#I suck at consistent faces
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SD / WV?
Sorry for the wait, here yah go
South Dakota doing her girlfriend’s hair and baby dog being a cutie sleeping in West Virginia’s lap.Eepy baby :3
I started this drawing in July but then gave up just to come back. Lovely time.
Anyway- yapping over. I’ll skedaddle 🏃♂️
#wttt#wttsh#welcome to the statehouse#welcome to the table#ben brainard#wttt fanart#wttsh fanart#wttt shipping#wttt south dakota#wttsh South Dakota#wttt west virginia#wttsh west virginia#kinda crappy but it took me 5 hours 😭#I suck at consistent faces
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Pages from trying to keep a little sketchbook-scrapbook type thing going for two weeks lol. I gave myself specific rules in hopes they might all end up more cohesive/consistent seeming, but alas, scribbly chaos reigns, it seems
#sketchbook#scrapbook#Actually I feel like these are kind of incomprehensible in photo form like.. In person holding the book its easy to look at#but as images on this scale I feel like there's so much tiny little text and small scribles and stuff you'd have to 'right click > open#image in new browser tab > zoom in' just to actually really see the thing. which for 7 images is excessive lol.. so. probably not the best#medium for sharing really but. I suppose I thought they might look cooler lined up next to each other. The whole part of using a#limited color palette is so that maybe they kind of seem to have more consistent color schemes or something throughout. but I dont#know if they look all that 'related' or not. I think these types of challenges I have always sucked at because I am a being of clutter and#excess. I can't just do like one little simple nice looking design and have that Crisp Neat calligraphy with evenhanded perfect lines#and perfect symmetical composition and etc. etc. Like some poeple post very aesthetically clean and cohesive looking sketch#pages or something but I simply cannot hold back the brain impulse to add more. more. more. Fill every single blank space with color#or a little drawing or a sticker or something. I take away 500 things and there are still a million there. Even when I thik I'm being#'simplistic' I'm still usually being 2x more complicated and cluttered than the standard or whatever lol. I guess thats clear from my#outfits/costumes though too. Like whatever that saying is from that person about something like 'before you leave the house take off one#more accessory. you dont need it' for me is like.. 'before you leave the house. add 10 more accessories. and 6 more layers. and another'#AAANyway. I wonder if also maybe some people would try to plan theirs in a way to look good or something or like.. plot things on the page#before placing them. I did sometimes have a theme for a day kind of (like day 10 I ended up finding a few gold and green things and then#was like.. hey... what if I looked for a few other things and only used these colors today') but aside from that I was just slapping down#stickers randomly and working around them to fill the page. Maybe a lot of neat minimalistic asthetic design is about planning and#having a Vision set ahead of time. instead of just complete random whatever. doodling whilst watching youtube videos or eating lunch. It's#a miracle actually I've managed to not spill any food on the book the whole time. anyway.. I do wish the highlighter really showed up. the#scanner kind of makes the colors look VERY different to irl. But also it got much clearer images than just camera pictures of pages. alas..#..Still oddly enjoy the phrase 'Salisbury Steak gently kissed with industrial pollutants'#probably my favorite section of 'gluing random papers and things onto the page' lol#Also I wonder if it's super obvious that I literally never ever use references when I draw (save for the few freakish looking youtube#face sketches) since everyone is always in the same positions and looking very similar ghhb. This could have been a good opportunity to#work on not solely drawing from my mind and try to do more Dynamic Experimental scribbles. NO. Same exact eye for the 90th time#be upon ye. But I guess it was meant to be casual 'daily doodles'. True 'practice' would make it seem too effortful like a full project. hm#(lol the one decimated pencil in the set... never hand me a writing utensil. i will passively destroy it somehow. shaving the sides of a#pencil off with a knife or snapping a pen in half as a nervous fidget without even realizing i've done it. sorry to the drawing implements)
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james norrington + smiles
"Remind me when I crack a smile in this film." Jack Davenport, Curse of the Black Pearl commentary
#potc#movies#movies I love#james norrington#when you're in a sardonic smile competition and your opponents are James Norrington and Mr. Sardonicus#This is great for my mental health so long as I don't look at the last gif because then my mental health takes a significant dive#That last gif is genuinely the happiest he's ever looked and he's about to fucking die just shoot me in the face#So his first genuine (ish?) smile was at Elizabeth (albeit for slightly demented reasons like hanging pirates because James has zero chill)#and his last genuine smile was at Elizabeth (while talking about Weatherby unaware he was already dead because the writers are EVIL)#Tried to get all the times he smiles throughout the movies but there were a few I wasn't sure could be interpreted as smiling#and also just before he starts his proposal you can tell he's smiling at Elizabeth but he's mostly facing away from the camera#brilliant people and masters of the holy gif: how do you get consistent skin tones because I clearly suck at it#anyway an effort was made#and I had fun#this whole idea was born of the Keira & Jack commentary track#behold: my husband#I should really rewatch Mr. Sardonicus#allie gifs
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Do you know why Lilly's name is written with two "L"s? Because the two "L"s stand for SILLY!
