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aealzx · 5 months ago

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Prologue | AO3

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“You came all the way out here to ask me to identify a plant?” Pamela was understandably incredulous as she blocked Tim from entering her current residence.

“Weeelll,” Tim drawled, shrugging with one shoulder. “Spoiler and Orphan said you’d be the best to contact. We could go elsewhere, but then I’d have to find somewhere else for these bacon and egg sandwiches,” he explained, revealing the hand that was behind his back to be holding a paper bag for a local food joint. It was a bribe. Or payment for services rendered if one wanted to be posh about it. But he was fine calling it a bribe.

“Aw hell yeah!” Harleen’s voice came from further in the establishment, and Tim caught just the faintest hint of a smile twitching Pamela’s mouth. She tried to resist, but Tim held his ground with a decidedly innocent smile, the bag of egg sandwiches still held in offering.

Eventually Pamela sighed and held out her hand. “Fine. What identifiers do you have for it?” she relented, letting Tim set the bag of food on her palm.

“Not much honestly. The locals call it a blood blossom, but I doubt it’s a haemanthus coccineus. We don’t have a picture, but we’re told it looks like a red rose bud with black leaves,” Tim answered. He’d done his own research already while waiting for the food to be made, and that was part of the reason he didn’t feel bad for following through with the others’ idea to ask Pamela. He had a few guesses already, but it would be nice to get a second opinion.

“A rose with black leaves?” Pamela repeated, her disappointed expression becoming thoughtful. “That’s it? Nothing else?” she asked soon after, frowning deeper if possible.

“Nothing else,” Tim confirmed, both disappointed and pleased that Pamela also didn’t seem able to come up with an answer.

“Sounds made up,” Pamela answered bluntly, shifting to move back into the building. “There aren’t any roses with black leaves unless they’re mutilated. The closest you’ll get is a begonia switzerland if you’re just going by appearance.”

“Oh…. that’s what I thought too,” Tim hummed, raising a curled finger to his chin.

Pamela’s eye twitched. “Then why did you-.... Goodbye,” she stammered, then figured it wasn’t worth her time to deal with Tim further, and closed the door on him.

Tim could only snort in amusement, raising his voice for just a moment. “Thanks for the info! Enjoy the food!” he called, grinning as he turned to grapple himself back to the rooftops.

So the blood blossoms were either an extremely obscure name for some other plant, or they didn’t actually exist. And if they didn’t exist, then what had poisoned Danny? At least Dick and Damian were heading straight to the manor to follow up with Alfred about meals, and bring the tissue sample with the plant based poison to where Bruce could use their tech to better analyze it. And Barbara had already mentioned she’d meet them there, so while they might not have a good start on two of the three questions they should at least be able to figure out who these kids were exactly.

—----------

“They don’t exist,” Barbara’s conclusion about the five Phantom kids they had custody of was short, but did little to answer any questions the others had. After spending a few hours gathering her data she had decided to join the others at the manor, the three who had returned from the rescue mission, Bruce, and her now gathered in the Bat Cave by the computer. Admittedly that hadn’t been something they fully expected to hear, so there were sagging shoulders from both Dick and Tim at the announcement.

“You ran the search in all of the databases, yeah?” Tim asked, immediately trying to figure out what they had missed. Barbara was usually extremely thorough. It was hard to believe she came up with nothing on a group of five people. Especially when two of them had superhuman abilities.

“Yes, Tim,” Barbara responded quickly. “If you’ll let me continue before you try to solve the problem yourself I’ll save you some steps,” she added, getting a mildly teasing smile. When Tim relented with a mild shrug Barbara turned her chair back to the computer, pulling her reports up on the huge monitor.

“The DNA samples came up with no results. Amity Park doesn’t exist on any map. There’s no social media posts about any combination of their names. And the photo Jason sent of Jazz’s ID also has no results. It doesn’t even resemble the official driver’s license format of Illinois or any of the other states, so it’s not hard to see why the bank teller would call it a fake,” she listed, bringing up the reports from her data scouring as she mentioned them. “The only activity I can track from them is here in Gotham, starting 72 days ago. I believe that’s when they first arrived here.”

The date caused Bruce to shift, breaking out of his silence once it seemed Barbara had finished summarizing her findings and drawing a connection to a separate report he’d gotten more than a month ago. “72 days ago is when the Justice League got readings of an anomaly on the outskirts of Gotham. Investigations revealed some remains of unknown technology, but no one was there with it.”

“...What kind of anomaly?” Dick asked, tensing slightly at a thought that crossed his mind. Unknown DNA, unusable bank and ID cards, two of them claiming to be beings that were never heard of before now.

“Please don’t say multiverse breach,” Tim whined, revealing that he’d had the same thoughts as Dick.

Instead of answering them Bruce just opened a different report, having been locating it as his sons had been speaking. When the data appeared on screen both Dick and Tim let out extended groans, their forms sagging even more as Barbara chuckled softly.

“It had to be dimension garbage,” Tim whined more, squinting at the report confirming suspected multiverse breach residue in the affected area.

“That explains all the missing data,” Barbara commented, just glad to have an explanation for why all her research was coming up blank prior to the anomaly. It was because they literally had nothing on this earth before then, and not because they were some sort of geniuses that could manage such an extensive data wipe to make even her systems come up with blanks.

“That also explains why Dr. Isley was unfamiliar with the blood blossoms,” Damian added, seeming unfazed by the revelation.

“And literally everything else that was weird about them,” Tim encompassed, frustration bleeding into his tone. What kind of puzzle didn’t even have answers in this world? He felt like that was cheating.

“Do they seem aware that they are no longer in their dimension? We’re sure this wasn’t a deliberate transport?” Bruce asked, masking his growing concern for the dislocated children by suggesting they might still be hiding something.

“Please, these kids can’t hide anything that well,” Tim huffed, giving a wry smile. “The only reason they’re able to hide anything is because they’re also oblivious. Otherwise it’s way too easy to tell they’re keeping something a secret.”

Bruce only frowned more at the response, and Barbara couldn’t help add her own support of the idea that the Phantoms had no idea they weren’t even close to home. “They seemed to have had enough to deal with, I don’t think they had time to consider it. Almost 80% of their activity ties back to them looking for ectoplasm. The other 20% is just general medical care and necessities of living.”

“Ectoplasm is the stuff they said Danny needed,” Dick added unnecessarily.

“I remember,” Bruce responded, though he could also understand why the kids had such a hard time tracking down a source. Most of Gotham didn’t even believe in ghosts, and the only people he or his family knew that matched the category were Boston and Greta. “Their search led them to a Lazarus water exchange.”

“Yeah. But apparently even though it’s similar enough, the Lazarus water is ‘freaky’ and they don’t want to use it according to Danielle,” Dick confirmed, using air quotes for what the small girl had said.

“All five of them have traces of another substance I’ve never seen before that seems similar to residue from Lazarus water as well,” Barbara spoke up to add, reaching over to the computer once more as she once again had their attention. The DNA analysis reports were enlarged, and she used a screen sketch app to mark the unusual traces. “It’s most prominent in Danielle and Danny, though Danny’s levels read a lot lower. But the other three have small traces as well.”

“The one called Danielle made mention of Danny having expended a significant amount of energy, to the point his accelerated healing ability has been hindered. And that there was a lack of locations with an abundance of said energy for them to absorb,” Damian recalled, ignoring the face Tim pulled as he slowly turned to look at him.

“You made that sound way more complicated than she did,” Tim grimaced.

“Silence Drake,” Damian retorted simply.

Dick could only snicker while keeping his gaze on the reports like Bruce was doing. “This will make it easier to track some of the substance down. I’ll see if I can create a collection device to make it easier for us to get larger amounts, and work on a way to neutralize the residual plant material,” Bruce commented, already making plans for the next course of action.

“After dinner,” Dick enforced, resting his hands on the back of Bruce’s chair.

Bruce seemed to consider it, falling silent and keeping his gaze on the monitor, giving no answer other than a short grunt after a long stretch of quiet.

Dick only leaned on the chair more, pulling it back slightly. “Aaaaafter dinner, Bruce. Thirty minutes isn’t going to be that big of a loss,” he prodded.

“...Alfred put you up to this, didn’t he,” Bruce pointed out instead of responding to the request.

“He did,” Dick confirmed, admitting to being requested to make sure Bruce got at least one hearty meal before getting lost in his work once again.

Bruce considered it longer, and by then the rest of his children were already on their way back upstairs. Did he really want Alfred hassling him again? “... Very well. After dinner,” he relented, getting to his feet with a slight sigh and locking the computer screen.

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Dimension hopping confirmed~ And I just realized I now have 2 fanfics that involve dimension hopping X'D that was unintentional.

Questions for the people following/interested: because I'm not familiar with most of DC or really DP's canon and fanon content and there's so freaking much of it out there, which characters would you like to see involved? No guarantees that they'll be in if I can't figure out how to get them to fit, but I need somewhere to start researching stuff X'DD. Also there's essentially 2 goals, wake Danny up, and get Team Phantom back home. How difficult should these tasks be, and which one would people rather have more focus on?

This fic originated from a prompt I found, so I think it might be fun to kind of keep that going? A different kind of writing exercise than what I'm used to. So that's why the questions instead of me just going heheh have a cliffhanger.

Though I will say I'm still of the opinion of no romance, so please don't suggest pairings |D

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Tag list: @galaxy-sharks-and-bottled-ships, @starscreamlover, @nerdynonnativenarnian, @dragongoblet, @zeestarfishalien, @bellathecatastrophe, @cj-ghostemoji-destielpie, @asexual-insomniac, @wolfeyedwitch, @tkiesai, @fanaroff, @raven1508, @nebulainajar, @serasvictoria02, @oliocelottafanfics, @honeysuckletook, @omniithe-deer, @wolf-under-the-stars, @gingernutcalo, @that-random-fangirl

#my art #dp x dc #dc x dp #dcxdp #dpxdc #phantom rogues #long post #writing #fanfic

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crucifiedramblings · 10 months ago

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liability — unsub!spencer x bau!reader (part one)

minors dni, adult content ahead. minors/ageless blogs will be blocked.

summary: after a year of being engaged, spencer reid left you behind and resigned from quantico. you haven’t heard from him since, and your life has finally returned to a somewhat normal state. you moved into your own place, got promoted to hotchner’s prior position, and started to heal. it’s been two years since that fateful day when you get an unexpected visitor at the office— and you’re all alone.

warnings: heavy smut, implied dubcon, manipulation/gaslighting, sadistic themes, pet names, oral (f receiving), fingering, overstimulation if you squint, choking, spit, bruising/marking

word count: 2.4k

next part: n/a

notes: so, spencer being an unsub isn't really discussed (there isn't much talking at all, if we are being real), but he is one of their open cases when him and the reader, uh . . . reconnect. he is more dark-natured and resilient than he used to be. this is gonna be at least two parts, apologies for any leading on i may have done here!

you rubbed your eyes intensely, powering through the last few pages of reports that you had to proofread before faxing over to hotch. when you agreed to take over his job, celebrating his success in moving up the chain of command, you never expected it to be so draining. you rarely got to go home on time, spending most evenings in your office when everyone had long since hit the road. your fellow agents often offered to keep you company, but you refused. there was no good reason that multiple of you had to have a spoiled evening. it was very odd being the boss, but also endearing. you had to make frequent tough calls, some nearly impossible, but it was part of the charm. or, at least, that is what you told yourself to justify it.

you sipped your coffee, staring at the brazen plate on your door with your name engraved into it. you went as far as to move into hotchner’s old office space, filling the cream-colored walls with frames of pressed flowers and pinned moths. you were a collector of your favorite people and experiences; you kept a dart board for jareau, a mockingjay print for gideon, a colorful puzzle collage for penelope, and— unfortunately— a chess board for spencer. you had other things too, but those were the main items on full display in your office. although, you kept a group photo of you, morgan and hotch on your desk.

you used the armrests of your chair to push yourself to your feet, stretching and starting the walk to the kitchen area. you made a small snack and a fresh pot of coffee, running to the restroom before pouring a new cup. the steam curled up into the air, the aroma of the grounds filling your nose. as you tried to enjoy the earthy smell, you couldn’t help but feel as though you were being observed or studied, like an animal in its enclosure — analyzed. you turned slowly, greeted with an empty room and a door that was slightly ajar, although you could’ve sworn it was closed when you came in. it was getting late, nearing almost two in the morning by now. your memory has never proved to be the most reliable when deprived of much-needed rest.

you slowly tugged your way back up the stairs to your office, the elevators being locked down after a certain time. rounding the corner, you narrowed your eyes, confused to find your office flooded in darkness. the lamp had shut off when you were gone. you didn’t like how this felt — you weren’t losing it, were you? this floor had frequent surges in random rooms, so it wasn’t entirely nerve-wracking. you sighed, blindly making your way to the lamp in the far corner and tugging the cord to turn it on. you allowed your eyes to adjust, making a disgruntled groan when you remembered the reports waiting for you.

as you turned to sit back at your computer, you were met with a very familiar face — doctor spencer reid. he sat, nonchalantly occupying your chair with a hairpin curve of a smirk on his lips. he looked smug. you weren’t sure if it was because he had been able to sneak past security without detection, or because he was able to sneak past you. your face fell flat, dropping the mug of coffee you had been carrying. it shattered on the floor, hot coffee spilling all over your leather shoes. you didn’t even care, so stunned that you couldn’t bring yourself to speak. spencer picked up on that, standing from the chair in one swift motion and approaching your smaller frame.

“you look wonderful,” his voice was melodious to your ears, even if it shouldn’t have been, “even better than the day i left.” spencer let a low chuckle bubble up from his chest, gently grasping your hands in his own. you ripped away from his touch furiously, stepping back as your eyes stung with prickling tears that collected in the corners.

