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troonwolf · 2 years ago

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Anyway this post is about me:

So I want to make some things very clear.

I am doing this because I am sick of the gossip and badmouthing. This person has a much larger audience than me, many that are in the same fandoms as me and who sometimes interact with my art. I plan to open commissions in the future because I’m in desperate financial need, and someone smearing me like this (and name-dropping me, which I know he does in private) could seriously hurt my ability to earn in fandom spaces.

Additionally, I find it ridiculous that someone who claims to hate “toxic callout fandom culture” and etc, is doing to me exactly what he complains other people do: lying, exaggerating, and misrepresenting events to make someone look “problematic” and essentially unperson them in fandom.

With that said-

I have never harassed mywitchcultblr (the author of that post).

I have never sent them messages about Disney, Marvel, Ao3, whether on anon or personally.

I in fact have never sent anyone messages about Marvel, Disney, Ao3, or ANYTHING else related to fandom.

Nor do I consider “all Ao3 users paedophiles”. I use Ao3. My boyfriend uses Ao3. My friends and mutuals use Ao3- this also goes for Disney and Marvel. Tons of people around me love those things.

No one around me cares that I sometimes criticise those things. When I do criticise those things, it’s always some dumb shitpost that I intentionally leave untagged so that it’s isolated in my own space.

The only time I ever approached mywitchcultblr about “discourse”, was to do with natural systems and DID, because I myself have DID. Even then I was civil, the conversation was over in a few messages, and we never spoke about it again.

When I first met Ann, his blog was a lot different from what it is now. There was barely any NSFW or kink, barely any fandom discourse. He just posted about fandom and LGBT stuff.

When he became involved in fandom discourse, began constantly posting untagged NSFW, being defensive when people asked him to tag things, and overall saying and doing things that made me uncomfortable or that I did strongly disagree with, I just blocked him.

We didn’t argue.

I didn’t send him any messages.

I didn’t send him any anons.

I blocked him and moved on. I set a boundary and moved on. That’s what you’re meant to do, right? Then why am I still hearing about it a year later?

Despite the fact I am just some guy he knew for a few months, he has this obsession with me as some kind of fallen father figure in his personal narrative. I’m always referred to as “someone I looked up to who disappointed me.”

This is inappropriate. I am no one’s role model. I didn’t consent to be your father figure and told you on several occasions how severely mentally ill I am. This would be parasocial if I was a bigger blogger but since I’m just some guy, it’s not quite that but still not healthy or reasonable.

We were in each other’s lives for a few months and talked occasionally. That’s it.

We didn’t even argue or have a real “falling out”. I blocked him. There was no interaction. But ever since then he spreads more exaggerations and lies about me and I’m tired of it.

Don’t take the word of someone who knew me less than a few months, that I’m a toxic harasser, just because I stopped feeling comfortable on his blog and blocked him for my own comfort.

I wish him no ill will but I do wish he’d stop projecting his father issues onto me, and I don’t say that to be funny. it’s extremely weird and uncomfortable to be put in this situation of “I idolised you because you’re an older queer man in fandom and I’m going to make that your problem if you don’t live up to my ideals.”

I’m just some guy. I’m in my 30s, childless, homeless, gay, majorly spangled in the head. No one should be looking up to me. I shouldn’t be held accountable for other people’s made up versions of me. I think we can all agree that isn’t fair.

If he was just calling me a buzzkill or cynical or annoying, I’d fully agree with those statements lmao! But to say I’m toxic and that people around me will be harassed for disagreeing with me is an exaggeration of my character.

I also want to add that my boyfriend has attempted messaging him in order to have a civil discussion on why he keeps lying about me when it's been practically a year since I blocked him, but Ann doesn't respond.

Anyway, that’s all folks.

#btw I'm keeping the specifics of our differences vague #because if I specify events then this post just turns into a counter-smear #and all I want is for him to stop being weird about me and telling people I will harass them for no reason #or doing this weird ''I used to look up to you'' thing #it's genuinely very invasive and uncomfortable #mywitchcultblr #luke I am NOT your father I am just some crazy old man please move on #he legit makes it sound like we were couple or something #when the reality is i barely fucking knew him and just felt uncomfortable on his blog #ive never spoken a word to him since the block but he comes up with these ridiculous things #that i apparently said #which i never fucking said #it doesnt even make sense so many people blocked him wgen his blog changed #but im being constantly singled out #and his muts and friends are generally enabling his obsession #because they dont realise just how much its based on NOTHING #I BLOCKED HIM AND WE OFTEN HAVE OPPOSITE OPINIONS #THATS LITERALLY IT 😭#pls go through my blog and tell me where anyone is being harassed #its not there it doesnt exist

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fragileizywriting · 2 years ago

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I posted 2,008 times in 2022

That's 1,269 more posts than 2021!

1,634 posts created (81%)

374 posts reblogged (19%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@fragileizy

@fragileizywriting

I tagged 1,812 of my posts in 2022

Only 10% of my posts had no tags

#speakizys - 1,645 posts

#demon lovin - 779 posts

#fire lily petals - 510 posts

#sharks and sugar - 319 posts

#locker talk - 139 posts

#izycrossover - 105 posts

#the ot3 server is bullying me - 25 posts

#talking about [redacted] - 15 posts

#izydraws - 14 posts

#anyway - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#‘i don’t even know your name. i don’t even know when your birthday is. i don’t know how your eyes light up when someone you love calls you’

My Top Posts in 2022:

“Why did you give me this, Adrien?” she asks, rather small.

“Oh. Oh, uhm. Do you not like it?” He turns to her, finally looking away from the tank, his gaze meeting hers. His eyes look almost brown, so dark, yet so readable. She can’t even look away. “I thought you’d like this. I thought, you know, since you always talk about how much you want to see sharks all the time, I thought maybe we could—”

“You’re right, I do—”

“—see the sharks together?—”

“Correct. Adrien, this is— holy hell. This is perfect—” she bites her lip so that a cry can’t get out, pinching her eyes tight. Her eyelids squeeze, strong enough for color to blur and blend into nothing but white, tears streaking down her hexleather and touching her bare skin. She hiccups when there’s a thumb on her jaw, warm, wiping right where the seam of the hexleather meets skin.

“It doesn’t feel like it’s all that perfect when you’re crying,” he murmurs.

He has no idea. He has no idea that she’s paralyzed. In fear, in desperation, wanting to tell him every single little thing and knowing not to— she’ll ruin everything— she’ll ruin their entire friendship— if she tells him that she loves him so much that it hurts to breathe.

She loves him so much that it hurts to breathe.

Oh, oh, and the thought of that admission is what gets her to sob, watching his outline haze into nothing but yellows and dark greens as she gasps out, something sharp and something desperate, clinging to breath on its edges with nothing but serrated claws.

“It is perfect,” she sobs. “This is the greatest thing anyone’s ever given me.”

“Then what’s wrong, Kitty?” he asks her as she leans into his hand, cupping him by the wrist. Wishing so hard to be able to feel his hand without the hexleather in the way. “Why are you crying?”

“B-because I—” she shudders again. No. Don’t. Don’t ruin it. Don’t ruin the only thing left in life that makes sense. That makes everything worthwhile. “Because y-you make me so happy, Sunshine. I can’t believe you got us to have the aquarium all to ourselves tonight— I can’t believe you did this for me. I can’t believe that you’d do this for me.”

“Of course I would.” He gives her a little smile. Just brief. Just enough for her to see it through her swimming vision. “You’re my best friend, and I love you.”

21 notes - Posted May 8, 2022

ALL OF THAT WRITING FOR FLP AND STILL ONLY 233 PAGES? JESUS >:(

23 notes - Posted December 7, 2022

blanche is my sweet little darling and i love her. she's allowed to maim as a treat and deserves kisses from one (1) adrien (and maybe one (1) luka if she's vulnerable enough)

30 notes - Posted November 13, 2022

"who, him? no, my familiar is harmless!"

(he is very much not harmless!)

Want to know more of this AU? Click Here

someone in the ot3 server asked what chat looked like and i don't have any art because drawing men makes me miserable (more than drawing in general, honestly, because of my problems with holding pencils). HOWEVER.

i had art from 2018/19 from when this au was first conceptualized, but it was only a shitty png version of it as the psd file had gotten corrupted... i redrew parts of this to fit the au as it is now. it's not perfect, and i wanted to change some more things, but my hand... ough. i cannot draw more. my hand is on fire... but i wanted to show you what i have at the moment before i forget.

i wish i could change marinette's hair to black in this, but since chat is already void, it would just look messy. i'm sure if i were more talented i'd figure something out, but for now, let's just all pretend that her hair is black in this. not as dark as The Void that is Chat. also, i don't think anyone noticed this in the original story, but marinette's eye color is never talked about. i wanted to give her blue eyes only when she's using magic, because it would make her look cooler, but i got lazy super quickly when drawing this. i guess that's fine. i had a lot of people question why i changed a marinette's eye color the last time i tried it, so...

anyway, i need to take a nap ToT

40 notes - Posted April 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

she just slathers herself in it, up until it starts to hurt, hissing to herself as she uses her knuckles to roll tightened flesh. maybe 'slather' is too harsh of a word, but butters herself is definitely applicable-- gah! no! no thinking about butter! no food, not yet, not until she's taken care of herself the way she needs to.

shower? done.

wash hair? done.

exfoliate? done.

deodorant? done.

pajamas? done.

she still has a skin-care routine to go through, all six steps to make sure she's hydrated but not enough to where she's breaking out into hives and reddened skin. it's a delicate balance, one that she's spent so long trying to fix, and if this ruins her night she's about to crash and burn and start kicking and screaming into her pillow.

dinner be damned.

breathe. breathe. it's okay. things are fine. just a long day, that's all, there's no need for the knots to form in her shoulders. she's tired, she's hungry, she's aching for luka's attention, and she wants to smooth out the knots in her thighs before he's back upstairs.

"do you want some help, mousey?"

she blinks tears out of her eyes. "no, no-- i-- i can do this, it's fine, everything's... fine."

breathe. breathe. things are fine. everything is fine. her parents are thankful that she helped out in the bakery today, her grades in school are fine, her boyfriend isn't upset with her, all the kwamis are full and mullo is flying around with a basket of blueberries right behind her, gorging out on a meal before her parents go watch a movie together...

why is she so stressed out?

"i know you can," luka approaches cautiously. she looks up at him with a huff, eyes tired, pouting before she can even stop herself. he sits in front of her, right at the foot of her bed on the cat-shaped floor cushion. "but that doesn't look comfortable. you're hurting yourself like that."

"luka..."

"breathe." she inhales on command, exhaling to the side so she doesn't accidentally move his bangs with her breath. "again."

she does.

"good?"

"good."

"lightheaded?"

"no."

"feeling weird?"

"i don't think so. aside from... i don't know. this." she points to everything about her.

"tell me what's wrong, beautiful."

"i'm tired," marinette sighs out, like it's a justification for the way she's been treating herself. her hands are ringing from how much friction she's used against it, even with all the lotion, she's completely and totally overstimulated. "everything is so much right now."

"i know."

"a long shift on my poor feet--"

he lifts her leg up to place in his lap. "yeah."

"and, and-- and school."

"mmm."

See the full post

47 notes - Posted January 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #does this count as a speakizys. since it's written in 1st person #??????#speakizys

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aliwritesfic · 4 years ago

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First Date (Frankie “Catfish” Morales x F!Reader)

Summary: Frankie only downloaded Tinder after Santi basically forced him to one night, and he never expected to actually meet anyone on there.

Word count: 2.4k

Content warnings: Oral (F receiving), P in V, age gap, online dating, condom used

(I haven’t written creatively in almost 7 years so if this is a waste of time I apologise, also tagging @absurdthirst because i sent them an anon last night about being nervous to post this lmao)

Frankie looked at your photo again and rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. He wasn’t used to this whole online dating thing, and he certainly hadn’t expected to meet anyone on it. Pope swore by it for one-night stands and fuck buddies, and practically forced him to download the app and create a profile while they were all at their favourite bar and Benny had gone home with some girl. He’d swiped right on only a few people and made even less matches. Any conversations he’d had on there fizzled out after a few hours after telling them he didn’t have Snapchat, or Facebook, or Twitter, or anything else like that.

Then he’d matched with you.

Your profile was simple – a couple selfies, a photo on a hike with a beautiful staffy, and a group shot on a night out. Your bio was short and sweet – criminal justice and community welfare student, intersectional feminist, nerd. Lover of cheesy one liners and bad jokes.

Frankie had swiped right almost immediately. The only thing that gave him pause was the age gap – twelve years between you. There were bigger gaps, of course, but he’d never dated anyone more than two years younger.

“You’re both grown adults,” Pope said looking over his shoulder, “what the fuck are you waiting for?”

So, with that, Frankie swiped right and was instantly greeted with a match. His stomach jumped again as you sent the first message, a simple but effective ‘hey, what do teachers and ancient history have in common? They both Babylon!’

You both chatted for a few more days before Frankie decided enough was enough. He asked you out for dinner and drinks at a local sushi place that had recently opened. He felt ill as he waited for your reply, wondering if it was too soon. It was almost an hour later that you replied ‘YES! How’s fri at 8:30 sound?’

It was a date. His first in over a year. The boys had come over to help him get ready, feeling like he was in high school all over again.

Frankie stood outside the restaurant, wishing he hadn’t left his cap in the truck, or at least wishing he’d picked somewhere that didn’t seem like it had an unwritten dress code. But he’d wanted to impress, and the reviews of this place had been positive.

Taking a deep breath, he stepped inside and moved towards the hostess. “Table for two, under Morales.”

“Right this way sir,” the hostess smiled at him and led him towards a table near the back, and Christ you were already there.

You were even more beautiful in person, in a tight dark dress, heels and a denim jacket thrown over the back of your chair. You were reading the menu, a small frown on your face as you squinted at it. You didn’t even notice him approach until he was standing right next to you. When you looked up, your mouth transforming into a grin, his heart skipped a beat.

“Frankie?” You said, your name sounding like heaven on your lips. Frankie sat down opposite you, his palms suddenly sweaty.

“Hey,” he went to say your name and you cut him off with a wave of your hand.

“Please, everyone I like calls me Sunny,” you grinned at him and he knew exactly why.

“Well, Sunny,” Frankie felt himself grin back at you, “it’s nice to finally meet you properly.”

“I’ve been so nervous all day,” you admitted, “but a good nervous, like nervous excited. I was supposed to be making notes on one of my lectures today, but I couldn’t stop thinking about this date. It’s been so long since I’ve been on one, I just stressed myself out about it all day.”

“Well, that makes two of us,” Frankie laughed, relieved to know that the insanely beautiful woman in front of him was just as out of sorts as he was. He was beginning to feel more at ease with you already, something he hadn’t felt with someone new in a long while.

The waitress arrived then, beaming down at you as she asked if you were ready to order. Frankie ordered a plate of sashimi and a spicy crab roll, while you got a veggie roll, and you both ordered a shot of soju.

“Don’t like fish?”

You shrugged, “I’m allergic, not like deathly or anything but I get a rash and a really bad stomach ache. It sucked when I was travelling through Asia a few years ago.”

Frankie frowned, instantly regretting even suggesting the restaurant in the first place. “We can go somewhere else if you like,” he suggested, ready to do anything he could to make this a perfect first date.

“Oh god, no!” You smiled and Frankie’s stomach jumped. “I’ve been wanting to come here for a while now, so when you suggested it, of course I was gonna say yes.”

Frankie felt a little relieved at that, and you two talked for a while, waiting for your meals. He found out your dog was called Lola, you loved old music, and you were a disability support worker before your close cousin went to prison and you decided to enrol in university to study criminal justice. You found out he was a pilot, ex-military and he loved classic lit.

You continued to talk through your meal and several more drinks. He was beginning to deeply enjoy the sound of your voice, your laugh. You made him feel like you two were the only people in the room, everyone else was insignificant.

Eventually though, you both felt it was time to give up your table to someone actually paying. You tried to pay for your own meal and drinks, but Frankie insisted on paying. You both walked outside into the chilly night air, and Frankie couldn’t help but admire how beautiful you were even under the streetlights. You cleared your throat and Frankie noticed a blush creeping up your cheeks.

“I uh, I don’t really want this night to end, do you?” you asked. Frankie decided to do what he could feel himself wanting to do all night.

He stepped forward, closing the gap between you as he cupped your soft cheeks in his rough, calloused hands and kissed you. Your reaction was almost immediate, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and running your fingers through his hair, pressing your bodies together. Your tongue darted along his bottom lip and he instantly granted you access, his own tongue sliding into your mouth. He wanted you. Desperately.

“Do you want to come back to mine,” Frankie asked, his hands slid down to your waist, he kissed along your neck, feeling your pulse flutter under his lips. You moaned softly as his mouth found your collarbone.

“Yes,” you whispered, “god yes.”

He kissed you again, before breaking away to lead you back to his truck.

