#I swear I’m only getting worse lately and even if I’m more calm/relaxed in general it’s come at a huge cost

[sayanything666]

after a couple weeks of violent depression and another week of having gross shit in my lungs i finally almost felt better but Boy did I wake up in a mood today

[wastelandlovingscenarios]

I want this to be a short request but how would crushing!companions react to sole who holds their hand whenever they get scared and it slowly turns into a habit for them to always hold onto his hand?

omg this is literally so cute, bye. 🥺💗 i hope you enjoy, anon.

to keep it short, i’ll just write their reactions to when sole holds their hand and i will put ‘companions react to sole holding their hand as a habit’ in a separate post! <3

-

Danse:

it’s nothing new in his life— he’s experienced his fair share of people holding onto him during stressful and terrifying situations, so it’s something he’s used to. however, sole is an exception in this case. it’s been quite a while since he’s caught feelings for his companion, so it’s different in certain situations with them.

when they first get startled and hold his hand, he tenses up, his mind going completely blank as they wrap their fingers around his palm. though millions of people have done the same action to him in the past, this one feels different and he swears it makes him feel emotions he’s never truly felt before. before he can question what their intentions were, he noticed how they drew closer to him, eyes frantically scanning their surroundings and he realizes that there may have been an uncomfortable presence around.

so danse slowly takes a breath and squeezes their hand in return, looking down at them with red cheeks and a nervous expression. “you’re safe, don’t worry. if there appears to be any threat within our vacinity, i will neutralize it as best as i can.” when they look at him with a relieved smile, he feels his heart swell with emotions he’s never felt in his lifetime. he doesn’t dare to let go until sole feels safe enough to do so and even when they do, he fights the urge to take their hand in his once more.

instead, he impatiently waits for the next time he has the chance to hold their hand in his again, already excited though he refuses to admit it.

Deacon:

deacons not a very affection man nor has he received any affection from any other individual besides his late other half. To say this situation was terrifying for him was an understatement. he’s probably already dreading the fact that he has an unavoidable crush for his companion, not wanting to deal with that type of stress no longer.

the first time his crush rushes to hold his hand out of fear of their surroundings, he immediately pulls away out of habit and stares at them with a lump in his throat, words scrambled and refusing to leave his mouth for a moment. “i-, uh-“

with a mortified expression, sole waves it off with a flush on their face and an embarrassed tone, “shit i’m sorry. it’s just a habit, please don’t mind me.” they slowly distance themselves away from him and deacon quickly gets his act together, inwardly panicking that he may have hurt their feelings unintentionally. “no, it’s fine. i just- uh.” they tilt their head with a confused expression and instead of explaining himself, he lets out a soft apology and awkwardly goes on his way to save him the embarrassment. when he thinks about it later, he feels a pang of guilt hit him and realizes he may have been too harsh, so he tries to make an exception.

next time around, when sole does accidentally jump to grab his hand, it takes him a moment to calm himself down but does gather the courage to return the gesture. he would notice the surprised expression on soles face, and even though he’s internally losing it, he musters up the same shit eating smile he always has and cracks a joke; “charmer, i know it’s hard to stay away from me, but you could at least try.” when sole doesn’t respond and sends him a confused expression, he gives them a small smile and tugs their hand, “that’s okay though, i don’t mind. good ol’ deeks will scare the monsters away.”

when sole lets out a small chuckle, he feels himself grow agitated and immediately whips around to hide the blush on his face as he drags sole along with him. “we better get going if we wanna get outta this scary place. yknow, before you jump out of your shoes.”

Maccready:

he’s very to himself in most situations and values his personal space just as much as most people do in the commonwealth. he believes in a personal bubble and really enforces that idea, respecting his own personal space as well as others. however in this case, mac is probably just as scared as sole is, though he may be a lot better at hiding it.

when sole does grab his hand, he doesn’t give attention to it at first due to him being scared as well but when he does notice them showing signs of fear, he tries to reassure them, even though he’s flustered at the sudden contact. with a deep breath, he sucks in his negative emotions and decides to step up to bring comfort to them.

“hey, you okay?” when sole doesn’t respond, he just pulls them closer and squeezes their hand gently to grab their attention. when they do look at him, he smiles awkwardly, a inevitable blush dusting his cheeks. “earth to sole?”

when they explain their habit of doing so, he tries to lighten the mood by telling stories about his life in the capital wasteland and how he felt during his time at little lamplight, letting them know that he had similar fears and still continues to have them despite him experiencing the wasteland for years.

soon enough, their hands naturally find home in each other as they both continue exchanging similar experiences they’ve had, laughter filling the silence that sole feared just moments back.

Hancock:

hancocks a very touchy man and people do show him quite a lot of affection, so just like danse, he’s used to the constant attention others show him, only this time, the perspective is a little different. he enjoys it far more than other companions and doesn’t mind when they rush to hold his hand, though it catches him off guard.

for a moment, he processes the events occurring but once he does, he lets out a soft smile and a chuckles under his breath. he wants to let out a flirtatious comment or two, but fights the urge and instead, soothes their fear instead of embarrassing them.

“don’t worry, sunshine. you know i wouldn’t let anyone hurt you.” he’d rub his thumb against their knuckles and smiles when he sees the tenseness in their body melt away. “in fact..”

when he lets go of their hand, he sees the panic grow on their face and lets out a small chuckle. with a swift movement, he gently throws his arm over their shoulder and pulls them closer, rubbing their arm reassuringly.

“.. this might be a little more comforting. no matter what happens, i’ll always be ready to protect you this way. don’t you agree?” when they chuckle and nod at his suggestion, he pulls them closer to his body, whispering loud enough for them to hear.

“ ‘m always here for you, sunshine. you don’t ever have to be scared, especially with me around. don’t ever feel like you have to hide it from me.” sole lets out a small hum before leaning into his touch, trusting every word that left his mouth.

Nick Valentine:

nick is very understanding with a situation like this and doesn’t mind it one bit. though he does get a bit flustered, he tries to play out the scenario in a way where they won’t feel embarrassed about the events occurring. he’s aware that everyone has their fair share of fears, no matter how tough you play out to be.

“things can get pretty scary around here, i know.” when he smiles down at them, they feel a sense of ease and relax into his touch instead of having the urge to pull away. “waking up 200 years later in a completely different life will do that to you.”

sole would sigh and hold his hand tighter, their voice barely a whisper as their cheeks flush with embarrassment. “i wonder how you do it sometimes.”

nick lets out a small laugh at their reaction. “it wasn’t always like this, sweetheart. i was just as scared as you, maybe even worse.” sole looks at him with curiosity as he continues on, “theres always something new everyday but soon you’ll learn how to adapt to it.”

“you think so?”

“i know so.” his words are full of reassurance and comfort, allowing sole to let go of any negative feelings that filled their chest.

“good thing i have the best companion in the wasteland to guide me around this hellhole.” sole puts it out as a joke, but knows a part of it was the truth that she was wholeheartedly grateful for.

he proceeded to rub his thumb on their knuckles, feeling a sense of happiness in their comment, “i’ll do my best to meet your expectations, partner.”

Preston:

poor boy. he’d be a blushing mess if sole were to ever do something as simple as this. if they were to dart to grab his hand, even out of fear, he’d stutter in confusion, obviously flustered at the idea of them latching onto him. “w-what are you d-doing?”

his body would immediately freeze upon contact, stopping in his tracks despite the possibility of getting attacked at any given moment. when he catches the terror in their expression, he’s reminded that the general has their weak points too. so instead of questioning their actions any further, he tries to reassure them despite his pounding heart.

“did you wanna turn around? we can always find another route. we could even send a team of minutemen to do this for us.” when sole shakes their hand and swallows the lump in their throat, preston lets out a soft sigh and smiles at them softly.

“just leaving the suggestion out there, general. say the word and we’ll turn right back around.” sole would shake their head, their stubbornness peeking through the look of fear twisting on their face. “it’s fine. i can’t be selfish and let it get to me.”

preston would feel his heart swell at their sacrifice and the determination that they held, despite the odds going against them. gently, he squeezed their hand and looked down at them, seeing the curious expression on their face. “if that’s the case, just know i’m confident that nothing will tear you down. i have your back every step of the way,” he pauses for a moment, rubbing the nape of his neck nervously with a dorky smile, “even if it mean- uh -holding my hand. i’d be more than happy to.”

after a few moments of silence, sole processed his words and smiled at him in response, returning the squeeze. “thank you, preston.”

Sturges:

sturges is aware he isn’t the strongest man in the commonwealth nor does he have the ability to protect sole in most situations. however, if he had a choice, he would do the best he could and he knows that sole is aware of his intentions. yet, when they yelp with fear and lunge to him, taking his hand in theirs, he realizes that maybe he isn’t as weak as he sought out to be.

“you holding up ‘lright, sweetheart?” when they notice their actions, their expression slowly twists into a terrified one and they attempt to retrieve their hand as quickly as they can. sturges doesn’t stop them from doing so and instead just laughs heartily and offers his hand to them despite their reaction.

“i’m fine with it, yknow. i wasn’t complainin’ or anything, just wanted to check if you’re okay.” sole hesitates for a moment, eyes flickering from his hand to his face before replying. “are you sure it’s okay? it just gave me a little scare, you don’t have to-“

before they could continue, he moves closer, taking their hand in his with a light blush on his cheeks and a reassuring smile plastered on his face. “it’s the least i can do for you.” his actions are more than enough to reassure sole and they nod, accepting his offer. “thank you, sturges.”

Gage:

he doesn’t like crushes— gage is so used to the habit of a one night stand and constant hook ups that he absolutely forgets how loving someone feels like. as sole grips his hand in fear, he chokes up for a good second and immediately gets himself together, retreating his hand and glaring at them.

“the fuck you think you’re doing?” despite his tough demeanor, his voice becomes slightly shaky and a small tinge of pink dusts his cheek. this doesn’t go unnoticed at first, but sole knows they’re too distracted to point it out.

they would apologize with an embarrassed expression and he’d avert his eyes elsewhere before continuing on; “yer the damn overboss, some stupid shit like this shouldn’t scare you. you gotta be tougher than that if yer gonna survive in this world.”

he doesn’t realize the words that leave his mouth until his eyes fall on sole, who’s clearly embarrassed and overwhelmed with the situation and immediately feels a tinge of guilt. with a quiet groan, he slows down and averts his eyes elsewhere, waiting for them to pick up the pace. when sole lets out a confused hum, he forces the words to leave his mouth.

“hurry up and get in front of me, why don’t ya’? yer acting like i’d let the overboss get hurt on my watch.”

they would pause for a moment at his words but feel a sense of reassurance knowing that gage had their back, despite his attitude towards them. “okay.” sole would smile at him softly and he’d scoff, fighting the blush threatening to creep up on his face. this stupid love bullshit was doing nothing but holding him back.

“yeah, yeah. lets get a move on before i leave ya out here to get eaten.”

[missskzbiased]

Eggy First Date

Summary: You can’t seem to catch a break this week. You’ve run out of eggs, visibly stained your living room carpet with grape juice, and worst of all: your laundry machine has broken down. Such an event has resulted in you awkwardly shuffling your dirty clothes to the nearest laundromat, but hey, at least the boy using the machine next to you is cute!

WC: 2,3 K

Requested: By Stayndays <3 Thank you, Buddy!

Genre: Slice of Life, Fluff, Humor (?)

AUs: College, (Implied) Classmates to Lovers, Crushes, Kinda Friends to Lovers

Pairing: Yang Jeongin X GN! Reader

Rebloggable Masterlist   //   Main Masterlist

Warnings: Mentions of food, Language (Crap/Shit)

                                                   ////

   Yep… Turns out it’s impossible to fix one’s life in a few hours.

      You should have known better than letting everything pile up like that, but now it was a little bit too late to be sorry. As your phone insisted on reminding you ─ alarm shouting for anyone to hear ─, your parents should arrive at your apartment in about two hours. It didn’t sound too bad when you put it like this, but when you think in perspective, it’s kinda easy to see why you’re screwed up…

      The first problem: You have no eggs.

     It may not sound that alarming, but you promised your mom to flex your culinary skills and bake her favorite cake as soon as she came to visit you. Funnily enough, when you tried to fix some scrambled eggs on Tuesday ─ a hopeful attempt to eat anything other than cup noodles ─ you had to drop half of them to your recently cleaned floor. In other words, not only you had to clean your floor again but you also had only four eggs to make your lunch and survive the week… Which meant you ran out of eggs by Wednesday.

      Now, you didn’t have to be a genius to know that having no eggs meant no favorite cake for your mom… And as much as having no cake didn’t sound like the end of the world, it was only the beginning. No cake meant questions, and questions meant answers, and answers meant you would have to either tell them the truth or lie to them… Unfortunately, you couldn’t tell them the truth or else you would expose your Thursday’s mistake, but we’ll get to that later.

      That being said, you were left with two options: Lie to them ─ and risk being caught ─ or buy fresh eggs to bake her a cake. It was needless to say that you went with the last one. However, by Wednesday night ─ when, despite having no eggs, you had finals to worry about ─, buying your groceries after your exams, on Friday, sounded like the perfect plan. And it kinda was… At least for the next 24H that followed it, before you managed to screw everything up on Thursday.

      The second problem: Grape juice.

      You were stressed out, alright?! You had only one more day to go with your exams and it may or may not have gotten to your head. So drinking grape juice on the couch ─ since you had no actual food to eat and have been feeding on liquids ─ while watching a 20 minutes episode of Brooklyn 99 was a good way to relax. Perhaps, you should act more like the nonfunctional college student that you were. This way, you would be studying in your room instead of missing the coffee table as you laughed; spilling your juice on the carpet.

      Of course, it couldn’t be a normal carpet that was totally replaceable… No, it had to be the very own carpet your grandma gifted to your father when he moved out… It happened to be the same one her mother gave to her when she moved out as well! Of course, it had to be this one and not the stupid carpet on your bathroom that meant absolutely nothing. It had to be the carpet your father gifted to you while saying that this new journey full of responsibilities ─ also called miserable college life ─ would be blessed by your previous generations or whatever!

     Basically, you just drowned your whole family in cheap juice that tasted like purple! Because of a joke! A joke that wasn’t even that good! It definitely wasn’t worth it.

     Whatever was the necessary skill to remove a stain from a carpet, you didn’t have it. And you didn’t have the time to learn it either. So, as a desperate student, you did the best you could: Blot the liquid with a wet cloth, pour about half of the ocean over the spot, mix the most random stuff you had, soak the carpet overnight, and go off to sleep so you wouldn’t botch your finals.

      The third problem: The Rise of the Machines. 

      When you got home after your exams ─ no eggs, ‘cause your mind was too focused on saving the carpet ─, you were still hopeful that everything was going to be okay. The Internet blessed you with the ultimate knowledge to remove any stains from a sacred carpet and you followed each step as if your life depended on it. Because it did. You did such an amazing job that the spotless area turned into a clean spot on the dirty carpet… And that, dearest friends, was the real problem.

      It was exactly 10:27 PM when you decided to shove your carpet into the washing machine and go downstairs to buy a burger on your friend’s stand. It was about 11:13 PM when you got back to your place, happily fed and unworried about your life. It took you less than a minute to have all of your happiness fading away as you saw that the foam spilled over the floor, bringing you a sad realization: Your washing machine had failed you.

     In other words, you had a damp, dirty carpet to save, a dozen eggs to buy, a cake to bake, and a lie to keep in the next… Twelve hours or something. And you needed to sleep for at least half of that time. But that was okay! Everything was fine… You had six hours to fix your entire life tomorrow, right? Yeah… Except that not really, no. Because obviously ─ how didn’t you see that coming? ─, your phone had decided to not wake you up the next morning.

     The fourth problem: Your parents.

     The two hours ahead of you could mean twenty minutes or even a second… Knowing your parents, they could be standing right in front of your door, ringing your bell and asking themselves why you weren’t home. The answer would be because you were at the laundromat next to your building, which wasn’t the cheapest one but it was the closest thing you had to a miracle right now. Well, it would be, if the washing machine actually gave a shit about your struggles.

      As the water slowly spilled over your carpet ─ instead of being gushed to soak the damn thing ─, you let your shoulders drop and a sigh escape from your lips. You didn’t know if you felt more relieved for finally having things working out or defeated for having to go through all of this. The exhausted eyes you met in your reflection were a good hint, though, and you got closer to the glass door to rest your forehead on the cold surface and take a small break. At least ─ as long as your parents didn’t arrive before the drying cycle ─, they would never know about the truth and everything should be just fine… You wouldn’t need to worry about being kicked out from the family.

      “Crap” You grumbled, mindlessly knocking your head on the door on repeat.

      “Tough day, huh?” The soft voice was familiar, but the warm hand preventing you from hitting the glass again wasn’t. You frowned before turning to check if you weren’t going crazy. To your misfortune, the cute boy smiling sympathetically at you was exactly who you thought it was “That’s bad for you” He pointed out, chuckling as he watched you snapping your head away from his hand.

      “Hey!” You blurted; face burning to the thought of him seeing you like this. Why everything had to go so wrong in your life?! Why did Jeongin have to see you wearing the most sloppy outfit you could ever wear? Your hands flew to your hair to try and fix the nest on top of your head “What’s up?” You huffed playfully; hitting his shoulder lightly in the most unnatural way that you could.

     Way to go, Y/N! Humiliate yourself in front of your crush!

     “Just washing some stuff” He shrugged, pointing to the machine next to yours, “You don’t usually come here, though… Well, at least, I never saw you here before” He mused, arching his brow “Are you following me around now?” He whispered teasingly, cupping his hand around his mouth as he smirked at you.

      “What?! No!” You panicked, widening your eyes and floundering your hands in the air “I’m not, I swear!” You insisted as he stared at you mockingly, “If anything you’re the one following me! I live nearby! Where do you live?! Is it even close?!” You defended yourself vehemently; poking his chest as you visibly lost your mind.

      “I’m joking, jeez!” He chortled, rubbing his torso “Calm down, Y/N… It’s your neighborhood, I know” He reassured you, squeezing your shoulder and chuckling as you relaxed under his touch “I was just trying to make you feel better” He explained; hand sliding to pat your back “What’s up? Did you mess up on your exams?” Jeongin asked; tone wandering around curiosity and worry.

      “No… I did just fine” You sighed; getting him to tilt his head in confusion ─ he’s so cute scrunching his nose like this! ─ while you smiled at him, getting back to your senses.

      It was just Jeongin, for Lord’s sake… He was your classmate! He had seen you look way worse than this before, if you were being honest. Which wasn’t that reassuring now that you think about it… But anyway! He had seen you drooling all over your desk, and snoring, and looking like a zombie! There was nothing to worry about… Even if he kinda is really cute and you kinda have a crush on him.

      “Wanna talk about it?” He offered friendly. Did he really have to be this kind and bubbly while smiling at you? Couldn’t he be a little bit less cute? Or just look like a normal human being while doing his laundry? Like having messy hair… Or messy clothes… Or dark circles under his eyes… Or just not look this fresh and perfect and… “Y/N?” He called unsurely, waving his hand in front of your eyes.

      “Sorry” You rushed to say, ducking your head between your shoulders “I... I mean, there’s a lot going on in my mind now” It wasn’t exactly a lie, but it wasn’t quite the truth. You were just thinking about him, but he didn’t need to know that, “Mom and Dad are going to come and visit me today… I promised to bake her a cake, but I ran out of eggs” Now you were just spilling whatever was on your mind, hm? It probably didn’t even make sense for him.

      “And you thought doing your laundry could get you some?” He joked confusedly, laughing as you pouted at him.

      “No…” You whined, kicking him lightly “I knocked my grape juice on the family’s sacred carpet… So I’m trying to make it look okay or else my dad is going to kill me” You explained further, pinching the bridge of your nose “But they’re coming and I still have to buy those damn eggs, and bake this damn cake, and wash this damn—”

     “Hey, hey” He shushed you, holding both of your shoulders to prompt you to look into his eyes. They held a thousand million stars… But that wasn’t really the point “Everything’s good, okay? Why don’t we go to buy some eggs, then you go and bake your cake?” He suggested calmly, massaging your skin as he smiled reassuringly “I can take care of your laundry… Mine is here anyway” He chuckled, seeing the way your eyes lit up to his plan “I can get it to your house before they get there… They’ll never know” He promised.

      “No way” You chirped; hands jolting to his face and grabbing his cheeks firmly “Jeongin” You said seriously; eyes unwavering as you stared right into his “You’re my hero” You stated matter-of-factly, enticing a wide grin from him “I owe you my life, I mean it” You concluded, quickly letting go of his face.

     What were you doing?!     

     “Ask me on a date and we’re even” He joked.

      “Don’t be silly” You rolled your eyes, pretending not to be affected by his friendly banter.

      “Fair enough… So go out with me on a date and we’re even” He smirked; eyes glinting amusedly as you let your mouth fall agape to his request. You took a while to react properly, and the growing silence seemed to get into Jeongin’s head, “I mean… I’d like to if that’s okay with you…” He shrugged, gulping down nervously “I’ve been wanting to… I was going to ask… I was just waiting for…” He floundered, clearing his throat to make it less obvious.

      “Well, if it makes us even…” You fought back your smile, watching as his anxiety dissolved into relief before he beamed at you “I guess I’d love to go on a date with you...” He laughed wholeheartedly, taking your hands in his “What about next week?” You suggested coyly, enjoying the warmth of his touch.

      “What about now?” He grinned like a fox.

      “Have you listened to what I said before?” You chortled “I have to buy some eggs and –” You began to enumerate on your fingers, but he giggled playfully, interrupting you.

      “You know what’s funny?” He smirked “My dream was to buy some eggs with you as a first date… I don’t think we’ll ever get this chance again” The corner of his lips twitched; dimples showing as he looked fondly at you “Shall we?” He asked in mocking politeness, extending his arm for you to take.

      “I must say you have such a weird taste…” You hummed, studying his extended arm amusedly “But you’re cute, so it’s all forgiven” You shrugged, chuckling as he locked his arm with yours and took the lead to find a grocery store nearby.

[pennie-umbra]

Here lies Roman García Lopez

Roman is not dead, calm down

This is just a small oneshot from the ghost au about Roman coming out as trans to Remus when they were teenagers.

Warnings: swearing, hospitals, self-deprecation, misgender, mentions of transphobia, talks of death

Obs: in some descriptions I'll be refering to Remus and Roman with she/her pronouns, but thats specifically when I'm describing their thoughts and they are referring to themselves or each other with those pronouns, since Remus didn't know he was trans here and Roman is coming out. When I'm not describing their thoughts I'll be referring to them solely by he/him pronouns.

If you tag this as r*mrom I'll punch you

The twins used to be best friends. They would play in the backyard and braid each other's hair and laugh and cry and almost forget all the ways that the world was cold and merciless.

So so merciless.

The Duke analyzed his nails as if they were the most interesting thing he had ever seen and the silence was so dense it could be cut with a knife. He wanted to talk, he really wanted to. He wanted to talk about the last movie he watched and gossip about their classmates and make jokes that were questionable to say the least and wanted to see her sister laugh and look alive again. But what would she say? At this point, what did they have in common? What could she do? Open her mouth just to throw all that filthy that was inside her mind at her poor sister? Talk about her life and about how she was a disgusting piece of garbage? Ruin those few hours that they had together? Yeah, as their mother would always say, if you have nothing nice to say just shut up. 

The Duke felt like he never had anything nice to say.

"How is school going?" The one in the hospital bed started. Panic dominated The Duke's eyes and he didn't move for a good ten seconds, looking like he wasn't even breathing until he shrugged.

"As shitty as always, you know. The usual stuff" 

"I wish I was there" The Princess sighed.

"Nah, you don't, it's the most boring thing ever, I got a shitton of homework and also tomorrow I got a fucking chemistry test and I don't even know if I'm going to study, you got it easy, dude" as soon as those words left his mouth he regretted it "No, I'm kidding, that was stupid, this sucks too I know, but if I could I would just leave school, I mean who cares?"

"You can't do that. School is important"

 The Duke didn't say anything. He had a lot of answers but none of them were nice. And he wanted to be nice to The Princess, at least. He had lost everybody else, even Virgil, even Virgil, she was not going to lose her sister too. 

"Why did you call me?" Finally said.

"What?"

"Dad said that you wanted to talk to me. Specifically. Why?" 

"I have to ask you for a favor"

"What is it? Yes, I can get you drugs" The Princess raised an eyebrow at his brother.

"What? I'm sure it would make the hospital more interesting, no judgments."

"No. No, it's not that" he was so tense and that was stressing the Duke out. He closed his mouth shut because when he was nervous he rambled and when he rambled he always ended up saying the worst possible things. The Princess took a breath as if it was a battle to take the words out of his throat.

"I'm afraid that I'm going to die"

"A lot of people are" said before he could contain himself. That should have earned at least a chuckle from the Princess but he didn't make a sound.

"No. No. I mean- what I mean is…" he decided to just rip it off like a band aid "I feel like I’m going to die in a few days. I think-"

"Bullshit!" The Duke snapped without warning, startling his brother. "You have no fucking right to say that!" Is it really that easy to make him cry?

"It's true! I- I can feel it, okay? Death is following me"

"Death has always followed you, you stupid fuck, you're like a godamn death magnet!"

"Yeah but it's different now, I- look, how I know doesn't matter, I need you to do something for-"

"I'm not doing shit for you!" Ok that's a lot of emotion for someone who was completely numb the entire week, Duke's body has grown unused to feelings apparently, as he was shaking and burning and screaming and crying and wanting to curl up in a ball and die.

