelled her, I was losing it. 

Diavolo pauses in the middle of drying his neck and turns his eyes towards the doorway. 

Diavolo: I wasn’t calm.

Levi: But it’s not like you lost control and... 

Levi’s face plumes beet red. 

Levi: How am I supposed to even talk to her now?! I’m such cringe!

Satan: I would have gone much more graphic than you if it had gone any further. Don’t worry about it. 

Satan pats Levi’s shoulder. 

Beel: You really weren’t calm, Lord Diavolo?

Diavolo: No, and I imagine that was the real reason Lucifer snapped. 

The brothers shift nervously. 

Diavolo: Still it seems as if we’re cured, so let’s not linger on that. Anne is an alarmingly forgiving person, so I don’t imagine she’ll hold it against you. 

They look at each other before they eventually change into dry clothing. 

[ meanwhile, in the common room ]

Solomon: Now then... this is incredibly fascinating. 

Annelie: What, me on Lucifer’s lap? Trust me, I’m here a lot. 

Lucifer squeezes her closer. 

Solomon: Not that; Asmo loves talking my ear off about you two. Although it is fascinating that he’s still clearly very wound up. 

Lucifer: I’m not wound up. 

Annelie: Lucifer, I said I’m usually in your lap, but you usually don’t do that in front of people. You’re being really jealous. 

Lucifer: You like it when I’m a little jealous. 

Lucifer glares at Solomon. 

Annelie: Well, maybe a little, but Sol is a friend? Sort of?

Solomon: Sort of? Hurtful. 

Annelie: Hey, I’m trying to keep Lucifer off your back. 

Lucifer: Why do you call him by a nickname and not me?

Annelie: Um... because you hate nicknames? Remember the last time I called you Luci?

Admittedly... I never did try “Luce”... maybe I could sprinkle that one in with his coffee tomorrow. 

Solomon: Interesting... 

Annelie: Sol, I swear to g—

Annelie bites her tongue as Lucifer’s grip tightens on her waist. 

Annelie: —oodness gracious if you’re trying to piss him off, I’m going to hurt you. 

Solomon: Ahaha I wouldn’t do that. No, seriously, I think he’d actually kill me. 

Solomon presses his palms together. 

Solomon: But back to the topic at hand, it’s fascinating that Lucifer forced the illness into dormancy. I know that it’s not Lucifer’s blood either, since I took some while he was lashing out at his brothers, and I looked at it on the way here. 

Annelie: Um... consent?

Lucifer: ...

Solomon: Don’t get so angry. It was just a little needle prick. But for Lucifer to essentially cure them without them being subject to his will... it would be a miracle solution. 

Annelie: But Lucifer’s clearly still out of it. 

Lucifer: I’m acting perfectly normally. 

Solomon: Actually... what happens if you give him an order, Anne? 

Annelie: Uh... Lucifer, would you... no, pose for a... an embarrassing picture by yourself, like one that Mammon would love to get his hands on. Right now.

Have to make up for that one he made me get rid of... god, I miss having that as my wallpaper.

Lucifer makes an annoyed sound and takes Annelie off his lap before he stands in front of her and makes two victory signs and points them at his face as he struggles to smile. 

Solomon: Tell him to turn towards m—

Annelie’s shutter clicks as her shoulders shake. 

Annelie: Sorry, this sight’s just for me.

Another shutter clicks from the side. 

Satan: Not anymore. Heh.

Annelie: ...

Lucifer: ...

[springbloomer]

*YAWNNN* 💤

(I HIT 100 FOLLOWERS THANK YOU?!?!?1//1?!) <3 <3 <3

Gif by me (i used: flipanim.com)

Gist: You show up in front of each brother in a very tired/ sleepy condition (for context it was either really late at night or super early in the morning) Also I guess this is a hundo followers special

Characters: Lucifer, Mammon, Levi, Satan, Asmo, Beel, Belphegor

Lucifer [in the kitchen to make more coffee~]

He’s surprised to see you up so early in the morning, knowing very well that you always end up oversleeping

*yawn* “Here’s the documents you tasked me to fill out..” In your hands was a thick stack of papers he gave you last night (and for some reason told you to finish it as soon as possible)

Shoot, now he’s guilty for making you do such a thing-

But of course, he wouldn’t let you know this, and lucky for him, your eyelids felt so heavy that you gave up on even trying to open your eyes

Another prolonged yawn escaped from your lips as you groggily walked around to find something to eat

Lucifer shook his head and sighed at your condition

He told you to go back to bed, but you were still so sleepy that you just blocked out all other sounds and ended up falling asleep to the coldness of the fridge~

As he tried to pull you away, you hung onto the refrigerator door and refused to get away from paradise (“lemme sleeeeeeeeep…”)

“Let go MC. We both know that his is no place to sleep.” “Don’t wanna!”

Meh, eventually you gave up and let him carry you, bridal style (sir i-)

He internally screamed seeing how cute you looked snuggling up to him, but still managed to carry you properly without loosing his composure

Unless he wanted you to snuggle up to him more, he's made the decision to never let you sacrifice any of your sleep over some documents

Mammon [he walks in on you in his room]

Who would've guessed? Because of his overflowing debts, Lucifer wasn't going to let it slide anymore

Pretty unbelievable, but the entire time, he's been hiding from his older brother's wrath and actually succeeding????

The determination this man has-

It was already 3 am when he finally had the chance to hide and lock himself in his own room to get away for the rest of the night (well, really early morning now)

Nearly screamed when he saw you in the center of some sort of circle of stacks of what looked like... his bills? It was 3 AM for crying out loud, what the heck were you doing?!?!?!?

"Oy! Whatchya doin' here, human?! And what're ya-" *yawn* "I couldn't sleep anyway, so I thought about helping you with your debt problems, and seriously..."

You didn't have the chance to finish your sentence when you started to drift off to sleep

Like it was already a regular reflex, Mammon caught you right before you fell on the papers you worked so hard on to organize

Got all flustered at your current state and kinda wanted you to stay like that forever

Nahhh, he had to make sure you'd at least be comfortable during your slumber, so he set you down on his bed and put away those debts...

You wouldn't have known till the moment you woke up that he clung onto you, listening to your steady breathing that lulled him to sleep

Leviathan [in his room, that otaku i swear-]

It was expected of the otaku to still be wide awake in the quietest of hours, and that's why you went to him

But what he didn't expect was the sudden drop of your weight on his back (bro was just chilling when you just dropped on him-)

FORTUNATELY HE HAD THOSE BLANKETS ON HIM TO KEEP HIM WARM

Still, that made him panic a bit, paused his anime and confront your very sleepy state

"H-henry?! Wh-what- why- how?!" He's a flustered mess now as he tried to pick you up without trying to make you feel uncomfortable in his arms

"H-heyyyy, I wanna sleep like this~" Really, with your back arched on blankets plus Levi under all those?

Um, he knew his bathtub-bed wouldn't be any better than that, so he made a mini-bed with those blankets and positioned it right next to his usual watching spot

The rest of the time, he's pretty much distracted by the fact that he gets to see you sleep right next to him of all people!

Satan [in the libr- I mean his room]

He was on his usual read-till-the-crack-of-dawn-literally when he heard a pile of his precious books fall

His first instinct was to go all out, transforming into his demon form and torturing whoever interrupted his session (and make his precious collection fall)

"If you thought you could sneak around and take my books for selling Mammon, then you're DEAD wrong." (the man's pissed...)

Satan actually did transform in his demon form out of annoyance, only to find you yawning and hanging upside down when he snatched the culprit using his tail

He's honestly surprised and wondered what business you had with him at such an hour (quick time check, it was 3:03 am)

"I was getting pretty lonely in my room, decided to crash at yours..."

This wasn't a problem at all to him; he likes it when you come to him for help, comfort, or just for company

Too bad he his bed wasn't for people anymore, there were mountains of books piled on top of it-

That's when a sly grin crept on Satan's face

You ended up falling asleep on his lap, your head resting against his chest while he continued to read a few more chapters of his current book (he even gave you a small peck on your forehead awww)

Asmodeus [up for his looooong morning routine]

You were lucky that Asmo was already done with the face mask part of his routine, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to hold in your laughs, despite how sleepy you still were

Like the only decent person in the house, you knocked on his door before landing face-first into his soft, silky bed

“Oh my, MC! What are you doing up so early in the morning, dear? And on my bed on top of that~”

“So soooooooooft~” was your only reply. Seriously, how come Asmo has the comfiest bed in Devildom?!?!??

It took him a little while, but when he finally did, he decided to join you only for a couple of minutes (he had to get back on schedule for his routine after)

Also, a suuuuuper soft bed plus the touch and feel of Asmo’s extremely soft skin? Boy, have you ascended to heaven already?

It made you snuggle up to him even more, which honestly he had hoped (and pretty much expected) would happen

He secretly took pictures of you sleeping on his bed and thought that they were absolutely adorable

Beelzebub [in the kitchen, where else?]

You planned to get up extra early because of some schoolwork you said you’d finish last night and ended up sleeping on it

But before you dove into that, some coffee would really be helpful to kickstart your brain

With that said, you’ve made your way to the kitchen when surprise! You caught Beel in his morning raid. again.

