#I should have ironed it before taking pictures but I’m just excited to have the sewing done | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

oncasette · 1 year ago

Text

knock, when you’ve got the time

WHEN HE SEES ME I — neighbor!jamie tartt x fem!reader

summary: 4.7k.

you were less than excited to go on this blind date, far less, due to the fact that it'd been sprung on you out of the blue by your best friend. at least, that is, until you get on said date, and realize that the guy is everything you’ve been looking for. he’s sweet, he’s funny, he listens when you talk. but, he’s far more experienced than you, which is where your neighbor comes into the picture.

content: i’m american so the dialogue might be awkward at points, jamie lives in an apartment-style complex rather than the house he’s renting in the show, takes place in season 2 post reality show, pre-richmond

main masterlist | series masterlist | taglist

You feel like your chest is going to explode.

“You did what now, Keels?” you manage to gasp out.

“It’s just a date, babes,” she says.

“A blind one!”

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” she pauses to sip her tea. “I wouldn’t have set the whole thing up if I didn’t think he was a good match for you.”

It wasn’t that you didn’t trust her; god, you’re ninety-percent sure you trust her with your life, it’s just that

“I haven’t seen you date anyone since…”

“Martin.”

She rolls her eyes, “Martin.”

“He wasn’t so bad…” you trail off, voice picking up an octave as the sentence droned out of you.

“He was a douchebag, babes. Grade-A. And, anyways, you need to get back out there. You’re super-fucking-smoking-hot. There’s no reason you should be cooped up all alone in this flat of yours. At least, if I have anything to say about it,” she says.

“What if I don’t want… to go on this date?” you ask. And in your head, you think it sounds like an entirely valid question to ask. Warranted, even. It’s a short lived thought when Keeley shoots you a look of fire and death.

“So not an option, babes.”

Your head drops, forehead thumping against the wood of your kitchen table.

“He’s super hot… He’s funny…” she trails off.

“Keeley, I haven’t just been single since Martin,” you say, muffled, face smushed into the countertop until she places a hand on the side of your head to tilt it just enough to allow you to breathe through your nose fully. “I haven’t gone on anything even resembling a date since Martin. I’m totally out of my wheelhouse, here.”

“Oh, lovey, it’s gonna be alright,” the hand previously on your face falls to rub circles on your back. “I’ll help you get ready, I’ll walk you to the bar. I will even sit with you until he shows up, if that’s something you like.”

“But-”

“No, buts! C’mon, you need this! It’ll be amazing and fabulous and fantastic, and if it’s shit you can tell me all about how you told me so after, while we eat a pint of ice cream and watch some shitty, unrealistic romance films at my place,” she says. She stands, abruptly, nearly tugging you up from your own chair in her midst.

“What?”

“Let’s go. Bedroom,” she urges, only stalling to gauge the bewildered look on your face. “Did I forget to mention that your date is this evening?”

“Like, when this evening?”

“Seven?” she scrunches her nose as she checks the clock on her phone.

“It’s five!” you gape at her as she drags you to your closet of helpless, unsuspecting clothes.

The rush of it all saves you from harping on too many of your nerves. Keeley’s sitting on the lid of your toilet telling you all about the guy she’s setting you up with as you shower, she’s tossing every semi-decent outfit you’ve got into a heap on your bed for the two of you to rifle through, and she’s sitting behind you with a curling iron as you do your makeup on the floor like you were in secondary school again.

She nearly burns you while you’re putting on your mascara. It’s a miracle the wand didn’t go straight into your eye.

By the time you were ready–actually ready, too, and not the “ready” you’d tried to pull past Keeley four times before that–your body felt like it’d been through the ringer. You were primped, polished, curled, exfoliated. You had on heels that, while, thankfully, you could walk in, you hadn’t worn in years and a dress that showed off more leg than you would’ve chosen for a first date.

“Do I have to go?” you ask for what feels like the hundredth time. She rolls her eyes, shoving her thumb into your hip as she zips up the back of the dress.

“Yes.”

“But-“

“You are going on this date and you are going to have fun and that’s all I’m gonna hear about it.” It felt like you were arguing with your mother about a toy at the shop.

“Right, you look stunning,” she says as angels the two of you towards the body-length mirror in the corner of your bedroom. She stands behind you, arms linked around your waist.

“Thank you,” you whisper. Her lips press into the dimple of your exposed shoulder.

“You are going to be the kick-ass, sexy, bombshell bitch I know you are, and you are gonna charm the pants off this bloke.”

“Yeah?” You tuck your bottom lip between your teeth for a second, allowing it to pop back out with minimal damage to your lipstick when Keeley playfully taps you on the hip.

“Yeah,” she hums, pulling her body away from her hold on you. “Come on, then. We should get going.”

It’s a short walk to the bar she’s picked out, one the two of you have frequented plenty over the last year or so of your friendship. It was one of the quieter joints, even on weekends. Kept just enough patrons to keep the doors open, but was slow enough that you could hear yourself think.

Keeley sets the two of you up at the bar after scanning the joint, sure that you’ve arrived before your still-unnamed date, before signaling over the bartender to order a round.

“For the jitters,” she says as she grabs the glasses off the counter and hands yours to you. You nod at her, downing nearly half of the gin and tonic in one go.

“Fucking hell. Feel like I’m gonna shit myself, Keels,” you say, clearing the lump from your throat as Keeley chokes on the drink in her own hand. You can’t tell if it's a laugh or a cough or something in between, but once she’s gathered herself and wiped the martini off the counter, she’s facing you with a concerned look.

“Right, look, I get you’re nervous, but what’s up? I’ve never seen you like this,” she says. You’re thankful the fabric of your dress is dark enough to mask sweat as you rub your palm across your thigh.

“It’s just– I don’t know,” you exhale. You swirl your drink around with the tiny black straw you’d initially ignored in the glass.

“Sounds like you do know. So, out with it,” she says.

“What if he’s…” you trail off. Your throat conjures up another lump just for the hell of it. “What if he’s…”

“Out with it, babes,” Keeley urges. She places her martini glass on the counter before swiveling on the barstool to give you her full attention.

“You know, like,” you swallow. “What if he chews with his mouth open or is constantly on his phone all night. Or, or what if he’s chatting with other girls just, like, right in front of me? Because Martin used to pull that shit all the time when we were in situations like this, and-”

You’re cut off by Keeley.

“You’re totally overthinking this.”

“I know.” An exhale. “I know, I know. I’m not even really that freaked about all of that if I’m being honest.” It all spills out of you like word vomit. Each sentence inching up your throat, hot and sour like the taste of bile as you spill your fears out. What if he’s the sweetest guy you’ve ever met, what if he’s a kiddy doctor, or some other profession that’ll just send your ovaries into overdrive, what if he’s-

“God, what if he’s fucking perfect?” you groan.

Keeley doesn’t elect to respond, instead dropping her hands from where they’d been resting on your knees and standing. This draws your attention. You look at her first, shorter than she’d just been when she’d been on the elevated barstool, then turning your gaze towards where hers seemed to be. Past you. At the door.

“Grayson!” she squeaks. She half-jogs over to the door, pulling the very tall man into a swift hug that he reciprocates with vigor.

What if he’s got eyes so dreamy you’re sure to get lost in them at some point tonight. Holy hell.

Keeley turns back to you, dragging Grayson over the few feet that separate you from the door, and, consequently, him, before she introduces the two of you.

“Lovely to meet you,” he says just as you’re stumbling out of your seat to greet him properly.

Your shoulders lean forward as you perch on the toes of your feet. You’re completely unsure of yourself. If he was going to go in for a hug, you’re sure he would’ve done so already, even a handshake. You’re half expecting him to swing into Keeley’s previously occupied stool when he clears your brain’s rambling with a kiss pressed to the apple of your cheek.

“Good to meet you, too?” you squeak out, steadying yourself with what you later realize is a hand on his chest. A hand you pull back probably too quickly seconds later, smoothing out the bottom of your dress. It only takes a second for his fingers to graze your wrist, for him to pull your hand back up to shake it in a real greeting. He takes it in his, hesitantly, at first, and you swear you feel a shock transfer between your fingers. You even think your shoulders jump, but your brain is so fuzzy, just from the proximity, you couldn’t be certain.

“I don’t know if you’ve ever been here before, but there’s this drink-”

You’re already moving to pull away when he uses your conjoined hands to gently tug you into him, effectively punctuating your statement with an oomph.

“There’s a nice table near the back if you want to head somewhere more… private,” he says. His breath fans across the side of your face, lips inches away from the shell of your ear as a shiver trickles down your spine. He knows your favorite bar like the back of his hand.

You faintly hear Keeley say, “Guess I’ll leave you both to it, then.” And you have half a mind to wave or say goodbye or even check and see if she left the bar, but you can’t when all of your focus has been siphoned to the man in front of you. She could’ve lingered and gaped at you for the rest of the night and you likely wouldn’t have noticed.

He leads you the short distance to the back of the bar from behind you, hand lingering on the small of your back in a way that just barely brushes against you. Enough to know it's there, that he’s guiding you, but not enough to truly feel him.

You’re nearly vibrating when you reach the secluded standing table. Your drink is still in your hand, quarter full and sloshing as your knuckles wrap around the glass.

The conversation fizzles as you try to spark it. Your mouth opens and closes with the start of various sentences dying at the end of your tongue as your brain attempts to put pen to paper and get anything out.

“Have you known Keeley long?” he asks after a couple more failed attempts, tossing a lifesaver out to sea.

“A year, nearly,” you smile at him.

“Yeah?” he nods, tipping back the beer you definitely don’t remember him ordering. God, you were really losing it.

Humming out an affirmation, you ask him, “What about you? Childhood besties?”

“No, no,” he snickers. “Though I’m sure that would’ve been interesting, I met her at this bar actually? A couple weeks back.”

You’re not sure if you feel betrayed Keeley came to your spot without you or grateful that she’d been able to conjure the man in front of you in the time you’d spent apart.

“She spilled her drink down my shirt and somehow, in the span of the few minutes we’d spoken, had convinced me to come on this date,” he leans forward as he speaks, weight resting on his elbows. “Telling me all about how pretty her friend was. And I have to say… she undersold you.”

Your face heats under his gaze. “Is that so?”

“Who would I be to lie to a beautiful girl like you?” he asks. You have to clear your throat to gather yourself.

“Not too bad yourself,” you admit.

“Thank you,” he nods. “Wouldn’t want you to be too out of my league, huh?”

You shake your head and you hate how dopey your smile comes out. It's like you’re caught in a lovesick daydream just watching yourself talk to this guy. You’re quick to change the subject.

“So, what is it that you do for a living, Mr. Lee,” you drag the straw of your drink into your mouth. If only just to have something to do with your tongue, something to focus on anything other than the veins running up the backs of his hands and the way his adam’s apple bobs when he talks.

“You’re pot on with the whole Mr. Lee thing, actually,” he chuckles.

You quirk your head to the side in question.

“Teacher,” he says.

“Teacher.” You raise your brows at him. Not Professor. Works with kids.

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing. You’re just a lot hotter than any of the teachers I had growing up,” you say, and your heart stops beating for a minute as it gauges his reaction. That last part definitely wasn’t meant to come out. It was supposed to be said at negative twelve volume in the deepest, darkest crevice of your brain so that you couldn’t even hear it. When he laughs, though, you feel the muscle regulate itself, skipping a beat or two until it's back in its usual sync. “And what is it that you teach?”

“History.”

“So you could tell me all about the Great War if I asked?” you ask.

“No,” Grayson chuckles. “I actually teach local history. Mostly Richmond, some greater England.”

“Sounds fascinating,” you say, even though you’re more than sure if you’d been forced to sit through one of his classes you’d hang onto every last word. With claws. And a harpoon gun.

“It can be,” he shrugs. “It wasn’t my first choice, anyway. I had wanted to teach something less British. But it was hard enough to find a gig close to home in the age range I was qualified to teach and in the end I just wound up cutting my losses.”

“And counting your blessings,” you say.

“And counting my blessings,” he repeats.

The conversation starts to flow easier after that. He asks all the right questions at all the right times, he pauses and laughs and migrates closer to you across the table until your–no longer white–knuckles are gently brushing against each other. He tells you about his sister, about his childhood dog, his obsession with trivia games.

“You’re kidding,” you’d gasped, nearly knocking your second drink–one you’d been too busy giggling to guzzle–right over the side of the table.

“Tuesdays are my favorite night of the week,” he says as he gestures to the chalkboard pinned to the back wall of the bar outlining the events posted for that week. Tuesday night trivia was a mainstay.

He lets you go on and on about the movie you’d watched last night, about how many times you’d seen Dirty Dancing and How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. He asks follow up questions about Patrick Swayze and Matthew McConaughey, about why everyone had called her baby in the first place and why Kate Hudson quit her job at the end of the movie. He even goes as far as to say, “You’ll have to show them to me sometime.”

It’s just when the nerves are finally wearing down that a girl appears at your table. And with your newest distraction, you move to check your phone. Your clock blinks back at you with a new message from Keeley you don’t check. It’d been two hours since you’d shown up at the bar. Your shoulders feel sore, suddenly allowed to bear the weight of the hour.

“Jeanette,” you hear Grayson say. His tone is tight, a harsh contrast to the gentle timber you’d gotten used to over the course of the evening. His lips have drawn themselves into a thin line as he shoots you a sympathetic look.

“You never called me back, you know. I left you a message,” she says as she curls her neatly manicured hands over his bicep.

“Thirteen, if I remember correctly,” he says.

“Same difference.” She shakes her head in a way that pushes her curls back to fall over her shoulder.

He uses the hand not caught in her grip to gesture towards you, introducing you to the platinum blonde before continuing, “You’re sort of interrupting our date.”

Pulling back, she looks embarrassed. Shockingly. It’s like she’s just now seeing you despite the permanent place you’d held at the table for the entirety of her visit.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it, Gray,” she says, and as she moves to pull away from your conversation, she puts a hand over the side of her face to not-discreetly whisper “He does wonders with his tongue” with an even less discreet wink.

You hear yourself say “That was interesting” just as Grayson spills out “I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry?” you question. “It’s fine, really.”

“You shouldn’t have to deal with that,” he sighs.

“What, does it happen to you a lot?” you ask, and you honestly mean it as a means to break the uncomfortable, meeting his former–or not-former, you truly didn’t know him that well, now that you were thinking about it–hook-up.

“You’d be surprised,” he groans, and he has the gall to look less than cocky about it. Cocky you could handle. Confident, even.

“Try me.” You absolutely, positively did not want to be tried.

“Look,” he starts, saying your name softly. “I wasn’t going to veer anywhere near this topic tonight because I didn’t want you to feel like I was trying to steer the conversation towards sex. I’ve been around the block, sure, but when–and if–we ever hit that… subject, I want it to be for us. I would want it to be whenever you were ready for it all to happen.”

Nodding, you swallow. Oh yeah, he’d “been around the block” alright. Who would ever lie about this like that.

“I’m good with that,” you smile at him. A smile he, thankfully, is quick to reciprocate, dropping his hand to cover yours where it rests on the table.

“Good.”

Your eyes start to feel fuzzy before either of you have called the evening to a close. Static builds up in your tear ducts and a numbness creeps up, licking at the back of your skull.

This was insane, you were insane. This was not the kind of information you cried over. You manage to pull yourself together to end the evening with a smile, putting your number in his phone with a smiley face at the butt of it, and allow him to kiss you on the cheek at the door of the pub before you split off in different directions.

He’d offered to walk you home, nearly begged, but you’d assured him you’d be fine to walk the block and a half back to your flat. Besides, you ease yourself, you never invite a bloke back to your place on the first date. Wouldn’t want to give Richmond’s newest serial killer prime information on your whereabouts.

How were you meant to work with this? It wasn’t that you were a virgin, or anything. You’d had sex. Once. When you were still a teenager with your so-called boyfriend at the time who’d dumped you the very next day. You hadn’t even finished, unsurprisingly. It had been embarrassing for you at the time, how you’d done your best to convince yourself that some girls just don’t cum from sex.

You reach your flat before you realize it. The key in your hand shakes in time with your fingers and you manage to put your back to the door before your knees give out beneath you. Every part of you felt weak, unsupportive. Overwhelmed.

Honestly, you weren’t even mad that he’d been around. With a face like that, it’d be a wonder–and a red flag–if he hadn’t. It’s just that you’re so… inexperienced. Women your age should know their body, should know how to use it. The only aspect of sexuality that you’re familiar with is the vibrator stuffed in your sock drawer. And even that was a gift from Keely.