“How far?” you asked.

“Five minutes,” Frankie said, resting his hand on your upper thigh where the hem of your dress ended. He felt himself tighten in his jeans as he thought about what he wanted to do to you. He driver faster than necessary, turning the journey into a quick three minutes. Once the truck was off you didn’t waste a moment, pulling yourself onto his lap, straddling him between your thighs. Your lips met his frantically, like you were both starving for each other.

Frankie’s hardness pressed against his jeans as you ground against him. He kissed down along your neck and jaw, relishing in your soft moans. One hand stayed planted firmly on your ass, the other snaked up your body to your breasts, pulling your dress down to expose them. You weren’t wearing a bra, and the sight of your breasts in the silver moonlight was irresistible. Frankie’s lips kissed a path down your neck to your collarbone, down further still until he had a hard nipple in his mouth. His tongue flicked over it gently, while his hand played with the other, rolling it around between his finger.

“Frankie,” you moaned, arching your back to give him better access. “Fuck.”

“You like that baby?” he whispered looking up at you. You whimpered in response as the hand on your breast moved down your body toward your thighs.

“Please,” you spread your legs a little further for him, and his fingers began to massage your clit though your soaking underwear. Frankie’s tongue continued to work at your nipple licking and sucking while you cried out in pleasure.

His fingers teased the outside of your entrance, his thumb working your clit in methodical circles.

“Cum for me,” he murmured, his voice husky. You moaned in response, unable to form any words as his fingers slid easily inside of you. Frankie watched your face as he fingered you, his own cock straining against his jeans. God he wanted to fuck you, but not until you’d already cum for him.

Frankie moved his thumb in faster circles and you began to fall apart. You clenched around his fingers, crying out as your body shook with your orgasm. He moved his mouth up to kiss you, whispering between kisses.

“Fuck you’re so sexy,” he groaned.

“We need to go inside,” you panted, your body still trembling slightly. Frankie couldn’t agree more, fumbling with the door of his truck, then his house keys. The moment the door was open you were on him, pulling his jacket off his shoulders, unzipping his jeans. Your bodies moved together in the direction of the kitchen, knocking something down in the process.

Frankie moaned into your mouth as your hands glided up his torso under his shirt. He pressed you against the counter and lifted you up, yanking your dress down to your ankles in the process.

“I want to taste you,” he whispered in your ear, “do you want that?”

“Yes, Frankie, please,” you begged, desperate for him to touch you. He grinned slyly as he crouched down slightly in front of you and spread your legs. The sight of your underwear, drenched with desire, made his mouth water.

Frankie didn’t want to waste a single moment more. With one quick move he slid your underwear down your legs and was working your clit with his tongue. Two fingers moved inside of you and quirked in a come-hither motion.

Your whine of pleasure spurred him on, his tongue massaging your clit expertly. Frankie wanted to tell you how good you tasted, how sexy you sounded, but he didn’t want to waste a moment that could be spent pleasuring you.

“Frankie!” you gasped, your back arching. Your thighs pressed into the side of his head and he moved faster, harder, cock aching with the need to be inside you.

“Frankie, I’m gonna-“ your words were cut short by your orgasm, this one somehow more intense than the one in his truck. Frankie looked up at your face as you came, mouth never leaving your sweet wetness. Your head hung back, moans the only sound you’re able to make. Licking his lips, Frankie stood and cupped the back of your head gently, lifting it so he can look in your eyes. He doesn’t know what he’s done to deserve someone as beautiful as you come home with him, but he wants to make certain it’s worth your while.

He leant down and whispered your name, the sound sweet on his lips. You sat up and kissed him gently, tasting yourself on him.

“Where’s your bed?” you murmured and Frankie smiled against you. Without another word he picked you up easily, wrapping your legs around his waist and carried you to his room, laying you gently on the bed. You looked beautiful, naked in the moonlight, staring up at him with desire.

Frankie discarded the rest of his clothes and climbed onto the bed so he’s hovering over you. His fingers traced soft circles on your waist.

“Are you sure you want to?” he asked

“I need you in me,” you reached up and pulled him closer, “I need you.”

Frankie reached over to his dresser and grabbed a condom, saying a silent thanks to his past self for buying them, and fitted it onto his shaft. Then he couldn’t wait a moment longer.

He lined himself up at your slick entrance, and slowly, gently, not wanting to hurt you with his larger than average size. You whimpered slightly as he pulled out, bucking your hips to stay closer to him.

Fuck you felt so good, you tight walls clenching slightly with each thrust. His thrusts became harder, slamming into you as his own ecstasy built. He moaned your name as you held onto his biceps, nails digging into his warm sweaty skin.

He didn’t know how much longer he could hold off on his own release, and with you looking at him they way you were, you made it almost impossible to hold back. But no, he wouldn’t. Not until you came a third time for him. He needed to feel you cum with his cock inside you.

Frankie moved his hand so it was between you both, and began to massage your slick, swollen clit. You cried out and clenched his biceps harder, and he felt the moment you couldn’t hold yourself back any longer, your walls tightening around his cock, coating it with your pleasure.

“Cum, Frankie,” you whispered in his ear, and god he wanted to. Frankie grunted as he finally couldn’t hold back any longer. Pleasure flushed through his body as he came to the sound of you moaning his name. In that moment, the only tangible things were his orgasm, the feel of you and your voice. It was a few moments before his thoughts became coherent again. He had never experienced pleasure like that with any other woman.

Reluctantly, he pulled out of you, noticing a bead of sweat that had formed between your breasts. Your eyes were half closed, but you watched him as he discarded the condom into a wastebasket, grabbed a box of tissues and with a touch gentler than he thought possible for him, began to clean up between your legs.

“You’re amazing,” he murmured. “Do you know how amazing you are?”

You giggled softly, sitting up to kiss him. “You’re the one who made me cum three times. Most guys can’t even manage once.”

Frankie stroked your cheek, his forehead pressed against yours, deciding in that moment you were someone he did not want to let go of. “Wanna stay the night?”

“Fuck yes.”

#frankie morales #frankie morales x reader #frankie smut

204 notes · View notes

puphee · 2 years ago

Text

I posted 1,079 times in 2022

That's 578 more posts than 2021!

803 posts created (74%)

276 posts reblogged (26%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@puphee

@jaylaxies

@jeontaeil-archived

I tagged 818 of my posts in 2022

Only 24% of my posts had no tags

#🦋ask : anon - 193 posts

#shut up ceb - 159 posts

#txt hard hours - 157 posts

#🦋: mutuals - 96 posts

#enhypen hard hours - 90 posts

#txt smut - 53 posts

#skz hard hours - 48 posts

#soobin smut - 40 posts

#🦋ask : koa anon - 30 posts

#julia🐛 - 28 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#yeah i stalk ur prifile sometimes bc it seems like you have my post notifs on and idk a lot of male tumblr users aside from my moots so

My Top Posts in 2022:

ummm txt mtl to cum from eating the reader out??? ^_^

hope you’re having a good day/night! <3

-@gyulfriend ⭐️

Reasoning will be under the cut!

Most

Soobin

HueningKai

Beomgyu

Yeonjun

Taehyun

Least

I am a firm believer in the Soobin and Huening Service top agenda. Soobin and HueningKai are actually on the same level with this tbh. For different reasons tho

Soobin would def because he’s a huge pervert and it just gets him so riled up to make you feel so good that you’re pulling on his hair or wtv and he just really really gets off to the thought that it’s him of all people making you feel this way. He’s probably fantasized about this a lot before, so when it’s reality, he can’t help how hard and desperate he gets subconsciously </3

Kai is MEGA service top. But he’s also pretty shy. But also not. It’s hard to explain how i think. Kai takes great pleasure in helping you get off, and he thinks it’s so rewarding to see you so blissed out and beautiful and even more so when you praise him for doing such a good job. Like, his sole focus is on helping you get off, so he, like soobin actually, doesn’t even realize he’s grinding his hips against whatever while he’s eating u out, only registers it when he’s actually cum and then he gets all blushy and embarrassed and flustered and apologizes, but you always say it’s okay because it’s really so cute just how happy he really gets just to make you feel good. This (my description of this) is so ass compared to what it’s really like in my brain i wish i could show you what it’s like in my brain so bad rn.

Beomgyu is also a major pervert, and has definitely cum untouched while eating you out before, but it was kind of a once in a while occurrence. it’s not something that happens very often.

Yeonjun and Taehyun are neutral tbh. Yeonjun might have had it happen before when he was extremely turned on or excited before, but that’s it. Taehyun doesn’t think of it as anything significant enough that he could cum from it. Yeonjun kind of has the same mindset in that aspect.

414 notes - Posted June 12, 2022

yeonjun fucking his gf on the kitchen counter in the middle of the night 🥺

Today was a day where the both of you could just lay around in your pajamas for the day, nothing important on your schedules. The sun has set long ago and you're still lounging in your sleep attire while Yeonjun is sat in his gaming chair in only his boxers. Let's say you're both insomniacs, okay? Both of you can't exactly fall asleep any time soon. Maybe it's Yeonjun's fault for having the brightness on his monitor turned onto its highest setting, or it could be that you were staring at your phone screen for the past couple of hours without taking a break, but we aren't going to blame anyone right now. You've finally started to begin feeling tired, so you set your phone down and stretch, stumbling into the kitchen to get a glass of water and maybe cut up an apple for a late snack.

As you were too focused on your screen, you hadn't realized Yeonjun had stopped playing his games and began to watch you with hungry eyes. The position you were laying in was a little... let's say it just gave him a very nice view😁👍 anyways with every shift you make, it had given him even better angles for him to ogle at. Being the pervert he is, he's gotten a little excited. When you get up to go to the kitchen, he follows suit, taking this opportunity. Maybe he'll finally feel tired after blowing your back out lmao.

Anyways, his hands snake around your waist, and he presses up against you. Yeonjun places a kiss to beneath your ear and down your neck, gaining a small giggle from your lips.

"Hey, baby?"

"Hm?"

"Are you still not tired?"

"Hm... only a little, but other than that, I'm a bit restless."

A smirk will grace his lips as he turns you around in his arms, looking you in the eyes. "I have an idea. Maybe it'll help."

It doesn't take much for you to agree, and by now, Yeonjun has lifted you up onto the counter and slipped off your shorts and underwear, leaving your lower half bare in front of him. He delicately traces his fingertips along your folds and rubbed small circles into your clit, collecting your arousal on his fingers with a smile. Once he deems that you're wet enough, he strips his boxers off and steadily pushes into you <3

The angle makes him hit just the right spots repeatedly, your toes curling with every thrust of his hips. He might even bring a hand up to wrap around your pretty throat if that's what you like. Despite the dark, he can perfectly see the way his cock drags out of you only to push right in again sharply.

It'd probably be a bit of a quickie, because not a lot of energy was within the both of you in the first place, so there wasn't a lot to put into it either. (Obviously enough for you both to blow a load tho) Will be very proud of himself with coming up with the idea because you're so spent and tired that you slur your words a little afterwards. You also make sure to tell him how much you liked fucking in that position hehe so you can do it again.

Sorry if this was ass, I wrote this while I had a fever and forgot to post it

556 notes - Posted May 30, 2022

thoughts on makeup sex with any txt member of your choosing?

😼I'm gonna give my thoughts on make up sex with the choi line !! Before you thank me, you're so welcome

YEONJUN:

Your argument was so stupid that you don't even remember what it was about at this point

You've been ignoring him for a few days, so you've forgotten why you were still so upset with him

He feels really bad though, and not talking to you for a few days made him feel even worse

He knew it was his fault for starting it, and he wanted nothing more than to apologize

But you wouldn't return his texts or calls

He's a little worried at this point, so he decides to just show up at your place and try to talk to you in person

When you open the door and look fine, he feels relieved, and immediately engulfs you in a hug

"I'm sorry, baby. I missed you so much."

You pout standing still for a while before feeling your resolve melt and hugging him back.

"Let me make it up to you, please?"

Make up sex with Yeonjun would have a lot of apologies and "I missed you"s.

He'd remind you how much he loves you and will be really gentle the whole time

Missionary bc he wants to kiss all over your face and to kiss away any and all tears that may slip past your eyelids

SOOBIN:

Soobin had been really stressed with work lately and, although he didn't mean to, he took it out on you

You did not appreciate it and you got onto his case about it, saying you weren't going to put up with it and to get out of your apartment

He realizes he messed up almost immediately after you scold him and kick him out

He feels really bad, especially when you ignore him for the next few days or so

Will continue to send you good morning and goodnight texts even though you leave him on read.

After he gets particularly upset about not talking with you, he'll text you again

"I'm sorry. Please let me make it up to you. I miss you."

You're too curious for your own good, so you respond: "how will you make it up to me?"

"Let me come over. I want to show you how sorry I am."

You let him come over and as soon as he's in your apartment and the door is closed, he has you in his arms and his lips on yours.

You would have put up more of a fight if you didn't see that he had been crying.

He leaves apologies repeatedly against your lips, holding you tight as if he were afraid to let you go (which he is)

You hold onto his shirt when you kiss him back, tugging on it a little.

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735 notes - Posted June 17, 2022

11:17 PM

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808 notes - Posted May 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

The Weekend

-p.js

WARNINGS: barely proofread for mistakes, car sex, grinding, unprotected sex, glasses kink, facial, mutual masturbation, jay giving mixed signals ig, open/shitty ending

WORD COUNT: 3.36k

A/N: i kinda gave up on making this any longer, so maybe in the future there will be a part two but that won’t be any time soon. Hope you enjoy ;)

Also I listened to The Weekend by BIBI on repeat while writing this fic so feel free to do the same as you read <3

See the full post

1,379 notes - Posted January 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #yeahhaah baby #The Weekend best post best fic ever

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sparetimeimagines · 4 years ago

Text

Leave Your Lover | Oikawa Tooru

Tags; Angst, Drunk Oikawa, Drinking, ft. Iwaizumi, Shittykawa doing shitty things

Part 2 - Akaashi Keiji

Part 2 - Ushijima Wakatoshi

Masterlist

Scrolling through social media is one thing that you thought you should never do before going to sleep. But you couldn’t stop yourself this time; no, not this time.

Because you got the text messages.

You got the phone calls.

Nothing was going to stop you from seeing the unwanted news.

“So, what are you going to do?“ he runs his large fingers through his dark hair, laid down from the shower he just had.

“I don’t know Haijime. This one, I just don’t understand.“ You say and scroll through your phone refreshing it one more time like you hadn’t seen the bad news.

Iwaizumi was the only one outside of you two who knew what was going on behind closed doors. He knew about the late nights, the early mornings, and the hushed noises in the supply closet before and after every game.

“I have to call it off.“

“Call it off? You don’t have to do anything. All this is on him.“

“Iwaizumi. I can’t keep being the other girl. He chose her. He wants to marry her, not me.“ The truth hurt you in more places than it should. Your heart felt this unresolved pressure that circulated into your lungs.

“No, if someone’s going to do it, it’s going to be Shittykawa.”

“Tooru is not going to do it. You know how he is, he likes to get his way. I- I just can’t do it anymore.”

You refresh the page one more time like a bad tick, re-reading the statement wishing it wasn’t true. The new picture posted of the girl holding her engagement ring and your lover kissing her cheek breaks your heart.

You toss your phone to the side, Haijime sliding into your bed.

“Well, he’s not going to leave her.”

“He’s your best friend, why can’t you talk to him?” You say leaning onto his shoulder.

“I don’t know, Y/n. Come here.”

Iwaizumi Haijime knew you didn’t want to be left alone tonight. He didn’t want you to cry yourself to sleep tonight.

“He’s shitty.” The trainer lets you rest your head on his chest, knowing your heart hurts.

Then you’re silent, letting the reality set in that you lost. Before it didn’t seem like they were serious. It was only supposed to be another fling.

“He promised me he was going to break it off.” You attempt to keep it together, drawing shapes into Iwaizumi’s chest. “He promised me we would be together.”

You’re quiet again, but he suspects you’re about to break.

“Y/n... I wish I could tell you what he’s thinking.” His hand runs across you back. “But sometimes... sometimes I just don’t know.”

You shut your eyes to prevent the tears from falling, however Haijime still feels them on his chest and hears the sniffles you desperately want to hide.

The lights are out, 1:30 in the morning and for some reason you’re abruptly woken from your sleep. Haijime is laid over on his side, his arm thrown over his eyes while his chest rises and falls with each breath.

Then you hear it.

Four loud bangs on the door.

“Haijime.” You jump, smacking his arm to his wake. “Haijime, wake up.”

“Wha- what’s wrong?” He leans over grabbing his phone. “It’s 1:30.”

“Someone’s at the door.”

You jump out of the bed as another round of knocks go off.

“Y/n wait... what if it’s a crazy person?” He runs after you as you pace to the door.

“Just stay here. Or stay in the hall. I don’t know.” You sigh checking the peephole.

