#I still have to figure her out properly but I think she and Shin would create comedic duo worth mini cd drama situations

[justtasia]

You guys seems to have so much fun writing about your OC's that I want to pull my three girls out of the closet 🫣

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN ー Carla Ecstasy [07]

ー The scene starts in the saloon at Banmaden

Yui: Well then, I’m entrusting you with this letter. Please deliver it to the Vibora troops.

Familiar: Yes, as you wish.

Shin: They’re planning an attack against us. Be careful that you don’t get taken out.

Familiar: I shall be plenty cautious. 

Shin: ...Nii-san. Anything you want to say to our Familiar?

Carla: No. ...Get going already.

Familiar: Yes. I shall get going then.

*Woosh*

Yui: ( Now our proposal to form an alliance should reach the Vibora. )

Carla: ...

Shin: ...You can be such a child at times, Nii-san. Did you really have to take out your frustrations on the Familiar?

Carla: I did not do such a thing.

Shin: ...Seems like you no longer care about acting like a proper King when Yui is involved.

Carla: Of course. There is no other woman out there who could fulfill her duty of giving birth to a Founder child.

Therefore she shall receive a special treatment. It only makes sense.

Shin: I mean, you’re not wrong. ...But is that truly the only reason? 

Carla: What are you alluding to, Shin? 

Shin: Whoops. I better step back before I get snapped at even more...

*Knock knock*

Shin: Oh. Someone’s here. 

ー Kino enters the room

Shin: ーー Kino.

Kino: I spotted one of your Familiars earlier. They’re on their way to ask the Vibora for an alliance, right?

Carla: ...Yes.

Kino: Okay! Then we won’t have to fight them, right? So, what will you do next?

I heard that the Vibora Clan had already made plans to attack the Vampire Clan after they were done with Banmaden, you see?

Yui: The Vampire Clan...

Kino: Hm? ーー Ah, right. You lived together with those guys before, didn’t you?

I guess you can’t help but get worried when finding out that they’re be targeted next?

Yui: ...

Kino: Aha! I get where you’re coming from, but you can’t pretend to be buddy-buddy with them forever.

Better make quick work of those Vampires, or they could cause a lot of trouble down the line. Right, Carla?

Carla: ...You do make a valid point.

Yui: ( ... )

Shin: Shuu is their current King, right?

Carla: Yes. Exactly. 

Yui: ( Shuu-san is the King... )

Kino: He only just succeeded the house. However.

If he gets to the same level as Karlheinz, nobody will be able to stop him, you know?

In short, if you want to rewrite the Demon World’s hierarchy, now’s the only time. It’s a prime opportunity. 

So, you know? Don’t you think you should make your next move soon?

Carla: I do not need you to tell me that. I have already decided what I should do.

Kino: Ah, is that so? So we can leave that up to you?

Carla: Of course.

Kino: Roger! I’m counting on you then.

ー Kino leaves

*Thud* 

Yui: ...

ー The scene shifts to Yui’s room

Yui: ...Haah.

( I can’t get the thing Kino-kun said out of my head... )

( I should have known that if Carla-san wishes to reign over the Demon World, he would have to fight the Vampire Clan as well. )

( Apparently Shuu-san inherited the throne but...I wonder how the others are doing? )

( If possible, I don’t want them to fight butーー )

ー Somebody enters her room

*Creaaak* 

Yui: ...!

*Thud*

Yui: Carla-san...Why the sudden visit?

Carla: What were you thinking about?

Yui: Eh...?

Carla: You’ve been lost in thought ever since Kino visited earlier, no?

Yui: ( ...Carla-san sees right through me. )

( But... )

Selection

→ Deny it

Yui: No, that’s not true. 

Carla: ーー Is that the truth?

Yui: Ugh...

Carla: Can you say that one more time while looking me straight into the eyes?

Yui: ...

( There’s no way I could ever deceive him. I wonder why I said the opposite of what I actually think? )

→ Fail to answer (❦)

Yui: ...

Carla: You cannot answer my question?

Yui: ...I figured there is no reason to.

Carla: Excuse me...?

Yui: I realize that I simply cannot keep secrets from you.

Carla: ...

Carla: Those Vampires are on your mind, correct? 

Yui: ...Yes.

Carla: You still cannot forget about them? 

Yui: ...

( I doubt I could properly explain my relationship with them. )

...I’m sorry.

Carla: So you have chosen to apologize. Do you realize that apologies only prove that one is aware of their own crimes? 

Yui: ...

( What I feel for those Vampires is completely different from my love for Carla-san, butーー )

Carla: Hmph. ...I can tell this weighs down heavy on you.

In that case, all I have to do is make you forget. 

ー He steps closer and embraces her

*Rustle rustle* 

Yui: Eh...?

( N-No...! )

Carla: Whether it is affection or pain, I shall grant your every wishーー

ー Carla shivers before stepping back

Carla: ...!!

ー He collapses

*Thud* 

Yui: ...!! What’s wrong, Carla-san!? Carla-sanーー!!!!

Monologue

It seems that as the next step in their plan,

the Vibora are thinking of launching an attack on the Vampire Clan. 

Then with our intentions of forming an alliance with them,

will we have to go down that same path as well...?

A war against the Vampires. 

When I think of that,

I felt my heart sink. 

Carla-san can urge me to forget about them all he wants,

it is not actually that easy.

However, I had other things to worry about right now.

Carla-san had suddenly lost conscious and collapsed (崩れ落ちた) on the floor. 

Endzeit is a terminal illness. 

Could it be,

has that time (その時) finally come...? 

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

[silverhallow]

🎭Fortunes Fool🎭

Chapter 3: “My bounty is as boundless as the sea, My love as deep; the more I give to thee, The more I have, for both are infinite.”

⭐️Masterlist⭐️

Prev | Next

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x Sophie Beckett

Chapter summary: Romeo gets a first experience to remember

Warnings: Loss of Virginity ahoy

Word count: 3675

Benedict didn't see Sophie over the weekend, not once. As far as weekends go, it was hell. Suddenly, from feeling on top of the world, he felt as low as low could be. Had she had second thoughts? Had Kate talked her out of seeing him?

He didn't have her phone number and he realised just how stupid he was. He simply hadn't remembered to ask for it. She hadn't asked for his, either. At the time, he probably figured he'd see her in class on Monday, and at the first dress rehearsal that evening, but what if he had lost her?

He could have gone round to her house, but what if she didn't want to see him? What if Kate was there? He couldn't handle that. What if Kate was there, and Sophie hadn't told her yet? What if her Dad was there? Nope. He couldn’t go. He would ruin things.

So he kept away from her that weekend, but it was difficult. He was so nervous, he felt sick. His mother even got worried about him, he wasn't eating properly. Anthony just teased he was love sick. Benedict kicked him in the shins as he dodged his mothers questions about the school play and where he had been really going these last few nights.

After the feelings Sophie had given him, to lose it now would be very painful. Yet the relationship was still in that fragile, unstable time before it settled down into a permanent fixture.

So he went down to the river with his scull boat, as he just wanted to sit on the water, thinking. Worrying. He went with Anthony to see a movie, and could not follow the plot.

Monday came and he was thrilled to be back at school, desperate to see her again but she wasn't in class.

What was going on?

Benedict went to the dress rehearsals feeling beside himself with worry. It was not a full dress rehearsal, they were doing a few scenes this evening, a few the next evening and a few the next. Then the full dress rehearsal would be the night after, before the actual performances started up.

Benedict wasn't in the scenes on that Monday, which was good, since he was pretty sure he would have been awful. So he sat in the audience with the other cast members not needed that night, watching.

He saw Kate sitting on her own over the other side of the hall, that had to mean Sophie was here tonight, she'd be on stage. Of course she would be, they were doing her scenes tonight.

The scenes were going well, and then there she was, perfection personified. She was wearing a fairly plain white dress, which seemed slightly transparent in that old-fashioned kind of way. Like some kind of fancy night-dress. Sophie made it look good, though, and with all those bright lights on her she looked like an angel.

But with the auditorium bathed in darkness and the bright stage lights on her, there was no way she was going to see him in the audience. What could he do? To go up to her at the end would be pretty obvious, and if Kate saw it could cause trouble.

So the sickening feeling inside him continued: he felt helpless. Tomorrow, he would be involved in the scenes, but she wouldn't. It wasn't until Wednesday night that she would be up on stage with him.

What if it was too late by then? What if she was testing him, if she was testing him over the weekend, to see if he would call her? And he'd failed...

He was so deep in thought, he hardly noticed when the rehearsal came to a close and the lights went up. He was sitting there, like a lemon. Realising the lights had gone up, he looked across to see that the stage was empty and Kate had gone from where she was sitting.

He just sat there for a few moments, feeling dreadful again. His heart had lifted seeing her on stage like that, but now Kate had probably taken her away from him again, never to be seen again. Perhaps it had been a mistake to allow himself to be led into the whole thing like that, but how could you turn down Sophie Beckett? No guy in any school in England would turn down a girl like Sophie Beckett.

It was getting late. He pulled himself up to his feet and began to wander out along the row of seats towards the exit. Might as well go home, put his feet up, withdraw and face the fact that fate had played a cruel trick on him.

"Hey!"

The voice behind him startled him. 

Damn it, Anthony always got cheap thrills from creeping up on people. But turning around to see who it was as he realised the voice was too high for Anthony.

"Hey, geek."

It was Kate.

"Uh... hi Kate," he said, uncertain of what to do or say. Had she come to gloat? You lose, loser.

"Are you just going to leave?" she asked him, looking annoying but not giving him any easy answers.

"Uh... well..." he fumbled.

"She's waiting for you, you know," Kate's voice seemed somehow softer, more tender. Like she wasn't angry at him any more.

"Uh..." he said looking confused.

"Aren't you gonna walk her home?" Kate asked, and then for some reason decided she had made him suffer enough. "Sophie told me everything," she explained, and even smiled at him!

"I'm sorry," Benedict said earnestly, realising it couldn't be easy for Kate to see her lifelong best friend fall for someone from the wrong side of the school social class .

"Don't be sorry," she said, "Just don't hurt her like that jerk John did. Don’t cheat on her like Mark did… Sophie’s been through enough. So just… please don’t hurt her…” Kate said “she had a hell of a time with her ex step mother so her self-esteem isn’t great despite outward appearances so just… don’t hurt her”

“I’ve got no intentions of hurting her. I really like her Kate, I promise” Benedict said honestly “and anyone who cheated on her is a small cocked idiot”

“Good, now remember what I said, otherwise I'll come after you with an axe." Kate grinned menacingly but at the same time in a friendly sort of way which unnerved him and made him believe every word of what she had said.

"Right," he nodded, feeling his heartbeat quicken and his breathing grow heavier. Sophie wanted to see him and She hadn't been talked out of it and wanted to see him! He asked: "Wait…Where is she?"

"In the dressing room, getting changed," she said casually.

"Ah, uh... okay, I'll wait," he said meekly.

"No, go in, you loser!" Kate laughed with a smile on her face as she rolled her eyes. "God, you're such a geek!"

He grinned bashfully at the brunette, he wasn’t able to argue with that, and walked past her towards the female dressing room. Damn . Turning, he saw that Kate had gone already. Did Sophie really want him to go into the female dressing room? What if there were other girls in there getting changed?

He caught his breath. She wanted him to go in there: it was like official acknowledgement that they were an item. He had known that she hadn’t let John into the changing rooms when they had been doing rehearsals previously… and the fact she wanted him to come whilst she was changing… blew his mind and made his heart beat double quick time in his chest.

His heart in his throat, he pushed open the door and slipped inside the dressing room.

She was sitting there in only her underwear, fairly simple bra and panties of soft white cotton with what looked like strawberries on them. Kind of girlish, they looked incredibly sexy on her, but then, anything looked sexy on her. He was sure granny pants would no doubt look sexy on her.

"Hi!" she beamed as he entered the room.

"Hi."

She stood up, and walked over, placing her arms over Benedict's shoulders and pulling him in for a slow, lingering kiss. 

God, he was like a walking erection already. It was so sweet, she was so gorgeous. His hands came down to her beautifully sculpted behind, squeezing her to him as they kissed.

"Enjoy the show?" she asked as the kiss came to an end at last.

"The show you've just given me, or your scenes on stage?" he asked, making her smile.

She kissed him again briefly, and said: "I'll show you more if you come home with me."

"Mmm... that would be nice," he said.

On the way back to Sophie's house, the atmosphere between them seemed somehow different. He couldn't really explain it. Sophie seemed somehow less guarded with him, more relaxed, more confident. Had her talk with Kate given her reassurance that this was the right thing to do? Maybe that was it. Maybe it was the fact that they had been seriously intimate with each other now, and their relationship had stepped up a gear, she had even taken his hand as they walked. 

Maybe it was just him, though, not really having been in a relationship like this before. Not a sexual one. Honestly he felt on top of the world.

"So you talked to Kate?" he finally asked her as they walked up her driveway.

"Yeah," she said as she let go of his hand to unlock the door, "It's hard for her: you have to realise, us two are like sisters. Boyfriends have never been important to us, they've never come between us before. I guess both of us sort of kept our distance from that sort of thing, the guys we went out with, we didn't really ever connect with, emotionally, sexually or even intellectually so they were never an issue"

She looked at him, his hand, in hers, giving it a squeeze. "It's different with you, though."

He smiled, but looked confused.

"I never felt like this before," she explained. "And I don't think Kate's ever felt like this. The two of us never used to go anywhere or do anything without each other. And I guess it'll still be that way, but now I have you, too. So I think that it just complicates matters."

"What did she say?" he asked her, interested in how they’ve managed to sort this out.

"Well, she was pissed with me at first, more, I think, because I kept it a secret from her and I've never kept secrets from her before… But then she said she'd seen a change in me, she saw that for some reason I'm really happy right now and she’s just worried because of boys in the past."

“She sort of told me,” Benedict said, not wanting to keep secrets from her.

“I thought she might. She’s really the closest thing I’ve got to a sister so having her approve of you means a lot and she sees that you make me happy and that is the main thing,” Sophie squeezed his hand and smiled at him again. She said: "But she still thinks you're a geek!"

"Ah well," he grinned. "Some things will never change."

"She'll see you in a different light some day."

But as they entered Sophie's house, his sweet girl seemed to tremble. It occurred to Benedict that she was as nervous as he was. What was it? Were they going to take the next step? She had already allowed him the most intimate contact without going all the way. Benedict shivered a little, too, in anticipation and hope.

Then they were upstairs again, the door of her bedroom closed, and they were kissing and clumsily pulling each other's clothes off. Benedict left her standing in her little strawberry panties, not yet certain she wanted to be completely naked in front of him. But Sophie pulled down Benedict's boxers, leaving him completely exposed before her, his cock standing up rock hard.

"Mmm..." she purred, her soft hands sweeping around his shaft. "I think we should give you a little release tonight, you deserve it after being so good to me…”

It felt kind of dirty being there naked in front of this exquisite creature. But it was so good, she made him feel as though his insides were on fire. She kissed him, and he was about to touch her perky breasts when she suddenly dropped down in front of him. Then he nearly collapsed, as he felt his cock enveloped by the most incredible heat and wetness. It was sensational, Sophie had taken his cock in her mouth, and was calmly sucking while cupping his balls. She was magnificent, he'd never felt anything like it.

And after what he'd been through in the last week, all the memories and sensations of pleasing her, he wasn't going to last long with her velvety mouth wrapped around his cock like that, squeezing it, massaging it, playing with it, exploring its shape with those sensual fingers.

But Sophie seemed to have realised that, for just at the right moment, she stopped and stood up, pulling him towards the bed. His hands moved to her perfect breasts as she kissed his mouth, coaxing them, pinching her erect nipples. He still felt a little strange being naked with her, never having been naked with anyone before. But her appreciative noises as her fingers continued to explore his cock gave him confidence, he wasn't disappointing for her, thank goodness.

He was touching her breasts, and though she seemed to like it, after a while she smiled at him and calmly removed one of his hands, pushing it down to languish between her legs. It was clear what she wanted, and Benedict was only too willing to do as she wished. Her cotton panties were already damp, and judging her mood, he didn't delay too long before slipping a finger inside the slippery folds of her pussy.

"Oh God," she moaned, saying breathily: "I've been waiting all weekend for this."

"Me too," he said while kissing her delicate neck, his finger stirring inside her tight, hot walls, already so slick with her juices.

She paused, her hands leaving his cock, much to his disappointment, but moving to slide her panties down her thighs so that she was naked, too. Benedict felt his heart flutter: he was in bed with Sophie Beckett, and she didn't have a stitch on! He could see the patch of dark public hair between her legs, he felt so incredibly fortunate.

Without her underwear in the way, his hand had more freedom to explore her pussy, to seek out her clit. She responded well to that, her moans containing more than a hint of surprise that someone as new to this as Benedict seemed so tuned to her needs.

Taking her stiff nipples into his hot mouth, he touched her clit with a thumb as he slid his longest finger inside her pussy. Sophie was writhing on the bed as he caressed her inside her sensitive pussy, until she came quite forcefully and vocally.

He thought that would be that, after her climax, but before she'd even got her breath back, she said to him: "Make love to me, Benedict… please."

Wow, this was the ultimate boundary as far as Benedict was concerned. Was she really asking him to do what he thought she was? His hesitation clear, she clarified: "I want you to fuck me."

Sophie looked into his eyes with burning lust. Fireworks seemed to be exploding inside Benedict, he couldn't believe his good fortune. But though he wanted it, he wanted it more than anything, he felt uncertain, he didn't really know the protocol. He knew the theory, but not the practice. He was paranoid he would get it wrong somehow, humiliating himself, angering Sophie.

"I've never... never done it before." he said looking a little nervous, he knew honestly was the best policy here.

Sophie smiled warmly and brightly, perhaps happy that his hesitation was from virginity, not because he had any doubts about being with her. 

She slipped one of her legs over one of Benedict's, and affectionately caressed his hardness, smiling all the time now, as she said softly, "Don’t worry I'll take care of you."

She kissed his mouth again for a while as she played with his cock, seeming almost to calm him down, get him relaxed. Then she withdrew, and despite his previous relaxation, Benedict found his heart beat soaring again. 

Was this really it? Was he really about to lose his virginity with the woman of his dreams? 

For a while, it seemed, he was lying there alone, naked and vulnerable, his cock like a burning stone against his stomach. He remained lying back, looking up, so that he couldn't see what she was doing, where she had gone. But he wasn't thinking about where she was gone. He was thinking about losing his virginity, still incredulous that it was to be with Sophie Beckett.

Then he felt her hands, and a sudden intense heat enveloped his cock. More than a little surprised at this, he looked down to see her taking his shaft inside her mouth again. This time, though, she was using her mouth to roll a condom onto him. He felt his eyes roll back in his head at the feeling of her lips around his cock again.

She straddled him looking so ethereally beautiful, her nipples erect, her pink pussy lips glistening and she guided his hard shaft to the entrance of her hot pussy. He could hardly believe it, his cock was about to be inside the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. She smiled, and the head of his cock slipped past her labia. Benedict held his breath as he watched.

Sophie paused, looking at him with burning desire in her eyes, maintaining eye contact she sank down, his hardness filling her, and even with the latex sheath between them it was incredible, the tightness, the amazing heat closed around his cock, intense, wonderful. He was inside her, no longer a virgin, granted such a sensational gift by this exquisite beauty. He had never felt something wonderful in his life.

Softly, she said: "How does it feel?" There was a knowing look there, she was his first and seemed to gain a thrill from that, loving that it was her guiding him through this first time.

"Amazing," he said, unable to say much else but this was the most amazing experience of his life..

"You wait," she said a sly smile on her face, and began to slowly gyrate her hips.

She seemed almost to dance upon his cock, sitting up to give him a show, her pert breasts on display, her nipples hard, her fingers running over her own body so sensually. The feelings drawing through his hardness were just incredible, and looking down he wondered at her slender thighs parted over him, her dark pubic hair, her pussy sinking and then rising on his latex-covered shaft. The visual imagery was almost too much.

Somehow, he didn't explode right away. It was a miracle, really, considering the sensory overload she was putting him through. But it was so wonderful, he didn't want it to end, so he held on and held on, never wanting it to stop.

She was touching her breasts as she moved on his cock, coaxing her supple curves, rolling her nipples in her fingers, looking into his eyes as she milked his thick shaft with her tight pussy, biting her lip, both of us moaning now. He reached up to touch her breasts himself, and as the rhythm between them intensified, she leaned forward to kiss his mouth before whispering into his ear gently: "You feel incredible inside me."

Her words almost made him erupt inside her, but somehow managed to hold onto it again. But now it seemed that she couldn't hold onto it, he recognised the signs of her approaching orgasm now, and soon enough she was getting there again. Locked together with Sophie on top, the two of them seemed to be trying to push themselves together, to achieve as much contact as was humanly possible. Their lips were crushed together, her breasts pushed against his chest and as he ground his cock within her, he placed his hands on her smooth behind to pull himself as far into her as possible to maximise the sensations of his cock moving inside her exquisite pussy.

Sophie was shaking and almost crying by the time she hit the peak of her climax, and if she was feeling anything like the sensations Benedict was feeling, he could understand why. As she yelped and shuddered, her pussy tightening around his shaft, he let himself go, allowing his burning seed to burst forth inside her.

They lay there for a while in silence, breathless, exhausted. She remained on top of him, her head on his shoulder, one hand affectionately stroking his cheek while he reciprocated with a hand running through her silky hair.

"No one ever gave me an orgasm before," she said after a while, breaking the silence. "Not before you came along. Sex has never felt like this. It was almost just… magical"

He didn't know what to say. He was shattered, speechless.

"How was it for you?” she asked him.

He kissed her, "It was the most amazing experience of my life."

She grinned broadly at that, her freshly flushed complexion full of contentment. "I'm going on the pill," she said, "I want to feel your beautiful cock inside me without anything in the way."

Benedict felt that warm feeling of excitement stirring inside him again: there would be plenty of boundaries left to explore with Sophie and he was pretty sure he was falling in love with this incredible woman

[raphael-simp]

Two Years Ago - Raph x Reader

You never liked talking much.

Never really knew why, you just didn't. Of course, you would still carry a conversation to be polite, but the answers were short and spoken barely above a whisper. There were many times where you tried to change this about yourself, but the attempt didn't last for more than five minutes before you shrunk back into yourself again.

Then how the hell were you friends with four, loud and rowdy mutant teenage boys?

You didn't even know the answer to that one.

And to be honest, the memory of how you met the four of them was still slightly hazy. Of course, Donnie told you what had happened to you, but you personally didn't believe it. Why would robot alien beings want to kidnap a random girl walking home from her night shift? It still didn't make sense to you, nearly two whole years after it happened.

You were fourteen going on fifteen when you first met the four.

You worked at the convenience store not even two blocks from your apartment building, and you had switched shifts with your co-worker Abbigail so she could attend a funeral, which meant you now had the night shift.

It wasn't that big of a deal to you; she asked, you agreed, nothing more was said on the matter.

You texted your parents to inform them of the shift change and told them not to wait up for you, which they obviously denied much to your annoyance.

The shift ended at ten o'clock, but you still needed to do till and make sure the money count on the register matched with what you'd counted. That process alone took you about half an hour, so you really didn't leave until ten thirty. You made sure you switched off all the lights and locked all the entrances before you put the store keys in your jacket pocket and began your short walk home.

It was nearing winter, so the weather was beginning to turn cold, and you weren't exactly the best at dealing with temperature drops. You stood tensed as you speed walked towards your apartment building, wanting to get out of the darkness as fast as you could. There was one building near the end of the street that you almost always completely ran past; a run down looking, white parking garage with the paint peeling and chipping everywhere. It creeped you the hell out, mostly because there were always these two guys that stood at the old entrance, their stare boring into your back as you'd run past. Every day you expected them to run after you or shoot at you, but they never did anything.

Until tonight.

When you looked you didn't see them anywhere, and although you thought it would soothe you, it just made you more anxious.

'Where are they...?' You thought to yourself, nervously glancing around, trying to find the two.

Let's just say you didn't have too look far.

A large white van came screeching around the corner, running over the curb and nearly into you before it lurched to a halt. The back doors flew open and three identical looking men filed out and made their way towards you. In fact, they looked like the men that would always watch you at the entrance to the parking garage...

You literally froze. You didn't scream, move or look away until one picked you up and threw you over his shoulder. After that, you screamed absolute bloody murder, praying you'd get the attention of someone- anyone -that could do something to help you. Thankfully, help came rather quickly, just not in the way you thought.

You fought as hard as you could to at least get the man to slightly falter his grip around you; you punched, kicked, pounded- you even bit him, but it hurt you more than him.

You flailed like a fish out of water and kept screaming, even louder if possible as you got carried closer and closer to the back of the van.

Your voice was cut off when you landed harshly on the ground, trying to use your hands to catch yourself but only hurting yourself even more. You were a shaking mess, trying so hard not to cry but suspectingly failing, bursting into tears and sitting down properly, hugging your knees tightly to your chest as you cried into them. You were absolutely terrified out of your skull.

When someone tried to touch you, you screamed again, though it came out more as a strangled cry than anything else. You'd hurt your throat badly from all of your screaming and had no doubt lost your voice because of so.

"Well we can't just leave her crying in the streets, dudes. We gotta do something!"

You heard hushed voices talking a bit in front of you, but didn't bother to look up or fight. You wouldn't do that unless they actually did something, and that was what you were waiting for.

You cried to yourself, waiting to either calm down or for whoever was in front of you to do... whatever.

But they never did anything, they were quiet for the forty five minutes you were crying and calming yourself down.

"You're gonna be okay, alright?"

You slightly looked up from your knees, and honestly at this point, four giant turtles standing in front of you didn't phase you right now.

One of them was kneeling in front of you, it was wearing a tattered red mask and looking directly at you, with electrifying green eyes.

It looked up at one of the others, but you didn't bother to follow his gaze, your eyes were too tired.

"Don, do you need t' look at 'er?"

"I don't see anything major wrong with her, I think it's just shock right now... to be safe I wanna take a look at her, if she'll let us of course."

It looked back at you, the one with the red mask, and you did your best to keep your eyes open and listen to what he had to say. You were just so tired...

"My brother wants t' take a look at 'cha t' make sure ya weren't hurt too bad durin' that whole thing, okay? You alright with that?"

You barely nodded your head and lied it on your knees, involuntarily passing out.

When you woke up after that, you started freaking out and tried to scream, but found you barely had a voice. You were achy and sore all over and you could barely remember why.

Of course, you properly freaked out when you saw the four turtle figures again, but the ones in red and purple- who were the only ones in the room with you at the time- explained everything that had happened.

Donnie had picked up radio chatter that the Kraang were going to abduct another test patient that night, and the turtles rushed to the location that was shared, and ended up there just in time to help you and destroy the Kraang bots.

You hadn't been too badly hurt; bruised arms and shins from pounding on the metal robots, scraped hands, scraped knees, and a possible emotional blackout, to explain why you didn't remember what had happened to you.

You merely nodded along, trying not to stare too much at the two creatures in front of you, who introduced themselves as Raphael and Donatello.

"(Y-Y/N)...." you stuttered out, thinking that they at least deserved to know your name, after all they've done. Your voice was barely above a whisper, so the boys had to listen carefully to hear your name.

Raph and Donnie smiled, glad to hear that you at least trusted them to that extent.

You asked what time it was, and nearly flipped shit when Donatello told you it was almost 1:30 in the morning. Your parents were going to absolutely lose their minds on you! You scrambled to stand up and nearly fell over, thankful that Raphael had caught you.

"I-I need to get h-home." You breathed out, avoiding eye contact and trying to hide your face behind your (H/C) hair, to hide the fact you were red. Why you were red-faced?

You had no clue.

"I'll take ya. There ain't no way in hell you're goin' alone after this." Raphael stated, standing you back up on your own two feet. You would've fought him on it, had you not have agreed with him. If those Kraang guys still wanted you...

you didn't want to be left alone again. So you just nodded and let him walk you out. You didn't see the other two brothers while you walked out, so you assumed they were somewhere else.

Raphael led you around the systems of the sewer and helped you out of the manhole cover, and once out you took a deep breath of fresh air and closed your eyes in an attempt to clear your thoughts.

"I know you've had a rough night doll face, but we should probably get going."

Your eyes snapped open and you felt your face go warm, and instinct brought you to hide your face with your hair and jacket sleeve. You avoided his gaze and just nodded, speed walking to the sidewalk until you realized:

You had no idea where you were.

"Wh-where are we...?" You wheezed out, slightly turning to face Raphael.

"Just a couple blocks from where we found ya. We gotta take the roofs though... can't really walk out in th' street lookin' like I do."

You nearly asked why until it hit you like a brick. Again, you just nodded and climbed up the fire escape after him. You took notice how some of the roofs were pretty far apart, and hoped to God he didn't expect you to jump over them. Thankfully he didn't, and tried to stick to a route that involved just taking a step across. But for those that involved jumping, he just lifted you onto his shell and jumped across before setting you back down again.

Each time he did so he'd ask if you were okay, and you nodded in response hiding your face. And each time, he'd smile and mutter a small "cute," under his breath, which he didn't know you heard.

Once he brought you to where he and his brothers had found you, he told you to lead the way to your apartment, and you pointed him in the right direction. "So," he started, "Kinda wish we coulda met under better circumstances, (Y/N)."

You nodded in response, keeping your gaze down and stepping over a wooden plank. How the hell'd that get there?

"...You're shy, aren't cha?" Raphael asked, and again you nodded. Not only that, it hurt to talk, but he assumed correctly. He chuckled and lightly nudged your shoulder with his.

"Ya don't gotta be 'round me, I don't bite... much."

You looked up at him with both confusion and shock written all over your face, and it just made him laugh.

"Relax (Y/N), I'm kidding... just a little though."

You rolled your eyes, and yet you couldn't help the small smile that danced across your face.

The both of you walked Ina comfortable silence until you saw your apartment building across the street and elbowed Raphael's arm, pointing to it.

"This is my stop." You whispered, not daring to bring your voice above that. He nodded and hoisted you onto his shell, having to go around the roof tops to avoid going down to the streets. He set you down on your apartment roof, once again asking if you were okay.

"I'm fine, Raphael." You responded, pushing your hair behind your ear. He smiled at you and slightly tilted his head.

"Call me Raph, doll face."