"Just listen-"

"Fuck you!" The Duke covered his ear to show that he wasn't going to listen but also suddenly because everything was too much. Too much noise, too much light, too much, too much. "I'm going to tell your doctor and she's going to say that's bullshit because that's bullshit you can't just die!" Yelled at the top of his lungs. She couldn't lose her sister, no, no, everyone but her.

"I need you to change my name in my gravestone!" said as loudly as his brother, sitting up. That took The Duke by surprise and he uncovered his ears in confusion.

"What?"

"When I die, mom and dad will pay for a gravestone and its going to have a name on it" 

"You're not-"

"Fucking listen to me! I don't want to die too, for fucks sake, but I need to be ready when it happens!" The Princess finally snapped in his despair to be listened to. His brother stopped and seemed to consider his options until, slowly, sat down again.

"What do you mean, [...]?" he said his brother's deadname.

"Exactly that. That name. It's not my name"

"Are you high?"

"Look" he ran his hand through his hair, frustrated "I had a lot of time to think. I- I did some research and… I- I'm not a girl" The Duke didn't say anything. For once in his life he had no idea what to say. "Yeah. I've always felt like that. Like something was… off. Wrong. That someone made a mistake when-" he gestured toward his body "I'm not telling mom and dad. They wouldn't understand, they never understand shit. But I know you will, sister"

"Wait, hold the fuck up, what are you saying? If you're not a girl, what the fuck are you then?" The Princess swallowed, scared to say it out loud. There would be no coming back if he did it. He raised his hand to compliment the teenager in front of him, shaking from head to toe.

"I'm- Roman. Nice to meet you." he was crying already, trying to not let his voice fail him "I'm your brother, I'm a trans man and I don't want to die just to be remembered by the wrong name"

Trans man. Trans. A word that was known but still sounded like a secret. Forbidden. 

The Duke looked at his brother's hand. Then he looked at his face, with his long hair and tears and all that fear in his eyes. 

And he understood, that was what scared him the most. 

"Something was off. Something was wrong. Someone made a mistake"

"I don't want to be remembered by the wrong name"

He understood every single word on a deep personal level, he knew that despair, that fear.

He shaked his brother's hand, who immediately melted in relief.

"Roman. You're going to live." Said with that same caring voice that he used when they were kids and Roman had nightmares and he would sing lullabies completely out of tune until his brother fell asleep, delicately cleaning his brother's tears. “You're going to live and you're going to make sure that mom and dad remember you right. I promise"

"But what if I-"

"No! No" The Duke interrupted, not allowing his brother to finish that phrase, not again. "You know what. You're coming with me" announced, starting to look through the closet for some clothes his brother could use.

"... what?"

"We are leaving this shithole" 

"I can't leave the hospital [...]!" deadname. 

"I don't want to be remembered by the wrong name"

The Duke closed his eyes and when he turned back to his brother he was smiling almost maniacally.

"Yes, you can" he found some sweater pants and a black tshirt "Here, put this on. This place is fucking you up. Mom is fucking you up, this is her fault. We are going out and you're going to live. You're going to live" an idea came to his mind "Do you want to cut your hair?" Roman looked at the clothes on his hands. Then at the teenager looking at him full of expectation. Deep down Roman knew. Staying there was not helping. It was making things worse, he knew even deeper down. And if he was dying he wanted to die by his sister's side.

"Yes. I want to cut my hair" admitted. He didn't hate his long hair, it was pretty and brushing it was relaxing. But he hated how it made everyone think he was a girl. "But mom will be pissed"

"What doesn't piss that woman off?" Exclaimed exasperated and Roman opened the smallest grin.

"Yesterday they gave me strawberry juice instead of orange juice and she threw an entire fucking tantrum"

"Exactly. If she was a little bit whiter she would be a textbook Karen" that made Roman giggle.

"She would. Are we actually doing this?"

"Of course we're! Now get ready, Princes- Princey" Roman smiled widely.

"I like Princey"

"I thought you would" Roman got dressed and The Duke gave him his black hoodie.

"So you won't get recognized" explained.

"I'm sure nobody is going to try to arrest me if they see me sneaking out, thank you very much. Also what was the last time you washed this? It smells like shit" actually Roman would never comment on it out loud but his sister was generally a mess. With hair that wasn't brushed in days and wasn't washed in an even longer time, smudged make up all over her face and dirty baggy clothes. If only he had connected the dots before it was too late.

"I'm sure you'll survive" replied sharply, opening the door.

The hoodie didn't help.

" What are you doing here Ms. Garcia? Do you want anything?" The first nurse that saw them was quick to ask. 

"Ahn…" The Duke opened his mouth to explain. Then close it again.

"I just wanted to take some air, my sister came to visit me and we thought it would be cool to go outside real quick" Roman came to rescue him.

"Your sister…" slowly her gaze went to the other teenager "Oh, you. I'm not sure I can allow that. Not without your mother's permission" 

"You can come with us, then! My mom wouldn't like to know that you're keeping me stuck in my room. Like a prisoner" the nurse looked worried. Their mom had a reputation around the hospital and it wasn't a good one.

"Just five minutes, okay?"

"Wonderful!" Roman winked in his brother's direction, who opened a smile and they were both guided toward the front of the hospital, where there was a small decorative garden. 

"What now?" The Duke whispered, gesturing toward the nurse with his head, she was way too close. Roman looked around and his eyes stopped at one specific point. 

"There"

"What?"

"There's a cat"

"I don't see anything"

"Its because its not alive" the animals souls were the easiest to attract and even control. "Her" Roman said in an almost sing-song voice. The cat tilted its head, an empty hole in the place where its left eye was supposed to be and, without warning, threw itself at the nurse, emitting a meow that from her perspective came out of thin air and made the poor woman scream in surprise.

"Now!" And Roman started running. His brother only stopped to giggle before running too. When she noticed that the kids were missing they were already far away. 

"Fuck, that was fun!" Roman exclaimed as he recovered from the run, still breathing with some difficulty. His brother enjoyed the feeling for a little longer. He almost felt alive for a minute. 

"Of course it was, it was my idea"

"I mean I was the one who fooled the nurse, all you did was stutter"

"Oh, shut up. It's not my fault everyone likes you best"

"Everyone is stupid. You're the cooler twin"

"Don't you come at me with your compliments!" Roman laughed, a genuinely laugh that filled his brother with happiness and warmth. 

"Right. What do we do now? I'm still totally down for that haircut"

"Well first of all we're going to steal some scissors because I'm totally broke-"

"Oh my god!" Roman exclaimed in disbelief "My own sister! Wanting to make me a criminal!"

If you get to be brother why do I have to be sister?

Remus ignored that thought for the time being. 

"You're not going to regret it! We can steal some chocolate too!" replied, putting his arm around his brother's shoulders. Roman rolled his eyes.

"Oh my life would be so dull without you" The one that would call himself Remus in the future smiled. And I wouldn't be alive without you, thought to himself.

[cinebration]

Written in DNA (Booker x Reader) [Part 1]

Premise: Quynh sends Booker to retrieve a weapon that may or may not change his life.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Epilogue

Tagged: @lucy-sky​, @city-of-weird​

Warnings: violence

Gif Source: captaindelafere

“Do this for me, and you will see Andromache and the others.”

Overcoming his initial shock, Booker had tried to explain the one-hundred-year exile to Quynh, but she wouldn’t hear it.

“There is a war coming. I need you to help me get the weapon to stop it.”

He resisted the idea immediately, even if his whiskey-soaked brain was intrigued.

“All you have to do is retrieve it. You want to protect your family, don’t you?” She downed the glass of water. Pulling a slip of paper from her coat, she set it on the counter and placed the glass atop it. “Decide, Booker, whose side you are on.”

A few days later, a mostly sober Booker found himself searching the address online.

The result appeared on his screen: a military installation.

He had to laugh at the absurdity of it.

Of course a weapon of war would be in a military installation. Had he not been so deep in his cups, he would have come to this conclusion once he saw the address was located in the United States.

He leaned back in his chair and stared at the screen, arms folding across his chest. He shouldn’t get involved, not when it would put him back in the group’s path. He didn’t deserve to see them, the exile notwithstanding. That was just a formality for him. The shame is what kept him away.

Or so he told himself.

But if Quynh was right, how much worse would he feel if he did nothing and they were hurt?

Booker rubbed his stubbly face. Quynh. How did she get out? Did the others know already? His shock and his drunkenness had prevented him from asking the questions he needed. She hadn’t even left a means of communication for him to contact her.

Warning bells chimed quietly in the back of his mind, but he heard them only dimly through the liquor fog.

For six months, he had spent his days in the pub and back in his apartment, marinating in whiskey, whisky, and scotch. He was looking at ninety-nine-and-a-half more years of that.

The address beckoned.

He booked a flight to the United States.

~~

When Booker put his mind to something—which, admittedly, hadn’t been often of late, as that required drive and hope, both of which had been lacking—he accomplished it.

Which is how he ended up inside the military installation, following the instructions written underneath the address on the piece of paper. Having lifted a security card from one of the men leaving work for the day, he had access to the floor he needed: deep in the bowels of the basement, some four storeys down.

With the changing of the guard at his time of arrival, he slipped through the security checkpoints with his head bent over a clipboard he lifted off a desk as he passed. He swiped through each checkpoint with the stolen ID and stepped into the elevator, taking it all the way down to the sublevel he needed.

The elevator doors rolled silently open on a long cement hallway with stark overhead lighting. Booker squinted against it, his eyes smarting.

A lone door stood at the far end.

Booker glanced down at it, small alarms chiming in his mind. If the weapon was so dangerous, why was it in a solitary room without extra security? The card reader beside the door seemed like all it needed was an ID.

Propping the clipboard against the wall beside the elevator doors, Booker drew his pistol and slowly advanced down the hallway. His shoes made the slightest squeak against the floor as he moved.

The hair on the back of his neck prickled as he stopped before the door. He swiped the card through the reader.

The door clicked open.

Readjusting his grip on the gun, he nudged the door open with his shoulder, easing it open slowly and then all at once, the muzzle of the gun sweeping the room.

You sat on a chair in front of another chair, your feet propped up on it. Booker tensed as you lowered the book in your hands a fraction, enough for him to see your eyes—and for you to see him.

Your face lit up. “You’re new.” Your attention slid to the gun. “Really new.”

Frowning, Booker glanced around the rest of the room. An examination table occupied the corner nearest him, though no tools were in sight. An exposed bathroom—a toilet, shower, and sink—stocked with toiletries, stood tucked into another corner opposite a thin cot with a foot locker at its end. A bookshelf overflowed with books beside a small flatscreen TV.

Booker’s confusion intensified as he returned his attention to you. You sat in the same position as before, though the book, your place held by your finger, had moved to your lap. There was no fear or anxiety in your face…only a bright curiosity.

“I’m looking for something,” he said. There wasn’t much he could say. His gaze swept the room again. No cupboards or storage units. The cot didn’t even have anything underneath its metal frame.

He twitched as you moved in the corner of his eye. Legs unfolding from the chair, you set your feet on the floor. Something about the movement unnerved Booker. You placed the book down in the second chair.

“Tell me what and maybe I can help,” you said, smiling.

Quynh had gotten it wrong. Booker took a step back toward the door, hesitated. The look on your face was so earnest, so genuine, it couldn’t hurt to ask…

“I’m looking for a weapon. Someone told me it was here.”

The light went out of your face, disappointment flickering across it. “Oh, that.” Sighing, you stood, rolled your shoulders, and said, “I can help with that.”

Eyebrows arching, Booker lowered the gun. “Thank you.”

You stepped over to him, just within reach, and smiled, though it didn’t reach your eyes. “Sure.”

You didn’t move.

Alarm bells rang again in Booker’s mind. “Where is it?”

“You’re looking at it.”

Your hands darted forward, closed around the gun. Twisted.

Booker’s wrists snapped.

Pain lanced white-hot up his arms. He jerked back with a harsh cry.

“Is this a test?”

He glanced up at you, brow furrowed with pain and confusion. You stood beyond his reach, the gun held loosely at your side. Booker leaned against the door behind him, blinked away the pain-induced tears. His hands hung useless from the wrists, dangling grotesquely.

What the fuck was he dealing with?

“Is it?” you asked again.

Booker forced himself to ignore the pain. Already he could feel something at work within him, knitting the bones back together.

“Not a test,” he answered.

His wrists snapped back into place, fingers suddenly back under his control. He glimpsed your look of surprise. But in the split second he saw it, it seemed different than the surprise he was used to seeing. There was something else behind it.

Booker lunged forward, one hand reaching for the hand holding the gun, the other for your shirt front.

But you weren’t there. You were behind him, your hand clamping down on his collar. With a soft grunt, you used his own momentum—

—and swung him across the room.

Booker smashed into the bookcase, skull cracking against a shelf, books scattering around him as he hit the ground. His whole body ached, pummeled and already exhausted.

He saw through hazy vision your feet approach and stop a few inches away.

“Why are you here?”

The hope in your voice struck an odd note in his concussed mind. “The weapon,” he mumbled. God, he could use a drink.

The world fell into darkness.

~~

Booker seized awake, gasping violently. On his feet, he swept the room.

Empty.

The door was propped open a fraction, just enough for him to glimpse out into the hall.

Also empty.

The gun was missing, as was the keycard.

Swearing under his breath, Booker staggered out into the hall and to the elevator, hoping none of the doors he’d come through needed the card to swipe out.

As the lift took him up out of the bowels of the compound, he struggled to understand what had happened. Even with his own momentum against him, it would be impossible for someone to fling him across the room like that.

Or snap his wrists like they were candy canes.

~~

The security guard swiveled away from the camera feeds to face her coworker. “Call General Howzer. We have a problem.”

~~

Years of stealth operations allowed Booker to escape from the compound just as the alarms sounded and everything went into lockdown. He was in his car, driving away, as the teams rolled out to sweep the premises.

He drove calmly, as though nothing was amiss. On the freeway, he disappeared among the evening traffic.

He relaxed only a fraction when he made it to a lonely stretch of freeway some thirty miles away.

A lonely stretch of freeway with a dying strip mall off to one side.

LIQUOR read one of the signs. A beacon.

Booker pulled off the road and parked the car in shadows. Trying to appear as calm as possible, he entered the store, basking for a moment in the familiar harsh glow of its lights—how did all liquor stores have this lighting?—before heading to the whiskey.

He bought two bottles and had hardly stepped outside the door before he was chugging at the first one. He nearly cried as the liquor washed over his tongue.

Throwing himself behind the steering wheel, he took another long swig and squeezed his eyes shut. He needed to get back to Paris, change apartments, dig in for the century-long wait.

Something cold pressed against his neck.

His eyes peeled open.

“Hi,” you said into his ear.

[lonelyandlovelorn]

Three Times Steve Rogers is Wrong

A/N: Heyyyy... I know it’s been ages, but it’s been a rough stretch. I’m not going to promise regular stories again, but this has been sitting in a folder on my computer for a while, so I figured I’d post it. I hope you are all staying safe right now. This is real short and sweet but I just kept picturing Natasha Romanoff in love and this happened. I’m sorry it’s almost no dialogue. 

Genre: fluff

Warning: minor swearing

Word count: 1100

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem reader

Summary: The development and concerns of your relationship as seen through the eyes of Steve Rogers. 

Masterlist

Steve had felt protective over you since the moment you joined the team. You were sweet and kind, but also very obviously innocent and naive. This wasn’t a problem, per se, but it definitely had him on guard when people were near you. 

When you first arrived, Steve's biggest worry was someone like Sam or Thor trying to flirt with you, but you had made it pretty obvious from the beginning you didn’t swing for their team, and they respected that. He relaxed a little when he realized that you weren’t going to be getting into anything romantic with anyone. 

Except, Steve Rogers just needs proving wrong sometimes, doesn’t he? 

You were on the young side, though you weren’t too far off from your team, in your late twenties. You were pretty comfortable with your sexuality and being open about it, it certainly wasn’t a secret to the rest of the team. There was a big pride flag on your wall and you made a passing comment here or there. Although, it had taken Steve paying some attention to realize what you meant when you commented on a woman’s attractiveness. At first, he just thought you were a really positive person, but he figured it out pretty quickly once Sam and Bucky stopped laughing at him. 

Still, you were young, practically the team’s baby, so Steve thought you were safe. And then at a party one night, he saw Natasha speaking to you. Having been at the receiving end, Steve knew what her flirting looked like from a mile away, and she was laying it on thick. She was leaned over the table, her strategically placed arms and low-cut dress giving you quite a show. You were obviously flustered, but not uncomfortable, so Steve didn’t feel he had any right to step in. He still kept an eye on you both the rest of the night. 

After that, he noticed it more and more. Natasha would often speak to you in low tones that everyone but Steve and Bucky would be oblivious to. She would softly flirt with you until you were glowing with blush, red in the face but seemingly enjoying it. Bucky and Steve often met eyes when they heard Nat’s passing comments, eyebrows going up and communicating silently as only long-time best friends can. She obviously flustered you, but you didn’t seem to mind the attention. 

Obviously, Steve trusted Natasha with his life, but that wasn’t the same as trusting her with your heart. From the way you cried watching How to Train Your Dragon 2, it was obvious you were sensitive. His fear was one of you getting hurt and you being the one left damaged. 

--

“You looked great on the mat today.” It was a comment that to anyone else would have sounded like a compliment on skill, but sent a pretty blush coloring your cheeks. It could have still come across that way if you hadn’t spent the majority of training pinned under her. Steve was well aware of that, even if your expression hadn’t given you away. 

For the first time though, something unexpected happened. You flirted back. “Maybe you’ll have to show me some more tricks some time so you can look as great as I did.” Steve was floored.

Your usual response to her flirtations was stammering and half-formed sentences. You were normally too flustered to make any attempt at returning the favor. This time, however, you painted a smirk on your face even as your cheeks burned, dishing it back. 

Steve was sure that you two were the only two who might have noticed the twinkle in Nat’s eye and the light dusting of pink high in her cheeks. She could have passed it off as exertion to anyone else. The small smile she sent you though confirmed that she had appreciated the effort. 

--

Steve still worried. He worried for both of you. Would it be worse if you flirted endlessly but ended up with other people or if you ended up together, only to maybe break up later? He was scared that Natasha would push too far and you would be too sweet to do anything but let her. He worried Natasha wasn’t being as careful with your feelings as she should be. 

Once again, Steve Rogers lives to be proven wrong. 

The mission had been tough. All in all, the team had been successful, but there had still been casualties. The worst of which happened on your watch while you were powerless to stop it. It was obvious you were taking it pretty hard. 

Steve was gearing himself up to take the seat next to you and talk you through it when a certain redhead did it first. She spoke so softly that even Steve couldn’t seem to hear her over the quinjet. Whatever she said seemed to calm you down, as you visibly stopped spiralling inside your own head. With a few more soft-spoken words, Nat gently grabbed your hand as you leaned your head on her shoulder. You weren’t perfectly fine, but you were better than Steve could have ever made you. 

So obviously, Natasha knew how to handle you gently. She was careful and attentive the rest of the evening, caring for you while ignoring her teammates’ looks. And Steve was grateful for that, even if he couldn’t shut off the Worried Dad mode. 

--

You were dating now. There was no big announcement, but you walked into breakfast together one morning, holding hands, and that was that. You sat close together on the couch, sometimes with your head in her lap. The whole team could see you were in love.

Well, the team could see that you were in love. With Natasha, it was hard to gauge, and Steve was concerned once more.

What if Natasha didn’t love you the same way? What if it wasn’t as much, as important to her? Would she hurt you?

Steve only lasted three days before Natasha showed him how wrong he was to worry, and she didn’t even do it on purpose. The team was eating dinner as you spoke excitedly to Wanda and Sam about utter nonsense. You were gesturing wildly, talking through bites of dinner, and generally looking like an idiot. As had become habit, Steve’s eyes drifted from you to Natasha. 

There was a smile on her face that he had never seen before. The best word for it was dopey, it was the kind of smile you saw on someone utterly in love. Steve was sure he had looked at Peggy the exact same way as she kicked some sorry man’s ass. The moment he saw that smile on her face, Steve realized you were in good hands. 

[anna-pixie]

would you ever write for General Hux from Star Wars? if you decide to, could you write a fic based loosely on Illicit Affairs by Taylor Swift? like them having a secret friends with benefits relationship that they don’t want anyone to know bc of Hux’s rank. and then they both secretly catch feelings, and they’re getting worse at pretending they don’t love each other in public and eventually they have to face their problems. but with a happy ending bc i cant deal with cliffhangers or angst 😂😂

i love this song so tysm for the request!!

request: general hux x reader based loosely on illicit affairs by taylor swift

pairings: general hux x reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of sex

***

“I’m just saying, Y/N, it’s always the quiet ones who are the best in the bedroom.” Reyna wiggles her green eyebrows at you and you roll your eyes, sneering at her jokingly as you finish your lunch.

“General Hux is not quiet… he screams at everyone. Also, why are we talking about his sex life? If anyone hears us we’ll be put on cleaning duty for a month.”

“You know what I mean, compared to Ren he’s quiet. Less temper tantrums. I don’t know, something about him makes me wonder what he’s hiding under those slacks…”

“Reyna!” You squeal, throwing a chunk of bread at her as you decide to get up and leave. This conversation is going nowhere good and you don’t want to risk Ren hearing you whilst he skulks around base.

You walk down the halls, determined to have a quick nap in your quarters before clocking in for your afternoon shift on starkiller. You’re shocked when your datapad beeps suddenly, a knowing smile spreading across your face when you see the name flash on your screen. You click on the message and read it quickly, deleting it immediately after, leaving no trace behind.

General A. Hux:

My quarters. Now. Troopers have been sent away for lunch. Don’t let a soul see you enter.

You wonder what Reyla would say if she knew about this. Actually, she’d probably just ask you if he really is a freak in bed like she thinks he is. And, oh boy, the answer is yes.

You keep your head down, eyes on the floor as you walk towards Hux’s quarters, taking the quiet corridors that you know are less traveled. Your eyes widen and you halt as you hear the distance sound of boots thumping against the floor. You hurry the rest of the way, only relaxing once you’re right outside of his quarters. You send him a message, letting him know you’re outside and the door opens instantly.

Now, you and Hux have an agreement. A sort of friends with benefits situation, if you will. You’re not really sure how it came about, you were both working late one night in the command centre and the air was thick with sexual tension. It was only when you leaned over Hux to grab something that you noticed how close your faces were. He initiated the kiss, unwilling at first to let it go any further due to his rank within the First Order. It was an awkward few days after that, to say the least, but it soon got to the point where he could no longer help himself and the two of you hooked up in a small room near the command centre.

You’re not one who believes in love at first sight, because when you first met Hux you thought he was a snarky ginger brat. It’s funny how things work out, because somehow you’ve ended up head over heels in love with him. It’s hard, because you know feelings can’t be involved, but how many times can you have sex with someone before you start catching feelings, honestly?

You know he doesn’t feel the same. You can tell by the way his lips are on yours the second the door opens, no greeting or anything. He grabs the sides of your face harshly, not giving you a chance to breath as he kisses you. His hands move to the back of your thighs and he lifts you off of your feet, you squeal as you wrap your legs around his waist. He discards your datapad somewhere in the room and walks you over to the bed. He may not look it in those fitted black uniforms, but he is strong.

Two hours later, when you’re getting dressed again, you realise that you’re seriously late for your shift.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” You wince as you try to stand up, Hux smirking at you from where he lies in the bed, sheets barely covering his lower stomach, “Shut it, you. I’m so late.” You whine, hopping slightly to get into your tight pants.

Hux gazes at you quizzically for a moment before he hums, running a hand through his hair, “Don’t go. I’ll tell them I saw you throw up in the canteen.”

“Isn’t that a bit…”

“A bit what?”

“I dunno, suspicious?”

“I’m the General, baby, they won’t question me.” You bite your lip as the pet name slips out of his mouth, probably by accident. Your cheeks are flush and you take a chance by leaning in and giving him one more long kiss, resting your hand delicately on his bare chest.

You walk out of his quarters with a spring in your step, not noticing his longing gaze following you.

***

“You smell nice, new perfume?” Reyla asks.

“It’s my special one, I don’t wear it often.” You comment casually as you take a sip of your caf, not wanting to admit that you only wear it on the days that you know you’ll see the general.

“What’s the special occasion today, then?”

“Oh, um, I just felt like wearing it…” You trail off as your eyes catch Ren and Hux walking into the hall, unable to tear your gaze away from him. He seems to be able to sense your gaze on him, because his head turns in your direction and his dark eyes meet yours. You bite your lip as your gaze connects and you notice that his lip quirks up ever so slightly at the side. He masks it by coughing into his black glove, turning his gaze back in front of him as he strides across base.

You always did like a powerful man in uniform.

You pull your eyes away once he exits the room, your cheeks flushing when you notice Reyla’s suspicious glance towards you. Her eyes dart back and forth between you and Hux’s retreating form before widening astronomically.

“No … way …”

“What?” You try to act innocent as she leans across the table, grabbing your arm and shaking it a little.

“You and Hux?!” She whisper-shouts, and you shake your head rapidly.

“No… what? No!” You deny quickly.

“Don’t you dare lie to me, Y/N Y/L/N, I know you too damn well.” You sigh, Reyla’s accusatory tone making you feel guilty.

“Okay, fine. Yes, but you can’t say a word. Okay?”

“Oh, Maker! How did it even start?”

You and Reyla retreat to your room with refilled cups of caf and you start explaining the story to her. Her face lights up as you explain and she umm’s and ahh’s throughout the story.

“So yeah, that’s where we are now.”