“you don’t—” you sniffled, swiping your hair out of your face, “you don’t get to fucking do that! you don’t get to drop everything, abandon the people you love, just to come back whenever you feel like it!” you raised your voice, determined to make him feel what you had, “get the fuck out.” you gestured to the door and shoved past him, sitting in your chair and starting up the report you had due. spencer lingered by the introductory door plate, reading it with a chuckle.

“you really made something of yourself, huh, angel?” spencer’s voice adorned a soft and flirty lilt, “i’m so proud of you—” he approached your desk once more, leaning across and steadying his weight on his palms. “i don’t think you really want me to leave, do you, pup?” he circled your desk like he was a starving piranha, placing his hands on either side of your chair and forcing you to have nowhere else to go. he leaned in close, face dipping down to your neck as he left a trail of haphazard kisses along your jaw and throat. he occasionally pulled the tender skin between his teeth, sucking down hard and fast to see what kind of noise he could force from your perfect mouth. “i think you still need me, even if you don’t want to.” spencer hummed, tongue running a stripe of saliva along your collar.

“stop,” you weakly whispered, only because your pride wouldn’t allow you to tell him what you truly wanted; him. spencer had been gone so long, you almost forgot how effortlessly good he made you feel. the wet patch on your panties tripled in size the longer he toyed with you, but everything aside, he hurt you. he abandoned you. yet, in this moment, no hurt he was responsible for mattered. you knew that if hotch were here, he would have talked some sense into you. unfortunately, spencer knew how to melt your brain right out of your cunt in the most devious ways.

“am i making you nervous?” spencer danced his fingertips along your collarbones and released a content sigh, “i’m willing to bet that i am— the way your breath hitches when i touch you, clenching your teeth and trying to hide any sign of how turned on you’ve gotten from the lightest brush of my fingers—” he took a brief pause, gently sliding your blazer from your shoulders as you absent-mindedly parted your back from the chair to assist him. “the human body is so strange; you could be the best profiler in the bau, keeping your emotions under wraps with no error, and your silent cues would still give away everything i need to know.” spencer’s voice dipped into a low, sultry tone as he felt the newly exposed skin of your upper torso.

“and—” you cleared your throat, straightening your posture as you locked eyes with the other in an attempt to assert yourself. “what do my silent cues tell you, doctor reid?” you narrowed your eyes, trying to persuade your inner, more sex-driven monologue to stop thinking about his hands on your—

“you’re torn,” spencer started, “part of you wants to kill me for leaving you— but you have to understand, sweetheart— you would have just gotten in the way. you weren’t ready for that kind of lifestyle.” you were confused, to say the least, and his patronizing tone only made you more pissed until he grasped your jaw and forced you to keep eye contact. “i’ve been very bad,” he grinned, “and i didn’t want to bring you down that road with me.” his expressions, his dialogue— all of it was reminiscent of the likable villain in a suspense film; although, in your line of work, there was rarely such a thing.

“what about the other part?” you spoke up once his grip on your face has loosened, hands shoving into the pockets of his slacks. it was your turn to do the profiling, you thought, observing his pacing from the door to the window as he was almost lost in thought. spencer seemed uncomfortable in his clothes, as though he had avoided wearing business attire since the last time he worked in quantico. to you, it appeared as though he dressed up for this interaction, as though he wanted it to be memorable. he wore white socks, wanting to bring more attention to his shoes— brown leather oxfords, the same exact pair you bought him for his thirtieth birthday.

his voice interrupted your long-winded hypothesis on his wardrobe choices, and you noticed that he was significantly closer than when you had gotten distracted. spencer was now behind your chair, hands gently caressing your shoulders and chuckling to himself. “the other part of you,” he dipped down to whisper in your ear, “wants me to bend you right over your own desk and show you how sorry i am for leaving you behind.” you silently froze, any words in response getting caught in your throat. you couldn’t bring yourself to make a sound, as if any noise would make him disappear.

“why did you wait so long to come back?” you quietly asked, and he immediately spun your chair around to face him. spencer leaned in, pressing his lips to yours gently and moving fluidly with you at your chosen pace. he hummed, pulling away as he lapped up a bit of your spit from his lower lip.

“derailing your life wasn’t my choice to make, my sweet girl.” spencer’s dark eyes grew soft, although you could tell it wasn’t as genuine as he wanted to sound. “i always stayed close, though.” his tone made you nervous, as though he were alluding to something. your eyes darted to the computer screen, reading a message from hotch that had just been sent through, until spencer ripped the cord from the wall and pushed the entire system onto the floor.

before you could properly react, spencer was back onto you, lips attacking yours with a newfound desire and aggression. you melted into him, hands roaming anywhere and everywhere you could reach. his left hand snaked down to your thighs, pushing your skirt up and applying pressure against the front of your underwear. you shivered, a small gasp flooding from your throat as his middle finger effortlessly made a glide down your damp slit. he peeled your panties away from your body, making a comment about how your wetness had pooled slightly in the lower half of your chair. your face flushed with embarrassment as you quickly kicked off your heels and allowed your undergarments to fall to the floor.

spencer took his time with your skirt, knowing it was one of your favorites. he assisted you to your feet, sliding the garment over the curves of your hips and drinking in the sight of your bare lower half. his erection had been slowly and steadily pitching a tent in his pants as the two of you took your time, savoring each other as long as possible.

spencer pulled you flush against his torso and kissed you with unresolved pain and passion, letting his free hand dip between your thighs once more to rub circles into your clit. you let out a conflicted moan, burying your face into his chest and slightly rolling your hips into his touch. he chuckled, removing his fingers from your sweet spot and weaving them into your hair. he grabbed a fistful, tugging your head back in a swift, hard motion. you let out a subtle grunt, eyes staring at him in a way you could only describe as lovesick.

“can i be rough with you?” spencer asked, voice low and hesitant. you were confused; he never wanted to be rough before, although you always hoped he would be. you nodded eagerly, practically begging. you wanted tonight to leave you bruised and exhausted, knowing you may not see him again. his eyes were dark, and he tossed you to the floor with a grin. you took a breath as you hit the ground, lying limp for him as you wondered what he had been waiting to do to you for so long.

you watched with curious eyes as spencer swept his arm languidly across your desk and knocked everything onto the floor. he effortlessly hoisted you up and bent you over the polished wooden surface, smoothing his palms across your ass before striking your bare left cheek with no warning. you yelped, clutching the sides of the desk with white knuckles. he hit the other cheek a bit softer, humming before trying again when the previous hit’s reaction wasn’t to his liking. you let out a slightly strangled moan as he continued to land another blow, making your backside a rosy shade of pink.

spencer wedged his shoe between your feet, forcefully spreading your legs. he ghosted his fingertips across your clit and you quietly begged. he tugged your hair, lifting you up to his level, “keep your fucking mouth shut and i’ll reward you.” spencer dropped you back onto the desk, making sure to keep his hand on your belly to lessen the impact on your ribs. you quietly gasped as he shoved his fingers into your wet cunt, curling them into you painfully slowly as you pushed back into him. his other hand firmly held your hips in place, warning you to keep still unless you wanted him to stop.

. . .

hotch groaned, dialing your phone once again. he was anxiously pacing his livingroom, trying not to wake jack as he started to feel the panic set in. he found his eyes tracing the whiteboard again, the old one he had decided to lug out of his garage because he was always better at connecting the missing parts if he could visualize them. hotch had several photos taped up, lines connecting them between scenes and witness statements. there were only two things he knew for sure about this unsub; one— the suspect at large had experience in the field of law enforcement, and two— the suspect had an abnormally high iq. coupling those together with the timeline of events, hotch had made a break; the unsub they had been searching for was spencer reid.

all of his victims had looked a bit too much like you for it to be coincidental, and were all stalked and referred to as pet names for weeks before their confirmed deaths. hotch had been trying to reach you for the last hour, a strong suspicion arising that spencer was going to visit you at the bureau, and— if he didn’t hurry— would make you his final victim.

in a worried haze, hotch clipped on his belt, securing his gun in his holster before taking off full speed towards the only place he knew you would be— his old office.

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds fic #dark spencer reid #matthew gray gubler

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crowandmousewritingco · 6 months ago

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The Aurelac Gallery Pt1

Pairing: Ezra x gn!reader

Words: 1.2k

Rating: G (will turn M in later chapters)

Summary: After suffering from artist's block, you travel to Secret Springs for inspiration. And maybe something more.

Author: Mod Mouse

Notes: I wrote this for the Secret Springs project led by @secretelephanttattoo . If you are curious about any other of the fabulously creative people also participating, see their blog for masterlists. Also this is my first time writing for Ezra. I hope I portrayed him well. Thank you to @morallyinept for the wonderful writing aides. Truly doing Kevva's work out here.

Part 2

To say you were in an artist stump was an understatement. It had been months since you sold a piece and your art dealer wasn’t very thrilled at your performance. You tried to explain that nothing inspired you anymore, and in an exasperated voice your art dealer said, “Well go on vacation or something. Find inspiration somewhere else.”

And that’s just what you did. Here you were spending time in a beautiful resort town bustling with visitors and locals alike. It was an idyllic scenery with the ocean on one side and beautiful skiing on the other. Everything was at your fingertips to inspire the next stage of your art career. Which was almost too overwhelming for you. You could paint everything, but where should you start?

You sighed as you leaned against the wall of a local coffee shop called Catfish Coffee. You had confessed to the barista there that nothing was giving you inspiration. He kindly suggested a gallery down the road called Aurelac that could help you jump start your creativity.

So there you were finishing your coffee thinking about art. You took your final sips, tossing the paper cup in the closest trash can. You looked around to get your bearings and followed the street just like the barista said. The road curved around the stunning architecture. Everything felt different but yet it flowed so easily into the next building. Eventually you entered a more modern section of town. A simple neon sign hung outside reading Aurelac.

Well that was easy. You thought to yourself before approaching the glass doors. The cool air chilled your skin as you entered the gallery. It was bigger than you were expecting, each wall filled with tons of different mediums. Your eye was drawn to the brightly colored oil paintings on the far right wall. Approaching the fall wall, your eyes took in each piece with awe and analyzed each stroke.

While you went in to lean closer to a particularly fascinating painting, when a smooth Southern voice. “Such an alluring abstraction.” You jumped back not hearing him approach despite the hardwood floods

He chuckled. “I apologize. I didn’t mean to frighten such an intriguing patron.”

“No harm done. I just wanted to see what techniques this artist used. Reminds me of Dorthea Tanning’s work.” You said taking in the stranger’s appearance. The man was taller than you expected, and quite well dressed too. It seems he had money from the immaculate three piece dark plum suit he was wearing. Included in his ensemble were a pair of cufflinks with a lavender gem of sorts in a silver clasp.

The strangers’ eyebrows raised in amusement. “Not everyone knows that Surrealist’s name. How might you have come upon such an artist?” He asked curiously.

“Oh I actually minored in art history in college. She was always one of my favorites to talk about.” You answered blushing a bit.

“And she is criminally underrated in the world of the Surrealists.” He agreed standing closer to you to take a look at the piece that sparked such conversation.

“I always love Surrealism. There is something about the way they represented such human ideas was amazing.” You smiled as the passion for art returned to your mind.

“The subconscious aspect was a compelling part of that particular movement.” The man added though now this stranger had drawn his attention to you more than the art.

“I agree. As much as I hate to admit it, if it wasn’t for Freud then we would have this moment.”

“Exactly.” He grinned. “Oh goodness, where are my manners? I have failed to introduce myself to such an intellectual.” He held out his hand to you. “Ezra.”

You held out your hand and introduced yourself by taking his hand in yours. The first thing you noticed about Ezra’s hand was the roughness of them. From his outwardly appearance you were expecting his hands to be soft. The next thing you noticed was the tightness of his grip. It was firm, but didn’t hurt like some other handshakes you’ve received. This man was truly fascinating.

“I believe you aren’t a local around here?” Ezra asked.

You chuckled and shook your head. “No, far from it. I’m actually here on vacation. Well vacation in the loosest sense.”

“Oh and pray tell what does that mean?” He questioned tipping his head to the side.

“Just that I’m an artist, I guess not much nowadays. I haven’t created anything in months, and my agent jokingly told me to go on vacation. So here I am.” You chuckled, it sounding a little sad. You really hadn’t meant to stop creating, but unfortunately that’s how it goes sometimes.

“Well I can tell you that my little corner of paradise has lots to offer, not to mention idyllic scenery for all types.”

“True but I’ve never been one for landscapes,” You admit.

“Considering your admiration for the Surrealists, that doesn’t surprise me.” Ezra smirked, taking in the painting once again.

You hummed in response letting the conversation fall into a comfortable silence. Though Ezra started fidgeting at the need for dialog. And it seemed you were having the same issue because the two of you together said.

“Can I paint you?” “I could be your model!”

Both of you paused for a moment, your mind catching up to what just happened.

“What did you say?” You asked looking back at Ezra.

He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. “Well I said that I am more than willing to stand in for your artwork. With a brain as astute as yours I would be more than honored to be your muse” You weren’t quite sure but there might have been a brush of pink against his cheeks.

You couldn’t help but giggle. You covered your mouth with your hand as your giggle turned into a full on laugh.

Ezra looked at you confused. “I apologize. Did I say something amusing?”

It took you a moment to recover from your laughing fit, but after a few deep breaths you giggled. “Quite the opposite because I asked you if I could paint you.”

He sighed in relief and chuckled along with you. “Then that seemed to settle the matter.’

“That was easier than I was expecting,” You chuckled.

“How about you come over to my abode and I can cook us a wonderful meal to get those endorphins moving,” Ezra suggested.

You quirked your eyebrow up. “That makes it sound like a date, Ezra.”

“See it as a way for me to give back to such an amazing creature.” He smirked and you blushed in return.

“How can I refuse such an offer?” You smiled up at him.

“Perfect I’ll arrange everything and I’ll have my driver pick you up around say 7:30” He states.

You blush again “Oh that’ll be perfect. I’m staying at the nice B&B just down the road.”

