#I shouldn't have left
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Whoopsie time
#vent tw#cw vent#I'm stupid to have dropped out of college#now I don't know what I'm doing and I can't do the very passion I set out to do#Animation was my dream and I ruined it for a guy who groomed me and ended up physically abusing me.#I didn't realize trying to animate and failing because I don't understand it no matter what I look up about it would result in a breakdown#Not to mention I'm regressing in my art skill right now.#My art is ASS right now no matter how hard I try to improve it#references... Practice... Doodles... Warmups you name it#nothing is going right and I have the urge to quit art altogether#I'm not going to and I can't bring myself to ever do that but It's aching inside me#I want my art to be good according to me. not others. People can say it's great but if I don't like it... I'm not going to settle for it#I shouldn't have left#I loved college#I loved SELU#I loved my life back then#And now I'm here. And I'm not happy anymore.#Even with writing. I even took a long break from writing and I still can't do it right according to myself.#Now I have no muse or motivation for any of it#I feel empty. And I can't go to therapy because I can't afford the balance on my account.#I just feel like I failed.#I feel like I failed my parents and myself. They always tell me theyre so proud of me but I don't understand how they can be.#Not when I ended up in two severely abusive relationships... Dropped out of college twice... And now work in a factory full time.#Yeah i make decent money in a place I enjoy but it all just feels empty.#I could've been more#i could've done better#[[out of ammo]];; ooc
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istg the moment i saw jayce d**th threats i realised how much i overestimated cognitive abilities of this fandom. they were just happy to jump on a hate train without taking a second to comprehend what even happened. "his mind [fucking] suffered", viktor told y'all himself. not to mention what horrors he saw in arcane backrooms. not to mention viktor literally wanted him to destroy the hexcore before he became jesus and literally dumped him because he didn't do it.
#jayce haters will be shot on the spot#nobody has time and energy for yall#tbh after that viktor probably genuinely believed again he can do smth good with the cursed dark matter#but it all seemed like a simulation#nothing good ever came out of jayvik's separation#they shouldn't have left each other's side even for a SECOND#i love their story tho pls don't f it all up in act 3#arcane#arcane spoilers#arcane s2#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane season 2#jayvik#vikjayce#jayce talis#jayce arcane#viktor arcane#machine herald#text
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Re: MEMENTO MORI
a few weeks back i suddenly had a lil kick and remembered I haven't tried making something for Madness Day or really done Madness stuff for a long time even though i still love these violent jellybeans dearly and figured I could redo a concept I did for the last Madness Day i did something for back in 2021.
so naturally i left it until last night to actually do most of the drawing. Jeb, Hank and Tricky have all died a stupid amount of times.
#madness combat#madness day#madness day 2024#hank j wimbleton#tricky#tricky the clown#sanford#deimos#jebus#jebediah christoff#the auditor#>>mango(t)art#i am actually pleased how it came out and that i finished it but holy heck do these guys die a lot#i shouldn't have left jeb and tricky for last but at least hank was already done :'U#if krinkels uploads mc12 today or soon i am not gonna redo this for any new canon deaths lmaoo. but i will watch as usual of course.#honestly i like how tricky looks he looked even better before the GIF quality crush but i think that's my best tricky yet#you can sort of see the quality bump from the original hank ones as i used a brush to do the glitch effects instead of doing it by hand#i think the effect could be better but it turned out alright and if i had time to practice i'll get the transition animations even better#tw blood
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Translation: "Goodnight, Kakashi."
