#I should have made his hand more glowy but it made me sad

[aprocessionofthoughts]

Unexpected Company

whumptober23 day 30- borrowed clothing fandom- dp x dc TW- none summary- Dick meets Danny

ao3 whumptober23 masterlist part 8 of DLM

Jason stared at where Danny had been, as he heard one of his brothers, probably Dick climb in through the window.

“Jason! Are you okay?” Dick came over and started looking over the places he’d been hit, hands fluttering over Jason like he wanted to perform a physical examination.

“I’m fine, Dick. The kid got me out” he heard someone shuffle off to the side, but avoided looking in that direction. He pushed himself to a seating position, his torso only protesting slightly. Guess his wounds weren’t one-hundred percent healed.

“The kid?” Dick looked around. “Where is he? And who were those agents?”

“Those agents are called the GIW, or ghost investigation ward.” Jason said he avoided looking at where he thought the kid was. If he could prove Nightwing could be trusted with the knowledge that Jason was part ghost, then the kid would be more comfortable showing himself. He just hoped Dick responded right.

“Ghosts?” Dick said a bit skeptical, but not outright denying the possibility. They had seen some pretty strange stuff because of their vigilante careers.

Jason nodded. “According to them, I’m part ghost.” “But,” Dick said, looking a bit sad now, “you’re alive.”

Jason nodded and shoved down all his worry and intrusive thoughts. This was for the kid. “I am, but science I died, I’m still dead adjacent, and that’s enough for the GIW to hunt down. But they also,"Jason said to make sure he was perfectly clear, “hunt down full ghosts, which are actually real.”

Dick paused. “The kid told you this?” He didn’t say it skeptically, but with genuine curiosity.

“Yeah, and I believe him.”

Dick nodded. “Okay. Ghosts aren't that far fetched considering aliens and demons are also a thing. Where is the kid?”

Jason tilts his head and waits, Dick looks confused for a moment but then Danny, still with glowy hair and eyes, appears beside the couch. He’s fidgeting and biting his lip while avoiding eye contact. But Jason counts it as a win that Danny showed himself.

Dick, for his part, only startles a little bit, but then he smiles. “Hello kid, I’m Nightwing.”

Danny glances at Jason before turning back to Dick, “I’m Danny.”

“Nice to meet you.Thank you for saving my brother, he tends to get into a lot of trouble.” “Hey!” 

Danny smirked, “I can see that.”

Fine. Jason would be willing to withstand some teasing if it made Danny smile.

“And are you okay?” dick continued. “These GIW agents didn’t shoot you?”

Danny shook his head, “Nah, but I should probably head out. That’s what I was doing when I saw they’d found Jason.”

Dick tried to hide his concern, but Jason knew him well enough to see it. “Where are you heading off to? You got a place to stay?”

Danny fidgeted. “Not really. But you don’t need to worry. I can take care of myself. I’ll be fine.”

Jason felt his emotions go out to the kid. No kid should be on their own, it shouldn’t be their responsibility to take care of themselves. He’d protect this kid, make sure to keep him safe, no matter what.

Danny gave him a strange look and Jason felt exposed. He shifted on the couch and cleared his throat. “You can stay here, Danny. We can have people watch for any more agents and lock up any who try to get into Gotham.”

“You don’t–”

“Nope. I may not need to, but I want to. Consider it, thanks for saving me.” Jason said, staring at Danny and trying to convey his honesty.

“Great,” Dick said, moving towards the kitchen. “I’ll get you some tea, Jason. Do you want some Danny?”

“No thanks.”

“You better not burn my apartment down.” Jason called after him.

“I know how to use a microwave.”

“That’s debatable.” Jason muttered.

He noticed Danny staring at him, and turned toward the kid.

“Do you really trust him?”

Jason pushed down the Pit, whispering to him that Dick never cared, and answered the question with the answer that he believed on good days “Yes, I do.”

Danny stared at him for a moment, and then turned to stare off toward the kitchen. 

Jason could swear his eyes glowed brighter. It reminded him of the Pit, and he had to push down those thoughts and remember that Danny had explained that the Pit was probably just contaminated ectoplasm. 

Then Danny nodded, and a ring appeared around his waist, before splitting and traveling up and down him. After the light show had faded, Jason was left staring at the version of Danny he had met.

“Wow, you’ve got your own magic girl transformation scene.”

Danny blushed, bringing his hand up to rub the back of his neck. “I guess.”

Dick chose that moment to come in. He froze for a second staring at Danny as the kid fidgeted, before Dick smiled and handed Jason the tea he had made. Jason took a sip, it was drinkable.

“So, Jason, I guess you're the one who ended up inheriting the adoption gene?”

Jason nearly spit out the tea he had just taken a drink of. He glanced over at Danny. The kid looked confused but also slightly amused.

When Jason could finally breathe again, he ignored his brother and turned toward Danny. 

“Since you’ll at least be staying the night, which you are, you probably want to take a shower. Dick can get you some clothes you can borrow, while I work on making us some food.”

Danny glanced at the window once more before nodding.

“Great. Dick if you’ll show him the bathroom, I’ll get started on some stew.”

Jason carefully made his way to the kitchen, being careful of his still aching torso. He didn’t know how deep Danny’s healing had gone, and wanted to make sure he didn’t aggravate any internal bruising. 

Jason herald the shower turn on, and a moment later Dick stepped into teh kitchen.

They were silent for a moment before Dick spoke up.

“Does he know you’re identity?”

“Just my first name.”

Another moment of silence. “So,he’s also a ghost adjacent?”

“Yeah, but you’ll have to ask him for specifics.” Jason said as he started pulling out ingredients. 

“Of course.” Dick leaned against the counter as Jason began tossing ingredients in the pot. 

Dick shifted and Jason glanced over. “I know,” Dick started, speaking softly, “you may be more comfortable in your apartment, but the manor will be easier to protect, especially with those agents after you both.”

Jason tenses and fights down the immediate instinct to argue. What Dick is saying is true. They don’t really know who these GIW agents are, and if they’re also targeting Jason then it would be best to have more people around to help protect the kid.

He sighed, “We’ll stay here for tonight, and I’ll talk with him in the morning.”

“That’s all I ask, Jaybird.” Dick said and ruffled Jason’s hair.

The only reason Jason didn't shove him off was because he was in the middle of stirring his stew and didn’t want the ingredients to stick to the pan, or at least that's what he told himself.

[hollandsangel]

one last time | peter parker

hellooo and welcome to the final part of the once before series! this little series was so fun to play with, poor petey deserved a happier ending in nwh

summary: things are finally starting to make sense

warnings: ANGST, sad, so much sad sandwhiched between some extremely domestic fluff

wc:

read part one!

gif by @venomsilk !

it’s late, nearly eleven pm. the silver glint of the moon spotlighting the vietnamese take out on the bar top. “peter? can i tell you something?” you ask, looking up from your box of noodles, chopsticks forgotten in the styrofoam.

peter’s back is towards you, undoubtedly trying to shield is failing attempts of properly using his own chopsticks. you breathe out a laugh when you hear him groan softly out of frustration before he turns to you, still holding the utensil poorly, “yeah, baby, what’s up?”

“do you want me to help you?” you giggle, watching him fumble.

“no, i got i think i got, may told me i was supposed to hold them like…” he trails off, hyperfocused on the task at hand. it’s all you can do to smile, feeling a golden warmth bloom in your chest, knowing it doesn’t hurt him to talk about his aunt anymore.

he’d told you how she died, in his arms in a collapsing building, and it left you aching, knowing he had to leave her. there’s a part of you that feels there’s details of his story missing, or maybe it felt like you’d heard it before, experienced it even. you tried not to think about it too much.

“so, uh, what did you actually wanna ask me?” he seems almost nervous, but you guess he always sounds nervous. you think it might be one of the thousand reasons you fell in love with him.

peter leans over the counter, elbows resting on the cool marble with his hands clasped. his biceps flex under the sleeves of his “i survived my trip to nyc” shirt. for a second, you swear an image of him standing in your parents living room in the shirt, much less filled out, flashes through your mind.

“no, no that wasn’t it.” idly you tap at the countertop, “do-do you ever feel like,” you sigh, trying to articulate an effective way to say this, “like we’ve been here before?” when you look up at him you know what he sees. he sees you grasping, desperate for his answer. 

he looks like he knows what you’re talking about, more so than you do, “yeah…i guess,” he clears his throat, “but what..what makes you feel like that?”

“i um..i have this necklace…it’s kinda broken and i don’t know where i got it and-and this one night, like a year ago i was, standing on the statue of liberty with ned and literally nothing made sense and then i met you and i had this existential feeling of…of i know you and for so long so many pieces have been missing. it’s like-“ you take a pause, understanding just how crazy you sound, but he says nothing, waiting for you continue as if he’s waited for these exact words since he walked into that bakery, “like there are so many moments that aren’t there anymore but then you came along and…and it felt like i wasn’t so lost, like i was finally coming home.”

peter is gaping at you like a fish. he doesn’t look surprised though, or astounded. he looks afraid. 

you can’t look at him any longer, shaking your head and redirecting your gaze to your folded hands on the table, “i-i know i sound crazy and totally incoherent, but–” 

the sound of his bare feet shuffling across the kitchen keep you from looking away for too long. he pulls a chair out, the feet scraping along the floor. you watch the glowy smile that usually resides behind his eyes harden into something you don’t see very often. it’s sad and it’s stern and you feel like there are so many important moments that you’re missing when he looks at you like that.

he remembers them all though.

“y/n, it’s tony, he-he didn’t make it.”

“beck…he lied, god i screwed up…”

“she died in my arms y/n, i should have been able to save her.”

you almost regret your little outburst, wishing you could dissolve the melancholy creasing his brows and replace it with the honey glazed grin from before.

“you don’t sound crazy y/n.” peter promises, his words coming out in a sigh. you can tell he’s scared of what he’s about to say next, scared of how you’ll digest it. “but i really gotta tell you something.” he’d been staring down at the table, fingers twitching against the smooth surface, but now he looks up at you, pained and almost teary eyed.

“peter..” you barely hear yourself say it, and you only know you reached out to him from the feel of the warm skin of his forearm under your fingertips.

“i-i know where you got the necklace.” his voice is gruff, but he continues, “i gave it to you, on our school science trip to europe.”

you remember the trip, ned and betty had got together on the flight across the sea and broke up on the flight home. but peter wasn’t there.

“pete, you didn’t even go to midtown.”

he looks like you just shot him in the chest.

“i did.” he’s pleading with you, as if you've had this conversation a million times and you simply refuse to believe him. “god,” he scrubs his hands over his face and takes a deep breath in an attempt to self-soothe, “a few years ago, my identity got leaked, some dude that worked for tony stark and went rouge after he died–” you don’t say anything, and peter isn’t sure if he’s grateful for it or not. “in the video he made it seem like i killed him, and destroyed half of london, but i swear i didn’t.” you reach out for him then, fingers sliding down his arm to stop and entangle with his own. 

“i believe you.” and even though he hadn’t gotten to the worst of it yet, your sentiment eased some of the turmoil sloshing around in his stomach.

“it-it was getting really bad, everybody hated me, and when you, ned and i applied to MIT–”

“wait, what?” peter knew this would be the hard part. 

“just…it’ll make sense in a second okay?” 

hesitantly, you nod.

“when we applied to MIT, we all got rejected, me because, well, everyone thought i killed beck and believed he was the world's.. greatest hero or whatever, and you guys because…because you knew me.”

he knows it’s hard to understand, and the suspicion behind your eyes is a little discouraging.

“baby– i go to MIT.”

“but you didn’t!” his fist collides with the top of the table and you wince. he knows he shouldn’t shout, he knows you don’t know, but after riddling with himself for so long about this exact moment, he couldn’t hold it in anymore. “i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i shouldn’t lash out i just– this has been the hardest thing i’ve ever done.” he swallows, squeezing your hand.

“i asked strange to do a spell, but i messed everything up and everyone had to forget about me so i could make it better. you…you forgot. everything.”

you aren’t sure when you started, but you’re crying. not too hard, just a few tears tracking down your cheeks. peter wipes them away with his thumb.

“you told me you loved me, and i promised i’d find you and i did but it’s been hard, starting all over again.”

it’s your turn to gape at him, and you are surprised, and left a little aghast. peter knows it has to be hard to believe all of this, to take it all in, but he needs you to.

“please believe me,” he pleads, reaching across the table to tangle your fingers, “i–i need you to believe me, starting over has been the hardest thing i’ve ever done, i feel like i’m all alone.” 

the tears swelling in your eyes spill over, and peter seems mortified by how his words must have sounded to you, “i didn’t mean that–”

“pete, it’s okay, i get it,” you don’t really believe yourself, but you’re trying to, “i can’t imagine…losing everyone like that.” it’s a shaky response, but it’s genuine “having to start all over. i’m sorry for making it all harder–”

“hey, hey, no,” his brows pull together and he scoots his chair closer, rubbing your arm, “you didn’t know, and i promised i’d find you. i didn’t know if you’d love me back or if you’d love me again, but you did, that’s all i could have asked for.” peter is crying now too, his dark chocolate eyes rimmed red and a few tears skating down the line of his freckled nose. “i never stopped loving you y/n,” his voice is so earnest and choked that it breaks another sob from your chest, “even when i couldn’t tell you, even on our..our second first date, and that time at the MET, i loved you, and i love you now. i meant it when i said i’d love you in every lifetime.”

there are still a bunch of pieces missing, still a few holes that need to be patched up. but there’s a certain peace in knowing. being reminded one last time that it wasn’t all in your head, you had been there before. with him. always. 

“i love you too, pete.” you say, and then you say it again.

“i love you too.”

tags! @randomlimelightxxx @baby-bearie @averysbestyears @would-you-tell-me-who-you-are @my-fangirling-outlet @hiya-its-amber @theduckgoesquack @coffearabica @hllandvibbes @21burritoseavey @starksview @kayasholland @bxmaaa @ddejavvu @belovedholland @lolalee24 @inthegetawaycarwithtaylah

[worfs-fabulous-hair]

It's been so long , star trek my beloved I'm back.

Another note that I'm making from later on after I started making this post, is that apparently I miss numbered one of my posts a while ago and I'm on episode ahead of where I thought I was so my last post says 01X23-01X24 but should be 01X24-01X25 , sorry I didn't catch that it was the wrong numbers before now.

Series I'm currently on : The original series

Episodes watched: 01X26 - 01X27

Episode names:

The Devil in the Dark

Errand of Mercy

Thoughts:

The devil in the Dark

A bunch of men walking around searching for a monster to dramatic music that almost deafened me because my tablets volume was all the way up and I didn't realize.

They left a singular person alone while they investigate some more I wonder what's going to happen /j

He got eaten all he wanted to do was see the enterprise, also these guys have to go how could this happen even though they left him alone knowing that something was killing everyone

Conveniently walks into a room right as your needed for part of the conversation

I love these neon colored jump suits

These monsters are a mafia bosses wet dream a walking version of a barrel of battery acid that destroys and dissolves absolutely everything it touches.

It fucked up the reactor that controls everything on the planet like life support and this has happened so many times that I question why they have no back up systems on these colonies

Scotty throwing shade at how old the reactor is

" we asked for your help and for you to take us off of this planet but now that you're here we don't want your help. And by we I mean I don't want your help but I'm going to make this decision for thousands of people because of my pride as the person in charge "

I love how Spock went " what if it is this theoretical cryptid being" and Kirk immediately went yes absolutely I am 100% behind you

Oop they just sent a bunch of red shirts in the tunnels to look for the creature you know what that means

Red shirt #1 has died , he also has the most 70s christian youth pastor hair cut I have ever seen

That is not how the monster was described as looking earlier on at all

This creature is made out of corrosive materials that have dissolved people alive and your just gonna bare hand pick up part of it that fell off when you shot it with your phaser not 5 minutes before ?

A crime against science ?

" I'm sorry if it makes you sad Spock but we're gonna have to kill the creature even if it is a crime against science"

More red shirts being sent into the tunnels to split up

Nah you can't tell me this isn't flirting like kirk's pulling that face again the one he only ever does with Spock you know

Spock being forced to squat to fit in the tunnel in his high heel channel uniform boots

Spock was about to go full Vulcan strength when he thought jim was hurt

These ball thing are eggs aren't they? I bet this is the trope of accidentally stealing an egg of a unknown creature and then they hunt you down because they want the egg back

Look at this thing :

Does this look sparkly and glowy like it was described ?

Spock was all for making sure that the creature stayed alive but now that Jim is in danger he's going " kill that bitch , no hesitation just shoot it you have to stay alive"

Jim is like that cat bug meme of " we're friends now we're having soft tacos later"

Spock's gonna mind meld with the creature

It's calls itself the hort

" nonsense Spock, McCoy is a doctor he can heal anything "

No wonder he's always so done with kirk's shit

Oh my God the colonists just murdered the red shirts

They were the hort's eggs and she was killing them because they smashed her eggs and killed her babies

No one is acknowledging that they killed the red shirts

McCoy healed the hort !

What was left of the babies hatched

Mama hort had the hots for Spock

Errand of Mercy

They are mentioning the Klingon , ay !

Now they are being attacked

Sulu is in charge now

" we have no people in charge but we have a council that makes all of the decisions , you may speak with them "

So you do in fact have people in charge

There is no war in ba sing se

Spock and Kirk are now stranded because they made Sulu leave

Also the council members have the ability to see premonitions

Early Klingons look so weird

This particular Klingon ( the one pictures above ) is almost obsessed with Kirk and it's so funny

Cause like all that Kirk has done is be silent and sassy

Spock has been arrested for being Vulcan

Now he is free after they probed his mind

Kirk and Spock are talking mighty loud in front of the Klingons for two people putting together a secret rebellion plan

I like how literally all of the people on this planet are fine with being taken over but Kirk is just sitting there yelling at them going " fight back, come on , care about this man. I know what's good for you and you don't ."

Kirk has been betrayed by the council

The Klingon dude is still obsessed with Kirk

I like how Kirk and Spock's clothes look like their uniforms

The council betrays the Klingon to help Kirk and Spock

Klingon phasers sound like magic tricks in cartoons

" if you don't let me stop violence then I will harm you "

These actors are so dramatic when there only job is to walk around and pretend to pass out or die , they really had to make sure they were gonna get that money huh ?

Klingons really came a long way development wise from this episode

So the council are alot more powerful than they let on and made everything extremely hot and shut off all of the ships and are trying to end the war

Now Kirk and the Klingon general are arguing like kids that got into a fist fight in elementary school

Is this a planet of Qs ?

Now everything is back to normal

[tonystarktogo]

Last part of the time travel crack ‘verse for now (and sorry for making you all worry about the scepter, I didn’t mean it that way, it just seemed like a good cut-off point tbh):

"The scepter! Did anyone keep an eye on the scepter?"

"I assure you," Agent Agent, who looks a little singed and has a bandage wrapped around one ear, yet continues to rock the personality-free drawl that tricks people into thinking he’s not worth paying attention to, speaks up, "that the scepter is still safely in SHIELD custody, Dr. Banner."

Banner scoffs.

Rogers grimaces.

Barton winces.

And oh, all other issues aside, the vindication of this moment is glorious. Tony feels fully justified in the doubtful look he aims at the screen. You know your show sucks balls when even your own operative doesn’t buy what you’re selling.

"That’s great," Banner says in a painfully droll voice. "But I’ll feel a lot better when we hand it over to our resident Asgardian prince for safekeeping rather than put it into a secret high-security facility and hope for the best. Like the one you stored the Tesseract in took Loki what, five minutes to take over?"

Woah, talk about burn. Tony doesn’t bother muffling his snicker. Who’d have thought Banner has it in him?

[continues under the cut]

"Hang on, wouldn’t it be better—" Rogers interrupts before Fury or Coulson can come up with an excuse, which judging by their sour-slash-carefully-blank expressions isn’t as easy as they’d like it to be.

Banner raises one hand. It shouldn’t be a power move on part with his green counterpart squashing a car in his fist, isn’t even particularly aggressive but for some reason Rogers shuts up. Immediately. The bright, eerily green eyes might have something to do with it. 

"If you’re going where I think you’re going, I advise you to reconsider," Banner growls, the vocals deep enough that Romanoff reaches for the nearest weapon. "Even setting my personal issues aside, it’s not worth the risk."

Barton sighs with what sounds less like exhaustion and more like sad resignation. "Hate to say it, Cap, but he’s right. Sending the scepter off-Earth with the Tesseract is probably the safest course of action we can take right now. We can’t count on being that lucky again."

"Agent Barton," Agent Agent’s words drip with such a pointedly polite friendliness, it’s a wonder he doesn’t spear his own tongue on it. "Please desist in trying to hand off objects that pose an immediate threat to global security to an unvetted alien who, while a valued ally, is in line for the throne of a foreign world."

And wow. Tony’s not gonna win a prize for his sensitivity any time soon, but there’s some things you just don’t say to a guy who got brainwashed into doing an alien’s bidding less than forty-eight hours ago. Going by the way Romanoff has gone rigid, she agrees.

Luckily for everyone present, Barton doesn’t bat an eye at the dig. He leans forward instead, elbows placed on his tights, the picture of relaxation. As long as you ignore the expression on his face that could possibly pass for a smile. If you catch sight of it out of the corner of your eye. Through a dirty mirror. 