You bring your hand up to wipe your face, attempting to look somewhat presentable to the public as your neighbor sweeps past you to unlock his door. The back of it comes back sticky with snot. Your neighbor’s stride stutters, back foot planted to the floor for a hair too long just before he’s spinning on his heel to face you.

“Are you alright?” His hands are stuffed into the joint pocket of his jumper.

“Fine,” you hiccup as you bring your knees up to rest against your chest.

He frees his hand from the pocket only to stick it out in your direction. “Jamie Tartt.”

“I know who you are,” you scoff, nearly choking on the giggle that bubbles up with it. “Think everyone with a telly knows who you are. Or, like… a phone.”

His hand lingers in the air for a second, twitching towards you until it resigns itself back into the pocket.

“Did you wanna talk about it, maybe? I make a mean cuppa,” he gestures back at the foot behind him that leads to his front door.

It’s the longest conversation you’d had with the footballer. Usually you’re given little more than a nod and a shut door as he lets another girl into his flat or brings his groceries in. Though, now that you’re really thinking about it, the former had dwindled significantly in recent months.

Either way, you shake your head. “Wouldn’t want to intrude,” you sniffle.

“No, no,” he assures you, going as far as to take that step closer to you. His hand extends out to you again. “I insist.”

You manage to stand on your feeble legs, following Jamie into his flat with your own keys still in hand.

“How long you been sittin’ out there?”

“Not long,” you hum, clearing your throat in the process. He grumbles out something you don’t have the heart to ask him to repeat as he moves around his kitchen. His hair is longer than you remember it being during the last match you’d caught at your parents’ house and the dark locks fall over his eyes as he puts the kettle on the eye. Then again, that Man City game hadn’t been the last time you’d seen him.

“You wanna tell me what’s wrong?” he asks.

You don’t have the energy to be coy.

“I don’t know how to fuck,” you say. Jamie’s hand twitches as he puts your cup down in front of you.

“Sorry?” he coughs.

“This guy I went on a date with earlier,” you say. “While we were out, he got stopped by this girl he’d been seeing and she made a comment about how incredible his tongue game is and then suddenly we’re talking about how many people he’s had sex with.”

By the time you finish that sentence you’re gasping for air and Jamie is looking at you expectantly.

“No offense, but why would that matter?” he asks.

“I haven’t had sex since I was eighteen? I have no idea what I’m doing, you know?”

“Oh, no, I wouldn’t know. I’m very experienced, actually.” he raises his eyebrows at you as he says it, making the comment seem less like he was bragging and more that he was… easing your nerves about the whole ordeal. You’re not sure if it’s totally working for you or not, but you manage to maintain eye contact as you bring the cup up to your lips.

“I’m sure being a premier league footballer heartily prepares you for this kind of thing,” you say, sipping.

“I mean, yeah, but I was kinda referencing something else,” he says and you decide it's best for your own sanity to play dumb in this case. You know, not let him know you’d seen him fuck his way through his short run on Lust Conquers All.

“And that is…” “You didn’t see me show?”

“I don’t watch reality TV,” you lie. Of course you’d seen his run. Everyone had seen his run. Even if it has been through a mix of very flattering and very unflattering gifs on Twitter.

“How d’ya know it was reality TV?” he asks with a cocked brow.

“Hunch,” you shrug. You sniffle as you hold your cup in your lap, both palms held tight to the warm porcelain.

You watch him meander around his kitchen, feeling somewhat comforted by the fact that its a mirror of your own, as he mulls over the information you’ve given him. It wasn’t like you were expecting him to do anything with it. You hadn’t expected to tell anyone about it, if you were being frank, but Jamie had caught you at a fairly vulnerable moment outside your door.

“I think I’ve got an idea,” he declares.

“Proceed.”

“I could help you with your little problem. Ya know. With my expertise,” he says.

“Such a fancy word for a footballer,” you say with a bite.

“Right hilarious,” he clears his throat. “Anyway, back to my idea.”

“Your idea… about teaching me how to have sex?” you ask, nearly incredulous at this point.

“No, not how to have sex,” he starts. “Just…” “How to have sex,” you finish.

“Look, right, you said it yourself. You lack experience,” he shrugs. “I can help with that.”

“So, what are you wanting me to do? Drop my dress to the floor and beg you to fuck me? You don’t even know me,” you say, not even totally sure yourself where the hostility is coming from.

He shakes his head, placing both hands flat against his kitchen island to face you fully.

“We could get to know each other. I’m just throwing ideas out there. It doesn’t have to be today, or tomorrow, or fucking ever, really, but if you decide you want me to help you with your little… predicament, all you have to do is knock on me door, yeah?”

Swallowing, you bring your eyes up to make eye contact with him. What the fuck was going on? In the span of, what, six hours, you’d been thrown into a blind date with a guy ripped straight from your dreams, discovered said dream-guy was overwhelmingly into you, discovered same said dream-guy had slept with half of Richmond and some of Wales, and had your neighbor proposition himself to you after finding you sobbing outside your front door? Were you in an episode of The Twilight Zone?

You look down at your cup before bringing it up to down the small amount of liquid left within it in one gulp.

“Predicament is another fancy word. You’re on a roll,” you say after you’ve swallowed down the amber liquid. You make a move to stand, arranging your keys in your hand so that the key that opens your front door is pinched between your thumb and your index finger.

“I’m smarter than you think.” He follows close behind you, opening the front door for you to step out into the hallway.

“Should’ve told your showrunners that,” you say, facing him for a second before you’re pushing the key into the lock and opening your own flat.

“So you have seen the show,” he says.

“Goodnight, Jamie Tartt,” you reply. You hear a muffled goodnight through your door seconds after you’ve clicked it shut.

As you drop your belongings in their designated spots and kick your shoes off by the door, you bring yourself to look at your notifications.

Keeley MF Jones

Hope you’re having fun!!!! Text me when you’re home and safe xxx

A new message rolls in just as you bring your finger across the screen to unlock it.

Keeley MF Jones

I’ll take it that my lack of response means that the night ended well ;)

Love you, babes! Stay safe!!

I want all the details tomorrow!!

Pausing, your fingers dance an inch above the keyboard before finally typing out a phrase. She doesn’t need to know everything.

My lips are sealed.

#jamie tartt #jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt series #phil dunster #phil dunster x reader #ted lasso #ted lasso series

316 notes · View notes

beesspacedotorg · 8 months ago

Note

hai bee so i know i did an ask the other day that was similar like jisung x desperate reader, both being desperate and whatnot buuuuut i want to know ur opinion onnnn minho with a very desperate reader 😔🩷🙏

hihi. Sorry this sat for so long. I was busy being mentaly ill and stuff. Uh. If this is mid. No it's not. I rewrote this twenty times and I have about 10 different versions of this in google docs.

this isn't very long, but I put it below the cut for flavor and spice. uh. degradation. spanking? idk.

The two of you are supposed to be watching a movie.You don’t remember the name or the plot or who the lead actor is, all you do remember is that Minho sent you a picture of himself in these sinful gray sweats while he was at dance practice and you spent a good thirty minutes staring at it and drooling. The picture wasn’t even meant to be anything, he put on a stupid ass filter and was making a dumbass face but all you could see was his dick.

He’s wearing a different, clean, pair of gray sweats now, and all you can see is his dick. He taps your leg and you jump a clean 20 feet into the air.

“What the fuck was that for?!” “Jagiya,” he’s pouting at you like the baby he is, “you’re not even watching the movie. Weren’t you excited for it?” You were. But that’s in the past, currently, you’re excited for nothing but your boy’s dick. Your eyes aren’t subtle in their ogling, but unlike you, Minho was watching the movie, so it takes him a second to realize, and when he does, you can feel the smirk he aims at you even though your eyes are locked on his lower half.

“I see.” He puts his finger under your chin to tilt your head up. “Do you want something else?” You nod at him, mouth watering at the thought. He pats his lap and you move to straddle him before being adjusted.

“This isn’t-”

“Hmm? It isn’t what? Did you not want this?” He has you straddling his thigh, and you know he’s feeling particularly mean because he just laughs at your pout.

“I wanted your dick, Minho. Wanted you to fill me up.”

“And I wanted to finish this movie. I guess neither of us are gonna get what we want, jagi.” You whine at him, lip jutting forward in a move that’s only ever halfway effective, and it seems today is no different because he lands a quick swat to your ass with the command to move, and you do, because if you don’t you’re not getting anything.

He adjusts himself slightly so you have a better angle when you grind down on his thigh, but it’s not what you wanted and you can feel yourself getting more and more frustrated with each pass.

“Minho, please.”

“Please what?”

“I want your cock, please, I’ve been good.” He hums at you.

“Have you?” Your breath catches in your throat. “It seems to me that you’re a needy slut who can’t wait for a goddamned movie to finish before jumping my bones.”

“That’s not-”

“Isn’t it?” His voice is mean when he says it, and if you couldn’t see the stain he was making on his sweatpants, you would believe he’s actually unaffected. “What’s the main character’s name then, jagi? Tell me and you’ll get my cock.”

“Minho! That’s not fair, I want- I want-” He mocks you, repeating your words in a high pitched voice.

“It’s not fair? What’s not fair is me coming home from a long, long day, and you wanting me to fuck you. I’m tired, jagi.” He pouts at you, but when your knee accidentally grazes his cock he has to choke back a moan.

“I’ll ride you. I’ll- I’ll do the work. Minho, please.” Your eyes well with tears and through your blurry vision you can see him roll his eyes.

“Will you? Or will you get tired halfway through and force me to take over?”

“I won’t! I won’t!”

“I don’t believe you.” You let out a short wail, hands hitting his chest in your frustration and suddenly he has your hips in an iron grip, stopping you from moving at all.

“Wait, that was an accident, I didn’t-” Your protests fall on deaf ears because you’re being flipped onto your stomach over his knee and a hand is cracking down sharp on your ass.

“You should learn to be grateful for what I give you instead of being a desperate whore.”

#bee blurbs #ft.lino #junie: my discord gf #lee minho x reader #lee know x reader #lee know hard thoughts #lee know smut #in:box

135 notes · View notes

jeannereames · 28 days ago

Note

Should we (not) read old history books?

And by old I mean academic works from maybe the 1960s onwards. Of course I understand what you always say about dated opinions, advances on historiography & archeology. And I don't dispute in any way, shape or form that we should always read the most recent work.

But is the old academic work really that disposable? Don't we have anything to learn with history books from the 80s, 90s, 2000s? Thanks for your attention.

The problem isn’t so much that they’re old, but that—if you’re entering an area of history about which you might not know much—older books can have pitfalls that newer ones don’t. This is hardly to say, just because something is recent, it’s good. Far from it. But my caution on older books was specifically in response to the query about reading pop history, and how to know what to trust.

So that’s the caveat. In that same post, I mentioned that I still regularly recommend Brian Bosworth’s Conquest and Empire from 1988. It’s a great fast summary and he tackles several important themes in part II. I also often recommend Gene Borza’s In the Shadow of Olympus (1991). Until Sabine published her book on Perdikkas, his chapter on Perdikkas there was the best thing in print (and still is in English).

Of course, to me, the 80s aren’t old books. Ha. When I think “old” books, I’m thinking 1950s and earlier. Part of that owes to the fact some very important ideological changes happened in history as a discipline in the 1960s and 1970s.

Yet one issue with older books—even good ones—involves new evidence. The asker alludes to that. Unfortunately, one must already know something about a field to discern what information in an older book is outdated. So, let’s take Gene’s In the Shadow as an example. Two very important changes in evidence have happened since that book came out. First, the matter of language (and thus ethnicity) of the ancient Macedonians. Gene argues that we don’t know what language the ancient Macedonians spoke, in large part because we just don’t have enough of it to judge. He suggests it might not be Greek (which was how he leaned at the time). That was all true…in 1990. But we do now have enough epigraphical evidence to say the ancient Macedonians spoke a form of Doric Greek (and Attic for court business). That means they were Greeks, however “backwards” politically/culturally, to the Greek mind.*

Similarly, none of us knew then what was about to come out of the ground at Archontiko in the early 2000s. Even what we’d seen at Aigai and Sindos didn’t make it clear how astonishing the Archaic Age was, up there. All these recent discoveries have changed what we think we know about Argead Macedonia before Philip and Alexander. Gene hinted at some of it in his assertion that, from Archelaos to Philip, Macedon went through a slump, and Philip brought it back. It didn’t just emerge from the swamps with Philip (as Demosthenes and other ancient writers would have one believe). So, Gene was already on the leading curve, but in 1990, none of us had seen enough yet. I remember sending him pictures from Archontiko near the end of his life, and he was very excited, commenting how it would change our ideas about Archaic Era Macedon.

So, if you read his book (and I hope you do), a lot of what’s in there is still solid material, 30 years later. But a few things are dated. And now you know two things that are…because I told you.

But if you didn’t have me to tell you, how would you know?

Ergo my caution. If you’re entering a field that’s new to you, start with later articles and work your way backwards. Ironically, that’s how I got into Macedonian history…reading arguments in the footnotes of articles, especially between the “Three Bs” (Badian, Borza, and Bosworth), plus Green, Heckel, Carney, Anson, Adams, and Greenwalt. Before I ever knew those guys, I was reading their citations of—and commentary about—each other. From that, I was able to render my own ideas of what I trusted, and didn’t trust, about Alexander, Philip, and Macedonia.

And that brings me to my final point. YES, reading earlier articles and books is very important when you really get into a field, precisely for the HISTORIOGRAPHY. In this case, not ancient, but modern. How did a field develop over time? To grok where Alexander studies are today, one must know a bit about where they began, with the heroizing of Droysen, Tarn, et al. in the late 1800s and pre-war era, down to Badian blowing it all up post-war in the late 1950s and the revolution of the ‘60s and ‘70s with Badian, Green, Bosworth, and Schachermeyer and their revisionist view of ATG. About the same time, we get the rise of Macedonian Studies apart from Alexander and Philip, under Edson, Dell, Hammond, and their students. And it all peaked really with the discovery of the Royal Tombs at Vergina when Macedonian archaeology both married and divorced (at the same time) Macedonian history. It’s really hard to express how radically ATG and Macedonian studies changed in the 1980s and ‘90s. Then is changed again in the early 2000s when everybody got tired of debating Who’s Buried in Philip’s Tomb and Macedonian ethnicty. Archaeology turned up new treasures but passed mostly into Greek hands (and was written in modern Greek) while historians started looking more closely at literary trends and Romanization overlay. More recently yet, (some) archaeology is coming back into English, and a wider awareness, welding to new literary approaches to ATG and Macedonian history. And don’t forget the important publication of Brill’s New Jacoby, making a huge contribution to source criticism! Where are we headed next? Time will tell!

So yes, reading older texts helps one situate where we are now relative to where we were then, and back then, and even before back then.

That said, if you’re brand new to reading about Alexander the Great, PLEASE please don’t pick up either Droysen or Tarn’s history of Alexander and think it’s anything close to accurate.

We’ve come a long way, baby.

———————-

* If you’ve read my Dancing with the Lion, you know that I tried to flip that, looking at Greece from the north and giving the Macedonian view of Greeks. So I want to emphasize that each side viewed the other was “lesser.” I’m not advocating, above, the Greek view as correct.

#asks #more on history books #modern historiography #are older history books valid?#Alexander the Great #historiography of Alexander the Great #what pitfalls older books have #Classics #ancient history

12 notes · View notes

sinofwriting · 2 years ago

Text

They'll Have Me - Ethan Payne (Part Three)

Words: 1,260 Summary: Alice has her fourteen-week scan and has a slight breakdown due to a mean comment from a nurse.

Part One Part Two

Alice grips Ethan’s hand tight as her doctor moves the doppler along her abdomen. This was her first ultrasound using a doppler and the sensation of it moving across her skin was odd, but she definitely preferred it this way.

“The baby looks healthy, no deformities that I can see.” She smiles at the younger girl before returning her eyes to screen, squinting as she moves the doppler again. The baby was being stubborn, trying to hide, she didn’t want to let Alice out of her office today without an actual due date and the sound of the heartbeat. “There’s a few tests I’d like to do, just some simple bloodwork.” She reassures. “I want to make sure that you are also doing okay along with the baby.” “What kind of tests?” The young man standing next to Alice asks. She sends a reassuring smile. “Just standard tests. I want to check her iron, blood sugar, along with a few other things that I’d try to explain but It’d sound a bit like gibberish. Nothing that I don’t require for all my patients.”

