#Jungkook Fluff

[95rkives]

ᝰ.ᐟ lazy mornings with a clingy jungkook bc i miss him.

it’s early. too early. like, the kind of early that makes you groan and bury yourself deeper into the warmth of your blankets. but the problem is… jungkook is your blanket. and he’s not having it.

he’s pressed up against you, bare skin against bare skin, all warmth and muscle and soft sheets tangled between your legs. his arm is slung lazily around your waist, fingers tracing little patterns on your hip, his breath warm as he buries his face into the curve of your neck.

“baby,” he murmurs, voice all raspy and sleep-heavy, lips brushing over your skin. “wake up.”

you let out a tiny, sleepy whine, turning your head away from him, but he only chuckles, the sound deep and so smug, like he knows exactly what he’s doing. because, of course, he does.

his lips move slowly, pressing the softest, laziest kisses along your jaw, your shoulder, the back of your neck. “come on,” he whispers, his hand sliding over your stomach, fingers spreading over your ribs, warm and teasing. “don’t make me do something drastic.”

and ugh, he’s so annoying. but also, he feels so good. so solid and warm behind you, his lips sending tiny little shivers down your spine with each kiss. his hand moves again, fingertips just barely brushing under your breasts now, featherlight.

you suck in a breath. he grins against your skin.

“there you are,” he whispers, nipping at your earlobe, voice smug as ever. “good morning, my love.”

[dreamersparacosm]

jeon jungkook - off the record (part one)

part one ; breaking news and breaking points

warnings ; none!

prompt ; in which you’re paired with your insufferably charming ex-academic rival turned coworker to cover a congressional scandal, and suddenly, professional boundaries becomes the only thing holding you two apart.

note ; okay. hi. hello. me again! this authors note is going to be delirious because it is quite literally 2am as i edit this and i am shot. regardless — welcome to off the record! this is my baby. my child. my toddler who can’t walk or speak yet but the concept is there

let’s get one thing straight: i am NOT a politician. i do not work in politics, i do not enjoy american politics and i most certainly am no expert. i almost failed government in high school. i’m not sure of the accuracy of White House journalism but i do know one thing. i tried my very best!! so gold star for ang <3

anyway! welcome to the disaster. this is a rom-com, emphasis on the com because these two idiots are so deep in denial. we’re talking enemies-to-lovers, but in the “we’ve been rivals since college and now sit two rows apart at white house briefings” kind of way. grab some tea. snuggle your cat. scream into a pillow. idk, whatever works for you

playlist here

series masterlist here

The thing about White House press briefings is, if you don’t speak fast, Jeon Jungkook will.

And then you’ll have to watch his stupid little smirk on the screens in the newsroom all night while your editor asks why you didn’t ask the damn question.

You raise your hand, nearly leap out of your seat to deliver the inquiry you scribbled messily in the margins of your notepad. It’s something about a new federal rollout; dry on paper, but a minefield of public and private backdoor deals if you phrase it right. The question is halfway out of your mouth before—

“Secretary Thompson,” comes a voice from three rows back, “can you clarify whether the administration still plans to partner with private sector organizations despite last quarter’s concerns?”

Goddamnit.

You slump in your chair. Of course he gets there first.

It’s a clean question. Sharp. Subtle accusation wrapped in neutral intonation. The kind of question that makes cabinet members pause and choose their words very carefully, which Secretary Thompson now does, leaning forward and clearing her throat, visibly recalibrating.

You don’t have to turn around to know he’s sitting back in his chair like he owns the damn room. The entire Metro ride spent rehearsing that question, complete with dramatic pauses practiced between stops, has been hijacked by someone who waited until your mouth formed the first syllable before swooping in.

You turn slowly, against your better judgement. The muscles on your face achieve that special brand of neutrality that actually translates to: I'm mentally signing you up for a lifetime subscription to minor inconveniences. May your phone forever hover at 1% battery and may your socks perpetually slip down inside your shoes.

Three rows behind sits the human embodiment of your nightmares, looking like he just won a gold medal in the sport of Question Sniping, expression carrying a level of smugness you want to smack right off his face. And like, yeah, it’s fine that he beat you to the punch but you’re oddly impressed by how effortlessly he did it.

He’s sporting a black suit with no tie. Because heaven forbid he follow even the most basic protocols of professionalism. Elbow slung across the chair next to him like this is a casual Monday coffee run and not a federal media gauntlet. He’s already relaxing in his seat like he didn’t just outflank you in broad daylight.

He grins at you from across the pressroom, a perfect display of professionally whitened teeth that makes you contemplate the legality of throwing your pen across the room.

Disgusting.

You whip your head back to the front before you commit a felony in front of a sitting cabinet member. Immediately, you’re pulling your phone out of your back pocket, opening up iMessage.

Okay, count to ten. One, two, three…

Mentally, you’re trying to imagine your therapist's voice saying something about "workplace appropriate responses to colleagues” (although your therapist has never met Jeon Jungkook and is therefore woefully unprepared to provide relevant advice in this situation.)

Physically, your jaw tightens with the force of some unspoken comeback.

He always does this.

And the worst part isn't just that his strategy works consistently, or that Secretary Thompson is now giving a rehearsed answer that will yield exactly one (1) usable quote for his article; it's that microscopic part of you that recognizes the brilliance of his approach.

You learned this the hard way four years ago, during your very first White House press briefing fresh out of Columbia University, notepad filled with questions you’d rewritten five different times, trying not to sweat through your blouse because Jeon Jungkook was five seats away.

You hadn’t seen him since graduation. Not since he walked off that stage behind you; second in your class, already being courted by every network with a pulse. You’d hoped that being hired at competing outlets might mean distance. Space to build your career without having to look over your shoulder every time you submitted a story.

No such luck.

He was already there when you entered the briefing room for the first time. Already seated, sporting that annoying smile when he spotted you in the doorway.

You still remember the way his voice cut through the room like it belonged there. Just the right amount of bite to make the congressman answering the question squirm. It wasn’t even a bad question, but it was sharp enough to make everyone sit up, and that was the point when playing with American politics.

One doesn’t need to be liked. They need to be remembered.

You’d raised your hand right after. You were so determined not to let him win the room that you misread the energy entirely. And when the mic came to you, you fumbled. It wasn’t with the content — you’d done your research, you always did — but with the delivery. You were trying so hard to seem composed, to prove you deserved to be there, that your voice went flat. You didn’t breathe between sentences or really pace the question.

And the congressman, an older man with a short temper and a penchant for being rattled, cut you off mid-sentence. He waved a hand like you were a mosquito buzzing too close to his ear.

“Get to the point please,” He’d said, clearly annoyed.

You had, but the damage was done.

And Jungkook? He didn't even need to smirk — a restraint that somehow made his victory all the more infuriating. He just leaned forward, elbows on knees, lips pressed in a neutral line. But you knew him well enough to spot the amusement hiding in his eyes. He didn't look directly at you because that would've been too obvious, too much like admitting that this little press room dance of yours is his favorite form of foreplay, which is precisely the kind of vulnerability neither of you would ever confess to even under the influence of truth serum.

Either way, Jungkook never needs to gloat out loud. He just waits for you to see that he saw.

That’s how it started. The silent, deadly, professional tug-of-war that is probably so entertaining for onlookers that the White House should start selling tickets.

Four years later and nothing’s changed — except now you’ve learned how to play the game too. How to keep your voice calm, how to pace your brain, how to smile like a threat. You studied your opponents playbook until the pages wore thin.

So you sit there, pen poised, chin high, and let Secretary Thompson drone on for another minute while the reporters around you settle. Jungkook is probably lounging in the back like the cocky bastard he is, no doubt smiling like a motherfucker.

When the next lull in her sentence comes, you speak.

“Madam Secretary, given the administration’s recent walkback on infrastructure spending and the pivot toward incentivizing private sector, can you clarify what measures are in place for companies receiving federal subsidies, especially those with prior violations?”

The room stills like a sitcom freeze frame, where some narrator would quip "it was at this moment they knew..." as your question hangs in the air.

Thompson blinks twice. And then, to everyone’s surprise including your own, she smiles; it’s a genuine reaction, not the wide campaign-trail grin but the subtle acknowledgment that screams, finally, a real question from someone who did their homework instead of skimming the briefing notes.

She answers in detail. All lengthy and thoughtful and some political jargon you’re jotting in your notepad like a madman. Meanwhile your chest burns with the sweet, silent glow of victory, something your overachieving soul has been chasing since you color-coded your first set of flash cards in elementary school.

You know it’s there before you see it — Jungkook’s gaze.

There will be no swiveling of your neck to face him because turning would mean acknowledging, and acknowledging would mean giving away a fraction of this perfect moment; you don't need visual confirmation when you can practically feel him watching, probably chewing the inside of his cheek with that nervous habit he thinks nobody notices, calculating how he missed this angle while the room leans forward collectively, listening harder now than they were during his question.

God, it is tempting, though.

Just one glance. One raised brow. Maybe even a middle finger held discreetly under your notepad.

But you’re better than that.

…Mostly.

Still, the corner of your mouth twitches microscopically.

Game on, Jeon. Let’s see who wins this round.

The next thirty minutes go by just like this:

You raise your hand to try and get another question in, he mirrors you half a second later.

You jot down a quote, he glances up like he’s writing the same one faster.

You whisper something to the correspondent next to you, and he makes a point to become the world’s friendliest man.

By the time the briefing wraps, your notepad is full, your recorder has thirty solid minutes of good material, and your blood pressure is only slightly elevated — which you’re going to count as a win. Secretary Thompson gives her usual nod, the press secretary calls it and the room begins to scatter in that chaotic shuffle unique to people who have five minutes to rewrite a headline before someone else beats them to it.

You pack up, shoving pens and postits and a mildly passive-aggressive question list into your leather tote. It’s not like you’re in a rush. You’ve got what you need. Jenna — your editor, manager, queen of never being impressed — will actually be pleased for once. Last week she told you your questions were “good, not great” which you’ve translated to mean “where’s the political bloodshed?” But today, you’ve got enough edge to headline the next two cycles.

You’re halfway to the exit, steps quick against the marble floor, when you hear it—

Shoes.

Nice ones. Expensive, but already too broken-in to be new.

And they’re moving quickly like the fire alarm just went off.

Your eyes don’t have to spare a look. Your spine already knows who it is.

You sigh, adjusting the strap of your bag higher on your shoulder, and keep walking. If you ignore him long enough, he might combust from the lack of attention.

“Smooth question.”

You blink up at the hallway ahead of you. What was that counting trick you were doing earlier? Oh, right.. four, five, six....

A sigh heaves from the depths of your lungs. Quite loudly it echoes off the walls.

“Jungkook.” you begin, not slowing your pace, “If I wanted your opinion, I’d ask the intern to print it out and shred it for recycling.”

He laughs at that amusedly.

“Come on,” he retorts, falling into step beside you now, “You stole my topic and framed it better. That was… mildly impressive.”

You glance at him out of the corner of your eye. He’s got his press badge tucked half into his blazer pocket like it’s too cool to wear properly, and the top button of his shirt is now undone.

“Oh no,” you deadpan. “Mildly impressive? Should I frame that statement and hang it next to my degree? My… valedictorian degree, perhaps?”

He leans in, a little too close for comfort. “Don’t worry. Mine’s right behind yours.”

You bite back a smile that threatens to show face. “And don’t you forget it.”

“You know, you’re lucky I didn’t ask a second question just to steal the narrative out from under you,” Jungkook sticks his hands in his pockets, pulling out a packet of gum.

Your eyes roll back into your frontal lobe, “Oh, I’m counting on it. Watching you try to top yourself is half the fun.”

Your feet betray you before you have a chance to stop them, and they stop walking, finally turn to face him. “Are you like this with everyone? I’m starting to get a little flattered.”

He looks at you for a second longer than you like. No smirk this time, just that stillness he gets when he’s thinking. Or, worse… he’s about to be really, really honest.

He shrugs, pops the gum in his mouth, smile creeping back into place like it never left. “Nah,” he’s already walking backwards toward the exit. “You’re the only one who bites back.”

His body disappears into the hallway crowd as if he knows exactly when to exit a scene, melting into the Washington ecosystem of power suits, security earpieces, and polished shoes on marble.

Jeon Jungkook is an insufferable bastard — one of the best-of-breed kind of bastards, possibly the best one you’ve ever had the pleasure (or displeasure, depending on the angle) of going to school with. Decidedly not bad on the eyes, which is unfortunate. Counterproductive, really. Because it’s hard to maintain a healthy level of hatred toward someone when their jawline could headline a fashion campaign and their smirks come pre-loaded with cinematic timing.

And yet, somehow, you manage.

Ever since freshman year when he walked into your public policy seminar and had the audacity to sit in the front row — the seat you always took, the one closest to the professor, the one with the best lighting for scribbling down notes. He didn’t even glance at you when he took it.

You clashed immediately. Over literally everything. Theories and tone and comma placement. Who should’ve been chosen to moderate the midterm debate and who had more credible citations in their annotated bibliography. You can’t even remember the first real argument anymore; all you know is it escalated quickly, something about a poorly formatted slide deck and a long-winded tangent on federalism that he thought was charming and you thought were grounds for expulsion.

To your luck, that turned into this.

Into years of mutual loathing, thinly veiled behind professional respect that makes your coworkers say things like “you two should interview a senator together!” while you fantasize about pushing him down a flight of stairs and then writing his obituary out of spite.

You can’t describe your relationship with Jungkook without sounding emotionally unstable. It’s not just because he got that one A+ in International Relations. It’s not some awkward sexual tension. It’s whatever exists in that middle ground between admiration and provocation.

Listen, you recognize his intelligence. He definitely recognizes your ambition. He’s just always been naturally, effortlessly good. Jungkook doesn’t have to rehearse or over-prepare or go through mental flowcharts in the mirror before a press event.

And the only thing worse than someone who always competes with you is someone who doesn’t have to.

That’s what always gets you. You’ve spent your entire career building scaffolding around every step forward and you are nothing if not methodical. And then he waltzes in with gel in his hair and throws out a line you write down immediately to send to Jenna.

You push the briefing room door open with your hip and walk in, tote clutched tightly.

Emma doesn’t look up. Her fingers are flying over her laptop, nails clacking against keys in short bursts of aggression. Brows furrowed, glasses slipping slightly down her nose, and her tongue is poking between her teeth the way it always does.

“Any luck?” you ask, grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl that you’re 98% sure was only restocked because Emma guilt-tripped the White House kitchen staff with that one story she wrote about USDA budget cuts and “the symbolic death of the American apple.”

She grunts in response, closing her laptop quickly and swiveling to face you in her chair.

You bite into the apple, placing your heavy bag down on the floor beside your desk, which is conveniently always placed next to hers.

“How was Jungkook today?” She asks casually as if it’s not one of the most emotionally loaded questions a person can be asked. It’s a routine part of your dynamic at this point. Morning coffee, afternoon sarcasm, and one post-briefing debrief where Emma asks you how Jungkook was, and you pretend he wasn’t Jungkook.

“Obnoxious,” you shrug instantly. “Duh.”

Emma snorts while you continue on, rotating your apple to take another bite. “He was wearing this stupid smile today. I lowkey feel like he was more smug than normal.“

Emma hums knowingly. “That’s your favorite one.”

You ignore that. Just Emma being Emma.

“And of course,” you exhale, “he asked my question.”

That gets her attention.

She scoots her chair toward you slowly, like she’s gearing up for the best tea of her life. “Wait. The question? The one about partnering with private sector organizations?”

“The very one,” You sigh dramatically.

Emma gasps, places a hand over her chest. “He didn’t.”

“Oh, but he did,” you say, taking another bite of your apple, chewing long enough to build suspense. “Fell for it and beat me to it by two seconds.“

She clutches her heart like she’s just witnessed a murder. “War criminal. Both you and him.”

“It’s fine,” you snicker to yourself. “Took the bait like always. Already texted it to Jenna.“

So… there’s this minor (major) thing you do that if anyone finds out, you’re absolutely getting the boot off the Hill. You leave notes around the newsrooms with concepts that you plan to ask at the press briefings and your initials on the paper, and when Jungkook inevitably picks one up and asks them, you send the answer to Jenna. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Emma groans and throws her head back, dark brown hair cascading down her shoulders. “God, how do you come up with this? It’s diabolical.”

“I know.”

“You’re evil.”

“I know.”

She looks at you, tilts her neck, considers. “One of these days I’m gonna get it out of you… why you hate him so much. I swear to god, if the White House ever releases security cam footage, it’s over for you.”

You scoff, leaning against your desk. “Because he’s annoying.. and arrogant and—”

There’s a pause while your narrow your eyes like you’re compiling a legal case. “He’s allergic to shirts that fit.”

Emma just blinks at you.

“It’s not complicated,” You wave her off.

“Mmm,” she says unconvinced, already spinning back toward her laptop. “Sure. Not complicated. That’s exactly what people say before saying something really complicated.”

You flip her off.

She blows you a kiss, raising her watered-down iced latte as a toast, “I wish you a very get well soon.”

It’s nice having Emma. Someone who gets it. She was the only one who didn’t blink when you got hired straight out of school, the only one who didn’t second guess it when you worked your way into every White House event rotation. She never asks why you work late or why your standards are too high.

Emma’s seen you at your most terrifying and your most tired and knows they’re usually the same thing.

You finish your apple, toss the core into the bin, and stretch your neck. You’ve got a headline to punch up, an editor to impress, and a man to destroy.

Before you even have a chance to settle into your uncomfortable chair, Jenna, woman of the hour, bursts into the room like she’s just outrun a breaking news alert.

She’s breathless, auburn hair slightly windblown like she sprinted down the hall, which she probably did — Jenna’s never walked a day in her life. She’s powered exclusively by the adrenaline of publishing scoops before Politico can even spellcheck theirs.

“There you are!” she gasps, practically skidding to a stop beside your desk. Almost like you’ve been playing hide-and-seek instead of sitting where you’re supposed to be.

Emma startles, half-spilling her iced latte.

You don’t even look up from computer that you just rebooted on to life. “Hello to you too, Jenna. Everything okay?”

“Better than okay.” She’s already tossing her phone onto the nearest desk, face alight with manic glee that usually only happens when your publication beats everyone else to the punch. “We published first. That question you texted me. I’m already having it run the evening slot with a featured quote box and a goddamn infographic. Do you know how rare infographics are on pieces like this?”

Emma perks up immediately. “Infographics?”

“Motion animated ones. And it’s outperforming by like 400%. Who fed him that question? I know that was you. Don’t lie to me, you little minx.” Jenna’s eyes are sparkling, hazel flecks in her eyes popping out more than normal.

You blink at her, expression calm, the exact opposite of the excitement living beneath your ribs. “Hm. Was it me?”

“Was it?” Jenna nearly falls over the desk. “You literally texted it to me two seconds after he opened his mouth so I have my suspicions. I watched the tapes back.”

You shrug, sipping from your water bottle. “What can I say? Quick fingers. Predictable men.”

Jenna stares at you. “I don’t know how you do it.”

“Well, I have noticed… if I leave a well-worded, question lying within reach, he’ll take it. Should I be reporting him?” Your degree was in Political Science, but right now, it’s sounding a lot more like Lying.

Emma coughs on her coffee. “Oh my god.”

“He delivers it perfectly. He never even changes the phrasing!! Almost like he wants me to know he found it,” You mimic a toddler who got pushed on the playground, all false petulance.

Jenna groans, facepalming. “Jesus, that’s terrifying. Worse than finding out you’re doing it on purpose.”

Emma gapes and plays along with it, your trusty sidekick. “He’s using you like a human press puppet.”

You smile. “Whatever. I got the best answer out of Secretary Thompson today anyway.”

You’re not wrong. Not entirely. In fact, you’re opening up Google Docs as you speak to start typing before any person beats you to the punch.

“Well,” Jenna begins, “Great job today.”

Mission accomplished.

Despite everything, you’re pretty pleased with yourself. Emma’s shoulders sag a little with those three words, though you hardly notice.

You sit back in your chair, fingers hovering over your keyboard.

Another question, another quote, another game won.

It’s not cheating. It’s journalism, baby.

Later that night, the building hums like it’s finally exhaled after holding its breath all day, kind of peaceful in the way only Capitol Hill can be when it’s past five and most of the egos have gone home. The usual bustle has evaporated into a familiar sound of click-clacking keyboards and the hum of vending machines that will forever only take singles.

You’re probably the only person left. Well. You and Jenna. But Jenna doesn’t really count — you swear to god she pays rent here.

She exists in this windowless purgatory like it’s her personal loft. Her desk is still lit, hair up in a claw clip. There’s a cold coffee sweating beside her keyboard and an unopened granola bar that’s been sitting there since at least noon. Her coat is slung over the back of her chair in a way that implies she might leave. News flash: she won’t.

Meanwhile you’re cross-referencing quote attributions for the day’s coverage when it hits.

Ping.

You barely register it at first. Just another email in the never-ending trickle of nonsense from Washington’s most noisy inbox.

But the subject line awakens something in you, jolts you back onto earth after being a zombie for the past three hours.

From: pressroom@cnnpolitics.com

Subject: URGENT — CONFIRMED LEAK: Rep. Monroe / Rep. Delgado

Your heart skips and then sprints to catch up. You open the email, trepidation bleeding into your every movement like it might bite. Skimming it at first glance, you see a bunch of buzz words: late night, caught, office, intern.

And then you're up out of your chair like you spotted free coffee in the break room before anyone else, your demeanor shattered by what's glowing on your screen.

“Jenna.”

No answer comes from your editor, who's apparently developed selective hearing after years of people bringing her stories that are "definitely going to change everything."

“Jenna!”

Her chair swivels, eyes already squinting. “What.” she says, less a question and more a verbal eyeroll.

You motion her over. She groans, wheels her chair two feet, and reads over your shoulder.

She doesn’t speak for a full five seconds, a silence so profound you’re starting to think you misinterpreted the email.

“Holy shit.”

Your head bobs up and down once. “Yeah.”

Both of you stand. Stare at the screen like the text might dissolve if you blink. The email is brief but pretty brutal. Something about a late-night vote hold, a closed-door committee session, and Monroe being seen leaving Delgado’s office at 1:43 a.m. by a very chatty intern with no understanding of political discretion. It’s like the equivalent of catching Romeo leaving Juliet’s balcony.

“Please tell me we’re already writing this,” Jenna breathes, pulling her phone out and typing. “Tell me we’re not about to get scooped.”

You’re already closing your laptop. “We’re not. I just got this a minute ago.”

“Crap, okay,” she undoes her claw clip, runs a hand through her tangled locks. “You think NBC and Fox got word too?”

“Probably,” You tuck your laptop into your bag. “But… we can figure out what the other teams are saying. If you’re game for it.”

There’s a knowing look you two share, an unspoken understanding that comes from years of working in close quarters.

Just like that, with only a few words shared, you’re both gone — shoulders brushing in the hallway, shoes scuffing in sync as you pass the security desk and head toward the press rooms. Tiny, overcrowded hives filled with correspondents from neighboring organizations who all know something but never enough, all refreshing Twitter, all waiting for the official statement that will inevitably say nothing and everything at once.

You pass two staffers whispering near the elevator, some dude pretending not to be texting frantically in the corner, and a communications intern standing so still you’re not sure if he’s waiting for an answer or just buffering.

Walk faster, you repeat to yourself. No shot you’re losing this battle.

This is it. Every correspondent’s wet dream. The moment when instinct meets information. When knowing the right people and knowing how to read them becomes everything.

Fortunately, you’re good at this. Like, really good at this.

Jenna tugs on your arm as you turn a corner.

“Remember what I said in March?” she mutters. “I told you, these senators get more scandalous by the second.”

“Well, yeah, but that was about the comms director’s divorce and a broken espresso machine,” You remind her.

“Still counts.”

A grin is suppressed from your face. Technically, it is true. In this building, nothing stays quiet for long. Rumors and gossip spread quicker than a high school hallway.

Even though CNN is the top news source in the world — objectively, indisputably, and according to your network’s annual conference PowerPoint — your rivals over at Fox, NBC, and a handful of other outlets you don’t care to name are often your best sources.

Everyone loves to talk and you adore talkers.

The Hill is built on whispers, and your favorite kind of people are the ones who don’t know how to keep secrets in the same breath they use to ask for anonymity. There’s something about long hours and winding hallways that makes people careless with information. Or maybe it’s the sense of power, that euphoric high of having access to things you shouldn’t, stories that haven’t broken yet.

Right now, you’re chasing one of them.

You and Jenna waltz into the Fox press room like you own it (which you don’t, but that’s never stopped you before.)

It’s mostly empty, except for a few people quietly panicking over the situation in that journalist way where they sit very still while their eyes scream.

It’s a solemn few feet of space, lit by flickering fluorescents and decorated with the same kind of soul-crushing government chairs that squeak if you so much as fart. Someone left a takeout container open on one of the desks and you do your best not to inhale near it.

A quick glance of the room tells you all you need to know and then, to your dismay — you see him.

Jungkook.

Hunched over his laptop at the far end of the room like he’s doing important work but probably just rereading something you published earlier to find holes in it. His blazer from the briefing is gone, slung somewhere out of sight, white dress shirt rolled up to the elbows, sleeves creased and casual and — God help you — revealing the tattoos on his right arm.

You’ve only seen it a handful of times. Most people on the Hill haven’t seen it at all. It’s not exactly Capitol dress code.

But he’s Jeon Jungkook so rules were always more like suggestions when it came to him.

Whatever. Not what you came here for. You focus on his colleague, Sana. She’s sharp as hell, desk always covered in four phones and three half-charged battery packs.

Most of the time, you like her. She’s blunt. She doesn’t pretend to like you more than she does, and she gives enough if you know how to ask.

“Sana,” You say, all business-like, sliding into her personal space like this is a casual catch-up and not an intel sweep. Jenna lingers behind you like a henchwoman.

Sana glances up and sighs. “What now?”

“Looking for background on Monroe and Delgado,” You busy yourself with your nail beds, pretending to be focused on the fact that your polish is chipping slightly.

“I know that’s not true,” she says, still typing. “You never ask for background. You ask for the stuff that makes our lawyers sweat.”

You smile, full canines on display. “Come on. You know I’d never get you sued. Fired, maybe.”

“Not funny.”

“A little funny.”

Sana rolls her eyes. “What do you want?”

You’re about to lean in with the next carefully worded ask when he speaks.

“You could just ask me, you know,” comes Jungkook’s voice from the corner of the room.

You don’t dare turn around.

Begrudgingly, you sigh, loud enough for him to hear. “Didn’t realize you were qualified to speak on matters you didn’t fabricate.”

Behind you, Jenna snorts.

Jungkook doesn’t miss a beat.

“You wound me,” he fires back. You can smell the sarcasm in his voice. “Especially after I gifted you that question earlier.”

You spin your body slowly to glance at him. He’s already looking at you, fingers paused over his keyboard, head tilted, one brow raised like he’s genuinely curious how you’ll respond.

Sometimes he does this. Pretends you’re having a conversation when you’re in the middle of ignoring him. Like he’s the main character and you’re just the supporting plot that hasn’t fallen for his clown act yet.

“I’d say thank you,” you retort, “but I think you’re confusing mediocrity for generosity.”

His mouth twitches, doesn't quite reach his eyes but manages to rattle something in your chest like a perfectly aimed pebble against a window, making noise without breaking glass.

“Well,” he stretches slightly in his chair, ink on his arm catching the overhead light, “I guess we’re both useful to each other, aren’t we?”

Verbally, there’s no response you can come up with. Almost like you’re trying to capture a complex emotion with an emoji.

He refuses to look away from you. All you can muster up is meeting his gaze, forcing your eyes not to back down from his own deep brown ones.

Which is stupid and arrogant of him.

And deeply, profoundly annoying.

One day, you’ll create a PowerPoint presentation documenting all the reasons he should be knocked down several pegs.

But, also, he’s kind of—

No.

No, not going there.

You turn back to Sana, who’s watching the whole exchange with the vaguely interested expression of someone who’s seen this movie before.

“Anyway,” you say, tone firm, “back to the real work.”

Jungkook chuckles under his breath sadistically.

Sana raises a brow. She adjusts her posture, closes out of whatever she was doing, and gives you that look. Sneaky one, might you add.

Jenna settles into the empty seat next to Sana with a soft thunk, all amusement and quiet observation, as if she’s pulled up to a live podcast and knows better than to interrupt the good part.

You lean in just a little, palms firmly planted down on her desk.

“You’ve always had great instincts,” you begin sweetly, “Way better than that guy over at NBC who thinks ‘no comment’ is an acceptable answer. And honestly? You’re usually two steps ahead of everyone in this room, including me.”

Sana’s face falls flat. “Flattery’s not free.”

“I’m just stating facts,” you reply, twirling your hair around your finger. “But if you happened to know anything about where Monroe actually was during the vote delay, and with who, and if that info happened to fall into my lap by accident…”

She taps her desk once.

You pause for dramatic effect. Jenna says nothing.

You know it’s working. Cross your heart and hope to die, Sana’s resolve is softening enough to consider it. This is the rhythm you’ve lived and died by for the past four years: collect the whispers, push at the edges, find the person who wants to feel a little important, and let them talk.

You hear the chair scrape before the words follow.

“Okay, you’re scalping her,” Jungkook says flatly, rising from his area like he’s decided to intervene on moral grounds — which is rich, considering he spent last week casually rephrasing your own coverage on-air without blinking.

You don’t even bat an eyelash in his direction.

“Boohoo,” you briefly flip through your mental Rolodex of dismissive expressions, “call the ethics board, Jeon.”

You hear his footsteps. He’s walking over like someone about to cut the red wire, like this is a bomb he’s been called in to defuse.

“Seriously,” he now stands a few feet away, arms crossed, that infuriatingly amused expression plastered across his stupidly symmetrical face. “You’ve got her in a journalistic chokehold. It’s not even subtle.”

You peer over at him and flutter your lashes innocently. “You’d prefer subtle? That’s funny, coming from the guy who once baited a senator with free Red Bull to confirm a time stamp.”

“That was different.”

“That was illegal.”

“It was unofficial.”

You scoff. “Right. Just like your fact-checking process.”

Jenna leans her chin on her fist and sighs. “Hereeee we go.”

Sana barely spares a look up. “Can you two keep it down? Some of us are trying to break a government scandal before midnight.”

Your lips are formed tightly in a line. “I’m so sorry. He just follows me everywhere.”

“This is literally the Fox pressroom.” Jungkook spits out automatically.

“And yet somehow I’m more valuable here than you are.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

You turn fully now, squaring your shoulders like this is war and he just stepped onto your side of the trench. He’s close enough that you can smell his cologne — something citrusy and woodsy that makes your thoughts inconveniently disorganized. Jaw set in that infuriating way it does when he thinks he’s being reasonable.

“You know,” he tilts his head slightly, “at some point, you’re gonna run out of tricks.”

“Jungkook, you still fall for all of them.”

Sana mutters something about noise levels.

There’s a smile on your face you do not mean. Jungkook’s watching you intently now, clearly waiting for the moment you lose your cool, which you won’t. You don’t lose your cool. That’s your thing. Your signature move. You’re composed, unbothered if you will.

If the others are tired of it? Too damn bad.

Both of you will continue to respectfully decline to flinch first.

“You’re exhausting,” he says, half-laughing, which would be charming if it weren’t directed at you.

“Good,” you snap, “I hope it costs you sleep.”

“I’ve started taking a higher dose of melatonin to account for that.”

Luckily, before you can retaliate with something that will absolutely haunt you in the shower later, Jenna cuts in, phone screen brightly illuminating her face. “Guys…?”

Neither of you turn. You’re in this weird standoff. First one to look away loses.

She’s louder this time. “Um. Guys?”

“What?” You and Jungkook say in unison, like children caught throwing hands in the sandbox.

She blinks at her iPhone once, then twice, and stands slowly, holding her phone out like it might spontaneously detonate.

“I just got the alert,” she swallows deeply. “CNN got invited to a press pool.”

The room stills. Nothing has technically changed, yet somehow everything feels different, like the universe just rearranged its furniture while no one was looking.

You snatch the phone from her hand without a second thought, scanning the email with speed, stomach already dropping because you know what this means.

Fox. NBC. CNN. Wall Street Journal. Pool assignment. Limited access. Confidential source briefings. Strict cooperation protocol.

