#I spent way to much time on this and changed the background 3 separate times
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gia-d · 1 year ago
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Total time: 10 very hot hours
Someone give this image context because I sure as hell won't.
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respectthepetty · 2 years ago
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Reading the (Visual) Rainbow 101
Lesson 3 - Other Visuals
Because I get so many asks about colors, I decided the best way to celebrate Pride is to educate anyone who is interested in how to better Read the (Visual) Rainbow and simultaneously allow myself to appreciate queer media.
Do you ever notice visual cues when watching a show? Do you ever feel the background noise is trying to tell you something important?
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Well, either way, this lesson is for you!
As mentioned in Lesson 1, visual rhetoric is the use of images to persuade the audience of the piece's purpose. Since shows are a collection of moving images, the objects included within them are used as tools to enhance our understanding of the show.
*This is a Semantic Error appreciation post*
Metaphor, Metonymy, and Meaning
To save on time, the simplest way to explain these (which they are different) is that a single item is used for a larger abstract idea. There are many examples, like a smiley face can represent happiness but also the facade of happiness, a dove can represent peace, and an hourglass represents times. For instance, when Puen gifted Talay a pink hourglass, which was his color, it symbolized the borrowed time they had, but also the time they had spent with each other in that universe.
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If lights turn on after a period of darkness, this represents an awakening or enlightenment.
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If we see hearts, we know it's love.
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If someone's face is hidden behind other objects like a mask, they have a secret.
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If we see rain, it usually means sadness (like tears), and a storm meanings conflict.
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And if we see a man drinking bitter chocolate while he watches his crush go to lunch with a bunch of women, we can assume he, too, is bitter.
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But you don't always have to look at the deeper meaning of objects because sometimes, the object speaks directly to us:
Clothing - That's a Loud Outfit
Clothing is one of the easiest elements to notice in media because it is on the characters, and we regularly see them.
Let's rewind to Lesson 2 - Color Basics. We learned about the difference between warm colors and cool colors, and that the colors include lighting. If you watched George Michael's "Freedom! '90" music video, you may have noticed that the lighting changes from cool to warm during the video. Maybe you noticed the changed truly began with the burning of Michael's infamous BSA Rocker's Revenge leather jacket that he wore in his 1987 "Faith" video which cemented him as a sex object.
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Michael, the epitome of masculinity at that moment, surprisingly decided to not appear in this video. Instead, the music video famously featured supermodels (in their prime - LINDA EVANGELISTA!) in various states of undress. If you noticed the lyrics, Michael sings that clothes do not make the man as the chorus builds to Michael repeating "Freedom!" several times.
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The burning of Michael's jacket, a piece of clothing, brings warmth and happiness due to what the jacket symbolizes. The models, whose job is to wear clothing, experience warm light the more they shed their clothes.
This is visual rhetoric at its finest. The visuals are reinforcing the narrative of the song. Normally, nudity means freedom and vulnerability, but within the context of the song, it means even more. The clothes do not make the models. They themselves are the show. Michael, much like the models, wants to distinguish his identity and separate it from the labels that have been imposed on him. The lighting, the clothes, and the items all support that message.
But sometimes the clothing isn't symbolic. Sometimes the clothing tells a blunt message, where it clearly spells out who or what the character loves.
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Sometimes its more subtle, like the possibility of the W over Kitae's heart representing his love for Wan.
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Sometimes, the clothing tells the plot because Jaeyoung wears his "DIE BITCH" jacket when he first meets Sangwoo since he really wants that bitch to die.
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And sometimes, the clothing can just be for funsies.
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Posters - The Writing is on the Wall
Printed material can offer textual support for the show's purpose. It is another layer of what we are seeing play out on our screen, but sometimes, it's harder to notice.
If you watched Hayley Kiyoko's "She" video, you might have noticed that her clothing spoke to the audience. She wore a bright shirt that reads "Everyone Loves an Asian Girl" with rainbow socks.
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But you might have also noticed the posters on her walls.
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Lance Bass who was a member of NSYNC, the second-best boy band behind Backstreet Boys, publicly came out in 2006. It was a big deal. He is the first poster we notice since it's bright red. The poster on the right of him is of twin sisters and openly gay musicians, Tegan and Sara. Sprinkled throughout the posters are ones for Fanta Orange. Coca-Cola had a popular campaign titled "This Coke is a Fanta" which was based on the (homophobic) Brazilian phrase "Essa Coca é Fanta." In 2018, Coca-Cola flipped the phrase and produced limited edition red coke cans filled with orange Fanta and distributed them while embracing the phrase. If we didn't realize Kiyoko was gay from her socks, the posters help to reinforce the song's purpose - Kiyoko must stay true to herself throughout her struggles.
The writing on the wall helps focus the audience's attention on what is important in that moment.
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Because it can tell the characters' state of mind like being in hell.
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Or what we should expect from the plot of trying new things and doing things differently.
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Signs - Follow the Signs
Much like posters, signs clearly spell out what we are supposed to understand from the scene. If the sign is next to the character, we can assume the sign is about the character or their arc.
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Like letting us know the character is having a queer awakening.
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Books - Judge Them by Their Covers
Books tend to reinforce what we are seeing within the scene and can also offer additional information about the characters that isn't vocally stated. If we see romance novels near a character, it implies the character, regardless of their outwardly appearance, is a romantic at heart.
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Or perhaps they are trying to learn more about their robotic crush by reading "AI" or feeling it's "Doomsday" because they caught feelings for a guy.
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Activity
Remember that you are watching a visual piece of media; therefore, the visuals ARE being used to persuade you. If there is a lot of items in the background, pause the scene, and examine what is being shown. Are the items simply telling us about the character's personality? Are we being told about the plot? Are we being told more?
Also, keep in mind that the item may be talking to you in a language you can't speak. Most of the included examples were in English, but a few aren't since the media we are consuming is not in English. You might miss some textual clues, but think about why you are being shown these items.
There are many more ways that the background noise provides visual support for the narrative, so to prepare for the next lesson, watch either music video, and think about how the split screens are being used to show barriers, boundaries, and order.
Joel Corry x MNEK "Head & Heart" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRuOOxF-ENQ
Silvy "Queen" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZLGkkDHkRE
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reidsbuckley · 2 years ago
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The Will Voice™; A MasterDoc.
*To skip straight to content, scroll to the subheading titled 'Background'. If you don't care for the background (what the voice is & means), skip to 'Season 1'.*
If you don't know me, hi. I'm Belle, and I'm (considerably) most well-known for 4 things on Tumblr and Twitter.
(1) My writing, which consists of smaus and fics on AO3.
(2) My analyses, specifically my one over Mike's S4 body language.
(3) My consistent talk of byler/reddie parallels and what I like to call "reddie remix".
(4) My in-depth knowledge of the Will Voice™.
That fourth one is what this is going to be about (and, as this is a masterdoc, it is going to be long).
I've spent a considerable amount of time looking at and listening to the scenes that contain the Will Voice™, by which I mean when I made my first video of it I had to sit through five hours worth of byler scenes, so it's safe to say that I know it pretty well (so well, in fact, that during my initial watch of volume 2 I picked up on the Will Voice™ immediately in the cabin scene (something I'll get into a little later)).
Before I give a full listing of each scene that the voice is used, I'd like to give a bit of background to the voice and how I as an audience member perceive the voice and what I take away from it.
Background.
The Will Voice™ isn't the only Byler voice out there. There is also the Will Voice™ Lite, the Borderline Will Voice™, and the Mike Voice™ (to which the previous versions of apply as well, however I will (potentially) be making a separate masterdoc over it).
What's the difference? How can I tell? What do they each mean?
Obviously there's lots of questions to be asked about the voice, but there's two main ones that can really answer them all, and they're as follows:
What's the difference between each of the versions of the Will Voice™? As I said before, you have the original Will Voice™, the Will Voice™ Lite, and the Borderline Will Voice™. The difference between each of these is simple. The original is the one that is completely the Will Voice™. Strictly and completely and utterly and entirely and only the Will Voice™. Nothing more, nothing less. It's the softest that Mike's voice ever is, and despite the changes he goes through (puberty), it's still that way. Even if it is a little deeper or he can't get it quite as low (quiet), it's still there. The Will Voice™ Lite would be when they're fighting or Mike is talking to Will from a distance but he's still using the Will Voice™. He might be upset and/or he's angry, so he's going to want to yell and raise his voice, but he manages to still keep it very calm and low and quiet despite those feelings that he's having. The best example of this would be during their Rink-O-Mania fight in season 4 right after Will says "And us?" and Mike turns around and asks "What?". That "What?" is the Will Voice™ Lite. As for the Borderline Will Voice™, this would be the hardest to pick out of the three, but if you know the other two then you'll know this one as well. It's when he's not talking about anything too serious or they're not having a serious conversation, there's not too many/high emotions from either of them, but his voice is still in that soft and calm nature. For this, the best example would be in the van scene in season 4 after Will asks how far Nina is from Vegas and Mike says "About another 90 miles. Why?". It's soft and sweet and calm, but it's not the full on Will Voice™ (and that's because of what the Will Voice™ means/was created for/is used for and the reasoning behind it).
But what is the Will Voice™? What does it mean? *skip to end of question for a TLDR* This questions is more of on of an opinion. We're (all of you (fans & viewers) as well as myself) are not the writers nor the creators of the show. We don't know know what it means nor if it's there on purpose (though considering just how much of it there is and that I'm able to create a masterdoc over it, I wouldn't say it's out of the realm of possibilities). So what's my philosophy? The Will Voice™ is a voice that Mike uses only when talking to Will. He only uses it with Will talking to Will about Will (& sometimes himself). Him only using it when talking to Will about Will is probably the most important part when looking at the Will Voice™. Mike generally uses the Will Voice™ when he's concerned for Will. This means that if it seems like Will's not okay and he asks him, he uses the voice (see season 1 episode 8, 'The Upside Down', in which at the hospital when the boys are all in to see Will and Will goes into a coughing fit, Mike pulls out the Will Voice™ and asks the simple words of "You okay?"). He also uses this voice to fill Will with courage and to give him a sense of encouragement and reassurance, but you'll often find that ties into him having some form of worry over Will. But the voice isn't just for Will. It's for himself, too. It is just as important for himself as it is for Will. For Mike, there's also a sense of comfort that it brings him. However, even when he's using it for himself, he's still using it for Will (there's only one time this isn't true, but it is so important and makes everything make that much more sense). It's important to know, too, that the voices (the Will Voice™ & the Mike Voice™) were likely created as coping mechanisms for the both of them– something that Mike started and that Will picked up on, leading them to both have their voices that they only do for one another. So to answer this question in short, the Will Voice™ is a coping mechanism created by Mike for himself and Will that provides them comfort, encouragement, and reassurance.
Now that we've covered the background, I'd like to give a full listing of each versions of the Will Voice™ by season.
*Bold = Original, Italicized = Lite, Both = Borderline*
Season 1
s1 e8 - The Original Will Voice™, At the hospital.
*Will goes into a coughing fit.* *Mike reaches arm out to tap Will on the shoulder and then asks him a question.* "You okay?" "It got me. The demogorgon."
Season 2
s2 e1 - The Original Will Voice™ & the Will Voice™ Lite, Palace Arcade.
*Will is in a now-memory/shadow walking/having an episode.* *Mike comes outside to check on Will, startling him.* "Are you okay?" "Yeah, I just...I needed some air." "Come on. You're up on Dig Dug. Let's take that top score back, huh?"
s2 e2 - The Original Will Voice™ & the Will Voice™ Lite, Trick-or-Treating.
*Will is in a now-memory/shadow walking/having an episode.* *Mike finds Will and grabs his shoulders, pulling him out.* "Will, are you okay? I couldn't find you. Are– are you hurt?" *Max, Lucas, and Dustin come down.* "Is he okay?" "I– I don't know. I'm gonna get you home, okay? I'm gonna get you home."
s2 e2 - The Original Will Voice™ & the Will Voice™ Lite, In Mike's basement.
"Caught between two slides?"
"Hey, well, if we're both going crazy, we'll go crazy together, right?" "Yeah. Crazy together."
s2 e3 - Borderline Will Voice™, In the school hallway.
"What?" "It's about D'artagnan."
s2 e4 - Borderline Will Voice™, The field.
"Will...I don't know, I just found him like this!"
s2 e6 - The Original Will Voice™, Will's bedroom.
"Maybe that's good." "Good?" "Just think about it, Will. You're like a spy now– a super spy– spying on the shadow monster. If you know what he's seeing and feeling, maybe that's how we can stop him. Maybe all of this is happening for a reason." "You really think so?" "Yeah! Yeah, I really do."
s2 e6 - The Borderline Will Voice™, Will's Room
"Will. What's wrong?"
2 e6 - The Original Will Voice™, The hospital
"What's wrong? Are you hurting again?" ... "In your now-memories?"
s2 e8 - The Original Will Voice™ & the Will Voice™ Lite, "Interrogations"
"Do you remember the day we met? It was the first day of kindergarten. I knew nobody. I had no friends. I just felt so alone and so scared. But then I saw you on the swings, and you were alone too. You were swinging by yourself, and I just went up to you and I asked. I asked if you wanted to be my friend. And you said yes. You said yes. It was the best thing I've ever done."
Season 3
s3 e1 - The Original Will Voice™, The movies
"Hey. Are you okay?" "Yeah." "Are you sure?" "Of course."
s3 e3 - The Original Will Voice™ & The Will Voice™ Lite, Mike's basement & Mike's garage (the rain fight)
"Will, come on. I was just messing around. Let's finish for real. How much longer is the campaign?" "Just forget it, Mike!" "No, we want to keep playing, right?" "Y-y-yeah! Totally!" "We'll just call the girls afterwards." "I said forget it, Mike, okay? I'm going home." "But– come on, Will." "Move!" "Will, come on! You can't leave, it's raining. Listen, I said I was sorry, alright? It's a cool campaign, it's really cool.We're just...not in the mood right now." "Yeah, Mike! That's the problem. You guys are never in the mood anymore. You're ruining our party." "That's not true!" "Really? Where's Dustin right now? See? You don't know, and you don't even care, and obviously he doesn't either and I don't blame him. You're destroying everything, and for what? So you can swap spit with some stupid girl?" "El's not stupid! It's not my fault you don't like girls! I'm not trying to be a jerk. Okay? But we're not kids anymore. I mean what did you think, really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? That we were gonna just sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?""Will, I was just messing around. Let's finish for real. How much longer is the campaign?" "Yeah. I guess I did. I really did." "Will...Will! Will, come on!"
s3 e4 - The Borderline Will Voice™, Mike's Basement (one of the few exceptions to the rules)
"They're conspiring against me."
s3 e8 - The Original Will Voice™, Will's kitchen
"Yeah, but, what if you want to join another party?"
Season 4
s4 e2 - The Will Voice™ Lite, Rink-O-Mania
"Well what about us?" "What?" "You're mad that I didn't talk to you? Seems like you've made it super clear that you're not interested in anything I have to say." "That's just not true." "You've called maybe a couple times. It's been a year, Mike. Meanwhile, El has like a book of letters from you." "That's because she's my girlfriend, Will." "And us?" "We're friends! We're friends." "Well we used to be best friends!" "Well then maybe you should've reached out more. I– I don't know, but why is this on me? Why– why am I the bad guy?"
s4 e4 - The Original Will Voice™, Will's bedroom
"I have no idea what's gonna happen next, but whatever it is, I think we should work together. I think it'll be easier if we're a team...friends...best friends."
s4 e8 - The Original Will Voice™ & The Borderline Will Voice™, The van
"As long as Suzie's coordinates are right, about another 90 miles. Why?" ... "This is amazing. Did you paint this?" ... "...and she always will." "Yeah?" "Yeah."
s4 e9 - The Original Will Voice™, The cabin
"And we will. We will."
Now that we've gone over every scene that it's used, let's go over how what this means for some of those scenes.
The Analysis, Pt. 1
For this section, I will be talking specifically about seasons 3 & 4, because seasons 1 & 2 are straight to the point and self-explanatory with its use, whereas 3 & 4 get a little more off the beaten path at certain points. In the rain fight, you have Will getting upset with Mike (and Lucas) for their sarcasm during the campaign, clearly not having any real interest at the moment, causing Will to be upset (and understandably so). Will turns off the music, takes off his costume, beginning to gather his things to go home, but Mike doesn't want him to. Sure, you could just say that it's him feeling bad. After all, this is his best friend. Who wouldn't feel bad if they made their best friend upset? The thing is, though, that he makes the decision, whether consciously or not, to use the Will Voice™, and oh my god does it piss me off. Not because he shouldn't use it. He, by all means, should use it, and in fact I would have liked him to use it more in seasons 3 & 4, but that's the exact reason why it makes it so glaringly obvious in the fight that the reason he's using it is because he's being genuine in his apology. The only time Mike doesn't use it during this fight is when El is brought up. All of this is to say that during this fight Mike wanted Will to stay, that he wanted to fix things, that he didn't want Will to leave (further proved by him following Will out of his house and to his garage, pausing his leaving for a minute before he did leave, only to follow him to his house and pound on his door before going out into the woods where he does, in fact, find Will, but really, who's keeping track?)
When it comes to season 4, a very similar but also different thing happens in the Rink-O-Mania fight. First, Mike doesn't start off using the voice, which is our first contrast from the rain fight. This is because he's talking about El, not Will. Then that switches IMMEDIATELY when Will says "Well what about us?" I mean, the next words out of Mike's mouth are in the Will Voice™ Lite. That's not the last of it, either. If you'll notice, too, he only switches back to his normal voice again when El is mentioned, and uses his normal voice when talking about her, thus furthering that the voice is meant for Will. This is important here, though, because it shows that Mike is meaning what he's saying when he refutes Will's claim about him not caring what he has to say. It's important when talking about Mike saying "Well then maybe you should've reached out more" because, when taking into account Dustin saying Mike was always complaining about how he could never get through to the Byers household because of Joyce's telemarketer job (and he uses Cerebro to talk to El because the government can listen in on their phone calls), he did reach out, insinuating that Will is the one who didn't, or at least didn't as much (something that is all but confirmed for us in the Van Scene). It's important because it tells us, the viewers, that Mike cares more than Will knows, he's just not voicing it correctly.
Lastly, I'd like to talk about his use of it in the Van Scene itself. Now, these scene is, first and foremost, about Will, his feelings for Mike, and him being gay. Apart from his feelings for Mike, it has strikingly little to do with Mike. However, we do see into Mike's mind a bit with this scene at a few different points, so let's break it down.
The Van Scene, Pt. 1
MIKE'S FIRST LINE IN SEASON 4, VOLUME 2, IS IN THE WILL VOICE™, FULLY AND COMPLETELY, HIS MATURED VERSION OF THE ORIGINAL (only it wasn't the original, it was borderline), AND I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH AND HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS.
Like, okay, look, I'm not one to hang on to insignificant scenes within TV shows, because it doesn't really do anything for me most of the time. However, this line is just so..."As long as Suzie's coordinates are right, about another 90 miles. Why?" I mean, what was the need or the reason behind him saying it like that? There was nothing going on, the conversation was completely apart from any serious topic at all, (but still having to do with the both of them), and yet he said it like that? Oh, I am at the writer's mercy with this one (which says a lot, considering the end of the Van Scene, something much more dear to me). Really, it just goes to show how much Mike cares for Will, and how much he's worrying over him (even if he doesn't necessarily realize it).
Not too long after this, though, Will gives him the painting. Mike's face lights up at the sight. I mean, he canonically has a binder full of Will's art, and has kept up at least some of his artwork hung up throughout every single season. That is something. So now, after several months of no artwork and little contact with Will, he has what's probably the best painting that he's ever scene (I mean, it's not like he's taking trips to the Louvre to see the Mona Lisa). His words, though..."This is amazing! Did you paint this?" I mean, really Mike? The Original Will Voice™? Why must you do this to me? You're pulling at my heartstrings, friend. Like, the sheer desperation in his voice and need for it to have come from Will, and then his face after Will says El commissioned it, how he's not even smiling anymore...I mean, just look at this kid, because these four snapshots say all that they need to:
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^ Before Will said that El commissioned it.
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^ After Will said that El commissioned it.
MOVING ON!
The Van Scene, Pt. 2
I need for everyone to take a minute before reading this next part because it may become very incomprehensible because I kind of lose it over this next part. Okay, are we good? Good. Let's get into it.
Here's what I wrote about this 8 days after Vol.2 came out:
"The painting scene in and of itself is very Will centric. This is clear through, first and foremost, the painting (obviously). However, as confirmed in interviews, his monologue about El also shows this because he was, in fact, talking about himself. What does this have to do with Mike? At the end of Will's monologue, Mike uses his Will Voice™ when he asks Will "Yeah?" (referring to El always needing him (the yeah was yeahing by the way)). But here's the thing. If you've read through my other thread, you'll know I mentioned something very specific about this voice: Mike only uses his Will Voice™ when talking to Will, about Will. Notice I said "to" and "about". By simply watching the video with the majority of the Will Voice™ scenes, it's clear that's true. So why is that important here? Taking into account Will is talking about himself (El being his cover), and Mike only uses his Will Voice™ when talking to Will about Will, does that not prove that Mike knows that, at some point at the very least (even if subconsciously**), Will was talking about himself? Additionally, Mike generally uses this to reassure Will, but from the s3 fight we're able to find that, while true, he also uses it for himself. I'll explain it this way: Mike created the Will Voice™ as a coping mechanism for both of him and Will. (An interesting/fun addition: It's been well established at this point that Mike does, in fact, have a Will Voice™. but what if I told you that Will has a Mike Voice™, too? Now it's not used very much and, to that extent has less footage, but it's still there (back to the thread)). Mike's use of his Will Voice™ in the van in the painting scene shows us that he's looking for reassurance from Will over what exactly his monologue was about. (**Does he know this? Probably not. They were all high on emotions (Argyle literally high), so it's unlikely he realizes it.) That being said, I don't think Will *knows* there's a Will Voice™ that Mike does for him. If he did, things would be very different between them (imo). All of this goes without saying this is my personal opinion and you are free to disagree (just know you're wrong (joking)).