“Then that’s where you shall be whisked away from there then.”

You exchanged numbers. You really weren’t sure what you’ve gotten yourself into but you knew something exciting would come out of this.

#secretsprings #mod mouse writing #crow and mouse writings #ezra prospect #ezra prospect x reader #ezra prospect x you #ezra prospect fanfiction #ezra prospect x gn!reader #prospect 2018 #pedro pascal fandom #pedrohub #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal #pedro brainrot #writing challenge #fanfiction

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barananduen · 1 year ago

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Art Advice: Advancing in Art: The 3 Ps

For people who are new to art, new to a different medium, or just need some motivation.

Keeping what I call "The Three Ps" in mind will help you power through and not quit before you've reached your goal.

I - PRACTICE

It sounds cliché, but practicing is necessary; not just for art, but for everything. Much like athletes spend years in the youth levels, learning the skills, before they can become professionals... and then even when they're pros, they go to training every day, to hone their skills. Just like they do, so, too, must an artist practice.

Practice can be anything. It doesn't mean you must shade so many spheres before you can-- no! You can shake it up! You practice and hone your skills with every drawing you make. You can practice drawing your OCs, your pet, your favorite piece of decoration in your house. Practice with something that makes you excited to draw!

Train yourself to draw different things. When you do a new drawing, try different head angles, lighting, perspective. Try landscapes, still lives, different types of animals. It won't come out perfect the first few times, but keep trying. Each different thing you learn will add new skills to your set, and the more of these you collect, the easier it will become to make that drawing just as it is in your head!

Every artist screws up sometimes; even professionals! Do not be discouraged; every mistake takes you one step closer to where you want to be.

Don't worry about making everything perfect. Just draw! Then look at the imperfections and address them, but don't let them hold you back! Here's an article that will help you keep a positive outlook when things don't come out the way you want: [Art Advice: How to Have a Positive Outlook] It also explains a method that you can use to analyze your not-perfect drawings to identify what you need to fix and how (See #2 in that article).

II - PATIENCE

I often see beginner artists feeling upset because they're not getting "good" at art quickly. Art learning is a long-term process; it takes several years for people to get "good" at art. In fact, you never stop learning and changing and improving. The trick is to stick with it and not give up!

"Rome was not built in a day." - proverb; unknown source

Be patient with yourself. Give yourself time. In the meantime, enjoy the ride!

III - PERSEVERANCE

Imagine a miner who's digging for a precious metal, has been digging for years, becomes disappointed, and gives up and closes the mine. But they were two days away from hitting the vein! They just didn't know it and quit before they could reap the results! Don't be the miner who gives up before hitting the vein!

Keep on arting! Keep on practicing! Keep on challenging yourself and keep it fun! You WILL get to where you want to be!

Keep your goal in mind and don't give up before you reach it!

All the best wishes, ~B~

MORE ART ADVICE ARTICLES

You can find the index to all Art Advice Articles [here] including:

How to Deal with Art Block

How to Have a Positive Outlook

How to Develop Your Own Style

etc.

#art advice #art tips #art help #art resources #positivity #artists on tumblr #art tutorial #motivation #how to #art #barananduen

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theunaestheticstudyblr · 2 years ago

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How I limit my productivity and why you probably should too

Yes. I limit my productivity. I monitor my time being spent on being "productive" and doing things that are focused on growth instead of existence. Now I don't mean to say that I just ignore myself and don't try to be a better person. I'm talking in context of stereotypical social media productivity; things like studying for hours, working extra shifts, maximizing time spent on growth podcasts and self help books instead of indulgences like music and fantasy novels. I don't mean analyzing your bad behaviors and working on breaking bad habits. I'm talking more on the lines of marketable growth.

I have noticed a major increase over a couple years in people trying to be as productive as possible. They prioritize productivity and growth (again talking more of the marketable, social media style, not personal) and minimizing time spent living and merely existing. We are sprinting a marathon it seems. And I do not like sprinting. Or even running. It's my most dreaded part of my gym time. I acknowledge that it is necessary, and so is spending time being productive and working on your marketable growth. But it shouldn't be the main part of every day, just like sprinting for 10 minutes on a treadmill shouldn't be the main part of every workout you do.

I love informative podcasts just as much as the next person and TED Daily is a favorite for sure, as well as various fish and nature podcasts are too! But I limit these to my hour+ commute to campus every other day. When I'm walking around, I listen to music or maybe a "brain numbing" podcast (ones that don't make you think and comprehend and analyze things like story ones [magnus archives eg] or paranormal or mythology or crime style podcasts). I listen to pleasure things, not to thinking things. This gives my brain noise that's just noise. It let's my brain slip out of analytical scientist mode for a while and maybe dance while I walk around!

My gym time is scheduled. I spend the scheduled time in the gym and I enjoy it so much! But when it's not gym time, it's not gym time. I do my morning stretches and yoga and I do my hour in the gym every other day. This is time purely for the gym and nothing else. It's a great release but can also become taxing very quickly, so I only think about it when it's time to.

Study time is the same. It's scheduled and I study when it's study time. I don't walk around and look at flashcards anymore. This is not helpful at all and you could easily hurt yourself or others. You won't retain the information really and you're just adding extra stress into your already stressful life.

I have a schedule for my week and I block out my productive times. My gym time. My study time. My intellectual reading time. My information podcasts. All those things. But I schedule them AFTER I have blocked out classes, work, my slow mornings, chores, and pleasure items like a hair mask night or a night out or something. Of course I make time for improving myself and like I said they are also scheduled, but not with more importance than my actual life. And I also make sure that I know to be flexible with myself. Sometimes I have to add in extra study time and reduce time spent elsewhere if I have a test or something. Sometimes I get sick or I lose track of time while playing video games. Sometimes I sit in the bath way longer than I should. And that's ok. Sometimes we need to have the discipline to put pleasure aside EVERY NOW AND THEN and Sometimes we need the grace to put productivity on the back burner EVERY NOW AND THEN.

Don't ignore your responsibilities, but don't ignore your life either. So please, make just as much time for your pleasure as you do for your productivity. They're both important, but don't let school and life weigh you down so much that rain is annoying and angering and that you miss your niece's 3rd birthday. Dance in the rain. Jump in the puddles. Spin and laugh as you get soaked. And eat the easy bake cakes your little cousin bakes. And read your friend's kid a story. And draw little doodles in your notes. And smile. And try to make someone else smile. And drink your too sweet, too hot coffee. And listen to that song that you'd be embarrassed if anyone knew you liked it. Please don't forget to live.

#study blog #student #student life #studyblr #productivity #school #study hard #studying #school advice #university advice #life advice #advice #school tips #school life #productive #being productive

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wispforever · 1 month ago

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naruto 6 and 13 pls!

Hi, cowboy :) thanks for the ask

6. Which ship fans are the most annoying?

I block anyone I find annoying, so the fact that I'm actually able to think of several groups of people kind of blows my mind lol. First would be the fans who take shipping way too seriously. They hate on other people for deviating from their version of canon, start insane discourse, sometimes even harass creators of the show, etc. Idk if I even have to explain why that pisses me off. It's just in really bad taste. Quit bothering people. Fandom is for enjoyment, don't spend your fandom time telling people how much you hate them or why they're wrong. Chill tf out

Then are the fans who don't participate in shipping (this is the okay part) and THEN talk about how stupid shipping is and how inherently annoying it is. People are entitled to their opinions obviously. I understand (especially as an aroace person) how shipping can be reductive and how people get obsessed. But at some point you have to take responsibility for curating your own experience. Don't like shipping? That's great. Block everyone who posts ship and only follow people who don't. Problem solved. Don't whine about how annoying shipping is IN THE SHIPPING TAG. Just fucking braindead, I can't

In the naruto fandom specifically, I think the shipping that pisses me off the most are the above types of bloggers, as well as people who ship things I find personally repulsive. Like *nc*st or p*do shit. Lots of that in the naruto fandom unfortunately.

13. Worst blorboficiation?

The most impossible naruto question challenge LMAO where do I even fucking start. This fandom beats the absolute shit out of good characters at the drop of a hat. Some of it is fine, I get it, I'm guilty of it, but other times it's hugely reductive. If character assassination were a crime punishable by death, I fear we tumblrinas would be having this conversation while we waited in line for the electric chair.

There are lots of characters I see blorbofied beyond recognition: Madara, Hashirama, Kakashi, Gai, Lee, Tsunade, Obito, literally anyone in the Akatsuki- I could go on and on. I think though, the one who sticks out to me is definitely Itachi. I see SOOOO many depictions of wet, crying, pitiful Itachi when he gives absolutely no hint of any of that on screen. Am I saying he doesn't cry? Doesn't feel? Absolutely not. But there's a thousand different ways to make a character emotional. I barely ever see in character portrayals of Itachi, in my opinion, especially when delving into who he is behind closed doors, what he thinks about his clan/upbringing, how he feels about Sasuke and the massacre he committed. I could mop the floor with him he is so sopping wet in all of this fanart. It drives me up the fucking wall. I've written a lot of detailed notes analyzing his character, and I myself appreciate how he was a victim (along with many other things), but most of the time I feel people stop at just the victim part. Idk why they want him to cry so bad. Idk what makes them think HE would think he deserves to grieve or be forgiven. Idk why they oversimplify his motives or make him out like he doesn't understand what he did and why. makes me actually insane. ffs there are beautiful flawed characters here with winding, painful, morally grey journeys. appreciate the nuance jesussss if i see one more big doe-eyed teared up itachi sniveling to kisame i'm going to be on the news

#this is wisp #ask #choose violence ask #cowboygren #naruto

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universecorp · 2 years ago

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Temptation: Chapter 2

Chapter warnings: None

W.C.: 3.8k

Mood Playlist: Temptation

Day 7

The past three days have been the longest of your life. You truly understood why these fairies were given the domain of lust. Not only had you walked in on several more very compromising scenes and positions, but you had been invited to join each one. It was like fucking was their profession, and you knew it wasn’t because Soobin and Yeonjun were doing their jobs right now.

Yeonjun worked as a choreographer for a music label. His schedule was often very open because they only enlisted him for new music releases or award shows, which is why he had so much time on his hands. He had shown you some of the artists he choreographed for, and you were in awe at how amazing his dances were.

Soobin on the other hand worked as an old language interpreter. Fairies much like humans had old and lost civilizations, Soobin’s job was to analyze their old texts and try to decipher them. It was a job he described as challenging, but he enjoyed it. He also got to set his own schedule, which still left him enough time to be with his lovers.

Over the last few days Soobin had been working a bit, so you had been spending time with him in his study, reading and listening to the fairy explain what he was working on. You enjoyed watching him work, and even took a look at some of the languages, which also had a very similar look to some of the old human lost languages.

The younger ones of the group had been traveling back and forth between the domain and the hub for school. You wanted to go with them to see how different fairy college was compared to what you were used to, but unfortunately the school had a strict policy against anyone attending classes that they weren’t enrolled in. It wasn’t too bad though, you had been spending time with the older men, or on your own, exploring the domain and its endless landscape. Lucky for you The fairies had human proofed the domain with different paths to make sure you made it back to the tree no matter what path you took. You were grateful to them for making your stay easy and also for showing you the beauties of their world.

Right now you were laying outside under a large tree by one of the many streams that inhabited the domain. Your eyes were closed as you focused on the sound of the small waterfall nearby. You could hear birds chirping softly as soft rays of sun that slipped through the cracks of the tree's shade warmed your face. You stretched a little, wiggling your toes against the soft blades of grass before turning on your side. You figured a nap couldn’t hurt, especially since you had nothing better to do.

You were beginning to drift off when suddenly a ray of sun was shining into your eyelid. You huffed a little before turning your body, hoping a different angle would help. For a few moments it was serene again… until it wasn’t and another beam of sun was assaulting your eyelids. You turned onto your back and threw your arm over your eyes, hoping to block out the rays, but it was of no use. The sun felt even hotter and brighter, causing you to sit up. You opened your eyes only to see a Hueningkai, who quickly screamed and flew out of sight.

“Get back here!”

You heard giggling coming from above you, not just Hueningkai’s.

“You guys are so in for it!” Standing from the blanket you huffed and began climbing the tree. You were making progress when suddenly the branch under you began growing farther away from the tree causing you to yelp as you wrapped yourself around it. Boisterous laughing could be heard as you struggled to try and get back to the tree. Looking up you huffed when you saw Hueningkai, Beomgyu, and Taehyun all hovering above you. “If this is how you guys seduce people, I can see why no one has bothered to stick around.” Grumbling you inched your way off the tree branch, trying to find a safe place for your foot to land.

“It’s not, we can show you how we do if you’d like though.” Beomgyu replied cheekily, flying to your side, helping you down to the ground safely.

“I’m good.” You deadpanned, dusting off your white skirt, frowning at the dark residue the tree left.

“Oh, poor petal got her skirt dirty,” Taehyun fretted, fluttering down to join you and Beomgyu on the ground, Heuningkai following close behind. “We should go back to the tree, maybe we can convince Soobin and Yeonjun to come to one of the lakes and we can all go swimming?” You perked up at that, you had been wanting to swim in one of the pretty lakes that you had come across. One in particular that caught your attention, it had a large cave that had a waterfall in it. There were also a few rocks that were perfect for sitting on and just watching, all in all it looked just as fun to lounge in as it did to swim.

“Can we go to the one with the cave that has the waterfall in it?” The three fairies nodded, smiling at your enthusiasm.

“I never asked, what do you all major in at university?” You were about three quarters of the way back to the tree. The four of you had been making small talk and giggling over some embarrassing stories that you all decided to share. Even though you had no interest in the fairies romantically or carnally, you still enjoyed their presence and the conversations that you had.

“Music, with a minor in education,” Heuningkai replied.

“Math.” Taehyun answered shortly.

“Same as Hyuka, but I’m minoring in music technology.”