Sorta comic redraw? (She is listening to Geckle and Munce and how they don't like each other.) (I think they didn't like each other even before the whole blades stuff?)
Also yea, that's sorta still a child, she is like at most 19 here. (According to my most likely inaccurate calculations of timeline and I do believe it. You can't do anything about it.)
#SINCAP POSTED ART OMG#and it sucks we know we know#but regardless#I really wanted to make this better but I just lack the skill#so maybe in the future I might visit this one again#this was enough struggle for now#I know what she looks like but I am not sure if I am consistent with the way I draw her face...#CONSIDER THIS UNFINISHED ART#ninjago#ninjago fanart#ninjago lilly#sincap draws sometimes
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really feeling like drawing right now. not actively, not right this second, but on a deeper level I feel like I could draw if I wanted to which has not been the case for a while. I do want to after I finish running an errand... I need to focus on something else, turn off my brain for a bit
#uuahg#I keep forgetting that I Am actually diagnosed with something and that a lot of the problems I face on a day-to-day come as a direct result#frustrating as shit#I wish it was harder to conceal these things so at the very least people who'd understand would somewhat gravitate towards my general area#and I wouldn't feel as if I were “pulling the rug” self-pathologizing or attention seeking#by making the choice to express what I'm really feeling once in a while#as shitty as that is and as grateful as I am for being able to function it sucks to feel alone & it's worse when it's by choice#granted it's a choice fueled and consistently re-affirmed by mental illness. but it's not an excuse for anything#its something I hold myself to and nobody else. I think it's healthy for people to talk about their problems and I try to encourage it#and I see the hypocrisy 100%. I know everything about this is wrong and unfounded but it's hard when everything you feel contradicts logic#it sucks when you consider yourself to be logical and then have this kinda wrench get thrown into your way of thinking#It gets harder and harder to trust yourself#I reach into my pocket for something to blame and end up touching my own pasty ass thigh because there's a hole in it#single angelic note
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...
#ay. tomorrow might b the day i face the music#which is to say. i tell my advisor how fucked i am. i mean. ill spin it so it doesn't sound so bad#its just that ive told him like 2 weeks in a row that id send him my edited preproposal and i have not bc im too afraid to start reading#papers related to my project. which is frustrating. and like the thing is. and i kno ive said it before and i kno im not a fucking idiot#i can read papers and i can even understand what theyre broadly saying. but thats it.#zero critical thinking. zero insight. i use all my tiny fucking brain space to try to understand the words on the pages#and even then it only forms this broken fucking image of whats being said. like u dont understand. i used to struggle with writing papers bc#i couldnt fucking connect what i was saying from one paragraph to the next when i was the one doing the fucking writing.#what the fuck am i doing here? and again. im not stupid. i can follow the information if its fucking said out loud but thats not how this#works. and it just feels like sometimes there's a limit to what you're capable of and im at that fucking limit. the undergrads in my lab#have more ability to comment on papers than i do. its so fucking frustrating and i just have to live with knowing itll never get any easier#so what the fuck can i do other than drop out? theres no god damn way im gonna pass a comprehensive exam. not unless i buckel down and break#myself in half to try to retain all the information i need to. which requires that i read so many god damn papers that i cant fucking read.#just. why tf did i pick a career path where my suffering is inherent to a huge part of my job? i feel like ive consistently chosen to take#the hard path in life and ive finally stumbled too far from what is possible for me#so well see what comes out of my mouth tomorrow when i have my weekly meeting. i just feel like its my last semester#i feel like this is it. i just need someone to fucking hire me. bc everytime my lab mate mentions something abt#my project down the line or talks abt future conferences i should attend. im just like. its a nice idea but that's not happening. im just#at the end of the line and it sucks#unrelated
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In the process of sculpting the Fourth Doctor for my Portfolio Dev IV course...
Tom's cheek bones are through the roof, waaay up there.
