#I swear it was just august 1st a couple of days ago how did we get here

[polygondotcomvideoproducer]

Being a bloke who does fuck all is a hereditary curse that results in being very difficult to buy birthday presents for

[hasbihallarcomebackhome-blog]

5 Tips about yeast face mask You Can Use Today

Certainly, it would make a great gentle cleanser likewise. I like how it will make my face really feel while in the mornings. This is used to collect information on traffic to article content and also other pages on our site. Unless you might be signed in to the HubPages account, all personally identifiable data is anonymized. I have tried coffee honey nd lemon mixed face pack nd it is absolutely successful to my pores and skin….u need to consider it as soon as ?? Chilly climate can aggravate rosacea, leaving faces reddened and blotchy, and occasionally bumpy as well. The apple cider vinegar helps you to stabilize the pH of the skin, while the oatmeal lessens discomfort and one other ingredients soothe and moisturize. These masks are ideal for an at-house facial. Begin with clean up skin and just before making use of the mask, lay a heat, wet wash cloth on the face to open up up your pores. After rinsing from the mask, wash your face with chilly water or utilize a toner to close the pores. Then implement an excellent face oil. my Close friend And that i would want to Possess a comforting facial mask afternoon any suggestions of which one is most effective with in the next twenty mins Get started Slideshow Each individual merchandise we aspect has actually been independently picked and reviewed by our editorial team. In case you make a order using the back links included, we might receive Fee. August two, 2014 at eight:19 pm Hello there! I\'m making an attempt the redness-cutting down mask for rosacea - I\'ve only utilized a little little bit on my face when compared to just what the recipe built, can I continue to keep it while in the fridge for a couple of days to work with once again or do I really need to come up with a new combination each and every time? I have my fingers crossed it works! Many thanks! yeast face mask offers the necessary dose of vitamin C in this pack. Choose just one tbsp of coffee powder, just one tbsp of honey, and squeeze in some drops of lemon into it. Mix effectively and utilize on face and neck. Rinse off soon after 50 % an hour or so. Now, https://www.wikihow.com/Make-Face-Masks-Using-Natural-Ingredients might be excellent for dry skin. Olive oil moisturizes skin and has vitamin E content material way too. Increase 1 tbsp of coffee powder with one tbsp of olive oil, mix very well, and implement the paste on face and neck. Rinse off when its semi dry. Oatmeal is great for calming rough, indignant skin and for assisting to mend eczema and acne breakouts. Paired with honey and yogurt, it’s a calming and revitalizing mask for all pores and skin varieties. Didi’s just take: “Will not Do this a single in front of the children! Spirulina is green, incredibly green. You'll appear like the Hulk. Having said that, I liked this mask. It smelled like banana and remaining my skin brilliant and so hydrated that it was actually springy for the contact.” I failed to understand that strawberries naturally have salicylic acid in them! I knew to search for the component when buying face/acne washes, but by no means realized I'd some in my fridge now. I really like Understanding new things such as that! :) Combine all the above mentioned ingredients in a small mixing bowl. Working with thoroughly clean finger suggestions, apply a thick coat with the combination on to your face.

Helping get more info Realize The Advantages Of honey face mask

The caffeine enhances blood circulation and pores and skin metabolism, which decreases the appearance of cellulite. Moreover, it’s an outstanding exfoliator, ridding the skin of every one of the dead pores and skin cells, Filth along with other impurities. Pat your face with moderate yellow mustard for a bracing facial that will soothe and encourage the skin. Attempt it on a little check space 1st to make sure it gained’t irritate. Lemon facial masks Your not too long ago seen things and highlighted recommendations › Check out or edit your browsing background August two, 2014 at 8:19 pm Hello there! I\'m hoping the redness-lowering mask for rosacea - I\'ve only employed a small little bit on my face in comparison with what the recipe made, can I continue to keep it while in the fridge for a few days to implement yet again or do I really need to come up with a new combination each time? I've my fingers crossed it really works! Many thanks! Raw honey by alone is Attractive, but You can even mix and match other foods-centered ingredients to tailor your mask on your special skin form. Skin Treatment is important to every of us and plays an essential position inside our grooming method. visit little herbs here delivers you a considerable collection of items that are made to fulfill the skin care needs. You could search through our variety to discover the solution of the preference through the use of practical look for parameters including makes, seller, price tag, availability and normal shopper assessments. three. Make the mask easy and properly-blended for less complicated application. I realize mine appears a tiny bit lumpy but it absolutely was still great for application. With clear fingers, use this mask in your face. Clean off with warm water following ten minutes. How it works: Resveratrol, a strong antioxidant found largely in crimson wine but additionally in smaller sized amounts in white, may perhaps help to restore the injury caused by Sunshine exposure that can cause wrinkles and sagging, As outlined by a rising physique of scientific investigation. Reply: Any honey will do, but I very endorse employing raw, unfiltered honey for the face mask because it retains much more on the potent healing Attributes. This is excellent! I happen to be hunting Around for a little something such as this! I'm going to must attempt Each individual recipe. Thank you for sharing!! We may well use conversion monitoring pixels from promotion networks including Google AdWords, Bing Adverts, and Facebook in order to recognize when an advertisement has effectively resulted in the specified motion, for example signing up to the HubPages Services or publishing an report around the HubPages Service. Mix the entire elements jointly, unfold evenly above pores and skin, and permit it to sit for around ten minutes. If you rinse it off, massage your face Carefully to exfoliate at the same time. Puree the papaya inside of a food processor or blender until finally just mashed evenly, and afterwards Mix in one other substances by hand. Distribute above your face, avoiding your eyes, and let it sit for ten-quarter-hour. Wipe or rinse your face cleanse, and smile at you while in the mirror. include yeast on the citrus, blend and utilize in your face, keep the mask for 25 minutes and then rinse with interesting drinking water.

How Much You Need To Expect You'll Pay For A Good coffee face mask

You're absolutely sure to note a delightful improvement in your acne scars that may look much less visible than right before! Papaya is full of antioxidants, and its enzymes support to slough absent previous, dry pores and skin cells for a glowing, nutritious complexion. Jasmin Fiore of The Deva Life swears by papaya masks as Component of her therapeutic routine, and sings the praises of this rejuvenating speculate-fruit. Picture this mask being a smoothie for your personal face: strawberries consist of salicylic acid (which happens to be perfect for acne-vulnerable skin), when lemon juice helps to tighten pores and take away previous, lifeless pores and skin cells. These appear to be fantastic face masks, honey does wonders to the skin and leaves your face exceptionally sleek! One more face mask that is certainly Tremendous simple and extremely beneficial is an easy honey and cinnamon mask. Individuals with dry pores and skin should really use this as it has astounding elements that mend and nourish dehydrated pores and skin. The many benefits of the masks are only temporary. If you do a mask that gets rid of excess oil, the oil will come back. If you have dry or ordinary pores and skin kind, you are able to do mask daily, When the skin is delicate and fading, the procedure needs to be done no more than two instances every week. Fantastic posting! I've a question. Does utilizing a face mask produce a substantial distinction in your facial pores and skin (immediately after the main use or initial couple uses)? I have not applied just one in advance of but knew someone who did... Or you might want to use it constantly? SiO Beauty Lift sequence patches are available in 5 specially-created designs so you're able to target the problems spots on your face, neck, and upper body. If you talk to us, All those are more than more than enough fantastic explanations to operate inside of a face mask when per week. But as we touched on over, some retail outlet-purchased face masks may be lousy for the skin due to chemical compounds and the intense adhesive they use. Olive oil moisturizes and is also infused with antioxidants; mayonnaise softens the pores and skin although offering the whole shebang a wealthy, creamy texture. The lavender? Pure aromatherapy. Includes strong anti-inflammatory and pores and skin lightening Qualities. Allows fade acne scars and decreasing swelling and redness from acne. Ahead of working with any with the masks, its finest to initially take a look at a little part of the mask on to your internal elbow or wrist to determine if you may be allergic to it. Edit: I finished applying honey in it due to the fact I failed to know if it improved the effectiveness, And that i do honey masks by rubbing honey with a moist face and permitting it sit, so I think incorporating honey to this was too smaller to help make a distinction, but who is familiar with maybe not. I also tried rice powder on It is personal or in this. https://en.search.wordpress.com/?src=organic&q=face+mask desire yeast!