Well, it was expected from the Avatar of Gluttony and his bottomless pit of a stomach together with the raging appetite

Quietly making your way around to not disturb his round, you grabbed a whatever clean mug there was and turned on the kettle

Too bad that he’s heard your extended yawn and greeted you with his mouth filled. “Goagh mortfning MC.” *proceeds to snarf down the remaining food left*

*yawnnnnn* “Morning Beel…” You greet him back with closed eyes

Both of you began some small conversation until you began to nod off unintentionally (amazing how you can sleep while standing up for a few seconds-)

Your legs gave away though, but Beel easily caught you in his arms

Poor guy didn’t know what to do first. Help finish your coffee or carry you to bed?

It was too early for him to be making such conflicting decisions, so he ended up doing both; carrying you back to your room with one arm and holding your mug on the other

Gently placed you back to your bed and mug on the nightstand right next to you

His man is such a cinnamon roll, he’d make sure that you were comfortable in your sleep. I’m talking about this guy plumping up your pillows, pulling that blanket over you and putting up a “I’m still asleep so please don’t disturb” sign outside of your door

He tried very hard, but he still sneaked a few sips of your coffee before quietly leaving your room

Belphegor [on the roof of HOL]

You’ve tried your best, but no matter how much, you couldn’t get away from the heat of your room, preventing you from falling asleep

Hours later… you were still staring at the same wall with no chance of sleeping at this rate

You’ve tried your best, but no matter how much, you couldn’t get away from the heat of your room

It was preventing you from falling asleep

Hours later… you were still staring at the same wall with no chance of sleeping at this rate

Until an idea reached in your head: if anyone would help you instantly get back to sleep because of his cuddles, it’d be the one and only Belphegor

Plus you just HAD to leave your room of a microwave, so a win-win

First you checked the attic, the very familiar room that you knew Belphie would take his naps on most days. It was empty

Next you checked the twins’ room, slowly peeking inside to not disturb any of them. Not even Beel was in there (he’s busy it’s that fridge-)

Where else could this demon be? That’s when it hit you: he did mention once that he liked to gaze at the stars on the rooftop of the House of Lamentation

The cold night breeze was like some sleeping powder to you; the moment you felt it your eyelids starting drooping

“Couldn’t sleep?” His voice reached you as he guided you to his usual spot and cuddling close to you

Only then you realized how tired you were; so tired that you had no strength to respond with words and just nodded

Luckily, at that very moment, everything helped you doze off. Belphie’s pillow and his steady breathing, the star-lit night sky, the cool breeze.

I freaking need a Belphie to spoon me like this please

The two of you had the best sleep in the entire three realms, holding each other and never wanting to ever let go.

[moemoemammon]

yay! requests are open! y'know that thing where the s/o being so weak for their partner? I wanted to request the demon bros being weak for their s/o? does that make sense?

like, for example, MC would pout a little, and say 'pwease 🥺' and the demon bros would be like, 'yes, go on, what do you want from me? would you like my-' they'd just be so weak for mc.

I hope that makes sense! also, if it's too much characters, you can just do mammon and satan :) thank you ;3

Their One Weakness: MC!

(Feat. GN!MC and the Demon Bros)

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

Lucifer

Lucifer is known as the cruel eldest of the brothers. A sadist whose word is law, whose will can only be bent by Lord Diavolo himself. And yet since you came to the Devildom, all you ever seemed to do was the opposite of what he asked. Yet he still came to love you. He wonders if he spoils you too much...

Especially when you always seem to get your way one way or another. When you proposed the chaotic idea of a massive get together between the House of Lamentation and Purgatory Hall, Lucifer immediately said no. It’d be way too noisy and he had things to do.

But THEN... You fixed him with those damn EYES of yours.... The big eyes filled with sparkles and hopes that pleaded to him.... stop staring at him with them big ol eyes-

Lucifer REFUSES to acknowledge how cute you are when you look at him like that. Well, verbally anyway. You look like a kicked puppy...and he loves puppies...

"............I suppose if we prepare right now and get a dinner menu ready, it could be possible. And if you pout any harder you might pull a muscle, and I doubt I could explain that to Lord Diavolo. Now, go tell the others what you have planned."

Mammon

Mammon is practically the biggest MC simp in the world. You always occupy his thoughts any time of the day. 'Oh, MC would probably like one of these'. 'MC's always eatin' this for lunch. I'll grab one.' 'This would be way less borin' if MC were around...'

But as the Tsundere 🤢 king of the Devildom, there's no way he'll admit to any of that! So what if he's head over heels for you?! That doesn't mean he's gonna be all weak in the knees the moment you-

Wait, you're saying that because he lost a bet yesterday and promised he'd take you out to Ristorante Six and pay for the whole thing, now he's gotta pay up?!?! No way! He doesn't remember what you're talking about, and that voice recording you've got on your phone is clearly fake!

Mammon's dead set on weaseling out of his promise, until you freeze him in place with your pouty face... then you hit him with a "please..?" and the Avatar of Greed swears he might die right then and there.

"Tch..! Damn it, I ain't got a choice when ya look at me like that!!! What're ya playin' at, pulling' my heartstrings like that?! Hurry up and get dressed so we can go! A-and ya better eat your fill, too!"

Levi

The founder of the top secret MC Cult Fanclub, there's not much that could keep Levi from becoming putty in your hands. He's used to idolizing the objects of his affection, and you're no exception!

So when it comes to bending to your will, he's definitely the easiest. Except when it comes to n-...normie stuff...

Seriously, do you think someone like HIM should be going to The Fall?!?! No way! Not in a million, billion, trillion years!!!! You shouldn't get him to go to that crowded club even if you dragged him there!!!

Then... you hit him with the cute act... You declare your loyalty to him as his beloved Henry, fixing him with a pleading look that shoots him straight through the heart, and... GAH, HE'S GOT NO CHOICE!!!!!

"At... at least help me choose something to wear..! I don't know how I'm supposed to dress for normie stuff like this!!! Aaah... I wanna stay home, b-but when you say something like that, I just can't win-!"

Satan

Satan openly admits to how he likes to spoil you. It's cute seeing how big your grin becomes when he gives you something you wanted, and how happy you are when he takes you out for the evening.

But there are some things even he doesn't want to do, like when you suggest going to a chess tournament with Lucifer. You've been pressured by Lucifer wanting to attend, but figured it'd be easier to sit through with someone else. So why not Satan, who'd mentioned liking chess?

Yeah... he'd go if Lucifer weren't involved. As much as he'd love to go and pull some strings to ruin the match for the dear eldest, he's got something else planned involving a well timed glue bomb and Lucifer's study. So he'll pass.

Or so he thought, until you started poking your fingers together and mentioned how you'd hoped you could both enjoy it together. Kind of like a date..? Gah, his heart and its weakness for unconventional dates-!!!!

"...I... suppose I could go. It’d be nice to study how Lucifer plays, so I can finally beat him. Don't you think the look on his face will be priceless? And if you're there as well, I'll be able to stomach watching his face for an hour."

Asmo

Asmo LOVES you more than aaanyone!! There's no one who loves you more, you know? Why, he wants to involve you in every aspect of his life, and actively tries to do just that! He's even tried dragging you into the tub with him a few times...

And when it comes to spoiling you, he loves it! He's always the one being spoiled, so it makes him giddy when he can give a little back. If there's anything you want from him, just tell him and he'll make it happen!

Eh? You want to play fangol? With HIM?? Um... pass. You know he just got his nails done, right? Asmo's not really a fan of running around with a ball and getting knocked to the ground, so... no thanks! ❤️

Wait, don't make that face! What're you looking so glum for?? He'll kiss your sadness away, and- Eh?! You don't want a kiss?? You really wanna play THAT badly?????

"....You really don't have me mistaken for Beel, right..? You really want to play with ME? ...Haaaah, fine! I'll play one game with you, and in exchange, you have to spend all of tomorrow with moi! Sounds good, right~? Now let me see if Satan will let me borrow some of his clothes...urgh..."

Beel

As a 'go with the flow' guy, there's not much Beel won't do with you, even if it's not really something he's interested in. As long as he has you around and a surplus of snacks, he's fine with anything.

Until you suggest going to Majolish to try on some stylish outfits. You mention how Beel wears variations of the same thing all the time, so it's time for an update! He thinks you're spending too much time with Asmo...

Beel isn't really into tight, itchy, stiff fabrics like the 'stylish' things they sell at Majolish, and decides he'd much rather go to Hell's Kitchen instead. He's hungry. Are you hungry?

'Stop changing the subject'? Ah.. damn it 😔 Wait, now you're saying you just wanted to buy fancy outfits because you were planning to take him to Ristorante Six?! You can't tell if he's blushing over your consideration or the idea of food, but now Beel's looking through the clothes with earnest.

"I didn't know you were the winner of that 'all you can eat' coupon lottery. When I didn't win I was pretty upset, but I'm glad to know it was you. Even if these clothes are weird, I'll wear them. Can you pick something good for me?"

Belphie

Belphie likes to spoil you in more subtle ways, instead of simping as hard as his brothers. He's still as much of a sucker for you as they are though, much to his dismay. All you have to do is smile and you've got him wrapped around your gross human finger.

