#I should have been doing crazier stuff as a teen

[env0]

Hashira Trick Training - 540 Spin Hook

[cherienymphe]

yeah i don’t personal see the appeal with rafe and kiara….i feel like people like to use kiara as a self-insert and also there’s like this obsession with enemies to lovers. but i just don’t see it realistically happening, mainly because he’s already choked her out and tried to drown her to death (maybe if the show was a dark fic lmao) and he’s done so much fucked up shit to pope i don’t think she would do that to him or he would forgive her for that. plus drew in an interview said the age gap is creepy and idek the characters’ ages so I’ll just take his word for it. i just don’t think it fits with her character like everyone said there was tension in they’re scenes and to me i saw it as her just being scared lol and also just trying not to get killed by him. i honestly think the only reason she got paired with him in that kidnapping thing was to just feed the riara shippers just a little bit to keep them watching the show cuz there’s been shippers since season 1 spamming the writers’ pages and now they’re even more unhinged and i think the writers will give them like random scenes together in the next seasons just to kind of throw those shippers a bone but they won’t actually do anything with the ship. but hey this is a silly little boat show and half of the stuff that happens is not realistic so i could be wrong. i also read that they’re gonna keep Sofia as his girlfriend for the next season and i’m not crazy about that relationship cuz there was barely much of it but i think it’ll be interesting to develop it more. honestly i don’t care if rafe gets a consistent romantic love interest or not, but i think it would be funny if he were to meet a girl who was just as crazy as him or even crazier, kind of like a “met your match” kind of thing. anyways this was a long rant but yeah i agree that if they were gonna do riara they should have done it/started developing it a long time ago because now it just doesn’t make sense and i don’t see their friend group surviving that.

I mean they've had moments since season 1 that gave people ideas. This isn't something people just pulled out of their ass I don't think. When I first watched it I, along with so many others, clocked that he called her Kie, something mostly reserved for her friends and I can see why that would make people think they had a history. Actors' opinions on ships rarely mean much to me but a 2 year gap between teenagers (especially teens within the same age group 17-19) is unimportant to me. Of course if there was a real chance of them being together, I would prefer if it happened when she was a little older.

And hey I don't mind being thrown a bone of fan service because then I get people like riaranation on tiktok putting together the best edits I've ever seen 😭

[akumatizedpuns]

Hello, your Courtney Defense Post was shown on my dashboard and I thought it was a very good analysis. Funny thing is that shortly after reblog it I received an anon in my inbox asking me "Why do you hate Gwen from Total Drama so much?". I found it hilarious because, dude, I'm not even in this fandom and I actually remember when I used to watch the show Gwen was actually one of my favorite characters. Yeah, I also like Courtney and ship Duncney, but why would that mean I hate Gwen? "so much" on top of that! because I rebloged ONE post where you recognize flaws in the character? And as I said, I'm not even in the fandom, what were they doing in my inbox? are they stalking the notes on your post? how creepy, is that normal in this fandom?

Hi! @dg-darkfantasy so this definitely isn't normal amongst the fandom. Most of us are in our mid-late to late teens or are very young adults atp.

I'm over 99% sure that's the anon who has been spamming my inbox with graphic death threats and just hateful racist stuff in general. Feel free to block them, bc I doubt they're going to just stop on their own. Some anons are going about it in a calmer way, but still asking me why I hate Gwen (even though I don't/never said I did).

Gwen fans have always been a little crazier than any other, but not all of them are like this and the TD fandom definitely isn't like this on a whole.

I'm glad you liked my analysis, though! I feel like it's important to spread awareness about the biased writing during that time and how it still affects the reception certain characters recieve to this day. But even though I know I probably should have I deadass did not expect so much racism in my inbox. It's literally so insane that people are still THIS hateful because of the color of a person's (in this case a fictional person's) skin.

[skeeter-110]

Just Dropping in

Tony Stark was all alone. Which was fine, he knew that's how it was going to be when he purposely disappeared years ago. He was prepared to be alone once everything fell apart. What he wasn't prepared for, though, was a teen boy in red pajamas breaking into his apartment and bleeding out on his couch.

Remix of Apartment 43B by ironfamjam for the @irondadremix

Read on AO3

Tony was awake in a flash when he heard a loud crash and bang coming from his living room. He sat up in bed for a second, waiting and listening to try and figure out what the noise was.

It didn’t take long for him to hear footsteps shuffling around and for it to dawn on him that someone had broken into his apartment.

A thousand different thoughts began to run through his head as he scrambled out of bed; a thousand different scenarios of what truly could be happening.

Had someone found him? Were they here to kidnap and hold him for ransom? If they were they were going to be extremely disappointed when they realized that no one was going to actually pay to save Tony.

As quietly as he could, Tony grabbed the crowbar he kept in his toolbox - thankful that he forgot to put his toolbox back in his workshop - and began to creep down the hallway.

Tony was fully expecting to see a group of men trying to rob him of all he had, but what Tony wasn’t expecting was a body just laying there on his couch.

Carefully, Tony approached the person, holding the crowbar up in a defensive position just in case it was a trap and the person was just pretending so they could attack.

When he got closer though, it wasn’t hard to see what was wrong.

The Spider-Man that Tony has been seeing all over the news and internet - that Tony had been keeping recent tabs on - was lying there unconscious and bleeding out on his couch.

“Oh, shit.” Tony breathes out once the image clicks in his brain.

Tossing the crowbar to the side, Tony all but ran over to the vigilante’s side, looking him over to try and see what exactly was wrong. Although, the blood pooling around the guy’s leg and seeping into Tony’s couch was a big giveaway.

“Alright, guy, don’t punch me for this, but you need help and I can’t do that with your clothes in the way,” Tony mumbles as he turns the living room light on.

Spider-Man didn’t even stir as the light filtered through the room, which both settled and unsettled Tony; it settled him because at least he wasn’t going to have to strip this guy and fix him up while he was awake, but it also unsettled him because the guy could very well be more than just unconscious.

Slowly, in case he had a head injury, Tony took off Spider-Man’s mask - if you ever wanted to call it that - gasping a bit when he saw the man underneath. Or, rather, the boy.

“Ah, shit. Of course, he’s a child because why wouldn’t he be?” Tony curses before shaking his head to snap out of it.

Quickly and gently, Tony began to take the make-shift superhero suit off of the teen, stopping short when he got to the gear on the kid’s wrists. The scientist in him couldn’t help but look over the cartridges, noticing that they were now empty.

"Well, that explains the webbing. Somehow I don't know if it’s better knowing that stuff isn’t coming out of him or not.” Tony mumbles to himself as he continued to strip the vigilante, cringing when he got to the teen’s leg and saw that’s where the worst of it was coming from.

Tony got up and went into his bathroom, praying the kid would stay asleep while he grabbed his first aid kit. The last thing he needed was for the kid to wake up and freak out.

Tony was just thankful that he's had one too many late-night workshop accidents and knew exactly how to stitch someone up

“Stay asleep. Please, stay asleep.” Tony begs as he approaches Spider-man once again, hoping and praying the kid didn’t wake up while he was in the middle of putting him back together.

Tony continued to repeat those same words as he worked, thankful that whatever higher power that’s out there heard him and kept Spider-Man completely unconscious.

After checking the kid’s pulse and confirming that yes he was still alive and didn’t have any other life-threatening injuries, Tony pulled the throw blanket off the back of the couch and used it to cover Spider-man up.

Tony stood there for a bit, just staring and marveling at how young the vigilante really was. Tony quickly concluded that there was no way the hero knew what he was doing and that he might as well help him out in more ways than one.

Going to the bathroom, Tony began preparing a whole separate first-aid kit for the teen to take with him whenever he left. He made sure to put everything the kid could need, hoping that it would be enough in the future.

Looking at the time after he finished, Tony sighed and began heading back to his bedroom, figuring that he might as well get a few more hours of sleep before having to deal with what would inevitably be one of the most disastrous mornings of his life.

*   *   *

When he woke up, Tony actually almost forgot completely what had happened a few hours prior. Almost.

That bliss didn’t last long though because once he was fully awake, the memories began to flood through his mind.

Tony just groaned and threw his arm over his eyes, giving himself two more peaceful seconds before forcing himself out of bed to check on the body on his couch.

Sure enough, when he got out to the living room, Spider-man was still lying there on his couch fast asleep.

Tony walked over to the teenager, checking his pulse one more time before going into the kitchen to start the coffee pot up. It was way too early to be dealing with any of this without at least three cups of caffeine in his system.

While waiting for his coffee to finish brewing, Tony tried to think about where to go from here. Should he wake the kid up? There has to be someone out there looking for him, right?

So many different questions and thoughts were running through Tony’s head, and not for the first time, the idea of getting charged for kidnapping crossed Tony’s mind.

After all, if someone really was looking for Spider-man, it would be extremely difficult to explain how he got in Tony’s apartment without some sort of kidnapping allegation popping up.

After finishing up his first cup of coffee, Tony figured that the kid was going to be asleep for a little while longer so he began heading to his bedroom - not without his second cup of coffee though - to get dressed and ready for the day.

Hearing groaning coming from the living room, Tony made sure to make it quick, walking back out to see Spider-Man staring down at his bandaged leg with confusion.

"Morning Spider-Man.” Tony greets, leaning against the entryway with a faux nonchalance. The teen in return let out a very childish manly squeal and tried to cover himself up more with the throw blanket Tony had given him.

Tony could help but snort in amusement as Spider-Man began to look him up and down. For a split second, Tony worried that Spider-Man recognized him from before he disappeared, but the moment passed when the kid’s eyes began to dart around the rest of the apartment.

“Who the heck are you? Where’s Harry?” Spider-Man questions. Tony just took another sip of his coffee, hoping that if he stayed calm about this whole thing then Spider-Man would stay calm also.

“I don’t know who ‘Harry’ is, but I’m Tony.” Tony introduced, staring at Spider-Man for a bit longer as he tried to decide what his next move should be. Anything that could avoid getting charges pressed against him by whoever “Harry” was. “But the real question is who are you? Considering you just broke into my apartment in the middle of the night and then passed out on my couch - you left an impressive bloodstain, by the way. It was pretty gross.”

“Oh my god.” Spider-Man groaned before burying his face in his hands. Tony watched the exact moment that panic began to set in Spider-Man, noticing when his breathing began to pick up a bit.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it. Crazier shit’s happened to me, trust me.” Tony tries to reassure, walking over towards the teen with his hands up, trying to placate him like he was some wild animal. Considering Tony isn't really around teenagers very often, he might as well be.

Spider-Man removed his hands, looking up at Tony with wide and slightly terrified eyes. Tony could understand why he was terrified, though.

Here he was sitting in a random man’s apartment, injured, and said random man now knew who he truly was. It was a terrifying situation, especially for someone so young.

“And don’t worry about your secret identity. I can keep a secret.” Tony adds, miming zipping up his lips and making sure to grin comfortingly after.

Spider-Man just continued to stare Tony down with a wary look before looking back down at his injured leg. Tony watched as the teen lightly touched the bandages before wrapping the blanket tighter around. Slowly but surely, Spider-Man looked back up at Tony and began to relax back into the couch.

Once Tony was sure the teen wasn’t about to have a breakdown he got up and went into the kitchen, preparing another cup of coffee. The kid sure looked like he could use a couple of cups.

“Thanks.” Spider-Man quietly says as he takes the offered cup out of Tony’s hands.

“I can’t survive a day without at least three cups so I can’t imagine what it’s like for a super kid,” Tony says just to ease a bit of the awkwardness and to have something to talk about other than the big elephant in the room.

"You’d be surprised how much energy I’ve got. My Aunt considered buying me a hamster wheel when I was younger just so I could run it all off. Now I’m more of a hot chocolate kinda guy.” Spider-Man jokes making Tony chuckle. The kid was charming, that’s for sure.

“Well, if you’re going to be stopping bad guys, all that pep must come in handy. A full stomach probably helps, you hungry?” Tony offers, figuring the whole conversation about “why” would go over a bit smoother if the kid had something in his system.

Instead, Spider-Man quickly threw his legs over the side of the couch and attempted to stand up.

“Hey, hey, you gotta go easy on that leg of yours. It’s very delicately put back together.” Tony says when Spider-Man ends up hunching over and hissing from the pain.

Quickly Tony sat his cup on the table and gently put his hands on Spider-man’s shoulders, easing him back down onto the couch. Once the teen was sitting again, Tony examined the bandage, noticing that blood was beginning to seep through it.

“Yeah, that probably needs to be changed.” Tony sighs to himself, thankful that he left the first-aid kit out in the living room last night. Tony had a sneaking suspicion that Spider-Man would try and escape if he was left alone.

Tony made sure to be quick when unwrapping the bandages, unsure if the sight would make the kid queasy; to be honest he didn’t want to find out. It was already bad enough there was a bloodstain on the couch, Tony doesn’t need to add throw-up to the mix.

“Wow. Mine never look like that,” Spider-Man says, admiring the work done on his leg. “Are you a doctor?”

“Oh, God, no. All that schooling? No thanks. I’ve just picked up a few things. Some of it comes in handy. Though, I admit, I never thought I’d be doing this.” Tony absentmindedly says, his main focus on cleaning around the stitching without hurting the kid.

“I’m sorry again.” Spider-Man apologies, although Tony wasn’t really focused on that because his words from a split second ago finally sunk in.

“Wait- did you just say you do this yourself?” Tony asks, a bit horrified at the idea of someone so young and untrained trying to professionally stitch themselves up.

“Only sometimes! And it’s fine because I heal really fast so it never really matters. I’m fine.” Spider-Man defends. All Tony could do was stare blankly at the teen, not even knowing where to begin with that one.

“I’m exhausted just hearing that,” Tony deadpans before returning back to Spider-Man’s leg. “And you’re lucky I got to this when I did. I don’t even want to think about you going at something as messy as this.” Tony says, shuddering a bit at the thought.

“Yeah… I’m sorry you had to deal with me yesterday. Last night was… it was really stupid. And I couldn’t get away without coming here. My friend Harry lives here and I thought I got the right apartment, but, obviously, I’m really bad at counting or something. It’s just - this place looks so much like his that I never even noticed.” Spider-Man rambles. Tony just sat there and listened with amusement, trying to take everything the teen was saying in.

“But, really, Mr. uh, Mr. Tony, it was totally an accident and I’ll cover the washing costs for your couch if that isn't too gross. I could buy you a new one too! But, that might take a while ‘cause it looks expensive and the paper pays me the absolute lowest they possibly can, but I’ll try my best.” Spider-Man continues, his tone of voice getting more and more frantic as he went.

“Woah, kid, take a breath. It’s fine. You’re fine. Who hasn’t broken into a stranger’s house and passed out on their couch? It’s a coming of age experience.” Tony tries to soothe, hoping his teasing tone would be enough to settle the teen.

“And don’t worry about the couch. All the furniture is a rental from the complex; that’s why your friend’s stuff and mine look the same. Guess we’re both too lazy to decorate ourselves.” Tony says, giving the bandages one last tug.

“Well, he just moved out of his dad’s place, so that was probably the last thing on his mind, to be honest,” Spider-Man explains, reminding Tony of why he never even bothered to get new furniture in his place.

Because when he first moved in here, when everything was falling apart and Tony wanted nothing more than to run like a coward and disappear, the last thing on his mind was getting new furniture also.

Tony quickly snaps out of the memory, taking care of the bandages around him.

“I bet he isn’t as good at making omelets as I am. You like peppers?” Tony pushes past the moment, standing up to go into the kitchen when something makes him pause. “And it’s Stark, by the way. Tony Stark. But you can just call me Tony.” Tony introduces, figuring that if the kid hasn’t recognized him by now, then his full name wasn’t going to make any difference.

“No, really Mr. Stark, it’s okay. I don’t want to bother you more. I already wanna die.” Spider-Man sheepishly refuses.

“I did not just patch you up for you to die in my living room,” Tony says before looking at the clock in the kitchen. “Besides, don’t you have school or something? You can’t be more than - what - fourteen?”

“Sixteen.” Spider-Man corrects, pulling an exasperated look out of Tony.

“Ahh, yes, the big difference between a child and a slightly bigger child.” Tony patronizes as he pulls out everything needed to begin making breakfast. “So, what’s a kid like you doing going around fighting crime anyway?”

“My, uh, my uncle died, a year ago.” Spider-Man answers, Tony pausing his slicing in order to turn around and face the teen.

“I’m sorry, kid. That’s hard.” Tony sincerely says watching as Spider-Man just shrugs it off.

“Yeah… it, uhh, it really sucked. Especially because I had already gotten my powers and I could’ve… I could’ve saved him. But I didn't know how at the time. And I just knew, at that moment, that I had to make sure something like that never happened again. I can’t live knowing that I had the power to stop something bad from happening and I chose to do nothing.” Spider-Man continues explaining.

Tony couldn't help but sadly smile, remembering all the things that he could’ve - should’ve - done sooner to stop so much damage from happening. But it was too late now. Way too late.

“Yeah. I get that.” Tony practically whispers before - once again - snapping himself out of his memories by turning around and beginning to crack some eggs into a bowl. “Well, I hear you make quite the impression. So I’d say you’re doing a bang-up job, Underoos.” Tony says, forcing himself to sound light-hearted as he poured the mixture into a pan. Now was not the time to wallow; wallowing was strictly a before-bed routine.

“I hope so.” Spider-Man sighs before realizing what he was just called “Underoos?” He squawks.

“You’re basically wearing PJ’s, kid.” Tony points out, smiling to himself when Spider-Man continued to protest.

“They’re- They’re not PJ’s!”

“If you say so.” Tony continues to tease as he plates the omelet, pouring a glass of orange juice to go along with it before walking into the living room.  

“Mr. Stark, you’re amazing. Thank you. I’m sorry.” Spider-Man stumbles over his words as Tony hands him the breakfast, causing Tony to roll his eyes in return.

“So, while you were comatose on my couch, I noticed your cartridges were empty. You make that webbing stuff yourself?” Tony begins to question once he was comfortable in the armchair with - yet another - cup of coffee.

Spider-Man just nodded, in the middle of shoveling the omelet in his mouth. Tony just whistled in response, completely impressed with what this teen was able to do.

“The tensile strength of that stuff is off the charts. How’d you come up with it?” Tony asks, once again not even bothering to keep the scientist in him from coming out.

“Trial and error, and error, and error,” Spider-Man begins to reply after washing down his food with the orange juice. “I’m good at chemistry and I get to hang around the school lab a lot so it’s easy for me to just,” Spider-Man continues to answer, miming pouring a bunch of things together.

Tony couldn’t help but bust out laughing, the realization of how ridiculous this whole thing was fully sitting in. Spider-Man really was a young child.

“Wait, wait, wait. You’re telling me the ‘Amazing Spider-Man’ makes his web-fluid in a high school lab ?” Tony asks, laughing even harder when the kid gave him a look as if he had just sucked on a lemon.

“It’s not funny! Where else am I supposed to make it?” Spider-Man protests, Tony just shaking his head as he tried to regain his composure.

“Well, what about you? It’s fully working hours and yet here you are.” Spider-Man points out as if he really was doing something there.

“Yeah. Here I am. In my own home that I pay for.” Tony replied dryly, only softening up and shrugging when he realized that he might have embarrassed the kid. “Don’t have anywhere to be today.”

“Well, what do you usually do?” Spider-Man asks and wasn’t that a loaded question. Tony smiled a bit as he ran through his head what he should say. He couldn’t tell the whole truth about working with the Avengers - not without giving himself away and defeating the whole purpose of disappearing in the first place - but he didn’t want to necessarily lie either.

“Let’s just say I’m an over-glorified mechanic. Or, I was anyway. Now, I just do my own thing. I fix people’s stuff.” Tony simplifies.

“Oh cool, like their cars and stuff?” Spider-Man asks as he continues to devour the plate of food. “My friend Ernest - well, he’s not really my friend, but he’s this guy I know ‘cuz one time these guys were holding his shop up and I went in like ‘Hey! This is automatically a crime!’ except they didn’t get it, so I wrapped up faster than usual.” Spider-Man rambles, pouting a bit when he brings up the criminals not understanding his joke.

“Yeah, they didn’t get it because that’s probably the worst pun I’ve ever heard.” Tony teases.

“Hey! You try coming up with good one-liners while fighting off three guys.” Spider-Man squawks.

Several memories began flooding through Tony’s mind -memories of multiple fights he was in, bad-mouthing all of the criminals - the man having to snap himself out of it before he got sucked too deep in it all. “I guarantee I’d still come up with better.”

Like the child he was, Spider-Man just stuck his tongue out in return before reaching down and setting his empty plate on the coffee table.

“Thank you, Mr. Stark. I, uh- I really appreciate what you did for me. You didn’t have to, but I won’t forget it.” Spider-Man shyly voices his gratitude.

“Don’t sweat it, kid. And I know you won’t listen to a word of this, but be careful out there. It’s all fun and games until you get stabbed.” Tony fondly says as he got up. He quickly walked into his bedroom and grabbed the first-aid kit.

“I made you a kit. There are some instructions in there because sometimes you just really don’t have the spare minutes to go through pages of Google searches before you bleed out or something.” Tony explains as he walks back out of his bedroom. Sitting down next to the teen, Tony opened up the box and began to take out some wipes.

“Use these to disinfect your leg every so often and make sure to change the bandage or it’s really gonna suck. There’s also some stuff in here to stitch yourself up, but, I have multiple instructions - with pictures - so you at least somewhat know what you’re doing. I put some Advil in there just in case, but I’m not sure if it would work on you; it wouldn't hurt to try, though. And the Vaseline in here is for bruising. If you put it on a few minutes after the injury happened, it won’t bruise.” Tony rambles, wanting to make sure the teen had everything he needed.

“Thanks, Mr. Stark. This is so cool. Thank you. But this is too much. I literally broke into your house and you’re being honestly way too cool about it; it’s freaking me out.” Spider-Man jokes, clearly extremely grateful even if he was trying to seem nonchalant about it. Tony just snorted and fondly ruffled the kid’s hair.

“I can’t in good conscience let you walk outta here without at least that. It’s bad for my heart condition.” Tony says, hoping that if he made it about him it would help the kid ease up on it. Although he quickly dropped the teasing and light-hearted tone in exchange for something a bit more serious so Spider-Man would listen to the next part Tony had to say and take it to heart.

“But if you’re ever in trouble, or you need a place to hide, or you’re too stubborn to go to a hospital like a normal person, you can always come back here.”

“I can’t do that, no, really. It’s okay. Thank you, though, Mr. Stark, but I’m okay. Really. This was just a fluke. A complete one-off, once-in-a-lifetime event. Promise.” Spider-Man adamantly refuses the offer, going so far as to even wave his hands to get the point across.

“You’ve already violated the sanctity of my door, what’s one more time.” Tony jokes, smiling when the teen buried his face in his hands.

“Mr. Stark.” Spider-Man draws out causing Tony to throw his head back and laugh.

*   *   *

Tony wasn’t actually expecting Spider-Man to show up again at his apartment. Not with how embarrassed and adamant the teen was that nothing was going to happen again.

Tony accepted that he was never going to see the teen again as soon as he was able to leave the apartment. All Tony could really do was hope that the kid was following instructions and was cleaning his leg like he was supposed to.

It wasn’t until late the next day when Tony was coming back home from work that he saw a sign of Spider-Man stopping by once again. Right outside on his balcony was a little plate wrapped up in saran wrap.

Curious, Tony walked outside and saw that Spider-Man had left him a plate of cookies while he was out.

Tony couldn’t help but chuckle and shake his head, grabbing the plate and walking inside with it.

Of course, the kid would do something as silly and wholesome as leaving him a plate of cookies as - what he was assuming was - a thank you.

Tony took the cookies and put them in his own Tupperware so he could give the plate back, popping one of the cookies in his mouth as he did so.

Humming appreciably, Tony put the plate back out on the balcony before walking back inside and grabbing more bandages. Tony set the bandages down next to the plate before writing out a note for the kid.

You better be disinfecting that leg kid.

Tony figured he would get a kick out of that one, plus hopefully, it’ll drive the message home and make Spider-Man listen if he wasn’t before.

That was a couple of weeks ago.

Tony hadn’t heard anything else from Spider-Man, hadn’t even gotten a sign that the kid was around other than the fact that he took the plate along with the bandages. Which was okay. Tony prepared and expected this.

That didn’t stop him from worrying though. And, of course, his worry led him to the same place it always does; his workshop.

Every time he had another worry come up - like how he had no idea if the kid was still hurt, if the kid was alright now, or if he had gotten hurt all over again - Tony continued to add more and more to his project.