Little Known Facts About coffee face mask.

Blend all substances jointly in a little bowl. Use a thin layer more than your overall face and neck. Rest for twenty minutes and rinse with warm drinking water. Repeat the mask weekly or utilize the combination to be a day by day place procedure by dabbing it on to discoloration. Effects will consider 2-3 months. Following that, apply the mask with your clean up face. Depart this mask on for 50 % one hour and Finally wash your face. The caffeine from coffee grounds in this cocoa-licious mask assists to lessen swelling and puffiness, while the antioxidants within the cocoa support to lower ageing, plus the yogurt replenishes misplaced humidity. For additional honey Tips, consider honey and cinnamon for brighter pores and skin or honey with cocoa and product to exfoliate. Any health and fitness issue requested on This website will be visible on the individuals that browse This website. T here fore, the consumer assumes the accountability to not disclose any Individually identifiable information while in the dilemma. Utilization of This website is topic to our Terms & Disorders. Go through our privacy coverage Mash or puree the avocado till it’s easy and creamy, after which you can Mix in the remainder of the components. Implement to the face, keeping away from your eyes, and leave it on for ten-quarter-hour. Wipe the skin clean up having a moist, heat fabric, or rinse your face with warm drinking water from the shower. Avocado masks are employed by celebs like Victoria Beckham and Jessica Biel, as well as best part is you could take in the next half that you just don’t use on your own face. Directions: To type this anti growing older pores and skin treatment face mask which also includes a lightening effect, set each of the substances in the blender, or mash by hand inside of a bowl. Use your fingers to unfold the mask around your face and neck and leave it on for a minimum of 30 minutes, preferably lengthier, prior to getting rid of. I'd no concept that orange peel was so fantastic with the pores and skin! Actually intriguing, absolutely a thing to add to my Do it yourself to-do list! SiO Elegance Elevate sequence patches can be found in five specifically-designed styles so you can concentrate on the issues places on the face, neck, and upper body. Maintain for twenty minutes and rinse off. In conjunction with Light exfoliation, it will provide you with anti-oxidant and anti-inflammatory profit and honey as always will moisturize your skin. Please take somewhat instant to accomplish your profile so we could personalize your knowledge and make sure you acquire written content and offers which can be relevant to you personally. B natural vitamins refresh and tone the skin, enhance blood circulation in cells, normalize metabolic processes; (It is possible to pierce the capsule by using a needle to squeeze out the contents.) Stir the combination and afterwards unfold it onto your face, getting rid of after ten to quarter-hour. For additional easy Do-it-yourself face masks like these, and homemade treatments of every kind, check out the ebook Selfmade: 707 Products to Make On your own to save cash and also the Earth. And don’t miss out on these other day-to-day habits that could cause you to look younger.

The best Side of coffee face mask

Yeast mask to indicate men and women: with oily skin and seborrhea. Excellent yeast cleanse the pores, simultaneously disappears glow, face appears refreshed; Now, smooth the paste equally and Carefully using your fingertips about the clean up neck and face; keep your eye space clear. Then, increase a handful crushed sunflower seeds, few drops contemporary lemon juice as well as a spoonful of honey in it. Thanks for often furnishing great data. I might like to consider the turmeric mask ��� just wondering if it gained’t shade the pores and skin tone to yellow. Use around the face and neck, and wash off just after 5 to 10 minutes with any Mild face cleanser or rose water. Attempt not to use this on acne prone pores and skin but if you choose to do so then follow it up having an acne skin face pack. An additional nice update: After you incorporate honey to this mixture, it won't dry stiff in any way. I did not assume that nevertheless it's wonderful! Honey has antibacterial and calming Houses, And that i used Manuka honey which can be recognized for acquiring the very best antibacterial Attributes. I'm confident it is possible to combine a few other factors in it likewise. So, if you are amassing the kelp oneself, stay clear of extremely polluted spots. When you are acquiring it, Make certain that it really is gathered and made in a place with as lower a level of air pollution as possible. Here's five simple recipes to receive you started off. Discover the one particular that actually works for your skin variety or the challenge you need to deal with. For the most recent meals information, well being suggestions and recipes, like us on Facebook or stick to us on Twitter and YouTube. With this simple blemish-eradicating face mask, You merely need to have two other ingredients: honey and yogurt. These powerhouse substances are jam packed with nutrients that supply nourishing Rewards to pores and skin. Honey, especially, can help in night out discolorations and blemishes on skin. Application: Implement a single layer of the combination on your entire face and down onto your throat. Wait for a few minutes till it dries. Then, implement a next layer and hold implementing until eventually you have got employed The complete batch. Applying honey masks for acne therapy is often a very popular residence solution and For anyone who is serious about treating your acne inside a organic, harmless way or if The body isn't going to answer very well to absorbing medicines product of harsh substances, then honey masks are the proper choice for you. Warning: Kelp could possibly be allergenic to some on account of its large iodine articles. Also, kelp can be rich in metallic pollutants like direct and cadmium, because nearly all industrial sewage and wastes are in the end dumped into your seas. Mash all the components with each other, but will not puree in the blender: you desire this to get spreadable, not a liquid. Use evenly throughout your face and Permit sit 8-ten minutes. Wipe off having a heat, damp facecloth and afterwards rinse with cool h2o. Pat dry.

[notyourprettyboyxo]

Summer Days - 8

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x HendersonSister!Reader

Steve Harrington x HendersonSister!Reader (platonic)

Warning: Mentions of abuse, swearing

Word Count: 1.6k

You were spending the summer with your brother in Hawkins. Your first time back in the small town for the last nine years. You were done school in California and just looking for some fun. You didn’t count on your ex, who’d moved away last year, to be there though.

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Tag list:  @cella-stokes @jackyfrost01 @bethanystan @stacie-marie-bloom @bucky4cap45

It wasn’t long until you were standing by the quarry, “This is just sad.” you muttered, your hands on your hips.

Billy let out a laugh, “Everything in this town is.”