You bit the inside of your lip and looked down, nodding your head. You didn't want him to see your warm and red face, it was extremely embarrassing for you.

"Hey," Raph's voice made you slightly look up, since he wanted your attention. He handed you a folded piece of paper with a number scribbled on it- wait, was this his phone number? Was a guy giving you his phone number? To your face?

"You don't gotta, but if ya don't wanna walk home alone again I'm available if ya need it."

You completely lifted your head to look Raph directly in the face, and he took pride in one thing; making you smile like that. You have him a single nod and held the paper with both hands.

"Trust me, I will.. Raph."

Now it was his turn to smile.

The two of you just stood on the roof for a couple minutes, staring and smiling at each other before something on his belt beeped. He jumped a bit in surprise and glanced at it.

"That's my brothers- I gotta go. You'll be okay?" He asked, taking a small step back.

You nodded, putting the paper in your pocket. "I'm home now. Go."

His smile grew and he backed up towards the edge of the roof.

"Try not t' get into trouble doll face! Just save a little to give me an excuse t' save ya again!" He shouted, just before jumping to the roof next to yours and taking off, eventually disappearing.

"I think I like that. Doll face..." you thought to yourself, still smiling like an idiot. You stood on your roof for God knows how long more before you came to your senses and carefully climbed down your fire escape and slid through your window.

.

"Was that really two years ago...?" You thought to yourself, flipping a pen between your fingers.

Yup. It was.

Two years ago these four boys saved your life, and two years ago you met the boy that kinda saved you, in a way.

It took him time, but he got you to slowly expand your comfort zone. You didn't stutter every time you spoke anymore, and you didn't respond with simple gestures anymore and used actual words that really carried a conversation. And at the same time, you helped him.

You kinda found out about his anger the hard way, having him lash out at you when he was beyond pissed off, and though it did hurt, you didn't blame him. In fact, you made it your goal to try and help him with it.

He'd expressed to you before how he'd never liked his short temper, and so you helped him. You showed him ways that he could release stress and repressed emotions, like actually using his drum kit and playing when he got pissed, or just sitting with you and either talking, or just sitting in silence.

Coming up in December would actually be a year since Raph had asked you out, too.

It didn't really come as a surprise to most, since the both of you were pretty open about affection with each other even before you two decided to make it official, just because.

The two of you would always sit close together, hold each other's hand, cuddle each other and he'd even kiss your cheek every now and again. Every movie night, you bet that the two of you would sit or lie with each other, and Raph would play with your hair or lightly trace an invisible pattern on your arm.

All in all, it wasn't really a surprise to Raph's brothers, April or Casey when he'd asked you out. The only person it surprised was you, but even then you'd accepted in a heartbeat.

And to this day, he still calls you doll face.

Two years later, the boy's nearly eighteen and you the same, you've found a new family.

And a new love.

"(Y/N), doll face, cmon we're headin' out with or without ya!" You rolled your eyes and smiled, shoving the pen in your jean pocket and getting up, grabbing your jacket.

"Yeah yeah, I'm coming Raph!" You called, walking out of his room and slipping your arms through your jacket sleeves as you jogged out to the entrance to meet the boys.

About a year ago, after you'd actually learned how to properly, they let you join along on some of their patrols. Raph made you carry a small dagger though. Just in case you got separated and something happened to you.

Speak of the devil, he heard you coming up behind him and turned around smiling. He extended his arm to you, waiting for you to end up at his side before putting his arm around your waist and pulling you close to his side, kissing the top of your head.

"All ready and fashionably late, doll face?"

You scoffed and rolled your eyes, shoving him while failing to hide a smile of your own.

"Shaddup Raph, I was doing important things." You said, zipping your jacket up.

He just chuckled and raised his arms in mock defence.

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry baby." He said, lightly pressing his lips to the side of your head and cheek in chaste kisses. You turned your head at the last second to catch his lips in a quick kiss. While he smiled and put an arm around your shoulders, Mikey mock gaged.

"Yup, think I'm gonna hurl-" he said, making a queasy face. Raph reached out with his free hand and punched his baby brother in the shoulder.

"Oh shut it Mike, not like ya don't see it regularly." Mikey hit Raph's arm back, which quickly escalated into an arm punching war. You tried not to laugh too much, looking over to Leo and Donnie, who were trying to do the same thing.

"Alright alright alright guys, that's enough!" Leo called, laughing a bit to himself.

"We gotta get going before it gets too late, we gotta take (Y/N) home by midnight. Let's move out!"

With those words, the five of you took off running towards your normal exit to the top world.

//////

gUIS IM IN ABSOLUTE L O V E WITH THIS ONE SHOT I LOVED WRITING IT SO GOD DAMNED MUCH AAAAAHHHHHHHH

PS THIS WAS WRITTEN AT LIKE 11 pm - 2:30 am SOOOOOOOOO

[honeyfizzly]

Some ramblings about Ranmaru's character, might get a little long

GOSH I love Ranmaru, he's such an interesting character to me and I (somewhat) relate to him.

I know alot of people point out the comparisons between Joe and Ranmaru- and while I definitely think there's intentionally parraels- Keiji and Ranmaru seem like the actual character foils to me.

Keiji and Ranmaru both are "partners" to Sara (as in working together type partners) and each of them end up "betraying" Sara is a way in their respective chapters.

Keiji ends up basically abandoning Sara when she got the sacrifice card in order to try and get Shin killed during chapter 2.

While ranmaru-no matter what route you're in- will betray Sara in an attempt to fulfill his own selfish wish of being her "savior". He always tazes Sara in the classroom and steals her ID card.

Also a minor detail but both Keiji and Ranmaru have sprites that focus on their hands.

Like Keiji's hands are usually reached out towards the player/Sara. In the beginning of the story, this body language is meant to present him as "shady" and "suspicious".

Meanwhile Ranmaru also has alot of emphasis on his hands as well, but in a different way. Ranmaru is naturally pretty unexpressive so his hands are used as a way to help show his emotions. His hands are also kept at a distance, and never seem to be reaching towards Sara...but that changes in his logic route sprites.

Ranmaru's hands in his "awakened" sprites, have his arms and hands faced towards the player/Sara.

Ranmaru and Keiji both have opposite character arcs as well

Keiji starts off as someone who was driven by negative emotions due to his trauma, which lead him to killing megumi. Keiji throughout the story ends up becoming a more trust worthy partner and mentor of Sara, becoming the logical backbone that she depends on. (Not to say Keiji is perfect however, I still think the stuff he pulled in 2-2 with the sacrifice card was shitty).

Ranmaru starts off as someone who seems logical and is very unexpressive, but throughout the chapter his intense emotions become more clear. The realization that he was a doll, along with seeing Kurumada getting destroyed caused Ranmaru to become more irrational and emotional, and depends on Sara's reactions and decisions to figure out what to do (like whether he should kill everyone or not). Ranmaru seems to use Sara as a justification for his want to survive, which is why he continues with his plan to murder everyone even after Sara told him to forget about what she said.

Thr classroom scene in yttd is so powerful to me, because it shows off both Keiji's and Ranmaru's development. Keiji is able to see clearly that Ranmaru is jealous and acting irrationally. In emotion route, Keiji points out how neither he or Ranmaru can be the one to "save" Sara. Keiji is the logical one in this situation, acknowledging that neither of them are able to properly help Sara.

Meanwhile Ranmaru is acting irrationally in this scene, accusing Keiji of being apart of asunaro. In logic route, Ranmaru fully admits to his jealously and fully believes that he would be save Sara.

Anyhow those are all thoughts that i have right now lmao okay byyyeee

[bloodyselfies]

Ruby moaned and gasped as her bare body was licked and teased, arousal slowly overwhelming any lingering hesitation she had. Then, to her surprise, Selfie offered her a choice. "Um... If I had to choose, I guess... Feet-first?" She wouldn't mind watching herself slowly being devoured.

Selfie nodded, pulling her hands away, licking the wetness from her hand as seductively as she could manage. "In that case... Let's get you on the floor."

Carefully holding and guiding Ruby along until they were both on the floor, Ruby laid out while Selfie knelt above her, Selfie did her best to stay as parallel with Ruby as she could; once in proper position, Selfie leaned down again, licking Ruby's collarbone and starting to drag her body against hers.

She gave Ruby's body a few more licks as she slowly went down. A teasing lick to her breast, another at Ruby's stomach... A few long licks at Ruby's pussy, kissing her clit before moving on, licking the inside of her thigh. Her hands went along with her as well, caressing the side of Ruby's body, ultimately grabbing Ruby's thighs and giving them a few final squeezes before Selfie righted her body some more and moved back further.

Selfie gave the girl another look before pushing her own hair back behind her shoulders, sitting up straight and properly before leaning back in, mouth right above Ruby's feet, though slightly higher up, having placed herself in such a position that she would have been lying on Ruby's shins if she had fully lowered her head down.

"Here goes~ Hope you enjoy your trip... Ah. You can masturbate, if you want. I won't mind!" With those few final, hopefully encouraging, words to the girl, Selfie grabbed Ruby by the ankles and lifted her feet up to her mouth.

Pressing the feet together, she drew them closer and into her mouth, her jaw unhinging with little issue, taking the feet completely into her mouth like it was the most natural thing. She did not lick the feet however, not wanting to make Ruby think she had some weird fetishes, instead simply swallowing along, pushing Ruby's feet to the back of her throat as her lips went over her ankles.

With steady swallows, Selfie pushed Ruby in slightly while further lowering her body, working her way along Ruby's shins, ultimately more or less laying down on the floor as well by the time she started swallowing Ruby's knees, giving her a straight path into her stomach.

She continued, sinking her fingers into Ruby's thighs again as she pushed the girl into her mouth, showing no discomfort even as her mouth was stretched to inhuman proportions, Selfie's eyes still full of lust and focus.

In spite of previous decisions, she did lick her way along Ruby's inner thighs, licking one, then the other, her eyes entirely focused on Ruby's pussy. Her hands worked up higher and higher, grabbing Ruby's ass as she worked her way up.

When her hands reached Ruby's hips, her lips crossing over Ruby's pussy, engulfing her crotch in her mouth, Selfie slowed down slightly, almost as if stuck. She waited there for as long as she could, breathing through her nose and simply swallowing around Ruby, tasting her wetness, letting it fill her mouth even further.

Her mouth was more or less absolutely full of ass and pussy, but she still had the room for Ruby's arousal, of course. Her throat continued to shift as well, massaging Ruby's legs and thighs as she swallowed around them, simply enjoying herself for a bit...

But she couldn't just stop there. When Selfie decided she had had enough, she continued along, swallowing up past Ruby's crotch, showing it into her throat.

It would also be around this point that Ruby's toes would also enter Selfie's stomach, though with Selfie being against the floor, the outline of Ruby's body inside Selfie's own would not really be seen, simply leading to a slightly more... Free feeling, the inside of Selfie's stomach currently having more space for movement than the tightness of her throat.

As soon as Selfie figured she was half-way up Ruby's waist, she moved her hands further up as well, dragging them up Ruby's back before starting to lift. With the additional force of pushing Ruby up, Selfie found it rather easy to lift her own body as well, almost to a fully perfect seiza as that.

It hardly mattered to Selfie though. If Ruby looked and leaned back enough, she could now see the outline her lower body was making against Selfie's own, how her feet were bulging and distorting Selfie's gut.

With gravity further assisting her, Selfie kept a stabilizing hand on Ruby as not to fall any which way, the other hand starting to stroke along the outline of Ruby's body; swallowing further along, bringing Ruby's chest closer and closer.

There was a short moment when Ruby's chest would be low enough, when it would be resting against Selfie's body, when she moved her head one way, then the other, rubbing the tits against her face in pure shamelessness.

With Ruby's legs now inside up to her knees at the very least, the stomach also seemed to have too little space to continue it, forcing Ruby to curl up her legs for space. Selfie's hands reached up, one pressing against each breast, giving the nipples a quick tweak before pressing the tits as flat as they would go against Ruby's body.

Opening her mouth a little further, Selfie took the tits into her mouth as well, her tongue having been dragging itself against Ruby's back, preventing Selfie from actually licking the breasts, though she did do her best to 'close' her mouth nonetheless, not quite biting down on Ruby, but pressing the top of her mouth against the breasts for one last moment of fun.

Unable to do much else with Ruby's chest, Selfie continued to swallow, sending the breasts down into her throat. Though she had mostly focused on the pussy, then the breasts, up until this point, Selfie had little more to look at at this point, allowing her to fully focus on Ruby's face.

With a glint of entertainment in her eyes, Selfie gave Ruby a wink, swallowing at a slightly quicker pace, reaching up and pushing down against Ruby's shoulders, pushing her along until only Ruby's neck and head were peaking out of Selfie's mouth.

Rubbing the bulge Ruby was making in her stomach with both hands, Selfie continued along, swallowing the neck and head as well, savoring the last of Ruby's taste in her mouth before closing her mouth, making the final swallows.

It would only take a few more moments after Selfie closed her mouth for all of Ruby's body to have been sent down into her stomach, the process completely painless just like Selfie promised!

Though she was left breathing a bit heavier than before, catching her breath, a smirk was nonetheless on Selfie's face, not that Ruby could actually see it.

"I hope... That was as good for you as it was for me~" Because she absolutely loved it.

[unnamed-blob]

Obsidian Snare

⇢ Pairing: Dream x reader

⇢ Genre: mild fluff, angst

⇢ Length: Oneshot

⇢ Synopsis: After Dream is locked in the prison, (Y/N) is convinced that’s the last she’ll ever hear of him. A certain visitor at her distant home turns that desperate hope, and her peaceful life, on its head.

AN: I had to get this out before the prison breakout occured

Sam’s hand felt like a chain upon her wrist, the tight grip hardly a comfort to cold, unforgiving metal. Her gaze flitted between the ground and the appendage constantly, casting paranoid glances over her shoulder at times, attempting to catch sight of the comforting wooden walls of her cabin, even when she was all too aware it was hidden by the trees and distance. 

A glint of metal caught in the sunlight and (Y/N) darted her gaze forwards, heart nearly catching in her throat. Her tense shoulders loosened ever so slightly when she noticed it came from the Warden’s trident, though a chill still settled into her spine, more than aware of the resources and strength the male before her held. 

Chains should really quite be the least of her worries at this rate. 

She focused her gaze onto the ground below again, tracing jutting roots and pebbles as they stepped over them. Her gaze slid upwards again, eyeing the edges of the netherite armor clasped on the figure, the helmet thankfully absent for an easier view of his face, likely to appear less daunting when he had suddenly shown up on her doorstep without a prior word. 

In some mild manner, it had helped, though with a longer look at him, (Y/N) realized it was a mere courtesy, an extension of good will. The absence of the piece held no weight of repercussions, the figure much too tall and daunting for someone to even attempt to aim for his unprotected face. 

Not that it’d work anyway, she mused to herself, avoiding the sight of the sharpened and enchanted blade strapped to his side, staving off thoughts and speculations on the items he held in his inventory.

A shiver travelled down her spine at a particular thought and Sam’s hand tightened.

She swallowed past the lump in her throat. 

She regretted opening the door for him. 

- - -

(Y/N) flitted about the kitchen, wincing as the bowls clattered against each other as she dropped them on the counter. She took a moment to organize them unnecessarily, if only to keep her hands busy, before she leaned back and raised her finger to her lips in thought. Her gaze darted about the kitchen, attention catching on the latest chest she’d added to her kitchen, spinning on her heel to stalk across the floor and throw the lid open. 

The contents were the same as before, the ingredients inside not having miraculously disappeared into thin air from the last time she’d checked. Some of the tension bled from the female’s figure at the sight, leaning her weight against the lid as she sighed. Of course, it also meant she couldn’t busy herself with hastily gathering them all last minute again, too occupied physically to allow her thoughts to run rampant. 

(Y/N) dropped the lid unceremoniously, groaning as she stood, finding nothing to nitpick over in the kitchen as she crossed her arms. She untied her hair from the updo she had thrown it into, running her fingers over her scalp as she straightened the strands. 

It was only Niki after all, the kind, pink haired female (Y/N) had never managed to befriend, both occupied with the constant warfare and heavy tension over the lands. Granted, things weren’t pitch perfect in any manner at the moment, but avoiding some mind controlling egg was easier than constantly utilizing supplies during a war. 

(Y/N) winced at the thought of the tense, guarded glances always thrown at her as soon as she’d take a step into the populated SMP city. It’d been part of the reason why she’d taken occupation in the middle of a populated forest, trees stretching for miles as far as one could see. It was daunting at times, chilling even when she’d be awake in the middle of the night and hear the cries and groans of hostile mobs near her walls, aware that any form of help was too far to make an impact in an emergency, and that her body likely wouldn’t be discovered for several months until someone remembered about her or stumbled upon her abode. 

(Y/N) huffed at the dark thoughts swirling in her head. Really now, even when the bastard was dumped into some high security prison, he still managed to hold a tight grip over her life. 

It had been a desperate stab at friendship, approaching Niki with a friendly invitation for baking lessons at her house, wringing her hands nervously despite how much she’d tried to quell her nerves. If the female had noticed, she’d only shaken off her surprised expression, casting a friendly smile instead and asking for the coordinates. 

Truth was, (Y/N) had never had an interest in baking before, opting to delight in the bought goods from Niki’s bakery whenever she could rather than attempt to do it herself. Though if she were going to make an attempt at finally bonding with at least some of the members of the SMP, further than just George and Sapnap, (she ignored the stab in her chest at how distant the three of them had become in the latest months) then she’d make sure to do so properly. Even if Niki weren’t fond of her, or the entire event managed to become an absolute disaster, at the very least Niki would have participated in an activity she was obviously fond of. 

A knock sounded against her door, snapping (Y/N) out of her thoughts as she froze. She was already here? 

She cast another paranoid glance over her kitchen, pausing in her haste to dart to the door as she lingered in the doorway. 

She had everything prepared, right?

Niki wouldn’t despise her just for missing one ingredient, right? 

Of course not, what was she thinking?

(Y/N) inhaled before releasing the stuttering breath, smoothing down her clothes and messing with strands of her hair in an attempt to ensure it looked presentable without a mirror to confirm. She plastered a nervous grin on her face, reaching forwards to clasp her hand around the doorknob and swing the door open. 

“Thanks for coming N-”

The words died in her throat as she met face to face with a glimmering, enchanted netherite chestplate. (Y/N)’s mouth dried as it remained frozen half open, finally willing the courage to raise her gaze to meet eyes with a certain creeper hybrid. 

“(Y/N)” came Sam’s soft greeting, a tense smile lifting at the corners of his lips. He seemed hunched over, his hands empty of any typical hold on a weapon. Though the details hardly had an impact on his threatening image, much less when the mere mention of his occupation would catch her breath in her throat. 

“Sam.” She countered, hands clenching on the smooth doorknob within her palm, grateful for the lack of engraving on it as she was certain it would’ve left an imprint on her palm with her vice grip. 

A voice within her head whispered to call him upon his Warden title instead, though she dismissed it, deciding against angering the male. She certainly wouldn’t be able to take Sam on alone, much less when she was in the middle of the woods with no hope for backup arriving in time. (She ignored the sting that arose from questioning if she had anyone to call upon for backup.)

She shifted further into the safety of her home, discreetly swinging the door ajar, lessening the open space into her home. Sam’s eyes briefly flitted to the wooden object before his gaze met (Y/N)’s, sending a shiver down her spine. 

“How are you, (Y/N)?”

“I’m… well,” she swallowed, ignoring the “I was better before you came” lingering on the tip of her tongue. 

Sam reached a hand upwards to rub at the back of his neck, his eyes scanning the area around the two of them before he dropped his appendage, releasing a barely-there sigh. He straightened, meeting gazes with the female before him again.

(Really, she wished he’d stop doing that. She wouldn’t be surprised if it was meant as an intimidation tactic.) 

“(Y/N), I have a responsibility as the Warden of the server, which I’m certain you’re more than aware of.” Sam paused, (Y/N) stared at him in silence for a moment before realizing his intentions and gave a hurried nod. He continued, “As such, I take every precaution to ensure the protection of the building and that the prisoner remains… inside.” 

(Y/N) didn’t like where this conversation was going.

“Dream asked for y-”

“No!” Sam’s hand caught the door as (Y/N) desperately attempted to swing it shut, lock the male and every word he had said out of her house and head. With a single sentence he had shattered the haven she had finally built for herself, by herself, the pieces too small to rebuild it as before. 

“(Y/N) as the Warden-”

“I don’t care!” She hissed, ignoring the tears gathering in the corners of her eyes, her distraught more than evident in her voice. 

Sam had the decency to slump a tad bit, before he easily shoved the wooden barricade open and grabbed her elbow as (Y/N) flailed, kicking her legs against his shins and trying to plant her feet to the floor. 

“I’m sorry (Y/N).”

- - -

The prison finally loomed over the last remaining barricade of trees, solid and unrelenting, brash against the soft blue sky. (Y/N) stared at it as Sam guided her past roots and bushes, keeping her from walking into a tree. A terrible, cold feeling pooled in her gut and she stopped as the two of them reached the last of the forest, feet stilling with the last tree before the open plain before the prison. The Warden turned to her silently, scanning her over, when no apparent issue came to light, he locked gazes with her, his eyes asking the question without a need to open his mouth. 

Why did you stop?

(Y/N) tried to inhale a deep breathe, but her throat was too tight and it felt as if she wasn’t getting enough. She chocked down a desperate gasp for air as the prison loomed over her, fighting the urge to kneel over and dig her nails in the dirt, hacking for air. At the very least, she’d have the gritty dust on her fingers as a totem of the outside world in such a spotless, manmade build, composed only of unbreaking blocks and choking lava. 

She turned her head over her shoulder towards the breeze as it grounded her, blowing strands of her loose hair out of her face and lifting her hair off her shoulders. The trees rustled, branches swaying towards her as they beckoned her, calling her to her humble abode in the woods, one with the nature surrounding it, with moss and vines already creeping up the sides of the walls. 

She didn’t need to imagine it as it seemed to flicker in the distance, a haven away from an unrelenting prison and the madman trapped inside. She could already hear Niki’s bubbling laughter echo towards her, her own mixing with it as the smell of bread and baked goods wafted through the air. The fox she’d been feeding leftovers to poking curiously nearby, ears flickering towards the open kitchen window. 

The Warden tightened his grip and the house vanished. The trees grew silent and (Y/N) fought his grip once more as he dragged her from the protection of the forest, the breeze giving her no parting touch. (Y/N) tried to bend down, to flop lifelessly on the ground and make him drag her, leave as many touches of the dirt and blades of grass on her as she could but he yanked her upwards easily, leaving her stumbling like a dazed lamb to catch her balance. 

Before she could plead, or scream, or cry, or mourn, they were standing before the entryway, the shadow of Pandora’s Vault chilling her to her bones and chasing any semblance of warmth the sun had left within her. The Warden dragged her through without a hint of struggling, her small body and desperate escape attempts no challenge to the uncountable, heavy-duty blocks he had built the prison with with his own hands. 

The purple sheen of the Nether portal washed over her, the haze of it settling in her vision and body, leaving her dazed eyed and slow, depending on the Warden’s tugging to guide her. She hadn’t used one in months, it wasn’t necessary when she was insistent on leaving no shortcut for others to find her nor having any need for high quality netherite weapons when there were no human threats. She expected for the sight of a too-large reception area to snap her out of her haziness, but the drowsiness stayed within her head, leaving her swaying without constant support and tugging her brain down into ignorant bliss of the surrounding action. 

She didn’t bother to fight it, not as she numbly shook her head when the Warden’s voice drifted over her head, asking if she had any items on her (she was preparing for baking lessons, why would she?), not as she was pulled down identical corridors and softly pushed onto a bed. She curled into a ball on it, shutting her eyes. 

This was just a bad dream, wasn’t it?

What an awful nightmare.

But the hands were back, pulling her upwards and holding her close to the Warden as she passed over a hallway of lava, pulling her down more and more corridors (how many pathways did this place have?), prodding her towards a passageway of water as she blankly stared at it, unable to will her body to the basic motions of swimming (the Warden had to tug her through a hidden doorway, muttering something along the lines of never mentioning it, why?). 

She felt the fog lift as books were constantly pushed into her arms in a steady stream, the words settling into the back of her mind as she signed. She snapped back to attention finally as the Warden admitted that the sole prisoner was behind the fall of lava before her. She whirled her head in his direction, feeling her breath hitch as he stared forwards dutifully. Sam took a deep breath, stepping away from the lever to come closer to her, his gas mask hanging around his neck as his eyes flashed regretfully. 

“For whatever it's worth,” he looked into her eyes as he hovered his hand near her shoulder. “I’m sorry.” 

(Y/N) looked downwards, digging her nails into her arms as she crossed them over her chest, blinking back tears. She didn’t answer, but she allowed Sam to place a comforting hand upon her shoulder and squeeze it. 

“Just for a few hours,” Sam muttered as he pulled away, pulling the lever suddenly as her eyes snapped upwards to watch the lava fall. 

The singular cell floating among the pool of lava came into view, the prisoner not in immediate sight, though it wasn’t hard to notice the telltale flash of bright orange against the far wall as (Y/N) craned her neck upwards. 

“Just enough to calm him down,” Sam finalized, motioning to the moving pathway that sputtered to life under her feet, confidently crossing the chasm of lava bubbling underneath. 

(Y/N) hated it for heartlessly depositing her on obsidian bricks, heading backwards without a single glance or hesitation to take her along. For how Sam stood at the only way in and out and didn’t extend his hand, didn’t give her the option to forget whatever had occurred and let her head back to her carefully constructed life, leave her in peace to mend the tangled and broken strings of her relationships to the other members, torn before she had a chance to form them. 

Sam didn’t leave but the sight of him was blocked out by the lava soon enough, the heat pushing against her face and plastering loose strands of hair to her warming face. 

(Y/N) dug her nails further into her flesh and slowly turned around to face the inside of the cell as the Netherite barrier lowered, leaving her no option but to cautiously step forwards, as if a sleeping predator were trapped in the same space as her. (There was the lava behind her, but she had no doubt the Warden would find her moments after the respawn process, dragging her back kicking and screaming however many times it took.)

Dream lay against the far end of the cell, face turned towards the obsidian wall as he hummed leisurely, tracing unseen patterns in the harsh surface. He didn’t bother to acknowledge her presence as she stood in her place, freezing impossibly still as he flopped onto his back, dramatically yawning with a hand over his mouth. 

“Oh come on Sam,” he chuckled, crossing his arms behind his back, settling into a comfortable position as if he were splayed on a bed for a nap. “I’ve said my terms, and what follows. I’m sure you already know what you have to do, and I’ll comply! Just like that!” He removed a hand to wave it in the air as he spoke, (Y/N)’s eyes following it as if it were a poised weapon. 

“Wouldn’t want your only prisoner to die now, would you?” Dream shrugged casually, placing his arm back into its previous position as (Y/N)’s gaze was drawn to the gathering pile of raw potatoes at the filled water hole. She wasn’t certain how many he received in a day, couldn’t calculate off of that, but she could only assume it had taken days for such a worth to accumulate. 

His chuckle left shivers down her spine, needles stabbing into her back as he continued. “Built an entire, high security prison but couldn’t keep the only prisoner alive. A failed prison if it can’t serve its basic purpose, right?” 

The silence stretched between them uncomfortably as Dream was content to pretend to sleep and (Y/N) didn’t dare move to draw attention to herself. She finally sputtered in a breath, her murmur practically echoing in the confined space as she spoke. 

“I’m not Sam.”

The effect was instantaneous, Dream was sitting upwards, his mask staring at her before she could so much as blink, the moment too long as he made no other motions in the ticking seconds. When she shuffled backwards uncomfortably, it seemed to break him out of his focus. The male was crossing the cell as she opened her mouth, drawing breath into her lungs, ready to scream and yell at him to not come closer to her- 

Dream’s arms wrapped around her, shoving any words she had hoped to say back into her, leaving her struggling to draw in air. 

“You’re here,” he murmured the female detesting how his tall build allowed him to wrap his arms around her back, hands gripping onto her upper arms as he tugged her off her balance. (Y/N) stared upwards at the smiling, blank mask, attempting to keep her balance on awkwardly placed feet, if only not to have to touch him any more than already. 

Dream sighed, the action expelling all of the tension from his body as a hand separated away from her to tug the mask upwards, exposing his entire face rather than just his mouth and chin. He grinned at her, his acidic green eyes seemingly glowing from the lava behind her. (Y/N) stiffened as he gazed down at her, eyes softening into a lovesick look as he studied all of her features, as if convincing himself she were truly here. 

He grinned, dangerously, before yanking her closer, sweeping her completely off kilter as she was pressed against his chest, her arms trapped between the two of them. Despite spending several months within the prison already, his grip was strong enough to give her no room to struggle, pressing tighter as she attempted to wriggle away. She gave up eventually, stilling as Dream gently tugged his fingers through her soft strands, pressing his lips to the top of her head affectionately as his breath disrupted the still strands. 

“I missed you, you know.” He murmured into her scalp, (Y/N) fighting down the urge to stiffen at his words. His voice had slipped into the old, coy, syrupy sweet tone she knew, any unthought words or actions were certain to be snared in his attention, words twisted to poke and prod at her vulnerable parts, backing her into a corner before she relented and allowed him to coo sugar-covered lies into her mind. 

He turned his face to press his cheek against her head, leaving his next words to be heard clearer in the open air. 

“I’ve been so alone in here, why didn’t you ever come visit me?” 

(Y/N) tightened her hands into fists, keeping completely still even as his tighter hold seemed to loosen in favor of skimming his fingertips wherever he could reach on her figure, drifting dangerously close to the exposed skin at the collar of her shirt. 

“I’ve been busy, built a house.” She answered back, the sentence short and containing enough information to not be pointless, tone betraying nothing about her screaming terror and pleas to be anywhere else within her head. 

Dream hummed in response, lifting a section of hair to peer at it. “You must’ve been quite busy then. Your hair’s grown, you know? Shame I don’t have anything to tie it with in prison.” (Y/N) shrugged in response, imagining the bottle’s worth of shampoo she’d have to liberally apply to her locks to erase any history of his contact with it. 