Jungkook steps closer to read over your shoulder, and you can feel his body heat like a threat. You edge away out of pure spite.

Sana exhales, “Oh, that’s gonna be fun.”

“No,” you murmur, half to her and half to God, “it’s not.”

Jenna sits back down, hand outstretched waiting for her phone back, probably mentally forwarding the email to your entire team with ten exclamation points and the subject line ‘URGENT: PRESS POOL.’

But all your brain can focus on is the last line of the memo: PRESS POOL ASSIGNMENTS WILL BE FINALIZED BY MORNING.

You swallow, jaw setting in place. Currently, you’re trying not to imagine the absolute hell of being locked into a room with Jungkook and being expected to collaborate. Or even worse, share credit.

Press pools are the bane of your entire existence. It’s lazy reporting dressed up in exclusivity, a dog and pony show where no one’s allowed to ask real questions, just “coordinate coverage” and “represent their outlet professionally,” which basically means sit down, shut up, and don’t make your network look like a dick.

It also may have a tiny, minuscule detail to it that you deject everytime; it’s always you and Jungkook they send. The two best damn correspondents on the Hill, which everyone knows, even if they pretend they don’t. You’re the ones they trust to get the job done. To ask the things no one else will.

And that would be flattering — if it didn’t mean getting locked in a room with him, breathing the same recirculated air, trading quotes and knowing exactly which angle he’s going to try and spin. It’s not a compliment anymore. It’s a punishment dressed up in prestige.

Now — if you’ve read that email right (and you have, because you always do) — you’re going to have to share that twenty minute slot with the one man on Earth who treats interviews and policy like some sick game.

You lower the phone slowly, handing it back to Jenna in a daze.

Jenna looks at you, eyes gleaming. “If it makes you feel better, this is gonna be amazing for us.”

“Who’s us?”

You’re already praying for divine intervention. Or a natural disaster. Or a scheduling conflict. Or a press badge malfunction. Literally anything but this.

Really, there should be no surprise when Jenna is showcasing a small smile on her face, the words already forming on the tip of her lip-glossed tongue.

You beat her to it. “Let me guess. You’re going to ask me to go.”

She blinks, then nods sweetly, too sweetly for your liking.

“I mean,” she says, clasping her hands, “you’re the sharpest we’ve got. You’re strategic. Respected on both sides of the aisle—”

“C’mon, I’ve gone to every single one. Can you please send Emma?” You may as well get on your knees and beg at this point.

Jenna disregards that completely.

“I want you to own the scandal,” she corrects, beaming now. “Control the narrative. Just, you know… professionally.“

You roll your eyes so hard you see your own childhood trauma. Turning to Sana, you’re already half-defeated.

“Thanks for your help,” you sigh, giving her a nod. “And for not actively reporting me to HR during that conversation.”

She shrugs her shoulders. “It was close.”

You’re halfway out the door, already planning what stress snack you’re going to inhale before opening a shared Google Doc with 45 other correspondents when it happens.

“See you Thursday, then. Three o’clock.”

You freeze. Actually, scratch that. You malfunction.

Your body halts so fast you nearly swing into the doorframe. You swivel on your heel, well aware of how the universe personally loves to torment you.

Jeon Jungkook is smiling, cheek to cheek.

He’s leaned back in his own chair now, one leg crossed over the other like he’s settling into a fireside chat, phone lifted lazily in the air, Gmail open and illuminating.

You can only assume his own boss forwarded the press pool email to him. God isn’t exactly subtle when he wants you to suffer.

“They letting just anybody in now?” You muster up the insult.

He shakes his head. “Didn’t even have to ask. Must be fate.”

No part of you falters. You stare at him. “Or a curse. It’s also not even confirmed yet, dimwit.”

“I don’t make the rules,” He raises his hands in mock defeat, and somehow you know that’s a lie. You’re almost certain he knew this was coming and bribed someone.

Jenna pats you on the back as she walks past. “Think of it as a growth opportunity.”

You glance at her like she just told you to do trust falls into oncoming traffic. “I don’t want a growth opportunity. I want a restraining order.”

Jungkook hums solemnly. “You’ll miss me.”

“Like a migraine,” You quip.

You step into the hallway and exhale, followed by a brief intermission where you regret every life decision that led you here.

A few distant feet away, Jungkook calls out all bright and cheerful, like this is a fun little reunion instead of your personal hell, “Should I bring the talking points or are we winging it like last time?”

Not a fiber in your body stops. You just keep walking, steps fast, fury simmering beneath the surface like a pot that’s about to boil over.

Of course you’ll be stuck sharing air and quotes and probably a goddamn printer with him.

Like you said, press pools… bane of your entire existence.

masterlist + ask

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[ggukivrse]

the art of pretending – jjk | 02

summary. when you and jungkook show up to your much anticipated graduation trip and realise neither of you had the guts to tell your friends about your recent break up, there’s only one thing you can do to keep the trip from falling apart: pretend.

but somewhere between fake kisses and real feelings, you start to wonder if letting go was ever the right choice at all.

pairing: jeon jungkook x f!reader

genre/warnings: exes to lovers, fake dating, idiots to lovers, mutual pining, angst, fluff, (eventual) explicit sexual content, swearing, alcohol consumption, ft. seokjin, namjoon, hoseok, jimin, taehyung, yoongi + four female ocs

word count: 4.9k

notes: i dunno how to feel about this chapter, but at least it’s something for you guys loll. also if you can’t tell, i’m horrible with pacing so if it feels like too much of a fast burn i’m so sorry 😖 feedback, likes, comments, reblogs and asks are so so appreciated. enjoy reading my angels <3

< prev • next > | series masterlist | main masterlist

⤷ chapter two — broken cd

don’t think i’m over it / like i always said i was / like a broken cd / that plays on repeat

You shove the key into the door and twist hard, your shoulder still sore from hauling your overloaded backpack up the stairs. It's just one floor, but with the way the straps dug into your skin and your pride refused to let Jungkook help, it might as well have been Everest.

The door creaks open, hinges sticking slightly before giving way.

Amber light spills into the room — warm and rich, the kind of sunset that makes everything look softer than it is. The windows are massive, the glass thrown open to the breeze and the sound of waves crashing in the distance. You turn around to look out the door from the foot of your bed, and from here, you can see the ocean glowing gold under the falling sun, lazy and endless.

It smells like salt and clean sheets and something faintly citrus, probably the resort’s idea of a luxury air freshener.

And right in the middle of the room, unmissable and offensively neat, is one bed.

One.

You don’t even pretend to hide your sigh. “Great,” you mutter, dropping your backpack with a heavy thud. “A single bed. Very romantic.”

Behind you, Jungkook snorts. “What, you suddenly shy?” He brushes past, setting his duffel bag down with way less drama than you did. “I’ve literally been inside you. You’ll survive.”

You don’t laugh.

You don’t even look at him.

Instead, you stare at the bed. At the way the light hits the perfectly smooth duvet. At the two pillows, side by side. Like it was made for a couple. Like it was made for you and him.

He notices your silence, eventually.

“Too far?” he asks, voice low.

You shrug. “Just wasn’t that funny.”

He doesn't say anything for a moment, just shifts his weight and runs a hand through his hair like he’s suddenly remembered this whole thing is supposed to be an act. That you’re not really his anymore.

And maybe that’s what stings — the anymore.

You sit on the edge of the bed, bouncing once. It’s too soft. Too quiet. Too intimate.

You glance at him out of the corner of your eye. His jaw’s tight. He’s not looking at you.

There was a time you thought you’d marry him. That you were going to. You’d even gotten your nails done that week, like a fucking idiot.

You blink hard and look away before that memory can settle in your chest like it always does. Instead, you clear your throat and force yourself to speak like you’re not sitting inside the echo of what used to be.

“I’ll take the left side,” you say, voice flat.

Jungkook doesn’t even pause. “I figured.”

Of course he did. He always remembers.

You glance at the bed for a beat longer, then push yourself back up and move toward the window. The floorboards creak slightly under your steps, but the rest of the room stays still.

Outside, the sun is sinking lower, streaking the sky with deep amber and dusky pink. You fold your arms across your chest as the breeze brushes against your skin, cooling the leftover heat from the hike up the stairs.

You can hear muffled laughter from a nearby cabin — familiar voices, the clink of bottles. It’s already starting. The unwinding. The pretending. And you're still up here, wondering how the hell this is going to work.

“We should figure out how we’re doing this,” Jungkook says behind you.

You don’t look at him. “You want to map out how to play house again like it’s some group project?”

There’s a beat of silence before he responds. “I just think... if we’re doing this, we should at least figure out the basics.”

You scoff under your breath. “Basics. Right.”

As if you haven’t already been there. Like you didn’t build the foundation, the walls, the goddamn roof of your relationship from scratch with him, only to watch him walk out before it could become a home.

He shifts again, and you hear the slight squeak of the mattress as he adjusts his weight on the edge of the bed. “I know you don’t want to be doing this,” he says softly. “But no killing me in my sleep, okay?”

You finally turn to look at him. “I can’t make any promises.”

His mouth twitches, almost a smile. But not quite. “Yeah. Fair.”

You don’t say anything to that. You just watch him — how he can’t seem to hold your gaze for more than a few seconds. How his fingers keep twitching like he wants to be doing something with them.

He used to always touch you when he got like this. Knee against yours, hand slipping into your hair, thumb brushing your wrist. It’s weird seeing all that nervous energy go nowhere now.

“Look,” he says eventually, “if it helps, we don’t have to be over the top with it. Just enough to get by.”

You nod, slow and tense. “Keep it casual. Minimal.”

He hesitates, like he’s weighing something. “Right. But… you know they’ll expect us to—”

“No,” you cut in, voice sharp.

“They’ll notice if we don’t.”

“They’ll survive.”

“You’re saying Seokjin’s going to see us not kiss once this entire trip and just let that slide?”

You roll your eyes. “We’ve been together for years. Couples evolve. Maybe we’re just in our chill phase.”

That earns you another ghost of a smile. “We were never chill.”

He’s not wrong.

You were the couple everyone either envied or got annoyed by. Loud in your love. Touchy. Constantly wrapped up in each other like you didn’t know how not to be. There was never anything subtle about the way you felt for him.

You stare at the floor for a second. “I’m not kissing you.”

“Ouch," he mumbles, placing a hand over his heart.

You bite back a smile.

When Jungkook speaks again, his voice is quieter. “I just meant... if it happens, don’t freak out. That’s all.”

You narrow your eyes. “Why would it happen?”

He shrugs one shoulder, looking like he regrets bringing it up at all. “I don’t know. Habit?”

That word lands heavier than it should.

You study him for a moment. He’s not cocky. Not smirking like he used to when he’d tease you. He looks unsure, almost guilty. Like he knows he has no right to even suggest that kissing you is something that could still come naturally. Maybe it could. Maybe that’s the problem.

“Fine,” you mutter. “If it happens. And that’s a big if.”

His gaze flicks up. “Understood.”

You sit on the edge of the bed again, leaning back on your hands. Your head tilts back and your gaze reaches the ceiling. The fan above spins lazily, the blades catching a sliver of orange light every time they pass. It’s quiet enough to hear the wind outside, the occasional gust rustling the palm leaves.

“I’ll sleep on top of the covers,” Jungkook says suddenly. “Or on the floor, if that makes it less weird.”

You glance over at him. “Don’t be dramatic. I’m not actually gonna set you on fire.”

His mouth quirks. “Good to know.”

You pause. "Maybe."

Jungkook snorts under his breath, and for a second, it almost feels like nothing's changed. Like you're still in some random hotel room on a trip together, teasing and bickering until one of you caves and kisses the other just to shut them up.

But then there's a knock — two quick raps — and before either of you can answer, the door creaks open and Taehyung’s head pokes in.

He scans the room, eyes landing on the bed, then on you and Jungkook sitting a little too far apart to look like people who are supposedly in love. If he notices, he doesn’t comment.

“We're having dinner soon," Taehyung says, leaning against the doorframe. "Seokjin and Yoongi are already cooking. Told me to drag your asses down if you’re not there in ten."

You blink. “Already?”

"We only have a week. Might as well make the most of it," he replies with a shrug.

“We'll be there in a sec,” Jungkook says.

“Cool, but not too long," Taehyung warns, stepping back into the hall. "“Fuck each other later— I'm starving and I'm not waiting for you guys.”

And just like that, he’s gone again, the sound of his flip-flops slapping against the stairs as he yells something incoherent at Seokjin.

You both sit there for a second too long after Taehyung leaves.

Jungkook exhales slowly. “Well. That wasn’t weird at all.”

You glance at him. “He’s going to keep making jokes like that all week.”

“Oh, for sure.” He stands, stretches his arms overhead until his shirt rides up just enough to expose a sliver of skin, then drops them with a sigh. “We should head down before someone sends a search party.”

You don’t move right away. You watch him instead — the way he fiddles with his silver ring, the one you bought him for your two-year anniversary. He still wears it. You wish that didn’t mean anything, but your chest feels heavier every time you see it catch the light.

“Hey,” he says, noticing your stare. “You okay?”

You blink once. “Fine.” It’s a lie. You think he knows it, but he doesn’t push.

When you finally leave the room after spending twenty minutes freshening up, the house is buzzing. You can hear it before you even hit the stairs — the low hum of conversation, the clatter of dishes from the kitchen, laughter spilling through the hallways like sunlight through a cracked door.

The stairway smells like something good — grilled meat, maybe, and butter, and garlic — warm and rich and heavy enough to make your stomach twist. It’s a nice smell, a homey smell, the kind you’d associate with nights that end in full stomachs and sore cheeks from smiling too much.

You trail your fingers lightly against the wood of the banister as you go down, Jungkook a step behind you.

The main room opens up all at once when you reach the bottom — wide and airy, with big windows cracked open to let in the evening breeze. The kitchen bleeds straight into the dining area with no walls to separate them, just an island cluttered with drinks, half-unpacked groceries, and a giant speaker playing a playlist you’re pretty sure Kiara made.

The dining table is already half set, chairs scattered around it in the kind of casual, lived-in chaos that happens when twelve people try to organise themselves without a plan.

Bowls of chips, salad, and what looks like some kind of pasta are already on the table, half-covered with napkins to keep flies away. A basket of bread sits at one end, slightly squashed.

In the kitchen, Ari is perched on the counter, laughing at something Yoongi mutters as he chops a mountain of vegetables with terrifying precision. Seokjin stands at the stove, wielding a pair of tongs like a sword, flipping something in a pan with unnecessary flair.

"You two are late," Seokjin calls without turning around. "We almost started without you."

Ari shoots you a grin over her shoulder. "We figured you were busy... catching up."

You force a tight smile and Jungkook just huffs out a quiet laugh behind you, the sound brushing too close to the back of your neck.

There’s a low murmur of greetings as you and Jungkook make your way further inside — Namjoon waving a pair of tongs wildly in the air, Haeun tossing you a quick smile from where she's helping Jimin set out forks and plates.

You glance around for empty seats with a soft sigh.

There are two left. Right next to each other, tucked into the middle of the table, right between Kiara and Taehyung.

Perfect.

You feel Jungkook’s eyes meet yours, both of you registering the same inevitability. No words are exchanged — just a small, tired lift of your eyebrows and the smallest twitch of his mouth.

You move first, weaving through the scattered chairs and half-drunk glasses to get to your seat. The scrape of the chair against the hardwood floor feels unnaturally loud as you pull it out. You sit down carefully, pressing your thighs together, your palms flat against the tops of them under the table.

Jungkook slips into the chair beside you without hesitation. You can feel the heat of his body even through the space between you, the almost-touch of his arm resting on the table next to yours.

You stare straight ahead for a second — at the bowls of food, the condensation slipping down plastic cups, the crumpled paper towels that someone had already dropped on the table — and will yourself to breathe normally.

You can do this.

You have to do this.

For Seokjin and Haeun's sake. For everybody’s sake.

It isn’t long until all the food is set and everyone’s squeezed around the table, shoulder to shoulder, the energy a little loud and a little messy.

Plates are passed down, people piling food high with zero shame. Forks clatter, someone pops open another drink too close to Namjoon’s elbow, and Haeun lets out a squeal when soda almost spills across the table.

The conversations starts light — the usual catching up.

"I can’t believe you’re actually doing it," Kiara says, pointing her fork at Namjoon across the table. "Moving across the country?"

Namjoon chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah. Scary, right?"

Ari beams at him, reaching over to squeeze his hand briefly. "It's exciting. We’re ready."

"You’re insane," Yoongi deadpans. "But good for you."

"You’re just mad no one's trapped you yet," Seokjin says, dodging a grape Yoongi flicks at him.

You laugh, the sound almost surprising yourself with how normal it feels.

Someone brings up Hoseok, and Kiara sets her drink down with a soft clink, letting out a heavy sigh.

"His boss is a total asshole," she says, shaking her head. "Tried to tell him he couldn't take time off— even though he put in the request, like, six months ago."

There's a murmur of annoyance around the table.

Kiara rolls her eyes. "He’s still coming though. Driving down early tomorrow."

The conversation rolls on easily — Jimin complaining about the same landlord he's been cursing out ever since he moved out from the dorms on campus, Haeun sharing a horror story from her latest shift at the hospital, Taehyung and Yasmine excitedly telling everyone their plans of visiting Paris at the end of the year.

You find yourself relaxing in tiny increments, the night smoothing the edges of everything sharp inside you.

Still, every few minutes, a question sneaks your way. Directed at both you and Jungkook. Casual. Friendly. A little too curious.

"So, when’s the next trip?" Yasmine asks, her chin propped in her hand, a lazy grin on her face.

You freeze for a second — just a second — but it’s enough; enough for your brain to scramble, for your heart to lurch into your throat.

You open your mouth to answer at the exact moment Jungkook does.

"Hopefully soon—"

"Maybe end of the year—"

You both stop, the words tripping over each other in the thick summer air. A tiny beat of silence hangs between you, awkward and heavy.

Jungkook clears his throat softly. You let out a small laugh, too tight around the edges to sound natural, and tuck a piece of hair behind your ear even though it doesn’t need fixing.

"Uh— soon, hopefully," you say, forcing a smile, trying to smooth it over like it’s no big deal. Like your whole chest isn’t clenching painfully.

"Yeah," Jungkook adds, recovering fast, his voice easy. He stabs a piece of grilled chicken from his plate and pops it into his mouth like it's nothing

If anyone notices the tension simmering between you, they don’t say anything. You hope it’s because everyone’s too buzzed on good food and easy conversation, and not because they feel the awkwardness thick in the air and don’t know how to cut through it.

You’re just starting to feel relieved, letting yourself believe you might get through dinner unnoticed when Taehyung turns toward Jungkook halfway through the meal, nudging him with his shoulder. "Hey, I meant to ask you about—"

He stops mid-sentence.

His gaze flickers downward, quick, almost unnoticeable. Down to your hand resting by your plate.

You don’t catch it, too busy trying to butter a piece of bread without it crumbling to pieces in your hands, but Jungkook does, and you feel his body stiffen for half a second beside you.

Then, smoothly, he jumps in. "—about that new game drop next month. You getting it?"

Taehyung blinks, like he’s catching up to the new topic, then grins wide. "Obviously. I plan on absolutely destroying you."

"You say that every time," Jungkook shoots back, and just like that, the moment’s gone.

Buried under another wave of laughter and teasing.

You and Jungkook mostly stay quiet. You smile when you’re supposed to. You laugh when you have to.

You play your part.

And through it all, under the steady hum of old jokes and new memories being made, Jungkook’s knee shifts ever so slightly to rest against yours under the table.

You fight the urge to move away.

The beach is quiet this late, lit only by the faint glow of the moon and the scattered dots of stars overhead. The sky stretches wide and clear, not a cloud in sight, just a deep navy canvas freckled with light. The waves roll in steadily, calm and even, and the sand is cool now beneath your feet, the heat of the day finally burned off.

It had been Seokjin’s idea to head down after dinner, grabbing drinks for everyone before they could protest. Something about making the most of the night, getting “full value” out of the resort. No one argued. Within minutes, you were all slipping out of shoes and wandering down to the shore, half-full cups in hand, the buzz of dinner still clinging to the air.

Now, everyone’s scattered in loose clusters — some sitting in the sand, others walking along the edge of the water.

You hug your knees to your chest and rest your chin on top of them, eyes fixed on the tide as it pulls in and out, in and out. The repetition is comforting. Predictable. It drowns out the conversations happening around you — Taehyung trying to convince Yasmine to go in past her knees, Jimin narrating an elaborate story to Yoongi and Kiara.

Every now and then, someone laughs too loud, a bottle cap is flicked into the sand, or a sudden breeze sends someone scrambling to catch a napkin mid-air. It all blends together in the background, easy to tune out.

Jungkook is sitting a few feet to your right, legs stretched out in front of him, hands planted in the sand behind him for support. His head is tilted slightly up toward the sky like he’s trying to map constellations, or maybe just avoid looking at anything too real. He hasn’t said anything since you all got down here.

Neither have you. Not to each other, at least.

He shifts once, brushing some sand off his arm. His elbow knocks lightly into yours before he moves it away again without comment.

You don’t react.

Eventually, the group starts thinning. Namjoon stands up first, brushing sand off his jeans and helping Ari to her feet with that soft little smile he seems to save just for her. Yoongi follows soon after, muttering something about not waking up early tomorrow and Jimin follows.

The casual exits happen slowly, naturally, like everyone’s easing out of the night one moment at a time. No dramatic goodbyes, no announcements. Just people disappearing in twos and threes.

You stay put, your eyes still trained on the ocean. There’s something about the way the water moves that holds you there, like letting go of it too soon would mean snapping back into the real world — and you’re not ready for that yet. The sound of the waves fills in all the parts of your head that have been too loud lately.

You hear Jungkook shift beside you again, this time to sit up straighter. He doesn’t stand. Doesn’t move away either.

A few beats pass in silence.

Then, he speaks. Quietly.

“So…” he starts, voice careful. “How’ve you been?”

You don’t look at him. “Fine.”

“Yeah?” he says, and you can practically hear the awkward smile in his voice. “You always were a world-class oversharer.”

You glance over just enough to shoot him a look. “Do you want an essay or a lie?”

He huffs a laugh. “I’ll take a haiku.”

“Too bad. You get monosyllables.”

You hear the faint clink of his bracelet as he scratches the back of his neck. He lets the silence stretch between you, and you finally give in.

“Everything's been busy, I guess,” you say. “I’ve been prepping for a bunch of interviews and final stuff. The application season was a mess.”

“That’s good.”

You shrug. “It’s something.”

Another pause. This one hangs heavier. You know what he’s trying to do — pull you back into something like familiarity. The effort is obvious. It makes you tired.

Still, part of you — the small, irritating part that hasn’t unlearned how to read him — notices how tense his shoulders are. How he keeps his hands in the sand, fingers buried deep like he needs the grounding.

“I got offered a spot in a grad program in Berlin last month,” you say suddenly. You don’t know why, but the words tumble from your lips before you can stop them.

He doesn’t flinch.

But he does freeze — just for a second. Barely perceptible, but you feel it like a static shock between you. His eyes flick toward you, then away.

“What?” you ask, turning to him slightly. “Weird pause. What?”

He blinks like he wasn’t expecting you to press. “Nothing. Just… Berlin’s far.”

“Excellent observation.”

“Did you accept it?”

“No,” you say. You pause. “Turned it down.”

This time, he doesn’t mask it as well. There’s something in his face — not relief, not exactly, but something close enough to irritate you.

“What?” you ask again, sharper this time.

“Nothing,” he says, a bit too fast. “Just thought you’d take it. You always talked about wanting to move. To get out.”

“I still want to,” you say. “Just… not like that.”

“Like what?”

“Alone.”

He’s quiet.

You’re not sure why you said it. It wasn’t meant to sound like anything. But now it sits there between you — heavier than the air, thicker than the silence.

“I didn’t think that mattered to you anymore,” Jungkook says after a while.

Your laugh comes out short, dry. “Yeah. You gave up your right to guess what matters to me.”

And now he’s really looking at you, jaw working slightly like he wants to say something back — maybe something honest, maybe something dumb — but he doesn’t.

“Right,” he says finally, nodding once, more to himself than to you.

You exhale slowly, turning your gaze back to the water. You don’t know what kind of response you expected. Maybe an apology, maybe just silence. But that vague, self-soothing “right” somehow pisses you off more than either.

The tide rolls in and out again, steady as ever.

After a moment, you ask — voice even, deliberately uncurious — “What about you?”

He looks over. You can feel it. But you don’t meet his eyes.

“What about me?”

You tilt your head slightly. “How’s your life, Jungkook?”

There’s a pause, like he’s weighing whether or not this is a trap.

“It’s…” He drags out the word. “Fine.”

You glance at him briefly. “Wow. You’ve really evolved.”

He chuckles. “You set the tone. Thought we were keeping it short.”

You let out a quiet breath through your nose. “Just trying to get through the week, that’s all.”

“Right,” he says again. And for some reason, this one doesn’t irritate you as much.

He shifts his weight, drawing one knee up so he can rest an arm over it. “I've also been attending interviews and stuff. Still need to hear back from them.”

You nod.

“I moved,” he adds after a second. “Place near the river. Quiet.”

“You always said you hated the river.”

“I said I hated the smell.”

“Which comes from the river.”

He shrugs. “I like the quiet now.”

You hum like you don’t quite believe him.

The air’s cooled a bit, the heat of the day finally loosening its grip, and a breeze moves through just enough to lift strands of your hair. Above you, the sky is wide open — deep, dark, and dusted with stars. The kind of stars you never really see in the city.

You tilt your head back slightly, just to look at them. It’s the kind of sky that used to pull words out of you. That used to make both of you go quiet for good reasons. Stargazing had been your thing once — one of those low-effort dreams that somehow still meant everything.

It had even made it onto the bucket list you’d both scribbled out on a small piece of paper one night with a pink pen: “See the northern lights.” “Swim in a bioluminescent bay.” “Stargaze in the middle of nowhere.”

You wonder if he remembers. Part of you hopes he does. Part of you hopes he doesn’t.

You glance sideways. He’s staring at the water. The silence hangs — not awkward, just long. Heavy in a way that feels like a question waiting to be asked.

“I almost didn’t come,” he says eventually, eyes still on the water.

The words hit soft, but they land hard. You don’t say anything. Don’t even look at him. You just stay where you are, watching the water.

“I didn’t want to ruin it for everyone,” he adds after a moment, like that explains anything. Or everything.

You swallow thickly. You don’t know what to do with that — what to say to it — so you choose not to say anything at all. You push your hands into the sand beside you and stand up slowly, brushing off your shorts.

His voice follows you, barely above a whisper.

“But I figured... you’d be here.”

That stops you for half a second. Not because of what he says — those words are vague enough to mean anything — but because of who they’re coming from. You don’t turn around. You don’t give him the satisfaction of a response. You just stand there, staring at the water like it might offer you patience.

You hate how casual he says it. Like this was all some quiet inevitability. Like it wasn’t him who walked away.

Of course you’re here. You were always going to show up — for Kiara, for Taehyung, for your friends who matter to you. That part never changed. What did, was him deciding, out of nowhere, that the two of you couldn’t work anymore.

That four years together was suddenly a dead end.

So what exactly was that supposed to mean? That he knew you’d come, like he still understood you better than anyone else? Or that he was counting on it?

You feel the words gather in your throat — sharp, instinctive, just on the edge of spilling out. But you swallow them down, pressing your lips together until they stop trying.

You give the ocean one last look, then turn and walk away, mumbling a simple, "I'm going to bed."

Your footsteps are soft in the sand, but your chest is loud with everything you wish you’d said. The lights from the house glow a dull yellow in the distance.

When you step inside, the kitchen’s still half-lit — someone probably left a lamp on over the sink — but the rest of the place is still. You don’t bother turning it off. You just move through the space as quick as you can, back to the room you’re supposed to share with him for the next week.

The door clicks shut behind you, and suddenly the quiet feels heavier than the sand you tracked in.

You don’t change. Don’t brush your teeth. Don’t bother pulling back the sheets. You just lie down on top of the covers, facing the window, the sound of the waves leaking in through the small crack you left open.

You try not to think about what he meant. About why he said it. About whether he meant anything at all.

Sleep doesn’t come easily.

You lie there with your eyes closed, but your mind won’t follow. You shift, restless, each turn in the sheets only dragging up memories you wish you could leave in the past — memories you thought you'd already left in the past.

Eventually though, your body gives in. Your thoughts quiet. Your breathing steadies.

You don’t hear the door when he finally comes in.

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[gukcnt]

CRAVE YOU — jjk (m.)

“God, I missed you,” he said against your lips, his voice thick, almost a growl. His hands slid down, grabbing your ass, squeezing hard enough to make you gasp. “All fucking day, baby. Couldn’t think straight. Kept picturing you, kept thinking about this.”

pairing — dom!jungkook x sub!femreader

genre — established relationship, romance, smut, fluff

warnings — 18+, explicit smut, dirty talk, rough sex, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, possessiveness, kitchen sex, passionate sex, kitchen counter sex, oral sex (f. receiving), clit stimulation, fingering, breast play, nipple play, praise kink, intense orgasms and deep thrusting, longing and love confessions

wc — 1.6k

a/n — I decided to write this quick short oneshot because I wanted to put out something for you guys. I hope you enjoy it! I also want to say that I love every one of you and thank you for always supporting me. I’m so grateful for each and every one of my readers! <3

masterlist

۶ৎ

The day had been endless, each second stretching into eternity as Jungkook sat trapped in his office. The place was like a prison for him, and the constant tap-tap of keyboards that did nothing to drown out his thoughts. Those thoughts were all of you. You, with your soft, warm skin that he could still feel under his fingertips from this morning’s rushed goodbye kiss. You, with that little hitch in your breath when he touched you just right. You, and the way your body fit so perfectly against his, like you were made for him. His fingers drummed against his desk, restless, his mind painting vivid pictures of you sprawled across the bed, waiting for him, needy and aching just like he was.

He shifted in his chair, the tight pull of his slacks against his hardening cock making him grit his teeth. It was torture, this want, this need that had been simmering all day, growing hotter with every passing hour. He could see you so clearly in his head—your hair messy on the pillow, thighs parted, your pussy already wet and glistening, begging for him. His hands clenched, nails digging into his palms as he fought the urge to grab his phone and text you something dirty, something that would have you squirming until he could get his hands on you. But he held back. He wanted to save it all, let this desperate hunger build until he could pour it into you the second he walked through the door.

By the time he pulled into the driveway, his heart was pounding, a heavy rhythm that matched the throb in his cock as he fumbled with his keys at the front door. The familiar smell of your lavender candle hit him as he stepped inside, warm and sweet, wrapping around him. The house was quiet except for the soft hum of the air conditioner and a faint clatter from the kitchen. He took off his shoes, already shrugging out of his suit jacket, the fabric too tight, too confining. He followed the sound, each step making his pulse race faster, his need sharper.

And there you were. Standing at the sink, your back to him, wearing one of his old t-shirts that hung loose on your frame, the hem brushing the tops of your thighs. Your legs were bare, smooth, and he could see the gentle curve of your hips, the way your hair caught the soft glow of the kitchen light. You were humming, some quiet tune he couldn’t place, and you hadn’t heard him yet. That made it better, somehow—gave him a moment to just look at you, to let the sight of you ignite the fire in his chest until it was unbearable.

“Baby,” he said, his voice coming out rough, low, like he’d been holding it in too long.

You jumped a little, turning fast, a soft gasp slipping from your lips. Your eyes locked on his, and he saw it right away—the way they darkened, the way your pupils blew wide with the same hungry ache he felt. Your cheeks went pink, and his gaze dropped, catching the hard peaks of your nipples pressing against the thin cotton of his shirt. Fuck, you were already so ready for him. He could tell by the way you shifted, pressing your thighs together, that you were wet, that you’d been thinking of him too.

“Kookie,” you said, your voice breathy, trembling with need. “You’re home.”

He didn’t bother with words. He crossed the kitchen in a few quick steps, hands finding your waist, pulling you hard against him. You felt so good, so soft, your curves molding to his body like you belonged there. He kissed you, fierce and hungry, his tongue sweeping into your mouth, tasting you—sweet, like the strawberries you’d probably been eating earlier. You made a soft, needy sound, your hands grabbing at his shirt, fingers shaky as you tried to match his intensity.

