#I should really focus on my other stories but eh

[whatudottu]

Something about Altered Loyalties CYLAS just really makes me want to include him in the first place but also makes me really really REALLY think that with the more supernatural elements of AL based off of the original TFP pilot (or just first episode/s?) that CYLAS as a ‘dead man walking’ would actually let him stay around longer AND also be a very significant contributing factor to Megatron’s downfall in Decepticon favour!

Of course it’s not as if I have the pieces of the TFP rewrite au firmly put into place, CYLAS in canon shows up just over halfway into season 2, and many of my most established changes occur in the first like… including all the parts of ‘Darkness Rising’ 8 episodes of season one; I have no idea if the environment CYLAS presents himself in is the same one canon CYLAS does.

But with the dubiousity between s1 e8 all the way to s2 e19, I’ll establish the basic context… I think in story mode maybe…

Looking at the general timeline for the Aligned Continuity, it says that the first contact of cybertronians on Earth is dated to about 500 years before the show, give or take a decade. I’ve been listing Skyquake’s little EHP pitstop to have existed at least 50 years before the war reached our planet, but what if I pushed it all the way back to 500; if a vorn is 83 years, that’d be about 6 years on an entirely different planet not knowing truly if your twin is going to make it, a planet which by the way presently has no established radio systems that it’s horrifically quiet for a terrestrial environment.

That means that Skyquake’s EHP Comms Array has been transmitting a signal long before humans had developed radio, which also means that what might’ve been blatantly an anomaly in the system if discovered 50 odd years previous to 2012 (which would’ve been in the 60s give or take which would not have been good in the literal middle of the cold war era) has been going for centuries because it had always been there, there is no anomaly because it is a signal that has existed ever since humans were able to manipulate radiowaves into sending messages and translate them into detectable noise. It helps that cybertronian language and code (both code lang and like literal programming code) is a system unknown to humans developing their own language.

And you may be asking, why did I divert this post from talking about CYLAS and how he’d outlast his canon alternate to radio shit? Well, if you were a paramilitary organisation who is pretty good at erasing signals and you discovered a signal that has been actively running for the entirety of human radio has suddenly been silenced, what would you begin to suspect at that?

Aliens may potentially be a stretch but MECH didn’t just name themselves after the cybertronians fighting war on their planet, and once the cybertronian conflict touched down on Earth, the Decepticons hadn’t a need for an intergalactic communications array and in fact was specifically instructed to switch it off in an effort to prevent the Autobots from using it. That would’ve been about maybe 6 years ago for the show (wow just enough equivalent time to match what Skyquake felt he spent grounded to one radio tower look at that) and though MECH would not encounter their first cybertronian until ‘Convoy’ (haha wait that’s s1 e9 the next ep to cover - if necessary - for Altered Loyalties lmao), they would’ve had 6 years to find that missing signal and stumble across some very definitely alien technology.

That is one of the reasons why the rewrite of ‘Masters and Students’ which is less masters and students focused - rather the point is Skyquake, a team of Nemesis stationed vehcions and Starscream investigate the comms array and set it up manually - why the radio tower wasn’t switching on from a remote position.

The other reason was because the Guardian unit stationed at the comms array - the very ones that had accompanied Skyquake all those stellar cycles ago - had gone missing. Why?

Because of Megatron’s flagrant use of Dark Energon.

Points 1 and 2 listed above leads to the explosion of the comms array, the death of Skyquake, and MECH either being alerted to the point of alien contact or just in general going to the site for more study only to find a dead specimen. After the discovery of the Autobots with the body of Skyquake, MECH begins their initial study and dissection of cybertronian physiology, though without a live subject they couldn’t exactly see what parts function in what way, especially the t-cog.

The discovery of Skyquake led to the discovery of terrorcons which lead to the discovery of how to take down a cybertron and how to take it apart without it screaming. MECH would learn the programming of a cybertronian through vehicon terrorcons since, even with DE corruption, their processors are still somewhat being maintained. While probably not able to access memories (they are fickle things, memory centres, easy to damage storage or to corrupt files) there are still systems responsible for pain and other more processor based responsibilities that aren’t centred in a physical organ that reads in fine print it’s function.

Breakdown being MECH’s first fully functional living mecha for their study is so exciting for them (even if Breakdown is very much less enthused) because they can put what knowledge they’ve pieced together to be far more efficient with their time and focus on the elements they could not decipher from either corpse or zombie and potentially try and prod at Breakdown’s brain for some cohesive coding. Good think Bulkhead still shows up when he does even with Breakdown walking away with the dreadful thought of ‘how the hell do these fleshies already know so much’ boring into his head… mainly through the optic that was still drilled out-

Whether or not MECH needs to get another living cybertronian to get caught up in their understanding of the biomechanics of them (aka would 'Operation: Bumblebee' take place as it does) or they skip right onto making a remote control Prime having gotten a headstart on their knowledge and scaring the scrap out of any bot unlucky enough to be unconscious around them, eventually Silas gets smooshed and MECH scientists are reliant on their alien dissections to get the human puree back to the land of the living.

I'd assume that this was the case in the original since if Silas' biomatter was able to be collected from a pile of robot drone induced rubble the RC truck would've been able to be recovered as well, but MECH discovers that using Nemesis Prime as a lifesupport system does not work given all it's functionality is focused on visually replicating another cybertronian, rather than using it to create life. There's a lot of parts and systems to a cybertronian's biological ecology that wasn't put into consideration for a mimic toy that prove detrimental to creating a suitable ah... skin suit essentially for Silas' blood pudding, but MECH has an abundance of corpses ready and raring to be used just so long as they piece them back together again.

Amid MECH's collection would no doubt be a mass of vehicon bodies - some untouched by energon others taken down explicitly by MECH because they were terrorcons - some terrorcons made up from the bodies of the previous conflict pre-show (and not just a hypothetical ancient war, but explicitly the conflict that culled a lot of Autobot and Decepticon officers amid the show expected vehicon death), and the very first cybertronian sample they started studying, Skyquake himself! Being at the origin of the blast at the EHP Comms Array he wasn't kept in perfect condition for one, the arm he loses as a terrorcon in the Shadowzone is still lost - it's been buried under rubble after being severed with radio tower pieces - and the monochromatic glass over his optics has long since been shattered so you can see the 'pupil' aka sensor, but seeing as how CYLAS makes Breakdown's corpse somehow look worse than what Airachnid left it as MECH probably has to suture that fucker back up because there's not way his organs have been left untouched!

And once CYLAS has been successfully integrated into his new cybertronian shell (some sort of arm, either being a loaner from another corpse or straight up just one MECH invented, it could even be a copy of the missing arm but where's the fun in that) instead of getting all high and mighty about 'being of a superior species' Silas actually bloody thinks on MECH's plans going forward. With a literal army of paramilitary personnel, from the scientists that melded human flesh with cybertronian wires to the average grunt soldier fighting between the battles of iron giants, CYLAS has something that Megatron (at least the Altered Loyalties Megatron I have written previously) has wanted from the start of the series...

An undying force.

For as large as cybertronians physically are their numbers can never match the scale of humanity, I can't remember if the books mentioned only thousands of the dead or up to a million over the course of like... a long fucking time but, that's not even the number of the human population if you're caught up with the number (nearly 8 billion alive today). And with the dead of previous battles already roaming the Earth, in a world where Megatron still being only like one dude can't command a planet wide population of zombies, the only reason he doesn't turn his blade to the weakest denominators of his forces in his plagued state is because their conscious decision to serve him is worth more than mindless servitude.

CYLAS introducing himself and MECH as a solution to this issue, and providing a show of bountiful body horror, makes not even the Decepticon high command quite as safe as they had been; not that it's been proven to be safe standing by Megatron's side given his track record of wanting his SiCs beaten or killed but...

The fact that CYLAS just so happened to have given and then promptly brutalised Dreadwing's hope that Skyquake may have been actually alive, just severely damaged (and, bond weakened from distance and prior injury, clinging to the last shreds of 'my spark didn't kill me with him' reasoning) and broke him out of the spell of blind loyalty to his once great leader.

CYLAS in this version has a little bit more longevity to his existence within the Decepticon forces, not actually a Decepticon soldier as the canon CYLAS pledged himself as but 'The Human Factor' the episode so calls itself akin to the way the American government and the human children are to the Autobots, but being able to physically go toe-to-toe with cybertronians. Megatron might be a little tired of dealing with independents after Airachnid's escapade (I do intend to make her more into a poacher/torturer type character than another Starscream so she might act out a little differently), but Silas isn't one for licking boots anytime soon and as CYLAS, Megatron is no different; you'd think he wouldn't have even done that in the first place given he's already an ex-military 'take-no-nonsense' bitch, but the Breakdown in him probably made him a lapdog...

Anyway that's a whole big post about Altered Loyalties CYLAS... or at least the in depth reasoning behind why he could still integrate himself into the story and why he'd probably have more opportunity to lasting- i prommy it's not bc i like torturing skyquake likers *wink*

I guess this is now a canon event or at least I'll try to make it canon ;)

[mallo-person]

Gaa okay so yeah might have ADHD and autism but not gonna confirm until I can get diagnosed because fuck that I guess.

Just, do autistic people have a hard time being able to sit in silence? Like uhh your brain doesn't say a lot of stuff while sitting outside untill a "oncr in a blue moon" moment accures for like a minute?

I'maa not think to hard about it, am just curious, since I relate to both symptoms online and am gonna try to get diagnosed once I got the cash money for it 🧍

[yelena-bellova]

Heartfirst: A Ted Lasso Story - Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen: Break My Heart

Plot: With Y/n and Jamie not speaking to one another, a trip to Manchester brings about opportunity and heartache.

Word Count: 8k

Warnings: f!reader, language, insinuated smut, mention of abusive parents

A/N: THIS is the chapter I’ve been looking forward to the most. Even though this isn’t the conclusion, I think it’s what the whole thing’s been building to. Well, this is part one of it, at least. I’m gonna shut up now and just let you read. Enjoy!!

—————

Sam Obisanya: Remember that movie we were looking forward to? It’s coming out on Friday. Want to catch it this weekend?

Colin Hughes: Haven’t seen you around lately. Everything alright?

Dani Rojas: We missed you at Isaac’s birthday dinner! Come visit us next time you are free!

Rebecca Welton: Your tea’s cold. Keeley’s confirmed you’re not dead. Several questions.

Ted Lasso: What’s shaking, Abe Lincoln? Don’t be a stranger next time you’re meeting with the boss.

There had been an onslaught of texts in the three weeks since Y/n had moved out of the Dogtrack. She hadn’t expected people to not notice she was gone, but she hadn’t thought so many of them would care.

She’d ignored every single one.

She wasn’t the only one who’d chosen to stick with Keeley. Barbara had stayed on as well. With Rebecca’s generous financing, the three of them were keeping their ship afloat all by themselves. Jack be damned.

True to her word, Y/n handled all Richmond business from afar, only popping in with Keeley for an occasional meeting with Rebecca and Higgins. She sorted press conferences and post-match interviews without ever stepping foot in the building. If it weren’t so unhealthy, it would have been impressive.

In her makeshift office, actually the conference room, Y/n paced around her computer. She eyed the screen each time she passed by. Roy had a presser scheduled for the afternoon. Sam and…another player were meant to join him. Sam she could handle seeing, though Lord knows she felt guilty for ghosting him. The other one…

“Oh,” Y/n waved herself off, feeling ridiculous. She was a grown woman. She could handle it, she thought, as she turned on the video feed.

Springing to life on her screen, Roy sat between Sam and Jamie, fielding questions.

Y/n’s insides locked up. Jamie.

They hadn’t spoken since the night he’d shown up at her apartment. Not a single text or run-in. It was no longer just Y/n avoiding him, Jamie was actively not speaking to her.

Y/n tried to focus on Sam’s answers, he spoke humbly about Richmond’s 15-game win streak. The last three had been unbelievable you-had-to-be-there kind of matches. Hiding in her apartment with a Sky Sports broadcast hadn’t compared to the real thing. Y/n missed the energy of the stadium and the joy of watching the boys.

Her eyes kept floating back to Jamie. He was hunched over the table, biting his nails, not making eye contact with anyone. He didn’t look like he wanted to be there at all.

Marcus Adebayo, though he answered to Roy’s nickname of ‘better Trent,’ stood and addressed Jamie. “On the heels of making your England debut, how does it feel to be named Premier League Player of the Month?”

“Eh, um, yeah. Yeah, it feels good, I guess,” Jamie answered hesitantly, “But it’s really the team making me look good. So, I should be doing a better job of making them look good, really.”

If Y/n had been in the room, Sam, Roy and her would have all shared the same puzzled look.

“So, yeah. Makes me feel bad,” Jamie finished with a pursed frown.

Roy leaned forward, “Uh, Jamie also led the league in assists this month so he’s done plenty to make his teammates look good.”

“Yeah, but they’re the ones who took all the shots,” Jamie corrected softly.

“He also scored a goal,” Sam interjected.

“T-that was meant to be a pass,” Jamie pointed out, his voice high with anxiety, “You shouldn’t count that. That goal is a lie. It should be retracted from the records.”

Y/n shook her head in confusion, whispering to the empty room, “What are you doing?”

“I apologize to everyone,” Jamie continued, “Especially to the kids.”

“Right, let’s call it there, everyone,” Roy decided at the exact second Y/n was internally stepping forward, “That was great. Thanks very much.”

Y/n stared at the screen, her gaze following Jamie until he was off camera. Whoever had been speaking wasn’t any variation of the Jamie Tartt she knew. He was so out of character it was concerning.

She glanced at her phone, the device silently begging her to type a message. Ask him. Talk to him. Find out what’s wrong. Help him.

Instead, Y/n took a deep breath, closed out the browser, opened her email and got back to work. No good could come from her reaching out. Jamie would be absolutely fine without her, better even. And she would be fine without him.

—————————

Y/n wasn’t a woman who ever thought a man’s presence added anything to a situation she couldn’t. But as she heaved the water jug onto the cooler, she wished that she hadn’t sent the delivery guy away under the assumption she could do it herself.

She returned to the main room to find Keeley in conversation with Roy, both of them turning to face her.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Roy asked.

Y/n motioned to the space around them, “I work here.”

“No, you don’t,” he replied matter-of-factly, “You work at Richmond.”

“Y/n has been here the last few weeks,” Keeley answered, “Just to get things back up and running while we’re short staffed.”

Roy took deep pride in not interjecting himself into anyone else’s business. Sure, he’d helped Isaac through whatever the fuck had caused his meltdown last month. Yes, he offered Ted advice from time to time. But the other 99% of the time, he didn’t particularly care what choices the people around him made. Their lives were theirs and his was his.