Rotating the doppler, she smiles as she gets a very clear view of the baby. “Alright. You are definitely fourteen weeks along, which means that you should be due” she rotates it again, “February ninth. But babies have their own schedule, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you went into labor anywhere after the first to a few days after the ninth.” She takes a breath, “Okay. February ninth.” The doctor smiles, “now for my favorite part. Would you like to hear the heartbeat?” “Please.” She nods, before turning the knob that controls the sound and it fills the room.

Tears immediately start to form in Alice’s eyes, she wants to cup her stomach, to hold her baby as best as she can right now at the sound of their heartbeat. “Does it sound healthy?” She asks, sniffling. “It’s very strong.” A sigh of relief, leaves her and her grip on Ethan’s hand finally loosens, but he doesn’t let her hand go.

“There will be a copy of your ultrasound with the receptionist, unless you want more.” “Yes, please.” Ethan says. “I know I want one, and I’m sure mum will as well.” “Four please.” Alice requests, and the doctor nods. “Can do. Now, I’m going to a nurse to take your blood. I will see you at your twenty week scan, unless something in your bloodwork comes back that I need to talk to you about.” “Alright, thank you.” “Of course.” She smiles, before leaving the room.

“You doing alright, Fe?” Ethan asks, tearing her eyes away from where the doctor had been. She nods, giving him the best smile she can. “Just overwhelmed.” He squeezes her hand, but doesn’t say anything as the door opens and a nurse enters.

“Hello. I’m Jaine. I’ll just be taking your blood.” She greets them both with a smile. Ethan gives her another squeeze before moving, not wanting to be in the way. “It’s always nice to see the father coming to appointments. Are you excited?” The nurse as she starts getting the vials ready. “He’s not the father.” Alice interrupts, sending an sorry smile to Ethan, who waves her off. He’d be stupid to think that people wouldn’t assume that he was the dad. The nurse's smile disappears. “Oh. I see.”

Alice watches as she cleans the inside of her arm, stomach clenching at the unease in the room. “Could he not make it?” The words are polite but fill her with more dread. “He’s not in the picture.” The nurse scoffs before she can stop herself. Shaking her head, before starting to draw her blood.

Alice keeps her eyes on her lap, feeling tears in her eyes, but not wanting to cry, not in front of this nurse, or Ethan. Her arms wrapped themselves around her as soon as the cotton had been stuck to where the needle was inserted.

“I pray that the child will come out okay with only a mother.” The nurse says, before leaving the room and the last remark makes the tears fall from her eyes.

“Fucking bitch.” Ethan says, the shock that had kept him from speaking gone far too late. He glances over at Alice and his anger only increases seeing her curled into herself.

“You okay?” She nods, “I’m okay.” He doesn’t believe her, but doesn’t say anything. Just helps her off the bed, escorting her to the front desk with a hand on the small of her back. Concern growing when she doesn’t even smile when getting the ultrasounds.

“She’s wrong, you know that right?” He says once they get into the car and he’s waiting for the light to turn green. “I know. I just,” She pauses, sniffling. “It’s just I’m all they got, you know? I don’t have my mum and dad, gran, grandad. No aunties or uncles, not even a cousin. I’m all they’ve got and I don’t want to screw them up.” “Oh, love.” The pet name escapes and he flushes but pushes his embarrassment away. Taking a hand off the wheel he grabs hers. “They won’t be screwed up, not with you as a mum. And I know you think you’re all alone, but you’re not. You’ve got my mum and me.” “I know, it’s just,” “They’re going to ask one day to meet your parents and family and there won’t be anyone to meet.” She nods, “yeah. I’m grateful that I have you and Ruth. I just never thought about how they wouldn’t have any cousins to play with or an auntie and uncle to go to when I won’t buy them something.” Ethan chuckles. “I think the guys will have that covered. And who knows one of them or any of our friends could announce their having a kid any day now. They won’t be alone as you think.” He gives her hand a squeeze before dropping it to return the wheel as he makes a turn. “Thank you, Ethan.” She whispers after a moment. “Don’t worry about it, Fe.”

“Now,” he starts as they grow closer to the house. “Would you like me to do your hair when we get home? I could even wash it for you.” “You want to do my hair?” Alice couldn’t help the surprise that filled her voice. She had taught Ethan when they were both teenagers how to do her hair and in the years since he had done it more times than she could count, but never had he offered to do it before. “Yeah. It’s been awhile since I have. And I know wash day is today.” Her heart warms at him remembering that it's a wash day. “Sounds nice, but I’ll wash my hair, I don’t want to struggle getting off the floor.” He scoffs, “I’d just pick you up. Besides, my bathroom sinks big, tall enough that you could sit on a chair in front of it.” “You’ve thought about this.” Her voice is quiet. “I figured you might be tired when you're further along, best to be prepared. Besides,” he turns his head to wink at her. “You’re my girl. Gotta treat you right.”

She shakes her head, fondness filling her. Ethan had always called her my girl, and when he got a girlfriend it changed to my girls. Lauren, his first serious girlfriend, had always found it amusing when he did it. The words had always filled her with a fondness.

“Sounds nice. Thank you.” “You’re welcome, Alice.”

#ethan payne imagine #ethan payne x reader #behzinga x reader #behzinga imagine #sidemen imagine #sidemen x reader #sidemen fic #sins fics

114 notes · View notes

rubycubix-alt · 2 years ago

Text

The assignment today is to write one thousand words (no fewer) about the book I have just finished reading, “The Sirens of Titan” by that eminent man of Indianapolis, Kurt Vonnegut. This book, Vonnegut’s second published novel, tells the story of Malachi Constant, the richest man in the world, and Winston Niles Rumfoord, a rather enigmatic sort of man whose life has taken a strange turn.

Mr. Rumfoord, a New England type who is himself rather wealthy, has managed to buy himself a spaceship, and, alongside his dog, Kazak, has flown himself into a space phenomenon called a chrono-synclastic infundibulum. This is explained as “a place… where all the different kinds of truths fit together”. The consequence of Rumfoord’s ill-advised (and accidental) encounter with this area of space is that he and Kazak now exist along a spiral with one end in the Sun and the other end in Betelgeuse. Whenever a planet (say, the Earth, or Mars, or Titan) intersects the spiral, the pair materialize on the planet’s surface. On Earth, this takes place every 59 days, and is the subject of much excitement by the general public. On Mars, this materialization occurs every 111 days. Due to circumstances which are not explained, the moon Titan travels through space in a spiral which directly aligns with Rumfoord and Kazak’s spiral, meaning that they are permanently materialized on that body.

Malachi Constant became very wealthy, like his father before him. He did this in the same manner as his father, which involved a Gideon Bible and pairs of letters. I’m not going into the method further than that because it’s not relevant to the story. What Constant did with his money was nothing. He threw parties and bought expensive homes, sure, but what he did with it was nothing. Until, that is, he ends up on Mars with an antenna in his brain, on Mercury with a sole companion/friend/enemy, on Titan with his family (the former Mrs. Rumfoord and their son Chrono), back on Earth, freezing to death on a bench at a bus stop.

In reading this novel, one sees the beginnings of those great narrative threads which would later be woven into the beautiful tapestry of Slaughterhouse Five. Here, however, they seem slightly frayed at the ends, somewhat inexpertly woven, so that the picture isn’t as clear at the end, but one can just about pick out certain figures if one squints hard enough. Which is not to say that this is a bad book. I don’t think there can be such a thing as a bad book, except for an unwritten one. Rather, I think this book is a little too cynical, a little too ironic for its own good, so that when it does eventually attempt to make a sincere point, the reader has no empathy for or sympathy towards the protagonist and the point falls flat.

Here are some things I liked about this book. The prose is spare, incisive, and to the point. Vonnegut knows what he’s trying to describe, and his mastery of the English language is evident, even at this early stage in his career. The opening page of the novel contains no fewer than fourteen paragraphs, none of which are longer than two sentences. A beginning writer looking to improve his ability to describe characters with economy would do well to examine the manifold descriptions which invite the reader to imagine the character precisely as he or she would like, with the exception of a few pertinent details which must hold fast across all readers. Another aspect of this story that I liked was the characterization of Rumfoord. He is presented first as a man slightly inconvenienced by his predicament, as a good New Englander should be. Next, he reveals himself to be a sociopathic mastermind of Martian military massacre. Then, he becomes the figure of head prophet of a new religion, designed to unite all of Earth against some imaginary invading force which he knows full well will never come. Finally, we see him as he truly is: a lonely old man abandoned on a lonely old moon with a lonely old robot alien. When, at the novel’s climax, Rumfoord is flung off into the cosmos to wander eternally, he seems grateful for the change of pace. One more thing I enjoyed was Kazak, Mr. Rumfoord’s ever-present canine companion. I don’t know if this was a reference to a dog that Vonnegut knew, or simply a character quirk, but I don’t mind either way. My only complaint in this regard is that I wish we had seen more of him. He mostly stands at his owner’s side, growling menacingly.

Now on to the things I didn’t like as much about this novel. For brevity’s sake, I will pare down my list to three somewhat broad items. First, I thought the tone was ultimately too bleak to be taken seriously. I have found that satire, especially social satire, which I believe this novel to be, must contain within it some grain of earnestness, some shred of genuine emotion in order that the irony can be built upon this grain. In this novel, nobody has any emotion or feeling or takes any action which is not immediately derided by the narrator. I think this reduces the emotional impact of whatever philosophy the author intends the reader to take away from the experience. Second, the characters are not nearly fleshed out enough for my liking. The people in this story seem less like real humans and more like flat paper dolls who are manipulated upon the stage of story by the narrator to achieve a semblance of story. Not in a meta, creative way, but in a utilitarian manner which evokes feelings of hurry. My final complaint lies with the manner of the character Salo’s role in the story. This is it: he appears on the planet where all the other characters are, he stays there a while, then he leaves. He is to the novel simply a means to an end (i.e. a way of resolving the plot). This seems to me like a massive waste of what could be quite a valuable resource. This character should be a mirror to reflect humanity to ourselves. Instead, he’s a bona fide shuttle service.

All in all, I did enjoy this book. If it seems like I’m being harsh, it’s only because, having read a quantity of his short stories as well as his most famous novel, I know that Vonnegut is capable of pulling something like this off. Unfortunately, this early attempt at galaxy-spanning human irony falls a little short of the mark. For all the points he wants to make about fate, destiny, and God, the author would have been somewhat better served by a future version of himself materializing for a few minutes and reading over his draft. Perhaps then the reader wouldn’t feel he had wasted his time.

#vonnegut #kurt vonnegut #sirens of titan #book review #bookblr #litblr #writeblr #wedf

2 notes · View notes

niamhsnaturelab · 2 years ago

Text

Week 4~ Nature Lab

(Tuesday)

Tuesday saw the launch of the nature lab. I was unfortunately late to the session as I had to travel from home on the day. From what i learnt from reading the PowerPoint, reflecting on the self assessment throughout the project will be a great way to generate ideas. The main themes we should explore throughout the nature lab are maps, trails, and networks. This can link to many things to do with nature and I’m sure we can find a way to incorporate these themes into our outcome. A group challenge was also outlined for our trip to Wyre Forest, stating to gather resources such as sound, film, photographs, illustrations and physical materials

After this presentation, we began the natural dye workshop. Many different outcomes were made using different natural components such as avocado, onion skin and weld. The three outcomes had the option of everything, alum only, or no mordant. Mordant is a substance, typically an inorganic oxide that allows dyes to be fixed to a material as it combines with the dye. Alum was mainly used before the modern textile industry with chemical dyes came around in the 1850s and is a type of mordant. It was interesting to see the different variations between the use of mordants and iron sulphates. I have included the results below. While these were just a select few dye combinations, there are many more possibilities that can be created using natural components.

(Friday)

We met at the school of art at 9:30am on Friday to ensure we were there on time to take the coach to Wyre forest. I was very excited to spend some time in nature and see what we could find that could benefit our project. I spent the day with Zoe and Meg which was a good dynamic as we all enjoy being around nature and the outdoors but also, Meg is in a different group so having a different perspective/ someone looking for different things for their group to build upon was good to brainstorm. I found that the contents of Wyre forrest were rather similar throughout. It had a few different types of trees that dominated the woods within their "grouped areas".

in terms of looking for materials to take away, I ended up gathering a variety of objects, such as a pine cone, an acorn, a white leaf, a thicker branch with more texture, a piece of bark, a fern leaf and an interesting mushroom that had been attached to a fallen tree trunk. while foraging I was extremely aware of the ethical principles and the morality of taking materials away from the forest. I personally didn't really agree with it as nature areas such as this should not be impacted by our presence. in order to soften this impact, we only took materials that were on the floor/ had already detached themselves from any living thing.

Again, to try and prevent creating an impact on the forest, I brought my camera with me to take some pictures and videos of the surroundings to get potential inspiration of composition and atmosphere (including sound). Some of the images turned out better than others, most likely due to my inexperience with DSLR cameras. here are a few pictures I took on both my phone and my camera.

(Friday)

While on this trip, there were a few options of trails to pick from, varying in length. We originally aimed to visit the lake/pond featured on the map which was close to where the two trails split from one another. After we began to walk in the direction instructed, we couldn't seem to find the lake so decided to keep on going on the path we were already on. It seemed to be a longer path so we decided to take a shortcut through the trees which resulted in us becoming slightly lost. this was because there wasn't a natural path made by humans to indicate the direction in which we should be going. instead, we used our instincts and made it back to the cafe where we started. In a way, we had to collaborate and work as a team here as some times we had differing opinions of which direction to go in.

1 note · View note

euphoricimagination · 2 years ago

Text

Summary: Your father got a huge opportunity at his job, having the chance to move from your country to Hyōgo, Japan. You decided to upload blogs on YouTube to remember everything that will happen, to keep the memories; ironic since your new school banner, Inarizaki, it’s the complete opposite. You were scared, but a set of twins plus their friend made your life easier

1st Year: Inarizaki High [Suna x reader]; slice of life

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4]

Warning: creepy dude, cursing, 8k words

The day finally arrived. Right now, you are eating breakfast, eyes fidgeting a little out of nervousness. It sucks being the new kid in any school, but being the new kid and a foreigner? That´s a lot for everyone.

The minutes pass quickly, and before you know it, you find yourself entering your new classroom with the principal.

“Good morning, everyone. Hope you guys are excited to enter this new year. I’m going to make this quick to not interrupt. This year you guys are going to have a foreign classmate. She started to learn Japanese just a few months ago, so be understanding in case she doesn’t know what you guys are saying or if she forgets some words. Yn, why don’t you say something?”

“ehh… hi everyone, my name is Yl Yn. You can just call me by my name if you have problems with my last name. Please take good care of me”

When you look up after bowing your eyes immediately go to a boy with yellowish hair, which was whispering to another one with greyish hair. They were the only ones in the class who had dyed hair, so it was easy to spot them. He looks back at you and gives you a smile, which you return with a little nod.

“Welcome Yn, it’ll be a pleasure to have you in the class. Go to the third sit next to the window, behind Suna. Suna please raise your hand so she knows who you are” says the teacher to you, making sure to talk slowly so you understand.

Looking in the direction of Suna, you were met with a serious face. It wasn’t intimidating, just a stoic expression. Walking up to him, you gave him a small smile and a little hi, before sitting down, taking your things out when the class started.

The bell rang ending the class with it. You stayed in your sit taking your phone out to film a little about the classroom. Right before hitting the stop button, the yellow and gray hair dudes came up to your sit, look at the phone and do a little pose, smiling in the process. You look at them with a clear confusion in your face.

“Weren’t ya taking a picture of us?” The grey one asks you

“We know that we´re handsome and all, but ya don’t even know our names and already have a little crush on us, huh?” the blonde one adds, smiling cheekily

“Ehhh… n-not really… I was just…ehh...video?” you say in a mix of Japanese and English. At that Suna turns around and look at the twins.

“Don’t get too cocky with the new girl, she probably was just taking a video for her friends at her country or something like that, right?” says while looking at you with his bored expression, making you nod “besides… who in their right mind will have a crush on you?”

The twins put on an extremely dramatic expression and started to fire back at Suna, who looks like he doesn’t care at all. They were talking so fast that at some point you didn’t understand a single word that came out of their mouths, but the scene looked so hilarious that you couldn’t help to laugh a little. The twins stop screaming at Suna and look back at you.