“You really think he’s not in love with you?”

“Well, yeah. Of course he’s not.”

“Listen, I am not a smart person by any means, but I do know a lovestruck face when I see one. His face in the canteen was all I needed to see to know there was something going on with you two.”

“Really?” You smile, trying not to get your hopes up. She’s probably wrong, right?

***

“You need to stop looking at me in public.”

You frown, shifting from where you’re lying on Hux’s chest to look at him properly.

“What?”

“You almost cracked me today, when you looked at me in the canteen. Ren was suspicious.”

“You want me to stop looking at you?” Your voice is incredulous and you sit up, clutching the black sheets against your bare chest, “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Watch the way to speak to me, I’m still your superior.”

“Not like this you aren’t,” You spit at him, throwing off the covers and beginning to pull your clothes on. He groans, rubbing his eyes in annoyance as he watches you fume, asking where you’re going, “I can’t do this anymore.”

He freezes, eyes narrowing as he takes in your serious expression, “What? Why?”

“It’s not fair. I can’t talk to you in public, I can’t be near you in public, I can’t even look at you in public - but you can just have your way with me whenever you want? No. I’m done, General.” Your voice is shaky as you take one last look at him, still under the covers with wide eyes as he watches you storm out.

***

You ruined yourself for him, he turned you into an idiotic fool.

You sigh as you tap your foot lightly, waiting to be excused from the command room. One of the officers called you in to help with some problems he was having with his data pad. You’ve been waiting for him to be happy with the results for a good twenty minutes, your mind only able to focus on the fact that Hux is standing a few feet away from you.

You glance towards him discreetly, blushing when you notice he is doing the same. You look away again as quick as he does, awkwardly twiddling your thumbs before you’re finally excused.

Walking down the empty corridors, you can finally breathe again. You curse yourself because the only thing you can think about is the way Hux kept glancing at you out of the corner of his eye. A small scream leaves your mouth as someone grabs you from behind, a black glove covering your eyes as you’re dragged into the small room that saw the start of yours and Hux’s relationship.

You calm down slightly when you turn to see that it is indeed only Hux. He locks the door and leans against it, looking at you as the atmosphere quickly turns awkward.

“Look… um…” You’re surprised as Hux starts stuttering over his words, he’s usually so put together, “I’m sorry.”

That is a first. You don’t think you’ve ever heard him apologise to anyone.

“Fo-”

“No. I need to get this out.” He interrupts, taking a deep breath, “In a position like my own, opening oneself up to emotions such as love is a foolish act. This job… it requires emotionless, robotic dedication. I was good at that, until I met you. I’ve been in love with you since the first moment I saw you, I don’t know how else to express that with anything else other than sex. I love you, Y/N.”

You can’t help the tears that trail down your face, you sniffle, smiling in his direction as he does the same to you. A real, genuine smile that looks slightly foreign on his face.

“Hux-”

“Armitage.” Your breath stills, you never thought he would tell you his first name. It’s a strange name but it fits him perfectly.

“Armitage, I love you too.” You approach him hesitantly, shocked when you realise his eyes are teary. You grin, kissing him lightly as his arms wind around your body in a tight embrace, “How is this going to work? We can’t exactly tell everyone.”

“That’s a problem for another day, my love.” He kisses you long and hard, making you forget about every single worry you have.

**

star wars tag list:

@chewymoustachio

[purplecatghostposts]

If you're still doing the song writing ask thing,,, could I ask for frenmy(or as others call it,, frenreylatta) with 1 or 24? 👉👈 Or just frenmy in general I will appreciate and holde whatever

CANNNN do!!

(Also I’m juuuust now realizing these are song titles I just saw one word and went ‘LETS WRITE A DRABBLE OFF OF THIS’ oops- uh enjoy either way!)

—

For better or for worse, Tommy isn’t always taken completely seriously.

Which is fine. Tommy can brush it off, he might have some “Childish Interests” but he’s a grown adult, he can take a hit or two.

(Tommy doesn’t know why anything has to regarded as childish when anyone can and should enjoy anything and not get shit for it but that’s a whole other can of worms).

But when Tommy says things like, “Grab a soda, it’ll help you see faster!” Nobody thinks twice about it. Which is good, because Tommy didn’t mean to say it at all. There’s certain things Tommy doesn’t like to talk about and his more ‘Inhuman’ attributes is one of them.

Son of “The G-Man” has a few perks after all.

The ability to make his eyes glow and see in the dark, the ability to create- both living and non living things, immortality and the ability to share it with something like a dog he created with his own two hands, and most of all, a connection to Time itself.

Tommy has all of these abilities under control, except for the very latter of the bunch. Because turning on and off your eyes like a flashlight is something he’s been doing as a kid; Immortality he was born with, sharing it came to him in his late twenties; and while difficult, Tommy now has a bit of a knack for creation; but Time? Time is something else entirely. It’s its own entity, and not even his father has much control over it.

And of course, with a difficult entity like Time, Tommy got saddled with the worst ability to have little control over. His father, G-Man, can freeze, suspend, and even travel through it. Tommy can see it, and Time shows him too much.

Tommy does not dream, he Sees. The branches of time are shown right before his eyes whether he likes it or not, and possibilities are laid out. Time is not set in stone- there’s millions of timelines and ways it could go- and when he sleeps, Tommy can see them.

There’s no physical way to stop it without fully mastering it, but Tommy has found that there’s a few things that can make it more pleasant or at the very least, bearable. Low stress or going to sleep happy and content means he usually sees happier timelines. Caffeine, for whatever reason, means that when he sees timelines, it’s at a speed where he doesn’t have to comprehend anything or have to see something he doesn’t want to see. So far, it’s the only two methods he knows, and since he can’t always control how stressful his situation is, Tommy turns to soda.

He means what he says. Soda helps him see faster. He’s just glad that he doesn’t have to explain it to Gordon. His inhuman attributes used to scare other kids off when he was younger, and he knows that Gordon is an adult like him and probably won’t run, but the fear runs deep and Tommy keeps his mouth shut.

Benrey knows, of course. He’s not human either, he understood. But even when Tommy has bad dreams, he doesn’t like to bother other people about it. They’re just dreams, he can handle them.

Until they get personal.

Tommy has been seeing dreams about how it could end for them in Black Mesa for days now, but his intake in soda means he doesn’t really process them. They pass by in a flash and Tommy wakes up and promptly forgets about whatever was shown to him.

But of course, his luck runs out.

Tommy’s leg bounces anxiously as he stares at the broken vending machine. Nothing but water- no caffeine. Water is good for survival- Gordon gulps it down greedily then gawks when Benrey eats the whole bottle in one bite making Tommy laugh- but it means Tommy’s at risk for bad visions. And with the stress of soldiers starting to come at them as well as aliens, he suspects that tonight will not end well.

There’s a tug at his sleeve. Tommy glances down to meet Benrey’s eyes, who studies him silently. He knows something’s up- of course he does- but Tommy smiles like there’s nothing to worry about. Benrey won’t confront him directly- not unless he’s certain it’s really bad- but he has a feeling that Benrey’s still going to try something in his own little way.

“Getting late.” Gordon comments, rubbing his eyes. “We should probably get some rest.”

“Baby Feetman wants a nap?” Benrey grins lazily. Gordon rolls his eyes in response, but doesn’t look all that annoyed. He’s more relaxed than usual, looking less like he’s a twig about to snap and more a river who’s just going with the flow. In fact, Tommy swears Gordon smiles for a second.

“Shut up, you got dark circles under your eyes. You could use it too.”

Benrey rolls his eyes. “Haven’t slept this entire time, don’t intent to start now.”

Both Tommy and Gordon’s attention snaps to him. Benrey almost shrinks under the spotlight, looking utterly confused. “Uh... Care to fill a bro in on what I said wrong..?”

“You haven’t slept?” Gordon’s voice raises.

“Benrey, that’s not good for your health!”

“Jeez fuck- I don’t need to sleep to live, guys.” Benrey cuts in. “Not like you guys. Besides, someone’s gotta keep watch so like, I don’t sleep. S’not a big deal.”

“Benrey, you- you told me that half of your energy to use your abilities comes from sleep.” Tommy says slowly.

“Yeah, and the other half is food. What of it?”

Gordon joins in. “We’ve gotten the bare scraps of food down here. You- you have to be running on empty.”

“Don’t worry about it, Bro-”

“No!” Both Tommy and Gordon shout simultaneously.

Benrey jumps, eyes darting between the two of them and rubbing the back of his neck. “Uh, this isn’t fair, you’re tag teaming me, I deserve someone on my team.”

Dr. Coomer pokes his head from around the corner, Bubby following. “Is something wrong? We heard some shouting!”

“Hey, Coomer, Bubs, you uh, you gotta back me up, they’re bullying me.” Benrey points accusingly at Tommy and Gordon respectively.

Bubby shrugs. “Just do what I did whenever someone bullied me.”

“Somehow I feel like this is going to be bad advice...” Gordon mumbles.

“Set them on fire.”

“Andddd I was right.”

Benrey pretends to consider it for a moment. Gordon rolls his eyes at him, earning a smile from Benrey. “But uh, these two keep yelling at me because I haven’t slept. Tell them to stop.”

Dr. Coomer frowns and Bubby narrows his eyes. Tommy snickers to himself, knowing Benrey isn’t winning this battle.

“You haven’t slept? What the hell do you think you’re doing? Fucking dumbass.”

“Benrey, sleep is an important function we all need to live!”

Benrey groans into his hands. Gordon grins cockily. “Hey, Bubby, Dr. Coomer, mind taking watch tonight while Tommy and I get Benrey to sleep?”

Bubby snorts like it’s obvious. Coomer smiles brightly and nods. “Of course! If anyone tries to come after you in your sleep, we’ll take care of them, if you know what I mean.” Coomer winks, then makes a punching gesture.

Gordon laughs at that. Tommy rather likes when Gordon laughs, his whole body moves with him. It’s wholehearted and genuine and if it were possible, Tommy would love to bottle it and keep it with him.

Tommy’s fully aware that he’s rather smitten with Gordon and Benrey. Benrey’s his best friend and Tommy is fine if it stayed that way, but he’s also felt a certain romantic fondness for him too. Benrey’s not easy to decipher but Tommy has learned he shows he cares in the subtle ways. How Benrey learns to read people and distracts them when they feel down. He’s done it to Tommy himself, and recently, he’s seen a very similar sentiment towards Gordon.

And Gordon wears his heart on his sleeve, which is endearing on its own. Tommy sees the way he acts around Benrey and around himself, and he can’t help but wonder if Gordon might feel the same way he does.

They find a place to camp out and before he knows it, Tommy has Gordon on one side and Benrey on the other. Despite lying on the concrete ground, Tommy doesn’t think he’s ever felt more comfortable in his life. Benrey’s curled up next to him and Gordon is lying on his side with an arm over him and Tommy feels himself get lulled to sleep. He doesn’t want to ever move again.

His dreams are not as kind as his situation. Because Tommy Sees all possible timelines, and one too many of them involve two of the people he cares about most in the world.

Benrey betrays Gordon and gets his hand get cut off. Gordon betrays Benrey and Benrey comes back not looking quite right. Gordon lets Benrey die, Benrey lets Gordon die, Benrey stands on an alien planet and attempts to kill everyone- does kill everyone. Gordon stands on an alien planet and sees Benrey being the thing they have to kill and he doesn’t hesitate.

They tear each other apart, no matter what Tommy says or does. And in a few timelines, their rage is directed towards him, and Tommy’s heart breaks into two.

“Tommy? Tommy, bro, c’mon, you gotta wake up.”

Benrey’s voice pulls him out of it. Tommy sits up, trembling and reaching out blindly. His vision is blurred and all attempts to speak come out as quiet sobs. A pair of hands grab onto his while a second gently touches his shoulder, grounding him to reality.

“Benrey?” It’s deathly quiet but it’s unmistakably Gordon’s. “Benrey- his eyes- is he okay? They’re- they’re gold-!”

“I know, dude, this happens sometimes, he’ll be okay.” Benrey responds, shockingly calm. “Tommy sees bad things sometimes when he goes to sleep and sometimes they’re overwhelming and this happens. Just... Trust me and follow my lead on this?”

A beat. Tommy tries to wipe his eyes but tears keep streaming down his face.

“Okay. I trust you.”

Tommy can’t see but he has a feeling Benrey is smiling a little at that.

Benrey and Gordon both begin to whisper reassurances and ask him what he can feel around him. They talk and talk and talk until eventually, Tommy can finally see them again and the anxiety in his chest is manageable.

“Thank you...” Tommy gives them a weak smile.

“Bad visions?” Benrey guesses. Gordon looks mildly confused but doesn’t ask questions. Tommy nods in response. “You... Wanna share or nah?”

Tommy’s gaze lowers. He sucks in a small breath. “It- it was a lot of bad timelines with you two. And I-...” He hesitated for just a minute but thinking of the timelines again made him push through it. “And I really care about both of you. A lot. In- in a platonic as well as a... A romantic way.”

Silence. Tommy swallowed thickly, not wanting to look at either of them and unsure if he made the wrong choice to tell them or not.

“Oh thank god, I’m not the only one.” Gordon blurted out. He let out a long breath, laughing softly. “I was- fuck, I was really struggling there.”

Benrey cracked a smile. “Cringe Gordon can’t deal with gay feelings? How embarrassing for you. Can’t believe I have gay thoughts for such a loser.” His eyes turn to Tommy and his smile grew. “I guess having gay thoughts for a really cool guy balances it out so it’s chill.”

Tommy couldn’t stop smiling. Was this really happening? Were they really all just on the same page? “R-really?”

Benrey shrugs. “‘M kinda surprised, thought I was obvious.”

“You’re not obvious with anything.” Gordon tells him, rolling his eyes but relaxing his shoulders.

“I...” Tommy let out a laugh. “I- I really care about you both! And- and after we get out of Black Mesa... I want us to stay this close.”

Benrey nodded. “‘Course we will. You’re some of my best bros and how else would I kiss you both goodnight like all bros should?”

Gordon snickered, then cleared his throat. “Hey uh... Have we all just been holding this in the entire time even though we all felt the same-!”

“YES.” Bubby screaming from across the room made all three jump in surprise. Bubby and Coomer were both sitting by the door, Bubby wrapped in Coomer’s arms but he still scowled at the three of them. “You’ve all been pining like a bunch of fucking idiots. Just ask a guy out by setting half a building on fire like a regular person!”

Tommy looked back at the other two and laughed to himself. Soon enough, the three of them were laying down again but this time, Tommy wrapped his arms around one each and held them close to him. In the morning, they could talk more about the three of them and their newly forming relationship, but for now, they deserved to rest.

Gordon’s head rested against Tommy’s shoulder while Benrey clung to him. Tommy felt his eyes get heavier and heavier but he wasn’t as afraid of getting a bad vision. Partly because he had two of the most important people in his life in his arms and he knew that those futures wouldn’t be his, but also partly because even if the visions did get to him, he had support when he woke up.

His own personal paradise. There was a light at the end of the tunnel and Tommy knew that by the end of this, he wanted both of them by his side and in his life for a long time.

—

I don’t know why this turned into a Tommy Lore/Angst Fest BUT hopefully it turned out alright! I hope you liked it! These three are veryyyy soft and it was sure fun to write! Feel free to send in another request if you want!

[bubbyleh]

Do I Know You? - Chapter 4

minor content warning, there are allusions to a child being taken from their family in the last section. if you want to skip it, just feel free to only read the last 3 paragraphs, since it sums up what bubs learned from that.

Chapter 4: B-K55

It isn’t actually that late when Bubby makes it back to their dorm, around nine at night, but they’re still a little shocked to find Coomer waiting for them at their kitchen table. They’ve barely managed to close the door, file weighing heavily in their hand, before Coomer’s on them.

“Bubby!” he shouts, and before Bubby knows it, Harold’s yanking them down into a hug. “Thank goodness you’re okay, you’ve been gone for so long!”

“It was an hour,” Bubby comments. They try to draw back, but Coomer just pulls them further into the hug, cradling their head against his shoulder

“They’ve never called you after hours for a noble reason. Did they try something?” His tone turns uncharacteristically harsh. “I swear Bubby, if they did anything, I’ll march down there and I’ll-”

“Harold.” Bubby shimmies out of Coomer’s grasp, tucking the folder under their arm and taking his hands into their own. “It was just a meeting. I’m fine.” He glances past Coomer, into the kitchen. “Did Kleiner leave already?”

“We wrapped up about thirty minutes ago,” Coomer says, but he seems unconvinced. “You’d tell me if something was wrong, though, wouldn’t you?”

“Of course,” Bubby assures him. He grabs the folder once more. “Actually, well… it sounds like there isn’t going to be any more testing?”

“What do you mean no more testing?” Coomer glances down at the file in Bubby’s hands. “What happened?”

Bubby sighs. “I’m so tired. This has been the longest night of my life.” They pinch the bridge of their nose. “Can we talk in bed?”

Coomer’s hand cups Bubby’s chin, thumb lightly brushing back and forth on their cheek. It’s a simple gesture, but early in their relationship, Harold had caught Bubby lightly ghosting a finger along his right cheek. When Bubby explained that it was calming to them, in a strange way, Coomer realized he had discovered his partner’s instant relax button.

Bubby leans into the touch, smiling in the same content way they do whenever Coomer uses his special calming technique on them. They place their hand on top of his, holding it there.

“What would I do without you?” Bubby wonders aloud, all the love in the world in their voice.

- ○ -

Bubby ends up spilling the beans to Coomer with their face buried into his chest, voice slightly muffled. It's a little difficult to understand them, but based on how tightly they're gripping onto him, it seems like Bubby needs this.

When morning comes, Coomer let's Bubby sleep in, quietly slipping from their grasp. It’s a Saturday, too, so at least they don’t have to worry about work. With all the stress that Biological Research put them through the night before, they deserve it.

As he leaves the bedroom, Coomer spots the file. Bubby had left it on their bedside table before they went to sleep, making plans to sort through it when they woke up. He’s struck by the feeling that, whatever’s written inside there, it’s not going to be pleasant to read.

Maybe he should get started on breakfast.

- ○ -

For as long as Bubby can remember, Biological Research had told him that he was

their

creation. That his DNA was specially crafted by the sharpest minds Black Mesa had to offer, so of course there was nobody out there. He had no mother, but in the file, there was a picture of a woman who held him as if he were the most precious thing in the world. He didn’t have a father either, even though the file clearly showed him being lifted by a large pair of hands. And there certainly weren’t any siblings, despite the small hands he held onto as he tried to stand.

Reading that file would go against everything he thought he knew. Everything Black Mesa wanted him to think.

So maybe Bubby’s a little nervous. They’ve been on shaky foundations ever since Dr. Cynthia’s phone call and their meeting yesterday, and they’re pretty sure that there’s a bomb inside that file that’s going to knock them out for at least a whole day.

If—and that’s a huge if—Black Mesa kept information on Bubby’s family, he isn’t sure what to expect from it. What if they hated him, so much that they wanted to get rid of him? Is that even possible? To hate a baby so much that you’d just give them away?

But the alternative almost seems worse. Bubby’s family could have loved him, more than even the nicest scientists at Black Mesa ever showed them. And, for whatever reason, they lost him.

The willful ignorance almost seems preferable. If he loses either way, then maybe the best strategy is not to play.

The only problem is the fact that Harold can see right through them.

“Bubby, I thought you were going to read through your file today?” Coomer asks when he catches them curling up on the couch.

“Oh, uh-” Bubby struggles. “Yeah, but I’m going to take a nap first.”

“You woke up less than an hour ago,” Coomer counters.

Bubby shoots him a glare. “I’m tired.”

“Nope! You aren’t!” Coomer sits down on the couch, laying a hand on the side of Bubby’s head. “You’re being avoidant.”

“Maybe that’s the smart thing to do,” Bubby mutters, crossing his arms and looking back at Harold.

Coomer sighs. “You’ve been talking for years about how you would love to get your hands on that file. What happened?”

“It’s different now.” Bubby sits up and leans against his fiancé. “I don’t know a lot about what they did to me, or what they took, but… what I do know scares me.” They wring their hands together. “What if it’s bad?”

With a frown, Coomer takes Bubby’s hand into his own. “Well, we already know it’s going to be bad, don’t we? It’s Black Mesa we’re talking about.” That gets Bubby to chuckle slightly under their breath. “I can’t make you read it, but whatever it is, it’s in the past,” he assures them. “We can handle it.”

Bubby allows themself a brief moment by Coomer’s side. It’s in times like these when the thought strikes them of how lucky they are to have him. Before they’d met Harold, they had been content to sit on their own and spiral out of control. It’s nice now to have someone to ground them when they need it. They take a deep breath, and the second they let it out, they stand in front of the couch and face Harold.

“Okay,” Bubby finally says. He points at Coomer. “You’re going to stay right there. We’ll read the file together, alright?”

Coomer only smiles.

- ○ -

The best place to start is the beginning.

With the continuation of Biological Research’s augmentation and enhancement projects, it became apparent that Black Mesa would be unable to provide an adequate test subject through fabrication. Efforts were then put forward to identify a potential subject within the general population.

While many subjects were considered, one was identified for extraction. Due to this subject’s limited number of family members, they were quickly selected above others. Monitoring of the residence and analysis into records revealed that this child was known as Bethany Kleiner.

Bubby stops reading out loud. “Oh, that’s. A coincidence.”

Coomer frowns, eyebrows furrowing at the document that Bubby holds so tightly in his grip. “Hang on a moment. Keep reading.”

Preparations for the acquirement of the subject are underway. Once extraction is complete, they will be redubbed Subject B-K55. Beforehand, all of the subject’s known relatives will receive a pre-emptive blacklist from the Black Mesa Research Facility. This includes their parents, David and Lillith Kleiner, as well as their brother

Suddenly, Bubby gasps, cutting themself off. They cover their mouth with one hand, staring down at the file in disbelief.

“Bubby?!” Coomer grabs onto his shoulder. “Are you alright!?”

“No, it’s- it isn’t a coincidence!” Bubby manages to stammer out. “I have a brother, Harold, he’s-” They pause. “Isaac’s my brother.”

[aphspain-pure]

Spanish Gold in Moscow

@hetaliamondaychallenge September 28: “Chaos isn’t meant to be understood”. 

Category: Fanfic. 

Pair: RusSpa (Russia x Spain).

Words: 2.073.

Genre: Historical, Drama, angst, shounen-ai. 

Note(s): During the Spanish Civil War (1936-1939) the Sencond Spanish Republic was completely ignored by Europe, while the fascist that had rebealed were helped by some militar forces. Spain was basically used as a test game of the military armament and strategy before the 2WW. The only country that gave real help to the Republic was the USSR. To finance the war, the government spent all the Spanish gold. 

1938

With an absolute ill look in his face, Spain, who still liked to considerate himself as the Second Spanish Republic, moved his gaze to the door that opened a few seconds before.

Nations could perceive other nations in a certain rate, so he wasn’t really surprised when the other entered the room; he had sensed him from far away, knowing he was leading to his position. Weary eyes without the so-called typical Spanish shine looked at the other, a little smile crossing his feverish face.

- Buenos días, Rusia.

Right in front of him, heavy, enormous and clearly powerful, the actual leader of the giant Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, Russia, stared back at him with his famous sweet smile. Spain didn’t have known him till a pair of centuries ago, but he knew about this certain characteristic even before personally meeting him. He heard from France, England, Prussia, Austria and even Denmark about this “gentle look monster” that was so big and terrifying in the east.

Anyway, Spain didn’t have really hated this guy even once; he was actually grateful for his performance during the Napoleonic wars, though. If it wouldn’t have been for the Russian forces, France’s troops wouldn’t have retired from his vital territory and he wouldn’t have regained his independence. He sighed, trying to get rid of the thoughts of the past.

He was now, currently, going to lose his independence against his own people, in the middle of the worst civil war he had ever have –and Spain was certainly a country that had endured quite some civil wars-.

A strong ache tortured his mind while he suffered a new wave of deaths. Every time his people died, his body would burn and a painful sensation split him in two. They were dying at that very moment, out there, in the valley of the Ebro, killing each other in a battle that had been going on for months. He nearly cried, but couldn’t afford doing it in front of the power that was standing over there, staring at him with a complicated look in his eyes.

After a few moments, Russia, still smiling even if Spain’s looks were terrible, spoke with a calmed voice. – How are your wounds? –he had asked.

A quick smile was formed in the Spaniard’s mouth, quite ironic.

- Well, my right arm has grown up again, so I can’t complain.

Russia stared at the renewed arm, where a few days ago only a stump could have been appreciated. They, nations, received wounds just like humans but their bodies weren’t actually the same. If they were cut, they would recover; if they lost blood, after resting for a while they’d be up again; if they were burn till ashes, they would start to be reborn just like a Fenix. If they were killed, they wouldn’t die.

Only another nation could kill one.

Even if Spain had lately started to question if a nation could kill itself, just like how he was feeling during these days in which he thought he was actually going to be destroyed by his own people.

Russia’s hand reached him and touched his back. He jumped for a moment, sored. He then relaxed, looking far away and not giving attention to the hands that touched his still bleeding injuries. 

When a certain happening was so bad, so traumatic, that it gave the nations nearly-coma state, the injuries would still remain bleeding some time. Sometimes it lasted days, sometimes centuries. Those were produced by the bombing, the Biltz, in Guernica, and they still bleed after a year.

He trembled, just by remembering it. The hand in his back made him shiver in pain, but it was the most comforting thing he could afford to have those days, so he didn’t say anything.