— transcribed from my Twitter, reidsbuckley, and to be found here: The Yeah Was Yeahing.
Note that I partially disagree with my statement about Will not knowing about the WIll Voice™, which I will explain further down, but it is what I believed at the time.
So basically, the yeah was yeahing.
I know that I have said this before, and I know that I haven't explained it out super well, but I'll tell you this: upon my realization that Mike does this, I had a three hour breakdown. Needless to say, it's pretty important.
At the very end of the Van Scene, after Will says "El needs you, Mike, and she always will," Mike says the line "Yeah?" in the Original Will Voice™, changing the trajectory of my life. I mean, he could have said it in any way that he wanted to, but he chose to use the Will Voice™, a voice that I know based on the Mike Voice™ that Will has picked up on, a voice in which Will responds with a "Yeah" in to Mike's "Yeah?"– do you see why this causes me so much distress? I mean, okay, yeah, say the word "yeah", I'm all for it, but was the Will Voice™ necessary? Well, I have an answer. The Duffers said that Mike has some sort of understanding of what Will was saying, but that he wasn't all there yet, meaning that the use of the Will Voice™ proves that Mike sometimes uses the voice subconsciously and without even thinking about it because it just comes natural to him, meaning that his subconscious picked up on what Will was saying but he still doesn't consciously understand yet.
Thus, the yeah was yeahing.
Not to mention his face when he says it??????
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^ Bonus points for his face after Will says "Yeah" in his Mike Voice™ in response.
So! That about wraps up the Will Voice™ Masterdoc. If you made it this far, props to you for reading. I'm really proud of this (and the six months that it took me (lack of motivation really alters the time you spend on things)), and if you are looking for more information/where this all stems from you can check out the links below that will direct you to my Twitter account. Much love. <3
Twitter: @/reidsbuckley All info about the Will Voice™ (& the Mike Voice™) can be found here: The Will & Mike Voice™ Thread
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Joella Fairwinter:
Character Profile and Backstory, Including her Shared History with Astarion
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I needed to infodump about this to people, damn it! Let me tell you about BG3!Joey and how instead of how it is in canon, she and Astarion have an entire decade of prior history with each other prior to the events of the game.
Name: Joella Fairwinter
Nickname: Joey
Gender: Cis Female (She/Her Pronouns)
Age: 63 (Developmental roughly equivalent to a human in their early to mid thirties, but does suffer from a chronic case of baby face that runs in her family)
Neurotype: Autistic
Race: High Half-Elf (Human Father, High Elf Mother)
Class: Sorcerer (Wild Magic)
Occupation: Apothecary
Home: Baldur’s Gate
Family: Lelia Fairwinter (Mother, Age 470), Johan Wise (Father, Age 92), Freya Fairwinter (Maternal Half-Sister, Alive but Never Met), Killian Fairwinter (Uncle), Faelynn Fairwinter (Aunt), Theron Fairwinter (Cousin), Marcus Shorehand (Distant Cousin), Holston Shorehand (Distant Cousin)
Friends of Note: Lys Du Claire* (Half-Wood Elf Urban Ranger), Lukyan (Tiefling Paladin), Merl (Familiar, a Large Tuxedo Cat)
*Is another one of my BG3 Player Characters
Personality Traits – Kind, Accepting, Patient, Loyal, Honest, Anxious, Stubborn, Perfectionistic, Emotionally Self-Effacing, Hates Conflict
Backstory:
63 years prior to the events of Baldur’s Gate 3, Joey was born to the Magistrate Lelia Fairwinter and her husband of the time, the bard Johan ‘Robinsong’ Wise in the city of Baldur’s Gate. Due to her mother coming from a well to do background, Joey’s early childhood was very comfortable and insular. However, that changed quite a bit, when her mother and father, in spite loving in each other very much, could no longer live together (due to incompatible ways of living which clashed against one another). While they didn’t divorce, they did separate, and Johan returned to his life as a commoner (albeit it with some money given to him by his wife at her insistence). Due to an agreement between her parents, Joey was shuttled between them throughout the rest of her childhood and adolescence, growing up in a world that was not a mix of human and elven culture, but of common and noble society as well.
Eventually, Joey took interest in the Apothecary trade, much to her mother’s surprise (and disappointment). Eventually, after a series of different living arrangements, she came to live with a maternal aunt, uncle, and cousin (who are poorer relations compared to the rest of that side of the family). Eventually, as her father came into old age and needed some help around the house, he was taken into the household as well. She considered her life defined by working in the apothecary shop, caring for her elderly father, and doing her best to master her rather volatile magical gifts. In her spare time, she spent time with friends or indulged in a good book.
However, a peculiar turns of events sent her life on a strange and frightening trajectory she never expected- entwined her fate to a man people in her circle believed to be dead and buried. And it started 10 years ago, in an upscale tavern where she was to meet a friend of hers.
While her friend had yet to appear, Joey encountered a rather mysterious and… peculiar man during the wait. He introduced himself as ‘Astarion’, and proceeded to have a brief conversation with her, clearly attempting to flirt with her and even attempting to coax her away with him. Joey found herself rather flustered and flabbergasted, but managed to utter a polite refusal. Her friend appeared, and Astarion quickly lost interest, fixing his attentions on another patron across the way. The rest of the evening was uneventful, and as far as Joey was concerned it was hardly anything of note. Just… a bit strange.
However, when she related the story back to her cousin the next day, he was rather intrigued. He had a late friend by the name of Astarion. He had been a colleague of Joey’s mother, a fellow magistrate and peer, and because they worked in the same courthouse and both had a penchant for quick jabs and a good laugh, her cousin and Astarion had become good friends. Her cousin remarks that perhaps she would have liked to meet his friend, although it’s hard to say whether the two would have gotten along.
Once again, it was interesting, but it was nothing Joey really thought on at first.
However, she ran into ‘her’ Astarion again after that first night. Quite a few times actually. At first, he didn’t seem too keen to interact with her compared to when they first met. Although he tolerated her presence. Eventually however, he seemed to cautiously come out of his shell, be more friendly with her. Even so, he seemed to keeps his cards close to his chest. Even after the time they spent, it occurred to Joey she still knew very little about him. Aside from his personality – he was confident, flirtatious and vain, with a penchant for threatrics, and had something of an uncaring/cruel streak at times. But she also learned something about him- that he wasn’t used to simple and genuine kindness. She wondered how much of what he presented to the world was genuine. Because it seemed like when her kindness caught him off guard… it seemed to reveal something else was underneath. Someone who was more afraid and uneasy than he let on, someone who had been hurt. Who may still be hurting.
And he never lingered too long around her. Although some nights he lingered longer than others.
She would have liked to think and she and Astarion became friends of a sort. They were amicable, and over time, he seemed to lose a bit of his cruel streak, at least around her, and he revealed himself to be a more wary, cynical, and uncertain sort. But he also revealed that her kindness was appreciated. He warned her she was naive for trusting someone like him, but he couldn’t say he didn’t appreciate her willingness to give him the benefit of the doubt all the same.
This went on for a number of years, until one day, she went to go visit her mother at the courthouse she worked at currently, as she had moved districts.
Joey was waiting for her in the hall, eyeing the portraits of former judges. And she was startled when her eyes fell on a portrait with a remarkably familiar face.
… Astarion?
Indeed, the man in the portrait was of striking resemblance to the man she had known for some years now. He looked just like him, save for the fact he wasn’t quite so pale, and his eyes were a deep, dark gold instead of a bloody red. He still had a bit of an air of vanity about him but he seemed…. Softer. More approachable.
She read the name plate, and indeed the given named inscribed for the individual in the portrait was ‘Astarion’.
What was going on here?
Her mother emerged from her chambers and found Joey examining the portrait, which led to a conversation where she asked about the late Magistrate. Who was he, as far as her mother knew? What was he like? … How did he die?
It was most curious. The portrait and the man she knew were so alike. A rather ludicrous thought occurred to her.
Was it possible that her Astarion and the late Magistrate were one at the same? That he was somehow not dead? How was he still alive? Why was he hiding out in places at night and letting others believe he was dead?
Was he up to no good? Or was he in trouble of a sort? What she heard from others led her to believe he was once upstanding so… what happened?
He had been so reluctant to talk about himself… why? This led to her doing a sort of unofficial ‘investigation’ of sorts, with the help of a pair of friends (Lys and Lukyan) to perhaps unearth the mystery of Astarion. And once she knew the truth, she was going to confront Astarion about it. That was her plan.
However, after some time into this endeavor, things came to a sudden, grinding halt on multiple fronts.
Joey’s friend, Lukyan, came to warn her away from continuing the investigation. He did not expect it at the time, but their probing had caught the attention of some influential folks whose feathers were dangerous to ruffle, and it was best not to ruffle them further. He could not in good conscience continue to help her, and he tried to discourage Lys from doing so either (he overheard something from a noble who, as would later be discovered, was connected to Cazador).
Second, Astarion suddenly grew cold to her, acting contemptuous of her presence, seeming eager to be rid of her. It hurt, but what hurt the most about it, was when she asked if she had done something, he simply told her he’d simply grown tired of her. (Unbeknownst to her, this was a lie said to push her away for her safety, as Astarion believed she was increasingly in danger of coming to the attention of someone who could hurt or kill her, or worse, destroy her and make her just like him. As it would turn out, he was right.)
Her company spurned, and her friends trying to pull her back from her endeavor, Joey was feeling powerless and lost. But, soon, she was about to be made even more powerless and left feeling afraid and uncertain. For one night, as she was walking home, she was attacked. She managed to fend off her attacker, being forced to kill them in self-defense. But when she examined them afterward, she discovered she had been set up by a Vampire (well, a Vampire Spawn, but still). And in that examination of the body, she remembered something. Certain peculiarities about Astarion began to click into place. The eyes, his complexion, the strange scar that looked like puncture marks in his neck. The fact she only seemed to be able to find him after sundown. The way he seemed particularly obsessed with necks. And come to think of it… had she ever seen his reflection?
No… it couldn’t be, could it?
She had come to another ludicrous conclusion. But after the attack, she was wounded, and needed to rest before she did anything. She would also need to be vigilant, should she be attacked again.
Thankfully, she managed to rest up at home without disturbance. But she wasn’t so sure she was truly safe.
Unfortunately things were about to go very, very wrong. Only a day after she recovered from her injuries, the city of Baldur’s Gate was attacked by a Mind Flayer ship that emerged from a portal that opened up in the sky. Buildings were destroyed, people were injured, and many were abducted by the vessel. And after sacrificing herself by putting herself in the way of a tentacle reaching for her father, she found herself among the abducted, imprisoned in a pod upon the ship.
She was subsequently infected with a mind flayer parasite. But little did she know, Astarion himself was also snatched and infected as well, and just as their paths had been forced to part, they would be forced to cross again when an opportunity presented itself for her to escape her captivity.
What would happen at their inevitable reunion? With their fates intertwining once again, how would their decade old bond grow and change? What sorts of new allies would they meet, entreat, and befriend? And how would each of them change each other and those around them, both within and without?
It is all yet to be seen.
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felixcloud6288 · 1 year ago
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Fullmetal Alchemist Chapter 48
Heist 3 is a success, but everything quickly falls apart.
Hawkeye shows off her marksman skills. She managed to shoot Scar while driving a vehicle to a skidding stop.
Lin nearly threw his back out lifting Gluttony.
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If the fight with Scar had background music attached to it, Ed and Al's dramatic speech as they prepare to defeat Scar would be accompanied by a crescendo followed by off-tune tuba note when May interrupts everything and helps Scar escape.
Something seems off about Wrath's expression when he sees Hawkeye and Lin traveling together.
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It's like he's excited to realize Roy has some connection to the foreigners who he caught hunting the Homunculi.
After it's first mention in chapter 32, we finally see a demonstration of Xingese Alchemy being used for healing purposes. May mentions that she can't heal where the "flow of power" in the human body can't reach, nor can she grow back limbs. So that means she can't give Ed a new arm nor heal Havoc's spine.
And now that everything's calmed down, Scar takes a moment to reflect on what happened with Winry.
Not really sure how Xiao Mei got separated from May Chang. She probably got lost in the smokescreen.
Al tosses Xiao Mei into his armor in the next scene.
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Scenes like the one where Winry is sharing a drink with Bradley are so much better due to us knowing he's actually Wrath. We see Ed and Al walk into the room that Winry is in, then turn the page and see Wrath. If you didn't worry the first time you read it, then you've somehow skipped every scene every scene he's been in. We'd spent the last few chapters watching him hunt down Lin and Lan Fan like a monster. Then he suddenly appears in what is supposed to be a calm scene. And even though he takes his leave and tells Ed to take care of Winry, we're left with a sense of unease that Ed and Al are completely oblivious to.
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Winry had Ed's jacket in her lap during that scene but when they're all traveling to the hotel, the jacket vanishes. No one is carrying it and Ed is never seen wearing it again.
Winry gets a call from Garfiel and all the clients she's helped since taking on an apprenticeship with him. They all reaffirm what Ed told her. She is someone who saves lives, just like her parents. And there are people waiting for her help.
Meanwhile, Havoc is doing what he can to stay fit despite his condition. He's accepted that he won't be able to stay in the military, and plans to find some other way to help support his team. They're waiting for him to catch up.
Ed promises that he won't make Winry cry again, except out of happiness. And she glimpses his back one last time before the train leaves.
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Xiao Mei popped out of Al's armor when Roy picks them up. He's even petting her.
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Roy picks up Ed, Al, and Dr. Knox in a new car since Scar destroyed the old one. I have no idea what happened to the one Hawkeye stole commandeered in chapter 45. She drove it into the fight to pick up Lin and Gluttony, but it's nowhere to be seen later.
Also not sure where Lin go the new shirt and jacket. Roy's wearing the same shirt and jacket so maybe Roy has some extra clothes lying around that house just in case.
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Roy and Lin's discussion confirms this is the first time they've actually met despite working together for the Heist. I guess this means Roy didn't intend to involve Lin in the Super Heist and Lin decided to inform Al and join in for his own reasons.
There's a jacket laid over Lan Fan's bed. It appears to be the one Dr. Knox was wearing.
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During their post-Heist 3 briefings, Lin reveals how he caught a WAY bigger fish than expected when he discovered Bradley was a Homunculus. Roy's eyes did that thing when he got that bit of info.
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But things start to fall apart when everyone starts arguing over what to do next since they all have their own separate ideas of what to do with Gluttony. And then things literally fall apart when he breaks free and begins to rampage.
Poor Dr. Knox is another normal person being dragged into the shenanigans and uncovering grand conspiracies, just like Maria and Danny. He has nothing to do with any of this and now he's privy to the existence of the Homunculi and he gets to find out that the President is a Homunculus. And now the poor guy is caught up having to deal with Gluttony going on a rampage.
back
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vulpiximisa · 2 years ago
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going through tsurune again and rolling my eyes at the seiya/minato only to find out that it’s the most popular ship in the fandom and so here’s my essay about why I don’t care for childhood friend ships
I think the appeal is for the characters to have “someone who knows you inside and out and can understand you as a person and is always by your side” and for me it makes me super uncomfortable because that person for me is my sister. And it’s not like I’m going to say “ew childhood friends ships are literal incest” because I’m not a fcking idiot who doesn’t know how to interpret relationships between charas and real people.
It’s also a matter of the characters themselves. If both characters are equally Whole Characters who do things individually and when they are together they can become a duo, that’s fine. But most ships I have seen that people enjoy are not like this. Always one character will make the other character their entire personality.
I’m going to use Mako////Haru and the Sei////Mina as examples. Both Makoto and Seiya literally eat sleep breathe and think about Haru and Minato. “Aw but it’s so sweet they’re so devoted to them.” Not to me it’s not, I want a whole ass character, not just MC’s DLC. (SouRin too.) They literally ruined Makoto’s character arc when he realized he didn’t have to swim to be with Haru and decided to coach kids but then made him want to coach Haru in S3 and it’s like hhhhRRRRRRR WHY. Seiyas literally only doing archery to be with Minato. Sousuke is a fcking idiot that ruined his body for Rin.
Perhaps it’s KyoAni realizing that this kind of relationship sells so I’m going to mention another ship.
Tsukki///Yama from Haikyuu. “Yamaguchi has major character growth!!” And he does, good job Guch. But initially he was literally Tsuki’s lackey. He starts to move away from that when he practices his serves and even though the “what more do you need than your pride” scene was a big step for him, I find that every time Yamaguchi steps into the court, there’s always a focus on Tsuki, framed in the way that it’s like “I’m here to back up tsukki, to help tsukki” and not like The Team as a whole.
I think Kuro////Ken are a great example of how childhood friends could be. Aside from them being a year apart, they’re very much their own characters but they do know each other very well and have their own thing going on. (I don’t care much for seijou so I’m not gonna talk about Iwa////Oi)
Back to tsurune, Nanao and Kaito are what they could be but they’re cousins so nobody is gonna ship them. But the fact that they are family reiterates my reason, that you don’t have to fall in love with the person you spent most of your life with.
“But what about the long time pining!!!” Iunno man, I guess I don’t have an argument for that. If they fell in love as a kid and continue the feelings until they’ve matured, makes me wonder if they’ll reevaluate that and not just “stick with it because that’s all they’ve ever known”. It’s worse for me if they never considered them until Suddenly something changed. I mean sure whatever.
I’m okay with the ones where they might have known each other when they were young but they separated and didn’t see each other until they’re both older. It’s about learning that the person is not the same person and having to get to know them again.
Oh that’s why I don’t like childhood friend ships. I don’t like when I’m given information that “oh yeah, they are friends, trust me on this.” (The entire reason I don’t ship Aso////Ryu from GAA.) I like seeing the development, how did they meet, how would they grow to know each other, when do they start thinking different? (On a related note, it’s why GoPri is better than Fresh in the dynamic with the first 3 cures, because GoPri didn’t take the lazy way out of writing 3 girls with very different backgrounds suddenly becoming friends.)
The only two childhood friends ship thats I like that I can think of is Sasu//////Naru and Hector/Eliwood from FE7.
Sasu/////naru has a whole package of other things going on for them that they don’t even count as that. Yes they knew each other as kids but they don’t start to Really get to know each other until they’re teammates and then etc the rest of their story.
HecEli, I don’t remember how old they were but I don’t think they were that young? That’s not the point. Hector might have seemed Eliwood centric if you just played Eli’s route but in Hector mode he has a whole bunch of things going on. (RoyLili, is very much the thing tho, where Lilina is Roy centric most of the time. I love her but I don’t deny it.) Also rekkas shoving Eli////nini and hec/////lyn in my face so of course I’m taking an alternate route.
Edit: i just thought about games after I posted thing. Hen////do from pl miracle mask. *points at henry* it was you. Like maybe there’s nothing wrong with orbital charas but I feel like the feelings will never be balanced. The other character will never feel like they can give back anywhere as much as the orbital one. (Sorry azu////iru even though it’s not a childhood friend ship)
Anyway, you’re not gonna make me like childhood friend ships if you make one of them an orbital chara and shove it into my face. *puts kyoani in a choke hold*
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321spongebolt · 1 year ago
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If my OCs were used in "Lego Dimensions" (Part 1/"Animaniacs")
While I previously blogged about which properties I'd like to see in "Lego Dimensions", I wanted to take this opportunity to discuss my OCs from some of those franchises I previously mentioned in terms of how I would see Year 3 if "Lego Dimensions" didn't discontinue.
WIZARD WALDO
LAYOUT
For Wizard Waldo, I pictured that he would come in either a fun pack or a team pack (if you wanted to pair him with Background Singer, whom I will get to later.). Either way, Waldo would be one of those playable villains similar to The Wicked Witch of the West ("The Wizard of Oz") and Lord Voldemort ("Harry Potter"). Waldo could also have a flying monkey build similar to the Wicked Witch's, but with the fur being brown and having golden chest plates as part of Waldo's pets' armor.
ABILITIES
Flight
Dive
Target
Illumination (With his scepter)
Intelligence
Super Strength
Magic
Silver LEGO Blowup
Laser
Melt Ice
Electricity
Water Spray
Growth
Hazard Cleaner
Underwater Hazard Cleaner
Fix-It
Mind Control (From his scepter)
Magical Shield
Cursed Red LEGO Objects
Parseltongue Doors
Apparate Access
(This is all I can think of for what abilities Waldo would have)
CHARACTER/VEHICLE INTERACTIONS
Wizard Waldo with Yakko Warner
Yakko (Scared): Oh no, Waldo!