#excuse me sir why is your face so complicated?#Tom Baker#doctor who#fourth doctor#very challenging...#game art#character artist#3d art#he was kinda twiggy in Robot? like Im scrubbing through the episodes for references and dang#but then i go forward into Face of Evil and he has chubbier cheeks#so it is a little challenging finding consistent references haha#pray for me that this doesnt suck
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in all my (like three) years of being trans never once have I corrected someone when they misgender me. apart from today
#i mean ive only been out and about as oscar in public for a bit over one year#and i pass consistently enough to where it hasn't affected me too deeply so o#so i js let it slide and ignore it if a customer or family member says she#i mean family i've been out to for longer than a year and i would just look uncomfortably at them til they realised or we moved on#bc confrontation fucking sucks idk it does feel awful but i just haven't ever said anything#but anyway today at work i finally did 💪 was not even very direct it came up naturally#a woman and her kid came up to me at work and the kid said 'that's not a lady' about me and the woman#started to say 'oh she just has short hair' then i said 'uh no im not....' and even at the first uh her face dropped 😭#which means my voice does pass 💪 then she apologized and i just laughed a bit bc it is funny#now that im fully oscar and stealth at school misgendering doesn't affect me too badly#bc ill never see those customers again and majority of everyone gets it right so yea#oscar.exe
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disability broke me, doubt I can make it tomorrow. fashionably late just like may was
#trying not to cry#I know I suck at being consistent w art but it really really sucks to want to make it on this day SO badly this year & I fail like always#I wanted different face position for May so badly but I couldn’t do it :(#sucks to be disabled & shit w art#I had whole idea too. I know it’s just one day but it’s THEIR day :(
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excalibur while jack perry is actively being boo’d: he earned the title!
#tal.png#fd lb#ok 😭#after that match i don’t think they know if jack is a face or a heel#like not because he’s a tweener but the commentary is just neutral on him? in a strange way#i am pulling for this storyline to get consistent bc listening to takeshita#be cheered for nearly getting the title was Painful 🫥#cmon just get it together either Jack really sucks and the commentary also needs to treat him like a heel#or he’s not !! pick one#MY FRUSTRATIONS ARE ALWAYS THAT I THINK JACK COULD BE BOOKED BETTER THAN THIS.
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Episode 237: The Nanki-Shirahama Mystery Tour (Part 2)
Maki-san set up an alibi with Kanako in order to murder Madoka Madonna, but Madoka was meeting up with Computer Geek, so instead, alibi imposter, Kanako murdered Maki-san.
Best Quotes:
Random Kid: “Just once more, let me go on the adventure coaster!”
His Mother: “Only if you promise to study when we get home.”
Kid: “Yes, I promise!”
Mother: “But remember, it’s the last time.”
(Lightning bolt flash) Conan: “I see. I understand now. I have the solution to the mystery.”
Conan: “I’m sure that’s the killer, but I’ve got no proof.”
The Mother: “Oh, come on. How can it be so hot at a time like this? (Takes a sip of her juice)
Conan: “I see. That’s how it was done! I’ve found the definitive proof.”
#dcmk#dtccompendium#case closed#Detective Conan#Episode 237#Naki-Shirahama Mystery Tour#Okay... So this post has been waiting a year to get posted#Sorry we once again dropped off the face of the planey#We have more episodes watched and written but life has been really really hectic and its hard to be consistent about posting#Also we lost a contributor and key watcher on account of them having to move to a new state for job training#But I promise we will try not to leave another year long pause in the middle of a two parter#But also...isnt that just what the anime does??#All the time#Leave you hanging on the edge of a cliff for about 27 years while you wait for it to get back to the point?#Anyway#we still love detective conan#We still plan on watching every episode#We just suck#<3 <3 <3
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i had a dream that i made little cards that say "THEY!" on them that i handed out to people at work who got my pronouns wrong, immediately after they got it wrong. and in smaller text (or on the back) it said "i don't want an apology, i want you to do better" or "don't say you're sorry, DO BETTER" and ..... i kind of want to do it. maybe i'll get some moo cards made lmao
various scenarios included:
me slamming it down on a desk in front of them.
instead i had stickers, would slowly peel one off while they watched, and stick it on it on them.
handing out a quarter sheet piece of paper based on the 'i caught being good' tags we'd get in kindergarten which said 'i got caught misgendering hallie/my coworker'. it would have their name and date on it and a giant 🙁 face. i had them as a pad of paper and would hold up a finger to say 'wait a second', dramatically pull it out of my back pocket, take my pen out of another pocket, slowly fill it out in front of them, and hand it to them while staring them in the eyes.
getting a whiteboard for the outer side of my cubicle wall that said '[days] since i was misgendred' (with a bonus by saying 'last offender: [name]'
i also dreamt that i got into trouble for it because i was making people feel bad and was 'creating a hostile work environment'. i was just like.... okay and how do you think i feel? and my boss shut up real fuckin quick. dunno if that would be the case irl but if that does happen i can only dream.