Then, he gained composure and faced the other.  - What are you doin’ here, anyway? I thought you were going back at your place for some bureaucracy stuff.

Russia remained silent.

That silence made Spain worry.

He didn’t hate Russia at all. He was nice to him, and every time they had met he could only see a true innocence behind the brute and scary dude everyone saw. He liked him quite a bit, and he lately, during his few peaceful years with a Republic, found out that he was such an intelligent and interesting chat partner. Thanks to the leftist ideology of his government the relations with the Soviet Union had been pretty good, so they had become nearly friends at this point.

He even had became the only nation helping him in this suicidal situation.

During civil wars Spain, normally, stayed apart and watched his people decide his fate. He disliked choosing between his beloved people, so que stayed aside.

This time, he couldn’t.

He had seen what happened with Italy after the Great War. The fascism grow up and ate Ita-chan and Romano completely. The brutality that came with it made Spain shiver from his position in the neighbour peninsula. He didn’t recognise his cute Italian brothers with those black shirts and that dark look in their face. Then it expanded to Germany and developed into the National Socialism, which happened to be even worse. A virus was expanding all over Europe and even reached his brother, Portugal.

Spain could have seen it coming. He even spoke with a few general of the army and old requetés, he tried to create a flexible government just to evade the incoming clash. But it was all in vain.

The military coup happened, and while it wasn’t effective, war broke out.

It may be pathetic coming from a country that used to be a world power but, this time, Spain feared his people. That’s why he stayed with the republicans. That’s why he suddenly started dying from the insides.

And while Spain was in that desperate situation, Europe didn’t mind at all and, trying to avoid a Second World War, signed a No Intervention Pact in which 27 countries swore not to intervene in his civil war. That had broken Spain’s heart, who found himself suddenly isolated and left apart, left to die alone. It was even worse when, even if knowing it, the United Kingdom looked away while the Nazi Germany and Mussolini’s Italy broke that pact and helped the rebels. He couldn’t believe England’s coward attitude.

But it was kinda worst when he watched his closest friends actually attack him, help the fascist rebels.

First, the Italian brothers; then, Germany, Austria and Prussia under the name of the Third Reich. Portugal also attacked the Republic by sending his Viriatos and even the American self-proclaimed Hero’s Ford Company sent help to destroy him. All his old friends were against him. He, on the other hand, only received some fusils from Mexico and a few airplanes from a very scared France, who refused to send more help. The only one who lent him it’s power was the Soviet Union, or preferably Russia.

He still remembered when he had met Romano in the site of Toledo. Romano had been excited, he spoke about autarchy, about having a great colonial empire, and about things such as war being the way through the future. His golden eyes sparkled when he had, for the first time in centuries, hugged Spain.

If you join us I promise we’ll bring this to an end.  –he had whispered, while speaking about how great it was being a fascist country.

He had been then, suddenly, pulled apart by a giant body that happened to be his ally, Russia, who looked at Romano with electric violet cruel eyes. Spain could have said something to stop a conflict, but, when he looked at Roma, he couldn’t longer see his cute tomato-like crybaby. In the past Romano would have cried and call him to save him but, then, he held his gaze prideful, strong and dangerous in front of the terrible Russia.

A bombing had made them react and, when he came to himself, he was with the International Brigades heading to Madrid.

Remembering all of that made him feel sick and hided half of his face while looking at the floor with a tired smile.  

He suddenly had an urge to vomit, but he managed to stay calm and recover a moment later. – Sorry, I beg you excuse me. My house is total chaos now, no, wait… EUROPE is a total chaos now, haha…! I don’t understand how or why, but it makes me think things a way too much.

- Chaos isn’t meant to be understood.

That statement made Spain stay quiet and, then, he looked with his nearly dead green eyes at the other.

- I’m going to ask again, Russia. –he said, this time, cautious-. Why are you here?  

- You haven’t paid me to help you lately.

And if he had frozen before, this time Spain had lost all the blood of his veins.

He started sweating. He wanted to cry, but he couldn’t.

- Y-yeah, I-I know… It’s just that all the gold that I’ve been keeping in my reserves has been already taken to Moscow, so I-I…

Russia’s voice was sweet but cold as ice. – You’re not going to pay for my services.

The Spaniard’s eyes opened at his full.

- No! Don’t even think ‘bout that! I’ll pay, I swear it! It’s just that, right now, my people are starving, we don’t have armament and the industry it’s all stopped. I can’t now but, when we win, I’ll return what I owe! A-and I’ll even make it double…! I’ll work hard, I swear. But, now, with all my old gold gone, I…

- So you’re not paying.

The calmed voice made Spain feel like if he were to hyperventilate. He felt like crashing. Like glass about to break.

- I’m not. –he confirmed then.

The taller man stood up, and Spain followed him, clearly desperate.

- Y-you can’t leave me, Russia! If I don’t have your help I’m lost! –after hearing those words the Slavic turned around and faced him, with his so-typical smile in his face.

- So you’ll pay me?

The brunette looked away, clearly ashamed. – I have… nothing to pay you with. B-but I promise..!

- Нет. You can pay me. –response that took an ¿hah..? out of Spain. Russia laughed in a calmed way and then, explained. – Even if you don’t have anything you still possess your body, da?

And Spain’s eyes darkened.

Ah, true. Nation prostitution.

It had been a while.

It used to be so common in the past that he didn’t know why he felt so surprised when Russia suggested it. It may have been ‘cause Russia is fairly younger than himself, or ‘cause the times have changed. He had been so accustomed to it even when he was a child that it wasn’t so much of a surprise finding out that some new power wanted to take advantage of his position to appeal to this. Spain could easily remember when he was forced to be Rome’s or the Islamic Empire’s sex-boy, or even Turkey’s or France’s. Well, he had also been like that with some nations; but, well, let he who is without sin cast the first stone, and he was also a sinner after all.  

He looked back at Russia and sighed. – Is this old damaged body worth all the gold I could have had afford to pay you weeks before? –and Russia’s aura became surprisingly pink, just like a happy kid’s.

- And much more! I’m happy so I’ll help you.

And leaned forward to kiss Spain’s forehead. Spain rised an eyebrow, but let him be, anyway. He needed help and Russia was eager to help him only receiving some affectionate touches here and there in return. There were worst things he could have had to do.

Another wave of pain drove him crazy sored and let himself drown in the straw bed he had been using before. He took a deep breath. 

Then, when the fever started to be stable again, spoke directly to Russia.

- Well, then, how about a quickie? I have to go back to the battlefield in 30 minutes and I think I could come back quite worse than now, ha ha. –he had laughed, with his shiny –and now tiny- smile.

Russia smiled back, getting rid of his Soviet general military hat while getting closer to the sun-burned skinned nation. He sat, and grabbed the other’s cheeks with a gloved strong hand. That tranquil smile crossed his happy face.

- Let me tell you this is going to be a payment in instalments.

[kpop-ruined-my-social-life]

Johnny NS*W Alphabet

Gonna put this under the cut cause I know some of yall wanna get to some other writings or something + these can get super long with all the gaps

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Small types of aftercare right after but the morning expect breakfast and a shower/bath as well as a few hours to just relax before he goes off to work. Loves loves loves playing with your hair after, cup his cheek and run your thumb over his cheek bone to soothe him to sleep please

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Likes his hair, I know it doesn’t count as a body part but pull his hair or pull at or run your fingers through it legit just do something to it he wants it and he needs it. On you he loves your hips and the top of your thighs, is the type to wrap his arms under your thighs and grip the sides or tops when he is going down on you in order to keep you still

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Honestly doesn’t care and follows the moment, some nights are for sure condom nights and others he does it inside you. Just feels it out and takes in the situation. If it is a quick thing then expect him not to cum inside you but I really only see him to cum inside on occasion where it is more love making than fucking ya know?

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Once watched a porn with Jaehyun and they ended up getting off in the same room “bro don’t look at my dick!” “bro I’m not I swear” “dude this is weird” “just stop fucking talking damn” (any of which are quotes interchangeable between the two)

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I see him having for sure one previous partner but no more than three. Isn’t one for one night stands either but has had one friends with benefits but it ended because it just got super awkward after a few booty calls

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Likes having you on your back while pushing the back of your thighs so you’re basically bent in half lol, loves the view of being able to perfectly see himself going in and out of you

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Never really has goofy sex and is more on the serious side but sometimes one of you will see the other make a weird face or something and you’ll end up laughing but then right after be moaning again because he keeps pounding into you

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Pretty wild, I don’t see it being super long but like I honestly don’t think he trims or shaves it. If it makes you uncomfortable though just tell him and he’ll trim it down but going bald is a no go cause he thinks that's weird and doesn’t want to be able to just clearly see his own dick lol

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Pretty intimate but only when making love, when you guys are fucking it is just chasing the high but after and before expect love and romanticism

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Oof maybe like 1-4 times a week, I don’t see him getting much alone time since there are so many members around him constantly and prob tries to do it in the shower but then someone needs in the bathroom and he ends up having to have blue balls or something

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

I see him as being pretty vanilla and stereotypical, unlike some I think he just likes simple stuff like spanking and authority play but that is really it. Def the type who says like “I think we need to spice up our sex life” and pulls out a container of salt or something as a joke

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Bedroom, shower, kitchen, etc. Anything at home. Like I said he is pretty vanilla but if you entice him to fuck somewhere other than the bedroom he’s gonna most likely be down

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Just show a bit of skin and touch on his arms or twirl your fingers through his hair or something and he will literally go crazy, tap your fingers down on his arm or chest and it is even better

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Since I said he is pretty vanilla, I still see him down to try stuff tho, he doesn’t like turn down much stuff if its just trying it and doing it once or something but he will n o t put anything inside of him or ever do something that would be like vib panties and turning them on in public or something

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Loves giving, although I see Johnny as a dom and mainly just a dom I see him as someone who just loves eating you out for d a y s, go back to what I said about wrapping his arms around your legs and holding you still

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Keeps a pretty general pace every time, he likes taking his time but hates going too slow. He likes taking his time in order to savor the moment and the feeling but hates going slow cause it is almost like teasing you and him

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Doesn’t hate them, you guys have done it before but like I said he is one to take his time, if there is a quickie sometimes you guys don’t completely finish due to not wanting to be late or almost getting caught

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

I mentioned he is down to try almost anything so he is okay with taking a few risks here and there but he refuses to do anything that could put his group and his and your own privacy in jeopardy

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Decent, prob goes like 1 round of foreplay and 1 good round of sex, I don’t see him wanting to go a bunch of times unless he is super sexually frustrated 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Nah, I mean if you like them then he’ll use them but he is reluctant to them even if they are something super indifferent and simple

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Prefers to be teased rather than to tease, sometimes if you come to dance practice or something then he’ll dance a way to purposely get you turned on or just simple ignoring your own teasing which makes it even worse (if that makes sense)

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Quiet, a moan and groan here and there but def more a heavy breather, doesn’t really make a lot of noise and hardly ever whimpers and whines. Sometimes grunts when he is close and he thrusts sloppily and gets in those last few thrusts before creaming lol

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Likes early morning sex, especially on days off, it just completely relaxes him and just lets him start out the day nicely and super calm and focused

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He is a tall boy but he is also skinny (sorry Johnny boy isn’t part of the BTG so), I see him as like maybe a bit above average like 7.5-8.5in which a decent width and gives a nice burn and stretch the first time he enters but then quickly dies out into pleasure

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

While he doesn’t really get sexually frustrated he does get stressed easily, but you also get little to no time alone, that comes with there being so many members in his group, he prob wants to go like 3 times min a week but you guys go maybe 2 a week avg

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

30 minutes to an hour later, he kisses your head goodnight and wraps his arms around you and as soon as his head hits that pillow and his eyes flutter close with an i love you mumbled through a very very tired Johnny’s lips he falls asleep

[ibijau]

demon NHS // On AO3

Set after wwx freed the Wens, and a little before NHS meets his mother

The last notes hung in the air, giving the room a peaceful air it often lacked. Lan Xichen had not often had the occasion to come into Nie Huaisang’s quarters before things took the turn they had, but it had been enough to find out the other boy, trying so hard to be elegant and refined in public, hid a messy side in private. It had grown worse lately. Back when Lan Xichen started playing music to help him keep his nature under control, Nie Huaisang at least made efforts to put some order to his things.

For his last two visits, the mess had been allowed to remain. 

It was not the only sign that Nie Huaisang was struggling more and more with the situation. There was also the lack of care with which he had dressed himself, the state of his hair, the way he no longer smiled when Lan Xichen joked. And that was only what Lan Xichen himself could see. Nie Mingjue had mentioned terrible arguments between them, usually on the subject of Wei Wuxian. 

Nie Huaisang, apparently, was of the opinion that although his manners had not been ideal, Wei Wuxian had been right to interrupt the Flower Banquet and demand to be given an account of the surviving Wen's treatment, that the Jin's actions needed to be investigated, especially those of Jin Zixun. In short, he wanted Qinghe Nie to give support to Wei Wuxian. Nie Mingjue, however fair he tried to be in other matters, refused to listen in that one, arguing that the lives of some Wen dogs were not worth so much trouble, and that Nie Huaisang would do well to forget he had ever been friends with Wei Wuxian. 

In truth, a similar discussion was happening between Lan Xichen and his own brother, though with a great deal less shouting. Wei Wuxian was not a man of many friends, but those he had certainly were fiercely loyal to him. 

And yet news had just arrived from Yiling about Jiang Wanyin visiting his brother, about Wei Wuxian seceding from Yunmeng Jiang… 

"Is Er-ge too angry at me?" Nie Huaisang asked. 

His train of thoughts interrupted, Lan Xichen's gaze fell on the other man, still in a meditative position, his eyes closed. In spite of the song played to him, there was little peace to be found on his handsome face. It made Lan Xichen sad that he could not help more. They had never been particularly close before this started, and even now Nie Huaisang probably would not have called him a friend, not when he had Jin Guangyao and Wei Wuxian, but still… Lan Xichen felt an ever deepening fondness for the unfortunate young man, and wished he could have done more. 

He missed how insouciant Nie Huaisang used to be, how easily he would laugh. Lan Xichen didn't think he'd heard him laugh since his nature had been revealed.

"Who do you think is angry at you, Huaisang?" 

Nie Huaisang opened his eyes and gave him a long, tired look, as if to signify he found the question a particularly stupid one. 

"Da-ge is furious that I want to help Wei Wuxian," he pointed out. "That's why he called you here, he thinks I must be going crazy if I agree with protecting a bunch of Wen. San-ge is upset that when I yelled at his father and everyone else, I've ruined all our hard work in making me look weak and insignificant, which is why he also wants you here to calm me. And then there's everyone else who is just generally angry that I'm still around and wants me dead, but I don't much care what they think. Your opinion I do care about. Are you angry too, Er-ge? "

Lan Xichen winced at the ease with which Nie Huaisang spoke of being so hated. Sadly, it was a fair assessment. Nie Huaisang, even more than Wei Wuxian, had few people on his side outside of his sect (or even inside it). Hearing him publicly stand up for his friend had certainly not endeared him to anyone, just as it probably made Wei Wuxian's own case worse. 

"You have done nothing that Wangji did not do as well, although perhaps a little more noisily. I am not angry at him for doing what he thought was right, so I see no reason to be angry at you either."

"He's your brother, it's different," Nie Huaisang pouted. 

"We're family as well, in a sense, and so I will extend the same good will to you as I would show any brother of mine. I am not angry at you, Huaisang." 

"Unhappy then. Upset?" 

"Worried," Lan Xichen conceded. "I wish more people saw you the way your brother, A-Yao, and me see you." 

Nie Huaisang snorted in disdain, but something still relaxed in his expression and he finally stretched out of his meditation posture. 

"Useless and foolish and only good at getting in trouble, that's me!" 

"Clever when you feel like it and devoted to the people you care about," Lan Xichen countered. "I will not contest that you are rather good at getting in trouble, but lately that's only because people around you are unreasonable." 

A weak smile found its way to Nie Huaisang’s lips. 

"Er-ge is too kind." he sighed. "I wish Da-ge and San-ge saw this the same way as you do. I'm glad they finally agree on something again, I just wish it weren't on how much I messed up." 

For some reason, Lan Xichen felt an impulse to pet Nie Huaisang’s hair or hug him or just do something to comfort him. It was just so wrong for him to be so melancholic. But it would have been improper for Lan Xichen to be so informal with him when they weren't that close, so he restrained himself. 

"I'm sure they're just worried, like me," he said. "I will be going back to them now. If they are just worried I'll scold them for not showing it more kindly. If they are angry… I'll try to deal with that for you." 

Nie Huaisang broke into a large, happy smile, and thanked him profusely for that promise. For a moment he looked almost like the cheerful boy he used to be, and just that would be worse the headache Lan Xichen was sure to get while trying to get his sworn brothers to calm down. 

-

"Of course I'm angry at him," Nie Mingjue huffed while Jin Guangyao poured tea for all three of them. "That little idiot, losing control over something like that!" 

"He did not lose control," Lan Xichen protested, smiling at Jin Guangyao when he handed him a cup of tea. "In fact, I remember him backing off the instant you ordered him to." 

"Storming off and going after Wangji and that girl who defected is not backing down."

Lan Xichen frowned, but before he could protest, Jin Guangyao intervened. 

"It was really bad timing, and I wish Huaisang had kept quiet. Now people will certainly think that he is associated with what Wei Wuxian is doing with those Wen cultivators. Our Didi's reputation did not need that."

Jin Guangyao sounded genuinely worried, as he always did when their conversation were about Nie Huaisang. Lan Xichen dared not imagine what his sworn brother must have heard when Nie Mingjue was not around to keep people quiet.

"Did you investigate what was going on in that camp?" Lan Xichen asked. "Was there any truth to Wei Wuxian's claims?" 

"Some of the guards were at times a little rough," Jin Guangyao conceded with a sigh. "But nothing more than a little bullying, a few unkind words here and there. Jin Zixun swears that the incident Wei Wuxian described also never happened, and as we know, Wei Wuxian could have a grudge against him." 

"Jin Zixun is not the most trustworthy person out there," Lan Xichen pointed out. 

Jin Guangyao froze in the movement of sipping some tea, and flashed him a pained look. "Er-ge, do you think I took him to his word? I asked others as well, of course. I know how my cousin can be when he gets upset, and I double checked." 

Lan Xichen felt embarrassed for having doubted his sworn brother's zeal. After such accusations, it was normal that Lanling Jin would have made sure that nothing wrong had happened within its ranks. Certainly Wei Wuxian had sounded very sincerely upset, and Nie Huaisang seemed to fully trust him, but… Jin Guangyao would not have lied to them.

"Go tell that to Huaisang then," Nie Mingjue said. "Maybe he'll stop moping around like a molting hawk if he just hears that he was wrong."

"Huaisang doesn't listen to anyone these days," Jin Guangyao sighed. "Me least of all, since I have nothing to say that he wants to hear." 

Nie Mingjue reluctantly nodded to that, glaring at his half empty cup of tea as if it were responsible for the unease between him and his brother.

"I think he's bored," Lan Xichen hazarded. "He's been very isolated since this all started, and now he can't even write to his best friend. You can't fault him for being upset." 

“Then perhaps Huaisang needs more… appropriate friends,” Jin Guangyao suggested. “I know Jin Zixuan is organising a Night Hunt in a few weeks with a few others. I think if I asked him, he would agree to invite Huaisang.”

“A Night Hunt?” Nie Mingjue grunted. “Isn’t that going against everything you’ve been telling him to do for over a year?”

That was Lan Xichen’s thought as well. They had worked so hard to make it clear that Nie Huaisang was harmless, it would ruin everything if he started slaying monsters. Besides, even before the truth came out, Nie Huaisang had never enjoyed Night Hunting, so this seemed like a rather poor way to find him friends.

“Don’t worry, Da-ge,” Jin Guangyao said with a pleasant smile. “It is not the sort of Hunt you would go on. As I understand, quite a few young ladies have been invited, most of which just so happen to be either engaged to Jin Zixuan and friends of his, or hoped to become so in the future. The boys are going there to show off, the girls are going there to admire them. If Nie Huaisang stays with the girls during the actual Night Hunt there’s no risk at all, but he’ll show again how tame he is. It had worked quite well during the Phoenix Mountain Hunt, right?”

“I don’t like it,” Nie Minjgue insisted. “I’m not worried about fierce corpses and monsters, I’m worried about what would happen if someone decided to take their chance and attacked him.”

“Then send a few trusted Nie disciples with him if you’d like. But you needn’t worry. Jin Zixuan would not allow any harm to come to him. In fact, since Nie Huaisang has so openly declared himself in favour of Wei Wuxian, it is likely that my brother, put in his presence, will try to befriend him even without my prompting him to do so. After all Lady Jiang will be there and he is still very eager to impress his fiancée.”

Even with this promise, Nie Mingjue looked unconvinced, so Jin Guangyao turned to Lan Xichen for support, silently pleading for his help. On any other subject, Lan Xichen would have quickly sided with him, but for once he felt uncertain.

“Wouldn’t it be simpler to organise an occasion where he could meet with Jin Zixuan and chat with him alone?” he suggested. “I think Huaisang could get along with him if he tried, but I’m less sure about the crowd that usually follows him. Would Jin Zixun be there?"

"He sees Wei Wuxian in every shadow these days, so that's very unlikely," Jin Guangyao explained. "As for your idea… Er-ge, it is possible for my father to allow Nie Huaisang to join a Night Hunt if Jin Zixuan requests it, but meeting in private would be too much considering the current… situation. Otherwise, I would not have suggested an activity Huaisang dislikes this much."

It made sense, sadly. Jin Guangshan had never directly taken sides against Nie Huaisang, but he had also made no effort to silence those who did. Yet with how fond he was of his only legitimate child, it might work if Jin Zixuan started arguing in favour of Nie Huaisang. 

"I suppose it might not be bad," Lan Xichen admitted. "He looked very unhappy earlier." Like a caged bird with clipped wings, he thought. Like a flower cut and displayed in a vase, starting to wilt for lack of roots. "He can't stay in his room for the rest of his life, Mingjue."

Even with the most logical of arguments, Jin Guangyao could never have convinced Nie Mingjue. Yet now that Lan Xichen approved it, the plan was instantly less distasteful. 

"I'd be sending him with the best disciples his age," Nie Mingjue warned. "And he'd be taking his sabre." 

"It would be odd if he didn't take it," Jin Guangyao replied with a note of amusement. "This is a Night Hunt in name at least, and it would be unseemly for a cultivator of his rank to appear without his weapon. The same goes for him having companions. He is the Second Master of Qinghe Nie, of course he cannot travel alone. Da-ge, I also want Huaisang to be safe ! Tell me all your conditions, and as soon as I return to Lanling, I will talk with Jin Zixuan to see if he agrees to help. Everything will be fine, Da-ge.”

Nie Mingjue looked unconvinced, but started naming his demands, which Jin Guangyao listened to without a single protest.

It would be good for Huaisang to be around people again, Lan Xichen told himself. It would force him out of his melancholy, and it might make him a little more reasonable in his views of Wei Wuxian if he could just have other people to talk to.

It would be good for him.

And yet, Lan Xichen couldn’t help feeling at least as worried as Nie Mingjue was.

[fandom-necromancer]

Sometimes broken is perfect

This was prompted by the wonderful @sparklingrainbowdragon! Enjoy!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Jerry/Ralph (Warnings: description of domestic abuse by partner (neither from Jerry nor from Ralph))

‘Why can’t you be normal?’ ‘Normal?’ The silence following was a stark contrast to the screaming before and Ralph was very self-conscious about having rung the bell. None of them seemed to have heard the ringing over their argument and Ralph contemplated whether he should press the button again or wait for a better time. But it was the right date and the right time, Jerry had told him he would be free now to help him settle in. So, he rang the bell again. ‘Babe I-‘ the ringing interrupted him. ‘I didn’t mean it like that, sorry! I… I love you, you know that? Just… You are so different and I…’ ‘They are waiting.’ ‘Right. Jerry, darling, let’s talk about it later, okay? Please, I didn’t mean it.’

With that the door opened and Ralph immediately ducked, embarrassed and feeling out of place. Android tears didn’t leave their eyes red and puffed, but he could still make out the hastily wiped away wet spots. ‘Hello, we’re Jerry’, the android greeted with a forced smile. ‘We are sorry you had to hear that. We… had an argument, it doesn’t happen often, we swear! You must be Ralph?’ He nodded, shouldering his small bag of belongings and lifting his box. ‘Come on in!’ Ralph followed the other and closed the door behind him.

‘This is Marc, my boyfriend.’ The android sitting on the backrest of a couch gave him a little wave, then Jerry led him on. ‘This here is my room, down the hall is the bathroom and kitchen. We will share them together with the living room. This is yours.’ Jerry showed him a chamber with a bed and a desk. It wasn’t much, but it was far more than Ralph was being used to. It was his own and only his. ‘Thank you’, he said as Jerry handed him the keys. ‘Ralph is sorry, did he come at a bad time?’ Jerry cocked his head, but otherwise just smiled. ‘No, no, I mean it’s our fault, we told you this was a good time. We’re sorry, this really doesn’t happen so often. Marc… he is a really nice man. We just argued about… well, it doesn’t matter, but we’re so sorry.’ ‘It’s alright. Ralph doesn’t mind. Ralph will go unpack then.’ ‘Yeah… Good idea. Err… call us if you need anything!’