While he worked, Tony tried telling himself that Spider-Man not showing up in a couple of weeks was a good thing. It meant that the kid most likely wasn’t hurt and didn’t need Tony to patch him up. That thought was the only thing bringing him comfort.

Telling himself that working on his project was also a good “just in case” thing and that he most likely won’t even need to give it to Spider-Man in the first place helped comfort him also.

So, yeah, Tony wasn’t expecting to see the vigilante again.

Tony also wasn’t expecting someone to knock on his front door one random night.

Almost as soon as Tony heard the knock, he jumped up to his feet.

Several different thoughts began running through Tony’s head making him paranoid and switch between stopping halfway to the door and actually walking up to the door.

What if it was Spider-Man and he needed Tony’s help again? No, Spider-Man would have come through the balcony, he wouldn’t be knocking on the front door.

What if it’s Pepper? What if Rhodey is in trouble? No, Pepper wouldn’t come here and Rhodey still isn’t comfortable being out in public.

What if it’s one of the Avengers? What if they found him? What if Ross found out about him and what he did? About what he used to do?

Taking a deep breath in and steeling himself, Tony finally managed to push his body the rest of the way to the door, swinging it open.

Sure enough, Spider-Man was standing there in street clothes this time, holding his left arm in his hand.

“So, I, uh, I broke my arm.” Spider-Man greets as if the way his arm was limply laying wasn’t obvious enough.

“Yeah. I can see that.” Tony dryly says, still trying to internally calm down his racing heart now that he knew there was no threat. Tony stepped aside and waved Spider-Man in. “Come in, Spider-Kid. Let’s see what I can do.”

Spider-Man slowly shuffled inside, awkwardly walking over to the couch and practically collapsing once he reached it. Tony watched as Spider-Man’s breathing began to stagger, the adrenaline most likely draining from the kid now.

Tony gave the teen a sympathetic frown, gently taking his arm into his hands to look and feel where the break was and how bad it was.

“You’re gonna be okay, Bud. We just need to snap it in place. It looks like a clean break to me.” Tony tries to reassure. Tony continued to look all over the teen’s arm, trying to remember everything he learned about snapping a bone back into place.

It didn’t look like there was too much fluid building up, it wasn’t bleeding, and the bone wasn’t poking at the skin so it should just be a simple snap-it-in type deal.

“Ready?” Tony asks once he’s done analyzing everything.

“No?” Spider-Man hesitates, making a grin slip out of Tony.

“That’s the spirit,” Tony says, and that was the only warning Spider-Man got before Tony was snapping his arm into place.

Almost instantly, Spider-Man began to scream through his teeth, making Tony snap into action.

“I’m going to get you some water, just take it easy, Kid,” Tony says over Spider-Man’s deep breathing, quickly getting up and getting the kid a glass of water from the kitchen.

When Tony came out, the kid’s eyes were still closed, but his breathing was coming in short pants. Recognizing when a panic attack is about to start, Tony practically ran the rest of the way over to the teen and grabbed a hold of the teen’s chin so he had no choice but to look at Tony.

“Hey. Look at me. Breathe, one two three.” Tony begins to coach, smiling softly when Spider-Man followed his instructions, “There you go. You’re right here. Don’t go anywhere else. You’re right here.” Tony continues to soothe.

Spider-Man just stared into Tony’s eyes while he tried to calm him down, almost as if he would float away again if he looked away. Almost as if Tony’s intense gaze was the only thing keeping him tethered to the earth.

Spider-Man’s breathing soon began to slow down, the teen eventually able to take in a long slow breath.

“Sorry.” He apologizes, his eyes slowly fluttering shut now that all of his adrenaline truly was gone.

“You can kick everyone’s ass except your own brains sometimes.” Tony sighs sadly.

“You get them too?” Spider-Man blurts out. All Tony could really give in return was a tired look, before agreeing because even just the thought of his almost daily panic attacks was enough to suck the energy out of him.

“Yeah.”

“Did they… Did they get better, though?” Spider-Man hesitantly asks, almost as if he was scared to hear the answer. Which should have been enough to tell Tony to sugarcoat his answer, but sometimes his brain and his mouth aren’t wired together.

“Not yet,” Tony says, being quick to amend his answer when he saw the teen’s face fall. “But that doesn’t mean anything for you, kid. You just keep working on it. And drink your water.” Tony instructs, smiling fondly when the teen did what he was told.

“You okay?” Tony asks after Spider-Man had a couple of sips and looked physically calmer.

“Yeah. I’m good. Promise.” Spider-Man honestly replies. Tony continued to stare at him for a little bit longer, debating on whether or not he should give the teen what he’s been working on recently.

“Well, are you ready for a surprise then?” Tony asks once he’s finally made his mind up.

“Surprise?”

“I made something for you. If you’re interested.” Tony clarifies, before grabbing the metal case that held Tony’s recent project.

“Really?” Spider-Man shouts excitedly, sitting up straighter on the couch before he begins to remember himself and quickly protests the gift. “Wait. You can’t give me anything! That’s-That’s too much!”

“Hush, child. Children should be seen, not heard.” Tony quiets, not really wanting to go through a whole song and dance just to get the kid to accept the case.

“Excuse you.” Spider-Man gasps dramatically, making Tony smirk before tossing the case onto the couch cushion next to the vigilante.

“Go on, open it.” Tony permits, trying to hold back his chuckle when Spider-Man just gave Tony a firmly disappointed look.

Despite being "displeased" with it all, Spider-Man still pulled the case into his lap eagerly, quickly opening up the top of the case.

As soon as the red suit inside popped up, along with all of the semantics that were surrounding it, Spider-Man gasped. The teen couldn’t take his eyes off of the suit, and when he did manage to look away, his eyes locked firmly onto Tony’s.

“Is this- Is this what I-” Spider-Man breathlessly stutters, Tony taking pity on the poor boy by cutting him off when it was clear that the teen’s brain had practically self-destructed.

“A brand-new, superhero-worthy Spider-Man suit, equipped with all sorts of anti-bad guy goodies? Probably.” Tony answers for the teen, a warm and proud feeling spreading through his chest when he saw the biggest grin form on Spider-Man’s face; although he made sure he didn’t show it, he refused to show his soft spot.

“Holy shit! This is so cool! This is literally the coolest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life; oh my God! Ned is going to flip!” Spider-Man gushes as he pulls the suit out and examines it.

“I just thought about you running around in your glorified sweats and I couldn’t sleep. So enjoy the suit, kid. It has its own AI and everything.” Tony nonchalantly says as if that wasn’t one of the biggest things to the teen.

“There’s an AI? Holy shit .”

“An AI who’ll - hopefully - help you be careful out there. She can help you navigate the city and deal with whatever shenanigans you get yourself into. The material of the suit itself should keep you - more or less - resistant to the kind of attacks you’ll be dealing with. It’s also fireproof, but I’d really prefer you didn’t go testing that out.” Tony begins listing off everything he put into the suit.

“Are you kidding? I’d never risk burning this. This is literally the best thing ever! I’m going to look so cool.” Spider-Man continues to gush making Tony snort at the teen’s clear excitement.

“Hell yeah, you are.”

Gently, almost as if he was going to destroy it then and there, Spider-Man folded the suit up and placed it back into the case, and closed it up.

“This is really awesome Mr. Stark and I really appreciate it but… are you sure? This must have taken a lot of time, and I don’t even know how much it cost-”

“It’s a multi-million dollar suit.” Tony interrupts, hoping that if he just quickly glossed over it, it won’t become a huge deal. “But I want you to have it,” Tony reassures.

“Did you say multi-million? As in more than one million? As in millions ?” Spider-Man gasps. “Mr. Stark, the most expensive thing I own is a forty-dollar sweater from this Star Wars merch site; and technically I got it on sale.” Spider-Man continues to breathlessly ramble.

Tony couldn’t help it when he threw his head back and laughed at the teen’s reaction. He’s never had someone react like that towards his work. The Avengers sure as hell weren’t even nearly half as impressed as Spider-Man was.

“Trust me, kid, I wouldn’t have made this for you if I didn’t think you deserved it.” Tony earnestly says, watching as Spider-Man stopped completely and widened his eyes, almost as if no one’s complimented him about this kind of thing.

Which, now that Tony thought about it, that was most likely the case. The teen probably hasn’t been told that he’s been doing a good job with everything for the same reason he comes to Tony’s apartment; because there’s no one else there to do it.

Tony once again decided that it was up to him to step into that role.

“I think you do good work, Underoos. And - more importantly - I think your hearts in the right place. With some more experience and some better tech, you’ll be able to do some amazing things.” Tony compliments. Spider-Man just blushed and ducked his head shyly in return, which managed to pull a fond smile out of Tony.

“Thanks, Mr. Stark. That’s… That’s really nice of you to say.”

“You’ll be one of the greats one day, kid. No doubt about it.” Tony confidently says, making sure his tone of voice left no room for disbelief. It must have worked because Spider-Man cracked a small smile in return.

Then he whispered a sentence that made Tony’s entire body seize right up.

“Like Iron Man?”

So many thoughts and questions began to race through Tony’s head.

The first question was: did this kid know?

No. He couldn’t possibly know. No one but the people in his old life knew. No one from the public knew or even had close to an idea.

The next question was why in the hell did this kid look up to Iron Man of all heroes? Why did he have to think that Iron Man was what he should be living up to?

Didn’t this kid know that Iron Man is the reason Tony now has nothing? No friends, no girlfriend, no company, no one to live with but the dust bunnies in the corner of his apartment.

Of course, he couldn’t possibly know all that, but that wasn’t going to stop Tony from trying to persuade his thoughts otherwise.

“Mr. Stark?” A tiny voice breaks through all of Tony’s thoughts. Snapping his head up, Tony realized that he had gotten too far into his head and quickly shook himself out of it.

“Nothing, kid. I’d just… shoot higher than the tin can.”

“Are you crazy? You can’t shoot higher than Iron Man! Iron Man is Iron Man! He’s the best.” Spider-Man protests. Tony wasn’t sure what his face looked like right now, but he knew it had to be a look of disgust because Spider-Man just continued to ramble about the ex-hero.

“Hello! The battle of New York? He flew a nuke into a wormhole and then the Avengers closed the portal on him - which was totally uncool by the way - and he still came back anyway. And he defeated the Mandarin after all those bombings happened and then there was that whole thing with the terrorist in Afghanistan and stopping that guy from Stark Industries and rescuing-” And Tony couldn’t help but groaning and rubbing his face when Spider-Man stopped mid-sentence.

Because Tony knew - could pinpoint the exact moment one of his identities clicked inside the teen’s head.

“You're Tony Stark. Oh, my God. I’m in Tony Stark’s apartment,” Spider-Man gasps, “I bled on Tony Stark’s couch. Oh, my God. How did I miss that? Holy-”

“Are you done?” Tony interrupts the revelation, glaring at the - once again - rambling teen.

“No. No, I am not done. I can’t believe I didn’t reconsider you before. Oh, my God. You’re the CEO of Stark Industries.” Spider-Man continues to freak out.

“Ex-CEO” Tony corrects, rubbing his temples to try and stave off an oncoming migraine.

“What?”

“I gave it to my old assistant Pepper. She’s better at it anyway. I told you, I’m just an over-glorified mechanic now.” Tony explains, causing Spider-Man to sputter in return.

“B-But why? You were the most famous inventor of all time until you just… disappeared.”

“If you think fame and notoriety are still the most important things in the world, you’ve got some growing up to do, kid.” Tony lecture. Although it wasn’t a very strong lecture with how tired and done with it all Tony sounded.

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way I just… I go to a super nerdy school and I’ve been into tech my whole life. So, I - uhh - I totally followed your whole career when I was younger. It’s why I like Iron Man, too. He made himself into a hero, you know? He saw that things needed to change and so he changed them himself." Spider-Man explains.

Tony just stood there and stared at the teen, trying to process everything he was just told.

Tony had to keep reminding himself that Spider-Man didn't know; that no one knew. No one knew about his secret identity and that it was just a coincidence that Spider-Man happened to look up to Tony and his alter-ego.

That didn't make it any better, though.

Tony hated the fact that Spider-Man looked up to them. That he wanted to be like them. The kid needed to shoot higher for something, needed a better role model than Tony and Iron Man. Which was the conflicting part because this kid really needed a mentor and the only "hero" he just so happened to stumble upon was Tony.  

"I'm not the kind of guy you want to look up to, kid. Neither is Shellhead. Trust me." Tony voices out loud before turning and walking away. He figured the kid knew his way out himself. "Enjoy the suit."

*   *   *

It was until later that night when Tony's hunger got the better of him and he figured that Spider-Man had left a while ago and it was safe for him to that Tony left his workshop and came back out into the living room.

Sure enough, Spider-Man was gone when Tony reached the living room, and the only sign that the vigilante was in his home in the first place was the note sitting on his coffee table.

I think you're selling yourself short ex-CEO or not - Peter Parker

(Now you know my secret identity too. I only thought it was fair)

Tony didn't quite know what to do with that, but if Tony ripped the first part of the note off and kept it in his desk drawer - well - no one had to know.

*   *   *

It was another couple of weeks and, once again, there was no word from Spider-Man.

No, not Spider-Man. Peter Parker.

Almost as soon as Tony got his name, he went back down into his workshop and began researching anything he could find on the kid.

He found out that he went to Midtown, which in itself was pretty impressive, but he even managed to find all of the teen's robotics and decathlon awards, and his grades and GPA.

Okay, well, Tony didn't happen to stumble onto all of that, he probably did a little bit more hacking than he should have, but he was curious. Sue him.

Although the straight-A's and 4.0 really explain a lot about how Peter was able to get around doing all of this hero-ing and how he was able to go for so long without the proper resources. The kid was smart.

But, Tony also found some not-so-fun stuff. Like three specific death certificates.

He wasn't so shocked to find the death certificate of Ben Parker since Peter had already brought his Uncle up, but he was shocked to find death certificates for Richard and Mary Parker.

Something tight settled into Tony's chest when he found those and realized that the teen was an orphan just like he was; albeit a little younger.

After that, Tony stopped his stalking background check and decided that he would get the rest of whatever information from Peter himself.

Two days after he started his research, another knock came from Tony's front door.

Once again, Tony couldn't help but be paranoid at the sound, but quickly forced himself to relax when he reminded himself that the only person who comes to visit him is the Spider-Kid.

Sure enough, when Tony opened up the door, Peter was standing on the other side of the door, holding up a bag of cheeseburgers in one hand and a bag with a bunch of drinks and snacks in the other.

"There better not be mushrooms in that thing," Tony says in lieu of a greeting.  

"Excuse you. This is an all-American cheeseburger. There's lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles, meat, and cheese and that's that." Peter scoffs.

"I've never respected you more, honestly," Tony says as he widens the door and steps aside so Peter could walk on in.

The teen gave him a big grin in return as he made his way into the apartment, quickly settling onto the couch like he had been coming over for years. Which considering the kid only really comes over when he's severely injured, Tony is beginning to feel like he's aged a few years.

After the kid hands out the food to both him and Tony, he began to make his way into the kitchen and pour them both a glass of water.

Tony couldn't help but watch with amusement, kind of shock, and touched at the same time that Peter was no longer afraid to make himself at home. Maybe it means the kid is going to start coming around more so Tony doesn't have to constantly worry about whether or not he's dead in an alleyway.  

Almost as soon as Peter set down the glasses of water, he was sitting down next to Tony and practically inhaling his burger.

"So good. A-plus. Really made the robbery worth it." Peter talks around the bite of burger in his mouth, completely missing the incredulous and somewhat angry look Tony was giving him.

"You got these at a robbery?"

"When you see a Shake Shake being held up, you gotta intervene. And if the owner gives you free food as a thank you then," Peter shrugs as he sets his bottle of sprite down, "the friendly neighborhood Spier-Man would never be impolite enough to say no."

Tony couldn't help but huff and shake his head at the teen's antics and the audacity he had to actually look smug about it all.

"And we can't have that, can we?" Tony continues the light banter they have going.

"No, sir," Peter replies, both of them instantly laughing once they caught each other's eyes.

"So, fix anything today?" Peter asks as Tony settles down onto the couch right next to the teen.

"Neighbor downstairs had her car malfunction; took a look at that for her today. Nothing fancy. How's the suit.?" Tony quickly changes the subject, hating talking about himself more than he needed to. That usually led to very important - very secretive - stuff getting out by accident.

"It's incredible! Like, seriously, Mr. Stark. It's the coolest thing ever, and it works so well, and I've been getting so many compliments. Did you see me trending on Twitter? That was so cool!" Peter bursts out, almost as if he was holding all of that in until Tony said something.

"Yeah, I saw that. Might have contributed to a few on the conspiracy theories." Tony smiles the weird warmth in his chest once again spreading at the sight of the happy teen.

"Are you serious? Mr. Stark." Peter groans. Tony had to try and choke down his laugh at the sight.

"My personal favorite was 'Spider-Man steal Daredevil's suit and cuts off horns'" Tony continues to tease, earning a whining type noise in return. "Hey, you'll grow. Probably."

"I retract my compliments effective immediately." Peter dryly says, making Tony give the kid another smirk.

"Sorry, no takebacks. Can't erase this memory." Tony says as he taps his temple before finally reaching for his weird robbery burger.

"Hey, Mr. Stark?" Peter hesitantly asks, gaining Tony's attention. "Why'd you sell your tower to the Avengers?" Peter asks once he was sure Tony was paying attention.

Which... that wasn't a question Tony was prepared to get asked.  

Tony stopped eating his burger and cleared his throat before actually answering. "They asked and I agreed. I was planning on moving SI operations anyway."

"So, it isn't true that you did some work for them?" Peter continues to question. Tony's heart instantly began to pound. He couldn't help but feel nervous as to where this line of questioning was about to go.

"Why do you say that?"

"Twitter." Peter shrugs before returning to his burger. And, of course, of course, Twitter would figure out viable information like that.

"You know, it's constantly surprising to me that more national secrets aren't revealed on the internet every day." Tony deadpans, causing Peter to gape at him.

"So you did?"

"I consulted on some of their tech. That's all. No biggie." Tony sighs, already knowing that Peter was going to make a huge deal about it and he was going to have to talk about it more than he already wants to.

"No biggie? It's a huge biggie! Did you work on their suits?" Peter rapidly questions, gasping when something dawned on him. "Is that how you were so good at mine? Did you work on the Iron Man armors?"

"Can't a man keep any secrets anymore?" Tony asks in the hope to be able to drop this conversation completely.

"Not if they involve the Avengers." Peter was quick to deny. All Tony could do was stare at this teen in annoyance.

What did this kid see in the Avengers that gave them all of his awe and respect?  Didn't he know that the avengers are some of the worst people out there? Apparently not, and tony was going to have to be the one to tell him.

"Why do you even care about the Avengers so much? Because I'm telling you, they're nothing to be fanboying about. They were dysfunctional, aggressive, and uncooperative. They preached about teamwork but were the first to turn on each other when the going got rough. And when things got bad, when people started dying because of their actions, they decided their own self-righteousness was way more important than the will of the entire world." Tony began to rant, getting so into finally being able to let out all the pent-up rage that he didn't even notice when Peter's face began to fall.

"They were called 'Earth's Greatest Defenders', but in the end, what did it all matter when everything that mattered to them disappeared. When even their so-called family didn't matter more to them than their pride." Tony finishes spitting down, Peter looking down at his lap with discomfort and hurt in his eyes.

"Just because they weren't perfect doesn't mean they weren't still great. Everyone has their bad side, but they still tried their best." Peter tries to defend, making Tony nod when he realized he was going to have to break this down and make Peter see his point.

"Okay, but what if what's right and wrong stopped being so simple? A guy starts a fight in the middle of the street; that's wrong. So you break it up. Easy right? Aliens invade the Earth. That wrong, right? So you defeated them." Tony waited until Peter showed he understand before continuing.

"But, what if, before they were defeated, you saw that you only got rid of one percent of the threat. That beyond them was something infinitely more terrifying just waiting for the perfect moment to attack. What if you knew that threat was imminent. What do you do?"

"You build your defense. You prepare." Peter confidently answers.

"But here's the thing; what lines do you cross to prepare? What boundaries do you have to set? The Avengers were a group of superpowered people thrown together without any foundation so when questions like those popped up, they didn't have enough faith in one another to resolve them without breaking apart. So, tell me then, what were they really thinking about? Their hearts? Or their pride?"

"The Avengers split up because of the Accord, didn't they?" Peter asks, slowly getting to the root of the real problem.

"The Accords were just the catalyst. In the end, it was betrayals on the inside that made them irreconcilable and what made half of them go into hiding and the other turn into fugitive still playing a vigilante on the down-low." Tony huffs before crumpling up the take-out bag in his hands, just to have something to do with them and to make his next admission easier.

"I've been around too many superheroes to be blind to the costs of it. And no one lost more than Iron Man."

"You know what happened to him?" Peter gasps. Tony just gave a wry smile as he nodded.

"He lost the love of his life, he lost his team, he was betrayed by his best friend, he lost everything until all he had left was a suit. But what purpose did that serve? When everything he fought for had slipped right through his fingers." Tony vents, trying as best as he could to reel in his emotions afterward.

"That's terrible," Peter whispers as he shrinks into the couch.

Tony doesn't really say anything after that, too shocked with how much better he felt. He finally feels like the tight knot that constantly sat in his chest has loosened; even if it was just the tiniest bit.

Tony hasn't once talked about everything that's happened. He's never brought up his and Pepper's breakup, what happened to him during the Accords, or even what happened after he went after Steve. No one knew.

Except now for this random-ass kid. And even though he thought it was about Iron Man and not Tony, having someone actually know and understand surprisingly helped Tony.

Maybe it was time for Tony to accept what had happened and call Rhodey.

"If you...," Peter tries to begin before clearing his throat and trying again, "if you hate superheroes so much, then why- why did you make me a suit?" The teen finally gets out. And for the first time since Peter began asking him about superheroes, Tony actually felt confident and sure of his answer.

"I've met a lot of heroes since my time with the Avengers. I've met magicians and aliens and enhanced, but I've never met anyone like you. If the Avengers had half the heart you did, I think the world would be a different place right now." Tony certainly says, giving a small and soft smile when he saw the teen blush under the blatant compliment.

"I'd given up on superheroes. I guess the jury's still out now, Peter."

"I don't know if I deserve that," Peter whispers, shaking his head.

"You want to be as good as Iron Man and I'm telling you you're better."

*   *   *

After that, it's like Tony can't get rid of Peter.

The teen quickly began to pop in weekly, just to check-in; or at least that's what he says it is.

And Tony would deny it to his last dying breath that he actually enjoyed the kid's presence. If anyone asked, he was annoyed every time but accepted it anyway. But secretly, deep down, he really did enjoy having Peter's company every week.

Tony hadn't realized how long he's been alone until he finally had someone to interact with.

Slowly but surely, Tony begins to learn a bit more about Peter and what makes him tick.

Peter lives with his Aunt currently; although she knows nothing about his "extracurricular" and he preferred to keep it that way. He had three really close friends -  Ned Leeds, Michelle Jones, and Harry Osborn; let's just say Tony was a bit - read a lot - dramatic when he found out Peter was friends with an Osborn. He also found out that the kid was in tenth grade, which didn't help with the guilt Tony felt for actually encouraging Peter's behavior; although to make himself feel better, Tony just kept reminding himself that Peter was doing this way before he dropped into Tony's life, and if anything he was doing everyone a favor by helping out.

Taking everything into consideration, Peter seems to be a typical teenager. But there's still something behind the scenes, Tony's noticed.

There's always something a little lingering - wanting - behind Peter's eyes sometimes. Something a little dark behind all the shy looks Peter gives when Tony compliments or praises something good Peter has done.

Tony hates it - no one that young should look that haunted - and is officially deadset on making it all go away one day, or at least making it better and easier.

Currently, Tony was working on a project in his workshop, waiting for JARVIS to let him know when the teen got to the apartment.

By now, Peter is no longer shy about just waltzing into the apartment through the balcony door, and Tony has since stopped caring and learned to just leave it unlocked so the Spider-Kid could come in, but he still was working on something extremely delicate and the kid was too light-footed for Tony's liking.

The last thing Tony needed was for his location to be outed just because he got startled by a teenager and blew the whole building up.

'Sir, Spider-Man is requesting access.' JARVIS finally chimes in, the heads-up causing a small smile to form on Tony's face.