"Not that I’m not glad to see you alive and well, Phil, because I am. But getting my head rolled once was already one time too many and if the Tesseract is powerful enough to draw fucking aliens to it then it’s too fucking powerful for us to protect." Barton’s voice becomes progressively lower as he continues his little not-having-any-of-your-shit rant. "More people are gonna get killed over that thing. Good people. Because we don’t have the damn resources to keep it safe. So if we gotta bet on Asgard for this, then that’s what we’re gonna fucking do because to be frank with you sir I’d rather lead the hostile aliens to a world ready for interstellar warfare than my own."

Thor straightens from where he’s been fixated on Loki for the past hour or so, trying to crawl into his brother’s skull through willpower alone by the looks of it, and dips his head in Barton’s direction. "Thank you for your faith," he says gravely, as though Barton hasn’t straight up told everyone in this room he wants to use Asgard as a shield-slash-sacrificial-offering. "I hope my people will prove worthy of it."

"Should be fine." Banner shrugs with a nonchalance Tony envies. "’s long as we take care of your murderous sibling first."

Thor winces. Loki’s face loses whatever expressiveness it had left and it already was at state zero: emotions not welcome here to begin with. 

But. Tony tilts his head. Why not just call Loki by his name? Unless, of course, Banner isn’t referring to him. But how would the infamous Hulk-slash-brilliant-scientist have gotten himself wrapped up in alien family drama? And is there a form Tony can sign? Because he hates being kept out of the loop.

"Avengers!" Fury snaps before things can get any more awkward. Which, good for him, but in Tony’s fine opinion he should have taken the win and be done with it. There’s just no winning against whatever type of madness — not to mention feelings — these people are so inconsiderately spreading inside his walls. "You’re not bartering off our best chance to defend ourselves against alien invaders, have I made myself clear? That’s an order."

Rogers scoffs at the screen and damn it, Tony’s determined not to like the guy but the way he just smirks humorlessly as he stares Fury down, all aww shucks did you want the pretty, glowy thing too and well too damn bad for you makes it hard. Especially when Rogers goes that little extra mile and asks with a plain as day air of who fucking cares: "Whatever gave you the impression that this is a negotiation, Director Fury?"

It’s just too great a line to resist and Tony is only human. He makes a sharp gesture with his hand and JARVIS disconnects the call before they witness Fury pop a blood vessel. Let that be Agent’s problem for the time being.

"So," Tony states after a moment. "Besides all but declaring war on SHIELD, the organization two people in this room are officially employed by, for the record, and dealing with Reindeer Games over there, what’s the plan?"

Nervous shuffling. Awkward grins. Badly-hidden glances going back and forth. 

Perhaps most notably, nobody protests the declaring-war-on-SHIELD part. Tony would ask but frankly he’s still on his first glass of scotch — meaning way too fucking sober for whatever madness the answer to that question will undoubtedly raise. It’s a sad, sad day in the history of mankind when Tony is the voice of reason in a room filled with one-person-armies.

"What about Shawarma?" Rogers, apparently the most uncomfortable with the pressing silence, blurts out.

Tony gives that pitiful attempt to change the subject the nice try, have to admit I didn’t see that coming but you’re gonna have to give me more than that look it deserves. As it turns out though, he may have been overestimating his present company’s average ability to read a room.

"I could go for a bite," Barton pipes up, earning himself a soul-shriveling, dead-eyed, where the fuck did I go wrong with you and how have I not killed you yet stare, courtesy of Romanoff that he brushes off with admirable ease. Still not moving an inch away from her either and if Tony’s noticed the way her hand’s been edging ever closer to the knife strapped to her calf, there’s no way Barton hasn’t.

"Sounds good," Banner chimes in with a twisted amusement that makes Tony want to scratch his eyes out. "I know just to the place."

*

They do eat Shawarma together. [All of them, even Loki, because Thor insists his brother is far too thin. Considering Barton doesn’t protest and the only person Loki tries to stab with his salad fork is Thor himself, nobody comments on it.]

As if to add insult to a very long list of injuries that Tony is dying to poke and prod at, the food tastes delicious.

*

Okay so the whole antagonizing SHIELD thing wasn’t planned, but I figured in this AU there was no drawn out battle and no bomb and so there was no ‘thank fuck we’re even alive right now’ relief to take the edge of. Instead everyone is pissed off and frustrated (if for very different reasons) and not outright attacking the helicarrier right now is about all the diplomacy Steve has the patience for at this point.

[xmyshya]

Congratulations p.2

summary: His assumptions hurt you both. Is there still a chance for you? genre: angst, fluff (happy ending) warnings: car accident, poor writing betas: @miki-snake​ special thanks: Miki for giving me ideas on how to continue. This wouldn’t be finished without you! a/n: Part 2 to my first ever fic. Click here for part 1. wc: 2.4k

It was driving him insane. She was driving him insane. YOU were driving him insane. But it wasn’t your fault, no. He put himself into it, and he knew it. That’s what made it even more unbearable. But he already made a promise, he couldn’t back down. So now he was sitting during his lunch break with a girl he exchanged you for. Just because he didn’t want to assume things, but also because he DID assume things.

For the first time in his life, his own observational skills failed him. This is exactly why he didn’t trust his little voice telling him you were not okay. He hoped that glint disappearing from your eyes was just his imagination, because you were still smiling so beautifully. That your voice wasn’t cracking every time you spoke, as if you needed a second to adjust and calm yourself. How could he make things right again, how could he…

“Are you listening to me?” Ah, right, he wasn’t alone. “You haven’t even touched your food, want me to feed you? Open wide and say aaaah.”

“Sorry, I’m just not hungry.” He answered after staring blankly at her.

“Hmm? Okay, so like I said....”

He rubbed the top of his nose. Her neverending blabbering almost melted with the background noise. It’s not like he hated her, didn’t even dislike. She was just a part of the crowd, one of many that never understood his jokes, never showed interest in his passions (and also didn’t have any he could get interested in), always looking for acknowledgement of everyone around. So unlike you. You, you, YOU.

-----------------------------

You spent most of the lunch breaks outside lately. Somehow the sight of that girl sitting at the same table as Kuroo, looking at him with her glowy eyes and glued smile was unbearable. Ever since that evening being in the same room as them felt suffocating. You didn’t know why. Actually, you did but still tried to push it in the darkest part of your mind. You can’t think that way, not anymore.

You sighed and packed your half-eaten lunch, making your way towards the classroom. Seeing her figure in the hall already caused your body to relax a little. You couldn’t help but think that she was everything you were not. Tiny, cute, with shiny hair, dark eyes, always wearing some kind of make-up, popular. FEMININE. A perfect girl for Kuroo, as you tried to tell yourself for the past few weeks.

-----------------------------

This longing was unfamiliar, but he had a feeling it would be a frequent guest in his chest. He hasn’t noticed how he was staring at the door until you appeared in it. When your eyes met and you smiled at him… he could swear his heart clenched. This was too much, more than he could handle. And judging by your sparkless eyes, you weren’t feeling any better.

-----------------------------

You didn’t expect Kuroo to look in your direction. What you expected even less was that you looked at him. At his eyes, to be exact. His beautiful eyes that remained golden, even though the whole world around you was reduced to monochrome. This realisation made you smile uncontrollably, despite having another creep in… that they weren’t supposed to be looking at you.

-----------------------------

By the time he packed his stuff and looked at your desk, you were already gone. Instead, another female was standing beside him, happily chirping about going home together.

“Sorry, I can’t do this.” He found himself mumbling, not entirely aware he did out loud.

“What did you just say?”

She didn’t seem sad or hurt, no. She seemed annoyed. Mad. As if her little plan was just ruined.

“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend anymore. Sorry.” He repeated, this time louder, more firmly.

He watched her storm out of the classroom until Yaku patted him on his shoulder.

“Congrats on growing some balls, Rooster”.

-----------------------------

You kind of felt proud at how you mastered sneaking out of the classroom lately. If you did that quietly enough, no one would notice, and no one would accompany you. It was only you and a colourless city, bathed in a colourless sunshine, filled with muffled sounds.

That’s why you didn’t even notice reaching an intersection until you were on it. Or more precisely, until you heard someone shouting your name. You turned to check who this voice belonged to, but stopped halfway locking your eyes with a car, muscles tensing as if preparing for the impact.

-----------------------------

Kuroo ran out of the school premises and saw you from a distance. You were far, but with his long legs and athletic ability, it shouldn’t be too hard to catch up with you. He was getting considerably closer, and felt relieved when lights signaled stopping… BUT YOU DIDN’T.

He didn’t remember ever running that fast, in his whole life, but it was still not enough, there was no way he would reach you in time. Just like there was no chance of the vehicle halting, despite brakes pushed to the floor. If only he left earlier, if only he ran faster, if only he… he could have saved you.

-----------------------------

The only thing you saw after opening your eyes was his face. His ebony black hair stuck to his forehead. His eyes darkened to caramel shade and filled with tears. His sleeve trying to absorb some of it as he rubbed it against his nose. You wanted to wipe them away with your hand, but you couldn’t move it. You could only stare.

Next time you opened your eyes he was gone. You must have made a sound, because right after opening your mouth Kuroo reappeared in your sight. He was saying something to you, but you couldn’t hear. The ringing in your ears was successfully blocking everything else. You saw him reaching his hand out and brushing hair out of your face, and then it all turned black.

-----------------------------

-----------------------------

Everything hurts. There’s a steady beeping noise somewhere near your head. Or at least you think it’s near your head. You’re trying to open your eyes, but the sharp light burns into your irises. Your tongue feels like sandpaper in your mouth, and the first try to say something ends in a coughing fit.

Someone squeezes your hand, but you’re too blinded by the lights to see who it is. A moment later a straw is gently pushed in between your lips, and you suck on it. Water never tasted that good. You only manage to whisper a weak “thank you” before falling back to sleep.

-----------------------------

Suspended between dreams and reality, you hear voices. Voices that can’t be louder than whispers, and they’re not aimed at you, but sound as if they’re calling you nonetheless. This time there’s no sharp light threatening to burn your eyeballs, and instead, you’re greeted with a dimmed sunlight. Must be an evening or at least late afternoon then. You turn your head in the other direction, and whispers suddenly stop. Owners of the voices look at you timidly and then at each other with anger.

“You woke her up, you moron!” One of them whisper-shouted.

“Me?! Are you fucking kidding me?! I wasn’t the only one blabbing!” Hissed the other. He was also the first one to approach you and take your hand into his. “H-how are you… feeling?”

“Uhh… dizzy? Confused… and tired.” You mumbled, painkillers still dulling you a little.

“Why… why’s he here?” You whisper to your brother sitting right next to you, pointing at Kuroo with just your eyes.

“Oh, don’t think about it now, you need to rest. But just know that he was here every day, and he was the one who saved you, pretty much.” His hand now stroking your hair. “You can relax now, it’s all gonna be okay.”

-----------------------------

It feels good to be back in your room, and to have Kuroo beside you. Even if all he did was tutor you about the things you missed. Luckily most of the damage was caused by shock, and not actual impact, so you were released quickly. Still, you were advised to stay home for some more time, and that’s exactly what you were doing.

And if that was the reason why you were currently alone in your room with your neighbour… no reason to complain. You still haven’t asked him about what happened then, you couldn’t find the courage to. Not when he has so much worry in his eyes, and not when he is getting uneasy every time you give as much as a grimace.

“You know, you don’t have to treat me like I’m made of glass.” He freezes. There’s a shadow creeping on his face. “I won’t shatter, I promise”.

He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

-----------------------------

Your brother was hesitant about your request to go back to school. Most of the accident consequences were gone now, and Kuroo also managed to catch up with his tutoring. There was absolutely no reason not to. He glances at you the whole way from the gate of your house, you pretend you don’t notice. It goes well for most of the day, you’re able to focus, only suffering from a mild headache sometime before the last period. Until you hear THAT, at least.

“It’s all your fault, you bitch!”

You look up and squint. Oh, it’s her. Right when you managed to forget she existed.

“Could you please leave me alone?”

Headache now worsening due to a slight rise of stress in your system.

“Everything was perfectly fine! Until you jumped in front of that car, and snapped him from me!”

You want to ask her about it, but she’s already gone. Maybe you should have listened to your brother. You also don’t see her interact with Kuroo ever again, except for glowering, but you don’t mention it.

-----------------------------

He wanted to talk to you. He really did. But every time he was about to call your name, it got stuck in his throat. After all he had put you through, was he worthy of saying it? Of being close to you? It was all his fault. If only he had paid more attention, he would have known you would reject Bokuto.

If he had been more courageous, he wouldn’t have distanced himself after the festival. If he had run faster, he would have caught you in time. No, he wasn’t worthy. He promised himself he would watch over you from the sidelines, making sure you were always safe, but never putting you at risk of hurting you again.

-----------------------------

You tried to reach out to him. You really did. But every time you tried to approach him, he walked away to talk to one of the friends he spotted. Every time you looked at him, he averted his eyes from you. He came up with last minute excuses, when Bokuto asked both of you to hang out. He did respond to your texts, but his replies were short, emotionless, forced.

So, after some time, you stopped trying. Only sending him a weak, polite smile, as you passed him in the halls, in the streets, on the stairs of your house when he visited your brother. Each one of those smiles feeling like a knife pushed deeper and deeper into your heart.

-----------------------------

He was relieved, grateful almost, when you stopped chasing after him. Each time he heard your voice, felt your presence, heard someone mention you… was piercing his heart like a million needles. Each text from you brought tears to his eyes, and darkness to his chest. So when it all stopped, he hoped he would find some peace. Yet somehow, each one of your dutiful smiles pained him even more.

-----------------------------

Days were much brighter and warmer. Not really surprising, it was the end of May after all. You were being pulled by your brother through the streets of the very lively city, towards the place where the crowd concentrated. He had insisted you wore a yukata, as a way to bid farewell to your teenage years, and welcome supposedly adult university life. He was telling you to hurry, that you’d be late, but these geta shoes definitely weren’t comfortable. Luckily, it wasn’t very far from your home.

You noticed Bokuto from afar, his huge stature towering over the crowd and salt-and-pepper-like hair making it hard not to. As you approached him, he pulled you in a tight hug, his whisper “glad you made it” drowned out by the noise. You glanced over his shoulder, noticing the boy he brought with him. Judging by his expression he was forced to come too and had no idea you’d be here.

“Ah! Taiyaki!” You exclaimed as your face lit up.

It was one of your favourite festival foods. Kuroo tried to grab you before you ran, but he was too late. Again. And again his mind was invaded with a whirlwind of thoughts. You could be swept away by the crowd. You could hurt your feet. You could faint. You could be approached by some suspicious people. Or you could be back safely, a wide smile adorning your features, as you bit into the fish’ head.

Late in the evening, your feet started to remind you how much you had walked in the past few hours. Trying to find a spot to sit and rest, you didn’t even notice that you separated from the group. Not until you turned around to say something to your brother, but you only saw Kuroo settling next to you.

“Where’s everybody?”

“Huh? Right behind…” His eyes opened wide with shock.

There was nobody behind him. It was just you and him, for the first time in a long while. You used to feel comfortable around him, comfortable enough to just sit in silence, shoulder to shoulder. But now it was deafening, making your mind spiraling, lungs short of breath. You desperately needed to say something, anything… and then the first round of fireworks shot.

“Did you know that fireworks are red thanks to strontium salts?”

His heart skipped a beat when he looked at you. At your relaxed face, astonished eyes, gentlest of smiles. Of course he knew, but hearing it from you made it magical. Your voice made it magical.

“And they’re green because of barium compounds, blue due to copper and…”

He reached out and tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear. You were so beautiful when you turned your head to look directly at him, cheek sliding into his palm, colours dancing on your skin. Tetsurou couldn't help himself. Not when his heart was overflowing with so much love he had tried to suppress for so long. So when he leant in and kissed you, none of you knew if the fireworks were shooting in the sky or in your hearts.

“Congratulations!” Bokuto and your brother shouted, as your lips parted.

[violetwolfraven]

Ray Molina: Best Dad Ever

For the March 11th explosion of content thing. Just Violet being a fantom and doing my part for this!

Tw: mentioned death, mentioned abusive parents, mentioned panic attack.

So the boys can be seen and heard when directly touching Julie after the whole post-Orpheum glowy hug thing but Ray doesn’t know that just yet.

What he does know is that Julie’s mental health took a rapid turn for the better for seemingly no reason and then a couple weeks later he found out she joined a band without telling him.

He’s not stupid. He knows that’s probably because of the band, though he is a bit confused as to how she even met them.

He kinda figures it’s a kids and your internet tricks thing but there’s some flaws to this theory.

1) He asks Flynn what she knows about the boys only... it seems like she doesn’t know much of anything. That’s weird because he knows Julie tells her practically everything.

2) The boys have American accents despite Julie claiming they’re from Sweden.

3) Carlos is a terrible liar and on the rare occasion Julie actually talks about the boys he gets this weirdly conspiratorial look.

So anyway Ray doesn’t really believe it’s as simple as ‘I met these 3 Swedish boys on the internet’ but he trusts his daughter’s judgement and he leaves it alone.

Anyway he has other things to focus on.

Such as how Ray has literally never been able to keep track of his keys/phone/hats/camera parts/stuff and now it seems to just pop up whenever he’s looking for it.

Also he keeps feeling like there’s someone with him around the house more and more.

Like not a malicious presence like Victoria fears, and definitely not like Rose is around watching him, but like someone is there.

Sometimes it feels like there’s more than one presence around. None of them familiar but all of them friendly.

Oddly enough, whatever or whoever it is feels almost like Julie or Carlos. Young and excitable and like a verse of a happy song. He’s not sure why they’re around, but they definitely don’t feel dangerous, so Ray doesn’t feel threatened.

But some days a better comparison might be to Trevor back when Rose first introduced him. Raw and fragile and very, very sad.

Ray tries to put on happy music or a Disney cartoon or something on those days and he doesn’t quite know why or how but the energy usually gets more positive when he does that.

Anyway after a while of this (after the Orpheum performance) he starts noticing weird things that Carlos and Julie do now.

Carlos will just carry around a small whiteboard and a couple pens and he erases it whenever Ray comes into the room but before he does it almost looks like there’s two, three, or even four sets of handwriting on there.

And he walks in on Julie talking to herself like. All the time.

Carlos doesn’t ask for help on his math homework anymore. Julie makes this insanely good chicken recipe for dinner once and then clearly panics and lies when asked where she got it. Flynn makes a set of rainbow friendship bracelets one day while she’s hanging out at the Molina house but he doesn’t see Julie wearing the match to the one she keeps.

Plus Carrie starts hanging out at their house again?? Out of the blue?? And none of the girls have a good explanation for how they made up??

Then later Nick Danforth-Evans (who Julie used to talk about having a crush on but hasn’t in a while) starts hanging around too and the kid seems... well, Ray doesn’t want to throw the word ‘traumatized’ around, but he’s jumpy and guarded in a way that can only be described as a little bit traumatized.

So all 5 kids are clearly keeping some secret and Ray’s getting suspicious and worried.

He sits them down and asks what’s going on. Like is one of them having problems at home, or..?

The kids, simultaneously:

Julie: no, we’re just all in a play together!

Carlos: we’re fine we’re just ghost hunting!

Flynn: we’re exhibiting bisexual-pansexual-lesbian solidarity!

Carrie: Julie and the Phantoms and Dirty Candi are doing a collaboration album!

Nick: we all joined jazz band??

Ray’s calling bullshit at this point.

Then Julie and Nick both look up directly at the same spot, somewhere a couple feet above the arm of the couch, which is seemingly just empty air.

Whatever it is, it doesn’t seem like the other kids can see it but they all seem to be waiting for something and Ray is wondering if they’re sharing a hallucination??? Are they all on drugs??? Should he be worried???

Then Julie says to meet them in the studio in 30 minutes. Flynn, Carrie, and Nick go home to give the Molina family some alone time.

*cue music performance where Ray is introduced to the boys*

So anyway Julie and Carlos (with the help of the ghosts whenever one of them has something to say and grabs Julie’s hand) give him a clearly-sugarcoated version of the last few months.

Ghosts of Trevor’s dead bandmates help Julie reconnect with music, they form a band, they meet another ghost, other ghost accidentally gets them involved with evil magician ghost, Nick got possessed, Carrie figured it out and helped plot to get him un-possessed, evil magician ghost is still out there and they’re sticking together so he can’t get any of them in the future.

Despite how they say it like it’s no big deal, Ray now understands why the kids have been acting so weird because all these things sound scary and painful.

Also the more he thinks about it, the more he worries about the fact that he has three 17-year-old boys sleeping in his garage who died terribly of food poisoning.

They are children and they died incredibly painfully and then almost got enslaved and/or erased from existence.

Then one day Ray’s feeling one of those presences around the house again and he realizes it’s probably one of Julie’s ghost boys.

Ray: who’s there?

Whoever it is freaks out and leaves, and Ray takes notes for next time.

The next time he feels someone in the room, he has a notepad ready and he writes down “Luke, Alex, or Reggie?” from what he remembers from Julie’s introductions.

Immediately, there’s a spike of anxiety in the room.

Ray: it’s okay. You can stay and we don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. I’d like to know who it is I’m not talking to though.

There’s a few seconds of hesitation, and then the pen picks itself up and the name “Reggie” gets circled.