“It’s Oikawa.” You groan anger flushing your face. “Freaking Tooru.”

You sigh running a hand through your hair opening the door without thinking.

“What-“ before you can finish the sentence he runs up to you.

“Y/n.” He attempts to grab you into his arms but you back up.

His eyes filter past you into your home.

“Oh... so now you’re with him.” He growls his face growing red.

“Hey wait...” Haijime shifts in front of you as Oikawa swing his fist right into Iwaizumi’s eye.

“Tooru! Stop.”

“No! Don’t call me that.” His red face matches his watering eyes. “Out of everyone you had to choose him.” He slurs his words swaying in front of you.

“Oikawa, you need to stop.” Haijime stands in front of you again.

“So what? Are you two fucking now? Are you sleeping with her?” He yells switching glances between the two of you.

“What? No!” You say behind Iwaizumi’s shield.

“Why would it matter? You’re engaged to a different woman. Why would it matter if I were?”

“Because! Iwachan. Not her. Anyone but her.” Oikawa cries using his palm to wipe the tears.

“I’m not your property, Tooru.” You pass Haijime observing the boys. “You attacked Haijime. You’re drunk.” You begin to cry feeling Haijime’s hand on your shoulder, a reminder he’s still there.

“I know but I love you...” he stumbles towards you.

“Then why did you do it? Why did you propose to her?” You feel yourself begin to shake.

“I don’t know, Y/n.”

“Yes you do, Tooru.” You place your hands defensively on her hips.

“Why Iwaizumi then? Huh? What’s your excuse?”

“Excuse for what?”

“You acting like a whore and fucking my best friend when you realize you can’t have me.” He slurs, this time Haijime covers you completely.

“Don’t talk to her like that.” He grabs Oikawa’s collar. “Go home. You’re drunk.”

“You asshole. You know how I feel about her.”

“Really? Then why did you propose to her? Why did I have to hold Y/n while she cried because YOU hurt her. Yeah. You hurt her.” Haijime holds the door open, his arm like a guard before you.

Oikawa glances between the two of you, but his eyes say two things.

Anger and Hurt.

“Go home to your fiancée.” Iwaizumi sighs while Oikawa turns to you.

“Just let me talk to you.” He sniffles. “I just want to talk to you.”

You eye Haijime for allowance and he sighs.

“Come get me if you need me.”

You meet Oikawa on the doorstep and sit, he joining your side.

It’s silent at first. You not knowing what to say and he stumbling on his words.

“I don’t know what to do.” He sniffles.

“What do you mean?”

“I- I love you. But I love her too.”

“Oikawa... you proposed to her. You asked her to marry you.” Your heart breaks, a sob escaping from your chest. “Oikawa... we can’t do this anymore.”

“But- I love you.”

“Yet you gave her the ring, Tooru. You felt somewhere in your heart that you love her more.”

“But I can’t lose you, Y/n. You mean so much to me.” He wipes his eyes turning to you.

“It’s too late. You chose her! You wanted her. Not me. You made that decision when you asked her to spend the rest of your life with her. You hurt me. You lost me when you asked her to marry you.” Your sobbing eyes droop as he nods.

“I know. I know.” He cries. “I just wish she was you.”

“Then leave her.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?” You stand crossing your arms.

“Because...”

“Tooru don’t hurt me like this.”

“Because...” he starts again.

“What is it?”

“She’s pregnant.”

He meets you at your feet, though you feel like he just stabbed you.

Your heart drops into your gut, and right then you realize you will never look at him the same way ever again.

“I’m sorry.” His hands hover, not know what to do with them. “I’m so sorry, Y/n. I wish she were you.”

You feel your legs shake beneath you and you lean against the door, cracking it.

“H-hai.” You start and Oikawa begins pacing. “Haijime.”

Oikawa keeps apologizing when you turn to him, spitting those eight letters of words like the air you needed.

“I hate you.”

Iwaizumi opens the door behind you and catches the end of your declaration. “I hate you, Oikawa Tooru. I never want to see you again.”

You turn into Iwaizumi, his eye bruising. “Get rid of him.” You sob glancing at Oikawa with nothing to say, but shaking your head with a tremble, leaving them at the scene.

#oikawa toru x reader #oikawa tooru #oikawa x reader #shittykawa #oikawa angst #oikawa x iwaizumi #oikawa x y/n #haikyuu iwaizumi #iwaizumi x y/n #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi haijime x reader #Oikawa smut #haikyuu smut

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eternally-writing · 4 years ago

Text

chain reaction 02 | jjk

genre: fluff and angst

rating: PG

pairing: Jungkook x reader

theme: college!au , enemies to lovers, series

word count: 4.6k

warnings: light swearing

synopsis: A semester with your mortal enemy, Jeon Jungkook, as your lab partner was bound to be an experience to remember.

banner by me!

read part 1 here!

If you want to be tagged in future parts, send me an ask!

--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡--

When you had imagined what Jeon Jungkook’s apartment would look like, you had definitely thought it would look something like an evil lair (except messy, because Jungkook definitely struck you as the messy type).

However, upon stepping into his surprisingly well-finished apartment, you found the exact opposite case. Before this, you had planned to make a ton of jokes based on whatever you would find in Jungkook’s apartment. And the truth was, you still could.

Jeon Jungkook was an absolute neat freak. You watched the way he subtly shuddered as a fleck of dirt from your shoes travelled off of his doormat and you took note of how his kitchen counter was so clean you could probably eat directly off of it (which was especially rare from someone in college). If he had a roommate, there was no trace of him right now, as the apartment pretty much looked like a showhome.

“I didn’t know you were such a clean freak, Jeon,” you said with a smirk.

For the first time, you saw Jeon Jungkook look the slightest bit timid.

“I like to keep things tidy, I guess,” he said while rubbing the back of his neck with his right hand.

He gestured for you to enter his quaint but somehow spacious living room as he sped to the kitchen to grab you a glass of water (he may not like you, but he’d be damned by his mother if she found out he let a guest into his place without giving them a beverage).

You had a very clear game plan when it came to entering Jeon Jungkook’s apartment: Enter. Talk about the project (and nothing else). Grab the chemistry notes from the class you missed on Monday. Leave.

It definitely seemed like an easy peasy 4 step plan - except that all seemed to flow out the window once you saw the photo Jungkook kept on his coffee table. From what you could decipher, it looked like a high school aged Jungkook in a music studio, right in front of the mic, with some of his friends around him. You had never seen Jungkook smile as big as he was in that picture, and it even managed to pull at your heartstrings.

Before you could open your mouth to ask about it, Jungkook had already come over to you and slammed the picture to be face down on the table, leaving smiley high school Jungkook out of sight.

“An invitation into my apartment isn’t an invitation into my private life, Y/N. Don’t get it twisted.” he said coldly, dropping the glass of water hashly onto a coaster by the picture frame.

To be fair, you kind of deserved that (and looking into Jungkook’s personal life definitely wasn’t part of your 4 step plan to seeing him today), but he didn’t have to be that mean. As a peace offering you moved as far away from the photo frame as you could.

“Let’s just get this over with, Jeon. I have a pilates class in an hour on the other side of campus.”

Now Jungkook couldn't pass up that opportunity to make a joke.

“Pilates, mmm.” He let out an overexaggerated moan to make his point.

“ Think you can slip my number to the hot girls there Y/N,” said Jungkook with a smirk.

“In your dreams Jeon. You’re lucky if any girls will still want your number if you fail organic chemistry, which is what you’re going to do if we don’t work on this project.”

“I think you’re forgetting Y/N.” he said as he bent down, bringing his lips to your ear - “if I go down I’m taking you with me sunshine”.

Ignoring how his close proximity to you was making your heart race (it was probably due to anger, right??), you jumped away from him and pulled out your macbook.

“Our group contract is due tomorrow so let’s just finish that up and then I’ll be out of your hair okay?” you said with an air of desperation and potentially sexual frustration.

For the most part, you and Jungkook worked in silence besides the occasional sound of you typing or clearing your throat. Looking at the live google doc in front of you and the progress you both were making, you were starting to think that working with Jungkook might not be the worst thing in the world.

Jeon Jungkook and Y/N L/N : CHEM 251 LAB PRESENTATION CONTRACT

Topic - Green Chemistry

1. Answer all communication from your partner (emails, messages) within 24 hours

2. Complete all portions of assignments at least 1 day before it is due.

3. Any changes to your availability should be communicated to your partner.

4. Y/N will handle the background literature and introduction of the presentation.

5. Jungkook will look for future applications of Green Chemistry and direct applications of course material in the field of Green Chemistry.

6. Don’t fall in love with your partner.

As soon as you saw Jungkook type the last point on the document, you glared at him beside you on the couch.

“Seriously Jeon? I forgot you have the mindset of a 13 year old boy,” you muttered as he looked at you cockily.

You took a deep breath as your internal monologue started to run:

Okay, Y/N. you’re not here to let Jeon Jungkook mess with you. 3 strikes and you’re out of here - there’s no reason to need to keep up with his bullshit (especially since at least the first part of your project was over).

Jungkook had then had to add more rules to your group contract.

7. Y/N will give out Jungkook’s number to any hot girl at her pilates class.

You groaned and hastily deleted off the document.

That was strike 1 for Jungkook. 3 strikes and he’s out.

Jungkook was still relentless in his attacks.

“Seriously though Y/N, do you really not think I’m attractive at all? You really don’t want a piece of this?,” he said as he wiggled his eyebrows and gestured to his body all too suggestively.

“Cut it out Jeon, I’m not dealing with your shit today,” you hissed, your eyes shooting metaphorical lasers into Jungkook.

Strike 2: He’s getting close.

“C’mon Y/N, what’s the chance that you’ll ever be able to bag someone as hot as me. I mean, look at me and look at you!”

Strike 3: you were DONE with Jeon Jungkook today.

Not even stopping to put on your shoes fully, you took one last glance back at him before you walked out the door.

“Fuck you, Jeon Jungkook.”

The glass of water he got you sat untouched on his coffee table, drops of water spilling onto the photo frame beside it due to his apartment shaking from you slamming his door.

Mirroring the new droplets on his coffee table, you found tears starting to drop across your face as well.

--♡--

Even though you loved your chemistry lecture, you’re not sure why chemistry labs had such a bad vibe to you. The most obvious explanation for this would be having Jeon Jungkook as a lab partner (especially after your last meeting, the situation speaks for itself). But what could be is probably at least part of the reason is because of what happened in your first year 8AM chem lab. After getting through a grueling 3 hour titration (that you messed up and got no results for in the end), you walked back to your dorm to find your (now ex) boyfriend Jimin in bed with your roommate, Soomi.

Needless to stay you left that day with one less friend, no boyfriend (and you had also gotten 16/30 on that lab… yikes), so chemistry labs did leave a little bit of a bad taste in your mouth.

It had been months since that incident, but even after getting a new lease and cutting any ties you remotely had to Jimin, you still carried the insecurity that Jimin instilled in you by cheating on you with someone who you thought of as a sister.

You had yet to run into Jimin against post-breakup, and had managed to successfully avoid him, until now.

“Y/N?”

You knew that voice all too well. Turning around, you were met with the sight of your ex, Jimin. As if that wasn’t bad enough, as you looked him over you noticed your old roommate, Soomi, hanging off of his arm. You had no clue that they were still together (you had lost all contact with anyone remotely related to Jimin), and somehow seeing them together hurt you even more.

Jimin looked even prettier than you had last remembered him; his prince-like hair shone in the afternoon sun, his charming smile seemed even brighter. Knowing Jimin was still with Soomi made you feel that he didn’t even feel a pang of regret for cheating on you, like he didn’t need to take some time by himself to reflect (like you definitely did) or stop to grieve your relationship. From your point of view, it seemed like you never even mattered to Jimin.

You suddenly felt self conscious of everything under the judgmental gazes of Jimin and Soomi. Those baby hairs that you didn’t bother to pin down with a bobby pin this morning now felt like they were sticking straight out of your head and the pimple that was poking through your concealer on your forehead suddenly felt like a volcano. In your mind, compared to Soomi, you looked like a hot mess.

Your brain was on autopilot for all the small-talk you made with the two of them, and you didn’t snap out of your trance until you heard these words from Jimin.

“I only wish the best for you Y/N”

You internally scoffed at this statement. Who the fuck was Park Jimin to say that he “wishes the best for you”. You took months to get over him and the hurtful words he said to you. Every mean comment and snarky comparisons he made to you felt like it was tattooed onto your skin and stuck with you forever. But now he was standing in front of you like nothing was wrong?

In a different world, you probably would’ve slapped Jimin across the face. But instead you rose above like your mom taught you to.

“You as well Jimin.” you said courtly with a nod, trying to stop the tears that were pricking at your eyes from escaping your tear ducts.

After receiving a small nod from Jimin as a response, you turned around as if you had somewhere to be (in reality, you didn’t have class for another 2 hours).

Getting as far away from Jimin was all you could think about at the moment, and you moved as far as your legs could take you in whatever direction you thought would take you out of your college’s quad, even as the tears falling from your eyes blurred your vision.

You didn’t know how to feel. You had imagined what seeing Jimin for the first time after the break up would look like; maybe he would grovel at his knees and beg to have you back (it’s not that you wanted to date him again or that you had feelings for him, but it would feel nice to feel wanted), maybe you would just throw a drink in his face and walk away like a bad bitch, maybe you could’ve flashed a new boyfriend in front of his face.

All of a sudden your phone started to ring. Your first fear (and somewhat hope) was that it would be Jimin calling you, but little did you know that it was something so much worse.

Incoming Call: Jeon Boy

“as if this day couldn’t get any worse,” you thought to yourself as you pressed decline. You had yet to talk to Jungkook since that day at his apartment (you didn’t even call to congratulate him on his

Incoming Call: Jeon Boy

You groaned and hit the decline but at the speed of lightning again.

Incoming Call: Jeon Boy

Seriously, could this guy not take a hint? You were tempted to turn your phone off all together, but settled for hitting the decline button again.

Incoming Call: Jeon Boy

You realized that for whatever reason, Jungkook was not giving up, so you either had to answer him or listen to your ringtone of “Love Killa” by Monday X play every 10 seconds. Praying that your voice wouldn’t betray you, you took a deep (albeit shaky) breath and tried your best to wipe your tears before clicking “answer”.

“Look Jeon, I’m - uh - sorry but I really can’t do this right now okay? I’ll call you later.” you choked out, your voice obviously wavering as you tried to be as professional as possible.

Before you could press the “end call button” you heard Jungkook’s concerned voice through the speakers.

“Y/N, wait, you don’t sound too good. Are you okay?”

Ah yes, “are you okay” - probably the most loaded question a person could ever ask.

You probably could’ve kept it together if he had asked any other question, but his “are you ok” truly pulled at your heartstrings.

You felt your chest tightening but you tried your best to help the feeling subside. You had yet to show weakness about how Jimin had affected you to anyone, and you sure as hell weren’t going to start with Jeon Jungkook. Clutching at your chest and taking a few deep breaths in an effort to calm your racing heart, you continued on.

“Is that genuine concern I’m hearing from you Jeon? Be careful, you’re losing your bad boy persona,” you said as you tried to make a joke to distract him.

“Y/N, no. I’m serious. are. you. okay.”

You couldn’t handle it anymore. Sobs broke free from your chest and you heaved into the phone, your whimpers and whines striking Jungkook on the other side of the phone.

“I, I can’t- I just-“

The words barely broke through your sobs. Your chest was tightening and you could barely hear Jungkook through the ringing in your ears.

“Y/N where are you, I’m coming’” said Jungkook. You could hear the jingling of his car keys and the rustling of him putting on shoes.

As if mother nature felt your pain, the rain started pouring down on you at the same time.

You barely got out any more words to Jungkook, but he didn’t hang up on you. He just kept whispering comforting phrases, trying to calm you down from afar as you could hear his car engine roaring in the background (in another world, you definitely would’ve yelled at him for using his phone while driving). You barely even registered that Jungkook was there at all. Every memory of you and Jimin seemed to reopen like a fresh wound, and you couldn’t feel anything except the pain. All you could do was sit on a random curb by the edge of campus, your wails probably reaching the sorority houses nearby.

You felt broken. The sound of the thunder overhead mixed with your cries as the rain pelted you, soaking your thin sweatshirt. You don’t know how much time passed there. In your head, it felt like time was frozen, while for Jungkook it felt like he was wasting hours zooming through campus (he truly was zooming - a month later he found out that he had accumulated 3 speeding tickets trying to find you, but he would never tell you that).

“Oh, sunshine,” he murmured, voice laced with pity and concern as he pulled over his car on the curb in front of you.

You and Jungkook hadn’t even said a word to each other since the feud at his apartment, and you had absolutely zero clue how he even managed to figure out where you were through your jumbled phone call. But all you knew is that right now you needed him. You needed someone to give you a bit of comfort, and Jungkook was somehow here to do that for you. Despite everything between you twom you couldn’t hide the feeling of relief that ran through your body as you looked up and saw Jungkook in front of you.