“Then why stay? You’re eighteen aren’t you?” you asked, hopping up to sit on the hood of the Camaro.

“I need money. I wasn’t allowed to get a job until a week ago.” He said, coming to join you on the hood.

“Neil?” you asked, he only nodded as he pulled out a cigarette he offered you the pack and you took one with a rueful smile, “always the gentleman.”

Billy snorted, “only to you princess,” the use of your old nickname made heat gather in your stomach. How easy would it be to forget the last year hadn’t happened? To go back to where you were before he left. To be in love...not like you ever really fell out of love though, you knew you’d always love him. You’d accepted that months ago, but then months ago you thought you’d never see him again. You never expected to sit under the stars with Billy Hargrove again.

“You’re working then?” you asked, holding out the cigarette, Billy pulled out his trusty Zippo lighter and with a practised flick he lighted the end. Taking a drag you sighed with contentment, something about the night air, the familiar cigarette and the heat of the man beside you calmed all the chaos inside of you.

He took a long drag before answering you, “yeah...I know enough about cars. I was able to get a job at the mechanic here.”

You couldn’t help but smile, “that’s great right? You even talked about being a mechanic back in California.”

“I just want to leave princess. There’s nothing for me here,” his eyes had a far off look, like he’d given up.

“What are you going to do then?”

“I was going to go back home,” he said quietly.

You knew where home was. Home was San Diego, the beach, his mother's resting place. Home used to be you. You didn’t know if it still was...or even if you wanted it to. Reaching down you placed your hands beside his on the hood. Only the edge of your fingers touching, “then come home.”

He turned to look at you, his eyes searching your face for any sign of indecision. He swallowed thickly before speaking, “I’m not sure where my home is anymore.”

Sliding your hand a little, you interlocked your pinky with his, “home...home can be us.”

Billy took a shaky breath, his hand running across his face, “you’re only here for two months, baby.”

Your heart beat was wild in your chest. Maybe this was an awful decision. Starting things up again with Billy? Especially only being here for two months? Seeing him again had brought everything back and seeing Billy tonight had only cemented in how much you still love him.

“Then come back with me.” you found yourself saying the words before you could even think through the situation. Was Billy coming back with you such a bad thing? He was old enough, he didn’t have to live with Neil anymore, it’d be the best situation for the family. You hadn’t wanted to live in dorms again anyways. You’d already talked to your father and he had planned to put you up in one of his rentals for the year anyways, so you had a place for you and Billy.

Billy’s hand grasped yours tightly, “Do you mean that?” You could see the emotion in his eyes, you were offering a place that wanted him, someone who wanted him.

“I...yes. Yes Billy I do.” you said quietly, not looking away from him. With eyes bright with tears, he brought a hand up to your cheek and cupped your face, slowly he lowered his face to yours, his lips met yours in a sweet gentle kiss that spoke more than he could have ever said.

He pulled away, you didn’t acknowledge when his other hand scrubbed across his cheeks. Removing any evidence of his earlier tears. “End of August?” he asked after a couple of minutes of silence.

“I get the apartment on September 1st.” You said, threading your fingers through his, “I think I’m leaving on August 29th. I was just going to take a bus back.”

“We can take the Camaro if you want.” Billy said, his thumb brushing across the back of your hand.

“Let’s do that.” you said, smiling softly at him.  You got a smile from him in return, all evidence of any strong emotions vanished from his face.

Billy jumped off the hood and stretched. As he pulled his arms over his head your eyes went directly to the flash of skin at his abdomen. He grinned as he followed your eyes, “Like what you see, baby?”

Your mouth was dry, the words stuck in your throat as you tried to figure some explanation to your watching. Billy’s grin widened as you fought for words. Two steps brought him directly in front of you.

Reaching out he put both hands on your waist and pulled you forwards until you were almost chest to chest with him, your legs on either side of his hips. One hand buried itself in your hair, tangling itself in your curls. He tilted your head upwards and your lips parted as you met his eyes, his pupils wide with want.

You couldn’t think, all logical thought telling you that this was a bad idea went out the window. The heat and familiar scent of him burned through you, he knew exactly what you liked, and he knew it too. The smug bastard.

He buried his nose in your neck, kissing, mouthing and sucking at the skin. “Your mine baby, all mine,” his whispered words sending shivers through your body.

With a singular movement, he met your lips in a heated kiss. Your mouth opened against his as you fought him for dominance. One hand threading through his blonde curls, the other gripping the front of his leather jacket. He growled against your lips as he pushed you back against the car. Pulling away momentarily he climbed on top of the car to hover over you.

Your hooded eyes watched him, a small smile graced your face as your brushed a hand against his cheek. He closed his eyes, relishing in the gentle touch, “You’re mine.” You said, pulling on one of the curls that had fallen down.

He licked his lips and nodded, “I’m yours.”

The light caught your watch and momentarily you noticed the time and the late hour, “Fuck fuck fuck.” you said, sitting up. Billy pulled back, just quick enough so that you didn’t knock heads.

“What?” he growled, annoyed at the interruption.

“I need to be home before twelve.” You said, pushing on his shoulders for him to get off.

He grabbed your wrist, “What’s this Cinderella shit? You never had a curfew before.”

You frowned at him, “Not a curfew, but Steve leaves at twelve and I need to be home for Dustin.”

Billy’s eyes narrowed at the mention of Steve Harrington, but reluctantly got off you and stood up, he ran a hand through his hair as he nodded, “I’ll give you a ride home.”

You smiled gratefully at him, “Thanks Billy, we’ll continue another time okay?”

He grinned and pulling your wrist, he brought you into his arms. With a single practised move he pushed you against the side of the Camaro, his entire body against yours. You could feel him against your thigh, “deal.” Then he pulled back and you felt colder than before.

He left you there as he got in the driver's seat and you needed a moment to get your body under control. No matter how much you wanted to stay, you needed to go home. With a shake of your head you entered the car. Foot on the pedal and music loud Billy tore through the quiet streets of Hawkins, bringing you in front of your house quicker than you thought possible.

“Thanks Billy. I’ll see you soon.” You said, taking off your seatbelt, you leaned across the console to lightly kiss him, he brought a hand to deepen the kiss and with a laugh you pulled away, “I’ve got to go.”

He wrinkled his nose in displeasure but nodded, “soon?” he asked.

You nodded, getting out of the car, “definitely soon.”

He nodded and you closed the door to the car and he was off. Tearing down the street, the roar of the Camaro unusually loud in the quiet night air.

With a laugh at his expense you entered the house, turning on the lights as you went, entering the kitchen just as Steve was leaving.

“Oh! Y/n. I didn’t hear you come in.” He stepped back and grinned.

“Sorry yeah just got here.” You said, shoving your hands in your pockets.

His eyes travelled down your face to your neck and you had to stop yourself from covering them. You knew Billy loved to kiss your neck, loved to see the hickeys and marks that he knew were from him. You’d had a rule for nothing visible before, but that’d been forgotten now.

Steve’s jaw clenched as he saw the marks, then he met your eyes, “did you...have fun?” he said slowly.

You narrowed your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest, “I did, what’s your issue?”