“Oh.my.god… that just sounded so cute, right Samu?”

“Yes Tsumu, it was adorable”

If you were confused before, then you didn’t know what to feel now. Why were they calling you cute? You just laugh, how is that cute? Suna noticed the confusion in your face, making him chuckle.

“Anyways, I´m Miya Atsumu, he is Miya Osamu, we´re twins. Yer name was…Yn, right?”

“Ehh yeah”

“Ohh yeah, foreigner names are soo cool sounding, ya should be proud!” says Tsumu, although by the end of the sentence he said a word that you couldn’t understand, was it in an accent?

“Eh? What?” you asked confused.

“Miya, you idiot, they told us that she was just learning Japanese don’t use your accent out of nowhere and expect her to understand” Suna says in an annoyed tone while Osamu hits his twin in the back of the head “Sorry, he´s kind of dumb sometimes”

“It´s ok, I need to study more anyway” you say to him smiling “God why is Japanese so hard?” you muttered to yourself in English.

“Wow yer English is soo good, ya better tutor us, we could use some help!” exclaims Atsumu

Before you could answer the teacher came in and send everyone to their sits. Looking at your phone you realize that it was still recording, the twins talking to you made you forget that you were filming; it'll definitely be fun to look it back.

“Let´s talk more at lunch!” Osamu whispers before going back to his sit.

“Sure…” you whisper back, basically to yourself since they already went back to their sits

“Count me in, I guess” says Suna while turning, with a softer look in his eyes. Taking the notebook out you think about what just happened, how somehow you ended up having people to eat lunch with.

The bell rings one more time, this time at 12.00 indicating lunch time. You feel an arm on your shoulders when you were stepping out of the classroom, making you jump a little before finding Atsumu looking down at you with a smile.

“Really dude? Ya can’t just do that, ya know?” says Osamu

“Unbelievable” adds Suna

“It’s okay, right Yn-chan? It’s just a welcome hug” says Atsumu while looking at you “besides look how small she is next to me. Adorable”

Surprisingly enough, it’s not uncomfortable, somehow Atsumu gave you a really nice aura. Flirty, yes, but nice. “Was it necessary to say that I’m short? Really? Rude” you say back to him while rolling your eyes, trying to sound as playful as you can.

“Quit flirting with the poor girl and let’s go eat” says Suna while you shake off Atsumu’s arm to walk to the cafeteria.

Once in there, the twins went to sit on a table while you and Suna went to grab food. While you didn’t talk a lot in the line, it wasn’t uncomfortable. When you were done, you look for the twins, finding them easily since they were bickering; but on the way to the table, you once again feel eyes on you, somehow Suna noticed how uncomfortable you were, giving you sympathetic smile.

Sitting next to Osamu, you took your phone out and film the food, pointing towards the guys right after. Suna gives a little nod, Atsumu waves excitingly and Osamu smiles a little right before digging in his food. While Atsumu talks about something with the guys, you ate silently enjoying their chat.

“It´s soo cool that the three of us are going to be in the volleyball team, I heard that ya were really good in middle school Suna. Obviously not better than Samu and I, but still” says Atsumu

“Do you ever just…shut up?” Suna scoffs

“That´s just rude men… Anyways Yn-chan, do ya play volleyball?”

“No, I don’t. I do like watching it, though. It´s…ehh…intense” you answer, your Japanese failing by the end

“It´s really fun, ya should definitely come to our practices sometimes! I heard that we can have a manager, why don’t ya try that?” Atsumu looks at you with excited eyes, smiling slightly at your little mistake

“Tsumu, it the first day of school, let her adapt to all of this first. Ya just want her to be our manager because she´s cute” Osamu says hitting his twin in the back of the head

“Ouch! That’s not true! If she´s our manager it would help her too!”

“Let her decide for herself! He can get really annoying sometimes, please forgive him” Osamu tells you, shaking his head annoyed.

“If I am annoying so are ya, we have the same blood!”

And with that they start bickering again while Suna does comments here and there. You just sit there eating and watching them fight, laughing here and there over their silliness. Manager? You had no idea what a manager does, why would a high school volleyball team need a manager anyways? But even if you wanted to become their manager, you still needed to go to your Japanese classes, so it wouldn’t be possible.

The twins and Suna continue their conversation, always trying to include you with sweet smiles. The minutes past fast and before you know it, lunch time was over. You didn’t expect to feel so comfortable with anyone, let alone this fast, but they did a great job at trying to make you feel welcomed.

The first school day was finally over. The twins and Suna left the classroom right away because they had to be early at the gym, but they made sure to scream a goodbye to you. Walking outside the school, you felt stares at your back, but this time it wasn’t like before. As you turn around you see a group of girls looking at you, hatred coming out of their eyes; confused once again, you turn around to leave before you heard

“YNNN-CHAAN! Wait!”

“What happened Atsumu? Didn’t you have to be at the gym?” you asked him once he was close enough

“Yeah, but we have to fill our waters. Anyways, that’s not the point, the coach told us that we can have a manager, but we had to make sure that it isn’t any of my fangirls or anyone crazy” he tells you with a smile

“You have… fangirls? Why?”

“Why wouldn’t I have fangirls? I´m amazing at volleyball and handsome… So what do ya say?” Atsumu says with a bit of hope in his eyes

“Ehh, I don’t know what a manager does but-”

“Don’t worry, it´s easy, we can help ya! Please?”

“Well, it´s not just that I don’t want to, I can’t. Japanese classes” you answer him back. It honestly didn’t sound so bad being their manager.

“Ohh true, ya still need to learn more Japanese"

“Yeah, sorry”

“It´s okay, yer´re trying really hard to learn our culture anyways. But ya have to come to our practices sometimes, okay? Samu and I basically adopt ya already”

“A-adopt?” you asked him. Inside the gym someone calls for Atsumu, with an annoyed tone.

“Haha cute. I have to go, see ya tomorrow, Yn-chan!”

And with that he left to the gym before he got yelled for again. You began walking towards your house with the thought still in your head. Adopt you? What does he mean? However, you can’t stop the little smile over how good this day was.

+++

Thursday morning. You repeat the same routine, but this time reading the messages from your old classmates. “The school looks so pretty!” “They still use chalk boards?” “Who are those boys you ate lunch with? They look fine, how did YOU talk to them?” “Did going there change your personality or something?” “Hope you´re doing fine <3”. You roll your eyes, but you also couldn’t blame them; you were an introvert, how could you have the balls to talk to guys like Atsumu, Osamu and Suna? They were obviously handsome.

This time you arrived to school much earlier than yesterday. Opening the locker to put your school shoes you noticed a piece of pink paper falling down, you tried to read it, but the handwriting was really messy, making it difficult to understand. You put the paper in your pocket and immediately went to the classroom to wait there, only looking up when the chair moved with Suna giving you a little nod.

“Hi” you say

“Hi, not filming today?” he asks looking at your phone, which is currently unlocked on the table.

“I already did, my old classmates find the school pretty” you answered with a smile on

“Oh? You send it to them already? Eager to show off a little?” He smirks

“Nah they were…ehh…annoyed…no, annoying about it. It’s on YouTube” you said stumbling over a word.

“Lemme see” out of nowhere he takes your phone and does something. It was so sudden that you weren’t able react “I sent me the link from your video, and I added my number too. Let me text you the number of the twins” You immediately received a text, first an emoji and then 2 contacts labeled as ‘Tsumu and 'Samu

“SUNAA! Ya left practice early?! Yer’re lucky that our coach wasn’t there” Atsumu enters screaming, moving his eyes to you with a smile.

“It was just a few minutes early, relax, besides you two were the slow ones, technically practice was over when I left” Suna says with a blank face.

“Whatever, how are ya, Yn?” Atsumu asks you

“Good, more relaxed than yesterday. You practice in morning?”

“In the morning, and yes, we do. It’s not a heavy practice like in the afternoon though” Osamu corrects you while entering the classroom and eating some cookies, which he offers you some.

“Ya should definitely come to see us, the second and third years are awesome! By the way, let me add our numbers so we can text ya!” says Atsumu smiling.

“Oh, Suna send them to me already, let me text you” grabbing your phone, you send the both of them a ‘hi 😸’, immediately receiving a text from the both of them.

“The video was beautiful Yn-chan, the aesthetics suits you a lot. You really put us on it, huh?” says Suna out of nowhere

“Well, I met you yesterday, no? That’s the idea…”

“Ya made a video? Show us?! Who looks better on it, Samu or me?”

“Obviously me, ya idiot! I’m the handsome twin yer’re the dumb one” says Osamu while smirking

“Everyone go to your seats now!” the teacher screams while entering, cutting the conversations.

It’s lunch time already, and once again Suna and you go to get lunch while the twins look for a table. This time he took your arm delicately, moving you slightly to hide you from the prying eyes.

“So… did you classmates said anything else apart from how pretty the school is?” he asks

“Hmm… they say that you guys are hot, and ask themselves why you talked to me in the first place” you laugh a little at that, but Suna squints.

“Why wouldn’t we talk to you? You look and are nice. Your classmates sound quite rude if you ask me” says Suna while taking money out of his pocket

“Well, I’m not that good at talking” you mutter while putting your hand in the pocket, but instead of money you touch a piece of paper “Oh yeah, what does this say?”

Suna takes the paper, scanned it and throws it to the trashcan with a scoff “Just Atsumu dumb fangirls saying to get away from him. Don’t listen to them” he rolls his eyes, annoyed “I’m paying for your lunch, by the way”

“Oh yeah, he has fangirls…wait, why are you paying?”

“I want to, take it as a welcome gift or whatever” he shrugs his shoulders before petting your head

“Thanks” you can feel yourself blushing. Why do you have to be so shy? You look to the front but through the corner of your eye, you can see Suna smirk at the reaction he caused on you. Walking back to the twins, you noticed that the table had a lot more people on it. Same as yesterday, you sit next to Osamu, shaking slightly when their eyes focus on you.

“Guys this is our friend Yn-chan, she is the cute foreign girl we told ya about. Yn-chan, some of the volleyball team” Atsumu presents you

“Hi, I’m Yn” you say quietly while nodding. After filming a little you turn to Osamu, who’s is eating something familiar

“Is that an…onigiri?” you asked hesitantly.

“Yes! I made them myself. Want to try one?”

“Sure. I haven’t tried them yet” you take the onigiri he’s offering, biting into it “Man, this is so good, what the hell?”

“They are so good they made ya speak English, huh?” you nod enthusiastically “glad ya like them, chibi-chan. I’ll make more for ya”

“Chibi-chan?”

“Yer’re small, which it’s cute. Chibi-chan fits perfectly”

“For the first time I completely agree with Samu, Chibi-chan suits ya really good, ya better get used to it” Atsumu butts in with a cheeky smile

“Sorry to interrupt, but is it okay to refer to her like that? Are you sure she’s its okay with it?” a boy with white hair says, looking at you with a blank face

“It’s fine, I guess. Thank you for caring…” you pause realizing you don’t know his name.

“Kita”

“Thank you for caring Kita-san, it’s okay” you repeat bowing slightly.

The lunch passed slower this time, mostly because you were answering the many questions that the rest of the team asked. You knew that they didn’t have mean intentions, they were just curious, but it was uncomfortable; the more you had to talk, the more your volume went down. Somehow, Suna was the first one to notice your nervous state. He didn’t exactly know why, but he likes you a little more than he likes the twins, even though he met you yesterday.

“Oh yeah! Atsumu can you tell your fangirls to stop bothering her? She received a threatening note in the morning. Thankfully she didn’t understand what it said, but still”

“A threatening note? Chibi, I’m so sorry for it. I’ll try to say something to them”

“Ugh, Atsumu fangirls are so annoying” someone from the team say, successfully drifting the attention away from you into Atsumu’s fan club. You look at Suna and mouth a little 'Thanks', which he returns with a little smirk and a nod. Despite being nervous, you found that the team was really fun. After lunch, everyone in the team went to their classes, not before saying goodbye to you.

“I forgot that ya arrived here a few days ago, and ya just had the school lunch so far. Don’t worry about tomorrow’s food, I’ll make ya a bento with some of my favorite things” Osamu says to you while walking towards your classroom

“You don’t have to…”

“I don’t remember asking ya. Seriously, it’s fine, I want ya to try other Japanese food outside of the cafeteria one” he says ruffling your hair

“Thank you” you move to give him a little hug, feeling him tense up slightly. Before you could question him, you heard Atsumu voice

“Samu! make me a bento too!” Atsumu exclaims looking at his brother, who simply said ‘No’ before walking away “why not? I’m yer twin!”

“That’s exactly why I don’t want to!”

You went straight to your sit while the twins still were bickering about the bento, unconsciously taking your phone out before starting filming them. You noticed that Suna also had his phone pointing to the twins direction, shooting you a playful smirk.

The day passes quickly after that. While you were checking your videos, which had a lot more views than you expected, you heard your phone ring.

+++

The morning classes pass normally, so now you are in the cafeteria ready for lunch sitting next to Osamu, who passes you the bento box with a smile on his face. The box was wrapped in a cute cat fabric. Opening it, you see the most beautiful food that you have ever seen, with things you already knew to things that you never seen before.

“So... I added some classics that ya already had before, at least in here, and some of my favorites from this side of Japan. Hope ya like it chibi” Osamu explains with an over-the-top reverence.

“I'm sure it's good, you made it. Thank you again” you say to him smiling, noticing a small blush on his ears. As soon as you tried the food your eyes go wide. While you didn’t know what exactly you were eating, it was so good “So fucking good, just unbelievable. So good Samu, so good” you mutter making Osamu smile grow even bigger

“Chibi, any plans for the weekend?” Suna asks while looking at with at you with little smile, the three of them were watching you with a soft look.

“Ehh... I need to finish unpacking. I don't know how long it would take”

“That takes a lot of time, and its so tiring and boring” you nod your head as an answer since you had your mouth full

“Chibi, when are ya coming to see our practice? We're really good” says Atsumu with a little pout

“I will go as soon as I can, I promise”

“Ya better”

You continue talking, well the twins with a few interruptions from you and Suna. Between talking to Suna and hearing the twins bicker with each other the classes past fast, the guys leaving to their practice as soon as they end. Walking towards the gates of the school you felt someone grabs your backpack effectively stopping you, finding the same group of girls from the other day.

“Look girls, it's the little whore. After all that's the only way she will get any attention from our Tsumu” one of them says

“Yeah, and why else would the boys talk to her otherwise...just look at her. Ew”

You just stood there without saying a word, partly because you weren’t sure what they were saying, but most importantly, you just wanted to go home “Can I go now? Thanks” you said while taking her arm out of you and walking away.

You can hear them yelling something, but you just put your earphones and completely ignore them. You knew that they were Atsumu fangirls, but they didn't seem to understand what the word fangirl meant. Debating between letting Atsumu know about it or not, you decided to just forget it; you knew that he would do something dumb by seeing his reaction whenever someone mentions them

The weekend pass fast between unpacking, taking Japanese classes and talking to the boys. On your way to school you felt some eyes on you, noticing an old man standing next to you. You noticed that the old man was trying to look at you discretely, taking his phone out; after a few minutes, you suddenly felt a hand near your skirt, the phone getting dangerously close. Instinctively, you move and ‘accidentally’ hit his hand, causing him to drop his phone with the camera open. The were still 3 stations left and the dude didn't seem to get a away soon, so you just moved as much as you could. You were a station away when you felt a hand on your lower back, noticing that it was from the same dude, you turned around and slap him as hard as you could, leaving the train right away.

You arrived to school quite fidgety, the adrenaline finally going down. Putting your head on the desk you teared up a little, realizing how scary the moment felt. While you were like this the boys enter from their morning practice, worrying as soon as they saw your state.

“Oi, what happened to you?” Suna asks while tapping your head, making you jump a little.

“Ah? ehh...” Should you tell them or not? You don't want to worry them, but you also knew it wasn't a good idea to not say anything “ehh...”

“Don't you dare to say it's nothing” he says again, Osamu and Atsumu arriving right after.

“Ehh...someone... subway... photo under my skirt...try” you tried to say in an extremely broken Japanese, voice shaking at the thought.

“A photo of ya? Under yer skirt?” Osamu asks softly making you nod.

“That motherfucker...how dare him?” Suna says while shaking his head. You tense up at the feeling a pair of arms and a chin on top of your head before relaxing in Atsumu embrace.