Coming to your side, Jungkook crouched beside you.

“Jungkook”, you wept as he pulled you into his chest. It was probably one of the first times you had actually addressed him by his first name, which came as a surprise to him.

Holding you closer, Jungkook couldn’t help but feel protective over you. He couldn’t help but hurt with you as he saw your fragile figure shaking in his arms.

“You’re gonna be okay now Y/N, okay? I’m here. I’m here for you. I’m not going anywhere.”

And in that moment, on a dirty curbside off campus, you weren’t Jeon boy and little miss sunshine, mortal enemies and chemistry lab partners. Instead, you were just Jeon Jungkook and Y/N., and nothing else seemed to matter at the moment.

--♡--

To your surprise (and the surprise of anyone else who knows you), you and Jungkook had not been stepping on each other’s toes as much. What had started out as extreme, extreme dislike had turned into a mild dislike (maybe even a very slight enjoyment of his presence, although you weren't about to admit that anytime soon). And of course, you both refuse to acknowledge the “Jimin incident” that had occurred a week ago and you both refuse to believe that it may have had something to do with you and Jungkook not hating each other. Your emails stopped being signed off with “do your part Jeon, or else” and instead now usually started with “Hey Jeon!” and “Thanks, Y/N”

That brought you here, in your apartment on a Friday night, eating old pizza in an old sweatshirt, no bra, and some comfy shorts that had definitely been through the wash one too many times. Researching for your chemistry project, you chuckled at how much of a londer you would look to an outsider. Sending off the articles you found on Green Chemistry to Jungkook, you closed out the email with some casual pleasantries and then turned to continue rewatching episodes of your favourite kdrama. You definitely weren’t expecting a response from Jungkook until Monday. You were sure that someone like him was at a frat party (was he even in a frat? You had no idea). Either way, Jungkook probably was lounging around in some party house with like 6 girls on his arms, while you were doing quite the opposite.

Surprisingly, Jungkook was actually doing quite a similar thing to you. Instead of watching kdramas, he was watching Iron Man (for what was probably the 50th time), and was huddled under a makeship blanket fort like a child and scrolling through reddit. Don’t be mistaken though, Jeon Jungkook was definitely a partier, but he also knew when he needed to give his head (and liver) a break.

He saw his phone chime with a gmail notification. He took a brief scroll through the articles you had sent over to him (those were definitely work for another day since there was no way he could digest academic jargon without at least 3 cups of coffee in him), but he was pleasantly surprised with what you had come up with.

At the same time, the Facebook tab he had open on his Macbook also lit up.

It’s Y/N L/N’s birthday today! Leave a message on her wall to celebrate!

Jungkook’s jaw dropped.

It was your birthday and you were sending him chemistry research papers?? Jungkook chuckled because he could already think of 1000 bad jokes to make fun of you, but he also felt some other feeling that he couldn’t quite place.

Jungkook’s mother had always taught him that it was important to celebrate birthdays, and that is was bad luck that it was He wasn’t sure if it was just a farce that his mother had come up with to make sure that he still attended those family-wide facetime birthday celebrations once he went to college, but either way, he still believed it to some extent.

He had no clue why he was doing this, or how he even got here, but somehow Jungkook found himself in sweatpants and a hoodie in front of your apartment door at 10pm on a Friday night, cake in tow in one hand, his other hand out ready to knock on your door.

On the other side of the door, you were equally astonished. It almost felt like you were seeing a hallucination, as if your email to Jungkook had somehow summoned him to your door. You couldn’t help but rub your eyes in disbelief, just to make sure he was actually there.

“Jungkook?”

Bashful Jungkook seemed to make an appearance again as he tapped his feet in anxiety. And before he could stop himself, words were already tumbling from his mouth”

“Happy birthday?” he said as a question , posing it as if he didn’t know whether facebook was just playing a prank on him (which he honestly didn’t know). “Can I come in?”

You didn’t even really know how to process this situation, but all you could mutter was a “uh, thank you?” in a similar inquirable tone and gesture for him to step into your apartment. If Jeon Jungkook showed up at your door at 10pm on a Friday night, he probably deserved to be heard out.

“You can make yourself comfortable on the couch. Sorry, I wasn’t expecting company otherwise I would have cleaned up a bit.” You were sure that Jungkook’s neat freak brain was probably frying itself into overdrive based on the empty now-empty pizza box sitting on your coffee table and stray utensils and crumbs on your kitchen counter. You felt a little embarrassed that he had to see this.

Mirroring Jungkook’s hospitality last time you were at his place, you brought him a glass of water and hoped that this evening would go a LOT better than the last time you and Jungkook were alone together in an apartment.

Jungkook’s cake was still held in his hands. It was a little cake from the 24/7 cafe on campus; he could only find one that said “happy” with little sunflowers and smiles, so hopefully the “birthday” part of it was implied.

“I, um, I brought cake - for you. I mean your birthday.”

You sat down across from him.

“Oh you didn’t have to Jungkook, uh that’s really nice but you didn’t have to do that,” you said as you leaned further away from the cake, as if it was an item that scared you. “I’m not big on birthdays anyways, just usually me chilling in my apartment!”

However, Jungkook was not planning on taking no as an answer. He tried his best to plead with you, but was still getting nowhere.

“you… you have to do it for my mom!” he said as he thrust the cake even closer to your face.

You tilted your head in confusion at his statement.

“I mean uh-, my mom says that it’s bad luck if you don’t blow out candles on cake on your birthday and that if you don’t do it then you won’t live to your next birthday. And um- i know we’re not friends Y/N but I’d rather see you alive next year”.

Jungkook tried to look as nonchalant and cool as possible, and when he realized his statement was a little too thoughtful he followed it up with a “i mean you could do whatever you want i don’t care it doesn’t matter to me”.

You were beginning to like this side of Jungkook, the one that was more thoughtful than he was a selfish, inconsiderate dude.

Taking the cake softly from his hands, you muttered a soft “thank you”. At this point Jungkook didn’t know whether you took it from his hands to throw it on the ground or actually use it for its intended purpose. As you leaned over to grab the lighter by your candles on your coffee table, Jungkook let out a breath of relief.

Throwing open the cake box, you lit the candle in the cake and stared patiently in front of it.

“Well Jungkook, I believe if I am going to be blowing out candles there should be singing too, no?” You joked with a silly smile on your face.

Knowing he had no way out of this (and to be honest, he secretly wanted to anyways), he began to sing.

You had never heard a more beautiful rendition of happy birthday in your life. Jungkook turned the most mundane song, one that you didn’t have many happy memories with, into a tune that made your heart start to swell with joy. You wished the song was longer, because as he stopped to sing you wanted nothing more than for him to keep going.

“Make a wish, Y/N” , he whispered.

You didn’t know what to wish for. There were a lot of things that needed to be fixed in the world, and lots of things that you needed too (like a new toothbrush, or the experience of true love). It seemed fitting that since you were only blowing out these candles because of Jungkook, you should at least dedicate the wish to him. So all you wished for was for you and Jungkook to get along just like you were in this moment.

You looked up at Jungkook from the cake, and from there all you could say was a sincere “thank you”.

The moment was all too sincere, and you and Jungkook could feel the atmosphere shift to one that was all too intimate and friendly for your relationship. As moving away from a hot flame, you both picked up your phones and mumbled excuses to move away from the situation.

Jungkook was the first to break the ice again.

“I don’t know how good this cake is going to be, the expiry date was at least a week and a half ago”

“Well Jeon Jungkook, if you brought an expired cake into my apartment, it feels like a right of passage that you have to try this cake with me.”

You couldn’t stop yourself from picking up a piece of cake on a fork and shoving it into his mouth. Immediately, his face scrounged up in disgust, and you could pretty much see him gag.

“That cream is… very creamy to stay the least,” he said as he thickly swallowed it down, grimacing the whole time.

His expression made you chuckle. There was something about the way his naturally fluffy hair seemed to move as he swayed like a piece of seaweed on your couch (a mannerism that you had picked up on quite quickly), that made you feel warm inside.

“Considering me sacrificing myself to this cake as a birthday present to you, Y/N”

The laugh that bubbled out of your chest almost made that gross cake worth it to Jungkook. And some words of sincerity slipped out before you could hold them in.

“Best birthday present ever, Jungkook, thank you.

--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡--

Taglist: @apollukee , @mrcleanheichou , @monvieesdaebak

If you want to be tagged, please send me an ask!

If you liked what you read, please interact/follow! Thank you for reading♡

- Emily

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notanacousticsetcal · 4 years ago

Text

betty - calum hood

summary - a story based off of the song betty by taylor swift -- one of my absolute favorites from folklore and the most beautiful little story :) (y/n) in the role of the icon betty.

warnings - cheating

word count - 3k ish

mood board

a/n - check out the other 3 installments of the song series too! this piece is kind of out of the blue because I actually started it and finished it today which is extremely rare for me but I actually really like how it turned out. hope you guys do too. :) (def listen to this song -- its amazing). (btw this isnt the calum fic i was referencing in one of my previous posts, that one is still in the works.)

Betty, I won't make assumptions about why you switched your homeroom, but I think it's 'cause of me.

Calum sat in the back row, staring at Missy Grenshaw’s head feeling the hole in his chest grow larger. He glanced at your empty seat and frowned, his eyebrows scrunched together.

He heard Mrs. Martin start attendance and when she skipped over your name, the hole grew impossibly larger.

Calum tried to convince himself you switched because Mrs. Martin was a hard grader, but he knew that wasn’t the real reason.

He knew it was because you couldn’t stand to see his face.

Betty, one time I was riding on my skateboard when I passed your house. It's like I couldn't breathe.

Calum listened to the sound of a distant lawn mower and the rustling leaves and inhaled the smell of someone barbecuing in their backyard, trying to calm himself. He almost turned around and went home, his stomach grumbling at the idea of dinner waiting for him on the dining room table, but he didn’t.

He was only a block away from your house now. He pretended like he was riding down your street because it had the smoothest road, but Calum couldn’t lie to himself. Just knowing your room was in that house and knowing you might be sitting on your bed was enough to draw Calum near.

He didn’t let himself stop in front of the brick fronted modest house, but he wanted to. His legs ached as he kept pushing. He secretly hoped the sound of his wheels would draw you to the window. He held his breath in anticipation, but nothing. Not even a subtle shift in the curtains.

You heard the rumors from Inez. You can't believe a word she says most times, but this time it was true. The worst thing that I ever did was what I did to you.

“(Y/n)!” A familiar voice chirped from behind you. You turned on your heel to face your friend, Inez. She was your source of gossip always, even if it was almost always speculation and barely ever accurate.

You weren’t expecting her sad features -- it alarmed you. “Are you alright, Inez? What happened?” You linked arms with her as you continued forward, heading for first period.

She nodded softly. “You aren’t going to want to hear this, (y/n).”

But if I just showed up at your party, would you have me? Would you want me? Would you tell me to go fuck myself or lead me to the garden? In the garden would you trust me if I told you it was just a summer thing? I'm only seventeen, I don't know anything but I know I miss you.

Calum tossed the tennis ball up and caught it. He laid on his bed, absentmindedly continuing to toss the ball up and down, his mind plagued with thoughts about you.

Your birthday was a week away. Calum let his mind wander off in endless possibilities.

He knew how much he had hurt you and the guilt ate at him constantly. A day didn’t go by that he didn’t beat himself up for being so stupid.

Nothing was worth more to him than your happiness and he knew that now. He would do anything in his power to fix what he broke, if you’d let him.

He wondered how you would react if he showed up on your doorstep that evening, a bundle of flowers in hand and an apologetic smile on his face.

He wondered if you’d slam the door in his face and ignore his knocks and desperate pleas.

Or if you’d hesitantly let him come inside, your guard up, and lead him to the garden to talk alone. If you’d let him ramble on about how stupid he was. About how badly he messed up.

About how much he fucking missed you.

Your soft smile and your positive, bright disposition and your generosity and selflessness. The way your eyes squinted when you laughed and the way your hair smelled.

Calum really fucking missed you.

But he knew he didn’t really deserve a second chance. And he was asking a lot begging for one. But he thought he at least had to try.

Or this mistake would haunt him for the rest of his life.

Betty, I know where it all went wrong, your favorite song was playing from the far side of the gym. I was nowhere to be found, I hate the crowds, you know that. Plus, I saw you dance with him.

Calum walked into the school alongside you, your hand in his and a bright smile on your face. You loved dances and seeing all your friends dressed up -- Calum felt claustrophobic, but he would do anything to keep that smile on your face, so he tagged along anyway.

Immediately, you tugged him towards the dance floor and he followed hesitantly. After only a few moments on the dance floor, Calum excused himself to the sidelines. He watched your expression fall, but you understood. You would never pressure him into anything he was uncomfortable with.

Calum felt like he could finally breathe properly from the edges of the gym.

He watched solemnly as the DJ began to play your favorite song. Your features lit up and Calum couldn’t help but smile, too. He wished he could go in there and dance with you but just the thought of being squished in between so many people made his pulse speed up and his palms sweaty.

He watched Dean approach you, clearly nervous, and his hands turned to fists. Calum had half a mind to go over there and punch him square in the face.

Calum knew he couldn’t do that, but he had fun imagining it.

Dean grabbed your waist, pulling you close, and Calum’s heart practically stopped.

He couldn’t take anymore, so with one last glance at your soft smile, Calum stalked off in an angry blur.

Calum knew if he had just asked, you would’ve reassured him it was only a dance.

Calum knew if he had just asked, everything wouldn’t have gone the way it did.

I was walking home on broken cobblestones just thinking of you when she pulled up like a figment of my worst intentions. She said "James, get in, let's drive,” those days turned into nights. Slept next to her but I dreamt of you all summer long.

The sun beat down on Calum’s back and he couldn’t wait to get home. He’d run out of water long ago, riding his skateboard in the early summer heat.

He stumbled home, skipping happily over cracks in the concrete, skateboard in hand.

He thought about seeing you after dinner. Taking you to your favorite tree and watching the stars. Or… looking at you while you looked at the stars. He thought about the way you danced with Dean. He still hadn’t told you how much it bothered him so he just let the resentment boil up until it stung the back of his throat.

Calum heard tires screech next to him, a familiar face in the driver's seat. Her red lipstick shimmered in the direct sunlight. Her sunglasses reflected Calum’s awestruck face.

“Calum, get in. Lets drive,” She said. Her lips quirked up into an inviting smile and Calum swayed hesitantly. “Aw, come on. I’ll drive you home.”

Calum looked around at the neighborhood once more, checking for witnesses, and then finally climbed into the silver convertible. As soon as he got in, his heart fluttered with guilt. His eyes filled with images of you, hurting, and he almost got out. Almost.

There was Dean again, haunting Calum through memories, smiling down at you, holding you. Calum gripped his skateboard harder, his knuckles growing white.

Her voice was so inviting and her car smelled so nice. The air conditioning hit Calum’s warm skin and soothed it instantly. Calum stayed.

Calum didn’t just stay, though. He could’ve forgiven himself for that.

Betty, I'm here on your doorstep and I planned it out for weeks now but It's finally sinking in. Betty, right now is the last time I can dream about what happens when you see my face again. The only thing I wanna do is make it up to you.

Calum tossed and turned in his sleep, getting more and more frustrated with the nerves. He would face you tomorrow. It would determine the outcome of everything he had been wondering and worrying about for weeks.

Tomorrow meant everything. He had one last night to drift into dreams about how you might react. The forgiveness or resentment. The smile or the tears. The hug or the shove.

He drifted to sleep with images of you playing in his mind. In your favorite sweater, his hand in yours.

Calum hoped with everything in him that you could see past his stupid mistake. But he prepared himself for the worst. You didn’t owe him anything.

So, I showed up at your party. Yeah, I showed up at your party. Yeah, I showed up at your party. Will you have me? Will you love me? Will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends? If you kiss me, will it be just like I dreamed it? Will it patch your broken wings? I'm only seventeen. I don't know anything, but I know I miss you.

Calum straightened out his button down and shifted the flowers, watching a few stray petals fall loose and hit the pavement of your porch. He cleared his throat and listened anxiously while his heart pounded ferociously in his ear.

He could faintly hear commotion from within the confines of your home but he couldn’t make out anything they were saying.

His shaky hand extended towards the dark wood door and he knocked twice.

Cars were parked a block or two down the street -- all of your friends had already arrived.

Calum could lie and say he meant to be the last person, but in reality, he sat in his car for 30 minutes gathering up the nerve to come over there.

He could see multicolored balloons lining the walls inside. He watched as a figure appeared through the window, the tint making the figure only a silhouette.

The door began to open and Calum thought for a moment about running, but it was too late. Before he knew it, he was face to face with you again. For the first time in 2 months, you were looking at him and he was looking at you.