"Great! Tell him I'm waiting for him and let him in, J." Tony adjures while patting Dum-E on the head and taking the smoothie the bot was offering.

And Tony had tried to pay attention to when Peter walked into the lab, wanting to see the kid's eyes light up when he saw what had to of been a wet dream for the teen, but that was until Dum-E started trilling and trying to go after the smoothie he had just handed over.

"Don't you dare," Tony stops, holding a finger up to keep the bot in place. "Step away from the smoothie, Dum-E."

Dum-E just continued to chitter, nodding his head while Tony insistently shook his. "Nope, you already perfected it without the motor oil. That's overkill. You trying to kill your Dad?" Tony continues to argue with the bot.

"Aww Mr. Stark, he's just trying his best, aren't you?" Peter coos, alerting Tony to his presence.

"Hey, you, knock it off or you'll positively reinforce this nonsense." Tony scolds, although the overly-fond look he was giving took away most of the seriousness.

"You into chem now?" Peter asks once he gets over to the worktable Tony was at and looked through all the magnifying glasses.

"Actually, I'm trying to make exploding webbing for you," Tony announces, "but the process isn't going as smoothly as I thought," Tony admits. Peter on the other hand was practically bouncing out of his skin with excitement.

"Are you for real right now?"

"Realer than real, kid," Tony replies with faux seriousness.

"This is so crazy. I'm science-ing with Tony Stark. Ned's going to lose it." Peter continues to marvel.

Tony couldn't help but grin at the teen's excitement, handing him a pair of safety goggles. "How is he anyway? Has he gotten over dying from the suit?" Tony questions, making Peter snort.

"No way. He went on about that for weeks, but he's valid." Peter answers.

"And school? No trouble in minor paradise?" Tony continues to question, adding that as his contribution to the darkness in the kid's eyes for the day.

"No different than normal." Peter shrugs, purposefully avoiding eye contact with Tony.

"I take it 'normal' isn't usually slap your knee fantastic?" Tony aims for light-hearted.

"It's nothing. Just high school." Peter brushes off while fiddling with a screwdriver. That sad look was beginning to return in Peter's eyes, making Tony's mentor - not parental thank you very much, he didn't have any of those - instincts go haywire.

"You know," Tony begins, picking up a wrench and fiddling with that also, "I used to get bullied too when I was younger," Tony admits, figuring that this was what this was.

"No, you didn't." Peter denies, scrunching his face up in disbelief.

"Genius kid with a smart mouth and at least four years younger than everyone else in his classes? I'd be more surprised if I wasn't pushed around." Tony snorts.

"That sounds way worse. My thing really isn't a big deal." Peter defeatedly says.

"If it bothers you, then it's a big deal. Spill, kid." Tony genuinely says, poking Peter in the side with the wrench to try and get him to start talking.

"Honestly, Mr. Stark, it's nothing, it's just this kid... Flash," Peter finally begins to open up, "He's just mad that I 'stole' his spot on the Decathalon team and he thinks that making fun of me will make me leave or something, but it won't. But it doesn't make it any less sucky, and I thought that all the stupid stuff he said didn't bother me, but sometimes..." Peter trails off.

"You hear the stuff he says when you're already feeling kicked around?" Tony finishes for the teen, his voice sympathetic.

"Yeah. Exactly." Peter agrees, finally looking up at Tony.

"Yeah, that's the way that kinda stuff goes. No one's immune to thing like that, Pete, no matter how much we say we don't care." Tony says, and his point must be getting somewhat across because the teen looked back down at his lap, lip firmly tuck between his teeth.

"With that said though, everything that Flash kid told you? Automatically tossed in a trash can based purely on the fact that nothing a kid named Flash says can be accurate in any way." Tony teases to ease some of the tension in the room, smiling a bit when it seemed to work and got Peter to smirk. "Sorry not sorry, that's just a fact. It's all purely bullshit."

"But what if it's not." Peter blurts out, dropping his head right into his hands. And that - the fact that Peter believes some of the things this asshole says - that doesn't sit right with Tony.

"I guarantee non of the things he says about you are true. You said it yourself, he's jealous that you got something he didn't; and with a name like that, he's probably used to getting everything he's ever wanted his whole life, so the second it doesn't go his way, he throws a tantrum. It's not even about you. Not really. It's all about him and his own insecurities." Tony calmly rambles, wanting anything for this kid to realize his worth.

"Yeah, but it still sucks! It sucks, and I hate it, and I wish he'd just leave me alone!" Peter shouts, taking Tony back a bit. He's never heard Peter yell about something before, and Peter must have realized that because he instantly began apologizing.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. I just- I'm just so frustrated. And I'm so over it, and I've never even done anything to him. And he just doesn't leave me alone."

"Hey, it's okay." Tony comforts, gently squeezing the teen's shoulder. "That guy's a jerk. Be upset. We can build a dummy right now and you can have at it after we tape his face on it." Tony continues to soothe.

"I don't think that'll help to be honest." Peter snorts.

The self-deprecating look in Peter's eye still lingered, sending thousands of alarms bell of in Tony's head telling him to fix it fix it fix it. Someone so good and kind-hearted shouldn't ever have this look, it killed Tony inside to see it. So, Tony did the only thing he knew how to do; he began to ramble.

"Peter, you fight crime as a hobby and still play Legos with your friends. You have a big heart and you're ridiculously smart. You're literally every parent's dream child and you're the only teenager in the world that's actually likable.  You're killing it on all fronts. And if you want me to go down to that asshole's house and scare him with some avengers tech, I'm game, but if you want to do cool science stuff he'll never be able to do in a million years, I'm game for that too."

"I'm the only teenager you know," Peter responds, the watery tone in his voice telling Tony that his point finally got across, but it was just better to focus on something else at the moment.

"Excuse you, I'm a well-connected man. I know teenagers. And they're all terrible." Tony jokes, taking the bait and allowing the subject to change.

"Except me." Peter points out, finally cracking a grin.

"Except you." Tony agrees, poking Peter in the forehead. "You're a cool kid, Peter Parker."

Peter just groaned and pushed Tony's hand away before arguing. "Do you know how uncool it is to be called cool by a senior citizen?"

"Banned. Blocked. Unfollowed." Tony says as soon as the forbidden "s-word" left Peter's mouth, pointing at the door.

Although, it was hard to be mad when the kid's infectious laugh rang throughout the walls of the lab.

*   *   *

It wasn't very often that Tony thanked his mind. Nine times out of ten his mind was betraying him and either sending him into a spiraling panic or into a spiraling depression; there really wasn't an in-between.

But every now and then, Tony's brain will supply him with an idea that he can't help but be grateful a million times over. Putting an AI into Peter's suit was one of those times.

At one-fifty-three in the morning, Tony got an alert from JARVIS, saying that Peter's AI in his Spider-Man suit was trying to reach him.

Tony quickly sat up in bed and demanded that JARVIS put her through.

"Karen?" Tony calls out, only slightly cringing at the random name Peter gave the AI.

'Mr. Stark, as per the baby monitor protocol I am to inform you that Peter's heart rate is currently at 148 beats per minute.' Karen informs, making Tony's heart sink at the news.

"What? Why? Is he hurt?" Tony questions, quickly hopping out of bed and putting clothes on.

'Peter currently is unharmed, although it appears that he's having what you would call a panic attack.' Karen informs, making Tony curse.

"Is he on his way here?"

'Yes, he is approximately thirty-eight seconds away.' Karen says, and sure enough, by the time Tony ran out to the living room, Peter was flipping onto the balcony.

Tony opened up the sliding glass door before Peter even had a chance to, hating the scene he saw before him. He hated that the kid had to go through all of this so young.

"Hey, kid." Tony lamely greets.

"Mr. Stark. I can't." Peter rasps. Tony just gives the kid a sympathetic smile before lightly placing his hand on Peter's arm.

"Yes, you can, but let's sit down first," Tony says, gently leading Peter over to the couch.

While Tony made sure the sliding door was just and the curtains were closed, Peter all but flopped on the couch and ripped his mask off of his face, gasping as if the thin material was suffocating him.

Before Tony could even get over to the teen and help him, Peter began to struggle out of his suit. The teen's jerky movements were doing nothing to help him though, instead, making the suit stick even more to his skin.

All it took was one swift tug, and the next thing they both knew, the suit was ripping clean in half.

"Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Mr. Stark, I-I- the suit- your suit- I-" Peter began to gasp, Tony quickly brushing away his shock so he could walk in front of Peter. Honestly, the suit really was the least of his worries at the moment.

"Kid, hey, kid, listen to me." Tony tries to calm, grabbing Peter's face in both of his hands in an attempt to ground him.

"It's okay. You're okay. The suit's okay. Everything is okay." Tony firmly says. Peter just shook his head, effectively pulling it out of Tony's grasp. Tony's heart ached so deeply when he saw the tears pooling in the teen's eyes.

"No, it isn't. No, it isn't." Peter insists, dropping his head in his hands. "I messed up, Mr. Stark. I messed up really bad."

"Every single problem in the universe has a solution, Peter. We'll find it." Tony confidently says and his heart actually felt like it was shattering when he saw the tears begin to drip down Peter's wrists.

Figuring it was better to let Peter get it all out of his system and calm down before talking, Tony got up and made his way into the kitchen.

He started the usual tradition he and Peter had slowly developed, making sure a pot of coffee was beginning to brew and a kettle of water was boiling on the stove.

Once he was sure everything was being made, Tony went into his bedroom, grabbing a pair of sweatpants and a random shirt for Peter to get changed in. They might be huge on the scrawny boy, but anything had to be better than sitting in his boxers.

Returning back to the living room, Tony exchanges Peter's suit for his clothes before heading right back to his lab. He looked over the suit while he walked, looking over the rip to see how bad it truly was.

He still honestly couldn't believe that the teen ripped it in half. It was defiantly going to take some fixing, but at least it'll keep Tony busy for a while.

"It's a quick fix. Trust me, the machine will sew it right back up." Tony reassures Peter about the suit once he heads back to the kitchen once again.

There wasn't a response, not that Tony was really expecting it, so Tony just made himself busy by making himself a cup of coffee and a hot chocolate up for Peter. He even made sure to add extra marshmallows in the cup along with some whipped cream, hoping that even the small gesture would be enough to help Peter feel better.

Tony took his familiar seat in the armchair across from the couch, holding out the mug of hot chocolate to Peter.

"It's not the suit that's bothering you, is it?" Tony guesses as Peter begins to take the offered mug.

No one said anything for a while, which was fine. Tony was more than happy to just sit there and wait for Peter to calm down and gather all of his thoughts. He just sat there and allowed the silence, occasionally turning his attention onto his coffee every now and then.

Eventually, Peter took a tentative sip of his hot chocolate - which Tony considered a huge win - before clearing his throat and whispering, "There was a fire today."

Tony just looked at him, making sure the teen knew he had his full attention.

"Karen told me about it and I went there as fast as I could, but when I- when I got there-" Peter continues, stopping to collect himself before he fell completely apart again, "the fire was- it was so big, Mr. Stark. It was- I'd never seen anything like that before and I just..." Peter trailed off.

"You froze." Tony finishes for the teen, having a hunch that was exactly what was happened. He's been there himself enough times to know for himself.

"Yeah, I froze. But then people were yelling and someone was screaming about their sister and I just- I just ran in there. And it was so smoky and everything was on fire and it was so hot, I thought I was going to die." Peter says, refusing to look up at Tony.

"And then I heard her screaming. And I tried to get up as fast as I could using the elevator shaft, but when I got to the third floor, I didn't- my senses were going haywire and I couldn't- it took me so long," Peter chokes, "when I found her-" Peter tried again, gasping and covering his mouth like he was trying to swallow the words back down. Tony just sat patiently, trying everything to hide his shattering heart from the teen; the last thing he needed was to make Peter feel guilty for something else he couldn't control.

"When I found her, she was on fire too." Peter finally gets out, the tears fully coming out along with the words. "She had passed out from the smoke and I just panicked. I was so scared- I didn't know what to do, but Karen just started listing off protocols and I rolled her in the carpet to put the fire out and then I grabbed onto her and I broke through the window, and I got her down, but her face-" Peter spits out all at once, almost as if once he got the words out he wasn't about to stop.

"She was my age, Mr. Stark. And now she has to go to school with burns all over her body because I couldn't get to her in time." Peter whimpers.

Tony just stared for a bit at Peter in awe. How could someone so small take on the guilt of the world? This kid was beating himself to a pulp because some girl now had scars. He didn't even care that without him there the girl wouldn't even be alive right now.

Tony couldn't take it anymore; he couldn't sit here and listen to this kid destroy himself anymore.

Slowly, Tony sat his coffee cup on the coffee table and made his way over to the couch. Almost as soon as Tony was sitting down next to Peter, he was pulling the teen on for a hug without even thinking.

For a second Peter just sat stock still in Tony's arms, making Tony think that maybe this wasn't the best idea. He's a grown man hugging some random teen and - yeah - maybe they've been getting closer lately, but he still was thirty-some years older; Peter probably thought he was some kind of creep.

But then Peter suddenly wrapped his arms around Tony tightly, burying his face into Tony's neck and officially breaking down.

Tony just held Peter in his arms, allowing him to get his grief out. The poor kid's shoulders trembled with how hard he was sobbing causing Tony to look up at the ceiling to make sure he didn't start crying with the kid.

He felt so helpless just sitting there while Peter was going through all this turmoil. The kid really deserved so much better and Tony had no idea how to give it to him.

Eventually, Peter's cries began to tamper off and his breathing began to slow, his body finally crashing from the lack of adrenaline and all the emotional distress he had just gone through.

"You saved that girl's life." Tony finally says once Peter's breathing settled enough for him to pay attention to what was being said. "If you hadn't been there, it would have been too late. You gave her a chance, Peter. Nothing in the world is more important than that." Tony earnestly says, wanting nothing more than to have his message get across.

Peter was at least hearing him because he tightens his arms around Tony once the words were floating out in the air.

"You did your best, kid. That's all you can ask from yourself." Tony continues to drill.

"But what if your best isn't good enough?" Peter wavers and - shit - wasn't that the million-dollar question? That was the same exact question Tony's been asking himself since Afghanistan.

Tony just took a deep breath and gave the answer that he wished everyone else would have given him when he asked the same thing.

"Then we keep on trying anyway."

*   *   *

"Where did the Avengers go?" Peter blurts out one night while they were working on web formulas together.

Tony didn't mean to, but he practically froze at the question. He's been trying not to freeze up every time Peter brought up the Avengers - because let's be honest, the teen is constantly talking about them - but usually Tony could tell when a conversation was steering over towards that subject.

He didn't even know what to do when Peter just blurted these kinds of questions out.

"No one knows. That's why it's called being in hiding, kid." Tony tries to brush off, forcing himself to relax and get back to work; although he was no longer focusing on the task at hand.

"You worked with them though - you know them - you don't have any idea?" Peter continues to push.

"If I had to put money on it, I'd say they were in Wakanda, but the hell if I know." Tony huffs, tugging his goggles off and tossing them onto the workbench.

"Thor's in Asgard, though; that I can tell you for sure. And Bruce..." Tony trails off as he thinks about his long-lost friend. As he thinks about the past two years without him, about where he could possibly be, if he was even still alive. He honestly missed him, even though he tried his best not to think about it too much since it always led to memories about them.

"Were you two friends?" Peter cuts through Tony's thoughts, making the scientist look back up at the teen. Tony just stared a bit before huffing, multiple memories of him and Bruce flashing through his mind.

"Yeah, we were. We worked on some projects together. It was fun." Tony says, giving the bare minimum of information like always. Except, like always, Peter continued to gush and talk about the subject.

"That's so cool! Dr. Banner is, like, the biggest expert on gamma radiation ever! That must've been crazy!" Peter practically drools over this bit of knowledge, slowly getting Tony excited about all the good memories he and Bruce had.

"He was really good at the tech stuff, too," Tony adds, his smile slowly growing as he continued to think back on his time with Bruce. "And he was really funny. He didn't mean to be half the time, but there was just something about him."

"Do you think that... do you think that any of them will ever come back?" Peter hesitantly asks, once again bringing up a question that Tony constantly thought about to himself.

Tony stopped to think about it for a second, about what it would be like if the Avengers came back. On one hand, it would be great to have a backup if that threat from above came down, but on the other hand, Tony knew they wouldn't be much help anyway; they would probably be too busy arguing with each other to even save a single person.

"I don't know. A part of me hopes they do, a part of me hopes they don't." Tony honestly answers before turning towards the teen. "Do you?"

"The world needs the Avengers, Mr. Stark. It always has." Peter replies without even needing to think about it.

A sick pit of dread began forming in Tony's stomach when he realized that this was probably the answer most people were going to have towards the Avengers. That, yeah, there were several thousand people who hate the Avenger's guts and everything the Avengers stood for, but there's also probably several thousand people who look up to the Avengers. Who's counting on the Avengers to be there when another threat attacks Earth; and none of them were to be found.

They were going to let several thousand people down once again. That was enough to make Tony want to run for the hills again.

"I think they'll come back." Peter confidently says, breaking Tony out of his downward spiral. "They're heroes. They're the heroes. If something happens, there's no way they can just sit back. That's not what heroes do."

"Not everyone who wears a suit is a hero, Pete. Pretty sure Captain America said that." Tony says, repeating the - unfortunately - familiar words.

"Well, then he doesn't know what he's talking about because the Avengers are heroes even without the suits. I know it." Peter firmly says, a silence falling on the two afterward.

The weird warm sensation was spreading in Tony's chest once again at the thought of Peter actually thinking Tony was something worthy of the hero title; even if he didn't actually know that he was inadvertently talking about Tony.

"And I don't know if I can do it alone. What if something big comes against and it's just... me?" Peter questions in a small voice, not even looking up at Tony. Tony was kind of glad, though, that Peter wasn't looking at him because he knew that he wouldn't be able to give the comforting look the teen was looking for.

He didn't want Peter to know the truth; that he was terrified of that exact situation happening.

"Then we'll figure it out." Tony eventually answers.

"We? No offense, Mr. Stark, but you being on the scene would just stress me out more." Peter huffs, and despite the matter of the subject Tony couldn't help but crack a small and knowing smile, finding the fact that he could be out there with Peter and the teen would have no idea amusing.

"You'd be surprised, Pete."

*   *   *

To say they were all surprised three months later when a gigantic spaceship appeared across the sky was an understatement. Well, Tony wasn't as surprised as he was terrified.

Tony was at work when he just felt a shift in the air. Dread was quickly filling up throughout his body until he could no longer ignore the paranoia and had to look outside.

As soon as he got outside, a ring of sparks began to form, making Tony jump back a bit; especially when a man began to walk out of the sparks.

"Tony Stark? I'm Doctor Stephen Strange. I need you to come with me now." The man announces in a no-nonsense tone.  Tony just continued to stare at the man in complete shock, unsure of what the strangest part of this whole thing was; the fact that the guy's actual name was Strange, that he just walked through an actual portal or the fact that he was dressed in a tunic and cloak.

"Oh, uh, I know you're Iron Man, by the way." Doctor Stephen Strange adds as if that was going to make Tony want to go with him even more than before.

"I'm sorry, who the fuck are you, exactly?" Tony questions, his heart sinking at the idea of someone knowing his alter-ego.

"We need your help. It's not overselling it to say that the fate of the universe is at stake."

The next thing Tony knew, he and Bruce were being reunited, another wizard was telling him some messed up version of the big bang, and now they were fighting aliens in the park.

The threat - the threat - that Tony has been worrying over for almost ten years is here, and Tony really didn't know how to feel about it.

Part of him was relieved - the wait was over and he no longer had to live with the anxiety of guessing what day it was going to happen - and part of him wanted to throw up and keel over because the wait was over - it was here. Everything Tony has been preparing for was finally happening.

All of a sudden, one of the big aliens with a hammer knocked Tony out of the air, slamming him to the ground and getting ready to bash his armor in. Tony made sure to turn his back to the gigantic hammer, hoping that would help with the blow a bit, but the blow never came.

Tony quickly whipped around, trying to see what stopped the alien, sighing a bit when he saw Peter clad in his Spider-Man suit, holding the alien's hammer back.

Tony doesn't even know why he was shocked about the fact that Peter was out there to help, they've literally had discussions about Peter helping against the next threat and his fear of not being enough.

Tony just hates that Peter has to get roped up into something so big at so young.

"Iron man?" Peter whispers in shock once he turned around and actually saw who it was that he saved.

"No time for intros, Kid," Tony says, pushing Peter out of the way of where the alien's arm was swinging.

"Y-Yeah! Of course!" Peter agrees, webbing the alien up so Tony could blast him with his repulsors.

"What's this guy's problem?" Peter questions.

"There's a wizard with a very important necklace and these guys wanna steal it." Tony dryly replies, watching as Peter got flung by a well-timed punch. Before Tony could even react completely and make sure the teen was okay, Strange was zooming past them completely unconscious and on a slab of floating concrete.

"Kid, that's the wizard. I'm going to need you to grab him, can you do that?" Tony instructs, still trying to focus and destroy the stupid alien in front of him.

"Yeah! On it! I won't let you down!" Peter assures, quickly swinging off after Strange.

Tony continued to blast the alien with his repulsors, getting more and more frustrated as time continued and he wasn't any closer to defeating the damn creature.

"Mr. Iron Man, sir? I-I'm being beamed up!" Peter calls after a bit, shooting fear all throughout Tony's body.

"Hang on, kid! I'm coming." Tony promises, zapping a statue in half, hoping that it falls on the alien would be enough to knock it out.

Thankfully, sensing the urgency, Strange's sidekick sucked the alien into a portal to some other place, giving Tony the chance to blast off in the air and chase Peter.

"Mr. Iron Man? I don't- I can't breathe." Tony hears Peter gasps, the fear building the higher they went. The last thing he needed was for the ship to go too far up into the atmosphere; his suit still could only fly up so far no matter how much he worked on it.

"It's the air, it's thinning out," Tony explains, mostly to remind himself that something needed to be done right then and there. "You gotta let go, Pete. I'll catch you." Tony says as a last resort.

Tony knew as soon as he said Peter's name, the kid would put two and two together, but he couldn't find it in him to care as he continued to push his suit to its limits.

"Mr... Stark?" Peter wheezes out before falling off the side of the ship. As soon as Tony saw that Peter was falling he commanded JARVIS to let loose the nanite Spider-Man suit he's been working on for the past couple of months.

Tony didn't let himself even breathe until he saw the nanites wrap around Peter and the teen was laying safely in Tony's arms.  

"I got you." Tony breathes out, quickly flying them and landing back safely on the spaceship. Figuring that the jig was up, tony flipped his faceplate up and began looking Peter all over to make sure he was okay.

"Kid, you almost gave me a heart attack."

"Me? What about you? You're-You're Iron Man! You've been Iron Man this whole time and you never told me!" Peter accuses causing shame and guilt to wash over Tony. He never wanted to lie to the kid, but admitting who he really was just wasn't in the cards at the time.

"I know, and we can talk about it later. But, right now, I have to go grab Strange and you need to go home." Tony sternly says, making sure there was no room in his tone for arguing. Not that that ever stopped Peter.

"No way! I can't leave you here. I-"

"You've done enough, kid. And I can't let anything happen to you." Tony says as he ruffles Peter's hair before pulling away. "JARVIS?" Tony calls out, and before Peter could continue to protest, a parachute is bursting out of the back of his suit, causing him to fly backward and back to the ground.

Once he was sure that Peter was gone and wasn't going to head up to space with them, Tony turned back to the wall of the spaceship and began lasering a hole that he could get through.

Tony quickly began walking all around the spaceship, eventually finding the middle of it where Strange was. The weird Squidward-looking alien was ranting about the stone around Strange's neck, pushing sharp crystals into Strange's skin.

Tony's attention was ripped off of Strange when he felt a tapping on his shoulder, making him whip around and get his repulsor ready. Tony sighed a bit when he saw that it was only Strange's cloak from before, but it didn't do much to settle him. Especially when a familiar Spider-Kid began to slowly drop down in front of his face.

"Peter? What the hell are you doing here?" Tony all but screams.

The reality of the situation quickly began to sink in, leaving Tony breathless. Peter was here. On this spaceship. That was currently in space.

There is no going home after this, this is it. Tony was fully ready to die up in space, seeing this fight to the very end whether he makes it out alive or not. But everything changes with Peter here. He couldn't prepare to die when he has an actual child to look out for and make sure he gets back to earth safely.

"I couldn't just leave you! How could I do that?" Peter basically cries, giving Tony a pleading look; although Tony wasn't going to give in to it.