Ralph did unpack all his belongings, but he also kept an ear out for more screaming. He did mind, but that wasn’t something to say in the open. He just hoped it was true and that it happened only rarely. He had managed to place all his little plants on the windowsill as the front door slammed shut. It wasn’t his business though, so he continued placing the larger ones until he was content with their arrangement. With that the box was empty and all that was left to place were the things from his bag. He left most of it inside for now and only took out a small lime-green watering can. Then he left for the kitchen with it. Apparently, the boyfriend had left, and Ralph couldn’t help but feel relieved at the fact.

When he entered the kitchen, there suddenly were two Jerrys. Ralph may have stared a little too long, because one of them pulled a face and started explaining: ‘We should have told you before, but we are a hivemind, we share multiple bodies. We hope that is okay, you will likely see a few of us in the flat at the same time.’ ‘Oh, okay’, Ralph shrugged. ‘Can Ralph keep his watering can by the sink or do you mind?’ Apparently, Jerry had expected more questions, but caught on quickly. ‘Yes, of course. We don’t mind!’ Ralph just nodded and put it somewhere it wouldn’t be a hindrance, before retreating to his room again.

-

It happened again a few days later. Ralph had come home from his gardening job and had stepped out of the shower to wash away the earth from his hands. He was currently watering his own plants, as the door opened, and two pairs of angry steps came bursting in. ‘I told you it creeps people out! I don’t want to go to a party and be a part of your freakshow! I don’t want to explain to people how living with multiple people feels like! Goddamn, I’m not some gangbang enthusiast, I just don’t want to be looked upon like that!’ ‘But We’re only one person!’ ‘No! You are several units that humans forced to mindshare. Aren’t you free now? Why don’t you act like other androids?’ ‘This is just how we are!’ ‘No! This is how you have been! I want you; I don’t want them!’ ‘But we are them! We can’t work as a single unit!’ ‘Bullshit, every android can live alone. Don’t you fucking come at me with that card! Don’t you hide behind that excuse!’ There was a dull thud as if someone had been pushed against a wall.

‘Oh, my god. Oh, my god, babe, I didn’t mean to! I’m sorry. I don’t know what overcame me. Please, let me help you up…’ ‘Leave.’ It was silent, nearly inaudible for Ralph. ‘Babe, I-‘ ‘Please, leave.’ ‘Darling.’ ‘We can talk about it tomorrow, okay? I’m tired.’ Jerry really sounded exhausted. ‘Of course.’

Ralph sat in his room, hugging his watering can tight. He needed more water ever since they had entered the flat but hadn’t dared to leave just yet. Now that the door had fallen shut again though, he slowly opened the one to his own room. Jerry were sitting in the hallway staring straight ahead at the other wall. They only looked up as Ralph carefully stepped outside. ‘Are you alright?’, Ralph asked as general as possible. ‘We will be’, Jerry muttered, trying to get up and stopping as Ralph held out a hand for them to take. To his surprise, Jerry took him up on the offer. ‘He didn’t mean it. Work left him frustrated and tired and we really shouldn’t have brought more than one unit to the party. It was… We didn’t think about the effects and… We’re sorry.’ Ralph thought about how he could help. It wasn’t his place to judge them. So, he held out his can. ‘Do you want to help me water the plants? It relaxes.’ Jerry looked at him with slight bewilderment, but otherwise shrugged and nodded. ‘We could try.’

-

It had helped, Ralph tried to convince himself. It had helped them momentarily get their mind off the matter. But it did little to ease his own when he had heard them fight again and again. It never got violent, at least not more than pushing the other around. But he knew that didn’t diminish the pain it all caused.

Not when he could hear his roommate cry at night and how in the little time, he knew them, it was evident he became less enthusiastic and cheery. Also, the amount of time he saw Jerry’s other units around the flat was plummeting. Ralph wished he could help them better, could do something more to get them out of their situation, but he was too afraid to get involved. What if he was the reason worse happened if he made a move? He couldn’t bring himself to be more than a witness. To listen to Jerry’s cries and try to make it better when their boyfriend wasn’t there.

He couldn’t help but hope that Jerry would stop seeing him. Tell him to leave the flat or leave him altogether the next time he dared to do something to them. But he couldn’t just say that, not when Jerry was so sure on the man to be someone he evidently wasn’t. Not when he had no experience at all in these matters. He couldn’t say something to Jerry or their boyfriend, no matter how much he wanted to. He would just make it worse.

But that didn’t make it better either.

One evening he came late home from work because he had agreed to help the elderly woman whose garden he cared for with the groceries. Her son was out of town and Ralph didn’t have anything else to do either. Not wanting to go back home where he would spend his evening in his own room until Jerry’s boyfriend left, surely was another reason on top of that. That meant he came home at the same time they were screaming in the hallway. Jerry’s boyfriend was crowding the android and was shouting his by now usual phrases: ‘I don’t understand you! I don’t fucking understand you! You are weird. I once thought you were just joking, but you seriously enjoy these things? Damn, man up. I can’t believe it.’ ‘And what should I do in your opinion?’ ‘I don’t know! Be normal!’ The man raised his hand. ‘Stop it with the “we” and “us” you are one person! Stop being so fucking weird and-‘

‘You are drunk.’ Ralph had closed the door behind him and had watched the scene unfold. He hadn’t planned on voicing his observation, but it was too late now. ‘What’s it to you?’, Marc tried to shut him down. ‘Leave us alone.’ ‘Ralph’s room is behind you’, the android reminded him. ‘Then fuck off somewhere else, go for a walk, I don’t know!’ ‘Ralph can’t do this’, the WR600 stated. ‘Maybe Ralph should really overthink that and go be a baby somewhere else’, the man retorted, a threat underlying in his mocking tone. ‘Ralph would advise you doing the same thing. Before doing something, you’ll regret when sober.’ The man seemed to have forgotten Jerry was still there, as he turned towards Ralph, who regretted saying something and at the same time was glad he finally had found the courage. He was scared, as he towered over him, but Ralph had been scared before. He had to keep his calm, just like the androids at New Jericho had taught him. He had to stay himself and not do what he did with the humans that had made him deviate. He had to remind himself that if anything happened, it would be just another scar on his already ruined hull.

‘It’s a good idea, Marc’, Jerry carefully stepped in. ‘I will call you a taxi. We will talk about it tomorrow, okay? Later.’ ‘Later’, the man grumbled then and shouldered past Ralph out of the door. The moment the lock connected, Jerry let themselves slide down the wall. Ralph, not quite sure what to do, sat down next to him with appropriate distance in between. ‘Thank you’, Jerry sighed after several moments of silence. ‘We… We don’t know what he would have done today.’ ‘Do you love him?’, Ralph dared to ask. Jerry looked up to the ceiling, resting the back of their head against the wall. ‘We do. We still do. Must be confusing, hm?’ ‘Yes. Ralph doesn’t really understand’, he admitted. ‘We love… we still love the man Marc once was. And sometimes he still surfaces. That’s when we think this could still work and stay another day. We know he isn’t good for us.’ ‘He doesn’t accept what you are. He shouts at you and you are crying more days than you aren’t because of him. That’s not love.’

Jerry laughed, but it wasn’t amused, it was desperate. ‘That’s not how it works in real life. You choose someone you think is perfect, but if you expect them to stay perfect forever, you will be disappointed.’ ‘But shouldn’t a partner make your life better than it was when you were alone? Or at least not make it worse?’, Ralph asked. ‘It’s still hard to decide when you never knew normal’, Jerry said. ‘My life before the revolution wasn’t the best. Some days with him were really nice. When I’m not doing things that offend him or get him frustrated with me.’ ‘But is it worth playing that role?’, Ralph murmured. ‘Ralph can’t stand hearing you cry at night.’ ‘You can hear… We will try to be quieter.’ ‘No! Ralph meant he can’t stand knowing you are sad.’

‘Oh’, Jerry said in surprise and blushed slightly. ‘You do?’ ‘Yes, Ralph hates it if people are sad. Or scared. Ralph scared people for a long time. Humans did this to Ralph’, he said and pointed at his face that he normally hid under a cap. ‘And he has been… Ralph is not broken, but also not really functioning right. Jericho helped. Androids helped Ralph stay himself.’ ‘We are sorry.’ ‘It’s okay. Ralph is okay now. But Ralph wants to help you. Ralph wants to see you happy.’ ‘You want to… Why?’ ‘Ralph wants everyone to be happy. But now that you said you don’t know how that feels like, I really want to make you happy.’ ‘Why? We’re just your roommate. We haven’t even lived long together.’ Ralph sighed. ‘Ralph doesn’t really know it himself. But you look nice smiling. Ralph likes how easy you are enthusiastic about something and you look cute when…’ Ralph trailed off, realising how highly inappropriate it was to voice his feelings right now. ‘You are kind’, he therefore concluded. ‘And a kind person should be treated likewise.’

‘That’s very sweet of you’, Jerry whispered, looking at his shoes. ‘Unfortunately, no one would treat us like that. Marc is right in at least one aspect: Us being a hivemind would push people away. We are too different to other androids.’ ‘Ralph’s still here’, the android commented, side-eyeing the other. ‘What?’ ‘Ralph doesn’t mind you being different. Ralph thinks it is something unique that should be treasured.’ ‘And you are not just saying that to make me feel better?’, Jerry asked sceptically. ‘It’s one reason’, Ralph admitted. ‘But it’s also the truth.’

‘Then I agree. I should dump the asshole.’

[rotationalsymmetry]

Commenting on without reblogging. (Thing is about: communicating about what you’re upset about with your partner or whomever and not making them guess.) (I don’t remember if the original post was partner specific or like...roommates. I’m thinking about partners, but this can apply to roommate conflicts as well, and anyone else you spend enough time with that you’re around each other when you’re not at your best. I’m mostly assuming one on one situations — this can be generalized to larger groups, but with 3 or more people there’s additional dynamics in play and I’m not sure how to comment on that here:)

Yes, and also I think this tends to be harder than a lot of people realize. As in: if just being told you should do that is enough, great. If not...

For those of us who would basically rather die than talk to our parents about our feelings as teens and didn’t have anyone else we could talk to about our feelings to either, it can be really hard to transition into adult relationships of equals and trust that the other person actually cares about our feelings.

For people who have especially extreme or unusual emotional reactions due to mental illness, ADHD, etc, identifying our feelings let alone talking about them can be extra hard.

For many people, figuring out how to say “I’m upset as a result of you doing x” without implying “I think it’s bad that you did x” can be challenging. Especially since a lot of people are primed to automatically hear the first as the second.

This can be even harder if you’re not sure whether you do think that it’s bad that the other person did x or not.

I don’t know what to say about people coming from abusive families, but I’m sure that adds extra layers of difficulty one way or another. Also previous abusive romantic relationships.

Basically we usually learn how to do this stuff by it being modeled to us, and a lot of us didn’t get that modeling. (Or for various reasons, got it modeled but didn’t pick it up. Or our problems and our role models’ problems are different enough that it’s not all that useful.)

Some people find it difficult to form words or say certain kinds of things under stress. This can look like deliberately choosing to stay silent when it’s actually not a choice.

The fight-or-flight stress response makes it harder to use the parts of your brain that control impulses and make rational, thought out decisions. So, knowing what to do when you’re calm and being able to do it when you’re aroused are very different things. Even more so if you’re getting into shut down/dissociation territory. (This is why “take some time apart to calm down” is such common relationship advice.)

Sometimes not only is it hard for B to read A’s feelings, but B might get it wrong. Some people look calm when they’re angry, sound angry when they’re scared, cry when they’re not sad, etc.

Oh, and also some people don’t have close relationships (or healthy close relationships) until relatively late in life, and are making their newbie relationship mistakes much later than most people.

So, what can you do?

Talk about conflicts when you’re not actively in conflict.

Make a plan for how you’re going to deal with intense feelings and/or sustained bad moods ahead of time; know your coping strategies. Let your partner know ahead of time what sorts of things tend to make you feel better or worse.

Look up communication advice (“I feel” statements etc) and either generate some rules of the road together as a couple (/household/polycule/whatever) or make some personal guidelines for yourself. (If you don’t always follow them it happens — this isn’t about whoever messes up first loses the argument, it’s about if you mess up you try to do better next time.)

If you want to keep the relationship, make sure you have a lot more positive interactions than negative ones. Even if there’s big disagreements that need to be talked through, it’s OK to take breaks and have time where you focus on enjoying each other’s company. If you’re in a frame of mind where you can do that.

Likewise, remember to say positive things about your partner etc even when you’re in conflict. “I care about you”, “I want to work through this together”, “thanks for hearing me out”, etc. You do not lose the fight by saying nice things. (Or if you do...maybe your problem isn’t a communication one.)

If either person wants to take a break from a difficult conversation, you take a break.

Think about who else you can talk to about this, or how else you can process the situation. It’s not necessarily a good idea to talk about all your relationship fights with a close family member (or another partner if you’re polyamorous) but often it’s a good idea to talk to someone. So...therapist? Bartender? Hotline volunteer? Random social media “let’s be nice to each other” group? Your dog? Maybe you’d just as soon write in your journal or go for a long walk? Sometimes if you process your feelings first, you end up having a much more constructive talk later on.

Be in process. Learning how to have healthy relationships involves a lot of highly complex and subtle skills. It’s work. It takes time. As with learning to play a musical instrument, you have to do it badly before you can do it well.

What if communication doesn’t help?

Maybe the way you tried it didn’t work or the timing was bad. Give it some time and try again later. (If it’s a big dealbreaker thing or potentially a big dealbreaker thing, get some distance if possible — communication isn’t a substitute for boundaries, and neither is patience or love or forgiveness.)

If there’s a consistent pattern of talking it out not working, or the other person seems to be acting deliberately cruel, this is probably not a good relationship (/living situation) for you. Good communication can’t make another person respect you, it only smooths things over between people who basically like and respect each other.

Couple’s counseling/family counseling is an option in some cases. I recommend only doing this if you basically trust that the other person cares about and respects you and it’s more about getting back to a previously happy relationship than trying to fix a relationship that was broken from the start. In a hostile roommate situation if you can’t move out yet, or if you’re in something that you know is a bad relationship but can’t break up yet, what you want is more boundaries, not better communication. Individual therapy might help with that, but family or couple’s therapy is generally more focused on gaining more closeness and mutual understanding, and less about setting boundaries and getting distance.

Some resources (books unless stated otherwise, authors left out because I’m feeling too lazy to look them all up but I can clarify on request):

Non-violent Communication (the book, but there’s also workshops etc): not everyone’s cup of tea, other people swear by it. It’s set up skills first/explanations second, so I recommend reading the second half first but you do you. If it’s not your thing, that’s OK.

Difficult Conversations

Feeling Good Together: this is a weird ass book, and does not differentiate between healthy relationships and abusive ones, but I’m still recommending it because the “five secrets of effective communication” is actually the communication advice that works best for me in the moment. (The “five secrets” can also be found if you poke around the Feeling Good podcast, which is free.)

Oh, yeah the Feeling Good book and the Feeling Good podcast in general, for people with depression, anxiety, etc. (note: the author/host ...has some very strong opinions, be willing to filter. There’s a ton of practical advice though, so I’m still recommending it.)

The Dance of Anger: short on practical tips, but pretty neat on theory.

Anything about CBT or DBT, or really anything else on emotional management written by therapy people.

I’m especially fond of Taming Your Gremlin on the “learn better coping strategies” front: it’s short, it’s got humor, it’s friendly to people with short attention spans, it does kinda do the “co-opting mindfulness concepts for personal gain” thing but that’s pretty hard to avoid these days, sigh.

Bouncing Back (about resilience and healing from trauma, science based but written for people who aren’t science people)

Burnout (about stress, ditto on the science thing, aimed at women, 10/10 recommend)

The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook (why so much about stress? Because dealing with “stress” is also dealing with fear and anger and hurt and resentment and frustration, that’s why. And because we all know that “stress is bad” and we’re supposed to do something about it, but most people think that means just avoiding stressful situations and WRONG.) (If you just read one, pick Burnout. But, the Workbook has a chapter on anger management so I’m including it for that if nothing else.)

How To ADHD YouTube videos, for people with ADHD and those who love them.

[msjr0119]

The Unexpected Roommate

Part 6

What happens when your roommate of many years falls in love and moves out unexpectedly? Drake Walker was in this situation, until his friends fiancée suggested that her friend moved in to replace her fiancé. The new roommate is causing tension already. Will they be able to survive living together? What’s the worse that could happen?

Book: The Royal Romance

Pairings: Drake x Riley, Leo x Olivia.

*Characters belong to Pixelberry*

Warnings: swearing, sex/foreplay mention, jealousy, mention of death.

Tags: @pedudley @kacie-0156 @loveellamae @annekebbphotography @burnsoslow @ladyangel70 @kingliam2019 @bascmve01 @drakewalker04 @texaskitten30 @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @kimmiedoo5 @nikkis1983 @walker7519 @lodberg @cmestrella @hopefulmoonobject @axwalker @rafasgirl23415 @yukinagato2012 @cordonianroyalty @custaroonie @rainbowsinthestorm @desireepow-1986 @queenjilian @bebepac @drakewalkerisreal @princessleac1

****

“Why do you want to know?” Olivia asked, prior to his unexpected arrival- she had been teasing Riley about seeing Liam. Now she was debating about what to do. Allow him to go to the apartment and most likely see her best friend fucking her arch-enemy? Or to just continue to lie.

“Well I’m in the ‘neighbourhood’, I thought I could catch up with her.”

“Why the flowers? Are you coming back to woo her?”

“No. She never seemed to be interested, but I believe that we are friends. My office has given me the opportunity to move back here.”

“I’ll call her. See what she is doing.” Leo nudged his fiancée, shaking his head. He didn’t want to be in the middle of his best friend and brother fighting over the same girl.

“I thought she didn’t live here anymore?” Pausing, he knew that she was lying in the first place. “It’s fine Liv, I’ll probably see her at the joint bachelor and bachelorette party tomorrow?”

“I hope so! She’s my maid of honour!” Liam arrived back to his home town, returning with a few hidden secrets. Secrets that he felt he could only tell the one woman that talked to him for hours up on end. Riley. The main secret that involved her.

****

The morning after, Riley woke up entangled in Drake’s limbs. They had slept together again, twice in one night to be precise. Even though they had agreed for it to just be casual sex, both of them had grown feelings that neither of them would expose to the other. Sitting up, she decided to sneak away to take a shower.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“I’m taking a shower. Am I allowed to do that?”

“Of course you are. I just thought that we could have a lazy morning before the madness of tonight.”

“Are you usually this clingy with your ‘fuck buddies’?” Her eyebrows rose up, waiting for him to elaborate. He felt as if his heart was about to jump straight out of his chest.

“No.... erm... just with my roomies...”

“Oh so you did this with, Leo?”

“No! I...”

“I’m winding you up, Drake. It was just sex remember.”

That smirk, she’s being sarcastic. I can’t let her think that I want more when she clearly doesn’t want the same. It’s just casual sex, I suggested that after all.

*****

Drake really couldn’t be bothered with Leo’s bachelor party. Leo and Olivia had asked guests to meet them at the bar near to their house- then they would go their separate ways. Instead Drake decided to delay to two of them- the less time they spent at the bachelor and bachelorette party, the more time they could spend together.

“What the fuck? Drake!” Hearing Riley scream, he smirked. You’re not the only one who can pull pranks, darling.

“What’s up?” Walking into her room, he witnessed her covered in flour- the flour that he had placed above her wardrobe. He knew the minute she opened it, she would be a mess.

“You’re a fucking jerk! Why would you do this to me?”

“Why would you do all the pranks that you do? Chill out, Riley.” Pushing her way past him, she was beyond furious. Needing to shower again, they were cutting it fine time wise.

An hour later, Riley appeared in the lounge- scowling at him. I look like shit, whispering to herself. On a night out, she would spend two hours doing her hair, and at least an hour doing her make up.

“Liv is going to kill me! I’m late.”

“Fuck her.”

“It’s not funny Drake! I’m the maid of honour and I can’t even show up on time.” Struggling to clasp the necklace, Drake walked behind her. Offering his assistance.

“You scrub up well.”

“Thanks arsehole.”

“No need to be nasty. I’ll help you.” Kissing her neck, he couldn’t resist in delaying them even longer.

“Drake! Stop fucking about! You know what, forget the necklace. Let’s go!”

“Or we could forget tonight in general?”

“You’ll want to go, there’s a stripper. Come on I’m going to get a slit throat.”

****

Riley kept looking at her watch, panic began to run through her veins. No cabs had stopped for them, as of yet.

“I may as well order my coffin...”

“Stop being so dramatic. You’re drinking in a bar. Not as if you have an appointment.”

“You don’t get it do you? I’m the second most important person of the bridal party and I can’t even show up on time.” Yeah, and? She’s a bridezilla anyway- Drake thought to himself. Finally a cab stopped for them, and they jumped in.

Drake noticed that Olivia was constantly ringing, making things worse they were now in a traffic jam. Placing his hand on to her thigh, he hoped that she would relax a bit. Or maybe it would raise her blood pressure a bit more? He didn’t care, any excuse to be close to her.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“Shhh, just relax...” Turning on to his side, he roamed his hand along her thigh- in a slow motion whilst providing a seductive grin.

“Don’t you dare!”

“Don’t I dare do what? This?” Forcing her pants to the side, he inserted his fingers- immediately feeling how she felt about this unexpected gesture. She could deny it all she wanted, but her body’s reaction told the truth. “So wet for me, again...”

“Drake... please.... stop...”

“Why? Aren’t you enjoying it?”

“You’re a fucking jerk, you know I am! Fuck...” Gripping on to his arm, she wasn’t sure if she could hold it in anymore. Biting her lip, his increased movements made it hard to remain quiet.

“I’m going to cum... FUCKKK!”

“Hey! What’s going off back there.” Drake burst out laughing knowing that they’d been caught with Riley’s facial expression as she came down from her high. “GET OUT NOW! IF I SEE YOU TWO AGAIN, ILL NOT BE SO NICE!” Following the cab drivers commands, Riley wished that she could just rewind to this morning and start the day off again.

“We could just go home?”

“Why the fuck would you do that? We’re going to have to walk and it’s miles away!”

“Worth it though... right? Fuck buddy.” Riley decided to ignore him, setting the sat nav up on her phone it was a twenty minute walk. Whilst trying to figure to out which direction to head towards, a cab sped past them- hitting the puddle that was caused by a burst pipe.

“You have to be fucking kidding me? I hate you right now, Drake!”

“No you don’t.” Kissing her passionately, he believed that there was no need to rush- they was already late.

“I think it’s that way, are you coming or what?”

“I thought it was you was ‘cumming’?” Winking at her, she stormed off refusing to acknowledge his previous comment.

****

Arriving fashionably late, Riley headed straight towards Olivia - feeling guilty that she was late.

“Where the fuck have you been?”

“We couldn’t get a cab. Then there was traffic. Then a massive burst pipe.”

“What down your legs?” Riley looked down onto her skirt, fuck. “He fingered you didn’t he? That’s why you was late!”

“Don’t be fucking stupid! What do you take me for? We had to walk and a cab splashed me.” Not a lie. But fuck. I’ve got a stain.

Leo overheard the raised voices, as did the other men.

“Stop fucking lying Riley! I know exactly why you was late.”

“I’ve told you fucking why! Do you need me to reiterate it?”

“No because it’s a lie. I know the truth and I’m going to vomit!”

“Fuck I’ve never heard them argue like that. Maybe we should get some popcorn?” Leo suggested, whilst laughing.

“I’m sure they can both handle themselves.” Liam knew for a fact that they had these type of arguments in the past. It would be a short time of raised voices, then they would drink and make up.

“Yeah, come on. Let’s sneak out. We have a stripper waiting!” Drake decided to intervene, Leo pulled him back towards them attempting to drag him away.

“What are you doing? Do you really want to enter the battlefield?”

“Yeah just to root for, Riley.” Just to make sure that she is okay.

“I’m sure, Mr Boomtastic. Come on. Stripper time!”

“I’ll be one minute.”

****

The situation had calmed down slightly, there was now a silent argument with Olivia and Riley providing each other with death stares.

“Fuck off Walker, women only.”

“Are you okay, Riley?” Ignoring Olivia, he placed his arm around her waist- looking at her concerned. Deep down, he knew that he was the reason for the two of them having this argument- but also believed that Olivia was acting over dramatically.

“Of course she is. Now do one.”

“I’m fine, Drake. See you later.”

“For round two? Or maybe you could both sneak off to the toilets for quickly?”

“We hate each other Olivia!” Regretting what she said, she felt Drake leave a distance between the two of them. The feelings towards him was quite the opposite, of what she had just expressed.

“Walker?”

“What she said....” Lying, he couldn’t inform the women about his true feelings-instead deciding to change the subject. “Why are you always such a bitch, Olivia?”

“Drake!”

The complexion from his face drained as he heard that distinctive voice.

“Bonjour handsome. Fancy seeing you here.”

“Kiara.” Gritting his teeth, he saw Riley’s face grimace. Of course Kiara would have been there, it had slipped his mind.

“And you are?”

“Um... I’m Riley, Olivia’s maid of honour.”

“You won’t be if you continue letting me down!”

“Oh you’re the infamous, Riley. The roommate from hell. You look so innocent.” Roommate from hell. The fucking mug more like.

“Yeah, that’s me. Excuse me.” Oh great, she turns up late then runs off, tonight is going to be a disaster- Olivia believed, she knew there were many reasons as to why she hated Drake Walker. This was now an added reason- changing her friends attitude.

****

Drake warned Kiara to be nice to people in future, running after Riley- he hoped that she was alright. Risking walking into the women’s restroom he didn’t care.

“What Kiara said....”

“Was the truth? But what I don’t understand is why you would discuss about my life with someone who is a stranger to me. What I do is nobody’s business.”