In a moment, all previous evidence of his displeasure disappeared as he shrugged, he looked away, “Nothing. I should go anyways,” he pushed past you, only to stop at the door and nod, “See you later y/n.” he muttered and the door was closing before you could say anything else.

You let out a loud sigh, and with a roll of your eyes at his behaviour, you went up to bed. It had been quite the night.

-message me to be tagged-

[callmenateybird]

Depression Never Drove Me To Attempt Suicide; Being Bullied While Depressed Did

I don’t wanna relive my bullying hellscape today but I can’t shake the feeling that people still just continue to blame the brains of suicidal people for any and all suicidal acts.

I’ve experienced depression for a long time. I was lucky that depression alone never led me to a suicide attempt. Being bullied along with being depressed, however, did. I need to use my own experience as an example to get through to people about this today.

Spring 2016: I dated a person I met on The List App (just what it sounds like - a list-making app created by BJ Novak). I went out to CA to be with her for 2 months. She felt it was moving too fast, but didn’t tell me for awhile. Eventually she did, we broke up, I was crushed, I went back to OH to be with family. I whined, I pitied myself, I spoke about the breakup on List.

Eventually, friends of my ex decided this was too much & brought my ex & others into a FB group chat, where they shit talked & mused that I had been manipulative & that I’d threatened self harm.

This was the first in two instances now of upping the ante of false accusation. First, from whining & taking a breakup hard -> manipulation & threats of self harm, then, a year ago right around this time, upping the ante again to “abuser.” More on that in a bit.

Back to 2016 — August, as the group chat began. I had been listing about the upcoming 2 year anniversary of my dad’s passing — Aug 10. On the night of the 9th, my ex’s close friend did what I guess was an accidental like of an old list of mine. At the time, it seemed odd because she wasn’t following me and we’d had conflict with each other on Twitter about a week before.

The next day, it made sense why she’d been far back in my old lists. As I listed about the anniversary of my dad’s passing, parody accounts began to go public.

The first was called Predator. My screen shots here were taken later (I was too upset to screenshot anything the day it all happened) after the name was changed to “Chris, Kay?” to target one List guy these people hated. The original name on the account was “Chrislie K. Veshester” — a mashup of the names of 3 of us from List.

In the second and third screenshots, you’ll see parts of a list. This list has direct excerpts from lists the 3 of us guys had previously posted (gathering lines from old lists the night before…yes, bullies go to great efforts to bully). The writing and recording line, the bravery line, the baggage line, the body is your friend line, the quote of Coyote Hours (an album about the death of my father) — all from me & gleefully twisted into being somehow creepy or wrong.

The line “I try to get others to take care of me” didn’t seem to come from any of us, but seems more to be a line from my ex’s friend’s imagination that reflects how those people saw me in the wake of that breakup.

Also launched that day, in tandem, was the Flounce account (to flounce means to announce that you’re leaving a community, which I had done the night before my dad anniversary, because of what I was going through at the time). I later was told this was created by Jack Waz, an employee of List. The first few followers on the account — my bullies, “Jo-Ann Fabrics” (another parody account by Jack), & even List creator BJ Novak.

Also popping up that day was this dormant “imacreep” account where luckily no new vitriol was added — but you can see, based on the few lists that account had “liked,” that it came from the same group of people.

You can also see, from the few likes on the predator account, that it came from the same group of people.

On Aug 10, I had a nervous breakdown after seeing all of this. The passing of a parent is a deep trauma and, only 2 years out, was obviously very fresh for me. It is an event that is almost sacred in a way, & part of the unhealable scarring of my bullying experience is that this sacred date was snatched away from me, and tainted by this awful social media experience. I now forever associate the day my dad died with being bullied.

On September 1st, an older guy from the group chat sent me an unsolicited harassing email, after being given my contact info by my ex. I had just called her to ask if she would be completing some album artwork she’d promised to do for me around the time of our breakup. I hadn’t heard from her in ages (this was before I knew she was involved in the group chat), so I took one last chance at reaching out about it. In the email from this guy, I was summarily smacked down for “not respecting her boundaries” and told very cruelly by him that she didn’t want to do my art, or hear from me ever again.

In mid September 2016, a former friend told me everything about the group chat. She had been brought into it and pressured/intimidated (by, among others, men in their late 30s — she was in her early 20s, as were a few other women in the group chat) to “provide receipts” of me talking about my breakup. She was forced to “denounce” me and swear she’d never talk to me again.

She named names to me in September and let me know who was involved. I learned that my ex — who had been silent through all the stuff in August — was in the group chat, participated, and watched it all go down. A couple days later, I began a suicide attempt.

The ordeal led to both myself and my mom being hospitalized (she has a heart condition). Thankfully, we both came out of the ordeal ok.

Plenty more vitriol was unleashed on List after August 10th. I was lucky that much of it didn’t involve me (another guy from List got it worse than I did). One older guy from the group chat did a particularly nasty “sublist” and a few other remarks came out here and there, but it seemed to be dying down finally.

Through the fall, I began to find balance again. I returned to List with a new account, and took small steps in standing up for myself.

In November, I confronted my ex about what I knew, in an attempt to make peace. She expressed some regret, but never really apologized in a way that felt adequate to me, nor would she concede that her friends had bullied me and that she had condoned it.

In December, I returned to CA to resume the life I’d begun building when I was dating my ex. I had been dreaming of living in Southern California since the trip to scatter my dad’s ashes there in fall of 2014, and I was using the last chunk of inheritance money I’d gotten to get myself re-established in Orange County.

In January of 2017, I finally realized that my ex was never going to apologize to me for everything, so I launched a text tirade of criticisms her way and stopped speaking to her.

But in the next few months, I faltered in that commitment and sent her three harassing emails. Since the previous fall, I had begun an agonizing habit of digital cutting (creeping on social media that you know is bad for your mental health) and snooped on her accounts, plus those of her friends and family. It is a habit that I have yet to fully shake, even all this time later. The three emails I sent all involved seeing things she’d liked on social media and being angry or jealous about them. I finally stooped to the level of the people who harassed me, and I harassed her. After the final of those three emails, in April of 2017, she wrote back and said she’d file a harassment order if I contacted her again, and I never contacted her again.

But I continued to grow more and more emboldened in standing up for myself publicly, and over the course of 2017 it became a huge part of my social media (especially on Twitter) to speak openly about my experience being bullied, harassed, and ganged up on.

In June of 2017, I was walking in a park in my ex’s town and saw her. A few days later, many of the ladies from List were tagged in a massive Twitter thread. For some reason, a few of us guys from the app were tagged as well. Later that day, my ex’s friend from the group chat - the one who had made the “Predator” account - subtweeted that these List ladies in the mass tagging had “an abuser among [them].” The ante of false accusation had been upped again, from whining and self pity and taking a breakup hard -> manipulation and threats of self harm -> abuse.

This subtweet alone, which I’d only discovered because of my continuing struggle with digital cutting (creeping online), sent me reeling on the verge of another breakdown. I knew that things were heating up culturally, that the imperative to believe women was more important than ever. And now, for the first time, I had to face that dissenting argument from the trolls who don’t like the prioritization of believing women no matter what — “what if somebody falsely accuses someone just to fuck up their life?” But even then, I brought myself back from the brink (with much help from my therapy sessions, my support system of family and friends, my writing, and the good-for-the-soul environment of southern California).