You made a sound of awe, it was interesting how all of the fairies had such different interests and careers, but still had the common ground of their love for one another. Even though it had only been a few days, you gained an understanding of the bond they shared. Sometimes it made you laugh how different they were, but the feeling you got watching them all be so in love with each other was so indescribable. You could only hope one day you would have someone that you felt that way with.

“Hyungs, we’re back!” Hueningkai called out as the three of you entered the tree. You followed the fairies to their shared room where you found the two oldest of the five. Yeonjun has his head in Soobin’s lap, who was playing with his dark locks with one hand as he held his phone in the other.

“Hi, how was school?” Hueningkai flittered over to the taller man, kissing him on his cheek before sitting down next to him.

“It was good, but I got a C on my stats quiz.” Soobin tsked, closing his phone.

“I thought you had Hyunnie help you study. You said you were confident, what happened?” The youngest blushed slightly, while Taehyun smiled coyly looking away from his blonde boyfriend.

“We did… but then we got a little distracted.” You stifled a laugh at the scene before you. They definitely belonged in this domain you thought to yourself.

The second oldest had a slightly unreadable expression on his, but ultimately relinquished, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

“It’s fine,” Soobin huffed, “you just have to try harder next time, and i’ll be sitting in on your next tutoring session, understood?”

“Yes hyung.” The two youngest spoke in tandem.

“Ok now that the boring stuff is over, our little human wanted to visit starlight lake for a swim!” Beomgyu interjected, pushing you forward a bit. You hated to admit it but the way Beomgyu referred to you caused a small pit of warmth in your stomach.

“Is that so?” Yeonjun arose from his position. You nodded in response.

“Can we go please?,” Hueningkai begged, displaying his best pout. “Binnie hyung, you have to show her more of your magic! He can make waves and Hyunie and Yeonjunnie hyung make us big leaves to surf on!” Your eyes enlarged in awe and excitement at the new piece of information.

“Calm down raindrop, we can go, how about we spend the night there? There’s a reason we call it starlight lake, I think we should show Y/N why.” The youngest fluttered his wings in excitement, a large smile on display as his boyfriend spoke.

“Tae baby, why don’t you and Junnie go prepare a picnic for dinner while Gyu, Hyuka and I go get the rest of the supplies.” Both garden fairies nodded before leaving the room together, heading towards the kitchen.

“Is there anything I can help with?”

Soobin made a face as if he was pondering, “You can help us if you like, go get changed and then meet us near the washroom.” You acknowledged him with a small nod and made your way to your room.

You remembered that the fairies had bought you a few bathing suits. All of them were bikinis, but you didn’t have a problem with that, thankfully they also provided you with slips that you could use to cover yourself. Even though no one else was in the domain, it still made you grateful that the fairies were looking out for you.

After browsing through your options you ultimately decided on a blue bikini with a slip covered in small blue and pink fabric flowers. Once you were satisfied with the way you looked, you quickly packed an overnight bag before making your way to the washroom.

“Gyu, do you think you could get the animals to help us carry some of this?” Soobin inquired, handing a large blanket to the orange winged boy.

“Yeah, I'll see if Taehyun can create a wagon that a few of the deers can pull, hold on.” The blonde nodded, before directing his attention to you.

“Y/N, you look so cute! I picked that one out, I knew you would look good in it. Hyung, doesn’t she look good?” Soobin smiled endearingly down at his youngest lover before nodding. You blushed at that, thanking the two for the compliment.

“Good timing, I need you to go help Gyu load some of this stuff.” You hummed before grabbing some pillows that the water fairy pushed towards you.

“Hyuka and I will be right there.” Making a sound of affirmation, you made your way towards the entrance of the tree. Beomgyu seemed successful in getting that cart as well as some deer because he was now attaching some reigns made of what appeared to be some type of tree branch.

The fairy whistled in your direction, taking note of your appearance, causing you to blush again. “Where should I put these?” You asked, clearing your throat.

“In the cart is fine, Junnie and Tae are almost done, so they should be out soon.” You hummed before complying, standing awkwardly as you waited for the other four men to join.

“Wanna pet them?”

“Huh?”

“The deer, do you wanna pet them?” Beomgyu inquired.

“Oh… sure.” You replied, walking over to the orange winged man.

He grabbed your hand gently before lifting it towards the doe’s snout. The doe sniffed cautiously before nuzzling into your hand, causing you to break out into a wide smile. “She likes you, she says she wants you to meet her fawn.”

“Really?”

Beomgyu nodded.

Bending down to the doe’s level you nuzzled into her, a silent way of showing your shared adoration for her. Beomgyu wishes he was the doe that you were staring at right now. You looked at her with so much awe and love, just as you did with most of the animals and other aspects of their home. It made him jealous because you had yet to look at him or any of the others in that way. Despite that , Beomgyu couldn’t help but smile at the interaction. Even though you had only been in the domain for a week, he couldn’t imagine saying goodbye to you and neither could the others. They had a talk yesterday in the quiet of their room, illuminated only by a small orb of light, about where they stood with you and it was safe to say all of them wanted you to stay. They had had other humans stumble into their domain before, but none of them had intrigued them like you had. Your energy and love of all things that their domain had to offer only managed to endear them more with each passing day.

“Ready to leave?” Yeonjun chimed, walking out of the entrance of their large tree with a large picnic basket on hand. You stood from the ground humming a quick

“Uh huh” before grabbing the small overnight bag you had brought out with you. Slinging the small tote over your shoulder you began walking behind Beomgyu and the deers, keeping pace with Taehyun and Yeonjun.

Eventually you all arrived at the lake, you had walked past it at least twice since you arrived, but it never failed to take your breath away. There was a waterfall that flowed beautifully over the cave, and you could tell the inside had a nice secluded pool as well as enough room to sit comfortably on the ledge.

“You three can go swim while we set up camp and dinner, we’ll call you when it’s ready.” Yeonjun said, referring to you as well as Hueningkai and Taehyun. The three of you nodded, dropping your coverups onto the bank. You watched Hueningkai walk into the water with Taehyun close behind, you were hesitant to get in, but after the two looked back at you, you followed suit. The water was surprisingly warmer than you anticipated. You slowly submerged the majority of your body into the lake, sighing softly at how comfortable you felt.

You hadn’t realized you closed your eyes until you heard a very eager “Y/N, watch this!” come from near the waterfall. You opened your eyes, focusing them on Hueningkai who was standing on top of the large cave. Only a moment later Hueningkai was diving from the rock, landing gracefully in the water with a small splash. You saw the way he used his wings to control his speed so that the splash wasn’t as large, but it was still impressive.

Hueningkai soon resurfaced smiling widely at you, it was cute the way he paddled over to you. “Did you see,” he grabbed your hands underwater, “wasn’t I cool?”

“You were.” You affirmed with a shy smile.

The fairy beamed brightly, gripping your left hand a bit tighter so he could guide you deeper into the lake.

“How deep does it go?” you asked.

“Huh, oh the lake? Uhm…about 15 feet, the deepest part is inside the cave.” Hueningkai replied, hand still held tightly in yours.

“You wanna make some rainbows?” He was too precious for his own good, is all you could think as he stated expectantly at you.

“I don’t really think I can make them, since I don't have powers, but I would love to watch you make them!” The boy broke into a small pout.

“You can, though, splash some water in the air.” You were hesitant but the look he gave you managed to melt your heart even more and do as he wished. Breaking your hand away from him you cupped some water underneath the surface before shooting your hands up to create a large splash of droplets in the air. Hueningkai quickly directed sunlight over the droplets creating a beautiful dazzling rainbow over the two of you. You stared up in awe, smiling widely, before splashing more water up into the air.

The two of you continued this, laughing wildly as you made a game out of it by splashing water in different directions at once to see if he could create the colorful refractions in time. The whole time you and Hueningkai were playing you noticed Taehyun observing the two of you from a nearby rock. His wings were glistening in the sun as his damp hair stuck to his forehead. You noticed a small smile playing on his lips as he watched the two of you. You also noticed his naked torso, had he always been that toned? You had seen the fairies shirtless countless times before, but only now we’re you starting to realize how toned they were.

“Tae, come play with us!” The light fairy wore a small pout, much like the one he used to win you over.

“This rock is warm though, the water is too cold for me.” Taehyun replied, stretching out a bit on the large rock. He almost looked like he was glittering, the way the sun hit his skin, the sight made your stomach twist with a weird feeling.

“I’ll beam more light so the lake gets warmer, please? Hueningkai elongated the plea, jutting out his lower lip a bit for more of an effect. Taehyun tried to avoid eye contact with the younger, so as to not be coerced into getting in, but Hueningkai’s charms were just too much for him.

“Fine, but only if you warm up the water.” Hueningkai nodded, wings fluttering quickly causing small ripples to form in the water. You watchmen in awe once again as Hueiningkai made the beams of sun grow brighter, making the air around you grow warmer, but not in a way that was unbearable.

Taehyun slowly entered the water, like a flower opening its petals during the spring. You couldn’t help but be entranced by the way he slowly eased in, face morphed into one of satisfaction. “Is it warm enough?” Taehyun hummed in affirmation, eyes closed as he basked in the warmth of the lake.

“Could you make it like a hot tub, even at night?” You asked, making room for Taehyun to join your semi-circle.

“Unfortunately no, even though moonlight is technically sunlight, since it’s not hot I can’t do much with it and the light I can create isn’t hot either. I can do it during the day with sunlight, but not at night.” You hummed in understanding, treading your hand through the water lightly.

“Food is ready!” You looked over your shoulder at Yeonjun who was standing outside of the cave, waving the three of you over.

“Race ya!” Hueningkai quickly dove under the water to get a head start. You and Taehyun quickly followed, trying to catch up to the younger boy. You of course lost badly since the fairies had their wings to project them farther and faster than your mere arms and legs could. You were breathing heavily by the time you made it into the cave. Taehyun, Beomgyu and Hueningkai were all snickering at your state while Soobin and Yeonjun only tsked at the three.

“Poor petal, you knew that wasn’t a fair race.” Yeonjun said, walking over to give you a hand, helping you out of the water

. “It’s ok, it was fun, you guys are really fast.” All of the fairies giggled at your disheveled state as Yeonjun helped you walk over to the picnic blanket. Soobin placed a towel around your shoulders, causing you to let out a small thank you in response.

You looked at the assortment of sandwiches in front of you, most of them were savory, but you spotted a few sweet ones made with cream and fruit. Beomgyu began pouring tea from a thermos into the small cup in front of you, Taehyun offered you milk and sugar which you graciously took. You blew on your tea before taking a sip, but could feel everyone's eyes boring into you, which was confirmed as you shifted your gaze from the cup to the men around you. “Is something wrong?” All of them shook their heads, but you couldn’t help the skeptical expression that graced your features. You pulled your towel tighter around yourself before reaching forward for one of the sandwiches and taking a small bite. The rest of them followed in what felt like a silent game of simon says. “Why are you guys being weird all of the sudden?”

“We're not!” A chorus of whines broke out making you burst into laughter. You missed the way the fairies' faces softened at the sound of your infectious giggles.

“She’s so cute, I can’t take it.” Soobin whispered, to which the rest hummed. You tried to pretend not to hear the compliment, thankful that the cave was dim enough to hide your blush.

After all of you had eaten and your food settled, the six of you went back out into the lake. True to his word Soobin showed you more of what he could do, and you were thrilled. You never thought you would have a chance to boogie board on a giant leaf, but you were given that chance today. Your loud squeals rivaled Hueningkai’s own as Soobin created a giant wave that soaked both of you. You squealed even louder as Yeonjun used a vine to drag you through the water, giggling almost maniacally as you crashed into his chest. “Oh my god, do that again!” Yeonjun only chuckled before obliging you and dragging you through the water. This time you were halted near the cave, before you could recover you were swept up by a wave which caught you off guard, but made you yell in delight at the rushing feeling.

After a few hours of playing in the water all of you returned to the cave to dry off. Hueningkai started a fire with some wood and heat from the last remaining sunlight of the day which helped your shaking frame. The sun was beginning to set and you now understood why they called it Starlight Lake. The water was glittering even in the darkness of the cave and the small specks of light looked like stars swirling around in a galaxy. “They’re bioluminescent organisms, they’re safe to swim with, but I can tell you’re all watered out today.” Beomgyu explained handing you some tea that Taehyun had just brewed. You nodded, giving him a quick thanks before blowing over the rim and taking a sip.

After finishing your tea the fairies gave you space to change into your pajamas and set up a small area for you near the fire to keep you warm. They had a feeling you wouldn’t be comfortable sleeping next to them, much to their dismay, so they made sure to have an alternative for you. After settling in next to the warm fire you watched as Hueningkai began making small shapes and stars with the light from the fire. It was so calming that you fell asleep only a few moments later.

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Taglist: @ditzydaisyy, @goldenchunkycat

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revenantghost · 1 year ago

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[20 Question Fic Writer Game]

Tagged by @faindri and @pancake-breakfast!

How many works do you have on AO3?

18! Most are poetry collections, so a lot of smaller stories in one anthology.

What is your AO3 word count?

75,144

What fandoms do you write for?

Trigun is my main squeeze atm (and biggest in general, I have four projects for it which is double anything else--and the highest wordcount, too), but I've written for KinnPorsche, Sabikui Bisco, Danny Phantom, Vampire In The Garden, Sasaki to Miyano, Cyberpunk: Edgerunners, Goncharov (yeah... yeah), The Night Beyond the Tricornered Window, Signalis, Omori, Lycoris Recoil, and The Executioner and Her Way of Life

What are your top five fics by kudos?