The male huffed dramatically, releasing her hair to draw her closer (as if that was possible) and dropping his head onto her shoulder. “Oh (Y/N),” he whined, the female nearly cringing away at the all too believable tone flowing from his lips, “it's been so dreadfully lonely in prison. You know that no one’s visited me? It's terrible.”

She didn’t know what else to do other than shrug half heartedly, awaiting the drop, the final implication of his words. He turned his head to lower his volume, leaving his words still heard as clear as day from his close position to her ear. 

“You won’t abandon me though darling, will you? You’ll visit me, right? It’s oh so torturous to be alone in here, you know.” 

(Y/N) considered making a quip about how Dream still had Sam, but she decided against it, biting her tongue to prevent any unnecessary sentences that would lead into a further conversation, expertly manipulated in Dream’s honey tone and sweet words. 

“I’d like to,” she replied, pausing for a moment as Dream silently awaited her next words, “but it's uncomfortable like this, isn’t it? I don’t want to come just because you decided to go on some hunger strike.” Dream’s fingers sunk into her flesh, the female wincing as his nails left crescent marks before he loosened from her reaction. 

He chuckled, “Oh come on now, you can’t tell me you’d come properly without it.” he purred, (Y/N) gave a half hearted motion resembling a shrug, pushing her head away from his chest to peer at the corner. 

“I can come regularly, once a week, but it can’t be comfortable to starve yourself every time just to get one visit.”

(Y/N) wasn’t entirely certain if it would work, even in prison, Dream still tugged on the strings connected to her, controlling her actions. But it was this or having Sam drag her back unwillingly, her built haven of safety giving way to constant paranoia and fear of the next time she’d see the flash of netherite armor coming for her. 

Dream pushed her head back into his shoulder, curling over her to whisper in her ear, “You promise?” (Y/N)’s words would be too muffled against the fabric of his orange jumper, so she merely gave a nod, the action more than pleasing the male before her. 

“Oh it’ll be great,” Dream admitted, pulling away to push her chin upwards to face his gaze, smiling as if she’d promised she’d be coming to visit everyday (she held down the shiver of such a thing occurring if Dream were to protest enough). “It’s not as if you have plans with other people anyway,” he chuckled as if it were an inside joke between the two, and (Y/N) clamped her mouth shut to not shove the news in his face that she was healing. That she was interacting with the other occupants of the server, after Dream had made so many precautions and actions to prevent the exact happening, tied her to him with every human’s bone deep dependency on social contact. 

The moment lasted too long and (Y/N) tugged herself away from the embrace, Dream releasing her now that he’d gotten what he wanted. (He could always hug her again during her next visit.)

She slowly turned around to peer at the flowing lava barricade, watching the bubbles form and pop. Surely it had been long enough already? Surely Sam was on the opposite end, already pulling the lever to allow her to leave?

Dream protested her actions immediately, a hand appearing on her wrist to pull her further into the room as a frown tugged at his lips, a tense smile slipping into place as she peered at his face with a confused expression. 

“Come on,” he pulled her across the floor, opening the chest in the corner. One hand kept a constant hold on her as the other riffled through the contents, leather bound books thumping against his other as he searched for a specific one. “I’ve been writing stuff in the meantime, nothing else to do you know? Here, I wanted you to read this o-” 

An explosion rang out, muted by the thick obsidian walls and the surrounding lava, but abrupt enough to startle (Y/N), yelping as she tripped over her own feet. Dream clasped her to his form easily, holding her protectively as the sounds of exploding TNT rang out, the damage left to the imagination. Silence rung out for a moment and (Y/N) yanked herself out of the male’s hold, stumbling slightly from the unexpected ease it took to leave it. 

She stammered, already making her way to the lava curtain pulled shut. “That’s it, I don’t- that’s enough. Sam!-” 

A louder, closer explosion cut her off, leaving her to throw herself backwards and scramble away from the expected blast, flashes of battles leaving her tense for an incoming attack. There was none, nothing other than Dream curling his arms around her frame again, pulling her close as she stared, wide eyed and frozen to her only escape, barricaded by flowing lava. 

“Sam... Sam, let me out,” she croaked, the words hardly reaching the male behind her, much less the one controlling the prison itself. The blasts finally quieted, the tense silence ringing in her ears as Dream casually reached forwards to tuck a few strands of her hair behind her ear, as if explosions ringing out within a prison were a completely natural occurrence. 

She wanted to snap, to smack his hand away and yell at him for what was happening (even though it wasn’t possible, he was in prison, he had no power or visitors-), though the crackle of the hidden intercom in the room cut off any thoughts, her eyes darting about for the disembodied static filling the room. 

“Sam, Sam, please”, she whimpered, the mask clad figure behind her shushing her as she trembled. 

“(Y/N), I’m-”, Sam hesitated, before she heard the Warden’s voice filter through, cold and collected, steadfast when he wasn’t the one trapped in a small cell with their manipulative ex lover and the villain of the entire server. “There’s been a security breach. I can’t let any visitors in or out until the cause is found. I’ll be investigating in the meantime.” 

The com crackled off and (Y/N) hated her mind for flashing to a particular line of text written within one of the books she had been handed, dread curling in the pit of her stomach. 

In the event of security protocol- I hereby acknowledge that I could potentially be locked within the cell for up to 7 days, or until the security issue is resolved. 

“Well,” Dream’s calm tone cut through her fear gripped panic, too proud and tilting for the current situation. “It looks like your visit has been extended.” 

He pulled her limp body against his chest, resting his head on top of her head as (Y/N) shut her eyes, imagining the safe cottage she had built in the woods, far far away from the prison. 

But the heat from the lava was too hot to compare to the soft breeze. And the suffocating grip on her was worse than any nightmares she had woken from.

[biggest-stupidhead]

Hello! This is the first time I'm ever requesting something 😂

What do you think of Captain Levi taking the weak cadet reader under his ~very~ protective wing?

Thanks!

Aw thanks for sending this in! 🥺 Personally I think that at first he’d be reluctant to get close but eventually he’d feel  responsible for their safety. 

Here’s a little something sweet for the kids. 

Summary: Levi can’t bear to watch another kid die under his care.

Word Count: 1.8K

Warnings: mentions of past abuse and malnourishment 

__

When the group of teens wandered into the courtyard, Levi knew that they were no different from the previous bunch. Wide eyed, heads in the clouds, loud boisterous laughter. All the innocent traits that they should’ve possessed, being only fifteen years old. So as he leaned against the stables with Hange at his side he began to wonder which of the young soldiers would come out on top. 

There was a sturdy boy with bright blonde hair and a dazzling smile. He seemed strong, and just from looking at him Levi could tell that he was well versed in social cues. If he could prove himself strong enough to make it through the expeditions, he stood a chance at rising in the ranks. A girl with red hair and sharp brown eyes was looking around her new environment with a certain cagey manor that Levi recognized all too well. He figured that at least she was unlike most of her peers, more focused on the here and now, something that was vital outside of the walls. A brunette boy walked in along with the throng of kids, but his shoulders were pulled back and chin cocked upwards. It was clear that he was confident in his skills, more so than most of his peers. He noted the cuts on his knuckles and how his fellow soldiers granted him a wide berth, Levi figured that he must have been strong enough to demand the respect of his comrades. 

It was only Levi’s second year with the scouts, yet he could recognize these traits with ease. Cadets were chewed up in training, spat into action and then digested by titans, well of course not literally since titans don’t digest. He hated that he could recognize those who would not make it apart from those who would. 

And when he saw you, he knew that you would not be one of them. Frail and silent, almost an apparition, barely standing apart from the crowd. Levi was thrown right back into the darkest parts of his memory when he took in your malnourished state, the bones that jutted from your wrists, the way that the clothes looked too big on you. It was all too familiar, hunger had been a pain he had endured for the worse half of his life. 

He couldn’t fathom why of all the regiments, you had come crawling into the corps. Your eyes were glazed over and your face held no emotion. You jumped when the blonde boy clapped you on the back, his hands rubbing your shoulders almost mockingly. If Levi strained his ears, he could just make out the boy’s words. “-I’m still surprised you came here (Y/n)! Thought for sure you’d drop out and work in the fields.” He teased as he steered you towards the red head who was glaring daggers back at the blonde and you. 

“I’ve told you....I’m no quitter.” Your words were strained and clearly you had dealt with this tormenting perviously as well. 

“Ah but you see I’m proud of you! Our own little runt rising in the ranks.” He clapped your back once more, causing you to stumble forward and smack into the red head who whipped around and glared at the blonde. 

“Knock it off Jake, I’ll break your damn ankles if you keep messin with the lass.” Her accent surprised Levi. 

“Oh come on Red, you know I’m right.” Jake pressed as he kept a domineering hand on your shoulder, guiding you forward. Levi couldn’t tell if the banter between the three, or well two of them was friendly or hostile as they marched past the stables. 

“Interesting batch this one...” Hange commented as she angled her head down to speak to Levi in a somewhat hushed tone. 

“Hmph, I suppose.” Levi agreed, eyes still locked on the retreating cadets. 

“Since I’m a squad leader now, I think that I’ll take the blonde, he looks like he possesses a good mind.” Hange brought her knuckle to her lips to nibble the skin as her cheeks flushed with excitement. Levi rolled his eyes, he was still working directly under Erwin as a regular soldier, but he hoped to have his own team as well soon. 

“You do that.” Levi grunted, pushing off of the wall to tail the cadets into the dining hall for dinner. Hange huffed in disappointment but still followed after Levi, easily catching up to him and matching his stride. 

“And what about you? Erwin mentioned giving you some kids to watch, which would you like to have under your care?” Hange asked as she smirked down at Levi. 

“The ones that know how to properly clean their asses.” Levi grunted as he pulled the doors open and marched straight towards the veteran’s table in the back of the room, where Nanaba, Gelgar, Mike, and Ness were already gathered. He grabbed a tray of food before dropping into an open seat next to Mike, Hange falling into the seat to his right. 

“-She’s to thin I can’t believe she can even function-” Gelgar was in the middle of a rant when Nanaba smacked him in the back of the head. 

“That’s no way to speak about her! God knows what she’s been through.” Nanaba’s voice was hushed and carried an edge of scolding on it as she spoke. Levi followed their gaze back to you, sitting between Jake and the red head, their shoulders brushing against yours as the three or you scarfed down the food. Directly across was the brunette, his eyes were dull and constantly roaming across the room, almost as if he was on look out duty. 

“Come on Nan, look at the poor runt! I’m only speaking the truth.” Gelgar argued, your back was to them, jacket strewn across your lap, meaning that your spine could be seen, even from nearly across the room. 

“Who’s going to want that responsibility? It’s like sending a lamb off to slaughter!” Gelgar continued and Mike gave a grunt in agreement. 

“I’ll take her.” Levi’s voice surprised himself, the table fell quiet as they all stared at him in awe. 

“What? Clearly she has some talent if she’s made it this far.” Levi grunted, lifting his tea to his lips in hopes of deterring more questions. 

“How bold of you.” Hange said with a wide smile. 

“Shut up shitty glasses.” He scoffed and stood, eager to find Erwin and request for the mangey runt to be in his mini squad. 

__

Your feet kicked out in front of you, tapping harmlessly against Casper’s shins. You were eating slower than usual, feeling pressured by Jake and Carina on either side of you. Casper was dutifully keeping watch, something that he had done since you were children, the threat of loosing dinner to rabid street dogs or other children. The inner walls were only kind to those of status, you were examples of that. Casper and yourself had met on the streets and been inseparable ever since, picking up Jake and Carina in the cadet corps. Now you had a happy little family. 

“What squad are you assigned to?” Jake prodded your boney ribs, spitting crumbs on you as he spoke. 

“Erwin’s.” You answered, taking a chunk out of your own bread as well. 

“Ahh for real? I’m with squad leader Hange.” Jake’s chest puffed out proudly and Casper rolled his eyes. 

“I’m under Erwin as well.” He said, looking to Carina expectantly. 

“I’m under Mike.” Carina said with her mug pressed to her lips. 

“So we’ll be splitting up...” You said with a dark look on your face. 

“Seems so.” Jake agreed in a light hearted manner. 

“We’ll be okay.” Casper said to the group, but his eyes were locked on your own. 

__

As it turned out, you weren’t exactly under Erwin Smith’s care. Instead you were standing in front of his prickly subordinate, shivering in the cool morning air. 

“You lot will be working alongside me, when I say to do something I mean it. I don’t like repeating myself.” Levi paced up and down the row of cadets, only about five kids in total. 

“You want to live, train hard and trust in your comrades.” He continued, pausing in front of a girl with blonde hair. 

“Study the formations, keep your gear pristine, and care for your horse as if it was your own child.” Levi’s boots crunched on the gravel as he stopped in front of you. You were tense and your eyes were more alert than he remembered. 

“Got it?” He growled and all the cadets nodded eagerly and gave him a flurry of ‘yes sirs’ . 

“Yes sir.” He noticed how your jaw was locked and your shoulders were pulled back. Already he was seeing improvements. 

“Good, let’s get started then.” 

__

In the few months that you had to prepare for the expedition, you made slow progress. Putting on weight and muscle alike, all thanks to Levi. He often requested you to help him with his paper work and re shelving the books in the scout’s library. As a reward he would often gift you extra rations, you were grateful of course. But as the expedition neared it became obvious that he was not going to sign you off. 

“-Captain I have to go, it wouldn’t be fair to my comrades! They need me!” You begged, hands splayed out on his desktop as he leaned back in his chair. 

“Quit whining, I’m trying to spare your pathetic life.” Levi scoffed as he glared up at you. 

“But sir, it’s not fair. It’s like you said, my life isn’t worth more than my comrades’.” You argued, surprised by your own stubbornness as you glowered at your superior. 

“You’re right....but every human life is special in its own right. If you were to perish under my care....I’d never-” 

“It’s part of the job. I signed up knowing the risks, I’m sure you did too. So....let me do what I signed up for.” Your voice mellowed out and you averted your eyes, embarrassed by the outburst. 

“I won’t let you die out there. Sit this one out, work harder, gain some strength and then you can join us on the mission. If there’s one thing in this world that I hate more then filth, it would be a pointless death.” Levi rose to his feet and met your gaze once more. You couldn’t deny that you were weak, he was right, if you were to go out there now, you would surely perish. 

“Fine, just this once.” Levi felt his heart float with relief, even if it was just one mission, it was still more time that he could spend on training you. 

“Thank you, now get the fuck out of here.” He pointed at the door and you saluted him one last time before leaving him alone in his dimly lit office. He promised himself that he would do his best to prepare you, keep you safe, keep you alive. That was all he wanted, he knew that this was a dangerous wish, but he was determined to see it through, no matter what. 

[football-writing]

Mason Mount - believe in me

Warning: contains mentions of mental health issues and depictions of a panic attack. Also is generally a bit of an angsty one so if you're not comfortable with reading any of that please skip this! And if you yourself are struggling with mental health, I'm always here for you! <3

*also panic attacks can differ from person to person so please take everything i've written with a grain of salt lmao

He was franctically looking for his car keys after the texts he had gotten from her.

"Mase can you come over?

i need u

please"

Double texting wasn't a rare occurence between the two of them, but the tone of texts made worry take over as he quickly texted her back that he'd be there soon.

And as soon as he found his keys, he was sprinting for his car and driving as fast as he legally could to get to her apartment, cursing as he couldn't find a parking spot quick enough for his liking. Then running up the stairs, taking two steps at a time to get to her as soon as possible.

Her door was open already, something she always did when she knew he was coming over, despite him scolding her for it everytime because he was scared someone was gonna break in and hurt her.

Those thoughts were on the back of his mind now as he rushed in, finding her sitting in front of her couch with her knees up to her chest, hugging them tight as her forehead was rested on top of them, shielding her face. Papers were spread around her, some crumbled up in balls, others thrown a few feet in front of her. The mess that was her apartment was a red flag for him, but it didn't shock him as much as the state she was in. Her breaths came out hard and fast as she barely could breath between her erratic sobs.

He stood frozen as he watched her. As quick as he got here, he had no idea what to do when he saw her like that. His chest tightened at seeing her like this, and he was ready to fight whichever bastard caused her to feel this way. Yet the rational side of him knew that that was of no use to her now. But what was? What was he supposed to do when his she was this upset? Sure he'd seen her upset before. But not like this.

He realised he couldn't just stand there either, and so took a few steps towards her. The sound of his footsteps alerted her of his presence, and she looked up through watery eyelashes. Her pale face stained with rundown mascara from her tears, her lips quivering as she silenced her sobs for a short moment to look at him. Yet as soon as she made eyecontact with him, and opened her mouth to try to explain what was going on, or apologise for the state she was in, a loud sob escaped, her breath stocking in her throat as tears flooded her eyes once again.

This time he didn't freeze, although his heart ached just as bad, if not worse. He took another couple of steps until he was right next to her, crouching down as his eyes remained focused on her form.

"Hey sweetheart. Shh, it's okay. Can I hug you, baby?" His tone was soft as he asked her, yet she shook her head vigorously and squeezed her eyes shut tightly at his question as her breathing instantly became more uneven, and he thought she was going to faint if her breathing came out any faster than it did now.

But how was he going to comfort her when she didn't want him to hold her?

It was then that he remembered one of his mates telling him about a panic attack he had, how he couldn't think straight, or breathe, barely utter out a coherent sentence as his mind had wandered to awful things, and although it had sounded rough to him at the time, seeing her like this made him fully recognise how terrifying it is. He wished he had asked his mate more about it, then, so he knew what to do. Although he had no idea how to start such a conversation with him. Nor with her, for that matter.

So he did what he thought would help her most. He picked up some of the papers spread out around her, neatly stacking them together as he emptied a space next to her. Enough so he could sit down there, his back against the couch just like hers. Soothing words spilled from his lips in an attempt to calm her down. He almost reached out a hand to touch her, rub her back soothingly, or stroke her hair to make sure it didn't get in her face. Yet he withheld his urge to do so, even if it was the most natural way for him to comfort her.

"Hey. You don't have to say anything, okay? It's gonna be okay, I'm here. Shh, it's okay, love. I'm not going anywhere."

His soothing words did nothing to ease her mind, her cries coming out more ragged than before. He had no idea how he could've possibly made it worse, and panicked as to what to say next. Instead, she started speaking, her words cut off by devestating sobs and hiccups and gasps as she tried to take in as much air as she could.

"I thought I had it under control but- but I don't and everyone hates me now. Everyone hates me! And there's too much and- I don't have time and everything is messed up and I don't know how to goddamn fix it - I can't fucking fix it. I don't know what to do- I can't do it, Mase. I can't do it." She repeated those last few words over and over like she was stuck in a bad mantra, her voice raw and loud and full of pain.

"Hey, babygirl. Shush, it's okay. No one hates you, alright. I wouldn't be here if I did, right?" He tried to reason with her, tried to swallow the lump in his throat and steady his voice, not wanting to let on how much it affected him. It would do her no good. "Just keep breathing, yeah. Deep breaths, babygirl, just like that." He said as he demonstrated how to do it. It took her a good few minutes to get her breathing under control again, but he was patient with her as he kept guiding her, words of encouragement filling the air every time her breathing threathened to become unsteady again.

After her breathing became steady, as steady as it could, her sobs still continued. Her eyes spilling tear after tear that ran down her cheeks only to be caught by the sleeves of her sweater that her chin rested upon.

"I'm such a failure. I can't even function properly and look at me! Look at the mess I made!" She cried out exasperated. "I'm so worthless Mase. You shouldn't even be here, I just bring you down. I'm no good Mason. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Y/N," He tone was commanding, forcing her to look up at him. He kept eye contact as he spoke. "If you cannot believe in yourself, believe in me. You are the most wonderful, funny, intelligent and allround beautiful person I know. You are not a failure. At all. Whatever this is, we can fix it, okay? I got you, and we'll figure it out together. I'm not going anywhere."

His words were reassuring enough for her to steady her breathing, which eased the tight feeling in his chest. She lifted her head too, instead opting to sit back against the couch completely, the back of her head resting on the seat.

"Can you-" a sob interrupted her softspoken words "distract me?" A whispered 'please' followed her question as she turned her face to look at him. Her eyes were puffy and red, as were her cheeks. She still looked incredibly upset, but her sobs were less loud, and she seemed to have calmed down considerably from the state she was in when he found her.

"Yeah. Of course." He smiled softly at her.

"Do you want me to tell you about my day?"

She nodded as she wiped her nose with the sleeve that was pulled over the back of her hand.

And so he told her all about what he had been up to. It felt weird talking about his day, after all it had been quite decent up until her text. Still, he tried to talk as animatedly as he could, knowing it would cheer her up. He told her about how his sister had texted him pictures of her daughter's birthday cake, or what was left of it as her daughter had eaten it. With her bare hands, that is. Her hands that she had also somehow rubbed over the entire dining table and parts of the couch.

The story got a small chuckle out of her, and after a few more sniffles she seemed to have stopped crying. Yet he told her about his training too, in hopes of hearing her beautiful laugh ring throug his ears once again. He told her about how him and some of his teammates had dared Ben to get in the washing machine, and locked him up for a bit too. How funny he looked through the little window of the machine, how one of his mates had nearly pissed himself laughing so hard, and how Thiago had come in with no clue what was going on, having the most confused look on his face as he saw Ben stuck in the washing machine. The others laughing even harder, some of them with tears in their eyes.

The story made a smile appear on her face, but it wasn't until he showed her the video on his phone that she actually let out a small laugh. She had scooted closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder to watch the video.

Somewhere along the whole ordeal he had resorted to pulling his knees up, rubbing his own shins in comfort instead of reaching out to her. It was instinctual, really, and he hadn't even noticed he was doing it, or still doing it, until she rested her hand atop of his, stopping his movement in the process.

"Sorry for scaring you. And saying no to the hug." She said sincerely after a few beats of silence, her voice still hoarse from crying, her fingers intertwining with his.

"Hey, no apologising for any of this, okay?" His voice was stern; he absolutely did not want her to feel guilty.

"Sorry." Although he couldn't see her face, and her voice still sounded strained, he knew she was smiling as she said it. Their usual teasing being back on meant she was okay. As much as she could be okay at this very moment.

"What did I just say, huh?" He joked as he put his arm around her, squeezing her tightly for a second before tracing soothing patterns on her upper arm with his indexfinger.

"You have these often?" His voice was more gentle than before, his tone serious again as he stilled his movements in anticipation of her answer.

"Yeah, sometimes. They come and go, really." She confessed.

"How come you never told me?"

"I don't know. Just never came up. S'not something you just blurt out." She shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal, and he was quiet for a few beats before replying.

"I wouldn't have judged you, you know that, right?"

She hummed in response.

"Just want to make sure I know what to do to help you. How to make it more bearable for you."

"This was alright." Her voice was small, but his heart still warmed at her words.

He continued his tracing patterns on her arm then, as he contemplated what to say next.

"You want to talk about why it happened?" He could feel her tense under him as the question spilled from his mouth, and he scrunched up his nose in frustration as he cursed himself. Did he have to ask that and make her upset again?

"Not really. If that's okay?"

"Of course, love. I'm sorry. We don't have to talk about anything alright. We can do whatever you want. I'll do whatever you want my dear."

"Can we sit on the couch instead, then? My butt hurts from sitting on the floor." He let out a loud laugh at her sudden boldness. He knew they'd have another talk about it soon, once she wasn't as overwhelmed with emotions, and he hoped it wouldn't be necessary, but he wanted to learn more. Why she was stressed, what he could do to help her, both in situations like these, but also to prevent her from feeling like this at all.

"Will you cuddle with me, Mase?" She had made herself comfortable on the couch and grabbed the remote to look for something to watch on the telly, presumably her comfort series. Her voice cracked as she asked the question, and Mason smiled at that.

"I'll get you a glass of water first, 'ight?"

"And my blanket, please. It's in the right cupboard over there." She pointed to the right place as she smiled innocently at him. He rolled his eyes playfully at her request, pretending it was a mighty challenging request, and she stuck out her tongue in response. He also pretended not to hear her muttering something about spoiled footballers.

Still, it put a smile on his face. Even if she was still upset, knowing she could joke around with him, and felt comfortable enough doing so, meant that she wasn't in that bad place anymore. At least for now. He didn't want to risk her getting another panic attack while he wasn't there to help her though, so he opted to stay with her for the rest of the day and not moan about her jokes of him being a stereotypical footballer like he usually would.

It's not like he minded it all too much, anyway.

[kaistarus]

The Nishinoya Family’s Chaos

Pairing: Nishinoya X Reader

Words: 2.6K

Summary: You’re spending time at Noya’s house and all of his sisters are home for the holidays. Noya can’t seem to catch a break, but you’re easily amused by his family’s chaos.

Notes: Apparently Noya has 3 older sisters? As someone with 3 siblings I absolutely could not let this information exist and not write a fic with Noya sibling dynamic. The name and info on his siblings is all made up, as far as I know the only canon is that they exist! :)

Masterlist // Ko-Fi

The first weekend of winter break you and Noya had decided to spend Saturday relaxing and watching movies. Tanaka had given Noya several Netflix recommendations, so with plenty of options you were currently attempting to toss popcorn into Noya’s mouth. You had forgotten what Noya’d selected, but whatever it was had already lost your attention. Noya needed to inform Tanaka his taste in movies sucked.

You snorted as your popcorn kernel missed Noya’s mouth entirely and poked him in the eye.

“Nice catch,” you said sarcastically, closing one eye to aim your next shot.

“Nice throw,” he countered, tossing the dropped piece in his mouth.

“It was a perfect throw. Excellent arc and speed.”

“My reflexes are beyond human comprehension. I would’ve been able to catch a mediocre toss,” he lightly squeezed one of your shins that lay across his lap. “It’s okay. I’m sure you’ll improve with time.”

You grabbed a handful of popcorn and threw them at his face. “I think a few of them went in! You’re right, I am improving.”

Noya picked up some of the pieces on his chest and tossed them back at you with a glare, but you shielded yourself with your arms. You tried to pick up another handful, but he’d already tugged the bowl away from your hands to hold protectively against his chest. What a cheater, you thought, as he mischievously smirked at you.

“Hey, Yuu. Can you do me a fav-Oh, hey (Y/N)!” His eldest sister, Yuki, appeared over the back of the couch making you jump. You had nearly forgotten his sisters had all come home for the holidays.

“Depends.” Noya threw another piece of popcorn at your face while barely acknowledging his sister’s presence. After the piece hit you in the forehead you gave him a small kick to the stomach that he over exaggerated with a groan and an arm slinging over it, letting his tongue hang out the side of his mouth.

What a baby.

“I’m going out to eat with some friends,” she said, smirking at your guys’ display before pushing herself away from the couch. “I started a load of laundry though, so I need you to switch it to the dryer in like half an hour.”

“Why can’t Mina or Sayori do it?” He passed you back the popcorn bowl so he could look over the back of the couch and question Yuki properly. You had only met her a handful of times, but she was absolutely ethereal with her beauty, like, just not fair level attractive. Not that you didn’t find Noya attractive, but what the fuck. How had he lived with that for so long and still have self-esteem?

“Because they’re busy.”

“I’m busy,” he gestured toward the television with his thumb.

“You’re not actually watching it.” She said irritated as you heard a lot of drawers sliding open and closed. “It’ll take three seconds, Yuu. Stop whining.”

“What are you looking for?” Noya leaned onto his crossed arms.

“Dad wants me to take his car because of the snow, but I don’t know where he keeps his keys anymore.”

“Drawer by the fridge.” He said lazily as he flopped back down, picking up your feet to lay them across his lap again.

“Thanks,” You heard the rustling of a coat as she likely prepared herself for the weather outside. “Do you guys want me to pick you something up while I’m out?”

Noya drummed his hands against your legs as he thought before raising a brow toward you, but you lifted your hands while shrugging. You weren’t really hungry at the moment, so you wouldn’t be any help.

“Not sure,” he said without looking back. “Can you text me when you’re heading home?”

“Will do,” she said, and you felt a chill over your skin when she opened the door letting the cold air inside. “See you soon. Thanks again, Yuu. Love you.”

“Yeah yeah, you too.” He said while rolling his eyes. Noya shook the bowl around while he searched for the few edible ones left since throwing pieces around didn’t leave you with much actual food. When he glanced up he raised a brow at your fond smile. “What?”

“I just like seeing you be a younger brother,” you said, poking him in the nose. “It’s cute.”

“Don’t demean me. I’m the farthest thing from cute,” he pouted while grabbing your hand to make you cup his cheek. Yeah, leaning against your hand really helped prove his case. You leisurely rubbed your thumb along his cheek as he rested against the palm he held in place.

“My mistake.” You whispered. Noya’s eyes narrowed at your obviously teasing tone, but when they flickered down to your lips you figured he must’ve decided on giving you a pass. 

“Yuu did you steal my fucking laptop charger again!?”

His hold on the back of your hand tightened slightly as he squeezed his eyes closed. After a long shuddering breath he gave you a quick apologetic smile before leaning back to glare at the ceiling where you heard aggressive stomping.

“No, I don’t have your goddamn charger!” Noya shouted while cupping his mouth. His head fell against the couch when the stomping moved toward the staircase.

“I told you to stay out of my room!”

“Why would I even want to go into that ugly ass mess!?”

“I’m in the middle of a fucking quiz and my laptop is dying.” His other sister, Mina, came stomping into the living space with murder in her eyes. You shrunk into the couch, but Noya just sneered back at her.

“I don’t even have it.”

 “Well it’s not in my room and you always steal my shit.” Mina menacingly marched to stand in front of him with her hands on her hips. “My chargers, my leftovers, my clothes, my-”

“We’ve been over this,” he stood up so they were nose to nose. “If they were your favorite sweatpants you would have taken them to college. They were free game.”

“That’s not how it works!”

“Is too.”

“Is not you fucking shrimp!”

“You’re one inch taller than me!”

“One more inch I can use to kick your ass!” She actually cracked her knuckles before her eyes flickered to you. “Oh my god, (Y/N)? When did you get here?”

“Uh, I’ve been here.” You laughed awkwardly.

“Really?” She furrowed her brow before turning back to Noya and both pinching then twisting his bicep. 

He squeaked. “What the hell?”

“Give. It. Back.”

“I. Don’t. Have. It.” He sneered, ripping her hand off him. They glared at each other for a few seconds before Noya sighed dramatically; leaving down the hall to his room with obnoxiously loud steps and slamming the door closed when he got there. You just shook his head at the childish display.