#tired of the people who say 'i'm trying but i'm going to make mistakes'#ok sure i definitely mess up sometimes too but when it's not even close to 50/50 let alone merely uncommon ............. fuck you#what's sad is it's all people i like and it hurts so much#in the dream it the cards also said something about how i'm not a girl. not a lady. not a woman. stop saying that word to me ...#... in plural when i'm with female coworkers. about half the time i say 'not a lady' and only about half the time it's acknowleged#or that one who constantly posts female-empowering images on ig which are alienating bc it's clearly very binary#and getting comments like 'well it applies to you to!!!' why bc i have a pussy? fuck off#and she'll sometimes say 'thank you for your patience' (what patience) or 'have patience with me' (no.)#i've also thought of holding up my name tag in their faces bc my previous boss had it specially made for me#it's got my name position and pronouns#same boss tho..... he was REALLY consistent about using my pronouns but one day used she/her three times in a row before eventually...#... correcting himself and the next day i told him that really sucked especially from him and he later told me i should have been nicer...#... about it. i was PISSED. i said 'well then how should i have said it?' i don't even remember his answer i just know i wanted to go...#... off on him SO BADLY bc he said it 'hurt his feelings'. well too fucking bad bc every time i'm misgendered it makes me want to...#...die inside a little and feels like at the very least a tiny punch to the gut but that felt like being stabbed esp since it was a new hir#he also said 'ok but i corrected myself' yeah AT THE END after doing it THREE TIMES and that's not the point here#anyway lol this dream definitely stirred up shit unfortunately but i'm serious when i say i might actually have these made#like both my internal email and external emails have my pronouns in them (i had to campaign for this btw so thank you me)#but i recently added my own custom signature with 'they/them' in it that has a link about using pronouns correctly#me#lgbtq#nonbinary
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07.30.23 Time for my biannual drawing of these two lovebirds- Mauve and Eugene
#sketch#Mauve and Eugene#my OCs#I was joking but when I checked my tag literally the last time posted art of them was January#the problem is 1 I have difficulty drawing human faces#2 I suck at drawing consistently so if it doesn’t look like what I previously made I just don’t bother#but sometimes things click#couple drawings
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homestuck fans when theres no rhyme or reason to the trickster designs and its literally just a jumbled mess of hideous colors and vague candy themes which means theres no consistency to analyze to help with making fan designs
#now imagine if you will a very distraught face. because i cant be bothered adding an image#ANYWAYSSSSSSS i wanted 2 try making one but god its just so hard bc theres so many fucking colors and i suck at coloring anyway#i tried analyzing them to the best of my abilities to see if there was any consistency i could go off of......... but no theres Nothing#the only thing is that their cheek swirls are the same color as their pestechum colors. and thats it#even the outfits are different it seems to be slightly altered versions of their original outfits?#like roxy was wearing her purple knit dress when she got bonked but it was still her original outfit afterwards#their hair colors dont make sense their shoe colors dont make sense their head ornaments make a LITTLE sense..........#jakes and dirks are the most obvious. pumpkin and orange soda its like their thing i guess#janes being a muffin makes sense cuz crockercorp baker etc etc#roxys makes the least sense...... i dont think there was ever any mention of cotton candy for her aside from when caliborn wanted his weird#smut to be color coordinated for whatever reason#whenever i make otufits its usually just varying shades of the same 3 or so colors so trickster designs are a nightmare#even my old trickster mode trollsona was like. 3 colors total LOL#not to mention i wanted to make this design for my trollsona. and we only ever saw humans in trickster mode#and looking at older fanart didnt help cuz everyone had decided unanimously that the canon designs sucked ass (they did)#and in the future we should all give each character a food or somthing similar to base the whole design off of (good decision)#blehh. i give up its too much of a pain-_-#anyway. maybe i really am sick i think i need to lay down#already slept literally all day but im still so tired..........#i took painkillers and allergy meds in case of cat hair on bed but i still feel groggy as fuck#well whatever. itll probably go away soon i never really stay sick for long
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goooooood I miss having friends. being mentally I'll when you're lonely it's 50x worse methinks