“I'm sorry Chibi” says softly, tightening his grip and effectively managing to calm you down with his hug

“It's okay, I guess... I slap him though”

“That's my girl, that asshole deserved it” Suna laughs slightly while patting your head.

“Glad that nothing more happened to ya chibi-chan” says Samu while patting your head “but if ya want us to beat him, we can”

Throughout the whole day the guys treated you even more gentle then usual, all of them trying their best to make you forget what had happened with their affection. The twins naturally ended up embarrassing themselves, but this time even Suna joined. The day ended, meaning that you had to leave while the guys go to practice.

“Be careful Chibi, if someone looks suspicious move right away”

“Yes, Samu, I’ll be fine, don’t worry. Thanks”

“If ya were our manager we could walk ya home, ya know?”

“Tsumu, not the time” says Suna

“My classes are near here, I’ll be fine, I promise. See you guys!” You leave waving at the boys, who wave back with a concern look before entering the gym.

Ending your class at 5, you walked in front of the school to go back to the subway, surprising you that it still was open. Will the guys still be practicing? The question is quickly answered when you hear balls hitting the ground, alongside the sound of sneakers and some screams here and there. You knock quietly and open the door to see who is in it, finding the guys playing. You stay in the section where they change shoes, in awe while watching them play. The guys were so focused playing than none of them even noticed that someone enter. The score was 20 – 24, the team of the twins winning, when the coach notice that you were standing there.

“Sorry, this is a close practice. No fangirls for today” he says

“Eh? I´m not a fangirl I´m-” you get interrupted by screams, noticing that the twins team won. They share hi-5’s before they noticed that you were talking to the coach “friends with some of them”

“Chibiii! Did ya see us play?”

“When did ya arrived?”

“Coach let her stay, she´s our friend”

“Yeah, she´s is Suna friend too, right Suna?”

“Yeah, she is. Hi Chibi” Suna smile slightly

“See coach, let her…”

“SHUT UP!” screams the coach “I understand, you don’t have to say it a million times” The twins stayed quiet right away, muttering a ‘Sorry’, but at the same time looking really happy “Since the practice match is over, we can finish now anyway. EVERYONE! Good job today, do your final stretches and clean yourself up. See you tomorrow.”

The coach leaves muttering about how annoying they were, making you chuckle while the twins and Suna look at you.

“Soo, ya watched us play?” Atsumu asks

“Yeah, for the last two points… it was awesome”

“Didn’t you have classes?” asks Suna with a malicious grin “desperate enough to come and see us?”

“Ha.ha no, my tutoring is nearby and we finish early, so I thought that I could come and see if you were still here”

“Ahh yeah, we normally practice until 18.30 or 19.00 depending on the day. Wait for us outside while we do our stretches and clean up, one of us will walk ya to yer house” says Osamu

“Okay”

“Wait, not fighting us back? Ya always deny everything at first” asks Atsumu confused

“It doesn’t seem like I have lots of options, does it?”

“True, anyways let´s change so we can go” adds Atsumu ruffling your hair

And with that the three of them turn around and go stretching. You left the gym and breath the pure air, since the gym one wasn’t pleasant after a bunch of teenage boys had practice there. You decided to post a story on Instagram as you wait, taking a photo of the sky and tagging the boys on it. You received some messages from your old classmates and one from Suna, just the 😑 emoji.

Once the 3 of them are out you walk to the subway, realizing that this was the first time the four of you walk together after school. The more time you spend with them, the more confident they make you feel, which ends up with you talking a lot more than the usual. It’s obvious that the guys noticed the change because their eyes widen a little and have a little smile, but decided to say nothing about it.

“So... where do ya go?”

“I take that subway, it's 12 stations to the one near my house”

“Oh, we live quite close then, I live 3 stations before you” says Suna

“Not fair, why do we live to the other side?” says Atsumu pouting

“Luck really isn't on our side huh?” Adds Osamu, a little disappointed too “anyways, go now before it's too late. Suna, take care of her”

“Bye guys, see you tomorrow!” You wave at them while walking to the other side of the station with Suna. He let you in first, immediately moving towards the back doors. Suna stands in front of you with his left arm right besides your head, making you realize just how tall he was next to you.

“Damn, you're tall” you say unconsciously

“Did you just realized that?” he asks amused looking down at you.

You blush at the realization that you said it out loud, looking to the other side while Suna just chuckles. Looking at your phone, you noticed it's already 6 pm, reason wht it was getting chillier. Since you have never been out at this time, and you didn’t expect to stay out until this late, you didn't bring anything for the cold afternoon.

Looking at Suna again, you decided to talk about his practice. He teaches you all the basics rules, like the rotation system, the libero, etc. And while some things didn't made sense, you definitely knew way more than before. Plus, it was nice to see him so relaxed.

Soon the train started to get full, so Suna ended up extremely close to you, the only thing separating you being your backpack. You noticed a small blush on Suna's cheeks while he tries to not look at you “Ehh, it's... okay if I put my hands beside you? I don't want to squish you” he asks you

“It’s okay, give me your backpack so it's easier for you” you say without looking at him; passing you his backpack while putting his hand on the other side of my head, he makes a little shield with his body. Since his arm was right beside your head, you decided to lay on it, feeling Suna stiff a little before relaxing. After a few minutes you look up ready to get off the train, Suna somehow understanding and taking your hand so you can walk out.

“Thank you for coming with me” you say

“What are you saying now? We aren't at your house yet”

“Eh? I thought that you would want to go back right away, after all you just finish your practice” you tell him confused

“Nah, I’m making sure you arrive home okay, I'm not that dumb. Now move” He says flickering your forehead lightly

You go out of the subway, immediately getting chills, the warmth of the train station leaving as soon as you go out, but you decided to ignore it and continue walking. Suna rolls his eyes whispering ‘This girl' before taking off his jacket and throwing it to your head “Put it on you idiot”

“Thanks”

You two continue walking while talking to each other, the conversation going from the things that your country has, your old school to his old school and the volleyball team.

“I would love to see an actual practice of yours, maybe even be your manager. It looked fun”

“You have classes everyday?” he asks

“Yeah, I finish at 5 in the week, the early that I can be at the school it’s at 5:15 or so”

“You know, we have practice on Sundays, you can come and see a full practice there”

“You practice on the weekends too?!” you exclaim

“Haha yeah, just Sundays though. Maybe, if you help us then, we can convince our couch to let you be our manager despite the time”

“Why would he let me be your manager? I don’t think arriving at 5 pm will be helpful” you look at him confused

“Well, if you do help us whenever you can, then why not? It’s not like you don’t want to. Besides it can give you special permissions to not go to school whenever we have a practice match outside the town or something like that” he says simply

“I can get permissions to not go to school just because I'm your manager? Let’s try it then. You should have told me that sooner”

“And here I thought that you wanted to spend more time with us, all it took was telling you that you could leave classes for you to consider it. I'm hurt Chibi. I'm hurt” he says with a fake hurt expression

“Such a drama queen. You know that I love you guys. Anyways, my house is over there, so let me...” you roll your eyes while opening the jacket and give it back, but his hand stops you before you could fully open it.

“Don't worry about it, just give it back tomorrow”

“This is your jacket for practice though, you guys have practice in the morning too”

“I'll use a hoodie. Go in now, I'm tired and I want to leave” he says bluntly, but with a softer look on his face

“Okay, okay. Bye Suna, see you tomorrow!” with that you got close while bringing him down to give him a kiss on the cheek. You turn around and enter your house, failing to notice how flustered Suna was, with his eyes widen and a heavy blush on his cheeks.

After getting ready for bed, you look at your phone, finding a bunch of texts from the group chat and one separately from Suna. You look at the group chat first, considering that it has the most messages on.

The next morning was quite chilly, so you just put Suna's jacket on and head out. You end up behind them once you arrived, so you took your phone out and started recording, hoping to catch their faces.

“Guys!”

“Chibi! Hii!” exclaims Atsumu

“What's up” says Suna while approaching you. He bends down so you can give him the same kiss than yesterday with a smirk on “Why are you wearing my jacket again?”

“It was cold”

“What just happened?” Asks Osamu stunned

“Samu...did they kissed or what? How? Are they dating already? No, they can't be. They met a few days ago, what's...”

“Shut up! It didn't look like a normal kiss... Chibi. Explain. Now” asks Osamu while crossing his arms waiting for an answer; he had a serious look while Atsumu was confused, going between Suna and you. You couldn't hold back your laugh much longer, bursting out laughing.

“You sure are idiots, we didn't kiss kiss” says Suna rolling his eyes

“Yesterday I accidentally said goodbye to him like that. It’s nothing serious” you tell them when your laughter stopped

“Your reactions were so funny”

“Ya guys are mean. I'll forgive ya just because yer're cute chibi” says Atsumu moving to give you a hug

“Ya scare me, I was ready to beat Suna up for taking advantage of my poor little girl” Osamu hugs you before bending down to your ear “However, if he does try to do something ya don't want, let me know right away, okay?”

“Sure Samu, you will be the first one to know if something comes up”

The week passes fast and before you know it was Friday. These past days you’ve been staying with the boys after your tutoring, helping them out with the water bottles and all the other managerial duties that you could help. You were talking to Kita, who helped you out with everything since he's not technically part of the team, while taking the equipment to the storage room, noticing a calendar that has a yellow circle on the 4th of April with the word "Aran" on it.

“That's Aran-san birthday, we have all the birthdays of the team on the calendar”

“Jesus! What the fuck, Suna! How the hell are you so quiet?! My heart”

“Not my fault you're deaf” He shrugs smiling

“Rude. Anyways that's cool… So your birthday is on January 25th, good to know” you whisper to yourself while looking through the calendar

“We should add our Chibi into the calendar!” exclaims Atsumu

“Finally, a good idea came out of yer mouth” mutters Osamu “When is it princess?”

You’ve been looking at the calendar while they were talking, arriving to the month of your birthday and seeing a bright circle with two names on it “No fucking way. You have to be kidding me” You mutter, the boys immediately looking at you “I share my birthday with the two of you?!”

“Hey why do ya look so annoyed by that?! I thought we were friends” says Osamu copying your expression

“Maybe that's why she looks so annoyed”

“Suna! Not now! But like really? Yer're on the 5th too?” Atsumu asks, making you nod before hugging you tightly “see Samu, I told ya she is our twin too. Ya can't get away from us now, we're family”

“Yay? should I be happy?”

“Of course ya should, don't ya love us?”

“Well...” you say finally breaking into a smile. Honestly, you didn't really care about sharing your birthday with the twins, you just wanted to mess up with them a little. Atsumu looks at you with a disappointed expression “I´m kidding, I´m kidding”

“Let me fix the calendar” Suna adds, taking a sticky note out and put it right on the 5th, writing just your name on it “Done, all the important birthdays added”

“SUNA!”

The team laughs at the scene of Atsumu fighting with Suna, who didn’t look like he cared. After a few minutes of the scene, the captain makes them stop, pushing the four of you out of the gym.

“I promise ya Chibi, we are going to have the best birthday ever!”

“Tsumu it´s not going to annoy ya, I promise” Osamu adds

“Yer´re the same as me, don’t pretend to be more mature now”

“God, love you guys” you whisper to yourself, but they manage to hear

“We love ya too” says Osamu, ruffling your hair

“Group hug! Come here Suna, ya know that ya want to do it too” Atsumu went to hug you, bringing his twin with him

“… Fine, just because of Chibi though”

You really love these boys for you to get up so early on a Sunday morning. You put some sweatpants and a hoodie, you weren’t going to get all fancy with clothes or makeup at this hour.

You were looking for your subway card when you see Suna resting on the wall writing something in his phone and then closing his eyes. You hear a notification immediately after, so you look at your phone and see a message ‘Hey, at what time do you take the subway?’.

“Now” you answered, startling him a little “why are you here?”

“Can´t I pick you up now? If I knew I will be treated like this I wouldn’t have come” he says trying to sound annoyed, a soft smile threatening to appear.

“Thank you for coming. Let´s go, you´re going to be late” you grab his arm and pull him to the station. Even though you thought he will fight back or not let you pull him at all, he did nothing to stop you, he didn’t even shake your arm off even though you were already on the train.

You arrived to the school just on time, seeing the rest of team already there. They smile at you before going out for a run to warm up, so in the meantime you decided to fill up their water bottles and prepare everything in the gym for their practice. The coach entered soon after, surprised by seeing you there.

“Wasn’t expecting you here, Ms. Ln”

“The boys talk me into helping them, they really want me to be their manager” you tell him while shrugging your shoulders

“It would be a good idea, the twins look a lot more concentrated and fight less whenever you’re around, Suna tries harder than usual, and Aran seems more relaxed. Overall, everyone looks and acts better when you are here. Do you want to?”

“I do, seeing them get better and play its strangely comforting. Can I be the manager even if I arrive later than usual though?”

“Sure, why not. Besides I will never hear the end from the twins if I don’t let you be, we both win like this. I’ll tell the director about it. Can you make sure they practice correctly in the mean time?”

“Yes sir”

You go around giving them their bottles when the boys arrive all sweaty and tired. Once you were near Atsumu you smile at him brightly, making him look at you confused while receiving the bottle.

“Congrats, you guys have a new manager” you tell them while turning around and handing some towels to the rest of the guys.

“Huh? New manager?” his eyes widen at the realization “Wait! Are ya finally our manager?!” You simply nod, trying to not laugh. Out of nowhere you feel a pair of arms around you, lifting you up and turning you around “Yes! Our chibi is our manager!!”

“Tsumu you’re sweating! You don't have to make such a big deal about it” you say laughing along, however he just hugs you tighter and nuzzles his head on your shoulder

“Welcome to the team, officially now. Please help us to keep them in line” says the captain of the team with a smile.

The hours pass quickly with them practicing. You were taking some notes about them with the help of Kita, who explained everything very kindly. They practice throughout the whole day, finishing with a match between them.

“Chibi, do ya want to practice for a bit?” Asks Atsumu right before they started leaving

“Ehh... I remember learning the basics, I’m not good”

“C’mon, let me see what they taught ya” you did the basic arm position that you knew “Hey that's good, the arms have to be closer though. Why don't ya try receiving the ball?”

“You’re going to take my arms off. I have never done this and you want me to start with people that have played this sport since kids?”

“C'mon, I'm not going to throw it at ya with force. We don't even need the net”

“Do I even have a choice?” He shakes his head, sending you a smile “Fine, 10 minutes. You guys can leave, I don’t want you to see me embarrass myself”

“You're kidding? Our new manager learning how to play? I wouldn't miss this for anything” says Aran with a mocking grin on his face, the rest of team agreeing. With that Atsumu takes a ball and throw it high enough to make it as easy as possible. You were able to received the ball decently, half scared and half nervous.

“Hey, yer're pretty good for someone who never played before” he says

“Ya look so cute Chibi. My heart” adds Osamu with a hand on his chest

“She looks like a kid scared of the ball. So cute”

Every time Atsumu threw the ball at you, he changed something, from the force that he hit it to the place it was going to fall. The 10 minutes passed and your forearms were on fire, everyone started to leave before giving you some head pats, tiredness was getting over you by the minute

“See, yer're not bad at all. Maybe we can teach ya more later”

“Shut up Atsumu”

“Don't be mad! I needed to see how ya would react to different things”

“She looked so scared, it was fun and cute” Osamu giggles at the memory

“You too Osamu. You know how I said that I loved you earlier? Yeah, I take it back.”

“Ya can't and ya won't. Remember yer're our official new twin, there's no refunds in this” says Atsumu while back hugging you

“Samu, help me”

“Nope, ya call me Osamu, this is a payback”

“Suna?”

“Nah”

“Why are ya mad at me? I mean it when I said ya were good” Atsumu asks lifting you up while continue walking, like it was something normal.

“I woke up at a 6 am on a Sunday, my arms hurt, I'm tired, I embarrassed myself. Is that not enough for you? And put me down”

“I'm not putting ya down until we arrive to the subway. And thank ya, ya have put up with us a lot, we love ya a lot”

“You're not mad mad, are you? I feel that if you were you will be kicking our ass right now” Suna says

“Probably tired, she did wake up early and did a bunch of things she's not used to. I know that I would be if I was her”

“And this is why Samu is my favorite”

“Chibi-chan! I'm the one carrying ya!” exclaims Atsumu

“I didn’t ask you to do it”

“But still” with that he gets closer to whisper in your ear “Hey chibi-chan? Ya still love us, right?”