“So, how’s life?” Mina asked while taking a seat on the coffee table across from you. “Yuu treating you good?”

“Yeah, we’re great. He’s amazing.” You said, glancing down the hall where he was probably cursing up a storm.

“He’s a brat, but he’s a great kid.” She pointed a finger at you sternly. “Don’t tell him I said that.”

“Never.”

Noya came back empty-handed and you glanced back to Mina nervously. “It isn’t in my room.”

“You lost my charger?”

“That’s not what I-” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Are you listening to me? I don’t have it. Maybe you just lost it.”

Her jaw dropped. “So, you lose my charger and then try to blame it on me?”

“I didn’t fucking lose-”

“Hey Yuu. I need your help.” Came the voice from his final sister as Sayori wandered into the living room with her face in her phone.

“Oh my fucking god!” He dragged his hands down his face. “So, when I asked everyone to stay out of the living room did that just go over everyone’s head?”

“Jesus, who put a stick up your ass.” Sayori scoffed.

“The brat’s upset because I found out he lost my charger.”

“I didn’t lose-”

“For your laptop?” Sayori clarified and Mina nodded. “Oh, I borrowed that yesterday. It’s in my room.”

Mina blinked and turned to a fuming Noya. “It appears I may have been mistaken.”

“No shit.”

“I will be going now.”

“And stay away.”

She glared at him, but didn’t say anything as she went back to the stairs. Noya, however, like the bigger man he was, stuck his tongue out at her back as she was leaving. You shook your head again. Mina was double the hothead Noya was, so she was absolutely terrifying when angry. And Noya being as stubborn as he was just loved to walk the line.

Once Mina was gone Noya pushed past his other sister to plop sluggishly onto the couch and lay face first onto your lap, wrapping his arms around your waist. Your smile softened down at him and your hand automatically came up to run your fingers through his hair. It was one of your favorite things to do.

“Hey, (Y/N).”

“Hello,” You felt Noya’s annoyed grumbles against your stomach and you lightly tugged on his hair. He whined and tightened his grip around your stomach.

Sayori sat on Noya’s legs on the opposite side of the couch, making him yelp in pain. He tried kicking her off, but Sayori stubbornly didn’t move until Noya just ended up with his legs on her lap. You smirked at the scene while you just continued to play with Noya’s hair. Sayori was probably your favorite among Noya’s sisters because she had the same chaotic nature.

She also had the same blonde streak of hair and you thought that was really cool because it made them look like twins.

Sayori began poking Noya in the calves repeatedly until he whined dramatically and peeked down at her.

“What.”

“So, I matched with this guy on Tinder and I told him that I really love volleyball, but apparently he used to play it and now I don’t know what to do.”

He gave her a look of disbelief before flipping over on your lap. “Why would you do that?”

“I don’t know. I mean I like watching you play it so it wasn’t a complete lie.” She said as she offered the phone to him.

“Yeah, but you don’t understand it,” he took the device from her hands. You pushed his hair back away from his forehead and fiddled absentmindedly with the blonde strip of hair. Noya began scrolling through something before typing against the screen.

“Okay, well you told (Y/N) that you liked to read,” Sayori rolled her eyes. “I had to research book synopsis while you were texting her and that’s infinitely more pathetic.”

He turned red and kicked Sayori in the stomach. “What the hell? Shut up.”

“Noya, I knew you were lying right away,” you said. “We’re in the same class. You complain about lit class every day.”

“Then why’d you go along with it?” He said, sounding betrayed.

“‘Cause it was funny,” you smirked. “I honestly didn’t know half the books I talked about. I just wanted to see how far you’d go.”

“That’s evil.”

“That’s hilarious,” Sayori added, patting you on the shoulder in approval. “I’m so glad you two worked out.”

“Me too,” you brushed your knuckles along his cheek and he paused to give you a dopey smile.

“Okay, but be mushy somewhere else.” Sayori said, while fake gagging.

“You’re the one invading our space,” he snorted. “This could’ve waited until later, Sayori.”

“What are you even doing?”

“Oh, he’s flirting for me.” Sayori shrugged like it was completely normal.

“And you… want the guy to like you?” You asked, ignoring the half-assed glare Noya sent you.

“He’s actually a great flirt as long as there’s no emotional attachment.”

“Seriously?”

“Stop acting so surprised,” Noya furrowed his brow at you. “I flirted well enough to get you to date me.”

“I guess.” Although if you were being honest you actually fell for how bad he was at flirting with you. You were way more attracted to his awkward attempts to impress you than if he’d been super suave or something.

“This guy’s a loser.” Noya grimaced. “I don’t like the way he’s treating you.”

“Really?” Sayori slid down so she laid beside him on your lap and you lifted your hands awkwardly. He just tilted the screen to her and she tsked. “Man, boys suck.”

Noya nodded in agreement as he handed the phone back to her before she hoisted herself off you.

“So, this is normal then?” You asked.

“Yep, he pulls most of my dates. It’s only when he has crushes that he’s a wreck.” She snorted. “Like, it took three days for him to confidently text you by himself.”

“Don’t tell her that!”

“You were nervous? That’s so cute,” you smashed his cheeks together and Noya furrowed his eyebrows annoyed.

“Isn’t it?” Sayori squeezed his feet and bounced them playfully. “I mean, I had to text you the first day while he paced around panicking and ranting about how cute you were and how he was gonna fuck it up. I’ve never seen him so-”

Noya kicked her in the stomach. “Sayori, leave.”

She rolled her eyes, “After all I do for you…” She got up from the couch and sent a peace sign over her shoulder. “See you guys later.”

“Whatever,” he mumbles under his breath.

“Thank you! I love you!” She screamed from her doorway while Noya reached his hand up to pinch your nose and wave your head around.

“Whatever, love you too!”

You captured the hand on your nose and brought the back of his hand to your lips. “I also love you.” You said softly against his hand.

“I love you, too.” He whispered.

You let yourselves enjoy the first moments of silence together as his eyes drifted closed and you leaned against his hand. The only noise came from Mina’s muffled study playlist drifting through the floorboards as even the television had long fallen quiet-the movie ending a long time ago without either of you noticing.

“I like having you here,” he said, peeking an eye open.

Your eyes softened. “I like being here.”

The washer buzzed and he squeezed his eyes shut while taking a deep breath. He rolled off your lap with a whine, giving you a quick peck on the forehead before he went jogging down the hallway with a promise that he would be right back. You watched after him as he sock slid on the hardwood floor to make a sharp turn and continue running toward their washroom. You couldn’t contain the dopey smile on your lips.

You relaxed back against the couch as your cheeks turned a rosey shade of pink. You stared up at the ceiling fan spinning around and chewed on your bottom lip, mulling over your thoughts.

You really did love being here, being a part of the family chaos. As you heard the dryer start running and a door sliding shut somewhere in the house a nice thrum ran through your heart because… you especially loved being a part of the family chaos with him.

[floralseokjin]

⤑ made-up love song drabbles

Seokjin tells his therapist he might have a little crush on you

kim seokjin x reader warnings; this drabble takes place during a therapy session but it entails a light hearted conversation words; 1,773 words

↪︎ read the series here / and drabbles here

“It definitely seems like a crush, Seokjin,” Mrs. Shin nodded, the slightest of smiles lifting her lips as she looked across at him, her glasses perched a little way down the bridge of her nose. She was teasing him. He knew her well enough by now. He’d been having a session a week for the past three years. 

Admittedly at first he’d been sceptical. It was policy at the company. With such a stressful and demanding position he needed to have someone on hand to talk to regularly, just in case it all became too much, so he was unable to turn it down even if he had wanted to at first. He’d never been one for talking about his feelings, choosing to deal with them himself. He wasn’t a fan of sharing, not wanting to be a burden or risk unloading his troubles onto someone who didn’t really want to hear it but didn’t have the heart to tell him. He was still like that now in ways, but he figured this was Mrs. Shin’s – Chaewon’s – job, so she had to have a passion for it, right? Helping people… 

And helped him she had. He didn’t know where he’d be if it wasn’t for her. She’d been there for him tremendously over the years, especially with his divorce and the strains of being apart from Arin. He was a busy man so these visits couldn’t be in person most of the time, usually done over phone call, sometimes video, but today he’d felt like getting out of the office. Taking a long lunch to confess something he hadn’t even had the balls to tell Namjoon, his best friend of twenty years. 

See, the thing was, he had found himself in a bind. It had been two weeks since he’d backed out into your car. Two weeks since he’d embarrassingly taken it upon himself to take said car and pay his mechanic to fix the damage. Two weeks since he’d last seen you, waving you off at the subway station he’d driven you to, and two weeks since he’d been unable to stop thinking about you. He had it bad, and he had no idea if he was deluding himself or not. I might have a little crush, had been his opening line, and it made him want the floor to open up and swallow him whole. 

He groaned quite loudly (definitely dramatically), throwing his head back. “But it sounds so juvenile.” 

He wasn’t in high school. He was a near forty year old man, with a child. Crushes were for teenagers. In fact, the last time he’d had one he’d been in 9th grade. Moon Dabin, the daughter of one of his father’s friends. It hadn’t ended well, his feelings left unrequited which he feared was happening this time around too. Not that they were feelings per se. That would be foolish. He didn’t even know you properly. This was just an… attraction? 

“Well, what else would you call it?” Chaewon chuckled, now not even bothering to try and hide her amusement. 

“I have no idea.” He admitted. “I’m just…” he trailed off, feeling like an idiot having to say the words aloud. “I’m just very attracted to her, and I feel this sense of…” – another pause as he tried to think of the correct word – “admiration towards her?” 

That didn’t seem right, or it sounded weird, something like that. You were dedicated to your job. The parent teacher meeting had made it obvious just how much you loved teaching. You also had this… tenacity about you. You were feisty, scrappy. He felt out of his depth around you, but oddly relaxed at the same time. He respected you. Not that he didn’t respect everyone, but well – God, what was going on with him? He liked you. It was plain and simple. It didn’t matter if you were virtually a stranger. 

“I just like her.” 

“What do you like about her?” Chaewon pressed, smiling innocently. “You know, other than her face.” 

Seokjin shook his head with a slight chuckle. “She just has this way about her.” You made him laugh. You made him awkward. You made him flirty, as embarrassing as that was to admit. “I mean, I’ve seen her a grand total of three times but each time has been…fun.” 

The older woman in front of him raised an eyebrow. “Fun?” 

“Different.” He explained with a nod.  “There was something there, possibly.” He didn’t want to delude himself after all. “I think we built up some kind of rapport.” 

“You mean you were flirting.” 

“Possibly.” That word again. “I mean, it’s been a long time since I tried, so I may have been doing it very wrong.” 

Chaewon stifled a laugh as she shrugged. “Well, if she was flirting back.” 

“I don’t know if she was.” He replied unsurely. “She was kind of annoyed at me, because I wouldn’t let her pay me back for the car but I think it was in a playful way.” He paused, thinking some more. “She let me give her a ride to the subway so she can’t think I’m that bad, right?”

Chaewon hummed in consideration. “Maybe it beat getting lost.” The look of horror on his face made her laugh. “I’m just kidding, Seokjin.” She didn’t give him time to reply, lacing her fingers together as she viewed him. “I say, why don’t you ask her out for dinner.” 

“D-dinner?” He more of less spluttered, his shirt collar now feeling dangerously tight against his neck.  “Like some kind of date?”

“Mm hm.” 

He shook his head, “I can’t.” He was adamant. “It just seems… I’m not – I haven’t dated in a while, and besides, she’s Arin’s teacher.” It would be completely unprofessional. He couldn’t. 

“Not for long though, right?”

Seokjin pursed his lips. “Correct.” Damn him for being too easy with the information he’d already handed out. Chaewon had been pushing him to date for the longest time. She was loving this, the chance perfect. 

“I’m too busy.” He insisted, but he knew it was an excuse. “What with work and Arin living with me now. It’s just not very plausible.” 

“I’m sure you can make time for one little date. Unless…” Chaewon paused to look at him pointedly, “you’re holding out for more?”

“No!” His exclamation was loud. “I just… If things – Never mind,” he ended with a groan, flustered now. His face felt hot. His ears too. 

Chaewon sighed gently. “Seokjin, you deserve some time for yourself too. I think dating will do you some good.” 

There she went again. 

“It’s been what, two years?” Seokjin answered her question with a nod, knowing what she was alluding to. “Don’t you think it’s time to put yourself out there?” 

He hesitated. Deep down he knew she was talking sense. While not exactly minding the fact he was single, a companionship sounded nice. A romantic one at that. But who would want a divorced father? He wasn’t exactly a catch now was he? 

“What could go wrong?” Chaewon prompted, sensing his reluctance. 

“What if she’s married?” 

He may or may not have already looked for a ring that Saturday afternoon you’d dropped off his car… Was that a strange thing to do? He hadn’t seen one, but that didn’t mean anything. 

“Then she’ll simply tell you that and you’ll have to get over your little crush.” 

If you were married, he’d feel like such a fool getting his hopes up like this, and if you weren’t, chances were you were already in a relationship. “What if she’s not interested in going for dinner?” He figured they were valid concerns. He hadn’t asked out a woman in near a decade, and even then it wasn’t comparable because he had known Nana was interested already. 

“Again, she’ll let you know,” Chaewon smiled. 

“Do you think she might be interested?” The thought of getting turned down would not only dent his ego, but he’d be extremely disappointed too. He really did like you.  Maybe getting another woman’s perspective would do him good. “You know, from what I’ve told you,” he added. 

Chaewon’s smile grew, gaze casting downwards as she began to tease him. “Well, with the rapport you’ve built up, and the way she was annoyed at you but playfully, then maybe.” 

He couldn’t help but chuckle, rubbing his fingers back and forth along his jaw. “Shit, you’re setting me up for failure.” 

“I don’t think I am,” she said, shaking her head to turn serious. “From what you’ve told me, and granted she’s single, I think you’re in with a fighting chance.” 

Seokjin liked the sound of that. “So you don’t think she’s still holding a grudge against me?”

“For what, stealing her car?”

“If you want to call it that.” He didn’t even try to fight it today. He already knew Chaewon’s views on the matter. She’d been appalled to find out that he’d just gotten his mechanic to tow away your car like that. Of course, he understood his mistake now, but back then he was blindsided, hellbent on sorting out the mess he’d caused.  

“I guess possibly she can hold a grudge and be attracted to you at the same time,” Chaewon replied almost cryptically, but Seokjin was too distracted by the latter half. He hoped you were attracted to him, just as much as he was attracted to you. 

“That reminds me,” Chaewon clapped her hands suddenly, gaining his attention back. “We should probably use some of this session to go over that impulsiveness you sometimes struggle with.” 

Psychoanalysing himself did not sound like fun right now. Not when he had to make a decision about asking you out for dinner or not. Maybe he needed that impulsiveness right now… 

“However, from the look on your face, I see you want to keep talking about Y/N.” 

The sound of your name made him grin. It was such a pretty name, suited you well. Maybe he could do this. Date. It didn’t have to be a big deal. It didn’t have to be scary.  

“Chaewon, do you think I’m ready to start dating?” He asked in all seriousness, as if he didn’t know her answer. 

“I have been saying it for months now, yes,” his therapist nodded, but her voice was gentle. She understood his hesitance, she knew him very well. 

“Right,” he murmured, lowering his head feeling a little bashful. 

“So,” she nudged softly, “you better hurry, or you’ll be all out of chances. You did say the summer fate is tomorrow, didn’t you?” 

Shit. He definitely told her too much. 

Written 2020 - 2021.  Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed.  © floralseokjin 2021

[moonlightchildz]

The art of broken love; K.T

writer: moonlightchildz

date published: 03/07/2020

pairings: taehyung x reader

warnings: smut: creampie, fingering, unprotected sex, oral f. receiving, uhh does dirty talk count??, use of drug (weed), & angst

description: you were utterly and irrevocably in love with kim taehyung. problem was that he was your best friend’s ex.

word count: 21.2k (whoops)

His lips are roaming the crook of your neck, tongue sweeping your skin. His hands are placed on the wall that you’re backed into, eyes watching you as you begin to lose yourself into his touch. You’re mewling at just the sensation of his mouth on your skin, hands beginning to tangle themselves into his long, wavy hair. His wet kisses start to trail up your neck, kissing the side of your mouth as you giggle, eyes opening to finally see him.

“Taehyung,” you pull him closer, noses nudging against each other’s. He hasn’t kissed you yet and you’re becoming a tad bit crazier as each second passes since you need to kiss him at this point.

“I love you,” he whispers it out against your mouth, fingers encasing your mouth to keep you close to him. Your eyes widen, fingers becoming numb. “I love you.”

And before you could utter those same words out to him, you woke up.

“Holy fuck,” you panted out heavily, hands trembling as you tried to get yourself together. You glanced around your bedroom, noting that it’s past three am and you feel those familiar tears paint your face once again.

You did not just have a wet dream of fucking your best friend’s ex.

                                                            ——

“What’s wrong with you this morning?”

Hyejin eyed you skeptically, innspecting your bodry from head to toe.

“I couldn’t sleep very well last night,” you partially admitted to your best friend. There was no way in hell you were going to tell your best friend you had a dream of being fucked thoroughly by her ex-boyfriend. Oh and let’s not forget the part where he told you he loved you.

“Yeah it looks like you had one fucked up night,” she mused out and you just ignored her for her sake. Instead you dragged your way to the fridge, trying to find something edible to have at four in the morning. Once you finally found your culprit, Frosted Flakes, you decided you needed some bananas in it as well. 

“Why are you still up?” You asked with a mouthful of cereal. Your best friend just kept analyzing you since you knew you probably looked quite sad and vulnerable right now in her eyes.

She immediately grabbed herself a bowl and joined you. “Joon left an hour ago and I just took a shower. I have today off so no worries.”

Regardless if she didn’t have today off, she still would be staying up until her shift started. She was that insanely chaotic.

“Anyway, Joon is coming over so—“

You were already groaning. Whenever Namjoon came over that meant you either slept with your headphones plugged in with all of the high volume on, or spending the night somewhere else that wouldn’t require you to throw yourself out your bedroom window. Namjoon and Hyejin were just so unnecessarily loud when fucking, it was irritating and ruining your much adored sleeping hours. Not to mention that Namjoon was also one of your best friends. In fact, you and that absolute clumsy moron were practically sibling soulmates. So it was definitely weird seeing both of your worlds just collide into one.

“I’m not in the mood to spend the night somewhere else.”

“Actually he’ll be spending the weekend next week so,” she paused, taking your reaction in. You didn’t know what kind of expression she saw on your face, but she hastily began to launch into an apologetic but semi aggressive rant. “Look, his water is gonna be out for the weekend cause he’s reconstructing his bathroom. He was already going to stay at this expensive ass hotel, but I’m not letting him when he can crash here with me.  Also, y/n, he’s your best friend.”

You never had a problem with your best friend’s lovers that is until she started dating the ever so artistically, beautifully, and charismatic man named Kim Taehyung, but that’s another story to tell. Namjoon was a great guy. He was sweet, poetic, and everything a man should be but he was also careless, clumsy, and a complete nimrod. Yeah he was your best friend, but it just weird it you out that these two suddenly started dating a year ago. You remember passing out with Namjoon on your bed after your little drinking session of cheap vodka had escalated. Namjoon was all wrapped up in your covers and you were thrown on him, mouth wide open with drool collecting on our pillow. Hyejin had stormed in and immediately raged. If you could color the way her face looked, it would be more along the lines of an angry, magenta red.

She was screaming ‘how could you do this to me?’ and ‘you know what I’ve been through’ but poor Namjoon was still knocked out, snoring his problems away. She tried coming at you and you just ran away screaming at her to fuck off. By the time she got you, Namjoon was widely awake and ripping her off from you, yelling at her to get away from you. The misunderstanding was cleared up, but you never really forgave her for thinking that you could ever betray her like that. Even when she was with Taehyung, you never once tried to get with him. Your friendship with him was just that, a heartbreaking and one side love that had turned into a beautiful friendship.

And then he left without a trace.

 Snapping out of your thoughts, you immediately launched into your list of do’s and don’ts. “He’s not touching my food, he has to pick up after himself, whatever the hell he breaks he’s paying for or I will drive my foot up his ass so far you’re going to be kissing it goodnight instead, okay?” You smiled rather sweetly at her, but she knew you meant business.

Hyejin was already nodding, launching off her chair to throw her arms around your neck in such excitement. Getting to agree to bring boyfriends over was a cautious decision ever since her last relationship. She was more secretive, more reserved, and wouldn’t overshare anymore. That still didn’t change the fact that you both loved each other so much despite everything. However, Namjoon was your best friend first, so any stupid ideas that she got were immediately shot down by Namjoon and you. Which brings you back to this predicament.

“Thank you, thank you, and thank you!” She squealed in your ear and as much as you loved her, having her scream in your ear at nearing five in the morning wasn’t something you wanted to endure anymore.

“Uh huh,” you sighed and gently pried her off you. With that, you finished your bowl, threw it inside the sink, and bid her a goodnight before you dragged yourself back to bed. You figured tomorrow was going to be a long day at work.

And it was.

 It was filled with reports, your dickhead of a boss assigning you the worse people to work on a proposal that was due next week, and honestly you couldn’t believe you chose this field instead of something you would genuinely like to do. Society had its way of bending you over and fucking you over completely. Thinking about that, you then realized you hadn’t actually fucked anyone in over a year again. It reminded you just how lonely and saddened life had become for you. It only reminded you of him and how much you missed him wholeheartedly. It was honestly pathetic. Stop, you told yourself. Just stop it already.

 If live was a canvas, everything would be shaded in with the grayest and darkest of colors. Splattered paint would angrily cover it, and to soothe the pain it would be with gentle strokes of the softest of white. There were moments in life that you knew the soft white color would turn into a variety of others, it’s just the timing wasn’t right now. And as you wandered aimlessly around the museum, you started noticing your surroundings once you turned the corner and saw a more colorful perspective of art being displayed on the wall. Every single painting looked the same in a sense, but you knew in your eyes that it wasn’t.

 Each stroke, each color, each scheme represented something that the artist itself was trying to portray to themselves, or anyone feeling the same as them. It differed from love, anger, fervor passion, and distinguishable sadness that welcomed you so warmly. It wasn’t until you reached the last painting, when you slowly came to a stop. Everything about it screamed at you, demanding your utmost attention. Because even as the brightest of colors covered the canvas, the picture itself contrasted it. There was two figures. You presumed it was a male and female. One was in the middle shinning as brightly as they can, and the other remained in the shadows. But as you inspected it closer, you realized that it hid in the shadows of her colors, watching her. A hand was spread out and you could see on the palm of his hand was split with her colors, and the other with what seemed to be his.

It was breathtakingly beautiful. And it reminded you of someone so much that you felt something spill from your cheeks. Your hand was trembling as you tried to stop the drops that were falling and you claimed it was just raining. It was.

 It was severely raining inside your soul.

 And then your eyes glanced over at the artist’s name: Silly by Vante

You blinked once, then twice, and then finally you had to lean against the wall to sustain yourself properly. There was no way in hell this could be happening to you right now. There was no way in hell that life could be this cruel to you in this instant. But the shaking in your fingers, the quivering in your lips, and the sobs that were lodged in your throat begged to differ. All you wanted was a distraction, not a wakening alarm. So before you lost your shit, you tried gathering the last remaining bits and pieces of yourself before you lost those too since it had taken ages to collect those when he had left.

You felt a presence behind you and you just wanted to get out of there and breathe. Time felt as if it was slowing down, the ticking began to commence.

A painting by him? Here? Here?

“y/n?”

Your bags slipped from your fingertips. 

You didn’t turn around.

By the sound of just their voice you already knew who it was and honestly you felt your heart and mind were just playing tricks on you. Your mind knew what your heart needed and it was simply giving it to you in a sense of a vague memory of him. You were going batshit crazy.

“I know it’s you,” he spoke up after a moment and that confirmed it.

He was actually here. He was actually here.

You hadn’t seen him, or even spoken to him after your best friend broke up with him. He had vanished out of your life the second they were done and even though you told yourself several of times that he wasn’t yours to even yearn for, your heart didn’t give a fuck. In the wake of an ending relationship, a friendship had blossomed between you and him. So in a way it was like a break up to you too. You had lost someone special in your life and you didn’t even get to say goodbye. You didn’t get to say goodbye to him, or your pending feelings for him.

No matter how hard you tried to sustain yourself, you didn’t want to turn around. Because once you turned, you’d have to face reality and you weren’t exactly prepared for that in that instant. Your eyes were set on the wall, tears prickling. Don’t cry you weak little bitch. Suck it up and breathe. It was the beating of your heart and the jitters that reminded you that you were indeed alive and still breathing despite everything. And it was screaming, ‘he’s back’ with such intensity. With a deep breath, you slowly turned around.

He was carrying shopping bags in both hands. His hair was matted up as usual, but there was now a gleam in his eyes like never before. You noticed his hair had gotten longer, strands of dark brown hair covered his eyes. His beige cotton sweater complimented his skin so well and fit so loosely on him. Not to mention those brown plaid pajama pants that he would wear every day because he claimed ‘it’s fashionable these days’ and ‘look! It matches everything I wear’. But despite his physical exterior changing, the way his eyes shone immediately whispered to your aching heart that he hadn’t.

Taehyung. My Taehyung.

Out of all the days he could show up, it just happened to be that same day he had surprised you in your dreams. It happened to be the day you had wandered inside the museum you had met him in two years ago.

 “Beautiful isn’t it?”

 You were utterly speechless. “I’ve always loved the concept of the sun, moon, and the stars. It’s sort of a love triangle between them. You know the story of how the sun died every night just to let her breathe? Well, the stars make the essence of the sky. It unifies them, ties them together and makes them even more beautiful. But people think of stars separately. They don’t see the stars with the sun and the moon even though they should be.”

 The stranger turned to look at you. “Have you ever considered that the stars alone don’t need the sun and the moon? They are their own separate entity. They shine brightly with, or without them.”

 “They are uniquely beautiful. And the whole romance between the sun and the moon is bittersweet since yeah they were once together in a sense, but they don’t complement each other. The stars do.”

   You had missed him so dearly and now he was just a few feet away from you, looking toned and practically glowing. In that second, you felt your body go numb and haywire simultaneously. All of these thoughts whirled inside your mind as your body stay put in its place because he was right there. All you wanted to do was cry and be welcomed back into his arms. Your heart yearned for it as all of the memories that you created with him overwhelmed you once again.

  It was summer again.

You were laying on his lap, babbling away some nonsense since you were drunk. Taehyung on the other hand was just amusingly watching you, responding back to you and even questioning you more. Your best friend had already fallen asleep on his bed, leaving you both alone in the dark as you both softly whispered to each other. Empty glasses of wine stood on the outdoor table along with a jar of weed, and there was your bong sitting beside it.

“You’re so cute,” he bopped your nose and you rolled your eyes. You tried swatting his hand away but instead he just pinched the bridge of your nose softly.

“If I’m so cute, then why am I still single,” you whined out and Taehyung just softly chuckled. “You know, whenever I see you and Hyejin I get a little sad.”

“I’m sorry.” He immediately responded, but you hadn’t caught that.

“But it’s because I’m reminded that I don’t have anyone to kiss, or hug, or even share something with. I mean for fucks sake, I haven’t fucked anyone since—” you counted your fingers and whined some more upon realizing just how long you’ve been dry. “Oh my god it’s been a year.”

Taehyung quirked an eyebrow. “I find that very hard to believe.”

“Me too.” You agreed and Taehyung remained silent. Curious upon his silence, you glanced up to see him intently gazing down at you. It was as if he was caught in his own thoughts. His finger delicately traced the underside of your chin rather gently and as you both continued to speak in hush whispers to each other, you wondered what went on that pretty head of his when it came to you. Deep in your heart you knew the reason why you hadn’t let another person touch you intimately. They just weren’t him.

  The way you both greeted each other had become a routine even.

“Hey there, silly.” He greeted you quite enthusiastically, arm slinging over your shoulders. He pulled you towards his side and you made yourself comfortable, a smile already laced on your lips.

“Hey there you twat,” you happily chirped out but Taehyung had another set of plans since he teasingly ruffled your hair and you whined, hitting his chest rather harshly. 

“Oh no, no!” He was quick in stopping the both of you. From behind, you could feel his warm hands slide over your sides before wrapping his arms around you, spinning you around as you began laughing and telling him to stop.

 The feeling of his hands on your skin kept you wide awake for nights.

   “What are we doing tonight by the way?”

You glanced over at Taehyung who was already awaiting your answer. The both of you were on the couch side by side. There was a respective amount of distance between the two of you in the beginning, but then a fighting footsie battle had initiated and you were leaning on his shoulder now, watching him play on your Playstation 4.

“You sir,” you tapped his nose to try and gain his attention. “Have a date with Hyejin tonight, remember?”

He squinted, tilted his head back, and made a motion of opening his mouth to bite your finger rather than answering. You just shoved him back by the push of your hand on his forehead. It was after a couple of minutes later that he decided to say, “That doesn’t mean we can meet later? I wanna show you my new playstation.” He then pouted as you started shaking your head.

“Can’t. She told me she had a special surprise for you so,” you smiled, though it didn’t exactly meet your eyes this time. “I’ll be staying at Namjoon’s tonight.”

“Oh,” His movements on the controller suddenly slowed down, attention span lost. “Namjoon? You mean that dorky professor who everyone has a crush on?”

“You mean the dweeb that is my best friend?” you corrected him, finding it amusing that everyone around you did in fact have a crush on Namjoon. “Yeah.”

“Right.” He drawled out, clearly not buying it. 

“Anyways, I have to get ready for work soooo,” You ruffled his hair and quickly ran past him because you knew he would follow you and tickle you endlessly. From behind your closed door, you heard him whine in return.

“MY HAIR.”

“Have fun on your date!” You shouted instead, softly giggling to yourself like a school girl.

“I’ll try.” He quipped and you were left there wondering if he meant it, or if he was genuinely playing around.

 And then, there was that one night that changed everything around you.

Hyejin had been pestering you about your love life, trying to interrogate you as to why you were always so single and lonely. It did aggravate you at times. It felt as if she was pouring salt and lime all over your wound, but there was one night where she had set up a blind date with someone who you were definitely not interested in knowing at all. She wanted you to tag along to her and Taehyung’s date. You obviously declined, but it’s not like she ever listened in the first place.