I even had a phone call later that summer with the friend who’d told me about the group chat, where I explained to her that I still acknowledged the importance of believing women, even if I was experiencing a false accusation. I told her that I was trying to hold onto the understanding that the cultural prioritization of listening to and believing women was bigger than me, more important than me.

But I also continued to speak openly about being bullied, and now included the mention of being implied to be an emotional abuser, all through 2017 until finally standing up for myself on social media impacted my real life once more. A few days before Christmas, after a really good period of no digital cutting for the entire month of December so far, I had a weak moment one evening and looked at the social media of my ex and her family. On her mom’s Instagram, I saw a repost from my ex’s private account where she’d said she had gone to the police station to file a report about “a year and a half of harassment, stalking, and general creepiness.” (A year and a half would be going back to right when we broke up - we were still on good terms then - and six months before our friendly if flawed semi-clearing of the air in late 2016). In her mom’s repost, she said “if we see this guy in our neighborhood again, we are coming after him!” I saw this — and hope you will understand my seeing it this way — as a threat of physical harm. If “our neighborhood” meant seeing me on their street, well that was never going to happen. But if it meant seeing me in their whole entire town — like I’d seen her in a park last June — well, what was I supposed to do about being seen in an entire town??

I was terrified, and made a hasty decision two days later (Christmas Eve) to leave my Orange County long term Airbnb about two months before the end of my lease. I struggled for about a month to stay afloat in LA, looking for a new space. But my savings was too low to handle the temporary added expenses of new Airbnbs and hotels, and by early February of 2018 I decided I had to throw in the towel and go back to Ohio to regroup with family until I could afford to be out west again.

And that is my ordeal, to date.

I took a breakup badly, and cried and cried and said “I can’t take it anymore” (the closest I came to “threats of self harm,” as were the initial accusations from the group chat). And all because of taking a breakup badly —

I was ganged up on, parodied, mocked, and bullied on the two year anniversary of the death of my father.

The actual creators/employees of the app where I was bullied - including BJ Novak himself - celebrated and *participated in* bullying me.

I suffered a nervous breakdown.

I attempted suicide.

My mom was sent into the hospital with a heart scare, from watching what I was going through and reacting emotionally as most mothers would.

I drained thousands of dollars from my savings for additional therapy, spiritual counseling, and cross country travel (twice).

I literally left my home because I felt unwelcome and physically unsafe in Orange County, after being threatened with violence by my ex’s mother. 

And now I exist in this particular moment on social media, where the valiant and important efforts of the #metoo movement are still sometimes misrepresented by cold statements like “don’t ever fucking tell me that a false accusation ruins a man’s life.”

Even if you set aside my experience of being ganged up on and bullied, of being called a creep for being friends with women who were younger than me in a social media community, of being accused of manipulation and emotional abuse, it should be understandable as a general isolated statement — When we talk about someone’s life being ruined, we have to look at more than just their external life. We have to also look at their internal life.

And rest assured — beyond all the external stuff I just listed, my internal life has been forever impacted by being bullied and by being called “abuser.”

I can no longer say I have never attempted suicide. After years of living with depression and being proud of myself for never giving into the darkest of places, I now have experienced a suicide attempt. I now have experienced being called an abuser. And who knows what else I may experience as repercussions for posting this essay with screenshots and names, since the past two years of interacting with bullies has shown me very clearly that bullies always — ALWAYS — win.

We now live in an age where bullies are empowered by important cultural movements. They sneak in through weak spots, they use amped up language and terms that they know will attract attention. They are stronger than ever.

But the part of the narrative that my bullies and threateners will always leave out of their callouts - their own screenshot exposés of past and possibly future - is the part where they bullied and harassed first. My own instances of email harassment of my ex, my own flawed and self destructive habit of creeping online — these are personal flaws that arose AFTER being bullied. That part of their narrative will always be conveniently scrapped from the record. Bullying proves the age old saying — hurt people hurt people.

And so now, two years after my ordeal began, I try to be mindful that angry statements can verge on harassment, I do less and less digital cutting, I try to be a good person and to value the people who value me.

But when famous people are lost to suicide, and the conversation zeroes in squarely on mental illness and mental health, I just cannot abide the ignoring of so many other cultural factors that lead people to no longer want to live on this planet.

Whether the factors are due to marginalization, systemic oppression, economic hopelessness, ageism, a broken health care system, disease and physical pain, or a bullying ordeal like mine — there are an endless number of external environmental forces that drive people to suicide besides their own pure brain chemistry. And remember, environmental doesn’t just mean places and things — it means people. Many of those external forces that drive people to suicide involve how the people are treated by the others in their environment.

I have experienced depression for much of my life. But it was only being bullied that finally pushed me to the brink. This screenshot below shows the folks from the group chat. Some of them were silent bystanders, but they all watched it go down and did nothing to stop it. They are all complicit.

These are my bullies.

And if I have to live forever with being bullied the day my dad died, with having attempted suicide, with watching my mom go into the hospital, with being called an abuser and whatever else I’ll be called between two years ago and the end of my life, then they will have to live with being called bullies. And even if this post is removed, even if this account is suspended or deleted, I will continue to speak up and speak out when I am bullied or when I see others being bullied. I will not stand for it ever again.

Because all the things those people took away from me left a gaping hole inside me. And, so far, I have only found a couple things with which to sufficiently fill that hole — the understanding of my very loving and supportive family and friends, and love and respect for myself. Standing up for myself is just one of the ways I have learned to love and respect myself, ever since the ordeal that scarred my life forever.

June 12: I decided to add an afterword to this essay, a sort of “FAQ” to address a question I’ve been asked a few times in one form or another. 

The question: Do you talk about your bullying experience so much because you want your bullies to feel bullied?

No.

First, "bullying bullies" isn't a thing much like how reverse racism isn't a thing. To be a broken record - to continually expose the bullying act & “Scarlet Letter” the perpetrators - is the only power a bullying victim has, since the act of bullying unfortunately isn't treated like a punishable crime, especially when it’s done online (even though being bullied has robbed me financially and wounded me - and my family - both physically and emotionally).

Second, I talk about this as much as I do because I want the people who bullied me to feel haunted by the consequences of their actions (and inactions, in the case of those who watched and condoned) - actions they probably felt, at the time, were not a big deal. To have spoken about it publicly for almost three years is an effort at making them feel so haunted by their behavior that they not only never bully another person again, but that they *themselves* become dedicated anti-bullying crusaders. It sounds almost laughable - and certainly would to them, as cynical as they are - but I am trying to make a difference in these few peoples’ lives. You can label it crudely as “badgering,” which I feel does a disservice to me by downplaying the severity of what happened to me, but whatever you call my continued persistence in talking about this experience - it is persistence that aims to make a few people more decent and mindful of their past and future behavior.