But when you mention wanting to go biking with Lord Diavolo and wanting him to come along, Belphie suddenly discovers that his ears don't work anymore. Anyway, goodnight-

Hey, stop poking him like that. Can't you see an deaf man is trying to sleep here?? And what's with that face..? You're pouting so hard you look like you're going to explode. It's cute, but Belphie can close his eyes an not see it.

But then you scoot into bed with him and hold him from behind, and the sleepy demon starts feeling his resolve crumble. You have some dirty tactics, huh..? Getting all cozy with him just because he's got a soft spot for you...

"...............Why Diavolo of all people..? I'd prefer anyone over him. Ugh... Hey, they still rent out those two person bikes, don't they? I'll only go if I can ride on that with you. I'll sit right behind you and cheer you on, okay? ..What's with that look? I'm joking...maybe."

[7fckingidiots]

can u pls do what the demon bros would do if m/c wrapped themself in a blankie cocoon and just sat on the demon bros' laps like "i sleep here now goodnight."

with each post i write...lucifer becomes softer.....i am so sorry obey me fandom i am weak for him

MC Wrapping Themselves Up In A Blanket Cocoon

Lucifer

was in his office when you came into suddenly holding his entire comforter

wants to question you but before he can you just?? sit in his lap? effectively blocking his view from his desk and literally anything other than you

“MC wha-?”

“Sleep.”

“MC i’m still working...”

“Ok. I’m gonna sleep here now. Night.”

you don’t leave him any room to protest as you wrap the blanket tighter around yourself and close your eyes

he goes still not wanting to wake you

well...technically he can’t do his work like this anyways

wraps his arms around your blanketed form and lays his head against you willing no one to come into his office and see him like this

surprise! mammon does!

bigger surprise! mammon is now hung up in the hallway and you two are asleep in his room

Mammon

doesn’t even recognize you at first because you’ve wrapped yourself in all three of his blankets

he gets COLD leave him alone

thinks you look ridiculous and doesn’t hold back on teasing you

“MC what the hell are ya doing?”

You walk over to Mammon and lean against him. “Sleep. I’m...gonna sleep here now.”

Oh god he’s soft for you

Wants to hold you but his IMAGE!!! Mammon please you have no image

Your weight with the blankets eventually toppled him onto the couch

Welp, guess he’s sleeping now

“C’mon MC, open up! I need some of the blankets too.”

Levi

he’d heard you taking out the blankets from his bath tub but didn’t mind

but then you sat in his lap while he was in the middle of a game and he could barely see the monitor

Tries to adjust slightly because he doesn’t want to bother you but.......Dude......HIS GAME

“Um, uh...MC?”

“Hm?”

“Could you just move down a little more? Please?”

“Mhm. Ok, I sleep here now. Goodnight.”

now his arms are stiff bc he doesn’t want to lay them on you djdjjdjd

highkey likes sitting with you in comfortable silence! there’s no pressure to talk he loves it

makes the mistake of looking at your sleeping face mid level and loses bc oh god......MC cute what the hell

then he realizes your passed out in his lap and jumps waking you up

HE JUST COULDNT BELIEVE IT LEAVE HIM ALONE HES A SWEETHEART

Satan

was reading and saw how tired you looked when you entered his room

watched as you cocooned yourself in his blankets and moved over to him

laughs a little as you sit on top of him, putting his book down

“Comfy?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna sleep here now.”

“Of course my love, want me to read to you as well?”

“Yes please!”

i am so goddam soft for satan u will never understand

reads to you and strokes your hair at the same time so you never even had a chance of actually staying awake

he really loves the fact that you sought him out for comfort it makes him fall a little more in love with you

he still reads out loud even after he knows your asleep

when he finally reaches a nice stopping point, he places down his book and shifts so that you lay on top him

“Goodnight dearest.” He tells you while kissing your forehead.

Asmo

Finds you wrapped up in his blanket upon entering his room

is happy too see you and giggles when you make grabby hands at him

he complies, of course

“Now now, what are you doing here before me, my pet?”

You nuzzle into him. “Was tired. Missed you. I’m gonna sleep now.”

his arms immediately wrap around you tighter and he’s fight back the urge to cover your face in kisses right now

that was so cute to him what the hell

he lays down with you and waits for your breathing to even out so he can finally go and do his nightly routine

practically runs to get back to you because he misses you already

he and his room would always be open to you for whatever you needed

Beel

was raiding the kitchen when he felt your sleepy form lean into him

is confused because you don’t wrap your arms around him but when he turns around he finally understands why

your wrapped in a blanket two times your size and your eyes are barely awake

wraps his arms around you and picks you up immediately, swearing to himself he’d never let you down again

“You didn’t have to come get me MC, I was gonna come back to you.”

You nod into him. “I know...just...don’t like sleeping without you.”

ah! you’ve done it! he’s in love with you and would literally play fetch for you if you asked ok he’s in so DEEP

kisses the side of your head and the hunger he usually felt subsides, his heart suddenly racing

you made him feel wanted, and he could never thank you enough for that

“I’m gonna sleep here...is that ok?” you murmur to him, already half asleep on his shoulder.

“Of course...thank you.”

Belphie

he sleeps with so many different blankets you are NOT wrapping yourself up in all of them

so you settle for his favorite which causes him to find you first instead of you seeking him out

looks angry, he is NOT

you’re so...small like that...oh.....

this loser won’t say that tho. hey kids. BE UPFRONT WITH YOUR FEELINGS UNLIKE THIS BASTARD

groans as he pulls you into him

“I can’t believe you took my favorite one, if you wanted attention just ask.” he grumbles into your shoulder. You sigh into him, finally content and ready to sleep.

“I’m gonna sleep here now. Night Belphie.”

Yelps as you pull him to the floor.

i mean. it’s not like it’s the first time he’s slept on the floor

as soon as your eyes are closed he drops the annoyed act and brushes any hair out of your face

oh he was so WHIPPED for you and he knew it even though he’d deny it

starts whispering compliments to you and giving you light kisses

“I’m still awake Belphie.”

“No.”

“Love you too.”

[absolutepokemontrash]

MC is Half Demon and They Look Awfully Familiar Lesson 16

Masterlist

Previous part

It’s finally here! The long awaited Lesson 16! Please enjoy, my lovelies!

MC had gone back in time, they didn’t think their year as an exchange student would end up like this, but yet, there they were. They sprinted up the stairs to the attic and burst through the door.

Their heart was in their throat as they made their way down the hallway and peaked through the door.

“MC?”

Belphegor, safe and sound, got up from the bed and rubbed his eyes. “What are you doing? What’s wrong?”

“A lot of stuff… um…” MC tapped their foot and shifted anxiously. “I’m going to get you out of here, okay?”

“Right now?”

“Right now.”

MC slammed their palm into the door and slowly wrapped their fingers around the bars as they felt the remnants of Lucifer’s spell coil its way up their arm. The spell had weakened with time, and Lucifer must have neglected to reinforce it.

They gritted their teeth and countered with their own magic, but MC could feel their strength being drained. Their vision blurred ever so slightly as something else countered Lucifer’s magic. It was warm and calming, as if someone had pressed a kiss to MC’s forehead and told them everything was going to be okay.

The door let out a metallic screech as it wrestled against the spell, begging to be opened. Until finally, blue sparks erupted from the door and slowly fizzled out. The door slowly creaked open as the warm energy faded.

Belphie took a tentative step forward, when met with no resistance, he stepped into the hallway. Free at last.

MC stood in silence, fatigue washing over them. That was… exhausting.

“You did it.” Belphie beamed at MC, who looked up and returned the smile.

“I… I did!” MC squeaked, looking at the broken attic door in wonder.

Belphie laughed at their starry eyed expression and held out his arms for a hug. “Nice job, MC.”

MC threw themselves into his arms and let out a laugh of pure joy at their achievement. They had broken a spell put down by their father. They had done it! All by themselves! He was going to be so proud of them! Well, after Belphie and him made up of course.

“You know,” Belphie whispered as he wrapped his arms around MC. “I wonder how long it’s been…”

“Hm?” MC felt Belphie shift slightly in their arms, a new material rested against their face. MC opened their eyes and looked up.

“How many thousands of years it’s been since I’ve held something so human in my arms.”

Belphegor was in his demon form, curved horns jutting out of the side of his head, a tail lazily swishing behind him. He smiled as he looked down at MC.

“What are you-”

MC was cut off by a hand wrapping around their throat as they were yanked upwards. They let out a scream as they immediately shifted into their own demon form, their wings flapping, desperately trying to push Belphegor back.

MC’s hands clawed at the hand wrapped around their neck and slammed their feet into his chest. Their escape attempts were put to a halt as Belphegor slammed MC into the hallway wall, painfully pinning MC’s frantically flapping wings.

Their vision swam as the base of their skull connected with the wall, their ears rang and tears began to prick at the corners of their eyes. Thinking fast, MC tried to sink their rapidly sharpening teeth into Belphegor’s arm but his grip on their neck was holding their head straight.

They were going to die-

They were going to die-

They didn’t want to die-

They couldn’t just die like this!

——

Belphegor almost rolled his eyes as he watched MC panic and thrash. He could feel their pulse race beneath his fingers.