He watched as confusion and shock filled your eyes, and then disappeared, filling with pure curiosity. He didn’t notice any anger yet.

“Calum?” Your voice was like sugar. Calum’s knees felt weak.

“Yeah, hi (y/n).” Calum coughed. “Happy birthday.”

There were a million things Calum wanted to say and that wasn’t necessarily at the top of his list. He mentally face palmed. Your eyebrows knit together. “Thank you?” You looked down at the bouquet of flowers in his hand. “Are those for me?”

Calum looked down at the flower he almost forgot he was holding, too lost in your eyes to care about anything else. “Oh, yes. Yeah.” He stumbled, holding them out to you.

You took them without a word.

“So um…” Calum started, wringing out his sweaty hands. “I was hoping I could talk to you for a minute.”

You turned around for a moment towards the chatter coming from the kitchen and then turned back to face him with a sigh. “Why should I say yes?” You didn’t look angry… just tired.

Calum scratched the back of his neck anxiously. “You don’t owe me anything, I know that. I was hoping to apologize, if you’d let me. I know that I’m the biggest idiot on the planet and I broke your heart and there's no way I can go back and undo that, but I owe it to you to at least try to fix what I broke. You don’t have to let me, though. I wouldn’t be mad if you cursed me out or slapped me or slammed the door in my face. I deserve it. I hurt you, and I suck for that.” He took a deep breath staring at the ground.

Your eyes softened and you sighed. “Come on.” You grabbed Calum’s hand and tugged him into the house, shutting the door softly behind him.

Calum followed your lead as you stepped through the back door into the garden.

You’d planted more of the flowers you told him about months ago and Calum thought your vision was really coming to life. You pulled him to a small metal table in the corner and sat down.

Calum looked around again, taking in all you’d accomplished since you two last spoke. “It looks beautiful, (y/n).”

You sighed, proudly admiring the shrubs and greenery that surrounded you. “I needed something to take my mind off things so I kind of poured my soul into it.” You fiddled with your rings.

Calum knew he was what you needed to take your mind off of and that made him feel even worse. “What I did to you… it was unforgivable. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever done. I betrayed your trust and I hurt you in the worst way imaginable. That girl… it was nothing. It meant nothing.”

Calum watched you carefully as you took this in. Again, you didn’t look angry or sad — just emotionally drained. Numb. “I just… I guess I kinda just wanna know why. Was I… was I not enough?” Calum watched the tears well up that threatened to spill over and down your rosy cheeks.

He shook his head instantly. “No, no. Of course not. I spent a lot of time thinking about it because at first I didn’t even know. But I think I was just… jealous.”

You scoffed. “Jealous?” Calum blushed. “But of who?”

Calum inhaled deeply, prepared to completely embarrass himself. If it meant getting back on good terms with you. “Dean,” he muttered.

You couldn’t help but laugh. And not just chuckle — really laugh. “Dean? Dean Marshall. You were jealous of Dean Marshall?” You put a hand over your mouth to stifle the laughter. It felt nice to laugh after so many weeks of pain.

Calum rolled his eyes playfully. “Yes, Dean Marshall. When he danced with you at the formal I was pissed.”

You stopped laughing, seeing the hurt in Calum’s soft features.

“You didn’t really think I was interested in him?... Did you?” You asked.

Calum looked down, playing with a loose thread on his trousers.

You let out a heavy sigh. “Oh, Cal. I never had any feelings for Dean.”

“Deep down, I did know that. It was some petty revenge thing in my head. I should’ve just voiced my pain and I know you would’ve reassured me. I was so dumb. I’ve never regretted anything so much in my life.” Calum finished with an exasperated breath and you smiled at his passion.

“Do you want to come in for cake, Cal?”

Calum’s eyes shot up to read your face. You couldn’t be serious. You laughed at his eagerness and joy. “I would love to come in for cake,” Calum said easily.

You grabbed his hand, guiding him towards the back door and inside.

You ignored the series of gasps from your unsuspecting friends and found Calum a seat around the table. Nobody asked questions. They just smiled. If you were happy and safe, then they were happy too.

After some time, the sun was nearing the horizon and friends were bidding their goodbyes.

Calum hadn’t taken his eyes off you all night.

Your stomach tingled in anticipation whenever you caught his gaze.

Calum got a text from his mom saying she needed him home, so he begrudgingly headed for the door, his hand in yours.

“Happy birthday, again,” he whispered in your ear.

“Thank you for coming today. It must’ve taken a lot of guts.” You laughed at Calum’s expression.

“You have no idea. But I'm so glad I did it.” He looked down at you fondly and you felt as if your knees might give out.

Before you could stop and think about the consequences, you were leaning closer and so was he.

Your noses barely brushed and the air around you was heating. It felt like everything between you two was leading up to this very moment — this very kiss.

He stooped down a little lower, pressing his lips gently onto yours. You felt a rush of emotions. You had missed him all this time. You felt ready to try again - slowly building a mutual trust between you two again.

His lips folded over yours at a steady pace. It was soft and not rushed. It was perfect.

When he pulled away, your lips tingled at the absence of his.

You were startled by the sudden applause.

You friends had gathered in the hall and watched the entire thing. You hid your face in Calum’s shoulder.

Standing in your cardigan. Kissing in my car again. Stopped at a streetlight, you know I miss you.

You slipped into Calum’s car and he smiled fondly. He hadn’t been this happy in so long.

You grabbed his sweater -- the one that had once been yours -- and felt it between your fingers. “You still have this old thing?”

He smiled, his cheeks glowing a faint pink. He looked adorable with his curls tumbling down across his forehead. “It smells like you.”

You planted a gentle kiss on his cheek.

He had missed you. But he didn’t have to anymore.

86 notes · View notes

goodheartedfool · 3 years ago

Text

I posted 296 times in 2021

103 posts created (35%)

193 posts reblogged (65%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 1.9 posts.

I added 205 tags in 2021

#musings - 30 posts

#ooc - 25 posts

#aesthetics - 25 posts

#on phone - 22 posts

#meme - 21 posts

#goldentemplariumcrow - 18 posts

#the turnip || ooc - 17 posts

#v: dc - 17 posts

#v: marvel - 16 posts

#headcanon - 14 posts

Longest Tag: 102 characters

#[if you don't know what to do with it we can always drop this and start something else if you want to]

My Top Posts in 2021

I wish there was more AC rpers that weren’t stuck up elitists. They rp Assassins but act more like stereotypical Templars imho.

Thankfully, I know two who are nice people in this rpc.

6 notes • Posted 2021-02-12 22:42:15 GMT

Closed || Fake date

Nat had been followed. Followed by this guy that did not take no for an answer. In his desperation, Nat had said he was waiting for his date, which he wasn't. The obnoxious guy had begun to lose his patience, eyeing him in a way Nat didn't like. In a try to escape him, he'd left the place. Trying to sneak out, but he had followed. Fuck. As he walked, his gaze roamed after someone he could seek help from, but no one looked promising. Feeling the guy getting closer, Nat finally saw someone that felt right.

"Hey, sorry I misunderstood the meeting place," he called out, giving the man he had approached a quick peck on the cheek while whispering. "Please play along." Nat just hoped this man wouldn't be offended, but instead actually help him.

7 notes • Posted 2021-07-07 02:31:01 GMT

Please unfollow me if:

You support gatekeeping in the rp community. Yes, I do get why, but I think rping can be a good way to learn about something: a culture, disability etc. As long as you research and that you accept friendly advise from people in that group, I don't see anything wrong with rping a muse belonging to something you don't. If you don't like what you see, just unfollow/block. Tbh, I think gatekeeping will always do more harm than good in the long run. And yes, I belong to several minority groups myself that are frequently misrepresented when shown in media.

You tell people who they can or can't rp with. I understand that people can get hurt, but that's what the block function is for. Telling people to not interact with someone just because of your own experience is both illogical and selfish.

You bash on people for liking/disliking a specific character. We all have different taste and that's fine, but being rude towards someone else because they don't feel the same about a character as you do is just stupid and immature.

You guilt trip people for something they like to rp. As long as you tag sensitive or generally viewed as disturbing topics, rp whatever you want. You're not a bad person for wanting to rp 'forbidden' topics.

All in all, if you're one of those who feel the need to vent your dislike to the mun rping whatever it is you dislike, instead of just unfollow/block quietly, I'm not the right rp partner for you.

8 notes • Posted 2021-07-09 05:36:10 GMT

Cont. from [x] with @mr007pennyworth

“Okay, Sir.” Nat confirmed and once the gate was unlocked for him to enter, he hurried up to the house and the front door. The place looked so neat and clean that he had to pause inside the door to remove his shoes. There was no way he’d walk inside with them. He left the jacket there too, not generally liking to enter people’s homes off hours in his work clothes, but this place made it feel almost sacrilege to do so. Though he was glad for the open floorplan, otherwise he might never have found the kitchen.

“Mr. Pennyworth. I wish we met during better circumstances, Jason speaks very highly of you,” Nat greeted, giving the older man a small smile, even if it couldn’t chase away the worry in his eyes. “I’m sorry to just drop by like this, but i didn’t know where else to go. I know he sometimes...ehm... get in trouble and sometimes just needs some time off. I thought if that was the case, you might know and if he’s in trouble, well the quicker we can start looking for him, the quicker we can find him.” And the more likely he were to still be alive.

10 notes • Posted 2021-08-26 22:14:09 GMT

Relationships

Thought I might do a little update about Nat’s different relationships. I won’t mention all of them, but the ones that are the most important to him. If your muse isn’t mentioned, it doesn’t mean that Nat (or me) doesn’t like them, but not all relationships can be deep/special.

ROMANTIC

Nathanael’s most prominent romantic relationship is with Dionisus Rosali ( @goldentemplariumcrow ) and Jason Todd ( @rxsurrxcted ). Yes, they’re a throuple and very happy together, except when certain people decide to try and die and a certain other person has to drag them back to life.

However, his oldest romantic relationship is in his Star Trek verse with fellow medical personnel Isiah Knight ( @whydotheykeeptakingmine ).

MAYBE ROMANTIC

Feelings are starting to brew for Oliver Queen ( @thegreenxrcher ). Ollie is a charming and interesting person, though Nat wish he could be a little bit more careful. It would be nice to patch him up a little less frequently (which is not gonna happen and Nat knows that).

PLATONIC

There isn’t anything he wouldn’t do for his friend Ella Doe ( @thewonderingsorceress ). She might think he’s a way too cheerful pain in the ass, but they both know that she too cares about him.

Bucky Barnes ( @weaponizedembrace ) helped him through a really rough part of his life. Though Bucky would probably claim Nat was the one who started the helping. Despite that Bucky is considerably more durable than Nat, he’d throw himself in front of any thread towards his friend.

And that’s it. These are the relationships Nat finds the most important. Some of them are more active than others. Some were brief and some mostly happens outside of Tumblr, but they are all relationships that have made great impact on him as a person.

12 notes • Posted 2021-07-12 15:46:36 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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gemmassong · 4 years ago

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So uh. It’s 4:17am and I know literally no one cares but I just finished watching Bo Burnham’s new special and like, holy shit. I have some Feelings. And this is my fucking tumblr so unfortunately anyone who follows me can and will be subjected to those Feelings. Apologies in advance. I blame my high school English teacher for this, who I had for freshmen, junior, and senior year, because that cunt made as analyze and pick apart not just books but documentaries, movies, and other pieces of media to such an extreme degree I still blame her for a lot of my academic burnout and inability to really engage with my college courses because what was the fucking point. If I could write the best paper in the class and still not get a full score when my classmates with less well written shit did because I ‘wasn’t reaching my full potential or putting in as much effort as required’ why should I bother.

Off topic. I’ll put the rest under a cut to be vaguely courteous because this is going to be a lot of semi-organized rambling that I’m putting here mostly so I can stare at it in baffled, disgusted horror at ~2pm tomorrow when I go back and reread it. And then decide not to delete it anyway because hey, I don’t delete anything because I enjoy tormenting myself years down the road.

I grew up with Bo Burnham, yeah? I knew all the lyrics to New Math when I was in middle school and you can bet your ass I understood like, four verses at the time I first started singing it. And I remember the vivid pleasure of going through high school and hating math because I suck at it (ayooo failed out of Calc senior year first semester~ (they weren’t called semesters in hs they were some quarterly thing but I don’t fucking remember the right term)) and the absolute joy realizing how one of those verses were clever was brought me. Like, every time I understood a new verse in New Math it made my entire day so much better.

And then the summer after my first year of college I, for some fucking reason I cannot fathom now, 20 year old me thought it was a brilliant idea to decide to watch What. with my parents while we ate dinner. I had seen What. before. I knew what the contents entailed. I was apparently 100% down to watch him pretend to jack off on stage while eating taco salad in the living room with both of my parents who were so closed mouthed about sex that I got literally my entire sexual education from fanfiction.

And then my cat had a seizure literally right before that scene so fate helped me escape that hell for some reason, and yes, Siren was fine after a very scary night.

But like. Still. What the fuck, 20 year old me. Why did you set yourself up for the mortifying experience of watching a comedian mime jacking off while sitting next to your mother. Why.

So anyway. Bo Burnham was peripherally a part of my life for a very long time. I’ve always really liked him. I wish he had made more vines while vine was still a thing because the ‘is there anything better than pussy’ one still cracks me tf up.

I saw a post here at some point about how the new special made someone feel like they’d just watched his suicide note. And I didn’t take it seriously, because yeah, Make Happy got kinda serious and stressful there at the end but like?

Maaaaan am I glad I watched Inside though, despite being vaguely concerned. I totally get where that person was coming from. It does kinda feel like that. At the same time though, I just have this feeling that Inside is going to be important.

Here’s where I finally get to the actual fucking point of the post.

Collectively, entertainment media is desperately trying right now to figure out how the hell to handle the pandemic. Ignore it? Pretend all media now exists in a universe where the shitstorm of 2020 didn’t exist? Most of the ones that I’ve seen have gone down what I consider the absolute worst route, which is of course terrible fucking writing that kind of? addresses the pandemic and shit that went down, but like, with clunky dialogue and really bad jokes. I’m mostly talking about the Roseanne spinoff/sequel/whatever the fuck it’s considered, of which I watched half an episode of and then silently begged my fiance to let us leave his mother’s house because she was laughing at it and it was genuinely, horrifically painful. This is why I don’t watch tv anymore.

ANYWAY. He never mentions it. Not once. There are plenty of really relevant things discussed and pointed out and I think one? mention of the actual year 2020 but beyond that. Nothing. And I feel like Inside might be one of the most genuine, visceral, real pieces of media portraying the pandemic that we, as an American society anyway, are going to come away from this all with. At least everyone in my own admittedly piss poor social circles has spent like last ~year and a half doing that social media thing where the more you post about how well you’re doing and great it all is, the more miserable and bad off you really are.

(Yes, that is how I judge my ‘friends’’ relationships on facebook. The more pictures/posts/tagged shit/social media demonstrations of how ~amazing~ and ~in love~ and ~perfect~ everything is, the worse I assume the reality is.)

But Inside strikes as very, very real. And I just feel like 20 30 40 50 years from now, when we’re talking about the 2020 pandemic and how it shaped and shifted and effected and destroyed people and society, it’s going to be a very important piece of media. Because so far, anyway, it’s the first one I’ve seen where you can actually see it all go down. The absolute fucking breakdown so many of us went through. Dealing with worsening mental problems that had previously been getting better, lost progress, ruined plans and dreams and missed opportunities and everything else.

It’s the first one that strikes as real, I guess. As not manufactured. Not tailored to portray the ‘correct’ message. Not diminishing or exaggerating anything but just... showing. Existing within the reality of the year. And not being apologetic or ashamed about it.

I’m glad he actually went through with putting it out into the world. That probably took a whole lot to do, and I hope good things get to him for going through with it all. For completing it and giving it to the world. It was visceral and raw to watch and my piss poor attention span that needs 20+ tabs open at all times actually sat there and watched it, in full, all the way through in one go. Without pausing to read a fic, watch something else, check facebook or tumblr, answer a roleplay, or skim through omegle to see if anyone good was online. That’s like, unheard of these days.

I just. I dunno. There’s a lot there to breakdown. A part of me wants to do it, take the time and write the analysis and the breakdowns and pick out what I think the important bits are. But I hate doing that now and I’m sure the desire will be gone come afternoon-morning, along with all these weird feelings about it.

This has gotten long enough and it’s 4:47 now, so half an hour of word vomiting into a tumblr post is probably too much. So I guess I’ll call it quits and maybe maybe not delete this when I wake up. Night, anyone who actually suffered through reading this mess.

#Maddie talks #Weird thoughts mostly #Don't expect anyone to actually read but hey #that's not what this blog is there for so why not word vomit just for my future self

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dramioneficrecommendations · 5 years ago

Note

Hiii I accidentally jumped in dramione fandom, and I'm looking for good stuff for this weekend. Could pls tell me your 5 (or more)favorite dramione fics ever? Thanks!

