#I should've known lol

[misc-obeyme]

yooo it’s ur weeb friend!!

lmao so asmo got banned from peru (and probably greece after the incident with helen BUT that’s water under the bridge) and levi got banned from japan for being too cringe-fail (the americans are already enough, NO MORE) but what about the others?

i feel like beel got banned from ireland after causing the great potato famine and from italy after eating all the pasta in the entire country once…

mammon got banned from vegas FOR SURE for causing a scene (not a country BUT he’s been banned from every casino in the US, and steadily working his way through canada and europe (starting with england) he’s making progress…

lucifer got banned from italy also for the vatican city incident. he wanted to see it cause he’d heard so much about it. no one is allowed to talk about it…but the brothers will tell you about it later if you want to know.

belphie and diavolo got banned from all of africa because due to a mix up they got blamed for spreading the sleeping sickness and malaria respectively (they didn’t actually do it but can’t seem to escape the allegations)

i think solomon got banned from mexico and all of south america and is the cause behind a lot of the superstitions based on devils/the occult there. people run from him in fear. he claims to not know why but you know there’s a reason. you can try to ask someone but they’re all too busy fleeing in terror.

barbatos claims he got banned from russia and china. no one knows why, not even diavolo. it’s one of the mysteries that he’s very secretive about, but legend has it that it’s related to something he did before he joined forces with diavolo.

i also think asmo got banned from india and some regions of france as well as various other european countries like spain and scotland but the stories behind those pretty much revolve around a party, drinking, and members of nobility. and they’re usually so long and crazy and asmo is always insistent he did nothing wrong and will leave out parts of the story to make himself sound good BUT if you’re a real history buff you can usually sus out what actually happened. or get him drunk. he always has loose lips when he drinks.

satan got banned from the americas (specifically north america) due to his rebellious streak/temper tantrum days resulting in the satanic panic. mostly caused by americans being rude and making him angry. he’s also a basis for a lot of mexico/south american superstition, though somehow…not as much as solomon?

just my silly lil ideas i wanted to share! what are your thoughts?? 🤔🤔🤔

Hello there, my friend!!

al;dskjfasdlksfj Beel causing the potato famine looool!

I definitely think they all have the potential to get banned for causing specific issues. Definitely Beel eating all of everything, Mammon causing trouble at casinos, and Asmo just getting drunk and partying too much.

I also think Mammon would be banned for doing something like insurance fraud. I don't know why but that just seems like something he'd get himself into. Or maybe it turns out he's the mastermind behind all the internet email scams asking you to send them thousands of dollars.

I think Lucifer has to be extra careful because uh... he's Lucifer. You would think he'd be banned from the Vatican before he ever even showed up there. Satan, too. Just stay away from religious locations when the religion in question considers you to be the source of evil, okay?? Though I would absolutely demand the story from the other brothers about the incident lol.

Okay see I headcanon Solomon spent a significant amount of time in the southwestern US just because he's always wearing that bolo tie lol. So I love the idea that he was also in Mexico and South America, just being the menace he always is. In the Devildom, the stuff he does isn't too weird, but can you imagine normal people in the human world encountering him and all his weird experiments? And if he was actually covered in pacts marks that look like demonic sigils? I have no doubt that he would be the source of years worth of superstitions.

I LOVE all ideas where Satan is the cause of any kind of Satantic activity anywhere. Like the Satanic panic was so ridiculous, but I love the idea of him causing it just by being angry about rude people.

I do think Satan could also have been banned from Japan - most specifically, Tashirojima where the cat population far surpasses that of the human one. Possibly also Hydra Island in Greece, which is another island known for its high cat population. I just think eventually they'd be like listen we appreciate how much you love the cats, but you need to leave now lol.

All of this seems more than enough to get any of them banned from the various human world locations they've caused trouble in. It's so funny to think about them running rampant in the human world. Lucifer out here probably acting like he'd never get banned, but he's caused his fair amount of problems, too.

[nanihirunkits]

#the worst™ kidnapper ever

KIDNAP | EP1

[abd-illustrates]

Ty to everybody who voted in those character polls! The results were a fun surprise haha -- I'll definitely be takin note of 'em next time I get to sit down n' do some heartless doodles! (^^)/

[suzukiblu]

A/B/O Omega Kon Alpha Darcy Lewis

Darcy thinks maybe her new intern is a slut. Like–a big one. Big ol’ slut. 