“Yes Tsumu, I do. I'm just tired, it was a long day” you sigh after hearing the sad tone in his voice.

“Good, don't leave us, okay? All of us really care about ya”

“I know Tsumu, I care about all of you too”

383 notes · View notes

sopejinsunflower · 2 years ago

Text

a/n: Ironically, I got this idea while listening to Fukaimori by Do As Infinity. Please read the translated lyrics if you’re interested. Also, I started this as a drabble actually. I don’t know why I always write angst :’)

Summary: Kim Seokjin wants to chase his dream of exploring space. It’s all he ever wanted. And you only ever wanted him but you will not stand in between him and his passion. But there is a secret that you kept, too afraid it might hold him back.

Pairing: Kim Seokjin x you

Tags: Sci-Fi AU! Astronaut Jin! Childhood lovers AU! angst, drama, heartbreak, read only if you want to feel sad. Bittersweet ending.

Word count: 7k

“It’s so wide it’s kind of scary, isn’t it?”

“I think it’s beautiful.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, and one day I’m going to be among those pretty lights.”

“You are a pretty light.”

– – –

Jin’s eyes blink open and it takes him a while to find his bearings, remaining on his bed a little longer, staring up at the ceiling. He can hear his work partner moving around in the next room before he hears the man exit. He should, too, even if he rather pulls the blanket over his head and just disappears.

Getting out of bed, he gets ready to start the day. The first place he visits is the kitchen to get some caffeine into his system. He remembers dreaming but can’t remember what the dream was, only that it left a foul taste in his mouth and an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“Morning,” Hoseok greets, standing in the middle of the kitchen area with a mug in both hands. He doesn’t look like he had a good sleep either.

“Morning,” Jin replies, taking out his mug and pouring himself a good helping of steaming coffee. He stands there, blowing the coffee to have it cool down a little before taking a tentative sip. He looks up at Hoseok, who is buried in some research papers. “Is that a new one?”

The second-in-command nods, not looking up. “Yep. They have a new location for us to check out. I’m just checking to see how much bullshit is in this one.” He rolls his eyes but focuses back on reading, eyebrows knitting together, mouth downturned.

Jin chuckles. “Well, have fun and update me later if there’s anything worth noting.”

He leaves Hoseok and heads towards the front of the Freljord, the huge long windows that line the walls showing him the dark and vast universe outside. A big fat nothing, you used to tell him when he would send pictures earlier in the first year of his voyage. He used to argue with you about it, trying to educate and explain to you that it’s not nothing but a whole new possibility of finding a new planet to call home. That is Freljord's mission, started seven years ago when everyone on board had been excited and full of hope.

Now, not so much, Jin thinks as he enters the main control room, or the cockpit. He finds Namjoon there, looking at a chart hovering inches from his face, the soft glow casting his face blue. “Anything of note?” he asks as he steps up to his chair in the middle and starts up his console.

Namjoon shakes his head. “Nope. Nothing much. Just,” he looks up towards the big glass window ahead, “forward, I guess.”

“Hoseok got some new materials,” Jin says as he busies himself with the blue screen that illuminates holographically in front of him, moving his hands deftly across it in front of his face. “Maybe he’ll have some new coordinates for us.”

Namjoon hums a response before putting away the chart with a flick of his wrist. The two men sit in silence, both tending to their own tasks before Namjoon sighs. Jin glances at his Chief Navigator. “Problem?”

“No,” replies Namjoon with a shake of his head. “Just…”

Jin fully turns around. “What is it?”

“Sometimes it just gets to you, you know,” Namjoon says heavily, rubbing the point in between in his eyes. “It just feels…pointless.”

Jin doesn’t reply but turns his chair back around, looking at the hologram in front of him but not really seeing anything. He understands exactly what Namjoon is saying because he feels it, too, more so recently. It’s just one of those days where he wakes up with the thought of you at the forefront of his mind, unable to push you to where you should be, at the back of his mind, buried with time. His shipmate is right; it does feel pointless. Seven years in space with nothing yet command centre still insists on going further out.

And every year, Jin only grows bitter and bitter. The project was only supposed to be a five-year plan but in the fifth year, a research paper came out about the possibility of finding a habitable planet in Andromeda and they were ordered to head that way. The excuse was that Freljord is advanced enough to make the trip, the first craft to reach the edge of our galaxy in half a decade! So it must be able to travel towards Andromeda, right? With a few stops along the way, because why not, right?

Jin is starting to think that the command centre forgot that there are real life humans in this spaceship, that this isn’t their own science fiction novel that they can write however they pleased. But Jin doesn’t have the power to turn them down. If they turn back around, they’ll be welcomed back as traitors. He had been subtly warned as such.

According to the calculation, they should break into Andromeda’s galaxy in a few more years, five the maximum, three if they’re lucky that nothing gets in their way. But judging from the asteroid shower six months ago that deviated them from their straight path by a year, three years seems unlikely.The idea that they all might just die in space is growing more and more solid in Jin’s mind, the Freljord forever floating, lost in space.

It’s Jin’s turn to sigh, heavy and long. He goes back to his console, typing and clicking on certain things to make sure the ship is running smoothly. Hoseok comes in a few minutes later, a bagel in between his teeth. He removes it before speaking to Jin. “So basically, they want us to head on to this new coordinate.” He points to a long string of numbers on the paper.

“And you don’t look too happy about it,” Jin notes, looking at his face.

Namjoon comes over to peer at the coordinates and his face scrunches up. “Are they fucking with us?”

Jin lets out a humourless laugh. “They’ve been at it for a couple of years now I thought you’d notice.”

“This is way out of our way,” Namjoon points out, annoyed. “This would set us back from the main mission, like, two years the least!”

Namjoon throws himself back into his seat, face buried in his hands. Hoseok gives him a sympathetic look but turns back to Jin. “It’s not set yet. This is just their proposal. But from the sound of those papers, it might already have been decided.”

Jin rubs his temple with two fingers. “And what’s over there?”

Hoseok bites the inside of his cheek before answering, “Water.”

Jin regards him through a frown. “What the fuck.”

The other man shrugs. “Seems like another craft researching asteroids found traces of it.”

“The same ones we passed by six months ago?”

“Seems like it,” the second-in-command answers. “And according to their calculation, this would be the general direction where they came from.”

Jin shakes his head. “That doesn’t make sense. They want us to head straight to an asteroid belt for all we know. Can you reconfirm?”

“Already did. Might take a while until we hear back, though.”

Hoseok watches his captain contemplate, his forehead creasing over. Jin throws his gaze back outside to the abyss in front of him. Honestly, he’s not thinking of anything much. His mind is blank. To him, two years or five years don’t make much of a difference now. Any motivation that he had at the start of this mission to go home and resume the life he left behind is long gone. There’s nothing left for him back on Earth, therefore, nothing left for him to lose. To go or not to go no longer bothers him. But he still has other people to think about, crew members of seventy to weigh in on that decision. They are his main concern.

Hoseok recognises that blank expression well. “I’ll call for a meeting with all the heads during lunchtime.”

The captain merely nods.

***

The seven chief officers sit around the table.

Jin sits in the middle and Hoseok and Namjoon on either side of him. The Communication Officer, Min Yoongi, is to Hoseok’s left and the Chief Science Officer, Park Jimin, is to Namjoon’s right. Kim Taehyung, the Chief Engineer and the Chief of Security, Jeon Jungkook, brings up the total of the leaders on board. Each man is responsible for at least ten other crews under them but the whole weight of the ship falls on Jin’s broad shoulders.

Hoseok finishes the debriefing, keeping it short and simple. He now poses the main question. “We need to know if all of us are in favour of going off route to check out this supposedly new source of water or if we should just remain our course for Andromeda.”

“I say we stay on course,” Jungkook offers first. “We’re already in the second year of a five-year plan for Andromeda. I rather we don’t lose any more years on something so vague.”

Kim Taehyung nods. “I agree.”

“But what if we do find it?” Jimin implores, looking around the table. “The possibility of being the first to find water in space! Imagine that! I say we go check it out.”

“If we do, we’ll be set back by two years at the least,” Namjoon adds. “Would that still be okay?”

Jimin nods. “So what? We’ve already been here seven years. What’s a couple more?”

“Easy for you to say,” Taehyung argues. “Some of us have people waiting for us back home. I promise my fiance at least five more years. Five more years and I’ll be home and I can marry her.”

Jimin pulls a face. “I told you to break it off before we go onto the ship. You’re just stringing her along at this rate.”

“Fuck off,” Taehyung growls. “A playboy like you wouldn’t get it.”

Jimin opens his mouth to retort but Jin slams his fist on the table. “Enough. I’m giving three days for each of you to explain this to your crew and come back with a unionised decision. Majority wins.”

“Come on, captain,” Taehyung pleads. “Let’s not. Let’s tell Command we don’t have enough resources to prolong this voyage. The craft behind us can do it.”

Yoongi nods, agreeing. “It’s their area of study anyway.”

“Their craft isn’t built like ours,” Hoseok interjects. “They wouldn’t make the trip nor would they even make it further out of the Kuiper Belt.”

“Which is why this is coming to us,” Yoongi concludes to himself, silently understanding. Freljord is one of a kind, a miracle created that couldn’t be replicated as close as to the original. It’s high-tech, advanced and self-sustaining in terms of fuel. Shaped like a sperm, the front part is a spherical globe with a bridge connecting a smaller-sized one that makes the tail where the engineering team is.

“Truthfully,” Namjoon pipes up. “I’m with Taehyung on this one. I want to go home, Captain. Don’t you?”

Jin is caught off guard that the navigator would target him, staring at Namjoon like a deer in headlights. Somewhere in the distance, he can hear Taehyung saying something about Jin having left a girlfriend back home, too, so naturally, he should be on their side. But Jin’s mouth is dry. They knew he had someone before they started this mission, he had talked about you, had even had a few grainy video calls with you with them present, had always run back to his room to check for mails from you every night without fail.

Suddenly, Jin is brought back in time.

– – –

“When are you leaving?”

You looked at him through wide, teary eyes, standing at the kitchen island of the apartment you shared with him. He stood on the other side, arms hanging limply on both his sides. He had anticipated that you’d be upset but he didn’t think it would be this bad. He had excitedly come home to show you the letter of acceptance for the Andromeda mission, unable to hide the wide smile on his face. You had read the letter but your face had crumpled. By the end of it, your eyes stung by how much tears are pooling in them.

“It’s a good opportunity,” he had said, trying to convince you. “It’s once in a lifetime and there’s only one spaceship that can do this. It seems I’m the only one compatible to steer it and they need me. It’ll be good for-”

“Is that all you care about?” you wailed. “That they need you? What about me, Jin? What about us?” You waved the letter in his face. “It says here it’ll take ten years. You’re going to be gone for ten years!”

“I know, I know,” Jin tried to placate, putting his arms around your waist. You pulled away moving towards the kitchen, the letter still scrunched up in your fist. He followed you. “Baby, it’s ten years maximum. It could be less. This new spaceship is something no one has ever seen before. It’s much faster, much more-”

“I don’t care, Jin! I don’t fucking care how fucking awesome the ship is! I don’t want you to go!”

You were fully crying by then, leaning against the island top as you tried to get your breathing under control. You placed one hand against your chest, feeling the pain about to rip you apart. You know that he’s been training for this, dedicating most of his youth to the space centre in hopes that one day he’ll get to go. And now he could but you didn’t think the day would come and that it would come so soon.

“When are you leaving?” you asked through shaky lips, your voice barely coming out.

Jin scratched the back of his head. “Well, there’s still more training to do and-”

“When?” you insisted.

Jin studied your face, feeling his hands shake. Mere hours ago, when he received the letter, he had been almost bouncing in his seat, unable to focus on anything except to go home and break the news to you. But now, the excitement had dissipated, replaced with nothing but a heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach, the kind that made him think that his heart had fallen out of its place. There’s a lump in his throat and he swallows it. “Next year.”

Your face fell once again, crumpling to the floor as your body heaved with every sob. Jin rushed forward, collecting you in his arms and pulling you into his lap. He didn’t have any words to say, didn’t know what he could say to comfort you. He thought you’d understand but understanding and accepting are two very different things, he realised.

Jin knew that as much as this news had been an amazing one, something no one else has ever done before, it’s also something very agonising, now that he’s actually thinking about it. But the pros outweigh the cons, he had selfishly thought. All his life, he had wanted nothing more than to be able to go into space on one of his own missions. He had dreamt of this since he was a little kid, since they were little kids. All those nights of camping in the backyard of your house in the small tent your dad pitched up counting stars, you both had talked about it. Or at least he did.

And you had been supportive of his dreams. You had been the one person in his corner to push him to go into astronautics after high school, the one person who helped him study for exams when he thought that he couldn’t do it because it had been too damn hard. You were the person that packed his lunch on days when he had been too tired to even remember to eat, painstakingly shaping the sausages and eggs and sandwiches into little stars and moons and a rocketman. You had cheered the loudest when he got accepted into the Aerospace Research Institute, taking him out to dinner at one of the most luxurious steakhouses in town. It had cost you three of your part-time paychecks to pay but it had been worth it.

A week after his first paycheck, Jin finally had the balls to ask you to officially be his girlfriend but it had almost seemed that that had been the case for most of your university lives, you two joined at the hips even when you were studying at different universities, that it felt natural to just say yes. He bought you a promise ring three months later and you both had planned out the rest of your lives together. Not once did it occur to both of you that it might not come. Not once did either of you ever doubt a future together, the names of your kids picked out and carefully written in a journal you both shared.

Not until that night of the acceptance letter. It felt like the whole world upended for you, ripped out from beneath your feet. Is this what it felt like for Jin to be in that zero-G simulator day in and day out? Because to you, it feels like nothing is reliable anymore; up is down, left is right, right is wrong. It made you feel like throwing up, your head spinning from the sudden unknown of what’s to come. You didn’t like it and you hated that Jin went to work living off of this feeling. He loves it so much he’s willing to leave you behind for more and that's what hurts the most, unfair as it was.

If truth be told, you never expected for Jin to go into space, not that he was incapable but that it had been difficult to be picked. And it’s not everyday that they were sending people into orbit. When Jin told you about the Andromeda Project, you had secretly doubted it. No other country had ever had the technology to make such a craft that can easily travel into interstellar, never mind one big enough to carry close to a hundred crew. But the Andromeda Project had been going on far longer before Jin joined and by the time he had enough experience and knowledge and whatever else requirements needed, it was time to start choosing and training the right people.

Even then, you had your doubts. According to your brother, Hoseok, the competition was tough and they usually go for those with no young family left behind. Jin might not have a family but he wouldn’t abandon you, right? Only you were wrong. So arrogant you were to think that you could compete with his childhood dream, so you relented.

“Okay,” you said, one night as you were getting ready for bed and Jin was propped against the headboard, reading an article on his iPad. He looked up, confused. “Okay,” you said again. “I’ll support you.”

It takes a moment for Jin’s brain to finally click, throwing down the iPad and crawling over towards your side of the bed. He hugged you from behind, pressing lingering kisses on your shoulder. “I promise it’ll go by faster before you know it.”

You didn’t believe him. Who would? Space exploration is the one thing that no one can really tell on, especially one like the voyage he was about to embark on. It’s never been done before so what precedent can anyone refer to? Everything is a blank slate and yes, he would be making history. You’re proud of him for that but at the same time bitter that it had to be him who goes. What’s worse, Hoseok got in, too, so you’ll be left all alone, the one left waiting.

Jin could see how much you were trying to play the supportive girlfriend role. You never complained about his late nights, you never asked more than what you wanted to know, never burdened him with anything you can handle yourself. You took care of his lunch and supplements and as the months went by, you took care of everything in regards to the household, everything so that Jin didn’t have to think of anything else except his oncoming mission.

And the busier Jin got, the heavier your heart grew. When you had a falling out with one of your close friends, Jin didn’t hear about it. He didn’t have to, his mind was preoccupied enough already. When your mother called one day asking if you were still with him when he was going to leave, you had hung up on her. You cried yourself to sleep because you couldn’t distract him. He needed the rest, he needed the clarity. All that he needed, you gave it to him and with that, he never noticed that you were barely keeping your own head above water as you held him afloat.

Three months before his take off date, Jin went down on one knee. The ring he proposed with had been his mother’s, tweaked to have a new diamond installed, a diamond that resembled the north star. “So I know where I’m heading to. You are my last destination,” he had promised. You said yes, because what else could you have said? Like the rest of the issues that were building, this was one of them that he didn’t need to contend with, not when he was about to leave. The preparation had been tough and Jin was stressed out enough, hardly even home for him to notice the change in you, both mentally and physically.