“You pissed me off when you first arrived, okay. You are a living hell, but you’re...” my living hell. “Nevermind. She asked if I needed another roommate after Leo left.”

“All you had to say was yes, remember I’m not there long term! My business is nothing to do with her- or anyone for that matter.”

Topping her lipstick and mascara up, Drake snuggled into her, knowing that he was slightly in the wrong. “Get your hands off of me. I just need time to think.”

“Riley. Please.”

“No, Drake! I would never talk about you to someone who you never knew. Especially not to an ex or a fuck buddy.”

“So that’s what’s pissing you off. Because you’ve met a sort of ex. Are you jealous?”

“Don’t patronise me! You demanded just casual sex, I gave you that. Have you told her about that too? Told her what position I like? Told her what turns me on the most? Told her how many times I cum?”

“What if I have?” Narrowing her eyes towards him, she didn’t want an elaboration on that. The sooner tonight was over, the better. “Goodbye, Drake.”

****

Drake eventually made his way to join the men, feeling guilty for upsetting Riley. At the time he didn’t see the issue, with him explaining to his colleague/his ex/his fuck buddy about his new roommate. In a gaze, he wasn’t aware of the stripper stood right in front of them butt naked grinding on Leo. Standing in the back of the room, he sipped a whiskey- and another. Liam was close by doing the same actions.

“Have you seen the jugs on her?” Leo licked his lips as his said this, hoping to turn Drakes frown upset down.

“No. I’m not bothered. Liam doesn’t seem that bothered either.”

“What is up with you two? It’s like being in a morgue! Come on! It’s my bachelor party!”

“Ya know what Leo, I’m going to head home.”

“Walker! You have to be kidding me? Is this some kind of joke?”

“No.. I’m not feeling too good. Besides I think you can survive without me being here.” Referring to the stripper, Leo rolled his eyes back now knowing that Drake was actually ditching him.

“Your loss, Walker!” Drake shrugged his shoulders as he left, feeling slightly guilty about leaving Liam playing gooseberry. They are Rys’s they’ll work their charm all night, he thought in the back of his mind. Whenever he went out with Leo in the past, he was always left alone and he could predict the same would happen tonight if he had stayed.

****

Sneaking back into the apartment, the light was on- so he knew that Riley was back. Prematurely, he believed. Olivia was a night owl and he assumed Riley would be the same as she worked in a bar. Clearly not tonight. Gulping, he was unsure as to what to do. Check in on her or go to sleep? Helping himself to a whiskey, he had the Dutch courage to speak to her- if she would allow him to.

“Riley?”

“What?”

“Can I come in?”

“No. I’m trying to get to sleep. Goodnight.” Ignoring what she had said, he decided to interrupt her privacy and walk straight into her room.

“I believe that your room is next door.”

“I’m just making sure that you’re okay. Stop being so fucking stubborn.” Thinking back to her experience of the night, maybe she was being stubborn. Maybe not.

“I’m fine, Drake. You can go to bed.”

“You don’t seem it.” Sneaking under the duvet, he laid next to her. “Tell me what’s on your mind. Did you have a good night?”

“Drake’s good in bed isn’t he, Riley?” Riley nearly chocked on the champagne, due to Kiara’s random comment.

“I’ve had better.” Snapping back, if truth be told she knew that she was lying to herself.

“How many times have you slept with him?” Why does she care? This is a bachelorette party. Not the Kiara show. Or discussing Drake Walker’s cock as if we are on Loose Women.

“One.” Lying she couldn’t be bothered disclosing information about her sex life. Tonight was about Olivia.

“Yeah and we heard you!” No you didn’t, you heard the fake sex! I just wish that everyone would just shut up.

“Can we just change the subject? Tonight is your night, Liv.” Raising the champagne flute into the air, Riley hoped that this would be the end of it after her brief speech. Or so she believed. Whilst everybody else was engaged in conversation, Kiara sat next to her. Feeling suffocated with her presence, Riley had wished that she had gatecrashed the bachelor party instead.

“Looks like I’ve got competition, we will have to have Drake on a rota.” Winking towards Riley, she wasn’t sure if the woman was joking or not.

“I’m nobody’s second best, Kiara. It was a one time thing.” Attempting to convince herself that she didn’t care, deep down she was hurt. It was as if Kiara was stabbing a knife right into her heart. Herself and Drake wasn’t a couple, at times they weren’t even friends. But now the more time they spent together, there was growing feelings.

“So if I came to yours and fucked him senseless, you wouldn’t mind?”

“No, why would I? We are just roommates. He’s already brought a stranger back with him.”

“Maybe we should get to know each other better, Riley. I’ll be seeing you more often most likely.” Kiara stood up, and kissed her on the cheek before making her way over towards the bar. Riley sipped the champagne slowly, retrieving her phone out of her clutch bag- she sent an urgent text.

SOS!!! Please give me a good excuse to get out of this bachelorette party xo

Thinking of ways to get out of it, without Olivia potentially murdering her- she was relieved when her phone lit up.

Ri, you and I both know that’s not possible- she will kill you. It can’t be that bad? Xx

It is, I’ll explain at work tomorrow. I might suddenly have a sickness bug brewing! 🤢 xo

You’ll survive! Just tell them to fuck off! Looking forward to hearing about it tomorrow😂... see you at half five. Love ya loads xx

“Besides the awkwardness, yes. You know Olivia, everything has to be perfect- The champagne was flowing. What about you?”

“Awkwardness? You mean, Kiara. It was pretty boring, Leo took full advantage of the stripper.”

“Yes, Kiara. I’m actually surprised that Olivia allowed him to have a stripper. He will be playing it down.” Drake silently agreed, having a little laugh to himself- grateful that he wasn’t in Leo’s shoes.

“What is your relationship with Kiara? Is it just casual sex like us? She suggested that we have you on a rota. Share you. I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

“Look at me. Please.” Turning around, she couldn’t look him in the eyes- she didn’t want to mimic a waterfall. “I might sound like a jerk, like I use women for sex then dump them until I need to release again. But I’m single. I didn’t see the issue of doing that until now. Kiara works with me. We know each other, she’s always liked me more than a colleague. More than a friend. The feelings aren’t mutual. She was happy just having sex every so often.” Taking a deep breath, he knew that this was the perfect opportunity to tell her the truth about how he felt about her. But he couldn’t. He already felt as if he had blown any chance of being with her with how upset she was. “ I meant what I said, the first time we slept together was amazing. You’re amazing when you aren’t playing practical jokes. At this moment in time, you’re my best friend as well as my roommate. Ignore Kiara, she’s winding you up- to get to you, but she’s a really nice girl once you get to know her. For me she’s just not girlfriend material.”

“Okay.” With Riley’s one worded response after he word vomited, he decided it was best to leave. He could already tell that she was deep in concentration as her eyebrows furrowed.

“Goodnight, Riley. I hope that we are okay?”

“Sure we are, we’re just roommates.”

****

The morning after Drake knew that Riley was upset, he knew that he didn’t want to see her like that. He had grown fond of her, even began to start loving her after their time together. Thinking about everything regarding their talk, he tried to put himself in her situation. Believing that he would also have doubts, possibly feel jealous- it was time to make amends. Again. Leaving the apartment at noon, he decided to go for a bit of retail therapy- feeling the need to treat Riley, to make her not feel like second best.

****

Eventually waking up late in the day, it wasn’t because she was hungover or tired. Riley had spent hours, just thinking about her life. Wondering where it was leading to. During this time, she had heard Drake leave the apartment twice. Knowing that she hadn’t heard him return, she took the opportunity to get up and make something to eat.

As she walked into the lounge, her eyes widened.

Hey, sleepyhead. I really don’t want things to be awkward between us. I’m sorry. I’ve gone to the gym, when I get back I was hoping that you’d be awake and that you’ll join me for dinner later on. Not as a date, just as two friends- two roommates, having some food together.

Peering into the bags, her jaw went wide. Seeing a Chanel dress and bracelet along with the flowers and chocolate on the table- she felt the need to throttle him. Not because she was ungrateful, but just for the simple fact that he didn’t need to do this. He didn’t need to spend a fortune on her every time she became upset. Wondering if he treat any other woman this way, she wasn’t sure what to think. Hearing the door opening, she regretted looking like shit. The need to jump into his arms and thank him was there lingering in her mind. Drake nervously opened the door, not knowing if she had de-fused herself from her bed- not knowing how she would react.

“Hi.” She whispered, acknowledging his presence. Oh fuck why is she crying?

“Hey, are you okay?” Running the short distance towards him, she leapt into his arms forcing his duffel bag to fall off his shoulders and on to the floor. Inhaling the sweat surrounding him she didn’t care.

“Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me. You deserve it.” Holding on to her tight, he didn’t want to let her go.

“You could have just bought me some wine, or a big fat greasy takeaway. I’m easily pleased. So, thank you.”

“Now you tell me.” They both laughed whilst still holding on to each other. “I need to shower, I stink. Get ready and we’ll go out.” Removing herself from his embrace, he picked up his bag and placed his clothes into the washing machine.

“Drake... I’m actually due at work soon. I changed my shift last week, I’m sorry.”

“Oh, I didn’t know. Maybe another time then?”

“Yeah, sure.” Turning around, secretly she did a celebratory jig- hoping that he wasn’t aware of this.

“Or I could come with you? Then we could go out afterwards?”

“Works really boring... I’m not sure you’d wanna hang out there for hours. I could meet you when I’ve finished instead?”

“You work in a bar. As long as there’s whiskey, I’ll be fine.” As long as I’m with you, it’ll be worth it.

[inagetawaycarxo]

Darling, Dearest, Dead | Mob!Tom Holland

— can you do an imagine where mob!tom breaks up with the reader and kicks her out after a fight because he thinks she’s cheating but a few weeks later she gets tracked down by toms rival gang and she goes to tom for help but he doesn’t help her and the gang hurts her and she ends up having a miscarriage because she was pregnant with toms baby - Anon

✧ Pairing: Mob!Tom Holland x Reader, Mob!Harrison Osterfield x Reader {STIRCTLY PLATONIC}

✧ Featuring: Harrison Osterfield, rival gang members, F/n.

✧ Summary: sometimes keeping secrets does more harm than good.

✧ WARNINGS: everyone is so god damn shady in this fic, don’t tell lies, angst, miscarriage, blood, violence, mob related themes/stuff, swearing, jumping to conclusions, hospitals, EVERYONE IS LYING IN THIS FIC, death, nudity, drugs/ drug use, cheating (mentioned), alcohol, kidnapping, Tom is a real douchebag in this and a div, ex’s, f/n is anti Tom, and just anti mob life in general, there’s no fluff here, everyone just loves to interrupt.

✧Word Count: 14.3k + alot of words {I did edit this, but I apologise in advance if there are any errors I missed}

✧ A/n: Italics are thoughts. r/g/n= rival gang name, f/n= friends name, h/n= hospital name… requests are open!!! Want to be added to the tag list just message me! Also, angst August?? I think hell yeah…

Tag squad: @kisses-holland

Tom let out a groan as he rubbed the palm of his hand down his face, trudging up the stairs that lead to yours and his shared bedroom suite, his eyelids heavy with sleep. All he wanted to do was go to bed and cuddle you.

Tom finally reached the door, his hand was just about to grab the doorknob when he heard your voice speak through the door, making Tom’s hand hover above the doorknob.

“You can’t tell him.” You whimpered, making Tom’s hand fall to his side, and his eyebrows furrowed, he pressed his ear against the door so he could hear better.He felt awful about doing this but, who the fuck are you talking to? and what the fuck are you talking about? He thought. His heart hammering hard against his rib cage.

“You have to tell him.” Harrison growled, clearly annoyed that you would hide this from Tom, he looked up from the piece of paper that held your pregnancy test results, while Tom’s eyes widen in shock.

What was Harrison doing in yours and his bedroom? And what couldn’t you tell him? What are you hiding from him? Tom thought. As he started to list the worst possible scenarios of what you could be hiding from him. Illness, pregnancy, betrayal, maybe you were being threatened, or maybe you were cheating…

“I cant.” You replied, your voice was barely above a whisper. Harrison gave you an infuriated look. His fingers slightly crinkling the paper.

“Why can’t you, y/n? Please enlighten me on why you can’t tell him. Why you insist on keeping this a secret from him? Because clearly, you aren’t thinking straight if you want to hide this from him.” Harrison snapped, crossing his arms over his chest, his hard gaze staring at you intently, waiting for your response.

Meanwhile, Tom leaned his body weight against the door, waiting for your response. His eyebrows furrowed, as anxiety started to set in.

“Because it will change everything.” You snapped, Harrison hard gaze soften.

However, Tom, on the other hand, was beyond livid, balling his fists, while his jaw clenched. The vein in his neck pulsing fast. His eyes narrowed, his nostrils flaring. As his mind started to go into overdrive.

Oh my god, she’s cheating on me. That explains why she’s been so distant lately and jumpy, why she rejects my sexual advances. Tom thought.

Tom was too caught in his thoughts and accusations to hear what you said next.

“I don’t even know if he wants a baby, then there’s the issue of him being a mob boss, and-, I just, I’m scared Haz, what if, he makes me get an abortion or leaves me or kills me.” You mumbled, looking down at your lap, as you played with your fingers, avoiding Harrison’s gaze, as tears started to form in your eyes, you quickly wiped them away.

“Y/n-” Harrison started to say only to get cut off by the door being flung open.

The door banged against the wall, making you and Harrison jump, your eyes widen in shock, while Harrison quickly took out his gun, turning around to see who it is, his gun aiming at the figure, he relaxed when he saw Tom, putting his gun away, but gave Tom a questionable look.

“Tom-” Harrison started to say, only for Tom to interrupt him rather rudely.

“Save it, Harrison, leave.” Tom hissed, his eyes never leaving your figure, his gaze was cold.

Harrison’s eyes widen in shock, as he looked from Tom to you, then back at Tom, Harrison gulped, before turning his attention back to you he gave you a reassuring smile, meant to encourage you to tell Tom the truth, but you couldn’t, the look Tom was giving you looked murderous. It made you tremble with fear.

Harrison left the room reluctantly, the piece of paper still clutched in his hand, Tom took a step forward, taking slow intimidating steps towards you.

“Tom.” You whimpered, as he stood towering in front of you, glaring at you.

“I know what you did, I know you cheated on me, I mean it explains everything, why you won’t even let me have sex with you, why you’ve been so distant lately, you are cheating.” Tom accused, you looked up at him in confusion, your eyebrows furrowing, which seemed to make him even more furious.

You tried to speak, but no words were coming out, you were shocked, plus the fact that Tom didn’t even let you say a word.

“I don’t want to hear it y/n, I gave you everything, my love, my affection, my time, gifts, money, protection, a roof to live under, and this is how you treat me.” Tom snapped.

“Was my love not enough for you, that you had to whore yourself off to some other man.” Tom shouted, making you wince.

“Tom-” you whimpered out, only for him to cut you off.

“I trusted you, I thought you loved me, but that was just a lie, wasn’t it? You made me fall hard for you, you played me for a fool, and I just, I can’t believe you would do this to me, what’s even worse is that you brought my best friend into this to hide it. That disgusts me, you disgust me, I really wish that I was what you wanted, but apparently, I’m not.” Tom growled tears fell from your eyes, as Tom looked down at you with disgust.

You tried to speak again, but once again Tom cut you off.

“We are over, get out of my house, I never want to see you again.” He growled, turning around, but your hand wrapped around his wrist, Tom suddenly spun around, making you jump a bit, glaring at you, as his jaw clenched.

“Please Tom.” You pleaded, tears blurring your vision.

Tom snatched his wrist away from your grasp, making you flinch.

“You fucked this up not me.” He growled, turning around and storming out of the bedroom.

You let out a choked sob, putting your face into your hands as you cried, you just lost the one person who meant everything to you in the entire world, all because you were afraid to tell him you were pregnant.

Your hands fell from your face, as you took in the bedroom one last time, your breathing was shaky, as you got up slowly, taking slow steps towards the walk-in robe, your hand shakily opened the door to it. Your pace was slow as you walked into it, you tried to take another step, but you ended up falling to the ground, sobs racked your whole body. You really did fuck up your relationship with Tom.

You didn’t notice that someone else entered the walk-in robe until you felt someone wrap their arms around you, pulling you close to their chest.

“Sh, it’s okay.” Harrison cooed, rubbing soothing circles on your back, trying his best to calm you down, but it didn’t seem to work.

“He broke up with me.” You cried, making Harrison furrow his eyebrows. He definitely wasn’t expecting Tom to break up with you because you told him you were pregnant, maybe a lecture about using protection and taking the pill and how to use it, but definitely not a breakup, he was a little disappointed in Tom at the moment.

“Did you tell him? Because if that’s the reason why he broke up with you then I’m going to beat his ass.” Harrison grumbled.

“N-no, he, t-thought, I-I c-cheated on h-him.” You stuttered out, making Harrison pull away from you slightly, he gave a sympathetic look.

“Y/n, go find him right now and tell that you never cheated on him.” Harrison demanded.

“What’s the point he doesn’t trust me, he’ll probably think it’s the other dudes’ baby, if you don’t trust the person you love, then really there wasn’t any love there, to begin with.” You mumbled, looking down at the plush carpet.

“Y/n-” Harrison started to say, only for you to interrupt him. You looked up at him, as tears escaped your eyes, making their way down your cheeks.

“I’m going to leave before  he hurts me, you should go be with him, he needs you.” You spoke, getting up shakily. Harrison followed queue.

“Least let me pack your suitcase, and take it down the stairs for you, you honestly look like your about to pass out or something.” Harrison offered, you nodded your head, while Harrison gave you a half-smile, moving away from you and grabbing the suitcase, he started to grab the minor essentials putting them in the suitcase, all the while you numbly wandered out to the bedroom, your eyes caught sight of the large photo of you and Tom, your heart felt like it dropped into your stomach, as more tears come falling out of your eyes. You and Tom were so happy back then.

“All packed, I’ll find you an apartment and drop the rest of your stuff there.” Harrison spoke, breaking you out of your thoughts. You turned to look at him. He gave you a sympathetic look, noticing that you were staring at the photo of you and Tom.

“I should leave, thank you.” You spoke, grabbing the suitcase handle from him and walking off, but Harrison quickly followed you, his hand wrapped around your wrist and spun you around towards him, making you feel sick, Harrison gaze softened as he noticed the distressed look on your face.

“For what’s it is worth Tom truly did love you.” Harrison spoke softly, he thought it would comfort you, but it really didn’t, it only made it worse.

“Just not enough to trust me.” You sobbed, turning around and walking away from him, Harrison watched you with a sad expression, though it turned into anger as he remembered Tom, he was going to give him a piece of his mind.

Harrison quickly stormed towards Tom’s office, opening the door rather roughly.

Tom’s head snapped up, his grip on the glass of whiskey tightening. It was meant to help him forget about you, but clearly, it wasn’t working.

“What the hell Tom?” Harrison shouted, storming into Tom’s office.

“I got rid of a cheater.” Tom replied, calmly, as he took a sip of the drink.

“Are you out of your mind? She never cheated on you, and it’s pretty rich coming from you since you cheated all the time on your ex-partners.” Harrison snapped, making Tom suddenly stand up abruptly, he gave Harrison a cold hard glare, though Harrison gave Tom a cold hard glare too.

“How do you know? She’s been distant, hasn’t let me fuck her in weeks, and then she’s all shady telling you not to tell me.” Tom snapped, ignoring Harrisons last comment, he grabbed the glass of whiskey and brought it up to his lips.

“If she was cheating on you then I would have killed her, all I know is that she loves you and she would never hurt you like that, just go talk to her, she’s a mess.” Harrison replied.

“And all I know is that she’s a lying cheating bitch and I’m glad she’s out of my life, she was dragging me down anyways, and good, I don’t care.” Tom growled. Lies, he did care, maybe he got it wrong, but maybe he got it right and you did cheat on him. I mean you have been acting kind of shady towards him lately, so, that could only mean one thing well two things, betrayal, and cheating, though he did think you cheating was betrayal as well.

“You’re a real ass.” Harrison spat out, turning around and walking away from Tom before he would punch his best friend/boss in the face.

“Why don’t you think of where your loyalty lies with me or her?” Tom snapped.

Harrison shook his head in disgust before storming out of the room.

“Dick.” Tom muttered, bringing the glass back to his lips and downing the rest. The glass slammed against the wooden desk hard, while his grip tightened on the glass.

“I need something stronger.” Tom grumbled to himself, turning around and walking over to where he kept his liquor, he grabbed the bottle of rum, opening the cap, instead of grabbing another cup he just drank from the bottle. Though he knew it wouldn’t get you out of his mind, no hard liquor would, maybe drugs would, he opened the cupboard door taking out a bag of cocaine, then poured three lines onto the table, he leaned down, then snorted it, all the memories of you started to slip away…

・。・゜☆・。・。☆・゜・。・゜。・。・゜☆・。・。 MEANWHILE

Your fist knocked softly against your friend’s door. You pulled it away from the door, dropping your hand to your side, as you waited for the door to open.

“Y/n.” f/n greeted cheerfully, her smile dropped into a frown as she saw the rims of your eyes red, as tears started to well up in your eyes, your eyes were bloodshot, and your lip started to tremble.

“Can I stay here for a while?” you asked, shakily.

“Sure, your welcome to stay here as long as you want, may I ask why though?” she asked, as she gestured for you to come inside which you did, she shut the door behind you. As you turned around to face her.

“Me and um, Tom, we broke up, for good.” You choked out, she gave you a sad look as you started to full-on sob now.

“Oh, babe.” She sighed, pulling you into a hug, you hide your face into the crook of her neck, as violent sobs racked your body, f/n’s hand rubbed soothing circles on your back with her fingers.

“It’s okay, you’re okay.” She cooed, not that it helped.

“He t-thought I was c-cheating on him, but I wasn’t I was pregnant, I-I just, I couldn’t tell him.” You sobbed out.

“Oh, y/n, sh, hey, maybe this is a good thing, the breakup, and him mistaking that you cheated on him.” She stated. You pulled away from her giving her a confused look.

She let out a sigh, as your confused look turned into a look of utter disbelief.

“I should leave, I knew coming here was a mistake, that you’d be so, bitchy.” You muttered you tried to walk past her, but she grabbed your forearm rather tightly stopping you. You let out a whimper, as her gaze hardened.

“This means you’re out of his life, I don’t mean to sound harsh, but I’m kind of relieved you and Tom are over, you have no idea how worried I get that one day I’m going to get a phone call or see on the news that you died, all because of that douchebag boyfriend of yours, you deserve better.” She snapped.

“But I love him, I’ll always will.” You whimpered, making your friend roll her eyes, she honestly didn’t understand what made you fall in love with Tom. To her he was vile, and the devil.

“If he truly loved you, he would have fought harder for you, he wouldn’t have let you go, no matter how hard the situation is. He is probably fucking some other girl now, he’ll move on, while you just wallow trying to pick up the pieces. He is not worth your tears and heartache y/n, take this as a positive thing, you are free from this toxic life, from Tom, from the mob, and so is that baby, I’m going to run you a bath, and then we are going to take this day by day, remember he isn’t worth your tears.” She ranted.

She wiped the fallen tears away, before releasing her grip from your forearm, she turned around and walked off towards the bathroom, leaving you in the hallway, as more tears fell from your eyes.

But you didn’t want better, you wanted Tom.

・。・゜☆・。・。☆・゜・。・゜。・。・゜☆・。・。 A FEW WEEKS LATER

To say it was a struggle moving on from Tom was an understatement, two weeks and you were an utter complete mess. Isolating yourself in your room from the world, everything reminded you of him, and f/n was sick of it, she kept telling you “He isn’t worth your tears.” And your least favourite line, the one that broke your heart was “He is probably fucking some whore right now, I wouldn’t be surprised if he has moved on already found himself another ride or die, bitch, while you just wallow, move on y/n, you deserve better.”

She really wasn’t helping you move on at all, she was making it worse. To the point, you were spiralling into a depression…

Tom wasn’t doing so well either, he was an utter complete mess as well. Sure he might not have looked it on the outside, but on the inside, it was an entirely different story, nothing could ever fill the void you left, nothing could get rid of this heartache he felt, the loneliness he felt, sure he slept with a lot of woman to try and fill it but they never did the trick, they were fun in the moment, but after woods, the loneliness crept back in, coming back worse and almost felt like he was suffocating. Alcohol and drugs didn’t work either, well maybe in the moment they did, not even torturing those who didn’t pay up or betrayed him take you off his mind, nothing could compare to you, and the feelings you gave him, you were one drug that he couldn’t come clean from, no matter how hard he tried, you always seemed to pop up in his mind…

F/n stormed into your room, well the guest bedroom, holding a piece of paper in her hand, probably an application. The look on her face made you wince. You looked at her with wide eyes, gulping.

“I found a job for you, it’s a waitressing gig, the café in town, I think it will be perfect for you.” She spoke, her other hand on her hip.

“Thanks, but I’m not ready to go out into the world yet.” You mumbled, averting your gaze back to your phone screen.

You heard f/n let out a frustrated huff, she was probably rubbing her hand down her face.

“Oh, you are so ready, to go out into the world again, it’s been two weeks, stop letting him ruin your life, and take it back, don’t let him have the satisfaction of seeing you weak and miserable.” f/n hissed, making you shift uncomfortably on your bed.

“I’m not, I’m just having me time, that’s all.” You denied, clearly, it was a lie, and f/n could see straight through it.