Both metaphorically and literally, since he's 6’3” of Kansas beefcake and maybe the literal only human being alive who has a build remotely comparable to Thor's. 

So like, a billion steroids or secretly an alien, Darcy’s assuming. Or maybe somebody’s very sexy sexbot because if this omega was built to spec to look like this there is no way he is not a sexbot. Only the thirstiest motherfucker alive would design that face and those thighs and those pecs. 

Darcy has very nice tits. Like, upper-echelon level ones, frankly, which she is not too modest to pretend otherwise about. This omega, however, has pecs that cannot be contained by any T-shirt or farmboy flannel, much less any respectable button-up or lab coat, plus abs that can’t be contained by any of those either and an ass that somebody could bounce a quarter off. No matter how technically professionally he’s dressed, this omega looks like he’s starring in the first five minutes of a porno about a naughty lab assistant. Even his stupid glasses look like the cheapo fake ones that the naughty lab assistant only ever wears to get come spattered all over them. 

So like, that's been constantly haunting her and also making her feel like one of the creeps who only hires interns they wanna fuck. 

Darcy swears that she did not actually see Conner Kent in person before she hired him. She didn’t even see his face; they did a phone interview because the internet at his parents’ farm is apparently too spotty for Zoom. When he actually showed up she'd assumed he was a prank from the engineering department and actually a stripper or something. 

In her defense, literally any pair of pants that Conner Kent wears just looks like tearaway pants, alright? Just he wears every pair of pants like he could rip them straight off at a moment’s notice. It is frankly a problem. There are so, so many people finding thinly-veiled excuses to swing by her lab and ogle the dude while he’s just doing normal labwork while being too damn hot for any human being to actually be expected to be, especially in a lab environment, and he has definitely fucked his way through a good eighty percent of said oglers already, more than once during work hours. 

Whatever, it was always over his lunch break and he’s always polite enough to use the decon shower to get the sex pheromones off after, so Darcy’s not gonna judge. Be incredibly jealous of whoever’s pheromones he’s washing off, maybe, but not judge. 

And in fine “inherited from Jane Foster” tradition, the guy’s not even a science major and is only here for the college credits. He’s actually an art major, in fact, which is presumably why he keeps doodling weird designs in the margins of all her paperwork and leaving bafflingly perfect mini-sculptures around the lab. Darcy does not even know how he makes sculptures that good so quick. She has literally never even seen him with any sculpting tools or anything, but definitely she has seen all the tiny farm animals and superheroes and tropical flowers he keeps leaving all over the place. 

So like, her shiny new intern is a super-hot omega the size of an Asgardian warrior who cannot say a single sentence without it coming out flirty, but also likes to make cute little clay flowers and brings in something unfairly delicious that his blue-ribbon baker mom made to share at least twice a week, and also is just way too genuine and sincere and open as a person and even more ‘also’ will roll with literally any weird or insane thing that she says and then “yes, and?” her. 

Darcy really, really swears that she did not deliberately hire an intern she wants to fuck. She swears. 

Conner Kent, on the other hand, did not button his button-up all the way today on account of how his pecs are just shy of busting out of it as it is, and she is despairing over all the opinions that her knot has about the sight of both his cleavage and his bare and noticeably unbitten throat. 

Why couldn’t this stupid gorgeous farmboy wear a turtleneck just one day? It’s fall! Fall is perfect turtleneck weather! Or like he could wear one of those heavy cable-knit sweater dresses or something, maybe, and then look like the sexiest thing she’s ever wanted to cuddlefuck, which is not even a word, and oh god why is she like this. Why. Whyyyyy. 

Why. 

She is going to Hell, Darcy is very much certain. Like, whatever circle of it that creeps who wanna fuck their interns go to, that’s gonna be her eternal return address. 

“Shit, lost another stupid button,” Conner grumbles, making a face down at his shirt as he hooks a finger into the collar of it and tugs. “Oh, hey, boss, meant to ask, you want the huckleberry cheesecake or the orange creamsicle cake, or do you just wanna split ‘em?” 

. . . never mind, she’s already in Hell, Darcy notes. 

“Your mom is absolutely terrifying,” she says frankly. “How does any one beta bake this much?” 