A demon’s life or death adrenaline kicking in was no joke, Belphegor knew that. But this kid- this little brat wasn’t even a full demon.

Belphie’s face contorted into a scowl as he let his magic seep through his hands, he soon felt MC’s pulse slow and clarity return to their vision.

——

MC’s kicks and scratches slowed and black spots danced across their vision as their gaze settled on Belphegor.

Every ounce of energy that MC could have mustered was sapped out of them, every single breath they managed to choke out took a massive amount of effort.

“There we go,” Belphegor smiled, his head lolling to the side. “Was that so hard, MC?”

MC let out a low growl, then a whimper when the grip on their throat tightened.

“Now now,” Belphegor sighed. “You’re in no position to get snappy with me, are you?”

MC didn’t respond.

“You know, half breed? If you’re tricked by a demon, you truly have your own stupidity and naivety to blame.” Belphegor continued. “You wouldn’t understand that, would you? You’re half human. Humans are notoriously easy to trick.”

MC gripped the hand holding their neck even tighter, digging their nails into his wrist.

“It’s pathetic, that’s what it is. Are you even Lucifer’s child? Your wings say so, but your ability to fight back leaves something to be desired.”

The insult caused MC to slam their foot into Belphegor’s ribcage, he grimaced, but his grip held firm.

“It’s just so ridiculously pitiful, MC.” Belphie said. “Any real demon would be able to fight back from this easy peasy.”

Belphegor snickered and used his free hand to rub the remaining sleep from his eyes. He was barely half awake and MC was still completely at his mercy.

“So sad… sad indeed.”

“Wh-why?” MC barely managed to whisper, Belphie rolled his eyes.

“I swear, does anyone in this house tell you anything?” Belphie sneered. “I. Hate. Humans. Simple as that. And look at you, the half human kid of the brother that locked me up here, you’ll have to forgive me for being a little upset, MC.”

“Let’s see now,” Belphegor cooed, bringing his face slightly closer. “Does your pride match up to your dear dad’s? Are you willing to beg for your life? If you do it well enough, I might be tempted to let you live.”

The grip around their neck relaxed slightly, MC gasped for air, taking a few deep breaths. Belphegor raised an eyebrow.

“I’m waiting.”

The silence hung in the air, the back of MC’s head throbbed in pain as they tried to focus their gaze to Belphegor’s. They’d say what they were going to say next looking him in the eyes. The child’s black and red eyes slowly narrowed into an icy glare.

“Death first.” MC snarled.

Belphegor’s hand tightened around their neck so much that MC couldn’t even scream, their hands fell to their sides and their kicks slowly subsided. As their vision began to fade, they almost laughed despite themselves.

It seemed they really were their father’s child.

——

“Death first.”

Belphegor tightened his grip and felt MC’s throat practically crumple and fall apart in his grasp.

Even when faced with death they refused to grovel. Belphegor let out a soft laugh. They really were Lucifer’s child!

That look of pure disdain, that refusal to just give up and beg, all Lucifer.

They really were… Lucifer’s…

Belphie snarled and slammed MC’s unconscious form into the wall again, trying to ignore the feeling that twisted his gut.

“I hate you…” he whispered.

“I hate you… I hate you!” Belphie repeated, not daring to look up. “I hate you I hate you I hate you!”

Belphie’s hand slowly slipped from MC’s neck and they crumpled to the floor. his arm fell limp at his side as he caught his breath.

There was no way the kid could have survived that, and yet, Belphie heard breathing. Quiet, shuddering breaths.

He dragged his eyes to look at MC. Their demon form really did look like his brother’s. MC’s horns hadn’t fully grown in yet, but they were just beginning to curve upwards, one a little more than the other. Everything from their wings to the diamond shaped mark on the centre of their forehead, was all Lucifer.

The brother that all of them had once looked up to, the brother that took care of them, the brother that declared war on everything he had known for their sister.

…but MC wasn’t Lucifer, were they? No. No they weren’t. They weren’t the human that Lilith had fallen in love with either, they weren’t the reason for the war.

They were the only person that reached out to help Belphie, the person who went up to visit him, they were someone who saw him as family.

“What did you do?” An all too impossibly familiar voice whispered. “Belphie, what did you do?!”

He felt his throat tighten. A DDD buzzed nearby, it was lying face down a little farther down the hallway. In an almost hypnotic state, Belphegor walked over and picked it up.

Two texts greeted him.

Father: I’ll be home in five minutes.

Father: The student council meeting ran late.

The text wasn’t what caught his attention, it was the picture on the lock screen. It was a picture of MC, Levi, Mammon, and Beel. MC was on Beel’s shoulders and Levi and Mammon were shoving each other around behind them. Mammon looked to be having more fun than Levi, who had just noticed his picture was being taken and looked completely terrified. Beel was eating a bag of chips and MC was in the middle of reaching into the bag to grab a handful, they were looking into the camera like they had just noticed the person taking the picture.

They were walking back from… something. Half of Mammon’s face was covered in RAD’s school colours, and Levi was holding a few poster boards that were also in the school’s colours. MC was wearing one of Beel’s helmets, even though it was way too big on them.

Ah, Belphie knew what they were doing. They were heading home from one of Beel’s games.

Belphie’s eyes were glued to MC and Beel. Beel was… smiling. He was happy. He didn’t notice his picture was being taken and he was looking slightly off-camera. One of his arms was holding one of MC’s legs in place so they wouldn’t topple backwards.

Belphegor felt the DDD slip out of his hands and clatter to the floor, he walked back over to MC. They were still breathing, and Belphie blinked a few times to make sure he was seeing right. The tiny cuts from his claws had completely healed over, and the swelling around MC’s neck had slightly lessened. They were being healed…

He kneeled down next to them and reached out to touch their head, he hesitated for a brief moment before letting his hand rest on their hair. A softer magic ran through his hands, MC’s breathing became less laborious and their throat slowly began to fix itself.

Belphie suppressed a yawn at the exertion, he picked MC up and carried them downstairs. They were still completely unconscious. That was good, Belphie heard that humans healed faster in their sleep anyway.

He set them down gently on one of the living room couches and walked back upstairs. Even as he lay back down in his bed, Belphie still couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched.

——

Lucifer dragged Mammon and Levi up the stairs to the House of Lamentation by their ears, Satan, Asmo, and Beel trailing behind him.

“You both are so lucky Lord Diavolo wasn’t upset.” Lucifer growled.

Levi was in his admiral’s uniform, but it was so wrinkled and smelly that anyone could tell it had been lying at the back of his closet. Mammon was still in his school uniform and was trying to wiggle out of the ear-hold.

“C-come on Lucifer! Ya gotta understand, I can’t get hung from the ceiling today, I have a modelling gig!” Mammon pleaded.

“Y-yeah! There’s a rerun of I Can’t Believe My Girlfriend’s Secretly Been Royalty-eeeeow!” Levi screeched and tried in vain to remove Lucifer’s hand from his ear.

Lucifer rolled his eyes. “You two should have thought about that before you and Levi decided it would be a good idea to get into a fight in front of Diavolo and Barbatos.”

“What a functional family we have.” Satan drawled.

Mammon and Levi’s pleas for mercy quieted when everyone stepped into the house, something was… wrong. Very very wrong.

“MC?” Lucifer called out. No reply. He let go of Mammon and Levi.

“Blood…”

Lucifer turned to look at Beel, who had his nose in the air. “What was that, Beel?”

“Smells like blood.”

Everyone stood motionless for a few moments as what Beel said began to sink in. Mammon was the first to break the silence.

“Shit, MC!” He shouted, rushing towards the dining hall.

“MC? MC come on,” Asmo sped towards the bedrooms. “If this is some kind of joke it isn’t funny!”

“M-maybe they’re in the backyard! I’ll check…” Levi ran to the back door of the house.

Satan and Beel went in the direction of the library while Lucifer stalked towards the living room.

If MC was playing some kind of joke on him, he’d wring their neck.

He entered the living room and breathed an immediate sigh of relief upon seeing MC lying on one of the couches, sleeping soundly. They were just napping…

Lucifer’s lips quirked upwards into a fond smile as he ruffled his sleeping child’s hair, then paused upon seeing the rusty substance that now coated his glove. Mostly dried blood.

“MC..?” He whispered, sitting down on the couch and pulling them towards him. “MC?”

When MC didn’t respond, Lucifer’s heart began to race in his chest.

No.

No.

Not again.

Not like Lilith…

“MC, wake up,” Lucifer said in a more commanding tone. “You’re okay, wake up, right now!”

They didn’t stir, they just lay there. Their breathing and his own thundering heartbeat was all Lucifer could hear.

A shriek from Asmodeus brought him back to reality as Lucifer slowly rocked MC back and forth, muttering the names of spells as he tried to use his magic to heal them.

“What happened?!” Asmo rushed forward, hands already glowing white with magic.

Lucifer couldn’t give an answer nor could he look away from MC as Asmodeus ran a glowing hand along their head.

Asmo snapped his hand back towards him like something had burned him, he looked up at Lucifer with a look of pure confusion. “L-Lucifer… do you know whose magical signature that is..?”

“H-huh?! MC?!” Mammon, followed by Satan, Beel, and Levi rushed to MC’s side. The chorus of questions and shock were of no interest to Lucifer, he continued to cradle MC in his lap.