“I don’t wanna go,” you told her, but she was not having it.

“I worked hard for this night and you Miss are not going to ruin it.”

“Dude, just go without me. I’m sure you rather not spend time alone with Tae.”

She stopped swirling the batter she was keen on making for pancakes. Something about the way she glanced over you, as if something was at the tip of her tongue should have raised concerned. Slowly, she prompted, “Tae?”

You on the other hand were carelessly flipping over your notebook, trying to review your notes for exam season that was quickly approaching. “Your boyfriend?” you told her, pouting once you realized your head was hurting beyond belief.

“I never knew you and him were that close,” she noted, eyebrows furrowing a bit.

“Well, that’s what happens when you’re a third wheel in your best friend’s relationship,” you carelessly joked, but she didn’t laugh. She just stayed silent.

You figured it was the nerves since she always tended to get very easily irritated whenever something important was coming up. Her anniversary with Taehyung was just weeks away and she was racking her brain for ideas. And since you were her best friend, you obviously had to hear it and even voice your opinions. It was definitely some cruel and twisted joke. However, after that day she never spoke to you about Taehyung anymore.

Then the date night came.

“Tae is here,” you notified Hyejin once you received his text to open the door.  She was prancing around the room, trying to make sure she looked like perfection when in reality she already was. Your best friend was honestly beautiful inside and out, no wonder Taehyung was so in love with her.

You were about to step out to let Taehyung in to let her continue getting ready when Hyejin spread out her arm, stopping you from walking out of your room. You blinked twice, trying to understand what was happening.

“My boyfriend is here so I go first,” she tried joking, passing past you before you could walk out into the living room. You simply stepped aside and signaled her to walk before you. You figured it was just the nerves.

“You look gorgeous,” you overheard Taehyung tell Hyejin. She giggled quite loudly and you glanced over your phone, definitely not having it tonight. Maybe you could pretend you were sick?

“Where’s y/n?” Taehyung suddenly asked, his deep voice making its way into your heart.

At the sound of your name slipping past his lips, your nerves simmered down. You could do it. It was just one night that you had to endure. Everything would be okay. Without a much glance at yourself, you began walking into the living room to accompany them. You were texting Wheein and Yongsun, trying to find their encouragement words as motivation for tonight.

“Wow,” was what made you look up from your phone as soon as you stepped foot inside the living room. Wow indeed. Taehyung was so insanely handsome in rendered you speechless. His short hair had been permed like he had told you he would do it and you wondered how it would feel like against your fingers. He wore a light grey long overcoat that covered the creamy-white dress shirt that molded to his body like second skin. His dress pants made his ass stand out and you noted the rings that decorated his hand so prettily. His pretty dark brown eyes was all that you could think of in that moment.

“We’re matching,” Taehyung grinned, eyes firmly set on your eyes now.

You glanced down at yourself and laughed, because yes, you both were matching. A creamy white champagne high low dress complimented your body. The straps hung loose on your arms where you decided to put a bracelet and to compliment it you wore rings on your fingers. The jacket that you had on was a light grey color and your curly hair had been pinned up by the sides.

Taehyung’s grin was endless that it made your heart flutter.

“You look really beautiful,” he said and you wondered if the smile you instantly let on your face screamed the evident feelings you had for him.

“She would have looked better in another dress.” Hyejin spoke up, eyes raking your body from head to toe. “Also those heels are old and worn out. You wanna wear some of mine instead?  You know the ones that Taehyung gave to me?”

“No,” you shook your head, still smiling. “I wouldn’t want them to get dirty, or worse trip and break them.”

Taehyung’s grin slowly morphed into a disappointed frown. He glanced over at his girlfriend, eyebrow quirked. In return you glanced her way and then back at Taehyung who seemed to be getting irritated as each minute passed.

“So, are we just gonna stare at each other, or can we leave already? Your date is already waiting for you over there, y/n.” She said, eagerly signaling you to walk out before them.

Taehyung began coughing, hands turning an awful white from how hard he was curling his fist. And Hyejin immediately started spluttering out, “Babe, are you okay? Would a kiss make it better?”

And that was your cue for you to let them be. You grabbed Taehyung’s keys from the couch and then you simply told them you would wait in the car, leaving them inside. They took quite a while to come down, but once they joined you inside you noticed there was a certain tension between them, and it was starting to suffocate you.

“Oh, fuck I forgot my purse in my apartment. y/n, go get it.”

“No,” you flatly responded. “You go get it. It’s cold and I’m being dragged out to this, remember?”

“Boo,” she pouted and then sighed heavily. “I guess we’re not going anywhere then.”

“Hyejin,” Taehyung suddenly spoke out, his patience wearing thin. “Are you good? Why are you acting so bratty lately? If y/n doesn’t wanna go then—”

“Leave her out of this,” she gritted out, surprising you momentarily. “She is fine. I’m the one who is not. I’m fucking cold, you know, your girlfriend? So can you go get my purse and my jacket?”

Taehyung inhaled deeply, face remaining stoic before he calmly exited out of the car. She watched him slowly walk back up the stairs and you remained silent for a bit, trying to figure it out how to approach your best friend without pissing her off furthermore.

“Hyejin, what’s wrong?”

“I’m fine, y/n.” She snapped and you bit down on your lip, restraining yourself from provoking her. The last thing you needed was a fight between the two of you. He came back after ten minutes and once he started driving, you sighed. Hyejin started talking to him then, animatedly telling him how the guy was a perfect for you and she couldn’t wait for you to meet him. She even joked about getting rid of you finally.

“Now Taehyung will be able to finally spend the night again.”

Except her plans backfired for that night since your blind date didn’t have the nerve to cancel last minute. Though that didn’t hurt you as much as watching them together in front of you. Hyejin clung on to Taehyung, seductively muttering nonsense into his ear but his eyes were set on you. Yeah having to endure them together was something you had to put up with since that was your best friend, but just the realization that he’ll never be yours to love wholeheartedly did the trick that night.

You remember excusing yourself and rushing into the bathroom stall where your tears were hidden from everyone in that moment. You clung on to your dress, eyes blurry as you felt your heart break further more. Your back was against the stall and you were huddled into your own bitter demise because why? Out of everyone in this goddamn world did you have to fall for someone who belonged to someone else? 

“Get yourself together, bitch.” You sniffled out, trembling hands beginning to wipe away your tears. “You’re no pussy, hoe.” 

Once you repeatedly told yourself that mantra, you gathered your shit together temporarily. You hastily splashed water on your face, trying to erase evidence of your downfall since you couldn’t handle looking at yourself anymore. After a couple of minutes of just resting your forearms on the sink, head between your arms, you reminded yourself that you could just go home. You would excuse yourself from their date, leave in an Uber, and go to Namjoon’s since you didn’t want to handle Hyejin. Not whenever you were so close to breaking.

The moment you stepped foot outside though, you spotted Taehyung pacing back and forth, talking to himself. He was running his fingers through his hair, tugging at it insistently.

“Tae?”

He stopped at the sound of your voice, hands falling to his sides as he turned to face you.

“Hey there silly,” he softly spoke upon seeing you. He was quick to approach you and you allowed him to pull you close into his arms, inhaling his sweet scent. You allowed yourself the comfort as his hands caressed your back. “I’m sorry she put you up to this. I told her you weren’t comfortable.”

You allowed yourself to curl up further into his embrace, hands sliding underneath his arms, digging into his shoulder blades. You felt as if you were crumbling and he was here collecting your pieces, helping you remain intact for a little longer.

“It’s okay, I’m just tired really.” You croaked out, genuinely feeling drained in that moment. “I’m just tired of constantly having to fight myself for something that is out of my control.”

“We’re leaving okay? I’m going to take you to that stupid noodle place you love so much and play that dumb board game that you’ve been wanting us to play. I think we have some left over face masks, too. And of course your favorite thing in the world?”

“Weed?” you hopefully asked and Taehyung just laughed.

“On a serious note,” he began murmuring it out, “I’m sorry you had to deal with that unsympathetic asshole, but in reality I’m sorry for him. He missed out on an amazing woman who lights up her surroundings with just a glance of her eyes.”

“You’re too kind sometimes, Kim Taehyung,” you softly told him. Please stop.

He slowly bent down, eyes set on you now. His hands framed your face so tenderly and you swore fate was cruel to you. “I’m being 100 percent honest with you right now. You are such an amazing person and I—”

He suddenly halted. You could feel the way his hands curled around your face, fingertips slowly tracing your skin. The way he was gazing at you and tenderly touching you made your heart flutter. It made forgetting him ridiculously harder than it already was.

“If I were an artist, I wouldn’t hesitate to make as many portraits as it takes to make you realize just how beautiful you are.”

“But you are an artist,” you immediately interject, not having it. Taehyung was an incredible artist, but he always claimed he was the contrary. He didn’t really see the talent that he possessed, but in your eyes he was the next Van Gogh. After all, he had painted your world in a variety of colors.

He laughed softly to himself, and instead of saying more, he simply pulled you back into his arms. The moment you felt his lips trace your head something strange had happened. As he held you in his embrace, your fingers curled into his shirt, the desire to kiss him becoming incredibly stronger than remembering that he wasn’t yours. But as he reassured you with the sweetest of words, you realized you were utterly and irrevocably in love with Kim Taehyung.

 It was a few weeks later after the date night when Taehyung had called you at exactly seven in the afternoon. You weren’t alone in the apartment since Hyejin was preparing herself for the ‘happiest night of her life’ as she claimed. She was bragging and constantly telling you about it to the point where your heart and mind connected to tuning her out whenever she did. Instead, your thoughts rewind it back to that night. That night when you realized just how deeply your feelings for him were coursing through your veins. Ever since then, you hadn’t seen him.

Then as soon as you were tucked inside your covers, heartbroken, and ready for bed, his unexpected call came through. You didn’t even say hello before he was sputtering out, “Can you come over? Please? I-I need, um, it’s an emergency.”

He hung up after that. All kinds of scenarios formed in your mind in that instant. Was he hurt? Did he finally realized he no longer wanted you in his life? Maybe he needed help in picking out his outfit for the perfect night tonight. So with your pjs on, you slid on a hoodie and secretly left without telling your best friend anything. Either way she didn’t notice.

“You actually came,” Taehyung spoke up, sounding weak and even relieved in a sense.

You mustered up a tiny, but genuine closed lip smile. “Of course, dummy.”

“I thought you were ignoring me,” he said, pausing afterwards to see you. His eyes trailed your body from head to toe, a tiny grin replacing the worried frown he had earlier.

“Shut it,” you immediately told him, huffing. Yes, you were wearing mickey mouse pajama pants, and yes Taehyung was grinning widely now.

“This isn’t even about me so—” you stopped talking once you realized just how distraught he really seemed. “Tae, what the hell happened to you?”

His hair was everywhere, dark heavy bags underlined his eyes, and all over his clothes was splattered paint. Without even intending so, you quickly approached him. Your hands were framing his face before you could detain yourself, eyes roaming his features. He had purple, green, pink, gold, and blue paint adorning his handsome face.

“Hey,” with a soft whisper, you demanded, “talk to me.”

He simply responded back with his beautiful, signature, boxy smile. “I rather show you instead.”

Confused, you glanced up at him and he just pulled you closer to him. His hand pressed against the back of your head, hugging you fully now. And you just complied with your hearts desires and inhaled deeply his scent. Your hands tentatively wrapped around his sides, ear placed directly against his beating heart.

“Thank you for coming,” he softly spoke to you and you hummed in peace. “You made me realize what I finally need to do now.”

Of course, after all, you were in love with him. You would do anything in order to retain that beautiful smile of his, even if it meant breaking your own heart in the process. Because the person who was responsible for his happiness, for that smile, and for his heart was someone else.

“Come,” his voice rumbled throughout his chest and you nodded, your heart sighing. He was pulling away from you, slowly, and you found yourself not wanting to let go. You found yourself wishing you didn’t feel this way about your friend, about your confidant, and about your best friend’s boyfriend but the heart wants what it wants.

“Someone missed me,” Taehyung mused out, glancing down at you. His arms immediately went back around your body, wrapping you up so warmly against him in a way that made your heart stammer beyond control.

“As much as I love this,” he chuckled, his deep, honey like voice sounding like a melody in your ears. “I’ve been working on this for weeks and it’s really important.”

“Okay.” You let go of him, reminding yourself where your place should be. You shyly glanced up at him and found him already looking at you. He didn’t say anything else, instead, his fingers tentatively interlocked with yours.

The feeling of his hand sliding and interlacing with your own, only enhanced everything around you. You felt dizzy and lightheaded from just being near him, but now he was holding your hand as he led you through his apartment.

Taehyung unlocked a door that had always been secured. He didn’t even allow Hyejin to see what was in there, much less go into the said room. You slowly followed behind, curious eyes taking in every detail. All around the three walls, paintings were hung. The only light that was being portrayed was by the wall to wall sliding doors. The room was painted with beige colors, and next to the doors you could see pillows and blankets strewn. Alongside stood bottles of water, wine, and his color palette that had been heavily used judging by the colors that were grimy and mixed together.

“Okay but these paintings are beautiful as fuck, holy shit.” You were in absolute awe that you let go of his hand first. “Can I?” you whispered out, unsure if it was okay to taint his pretty art with your touch.

He simply smiled.

So you went around the room, curious eyes taking in every detail because Taehyung had taken seconds, minutes, hours, days, or even weeks out of his life to pour his soul into these canvases and convert them into his own art. You gazed in fascination since he managed to mix every color together, creating these contracting meshes into one. It depicted him so well, and you felt an overwhelming pride upon seeing these because he finally painted.

It was the last painting that made you stop and really take time and depth into analyzing it.

“Do they remind you of something?” He was behind you, probably just a couple of inches away from you since you could feel his warm breath fan the back of your neck.

You tilted your head, trying to decipher what it meant. The painting was eccentric from the start. In the background the colors were shaded in dark monotone colors but in the center of the painting there was a figure that resembled a woman that was outlined with soulful colors. Hues of pinks, blues, yellow, green, and everything in between surrounded the figure that happened to have their eyes closed with a smile. As you sank to your knees to get a closer view, you traced the stars in the background with your fingertips. Something about it reminded you of something but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it yet. Stars? The moon and the sun were parallel to each other. The stars were everywhere though, outshining them both in a sense. An overwhelming emotion clouded your senses once seeing the painting as a whole. The woman was painted beautifully.

“It was the first time we met,” he quietly explained and you felt the air in your lungs rapidly leave your body. “At the art exhibit. I remember you telling me about how you’re stupidly obsessed with the concept of stars, the moon, and the sun.”

“Is that...” you swallowed thickly, hysteria bubbling up inside of you. No, no, it couldn’t be what you were thinking.

“Read the back of it,” he softly spoke behind you.  

“I-I,” you started blubbering out, your eyesight momentarily blurring for a second. As your finger traced the stars, you felt the sob lodged in your throat threatening to spill out.

Silly.

“What’s wrong?” Taehyung was quick to pick up on your mannerisms. He seemed concerned upon seeing the tears in your eyes once you turned around to face him.

“You idiot,” you simply muttered out before launching yourself at him. Arms winded around his neck and Taehyung softly chuckled before wrapping his strong arms around you. You inhaled his scent, finding comfort in his arms and just him overall.

“Thank you,” your voice was muffled out by his clothing. “Thank you.”

“It’s yours, if you want it.” He softly spoke out, chin on top of your head. His thumb was rubbing soothing circles on to your exposed skin, humming along to whatever song was on his mind in that moment.

You simply nodded, afraid if you spoke something else would end up happening in that moment. Your quivering lips ghosted over his exposed skin, hot breath fanning against his chest. His movements stopped suddenly, and you could feel him inhale sharply. Your fingers were digging into his sides, tears beginning to stain his shirt now.

“I—” you choked out, not really finding the right words to say to him.  

“Please don’t cry,” he begged you, his hands cupping your cheeks. You could feel his hot breath fan against your lips. His nose nudged against yours and you felt a dizzying spell overwhelm your soul upon being so close. He was tantalizing you without even meaning to. Just by the way his breath ghosted your face, your mind had wiped clean your conscious. He was so close. He was just there. His fingers were tangling into your hair, unspoken words being desperately told with just a flickering of eyes between the two of you.

“You are so undeniably, bewitchingly, ethereally beautiful.” He softly confessed against your mouth. You felt the murmur of his lips against yours and it just enhanced his lovely words into your heart. The pad of his finger softly ghosted over your bottom lip and you didn’t realize how utterly close the both of you were until you felt the erratic beating of his heart. Your fingers wandered up his arms, suddenly stopping once they were around his neck.

“y/n, I—” he breathed out, his lips slowly and just inches away from finally meeting yours. Your eyes were fluttering to a close, almost allowing yourself to finally dive head into what was Kim Taehyung, but just as your heart almost gave up on you, your mind thought of something immediately.

“Hyejin,” you threw out, eyes widening. Hyejin. Images of your best friend flickered in your brain, the red warning flags finally slapping you back to reality. A reality where Kim Taehyung was not yours and will never be yours. His heart belonged to someone else.

“Oh fuck,” he suddenly blurted out as you were pushing him away from you. The both of you instantly fell apart in that moment. Shame quickly took a whole of you now and the mortification and guilt was just eating you away as you tried to avoid Taehyung’s gaze.

“I think it’s time for me to go,” you shakily said, your heart breaking with each word you uttered out.

Taehyung had his eyes screwed shut, his hands hastily tugging at the roots of his hair in what seemed desperation. “I, uh, I actually have to meet up with her.” He said as an afterthought, and then his eyes widened. “Oh fuck, I have to go pick her up in twenty minutes.”

He glanced your way and you simply did not look at him at all. After all, you were just seconds away from kissing him and rendering straight into his arms. Your feelings had begun to control you and that had become incredibly dangerous now. You knew deep in your heart that you needed to get away from him because you were sure the next time you wouldn’t remember Hyejin. But that’s what happens when you’re trapped with the person you’re in love with. Feelings tend to tangle you up, choking you up until you’re forced to breathe because you’re suffocating on the inside from all the kept up emotions.

Despite everything, you were already demanding him, “Taehyung, go get showered and dressed.” You didn’t even spare him a glance as you walked past him. Your hands were trembling, head whirling, and broken pieces leading from Taehyung’s hands to wherever you were heading into now.

“Hey, wait.” He was trailing after you, hand encasing your arm to stop you. He held you back, managing to spin you halfway from the sudden momentum. His eyes were pleading, feet unconsciously nearing you. “Please, look at me. We need to talk abo—”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hold you back like that.” You blurted out, your trembling fingers taking off his hand from your skin. It was too much. You wouldn’t even dare to look him straight in the eye because you knew you were bound to cry and spill everything that your heart was just aching you to at this point.

“What?” he sounded incredulous, eyebrows furrowing as he slowly said the following words, “Don’t you ever apologize for spending time with me. I love being around you.”

Despite everything, you meekly wondered, “Really?”

His fingertips were already marking their way into your skin, comforting you without him meaning to. “So much that you make me forget life altogether.”

It was so messy. You wondered when everything in your life had become such havoc. How everything had spiraled out of control and you no longer were in reign over your emotions. The moment Kim Taehyung pranced into your life, you knew you were bound to be fucked. You didn’t expect to fall so in love with your best friend’s boyfriend. You just didn’t expect such heartbreak in return after this moment.

“Taehyung,” you croaked out, tears slipping past your cheeks. “I—”

“What is it?” He tried nearing you, but with each step he took you backtracked. “Just tell me already. I know you fee—”

“Hyejin,” was all you could muster out. You couldn’t do that to her. No way.

I love you, but you are not mine to love Kim Taehyung. At least, not in this lifetime.

You flung his hand away from you, already walking away from him, muttering out, “I’ll see you around.”  

 That same night you trailed your broken hearted soul back to Namjoon’s penthouse. His keys dangled on your fingers, mocking you with each step you took towards your own demise. He wasn’t there so that made it even worse. Namjoon had been your comfort, best friend, and soulmate since the first time you both met. In fact, your friendship was stronger than yours and Hyejin’s combined. Unfortunately though, he wouldn’t be there to hold you tonight and you decided it was okay. You figured you’d cook for the both of you whenever he decided to come back from girlfriend number four.

You knew going back to your place was a big, fat, fucking no. After all, Taehyung and Hyejin were probably celebrating their first grand anniversary together and you didn’t want to be there. No one wanted to witness who they were irrevocably in love with be someone else. It just reminded you of the heartbreak, sadness, and tears all over again. Sighing, you made your way inside, going into Namjoon’s room to retrieve your left over clothes from last time to change into. You didn’t want to be in clothes where Taehyung had left his mark on.

Fortunately for you though, Namjoon had arrived quite early from his date.

“I thought you weren’t going to be here.” You said with a mouth full of mint chocolate ice cream. Even though Namjoon despised that flavor with all the fiber in his body, he still always went out to retrieve some from you.

“I had a feeling you’d be a mess tonight so I brought this,” he said, lifting a recycling bag. His dimples were showcasing, eyes slightly squinted from how cutely he was smiling. “I went grocery shopping so we can make pasta!”

“Oh, well I made your favorite a while ago as well. How about you roll up this—” you brought up the baggy that was filled with weed. “And serves us some wine while I cook the pasta?”

He sighed, hand over heart as he melodramatically said, “Sounds like utter heaven.”

And that’s exactly what happened. He sat across from you, legs crossed with a blunt in his hand as he waited for his pasta to slightly cool down. You were already gone, loving the hazy effect it had on you. Soft music was playing and you were doing okay, but then a particular song came on that made you remember him all over again.

“I don’t know the situation between you and him, but it has you fucked over so badly. I’ve never seen you so head over heels over someone, much less a man.” Namjoon suddenly spoke up after watching you. There were tears already brimming in your eyes as you tried to blink them back.

“If I told you who it was you wouldn’t be this nice to me.” You quietly muttered out, avoiding his curious gaze. But you kept on forgetting who you were talking to after all. Namjoon was always one step ahead of you, he was only giving you space.

“You are my best friend, you idiot.” He fiercely reminded you, arms wrapping around you. “I know you like the back of my hand so whoever it is I know you’re not doing it on purpose to hurt yourself, or anyone else.”

“He’s just different. I don’t know what made me just fall into oblivion for him, but he makes me feel safe, secured, and at home.”

“But?”

You glanced down at your hands, heart aching to the point where you just wanted it to stop. “But he’s not mine, Namjoon. He belongs to someone else, and they are just so in love with each other.”

“It’s Taehyung isn’t it.” He didn’t ask, rather he stated it. At this point you weren’t going to deny it. After all, you were hell bent on not seeing him anymore after today. It was for the best. Your silence however spoke rather than your own words could. Tears were staining your cheeks, a choked up sob escaping from your lips. You hastily covered your mouth with your hands to prevent anymore, eyes screwing shut as the pain coursed through your body.

“C’mere,” Namjoon gestured you towards him and you instantly wrapped yourself around him like a koala. You leaned your head against his chest, your eyes fluttering to a close as he began to rock you in his arms, whispering sweet nothings into your ear.  You wondered how you had lucked out with finding Namjoon. If you hadn’t, you wouldn’t feel and be this safe in his arms. This love you felt for him reminded you of how strong your bond was with him. He’d do anything to protect you just as you would as well. And right now seeing you sob against his chest broke your soulmate apart.

“Love is a bitch, y/n. But one thing I know is that if it’s meant to be, then it’s worth fighting for…the right way that is. Right now I know you feel this intense fervor of love you have for him won’t go away anytime soon, but I promise you it is.  Put some distance between you and him. If you find yourself going back to him, then all I can tell you is to talk to him. Talking does wonders, baby. ”

“It’s easier said than done. Also, Hyejin is my best friend and are you forgetting that Taehyung is still in love with her?”

He remained quiet. If Namjoon voiced out his real thoughts, he was sure he would just ignite the fire within your heart. So he sufficed with just holding you in his arms because this was the support you needed in this moment. You needed someone who could hold you and see through you. He figured Taehyung had dug deep beneath the depths of your secured heart and he wanted nothing than to go and ruin their precious little celebration. Regardless, he just hoped Taehyung was taken out of your life so you could get a whole of yourself again.

After midnight, your phone had begun to ring insistently. You were deep asleep, curled up in his covers as Namjoon stared at your phone. ‘Taehyungieee’ was the name flashing on the screen. Namjoon wondered what he wanted from you. No sane boyfriend would be calling their girlfriend’s best friend this late. He wondered just how you had developed these feelings for him and the answer was staring at him right on the face. The picture it flashed along with his name was you and him. You were on Taehyung’s back, arms lazily wrapped around him as you did bunny ears on him. His eyes were closed, but the huge grin plastered on his face made it evident that he was incredibly happy around you.  

So Namjoon grabbed a hold of your phone and answered the call.

He was already sputtering out nonsense as soon as he answered the call. “I know it’s late, but I need to tell you something. I—I, I did something tonight and the only person who I only want to see in this moment is you. I don’t know what I was thinking, but today just reassured me that you—”

Namjoon was having none of it. “She’s with me, Taehyung.” He sharply cut him off, anger evident in his voice. “So I suggest you to stop playing with her feelings before I personally go over to your place and beat the fuck out of you. I don’t wanna hear any of your bullshit when all you’ve done is hurt her recklessly. Leave her the fuck alone, you don’t deserve her.”

Namjoon hung up. Your phone was tossed somewhere behind him after he deleted the call. He sighed into his hands. Now he knew why. He wondered if Hyejin knew too. He wondered if she was okay because you surely weren’t and you weren’t even his girlfriend. He glanced over at you, wondering when your heartbreak would end.

 A week later, Taehyung had packed up everything and left. And in his wake, he had taken your heart with him too, the red string of your love attached to it, tangling until it was just a huge ball of sorrow.

  And it goes back to now.

It’s him who breaks the silence. You watched as he calmly bent down to drop his bags on the ground and once he stood up again, his dark brown eyes met yours. He seemed hesitant in approaching you at first, but you felt yourself take a step closer to him involuntarily. You honestly could not believe it.

“Taehyung,” you finally acknowledged him, eyes meeting his. The way he gazed at you reminded you of the time in the hallway where he was declaring to you so many beautiful words and you had realized you were fucking in love with him.

He slowly inched closer, his hands twitching at his sides. It was him who took the final step, his arms slowly raising rather tentatively. A flicker of eyes was exchanged between the two of you, almost fleeting. Your fingers were already raising, yearning to touch him because you just had to make sure that this was real. However, the second his hands met your skin, reality had set in. Eyes widened, breathing had halted, and Taehyung’s arms were pulling you into his embrace so desperately. You practically lunged yourself at him, all teary eyed and with quivering lips spilling his name.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you,” he breathed out, his hot breath raising goosebumps all over your body. “And I missed you so much.” He whispered it out, but you heard it so loud and fucking clear. You dug your face into the crook of his neck, hands inches away from the nape of his hair that had gotten longer. Your side was curled up into his, eyes closed to keep the feeling of this moment engraved in your heart.

His hand was placed at the back of your head, keeping you in place in his arms. Your fingers dug into his skin, your mind trying to wrap around the idea that he was indeed here. He was here, and you were finally in his arms once again. His arms were strongly wrapped around your body, pulling you flush against him. His scent was everywhere. It was invading your senses, your way of thinking, and reigniting those feelings that you tried to burn away. Everything was just bubbling up inside and now you had to worry about waiting for it to burst once again.

Your Taehyung was back.

You felt his hand slowly travel down your spine, his fingers tracing every curve of your body before enveloping you in such a tight, vice grip. You could hardly breathe and you didn’t know if it was due to the excitement, or because he was just holding you so close to him so tightly. The beating of his heart was erratic against your chest and you inhaled his scent, not fully believing that he was finally back after such a long period of time.

“You have no idea just how much I wanted to come back every time you came into my mind.”

And then your clouded, foggy mind soon returned all the sorrow, heartbreak, and tears you had suffered all at once. That brief happiness of seeing him, of being reunited with him, and having him hold you like this would never fill up the hole he had dug out of your heart.

“I’m sure you did,” you bitterly bit out at him, remembering the shit he had put you through. No matter how comfortable you felt being in his arms again, you were already pulling away from him. “That definitely seemed like it when you just left and didn’t say anything to me, or anyone for a fact.”

It was too much. Just two years ago he had walked into your life, made you feel butterflies and heartbreak all at once. Two years ago, he had begun dating your best friend and all you could do was play along, pushing a side your own feelings. A year ago, he broke your best friend’s heart and yours simultaneously. And now, he’s back.

“I’m sorry,” his eyes were deeply filled with concern. Those hands gently framed your face, his thumb wiping away a tear that had fallen. “I’m so sorry, please forgive me.”

You just shook your head and laughed a little at the situation you were in. He was pulling you back into his embrace but you just removed his hands from you. He wasn’t allowing you think again. Snapping out of your trance you snarled out, “Just stop! Stop touching me and let me go.”

Taehyung seemed as he had been punched. His grip on you weakened automatically, eyes shining with turmoil trapped in them.

“I’m leaving,” you mustered out, avoiding his gaze once again. You knew if you glanced into those eyes you were going to turn into putty and run back to him like nothing. That was something you didn’t need right now. He couldn’t just prance back into your life without facing the consequences.

“Hey,” he started, his voice filled with despair and urgency. “Please wait, please,” he pleaded and you shook your head, trying to clear his voice from your mind. His hand intertwined with yours, tugging you back to him.

Your eyes widened at the feeling of his fingers interlocking with yours. If you could kiss him right now, you would. Every inch of your body was yearning to pull him and just kiss him because no amount of words would ever put it through your heart just how much you adored this man.

“I’m sorry I left like that, but I’m back now and I want to make things right, okay?” He tried resonating with you, but you figured moving on was the only way to keep you and your poor, fragile heart safe. “Here isn’t the place to talk, but please give me a chance to come back into your life again and explain why I left like that.”

You slowly disentangled your fingers from him and Taehyung faltered. You just grabbed your bags and said, “I can’t let you back into my life, not when it was so hard to let you go when you left me behind so easily.”

 And with that said, Taehyung let you go.