“God, I missed you,” he said against your lips, his voice thick, almost a growl. His hands slid down, grabbing your ass, squeezing hard enough to make you gasp. “All fucking day, baby. Couldn’t think straight. Kept picturing you, kept thinking about this.” He pressed himself closer, letting you feel how hard he was, his cock straining against his slacks, and the way you moaned, high and desperate, nearly broke him.

“Kookie, please,” you whispered, your voice shaking, your fingers fumbling with his belt. “I’ve been—I’ve been thinking about you too. I’m so wet, I couldn’t—oh!” Your words cut off as he lifted you onto the counter, the cold granite biting into your bare thighs. He spread your legs, stepping between them, and his fingers found your panties, the fabric soaked through, clinging to your skin.

“Fuck, pretty girl,” he said, his voice low, reverent, as he pressed his fingers against your clit through the damp cotton, circling slowly. Your head fell back, lips parted, a soft cry slipping out, and he watched, mesmerized, as your body responded to him. “All this for me? You been dripping like this, waiting for me to come home and take care of you?”

“Yes, yes,” you gasped, your hips rocking against his hand, chasing the pressure. “I tried touching myself, Kookie, but it wasn’t enough. I needed you so bad.”

His cock twitched at that, a low sound rumbling in his throat. He yanked your panties down, tossing them somewhere behind him, and the sight of you—bare, wet, your pussy swollen and glistening—made his mouth go dry. He didn’t wait, couldn’t wait, his fingers sliding through your folds, spreading your slickness, teasing your clit until you were shaking, your moans loud and desperate.

“You’re so fucking perfect,” he said, his voice rough as he pushed two fingers inside you, curling them just right, hitting that spot that made your back arch off the counter. “So tight, so wet. Been dreaming about this all day, baby. About you, spread out like this, begging for me.”

“Kookie, oh god,” you whimpered, your hands gripping the edge of the counter so hard your knuckles went white. “Please, I need you. Need your cock, please, Kookie.”

He didn’t need convincing. His hands were shaking as he undid his belt, shoving his slacks and boxers down just enough to free himself. His cock was hard, heavy, the tip already slick with precum, and he gave himself a quick stroke, eyes locked on your pussy as he lined up.

“Look at me,” he said, his voice firm but soft, like he was grounding himself in you. Your eyes fluttered open, meeting his, and the raw, open need in them made his chest tight. “That’s my girl. Wanna see you when I fuck you.”

He pushed into you slow, feeling the way your pussy stretched around him, so tight and warm it made his vision blur. You moaned, long and broken, your head tipping back as he filled you, inch by inch, until he was buried deep. The sensation was almost too much—your walls fluttering, pulling him in, the wet heat of you making him dizzy.

“Fuck, baby,” he groaned, his hands gripping your hips, fingers digging into your soft skin. “You feel so good. So fucking perfect. Missed you so damn much.”

“Kookie, you’re so big,” you whined, your voice trembling, your legs wrapping around his waist, pulling him closer. “Feels so good, please, don’t stop.”

He didn’t. He started moving, slow at first, letting you feel every inch as he pulled out and thrust back in, the slick sound of your bodies loud in the quiet kitchen. Your moans got louder, more shaky, each one pushing him to go harder, deeper. The counter creaked under you, but he didn’t care—he was lost in you, in the way your pussy gripped him, in the way your nails scratched at his shoulders, in the way you looked at him like he was everything.

“Baby, you take me so well,” he panted, his thrusts getting faster, more desperate. He leaned down, sucking one of your nipples through the shirt, the fabric wet under his tongue, and you cried out, your hands tangling in his hair, tugging hard. “Love these tits, love how your nipples are all hard for me. You’re mine, right? All mine.”

“Yes, Kookie, yours,” you sobbed, your voice breaking, your body trembling under him. “I’m yours, always. Missed you so much, needed you—oh, fuck, right there!”

He shifted, angling his hips to hit that spot inside you, the one that made your eyes roll back, your moans turning into sharp, desperate cries. He could feel you getting close, your walls tightening, your thighs shaking against his hips. His hand slid between you, finding your clit, rubbing fast, tight circles that had you screaming his name.

“Come for me, baby,” he said, his voice low, urgent. “Wanna feel you come on my cock. Show me how much you missed me.”

“Kookie, I’m—oh god, I’m gonna—” Your words broke into a high, shuddering moan as you came, your pussy clenching so tight around him it stole his breath. You shook, your body arching, nails digging into his back as the pleasure hit you hard, wave after wave.

That was it for him. He thrust deep one last time, his cock pulsing as he came, spilling inside you with a low, ragged groan. “Fuck, baby,” he gasped, his forehead pressed to yours, both of you sweaty, panting. “So fucking good.”

You were still trembling, your arms wrapping around him, pulling him close. He kissed you, soft and slow, tasting the salt of your sweat, the sweetness of you. “I love you,” he said quietly, his voice warm, a little rough. “Missed you so damn much.”

“I love you too, Kookie,” you said, your voice hoarse but soft, your fingers tracing slow circles on his back. “Don’t leave me like that again.”

He laughed, soft, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Never, pretty girl. Never.”

[wannaghostbts]

Memories follow me left and right!! I could feel u over here! I could feel u over there!! You take up every corner of my mind!~

jjk; angel’s trumpet | masterpost

Angel’s Trumpet Scientific Name: Brugmansia Order and Family: Polimonailes and Solanaceae Plant Overview: A higher order of nightshade, the Angel’s Trumpet is a show-stopping pendulous flower that hangs like bells. In myth, they were prized as chimes holding magical properties. In modern use, Angel’s Trumpets have occasionally been used to create recreational drugs, but the risk of overdose is so high that these uses often have deadly consequences.

summary; one second, your life is flashing before your eyes and the next, you’re transported into a world exactly like your own. but the jungkook you meet in this world isn’t a renowned singer or your former almost-lover, in fact he has no clue who you are and why you know him so well. as you work to find your way home lost and confused, you conclude that you’re either dead or in the middle of the most wicked drug trip of your life.

pairing; idol!jk x reader (f), alternatively film producer!jk x reader

genre/warnings; fluff, angst, supernatural, idol!au, non-idol!au, alternate universes, themes of fate, language, alcohol consumption, mentions of sex

w.c; ~45k

| 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | final | bonus |

a/n; coming soooooon! i’ve been dedicating the better half of the month to this so i really hope u enjoy my first kpop mini series!! inspired a lil bit by the k-drama W and the avengers! 

click under the cut for a preview!

Keep reading

[taegularities]

candles & flames: breeze | jjk (m)

(final) bonus chapter III: breeze

Summary: One day an end might near – but never with him.

➳ pairing: Jungkook x reader ➳ rating: 18+ ➳ genre: established relationship, royal!au; angst!!, fluff, smut ➳ warnings: mmmkay, they are at a weird place, but love each other so much; insecurities and sadness, jk grovels a lot, jihyo/illegitimate child mention, tears and overthinking, their kids <3, fears, abandonment issues, dad!jk, brief mention of a past death, yearning, an event, manyyy memories and references to the other parts, mention of post-sex memories, orphanage!!, kissing in the rain, jihyo sigh, oc makes him better fr </3 the ending bc that's what this chapter is </3 ➳ wc: 19.6k ➳ a/n: ah yes, the end of an era :') not sure if it was due to this being the definitive finale or just them in general, but i cried a lot, once again. thank you for giving them the amount of love that you did. i hope you like this one <3 ALSO, listen to the playlist, trust me!! ➳ a/n2: this is a bonus chapter for my mini-series candles & flames. reading the rest of the story helps!! find the mpost below <3 and the collaborative playlist here!

SERIES MASTERPOST | TAGLIST MASTERLIST | WIPs

It’s interesting how a routine turns every night into the same returning experience.

Somewhat soulless, people awake in the morning, treading through their days and hours to fall back into the deep slumber that their bodies so desperately beg for. Back into the peace from the moment that the sky reveals its stars and its moon.

Then, the cycle repeats: cracking up their eyes at the same dawn or noon as the day before, or when the sun sits at its highest point, greeting and smiling, or hidden.

For you, it’s been different.

The nights always shift their personality, and the mornings unravel yet another unfelt, unseen emotion. Love, then longing, then misery, then near paralysis. Numbness. 

You don’t recall ever having been much of a victim to fate; you consider yourself more or less lucky, born under just the right constellation. But something about the odd way your mind has been circling around its own axis for a while now doesn’t feel natural.

An indicator of something bad, and you know. You know the phenomenon and know the reason and know the pain it accompanies.

With the nights, the seasons change, too. The more time passes, the warmer it gets. The cold has left. Left the shivers behind; left your head hanging. The dark and grey clouds floating above have vanished for the most part, clearing like a mist to boast the sky’s beauty.

You love the view. You love how rays of sunshine fall into your room like giving it a halo, golden and warm.

But above all, you have changed the most. In every shape and form, you’re somebody entirely new. As if you’re pottery, forged into something solid before smashed flat again. Inconsistently moving up and down, building and crashing, to the better and worse.

Healing isn’t linear, you have realised. You have known; you have seen it on him before, too. Sometimes, you do ponder whether you’re overreacting. Whether you’re supposed to move on the way so many other women do when their husbands come home late.

But no.

Your husband did not come home late.

You were the one who was late.

He never did you wrong; he didn’t intend to hurt you, did he? And thinking about it realistically: not a soul in this world summons even a fragment of the life you breathe into him. Nobody comes into any close proximity of who you are in his eyes and in his heart and in his mind.

But the pain never subsides so easily. What a shame, though. Your sister always appeases you by insisting that you have every right to hurt; that envy can be part of a deeply-feeling empath, and that love elicits these emotions naturally.

That one day, it’ll get better. That for now, you’re allowed to hate people, and allowed to hate him.

But you don’t. You do not hate him. You guess if you did, it would hurt much less.

It would hurt less to stand in the bit of sun shining through the window, letting it prick your skin. It would ache less to sleep next to him every night; to get up and leave at times, wandering the lonely mansion, just so his touch doesn’t stun your body or keep you awake.

Sometimes, you turn to see him awake, too, tossing and turning. Lifting his lids to meet your eyes wordlessly, at times with the smallest, weakest of smiles.

And it would pain less — stepping over the threshold, silken robe draped around you, and into the spacious room downstairs. It’s brighter than the corridor; the latter would’ve been quieter, darker, but certainly more depressing, too. Colder. 

You can’t just roam around there. Weird, though — who knows what dragged you back into this room of all, right where you first broke down; where your perspective changed.

It’s often the same; you tend to land here, as if to relive the moment and to convince yourself that it wasn’t as bad as you make it out to be. Or that it was, but that you need to look past it. You promised Jungkook to work on this, to not give up.

Told yourself that distance hurts more than closeness.

And it does. If you were to pack your bags and leave again, you might not be able to come out of the pitch black void again. At least he’s here; where you are.

You and me, in every damn life.

But you’re in a loop. Still right there, in this heart of his, but so forlorn, too. Always the same shit. If she hadn’t come, life would pain less. If you hadn’t been here, life would hurt less. If, if, if…

If you didn’t love him, you could look him in the eyes. If you didn’t love him, you’d care less. But you do. And you’re tortured by the fact that he constantly seeks your gaze. All the time.

Even now.

Right now, as he stands near the dead chimney, staring up to you from whatever document he was reading. You don’t have it in you to meet the dark brown eyes beseeching you to forgive. Sometimes, you do — in a moment of strength, you do.

But not right now.

And you guess you have forgiven him. You converse with him; but the change is palpable, just like the weather is.

From afar, you watch a smile appear on his still-gorgeous face, though a bit more sunken since last fall. His steps are timid when he nears you, and you mimic, walking towards the man whose arms you so desperately seek.

“Good morning,” he greets, and you answer in kind before he adds, “You still look tired. Do you need to sleep more? I don’t mind, I have a bit of time to take care of—”

“Oh, no, no,” you reassure, coming to a stand in front of him. Your fingers twitch to reach out, but your mind refuses; you hate this constant occurrence. “I feel fine, actually. And Hana will get up soon as well.”

“If you are certain.” Jungkook nods; then rolls his eyes again, more in a manner of amusement and sarcasm than annoyance. “That girl runs to her pony so fast these days that she barely ever acknowledges us anymore. So not a lot to do there for us.”

You chuckle a little. “Isn’t that right?” You observe as his head tilts just slightly; a gesture you well associate with affection. “What about you? You are awake early, too.”

A shrug of a shoulder as a response, no word uttered. He blinks once, just slowly, before his hand surrenders to the urge yours suppressed — and moves up, up towards your face. It happens in slow motion, an unnatural pace to it; but a moment later, you feel the touch.

A palm cradling your face. A familiar, somewhat ancient feeling. Known yet so estranged these days.

You close your eyes. Take in the warmth. Let the delusional relief wash over you for a second. And you feel better; much better when he presses in a tiny bit. You forget the pain still lingering.

Every fibre of you yearns to jump into his arms and to remain right there. To inhale his scent, to feel his lips in your hair, to feel the longing in his touch. And he would succumb to each sensation within a moment, a walking white flag, waiting for you to bring him to his knees.

He has been craving every bit of you in every little way, and you know. You know because you have been, too. But whenever his parted lips linger on your burning cheek, perfectly rosy and inviting and as beautiful as ever, or his thumb grazes your trembling chin, you just…

You trap yourself in this cramped cage of your own miserable thoughts; questions arise.

Such as—

Did he touch her like this, too? What did her skin on his feel like? And did he look at her with the same glint dancing in his dark gems? The same hooded gaze, pining and erasing every other thought, so incredibly desperate; like your own eyes offer oxygen for another day? 

And—

How are you different? 

This is what has been undeniably wounding you the most. The recurring thoughts you can’t turn off. The queries popping up. The fact that you can’t and won’t ask, and that you know what the answer would be, and that you would still burst your head overthinking.

Jungkook knows you’re drifting away day by day.

He’s crept up on you and learned about every single piece of you, has understood you on a level so detailed that even you can’t quite comprehend about yourself. So it’s only natural that he sees it when your mind doesn’t reside with him.

When you’re in pain. And he is in pain, too — perhaps in greater distress, even. But you have told the petty inner voices that this isn’t a competition; that no matter what the bad parts of you demand, he is not supposed to hurt worse than you. None of you is.

But he’s told you. Told you about the torment. The night you came back, as he held you for dear life, glued to you under the thin sheets until you could barely breathe against the fabric covering his chest, you heard him say—

“I cannot figure out what to do… I— I lost myself once. I wouldn’t recognise myself again if I lost you, too.”

You wonder — did he already know what future to expect if you weren’t in it? The time you were gone; did he see a version of himself he didn’t recognise?

You want to ask, but your mentality keeps slipping. Always absent but deep in his own emotions; you hate that you’re so aware of his thoughts. That even right now, he doesn’t expect you to quite look at him or to reciprocate his touch, even though sometimes, reluctantly, you do.

And he doesn’t expect you to smile. He has never known you otherwise — but he doesn’t expect it, consumed by his guilt. He knows you’re entitled to feel the way you feel. Doesn’t expect you to talk to him as you used to either, or to love him the way he’s always known.

He knows you love him… but he misses the moments when you showed him you were in love with him.

Months and years of affection passed, and the weeks since Jihyo entered your life shattered part of the idyllic paradise you had built for yourself. Covered it in clouds.

Yet, he accepts it. To you, it sometimes seems that he is content that you’re here at all. He won’t tell you what happened, how he felt, what he did while you were away, but it seems that his most prevalent fear is you vanishing again.

As long as he sees you standing here, in flesh and blood and not just in his wanting mind, understanding that you are not a figment of his imagination, he is satisfied.

Then again, you don’t think there is an absolute way of not hurting. So you’re not surprised when he brings you back to where you stand, into this moment, and says, “Hey,” he tries to lift your head, “I miss looking at you properly.”

You try. You meet his eyes. They’re filled with sleepless hours and the same sadness as yours.

You keep looking at him, eyebrows slightly moving, breath accelerating, and say, “I do, too.”

“And I miss your voice.”

“I know.”

“And I want you to laugh again. About anything at all.”

ƒrims Well. Maybe you were wrong. Or maybe not — he doesn’t expect you to smile, but… he can still want it, right?

Your body reacts fully automatically, closing in until your forehead gently collides with his. You hear it when he sucks in a sharp breath, hopeful and so hopelessly adoring, before he whispers, “I love you so much.”

Translates to: I need you back.

Translates to: I need you here.

Translates to: Stay.

For a moment, you keep staring into his pupils. A little longer… and then a little longer. It’s hard to look away; as if they harbour a spell and he’s practicing it right this moment. But then you feel another ache in your heart.

Familiar, but never less painful. The same damn one that your mind and body have been shooting through you, keeping you from giving in.

You move back just a little — but he understands. Accepts that you need more distance, just for a while; that it’ll take time. But as if to tell you he’s nowhere near giving up, he grazes your cheek again, warmth in the back of his fingers; hot as the fire that he is.

When he lets go, you feel breathless. Drowning. 

“It seems that our daughter is awake,” he comments. You only now notice her tiny voice. Drowsy little girl waddling to her beloved father. Cheek to his shoulder, quiet in the morning, eyes closed again once she’s settled. He adds, “Let’s get breakfast.”

And you follow, but the appetite isn’t too big. Your heart is still beating in your stomach.

Hana has now learned to express herself enough to ask what’s wrong. She understands basic emotions. Sometimes, you let yourself feel in your twins’ presence alone, solely for the reason that they do not pose questions.

But Hana knows.

And you adore her with everything that you are and everything that she has become; but so does she. She sees it when your eyes droop; notices when her father misses a thing she said or two. When he looks at her with deeply rooted affection, but with dead and stinging pain, too.

You think that sometimes, gaping at her round, bubbly face, he remembers as much as you that she’s not all there is. That she and the boys do belong to his blood, but that somewhere out there, another boy gets all excited about visits every now and then.

A child older than any toddler in your massive mansion, residing in a warm home so small and compact in comparison. At times, you think that your husband knows, too: That sweet Minjun is truly all that has ever defined Jungkook.

The art; the smile; the dimples. The politeness and gentleness.

You take a deep breath.

How does anybody ever get over this? You promised Jungkook to fight, and you will, with time you will because you love him, but…

How will you move past this? Will you stop seeing all that happened in everything one day? Grow out of it, find a way to hold onto him and onto who you are, to hurt less?

“Mama… did you hear?”

“Hm?” You glance at your daughter as she wipes her bangs out of her face, eyes too big on it. She’s holding a toy pony towards you. “Hear what, sweetheart?”

You stretch out a hand, carefully holding the toy in your palm. It’s still beautiful, solid snow white porcelain, albeit missing one of his four legs. Hana cried for a whole while when it happened.

“What I just said!” she tries again, her voice reprimanding, disappointed. Then she sighs, pouts, “You didn’t hear.”

It’s the enormous doe eyes that pierce your heart. When he’s sad, he looks the same. Awakens the urge to protect and to love and to keep him far from even a scratch. You sigh, too; keep yourself together.

“I apologise, baby,” you shift closer to her; she’s a bit older now, more forgiving. Still feisty, but very forgiving. “Mama is just tired. But I’m here, yes? Tell me again, please?”

Whenever Hana starts a thought, she needs to finish it. Your absent mind can’t keep her from it; so she soon turns to you, her voice much louder than yours. “I was saying,” she starts, easy to persuade, “I want to see Tee.”

You laugh.

Tee.

A self-made abbreviation for the term auntie. Somehow, it was too odd of a word for her to pronounce, so she settled on this one syllable to define your sister. She has accepted it; grown to love it, in fact. You guess her name is now simply Tee because Jeon Suhana says so.

“How convenient.” Your laugh dies; replaced by a little jump as his posed, soft voice suddenly joins the room, echoing through it. You give him a small smile. “Right?”

Jungkook walks in with his hands in the pockets of his trousers, two buttons of his dark shirt open. His chest peeks golden from underneath, with light spots of red, as if he rubbed the skin over his heart, soothing it.

The usually lifted collars are falling lazily to the sides; the baggy, loose sleeves rolled just below his elbows.

He looks as breathtaking as he did when you met him all those years ago; when you fell for the soul he revealed. Jeon Jungkook doesn’t fade, in any way at all. He still emanates the same confidence, even in times of desperation. Radiates pure attraction.

You guess people would be fooled by this, fall for the untamed, silky, dark hair if they didn’t know him well.

But you do — and you see the change in hue under his eyes. How the fragile, thin skin is a tad bit darker, and how he usually takes care of his mane so well. The way his strands stick out isn’t his usual appearance. Your husband used to be more put together.

But he’s smiling. For your sake and for hers, perhaps even for his own.

Hana is beaming back at him, though a bit timid in face of the change she’s surely seen in him.

But she couldn’t focus on more than the grand city right now, you know. Somehow, you reckon he planted this thought into her mind. He’s been mentioning an upcoming ball this spring, not too many days from now.

If you went, it’d be an excuse to visit your families again. For him to see his mother, and for you to spend an afternoon with your sister. He’s spoken about this once or twice, told you to think about it.

That—

I, however, understand if it is uncomfortable. If it hurts.

Of course it does. Going back to the one place where he handed you his bleeding, beating heart, yours for taking. But the place where he almost became hers, to. The place you met pain and then embraced love.

You were going to give him an answer soon, and you haven’t, and you know how goddamn unfair it is to him, but…

Your heart has been so delicate, and your tongue too mute to truly verbalise a proper response. Yes or no is all it takes, but you can’t stop pondering about the pros and cons.

“Daddy…” Hana calls, palms on the ground, butt up to lift herself upright. “Daddy, what?”

Ever-the-curious daughter. She probably got this from you. Too many unknown flowers that you picked together.

He lifts his trousers to his ankles and then crouches down to her, on the carpet that the two of you have made yourselves comfortable on. Hana drops back onto it. “We could see Tee, if we can make time, baby.”

If your mother agrees.

“Really?!”

Her legs are folded, her upper body leaning forwards, as if she can’t contain the joy in her little heart. She’s delighted, fists on the carpet, and for a moment, it lifts your spirits.

His eyes shift to yours carefully as Hana does a little victory dance, and you feel a prick in your chest. Is it okay to go back? You want to. You don’t want to. Will your heart withhold the pain and take the weight the trip might bring? Or perhaps the opposite…

“Wait,” Hana interrupts, suddenly solemn, “who will play with Leehi if I go?”

Leehi, her favourite nanny, young and beautiful and gentle. You chuckle, and Jungkook follows before he hums for a moment, responding, “Well, she will certainly miss you. Perhaps you should go and tell her that you might go away for a bit?”

Hana gets to her feet again, still your teeny tiny baby as she lifts a finger and declares with raised eyebrows, “I will tell her to not miss me.”

“You do that, love. Leehi is in your room, making your bed.”

Your daughter bolts away with such determination that you can’t help but laugh; her two braids move back and forth.

And once she’s out of sight, Jungkook plumps down on the carpet, knees pulled in and arms around them. He tilts his head with a tender smile, chest rising before he asks, “Did you have time to think about it? Going home?”

You remember a time not too long ago when you’d sit here like this, too; despite the couch in the back, you’d play with the twins and Hana right here, on this warm carpet, and Jungkook would join after work. You’d place your head on his shoulder and whisper-converse with him.

Sometimes, you’d fall asleep and wake up in his arms, in your bed, with the children secured in theirs. You never needed proof for how gentle Jungkook handles you — but if he could carry you into your room like a feather without disturbing a moment of your sleep, you were at utter peace, right?

He did that to you. He still does; his presence calms you, though it stirs your heart, too.

You want to put your head on his chest again, slumber there. Instead, you nod and say, “I did, yes.”

“And?”

“Hana wants to go.”

His eyes move to the side, down to the floor, then back to you as he tries again, “And what about you?”

You shrug a little. “Can I really refuse my daughter’s wish?”

He moves closer; a very small distance, but noticeable to you. His eyes are intense as he emphasises, “What’s your wish, love?”

Yours? You have a lot of wishes.

Whispered upon falling stars and eyelashes. You can’t utter most of them now, though, can you? But maybe you should. Maybe, rather than the universe, it could be him granting you what you desire.

He can read your thoughts anyway. Because he encourages, “You can share your mind with me. I’m your husband, darling.”

You nod; let something in you break and break until your fingers move, up to one of his knees. He immediately puts a palm onto your digits, holds onto you as you say, “You are.”

“Only yours.”

You inhale deeply. The tears are less these days, but never truly gone. You blink before they can reemerge, quickly adding, “I will go if you want to go. Your wish is my wish.”

“It is?”

“Of course. I am yours, too.”

A fresh colour dusts his cheeks, as if he’s falling in love anew. But his gaze betrays him; still sad when he wonders, “Then… Can I say something very kitschy?”

You feel yourself melt just a little. A hint of a smile graces your face. “Always.”

“My wish is… that I want you back.” He drops his head the moment your heart sinks, too. Even from here, you see the damp waterline. “I want you to be mine the way you were. I wish to give you the same joy I used to. I just…” His voice shakes. “I need my girl back so badly.”

And then, another whisper, stuck in a loop, “I miss you.”

You nod again, tell him, “I know.” Because if you said anything more, you’d cry. You know you would.

He looks up at you, the rims of his eyes red, trapping the tears in. He sniffles; shuts his lids, as if preparing for something. And then asks—

“Do you still love me?”

Do you?

Does he truly need to ask?

His presence still calms you, though it stirs your heart, too.

You love him irreversibly. You love him with an intensity that has nestled into your heart and is here to stay. Jungkook will never leave its crevices, no matter what. You just wish…

You wish you could show these sentiments to him better. Easier.

You’re the only one in your way now.

Mustering strength, you admit, “If I had stopped— I might’ve been long gone.”

He nods right away — it seems to be enough for him. Encourages him. Like he needed the confirmation; like, even for a moment, he’s glad that your life and soul and being are still merged with his. You haven’t strayed as far as he always fears and it relieves him.

Relieves you, too.

He licks his lips, clearing his throat, and says, “If you don’t want to go… we don’t have to, yes? I am sorry for putting pressure on you.”

“No,” you hold onto his fingers, just weakly, “no, we can go. I want to and… It might be a good alternative to the usual routine.”

Another bop of his head before he sees the pony in your other hand, reaching for it. You give it to him, and he inspects it. Comments, “Oh… It broke.”

“Mmh… damaged but still here. Hana makes sure of it.”

Jungkook looks at you. You understand your words; understand the hope behind them. And it makes him smile.

The same smile that you remember from before; the one you saw in the orphanage, in the carriages, in the rain. Months ago when you pestered him in his office until he came to bed with you.

You don’t know if he hears it when you add a quiet mumble under your breath; you guess he registers at least pieces of it as he finds your eyes soon again, so tender and vulnerable and speechless.

Pained and comforted at once as you whisper, “I miss you, too.”

This is far from your first time entering a hall that exceeds all expectations you have of pre-summer events and boasting the riches.

Jungkook and you have hosted parties before and attended even more. The number accumulated over the years; to a sum that made you immune with time. To the lusters and the dances; to the lights and the food.

Never to his touch, but much to the noise and the giggle. Most of the conversations are superficial, and when they’re not, you’re barely part of them. In your town, people respect you, but they have their own little culture that you’re not always too well versed with, up there in your mansion.

And here in this town, you stopped being a true, proper member of the peerage long ago. Even when you’re welcomed with wide arms and open hearts. People encourage you and admire you, but your life has long evolved.

These people don’t know half of it. To them, you’re the co-ruler of a beautiful town, far from here and deep in your own head. Living your days with gorgeous children and a wildly desired husband.

But you have perfected your act. Nobody suspects a thing, and you don’t want them to. So you cling to Jungkook’s arm, a strange feeling in the pit of your stomach when you enter the brightly lit hall and take in what you know.

The place is familiar; many years ago, you flipped to a new page right here, following the same steps. You probably walked the same line to the middle of the room, too, and then up to a dark hallway, meeting Jungkook in a corner before you turned your lives around.

For a while, this spot was connected to memories you would’ve rather forgotten. Tears and pain and betrayal and lies and eventually, the truth. But aches have dimmed over time, despite the fact that neither of you will truly ever forget.

You replaced these miseries. You live through your own and resolve them with a priority unmatched to all you ever experienced.

Yet, this very moment feels different somehow.

It has been years since you danced here together. Months since you danced properly at all.

Back then, there was envy in his touch, you so vividly recall. Affection in his words, concern in his thick eyebrows, fear in his dark brown pupils. Gems, is what they always were, and you would always fall for them; when you’d sneak up to empty rooms or hurt in vacant hallways.

When he was still younger than he is now, and you were, too; when you had so many other issues to forget about, the world seemed much bigger. Like there was hope somewhere out of these walls; and there was.

You were children so in love, inevitably possessed by a powerful force that never quite left you after that. The heartbeat, wild and thumping, never calmed.

All you used to be and all you remained is in your chest and in your mind. On your lips and in your words. No wonder everybody behaves so normally. Who could think otherwise than to be absolutely certain that your days are still the same as they always were?

Jungkook pulls up his arm gently, glove-clad hand lifting up to offer to you. He isn’t interested in conversing with others today. He allows a little greeting or a smile, but he doesn’t indulge in more or divulges his innermost emotions.

And they don’t bother. He isn’t trying, so they don’t either just yet; being a royal plants timidness in other people.

No, what he is focused on is your weak self next to him, knees as wobbly as many years ago. The palm shown to you is beseeching you to come with him, and to do him the honour of being his for another night.

You didn’t ever stop being his, but you don’t need to reveal this to him. Even when he nods a little, moving his hand up just a little to urge yours into it, you know he knows.

But you still accept with soft fingertips lightly kissing upon his warm hand, debunking all possible thoughts of doubts and erasing them out of his mind. And he seems relieved when you gulp down the stress, following your silent husband across the room.

You remain as wordless as you watch familiar and stranger faces float by. You nod when they do, pressing their digits when they reach for yours, a soft and quiet greeting with a smile or, on the other hand, a delighted, “Hello!”

You find your voice when you respond, find it when Jungkook does, reciprocating the others’ eventual, brave curiosity and joy upon seeing the two of you. Hearing him helps you bring your vocal cords back into swing.

And you feel as though you haven’t spoken for ages when you finally tell Jungkook, “You know…” He turns a little, not quite in the middle of the room just yet. “You used to be worried about me rejecting you.”

You aren’t sure why you’re saying this at all. Perhaps because he isn’t fearful of distance anymore — or at least, not the one he used to be afraid of. This is different. Back then, he was scared he’d lose a presence in his life that he hadn’t been able to call his own just yet.

Today, he knows exactly what he’d be letting go.

Maybe he isn’t overthinking it as much as you, though.

Because as you look at him, head a little tilted and carrying a big, dreamy mind, you lose yourself in his twinkle a bit. The smirk is crooked and saccharine, the same old as when the two of you met. 

There aren’t that many couples on the dancefloor yet when you reach it, but it seems that you two being one of the few to make the start helps. Inspires others; pre-wedding season is always an interesting event to witness. People are just waiting for an opportunity.

And when his hand reaches the small of your back, body close in front of you, you catch yourself taking in a breath too deep. You’re enthralled when he once again reminds you of the sugary undertone in his voice, so cautious when he says, “You know, I do not think I was ever worried.”

You lift an eyebrow. “You weren’t?”

“Well, worried would be the wrong word. I would rather argue—” He shrugs a shoulder, eyes drifting to the side, to the floor, and then back up to you as he scours his thoughts for a proper term. “You teased me, and I indulged in it.’”

You laugh softly, blinking slowly. Encouraged by the sound of it, he laces his fingers with yours, and you let him. Let him burn your skin through the gloves. Amused, you whisper, “I teased you?”

“You always did, did you not?”

You’re not too certain about this. If he is referring to your little sarcastic taunts, playfully threatening to keep his dance cards empty, he might be right. But you remember more than just this—

“You were the one to make short carriage rides adventurous,” you playfully accuse.

Another chuckle, and you’re nearly sold. As he twirls you a bit, leading you across the shiny floor, you find enough time for yourself to reminisce for a moment. Wherever you went, whenever the world called you to some nearby thing to attend to, his lips would find you.

Innocent or not.

Your clavicles, your neck, the spot behind your ears.

Or — your knuckles, your shoulder, your wrist.