But Jamie and Y/n were another fucking deal.

He wouldn’t have invited Y/n along to their 4AM training sessions if he hadn’t known she helped keep Jamie’s spirits up. He’d caught the two of them leaving the parking lot together more than a dozen times. He’d noticed Jamie be the first one on the pitch whenever Y/n was observing training and the first one off when she was waiting on him for lunch. He was well aware the two of them were attached at the fucking hip. Y/n’s disappearance had thrown everything off-balance. Maybe it wasn’t the reason for Jamie breaking down in Roy’s arms earlier, but it certainly couldn’t be helping.

“Oh,” Roy humored the answer, smiling at Y/n. “That’s very kind of her.”

Y/n grinned back nervously, Roy could see through everyone’s bullshit but his own.

“She could help too,” Keeley suggested.

“Help with what?” Y/n asked.

Keeley gestured to Roy for an explanation. “Jamie’s going through some shit. I asked Keeley to talk to him, but since you two are close, maybe you could too.”

Big fat flashing red sirens went off in Y/n’s head. “Oh, I really don’t think I’d help anything,” she struggled, “I-I think Keeley’s much more suited.”

“Not necessarily,” Keeley disagreed as Roy continued to stare Y/n down, “I mean, you two are really good friends.”

“We’re not that close,” Y/n lied, “I mean, we’ve hung out a couple of times but really,” she extended a hand toward her boss, “You definitely know him better.”

Unlike her ex, Keeley had no problem inserting herself in other people’s business. She hadn’t yet approached Y/n about the headlines she and Jamie had made after the England match or the fact that she didn’t want to go near Nelson Road. Since coming back from London, Y/n had pulled away from everyone and everything, Keeley included.

Roy was taking some sick joy in egging Y/n on, “Oh, no, I think-“

“I’ll take care of it,” Keeley jumped to say, ending whatever confrontation was about to take place. “Promise.”

Y/n and Roy held eye contact, challenging one another to break first. Eventually, Roy’s desire to look at Keeley won out and he turned away.

“Thanks,” he glanced back over at Y/n, “I’ll leave you two to your work.”

Stealing one more fleeting gaze at his ex-girlfriend, Roy left the way he’d come, leaving Y/n with a whole new bunch of unresolved feelings.

“He’s quite handsome.”

Y/n startled, she hadn’t even realized Barbara was seated at her desk for the whole exchange. She headed for the conference room, eager to get away from every part of the conversation.

Keeley hung back a moment before following her and gently knocking on the door. “Hi,” she entered slowly, “Everything alright?”

“Yeah,” Y/n answered with faux cheeriness, seated once more at her desk/table, “Fine.”

“It’s just back there…you seemed a bit on edge when Roy mentioned Jamie,” Keeley broached the topic with care.

Y/n’s muscles involuntarily clenched, she tried to keep an even expression. “No, I’m fine.”

Keeley hesitated, nearly turning around and leaving before deciding to just go for it. “You know, if this is about the pictures of you two, I don’t think anyone thinks-“

Y/n sighed, “Keeley, I’m fine. I just think Roy should do his fucking job and take care of his players instead of pawning them off on one of us.”

“I’m not talking about Roy,” Keeley replied, “I’m talking about-“

“Jamie and I are not close,” Y/n said, her tone harsher than intended, “We are not friends. There’s nothing wrong with him, we’re just not as chummy as everyone seems to think we are. End of story.”

Keeley knew Y/n’s edges were sharp, but she hadn’t ever seen her snap so quickly. It only told her there was more to the issue than she’d guessed.

“Got it,” she gave a single nod, “I’m sorry I asked.”

Y/n regretted her words the moment she’d said them. Keeley hadn’t deserved her misplaced frustration. But the mere mention of that night triggered Y/n’s fight-or-flight response. Mixed with the knowledge that something was wrong with Jamie and that Roy clearly knew something, it was all too much.

She stared out the conference room window, landing on Keeley and Barbara’s desks they’d pushed together. She could have been with them, working together as a team. Instead, she was hiding away, once again deciding that the isolation could keep her safe from everything.

Everything except the gnawing fear that she was responsible for Jamie’s behavior.

—————————

Finally, the long awaited weekend arrived.

Man City versus Richmond.

Y/n left no stone unturned when searching for a new excuse not to attend the match. She’d had her period the first week of her three week absence, sick and exhausted the next two. If she’d had any family in the country, there would have been some fake emergency involving them.

She knew she couldn’t get away with a full month’s nonattendance. She had to go to Manchester.

Packing an overnight bag at 6AM and getting on the road by 7 had been her self-ruled terms. The last thing Y/n wanted was to be stuffed on a bus with everyone she was trying to avoid for four hours. Driving herself allowed not only space, but an escape route, if she needed it.

She was barely out of London when Keeley rang her. “Hi.”

“Hi,” the Bluetooth speakers of the car projected Keeley’s voice, “We’re loading the bus up. Just wanted to see where you were.”

Y/n sighed, she’d forgotten to tell someone she wasn’t coming with the team. “Actually, I’m already on the road. I couldn’t sleep so I figured I’d get an early start.”

“Oh,” Keeley sounded a bit disappointed, but not entirely surprised, “That makes sense. Smart choice.”

“Yeah,” Y/n replied, feeling the familiar burn in her gut that came with each lie she told, “I’m a bit ahead of you guys so I’ll see you when you get there.”

“Alright. Drive safe, yeah?”

“You too,” she said before disconnecting the call.

Y/n tried to listen to music, tried to play a podcast, but she found that anything other than silence just didn’t feel right. Every song seemed to trace back to her situation and every spoken word seemed to be speaking directly to her, telling her everything she was doing was wrong.

The silence was no more comforting, it only gave her more room to ruminate about the weekend. How was she supposed to avoid Jamie in such close quarters? How was she supposed to keep away from Ted, Rebecca, Keeley, the rest of the team? It felt like a mistake to come and an equally massive one to stay behind.

A long four hours later, Y/n pulled up to the Hacienda Hotel. The Greyhound bus had yet to arrive. She actually stood a chance at getting up to her room and dodging company till the match.

Y/n gave her car to the valet and dragged her single suitcase through the lobby. She headed straight for the front desk.

“Hi,” she greeted the concierge, “I have a reservation under Y/l/n.”

“Let me just check,” the man replied, typing the last name into his computer. He frowned, “I’m sorry, ma’am, we don’t seem to have that reservation.”

“No, that can’t be right,” Y/n calmly replied, “I called yesterday about transferring one room under the Richmond block to my name.”

The man scrolled through his list a second time, “Unfortunately, that request doesn’t seem to have been entered into our system. All the Richmond rooms are reserved under the name ‘Lasso.’”

Y/n sighed, she’d gone to extreme lengths to separate herself before even stepping foot in the city. So much so that she’d been willing to pay her own overpriced hotel rate.

“Fine,” she relented, “It doesn’t matter. Checking in to one room under the name ‘Lasso.’”

“Unfortunately, ma’am,” the employee grimaced, “Under hotel policy, we can’t check in individual guests if the reservation is under a different name. You’ll have to wait until the main guest has arrived.”

Y/n’s plan crumbled further, Ted had to check her in? Worse, she’d have to wait with the whole fucking team?

Just as she’d connected the dots, the hiss of a Coach could be heard outside. Y/n whipped her head around to see the AFC Richmond logo and the moving silhouettes of the boys through the dark windows.

“There,” Y/n pointed to the bus, “The main guest’s there. Check me in.”

The man hesitated, “I’m sorry, ma’am. I have to wait to confirm-“

“How many people named ‘Lasso’ do you think there are in this country?” Y/n whispered in a panic, “He’s right in there, he’s making shitty puns,” her hand bounced against the desk, “Check me in.”

Arguing would have been hard considering Ted was an anomaly in England. The concierge conceded to Y/n’s demand and began the process.

Y/n nervously drummed her fingers against the counter, glancing back to see Will emerging from the bus. Behind him were Isaac, Richard and Jan.

“You’ll be in room #601, ma’am,” the concierge reported and handed her a room key.

Y/n yanked the card out of his palm before he could tell her the bellboy would be happy to take her suitcase. “Thank you.”

She hurried across the lobby to the elevator, praying she could make a getaway without anyone see-

“Hey, Y/n!”

She stopped in her tracks, so close…

Y/n turned around and spotted Ted, hurrying across the lobby as one would after a long drive. She managed a smile and a wave, pressing the elevator’s button repeatedly with her other hand.

“Don’t forget,” Ted called as he made a beeline for the bathrooms. “Team movie, 7:30. I’ll give ya a hint; if you love Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, you ain’t gonna wanna miss this one!”

In three weeks, Y/n had dodged a lot of invitations. A lot. Another declination and she was convinced she’d develop an ulcer.

“Sounds good,” she shouted just as the elevator doors opened. She jumped inside and pressed her floor number before anyone else spot her.

Just before the doors closed, she caught the first of the boys entering the lobby. Just past Sam, Y/n glimpsed the sharp edges of Jamie’s face. Her heart caught in her throat, the mere sight of him was enough to startle her.

She wondered how long she could pretend everything was fine before she proved herself wrong.

—————————

Y/n hid in her room the rest of the day. She didn’t dare leave to get ice or see the city, sure that with her luck, she’d run into someone the second she stepped out.

Half-way through the afternoon, a knock at the door surprised her. She peeked through the peephole to see Keeley. Out of anyone, she was the one that Y/n couldn’t totally avoid.

The door swung open and Y/n put on a smile, “Hey.”

“Hi,” Keeley greeted, “You beat us here.”

“Yeah,” Y/n chuckled, “Trust me, I’d have rather gotten the sleep.”

“Right,” Keeley chortled, “Can I come in?”

Y/n opened the door wider and allowed it. “What’s up?”

“I just wanted to steal your pillow chocolates,” her boss cheekily smirked but didn’t move to grab the candy.“And…to ask if you might reconsider talking to Jamie?”

“Keeley,” Y/n sighed in frustration, rubbing at her face, “I told you-“

“I know,” Keeley held up her hands, “But I just talked to him and…he’s really in his head. It’s bad, Y/n. I’ve never seen him like this.”

While she could pretend all she wanted that Jamie meant little to her, Y/n was growing more and more worried. Every one of his dreams were coming true, and the ones that hadn’t were on the horizon. He should have been on top of the world and instead, he was spiraling. She wanted nothing more than to bang on his door, wrap him in her arms and fix it all. Put him back together until he was his glorious self.

“Look,” Y/n pushed on one of her eyes, “Keeley, whatever you think I’m capable of doing for Jamie, I’m not. I’m not a footballer, I’m not his coach, I’m not his girlfriend,” she found the last words uncomfortably difficult to get out, “I’m half his publicity team. That’s it.”

“You’re more than that,” Keeley replied, she had the kindest way of arguing. “You two have been glued to each other’s sides since you got to Richmond. Jamie trusts you. If you just talk to him-“

Y/n pressed her hands against her lips as Keeley spoke. The panic was beginning to swirl inside her again.

“Keeley,” she cut her off and enunciated her words, “I can’t help him.”

After a whole season of working together, Keeley could easily tell when Y/n was lying, both to others and herself. She didn’t need to know what her and Jamie meant to one another, all that mattered was they did. If Y/n wasn’t ready to acknowledge it, there wasn’t anything Keeley could do.

“Okay,” she replied, once again resigned in her failed quest, “I’ll leave you be.”

Y/n didn’t move as Keeley’s furry jacket brushed past her, shutting her eyes to hide the tears. Only when she was alone once more did she let them streak her cheeks. Somewhere down the hall, Jamie was hurting, and that meant she was hurting as well.

—————————

At exactly 7:30, Y/n made her way down the hotel hall. Different conference rooms lined the walls and she followed their numbers till she found the one Ted had texted her. She slipped through the back door, the lights were dimmed and everyone had already taken their seats. Her version of perfect timing.

From her vantage point, Y/n had a perfect layout of the seating arrangement. The team were gathered in the first few rows. Keeley and Roy were at one end of the back row, with Ted, Beard, Rebecca and Higgins following. Y/n couldn’t help but let her eyes run over the players’ heads, spotting Jamie’s mop of hair in the front row.

After evaluating her options, Y/n chose the safest one at the nearest end of the back row, next to Trent Crimm.

“Just in time,” he whispered as she took the seat beside him.

“Yeah,” she replied, “Got lost.”

Trent nodded, waiting a few seconds before speaking up again, “You know, I’m sure anyone would be happy to switch. In case you wanted to sit with your friends.”

Y/n peered over at Trent, whose eyes gleamed suspiciously with knowledge.

“I’m fine,” she readjusted in her chair to prove the point.

Trent nodded, trying and failing not to smirk, “I’m honored to rank so high on your priority list.”

Y/n’s glance turned into a stare, the former journalist was smiling as if she were made of glass. Were her actions so obvious that even he had noticed?

Trent settled back into his chair, shifting his attention to the opening credits. Y/n did the same and focused just as the main title popped up.

You’ve Got Mail.

She groaned internally, if the universe was out to get her, choosing one of the most romantic comedies of all time was the greatest insult it could hurl.

For an hour and fifty-nine minutes, Y/n squirmed uncomfortably in her chair. She couldn’t go more than thirty seconds without sneaking a peek at Jamie, who hadn’t moved at all since the start. He was a fidgeting mess every waking minute of the day. Something was terribly off.

After Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks kissed in the New York garden and his golden retriever leaped to embrace them, the lights came back on. Y/n distractedly clapped along with the rest of the room, already eyeing her exit.

“All right. Listen up, you big softies,” Ted announced, “10PM, lights out. Then get yourselves some beauty sleep for tomorrow’s big meet-cute with Man City. You hear? Alright, Ephron on three. One, two, three-“

A few people, Beard being the loudest, chanted the filmmaker’s name.

“Lovely to see you again,” Trent said, a tease to his tone, as Y/n got up and out of her seat.

She hesitated, catching his knowing expression once more, and debated saying something. She decided it wasted energy and turned on her heel, making it only two steps before Keeley grabbed hold of her arm.

“Come on,” she ordered, pulling Y/n behind her.

“What?” Y/n asked, “Where the-“

Keeley didn’t answer, tugging her across the room towards the door Roy was holding open.

“Keeley, what-“

“Shh,” Keeley hushed, finally letting go of Y/n’s arm.

Y/n followed alongside her boss and Roy, unsure of where they were leading her. When they got to the lobby and she caught Jamie’s silhouette ahead of them, she came to a halt.