Ray: the bassist with the flannels, right?

Yeah, written in a teenage boy’s messy scrawl.

Ray: okay, do you want to watch a movie?

More hesitation, and Ray’s not sure what that’s about but he’s starting to suspect with the amount of fear still in the room, and there’s a good 20 seconds where Reggie doesn’t respond before I don’t know.

Ray: Moana or Tangled? Moana.

After that, he takes a page out of Carlos’s book and gets a small whiteboard with 3 pens that stick to it magnetically. Red for Reggie, blue for Luke, and pink for Alex.

Reggie has written conversations with him most, but Luke does sometimes too and Alex does least often but he’ll still request a movie occasionally.

All of them are wary around him and Ray doesn’t quite know what to do to earn their trust. But he asks questions about their preferences on things. He says they did good on their latest show. He remembers which movies are their favorites and introduces them to music he thinks are their styles.

Luke is a big fan of Fall Out Boy and Reggie fucking loves Taylor Swift.

Alex is less consistent but occasionally Ray will play a song and he’ll write something like This is a cool song.

He starts to be able to tell which energy is which even before they write who it is right around the time the boys start to be visible for longer and longer after playing.

They play a really good show and stay visible for like 2 full days and that’s the first (but not the last) time Ray really gets to get to know them.

He starts noticing after really good shows like that one how even more now that they can be seen, they’re all a little... off from how Nick and Carrie and Flynn act around him.

With Luke it’s mostly because he’s trying so hard to impress because *gasp* he and Julie are a thing but there’s still a little bit of tension that seems like it comes from something deeper than just being nervous around his girlfriend’s dad.

With Reggie it’s subtle caution. Like he’s happy to be hanging out with Ray but he’s constantly ready for something to go wrong. There’s a catch in his smile, a hesitation before he states an opinion, a practiced carefulness where he changes the subject at any sign of even mild frustration.

But with Alex... it’s mostly just avoidance. Like if he poofs in while visible and it just so happens that no one else is there, he’ll find an excuse to leave.

And Ray lets him, of course. He doesn’t want the kid to feel trapped. But all of the boys’ behavior bothers him.

On the rare occasion they spend more than 2 seconds together Alex is really quiet. He won’t admit if Ray guessed wrong about a song and he doesn’t like it even though his body language makes it clear he’s not vibing with it. Actually, his body language pretty much just spells I am very uncomfortable in every situation where Julie or Carlos went to the bathroom or someone went to grab a snack and they’re alone even for 5 minutes while he’s visible.

Ray’s not stupid. He knows three 17-year-olds don’t end up getting their instruments left to their only living bandmate’s new best friend’s family by having good relationships with their own families.

He doesn’t exactly want to bring it up, but he kind of knows.

Then one day he’s sitting with all 3 boys watching a movie while he fixes something on his camera and Julie and Carlos are at school and he messes up a little part that means he has to start over (don’t @ me I know nothing about cameras) and swears out of frustration louder than he meant to.

He reaches for the screwdriver on the coffee table and

And Reggie and Alex both flinch.

Ray hadn’t even noticed they were tracking his movements, but while Luke seems to just have moved his focus from the TV to his friends in concern, Alex and Reggie both look too tense to play it off.

He figures its as good a time as any to have a chat cause these boys aren’t his sons but they don’t have anyone else acting as a parent figure to them and he feels the need to take care of them. He pauses the movie.

Ray: Can we have a talk? About you boy’s families?

Naturally Luke jumps in to try to distract him immediately, telling a story about his dad taking him fishing once, but he stops when Ray asks him to stop.

Ray: That’s not what I’m talking about and I think you all know it.

The boys are all still silent. Luke looks 500% ready to deflect again. Reggie and Alex look more like they’re expecting to get yelled at or worse.

Ray: I just want to help. I’ll drop it if you want me to but I want you to know that I would never do something to hurt any of you intentionally. You can talk to me about anything if you need to.

He means to make it an option of ‘you can talk but you don’t have to if you don’t want to,’ but the boys clearly don’t take it as such with how Luke starts talking immediately.

Luke: I ran away when I was 17. My mom and dad didn’t want me to stay in Sunset Curve, I think they thought it was going to get me into drugs or something.

They have a short talk about parents having good intentions not equalling them being right to push Luke so hard they pushed him away and it’s okay to feel hurt by that and then press play on the movie again and Ray thinks he sees all 3 boys relax somewhat during that.

A couple weeks later Reggie comes in visible and hesitantly asks about watching this series he saw when Carlos was scrolling through Netflix once.

Mid-episode he blurts out

Reggie: I don’t want to look for my parents and I feel weird about that.

He rambles for a while about knowing he was lucky that his family had money and his mom and dad told him they loved him and stuff but also he remembers so many fights between them where he felt caught in the middle and it never ended well if he chose a side but there was no way to win because they’d both turn on him if he didn’t so it was just this constant balancing act to try to prevent fights in the first place.

Reggie: I felt like I was walking on a tightrope. Like, all the time. I tried so hard to keep them from getting mad at each other or at me. Only it never worked and it was always a question of when they were going to snap next and it was confusing cause one day we’d go to the zoo and everything would be fine and the next they’d yell at me and send me to bed without food.

He feels guilty for not wanting to put in the effort to find them because he’s pretty sure on some level they did love him but he doesn’t want to see them again.

And he doesn’t want to know if they even miss him at all because when he got older and the fighting got too intense he would sneak off to Luke’s or Bobby’s and no matter if he stayed away for an hour or a couple days they never seemed to notice he was gone.

Ray listens and a lot of things about Reggie start to make sense. How he’s so careful not to catch him in a bad mood. How he shuts down whenever anyone raises their voice. How he helps out so much in an effort to stay on Ray’s good side.

It’s a day and a half after the latest show so they can’t really hug but Ray does what he can to provide comfort and validate his feelings anyway because damn Reggie is a good kid and he didn’t deserve that.

Reggie and Luke get more comfortable with coming to him for meaningful chats, or even just to vent about whatever’s going on lately.

Eventually they seem to feel almost as comfortable with him as Julie and Carlos do so it kinda becomes a routine.

Like Julie will ask for cuddles when she’s sad about missing Rose or she’ll walk in and vent about Carrie and Flynn being so obvious about liking each other but somehow not realizing it’s mutual and she and Nick are 3rd wheeling and going insane.

Carlos will excitedly ramble about his latest baseball practice shenanigans for an hour but also sometimes ask for someone to watch old home movies or listen to old CDs from Rose and the Petal Pushers with him.

And that’s normal. That’s been Ray’s life since his kids started talking. But the thing is that it’s just as normal when

When Luke tells how he’s still angry about his music getting stolen because it feels like a part of him was taken away and he worked hard on those songs. Also one day he very shyly admits

Luke: I like Julie a lot.

Ray: I know, kiddo.

Luke: You’re not mad?

Ray: As long as you two make each other happy, no. I’m happy for you.

And it’s just as normal when Reggie talks about missing his little cousin Kelsi and wondering where she ended up only for them to look her up and find out she’s a major Broadway writer/director now oh my god— and also

Reggie: I think I like boys. Like boys are cute. But I know I’m not gay because girls are cute too and ugh it’s confusing it’s probably nothing I guess everybody goes through this.

Ray: Have you ever thought you might be bisexual?

Reggie: Bi-what-now?

Ray, already digging out his old flannels that he would have passed down to Julie except they’re too big for her: It’s okay to like both, kiddo.

All this is great of course. It’s great how Reggie and Luke aren’t afraid anymore and they feel validated and seen and listened to.

But months have passed and Ray notices how Alex remains separate. He still avoids Ray when he can and stays quiet and cautious when he can’t.

Like Ray still senses Alex around him sometimes but never right after a show when he’s visible. He doesn’t come to him with problems. He’ll stay and listen when Ray plays a song he thinks he’d like, but he still seems so cautious and Ray doesn’t know how to help.

He asks Luke one day while he’s introducing him to a Wicked bootleg if he’s done something specific to scare Alex away.

Luke gets this really dark look on his face and he just

Luke: Let’s just say that my parents didn’t do everything perfectly, but they’re saints compared to Alex’s.

Ray decides to drop it, but Luke wants to reassure him.

Luke: You haven’t done anything wrong. He’s just not very comfortable around most adults in general. It’s one thing when we’re invisible, but...

Ray: I just wish I could help.

Luke: You do help. But it took a while for Alex to trust me.

The conversation ends there because Luke starts getting really into Defying Gravity.

But then that night Julie comes in with a kind of out of character movie request so Ray thinks Luke talked to her.

Because Julie does not like most romcoms that aren’t musicals. She gets bored. But she requests Love, Simon anyway.

Ray kind of sees what she’s trying to do there because now that he’s thinking about it the boys haven’t really seen many things with queer rep. Especially not queer main characters.

And nobody’s really told him that Alex is gay but cmon he’s an elder bi. He has accurate gaydar so he can support his queer ducklings.

Despite how the boys all know being gay is more socially acceptable now (they found out about Nick’s dads and the girls gave them the ‘gay marriage is legal now’ talk) they still seem kind of baffled by how there’s an entire romcom centered around a gay boy and it did well.

From there Ray tries to find more movies and tv shows with canon queer representation.

And he keeps giving Alex space but also trying his best to show him that he’s not like his parents.

For a long time nothing changes beyond Luke and Reggie getting increasingly comfortable with him.

Well that’s not completely true actually cause Reggie starts tagging along to photo shoots and becomes Ray’s unofficial mostly invisible assistant.

Then the band plays an amazing show and the boys stay visible for a full week.

Around the middle of that week, Ray goes out to the garage to find Reggie and see if he wants to come on a photo shoot.

Reggie isn’t out there but Alex is.

And he’s crying. Hard.

He looks like he’s going to poof out when he sees Ray there but Ray’s already 100% ready to do exactly what he always does when he walks in on Julie or Carlos crying.

Ray: Alex. Hey, buddy, it’s okay. I’m here. It’s going to be okay.

Alex freezes and it breaks Ray’s heart how that kind of concern is clearly not what he’s expecting.

Ray: Are you okay with being touched?

Alex looks kind of like he’s in shock but he nods.

He clearly doesn’t really know what to do with it but he kind of melts into it when Ray hugs him and he just sobs on his shoulder.

When he’s stopped crying enough he starts rambling about how he’s been looking everywhere but he can’t find Willie.

At that point he’s basically having a panic attack so finding out what’s wrong takes a backseat compared to calming him down and Ray knows how to do that because he and Rose used to do that for Trevor all the time.

Ray: Alex, breathe. In for 4 counts, hold for 7, out for 8. Breathe with me.

It takes a couple minutes until Alex has calmed down enough, but once he does, Ray asks what’s wrong and what’s happening with Willie.

He only vaguely knows who Willie is from what he’s been told by the other kids but he knows he’s important to Alex.

So Alex takes a deep breath and explains that Caleb confronted him and basically said the boys had to join his house band or he would make sure he’d never see Willie again. And he doesn’t want to ask his family to sacrifice themselves for him but he doesn’t want to lose the boy he loves either.

Ray wants to throw hands but from what the kids have told him about Caleb, he has a better idea.

Ray: Here’s what we’re gonna do, buddy. Reggie said Caleb has this super catchy number, The Other Side of Hollywood?

Alex: Yeah?

Ray: How quickly do you think Luke and Julie could come up with an arrangement for you four to cover that and how desperate do you think Covington would be to make sure a video of that never gets published without crediting him?

Alex: :o

Spoiler alert: Julie and Luke, in collaboration with Carrie, can come up with an arrangement very quickly.

They do a private performance of it and film it and basically blackmail Caleb into letting Willie go.

Willie has an empty house that used to be his parents’ that he still considers his so he mostly crashes there if he needs to. Also he loves skating around so much that he never stays in one place for very long.

Julie can see him but she can’t make him visible so it’s a little odd but Ray gets an orange pen for him for the whiteboard and he finds skateboarding videos and stuff for when he visits.

They eventually figure out that he can be part of the magic by adding him to the band so they give him a tambourine and yay now Willie can be seen but that’s later.

The biggest immediate change to come out of all this is Alex.

He’s not afraid of Ray anymore for the most part (healing isn’t linear and he can’t help a few bad days) and he starts actually talking to him. Not about serious stuff but he’s talking. Mostly just rambling about how Willie makes him feel or how Luke and Reggie have been being annoying lately.

Then one day he comes in really nervous and says something about Reggie saying he talked to Ray about his parents.

And Ray confirms it and asks if there’s anything Alex needs to tell him.

Alex sits down and clearly he’s been holding this in for a long time and he just unloads how he came out to his parents because his youngest sister found his diary and he was scared she’d tell them. They didn’t react well and when he cried out of fear and frustration his father... gave him something to cry about.

His father did that a few more times, trying to ‘make him man up,’ and Alex never told his bandmates but he always knew they could see the bruises and that was why Bobby made it so clear his garage was open and his house was a safe place to run.

But Alex didn’t no matter how bad things got because he guessed some small part of him thought he deserved it but mostly it was about how his oldest sister dropped out of college and ghosted the family and Alex was the next-oldest so he felt responsible for protecting his younger sisters even if they both had learned behaviors from their parents and hated him.

Then that summer he found out his parents were planning on sending him away to some Christian camp where they’d ‘fix’ him.

Alex made it clear that he wouldn’t go and if they tried to make him he’d run away, but their ultimatum was that he couldn’t live under their roof if he was gay.

So he didn’t. And it was a situation somewhere between getting kicked out and running away, but he packed a bag and never went back.

He ran to Bobby’s house, he wrote a whole bunch of angry songs, and he tried not to think too much about how he understood why his older sister left and how he was doing the exact same thing to his younger sisters.

By the time he’s done explaining everything Ray’s trying not to cry but Alex is definitely already crying mostly out of anger.

Alex: I hated them all. I hated Molly for leaving me and I hated my mom for turning my little sisters against me and I hated my dad for hurting me and I even hated Anna and Josie for not standing by me and I just hated them all so much. I still do. And it is so stupid that I feel guilty for that because they were terrible to me and I was 16 and I didn’t deserve that but I do feel guilty for it because they’re my family and I hate them.

Ray doesn’t have much to say because damn this is heavy stuff but he assures him that after what he went through he has a right to hate his blood family.

Alex tells him awkwardly when he’s calmed down a bit that Luke is the only other person he’s ever told about all this, because after he ran away they dated for a few months before figuring out that they were better as friends.

Reggie and Bobby guessed parts of it and Julie probably has too but none of them have asked and Alex thinks he might tell Reggie and Julie someday if it ever comes up but he never did end up telling Bobby.

Ray assures him that he won’t tell anyone and also that he would never do that. He would never do anything to hurt Alex or the others on purpose.

He makes a silent promise that no one will ever hurt one of his kids like that again and if Caleb or anyone else ever tries, they will regret it.

But anyway on to happier matters.

Willie visits a lot and he’s a little skittish around Ray but he loosens up after he jokingly mentions one time that Willie and Alex are like the beginning of the Sk8ter Boy song.

Alex and Ray might be Denim Jacket Buddies but once Ray digs his old leather jacket out of the closet he becomes Leather Jacket Buddies with Reggie.

You’d think he has to tell Carlos and Reggie off the most for breaking things but he doesn’t. It’s Carlos and Luke.

Also Ray doesn’t consider himself an overprotective dad but Julie and Luke are not allowed to be alone in a room with the door closed.

Neither are Alex and Willie technically but it’s harder to enforce it when they’re both ghosts.

Lmao all the kids follow the rules anyway because they love Ray and he’s not being unreasonable.

He helps Julie in her plot to get Carrie and Flynn together and also he helps Nick plan how to make a move on that cute boy on his lacrosse team.

Because Nick loves his dads but they’re disaster gays. Neither of those men can properly flirt. They fell in love because of a baseball rivalry and Nick doesn’t trust their advice.

Pride month rolls around and Julie makes sure to book a big gig the day before the parade so the boys will be visible and tangible.

Trevor’s on tour and can’t get away and Flynn’s parents are working and Nick’s are busy too so Ray finds himself escorting this whole little gaggle of various queer ducklings to pride.

Carlos isn’t quite sure what he is yet so he’s just got a rainbow flag painted on his cheek and a shirt that says I love my bi sister on it.

Julie’s all decked out in the bi colors, complete with ribbons braided into her hair and a flag to use as a cape. She made the tutu herself and it took her hours but it turned out really good.

Luke’s got a tank top with the pan colors and a trans flag as a cape and also yknow face paint of course.

Reggie browsed thrift shops everywhere until he found a flannel in the bi colors and he’s got that along with pink purple and blue laces in his combat boots and what Ray is really hoping is temporary dye and not spray paint in his hair.

Alex has a rainbow shirt that matches Willie’s and matching bracelets with Flynn. Also he painted rainbow hearts on his cheeks and put a lot of effort into them and they look really symmetrical.

Willie’s of course matching shirts with Alex and also he has sparkly rainbow socks and a flag to use as a cape.

Carrie’s got a whole ensemble in the lesbian colors complete with a pride wig and also matching necklaces with Flynn.

Flynn’s matching colors with Carrie but more in her style with of course matching jewelry with the people closest to her. She’s got friendship bracelets corresponding to Alex and Julie.

Nick’s got a pan tshirt and a fedora with a ribbon in pink yellow and blue plus face paint cause all of them have face paint. Nothing too crazy.

Meanwhile Ray’s got a bi bandanna and one of those shirts that’s like Free Dad Hugs.

Plus everyone did each other’s nails with varying degrees of success the night before and Julie did Ray’s so they turned out good.

Nick’s lacrosse buddies and the rest of Dirty Candi are around somewhere but they didn’t ride in the same car so they’re not that relevant.

They party. Celebrate being alive. Idk I’ve never gotten to go to pride.

And afterwards they all go back to the Molina house and the couch isn’t really big enough for all of them but it’s okay it’s not like they know how to sit correctly anyway.

They all kind of pile together and cuddle and watch movies until Flynn and Nick’s parents can come pick them up.

And Ray just looks around and realizes that

Sure only 2 of them are his biologically

And 3 of the others have good parent(s) who are actively a part of their lives

The remaining 4 are technically dead

But he has 9 children and he’s totally fine with that.

Cause he’s Ray Molina: best dad ever.

Victoria’s head is going to explode when she finds out that not only is the Molina house really haunted, but he’s adopted the ghosts.

[reydjarinkenobi]

Prompt: codywan, accidental baby acquisition? Love your writings!

Thank you for the prompt, I hope you like it!

---

Cody shared a glance with his general, conveying his confusion through the slightest way he tilted his chin back.

 "I think we have a stow away," General Kenobi chuckled, gazing down warmly at the small Mon Cala child floating in mid-air, giggling. They had fallen out of the vent and been reflexively caught by the Jedi with the Force, the general letting out a surprised gasp.

 They were almost a full day out from the planet they had left.

 "We don't have time to turn back, sir," Cody muttered, making tighten the 212th's guard duty whilst on planet. "Ryloth needs these supplies since their trade routes have been compromised."

 The general hummed as he floated the child towards himself, examining a dark blue bracelet on his arm that made his shoulders slump almost imperceptibly.

 "We won't need to worry about distressed parents, at least," the general observed.

 Cody frowned. "Pardon, sir?"

 There was a sad sheen in the general's eyes when he looked up at him.

 "They're an orphan," General Kenobi informed him, his lips flattening into a thin line.

 Cody twitched, something inside of him twisting. General Kenobi had informed him of what the word meant some months ago, and, whilst he couldn't relate to the feeling of losing a parent, he could relate to not having any at all.

 "What do we do?" he asked the general.

 There was nothing in the regs manuals to cover a situation like this.

 General Kenobi glanced down at the squirming child in his arms. Cody assumed the fact that it hadn't spoken yet was normal for their age. He really had no idea how old they were, nor any frame of reference for what that meant for their development. He had a hard enough time determining the ages of natborn children.

 "I suppose we'll just have to take care of them until we get time to return them to their planet, or get them somewhere safe. They unfortunately don't keep official record of refugee orphans on Lycesta, so there won't be any legal ramifications," the general mused, bouncing the child lightly, as it had begun fussing in his hold.

 The child twisted, reaching out a webbed, peach-coloured hand from over the general's arms, threatening to tumble out of General Kenobi's grip.

 The general followed the direction of the child's flailing limb, grinning at Cody when his gaze landed on him.

 "It seems they want you," he observed, taking the few steps towards Cody and depositing the child in his arms.

 Cody scrambled for a few seconds, trying to get a good grip on the still wriggling body. His guts churned as terror coursed through his veins at the thought of dropping the child. He shot a desperate look at the general that he hoped conveyed the depth of his alarm, but obviously failed to communicate the true scope of it, as the general stepped away.

 However, before the general could get any further than a single step, the child squawked, launching themselves at the general and forcing the Jedi to catch him. They then proceeded to turn around in his hold and make grabby hands at Cody until he had stepped back within touching distance of his general. Only then did the child finally settle, leaning back into the general with a sigh.

 General Kenobi cupped the back of the kid's head, a small, high sound escaping from the back of his throat.

 Cody glanced up at him sharply. He'd never heard the general make a noise remotely like that before.

 "Their scared," the general murmured, his voice almost a whisper.

 Cody swallowed back the stickiness that had suddenly latched onto his throat.

 "What now?" he asked, voice equally quiet.