“I mean, we kinda do it together, usually,” Conner replies with a shrug, leaning forward across his desk to pop open the same dessert tupperware he always brings and offer her one of the plastic forks inside. Darcy heroically does not check out his cleavage or actively salivate over his naked neck or go absolutely rabid over the knowledge that he apparently also bakes. “Actually I made the creamsicle cake solo, Ma had book club this week.” 

Darcy stares blankly at him, then takes the fork, stabs up a forkful of the orange creamsicle cake, and sticks it in her mouth. 

“Nrgaeggh,” she says. Conner blinks at her, looking puzzled. 

“Did I use too much sugar again?” he asks. 

“Nrgaeggh,” Darcy says, and anyway that’s how she follows another fine “inherited from Jane Foster” tradition and fucks the beefcake alien omega. In her defense, she didn’t really think Conner was an alien until he accidentally made all the lab equipment float when he sat down on her knot, and like what is she, a xenophobe or something? Priorities, dammit. Obviously. 

Though they do admittedly lose some of the glassware because of the weird alien telekinesis, but whatever. Again: priorities. 

Darcy also learns that yes, in fact, Conner Kent is in fact the biggest and most enthusiastic slut that she has ever met in her life, and she is so going to give that fact all the appreciation it so rightly deserves. And him. Also him. Definitely, definitely also him. 

“Damn, I shoulda made that cake weeks ago, boss,” Conner pants as he grins cockily down at her, his face all flushed and smug and his thighs very Thighs(tm) and his stupid button-up shirt even less buttoned-up than before. Darcy is starting to suspect that Conner might actually be buying his shirts a size small on purpose. Like, that is definitely a thing that she is starting to suspect about him. 

Well, then it’s probably really tight on him, isn’t it, and she should help him out of it. 

Like she said: priorities. 

[keiksy-cake]

Germany's second page from the Hetalia Collezione

Official revisions included "just like shojo manga!" to "maybe he likes cute things?", and the addition of "his casual clothes are often described as "dad-like"

all collezione pages

[Please note, I’m an amateur in Japanese and have to use various resources and translation machines to help me. If you notice a possible mistake or want clarification, please bring it up to me *politely* and not aggressively or hostile.]

[kitausuret]

I bring a kind of "Dan Slott was the first writer to explicitly state that the Venom Symbiote loved Eddie Brock (and he used Mac Gargan to do it)" vibe to the fandom that the other readers don't really like

(Amazing Spider-Man #573, Slott/Romita Jr, just in case you thought I was kidding.)

[codchrist]

But Dave Metlzer said it was legit in the last report

Okay I'm confused.......

@axelwolf8109 @jazzy-tzw @glowingz @flawlessglamazon

[wereh0gz]

The Minecraft movie would've been so good if they'd just. Made it in earnest

[zeep-xanflorp]

omg just rewatched s7 finale and morty was in the background of every scene rick shared with diane. he was THERE. the WHOLE TIME. ofc rick wasn't rlly in the hole. holy shit.

[aarafox]

On Stolitz, Desire and Misunderstandings

I’ve thought about them so much for the past few days that I just have to put my thoughts somewhere. This might be far from structured/coherent but contains everything that has been running around in my brain lately. Feel free to interact with me about this because they’re driving me insane (in a positive way).

Quick disclaimer: I’ve watched everything in nearly one sitting a few days ago and am new to the fandom, so I might be unaware of commonly known info or things the creators have said or confirmed. If you come across any of my questions that have been answered already, please forgive me for not knowing and feel free to enlighten me! Let’s begin~

 The main thing that got me thinking about this so much is Blitz’s line in ep 7 when he brings Stolas home after their failed date: “Don’t act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you, okay? You make that really clear, all the time.”

But the thing is, he is wrong. We as the viewer know this, how Stolas chokes on his food when he sees that Blitzy calls, how he lunges to pick up the phone and how his eyes turn into little hearts when he hears the question. If anything, Stolas is smitten with Blitz.

He even calls Gabriella a “mood” when she asks Alejandro why he won’t love her. It’s indisputable that he’s thinking about Blitz here.

And how much he actually likes Blitz becomes even more clear to us at the start of season 2, when they’re kids. Stolas falls in love at first sight and blushes several times.