“No.”

“Y/n-“ Keeley began.

“No,” Y/n slashed a hand through the air, “I told you no.”

“Fuck your no,” Roy snapped, “I don’t care what the fuck’s going on wth you two, but your job is to make the club look good,” Roy pointed to Jamie’s fleeting figure, “And he makes us look good. So you’re gonna do your fucking job and you’re gonna help us fucking fix this.”

Y/n chuckled with deep annoyance, “You know what? Fuck you, Kent. I’m not one of your footballers you can boss around any time you’re in a shit mood,” she stuck a finger out at Roy, “You don’t get to tell me what to do.”

“Oi!” Keeley exclaimed, her heels slapping against the floor as she marched back, “Both of you, stop it. Come on!”

Roy and Y/n broke their stare, Jamie was rounding the corner and heading out the hotel’s doors. Sparing each other one more hardened glare, they followed Keeley.

The three of them exited the hotel, Keeley spotting Jamie passing the Richmond bus, and they traced his path. Against all she told herself, Y/n went on her own free will, chasing him through the Manchester evening.

Keeley’s stalking technique involved scurrying behind cars and lampposts, while Y/n clung to building walls. Ever the least subtle of any group, Roy simply walked the street, not using much caution to mask his presence.

They followed Jamie through neighborhoods and into the inner part of the city. They crossed bridges, climbed stairs and finally ended up on one side of a florescent lit tunnel. On their descent down the steps, they lost sight of him.

“The fuck is he?” Roy asked.

“I don’t know,” Keeley answered, “You’ve lost him.”

Roy glanced around them, “You said he went down here.”

“I did not,” Keeley argued, “You said that.”

“No, I said he’s in a tunnel,” Roy corrected as the three of them marched down the way, “I didn’t say he was in this tunnel. She’s the one who thought it was this one.”

“He did come down this one,” Y/n said sternly.

“Well, there’s no other tunnel, is there?” Keeley reprimanded them, “I don’t believe it. You’ve lost Jamie Tartt.”

“We didn’t lose him,” Y/n argued, silently worried. The second she’d lost eyes on Jamie was the second their surroundings suddenly became unsettling.

“You can’t lose Jamie Tartt,” Roy replied.

“Well, you have,” Keeley fired back.

“OI!”

Roy, Keeley and Y/n jumped at the exclaim, spinning around and shouting various expletives.

“Fucking hell!”

“What the fuck?!”

Jamie stood, hood over his head and hands in his pockets. “Why are you following me?”

“Just wanted to make sure you’re okay, you prick,” Roy spoke kind words with contrasting anger.

“What’s going on, Jamie?” Keeley asked, “Are you buying drugs?”

Jamie’s confused stare turned to Y/n, he locked up. The three weeks of not seeing her made her sudden presence feel like a hallucination.

Any face Y/n had been wearing dropped the second her eyes met Jamie’s. This was the closest they’d been since that night outside her apartment.

They came back to themselves quickly, hiding whatever they were feeling for the sake of Keeley and Roy being present.

Jamie nodded towards the path ahead of them, “Come on.”

Roy, Keeley and Y/n followed without question as Jamie guided them through the tunnel. It led up to a crowded neighborhood, a council estate that looked like it had seen better days.

Y/n made an effort to follow Roy, keeping as much distance as she could between her and Jamie. Her presence would probably mess with his head even more so than her absence might have. She was starting to wonder if the choice to come had been a selfish one.

They passed a group of kids kicking a football against a brick wall.

“Oi,” one of them called, “Are you Jamie Tartt?”

Jamie pushed back his hood, “Yeah.”

“More like Jamie Fart,” the youngest taunted.

“Screw you, dickhead,” the tallest one shouted, “Prick!”

“Yeah, who are you?”

“City’s gonna fuck you up tomorrow!”

Through the haranguing of insults, Jamie smiled, glancing over to Keeley, and sneaking one at Y/n. He led them away towards the row of houses.

Roy stuck around, turning to stare down the kids, who’d gone dead silent. Y/n readied herself to drag Roy away kicking and screaming from unloading on them.

Instead, he held up his hands in an ‘ok’ sign, “Good lads.”

While the kids were clearly thrilled at having been complimented by the Roy Kent, Y/n slapped his arm as hard as she could. Roy grasped it and silently protested before Y/n pointed to where Jamie and Keeley had gone off to.

They arrived on the doorsteps of one of the houses. Jamie rang the doorbell and they waited till a pair of eyes popped through one of the door’s glass bits.

“Hey,” the man exclaimed before opening the door, greeting them with a wide grin, “Jamie!”

“How you doing, Simon?” Jamie smiled and pointed to the group, “This is Keeley, that’s Roy, and that’s Y/n.”

“Come on in, come on in,” Simon waved them into the home.

Jamie entered first, shaking Simon’s hand, “How are you, mate? Good seeing you, man.”

“Yeah, great,” Simon replied as he ushered his guests in.

Keeley, Roy and Y/n all gave various greetings as they crossed the threshold. None of them knew quite where they were.

“Georgie,” Simon called up the stairs, “We’ve got visitors!”

A female voice called back down, “What was that, love? Someone at the door?”

Jamie made a beeline for the bottom of the staircase, just as a woman stopped at the top, frozen by what lay in front of her.

“Hello, Mommy.”

Y/n’s eyes widened.

Georgie screamed as she ran down the steps, leaping into her son’s arms. “Jamie!”

“Mommy, I’d like to introduce you to Keeley,” Jamie turned to face his friends, “And this hairy prick’s Roy,” his smile dropped an imperceptible inch, “And that’s Y/n over there.”

“Hi,” Keeley greeted in her normal bubbly tone.

“Hi,” Y/n managed to eek out, holding up a nervous hand.

“Hey, you,” Roy said smoothly.

“Hi,” Georgie greeted them all while hugging Jamie once more, “It’s lovely to finally meet you all. I’d come and give you a hug,” she squeezed the sides of her son’s face, “But I’m not letting go of this one!”

Jamie lifted his mom into the air and spun her around.

“There they go,” Simon observed, “Right, who wants some sweet treats?”

Simon slipped off deeper into the house while Georgie and Jamie stayed in their embrace.

“Look at your gorgeous face,” she exclaimed as Jamie carried them both down the hallway, “I love it. How have you been? Look at you.”

Run. All of Y/n’s instincts told her to run right back out that door and take her chances with being abducted in the sketchy tunnel. Roy and Keeley must have sensed her unease because Keeley reached back for Y/n’s hand and Roy kept behind her, forcing her inside.

Georgie and Jamie had managed to separate long enough for Jamie to snuggle up against his mom on the living room couch. Keeley, Y/n and Roy stood at the entrance to the room, unsure of where to go.

“Oh, come and sit down,” Georgie gestured to the rest of the room.

Keeley and Roy entered less hesitatingly than Y/n, who took up a seat on the arm of the couch. To say she was uncomfortable was an understatement of epic proportions. Here she’d gone to every effort to avoid Jamie, and she’d ended up in what was clearly his childhood home with his mother.

She glanced over at the shrine to Jamie on the far wall, various pictures of him from different stages of life proudly displayed. Baby pictures all the way to league headshots. Y/n wanted to evaporate into thin air.

Simon popped back into the room with a plate of baked goods, dishing one out to each of his guests as Georgie and Jamie talked.

“It was just poopy,” Jamie quietly vented to his mom, his thick accent changing the word entirely, “You know, it really upset me. This guy on Twitter, he kept saying that it was blonde, but I’m like, ‘It’s fucking walnut mist, mate.’”

Y/n nearly spit out the bite of scone she was chewing. If this whole debacle was about his vanity, she’d march out the door. They’d argued several times over the exact shade of the highlights.

“Yeah, obviously,” Georgie agreed, stroking her son’s hair, “He’s done a lovely job, it’s dead natural.”

Simon finished pouring the tea, looking up expectantly at the party. “What do you think?”

Keeley smiled, “It’s really yummy.”

“Yeah, it’s wonderful,” Y/n managed to find her voice.

Keeley elbowed Roy, who was lost staring at the sight of his former nemesis cuddled up with his mother like a lost child. “It’s fucking delicious,” he said distractedly before returning.

“Well, it’s a Paul Hollywood recipe, but I’ve gone a little bit rogue on it,” Simon explained.

Allowing herself to slip back into a world where Jamie was damn near the center, Y/n wondered who Simon was. He clearly wasn’t Jamie’s biological father, he was the complete antithesis of the man she’d heard horror stories about. Jamie had never mentioned having a step-dad.

“Babes,” Georgie said softly, “Do you wanna give Roy, Keeley and Y/n the grand tour? Show them around a bit?”

“Yes,” Simon agreed, catching the signals his wife was throwing at him. “Good idea. Thank—“ he stood and hit his head on the overhead light, “Oops! Right, follow me. We will start in the kitchen, aka my laboratory.”

Y/n was the first to stand, but fell behind Keeley, making her a buffer. When Roy hesitated to leave, she tugged him harshly out the room.

“Fuckin’ grip you’ve got,” he complained as they walked to the kitchen.

“Oh, bite me,” Y/n retorted. Keeley had good intentions, but she was ready to kick Roy for dragging her into this.

Simon took them on a full tour of the house, showcasing his kitchen and its appliances off as if they were his most prized possessions. All along the walls of the house were pictures of him and Georgie on various trips and holidays. Scattered between them were childhood pictures of Jamie.

Eventually, Simon led them up the stairs and down a short hall. “And here is the main attraction,” he announced, opening a door and flipping on a light, “Jamie’s room.”

“Oh, sweet Lord,” Y/n muttered under her breath. This was way too deep in.

The room seemed untouched since the day Jamie had left it. Both childhood toys and teen paraphernalia were stacked on shelves and dressers. The bedding had a football pattern to it and there were various trophies for the sport nearby. On the walls, there were school certificates and diplomas and-

“Fucking hell.”

Y/n turned to see a poster of Roy, sporting a Chelsea kit and a very shaggy haircut tacked to Jamie’s wall.

“Ah, yes,” Simon looked to the footballer, “Many posters have come and gone over the years. Henry, Gerrard, Ronaldo…but Roy Kent, always remains.”

Y/n slapped a hand over her mouth and snorted, ignoring the daggers Roy was sending her way.

An phone alarm went off and Simon pulled the device out of his pocket. “Oh! Meat pies are done,” he said, “Excuse me.”

As he shut the door, another poster was revealed. This one of Keeley during her more risqué modeling days, holding two footballs against her breasts.

“Fucking hell,” she grunted.

“Yep, no, can’t do it,” Y/n finally found her voice and the doorknob. She wasn’t sure she could spend another second in Jamieland without her head exploding. “Simon!”

Their friendly host had barely made it down one of the stairs, “Yeah?”

“Let me help you with the pies,” Y/n jogged down the hall.

“Oh, no, you go ahead and look around,” he said kindly.

“No, really,” Y/n followed him down the staircase, “You’re kind enough to deal with three strangers barging into your house. It’s the least I can do.”

Simon scoffed lightheartedly as he led them into the kitchen, “No friend of Jamie’s is a stranger in this house,” he slipped on a pair of oven mitts, “Right, if you want to place these on the cooling rack.”

Simon pulled out the tray of pies and set them on the stove. Y/n went about setting them on the racks, wondering if she’d made the better choice. Now, instead of sitting in Jamie’s bedroom, she was cooking with his step-dad.

“So,” Simon spoke as he moved about the kitchen, “I can gather what brought Jamie here, but what made you three tag along?”

“Oh,” Y/n searched for an explanation, “He’s been a bit…off…lately and we were just worried about him.”

“Ah, that makes sense,” he replied, “Coming home’s a big deal, especially in this case.”

Y/n furrowed her brows, “How do you figure?”

“Well, if you were playing against your hometown in your hometown,” Simon wiped his hands on his apron, “Might stir up some feelings.”

Said out in the open, it all sounded so obvious. Of course Jamie was struggling with playing Man City. Not only that, he hadn’t spoken to his dad in ages and it was almost guaranteed the bastard would show up to cheer against his own son.

Y/n sighed, she felt like an idiot.

“Speaking of home,” Simon broke her out of her head, “Your accent doesn’t suggest you’re from around here.”

“No,” Y/n returned to their conversation, “I, uh, moved here for school and never left.”

“Oh, fascinating. What made you stay?”

Y/n shrugged and placed the last of the pies on the cooling rack. “I was just settled and didn’t want to leave.”

“That must’ve been awful for your parents,” Simon said, “When Jamie moved to London, Georgie was devastated, and that’s only a half day’s drive. I can’t imagine a whole ocean’s worth of distance.”

If Y/n thought the night couldn’t get any more uncomfortable, the mention of her parents proved her wrong. Between the location, a vulnerable Jamie in the next room, and her family being brought up, she thought she might burst into tears.

“They’re okay with it,” she answered.

“Gosh,” Simon commented, stood at the island, “That can’t be true.”

“It is,” Y/n replied quickly and spun around, attempting a smile, “But I’ve got a lovely life here.”

“Of course,” he grinned, “Working for a football club’s got to be exciting. Jamie’s mentioned you plenty.”

Y/n wasn’t moving, but she could feel everything inside her stop. “Jamie’s…mentioned me?”

“Loads,” Simon nodded, “He calls round every once in a while. Obviously he keeps busy, but the name Y/n has come up nearly every conversation. I thought I might break into hives when Georgie told me about the Christmas dinner you two cooked.”

Simon began to recount all the memories shared between Jamie and Y/n that he and Georgie had become privy to. It wasn’t just the more notable moments like their chaotic Christmas or helping Y/n move to Richmond, but the little ones too. Sneaking into the stadium for lunch breaks in the seats. Post-match interviews Y/n oversaw and how Jamie would try and make her laugh with his answers. Y/n making Jamie decorate his house because the bareness of it drove her crazy. Jamie showing up on Y/n’s doorstep on her birthday right at midnight. Trying to learn how to cook together after the disastrous Christmas dinner and kind of, almost, sort of succeeding. Picking one another’s songs at team karaoke nights. Conversations in the hallways of Nelson Road. Movies and shows suggested to one another and the reactions that followed.

The whole of Jamie and Y/n’s relationship was played back for her in his parent’s kitchen.

She was speechless.

“I, uh,” she managed, her eyes beginning to glisten, “I didn’t know Jamie talked that much about his friends.”

“His friends?” Simon looked to Y/n before ducking his eyes away when he saw she was serious, “Oh, yes…his friends.”

The small slip was enough to confirm what Y/n already suspected.