 —-

 Tears spilled down your cheeks, and you knew your eyes were red and swollen, but you hadn’t felt any sort of emotion since he pranced into your life minutes ago. You were a blank canvas, but somehow Taehyung always managed to get you so beautifully painted with the brightest and warmest colors you could ever think of. Streaks of blues, purple, pinkish, orange and yellows hues adorned and blossomed from your soul, evolving as each day passed. All of these colors reminded you of how it felt to be around his presence. Of how it felt to slowly and all at once fall in love with a person.

“What’s wrong with you?” Hyejin murmured out, her arms were wrapped around you. She was leaning her head on your shoulder, eyes curiously gazing at you with worry. “I haven’t seen you this sad since last year.”

A bittersweet smile edged your lips. Of course destiny was cruel. To fall for a man who wasn’t, couldn’t, and still wouldn’t be yours. To be fair, falling for Taehyung came unexpectedly, but yet again everything with him was unexpected and beautiful in a sense that reminded you that you were alive and could feel.

“I’m fine, just tired,” you mumbled out, trying to not let your emotions get the better of you. How could you explain to her that the reason you were crumbling once again was due to the man who broke her heart on the day of their anniversary? 

The day they broke up Hyejin was enthusiastically telling you about how passionate and fulfilling that night was going to be so you spent the night at Namjoon’s again, trying to drown yourself with weed and food. The next day you found your best friend on the couch with makeup stains and the smell of alcohol oozing from her. She never really told you what went down that night but for a while your relationship with her had been strained. There were days where it was just silent. She wouldn’t face you, or even talk to you until a couple weeks passed by. The mentioning of Kim Taehyung was forbidden in the household you both shared together. That unspoken rule was what made everything okay between the two of you again.

“I’ll be back later if Namjoon cancels—”

“No,” you waved her off. “Go and enjoy your weird date with him. I just saw this stupid drama and it has me in my feelings. I’ll be fine. I’ll call Wheein later and see if she wants to get drunk together.”

“Yeah,” She said, grabbing a hold of her purse with a semi disgusted look on her face. “I definitely don’t wanna be here to see that go down like last time.”

“Have fun with Joonie! Tell that moron that I found my Nintendo 64 the other day!”

“He’s going to feel relieved that he didn’t actually break it, or misplaced it as you accused him of.” She narrowed her eyes at you and you simply glanced down at your phone, feeling attacked right now.

“To be fair it wouldn’t be the first time so leaveee me aloneee,” you whined out and Hyejin just shook her head.

“I’ll be back for dinner tomorrow so don’t go anywhere! I’m buying Chinese takeout tomorrow.”

“I’ll be here as long as you buy me food.” You dryly replied, being genuinely honest.

She smiled cutely, waving her finger at you quite adoringly in response. “Done.”

You felt like a proud mother watching her child go into her first day of school since Hyejin was enthusiastically waving at you. She was quick to tell you she loved you before she skipped out the door. A tiny smile managed to make its way on your face. You figured she’d be back in less than five minutes though since she tended to be forgetful at times. As in cue, the doorbell rang and you sighed.

“I asked you if you had your fucking keys and you—” your eyes met with the figure who was not in fact your best friend.

You almost screamed, but conformed to a whisper. “Taehyung?”

Upon seeing him, you immediately stumbled over your feet as you tried to close the door again. Taehyung’s response seemed out of reflex. His arms were already wrapping around you, catching you in seconds before your face could connect with the lovely ground. He held you protectively against his side, his eyes taking in your expression as you glanced up at him in shock.

“I see you haven’t changed one bit.” He retorteed, his voice echoing throughout the hallway corridor. You had forgotten the sound of his voice until you saw him again, and now he was standing outside of your apartment…with his arms around you.

“Hyejin isn’t here.” Your mouth automatically told him. It was always that fucking sentence. Every time he would come over Hyejin would already be at work, or out with her friends, or even going to his place. Taehyung was always at your place though, with or without her in the apartment.

He scoffed, and then began to softly laugh upon seeing your confused expression. “I’m not here for her.”

Oh. Your eyes widened at that. Oh.  His arms had gotten bulkier, his frame broader and you hated that you noticed that within the seconds that he was holding you. You gained footing again and pushed yourself out of his arms, backtracking into your apartment to refrain your dumb self from saying anything stupid.

“I went over to your old apartment last night, but instead I got met with an eccentric Chinese couple.”

You snorted, biting back a venomous retort. “I’m sure you had fun being introduced to their classic rock collection, eh?”

He was watching you, taking your reaction towards him as he carefully spoke. “That and they invited me over to dinner tomorrow since I was so charming in their eyes.”

Your mouth was set on a thin line, expression impassive. “You won’t look so charming once my fist connects with your face if you don’t tell me what you’re doing here.”

Despite that threatening comment, he grinned. “You’ve always been all bark so I highly doubt you’ll do that.”

He was right on that, but the anger you had stored inside you would beg to differ in this case. 

“I’m not here to fight though,” he quickly spoke, noting how you were seconds away from slamming the door on his face right now. “I’m here to say that no amount of words will ever take back what I did to you. I know what I did was unfair to you in every way and I’ll understand if you don’t want me back in your life. But let me tell you something y/n, during that time that I was gone I did a lot of self-thinking and it all led me back to you. The first thing I did once I stepped foot in this country was look for you, which is why I’m here. I’m sorry for leaving like that, for not explaining myself, and for hurting you the way I did.”

“You idiot,” you quietly uttered out before becoming more vocal once the anger seeped in. “I-I, how dare you try to prance into my life like nothing and think that an apology is going to fix everything? You were my person, Taehyung. You broke my heart once I realized that you had left and you weren’t coming back. For a year, I wondered what happened that made you leave me like that and—and—”

You felt your throat begin to burn as tears blurred your eyesight. Damn it. Hold yourself together.

“y/n...”

“You know what?” you sucked in air and blinked back the tears. “I wish you the best in life, but what you did I will never forgive you for.”

You slammed the door in his face with all the force in your body, causing the door to shake. It echoed through your apartment and you couldn’t hear him over the roaring waves of anger that clouded your senses overall. Despite you being so livid, the other part of you wanted nothing more than to open the door and let him inside once again. You knew what side could overpower the other one the moment you could clearly hear him once again.

“y/n, I’m sorry,” his voice cracked and you screwed your eyes shut, fingers curling into the palm of your hand. “Please,” he continued, twisting your heart more. “I’m not asking for forgiveness. I just don’t want to lose you. It was a hell of a year without having you constantly by my side.”

“Liar,” you instantly called his bluff.

You slowly approached the door, hand outstretched towards the door handle. Taehyung was outside your door, it wasn’t a dream anymore that you could wake up from. He was just a few feet away with a barrier between the two of you once again. And then your hand went limp besides your body, eyes screwing to a shut as you tried to allow your brain to do the thinking instead of your heart. Sighing, you simply leaned your forehead against the wooden floor, wanting nothing more than to have his arms around you.

Silence.

You wondered if he had given up and left.

“I’m going to wait here until you decide to open the door.” Nope, he hadn’t.

“I’ll call security.” You immediately bit out and all you heard was a quiet chuckled.

Out of gnawing curiosity, you watched through the peephole as he slid down and sat criss crossed facing your door. His phone sat next to him, faced down. He was simply gazing at your door now, not moving an inch.

“I’ll be waiting.”

You deliberately screamed at yourself to leave him there. You pried your fingers from the door handle, reprimanding yourself over being so incredibly stupid. So instead you occupied yourself with trying to clean, organize, and even fucking cook. But everywhere you went was full of memories of you and him. Despite you moving away from your old apartment, you still had the same couch where you both sat across each other, throwing popcorn, gummy bears, and m&m’s at each other’s mouths. The bed sheets where he had accidentally fallen asleep while you were running your fingers through his hair, listening to him talk about his shitty day at work. The pillows you both had initiated a pillow fight with at three am in the morning. The wine glasses of that summer night where you and he spent hours talking about everything and anything. Even now as you filled up a glass of water to pour it into the pot reminded you of how he would volunteer to help you cook.

“Here, let me just—” he leaned over you, his shirt raising above his belly button as he reached over to grab the glasses for sweet tea. Your eyes flickered over to his exposed skin and the urge to trace your fingers down his abdomen was so immensely strong that it frightened you completely. You felt heat warm up your cheeks as you decided to glance away from his glowing skin and rather turn your eyes towards him. But Taehyung’s gaze was already on you, glasses already in hand.

The proximity between the two of you was numbing to the heart and brain. He was so incredibly close, to the point where you could see the color of his irises. In that moment, your favorite color had gone from yellow to brown in seconds. He was trapping you in, body touching yours. His warmth envelope you and you swore you could count those pretty lashes on his eyes and you would not get tired of it. His eyes flickered down to your lips and you knew you weren’t breathing at this point.

“Strange,” he suddenly cleared his throat, and took a step away from you. He turned away from you and you took in a deep and necessary breath.

“What?” you uttered out, slightly ashamed. He caught you staring and was probably disgusted by you now. Even you were bemused at your sudden urge that hadn’t been there before. What the fuck was going on?

He turned to face you, seeming a bit struck himself. “I suddenly have the urge to paint.”

“Really?” you broke out into a smile, forgetting the moment all together. “Dude, that’s great!”

His awe was transparent as he warmly smiled back at you. “It really is.”

That night you realized Taehyung had begun to sneak his way into your heart. The first ever color to be tentatively painted on the canvas of your heart was the color brown.

 “Can you believe Taehyung has been ignoring me for the past few days?” Hyejin began to ramble on quite angrily. “So you know what I did the other day? I went over his place and he was inside this weird room, locked inside. He came out with paint all over him and proceeded to kick me out of his apartment, claiming he was too tired and busy.”

You continued writing down your notes, trying to stay focus on your assignment.

“…something about finally getting his fucking muse and whatnot. He was telling me about his drought the other night, but I think I fell asleep on him. However, what the fuck? It’s been almost a week now and he’s not even answering my c—”

She suddenly got a phone call and you thanked your lucky stars. Judging from the disappointed look in her face, it was clearly not Taehyung. She still answered the call and finally left you alone in peace.

From: Taehyungieee

I just finished my first ever painting since two years ago

   The cup of water suddenly slipped from your numb fingers and crashed all over the floor. It was a rude and uncalled awakening call for sure.

“Shit,” you said, immediately grabbing a hold of the broom to clean the mess up.

“Are you okay?”

And there he was: the rude, uncalled awakening call. It was startling you awake again, but did you really want to wake up? You’ve been asleep all this time, waiting with your broken heart at the palm of your hands. Did you really want to wake up just to have it punched, twisted, and hell bent over again?

“y/n, I need to know if you’re okay or—”

“I’m fine,” you croaked out, eyes watering. You were obviously not fine. And you weren’t going to be as long as he sat outside your fucking door. The anxiety of Hyejin coming back and seeing him suddenly struck a nerve. How would she react to him coming back after so long? You were barely hanging on right now. You even sat down beside the pile of broken glass, head leaning back against the cabinet. You ignored the pile you had amounted, waiting to be pricked by now.

As long as you were in love with him, you knew it was going to stir everything up in your life once again. You knew him coming back was something that you did not plan for. You weren’t the slightest prepared and it frightened you. The last time you were unprepared you fell deeply in love with a man who was not yours to keep.

It was past midnight when you decided to just see if he was still outside. The temptation of sliding him a plate of food was incredibly strong, but you held out. Now as you peered out the peephole you realized he was cold. He had his arms wrapped around his body and was slightly shivering. The best of part of you grabbed a hold of you and you grabbed a hold of your favorite blanket and rather quietly and slowly you opened the door. You found him resting against the edge of the door frame, sleeping. With light steps, you approached his sleeping figure before taking a seat next to him. You wrapped your blanket around him and yourself. With a poke to his cheek, you secured yourself that he was indeed passed out since he didn’t even flinch or stir. The silence welcomed you, bringing you so much peace as you quietly heard Taehyung’s breathing. It was in that moment of weakness that you momentarily allowed yourself to lean your head against his shoulder. 

He was back.

Taehyung.

Your mouth was already spilling your contained secrets.

“The only reason why I’m here is because I still love you, Taehyung.” You whispered it out, your fingers tenderly brushing away the bangs from his eyes. “I don’t think I ever stopped, or will if I’m being honest.”

You figured he was dead asleep so it wouldn’t matter.

And he was sound asleep. But as you glanced up at him, gathering each and every detail from his pretty face, you realized just how much you had missed him. There were nights where you would scribble away your heart out on a piece of paper in search for him. Tears were documented on those pages and your feelings were a mesh of words that only he could bring out of you. Kim Taehyung had definitely left a wound in your heart and now here he was beside you sound asleep, quickly patching it up and healing it with just his mere presence. God, you were an absolute idiot.

You stayed there with him for who knows long until he started moving. It was then that you instantly ripped yourself away from him and stood up in time for him to flutter his eyes open. A loud ass yawn emitted from his lips and he looked disoriented before his brown eyes landed on you.

“y/n,” he rasped out, immediately sitting up once again. His legs were wrapped up in your blanket and you watched how he realized he even had it in the first place. His fingers tentatively curled around it, tugging it closer to his body.

He wasn’t looking at you as he spoke up, sounding incredibly tired. “Do you want me to leave?”

Yes. Yes, was what you meant to fucking say.

You were gazing ahead of you, not turning towards him as you replied heavily, “No.”

Taehyung was immensely surprised and shocked. You were sure he was expecting you to kick him out for good once and for all like you should, but then he softly replied, “Okay.”

“It’s cold.” You quietly told him, already beginning to walk inside your apartment again. “Come inside.”

He trudged in behind you rather quietly, hands still curled around the blanket. You led him into the kitchen, pouring him a hot cup of green tea so he could drink. Alongside stood a plate full of food that had been obviously warmed up. Whatever he was thinking though, he didn’t utter a word out. His eyes didn’t meet yours. They were too focused on the steaming mug of tea and food.

“Drink this,” you said as you passed him the mug, your eyes flickering away from his intense gaze now. “You’re more than welcome to take the couch. My bathroom is down the hall to the right if you need it. And I want you out of here before 10 in the morning the latest.”

The way you spoke was monotone, firm, and was nothing compared to the sweet, kind hearted person Taehyung knew so well.

“Noted.”

You both finally met each other’s eyes. You held his gaze, hoping that in some way all your pain, tears, and heartbreak could be transferred so he would know how you felt for so long. Maybe then he would know the damaged he had done to you inside and out. However, that did not happen. Instead you felt your gaze blur, hands beginning to tremble from just how hurt you were so inside. You glanced away, shoving past him.

You didn’t turn around to notice the way his saddened gaze followed you all the way until you trapped yourself between another set of four walls, away from him.

It was four am.

You couldn’t fall asleep.

Your bed sheets were just not lulling you to sleep at this point. You were curled up on one side of your bed, hugging your pillow into your body for comfort. You laid there, feeling so empty and with so much emotion all at once. Your brain couldn’t exactly grasp it. Taehyung was literally down the fucking hall from you. He was just a few steps away from you. A few steps from wrapping his arms around you and making you feel like home once again.

A soft but rather small smile appeared on your face. At least he was safe and healthy. He looked so much better, glowing even. You then wondered how you looked. Did you look as you felt? Did he not hurt the way you did? Probably not.You sat up, legs already swinging off your bed. You were bound to drink some medicine so it could knock you out to the point where you’d wish you’d wake up with him already gone. You were already opening the door, ready to step out when you met Taehyung already outside your door, hand curled into a fist midair. 

“I—I fuck,” He sputtered out, hand falling beside his side. “I didn’t know you were awake.“

“Did you expect me to sleep soundly, Taehyung?” you genuinely prompted, the anger quickly igniting inside of you. Your voice was incredibly sweet, but dripping of venom. “Did you expect me to fall asleep so easily? Is that how you slept while you were away this time? Without a care in this fucking world? Liberated and running away like the coward you were and still are?”

Taehyung did not respond. His eyes had become watery as he barely spoke up, “I know what I did was shitty. I know what I did hurt you beyond believe. I can’t express just how much I was hurting too, okay? You think leaving was easy? You think being away from you was ever easy?”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” you finally spat out, causing him to flinch. “Don’t you fucking compare your pain to mine. You left without saying anything to me. You left nothing, nothing. Not even a single note, letter, or anything. And you left me wondering, stupidly worrying over you, but you obviously didn’t give a fuck. Instead you were living life in Venice ever so graciously.”

He was shaking his head to every word you were saying, disbelief written all over his features. “What do you mean, I didn’t give a fuck? Are you fucking blind, y/n? Did you honestly not know just how much you meant to me, and still do? For fucks sakes, I’m standing here, trying to apologize to you when I could be fucking other bitches, or even forgetting completely about you. So what the fuck do you mean by me not giving a fuck about you? And you’re pulling up Venice?”

His eyebrows were furrowing, trying to follow along. “You knew about me all this time? And you didn’t even try to at least contact me?””

“A friend of mine bought your painting and I recognized it the moment I saw it. And how could I after what she told me?” you bitted out, boring holes into him by now. “The world renowned artist, Kim Taehyung, an indie artist who lives in Venice. Happily living his life away with fucking bitches and enjoying his newfound wealth.” You recited the exact same thing Wheein had told you in her precise words.

She had burned the painting in front of you afterwards.

Taehyung simply scoffed and then began shaking his head in annoyance. “The Venice part is true, but in no moment did I ever touch anyone else that wasn’t you.”

“Stop,” you instantly warned him, his words becoming more of a blow that for some reason instead of consoling you it just kept adding to the flame inside your soul. “Stop saying things like that to me.”

“It’s true though,” he desperately urged out, sounding frustrated now. He ran his hands down his face, groaning as you seemed to be distancing yourself each time he opened his mouth. “Never once did I fuck anyone while I was over there. You wanna know why? Because my certain muse was waiting back home for me.”

“Fuck you!” you finally snapped, shoving him away from your entrance. “You don’t get to say shit like that when your actions prove you otherwise. Do you not see how you left me? I am here standing in front of you crying because I am a pathetic ass person who cared too much over someone who didn’t give a single fuck about me!”

His jaw ticked, seeming impassive and you fucking detested that. He never once showed an ounce of emotion and it always made you feel incredibly stupid. This time however, Taehyung finally snapped. “Don’t you fucking dare say I never gave a shit about you when I did. I showed you countless of times just how much you meant to me. For fucks sakes, I painted you so many times!”

He finally exploded, yelling back at you now. “Could you not fucking see it? How insane I was when you came into my life? You want prove?”

“No, what I want—”

“What?” He barked out and you bit the inside of your cheek, restraining yourself from physically assaulting him.

So you resonated with hurting him verbally instead. “I want you out of my life.” You decided, trying to convince yourself with that too.

“You sure you want that?” He challenged you and you were taken back by his assertiveness. It only infuriated you even more. Your fingers were curling up inside your palm, nails digging into your skin. The pain felt numbing compared to the bubbling hatred you were feeling inside. “If so, just say it straight to my face.”

Before you could control yourself, your fingers were fisting his shirt, crumpling it up as you brought him closer to you. He stumbled over, hand flying over to hold on to the doorway entry to stop himself from crushing you. You slowly gritted out with such defiance, “I. Want. You. Out. Of. My. Life.

By the time you were done uttering the last word out, your voice had begun to shake. Your fingers had loosen a hold of him and you felt utterly defenseless.

He leaned into you, getting on eye level, and lowly bit out, “And actually mean it.”

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Sev—

“Get out and never fucking come back into my life!” you exploded, yelling at him now. You were quick in releasing him and shoving him away from you. “Get out!”

He stood there, without saying a single word. 

“Get out of my fucking apartment, out of my life, and out of my existence.”

“But I don’t want to,” his voice cracked and you halted, your throat feeling on fire from how hard it was to not cry in front of him. “I don’t want you to give up on me when I am standing right here, ready to give you everything and much more. I am standing here, and I am not leaving until your hatred for me goes away.”

What did he mean by that? What the hell was going on?

His hair was a mess from letting his fingers tug at it and just the sound of his broken and desperate voice was making you crumble all over again. “I don’t want to leave when it’s been a hell of a fucking year not having you around me, not seeing you smile over the dumbest of things, and not being able to hold you. It’s killing me, y/n.”

Tears were already spilling down your cheeks before you could stop them. With the sleeve of your shirt, you hastily wiped them away from your face since you were not going to let him see you cry. But he was right there, and he was back. He was back after such a long time and he was right there.

“I hate you for making me feel this way,” you sobbed out, finally breaking. Your shaking hands tugged at the strands of your hair in utter devastation. “I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I fucking hate you. I hate you so much Kim Taehyung. I hate you. I HATE YOU!”

Each word felt like a needle pricking into his heart, but seeing you break down like that? Taehyung wanted nothing but to beat the fuck out of himself as well.

“I am so sorry.” Tears were streaming down his face, he seemed at lost for words. “I am so fucking sorry.”

You both were unconsciously edging closer. As you were screaming at him how much you hated him, he was nearing you, his cries of  ‘I am so sorry’ contradicting yours. His hands tentatively framed your face, foreheads pressed against each other’s as you sobbed.  He was so careful in touching you. You felt his fingertips ghost your face so gently, the pad of his fingers wiping your tears away as he brokenly croaked out, “I hate myself for making you cry. I hate myself for leaving you like that, and I will continue to hate myself as long as you cry over me because I don’t deserve your tears, y/n.”

“Just—” you hiccupped, hands encasing over his. Your grip on him tightened, eyesight blurred and throat burning. “Just hold me, Taehyung.”

“Please, j-just hold me,” you sobbed out and Taehyung was wrapping his arms around you before you could finish that sentence. His hands were encasing your head, his mouth on your hair as he tried his best to mend you back into the person you were before he came into your life.

All your pain, hurt, and heartbreak had seeped into his veins. His own feelings had intensified and seeing you break down like that was enough to render him straight down on to his knees.  Being in Venice was hell. He was alone and his thoughts were constantly full of you and only you. There were times where he impulsively would try and run back into your arms, but he stubbornly reminded himself that you were better off without him. Seeing you now with your face dug into the crook of his neck, fingers digging into his clothes, he realized just how fucking wrong he had been.

Your feelings were as evident as ever and he blamed fate for separating you both like that.

“I’m sorry,” he held you close to him, whispering it until it was engraved in your mind. “Please forgive me, I’m so sorry. Give me a chance, give me a chance to prove just how much you mean to me. Please, just one. And if that doesn’t work, then I’ll let you go.”

You sighed, you were too drained. You felt completely exhausted, but Taehyung was running his fingers through your hair, still apologizing to you with tears in his eyes. At one point the both of you had slid down against the wall together. His hold on you would not loosen and by now you were resting your head against his chest, his breathing luring you to sleep as each minute passed. You were sitting in between his legs, eyes fluttering to a close.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he continued, sniffling. “I never meant to hurt you, please know that. Please, please know that none of this was intentional. I—, I, lo—”

“Okay,” you mumbled out, tilting your head back against his chest to glance at him. He glanced down, lips centimeters away from yours but you didn’t falter. “One chance. One chance to prove to me that all of what you’re saying is true. Actions tend to speak louder than words, Taehyung.”

“Okay, okay,” he was quick to agree. “One chance is all I need. And I’ll prove it to you, okay? Not for me, but for you.”

You returned back to your original position. You made yourself comfortable in his arms, eyes finally closing. A soft plead left your lips, “Are you going to leave in the morning?”

“Not unless you kick me out.”

You were out like a light after that.

 Hours later with the sun peeking in through the window sliding doors, you slowly stirred yourself awake. As you began to blink yourself fully awake, you realized you were no longer on the hallway floor, but on your bed. And Taehyung was beside you, hot breathing fanning the back of your neck. His arms were not only wrapped around you, curling you further into his own warmth, but his fingers had intertwined with yours as well. Never in your dreams, would you have imagined the day you’d wake up and realize you were still in Taehyung’s arms.

He didn’t leave.

He didn’t, but you needed to. It was almost noon and you knew your best friend would come barging in through that door in an hour or so. You heard him softly exhale, fingers twitching in your hold. He was waking up. You immediately closed your eyes, relaxed more into him, and evened out your breathing.

“I won’t fail you again.” He whispered out, fingers slowly pulling away from yours. You had your heart lodged in your throat, feeling him pull away. It was seconds later when you felt his fingers tracing yours, trailing up your arm, and then going back down. His touch must work wonders since you were lulled back to sleep in seconds. The second time you woke, he was gone. A note was messily written on your night stand and just as you were about to read it, Hyejin barged into your room.

“You deadass just woke up now? It’s two in the afternoon!”

You curled the note underneath your hand, your eyes zooming in on the jacket behind her. It was Taehyung’s jacket. Did he leave it behind? Will Hyejin turn around and recognize it?

“Y-Yeah,” you stammered out, screwing your eyes shut at being so damn obvious. “I- I think I smoked a little bit too much last night.”

“Well, hydrate yourself then.” She reprimanded, seeming worried now. “I’ll serve you some water, okay? Also, Joonie is out there and he brought us lunch!”

Oh fuck. Not only was she here, but Namjoon as well? You waited for her to leave your room until you uncurled the note.

‘I’m in your closet’

“Taehyung,” you gasped out and quickly ran over to your closet. You pulled the door open and saw him sitting there, playing Overwatch on his damn phone.

“I was going to wake you when I heard them, but then I heard her calling your name so I had a few seconds before I could write that and get in here,” he  sheepishly admitted and you found yourself grinning like an idiot at him despite everything.

He hadn’t left.

“I can give you a five minute window for you to make it out through the door. You’re going to have to be really fucking quick.”

“Damn it, y/n.” He began to then crawl out of the closet, mumbling nonsense into the air. “Okay, but before we do all of this, can you come over to my place tonight?” He was standing down, towering over you slightly.

“That quick?” you dryly humored out and Taehyung bit down on his bottom lip.

His next sentence was what did it for you. “You said I have one chance. It’s been 393 days since we’ve last seen each other and I’m not going to waste any more time between us.”

Your gaze met his. “I’ll text you when I’m there.”

Getting him out of there wasn’t exactly easy. You gathered Namjoon and Hyejin into her room, slamming the door shut behind you. How did you even manage to get them in the same room? Well you accused Namjoon of stealing your favorite chips and went over to complain to Hyejin who was already in her room.

“I did not touch your fucking chips,” he continued to defend himself, eyes narrowing. “This is called defamation and I will sue you, you nimrod.”

“This is called defamation and I will sue you,” you openly mocked him, knowing this would grate his nerves.

“You little—”

“You see!” you extended your arm, wiggling your finger at Namjoon as Hyejin seemed utterly done with the both of you. “He called me a bitch! Tell your boyfriend to stop stealing my food and calling me degrading names.”

“I did not call you a bitch.”

“Whatever,” you waved him off.

“Did smoking too much bud suddenly shorten the two brain cells you still had left?” He retorted, his index finger tapping the side of your head. “Hellooo, I know you’re already working hard, but can you try a little bit more?”

With slit eyes you slowly began approaching him. “I will castrate you in your sleep and choke you with your own—”

“Hey, hey!” Hyejin tried cutting in between the two of you.

“You’re on your period, right? That’s why you’re acting bitchier than usual.”

“Woah, woah!” Hyejin interrupted, a scowl placed on her lips. “Did you just pull that fucking card with two women in the room?”

Namjoon sighed, seeming utterly irritated, “I forgot what happens when thing number one joins thing number two.”

“You’re on fucking time out, Kim Namjoon.”

The five minute mark had passed.

“It’s okay.” You waved at them, but they were too busy debating between the two of them now. “I just remembered I ate them last night while I was high as fuck, whoops!”

It’s not like they heard you since they had begun bickering. Namjoon was actually sitting in the corner, face against the wall as they both tried to throw their opinions at each other. Without saying anything, you tiptoed your way out of there. Now all you needed was time to get ready for what was about happen tonight.

  -------

On the way to his new apartment, you wondered what would be the end of this story. Would you finally move on and leave? Would you finally be able to forget Kim Taehyung? You entered his penthouse, eyeing the place wearily as you made your way inside the low dimmed place. You then came to a slow stop once you came into view of the living room.

Paintings. You were surrounded by paintings of you.

From portraits, to abstract paintings, and even old sketches. El Museum de Amor was what it was written so intricately right on the center of his new wall. Judging by the new glamorous penthouse, you knew that it was him who wrote it. Your eyes brimmed with tears, an incredulous laugh emitting from your lips. Your trembling hand cupped your mouth in awe and utter shock. You were in utter disbelief since there was no way Taehyung had kept these hidden for so long. Each painting differed from one another, but one thing for sure was that his colors never did. He painted you with purples, pinks, blues, yellows, and a mixture of brown colors, enhancing you with the most beautiful, pastel colors.

Paintings of you doing daily, tribal things surrounded you, and you could tell they were old. Some included you with delicately made flowers surrounding you, enhancing the beauty that you never knew he saw in you. You traced the portrait, his emotions coming to life in your eyes after so long of waiting. It was as if you were seeing yourself through his eyes and all you saw was love. One thing that you noticed was how Taehyung had managed to beautifully shade in the stars in every single one of his paintings of you.

You are you’re own entity. You shine so brightly, silly. 

“I not only fell in love with you,” Taehyung spoke up, coming into view now. “But I fell irrevocably in love with painting you.”

You flipped a painting over, hands still shaking.

My muse, Silly.

It reminded you of the interview Wheein had showed you and Hyejin, which then proceeded by them two burning the painting together. Watching them set it on fire, tore you completely apart. Wheein was holding the painting as Hyejin held the lighter in her hand. You felt like an outsider just awaiting for the destruction that was about to commence. Hyejin lividly poured gasoline on it, screaming at an inanimate object until the tank was completely empty. Then she set it on fire and you could see the glimmer in her eyes as she watched it crumble beneath her fingertips.

 “Who is this mystery person?”

“Someone who I’ve tried to forget.”

“She must be very special then, since you know, to have the famous Vante painting her so intimately and beautifully.”

Taehyung was turned towards the screen, a saddened spark in his eyes.

“She is indeed. She was and still is my only muse and inspiration.”

 “I hated you for leaving me like that,” you suddenly told him, turning to face him. He was already behind you and you were ready to step into what was Kim Taehyung as a person. But first, there were still some questions unanswered. “Hyejin told me you both broke up and then when I went to see how you were doing you had packed up your bags and left.”

He was frowning now, eyes blazed. “I went to say goodbye to you but Hyejin told me you had gone out of town.”

“Well yeah,” you frowned, finding it all weird. “I left Sunday.”

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “I went Friday.”