I hope you like it here and stay with us… forever. LOL (Honestly, we have the best fics and authors in the entire HP fandom.)

Here are some of my all-time favourite Dramione fics (you can also check out my fic rec tag):

Revert by SUPRNTRAL LVR: Six months post-war, Malfoy is in serious trouble. He’s on the run from the Ministry, Death Eaters, and a deadly curse which is eating him alive. When he hits rock bottom, a change in fortune lands him in 12 Grimmauld Place under the Ministry’s custody - and forces Hermione to remember the secrets they’ve both kept for years. Dramione, Sick!Draco, flashbacks to Hogwarts, hurt. Rated: M - Chapters: 24 - Words: 260,266

Manacled by SenLinYu: Harry Potter is dead. In the aftermath of the war, in order to strengthen the might of the magical world, Voldemort enacts a repopulation effort. Hermione Granger has an Order secret locked away in her mind. She is sent as an enslaved surrogate to the High Reeve, to be bred and monitored until it can be accessed. COMPLETE. Rated: M - Chapters: 77 - Words: 384,000

Isolation by Bex-chan: He can’t leave the room. Her room. And it’s all the Order’s fault. Confined to a small space with only the Mudblood for company, something’s going to give. Maybe his sanity. Maybe not. “There,” she spat. “Now your Blood’s filthy too!” DM/HG. PostHBP. Now complete with epilogue. Rated: M - Chapters: 49 - Words: 284,050

Five Days by RavieSnake: No one knows that they are missing. No one knows where they are. No one knows that they are trapped. No one knows that they are dying. Dramione. WINNER for Best Drama/Angst and Best Tragedy in the Winter 2017 Dramione Fanfiction Awards! Rated: M - Chapters: 14 - Words: 32,001

Aurelian by BittyBlueEyes: Two years after the war, a young stranger pays a visit to the burrow. His arrival alone is baffling, but the news he brings of an upcoming war turns the world upside down. Hermione’s quiet, post-war life will never be the same. Rated: T - Chapters: 43 - Words: 270,571

The Politician’s Wife by pir8fancier: Hermione hates Draco in the springtime, Hermione hates Draco in the fall, Hermione hates Draco 247. Rated: M - Chapters: 14 - Words: 68,629

The Revenant by atalanta84: Sometimes fate brings us far from home, and sometimes it brings us back again. When a friend’s mysterious death causes Draco Malfoy to return to Britain, he is finally forced to face his past, and the love he left behind. A story about second chances. Rated: M - Chapters: 10 - Words: 67,866

The Fool, the Emperor, and the Hanged Man by ianthewaiting: Ten years after the fall of the Dark Lord, Hermione Granger leads of life of self-imposed obscurity, that is, until the day Headmistress Minerva McGonagall is murdered and a certain ‘hero’ is responsible. DM/HG, written originally in 2007-2008, and finally making its debut here! AU, DH-EWE, non-canon elements, time travel, character death, etc. Rated: M - Chapters: 28 - Words: 229,334

The Dragon’s Bride by Rizzle: 7th year. Draco & Hermione awaken in a Muggle hotel room, naked, hung-over and tattooed. They also happen to be married. Thus begin a desperate search for a solution to their sticky situation. Rated: M - Chapters: 61 - Words: 225,164

The Eagle’s Nest by HeartOfAspen: COMPLETE: Hermione’s eighth year at Hogwarts is already going to be difficult in the aftermath of the war, but it is further thrown into upheaval when Headmistress McGonagall orders a re-sorting of all students to promote inter-house unity. But when the Sorting Hat sends Hermione to Ravenclaw with Draco - and without Harry or Ron, how will she cope? [AU/Dramione] Prevalent alchemy. Rated: M - Chapters: 70 - Words: 306,322

Thirteenth Night by Nelpher: When Hermione is assigned to keep tabs on a memory-charmed Draco, she is faced with a decision that could change her life forever. Rated: M - Words: 77,997 Chapters: 23

Ordinary People by inadaze22: “Let me be clear about something tonight, Granger. You’re the only woman I’ve ever wanted. It’s always been you.” Draco steps in the fireplace, drops the Floo powder, and disappears in a burst of green flames. Rated: M - Chapters: 18 - Words: 133,759

This, Too, Is Sacred by HeartOfAspen: COMPLETE: An ancient power has required generations of purebloods to pledge their lives to the blood pact. Draco has long known he was born to uphold this tradition… but Hermione’s parents have secrets, hidden details about her heritage, and soon it will be her turn to cast in with fate. [Dramione AU] Fantastic cover art by Witches-Britches. Rated: M - Chapters: 23 - Words: 90,994

Gravity by luckei1: It’s about arranging stacks of books, wall colours, and jumping off a cliff. Draco/Hermione Rated: T - Chapters: 10 - Words: 87,155

Dystopia (new version) by Rizzle: Kidnapped and expecting to be abandoned to his fate, Draco Malfoy writes a personal account of recent life, love and loss after the end of the Second Wizarding War. His story encompasses two unforgivable acts, a wedding, a divorce, a kidnapping and maybe, just maybe…a rescue. Rated: M - Chapters: 15 - Words: 19,885

A Slow Cruel Descent by SenLinYu: The war grinds on and Hermione Granger is captured. Unable to crack her through interrogation without risking her mind, Voldemort conceives a cruel method of breaking her that involves Draco Malfoy. “He stared at her in disgust. She looked— broken. The fire she’d still had when she was dragged in was now extinguished. Her eyes were locked on his face like she were memorizing him.” Rated: M - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,687 (Sequel: A Fragile Ascent)

Heavy Lies the Crown by luckei1: For seven years, Draco has carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, and just when he thinks he’ll be released, something happens that will make him seek help from the last person he could have imagined. Rated: M - Chapters: 36 - Words: 289,967

To Wear a Dragon’s Skin by creativelymundane: When Bellatrix Lestrange takes control of the wizarding world after the demise of Voldemort, the remnants of the Order keep fighting. Seven years later, Draco brings Hermione a piece of magic that might be the key to finally ending the war. Together they will destroy Bellatrix Lestrange or die trying. Violence, Implicit Rape, Sexual Situations. Rated: M - Chapters: 26 - Words: 137,484

A Pound of Flesh by PennilynNovus: One night at a strip club, Hermione is faced with someone from her past, and an opportunity too good to pass up. What starts as revenge quickly grows into something else, and she may find it to be more than she can handle. Limes, Lemons, M. Rated: NC-17 - Chapters: 33

A Wonderful Caricature of Intimacy by Countess of Abe: Draco loves his son more than anything in the world. So, when his ex-wife plans to take his son away, Draco asks the most unlikely person for help. Hermione must decide whether changing her entire life is worth helping the man she hates unconditionally. Rated: M - Chapters: 25 - Words: 136,998

Apple Pies and Other Amends by ToEatAPeach: “It’s a veritable PTSD tour. With pastries. And hand-skimmed clotted cream. And Hermione has no idea why she’s doing it, but it’s becoming very apparent that she is.” Sometimes you’re sad. Sometimes you need dessert. And sometimes, it’s a little of both. [COMPLETE, DRAMIONE] Rated: M - Chapters: 30 - Words: 80,226

Fairy Stone by Colubrina: Draco is sentenced to one year in Azkaban, release contingent upon someone willing to vouch for his good behavior. Hermione does. “Oh, I want you,” he said. “You, just you, always you. You forever and you for always and you until the bloody sun explodes.” Dramione. COMPLETE. Rated: M - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,827

The Mountain and The Sea by Alexis.Danaan: Hermione Granger was perfectly happy with her life, her job as a Healer Trainee, her ugly cat and her cute little house in the countryside. And then Draco Malfoy had to go and mess that all up, typical git. Post-Hogwarts, EWE, OOC, creature!fic. 18 Rated: M - Chapters: 12 - Words: 43,464

Celestial Navigation by phlox: Lost, without direction, unable to find your way home? Coming soon, a new Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes Ekeltronic to guide you on your journey! *Your mileage may vary.*Rated: T - Chapters: 3 - Words: 13,640

Waiting Room by Nelpher: A series of encounters with Draco Malfoy in the waiting room at St. Mungo’s teaches Hermione about love, friendship, and the intersection thereof. Rated: T - English Words: 61,418 Chapters: 14

Voices by Kyonomiko: Hermione has long accepted she might not make it through the war alive, but after years on the battlefield, she never expected to be at the mercy of Draco Malfoy. Not untouched by his own experiences, his manic behavior leaves her living in constant fear of the unknown, suffering both affections and afflictions at his hands. Rated: M - Chapters: 3 - Words: 19,724

Friend Number Three by riptey: COMPLETE - How do you deal with the Pureblood aristocracy, Ministry corruption, Muggle culture invasions, and constant questions about your love life while juggling more than two friends and not being a total jerk? Don’t ask Draco: he doesn’t know. D/Hr Rated: T - Chapters: 26 - Words: 138,388

Seven Days In April by inadaze22: They were still the same people with the same problems on either side of a bathroom door. Rated: T - Chapters: 7 - Words: 40,097

Everything Changes by inadaze22: “Thank you for cheating on me, Ron. It’s the best thing you could’ve done. Thank you for stopping me from making the worst mistake of my life.” My first Dramione story. Rated M for strong language and sexual content. Rated: M - Chapters: 17 - Words: 76,191

Out of the Silent Planet by ianthe_waiting: Post-Hogwarts - Hermione Granger fulfills Severus Snape’s final wish, to journey to Japan to ‘retrieve’ something of importance. Set eleven years after HBP. Rated: NC-17 - Chapters: 39 - Words: 229,710

Ardent Bonds by Musyc: Maybe it was wrong to think about this, maybe it was horrible to even consider, but if Draco Malfoy liked to dominate, she couldn’t stop herself from picturing it. Picturing him. Rated: E - Words: 16,741 - Chapters: 1

Seven Times by kerriclifford240879: Seven times can mean a lifetime of change. Rated: M - Chapters: 7 - Words: 16,526

#dramione #draco x hermione #hermione x draco #Draco Malfoy #Hermione Granger #Harry Potter #harry potter fanfiction #dramioneficrecommendations #ask

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howtowhumpyourhiccup · 4 years ago

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Winter Whumperland Day 2 - Alone

Summary: Written for Winter Whumperland Day 2. Set in a modern AU, sequel to Day 1 'Appearances'. At night after the party, Hiccup lies awake, unable to sleep. He's not alone in bed, but still alone with his thoughts.

Rating: Mature

Characters: Hiccup, Viggo

Pairing: Vigcup, past-Hiccstrid

Words: 1 321

Fandom: How to Train Your Dragon

Prompt: “Sleep Deprivation”

Whumpee: Hiccup

Author’s Notes: Since these all take place in the same story, but are loosely tied together, it means that I have the full story to work with as I post these one-shots. I somewhat re-wrote this one and the previous one to fit and flow better and even added another scene to Day 3 because of an event happening on a later day that was already planned but hadn't been written yet.

What I'm trying to say is, this has been an interesting project to work on.Also, is the rating of "mature" right? And I've seen the Winter Whumperland blog itself tag the first Day as "dubcon", does that count for whole relationships that only one half of the couple wants as well?

Constructive criticism is appreciated!

Enjoy!

@amonthofwhump

Ao3

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The clock ticking softly on the wall is infuriating, but it's about the only companion he has right now. That and the moonlight timidly lighting the room with what little the moon can reflect.

Eyes on the ceiling, he's never seen a room look so blue before, so used to the orange light of streetlamps coming in instead.

Or maybe he is used to it, he's been here long enough, after all.

He hates how that thought makes him feel. He's so used to everything now, nothing really fazes him anymore, nothing is new.

He wants to be at home.

Hiccup sighs deeply, a familiar feeling of a deep yearning in his heart that seems so far out of reach now. Every day it dwindles just a little more, every day it goes farther and farther away. Like a pleasant dream one has at night only to wake up and barely remember it.

Someone follows his example, breathing just as deeply, but more contentedly than he does.

He's not alone in bed as Viggo is with him. As if they're a real couple, they share the bed and sometimes it's almost like the elder of the two actually believes that they are. And Hiccup, he feels like pretending that they are makes things easier for him.

He pretended less than an hour ago.

Both bare underneath the covers, Viggo's head is lying on his naked chest, Hiccup can feel his prickly beard on his skin. His expression is quite neutral and Hiccup would've liked it if his sleep was at least a little bit troubled. He doesn't deserve a full night of rest.

The ironic thing is, Viggo is sleeping well because of Hiccup's presence. Something he'd told the young man, who almost felt flattered until that rational part of him, no matter how small after everything, reminded him not to be fooled.

Viggo is a manipulative man, the last thing he needs is to develop Stockholm syndrome after everything.

It's not fair that he gets to sleep while Hiccup can't. He's too uncomfortable to.

There's a layer of sweat coating him and the feeling of it drying on his skin is abhorrent, especially given the circumstances. And so is the culmination of wetness between his legs and on his stomach. They had sex before Viggo so graciously fell asleep on his chest and Hiccup desperately wants to take a shower.

But alas, he can't. That involves getting up and 'his darling' won't appreciate being moved. Maybe he'll get the chance somewhere during the night. If not, he'll be forced to wait until morning. So he has hours of uncomfortably lying in their mess to look forward to.

And he'll be expected to change the sheets later. When you keep someone hostage for your pleasure, you expect them to do the housework, too, apparently.

The Grimborns used to have a housekeeper, but she was "fired" for discovering Hiccup and not wanting to keep him quiet.

She was so kind, Hiccup hopes it was quick at least.

Gods, he hates himself right now. Not that it's a new feeling. He feels responsible for what happened to that poor woman and so he hates himself. And for getting caught in the first place, for drawing attention everywhere he goes, for everything he's had to do just to get through the day.

He's been performing his role as some kind of obedient... He doesn't want to think about it. Like a dog, he's expected to bark, roll over, play dead whenever his master commands him to and he's done it all. He's done it all. Because he's already figured that fighting Viggo and Ryker physically just doesn't work. And then there are those invisible fences to keep him trapped, like he's some pretty bird in a golden cage and Viggo is the master who makes him perform just for him until the day he dies.

It's sad and he hates it, but sex is a handy tool. The youngest Grimborn is a smart man who likes a smart partner, he's reminded Hiccup several times of this fact. But he, too, can be persuaded with the pleasures of the flesh, especially if the person offering is Hiccup.

Tonight, Hiccup pretended they are a couple and offered his body to lessen his anger when Viggo came searching for him after the party and found the bedroom door to be locked. Just as he predicted earlier, locking the door on top of everything else he'd done was the final straw for that night. And it didn't help that the party had left Viggo drained and even more easily agitated.

Hiccup doesn't want to think about how trading himself for his own safety makes him feel like. He doesn't want to be alone with his thoughts either and yet here he is.

Astrid was his girlfriend and they've only done it twice. They were a young couple that thought they had plenty of time, so they didn't rush. That is far, far less than what he's done with his current... "lover".

They were both inexperienced, simply exploring, finding things out together, garnering experience together. He doubts that has changed much for Astrid, but his experience has skyrocketed since their separation. Another thing he hates. So much he's had to learn that he wants to unlearn.

Before pretending that they are in love, he's tried to pretend this was Astrid he was with, but that never lasted long. A 19-year-old young woman and a 30 to 40 something-year-old man aren't the same things, after all.

And then there is another little thing that he's heard the brothers talk about, eavesdropping in on a conversation he was never meant to hear and probably would've been punished severely for. But that is for when Viggo's broken him enough to when they can be sure Hiccup won't run away given the chance.

It'll be the final insult, the last chain that is meant to keep him here, the end goal so to speak. When that guest made his joke earlier, he probably didn't guess the meaning behind Viggo's look correctly, but Hiccup knows what that smile was about.

But he's not going to let it come to that, he can't. Even if he's never found, he has to get out of this situation somehow.

Or maybe he's too optimistic for his own good and his kidnapping will end like so many other cases before him have. Namely, with him in a shallow grave somewhere far away from home. Nothing but skeletal remains and forever remembered as the tragic golden child who went missing when he had so much promise.

Once again, not him, just like that reflection wasn't him.

Hiccup wishes he could sleep. He's so, so tired and he wants his thought process to finally stop bringing him places he doesn't want it to go. He can't even use this time to think of a way out, his mind too preoccupied with hurting itself. He closes his heavy eyes, but they won't stay closed.

How dare Viggo sleep so peacefully when he's the one harboring a missing person that he stole and exploits in every way he wants to.

Glaring down at him, Hiccup curses him for leaving him alone with his thoughts like this.

The nights are arguably the worst in this aspect. Days are bad, but at least there's stuff he can keep himself busy with. House stuff usually, since he's not allowed to do anything else, and they somehow always manage to keep his list of chores full. It's almost like he's a child in a strict household.

But now there's nothing stopping him from thinking, from feeling, from missing. And what he feels is discomfort, fear, heartache, and loneliness.