Wizard Waldo: Don't be alarmed, Yakko. I'm not gonna hurt you. Not yet, anyway.
Wizard Waldo with Wakko Warner
Wakko: I'm still not afraid of you, Waldo!
Wizard Waldo: Well, I'm afraid I don't really have a choice but to join you.
Wakko: So, you'll spare me?
Wizard Waldo: Don't push it.
Wizard Waldo with Dot Warner
Dot: Why are you here, Waldo? Aren't you gonna kidnap me?
Wizard Waldo: Not this time. I came here to form a truce.
Wizard Waldo with Background Singer
Wizard Waldo (Outraged): I can't believe this! Me working with my sworn nemesis?
Background Singer: Touché, I was just about to say the same thing about you.
(This is all I can think of for what Waldo's interactions would be)
Wizard Waldo with The Wicked Witch of the West
Wicked Witch: You lost something of yours too? Don't go copying my style, pal! On second thought, we do have a lot in common.
Wizard Waldo with Unikitty
Unikitty: If you spent more time singing, you wouldn't feel so "Wicked", witch.
Wizard Waldo (Mad): IT'S A ROBE! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS!?
BACKGROUND SINGER
LAYOUT
For my heroic "Animaniacs" OC, I wanted Background Singer to be more grounded since he doesn't want to reveal that he's a wizard to his friends. He could come in a team pack paired either with Dot Warner or Wizard Waldo, or just give him a separate fun pack. His vehicle build would be his motorcycle, which has a sidecar built-in for an additional player to ride in.
ABILITIES
Acrobat (Like Ethan Hunt and Wyldstyle, Background Singer can double jump.)
Dive
Glide (With his microphone umbrella opened)
Grapple (With his microphone grapple gun)
Rope Swings (With his microphone grapple gun)
Target (With his microphone gun)
Super Jump
Uniform Changing (Becomes rageful and rips his suit off to reveal his muscular build)
Super Strength (When his abs are revealed)
Super Strength Handles (When his abs are revealed)
CHARACTER/VEHICLE INTERACTIONS
Background Singer with Yakko Warner
Yakko: Singer! I'm so glad you came along for the ride.
Background Singer with Wakko Warner
Background Singer: So, you up for another adventure, Wakko?
Background Singer with Dot Warner
Dot: Thanks for coming with me, Singer.
Background Singer: Anything for the love of my life.
Background Singer with Aang
Background Singer (Excited): No way! You're the Avatar? I have so much to ask you.
Background Singer with Willy Wonka
(NOTE: This line is more of what Background Singer would say to the Johnny Depp Willy Wonka as opposed to the Gene Wilder version.)
Background Singer: You wanna know about my dark past?
Background Singer with Unikitty
Unikitty: Oh, you like to sing? So do I! We should sing a duet someday.
Background Singer: You know, remind me of Dot. Have you seen her?
Background Singer with Emmet
Background Singer: ♪Everything is awesome. Everything is cool, when you're Background Singer.♪
Background Singer with Master Splinter
Splinter: Anger is self-destructive. Ninniku Seishin is the ability to endure insults with patience and humility. You cannot be a true ninja until you master it.
Background Singer: I'm not a ninja, but thanks.
Background Singer with Lord Voldemort
Background Singer: Looking a bit pale, Waldo? Sorry, wrong wizard.
(This is all I can think of for what Background Singer's interactions would be)
COPYRIGHTS
Wizard Waldo and Background Singer © 321SPONGEBOLT (Me) for "Animaniacs"
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hope-of-virgo · 2 years ago
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I'm currently bedridden as a result of hormonal shit as it intersects with my autism (truly a new one; I was not expecting that starting HRT/getting my period would also make the symptoms of my autism more severe), so to pass the time I'm making an Accountability Post about my new year resolutions.
A lot of resolutions fall on their faces due to nebulous goals or ill-defined steps to completion; "go to the gym more" is a great one, but if you're not defining what "more" is, you're already off to a bad start. So the method I came up with was integrating a "traffic light report" into it. "Came up with" is a strong phrase; I lifted it wholesale from a tool we use at work. The theory is that if you separate a complex change into "stop doing, keep doing, start doing", you can more easily take steps towards completing each one.
Goals should also be fluid; I'm going to be reviewing the list every 3 months to ensure that any value drift is incorporated into the plan and that the ambitions are consistent with the amount of time I have available to achieve them. One of the things I miss about being in my 20s is that I seemed to have a lot more time on my hands, though that could very easily be mistaken for "remember how much time you had to spend on your goals when you were unemployed?".
Stop doing: Doomscrolling on my phone. This is a pretty easy one to knock off. I picked up this bad habit from my ex, and it only got worse in lockdowns because it was the only way I could keep up with people and get the news. Problem is, in the same way as videogames, it's mental health junk food for me. Feels great when I'm doing it and feels fucking awful when I stop. If I've been playing a game for several hours, I usually have a mild panic attack when I stop. Phone usage is a bit harder though, because I don't have an internet connection at my house, and because we use phones for so fucking much these days. I've currently got about 75 tabs open, most of them recipes, and I dread to look at the amount of time I actually spend on the nightmare rectangle. "Giving up Twitter" was actually easier than I thought it would be, as it's no longer particularly safe for trans people now that Phony Stark has taken over. I've noticed that my phone is a stim-tool more than it is anything particularly gratifying, so guess who's about to invest in a bunch more sensory tools? I've also noticed that knitting fills a lot of my fidget needs, and having an in-the-round project on the go in my cavern of a handbag lets me fill small gaps in time with something to do with my hands without having to commit to a full row of something worked flat. Masking my autism Truth be told, this whole "your hormones affect your autism" thing hasn't been all bad. It's made me realise how much of my life I spent masking, and having good autistic role models has made all the difference on this front. Autism acceptance has come a long way, even in the last 5 years. Transitioning socially was this big break-point of "you're about to do a thing and you're going to stop blending into the background as a result of that". I got through it by taking the dual view of "if you learn I'm trans and you suddenly don't like me, you never liked me", and "I'm trading my comfort for safety and not even getting safety. If I'm going to be in danger, I may as well be comfortable". Fortunately I live in a part of the country that isn't complete dogshit for trans acceptance. But back to the autism for a sec; wearing sunglasses and headphones when I need them makes all the difference, even when people go "what the fuck" when I do so in the supermarket. I bought a set of communication cards last year, and just having them at my disposal has been a relief because I have other options to communicate. Fiancee and I are going to be taking Auslan classes (I already use Auslan a bit) to reduce the verbal burden on me in public, both in terms of communication problems during sensory flooding and also voice dysphoria. More to the point, I have the right to exist in the world and take up space, and I'm no longer going to apologise for not being born with a neurotypical brain. They can fucking deal with it.
Making excuses not to go to the pole studio My pole studio is owned by someone I went to school with, and I had severe interpersonal problems with her sister in addition to having a punch-on with her brother at one point. I consider it water under the bridge, but they sure as fuck don't. Fact of the matter is, most of my pole problems are caused by interpersonal issues. I butted heads with another member of the studio several years ago, which can basically be boiled down to creative differences in not-for-profit accounting practices as well as not wanting to get sued for fraud by doing it her way. There's also an element of "there are huge numbers of mirrors there, and I have an eating disorder", but that's getting better with time. But because of the risk of running into some people I'm not super fond of, I've opted to steer clear as much as possible. That's gotta change, I don't do nearly as much apparatus work as I should. Likewise, given that I'm now running on estrogen, I don't have to be afraid of hitting the weights room anymore. Last year when I took my leave from work, I basically trained like a professional athlete for the entire month, and nearly died when I came back to the office and everyone was complimenting me about how broad my shoulders had gotten. Like, thanks folks, but I don't feel good about this at all. Gym will let me get the "fit girl" aesthetic that I'm going for, and I don't have to be afraid of growing a man's body anymore.
Keep doing: Cooking my own meals I'm pretty proud of the progress I've made on this front; for many years, I wasn't allowed to use the kitchen (whoo domestic violence!), and sort of forgot how to cook. I also got pretty bad anxiety about even being in the kitchen. I enjoy making my own preserves and making a bunch of food from scratch, including sourdough, cakes, cookies, etc. It's also better for me than whatever the fuck I was doing before, but that's also on eating disorder stuff. One thing I do have to work on though, is making a dessert once a week. I avoid sweet foods like the plague, and consigning an entire group of food to the "do not cook" pile because of internalised body image problems isn't particularly healthy. Also, paying a dietician who says "it's ok to have something sweet a few times a week" and then not following that advice seems a bit like I'm pouring good money after bad; don't ask for advice you're not going to listen to.
Gender affirmation Sure, having to replace an entire wardrobe of clothes is fucking expensive, but my "boy clothes" no longer fit me properly, and make me feel like shit when I wear them. My op-shopping buddy will be out of rehab in a couple of weeks, so at least I won't be running the gauntlet on my own. I'd like to learn how to do makeup a bit better as well, but that starts by actually geting out the tools and do some.
Watching new shows and listening to new music Fiancee and I have vastly different views on what constitutes good media, and it's also a reason why we'll have to have slightly different living spaces when we live together. While I wouldn't say her tastes in what's on the TV are bad, as such, I only have a limited amount of patience for Twitch and Youtube. At the same time, she doesn't like the more grounded and drama-heavy stuff that I watch. Lately when it comes to TV shows and movies, I've been watching it once and that's it (which is fine, even though it's a bit atypical for an autistic person), but I've been listening to the same 1600 songs on a loop for the past couple of years and it's getting a touch old. On a different note, I need to watch shows more readily when they're released, rather than waiting 6 months "just in case they're not renewed".
Start doing: Eating more vegetables Fresh fruit and veg has gotten really expensive over the last few months, and that's unlikely to change anytime soon. Bestie Jade and I have a joint vegetable garden at hers, but we're not likely to see fully self-sufficient output from that garden just due to the confined space. Even so, there's a "seconds" fruit shop here in town, and they actually have a pretty good range. It also helps that I'm vegetarian and don't have to cut meat to make room for it, but historically my diet has been a bit too heavy on pulses and prepackaged protein with not enough vegetables in the mix, and I definitely feel better when I have more fresh fruit and vegetables in the mix. (Breaking news: local demigirl discovers benefits of a healthy diet)
Actively reducing household waste This one's been shitting me off for years. I have a deep-seated dislike for single-use packaging, which is a sentiment a lot of people seem to be joining me in. Probably the best buy I had last year was a roll of beeswax wrap; I have no idea how much plastic wrap I saved from landfill because of it, but it would have been significant. Health food shops will usually let you bring your own containers. Fiancee and I have started transitioning towards reusable consumables services that basically give you a permanent container for your, say, dishwashing liquid, and then you send back the plastic bag that the liquid came in and they refill it. The return postage is also included in the subscription cost. Granted, this adds to the CO2 footprint a bit, but if there was already going to be fuel used to take the rubbish to the tip, I consider this a win. It'll also be much less of a concern the more that logistics transitions to renewable energy sources. Besides, going to the health food shop gives you access to a whole bunch of stuff that just straight up isn't at the supermarket. This isn't a "wellness culture" thing, the benefits of wholefoods and low-processing are nebulous and subjective at best, but the fact of the matter remains that it's the only place I could find soybeans or linseeds.
More longform journaling Most of what I did on Twitter was use it as a mindfulness tool, and while a character limit did make me get to the fucking point, it also reduced my ability to write coherently on a single topic.
Diversifying my income sources Outside of my civvie job, I run a business. It's been pretty dead for a while industry-wide, but just having my job not be a singular point of failure for income was a good thing. My professional interests have changed, which is fine, but it does need a fucking good overhaul and a new business plan.
Interior decorating My house looks like a hellscape at the moment, but due to changes in rental laws, I'll actually be able to do shit like "hanging paintings". I'm installing a whiteboard to help with my executive dysfunction, and I've been meaning to organise and decorate my kitchen. I moved house on average every year all through my 20s, and I never thought to make my space more pleasant.
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thekenikaridevblog · 6 days ago
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FREE TIMES ARE COMPLETELY AND FULLY DONE WHO CHEERED
Background edits (9/10) (JUST ONE MORE. ONE MORE AND I'LL BE FREE)
Backgrounds (0/3) (.......whoops)
New character sprites (2/2) (I realised I kinda accidentally did another one. also this one won't even be used until chapter 2.1. why am I like this)
Special character sprite bundle thing (5/8)
Pixel character sprites (0/1)
CGs (9/17) (after some more calculations n planning n stuff i think it'll actually end up being around 17 CGs total? of course there will be some with more effort put into them since they'll have stuff like changed expressions and poses, but as general scenes I think that's how many there'll be)
Dialogue (50%)
Free time events (4/4) (100%) (WOOO)
Music (1/?)
Dialogue is only halfway through even though i've made progress up to late evening. and that's because there's gonna be kind of a big event happening with tons of dialogue
originally I wanted to get a lot more ambitious with it, with special separate individual scenes depending on the character you spent the most free times with, but I decided to scale it down for my sanity (and also bc i found no way to actually implement those scenes in like. a narratively cohesive way. like why would this character do that if you were nice to them 3 days ago)
tbh, now that i've made the event have far less narrative branches, I wonder how big of a percentage in day 3's dialogue it'll actually end up taking........ still a lot because there's gonna be so much bullshit happening in the span of like an hour. but there has also been so much bullshit happening before that. i don't know anymore
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Finally I get to use this gif properly
Anyways! Like before, this progression chart post thing will be exclusively of day 3, the day before the trial, and that's where all my dev efforts will be directed towards. The full chapter 1 is more than half finished, now we just need the final home stretch and you'll finally be able to see this gay tragedy I've been cooking
Hope you guys will stick along for the ride :D
Background edits (there won't be any new backgrounds per se, but the old ones will get a lot of variations that will require more or less work, so imma keep track of that) (4/7)
Backgrounds (0/1) (edit: whoops I forgot there is a new background lol)
Tilesets (0/0)
New character sprites (0.5/1) (the number could easily go up, don't take the 1 for granted)
Special character sprite bundle thing (2/8)
Pixel character sprites (0/1)
CGs (0/17 at least) (idk the count might be off. These things tend to go way out of proportion)
Dialogue (0.5%)
Free time events (0/3) (0%)
Music (0/?)
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1kook · 4 years ago
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crunchyroll & rail
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the 10th installment of my netflix & chill series !
SUMMARY Never mind the fact you really like Sailor Moon, or that you really want to pay attention to every little detail; the moment becomes Jungkook and his big smile and his red cheeks and the tiny box he produces from within his pocket. WARNINGS smut in the forms of making out, jk nipple play, some 69 action, cunnilingus, blowjobs, brief choking, jk trying his best to listen to oc but he doesn’t rlly :/, fingering, missionary bc his eyes are pretty, unprotected fuckin raw, its romantic but when is it not… MISC fluffy and domestic <3, weekend getaway <3, the Big Question, shy jk, sailor moon supremacy, jk makes this big elaborate speech about the sun and moon, mentions of 240p YouTube quality, RATING m (18+) WC 8.7k
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NOTE (!) the smut in this chapter is relatively short ! I was more concerned with writing this monumental step in their relationship, so sorry to all the lads who come here specifically for the p0rn but today we focus on the l0ve <333 anyway nc 10!!!!! Can u fuckin believe….
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Jungkook mentions it at the dinner table one night. You’re not eating— well, you are not eating; Jungkook has been stocking up on his protein intake like a madman —but finishing up some work you had brought home. Your back aches, your eyes burn. The mere sound of his soft voice has all those feel-good endorphins shooting through your nervous system like a shot of adrenaline. “We should take a trip,” he says, fork clattering against his plate to signify the end of his feast. 
Your fingers tap across your keyboard, eyes flickering between an Excel sheet and the report you’re typing out. It takes you a moment to respond, a delayed, “huh,” that even Jungkook doesn’t find convincing.  
In the background, you’re listening to what has to be one of the worst voiceovers of the original Sailor Moon series in a language you don’t even understand. But you know the series like the back of your hand, know what exactly is happening even if you don’t understand what they’re saying, because you’ve watched it only about a million times. It’s mostly just there for background purposes anyway, some white noise to try and replicate the noisy soundtrack of your office. 
To make matters worse—complicated?—, you had been too lazy to get onto your usual pirating sites and had settled for the five minute, five part, 240p clips of Sailor Moon on YouTube (you know the ones), and Jungkook has to wait until Episode 74: Part ⅖ ends before you grace him with a proper response. “Where do you wanna go, baby?” you ask, giving your eyes a break from the data as you move to scour YouTube for Episode 74: Part 3/5. 
He’s stretching back now, arms wound up above his head. His hair— god, his hair —is an ashy color now, a faded version of its golden ancestor from a few months ago. Soon, he’s planning on going back to brown, claims he’s getting too old to be dying his hair, whatever that means. For now, you watch his inked fingers run through his scalp; he looks delectable. Maybe you’re hungrier than you initially thought. Or at least thirstier. “A cabin,” he suggests, and he offers this little half shrug that would otherwise seem normal had you not been well-versed in the art of Jungkook Body Language. His front teeth nibble at his lip, eyes laser focused on his empty plate. Even now, he still gets nervous asking you out. That thought alone makes your ego soar as high as an airplane. “Just something small.”
Usually, “something small” with Jungkook ends up being something big and, in most cases, something expensive. Which you’re totally not opposed to— you’re at the point in your relationship where you don’t even bother trying to dissuade Jungkook from showering you with gifts. It’s one of his many, many, many, many forms of loving you and, well, he knows you like the back of his hand. He rarely misses. 
Lo and behold, it is a grander affair than a simple cabin. “Well, it’s more like a resort,” he confesses, reaching across the table for your hand. Immediately, his thumb finds itself rubbing over the simple band of your promise ring. “Just wanna do something nice for you. I know you’ve been tired lately,” he adds on, voice a quiet murmur that nearly gets lost under the intensity of the pout that appears whenever he becomes even the slightest bit bashful. 
You smile, the fondness in your heart skyrocketing to impossible heights when he lifts your hand to press those pretty petal lips against your knuckles. “Well, just let me know when,” you tell Jungkook. “So I can request time off from work.” 
Episode 74: Part 3/5 starts playing after an ad, and you’d pause it for the sake of preserving this moment with Jungkook, but it’s hidden under so many tabs on your laptop that you lose it the second you leave the tab. Jungkook’s head tilts to the side, sending his ashy locks cascading beautifully. “You know that show is on Crunchyroll,” Jungkook says, seemingly moving past his bout of shyness now. “And you have the password.” 
“Do I,” you murmur, but he’s lost you once more, your true talent of typing with one hand showing itself as you return to your Excel sheet, the other still firmly squeezed in his grasp. Jungkook releases soon enough anyway, cleans up the table quickly, and disappears off into the kitchen. He sings when he washes the dishes, likes to pretend he’s a terrible singer even though you’ve told him countless times he could easily take X Factor by storm. (And you know exactly what it takes to wow those judges— you spent the entire last month psychotically watching multiple X Factor seasons from multiple different countries, nearly considered joining the damn audition yourself.) The horribly dubbed Sailor Moon is yelling now, shrieking really, and Jungkook calls from the kitchen, “don’t forget to take your contacts out, sweetheart.” 
It’s domestic and it's nerve-wracking. 
You want Jungkook, that much is a fact. Aristotle and Socrates and that other guy could debate the philosophical intricacies of the world, turn this dimension in on itself until it was a scrambled mess of emotion and thought, but the one thing they could never change, could never even question, is your love for your boyfriend. You want Jungkook badly, but more importantly, you want Jungkook forever. 
And you’re sure Jungkook probably, maybe, hopefully feels that way too. But the way you feel is… slightly concerning to say the least. For starters, you’re convinced your love for Jungkook was meant to be, and that’s saying a lot coming from you. You’re not one for cheesy, soulmate tales— that was more Jungkook’s thing —but the more you think about it, the more you become convinced that you and Jungkook were destined to meet. Like the planets aligned one year, the stars conferred, a tectonic plate somewhere in California shifted; whatever it may have been, something happened somewhere that led to the birth of this beautiful romance of yours. 
Lately, being with Jungkook has this inexplicably fiery feeling blossoming in your chest, these waves of emotion that sometimes have you fantasizing about the weirdest of scenarios with him. Like yelling at him for not taking the garbage out on time, or bumping into each other as you make dinner in the kitchen, or buying a new rug together. 
(Most drastically, the other day, you had a dream where you were pregnant and Jungkook was there and there was a house and a dog and an annoyingly friendly neighbor and this god-awful tile in the bathroom.) 
Long story short, you’ve been fantasizing about a forever with Jungkook. The concerning part is the timing; was this too early? You’re nearly halfway through your second year with Jungkook now, and you know most people date for many, many years before the mere thought of union even occurs to them. In another life, maybe you were the same, would have held off until the very last moment. But with Jungkook things just feel right (at least for you), like there wasn’t going to be anyone else after him. And you sincerely hoped there wouldn’t be. 
You slump back into your seat, eyes fluttering shut. Too many thoughts swirl around your mind, and the screech of the Sailor Moon voiceover on screen certainly doesn’t help. How you managed to spiral that far down your thoughts in the span of one 240p, five minute clip of a larger episode amazes even you. To add onto your worries, the clip abruptly ends and Episode 74: Part ⅘ is nowhere in sight, a fact that draws a frustrated moan out of the already sensitive you. 