People might have wondered how your love could bud this fast when only weeks had passed back then, but you knew and saw and felt it all. You never questioned any of it.

Jungkook says, “Maybe I should again.”

Hm…

“Maybe you should.”

Weren’t you just as breathless and faint back then, too? You think so. And you think he fared no better, did he?

He’d sigh, too, the moment you arrived at your destination, whispering promises and plans to you through similar symphonies as you are hearing right now. But even with the familiarity of the strings, reality has changed now.

Because as you rock, you don’t hear the cheerful music playing. The strings are dim in your ears and the dancing a reflex. Rather, for you, there is a piano in the background, keys singing the tune of what you were.

The more you talk and the more you listen, the more you see. Behind your eyes, fabricated by your mind, you register all the fleeting pictures of a distant yet vivid yesterday. And some of it still aches, but…

You can’t stop talking, and you can’t stop listening, either.

The nostalgia, paired with the movements dragging your feet across the floor and into his arms, keep catapulting you back to a place you know and one you crave to return to so deeply. But at the same time, you can’t be that young again.

You will always be in love, but you won’t feel the same sickening beginning again. Truths are harsh.

But are they always as thorough as you valued them to be?

Because if you can’t be who you were, why does your heart still hammer like this? If you’re so hurt, why do you still feel transported to another lifetime, like you never really left? As if you’re trudging and wading and crawling through it again to relive it all?

Maybe because you are. Maybe you never truly left indeed.

A voice interrupts your thoughts, the lights coming into focus again. Jungkook’s breath is close to your cheek as he hushes the words, wondering, “What are you thinking about?”

Yes, what are you thinking about?

You’re thinking about a plethora of things; none of which you can arrange into rational, lucid thoughts. Words don’t come easy to you these days, so you rely on what you feel. Rely on your senses.

On how he looks at you. How he touches you. How he speaks to you. And on how he moves.

You swallow again, hoping for your voice to overshadow the violins playing and the piano’s tunes taking form in your head. You tell him, “I am thinking about how gracefully you still dance.”

“Hmm,” he hums, “can that ever change?”

Your left shoulder lifts a little. “We don’t dance as much as we used to. But I suppose not.”

“Or perhaps it can change and I just find it easier with you.”

Your eyes expand a bit, but you don’t know if he sees it.

Easier with you.

With you, of all the people he has known over the decades. A life filled with touches so godless that you can barely wrap your head around still being the only one.

And you try to blend them out so badly. The thoughts of his body swaying as easily with somebody else’s, or hiding in another nook, far from creeping eyes. Feeling another heat on a chilly night.

You are truly trying to focus.

To focus on the heartbeat against your back when he releases you and turns you in his grip. For a moment, he holds you there, against his vest, the buttons cold on your bare arm. Your skin reacts, goosebumps scattered all over, helped by the proximity his lips come into.

They graze your ears, as if he’s doing this to you on purpose; as if he’s attempting to draw out the message your soul delivers. Responding with your name, spelled out by the pumping of his heart. He’s trying to make you receive it.

Every damn second, he has been wanting you to focus on him, and you have been. More so now than ever. On this and this only.

But it’s never easy. It hasn’t been.

You turn back in his arms. Even the piano fades a little now; you barely hear any of it anymore, let him lead you, relying on the pure trust you still put in him. It burns as much as all you see in those eyes of his.

Two tiny flames, red and orange, flickering blue sometimes. Behind them, a dark and sweet and gorgeous void; it still leads to his heart.

You have never seen this much love in anyone’s glance. Except for when he looks at your children, you guess. But this is different. The two of you are always, always different.

Jungkook loves you. Jungkook loves you with all he has and all he ever had and all he’ll be able to give. Jungkook intends to love you to your last exhale, and will love you into the next life; and Jungkook will wait for your soul in order to merge back with it someday, in the great unknown.

No matter who of you leaves this cruel world first — you have never caught him looking at someone like this. Like he will be sitting on his cloud impatiently on the other side, holding onto the fate bestowed upon you.

You know this much. You know the nature of the two of you because you are part of this constellation. So it should hurt less. Eternity should relieve you.

And he understands, too, that you’ll always be here, patient as he watches you come closer step by step, back to him. No matter in which universe and which time; he’ll be there, in an uncertain future and when humanity has changed into something far bigger.

But…

Right now, right where you are…

The same lights, the same light steps. The same love and the same scent announcing the change in season. This place and the memories attached to it; the fragility of your mind and the still fresh wounds to your heart.

They extend in size much too fast, much too ruthlessly.

You unlace your fingers when the sound ebbs down, just in a moment all too fitting to not raise much suspicion. The bodies around you are bowing, chattering, smiling. They don’t notice you.

So you step back by mere inches, parting from him with a frail smile. You offer a slight bow, as well, watching him imitate it with muscles just as feeble. You bring a hand to your face. Touch your cheek first, still feel the heat brushing your skin.

Then, you fan air against it, feigning the warmth that a near-summery event such as this often brings. They won’t know. You breathe out, as if overwhelmed by the heat, and then begin to walk away. But he realises your intentions immediately.

For a second, you see his mouth forming your name. Then, his voice changes, as if you’re the only one who can hear it through the crowd, adding a tiny, “Sweetheart—”

So aware of it all.

But you’re already stepping away because you can’t stop now. Because your feet won’t halt, their heels pressing into the floor as if they’re moving by themselves, carrying you away.

And because the wind outside helps, even if just a tad; even if only until his shoes clack against the floor, their sound all too known to you. He catches up to you right away; not that you expected otherwise. Jeon Jungkook would not stand there and let you go.

Not again.

You hear your name again, wondering about the next syllable to utter. Your mind is obscured, and you don’t want to say the wrong thing, no matter how obviously you just ran away. So you sniffle a bit and then suck in some air, as if to blame the now colder night.

It’s a lie. It’s still pleasant; you aren’t cold despite the still-present gooseflesh. Maybe that’s why you find it so hopeless to contain your silent cries or to wipe away that one stray tear as you respond, “Yes.”

And the moment allows some time again. Time to think back to more that you never experienced, that you’d rather still not be a part of.

Because you still can’t stop comparing. All you ever see is her when he never does. Whenever you think about how much he loves you now and loved you then, you remember that he was in the same halls with her, staring from a far end, hoping for something she could never grant.

That he stood at the same spots in this damned world as the two of you did many years ago — but without them ever further advancing. Because none of them could, not because they wouldn’t. Because they were veiled, forbidden.

You start to pour your heart out the moment you turn to him, at the end of the porch, watching his mouth open to speak. You aren’t prepared and haven’t written a mental speech, so you’ll need to improvise.

Which means, you need to shield yourself as you speak, expecting how pain-struck he looks when you begin, “My mind keeps saying…”

It’s already a miserable start; but Jungkook still urges, “It says what?”

“That,” you clear your throat, so absolutely fazed and dazed when his thumb reaches out, catching the tear only followed by many others, “that it could have been her. That she is still there and—”

You pause to breathe, looking past his shoulder. Nobody else is outside, and you see the crowd through the door. A pair of eyes or two peeks out, but you’re clearly not interesting enough right now. So they diverge their gaze again.

You don’t care about whether somebody sees. You only care about them possibly thinking that he hurt you. That the grand, famous son of the former, beloved duke has done something to break a heart.

You don’t want them to.

So you drop your head, keeping your voice in check as you try to add, “I am afraid that you might start regretting that it was not her.”

Jungkook silences. The lips so close to your ears before are locked now; not because he thinks you’re right or because he’s ever entertained the option of a reality where she replaced your role in his life.

But because he’s told you the truth so many times. Over and over; circling round and round. It won’t carve itself into your mind as it has onto his tongue, words repeated like crazy.

He pauses a little longer; much until you glance up. And despite each of his failed attempts at bringing you back to where you used to be, he refuses defeat and tries again—

“And does this not tell you otherwise? Does it not mean anything? This…”

The thumb wanders from your cheek to your jaw. “That it ended up being you and not her.”

You tilt your head again; it’s different now than from a couple minutes ago. Maybe you truly are being a tease. Giving him hope one second, crying the next. Asking things like, “What does it mean?”

You know. Of course you do. But you’re being selfish for the first time, waiting until he tells you, “That it was supposed to be you. Always, and even now. I can’t tell you how all the days without you pass, but I just…”

A shake of his head, a drop of his hand. His head falls like yours did, and he closes his eyes, bringing two fingers to the bridge of his nose to pinch it a little. You wait. His lips, full and pink, form a circle, breathing out, and then he says,

“I am running out of words.”

Maybe he doesn’t need to add anymore. The former ones still echo. All of them always echo.

The eyes looking at you and the whispers he utters. The stare that wants to bring you the stars. They want to freeze the moment, the wind, the clouds in place — it all echoes his heart.

“Jungkook…”

It’s all your strength allows.

And what else can you say at all?

You can only listen as he pleads again, “Please stay.”

What else can you do? You see him everywhere anyway, hear him all the time. The love never vanishes either way, no matter what the world does to crush you. And you don’t want it to.

You want to remember it.

Even if any of this came to crumble to pieces and left you with merely half of what you’re able to call yours. Even if one day, you were deserted and alone and started forgetting his voice or the way his hands moved or the warmth of his touch, you’ll remember this much.

The intensity of the burning in your stomach as it spreads, a wildfire that consumes. But if you’re smart enough, you’ll listen. You’ll stay. You’ll add to the memories instead of erasing them.

Build a world that’s both old and new to you and leave whatever you survived throughout these months in another universe, one that you didn’t ever live in but solely visited.

You were wrong. His name isn’t all that your strength allows. There’s more left in your wobbly, fragile body. A rising of your chest; a lift of your head, blinking of your eyes; and a step or two, enough to close the distance.

He’s pleading on repeat, the same little request that has accompanied you the past months. Still whispering a little, “Stay,” as he watches you close in, lodged in place because this time, it’s your feet dragging you to him instead of away from him.

You feel it in every fibre when your body collides with his. Head to chest and arms wound around him as if clasping some support to keep you afloat. Your legs, no matter how aflame your heart, are weak somehow; you might falter.

But Jungkook helps you fare better. Keeps you in place when his hand finds the small of your back, slowly, unsurely. Cautious as it drifts up your spine, leaving something in its wake that you missed so fiercely.

You need to stay like this. Just for a while. Perhaps tonight, if you don’t, you might die. With a feeling eating you up, blazing as it could get, and tears rolling down that you’re certain could be acid.

They have been for a bit; everything has been for a bit.

But right now, somehow, somewhat, they’re still as different as you prayed for them to be for so long.

That night, you don’t stay in his humongous mansion that is resplendent in this picturesque town of yours. In truth, Jungkook doesn’t spend much of his nights over there when you visit the place you once knew.

His mother and brother mind less, but to him, the bright walls are tinged with a darkness only he sees, perceptible under the touch of his palms and in the endless, empty hallways.

Instead, you spend an hour of the night staring at the door you grew up gazing at, big and comforting and closed, a portal to your younger years and turbulent moments. Just a minute walk from that door and down the stairs, there is an entrance that Jungkook once stood in front of, begging, stepping over the threshold to touch you just once.

To tell you what you needed to know, without his tongue ever working. And you remember bringing him back here one day then, with a ring on your finger and an arm slung around his. Listening as he told you, looking around, “So cosy.”

“Pretty?”

“Beautiful. And the scent helps.”

You smiled. You had given the kitchen staff an entire list of Jungkook’s favourite dishes. He is an omnivore; he will eat almost anything presented to him, never too picky. Before you were married, he had enjoyed every bite and every drop given to him.

But he was here as your husband for the first time, and you wanted to pamper him as much as he spoiled you daily.

He looked sweet as he sniffed, nose crinkled, dark, dark eyes so enthusiastic and happy. That moment had long killed all the pain you’d felt burning in your blood a year prior, and you knew he’d keep your veins clean and your heart pumping.

And today… years and years after.

It felt different as he came in. This is still his home, too. Your mother loves him. Your father loves him. Your sister, while empathic, no matter what past she shares with him, adores him as her brother-in-law, too.

And despite all the trails of dryness on your face, where the tears flowed, you love him, too.

His calm breathing behind you offers a source of relief. His warmth is palpable under the blanket, the mattress filled. When you came here with Hana last time, you truly noticed how big your bed was and how you’re not used to the space, how you don’t even want it anymore.

And when Jungkook moves, sighing, evidently turning, you close your eyes. If he notices, he will ask why you’re awake, and if you tell him why, you will cry, and you can’t cry again.

Too late, though.

He knows; but he doesn’t ask.

What he does do is touch your waist just a little. The fingertips send a shiver up your sides. Gentle goosebumps and a fiery pain, well-known but so far away that it catapults you back to what you were.

Your throat is clogged when he, well aware of how awake you are, analyses the pattern of your breathing so easily that you should’ve known you needn’t act. He whispers, “May I…”

You don’t answer. Not because you don’t want to, but because you can’t. You want to turn around and cuddle into him, so close to holding the side of his neck and pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

But before your body can react, he does, an arm slinging around you when you put a hand over his. He pulls you close to him, a trembling lower lip sinking to your shoulder, and your inhales break.

Quickly, you close your eyes, thinking of the wind in your hair a couple hours ago. It was balm to your heart, the way his hug was; but the sobs echoing in front of the porch added a couple stones to your heart, forcing it heavier.

All these months, you have suppressed your tears in front of him, but by now, there is no need to hide and to pretend. Jungkook never has. Even now, he doesn’t veil a thing — you know when you realise he’s crying, too, shakily breathing in against your shoulder.

Between the silent weeping, you hear his voice whimper. You’re carried away when he holds you closer, still grovelling, delivering a now-rare touch to your clavicles and your jaw, as if to feel your heart and your presence.

And then, he mutters, “I love you. I am so sorry. I love you so, so much.”

The words are quiet, drowned as he presses his lips deeper into your shoulder, into your neck. His tears fall onto your skin, and you shut your eyes tight, letting out the same liquid, mixed with a longing, quiet moan. You don’t need to tell him that you feel the same.

You know he feels it. Feels it in the way you grip his hand. In how your head turns to his, and his fingers pinch your chin, and in the way you look at him. How you let him kiss your nose. Your lips.

In how you finally do put a warm palm to his neck, grazing the hair in the nape of it, mouth close to his as you shut your eyes before he does.

You remain and cry and hope and love until he falls asleep, and you follow.

You basked in the breeze.

It was scented and gentle, like the back of loving fingers caressing your cheeks. The sky was nearly cloudless; spring was slowly setting in. When you had walked the distance to this very spot, the wind howling in your ears had soothed you somehow.

Softly and sweetly; a desired change, along with the welcoming sun rays kissing your face. Warmth and love, a dress swaying. There was something about this world you breathed in that resembled a girl’s fairytale dreams.

So you didn’t mind the bugs or how ticklish the ankle-high grass made you or how hot it was getting by the hour today.

You wanted to be here. You wanted to be surrounded by the old trees, gazing at the paths between them leading to where you stood, amidst the butterflies and flowers and underneath the azure sky.

You were alone.

Saturdays were busy for the mansion and the village; people wandered about and tended to their businesses. Sometimes, they’d indulge in low-labour days and wander to this place. Some of those who could afford horses, would ride here with their kids, take a walk to breathe in the season and the worldly wonders the edge of your town offers.

But not today; and you were thankful.

You kicked the earth underneath your feet, the low boots not high enough or protective of your skin beneath the dress. You had fled from the mansion and the conversations going on. Jungkook was in the parlour and the children were playing with the nanny.

You guess this was the place to be. So you tucked your hair behind your ear, looking around the empty space, and then took a seat despite the wildness of the field. Plucked the grass.

Jihyo was probably still sitting in front of him, legs not nervously pressed together as she used to do when she visited. She crosses them now, her back a little more bent than usual, comfortable with her son and the man she once knew.

When you left, they were still exchanging pleasantries, but you knew it wasn’t long before they’d get to the business he’d promised her. Both of them pleaded with you to stay. To listen in and make decisions with him.

He held your hand until you retracted it, fingers left in his hold, and then, you pulled back entirely. 

You were terrible at being there. And you were terrible at being away, too. But the wind engulfed you with some solace at least, and this was only half as worse as the stifling air in that one room. Invisible thumbs pressing into your neck.

But this town, this village — they weren’t big. And your staff, and Jungkook, and the people knew you.

So you shouldn’t have been too surprised when she found you here, too. When you heard her voice close and recognised it immediately, swearing that the field was empty just a moment ago.

She was slow, careful. She knew you by now, at least a little; but she still always approached you as if she was waiting for an outburst, well aware that you weren’t going to snap again. But she saw a deep fault in herself, expected to be thrown out at some point.

But you wouldn’t; you never did. If you wanted to, you wouldn’t have found this very hidden spot that she’d located so easily.

Hands folded in front of her body, she smiled when you looked back at her, alarmed by the steps in the grass. You managed a little smile, just as savvy of the fact that she was harmless as she was. You didn’t hate Jihyo; but you were still wounded, insecure.

Squinting into the high sun, eyes hidden behind some of her strands swaying in the wind, she nodded towards you, standing over you before she said, “We are done.”

You reciprocated her nod, telling her, “That’s good.”

“He is giving Minjun a bit of his time, so I left. I have been wanting to find you for so long, but you always disappear.”

Of course she’d noticed. Jihyo, despite her faults and stupid mistakes in the past, wasn’t dumb in any way. She was a woman, like you, deeply tenderhearted and understanding of what swirled through your mind in her presence.

She knew that if she was you, she’d be hurting the same.

Yet, you told her, “I apologise.”

“There is no need.” Small pause, and then, “May I?”

She pointed to the spot next to you, asking to take a seat in the middle of a field that you didn’t own. Not like this; she didn’t need to ask. But you still nodded, shifting a little to the right, even though you didn’t need to.

Putting both hands under her thighs, she tucked the dress under her bottom and sat down, legs folded and fingers immediately grabbing some grass to toy with. She asked, “How are you?”

You puffed out a tiny breath. What were you supposed to answer? The shrug of your shoulder accompanying your seeming pondering was redundant, because you knew the answer very well. What good did it do to put on an act?

You responded, “It might take a while to feel like myself again.”

It was enough as an answer. She nodded once again, one eye still pinched shut as the noon sun stung in it. “It does take a while. Life would hurt less if it didn’t.”

“My mother says hardships build character.”

“Yes?” she wondered, letting out a little chuckle. Her digits wandered from the grass to her dress, picking at a stray thread. “I don’t know. I think it wouldn’t be too bad to evade these hardships. Does the character really need to be built?”

You sighed. “Right? I do not reckon I need to evolve as a person if I can just be happy.”

“Right,” she repeated.

She silenced again for a moment, the quietude broken by the whistle of the breeze. You breathed in, thankful for the oxygen so different from your hometown. You were thankful for a plethora of things around here and this was one of the aspects topping the list so easily.

Jihyo tongued her cheek and you watched for a second. When she noticed you staring, she smiled again, adding, “I appreciate your honesty. You do not need to talk to me at all, but you still do. Thank you.”

“Well,” you began, offering a tender smile, “it kills me to not be honest.”

Which was true, but not quite.

It wasn’t that you had been lying to Jungkook; you were just constantly burying your actual thoughts. What you felt and what you thought and what you needed. You felt odd about the moments you shared with him, and often waited for the right situations to be vulnerable.

It was killing you to not verbalise your mind, but you still powered through.

“I can see it,” she still admitted, “I see it even in your face.”

You were sure she could. Your face often felt contorted. Even if you wanted to, you were certain you couldn’t quite hide the emotions your brain elicited; it would always show in the eyes first. Windows to the soul and whatnot.

Did his eyes reveal the same to her? Did she see any of what she had so many years ago?

When he found out about her morals, when he felt the pang of pain in his chest back then, did he look similar to her? Or did she see a difference now?

Your stomach churned at the thought of this.

Words at the tip of your tongue, you chose to let them tumble, and asked in a voice so fragile, “How was he back then? Jungkook.”

Jihyo thought about it for a minute. Looked at you. Then gazed back down; without meeting your eye now, she said, “…Hurt.”

“Hmm…” you voiced, uncontrolled with your following words, seeking answers. “Then, he must not look different now. You know him like this, do you not?”

Another second to evaluate your question.

Your heart beat in your throat, and you let your head fall, understanding her answer until she spoke, and you realised that you actually didn’t, “I am not sure. For one, I did not know how to heal him. Back then, it was not just me. His emotions had to do with something much bigger than what we had.”

You only stared.

Your eyes begged for her to elaborate, and she did.

“He was hurt, but for another reason. Back then I was the distraction from his problems and he fell back into them once he stepped out of my life. But…” She hesitated, fumbling for words. “But you are the main reason for his heartache.”

Her words hurt deeply and violently. They had long been sitting in a space so concealed, but they floated to the surface now. As she voiced them, there was no way to deny them anymore; even if you weren’t at fault, and even if you understood your pain, validated it every day…

It was no lie that he was hurt because of you, too.

“Yes…” you confessed, your voice tiny and pained.

Maybe Jihyo understood what she had just uttered and how you’d taken it, because she shook her head in the next moment. Clarified, “Do not misunderstand, I don’t mean this in a bad way. Just that—”

She was struggling; was attempting to not be the source of your ache again. She inhaled deeply, and then tried again, “There is a big difference between me and you and his pain between us. With you, it’s so much more profound. If he can hurt because of you, and only hurt because he had lost a distraction all those years ago… doesn’t it reveal his true feelings?”

You didn’t answer. You needed to digest her words; eyes drifted to the ground, and you repeated them in your mind. She leaned into you, touched your elbow ever-so-gently. “Does it not?”

You tucked your hair loosely behind your ears. Partly, because it kept covering your eyes; partly, because you felt shy all of a sudden. Not the way you used to. Rather in a familiar in-love-way, yearning for somebody who was waiting for you just the same.

Somebody adored you for who you were, thankful for every damn breath you drew. There were moments of realisations like this; when you rethought your life and once again understood who it truly was who fell for you.

You were lucky, you thought, to be the one to be worthy enough to be loved by him.

“You’re right,” you soon agreed, “of course… of course you are.”

Jihyo didn’t answer right away. Your conversation was shaped by certain awkwardness, but it was drenched in support, too. You didn’t think you’d find yourself here, but realistically, you also knew that Jihyo wasn’t quite a bad person.

She had hurt, hadn’t she? Every woman deserves a love she can be proud of; Jihyo had never experienced it until now. Not when she hid with Jungkook in vacant rooms. Never meaning to hurt anybody when she broke into your life.

You wished you could despise her for her flaws, but you couldn’t.

Not when she looked at you like this. Those gorgeous, dark eyes so sweet, eyebrows knitted together just a little. Arched, pretty lips in a small smile, but the distress so obvious underneath her expression.

She said, “I don’t want to come in between you. I never wanted to, it’s just that…” She gulped. You already knew what she’d say and you nodded, but she explained anyway, “I need to ensure his safety. I wish there was another way.”

Perhaps there was. But no easy one. And maybe she was right anyway. If not the father, who else?

“I wish there was,” she repeated, “but as soon as I have figured it all out… I will be gone.”

The shake of your head came quicker than you would’ve assumed or expected. You surprised yourself when you defended, “But Jungkook deserves a relationship with him, too. I don’t want to take it away.” You gazed down again. “He wasn’t part of his life until now, but… can you or me or he really abandon that? Minjun is still his… his blood.”

You choked out the last words, suppressing the urge to hold onto your chest, to grip your heart and protect it, so it didn’t bleed through your digits. What could you do, really? You could’ve agreed, told her to pack her things once things were resolved.

You wished you were selfish like this; you knew Jungkook would’ve been for you if you just told him. But you couldn’t. It wasn’t fair towards anyone.

“Then…”

Jihyo’s gaze was intense, trying to communicate verbally. Maybe she knew it was hard to find the right words at the right times; she wasn’t bad at it, but it didn’t come to her naturally either, like the way it did for Jungkook so often. And he had said many times that it did for you, too.

“Then you might need to find a way to cope,” she threw out, “or to… to not hurt anymore. I’m wrong, I don’t want you to cope. I want us to stop hurting. Because I respect you.”

She let out another breath. Her hand moved in place, and you knew she was trying to reach out, holding back until you did it for her. Put a palm on her fingers. She continued, “And I do not want to lie… I am fond of you.”

Maybe because she understood. Or because, at heart, she knew you were good. Worth respecting. You wanted to hurt others just as little as she did.

You nodded, responding, “Thank you. I— I am fond of you, too, just not… of—”

“Of the situation itself. I know.” You agreed with another nodding gesture, nibbling at your lower lip for a second. Jihyo sighed. “Realistically… without lying to yourself. Do you want to leave?”

Did you? Of course not. If you’d wanted to, you would’ve. But you were too weak to fall out of love with him. Or maybe, in truth, this was one of your strengths.

Compassion. Care. Forgiveness. 

You never thought it took much to love him. But it always takes a lot to compromise, to fight through issues and circle back to love. Were you strong enough to do this?

Maybe. Probably.

Because it was him. Come on…

It was him.

“No,” you then said.

“You love him,” she stated. Not a question. A solid observation; anyone would see.

“I do.”

“…Would you regret staying more or leaving?”

Asking the right questions. Then again, the answer didn’t take much thinking. Your instinct knew, and your heart knew, and every overthinking thought, once cleared, would give way to one and only answer.

So you acknowledged, “I do not know how to leave him.”

And that was it.

Jihyo didn’t say more than that. She leaned back, one single nod, palms against the sharp grass; she didn’t seem to bother.

She stretched her chin towards the sun, indulging in the start of the spring. You saw a ladybug crawling up her clothed leg, but she didn’t pay it any mind. In fact, she didn’t utter anything at all anymore. Because she didn’t need to.

You knew, and she knew.

Because whatever she could’ve said, you already saw. Her silence divulged it.

Quietly, wordlessly made clear to you—

“Then you know where this will eventually go.”

The corners of your eyes are dry, somehow crusty when your lids flutter open the next morning. You guess that’s where the liquid traced down your face and left your skin to desiccate.

Your left side feels airy and empty, and when you turn, you see it devoid of a presence indeed. But there’s a soft, close rustling and whispering that you soon detect to be the man that priorly deserted the bed.

He’s standing close to your childhood room’s door, throwing a thin, baby blue coat over his shoulders. It’s reminiscent of the royalty he is.

His eyes meet yours in time as you blink at him, sad yet dreamy. The desire to act upon the emotions that the dream — no, the memory — called forth is vigorous. Like an invisible force, urged by the girl you expected it from the least.

She was right, you knew where it’d go. Perhaps you just needed more time; to heal, to come to terms with all the change around and inside you.

And you want to leave it behind and want to pull him back to you; but as his eyes flicker with an already established plan, you hold back, listen as he verbalises it, “Get dressed, my love. We shall go out today.”

“Out? Where?”

“Let me lead you. I wouldn’t want to ruin the moment.” And then he turns away. Adds, “I will wait downstairs. I will give you some time to get ready.”

He nods once towards the general direction of the house’s exit, hand already on the handle of the door. You start, “You can stay if you—”

But he sighs, not in annoyance but amusement. His mouth curves into a smile before he chuckles a bit, pushing down the handle. You silence, but he doesn’t leave before infiltrating each of your thoughts when he says, “I know you are fine with this, but—”

Just one more time, he turns to you, “But I want to revisit it. The moment I saw you and felt it for the first time.”

He doesn’t need to specify what it is, because you remember, too. The excitement seconds away from the door, when you’d rush to open and put your gloved hand into his. He’d bow and kiss your knuckles and offer his arm.

And you’d stare. You’d keep staring. Would marvel at the sun reflecting in his eyes or the raindrops trailing down his temple or the snowflakes melting in his hair.

You’d admire and fall, freeze and burn. Would wait for a single moment in a vacant corner, anticipate his lips closing in, holding the hand lifting to your cheeks.

The clot in your throat is thick as Jungkook leaves and shuts the door gently. And you, as lovesick as you have always been, let your legs dangle, for a minute tops before you hurry to find all you need.

Your maid helps you a little, tightening the corset and assuring you that Hana is still asleep. That your sister was planning on buying her toys today anyway, a certainly long trip. Maybe it was Jungkook who had schemed all this beforehand — it seems to work quite well.

Hana is never one to complain when it comes to her aunt or her uncle or her cousin.

You don’t notice how much time passes until you’re finished, a lock dangling on each side of your face and a summer hat sitting on top of the carefully mended hair. You only question what Jungkook did in your absence once you near the staircase.

Converse with your father? Flatter your mother? Soak in some of the sun, just outside on the porch, greeting passersby who must surely still remember him?

But it’s none of these things, really, and you should have known. Should have reminded yourself of the sincerity in his voice and the words he uttered as you awoke.

Because he’s nowhere near any of your family members; instead, he’s right there in the middle of the welcoming hall. Stands there like a lost but gorgeous, sweet puppy. Fondles with his fingers, a strand in his forehead.

His mane is as dark as his eyes when they find you at the top of the staircase, but they’re shinier, with a degree of affection you’ve known for years. So there’s something ancient in his gaze.

Something you knew back when life truly started. When he’d wait, just like this, and you’d walk down the stairs, as if descending to join him at the altar. Come to think of it, you think you remember similar sentiments in his pupils when you married him, too.

No, you don’t think so; you know. Hell might freeze over — you wouldn’t forget the way he looked at you, so vulnerable and in disbelief. Somewhat glad and relieved that you were there, putting his trust and his heart in your palms, yet expecting the worst.

You know that you taught him — to understand his worth and to see what he is to you.

And you see the same feelings now.

He knows you, knows you better than anyone. But he’s falling in love again. Seeing you again. Trying to mend what’s broken and finding an anchor in you, seeing the beauty one usually recognises in forests and waterfalls and colours.

You breathe in. Then out.

Keep watching as he watches.

His mouth is slightly apart, a bittersweet pain in his eyebrows, and once you reach him where he waits, you see him gulp. He dares not to blink as you take his hand, cherishes each moment and all he’s allowed to see of you.

Jungkook doesn’t need to say any of it. He has before. And even when he didn’t, you knew. He might have studied you over the years, but you know him better than anyone, too.

Strange, how your brain convinced you otherwise and planted doubts when you’ve never not been aware of the loyalty he always pledged to you.

But he’s so unwaveringly beautiful as you take him in. There is no moment in existence when he isn’t, but… those eyes. And the bridge of his nose, ending in that little button. The arch and curve of his lips and the moles you have kissed so often.

You’re breathless and taken when he smiles like this, madly insane when he says, “Not that I ever forgot, but,” he exhales, “I am incredibly lucky.”

Timid, you lower your head for a brief moment, fingers curling around his as you swallow the knot and tell him—

“Funny… I was going to say the same thing.”

You know the building. Know it like the back of your hand, even now.

“You brought me to…”

You look around, slightly blinded by the sun as you squeeze one eye shut. Some of the bricks look the same, some have been replaced. You didn’t realise how much you missed it here until now; not until the door of the carriage closes and it sinks in that he actually brought you here.

“The orphanage,” you breathe.

“You talk about them so much,” Jungkook says. Good — perhaps you did miss them and knew. But years passed. A new life started. Still… “We never got around to visiting this place. But I wanted to bring you this time.”

Your head turns to look at him. “Have you ever since you first asked to come to town?”

“Well… no,” he admits, “rather, I have wanted to for months. Before anything happened.”

You don’t know what to reply. There’s a little version of you in the back of your head, jumping in joy and tearing up at the same time. Another reminder of a million that Jungkook has always been attentive with you.

Maybe that’s why you fell just a bit deeper every day while other loves faded and wavered. Because Jeon Jungkook fucking cares. If not for anyone, then about you. You might die with this certainty embedded in your mind.

“Shall we go in?” Jungkook asks, and you nod, nervous and curious and so, so fond.

Once you’ve put your name in the visitors’ archive, the passage to the main hall is more or less empty, with a couple new faces passing you by. But once you reach the lovely place you’d frequent, watching spontaneous or carefully crafted performances on a small stage, names start coming to you.

It takes a second for them to perceive you. The orphanage can be a crowded place and random guests, especially unannounced, are not a given. You knew that back then, too. There are kind souls in this town, but the children are still not used to visitors.

They were used to you before you left.

And you see the month and year-long fondness they had set up for you once they do finally detect you. Some of them are new once again, but several you recognise. Just like you, they freeze momentarily, robbed of air.