“Um,” she said, her throat suddenly thick, “It’s getting late. Would you mimd telling Roy and Keeley I took a cab back to the hotel?”

“Of course,” Simon smiled, “Can I send you home with a pie?”

“Oh, no, that’s alright,” Y/n was already crossing the kitchen, “But thank you so much for the scones. Please tell Georgie thank you for letting us interrupt your night.”

Simon waved her off, “Nonsense. Get back safe.”

Y/n speed walked down the hall, not sparing so much as a glance in the living room’s direction. She threw the front door open and hurried down the way. With shaking hands, she pulled out her phone and ordered an Uber.

Her breath came in quick puffs, the anxiety creating quite a home in her chest. She was on the verge of having the worst anxiety attack of her life, all because she’d come to the conclusion that she was cared for. No, this wasn’t care. This was something else entirely.

Little did she know, the second he’d heard her brush through the hall, Jamie was on high alert. He’d looked up from his mom, jumping to a seated position as the door slammed shut.

“Was that Y/n?” He asked Simon as he passed by the living room.

“Yes, she said she had to get back to the hotel,” Simon answered, grabbing the plate of half eaten scones from the coffee table.

Jamie was up and off the couch in an instant, hurrying down the hall and out the front door. Y/n was stood on the sidewalk, her hand pressed to her chest as if she was on the verge of collapsing.

“Hey.”

Y/n’s head whipped around, Jamie was jogging down the steps to her. He kept a fair bit of distance between them at first, unsure of how she felt about his presence. All she could do was attempt another breath.

“Hey,” Jamie crossed the space, deciding to reach for Y/n’s arms, “What’s going on? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she shook her head and avoided meeting Jamie’s concerned eyes.

“No, what’s wrong?” Jamie’s thumbs stroked over her sweater.

For all her fight, Y/n couldn’t bring herself to battle the warm grip Jamie had on her. She’d missed it.

“I’m fine, Jamie,” she lied once more, “I just want to go back to the hotel.”

Jamie scanned her face, finding the tears in her red eyes before she could hide them. Just as much as there was something wrong with him, there was something eating away at Y/n.

In the three weeks they’d stayed away from one another, Jamie had found life to be unbearable. The anxiety about playing Man City and the possibility of seeing his father once more had manifested in his playing. He’d struggled through training more and more, slowly becoming paralyzed by the lack of his usual fire. Without Y/n there to go and vent all his fears to, someone who understood without him ever having to explain a thing, it had all snowballed. Breaking down in the boot room and sobbing into Roy’s shoulder could have been avoided. His panic attack when Keeley had come to his room to check on him would have never happened.

But it wasn’t just that. Jamie found himself missing Y/n in the dullest of moments. Making dinner for himself, searching for something on television, driving home from work. Sleep was nearly impossible now that he’d gotten to fade out with her in his arms. The vacancy she’d left in his life was overwhelming. Jamie had never wanted to share such insignificant moments with someone in his life. He’d never felt as unsettled without someone.

This wasn’t some infatuation. He couldn’t live without her.

“Look,” Jamie tilted her head up, her eyes finally meeting his, “I know everything’s wrecked a-and we fucked it all up but…” his breath came out trembling, “But I love you.”

Y/n cries began to shake her chest.

“And I know this is the worst fucking time to say it,” Jamie bit back a laugh, but he felt ten tons lighter with the words finally spoken, “But I don’t regret what happened. If I could go back and do it a hundred times over, I would.”

A single cry escaped Y/n.

“And I need you,” Jamie spoke urgently, dragging a hand to Y/n’s cheek, brushing a thumb over the wet skin, “I need you with me ‘cause I don’t know what the fuck I’m doin’ without you. I don’t. You’ve fucking ruined me.”

Y/n was caught somewhere between a frown and a smile. Her worst fear and her greatest wish.

“Don’t leave, please,” Jamie pleaded, slipping his free hand around Y/n’s waist when she didn’t recoil at his touch. “I wanna be with you.”

Y/n’s sobs caused her whole body to shudder, which only made Jamie to pull her closer. She ended up enveloped in his arms, the only place she’d truly desired to be since the moment she’d left them.

Jamie pressed a kiss to Y/n’s forehead, trying to ease whatever pain and pour out his sentiments. The relief of holding her again was all-consuming and he reveled in it.

For a moment, they both realized what they could have. They could put the whole horrid separation behind them and let themselves be happy. They could come home to one another. They could hold nothing back from each other. They could build a life together and give each other all the love they’d ever been deprived of.

Where Jamie felt hope, cradling the girl he loved, Y/n felt panic, fearing the risk more than the loss.

“Jamie,” she whispered, “No.”

Jamie pulled back, fearfully gazing into her bloodshot eyes. “What do you mean?”

“No,” Y/n repeated, “We can’t.”

“Wh-“ he stammered, she was slipping away from him, “What are you talking about? We can.”

Y/n whined, “I can’t, Jamie. I can’t.”

“You can, you can,” Jamie insisted, holding Y/n’s cheek with purpose. He caught the headlights of the Uber coming down his street, “Why? Why can’t we have this?”

“Tell me,” Jamie softly begged, “Tell me why. Why can’t we have this?”

Finally, Y/n’s emotions burst, everything flooding out in a mess of terror.

“Because I don’t want this,” she exclaimed tearfully, “I don’t want this, Jamie. I don’t want y-“

She caught herself before she could finish it, but it was still too late. The damage had been done, and the wreckage spread across Jamie’s face. His lips parted in shock and his touch lost its urgency.

In her blind panic, Y/n hadn’t expected such a lie to come out of her mouth. But there was no taking it back, and the fear of all Jamie was ready to give was possessing her. This was the only way to keep herself safe.

Behind them, the Uber driver had pulled up to the house. “Oi, one of you Y/n?”

Y/n blinked up at Jamie, who was searching her eyes for the dishonesty in what she’d said. He found it so easily, but her determination to run was visibly clearer.

“Please let me go,” Y/n asked, her voice barely audible. She couldn’t even look him in the eyes as she spoke.

Jamie knew there was no more fight to give. He’d poured the contents of his heart out to her fruitlessly. He couldn’t force her to face the truth, that she might love him back, or that she even cared that he loved her. He was out of plays to make, all he could do was let her walk away.

He dropped his hands as slow as he could, savoring the last feel of her he’d get. Y/n trembled as his fingers left her face, committing his touch to her memory. This was the end before they even reached the beginning.

“In or out, love,” the driver interrupted.

Summoning the last of her strength, Y/n sought out Jamie’s eyes, glistening with tears now. She’d dealt the ultimate blow to an already wounded soldier. Slowly, she backed away from him, fighting every urge to run back into his arms and take it all back. If he took one step towards her, she knew she’d do it.

Jamie obeyed her wishes and didn’t move.

With one final gaze, Y/n turned away, climbing into the backseat of the Uber. He didn’t wait to drive, pulling the car away from as soon as she’d shut the door.

Y/n watched Jamie in the rear view mirror before it became too much. She dissolved to silent wracking sobs, caving in on herself. Not only had she walked away from the man she knew she surely loved, but she’d broken his heart doing so. The self-destruction was no longer only affecting her, she was destroying those around her.

Jamie wiped a shaking hand over his face as he watched the car carry Y/n away. He struggled to comprehend all that had just happened. He’d lost her.

Somehow, he carried himself back inside. He shuffled robotically back into the living room. His mum and Simon were seated on the couch, speaking in hushed tones.

Georgie looked expectantly to her son. Jamie had never needed to talk about him and Y/n in so many words. She knew exactly what he felt. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah,” Jamie stared ahead at the carpet.

“Did you talk to her?” Georgie asked, asking something far deeper.

Jamie nodded.

“Does she feel the same?”

There was the true answer, and there was the easy answer. Jamie chose the latter.

“No.”

——————

Heartfirst Taglist: @lalla-04p @optimisticsandwichgladiator @makingmunson94 @taytaylala12 @storysimp @sokkigarden @lightninginab0ttle @poohkie90 @alipap3 @verra-nerevarine @shineforever19 @spaceagechimera @burnafter-reading @qardasngan @cyberpvnk-enthusiast @sogoodtoheritsvicious @buckybarnex @angelsunflxwer @blueanfield @thewildestwonderland @sablecities @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo @strawberryacethingz @mentalistfan @tortilla-maria1 @katdahlali @for-fuck-sake-im-alive @glitterquadricorn @jamieolivia27 @imvibin69 @katlizada @lil-tracys @fanaticalfantasist @heyitz-julia @cactajuice @peachyy-tea @notalxx @rockchickrebel @anxiety-prime-max @loveforaugust @jellycolors @actuallybarb @heletsmelovehim @lovinnscarletknight @imfalling-inlove @leslieiscrying @meg-ro @littlemisssunshine192 @beboldbebravethings @maydayfigment @spencerreidsbookclub @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @lemoonandlestars @im-a-weirdo-for-life @mindless-rock (tags cont. in comments ❤️)

[thebaddexample]

FILM THEORY: DEATH RETURNS TO INANIMATE INSANITY!! BUT IT'S NOT TACO OR LIGHTBULB!!

Warning, spoilers and possibly cringey or bad writing, but it's 1am for me so eh

(First off, shout-out to my mom for coming up with this idea for me to make a theory on- You're the best :3)

(Second, thumbnail by me :])

(Thirdly, I might rewrite this during the day at some point because I'm really tired, but had to get this out before I slept bcs I'd forget to otherwise)

(Fourthly, I know that this isn't a completely original idea, and people have done it already, but I wanted an excuse to make a theory and there's evidence, so I thought "why not?" It'll make people upset with me if I'm right, and I get to pretend to be Film Theory for a bit. It's a win-win!)

(You are legally required to read this post as MatPat's voice /silly /j)

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With the horrifying tweet that Brian made last Saturday, there's a lot of people (including you, probably) worried about who will die in the finale, the harsh battle between whether we say "bye" to a bright light, or "so long" to our sour cream schemer. My answer? Neither!! Object show community, inanimate fandom... whatever we call ourselves! I'm about to present to you why our beloved (and somewhat recently hated) host is going to be the death of the season.

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First of all, the trailer (and @inanimateinsanityfan 's recent tumblr post "invitation") has somewhat implied that the focus of the movie, the A-Plot at least, will be around Cobs attempting to get to MePhone4 somehow, whether it be luring him up to Meeple Headquarters or trying to get down to him. We've seen from previous episodes that Cobs wants him dead, but it's hard to tell if he's changed his motive, since we haven't seen him since Episode 13 "Mine Your Own Business". However, he has been consistently sending his newer MePhones to eliminate MePhone4, as 5C clearly states in Episode 6. The newer models have features like tracking (much like MePad) and knife hands (NOT like MePad), which MePhone4 doesn't have, which should in theory have made him easier to kill.

Speaking of the abilities, the MeLife function is only ever used by MePhone4, or at least we only ever get to see him do it. Why? Well, I have an idea but that's a theory for another time. The point is; MePhone4 seems to be the only Meeple product with the ability to bring people to life, and has all of the contestants on there as far as we know. This means that, unless there's a creative solution to perma-kill one of the contestants, MePhone4 needs to die first for any perma-death to occur in the first place.

And hell, removing the regeneration ability as a whole would be a great way to cap off the season, to establish that there's no more retrying and that everything is now set in stone. And even if we do get that damn FOURTH season (bonus points to whoever gets the reference), it'll at least spice things up with having, say, MePad as a host instead, leaving the spot open for someone else to claim and have an interesting story arc of their own.

This shot already pulls up a parallel between MePhone4 and MePhone3GS, and though 3GS isn't really confirmed dead, they're definitely not gonna be alive any time soon. The parallels could imply that MePhone4 is destined to a fate similar to 3GS; no longer in service, probably broken, and maybe even killed of by Cobs himself.

In addition to this, all of the other MePhones we've seen have all died; MePhone4 technically died with 4S and 5 in the Season 1 finale "Journey Through Memory Lane", 5S and 5C were introduced and immediately killed in Season 2 Episode 6 "Let 'Er RIP", and MePhones 6 and 6+ were also immediately killed upon introduction in Season 2 Episode 8 "Theft and Battery". The MePhones all have something in common, and that is unavoidable and quick death, much like real iphones honestly.

Does this mean that MePhone4 will have to die as a result of MePhone's faulty creation? No, but there is a pre-established pattern with each of the MePhones that goes as a cycle, perpetuating Cobs' cruel style of doing things; he creates something, claims it's his favorite for a year, then makes something a little better and throws the pre-established bond away to die, and rinse and repeat.

But hey! That's just a theory!

An Object Theory!!

Uh- what's the opposite of "greetings and salutations"-?

"Goodbye and see-you-laters!!"

[flymetosnarryland]

GTFO.

Did anyone miss Muggle London like I did? 🙃

This series as a part of "Infraction" has grown incredibly. It helped me understand a lot about things I want to write and made me think about "Infraction" as... well, my first real baby, lol. I wrote one Snarry, "Oblivion" already, but I take that story as testing the waters. I tried to know Harry and Severus, placing them in situation close to, eh, something that happened to me in a way. It means a lot to me and I'm proud of myself that I managed to write a fic from the start to the end.

"Infraction" on the other hand... this one is going to be really FAT piece of work and I'm excited over the moon about it. First chapter and the first part of second already landed on Ao3, but when am I going to finish the next part of it? (If anyone is interested at all, because I personally don't touch unfinished pieces, knowing how it works 🤣)

Well, to be honest, I decided to not rush it. Not because I don't know what to write. The main outline of the story has 40k+ words. It appeared that planning a series of murders is not so easy 😂 especially when the politics are part of it (I mean, Merlin... that's the last thing I thought I will EVER write, lol) and on top of that I have some complicated relationships (or, I suppose, a cherry on molten chocolate cake 🤤). Which makes me shiver and scream, that much I want to jump into writing it again. But the more I am thinking about the plot and fitting everything I need into it (of course writing it down), the more I'm surprised that I am able to figure out something that seems damn complex to me and my three brain cells 😂 I want to be proud of this story. I want it to be... maybe not perfect, but as good as I can see, it can be. And I enjoy the idea of growing as hobby writer. It makes me really happy. Also it's my first serious CRIME story. I know I said before that I always wanted to write crime. I always thought though it's out of my range, you know, I'm too dumb to bring something interesting that other people could possibly like as I do. But with this story I'm trying new things (like bringing Marauders to life), I'm thinking in advance, I'm on both sides: the detective and the serial killer and... GOSH. I really think it will have sense and be worth to waste some time on reading it, lol!