Luckily, Jungkook eventually returns, standing closely behind you. His presence is enormous, the room suddenly overflowing with a shit ton of those feel-good endorphins all over again, except this time they reach an all-time high when he leans over and quietly shuts your laptop. “Come sleep,” he says softly, and it’s a pleasant mixture of his genuinely caring voice and that horndog purr of his that lures you into bed. And it’s that same voice that croons softly into your ear, fingers nestled between your folds until you’re orgasming yourself into a deep slumber. 
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Much to no one’s surprise, the cabin turns out to be quite the luxurious lodging; two floors of dark oak everywhere you turn, a stunning stone fireplace in the bedroom, and a truly breathtaking view of the resort’s snowy hill (read: front row seats to watch all the snowboarders and skiers wipe out in the snow). Jungkook had splurged quite the pretty penny on it, so you make a point to clap it up for him when he first opens the door to your temporary home for the weekend. 
The main bedroom is beyond words. It’s got an attached balcony (that you doubt you’ll be using in this chilly weather), and a wooden canopy bed that makes you feel like a royal (that you will certainly be using). It’s separated into two areas, the bed space and a tiny entertainment area on the other side of the room. Perhaps the best thing about the room— and the cabin itself —is the huge, smart TV mounted above said stone fireplace and the fact it allows the phone mirroring option in lieu of not having any streaming sites. And as is with every and anything to do with televisions, Jungkook is the most excited of the two of you. “Baby, look,” he beams, pointing excitedly at whatever he’s got mirrored onto the television this time. Knowing him, it’s probably another documentary. 
You had the forethought to finish your work before the trip, spent two days in the office going absolutely ham on this month’s final reports until your department head promptly sent you home to finish the rest there. You had given yourself a fright upon entering the bathroom that night, the state of your under eyes so severe, you feared it was sufficient cause for a national emergency. Similarly, Jungkook had done the same with his work, cooped himself up in his study until he was free from the shackles of capitalism for the weekend. All this to say you’ve missed him these past few days. 
But even though you’re sorely malnourished in the affection department and craving a good kiss or two, you wouldn’t dare interrupt one of Jungkook’s little nerdy, tech-induced fanboy moments. They’re cute, in their own geeky way, providing some insight to a mellower side of your boyfriend who looks on with childlike wonder; Jungkook’s eyes always get so big when he talks about nerdy stuff. You get to work hanging up the silk shirt he packed for tomorrow night’s fancy dinner at the resort, listening to some British narrator’s detailed description of the functionally extinct Northern white rhinos living under 24-hour surveillance in Kenya.  
(Jungkook’s really into nature documentaries again, had spent a few nights sniffling as he watched that one Koko the gorilla film.) 
The original plan was to head to the nearest store and whip up something small to eat at the cabin. But Jungkook is a little tired from the long drive, slumps down into the couch in front of the now lit fireplace like a limbless blob as he tunes into his documentary. His nose is a little red from the outside chill. It’s so cute. He’s so cute. You love him so much, you fear you’ll accidentally squeeze his cheeks to death. It’s a thought that occurs more times than you’d like. 
According to the pamphlet on the nightstand, the resort has its own room-service to order from. Normally you would do that, but not this time; you had gotten into a bit of a squabble with the man at the front desk after he had tried to withhold Jungkook’s reservation for arriving two minutes past your check-in time, called each other all sorts of names before he backed down and gave you your room key. So you’re still a little salty, to say the least. Instead, you settle in for some pizza in front of the huge TV, calling up the nearest place to order some of Jungkook’s and your favorites. 
You plop down beside him, instinctively cuddling closer when he wraps an arm around your shoulders. “So,” you start, flipping through the rest of the resort’s introductory pamphlet. There’s a loud roar on screen. In all honesty, you didn’t even know what Northern white rhinos sounded like until then, and you probably never would have if not for the man beside you. “What are you in the mood for tonight, sweet boy?” 
You’re not sure if it’s the fatigue or the overall relaxed vibes he’d been exuding since the moment you entered the cabin, but Jungkook is weirdly cooperative today. “Whatever you want,” he responds, head on your shoulder. He even places the remote in your hands, gives your enclosed fist a gentle tap as if he’s just handed you the secret to eternal youth. In other words, it’s a rare sight to behold. “This is your trip, pretty girl.” 
You appreciate the sentiment, but feel the need to clear the air, tucking your feet up onto the couch as you snuggle closer. “Our trip,” you clarify, and snatch the remote anyway before he changes his mind. 
Jungkook releases a quiet huff of laughter, head rolling back against the couch cushions to display his thick, juicy neck that definitely doesn’t awaken any vampiric tendencies in you. “We can even watch some anime if you want,” he murmurs, casually throwing an arm around your shoulders in a way that would have made any teenage girl in the early 2000s squeal with excitement. It’s one of those barely there touches, but the way he holds you makes you feel so safe and warm and loved. So loved and in love. “The ones on Crunchyroll, though.”
For the sake of preserving these good vibes (and your ears [and Jungkook’s sanity]), you navigate to the Crunchyroll app on your phone, quickly finding your latest obsession and mirroring it onto the big television before Jungkook can react. “Sailor Moon?” he asks with a tone that implies a feigned interest, mostly out of respect for you; he’s, sadly, still not the big dorky anime fan you had hoped to convert him into. 
“In the name of the moon, I’ll punish you,” you recite dutifully, snatching up the throw blanket on the end of the couch. It’s barely big enough to cover the both of you, has Jungkook’s outstretched legs and your booty subject to the chilly air. Who cares, Jungkook is a furnace anyway. 
He snorts. “Punish me,” he mumbles, as if he doesn’t believe it. His snarky comment wins him a playful pinch against his doughy cheek, not that he particularly defends himself against it anyway, eyes fluttering shut as you tug at the pale skin. 
“Don’t fuck with the moon, Jungkook,” you warn him, snuggling closely against his side as your favorite opening song begins filtering through the speakers of the television before you. It’s infinitely better than the 240p YouTube clips you had subjected yourself to the entire last week, the graphics scarily clear. 
“Right, of course,” Jungkook says, but a hint of amusement seems to curl around the sound anyway. Nevertheless, he lets it go, cuddles into your side as you pour your full focus into watching yet another group of ragtag teenagers with supernatural abilities kick some ass. 
You can tell Jungkook isn’t really into it, and you’re torn between just snuggling him into a well deserved nap or taping his eyelids open so he can become a fan of this show with you. 
The loving, caring, adoring side of you says Jungkook deserves the entire world and more (the more in question preferably being a fluffy blanket and a nap). He worked hard this week, just like you, and on top of that he was the one who planned this entire weekend getaway for the two of you to enjoy. You want him to rest up.
The obnoxiously in love girlfriend-slash-best friend in you says Jungkook is sorely missing out on one of the greatest shows on planet Earth and that naps are for the weak. 
Your jumbled thoughts are interrupted by a loud sound on the television, a yelp from Ms. Sailor Moon herself that has you jolting up in surprise. Jungkook welcomes you deeper into his embrace, chuckles at your little fright. “Scared?” he teases in that low voice that makes you feel like you’re going crazy, really. So crazy and irrational, and the only thing that stops you from bombarding him with an unexpected outpouring of love is that hard and sharp thing that pokes your side when you get too close to him. It’s not Jungkook, sadly, but something in the front pocket of his hoodie instead. 
And for some reason, part of your brain is stuck all of a sudden, rewinding the last two and a half years like a broken cassette tape that had the tape reel hastily stuffed back inside by a toddler. It’s choppy to say the least, and it certainly doesn’t help when Jungkook calls your name softly, tenderly. “__,” he murmurs. It’s a little weird; it’s not often he says your name, mostly referring to you with one of the many pet names from that part of his vocabulary that focuses exclusively on terms of endearment. Your heart skips a beat. 
Now, if anyone were to ask, it’s approximately around this time that you begin to spiral. The pink curve of his bottom lip is just too close, the mole on his nose too prominent. Paired with the obnoxious tittering of Usagi on screen, you can feel your thoughts begin to overlap, bumping into each other within the realm of your brain until all that comes out are the messiest of messy thoughts. 
They go like this: 
Most episodes of any anime run for approximately thirty minutes. Take out the commercial breaks, the opening and ending credits, and it becomes something closer to twenty. Twenty minutes per episode, filled with plot and gags and tears and whatever else necessary to make you feel something, anything really. 
“What’s in your pocket?” you ask tentatively. 
In contrast, it takes approximately two seconds for Jungkook’s lips to quirk up— first the right side, always the right side —and his eyes to crinkle. Two seconds for him to smile, a sweet expression that reminds you of Netflix and college and quiet laughter and tattoos and silly YouTube videos and cookies and cell phones and job applications and blond hair; two seconds to make you feel everything all at once. 
“There’s nothing,” he says, but his cheeks are pink, and it’s not from the cold anymore. His smile is so big it makes your own cheeks ache just looking at it. You can’t even hear the television anymore. Never mind the fact you really like Sailor Moon, or that you really want to pay attention to every little detail; the moment becomes Jungkook and his big smile and his red cheeks and the tiny box he produces from within his pocket. “It was supposed to be for tomorrow,” he admits, unwrapping his arm from around you. 
It’s a little funny, somehow, because his hands are covered in ink, in tiny doodles and intricate pieces of swirls and words that ooze this aura of strength and toughness. But they tremble when he opens it, as unsteady as a wispy dandelion on a windy day, fumbling with the box. And when you look closely, he’s been biting at the skin along his thumb again, that nervous habit you’ve been trying forever to help him overcome. 
Someone is saying something on screen, something important to the plot. The volume is loud, but not as loud as your heart. Not as loud as Jungkook’s quiet murmur when he speaks again. “Will you marry me?” he asks softly, looks at you with flushed cheeks and big eyes and his heart on his sleeve. 
The answer has always been the same, hasn’t changed since the first time he planted the seed in your mind. Still, it catches in your throat, nearly loses out to a surprised and emotional sob that you barely manage to bite down. You had just been speaking, had just been ready to deliver a whole spiel on the importance of him watching Sailor Moon with you. But when you try now, it’s raspy and dry, as if you haven’t used your voice in years. “I— yes,” you exhale, surprised by the lonely tear that trails down your cheek. You go to wipe it away, but Jungkook beats you with a gentle hand cupping your cheek. 
His smile is wobbly, patches of red blossoming across his face that eventually consume his entire appearance as he leans his forehead against yours. Only then do you realize he’s crying, and you laugh out of reflex. “You’re crying,” you say, and Jungkook snorts. 
“You cried first,” he sniffles, smiling. “You made me cry.” 
He looks like a wreck, but, like, a hot wreck. An engaged, hot wreck who’s eyes flicker back to the TV to remind you to pause your anime, always so considerate. You do, hastily smashing buttons on the remote before remembering it’s controlled by your phone, hands flying back and forth as your nerves actively work to retire themselves after Jungkook’s proposal. “Easy there,” he soothes, eventually catching your hand in his, drawing it up for a kiss against your knuckles. 
The ring fits perfectly, snuggly. Vaguely, a memory drifts through your thoughts of Jungkook and Doyeon on a rampant mission to reorganize your jewelry box a few months ago, but it disappears as quickly as it came. You’re taken by the ring, a simple band with a pretty diamond on top. It’s a good mixture of you and him; flashy yet mild. 
“You love me,” you marvel, a revelation you’ve had the honor of experiencing time and time again with Jungkook. Still, it never fails to render you speechless. He hums. 
“I do,” he says, taking your hand in his. “It’s the easiest thing for me. Like breathing, or existing. I think I was made to love you.” And normally, you’d be the first one to correct him. Jungkook was made for so much more, a fact he’s proven time and time again with his abilities and the sheer size of his heart. He was your golden boy, could do anything he set his mind to. Always amazing you, always making you fall in love all over again. 
But now, with the weight of his words sitting heavy in the air, you find yourself incapable of negating the fact, instead sniffling at the meaning. 
Pleased with your silence, Jungkook places another chaste kiss against your ring. “I love you, __,” he confesses, voice nearly a whisper. Your entire body feels as if it is doused in gasoline, lit aflame over and over again. Your heart threatens your rib cage, pounds away with the strength of a world renowned boxer. Jungkook’s hands curl around your wrists carefully. “I used to think we were like the moon and the sun,” he admits, “that you were my sun and I was your moon. In love but always separated by those thin veils of the sunrise and the sunset.” He pauses, nuzzling sweetly against your palm once more before gently guiding them down between the two of you. “But that really sucks— saying goodbye to you every night? I hate that, __. I hate watching you leave, I hate watching you run off in the mornings or halfway through the day, having to drive back and forth from your place to mine. I hate having to be away from you when all I wanna do is hold you. I— I want to be by your side,” he rambles, eyes nervously meeting yours. They’re still glassy, dark lashes framing his chocolate irises wonderfully. “Forever.” 
Your heartbeat stutters, the simple word looping itself in your mind like that night in his dining room all over again, all the fantasies of having a forever with Jungkook bubbling to the surface. Jungkook pushes on. “You are my sun,” he says softly, mostly to himself. “But… I don’t wanna be the moon anymore. Being the moon means, eventually, I’ll have to say goodbye. In the night or in the morning, it always comes to an end. And I don't want there to be an end with you,” he insists, clutching your hand tightly. “I wanna be another star, the closest one to you. The one who gets to be with you forever. I wanna be by you and shine with you and—“
“Explode into a gazillion little fragments of cosmic dust with me,” you offer, and Jungkook nods along eagerly, too amped up on his speech to bother scolding you for your playful comment. 
“Yes, I want to— to—“ The words catch in his throat. So much emotion from the man you once thought was the dictionary definition of calm and collected. “To—“ 
“Marry me,” you fill in, and Jungkook practically blows a fuse from how emotionally fired up he’s become, exclaiming a resolute, “yes!” that leaves you stupidly grinning back at him. 
His outburst leaves him with flushed cheeks. “I do,” he reiterates in a softer tone, averting his gaze from you as if embarrassed by his cheesy outpouring of emotion. Usually, it’s the other way around; you make all the corny declarations of love and Jungkook laughs along suavely. It feels nice to have the tables turned. 
There’s so much to say, but the words all fade away when Jungkook shyly looks at you again. You settle on tackling him back onto the couch cushions, taking his surprised little yelp in stride as you suffocate him in your embrace. “Save those words for the big day, superstar,” you giggle, peppering his red face with tiny kisses that make him scrunch up cutely. “I can’t wait to blow up into one huge supernova with you.” 
Beneath you, Jungkook groans. “I’m sorry,” he huffs, voice muffled against your shoulder. Begrudgingly, his arms come up to envelope you, pulling you closer until the blanket scrunches up uncomfortably between you two. “That must’ve sounded so lame.” 
Leaning back so you’re not completely squishing him, you carefully push his silvery hair away from his forehead. “Don’t be,” you assure him, placing one chaste peck against his pouty lips. “I thought it was cute. I didn’t know you were into astrology.” 
A sigh. “Astronomy,” he corrects, “astrology has to do with zodiac signs and placements.” 
You run your thumbs over his cheeks, collecting any of the drying tears that paint his face. “Oh, like how you’re a Virgo and I’m a“— 
The TV remote you had lost somewhere along the way is suddenly rematerialized beneath your knee, sends the speakers blaring to life with a deafening screech that has both you and Jungkook leaping up like two frightened cats. “You always do this,” he laughs, that loud boyish sound that makes you feel like you’re sitting on a cloud. He watches you with a gentle smile as you hurriedly shut off the television, the remote haphazardly tossed somewhere behind you afterwards. You return to his embrace, wrap your arms around his waist and snuggle into his warmth. His heart thumps a steady rhythm beneath your ear. 
“You’re gonna be stuck with me forever,” you warn him, clutching at the fabric of his shirt like he’ll suddenly disintegrate before your eyes.
Above you, Jungkook hums, placing a kiss against the crown of your head. “I look forward to it,” he responds, pulling you impossibly closer, until you can feel the wrinkles in his shirt imprinting themselves against your cheek. He’s back to being that suave bastard again, and you find yourself wishing you had milked those big crocodile tears out of him for just a little bit longer. 
Fingers gently press against the muscles in your nape, push themselves in deeply until you can feel all the tension seeping out, turning you into a limbless blob over Jungkook. “Jeez,” you sigh, eyes fluttering shut. “And you wanted to wait until tomorrow.”
He huffs out a laugh. “I just thought you’d rather get engaged at a fancy restaurant with a pretty dress,” he defends, and you can hear the grin on his face. “For the photos.”
“Fair point,” you concede, eventually pushing yourself up so you’re not entirely squishing your boyfriend beneath you. Jungkook is already looking at you when you lift your head, has got this funny double-chin from this angle that makes his normally sharp jawline disappear. You find yourself tapping a finger against his chin, on the chocolate chip mole that hides itself beneath his plump bottom lip. “If anything, just propose to me again tomorrow at the restaurant.”
It wins you an eye-roll. “I’m not gonna propose to you again tomorrow,” he laughs, doesn’t even push you away when you become annoying and start tapping your fingers against all his beauty marks like you’re playing Whack-a-Mole. 
“Booo,” you frown, but let it go soon enough, foregoing your little game to press your lips against his. “Then I better make this a night to remember,” you murmur, tilting your head to the side.
Your hands dip into his luscious locks, fingernails tracing thin lines along his scalp that are certain to send tingles down his spine. As predicted, Jungkook releases a quiet groan soon after, a sound that’s muffled against your own lips. He’s pliant tonight, but not in a way that would elude fatigue. Pliant in a way that suggests he wants you to take the reins tonight, exhaling softly against you as he parts his lips. 
“Let me take care of you,” you hum, the hand that had been mindlessly hovering along his cheek drifting down to caress the side of his neck. Jungkook nods, his irises swimming in lust. You smile at his silent compliance, give his throat a light squeeze that makes his breathing hitch in surprise. 
He’s always at his prettiest when he’s beneath you like this, limbs moving in slow motion as you guide him along. You can already feel the beginnings of his arousal stirring beneath the front of his sweats, his cock slowly making its presence known against your thigh. You press your lips against his once more, making sure to make it rougher than the first kiss. Your tongue is met with little resistance, slips past his lips and dips into the hot cave of his mouth where Jungkook releases another trembling breath. 
Two hands come up behind you, trail themselves over your back and down to your ass, where he gives the two globes a tight squeeze. It draws a whimper out of you, one that Jungkook greedily swallows up. His tongue rubs up along yours, the wet muscle daringly pushing back against yours. His rebelliousness is only quelled with another press of your fingertips around his throat.
“Slow down,” you tell him. The first roll of your hips against him is slow, cruel in that you cut the motion short just as Jungkook begins to push back. A bratty huff escapes him, swollen pink lips pushing out into that endearing pout you love so much. It makes you grin, releasing the grip around his throat to carefully brush a stray strand of hair away from his eyes. 
It’s a gesture that works to soften Jungkook as well, the petulant look on his face melting away as you trail your pointer finger along his cheekbone. It’s replaced with a more tender one, dark lashes blinking up at you slowly. “Open,” you command upon reaching his mouth, finger pressing down against his pink lower lip. Jungkook obeys, opening his mouth until you can see his pink tongue and the dark abyss that leads down his throat. Your finger pushes itself in, and Jungkook certainly doesn’t try to resist. His lips suction around the digit fairly quickly, tight enough to keep you there but loose enough for you to slowly draw your finger in and out, each short plunge pressing down against his tongue. 
It’s a rather short affair, one that comes to an end when he accidentally bucks up against you, pressing his hardened member against your core. You retract your finger.  “Can you,” he tries, but his cheeks are stained red and he refuses to meet your gaze. “Just…” 
You intercept him with a chaste peck, maneuvering your legs until your knees are firmly pressed into the couch cushions beneath him, his thin waist trapped in between. When you sit up, you feel drunk on power and the way Jungkook looks up at you certainly doesn’t help. “Can I sit on your face?” 
He chokes. “I— sure, please,” he blurts out. His gaze follows you as you slip off of him, quickly discarding your pants and top on the floor. One pat against his thigh has him hurrying to shimmy out of his clothes, his sweatpants caught around his ankles. 
“You’re excited,” you laugh, stripping him of his bottoms when the frustration takes him over. 
Jungkook scoffs. “Well, yeah,” he mumbles, tugging his shirt off with one smooth motion. The ink around his bicep is as dark as ever, contrasts wonderfully against his warm face. “My fiancée is gonna sit on my face.”
The title makes you preen, quickly finding your place on his lap once more. With your clothing out of the way, Jungkook really does become a furnace. Every inch of his body is hot to the touch, soft too. “Fiancée,” you giggle, hands on his chest. They slide down, fingers playfully nudging his brown nipples. Jungkook flinches at the touch. “Gonna sit on my fiancé’s face,” you parrot back, delicately pinching one nipple between your fingers. A moan spills from his lips, his cock pushing against your thigh once more.
It’s the reminder you need, pushing back dutifully against him as you continue to toy with his chest. He’d look pretty with piercings, you find yourself thinking, watching on in fascination at the way his pert nipples stand at attention. Beneath you, Jungkook begins to grow desperate, his hands finding their place on your waist to encourage you to grind down against him once more. 