The first year of the Freljord take off had been excruciating. You only received two emails forwarded through from ARI; one from him and one from Hoseok. It’s the year that they had gone into cryosleep. Jin’s email had been a long one, detailing all the little things saved up in his heart that he never had the chance to tell you while still on Earth and all the little details of his voyage so far, the latter more than the first, and that was when you knew.

But a year wasn’t long enough for you to be sure. You were a good girlfriend so you waited, giving it more time, hoping that with time, you can learn to accept reality. But the next email came almost three years later when he was finally awake again. Moving on was harder than it sounded. It wasn’t an actual break up nor a death but a sort of limbo that your fiance might or might not return. You wanted so much to let him know but it never seemed appropriate to tell something so important via email so you waited for a video call chance.

Video calls are much harder. His crewmates would sometimes pop in and out of frame to say hello, teasing him in the background. But the worst part was the fact that Jin looked happy. He would talk on and on about the ship, the crews, the vast nothingness he could see out the window, none of which you cared for. He did not, in fact, ask anything about the life he left behind. The video calls were short, too, more static than anything else, so never a good time to bring up the subject of the one thing he should know about. But letting him know could cost him the project so you couldn’t do it, didn’t have the heart to.

When you’re on a spaceship that travels on hyperspeed, time completely changes between space and Earth. In his excitement, Jin had completely forgotten about this one important fact. And that was one of his many mistakes.

– – –

Hoseok, who knows more than the others, pulls their attention away from the captain. “Jin already said majority wins. So go back to your units and let us know in three days. We’ll decide from there. Meeting adjourned.”

The others left, talking among themselves but Jin remained at his seat. Hoseok stays next to him. He doesn’t speak, letting the older man decide for himself whether he wants to share whatever that was on his mind or not. Hoseok and Seokjin have been friends since high school, too long to even count the years now. He could tell right away this morning when Jin came into the kitchen that something was wrong and had been wrong for a while now, at least for this past month.

“Is it y/n?” Hoseok broaches, growing a tad bit impatient. If it is, then Hoseok can worry less. If it’s something to do with the mission then he should know about it, too.

Jin slowly looks up. His eyes are clouded over, making it hard for Hoseok to read his best friend. What in the world is he hiding? What is it?

Without speaking, Jin takes out his mobile pad from his belt, swipes around on it and then passes it over to Hoseok, looking down at his lap. The Chief Officer silently takes the device and looks at the screen. The first thing he sees is the sender’s name: y/n l/n. The body of the message is short. A simple, ‘I’m sorry, Seokjinie.’ There’s an attachment at the bottom and he taps on it. At the sight of the image, Hoseok whips back around to Jin.

“When did you get this?”

“Last month,” Jin croaks out, still looking down. When he speaks again, his voice breaks. “The further away we are from Earth, the longer it takes for messages to arrive.” The tears flow, dripping down Jin’s face and into his lap. He has yet to raise his head.

Hoseok looks back down to the picture. He recognises it, receiving the same one in his email at the same time Jin did, he bet. He hadn’t said anything to the captain, didn't know how. But Jin also had been quiet, too quiet, he thinks but if the man wasn’t ready to talk about it, Hoseok isn’t the type to push. Now, he thinks he should’ve.

Yes, the further away they move from Earth, the harder it is for any communication to happen between Command and the ship. It just takes longer for anything to arrive. Not only that, Freljord moves at the speed of light, warping the concept of time for all its crew. If Hoseok’s calculation is correct, this email is five years late, which means-

Jin’s crying grows harder, sobbing so hard he doubles over. Hoseok can only put one hand on the man’s back, rubbing up and down but not really doing much to calm his friend. Jin had never experienced such pain, his chest aching so much he wishes he could tear his skin off if it alleviates the hurt. Jin has always been good at bottling his feelings, he’s done it his whole life. He’s not an emotional person (wouldn’t be able to be an astronaut if he was).

When you were kids and he skinned his knees from falling over his bicycle, you were the one who cried while he stood there stoically as his mother slaps on a cartoon band aid. When Hoseok would get angry at him for hogging the PlayStation, he would just drop the controller in the midst of the boss battle so Hoseok can have a turn. When you were angry at him for something he had said, he had sat there calmly listening to you ranting at him why it was the wrong thing to say, mentally noting to not say it again. When you had broken down over the news of his acceptance to the Andromeda Project, his eyes had been dry.

But right now, it feels like the whole ship could go down and he wouldn’t give a fuck if it meant he would stop feeling this ripping pain. If a window of the ship had been breached, he would run towards it and lunge himself out. If there was anything on the manual about how to numb the agony coursing through his veins, he would tear out every nook and cranny of this ship to find it. But all he has is Hoseok, silently rubbing his back.

“I’m too late, Hoseok,” he keens, the note of his voice breaking Hoseok’s heart. “I’m too late. I was so stupid. So fucking stupid. I shouldn’t have come. I should’ve stayed behind. I should’ve been with her.”

But Hoseok’s not sure if time would reverse, Jin would choose differently. He knows the man too well. Space is all he has ever talked about, he’s sure even you knew that. Hoseok also knows that if Jin had decided to not go, you would’ve changed his mind. You love him too much to not let him live his dreams and Hoseok thinks it’s only fair for Jin to do the same. But he guesses the difference was that one had seen it coming long before while the other had been too blinded by passion. Neither was wrong, though, he thinks.

As Jin continues to bawl, loud enough for Yoongi to come back to the kitchen to check on the noise but retreat back out once he sees Jin, Hoseok looks back at the picture still on the screen of Jin’s communicator pad. The cream-coloured background with the gold emboss of the wedding invite stares prettily back at him. Hoseok wonders how old his niece and nephew are now.

– – –

The house is finally quiet, the only sound being the clinking of dishes as you wash them, humming to yourself softly to a song you can’t quite remember the title of nor the actual lyrics.

Every once in a while, you catch yourself looking up into the window above the sink and only seeing your reflection, the necklace around your neck glinting everytime it catches the light. The north star diamond rests just right on your sternum, lightly thudding against your bone whenever you move.

You’re lost in your own thoughts, your hands moving automatically, the sound of the tap water running a background noise. Your husband is already in bed; he’d had a long day at work. You’re sure that when you go up to bed, he’ll stir awake before pulling you to sleep in his arms. He told you once a long time ago, six months into the relationship, that he cannot sleep without you any longer. You’re his comfort then, his comfort now fifteen years later. But you probably won’t go straight to bed when you’re done with this.

You put the last dish on the rack and wipe your hands. The letter that came in today sits on the table in the hallway, untouched. You had taken one look at the logo stamped on the front left corner of the envelope and had almost dropped it, feeling like the piece of paper had burnt you. With shaky hands, you had picked it back up and placed it where it is now, hoping that when the recipient sees it, he’ll take care of it.

But he hadn’t so now you have to make sure that he does before he sleeps. You make your way up the steps, one hand running up the bannister, not for support but mostly because if you don’t have your hand on something solid, you’d feel like you might float away. The skylight installed years ago allows the bright light of the full moon to cascade down into the house, illuminating your way perfectly fine. You look up at the sky, noticing the tiny little sparkling stars and you can’t help but feel bittersweet, a sort of melancholy you thought would have faded in time. The letter is clutched in your other hand.

Up the stair, you make towards the first door on the left. You take a deep breath, send up a silent prayer and knock.

“Yeah?”

You open the door and peer in, finding your son sitting at his desk, his laptop opened. He leans over his chair to look at you, raising his eyebrows. “Yeah?”

“Can I come in?” you ask.

He nods. “Yeah, sure. ‘Sup?”

You walk in and look around the room. For a seventeen-year-old teenager, he’s pretty tidy, tidier than his twin sister, surprisingly. The many books on the shelves are arranged in order of genres; fiction, non-fiction, and school books. The fiction section consists of about fifteen books right at the bottom. Two-third of the tall shelves are full of non-fictions, mostly science related, almost all on space and astronomy. When he had expressed interest in that specific area, you had been hesitant, but you’re not one to stand in the way of the people you love. It has always been like that.

Above his bed, stuck to the ceiling, are a constellation of stars and planets, glowing green in the dim lighting. Among them is a rocket-shaped one.

That’s why when the letter came today, you knew what it was. Your heart and brain war against each other; one tells you to rip it up to miniscule pieces and throw them away, the other already knows you’ll do what’s right. Because you’ve done it before.

You sit on his bed, careful not to mess up the covers too much. The laundry basket is full and you point to it. “I told you to bring it down, didn’t I?”

Taejin pushes his chair away from the desk and swirls it around to face you. “You didn’t come here to lecture me about my laundry, omma, did you?”

You look at him, noticing that his hair is getting a little long around the ears, poking against his neck and fluffy at the top. Except for his eyes, he looks nothing like you and very much resembles his father more than anything. It’s a haunting image sometimes. There’s more of his father in him than just the look, apparently. You smile and shake your head. “No, I didn't.” You produce the letter. “I came to give you this. It arrived earlier today.”

His eyes light up before it dims again. He opens his mouth then closes it, shaking his head. “I was waiting for it but now I don’t know if I’m ready to know.”

You mull over his words, nodding to yourself. “But how long are you going to put it off? Even if you don't, time will still continue to flow, you know? It’s not going to stop just because you’re not ready.”

He looks a little confused, his head tilted to one side. You let out a soft laugh. “Look, Jinnie, if you get in, that’s great. If you don’t, it’s not the end of the world. You can choose another school, another programme.” You doubt the latter half of your words, knowing him well enough that it wouldn’t be that easy for him to give it up. “Or would you want me to look for you?”

He thinks about it before shaking his head. “No. I’ll do it.”

You hand him the letter, watching him tear it open with shaking fingers. He pulls out the piece of paper inside and unfolds it. He gives you one last look and you nod with encouragement. “It’s not the end of the world.”

He reads it, eyes going over the words with such speed before he looks up, eyes wide. Curious, you get up and stand next to him, reading the content of the letter from over his shoulder. A small part of you withered, noting that this is how it had started, too, back then. You beam at Taejin, ruffling his hair. “Congratulations, my little spaceman. You got in.”

While your daughter pursues music, your son follows his dream. As Areum debuted in a girl-group in South Korea, Taejin finishes his internship with the Aerospace Research Institute. As you cheer Areum at her first stadium concert, Taejin is wrapping up his initial training as an astronaut as one of the top trainees in line for the space mission, Andromeda II. On the day that Areum flies back from her Grammy performance show, she heads straight for ARI, breathless and still very much jetlag to say goodbye to her twin before his thirty days quarantine starts. She might not see him again, ever, but that’s something you did not mention to either of them.

Areum had to leave earlier, tear-stained face waving goodbye from the door, unable to actually leave. You watch as Taejin gives her one last, long hug, the kind of hug that clearly communicates the amount of love he has for her, the kind of hug people give when they know it might be the final goodbye. She leaves then, hiccuping and sobbing, and you wished you had left with her. But not yet, you still have one last thing for your son, a parting gift.

“I want you to have something,” you say, unclasping the necklace from around your neck and placing it in his palm, closing his fingers onto it. “I want you to hold on to this for me, okay?”

Taejin looks close to tears. “But, omma. I know how precious this necklace is to you. Are you sure? Shouldn’t you be giving this to Areum instead?”

You smile at him. “I have something else for her, don’t worry. I want you to wear it, always.”

He doesn’t ask questions but puts it around his own neck, placing it safely inside his T-shirt. “Will Jackson be okay with you giving me this?” he laughs, only jesting.

You shake your head. “It wasn’t from him.”

He looks surprised.

You let out a soft sigh. “Taejin-ah,” you say, trying to arrange your words carefully. “Do you remember that astronaut story I used to tell you when you were little? The one that went on to travel the universe, in search of his north star?”

He nods hesitantly, probably the memory of the story faded with time. “I can recall bits and pieces. Why?”

“Well, what if I tell you he had been a real person?”

Taejin stares at you. “What do you mean?”

Suddenly, the intercom in the lounge room crackles to life and a disembodied voice echoes throughout the whole arena. “Five minutes until quarantine starts. All trainees are required to check in at seventeen hundred hours.” The announcement is repeated once more and you grip Taejin’s hand, your heart breaking. How many times can it break the same way in a lifetime?

“Listen to me,” you say, speaking urgently. “You told me that your mission is to-”

“Converge with the crew of the first Andromeda mission on Planet-”

“Yes, that,” you interject, waving for him to stop. Time is running out. “There’s someone on that mission that I want you to find, someone who will recognise the necklace I gave you.”

“Someone other than Uncle Hoseok?”

You nod and smile but the tears are creeping down your cheeks. Taejin catches them with his fingers but you ignore him, ignore the tears. “When you find him, you’d know. All the questions you’ve been asking me that I couldn’t answer will be answered, I promise you.”

The announcement reverberates through the air one more time and the whole room flutters with activity as family members and friends and loved ones of those taking off next month hurry to leave or give one last hug or kiss.

Taejin looks a little lost. “I don’t understand what you’re saying. What are you-”

“Trust me, okay? Wear the necklace always and you’ll know when you find him,” you repeat, getting up and pulling away but your son wouldn’t let go of your hands.

“Omma, please,” he begs. “I need more explanation. Why tell me this now?”

You manage to free your hands from his grasp, the tears blurring your vision. You pull him in for one last hug and hold his head in place as you place a kiss on his forehead. “I love you, Taejinnie. All I did was out of love. Tell Hoseok I love him and miss him so much. We all do. Tell them all about us.”

Taejin relents, letting go of you and finally moving towards the door that will take him and the others inside the building to be quarantined pre-flight. He has his suspicions on who you meant but the name was never mentioned, or it was in the story you’ve told that he had thought fiction. But that was a story when he was a child, something that’s only a vague memory in his head. Now, he racks his brain for it.

For the next thirty days of quarantine, Taejin obsesses over remembering the name. In a bout of desperation, he manages to pull up the name list of all the crews of the Freljord, the predecessor ship of the one he will embark on. He doesn’t have to look far, the name jumping out to him on the first line, noticing the similarity immediately. Captain Kim Seokjin. To confirm it, he finds a picture of the commanding officers of that spaceship and he almost falls over his chair.

It’s like staring at a picture of himself. The father that he had been looking for all this time, the father that he had given up asking about by the time he was eight, is one of the men that he is going to meet in another galaxy. He grabs ahold of your necklace, his fist wrapping around the north star diamond.

“I’m coming,” he whispers to himself, his fingers rubbing against the diamond softly. “Please be there. I'm coming to find you.”

a/n2: I might have ended this a little too abruptly but I was running out of motivation lol lmk what you think of this one shot in the comment or ask. Like and reblog will be much appreciated :)

Check out my other works → :MASTERLIST:

#bts jin #kim seokjin #kim seokjin x you #bts one shot #kim seokjin one shot #jin one shot #bts ksj #bts angst #jin fanfic #bts fanfic #jin x reader #jin astronaut #bts sci fi

194 notes · View notes

honeyuuyuu · 2 years ago

Text

scary outfit haha

idk how to add in the “SR” symbols and stuff so :’)))

I decided to do a corpse bride like halloween costume for Honey! :DD

Instagram ✎ Devianart ✎ Reblogs help! ^^

Summon: “The library has more dubious looking books during Halloween... I wonder if they house any curses within these old, cryptic pages...”

Groovy: “Oh, that poor corpse bride... I would like her to know that she is just as beautiful as ‘Little Miss Living’.”

Set Home: “I’ve never been ‘Trick-or-Treating’ before... Hope we have fun.”

Home Idle 1: “I’ve never celebrated Halloween before, nor have I ever worn a spooky outfit. I’m quite excited, actually! Azul said he can help with that, but I don’t really trust him...”

Home Idle 2: “I ate one of Trey’s special batches of Halloween cookies. He said the ingredients are kept a secret and I would only know it if I was in the Clover Family... how suspicious...”

Home Idle 3: “Seeing dirt being kicked into Ace’s mouth reassures me. He ended up whining to me about the whole thing with Deuce apologizing to him. Sigh...”

Home Login: “You know, Halloween is actually about the beginning of the ancient winters. It’s supposed to be solemn, so it’s quite ironic Halloween is so festive in NRC.”

Home Idle Groovy: “Boo! Was I scary? I really want to get into the ‘creeps’!”