#this is the first time I have an ocd breakdown since I cut off my only friend#it feels so much worse when I don't have anyone I trust to just info dump#this sucks. I feel so stupid#I am a 21 year old living alone and I have a job that consists on me protecting the lives of 700 people a day#why am I here losing sleep because my stupid brain has a disease that won't let me stop thinking about a random british actress#that's so STUPID#and the fact that it's not a fandom thing this time and instead it's a completely random person really shows the extend of my disease#when it's a fandom thing I have actual content to consume. I can justify it by saying I'm engaging in a social thing. u know#but now that I'm not really active in any fandoms my brain just chose something completely random!#and it's so hard to justify. it makes me feel even more stupid and crazy like#I DON'T EVEN PERSONALLY CARE ABOUT WHAT I'M OBSESSED WITH!#it's not like I've created a imaginary bond with the person like in the past#it's literally just someone random who's barely famous and I feel absolutely no emotional attachment to#but somehow their face won't leave my brain alone???#ocd is such a stupid ass disease I hate it here#rambles*
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This makes me hopeful, but DO NOT make the mistake of thinking "my vote doesn't matter" or "oh, i don't need to vote because we're safe" or the creeping conservative psyop that "both sides are the same" because Biden has some awful conservative views. yeah, he's not doing enough to stop the genocide in Gaza. and that's horrendous and history will not look on that fondly. but he's also not on the knife edge of nuking Gaza. he's not foaming at the mouth to hand Ukraine to Russia. he's not fearmongering about refugees or trying to reinstate the Muslim Ban that Trump literally signed and would gleefully do again.
This presidential election is entirely about harm reduction. Nobody loves voting for "the lesser of two evils" but make no mistake that there IS a lesser and greater evil here. every vote counts. and every voter who stays at home (without filling out a mail in ballot) or "votes their conscience" by picking a third party candidate who unfortunately simply does not stand a chance, is risking the literal end of American democracy (not to mention the catastrophic effects that would have globally).
If you have enough moral fiber to not want to support Biden, what you can do instead of throwing away your vote is to begrudgingly vote for Biden to stop the worst case scenario and then GET INVOLVED IN YOUR LOCAL COMMUNITY. Organize protests. Donate to reputable organizations helping Palestinians in Gaza. Run for office! I offhandedly replied to a text message two months ago about potentially being interested in getting involved in a local office and people will not stop asking me if I want materials, documentation, help and guidance on how to run for a local political position. You CAN run for local office. You CAN organize protests and make your voice heard. You CAN advocate for and create real change from the bottom up. And that starts with preserving democracy as best we can at the top and making ripples that turn into waves from the ground level.
Stay hopeful, stay smart, don't fall for voter apathy psyops, and BE the change you want to see in your community
“Trump can’t win the general election with 78% of the Republican vote. In 2020, Trump got 94% of the Republican vote and lost. The country would be well served if most of the Haley voters either voted for Biden, voted third party, stayed home or wrote somebody in for president. They don’t have to vote for Biden to thwart Trump. Even Fox “News” has admitted that Trump can’t win without Haley’s supporters. Another symptom of Trump fatigue is that Mike Pence has declined to endorse his candidacy. This is huge news. What if Al Gore had refused to endorse Biden? In addition, 41 out of 44 Trump cabinet members have declined to endorse him. These are the people who know Trump best. This gives millions of Republicans a permission slip to not vote for Trump in November.”
—
Republicans In Disarray - Why Trump Won’t Win
I don’t believe we can take a single moment’s rest until he is vanquished, and I’m terrified he will find a way to successfully execute the coup this time, but this writer has some good observations that can help keep us focused.
#i know Wil was not advocating for apathy here - just the opposite - but this is the one thing I try to consistently add to posts on here#even if no one sees it or bothers reading it#this shit is IMPORTANT#your voice MATTERS and the worst thing you can do is waste it#cutting off your nose to spite your face helps no one and Biden sucks but has still made impactful positive changes#and you know what happens if we keep the white house blue? it shows politicians that there ARE limits to how far right they can go#and then you vote for more left leaning democrats in your local and state elections#and it shows the same thing!#and you keep doing that#you write letters and make phone calls and go protest and explain to your friends and family why they should care too#THAT is how you make a difference#letting a wannabe dictator get a real shot at ending democracy because you don't want to be “complicit” IS complicit on an even worse scale#okay rant over#politics
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