Jungkook swears up and down that he’s not particularly sensitive about having his nipples touched. But when you’ve got him like this, sinfully laid out before you, you can easily confirm that his claims are nothing but lies. He loves having his nipples touched, squirms beneath you impatiently with each playful tug and twist you bestow upon them. 
You duck down, pressing a kiss against his pectoral, just beside his nipple, and Jungkook’s entire body shivers. A few careful drags of your tongue against his warm skin only serve to string him along further, the prettiest whimper pulling itself from his lips when you finally envelope one of them in your mouth. “Wait,” he gasps, clawing at your clothing as if he both wants to push you off and push you closer. You grin, brandishing one mean nip at the sensitive nub. 
Eventually, your incessant need to play with Jungkook’s chest is fulfilled. “Lay back,” you instruct, watching as he shuffles down flat on the cushions, silver hair tumbling away from his eyes. He’s so red, eyes hazy. Your panties are discarded, joining the ever growing pile of clothes on the floor. 
Once upon a time, the idea of sitting on Jungkook’s face had terrified you, filled you with nightmares of crushing his windpipe or breaking his nose. For the most part, they’re pretty unrealistic fears, ones that can be easily shut down after one careful Google search on safe sexual practices. These days, it’s all too easy; in the mornings, especially, it’s become natural for him to guide you on top carefully, holding your hand as you whimper and sob over his face. 
In the current moment, you find yourself stroking a hand down the side of his face, completely enamored with the huge puppy eyes he levels your way. Jungkook likes having your pussy in his face just as much as you do, loves making you feel good in any way he knows how. But there’s a separate matter at hand, one that stands at attention beneath his black boxers and successfully wins your attention. 
Truthfully, there is no dilemma to ponder over; you want both to ride Jungkook’s face and suck him off. The solution?
“We’ve never done this before,” Jungkook mumbles in amazement, his voice slightly muffled from his position beneath you and slightly behind you. Still, his arms dutifully wrap around your thighs, guiding you closer to his mouth where his hot breath fans against your glistening folds. You rock back willingly, hands preoccupied with pushing his boxers down and away from his engorged cock. 
“Really?” you ask, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with the cock before you and the tongue that gently laps at your folds. Jungkook makes a sound, something between a hum and whimper, his mouth slowly getting to work against your folds. “M- Maybe,” you stutter, all thought processes coming to a halt as you carefully take him in your hand. 
His cock is hard and long, his tip an angry shade that weeps with precum. From this angle, you get to watch Jungkook’s huge thighs twitch at the sensation, the tattoo that marks up one of them doing little to hide the fact. Your hand squeezes him, watches in awe as another fat droplet oozes out of his tip. A moan tears itself from his throat, and it’s so goddamn sexy it nearly drives you insane. 
It’s one particularly long lap of his tongue over your clit that sends you into action, back arching at the tingles that shoot down your spine. Wasting no more time, you guide Jungkook’s cock into your mouth, let your own tongue shower his mushroom tip in kitten licks that have him bucking upwards. He releases your clit with a lewd pop, hot breath fanning across your lips. “Fuck,” he gasps, voice harsh. 
Admittedly, it’s more difficult than you thought it would be. 
You’re not one to be easily overwhelmed (says you), but with Jungkook’s twitching cock in your mouth and his teasing tongue dipping into your entrance, it becomes hard to juggle your attention between the two. Even Jungkook, who is quite frankly the master of cunnilingus, seems torn between the two, his breathing shallow and quick against your folds. 
With each slow descent around his cock, he shudders, thigh muscles tightening in anticipation. It causes a lull in the pace of his tongue, the generous kisses and licks against your folds subject to a somewhat uneven pace that, surprisingly, leaves you more on edge than you’d ever expected it to; right when you think he’s about to suck your clit into his mouth, you’re met with a harsh exhale instead, one that makes your lips flutter. 
You’re both disappointed in yourselves for never having tried this mind-blowing position before, and equal parts understanding as to why you haven’t tried this position before— it’s a lot. His cock is halfway down your throat when it twitches, sends a gush of precum into your mouth that has your eyes rolling backwards, a whine slipping out around him. Jungkook appreciates the vibrations, letting it fuel him as he plunges his tongue into your hole. It’s a two way street, you realize, one that is constantly experiencing traffic. 
“Baby,” you gasp, pulling off of his cock with a slick sound, hypnotized by the trail of saliva that connects your lips to his tip. Jungkook’s tongue prods along your slit, makes your eyesight go blurry when the tip of his nose brushes along you as well. The idea of his cute nose buried deep someplace it shouldn’t be has you grinding down on him. “We can— we should stop,” you stutter, your trembling hand reaching forward to grasp the base of his cock. 
He’s slick with your saliva and his precum, and your hand makes a squelching sound upon contact. It must feel good, because Jungkook moans against your folds, his thighs unconsciously falling farther apart as you slowly jerk him off. You think you might’ve heard your name slip from his lips, but your mind is fuzzy, lost in your lust as Jungkook licks a sinful line from your hole to your clit, curling his tongue at the end. “J- Jungkook,” you cry, flinching away because it’s become too much, your toes curling as the beginnings of an orgasm threaten you. 
Before that can happen, he relents, leaning back with a heavy exhale, his hands loosening their grip against your ass and plopping back down against the cushions. “Fuck,” he pants, his cock twitching in your hold. A lonely droplet of precum trails down the side, your knuckles coated in the glossy substance. Beneath you, Jungkook rubs one soothing palm against your hip. 
You slink off before he can get any funny ideas, maneuver yourself around until you’re kneeling between his parted thighs, his fat cock standing at attention between the two of you. From here, he looks ravenous, and you begin to question who exactly is taking care of who. Jungkook looks like he’s a second away from pinning you down and swallowing you whole, a thought that makes your toes curl. 
It’s with a cautiously horny hand that you reach for his cock again, holding him with both hands. Jungkook growls, head lolling backwards until all you can see is his neck and his chin, thick veins protruding along his skin. Jungkook doesn’t waste a moment longer. “C’mere,” he purrs, hauling you up until you’re clumsily leaning over him, palms framing his face. A lone finger runs down your spine, its faint touch making you arch forward. “Sorry,” he says, securing an arm around your waist. “I know you wanted to take care of me, but…”
You roll your eyes, submitting yourself to his clutches as he masterfully rolls the two of you over. The couch is soft beneath your back, and Jungkook looks pretty from above too. “You just can’t sit still, can you?” you murmur playfully. 
Jungkook’s forearms find their place beneath your thighs, the fold of the back of your knee perfectly slotted against his warm skin as he shuffles closer. “Maybe another time,” he laughs along sheepishly, his hard cock gliding over your slit, teasing your clit. You gulp, eyes scanning over his lean build as if it’s the first time. “Sorry,” he repeats, but he’s got this stupidly dopey grin on his face as he glances down at your pussy; he’s insane, he’s got to be, what man makes heart eyes at a pussy?
Your man, apparently. Grasping the base of his cock, Jungkook takes care to drag it along your folds collecting your wetness along his length, a deep shudder wracking his body through it all. “I knew you would do this to me,” he mutters, so low you nearly miss it under the thundering sound of your heartbeat.
“Huh,” you mumble, and you’d like to defend yourself and say you weren’t as cock-crazy as Jungkook was coochie-crazy, but that would be a lie. You’re staring at his cock as if it holds the secrets to the universe right now.
Jungkook juts his head to the side, a motion similar to the one he does when he’s trying to crack his neck. His tongue prods along his cheek, eyes laser-focused on the point where your two bodies meet. “From the moment you walked into my house,” he grunts mindlessly, finally lining himself up with your entrance. He chances a glance up, meets your gaze with a patient look, “all good?”
“All good,” you hurriedly reply, fingers finding their place against his broad shoulders. With the way he had prepared you earlier, mouthed along your clit and your folds until you were pleasantly aroused, the glide now is too easy. Tight, but easy, has the two of you releasing twin moans that echo off the wooden walls of the cabin. 
Jungkook’s forehead is covered in a thin veil of sweat, one that glistens when the evening sunset pours in through the balcony doors, highlighting him in a golden light that makes you dizzy. The angry tip of his cock sinks into your walls, Jungkook’s ashy strands sticking to his forehead and his cheeks. For some reason, you find yourself reminiscing on the aforementioned moment Jungkook had spoken of. Of the soft sweater he’d worn that day and the dinner he had made, the blond tips on his chestnut hair and the way he’d clung onto every word you’d said. 
It makes you tear up, and, after laughing at Jungkook early for crying, you quickly turn your face away. 
Jungkook isn’t dumb. “What now,” he chuckles, though his breathing is labored, every inch of his cock that penetrates you further bringing with it another rush of adrenaline. At the hilt, you’re embarrassed to say there’s multiple tears streaming down your face, so you can’t even play it off as you usually do. “Crybaby,” Jungkook teases, but his voice is so soft and tender you don’t know what to do with yourself. 
“Just move,” you bite out, shamefully covering your face with your hands. Jungkook leans over you, the movement pushing his dick deeper inside of you, your walls clenching around him. A kiss is placed over your knuckles, just shy of your engagement ring. Your chest lurches with a silent sob. “Jungkook,” you whimper, sinking further into the cushion, “please, just—“
“I got it,” he assures you, placing one final peck against your handmade (literally) shield. And then, so quietly you almost miss it, he makes sure to whisper, “love you,” before unsheathing himself. 
You shudder, your heart feeling so full, you fear it’ll burst. You both love and hate when he treats you like this, like an ice sculpture in the scorching heat that has him doing everything he can to keep you solid. His touch is soft, the roll of his hips too slow for your liking. You feel so small and vulnerable— too pampered. “Harder,” you beg, your voice an airy whine that has Jungkook chuckling above you. 
He lives to please you, hiking your leg over his shoulder with a renewed vigor. His hands find themselves on your waist, forcefully pinning you down against the couch cushions as he sets upon fulfilling your latest request. The next series of thrusts are jerky, have you jostling in his grip as Jungkook pounds into you with an all new mindset. “Lemme see you,” he huffs, thumbs painfully digging into your skin. You tremble in his arms, heart swayed by the quiet plea in his voice. “Let me see your face, pretty girl.”
Reluctantly, you do, brandishing your tear-stricken face his way. Jungkook smiles, that stupidly handsome smile, his hips snapping into you roughly. “Fuck,” he moans, the expression never leaving his face, even when run your nails over his chest harshly. “You’re so pretty.”
You ignore him for the sake of your already weakened mental state, focusing instead on the brutal force of his hips, the way his cock stretches your walls out. Each push has you seeing stars, thighs quivering from the sensations that shoot up your spine and down your toes. “Oh,” you mewl, hands gripping his biceps as you lose yourself to him. Your eyes roll back, vision a mess of colors and nothingness all at once. 
“Is this hard enough?” Jungkook husks out, and he sounds so close. His proximity is confirmed when his mouth slots against yours, his harsh breath mingling with your own as he continues to frantically buck into your inviting heat, each new round of thrusts leaving you weaker and weaker than before. “God,” Jungkook cries, the sound nearly lost beneath your own moans and whimpers. “Gonna k- keep you forever,” he spits, tongue slipping into your mouth.
He’s messier than usual, moves with unrefined movements unlike his normal self. You don’t care, you love him all the same. His sloppy kisses turn into desperate ones, matching the pace of his hips. “Kook,” you sob, arms wrapping themselves around his neck, pulling him close until his thrusts are reduced to a shallower depth. 
“I’ve got you,” he croons, lips against your jawline. His cock presses in and you swear you feel it alongside every inch of your walls, a warmth blossoming in your stomach. He’s layering messy kisses down your face now, lips sucking dark marks any chance he gets. 
True to his word, Jungkook indeed has you. His cock pistons in and out at an astonishing pace, each surge into your folds making you dizzy over and over again. It’s a feeling you fear you’ll never grow tired of, in fact, it’s a feeling you fear you’ll begin to crave even more in the future. The good thing is, that future will extend into forever. 
You yank him towards you, swallow his low laughter with your lips. Jungkook doesn’t complain, lowering himself until he’s practically squishing you beneath his beefy body, cock ramming in and out despite all that. His tongue glides along yours, makes it his mission to muffle each of your cries. 
It doesn’t take long for you to be fulfilled. Given the fact you had sucked him off like a lollipop whilst having him eat you out, you’re not entirely surprised. That and the emotions of tonight have you melting into him sooner than you’d like, his name falling from your lips as your thighs clamp down around his waist. Jungkook takes it in stride, slows the maddening pace of his hips to cradle you in his arms. You’re like jelly, practically flop back into the cushion when he slips an arm beneath you. “You’re so good for me,” Jungkook praises, lavishing your throat in tiny pecks as his orgasm circles around. “My pretty girl.”
“Love you,” you sigh, and your body feels numb, his intrusion but a small touch now that he’s tired you out once more, your walls tender and raw. Jungkook presses a smile against your throat and, moments later, releases inside of you. 
Even minutes after the deed, the feeling refuses to return to your legs. He didn’t go that hard— well, you’re not entirely sure. The memories always become blurry toward the end of your escapades. Everything rushes back in waves, and for some reason, your first thought is, “where’s Sailor Moon?”
Your post-rump conversations have never been the most coherent, usually filled with pretty weird thoughts and ideas. Still, more grand things have happened tonight for you to be worried about a magical anime girl. Jungkook draws himself out of your core with a huff of laughter. “On the TV,” he answers, unfazed by the oddity of your question. 
That’s how you know he’s a keeper.
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It takes a while, but eventually Jungkook responds. “Avocado toast,” he says, though his answer is dripping with uncertainty. He’s naked as the day he was born, snuggled up beside you in bed. He’s propped up on one arm, looking down at you over the ample swell of his manly bosom. It takes everything in you to keep your hands off his chest. 
“Correct,” you respond, “and what movie did we watch?”
Without missing a beat, “Transformers, the first one.”
You nod, glancing at the ceiling as you rack your brain for any other trivia questions to ask your fiancé. “The title of the playlist you made?”
A flush paints his cheeks. “Date Night playlist,” he answers through a pout, reprimanding you for bringing up such a memory with a flick to your forehead. You wince. “I was young and silly,” he defends.
You beam, cuddling into his side until he’s forced to lay back down. “Yeah, yeah,” you tease. “We’re only gonna get older from here,” you lament. You’d say it’s difficult to picture him with a gray head of hair, but his current silvery locks don’t leave much room for your imagination.
Jungkook pulls you close. A beat of silence passes, and then, “so who are we telling first?”
Definitely Namjoon.
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Copyright © 2021, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.
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ackermans-freedom-inc · 3 years ago
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sorry if this is lame buttt a puzzle date with armin? or maybe just a bunch of different puzzle stuff Like word search, or crosswords and stuff maybe we get a little competitive and what not Sorry if this is too lame tho yikes
Y'ALL. *toots horn* I just wanna say that I have a special guest who VERY VERY kindly wrote this prompt! I hope the original requester doesn't mind! You are in for a TREAT bc @anlian-aishang is a genius with a very wrinkly brain. I on the other hand, am HORRIBLE at puzzles bc I am too impatient @@ so I apologize for failing you, dear anon who requested this date. BUT WTHOUT FURTHER ADO. Please enjoy.
tags: Armin x reader, fluff, food mention, modern AU!
Written by @anlian-aishang <3
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Puzzle my Heart
Two busy students you both were. Study jams this night. Extracurriculars that night. Lives that were overtaken by school - and you supposed it made perfect sense - that college was where you found each other. Midterms brought you both to the library, to that same fated table where only textbooks separated you. Ever since then, as your grades thrived, your relationship did as well. A campus made the background to your love story.
But it was now winter break. And suddenly, the grind had screeched to a halt - not in your relationship, but in activity. Staying in pajamas all day, no need to leave the house, television droning on until nightfall when you would go to bed and do it all again. At first, the reprieve was nice, but after this many days - it was almost boring?
Armin strove to change that today. Leather knapsack slung over his shoulder, box of chocolates in one hand, knocking on your door with the other. Jolted up from your nap, you ran to the door, flannel pants ruffled with your jog, slippers sifting on the wooden floor.
“A-Armin!?” You stammered, “You - You...? What are you doing here?”
At your frenzy, he chuckled. “Nice to see you too.” Stepping into your place, knocking his shoes of snow, his gaze kindred, “Sorry for showing up unannounced, I just realized, it’s been far too long since we’ve had a date.”
“B-But, you were over yesterday?” We watched reruns and ordered delivery, didn’t we? Err… Was that yesterday?
“Yeah, well…” Armin brought his hand to his nape and displayed a bashful grin, “I was thinking about it, and I think that - to qualify as a date - I am required to change out of my sweats and run a comb through my hair at least.”
A hand on your hip, brows knit, you teased, “And you didn’t think to text me?”
Armin gave a mild, knowing smile, “There was no need.”
Lips parted but speechless. Hands curled to your old wrinkled t-shirt and looked to him, embarrassed, Does that mean I need to change out of my sweats and run a comb through my hair?
Blue eyes glimmered. Like I said, “No need.”
You did anyways.
And it was only your apartment, only a random Sunday, but he had been right: for the first time in a long time, you were on a date again. Chocolates and crosswords. Record player and word searches. Not only doing your best to make a good time, but an added level of competition as you also aimed to beat the other. Using your minds as actively as you had for all the previous semesters you spent together.
Just like your brain felt that familiar feeling, you realized your heart did too. Golden locks shimmering in the sun. Slender fingers and a particular hold of his pencil. Eyes narrowed and attention deliberate on the puzzles in front of him, every so often, they would sneak a peek at you.
And just like you, he felt his heart aflutter, its pace racing again. The rapid descent of your gaze down the page, curiosity brimming. The love of learning. The thrill of studying a page. He felt it within - how he had really found someone who saw the world the way he did. Finally, there was someone that enjoyed his company as much as he did theirs. At last, found someone who could make the hours pass like minutes.
“We should do this again!” You snapped your gaze to him, enthusiasm sparkling in your eyes, “Armin! What do you think? Tomorrow?”
Armin nodded, gleaming, Today and tomorrow and forever after that.
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youkaigakkou-tl · 2 years ago
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The Renren arc post
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Just a little compilation of the details in chapter 67 to 77, this almost certainly isn’t even all of them
warning: very long. a lot of images
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(link) first of all, not renren arc proper, but the hoodie haruaki was wearing in volume 10 was hatanaka’s from when he was a student
like i mentioned in the timeline post, this whole arc happens over 1 day. wack
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(Chapter 68) ebisu-sensei, if i recall, sir, werent you spying on your mii-kun? we still havent gotten to that plot point yet like at all
Seating Arrangement
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(chapter 69, nice) a month before this chapter was released, the author tweeted the seating arrangement for the class
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(made in google sheets by me, link to the tweet)
Anemone
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(chapter 69) the flowers in the background here are anemones, anemone coronaria.
they mean a couple things, but the gist of it is like “love”, “truth”, “suffering”, the works
Birthday
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(chapter 69) utagawa’s birthday is april 14th. this is more of a headcanon than anything, but there’s a chance its the date she died.
she specifically points out it’s april here, and although the next scene where rensuke’s mask comes off probably doesn’t happen on the same day, i’m pretty sure it doesn’t happen too long after this
it’s definitely not the day takahashi found her as a gashadokuro, since that happens 2 months after she died
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(chapter 74) of course, there’s a chance its just her birthday as a human. rensuke doesn’t mention if theres any reason he’s giving her the ring, but it might be for a birthday present
by the way, and this is relevant, “utagawa kuniko” is based off utagawa kuniyoshi, a woodblock print maker and painter, who made the depiction of the gashadokuro. he died on april 14.
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305
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this is super nothing, but 305 is a number that comes up a lot for just being a number. its:
hatanaka and mikis dorm room when they were students
rensuke and hijitas room now (confirmed to be the same room as hata and miki)
haruakis hospital room in vol 7
renkas hospital room (not the same hospital)
im told it has something to do with onmyoudou, but i cant find anything online. its probably nothing. but im pointing it out so itll haunt you on future rereads too lol
also, hatanakas birthday is 5/5 and mikis birthday is 3/3. cute
Book
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(chapter 70) this book that got knocked off the table is what prompts haruaki to call takahashi, and i spent a while trying to figure out what it is
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its... probably the laid back youkai dictionary? would make sense
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also, i didnt notice this before writing this, but its the gida taxi business card! cute!
Woah Holy Shit
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(chapter 70) wait. he straight up took off his mask to threaten haruaki. geez seimei-kun you got to see his sexy face before all of us!! kyaa!!