“We weren’t exactly on speaking terms when you left.” You clarified, still finding everything so uncorrelated and coming to terms at the same time.

“Fuck,” he swore underneath his breath. “Did you receive what I left there for you?”

“No?”

“It was the painting you left that day. I got it back the next day, you know, after Namjoon answered your phone that night.”

It was your turn to look in disbelief, “What?”

“The night that I broke up with Hyejin I called you and Namjoon answered.”

You began shaking your head, finding everything so confusing. “But, but there was no call from you that n—”

“I called you that night to tell you that I was in love with you.”

Oh fuck.

“The reason we broke up that same night was not necessarily because I wasn’t the same person when we met, but I had fallen in love with someone else.”

Staring at all the delicate and intricate paintings, you began to feel all of your questions being answered. The timing between the two of you was just incredibly fucked up.

“And rather than leading this relationship on, I was honest with her and that’s that. I broke up with her because the thought of not being with you was suffocating me so fucking much.”

You were blinking back tears, feeling so distraught by how much shit you both had been through because of the timing and uncertain events.

“So tell me why it took us this long to get to here then?” you said, sounding so heartbroken. “Tell me why in my dreams was the only way I could get to hear you say that you loved me?”

Everything was a mess, but here you both were. Taehyung was standing here in front of you, asking for another chance and here you were ready to give it to him. You were ready to dive back into him, hoping that this time you wouldn’t end up with a heart broken into bits of pieces. You were ready to fall even more in love with him. You knew it was possible.

“I love you,” he breathed out against your mouth, hands becoming firm on your hips now. There it was, the confirmation you’ve been desperately waiting for. His whole body was pressed against yours and your mind was racing as his eyes met yours.

“I am so stupidly and blindingly in love with you. It’s you who I’ve been trying to forget, but I can’t. No matter how hard I try to forget you, to forget the way you smiled at me, how your body was made for me, and how incredibly beautiful you are inside and out. I just fucking can’t.”

I love you.

“The reason why I left? I left because I was in love with you, y/n. I was in love with someone who I didn’t deserve. Someone who I have hurt so much in the process while I was with someone who I never truly loved. And I figured disappearing from your life would be better, but I didn’t mean to hurt you the way I did. I thought that doing this was going to be good for you and you’d be able to finally be happy.”

“Why?” you demanded, pushing him away from you. “Why couldn’t you have just talked to me like a normal human being instead of leaving this country and erasing yourself from my life like that? What the fuck were you thinking Taehyung?” your voice cracked, but the anger inside of you was finally dripping from your fingertips. 

“Do you have any idea how it felt to be in love with someone who wasn’t mine? To watch you with my best friend wishing that it was me in your arms instead of her? And then you leaving like that? Make me happy?” you scoffed. “Taehyung I was lost for so long and it’s not fair. You don’t get to decide what’s good for me. I get to decide that and if I strongly believe that it’s you, then it’s going to be fucking you.”

“You have no idea how much I’ve been wanting to kiss you for so long.” He slowly breathed out, inching closer to you now. “To—” he paused, tentative hands slowly inching closer to your face.

The pad of his fingers softly graced your face, awaiting your reaction before softly whispering, “To touch you like this.”

“Then do it Tae,” you whispered it out, hands cupping his face to have him closer to you. You softly brushed your lips against his, eyes fluttering to a close. “Please.”

His eyes glanced into yours before slowly fluttering to a close. Mouth softly molded against yours, his lips being tentative at first. But as Taehyung slowly kissed you, his hands wandered down your sides, carefully beginning to touch every curve of your body. Your heart soared as your lips heaved a gentle sigh into his mouth. You hadn’t felt so much emotion being put into a kiss, but yet again this was the man you were so in love with. His lips were tender and rendering you down so quickly, making your legs turn to mush and jelly all at once. It was slow and gentle, everything you ever hoped it would be with him. And then he abruptly pulled away from you, touch and sensation leaving with him.

There was a pause between the both of you as you both struggled to get a grip of one another. Something about the air was different as fleeting glances passed between the two of you. All you could do was stare intensely back at him as you both breathed in each other’s air from the proximity. And then as Taehyung gazed into your eyes with such fervor intensity, something clicked between the two of you.  Soul, heart, and passion vibrated throughout your body at the sensation of his touch because he was everywhere all at once. His fingers were already tangling themselves into your hair, tugging insistently as his mouth roughly met yours. Mouths clashed and pants began to emit from the both of you. A moan slipped past your lips at the sensation of his soft lips because it was finally happening. His cologne invaded your senses, making you even more stupid dizzy for this man.

His mouth missed yours from the excitement and his hot breath fanned against your skin as he nudged his knee between your legs, hoisting you up on his thigh, and pressing you further into him. Your skirt managed to ride up your thigh and Taehyung definitely did not miss the red, lacy thong adorning you so well.

“Much better,” he lowly breathed out against your mouth. You could feel his boxy grin against your lips and then you were kissing him again, melting and molding to his sync in just a few seconds. Soft moans emitted from you, body reacting before your already brain dead self could. You managed to wind up your arms around his neck, fingers pulling at the nape of his hair so desperately. His tongue was already slipping past, mouth sensually sucking down on your bottom lip.

Taehyung, Taehyung, Taehyung.

Fingers left his hair and instead wandered down his chest, hastily beginning to rip his shirt apart since you needed to feel him. And Taehyung didn’t seem to mind it one bit since his lips never detached from yours as he aided you in those fleeting moments.

“Here, silly,” he mumbled it out against your lips, eyes fluttering to an open. A laugh emitted from his lips upon realizing just how utterly impatient you were in that moment.

He was just so undeniably hot. With his curly hair matted up, swollen pretty lips, white dress shirt ruffled and almost off his body, and the tone of his tan skin glowing under the dim lighting by his candles. This man was effortlessly so beautiful and he just confessed to you about being his fucking muse. You eyed his button up shirt was and hurriedly tugged it down without wasting any more time. You wanted to get to the part where he was pinning you against his mattress and fucking your insides out.

“When you left,” you began and he was nearing you again. Hands framed your face ever so delicately with his pretty adorned silver ring hands. “I wanted to go after you, but you weren’t mine to yearn for.”

“But I was,” he lowly admitted to you with earnest sincerity. He was breathing into you as his lips met yours. “Since the moment I met you, I was already yours.”

His gaze was enough to set your whole soul on fire. Hands felt all tingly, head was dizzy but not from the buzz, and all you wanted at the moment was him. In your mind all that echoed was his name, Taehyung. You felt bewitched as he nudged your nose with his, hot breath fanning your face. You felt his fingers twitch, and with one last glance you simply stood on the tip of your toes, and softly pressed your mouth against his.

You felt him smile against your mouth and that immediately made your heart blossomed. As your hands slowly began to wander up his chest, you felt a soft pink hue being gently stroked against the canvas of your heart. It was light and sincere and tentative. And as Taehyung deepened the kiss, that soft pink darkened.

All thoughts were wiped free from your mind as his lips began to trail down the side of your neck, sucking and marking to his liking. It was then Taehyung’s hands grasped the back of your thighs, swiftly lifting you up. With a knee nudged between your thighs, he backed you up against the wall, pressing himself against you. A soft gasp emitted from your lips since he was right there again, lips barely brushing yours so tentatively and slowly. Hot air fanned your face, and the way he was gazing at you made your insides quiver in delight and your poor heart stutter.

“I can feel how wet you are for me, baby,” he purred out, fingers mischievously dancing up your thigh. You were watching his teasing movements like a fucking hawk, just waiting for him to do something you already.

“y/n.”

You glanced up and Taehyung was just gazing into you so intensely, halting you.

His fingers caressed your body, slowly wandering up before encasing your face in his large, veiny, and pretty hands. With a clear and low voice, he said, “Do you want me as bad as I want you?”

You happily wrapped your arms around his neck, a dazed smiled plastered all over your face. Taehyung definitely didn’t miss that since he was kissing you all over again. Taehyung hadn’t moved a muscle though and it dawned upon you that he was waiting for confirmation once he quirked an eyebrow, eyes telling it all. You almost laughed since here you were, practically kissing the crook of his neck and eagerly waiting for him to bend you over and do his worse.

“Yes,” you spilled it into his mouth without hesitation. “Yes, yes, yes.”

“Okay.”

A moment of realization dawned upon the both of you, but you figured you’d deal with this later. Right now, what you wanted was standing right in front of you and you were bound to get it once and for all.

“Lead the way,” you breathed out against his lips.

“Okay then,” he confirmed, beginning to lead the both of you into his bedroom. One hand was placed along your back while the other was set on your ass, gently squeezing. He groaned upon feeling the lace that was barely covering you, and you could feel him harden underneath you.

With a kick to the door, he swung it open and gave you a last peck on the mouth before gently laying you down on his king sized bed. He didn’t turn on the light, but you propped yourself up, watching as he roamed around his room, fingers running through his long hair. His back was facing you and you could feel your heart accelerate since even in the dim lighting, you could still make out his broad shoulders and defined back. He had definitely changed physically.

He arched an eyebrow, a smirk making its way already. “You want me to fuck you with your clothes on, baby?”

“I preferred if you take them off.”

“Oh?” He boyishly grinned. “Is that so?”

You simply let yourself fall back against the covers, teasingly spreading your legs for him. You heard a sharp inhale, followed by a guttural moan. You were beginning to shimmy out of your shirt when suddenly Taehyung was already climbing on the bed, hovering over you. Hands firmly encased yours, pinning them above your head.

“You’re killing me,” he whispered it out against your lips, eyes slightly darker. “I’ll strip you naked, then. If that’s what my baby wants, then I’ll give it to her.”

My baby.

His hands ripped your shirt open and you gasped in surprise. Taehyung watched as your expression went from instant shock to what seemed to be a slightly frightening pissed off one in just seconds. Your hands were already beginning to shove him away, since that shirt happened to be a favorite and he just ripped it like nothing. “Dude, why?” your eyes had turned to slits and Taehyung knew he had fucked up.

So naturally, he quickly began to spill out, “I’m sorry, fuck. I’ll buy you another one, shit, I’ll buy you whatever the hell you want tomorrow, okay? My wallet is yours.”

Your pissed expression suddenly wavered into a tiny pout and he knew he was in the clear now. “Okay,” you slowly relented, rolling your eyes. “You’re definitely buying me this exact same shirt.”

“Deal.”

“Okay now undress me,” you whined out suddenly and he definitely had no problem in complying with that. You watched as Taehyung practically moaned at the sight of you in just a maroon coated corset. He didn’t even need to take off your skirt to notice the matching set, nor the garters that complimented you so fucking well.

The corset tied around your body, almost like a present to him.

“My little present, huh? Can I unwrap you now?”

“Please,” you impatiently whined out.  

He bent down where the end of the red silky string ended. With his teeth, he grazed your skin as he teasingly dragged it down, slowly unraveling you to him with such ease. You could feel his hot breath fan against your skin. He stopped suddenly, his gaze just wandering your body from head to toe in such awe. His attention to detail was definitely there since his artistic eyes were just brushing and tentatively painting your body with his gaze alone. It was when your hands were coming around to cover yourself when he snapped out of his stupor.

“Nope,” he kissed you, pinning your hands away from your body. “My art.”

“I—” you began, stunned.  

“So beautiful,” his lips were kissing your thoughts away. And then they were marking  away down the base of your throat, licking down on your collarbones, and then his lips immediately went to your nipple, tongue swirling momentarily around it. You squeezed your thighs, trying to find some kind of release as he puckered his lips and sucked. He was definitely enjoying himself since you found him humming along to whatever song was playing. Your brain was muffled by the sensation of his lips to recognize the song he was so keen on singing along to.

“So pretty,” he languidly purred out, a teasing grin laced on his pretty face. He was watching you, tongue swirling around your bud as you both gazed into each other’s eyes. You softly moaned, hands desperately beginning to search for his body. You just wanted to hold him, to feel him against your body, and to feel his lips grace yours so hotly and animalistic simply because you craved for him.

You’ve been yearning for him for so long that all you wanted was to feel him move inside of you.

“Taehyung, I need you to fuck me already,” you heaved out, your impatience getting the better of you.

However, Taehyung was quick to hover over you, pinning your arms against the bed as his lips grazed yours. He was dizzying you again, causing your head to spin from the proximity.  “I am appreciating my art. So you’re going to wait until I am fucking done, understand?”

You thickly swallowed, nodding. He didn’t take that as an answer though. “I didn’t hear you, love.”

“Yes,” you whimpered out and Taehyung’s grin just made your thighs a dripping mess.

He was already in between your legs again, tongue lapping up every single drop. Hands were firmly splayed against your hips, keeping you still as his puckered lips sucked on your clit without pausing. Oh, oh my fucking god. Taehyung was quick to catch on your mannerisms, figuring out the way your body worked with such ease simply because he already knew you inside and out.  Watching as you propped yourself on your elbows, mouth opening and closing frantically. These loud ass moans could rival a pornstar and Taehyung couldn’t breathe just from how hard his dick was.  

“Oh God,” you softly gasped out, your body jerking slightly at the movement of his fingers. Slick covered your ass and thighs as Taehyung pumped in two digits inside of you. He curled them inside of you and you knew his hands were more than capable of making you cum with such ease. You loved his hands and watching his fingers disappear inside of you so harshly, as if you were being used to his liking excited you more than you could think of.

“Oh fuck!” you choked out, fingers fisting the sheets beneath you. “Tae, I’m so close, so close, soclosesoclose.” You screwed your eyes shut, crying out as he replaced his fingers with his tongue. With a few strokes and a mild slap to your cunt, you jerked forward and came without a warning.

Oh fuck, so this is what you’ve been missing. Your breathing was in pants, legs shaking, and head spinning. Taehyung definitely knew what the fuck he was doing. And that fucker just laughed, hands massaging your thighs.

“You done for the night?” he teased you, boxy smile growing. “Wanna take a shower and go to bed, Grandma?”

“Fuck you,” you laughed as you managed to sit up. Your body was practically yearning for more at this rate. You just didn’t want to boost his goddamn ego. He was good, great even if he could make you see stars with just his hands and mouth. You wondered if you would pass out if he fucked you now.

“That’s the plan, baby,” he cheekily replied, winking at you even. You didn’t know what to do besides smacking your hand on his forehead and trying to push him away from between your legs.

“Oh no, no.” He tilted his head to make your hand slip down his face instead. He bit your palm and rasped out, “I gotta clean all of my mess first.”

With his hand, he motioned for you to lay down and you did as you were told.

“Tae,” you tugged at his hair, trying to get him on top of you instead, but Taehyung was busy kitty licking you clean, softly singing, “If you want it, you can have it.”

His mouth hovered over your sensitive bud, slightly nudging it with his tongue. You dug your heels into his bed, getting worked up all over again. Then he proceeded to challenge you, “You think I can make you cum again, baby?”

“Uh huh,” you nodded without thinking, chest beginning to raise and fall. His grin was wicked, yet charming. His mouth though kept slurping away the mess he had made out of you. He hummed against your hole and your legs quivered at the sensation.

“Tae, please,” you began, pushing him away with your hands.

He raised an eyebrow, tongue sweeping his bottom lip.  “Yeah?”

“I want you to fuck me already, goddamn it.” You exasperatedly told him.

“I think, I’ll fuck you with these on,” he smirked, fingers hooking underneath your red garter. Just the sensation of his fingers on your skin, ignited the anticipation inside of you.

Do whatever you please, just fuck me already.

His hands were already unbuckling his belt, whipping out before throwing it behind him. His gaze alone made you swallow thickly since the way he just looked at you told you what he was planning to do to you. Once his pants and underwear were gone, you were already meeting him on the edge of his bed, hands sliding up his arms.  You stood before him, smiling so widely.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” you sincerely uttered it out, finding yourself breathless once meeting his eyes.

He caressed your cheek, arm winding around your body to pull you flush against him. “If I could capture the essence of how beautiful you are, I wouldn’t share it to the world. Call me selfish for wanting you all for myself, but it took us three years to get here where I can finally call you mine.”

He was lifting you up once again, gently placing you down on his mattress. You could feel his cock press against your stomach and you simply welcomed him between your legs so naturally.

“You sure?” He asked once again, trying to reaffirm himself in a sense.

“Make me yours,” you said without hesitation, games and teasing falling off the table now. Your heart, mind, and body were in unison as you kissed him immediately to reassure him that it was okay.

As your mouth deliciously met his, he slowly slid into you. He swallowed your moan in his mouth, hips bottoming down against your body. A grunt emitted from his mouth as you squeezed around him, starting to milk his cock. His hands had gotten busy with your hair, fingers tangling themselves as he slowly began to push himself into you. All you could do was muffle your moans by biting down on his shoulder, nails digging into his side. He was in between your legs, hips sensually moving against your body. Finally. You could feel his cock move against you and your toes were curling at the sensation of having him finally fuck you dizzy like you always wanted. Your mind was whirling and your body sighed in contentment. His weight on top of yours, his hands roaming down your body, and the feeling of his soft pants emitting on to your lips was just too much. Taehyung was praying nonsense into air, he too was getting senseless and lost inside of you.

“Oh god,” you whimpered out softly, hot pants heavily emitting from your lips. His cock pulsed against your tight hole, driving shameless whimpers from you over and over until he was the only thing engraved in your mind.

His big hands were splayed against your thigh, fingertips slowly dragging down your skin, squeezing and marking to his liking. His mouth ghosted across your neck, sucking and grazing his teeth between your breasts.

“Yes, yes, fuck,” you moaned out, practically shivering against him. He was a quiet lover, except for an occasional grunt and soft moans that vibrated against your warm skin.

“Oh fuck,” he moaned out, his hips grinding against yours. He was gripping on to your thigh, fingers tugging at your garter so harshly that it started to slide down.

“I—Ah, ngh, Taehyung,” you were practically mewling. And Taehyung was relentless as he kissed you suddenly to swallow the whimpers emitting from your lips because he felt he was going to cum at the sounds you were making just for him.

“You’re so loud for me baby,” he cooed out, shamelessly praising you. “My baby is so responsive for me, so fucking hot.”

“Mhm,” you ate it all up, hands greedily marking his back as he slammed inside of you. His hips were rolling down, practically grinding against your pubic bone.

“Paint your pretty body with my hands,” he hotly sucked the tip of your earlobe, earning a sharp inhale from you as your response. “With my lips,” he continued, his lips softly ghosting your skin. “mark you and brand you with my name written all over you skin.”

“Yes, yes, do whatever you want,” you whimpered out, legs beginning to tremble.

He suddenly cupped you’re face rather firmly, momentarily slowing down his movements. As he slowly panted out each word, he rolled his hips, hitting your sensitive spot over and over again. “You’re mine, you hear me? No one can touch you but me.”

Done.

“I’m yours,” you shameless repeated it to him, eating up everything that was leaving his pretty mouth. “Ah, I, ah always been.”

“Yes?”

“Yes,” you instantly moaned out. Taehyung’s fingers were tracing your lips, watching as he fucked you silly and you responded to his demands so easily.

“Suck,” he demanded, and you happily obliged. With puckered lips, you swirled your tongue around his finger before sucking briefly.

“I know my baby can take more,” he cooed out, slowly deep throating his fingers down your throat. You gagged around his long, slender fingers, soon hollowing out your cheeks to fully take them in rather happily. He was quick in sliding them in and out, letting you do all the dirty work. And you happily obliged to his bidding, coating his pretty and delicate fingers with your saliva.

“Such a pretty, messy baby,” he groaned out at the sight of you. He removed his fingers from your mouth and with his pretty tongue, he licked and sucked to your echoing moans.

He used your headrest as leverage, hips grinding against yours as low, guttural moans left his pink lips. His eyes were screwed shut and you clenched so deliciously around him that he let out a small ‘oh fuckohfuckohfuck’ in return.

“I’m so close,” you cried out, legs wrapping around his waist. Your heels were digging into his skin, fingers pressing into every curve of his body. He moved your body against the bed, chest pressed against yours, hands beginning to intertwine with yours. Foreheads were pressed against each other’s and you both were breathing in the same heated, desperate for release of air into each other’s mouths.

“Yeah?” He panted out against your mouth, hips stuttering as you felt your body jerk. “Is my baby close?”

“Mhm,” you whimpered out again, back beginning to arch off the bed. Your heels were digging into his ass and tears began to prick your eyes from the intensity.

“Taehyung,” you cried out, eyes squeezing to a close. Legs had begun to tremble, toes were curling, and then your body stuttered and all you could feel was a hot blazing white overwhelming you.

Taehyung came with your name in his mouth and lips desperately finding yours. Your fingers instantly lost themselves into his hair, body melting and molding with his. He was still in between your legs, arms encasing you whole. His arms slid beneath yours, hands still tugging at your hair as you breathlessly continued to kiss him.

“I am so love with you, you know?” he suddenly sprung up on you, voice laced with so much emotion. His voice was breathy, and low. 

You simply gazed at him, happiness overwhelming you wholeheartedly.

“Taehyung, I am so in love with you,” you softly told him, your fingers tenderly caressing his face. “Since the moment you walked into my life, I have been in love with you.”

As he gazed at you with stars in his eyes, you remembered what he had told you the first day you had met him. How he had contradicted your viewing of how the stars seemed like background. In a sense, you felt as if you were the stars, sometimes covered by clouds, dying with time, and overlooked because you were always there. And then he came into your life and showed you that the stars were magnificently beautiful in every way. 

“Have you ever considered that the stars alone don’t need the sun and the moon? They are their own separate entity. They shine brightly with, or without them.”

“They are uniquely beautiful. And the whole romance between the sun and the moon is bittersweet since yeah they were once together in a sense, but they don’t complement each other. The stars do.”

“I love you, silly.” He softly reminded you once again, nose nudging yours so sweetly.

You brought him down towards you, kissing him as you confessed into his lips, “And I love you.”

It was during the time where the sun started peeking in through his blinds that you laid wide awake. Taehyung was sound asleep, arms around your body, lips on the crook of his neck, and you could feel his even breathing on your skin. His hair was all matted up from running your fingers through it and you were so fucking happy. A variety of colors painted your heart and you couldn’t wait until you got to see the masterpiece he had created inside of you. There was one thing standing in the way though, something that wasn’t exactly letting you fall asleep in his arms. You wondered if your best friend would set on fire that masterpiece that you called your heart once she found out you were with Taehyung.

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

Yeeaaah… so this ended up turning out longer than I intended… but it’s a theory I felt like sharing nonetheless. Hopefully tumblr doesn’t eat this & if this is too long or odd to answer… don’t worry, I understand. I just wanted to share while it was in my head, ya know? So: Long Post Warning!

I am not 100% caught up on every chapter yet, but I do have a brief understanding of all the events up til now. So please forgive me if this has been revealed and I just don’t know about it yet.

Bell 🧚🏻 = wind spirit🌬🌪

Salamander (who honestly looks more like a dragon than a salamander so he’s gettin’ the dragon emoji) 🐲 = fire spirit 🔥

Undine 🌊 = water spirit💧

As far as I know, we don’t yet have an inkling of who the earth spirit will be or to whom he will “choose” to contract with.

Tbh, I have a some of feelings about possibilities surrounding the earth spirit…

Bell and Undine are both obviously women and I’m 96.8% sure that Salamander is a boy… but who knows, I also wouldn’t be the least bit freaking surprised if Tabata threw that back in our face and Salamander ends up being a girl like in Shrek (and on that note, I just need to ask, in Shrek 2 when Shrek and Donkey drank the Happily Ever After Potion, it’s described as “"Happily Ever After Potion maximum strength. For you and your true love. Drink of this potion and bliss will be thine, happiness, comfort, and beauty divine.” This stuff turned both Shrek and Fiona human while it turned Donkey into a pure white stallion… am I the only one that still gets peeved we never got an answer on wtf that stuff did to Dragon??? Or how it would’ve affected their dragon donkey hybrid babies??? That’s the only thing that irks me about Shrek 2… okay, whew, now that I’ve gotten that out, back to Black Clover theorizing)

Going by the assumption that Salamander is most likely a boy, it would stand to reason that the earth spirit has a good chance at being male as well like 2 female spirits, 2 male.

Salamander’s inspiration obviously comes from dragon lore, I can’t find one singularly specific mythology reference Tabata would have based Salamader on so I’m guessing Salamander is based on dragon lore.

Bell has, for the most part, 2 inspirations Tabata based her on. The main one being Sylphs have power over the skies and air. They've been delineated to have control over the wind and the clouds, and even have the ability to purify the air and control the weather itself. Sylphs are not officially from a specific type of mythology, but if they were to be categorized they’d qualify as European folklore, same as Undine and Gnome which will be explained a few bullet points later. The second and most obvious (my fav of the 2) inspiration Tabata drew from for her character is Tinkerbell; from the blond hair, green dress, gets pissed when male partner pays attention to any female that isn’t her, yeah no denying she’s based on tinkerbell; my guess is Tabata combined her with Sylphs wind magic because it was Tinkerbell’s pixie dust that Peter, the lost boys, and the Darling children used to be able to fly. “Faith, trust, & a little bit of pixie dust” (Which is even more perfect because, even if he doesn’t show it, there is no one else in the series that has more faith & trust in Asta than Yuno does… Yuno’s infinite faith/trust in Asta both drives their rivalry forward and, by this logic, is one of the very reasons Yuno can sore so high🥰).

Undine is the only spirit character, for now, that is directly based off of a real water spirit in European folklore (again, even though Sylphs technically qualify to be categorized under European mythology, as far as I know, they are not officially categorized as such which is why I say Undine is the only one) - “Undine, also spelled Ondine, is a mythological figure of European tradition, a water nymph who becomes human when she falls in love with a man but is doomed to die if he is unfaithful to her.” Being that Undine is described as being able to take human form when she falls in love with a man *cough cough* Ariel *cough cough* Black Clover’s Undine’s background states that she made a contract with the first queen of the newly formed Heart Kingdom and has thus stayed loyal and made a contract with every Heart Queen since. Maybe she fell in love with the father/brother/husband/male-figure associated with the first queen and since the queen is the predominant ruler of the heart kingdom - Undine made a contract with her to be close to this man while knowing he could/would never be hers… she wouldn’t die if her love is one sided… if her love is unsaid and unrequited then anything this man does with another woman isn’t considered being unfaithful.. and maybe she’s maintained contracts with every Heart Queen since out of sheer devotion, loyalty, and love to that original man whom she took human form for. Or she was in love with the first queen and has made a contract with every queen since out of sheer devotion, loyalty, and love not on just for that first queen but every one of her descendants. Who knows?

Tabata’s mythological references (demonology excluded because that a whole other thing) for the most part mainly circulate around Greek mythology, Norse mythology, and European folklore.

Going based off of Undine (and Sylphs) , there’s a strong possibility that this yet to be named earth spirit will possibly directly based on, even if only slightly, someone of those three categories above.

Greek mythology, I find somewhat unlikely seeing as there’s no official male god of earth in Greek mythology. There are deities that have roles related to the earth yeah… but no god surround the earth itself or the element itself. The closest thing to a god of earth in Greek mythology is Gaea - goddess of earth. Simplify it to god of dirt and still the only result is Demeter goddess of agriculture (which seems similar to Mimosa in some ways but I don’t think she will obtain an earth spirit because I think the earth spirit will have more to do with mineral earth than plants and agriculture). If there is to be any inspiration drawn from Greek mythology in terms of an earth spirit, but even this seems a little unlikely, my guess would be possibly some characteristics from Satyrs seeing as they are the male equivalent of nymphs - what Undine is technically classified as.

Norse mythology seems a bit more, but not by much at first, plausible in terms of gathering reference for an earth spirit. It probably wouldn’t be the Norse God of Earth Jörd because she is still technically a goddess and mother of earth like Gaea. However, Norse mythology does have a deity of rocks - Hrungnir is a jötunn (a type of entity contrasted with gods and other non-human figures, such as dwarfs and elves. The entities are themselves ambiguously defined, variously referred to by several other terms, including risi, thurs and troll). There is also one more Norse aspect that goes along these lines - Dvergar or Norse dwarves are entities in Norse mythology associated with rocks, the earth, deathliness, luck, technology, craft, metal work, wisdom, and greed.

Norse mythologies depictions of both jötunn and dvergar tie into the third category of European folklore’s depiction of earth deities/spirits. In European folklore, Gnome, is a dwarfish, subterranean goblin or earth spirit who guards mines of precious treasures hidden in the earth. He is represented in medieval mythologies as a small, physically deformed (usually hunchbacked) creature resembling a dry, gnarled old man. - this description is similar to that of jötunn/dvergar and also ties into Charmy being revealed as part dwarf which will most likely be explored in a later arc.

Tbh, I picture this guy’s personality being somewhere between Grumpy from Snow White, the grumpy but well-meaning and wisecrack Lorax, and Phil from Disney’s rendition of Hercules… (not only does imagining this type of personality have me laughing… imagining the 2 most whom I find most likely to be chosen by this earth spirit… imagining them being partnered up with this personality has me near cackling😂)

As for the 2 whom most likely might be the “chosen one” of this earth spirit?

Even though he is technically described as being Arcane in terms of his magical attribute, Mercury is by definition “a naturally-occurring chemical element found in rock in the earth's crust, including in deposits of coal.” So mercury is naturally occurring, derived from earth, and the fact that it can come from deposits of coal ties in perfectly to the hypothesis of this earth spirit/deity being along the lines of dwarves which (not JUST in Snow White) are heavily associated with miners in various mythologies and folklores. So even though technically classified as being arcane, I do think Nozel has a strong possibility of being chosen by the spirit of earth (+ it would make for an EVEN MORE epic rivalry between Nozel and Fuegoleon if they both have an elemental spirit) (++ based off of how dwarves are depicted in mythology and based on how I decribed how I think this guy’s personality will be, I can see this guy as wise/rational but also getting grumpy/irritated easily with a short fuse and just imagine him getting irritated and kicking Nozel in the shins when when he doesn’t communicate his feelings properly & almost always kicks Solid/Nebra/Augustus in the shins when he says something he shouldn’t have - omg this guy’ll be a hoot!!🤣)

The second possible “chosen one” of this earth spirit could be Sol. Not only is she 100% raw earth magic but I also feel like it would balance her out a bit having a male spirit attached to her and that’s where the wisdom side of the Lorax/Phil could kick in and help her not only improve as a mage but also as a person helping her not see things so one sided. You notice, even though the Blue Rose Knights are an all girl squad… Sol is the only one that goes to that much of a degree in despising men; everyone else on the squad detests men on the surface but for the most part not truly. Charlotte keeps up the façade of detesting men to both appear strong for her squad ladies but also to mask her own insecurities. Sol, while she has gotten a little better since her initial introduction, is the only one who barely tolerates men… the only one who’s depicted as not having a façade and genuinely detests all men with a few exceptions. Having a male spirit like character who does not take her BS (*shin kick💥*) but also offers her wisdom and guidance that helps her grow as a person would be phenomenal for her character overall.