Another piece I drew from a while ago! Somewhere deep in my heart I kinda wish Obito'd won and just like put the world to sleep ya know, but then there'd be Kaguya and everything?? I'm actually not quite sure, that part is very blurry in my mind. Well point of this one is, I just wanted to draw something that looks sweet and sad and bitter and everything in between. Not sure if it really got across, I personally love this though 😭😭😭 Really went overboard with the effects but ummm I'm just extra okay spare me The original file is quite big, I had to compress it so the quality went down, you can't really zoom in all that much. Kinda sad that I can't share that, but oh well 😓 I feel like I can ramble on this site for some reason, and it's quite nice, even if nobody reads this haha
#naruto#naruto fanart#obito uchiha#kakashi hatake#オビト#カカシ#obito x kakashi#obkk#obikaka#felt like i have to address the hands somewhere#i tried okay#they won't be that bad next time darn it#by the way how many truth seeking balls are there i'm so confused yo#like 10??#also how many spikes does juubito even have#i just went with 4 cuz that's nicer for the composition but#i think that's factually wrong#also there shouldn't be scales on his left hand#but it looks cooler so whatever#i had lots of problem with the design as you can tell#just ignore the tags pls thank you
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You know what day it— Daisuke?! Happy 24th Anniversary Zero Two! [Redraw 2020 / Appmon] [2021 / Tamers] [2022 / Frontier] [2023 / V-Tamer]
#Digimon#Odaiba Memorial Day#Odaiba Day#Digimon 02#Motomiya Daisuke#My art#This year was awkward because there's no like. Even Number Anniversaries this year#And the next few years are gonna have a few kinda overlapping ones (including Zero Two's 25th)#But since I started this weird ass tradition with Tamers' 20th Anniversary I did kinda skip Zero Two#(I did also technically skip Adventure but also since Reboot Taichi has been included since the begining I think it's fine)#(Adventure is still represented in Spirit) (Also I did V-Tamer last year so we got Double Taichi Action now)#So we're doing Zero Two this year#Poor boy Daisuke shouldn't have been left out this long. Now he gets to join the rest of the gang in the Calendar Purgatory :)#August 1st claims another gogglehead#(Had to start drawing the calendar bigger man I can't fit everyone in it otherwise)
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(bighugemassive isat spoilers vvv)
thinking about loop in the sif is out au has me experiencing a very special kind of agony
just. just. siffrin, alone!! looping completely alone, none of their party members, not a soul in all of dormont, no star under the favor tree. only them, for years-decades-thousands of loops, until they finally, finally give up. until they can't do it anymore. and then waking up. in a world where their entire party is stuck in that time loop EXCEPT for them.
having to watch themselves over, and over, and over again, messing up and being utterly useless and holding every single one of the others back. the only idiot who doesnt remember. loop, working with a party that is no longer theirs to save a version of themselves who has never known a day of real hardship or suffering. a stupid, aimless traveler trapping each and every one of them here, loop included, who doesnt even have the decency to know theyre doing it! funny how there are two of them, now, and yet BOTH of them have completely and utterly failed their entire party in such drastically unique and awful ways. forcing them to relive this for eternity.
at least none of loop's party remembered. at least loop was useful in that they could take away the other's pain, shoulder it all on their own. siffrin can't even do that. all they're doing is hurting everyone more. and they don't know.
they're the reason, they're the key, it's their fault everyone is suffering and they dont even know!!!! useless. worse than useless. if only one of these loops they would just stay dead. it'd be better for everyone, that way, for their party and loop and even themselves. loop knows how it feels. loop understands. yeah the others have each other and loop had no one but at least loop is capable of helping the others now!!! at least loop can remember!!! siffrin doesnt deserve this he doesnt deserve the love and care and affection (affection he doesnt even RECOGNIZE, doesnt appreciate or cherish, takes for granted over and over and over again) he doesnt deserve to wake every day in blissful ignorance of the way hes ruined everything and everyone around him!!!!!!
loop who knows it all and who gets to watch the entire party except for siffrin work together and support each other. gets to see just how much better off they are without sif in the way. loop isnt even siffrin, anymore. theyre Good now theyre Useful now they Understand now. siffrin doesnt and never will. watching the careful, quiet way siffrin falls further and further behind. another timeline and still completely alone. thats just what the universe wants from them, loop thinks. for every siffrin out there to suffer.
and ohhhh if/when they break the loops depending on how that goes... siffrin who did nothing to contribute who did nothing to deserve this who shouldnt even EXIST being handed victory and unconditional love on a silver fucking platter and loop who just has to watch............