"Peter, this isn't a trip to Coney Island. This is a one-way ticket, and now you're-"

"This is a fight for the world. That's why you're here, aren't you?" Peter continues to push, making all of the emotions that were brewing inside of Tony bubble over.

"I'm here for you. I'm here because I've known this day was coming for years and it's been taunting me in the back of my mind for ages, and when Bruce and Strange found me I knew I had to do something, but I also knew that it couldn't be you." Tony rants, running his hands through his hair and taking a deep breath in, trying not to blow up too much at the kid. "You've been talking so much about being worried about doing things on your own, and I knew if you saw this ship, you'd come running. And I couldn't let that happen. But, now you're here anyway and this is just another prime example of me being a Class A screw-up."

"I thought I'd given you this whole hero shtick, you know. After everything happened with Steve and the others, I couldn't do it anymore. And, now, I finally feel like I have a reason to put this suit on and believe in something and now you're here risking your life, and do you see how this is a problem?" Tony stresses, needing Peter to see it realistically instead of having his hero-complex clouding his judgment.

"Mr. Stark," Peter begins, his expression faltering as he tries to hold it together long enough to get his point across to Tony, "that's how I feel about your life too, you know. And I know you want to protect me, but who's going to protect you?"

And, damn, what was Tony supposed to say to that?

He was so far from being used to having a team that actually wanted to have each other's backs instead of every man or themselves. If he had someone this determined on his team, including Strange - who was also extremely stubborn - maybe this could work. Tony would just keep as close of an eye as he could possibly have on Peter.

Anything to get the kid back home to his Aunt after all of this.

After a few moments, Tony relented, pulling Peter close and brainstorming a plan with the teen to get Strange free. For once, the kid's pop culture references were coming in handy, because they were able to suck the alien out through the wall and save Strange.

Now they were on an express route to Titan. A whole 'nother fucking planet. With Peter right by Tony's side.

This is going to be a shitshow. That was all that went through Tony's mind on a loop until a few hours later when Peter finally nudged him in the shoulder.

"Why didn't you tell me you were Iron Man?" Peter finally asks the question Tony was preparing for since they got on this stupid ship.

"I was done with it. I tried to save the world and it cost everything. So I tried to run." Tony admits.

"But if you hated superheroes so much, why did you help me?" Peter asks in a tiny voice, making Tony's heartache once again over the fact that the teen still didn't understand what Tony saw in him. As if Tony hasn't been trying to drill it in the past couple of months.

"Because you're someone who deserves the title." Tony smiles, figuring It was time to tell Peter the truth of how he knew about Spider-Man before even meeting him.

"I'd been looking into you before you crashed into my window. I keep tabs on all the new heroes that crop up, just to make sure they're coloring between the lines, so to speak. I guess maybe I was just trying to make myself feel better like the world wasn't going to die without us punching our way through all our problems. I felt like the city was in good hands, and then I met you, and I knew it was." Tony says, sparing a glance at Peter and having to look away when it looked like the kid was about to start crying.

"The Avengers disappeared because of all sorts of reasons. Thor left to find infinity stones, Bruce ran away because he was afraid of the 'monster' inside of him, Natasha needed a family and I wasn't enough, Clint broke the law, and Steve and I lost all trust so he left and took everyone with him. And when they left, I couldn't look at the suit anymore." Tony continues to word-vomit, finally catching Peter's eye.

"I lost sight of what made me put it on in the first place until you came in. The world is in danger and I can stop it. So I have to do something about it." Tony can't stop the smirk from tugging on the corners of his lips after that bit. "Sound familiar?"

Peter just gave a watery smile in return. "A little."

"I've always been better when I have someone to fight for. I want to protect the world, but I also want to protect you from all this," Tony waves his hand towards the window that showed nothing but empty space, "you don't deserve to be here, Peter. You should be out living teen life, worrying about Spanish tests and girls, and I'm going to make sure you go home to it." Tony promises.

And even though it was a gigantic promise, Tony was willing to give his life to see it through.

"We'll both go home." Peter firmly says, his tone of voice leaving no room for argument. "Because we both deserve it. And I'm sorry about everything that happened with the Avengers, but I'm not going to go anywhere. It's my turn to be there for you now Mr. Stark."

And what the hell was Tony supposed to say to that?

All Tony could do was ruffle Peter's hair and try to push aside his breaking heart with only one thought running through his brain.

I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure you don't have to.  

*   *   *

Just being on Titan was enough to have the hair on Tony's body standing on end. Just the reminder that they were in space, that this is the same place Tony saw in his nightmares, was enough to have his anxiety through the roof, but the dread in his body only got worse when Thanos arrived.

The mad titan was exactly that; mad. Almost as soon as Thanos landed on the planet, he was raving about his lost home on the same planet they were standing on; although Tony couldn't care enough to listen to his whole "tragic backstory villain spiel" and apparently neither could everyone else because Stephen was quickly rising with magic swirling around his hands.

Taking that as his cue, Tony blasted off in the air, throwing an entire metal column right on top of Thnaos' head. In retaliation, Thanos began to attack Tony with thousands of black projectiles, which was apparently enough to fuel Peter's fury because the teen began to launch webs into the mad titan's eyes.

Tony tried everything he could while everyone else began to fight to keep an eye on Peter and make sure the teen wasn't getting too deep into the fight. He didn't want to get in the middle of what Peter was doing so he didn't accidentally get him hurt, but it was impossible not to step in once Thanos grabbed the teen by the throat and crushed him into the ground.

Tony instantly saw red and was no longer accountable for his actions. He quickly began to blast Thanos, throwing a bunch of explosives all around him, seething, even more, when he threw Peter away like he was nothing.

Thanos used one of the stones to redirect all of the explosives back at Tony, causing Peter to get amped up once again and run back over to where they were. The teen webbed up Thanos' gauntlet to limit his use of the stones, once again getting thrown to the side.

Tony grabbed a huge chunk of the spaceship and threw it right in Thanos, causing him to tumble to the ground.

Once everyone realized this was the exact moment they needed, they jumped right into action. Strange wrapped the gauntlet up in his magic, Quill threw in a device that pulls Thanos' other hand apart so both his arms were spread out, and Peter began to web up Thanos' chest to try and keep him down.

As soon as Tony was sure Thanos was under control, he flew down and grabbed onto the gauntlet, fully ready to begin yanking on it.

"Sleep." Mantis commands after sitting on Thanos' shoulders, holding her fingers over his temples to make him fall into the trance.

"Peter, get over here. We gotta be quick, she can't hold him much longer." Tony instructs once Thanos for sure stopped resisting it all. Peter dropped his webs and ran over to where Tony was, both of them pulling on the gauntlet with all of their strength.

"Not so strong now, are you?" Quill gloats as he begins walking up to everything, making Tony roll his eyes.

"Alright, toot your own horn later, space-boy, come help us pull this thing off." Tony grits, the gauntlet still only moving an inch off of Thanos' hand.

"He has my girlfriend, I want to know where she is," Quill explains, making Tony's frustration reach its boiling point.

"He won't be answering anything right now, the second we have this thing, though, you'll be able to as him whatever you want. Come on, already!" Tony screams, knowing if something didn't happen right now, this whole plan was going down the drain.

"Quill, I can't hold on much longer." Mantis gasps.

Finally realizing that he needed to give it up, Quill clenched his teeth and reluctantly began helping Tony and Peter yank on the gauntlet. It slowly began to move further, but Tony knew he was going to need a bit more manpower to get it completely off.

"Hey! Blue!" Tony shouts, gaining Nebula's attention. "Wanna help out?" Tony rhetorically asks.

Nebula quickly got the message and ran over to them, helping them all give one last pull. The gauntlet finally came off, causing all four of them to go flying backward.

For a while, Tony just laid on the ground with the gauntlet wrapped firmly in his arms, just trying to process what had exactly happened.

"We did it," Tony whispers in disbelief, "holy shit.

The victory was short-lived, though, because Strange's voice quickly rang through. "Stark! We can't let him get hold of it again."

Knowing exactly what Strange was telling him, Tony got up on his feet and chucked the gauntlet up in the air, grabbing Thanos' hand to help hold him down afterward. Strange didn't waste any time to fly forward and grab the gauntlet; disappearing in sparks of orange once it was all in his clutch.

For a moment, nothing happens. No one really dares to move, trying to figure out if they really did it or not; if it really was that easy.

Tony was looking over his shoulder when it happened - when Quill began to question Thanos once again about his girlfriend - looking Peter up and down just to reassure himself that Peter was still there with him and that he was successful in keeping the teen safe-ish.

All of a sudden, a fight begins to break out, Tony turning back around to see Quill and Drax shooting their guns to try and stave off Thanos' fury.

Thanos - having realized that his gauntlet was now gone - was going on a rampage, tossing everyone who tried to attack him away like they were nearly a piece of paper. He even managed to throw Mantis directly into the ground so hard that the gravel underneath her splintered.

"Stay back, Peter. I mean it." Tony sternly commands. He spent all day making sure the teen made it out of this alive, he wasn't going to risk everything now that they were so close to being sone with all of this.

Tony had his faceplate materialize back over his face, taking a deep breath before going in on Thanos.

Tony made the ovular knife he built within the suit appear out of his wrist, slashing at the mad titan before him. While he was doing that, Tony made all of the missiles loaded in his back shoot at Thanos so he wouldn't be aware of the rest of the attacks coming his way.

Taking Thanos' confusion as his opportunity, Tony threw a souped-up widow's bite at Thanos, making him crumble to his knees. Tony didn't waste time in punching Thano's through some of the rocks there, creating a punching match between the two of them.

Eventually, Tony was able to get a strong enough hit in, sending Thanos to the ground right in front of Nebula. The poor, blue girl didn't even hesitate before taking her sword and stabbing her father clean through his heart, and ending the fight once and for all.

Tony loomed over the purple body, panting and trying to hold himself up now that the adrenaline was leaving him.

Before he could stumble to the ground, Peter was right there, holding him up and giving him a look of adoration and raw love.

"You did it, Mr. Stark. We did it." Peter says, and all Tony could do was pull the teen in for a tight hug and let out a short huff of disbelief.

They did it. It was officially over.

Tony's nightmare that has been living with him, breathing over him, controlling his life, for the past six years, was finally gone.

They did it.

"Yeah. We did." Tony breathes out, still shaking his head in disbelief. "We did it."

"Now let's go home."

*   *   *

Tony was in trouble almost as soon as he got back.

Rhodey and Happy were both waiting for him once he and Peter got back to his apartment, both men looking worried beyond belief.

Rhodey just lectured Tony about how stupid he was going into space alone and how worried they all were while Happy silently agreed and wrapped up all of Tony's injuries.

Rhodey was still lecturing Tony even after Happy finished bandaging him up, making the scientist huff and pull his oldest friend in for a hug. That managed to successfully stop Rhodey from berating him anymore and just left him thankful that Tony was there, alive in his arms.

Since everyone was a bit more settled, Tony was able to finally introduce Rhodey and Happy to Peter, only slightly regretting it when Rhodey pulled Tony to the side and demanded to know if Peter was his secret love child or not.

Eventually, everyone left, needing to get back to responsibilities that the battle only made worse, but Tony was a bit surprised when Peter came back the next day; he figured the kid's Aunt would want him to stay in the apartment for months on end considering he disappeared for the whole day of the battle.

Peter explained that there were quite a few people injured by all the flying debris, though, so his Aunt has been working overtime at the hospital trying to get everyone taken care of.

Of course, that sent Tony into overprotective dad mentor mode - despite him still being bandaged up on the couch - making sure that Peter was comfortable and had everything he needed; even though the kid was adamant that he was able to care for himself for a bit while his Aunt was gone and he only really wanted to check and see how Tony was.

Before they could really even get settled, though, Pepper was barging into the apartment completely unannounced.

Tony just stared at his ex-girlfriend, who stared back, confused about why she was there until she began to shake her head.

"You wonderful idiot." Pepper finally says, plopping down on the couch next to Tony and grabbing his hand.

"I'm so glad you're okay. When I heard about everything that was going on here I just knew that you were going to get involved with it and I just had to get on the next plane and come out here to see if you were okay." Pepper admits, stunning Tony into silence and prompting her to continue.

"I always knew you weren't going to stop until everything that was haunting you was taken care of, and as much as it killed me having to watch you constantly put yourself into the ring of fire, I'm so glad to be able to see you become the man I knew you always were," Pepper says, gently taking Tony's hand into hers.

"I'm so glad to see you be able to rest, now."

Tony wasn't even sure if he could say anything to that, his throat closing in response to all of Pepper's kind words and with the realization of how much he truly missed her presence.

It's not until later on in the day - several hours later when he and Pepper ran out of things to catch up on and Pepper had sent him to bed - that Tony realized Peter had left.

Although, Peter didn't allow too much time in-between for Tony to begin missing him, because the teen was back the very next day and was adamant about taking care of him.

"Kid, I'm fine, I promise." Tony exasperatedly says as Peter brings out an omelet and a cup of coffee made exactly how Tony liked it.

"Any more of this overbearing nonsense and I'll have to go find another bad guy's ass to kick." Tony threatens once Peter begins to change his bandages. Although, Peter must not have appreciated the faux threat because he glared right at tony as soon as the words left his mouth.

"Don't even joke," Peter says before settling down on the couch next to Tony, stiff as a board.

Tony just continued to stare at Peter, watching as the teen would glance at him before looking away and fighting his shirt, only to repeated the process.

"What?" Tony huffs.

"Nothing! It's nothing!" Peter tries to deny it, deflating a bit when he saw the unimpressed and unconvinced look on Tony's face.

"Okay, it's not nothing, but it's not a big deal," Peter relents a little, hunching in on himself as he asks his question. "I was just wondering if... if this means Iron Man's back."

Which, out of all of the questions Peter had about Iron Man, this was the easiest one for tony to answer.

"Yeah. I'm back." Tony replies without hesitation. "I used to think it was about the suit, that that was the special thing. The heroic thing. But it isn't. I am Iron Man, and I always will be." Tony honestly says, letting Peter in on what he was thinking about for the past couple of days.

Looking over at the teen, Tony saw Peter smiling so wide at the conformation that Tony was almost positive the kid's face would split in two. The reaction just made Tony huff and roll his eyes, fully ready to dismiss everything he had said.

"Plus, someone has to keep an eye out on you. I have a heart condition, you should know that by now." Tony teases, making Peter fake groan.

"Oh, my God, you just want to babysit me!" Peter pretends to complain, the happiness shining in his eyes giving his true feelings away.

"What can I say? You're a handful, Parker." Tony continues to tease, grabbing the cup of coffee Peter had made for him. "Sorry to cramp your style." Tony apologizes, despite not actually feeling sorry.

"Nah, you fit just right, Mr. Stark."

*   *   *

Two Months Later 

*   *   *

'Mr. Stark, it appears, Peter's vitals are entering dangerous levels.' Karen chimes in, making Tony put down his soldering iron.

"Pull up his vital readings for me, will ya, baby girl?" Tony asks, sighing when he read over Peter's vital signs. "Put him through for me, please, Karen."

"Hey, Mr. Stark!" Peter greets as soon as Karen connects them, trying to keep a smile on his face to convince Tony that he was alright.

"You can quit the charm, I see your oxygen levels decreasing by the second," Tony replies woodenly, completely unimpressed with the teen at the moment. Of course, Peter just continued to chuckle awkwardly, still trying to convince Tony that everything was hunky-dory.

"It's fine. Everything's fine! I'm just- you know - on the back of a helicopter. But it's chill! Haha, get it." Peter jokes, wincing when there was no response.

Finally, realizing that if Peter was already that far into it, he wasn't going to be able to let the whole mission go, Tony sighed.

"Bring 'em down, Spiderling, and then come over so I can check on you." Tony eventually relents.

"Yes! Okay! Gotcha!" Peter agrees, nodding so hard to show his understanding Tony was surprised his head didn't pop clean off.

"Be careful, kid," Tony warns.

"Always, Mr. Stark!"

Tony sat there for a second after the call ended, rubbing his face and letting all his worry flow out with the deep breath he released.

"Karen, connect with JARVIS and give me a live feed of the fight," Tony commands as he begins putting his tools away, knowing that he wasn't going to be able to focus on anything else other than making sure Peter was safe.

‘Will do!’ The A.I agrees, a holographic video popping up right after.

Tony didn't tear his eyes off of the video for even a second, watching every movement to make sure Peter was doing okay; he even had one of his suits on standby just in case Peter needed him to step in and help.

Once the fight seemed to be wearing down, Tony made his way out to the living room and began ordering some take-out, knowing for a fact that the spider-kid was going to be starving and attempting to eat him out of house and home if he didn't do so.

Timing it perfectly had Tony paying for the take-out just as Peter was coming in through the balcony.

"Is that Thai? Yes!" Peter cheers once Tony turns around, making the older man tut.

"Ah, ah, ah, first, injury report."

"I'm fine! Promise. Even ask Karen." Peter groans, Tony looking the kid up and down just to be sure.

"Fine, I'll believe you. But I will be checking later." Tony relents, only because he watched the video and didn't see anything too life-threatening occurred. "Now, go grab some plates; I'm starving."

"Where's Miss Pepper? She's usually home by now." Peter points out while doing what he was told.

"She has her hands full with the whole 'Iron man is revealed to be yours truly' thing." Tony frowns, shaking his head as he takes the offered plate. "I swear Stephen did it on purpose; dropping us in the middle of the city like that."

Peter just snorted before responding, "I really don't think that was what he was thinking about. I feel like it was more the infinity stones he had? The ones he had to scatter to keep the entire universe safe? Remember that?"

"Details." Tony brushes off as they began to dig into the food and pile their plates as high as they would go.

As they did so, Tony couldn't help but begin to think about everything. About every single little thing that he had now all because of one little thing.

How his biggest nightmare - the thing that constantly dictated every decision in his life - was finally over, how he and Pepper were finally able to talk things out and get back together, how he was happily Iron Man and people actually knew and were happy about it. How he was no longer so lonely that he had no idea how he was going to get by day by day. All because of one little thing.

All because some random ass kid from Queens broke into his apartment and almost bleed out on his couch.

Tony couldn't hold his laugh in at the realization even if he wanted to.

"What?" Peter questions, making Tony laugh even harder at the defensiveness in the teen's tone.

"Nothing. It's nothing. I'm just remembering that you broke into my place and then tried to offer to buy me a new couch."

"Hey! I was stabbed and I was tired and, in my defense, you have the same exact apartments!" Peter defends before looking back down at his plate and mumbling, "And I totally would've bought you a new couch."

Looking at the teen, Tony couldn't feel any more grateful than he did right there. Peter saved him in more ways than one and Tony was almost positive the kid had no idea about it; which didn't sit right with Tony.

"I was dying when you met me. I know I didn't look it, but deep down, where everything counted, I was a mess. But you inspired something in me, kid. And I think it's important you know that. I wasn't alright, and now," Tony gave the stunned teen a small smile, "well, I think I'm doing pretty okay."

Tony didn't even have time to prepare before Peter was launching himself at him and wrapping him in a tight hug.

"You changed my life, Mr. Stark. Even from way before I met you. And I never say it, but thanks for always being in my corner. You've never let me down. Ever. And you're the only- the only one who gets it. Really gets it, I mean." Peter rambles in return, Tony holding the teen as close as he could.

"Jesus, when did this get so mushy." Tony jokes. Just because everything else has changed and Tony was getting better, doesn't mean that he was getting better with feelings and emotions.

"Well, you started it." Peter laughs as he pulls away.

"Hush you. And hurry up and finish, I have a cool project in the workshop waiting." Tony dangles the offer, making Peter perk up instantly.

"Do we get to make things explode?"

"Of course we are. What do I look like to you, a heathen?" Tony replies as if suggesting any other type of project was completely preposterous.

"Okay! Okay! I'm almost done."

"God, finally. Then I'll get the hot chocolate started and-" Tony begins to say.

"-I'll make the coffee." Peter finishes, making Tony smile once again.

Later on in the day, when they've made enough explosives to blow NATO out of the water, Peter decided that them actually managing to get a couple of lines of code written was a good stopping point.

Tony watched as the kid began to put on his backpack, deciding that it was now or never to give him the envelope he's been holding onto for weeks now.

Peter just stares at Tony curiously, which meant that Tony got to see the exact moment what was in the envelope clicked in Peter's head.

Peter quickly began to rip the envelope open, sucking in a quick breath of air when he pulled out a key.

"I figure it was time to stop breaking in whenever you want to come over. Consider this an official open-door invitation." Tony shrugs, hoping that if he remained nonchalant Peter won't make it a gigantic deal.

"Mr. Stark, that's-"

Tony instantly held up a finger to stop Peter from finishing his sentence, knowing exactly what the teen was about to say. "If you say it's too much I might have to throw out all your hot chocolate."

Peter just laughed at the fake threat, knowing Tony wouldn't even try to do anything of the sort. "You wouldn't. But what I was going to say before you just assumed you knew everything was finally. Scaling the building every time was getting really lame."

"You know what, I take it back. Give it here, Parker." Tony teases, pretending to hold his hand out expectantly. In return, Peter let out a cackle as he jumped away from Tony, practically booking it out of the lab.

"No take-backs!" Peter yells, turning back around right before walking out the door completely. "And I'm coming over early on Tuesday to help you with your dinner party thing, don't forget!" Peter reminds.

"Well it doesn't matter, does it? Just let yourself in." Tony says, his chest warming at the smile the teen gave him in return as he left Tony alone once again in his workshop.

For several years, Tony had been alone. He knew he was going to be alone the day he decided to disappear and to run away from all of his problems until they all eventually caught up to him. He was prepared to be alone once everything fell apart.

But now, as he stood there all alone in his workshop, for the first time in a very long time, Tony felt anything but.

Tag List: @spideyspeaches @lost-lunar-wolf @joyful-soul-collector @i-love-my-selfinserts @thatcrackheadsadbitchtm

[ravenadottir]

how do you think the islanders high school prom nights went?

oh nooooo! don’t make me suffer thinking about proms!

ok, um, let’s see.