Also there is Snarry AUctoberfest on the way and, you know, I decided I'll try to write something for the fest for the first time! (It's my year of many first times and I really like it!) Funny thing, it appears that my fic for the fest will be a little test to what I want to do with "Infraction." When it occured to me (don't ask how it happen, but the idea I've had in mind turned 180 degree and I couldn't help it! Had to just go for it 😂) I was stunned. But in the same way it's a great opportunity to try new things, see how it will go and how it will work before I'll jump back to my baby.

If anyone checked "Infraction", please don't be mad or sad or... disappointed or angry (?), that I'm not updating it yet. This fic is absolutely my main focus and I'm tinkering and working on it. As for everything, I need time (and probably cut some other projects while I will write it; so less drawing going to be main part of the writing process 🙃 I suppose in the last quarter of the year; except if I'll have my holiday from work!)

Ah, dang. I wrote a lot here, I suppose? Less shite than messy personal stuff, but still something I guess, I wanted to share? Even if I think it's pointless and worthless, because who cares, lol. I'm learning, trying to share, I think. I should, as I wasn't doing it at all and it suppose to help me to... leave the shell of person that other people think I am. Because I grew to be someone irl that I'm really tired of being. Of pretending to be. How stupid it all sounds it's beyond me and I still deny to admit it.

[archiveikemen]

"On-Screen Lovers" Story Event: Chapter 1

Nagi

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection. All original content and media used belongs to Cybird. Please support the game by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

Warnings and FAQ

One early afternoon, on my day off.

I found myself caught up in something unexpected.

(There’s nothing much to do today, so I guess I’ll take the occasional break.)

Rina: Oh, huh?

I chanced upon Sakura and the members of Gem Cuddle standing face to face with serious expressions.

Rina: Is there a reason why everyone is gathered?

Sakura: Oh. Thanks for your hard work, Kawanaga.

Sakura: We were just discussing Nagi’s work matters.

Hitaki: Actually, Nagi received a casting offer to star in a movie.

Rina: A casting offer…!?

Miu: For the lead role in a romance movie.

Nagi’s name was indeed indicated in the proposal.

“An unpopular young dancer becomes a global superstar while earnestly dealing with conflicts in love and friendship”...

The plot seemed to suit Nagi well.

However, Nagi’s facial expression was unexpectedly grim.

Nagi: I can’t act to save my life, no way I’m starring in a movie.

Miu: Geez, you’ve been saying that for a while now! Didn’t take acting lessons?

Miu: It’ll be fine once you get used to it, so just accept the offer.

Nagi: You’re only able to say that because it’s not your business. In the first place, I’m an idol.

Nagi: We have a live performance coming up, I should be spending my time preparing for that.

(Nagi is very passionate about dancing, so it’s understandable he wants to focus on practising for the upcoming live performance).

Sakura: Hmm, I understand how you feel, but…

Sakura muttered with a troubled look.

Sakura: It’s already been decided that Gem Cuddle will sing the theme song for this movie.

Sakura: It would make the fans happy if Nagi were to be chosen as the lead actor, thus giving a boost to the movie’s publicity.

Nagi: …

(Could there be some other reason why he’s being so stubborn?)

That’s what I thought, but I could only watch their discussion from the sidelines.

Miu: Ahh– for good's sake! This is getting nowhere. In any case, Nagi, you should start practising your acting.

Miu: In that case, you'll need motivation. For example, you could do your script reading with her as your partner.

I felt a pat on my shoulder as I heard myself being mentioned all of a sudden.

Rina: W-Why me? I can’t act at all.

Miu: Eh? It’s easier to practise with a partner than alone, you know?

Hitaki: Based on the script, it certainly looks like this character has many interactions with the female lead. That makes Kawanaga a suitable partner for script reading.

(Huh!? Hitaki too.)

Nagi: No, hold on. This will become a bother for her too.

Nagi: Besides, this problem only concerns me. I’m saying that I don't want anything taking my focus away from the live performance.

Hitaki: We’ll support you in that, we’re not going to let you shoulder all the burden yourself.

Hitaki: Why don’t you try doing a round of script reading with her first? I believe it won’t be too late to decide afterwards if you want to accept the casting offer or not.

Sakura: I agree. Once you know the feel of the production, you’ll be able to consider it in a more positive light.

Seeing the hopefulness in Sakura’s facial expression made me feel an urge to lend a hand despite my discomfort.

(I’d be glad if Nagi would accept the offer. In that case…)

Rina: I understand. If I’m really suitable for the task, I’ll do it.

…

Nagi and I moved to the lesson room to do script reading.

(I wonder if Nagi’s upset about being forced into this…)

Nagi: Oi.

Rina: Yes?!

Nagi: … I’m sorry for dragging you into this mess.

Rina: Oh, no… I was just worried that I might’ve disregarded your boundaries.

Rina: I accepted the task, so I’ll do my best to help your acting practice go smoothly.

Nagi responded with an “okay” when I looked up at him with determination.

Nagi: I was too stubborn. I’m going to properly take this challenge, and I’ll be counting on you.

Rina: Sure!

We checked through the script and picked a good scene to practise.

The scene we picked was “the protagonist’s childhood friend, the female protagonist, is complimenting his dancing”.

(This scene involves dancing, which is something Nagi has in common with his character; it seems like a perfect scene for us to practise.)

(But it’s also mentioned that the two protagonists in this scene were “as close as lovers”. That part is kind of embarrassing…)

(T-This weak attitude is no good. I must focus!)

I took a deep breath to calm myself down before turning to face Nagi.

… And so, we started acting.

Rina: The dance moves you just did were amazing! My heart was racing while watching you.

Nagi: That’s what you say every time, but there’s still a part of the choreography I’m not satisfied with.

Rina: You’re so attentive to details. But perhaps all that practising is what made you who you are today.

(... What’s this? The topic is dance, so it feels like I’m saying all that to Nagi himself.)

(Maybe that’s why I can recite my lines with ease?)

Nagi appeared calm as well, responding naturally with his character’s lines.

(This should go well without problems if we keep this up…)

Nagi: Goodness, look at you saying such things without a hint of embarrassment. However…

Nagi suddenly leaned forward and reached towards me.

(Huh?)

The thoughts flying through my head stopped the instant he moved closer, and I felt his warm and large hand gently stroke my hair.

(H-He’s… acting out the movements described in the script.)

My heart was hammering against my chest from the sudden contact.

I couldn’t peel my eyes off Nagi’s beautiful face that was right before my eyes.

Nagi: Your words never fail to cheer me up.

Nagi: That’s why, I’ve been thinking of giving you something in return.

Nagi: I wanted to tell you this in a cool way, but… at the end of the day, I really just want to be by your side.

(... Hm? There was an odd pause just now.)

Nagi: Can I stay by your side forever? Because then…

Nagi: …

Nagi: … Damn. I can’t bring myself to continue.

Nagi muttered as he moved away from me and sighed.

Rina: What’s wrong all of a sudden?

(His acting was going well so far. But… was that strange pause I noticed just now not my imagination?)

Rina: Um… to an amateur like me, I think your acting was very natural.

Rina: Even so, do you perhaps still feel uncomfortable with acting?

Nagi seemed to be deep in thought for a moment, before he slowly spoke in response.

Nagi: … I’ll be honest. The thing I dislike isn't acting itself.

Rina: Really?

Nagi: Yeah. The real reason why I was hesitant to accept the casting offer is—

[gtbutterfly]

New Jen and Gabby story! (No title yet) Chapter one

I'm writing a new story set after my borrower story about Jen and Gabby. This is set roughly a week or two after the finale of the first Jen and Gabby series, Jen has started teaching Gabby how to borrow, and they're temporarily staying at Rebecca and tims house while Jen looks for a new place for them to live. I'm happy to be writing these characters again, and I hope you enjoy it. Criticism is appreciated!

Original story:

__________________________________________________

It was around sunset. The air outside was cool and the sky was clear. Some trees and houses across the street blocked the lowering sun and created shadows that seeped through the window. Inside, there was a turned on lamp sitting on a desk in front of the window still. The bottom of the lamp had a ripped out piece of cardboard taken from a shoebox, not more than two inches wide either way. It was taped to the side of the lamp's base with a piece of folded tape. On the cardboard, there was a marking in the center made with a pencil. She stood across from the lamp at the other end of the desk. Her sister was watching at her side as the young tiny tried to focus on the target. she got into a throwing position, and threw the toothpick with all her force, grunting as she did it. The tooth pick spun in the air and bounced off the cardboard hitting it with its side. It landed on the ground, bouncing a bit before settling. 

“Wow, good job, Gabby, that was great for your first try!” the borrower's older sister said. 

“Oh, it was supposed to hit it with the pointy end and stick on it,” the younger borrower said, disappointed. The older sister approached her and patted her on the back.

“Hey, it's alright, you did great! Your not gonna get it all the time, not even when doing it for real,” the older sister said, “I know I don’t,”

“Jen, why are we learning how to throw the pointy thing anyways?” Gabby asked.

“Well, sometimes, you won’t have a fishing hook to use to climb things, so you’ll have to use your needle,” Jen said, taking her needle out of her belt and showing her sister the non-sharp end. “See the little hole, there?”

“Uh-huh,” Gabby said.

“Humans put string through there to make clothes and blankets and things. We can use them to make a grappling hook and string if we need to. real hooks have holes just like it.” Jen explained.

“Ooh,” Gabby looked at her sister's needle in interest. “When do I get a sewing needle like yours?”

“When you're done training with the toothpick and you won’t hurt yourself,” Jen patted her sister's head.

“Ok! So when are we learning how to fight with these?” Gabby asked,

“Eh, I dunno, you can’t really be taught that, I think,” Jen said, walking away, putting the needle back in her belt. “I figured out how to defend with this thing when I first started borrowing on my own. Mainly against bugs that were around in the vents or kitchen, sometimes mice and rats,” she turned back towards her sister, “it mainly just comes from instincts, we probably shouldn’t worry about that. For now it's more important to focus on traversal, like climbing tall objects and staying out of sight, alright?”

“Uh, ok,” Gabby said, looking down and nodding. “Oh, what if a human takes me again? What should I do?”

“Stab them and run as far as you can. Come on, you know this, Gabby.” Jen said, walking towards her and getting on her knees, placing her hand on Gabbys shoulder. “Besides, once you learn how to climb, move efficiently, hide, and all that stuff, you won’t need to worry about escaping a human, just not getting caught in the first place, alright?”

“Sigh, ok,” Gabby nodded.

“You're not still scared from when you were taken before, are you? You can tell me if you are,” Jen asked,

“N-no…” Gabby stuttered. Jen sighed.

“Gabby, remember, I’m here for you. I’m not going to let you get kidnapped again. Not for as long as I live, ok?” Jen reassured her.

“Ok…” Gabby said, looking at her sister. “...what about after?” Jen looked down for a second,

“Um…well, then you’ll be ready to face the world on your own. Ok?” Jen gave a soft smile. Gabby nodded. The two sisters hugged each other tightly.

“Thank you, Jen,” Gabby said,

“It's fine,” Jen said, rubbing her sister's back before letting go of her and standing up. Suddenly, both of the borrowers flinched. There was a shake in the ground. Gabby let out a small yelp, while Jen’s eyes widened and she reached for her needle, before they both remembered. “Oh yeah…” Jen sighed, looking across the room at the approaching human. She had a blue sweater on and on her shoulder was another borrower, hanging on to some of the human hair and part of the sweater. She got on her knees before the desk the two borrowers were on and smiled.

“Oh…hiii Rebecca,” Gabby said, letting out a smile but backing away slightly at the same time. Jen got in front of her. 

“Hey guys, how are you two little ones doing?” Rebecca said, taking the other borrower off her shoulder. Jen cringed.

“Fine, fine, everythings great.” Jen said bluntly. “How was yours and Tims date? It seemed awfully short.” The other borrower jumps from Rebecca's hand onto the desk.

“It wasn’t a date, we just went out.” Tim said.

“That's what people say when they go on dates,” Jen said.

“What did you do then?” Gabby asked.

“We went to the store, looked at some things, and then we got takeout for dinner and brought it back here.” Tim said.

“We got chinese! Do you two want any?” Rebecca asked.

“No reason not to,” Jen shrugged, stepping towards the edge of the desk. 

“Chee….chinese?” Gabby thought aloud, “is that like, the…uh, noodle with the red sauce?” she asked.

“No, it's the brown noodles with the grease on it with the broccoli and stuff mixed in,” Jen said, attaching her fishing hook to the edge of the desk.

“Oh, that's much less messy!” Gabby smiled, walking up behind Jen as she tossed the string off the edge of the desk so they could climb down.

“Oh, you don’t need to do that, guys, you're our guests.” Rebecca said, “I can carry you to the kitchen,”

“Its fine,” Jen said, “Gabby would rather walk, and I’d rather stay with her,” 

“Yeah,” Gabby said, grabbing onto the string, hugging it with her arms and legs and slowly sliding down as Jen watched and smiled.

“Huh, she's already going down ropes by herself,” Tim said. 

“Yeah, she's learning pretty well,” Jen said, grabbing a hold of the string herself and sliding to the floor. Tim climbed into Rebecca's hand, and she picked her up and walked behind the two borrowers that were on the floor, who were making surprisingly good pace, even given how the borrowers had to practically jog to keep up with the human towing over them at normal walking speed. Rebecca looked down at Jen and Gabby as they moved alongside her. Jen glanced up at Rebecca, causing the human to look forward and away from them. She looked down at Tim in her hands. 

“Think they’re ok?” Rebecca asked quietly to Tim, just about whispering. 

“It's fine,” Tim said back, “I’m sure it's nothing against you,” he reassured her. Rebecca looked past Tim at Jen and Gabby on the ground, worried about them not liking her. After some walking, they were at the kitchen table. Jen took out the fishing hook again and prepared to throw it up to the top of the table, before Rebecca bent down and stopped her.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that, I can give you a lift if you’d like,” Rebecca offered, 

“Oh, that's fine, we wouldn’t want to bother you,” Jen said, unwrapping the string and getting ready to swing the hook. 

“Oh, it's barely a bother, you two barely weigh anything to me,” Rebecca smiled, “come on, I insist,” the human said, holding her hand out for them. Jen sighed, putting the hook back into the bag slinged over her shoulder. 

“Come on Gabby,” Jen said, taking her nervous sister's hand as they both got into Rebecca's palm. Gabby struggled to stand up a bit, while Jen kept her sister from falling over. Rebecca raised the borrowers up to the table and let them get off. She also places down Tim from her other hand, before pulling a chair from the side of the table, and sitting down. She took some paper plates from a stack that was already on the table and scooped the chinese food onto one from a styrofoam container. 