No idea and I ain't looking! Trad publishing has me extremely scarred from some nasty comparison wars, so I have kudo and view counts blocked on ALL fics, including mine. From my kudos emails, though, Hallowboned has to be my top fic for sure. Last time I was paying attention most of my other fics didn't pass into triple digits by a long shot

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do!!! I adore comments, and I love chatting with folks, it really keeps me motivated and chugging along. I am... very behind on replying to the comments on my last chapter rn because I feel so awful and guilty about having to quit writing

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uh... I don't write a ton of narrative fics, and I do love me some tragic poetry, but I guess the angstiest collection might be my Signalis one, Observable System Transcendence? But my Omori poem and the Trined Soul collection might be contenders, too

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I mean, Trembling Hands is a Trimax fix-it fic, so? Though the Sasaki and Miyano collection, Effortless Dreams, is definitely the most tooth-rotting fluff I've ever slapped onto the page

Do you get hate on fics?

Oh yeah, I've had my poetry called pretentious and also not good enough to be poetry lol. It's been a hot minute since that's happened, people are just jerks sometimes

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I used to! Porn with plot, my beloved. It would be interesting to explore in poetry format, but we'll see if I have the time who wants to commission some poetry porn from me lmao

Do you write crossovers?

Nah, not my cuppa

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yeah, many moons ago

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but that is one of the coolest things fandom does. Loving a thing so much you spend the time to painstakingly transform that art into something you can read and share in another language, bro??? Translators are amazing

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I've worked pretty closely with artists a loooong time ago, but I've only written fics where I'm the sole writer. I have used other writers' ideas and outlines (with their permission, of course), but that's the closest

What's your all-time favourite ship?

I DON'T KNOW?!?! Shipping has never really been my main focus of media typically, but when one digs its teeth into me I go rabid in a completely feral but different way each time.

What's a WIP you'd like to finish but doubt you ever will?

))): All of them

Life feels kinda... really dire atm, it's hard to see ever writing again. However! God I want to finish Hallowboned SO BADLY!!! I have so many chapters written for it that I haven't even posted!!!!! Y'all haven't met Livio yet!!!!!! GAH 3:

What are your writing strengths?

Uh... ??? I'll be real, I've got no idea. I feel like I write so weirdly atm, it's hard for me to analyze in that kinda way

What are your writing weaknesses?

I tend to get really excited/into things and flit around and forget to explain or describe things sometimes. Thank god for having been well-trained to edit my own work. Not that I catch it all, but I try!!!

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think it'd really cool, but I'd need a native speaker on hand to make sure I don't fuck it up in my own fic

First fandom you wrote for?

I think my first piece of written fanwork was a Danny Phantom Quizilla thing lmao, I'm old. I don't remember what it was about, just that it was ANGSTY

Favourite fic you've ever written?

Ah?!?! Honestly, each project is so different and written from such a different place, I've got no idea. I'm proudest of Observable System Transcendence being my longest, most consistent project (outside of my Smaugust collection, which isn't a fan project), Hallowboned being the first thing that really inspired me in ages--and the most indulgent one lol. But each collection and fic and poem comes from such a different place, and it's hard to pull them apart and pick???

Tagging:

Whoever wants to hop in! :3

#Yadda yadda #This was fun to poke my head back into fanfic headspace for a moment #Thank you guys for the tag! <3

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prsk-krow · 2 years ago

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Hi! I love your work. As someone who has various circumstances as well, I love Kanade a lot and. I would like to request a (R) Kanade x Reader to fill my Kanade shaped hole in my feelings and my brain. Thank you!

{Kanade general headcanons!} [R]

.‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿.

)─── ･｡ﾟ*.☽ .* •ﾟ. ───(

Taking care of Kanade. This shouldn't be a surprise, especially if the relationship was planned, which it should be with Kanade. And with taking care of her I mean in more than one way!

Physically! Make sure she gets at least one walk around the block daily, accompanying her and making small talk to distract her from the tired feeling on her legs! Trust me, even this is far better than what she'd do normally...

Mentally! Check up on her every half an hour once she stuffs herself into her room, or simply stay with her inside! Chat with her to ensure that she isn't overworking, or stressing out over anything!

And emotionally! Keep her spirits up by complimenting her work, and ensuring that her will stays strong! This may be easy at first, but it does start to get tough once her father comes into the mix.

You'll accompany her with her visits to her father, and eventually he'll accept you to take care of his kid! After all, he can notice how different Kanade is alongside you, in a good way!

"You know, I was a little scared of introducing you to him, but... I remember now, how kind he always was to me when we were young... He praised me, took care of me, inspired me to be better while he knew that I was leaving him behind on talent..."

Sometimes she'll start to feel bad again, and miss her old life. It's up to you to ensure that these small periods of time don't end with her overworking or refusing to eat as she used to do before she met Nightcord!

Now, dates. Most of the time, you'll spend visiting her in her home, and just relaxing. The shut in likes to analyze music in various shows and movies, so your couch watching sessions will definitely be a unique experience!

She'll teach you all about the specific details of music that most people watching these films don't know about! Not just with music though, sound effects are in her area of expertise too! It's wild to see how much she knows.

However, you also need to take her outside from time to time, and not just on walks! Go buy her a drink, or maybe even eat at a nearby restaurant! Trust me, the experience will 100% inspire her once more. She can draw ideas out of practically anything.

Maybe you can even convince her to go out on a picnic at a nearby field! It may take a bit into the relationship to get to this point, but having her lay on the grass, while you both eat sandwiches is quite the special first time...

"To be completely honest with you, I... I never imagined myself doing this. I used to think that the outdoors life and I were incompatible, but... You've shown me just how nice it can be alongside the right people. That's right, I don't think this experience would've been this special without someone like you next to me. You have no idea how much I appreciate you..."

Outside of dates, you'll also learn to brush and wash her hair! Yeah, she may know how to do it, but it's so much more relaxing for her when you do it instead... It definitely helps a lot with her nerves and stress.

And also you'll be the first person she shows her demos to before showing them to Nightcord! At first you'll just compliment her, but as she teaches you about musical theory, you may even get the chance to make helpful constructive feedback!

She'll also enjoy you bringing extra clothes over to feel what other ways of dressing feel like! She definitely doesn't like fancy stuff, but it's definitely gonna be a massive success when you convince her to buy a hoodie, or a new jacket!

Overall, life with Kanade as your partner is sweet, and overall quite a calm experience. You definitely need to help her out with her own problems, and to take care of her lifestyle, but when she shows such kindness and love in return, it's clear how worth it it is.

#project sekai #project sekai headcanons #project sekai imagines #project sekai x reader #prsk #prsk x reader #pjsk #pjsk x reader #pjsekai #pjsekai x reader #kanade yoisaki #kanade yoisaki x reader #yoisaki kanade #yoisaki kanade x reader #/cawcanons

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mrscorcoran · 1 year ago

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One more secret won't hurt / Bunny x reader

Part 1

--------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 2: Encounter with the weirdos

Sundays are for walking. Just like Saturdays are for reading and Mondays are for crying. It feels natural, meant to be. The college is surrounded by miles of woods, dissected by dozens of trails in every direction. A dream campus for an avid hiker. If I could, I’d spend my every waking hour exploring every trail, every nook and cranny of this beautiful Vermont wilderness. But trying to be a semi-functional adult that passes all her classes, I decided I’d dedicate only my Sundays to this hobby. Being responsible sucks ass.

But I am nothing in my soul if not responsible. So, on Saturdays, I made my way down to the little library to work on the week’s assignments and papers. Being a literature major means most of my day is spent reading and writing. I enjoy the reading part, but writing can be such a pain in the ass, having to find exactly the right word to describe something, having to come up with a combination of words in an order that’s never been done before or it’s plagiarism, and don’t get me started on writer’s block. Knowing I get to explore a new path the next day is what gets me through these harrowing Saturdays.

So, I make my way to the library, my bag hanging off my shoulder, full of assignments due way too soon, screaming in agony to be completed. It’s 8 a.m. Too early for there to be too many people in the library on a Saturday. It buys me a few hours of reading with no distractions. It’s not like I have issues staying focused, like ADHD or something, I’m just extremely nosey. At least that’s what I tell myself to avoid taking meds.

I find an empty table near a window and sit down. I put on my noise cancelling headphones just in case, pull my copy of Frankenstein out of my bag, and start reading. Of course, I’ve read it a hundred times before, but now that I gotta analyze it for an essay, I find my brain completely blank. What original thought could I possibly have about a 200-year-old book that hasn’t been said before? What could I analyze that hasn’t been analyzed from a hundred different perspectives already? Maybe re-reading it will jiggle a decent idea out of my fried-out brain.

After a few dozen pages and exactly zero ideas, I put the book down and remove my headphones to take a small break. I release a heavy, exhausted sigh and rub my eyes. With my ears free of the headphones, I notice the library is not so quiet anymore. I look up and immediately spot the source of the noise. A few tables away I see a small group of people dressed oddly formal, discussing something in a strange language. Latin, maybe? Greek? Specifically, one of the boys is the source of the commotion. He’s not screaming; in fact, he’s using a regular speaking tone, but in a library that’s pretty much the same thing. The others reply to his arguments in whispers, but this does not make the blond guy speak any lower.

I have seen this group around campus, talking amongst themselves and disappearing into the vine covered building, but I’ve never seen any of them in any of my classes. I haven’t paid too much attention to them, but it’s not hard to notice they are a bit odd.

The redhead seems annoyed, his head buried in a notebook while he aggressively scribbles something down, not paying any attention to the loud discussion happening around him. The only girl sitting with them is very pretty. She’s listening carefully and offering a few words here and there. The guy sitting next to her looks exactly like her but with shorter hair. I assume they’re either twins or it’s a very freaky coincidence. He also seems a bit disinterested in the outcome of the discourse, rolling his eyes a few times at the other boys. The two other dark-haired guys are the most involved, pointing at something in one of the books, and then at some scribbles in a notebook.

But the loud one, the blond guy with the glasses, is the one that caught my eye. I’d say that’s easy to do when you’re being this loud in a quiet place, but it’s not the loudness. He looks so excited, speaking in that gibberish sounding language, his hands moving around wildly, as if he’s trying to prove the most important point ever. He has my full attention. I stare at his lips, trying to make sense of any of the sounds, when I finally catch a few English words.

- “But that would make no sense though! Why would they be sailing to Carthage to attack?” then a few more words in the strange language. “See? It’s the aorist!”

- “Why are you so stubborn? We can just use the locative case, you can remove the epi if you don’t think they’re going to attack, and those who think they will just keep the epi. Problem solved,” said one of the dark-haired boys.

Holy shit. Even in English I have no idea what they’re talking about. Sounds like they’re trying to translate a very complicated text.

I keep staring at them, occasionally glancing down at my book to be less obvious. His energy is so contagious, how are the rest of them not scream-speaking like him? I have no clue what they’re even disagreeing on, but I’m on his side. He almost looks out of place here, like he should be on a pirate ship somewhere, yelling out orders, or maybe on a T.V. ad, trying to sell something outrageous with a surprising success rate, not here in a quiet library, talking about whatever ‘Carthage’ is.

My book is forgotten on the table after a while. It’s not shaping up to be a very productive Saturday after all. When I look down at my watch, I realize it’s almost noon. I see the group packing up their stuff and making their way out of the library, probably to grab some lunch. I should do the same, so I pack my half-read book and my blank notebook into my bag and start resignedly walking to my dorm to get food. I don’t think this Frankenstein paper is going to get written soon. My mind is still on the mysterious group, and the loud guy that seemingly stole more than just a bit of my attention.

#the secret history #bunny corcoran #bunny x reader #ive been obsessed with this book for like 2 months #wrote this over the last couple days to cope #ooc bunny #so hes not a bigoted ass #just slightly annoying #henry winter #richard papen #camilla macaulay #charles macaulay #francis abernathy

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ryuichirou · 1 year ago

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Hey there, Ryuichi! 👋🏻

i hope you do not mind asking me this, but you're one of my favourite Artists 💕 and i noticed how frequently you post your art and it makes me wonder how much your drawing in your free time...?

I used to be an artist myself just like you, but unfortunately, i lost my passion for it specifically because of lack of time to do so, and i lost motivation 💔 (another reason might also be that i tend to compare my art to other talented artist which makes me insecure) i haven't drawn in years. I want to get back to it! but i just can't find the motivation like i mentioned earlier, which is why i wanted to ask you: How do you find the Time/Motivation to draw? and if you have any tips?

I'm also staying anonymous cuz I'm shy 👉🏻👈🏻

Hi Anon!

Thank you for such a sweet ask, I am very happy and honoured to hear that I’m one of your favourite artists.

To answer your question, I spend pretty much every free moment drawing, but that’s just because I am so used to drawing all the time. This has been my main activity for almost my entire life lol so I don’t really get art blocks or dips in motivation. But I still understand what you’re talking about.

To be honest, despite drawing pretty much all day, these days I have ~3 hours of free time drawing for myself (except weekends), because I spend the rest of the time working, which is also drawing… Although ~3 hours probably doesn’t sound like “having no time to draw”, it’s usually not enough for me, I guess? So I have to prioritize certain ideas and simplify sketches sometimes, with the idea that I’ll get back to them and fix/add to them later. So if you can get an hour or even 30 minutes of free time to just sit down and draw just a little bit, even if it’s just doodling some ideas for the future (remember that you can always come back to them later) or studies, it would be great, because it’ll get your brain working in that direction again. Don’t stress it too much; once again, even if it’s just a little sketch of a flying head, it’s something. Which means it’s good! Some days you’ll have more time and energy and you’ll draw more. Some days you’ll barely draw anything, but this repetition is still very important. I guess the first tip I’m trying to give you is that it’s important to have discipline and create a timeslot for your drawing, preferably every day or every other day. Just to kick things off.

When it comes to comparing yourself to others, yeah it can be a serious issue that kills your motivation. And it’s easy to say “just don’t do that”, but I’ll still say it in a bit of a different way: try to keep in mind that if this artist was able to do that, it’s not unachievable for you. I usually try to either get inspired by other artists or to analyze them, trying to look for what exactly there is that I love about their art and would like to do myself. But also, you don’t have to draw like them. It’s cheesy, but no one can do what you do other than you.