“Lucifer!” Asmo tried to get his attention again, he growled and whipped his head around to his other brothers. “ALL OF YOU, QUIET!”

Such a sharp snarl from Asmo of all demons immediately quieted them down as Asmo turned back to look at Lucifer. “It’s Belphie. That’s Belphie’s magical signature. I’d bet my life on it.”

Lucifer felt his blood run cold, his grip on MC tightened as he pulled them closer to him.

“Belphie is up in the human world, Asmo!” Satan snapped. “How the hell could he have done this?!”

“I don’t know!” Asmo retorted. “But I’m not lying, that’s Belphie’s magic!”

Belphegor got out of the attic.

Belphegor hurt MC.

Lucifer gently set MC back down on the couch, in a matter of seconds his true form was revealed.

“L-Lucifer…” Mammon whispered.

Watch them.” Lucifer growled. He turned and stalked down the hallway towards the attic.

When he burst through the door to the attic staircase the first thing that hit him was the residual magic energy that practically coated the room. His spell keeping his brothers from being able to enter the attic, the spell that hid Belphie from view if they somehow managed to bypass the first spell, and finally most hauntingly, was the spell that kept Belphie sealed in the attic. All of them were dispelled by a counter spell from an all too familiar magic signature.

MC broke the spells.

Lucifer stormed up the stairs and down the hall to where Belphie was supposed to be, the stench of magic and blood got even stronger as he approached the open door.

He stood in the doorway, Belphie was sitting on the bed, hugging his knees, he looked over at Lucifer. The two stared each other down, Belphie’s expression held no malice or anger, it was glassy and far off, like he wasn’t even there. Belphegor wasn’t close enough to see, but Lucifer’s pupils had retracted and stretched.

“Lucifer.”

“What have you done?”

There was no triumph or glee in Belphegor’s voice, it was hollow and empty.

“I ruined the exchange program like I said I would.”

—————

MC’s eyes fluttered open, they expected to wake up to the sound of their DDD alarm buzzing and telling them to wake up for school, but the intense soreness of their neck snapped them back to reality. They were in their father’s room, lying on his bed.

“Ah!” MC rasped, a hand flying to their neck to pull off the hand that was just wrapped around it.

Their thoughts raced. Why were they here? Where was Belphegor? Why weren’t they dead?!

“MC..?”

MC lurched upwards whipped their head back and forth to find the source of the voice. They didn’t have to look very far, Lucifer was sitting next to them with a clipboard and notebook on his lap.

“D-dad?” MC felt tears prick at their eyes, the events of the day crashing down on them all at once. They let out a sob and buried their head in Lucifer’s chest.

Lucifer held MC close, If he wasn’t a demon, the grip MC had on him would have crushed him.

“Sh, it’s okay, you’re okay. You’re safe now.” It sounded to MC like Lucifer was trying to reassure himself as much as he was trying to reassure them.

It hurt to cry, every sound and heavy gulp of air made MC’s neck and ribs throb with pain, every tiny movement of their arms made them want to cry even harder. The only silver lining was that it was less of a sharp recent pain and more of a reminder of a much older injury. The sped up healing courtesy of multiple spells must have aided in that regard.

“I’m sorry…” They whimpered, choking out another sob. “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry…”

“MC, what on earth are you sorry for?”

MC sniffled before explaining. “I… I-I let him out of the attic… I didn’t listen when you said not to go up there…he said he wanted t-to fix everything… I just wanted to h-help…”

Lucifer hugged them tighter, it hurt a little, but MC didn’t care.

“I’m sorry…” MC whimpered again. “I’m so so sorry…”

“Shh,” Lucifer whispered. “It’s not your fault. I should have been there. I should have…”

Lucifer trailed off and the two fell silent, save for the occasional sniffle or hiccup from MC.

Despite all the reassurances, the guilt didn’t go away, but what was worse was the fear. Every cell in MC’s body seemed to be screaming at them for their sheer stupidity. They had let Belphegor almost kill them, and their failure to fight him off had been made known to the entire house.

MC’s shaking slowly subsided and they pulled away slightly. “H-how did I live through that? How am I okay..? He said he was going to kill me…” MC let out another sob and touched their neck. “What kind of demon am I if I can’t even protect myself?”

“MC, look at me,” Lucifer instructed, MC shakily complied. “You have nothing to be sorry for. None of this was your fault, this fight has been brewing for thousands of years and you just got caught in the crossfire. You’re still a child, there’s no shame in being hurt by a demon thousands of years older that caught you off guard and deceived you.”

MC nodded, wiping their tears with their sleeve. Lucifer did his best to smile comfortingly.

“Besides,” He helped wipe MC’s tears away. “I don’t think any other demon in this house has enough magical power to break all three spells I had in place at once. You’re not weak, MC, nor are you any less of a demon.”

A meow broke its way into the conversation, Bean nestled himself into MC’s lap and began to purr.

“I thought...” MC sniffled, then smiled. “I thought you didn’t want Bean in your room.”

“I’ll make an exception for today.”

“Careful, Father,” MC laughed between hiccups. “Cerberus might think his favourite demon likes the cat more than him.”

“You might be right, and we don’t want to give Cerberus another reason to want to eat the cat.”

MC giggled, then winced at the pain in their neck. Lucifer sighed and pulled them into another hug.

“Asmodeus said that you’ll be back to normal in a few days or less.” Lucifer whispered. “You’ll be okay.”

“Are… are you going to be okay?” MC asked.

Lucifer didn’t respond for a moment, then sighed.

“I will be.”

After a while of absentmindedly petting the cat and leaning on their father’s arm, MC finally asked the question that had been on their mind since they had woken up.

“What happened to Belphegor?”

“He’s with Beel right now.” Lucifer replied, MC half nodded as they stared blankly at the opposite wall.. “He’s not going to hurt you again, I can promise you that.”

“Mm…” MC mumbled, they took a deep breath and braced themselves. “I’m sorry for being such an idiot…”

“MC-”

“No, I messed up,” a lump formed in MC’s throat as they continued. “Beel, Belphie, and I ran away after Belphie escaped the attic the first time… Lord Diavolo found us and took Belphie, I-I made Beel go back to get all of you so I c-could sneak into Barbatos’ room and fix everything…”

MC hiccuped and rubbed at their already puffy eyes. “I just made everything worse…”

Lucifer sighed and absentmindedly clicked his pen. “I know. Barbatos and Diavolo came over before you woke up and explained everything.”

“What about the other future?” MC sniffed.

“According to Barbatos, he merged it with this one.” Lucifer said. “He said that we’ll be getting small batches of memories from that timeline, but that’s it.”

MC blankly nodded again. Their head was filled with emotions and questions they just didn’t have the strength to deal with. It didn’t help that every single one of their limbs felt heavy as lead and they just wanted to go back to sleep.

“Do you need anything, MC?”

“Music would be nice.”

Lucifer smiled and got up to turn on the record player. “Cursed or not?”

——

Belphie was still in the attic. He lay in the bed in the midst of the destroyed room. Nothing was keeping him locked away up there, the door hadn’t closed since MC unlocked it earlier. Despite it all, Belphie didn’t want to leave. Not after what happened earlier.

Lucifer was fully ready to kill him. It had taken Beel, Levi, and Mammon using their full strength to actually hold Lucifer back.

But the hours had passed, Beel had left, Mammon and Levi could barely even look at him, Asmo and Satan hadn’t even come to see him. The youngest had ruined everything, and all he had left to keep him company was the lingering feeling of regret.

“Belphegor.”

Belphie didn’t open his eyes at the sound of his name. He felt a sudden weight on his chest, making it harder to breathe. He was no stranger to sleep paralysis and the unexplainable horrors that often followed, but his thousands of years of experience never could have prepared him for what he saw when he opened his eyes.

Lilith.

Her face was just as he remembered it, her eyes were just as bright and full of life as they were thousands of years ago. Her downy wings were open and fluttered slightly, and to Belphie’s horror, the wound from the arrow that pierced her right wing was still fresh.

But that was all, there were no remnants of the scars that coated her arms and neck from the war, no defeated look of resigned despair…

It was Lilith, just as Belphie remembered her.

She glared at her brother with a rage he hadn’t seen in millennia. She had his shirt balled up in her fists as she asked her first question.

“What the hell were you thinking!?” The pain and agony in her voice when she asked nearly caused Belphie to cry. “Why did you do that?!”

Belphegor couldn’t respond, he just stared up at the ghostly form of his sister. Her glare hardened.

“I didn’t help MC break those spells for you to… do something like this!”

Her form flickered for the briefest of moments, instead of a halo and wings, a dragon-like tail and thin curved horns took their place, Lilith’s eyes darkened and her nails grew longer and sharper before she flickered back to the form Belphegor recognized.

“L-Lilith?” Belphie whispered, she rolled her eyes.

“Using my death as an excuse for that…” She trailed off, her grip on Belphie’s shirt tightening. “You’re terrible! You really are!”

Terrible? Lilith’s childlike way of chiding people for their misdeeds hadn’t changed a bit. Belphie half expected her to cross her arms and puff out her cheeks like a petulant kid.

“What do you mean?”