“I’m guessing you two don’t get warm meals like this too often,” Rebecca said. Jen stood over the paper plate and looked at the pile of noodles, vegetables, and meat on it. She could feel some of the heat from the food on her face.

“Yeah, not really,” Jen said, picking up one of the ends of the noodles and looking at it. “Usually only when the last humans we were borrowing from left it out, and even then it would be cold, and hard to bring back,” she cut a small piece out of the noodle and tasted it, before cutting a much bigger piece and giving it to Gabby, who started eating it immediately. 

“Y’know, some borrowers at the trading market use candles and matches to try cooking stuff,” Tim said, trying to add to the conversation.

“Please, the only thing anyones ever successfully made with the ‘candle stove method’ is tea,” Jen said, “most people are too worried about started a bigger fire, or making smoke that humans would see and follow,” 

“Well, since you’re with me, you’ll be able to have as many warm cooked meals as you want!” Rebecca exclaimed, “I am great cook, after all, maybe I could even find a way to make small meals that are your size,”

“Uh, thanks, but I think we’ll be fine,” Jen said, looking down, taking a bite out of the other half of the noodle. “Tomorrow I’m going with Nora and Liam to find a new house for me and Gabby to borrow from. Hopefully we’ll be out of your hair soon after that,” 

“Oh…” Rebecca looked sideways for a moment, “well, you can always stay here as long as you’d like, ok? In Fact, you can stay here if you want,”

“Uh, no thanks, we…um, wouldn’t want to disturb you or Tim,” Jen said awkwardly.

“Yeah,” Gabby said, “we don’t want to be here when you do whatever gross stuff Jen was talking about to each other,” 

“Gabby!” Jen tugged on Gabbys arm slightly to get her to stop talking. Tim and Rebecca snickered a little.

“Oh, we don’t do anything that…physical, really, it's mainly just cuddling, y’know,” Tim said,

“Yeah, it's really warm and comfortable when we do it, nothing… weird…about it,” 

“...riiight,” Jen said, seeming a bit uncomfortable, Gabby looked at her.

“What would be weird about cuddling?” Gabby asked, confused.

“Well anyways,” Jen said, quickly changing the subject. “Rebecca, Saras coming here for…’tutoring’ tomorrow, right?” 

“Oh, yeah! It’ll be great to talk to another human that knows about you cute little guys,” Rebecca said, Jen groaned slightly. 

“Ooh, Saras coming tomorrow?” Gabby asked, “I can’t wait to see her again, she was really nice when she found me back at her house. I never thought I’d be friends with a human,” 

“Me neither,” Jen said, 

“Well, I’m also a human friend of yours, right?” Rebecca asked. Jen looked down sheepishly,

“Well, uh, you see, your…” Jen looked over at Gabby for a moment,

“You're an adult! It be weird for me to be friends with an adult,” Gabby said, “I’m not friends with liam, Nora, or Tim,” 

“Well, I mean, of course your not,” Tim rubbed his arm, “I mean, we’re not friends like, that, but we’re still…uh, acquainted with you,”

“Your like her godparents,” Jen said, 

“Yeah, yeah…something like that,” Tim said. 

“Or god siblings, since I’m raising her, and our parents are dead,” Jen said,

“Yeah, yeah…” Tim said, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Hmm, maybe I could be your god-parent. How does that sound, tiny?” rebecca asked Gabby, lean towards her, “I could take care you if anything happen to you sister,”

“Oh, no, sorry,” Jen said, pulling Gabby back a bit, “I already told Liam and Nora they could adopt her if i…y’know, so,”

“You did?” Gabby asked,

“Yeah…when you weren’t around,” Jen answered,

“But-” 

“Anyways,” Jen cut Gabby off, “we should probably be getting to bed now, I’m getting up earlier tomorrow to scout out new houses, and Gabby probably shouldn’t stay up too late,”

“Aw, are you sure you two haven't had enough to eat yet, little ones?” Rebecca said. Jen rolled her eyes, Gabby just seemed confused.

“This is the amount we usually get to eat,” Gabby said,

“But are you sure it's enough?” Rebecca asked,

“Goodnight, Rebecca,” Jen said, holding Gabbys hand as they both walked to the edge of the table. 

“Oh, would you like me to help you get down?” Rebecca asked, “if you’d like, your welcome to sleep in the dollhouse tonight, I can get another bed for Gabby to sleep in,”

“No thanks, we’ll sleep in our usual spot tonight,” Jen said, taking her fishing hook out and attaching it to the edge of the table. 

“Oh…okay then…goodnight, tinies,” Rebecca said as she watched Jen and Gabby slide down the string. She sighed as they left the room by themselves. “They don’t like me, do they?” she asked Tim,

“What? No, Jen and Gabby…tolerate you enough,” Tim said, rubbing the back of his neck. “They’re both perfectly fine with you,”

“Really?” Rebecca asked, “half the time they don’t let me help them get around the house, and they won’t even let me know where they’ve been sleeping.” she let out a groan, “and after I’ve been so nice to them, offering them food and shelter and warmth,” 

“A Lot of tinies like to be independent, especially from humans,” Tim said, touching Rebecca's large human hand. “Jens is no different, she’d rather provide for her and her sister. That's why she’s been looking for a new place to stay,” Tim explained. Rebecca sighed.

“I just wish they realized how much better their lives would be with my help. I just want to help them, y’know?” Rebecca said. “If only they trusted me as much as you do,” 

“Hey, even I didn’t trust you at first,” Tim said, “Remember when we first met?”

“Heh, I remember it everyday,” Rebecca said, leaning on the table, laughing a bit while reminiscing. “You were all alone, cornered at the bottom of my sink, just begging me not to hurt you, heh,” she sighed, “you were so cute, scared like that,”

“Uh, I guess i was, huh,” Tim said, scratching his head a bit,

“It was so nice comforting you, petting you and hugging you to calm you down,” Rebecca said, “Jens not like that. Shes not scared at all, she always seem angry, or stern or whatever,”

“You know, you’ve made a lot of progress with Jen,” Tim said, “she’ll warm up to you eventually, I’m sure of it,” 

“What about Gabby? She seems nervous around me, doesn’t she?” Rebecca asked,

“I dunno, Gabby hardly even knows you,” Tim said, “she’s known the rest of us for ages,”

“But isn’t she friends with that Sara girl?” Rebecca asked, 

“I guess they got time to bond one on one,” Tim said, “like we did,”

“Hmm, tomorrow I have the entire day with Gabby…maybe I can get her to like me then!” Rebecca exclaimed, “and once Gabby trusts me, Jen will have to trust me too,”

“Huh, that seems like it could work,” Tim thought out loud, “how would you get her to like you? Even without Jen around, Gabby is going to be pretty cautious, given how Jen teaches her to be,”

“Saras coming tomorrow, right? I’ll just ask her how she became such good friends with Gabby.” Rebecca said, scooping up Tim and holding him in front of her face. Tim let out a yelp that Rebecca didn’t notice, startled by suddenly being picked up. “Soon enough, Gabby and Jen will be as close to me as you are!”

“Heh, yeah,” Tim said while being held by Rebecca, before looking down and thinking about what she said for a moment. “...wait….” Before Tim could finish his thought, Rebecca got down to her knees, causing Tim to feel a bump, before abruptly being plopped onto the ground.

“You talk to Jen and Gabbygabby to make sure they’re fine with me and everything. I’m gonna go get some things that we can do with Gabby tomorrow, I’m pretty sure we have some old board games somewhere around here," Rebecca said before walking away.

“Uh, alright,” Tim said, knowing Rebecca probably didn’t hear him. He rubbed the back of his neck, and started walking towards where Jen and Gabby went.

Jen and Gabby had been sleeping behind a TV stand in Rebeccas living room. It was no more cramped than the average borrower living arrangement, and was full of wires that attached to the wall. It was slightly dusty, and there were old dvd and game cases, some of which the tinies slept under to avoid being seen, folded to stand up like tents. They both had borrowed clean rags and cut up blankets from around the house to sleep on. It was dark there, and the borrowers could turn on a small pen light that was down there if they needed light for any reason. Jen was slightly worried of the wires sparking and causing a fire, but she hadn’t told anyone, especially not Gabby so she wouldn’t be worried too. Between the TV stand and the wall was the only place that Rebecca wouldn’t find them accidentally. Jen had made an agreement with the human that she and Gabby could have their own place to sleep at night without Rebecca knowing exactly where they were, just that they were in the house, and as part of the deal, Jen and Gabby had to be out in the open during the day. Jens side of the agreement was mainly out of issues of trust, and she assumed Rebecca’s was the same, when actually, the human just wanted to be able to see them during the day time. Tim knew where they were, though. Behind a TV stand was a common place for borrowers to hide from humans. He knew about Jens and Rebeccas agreement, though, so he hadn’t told Rebecca where they were. As he walked behind the black stand, he saw Jen tucking Gabby into her makeshift bed under a open movie case for extra darkness and so she wouldn’t be seen. 

“Jen, how long will you be gone tomorrow?” Gabby asked her sister, who was onher knees over her as she sat up on the carpeted floor.

“Around the whole day.” Jen said, “I should be back by the time your getting already asleep. Don’t worry though, I’ll be back before you know it,” Jen said, patting her sisters back. 

“Really? You’ll be careful, right?” Gabby asked, Jen smiled.

“I’ll be fine, I promise I’ll be back before you fall asleep tomorrow, ok?” Jen answered,

“Ok.” Gabby said.

“Make sure you be careful tomorrow, ok?” Jen told her sister, “if you feel in danger, or uncomfortable, or anything like that, run away, ok? Defend yourself if you have to. Get to our safe spot, alright?”

“Alright,” Gabby said, “um, is our safe spot here, or in the vents?” she asked,

“Here at first, and if you can’t be here for any reason, go to the vents, alright?” Jen said,

“Alright,” Gabby said, with a light smile, “goodnight Jen,”

“Goodnight, Gabs,” Jen said, standing up as Gabby laided down and closed her eyes. Jen walk away, stopping when she saw Tim standing across from her. “How long have you been there?” she asked quietly,

“I just got here,” Tim said. Jen sighed, walking towards him.

“So, what's up?” Jen asked, “did Rebecca tell you to ask us if we like her again?”

“Yeah,” Tim said, “she's hoping to make friends with Gabby tomorrow,” 

“Make friends? How?” Jen asked,

“She's thinking of playing board games, and talking to Sara about how to get her to like her,” Tim answered,

“Good, good.doesn’t sound to bad,” Jen said, “maybe Sara will get her to stop being so babyish to us,” 

“Y’know, I’ve haven’t really met Sara, yet,” Tim said, “what’s she like? Why are you two so close to her compared to Rebecca?”

“I wouldn’t say I’m too close to her, we only spoke once,” Jen said. “I dunno. She just seems a lot more understanding than Rebecca is. She never talked down to either of us, never called either of us ‘cute’,” Jen said looking down, “never insisting we stay with her over and over again,”

“Well, I guess Rebecca has a bit of an infantilization issue with you guys,” Tim said, “I’ll try talking to her about it,” 

“Thats what you said last time,” Jen said, rolling her eyes,

“Well, I’ll make sure to really tell her this time.” Tim said. Jen sighed.

“Thanks, Tim.” She said, walking away from him towards where she was sleeping. “See you in the morning,”

“Alright, good night, Jen,” Tim said, leaving Jen and Gabbys spot.

[terapsina]

Okay, it's been a while so here's an additional list of fantasy and sci-fi books with little to no romance in them that I've read recently and really loved.

---

First post with books not heavy on the romantic subplots HERE.

---

Once There Was ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ by Kiyash Monsef.

An Iranian American girl discovers that her recently dead father was a veterinary for magical animals and that she - like him - has inherited the ability to help these animals because of a family line reaching back for hundreds of generations.

The story deals with grief, rage, neglect and how it all intersects.

But it's also an incredibly magical story that wakes up all the wonder and love for animals that most children have and some never lose.

Interspersed through the book are also short fables and legends that Marjan's father used to tell her when she was young and are now gaining new meaning as she understands that they were more than stories.

(totally also recommend the audiobook version for those who enjoy good narration. Nikki Massoud does a freaking excellent job)

(Marjan does develop subtly budding feelings for someone in the story but it's kept very, very background. On a scale from 0 to 10 the romance reaches barely a 2).

---

Vespertine ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ by Margaret Rogerson.

A story about a girl named Artemisia who is training to become a Gray Sister. A nun who cleanses the bodies of the dead so that their souls would not return as ravenous spirits that would then threaten the lives of the living.

But then her convent gets attacked by possessed soldiers and she's forced to pick up a sword holding the spirit of a very powerful revenant - a malevolent spirit of mass destruction that could possess her and kill everyone around her indiscriminately - despite not having the training of a Vespertine. So the only one who can teach her what she needs to know is the Revenant itself.

(The main character is autistic, antisocial and extremely introverted. And as for the romance, there is someone who develops feelings for her and we as the reader kinda notice it, but Artemisia the character notices nothing (also, the someone in question is not the Revenant, just thought I should clarify that). Amounts of romance in the book, like 1/10)

---

A House With Good Bones ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ by T. Kingfisher.

A Southern Gothic light horror with a bit of humor thrown in.

Sam Montgomery is worried about her mother so when her Paleoentomology dig falls through after she's already sublet her apartment for the next few months, she temporarily moves back in with her mother.

The mother who seems to be very stressed out while saying she's fine, and also seems to have acquired a sudden personality transplant. More specifically, she seems to have changed the house from the bright and colorful place it's been for decades, into the cookie cutter, bland (and slightly racist) fifties commercial kinda place it once was under the iron thumb of Sam's dead grandmother.

Is this some kind of weird delayed grief? Early onset alzheimers?

And why isn't there a single bug or insect in the entirety of the back yard's rose garden? Or why does she wake up to thousand's of ladybugs crawling all over each other - and Sam - one night in her childhood bedroom? And what's up with all these vultures staring at their house 24/7?

(Sam's POV is hilarious, her relationship with her mother one of the most genuinely emotional aspects of the book, and the story creepy enough to be exciting without reaching the point that would have made me throw the book down a hole for my own peace of mind. The romance... eh, there's a very nice dude Sam wouldn't mind going out with but it's not all that relevant to anything so amounts of romance don't reach past 2 out of 10).

---

And finally some special shout outs to some other recently read books that I also enjoyed and that don't really have a lot of focus on the romance but that I don't feel like getting into rn.