((edit: it became a bible, as per usual...))

bobby. i can imagine cupcake being nervous to ask a girl to go with him to prom, rehearsing his “promposal” several times in the mirror, and joking about something related to proms that would light up the mood. i picture him with a really cute and shy girl that had her eye on him during chemistry class. and yes, i think he used the chemistry hook to ask her to be his date. he probably did weird worm dances, got the stage for ‘paisley cuddle’ for a three songs, was elected ‘class clown’ and got a good night kiss in front of her house when dropping her off, afterwards.

carl. i don’t want to sound too mean, but if carl went to his prom, he didn’t go with someone. he was too awkward and didn’t pick up the courage to invite the girl of his dreams. he had the corsage bought, but deep down he knew he couldn’t ask her. i must add here, he had a close friend that ended up spending the party with him because they were that connected. carl didn’t have fun, didn’t find the meaning of friendship and danced with his friend. he was too worried about uni applications and his future, and couldn’t wait to run for the hills. his entire high school experience sucked, and his prom wasn’t different. maybe one liberating song that set him free was “gives you hell”, where he didn’t feel like holding back and really let all the weird alien moves out. after that, he left. for good. this is why i think when he tells the story to mc she’ll find a way to throw a prom just for him, with his friends from the villa, where he’ll be picked up in a limo and dance awkwardly, but freely, with true friends. 

chelsea. this girl had fun on her prom, had a really cute guy taking her, the most gorgeous corsage she put together herself and gave it to her date the day before, so he could bring it when picking her up. chelsea had a close group of friends in school and danced the night away. if i know my bra well i think she was in charge of the decor, and you can bet your ass she talked her way into making everything pink-toned. all the blush and millennial pink you can imagine, down to the punch and the tablecloths. she organized everything related to the decor while bonding with a different person in charge of the rest. i can only imagine she had tons of fun at the night of the prom, being taken there in a pink limo. if her date didn’t do it, she would do it for herself, don’t at me!

gary. gary went to this prom, but i don’t reckon he took a girl. at that point of his life he was still “villain” looking, like he said, and i don’t think he had enough confidence to ask someone to go with him. what i do believe is that dicky was there with him, with a six pack and a playlist on his car that would be “infinitely better than whatever those fucking nerds are playing in there, mate!”. they would go in but not stay too long. i don’t think gary was a class clown or a sportist, despite of him playing football early on. he must’ve left that aside while focusing on robotics, so he was pretty much invisible. at least i think he defined himself in those terms. but they would drive somewhere gary adores, like the mountain, to watch the shipyard, have the beers, the music from the car radio and just talk and make fun of the popular kids that listen to ed sheeran. they would stay up all night, making plans for the future, since gary has his forklift license and is more than ready to start working. “cheers, mate.” besides the usual arctic monkeys, i think the song that best illustrates his prom is “mr. brightside” by ‘the killers’. “you know you’re gonna have to come back later for the car right, rennell?” “yeah...” “i’ll come with, you pussy. no need to be so sad.” dicky completed, pouting and draping an arm on gary’s shoulder as they walked home, ties untied, jackets and shirts open.

henrik. this kid couldn’t wait to wear those suspenders, beige pants and white shirt. he definitely had matching boutonniere with the corsage he got for his date, and his hair down. because whenever he hits the dancefloor, he lets his locks down and everyone knows that means the party is about to start. it wasn’t difficult for him to invite the girl he likes and she didn’t even blink before saying ‘yes’. i think he drove there, his friends on the back, singing along to "heroes” a cover by ‘the wallflowers’. i see henrik laughing while spinning a girl in place, catching her, goofing around with his friends while having the time of their lives. he already knew what he wanted to be, and everything was planned out. he drove everyone home and had his first night out with the girl he took to the prom.

kassam. i think kassam did his best to follow the protocol and asked a girl to go with him, got her a cute corsage and planned out the limo bit with his close friends. but i think it truly hit him that everything was going down when he put his jacket on, at the store. he saw himself on the mirror and realized what prom was, to him. it wasn’t just a party he would probably get laid after. i think he partied extremely hard that night, took some stuff, lost control, danced like an absolute asshole and probably ruined the night for a couple of people. it wasn’t smooth or tranquil like he thought it could be, and i really think he regrets lots of things he did that night. except for one. he decided to be the life of the party in different ways.

lottie. her “year 12 formal” was probably the first time lottie had real fun in her high school experience. like priya said before, i think lottie had some control issues and that stops her from seeing the full picture. ending your school experience usually opens your eyes for bigger things, and that’s where i think she really enjoyed herself for a long time. of course she wore a black dress and black and white corsage, if any. probably the first time she dyed her hair, not only a couple of streaks. high heels and black lipstick but just as gorgeous as she is today. maybe not the same level of confidence as today, but she was on the right path, i’m guessing.

lucas. i wanted to say lucas was the prom king, but that didn’t happen. he definitely didn’t know what to do while having a girl linking arms with him. he always felt like an outcast because of his previous experiences in school. always moving away, never staying too long to truly bond with his peers. so prom wasn’t exactly a fun time for him. it was though, the moment he realized he could do anything he wanted, not only conform to what his dad expected from him. the moment he realized that was possible the punch tasted different, the music became more fun, the dance moves weren’t so rehearsed and awkward, and he could truly appreciate what that night represented. i do think lucas wasn’t as smooth as he is today, so you can expect very boring tuxedo+shoes+tie combo, and not a lot of jazz going on with his ride. the whole point of getting a limo is to share it with your friends, but if you’re there for only a few months, then i don’t think there’s a bond strong enough to make you sing along to songs while picking up a girl. truth is, school wasn’t the best time for lucas, and just like carl, i don’t believe his prom was either.

marisol. she had to conform to a dress even though she wanted to rock a suit. at that point marisol already knew damn well who she was, but she couldn’t come out yet. i don’t think she had a very open relationship with her parents, and had to hide it for a while. what i do think though is that she took a girl, and changed into a suit at the dance. her closest friends knew about it and supported her, helping her hide her secret until the time was right. but that didn’t happen that night. she gave her date her corsage, and danced the night away with all of them. i even think her first sexual experience with a girl happened that night. awkwardly but very fully loving experience.

noah. i really think noah had a long term girlfriend by the time he graduated from high school, and she was the lucky girl he took to prom as his date. he asked her in the most traditional way, getting to her by the lockers, after class, possibly proceeding to take her to the library, finding the aisle with his and hers favorite books, then asking her there. the whole shebang of corsage and tuxedo, but no fancy limo bit or big gestures. just what he could afford. his dad took them to the dance and they entered the room being greeted by his closest friends. i do think noah was somewhat popular among the boys, because of his swimming, and the girls because he was so sweet and caring, besides hot! definitely popular enough to get some votes for prom king, but not quite there. i also believe the night of the prom could’ve been the first time he had sex. i could be wrong, but in my head, teen noah would’ve waited for a night as such, knowing what it means to him and to his girlfriend. not a lot of dancing but a lot of talking and watching as his crazier friends would let go and pull off moves no one should.

priya. it wasn’t the most fun she had in her life, that’s for sure. she mentioned a couple of times about her life in school and how hard it was to fit in. i don’t think big things happened for her back then. she tried her best to conform and become friends with people but it wasn’t in her, and eventually, those friendships would crumble. she probably had a date, a boy who asked her, and a couple of close friends, but didn’t feel like that was the fantasy prom she pictured for herself. i can see her wearing something discreet, because the priya we know and love blossomed later in life. besides, it was 2007/2008. emo phases were ending, but the alternative hairstyles were still here. if she had one of those or not, it’s up for debate. but her family doesn’t seem the kind to forbid her from having a haircut of her choice, so… you know what that means for her fashion choices back then! she did have a good time after a while at the dance, but it took her too long to realize it only depended on her. i think she danced, but didn’t really let the beast out. “not the greatest party i’ve been to, and definitely not my hottest look. but i guess no one’s prom is perfect.”

[melchron]

Nightmare Time Episode 3 Thoughts

I usually save this for the end of my thoughts but I have to say this now. OMG MATT DAHAN!!! I WILL NEVER NOT BE IMPRESSED BY HIM! Usually with the episodes I catch 1 or 2 motifs but I swear I caught everyone this time. And they all fit so well. My attention was evenly split between the music and the story this time. It was so freaking good. Matt deserves all the awards like omg.

I think this is the least laggy the theme has been. Good job going all out for the last one!

I said to my mom "Did Shashona record this video?" and she did!! Great cinematography Shashona!!

I also pointed out the Tim's daddy mask. I said "Aww he's wearing a mask for his son!". I guess my mom got confused and forgot Tim's name because she thought I was talking about Dylan's (nonexistent) son.

THE DRILL PRESSES!!

LEX AND ETHAN

I kind of already knew this but I love that Ethan knows cars. I just likes that he has a hobby.

Lex cares about Tom so much I love it.

WHY DID JANE TRY TO KILL ETHAN?!?!?!? TOM DOESN'T WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO HIM!!!! DID SHE HAVE SOME PERSONAL REASONS LIKE WHY!?!??!

That Lexthan interaction was so cute. I love how he saw she was super sorry and scared and he just stopped being mad and comforted her. They are so cute I can't handle it!!

KENDALL!!! Ok so through out this whole thing I know everyone was excited for their favorite character to come back but I really just wanted to see Kendall again. I guess after BF I assumed we would never see her again because I couldn't see them working with children becoming a normal thing. But when the original cast announcement came out I got so happy to see her name. So I was super excited to see her.

Her covering her hair with a beanie looks better than the wig

UNCLE PAUL I'M SOFT I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!!!!!

Cineplex Teen is like Larry from tawog. I guess we should start calling him Obnoxious Teen then. Until we get a name.

I love that Tim immediately likes Becky. Wish I could say the same for my stepparents.

Santa Claus Is Going To High School bb. Also I want to hear the rest of that song. Also also how many wigs does Lauren own?

TONY GREEN

Why must they make love to this movie everytime? Can't we simply just watch it and make fun of like normal people? That way Tim can enjoy it too.

Good for Jane for making sure her son doesn't have to eat disgusting school lunch. She gets good mom points.

Aww Becky reassuring him he's not a Dummy

Becky is like really horny this episode. Honestly Tom's into so go ahead girl

JAIME IS JANE

OK OK OK SO Jane said they were driving home from her parents house. Which means they were still alive when Jane died. That was only a year and a half ago so the Perkins parents might have died more recently than we thought. It's like Spring of 2019 right? So Jane died around Fall 2017. I don't remember if this was said in the show (it probably was and I'm saying nothing new) but I think Black Friday takes place about a year after her death. Tgwdlm took place October 2018. They have to have died only a few months before then. How long had Emma been in Hatchetfield before tgwdlm? Maybe there is a possibility we can see a flashback of an interaction with her parents depending on how long it's been. Also that means Emma lost her whole family in the span of a few months omg. And Tim lost his mom and his grandparents in that time. I want to see how they grieved with all of that. Also I know I'm crossing universes here but Emma also almost died the same day Jane did. Some strange force must really have it out for the Perkins family. Good on Emma for surviving like a champ.

Ok so I thought they went scouting for girls because Jane didn't want the man she loved to have to devote the rest of his life to a car. I thought she was trying to help him move on. She was getting good lover points but those have since been redacted.

Jane is definitely bi and I love that for her. I don't care if she tried to kill her new crush. It was new enough for it to mean nothing.

GREENPEACE GIRL

Tom does look like a creep ngl

Jane reminds us she's a car a lot. Like girl we get it.

No. No. No. NO NO NO NO NO NO NOPE! We're not talking about it. I don't want to. I stared at James the whole and honestly same dude. I saw Nick in my peripheral vision and loved/hated that he was laughing. RIP to me watching this with my mom. RIP to Kendall. Actually rip to everyone who had to sit through that. RIP to Jaime and Dylan for having to perform that. RIP to the cursed rehearsals. Matt and Nick seriously took the time to sit down and write that. What the heck you two?!? This made me more uncomfy than the entirety of mamd and Ted's character combined. I wish I was exaggerating. Maybe this was just me but it felt longer than it needed to. The relief and worry I felt when Tim walked in is a feeling I can not explain. Glad he was clueless.

Tim sweetie I love you but SHUT UP

Jane is crazy and Jaime is doing such an amazing job at portraying that.

Yes Tom. Because grave digging is way crazier than possessed cars.

I asked my mom why the didn't just go grave digging for Jane's body but my mom said the body is probably all rotted and gross so that explains that.

Why didn't Becky just go inside? If she went far enough I doubt Jane would have been able to hit her even if she managed to break into the house. Also let's assume Becky's house had an upstairs. There, perfect safety.

Did Becky seriously die in the same woods as Stanley?

Ok so I thought the tree thing was a reference to little Irish girl Becky from the Black Friday sk10 stream. But now it seems like something more serious and bad happened so I'm curious.

DID JANE GET TOM ARRESTED?!?!? It seemed like she could drive herself at that point. Why not let him get out and get Becky yourself? Is this that self confidence thing Tom talked about?

Is she really about to have her son be obsessed with Ms. Becky for the rest of their lives or is she gonna tell him?

This next episode made me physically jump twice. I say literally a lot but I promise you I'm using it correctly when I say I literally jumped.

KENDALL'S SINGING

I saw the thing about the ukelele being a bday gift from the cast so this was super sweet

Ok personal time. My grandmother's name is Pamela and my mom decided to permanently cut ties with her a few months ago due to her abusive behavior. Me and my sibling are still allowed to talk to her whenever we please but we haven't seen her as much as we used to. I got kind of scared watching this with my mom because I was scared this would trigger something. She didn't say anything and I didn't want to bother her about if she was fine so I didn't say anything. Anyway this just kind of hit different for me.

JAIME'S RANGE OMG

"I want to be alone with my man." Ms what are you about to do to your Tv?

DON'T GIVE HER BEER

Duke seems chill. I like him.

LEX AND ETHAN GOT ARRESTED!?!?!? FOR SELLING HER PILLS!?!??! THAT SHE TOLD THEM TO SELL!?!?!? I HATE HER!!!

Does Ms. Foster have a type or is being male good enough?

Hannah's 14? I thought she was the same age as Tim. I could have sworn in the BF commentary track they said she was 9 or 10. Did my brain make that up?

How does Kim change her hair so quickly? She did this in episode 2 too? I could never. I am very impressed.

Curt and Kim talking over the phone while standing shoulder to shoulder was funnier than it should have been

Ms. Holloway is cool. YAY MOSTLY GOOD WITCHES

How does Ms. Holloway know? I need a backstory please!!

Ok so I saw Jon in his cape and thought he might be the with. But then I saw James in his cape I y'know stopped thinking that. Anyway I'm obsessed with Jon and James in capes. Kind of wish Corey had one too.

OH I JUST THOUGHT THIS AS I'M TYPING NOW ok so that tree she was talking to at the beginning was one of the tree people. I'm embarrassed it took me this long to realise it.

Hannah is way too calm about these talking trees and sometimes spider ladies. I respect that.

There was a lot of black and white theming in this episode. More than normal. It makes me more curious about what exactly Hannah's connection to it is.

Hannah almost died in her own mind. I was kinda hating Ms. Holloway in this moment because she forced Hannah to go into her mind. But I know she had to so I'm cool with her again.

THE STARLIGHT THEATER

Did she really say just don't be scared next time? Like miss some actual advice would help.

CAN MS. HOLLOWAY'S MIND LEAVE HANNAH ALONE?? Like I know you didn't get the reaction you wanted out of her but you're seriously gonna give up and go for a little girl instead. Pathetic.

"What's shakin', Banana?" That was the first time I jumped.

WIGGLY

What exactly is that 6-legged girl? I wish we had a visual. Also how couldn't Ms. Holloway help her? What was her issue? Npmd you got anything for me?

Wiley. Just seeing him come up. That was the second time I jumped.

Also everyone already said this but props to Joey for his commitment. Shaving in between episodes like omg sir you didn't have to go all out for this. But you did and I appreciate you for it. Also HE KEPT THE JACKET?? WHAT!??! Just fully committed to this character go off Joey!!

Usually I would laugh at stuff phasing through the green screen but this just made it creepier.

HOLLOWAY AND WILEY/WILBUR BACKSTORY PLEASE

But also I love how the script had him listed at Wilbur above his lines. I remember Nick called him Wilbur once in the commentary track (possibly by accident) but it's nice to have it in cannon. I don't remember I any of the characters called him Wilbur because I'm so used to seeing Wilbur and Wiley used interchangeably but this was just nice to have canonized.

DUKE PAY ATTENTION!! FREAKING USELESS RIGHT NOW!!!

Dang Wiley she was already being choked in the physical world you didn't have to choke her in her mind too calm down

YAY MORE DOLLS

NICK I WAS KIDDING ABOUT AN APOTHEOSIS DOLL

Is the mouth one (I see we've named him Nibbly. Good because his full name is too long to type out) gonna be the npmd villain? The pick color theme seems cool.

ANGELA'S TRANSITION THOUGH!!! Omg she switched roles seamlessly. And her voice too!! Go off Angela.

MARIAH IS WEBBY

This is random and unrelated but I never noticed how big Mariah's eyes were before.

So Webby and the Doll Gang are all siblings? I find it interesting that the were described to all where black. And Webby's color theme is white. Like how the good and bad ukeleles were white and black. This might sound really dumb see as we don't have a 100% accurate visual of the black and white but I wonder if Webby ever left would it be 100% black? Like if Wiggly went through the portal would it become a little less black? Does this make sense? Also I'm starting to see the black and white as less of a bad place. Its starting to see more ominously neutral.

Hannah's favorite show is He-Man no I do accept criticism.

Ms. Holloway is a nerd. She saw Hannah make the reference and was like "Huh. I f she likes He-Man maybe making this hat a reference will make her like me." She would only know if she watched the show. But then again she seems to be stuck in the 80s so maybe she just thinks that's what's popular with the kids.

MS. HOLLOWAY PLEASE GET LEX AND ETHAN BACK

AND ANOTHER GREAT SONG TO END IT OFF

This episode was......a lot. So much happened. Loved all of it. I am scared of Nick and Matt's minds but also incredibly grateful for them. As usual everyone's acting was top notch.

I love this episode.

Also I'm just gonna say it. Jon ruined Nick's season one reveal.

[monicaaaaatje]

DaisySous drabbles - The one where they have a kid

The moment he had kinda settled in 2020, he had thought the most crazy stuff in his life had passed. How much crazier could a life get after all? He was a 30 something guy who had travelled 70 years into the future and had gotten into a relationship with an enhanced individual who was basically a super hero. Sounds like enough peculiarity for one life, right?  Nope.  These last few days he had thinking back of his old life: Living in the fifties, working with Peg, Howard and Jack- If he could tell Jack Thompson how his life now looked like, the man would probably die from laughter, believing it was the worst joke someone had ever told him.  They were in the year 2023 now. Him and Daisy lived somewhere on an abandoned mountain top running a secure Shield save haven for inhuman, and the most unpredictable thing had happend.  They were having a kid.  At first, Daniel had not been that surprised. Condoms broke. That happend. But when Daisy had gone through the entire list of precautions women could take in the 21st century to prevent unwanted pregnancies, he had had the same face of shock as she had had.  It was logic he was bloody terrified of course. Becoming a dad in a time he had only just gotten to understand for himself- How was he supposed to manage?  The “becoming a dad” part had actually made him quiet happy. That had never been the issue. Back in his late teens and early twenties, he had always babysat the kids from his two sisters. There had been a time he had thought this life wouldn’t be a life put away for him, but fate had thought otherwise.  “Hey.”  She dropped down next to him on the couch, while he was drown in his thoughts.  “Hey yourself.”  When she had explained the idea of an abortion to him (she had needed to explain the modern definition of it first... In the fifties, abortions had been sneaky sessions with cutwives in backrooms), he had openly freaked out. Later, he understood why she had suggested it: She was even more terrified than he was. Scared for the kid his inhuman heritage. Scared for what could become of a kid that was part inhuman and part time traveller. She had been most of all terrified of what her powers would do during the pregnancy and a possible birth. They had discussed it. His brain had even more exploded when Fitz had given him a book about pregnancy and everything that came with in the 21st century. His brain had  had so much trouble with progressing everything, he wasn’t really sure if he had wanted to yell or kick against a wall.  “How was your appointment?”  “It was okay. Jemma says the baby looks good, but there is something else we should discuss.”  The wonders of the twenty first century seized to amaze him. Their friend Dr. Jemma Simmons had of course insisted to become Daisy her personal doctor - who else do you expect to deliver an inhuman kid - and when Daisy had been half along, she had introduced him to an invention from 1956: A sonogram.  You could see your kid before it was even born. His brain had been able to handle this much, but how was it possible that something like a sonogram made his head explode?  Not that he would ever show it to Daisy. She knew a part of his worries about current life, but she didn’t need to know everything.  “I’m 30 weeks along now and Jemma says we should really get a long with what we want for the birth. I know it’s not a real thing guys deal with in the fifties and I don’t want you to do anything you are uncomfortable with, but in 2023 it’s a real thing. Guys don’t wait in the waiting area anymore.”  “That’s a good thing, that’s at least one thing we can be certain of,” he replied. “I remember in 38 having to wait with my brother in law to hear about my sister who gave birth to my niece. There is no fun about being forced to wait in a room because the delivery room “is no place for a man”. It’s not what I would prefer.”  “Then what would you want?”  He could see her true interest and regard for him in her eyes. She truly was the best thing he had gained by stepping on board of the Zephyr. If only Jack would see them right now- “I... I don’t know. Fitz gave me a weird book that made strangely uncomfortable, so... What is the normal deal now? What would you want?”  He might not understand everything about having kids in the 21st century, but one thing hadn’t changed: Guys weren’t the ones doing the heavy lifting.  “I...”  Having him ask her what she would want in all of this was something she had definitely not expected.  “I would like you to be there. Hold my hand. Be your crazily calm self that sometimes creeps me out. But if you any moment-”  “Daisy...”  He squeezed her handpalm in both of his.  “Do you remember what happend the first time you ended up in medical?”  “You refused to leave and ended up half drooling on a chair?”  He smirked.  “Jemma asked me if I still wanted to leave, before the Zephyr would jump to the following location. I refused, because I knew exactly where I needed to be. That’s exactly where I need to be again.”  He brought her hand, which was still in his hands, to his lips and pressed a kiss on it.  “So... Now we got that out of the way... Simmons wants to perform a C-section in one and a half months.” 

___________________________________________________________________

6 weeks later...

He had just accepted that he would never be able to wrap his head around it. Deke had told him that was probably for the best: Having it all figured out would probably result in a basilar skull fracture.  The last couple of weeks, Daisy had barely done anything else then just laying in bed, sleeping. Her frame was petite, so the entire pregnancy was already taking an extra tole on her body. It had hurt him that he hadn’t been able to do anything for her.  “The best thing you can do is be patient. They’re doing the heavy lifting. We’re only there for support.”  He had talked a lot. To Fitz, who was the only other father in their self assembled family. To Coulson, who was the only one who somewhat understood how this felt for someone who wasn’t from 2023.  Daisy had been completely put under. Jemma had explained to them why that would be for the best: A quake out during the push and pull work during surgery wouldn’t be for the best. Daisy hadn’t liked it, but she understood. When she understood, Daniel did.  “Promise me you’ll stay with her. Promise me.”  They knew it was going to be a girl. She had basically ordered him that if she was the unconscious one, he had to look out for their little girl. He had happily agreed. Sitting next to Daisy, stroking her hair while Simmons worked... Some of his nerves had calmed down. Not all of them. Crying wails of a baby made him look up from Daisy’s face.  “Congratulations! Your girl is here!”  Some of Simmons her assistants took the baby away for some check ups.  “She’s here. Our girl is here.”  He pressed a kiss on Daisy her forehead. Not that much later, he got given a bundle in his arms.  “Hello you.”  If only Jack Thompson would see him right now... The man would never believe the story. 

[industrious-sloth]

9. FOLKORE by Taylor Swift

Oh boy. Let me preface this by saying I am a late convert to Taylor Swift. I didn’t like he country albums, I really did not appreciate being bombarded by news of what she was up to despite not having asked; and didn’t think she could sing. Once I blacklisted the #taylor swift tag, though, I found that I could enjoy some of her pop stuff isolated from all the discourse around it. Blank Space still is my favourite song of hers, something a righteous and true swiftie might sneer at (there’s a great episode of the Switched on Pop podcast explaining why Blank Space works so well, back from when it first came out).

There’s this strange thing about Taylor Swift’s albums, though. I never like them the first time I listen to them. It’s not that I blatantly dislike them, but they take some getting used to. Take hoax, for instance, which at first ranked between blah and meh, yet now is one of my favourites. In no way is this odd effect exclusive to Folklore, either – last year’s Lover, which remains her best in my opinion, also needed to grow on the listener, as did Reputation. Evermore is yet to grow on me, but at this point I doubt it will – she would have done better by launching it as a B-side to Folklore as opposed to as its own album, because it really just sounds like the Folklore Rejects Compilation (apart from Long Story Short and Champagne Problems).

All of this got me thinking about the number of chances we give albums before we make up our minds about them. Would I have enjoyed Folklore as much as I did, in the end, had it not been in everyone’s mind? Had it not been trending for the entire week it came out, would I have given it another shot? Some albums do take longer to reveal themselves, so how do you know when they simply won’t? Am I going to stand corrected in two months saying that actually, Evermore is a fine album? And if I do, wouldn’t it be a little messed up that it is only due to how unescapable Taylor Swift is? Furthermore, how can I even tell whether Folklore is a good record or if I have simply been overexposed to it, having come to find comfort in songs to which I know the lyrics and notes? How can one even attempt to find common ground in criticism when one is forced into “Distant Listening”?

Perhaps we would do best to start at the more basic level, no discourse: just the good, the bad, and the weird. Actually, let’s start with the bad, as that is always more fun for evil-spirited people such as myself: I hate the grammar in this album – and by that, I don’t mean the pretentious interactions some critics refer to as grammar, but the actual grammar. I am an English teacher, and pop singers really complicate my life when they take a perfectly usable song to teach students English, and ruin it with bad grammar. It happened last year with The Man  – why couldn’t she have said If I were a man? Why, god, why? I could have been able to teach them second conditionals and feminism– and again in songs here.

Take The 1, for instance, where she says “if you wanted me, you really should have showed”, instead of the correct participle form shown. It wouldn’t have made any difference whatsoever, rhyme or song wise, the one thing it would have done is save the life of ESL teachers everywhere. In this same song, she constantly uses “would’ve been” when she should be using “had”. Listen, I would not be pointing this out were it not extremely bothersome to me as a Brazilian English major. I start getting like Henry Higgins, about to burst into Why Can’t the English Teach Their Children How to Speak? If I ever made such mistakes, people would think I didn’t speak proper English.