And then, 25 years later, he is delighted to meet Blitz again. After the initial (joking?) assumption that Blitz has come here to “ravish him”, he tries to make gentle conversation and asks him how he’s been. Blitz is the one who decides to initiate sexual relations—that is, he pretends to start it, and decides to keep it up when he hears Stolas chirp about how happy he is that it’s his “first ever friend” who wants to do him. But Stolas, before this, was surprised by Blitz’s advances and unsure how to react. Stolas, if anything, has to believe that Blitz is very sexually attracted to him.

That is why Blitz’s line in episode 7 fascinates me this much; one would think the reverse of what he says is true. Stolas has no reason whatsoever to believe that Blitz ever wanted more from him than sex/the grimoire, especially with how their relations began. So it strikes me that apparently, to Blitz, it hurts him to think that Stolas wants nothing else from him. He even begins to cry there in the van as he begins to reject the prince.

See the tears in his eyes? Why is that? Is he embarrassed? Angry? Does he feel guilty for putting Stolas in a “disgraceful” picture? Is he thinking about entirely different things that happened to him in the past?

And Stolas cries when Blitz is gone, because, well, he does think of Blitz as more than a sex friend. He was so excited to be asked out by him, he made himself look pretty, tried his best to make conversation with him, thought Blitz was actually taking him on their first date ever! He thought Blitz had called him out because he wanted to spend time with him, so he did his best to make the date a success, but all he received from Blitz was, well, nothing… He even tried to end the night on a more positive note by asking Blitz to come inside for something other than sex, perhaps to drink some wine and talk about what happened (or watch a movie, or cuddle 🥺). But when he hears that his sentiment of just wanting to spend time together has never come across—not now, not ever before—and Blitz actually believes Stolas just wants to frolic, that’s when Stolas leaves it for what it is and ends up crying.

(God I feel so bad for him, my heart)

And he spends a LONG time trying to show Blitz, via his texts, that sex is not the only thing that he’s after.

But he only gets one-word responses from Blitz. Nothing, literally nothing to keep going on. It’s no wonder he loses faith in that whatever they had could ever be anything more. And Blitz probably has commitment issues or is afraid of things not working out and he ends up keeping Stolas at a distance—until it’s too late.

And it just kills me that he does care about Stolas but somehow won’t admit it, won’t show it. And yet he sounds so hurt there in that van, when he accuses Stolas of merely wanting to be his sex friend. And he actually cries. For that reason, and for many other reasons not all clearly laid out for us.

Meanwhile Stolas has been crushing on him for 25 years. It’s only natural for him to propose the deal they made: he wants Blitz to be close to him (and he assumes Blitz enjoyed sex with him that first time, since he slept there for the entire night while at first only claiming he could do it “real fast”) and Blitz wants his grimoire. This is the perfect way for Stolas to get Blitz to be with him, because, frankly, he doesn’t have many other reasons to meet up with him. So they make this deal: Stolas gets to be together with him for once a month, and Blitz gets the grimoire. Perfect right?

Except when Stolas discovers that Blitz doesn’t even begin to know how much Stolas actually cares. That’s why he keeps sending those long texts, he tries so hard to let Blitz know they could be doing anything else and he’d love that too. That night after the date he already begins with those attempts, by telling him he enjoyed spending time with Blitz and suggesting things to do inside which Blitz misunderstands for him trying to get him into his bed.

But damn, if that was all Stolas was after, he wouldn’t get so depressed that he’d drink until passing out. He is heartbroken. And somehow, for some reason, so is Blitz. The first thing he does when he gets home is opening his phone to a selfie he took of them while Stolas was asleep.

And others have pointed this out as well, but Stolas doesn’t know about this picture and that Blitz smiled while he took it. On all the pictures Stolas has of Blitz, Blitz looks like he’s not enjoying himself at all.

So what must he think when he sends Blitz his reply that he could be in the hospital for a while in case he wants to visit, and Blitz doesn’t answer?

Well, that Blitz doesn’t want to come. That he doesn’t care enough.

Indeed, if there’s anyone who hasn’t been showing his true feelings or intentions, it’s Blitz. Stolas compliments him, calls him darling and “his” Blitzy, makes himself pretty for their date, and (for instance in ep 2 of season 2) blushes big time multiple times.

He’s had it bad for Blitz for ages, but he (correctly? incorrectly?) concludes that this is not mutual. And he has every reason to think so! Blitz treats their sexy adventures as a business transaction, is all serious and stoic to Stolas about it except for the rare occasion where he does show how much he likes it, like after Stolas rescues him from the demon hunters and he grins and seduces Stolas before kissing him.