“MC!” She growled, flickering back to the unfamiliar demon form. “They weren’t involved! They had nothing to do with me! NOTHING!”

“They’re… they’re half human!”

Belphie’s pitiful attempts to justify his actions to Lilith and himself fell flat as the tight knot of guilt in his gut only grew.

“And I’m stuck like this!” Lilith cried, she flickered back and forth from her angelic and demonic forms, her wounds from the war returning and disappearing as she switched back and forth. “Stuck between being an angel and a demon! But you’d have me back in an instant, wouldn’t you?”

She was right, Belphie would have given anything to have his sister back in any form. Angel, demon, human…

“You can’t stop and think for one moment that the humans had nothing to do with my death?!”

“That human was the reason the war even started!” Belphie retorted, trying to push Lilith’s hands off of his shirt. “He’s the reason why you were in trouble in the first place!”

“No he wasn’t! It was me! I made that decision, not him!” Lilith hissed. “You know what you’ve been doing for the past how many millennia? Looking for someone to blame! Looking for someone to hate that you have actual power over! You don’t have power over the Celestial Realm, you don’t have power over father, but you do have power over humans. You hate them because it’s convenient, and MC paid the price for it!”

Belphie shook his head. “That's not true!”

“Then why?!” Lilith snarled. “Why do you hate them so much?! Why don’t you hate the angels with that much ferocity?! What did MC ever do to you other than try and help you?!”

Every accusation hit him like a hammer to the skull. His head throbbed with every single thing Lilith accused him of, no matter how much he denied it, he knew it was true. Every last word.

“Just..!” Lilith’s rage morphed into something much more quiet and fragile, she slowly curled into herself and shook her head. “Just… why? Why haven’t you been able to move on?”

Belphie felt tears prick at the corner of his vision. “You were our sister. They were just going to… just going to kill you like it was nothing. We promised we’d protect you and you died anyway…. and it was all my fault.”

“Belphie…”

“If I had never taken you to the human world this never would have happened…”

“So what?”

“H-huh?”

“So what?” Lilith repeated. “It’s over now. It’s been over and done with for thousands of years. You need to let it go.”

“But-”

“My death wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t Beel’s, and it wasn’t any human’s. We tried to fight the person who was responsible and…” She trailed off, then quickly shook her head and returned her stare to her brother.

“H-how,” Belphie mumbled. “How are they all going to forgive me..?”

Lilith grimaced and shook her head. “I have no idea. Just… try. Try and fix this...”

Belphie sighed and nodded. “I will.”

Lilith finally smiled. Her new tail swished through the air behind her as she slowly faded away.

“Thank you.”

————

Author’s note:

May the muse Calliope have pity on my poor soul, this has been a WIP in my Google Docs SINCE PART 3 OF THE HALF DEMON SERIES CAME OUT.

I hope you all liked the angst… I’m not too proud of my skills in writing the big sad (tm) yet, buuuuut this is ✨ progress ✨, so I’m not going to self deprecate! I’m thinking of doing a version where it’s M!MC or A!MC instead of L!MC, because I know that Belphie and the kids would react very differently to the whole attempted murder thing…

But for now, I must bid you all adieu. I’m going to eat a pint of Ben and Jerry’s.

[un-beel-ievable]

Obey Me! Headcanons - The Demon Brothers react to a MC who owns a golden retriever 🐕

Author’s note: I'm home :3 Feel free to reblog, but please do not repost!! If you enjoy my writing, do leave me a like and/or a comment (and follow me to see similar content in the future :D)!

_____

Lucifer ☕

• When your dog first bounds over to greet Lucifer, it’s difficult to tell if the eldest born is a fan of your four-legged pal or not. The Avatar of Pride scrutinizes the ball of fluff as if he were a judge on a dog show —all the while as your dog vibrates impatiently by the front door with a tennis ball in its mouth. Perhaps it senses the need to be on its best behaviour if it’s to impress Lucifer.

• “A pet is a responsibility, not a novelty. I sincerely hope that you thought long and hard about the obligations of a pet owner before you went ahead with your decision to adopt. That being said, you appear to be doing quite well with your four-legged companion —they’re very well behaved. I have absolutely no qualms with you taking over Cerberus’s care when you return to the House of Lamentation; clearly you’d manage much more elegantly than my brothers. Perhaps Cerberus would enjoy the company of your charming pooch as well…”

• So Lucifer does like your dog. Not an entirely surprising revelation, if you’ve seen how he behaves around Cerberus in private. The strict no-nonsense archdemon turns into the softest dog owner that you’d ever have the pleasure of meeting; he’s all ear scritches and belly rubs. By the end of his visit, your dog is blissfully rolling on the carpet by Lucifer’s feet as the Avatar of Pride informs it over and over again that it is indeed “a good dog”.

• Perhaps you’ll even catch the small —but genuine— smile twitching at the corners of Lucifer’s lips as he does so.

Mammon 💳:

• In hindsight, perhaps giving Mammon a heads up about the presence of your pooch would have been a good idea.

• Despite your numerous attempts to reassure Mammon that the furry ball of enthusiasm barreling towards him is a Good Dog™, the terrified shriek that escapes the Avatar of Greed is shrill and ear-splitting enough to shatter your windows (Metaphorically speaking, of course. Rest assured, no windows were harmed in the writing of this headcanon.). When your dog leaps at him to nudge its head into his hand for scritches™ and headpats™, Mammon’s life flashes before his eyes. The only image that he can bring to mind before he passes out cold on your carpet is Cerberus’s terrifying snarl.

• When Mammon comes to, your dog is sitting on his chest —looking concerned and suitably chastised for accidentally scaring the living daylights out of the demon. (Even though Mammon refuses to come clean about how terrified he was. “The great Mammon? Afraid of a lil’ dog? W-What...What are ya talkin’ about? I wasn’t scared!”) The events that occurred over the last couple of minutes play on a loop in Mammon's mind. It finally dawns on him that your dog isn’t the ferocious beast that his imagination had conjured up, and his cheeks flush scarlet.

• Please give your demon a hug. I think he needs one. Or several.

Leviathan 🎮:

• If Leviathan had a pet ranking system, Henry 1.0 and Henry 2.0 would always claim the highest spots possible —the S-tiered, 5-star gods of the pet world. No golden retriever could ever worm its way to the top and snatch his love for them from under his feet. Sorry. But your dog is pretty cute, he’ll give you that.

• Too cute, maybe. Hey...um...you don’t love your dog more than you love him, right? What? Him, the Avatar of Envy, jealous? No! Of course not! Why would you make such an outrageous assumption? He’s not jealous —an adorable fluff ball of enthusiasm for the outdoors and joy is a way better than an icky otaku, after all. Leviathan doesn’t blame you for choosing your dog over him. Any sane individual would do the same...

• When you finally manage to reassure your demon that your dog is in no way competition for the affection that you hold for him, —he’ll always be your favourite demon, even if you have a dog. Even if you have a hundred dogs. Nothing is going to change that— he begins looking at your pooch in a different light. That’s right —as a potential cosplay partner. There’s this new anime that’s been released recently...Levi was wondering if you had heard of it? It’s titled: My Partner Is The Proud Owner Of A Golden Retriever And I’m An Otaku Who Enjoys The Simple Pleasure Of Collecting Merchandise and Cosplaying. One of the main characters happens to own a golden retriever as well, and if you’re willing to give him your blessing (the irony, I know), perhaps you’d lend him your pooch for an afternoon of cosplay and photography?

Satan 📚:

• Satan is a cultured demon who enjoys the company of four-legged companions, but he’s admittedly a fan of felines...not canines. Still, he prides himself on keeping an open mind towards new experiences, so he agrees to spend an afternoon with you and your dog (Even though he’d much rather be attending the opening day ceremony of the Devildom’s newest cat cafe. The things he does for love.).

• He performs some through research before meeting your dog for the first time; spending afternoon after afternoon in the sanctuary of his room reading about dogs and how to care for them. No number of books could prepare him for the real thing, however. When Satan first comes over to spend the afternoon in your home, he’s stiff and awkward —unsure of what to do with a dog. He ends up spending the first hour on your couch, sipping tea and spouting facts about golden retrievers.

• Show him the rope that your dog enjoys playing tug-of-war with, or the tennis ball that it insists on carrying in its jaws everywhere it goes. It takes a while for Satan to warm up to your pooch, but he’ll gradually learn to love —or at the very least, tolerate— your canine companion, even though he still firmly believes in the superiority of cats. Speaking of which, you’d accompany him on a date to that new cat cafe, right?

Asmodeus 💋:

• Oh! Your golden retriever is absolutely adorable! And gorgeous too —albeit not as beautiful as him, but that’s to be expected. There’s not a single individual in all of the three realms that could match up to his beauty. And your dog has such luscious fur too...dear Diavolo, he’d kill to have a haircare routine that’s as effective on his locks.

• Would you be willing to take a photo of him posing with your pooch? It’s for his Devilgram followers, of course —such beauty must be shared with the world, no? You’re not entirely sure if Asmo’s referring to his beauty, your dog’s beauty, or the shared, collective beauty of him and your dog. It doesn’t particularly matter. The two (three?) of you end up spending the entire afternoon orchestrating an impromptu photoshoot, and then spending the evening editing the photographs from said shoot for Devilgram.