Honestly, the 1 isn’t even the worst song grammar-wise – I can still listen to it and enjoy it, unlike mad woman, which is every ESL teacher’s nightmare. I can just imagine a snarky pre-teen going “But Taylor Swift says more crazy instead of crazier and more angry instead of angrier, and she’s American, so she’s right!” and closing the book on comparatives. Why must Taylor make my life so hard? Also, what’s up with the lower-case titles? That’s just pretentious. And yes, it’s annoying when Ariana does it as well.

Anyhow, this is a great album despite my pet-peeves. The storytelling is fun, the lyrics brilliant as usual, and Taylor’s realisation that she doesn’t always have to write about herself even better. I also love the unrequited rhymes in this, You heard the rumours from Inez/ You can’t believe a word she says is such a kooky combination, it’s practically insane. Those, nevertheless, make startling appearances all over the record, here’s another one, from last great american dynasty,  which could have been written for Lana Del Rey: The wedding was charming, but a little gauche/ There’s only so far new money goes.

Taylor really rhymed Inez with says, and gauche with goes. And it worked. Also, when she sings “I’ve been meaning to tell you your house was haunted”… What do you mean, you’ve been meaning to tell them? Is it not pressing enough?

“Oh, by the way, I’ve been meaning to tell you, I saw a poltergeist at your house.”

“What, like, now?”

“No, I saw it a couple of months ago. Forgot to mention it.”

Incredible. I love lyrics that make you think – not in a philosophical or existential way, just, you know, about the situation their acceptance of their premise actually requires. Even the metaphors: my only one, my smoking gun. What does that mean? I don’t know, but I want to think about it until it makes sense!

Obviously, betty is everyone’s darling, but this is me trying is the real lyrical masterpiece of this album, at least for all clinical depressives out there, including yours truly. Is it extremely bold of Taylor Swift to write a Former Gifted Kid anthem, considering she has not ceased to put out hit after hit since she was in her teens? As an ex-gifted kid myself, I am okay with it as long as it’s good and accurate.

Folklore has so many secrets, so many auburn leaves paving its way, we could not possibly talk about every one of them. It has certainly felt like a quarantine album in that it’s been a fine quarantine companion, always whispering something new.

Best song: Spotify Wrapped doesn’t lie, and it’s my tears ricochet even though some of the lyrics in it are sort of over-the-top (I’m seriously talking about every time the word ricochet shows up, and nothing else).

Skip: mad woman. I cannot listen to it. Infuriating.

Best lyrics: You told me all of my cages were mental/ So I got wasted like all my potential (this is me trying)

I mean, how can you beat that? I’m seriously asking. For a friend

[punkscowardschampions]

Zelda & Zach

ihatemyguts: Good thing you told me how bubble boy posi Robyn’s ‘rents are

ihatemyguts: ‘cos that felt like such a brush-off

ihatemyguts: I feel kinda bad, it’s low-key just upset her with no shopping trip pay-off 😬

inandout: your first date was today

inandout: the insane jealousy must have forced me to forget

ihatemyguts: Obviously

ihatemyguts: moping and staring out of open windows would be bad for your health

ihatemyguts: probably

ihatemyguts: can’t have that

inandout: mope hard enough and fling myself all over the house, they’ll call it exercise

ihatemyguts: I’d let Rob know but her parents would probably sue me

ihatemyguts: I did some research

ihatemyguts: and yeah, flare-ups fucking suck, but if she was struggling that bad rn she’d be in hospital getting her 💉 on

ihatemyguts: makes me ⁉️ if the meetup will happen

inandout: makes me wonder if her brothers are allowed out

inandout: if they are maybe they can help us smuggle her to the meetup

ihatemyguts: not just a pretty face

ihatemyguts: that’s a damn good idea

ihatemyguts: I can slide in their DMs

inandout: Cranking up the jealousy metre to give me a full work out, I see, are you gonna be a PE teacher when you grow up?

ihatemyguts: *prays they aren’t like 12*

ihatemyguts: imagine if that was my life’s ambition

ihatemyguts: wear unflattering sportswear and give kids complexes

ihatemyguts: even without the potential life-shortening illness, I’d reconsider that

inandout: it tracks that you’d wanna make them 💩 and bringing back the bleep test could work

ihatemyguts: okay I’m not 🦹‍♀️ or 🐯 levels of sweet but is that what you really think of me? 😏

inandout: I think there’s only one rebel teacher coming to mind and I haven’t watched that film so all I know is they stand on desks

inandout: probably not a perfect fit for you

ihatemyguts: I could force you to watch it for our first date

ihatemyguts: and ask you, what your dream job would be

inandout: Netflix and chill or cinema screening of the ‘classics’?

inandout: we could do a drive-thru

ihatemyguts: hmm 🤔

ihatemyguts: there are pluses to ‘em all

ihatemyguts: cinema, we could laugh at all the snobs and 🤓s

inandout: Cool, reach out to me with the time + date when it’s showing

inandout: Are you allowed 🍿?

ihatemyguts: oh hell no

ihatemyguts: have to find another way to hold my hand

inandout: 🦸‍♀️ said she was gonna look up ice breakers and stuff, hopefully it was a fruitful search and she won’t mind sharing the info

ihatemyguts: do you think she legit didn’t realize how thirsty that boy was for her

ihatemyguts: or is it all uwu coy-ness

inandout: It’s hard to tell

inandout: but if I remember my glasses I’ll do my best to decode her body language from 6 ft away

ihatemyguts: aside from hospital, have you ever met someone else with cf?

inandout: Nope

inandout: jokes aside, it really is discouraged

ihatemyguts: that’s a hard one to get your head around

ihatemyguts: far as adjustments go

inandout: getting Robbie at this meetup won’t be easy

inandout: separate ones mean we might not have her there

ihatemyguts: I reckon we can trust you and Kara to keep the teen love story fictional

ihatemyguts: for all our sake’s

inandout: She’ll get her man

inandout: it’s not like bad advice and dating pitfalls are just a click away

ihatemyguts: cosmos never steered ANYONE wrong

inandout: Yahoo answers neither

ihatemyguts: might be confused as to why they’re not related

inandout: [I like to think he’s just sending his fave yahoo answer answers now for the lols]

ihatemyguts: [meme back and forth lads]

ihatemyguts: if she gets her date we could go into the matchmaker business

ihatemyguts: start at home

ihatemyguts: 🤖 don’t last forever

inandout: Rob’ll need to be next or she won’t forgive us

inandout: and we’ll soon get tired/guilty of seeing the amount of 😿💔 spam the chat

ihatemyguts: we’ll have to liberate her first

ihatemyguts: in a literal way

ihatemyguts: not the pretentious, free your 🧠 type of vibe

inandout: Kidnap’s playing into her parents’ fears but we don’t have a better option

ihatemyguts: now it’s my turn for a potential 💡

ihatemyguts: what if that is exactly what she should do

inandout: jump scare them?

ihatemyguts: if she did some actual wild shit to show them they’re being suffocating, ‘scuse the mention, then they’ll have to compromise and let her do normal kid things and everyone will win

ihatemyguts: I realize getting her to wild out might be a problem

ihatemyguts: catfish it though?

inandout: 💡⭐️

inandout: getting her to agree to do it for real would take longer than we have but you’re right, faking it wouldn’t take any time at all

ihatemyguts: get Lauren to picture whatever the hell she’s up to

ihatemyguts: sorted

inandout: + there’s your next photo challenge ready to be accepted, dressing as if you were going on a date with 👵🌈✨ instead

ihatemyguts: hold my neon

ihatemyguts: and think, do we clue Rob in on this plan now or do it on her behalf first, ‘cos we could hit up her house phone with some madness to get ‘em sus now and when she’s like wuuuuut it’ll sound even more

ihatemyguts: or is that a bit evil genius instead of 🦹‍♀️

inandout: Does she even have a house phone? We don’t

inandout: you’ll have to find another way to trick my parents into believing I’m a badass

ihatemyguts: I bet they do

ihatemyguts: can’t trust a mobile

ihatemyguts: and I bet they don’t have a microwave, they’re that sort

ihatemyguts: obvs I’ll just direct them to Lauren on your friends list with a 🤔

inandout: We should probably warn her, in case she takes it the wrong way

inandout: or decides to stand up to them for her YA movie moment

ihatemyguts: yeah, you’re right

ihatemyguts: if she doesn’t go for it, her brothers might be of use still

ihatemyguts: have to focus my evil energy elsewhere

ihatemyguts: such as…

ihatemyguts: 🥁

ihatemyguts: [one of the crazier lewks from babyteeth for the photo challenge]

inandout: 🤞🏻 one of them is old enough to drive the people carrier

inandout: Uhh… that was a suspiciously fast transformation

ihatemyguts: didn’t know you was challenging a pro?

ihatemyguts: and someone with a lot of time on her hands

inandout: I do now

inandout: and I’m guessing it’s not every day you get stood up based on what else I know about you

ihatemyguts: it’s a first

ihatemyguts: not that I constantly ask people out

ihatemyguts: but that is what I’ve put across so fair enough

ihatemyguts: what am I interrupting for you?

inandout: I’m waiting on friends

inandout: this could end in both of us being stood up

ihatemyguts: am I a drag you down with me type?

ihatemyguts: hmm

ihatemyguts: nah, I’ll cross my fingers that your friends aren’t flaky

inandout: Late, but I’d be too if it wasn’t my house

inandout: What are you gonna do now shopping’s off?

ihatemyguts: life is one big photo challenge, right

ihatemyguts: yours is ‘whatever will make your friends double-take when they open the door’

ihatemyguts: it’s a good question

ihatemyguts: we’re going to virtual shop tomorrow but she wasn’t up for it today

inandout: Wait for it and their faces

inandout: + you’re virtually invited to watch movies and play games, you won’t be the only one who isn’t here in person

ihatemyguts: 👍

ihatemyguts: cool

ihatemyguts: meeting new people is my new thing, as long as your mates are down/not the level of nerd that they might get a nosebleed if a girl is about

inandout: Some of them are girls if that helps

inandout: and my brother won’t be there to bring down the cool

ihatemyguts: low-key a shame

ihatemyguts: have to meet him before the first date though

inandout: I’ve got a father you can ask for permission if you’re feeling old-fashioned

ihatemyguts: full set

ihatemyguts: fun

ihatemyguts: mines in scotland so we’ll let you off that trek

inandout: But a road trip is a coming of age movie staple! 😫 Has Netflix aired any YA without one + are you willing to take that risk?

inandout: mine’s a workaholic but we’ve got years to catch him

ihatemyguts: forget the meds, see who gets fucked up first

ihatemyguts: it’d be a journey, for sure

ihatemyguts: do you know what he does? ‘cos so’s mine and I couldn’t tell you, tbh

inandout: Or mix them up and see what happens when you take the ones for my 💩

inandout: He’s a sales manager, he says, but why so vague?

ihatemyguts: sounds like something they’d do at cool parties

ihatemyguts: and that sounds suspish

ihatemyguts: they should have this 🤓 but with a moustache instead of the buckteeth

ihatemyguts: dads are elusive creatures… conspiracy time, what are they all up to

inandout: Not sure that’s the topic Rich has been watching vids on but I’ll ask

ihatemyguts: he can always tactfully ignore you if he’s 😳

ihatemyguts: like he does with 👵🌈✨ when she’s extra

ihatemyguts: more than usual

inandout: Be harder to do that in person

ihatemyguts: I think everyone will still get on

ihatemyguts: unless fibrofog shows, then that’ll be teen show worthy drama, of course

inandout: I think he’s genuinely blocked, he’d need a 2nd account to find out about it

ihatemyguts: hope he’s seen catfish too

inandout: He’d be a fan of the one where the man refused to believe it wasn’t Katy Perry

ihatemyguts: it does seem like the sort of thing she’d do

ihatemyguts: poor bastard

inandout: 😂

ihatemyguts: ultimate photo challenge, catfishing everyone and then going for the ruveal

ihatemyguts: might need more than just a wig 🤔😏

inandout: Dressing like her would make my friends do a double-take

inandout: [pics of some of her outrageous lewks with his head put on]

ihatemyguts: 😂😂😂

ihatemyguts: you suit the 🍦🧁🍭🍩✨

inandout: We’ve probably got a can of squirty cream lying around for hot chocolate

ihatemyguts: inhaler but make it ~sExxxIii~

inandout: [a lil video of his failed attempt to re-create that in her insta DMs or wherever because idk if they can send stuff like that here]

ihatemyguts: Katy dat you 😍😍

inandout: I’ve agreed to only string you along for 4 years not 6 and I don’t have any savings to spend 25% of on a 💍

inandout: looks like the comparison starts and stops with our black curls

ihatemyguts: not much of an orlando bloom clone myself so it’s alright

ihatemyguts: pirate is always an excellent disabled-friendly costume though so add that to the ideas board we should start

inandout: If we decide the next meetup is fancy dress, Lauren will never go back home

ihatemyguts: that’s the mood

inandout: [sends her whatever he did for the photo challenge and his friends reaction to it because why not say they’ve arrived and there’s a similar feral mood here]

[mitchmarnier]

SEMI CHARMED LIFE | CHAPTER FOURTEEN| 3.7K | TEEN

“You guys have kept in contact this whole time?” Bill asked, brow disappearing underneath hair line as he looked like his old friends in amazement. “And you guys are.. what? Room mates?”

Eddie avoided looking at Richie as he answered. “Yeah, uh… room mates. Something like that.”

[or: the adult!losers reunion, done 2000s sit-com style, just like we all deserve.]

PREVIOUSLY ON SEMI CHARMED LIFE: CUTEST COUPLE. Richie traced his hands over the words, smiling softly as he took in the appearance of himself and Beverly Marsh at fifteen. Hair that hadn’t been tamed on either part, paisley patterns and braces on Richie’s teeth. Himself looking like the best thing that could ever happen to him was standing there with Beverly Marsh in his arms, having their picture taken for their high school yearbook. | “I think… I think you, Richie Tozier, are the only good guy I’ve ever dated.” Richie looked down at her with a bemused smile. “Beverly, aren’t you married?” |  Richie, it’s been ten years, man. I’ll regret what I did to you every day for the rest of my life but I’d really like to move past this. You were my best friend for fifteen years before that, and I... I’ve always missed you.” “You know….” Richie shook his head and frowned. “I thought I was past this, I thought I was easily eight years past what you did. But now I’m here, looking at you and having to listen to you go on about what a great experience you had at school and how in love you are and I…. I want to be happy for you, Stanley, but I can’t. Because you stepped on me to get it.” | “Wow…” Eddie chuckled slowly.  “You’ve got some      serious    issues, Beverly Marsh. Get the fuck out of here.”

Author’s note/Warnings: A vague mention of a suicide attempt mentioned in this chapter!

permatags: @thundercatseddie​, @eddiekabsprak​, @appojoos​, @s-s-georgie​, @kaspwitch​, @jwilliambyers​, @tozierking​, @eddiefuckinkaspbrak​, @sloppybitchardtozier​, @chaotickaspbrak​, @vipertooth​, @edstozler​, @anellope​, @tozierpunks​, @thorn-harvester-ven​, @wheezyeds​, @emgays​, @thegoths​, @wilding-throught-thehallways​, @reddie-to-cryy​​,

Beverly hugged Richie’s sweater tighter around herself and settled on the subway bench. She’d lied to Ben, after everything at the Kaspbraks’. Promised she had a place to stay, somewhere to go that wasn’t work. And Ben, bless him… Ben had believed her. People needed to stop taking her at face value, because she somehow now managed to lie without flinching. She didn’t know when she became this person, but she knew that a younger version of herself would be disgusted by it. Maybe this version of her was disgusted, too. 

Beverly leaned onto her side and curled up, jacket still tightly around her. She didn’t remember falling asleep, but she must have because next time Beverly opened her eyes, a teenage Richie Tozier was sitting on the bench beside her head. 

“SHIT!” Beverly cried, scrambling to sit up. Richie smiled at her, braced-faced and acne covered. Curls completely fly away and nose covered in freckles. Fifteen years old, maybe sixteen. But he sure as hell didn’t match Beverly’s twenty eight years. “Fuck, I’m loosing it.” 

“We can agree on that,” Richie said, grinning childishly at her. “What the hell are you doing, Beverly? Come on.” 

Beverly let out a shaky breath. “Okay, is there like… acid in the air? Or something.”

“I think you have to physically take acid,” Richie said, crinkling up his nose. “But I don’t really know. But I can promise you that you’re not on any drugs or anything weirder than it seems.”

“So I’m just crazy.”

“No crazier than you’ve always been.” Richie said, bouncing up to his feet and holding a hand out to her. “I’m here to help you, Bev. Help you get your shit together before you ruin everything for good.”

“I’ve already ruined everything for good.” Beverly said, refusing to accept the hand that Richie was holding out to her. “Eddie hates me, you hate me… I cheated on husband, and I ruined things with Ben, and I… I’m living on a subway bench! I’ve hit rock fucking bottom. 

“We all hit rock bottom at some point.” Richie said, words too wise for his young-again face. “That doesn’t mean your life is over, or that you can never crawl back up. It just means you need to look back and figure out where shit went batty.”

Beverly exhaled hard, and grabbed Richie’s hand. There was a pull in her gut, like she’d started the drop off a huge rollercoaster. She squeezed her eyes shut to swallow back the rush of  nausea and when she opened them, she was standing in much too familiar living room. One she hadn’t seen in over a decade, but she suddenly recognized without a doubt. She sighed, the sight of herself and even younger Richie sitting on the white couch not far from where she was now standing. 

“Oh my God,” Beverly groaned, rolling her eyes. “You guys really just let me walk around dressed like that?”

The Richie by her side chuckled and knocked at Beverly with his elbow. “You looked beautiful. You always looked beautiful, but something about this night… You know.”

“Yeah.” Beverly whispered. She turned to Richie and swallowed roughly. “Why did you bring me here, Richie? I know what happens.”

“No, you don’t.” Richie said with a shrug. “And that’s your problem. You think you know, but you don’t. All you know is what you remember happening to you. But there’s always something else going on around you, but you don’t see.”

Beverly looked back at the couch, taking in the sight of her teenage self and Richie sitting pressed together on Greta Keene’s fancy couch. Teenage Beverly ran her fingers through Richie’s curls, leaning close enough that she was half on his lap. It was the moment of something, Beverly remembered this night. Before this, before Richie in those ugly yellow shorts and too much alcohol in both their systems, Beverly had never considered Richie as anything more than her annoying Trashmouth friend. After this night, he was her boyfriend… for a long time. Her first heartbreak. 

“So, what am I missing here?” Beverly asked, watching Richie lean in closer to herself and knock their noses together. 

“Eddie.” Richie said simply, looking over his shoulder. Beverly followed his gaze, seeing a tiny, 14 year old Eddie Kaspbrak leaning against the wall of the living room. He was making a show of talking to Bill, but Eddie could see where Eddie’s eye line was. Where it followed to. A weird sense of guilt fell into her stomach.

“That whole time?” Beverly asked Richie, unable to take her eyes off of Eddie. Eddie, with perfectly styled hair, and polo shirts. Tube socks, and fanny pants. This Eddie barely looked a day older than the day than the day Beverly had befriended. She loved him so fucking much. 

Richie made a clicking sound with his tongue. “You doubt it? After everything, you’d think you’d have accepted that Eddie and I belong together.”

“I don’t…” Beverly sighed. “I just didn’t think it went that far back. I never thought…”

“You had no reason to.” Richie said. “Let yourself off that hook before you put yourself on it. You aren’t a bad person for dating somebody that somebody else- especially if you didn’t know.”

“I can’t decide if I should feel guilty for dating somebody my friend liked or…” Beverly sighed. “Pissed that one of my friends liked my boyfriend.”

Teenage Eddie suddenly thumbled with his drink, the solo cup dropped to the ground. Eddie stammered out some sort of apology to Bill then booked from the house. Beverly whipped around quickly, seeing now that she and Richie were finally kissing. 

“Well.” Richie cleared his throat. “You know what happens next here. Do you want to see what happened outside?”

“No.” Beverly meekly, but they were older outside.

Eddie gripped at a tree in the yard, heaving for a second before vomiting. He collapsed against the trunk, hugging himself to it, breaking into loud and messy sobs. Beverly pressed her hand over her mouth, wanting to look away but finding herself unable to do so. 

“Horrible.” Richie said, devote of any emotion. 

“We’re just gonna… stand here and watch him?” Beverly gasped. “Can we… help him? Richie!”

Richie smiled. “This was almost fifteen years ago, Beverly. You can’t jump in change anything. It’s already been done.”

“Then why are you showing me this?” Beverly cried. “Are you trying to make me feel guilty for dating you? Because Eddie liked you? Well, I don’t! I’m sorry he was hurting, but that’s my fault. I didn’t even know.”

“I didn’t know, either.” Richie said. “That’s not on us, Beverly, it’s not. Nobody blames you, not me, not Eddie. But this stuff you need to know. But you don’t understand.”

“What the fuck is this? A fucking Christmas carol?” Beverly snapped. 

“Yeah.” Richie laughed. “Just call me Ghost of Boyfriend Past.”

“As long as you’re the only one.” Beverly grumbled, turning away from Eddie’s sobbing form. “That’s pretty much all I can handle.”

Richie scoffed, with a sharp shake of his head. “Who else would it be? Ben? Big Bill? Boring.”

“Richie, I’m literally married and-” Beverly was cut off by Richie waving his hands in her face. She glowered at him, arms crossed angrily. 

Richie wrapped his hands around her wrist, with another shake of his head. “We don’t have time for all that.” He said. “There’s too much to do, too much to see.”

Beverly barely had time to react to anything before she found herself no longer standing outside Greta’s house, but sitting in the back bench seat of Richie’s shitty old beat up truck. They were sitting out by the old abandoned railroad tracks. Trains had long stopped coming out there, even since the boy had been killed out in Castle Rock, they’d been slowing the travel through smaller towns. 

This wasn’t just a regular hang out, smoke, maybe fool around like the usual “sitting in Richie’s truck at the railroad” and Beverly knew it immediately. Could feel the tension in the air. Could see how Richie was pressed right up against the truck window, sitting as far as away from Beverly as he could in the small space.

“Why are we here?” Beverly whispered, though she knew that their younger selves couldn’t hear her speaking. “I remember what happened. I was there.”

“You remember what you wanted to think happened.” Richie said back. “I told you. You don’t really know anything.”

“That’s rude.” Beverly snapped. She wondered if it was acceptable to punch a hallucination of a sixteen year old, or if it was still frowned upon morally. “I don’t know what this has to do with Eddie. He wasn’t even here.”

“This isn’t about Eddie.” Richie said. “None of this about one thing. It’s about you, about me, about Eddie… Bill. It’s about everything that happened that made your situation like this, Bev.”

Beverly felt her face burn. “You know about the stuff with Bill?” 

“Objectively, I know everything that has ever been and ever will be.” Richie said, stroking a long invisible beard. Beverly rolled her eyes. “But if you’re asking me if your Richie knew about you and Bill, then yes. I knew the whole time.”

Beverly looked down at her hands, but Richie pulled her chin back up to look at younger version of herself.

“I’m sorry,” young Richie was saying to her, hands tight around the steering wheel. He was staring out the windshield and Beverly remembered the feeling in her gut when Richie refused to look at her all too well. “I just… I’m confused. I have a lot of shit I need to figure out.”

“I don’t understand.” Young Beverly said, and she hated hearing the broken cracks in her voice. She wasn’t sure what kind of cosmic joke was forcing her to physically relive her first heart break, but she wanted to destroy it with her bare hands. “We were fine yesterday! Things were good, I thought-”

“I’m sorry.” Young Richie said again, eyes squeezed shut. “I can’t explain it right now, I don’t know how. I just need this to be over right now. I love you, Beverly, but I can’t do this.” 

Beverly could see her younger self pressing her hands to her mouth to keep from crying, and she thought she could feel what that Beverly was feeling. The swirling of her stomach and the clenching of her heart. The feeling of looking at the person she thought she was in love with, and seeing somebody she didn’t know. Couldn’t understand anymore. 

She watched herself grab at the handle of the truck and tumble off, taking off at a run into the night. Richie called after her weakly, once, then leaned over to close the truck door and crash his forehead against the steering wheel. 

Beverly and her Younger Richie were suddenly standing outside the truck, and she was watching herself run down the streets. On a reflex she started to run after herself, but Richie appeared in front of her and caught her once again. “That’s where we’re going next.”

“Why do you get to decide where we go?” Beverly cried. “You’re not real!”

“I’m as real as any of this.” Richie said roughly, though he let Beverly go and stepped back. He crossed his arms over his chest, and suddenly looked so young and so real that Beverly’s breath caught and her palms began to sweat. She’d lost her fucking mind, it was official. She couldn’t even control her own halluications. 