When it comes to the likes, because it can be upsetting sometimes when you look at the numbers that other people make despite you having similar content, try to either ignore it altogether (another “easy to say” advice, I know) or keep in mind that there are other reasons behind the number of likes and not just the art itself.

We usually look at the artists whose skill is so stupidly high that it doesn’t feel like a competition anymore lol So we can only look at them in awe…and think about how to recreate some of the effects from their work.

Another very important thing that I love to talk about is that you should remember how fun it feels to draw. Try to think what made you fall in love with drawing and what your favourite thing to draw was. Indulge in it, draw it as many times as you want. Draw any idea you have an inkling for, even if it feels weird or stupid; I genuinely think that it makes the creative part of your brain work better and makes you enjoy the process of drawing more. Art is hard, it requires discipline, but it shouldn’t feel as a chore.

Overall, I hope you’ll find both time and motivation to draw and to have fun with it. Good luck and thank you again!

Have a great day.

#replies #about drawing

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serialreporter · 2 years ago

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apparently i never talked about survivor ! danny on here. so here's a little bit of info on that:

i think the funniest idea to go with on this is literally nothing changes - character wise for him. he's still a narcissistic serial killer back home, he's just a survivor in the realms instead. probably wouldn't of gotten taken by the fog right after roseville though. i'd say a few months before he came to florida.

definitely not the most altruistic. he'll prioritize his own well-being above all else. HOWEVER, he understands that in order to increase the chances of getting out alive, they need to work together. which is... easier said than done. his entire life, danny has pretty much worked alone.

so what that means is this. he will pay close attention to who he gets put into a trial with. he will analyze how they perform in these situations and deduct who the weakest links are. he's more likely to throw those people under the bus especially if they're not contributing anything to getting out and spend the entire time hiding and running away. but also,, it's the sadistic, horror loving part of his brain too who can't pass up the chance to witness terrified people being hunted down and killed. he justifies it by saying they weren't being any help, but he's also just 👀

he's a stealthy bitch. LITERALLY a bitch to find if you're the killer, because he's just that good at hiding and sneaking away. and he's smart, too. he's very good at predicting where the killer is gonna go or do, and similarly with survivors. seems to always be at the right place at the right time, because of it. he's notable for pallet stun or flashlight saves bc of it.

he kinda. has a masochistic mentality regarding it. because the fucked up horor loving gremlin in his brain is pretty hype about being in the trials, even if it's utter hell. he over all just seems wayyy too comfortable with the way things are, and honestly it wouldn't be shocking if other survivors were like 'dude wtf' @ him.

OH YEAH, and his perks! which are basically just a reverse of the ghostface perks.

takes one to know one

you're intimately familiar with the ins and outs of what it takes to be a real killer. because of this, you have a special bit of insight when it comes to predicting where and how the killer will strike next. every time the killer goes into it's special power, their aura becomes highlighted to you for 8 seconds.

"This isn't my first rodeo, it's not even my tenth." — Danny Johnson.

hop skip town

the years you spent on the move and covering your tracks has taught you a thing or two about making a grand escape from the scene at large. when injured, press the action button to activate this perk, hiding your scratch marks and pools of blood for 15 seconds.

"It's almost as funny as watching the cops scramble to find me." — Danny Johnson.

teacher's pet

the entity is entertained by your antics and the stakes your presence brings to the trial. if a survivor is picked up while you are within 8 meters of the killer, you are granted the ability to call upon the entity to block the nearest hook for 25 seconds.

"I think she's a fan." — Danny Johnson.

#🔪 ( headcanons. )#🔪 ( survivor au. )#shout out to oreo for giving me the idea on this #his perks are basically just reversal versions of gf's perks except for hop skip town #because. listen i never use furtive chase. and i don't think i ever encounter killers who do djfkdsfs

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raspberryfem · 2 months ago

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hmmmmmm ok so

i was probably like 11 or 12? but i was already engaging in fandom-style behavior on my own as a child, eg, making fan playlists, spending excessive time thinking & daydreaming about media, etc

i am still pretty heavily engaged in fandom tbh (on a very different blog lol), but now that i'm an adult woman (and a medicated, more mentally healthy person) i am capable of engaging in healthier ways. i have more friends (and more work) that keeps me busier, so i don't read fanfiction as much as i used to. i think, in terms of 'disengaging,' it's more that i disengaged from specific communities and their terminally-online fan wars (think pro vs anti shipper) than from fandom as a concept, if that makes sense? like, i'm always going to be invested in stories in this way, but now i'm capable of making more educated, healthy decisions about who i associate with. the block button is a great friend to me, and if i don't feel the fan community for a certain thing is a constructive force in my life, i'm comfortable being a fan on my own.

huuuuuuge question here lol. i think the issue is again that women in fandom culture aren't a monolith, so there are a lot of different reasons people might be into m/m content. for me, i've posted some on my blog about how male slash content was a coping mechanism that allowed me to read romance without a) being grossed out by f/m content and b) becoming too overwhelmed by the loneliness and depression of being a lesbian teenager, or to be more specific, it was romance that didn't make me feel like i was missing out, because i didn't want a gay male relationship. for other girls/women who are attracted to men, it's often a combination of fetishizing gay males while engaging with romance content that doesn't have to tackle the issue of patriarchy and sexism. i could say a lot more on this topic, but i have to get back to my homework, so maybe later.

somewhat? i feel like it's kind of a given, especially if you're a child/teenager in fandom, bc it's usually the impetus for leaning so heavily into fandom in my experience. i think it's more often joked about than deeply analyzed, and that's because usually people enter fandom spaces for a reprieve from their troubles. nobody wants to discuss their mental health issues in detail, they want to read things that make them happy. but i don't think it would be fair to say it's never talked about or that no one in fandom is mentally healthy, again i think it just varies a ton depending on what fandoms you're in/what social media you use/what fandom events you go to in person & such

overall, i think that most people in fandom got into it because, at some point in their life, media of some kind was the main thing that made them happy. for many people that's still true, and for many people, they are healthier but still enjoy fandom bc it is a fun, familiar, and comforting thing to do. it has plenty of issues, especially in terms of misogyny, homophobia, and mental health issues, but i definitely think there are plenty of healthy ways to enjoy fan communities. i would say that the main issue is that many people who enter fandom are very young & often mentally ill, and so they have not yet learned how to engage in a safe and healthy manner. as a result, it's often a trial by fire that certainly could exasperate mental health conditions, but fanfiction/fandom doesn't inherently do so.

I don't hate fan fiction because it's not original material or whatever. I hate fan fiction because it seems like everyone who is into it has serious mental health issues.

And I realize that it's a chicken/egg situation so there's no way to tell if being immersed in it tanks your wellbeing or if you get into it at your lowest point. What I do see is that it doesn't make you any better and definitely makes things way worse.

#berry talks #fandom #fandom critical

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liyazaki · 3 years ago

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Kinn carries himself with the relaxed ease of an heir born to inherit a throne, and the singular, brutal focus required to keep it. The first time we see him, he casually shoots a man point-blank without a sideways glance (literally)- not out of necessity, but as an almost-aside power play.

Time & time again, we've watched him seamlessly transition from compassionate and thoughtful to icy calculation in the blink of an eye. He lives life on a razor’s edge and makes it all look easy…effortless, even.

These qualities alone would make for a fascinating character, but the pièce de résistance: the more time we spend with Kinn, the more his complexity grows.

The glowing, beaming Kinn in the forest scenes of episode six was so far removed from the man we had seen so far, he could almost pass for another person entirely. It would require an enormous amount of mental and emotional effort for most people to slip in and out of starkly-different personas like they’re a second skin, but Kinn does it on the regular.

Note: there are plenty of brilliant meta posts out there analyzing the decisions Kinn makes, the way he leads, etc., so I won’t be delving into that here. When I’m trying to understand why a character acts the way they do or anticipate what they might do next, I always go back to back to the beginning- both in the literal sense (their past), but also to the fundamental building blocks of who they are. I won’t be going into any theories here, either (Jesus, Mor; WTF are you even writing, then?).

My goal here is to establish a baseline of what makes Kinn, Kinn, because everything else- his choices, his mistakes, his strengths and weaknesses- all flow from it. I'm also fascinated by why Porsche appeals to Kinn in this fundamental, elemental sort of way, which ties back big-time to that character baseline.

You are waiting inside your father’s shadow. -Wale Ayinla, Portrait of a Boy with Grief

Always deferential to his father, Kinn takes his duty as the obedient heir apparent very seriously. This undoubtedly comes just as much from the drive to fulfill his obligations to his family- and keep them safe by extension- as it does from a baser, fundamental need for love and approval. In Kinn’s world, both are irrevocably tied up in the harsh realities of being a part of Bangkok’s strongest mafia family.

All three Theerapanyakul brothers were born into a bloody, no-win game. There is no opt-out option, no alternative to this life they're in. There is no room for flawed, human sons with needs and desires and concerns and hurts- well, not the heir, anyway. Work-life separation can’t exist here, and forget any expectation of autonomy: in this world, choosing any other kind of life is tantamount to betrayal.

In almost every conversation Kinn and Korn have, the focus remains the same: the family- the mafia family- always comes first. When conversations take the rare turn toward the personal, Korn always redirects the focus back to the business, painting a picture of a father-son relationship based not on unconditional love and acceptance, but on performance, strategy and success.

Caring equals vulnerability. Never show either. -Malorie Blackman, Knife Edge

Constantly playing chess both literally and figuratively, Korn is such an intelligent strategist, I’m sure he’s only too aware of the softer, sensitive Kinn underneath the persona- a fact that he’ll undoubtedly use to his advantage at some point. Korn knows how his son ticks, and I can see him trying to use that knowledge to keep Kinn exactly where he wants him: firmly under his thumb.

Case in point: Korn pressing a finger into the metaphorical wound in reminding Kinn of how things turned out the last time he fell in love.

Like the saying goes, “when someone shows you who they are, believe them.” No scene gives us as much insight into Korn than the conversation he and Kinn have at the dining room table.

Kinn is so fresh out of the hospital that he’s still hooked up to a machine monitoring his vitals. Korn briefly acknowledges his injuries before getting to the task at hand: giving Kinn a history lesson in how his love for Kinn’s mother distracted him from his goals, and by inference, from what’s really important.

She wants you to be a god. -Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles

At the end of his speech, Korn hands Kinn a piece of an apple, telling him to come back to his family- that they’re waiting for him. Kinn hesitates before casting his gaze downwards, then taking and eating the apple with silent resignation.

There are so many symbolic interpretations here, but the heart of it is that this is far from a sentimental, fatherly request: Korn is asking Kinn to rise above the “distractions” he couldn’t, above the joys essential to the human experience.

To elevate himself beyond common humanity and essentially 'become a god' (meant in the literal sense in the quote's source material, but too good of a quote not to use here). Be everything his brothers could not, or would not. Take on the mantle. Earn the love.

Kinn is motivated by familial duty beyond his father, too. Tankhun's kidnapping likely created little ripples of trauma in the family that went well beyond him- and there’s no way it was dealt with in a healthy way- or more likely, dealt with or acknowledged at all.

At some point, Kinn- the middle child- stepped up and took on the burden of leadership that was meant for Tankhun. While we don't have the full story yet (if we ever will), he probably did it with zero complaints. The only moment when we get a hint at how much the his role weighs on him- and the fairness of him having to bear it- is in his (micro) confession in the woods with Porsche.

Left to his own devices in the shadow of Korn's expectations, Kinn would never able to fully step into whoever he could be (or may have been)- all in this insidiously-intelligent way that masquerades as freedom. The epitome of the gilded cage. Is it any wonder Korn seems to consider love & human connection the ultimate threat?

You wanted to be in love again. To feel that feeling where a man you hardly know gazes into your eyes & seems to be the only human being who ever understood the real you. -Nancy Horan, Loving Frank Kiss me & you’ll see how important I am. -Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals

Before Porsche enters the picture, Kinn is getting by on whatever scraps of pseudo-affection he can get (read: booty calls kept at a careful emotional distance) while pouring himself into his responsibilities to escape the pain of the past. In public, he's all princely grace, ease and power personified. In private, he's hurting but he's an island, and it shows.

From an outside perspective, Porsche is the polar opposite of Kinn and the life he leads. When Kinn looks at Porsche, though? Like a mirror*, I think he sees the truest version of himself reflected back: bright, filled with joy and laughter and life. The man he would've liked to have been always, not just in small moments hidden away from judgmental eyes, and a life that doesn’t allow for anything less than absolute strength and perfection.

*I've mentioned many times how Porsche is like mirror in that he reflects back whatever he's given (or not given). I think the analogy applies to Kinn's experience beautifully, just in a completely different way.

The first time we see Kinn smile- and I mean, really smile- was with Porsche on the dance floor. He felt comfortable enough in Porsche’s presence to drop the facade and allow himself to get carried away in pure, simple joy. When Kinn leaned in to kiss Porsche on the dock, he moved toward him like he was a magnet- a flower stretching toward the sun. And who wouldn't after meeting someone who personified everything you wanted to be while simultaneously being so incredibly easy to love?

It is perhaps when our lives are at their most problematic that we are likely to be most receptive to beautiful things. -Alain de Botton

Despite every logical reason why he shouldn’t have gotten involved with Porsche, of all people- who drove him borderline insane in the beginning, to boot- shadows can only resist the sunlight for so long, or all the life and new possibilities its warmth brings with it.

I think this is the unique appeal of Porsche to Kinn: when he sees Porsche smile that megawatt grin or throw his head back with full-body, unrestrained laughter, he doesn’t just see the best parts of himself. A hope for more- for just one more taste of this delicious, new sort of life- starts to grow there, too.