Finally The Goddamn Nyuudou House Heist, This Post Is Getting Long
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(chapter 71) this seems like a throwaway “wow cool operation about to start” line, but this is probably talking to yamazaki or ame
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(chapter 71) on first reading, you probably either glossed over this or thought “ok anti youkai power time” directly going against his conditions with renpapa that he wasnt going to use it (which you may or may not also have glossed over on first reading)
but rereading this knowing its yamazaki changes that (not by much, since its just 2 sentences and he doesnt act on it, but yknow, fascinating)
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(chapter 72) here too, when he prioritizes getting mujina out with the intel
also how kurai doesnt even gloat too much even though he caught “haruaki”
even if it wasnt immediately revealed 1 panel later, you probably would have caught on to something being up with just this
or it would be the fact that it was revealed already theres a separate team in chapter 71
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(chapter 73) again, here, when sano prioritizes tamao even though “haruaki” is with them too
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ah, yknow, one o’ them “call forward”s, one o’ them “back-foreshadowing”
Amaaki Content
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(chapter 76) finally getting to the chapters i did. i kinda hate reading my own chapters since i stared at them so much theyre burned into my brain, i hope theyre like, done well. if i had infinite time and energy i would totally redo these first chapters i did. in fact i kinda did, i had to come back and fix some text bubble shaping and phrasing before i posted these anywhere. anyway this has been totally irrelevant.
super un-haruaki-like expression, but im a amaaki liker hehe
a comment on bilibili really opened my eyes, its that this came from ame’s own feelings about haru teaching at hyakki (crying and punching walls rn)
The sky’s clear...
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(chapter 76) CRYING SOBBING PUNCHING WALLS RN ITS BECAUSE HARU MEANS CLEAR SKIES UEUEUEUE
We’re All Fools Compilation
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(chapter 76) it was at this moment, that i realised: “OH RIGHT HIS FUCKING BRACELET”
anyway, heres the His Fucking Bracelet Or Lack Thereof compilation
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I mentioned this in my google drive translation notes, but you can really see how the author purposely showed ame’s right hand at every opportunity
Anyway
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(chapter 77) he’s riding gida here, not just for fun, but because he got jabbed with his own immobilization drug by kurai in chapter 75.
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um. i hope i translated this in a way that made sense.
anyway this has been the renren arc post wahoooo!! super incomprehensible i hope i get better at this probably wont tho!! i wanna make a post like this for the seimei student arc and also kyoto arc too
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angry-geese · 3 years ago
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Hi there <3 I've read some of your works and i'm in love with your writing. May I please request a fluff gojo x fem!reader? Like they finished their work in the evening and spend the rest of the night together at home💕 It could be a oneshot or a hc, whichever you feel to write. Thank you so much ^^ I'm sorry just in case my request is somehow not really clear☺️
Of course! here you go <3
Mochi
Gojo Satoru x reader
Warnings: none! entirely fluff! this will quite literally rot your teeth. afab reader
a/n: this ended up being a little longer than I intended lol whoops
Word Count: 2.5k
Satoru Gojo is a busy man.
The strongest can't really take a break. He’s on call 24/7. People are pulling him in all directions simultaneously. With everything that's been going on, between the mess with Sukuna, and everything happening at the school, he’s been short on time.
He needs a break.
He's more tired than he lets on. He’s good at hiding it. Especially around his students. It's hard to pull him away from his work. He's insistent that he’s fine. When you’re around someone for so long, you learn to pick up when they aren't. He can pretend to be fine all he wants. You know otherwise.
Sometimes what the strongest needs is someone to boss him around.
He’s capable of taking care of himself. He’s proven that already. But worrying is in your nature. You care about him, of course you’re going to worry.
You were a first year when you met him, having just transfered schools after an incident involving a curse. In a matter of weeks your life had seemingly been flipped on its head. The switch took some time to get used to. Switching schools your first year, let alone switching to this one in particular, was never going to be easy. Getting used to the way Jujutsu society worked took a while. He was a year above you, and you remember absolutely hating him. Gojo was insufferable- or you found him to be such. But he was friends with Nanami, who was a friend of yours, so you reluctantly hung out with him. Nanami, being in the same year as you, was the first to help you out, extending a hand and helping you get used to the way things worked.
Spending time with him didn't do much to change your views. The two of you couldn't have been more different. You still are. But something about opposites attracts.
The first time you gave him the benefit of the doubt was the first time he saved your life.
It may be a bit of an over exaggeration. You’re certain you would have survived without his help, but that could also be an attempt to preserve your pride. You went after a curse, not expecting it to be as strong as it was. As far as you knew, it shouldn't have been stronger than a grade three. Being a grade two at the time, this should have been well in your ability. There ended up being more than one curse, and they were stronger than anyone had realized. You were in over your head.
It wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known. It's not like you could pick and choose which curses you fought. As a student, that was decided for you.
You had resigned to your fate, separated from the others, injured. Nothing fatal. It left a cool scar, though. But you were well out of your league, put on an assignment far harder than you could deal with. You hate to admit defeat, but you had no other option.
Out of what seemed like thin air came Gojo, taking out both curses like it was nothing. Despite not liking him all that much, it was hard to not be impressed. He was strong. Stronger than you could ever hope to be.
You made it home in one piece.
It was three days before you’d finally confront him.
Getting him alone was hard enough. Being an underclassman, you didn't interact with him a whole lot. You didn't have any classes together. The few times you ran into him were when you hung out with Nanami, who was gone at the time.
When the opportunity presented itself, you took it, cornering him behind the school.
Even back then it was impossible to sneak up on him. He could sense you coming.
“Jesus-” he said, referring to you by your last name, “you look like you want to kill me.”
“You helped me out.” You said. “Why?”
He only shrugged. Not wanting to take that for an answer, you followed him. You were insistent you paid him back. You’d never let a debt like that go unpaid. The first debts are always the hardest to pay back. And when a first debt involves saving your life, well, you’ve got a lifetime to pay back. You only left once Gojo showed up. He needed to talk to Gojo about something, and although you were curious, you didn't feel like sticking around.
Gojo spent the next couple days scheming. You were determined enough you would do just about anything. He could have easily abused his power. It would have been even easier to force you to drop it, but something told him you weren't about to take no for an answer.
You wouldn't.
3pm in the bathrooms. It was hardly a week later. Your last class had ended for the day. You had snuck cigarettes in, blowing the smoke out of the crack in the window. You don't smoke anymore, but you went through nearly a pack a day in high school. There wasn't a specific brand you liked—you didn't necessarily like smoking, but you did it when you were stressed—you just used whatever you got ahold of.
You didn't hear the door open. Gojo wasn't the sneaky type, but he could be when he wanted. You weren't too hard to sneak up on.
If you didn't have contraband that likely would have gotten you expelled, you would have screamed when you saw him. He scared you, not to mention he snuck into the girl’s bathrooms. The two of you would be in equally deep shit if you reported the other. So at that moment you came to a silent agreement.
“You still want to pay me back?” He asked. “Cause I have an idea.”
You perked up at his words.
“Get me mochi from that shop just down the road. You know the one that just opened up?” He asked. “Bring me some and I’ll call us even.”
“That's it?” You asked. It was almost anticlimactic. But despite everything, he was insistent.
Gojo hasn't changed a whole lot since then.
He still has his sweet tooth. He still makes you get him mochi from that shop. It feels like you’re the ones keeping it in business nowadays.
You’re not quite sure who made the first move.
Soon you began spending more time together away from Nanami and Geto. You got along better than anyone—mostly you—ever expected. You weren't the most outwardly affectionate. While you were far from shy, pda wasn't really your thing. Gojo is the opposite. Even now, years after you began dating, he’s still clingy. You’ve gotten used to it. Gojo is possessive, he wants everyone to know you’re his. Not that they don't know already. He can't shut up about you.
Getting him alone has always been hard. Not much has changed in the past few years. He’s only gotten busier. Try to drag him away from work all you want, you rarely succeed.
Tonight he's come willingly. He finished his work early, and all you had left was stuff you could finish in the morning.
Nights at home like this—together—are rare. It feels like you hardly see him anymore. You often fall asleep alone, only to wake up to the other side of the bed being cold. He’s been so occupied with this business with Yuji, that he’s hardly had time for anything else. You sneak away during your breaks, like you’re teenagers again, stealing kisses between classes. You almost don't know what to do.
It almost feels like you should do something to celebrate.
The lights are off when you get home. Your apartment looks empty. Megumi must still be out with his friends.
“What should we do for dinner?” Gojo asks.
“Takeout?” You say. "I don't feel like cooking."
Gojo’s a decent cook, but he doesn't feel like doing so either. He’d get takeout every night if you’d let him. But that's not good for him (or Megumi) so you force him to do otherwise. Because you’re normally home, and you like baking, you’re usually the one to make dinner. There's not much in the fridge. You'll have to get groceries eventually. Not tonight. Maybe tomorrow. It shouldn't take long.
“How does Korean barbeque sound?" He asks. "From that place down the street?”
"Sounds good,"
You find a menu buried in one of your kitchen drawers, stashed with other takeout menus. You pick out something—two meals, plus some sweet buns for dessert—he calls the restaurant. You pay the extra cash to have it delivered. Neither of you feel like going and picking it up. It's more convenient than the alternative.
The tv drones on in the background while you wait. There’s not much on tv at this hour. News, some late night soaps. While you do like your occasional soap opera, none that you normally watch are on. Gojo changes it to the news. The weather. It looks like it'll rain tomorrow morning, but the rest of the day is supposed to be warm.
"We should go to the park tomorrow," you say, "having a picnic sounds nice."
Gojo hums in approval. As long as you make those tea cakes—the ones with honey drizzled on top—he'll agree to tag along. Maybe you'll go check out the bookstore too. It's been a while since you've last gone.
You strip out of your uniform, pulling on some more comfortable clothes; a pair of shorts and one of Gojo's shirts. It smells like him. You can't help but bury your nose in the collar.
When there’s a knock at the door, Gojo is the one to answer. He returns with your food. You gather napkins and utensils. Gojo never saw the point in anything other than stainless steel chopsticks. Or wooden ones—those given to you with takeout—if he wasn't feeling up to doing dishes. You, on the other hand, bought all sorts of colorful ones and stands that may or may not have been lifted from various restaurants. That's one habit from your teenage years you never lost. You'd pocket almost anything that wasn't nailed down. Your apartment has a rather impressive assortment of salt and pepper shakers. Not to mention the box of hotel soaps you never use, but took because you "might" need it. He enables you, taking some whenever he stays out of town, bringing them home for you. Gojo can hardly say no to you.
Gojo settles next to you on the couch, his shoulder pressed to yours. He can't keep his hands off of you. He’s possessive by nature. Everyone has to know you’re his. He always has to be touching you. Not necessarily with his hands, but he presses his thigh against yours while sitting next to you, or his body pressed against yours from behind in public.
The two of you eat in relative silence. Gojo’s attention turns to the tv, but that doesn't stop him from practically laying on top of you. Occasionally he’ll sneak bites of your food, and you of his.
When you’re done, you clear away the empty containers, sitting any leftovers in the fridge. Gojo sprawls out on the couch. He easily takes up any bit of space. The couch can hardly fit all 6-foot-something of Gojo. It hardly fits you. You've been meaning to look for another one, but haven't found the time to.
He opens his arms, and instinctively you go into them. You move so you can rest partially against the arm of the couch, Gojo's head leaning against your shoulder. His arms loop around your waist, his fingers lacing over your stomach.
It doesn't take him long to begin to drift off. He falls asleep in the crook of your neck. The low sound of the tv, combined with the warmth of his body makes you want to drift off to sleep. Sleeping on the couch like this isn't very good for your (or his) back, but you don't want to move.
The next time your eyes open, some late night game show plays, disturbing your sleep with loud music. The clock on the wall reads some time past two. It's hard to read the minute hand. You gently shake Gojo awake. One of his eyes cracks open and he lets out a soft “hm?”
“Come to bed,” you say, your arms wrapping around his neck, “it's late.”
His eyes close, and for a moment you think he’s drifted back off to sleep, when his grip around you tightens, and he’s rolling over on top of you.
“I think I’ll stay here with you, mochi,” he says, planting a wet kiss to your neck. The feeling of his lips on your neck makes you shiver.
And though he doesn't move, there's a look in his eyes that tells you he has something planned. You only notice too late that his grip never loosens, and the mischievous glint to his eyes. You couldn't wiggle out of it if you wanted to. You're effectively trapped.
He litters your neck with kisses, sending you into a giggling fit, and he doesn't stop until you’re begging him to. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes from laughing. Your nails dig into your palms so hard they leave little crescent-shaped indents.
When you finally settle down, he’s pulling you into his arms bridal style, heading for your shared room. The bed is still unmade from this morning. Neither of you bothered to put it away. You were busy, and the thought slipped your mind.
Gojo shoves the covers aside, pulling you to lay on his chest. His fingers gently trace up the curve of your spine as he watches the steady rise and fall of your chest. Goosebumps prickle your exposed skin. He’s careful with how he touches you, loving, and soft. It's like he’s trying to memorize every inch of your body. His heartbeat is audible. Steady, and quet, acting as a lullaby. Your eyes shut, but you’re still awake. The intimacy of the moment doesn't go over your head.
He thinks he could die happy at this moment. Any moment, with you, really. Even during fights, or nights where he doesn't come home until long after you’ve fallen asleep, and you’re left irritated with his lack of time. As long as you’re by his side, he’s content.
He doesn't give much to the thought of settling down. His work will never let him. Neither does he think much about having any biological children. You practically have two already. Settling down isn't really an option for the strongest. This is the closest he’ll get to it.
For now, he just thinks about the park, and the blue sundress you always wear when you go.
Not many people can say they’ve changed who Satoru Gojo is as a person—let alone for the better—but you’ve changed him twice. Once in your meeting behind the school, and once again tonight. He’s found the one.
The first debt is always the hardest to pay back. But you've paid it in full.
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danhoemei · 3 years ago
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Hi, danhoemei.....if you don't mind me asking who are your favorite romantic relationship's couples in books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series (canon or non-canon)? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....
Hello thanad-zid, the curious sweetheart 💚 I don't mind at all, you actually made me think about the series I haven't thought about for so long! (I'll answer excluding danmei because that's material for a whole separate post and I partly answered that)
19 days by Old Xian - tianshan
(and zhanyi who I love with my whole heart but tianshan is The One for me akjvsbdv)
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Tough on the outside but soft on the inside delinquent and the devilish lonely rich boy who'll go batshit crazy if his friends are in danger. Both of them learning to trust and very slowly showing their vulnerable sides to each other.... I can't say much, it's already a spoiler that they become closer because in the story they start as strangers or even "enemies". They're also secondary characters so they make appearance later in the story and gradually gain more importance (well, it started with them being secondary but tbh now they're one of the main characters with a lot of focus AND I AM SO HAPPY). But anyway, I am absolutely obsessed with them.
The original main pair (zhanyi) has completely different dynamic and vibe, but I love them and enjoy their story and relationship very much as well <3
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This series has such variety of multilayered characters who honestly could have their own separate manhuas. I absolutely recommend 19 days, it started like absolute crack but gained so much depth and action and angst and questioning yourself and 'am I abnormal for having feelings for you' and trust and progress in relationships and-
I love this manhua so much, please read it, if you enjoy danmei you'll enjoy it.
Their story by Tan Jiu
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You want a sweet story about a lesbiab who fell in love at first sight and then pursued her love interest, firstly becoming friends and learning about each other, everything among a lot of humor and shenanigans? Well here you go.
Brooklyn 9-9 - Jake and Amy & Friends - Monica and Chandler
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I see similarities so I put them together lmao. They are wholesome and sweet, support each other no matter what, work for their dreams and for people they hold dear. The guys are hella funny but also very smart and cool, the girls are intense and ambitious and need to have everything under control but are also very sweet and loving. The shows are light and hilarious, good as a stress relief.
The Good Place - Chidi and Eleanor
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First of all I recommend The Good Place in general, a wild ride of unexpected twists and turns, each reveal more “whaaat” than the previous one, with diverse representation and filled with philosophical questions and lessons, created by people who love philosophy. Its humor is incredible as well akjvndfv
Chidi and Eleanor are complete opposites - a nerd with severe anxiety issues who spent his whole life buried in books, and a bi disaster who partied hard, made a lot of bad things, and cared mostly about herself. They learn from each other and complement each other, all the while growing and changing right in front of our eyes.
Aggretsuko - Retsuko and Haida
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HAIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA im love him your honor. Get a partner who can do both (be sweet and supportive, be badass and taking no bullshit). I truly believe they'd be happy and just right for each other, and I want them to be together 😭😭
Yuri on ice - Yuri and Victor
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akhdbsdjkfnlsdf if you watched this then you know why. I recommend it if you want a good quality lgbt anime with an interesting story, diverse characters, and beautiful skating scenes 💚 I love this wholesome duo so much T^T
Svvord of Truth - Richard and KahIan
I kinda feel like I owe it to them to mention them here, probably my earliest couple on this list. It’s an old high fantasy series which I read when I plunged straight into puberty, I haven't read it as a more mature person so I wonder if there are some harmful stereotypes I didn't see or how many typical tropes there are (well e.g. the main guy is so ridiculously overpowered and smarter/holier-than-thou, and there is a lot of black and white there) but also it’s a really complex world with interesting mechanics. However, what truly makes me remember this series fondly is because it was there with me when I was going through a lot of hardships, showing me a rich world with many people worth loving, strong women who I admired and strived to be, wise people of different backgrounds, cultures, and ages. It taught me how important it is to be kind and compassionate, that no matter how desperate your situation can get there is always hope and a way, that people who care about you will be there for you when you need them, and that you need to reciprocate as well. To always “think about the solution, not about the problem” which became the thing I repeat to myself every time I start struggling. The main couple also showed me what I want to strive for in a good relationship - support, understanding, standing by each other’s side no matter what, deep respect for each other and treating each other as equals, working for the relationship, and most importantly trusting each other. The series might be a typical high fantasy but for my growing and messed up mind it was a good teacher who reminded me of things we consider obvious but tend to forget, and might have played a significant role in who I am now.
Ok, I wanted to add a short bullet-point list of some other couples but this list is already long so let’s end here xd
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marginalmadness · 4 years ago
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Summer Nights: 2/4
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Pairing: Rabbit!Hybrid Jungkook x Y/N
Rating: Mature (later explicit)
Genre: Hybrid!Fantasy, Romance, Fluff
Synopsis: A freak weather anomaly leads to a chance encounter with a rabbit-hybrid, and your kind nature results in you gaining a small, fluffy lodger, who questions your taste in television shows. It’s won’t be for long…will it?
Warnings/Tags: This chapter involves Jungkook going into heat.
Author’s Note: If I called @johobi​ patient before, I fucked up the tenses to bad in this chapter, it took her HOURS to fix. But she approved of the chapter which I’m happy about because this is the one I was most worried about. Jungkook Goes into heat in this chapter, and I hope nobody wants to kill me when they finish it.  Chapter 3 is only a week away! <3
Previous Chapter: Chapter 1 Chapter 3 Chapter 4
Tags: @kookiebunny97​ @mintyrae​ @skswriting​ 
Word Count: 5.6K
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction for entertainment purposes only. The events depicted here are entirely of my own imagining, and have no basis on actual people or events.
I hope everyone is enjoying BE, and Life Goes On.
Summer Nights: Chapter Two
The next morning is the first day of your new-new normal. You wake to the sound of music coming from the living room. You pull yourself to your feet, shuffling from your bed to find the sourc
The next morning is the first day of your new-new normal. You wake to the sound of music coming from the living room. You pull yourself to your feet, shuffling from your bed to find the source of the enchanting sound. To your shock and delight, you find Jungkook hopping around the kitchen happily, ears and hair bouncing as he sings along to the radio and prepares pancakes. His voice is divine. You stand there enraptured, caught under his spell. He drops the spatula in fright when he turns to find you leaning against the wall, watching him silently.
 “Please continue,” you urge him. But he shakes his head, blushing and hiding behind his ears. “Your voice is so pretty. Please?” you coax, stepping towards him. Jungkook considers you from behind his ears for a second. Then, tentatively, he picks up the spatula and resumes his song while he washes it clean.
 From that day onwards, he wakes you each morning the same way, voice drifting through the bedroom door he leaves slightly ajar. There’s always a stack of warm, fluffy pancakes waiting for you in the kitchen, and beside it a bowl of yogurt-drizzled fruit. As soon as you’re seated, Jungkook extends a freshly brewed cup of breakfast tea to you. You eat together in the early morning light, the radio playing in the background. And while you get ready for work, Jungkook cleaned up the dishes from breakfast. 
 Domestic heaven. 
At the end of your work day, you come home and thank God he’s still there. Sometimes he’s typing away on your laptop. Jungkook signed up as a freelance transcriber as a way to make money while staying with you. It was something to do while you were at work, too, restless soul that he is.  Sometimes, though, you come home to find him flopped on his side in a patch of sun, having a nap as a bunny. 
You cook dinner together now. Well, when you say together, you mean you take his direction, since Jungkook is a much better cook than you. He uses some of his free time to look up recipes he thinks you’ll like. 
It’s ridiculously heartwarming. 
After dinner, as is your routine, you split the washing up and curl up together to watch some Netflix. On the days you do all the washing up, Jungkook doesn’t fight you for control of the TV. 
You still tease him over the first and only time you watched a horror movie. The first jump-scare forced him into rabbit form and he leapt into your lap in fright. Jungkook spent the entire movie there, shivering. And the rest of the night he spent pressed against your side in a tight, furry ball. Of course, the next day he insisted he wasn’t that scared, he just didn’t want to bother you by transforming back and forth.
He did a similar thing when you were watching a sappy romantic movie, but you don’t tease him about that. The second you noticed him sniffling at the lovers’ separation, he turned into a rabbit and hopped off his chair and over to you. You expected him to come cuddle, but he scrambled onto the back of the sofa and situated himself by your head instead. Every time there was a particularly romantic moment, he would nudge you with his nose and tickle you with his whiskers. And when he was feeling particularly bold, he’d grip your shoulder with his front claws and rub his chin over your cheek and neck. It tickled so much it made you squirm. 