[wbwest]

New Post has been published on WilliamBruceWest.com

New Post has been published on http://www.williambrucewest.com/2017/07/28/west-week-ever-pop-culture-review-72817/

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review - 7/28/17

One of the best discoveries I’ve made has been the digital subchannel Heroes & Icons. If you’re a cord cutter, then get yourself an antenna and check this thing out. My favorite aspect of it, however, is the fact that it runs a 5-hour Star Trek block six nights a week. Star Trek at 8, Star Trek: The Next Generation at 9, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine at 10, Star Trek: Voyager at 11, and Enterprise at 12. Sunday through Friday. And on Sundays they actually kick things off with Star Trek: The Animated Series at 7. I’ve pretty much watched nothing but Star Trek for the past 2 weeks. I’ve been reacquainted with favorite episodes, like TNG‘s “Chain of Command” and DS9‘s “Far Beyond the Stars”. I’ve discovered some hidden gems, like TOS‘s ” The Cloud Minders”. I’ve even discovered that I don’t hate Voyager or Enterprise as much as I thought I did.

I don’t talk about this too much, but the first 12 years or so of my life were comprised of pretty much NOTHING but Star Trek. From 1987-94, my favorite show on television was The Next Generation. When DS9 debuted, I expected it to continue my love affair, but it felt too preachy with its Space Holocaust allegory. It was in the later seasons, once the Dominion War began, that it actually ensconced itself as my favorite iteration of the franchise. By the time Voyager debuted, I had discovered comics, and they became my new mistress. While I watched about 4 hours of TNG a day in high school (Channel 20 REALLY loved playing TNG), my heart didn’t have room in it for a new Trek, so I “No time for love, Dr. Jones”‘ed Captain Janeway and her crew. Enterprise debuted when I was in college, and  I was simply too busy worried about other shit to watch Captain Quantum Leap and his crew. Plus, due to some kind of contractual fallout, Ithaca didn’t get UPN. So, since the finale of DS9, my Trekkerdom lay dormant.

But when I say “I’ve forgotten more than you’ll ever know”, that’s primarily about Star Trek. I had several editions of the Star Trek Encyclopedia, I had the Technical Manual, the Technical Journal, the Star Trek Chronology. All of it. I’ve got the figures, and the role play toys. I even created my own uniform for Halloween back in the 90s. I was all Trek, 24/7, and you couldn’t tell me shit. Over time, though, that trivia got overwritten by X-Men 1st appearance notations and the names of TNBC actresses. What I’m saying, though, is that Heroes & Icons brought it all rushing back. It’s like I’m 15 again, blowing the evening watching Star Trek episodes I’ve already seen hundreds of times already. It’s also given me new perspectives on things that completely went over my head when I was younger. For example, Sisko is the Bajorans’ Space Jesus, and that’s pretty heavy. Even he doesn’t believe it, but in the end, yup it turns out he’s Space Jesus. I’ve also got thoughts on the current state of the franchise, too.

At SDCC, we got the above trailer for Star Trek: Discovery, which will air in North America on CBS All Access (yes, Dean, I know you’ll say All Anal Access because it sucks that we have to subscribe to another service just to watch this thing). I had no interest in this show because everything I heard about it didn’t sound like Star Trek. Now, though, the more they try to sell it as a bunch of new ideas, the more it just sounds like DS9. It’s gonna be Trek with interpersonal conflict. Great. I can get down with that. Its aesthetic seems more like late-era Stargate than Trek, though – especially those Klingon designs. There are certain things, though, that still feel like they miss the mark.

Take for example the fact that the show will feature the first same-sex couple on a Star Trek series, played by Rent‘s Anthony Rapp and My So Called Life‘s Wilson Cruz. Yeah, I get that representation is important, but it bothers me that this is being done in a prequel series, set before the events of the original Star Trek. With the exception of Enterprise, this is the series that takes place the closest to our timeline, so it’s really not much of a leap to think that same-sex couples exist. Ya know what would’ve meant more to me (as a straight, cis male who really doesn’t have a dog in the race but is still opinionated)? If the show had actually been a post-Dominion War, sequel series to TNG/DS9/Voyager, and it featured a same-sex couple. Science fiction tends to go 2 ways: it’s either dystopian or it’s about HOPE. As it stands, from what we’ve seen, same-sex couples are pretty much nonexistent in the 24th century. Yeah, I’m sure they exist, but we never saw them. It seems like it would be a testament to how enduring they are to see them that far in the future as opposed to just a couple of hundred years from now, when Discovery is set.

I could also be politicizing this for my own agenda, as I really want to know what happened after the war ended. Sure, there are books and stuff, but those things aren’t canon. I feel there are so many stories to tell from that era, and I’d love to see the franchise move forward instead of dance between the raindrops of continuity in the past. It feels like they’re stalling, which is how it felt with Enterprise and even the Kelvin movies. Someone, somewhere out there has got to have a great idea as to how to move the franchise forward and I hope CBS/Paramount finds them sooner rather than later.

SDCC Bullet Points

The bulk of San Diego Comic Con took place over the weekend, and here’s some stuff that debuted:

Michelle Pfeiffer is Hank Pym’s lost wife, Janet Van Dyne, in Ant-Man and The Wasp

The Captain Marvel film will be set in the 90s, and introduce the Skrulls to the MCU. Oh, and Nick Fury will have 2 eyes

We got this trailer for Ready Player One, which was hella polarizing. It seems a lot of folks hated the book on which it’s based. If you ask me, it just looks like a cinematic version of this commercial:

Comic creator Frank Miller, of 300 and Sin City fame, is writing a Superman: Year One story with art from John Romita Jr. Nothing about that sentence makes me want to open my wallet.

We got a new trailer for X-Men spinoff, The Gifted. I’m actually surprised they used established mutants like Polaris and Thunderbird. And is that actually Fenris?! I want to like this, but it just looks so…Fox.

We got a new trailer for The Defenders on Netflix. I get that this is the culmination of all the Marvel Netflix shows, but it didn’t do much for me since I’ve only seen 2 out of 5 seasons so far. There’s no way I’ll get caught up by this premiere date, but I’m sure it’ll mean more to me once I’m up to date. Kinda tired of the hallway fight trope, though.

Legends of Tomorrow is such a fun show. It started kinda dry, but got so much better last year. It reminds me of a syndicated Saturday afternoon show, but in a good way.

This Justice League trailer did very little for me. It’s like, sure, Wonder Woman’s cool, but we JUST saw her. Aquaman seems cool, but he’s not really “Aquaman”. I’ll see it, but I ain’t looking forward to it. No, for me, November belongs to:

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

We’ll have to wait a bit longer for our annual dose of Abbi and Ilana, as Comedy Central has moved the Broad City season 4 premiere from August 23rd to September 13th

A few months ago, it was reported that Amy Schumer would be starring in a Barbie movie. Well, I made fun of that, she blocked me on Twitter, and then eventually dropped out of the role. Now they’re reporting that Anne Hathaway is up for the role, which is somehow more bewildering than the Schumer choice…

Justin Bieber cancelled the rest of his Purpose world tour because he was “committing his life to Christ”. This pissed off his crew, as they were left without jobs. He, then, proceeded to run over a paparazzo with his truck while leaving church. I swear, you can’t make this shit up!

Amazon’s Jeff Bezos has replaced Bill Gates as the richest man in the world.