 "We should get them up to the healers," the general decided after a moment's hesitation. "And organise some food for them."

 Cody nodded. That sounded logical.

 "It's lucky that we've already completely our paperwork, isn't Commander?" the general assessed with a small smile as they begun to walk, shoulders brushing as they did. "It seems we will be indisposed for the foreseeable future."

 Cody felt his lips twitching upwards. "I've always greatly enjoyed our efficiency, General."

 ----

 That night saw Cody bunking with General Kenobi.

 After a warm meal and a lot of cuddling, the child had eventually let them stray more than a metre apart, but she would still cry out if either him of the general left her sight.

 Helix had checked her out and thankfully, she seemed to be in full health, or at least she was according to the manual on Mon Calamari children that the healers at the Jedi Temple sent over to Helix. General Kenobi had sat with Cody as they both poured over it whilst the child played with a few soft toys that a few of the vode had fashioned out of offcuts of cloth from the storage lockers.

 "We will try and send someone out to retrieve her," General Windu had informed them during the hasty meeting that had been slapped together once General Kenobi had informed them of the situation.

 "Optimistic that the Senate will approve such a mission, I am not," General Yoda hummed, frowning. "Especially obstinate they have been as of late."

 Both Helix and the Temple Healer that they had commed said it could be hugely detrimental to the child's wellbeing to force her apart from either him or the general for any length of time when she had already clearly latched onto them. So, for now, Cody was stuck with the general, both of them with their shared tiny shadow.

 Not that Cody minded.

 His chest had been filled with a weird glowy feeling all day, and he'd smiled more than he ever had before, his cheeks warming whenever the General looked at him.

 He really didn't know what was happening to him.

 "That should be it," General Kenobi announced with a grunt, standing up.

 The general's bunk was only slightly bigger than the standard issue ones in the barracks, not nearly large enough to comfortable fit both of them and the child, as she'd been demanding. So, they'd pushed the general's small desk out of the way, pulled the thin mattresses off each of their bunks and pushed them together on the floor. The general had just finished arranging as many blankets as he'd been able to scrounge up into a sought of nest.

 "It looks good, sir."

 It really did. Cozy is the word Cody would use to describe it. Another bit of vocabulary picked up from his general.

 "There's need for such formalities in private," General Kenobi assured him. "You may call me Obi-Wan, Cody. It seems if we are to be co-parents for the time being, after all."

 Cody frowned, contemplating that for a few seconds, before he nodded. "It looks good, Obi-Wan."

 It was worth it just to see the way the general beamed at him.

 The child let out a huge yawn from where she had been sitting on the general's now bare bunk.

 "I think it's time for bed," the general observed and Cody nodded, walking over and scooping the kid up into his arms before kneeling down and gently depositing her in the centre of their makeshift bed. He'd shed his armour when they'd begun rearranging the room.

 The general - Obi-Wan - puttered around for a few more minutes, turning off the lights and making sure the night light that Waxer had given them, which cast a dim but warm orange glow across the room, was plugged in properly, before he finally joined them both.

 It took a bit of shifting as they negotiated their positions around the small body which had already curled up on the bed, but eventually they settled.

 Both their bodies were curled protectively around the little girl in between them, with Cody's chin resting on Obi-Wan's head.

 He ran a hand through the Jedi's soft hair, feeling the warm glow in his chest intensify as his eyes slowly slipped shut.

[yeeharley]

For @ironxprince 

Peter’s tired.

So bone-achingly, soul-crushingly tired. 

This hasn’t happened since Ben had died, a long, long time ago, and this time, it might even be worse, because Peter doesn’t understand why. He doesn’t want to get out of bed, doesn’t want to make himself breakfast, doesn’t want to work on the new Spider-Man suit that Tony’s been raving about for three months straight.

He just... doesn’t. Isn’t. Won’t.

Maybe it doesn’t make sense. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Peter can recognize that he’s spiraling, that his thoughts don’t even make sense to him. Maybe he just doesn’t want to accept that he doesn’t understand, that he doesn’t know what he’s thinking or what he wants.

He’s just so tired.

School earlier that day had been absolute hell. Between his lack of an attention span, Flash’s lack of a filter, and Ned’s lack of an ability to just stop talking for five minutes, Peter hadn’t even made it through two classes before he’d excused himself under the guise of having forgotten about a photography assignment and had come back to himself under the bathroom sink.

It had been a sensory overload, he thinks. But he could always be wrong. He’s been wrong a lot lately, it seems.

It feels like his sad, empty presence is starting to rub off on people. Peter considers himself an excellent judge of emotions (unlike Ned) and he can tell that, when he walks into the room, everything gets quiet. Sad. Empty.

He feels like a vacuum. Tony’s constantly worrying about him. The few minutes he sees May before she goes to work in the mornings, she treats him like porcelain. Harley, though?

Harley’s the worst.

He’s busy a lot, what with this being his senior year of high school. Always working on projects or designs, perched on the edge of his desk chair in his room (the room that they used to share) with his eyes glued on his computer.

He’s so smart, and he’s going to do great things. 

Sometimes, though, Peter feels like he’s holding him back.

It’s one of those late work nights for Harley, and he’s still sitting at his desk with his back hunched over like an old man. There are three cans of Red Bull next to his hands, and as his fingers fly over the keyboard, Peter wonders if that’s all he’s had.

Peter watches him from Harley’s bed (their bed), eyes dull and tired. He wants to go to sleep, because right here, in the safest room with his safest person, he feels more exhausted than he has in a week.

But he doesn’t want to go to bed if he isn’t snuggling with his Harley, and Harley looks so focused that he knows that he won’t be ready to lay down for at least an hour.

“You almost finished?” Peter asks, trying to hide the hope in his drowsy voice. “Harls?”

Harley types out another sentence and before turning to eye Peter over his shoulder, neck craning. His curls don’t look as gold as they normally do when they’re backlit with the white-blue light of his computer; they’re pale. Glowy. Like he’s about to start blasting Let It Go and shooting ice out of his hands.

“-eter? Peter, honey?” 

Peter shakes himself out of his lovey-dovey thoughts, eyes wide. Harley looks worried (he doesn’t want that, he doesn’t want Harley to worry). He turns around all the way, kicking his feet against the floor to move his chair, and leans forward with his hands resting on his knees.

“Are you okay, honey?”

He wants to nod, wants to tell him that he’s fine and he should go back to work because he looks so busy. In the end, though, the battle between his heart (tell him and get help, you need to sleep) and his head (let it go and wait for him to finish) is won by the former.

Peter shakes his head, and his face crumples, exhaustion winning out after a weeks-long struggle.

Harley’s across the room before he can blink, kneeling down on the carpeted floor and taking Peter’s face between warm, worn hands. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” he murmurs, tilting his head so he can see Peter more clearly. “Talk to me, Peter.”

Through his tears, Peter sees the gentle smile that curls across Harley’s lips (that smile, that beautiful, shining smile) and it makes him cry even harder.

“I’m just- just tired,” he sobs, reaching up with his left hand to grip Harley’s wrist. The floodgate opens and it all comes spilling out- months of exhaustion and anger and unanswered desperation.

And Harley just… listens. He sits there, knelt on the carpet at what must be an uncomfortable angle, and listens as Peter cries about what a hard time he’s been having lately and how he feels alone all the time.

And, when Peter’s cried himself out, Harley climbs up onto the bed and pulls Peter back to the top, burying him under comforters and propping him up on pillows with that gentle touch he reserves for Peter and Peter only. Once he’s got him all warm and situated, Harley crawls under the covers himself. Winds his arms around Peter’s shoulders and pulls him close, one hand gently stroking his hair, the other holding him to his chest.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you,” he whispers.

Peter takes a shuddering breath and nods, burrowing into Harley’s embrace. “It’s okay. I understand why.”

Harley shakes his head. “It’s not. But I’m here now, okay? I’m here.”

And, in the low light of Harley’s computer, Peter cries himself out and falls asleep with a light head for the first time in a month.

It feels good to know that Harley’s always going to be there for him.

[cartoonfangirl1218]

Winner’s Curse Ch. 30

Calix and Circe transported them to Auradon Prep where the bright light enemated from the balcony where only two years ago, Ben had made his proclamation that changed everything. Guards were unconscious on the ground and others were running towards the villages, away from the sword, and the quartet that Jordan could see were watching the chaos. Wait there wasn’t a quartet? There were five. Morgana had joined them.

Ben was outside as well with FG, Mal, Jane, Carlos, Evie and Lonnie, and the young king was frantically talking to the guard who was stammering so hard he wasn’t making any sense.

“Ma-Maleficent is back. The dragon is here! She torched a house. We got it out in time but she put a house on fire! We all have to go right away!” And the guard ran from his king’s side, barking orders and running backwards till he tripped over a stone.

“I’ll go stop her,” Mal volunteered with Evie nodding at her side. “I’ll help too,” Celia popped up with several of Uma’s crew members that Jordan never bothered to learn their names.

Ben looked frazzled but his voice was anything but. “Mal, you, Evie, Celia and FG go find your mother. The guard said she was heading toward Aurora’s castle.”

“Jay, Uma, um Jay’s relative I’m guessing, and Jordan, you can go to Jafar. I’m not sure where he is but Circe can transport you there.” “Lonnie, Aziz, Cosette, Circe, Carlos and I will go against Nerissa and Lady Caine. They went to my parent’s home. Now go go go!”

Jordan allowed Aziz to wish her group to transport to Jafar who apparently hadn’t gotten very far as he was striding through the woods of Charmingburg.

And thanks to magic’s unsubtlty, Jafar noticed them all immediately when they fell in a circle around him.

Though he was surrounded, Jafar merely cackled, training his eyes on his son.

“Ssssson, I wasssss wondering when you’d arrive,” Jafar hissed, his snake tongue flicking in and out.

The black sheen of his robe turned dull, stretching longer and longer as his legs disappeared into a reptilian coil of a snake tail.

Jafar’s eyes turned red, his nose flattened disappearing into a cobra snout and his turban fell apart to reveal his flaring hood.

And just like in the stories, he was no average snake, but one as large as a dragon. His tail boomed as he slapped it down, causing them all to fall to their knees.

“You were ssssuch a disssaapointment. You weren’t ssssnakey enough like me.” Jafar crowed, before his human speech was lost entirely and his eyes lost their red. They turned black as his gleaming scales, and he rose to the height of the trees.

It was possible the cobra senses would overwhelm Jafar’s human brain, and they could try to catch it like they would a regular one but Jordan had some doubts. This cobra was intently staring at Jay, his head following Jay’s movements when the teen swayed to the left or right.

Jafar was silent, a sign that he was waiting to strike, and from the way Jay balanced on the balls of his feet, it was clear he knew it too.

But since Jafar was focused Jay…

Uma made a point to make eye contact with each of them, tilting her head to the snake and tapping at the sword on her sheath, indicating they should jump on him while he was distracted.

She whistled, signalling for them to jump but that only brought Jafar’s attention to them. Since snakes did not have good eyesight, he turned to face Jade instead of Uma who emitted the sound, but that was distraction enough for Jay.

He clambered up a tree and jumped onto Jafar’s hood, riding the cobra like a rodeo clown, he held on with one hand while punching him with the other. The cobra thrashed and they took their chance to hit it. Uma pounded against the torso with her sword even though it barely made a dent. No results but Jafar tried to coil away while bucking his head to remove Jay.

Jade began to clamber up Jafar’s back too, acting as another annoying pest for the snake to try to thrash around and get rid of.

And Jordan stood there, wishing that her powers allowed her to attack other humans instead of being forced to wait for someone to wish her to do so.

But that didn’t mean she couldn’t change the environment a little.

She concentrated, imagining the taste of the gritty particles sand caught in her mouth, the painful pricks of never-ending assult of a sandstorm swirling around, and she visualized it to reality. She aimed the mini sandstorm to Jafar’s eyes, blinding him.

The snake flailed hitting a tree, and falling to his side. Several trees fell around them and Jordan spotted Uma in the line of one.

“Watch out!” She screamed, the urgency giving wings to her feat as she shoved the blue-braided girl out of the way. The splintered wood and green shubbery showering them with spears to the arms and face. A little rough but not as bad as the sound of a sickening crunch would have been.

Jay was standing on the ground now as the cobra began to shrink in size for no apparent reason. Jordan doubted a punch would be enough to magic out. But she sensed a change in the air.

The air crackled with electricity even though there was no lightning in the sky. The air felt thin, and she could see from the grimaces on Jade and Uma’s faces that it was affecting them though they tried not to show it.

Jafar was changing back to a human, but not the slender viziar whose luxurious robes overcompensated his lank figure. He was squant and bot-bellied dressed in pajamas. The one feather in his turban was frayed. Jafar looked down at himself, scraping out the dulled ruby in his turban to shake it angrily, “What happened to me!? My powers!”

Jay stared at him, barely restrained anger and disappointment were evident in his voice, “Nothing happened to you. This is how you always were. You have no power or skills of your own. You are lazy and selfish. The only power you had came from others like genies and your staff, and me doing all the work for you. And you lost all of it because you were always greedy for more. I’m not snakey like you, and that makes me better than you would ever be with all the power in the world.”

Jafar looked stunned, not even noticing Uma hauling him up to his feet and tying his hands behind his back with her belt, “But Morgana said… Jay?”

Jay began walking to the palace, refusing you to look behind him at the sad sack of a villain. “You are such a disappointment, Dad.”

They walked in silence back to Auradon Prep, Uma wasn’t even bothering to interrogate Jafar what he meant about Morgana. The mood was too somber for that as was the tension radiating off Jay who kept walking stiffily forward.

They arrived at the entrance where the others with similarly defeated and sluggish looking Maleficent, Lady Caine and Nerissa.

Uma handed Jafar over to FG who tied the four villains together with another magical bundle of pumpkin vines which she, Jane, Carlos and Evie took to the dungeon carriage with Harry, Gil and Cosette acting as the muscle in case the villains tried to do anything.

The remaining people looked up at the five on the balcony who seemed to be in a discussion of some sort.

“So we’re all in agreement that they’re behind this,” Mal nodded toward the mini Coven.

“Jafar said something about Morgana in relation to his powers.” Uma informed.

“Lady Caine mentioned something about how this is Morgana’s and her welp’s fault. I knew Morgaine was behind this.” Ben growled, some of his inner beastly side emerging though he cleared his throat and seemed to clamp it down.

At that moment, as if summoned by their discussion, Morgana, Morgaine, Kyro and Victoria appeared beside them.

“Wow, that was-that was bad but good thing my mother double crossed those bad guys by pretending to be on their side.” Morgaine said in a overly gushing as if she said it movingly enough, it would make her sound sincere.

Morgana smiled at her daughter’s compliment, undaunted by the unbelieving glares of the group looking at her. “That’s right. I was double crossing the Coven, and Lady Caine here. I knew about their plan to invade Auradon so I put myself in their good graces, and when these four managed to escape, I gave them this power jewel,” She plucked a ruby from Jafar’s turban, “It strengthens their magic, but gives me the control to shut it off. You’re welcome.”

Ben just stared. Jordan was surprised by how blank he looked like he just went from numb from the audacity of this women to lie so bluntly to their faces and present herself as a hero.

Luckily, Mal and Uma had no problem tearing down Morgana’s words.

“Uh yeah, no thank you. You’re going to join them in the Isle where you belong.” Mal cried.

“You’re no hero. You put the Isle and Auradon in danger for your own selfish wants.” Uma said.

“We’re trying to save Auradon, we’re trying to close the barrier. Alexandria is up there, trying to figure it out right now,” Victoria insisted.

“The glowy white beam you created says otherwise,” Mal retorted.

While the three teens looked away, Kyro in particular was pouting, Morgana remained calm.

Nonchalantly, as if they were talking about the weather she said, “We didn’t plan for it all to come this. But if the king won’t accept us as heroes and agree to our demands… we should get a new king.”

Morgana and Morgaine’s hands began to glow the mystical blue glow that was unique to Camelot’s sorcerers.

Kyro shrank to his normal fairy size, and Victoria unsheathed her own sword, clearly taken from one of the Royal Guard.

Morgana striked first, sending a blue ball of power at Ben’s heart which Circe blocked with a magical shield.

The threat seemed to snap everyone out of their shock.

Kyro buzzed around Ben, and Mal who tried to catch him with their hands but were pushed away by the shock of Kyro blowing flames at them. The fay was the son of a dragon after all. Mal transformed into a dragon herself to combat his flames with her much larger green. Ben tried to hold her back, “No, Mal, he’s a fairy, you’ll crisp him! And guys, careful with Victoria she is under mind control.”

“I’ll try. No promises.” Jay grunted as he pressed his back against his cousin as he sparred with Victoria who had been training for her dream goal to be a royal guard for ten years compared to Jay’s year of R.O.A.R. swordfighting.

He switched off with Jade who threw a sword to Lala who covered her back with Aziz, surrounding Victoria in a four way sword fight.

As Circe and Morgana faced off, Calix threw magic spell after magic spell at Morgaine, batting lines about his “poor broken heart” and how dare she not mention that she was an evil sorceress while they were sleeping together. The irrelevant comments clearly annoyed the teenage sorcereress who was trying to keep up her serious bad girl sorcerer vibe.

Jordan was about to jump in to help with Kyro when lighting cracked above them. Winds that wre blowing steadily suddenly turned rough,disturbing the fight with flyaway banners and broken tree branches. A storm was swirling above them and it was gaining the ferocity of a hurricane.

Jordan looked to Uma who didn’t have a specific sparring partner either and went to her, “We need to get to the balcony, it’s the source of the magic, come on.”

They burst through the halls where students were confusedly peeking out to see what was going on outside but the two ignored. They ran through Ben’s office to window but it was blocked by a magic barrier.

Uma was about to try to fight against it with her sword but Jordan placed a hand on her arm, “I can handle this. Phenomenal cosmic powers after all.”

She closed her eyes and pushed, feeling the strength of a brick and iron wall pushing against her magic but she kept going. She felt the solid barrier pressing against her whole body, giving her a migraine as she pushed forward. Pushed as if she was trying to blend into the wall. Pushed until she heard the crack.

She nearly fell over as the magic shield fell, and the two girls cautiously stepped onto the balcony.

But Alexandria wasn’t there.

Leaves swirled around, but there was no sign of the mermaid princess. Just a chalice filled with blood and the levitating sword of Camelot, glowing and pointing at the Isle where more clouds gathered and darkened.

Uma tried to lift it, muscles straining and cheeks puffing but it wouldn’t budge.

Only the one true king or powerful magic could move it.

Jordan tried her hand, but one touch of the iron burnt her palms and burned through her veins. Gasping she fell to the floor, shaking from the pain of it.

They were good, the sword must be connected to the Mini Coven if the blood chalice indicated anything.

Uma looked and dumped the chalice on the ground, waiting for the spilt blood to affect the sword somehow but it continued levitating.

Jordan stared, though the wind was blurring her eyesight, and patted her hands on her pants in an effort to cool the burns, but nothing came to her mind.

Allah, she wished they could get the sword to move itself. Or wish that the mini Coven would just be defeated or….

And just like Celia’s plan to play the Coven off one another, the idea was simple but obvious.

“You have to make a wish,” Jordan yelled over the blowing wind, spitting out the hair that whipped into her mouth and muffled her words.

“What?” Uma yelled, trying to cover her ears and lean closer to hear.

“Wish! Wish me to transfer the power, or get rid of the sword or anything!” Jordan yelled again, pointing at the sword than at the lamp in her hands that was threatening to get swept up in the wind.

Uma’s eyes widened as she took in Jordan’s words and previously Jordan would have seen a wicked gleam in them. But she didn’t. Maybe it was there, maybe it wasn’t, but she was trying to trust people’s best intentions. And if Uma had proven anything, she was a woman of her word.

Uma grasped the lamp, and rubbed, and Jordan felt the connecting touch of rubbing hands on her wrist. The tingle filled her as Uma’s wish got lost in the wind.

The sword disappeared in a poof of pink smoke. Lightning crackled and the barrier returned in a bowl of gleaming light. Rising back over the Isle.

Another poof of smoke and a team trident appeared in Uma’s hands, dripping with salt water and tangled with kelp but the smile that glowed on Uma’s face almost made up for the salty smell.

Uma lifted her mighty weapon up and the storm began to funnel, the clouds and lighting began to twist and shape into a funnel right into Uma’s trident.

For everyone knew, tridents were descended of Poisidon. God of sea and storms.

The winds ceased and moonlight glowed from the sky.

And Uma beamed in triumph.

That smile, for the first time, made Jordan glad she granted a wish. It was a selfless one but the pure joy that shined from her made Jordan happy with her power. That she could bring happiness to people without it being at the expense of herself.

Thinking about her powers this way, she could accept it. If she gave her wishes to certain people, she could bring some good to the world. A little bit of happiness or wonderment, giving something that someone longed desired but did not believe to exist. Much like genies themselves.

Maybe she wouldn’t be following the fate of so many djinn before her. Not if she chose who to give wishes to, she would finally be in control, the control she always felt she lacked as a slave to her lamp. She wouldn’t be degraded, not if she reclaimed this for herself.

Control and freedom of choice. The two greatest drugs to a genie.

Jordan began to beam herself, her smile fueled by relief and certainty that things would turn out alright, reflecting Uma’s as she made her last wish.

“I wish to be where Alexandria is.”