A well, he'll just have to bear with it. Despite Viggo's methods and his way to beat him down and tire him out, Hiccup does have a plan.

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luvshuas · 5 years ago

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sea salt

pairing - siren!jeonghan x reader

tags - supernatural!au + high school!au (for setting) + angst + bittersweet? fluff

synopsis - living in a seaside town came with its fair share of sailor folklore. the story that sirens, beautiful creatures from the ocean’s depths, walked among us was one of the many tales you were told, but they’re just stories, right?

word count - 3.1k

note - i posted this in october 2019 with another member for 9 hours and then deleted it the morning i woke up, but i think about it a lot and i’m quite fond of it

Did you hear there’s a new boy? Where did he come from? Why did he move here? I heard he ran away from home. I heard his name is Yoon Jeonghan.

You rolled your eyes as whispers of who the new boy could be floated into your ears. No one knew who he was, but he had already become the talk of the town. You couldn’t blame them; it’s not everyday someone new moved in. But the constant whispers of who this mystery boy was annoyed you nonetheless.

You continued the short trek through the school hallways until you arrived in your homeroom. The drafty room was fairly empty, save for the two or three students studying for whatever test they had that day. You mindlessly made your way to your seat. The rattling sound of the old heater settled in between the cracks of silence. You stared at the clock ahead of your desk. It was a pointless decoration seeing that the hands never moved off of 3:30. You wondered if your teacher ever noticed the frozen clock, or if he too saw it just as a decoration.

The headache-inducing school bell flooded its way into the speaker system, a dull reminder that the students had five minutes to wrap up their conversations and make their way to their homeroom. You fixed your gaze back on the clock ahead of you in an attempt to zone out once again, but as more of your classmates filed into the room, so did more whispers of who the new boy might be.

He’s in our year. I wonder if he’s handsome. Do you think he’ll be in our homeroom? What do you think happened to his parents? Maybe he doesn’t have any.

“Do you ever whisper about anything besides other people?” You mumbled quietly. The chatter filling the room didn’t last long as the teacher made his way through the rows of desks before finally landing in the squeaking chair behind his desk in the front corner of the room. Your classmates quickly found their way to their seats. You always found it amusing how much he scared everyone.

“Before I get any questions: no, there are no new students in this class. However, there is a new assignment.” His voice droned monotonously, earning a collection of groans as he explained the new assignment to the class. Your eyes drifted back to the clock as the teacher’s voice became white noise in the back of your mind. Momentarily, you wondered what it felt like to be stuck in one moment and relive it in a never ending loop. “To my knowledge the clock won’t give you instructions,” he spoke loudly, projecting his voice across the classroom to reach you within your bubble of thought. “Stay focused.”

Your ears burned red at the sudden call out. “I’m sorry.” You said meekly. The instructor nodded, continuing his bland explanation. Despite your attempts to focus, your mind continued to wander. You briefly let your mind wander to thoughts about the new boy. You thought about the whispers surrounding him, and a part of you felt bad. No one knew who he was and he was already either being lusted after by your classmates or pinned as a weirdo with no parents by the others. What a poor way to start your first day at a new school, you thought.

The bell releasing everyone from class interrupted your thoughts. Immediately the room was full of chatter and the sound of students shoving notebooks and pencils back into their bags. You pulled your bag onto your shoulders and began making your way towards the door of the classroom. Stepping out of the room, you noticed a crowd of students begin to form. You scoffed, expecting it to be another fight, but you didn’t hear the expected chanting of students trying to egg on whoever was in the middle to throw a punch. You slowly walked over to the growing crowd. However, as you got closer you began to feel dread pooling in your stomach. You watched the faces of the kids you spent your whole life with, but they seemed off. They seemed empty.

Shaking your head, you turned around to walk the other way. You didn’t know what was happening within that crowd, and you certainly weren’t keen on finding out.

____

As the days passed by you began to wonder if Jeonghan was a real person or just some made-up name used to create talk amongst the town. You at first figured you’d see him around the school, but as the weekend snuck up on you doubt that he exists began to tug at your mind. You didn’t want to ask around about him, not in a town where everyone knew everyone and asking about a boy might lead to an interrogation at home. But as the saying goes: curiosity killed the cat.

“Do you know anything about the new kid? Yoon Jeonghan?” You asked, trying to seem casual and uninterested. The elderly woman packing up the pastries you had just bought momentarily paused. Your eyes met hers, and you swore you could spot a sort of unease flickering in her eyes at the mention of his name.

“Stay away from him.” She said curtly. Her eyes bore into yours, daring you to ask more questions about this boy. You, left unsatisfied by her answer, accepted the dare.

“Why? He’s only been here for a week. He can’t be that bad.” You turned your gaze back to the wallet in your hand. Fishing out the amount you owed, you place the bills and coins on the counter. The woman slid the payment across the counter, back in your direction.

“It’s free today as a thank you to your parents.” She said, handing you the package of pastries. You accepted the package and placed the currency back into your wallet. As you turned to leave the little shop, you heard the woman call out to you, “Be careful!” Her request that you be careful sounded desperate, like she knew something you didn’t. You raised your hand in a short wave before taking your leave and stepping out into the chilly autumn air.

You pulled your coat tighter against your body in an attempt to block the damp air from reaching your body. Despite living in the town your entire life, you never grew used to the damp weather. In your eyes, the town always appeared sad and sleepy with clouds looming overhead nearly everyday. The same people you grew up seeing everyday didn’t look any different either. You supposed the town was doomed to always look gloomy, no matter if there was a new resident or not.

You walked slowly along the sparsely populated streets. You were in no rush to return home, and the slower you walked the higher your chance of bumping into Jeonghan. A part of you felt gross that you were willing to go through all of this trouble to meet this boy, but you couldn’t help yourself. Within a week, he had most of the town wrapped around his finger.

However, you kept thinking back to what the elderly woman told you. You craned your head back towards the shop you had left. By now it was already out of view as you had already turned a few corners. Sighing, you turned your head back forward, but it wasn’t enough to keep you from bumping into someone.

“Careful,” his voice was velvety. “Don’t want you getting hurt.” He held your shoulders in his hands, moving you to the side.

“Who are you?” You asked. Your mind felt completely separated from your body as you spoke. Every neuron seemed to fire towards speaking to him despite your mind screaming to continue walking. Your eyes trailed up his body until they landed on his face, immediately sending a wave a dread through you.

“I think you already know the answer to your question.” He smiled. Of course you knew. Everyone knew who he was. Without ever hearing the velvet of his voice, seeing the strangely beautiful features of his face, smelling the sea that seemed to radiate off of him, you still knew. You wished to know who he was, and now that your wish was met you weren’t so sure if that’s really what you wanted.

“You’re Yoon Jeonghan.” Your voice came out no louder than a whisper. His smile widened at the mention of his name. The dread you felt seemed to flow through you more urgently now, as if the mention of his name would bring nothing good.

Jeonghan said nothing as his hands dropped from your shoulders. With a smile still gracing his face, he walked past you. Your eyes stay trained on him until he turned the corner and disappeared behind a building. Once you could no longer see him you slowly began to walk again.

There was something strange about him, you decided, but, along with being seemingly strange, he felt magnetic. You couldn’t help feeling slightly drained as you walked in the opposite direction of him, but maybe you were just tired from the stress that came from school.

____

As time wore on, you noticed Jeonghan more and more. The first time you spotted him he was leaning against the wall in the school hallways, seemingly watching you. You pretended to ignore it, but his gaze burned right into you. The second time you were closing your family’s shop for the night. Your eyes had drifted across the street to meet what you assumed to be his, but the cover of night made it hard to tell. The third time you were waiting to cross the street when he appeared at the other side, also waiting to cross. You kept your eyes forward, but as you passed him you couldn’t help but sneak a peek at his smirking face. The fourth time -- or the current encounter -- you found him at the pier, his legs dangling off the edge as he sat on the rickety wood.

“You shouldn’t be skipping school.” You said, walking closer to him. Jeonghan’s lips tugged up into his usual smile, but it didn’t look the same. He turned to face you as you took a seat next to him.

“Shouldn’t you be listening to your own advice?” His voice sounded tired. You shrugged silently, keeping your eyes fixated on the waves. You felt some invisible force tugging at you, coaxing you to look at him. You had learned quickly enough to associate his eyes with the overwhelming feeling of dread that would course through you.

“The pier is an odd place to visit when you’re skipping. Most kids would go home.”

“I guess I just missed the ocean.” He said. Finally giving into the tug, you looked over at him. You couldn’t help staring at him. It would probably be unnatural if you didn’t stare, but as you finally allowed yourself to study his face you noticed the bags under his eyes, the paleness of his skin, the smile lines resting at the corners of his mouth. He wasn’t as perfect as you assumed he would be.

When Jeonghan turned to meet your eyes you expected anything but the feeling of relaxation to pass through you. You tried feeling unsettled by the sudden change in mood, but you couldn’t help yourself. You felt drawn to Jeonghan in a way that you didn’t like. The same way that the polar ends of magnets attract each other.

The warning the elderly woman gave you repeated in your mind. Stay away from him. Stay away from him. Stay away from him. That was a lot easier said than done. You noticed you were leaning into him the moment his lips met yours. The feeling of his lips molding against yours sent a new wave of calm through you. You felt untouchable; like you were in your own bubble and nothing could get to you.

Jeonghan let his lips trail away from yours to follow along your jaw and down your neck. The plush skin at your throat purpled easily as he worked it between his lips. Your hands tangled into his hair, stringing the soft locks through your fingers.

“We shouldn’t,” he pulled away from you, letting his lips hover over the mark blooming on your neck. “Not in public at least.”

You pulled away from Jeonghan as the feeling of dread began to form in the pit of your stomach. Shakily, you began to stand up. You didn’t like the way Jeonghan looked at you. You didn’t like the way you felt after seeing the longing in his eyes. He didn’t reach out for you or say anything as you slowly backed away from him. He didn’t do anything once you turned around and ran. He stayed still, wondering if it was truly worth it. Wondering if he truly wanted to be another person’s demise.

You ran for as long as you were able to, only stopping once you started to stumble. You looked around to gauge where you were in town. Main Street. I’m on Main Street, you thought. You slowly started to walk again, heading in the direction of the elderly woman’s shop. Her warning once again rang through your head. You needed to know who -- or more so what -- he was.

“Welcome!” She greeted from somewhere in the back as the chimes above the door were knocked. Quickly, she returned to the front of her shop, though her smile faded once you came into view. “What are you doing here?”

“What is he?” You asked, completely ignoring her question. She looked you up and down until her eyes landed on the purple mark on your neck.

“What have you done?” She whispered, closing the distance between the two of you. Her fingers felt cold as they prodded against the mark on your neck. You could see the growing frustration in her face the longer she looked at what he had done to your neck. “Have your parents never told you the stories?”

“What stories?” You asked. You had heard plenty of stories from your parents, but you always played them off as myths used to scare you into behaving.

“Every few decades a siren comes to town when they’re close to dying. While they’re posing as people, they drain the energy of those around them until they can attach themselves to someone’s energy,” she paused, looking you in the eye. “And I think you can guess what happens to the person they attach themselves too.”

“Sirens don’t exist.” You mumbled. Your voice sounded unsure, like you were considering the possibility that what the elderly woman was saying could be true.

“He’ll lead you to a watery grave if you don’t get some sense into you.” She said harshly. Absentmindedly, you nodded. The longer you thought about it the more it made sense. Everytime you came into contact with him you felt drained and a feeling of dread filled you, but when you kissed him you felt none of that. “Go home, and stay away from that boy.”

You blankly stared at the floor as she turned you towards the door, giving you a little push. You felt conflicted. You were supposed to fear Jeonghan, but instead you were being pulled in his direction. But his direction could lead to your inevitable end.

____

The weeks you spent away from Jeonghan proved to be no help when you saw him standing across the street from your home. Upon seeing him, feelings of want flooded you. But so did memories of the warnings you got to stay away from him. Unfortunately your want for him outweighed the danger he posed to you, and in no time you were standing in front of him on the sidewalk.

“You shouldn’t have come out.” Jeonghan said. Hearing the words leave his lips felt like a slap in the face, but you were too far drowned in the thought of him to care. From the look in your eyes he knew he could’ve led you to the ocean right then and there. He’d be lying if he denied considering it.

“I know what you are.” You said in a hushed tone. Jeonghan smiled, though it appeared forced. He wondered how long it would take before you found out he was a siren, but it also confused him. It confused him because in the past when others found out he was a siren they’d run from him whereas you willingly came to him.

“Then you know I’m supposed to drown you.” You nodded. You were well aware that he would use to make his life longer. You found it wonderfully tragic. In exchange for the feeling of pure bliss when his lips would meet yours you’d give him your life. “Then you should also know that I won’t drown you.”

The irony of it all would’ve been enough to kill you. “Why?” You asked.

“Look at you, so willing to give your life to me. For what? A kiss or two?” Jeonghan laughed bitterly, raising his hand to run it through your hair. Your motives sounded pathetic coming from him. This must be what an addiction feels like, you thought. “Or maybe you’re hoping I know of ways to turn people into sirens. You’ve heard the tales of people turning into sirens, haven’t you? Is that what you want?”

You shook your head, “No. I just want you.” The desperation in your voice hurt him. His need for self-preservation screamed to accept you, to take you to the ocean and drown you. Jeonghan dropped his hand from your hair. “What’s wrong?” You asked quietly.

“Everything,” he whispered. “Absolutely everything.” Jeonghan let out a shaky breath as he began walking past you. Every bone in his body screamed at him to turn around. It would’ve been so easy. Just one kiss and he would’ve had you in the water. Just one kiss and he’d be alive for who knows how many more decades.

You watched as Jeonghan got smaller in the distance. You considered following him, seeing as he was clearly headed in the direction of the ocean, but you stayed put in the same place he left you. You weren’t too far gone in your want for him to recognize that you weren’t in love with him. You wanted him enough to die for him, but it wasn’t love. It would’ve never been love.

“What have you done to me?” You mumbled as a feeling of emptiness replaced the want. He was gone, and he left you craving more.

#seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fluff #kpop imagines #kpop fluff #seventeen angst #kpop angst #seventeen #svt #yoon jeonghan #jeonghan #yoon jeonghan imagines #jeonghan imagines #yoon jeonghan fluff #jeonghan fluff #yoon jeonghan angst #jeonghan angst #yoon jeonghan scenarios #jeonghan scenarios

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thefabelmans2022 · 4 years ago

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@prettyboyderogatory tagged me to do this 30 questions tag (ty 💖), basically the rules are answer these 30 questions and tag people

i can't put the questions under the cut bc i'm on mobile and i can't figure out how to do it so i apologise <3

name lauryn

gender female

star sign taurus sun/aries moon/taurus risijg

height 162cm

current time 6:29pm

birthday 14th may

favourite bands/groups if i had to pick like a top 3 it would probably be queen, the beatles, and one direction fall out boy

favourite solo artists taylor swift bruce springsteen carly rae jepsen hozier

last movie i started watching the dig on netflix but i got bored bc they kept trying to make it about the interpersonal relationships and some fucking romance subplot when there is literally an ancient anglo-saxon burial mound RIGHT THERE and i'm WAY more interested in that than in whatever's going on between lily james and what's-his-name you promised me a dig SHOW ME THE DIG

last show you binged i watched five came back the other day but idk if that counts, so i'll just say i rewatched derry girls again

last book you read the historian by elizabeth kosova!! it was so good i loved it. i also just read the novella wylding hall which is fucking fantastic but again idk if it counts

when you created you blog like 2013 and everyday i wish i could just nuke everything from before 2019 <3

what do i post whatever i feel like i just follow my heart <3

last thing you googled 'influence synonyms' bc i've been writing an essay and i can't stop using the word influence lmao help

why i chose my url it's a reference to the format of the title of friends episodes. also i am lauryn and i have a blog.

other blogs @incorrectamericanvandalquotes but it hasn't been updated in a very long time. i also had to make a blog for an assignment i did earlier this year and i still have that but it just has a short essay type thing about wuthering heights on it

top three fictional universes i love the idea of living in the 11/22/63 universe bc i too would like to save jfk's life, middle earth (oh to be a hobbit living in a hole in the ground), narnia

do i get asks sometimes!! mostly it's just my friends when i leave desperate tags on reblogs of ask games

how many people are you following i don't know and frankly i'm scared to find out

how many followers do you have i don't know and frankly i'm scared to find out

average hours of sleep it fluctuates between like 3 and 7

lucky number 14 bc that's my birthday ♥️ and troy bolton's basketball number ♥️

instruments i own a bass, a guitar, and a ukelele and i can't play any of them

favourite food aahhh idk i'm gonna say cheesecake

favourite song 😳😳😳 it's impossible to choose one favourite song but rn i'm obsessed with ivy by taylor swift #ivyhive

dream trip everywhere europe and/or america

what im currently wearing a led zeppelin sleep shirt, leggings, and mchappy day socks <3

dream job slightly eccentric but well-regarded professor

nationality australian

i'm tagging @distortedfractals @retrospective-gardenias @kaspbrak @childoftheegg

#tysm emily ily 💖💖#long post #tag games

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dreamsofnude · 4 years ago

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An Ode to a Past Love

This is the hardest thing I will ever write.