Thornhedge ⭐⭐⭐⭐ by T. Kingfisher, Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Faeries ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ by Heather Fawcett (okay this one's a bit heavier on the amount of romance but it gets points for not being annoying and still doesn't reach past 4 out of 10 in its amount, would recommend this book for people who enjoyed The Memoirs of Lady Trent), Translation Slate ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐by Ann Leckie, The Strange Case of the Alchemist's Daughter ⭐⭐⭐⭐ by Theodora Goss (the daughters of classical book scientists like Frankenstein, Dr. Jekill and Mr. Hyde, Moreau and others come together to solve some White Chapel murders and maybe uncover a society that has been doing human experiments on women. 0.5 out of 10 on amounts of romance).

[n0-1r]

i have a love hate relationship with the young justice show

on one hand it's a great introduction into dc with (mostly) fun and (kinda) likable characters

I've already made a post about how this show is not really beginner friendly but anyways, on the other hand the plot doesn't really let you enjoy the main cast as a whole and instead has 50 different plotlines at the same time and even veers off the main characters in the third season.

wait let me list my gripes with this show

1. mischaracterisation or a lack of characterisation

yj is infamous for not caring at all for it's main cast in the most recent seasons, all while tripling and even quadrupling the size of the cast. Of course there's bound to be some mischaracterisation but when the main cast is a mismash of various teen heroes from various eras of dc their character arcs get completely thrown off and even rewritten to be such unlikeable people (cough cough super boy cough cough miss martian) i mean how are you going to make a show and have your main characters be completely unlikable and even hated by the fandom.

2. lack of focus on the main cast

ooough young justice season 3 oooooh 👻

such an infamous season. i guess the character arcs of all our main characters being completed makes it slightly more okay but having this season focus on two more completely new casts of characters, one of which is very hated by the community, and having them go through two very different storylines, well the plot is vaguely the same but the character arcs are so different. And if that wasn't enough season two is a mess of yj throwing a band of characters at you and expecting you to immediately know who these people are, which leads me to my next point but first,

I must confess, i watched this show for two particular duos (cough cough birdflash cough cough timkon) well you know how well both of those went so im probably just salty about that.

3. the timeskips.

5 YEARS. 5 WHOLE YEARS BETWEEN SEASON 1 AND 2

oh my goodness so much happens in those 5 years, people are introduced, people leave and people DIE and so, so many plot holes that are just summed up to 'eh something must have happened off screen'

don't even get me started on that mess of a game that was supposed to patch the gap between these two seasons (ok i haven't actually played but have you seen those reviews, i must just read the fandom wiki)

another one of young justice's most 'iconic' features is it's perfectly linear storyline and continuous progression with absolutely no outrageous timeskips. we have characters popping out of nowhere i mean who the hell is spoiler- WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIRD ROBIN oh and miss martian changing her appearance every season, honestly i think shes getting uglier and i didn't even know that was possible (ok i guess she looks fine in the last season)

so you see, i dont really need to explain how bad the timeskips in this show are.

ok wait this has been just a post of me shitting on young justice uhhh guysss yj is sooo good you should totallyyyy watch

ok wait if you're just getting into dc young justice is a good watch but take the characterisation with a grain of salt okay, please trust me when superboy and miss martian are not like that. and kal is great but garth was actually the first aqualad and i hate to break it to you but artemis does not exist and spitfire is not real

so moral of the story, watch teen titans instead 🔥🔥🔥

[justatalkingface]

I saw your post about Black Whip and I wanted to get your opinion on something that to me, is so damn obvious, but maybe I am looking at it differently than others.

When Midoriya is explained how Black Whip works, why isn’t the first thing in his head is, “Hey, I should talk and pick at Tokoyami’s brain to get some insight from him on how to keep it under control!”? Because when Banjo explained Black Whip, my mind immediately went, “That’s literally Dark Shadow, just not sentient.”

And it would have been a perfect segway into Tokoyami possibly becoming a more defined character if he’s hanging around Midoriya and they chat and Izuku gets to know Tokoyami better. Because for the most part, Tokoyami is around Hawks a lot, but he acts a bit like a blind fanboy to him and we never explore Tokoyami more, it’s always about Hawks.

Then it could have started a trend. When Midoriya unlocks Float, then introduce Uraraka into the meetings. And both her and Tokoyami can replace Bakugou because he was absolutely useless and obnoxious in Midoriya’s “training”. And for the other quirks, Midoriya will gradually gain his own circle of trust with OFA and the stored quirks through their help of similar quirks or advice from other brainy students like Yaoyorozu, Iida, and Todoroki. Such as how All Might had his own circle that knew the actual truth about OFA when he was it’s wielder.

I don’t know, I just think Horikoshi squandered an opportunity to flesh a few more prominent characters and instead stuck to the boring, tedious BakuDeku scenes.

*tilts head*

That... that is actually a really good point? I never thought of it, probably because he wasn't really even a character at that point, but it makes a lot of sense.

Both of them are dark, shapeshifting energy, and both of them require self control... somehow. Not quite sure how that works for Tokoyami since they never really got into how he 'self controls' a separate entity, but, damn. This would have been a great way to get into it. I mean, hell, in the war arc Izuku uses Black Whip to get past his body's limitations by supporting himself and cushioning impact of OFA (which I'm... eh on), but that's really similar to how Tokoyami uses his Quirk later on in the story with Black Abyss. That being a collaboration idea between them is great character development, and makes these newer power ideas feel more organic than they are when a big fight rolls around and Character X deploys New Power Y seemingly out of nowhere.

And using that as a segway into introducing OFA to the rest of the class, rather than just finding out in a note (I mean, considering how disconnected all of that felt by that point, I'm kind of confused to why Izuku even told them at that point, you know?)? Using Izuku as the glue to bind 1A together (like he was implied to at one point, before they stopped being relevent)? That's honestly inspired, it really is.

So much of the drama thus far in the Final Arc is built around 1A, but they're so out of focus, so undeveloped, and such strangers that it makes it all fall flat...er. But if we get an arc or two of Izuku binding them all together, making them relevent again, then the stakes would feel that much bigger to us (and you know, we could avoid the Dark Deku arc all together, or at least make it feel more... anything, really. And less dumb.)

Hori squandering opportunities to waste them utterly, or drop some fraction of the idea on someone else isn't a new thing, but damn, now I'm really regretting this was never a thing.

[lovely-showtimes]

Hehe… silly request time… Can you do Tsukasa, Airi, and Haruka x a reader who is “self-aware” (self-aware in this instance meaning they know they’re in a game)? It’s okay if not (^_^)

♡ . self aware.

characters - haruka, airi.

type - scenario.

warnings - unreality.

a/n - i'm so sorry that this took so long T_T i wanted to get to this earlier because i think 'self aware characters' as a concept is very interesting !!! but my brain wouldnt let me write unfortunately... haruka might be ooc, despite how much i love them im very unfamiliar with mmj as characters & their stories </3 i'm also sorry for not doing tsukasa for this one, i wanted to include him and i originally did have an idea for his section, but i took so long to write this i forgot what it was ... i hope you enjoy anyway!

"Do you see anything you like?" You call over your shoulder, turning your attention away from the sweatshirts in front of you.

Airi stands by several dresses, scrutinising them. The two of you decided to go out shopping together, as you felt like your wardrobe was lacking. Airi was eager to help, confident in her sense of style that she can get you something nice, as well as something for herself.

Her brow creases in thought and she stops in front of one particular dress.

"C'mere for a sec," she calls back to you, and you walk over. Airi steps to the side, gesturing to the dress with a furrowed brow.

"Have I worn this before?" She asks. "I mean, I doubt you'd know, but still. It feels so familiar, but I also feel like I've never seen it before."

You squint at the dress. That's right... you recognise it, don't you?

"You wore that in the trained version of your Re-tie Friendship card, didn't you?" You comment quietly. "I liked that one, it was pretty."

Airi goes quiet for a few moments. You catch a befuddled look on her face out of the corner of your eye. "...Excuse me? What's a 'Re-tie Friendship card'...?"

You spin to face her, eyes wide. "Eh? It was your third focus event. Don't you remember it?"

Her confusion only grows. "What on earth are you saying? No, I don't remember it."

Your eyes lock for a brief period of time, the two of you studying each other for a single hint of what the other was talking about. Then, it hits you.

"Oh!" You gasp. "You didn't know about the whole game thing...? I thought everybody knew, but we weren't supposed to talk about it."

The fact of your entire life being a simple game was one you've always been aware of. You had never tried to bring it up to anyone else, or research it before. It had never occurred to you - it was as obvious a fact as saying "the sky is blue".

Airi shakes her head, placing a hand on her temples. "You're making no sense! What game thing?"

You open your mouth to respond, but you hesitate. Should you really elaborate on what you mean? Maybe it's for the best that you don't tell Airi about your shared existence within a game. It might be a bit much to take in all at once.

Maybe another time.

You smile brightly and shake your head. "Oh, you know what? I just realised, I was thinking of something else. Oopsies! Ignore me."

"...Right." Confusion and slight frustration still lingers on Airi's face, but she sighs and shakes her head. You're probably just referencing something from some game you like, right? Maybe she should look into it later, to understand what you just said to her.

Airi's gaze drifts back to the dress once more. That feeling of déjà vu still hovers in the recesses of her mind when she gazes at it, and it's unsettling. Maybe she should look for something different to wear.

"I had the strangest dream last night," Haruka comments, staring at the sandwich in her hands thoughtfully. The sun shines down on you both as you sit on a warm, grassy hill on a red-and-white checkered blanket.

You beam brightly, head tilted curiously. You swallow the bite of food in your mouth. "Oh? What happened?"

"I was dancing to a song I've never heard before. It was in a completely different style than we usually dance to as well, it was quite mellow and calm. I was dancing with a few other people too... Kohane, Ichika, and two other people I didn't recognise... a girl with grey-ish green hair, and a boy with ginger hair."

Haruka shakes her head. "How strange. And the weirdest part was, when I woke up, I remember thinking 'Ah, another one of those dreams'. I haven't dreamt of anything like that before."

She takes a thoughtful bite of her sandwich.

You can't help laughing a little at her bizarre dream. "I always have those dreams! The people who play this game like to make us dance with the other characters. It's quite fun, I like trying to think of what kind of person makes me dance to a certain song with certain people."

You tap your chin curiously. "Perhaps they like to think of me and the others in a romantic relationship? Perhaps they like to think of a different scenario where we are in a band together? Perhaps they feel romantically towards me? It's so interesting."

You chuckle to yourself once more, taking another bite of food. Goodness, it's so tasty. The work the two of you put together to create this whole picnic really paid off! You were especially looking forward to trying those cupcakes, you put a little extra love into each of them! In particular, you-

"Love, what game? What- What are you talking about?"

Haruka's voice snaps you out of your thoughts. Her gaze is full of confusion and concern for you. Her grip on her sandwich has gotten just a little tighter.

You simply gaze back at her as if it's all perfectly normal. "The game we're in. You didn't know?"

Silence hangs in the air. Haruka's gaze shifts around, landing on you for a moment or two before looking away.

Eventually, she clears her throat and nods, deciding to play along. "Right! Of course, I remember now. How could I have forgotten?"

Your joke had unsettled her a little, but she decides to just shake it off. That's all it was, anyway. You're just joking, aren't you?

...Aren't you?

[nofacednerd]

Okay now that my excitement over the new season has worn off a little, here’s some season 4 thoughts

Starting out with the stuff I do really like:

- Hughie’s storyline is genuinely so heart wrenching for me. I’m one of those freaks that stayed up watching the new episodes until 6 in the morning and let me tell you, I was VASTLY unprepared to get hit with the childhood divorce trauma at 5 AM. Having him workshop an angry response to his mom was so real of him 😭 excited to see where it goes this season

- BUTCHER! The second they brought in Kessler (who is definitely a real human being that Butcher is seeing only coincidentally when he’s alone and knows a weird amount about him and what’s going on) I thought the rest of the season was going to be Butcher being worse and worse until we go down the route of the comics. Genuinely surprised and kind of delighted that he’s turned a bit of a sympathetic edge this season. I kind of hope we see him and Hughie more, especially after the whole ‘you remind me of my dead little brother’ thing last season.

- Speaking of last season, it seems like they’ve been trying to roll back on some of the problems I had with season 3 (eh. Kind of at least). Butcher apologizing to Ryan for his outburst, Annie and Hughie still being in a pretty good place with their relationship, Hughie talking about regretting the V, ect ect

- Also so glad they remembered that Hughie is actually really good with technology. Usually they only remember it maybe once early on in the season, but they consistently referenced him being the tech guy of the group (though I wish we could have seen Hughie showing Kimiko how to hack into the CIA database 😭 why are the writers so afraid of them having scenes together)

- ALSO so glad they remembered that Hughie and Neuman were really close before her betrayal in season 3!!!!! I hope they have more scenes together later on. I think Neuman, despite everything, still does care about him since she tried to convince Homelander not to kill him

- Sage is really interesting to me tbh, probably one of the few new characters that I’m actually enjoying. Like girl what is your deal

Okay now the bad stuff :/

- I’m kind of annoyed that they’re continuing the trend of sidelining Hughie in favor of focusing more on Butcher vs Homelander, especially because Hughie started as the protagonist of the show. I get that his storyline right now isn’t the most ‘plot relevant’ but it feels like he barely has done anything but be a supporting character in most scenes for Annie or MM to play off of

- Everything feels so…. Disconnected? One of my bigger issues with season 3 was that they pushed Kimiko and Frenchie away from the plot to focus on a more personal story for Frenchie, so their whole deal that season just kind of felt… forgettable? This season is like that but with EVERYONE which concerns me. Shows with the protagonists having their own plot lines that come together in the end work, but The Boys just has too many characters and too few episodes to explore those plot lines meaningfully so that they get wrapped up in a satisfying way. Idk I guess we’ll see

- Speaking of, the show has too many characters. This is a consistent problem each season, where they introduce new characters that kind of take the spotlight over the other ones. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. My biggest problem this season though is Colin. They introduced him off-screen and made him and Frenchie start flirting I guess off-screen. Same with Kiara and Annie. Then when the season started, the show told us to care about these new characters without actually showing us why we should care about them beyond “he’s Frenchie’s boyfriend!!” It’s kind of frustrating?

- This is more minor, but MM is kind of pissing me off :( it’s kind of another case of ‘oh btw all these characters had character development off screen during the time gap between seasons’ that they did during season 3. It’s the same issue I had with Hughie during that season too, he just kind of feels out of character…?