A swirl of smoke and sparkle and they were gone.

And rather ungracefully deposited at Alexandria’s feet.

Alexandria was in the museum, sneaking through the exhibit of a replica of Snow White’s house, tear stained and clutching Triton’s trident.

“Alexandria,” Jordan called, remembering Ben’s words, “It’s okay. It’s okay, we closed down the barrier, and Morgana will be hauled away. Whatever control she has over you is going to be over. Just come here and we’ll help.” “It’s over?” Alexandria questioned, inching backwards, “It’s- Morgana’s captured? Wait Ben won?”

The girl turned even paler if that was possible, but her dark brown framing her white face made her look like Snow White herself surrounded by the fake forest background.

“Yes, it’s fine. The heroes won.” Jordan said softly, holding out her hand as if Alexandria was a nervous tiger and she was trying to win her trust.

Uma stepped forward, putting her trident but did not set it down, “You’re not under Morgana’s control are you? This- this invasion was an idea you helped with.” “No, that’s impos-” Jordan was about to argue when she saw Alexandria slowly nod.

“You teamed up with the villains.” Uma said, more to herself as if she was trying to piece it together, but Alexandria didn’t let her continue.

She charged but Uma was ready. She held her trident up and two crashed with a clang. Uma’s feet slid backwards but her upper body remained steady as she struggled against Alexandria.

Alexandria was blinded by emotion and it showed in her sloppy fighting skills, repeatedly lunging forward in stabbing motions with no mind to deviate from what she was doing.

Uma was skilled and she easily feigned right and left, locking her prongs with Alexandria’s until the trident slipped from her grasp with a clatter.

Alexandria stared at her fallen trident and reluctantly fell to her knees, holding her hands out in front of her so they could tie them together, sobbing all the while.

But Uma did not move to contain her. Instead he went to her knees, and waited until Alexandria lifted her head.

Once she had her attention, “Why did you do it?”

It was soft, non-judgemental but also curious as if Uma really wanted to know.

“No was going to get hurt,” Alexandria murmured, wiping away bit of hair that got into her mouth, “I-That was my condition. We- we just wanted to show that things in Auradon needed to change.” “What things?” Uma questioned.

“Everything,” Alexandria sputtered, trying to search for words, “The uniting of kingdoms, the magic ban, everything. Auradon likes to pretend everyone is the same and perfect and in harmony but it’s not!”

“It was stupid to unite the kingdoms all under King Beast. He doesn’t know what each kingdom needs. Neither does Ben. And having an Auradon-wide election for Atlantica’s queen? That’s not fair. Everyone in Atlantica voted for my mother because she trained for it her whole life, she knows what to do. And everyone else in Auradon voted for Aunt Ariel because she’s popular. She doesn’t even live in Atlantica anymore! She helps Uncle Eric’s kingdom, how in the seven seas does that makes sense or is considered a proper decision. Now Atlantica is a polluted dump but no one cares as long as those land dwellers get their underwater vacations!” “Auradon failed you,” Uma said matter of factly.

“And the Magic Ban, it hurts.” Alexandria gasped, “It just hurts. Everytime I have to return to the surface from Atlantica I have to get used to breathing this suffocating and air and the feeling of my legs being stabbed when I walk. And for what? So I can be like the other land royals and attend Auradon. Why do I have to accommodate them? Why can’t they accommodate me instead? That’s why Morgana, Kyro and I teamed up. We wanted to defeat the villains ourselves and show that-that magic can be good. Our magic is needed to fight magical enemies. It’s not bad. We shouldn’t have to deny the magic that is part of us.”

Jordan nodded sagely, bending down to her knees like Uma so she could be at Alexandria’s level, “I completely agree with you… But why did Victoria join?”

“Because if King Beast was wrong about the uniting of kingdoms and the Magic Ban, he’s also wrong about the Isle. Putting all the villains in one Isle just across from us was a mistake, and Victoria thought it was a mistake to bring Vks over too. That Auradon allowed too much time for them to stew and resent us so they should be cut off completely.”

Uma didn’t bristle at Alexandria’s words like Jordan expected her to. In fact her face didn’t change from her look. Her look was one of total empathy, that she was really listening to what Alexandria was saying.

“We- we- I just thought that if we allowed the villains to get in, we would show all the holes in King Beast’s decisions and maybe things would change.” Uma stood up to her full height, “Even though this hasn’t worked out how you planned, your stunt did make a difference. Things are gonna change around here.”

With one hand regally holding the trident, Uma held out her free hand to Alexandria, offering to help her get up. Alexandria sniffed and accepted it.

Once they placed Triton’s trident back on the mantle, the trio walked outside where things had calmed down considerably since they left.

Morgana and Morgaine were handcuffed unconscious on the ground. FG had returned with the dungeon carriage and Gil was now leading a handcuffed Victoria into the cart as Gil picked up the handcuffed sorceress. Jane placed Kyro, trapped inside a lantern, blowing flames futility against the glass.

Alexandria’s eyes widened at the sight of her defeated companions but Uma whispered reassuringly in her ear, “You’re not going to the dungeon. I’ll vouch for you.” Alexandria gave a wary nod, squaring her shoulders as she walked on her own accord, dignified as she could, into the dungeon carriage.

Ben and the others came up to them, sweating but victorious smiles were plastered on their faces.

“I see we have you to thank, Uma,” Ben slightly bowed to the sea witch. He held up her hand, “To Uma, the hero and savior of Auradon! And my new coordinator for VK relocation!”

Harry, Gil and the other Vks whooped and cheered which Jordan couldn’t help but join in.

It was over, it was actually over. The month and a half of grime and anxiety and fear for the inevitable was finally over. She could kiss the ground. But she didn’t, she still had a rep.

The less enthusiastic people of the group were Mal, and her friends who reluctantly clapped, surprised that their old rival was now a hero but that did little to dampen the mood as Harry and Gil lifted Uma up on their shoulders.

“Thank you.” Uma beamed, “Your Auradonian “heroes” were helpful too. Especially your former leader. I couldn’t have saved the day without her help.” Jordan covered her mouth to muffle the shocked squeak that came out of it as everyone turned to stare and clap for her.

She almost couldn’t believe her eyes but it was happening. At least a dozen faces were staring at her with pride and happiness, and absolutely no twinkles in their eye, signifying interior motives or greed emerging. They were clapping for her because she was a hero.

A warm feeling of pride, pride in herself bloomed in her chest and she felt her eyes sting from how overwhelmed she was of it all, but she did her best to hold it back because Allah knew Aziz would tease her about it forever. She just managed a whispered “Thank you,” coughing to clear the choked up emotion.

Once Harry and Gil set Uma down, and everyone got to crowding around and talking about their own experiences, Jordan crept up to Uma. She paused for a minute, watching as Uma took a quiet moment to herself, breathing it, still smiling broadly at everything that she had accomplished.

When Uma turned to face Harry, Jordan tapped her on the shoulder.

“Um, uhI-I just wanted to thank you for what you just said. It’s so sweet of you to thank me and call me a hero. You don’t know how much it-”

Uma backed away from Jordan a bit as she reached her arms out for a hug, “No, no. It wasn’t anything special. I was giving credit where credit was due. I really wouldn’t have been able to do it if you hadn’t made the right decision and made me your leader or if you hadn’t given me the three wishes today.”

Jordan put her hands back down to her side, trying to keep herself from hugging out of appreciation for something that was no big deal to Uma, “Still.. Thanks! Thanks so much.”

Uma nodded, “You’re welcome,” and she was swept up into her own hug with Gil and an enthusiastic kiss from her first mate.

Jordan, herself, was nearly bowled over from a hug from the behind, “Laqad faealnaha!” (We did it!)

Jordan laughed at Aziz’s loving attack, “Bialtaakid nahn faealna! Kanat mudahasha!” (Of course we did! We’re amazing!)

“So I guess we celebrate now,” Mal said once some of the buzzing excitement died down.

“No, it’s not time for celebration. We have work to do. As we agreed upon Ben.” Uma smirked as she nodded to Ben who sheepishly shrugged his shoulders.

“We made a deal.”

“Someone should go back to the Isle and alert people what's happening,” Evie said.

“Don’t worry, I planned for that too,” Uma said.

“She’s a goddess,” Harry breathed, his eyes following Uma as she, Ben, Mal and Evie headed to the castle.

Circe, Jay, Carlos, FG and the others began to clean up the debris and guide the defeated villains to the guard’s dungeon carriage that had strolled up.

And the sun began to rise.

“Huh no party,” Calix looked around at the cleaning up committee.

“I like it,” Jordan said, smiling at the newly formed camraderie as Jay introduced his cousin to Carlos, Lonnie and Jane. Cosette and Gil were hugging and talking things out. And Circe, Aziz and Lala continued cleaning up with murmered comments between them.

“After all, every fairytale ends with a party and music and celebration. This- We’re all about subverting the tropes.” Jordan said, more than happy that this was all over and that she got to comment on her favorite thing, story tropes.

“You got that right,” Calix fist-bumped her.

[mermaidxatxheart]

I was wondering if you could write something where the reader is talking to Natasha or someone about how she feels like Bucky uses her for her body? He only really has rough sex with her, never asks about her wellbeing afterwards, or during. He has only taken her on 4 dates, and practically ignores her outside of the bedroom. She just feels really used and Natasha is pissed (she votes for a break up no matter what)and Bucky overhears her and just he ends up working his ass off becuz of guilt

Choices

This was pretty easy to write, once I started it just spilled out. Thanks for the request, babe. I hope you like it. 

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Word Count: 1667

Warnings: Angst, mentions of rough sex, swearing

No one ever told you the downfall of living with spies and super soldiers.

 Like the fact that Natasha Romanoff is amazing at reading micro-expressions. She always manages to ruin a perfectly good cup of tea. 

 She sidles up to you as you sip at your tea. You determinedly ignore her stares, refusing to be the one to break.

 “What’s that face for?” She finally asks. 

 “It’s just my face, Tash.” You reply evenly. 

 “No, you have a sad mark, right there.” She pokes your forehead.

You swat her hand away with a roll of your eyes. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 “I’m expertly trained and you have a terrible poker face.” She grins. “I thought you just came from a ‘session’ with Bucky.” She hints, nudging your arm. “Shouldn’t you be all glowy and relaxed?” 

 “I’m fine.” You insist.

 “Oh my god, how can you stand that? Your pants are on fire.” 

 “Jesus, I hate you.”

 She pokes your arm, and her eyes widen. “I’m sorry, is that a bruise?” She lifts your sleeve and you yank your arm away.

 “It’s not what you think.” You sigh. 

 “Oh, so Bucky didn’t hurt you?” She snaps.

 Bucky

 His stomach rumbles again, He’s put off eating for a while. He knows Y/N would be in there, and it’s just easier to avoid you when you’re not in the bedroom. It’s hard to see you afterward, knowing what he’s done and how much he must have hurt you. He tries to resist as much as he can, he tries to hold out because he knows that every time he can’t, he’ll lose control and hurt you. 

 He almost reaches the kitchen and freezes when he hears Natasha’s voice. “Oh, so Bucky didn’t hurt you?” She snaps.

 “I’m not sure you would understand.” You reply. 

 “Try me. I thought Bucky liked you.” Natasha’s voice is defensive. 

 “He did. I mean, he does. I don’t know. I think he does. Sometimes.” You sigh and he can just picture you rubbing your face. 

 Sometimes?

 “You guys go out, don’t you? On dates?” Natasha asks and Bucky can’t stop the cringe.

 “We’ve gone on a couple. But, he has a hard time in the crowds.” You defend him, more than what he deserves. 

 “And?”

 You sigh loudly. “And, he seems more interested in having sex than going out.” You say exasperatedly. 

 “Rough sex?” Natasha guesses.

 “Yeah. I mean, it’s great.”

 “Y/N, stop making excuses,” Natasha demands, slamming her hand on the table. 

 “What are you asking me?” You shoot back.

 “How does he treat you?” She asks pointedly. 

 “Like I’m there just to have sex with him. Kind of ignores me when we’re outside the bedroom. Doesn’t particularly,” you cut off with a small noise like you’re unsure what to say. “I don’t wanna say he doesn’t care, but I don’t think it occurs to him to be soft sometimes.”

 “Soft? Like, gentle?” Natasha asks. He knows that tone. She’s rising towards anger pretty quick. 

 “Sort of? I don’t mind the roughness. I trust him not to take it too far, but he could still ask if I’m okay afterward.” You say quietly. 

 Bucky’s shoulders slump as he realizes what an asshole he is. He needs to figure out a way to make it up to you. To figure out a way to tell you all the complicated things you make him feel that he hasn’t had to deal with for 70 years.

 “That’s not okay, Y/N. That’s not just rough sex or BDSM, or whatever it’s being called. That’s certified abuse and you need to end it.” Natasha says firmly. 

 “No, Tash, it’s not-he doesn’t-”

 “End it. Look, I like Barnes as much as the next person, but not if he’s going to treat you like that. I’ll kick his ass.”

 “Please don’t.” You groan. 

 “I’m just saying. If I see you with another bruise, I’ll lose my shit.”

 Bucky steps back from the doorway, appetite lost. He needs to think, needs to clear his head. Maybe Natasha is right, as she usually is, and he should end things with you. But he doesn’t want to leave you with a bad memory of him. 

 He heads for the training center, in desperate need of a workout. He plugs in his headphones and makes quick work of taping his wrists. He heads for the punching bag and begins. 

 He never should have allowed you to get so close in the first place, but maybe he never had a choice in the matter. You tend to work your way in without anyone noticing, a small laugh here, shared joke there. Late-night snacks, early morning coffees, secret smiles across the gym floor. And then suddenly he sees you differently, knows he’s looking at a work of art, something so soft and sweet, something that holds the power to destroy him. 

 The first time you fell into bed together, you begged him for faster, harder. Your breaths were small puffs of air against his ear, your lips a sin on his neck. He destroyed you, hands too tight, hips driving too harshly. He was starving for you, and the more he devoured, the hungrier he got. 

 He was so ashamed of hurting you, too embarrassed at having lost control like that, he couldn’t even make himself ask if you were okay. That would be admitting that what he had done was wrong. But how could you feeling so good around him be wrong? And then he couldn’t bear to see the horror in your face as you realized how rough he’d been, the bruises around your wrists, at your hips. He left before you were awake, ashamed, disgusted with himself. 

 He swore he wouldn’t do it again. He would apologize or just pretend it never happened. But then you were smiling at him across the kitchen, coffee made just for him and maybe-just maybe-you didn’t hate him at all. 

 He never wanted to hurt you; never thought he would have the chance to be so intimate with anyone. You always beg him for more, harder, faster, deeper. You drive him to madness and how in the world is he supposed to resist perfection?

 But then the morning comes. Oh god, the morning light, showing off your fresh bruises, the swollen wrists, the raised marks on your bare back, the indents of metal plates etched on your skin and he’s a fucking monster. And so, he avoids you. Guilt rolls around in his stomach, tightening his insides to mummy status.

 Christ, he’s a god damn menace. 

 The bag breaks off the chain and sails across the room, sliding with a quiet thud into the wall. His hair is sticking to his face and neck with sweat. It drips in his eyes, trickles down his back, plastering his shirt to his skin.

 “Shit.” He mutters, staring at it before straightening up. 

 “I thought helping you work out aggression was my job.” You say from behind him and he jerks back away from you. You frown, taking a step towards him. He matches the distance and you pause. “Bucky?” You tilt your head.

 “I was hoping for some privacy.” He mutters, dropping his gaze. 

 “Oh. Right. I’ll leave you to it, then.” You acknowledge, taking a safe step back. “Steve keeps spare bags in that closet.” You say gesturing begins him.

 “Y/N?” He starts, looking up at you.

 “Yeah?”

 “Would you, um, would you maybe like to have dinner? With me, I mean. Dinner with me?” He asks, sounding like a buffoon. He can feel his face reddening. Christ almighty you make him nervous. 

 “I would love to.” You smile, your face lighting up in such a beautiful way. “Is tonight okay?” 

 “Yeah. I think we need to talk.” He says and your face instantly falls. 

 “Talk?”

 “Yeah.” He bobs his head like a fucking chicken. Because he’s a coward. A chickeny coward. Ugh.

 “Bucky? Should I be worried?” You bite at your bottom lip and he wants to stop you, to reassure you that everything’s fine. But he can’t. He has to do the right thing. 

 “I,” he pauses, unsure how to tell you that he was eavesdropping. “Natasha said-” he stumbles and you roll your eyes. 

 “Yeah, Natasha doesn’t always know what she’s talking about.” You say.

 “In this case, she might be right.” He hedges.

 “I bet she’s not. Let me guess, she told you that we should stop seeing each other?” You guess and he realizes his mistake. You don’t know he overheard your conversation; you think Natasha confronted him. 

 He nods, lying like a fucking carpet. 

 “Well, she’s wrong. She doesn’t understand.”

 “She understands that I hurt you.” He says quietly. 

 “Because I ask for it.” You step closer. “If I didn’t like anything you do to me, you wouldn’t be allowed to keep doing it, Bucky.”

 “I can’t keep control when I’m... when we’re...” 

 “Fucking? Maybe if you didn’t fight it so hard, you’d have an easier time.” You say evenly, and he realizes that you’ve moved in front of him without him even realizing it. “So, we’ll go to dinner and talk about everything we want from each other. And I’ll try not to encourage you so much. Although the sex is pretty fantastic, I don’t want you feeling bad. I think the solution is more sex so that you get used to it and it doesn’t all spill out at once.” You clutch his shirt and pull him down to meet you for a searing kiss that steals his breath. “I’ll see you for dinner.”

 And then you’re gone.

 Maybe he was wrong about losing control. Maybe he never had it in the first place. Maybe you’ve been getting almost everything you want all along. But he can definitely do better at the soft parts, like not ignoring you, like making sure you’re okay. Maybe admitting it doesn’t make him a monster, but hiding from it does. 

 Everything Tag List:

@everythingisoverrated @dsakita @shreddedparchment @bitsandbobsandstuff @after-avenging-hours @alexblrus @thinkingsofamadwoman @i-dont-want-to-be-called @thefridgeismybestie @fortheloveofallthatsholy @crazychaotic @pleasureoftheguiltiestvariety @redstarstan @justreadingfics @themistsofmyavalon @sebastianstanslefteyebrow @wkemeup @thiccbinch @glide-thru @elliee1497 @ellaenchanted91 @part-time-patronus @janeyboo @jensensjaredsandmishaslover @thirstybitchqueen @xxloki81xx @stuckonjbbarnes @browngirlmagic @geeksareunique @nicoleplacee @lexshead @gambitsqueen @sebbbystaaan @lokisironthrone @imanuglywombat @nea90sweetie

[diddlesanddoodles]

DUMPLING ch 51

Whatever Bertol had done to her, Nenani continued to feel the exhaustion deep inside her body and limbs. Her arms felt very much as though weights had been strapped to her wrists, and she found the simple endeavor of keeping herself sitting upright to be alarmingly difficult. At last, the fatigue won out and she collapsed back against the bubble in a tired heap. It was a terribly distressful feeling, and she may have been inclined to worry more if not for the reassuring sight of both Farris and Keral only a dozen yards away.

While Keral’s gaze was firmly fixed on their captor, Farris was studying the condition of the humans as best he could from his vantage point. His green eyes met Nenani’s own and she placed a hand against the wall of her prison in a silent plea for release. Shifting his focus to Bertol, his expression darkened and his mouth pulled back into a bitter snarl.

“I’ll warn yer now,” he growled. “If ye’v harmed a single hair on their heads, I’ll draw and quarter ye myself.”

“They’re perfectly fine,” Bertol replied in irritation as he waved a dismissive hand. “Ye should be more concerned with how well Ellis is fairing, seeing as she’s the one been stuck in a damn jar for weeks.”

“She says she’s just fine,” Keral assured him and then jerked his head forward towards the bubble. “Now let ‘em go and I’ll let sparkles here out.”

Bertol did not move and merely regarded the brothers with reserved contempt. “You must think I’m an imbecile.”

Keral did not deny the accusation nor did his stare waver. Bertol’s own glare remained firm and unyielding and several moments passed where nothing was said. Abruptly, the tense silence was shattered when a small voice cut through with an irritated, “Oh for fuck’s sake, Bertie! Just let them go already.”

The severity of Bertol’s glare lessened and he addressed the occupant of the lantern. “You first. Then the children.”

“You must think so little of me that I could not escape this thing,” the fairy replied, rapping her knuckles against the glass. “Unlike the jar, this hasn’t been sealed. So let them go so we can all get on with our lives. I am desperate to spread my wings.”

Though not appearing the least bit placated by Ellis’s words, Bertol nodded mutely and waved a hand in a downward motion. All three bubbles floated towards the ground before bursting, and all three of the humans fell unceremoniously onto the grass. Nenani struggled to push herself up, her arms shaking badly. Jae was suddenly at her side, pulling her up with him and leaning her against his side for support.

“Watch it,” Keral growled, reaching up to the lantern and pulling the door open. With a sidelong glance at the fairy, he said, “I appreciate yer cooperation, Ellis. And yer help.”