#isat spoilers#siffrin? more like sif is out au#I FEEL SICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK#JSUT. JSUT. being compeltely alone. for ALL OF THAT.#and then watching everyone you wanted to protect everyone you left behind. leaving You behind.#all helping each other all of them together the way it should be. you shouldn't have ever been a part of this.#or. well. YOU should be. youve EARNED it. youve gone through so fucking much you GET IT !!!!!!! you get it.#THEY shouldnt be a part of this THEY dont deserve this not your party not the victory always held out of your grasp#im jsut repeating myself now but lord. i m so. im so. im so.#WHATEVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#alyalyoxenfree
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DPXDC Idea: Mother of Monsters Dan(yal)
Specifically Fem!Dan because I made this in mind with my Fem Danyal Au bUT. The best part about Dan is that I get to play dress up with her, and Fem Dark Dany is gonna go by Layal (pronounced lae-el) because it means "the nights" and it sounds similar to Danyal, and I think she'd choose that name to mock Dany. ANYWAYS
Mother of Monsters Danyal. She may be evil but she's an Al Ghul at her core (even with vlad's soul merged with hers - however, considering that Layal looks and sounds like Dany, she considers that soul to be the more dominant one.) and loves animals. And she might be heartless, but she adores the monsters of the infinite realms.
Mother of Monsters Layal who hates everyone but utterly dotes and adores on every manner of beast she comes across. Stealing the eggs and infant young beasts of the Infinite Realms to raise as her own because she wanted them. Her own island full of monsters, a monstrous menagerie of her own. She steals most often from poachers or exotic pet keepers and other menageries -- the full grown beasties can keep their young.
And with every monster she raises, she can shapeshift their features onto herself, allowing her to change her shape from humanish to any matter of monster or hybrid creature. She calls herself their mother, and them her children. Her precious little babies, capable of incredible mass destruction and mayhem.
From little griffins the size of kittens, to stymphalian vulture chicks, and leviathan young hatching from eggs the size of her pinkie, to creatures native of the ghost zone that didn't even have names in the living realm. There really wasn't a limit to what or who she would take in and she didn't limit herself to any form of mythology. If they were beasts and they were unwanted, she wanted them. And as such, amassed her own mini army of "children" willing to listen to her any command.
Earth doesn't know what hit it when she attacks them.
There are many monstrous forms she could take on, the first one I've thought of is a combination of various serpentine/reptilian features. The body of a naga -- her lower half long and serpentine, her upper still human -- with spiked fins connecting from the bottom of her arms to her sides, ever seen Sinbad where Eris goes "you might have seen my likeness on the temple walls" and her arms do that fin thingy? Same concept. Her hands are webbed and taloned, perfect for slicing through the skin of the living, and her teeth are needle-sharp and shark like. Her hair can either be spiny and feathery-like like the spines of a lionfish, or frilled like a frilled-neck lizard. It's perfect for dealing and doting on her reptilian and amphibian-inclined darlings.
I'm more of a fan of aus where Dan is a sibling of Danny's rather than their kid, so Layal's redemption(..?? probation?) proceeds with her legally becoming Danyal's "twin" sister, who had been lost to the foster system before the Fentons adopted Dany, and was only recently reunited with her. The two of them look so alike that the lie is easy to take root and spread.
Layal is very indignant to the fact that she's now ten years in the past and has to restart her menagerie all over again. Do you know how much blood and sweat went into raising those children? How dare you separate them from their mummy. Although she'll admit she does miss their juvenile years, so she won't mind (too much) needing to raising them again. Dany is helping her retrieve all of them though, dammit.
long story short: epic the musical's "Scylla" has a CHOKEHOLD on me and this is the result of it
Unlike her Dan counterpart, Layal's voice is dancing and sirenic. It's purposely alluring and motherly, in order to lure people into a false sense of security until she feeds them to her "children." Echidna doesn't have shit on her. She almost seems friendly and reasonable, until you get too close and realize it was all an act and she drops it to metaphorically swallow you whole. She's like an anglerfish that way. She and Dany both sound like Scylla from Epic.
#mother of monsters danny#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpdc#dpxdc au#dpxdc prompt#fem danny fenton#fem danyal al ghul#danyal al ghul#dany helps laya find one(1) beastie and instantly falls in love. laya does not need to convince her to come help her rob other ghosts blind#of their exotic “pets” or animals or whatever the reason they have beasts that they shouldn't for. she'll volunteer willingly its a trait#that they share. laya knows that raising her babies will be difficult now that she has to g back to *school* but dammit se's not leaving#them in the hands of the people she found them in. those are HER children fuck you.#Layal is the one to reveal to Damian that his older sister is alive and it was on purpose. It was to send him on a wild goose chase looking#for Dany in order to be around to save her from becoming Layal.#'Tragic. Terribly tragic; your dear sister had her soul ripped from her body and merged with another. What was left of her...'#'well. i put out of its misery.' she's very cloying towards damian and this is on purpose because she thinks its funny to get under his ski#goes out of her way to only ever refer to him as 'little brother' but if she can't she'll call him sickeningly sweet nicknames.#this happens about oooo midway 'redemption'? Where Laya is actually rather fond of Dany and is starting to consider her as a sister#as well. and she likes Ali. Laya herself is still rather unsympathetic to the world around her. only acts on a kindness for 'her people'#her people includes Dany which is why she even actually told Damian that Dany was alive and gave him an incentive to look for her#because she saw DAny mourning another lost birthday for her little brother and decided to go 'aw fuck who gave me feelings' and decided to#make it everyones problem.#starry rambles
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This might be a controversial take, but l don't think Eve deserves or should get a redemption arc.