For a second, they stare at you as if met with a forgotten ghost. As if they’re trying to place you into a fitting category in their lives, figuring out when you were part of it until they finally get it.

A boy and a girl, fraternal twins, are the first to abandon their game of nine men’s morris and get to their feet. You wave with a quiet, “Hello,” and they lift their hands and open their mouths, wordlessly telling you that, “I can’t believe this!”

The boy, Chul, would always hug you back when you came here. He was still so young then and now he’s grown by one or two heads. It’s easy to tell who they all are despite the time that passed; the moles and movements and smiles are still the same.

Though they have grown into such dashing gems.

Behind the twins, you see more children rushing, but he’s the first to speak your name, taking off his ivy cap, “You… it’s been so long. So long, welcome—”

“It has been,” you tell him as you allow him to take your hand. He must be around sixteen now. “Way too long as I can see. When did you start sounding like this?”

He laughs, looking around to the other kids and tells you, “You missed quite a lot. I even choose my clothes myself now.”

His sister chimes in, “Yet he’s not mature enough to see how awful they look at times.”

It is a joke, but you can’t help but feel a little sad. Even all those years ago, these two would bicker, playfully insulting each other’s intellect and appearance as siblings knowingly do. But even today, you know that the mere reason for unfitting clothes is the lack of resources at times.

The orphanage tries its best, but it can’t defy worse times. Chul is tall but on the leaner side, and the shirt is slightly too big. One day, you hope they can find a life outside from here, shape something they have dreamed of.

“You will grow into it,” you tell him, Jungkook quiet next to you, and pat the boy’s bicep, “you already look so much stronger.”

Chul blushes, carding his fingers through his chocolate brown hair. “I do try my best.”

Your eyes fall to the back, to a girl with lifted eyebrows and an absolutely delighted expression. Easily recognisable, too. She used to have flaming red hair; somehow, it has darkened with time, only by a shade. 

But her eyes are still a rare green, as unique as all of her. Lily was one of the few children who travelled from afar, in her mother’s arms that she never got to meet, like most of the kids here.

You still don’t quite know which country she originally came from, and it took her a while to accept that she’d never meet who brought her here. Almost everybody struggled with this at some point, but it took Lily longer to come to terms with it.

She was always loved, though. You recall her being mature beyond her years, and even now, she seems so put together. She must be close to adulthood by now.

And she was also one of the girls speaking to you when you brought Jungkook here for the first time. Bittersweet and nostalgic; she embodies much more for you than just the sweet girl you used to know.

She reminds you of Hana a bit, though they have nothing in common. Perhaps it’s because you hope Hana will be just as amazing one day; heighten all the wonderful qualities she already possesses.

Lily steps forward, along with the others; you soon see that a bunch is missing. A lot of those you played with and talked to — but as the conversation continues, you soon learn that they left the orphanage when they were old enough.

Saved up from the work they did as they grew old enough and then travelled the country and cities to find a college, studied what they desired, established a life. Those you knew as older children back then are now probably somewhere, hopefully happy, finding joy in something new.

You feel inexplicably proud.

The rest is still here — hoping to follow in their footsteps. Different from you who disappeared so long ago. You said your goodbyes back then, but you were sure you’d return.

Life moved so fast.

The kids, soon finding themselves in a circle on the clean floor, facing you, ask where you went and how you were doing. What life was like away from here.

They’re sweet, these people. Didn’t mind folding their legs on the spot, but insisted on offering a blanket for you to sit on. Jungkook is close to you, just a few inches behind you, allowing you space and privacy with those you cherished.

But as enthusiasm in all voices grows, he speaks up as well, curious as he asks, “Do you all remember me, too, by the way?”

Some nod enthusiastically; others stare at each other, still young and even younger then. Jungkook picks them from the circle, cocking an eyebrow in faux-offense as he curses, “Well, damn. I shall remember this.”

But the twin sister, Eunji, shakes her head, reprimanding, “How do you all not remember? He was the prince!”

Enlightenment spreads over the others’ visages. Of course it’d take them a little. They have probably heard of the Jeon Jungkook, one of the main royals the town offers, but since he left with you years ago, they wouldn’t know his face anymore, would they?

They were so little when they met him first.

“I mean, I am not really a prince, but—” Jungkook starts, but one of the older ones interrupts—

“Well, you looked like one.”

Then, one of the youngsters that forgot, “You still do.”

Jungkook chuckles. You look over your shoulder, catch the crinkles around his eyes and the bunny grin; the way he lifts his shoulders some whenever he laughs. He looks much younger like this.

Like before. Like then.

“Wow,” his candied voice utters, “thank you so much.”

“Were you already married back then?” Eunji asks.

You shake your head. “No, not for a while still. I invited you, did you forget?”

“Ooooh. I keep mixing up memories. But dang,” she teases, leaning forward, “so you fell in love when you brought him here, huh?”

You smile; see Jungkook blush. These are still hormonal, young adults. They’re probably roaming around, falling in love, too. No wonder they dig such topics so much. They didn’t care all those years ago.

But you’re delighted when you tell them parts of your and Jungkook’s story, conveniently leaving out pieces that concern nobody but the two of you. You must admit even: being here helps you forget some of it.

And as time passes, you reckon this was partly Jungkook’s intention, too.

Another girl, Hayun, hitherto quiet and listening, wonders at some point, “So why are you here?”

“I wanted to visit you,” you tell them.

The answer is easy and clear as day, though you weren’t the one to manifest the idea into actions. You don’t tell them that it is Jungkook doing this for you; that you would’ve come back for them, but perhaps not now, not with how life went for weeks.

But you don’t regret a moment. You’re thankful. If you could, you’d take his hand, squeeze it, silent gratitude, so he knows how you feel about all of this. And you’re determined to keep their smiles on, to return when you can when they ask,

“Are you going to stay?”

“Not for long… I will need to go home in a day or two…”

You could feel guilty. But you don’t; you’re not leaving for so long ever again. You adored all of them from the bottom of your heart. You won’t let all of what you came to feel be for nothing.

“But… if you’d like,” you begin and some of them straighten their posture, “I can stay here for a bit today. I will come back another time, too. Is that… alright?”

Their reaction is immediate. How did you never assume how much you mean to them, too? Of course you do. You were a frequent face and they learned to love it, to appreciate you deeply. Considering some of the lonely days they lived through, they’d never forget you.

Your waterline dampens, for the millionth time this week, and you blink it away. You won’t cry, not here, not now. They’re a source of joy, so you’ll show them this exact emotion, too.

“Of course!” they chime. “As long as you’d like. We’ll be here.”

But it’s hard, containing it all in your eyes. They must be seeing your glassy look, because theirs turns empathetic, smiles everywhere you look. Filling the seconds of noon, and then afternoon, with stories.

You’re baffled about how much has changed. Years ago, they’d tell you about their day and ask you for permission to braid your hair and draw with you.

Now, they reveal their first loves and tease you and ask about your children. And still, some of the moments are so familiar.

Because you remember that Jungkook sat next to you back then like this, too, and that he was silent, staring and caring and falling in love just like he is now. Seeing you for who you are and creeping deeper into your heart.

Things have changed and relationships have changed, but then again, they haven’t.

The young people the two of you were, flirting and rolling your eyes, pushing the other and then pulling them in. Swiftly into his arms, into his mind. You’re more mature now, but still in love, still one molten soul.

And you still see the same damn devotion when you recite a poem the children remember pieces of. You’re glad you still recall most of it, because they struggle with finding the words, reminiscing about how they loved it but not what it consisted of.

A belt of straw and ivy buds, with coral clasps and amber studs, And if these pleasures may thee move, come live with me, and be my love.

When you catch him looking, he doesn’t avert his eyes. They stay on you, aching and yearning, soft but so expressive.

There’s unspoken comfort floating between you, a sense of pleasure and beauty that truly moves you to your core, like ivy buds and amber studs, and you feel it perfectly.

Your heart — much closer to his chest than your own.

His hand is balmy in yours as it escorts you out.

The children’s day isn’t infinite. They soon find themselves busy with chores, apologising every now and then, and as the evening breaks in, you decide to leave them to their meals and tasks.

You have barely left, stepping into the carriage when you whisper, “Thank you.”

He squeezes your fingers, much as you wished to do before, and asks, “What for, love? This was long overdue.”

But you shrug, tell him, “Not just for this. But also for reminding me who I used to be.”

“You’re still who you were.” He nods a bit, a corner of his lips slightly jerking upwards. “If I saw anything today, then that you’re still you.”

“This is…” You furrow your eyebrows, not because you’re irritated but because you’re so deeply affected. Still sore from the knots in your throat, still wounded by the longing. “This is comforting… hearing it from you.”

He lets your hand go, fingers sneaking up to your face instead, cradling it. It’s not the first time, but the repetitiveness doesn’t stop him from vowing to you that, “Whatever you might assume… I will always feel the same about you.”

This isn’t what you are scared of; Jungkook has proven over and over again that he loves you more than humanly possible. It’s rather that—

“And I will never feel the same for anyone else.”

This. It’s this.

Your chin trembles and you start to give in, succumbing to the touch and the eyes and the memories. Your voice is shaky when you start, “I love you, Jungkook… I do. If there was—”

The shake of his head quietens you. “We’re not done yet.”

“What?”

“We’re not done,” he repeats, pinching your chin tenderly, “tell me all you need to once the night is over. I… I need you to be certain.”

You blink. “Certain about what?”

“About… all you need to be certain about. You’d know what that is.” Digits come back to yours, holding them again as the carriage starts with an unsteady jolt. “Only you.”

Yes… maybe nothing has changed as much as you thought.

“Back then you gave me time to think, too… Never rushed,” you say.

“I always will.”

“…Even though we live a human life that is so limited.”

“I will keep waiting.”

“I will be certain before the night is over, then,” you promise, breathe out the pain, “like I was then.”

He brings your knuckles up to his velvety lips, silky like your scarf as he presses a feathery peck onto them. They graze his cheeks and then his jaw, and you barely notice when your body drifts towards his when he speaks.

“Like you were then.”

As far as you recognise, you aren’t too far from your home.

Jungkook walked through a park and along a river with you, admiring the content fish and swans in its depths and at its shore. You didn’t come here a lot when you were younger; mostly with your parents, so there are memories attached to this place that aren’t quite his and yours.

Or at least, until now.

You assume Jungkook is giving the two of you the time you need, bringing back pieces of what was. But you don’t fully understand what it is and what he’s doing until you reach a bench and a spot you are very well acquainted with.

Jungkook’s and your name is clearly written in the sky above where you stand, like you own this place. Like it’ll be you who’ll be remembered by those passing by once both of you have left this realm.

The resemblance to the night you first spoke to Jungkook, many, many years ago when you were just kids, too, is striking. It’s when your initial enmity started; when you learned to abhor somebody you’d eventually learn to treasure.

And this… this is exactly where he first asked you about the odd deal. To be courted. When you stared at him in disbelief and dismissed him with a hundred accusations.

Why did he bring you here?

And why do you feel this way, as if things could truly be okay again? How does it all fit?

So you ask, “Why here?”

“Because… I don’t care which insufferable things we felt for each other,” he explains, “we started here.”

But I want to revisit it. The moment I saw you and felt it for the first time.

This is it, isn’t it? Jungkook didn’t just plan a random outing due to the pleasant day, the warm sun, the gentle breeze slowly introducing thunder and grey clouds. If he had, you’d have spent the day on a hill the two of you love, or strolled amongst a crowd.

No, Jungkook is retracing your steps. The ones you took several years ago, when you hadn’t each exchanged half of your hearts just yet. He wants to bring you back to a place of hopelessness and hostility, prove to you that sometimes, you can save a withering flower.

Or make something new bloom instead.

“We changed so much over time, no? I can barely remember what I used to feel that day,” he says; he’s right. You cannot even conjure fragments of the revulsion between you; it dispersed so quickly. “I can’t even believe any of the hatred ever existed at all.”

“As if we were someone else.”

“It seems like it, does it not? And then… now…”

Yes…

A shared mansion and shared offspring. A beautiful face choosing toys with her aunt and twins familiarising themselves with the grandparents they met too seldomly.

From there to here, from black to white. Then, to a hue of grey.

“As we started our life together…” Jungkook starts, his face more like ash now; the space between the clouds is narrowing. “Did you ever doubt the change? Remember how we were the years before.”

You would never dream of such a question or a thought. Would never form a doubt such as this in your mind. Even then, you were nearly blindly trusting, hopeful in people. You knew they were capable of change, because you weren’t the same anymore either.

“No,” you tell him, “I never thought you were a bad person at your core, but… it needed time for me to realise, too. And when we became what we are today, I knew who you really were. So no, I never did.”

You wait, watch him nod. He seems relieved but also nervous, distracted. Tells you, “I did a little. Doubt myself. I was scared that I wasn’t truly that kind person you saw me as. That I was still the same man plaguing you.”

“You never plagued me,” you promise, stepping near, an automatic hand finding his cheek. “You gave your all.”

“Do you remember,” he begins, halting when a quiet thunder sounds, “do you remember how scared I always was to mess up? Before Hana and anything.”

The books he’d read. The memories he’d carry. The conversations you’d have. Frightened to repeat or forward what he’d grown up with.

“I do,” you say.

“And you’d always remind me that I was easy to love… that effort is always worth it.”

“It is. It was for you, too. Our kids love you.”

The rain collects silvery in his waterline, at the same time as it does above in the sky. He’s harbouring something in this fragile heart of his — a dozen questions and a hundred scenarios. You know he’s hoping for a specific one, hoping for the right responses to all his inquiries.

So there is no surprise in the words he utters next, nor in the shaky fear in his voice, “And you?”

You're quick to answer.

“I will never unlove you.”

“D-do you also remember… how I’d always tell you how afraid I was you’d run away? Before I married you. How much I feared that I’d wake up and not find you anymore?”

“But you found me. I would never hide—”

“But I’m still scared. You reminded me that everybody’s worth loving, despite their mistakes and burdens, and despite all I let out on you or anyone else… you found a way to forgive me and love me. And I’m still scared because—”

His palms shoot up, too, holding your face much as you are holding his. He presses them in, pulls you closer, and you gasp soundlessly. Then, “Because none of this was or is ever a given.”

“I know, too, Jungkook,” you counter, “I never took you for granted. And you know it, you were never bad. Just…”

“Mistreated. You’ve told me, just… I chose to handle it all… way worse than mistreatment justifies. You never did so, no matter what or who hurt you because you’re the sound one, you know?”

“Jungkook, my coping does not have to align with yours, we’re different—”

“Yet, baby, I learned to be a proper human being because of you.”

“This is too big of a responsibility, Kook… it was never just me.”

“No…” he says, gulping, shutting his eyes for a second when another thunder rolls. Fitting spring evening for a blossoming yet blue couple. “I don’t want to attach my sanity to how you react to the things I do. I did this once and…”

He shakes his head, moving your hands with them. Your thumb brushes over his cheekbone and then sideways to his hair. He continues, “I don’t want my ability to make wise choices to be dependent on who you are to me, but…  I will never deny what your existence did for me.”

You nod, as if to pacify him; you do it with your children sometimes, make them feel heard and seen. It works with every human being. Jungkook is no different. He seeks your approval and seeks your love.

He sniffles. “Perhaps it wasn’t you making me decent but— it was you leading me back to myself.”

The sun is starting to set. You don’t know when time disappeared and rushed, but it’s almost invisible behind the pale sky. And now, the first drops fall, too. Starting slow but exploding quickly.

It’s a harsh reminder that, as a human being, you cannot repeat moments from the past. Even when you trace them back, they won’t come again; you won’t feel the exact same giddiness again.

But you can create new ones, more dizzy days.

Ones that resemble the night you stepped out of the orphanage, or any other hazy and dark evening that you spent wading through the shower instead of evading it. Or the moment you saw the duke’s son properly for the first time, sobbing on a lonely bench.

Whatever ghastly and foggy disappointment grew in your chest that very night a lifetime ago has long been replaced by guilt — guilt about not understanding better as a kid, not being able to elude the disgust that would follow your entire youth.

But most of all, sadness about how hurt he truly was and would continue to be; how you see something similar now, even though the situations differ drastically. Most of the issues from then have been resolved, and now he’s caught in something else.

Then again, losing somebody and dreading loss both induce fear, don’t they?

And it’s you who helped him last time; how deeply does the pain really run when his anchor is drowning, too?

You look around the world for a moment, lost in dreams and in your head. Jungkook calls your name, a distant sound as the rain patters onto your skin. It takes you a second to recall that you’re supposed to answer, and when you look at him, his voice is so terribly delicate—

“Do you remember?”

“…I do. All of it.”

“We’re living a new life now, aren’t we?”

“I guess we are,” you say, your hands falling a bit, grazing his neck to keep his attention and sanity just enough. “But a new life means rebirth. That does not have to be a bad thing.”

“It doesn’t,” Jungkook agrees. His hair is already soaked — when he shakes his head even a bit, the tips throw the drops into all directions. “But some things stay the same.” He stares up for a second, blinking faster as the sprinkle falls into his eyes. “The rain still connects us to the sky.”

He laughs when you do, suddenly and sweetly, breaking out of you. It has been a while. You keep your smile intact, but the chuckle stirs another emotion in you that you’ve kept at bay for the minutes you’ve stood here.

Glassy eyes find his, silence befalling the world for a moment barring the gentle storm. Then—

A sob.

It travels up straight from your throat, no way of stopping it, no matter how hard you try. Your voice stutters, eyebrows coming together, and his expression changes. Culpable, unforgiving towards himself.

His head sinks a bit, and you guess it doesn’t help when you admit, “Jungkook… I am so hurt.”

“I know,” he whispers; you’re surprised you hear him at all. “I am, too.”

“I’m so… why are my thoughts everywhere, Kook?”

Your desperation implodes and explodes, evident in every tone and tear. You hold onto the collars of his blue coat, tug yourself closer to him. You’re aching, but you need him nearer. Maybe you’ll spiral if he isn’t.

“It hurts so goddamn much to think about it, well knowing who I am to you, and… and I hate losing this part of my sanity,” you tell him.

“Do you…” he starts, swallowing. The state of his eyes resembles yours now; the salty grief is similar as it glides down his already wet face. “What do you need me to do to be happy? Do you need me go— gone?”

He barely gets the word out. Hesitates. So terrified of hearing your answer, unsure whether to take it back, as if it could make you forget he suggested it at all.

But you know Jungkook. He’d rather cut pieces of his heart and never mend them again if it meant bringing you peace and comfort.

The truth, though, is…

“How could I?” you mutter to the ground, not daring to move, like it could make reality dematerialise and throw you into one without him. “No matter the pain, I think that— that losing you would hurt more.”

His breathing accelerates. Some of the life he always breathes into you sparks anew, and he grasps your hand, lets you know that, “You’re not losing me. I’m right here.”

“What if this all, or I, ruin your life?”

“…How?”

“By being like this all the time, Kook—”

“What?” You shut up at the tone. He has told you before — he detests you accusing yourself of something when he messed up… always his words. “Do you know what’d happen if you left?”

You do. You don’t.

You have an idea of what happened when you were away, but he never told you all of it. If you disappeared for good, you’d possibly be met with a world with a Jungkook in it that you don’t even want to imagine.

“I don’t care if you ruin my life,” he emphasises, “I want you to. I want to sit at the fireplace with you and laugh and cry and fight with you. I want to see the kids grow, together with you. I want this. Okay… Okay?”

“I—”

“And I want you to keep remembering it all. How we started, how we grew, too. How I thought I’d die without you the moment I saw you walking towards me at the altar.” He brings your hands to his face as he always does, brushing your knuckles against his lips. “I… I can’t have this with anyone else.”

He moves your fingers to his eyes, and a moment later, you feel further wetness, the tears against your skin. He shakes his head, lets all he concealed for weeks flood out at once. You knew he was hurting, but he barely ever showed it as openly as he is now.

Just like you are. You remember — that he held back for you, died a bit every day.

“And I don’t want to,” you hear him whisper. And then, again. “I really don’t fucking want to.”

You’re speechless; if only for a second.

“This is… what you’ve grown to feel?”

“I always have,” he tells you through his trembling voice, a pitch higher now as he capitulates, “she was just— a fleeting memory of just one moment. And you are every second of my day.”

He has been occupied all these years — in every single nanomoment of every damn day and night, you were the main thought taking over his brain. Whatever he’s done, whatever’s he’s ever said, he’s done and said so for you.

Jungkook favours you over every existence in this universe, and you should have always known. No, you did. You were never an overthinker until the world turned upside down, until it forced dubious hesitation into you that you should’ve deemed irrelevant from the start.

Jihyo isn’t part of him anymore. He didn’t see you when she was. He didn’t see her now that you are. Does that very past matter more than this, though? This warm touch and the promises in it and the love in his eyes and the sadness in his lower lip.

“You don’t know who you are to me,” Jungkook says, not waiting for your query before he tells you, “you don’t know who you are at all, do you? Do you never see all the kindness and generosity? How selfless you are and how much you care?”

“Don’t you? See it in yourself, Jungkook?”

“This is what I mean. You’re so fucking forgiving, too, no? I—” Pause. Then, quieter, “Please forgive me…” He’s begging now, full on crying, closing in until his lips float over yours. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

Jungkook has kissed you a million times. But when he does this time, he adds emotions you don’t think you’ve ever felt his lips press against yours.

And you feel it all when he leans in, parted mouth colliding with yours. He’s been so afraid to kiss you; but not now. Not when every single one of your glances pleads for him to. Not when you’re not ready to break the rhythm, not now, not ever.

Everything is already blurry around you, but it seems to vanish now. You still register the glossy streets, the silver, misty air, but all of it seems unreal. And then, you finally close your eyes, give in.

None of this feels rushed, but it feels urgent. Slow and tentative, but also desperate and thirsty. The rain combines with your tears and slips down your faces, threaded through your hair and soaking your clothes.

But you don’t care. You don’t move. You need warmth. Need shelter. This achingly gentle, still and suspended moment where everything ceases to exist.

Only skin and rain and tongues and lips. Only him and how he holds you, pulls you in, uncaring of who might see or what they might say. This waited to happen. You know it did.

It takes minutes until you gasp for air, remembering to breathe, fingers in his hair and forehead against his as you realise that you will never be able to unshackle yourself from him. You’re here to stay, following his steps, entangled with him until you cease to exist, too.

You’ll keep running back until he catches you. And you’ll catch him when he hurries to you.

And as he exhales into the air, face half lit as the moon rises, you clutch his body to yours, his ruined clothes for dear life, cheeks searing as you tell him—

“I do, too. I love you, too.”

For a moment and for an eternity.

Seasons changed again.

The twins talk now.

And ever since they learned to finally babble, it’s all they’ve been doing. Hana loves the fact, but acts as if she doesn’t. She’s an undoubtedly mature child. Knows too much for her age, still forgiving — but her ego also still remains intact, especially when it comes to her brothers.

The care she grants them rattles your heart. Protective and loving and so giving. But the fights continue; your twins are as gentle as their parents, but they do not shut up when they feel like they don’t need to.

They confront you or their sister when needed. Probably got this from you, too.

So nobody is really surprised when Hana feels as thoroughly irritated as she does most days growing up with them, a whiny voice exclaiming, “I don’t want your carrots! Eat them yourself!”

The brothers have been dumping their vegetables onto her plate for the past seven minutes; half of their meal makes a mess on the floor. You usually don’t let them eat on your precious carpet, but the kids have been particularly sweet these days.

Absolutely and unwaveringly mannered at yesterday’s gathering especially. You were celebrating Hana’s eighth birthday; maybe they were too distracted by the pastries and the cake to fight, too.

But you’re too weak, too easy to convince. As strict as needed at times, but not entirely immune to their irresistible charm. And Jungkook… he’s a hopeless cause anyway when it comes to them.

“Stop this!” Hana yells, returning the already mashed baby carrots. She emphasises each word with each piece she throws back onto their plates. “Eat. Your. Veggies!”

“I dun want to,” Jaehyuk responds, and Jaehoon, following, imitates. It fully provokes her. “You like them.”

“I am done, Jae. Let me rest.”

You can’t hold back the sudden laugh, not even when she fights back with a sigh, leaning back. Acts as if she took care of the dozen chores in the mansion when she’s merely exhausted from the party. To be a child again.

“I need my quiet time,” she told you, and you furrowed your eyebrows in delight before you granted the princess what she wished for.

The sun is setting outside, though having been hidden for most of the day. It’s colder now, but dusk is still pretty. You’re thankful for this; thankful for it all. Because this time of the day equals Jungkook close to you.

Done with work. Hip to hip on the same carpet against the couch that you once kept your distance on from him.

But you long stopped thinking of this. Whenever you find yourself here, basking in the presence of your little family, you think of the precious moments before anything happened. In hindsight, however, not much changed in the extent of affection after all.

Because you learned to cope, learned to let go. Jungkook still meets Jihyo sometimes, forms a bond with his son, provides him with a sense of fatherly love. And you let him — you don’t feel insecure anymore.

“Daddy,” his girl calls, tapping his knee for exclusive attention, “say something.”

And the father, ever so diplomatic and peaceful, settles on, “Leave the carrots, okay? I’ll eat them later. Stop fighting.”

“Hear?” Hana voices, an accusing finger scolding her brothers. They offer a full grin, absolutely aware of their effect on her.

Your eyes widen when Jaehyuk randomly and without a good reason rebukes, “Stupid Suhana.”

“Hey, hey!” you reprimand immediately, cocking an eyebrow until they go quiet. Their attention shifts to their food innocently as you chastise, “Don’t say such things. And definitely not like you’re insulting the name.”

“We are because we dun like her.”

Another giggle from Jaehoon. The boy mostly listens; doesn’t pick a fight. But if it’s about his siblings, he’ll definitely be a culprit, too.

“You so do,” Hana defends, and you agree with a nod and folded arms, “now eat. Leave me alone.”

This time, they listen; resume to their dinner, but not before sticking out their tongues to her. She ignores them, fiddling with her fingers. When she looks at you, her head is tilted, eyes curious as they are all the time before she asks, “Where does this name come from anyway, Mama?”

“Oh…” you respond, shooting Jungkook a look right away. You tell her, “You should ask your dad. It was his idea.”

Her gaze shifts to him, and he hums; then explains, “It was your aunt’s name. So you’re named after her.”

“Oh. Can I meet her?”

Your eyes drift to your lap. You register the change in his undertone as he speaks on, “I’m afraid this won’t be possible. She’s… she’s not with us anymore, baby.”

Hana’s mouth forms a silent Oh. She’s empathetic, sad when she sees a dead bird or a sick cat. She knows to grieve, but she knows to move on, too — so she says, “Well then, I like the name. I think I was named after somebody great!”

“Oh?” you wonder. “How do you know?”

“I wouldn’t have her name if she was bad.”

Jungkook chuckles, and you resume staring at him from the side, quietly finding the hand on his thigh as he answers, “I’m sure she was. I have heard only good things.”

“Good,” Hana says, much at the same time as Jungkook adds, “If I could… I’d thank her.”

You don’t know who this statement is directed to. Perhaps it’s too complex of a thought to truly expand on for your children; perhaps he’s thinking out loud for himself. But Hana doesn’t ask anyway, even though she hears it.

Too distracted by Jaehyuk, the troublemaker, who pokes her annoyance back, and she slaps his hand away, sulking. You let them handle this — sometimes, it’s easier to get rid of a situation when you let it unfold.

Instead, your eyes drift back to your husband, and you wonder, “Thank her, yes?”

“Yes.”

“What would you say?”

From the corner of your eyes, you see Jaehyuk and Jaehoon leave their posts and march to a disheartened Hana. No matter how impossible they are, they don’t like seeing her anything other than joyful.

It warms her heart as much as yours, you know. Soothes it when they position themselves on either side, cuddling into her, eliciting a half toothless smile. You’re content.

Back to Jungkook in time, you listen, “What I’d say?” He turns his hand under yours and entangles both your digits. “Hm, I would say…”

He ponders for a while. Waits for the right words to come to him.

And then, a puff of air escapes, your heart swelling when his eyes soften with his voice, “I would try and word my gratitude towards her. It was her who showed me that even the worst people can care.”

“He cared for her.”

“He did,” he squeezes your fingers, shoulder to shoulder. “It was also partly her who saved me, even if she’ll never know. And it was her who brought me closer to you. I wish I could tell her.”

“I wish I’d met her even once, too.”

“I know.” 

He nods. The Suhana you never got to know hasn’t been a topic very often. As years passed by, your mind developed its own image of the Suhana you do know. Hana, Suhana.

But when she is, this remains a common phrase. The never-to-be-fulfilled wish to see her just once. A stranger who never even knew of your existence, let alone your name.

“Suhana was supposed to stay,” Jungkook then voices. “But she didn’t and still managed to shine such light onto us from up there. So yes… I would express my gratitude for the life she gave me.”

He sighs, as if remembering somebody from a distant past. “For the life I had the blessing to witness as a human being and… will have the privilege to experience for the rest of my days. I would thank her for that.”

You cannot stop looking. You keep gazing and gazing. In truth, you don’t think you ever stopped ever since you came back from that one healing trip from your town years ago. You kept gaping. Kept falling — again and continuously.

And he’s still beautiful. Still the same mesmerising entity you once married. The same bright smile, still somehow youthful, blindingly lovely when he gives you one even now.

You and me, in every damn life.

Fingers brush his hair back, and you ask, “How could you ever doubt your kindness?”

And in response, he kisses your forehead, “I don’t anymore, I don’t think.”

You beam back at him. Hook your arm with his, settling your tired head on his chest. You hear his heart underneath, like a lullaby with a steady rhythm, and wait for the children to grow fatigued enough to go to bed.

And after that, he’ll carry you to your room, you foresee it already. Will let you fall into feathery, tranquil dreams.

Then again, perhaps you don’t need to wait for any of it. Don’t ever need a slumber for it.

Because you already live in a dream. And you are one, too.

okayyyyy. i don't cry a lot irl at all, but i'm so weak when it comes to these characters. crazy that their story is finished (once again), but i truly hope you guys will remember them for as long as you can. i know some of you grew to love them a lot and i am so, so thankful, truly. 🤍

if you can, please do let me know what you think! i shall answer everything bc it makes me giddy af anyway lol so do give this a like, a reblog and leave a comment, and talk to me about it!! <3 see you with more taegularities shenanigans soon mwah

[tranquilreign]

the next step | oneshot

- © tranquilreign - all rights reserved | DO NOT STEAL, TAKE, or COPY any of MY WORK without MY PERMISSION.

pairing; jungkook/reader genre: fluff, smut, boyfriend!jk virgin!reader warnings; sexual themes, soft sex, oral (f. receiving), protected sex, awkward moments (it's normal), discomfort, slight pain, swearing, jungkook is so precious in this word count: 5.4k synopsis: you and jungkook have been dating for nearly four months, yet have never taken it to the next step. with valentine's day on the way, you try to fight your nerves and make an attempt to seduce him, with the help of your best friend, seokjin.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

You sat with your face in your hands, peering out through your fingers. Seokjin, your best friend, had dragged you into Victoria's Secret, tossing every piece of lingerie he could find in your size into your hands. You had told him that you were finally ready to take the next step with Jungkook, your boyfriend.

You had been dating for four months, and he couldn't have been more patient with you. He never pushed you to do anything you didn't want, even when you noticed his bulge straining in his trousers.

"Don't worry, baby. I can sort myself out."

He would reassure you that you didn't need to do anything for him, simply because he was turned on. You always felt guilty when you pulled away from his kisses, growing shy at the thought of it going further.

So, who better to go to than your best friend, Seokjin? You had asked him to meet up for coffee and have a catch-up. You had then dropped the question on him.

"No."

"Seokjin, please! I really need your help," you pleaded.

"No offence, Y/n, but you're a lost cause."

You frowned, pulling out 200,000 won. Seokjin stared at you for a moment. He snatched the money out of your hand and quickly counted it through. He hummed, nodding.

"Fine."

"Jinnie, you know red isn't my colour," you whined, holding up a matching set of crimson lingerie.

The sight of the revealing clothes made you blush. You felt mortified at the thought of Jungkook seeing you in something so minimal. Tossing the outfit to the side, you noticed Seokjin standing in front of you with his hands on his hips.