Home Tap 1: “Sorry, I don’t have any candy on me...”

Home Tap 2: “Scarabia’s fluffy werewolf outfits are really cute! Wonder if we would kill it in those outfits, too”

Home Tap 3: “...I look scary? Sorry... Trey just told me another cheesy joke. The nerve...”

Home Tap 4: “The complimentary bowl of candy at the service counter of Monstro Lounge is salted caramel flavor! Want one?”

Home Tap 5: “We should go to the library and read some scary ghost stories! I heard that’s a way to celebrate Halloween with family and peers!”

Home Tap Groovy: “Eh? You wanna take a picture with me? I’m a little bashful, not going to lie... hehe...”

256 notes · View notes

princehrry-writings · 3 years ago

Text

Who's Chris Evans?

hey guys!! i've had this in my drafts for ages and i just finished it so here you go!!!!!

warnings: maybe a swear? revealing a relationship... idk. it's just fluffy

wordcount: 1284

masterlist

you're on the late late show and you're also married to chris.

“When did you and Chris first meet?”

James Corden leaned in a little as you thought back to the first time you ever met the man in question.

“Y/n, Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan are here to see the show tonight. Do you want me to bring them backstage?” Your tour manager asked, walking with you as you went to take your mark.

“Sebastian Stan is here?” You stopped walking, eyes blown wide. Sebastian Stan as in… you’re favorite character from Gossip Girl… was here? At your show?

“And Chris Evans, yes.” He said.

“Who’s Chris Evans?” You asked, continuing on your way backstage so you could walk up the stairs onto the stage.

“You know that new comic book movie, Captain America? He’s playing Captain America.” He explained and it clicked. You had seen the advertisements about the new movie and the preview clip at the end of the Iron Man movie.

Wow, they were here? That’s crazy.

“Yeah, bring them back!” You said right as you were running out onto the stage, your first song beginning.

* .

Once the show was over, you came backstage, prepared to sit down and chill out. Walking into your dressing room where your mom, manager, and a few crew members where, you flopped on the couch, completely exhausted.

The door opening didn’t catch your attention. Your tour manager walking in didn’t catch your attention. But hearing him clear his throat and introduce the two people he brought with him certainly did.

“Y/n, this is Chris and Sebastian!” He said and you shot up out of your seat, extending your hand to shake. A smile graced your face as you looked at the two very attractive men standing before you.

“Hi! I’m Y/n, it’s really nice to meet you guys!” You said, feeling your heart skip a couple beats.

Introductions were made and you all sat down, having a conversation, laughing at jokes and becoming closer than you thought possible for one night.

“Oh, I should take this…” Sebastian trailed off. Before he left, you caught sight of the name on his screen and saw it was Leighton Meester. You tried not to freak out because she is your absolute favorite character on Gossip Girl.

It was just you and Chris left. He moved a little closer to you but you didn’t think anything of it. All night, you had felt a spark between the two of you but you didn’t think he would feel the same way so you kind of just brushed it off. That is until he speaks up after a moment of silence.

“You know, Y/n… I’m gonna kick myself if I don’t do this. I think you’re really cool and I was wondering if maybe you’d want to grab dinner sometime or something?”

“Yeah, he asked me out and honestly the rest is history. We’ve been together ever since!” You finished your story, hearing the crowd begin to cheer.

“That was how long ago now?” He followed up.

“That was uh… that was 11 years ago. Damn.”

“So, you’ve been tied down for 11 years now and nobody’s known?” You giggle as the crowd gasps and laughs, nodding your head. You look over to the wings of the set and see Chris with a beaming smile on his face, waiting for his cue to come out.

“Yeah! It hasn’t been easy but it’s been nice to have a place I could escape to. I’ve seen so many great things be torn apart by the media and I didn’t want my relationship to be added to that list, so we just chose not to make it public knowledge.”

“How did you manage that?”

“There was a lot of going in through back doors and leaving the house in different cars just to go to the same place. A lot of “no pictures please” and “don’t post any of this.” Like I said, it hasn’t been easy.” You sighed, spinning the ring on your finger as a comfort tactic.

“We actually have Chris here, if he would like to come on out and join Y/n on the couch!” The man announced, crowd erupting into loud cheers and screams. He comes out from behind the curtain with that same smile on his face, waving to the crowd and the cameras.

You stood up to greet him with a smile and a kiss.

“Hi baby,” He smiled at you, pulling you into him tightly, pressing a tender kiss to your lips before releasing you to sit back down. He shakes James' hand before sitting as close to you as he can and resting his hand on your thigh, resting your hand over his. His other arm curls around the back of the couch over your shoulder. You hear a collective awe from the crowd and smile, looking over at him and catching his gaze.

He sends a wink your way, loving the way your face heats up even after all this time.

“You two are just the cutest!” James cries, pulling you out of your daze and you look back over to him, seeing a gleaming grin on his face. He was very happy the two of you had finally decided to come out with your relationship. He'd been a friend of yours for a few years and was excited you chose his show to be the platform you broadcasted the news on.

Chris giggled and leaned over to peck your cheek a few times, causing your face to burn even more than it already was.

“So, Y/n is it true that Chris is actually a co-writer on your latest album? Under a pseudonym?” James asks, moving on from fawning over the two of you.

“Yeah, actually! Uh, with the lockdown, I didn’t want to go into it saying “Alright, it’s time to make the next album.” I kind of just sat back and said whatever happens will happen and one day I walked into the music room we have in our house and Chris was playing the guitar and humming this tune and I immediately heard what would end up being the finished version of Slow Burn.” I explained, looking over to see if Chris wanted to add anything.

“I had never done anything in the songwriting realm before that. I had always wanted to leave that to her and let it be her thing, so when she asked me to write the song with her it was kind of nerve wracking. Cause there I was, writing a song with a Grammy Award winning songwriter. It was very intimidating!” He said, bragging about your accomplishments like he always did. He’s a very proud husband.

“Well now, Chris, you are also a Grammy Award winning songwriter! Golden Hour won Album Of The Year, didn’t it?” James looks between the two of you with a small smile.

“It did, yeah!” He smiled, looking over at you.

“How many is that for you now Y/n?”

“Uh… that’s a good question.” The crowd laughed, causing a giggle to erupt from you. “11 I think… Yeah, 11.”

“11 Grammy Awards?!” James’ eyes bugged out. You nodded, a blush blooming on your skin. Chris giggled as you hid your face in his neck and the audience followed suit, giggling at how adorable the two of you were.

“Chris, you've got yourself a very talented lady here!” Chris looked over at you with a look you saw often in his eyes. You saw it every day actually, he was telling you he loved you without really having to say it because after all this time the two of you just knew.

“I do, I really do!”

#chris evans x reader #chris evans x singer!reader #chris evans #chris evans x you #cevans #chris evans fluff #husband!chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans one shot #x reader #chris evans imagine #marvel #steve rogers x reader #curtis everett x reader #jake jensen x reader #ari levinson x reader #ransom drysdale x reader

892 notes · View notes

jeonggukookies · 3 years ago

Text

too young || six

summary: you and jungkook meet up after a surprise delivery happens at the school

word count: 2,018

genre: parent!au, single dad!jungkook angst

one || two || three || four || five || six

When you thought about your first heartbreak, you’d thought you would be nonstop sobbing in your bed, being surrounded by empty jars of melted ice cream pints and sad movies. You thought that despite the distance, your mom would make the trip and drive all the way to see you, rub your back in small comforting circles and take care of you as if you were a sick child. You thought that everything would hurt so much that you wouldn’t even want to move.

The only problem? Your first heartbreak didn’t feel like that at all.

It was all practically numb.

You didn’t fall apart when you did something that reminded you of him.

You didn’t start breaking down when you watched him pick up Jules and didn’t bother to come in to your office to say hi to you.

You didn’t crumble to pieces when you had no notifications on your phone from him.

You lived your life normally again just without Jungkook and Jules.

Alone.

There were no more screams or echoes of noise from Jules and her cousins when you peacefully relaxed, there was no more idle music playing in background as you did your work and there were no more soft breaths and snores next to you in your bed.

Your mom called you every night on the phone, checking up on you. It was like she wanted you to cry and to feel some pain, just so she could go down there and be there for you. But you told her that you were fine and will deal with whatever negative feelings when they come.

Life went on whether you liked it or not.

Three weeks after the break up, at the end of March, there was a familiar knock on your office door after the last school bell rang. You haven’t talked to Jules since the night she found you looking at pictures of her mom, and you really hope it wasn’t awkward when you talk to her.

It’s the first time you see Jules’s hair was down, strands of her hair going in every direction. She looks like a mess. Tears streamed down her face as she ran towards you, hugging your legs. “Can you help me?”

“What’s wrong, Sweetie?”

“I lost Jungkook’s mp3 player,” she cried, rubbing her face on your black dress pants to wipe her tears. “He’s going to kill me!”

“It’s okay, Jules.” Bending down to comfort her, you wipe her face and stroke her hair. You’ve never seen her this sad, and it made your heart sink. “I’m sure he’ll understand. Things like this happen all the time. It’s okay.”

She shook her head. “Auntie Moon Soo is coming soon, and I can’t leave without the mp3 player. I can’t.”

“Why don’t we ask her to come look for it with you?” You asked softly. “That way 3 people are looking for it.”

Namjoon’s wife, Moon Soo comes out of her van, she’s surprised to see you standing next to Jules. She doesn’t say anything to you at first and tries to reassure Jules that’ll be alright, that they will find it before Jungkook goes home tonight.

When it’s been over 30 minutes, retracing Jule’s steps from her locker to the gym to the playground, she goes to the bathroom, making you and Moon Soo wait outside for her.

“I’m sorry we had to meet like this in this circumstance,” she said, offering a kind smile. “I heard a lot of great things about you, and I’m sorry things didn’t go well at the dinner with the girls.”

You hear Jules flush the toilet. “It is what it is.”

“I know what it was like,” she said. “They made it seem like I wasn’t good enough for Joon, and we took a small break too. But at the end of the day, it’s about how you feel about Jungkook and Jules that matters more than their opinions, especially if they brought up Sarah.”

“I’m almost done!” Jules shouted, turning on the sink.

“But that doesn’t change the way Jungkook feels about Sarah.” Tears were forming in your eyes, and you bit your lip to hold them back. “But I’m glad you and Namjoon were able to overcome it.”

“It’s been like what, almost a month? Jules knows Jungkook can easily buy her a new mp3 player, or even a phone, anything she wants, honestly. But think about it...I’m sure she misses you and is using this as an opportunity to spend time with you again.”

“Can we check out my classroom?” Jules finally opened the door, getting out of the restroom.

The three of you walk quietly over to her class where she looked through every desk (without touching their things) and looked over to the place where she reads books in the class. She lifted the bean bag in the corner of the room, revealing what she has been looking for this whole time. “Yay!”

“See, everything is okay.” Moon soo smiled. “Are you ready to go, Jules?”

She nodded, but then stared at you with her piercing eyes. “Is this going to be the last time you’re going to talk to me?”

“Of course not, Jules.” You took a breath. “I’m here for you always.”

“I have to tell you something.” But before she could tell you, she pointed at Moon Soo. “Why didn’t you go to the bathroom when we went, Auntie?”

Moon Soo raised her eyebrows, then looked down at what Jules was pointing at. She then began holding on to her stomach with a pained look. “My water just broke.”

_______

“Hey!” Namjoon exclaimed, rushing through the hospital doors. Before he goes to Moon Soo’s room, he went towards your direction as you waited outside the room with Jules. “Thank you so much for bringing her here safely and for being there for her at that time. I seriously cannot thank you enough.”

“No worries,” you let out. “I’m glad I was there.”

He’s about to say something, but you hear Moon Soo scream Namjoon’s name, making him go into the room as quickly as he can.

Your phone in your blazer buzzed.

[seokjin]

the whole fam is coming in about 10 minutes

thank you for taking care of jules

will be there soon and you can leave

“Are you leaving when they come?” Jules asked as she looked down at your phone screen, seeing the texts from. “You’re not going to stay to see the babies?”

“I don’t know yet.” You lied, knowing you were going to leave once someone is here able to take care and watch over Jules. As much as you wanted to see the twins, you didn’t want to see some specific people. You were doing fine right now in your life and didn’t want to ruin that if you saw Jungkook or some of the girls. “I have a lot of work to do still, Sweetheart.”

“Will you see the babies with me on different day then?”

“I hope so.” You couldn’t make an empty promise to her. “Are you excited to have more cousins?”

She nodded. “I like my small family, but sometimes, I hate being alone. The cousins help me forget that I can’t have any brothers or sisters.”

You sighed, wrapping your arm around Jules. “Never forget that you will always have your family, your uncles, aunts and cousins to support you. They will always be there.”

“Will you?” She asked, looking up at you, once again, her eyes were so piercing.

“I hope so.” You rubbed her back in small circles.

“I heard what Auntie said when I was in the bathroom,” she said. “I missed you, but I had to find this mp3 player. Jungkook’s new song is on here. I’m always the first to listen, and I didn’t want to lose this song.”

“That’s good you found it then.”

She’s about to tell you more, her mouth is slightly opened, but she doesn’t say anything more and started to stare in the direction behind you. Letting go of her, you turned behind, seeing Jungkook walking towards you two.

He paused, not expecting to see you here, but then continued to walk forward as you looked away, not wanting to meet his eyes. “Are you okay?”

“I’m hungry,” Jules answered with a pouty look on her face.

He laughed, taking his leather wallet out of his back pocket. He hands her a couple dollar bills, telling her to get something for the three of them from the vending machine. “Go crazy.”

“You know I will,” she joked.

There’s awkward silence in the air now, with Jules gone. Jungkook then sat down in the empty chair beside you, with his head turned to you as you looked down at your hands in your lap. He doesn’t know where to start and what words to say. How ironic, coming from a songwriter. “Hey.”

“Hi.”

“Did you eat yet?” He asked.

“Nope,” you replied, still not looking at him. “Did you?”

“Not yet.”

“I should get going.” You finally took the first step, grabbing your purse off the ground.

Before you could take another step, Jungkook reached forward and grabbed your wrist, stopping your movement. “I never loved her, you know.”

You wanted to shake him off, go on your own way, but you kept standing in front of him, facing away from him. “What?”

He sighed, wishing he could look you in the eyes. “I never answered you that day because I was too scared to admit it out loud. I never got to tell her either, and I knew she loved me. The thing was I only thought of her as a sister, someone I had to protect. And I was afraid that if I actually told someone that I didn’t love her before she got the chance to hear it from me, I would somehow hurt her even though she’s gone.”

“Jungkook,” You said this name, but he kept talking.

“I know that’s no excuse, but I am so sorry. I never wanted you to feel like that, and I should have just told you. No one has been competing with you.” He let go of your hand and stood up. “I don’t want you to be Sarah because I love you for who you are. I want you for who you are. My life feels incomplete without you.”

Finally turning around, you stared at Jungkook. It’s the first time finally looking at him up close in three weeks, and he looked like death. Dark circles were under his eyes, his hair was a mess. You could tell Jungkook felt too much.

And he did. For the last three weeks, he got up every morning, trying to ignore the pain he was feeling in his heart. He tried to continue his life like everything was okay, but all he kept thinking about was you. He wanted you to see you when he picked Jules up from school. He wanted to hear you laugh when he watched a movie with Jules. He wanted to you next to him when he was alone on Wednesdays. He wanted to hear you cheer for Jules when he watched her soccer games. He just wanted you.

With all the pain he had been feeling, he’s been trying to figure out his feelings and all the words he wanted to say to you that night, and now that he was finally letting all of it go, he was crying right in front of you.

“You saw me more than Jule’s guardian. I felt like you were the first person to honestly see me for me. I want to live spending more time with you, watching Jules’s games, hearing all your different opinions and views than mine. And I am so sorry that I damaged us in the process.”

“Hey, Y/N!” Namjoon rushed out of the room. His jaw dropped once he saw you and Jungkook together, looking all sad. Still, his smile on his face reappeared as he asked, “Do you guys want to see the babies?”

____

hi this is so long overdue i apologize, i’ve honestly been stuck :( hope you all have a good day and enjoy permission to dance<33 lowkey not proofread either:/

#bangtanwriters-net #jeon jungkook #bts scenarioos #jungkook scenarios #jungkook imagine #jungkook fluff #jeon jungkook scenarios #bts fanfic #jungkook fanfic #too young

319 notes · View notes