I find Nozel to be the more interesting outcome (NO! not just because I’m a Nozel simp… who told you that? They lie) but either of these characters would be interesting and could improve drastically in character development and as a mage having someone like this joined at the hip.

What are your thoughts?

– Grimoire_Girl📚

OKay, okay *takes a moment* (Also: did I just stop what I was doing, just to read and reply to this? .... Maybe)

I'd like to platonically kiss you on the mouth (with your consent ofc, because consent is a big thing on this blog), because I love this. Okay the Fue simp in me was hoping to have more of him, but in the end I didn't even mind. And can I just say that I love, lovelovelove the idea of Nozel getting the Elemental Spirit of Earth.

The theory is made *so* *much* *better* by the mental image of him (supposedly 'him') being a Lorax/Phil (from now on, let's call him Phorax). Because can you just imagine this duo?! Nozel, our lovely tsun-tsun who is in need of a big, warm hug and therapy. (Like Nozel, sweetie, I know that there aren't many therapists around, but you need to talk to someone.)

I'm also thinking that since it's probable that there'll be the 2-2 divide between boy/girl spirits, because I kinda agree with you on Sal being a boy (I'm aware of Shrek 2, but unfortunately I have no answers, but I laughed *so hard* while reading that), if there'll be a divide between the Spirit forms that have wings. Because I can't see the Earth Spirit giving a flying Spirit Dive form.

I mean, what, everyone else, aka the rest 3 spirit owners can rise to the skies and then Nozel is left behind like a plucked chicken? (I'm so, so sorry for that comparison, but ain't no one leaving him behind! Nozel. Needs. To. Be. Included.) I don't think that's fair. So, it could very well be that the two else give a "grounded" Spirit form, and Bell and Undine give a flying form.

Aaaanyways... I do like your theory/thoughts on how Undine came to be. And I could very well see that to be canon.

I, honestly, have nothing further to add at this point. Because this is brilliant. I love this.

But Tabata please, give us a tiny bit more lore. Please? A pretty please

[behindheremeraldeyes]

damirae week 2021 tuesday, May 4th - enemies to lovers & dark fantasy/ fairytale

title: bewitched

summary: “There’s a sly and satisfied smirk playing on her lips, and for a moment, he knows she has bewitched him, body and soul. This girl— this demon— is going to be his downfall. " Ao3 // ffnet

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It is a moonless night when the most powerful members of the League of Assassins are gathered in the catacombs of the sacred city of Eth Alth’eban. There are at least 20 men wearing dark-green hoods to cover their faces, each holding a lit candle in order to provide just the minimum luminosity for the ceremony that is about to take place. Their leader, Damian Al’Ghul, stands straight as he holds his powerful countenance, his emerald eyes never leaving the deteriorated book in his hands. A conjuring circle has been drawn with the ancient sand of the white desert, and at this moment, all the preparations have been concluded.

At last, the time has come. After spending years studying the dark arts and reading countless manuscripts on the matter, Damian is finally ready to take the next step towards a prosperous future. He is about to do what his predecessors never had the guts to, and with this action, a new era for the League is about to begin. He will make his grandfather proud by rewriting the history of their organization. He will be respected and his name, finally, immortalized.

“From hell, I, Damian Al’Ghul summon thou. Break the gates, unleash thy power and come forward. Step into this world now that the shadows cover this land. Be mine, demon, and my heart shall be yours for eternity.” He closes the book, handling it to one of the servants standing next to him. His hand reaches for the dagger in his belt, and in a fraction of a second, he tears the skin of his right hand. Red blood oozes from the sash and he lets it drip over the circle, tinging the white sand into a bright crimson. “Azarath Metrion Zinthos.”

The last words come as a whisper and a profound silence envelops the room. A couple of seconds pass, and though he can practically touch the thick anxiety of his subordinates around him, there’s no room for hesitation in his core. His pulse suddenly increases and it’s as if he can feel his heart constricting inside his ribcage. It’s not painful, not in the least. In fact, it gives him a feeling of fulfillment, and as he embraces this feeling, the ground beneath his feet starts to shake.

A dust of wind invades the catacombs, the lights of a few candles fading in consequence. Suddenly, an ominous fog swirls inside the circle, delicate at first, but quickly escalating into a dark vortex. Breathing gets harder, as if all the oxygen is quickly vanishing, and from the corner of his eyes, he can see some of the elder man falling on their knees, holding their throats and gasping for air. He doesn’t move, though. He can’t, for his feet are suddenly too heavy and something tells him he shouldn’t move a single muscle.

So he doesn’t. He stands his ground for what feels like an eternity, but eventually, the turmoil ceases and a dark sphere appears over the circle, floating steadily. His ears capture the sound of his men recovering, and some even take a step closer to him, as if to offer their prince some support. They have their blades ready, but Damian knows they won’t do anything unless he commands them to. There’s no need for violence. At least not yet.

After almost a full minute, the orb then dissolves and a small figure is now kneeled on the floor, the runes of the circle now shinning with a purple aura. His men are left in pure awe at the scene in front of them, but Damian doesn’t let those feelings take over him. His eyes are slowly studying the figure, and it doesn’t take long for him to realize the demon he has summoned has a human form— the form of a woman, apparently.

Her head is lowered, dark hair falling forward. She’s naked, her bare skin pale as the finest porcelain and slim curves outlining her figure. Her arms are wrapped across her chest in a protective way, and he is quick to notice the way she’s shivering. She’s cold, he thinks. It’s mid winter here, and perhaps, she must still be used to the warmer temperatures of hell.

“Bring me a source of fire. Now.” He orders, and his subordinates don’t question, quickly lighting a brazier. In a swift move, then, Damian unbuttons the cape that falls over his shoulders and wraps it around her. He’s crouched now, his feet invading the circle and his face just a few inches away from hers. When he reaches out for her now covered shoulder, she trembles under his touch. His eyes squint a bit, and slowly, he watches as she finally lifts her face.

Their eyes are connected now. His emeralds and her amethyst clashing and he can’t find it in himself to look away. She’s enticing, seductive, even. Her eyes are as deep as autumn’s starry skies, and her rosy lips are slowly parting as she studies his expression. There’s a red crystal on her forehead, and it’s as if flames are dancing inside of it.

Damian is mesmerized by her ethereal beauty. She’s probably the most beautiful creature he has ever seen, and for a moment, her pure looks make him forget that she is, in fact, a demon. A demon he has summoned to help him achieve his goals.

Once realization strikes him back, he blinks and breaks eye contact. He stands up, his imposing figure now towering over her body as he reaches out, offering his hand to help her stand. At first, her eyes are just staring at him, but eventually, she accepts his gesture and he can properly feel her icy touch clashing against his warm skin. Though her legs are still shaky, she manages to stand up, and as expected, she’s smaller than him. She lets go of his hand once she’s confident enough to stand alone, and though her eyes were only filled with confusion until this point, now, he can see a new flame behind her irises.

She’s examining her surroundings now, and he wonders if she’s either planning a way to escape or to kill all of them— for their sake, he hopes it’s not the latter. The demoness takes a deep breath, then, and her attention returns to him.

“So you’re the one who’s summoned me.” Her voice is low, almost velvety, and he senses an inch of growing confidence in it.

“Yes.” He confirms. “You will help me achieve my goals.” His eyes are determined as those words roll out of his tongue, and that determination evokes a smirk on her lips.

“Oh, is that so? How can you be so sure of that? Tell me what’s stopping me from killing you and all of your men?”

The lack of hesitation in her voice causes a turmoil in his men, and they were quick to unsheathe their blades. Rage fills their hearts, and their blood-thirst is almost palpable now.

“Just say the word, your majesty.” One of them says, and it’s clear that they only need the minimum approval from Damian to slit her throat.

“Is this your pathetic excuse for backup?” She huffs, not bothering to spare them a single glance. They’re growing more irritated, but she pays them no mind. ”I see why you needed a demon, then.”

“You devil creature! How dare yo— “

“Enough.” He says, firmly, with a reprimanding tone towards his men. If anything, he won’t let them fall for her tricky games so easily. He’s glaring at her now, yet she doesn’t seem intimidated by him in the least. “If you wanted us dead, you would’ve done it by now.”

“Very astute, your majesty.” She mocks, finally turning her amethyst orbs to his men. “At ease, gentlemen. No one needs to die here tonight. Now, if you don’t mind, I would like to speak alone with you, Damian Al’Ghul.”

“Very well.” He turns to his men. “You can leave now.”

“What?! Master Damian, we shouldn’t have done this. We can just kill her and get back to the way we were before. We can—“

“Don’t you dare finish this sentence, sergeant.” He speaks, harshly. “I forbid you or anyone else in this facility to bring her any harm. Have I made myself clear?” There’s a screaming silence after his words, but eventually, his men bow their heads in acceptance. Hands are clenched into tight fists, and at last, her smirk fades from her face. For that, Damian is thankful.

In less than a second, all the men surrounding them leave the room. The light from the lit fire outlines their silhouettes as they now stand face to face. She’s still wrapped around his green and golden cape, and there’s a serious expression decorating her features now.

“So, Damian…” She starts, squinting her eyes in defiance. With her powers, the magic book he’s used to conjure the spells comes floating to her hands, and she’s quick to start flipping through its dusty pages. “You might be aware of this already, but you have used a pretty powerful grimoire to summon a demon like me. The mage who wrote this spells certainly knew what he was doing, for he’s found a way to turn the tables against us, evil creatures.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means we can’t just fool you, humans, into doing whatever we want like we’ve been doing for the past centuries.” She smirks. “At least not so easily anymore. With the spells in this book, giving you my real name or stuff like that makes absolutely no difference.”

“And what is it? Your name, I mean.”

Her eyes stare at him for a while, and though she takes a couple of seconds to try and read him, eventually, she gives in. “Raven. You can call me Raven.”

“Raven.” He tests her name in his own voice, and unconsciously, he finds himself enjoying the way it rolls out of his tongue. “Pleasure to meet you.”

“Pleasure is all mine.” She replies, finally closing the book with a loud noise. “Well, you’ve summoned me from the depths of hell, Damian. You don’t need to tell me your reasons for it, but please, do tell me, what is it that you want me to do? How can I serve you?”

He nods at her, and even if Damian knows better than to simply trust a demon, he believes she’s being genuine. Though there are still a lot of things he has yet to learn about dark magic, he knows that the book he’s used gives him the higher ground against her. There are taming spells there that can subdue her to his wills, and if anything, she’s not allowed to kill him. They’re bound together for as long as he wants to, and giving her his heart in exchange for that felt quite acceptable.

They’re each holding the strings of each other’s lives, and with that, he believes they will find balance.

“I want what all the humans in my position want, Raven. I want enough power to protect my man and the things we stand for. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“Nothing more, huh?” Her brows quirk, and she takes a few steps closer to him. Her eyes are on his, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t spot a certain curiosity in her demeanor. “Don’t you want to rule the world, Damian? Don’t you want to be feared by nations and create your own empire?”

“No.” He says, promptly. “A true leader should not be feared, but respected.”

“How very honorable for a human.” She teases, finally returning the book to him. “But this is none of my business. I’m in no position to defy your wishes. I’m bound to consent if that’s what you want.”

She turns away from him, then, and he watches as his cape dances around her slim legs. She stretches her arms and neck, and that’s when he reminds himself that, even if she’s a creature from hell, Raven still has her own wishes and desires. They’ve made a contract, and even if the odds are in his favor, there must be something in it for her, too. He refuses to believe that a human heart is enough to pay for what could be a life of servitude.

The leader of the Assassins takes a deep breath, then, as he decides to venture unexplored territory. His intentions are noble— at least he thinks they are— and he doesn’t hesitate before speaking. “And what is it that you want, Raven?”

“Me?” She asks, curiosity lacing her voice. She turns to face him once more, and he catches a glimpse of interest in her amethyst eyes. “What do you mean?”

“I’m asking you what is it that you want. What will you get from helping me?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” She asks, her tongue instinctively running across her lower lip. “I’ll be finally free, Damian.”

“Free?” He arcs his brows as he tries to understand her words. “Can you really be free while bounded to a human?”

“You humans have a very idealistic sense of freedom. We are bound together, that’s true, but that doesn’t mean you’re taking away my freedom. It’s quite the opposite, in fact.”

“How so?”

“You took me away from hell, Damian. And though it might not be the worst place for us, demons, it’s still pretty hard not to lose control when all of those suffering souls are screaming inside your head.” She smiles, weakly, but genuinely. “Now that I’m only connected to you, it’s easier to think straight. My mind isn’t crowded anymore, and that alone sets me free. If you are to put me in a cage for the rest of your life, so be it. At least I will some peace.”

His lips go agape after her words, and he feels his heart skipping a beat. Though he initially believed to know enough about demons due to his previous studies, Damian now knows that there’s a lot more about them he has yet to understand. They’re creatures with thoughts and emotions, and some of them might still carry some traces of humanity. Though malice and wickedness might prevail in their core, perhaps— just perhaps— some of them can come to comprehend feelings such as mercy and happiness.

Perhaps, together, they can eventually comprehend the meaning of love.

The heart inside his chest, though no longer his, beats faster as his eyes continue to stare at her. A sense of dignity and justice takes over him, and before he knows it, his hand is already placed over her shoulder. His touch is tender, and he watches as bewilderment spreads around her face. “You won’t be trapped in a cage, Raven. I want you to rule by my side, and we will stand together against whatever might come for us. I will give you anything you might desire. I will keep you safe.”

As his words sink in, a slow smile takes over her lips, and she uses her right hand to remove his from her shoulder. “A human protecting a demon… How amusing.” Her small fingers are now holding his, and he notices how foreign her touch feels. Still, she’s gentle. “Not trapping a demon in a cage, huh… You might regret this decision later, Damian.”

“I won’t.” He nods, his grip on her fingers tightening. “You will be free by my side. I give you my word.”

His promises come out almost as a whisper, and he watches as her expression, though still very strict, shows signs of excitement. Her amethyst eyes seem to shine brighter now, and her thin lips are slowly turning upwards. Right now, Damian is captivated by her genuine beauty and he can’t control the sudden desire to have her that has grown inside of him. Perhaps it’s part of the original contract or even a curse she’s putting on him. Whatever it is, he can’t find it in himself to fight against this urge.

Raven blinks one more time, and slowly, her hand slides from his and she’s now cupping his cheek. Her thumb slides across his olive skin, and he can’t help but allow the weight of his head to rest over her palm. Their eyes are connected and he can feel a soft breeze coming from her slightly parted lips. She’s incredibly close now. So close that if he leans in, his lips might brush hers. The thought of kissing her crosses his mind, and though it might seem too misplaced, it’s not completely absurd.

She’s the owner of his heart, after all. Though the meaning of it might not be the same for her, he is still human. He is still a man.

“Raven, I—“

“Shh…” She silences him, her eyes now only half opened. “Don’t say anything you might regret later.”

“I— “

Before he can even finish his words, Raven is the one who closes the gap between them. Her lips are pressed firmly against his in a soft and chaste kiss, and his body is quick to respond to her action. His arm slowly snakes around her small body, bringing her closer so they can deepen the kiss. Damian can feel the curves of her bare breasts against his chest and he can feel his body warming up at her touch.

Their tongues brush softly against one another, and once he adds a little roughness to the kiss, he’s able to elicit a soft moan from the depths of her throat. She responds to him promptly, their lips moving in perfect synchrony. Though it might not be natural for two extremely different creatures to engage in such actions, the desire running through his veins seems to be controlling his movements, and he doesn’t think he has the strength to break free.

His mind is revolving around her right now, and though it might feel a little clouded, Damian doesn’t think he has ever felt more powerful or sane in his entire life. He can barely feel his own heart beating anymore, but the power that now courses through his body is making him feel incredibly alive.

What is she doing to him? He doesn’t know, not really. However, he doesn’t really care about it right now.

He’s entranced by her, and there’s no turning back anymore. At least not until his heart stops beating.

His need for air forces him to retreat momentarily, their foreheads resting against one another. His lungs are desperate for fresh air, and judging by the way her ribcage is moving fast, he assumes she’s just as needy.

“What have you done to me?” He asks, still breathless. The turmoil inside his body seems to be fading, and at last, he can think straight again.

“Nothing your heart didn’t wish for, Damian.” Raven answers, sliding her hand across his chest, until it’s placed over his heart. She can feel it beating against her palm, and he notices how focused she seems. There’s a sly and satisfied smirk playing on her lips, and for a moment, he knows she has bewitched him, body and soul. This girl— this demon— is going to be his downfall.

And the worst part is that he’s looking forward to it.

fin.

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a/n: day 2 and here we are! Ngl, I had this idea while watching a weird show and I’m pretty happy with the result. Both Raven and Damian are such amazing characters to play with, and I think it’s our duty as shippers to explore them and their love. Well, what did you think? Hope you’ve enjoyed it! Thank you for reading it, and see ya!

[mediocreauthor]

Fuck it, relationships in Nana as Taylor Swift songs part 2.

You can read part 1 (Nana and Ren) here! Takumi and Reira - Hoax In a story full of dysfunctional relationships, this pair manages to be most destructive of them all. Takumi and Reira cannot exist with or without one another. Reira hates Takumi even though he is all she wants. Ren summarizes this perfectly: “Reira says she wants to be happy like a normal person. But to me, it seems she just wants to go to hell with you.” She despises Takumi, thinks he belongs to hell, and her home is wherever he is. Metaphorically, Takumi and Reira sailed away on a ship, with a goal in their mind. She misses the land, flowers, smell of freshly baked bread. Ever crashing waves makes her sick, sun burns her skin, she wants to get out or she will explode. She doesn’t have the courage to request this from Takumi, because this mutual goal, this journey is the foundation of their love. If she gets off, what will happen to them? Reira loves Takumi so desperately, she will stand by him as the waves rock their ship, and hate him for leading it (not me suddenly being an English teacher😭). Anyways, Reira wants to destroy anything Takumi treasures, and her beautiful voice that cursed their relationship is on top of her list.

“My only one My smoking gun My eclipsed sun This has broken me down My twisted knife My sleepless night My win-less fight This has frozen my ground” As for Takumi, he is cursed with consciousness. He is hyper-aware of his inability to form meaningful connections, to treasure and love someone properly. That’s why he tries to keep an arm distance with Reira (keyword being ‘try’). He has devoted her entire being to Reira, ensuring her happiness, her success is the primary goal in his life. He built a kingdom, just so Reira can sit on the throne. He almost considers her as an ethereal being. Since he holds her in such a  high regard, this false perception combined with his general lack of empathy inevitably drags Reira to ultimate misery. She is not sitting in the throne Takumi built for her; she is in the dungeons, held captive by this love.  “Stood on the cliffside Screaming, "Give me a reason" Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in Don't want no other shade of blue But you No other sadness in the world would do” If I had to describe Takumi’s love in one word it would be faithless. Second would be devoted. That’s how contradictory his actions and feelings are. “My best laid plan Your sleight of hand My barren land I am ash from your fire” Reira is Takumi’s  pièce de résistance. Trapnest is his masterpiece that he has sacrificed everything to maintain. “You know I left a part of me back in New York You knew the hero died, so what's the movie for? You knew it still hurts underneath my scars From when they pulled me apart” I think Reira -just like Shin, has always felt like torn apart because she is mixed race. She loves New York, her mother is there and refuses to come to Japan she has many reasons to live there. But she stays. For Takumi. The media, paparazzis, general public literally pulled Reira apart. She has faced every repercussion of being a public figure, was under in constant pressure to maintain her facade, met everyone’s - her band mate’s, her agency’s, fan’s, journalist’s, Shin’s, Takumi’s expectations and she was always inadequate in one way or another.   “You knew the password, so I let you in the door You knew you won, so what's the point of keeping score? You knew it still hurts underneath my scars From when they pulled me apart But what you did was just as dark Darling, this was just as hard As when they pulled me apart” What happens next? Reira crumbles under the pressure, afraid of dying alone as Takumi builds a pseudo-family with Hachi. She begs for his love and Takumi grants her the honesty that he never showed any other women.  “Do you really want to be one of my many lovers?” Even to her queen, Takumi his unable to offer his full loyalty. Desperate, Reira accepts.  But she feels even more used, exploited, taken advantage of. Even though Takumi obliged, Reira feels completely worthless in the eyes of the man she loves so helplessly. She is full of resentment and anger.  “My only one My kingdom come undone My broken drum You have beaten my heartDon't want no other shade of blue But you No other sadness in the world would do” Being a workaholic was a defining characteristics of Takumi throughout the series, but later on we find out that it’s only for Reira’s happiness. There is no point of Trapnest’s existence unless she is content. Takumi’s intentions are never to monopolize Reira’s voice, he just wanted to see Reira on top of the kingdom, where he thinks she belongs.  In the end, it’s his songbird who causes the kingdom’s fall. Reira deprives Takumi of her voice, refuses to sing for anyone but his son (who she should hate, but can’t).  In a way, I find their story more tragic than Nana and Ren’s. Their love is so solid that you can almost touch it with your hand, but they don’t know how to handle it. Reira’s voice that bewitched Takumi, and it becomes the downfall of their love. I don’t think they can ever be together or separate from each other. I don’t believe they will ever be really happy, it’s so hopeless.These lovers are truly the demise of one another and will never ever be freed. Hachi once said that “people need to connect. Otherwise they are just bound by hand and foot.” - or something along those lines and think that’s how Reira and Takumi will die. Unable to connect, to love each other yet unable to seperate, bound by hand and foot.

[little-diable]

Five times - Draco Malfoy (fluff)

Request by my sweet willow-lillies Hiya! I was wondering if you could do a "five times the reader realized she loved him, and one time he realized he loved her" with draco malfoy ? 🥺👉👈 I just love the idea that he would blurt his feelings as soon as he figures out hes in love with the reader (also if you want to do this with anyone else I dont mind!)

Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: five times (y/n) can’t stop falling deeper for the prince of Slytherin and the time he finally makes (y/n) his. 

I. The time he had to catch her as she was falling

“Stop staring”, Jasmin mumbled, eyes following (y/n)s gaze, resting on the silvery haired prince of Slytherin. “I’m not staring”, she found her friends smirking features, (y/n)s cheeks were flushed, hating her body for betraying her like that, “is that drool? (Y/n) you have some-”, she slapped her friends hand away, rolling her eyes at the giggles that left Jasmin.

(Y/n) couldn’t remember a day where she hadn’t been into Draco, mesmerized by his bright eyes, the mysterious aura that followed him around and that breathtaking smile he shot her every single time she walked past him. 

Though she had barely exchanged a word with him in the last five years she got pulled in deeper and deeper, there was no way out, even though she knew that Draco wasn’t interested in her. 

Jasmin tugged on (y/n)s hand, “come on, I don’t want to be late for Snape's class”, she had to shake her head, to fully rip herself out of her daydream, stopping herself from finding his entrancing features once again. 

“Did you finish your essay?”, (y/n) combed through her bag, mumbling the words as she tried to find her homework, not noticing how she slowly but surely was running into a broad chest. She didn’t have any time to register what was going on as she began to sway, blinking a few times till her eyes fell upon Draco, hands trying to reach for him as she fell backwards.

“I got you”, he had his arms slung around her waist, stabilizing her before she’d actually crash down onto the floor. Sparks were shooting up her spine, skin tingling from his tight grip. “I’ll see you later (y/n), try not to run into anybody else”, his smirk made her smile, nervously chuckling as he squeezed her side one last time, brushing past her.

II. The time they had to share an umbrella 

“Alright everybody, listen up, I want you on your best behavior”, McGonagall’s voice reverberated through Hogwarts old school ground, eyes focused on her tiny frame. They were just about to make their way to Hogsmeade, about to indulge themselves with rare sweets, chocolate frogs and butter beer. 

A smile tugged on (y/n)s lips, she loved afternoons like this, finally some time to relax, time to keep themselves distracted from the essays that were waiting to be written, the exams that would come up in the following days. 

Even though she tried to keep her eyes off his frame, (y/n) could tell that he was close, mind focused on the expensive scent of his cologne, the laugh that would wake the butterflies in her tummy. “(Y/n)”, his voice made her freeze, turning towards his tall frame, eyes instantly hooked onto his bright ones, “come here”, Draco reached a hand out for her to take. 

She hadn’t noticed how rain slowly began to pour down on them, wetting her clothes as her thoughts were still circling around Draco Malfoy. He pulled (y/n) underneath his black umbrella, smiling at her, “are you cold? Do you want my coat?”, his warm breath clashed against her cold cheeks, voice dripping with concern as he watched her shudder. 

(Y/n) only shook her head no, she didn’t trust her voice, didn’t trust herself to properly answer him, she’d probably blurt out some embarrassing words anyways. Her heart was rapidly beating, palms sweaty as he pulled her even closer, arm slowly making its way around her waist, trying to keep her warm, somehow.

III. The time he saved her from Snape’s wrath

“(Y/l/n)!”, the deep, emotionless voice ripped her out of her slumber, head still placed on her books as her eyes fluttered open, trying to locate her surroundings. 

The voice repeated her name, finally pulling her back into reality, she jumped in her seat, flushed cheeks on full show as she seemed to realize that she had fallen asleep, in Snape’s class. No words rolled off her tongue, her pupils were slightly dilated, insides churning as the professor took a step towards her desk, “am I boring you that much (y/l/n)?”. 

Some slurred, incoherent words left her as she tried to sort her thoughts, body burning in exhaustion, she hadn’t been able to catch much sleep in the past few days, mind focused on her upcoming exams. “It’s my fault professor”, Draco's voice made Snape turn towards him, waiting for Malfoy to keep on talking.

“(Y/n) helped me study yesterday, I kept her awake for too long”, his shiny eyes met hers for a glimpse of a moment, winking at her confused self as Snape rolled his eyes, “next time don’t bother your classmates with your problems Malfoy”, his cloak moved with every step the tall professor took, adding to his dark aura. 

“Thank you”, (y/n) mouthed, running a trembling hand through her hair, nervously biting her lip as she tried to catch up with Snape’s rambling. Jasmin kicked (y/n)s shin underneath the table, “something going on between you and your lover boy?”, the words made a small, breathless groan spill from (y/n)s lips, “don’t tease me”.

IV. The time he showed her how to dance 

Soft music echoed through the room, drowning out the professor's voice as she explained the dance steps, she could already tell that most students were hopeless cases. “Find yourself a partner”, (y/n)’s eyes wandered along her fellow classmates, trying to figure out who she’d ask to be her dance partner, getting distracted by Pansy’s annoying voice. 

The Slytherin kept on clinging to Draco, annoyed with his bored seeming self, “no, I already have a partner Pansy”, the words made (y/n)s heart skip a few beats, weight seemed to rest on her shoulders, of course he’d never ask her to be his partner. 

She cursed her mind for pushing her into those daydreams that would leave her disappointed and confused every time she’d get pulled back into the harsh reality. Draco grasped (y/n)s wrist, “please tell me you don’t have a partner yet”, he seemed stressed, as if he was trying to run away from something, or rather someone. 

“No I don’t”, (y/n) smiled up at him, eyes finding Pansy’s annoyed ones, a fire was burning behind them, probably already plotting (y/n)s death. “Perfect”, Draco began to pull her into the middle of the room, surrounded by a few other couples, waiting for the music to start. 

“I don’t really know how to dance”, it was just above a whisper, eyes wandering down his frame, onto his feet, wondering if he’d change his mind and find another partner. “Don’t worry, I’ll lead”, Draco pulled a loose strand of her hair behind her ear, smiling at her as they began to move to the music, swaying around the room, pulled into their own bubble of happiness, only focused on one another.

V. The time he told her she looked gorgeous

She had her eyes focused on her reflection, smoothing the fabric of her gown, trying to smile at herself, it was the night of the yule ball, a night where she’d be able to let loose, to enjoy some time with her friends. But the thought of seeing Draco with the girl he had asked to be his date broke her heart apart, made (y/n) doubt if she should go down there in the first place. 

“Oh no, stop that frown”, Jasmin entered the bathroom, tugging on her friends elbow, “don’t tell me you don’t want to be my date any longer”, she pouted, finally making (y/n) smile, chuckling as she pulled her out of the room, down the stairs. By now they could already hear the soft music, the chatter of their classmates as they excitedly stumbled down the stairs.

(Y/n) couldn’t stop herself from searching for his frame, lips slightly parted as she took in the sight of his suit, the gelled back hair and that addicting laugh that rumbled through him as he spoke to his friends. He looked happy, truly did, carrying that bright smile on the lips she so desperately wanted to kiss. 

“(Y/n)”, Jasmin sighed, shooting her friend a sad smile as she pushed a glass into her hand, “want to dance?”, Jasmin twirled around in her forest green dress, set on keeping (y/n) distracted, to put a smile onto her lips. Just as (y/n) wanted to reply she felt somebody pinch her sides, “may I have this dance?”, Draco patiently waited for (y/n) to give Jasmin the glass back, wordlessly taking his hand, following him to the dance floor. 

“You look gorgeous (y/n)”, Draco's hand wandered down her spine, her skin burned with every touch of his, struggling to process the words he had just spoken. 

The time he finally seemed to realize his feelings for her

“You know, it took me a while to realize it, to understand why my heart would suddenly begin to race as you were close, the need to touch you at every given chance. But I think I finally understand what’s going on”, Draco pressed her closer against his chest, hand cupping her cheeks, “do you?”, (y/n)s gaze fell down to his lips, how easy it would be to finally kiss him. 

“I do”, Draco softly pressed his lips against hers, smiling at the soft gasp that left her, hands fisting the fabric of his suit, not letting go of him. “I am sorry that it took me this long to realize it”, he mumbled against her lips, kissing her once again before he moved away from her, twirling her around. A soft chuckle bubbled out of her, finally everything seemed to fall into place.