"If you're going to discard every one of my suggestions, I may as well not help you."

"Seokjin, you've thrown everything in this store at me. I don't really know what to do with all this. And I certainly can't afford it all," you explained.

"Well, obviously you're not going to get them all," Seokjin stated as if it were obvious.

You shrank in your seat, feeling embarrassed by his scolding. You were clueless about how to wear the extra pieces. Simply put, you didn’t understand.

Seokjin moved, grabbing one of the sets and holding it up to your chest. After a moment's thought, he threw it at one of the store assistants.

"These are simply no good," he scoffed, throwing another set at the assistant. "Samantha, we're going to need these set in black, white, green and red."

The woman nodded and hurried off to the back of the store. You watched in awe at how quick she complied with his request. You leaned forward slightly, placing your head in your hands.

"Seokjin, I told you red isn't my colour."

"Trust me, Y/n. Red is your colour," he reassured. "Come with me."

Seokjin pulled you up and escorted you to the changing rooms on the other side of the store. Samantha stood, waiting for you to arrive and handed Seokjin the items he had requested.

"Thank you, Samantha," Seokjin muttered, pushing you into one of the changing rooms. "Here." Your friend handed you every single set Samantha had found. "Change. And when you're done, show me."

"W-what?! I'm not going to show you," you stammered, subconsciously covering your chest as if you were already exposed to him.

"Honey, how am I supposed to know what is best for you if I can't see it. Besides, I've known you since we were kids. And the fact I'm gay."

You huffed, drawing the curtain and began to undress. Pulling your top over your head, you glanced at yourself in the mirror. Your bra dug into your sides, and your breasts were spilling out of the cups. You never could find the right size.

You unclasped your bra and picked up the black lingerie beside you. Staring at it, you felt confused about where the extra straps were meant to sit.

"Um, Seokjin, I don't really know how to say this," you confessed shyly. "I don't know how to put this on."

You were quick to cover yourself when the curtain flew open. Samantha had walked in and stared at you. She helped guide your arms into the bra and adjusted the straps, making it more comfortable for you.

"This part sits here," she explained, sorting the extra strap that sat underneath your bust. "And the other ones," she pointed to your breasts. "They are just for decoration; they don't serve any purpose."

"Right, thank you."

Samantha smiled and left the room. You turned around to look at yourself in the mirror. You were surprised at how beautiful your figure looked. Your breasts were perfectly positioned in the cups, and you appreciated that the straps didn't pinch or dig into your skin.

You were quick to put on the underwear, calling on Seokjin when you had finished. He entered, placing a hand under his chin, examining you. You looked around the room, awkwardly waiting for him to say something.

"Good. Next!"

You smiled gleefully, your confidence growing by the second. Seokjin walked out and waited for the next set.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

Two hours had passed by the time you finished trying on lingerie. After going through the many sets that Seokjin had picked out, he finally decided on three: green, black, and red. You attempted to argue with him about the red set, but to no avail; Seokjin's decision was final.

"They are already bought," Seokjin mentioned as you exited the changing room.

"Jinnie, you really didn't need to do that," you pouted.

"It's no big deal, besides, I just used the money you gave me. So really, I wasn't paying for all of it." You rolled your eyes, knowing that would be something Seokjin would do.

"So, where to next?" you asked as you both left the store.

Seokjin stood for a moment, pulling out his phone and texting someone. You were silent, watching him patiently, until he closed his phone and brushed his hair out of his face dramatically.

"We will continue tomorrow. We need to boost your confidence. So I've booked you in for a boudoir session."

"Excuse me?"

"Don't worry, Taehyung will be doing your photoshoot, so he said it was on him," Seokjin casually responded. "I'll see you tomorrow, Y/n."

With that, Seokjin left you on your own, mouth hanging open. Of all the things to help, he had to book you into the most extreme of them all.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

The following day had come around quicker than you had hoped. You were sitting in the waiting area of the boudoir studio while Seokjin was speaking with the receptionist. You fiddled with your cuticles, trying not to pick at them from nervousness.

It was nearly 2:00 PM when Taehyung walked out from the back of the studio to greet Seokjin.

"Hello there, Jin. It's been a while, hasn't it?" Taehyung greeted, giving his friend a tight hug.

"Tae, it's always good to see you. I apologise for this being so last minute, but Y/n here," Seokjin gestured to you, "is having a little trouble having some confidence in herself at the moment."

"I see," Taehyung said softly, observing your posture. "Don't worry, love. By the end of this session, you'll feel like a new woman." Taehyung was gentle and encouraging with his words as he guided you through the back.

You were surprised to see the various toys displayed on a small table to the side of the room. In the centre, multiple sets were arranged, showcasing a bedroom and a kitchen.

"We don't have to use any of the items I have here if you're not comfortable with them. However, once you get started and build some confidence, I think you'll want to give them a try," Taehyung explained.

You remained silent, your eyes scanning the room, absorbing everything. You felt uncertain about how to respond. This situation was so far outside your comfort zone that standing there made you feel foolish.

"Here, love, if you get changed into your lingerie behind the curtain there, I can get the camera set up. And if you'd prefer, there's a robe in there for you to put on over the top of your lingerie, okay?"

You only nodded, shuffling to the small room and glancing around. You were hesitant to change, trying your best to stall the situation at hand. It was only when you heard Seokjin's voice that you started to move.

"Y/n, you can't be wasting Taehyung's time like this. He has other clients today as well."

You had wrapped the robe around you, just as you moved out from behind the curtain. Taehyung smiled at you, placing his hand on the small of your back to bring you to the centre of the room.

"Now we typically do a full face of make-up. But from what Seokjin has told me, you prefer it light. Minimal foundation. However, I would like to do a skin-tint and a smokey eye if that's alright?"

"S-sure."

With that, Taehyung brought you over to a make-up chair and spun you around to look at him. He was quick with his work, but gentle. Applying little pressure to your eyes when he applied the eyeshadow. Not even ten minutes later, you were finished and ready for your photoshoot.

"Now, would you prefer your photos taken in the bedroom or kitchen first. Most ladies who are a little more on the shy side prefer the kitchen to begin with, as it's not as... intimate a room," Taehyung explained.

"We can go to the kitchen."

"Perfect," Taehyung beamed, gently taking your hand and escorting you to the kitchen. "Now, I just want you to relax, okay? I'll help you get into positions so you aren't overthinking anything."

You stayed quiet, trying your hardest to let yourself relax. Taehyung sighed slightly, seeing your stiffness. He approached you and gently grabbed your arms.

"I know this is difficult for you, Y/n. But it will just be harder if you don't work with me. Trust me, I'll take good care of you. That, I promise."

With that, you let your arms drop completely to your sides, nodding. Taehyung smiled, gave you a quick thumbs up, and handed his camera to Seokjin. He motioned for you to take off your robe, and you did so, reluctantly.

"First, we'll get you up onto the counter and have you lying down."

You climbed onto the countertop, following Taehyung's instructions. He asked you to prop yourself up on your elbows, bending your leg furthest from the camera while keeping the other leg straight.

"Perfect, now finally I want you to just let your head fall back, okay? Look straight up at the ceiling," Taehyung finished.

You looked up, staring at nothing in particular. You started to laugh at the awkwardness, but Taehyung loved it.

"Brilliant!" he praised, snapping as many shots as he could.

Over time, your confidence grew as you began to enjoy the photoshoot. As the session continued, you moved from the countertop to one of the chairs, sitting backwards with your legs spread wide.

"Beautiful, Y/n. Beautiful!" Taehyung beamed. "Your partner sure is lucky indeed."

"I would like to take the rest of the photos in the bedroom set, if that's okay?" you asked, smiling hopefully.

"Of course, love. Just make your way over and we'll get the lighting moved for you."

You walked over to the bed and sat down, waiting for everything to get set up. Taehyung once again, instructed you into position, sitting you on the floor to begin with.

"Now, if you could bring your arms up over your head, and bend one across the way. Yup! Perfect."

The camera flashed repeatedly, capturing your beauty from every angle. You had caught sight of Seokjin, who was giving you the thumbs up.

"Great, now if you move onto the bed. Would you like to try some of the toys? Maybe if we have you put on the handcuffs and maybe a blindfold?"

You nodded eagerly, showing your enjoyment. Taehyung and Seokjin laughed as they gathered the necessary items. Taehyung carefully tied the restraints around your wrists, checking in with you from time to time to ensure they weren’t too tight. Lastly, he placed the blindfold over your eyes gently, being careful not to mess up your hair.

"Right, I'll need to move you myself into position. Is that alright with you?" Taehyung asked.

"Of course," you responded.

Taehyung was careful where he touched you, making sure not to touch anywhere above your knees when moving your legs. He stepped away once he had finished, and you heard the snapping of the camera once again.

A few more positions and toys later, you had finally finished your session. Taehyung allowed you to get dressed back into your regular clothing and called you over to look at the photos.

You were stunned by how beautiful you looked. Your confidence shone in the images, and it was clear you were having fun.

"I'll print all of these and send them to you in a couple of days. I just need your address." You wrote your address down on a notepad Taehyung had handed you.

"Thank you so much, Tae. I really appreciate you doing this for me. Are you sure there's no way I can pay you for this?" Taehyung laughed.

"Don't worry about it, Y/n. Working with you was payment enough. You would be an incredible model." You smiled shyly at the compliment. "I'm sorry to rush you both, however, I have another client due in five minutes."

You hurriedly hugged Taehyung and bid him farewell as you and Seokjin exited the building.

"I'm really proud of you, Y/n," Seokjin smiled. "You've already come a long way."

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

A few days later, Seokjin got in touch with you again. This time, dragging you to a salon, having you booked in for a manicure, pedicure and getting your hair styled.

"Jimin~" Seokjin cooed upon entering the salon. You followed behind quietly, allowing the two men to greet each other before introducing yourself.

"Seokjin!" a man beamed. He was shorter than your friend, but a very beautiful man. Shimmer glittered his eyelids and cheekbones, enhancing his features. "And you must be Y/n. I've heard so much about you!"

"It's lovely to meet you," you said, holding out your hand.

"Oh, honey, we don't do that here," Jimin teased, pulling you into a hug. "And I most certainly don't bite."

Jimin escorted you into the salon chair and fluffed your hair, examining it. He hummed quietly to himself, pulling strands of your hair in front of your face, trying to imagine the perfect style for you.

"First, we will get your mani and pedi done. Then I'll have you back here for your hair. Sound good?" You nodded, hopping out of your chair and into one at the manicure section of the salon.

When you returned to Jimin, you had a new set of French-tip nails that matched your pedicure. He beamed upon seeing the matching set, praising his co-workers for their expertise.

"Now, honey, if you just sit tight, I'll get your hair looking brand new. Trust me, you'll love it."

Jimin had begun his work when your phone buzzed. Looking down, you noticed a message from Jungkook. A smile crept onto your face upon seeing his name. You unlocked your phone, opening the message.

'Hi baby, I know you know I don't do Valentine's Day, but I booked us a table at that Japanese restaurant you love so much. xx'

You smiled reading the message. Normally, you would be ecstatic about this reservation. But this time, you wanted to focus on him only.

'Hey. I actually have something planned for us already. Would you mind cancelling the reservation? xx'

Ping. He responded immediately.

'Oh? What are we doing?'

'It's a surprise. xx'

You giggled a little, catching Jimin's attention.

"Is that the boyfriend, honey?"

"Yeah, he's asking what I have planned for us on Valentine's Day," you laughed a little when Jimin grinned.

"Jin informed me of your boudoir session yesterday. He mentioned how well you had done, despite you being so nervous to begin with," Jimin smiled warmly.

"Yeah, I wasn't expecting to have so much fun with it, and to enjoy feeling myself? I guess?"

"Well, from what I've been told, you expressed confidence Seokjin himself had never seen from you. That's a big achievement," Jimin explained, pulling your hair in different directions, making small cuts.

"I honestly wouldn't have any confidence if it weren't for Seokjin and Taehyung. And you, of course."

"Your confidence comes from you. No one else. Taehyung and Seokjin just helped you realise your potential. It was you who made it happen."

It was only ten minutes later when Jimin had finished your hair. You gasped, impressed by his styling and his swiftness.

"You're very lucky, Y/n. You're hair is already so luscious and healthy. I just needed to shape it a little bit," Jimin explained, placing his hands on his hips.

"Thank you so much. I appreciate you doing this for me." You moved to take your purse out when Jimin stopped you.

"Oh no, honey, this is on me."

"I can't have you do that. Taehyung did this yesterday, please. If you won't take a full payment, at least let me tip you," you pleaded, holding out 30,000 won.

"Fine, but that's all you're allowed to pay," Jimin scolded, playfully tapping your head with a magazine. "Now go, enjoy the rest of your day, and have a lovely Valentine's Day."

"Thank you, Jimin. I'll be back next week for my haircut, and all the details," Seokjin called, earning a smack on the arm from you.

"Jinnie!" you frowned.

"Oh, like you won't tell me everything that happens the next day," Seokjin fired back, making you go quiet. "That's what I thought. I am your best friend after all." You laughed lightly.

"That you are Seokjin."

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

Valentine's Day had finally arrived. You paced back and forward in your bedroom, waiting for Jungkook to arrive. Everything that Seokjin had taught you had gone out the window. You were overthinking. It was one thing to be confident in yourself and even find yourself sexy.

But having your partner think that of you was completely different. You had spent forty minutes deciding on what lingerie set to wear, calling Seokjin frantically.

"Y/n. The red one," was all Seokjin said before he hung up, leaving you to yourself. You didn't agree with him, but still put it on nonetheless, trusting his judgement.

Your makeup was simple, yet sultry. A robe was tied loosely around your waist, and your hair was as perfect as the day Jimin had styled it. You looked perfect, but you didn't feel it.

Your head snapped to the sound of the front door opening, indicating Jungkook was home.

"Baby? I'm home."

"Now's not the time to get scared," you told yourself.

Quickly, you tightened the belt around your robe and grabbed the envelope on your bedside table, which held the boudoir photos. You quickly pushed your hair out of your face, sitting down on the bed and crossing your left leg over your right, making sure to expose your thighs.

"Baby?" Jungkook asked, opening the bedroom door.

He stopped when he saw you, surprised to see you the way you were. You attempted to use the envelope to fan your face slowly, but with your nerves getting the better of you, your fanning was becoming more aggressive.

"Are you okay, Y/n? Did you not hear me come in?" Jungkook asked, pulling off his jacket and placing it onto the bed.

"I-I'm fine," you stammered. "Just a little warm," you added.

Jungkook looked at you quizzically. He went to unbutton his shirt when you suddenly stood up. He halted, watching your movements closely.

"I actually have something to show you." Your attempt at sounding sexy was backfiring, making you feel foolish.

You went to untie your robe when you ran into a problem. It was too tight. With your back to Jungkook, you fiddled and tugged at the belt, a poor attempt to untie it. You cursed un your breath.

"Baby? Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yes. Yes, I'm fine," you responded, your voice failing you as tears began to well in your eyes.

Jungkook recognised the tone of your voice immediately and made his way over to you. You shrugged off his hand when he placed it on your shoulder, growing more frustrated.

"Darling," Jungkook cooed.

You stopped, allowing tears to cascade down your face, accepting you had messed everything up. You spun around, burying your face into Jungkook's chest as you cried. Jungkook was confused, but he stayed silent, running his hand through your hair lovingly.

"Tell me what's wrong, baby," Jungkook comforted, leading you over to the bed and sitting you down. He knelt down in front of you, his heart breaking at your tears.

"I-I just wanted this to be perfect," you choked.

"What did you want to be perfect?"

"I was finally ready. I wanted- I wanted to fully give myself to you," you sobbed, your head hanging low.

Jungkook finally realised what was happening. He couldn't help but smile at your efforts, finding it cute that you would go to such lengths for him. He placed his fingers under your chin and tilted your head up to look at him.

"You don't need to do any of this for me, baby. I love you just the way you are. You're nothing short of perfect."

"But I had done all this for you. I just wanted it to go right," you sighed, wiping away your tears with the sleeve of your robe.

"Well, how about we start again? I'll help you get this untied, and we can go from there. But only if you are sure you want to do this," Jungkook stated, seriousness in his eyes.

"Yes, I want to."

With your verbal consent, he pulled you to your feet and allowed his hands to move from your shoulders to your belt. With ease, he untied the belt. He looked at you one more time, silently asking if he could continue.

You moved your hands to the opening of your robe, pulling it back and allowing it to fall off your shoulders to the floor. Jungkook bit his lip, looking at how perfect you looked.

"You look breathtaking in red," he breathed, his eyes landing on your breasts.

He watched as your chest rose from your nervous breathing, the sight almost making him lose control. He moved his hand up, lightly tracing the back of his forefinger down your cheek. You shivered at the contact, making him smirk. Moving his hand down to your bra, he gently tugged at one of the decorative straps lying over your breast.

"God, you are stunning," he whispered, moving to wrap his arms around your waist.

He pulled you in close, letting his lips ghost yours, leaving you breathless. He moved to your cheek, planting soft kisses down to your shoulder. He moved further down, just above your breasts and kissed the same spot. You let out a quiet moan, feeling him suck and nibble at your skin.

When he pulled away, he smirked at his work. A small hickey was now placed above your left breast. His gaze moved up to your face, taking in your expression. Your eyes were closed, breathing heavy, biting your lip to suppress your moans.

"Can I lie you down on the bed, baby?" he whispered. You nodded.

"Yes."

He lifted you with ease, bringing your round to the side of the bed and lying you down. He stripped himself of his shirt, giving you a moment to stare at him. You had seen him shirtless plenty of times. But now, it was different. You took in every inch of him, admiring every muscle and tattoo. Without thinking, you sat up, placing your hand at the hem of his trousers, sliding upwards toward his neck, kissing his torso as you did so.

He let his head fall backwards, muttering quietly under his breath. Your touch drove him crazy, and he couldn't explain why. How soft your skin was, and your delicate touches. All he wanted was for you to constantly be touching him.

You had pulled back, noticing the bulge in his pants. You brought your hands to his trousers, unbuttoning them slowly, teasingly. He watched you, his gaze intense. Only when you leaned back down onto the bed did he move, removing his trousers in a shift motion and climbing on top of you.

"Please, let me kiss you," he pleaded, his tone taking you by surprise. You had never heard him so needy.

"Of course, Kook."

Jungkook wasted no time closing the gap between the two of you, letting your lips mould with one another. Your breath caught in your throat when his hand traced down to your waist, gripping it tightly. He pulled away, looking over you to make sure you were okay.

"Don't stop," you whispered, pulling his back down.

You felt him slowly begin to grind into you, adding to your excitement. He moved from your lips and peppered kisses down until he reached your stomach. He looked up at you, hooking his fingers around the band of your underwear. You nodded eagerly.

In one swift motion, your underwear was pulled off and discarded on the bedroom floor. He lay flat on the bed, wrapping his arms around your thighs and pulling you closer to him.

"If there's anything I do that doesn't feel right, let me know, baby," he reassured. You silently agreed. He moved his face closer between your legs. His breath tickled your thighs, making you giggle slightly.

You gasped when Jungkooks lips wrapped around your clit, sucking gently, while his tongue moved up and down in a rhythmic motion. Your hands moved to his hair, back arching as a moan escaped your mouth.

"I-I'm sorry," you panted, flustered.

Jungkook pulled away, chuckling softly at how cute you were. He gently kissed up your inner thigh, then back down.

"There is no need to apologise, baby. If anything, it gives me confidence that I'm making you feel good. So let me hear you moan for me."

Jungkook moved back down between your legs and continued. A string of moans left you as Jungkook pleasured you. Every now and then, he would change his pace, slowing down or speeding up. You grew frustrated with his teasing, whining from the pleasure.

"Please."

Jungkook stopped.

"Please, what?"

"Please, make me come," you pleaded, looking down at him.

His eyes were filled with lust and love, grinning mischievously. He moved back one more time, this time keeping the same pace. He flicked his tongue against your clit, feeling your grip tighten in his hair, he knew you were close.

Jungkook felt you come undone against his tongue, your body shaking in ecstasy. He moved down to your entrance, licking from the bottom up to your clit, tasting you. You jerked at the sensitivity. He breathed out a laugh, the cold air hitting against you.

"Did that feel good, baby?" he asked while kissing your thighs.

"Fuck, yes."

Jungkook took the opportunity to move back up, so he was hovering over you. You avoided eye contact with him, becoming shy at how easily you came. He waited until you looked back at him.

"We can stop here if you-"

"No," you answered a little too quickly. "I-I want to go the whole way."

"That's a good girl," Jungkook smirked, standing up and pulling his boxers off.

You couldn't help but stare as he did so, unable to take your eyes off his size. You swallowed a little, your nerves beginning to return. He reached over to his bedside table and opened the drawer, pulling out a small silver packet.

He tore it open with his teeth, pulling out a condom from the foil. He pulled it over his cock and rolled it down, making sure it sat securely at the base. Jungkook then crawled back on top of you and grabbed hold of himself.

"I'm going to ask one more time. Are you sure?" he asked, noticing how your face changed.

"Y-Yes, I'm sure. I'm just nervous," you replied shyly. Jungkook planted a soft kiss against your forehead.

"It's okay to be nervous, baby," Jungkook soothed. "But I will say, with you still being a virgin, this may hurt a little bit. Okay?"

You nodded in response, wrapping your arms around his neck. Jungkook rubbed his tip against your entrance, coating himself in your wetness.

He was gentle, slowly easing in and out a little bit at a time, getting you used to the feeling. Your eyes scrunched shut when he began to push further in, the stretch becoming painful. Your nails dug into Jungkook's shoulders. He took that moment to stop, allowing you to adjust to his size.

"Please tell me you're almost in," you winced.

"I'm afraid we're only halfway," Jungkook informed. You laughed a little, trying to take your mind off the pain you were feeling below. "You're taking me so well, baby. Just a little further."

Jungkook's words filled you with reassurance, and you gestured for him to move again. With one final push, Jungkook was all the way in. You let out a quiet grunt in pain at the feeling. Like before, Jungkook stayed still, waiting until you were ready.

He kissed your face, attempting to take your mind off the ache. You breathed heavily, trying to allow yourself to relax a little more. Jungkook whispered praises in your ear, telling you how good you were doing.

When you felt that you were finally ready, you nodded, signalling for Jungkook to move. He moved his hand behind your back, raising you up slightly. Slowly, he pulled out and slid back in, making you both moan in unison.

"Fuck," he whispered.

The feeling of you tightening around his cock had him fighting not to finish. He often fantasised about how you felt, but he had never thought you'd feel this good.

"Oh my God," you gasped, feeling him stretch you with every thrust.

He continued his steady pace, sweat beginning to form on his forehead. He moved his hand from your back to your face, making you look at him.

"Will you-" he grunted, "will you come with me?"

You couldn't speak, only nodding in response. He took the opportunity to pick up his pace a little, thrusting deeper. The feeling had you in a state of euphoria, eyes rolling to the back of your head as your orgasm grew closer.

"Fuck, Kook- I'm gonna-" you couldn't finish as you reached your high. You pulled yourself up to his chest, needing to be close to him as he came shortly after. His breathing was uneven, hair sticking to his forehead as he rode out both your highs.

He finally stopped, slowly pulling out of you, and moving to lie on the other side of the bed. You closed your legs, pouting at the sudden loss of contact.

Jungkook rolled off the bed and made his way to the bathroom. Confused, you sat up and waited for him to come back. He returned shortly with a damp washcloth and sat at the bottom of the bed.

"Open your legs for me, baby."

You complied, slowly spreading your legs again. Jungkook brought the cloth to your entrance, gently wiping away any excess saliva and sweat, being careful not to brush your sensitive clit.

"I did rip you a little bit. I'm sorry," Jungkook apologised, wiping away a little bit of blood that had mixed in with your orgasm.

"It's okay," you replied. "Was I- was I okay?" you asked sheepishly.

Jungkook pulled back from you, tilting his head, giving you a knowing look.

"You know you were more than okay. You were perfect. I'm glad you were confident enough to show me all of you," Jungkook praised, leaning forward to cup your cheek in his hand.

"I love you, Kook," you hummed, closing your legs and moving slowly to him. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into him. He nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, taking in the mixture of your scent and sweat.

"I love you, too, baby."

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

hey there! thank you so much for reading! i will say, I am really proud of this piece, as it's the first time I've wrote smile in a while! please let me know what you think and if I should do more in the future!

if you've made it this far please take a look at my other works. or you're interested in making a request please look at the links below!

masterlist | requests | request rules | prompt list

tranquilreign~

[wheenice]

I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLYNEED JUNGKOOK IN MY LIFEEEE 🤞

“I don’t know how you’ve put up with me for this long, but I love you for it.”

jungkook x reader (or oc) genre: fluff word count: 700+

a/n: Ok, this has absolutely no plot, just fluffy Guk/Holly. I combined two requests for this one because I thought they went well together. The prompts requested are in bold. I hope you all enjoy, lovelies! Thank you for reading :))

THE sudden slam of your front door had you groaning, but the sleep you were just rudely awakened from was thick, subduing the panic you should have felt. Instead, you rolled over in your bed, burying your head under the pillow.

You heard the sounds of footsteps get heavier and louder as they got closer to your bedroom door, and the worry that started to develop through your sleepiness was quickly extinguished at the sound of your boyfriend’s voice in your bedroom doorway.

“Holly, baby,” Jungkook spoke loudly. “Why didn’t you answer your phone?” He walked further into the room. “It was an emergency, I needed to tell you I loved you.”

Pushing the pillow off your head, you shot a glare at your boyfriend. “Dude,” you deadpanned. “I’m sleeping.” Jungkook gave you a mischievous smile as he plopped onto the bed next to you, placing a hand on your lower back.

“And I called you,” he quipped, his cute ass smile widening.

Keep reading

[abjjkmrsty]

shameless thirst - teaser

summary : you wanted the bad boy jeon jungkook even if he had a long term hot girlfriend. So you beg him to make you his secret.

pairing : bad boy jungkook x yn

warning : cheating / asshole jungkook ( he can Change or maybe not) , slut/body shaming / desperate yn / smut / morally bad

Status : series

You stood behind the old gym building, fingers trembling as you held the small folded note in your hand, the one you had slipped into Jungkook’s locker just an hour ago. You had written your heart into those few lines, begging him to meet you here.

And he did.

Jungkook leaned against his black bike, leather jacket stretched across his broad shoulders, dark tattoos peeking from the edge of his sleeves. A lollipop in his mouth and that same careless smirk on his lips. His presence sucked the air out of your lungs.

"You wrote me that desperate little love note?" he asked, flicking the paper between his fingers mockingly. “Didn’t take you for the type.”

You gulped. “I... I know you have a girlfriend, but I don’t care. I-I’m not asking for much. Just—just give me a chance. We don’t have to tell anyone. I’ll be your secret. Please, I just want a piece of you.”

He blinked, and for a second you thought maybe he would consider it.

Then he laughed. Loud and cruel.

“A piece of me?” he smirk, eyes glinting like razors. “You think I’d throw my girl away for some lonely, pathetic chubby nerd who probably moans my name into her pillow at night?”

Your stomach dropped. The words were bullets.

“I won’t ruin anything, I swear,” you whispered. “She doesn’t have to know. No one has to. I’ll do whatever you want, just let me have you, even just a little...”

He stepped closer, towering over you, his breath minty and sharp. “You’re really that desperate, huh?”

You nodded, ashamed. You couldn't look up. Your voice cracked. “I’m sorry. I just... I think about you all the time.”

Jungkook scoffed. “Get a grip. This ain’t a movie, sweetheart. You're not the type of girl I even look at, especially not when I've already got a real woman.”

Then he walked past you, shoving your shoulder as he went. “Don’t ever embarrass yourself like this again.”

And just like that, you were left there.

Heart crushed. Dignity shattered.

But even through the tears that burned your eyes, a twisted part of you still longed for just one more glance from him.

Just a piece of him.

[jeonluvz]

♡3: WET DREAMS & KISSES

Businessman Jeon Jungkook X Companion F.Reader!

A/N: Even in his sleep, you’re a needy wet babygirl for him. I love fu^cked out reader smut, there’s a lot more of them coming in this series!!!!!!! Need more love for the breast on here ;$ !!!! Jungkook breast enuthuists RISE! No worries I came to supply. Mwah

WC: 6k!

Warnings: Read here, for mature audiences.

PREVIOUS | NEXT

The morning light filtered softly through the curtains, casting a gentle glow over the room. You had been awake for a little while, your eyes flicking open as you turned to look at the alarm clock beside the bed. The time read 6:13 AM. A soft yawn slipped past your lips as you stretched, your body still sleepy but content in the warmth of the bed.

You shifted slightly, careful not to wake Jungkook, but even in his sleep, his presence felt undeniable. He had been gone for most of the day yesterday, buried in meetings with suppliers, the long hours of work leaving him too exhausted to do anything more than sleep once he finally made it home. No fun. No kisses. No playful touches. It had been a long day for both of you.

But now, here you were, nestled beside him as the quiet morning settled in. He had rolled over at some point during the night, pulling the covers up to keep you close. His body was warm, his breathing steady and deep in the peaceful stillness of sleep.

As you glanced down, your hand instinctively rested on his exposed stomach, feeling the warmth radiate off of him. The soft rise and fall of his chest was soothing, and you couldn’t help but smile, appreciating the peacefulness of this moment after everything the previous day had brought. You traced the lines of his muscles with your fingers, noticing the way his stomach was slightly tensed in his sleep.

But then, your gaze lingered, and something caught your attention.

A faint flush colored his face, still visible even as he slept. His lips were parted slightly, a soft exhale leaving them as he rested. It wasn’t the flushed warmth of a fever, but something else entirely. You watched his body for a moment longer, the sheets barely covering his lower half, and then you saw it.

The outline of his erection, pressing against the fabric of his boxers, unmistakable and undeniable. The way it strained against the material gave you a fluttering sense of curiosity and, undeniably, desire. The long hours he had spent in meetings, the lack of attention, the lack of touch—all of it was clearly building inside him. He hadn’t had his release the night before, and now it was showing in the way his body responded to the quiet morning.

You bit your lip, your gaze lingering on the bulge in his boxers. Part of you wanted to tease him, to reach out and gently stroke it, just to see how he’d react. But you held back, letting your fingers linger on his stomach instead, the warmth of his skin under your touch making you feel a rush of intimacy and a faint excitement. You could feel your own heart race slightly, the desire bubbling up inside you as you waited for him to wake.

The silence between you two was thick with anticipation, and you felt the weight of it in the air. You could almost feel the tension of the previous day hanging there, waiting for the right moment to snap, for him to wake up and finally take what he wanted.

But for now, you simply stayed there, pressing yourself closer to him, feeling his warmth seep into your body as you waited for the day—and whatever it might bring—to unfold.

You looked at him again, your fingers still lightly brushing against his exposed stomach, feeling the faint warmth of his skin under your touch. He didn’t stir, his breath steady, deep in sleep. The flush on his face still lingered, but he was unaware of your gaze—or the intentions creeping through your mind.

A mischievous smirk tugged at your lips. You couldn’t help but feel a certain thrill at the thought of teasing him while he was so unaware, his body already reacting to your proximity despite his sleep.

Slowly, carefully, you slid your legs over his, straddling him with a quiet grace. The moment your body settled over him, your hips resting lightly on his waist, a shiver ran down your spine. You could feel the warmth of his body under yours, the solidness of him beneath the thin fabric of his boxers. His cock, still straining against the material, was now even more pronounced under you.

You held yourself there for a moment, taking in the feel of him, his chest rising and falling with each breath. His deep slumber gave you all the control. Slowly, you leaned forward, your hands sliding up his chest, tracing the contours of his muscles, enjoying the way his body responded even in sleep.

A soft laugh bubbled up from your chest. “Still asleep, huh?” you whispered to yourself, amused by how oblivious he was, despite his body’s clear response.

With another smirk, you shifted your hips just enough to feel the pressure of his hardening cock beneath you. The friction of your movements made his breath hitch slightly, but he still didn’t wake. You could tell he was in a deep sleep, lost in his own world.

You kept yourself close, letting the anticipation build, wondering how long it would take before he finally realized what was happening—how long it would take for him to wake up and see you, already teasing and playing, right there with him.