“Stop.” Richie rolled her eyes. “I’m not a dream, or a fucking hallucation.” 

Beverly blinked, and sighed heavily. “Then what the fuck are you? Because this… this doesn’t make any sense and I don’t want to be here!”

“Well, you can’t leave until you see everything.” Richie said, voice cold and detached. It didn’t even sound like the voice of a human anymore. “And you still don’t get it.”

“I get it, okay?” Beverly cried. “Richie was in love with Eddie the whole damn time, I was some sort of gay cover. Fuck him. What the fuck ever. Let me go back to-”

“To your subway bench?” Richie sneered. “If I wanted to show you how much Richie and Eddie love each other, I could do that.” 

Beverly thought she was maybe going to get whiplash as the world flashed around her while they stood in the same spot.

Eddie and Richie carrying boxes into a tiny apartment. Eddie and Richie sitting on swings in the Derry, snow in their hair. Eddie dropping down onto one knee at a tiny coffee shop. Them bringing boxes into the house they lived in now. Eddie picking up a small bundle of pink blankets in the hospital. Richie climbing in a crib to soothe a crying Frankie…

“Or I could show you the real truth.” Richie said simply, as the scenes began to change. 

Eddie walking out of Richie’s bedroom, hands pressed over his face while tears were still visible under them. Eddie and Richie standing in the middle of the road, rain pouring down on them, screaming at each other. Richie sitting in a dark living room, staring at nothing, while Eddie cried on his knees in front of him. Eddie holding Richie’s hand in a speeding ambulance, them hugging in a hospital room, packed suitcase on the bed behind them- 

They were standing in the hallway of Derry High School when Beverly’s head stopped spinning. They stood in front of their lockers, Beverly having a casual conversation with Bill and Eddie when Richie made his way down the hallway, carrying a cardboard box. He ignored his friends greetings as he yanked his locker open and started throwing his belongings into the box. 

“No.” Beverly said softly, mouthing curling up in disgust and stomach bubbling. “I don’t want to see this again. Richie, I don’t-”

“It doesn’t matter.” Richie said quietly, eyes stuck on the scene unfolding in front of them.

“What are you doing?” Eddie asked, and Beverly could hear the panic in his voice. She had been able to hear it back then, in the real moment, too. 

“Apparently I cheated on the SATs.” Richie said, not taking his face away from his locker. Not looking at anything he threw into the box. “They expelled me.”

Beverly’s stomach dropped to her feet, and she remembered feeling the exact same sensation in the moment as well.

“What?” She’d cried. “That’s such bullshit, Richie! You’re the best student in our year, why the fuck would you cheat on the SATs? You don’t need to.”

“You have to fight this.” Eddie said pleaded, and Beverly saw something in him this time. Something that she hadn’t noticed in real time. The way Eddie trembled when he reached for Richie, the way his entire face seemed to collapse when Richie jerked away from him. 

“You were together then.” Beverly said, not a question.

“Yeah.” Her Richie answered anyway. 

“They have a witness.” Then Richie said coldly. He closed the now empty locker and removed his lock. “Somebody said they saw me, or some shit. It’s over. It’s done.”

“Rich-Rich-eRichie.” Bill stammered, but Richie waved him off. 

“It’s fine.” Then Richie said. “I’ll see you guys around.” 

Eddie took off after him as Richie walked from the school, books and locker decorations all in a box. Beverly knew before it happened that they were going to outside standing with them. Richie had almost made it to Maggie’s waiting car, when Eddie caught up to him. 

“Richie, Richie, wait, please.” Eddie pleaded, only wheezing for a moment. Richie placed his little box into the back seat and turned around slightly. The open, vulnerable pain on his face was something Beverly had never seen before on the teen. “Please, we can still fight it, we can-”

“No, we can’t.” Richie cried, voice breaking. “I’m not graduating, I’m not going to UCLA or NYU or anywhere we applied. I can’t, they’ve made up their minds. It’s fucking over, Eddie.” 

Eddie jerked back as though Richie had slapped him, and the words rang in Beverly’s brain. Eddie’s shoulders hunched up higher towards his ears, and he swayed slightly on the spot. “What’s over, Richie?”

Richie glanced around at the amount of students wandering around the front of the school, students who were looking, students who could hear. He turned back to Eddie with a look that Beverly couldn’t really describe but could feel like a punch to the gut. 

Eddie stared after him with his mouth dropped open as Richie climbed into the front seat of his mother’s car and pulled out of the parking lot. 

“God.” Beverly breathed out and rubbed a hand over her face. “That’s so…” She shook her head. “What’s next you’re going to make me live through? What? What else do you need? You want me to feel bad for Eddie, I do! Okay, I do! What sort of terrible awful memories do you have lined up for me? Eddie’s dad dying, everytime Henry Bowers abused one of us?”

Another flash. A dark park, Richie on his back, Patrick Hockstetter on top of him. Stanley Uris behind them, baseball bat in the hand, swinging-

Beverly gagged, spinning around and clapping her hands over her mouth. The scene changed again, her standing in her own childhood bedroom. Mike Hanlon laying across the bed with her, Stan sitting straight backed in her desk seat.

“I cheated off Richie on the SATs,” Stan said in a empty voice, sounding perfectly rehearsed. Beverly remembered the chill that ripped through her body at Stan’s words, and her arms broken into goosebumps just hearing it again. “They called me into the office about it, and I… I told them he cheated off me. That I’d saw him, but I didn’t want to get him in trouble. 

Stan and Richie in diapers, bathtub running behind them while Maggie crouched down in front of them with a rubber duck in each hand. Richie standing and applauding at Stan’s bar mitzvah. Stan’s baseball colliding with the back of Patrick Hockstetter’s head and and knocking him away from a half conscious Richie. Richie wrapping a towel around bloodied wrists. 

“I don’t know why I did it.” Stan said slowly, Beverly and Mike both staring at him without blinking. “I just knew I couldn’t fail, that I needed to get a good grade and this test was right there and I just did it. I didn’t think we’d get caught, that Richie would never know what I did and then they confronted me and I panicked. I couldn’t get expelled, I couldn’t, so I just-” 

“You don’t have to explain it to us.” Mike interrupted, but Beverly remembered wanting to say things much, much worse to Stan in that moment. “The only person who can forgive you is Richie.”

The scene twisted once again, but Beverly and Richie were now in some sleazy looking New York Club. Beverly wiped at the tears that started to fall down her face. Richie rubbed at her arms. As she pulled her face back, trying to catch her breath, she caught sight of Richie stumbling out the front door into the dark NYC streets. She watched the guy in the leather jacket accept a bill from  his friends and followed after him. “God. What now.”

“Not out there.” Richie said somberly. “We’re not here for me. We’re here for you.”

Beverly turned around and let her eyes fully adjust to the ugly bar lighting, and she suddenly recognized it. Recognized herself, sitting alone at the bar. The man who had given the money to the friend who had followed after Richie noticed her and got up. Beverly realized who he was now. Tom.

“What did that guy do to you, Richie?” Beverly asked, feeling her heart begin to hammer in his chest.

“Not the point, Bev.” Richie said sadly. “This is your story, no matter how connected everything always is.”

Beverly shook her head, watching Tom putting on the charms for her. He didn’t seem nearly as attractive as Beverly remembered him being all those years ago. He just looked like another scumbag in a bar, and Beverly was disappointed in herself for going home with the loser that night. Never mind the path it lead her on.

“Did you ever like him at all?” Richie asked her.

“Did you ever like me at all?” Beverly shot back. Richie raised his brow at her and she sighed. “I thought I did. I wanted to.”

“Yeah.” Richie said, giving her a soft smile. “Me too.”

Beverly gave him a smile back. “I know that it wasn’t meant to be and Richie. I didn’t even think so when I threw that shit in Eddie’s face. It was some stupid defensive bullshit and I never meant those things to him for a second, I just didn’t know how to take them back or make anything better.”

Richie shrugged one shoulder, eyes still stuck on Beverly’s husband. “So, what are you going to do now? When you go back to the real life? You have a husband waiting for you, a nice round of apologies to make…”

“I don’t know.” Beverly breathed out. “I could go back to Tom, I should. I need a place to live and we’re married and he loves me. I thought I loved him once, I could do it again. What other options do I have, really?”

 Standing outside Derry Middle School, a completely unsigned yearbook in her hands. Ben slipped a A Derry postcard with a poem into her book bag. A slow dance in the school gym at senior prom. Drinking in a Derry hotel room. Kissing in front of beautiful, empty houses. 

“Okay.” Beverly rolled her eyes. “That one was a little unnecessary.” 

“Was it?” Richie challenged with a grin. Beverly opened her mouth to respond, but suddenly found herself opening her eyes on a subway bench. She sat up, and pulled the sweater tighter around her. She found suddenly that it didn’t smell like Richie anymore. 

She took her time walking through the streets of NYC before reaching her designation. She buzzed into the building.

“Hello?” The groggy voice on the outside side answered.

“Hey, it’s me.” She said through a voice crack. “Can I come up?”

[weartirondad]

Never Said He Was My Son (Never Said He Wasn’t)

Summary: Peter calls Tony dad. It's cool, really, just unexpected for the bunch of superheroes currently standing in their kitchen.

@theoceanismyinkwell this is how you do fluff, asshat. (hint: no one’s dying.)

FF.net I ao3

It had started as a joke, really. 

With an eye roll and an exasperated sigh he had channeled what Mr. Stark called his inner teenager and had shot out a quick “Sure, daad,” dragging out the tiny syllable half in annoyance, half in glee at the older man’s flabbergasted expression.

A, “Peter Parker, I swear to god you are going to be grounded for at least a year”, had been the reply and that had been that. 

Ever since then, whenever the billionaire couldn’t suppress his overbearing helicopter parent tendency (not that he ever really tried too hard to begin with), Peter would call him out on it, mostly with a grin, sometimes with an angry huff and crossed arms in front of his chest, sulking like only a pubescent teen could.. 

Sometimes he’d use it to his advantage when he really wanted something because he had long since learned that a whiny ‘dad’ coupled with his patented puppy eyes would get him almost anything he could wish for. 

It had grown on both of them, had become a comfortable part of their daily routine that they didn’t want to miss. 

But now, now all of the freshly pardoned Avengers were staring at him with varying degrees of shock seemingly etched on their faces and the last letter died on his tongue with a small, “Oh.” 

He’d just called Tony ‘dad’ in front of literally all of Earth’s mightiest heroes.

The man himself simply walked up to him, greeting him with the usual hair ruffle and, “Hey kid, I’ve got your snacks in the fridge. Grab those and one of your old shirts from your room and we can get started on that project of yours.” 

The normalcy of it had him forgetting their guests for a second. Instead he turned to the fridge with rediscovered hunger, muttering a half-hearted, “I told you I don’t really need help with that, Mr. Stark. It’s just for my chemistry class.” 

Before Tony could reply, Steve Rogers spoke up. Captain freaking America looked him up and down, squinting slightly before giving a quick nod with his head and extending his hand to Peter.

 “I’m Steve. I didn’t know Tony had a kid.” 

That last part was directed at the man (dad?) in question who had come up behind Peter, clapping his shoulders encouragingly while the teenager spluttered out a, “H- hi, I’m Peter. I’m uh-“

“Busy finishing a very important chemistry project”, Tony supplied for him and he was both grateful because he really didn’t know what he was supposed to introduce himself as (I’m an intern? Spiderman? Not his kid but still call him dad but don’t worry, it’s Our Thing?) and embarrassed. Why did he have to bring up his homework in front of a bunch of superheroes? They would most definitely laugh about him behind his back. 

“Up you go”, Tony continued, ignoring Peter’s inner turmoil, and pulled him from his thoughts, pushing him towards the door lightly, “Inhale that sandwich, get a shirt and your notes from your room and meet me in the lab in like ten minutes.” 

Despite his nervousness, or maybe because of it, he did as he was told with only a muttered, “So bossy”, that of course Tony picked up on. 

“You wanna say something, squirt?”, the older man wanted to know, eyebrows raised and his voice colored with just a faint-barely-there tad amusement. 

“Nope”, he grinned up innocently, popping the ‘p’ and then, because the rest of the Avengers still stood in their kitchen without moving a muscle, he added a, “Be nice to our guests, dad”, before bolting for the door and running up to his room. 

 Boy, oh boy, was his heart thumping along in his chest along wildly right now. It felt like the organ, though not bigger than the size of his fist, wanted to break out of his rib cage and jump right back down to the kitchen to tango on the counter. 

What the hell had just happened? 

As he tried to calm his nerves and scarfed down the sandwich, he couldn’t help but tell F.R.I.D.A.Y. to lift the usual soundproofing of his room enough so he could listen in on the conversation happening downstairs. 

-

“So”, Tony’s voice broke through the thick layer of nothing that had descended on the room after Peter had left, “Looks like it slipped my mind to tell you that I have custody on Tuesdays, Thursdays and every other weekend. Try not to be too loud on school nights, although his room’s on my floor so you shouldn’t even get that close to start anything and it’s also soundproof if he wants it to be.

Kid’s got access to all parts of the Tower and be aware that he uses it plenty. Don’t mess up the order of the Star Wars movies on the shelf, don’t eat all the Lucky Charms without letting F.R.I.D.A.Y. know so she can stock up on them and uh-“, he picked up his - by now cold - cup of coffee from the counter and took a sip, trying to wreck his mind for something he might’ve missed,.

“Oh and don’t give him any ideas”, his eyes rested on Clint for a moment, “he’s a very impressionable kid and I’ll know who to ask when he comes up with even crazier ideas than usual. Your rooms are still where you last saw them, didn’t change a thing. That should be about it. Any questions? I’ve got a lab date in 8 minutes and about 20 seconds.” 

In the silence that followed, Tony watched the people around him stare at him and he had to force his expression to stay relatively neutral because, really, he was enjoying this way too much. 

It had been a while since he had rendered the whole squad speechless and he never would’ve guessed that a kid would have had anything to do with it. His kid no less.

Clint broke through the silence first, “You mean apart from the ‘What the fuck, Stark, you have a kid?’-stuff”, he looked down at his fingernails as if he was actually contemplating his next words before giving a nonchalant shrug and moved past Tony to get himself a cup of coffee, “Nope. No questions.” 

Now he did grin at the super spy as they clinked glasses. 

“Great. Dinner’s around 8”, he told them with his last sip of coffee when the rest of them still didn’t seem to have much more to say, “Usually we cook but I don’t really feel like feeding a super soldier and a growing teenager with my hard work so we’ll order in. Leave your pizza choices with F.R.I.D.A.Y.” 

With that he turned and sauntered out of the room gracefully. He only succumbed to his growing laughter when he had already reached his lab and heard the door fall close behind him. His eyes met the teenager who was already curled up on his couch trying to look as inconspicuously as possible and failing miserably at it. 

“You listened in, didn’t you?”, Tony grinned at him widely when he stuck his tongue and shrugged with a very convincing, “Maybe.” 

“Can you hear them right now?”, the billionaire asked, plopping down next to his kid, still breathing heavily but back in control of his body. 

Peter cocked his head to one side, closing his eyes in concentration before cracking a grin, “They’re currently taking bets on whether or not I’m biologically your son.” 

They locked eyes after that, both letting that sink in before bursting out into laughter again.

“Oh, it’s on”, Tony gasped in between laughs, “The Avengers won’t even know what hit them now that they’ve got two Starks coming after them.” 

[baconpal]

talkin bout fire force

shit boys it’s been too long time for another unprompted juvenile rant about manga, click keep reading if you’re insane and keep scrolling if you aren’t 

So Fire Force anime starts in just about a week and I decided to just read it all instead of waiting for any anime. It took a while to read all of it and now I just kind of have a lot to say about the manga, the anime, and the author. So here we go. 

I actually have a lot of good things to talk about, but I’ll get the bad shit out of the way first:

THE WRITING

idk his name it doesn’t really matter since he’s made like 2 things he’s just the soul eater guy; his art style has always been charming and the action scenes keep improving but his actual narrative writing is real bad. I’ll talk about the characters themselves since I actually think FF’s characters are a ridiculous improvement from soul eater, and the setting/aesthetic are on point as well but the plot is just as bad if not worse than whatever soul eater was.

The story is riddled with what should obviously be throwaway characters that keep being brought back and doing something evil and unexpected because it’s a shounen manga and if you aren’t being betrayed then the plot isn’t moving forward, or someone introduced as an obviously villainous character just kind of agrees to be friends in a couple chapters. This is used as a constant cycle of introducing both a set of “evil” and “good” characters, then one of the old “good” sets of characters does something evil and the newest “evil” guys turn out to be good. It’s not interesting or shocking to have a character you can’t even remember come back and act like they’re important, especially if it’s repeated over and over.

FF pretends to have some kind of politic overtones where religions and businesses and such act as their own entities and betray each other and prey on the civilians, but you see absolutely none of the impact anybody’s actions have on the world despite ridiculous things constantly happening and world shaking truths being brought to light over and over, nothing happens. Villains will also  have ridiculous unbeatable abilities but then just be ignored, such as making zombie apocalypses or controlling minds and such. This is also likely a concession of being a shounen manga, where you can’t expect readers to read every single chapter, and usually on a week to week basis, so every chapter needs to have its own big shit happening, even if there’s no plans to follow through on anything. 

The worst part about the writing is how much stuff that the reader didn’t know about and has no idea what it is is passed of as some shocking twist when it’s introduced. This mostly happens with powers and with new factions. There’s a ridiculous amount of times where a new group steps in as the bad guy like mentioned earlier. But for the powers, there’s so many things layered on top of an actually acceptable power system that just seem to cause a DBZ type of escalation of power without the fight scenes actually becoming that much crazier at all. On top of the simple 2nd/3rd generation fire fighter powers, the main character is meant to utilize the adolla burst, the adolla link, the preacher’s divine protection, the okay hand emoji that makes you go fast, the breath of life, and superfire fighting. None of that means anything to anyone and are just used as “MC needs to be better at something but only temporarily” over and over. It’s similar to Maka and Soul’s deals with the devil in soul eater except much more common and with absolutely no downsides.

Also not the fault of the writer himself but there is not ANY good translation of this manga out there holy shit. There’s so many incredibly obvious puns and connections and choices of words to be made that are just entirely ignored, the typesetting is always awful, and no name for moves, characters, or even the title are ever agreed upon. It took until the official release titled “Fire Force” before people stopped trying to call the manga “Burning Firefighter Squad of Fire”.

THE ANIME

Just a bit more bad to say before I go into all the shit about this manga i actually like. The anime looks awful. A lot of anime does right now, very little of note has been coming out or seems to be coming in the future, which is usually the case but its not getting better and that sucks! 

But specifically the fire force anime, following up after soul eater, has absolutely none of the visual charm translated from the manga to anime, the voice casting is absolutely abysmal, and there’s nothing to give me hope in it, not enough to even give it an episode most likely. People might try to defend David productions because woah man I love jojo!!! but they’re pretty fucking bad at animating anything. The choice of color is gross and the visual effects are bland, which is a bad place to start for a show that will contain tons of fire and other bombastic effects. Big shame.

OKAY ONTO THAT GOOD SHIT

CHARACTER DESIGN

The visual designs in soul eater were cool if a bit janky, and the actual concepts for characters were far from astounding, usually being able to fully describe characters in single words and not having much development outside of combat abilities. But Fire Force has some of the most tight characters I’ve seen in a while, they’re all simple and focused with strong thematic elements.

Ya’ll know me, hopefully. I really appreciate simple designs and simple characters. Complicated does not equal deep, and simple does not equal shallow. The characters in fire force will usually embody a concept, or a concept and its exact opposite, and be never waver from their design. I’ll talk about em for specific characters when I get to em but even lots of minor characters are very well focused and I appreciate it.

SHINRA

The main character, and while his grocery list of special abilities and “chosen one” kinda shit is annoying, he starts of as a very strong introspective of the weight of your actions vs the impression you give of in the eyes of society. The easiest way to describe it is through the very obvious identity struggle he goes through of wanting to be known as a “Hero” but instead being “The Devil”. All Shinra ever does is selflessly save peoples lives and put himself at extreme risk, he tells everyone and their grandma that they can call on him when they need a hero, and yet his visuals consist of a dark haired punk who constantly smiles a sharp toothy smile, his ability that he uses to fly in and do kamen rider kicks with spews fire from his feet in the shape of pointy wings, and this fire puts a heavy shadow over his face, giving him a monsterous siloutte. It’s not at all subtle that he just looks as evil and menacing as possible, and so his reputation is constantly negative no matter how kind he is. It’s not explored all that deeply but it is still a strong contrast.

ARTHUR

What a fucking idiot. What an absolute buffoon. This stupid fuck functions as a very simple gag character by being nearly too dumb to function and living in a made up reality as a fantasy knight, but is also able to exist as one of the strongest characters in combat. His ridiculous power is handled in a much more engaging way than Shinra’s. As instead of layering multiple chosen one abilities on him, he becomes weaker or stronger depending on his suspension of disbelief. The more in character as a powerful knight he becomes, the stronger he is. It’s a clean way to make a funny delusional characters struggle actually mean something to the people around them, instead of being left to his own devices or constantly told to fuck off. And while I said the plot isn’t very good, the smaller character beats can be very powerful. For example, It was already pretty easy to just accept Arthur as he was, but his family situation is explored late into the manga, and it’s shown that he began to live in fantasy to escape from his families arguments and poor living conditions. His parents take advantage of his disconnect and abandon their home with him in it, leaving all their responsibilities to him with a note saying he’s now the king and has inherited their castle. This pushes him to an even more absurd degree of fantasy in order to just live out his life knowing he was unloved and unwanted. It very understated how you can make a character that’s mostly used for jokes still be very easy to connect to and empathize. 

TAMAKI 

This one is likely to be the hottest take made from me here today, but this is the most interesting character in this series for a variety of reasons. 

Visuals out of the way, the fire fighter outfits everyone wears already look cool as shit and big puffy coats just get me goin, this girl absolutely rocks it on top of having twintails and a cute face. That’s not objective in anyway this is just a character designed to bait specifically me and its fucking working, okay? The writing is the actually interesting part.

So something that’s usually not even worth talking about is fan service. Show of a girls titties cus its what dudes in their teens want to see, its free (You)s for shounen manga, and soul eater was full of it. It was pretty bad in soul eater and could come at jarring and unneeded times for characters that didn’t seem to exist for any sexual reasons. It was a very poor way to include fan service. 

Fire Force also begins in a similar spot, the 3 main girls that are around in the beginning chapters are occasionally seen changing or in a bath or covered in water or whatever, with one particularly bad spread of them with the classic no nipple no vagina bodies all standing together in a shower. Its awkward and stiff and even as a fan of anime tiddie it just wasn’t worth having. 

But then that wildman just does it. He creates one single character to put literally every single ounce of horny energy in to. A character who exists to fall over and get her tits pushed into someones face, but pushed to a cartoonish extreme. It sounds silly to try to pass off fanservice as funny, but it is. It’s so ridiculously intended and impossible and always varied that its actually fun to see her do something stupid and for something to happen. Sometimes its just her ass landing on a dudes face (god i wish that were me) or her body being exposed and drawn in pretty high detail. Sometimes instead they get an entire dude stuck in her shirt after just tripping in a way that is not not being sexual to the reader at all since you see absolutely no skin. She’s simply destined to be put into lewd situations in universe, not in regards to the manga itself. For an example, here she is just standing completely still, and suddenly becoming naked, drawn in a distant, goofy way: 

It’s stupid. It’s definitely still fan service, but it’s just ridiculous. And that’s way more interesting than having every girl in your series randomly get naked at some point. Despite being insane it still works on boys, as Tamaki is the most popular girl in the series by far, ranked as the second most popular character consistently. 

Tamaki also leads to the single best chapter of the manga where a horribly designed throw-away assassin who was beaten by her returns for revenge, but just ends up as a short, self contained, well paced comedic story of love. 

And guess what, she’s still interesting outside of being funny and having fan service. Her cartoonish luck is essentially treated as her actual power, and her fire cat abilities aren’t explored too deeply during most of the series, but this is done for a greater purpose of essentially spitting in the face of high stakes. Tamaki easily witnesses the most deaths in the series, and most of them are cruel and unusual. She witnesses children being killed by a man who inspired her, she sees people she just met be beheaded in some gruesome shots that aren’t anywhere else in the series, and she gets involved in all sorts of life threatening situations. She still just falls over and gets naked. She’ll have fairly serious fights where she tries her hardest or the people around her are completely serious, and without bringing any direct attention to it she still ends up showing skin. There’s a point where every single character is at risk of dying at once to a trap set by the enemy, and Tamaki quietly laments over how she’ll be the only one to survive. She is completely aware of her ridiculous luck and her complete immunity to stakes, which is honestly just great.