#i have seen many people saying the she'll get a redemption arc#but although i see the vision i don't think it's gonna happen#or that it is necessary#i hate Eve as much as any of y'all#and what she did was WRONG#she shouldn't have used Grayson in such a way to such an extent and thinking of what she did DISGUSTS me#but do we talk about the circumstances that made her do it?#she was punished for something she didn't do throughout her life#she was treated like a burden#she was made to believe that she was not worth loving#all for something her parents did#growing under such conditions do you think she'd become a truthful lovely trusting little darling?#if you were in her place would you have trusted toby?#a man who left you even before you were born? (No hate to my man just describing how it would have been from eves pov)#Blake presented her with a solid opportunity and the odds were much more in her favour than anything in her life#again not justifying the horrible things she has done#but she is what she is#and you know what? a girl treated like her deserves to be like that#eve laughlin#the inheritance games#jameson hawthorne#grayson hawthorne#avery grambs#nash hawthorne#avery kylie grambs#xander hawthorne#tig#lyra kane#lyra catalina kane#lyrason
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shut up
#transformers#maccadam#drama#i like the cover#people saying it's too 'sexy' are the problematic sexists#this same shit happened with z0ner's cover. yes i bullied her too because i believed the stupid shit you guys were saying#I MANAGED TO GROW UP BUT YOU PEOPLE ARE STILL DOING THIS TOXIC SEXIST ASS DANCE#i thought i was the bad person but honestly it's yall and your bullying asses#you're disgusting for bullying artists just because they draw women how they want#GROW UP.#I LOVE DRAWING CURVY SLIM SEXY ROBOT GIRLS#THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT#WE SHOULD FILL THE WORLD WITH MORE OF THEM BECAUSE IT'S WHAT I WANT TO SEE#IF YOU WANT TO SEE SOMETHING ELSE... DO IT YOURSELF!!!! MAYBE ONE DAY THE COMPANY WILL LIKE YOUR ART ENOUGH TO HAVE IT ON A COVER#i like milne's stocky arcee just as much as average arcee from TFA just as much as svelte arcee in this cover#i really thought it was me that was why i left the fandom due to my ignorance but coming back and seeing this petty ass drama you guys#are unleashing... im realising that you guys are the problematic ones. omfg#you make it so unfun to be in this fandom. might as well publish the most recent animation i was working on then take the ones i've already#finished into hiding. you people suck the joy out of drawing for transformers.#transformers was my last bastion out of depression and you guys reminded me why people shouldn't get into transformers#getting back into tf revitalized my desire to draw and held me back from suicide. but knowing how toxic environment you guys are...#there's no reason to keep living with such inhospitable negative toxic bullies.
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"Don't scare me like that!!"
A little scene from my RP server eheh
#lan fan#lanfan#fma lan fan#lan fan fma#fma lanfan#lanfan fma#alphonse elric#al elric#fma alphonse#alphonse fma#fma#fmab#fma fanart#fma brotherhood#fullmetal alchemist#fullmetalchemist#fullmetal alchimist brotherhood#full metal alchemis brotherhood#who knows why the left eye was hit#what could she have been thinking about I wonder#dw guys she said sorry#shouldn't have hid that kunai from knox after all#thank god al is an armor question mark
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I think a reason I personally prefer selfship terms - which I see used more commonly over here on tumblr vs on twitter/bluesky where yume is more common - over yume terms is because most selfship terms are inherently neutral whereas with yume terms the feminine forms are always treated as the default. there are neutral non gender specific yume terms but I rarely see them used. it's almost always assumed that you're a cishet woman.