• Generally gets along with your four-legged companion like a house on fire. There’s just one, itsy-bitsy issue.

• Your dog sheds. A ton. No matter how often you brush its fur, or how many boundaries you set about it not being allowed on the furniture, it seems determined to shed every carpet, sofa and bed that you own. Asmo never stops whining about the copious amounts of fur that now decorate every article of clothing he owns, but at least your dog seems happy to be able to leave its mark —on Asmo’s ensembles, of course, but also his heart.

Beelzebub 🍔:

• Corporate has asked you to find the difference between this picture and this picture—

• Asmo gets along well with your dog. Beel gets along with your dog even better. As one of the few only brothers who’s willing to spend any amount of time with Cerberus (granted, most of the time he’s only doing so because he’s been promised free food), Beel has grown into quite the dog lover. Your dog seems thrilled to be in the company of someone who appears to wholeheartedly enjoy its company —your dog is thrilled by the company of anyone who’s willing to give it their time of day, but still— and Beelzebub is thrilled to be in the company of a four-legged companion who appears to wholeheartedly enjoy his company. Beel is happy to spend whole afternoons playing with your dog...interspaced with the occasional snack break, of course.

• Speaking of which, Beel very much struggles with not giving into your golden retriever’s extremely convincing puppy dog eyes. Objectively, he knows that giving your dog human (or demon) food is a terrible idea —the last thing he wants is to be the reason that your dog has to take a trip to the vet. But your dog is so cute! And it’s looking at his food with such an intense longing in its eyes...Beel can relate to that. Surely a little nibble wouldn’t hurt…

• When you find yourself having to tell Beel off, suddenly you find yourself at the receiving end of 2 sets of puppy dog eyes; both Beel and your pupper are very sorry. They swear it’ll never happen again! Please don’t be upset…

• How are you supposed to stay mad at them?

Belphegor 🛏:

• ...listen.

• It’s not that he hates dogs. Honestly! He likes dogs as much as the next demon! But they can be loud and yappy and so incredibly energetic, and your golden retriever is more hyper than most. It always wants to go on walks, or play fetch, or make him throw its favourite tennis ball over and over again but refuse to hand it over so he has to engage in a slobbery game of tug-of-war to steal the ball from it —it’s just too much for the Avatar of Sloth. Just watching your dog zip across the room in a display of its endless amounts of energy is enough to tire Belphie out...is playtime over yet? He just wants to take a nap.

• Makes multiple attempts to talk you into allowing Beel to look after your dog. Just for an afternoon! His twin certainly has the energy to keep your hyperactive pup entertained for the whole day, and since you can be assured that your dog is well taken care of, perhaps the two of you could finally stay inside for once and take a nice, long nap. It’s been too long since he’s gotten to hold you in his arms…

• By the time Beel returns your dog to you, it’s all tuckered out from its day of adventures. As you’re thanking Beel for looking after your dog for the day, you catch him chuckling softly at something over your shoulder —Belphie and your furry friend, dozing off together on the couch. They appear to finally be getting along.

BONUS: I'm still not terribly comfortable with adding the (former) undatables to my writing repertoire, but my partner happens to be very fond of the demon butler...and I happen to be very fond of them. So just this once, just to see how it goes...

Barbatos 🍵:

• Oh? So this is the sweet bundle of fur that he’s heard so much about. It’s a pleasure to meet them at long last. Barbatos has always been fond of dogs, and your dog is quite an endearing creature to say the least...it actually reminds Barbatos of Cerberus when he was a puppy. How time flies.

• Treats your dog as if it were an esteemed guest of the castle. As long as Barbatos is around, you needn’t lift a finger when it comes to the care of your beloved pet. Keeping your dog fed and watered? Barbatos has it covered; the butler seems to have an in built in timer when it comes to feeding your dog —Barbatos serves its meals at exactly 6 in the morning and 6 in the evening. Not a minute early, not a minute late. When taking your dog out on walks, he carries a spare bottle of water for the sole purpose of offering it to your dog if it gets thirsty. Speaking of walks...Barbatos is more than happy to escort your pooch on walks in the event that you’re unavailable to do so yourself. Barbatos generally allows your golden to lead the way on their excursions, and is content with following along behind it to keep it out of trouble for however long it wishes to remain outdoors. If it were to tire itself out, Barbatos takes your dog into his arms and carries it the rest of the way home.

• Your pooch becomes very spoiled very quickly. It’s unclear if you’ve gained a butler...or if your dog has.

[zodiyack]

Light-Stick

Requested by @psychkunox​: (Been so long since I requested other than Peaky) But can you do a Supernatural one, Dean x Reader insp to the ep "Regarding Dean."

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, fluff?, tired/probably poor writing

Words: 1,218

Summary: (See Request?)

Note: So, if you couldn’t tell by the title, this revolves mainly around the scene wherein Sam and Dean are at the motel. Sorry if this sucks :\

Taglist: @matth1w​, @redspaceace-writes​, @fandom-puff​, @darling-i-read-it​, @simonsbluee​, @sebastianstanslefteyebrow​, @psychkunox​,

Masterlist | Supernatural Masterlist

The phone rang, vibrating the table with it. “Unknown Caller”. Sam looked away from his laptop and picked up the phone without hesitation. Y/n watched from the seat across, taking slow sips of her morning drink of choice. “Hello?”

“...Sam?”

Upon hearing his brother’s voice, his shoulders hunched and his empty hand came up, an “are-you-shitting-me” type of attitude immediately replacing his calmed expression. “Dude! Where the hell have you been?” At Sam’s sudden change of tone, along with his question, Y/n widened her eyes and tilted her head, no longer half asleep.

“Uhhh I’m not really sure about that.”

“Well- where are you now?”

“Um, not really sure about that either.... I um... Oh!” Dean laughed on the other end, “I’m starvin’. How you feel about waffles?”

Sam’s face morphed with confusion, drawing Y/n’s interest even more. He muttered a bit, struggling to form a word before he picked one, “What?”

“Dumb question. Right. What psycho doesn’t love waffles? I mean they’re fluffy with little pockets full of syrup you just cover ‘em with whip cream, right? Anyway, meet me at Waldo’s, alright?”

Sam could barely think of something to say with the amount of time given to him. Dean hung up leaving Sam thinking 100 miles per second. Y/n made eye contact with her boyfriend’s brother, raising a brow as to ask for the story.

“Was that Dean?”

“Mhm.”

“Where was he?”

He shrugged. “Don’t know.”

“Did he not tell you?”

“No, actually, he doesn’t even know. He said to meet him at Waldo’s for waffles and then hung up.”

Y/n paused, scrunching her brows together in thought. Then she nodded with a shrug, “Sounds like Dean to me.”

Dean met Sam’s eyes as he walked into the building. “Hey...” he drawled. The first thing he did as the two sat down was sigh and tap his head, “You brought my girlfriend but did you bring any of the uh-” Sam took the bottle of pills out of his pocket and shook it, like an owner would a dog treat to their eager pup. “Yes!”

“Sounded like you could use it.”

“Oh man,” Dean whispered as he opened the bottle.

“Rough night?” Y/n’s eyes followed her boyfriend’s every movement. Dean after drinking, whether it be drunk or hungover, never ceased to entertain her. Dean shook his head.

“Rough morning.” He poured some into his hand, using his coffee to wash down the pills rather than water. 

Sam watched with amusement as well, chuckling a little. “What happened? I mean, you just went out to get some food.”

Dean raised his free hand to emphasize his shrug as he set the mug down. “I dunno.”

“What does that mean?”

“I- I guess I blacked out... And judging from this hangover,” he nodded his head, “it was epic.”

Sam looked to Y/n for context, however, all he got was a raise of her shoulders. She hadn’t been with him last night, so there was no way she was involved with his drunken state.

“Well, we tried to call you-”

“Oh.” Dean held up his broken phone, making Sam sigh and Y/n look down in disappointment. “Not sure how that happened.”

“Great. Alright, well I’ll text mom and make sure she knows you’re going with me in case of emergency and Cas, in case he tracks down Kelly.”

Dean slowed his chewing down as his brows furrowed, tilting his head to meet Sam’s eyes. Sam raised his brows in response. “The- mother of Lucifer’s love child?”

“Right. Right. Yes, the, devil-baby-mama drama... Heh, say that five times fast. Devil-baby-mama drama.”

Once again, Sam sighed at his brother’s antics, though, Y/n couldn’t help but giggle a bit. He shoved his phone back into his pocket, “Alright, Dean, you know, uh, you’ve had a good run, but uh, maybe let’s pump the brakes a little bit. I mean you’re not twenty anymore...”

Dean froze, staring at his brother. Amusement was nowhere to be seen on his face, which was quite rare. “Okay, one, the Rat Pack partied till the day they died and b, I can still kick your ass.”

“Finish your waffles, tough guy. I’m sure you have some work to do.” Y/n snickered. “I’ve gotta go. I’ll catch up with you guys later. Call me if you need me, okay?” She raised her brows as she waited for Dean to nod, then pressed a kiss to his forehead and walked out the door, waving goodbye to the brothers.

“Hey... I came as soon as I could-” Y/n opened the door and stepped into the room, closing it behind her.