“So, your ‘me time’ is mopping about in your room, crying, while eating junk food for two weeks.” f/n spoke, sarcasm evident in her tone, rolling her eyes when she finished talking.

“Yeah, and I don’t always you cry.” You muttered, making f/n roll her eyes.

“It’s time to get your life together, stop crying for a boy that clearly doesn’t deserve you, you have a baby growing inside your womb, you’re not only putting your health at risk, but you are putting your baby at risk as well, for Christ shakes you haven’t even scheduled a prenatal appointment to see your doctor.” She grumbled.

"I'm not even a month pregnant yet, I'm only like six weeks pregnant." you stated, giving her a duh look. F/n stared at you for a second before speaking.

"God, you really are reckless, that's when you need to go schedule an appointment, you are already a month pregnant,y/n, four weeks is a month, your way past four weeks, you need to look after yourself and the baby, get out in the world again, move on." f/n snapped, giving you a disapproving look.

“Fine, I’ll go drop this off, and schedule an appointment, if it will get you off my back.” You muttered, as your hand shot up to her, motioning for her to hand over the application, which she gracefully gave you.

“Good, you have to fill it out first, and once you’ve done that have a god damn shower and look presentable, you look like a fucking crackhead, oh and after you finished call your doctor for a prenatal appointment.” She ordered, making you roll your eyes, as you locked your phone, putting it down on the bed, you got up, walking over to the corner desk, and sitting down, as she continued to talk.

“And I’m coming with you, so I’ll know you haven’t skipped it.” She spoke.

“Yes, mom.” You grumbled, as you started to fill out the application form.

F/n rolled her eyes, before turning around and walking out of the room.

A minute later you finished filling out the form. You let out a sigh, running your fingers through your hair.

“Alright time for a shower now.” f/n voice spoke from behind you, making you jump in fright. You turned around to face her, your hand clutching your chest as your heart beat faster.

“Sorry, now get up and go shower.” f/n ordered, basically pulling you out of the chair.

“Jeez, okay, calm down, no need to be so bossy.” You muttered, making your way out of the room.

“I’m just trying to help you out.” She called out, as you opened the bathroom door, walking into the room, as soon as the door shut, you pressed your back against the door, letting out a shaky breathe, your heart rate started to speed up.

“You can do this, time to move on.” You told yourself, trying to reassure yourself. Your eyes fluttered closed trying to calm your nerves down, breathing in and out.

“We are going to get through this little one, it’s just you and me.” You muttered, your eyes fluttering open again, your hand rested on your stomach, as your eyes cast down towards your hand where it rested.

Your heart rate came back to normal, making you let out a relieved sigh.

“I got this.” You muttered.

Your hand fell from your stomach to the hem of your jumper, your other hand doing the same, scrunching it up, and pulling it over your head and discarding it to the ground, repeating the same action with your t-shirt. Your fingers fumbled to undo the button on your jeans, once you unbuttoned it, you unzipped the zip, pulling the jeans down, and stepping out of them, you then proceeded to hook your fingers under the waistband of your undies, pulling them down, stepping out of them once they drop to your ankles. You then unhooked your bra, taking it off and discarding it to the floor, you then proceeded to make your way towards the shower, your hand grabbed the handle of the slider door pulling it back, you hopped into the shower, turning on the hot water, scrunching your face up a bit when the hot water hit your body, you then turned on the cold water, letting out a content sigh, as the water turned warm. your eyes fluttering closed as the warm water continued to hit your body, your hand reached out for the soap, grabbing it in your hand, you then started to wash yourself…

About ten minutes later you turned the water off, opening the sliding door and stepping out of the shower, immediately the cold air hit your skin making you shiver, you quickly grabbed the towel, drying yourself off, then wrapping it around your body, then tucking it so it wouldn’t fall off. You made your way over to the vanity sink, the mirror was all fogged up, making you let out a huff, wiping the fog away with the palm of your hand.

Your hand fell to your side once the fog was cleared off, you let out a sigh as you stared at your reflection in the mirror, your eyes were bloodshot, and there were dark circles underneath your eyes, you honestly looked like you hadn’t slept in weeks, which was slightly true, you did sleep, though they were mostly just 30 minute naps sometimes you’d sleep for an hour if you are lucky. He always seemed to pop up in your dreams turning them into nightmares, which made you wake up with a gasp, drenched in sweat.

You let out another sigh, shaking your head to snap out of it. You grabbed your toothbrush, turning the faucet on, putting the toothbrush underneath the running water, wetting it a bit then pulling it back, grabbing the toothpaste and opening the lid, you carefully put some toothpaste onto the brush, closing the lid once you were done.

Just as you started brushing your teeth, f/n barged into the room, making you jump in fright.

“Jezz, knock first.” You grumbled, continuing to brush your teeth.

“It’s not like you were naked or anything, besides you, got a towel wrapped around your body.” She defended herself, making you raise one eyebrow at her through the mirror as she stood behind you.

“That’s beside the point, I organized your outfit you’re going to wear.” She spoke, over excitedly, just as you finished brushing your teeth, you spat the toothpaste out cupping some water in the palm of your hand the sipping it  then quickly spat it out.

“I don’t think the manager would care about how good my outfit looks.” You spoke, making f/n roll her eyes, you started to clean your tongue while she spoke.

“It never hurts to look stylish for a job interview, it shows you have good representation and have good hygiene.” F/n she spoke, as you finished cleaning your tongue, you looked up, looking at her in the mirror giving her a questionable look.

“I’m just dropping an application off f/n, it’s not like they are going to hire me on the spot, also they hire on skills and experience not looks.” You spoke, looking back down as you cleaned your brush.

“Why wouldn’t they? you would look cute in an apron, besides you’ve been a waitress before, so they will hire you, I have a feeling today is going to turn out great for you, new beginnings.” She babbled, as you turned off the faucet, putting the toothbrush back in the toothbrush holder, you turned around to face her, giving her a soft smile.

“I hope so, well, I’m going to go get dressed then I’ll be on my way, then once I’m done, I will make that prenatal appointment.” You spoke, walking past her.

“I love you.” She shouted, turning around, just as you walked out of the bathroom.

“Yeah, love you too.” You shouted, going into your room.

You rolled your eyes as you saw the outfit she picked. A white blouse and denim jeans.

You quickly went over to the dresser grabbing a pair of undies and a bra, dropping the towel, it landed on the ground, you quickly put on the lingerie, then put on the jeans then the blouse. After you got dressed you put on your converse sneakers, then went over to the corner desk in the room, grabbing the application, you then grabbed your phone from the bed then walked out of the room.

“I’m leaving, I’ll see you when I get back.” You yelled, opening the front door.

“Good luck, not that you need it, you are totally going to get the job.” She yelled, as you just let out a chuckle, walking out of the door, you shut it behind you letting out a heavy sigh, you closed your eyes for a second then opened them.

“I can do this.” You reassured yourself, you then made your way to the café…

Your hand gripped the door handle, sucking in a breath.

“Here goes nothing.” You muttered to yourself, as you opened the glass door, the doorbell chiming.

“Hi, what can I get for you today?” a woman’s voice asked, as she noticed you enter her café.

“Um, I’m actually here to drop off a job application.” You spoke nervously, scratching the nape of your neck.

“Oh, right, thank you, your actually the first one to drop one off.” She spoke, smiling kindly at you as you handed her the application, the woman’s eyes scanned the document, smiling every now and then.

You felt nerves bundling up in your stomach making you feel slightly nervous, god you hoped you didn’t puke, that would be so embarrassing. Stop stressing y/n, it’s not good for the baby. You silently scolded yourself in your mind.

“You’re hired.” she exclaimed, making you snap out of your thoughts.

“W-what? I mean thank you.” You squeaked out, making the woman chuckle.

“We’ll do a trial run first for a week, see how that goes, then if all goes well, I will hire you full time, plus you were the first one, and I admire that.” She spoke, smiling at you as she grabbed something from underneath the counter, which made you slightly jump back, she furrowed her eyebrows at your reaction.

“Relax, it’s just an apron.” She reassured you, showing you the apron in her hand, she handed it over to you, which you took.

Just as you put it on the doorbell chimed.

“Want to take their order for me?” she asked, handing you a notepad and pen, which you gracefully took from her.

“Yeah.” You replied, turning around, to face whoever it was that entered, your eyes widen in realization as saw a group of men five, and a woman, you gulped, the feeling of nausea washing over you, it was Tom’s rival gang.

Breathing heavily, as you walked closer to the table they occupied.

“Hi, ladies and gents, what can I get for you today?” you asked, trying to keep calm, but you were anything but calm. Especially when they turned their attention to look at you, your heart was beating faster.

“Hello, sweet cheeks.” A deep soothing voice spoke, his blue eyes looking at you intently, while the blonde woman that was cuddling into his side glared at you.

“Well if it isn’t Tom Hollands bitch, well ex bitch.” Another male voice spoke, all of them chuckling except for the one that spoke to you first, staring you down, it made you slightly uncomfortable.

“You know he still harbors feelings for you, you did a number on him, and that makes you his weakness, which means your leverage.” The guy with the blue eyes spoke, his tongue darting out of his mouth, wetting his bottom lip.

You gulped as he stood up, taking a strand of your hair and twirling it around his finger, he leaned closer to you, which made you tremble in fear, your hand instantly went to your small bump, while the other one dropped the pad and pen to the ground.

The rest of the gang stood up as well, giving you sinister looks.

“I can see why he is still hung up on you, maybe we can make a sex tape and send it to him, hm, that would make him crumble.” The guy with the blue eyes smirked, his hot breath fanning your face. You gulped as tears started to form in your eyes.

The owner of the café shop saw the interaction and immediately made her way over towards you and the gang.

“Leave, all of you now, before I call the cops.” She growled, wow brave of her, the cops weren’t going to do a god damn thing, half of them were corrupt anyways. You thought.

The guy with the blue eyes, smirked at you, letting out a dark chuckle, before turning towards the café owner, smirking at her.

“Cops in this town won’t do a god damn thing, but since you asked so nicely, we’ll leave.” He sarcastically spoke, but he turned his attention back to you making you whimper, he grabbed your wrist, wrapping his fingers in a vice-like grip, his nails digging into your skin, which made you let out a whimper.

“Watch your back sweet cheeks, just cause you and Tom are done, doesn’t mean you are entirely useless.” He growled, letting go of your wrist, he turned his attention to his gang, signalling them to leave this joint.

He turned around to look at the café owner. Giving her a sinister look.

“Lovely place you got here, be a shame if something bad happened to it.” He growled, he then proceeded to walk away from her, then out the door the rest of the gang following all the while giving you and the café owner sinister looks.

She turned her attention towards you.

“Are you okay?” she asked, concern clouding her eyes.

“I’m fine.” You lied, you weren’t you were still shaken up. All you wanted to do was go back to f/n’s house and hide.

“I don’t think you are, you should go home, get some rest, I’ll see you tomorrow y/n, please go to the cops.” She ordered. You nodded your head, as you shakily took the apron off, handing it to her.

She gave you a reassuring smile as you walked towards the door. You didn’t feel safe anymore, you felt like you were being watched.

You couldn’t go to the cops, because what would they do, not a god damn thing, half of them probably are in Tom’s rival gang, and the other half well they wouldn’t touch gang-related cases with a ten-foot pole. Maybe the FBI would help, but they’d lock you up in jail after woods, or just in general. The only person who could help you was Tom, and even if you did ask, the answer would be a no, as well as a long ass tirade from him, maybe he’d even kill you, you weren’t his problem anymore, but it was worth a try, it was worth a shot for yours and his unborn baby’s life, and if it comes down to it and you ran out of options on persuading him, maybe you could blackmail him with the truth, the truth being you were pregnant with his child all along and you never cheated on him, even if you did, he wouldn’t believe you, unless you got a paternity test, but still, it was worth a try…

You nervously walked to Tom’s mansion, looking over your shoulder frantically, gulping when you saw a black SUV trailing far behind, it was them you knew it, your hand was resting on your stomach protectively. Not that it would do anything there was five of them and one of you. You were too busy looking at the black SUV, to realize you ran into something hard, you gulped, as realization started to dawn on you, what if that was all a ruse to get you distracted so you wouldn’t realize that someone was sneaking up in front of you.

“Please, we aren’t together anymore, he doesn’t care about me.” You whimpered, turning around to face your kidnapper, but you were meet with a confused Harrison.

“Thank god, it’s you.” You whimpered, wrapping your arms around his torso, very tight, burring your face into his chest.

“Calm down, sh, of course, it’s me, what are you talking about?” Harrison spoke, his hands resting on your back.

“They are after me, they found me, and t-they threatened me.” You sobbed out, making Harrison’s confusion turn into worry.

“Who?” he asked, absentmindedly rubbing soothing circles on your back. You lifted your head up to look at him, tears blurring your vision.

“Toms rival gang.” You whimpered out, making Harrison’s jaw clench. His eyes narrowing past you to look at the black SUV parked a far distance away, his arms unwrapped from you, though he grabbed the side of your face with both hands, making sure you look at him and only him. The pads of his thumbs wiping away the fallen tears.

“Come on, we will get him on board, and if that div doesn’t agree, then I’ll knock some sense into him, your life is in danger and so is the baby’s, you should tell him about the baby too, hopefully, that will make him help you.” Harrison spoke, letting go of the side of your face and grabbing your hand. He quickly pulled you with him to the gates of Tom’s mansion, punching in the password to unlock the side gate.

“I can’t tell him I’m pregnant.” You mumbled, but Harrison heard it. His hand hovered over the handle of the gate.

“Y/n, I’m getting Deja vu again, your life is on the line and so is the baby’s, all because you are letting your pride get in the way.” He snapped, turning around to face you, narrowing his eyes at you, as his jaw clenched, his grip on your hand tightening.

“I thought about it and I can’t, he won’t believe me anyways, he doesn’t trust me.” You spoke, making his grip on your hand soften, while his gaze softened.

“Then he is a div and you’re a div for not telling him, please just tell him, he deserves to know.” Harrison pleaded.

You nodded your head yes weakly, clearly you weren’t going to tell Tom, he should help you because he still cares, and that he still loves you not because your pregnant with his child. Would he even believe it? No, he wouldn’t, he thinks you cheated on him, so to him, that baby was someone else’s.

Harrison gave you a reassuring smile, clearly knowing you were lying, but he let it slide, maybe having him by your side might encourage you to tell Tom your pregnant.

Harrison opened the gate, pulling you along with him, he shut the gate behind him, making the gate lock automatically. He turned to face you, noticing your nervous state, he let go of your hand, his hands coming up to cup the side of your face, turning it towards him, to make you look into his blue eyes.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay, he is going to help you.” He spoke softly, as your eyes watered with tears. Lies, you thought.

“He is not going to agree, Haz, maybe I should just leave, I shouldn’t even be here, he doesn’t want me here, plus he probably got a new girlfriend now, and I-” you stammered.

“Hey, it’s worth a try, I know he is still hurting y/n, he still loves you, you will always hold a special place in his heart, and despite him fucking every girl that bats an eye lash at him, he is miserable without you, and when you tell him you need his help, because your life is in danger, I know he is going to help you and take you back.” Harrison spoke, cutting you off before you could even finish your sentence.

“You don’t know that.” You whispered, making Harrison give you a sympathetic look.

“I know that you broke his heart by not telling him the truth, making him believe you cheated on him.” Harrison stated.

“It’s better that way.” You whispered, looking away from him. Harrison only gave you deadpan expression.

“And telling him the truth now is the right thing to do.” Harrison spoke, stilling looking at you with a deadpan expression. You turned your attention back to him, raising one eyebrow at him.

“If he says no, I’m still going to help you.” Harrison spoke, making you let out a sigh.

“Your loyalty lies with him Harrison, not me. Besides, there’s like five of them and one of you, that’s an unfair game.” You sighed.

“You’re my best friend, well one of them, and my loyalty lies wherever I want it to lie.” Harrison growled.

“Fine, let’s go.” You huffed, getting out of his grip, you started to make your way towards the mansion, Harrison following suite.

Harrison gave you a reassuring look as you stood in front of the door, gulping, as you stared at the door, fiddling with your fingers nervously, breathing heavily.

“Rip the band-aid off, you’ll feel much better.” Harrison spoke softly, making you nod your head. Harrison opened the front door for you, the both of you entering the house, he carefully closed the door once you’s both entered. You stood in the foyer, looking around the room, your breathing quickening with every breath you took.

“Come on.” Harrison commanded, as he walked up to you, motioning with his head for you to follow him, which you did, but not before giving him a wavering smile. You then trailed behind him, as he made his way towards Tom’s office. You felt like your throat was closing as you and Harrison finally come towards the door.

You looked at him giving him a wavering smile, while he smiled at you, you then looked at the door, gulping, just as your hand went to grab the doorknob, Harrison grabbed your wrist, a slight look of worry written all over his face.

“Let me go in first see if his fucking that receptionist whore.” He spoke, making your heart fall to the pit of your stomach, you felt sick. Of course, he would be fucking her, what did you expect for him to do, wallow about and not fuck another woman. Maybe you shouldn’t have come here.

“Oh.” You mumbled, looking down at your feet, trying to keep the tears at bay, you tilted your head up, so they didn’t fall.

“Remember what I said, you’ll always hold a special place in his heart, nothing will change that, no matter how many whores he sleeps with, or if he gets a new girlfriend.” Harrison spoke, quietly.

“Sure.” You whispered bitterly, Harrison gave you a genuine smile before opening the door and entering Tom’s office.

“Good, you aren’t fucking that whore.” Harrison grunted, cringing in disgust at the thought of it.

“She has a name you know, and what do you want?” Tom grumbled, looking up from his laptop with an annoyed expression.

Harrison didn’t answer him, only rolling his eyes. He then turned around towards you, seeing you look stunned at the entrance of the door. He nodded for you to come in.

You nervously made your way into the office, at a snail’s pace, all the while fiddling with your fingers. When Tom saw you, his annoyed expression turned into a sinister look. Making you whimper, Harrison quickly stood beside you.

“Look what the cat dragged in, what do you want?” Tom growled, making you wince, you looked at Harrison, making him give you an encouraging smile, you then looked back to Tom, he was giving you the deadliest death glare ever. His jaw was clenched, and his fist balled up.

“Please tell me you’s two aren’t fucking?” Tom spat, his nostrils flaring.

“What, no, I need your help, r/g/n is after me.” You replied, Tom scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief, then pinched the bridge of his nose.

“You need my help? Well, princess your out of luck.” Tom growled, making you let out a whimper, tears started to form in your eyes, only making Tom roll his eyes, he wasn’t going to fall for your lies.

“Tom, I get you hate me right now, but please do this for the-, for me.” You spoke, correcting yourself, making Harrison’s hopeful look turn into a look of disappointment. Harrison was about to say something, but Tom cut him off.

“I hope your death is painless, I mean not really, I hope it’s as painful as when I found out you were cheating on me, now leave before I kill you myself.” He hissed out, making tears fall out from your eyes, your body trembling. Not that Tom cared. He was so cold towards you and it broke your heart. The look alone made you feel so worthless, there was no love in his eyes, just hatred.

“Okay, I’ll leave.” You sobbed out, you turned around, looking at Harrison one last time, but he looked away, feeling hurt that you didn’t tell Tom and that you lied to him. More tears fell, as you walked towards the door, stopping at the threshold, you looked over your shoulder to look at Tom, but his gaze was staring at the laptop screen.

You took a deep shaky breath before speaking.

“Just so you know, I never did cheat on you Tom, I loved you so much, I still do, I’ll love you to my dying breath, I’d tell you the real reason why I told Harrison not to tell you, but it doesn’t matter, I’ll be dead by the end of the day… just know that I love you, only you, no one compares.” you confessed.

“Leave.” Tom commanded.

You nodded your head, looking at Harrison to see him giving you a sad smile, you smiled at him, before turning your head back in front of you and walked out of the office, making your way to the front door numbly.

Harrison was just about to walk after you but, Toms booming voice stopped him.

“Don’t Harrison.” Tom warned Harrison turned around to face Tom giving him a glare.

“I hope you’re happy, her blood is now on your hands.” Harrison snapped.

“I don’t care, one less problem, now if you don’t mind, I have a meeting to get to, and don’t you dare go after her.” Tom hissed. Harrison let out a scoff.

“Yeah, with your whore, you never deserved y/n, to begin with.” Harrison growled, giving Tom one last deadly glare, before spinning on his heel and storming out of the office. Tom rolled his eyes, before picking up his phone and texting the receptionist…

Harrison ran out of the house, fastening his pace, as he ran to the gate, punching in the code in. When it unlocked, he yanked it open, storming out and stopping on the sidewalk, he looked frantically around, trying to search for you, but he couldn’t see any sign of you anywhere, his eyes widen in fear as he realized that the black SUV wasn’t anywhere in sight. A sinking feeling formed in the pit of his stomach as he gulped.

“No.” Harrison gasped out, he quickly took off running towards f/n’s house, he might have kept a lowkey surveillance on you once you left Tom, only because you were pregnant, and he needed to know if you were safe. But obviously, he failed to notice r/g/n, was watching you.

・。・゜☆・。・。☆・゜・。・゜。・。・゜☆・。・。 MEANWHILE

You wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to comfort yourself, feeling deflated, every so often looking over your shoulder to see that black SUV following you, almost tormenting you. It made your heart thump faster, your whole-body quivering, you where only a few more blocks away from f/n’s house, then you’d be safe, but you knew you weren’t really safe, once the mob was after you then they wouldn’t stop until they had you, or they killed you.

You let out a sigh of relief as f/n’s house comes into view, you turned your attention back to the black SUV, seeing it parked on the sideway. You gulped, your heart beating faster, turning your attention back in front of you, you quickly took off running towards f/n’s house, grabbing the doorknob, and turning it, yanking it opening, and rushing inside, slamming the door behind you, you quickly locked the door, putting the door chain across.

You turned around, leaning your back against the door, as you tried to calm your breathing, you felt like you were going to be sick.

“Hello, sweet cheeks.” A familiar soothing voice startled you, making you gasp in shock. Your head shot up towards the sound of his voice, your eyes widening in fear as they landed on him, your eyes wandering slightly then stopping on f/n, he held her flush against his body, she looked at you with tear filled eyes, it felt like your heart was caught in your throat. If you didn’t feel like throwing up before you felt like throwing up now.

“Please, just leave her out of this, it’s me you want, not her.” You pleaded as tears welled in your eyes.

He cocked his head to the side, furrowing his eyebrows, as he pretended to think for a second, but really, he wasn’t, he was just taunting you, he then looked at you, a smirk crossing his face.

“Nah.” He responded, your face fell into a look of horror, as he pressed the gun against the temple of your friend’s head, then pulled the trigger, all the while smirking at you. You quickly took off running towards your room, though he was faster than you, his finger entangled in your hair, yanking your hair back, as he grabbed the nape of your neck roughly, his fingers digging into your skin, he slammed your body roughly against the wall, making you whimper, as your head hit the wall, which made you wince in pain.

“I’m not with him, you’re making a huge mistake, he isn’t going to care if you hurt me or kill me.” You whimpered out, tears falling rapidly from your eyes.

“Just because he dumped you doesn’t mean you are entirely useless, and besides you’ll always hold a special place in his heart, and that makes you the perfect weakness to get to him.” He grumbled.

His hand slipped away from the nape of your neck, so he could grab a fistful of your hair, then banged your head roughly against the wall, a gasp escaped from your mouth, as black spots started to appear in your vision until it was replaced with black entirely.

“Such a shame a pretty thing like you has to suffer for his actions.” He spoke, voice void of emotion, he smirked as he watched you fall to the ground.

He then crouched down, picking you up, then hoisting you over his shoulder, one of his hands resting on your back, he walked towards the door, taking the door chain off, then unlocking it. He yanked it open, smirking as he saw the black SUV parked in front of the house, he confidently walked out of the house, leaving the door open. He strode over to the car, his hand grabbed the latch of the trunk, pressing it open and pulling it up, it slowly lifted. He dumped your body in the back of the trunk, then slammed it. He smirked at his reflection in the rear windscreen of the car, before walking to the passenger side, yanking the door handle open, and hopping in, he slammed the door shut, the guy from his gang took off speeding.

“He won’t see it coming.” He chuckled darkly. Making the guy that was driving look at him.

“Are you sure he is going to care? He did break up with her, and by the looks of it denied helping her.” The guy asked, questioning his boss.

He gave him a death glare, then slammed his head against the steering wheel, making the guy slam his foot on the brakes, making the car screech to a stop.

“Don’t you ever question me again, otherwise, I’ll put a bullet in your head, and dump you in a ditch.” He growled, through clenched teeth.

“Okay, I’m sorry boss.” The guy stammered out, rubbing his forehead, as a bruise started to form.

“Good, now step your foot on it.” He grumbled, making the guy shake his head yes rapidly.

The guy pressed his foot down on the accelerator, speeding off again….

・。・゜☆・。・。☆・゜・。・゜。・。・゜☆・。・。 MEANWHILE

Harrison quickly made his way towards your friend’s house, his eyes widening as he saw the front door open, he quickly took out his gun, before he entered the house, stopping in the threshold when he saw your friends’ dead body, her blood surrounding her, panic started to sink in.

“Y/n.” he called out frantically, his gun in front of him, as he checked every room, but you weren’t there.

“Shit.” He cursed, stumbling backwards, and running his fingers through his hair in distress.