#self ship#mine#I HATE opening up about this online (and I shouldn't have to but I feel like I need to justify myself)#but I'm a trans man and god DAMN does it make me feel dysphoric as hell!#being a queer selfshipper is kind of hell you will always feel left out.
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Doctor Who | S3E4 | Daleks in Manhattan
#forgotten gifs left on my fiancé's laptop I really shouldn't have taken the time to mess with but the temptation was strong#tenth doctor#doctor who#david tennant#freema agyeman#martha jones#ten and martha#no one should look this hot sniffing and fondling disembodied brains but never put anything past David#the specs of sex#daleks in manhattan#rtd era#dwgifs#dwedit#my edit
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when scar died grian said "guys that would've happened even if there was no wild card. its not my fault"
like hes used to scars deaths being at his hands
#i never left the cactus ring#fgjndfkm#he blamed himself for the first death to a creeper#then witnessed scars second death when they were going to do enderman science#then killed scar with his own hands#in double life him and scar are together the first time they die and he blames scar a bit for breaking the block beneath him#then the second death he explicitly says “that wasn't scars fault. he couldn't see. i let him go. i shouldn't have let him go”#and blames himself#and then he gets them killed for their last death that season#so#suffice it to say#grian has a history of blaming himself for scars deaths#and is giving himself an explaination out of this one that its scar's nature and not his fault#grian#goodtimeswithscar#desert duo#cactus ring#wild life#wild life spoilers#3rd life#third life#double life#life series#pixls things
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timcassie is so compelling to me. they were not into each other even a little bit. it was such a messy coping mechanism fuelled entirely by grief. they were making out with each other because they were both substituting each other for kon. cassie was far more aware she was doing this than tim was. unironically, dating a girl here is one of the gayest things tim has done
#rimi talks#it is SO messy and its so fun. i don't think geoff even realized the implications but they sure are there when you read it#god... you know its BAD when modern comics have me missing tt03 of all Fucking comics#but like. todays ''tell don't show'' writers would N E V E R do something this interesting#tom taylor would be all. oh! tim we shouldn't kiss. i'm just substituting you for kon because i miss him and you were his best friend!#and then he'd have tim go oh wow cassie you're right i didn't realize that! my bad. all forgiven? yay!!! :)#GOD YOU KNOW ITS BAD OUT HERE WHEN I THINK *GEOFF* DID SOMETHING RIGHT. GOD. GOD#GEOFF MY MORTAL ENEMY GEOFF. grits teeth yeah geoffrey i have to give you this one............#its just such a deliciously unhealthy coping mechanism. theyre a MESS. theyre using each other. theyre only able to go on bc of each other#its not a romance but it IS a codependency#bart isn't even dead yet when this happens. like. he's just off being the flash.#bart (extremely depressed bc he couldnt stop sbp and hold him in the speed force forever): :| ok#not his circus. not his monkeys.#well it is his monkeys even if he left the circus. but he's too depressed to deal with it#but its so fun. this relationship is haunted. there's a ghost in the middle. they both want to kiss him instead of each other.#tim#cassie#timcassie
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My fav clip from David's interview on the Last Podcast on the Left! Such a great interview overall but this part makes me laugh without fail every time- David being so cutely passionate about the joker and the pod hosts riffing on the Joker Folie a Deux plot with him 😂😂🤡
(All video creds go to the Last Podcast on the Left)🤘🤘🤘
#basically if you have no interest in seeing joker folie a deux they basically describe the plot to Dave#and then ask him if he'd be interested in that as his joker movie role LOL#Dave is such a cutie pie my goodness#and his little response at the end is so cute LOL#I know he's a grown man but sometimes it's jarring to hear him swear because I'm like *what! 😲 a baby shouldn't be swearing🥺*🤣#let art the clown say fuck!#david howard thornton#David Howard Thornton joker#art the clown#terrifier#terrifier 2#terrifier 3#last podcast on the left
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listening to infinite's theme led me to drawing this au of mine again (i always forget abt it im sorry dear au) also an attempt at designing a mobian metal
#dark anarchy au#my art#uh yeah#i think metal should have a skirt. skirt shouldn't be left to only neo form </3#metal sonic#organic metal sonic#infinite the jackal#mephiles the dark#sth#sonic#sonic fanart#drug mention#<?#just in case#this au is just for sillies mostly#i get to dress them up and make them talk and hang out together#they're my barbies
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