I see you, beneath the surface. I see your untamable wild. I see you… You are seen. You are seen. You are seen. And my god- you are beautiful. -Jeanette LeBlanc

We all crave the feeling of being truly seen, romantically or otherwise- to have someone intrinsically know us, who easily sees through our all niceties and public-facing facades to the soul underneath. Porsche does this for Kinn just by virtue of being himself. And for a man who’s had to be everything but himself his whole life? That’s everything.

In a world where dropping your guard could mean death, just being in Porsche’s presence must feel a little like freedom to Kinn. Porsche is likely one of the realest, most straightforward people Kinn’s ever encountered: he can’t be bought, he doesn’t need or want anything from Kinn, and he’s violently (affectionate) himself at all times. That kind of unapologetic authenticity would be pretty attractive to most of us, let alone to a man with a past and upbringing like Kinn’s.

The Kinn we meet in episode 1 seemed to be carrying the world on his shoulders- like he's already lived several lives, all of them filled with constant danger and betrayal. Porsche having a tattoo of the symbolic representation of resurrection- of life after death- couldn’t illustrate just how much he means to Kinn more beautifully.

When we hold each other in the darkness, it doesn't make the darkness go away. The bad things are still out there. The nightmares still walking. When we hold each other we feel not safe, but better… For just a moment or two, the darkness doesn't seem so bad. -Neil Gaiman

Kinn in love is practically lit from within, radiating childlike joy. The more Kinn and Porsche find meaning and connection with each other, the more we see the truest, most fundamental version of Kinn emerge- and it’s a beautiful thing.

There’s nothing performative in the least between them; no metric of perfection Kinn needs to meet first to earn and keep Porsche’s affection. The tender, kind, softer side of Kinn isn’t just seen by Porsche, but celebrated.

There's some sad poetry here, too- in Kinn experiencing carefree happiness like this possibly for the first time (or for the first time in a long time), if only his world were different.

While the grim realities of Kinn’s world probably never completely disappear when he’s with Porsche, his love makes the darkness more bearable- worth the struggle, even. The world lifts off his shoulders for a minute, and for the first time in probably a good long while, he’s Kinn- just Kinn.

I know you’ll speak no truth at this time. I’m to be guided solely by your silence, your eyes & the inaudible appeals of your heart. -Suman Pokhrel

Kinn has been brutally betrayed in the past: his struggle (Porsche’s, too) will be in letting himself go and allowing himself to trust. That sounds pedestrian enough- who doesn’t struggle in some way or another in letting other people in?- but this is going to require a monumental amount of vulnerability for a man in Kinn’s position.

It’s the equivalent of a lion going against his every instinct to willingly expose his throat, only to then show you exactly where to make the killing cut. He’s had a lifetime’s worth of lessons taught to him by his father, his environment and his own lived experience, all working against this fragile, beautiful new connection he’s found.

With everything Kinn stands to lose- and the losses and heartbreak he’s survived to get here- the fact that he can love and hope at all is a testament to his incredible inner strength.

It also makes his every surrender to Porsche’s love- big and small- that much more meaningful.

(I'm sure I could've wrapped this up more poignantly somehow, but I'm 8+ cumulative hours in at this point & now the flu** is trying to kill me, so. hope you got something out what feels like a giant nothing burger to me at this point 🙃)

**edit: that flu? she was COVID. I feel like one of those fan fic writers that apologizes in the notes for being late on posting the chapter because they gave birth or something, except I, uh- finished this while hacking up a lung? ignore me; I have a fever)

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #kinnporsche meta #kinn theerapanyakul #kinnporsche edit #& now i collapse 👋#mile phakphum #apo nattawin #tonanons #userspicy #userjap #usernuria #uservik #userjaehwany #tosnimeat #kinnporschesource #thai bl #bl drama #kinnporsche*

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twinkleimagines · 3 years ago

Text

frenemies

summary: You catch feelings for your nemesis Rafe Cameron and notice his change of how he started interacting with you, so you begin and hoping he feels the same, so you decide to take the risk to confront him and see what his true intentions are.

5.5k words

LONG!

Part two, part 3 , part four (final)

Warning: Language, smut, physical and verbal fighting.

Rafe Cameron.

The most loved and also the most hated Kook in the OBX.

You and your pogue friends despised this guy, or at least you were suppose to.

But for some reason, between all the bickering you two had done over the summer, you've managed to fall for him.

I know- what the fuck.

It blew your mind too. He was never nice. Always making fun of the Pogues, practically humiliating you all every chance he got. You guys were nothing but broke thieves who took whatever you wanted no matter who it hurt. You guys were scum, the dirt on the bottom of his shoe, a bunch of nobody's that will never make it anywhere in life.

Which is obviously not true, but to Rafe - that's what you ‘dirty Pogues’ were.

You didn’t care for the name calling though. You honestly could say the same thing about the Kooks. They cheat their way into life, never have to work for anything , always have mommy and daddy's money to get them through any obstacle. But you knew not all Kooks were like that. Take your best friend Kiara for example. She's a 'kook' by the book, but by the streets she’s a Full Pogue at heart.

but for some reason though, Rafe would spend most his time trying to find a way to harass the shit out of you specifically. He could have a million Pogues around him yet he always found his way through the crowd to have some conversation with you even if it was to drag your name through the mud.

You first realized the feelings you had for Rafe when you began craving his presence.

It was the annual bonfire that you and your friends had went to , a place where all teens and young adults mixed from all clicks. Tourists, Pogues, and even Kooks. Everyone was there.

You stood next to the fire with JJ and Pope, two of your closest friends as the night grew louder, more people filling in. You watched the crowds as the piled up on the sand, but your eyes roamed for Rafe himself. You were almost mad at yourself for actively searching for him. And it wasn’t even like you were looking for him so you could avoid him, but searching so you could see him and hopefully grab his attention.

You continuously questioned yourself as to Why you were looking for this jerk off to begin with. All he was going to do was put you down and try to humiliate you in front of all of your friends.

But for some reason, when your eyes landed on that tall brown headed boy, his hair for once not greased back, a wide grin on his face as he wore a black t-shirt and a red cup in his hand- your heart fluttered. You began to grin slightly, seeing him in the distance.

Despite how much of an ass hole he was, Rafe was unbelievably hot. He was toned, Tall, jaw line so sharp it could probably cut you and you could get lost in those blue eyes of his. It excited you so much when he would give you attention. Even the negative attention. At this point you just enjoyed looking at him and hearing your name flow out of his mouth.

"earth to Y/n" JJ spoke out stepping out in front of you blocking your view to Rafe, and ultimately bringing you out of your trance.

“huh” you responded dumbfounded .

“Pope thinks I’m stupid for eating food with mold on it” JJ said throwing his hands up, you grin as you watched the blonde boy try to seriously defend his theory. Pope’s eyes widened throwing his hands up as well, looking towards you for agreement.

“It’s a Fungi bro! nothing good comes from Eating mold!” Pope argued back. JJ shook his head, disagreeing with Pope’s statement .

“dude, mold is good for you ok it’s just a natural organism “ He stated, dropping his hands down to his sides.

“You’re fucking nasty” You laughed out before pushing onto JJ’s shoulder. You hadn’t realized it yet, but your laugh caught a certain boy’s attention. the moment Rafe heard that familiar tune, his head turned to your direction, his eyes focused on you as you threw your head back with laughter.

“Well well well if it isn’t Ms. Sarah Cameron “ JJ spoke as he walked up towards one of your best friend, John B, and Rafe’s younger sister, Sarah. They both looked in your direction taking a few steps away from each other as if it wasn’t obvious that they were talking.

You didn’t hate Sarah per-say, but one time she did make out with your ex boyfriend while at a party. She claimed he told her he was single and she was just looking for a good night but Sarah was known for always wanting attention so you were doubtful on the fact that she was ‘unaware’ that he was your boyfriend.

You were the only one who knew John B’s crush on Sarah. He had started working for her father after his father went missing, and you were the only one who had caught on to his different approach when Sarah was ever mentioned, or how his cheeks would go slightly red when she would walk by. You didn’t blame him, the Cameron siblings were fucking hot.

“Hi JJ’ Sarah said with a grin. You stood to the side of Pope, looking around for Kiara, only to find her sat with a group of more Pogues talking their heads off.

JJ began trying to include Sarah into his previous ‘mold is good for you’ argument while your focus drifted off, your eyes roaming the crowd once again.

You managed to look back over to where you had first saw Rafe standing, only this time he was no where to be found.

“sarah baby c’mon” you heard someone say. You looked over, Your eyes widening to see Rafe and Topper standing in front of you next to Sarah. You knew this wasn’t a group that needed to be mixed, but seeing Rafe excited you. Your eyes landed on his, your heart beginning to flutter. You hated the fact that you two were enemies. It sucked looking at someone the way you did, knowing they were only looking back at you with hatred and pure disgust. At least you thought.

“Oh c’mon Topper can’t the girl just have a little fun?” JJ laughed out, his alcohol clearly running through his veins.

“You Pogues don’t know the meaning of fun JJ” Topper laughed out. You rolled your eyes shaking your head.

“Go the fuck on Topper “ you spat out, your eyes lifting some towards Rafe before going back to Topper. You could feel yourself kicking up a sweat, maybe from the alcohol , or maybe from the fact that Rafe’s eyes were already on yours when you looked at him. He even had a smirk plastered on his face, probably from the fact he gets off on the fighting.

“Oooohhh someone’s ballsy tonight huh?” Topper laughed bringing the attention to you.

“No im just sick and tired of you stuck up kooks always trying to ruin a good time” You scoffed out, crossing your arms over chest.

“Y/n you wouldn’t know the meaning of a good time if it slapped you in the face alright?” Rafe said. He furrowed his brows together when he realized a smirk rising on your face once you looked over at him. He didn’t know what to think considering the other times you were giving him an ‘ eat shit ‘ look, but this time it was almost as if you were happy he was commenting towards you.

“Oh right, having random hook ups and snorting a line of coke every night is a good time huh Rafe?” You scoffed out sarcastly. “ yeah I think I’ll pass” You said with a roll of your eyes.

“ Listen JJ you and your little bitch need to just go back to the cut where you came from-“ you glanced at Rafe, only to see him looking at Topper with anger as if he was upset at him for calling you that , but before you could further analyze his expression, JJ pushed against Topper’s chest, slinging Topper backwards.

“you watch your mouth” JJ spat out pointing his finger towards Topper’s face. John B quickly stepped in , pulling JJ back away from Topper who was now laughing like an idiot, excited for the action that he thought was about to happen.

“Yeah go ahead Johnny boy go ahead and play dad “ Topper spat out as John B continued practically dragging JJ away from the group. “just don’t go abandoning him like your dad did ” He yelled out. Your mouth flew open in shock, seeing John B stop in his tracks but before he could even respond, your hand slapped straight across Topper’s cheek, causing his head to bounce side ways.

“go suck on your moms tits some more you fucking prick” You scowled before turning on your heals, following your friends. You didn’t even bother to stick around for anymore commentary, your only goal at this point was getting your friends the hell away from here before all hell broke loose.

“never fails man” you heard JJ screamed out in anger as you made it to the parking lot all while Pope continued trying to hush them as they stood next to the twinkie.

“JJ chill!” Pope yelled out as he tried pushing JJ into the Volkswagen but to no avail.

“no man they always get to do and say whatever the hell they want and never get any repercussions for it !” he exclaimed.

He wasn’t wrong, they really did. And if the Pogues fought back they were deemed bad and out of control. You sighed heavily as you watched JJ try to calm himself down, only to realize you had left your phone on the Log you were originally sitting at by the fire.

“Fuck I’ll be right back” You stated, only for your arm to get grabbed by John B.

“No don’t go back there” He instructed but you shook your head.

“I’ll be fine I just left my phone. “ You exclaimed before making your way back down towards the crowd of people.

“Xcuse’ me “ you mumbled as you brushed past people, making your way to the fire.

“Y/n what happened?” Kiara asked popping up from the side, placing her hand on your shoulder.

“I’ll explain later , meet you at the twinkie ok? go calm JJ down” You responded, pointing behind you with your thumb towards the van. She rolled her eyes, realizing it was a fight that had happened before turning around, making her way to your friends.

“Just can’t stay away can you?” You heard from behind you. You turn around to see none other than Rafe himself standing proudly. You rolled your eyes before turning back around, walking towards the fire once again. Despite you usually being excited to see him, tonight really put things into perspective for you.

You really were just a ‘dirty pogue’ to these guys, nothing more. There was no point to continue entertaining the thought of anything ever happening between the two of you. You were enemies, and that was all you’d ever be.

“I just came to get something Rafe go away” You huffed out.

“Oh you mean this?” He yelled out , making you stop in your track. You turned around to see Rafe holding your phone up, a wide grin plastered across his face.

“Give me that” you demanded, reaching your hand out, but Rafe pulled back, pulling it out of your reach.

“Rafe!” You yelled out with anger. “Give me my fucking phone dude” You spat out , reaching out again.

“Well what’s in it for me?” he asked , that smirk still obvious on his face.

“Rafe , please” You sighed out, dropping your shoulders slowly giving up. Between the alcohol and it being so late, you didn’t have any energy in you at this point to argue and you were just ready to go home and crash. Rafe noticed the body change in you, his grin falling from his face.

“I’m sorry” he said softly as he held out your phone to you. You were shocked. Rafe apologizing? Nobody but his father had ever heard those words coming from him so for him to say this to you really took you by surprise.

You slowly took the phone from him, your brows furrowed together in confusion.

“uhm,” you said as you pulled your arm back towards yourself. “thanks” you mumbled before turning on your heels making your way back to your friends.

“Y/n stop arguing and just do it!” Your mom yelled at you as she pushed the cleaing cart your way. You had to work with your mom today at the country club unfortunately and you were not even the slightest bit happy about it. She needed help and ‘You teenagers don’t do anything for yourselves’ as she would say, so you were stuck cleaning the floors while she did whatever it is that she does.

“Okay!” you huffed out as you picked up the broom off of the cart, aggressively beginning to sweep against the floor. You rolled your eyes as she mumbled something else to you before walking away, leaving you to clean the room alone.