Beginning September 29th, Hulu will begin streaming the Warner Bros shows that comprised ABC’s TGIF lineup, including Perfect Strangers, Family Matters, Full House, Hangin’ With Mr. Cooper, and Step By Step. Meanwhile, Netflix is feverishly developing Perfecter Strangers, Family Still Matters, Chillin’ With Mr. Cooper, and Step By Step By Step.

I haven’t seen a non-country music video in years, but apparently they still make them, as Katy Perry will host the 2017 MTV Video Music Awards

Speaking of the VMAs, following the lead of the MTV Movie Awards, they’re doing away with the gendered categories Best Male/Best Female Artist, to be replaced by Artist of the Year. Also, in a bit of pandering,  they’ve created the Best Fight Against the System, for those artists who have called for folks to #RESIST and all that.

Though I felt its farcical nature wore a bit thin during its first season, TBS’s Angie Tribeca has been renewed for season 4.

Smallville‘s Tom Welling is joining Fox’s Lucifer and *yawn* that’s really all there is to say about that.

Netflix has ordered 20 episodes of the animated series Disenchantment from The Simpsons creator Matt Groening. It will features the voices of Nat Faxon, Eric Andre, and Abbi Jacobson. Apparently it’s about elves and trolls and shit. Not really my bag, baby.

Person of Interest‘s Michael Emerson has been cast in a mysterious role for Arrow‘s 6th season. So, he’s probably Deathstroke’s accountant or something.

Because SyFy just doesn’t care anymore, and because they need something to air between Sharknados, Wynonna Earp has been renewed for a 3rd season.

The Wonder Woman sequel has a release date of December 13th, 2019

Apple discontinued the iPod Nano and Shuffle models, as they are the last remaining models that cannot run iOS apps.

Current Superman Henry Cavill grew a mustache for his role in Mission Impossible 37: Mission Harder, which will have to be digitally removed for Justice League reshoots. Ya know, the movie where he’s supposed to be dead, but is actually the worst kept secret in Hollywood.

Lionel Richie and Charlie Puth are in talks to join ABC’s American Idol reboot as judges. Yeah, that’s funny. Unless they’re coaching the contestants on how to get caught cheating while dancing on the ceiling, I’m not sure what Richie’s old ass brings to the table. And Puth is simply too new to be judging anybody.

New James Bond film in 2019. Nobody knows who’s playing him or directing the thing, but it’s coming. Yesiree, Bob!

Since they’re handing out cinematic universes like chicken samples at a food court, the John Wick universe will be expanded by the female-focused film, Ballerina.

Michael Phelps raced a CGI shark and people felt betrayed. He’s the friggin’ son of Poseidon! He can’t race ACTUAL sharks! There would be civil unrest beneath the surface!

With DC being the political capital of the country, it’s hard for a news person to stand out because the place is crawling with them. That wasn’t true, however, for Jim Vance. Everyone knew him and the man was an institution. Coming to NBC4 in 1969, he was one of the first Black anchors in a major news market. He anchored for over 4 decades, ingraining himself into the families of those who watched him.

When I was a toddler, I was really into the local news (I’ve always said I’m regressing as I get older), and I could name every anchor on every local newscast. And this was a golden age of DC news. You had the great Glenn Brenner, you had Maury Povich before he became a talk show host, and you had Vance. There was something about him that made him seem like your aunt’s cool boyfriend. He was an old man with a hoop earring. We used to laugh about it, but secretly I was hating because I knew I’d never be able to pull that off at his age. He rode motorcycles and laughed inappropriately at news stories he found funny. He was a guy who made you glad to watch the news, especially as the cries of Fake News! grew louder.

Back in May, Vance announced that he had been diagnosed with cancer, and it advanced rather quickly. He passed away last Saturday morning, and the announcement touched all corners of the DC area (no, I’m not calling it the DMV!). It was touching to see all of the tributes to him on the local stations, from those who were colleagues and competitors. Last Saturday night, News4 spent the entire 11 PM news talking about Vance and what he meant to DC. This might sound crazy, but it was so refreshing to watch the news without a single drop of actual news being reported. No Trump b.s., no local murders, not even a weather report. Just 30 minutes about a man who we basically grew up with in our homes. I always kinda took him for granted because you just expected he would be there every evening, but I’ve certainly missed him since he’s gone. I know he won’t mean much to those of you outside the DC viewing area, but believe me when I say that everybody here knew who Jim Vance was, and we’re all going to miss him in one way or another. For that reason, Jim Vance had the West Life Ever.

[dinoalexander]

The Semi-Quotable 2017 Part 4

I never had his problem with Livejournal. I’ve had several problems but never this... Part 4.

——

"Note to terrorists: During WWII, London endured this thing called 'The Blitz'. Google it. They will endure your petty stupidity. Note to Trump: During WWII, London endured this thing called 'The Blitz'. Google it. They will endure your petty stupidity. Keep calm and carry on." -Kevin

"When you scroll to find your name, don't see your name for a really long time, and wonder if you could have squeezed just a couple more fucks in there. Missed fucking opportunities!" -Laura

Jay: "Who doesn't love a Brazilian steak?"

Joe: "Who doesn't love a Brazilian ass!"

C: "Who doesn't love a Brazilian?"

"As soon as American Idol came to America, we were all fucked." -Jenna

"This isn't football, it's boy bands!" -Q

"To quote the great philosopher Cornell Haynes Jr., it's getting hot in herre." -C

"I'll always love UNC but Gonzaga destroyed Tokyo." -Austin

"Make chicken salad out of that chicken shit!" -Q

"If one more person adds me to LulaNotLemon group without asking me, I swear I am going to find every pair of leggings on this island and burn them in a huge bonfire at Bayview Park. #YouveBeenWarned" -Shannon

"Stranger at Walmart just coughed in my face. So I have two, maybe three days to live." -Q

"I got some antibiotics for the bug I've had for over a week. I think it's adorable that CVS colored the antibiotics green for St. Patrick's Day and they taste like mint. I think those lazy bastards just gave me a container of Tic Tacs." Klauss

"I used to date somebody with lazy eye, but she was seeing someone on the side." -Rammson

"Is that a thing? Because I just made it a thing." -Jordan

“What is the current bar for "most awkward human on the planet" in the Guinness Book of World Records? Cause I wouldn't mind getting something back for all my suffering.” -Christina

“You’re like a WetJet with a lab degree!” -Q, on cleaning up the ER doc’s messes

“Supporting my husband’s love for this awful team.” -Kyle

“THANKS FOR NOTHING, CRABTREE!” -Robin

"Had homey on some Globetrotter shit." -Jabari

"NBC: Where Every Night at 8 PM is Fuckin' Christmas." -Klauss

“Diane, it’s ‪Tuesday, August 1st‬ and I’ve stumbled upon quite a few mysteries here at Fashion Peaks. Tully the horse has been sent to the glue factory, The Ascension has a very peculiar taste in music, and my partner, Deputy Dango, has been abducted - possibly by extraterrestrials. That leaves me with two questions: One, who kidnapped Fandango? Two, why didn’t I just call you instead of record this?” – Tyler Breeze

“Wait, so that giraffe still hasn't given birth? Have we explored the possibility that the zookeeper just overfed her a few months ago and lied instead of admitting the mistake?” - Nedeff

“Just finished watching ‪Die Hard‬ for the first time (we can discuss later). ‪Die Hard‬ is 100% not a Christmas Movie. Just because it ends with Christmas Music doesn’t make it a Christmas Movie.” ��� Dan O’Toole with the most wrong hot take of 2017

“We're still gonna get near-daily articles trying to Understand The Le Pen Voter though right” @pattymo

“Of course any portrayal of a real-life figure is about so much more than physical resemblance, but come on guys: how did they NOT cast Christopher Plummer as J. Paul Getty in the first place?” – Richard Roeper

“Danny Ainge the only American who can outsmart a Russian.” – David Dennis Jr.