The longer you rocked gently against him, the more you lost yourself in the sensation, the smooth heat of his body beneath yours. Your movements, slow and deliberate at first, became instinctive, as if your body was taking over, responding to the deep warmth you could feel radiating from him.

Each subtle shift of your hips sent a wave of pleasure through you, the friction building as you continued to grind lightly against him. Your thoughts blurred, replaced only by the sensation of his body underneath you, the way he seemed to fit perfectly against yours, the way his cock pressed up against you with each movement.

The way his body reacted without even being conscious of it, the gentle rise and fall of his chest, made your breath catch. You felt your own pulse quicken, the softness of your movements becoming more desperate, more needy. The logical part of your mind, the part that usually stayed in control, started to fade, replaced by the feeling of him beneath you, the heat of his skin, the tension building with each subtle grind.

It was like you couldn’t stop. Each movement felt natural, almost like a need, and the pleasure that built with each shift in position only made it worse. You could feel the ache inside you growing, the pressure building, but all you could focus on was the feel of him beneath you, the way your body ached for something more, something deeper. Your mind, clouded with the sensation, had no space left for anything other than the warmth of his skin, the hardness pressing against you, the soft hum of pleasure with every movement.

Everything else faded. It was just you and him, the heat between your bodies, and the rising need for more.

The longer you rocked gently against him, the more you lost yourself in the sensation, the smooth heat of his body beneath yours. Your movements, slow and deliberate at first, became instinctive, as if your body was taking over, responding to the deep warmth you could feel radiating from him.

Each subtle shift of your hips sent a wave of pleasure through you, the friction building as you continued to grind lightly against him. Your thoughts blurred, replaced only by the sensation of his body underneath you, the way he seemed to fit perfectly against yours, the way his cock pressed up against you with each movement.

The way his body reacted without even being conscious of it, the gentle rise and fall of his chest, made your breath catch. You felt your own pulse quicken, the softness of your movements becoming more desperate, more needy. The logical part of your mind, the part that usually stayed in control, started to fade, replaced by the feeling of him beneath you, the heat of his skin, the tension building with each subtle grind.

It was like you couldn’t stop. Each movement felt natural, almost like a need, and the pleasure that built with each shift in position only made it worse. You could feel the ache inside you growing, the pressure building, but all you could focus on was the feel of him beneath you, the way your body ached for something more, something deeper. Your mind, clouded with the sensation, had no space left for anything other than the warmth of his skin, the hardness pressing against you, the soft hum of pleasure with every movement.

Everything else faded. It was just you and him, the heat between your bodies, and the rising need for more.

“Mm, just lay on my chest, baby,” he murmurs, his voice still thick with sleep but laced with that same authority. He shifts his position, propping his heels up on the bed, and suddenly, you feel him push up against you, his body aligning with yours, making it impossible to ignore the way he’s reacting beneath you.

The heat between you both intensifies, and you can’t help but let out a small, breathless sigh as you feel his length press against you. His arms move to pull you closer, guiding you to rest your head on his chest, the steady beat of his heart against your ear grounding you, even as his body responds to the closeness.

“You’re still teasing me, aren’t you?” His words come out in a low, playful whisper, but there’s a subtle edge to them, something deeper that tugs at you. He gently rubs his thumb over your back, a slow, possessive motion, his hands tracing the curve of your body as if reminding you of his presence.

You stay still for a moment, your breath quickening as the warmth of his body presses against yours, your own pulse racing in time with his. The tension in the air thickens, but you know better than to push too hard, too fast—not when you can feel him holding back, his patience stretched thin, waiting for you to make the next move.

“You can’t hide what you want,” he murmurs, his lips brushing against your forehead as his body shifts again, pushing up against you just enough for you to feel that hunger beneath the surface, the undeniable desire that’s only growing stronger.

His lips press softly against your chest, the warmth of his breath sending a shiver down your spine as he moves you over him, shifting you gently but firmly so you’re lying on top of him. The moment is slow, deliberate, and you can feel the tension building as he explores the soft curve of your body with his hands.

His lips trail down, searching, until they find the sensitive bud of your nipple, and he kisses it softly at first, letting his mouth linger, teasing you with his touch. The sensation makes you gasp, your body reacting before you can even think about it. His hands slide to your back, pulling you closer, making sure there’s no space left between you, no gap where the heat can escape.

His touch is possessive yet tender, guiding you as he moves, his lips never leaving your skin, as if he can’t get enough. He’s careful, deliberate, but there’s an undeniable hunger in the way his lips move, in the way his body reacts beneath you, pressing up against you with a hunger that matches your own.

You can’t help but shift against him, your body instinctively responding to the way his lips and hands send waves of pleasure through you, the slow burn of anticipation building with every movement. His lips leave your chest, trailing up to your neck, where they linger for just a moment before his voice comes out, low and thick with desire. “You’re mine to play with, aren’t you?” he murmurs against your skin, as though reminding you of his control, his claim over the moment.

His words are barely a whisper, but they send a shiver through you, the weight of his thought hanging in the air between you both. “Fuck… imagine if they were full,” he murmurs, his voice low and edged with a mix of desire and curiosity. His hand moves to rest gently on your chest, fingers brushing over the soft skin as if he’s picturing it, imagining how much more he could claim, how much more he could explore.

You can feel the tension in the air, thickening with each passing second as his words settle in your mind. The way he speaks, the way he thinks about you, feels almost like an unspoken promise—one filled with longing, desire, and a touch of something deeper. His hand lingers on your chest for a moment longer, and his gaze moves to your face, dark eyes searching you, studying you like he’s trying to figure out how far he can take this.

You feel your breath catch, the heat between you rising as you realize just how much he’s thinking about you, about the things he wants to do. His words are teasing, but there’s no denying the weight behind them, the possessiveness wrapped up in his voice, the way he wants more, craves more.

But you stay quiet, unsure if you should answer or let him continue leading the way, watching as his fingers trace along your skin, his thoughts still lingering on the idea of what you could be, what you could give him.

“Koo, don’t stop,” you begged, your voice thick with need, as your body arches slightly towards him, craving his touch. His sleepy eyes flutter open, meeting yours for a brief moment before he blinks slowly, taking in the sound of your voice, still heavy with sleep but filled with a raw, unspoken desire.

Without saying a word, his hands move to your hips, his movements slow and sluggish at first, as if he’s still half-dreaming, but the desire building inside him quickly takes over. With one smooth motion, he rolls you over on your back, the bed shifting under his weight as he hovers above you, his gaze still heavy with sleep but now burning with something more intense.

His hand rests beside your head, his fingers brushing the strands of hair away from your face, and for a moment, he just looks at you, taking in the sight of you beneath him. The moment feels suspended in time, heavy with anticipation.

“Don’t worry, baby,” he murmurs, his voice low and husky. “I’m not going anywhere.” His lips meet yours, slow and deliberate, a promise in the softness of his kiss. You feel the weight of him pressing against you, his body close, but the tension between you both is palpable, thick with the yearning that’s been building all night.

You feel him shift again, his hands moving to explore your body with the same slow, deliberate pace, as though he’s savoring every inch of you.

His lips leave yours and trail slowly down your neck, sending shivers through your body with every kiss. The warmth of his breath dances across your skin, making you ache with anticipation. He moves lower, kissing the sensitive spots on your chest, his hands pushing your shirt up as he begins to gaze at you. His eyes linger on your body, drinking in the sight of you with a hunger that feels almost possessive.

You feel a slight tug as he pulls your shirt up further, his gaze intense, his fingers grazing along the skin exposed to him. His eyes flick up to yours for a moment, checking for your reaction, before he looks back at your body, clearly appreciating the view. His lips hover just above your skin, teasing, but not quite touching, making your heart race as you wait for him to make the next move.

There’s something in his eyes now—a quiet intensity, like he’s fully awake and aware of the moment, and yet still holding back just enough, savoring the way your body reacts to his touch. He leans closer, his lips brushing lightly over the exposed skin, a whisper of warmth against your body. “So fucking beautiful,” he murmurs, the words rough, as though he’s trying to control himself, but failing in the best way possible.

His words come out in a low murmur, sending a thrill through you, his breath hot against the sensitive bud of your chest. “Clip-ons,” he pauses, licking his mouth towards your breast. “I couldn’t wait that long for the healing to be done,” he says with a smirk, clearly enjoying the effect his words have on you.

The teasing lingers in the air as his lips brush over the spot, the heat of his breath intensifying the ache in your chest. You can feel the weight of his gaze on you, every inch of his attention focused on your body, your reactions. His fingers trace lightly over the exposed skin, teasing the edge of where your shirt had been pulled up, before he leans in just enough to press a soft kiss to the spot he had been eyeing.

There’s something possessive in the way he speaks, the way he talks about waiting for things—like he already has plans for you, as though he’s going to take his time to savor every part of you, and you can’t help but melt under the weight of it.

His breath hitches, and his lips follow his words, lingering just above your chest as his hands move to gently squeeze your waist, pulling you closer. The tension builds between you both, an undercurrent of need and unspoken promises, as he waits for your response.

His mouth presses against your chest, warm and soft at first, a gentle exploration that sends waves of heat through your body. He takes his time, his lips tracing the delicate curves of your skin, as if savoring every inch of you. The sensation is electrifying, causing your breath to hitch in your throat. His hands are firm on your waist, guiding you closer, ensuring that you feel every inch of him.

You can feel the tension building in the air, and his lips move with purpose, kissing, nibbling, and teasing the sensitive skin. The feeling of him so close to you, so immersed in the moment, leaves you breathless. His touch is possessive, though still patient, as though he wants to enjoy every second of this intimacy. Each kiss, each soft flick of his tongue, brings you closer to losing yourself in the pleasure of the moment.

His hands wander, gently caressing your body, and his lips trail lower, exploring, making sure you’re fully aware of the hunger in his touch. You’re left in a daze, caught between the warmth of his lips and the anticipation of what’s to come next.

His voice is low and rough, filled with a quiet, determined intensity. “Just here today, I want just here,” he murmurs, grinding his body against yours, the movement slow but deliberate. The pressure sends a rush of heat through you, and you can feel the weight of his words as he holds you close.

His hands tighten on your body, guiding you with a gentle, possessive force, as if marking you, claiming this moment entirely for himself. His lips brush against your skin, his breath warm and heavy, as his grinding becomes a little more insistent, pushing you further into the feeling. The sensation of him against you is almost overwhelming—tender but full of hunger, the heat building between you both with each passing second.

You can sense the need in him, and it ignites something deep within you, a hunger that matches his, making it impossible to focus on anything but the heat of his touch and the way his body moves against yours. Each slow grind only intensifies the moment, pulling you both deeper into the space where only the two of you exist.

His words are soft, almost a whisper, as his body presses more firmly against yours, the warmth between you both growing. “So warm,” he murmurs, his breath hot against your skin. You can feel the heat radiating from him, and it sends a shiver down your spine.

Without breaking his gaze, he lowers himself again, his lips brushing against your nipple, teasing and soft at first. His movements are lazy, relaxed even, but there’s still a hunger there—a need that matches the slow rhythm of his grinding against you. His tongue flicks lightly over your skin, sending waves of sensation through your chest, each delicate touch feeling more electrifying than the last.

You can’t help but let out a soft sigh, your body arching instinctively toward him, craving more of his touch. His movements grow more focused, his lips closing around your nipple, sucking gently, almost tenderly, yet there’s an undeniable edge to it. It’s a mix of care and hunger, his slow, methodical actions pulling you deeper into the moment, making you forget about everything else except for the weight of his presence and the sensation of his mouth on your skin.

He hums, his voice thick with satisfaction as he presses his hips harder against yours. “Perfect size,” he murmurs, the words vibrating against your skin. His hand moves to cup the other breast, fingers kneading gently but firmly, creating a rhythm that matches the growing pressure of his body against yours.

The sensation of his touch sends a wave of warmth through you, and your breath catches, eyes fluttering closed for a moment as you surrender to the feeling. His lips stay locked on your skin, occasionally pulling away just enough to admire you before returning, each kiss deeper, more lingering.

The combination of his hands and the subtle grind of his hips leaves you breathless, each movement an intricate dance of pleasure, building at a slow, relentless pace. He continues to explore, his touch a perfect balance of gentleness and intensity, making every second feel like it stretches on indefinitely.

“So tired, couldn’t get my…” he yawns, his voice trailing off as he lazily pulls at the bud, the sensation pulling a soft gasp from you. His lips barely leave your skin as he continues, his hands moving with a tired but insistent rhythm. The contrast between his exhaustion and the intensity of his touch sends a shiver through you, every pull and tug creating a deep, satisfying ache.

You run your fingers through his hair, the strands soft and familiar beneath your touch. He leans into it, his movements slowing down, but there’s still a hunger there, a need that doesn’t quite fade. His eyes half-lidded with drowsiness, but his focus remains on you as he gently teases, pressing you further into the moment. The warmth of his body against yours, the way he continues to explore, keeps your senses heightened, grounding you in the intimacy of it all.

“Love them, so big, baby,” he murmurs, his words laced with a lazy admiration as he continues to cup and tease. His hands, slow and deliberate, press against you with just the right amount of pressure, as if savoring the moment. His gaze stays on you, lazy and affectionate, his lips lingering on your skin with each movement.

You feel a warmth spread through you at his words, the compliment both soothing and exciting, sending a quiet ripple of satisfaction through your body. The way he speaks to you, with such ease and contentment, makes you want to melt further into him, craving more of his touch, the connection, the feeling of being so completely consumed by the moment.

He grinds more, his body moving with a slow, deliberate rhythm, the pressure building as he pulls you closer. His mouth presses against your neck, lips tracing a path down your skin, leaving a trail of warmth that matches the heat of his body against yours.

His arms circle your back, pulling you into him firmly, a protective yet lazy grip that holds you just where he wants you. Each movement feels sluggish but deliberate, his exhaustion mixing with desire, creating a languid tension between you two. The subtle grind of his hips against yours sends waves of pleasure that spread through your body, his touch both grounding and electrifying, as you melt into his embrace, surrendering to the moment.

“Was dreaming of this… almost…” he breathes out, his voice thick and strained as he kisses you, his lips moving against yours with a mixture of urgency and exhaustion. His breath is warmer, harsher, as his chest rises and falls beneath you, each breath creating a tension that heightens the moment.

You rub his bare back, fingers tracing over his muscles, feeling the way his body reacts to your touch. His skin is warm and slick with the slight sheen of sweat, and the movement of his body against yours becomes more frantic, the slow burn turning into a desperate need. His kisses grow deeper, hungrier, as if he’s been waiting for this, and in that moment, it feels like everything he’s been dreaming of is finally coming to life.

“You make me feel so good, I feel so much better. My focus was off yesterday,” he admits, his voice deep and strained, pressing into you harder, his body moving with a growing intensity. His words come out almost as a confession, like he’s finally finding his balance again after the frustration of the past day.

His movements become more insistent, his hands gripping you tighter as if trying to ground himself in the moment. The weight of his body presses you deeper into the bed, every shift of his hips causing a ripple of pleasure that only deepens the connection between you. You feel the contrast of his exhaustion mixed with the palpable need he has for you—his vulnerability wrapped in this raw, almost desperate desire.

“Baby, be loud… need to get…” he yawns, his breath warm against your ear, the words trailing off in a sleepy haze. His body shifts above you, still moving with that slow, deliberate pace, as if every motion takes more effort, but his need for you doesn’t fade.

His hand slides down to your side, gripping you firmly, his breath heavy and uneven. The mixture of sleepiness and desire makes everything feel hazy and almost dreamlike, a blur of sensations that heightens the tension. He presses closer, his lips brushing against your ear, coaxing you to react as his body continues to press against yours, the desire building even as his exhaustion lingers.

You allow yourself to be heard, your breath hitching and becoming louder with each movement. His hips pick up pace, grinding against you with a more urgent rhythm as he too starts to grow louder, the sound of his breaths heavy and raw in the air. The slow, sluggish pace from earlier has turned into something more intense, the building desire forcing its way through the weariness that still lingers in his body.

With every thrust, his grip on you tightens, his lips now brushing against your neck, leaving hot, breathless kisses that deepen the connection between you. His movements become more forceful, matching the growing need between you, and you can feel the tension building, each moment stretching out, becoming more overwhelming.

“So pretty, baby. Such a good doll for me,” he murmurs, his voice low and almost teasing as his hips slow, pulling back just enough to keep you on the edge, like he’s teasing both of you. His movements become deliberate, controlled—he’s edging, taking his time, making sure you feel every inch of the tension building between you.

His hands stay firmly planted on your hips, holding you steady as he watches you squirm beneath him. His eyes darken with desire, seeing how you react, how you’re so eager, so responsive to his touch. The air is thick with anticipation, and you can feel the pull of his control, the way he’s holding back, keeping you on the brink.

As he stirs, his breath deepening, you can feel him slowly waking up. His hands still grip your hips, his movements deliberate, but his voice is slower, more hazy as he regains his focus. “So perfect for me… Look at you,” he murmurs, his words still slurred with sleep but laced with desire. “I love how you feel… So soft, so easy for me.”

His eyes flicker open, locking onto yours as he presses forward again, his pace steady but slower now, as if savoring the moment. “God, you make me forget everything,” he says with a low, almost breathless laugh. His hand slides up your side, resting near your chest, feeling your heartbeat beneath your skin. “Just stay like this… so good.”

He watches you closely, his eyes heavy with satisfaction as he slowly continues to move, savoring every moment. “God, baby… You feel so good,” he murmurs, his voice low, rough with sleep and desire. His hand slides down your body, fingers tracing the curve of your waist before settling between your legs, feeling how wet you are for him. “So soft, so fucking wet… you’re made for me, aren’t you?”

He leans down, pressing a kiss to your neck, his lips lingering as he speaks again. “I can feel how much you need me… how much you want me. You’re perfect for me, baby, so perfect.” His hips continue to move in a slow rhythm, each thrust deep and controlled, as if he’s savoring how you respond to him.

The feel of the fabric against his skin, your body pressed so close to his, is driving him wild. His control starts slipping as he feels the softness of your skin under the fabric, how it slides and shifts with each movement, leaving him barely able to hold back. His breath hitches, and his eyes darken as the sensation of the material against you makes it harder to think straight.

“Shit,” he mutters, his voice thick with frustration. “The fabric… you’re making me lose it, baby.” His fingers grip the edge of your clothes, pulling them just enough to feel the heat of your skin, but he doesn’t let go, not yet. The tension in the air is thick as he fights to keep control, his movements becoming sharper, faster, as the fabric fuels his desire. He presses his lips to yours, tasting the sweetness, but all he can think about is how badly he needs you, how much the feel of you is driving him to the edge.

As you kiss him back with urgency, his hands are quick and determined, pulling the fabric away with a sense of hunger. He can’t get enough of the feeling of your skin against his, the barrier of fabric no longer enough to keep him controlled. He groans into the kiss, his body pressing against yours more forcefully, urging you to feel exactly how much he wants you.

His hands slide under the fabric, fingers grazing your hips before gripping tightly, moving your body just the way he wants. The shift in position sends a wave of heat between you, and his breath becomes even more ragged. “So fucking perfect,” he mutters against your lips, his movements becoming less measured, driven purely by the need to feel you even more intimately.

His hips grind against yours, feeling the raw intensity of your connection as the fabric gets pushed aside completely, leaving no distance between your bodies. The heat intensifies, and with each shift of his body, he’s closer to losing every last bit of control.

His body tenses with one final push, the motion deep and needy, and you instinctively cling to him—arms tight around his shoulders, thighs locked. You can feel it building in him, the way his breath stutters and his hips falter for a split second before he slams back into rhythm.

“Fuck—don’t move,” he growls low, breath hot against your ear as he presses you down, holding you flush against him. You feel it hit—his high crashing through him as he groans, buried deep and pulsing. The way his body trembles, muscles flexing under your palms, makes it undeniable. The warmth of it spreads between you, thick, slow, and heavy.

His arms wrap tight around you, chest rising and falling fast, his voice rough and soft as he breathes against your neck, “Couldn’t hold back… not with you like that.”

His breath shudders as he sinks fully into you, still trembling from release. You feel the weight of him—solid, warm, flushed against your body—as he buries his face in the crook of your neck. His lips brush lazily over your skin, part kiss, part breath.

“Good,” you whisper, voice warm and a little breathless. You kiss his cheek softly, tasting the heat still clinging to him. “You feel so warm.”

He doesn’t answer right away, just tightens his arms around you, pulling you closer like he needs you to stay exactly where you are. His chest rises and falls against yours, and he lets out a quiet hum, gathering himself in your neck. You can feel how heavy he’s breathing, how his body is still reacting to you—slow, possessive rolls of his hips even in the aftermath. Just enough to feel you. Just enough to stay inside.

“You ruin me,” he murmurs against your skin, voice muffled and thick with something softer than lust. “Every time.”

You giggle, breath still a little shaky, and carefully lift yourself off him, legs a bit wobbly as you shift to the side. His arms fall away reluctantly, and he groans low in his throat like he already misses the weight of you.

That’s when you see it—the dark, wet stain spreading across the front of his boxers, still clinging to his skin. You blink, surprised, and look up just as he props himself on his elbows, following your gaze.

“Shit,” he mutters, running a hand through his messy hair and glancing down at the mess with a lazy smirk. “That was… bigger than I thought.”

You laugh again, muffled into the pillow as you try to hide your smile. He shifts, reaching for a tissue off the nightstand but not bothering to move just yet.

“Maybe we should do that more often, sweetie,” he drawls, voice low and teasing as he leans over to kiss the corner of your mouth, thumb brushing under your chin. “Real good way to wake up.”

You nod eagerly, biting your lip with a playful glint in your eye before leaning in to kiss his cheek. “Today we go on a picnic!” you announce out of nowhere, beaming like you’d had it planned all along.

Jungkook furrows his brows, clearly caught off guard as he kisses your forehead in return. “So suddenly?”

“Yeah,” you reply, already sitting up and stretching with a satisfied hum. “Vitamin D is good for you, I hear. And the sun offers that—besides you.”

He huffs a small laugh through his nose, shaking his head like he can’t believe how bright you are at this hour. “We didn’t cook.”

“7/11 picnic date!” you declare proudly, grabbing a hair tie off the nightstand.

“Sounds good to me,” he grins, getting off the bed with that slow, unhurried morning swagger of his. His now-cold boxers cling to him for a second before he peels them off and tosses them into the hamper. “We’ll grab more food on the way, baby girl.”

You nod again with a quiet giggle, already pulling on your oversized hoodie, while he grabs a fresh pair of boxers and searches for his favorite black tee. Cozy, chaotic plans in motion.

[solecize]

°⛧  ‧  ₊   　 　⠀mnemonic 　⠀⠀⠀　 　⠀⠀　 　⠀⠀ [prologue]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀　 　⠀　 　⠀　 　⠀　 　⠀⠀　 　⠀　 　⠀⠀　 　⠀　 　⠀　 　⠀　 　⠀　 *ੈ  ✩  ‧  ₊  ˚  .ೃ

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: swimmer!jk x female reader, college au, slowburn friends to lovers to ??, fluff, angst, slice of life, coming of age

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: smut, substance use, college party and hookup culture, mentions of greek life hazing, characters experiencing just about every feeling a lost college student goes through, depictions of and discussions surrounding mental health (depression, anxiety, substance abuse), disgusting amounts of yearning and clueless pining, yes he's her tutor at one point, yes they're in denial, also features other third gen idols, dare i say found family, there is a beach episode and a fireworks festival too lol

in which a little box of memories tells the story of how you and jeon jungkook slowly, but surely, fell in love against the backdrop of the growing pains of your college years. jungkook presents this box to you as a final gift at graduation and each item in the box is a snapshot frozen in time, capturing the forces that brought the two of you from strangers to friends to more. 

⇢ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐱: masterlist. / prologue. / the loyalty points card from the campus coffee shop. / ticket to the haunted horrors house (admission for two). / a worn out deck of cards. /handwritten no-bake cheesecake recipe. / cd soundtrack for stand by me (1986). / travel brochure to derry beach. / a clipping from the school newspaper. / pieces of confetti. / one empty tequila shooter. / epilogue & the final item.

⇢ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: errrr this got more attention than i expected so i got shy about posting LMAO but ok i grew some balls here's the prologue it's gonna be the shortest part to the entire fic and everything after the prologue will be set in the past leading up to this day so hold on tight and bear with me bc there's lots to come

prologue: the memory box (graduation day)

 “jeon jungkook, bachelor of commerce. erm. .  . jeon jungkook?”

 the crowd murmured in confusion when the former star of the university swim team failed to step up to the podium. similarly, those in your graduating class whispered amongst themselves, with a few eyes falling on you. the sleeves of your gown suddenly felt itchier than before and the stares of your peers burned into your skull. 

 the you who used to hang off jungkook’s arm at every party, every meet, every bar. the you who was never seen without your friends’ matching grins, laughter echoing down the quad and hallways. the you who went where he went. 

 when you woke up on the morning of your college graduation, it felt like any old day. without so much of a noise, april swiftly crept away and with it went the heaviness that you’d been holding as a breath - the weight of final exams, the way one had to build up courage to prepare to say goodbye, and the way time slipped between your fingers like silk. it was a feeling that you’d been burying and trying so desperately to separate yourself from, until time finally ran out.

 the grand finale to your four years at college was just a mundane thursday, where the only thing that was out of the ordinary was the dull ache of a hangover. 

 those usually happened when you woke up on saturdays.

 last night was the first time in a while that you truly, really got drunk. considering the consequences of your old lifestyle, you really dialed back. this was a reasonable exception, though, as you and your friends gathered to play cards and drink cheap spirits one last time. 

 today, the first thing you saw when your eyelids fluttered open was the sight of jungkook drooling, as you looked up from him from his strong arms tightly pressing you into his chest in his half-conscious state.

 it was routine, which you liked. a part of you had to ignore the ache of knowledge that this routine was due to end.

 “no,” was all he whined, voice rough with sleep.

 again, not out of the ordinary. it was hard to fight the urge to roll your eyes - he was always clingy in the morning. you shook him awake, murmuring something about your appointment at the nail salon before the ceremony, and he begrudgingly stirred awake to make breakfast. that was the last you saw of him today and you realized it really was a regular morning because neither of you even acknowledged that it was graduation day. you both refused to.

 it was a particularly hot may afternoon, where the steel of the chairs burned your thighs and you spent the entire ceremony squinting against the sun that beat down on the outdoor event. the heat closed in on you, as you looked around for jungkook amongst the faces of graduates. 

 clearing his throat, it was seokmin who poked your back from the row behind you. “where is he? he was with us when we were lining up.”

 jungkook was, in fact, not here. you craned your neck in all sorts of angles, trying to make out your boyfriend’s face amongst any of your fellow graduates and came up short. when the fact that he wasn’t here sunk in your chest, your heart dropped with it. the two of you arrived to the ceremony separately at different times and didn’t even get a chance to get a glimpse of each other before being dragged into pristine, single file lines for the start. 

 you bit into your strawberry glossed lips and it wasn’t sweet at all. something was wrong.

 you always imagined what the big day would look like, what countless sleepless nights that could only be measured in coffee cups and weary hearts would feel like. four years later and you found yourself with laughter-warmed ribs, life lessons, and friends that you found blood in. the degree was the cherry on top. 

 “jeon jungkook.” the dean repeated his name for a third time.

 it was as if these realizations settled in your bones from the moment you slipped on the polyester rental gown - like all of your college memories replayed before your very eyes until the only feeling that remained was distance. it was done and you were already preparing your heart for the ache that came with really saying goodbye. 

 by this point, the dean had given up on waiting for jungkook to make an appearance on stage and moved onto the next person on the list. you couldn’t believe it. since you were of a different major, you already received your diploma and took pictures. that’s why you did not hesitate for a moment when you rose from your seat and not so subtly sprinted out the exit. a mental apology was made to your parents, who likely witnessed the scene in confusion.

 the ceremony was being held on the football field, where the audience in the stands could get a clear view of your hasty exit. 

 what are you doing? amongst the other confused and concerned faces in the crowd was doyeon, who mouthed these words to you as you ran past her and the rest of the graduates. you didn’t have the time to reply.

 this wasn’t like jungkook. 

 this was out of the ordinary. he was the one who bugged you to get ready faster before you headed off to one of jaehyun's frat parties or when you would show up ten minutes late for friday night dinner. the last thing he would ever do was be late to his own graduation ceremony, much less not show up at all.

 being his other half for the better part of your college years - even before the two of you finally let everyone’s hearts be at ease when you became an official couple - you knew him better than he knew himself and immediately knew where jungkook would be. he had one safe space that he retreated to on campus. you figured he would still be on campus, of course, if seokmin was right and that he was previously lined up with the rest of the class.

 mickey mouse crackhouse [1:32 pm] loml 🌎🩷🍓: here goes nothing [1:43 pm] yeri fairy 🧚‍♀️🎀: jaehyun and i are sitting in the stands with seokmin's parents!! GOOD LUCK GUYS! [1:47 pm] mama doyeon 🐻: i’m gonna throw up [1:47 pm] you: me too [1:48 pm] seokmin 👽🏊: ew please don’t [1:48 pm] seokmin 👽🏊: i’m gonna be in the row right behind you y/n ur ass is gonna stink up the place [1:50 pm] jaehyun 🤓☝️: can someone tell kook he forgot his phone? i have it with me [1:55 pm] seokmin 👽🏊: dude the bald spot on dean park’s head is ridiculous  [1:55 pm] jaehyun 🤓☝️: he just needs to concede atp [1:55 pm] seokmin 👽🏊: it’s so shiny lol [1:56 pm] mama doyeon 🐻: you guys need to shut up we’re about to walk out [1:56 pm] mama doyeon 🐻: i’m gonna get distracted and trip on stage and it’s gonna be on you idiots [1:56 pm] you: i’m muting y’all [1:56 pm] jaehyun 🤓☝️: boooooooring ok good luck losers [1:57 pm] yeri fairy 🧚‍♀️🎀: you got this guys!!

 those were the last messages in the group chat before things went awry. you tried to not look at your phone too much during the ceremony, as this was a once in a lifetime event and after all the work you put into your degree, the least you could do was revel in the proceedings. that, and you really did not care for the debate about dean park’s awful hair genetics. 

 [2:25 pm] yeri fairy 🧚‍♀️🎀: Y/N YOU LOOKED SO GOOD ON STAGE!!!! [2:26 pm] jaehyun 🤓☝️: the bald spot was extra visible when you shook his hand lmfao [2:49 pm] yeri fairy 🧚‍♀️🎀: …… [2:49 pm] jaehyun 🤓☝️: what’s going on? [2:49 pm] jaehyun 🤓☝️: where’s jungkook???? [2:50 pm] mama doyeon🐻: is this a joke [2:50 pm] seokmin 👽🏊: errr wth [2:50 pm] mama doyeon 🐻: y/n where the hell are you going? [2:50 pm] yeri fairy 🧚‍♀️🎀: GIRL COME BACK [2:51 pm] yeri fairy 🧚‍♀️🎀: Y/N [2:51 pm] jaehyun 🤓☝️: ???????

 the last of spring settled in the cherry blossom trees, marked by a calm pink hue and the smell of change in the air. you loved springtime, but the season was slowly vanishing from your eyes to welcome the summer haze on campus. it was a pity, but that was the one thing about change - there was always something new to look forward to.

 campus was busy with graduation week in full gear, with families and graduates gathering for one final glance at their home for the past couple of years. your peers smiled wide for pictures, clutching fresh roses and heavy frames of the piece of paper that proved their existence at this institution. they looped arms together like ribbons, taking shots in front of their old freshman dorms and the infamous statue in front of the computer science building that the hockey team defaced every year without fail. it was time to say goodbye. you figured that was why jungkook failed to show up at the ceremony.

 ignoring the curious faces of onlookers that noticed your panic and graduation robes, the sight of the athletic centre made your heart race.

 “he better be here,” you muttered to yourself, as you aggressively tapped on your phone. it was now dead. 

 great, of course it was. you used your final one percent to double check your texts. 

 as you pushed open the front door, you noticed an abandoned graduation cap by the entrance. you breathed a sigh of relief - you were correct, he was here. there was no doubt about it. from there, it was only muscle memory to find the school pool. after all, you spent years coming down here and watching jungkook compete or picking him up from practice.

 the main doors were locked, but you knew better. jungkook had shown you this path in freshman year, going through the change rooms to make your way to the pool. he claimed they were never locked and luckily, this remained true today. 

 a loud rhythm of your clicking heels thumped steadily against the tiled floor. you wondered at what point in the last four years did you stop wobbling in anything higher than two inches. guess it was just something that happened.

 the smell of chlorine filled your lungs and as soon as you saw the back of your boyfriend’s head, sitting by the pool, you began yelling at the top of your lungs.