It started a little more than six years ago. I met you at a concert in Philadelphia. I didn’t think much of you then. You followed me around all day with those big blue eyes and I thought nothing of it. You annoyed me actually.

You were persistent, and I liked that about you. You annoyed me, but you had so many traits that I admired. You were easy to talk to. You were kind. You knew how to make me laugh. We shared similar interests and values. But of course, you were just a friend.

Your entire existence conflicted with what I wanted in life; with who I wanted in life. You were wild and had experienced so much in just 18 years. You didn’t want to settle. I was 19 and in my first year of college, and didn’t know what my future held. I had a very clear idea in my head of the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. You weren’t it.

You were always persistent. Despite how busy I was working and going to class, day after day we would text, talk on the phone, Facetime, send each other Tweets, and so on. There was never a time where we weren’t connected. I loved to hate that about us.

I turned 20 and decided I wanted an adventure. You were in bootcamp in North Chicago and I suggested that I would come visit. I had never traveled on my own. You agreed, and we made arrangements. Little did I know, that this would be the trip that ruined me forever.

I got on the plane, full of excitement and butterflies. I didn’t know why I was feeling them. I was just going to visit a friend; nothing major. We were going to meet downtown at Ogilvie Station. I got lost trying to find it. When I first saw you exit the train platform doors, we ran up toward one another and embraced each other with a force and closeness I had never felt — and that is when my life changed.

I didn’t know what was in store for us. I didn’t know that our first kiss was going to be on the top of the ferris wheel at Navy Pier that night. I didn’t know that we would spend the evening tangled in that hotel room bed. I didn’t know what was happening, and honestly, I didn’t care. I was happy. For once in my life, I felt happy.

I went back to Pennsylvania, and you went back to bootcamp. You got assigned to be in San Diego a month later. The distance between us just got larger, but I didn’t care. I wanted it to work.

You came back to Pennsylvania before they sent you to San Diego, and I promised I would drive 3 hours to see you. I will never forget that day. Unfortunately, it would be the last time I saw you for a few years.

We continuously found ourselves in a rigorous cat-and-mouse game for the years to follow. I would date someone; you would talk to me. You would date someone; I would talk to you. When it failed on both ends, we talked to one another. I didn’t mind it though, because we always found our way back to each other again.

I was in my last year of college. You called me one December night, drunk out of your mind. You confessed your love for me. You said “I want you from the beginning to the very end.” Though it didn’t make sense, I knew what you meant, and the cycle started all over again.

We decided to plan a visit after 3 years of not seeing each other. I flew to San Diego to spend 10 days with you in your apartment on the naval base. It was the new start with you I had craved for years.

We got a little drunk one night and got carried away. I found out two months later that I was pregnant. We agreed on an abortion. I want to say more about this but it’s hard for me to put it all into words. It still haunts me to this day.

I asked you if I could move to San Diego to be with you after I graduated college. I wanted us to finally be in the same place at the same time. You told me no. Later I found out it’s because you had a local girlfriend that you didn’t want me to know about.

At 23, I decided to move to Chicago after graduation and have a new start. I wanted to be with you but you still had a few years left in the Navy, and you didn’t want me to be in San Diego. I figured, Chicago was where we got our start, why not go there and make it our forever?

You told me you were afraid of me. You said you were afraid of how much I loved you, and how much you loved me. You said you were afraid of how intense and serious our connection was. You confessed to the secret local girlfriend that I had my suspicions about, but said you didn’t want to be with anyone else ever again. We finally made it official and started dating. I shouldn’t have forgiven you then, but I did. I should have hated you then, but I didn’t.

Things were rough because of the distance, but one thing was certain: the love we had for each other was on fire. We were wildly passionate about one another. We made several trips back and forth to see each other, but each time left us with wanting more. I have come to learn from this situation that sometimes just loving someone so much is not enough.

I always had my suspicions about your girl best friend. I knew in my gut she liked you, and that she always had. You denied these statements every time I made them.

You asked me in April if she could move in with you and your other roommate because there was an opening and her lease was up. I was not keen on the idea. I believe I said no several times because of how uncomfortable it made me feel. Truth be told, I didn’t trust her. I knew she would try something. Eventually I gave in, and said she could, but that there would be some ground rules in terms of what questions I could ask in order to ease my mind and reassure me with her being around. As I’m sure you recall, there wasn’t much reason for me to trust you either.

We broke up in May — two weeks after I resigned my lease for the apartment you were supposed to live in with me. I was now stuck by myself in a city that I hated. I hated the lifestyle. I hated the people. I hated the apartment that I once loved. I hated everything, but somehow I didn’t hate you.

We kept in touch, constantly actually. You still called and texted me every day. We still told each other about our days. We were both unprepared for what was to come.

My mental health started to decline rapidly. My therapist wanted to admit me to in-patient therapy, but I didn’t have the money. You sent it to me so that I could get the help I needed.

Time went on. I got a little better. I was released from the in-patient facility, and quickly started acting out. I was doing drugs and partying a lot, and you stuck to your reserved roots. We still talked every day. You were concerned, but just wanted me to have fun and feel free. I took advantage of that. I’m 25 years old and still sulking over my ex-boyfriend, so what better way to cope with the loss than with partying and drugs?

You came back to Pennsylvania for the holidays, and I promised I would drive 3 hours to see you, just like I had done years before. I will never forget that day. It was the first time I had seen you in person since we broke up.

We spent the day together in Harrisburg; we went to the bookstore and the coffee shop, walked around the city, and sat on the swings at the park. I asked you about a photo of you and your roommate that looked very couple-like that was on Instagram, and I said, “You know how this looks, right?” You denied and said that it was just because your other roommate didn’t want to be in the photo.

As the sun started to set and I knew I needed to make my journey back home, I felt so strongly in my gut that I didn’t want to leave you. I would rather die than be apart from you again.

I dropped you off at your cousin’s house. We didn’t even hug goodbye. We were both hesitant to leave but knew it’s what we had to do. I started to drive away, and not even 30 seconds down the street I started hysterically crying. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t see. I called a friend to calm me down and he said “You need to tell him, Lydia!” — so I did.

I texted you and told you I was crying. I said how I regretted not hugging you goodbye. You replied almost instantly and said “I regret not kissing you, so there’s that.” I abruptly turned the car around and headed back toward you.

I picked you back up and you kissed me immediately. I hate to say it but my soul left my body with that kiss. I had craved it for so long. I had craved you for so long. We couldn’t stop so we drove to a clearing in the woods. You know the rest. You played Heavenly by Cigarettes After Sex as I drove you back to your cousin’s house.

I started on my 3 hour drive home that night, intoxicated from your kiss and the connection that we built once again. I didn’t know that would be the last time I saw you.

Time went on, and things were good. You said how you wished you could come home to me. We talked about visiting each other again, but you were unsure of the timing because you were trying to start a new job. We were desperate to make it work; well, at least I was.

You started to grow distant. I asked you about it several times. I asked you if there was someone else. You told me you just were afraid of hurting me again. You said there was no one else.

Valentine’s Day rolled around, which is a particularly hard time for me because that is the anniversary of the abortion I had for what would have been our child. The day was already off to a rough start. I had a disgusting gut feeling that something was going to happen that day, but I tried to brush it off.

I happened to look at your roommate’s Instagram story and saw a post of beautiful flowers on the table in your home, captioned “Thank you my love,” with you tagged on the image. I ran to the bathroom and threw up. My worst nightmare had come true.

I asked you about it, you initially denied and said how the two of you talked about needing more plants in the house so you thought buying her those flowers would be a nice gesture. On Valentine’s Day? You always thought I was a fool. I knew you were lying. Sparing the details, you eventually confessed to having been with her for quite some time.

I know that my actions were toxic as a response to trauma, and for that there is no excuse. However, my intentions were never evil or to hurt you. I was lost. I was hurting. I was dealing with the greatest loss I had ever experienced. I was fighting for my life, and my mental illnesses were winning.

I said I wanted to come to San Diego. In the heat of the moment, I did not express the intentions of that statement clearly. I really just wanted to come to talk to you in person and explain everything that I had done, face-to-face, so we could fix it. But, it was interpreted as a threat. Now, I sit here with a 3-year restraining order.

I left out so many details from our story as I find them to be sacred — for you and me only. I have done a lot of terrible things to you, as you have done a lot of terrible things to me. We can’t take back what has already happened. I just wish you wouldn’t have given up.

Time has gone on and I’ve grown so much as a person. I have learned to deal with my mental illnesses more proactively. I’m finally doing things that make me happy. I’m leaving this city I hate to move somewhere I actually want to be. I am living for me now, not for you. I hope you’ve changed for the better, too.

There are so many things that I would go back and relive if I could, as well as go back and change. Surprisingly, I wouldn’t turn you back into a stranger. But, I didn’t know that was our inevitable outcome.

The last time we spoke was March 14th. Don’t worry, I’m not counting or anything.

This is the hardest thing I will ever write. I hope you read it.

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lowkeyassgard · 5 years ago

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DAY 8 OF LOKI VS. EARTH: FACEBOOK.

Day 8 of Loki vs. Earth and today Loki is confused and pissed off by Facebook.

One shot summary: Loki reads books and wants friends to talk to about said books. Loki joins Facebook to find said friends to talk about said books.

Author’s Note: Hi. I started something called the quarantine series. It’s going to be a series of fun and light hearted one shots to help readers and other writers get through this hard time. I made a a03 collection and a tumblr tag. To join just write a fun, soft, and/or light hearted one shot and post it to the collection @Quarantine_Series or tag it on tumblr as #quarantine series. Anyways enjoy!

After a few months of living on Earth, Valkyrie had bought Loki a phone as a present. With his more positive mindset and less “I will rule the world” attitude she thought it would be a nice way of bringing him into the modern world. People say you can do anything and everything on a phone

Loki used it just for books.

On the first day of having his phone Loki discovered that you could download books and read them on this device. In the comfort of your hand and at your own speed. It was glorious. They were called ebooks and to Loki they were the greatest thing he had discovered on Midgard.

He read all day long. If he wasn’t doing the duties asked of him he was in his bed reading a new book on his phone. At this point he had read hundreds of books. Sometimes 20 books a day. He read anything he could find on every topic. He began to understand Midgard and the way people acted the way they did.

The day that Valkyrie found out that he just used his phone for reading she was appalled. She had spent a good bit of change on the phone and he wasn’t using it for the purpose she intended. She intended him to use it to interact with the Midgard world, make friends, and have fun. All of the apps were already installed and yet the only one he cared about was Apple Books.

No matter what she said Loki just did not care about it. Why talk to people when he converse with all his favorite fictional characters? Why deal with human drama when he could learn about history? Why get out of bed when he could stay in bed?

After a solid talk and Valkyrie ordering as his king Loki agreed to give social media a chance. He clicked on the blue icon with a fancy f in the middle. It came up with a welcome to Facebook page.

“Facebook. Do I put my face on a book?” Loki thought to himself. Maybe Facebook was where you uploaded photos and texts to a book all about your life. Like an autobiography but digitalized for all to see.

The first step was to make an account. It asked for an email and a password. The only email he had was the one he had set up to attach his books to. He typed in “[email protected]” for the email and then “godofmischief” as the password. Easy and simple.

Next he was to select a photo for his profile. Well Loki didn’t have any photos of himself. He didn’t have any phone of anything. He didn’t know why people had to document and capture their face… it wasn’t going to change every few minutes. Loki pressed a button and it opened up to be his face. Oh the camera. Since he didn’t have a photo of himself it wanted him to take one. Well he would cave to the wishes of the technology just this once. Loki stared into the camera while it took his photo. He looked as though he was a greasy 30 year old man that was desperate for any form of interaction. Perfect. Loki selected next.

Then came the questions. What was his name? He tried to type in “ I am Loki Odinson, prince of Asgard, rightful king of jotunheim, god of mischief” but it cut off after As.. Why ask for his full title if it couldn’t handle it. Angry that it didn’t have the capacity for it all he shortened it to “Prince Loki.”

Where was he from? Easy Asgard. Well actually Jotunheim but he was practically kidnapped and raised on lies. Okay let’s just put “Not Earth”. Where did he live? Easy. After the destruction of his home palace he now lived in New Asgard on Earth which was technically Norway. Once again they didn’t want the full story just a location. Why ask if they didn’t want to know? Loki groaned. He clanked in “Earth”

Where did he work and go to school? Loki did not work. He sat around and enjoyed himself while others worked. He was a man of great pleasure. He was too occupied of his own needs to do a job. He ended up typing in “self employed.” He was taught by his now deceased mother everything he was taught. She taught him to read, to write, to do magic. There was no school; just Frigga. In that box he typed in “the arms of Frigga.” Which was the absolute truth.

Relationship status? Single. Lonely. Fuck Midgardians.

Lastly a bio for people to get to know him. What was something he could write that would allow anyone that clicked on his page to truly grasp his godlike personality and existence? He smirked. In the last box he happily typed. “I tuned into a snake. Almost killed my brother. Tried to topple the government. Found a love for books. In that order.”

Loki was now an active member of Facebook. Valkyrie would be proud of him. He was doing it. Taking the first step to make friends and overcome his burning hatred for anyone that wasn’t from Asgard. Valkyrie has explained that people would send him friends requests and once he accepted it they could see each other’s posts and converse. So all Loki had to do was make a post and wait for the friends request to start pouring in.

What should his first post be? Lol knew just what to post.

“I’m Loki Odinson. God of Mischief. Now humans I ask you? What are you the god of? “ Loki pressed post and sat back in his bed triumphantly. He was pissed off that the site didn’t have the capacity to handle anything about him and he had no choice but to shorten everything down but the thought of finding a human that didn’t make him want to take over was exhilarating.

Loki waited a few hours. In that time Valkyrie and Thor both added him on Facebook. Thor said he even made a post to his millions of friends to go friend his mischievous brother. So Loki waited some more.

After a few hours Loki came back to see he had 200 friends requests. He was like a kid on Christmas morning. He accepted every one of them.

But then Loki started to hate this site. Why you might ask? The people were absurd and ignorant. Hundreds of people starting replying to his post saying “god of drinking coffee” “goddess of throwing it back.” “God of donuts.” They thought it was funny to joke. To be a god is no joking matter. To be a god is surely not to be of such foolish items. Gods are powerful. Gods do not throw it back or drink coffee. At least not just those things. To be the god of something is to have it so instill into your being that if it was taken away you would be nothing. Coffee and donuts… humans knew nothing of sacred godlike belongings.

Worse people started poking him. Every few minutes he got the notification that so and so poked him. He just wanted to reach through the phone and break whatever finger they were poking him with. How dare they poke a god. To poke him like some kind of farm animal. He would be respected.

Even worse these women started messaging him asking to see his snake. His snake what could they mean. Loki could not shape shift into a snake and take a photo. They sent him revealing photos begging for his snake. No they could not see his snake form. They were not worthy.

The things these people posted. They whined and groaned about their lives. Posting about their day at work or what their snotty kid did today. No one cared and certainly not Loki. He thought Facebook would be humans worshipping him and begging to get to know him. So far no one had asked him any questions about himself or his childhood. How could they befriend him if they did not know his tragic backstory?

Valkyrie had said if he wanted to become friends with people he should make a post that was more relatable to humans. Loki figured that most humans knew how to read. So for his last attempt of the night to connect to these midgardians he made a simple and relatable post.

“What was the last book you read?”

Loki could not wait for their responses. He loved talking about literature with people. He was excited until the responses actually came in.

Loki was appalled, disgusted, and scared all in one.

People were replying such radical things. Someone said “I read the constitution everyday to protect my gun rights.” Another person “ I read erotic fiction when my husband won’t touch me.” Another saying “ I read company reviews so I can properly bitch my way to a discount the next time I visit there.” And then worst of all “Why read when we can do something more exciting?” What on earth could be more exciting than reading a good book? Yes, Loki loved a good party. Loved drugs and alcohol. Loved sex and orgasms. Loved it all but nothing would top the serotonin that went to his brain when he finished the last page of a book.

The people on Facebook were helpless. Loki slammed his phone on to the counter. If they couldn’t partake in a discussion over books then they could not be discussed to at all. He would not be posting on Facebook again. He would not poke or message another human. He would leave his profile up just so they could think about what they done. Ran off a god that could have blessed their own life.

Loki got in his bed and thought about all the amazing books he would read in the next day and how one day someone would want to discuss them with him. One day he would have a friend. Until then fuck you creepy women that wanted his snake. Fuck middle age men that whined. Fuck everyone.

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