After extricating yourself from his clutches, a quick search on the internet told you that rabbits do this to mark their territory. You have trouble looking him in the eye the rest of that day. You know he’s attracted to you; have done since that first night. But he’s been ever so respectful. For some reason, the thought of him marking you as his makes your skin flush and burn.
Shopping for groceries is an experience, too. Jungkook skips around the store, picking multiple things up, asking you if you like them before throwing them in the shopping cart. It doesn’t matter whether you need them or not, just if you like it. That’s good enough for Bun. He’s so happy and energetic, his smile wide and eyes sparkling until you bend over into a freezer to pick up some ice cream. When you turn back, Jungkook is clinging to the cart, his eyes wide and entire body stock-still. All but his foot as it wildly pounds the ground.
“You okay, Bun?” you ask with a tilt of your head. His mouth drops open into a shape as round as his eyes. Mimicking you, Jungkook tilts his head before blinking and shaking it. And then he coughs, practically vibrates, before muttering something about cereal and running off in the opposite direction of the cereal. 
Ever since that peculiar day, Jungkook has insisted on going grocery shopping alone. Something about getting out of the house and becoming more independent. But he blushes and averts his eyes as he says it, foot tapping wildly until he kicks over a plant pot. He cleans up the mess without another word, chewing on one of its stricken leaves and purposefully avoiding your eyes for the rest of the day.
Your weekends become different too. Before Bun arrived, you’d spent them relaxing after your work week, alone and in peace. Now you have a tiny, demanding rabbit that follows you around your apartment, tripping you up. And now you also have a fully grown, demanding man. A roommate - for lack of a better word - with which to do things. Now you have Saturday walks in the park and Sunday brunches. Imagine that.
 Jungkook is incredibly physical. Forever moving, rarely still, bouncing from foot to foot, wiggling when excited. When you praise him, he claps and dances. The day you get a promotion at work, he hugs you so tightly, lifting you up and spinning you in the air because he’s simply that happy. He binkies about in excitement just as much as he did in bunny form, long hair and floppy ears bouncing wildly as his eyes crinkle in happiness, sending things flying in his excitement. You’ve already replaced one particular lamp three times.
But then Jungkook starts marking his territory in human form, too.
You’re chopping something for dinner on some nondescript day when Jungkook approaches you from behind, hands sliding gently over your hips. You could shake him off easily if you wanted to. But you find yourself not wanting to. His chin rests on your shoulder as though he’s just watching you work, but then the subtle rub starts. Across your shoulder and into the crook of your neck, until an involuntary shudder runs down your spine. It snaps Jungkook back to his senses and he pulls away.
—-
The day everything changed was the day from hell. Work had been awful, just one fuck up after another. None of which were even your fault, but all of which you were expected to fix.
You come home to a tidy apartment, subtle scented candles burning and soft music playing. Jungkook is in the kitchen cooking, and you’re sure the ingredients you can smell are ones he’s shopped for today.
“Welcome home.” He smiles over his shoulder at you. “Dinner is almost done if you want to get washed up.” He turns back to stir the pan on the stove. When you walked through the front door you were on the verge of tears. Now your eyes are misting up for the complete opposite reason.
You drag your sorry ass over to him and practically collapse against his wide, strong back, wrapping your arms around his tiny waist like he often does you.
“Thank you,” you practically sob into his shirt, screwing your eyes closed in an effort to not actually cry. You try to keep the emotion out of your voice but Jungkook knows you well enough to sense you’re upset by something. He immediately switches off the stove burners and turns to wrap his arms tightly around you, holding you without a second thought.
 “What is it? What’s wrong?” he asks, voice full of concern. Large, strong hands brush the hair back from your face.
 “I just had a really shit day, and you just—” You turn, arms flailing, motioning to the clean apartment and dinner on the stove. Jungkook nods in understanding. “—you made it all better.” His eyes go round as he blinks at you in shock, before melting into something warm. He tucks your hair behind your ears and tilts your head as he moves in, as though he were going to kiss you. Your eyes flutter closed as his nose brushes yours, but his lips never touch yours. “What’s this?” you ask in a whisper, blinking your eyes open to find him smiling at you softly.
 “A rabbit thing,” he says simply, resting his forehead against yours with a soft grunt of air. It doesn’t quite reach a growl. You know it's a rabbit thing; you researched. But you didn’t expect it in human form.
 “Okay.” You don’t push, don’t demand an explanation for a deeper meaning, just accept the affection from him. You lean in and brush your nose against his in return, causing him to gasp and grunt again, hand moving from your face to your waist. It lingers there for a few seconds before Jungkook gently, physically, pushes you away, his large eyes looking bigger than usual. His pupils are blown out, almost entirely black. Breath comes from his parted lips in short pants and huffs.
 “You should get cleaned up while I finish dinner,” he says softly, stepping backwards. There’s an arm’s length of space between you now. You nod at him, hands finding his, giving him a squeeze as you back out of the kitchen. You don’t let go until the space between you is too far for your fingertips to touch. His eyes don’t leave you until you’re completely out of sight.
 You close the door quietly, leaning your forehead against it and taking slow, deep, grounding breaths, trying to calm the racing of your heart. What was that? Sure, it isn’t the first time he’s done it; he did it on the night he transformed and kissed you. Somehow, though, it felt as intimate as him kissing you again. Is it wrong to feel this way towards Jungkook? He’s your Bun, your charge; you’re his caretaker. Are you taking advantage of him? Is he only acting like this because he’s thankful to you for taking care of him?
 You push off and away from the door, feeling heavy. It’s almost like there’s a rope connecting you to Jungkook and forever pulling you towards him. You change out of your work clothes into something more comfortable. If that more comfortable thing happens to be something just a little clingy in certain, flattering places, and it makes you feel pretty, then you tell yourself you need the ego boost after the day you had. It has absolutely nothing to do with wanting to look good for Jungkook. You head to the bathroom to wash your face and brush your hair into something more relaxed before returning to the kitchen. And Jungkook.
 “Nope!” Jungkook yells, stopping you before you can even enter the kitchen, two strong hands taking you by the shoulders, turning you around and practically marching you towards the living room. You pout over your shoulder at him, but he’s just grinning and laughing at your pouty face. You slump onto the sofa and he leans over the back of it, hovering over you, his eyes crinkling as he laughs musically. Ever so carefully he takes you by the jaw, rubbing his chin over your head, tilting you to the side so he can whisper in your ear.
 “Sit and relax, I’ll bring you dinner.” His voice is light and full of joy.
 You sit and pout, grabbing the remote to put some music on. At the exact moment you drop it back to the table, a bowl of food is placed in front of you. You blink up at a grinning Jungkook as he retreats eagerly to the kitchen, presumably for drinks. His enthusiasm is infectious. You pick up the bowl of pasta, twirling your fork in the creamy sauce and noodles, and take a big bite. It’s delicious. Delicious enough to have you moaning with pleasure and sliding back against the couch.
 “Kookie, this is amazing!” you groan, licking the sauce from your lips.
 Jungkook stares at you, eyes wide, focused on your tongue as it slides along your lips. You hadn’t even realised he’d come back from the kitchen. He places a glass of wine on the table in front of you, ducking his head and hiding behind his ears as he shuffles to his spot on the sofa, bowl in hand. You watch him slyly out of the corner of your eye. His face is so red, so glowing you can almost feel the heat radiating from it. “I made it,” he says, still staring intently at his food. “I found a recipe online I thought you would like.”
 “From scratch?” you ask, amazed. He nods, biting his lip and refusing to look at you. You reach across the space between you and thread your fingers into his soft, wavy locks, rubbing the spot just behind one of his floppy ears. “Bun this is amazing, it tastes amazing!” His head lifts up, eyes so big they sparkle in the low light. “You’re amazing,” you whisper in a soft voice. Jungkook ducks his head again, hiding once more behind his long ears and curly hair. He eats his food slowly, more picking at it than anything. You, on the other hand, tuck in enthusiastically, all manners and grace gone, letting him see and hear your enjoyment of the food. You know how much it pleases him when you unabashedly enjoy his cooking. When you ask for seconds, handing him your empty bowl, Jungkook binkies across the room to the kitchen, bouncing on his heels as he piles a second serving of noodles and sauce into your bowl.
 He hands it back to you soon after and sits beside you on the sofa, knees curling under himself. Reclining on the back cushions, he observes you as you eat, arms crossed and eyes sparkling. When you’re half way through your second serving and can’t eat a bite more, he whisks away the dishes and returns quickly to your side. 
 Jungkook flops over and places his head in your lap. “Will you…” He bites his lip, turning to bury his face in your sweater, his cheeks burning crimson again.
 “What? What do you want, Kookie?” you ask, carding your fingers through his hair and rubbing a thumb over the gentle fur of his ear. It twitches repeatedly.
 “Just this. Will you play with my hair? Stroke my ears?” he asks in a small voice. It’s unusually meek for him in his human form.
 “Of course I will, Bun. Anything you want.” You smile, running your fingers through his hair, nails trailing down his scalp. His leg kicks out, narrowly missing the coffee table. You hand him the remote. “Pick something to watch.”
Jungkook shuffles, turning to face the TV. With his head still in your lap, he curls up into a ball, enjoying your ministrations. You continue to pet him, running your fingers through his hair and stroking his ears, twirling locks of hair around your finger before releasing the resulting curl. You lounge there together, the stress of the day bleeding away from you thanks to a stomach full of good food and your hand tangled in the hair of—Jungkook—whatever he was to you right now.
You don’t know exactly when you fall asleep, but you wake to strong arms holding you, carrying you to your room. Jungkook places you delicately on your bed and you fling yourself backwards, curling up to drift off again. But before long you’re being shaken gently awake and sat back up. Soft, cotton pajamas are pushed into your hands.
“You need to get changed,” a soft, deep voice says firmly in your ear. A warm body presses against your back.
You pout, eyes resolutely closed, but begin taking off your sweater. Large hands help you when you get tangled on your arms. It’s even more of a struggle to unhook your bra. You flail for a while before dropping your arms and slumping back against Jungkook with a tired, pathetic whine. If you were properly awake you might have noticed how his breath hissed through his teeth, or how his nose rubbed your temple. 
With more force than is probably necessary, Jungkook grips you by the shoulder and props you forward. Then, with just one finger, he pulls your bra band away from your back, taking all care not to touch you at all. By some black magic he manages to unhook it, sliding the straps down and off your arms before discarding it on the floor. Not once does he look over your shoulder. He pulls the camisole of your pajama set over your head, guiding your arms through the straps before you wake enough to take over and pull both arms through.
“Now the shorts,” he grunts, low and gruff. It’s unusual enough that you pout at him over your shoulder.
“Bossy bunny,” you mumble, standing and kicking off the comfy leggings you had on. Somewhere in the back of your head you register a soft ‘”shit’” that you’re too tired to acknowledge. You pull on your shorts and sit back down, immediately flopping to your pillow. You feel your body being turned, tucked beneath the sheet pulled over you. Sleep comes easily to you after that.
—-
You wake up while it’s still dark outside. Jungkook’s chest is hot against your back, his knees curled and tucked behind yours. A muscled arm hangs heavily over your waist, keeping you close to him. You lift it as carefully as possible and slide out of bed, tip-toeing stealthily across the soft carpet and out of the room. You head to the kitchen and grab a glass in the dark, in search of a drink for your parched throat.
You drink your fill and shuffle back to bed, bringing a glass with you just in case. Although you slip into your room as stealthily as you’d left it, Jungkook is awake when you return. He sits with his arms wrapped around his knees, bottom lip snagged beneath his prominent front teeth.
“Kookie?” you ask softly in the darkness, making your way back to your side of the bed. “I’m sorry, did I wake you?”
“No, I just—I reached for you and you were gone,” he says, watching you place your glass of water down and climb back into bed. “I was waiting for you to come back.”
“Silly rabbit,” you coo. Jungkook rolls towards you, wrapping his arms around your waist and tangling a powerful, muscular leg with yours. You settle back, stroking his head and mulling over his unusual clinginess as sleep comes to claim you. 
But then you feel a pressure against your thigh, and you’re suddenly very awake. 
Jungkook undulates his hips to a subtle rhythm. “Wha-” you begin, turning to look at him. But he buries his nose beneath your jaw, his breath coming out in soft,  heavy huffs in time with his movements. He grinds against your hip with a desperation. You swallow audibly, forcing yourself to ask as your face burns. “Jungkook, what are you doing?”
“Sorry,” he whines. “I can’t help it, I just—” He throws his thigh over your hips, shifting until he’s hovering over you, weight on his knees and forearms. His hips drop to roll against your stomach, a thick bulge straining the thin material of the pajama bottoms you had bought him. Jungkook ruts against your sweat-covered skin as you stare up at him, eyes wide, frozen in shock. Heat floods through you, stirring your insides until you’re panting. He is, too. His mouth hangs open as he huffs in time with his thrusts, lips grazing your jaw until they reach your mouth. He caresses it softly with his own, barely a whisper of a touch. Once. Twice. Just like that first night he turned. The third time, he kisses you. Your eyes flutter closed and you kiss him back. Nothing more than a delicate tilt of your head and a careful brushing of your lips against his. This is wrong, a voice in the back of your head whispers. This man is practically a stranger.
Only he’s not.
He’s shared your bed as a human for the past two weeks, and ten weeks before that as a rabbit.
You’ve spent evenings curled up together, watching shows you both enjoy. You know his moods, as he knows yours. Your hand feels as comfortable tangled in his hair as it does amongst his fur, and you can read his eyes in both forms exactly the same.
He’s your Jungkook. Your Kookie. 
Your Bun.
He exhales heavily, his tongue lapping at your lips for more. Warm breath fans your face and you practically tremble with anticipation. Jungkook tears himself away to run his hands down the curves of your body, and as you look up at him, your mouth dries at the sight of his godly form. The ever-present glow of the city creates a subtle neon halo behind him, heightening his otherworldly, divine presence.
“I-I—“ As suddenly as he came onto you, Jungkook scrambles backwards off the bed, falling ungracefully to the floor. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry!” he yells, eyes watery and wide with terror. He rushes out of the room so quickly he doesn’t even stand up straight. Just heads straight for the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. You follow too late, reaching your bedroom doorway just in time to hear the bathroom lock snap into place.
You drop to your knees outside the bathroom door, knocking on it gently. “Jungkookie, what’s wrong? Please, come out,” you call.
“I can’t,” comes a whine from the other side of the door. It almost sounds like a sob. “I have to stay here. Can I have a blanket please?” The voice is strained and tight; unsure. It’s not like the warm, bright voice you’ve come to know at all.
“Okay,” you agree. “I’ll get that for you. I’ll be right back.” When you return with the requested blanket, you let Kookie know with a small knock on the door. He cracks it open just enough for you to push the bedding through. In doing so, you catch a glimpse of his eyes. They’re wide and a little teary, his pupils huge. His face and upper chest is worryingly flushed. Jungkook notices you scrutinising his appearance and slams the door shut before you can comment. You hover on the other side of the door, not wanting to leave him. “I’m not upset with you, Bun. I understand if you want some space. Good night.”
You shuffle your way back to bed, curling up under the duvet for the first time in weeks. Because despite the heat and humidity of summer, it feels far, far too cold.
—-
The fullness of your bladder wakes you, demanding you seek relief immediately. You can tell by the noise outside that it’s late morning, and you hope Jungkook is already awake. You roll out of bed and shuffle over to the bathroom, trying the handle and finding it still locked.
With a reluctant sigh, you knock. “Jungkookie? Bun, I need to pee. Can you let me in please?” A few moments later there’s shuffling behind the door and the soft click of a lock opening. A sunken-eyed Jungkook stands on the other side, eyes averted. The duvet you gave him wraps him like a shroud. It hangs over his head, hiding his ears, his hands clutching it tightly at his chest. He stares pointedly at his feet as he shuffles past you, and if it weren’t for your desperate need to pee you’d stop and talk to him. But that’s a conversation that can wait until you’ve made breakfast.
You finish in the bathroom as fast as possible and make your way to the kitchen, noticing how he sits curled up on the chair in the corner of your living room.
You pull out all the things you need to make pancakes and crank up the volume on an upbeat playlist; mostly songs Jungkook likes listening to in the mornings. “Jungkook, could you help me please?” you ask sweetly. “The strawberries and bananas need slicing.”
He perks up at that, ears twitching before his eyes dart over to you. He loves bananas, almost obsessively loves them. I knew that would work, you smile to yourself. Jungkook fiddles with the waistband of his pajamas and you try to forget the outline of his hardness straining against them. Try to forget how your skin flushed when he rocked it against you. You focus back on the batter, giving it an extra hard stir, making sure there’s no lumps in it. That’s the reason for you beating it so vigorously. No other reason.
You sigh, pinching yourself before switching on the burner on the stove.
Jungkook begins chopping fruit. Yes. You smile to yourself, watching him out of the corner of your eye as you work on two stacks of pancakes. The tension in the air between you two eases, and soon you’re both dancing to a song that Jungkook listens to often; its easy choreography something you developed together. The song changes into something new, something you’ve never heard before, but you sway your hips nevertheless as you ladle batter into the hot frying pan. Jungkook bounces from foot-to-foot, endlessly energetic as he works his way through half a bunch of bananas and the entire bowl of strawberries. He’s piling the chopped fruit up on plates when you push between him and the counter with a small, murmured excuse me. The step he takes back to allow you access isn’t quite big enough. Even then you don’t notice; so used to squeezing around one another in the modestly-sized kitchen as you are.
 Jungkook, however, notices.
Your ass slides firmly against him and he grips your hips almost painfully hard, pressing you into the counter.
“Ow! Jungkook, what are you—” Your question becomes a squeal of surprise when he buries his nose behind your ear and grinds his rapidly hardening cock into the cleft of your ass. Only two, flimsy layers of clothing separate you. 
“I need you so bad,” he growls as he rubs his nose through your hair, the underside of his chin skimming the column of your neck. You arch back into him, throwing your head back to expose more of your neck to him. You’re usually a lot more reserved with men—a lot—but something about Jungkook makes you want to be wild. Maybe it’s the way you feel so safe with him. His body is a solid presence against your back, his thrusting desperate and needy. Gone is the sweet, delicate Bun you’ve come to care about. He’s been replaced with someone who grips you, growls at you, and yet you still feel safe in his arms.
It’s Jungkook. He’d never hurt you.
You groan, something between a whine and a whimper being ripped from the back of your throat as he rubs himself against you. Then, suddenly - unwelcomely - cold air hits your back. 
Jungkook has torn himself from you for a second time. 
You turn but he’s not behind you. Spinning in place, you see a fluffy tail vanishing around a cabinet and a pair of light grey pajamas left in its wake. You follow fast enough to watch him hightail it out of the kitchen and across the living room, straight under the chair in the corner. He never sits in it as a human, preferring to sit next to you on the sofa, but it’s his favourite place to hide as a bunny.
You crouch, peeking under the chair, trying to coax him out.
“I’m sorry, Jungkookie. Come out and talk to me, please?” you beg to the huddled mass of fur under the chair. He stays where he is, shifting in a way you know means he’s settling in for the long haul. You stand up, running to turn off the stove before dashing to your bedroom and throwing on some clothes. After grabbing your bag, you check under the chair again. Jungkook is still there. “I’ll be right back, okay?” you tell him, before rushing out the door.
You all but run out of your apartment building, dodging people on the street as you head to the florist a block and a half away to get a custom bouquet made. It’s ugly as hell, but it’s not supposed to be for looking at. All of the flowers are suitable for rabbits to eat, and you get triple the ones you know Jungkook is particularly fond of.
You rush back to your apartment on a sliver of energy, taking extra care to preserve your gift, but the whole journey takes you less than twenty minutes. You discard your shoes and bag by the door and head straight for the chair, placing your peace offering on the floor before it.
“I have a gift for you,” you say, pulling a white hibiscus from the bouquet and presenting it to him. “Please come out and talk to me, Bun.” You watch as Jungkook hops forward, unable to resist the pull of his favourite flower. You untie the haphazard collection of flowers and lay them out on the decorative wrapping paper for him. It does the trick and draws him out from under the chair. You hold your hand out to him carefully, letting him come to you on his own terms. Jungkook devours a rosebud and hops forward, bumping your hand with his nose. You sigh, tension you didn’t know was building melting from your shoulders.
Somewhat placated, you head back to the kitchen. The pancakes are now cold but nothing that can’t be reheated. You store his breakfast in the fridge and slip a couple bits of banana onto the paper with the flowers. Jungkook leaps at them, devouring them with relish before following you into the kitchen and circling your chair as you eat your pancakes. He reaches up, nudging your foot to get your attention. And by attention, he wants more bananas.
Once you’re all done with breakfast, you move to the living room. There are several episodes of a TV show you and Jungkook have been watching together that you need to catch up on, and that’s your usual plan for the weekend. Jungkook, however, has other plans. He jumps into your lap, purposefully knocking the remote out of your hand. You tangle your fingers through his fur and feel him shudder under your touch.