 “and there he goes, slicing through the water like knives! jeon jungkook for the school record with unwavering determination!”

 a faint smile quirked up at your lips as you approached, as it always did when you were near jungkook - until you saw his face.

 jungkook’s head whipped around at the sound of your voice. your shoulders dropped, examining the look on his face. his eyes were bloodshot and his skin pale, creating a deep hole in your stomach. a frown tugged at and replaced your grin as you approached him. jungkook had long discarded his dress shoes and dipped his feet into the water, sitting on the edge. your fake excitement evaporated and your features instead became stitched with concern.

 “you shouldn’t be here,” he mumbled, barely loud enough for you to hear yourself.

 rolling your eyes, you kicked off the painful heels on your feet and joined him. it was a challenge to hike up your dress and make sure your robe was hanging off to the side, not touching the water, but you managed. you then sat down next to him and jungkook couldn’t meet your eyes.

 the navy blue of both your graduation robes pooled around you, surrounding your figures in their own little bubble. it felt like you were in one, as if you were miles away from the football field and the hundreds of eyes on the intimidating stage centered by dean park’s bald spot. 

 you said, “i should say the same for you.” you reached out and placed a gentle hand on jungkook’s cheek, urging him to turn to you.

 in all your years knowing and dating jungkook, this behaviour was out of character for him. he had the gift of having the brightest smile in the room and his energy shone like the sun. today, he was a shell of that.

 “so, that’s it then? everything is over,” he finally spoke, shoulders low. 

 this surprised you. over the last few weeks, jungkook had been the last person in your friend group to get sentimental about graduation. when you submitted your last assignment at 11:59 on the dot and broke down about the end of the semester, he reminded you that there were so many things to look forward to. he wiped away your tears when you took your graduation portrait and assured you it wasn’t the end of the world. there wasn’t one indication that he was going to miss college, even commenting that he was “over it” and wanted to get it done.

 his tone was dull, the kind of voice he used when he continuously failed to find an internship in junior year or that one time he had to miss a swim meet because of an ankle injury.

 “koo. . .” you trailed off, not knowing what to say.

 silence was unusual in your relationship. even as the “quieter” members of your friend group, when you and jungkook were alone together, it could take hours for you two to finally shut up. that was one of the things you loved the most about jungkook, how there seemed to never be an end to the things you could talk about. it was one of the more comforting things about your connection.

 so, in this moment, with a load of unsaid words about feelings surrounding graduating, you and jungkook delved into the memories of before. the last four years. 

 you sighed. “talk to me.”

 jungkook offered a lame shrug. his gaze met the blue of the tiles below, swimming in them like he had done so himself endless times. 

 “you know, i remember our first week of freshman year. i never wanted it to end." jungkook squeezes his eyes shut.

 “i know what you mean.”

 “well, i felt the same way this week. i thought it would last forever, just like back then. but, here we are.”

 you rested your head on jungkook’s shoulder, as he automatically pulled you in closer. in that moment, you felt as though you just watched the past few years of your life flash before your very eyes. you could only hope that your youth wasn’t leaving with it either and that it was some irrational fear planted in you by films and poems.

 something in the air that week, the very first week of freshman year, was meant to last forever. you'd never felt such a coexistence of excitement and uncertainty before. i never want this week to end, were the exact words you giggled with yeri at the time.

 likewise, the last week of senior year dragged on for what felt like the rest of your lives. putting behind wild parties, your friends instead gathered for a quiet dinner at doyeon’s apartment, where you sipped on wine and played card games in between conversations that fluttered on reminiscing lost time and sharing dreams for the future. 

 i never want this week to end, you had repeated - only this time, you were much older in every way possible. you didn’t realize that being eighteen and wanting the night to go on forever would feel so much different at twenty one. 

 “you know what i remember from freshman year?” you offered. “i remember how halloween took up all of our first semester - i can’t even remember anything else.”

 that was part of the charm of freshman year, where months lasted for eons. it stretched out between oceans and earth, reflecting visions of the faceless friends that came and went during that fall semester. at the time, it felt like one freshman month was an entire year.

 jungkook chuckled dryly. you were right. somehow, freshman year halloween was so clear and bright in your mind. before the two of you started dating, you accidentally showed up at a party in a couples’ costume - him being mario and you being princess peach. you always declared that you two were meant to be, even from the very start. 

 “i remember you outside of the dorms after that first bonfire. yeri held your hair back while you were puking into a potted plant that night,” he teased.

 your cheeks flushed, as the memory came back to you. it wasn’t your fault that you didn’t grow up drinking in high school. your parents were always strict and taking part in those things was unimaginable, so of course you went crazy as soon as you moved away for university. all you wanted to do was party and be free to do whatever you wanted.

 “yeah, and now you get the grand honour of holding my hair back all the time,” you said.

 “if i’m lucky, for the rest of our lives,” with a twinkle in his eyes, jungkook placed a kiss on your temple. 

 somehow, you felt at peace. maybe it was because you were with that you were sure you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. maybe it was because you found your forever friends. yet, something still felt off.

 “when i was a senior in high school, i thought my world was ending,” you murmured. “i thought the universe was blowing up and i was at the centre of it. is today supposed to feel so calm?”

 he brushed a stray piece of hair out of your face. “i think it’s a good thing.” jungkook eyed your expression. "are you sure you're. . . calm?"

 “maybe it’s just because i’m not a teenager with irrational emotions anymore.”

 jungkook snorted. “you can still be irrational sometimes. you just have better second thoughts.”

 the odd feelings of serenity still stuck to your skin and somehow, still felt like a vice grip. you could only wish the same for jungkook, who continued staring into the ceiling with blank eyes. you just didn’t know where these fears suddenly came from and all you wanted to do was help.

 “man. . where has the time gone?”

 it was a question worth considering. perhaps you had been too busy rejecting the idea of a certain end to entertain the fact this was really happening.

 “absolutely nowhere,” you interjected and he looked confused. “our future is here and we have to own it.”

yet for some reason, you weren't even convincing yourself. the words felt hollow, like you didn't believe them.

 “weren’t you just crying last night about how much you’re going to miss college?”

 you vaguely remember nursing a glass of chardonnay in tears, while doyeon handed you tissues and jungkook cradled your frame.

 at that, you rolled your eyes and said, “i mean, well, yes. but, aren’t you excited? there’s so much out there for us.”

 and it was true. though the future scared you, it was a gift that the sky was the limit. this was the youngest you were ever going to be.

 “it’s not that i’m not excited about today,” he took a deep breath. “everything is just changing so fast. everyone is changing.”

 you looked at the water in front of you, as clear as it was on the day of jungkook’s first ever competition. it seemed so long ago. now, all of your friends were heading in different directions, going towards different winds. some of them were moving back to their hometowns, some off to travel the world, and others still figuring it out. 

 “i’m going to miss late nights with everyone,” you remarked, glancing ahead, as if you were watching the memories play out for you like a movie.

 to your surprise, jungkook’s voice cracked. 

 “it’s not fair that we’ll never get to have those again. not like the way we have it now.”

 “things have to change, jungkook. we can’t grow otherwise.”

 a heavy pause draped upon both of your shoulders, too heavy for a word to be spoken. the silence tied your hands behind your back and looked down on you from sixty metres above. it was a realization that made you feel so small, despite the conclusion coming from your own lips. 

 jungkook didn’t miss the sight. the somberness mirrored his and he let out a loud exhale. then, his back straightened and he suddenly rose to his feet. he ignored your protests. without concern for the splashing of water on his graduation garb, he began walking back to the locker room.

 you blinked slowly. “uh, what are you doing?”

 “stay here! i’ll be one second,” he called out, not turning back to you.

 you were confused, until he emerged once more and he did so with a box in his hand. jungkook’s love language was giving things and buying things for you, no matter how small or big the occasion. he would never let you pay for your own mcdonalds, the same way he presented you with an expensive charm bracelet for your last birthday. you were ready to tell him off, that he seriously did not have to.

 it was a pristine, baby blue box that itched your memory like a spot you couldn’t reach. something so familiar, yet so far away, and it was nestled in your boyfriend’s arms. you furrowed your eyebrows.

 jungkook settled back in his original spot next to you. “i was going to give this to you after the ceremony,” he sighed and placed the box between you two. “but, i guess we’re here now.”

 “what is this, koo?” you questioned. “i thought we weren’t doing gifts for grad - ”

 “it’s something different. open it up.”

 you found it difficult to argue with jungkook, especially looking at his sunken expression. placing a gentle hand on top of his, you lifted the top with your other. at first you were confused, eying the contents. with the first glance, you weren’t even sure what you were looking at.

 after a few moments and closer observation, your lips parted in shock. never, in the million years, would you have expected to open the box to see these items. 

 the pool area was quiet, save for the sharp exhale that left your lungs. jungkook’s eyes trained on you intently, almost nervous to see what you would say. at your shocked expression, the first genuine smile of the day finally twitched at the corner of his lips. your hand tightened over his knuckles and the other one fully pulled the top off the box. you weren’t sure whether to sob or to laugh.

 a part of you grew scared of your younger self and the kind of anger that only lived in seventeen year olds. the truth was, everyone was a little bit scared of growing up and this was a truth that resonated at every age. in that case, maybe this made you realize it was irrational to be afraid of your past lives. it was a shame because you would never have those wide eyes and bright spirit the same way you had it back then. you’ll never had what you had back then, at all. 

 those were your real fears. the ones you pushed behind you as you prepared for today. 

 it was like jungkook knew. his gaze softened at the way the memories began to swallow you like quicksand, it was clear as day in your features. 

 “go on,” he whispered. 

 you gingerly picked up the first item. with a breath, you allowed yourself to be seventeen again - just one more time. 

⇢ 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: @fancypeacepersona @petiteparler @lanie97 @httpjeonlicious @bleumornings @rpwprpwprpwprw (reply to be tagged and if i forgot to tag you!)

[ggukivrse]

henna kisses | jjk

summary. in which you're stuck waiting for your henna to dry, and jungkook takes full advantage to pepper you with kisses

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

word count: 0.6k

genre/warnings: established relationship au, FLUFF, they’re just very much in love it’s sick

notes: first of all, TYSM FOR 500 FOLLOWERS OMG :0 i literally started this acc 3 weeks ago so this is wild to me, but genuinely, thank you so so much ☹️ i wrote this drabble as a baby army so it’s very self indulgent loll, but some of you wanted to read it when i mentioned it here, so here it is :> likes, comments, reblogs, asks & feedback are very appreciated! enjoy reading <33

⌗ masterlist. ⌗ taglist. ⌗ feedback

Your hands are frozen in mid-air, fingers spread, palms facing the ceiling like you're offering up something delicate to the universe. The henna glistens wetly against your skin, intricate patterns looping and curling over your fingers and wrists.

You can't move. You can't touch anything. You can't even scratch the itch teasing the inside of your elbow. And Jungkook knows it.

He's sitting cross-legged in front of you, chin resting on one hand. He looks far too pleased with himself, far too comfortable.

"You know," you say, careful not to shift too much, "this is your fault."

"My fault?" he echoes, all fake innocence, the corners of his mouth twitching. "You're the one who wanted henna."

"You're the one who did the henna," you argue, looking down at the designs blooming over your skin. Tiny flowers, delicate vines, little stars tucked into the spaces between your knuckles. "And you made it so pretty. I didn't know you could even draw like this."

He beams, the kind of smile that makes your stomach flip even though you're firmly planted on the couch. "I had good inspiration."

You roll your eyes, but your cheeks are heating up. You can't even hide it; your hands are too occupied to pull a pillow over your face or smack him playfully like you usually would.

And Jungkook knows. He scoots closer, the couch cushions dipping under his weight. You narrow your eyes at him.

"Kook," you warn. "Don't you dare."

He grins, devilish, and before you can do anything, he's leaning in, brushing the tip of his nose against yours, feather-light. You squeak, trying to recoil, but you can't do much without ruining the henna.

"You're defenseless," he singsongs, poking at your cheek with the gentlest tap of his finger. You jerk your head away instinctively and he laughs, low and breathy, the sound vibrating right into your chest.

"I hate you," you mutter, glaring.

"You love me," he corrects, like it's the simplest truth in the world.

And he doesn't give you a chance to argue, swooping in to press a kiss to your forehead. Another to your temple. One to the tip of your nose. He's quick about it, peppering kisses wherever he can reach, giggling when you try to dodge.

"Jungkook," you whine, laughing despite yourself. "You're going to make me mess it up!"

"I'm helping," he insists, kissing the corner of your mouth, so soft and sweet it makes your heart ache a little. "Distractions make time go faster."

You groan, slumping against the couch, careful to keep your hands up. "You're impossible."

"You picked me," he reminds you smugly, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. His fingertips are warm and careful, like he knows you can't retaliate and is being extra gentle to compensate. "You and your pretty hands."

Your voice is small when you say it, but it slips out anyway. "You really did a good job."

Jungkook's smile softens. He leans back just enough to look at your hands, admiration flickering across his face like he's proud of the art and proud of you just for trusting him with it.

"You look beautiful," he says simply, no teasing now, just honest, overwhelming affection. "Hands and all."

You can't hug him. You can't kiss him back. All you can do is sit there, heart pounding out a rhythm that's almost as intricate as the designs he drew on you, and wait for the henna — and maybe your own overwhelming feelings — to dry.

taglist | click here to join: @thegreatdepressionme @golden-loona @kissyfacekoo @cookysstuff @whoa-jo @minghaosimp @dark-enigma1806 @yooniepot @levisnumber1 @blueofocean @oumy221 @uarmygguk @libra04 @parkinglot-nights @jungkook1love @eyesforjungkook @ronyiboniyy @sebastianlover @nikkinikj @kenzierj11 @bugbxte @operation-619 @gguklovrr @annyeongbitch7 @sheshya @mswannadiesworld @yunhoswrldddd @myenergyandstuff @stardustbaee

[gukcnt]

MOONLIGHT DESIRES — jjk (m.)

“Gonna fill you up,” he growled, his lips brushing your ear. “Gonna make you mine, over and over. You want that, don’t you, pretty girl? Want my cum deep inside you?”

pairing — dom!jungkook x sub!femreader

genre — established relationship, slice of life, domestic vibes, romance, smut, fluff

warnings — 18+, explicit smut, consensual somnophilia, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, cowgirl position, creampie, dirty talk, praise kink, oral sex (f. receiving), clit stimulation, breast play, nipple play, nipple sucking, fingering, cum swallowing, eating out, face riding, face sitting, tongue fucking, hair fisting, implied bruising, mild marking, possessiveness, sleepy sex, love confessions, slight aftercare

wc — 2.5k

masterlist

۶ৎ

The night was heavy with the scent of jasmine drifting through the open window. A ceiling fan spun lazily, stirring the air just enough to make the curtains move. The bed, with a plush white duvet, cradled you and Jungkook in its embrace, the sheets tangled around your legs.

You were asleep, nestled against Jungkook’s chest, your body molded to his as if you were two pieces of a puzzle carved for each other. Your baby pink cotton nightie, delicate and slightly sheer, clung to your curves, the hem riding up to expose the smooth skin of your thighs. The fabric was light, brushing against your skin, and beneath it, you wore nothing. Your nipples, hardened by the cool night air or maybe by the dreams that occured behind your closed eyelids, pressed against the cotton, twin peaks. Between your thighs, a slight warmth bloomed, your clit throbbing, your body betraying its quiet arousal even in sleep, a slickness that glistened faintly in the dim light.

Jungkook stirred, his breath catching as he blinked into the darkness. The clock on the nightstand glowed 2:47 AM. His arm was draped over your waist, his fingers resting just above the curve of your hip, and he could feel the steady rise and fall of your breathing. His chest was bare, his skin warm, and his black sweatpants hung low on his hips, doing little to hide the growing hardness beneath. Your thigh, soft and warm, was slung over his, pressing against him in a way that sent a jolt of heat straight to his core. His cock twitched, straining against the fabric, a thick, pulsing length that ached for you.

He turned his head, his dark eyes tracing the lines of your sleeping form. The moonlight painted your skin, making you look like a dream. Your lips were parted, a soft exhale escaping every few seconds, and your lashes fanned across your cheeks delicately. He swallowed hard, his throat dry, as his gaze lingered on your breasts. The nightie had slipped slightly, one strap falling off your shoulder, and the fabric stretched taut over your nipples, outlining them in a way that made his mouth water. He was obsessed with them, had always been—the way they fit perfectly in his hands, the way they responded to his touch, your nipples hardening under his tongue or fingers.

His hand moved before he could think, sliding up your side, the pads of his fingers grazing the cotton until they reached the swell of your breast. He cupped it gently, his thumb brushing over your nipple, and even in sleep, you reacted—a soft, breathy moan slipping from your lips, your body arching ever so slightly into his touch. The sound igniting something primal in him, and his cock throbbed, the tip already leaking precum that dampened his sweatpants.

“Fuck, baby,” he murmured, his voice a low growl, rough with sleep and desire. “Even in your dreams, you’re begging for me.”

He knew you trusted him, knew you’d given him your consent to explore your body, to push boundaries, to indulge in every fantasy that flickered through his mind. Somnophilia had been a quiet curiosity, something he’d mentioned in passing, and you’d smiled, your eyes glinting with mischief as you’d whispered, “I’m yours, Koo. Always.” The memory of your consent, your unwavering trust, was a fire in his veins now, urging him forward.

He shifted carefully, not wanting to wake you yet, and propped himself on one elbow. His free hand trailed down your body, fingers skimming the dip of your waist, the curve of your hip, until they reached the hem of your nightie. He lifted it slowly, exposing the soft mound of your pussy, bare and glistening in the moonlight. Your folds were slick, inviting, and he bit his lip, stifling a groan as he traced a finger along your slit, gathering your arousal. You were so warm, so wet, and the scent of you, musky and sweet—filled his senses, making his head spin.

His cock was painfully hard now, a thick, veined length that pulsed with need. He could feel the heat of it through his sweatpants, the tip swollen and sensitive, and he shifted his hips, trying to ease the ache. But it was no use—every brush of your thigh, every soft moan you let out, was driving him closer to the edge.

He parted your folds with two fingers, exposing your clit, a small, glistening pearl that begged for attention. He rubbed it gently, circling it with the pad of his thumb, and your hips twitched, another moan spilling from your lips—this one louder, a keening sound that made his heart race. Your pussy clenched around nothing, a silent plea, and he couldn’t resist. He slid one finger inside you, then two, marveling at how easily you took him, your walls warm and slick with your arousal.

“God, doll,” he whispered, his voice thick with awe. “You’re so fucking perfect. So wet for me, even when you’re sleeping.”

He pumped his fingers slowly, curling them to brush against that sensitive spot inside you, and your moans grew more insistent, uncontrollable noises of soft whimpers and breathy sighs. Your brows furrowed slightly, your body reacting even as your mind remained in the haze of sleep, and he watched, entranced, as your nipples hardened further, your breasts heaving with each shallow breath.

He leaned down, unable to resist, and took one nipple into his mouth, sucking gently through the cotton. The fabric was thin, almost nonexistent, and he could taste your skin, feel the hard bud against his tongue. He rolled it between his lips, flicking it with the tip of his tongue, and you gasped, your back arching, pressing your breast further into his mouth. He groaned, the vibration sending a shiver through you, and he switched to the other nipple, lavishing it with the same attention, his fingers never slowing their rhythm between your thighs.

Your moans were a unstoppable now, a mix of soft “ohs” and sharp gasps, each one a prove to how your body craved him. “Koo,” you mumbled, the word slurred with sleep, and his cock twitched at the sound of his name on your lips. He was so hard it hurt, his balls tight and aching, but he didn’t want to rush this. He wanted to savor every second, every reaction, every sound.

He felt your walls tighten around his fingers, a sign that you were close, and he redoubled his efforts, rubbing your clit faster, his thumb pressing just hard enough to make your hips buck. Your orgasm hit suddenly, a wave that crashed through you, and your eyes fluttered open, a soft cry tearing from your throat as your pussy clenched around his fingers, soaking them with your release.

“Jungkook?” you mumbled, your voice thick with sleep, your eyes hazy as you blinked up at him. Confusion flickered across your face, but your body was already responding, your hips grinding against his hand, chasing the aftershocks of your climax.

“Shh, baby,” he murmured, his voice soothing but laced with hunger. “Just let me take care of you. You’re doing so good.”

He withdrew his fingers, slick with your arousal, and brought them to his mouth, sucking them clean with a low groan. The taste of you, tangy and sweet—made his head spin, and he needed more. He shifted, guiding you onto your back, and climbed between your thighs, his hands hooking under your knees to spread you open. Your nightie was bunched around your waist now, your pussy glistening in the moonlight, and he dove in, his tongue lapping at your folds, drinking in your arousal like a man starved.

You moaned, your hands fisting the sheets, your head lolling back as he devoured you. His tongue was relentless, flicking against your clit, dipping into your entrance, and then back to your clit, circling it with a precision that made your toes curl. Your thighs trembled, and he gripped them tighter, holding you in place as he feasted, his own moans vibrating against your skin.

“Koo, oh God,” you whimpered, your voice a mix of sleep and desire, your body reacting instinctively even as your mind struggled to catch up. You were still half dreaming, caught in a haze of pleasure, and he loved it—loved how pliant you were, how trusting, how utterly his.

“Come for me again, pretty girl,” he growled against your pussy, his breath hot against your skin. “I know you can. Let me feel it.”

He sucked your clit into his mouth, rolling it with his tongue, and you shattered, a second orgasm ripping through you, your cry loud and raw, echoing in the quiet room. Your back arched, your thighs clamping around his head, and he drank you in, lapping up every drop until you were trembling, oversensitive and gasping.

He pulled back, his lips glistening with your arousal, and climbed up your body, his sweatpants discarded somewhere in the haze. His cock was free now, thick and heavy, the tip red and dripping with precum. He gripped it, stroking himself as he looked down at you, your eyes half lidded, your chest heaving, your nightie a crumpled mess around your waist.

“Ride me, baby,” he said, his voice rough with need. “I want to feel you.”

He helped you up, guiding you to straddle him, and you sank down onto his cock, inch by inch, until he was buried to the hilt. He groaned, his hands gripping your hips, and you whimpered, your hands braced on his chest as you adjusted to his size. He was thick, stretching you in a way that was both painful and perfect, and you could feel every vein, every pulse of his cock inside you.

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he growled, his eyes dark with lust. “So fucking perfect. Move for me, doll. Show me how much you love this.”

You started to move, slow at first, your hips rocking in a lazy pace, but he was impatient, his hands guiding you, urging you faster. You found your rythm, riding him with abandon, your moans filling the air—high-pitched whines, breathy gasps, and soft cries of his name. Your breasts bounced under the nightie, your nipples still hard, and he reached up, pinching them through the fabric, making you gasp and clench around him.

“That’s it, baby,” he praised, his voice a low rumble. “You’re taking me so well. My perfect girl. My fucking goddess.”

His words fueled you more, and you rode him harder, your thighs burning, your pussy dripping with a mix of your arousal and his precum. He was close, you could tell—his jaw was clenched, his eyes blazing, his hands gripping your hips so tightly you knew there’d be bruises tomorrow. But he wasn’t done yet. He sat up, pulling you against his chest, and thrust up into you, taking control.

“Gonna fill you up,” he growled, his lips brushing your ear. “Gonna make you mine, over and over. You want that, don’t you, pretty girl? Want my cum deep inside you?”

“Yes, Koo,” you gasped, your head thrown back, your nails digging into his shoulders. “Please, please, fill me up.”

He thrust harder, his cock hitting that spot inside you with every stroke, and you came again, a blinding orgasm that left you shaking, your cry muffled against his shoulder. He followed seconds later, his release hot and thick, spilling inside you as he groaned your name, his hands clutching you like you were his lifeline.

You collapsed against him, both of you panting, your bodies slick with sweat and arousal. He held you close, his hands gentle now, stroking your back, your hair, as he murmured soft praises against your skin. “You’re so good, baby. So fucking perfect. I love you so much.”

You smiled, sleepy and sated, your body still trembling with aftershocks. “Love you too, Koo,” you mumbled, your voice barely a whisper as you drifted back toward sleep, safe in his arms.

The moonlight bathed you both, the room quiet except for the sound of your breathing, and as Jungkook held you, his heart full, he knew there was nowhere else he’d rather be.

[cigarettesuga]

— new territory. (jjk)

pairing: idol!jungkook × f!girlfriend

genre: smut, fluff, experimental firsts, soft filth, boyfriend!jungkook supremacy

word count: 1~k (really short, not really fond of long pieces, sorry)

warnings: explicit content (mdni) pretty much literary 🌽 without any plot, ass play (f!receiving), fingering, messy kisses, soft dom/pleaser!jk, praise, cocky teasing, shy moments, lots of consent and communication, a sprinkle of overstimulation, Jungkook being obsessed with you in general. this is p1. (maybe I'll upload the following parts).

m.list | latest

your thighs are already shaking when he asks.

his voice rough, low in your ear —

“baby… can i try something?”

you can barely nod, already drunk on him, dizzy from how well he knows your body.

the way he loves your body.

how he worships every curve, every soft little sound you make just for him.

"yeah," you whisper, breathless.

"anything."

and fuck, the look he gives you —

dark, a little wild, so full of hunger —

it makes your stomach flip, heat flooding between your legs all over again.

his fingers trail down your side, slow, deliberate, as if he's still giving you a chance to stop him.

but you don't.

you won't.

you trust him with everything.

he kisses your shoulder, your spine, so much tenderness it almost makes you whimper.

then he slides his hand lower —

past the slick between your thighs, which he already dragged so many desperate orgasms out of,

lower,

tracing the curve of your ass.

"pretty girl," he murmurs, squeezing softly, almost distracted —

like he's getting drunk just touching you.

"jungkook," you whine, shifting, sensitive and needy and still so open for him.

he chuckles under his breath, cocky but sweet, dragging his teeth over your skin.

"patience, baby. wanna make you feel good."

his hand coasts lower again, this time circling your tightest rim, feather-light, not pushing, just... exploring.

your whole body tenses on instinct — not fear, just the shock of something new.

immediately, he notices.

"you okay?"

his voice is rough but soft, always checking, always gentle underneath all that cocky bravado.

you nod, burying your face in the pillow.

"y-yeah. just..."

you laugh a little, nervous.

"feels weird. but not bad."

jungkook hums — pleased, soothing — and presses a sweet kiss to your lower back.

"pretty girl’s so good for me," he murmurs.

"letting me touch her everywhere."

you shiver when he says it like that.

like you're something precious.

like you're something he wants to treasure and ruin all at once.

he licks his fingers — slow, exaggerated — right where you can see if you peek over your shoulder.

"gonna make it feel good, i promise."

and god, when he circles your rim again, this time slick with spit and the mess he already made of you —

it’s so much better.

hot and dirty and thrilling in a way you weren't ready for.

he presses a little more firmly now, rubbing slow, teasing circles, and the burn is there —

but it's small, manageable, drowned out by the overwhelming heat of it.

"fuck, look at you," he mutters, voice wrecked.

"taking it so good for me."

your cheeks flush.

your hips rock back unconsciously, chasing more.

he grins against your skin, teeth scraping down your spine.

"you like it?"

he asks, cocky but breathless, already knowing the answer.

you whimper into the pillow.

"y-yeah. more, kookie."

he moans low — deep in his chest — like you just wrecked him with two words.

"god, you're so fucking sexy," he growls, and then he's pressing the tip of his finger in —

just barely —

giving you time to breathe, to get used to it.

it’s tight.

a little strange.

but his hand on your waist is steady, grounding, and he’s whispering so much praise it makes your head spin.

"doing so good for me."

"so fucking pretty, baby."

"love you so much."

he moves slow, careful, shallow thrusts until you relax around him —

and when you do, he groans, a full-body shudder running through him.

"fuck," he gasps.

"you’re gonna kill me."

you laugh shakily, feeling powerful and ruined all at once.

his free hand slides between your legs again, two fingers finding your clit with devastating precision —

and suddenly the pleasure spikes, blinding.

"shit, kook —"

you jerk, overwhelmed, grinding back against his hand without thinking.

"that’s it, baby," he pants.

"feel good? you gonna cum for me again?"

you nod frantically, already so close it’s embarrassing.

he curls his finger just slightly inside you — gentle, careful, but there —

and rubs your clit harder, faster, fucking you on both hands now.

the pressure builds so fast it’s almost unbearable.

you sob his name, broken, and he just groans louder, filthy and reverent.

"cum for me, pretty girl," he begs, voice wrecked.

"wanna feel you fall apart."

and fuck — you do.

you cum so hard you nearly black out, body locking up, muscles clenching around him everywhere.

he holds you through it, whispering praise against your skin, stroking you through the aftershocks with steady, loving hands.

when you finally collapse, shaking and ruined and smiling like an idiot into the pillow,

he kisses the back of your neck, your shoulder, your spine —

slow, reverent, worshipful.

"so fucking perfect," he murmurs, easing his hands away with infinite care.

"my perfect girl."

you giggle, loose and drunk on him.

"you’re so obsessed with me," you tease weakly.

he laughs against your skin, biting you playfully.

"damn right i am."

and when he rolls you over and cuddles you close, stroking your hair and peppering kisses all over your face —

you know it’s true.

he’s yours.

completely.

and you wouldn’t want him any other way.

⠀

quietly, always © cigarettesuga

⠀

[gldrushh]

GUILTY AS SIN? | MASTERPOST

"You are both haunted things. Mistakes you didn’t mean to make and aching you didn’t know how to hold. Grief, guilt, love—they all braid themselves into something relentless. And still, even in the ruin, you keep finding each other."

⟶ PAIRING: brother in law!jungkook x widowed fem!reader

⟶ GENRE: childhood friends to lovers, forbidden love au, angst, smut, fluff

⟶ W.C: 34.4k

⟶ RATING: 18+ MINORS DNI

⟶ STATUS: One more part to go

⟶ WARNINGS: unrequited love (at first), minor character death, mention of cancer, hospitals,deals with grief and healing, angst, so much angst, complex family relationships, childhood love, tension, pining, yearning (mostly from Mr I can not, not look at you), pathetic man in love, lovesick!jk, buisness guy!jk, emotionally constipated, college professor!oc, rich people not being casual with get togethers, namjin, yoongi mention, everybody knows but her, protective!jk, jealous!jk, smut, comes with body worship, know more in chapter inclusive ones

⟶ A/N: Hi loves! My finals have officially ended (freedom tastes so sweet), and now that I have way too much time on my hands, I decided to finally sit down and put together this little Guilty As Sin masterpost for you all! I am unbelievably thankful for all the love this fic has received. I know I've said it before but it really means so much, especially since I never imagined it. The final part is on its way very, very soon. Can't wait to share it with you 🫶💗 also requests are open for the drabbles for this couple drop in my inbox if you have any love you so much!!

MASTERLIST | WATTPAD | AO3

⤹ CHAPTER INDEX .ᐟ.ᐟ

⤹ PART 𝐈: Drowning in the Blue Nile. He sent me 'Downtown Lights'. I hadn't heard it in a while.

"You are stuck in time, and Jungkook doesn't stop running from it until he eventually does, and you learn that grief doesn’t wait for death, that love isn't all that dignifying."

W.C: 17.33K

⤹ PART 𝐈𝐈: Crashing into him tonight. He's a paradox. I'm seeing visions, am I bad?

"He remembered how to stay—and you learned that some things are worth the mess, that love sometimes comes too late, but longing never does."

W.C: 17.8k

⤹ PART 𝐈𝐈𝐈: They don't know how you've haunted me. So stunningly. I choose you and me Religiously.

....

W.C: TBD

⤹ EXTRAS .ᐟ.ᐟ

⤹ PLAYLIST

⤹ REQUEST FOR DRABBLES

⤹ OLD EDIT & NEW

© All rights reserved to user @/gldrushh. Please do not plagiarize, re-post, or translate. At least not without my consent.