“I suppose it’s my own fault,” said the fairy as she leaped into the air. Her iridescent wings unfurled from behind her and she stretched her arms and legs out, relishing her new freedom, as she hovered around Keral’s head as a golden ball of light. “I could have explained everything at the start, but magicians are so thick-headed about their worldview of magic, I didn’t see the point of even trying it. I’m just sorry Haiyer got mixed up in all this stupidity. And the others too, of course.”

Keral level a deadpan look at the fairy. “Uh-huh.”

The fairy flew over the brothers’ heads before zooming across the field. Bertol stepped forward to meet her, his hands reaching out eagerly, and the golden ball of light dropped gently into his hands. “I missed you, dearheart.”

“You sentimental old fool,” Ellis replied, though there was a smile in her voice. She rose up to nuzzle his nose and wrapped her thin arms around his face. “I missed you too.”

“Let’s go home,” Bertol said as he turned and began making his way back towards his tent.

“Not so fast there,” Keral said as he put down the lantern and slipped his pack off his back. He stepped forward, pushing his coat back to pull a pair of iron shackles from his belt. “Ye didn’t think ye could just up and trespass on the King’s property, abduct his son plus the heirs to Silvaara, and then just bugger off back into obscurity did ye? Ye’v got a lot to answer fer, Bertol.”

Bertol sneered at the ranger, pulling Ellis to his chest. “You have your waifs and I have my companion. Our business ends here.”

“I don’t think so,” replied the ranger, and then sprinted forward, his hands reaching out for the hermit. Bertol’s right hand pulsed with yellow light and he swung it in a circle above his head. A great wind cut through the copse of trees that shoved Keral back as it struck him. The ranger fell to the ground hard with a cry of alarm and pain. Farris scrambled towards the children and fell to his knees. His arms swept around to coax them all together and he used his body as a shield against the unnaturally turbulent wind.

Only when it died away did Farris raise his head, though he kept his arms curled around the humans. Nenani looked up to find that Bertol, Ellis, and the tent were all gone. She was still staring at the empty spot they left behind when, all at once, a deep chill settled over them. It was as though Bertol had been keeping the worst of the cold at bay and, now that he was gone, it was seeping back. Nenani’s whole body shivered with the sudden drop in temperature. The frozen grass under her was melting and soaking through the thin material of her nightdress, further exacerbating the problem.

Farris pushed himself up to study the humans below him. “Everyone alright, then?”

“I didn’t get to say hi to Ellis,” Haiyer murmured with disappointment from his place beside Jae.

“Damn raggedy old mage,” Keral grumbled bitterly as he picked himself up, favoring his right hip. He brushed away grass from his sleeves and backside as he surveyed the now empty lot where the tent had been. But it was not completely empty. Within the impression left behind, Keral’s eyes spotted the humans’ blankets laying in sad little heaps. The bright-colored fabric stood out starkly against the greenery. Bending down to gather them up, he brushed off the clinging debris while still muttering under his breath. “Fuckin’ moldy old goat.”

“Dammit, why is it so cold?” Jae demanded loudly while fervently rubbing his arms.

“Because its winter and yer damn near naked,” Farris snapped as he shrugged off the pack he was carrying. It plopped onto the ground and he began to fish around inside. “Luck fer ye three, I thought of that.”

He pulled out a wool coat for Jae who took it eagerly and slipped into it. It was a thick dark brown material that fell around his knees with a simple string belt to tighten around his waist. For Haiyer, he pulled out a tawny-colored padded tunic. It looked more appropriate for someone three times Haiyer’s size. “Wasn’t able to actually nab anythin’ of yer own, but this’ll keep ye toasty just fine.”

The tunic’s sleeves were far too long on Haiyer, but the little boy seemed content enough to let the extra length fall over his hands and drag on the ground. The thicker material would do well enough to shield against the cold.

Keral walked up on them while holding out the retrieved blankets. “These should help a bit too.”

For Nenani, Farris had brought one of the wool dresses that Lolly had made her when she first came to Vhasshal. She had difficulty slipping into it and Farris’s eyes narrowed as he watched her struggle. He brought his hand to her side, fingers curling around her back, and leaned down to peer into her face.

“What’s wrong, lass?” he asked. The creases of his forehead were more concerned than irritated.

“Tired,” she answered, leaning against his hand. “Bertol did something to me.”

The mild worry in Farris’s face was replaced with fury. “What did he do to ye?” he demanded.

Jae answered for her before she could form any response.

“She went all fire mage on him. He really didn’t like that.” He held his hands up and wiggled his fingers. “Then his hands got all glowy and he just sort of sucked all her magic out of her until her flames died out. He seems to have a thing against fire mages.”

Farris’s nostrils flared, but he held back his words and focused instead on helping Nenani into the dress. She had managed to get it mostly over her head by herself, but Farris had to pull the rest of the garment down over her. Once she was dressed, he took one of the blankets from Keral, wrapped her up, and then tucked her into the crook of his arm.

“If I ever see that bastard again,” Farris sneered, “I’ll skin ‘im.”

He growled and grumbled inaudibly for several more moments and then turned his attention to the boys. “Yer just gonna have to manage without shoes til we get back. But we’ll be carryin’ ye, so ye should be just fine.”

“And speakin’ ‘a that,” Keral interjected. He stood over Jae and Haiyer and dropped the two other blankets over their heads before standing back up. Ignoring their muffled protests, he planted his hands on his hips to gaze out at the scenery around them. “Yer not gonna like how long that’s gonna take.”

Farris frowned. “Just how far out are we?”

“Don’t have a fuckin’ clue,” was Keral’s frank reply.

Farris’s frown deepened. “What do ye mean ye don’t know? Yer a damn ranger.”

Keral returned his brother’s glare. “That was my first time taking a fairy portal, too. I’m used to knowin’ how I got to a place instead of being dropped down into it. What I can tell ye is we’re way fuckin’ north.”

“Well I could ‘a figure that much out myself,” Farris grunted, jerking his head towards the looming mountains.

“Fairy portal?” Jae asked after freeing himself from the blanket, and he looked back and forth between the brothers for explanation. “What do you mean fairy portal?”

“Just as I said,” Keral answered. “When the guards found ye all missin’, the whole castle lost their fuckin’ minds. Turned the whole place upside down. And we weren’t gonna just sit there and pretend like we were gonna find ye somewhere under the floorboards, so we decided to find ye ourselves. Grabbed some supplies and went to see if Maevis could give us an idea of which direction to go.” He scratched his chin and shrugged. “And then wouldn’t ye know it? A lil’ voice starts berattin’ us from an empty jar. Said we were irresponsible fer losin’ ye and some other insults I don’t remember. Then all a sudden that empty jar wasn’t so empty anymore. Maevis damn nearly fainted findin’ out not only are fairies real, but he’d been keepin’ one in his office. She offered to lead us to the fucker that nabbed ye three in exchange fer lettin’ her out and we took her up on that. She makes this big ol’ ring of light, we stepped through, and poof! Here we are.”

“And now that the fairy has left…” Jae prompted.

Keral turned his head to regard him with one eye. “We ain’t got as easy a way back as we did gettin’ here. So that means we’re walkin’.”

Jae wilted, pulling the edges of the blanket up around his face. “Wonderful.”

“Well, don’t be surrenderin’ to gloom just yet, lad. Might not be as bad as all that,” Keral replied. He pointed off to the left at the tallest of the mountain peaks. “That big one there is Mt. Vehnmir. So that must mean we’re somewhere in Dovencliffe or close enough to it. If we start headin’s south, we’ll start hittin’ civilization within a day or so. The Lords Harvington and Adler have hunting lodges up this way. If we can find one, we’d be able to garner some help from them and get a message back to Warren at the very least. Lord Brennan’s estate’s up here too somewhere.” Keral grinned down at Jae, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “And of course yourdear friend Lord Colem.”

Jae glared at the ranger. “I would rather walk all the way back barefooted.”

“Lucky fer ye, then,” Keral laughed, “I’ll be carryin’ yer sorry arse.”

“Great,” Jae grumbled. “First I’m taken hostage by bumbling fucking Bertol and then I get to be hauled across the country like a sack of potatoes.”

“A royal sack of potatoes,” Keral corrected smugly.

“You’re far too happy about this,” Jae told him. “Shouldn’t you be more pissed that Bertol got away?”

Keral crouched back down in front of Jae and ruffled his hair. The puckish tilt to his grin grew warmer and soft. “Just relieved to have found ye safe and in one piece, lad.”

Wrapped up snugly in his blanket, Haiyer ambled over to Keral and tugged on his coat. When the ranger looked, all he could see of the boy were his eyes and nose peeking out.

“Hm? What’s wrong, pup? Yer feet froze?” Keral asked, reaching down and gently nudging the boy with a knuckle.

Haiyer wiggled back and forth. “I have to pee…”

Keral raised an eyebrow and jerked his head in the direction of the trees. “Plenty ‘a trees over that way.”

“I don’t wanna go by myself,” whined the little boy.

Keral smirked and eyed him accusingly. “Don’t tell me yer afraid now.”

Even with the majority of the boy’s face covered, his expression of indignation was clear enough, and to further accentuate it he stomped his foot. “I am not afraid.”

Keral hummed in consideration. “I think ye might be.”

With nothing more than a glare, Haiyer turned on his heels and began to march towards the trees. The excess blanket trailed behind him like an overly long cape. Jae moved as though to follow, but Keral stopped him by placing his hand in his path. At Jae’s questioning stare, Keral whispered, “Let’s see how far he gets.”

He was nearly two thirds of the way to the nearest tree before his determined pace began to slow and then stopped. Haiyer turned just enough to see if Keral was watching. Seeing that he had the ranger’s attention, Haiyer gave his best pleading pout and made a high-pitched mewling sound.

With a shake of his head, Keral stood. Chuckling, he told the little boy, “Son, one ‘a these days yer gonna have to learn to take a piss all on yer own.”

“I know how!” Haiyer asserted vehemently as Keral approached. In a smaller, less assured, voice he admitted, “But I don’t want to.”

Keral gathered up the boy and blanket before making his way to the shelter of the trees. Farris watched them go with a sigh and shake of his head before turning his attention back to his ward.

“How ye feelin’, Dumplin’?” he asked in a quiet voice.

She wiggled within her blanket, thankful for the warmth. “A little better I think. Just tired.”

“Hm.” Farris did not seem convinced.

Glancing up to meet his eye, she said, “Thank you for coming to get us.”

He snorted a laugh, a faint smile pulling at his lips. “Aye, well I got a wee bit tired of waitin’ fer someone else to go and rescue ye from all the shit ye manage to get yerself into. Gotta tell ye though, lil’un. Startin’ to get old.”

She broke out into a smile, but it quickly faded as guilt welled up. “Sorry you’re stuck out here.”

“A lil’ walking never hurt no one,” Farris assured her. “Could ‘a timed it better though. After that smokey bastard crashin’ the party last night, everyone was convinced he’d been the one to grabbed ye. The King and yer Mum were just about ready to send out the army.”

Nenani’s eyed widened in alarm and she tried to sit up. “What?”

He coaxed her back down with his hand. “Don’t get too excited now. I’m sure Maevis’ll have told him all that happened. So the sooner we can get a message back to ‘em the better.”

“Warren wouldn’t really send the army out,” Jae remarked, but as he said it, he looked unsure. “Would he?”

“Can’t rightly say. He was livid when they found all ye missin’,” Farris told him frankly.  “Chewed out the guards, chewed out Rheil, and Lolly said he was even throwin’ stuff.”

Jae looked very nervous and uncomfortable. “How long do you think it’ll take to get back?”

“Wrong one to ask, lad,” Farris replied. “My work’s in the kitchen. All this out here is Keral’s territory. But if we do find one ‘a these lord’s estates or lodges or whatever the fuck they have out here, it won’t be longer to get a message to His Majesty. If only to let ‘im know yer alright.”

“Was Mama mad too?” Nenani asked.

Farris shrugged. “Couldn’t say. Wouldn’t be surprised to find a few bits a furniture were turned into charcoal, though.”

………………………………..

Within the hour, they were moving. Jae was settled away inside Keral’s pack while Haiyer hitched a ride inside his large breast pocket. Farris made room inside his own pack for Nenani to lay down and rest. The sway of his gait easily lulled her into a dreamless sleep. When she opened her eyes, feeling more like herself, it did not seem as though she had been asleep for very long. Her side was sore from where she laid against her dagger, but the pulling weight of fatigue was gone and replaced by a dull ache in her belly. She had only nibbled on the apples Bertol had doled out to them and now she was properly hungry.

Farris had left the top flap unbuckled and slivers of day light shone through the gaps. The swaying of the pack made getting to her feet tricky, but once she got a good hold of the top ridge she managed to hold herself up. Pushing aside the top flap, Nenani poked her head out into the crisp mid-morning air. The sun was further up in the sky, but not quite directly above them yet.

“I promise you Keral on my life,” Jae was saying with real vehemence. He too was standing inside the pack with the flap pushed aside. “The lyric goes ‘and I’ll be gone by morning,’ not ‘I’ll be fine by morning.’”

“Hm,” Keral hummed in consideration. “Might be. Still like the other version better.”

Jae sighed dramatically and flopped over the ranger’s shoulder. “You’re impossible.”

Farris laughed. “No use tryin’, lad. That one’ll never admit to bein’ wrong.”

Keral turned to glower at his brother. “Me? Yer one to talk. I’ve met tax collectors more reasonable then yer moody arse.”

“Like to see how much ‘a yer manners ye manage to hold onto with my work load,” Farris shot back and then added, “And they’re paid more.”

“Ah, I’m sure yer justly compensated,” Keral told his brother and then under his breath, muttered, “ye kitchen gremlin.”

“Heard that,” Farris growled.

“Well, good to know yer hearin’ is still good.”

“If that was yer attempt at callin’ me old,” Farris replied with an unamused stare, “maybe ye need remidin’ that I’m only three hours older then ye.”

“And what a world of difference those three hours make,” Keral quipped with a self-satisfied smirk.

“Come off it,” scoffed Farris, but the edges of his mouth quirked in a suppressed grin.

“Just let me know if ye need a rest, old man,” Keral laughed.

Wordlessly, Farris leaned over and punched Keral’s shoulder. The ranger winced and pulled a pained hiss through his teeth. He rolled the offended shoulder. “I’m tellin’ Ma.”

“Go right ahead,” Farris laughed. “I’ve got three more in reserve from the last few times she begged me to knock some sense into ye.”

“Yer just lucky the lil’uns are here,” Keral warned, but his expression was one of mock anger. “Or I might ‘a said somethin’ unkind.”

Farris chuckled and shook his head. The motion caused him to catch sight of Nenani and he turned to better look at her. “Did our bickerin’ wake ye up?”

“No,” she answered, smiling. Leaning forward to rest her arms over his shoulder, she watched the grass below his feet pass by. “I’m all better now.”

He rumbled approvingly, the sound sending light vibrations through her arms.

Another hour passed easily as they moved through the low rolling hills, and the sparse cloisters of trees began to converge more and more until they faced the treeline of a thick forest.

“This can’t be the north tip of the Blackwoods, can it?” Farris asked, looking to his brother.

“Hm,” Keral hummed as he studied the trees before them and then looked up to mark the sun’s position in the sky. “Don’t think so. That would put us close to the Hoek boarder and Mt. Vehnmir is too far west. No, my best guess is we’re coming up on one of those hunting lodges I mentioned. At least, that’s my hope.”

“It’d be nice to get a message to the castle by end of day,” Farris remarked.

As the brothers spoke, Nenani took time to study the trees for herself. They were enormous things with their canopies reaching hundreds of feet above their heads. Though the season had robbed them of their leaves, the remaining branches jutted out every which way, with the smaller twigs spider-webbing out and mingling with those of the trees around them. The early morning fog that had dissipated with the climbing sun still clung to the inner pathways by virtue of the spindly canopy above, resulting in an eerie and ominous sight.

“Are we going through?” Nenani asked.

“Well, that’s the question,” Keral replied. “Do we go through or walk around? There’s no real way of knowing from where we are. There’s dangers to traveling through open land. No cover, for one. But that also means ye tend to see anyone trying to come up on ye. Most of the time, at least. In a forest, ye have more cover. But less of a chance at seein’ someone tailin’ ye.”

“What about walking around?” Nenani suggested, though even as she said it, she felt it was a silly question.

“Walking around might cost us a day, going through may only save us an hour. No way of knowin’ right now.”

“What would you do?” Jae asked the ranger. “If it was just you on patrol?”

“Me? Forest,” Keral asked, briefly glancing at Jae before turning his gaze back to the trees. “More resources, more cover.”

“Seems like we have our answer then,” Jae said simply.

Keral looked to Farris. “Ye agree?”

“If this is a lord’s land,” Farris began, his expression serious. “We could end up walkin’ right into a hunting party and risk earnin’ an arrow in our hides.”

“Ye ever been on a hunt with a noble, Farris?” Keral asked.

“Can’t say I’ve had the pleasure,” Farris replied wryly.

“They ain’t quiet affairs,” he explained. “Loud horns, squires whackin’ at bushes, and hollerin’ tryin’ to scare any game out into the open. We’ll hear any hunting party long before we come upon ‘em. And the season’s over fer that sort of sport. The lord’s still likely to be at the castle or on his way to his home estate. We’d be dealin’ with his resident staff.”

Farris considered this for a few moments and then nodded. “If there’s a chance goin’ through saves us a few miles, I agree. We should take it. Sooner we get these three back home, the better.”

Keral nodded. “I agree.”

Nenani kept quiet as they approached the tree line, all the while eyeing the skeletal branches above with growing unease. She could not explain exactly the reason for it, but she felt as though they were being watched.

And that they were distinctly unwelcomed. 

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BONUS ART: 

[duhragonball]

Yamcha if you're still doing the character meme?

I am still doing these, and I’m enjoying it, so keep ‘em coming.   Before I start, let me promote the original post, in case anyone else wants to start their own thing.  I’d link to the OP, but I guess they deleted this from their blog, probably because their notifications went nuts.

Give me a character and I will answer:

Why I like them: Let’s be honest, Yamcha doesn’t get a lot of big “hero moments” in Dragon Ball.   Or Dragon Ball Z, or Dragon Ball GT, or Dragon Ball Su-- Look, you get the idea.   In most arcs, he’s the first one to get benched.   In tournaments, he always loses in the first round.   He spent the King Piccolo Saga recovering from a broken leg.    Against the Saiyans, he was the first one to die.  Against the Androids, he was nearly killed and had to sit out the rest of that arc.   In the Buu Sagas he was retired.    In a number of major storylines, he just isn’t there, because no one called him.

But he remains a fixture in the franchise anyway, because he’s always showing up for more.  Let’s take the Buu Saga as an example.   It didn’t surprise me to find out he had retired, mainly from a dramatic standpoint.    There’s a lot of new characters in the Buu arc, and it made sense for some of the older characters to step aside and make room for them.   But he’s still there, because he wants to see Goku one last time, and he wants to hang out with his friends and watch some of them kick the crap out of each other.   It was kind of sad to see him stay behind while the others rushed off to follow the Supreme Kai, but he’s retired, after all.    Also, they didn’t stop to fill him in on what was happening.    I suspect he might have tagged along if they asked.  

As it was, he still ended up getting involved, and he was with the Dragon Team right up until Super Buu cornered them on the Lookout.     And the next time we see him, he’s on the Grand Kai Planet with Krillin, and King Kai seriously considers sending them in to take on Buu in case Goku and Vegeta can’t get the job done.   

And that’s a big deal, because it even comes up in the anime.   King Kai tells them that he arranged for them to keep their bodies as a precaution, but he’s totally in favor of letting them remain on the Grand Kai Planet with all of the other honored warriors, like Goku.  So you start with this desert bandit, a highwayman without a highway, probably because he’s afraid of all the women that use the interstate.   But he gradually overcomes his fears and insecurities, never completely, but just enough to put one foot in front of the other and become a better man.    And finally he ends up receiving a place among the great heroes of old.  

So why doesn’t that get more attention?   You could make a whole epic story out of that, except it’s not Yamcha’s story.  He’s a supporting character.   So the franchise itself tends to play it down.    Even Yamcha doesn’t really take it all that seriously.   I don’t know if that’s modesty or cluelessness or Big Himbo Energy or what, but that’s why it’s so easy for everyone to write him off as a loser or a failure.   They’re overlooking the bigger picture.

The best way to illustrate this is with this TFS short that serves as an epilogue to their DBZ Abridged series.   Yamcha goes back to playing baseball for the Taitans, only to get fired, because he’s so talented that he’s literally broken the game, and no one buys tickets anymore.    But he gets a gigantic severance package, and he still goes down in history as the greatest ballplayer in history.  What always gets to me is that they have to explain to him that this is actually a win.  As his coach puts it, “you do nothing but win.”   

Like Yamcha himself, we often see him from the lens of these insane Dragon Ball adventures, where you have to have glowy hair and a hot cyborg wife to be considered a success.   But to the rest of the world, he’s a jacked up millionaire with fantastic hair, and he’s a real sweetheart.   Who couldn’t like this dude?

Why I don’t: As you may have noticed, I tend to only use this section to talk about why I disliked the characters initially.   I have to think back to 1999 when I was still having trouble keeping track of who’s who.   In particular, I found Yamcha’s presence frustrating because he looked and dressed almost exactly like Goku, but not quite, which seemed bizarre.    Later, I picked up on the context, and it didn’t bother me as much.  