“Do you want to tell me what's wrong now?” you ask softly, thumb rubbing soothing circles between his eyes. Beneath your hand, Jungkook transforms. He curls in on himself, doing his best to obscure his nudity, and buries his head in your stomach. You run a hand down his back and find his skin is clammy and feverish. “Oh my god, are you sick? Bun, you’re burning up!” you exclaim, panic injected into your tone.
“I’m going into heat. It’s why I keep—why I keep—” His voice is high-pitched and strained again.
“Why you keep rubbing against me?” you finish for him, raking your nails through his long locks. His ears and tail twitch and Jungkook whines. Nodding, he curls in on himself tighter. “You need a partner,” you say matter-of-factly, but he shakes his head in disagreement.
“No. I don’t need a partner...” he says simply, the implication left hanging. You move his ear carefully, brushing his hair from his face and cupping it with one hand. Your thumb strokes his cheekbone until his tightly-clenched eyes open.
 “Then, tell me what you want,” you whisper. His eyes narrow like he’s assessing you. Assessing the full implication of your words and trying to decide how to answer you.
 “Normally I’d mate with someone in a nest—” Jungkook starts before he’s racked by shudders. He buries his face in your stomach again and whines.
 “My bed,” you offer. “You can build a nest there if you need to.”
He shoots upward at your words, watching your face carefully. “But—” His eyes are wide, mouth agape as he draws the logical conclusion but not daring to hope. “--where will you sleep?” He asks as though he is scared of the answer.
 You carefully brush his hair back from his face, thumbing over a floppy ear. “I c-can—“ you stutter, before taking a deep breath. “I’ll figure something out.” You lean forward, pressing your forehead to his. Your lips are so close like this, close enough to brush against each other as you speak. It’s not quite a kiss, but your intention is clear. “If you need anything—if you want anything...” You trail off. 
 Jungkook wastes no time. He sits up and crawls into your lap, his bare, muscular thighs straddling yours as he kisses you deeply. His hands, no longer rough, cup your face delicately as though he can’t believe he’s been gifted something so precious. Even as his naked hips roll against your stomach.
 “Iwantyouwantyouwantyou. Need you,” he chants between kisses.
 And in an act of madness - or perhaps sanity - you give yourself to him completely.
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highdramas · 4 years ago
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steady now | b.b.
𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝'𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞 | 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader
warnings: language, possible tfatws spoilers, mention of death? sort of? mention of the blip mostly, some angst, references to sexxxx babie
word count: 4.3k wowie
summary: bucky is not the only one with amends to make.
note: here’s another installment in the twalb story <3 again, you don’t have to read these in order, they stand independently, but they do all work together! PLEASE leave feedback/reblog! this is extremely helpful for me writing future parts to know what everyone likes or doesn’t like! i’m extremely proud of this part so i really hope that you all enjoy it as much as i’ve enjoyed writing it <3
enjoy! <3
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there was once a time where you loved california.
there was once a time where you had a boyfriend with an easy smile and charming demeanor and a family in ventura. his name was felix, and you always told people that he could make anyone fall in love with him with nothing but that stupid smile of him-- of course, you never said how that upset you. you never said how it hurt when the waitress looked at him with dazzling eyes and how he seemed to relish in the attention.
you never voiced how he seemed to eventually bore of the attention that you gave him. you never voiced the way that you wished he would look at you with those dazzling eyes and give you that breezy laughter and that look that said i have you in the palm of my hand.
he did. he didn’t need to give you that look to know that.
sometimes, you wonder if he felt any sort of relief after the blip. you wonder if when you dusted right before him, if he felt like he won in some sick way. of course, you know that he would never admit that. he would never make that known to anyone. maybe even himself. but subconsciously… you wonder if you were simply an accessory that was worn out of convenience, and if your fading from reality was the biggest convenience at all.
it’s sick. you know it’s sick, and likely not true. but still. you wonder.
when you returned, the first thing that you did when you got your hands on a cell phone was call him. you called him and you cried and you said that you were okay, you were here. you asked him what the hell happened. you asked him if it had really been five years.
you heard a voice in the background. it was feminine, light, airy. the voice of a fairy. you’ll never forget hearing that voice. you learned later that she was his fiance.
you’ll never forget the sort of heartbreak that you felt. it was visceral. the knowing-- the knowing that it wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t anything that you did. it was merely the absence of you. you still wonder how long he mourned. you wonder how long it took. you saw him only a handful of times after you returned. he had cried, and you had stared, unsure what to say.
how do you apologize for fading from existence?
that was the first time you saw him. the second was worse.
the second, you were angry. you were angry and you lashed out. what was supposed to be an easy dinner turned into an explosion of tears and fury, the words this isn’t fair and what was i supposed to do? wait for you? and so desperately you had wanted to say yes. you wanted to say that you wished he had held out hope, that he stayed up and dreamt of you and that he was devoted.
it was a selfish thought. he had told you politely to not contact him again.
you had learned that he had moved back to ventura with his fairy girlfriend from some casual facebook stalking. they bought a house on the coast. they’re planning a wedding.. she is beautiful, and you noticed something from the pictures you see of them together right away. he looks at her not like he was charming her, but like she was charming him.
that’s what made you realize he was never yours to begin with.
now, you’re in california again. now, bucky sits beside you and he drives and you control the music. now, he looks at you like you have hung the stars in the sky and propped up the moon. and you look at him the same way.
bucky has amends to make, but so do you.
when he reaches over and places his hand on your thigh, you smile. you place your hand over his and you squeeze. you’d insisted that you two rent a convertible, and though he rolled his eyes, he obliged. you drive down the pch and it is april and the sun is warm and inviting but not abrasive. he wears sunglasses and he doesn’t wear the gloves. he wears a short sleeved shirt.
it’s enough to make you smile and lay your hand back against the seat and make you think: everything happened just the way it should.
bucky is here to extend his amends to the chaplin family. well… really, he’s here to set them up with the CIA. they’ve been hydra sympathizers for years.
you, on the other hand, are here to extend amends of your own.
bucky knows. bucky knows and he watched you recall the story with tears blurring your vision. you would hiccup and say, “i’m sorry. i’m not sad over him, not anymore. i’m just sad that i could be forgotten so easily.”
he had held your face in his hands and he swiped at your tears and he said, “you’re impossible to forget.”
at first, when you brought up coming with him, he had been hesitant. his endeavors with the amends and with sam, he tends to like keeping separate. you get it. you know he doesn’t want to put you anywhere near the danger that he encounters, even if that maddens you. but then, your face fell and you held out the wedding invitation that had arrived in your mailbox. “i want to go.”
bucky takes it and he studies it and he clenches his jaw. he looks at you through his lashes. “i’m going with you.”
now, the wedding is in three days. you wonder if he was surprise when you sent in your rsvp marked yes. you were surprised that he invited you at all.
once, you remember him saying to you, “sometimes, you have to extend olive branches. you’re too damn stubborn for your own good.”
this is your olive branch.
bucky squeezes your thigh and his thumb makes small circles and it instills a calm in you that you haven’t felt since you stepped foot on the plane. he glances over at you. “we don’t have to go.” this isn’t the first time that he’s said this. “we can stay in our hotel all week. i’m sure we can find something to do.”
your jaw drops and you look over at him and he has that smug look on his face. it’s been nice, watching him slip into ease with you. “you are such a pig.”
“i’m just saying, we have options.”
you laugh and you swat his hand away. he grins and he places it on the head rest, his fingers idly playing with a few strands of your hair that blow in the wind as he drives. you pull up to the hotel and you check in and bucky carries all of your bags, which you try to object, but he simply does not care. you fall back onto the mattress and he follows suit and he presses his lips to yours, presses them to your pulse point, your jaw. he whispers against your skin that you are beautiful. he whispers against your skin that you’re an angel.
angel. he always calls you that.
hours pass and you spend most of them beneath bucky, breathless. eventually it is the middle of the night and you have done nothing but fuck and you’ll be the first one to admit that they were hours well spent. he’s propped up on an elbow and he looks down at you, dewy and heavy lidded. “why’d you want to come out here? to the wedding?”
you can’t help but laugh. “that’s what you want to talk about right now?”
he blushes, moves to hide his face, but you beam and you place your hand on the side of his face. you push yourself up and sit criss cross, holding the sheet to your body, facing him. he follows suit.
the two of you do this back home. whether you’re sitting on the living room floor or in bed. it’s easier to talk in the dark, bucky once said. you’d never forgotten. so, this became a sort of unspoken ritual. you would sit with your knees brushing and you would talk and you would laugh and you never wanted this to change.
“i guess i don’t know why i wanted to come.” you reach for his hand and he offers it to you. you run your fingers along the golden grooves, and you swear that you see the hairs on his opposite arm begin to stand up. “i didn’t want to be seen as the bitter ex. i hate-- i hate being perceived. you know? like, i can’t control how anyone views me. i can’t control them thinking i’m crazy or irrational. but… they don’t know anything at all.” bucky’s eyes never leave you. “i wanted to come because i feel like i’m ready to face it. the truth of it. i don’t feel fearful of it all. i used to feel so… gross. gross about how i reacted and how i felt. i felt so selfish. but now…” you can’t help but smile a little bit and you touch the place on his chest where his heart lies in his ribcage. “i’m glad for it. all of it. it’s stupid, but… it brought me here.” you lean your palm into his chest just slightly more. he covers your hand with his and he pulls you in, your hand splayed out on him.
bucky is softening before you. so often you are the one who offers an ear and a comforting touch, but he is happy to repay the favor whenever you need it. “you’re too strong all the time.” his words are definitive, with no room for arguing. “you were hurting. you’re allowed to hurt. you didn’t have a choice in missing out on five years while the world went on without you.”
of course, you know he’s right, but it just feels good to hear it. it feels good to hear it from him. “and he was an asshole.” bucky’s jaw sets. “he had five years to mourn you and your relationship. he barely gave you a month. what sort of guy does that? to a girl he loved?” he shakes his head, as if shaking the thought from his person. “if that were me, i would’ve…”
you watch as he trails off. he looks down and away. you gently take his face and move it up, getting him to look at you again. he gives you this smile that is equal parts sorrow and loving, and you wish you could take away all his pain. “i’d mourn you for life. and i… if i got the chance to have you again? i’d--”
“bucky.” you cut him off smoothly and you shake your head. “that won’t happen.”
he smiles. “i know.” he pushes your hair back and his hand rests on the back of your neck. “i just can’t imagine someone having you and not--” he shakes his head. “he’s a fool.”
gently, your hands lay on his knees and you lean forward. “you asked why i wanted to come,” you whisper, your lips nearly touching his. “i wanted to come because i want to thank him.” you press your lips against his, and his hand goes to splay on your back, pulling you in nearer and nearer. “he recommended the apartment building.”
bucky grins and you connect in every possible place. you roll between the sheets once more and eventually, sleep overtakes you.
the days leading up to the wedding pass by in a relative blur. bucky goes to make his amends and though you offer to come, he shakes his head. “i’ll be quick,” is his promise, and he keeps good on it. he’s gone barely two hours.
you spend time on the beach and sight seeing. you don’t know if you’ve ever seen bucky this… relaxed. yes, he’s always slightly more alert than your average citizen, but you will never fault him for that. you go and get ice cream and you sit on a little bench and bucky stares at you. “what?” you asked and you raise your brows. “something on my face?”
“actually, yes.” he reaches out and swipes your bottom lip, coming back with some strawberry ice cream on his thumb. he pops it into his mouth and it makes your heart plummet to your stomach. “yum.”
you all but drag him back to your hotel.
finally, it is the day of the wedding.
bucky has been ready for hours. he likes unbearably handsome-- you’d gone with him to a shop in new york and had helped him pick out some new slacks and a nice fitting shirt. he had chuckled at the way that the pants hit his ankles and said, “it’s definitely not the forties anymore.”
you had picked out a sage green silk dress, and you smooth it out in the mirror, tilting your head to the side as you looked at yourself. bucky approaches you from behind and you’re so stuck in your own head that you hardly notice him until his hands are on you. they go to your shoulders, rubbing soothing circles into tense muscles with his thumbs. “you look beautiful, doll.” he leans forward and he presses a chaste kiss to your shoulder, which makes you smile, because it’s so him. “i wanna kiss you but i don’t want to mess up your makeup.”
“like that’s ever stopped you before.”
“i’m a gentleman.”
a smirk works its way onto your face and some of the nervous, fluttering monarchs in your stomach have begun to dissipate. you turn and he gently holds your face, examining it. he opens his mouth to say something, laughs, and closes it. “i don’t even know how…” he clears his throat. you swear that tears prick at his eyes. “i don’t even know how to say how much… how perfect you are. i’ll never be able to say it properly.”
everything about james buchanan barnes makes you melt, and this is no different. you sigh and you lean your body against his, and he holds you ever close. “thank you for coming with me,” you whisper into the skin of his neck. “i needed you here.”
he holds the back of your head carefully. “i’d follow you anywhere, doll.” he pulls back and his hand holds your face, and the vibranium is like a kiss to your cheek. “may i kiss you?”
your lips part and you nod-- and he takes his time kissing you. he kisses you long and tender, making sure that you feel everything. sometimes you think that this is easier than talking for him-- this is the way that he can show you how perfect he finds you. it’s better than any words he could string together.
the ride to the venue is somewhat of a blur. bucky doesn’t take his hand off of you-- it’s constantly holding yours. from the car to the walk inside to taking your seats-- you can feel the eyes that are glued to you, but you can feel bucky’s hand in yours more. you can hear the muffled whispers of gossiping friends and family, but you hear bucky’s murmured complaints louder, and they make you laugh.
felix is at the altar already. he’s talking with a groomsman and he laughs at something and you smile a bit. he looks happy, you think. bucky’s arm is slung across the back of your chair and his fingers trail up and down your shoulder, his eyes fixed on you.
you turn to look at him, too. you lay your hand on his knee and your smile says your thanks over and over and over again. bucky’s eyes flick to the altar, and he sees that you’ve finally been noticed. felix may be looking at you, but you will never know. you are looking at bucky.
the ceremony is pretty. bucky’s bored, you think-- that thought is enough to make you chuckle. felix’s fairy girlfriend is exactly what you gathered from the pictures-- she is energetic and kind, she is sweet and beautiful. the more you think, the more you watch the way that felix looks at her, the lighter you feel.
a part of you had feared that you would never get over him. that you would never get over the what if. possibilities tended to haunt you, but now, being here… you had known for a long time that not only had you gotten over him, you had found something so much better than what you had. but it’s the thought that thrums through you that you were not expecting.
you can see this for yourself. one day. bucky at an altar in a suit, you in white.
you smile to yourself in your seat. bucky looks over at you. you look over at him, just for a moment. your heart feels full.
felix begins his vows. “carly,” he begins and he clears his throat. you can tell that he’s already getting emotional. “never did i once expect to find you. never did i expect to find someone who fit with me so… completely.” you watch as his hands shake as he holds the piece of paper. “but i did. and i’m so lucky it was you.”
his vows go on, and they are beautiful. through it all, you can sense bucky beside you, entirely attentive to you.
the reception is on the beach. the sun is setting, and it is stunning. the food is good and every gives speeches and toasts and you’ve been placed at a table with some friends that both you and felix had known. of course, when shit hit the fan with you and felix, you hadn’t exactly kept in touch, but they’re kind nevertheless. some recognize bucky, and the questions they ask make you cringe. “so… winter soldier,” one of them, kya, begins. “you actually did all of that bad shit?”
it takes everything in you not to lunge across the table. bucky’s hand finds your leg underneath the table, already knowing what you’d like to do. you open your mouth to interject, but bucky cuts you off. “hydra did.” he gives a clipped smile. it leaves no room for discussion.
they ask about the avengers and about thanos, and all of it makes you roll your eyes. they talk to bucky as if he’s a toy rather than a human being. as everyone is mingling, you see the couple beginning to approach your table. everyone cheers and scoops them up into hugs. it makes a part of you sad. not because of him, but because it’s another reminder of how life went on without you.
you and bucky stand and approach them. you can almost feel bucky’s hesitation as he sizes up felix. the protectiveness in his stance makes your heart swell. carly smiles at you, but you can tell that there’s a hint of nervousness in her demeanor. “hi!” she says and she looks between you and bucky. “we were both so happy when we got your rsvp. a little surprised, but…”
your eyebrow raises and you look at them. “i wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” you place your hand on bucky’s arm. “felix, carly, this is my boyfriend, james. james, felix and carly.”
he shakes their hands and you note the way their eyes flick to the metal one on the other side. bucky and carly begin to make awkward small talk, and you look at felix. he looks at you. there’s something knowing in the stare. “want to take a walk?” he asks, nodding towards the beach.
you nod. felix turns to carly and you turn to bucky, who has a slightly concerned look written on his face. “it’ll be fine.” you lean in and you kiss him, wanting to take any insecurity from him. “play nice, but not too nice. if they say anything stupid, call them on it.”
bucky smirks. “you got it, doll.” he looks to felix and nods to him, and there’s something in bucky’s eyes that must scare him, because you swear felix pales slightly. and then you and felix set off.
for the first part of your walk, both of you are quiet. it’s as if both of you knew that this was inevitable, and now you’re just trying to figure out where to start. both of you begin to talk at the same time, and it causes awkward chuckles to fill the air between you. you stop by a log and you sit, staring out at the ocean. you cross your legs and you look over at him to find his gaze still on the ocean. finally, it moves to you. “i’m sorry.” you both say it at the same time.
a sad smile settles onto your face and you look away. “you first,” he says.”
“i’m sorry.” you look at him again. “i’m not sorry for the way that i felt. i’m not sorry for hurting. but i am sorry that i lashed out. i was… angry.” you suck in a breath. “people who stayed… they’ll always carry the grief and the trauma of those five years. but the people who came back? we came back to a world that had moved on. i can’t… i can’t explain to you how hard that was. it wasn’t just you. i lost everything.” you shake your head. “i took it all out on you. all that hurt. and i’m sorry for that.”
felix nods his head. “i’m sorry that i wasn’t more understanding of what you were going through. that i just… cut you off.” he swallows. “i had five years to come to terms with the fact that you weren’t coming back. even when you were back, it almost felt… fake. like i was looking at a ghost.” he swallows. “but i missed you. i want you to know that i missed you, and i thought about you.”
a small smile works onto your face. “thanks.” you look towards the crowd, where people are laughing and dancing. “she seems great.”
felix looks over his shoulder. “she is. she keeps me… in check. i can be kind of an asshole. i don’t know how either of you dealt with me.” this makes you laugh and roll your eyes. “you and bucky barnes, huh?”
“i have you to thank for that.” he looks at you in confusion. “the building you recommended me? we were neighbors.” you smile, thinking back on the memory of bucky barnes at your door, asking if you needed help building your cat tower. “he is the best thing that has happened to me,” you say it with no hint of hesitation.
felix smiles. “he looks like he’s crazy about you. he barely looks anywhere else.”
you bite down on your lip. “yeah, i’ve heard that before.” the wind ruffles your hair slightly, and you look at felix and he looks at you. “i’ve spent a lot of time being angry at you. i don’t want to be angry anymore.”
he shakes his head. “i don’t want to either.” he pauses. “maybe… maybe, one day, the four of us could… you know, get dinner or something.”
“yeah,” you nod your head. “one day.” you stand, and he follows suit, and you look up at him. “thank you. for inviting me.”
“thank you for coming.”
there’s a level of awkwardness that rests between you, and you think that perhaps it’s inevitable. but also, you can’t help the sense of relief.
part of you thinks that he’s itching to hug you, and you may be extending some forgiveness tonight, but you’re certainly not there yet. you begin to walk towards the party. “c’mon. you need to go to your bride.”
when you return, you think bucky might be ready to drive his steak knife through his eye. you approach him from behind, wrapping your arms around his shoulder and bending so that your face is beside his. “miss me?”
he snorts. “you have no idea, doll.”
you watch as felix makes his way to carly, and you meet his eye. he gives you a slight nod and a knowing smile, and you return it.
there’s a weight that’s lifted off of your chest.
“c’mon,” you say to bucky, tugging him up. “we’re going to dance.”
he groans and you laugh, pulling him by the hands to the dance floor. just as you are, you make me feel so young begins to play around you. as you step onto the dance floor, you begin singing the words quietly to him. your dancing slows to a light sway, and in your ear, bucky begins murmuring the words to you.
your eyes flutter shut and a sweeping calm comes over you. “you know… i never thought i would get married. did you?”
bucky’s hands have a firm place on your waist. “i grew up in the forties. of course i thought i was going to get married,” you two spin slightly. “but, after everything… i didn’t think that was ever going to be in the cards for me.”
your breath catches. “and now?”
“now?” bucky asks into your ear. “i can only dream i get lucky enough to have you as my bride.”
your cheeks grow warm. “mrs. barnes…” you lean back to look at him. “has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”
the look on bucky’s face, you don’t know if you’ve ever seen that look before. “yes.” his voice is so firm it nearly brings you to your knees. “yes, it does.”
you two slow to a halt and bucky tilts your chin up. “guess i have some work to do,” his lips ghost over yours. “mrs. barnes.”
the world around you stops, and in that moment, it is only you and bucky. it is you and bucky at your ex’s wedding, and there is nowhere else you would want to be.
you’re beginning to understand why bucky likes making amends.
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