It wasn’t long after that you heard some familiar voices walking down the hall way towards the room you were in. It most definitely sounded like the horrible three, Topper, Kelce and Rafe. You quickly turned your back towards the door, hoping none of them would notice you since you were alone and you against 3 just didn’t sound like a good time. You continued sweeping as you heard the group laughing as they passed the room you were in, not even paying you no mind. You sighed with relief as you realized they hadn’t noticed you and continued back to sweeping the floors.

“Hey” you heard from behind you. You jumped up gasping loudly as you turned around quickly, only to see Rafe himself standing there .

“God – fuck Rafe you scared the shit out of me. “ You breathed out, your hand over your chest as you tried to calm your heart beat down.

“sorry” he responded. There was that word again that didn’t exist in Rafe’s dictionary. You caught yourself staring before you quickly snapped yourself out of your trance, placing your hand on your hip.

“What do you want Rafe?” You scoffed out. He smirked before walking over to one of the Desks that sat in the room. You watched as he sat down on the edge, grinning as he stared over at you.

“ Never seen you here before.” He stated. You rolled your eyes before you propped your elbow up on your broom, sighing heavily.

“my mom works here. I’m just helping” You exclaimed, not that it was any of his business anyway.

“Huh” He responded nodding his head. He kept quiet once again, leaving the room silent and you beyond confused. You eventually shook your head at him, indicating for him to continue, but he didn’t.

“Look Rafe “ you started, standing yourself up straight. “I have to get back to work so unless you’re here for something important, you can go the fuck on” you finished. Rafe hopped off the edge of the desk, taking a few steps towards you , his body now hovering over yours. You began to feel your heart pound again, this time from the nerves as he stood so close to you. The smell of his cologne, grass and sweat from his Golfing lingering in your nose. you felt your hands begin getting clammy as you tried to hold your composer, your breath hitched in the back of your throat.

Rafe slowly lifted his hands, placing it under your chin, his blue eyes focused on yours. You didn’t know what to do at this point. You’ve had one on one Arguments with rafe before but none where he stood this close, and this quiet with you.

“Rafe” You breathed out as he lifted your chin, your face close together. He grinned once again, leaning in closer to you.

“You’re so beautiful” He said softly. You stared back into his blue eyes for a second before leaning in slightly. You were taken back though as he let go of your face , taking a step back and putting his hands in his pockets.

“ see ya” He responded calmy before walking back out of the room, following back to his friends.

You stood in shock, confused by Rafes actions. You were for sure positive that he was going to kiss you but he didn’t.

“what the fuck?” you mumbled before shaking your head in confusion at Rafe’s actions. You sighed heavily before sweeping your broom across the floor again, trying to regain your compose.

Most of your day went on like normal. You finished work with your mom, your mind only focused on your brief conversation you had with Rafe earlier.

It sucked because you had feelings towards Rafe, and you couldn’t tell if you were overthinking his actions or if he actually was in to you as well.

You had come to a conclusion though- it was one of two options. He was either fucking with you, or he wanted to fuck you. And you were determined to find out by tonight.

“Here goes nothing” You sighed to yourself as you stood outside TannyHill, the outside lights lighting up the big white house. You quickly jumped over the concrete fence, your feet landing in the wet grass.

Your eyes roamed the balcony, trying to remember which area you had seen Rafe standing at before. You bit your bottom lip as you concentrated, only to see Rafe himself walk by one of the windows.

“gotcha” You spoke softly before crouching down some, doing a quick jog across the field in hopes no one would see you.

You quickly managed to climb your way up the house onto the balcony you had just recently seen Rafe at. This was one of the pro’s of being a Pogue. You guys were very athletic and could always find your way to anything no matter the obstacles. You stood catching your breath as your feet finally landed on the wooden floor, the area barely lit by the light from the windows.

“What the fuck am I doing?” You said to yourself as you stood in the dark outside of what looked to be Rafe’s bedroom. You ran your hands through your hair, turning back around to face the field.

“What the fuck am I doing?” you said to yourself again as you began pacing. This is Rafe we’re talking about. Of course this man is just fucking with you. He’s been nothing but a dick to you and your friends for years. why in God’s name would he want you now? You knew you weren’t’ ugly. You were in shape, had decent hair (Even though you probably smelt like sweat sometimes because of how much you spent outside with the gang) But for the most part you cleaned up well.

Plenty of guys wanted you- but you looked nothing like any of the rich girls Rafe hooked up with. Why would he ever want you? It was clear that he was only acting this way towards you so him and his friends could have a good laugh later.

You shook your head in disbelief that you even had the balls to climb this guys house and actually think you could even ask him if he was interested in you. You began to climb back over before you heard a door open. You froze instantly, hoping they wouldn’t see you in the dark but that was just wishful thinking.

“Y/n?” You heard someone say. You mumbled a ‘ fuck’ as you recognized the voice to be Rafe.

“Uhm” You replied awkwardly as you climbed down, turning towards him to face him.

“Care to explain?” He asked throwing his hand up in your direction.

“Uhh” You said awkwardly as you ran your hand through your hair before placing them down your side.

“Y/n what the fuck are you doing climbing up my house at fucking 11 at night” he spat out. You flinched slightly at the harsh tone of his voice, your eyes roaming everywhere but his face , afraid to look at him in humiliation.

“okay so” you started, looking down at your feet. You stood for a second, wondering how you were going to explain yourself without sounding like ta total creep.

“Alight fuck it. “ you breathed out, looking up at Rafe. “You’ve been acting weird towards me, and being all like nice and flirty one minute and a complete ass the next and like – I just need clarification “ You exclaimed before you took in a deep breath, staring at Rafe as you waited for a response. You bit your bottom lip as he continued staring at you with a blank expression.

“Well?” You repeated, but he stayed quiet. You rolled your eyes, annoyed with the mind games he continued to play. “Rafe what is it? You like me or are you like fucking with me?” You spat out in frustration.

He finally changed his expression, this time a cocky smirk forming on his face. He reached out, grabbing one of your hands before walking backwards, leading you to follow him into his bedroom.

“uhh Rafe?” You questioned, confusion written all over your face as his eyes continued staring into yours.

“I’m not explaining myself” He finally spoke, his hair draped over his eyes as he looked down at you. You scrunched your face up as he reached behind you, closing the patio door. He chuckled slightly at your confusion before taking a step back away from you. “I’m just gonna show you” He exclaimed before pulling against your arm, leading you towards the bed before pushing against your shoulder, making you flop down. Your eyes widened as he walked over towards you, a smirk never leaving his face as his hand reached up, pushing away the stray hair in your face.

“You know, I’ve wanted to fuck you for quite sometime” He stated, leaning forward. “I mean look at you,-“ his eyes looked down and then back up your body, landing back onto your eyes, “You’re hot as fuck” He responded. You didn’t have a clue on what to say, so you continued in the same spot , sitting on his bed propped up on your hands behind you.

“You know for a pogue,” He finished, chucking as you rolled your eyes at his comment.

“Why didn’t you say anything ?” You finally spoke, looking up at him through your lashes. His cocky smirk left his face, only to return shortly after.

“Had to make sure the feelings mutual.” He replied , standing back up straight.

“and Who said it was?” You asked , trying to build your confidence back up. Rafe’s smirk widened before he let out a chuckle, his finger pointed out towards the balcony you were just climbing a few minutes ago.

“You did” he replied . you lowered your head some without responding, knowing he wasn’t wrong. HE stared down at you for a few seconds before he leaned in, the tip of his nose touching yours.

“Rafe” You breathed out as he stayed teasingly close.

“Hm” he hummed, not moving his face.

“Just fucking kiss me already” You demanded. Rafe happily obliged, his lips colliding with yours. Your hands immediately made their way to the back of his head, tugging on his hair.

“You wanna lay down for me ?” He asked after a few minutes of your tongues fighting for dominance. You didn’t respond other than nodding before you slowly laid yourself down, your eyes not leaving Rafe’s. Rafe grinned before unbuttoning your shorts, tugging on them. You lifted your hips up from the bed, helping him slide your shorts down as your teeth clamped down around your bottom lip. He stared at your hot pink panties, seeing the darkened area as you were already soaked.

“Soaking wet and I haven’t even touched you” He indicated. You felt heat rise to your cheeks as attempted to lower your head in embarrassment even though he could see you. Your mouth flew open as Rafe leaned down, pressing open-mouthed kisses against your damp panties, applying friction against your clit. You moaned out, leaning your head back as he placed the palm of his hand against you, rubbing up and down at a slow pace.

“Does that feel good?” He asked, his voice low and deep. You bit your bottom lip before nodding your head. Rafe grinned before he tugged on your panties, pulling them down to your ankles.

“Spread your legs open baby” He demanded , his voice calming but deep and intimidating.

You grinned before slowly spreading them open, his eyes focused on your heated core the whole time.

You laid your back flat against his bed as he got down on his knees, pulling you by your hips down to the edge of the bed, your bottom hanging off directly across his face .

“Rafe” You moaned out as you felt his warm tongue glide along your slit, his tongue stopping against your clit before he enclosed his lips, sucking slightly. He wiggled his tongue back and forth as his inserted his two index fingers into you, curving upwards. You gripped your hands against his navy blue sheets, gasping loudly as his fingers hit against your g-spot, sending tingling feelings through your body.

Rafe took one of his hands and trailed it up your stomach under your crop top, his hand groping around breasts.

You continued moaning loudly as his finger tips swirled around your nipples while his other hand continued moving rapidly against you, his eyes looking up at you in admiration.

Rafe lifted himself up, his face close to yours as his fingers continued moving inside you.

Y/n” he called out softly causing you to open your eyed and look over at him.

He placed his lips against yours as he slowly grinded himself against your side, pushing his rock hard shaft against you.

“You wanna do this?” He breathed out as he looked down at you, the pace of his fingers slowing down. You nodded looking up at him, your heart nearly pounding out of your chest.

“Yes Rafe” you practically whined out. Rafe moved himself to where he was hovering over you, his lips placed against your neck as he pulled his joggers down some, his member popping against his abs. You breathed out deeply as you watched him line himself up before slowly sliding himself in.

“ fuck” He groaned out as he felt your walls wrap tightly against him. Rafe was not only long, but he was thick all the way around, filling you more than anyone had ever done before. You placed your arms around his neck, holding him close as he began moving his hips against you.

The room was silent, only the sounds of your deep breathing and small groaning from Rafe as he continued rocking his hips in you at a steady pace, one hand placed above your head as the other gripped tightly under your thigh to hold your leg up.

“Rafe go harder” You pleaded. Rafe instead stopped his movements completely before rolling you over onto your stomach. He pulled slightly against your hips causing your bottom to stick up in the air as your face was pressed into the bed.

You gasped loudly as Rafe inserted himself into you again from behind, the new position giving him access to going deeper in you, which was exactly what he did. You felt his hand land on the back of your head, pressing you deeper into the bed as he began grinding his hips deep into you. He began slow at first but then began giving you exactly what you wanted , slamming himself into you over and over again.

At this point the pleasure was overwhelming and you couldn’t hold the moaning in as he continued rocking his hips into you, the sound of skin slapping echoing the room.

“Fuck im gonna cum” Rafe groaned out deeply in your ear, the feeling of your tight warm walls around him bringing him close to his own climax. He began placing sloppy kisses on your back, his pace speeding up. You arched your back feeling yourself clench around him as you orgasmed, your clit pulsing. You whined out, tugging on his sheets as Rafe continued to pound into you, riding out your high.

“Fuck y/n “ Rafe groaned out as he quickly pulled out, pumping himself off shooting his load on your back.

You both stayed in the same position for a few more minutes as you tried catching your breath before Rafe grabbed a napkin from his nightstand, wiping your back off.

You rolled over, laying on your back as Rafe put his bottoms back On before looking back over at you out of breath. You grinned as your eyes roamed his glistening body, his abs very prominent and his hair stuck to his forehead from sweat.

“ You should’ve definitely came to me sooner” you finally spoke out with a giggle. He sat down on the edge if the bed chuckling slightly.

“Yeah, that was nice. “ He responded. The room became silent, you both just sitting awkwardly while you laid on his bed still naked. After a moment of silence, you finally sat up, pulling his top sheet with you while getting up off the bed.

“Soo” You said awkwardly as you wrapped the sheet over your sweaty body.

“you can use the front door ” He responded looking up at you. You almost wanted to slap him at this point, realizing he was indicating for you to leave. You scoffed while rolling your eyes before turning away, picking your clothing up off the floor.

“What?” He asked as he continued sitting on the edge of the bed, noticing you aggressively picking your clothes up in anger.

“Nothing Rafe” you mumbled as you pulled your shorts back up up your legs, turning your back towards him.

“Hey” He responded standing up, grabbing your hand after you pulled your top over your head.

“What” You replied back, looking up at him with anger.

“I wasn’t saying you had to leave now I was just saying you didn’t have to climb down the house again” He exclaimed. You stood for a second before shaking your head.

“I should go anyways, it’s late” You replied before walking over towards your shoes, sliding them on over you feet. “but don’t worry I’ll take the balcony so no one sees me”. Rafe wanted to reply to your comment but instead he stayed quiet as he watched you make your way back to his balcony before stopping, leaving your hand on the doorknob.

“Uhm” You spoke , causing him to look up at you. “I’ll see you later?” You stated, more like questioned just for your own clarification. He grinned before nodding his head, walking towards you. He walked you out to the balcony, helping you over the edge before watching you climb down to the ground to make sure you made it down safely.

You did a light jog back towards the concrete wall before turning around, looking up at the balcony. You grinned when you saw him still standing there watching you. You gave him a wave before turning on your feet, climbing back over the fence and going home.

***

Sorry I’ve been incognito for a while but ya girl is back 🥲

Also,

✨As always feedback, like, and a reblog is always appreciated ! ✨

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