“Thank you- I-”

“My girlfriend? Really Sammy?”

He ignored his brother, whispering as quietly but frantically as he could.“Dean’s been acting weird.”

“Like Dean weird? Or...”

“No no, Dean has not been acting weird, Dean has been acting like Dean.” The man in question interjected, waving his finger around.

Sam spun back around to face Y/n, pointing to Dean. “Don’t listen to him.”

“Didn’t plan on it. ...Why is there a sticky note with the word lamp on the lamp?”

“Because Dean called it-”

“A lamp.”

“A light stick.” Sam glared at Dean.

Y/n covered her mouth, attempting to keep it contained, but to no avail; laughter poured from her lips uncontrollably. Dean seemed to find offence in it.

“Why the hell are you laughing?”

“I’m sorry bub, but... can you blame me? ‘Light stick’. Sounds like some holy shit if you ask me. Or maybe Starwars. Lightsaber?”

Sam squinted at her in confusion. He shook his head. “Not the point- listen, do you think we can do anything?”

“I’m not sure...”

“I’ll call someone, give me a minute.” Sam walked over to the other side of the room and began to pace.

The voice on the other end was inaudible to Dean and Y/n, but Sam filled in the most he could with his responses.

“Yeah, well, we need your help Rowena.”

“C’mon man, Rowena? I mean- tch- Hey!” Dean bent over into the mini-fridge, pulling out two little bottles of- “Tiny vodkas! Score!” He smiled and shook the bottles with a chuckle.

“This is serious. Look- I think Dean’s been hexed, okay? He- he’s been forgetting things... He’s not drunk!”

Dean held the empty ice-container in his arm, the lid in his other hand. “We need ice.”

Sam turned to Dean’s voice, then turned his head back around and shook his head, holding up a finger, an unspoken “one minute please”.

Y/n chortled as Dean continued to silently gesture with the lid to the container.

“What? ...I don’t know? Uh- And I’m not checking either! ....How do I break it? ...Got it.” Sam hung up, spinning back around to face the two, “Alright so- ...Dean?”

Y/n lifted her head from the lamp, her fingers toying with the sticky note. “Huh?”

“Where’d he go?”

“I- I don’t know...”

They looked toward the door, opened ajar just slightly, then back to each other. “Dean!?” Sam raced out the door.

Y/n looked back to the lamp and the yellow note between her fingers. She chuckled, remembering what Dean said. “Light stick.” More chuckles rang out before Sam’s voice brought her back to reality.

“Y/n! C’mon!”

“Right, sorry!” She raced out the door, following behind. “...Light-stick...Never calling another lamp a ‘lamp’ again.”

[r--at]

Can you do 18 with Gen z humor 🛀🔥

18: MC with gen z humor

Warnings: Cussing, some dark humor

Lucifer

He would be so annoyed at first.

Would be shook if you talked back to him.

Lucifer: MC...Mammon I swear if you two don't stop I'll-

MC: Bitch I hope the fuck you do, you'd be a damn ass son of a bitch if you tried

Lucifer: . . .

Mammon: . . . Yeah- what they said.

He is just in pure shock because of the amount of audacity one person can hold.

He is going to be so concerned about how many depressing jokes they make.

Super confused and definitely wonders if this is normal fo humans to find this kind of stuff funny.

Some comebacks he may find humorous, he just won't let you feel the power of seeing him amused.

Sometimes he has to power walk back to his room to hold back from laughing.

Mammon

He is also confused and freaked out with all the things they find funny.

He is terrified of them at first with all the things they laugh at, and he's like: did they just laugh when that child fell?

Though the thing that brings him closer to you is probably going to be the fact that not only are you brave enough to talk back to anybody, your talking back is also hilarious.

He'd turn into even more of a headache if your humor rubbed off on him.

Random demon: That's why you're broke, maybe if you learned how to save your mone-

Mammon:

MC: That's why yo mama dead, dead as hell, what money does she have huh? What money does she have in her casket? That's why yo granny ain't got no knees, she can't pray to jesus bitch.

Mammon bullying is not tolerated over here.

Oh you thought he was clingy? Well now you have the sin of greed clinging to your legs whenever he gets into trouble.

Leviathan

Yes yes yes

Someone that shares at least, close enough, his own humor.

Meme spamming, just randomly throughout the day you'll just spam eachother with memes.

Joke about each others mental illnesses together, perfect bonding time.

I can see you two yelling that yeet skrt song.

Levi:Yeet

MC:Yeet skrt

Levi:Yeet Yeet

MC:Skrt

Levi:Skrt skrt

MC:Roll up

Levi:Yeet

MC:Drop that

Levi:Yeet

MC:Skrt that

Levi:Pop that

MC:Aye Aye

Levi:Aye Aye

MC: You never loved me mom, but I needed you ~woah~

Satan

Definitely thinks you are a headache at first.

Would start to like you after seeing you talk back to Lucifer.

Would definitely invite you to prank Lucifer.

Your bonding time consists of roasting Lucifer or just random demons you dont like.

Satan: *calling Lucifer*

MC:

Lucifer: Yes?

Satan: *nods to MC*

MC: This is for Lucifer, you big fat, white nasty, smelling fat bitch

Why you took me off the motherfuking schedule with your trifling dirty white racist ass big fat bitch

And maluma body ass bitch.

Asmodeus

This is fine. This is fine. Did you just laugh after running into that door and getting a bloody nose?

Asmo....You just....Concern him.

But he will still hang around you because, bad bitch energy.

Will hype you up if you are arguing with a random demon again.

MC: You can't kill me, I'm a bad bitch.

Lucifer:

Asmo: Yes queen!

The jokes about trauma and darker, depressing stuff however, he is just kinda awkwardly laughing to play along because he doesn't know what to do.

Beelzebub

After every single bad or depressing joke you make about yourself, you will recieve a hug. You can't refuse.

Highly concerned about why you are laughing at such weird things...didn't you nearly fall down the stairs a second ago?

Will definitely watch over you like you are a child, to make sure you dont hurt yourself.

No offing yourself jokes tolerated in this facility.

MC: Y'know if I ate 480 bananas I wouldn't have to worry about doing my homework.

Beel: ..Why's that?

MC: I'd be dead.

Beel: Don't you do it.

And that's why the House of Lamentation ran out of bananas, and why Beel will no longer let you near them.

Belphegor

Just don't exsist too loudly, he has to get his hundreds of depression naps in.

Wouldn't mind you at first, unless he heard you laughing too loud.

10/10 Would drag you into some prank involving Lucifer as the victim.

Would probably joke about murder or mental illnesses with you.

But don't worry he wouldn't actually murder you. Or well, he wouldn't again.

MC: Hey Lucifer, what's red and bad for your teeth?

Lucifer: *sigh*

Lucifer: What?

MC: A brick.

Belphie: This is a threat.

Belphie will make sure you two leave Lucifer with an even worse headache than before.

Diavolo

This is okay, this is fine, this is normal, wait- was that supposed to be funny?

So confused.

Never knew humans could find such odd things so humorous.

Bad bitch? What's that? Definitely ended up asking Lucifer or Barbatos about it.

What in the chaotic energy is this.

Diavolo: And then they laughed...

Barbatos: MC laughed after having a breakdown about her grades?

Barbatos: That's not that bad.

Diavolo: I think I heard her say she wanted to kill herself...and then laughed again...

Barbatos:. . . Oh

Barbatos

Keep a straight face. Keep a straight face.

It's just some of the things you say make him internally die of laughter, not like you could tell.

He is slightly concerned when you start banging your head against the desk, or the wall, when you recieve your test grades back.

Solomon: You are so easy to piss off

MC: And you're so easy to make insecure, wait until I tell you about your big ass of a-

Barbatos:

Barbatos: *Internally wheezing*

On the outside he doesn't have much to any reaction to anything you say, but sometimes on the inside he is trying so hard to keep himself from laughing.

Solomon

He understands your humor...but sometimes its just... its...so random.

He's kinda just like wondering if he should get you to a therapist when you go back.

Asmo: And then he told me that pink just didn't fit me. Can you believe that!?

Solomon: Well-

MC: The lion, the witch, and the audacity of this bitch.

How have you not died? Just how.

With how much he see's you going off on people its just a wonder.

Simeon

This isn't funny MC-

Making fun of yourself is not okay.

Super confused on how you find literally any of this funny.

MC, you can do better, go read the bible, your humor needs it.

MC: look at this bitch. So gross. How do you live with yourself. Your life is a mess. Go see a therapist. You need some antidepressants or something!?

Simeon: Um..MC...That's your reflection.

MC: Chile anyways-

Hey, hey, hey no offing yourself jokes MC, this isn't funny, this isn't okay, no. No. No. Stop it.

Probably contemplates taking you to church at least five times a day.

Luke

Why're you laughing.

Please stop. This isn't funny MC.

Never watches horror movies with you. Ever.

MC this isn't supposed to be funny- why're you laughing after someone told you to burn in hell?

So concerned, scared, and confused.

Luke: MC- this isn't supposed to be funny?

Luke: Why are we watching this?

MC: Did you- *wheeze* Did you see the way that bitch just tripped while trying to run away?

No more horror movies, and no more unsolved murder documentaries for you MC.