But the times when Blitz talks about them to others? Those are moments Stolas doesn’t know about and doesn’t get to see, like when Blitz talks to Striker and stutters like mad trying to explain what they are and aren’t. He never outright says that they’re not dating. He doesn’t even deny Millie’s words when she says they’re boyfriends.

(M&M totally know I’m wheezing)

It just drives me insane how Blitz isn’t honest with his feelings, especially towards Stolas. He probably chooses to believe that Stolas only wants to have sex with him, because that’s more convenient and safer for him, and enables him to keep Stolas at a distance.

Perhaps that is why he never properly responds to Stolas’s texts, never jumps to the opportunity to agree to Stolas’s indirectly asked questions or suggestions. Getting closer might be a bad idea somehow—but after those texts he has to understand what the prince’s intentions are, right? They just don’t talk about it at all; we also aren’t told whether they still do it or not, or just exchange the book like Stolas’s texts suggest. This is striking compared to season 1, where we got scenes of them in bed or talking about their next meet up.

It isn’t until Stolas’s life is in actual danger when Blitz begins to realise how much he cares.

“He can get hurt?” His eyes are trembling with disbelief. After that he finally sends Stolas a text first, and then begins typing again, and stops. I imagine he started typing a yes, but stops himself for some reason. I really hope they’ll show us what Blitz was thinking in that moment. Why would he not go to see Stolas? Because he feels guilty? Because he’s afraid he’ll start caring even more when he sees him wounded in that bed?

But again, for Stolas this just means that he doesn’t care, and the poor owl curls up and turns away from his phone.

[paperhats-and-evil-schemes]

Black Hat lunged at his counterpart, body contorting into a vicious conglomeration of teeth, smoke, tendrils, and distorted bone. An echoing symphony of shrill, unholy roars filled the room as the enraged demon carried out his onslaught, ripping into White Hat’s body with a fury unparalleled to anything Flug’s seen from him before. And considering how much Flug's seen already...

I wanted to make BH way bigger but then WH would look too smol to see well enough haha

@ Nosy anon, I promise I'll come up with a proper actual snippet to respond to this one of these days, but in the meantime, have this random impulse drawing and a very very short paragraph of fic to go along with it lol?

[secretagent9]

it's really funny, realizing that you've subconsciously surrounded yourself with ace people your whole life. i think we're all naturally drawn to each other, but like... people huddling together at a bus stop to get out of the rain. it's a survival thing, mostly, until the rain stops and you start talking about your favorite anime with everybody and sharing silly stories you've made and

...i've run out of metaphor. anyway, sex isn't real, writers and musicians made it up to sell books and albums. god bless 'em for it.

[spurgie-cousin]

someone posted about a "homesteading" conference specifically for women that was happening near me and i was genuinely interested bc i just like to learn about practical skills like that, growing food, building shit, etc. Usually those kinds of events are super male dominated and there's always some kind of conspiracy or political twist, like "preparing for the apocalypse after COVID vaccines have turned the entire population into zombies" or w/e so I don't really go to many.

so I put my name on the list for more info and found out today that only one part of the conference is exclusively for women and that's a "homemaking panel" 😒😒😒. and I'm not opposed to learning practical home skills at all but the byline of the info packet said "the American family is under attack" so unfortunately I think that's gonna be a hard pass

[callixton]

just read a leverage fic and went hmm. this style feels like a west wing writer. and if not that then someone who's dabbled in a sorkin work and if not then there r other writers who have a similar style which i could identify. but like surely i'm just projecting. checked their profile and Guess What

[isat-script-project]

Postponing request 2 until like... wednesday. Turns out the daydreaming one is a mess of self event checks and switches i don't know where they get flipped, which i cannot be bothered to untangle right now! Sorry!

[running-in-the-dark]

still no internet, also I had a bit of a breakdown over our dishwasher today (the damn thing doesn't fit with the door that we've got, but we'll figure it out, and if not I'll just explode or whatever).

BUT. I started listening to The Thursday Murder Club yesterday because it was on my phone and I've listened to almost all the other audiobooks on there now, and oh my god? I love it so much. haven't been obsessed with a book in a long long time but this might do it lol