He had to find you fast before they killed you…

・。・゜☆・。・。☆・゜・。・゜。・。・゜☆・。・。

Your eyes slowly fluttered open, you let out a groan, as your head throbbed in intense pain. You tried to reach your hand up to rub it but you couldn’t, it was restricted, which made you panic, you looked down to your hands to see them tied to the armrest of the chair, your legs were also bounded as well to the legs of the chair, your eyes widen in fear, as your heart beated rapidly fast, you felt like your throat was closing up, tears welled in your eyes, sobbing quietly.

“Well look who is up…” A familiar voice spoke, making your head snap up. You shook your head no rapidly, whimpering a “No.” and “Please don’t.”, repeatedly, as the guy took slow strides over towards you.

“I honestly like you, y/n, I really do, but I really wanna see Tom crumble, I wanna see him fall, and I like that more than you.” He smirked, finally standing in front of you.

“Please, we aren’t together, he doesn’t care.” You begged, by this point you were a sobbing mess.

“Yeah, Yeah, so you say, but you see he does care, even though you broke his heart, I know the news of your death, will end him, it will be his downfall.” He spoke, crouching in front of you. His hand rested on the side of your cheek, making you tremble in fear, gulping repeatedly, as his thumb stroked your jawline.

“So, where should we begin.” He spoke standing back up, his touch leaving yours, as you continued to quiver in fear, you shook your head no, as tears blurred your vision. You didn’t notice the rest of his gang come out of the shadows, until they stood in front of you, making your heart suddenly stop.

“Please, don’t, please, no.” you pleaded, but your pleas fell on death ears.

You let out a blood curdling scream as you felt your fingers bend back until they snapped, more tears fell from your eyes.

“Stop.” You whimpered out, tears fell from your eyes from the pain of your broken fingers.

“And why should I?” he asked, breaking your fingers on your other hand, you clenched your teeth, whimpering in pain, you were sure this was going to cause you to lose the baby.

“Because I’m pregnant.” You confessed, hoping they would show mercy, and let you off lightly, but you should have known better. The look he was giving you was a look of pure evil.

“Ah, you’re pregnant.” He beamed, the hopeful look in your eyes dimmed, then was replaced with fear. You gulped, leaning backwards to try and get away from him. The rest of the gang were smirking at you.

“This is the best news I’ve heard today, seeing Tom’s face when he hears I killed his unborn child is even more justice then hearing you got killed.” He chuckled darkly, fear crossed your face, as your body trembled, your breathing quickening.

He turned his attention to his gang, smirking at them, having a silent conversation with them, all of them suddenly turned their attention towards you, smirking at you evilly, you were petrified.

“Why don’t you just go after that whore he is fucking.” You stuttered out, trying to save yourself, but they all just chuckled at you, making you sob even harder.

The guy with the blue eyes, and light brown hair, which you assumed now must be the leader, grabbed your chin tilting it up roughly, so you could stare into his cold blue eyes. Making you tremble even more.

“Whores are worthless, sweet cheeks, you, on the other hand, are carrying his spawn, and that makes you very valuable, besides that he still has feelings for you and seeing him crumble when he finds out that his bitch and his unborn child are dead, would be wonderful.” He smirked, making you sob even harder, you were beyond petrified, you wished they would hurry up and torture you or kill you, instead of taunting you.

He furrowed his eyebrows for a second, before looking at you with a deadpan expression.

“Unless it isn’t his, but I have a gut feeling it is his, and I always trust my gut, I’ve never been wrong.” He spoke.

“Might even rip that unborn child out of your stomach, then take a picture of both your dead bodies, then send it to Tommy boy.” He chuckled darkly, your mouth went dry, you felt a lump form in your throat, as a wave of nausea hit you.

“I’m only six weeks along.” You whimpered, the guys face dropped into a scowl, not pleased by hearing this, he let go of your chin roughly, making you wince in pain.

Without any warning he punched you hard in the stomach, making you let out a groan in pain, squirming in the chair, more tears poured out of your eyes, at this point you were full-on bawling. An intense cramp started to form in your lower abdomen. Your head fell forward, as you clenched your teeth hard together, you were certain you would chip one of them soon.

“That’s a shame, now my plan of ripping that unborn child out of your stomach is ruined, and I don’t like it when I don’t get my way.” The guy growled, punching you in the stomach harder this time, the pain started to get worse, to the point you felt like you were going to throw up or pass out.

The guy continued to punch you in the stomach, until you couldn’t feel the punches, only the intense cramping in your lower pelvis, your stomach and back, you felt the familiar feeling of intense pain and blood flowing out of your lower region, it felt like it was your period, but you knew it wasn’t your period at all, it was you having a miscarriage.  You lost the baby, all because you couldn’t tell Tom the truth in the first place. fuck. You thought to yourself. You felt a chill ran up your spine, you felt nausea and numb.

You didn’t even realize the guy had stopped, nor did you realize him signalling to the other members to hurt you, the guys blue eyes took in the sight of you one last time, before he turned around a smirk on his face.

“Have fun guys, beat her to death, then dump her body in a river infested with alligators.” He commanded, before walking up the stairs and leaving the basement.

The rest of the gang smirked at you, as one of them took out a pocketknife, while two of them took out brass knuckles, the other one just balled their fist. They looked at each other before the one that had his fist balled took a step forward lifting your chin up with his fingers, then punching you in the eye. But you didn’t feel it, you were already numb anyways. He punched you again and again until your eye swelled up. He punched you one last time before moving back, smirking at the others.

“My turn.” The one with the pocketknife said, as your head slumped forward. Your ears ringing.

“Such a shame Tom let a pretty girl like you go, but by the time we’re finished with you, you’ll be unrecognizable, that they’ll have to identify you by your dental records.” He taunted, grabbing your hair roughly and yanking it backwards, he ran the blade along your cheek, taunting you by running the blade along your cheek, then sliced your cheek, making a whimper leave your lips, as you felt a stinging sensation on your cheek.

His eyes scanned down towards your exposed neck, biting his lower lip. His eyes darkening with lust, but not with sexual desire, it was more the desire of murder, the desire to see you writhing in pain, before he pressed it against your neck harshly, nipping at the skin, your eyes widen as you let out a groan of pain, trying to wiggle out of your bounds but you couldn’t it was no use. The guy just laughed evilly, the rest of the gang doing the same.

Instead of slitting your throat or cutting it, like you were expecting him to, in one swift motioned he pulled it away and plunged into your stomach, making you let out a scream, which only made him smirk, he yanked the knife out, making you whimper, your head slumped down to look at the wound, blood soaking your blouse, as you felt blood gushing out of the wound, the ringing in your ears intensified, as black spots started to appear in your vision. You quickly coughed up blood, some of it running out of your mouth and down your chin, dripping onto your jeans.

The guy took a step back, admiring his work with a wicked grin on his lips.

“Who’s up next?” he spoke, turning to the other three, both the guys with the brass knuckles took a step forward, cocky smirks on their faces, as they stared at your broken trembling frame.

“You know, I’m starting to get a new idea, what if we chop her up into pieces and send them to Tom?” one of them suggested, as he stared at the brass knuckles.

The other three looked at him in with excitement in their eyes. While your eyes widen in fear, your heart beating faster by the second.

“I like that idea.” One spoke.

“Sounds better than dumping her in a river infested with alligators.” Another one spoke.

“I want to be the one that does it, I want to cut her limps off her, while she writhes and screams in pain.” The one with the knife spoke darkly, looking at the blade intently. The other three looked at each other giving each other a shocked look before it changed into an evil smirk. All the while you whimpered in pain, the cramping getting worse, you clenched your thighs together trying to reduce the pain, but it didn’t work.

“Okay, that’s settled then, but first, let me have a little bit of fun.” He chuckled darkly, balling his fist up, then bringing it towards your jaw, the cold brass metal smacking your skin, making your head snap to the side, the ringing in your ear got louder, deafening you. Your breathing got heavy.

“I got to hand it to you, y/n, you’re the first woman to ever break the cycle. I mean he does like to cheat on his girlfriends, but I guess he got a dose of his own medicine.” He smirked.

“I don’t really believe its Tom’s baby, not that it matters.” He started to say, then stopped looking down at your pants to see blood there.

“Not like it matters now.” He snickered, then connected his fist against your cheek, the brass knuckles cutting the skin. Your cheek aching, as well as your jaw. Blood starting to collect in your mouth, as your eyes blurred with more tears.

“I mean given how you’s two started out…I mean I’m only speculating here but weren’t you’s both in relationships when you’s two started to see each other?” he asked, though you didn’t answer him.

His hand grabbed your chin roughly, the cool metal of the brass knuckles pressing against your skin, and yanking it in his direction, as you stared at him through tear filled eyes.

“You were his whore , to begin with, weren’t you?” He hissed, instead of answering him you spat the blood out at him, making him hiss in anger, his grip tightening on your chin.

“You bitch.” He fumed, slapping you hard against the cheek, making your head roll to the side, tears escaped your eyes, as the guy quickly took out his pocketknife, flicking it open.

Before he could even do anything, a gunshot rang out through the room, then another one, he heard a gunshot go off beside him, but another one rang out behind him, he heard his mate beside him let out a moan of pain. He quickly dropped the pocketknife and took out his gun, spinning around.

A smirk falls upon his face, as he saw Harrison, as Harrison stared at him, a deadly look in his blue eyes.

“Course, you’d come and save your whore, let me guess you were the one fucking her. Does Tom know? Cause this is just golden.” He smirked.

“I’m not fucking her, she’s my best friend, family even, and when you mess with my family you mess with me.” Harrison growled, through clenched teeth.

The guy was about to say something, but Harrison shot him without blinking. He then lowered his gun, as he saw you, his heart fell into the pit of his stomach, as his eyes started to well up with tears.

He quickly rushed over to you, crouching down in front of you.

“Y/n.” he quaked, as his hands cupped your cheeks gently tilting your head up to look at him, he grimaced as he saw your eye swollen and a cut along your cheek, as well as a red handprint on your cheek. Blood on your chin and the side of your mouth, his eyes wandered down towards your hands, seeing your fingers broken, his eyes then wandered towards your torso, seeing a stab wound, he gulped, before he let his eyes wondered down towards your pelvis, that’s when tears welled up in his eyes, he felt like he was going to throw up. He looked away quickly, looking at your face instead.

You let out a whimper, your head slightly slumping forward, your eyes were shut closed, making Harrison’s heart quickened, as he looked at you in concern.

“It’s me Harrison.” Harrison spoke, his thumb absently caressing your cheek, turning to soothe you.

“H-Harrison.” You whimper out, opening your eyes, lifting your head up, so you could see him.

“Yeah, I got you, you’re safe now, I’m going to get you out of here.” He spoke, ever so delicately, his warm hands left your cheeks, making you whimper at the loss of the contact.

Harrison quickly took out his pocketknife, undoing the binds, once he cut all the ropes that bounded you, he put his pocketknife back in his pocket. You slumped forward nearly falling over, but Harrison caught you before you could fall forward, helping you up.

“I lost the baby.” You whispered, making Harrison give you a sympathetic look.

He was going to say something when you spoke again, your body slightly swaying in his embrace.

“I don’t feel so good.” You stuttered out, your vision going blurry, you then suddenly fainted in his arms.

“Shit.” Harrison cursed, picking you up bridal style, and walking towards the stairs, and ascending them.

“Hold on, okay, y/n, stay with me.” Harrison stuttered out, as he quietly snuck out of the mansion.

He delicately put your body down on the backseat of his car, closing the door softly, he then opened the driver’s door, and got in, slamming it shut, he quickly turned the key that was still in the ignition, turning the car on, and putting his foot on the accelerator and speeding off.

Harrison sped to the hospital, every so often his gaze would land on you, looking at you through the rear-view mirror.

“Just hang in there y/n, I’m nearly there, hold in there for me, for… Tom.” He spoke, his heart beated faster, as his grip on the steering wheel tightened, his knuckles turning white.

About twenty minutes later he reached the hospital, pulling up in front of the entrance of the hospital, not even bothering to turn the car off, he yanked the door open, running to the passenger side, and yanking it open, he leaned down wrapping his arm around you and picking you up, he quickly took you out of the car, then turned around and walked towards the doors of the hospital, leaving the passenger door opened, the glass doors slide open automatically.

Harrison rushed inside, rushing over to the reception.

“Help her, she’s been badly injured.” He demanded, the nurses looked up with wide eyes.

One of them trying to calm him while the other one rolled a gurney towards him, the nurse carefully took you out his grasp and put you on the gurney, a little to roughly for Harrison’s liking. He glared at her before speaking.

“Careful.” He grumbled, clenching his fist.

They looked at your broken body then looked back at Harrison.

“Please help her.” Harrison spoke quietly.

“Well, try.” The one that took you from him said. Harrison narrowed his eyes at her.

“You better pray to god she doesn’t die, otherwise you will regret it.” Harrison hissed, not realizing he moved closer to the nurse, she looked at him with fear in her eyes.

“Sir you need to calm down, she is in great care now, why don’t you sit over there and wait, we’ll get you when we are done.” The other nurse spoke, making Harrison snap out of it, he took a step back, nodding his head, he gave you one last look before turning around and walking towards the waiting chairs. The nurses rolled you off towards the closed doors.

He had to ring Tom, he had to tell him the truth, Harrison took out his phone, unlocking it, then going into the contact application, he scrolled down until he saw Toms contact, he clicked on it, then pressed the call button, bringing the phone up to his hear as he heard the sound of it ringing.

“What is it Harrison?” Tom snapped, breathing heavily.

“I need to tell you something.” Harrison grumbled.

“I’m a little busy here.” Tom replied, Harrison heard rustling, then a muffled moan, he rolled his eyes.

“Get rid of her, this very important.” Harrison growled.

“Fine, leave.” Tom grunted, pulling out of her, and standing up, giving her an imitating look.

“But-” she tried to protest.

“Out.” Tom ordered, giving her a death glare, she gulped, grabbing her clothes and scurrying out of the room.

“Well?” Tom asked, getting irritated, he tilted his head to the side, resting the phone between his ear and his shoulder as he pulled his boxers and pants back up, putting his belt back on. The line was silent for a second before Harrison let out a sigh, then started to speak.

“It’s about y/n, she’s-.” Harrison started, only for Tom to interrupt.

“Oh, for fuck shake, Haz, not this shit again, I don’t care, you made me get rid of a good fuck, to talk about my cheating ex, who had the nerve to come to me and ask for my help.” Tom ranted.

“Let’s be real Tom, that whore your fucking ain’t a good fuck for you, nothing has been, you and I both know that nothing could replace y/n, swallow your bloody pride for once and realize that you were wrong about her cheating on you, she never did cheat on you, Tom, she adores you too much to do that.” Harrison started off before he could say his next words, Tom cut him off.

“Then what were you and she talking about that night then, huh?” Tom growled, clenching his phone tighter.

“I found out she was pregnant, I found a letter, and that’s when I saw the results, I tried to talk her into telling her you, but she was really set on believing you would leave her or worse, if you don’t believe me then check the top drawer of my bedside table that’s situated on the left, that’s where the letter is.” Harrison confessed, his voice genuine, it finally felt like the weight on his shoulder was being lifted.

Tom on the other hand rolled his eyes, though he felt a bit curious, Harrison’s voice sounded genuine and Harrison would never lie to him, curiosity started to set in, to the point he swiftly made his way out of the office and walked towards Harrison’s room, opening the door, and slowly walking over towards the bedside table Harrison said it was in, he opened the drawer, seeing a folded up, piece of paper, it was crumpled a bit. He picked it up, unfolding it, his eyes scanning the words, and when he did, it felt like his heart stopped beating, his hands started to shake, it felt like the whole world was closing in on him. Tears welled up in his eyes as he stared at the word positive.

“I so badly wanted to tell you, to confess to you, to tell you, but every time I brought her name up, you always dismissed it, or chewed my head off, not to mention stormed off.” Harrison spoke again, he took a deep breath before speaking the next words.

“She was pregnant, but she had a miscarriage, she doesn’t look good Tom, she’s all beaten up, Tom she needs you now more than ever, so swallow your god damn pride and be there for her.” Harrison snapped, getting dirty and annoyed looks from other people sitting on the waiting chairs. But Harrison didn’t care Tom needed to hear it.

He fucked up badly, all because he accused you of cheating, maybe if he didn’t jump to conclusions you’s would still be together, he was a god damn idiot, this was all his fault, that you had a miscarriage, he should have helped you, he wanted to deep down, but he was so god damn pissed of that you ‘cheated’ on him, that he rejected helping you. Tom dropped the letter, cupping his mouth with his hand, then started to weep.

“Fuck, I fucked up, didn’t I? She never cheated on me at all, I just jumped to a conclusion, and I fucked our relationship up, I made her have a miscarriage and now she’s badly hurt because of me, they hurt her, they killed my child, and, I’m going to kill them. I’m going to murder them for hurting her, for putting their filthy hands on her, and killing my child.” Tom cried though he spoke the end bit with an angry tone.

“Well duh, I just told you she was pregnant, and slow down there, first comfort her, be there for her then get revenge.” Harrison responded.

“Where is she? I have to see her, I have to try and fix things, apologize for being a dick to her.” Tom asked, running his fingers through his hair.

“She’s at h/n.”  Harrison answered.

“I’m coming.” Tom responded, hanging up on Harrison, he quickly made his way out of Harrison’s room, running as fast as he could towards the door that leads to the garage, all the while his heart thumped harder.

Tom yanked the door open, opening the car door open, hopping in and slamming it, he pushed the start button, the car roared to life, he grabbed the remote to the garage door, pressing it open, the roller door slowly went up, to slowly for Tom’s liking when it reached a certain height where he could go through, he backed up quickly, then turned around the car rather roughly, then sped off towards the front gate, opening it with another small remote, at least that one opened up quick, Tom sped off, flooring the accelerator and going full speed, tears fell from his eyes, as his heart beated faster…

Tom parked his car in a free space, basically stealing it from the car on his left that was taking too long to back into it. The driver he stole, the parking space from, beeped his horn, yelling at him while flipping Tom off, Tom didn’t really care though he was too worried about seeing you, he hopped out of the car, and rushed over to the entrance, Tom didn’t even wait for the automatic glass sliding doors to open fully, he squeezed himself inside, his eyes frantically scanned the room then landed on Harrison’s figure hunched forward, his head resting in his hands. Tom rushed over towards Harrison.

“Is she okay? What is her condition? Is she out yet?” Tom frantically asked, making Harrison jump up in fright.

“I don’t know.” Harrison answered, Tom, let out a huff, before running his fingers through his hair, rocking back and forth on the balls of his heels. Breathing heavily.

“Tom-” Harrison started to say, only for Tom to cut him off.

“This is all my fault, this wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t jumped to conclusions.” Tom rambled.

“Tom.” Harrison sighed.

“I should have never accused her of cheating on me, god I’m an idiot for believing she would cheat on me.” Tom sobbed, putting his head in his hands, as he paced in front of Harrison.

“Yeah, you are a div.” Harrison huffed.

“And now, she’s fighting for her life because of me.” Tom whimpered.

“Well, you weren’t the one that tortured her, you did deny her protection, but not the one that tortured her.” Harrison spoke, but Tom continued to pace. all the while his head was in his hands.

Tom stopped pacing, looking at Harrison, with tears welling in his eyes, Harrison gave him a small smile.

“W-what did they do to her?” he asked, making Harrison’s gaze drop down to his lap, he pursed his lips, then looked up again, looking at Tom.

“They broke all her fingers on both hands, she has cuts on her cheek, plus there’s a red handprint on her face, her eye is swollen, and, she uh, has a stab wound on her abdomen, and, uh, you know that miscarriage thing, there’s a lot of blood down there in that region.” Harrison answered, hesitantly.

This was the second time Tom felt his heart stop, he didn’t let the tears stop, as they fell from his eyes.

Harrison tried to speak, but another voice cut him off, making them both turn their attention towards the voice.

“Are you family or friends of Miss y/n, l/n??” the doctor asked, holding a clipboard.

“Friend.” Harrison answered.

“I’m her, um, boyfriend.” Tom lied, gulping, the doctor looked up from the clipboard for a second, one eyebrow raised, he then looked back at the clipboard before looking back up at them, before speaking.

“Y/n is stable now, though we would like to keep her in for observations for a few days.” The doctor spoke, Harrison nodded his head, while Tom shot out a question.

“Can we see her?” Tom questioned, though it might have come off in a demanding tone, he didn’t care though, he just wanted to see you.

“Yes, she’s in room 222, second floor, she-” the doctor spoke, but Tom didn’t wait to hear the rest of what he said, Harrison gave the doctor an apologetic smile then a thanks, before he ran off after Tom.

Quickly slipping into the elevator, before the doors could close, Tom nervously fiddled with his thumbs waiting for the elevator to get up to the second floor, as soon as the doors dinged open, Tom took off running towards the room you were in, Harrison following him, though he couldn’t really keep up…

You let out a whimper, as your eyes fluttered open, the machine started to beep fast, your heart quickening, as your eyes roaming the room to see you were in a hospital.

“You’re awake, how you are feeling?” the nurse asked, you turned your head to face her, seeing her back facing you, as she looked at your IV bag, then back at the steel cart beside her.

“N-numb.” You weakly mumbled, your voice hoarse.

“Any pain?” she asked, her back still turned to you, as she picked a needle up, then opened a small bottle, putting the needle in it than pulling the plunger up, filling the barrel up with the liquid, she brought it up in front of her face eyeing it.

“Just cramping, but it’s light.” You answered, eying her suspiciously.

“I can take care of that.” She hummed, picking up the injection port of the IV bag and tilting it, she then proceeded to put the needle in it, empty the content in the IV bag.

“No loose ends.” She spoke, you furrowed your eyebrows not sure if you heard her correctly.

The nurse turned around to face you, smirking at you, your eyes widen in recognition as you saw her face, she was that woman that was with r/n at the café, before you could react, she leaned down towards you, putting her hand on your mouth, muffling your whimpers.

“You’ll be dead for good, no one can save you.” She smirked, taking the remote away from you before you could even think about touching it.

“Such a shame.” She taunted, while tears welled in your eyes. She turned her head to look at drip, smiling as the liquid made its way down.

Her smile got wide, as it finally entered you, her free hand grabbed a strand of your hair and twirled it. The monitor started beeping rapidly. She let out a hum, as your pupils went huge, your whimpers and screams were muffled, as you felt blood drip out of your nose, then your eyes. Your organs slowly shutting off one by one.

She opened her mouth to speak, but got cut off by the door opening, her headsnapped towards the direction of the door, her eyes widen in fear as she stared at Tom and Harrison. Tom didn’t speak to her, he just gave her the death glare, taking out his gun and putting it in front of him, aiming it at her, she quickly stood up, she tried to say something, but Tom pulled the trigger, the bullet hitting her forehead, Tom quickly rushed over towards you, sitting near you and wrapping his arms around you pulling you closer to him, cradling you to his chest, tears falling rapidly from his eyes.

You looked up at him with glazed eyes, trying to speak but nothing came out, just blood. Making Tom cry even harder, holding you closer to his body, your body violently shook. He held your hand tightly, bringing it up to his lips and pressing a soft kiss against the back of your hand.

“Y/n, p-please, j-just s-stay w-with m-e, hold…on.” He pleaded, but your body was shutting down, your eyes slowly fluttered closed, as darkness started to surround you, your body stopped jerking. The monitor beeping loudly, your heart rate flatlined.

“No, keep your eyes open, I’m sorry, I am so sorry for accusing you of cheating, I’m sorry, please don’t leave me, please, these past two weeks without you have been torture, I don’t think I’ll be able to survive. I can’t go on without you, y/n.” he sobbed out.

His sob got caught in his throat as your body went limp in his arms. He then cried hysterically.

“No.” he cried repeatedly, desperately trying to get you to wake up. He quickly checked your pulse, thinking he felt a pulse, but really it was just his own pulse, hope glimmered in his eyes. He laid you gently down on the bed, then started to do chest compressions, while pleading for to stay with him, and wake up, all the while promising promises that would never be kept, they would never happen, because you were gone, and Tom couldn’t accept it.

Harrison looked away as Tom continued to try and revive you, but there was no point. Harrison turned around and leaned his forehead against the window. Not noticing that a doctor and some nurses walked in until he felt himself being escorted out of the room. Harrison looked in shock, as Tom got pulled out of the room, but he was putting up a fight, trying to get back to you, all the while yelling and screaming at them to help you, and for them to get their hands off of him, threatening them.

The male nurse pushed him out of the room, closing the door to the room and leaning on it, preventing Tom to get in.

“You should be in there saving her.” Tom snapped, grabbing the guy by the collar of his shirt.

“I’m sorry sir, but she’s dead.” He spoke, trying to get out of Toms grip.

“No, I felt a pulse, don’t you dare call her time.” Tom snapped.

The male nurse turned his head to look through the small glass window on the door, seeing them call your time of death. Not realizing that Tom was looking as well.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized, turning around to face Tom.

“No, shock her.” Tom commanded, the male nurse looked at Tom in horror.

“They already called her time of death.” The male nurse stuttered out, trembling with fear. Tom took out his gun, pressing the cold barrel against the guy’s temple.

“Go in there and tell them to shock her.” Tom ordered, his eyes boring into the male nurse’s eyes, the male nurse's hand reached for the door, but just when he was about to open it, Tom got pulled away from the male nurse.

“Tom, stop, come on let’s just go outside.” Harrison spoke, the male nurse quickly went inside the room, locking the door.

Tom spun around pointing the gun at Harrison instead, Harrison raised his hands up in surrender.

“They’ll pay…” Tom fumed.

“Tom, -” Harrison spoke, only to get cut off.

“They will all pay, every last one of them.” He growled, lowering his gun and storming off, leaving a shocked Harrison behind…