Yamcha does have a bit of an overconfident streak in some situations, which might look like unfounded arrogance, but I think it’s really just his carefree nature and enthusiastic can-do spirit.   He was confident about their chances against the Saiyans, but I don’t think that was him being cocky.   He just knew they had all trained hard and he was stronger than he’d ever been.    But that’s easy for people to jump on as a reason to hate the guy.  

Future Trunks claimed that he fooled around while he was involved with Bulma, but come on.    Does anyone really buy that?    Besides, at best, that would only apply to Future Yamcha, the one who died in the other timeline.   Once Trunks changed the past, all bets were off.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): I’m gonna get a little nuts here and go with TFS’s playthrough of Legacy of Goku I, where they decided to level up Yamcha and have him solo Broly.

Basically, in an RPG game like this, Wolf Fang Fist can do monster damage, so they maxed out Yamcha’s stats to wreck the game’s hidden superboss.  You have to skip to 1:40:00 or so to see the successful attempt, but I loved this video.   This is where I learned to respect the utterance of “Roga... fufuken!”  Broly probably would have respected it, too, except he died from all those hits he took.

Favorite season/movie: You know, that fight with Tien was a classic.   Not sure it’s in my top ten, but it’s on a lot of people’s lists, and I absolutely get that.

Dumb as it may sound, I enjoyed seeing Yamcha in the hospital, wrestling with his own despair as he recuperated from his broken leg.   And when he shows up at the end to congratulate Tien and accepts Tien’s apology, well, like I said, Yamcha has this great character arc, but it’s easy to overlook with everything else that goes on.

Favorite line: I forget which game it was in, maybe Budokai 3, but one of his pre-fight taunts is “Watch this, Puar!  I’m gonna win!”, which always makes me think of Puar sitting just off-camera, watching the action from a little lawn chair.  

Favorite outfit:

I may take some heat for this, but I like the Androids/Cell Saga version of Yamcha, with the short, spiky hair.  This dude’s long, luxurious rockstar ‘do is a national treasure, sure, but I dig this look more.  

Also, I consider Yamcha to be the only guy from the Turtle School who pulls off the slippers and no-blue-undershirt look.   It looks off when I see it on Krillin and Goku, but with Yamcha it just feels right. 

OTP: This guy gets shipped with a lot of people, probably because he’s one of the major characters without an established love interest.   Folks still carry a torch for Bulma, some people ship him with Tien, Frieza hit on him in FighterZ, and I’m still trying to make sense of that.   He flirts with your character in the Xenoverse games.    Years ago, I considered doing something with that, but I’ve fleshed out my OC enough to where I don’t think that fits. 

At the end of the day, I can only see Yamcha getting together with @cozymochi ‘s OC, Marzi.  

Brotp: Tien, Krillin, Goku.  Hell, I always figured Yamcha was one of the few people Vegeta could get along with to some extent.  

I mean, Tien couldn’t stand to be one the same planet as Vegeta, but Yamcha keeps coming over to have hot dogs at Bulma’s place, long after the Namekians have left.  

Head Canon: He’s Luffa’s type, don’t get me wrong.    I just don’t see any room in my fic for a whirlwind courtship.    The stars just don’t align.

Unpopular opinion: I’m not really behind this notion that they should give the humans more stuff to do in future series.   When it comes to supporting characters, sometimes they get phased out, and there’s no point in phasing them back in unless there’s a compelling story idea for them.   

I think it’s dumb how they teased Yamcha in the Tournament of Power prelude, only to leave him out of the tournament itself.    On the other hand, they put Tien on the team and barely used him, which tells me that even if they’d put Yamcha on the team, it wouldn’t have amounted to anything.   

I get it, people love these characters and want to see them used more, but I’d rather have one strong Yamcha story than a hundred non-starters.  And at this point, I think the only thing anyone can do is rely on fan-created content.    Be the change you want to see in the world.

A wish: Crap, it’s after ten pm.    I dunno, I wish Marzi was canon.  

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I feel like the character’s already been through worse than I could come up with for him.   

5 words to best describe them: Cat loves food, yeah yeah yeah.   That’s six, but who cares?

My nickname for them: Yeah, I don’t have one.

[monchikyun]

V. thanks for the memories

Gavin hates graveyards. He would rather jump into the freezing river than walk among rotting corpses buried under his feet. It brings back memories he keeps hidden away from himself, makes him feel like he’s twenty again.

Yet somehow he’s standing by the partially open gate, about to venture inside and do whatever his inscrutable partner has in mind. He could have said no without much repercussion, could go without torturing himself like this, but Connor asked him so eagerly and it would kill him to deny the android his one request. They normally don’t call each other outside of work, so it came a bit as a (pleasant) shock when his phone rang this afternoon and the display showed the one name that made him nervous.

Connor rarely ever wants anything, and when he does, it’s almost always about Gavin. He doesn’t know whether to feel flattered or terrified by that, so he goes with what is the most natural to him - letting his emotions run amok while he tries to act like they don’t exist at all. 

It never works.

The plastic menace has probably been aware of his feelings before he had the chance to realise it himself. And the hand-holding several days ago only served as solid evidence proving he can’t keep his feelings to himself no matter how much he’d like to try.  

They haven’t talked much since then, which is likely for the best. Though he has been getting a bit lonely.

It’s the time of year when everything Christmas is being forcibly showed up his throat and into his brain and he needs someone to dilute that lurid chaos he’s been thrown into. But no one ever does, and he has no choice but to drown his festered sorrows in alcohol and dream about waking up with someone by his side because only then his brain allows him some unrestrained self-indulgence. He’s not afraid to admit that he’s jealous of people who have families to enjoy the holidays with, but dreads the meaning behind that ugly emotion.

He just wants to…

 “Good evening, detective.”

“Jesus phck, Connor, I told you to stop doing that!” He’d make a perfect assassin with how silently he can sneak up on people, not that Gavin would ever tell him.

His eyes automatically wander to Connor’s face and…there’s something off about him. Like a part of him has gone missing. He studies every detail of him while forgetting to feel self-conscious, not finding the anomaly for the longest time until it hits him.

Connor looks more human than ever, and not only because he doesn’t have the glowy thing on him anymore.

The android touches his bare temple like he’s making sure it’s still gone and looks straight into him.

“I wanted to free myself from what it represents,” he answers Gavin’s unspoken question.

Then he has the audacity to smile at him like he’s glad to see him.

“It suits you.”

Gavin wants to bury his face in the person who’s caused it to go red for a myriad of reasons, but mainly because he feels the need to hide his unsubduable honesty.

-

They walk side by side in silence, only the snow is willing to let itself be heard with its satisfying crunching sounds. Gavin’s hand is twitching for contact, because he thinks he knows the reason they’re here and doesn’t want to go through watching Connor be taken away by his pain again.  He’s seen him cry on multiple occasions and every time he wished he could be enough to make the tears disappear. It hurts to see Connor like that, to imagine how many breakdowns he’s missed by not being there.

He’s almost convinced himself to get over himself and reach for him when Connor stops.

They must be there already. Gavin’s managed to block out the graves around them by mentally fussing over Connor’s frame of mind so he spared himself the unneeded dose of pain, but having to read the lieutenant’s name carved into a block of stone never ceases to squeeze his heart in the most unpleasant way possible. It’s not like he had any affections for the man, … secret admirations, more like. In any case, he never wanted to see him being put in the ground, not this soon. He didn’t even have the chance to apologise to him.

And now he’s the one tearing up, great. 

Beside him, Connor reaches for something inside his pocket and holds it in the palm of his hand. It glows a subtle blue, making him immediately recognise the object without having to take a closer look. Gavin is mesmerised by the reverent movement Connor does as he’s placing the LED ring next to a vase full of fresh flowers with the utmost care, lingering a bit before he starts speaking.

“There’s.. there’s something I never told you before. Not here, anyway.” Gavin can hear how he fights against himself to stay composed, but he lets him get this out of his chest before he thinks of safe ways to comfort his friend.

Connor takes a deep breath, probably for a different reason than he does.

“Thank you. Thank you for everything you did for me, for being there when I needed you the most.” In the end, the tears are stronger than the android and he seems to accept their presence without much resistance anymore.

“Thank you for all the priceless memories you gave me.”

And Gavin feels like crying too.

But Connor lays his head face front in Gavin’s shoulder, wetting his leather jacket with whatever substance comes out of his eyes.

“Is that why you asked me to tag along, so you can use me a shoulder to cry on?”

He intends to lighten up the sombre atmosphere just a little bit by what he calls “humour”, which absolutely backfires when he feels Connor move his head in confirmation, because his instantaneous reaction is putting his arms around that sad heap of an android and soothing him by rubbing his cold hands up and down his back.

“Ok,” he whispers since there is nothing more he can do.

Connor’s body is strangely warm, so much so it’s making him forget they’re standing in the middle of a snow-covered cemetery and lets him lose himself in the moment.

They separate after an exceptionally short minute or two, the cold seeping back into his human body, which makes him crave the closeness. 

Connor has finally stopped crying and decided to torment him with yet another smile. A grateful one, he assumes prior to giving it right back.

Before they set to depart, he crouches down in front of the tombstone and says his own version of things he should put out there while he still can.

“I’m sorry… for being an asshole to you. It wasn’t fair of me.” He has more stuff he wishes to tell, for instance how he’ll look after Connor for him, but he figures it would be best to leave it for another time. God knows he’s seen enough tears for one day.

There’s no one in sight on their way back to the parking lot, and so he dares and connects their hands together, lest he freezes to death - or that’s how he justifies it to himself.  An action that gets rewarded by a small “thank you” reserved just for him.

@a-convin-new-year

[divine-motion]

don’t fucking interact if you ship t/cest and minor/adult ships

more shitty phone photos of sketchbook sketches for my tmnt fan incarnation/tmnt 2012 rewrite bc i have no shame and i’m having fun with it! pictures should have captions since i spent time writing them out, but tumblr might mess it up, so in case captions doesn’t work: 1. left to right: leo, donatello up, raphael down, michelangelo 2. Casey Jones up top, April O’Neil to the right, donatello in the middle and karai at the bottom 3. casey and don again, raphael to the left, mikey at the bottom just bc i liked how their their expressions turned out and didn’t want a bunch of negative space so don and case appear again 4. size chart featuring turtles. left to right: leo, don, mikey, raph 5. sketchy Slash design. big boy.

general thoughts character stuff below the Keep Reading. A Lot of rambling below so beware!!

April: 15 years old, trans and bi. local fifteen year old telepath finds out that not everyone is able to feel what other people are feeling, something she’s been able to do since she was six after she played in that one weirdly glowy puddle (early Kraang mutagen attempt that only managed to mutate April in the sense that it gave her telepathy, was originally intended to make humans become part of the Kraang hivemind). she’s largely unfazed by the existence of mutants and aliens, taking it in stride, and finds out about the Kraang - and meets the turtles - while snooping around TCRI business (aspiring journalist that she is) and accidentally witnessing the mutation of Snakeweed. her telepathy, which later as she grows in power alongside the turtles extends to telekinesis and basically possession, is very useful whenever she gets into a scrap since she can predict what moves her opponent will make, thus letting her dodge their blows effectively. personality wise she is a very determined and driven young girl, incredibly curious (and cannot mind her own business, she wants to know all the drama while not having to be part of it... which makes her very fortunate to be a telepath. listen she’s 15 she’s allowed to misuse her powers a little bit. as a treat.), playful, and cheerful, and she’s an extroverted autistic. in her spare time between her studies, she likes to play bass, sing, read, and write. that, and investigating whatever shady business is going on in town, and she makes it very clear to the turtles that even if they weren’t going to deal with the Kraang, she’d continue to try to stop them herself. she would like to not live under the threat of her or her loved ones getting mutated, thank you very much! and, you know, it’s kind of exciting. kind of.

i know it’s bc i have brain issues when it comes to parent figures but i am very much leaning towards Splinter not being... a good dad. i don’t think 2012 Splinter is a good dad anyways but i’d probably amp it up, make him a mix of 2012 and idw probably. i’m still mulling it over but like, remember in the season 1 finale when leo is watching his show and thinks the captain guy making a totally unnecessary sacrifice is a heroic move, and then Splinter tells leo (his fifteen year old child) that leo should know what or who to sacrifice, more or less telling him to sacrifice his brothers’ lives, potentially?? i know there was a lot at stake but hello??? i remember watching it and being like me: ah i see, this is showing that splinter is wrong and there is no need for any sacrifices as seen in the show when the captain Goes Down With His Ship for no reason other than just sacrificing himself, and leo will see that- leo: *tries to sacrifice himself twice in the finale, both times being kind of unnecessary/seemed like if he had just hurried or done something slightly different there would be no need to stay behind, and he gets out fine with no consequences, seemingly no injuries, and does Not learn anything, his brothers don’t even get sad when they think he died or get mad at him for pulling such a dumb move) me: surprised_pikachu.jpeg

like that moment haunts me. has any other splinter told their sons to sacrifice himself or his brothers? has any other splinter put that on them??? idw doesn’t count if he has bc he’s more explicitly supposed to be bad so???

sometimes writers think they’ve made an uncle iroh but they really, really, really haven’t. also his backstory is the same as in the show

anyways. Donatello: 15 years old, bog turtle, nonbinary (he/they, doesn’t mind being called brother but doesn’t like to be called “boy” or “girl” or whatever), bi. he isn’t in love with April. no creepy incel shit here. donnie is instead more like a mix between his Rise and 2003 self. he has trouble expressing himself and is pretty introverted, but he is very altruistic, kind, and compassionate. a lot of his inventions are made to help people and he was driven to learn about science and engineering because he wants to find a way to reverse splinter’s mutation, to give splinter his life and humanity back. he feels like he needs to know if splinter would just abandon them if he wasn’t a huge rat man, needs to know if there’s any part of splinter that blames them for being constant reminders of his mutation. other than that, he also likes to make inventions because he’s a dreamer and wants to experiment to see how much of the unknown he can push beyond. also, the best liar out of the turtles. also fairly good at compromising and prefers to solve conflicts without violence he can get a little... “obnoxious 15 year old genius” at times. even when he’s helpful it can come off as a bit “poor dear isn’t as smart as me”, and while he usually gets along well with Raph, he doesn’t handle Raph’s temper well at all (calls him “Wrathael/Wrath” and thinks he’s being super clever) and gets really dismissive of Raph’s “outbursts”.

Michelangelo: 13 years old, diamondback terrapin, unsure about the gender and sexuality thing but he doesn’t think he’s exactly cis and definitely not straight. a bouncy ball of sunshine and surprising emotional maturity and emotional intelligence! more so than his emotionally constipated brothers, at least. it’s on his thirteenth birthday (it was leo’s idea for them to pick dates that would let them have their own birthdays instead of sharing the “Mutation Day”, Mutation Day being another special “holiday”) that the Plot would be set in motion, as he’s finally allowed to go to the surface same as his brothers, and on this first night out they meet April and the Kraang and other mutants. he is a goof still, but he’s capable in his own right and gets frustrated when people treat him like a baby or an idiot because he’s not. he doesn’t always treat everything with the seriousness it should but like. he’s thirteen, he’s having fun. even so, he’s very insistent of taking responsibility whenever he does do something wrong and gets mad if someone tries to take the blame for something he’s done. definitely the most compassionate and empathetic out of the turtles, he’s quick to make friends and is very persuasive due to his earnest nature and good heart. much like donnie, he prefers to solve conflict without violence but does enjoy knocking skulls a lot more than donnie. unlike donnie, though, he is almost overly forgiving and not petty at all. he’s well aware that his kindness and forgiveness may be taken advantage of, but he still likes to approach people with an open hand, even if he knows that it may end up getting bitten. oh, and his hobbies include drawing, cooking, singing, and dancing. he likes to express himself!

Raphael: 14 years old, mississippi map turtle, trans, bi. all his fury is compressed within his tiny body, that’s why he’s so angry all the time! no, he’s not angry all the time, but he does have a short fuse. he absolutely hates his anger issues which leads to a lot of self-loathing, and a lot of frustration as his family members either don’t take his anger seriously or don’t have the tools to help him with it. he’s the physically strongest out of the bunch and the least agile. he loves animals and plants a lot and keeps a lot of flowers in his room, hoping that he can one day become a gardener. as his idw self, he wants to watch things grow, but no matter what he does he seems to be best at destroying things. he’s also the one most self-conscious about how the human world perceives them, as he greatly fears rejection, and is the first one to see something positive with people getting mutated - namely, that maybe this way mutants will be more well known and finally accepted by society, so he’ll no longer be trapped in the sewer until the end of his days. so yeah, he’s a huge optimist, in truth. also he’s great at knitting - great at creating and taking care of things in general - and there’s no leo and raph rivalry this time around. he can get mad at leo but not really more than he gets with his other brothers.

Casey: 15 years old, nonbinary (they/them), bi. teen vigilante who gets inspired to fight mutants and the big time criminals (no beating up pickpockets or shoplifters or whatever, just the ones that are really hurting people) and gets roped into the turtle fam after meeting raph and becoming unexpected friends (everyone was expecting it, once Casey realized that mutants are people and not weird monsters. well, not all the time, anyways). they struggle a bit in school not because of a lack of trying but a lack of time, as their parents work full time jobs and someone has to take care of casey’s little sister. their parents are very loving, but they only have so much time, so casey takes it upon themselves to take care of their little sister when their parents are busy and/or burned out from work. that, and they run into the classic dilemma of vigilante work clashing with school work. as always, they have a short fuse, they’re pretty cocky, they like beating ass, and they like hockey a whole lot. hockey, vigilante work, school, and taking care of their little sister... yeah, they have a lot on their plate. oh, and making their little inventions like the taser glove and their puck bombs, something that they bond with donnie over.

Leonardo: 17 years old, Central American wood turtle, trans, gay. he doesn’t fall in love with his sister oh my god. ahem. so, leo is raised from the start to be a Leader and has to mature very quickly, learning to be an adult way earlier than he should’ve, and as such he is very stoic and quiet, and doesn’t seem to have any hobbies, instead just doing chores and training almost constantly, and when he’s not doing that he’s reading or sleeping in his free time. he’s incredibly protective of his younger brothers and his other allies/friends, even if he acts distant and detached most of the time, and removes himself from situations where they’re having fun to not be the stick in the mud. he loves his brothers and admires them greatly, believing they could be So Much if the surface world would just accept them, and as a result he tries to be The Soldier so his brothers won’t have to. alas, they still get caught up in the Kraang and Shredder business, which frustrates him internally. he is the best fighter out of the turtles on account of having more years to train (and convincing Splinter to wait a few more years before they got Real training bc Come On Dude They’re Kids) but it’s the Only thing he’s good at, along with stealth and his sharp eyes. he absolutely sucks at talking when it isn’t about a mission or something he can script easily in his head. in his mind, he’s supposed to be more of a weapon than a person, an idea that isn’t exactly encouraged by Splinter... but not exactly discouraged either. his arc would be very paralleled with Karai’s, as they would both learn to hate their dads... also, absolutely down for murder, and a lawful neutral at best, putting his family and friends’ safety above all other things and following a strict personal code. doesn’t care too much for society’s laws, though.

Karai: 16 years old, demigirl, lesbian. same backstory as in the show, she’s born as Miwa but gets taken by Oroku Saki and raised as his daughter. however, she doesn’t exactly want revenge against Hamato Yoshi because she believes that he killed her mother. she never knew her mother, so it’s much more difficult to hate someone for taking her mother away, even if it does mean that she never got to know her mother. especially since her father rarely spoke of what her mother was like, and much more about how much he hates Yoshi. instead, her need for revenge is more for the possibly idyllic life she was robbed of, since she believes that maybe, just maybe, her father Saki would’ve been a kind father that would’ve let her have a normal childhood and not be molded into a warrior from the start if her mother still lived. and hey, maybe Tang Shen would be a nice mom too. being trained in the art of deception, Karai has a tendency to talk a lot and say very little, or at least very little that is true. she is rarely ever sincere and acts as if she’s taking nothing seriously, which is part of her defense mechanism to never let anyone close or see her true self. she mocks pretty much everyone, ally and enemy alike, but especially likes to make fun of her father’s henchmen and is always the first to point out their failures. while she does value honor to some extent, she is a bit “flimsy” when it comes to loyalty, especially after the truth about her father is revealed. when that is revealed, she at first just feels very numb, learning that not only has she been nothing but a tool and a weapon for the Shredder from the very start, but also that the idyllic fantasy where her mother still lived, perhaps her life wouldn’t be so different after all. she looks at leonardo and sees a reflection of herself, that her “real” father chose to train his sons the same way the Shredder trained her. she feels stupid for feeling like she’s been robbed of even a fantasy, but it still enrages her. of course, this also inspires her to stay with the Foot Clan... just to get the kill on Shredder.

... yeah. that got long. ahem. i’m very passionate about this unfortunately!! anyways i might draw/write more for it because no one can stop me and i’m having fun

[missjanjie]

These Words are My Own (From My Heart) | Crygi

Title: These Words are My Own (From My Heart) Summary:   Gigi brings a journal with her to the Drag Race set, intending to keep it as a way to express her thoughts during the competition and quell her anxiety. Instead, it becomes the narration of a love story that unfolded behind the scenes. Word Count: 2415 Relationship(s): Crygi (Crystal Methyd/Gigi Goode) Rating: M Notes: This is a diary/journal-style fic, so it’s written from Gigi’s POV throughout

read on ao3

July 22nd 2019

I don’t know what I expected from the first day of filming, but it was… a lot. The two group thing puts on that extra level of pressure, and I can already feel a little sliver of anxiety trying to wiggle its way in. Not that I’d ever let it show, of course. It’s way too early to worry.