- why do I feel bad for an octopus. Ambrosius girl you can do so much better than the Deep

[bikananjarrus]

some thoughts on the acolyte episode 6*

(*reminder that this is my opinion and is based off a first watch. my opinion may change after sitting with the episode a bit more; and i will reserve final judgement on the show as a whole once it's all out)

let's start with what i liked:

it was nice seeing more of venestra (lightwhip!!! hyperspace visions reference!!!), and she felt the most like vernestra in this episode so far to me.

it seemed to me that they were hinting at vernestra being qimir's master, which i am not at all opposed to. also if she took a crack at him with her lightwhip and kicked him out of the order, i trust her judgement asdfsdjkl. that's my girl! regardless, she at least seemed to maybe suspect qimir was responsible for the murders, so even if he wasn't her padawan, maybe she still knows who he is/who his master was, and i'm eager to see that play out.

manny is fantastic as qimir. he has a very calm presence that i don't think we've ever seen from another sith/dark-sider before. (like the closest i think would be dooku, but dooku still had to work under palpatine, and really, who could ever be truly calm in that situation lol.) but manny's presence as qimir is really refreshing, and he definitely has a gravity to him, and it was really great seeing this calmer appearance to him after his slaughter last episode. (wish they would focus more on this duality than just playing up the "manny hot, villain hot, that's good enough." like yes, manny is a beautiful man. but i would like to see a beautifully developed character more)

some things i am disliking at this point in the show (and which became a bit more apparent with this episode):

it does not feel great sidelining the black woman lead(s) for male characters and their man pain (ie qimir's apparent tragic backstory and sol's probable Bad Shit that he did on brendok). it's fantastic having asian leads as well, but it sucks that it has to be at the expense of the leading black woman (especially when amandla has been leading press and has been advertised as THE main character).

going off that, i feel like osha and mae's development is not where it should be at this point in the show. obvs we have 2 episodes left, there's still time for more answers, and i'm guessing we're going to be building to a final confrontation between them. but i still feel like i barely understand their relationship outside of "mae is obsessed with getting osha back, and osha lowkey hates mae and thinks she's a criminal." it's just very surface level for the relationship that is supposed to be the central conflict of the show (with their relationship with sol being the very close secondary conflict).

i feel like we started to touch on the fact that, even though they have a conflicted relationship with each other, there's still a deep connection there. they're twins, and they have a shared history, a shared traumatic event from their childhood. but i barely even feel like they're sisters at this point :/ even pitting them against each other, the conflict between them feels flat. i didn't think their scene at the ep5 had as much weight as it should've, so unless there's some serious development in the next 2 eps, i don't have a lot of hope for their final confrontation being super emotionally satisfying.

and now on top of that, osha is getting more face time with qimir than her own sister. she's asking more questions than she has the rest of the show now that she's with qimir. it's um. hm. 😐 i think qimir and osha's relationship is intriguing (and amandla and manny play off each other really well), but it's with the villain that we get to see most of osha's development? idk, it just doesn't feel great. especially when mae was introduced as his student first, and they just gave us a throwaway "eh, mae didn't want what i want, i made a mistake with her" and that's that.

(i'm hoping next episode they actually give us more of mae's side of the story, but i'm also now nervous that sol's war crimes are going to take the focus, and not mae's journey from the night of the fire on brendok to how she ends up with qimir)

pacing in this episode itself was fine, but as far as how it fits into the pacing of the show overall is not great. this is a mystery show, so it's fine that there are still some unanswered questions. but it feels like there are A LOT of holes right now, and it's a lot to cover in two episodes.

like this episode didn't move things along as much as it should have, probably. everything with qimir and osha, fine. but why did we spend so long on sol's ship being stuck in space? i get they were trying to build up to him and mae finally confronting each other, but the tension was not there. and i get his judgement was clouded with grief and all that, but i just don't think it needed to take him that long to figure out it was mae. i think it would've been more satisfying if he'd figured it out right away, and we actually got him talking about brendok in this episode. like we already KNOW he was involved in whatever happened on brendok, and it was shady enough that master torbin killed himself over it. so like just tell us already please. and then spend the last 2 episodes resolving it. him talking to mae about brendok (telling her the truth) would've also played really well off of qimir and osha's scenes (with him telling her what she wanted to hear; probably some truth, definitely some lies in there too).

if the season was 12, or even just 10 eps, fine. it feels like they’re setting up for a s2 which would also be fine, IF i thought a season 2 was guaranteed. (But with how much hate the show has gotten, I can see them not investing in more.)

overall, mostly solid ep (the performances continue to deliver), but i think the pacing issues are rearing their head again, and i really don't like that osha & mae keep getting sidelined in THEIR show :/

[belphegor1982]

Top 5 OTPs (Shows, movies, books etc) and why. GO!

OH OKAY UM

The thing is that I rarely ship romantically. Like, at all. There's a small number of ships that I'll always ship (and/or have been for decades) and the rest is tiers of "yeah, that's nice" to "eh, apathetic" to notps. So... I guess?? In vaguely order of current rotation in my brain, kebab-style??

Pike Trickfoot/Scanlan Shorthalt (Critical Role, Vox Machina campaign/The Legend of Vox Machina) My heart, my soul, my liver. I love them with a determination inversely proportional to the small place they seem to have in the fandom. It's a relationship that evolves over time (slow burn? do you slow burn?) because the individuals evolve over time. Character development first, relationship development second! And there's hesitation, and Fucking Up, and so much love and hand-holding/taking before both seriously consider the other as a romantic partner/equal (as opposed to on a pedestal). Also they're pure chaos separately as well as together and I respect that.

Evelyn Carnahan/Rick O'Connell (The Mummy films) Speaking of chaos! And love! And respect and growth! I've loved them since 1999 and even more since 2001's The Mummy Returns gave us battle marrieds who support each other and clearly can't keep their hands off each other. They perfectly complement one another, they build up each other's strength, they have inside jokes, and they love one another so much they constantly annoy their brother(-in-law) and kid. Those films are my comfort food. Also very pretty and nice/fun to draw.

Reginald Jeeves/Bertram Wooster (P. G. Wodehouse's Jeeves short stories/Jeeves & Wooster) We're leaving canon and entering fanon and what a fanon, ladies and gentlefolk. Over 100 years old and in love with rapier wit, art deco, and smart men and their (not quite) idiots. The thing with this ship is that it should be entirely unbalanced: Bertie is Jeeves' employer and above him in social status. Bertie should have all the power, and Jeeves none. But Wodehouse excels at showing us how much that isn't true, because Jeeves is very, very smart, and Bertie, while the smartest of his social circle (...yes, really) and as pure of heart as he is dumb of ass, relies on him 100% (and is basically the Jack Black pointing meme. He loves his manservant SO MUCH). I love a loveable idiot with a dose of self-awareness and self-esteem issues and an unflappable brain going "...ah. yes. unfortunately that is my idiot."

Chel/Tulio/Miguel (The Road to El Dorado) Come on, I HAD to sneak in an OT3 :3 I shipped them before I even really knew what shipping was. I love me an OT3, and this is a perfect example. You start with a dreamer with Determination (all open heart and sunshine) and an insecure flamboyant conman who is very good at lying (especially to himself) who would die for each other a thousand times, and you add a jaded cynic stifled by her environment who sleeps with (and catches feelings for) one and gets on well with the other and BAM, perfect recipe! Because Tulio and Miguel are ride or die for each other and I don't see that changing with Chel in the picture! ANYWAY. Love them and only want good for them.

Scrooge McDuck/"Glittering" Goldie O'Gilt (Carl Barks and Don Rosa Disney Ducks comics) Ooooh them. I have a soft spot for asshole pairings, and they deliver. Reading The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck (and other comics) really bring into focus all the might have beens and the missed opportunities either by way of fate or one or both of them being dumbasses. They can't live with each other, they are 100% incompatible, but also they carry each other's heart and they will probably never love anyone else That way. Will they get a happy ending? I don't know! Do I want them to? I have no idea!! I just love them in a "Le Tourbillon" (the French song) way: people who find each other, lose sight of each other, find each other again, and the whole cycle starts once more. Sometimes it's not about having, it's about wanting and yearning and reminiscing <3

Thank you for the opportunity to ramble, dear anon 💜

[quillandrapier]

Uhhh my ghosts thoughts

Spoilers under the cut but

TLDR: I enjoyed parts of it but was underwhelmed as a whole. It was a nice episode but fails to reach the heights of season 3

First I will say, I was happy while watching the episode I enjoyed lots of things.

Seeing the ghosts, Mike and Alison with the baby was wonderful. Really lovely. Mia is a lovely name and they really are great parents.

I would have liked more ghosts backseat parenting as a whole. Might have driven home the need for Alison to get away from them, rather than lady button needing to let Alison breathe. That or there being a bigger B-plot. Robin as the character who doesn't feel Christmassy feels eh, if there wasn't a bigger pay off than a speech about them moving on then maybe.

Kitty should have been the character. It would have been a lovely period of growth, and almost like a growing up type thing. Kitty grew up enough that she is ready to let Alison go.

They really missed the jokes in this episode. I maybe had two big laughs. Season 5 as a whole felt a lot less funny (other than En Francis.) like in the exorcism scene, when they realised they were going to be okay and it didn't work they should have made a joke.

I dont know if id ask for more ghosts in the episode. The show is Alison's and Mike's story. It's the Ghosts who are the supporting their story. They are the foundation and the last episode has to focus on them.

Finally the ending. Im fine with it. I think it's the right ending for the show. I don't know how else they could have ended it without making a massive swing or left it open ended (which would have been less complete)

Yes things are different and that's okay but they really should have constructed season 5 as a whole to support the ending. Yes it makes sense now the baby is here things are so different but my point is why then even make last resort? Why not make the episode end with the Julian reveal and speech still but don't introduce the idea of selling it in that episode. Maybe a line in A Christmas Gift about an offer to sell the house that Alison blows off saying "I don't think I could ever leave, I don't think the Ghosts would even let me" but as the episode builds we realise the ghosts have grown enough that they can face an afterlife without Alison always being a shout away. That like family it was time for her to leave the nest and grow as her own new family that still visits the old one.

It's my biggest issue with the episode. Also I really dislike the reaction fans are having to each other having differing opinions. Like don't directly sent hate to the creators (or even joke hate wtf) but also... Let people dislike it. Let people like it.

Anyway, a nice episode but as a final bow felt more of a whimper that turns into a yell rather than a standing ovation.

[rowanthestrange]

Someone have fun and play brain tennis with me. Brain squash it’s more dangerous and shouty and done in doubles. Stupid name for a solid idea for a sport. Hit things off walls with me until it gives us points. Just want to run things. Stream of consciousness it.

What are we doing with ‘Triad’? What are we doing with three?

First thought: the same thing we did last time with Chibs, this is a god trinity in three parts thing. Back then that was a physical Doctor, child Doctor, and spirit-projection Doctor.

Doctor as God. Fine. Got the Pantheon, haven’t shied away from it. Probably a mirror, we emphasised the Doctor recognising mirrors this time.

Second thought: Triplets? We’re talking about changeling children, does three rather than the usual two get us anything? We’re solving Ruby’s story this finale. Is she one of three? That’s what being a foundling means you have no idea of your family - we focus on parents but what about siblings? You could have whole maybe identical versions of yourself you don’t know, separated off? Maybe bringing them all together is a harbinger of The End, that’s what we did with the Maestro. Changeling girl, she should be magic. The trap was a triangle - the three together could be a trap.

But more importantly what would that hypothetical do with our “The Doctor literally recognised a character as a mirror in-universe pay attention” situation? What would it mean for the Doctor down the road?

First obvious equivalent that comes to mind - the Timeless Child baby Doctor was originally a trigeneration?

First thought - Stupid dogshit basics: The Doctor and the Master being bigenerations seems rational and neat and organic fine. And I mean we do three, we’ve done three before with them, we do the Doctor, Master, and Rani. Generally keep them together. Sure on paper it’s the most fandom history appropriate option sure, but probably literally impossible rights-wise and eh. Just eh. The idea of it is the psychic equivalent of a soggy digestive. Doesn’t feel good it feels too nerdy in a bad way. Not that my feelings matter, but it doesn’t feel like something Russell Tussell Davies would vibe with.

So who else would you have? You’re not going to be able to pull off a new OC idea for something so essential, I don’t think. I can’t think how you would anyway, and you’d really need the fandom to get on board with the idea.

Would Fourteen, Fifteen, but wayyyyy back the Master count? Bigeneration then bigeneration again is kind of three. But it was bi-generation cus they split in two, tri-generation would have to be split in three surely. It wouldn’t feel like three otherwise. And fuck me we can’t get Tennant for long work anyway.

The thing is the Doctor and Master (who’d makes sense, we know he’s coming back) are already so in balance. The Rani is more amoral selfish so manages to sort of fit in a place with them, but even then she’s villain material. Wonks it. What do you do outside that? You’d need a neutral I suppose. Chaotic Good, Chaotic Neutral, Chaotic Evil.

We ball and do Iris lol. Hey the Thoschei’s making it in/selfcesty anyway.

…Could you do normal? Like not a freak? Trigeneration implies by its nature the capacity for future regeneration though. …Or does it actually? We don’t know Fourteen can regenerate. Actually makes life harder if they can.

Wait that could work actually right?

Kid comes through portal. Human/Whatever Vinder and Bel are which seems basically the same/Not-thing that copies a humanoid/Whatever, kid comes through portal. Is altered by ‘the vortex’ (Radiation? Sentience? Who cares) like River was, which gives them the ability to regenerate. They fall hundreds of feet and probably do so immediately.

We know there’s a second boy, but the story never explains why he’s suddenly in it, the Master shows him and the accidental murder, but never explains who the kid is or why he’s there.

The fandom default is the other kid was probably the Master, and experimented on by Tecteun using the Child’s regeneration energy to start creating what we’d eventually know as the Time Lords. Frankenstein.

Perfectly logical that the kid could have been a bigenerate that didn’t have the ability to regenerate, but Tecteun’s experiment gave it to him.

The Doctor and Master being changelings for each other, obvious, again I definitely argue Chibs’s intent was the Division would just swap them over, it makes Martin!Doctor’s handholding-without-blinovitching and the Doctor!Master beating the Master!Doctor thing work nicely. And Rusty has wanted to carry on Chibs’s themes and work. So… what if originally there were three? Maybe one got saved? Save the baby, literally finish Chibs’s theme but in an unexpected way.

What if you said fuck the mirror? Maybe that’s literally just Ruby.

They act like siblings. Didn’t we say that from the start?

alright your serve.

Triad, three, go.