“The Yankees haven’t been in the playoffs in a while so I forgot how punchable Brett Gardner’s face is” – Brad Rutter

“HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” – Dougie Jones

“There’s no fucking way he sold 200 Streamdaddy’s” – Prez on IYH

“By far the most bizarre trivia fact about Dean Stockwell to me is that he’s a trained martial artist.” – Allison Pregler

“Don’t Worry, We’ll Let You Know When The Last Surviving World War II Veteran Dies” - ClickHole

“And I thought Ashley Judd’s sleaziest boss was Benjamin Horne.” – Ken Jennings

“Because hey, if you lose $35 Million one time, try try again!” – Scott Keith on Vince McMahon relaunching the XFL

“I don't recommend going to Wal-Mart 2 days before Christmas. And by "2 days before Christmas", I mean ever.” – BFG

“Pepsi: That was the biggest PR blunder of the week, year maybe.

United: Hold My Beer

Sean Spicer: LEEEEEEEEEERROOOOOOOY JEEEENNNNNNKINS!” - @Lance_Bradley

“IF THE TITANIC HAPPENED TODAY: “Sir, we’re heading straight for that iceberg. / That’s a fake iceberg. / Sir, it’s a mountain of ice and it’s right in front of us. / Full speed ahead! / Sir, we just hit the iceberg and now we’re sinking...Sir?...Women & children first, Sir...” – Jeff Daniels

“Hot on the heels of his triumphant rebranding of MySpace, Justin Timberlake brings sexy back to the NFL.” – Kevin M.

“Derek Jeter is so freaking hot. I hate the Yankees!” – Greg’s friend Kat’s mother

"Marty Jannetty couldn't buy a date..." thankfully 24 years later Marty will make sure his dates don't share his DNA...” - Dane

“Next year's State of the Union should have an In Memoriam montage with everyone who's been fired.” - Nedeff

“What can bring an end to an angry dance montage? FUCKING ‘NAM!” – The Cinema Snob

“IT’S NOT ABOUT THE BUNNY! ………… Is it about the Bunny? ………. No, it’s not about the bunny.” – Tommy “Hawk” Hill

“WARREN WHAT DID YOU DO!?!?” -Jimmy Kimmel after the Oscar Best Picture fuckup

“GOODBYE AOL INSTANT MESSENGER GO FUCK YOURSELF” – The Iron Sheik

“A producer pitches a show to an NBC executive.

"Wow me."

"Okay- it's The OJ Simpson Trial... but wacky!"

"Go on..."

"It's a procedural comedy where we don't know whether he did it until the end of the season!"

"But... this is a murder, right? Someone dies?"

"Oh, yes- good 'n' dead."

"I see... and who were you thinking would play the role of the is-he-isn't-he murderer?"

"The Trinity Killer from Dexter, John Lithgow."

"Dick Solomon?! GREENLIGHT THAT ISH" - Fard

“EVERYTHING TRUMP TOUCHES DIES!” – Rick Wilson

“Can’t believe Weinstein didn’t go with the old “locker room talk” defense.” – Matthew Yglesias

“So here's what we're gonna do. Without my knowledge, my husband came to you for a loan of $20,000. You were nice enough to give it to him. But he should never have been gambling like that. I'm gonna pay you back. Now, at my bank, where we make less than one percent interest on what little money we have, people would be turning cartwheels just to get 25 percent interest on any loan, and that is what I'm generously gonna give to you right now, $25,000. That is my first, last, and only offer to you. What kind of world are we living in where people can behave like this? Treat other people this way without any compassion or feeling for their suffering? We are living in a dark, dark age, and you are part of the problem. Now, I suggest you take a good, long look at yourselves because I never want to see either of you again.” – Janey-E Jones

“If professional wrestling isn't real why have I spent the past hour watching Bobby "The Brain" Heenan videos quietly alone in my hotel room?” – Tom Arnold

Gordon Cole: “We’re not anywhere near Mount Rushmore.”

Albert Rosenfield: “I brought a picture for you.”

Gordon Cole: (Looks at picture) “There they are Albert, faces of stone.”

“This is pretty exciting to be apart of this nomination for @VeepHBO especially since my mom watched the entire last season of Madame Secretary and was confused why I was never on it.” – Paul Scheer

“Nice to know that while other industries are turning to tablets and screens, game show hosts are still plugging away with those little cards.” – SC Duncan

“We will remember the unappreciative, ungreatful, evil, awful, Anthem owl men and the man who’s fond of slapping nuts on how they treated us on our exodus from Impact Wrestling YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!” – Matt Hardy shooting on Double J’s business practices

“Steve Bannon gets tonight’s Last Word – which for him, is the complete silence of utter humiliation” – Lawrence O’Donnell

“SHOVEL YOUR WAY OUT OF THE SHIT!” – Dr. Lawrence Jacoby

“Sorry I took your suit. I mean, you had it coming. Actually, it turns out it was the perfect sort of tough love moment that you needed, to urge you on, right? Don't you think? Let's just say it was. Look, you screwed the pooch hard. Big time. But then you did the right thing: you took the dog to the clinic, you raised the hybrid puppies... alright, not my best analogy. I just wanted to mention that I think with a little more mentoring, you could be a real asset to the team. There's about 50 reporters behind that door, real ones, not bloggers, so when you're ready...” – Tony Stark

“In the Alabama Senate Race, the predicted result among many pundits was a narrow margin of victory. Roy Moore himself, however, was hoping for a shocker in the teens.” – Nedeff

“Sports Illustrated called and said I was probably going to be Sportsman of the Year, but it was going to take a long photo shoot and interview. I’m not proud of my recent perm and have a interpretive dance class at the interview time so I turned it down! No Thanks SI!!” – Noah Syndergaard

“Wow, if I had invested $1,000 in Bitcoin last week, today I would have... still no idea how Bitcoin works.” - @StephenAtHome

“In a confusing twist, Han Solo's name will be revealed to be Luther Campbell.” – Jeff Gerstmann

“Lordy, I hope there are tapes!” – James Comey

“This is the water, and this is the well. Drink full, and descend. The horse is the white of the eyes, and dark within.” – The Woodsman in Episode 8 of Twin Peaks: The Return 

“We need some loving profiles of a small town in northern Alabama that thinks obstruction of justice is fine because Drumpf respects cops.” – Matthew Yglesias

“Why are Greg Gumbel and Seth Davis sitting at a desk for ants?” – Andrew Bucholtz

How many more of these things will Tumblr tolerate? Stay tuned...