As far as the other girls… I actually like them all, which, let’s be honest, is the biggest shock of them all. I almost kind of wanted an enemy. But I think I might have found the opposite. Crystal.

Crystal is weird. She’s so fucking weird, but she’s funny and kind and smells really nice and is super cute out of drag. I don’t know where I’m going with this. We just had an instant connection, and I think it’ll be a nice thing to have in a situation like this.

July 25th 2019

Holy shit. The first episode is done. I’m so fucking tired. And I fucking crushed it, oh my god. I didn’t expect anything less, of course. This is a sign for how the competition’s gonna be for me, I just know it.

But anyways.

Crystal told a joke during dinner that made me shoot water out of my nose. Nicky called me a sprinkler for the rest of the night, so fuck her. Besides, Crystal said it was cute. I know, I’m sounding like I have a crush on her, but I don’t. I just appreciate being around her, we get along well. So let me reiterate: I do not have a crush on Crystal.

July 26th 2019

I have a crush on Crystal.

They’re filming the other premiere today and we had some time to sneak away. I don’t know who she got weed from, but I owe them my life. We shared a joint and whenever she had it I just… stared at her. I don’t know how to explain it – she looked all glowy in the sunlight. Her hair – that fucking mullet – looked so soft and shiny, she looked like art.

I hate her. I want to hold her dumb hand and kiss her stupid face.

July 29th 2019

Crystal has a boyfriend. Of course she has a fucking boyfriend. Why wouldn’t she? There’s probably like, six other gay guys in Springfield and I bet they all want her. This is why I don’t do crushes. Crushes are bullshit. This is bullshit.

But… she held my hand in the van today. That was nice.

Fuck.

July 30th 2019

I kinda avoided Crystal on set today. I felt bad but it just made me sad and that’s not something I’m gonna deal with. I think Jackie suspects something’s up though. Her mama bear senses are tingling, I just know it. I thought it’d be annoying, but it’s nice having someone older and wiser keeping an eye on me.

Oh my god, Jackie’s my babysitter. Maybe I should talk to her about Crystal. I feel like she’d listen. She’ll probably try too hard to help, like it’s a puzzle that she needs to solve, but if I have to tell someone, it’d be her. And maybe it’ll make me miss Crystal a little less.

July 31st 2019

I was wrong, Jackie’s not my babysitter, she’s my mom. Not in a bad way, because obviously my mom’s the best, but in that she got very invested in the Crystal situation in the same way my mom always likes to hear about whatever guy I’m dating.

The good news is that Crystal’s relationship is open. I mean, that is good news, right? It feels like it should be, and my heart wants to latch onto the fact that I could have her in some capacity. Having her in any capacity almost feels like it’d be enough, at least for now.

She asked me if something was wrong, said I seemed ‘distant’. What was I supposed to do, tell her the truth? That’s ridiculous. I just apologized and said I was dealing with migraines. She offered to smoke me out next time she gets her hands on anything. And I know I’m not gonna be able to say no to her, there’s no point in even trying.

August 5th 2019

I think Crystal knows I like her. The energy between us has shifted and it… feels kinda good. She’s more touchy, more giggly. I think she even flirted with me today. I don’t know if she figured it out on her own, or if Jackie told her, but she’s onto me.

The thing is, I don’t know what to do about it. Yes, she’s in an open relationship, so it’s ‘technically’ okay, but it’s not the same. I don’t have anything against it, but… I don’t know, maybe I’m just selfish and want Crystal all to myself.

I feel guilty, then I feel stupid for feeling guilty, because I know I don’t need to be. Make it make sense.

August 6th 2019

If Jackie tells me one more time that I ‘need to talk to Crystal about my feelings’, I’m gonna blow up her spot about all those not-so-platonic gazes she keeps directing at a certain singing queen. She thinks I haven’t noticed, but she’s not subtle either. I wouldn’t do it on camera, though. That’d get too messy.

Besides, I don’t even know where to begin when it comes to explaining how I feel anyway. I don’t like explaining myself and I don’t like all that ‘bare your soul’ type of emotional intimacy. All I know is that I want Crystal in every way you can want someone. But that doesn’t seem like enough to say. Like, if I’m gonna spill my guts, I’d have to go all out. And I don’t want to do that. So. I’m gonna stay quiet and wait for this to blow over, like a normal person.

August 9th 2019

Crystal kissed me.

We were in the back of the van. I was talking about… I don’t even remember what I was talking about, but out of nowhere, she just kisses me, like it was normal, like it was the easiest thing in the world. It was soft, gentle, but with this little hint of desire that still has me hot under the collar.

And I didn’t know what to say. What the fuck was I supposed to say? I asked, “what was that for?” And she just smiled and said “you look really pretty and I wanted to.”

I wish I could’ve said something smart and funny, or flirt and bat my lashes. But no, that’s Gigi’s confidence and attitude. This was all Sam, an idiot whose brain short-circuited after one kiss. “Oh, thanks,” was all I said and I’m gonna be kicking myself for it until I’m dead. And right now, I’m hoping that’s soon.

August 12th 2019

I kissed Crystal this time. I needed to gain some semblance of control here. She seemed surprised, but also kind of relieved. Had she been worried I was mad or freaked out? Funny enough, her being relieved made me feel relieved too. I think we’re on the same page now. I don’t know what this means for us now, but I feel like it means something.

August 13th 2019

The good news is I’ve got Jackie off my back for now. The bad news is it’s because her girlfriend is probably planning my murder. I mean, at the end of the day, a win is a win. But the bruise I had on my ass for a week is a poignant reminder that Jan was a jock who could snap me in half if she wanted to.

Which is also weirdly hot? I can see why Jackie’s ‘secretly’ pining for her and shit. Or maybe I’m getting too lonely and need to get Crystal’s mouth on me again. Not even in a dirty way, though that mental image sure is nice…

August 14th 2019

Maybe I thought about that mental image too much, because I had a sex dream about Crystal last night, like, a hot one.

We were in the werkroom, the only ones in there, and Crystal’s sitting up on one of the tables, I’m standing in between his legs and we’re making out. Then it’s kinda blurry, but next, we’re both naked and I have him bent over the table. And I can remember pulling his hair and listening to him moan while I fuck him. It felt real, and I haven’t had a wet dream since high school.

I just hope it doesn’t affect me when I get on set, I can’t afford to lose focus because I’m too busy thinking about jumping Crystal’s bones.

August 19th 2019

So… I guess in a way, I manifested more physical intimacy between Crystal and I. I was telling him how I was all stressed and wound up after not doing well in the last challenge, and that I don’t think I did well with this one, and he’s quiet for a moment, then goes “let me help you feel better.”

And I’m just like, okay? I didn’t know what to expect, but then he takes his jacket off and puts it over my lap and… I’m perplexed. I’m intrigued. I’m aroused. Even when he’s undoing my jeans, I’m thinking, ‘there’s no way he’s actually gonna do this, right?�� But the only person that keeps an eye on us in the van is Jackie, and he’s got his own problems to worry about.

Long story short, Crystal jerked me off in the back of the van. It was hotter than I thought it’d be – I guess having to stay quiet because four other queens and a PA could’ve caught us adds an extra thrill. Of course, I would’ve returned the favor if we’d had time. Next time, though. Next time.

August 21st 2019

‘Next time’ did happen, and it came back to bite me on the ass. I didn’t think people really had Freudian slips until the way I said “we’re fucking in the top six” in Untucked. It didn’t help that Crystal had this smirky grin. Ugh, I could’ve died.

I feel like everyone knows, honestly. That they’re just not saying anything to be polite. I’m sure once this is all over, I’ll never hear the end of it, though.

August 24th 2019

I think I’m in love with Crystal. I knew I loved her, admired her, but… it’s more than that. And I think I’ve known for a while, but I haven’t been able to articulate it. Because it feels so different from anything I’ve ever felt before. Crystal is so different from anyone I’ve ever met before.

I don’t know what this means for us when this is all over. It’s not like I expect her to leave her boyfriend and move in with me here in LA. But I wouldn’t say no to that either, you know? Right now I feel selfish, that I just want her all to myself. But maybe I’m just sad that come Monday, it’ll be the last chunk of time we’ll have together for a while.

It’s barely been over a month and I already can’t picture my world without her. And… yeah, I’m in love with her.

August 29th 2019

Crystal and I had one day together before he had to go back home, and we made the most of it. We did the cute shit like go out to eat and take a walk, but I also got to take him back to my apartment and fuck him like I wanted to since day one.

I don’t know what this means for us, now. He’s back in Missouri, getting ready for the next Get Dusted show. I’m here, still in full drag after a photoshoot. I guess this is ‘back to normal’, but I don’t know how anything is ever going to feel normal again.

October 18th 2019

Filming Drag Race feels worlds away now, it’s weird being too busy to write most of the time. But by the same hand, it’s nice to always be occupied, lord knows I need it.

I still talk to Crystal every day, either through text or calls or FaceTime. It’s nice to be reassured he thinks of me as much as I think of him. When I’m alone, I start to worry that maybe this was one-sided. But I don’t need to say that to him, he can tell when I feel weird and talks me down without even trying.

The thing is, I’ve always felt the most beautiful when I am Gigi, like it’s the best representation of who I am. But Crystal makes me feel beautiful even when I just woke up and he’s listening to me complain about greasy skin. I didn’t really think about something like that, about letting someone else make me feel the way I thought I could only do for myself.

Crystal is just that special.

November 2nd 2019

Crystal told me he’s in love with me for the first time. I knew, I think I knew, but I didn’t realize how much it would mean to finally hear it. I cried, and I couldn’t even be embarrassed about it.

What was funny to me was when Crystal apologized. He said he’d known for so long, and felt guilty that he kept waiting to say it. He told me he didn’t think he could give me what he wanted because he wants to stay in Missouri. I told him I don’t care how far apart we are, or who he was with.

We have something special. I don’t care what it is, we’ll make it work. And besides, the promo shoot is just two months away.

January 4th 2020

I can’t even begin to explain how good it feels to be back with the cast. Obviously I’m thrilled to see Crystal, but all of us together just makes me feel whole. Jackie asked me how things with Crystal are, I said they couldn’t be better. I asked how things with Jan are, she said there are ‘a lot of question marks’.

Compared to them, my relationship with Crystal really isn’t that complicated. We love each other, we don’t need to put a label on that. I don’t know what’s going to happen when the show airs, but I know I’ll have Crystal. Even when we’re sixteen hundred miles apart.

[artificialqueens]

These Words are My Own (From My Heart) (Crygi) - Joley

ao3 link

July 22nd 2019

I don’t know what I expected from the first day of filming, but it was… a lot. The two group thing puts on that extra level of pressure, and I can already feel a little sliver of anxiety trying to wiggle its way in. Not that I’d ever let it show, of course. It’s way too early to worry.

As far as the other girls… I actually like them all, which, let’s be honest, is the biggest shock of them all. I almost kind of wanted an enemy. But I think I might have found the opposite. Crystal.

Crystal is weird. She’s so fucking weird, but she’s funny and kind and smells really nice and is super cute out of drag. I don’t know where I’m going with this. We just had an instant connection, and I think it’ll be a nice thing to have in a situation like this.

July 25th 2019

Holy shit. The first episode is done. I’m so fucking tired. And I fucking crushed it, oh my god. I didn’t expect anything less, of course. This is a sign for how the competition’s gonna be for me, I just know it.

But anyways.

Crystal told a joke during dinner that made me shoot water out of my nose. Nicky called me a sprinkler for the rest of the night, so fuck her. Besides, Crystal said it was cute. I know, I’m sounding like I have a crush on her, but I don’t. I just appreciate being around her, we get along well. So let me reiterate: I do not have a crush on Crystal.

July 26th 2019

I have a crush on Crystal.

They’re filming the other premiere today and we had some time to sneak away. I don’t know who she got weed from, but I owe them my life. We shared a joint and whenever she had it I just… stared at her. I don’t know how to explain it – she looked all glowy in the sunlight. Her hair – that fucking mullet – looked so soft and shiny, she looked like art.

I hate her. I want to hold her dumb hand and kiss her stupid face.

July 29th 2019

Crystal has a boyfriend. Of course she has a fucking boyfriend. Why wouldn’t she? There’s probably like, six other gay guys in Springfield and I bet they all want her. This is why I don’t do crushes. Crushes are bullshit. This is bullshit.

But… she held my hand in the van today. That was nice.

Fuck.

July 30th 2019

I kinda avoided Crystal on set today. I felt bad but it just made me sad and that’s not something I’m gonna deal with. I think Jackie suspects something’s up though. Her mama bear senses are tingling, I just know it. I thought it’d be annoying, but it’s nice having someone older and wiser keeping an eye on me.

Oh my god, Jackie’s my babysitter. Maybe I should talk to her about Crystal. I feel like she’d listen. She’ll probably try too hard to help, like it’s a puzzle that she needs to solve, but if I have to tell someone, it’d be her. And maybe it’ll make me miss Crystal a little less.

July 31st 2019

I was wrong, Jackie’s not my babysitter, she’s my mom. Not in a bad way, because obviously my mom’s the best, but in that she got very invested in the Crystal situation in the same way my mom always likes to hear about whatever guy I’m dating.

The good news is that Crystal’s relationship is open. I mean, that is good news, right? It feels like it should be, and my heart wants to latch onto the fact that I could have her in some capacity. Having her in any capacity almost feels like it’d be enough, at least for now.

She asked me if something was wrong, said I seemed ‘distant’. What was I supposed to do, tell her the truth? That’s ridiculous. I just apologized and said I was dealing with migraines. She offered to smoke me out next time she gets her hands on anything. And I know I’m not gonna be able to say no to her, there’s no point in even trying.

August 5th 2019

I think Crystal knows I like her. The energy between us has shifted and it… feels kinda good. She’s more touchy, more giggly. I think she even flirted with me today. I don’t know if she figured it out on her own, or if Jackie told her, but she’s onto me.

The thing is, I don’t know what to do about it. Yes, she’s in an open relationship, so it’s ‘technically’ okay, but it’s not the same. I don’t have anything against it, but… I don’t know, maybe I’m just selfish and want Crystal all to myself.

I feel guilty, then I feel stupid for feeling guilty, because I know I don’t need to be. Make it make sense.

August 6th 2019

If Jackie tells me one more time that I ‘need to talk to Crystal about my feelings’, I’m gonna blow up her spot about all those not-so-platonic gazes she keeps directing at a certain singing queen. She thinks I haven’t noticed, but she’s not subtle either. I wouldn’t do it on camera, though. That’d get too messy.

Besides, I don’t even know where to begin when it comes to explaining how I feel anyway. I don’t like explaining myself and I don’t like all that ‘bare your soul’ type of emotional intimacy. All I know is that I want Crystal in every way you can want someone. But that doesn’t seem like enough to say. Like, if I’m gonna spill my guts, I’d have to go all out. And I don’t want to do that. So. I’m gonna stay quiet and wait for this to blow over, like a normal person.

August 9th 2019

Crystal kissed me.

We were in the back of the van. I was talking about… I don’t even remember what I was talking about, but out of nowhere, she just kisses me, like it was normal, like it was the easiest thing in the world. It was soft, gentle, but with this little hint of desire that still has me hot under the collar.

And I didn’t know what to say. What the fuck was I supposed to say? I asked, “what was that for?” And she just smiled and said “you look really pretty and I wanted to.”

I wish I could’ve said something smart and funny, or flirt and bat my lashes. But no, that’s Gigi’s confidence and attitude. This was all Sam, an idiot whose brain short-circuited after one kiss. “Oh, thanks,” was all I said and I’m gonna be kicking myself for it until I’m dead. And right now, I’m hoping that’s soon.

August 12th 2019

I kissed Crystal this time. I needed to gain some semblance of control here. She seemed surprised, but also kind of relieved. Had she been worried I was mad or freaked out? Funny enough, her being relieved made me feel relieved too. I think we’re on the same page now. I don’t know what this means for us now, but I feel like it means something.

August 13th 2019

The good news is I’ve got Jackie off my back for now. The bad news is it’s because her girlfriend is probably planning my murder. I mean, at the end of the day, a win is a win. But the bruise I had on my ass for a week is a poignant reminder that Jan was a jock who could snap me in half if she wanted to.

Which is also weirdly hot? I can see why Jackie’s ‘secretly’ pining for her and shit. Or maybe I’m getting too lonely and need to get Crystal’s mouth on me again. Not even in a dirty way, though that mental image sure is nice…

August 14th 2019

Maybe I thought about that mental image too much, because I had a sex dream about Crystal last night, like, a hot one.

We were in the werkroom, the only ones in there, and Crystal’s sitting up on one of the tables, I’m standing in between his legs and we’re making out. Then it’s kinda blurry, but next, we’re both naked and I have him bent over the table. And I can remember pulling his hair and listening to him moan while I fuck him. It felt real, and I haven’t had a wet dream since high school.

I just hope it doesn’t affect me when I get on set, I can’t afford to lose focus because I’m too busy thinking about jumping Crystal’s bones.

August 19th 2019

So… I guess in a way, I manifested more physical intimacy between Crystal and I. I was telling him how I was all stressed and wound up after not doing well in the last challenge, and that I don’t think I did well with this one, and he’s quiet for a moment, then goes “let me help you feel better.”

And I’m just like, okay? I didn’t know what to expect, but then he takes his jacket off and puts it over my lap and… I’m perplexed. I’m intrigued. I’m aroused. Even when he’s undoing my jeans, I’m thinking, ‘there’s no way he’s actually gonna do this, right?’ But the only person that keeps an eye on us in the van is Jackie, and he’s got his own problems to worry about.

Long story short, Crystal jerked me off in the back of the van. It was hotter than I thought it’d be – I guess having to stay quiet because four other queens and a PA could’ve caught us adds an extra thrill. Of course, I would’ve returned the favor if we’d had time. Next time, though. Next time.

August 21st 2019

‘Next time’ did happen, and it came back to bite me on the ass. I didn’t think people really had Freudian slips until the way I said “we’re fucking in the top six” in Untucked. It didn’t help that Crystal had this smirky grin. Ugh, I could’ve died.

I feel like everyone knows, honestly. That they’re just not saying anything to be polite. I’m sure once this is all over, I’ll never hear the end of it, though.

August 24th 2019

I think I’m in love with Crystal. I knew I loved her, admired her, but… it’s more than that. And I think I’ve known for a while, but I haven’t been able to articulate it. Because it feels so different from anything I’ve ever felt before. Crystal is so different from anyone I’ve ever met before.

I don’t know what this means for us when this is all over. It’s not like I expect her to leave her boyfriend and move in with me here in LA. But I wouldn’t say no to that either, you know? Right now I feel selfish, that I just want her all to myself. But maybe I’m just sad that come Monday, it’ll be the last chunk of time we’ll have together for a while.

It’s barely been over a month and I already can’t picture my world without her. And… yeah, I’m in love with her.

August 29th 2019

Crystal and I had one day together before he had to go back home, and we made the most of it. We did the cute shit like go out to eat and take a walk, but I also got to take him back to my apartment and fuck him like I wanted to since day one.

I don’t know what this means for us, now. He’s back in Missouri, getting ready for the next Get Dusted show. I’m here, still in full drag after a photoshoot. I guess this is ‘back to normal’, but I don’t know how anything is ever going to feel normal again.

October 18th 2019

Filming Drag Race feels worlds away now, it’s weird being too busy to write most of the time. But by the same hand, it’s nice to always be occupied, lord knows I need it.

I still talk to Crystal every day, either through text or calls or FaceTime. It’s nice to be reassured he thinks of me as much as I think of him. When I’m alone, I start to worry that maybe this was one-sided. But I don’t need to say that to him, he can tell when I feel weird and talks me down without even trying.

The thing is, I’ve always felt the most beautiful when I am Gigi, like it’s the best representation of who I am. But Crystal makes me feel beautiful even when I just woke up and he’s listening to me complain about greasy skin. I didn’t really think about something like that, about letting someone else make me feel the way I thought I could only do for myself.

Crystal is just that special.

November 2nd 2019

Crystal told me he’s in love with me for the first time. I knew, I think I knew, but I didn’t realize how much it would mean to finally hear it. I cried, and I couldn’t even be embarrassed about it.

What was funny to me was when Crystal apologized. He said he’d known for so long, and felt guilty that he kept waiting to say it. He told me he didn’t think he could give me what he wanted because he wants to stay in Missouri. I told him I don’t care how far apart we are, or who he was with.

We have something special. I don’t care what it is, we’ll make it work. And besides, the promo shoot is just two months away.

January 4th 2020

I can’t even begin to explain how good it feels to be back with the cast. Obviously I’m thrilled to see Crystal, but all of us together just makes me feel whole. Jackie asked me how things with Crystal are, I said they couldn’t be better. I asked how things with Jan are, she said there are ‘a lot of question marks’.

Compared to them, my relationship with Crystal really isn’t that complicated. We love each other, we don’t need to put a label on that. I don’t know what’s going to happen when the show airs, but I know I’ll have Crystal. Even when we’re sixteen hundred miles apart.