Even beyond that, Tamaki is slowly being built up as more and more of an actual character, she has a short backstory section where her own hard work and effort is basically ignored by everyone around her, as if her success in life is only a result of her good luck, which is a feeling that hits very close to home to me (fuck you if you’ve ever discredited someones hard work because they’re “””””talented””””). And in the most recent couple of chapters, shes made an active effort to train alongside Shinra and Arthur, who both value the improvements they can make to themselves through hard work. No other characters in the cast make conscious efforts to improve from their status in the way Tamaki does. She moves up from a joke character to now trying to stand along side the main character as a useful and though out character. It’s a genuinely wonderful character to have been developed and the best thing I’ve gotten from this author.

VISUALS AND COMPOSITION

Okay enough about the characters, the last little thing I wanna touch on is just some of the absolutely bonkers kinds of compositions in this manga. One of the villains has an ability that is explained incredibly poorly. Pretty sure it’s just a time slowing ability that has nothing to do with fire but whatever. The pages where he uses the ability have this absolutely sick warped look to them that plays with the panels in a way that couldn’t be depicted in any other medium. Just look at this shit.

Every panel has a different background and yet still describes a single cut in time. It might not really mean anything, but that’s fucking sick dude.

Another pretty interesting one is this one kid named Nataku, who has an ability forced onto him by a maniac with a motif of stars for eyes, who dies immediately after. This event is shown to have absolutely traumatized him not because its directly said, but because this dead character appears constantly in panels with this kid, sometimes taking up the entire background to yell at him, or being an almost impossible to see spec lingering behind him. Nataku is also drawn in this strange sketchy style where he seems to be melting, and sometimes melds into shapes that resemble this dead character, such Nataku’s mouth becoming the fucking eyeball of the dead guy, star pupil and everything. It’s just such a specific and horrific way to depict that kind of identity trauma and it really stuck out to me.

I’LL SHUT UP NOW

And ye that’s about it. It was a lot of rambling and there are still lots of little things i like about the manga, good designs and cool fights and stuff but i just wanted to talk about the things that were really noteworthy to me. 

It’s been a long time since I’ve spent 4 hours just typing about stuff but if you actually read any of this, on this dead website of all places, you’re cool. Hope you found something interesting too.

[angels17324]

The Violet Paladin (Keith x Reader) Ch 1

Summary: (Y/n) was just a normal girl with a normal life. She’s always been a dreamer looking to the stars and the future. When one fateful night changes her whole life what secrets lie beyond in the unknown?

[masterlist]

Word Count: 2447

It was just a normal day of classes at the garrison. I was standing in the back watching my best friend Katie and her teammates fly, unsuccessfully I might add... the simulator, which had resulted in a failure. I watched as Commander Iverson slammed open the pod door and yelled at the trio to get out. He used them as an example of a bad team. 

Comparing them to my own team I think they're better than us. I'm on the team of Ina and Jacob, I hardly knew either of them before getting teamed up and even still I don't know much other than the basics like their flying and comm skills. I'm the team's engineer, I hope after I graduate I'll be able to help build new ships with my idea's.

I had been so zoned out in my thought's that I hadn't realized it was finally my teams turn in the simulator. Unlike with Katie's team, we hadn't crashed or anything so the rest of the class was as uneventful as usual. Thinking about it, it wasn't always like this. It used to be kind of fun, though I never really got to see it being in the engineer's class I had always heard of these two boys, I only learned the name of one, which was Keith because we were in a class together but he got kicked out not long ago.

He used to be one of the perfect models for when I was drawing, having this look about him that made it seem like he was never really here. I probably have more drawings of him than I'm willing to admit but I could help it. I grabbed my backpack with my drawing pad, pencils, and some snacks to go meet Katie on the roof. It had become a nightly routine for us, ever since she sneaked in after her father and brother went missing. I would spend the time sitting next to her either sketching the sky or when I listened to her machine I'd try to sketch what I imagined the voices to look like.

Tonight wasn't going to be any different, I walked onto the roof seeing I was alone I plopped down dangling my feet over the edge and grabbed my sketch pad and a pencil. I began drawing as I heard footsteps behind me and a heavy backpack sat next to me.

I looked over to see Katie. She quickly set up her machine and plugged in the headphone to listen.

"I hope we find out what Voltron is." She said with her eyes closed. "Me too, If it's as dangerous as I think it is, I hope those people we hear never find it," I told her. I went back to sketching the stars again but was soon after interrupted.

"You know it's not polite to ignore your girlfriend." I heard the familiar voice speak from behind. I turned to see none other than Lance and Hunk. "Oh, Lance, Hunk..." It seemed like it took her a moment to register what he had said, "For the last time we're not dating!"

"We're just looking at the stars," I told the Cuban teen. He'd looked pasted Pidge and me to see her tech.

"Man where'd you get that stuff it doesn't look like garrison tech at all," Lance remarked.

"I built it," Pidge smirked.

"You built all this?" Hunk slowly approached her gear to touch it but was slapped away.

"With this puppy, I can scan all the way to the edge of our solar system," She proudly started.

"All the way to Kerberos?" Lance retorted, Pidge immediately shrunk at the mention of that. "You go ballistic anytime a teacher mentions it!" I turned to Lance, "There are just things you don't understand," I took the liberty to slap Hunk's hand away for the second time.

"Well Pidge, if we're gonna bond as a real team we can't have any secrets and it seems like you're most comfortable with (Y/n) so we can bring her along too," Lance gave me one of his looks like he was trying to flirt with me, I had only known the looks cause I've seen him use them on other girls in the garrison. "Fine..." Pidge sighed. "The world as you know it is about to change," She had a sad look in her eye.

"The Kerberos mission wasn't lost because of pilot error or otherwise-"

"STOP TOUCHING MY EQUIPMENT!" Pidge shouted angrily at Hunk. You took note of this to keep an extra close eye on your sketch pad. "Anyways," She said after calming down, "I've been scanning the system and picking up alien radio chatter," She turned to look at Lance.

"Woah! Wait, Alien?!" Hunk panicked.

"Okay, so you're both insane," Lance crossed his arms and glared at us. "We're serious," I matched his glare.

"They've just been repeating one thing, and that's Voltron, and from what I've heard tonight it's been going crazier than ever," Pidge informed them.

"How crazy?" Lance questioned. We were interrupted by Iverson over the P.A. system

"What's going on?" Hunk looked around. "Is that a meteorite?" He pointed out something in the sky.

"Can't be," I mumbled.

"It's a ship!" Pidge announced.

"Holy cow! I can't believe what I am seeing! It's not one of ours,"

"That's because it's one of theirs," I almost wanted to smirk.

"So wait there really are aliens out there?" Hunk began to freak out yet again. Pidge and I immediately packed up and started to leave.

"I've gotta see that ship!" She cheered.

"Hunk come on!" Lance called following us.

The four of you sat on rocks near the base they set up but far enough away that we wouldn't be caught. I watched as Pidge hacked their systems to get a look inside. We watched Shiro on the feed surrounded by men in hazard suits. We had all perked up at the mention of Voltron from Shiro.

"We need to get down there and save him," I said.

"Hate to be the bearer of bad news but weren't we watching on this because there's no way to get down there past those guards?" Hunk pleaded.

"That was before we were properly motivated. Now we just gotta think. Could we tunnel in?" Lance was talking to himself. We all bounced ideas of how to get in (Or to go back to the dorms in Hunk's case), before agreeing on needing a distraction. That's when you heard explosions in the distance.

"Like that!" Lance shouted. Hunk began to freak out thinking it was aliens.

"No, that was a distraction," You commented.

"Yeah, for him," Pidge pointed out someone approaching from opposite of where the garrison had left.

"Oh no way, that guy is always trying to one-up me!" Lance shouted looking through the binoculars.

"Who?" Hunk asked as Lance jumped down.

"Keith!" Lance shouted as Hunk followed him down.

"Who's Keith?" Pidge asked, then turned to me since I was the only one with her still.

"He got kicked out," I told her as we followed the boys. When we made it down everyone but Lance (who ran in) stayed by the entrance and watched the exchange between him and Keith.

Pidge, Hunk and I all kept watching for a minute while Lance and Keith carried Shiro back to Keith's hoverbike.

"Is this thing going to be big enough for all of us?" Pidge asked.

"No," Keith replied. Lance handed Shiro over to Pidge and I as he sat on the wing. Keith quickly took off with the Garrison not far behind us. I helped Pidge keep Shiro on the bike as Keith was telling Hunk what to do to get the officers off our trail. So far it was successful except for one very persistent pursuer.

"Guys it that a cliff up ahead?" Hunk asked.

"Yup." Keith almost playfully said as he speeds up with us all screaming no.

"You're gonna get us all killed!" Lance shouted.

"Just trust me!" Keith said. How we survived that I may never know but we did.

Keith drove to a small shack in the middle of nowhere and parked, by this time it was almost morning and Shiro had woken up.

Everyone except Keith and Shiro was inside just kind of talking. "You realize how much trouble we will be in when we go back right?" I asked. We all remained silent for a moment that's when Keith and Shiro walked in.

Keith walked over to a board covered by a white sheet and ripped it off to reveal a bunch of pictures and diagrams.

"What is this?" Shiro asked.

"I don't really know, I've been working on it basically since I was booted from the Garrison, like some energy out here was telling me to search,"

"For what exactly?" I slightly zoned out from the conversation as I looked at the picture of the lion carvings. I only started paying attention again when I saw Shiro had turned to us.

"I guess I should thank you all, Lance right?" He shook Lance's hand. Then turned to Pidge, Hunk and I.

"(Y/n)," I shook his hand as well.

"The nervous guy is Hunk I'm Pidge," She introduced herself. "So did anyone else from your crew make it out?"

"I'm not sure. The last things I remember are the mission and when we got captured, other than that it's just bits and pieces,"

"Yeah sorry to interrupt but back to the aliens. Where exactly are they now?" Hunk began to panic yet again.

"I can't really put it together, I just remember "Voltron", Its some weapon they're searching for, but I think we need to find it before they do,"

"Well, last night I was rummaging through Pidge's stuff," As soon as I heard that come from Hunk's mouth I clutched mine tighter. "I found this picture, look it's his girlfriend," He chuckled a bit.

"Hey, give me that! Why were you in my stuff?" She asked him.

"I was looking for snacks."

"Did you go through mine?" I asked.

"No," He replied "Anyway's I found these series of number that looks like a Fraunhofer Line,"

"A what?" Keith asked.

"It's a number that describes the emission spectrum of an element, that is not found on earth, So it might be this Voltron and I can probably build a machine to look for it," Hunk quickly explained. "The wavelength looks like this," He pulled out a paper which Keith took and held to his board and it matched up with a series of rock formations.

After Hunk built his machine the six of us traveled out there and followed Hunk and Pidge to a cave with more drawings of the lions. I looked at each one, they were all fascinating. When they started to glow, I backed up a bit when the floor crumbled. We all screamed as we were on almost like a water slide and landed in a little pool of water at the bottom.

"Ow," I mumbled and looked up to see a lion.

"Is this it?" Pidge asked.

"It must be," Shiro said.

"This has got to be what's been causing all this crazy energy out here," Keith walked towards it.

"There's a force field around it." I said, "And probably for a good reason." I mumbled the last part, everyone had already started walking towards it I sighed and followed. Keith put his hands on the force field.

"I wonder how we get through?" He asked no one.

"Maybe we just have to knock?" Lance knocked and the Lion roared to life it seemed like we all had the same vision of six lions forming one giant mecha.

"Whoa," We all said.

"This is only one part of Voltron," Shiro said.

"I wonder where the rest are?" Pidge questioned. The lion lowered down and opened its mouth.

"Hey we probably shouldn't," I started but Lance already ran inside. "Touch anything..." as everyone else walked up.

"Come on (y/n)," Pidge said, I walked up behind her and into the head. The controls all powered on and were in a language we couldn't understand. I stood in the back between Keith and Shiro.

"Okay, guys, I feel like I need to point out just so we're all aware, we're in some kind of futuristic alien cat head right now," Hunk said.

"Whoa did you guys just hear that?"

"What?" Keith asked.

"I think it's talking to me," Lance turned to look at the controls.

"Wait Lance don't touch anything," I said but too late he already started to push buttons.

"Don't worry I've got this," He said and blasted out of the cave and started flying crazily. I grabbed the nearest thing, which happened to be Keith who was also holding onto something for dear life.

"You are the worst pilot ever!" Keith yelled.

"This is awesome!" Lance cheered.

"Make it stop!" Hunk pleaded.

"I'm not making it do anything,"

"Where are you going?" Keith asked as we took off towards space.

"I just said I'm not doing anything, it says there is an alien ship approaching Earth I think we're supposed to stop it," Lance said.

"What did it say exactly?" Pidge asked.

"It's not saying words just idea's... Kinda,"

"If that's them and this is what they're coming for maybe we should just give it to them," Hunk said.

"You don't understand, these monsters spread like a plague through the galaxy, giving them this won't stop them," We all glared at Hunk who shrunk back. As we turned back, we were face to face with a large Alien cruiser which began firing at us.

Lance avoided the blasts. "Okay, I think I know what to do,"

"Be careful man this isn't the simulator!" Pidge warned.

"Oh, good, cause I always crash those," Lance said. That didn't make any of us feel any better but Lance shot a beam from the lion and attacked it before flying us away from the planet and towards deep space. We passed Kerberos and we were all in shock, and a wormhole had opened in the distance. "Where does it go?" Pidge asked.

"I don't know, Shiro, you're the senior officer, what should we do?" We all turned to Shiro.

"I don't know what's happening but the lion seems to know more than we do, so, for now, we should trust it. However we're a team now, so we decide together," We were all silent but it seemed like we agreed to go through the wormhole was the best option.

[Next] Tag list~

@somebodytouchedmysaeran @ittie-bittie-tittie 

[theimaginesyouneveraskedfor]

Not Him (10) - Bucky Ending

Alright, so I didn’t want to jump the shark and I really felt that this story doesn’t need a million parts, just an ending so here is Bucky’s. Hope you all enjoy as I work on Loki’s. Thank you so much. Leave a like or comment and I’ll see you in the next one.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

Your night was restless. You had grown so used to Bucky’s presence that sleeping without him was near impossible. You tossed and turned, thinking of what to say to him. What to say to Loki. There was no way around it, this web had tangled all three of you and you couldn’t leave anything unsaid. You needed to sort it all out before you could go on. Living in this tower with them would make the situation entirely unbearable. Hell, it had led to this.

When you woke that morning, you felt a sense of urgency. You had so much to say, all those thoughts which had been contending for those last months. Trying to wade through the confusion of being caught between two men. Both as enigmatic and surprising as the other. It was time to let a lot of stuff go and move on for what was was ahead of you.

You spent the first half of the day in the lab, tempering the flurry of emotions and rush of thoughts which consumed you. You were still reading over Stark’s plans and trying to see it in front of you. For once, your co-workers were there, bickering over some gadget or the other. Banner was unimpressed with Stark who was using his laser beam to heat up the pizza pocket he’d microwaved and forgotten about. You merely shook your head and tried to digest Stark’s scribbles.

“So, I heard you had quite the night,” Stark shrugged off Banner’s ranting, turning to his new victim. “Looked even crazier.”

He propped his phone up in front of you, the security footage from the hallway replaying Loki and Bucky in their duel, crashing from one wall to the other until they were bound up in each other on the floor. You covered your face as you came back onto the screen, Thor and Steve at your shoulder. God dammit. “I knew you and the super soldier were going along like lovesick teens but I had no idea Shakespeare was playing third wheel.”

“It’s really not what you think,” You groaned through your fingers, “Really, it’s...nothing.”

“Doesn’t seem like nothing,” Banner chimed in, “I mean, I have the other guy and sometimes he gets the best of me but I don’t think it’s ever gotten like, uh, that.”

You shook your head at them. These two middle-aged men were poking into your business like a pair of dads. You didn’t have time for this. In fact, you had been trying to ignore it all until you had finished memorizing these damned diagrams. “Look, I’ve got work to do.”

“By all means, give it a break,” Tony leaned across the desk, bend back the folder in your hands, “If you have more pressing matters to attend to. Anything that would save me any further interior damages, I’d be grateful.”

You sighed and lowered the booklet slowly, pushing it across the table. “If it means I can leave early then sure.”

“Go on,” Bruce said, “You’ve been working too hard as it is. Besides, I ran into Bucky this morning, he didn’t seem very happy. Well, he seemed more brooding than usual.”

“Right,” You slid off your stool as you packed up your station. You avoided another glance at the pair of intrusive scientists and dragged your feet out of the lab.

The halls were eerily silent as you walked along, tracing your fingers along the walls as you drew the path to your first destination. You stood staring at Loki’s door for a moment, knuckles hovering before it and finally made yourself knock. Your toe tapped as you waited but no answer came. You nodded and turned to continue down the hallway; you could always come back. Or maybe he wanted nothing else to do with you.

The door opened before you could go further, Loki slowly revealed himself from the other side. A meek smile on his lips as he looked expectantly at you. “Can we talk?” You asked in a brittle voice.

“Of course,” He exhaled as if in relief, “Come in, um, if you please,” He let the door fall full open and stepped back.

You entered cautiously, looking around at the cluttered but neat chamber. An armchair sat beside a wall of books, his bed was perfectly pressed, and the green curtains matched the shade of his duvet. There was a desk too, covered in stacks of books and an old-fashioned quill above a notepad. Just as you imagined it, really.

“You can sit if you like,” He offered up the leather armchair but you stayed by the door, “Or stand, is fine too.”

“Thanks, I--” You rubbed your neck, trying to formulate those thoughts which had run rampant through your mind for hours now. “Look, I know things between us have been rough and… confusing.”

“I really am sorry,” He frowned, “I don’t know why I did it. I knew it was wrong but I did it anyway... because I wanted to be near you.”

“I realize now that I misunderstood your intentions. It doesn’t make what you did right but I at least should have heard you out.” You clasped your hands together, “Maybe if I had listened and this had gone a different way, things might have turned out better. Maybe…” You chewed your lip, “I’m sorry I was so stubborn but we can’t go back now,” You tried to smile at him though you knew what you would say would hurt him, “But I was hoping that going forward we could be friends.”

“Friends?” He looked as if he had been slapped. The colour drained from his face and his lips turned downward, his forehead creased with disappointment. “I suppose, I...Yes, I would like that.”

You stared at each other silently, the accord floating in the air. You tried to smile and he did the same. You felt the weight lift from your chest and he slowly offered his hand. “Friends?”

“Friends,” You took his hand and shook it, “I truly hope you find the love you deserve, Loki.”

He gripped your hand, his lip quivering. “Thank you.” He reluctantly let you go, “I hope he loves you as much as you should be loved.”

With that, you left him. You could see the pain in his expression but you could sense that he had meant what he said. That moment of vulnerability said more than any apology he could have offered. You had broken his heart but he had faced you with graciousness. Perhaps, it could have been different in another lifetime.

You found Bucky in the training room. He was alone, his fists pummeling the thick padding of a dummy. His breath intermingled with grunts; you suspected this was more than just a drill. He was upset. You watched him, his muscles straining as he didn’t let up. His dark hair straying from its tie. He finally relented, his chest heaving as he turned and rolled his wrists. He blanched as he saw you, his face marred with a sudden flash of guilt.

“Hey,” He said softly as he approached you, “Y/N…” You gave a small smile and neared him, reaching out to take his hand. “I’m sorry for last night, I--”

“Please, I don’t want any more apologies. I just want...I…” You stared up at him, his shining blue eyes the very same you had fallen in love with; the same you had mooned over in your lap and avoided shyly as he sat across from you. His anger hadn’t been sinister but righteous. He had merely lost himself in his emotions, acted on your behalf. You were frightened by that side of him but you trusted him enough to know that it wasn’t really him. “Can we go back? To before all of this mess?”

“I should be asking you that,” He watched your thumbs trace the lines of his palm. “Can we?” He looked to your face tentatively, the corners of his lips taut, his breath trapped in his chest.

“Yes,” You sighed, “Please,” You drew him close, your hands gliding up his arms, settling on his shoulder as his rested on your waist, drawing you pressed yourself to him, “That’s all I want.” You stood on your tiptoes, your lips almost touching his, “Let’s go back and stay there forever.”

You kissed him, no longer feeling so incomplete. You never wanted to sleep in an empty bed again, not knowing that he may never lay beside you again. You couldn’t stand the thought of it. You couldn’t bare any glimpse of yourself alone. Your future was intertwined, of that you were certain, and your past flitted away like the seconds on a clock. All was as it should be.

[jq37]

Ok last one. What's the tea on Prompocalypse?

So...that was something, huh?

This is gonna be quick and dirty (relatively speaking, it’s still too long already as I come back and make this edit) because I have work tomorrow and there are def stuff I want to talk about more and I will (esp if I get asks) but I have work in the morning so let’s just get some words onto the screen aight.

The episode titles have had a pretty consistent naming scheme up until this point so the one word, non alliterative title had me at a 7 on the foreboding scale before we even started.

Everyone was in prom wear! And lol, Siobhan is the only one in a dress. That's almost exactly what I pictured Adaine wearing to prom. That exact shade of blue-green. And Emily looks like a waiter. 

I wonder what Bren's plan was for if they'd thwarted the crowning entirely. Got baller initiative, some nat 20's on crown keepaway and smashing, and killed Penelope/Dayne before the bad guys could finish them. Would he just try to crown someone else or would the curb stompage have stood? Not that Goldenhoard would have been a pushover I imagine but jeez. He couldn't have been as strong as his true form.

Sidenote: One of my favorite little character things is Zac and Siobhan helping each other do math.

Fig dimension dooring Gorgug to the stage and then skateboarding away. Amazing.

"I'm going for her crown vs. his crown."/"In this climate?"

OK, shoutout to Zac fo asking for those bombs because they are OP as hell. 

I love how they just charged in and started trying to kill people, no questions asked, no explaining themselves to the other students, just bombs out immediately. 

My man Riz just couldn't catch a break. I understand the out of story reason the police haven't shown up is that Murph was rolling garbage, but what's taking them so long in story? Where? Is? Sklonda?

"I'm going to jump on the back of the Hangman."/”Presumptuous."

But also, by the end of the fight he's just like, "Do anything any party member tells you to!"

Lou losing it over Riz claiming best friend status. But damn, they kinda are the closest to each other in the party. Wild. 

"You know what baby girl? Why don't you ready an action until I get there," said Siobahn to Ally, hilariously for a number of reasons. 

They keep saying Teen Wolf and I have no idea what part of the movie they're referring to. This is the second ep in a row.

Lou trying to recruit a super sad Ragh.

They started off this fight really strong. Doing double digit damage and rolling over 20s. I was like, "Damn, they've leveled up. They're doing great!" Of course, we were still in the first third of the ep so I didn't know where we were going. But Lou was right. "Wild first turn."

"And then I shoot him."

I'm half convinced Riz jinxed everyone by saying, "Remember the corn fight?"

Kristen cast ONE spell and then said, "I don't have a lot of spells left." THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TRY AND SAVE ADAINE'S WORTHLESS FAMILY. YOU ARE THE HEALER. YOU NEED ALL YOUR SPELLS.

The students running to get food on the way out. Mood.

They messed Dayne *up*. This was the high point of the battle, objective-wise.

Sidenote, why would Dayne have needed to be at the Seacaster Manor raid? It feels dumb to ris him when he was such an important part of things. Was it literally just because he didn't like Fabian? And he disliked him enough to try and kill his parents? Yeesh.

Kirsten @ Ragh flipping out over Dayne: I see what's going on here.

Ragh really made this fight harder than it had to be. If Gorgug hadn't been grappled before Penelope got the crown they might have had a fighting chance.

So Penelope just straight up let what's her face (Sam I think) get palimpsested? Major yikes. Like I know it's a good thing they killed her but I kinda wish they hadn't so we could learn exactly what the insane thought process was there. She comes off as crazier than Biz because Biz was trapping girls he didn't respect, not his actual friends, you know? Like, did Goldenhoard say he was gonna make her an actual queen or something? Because all this isn't worth just being prom queen.

"Sometimes you make a villain and they die in the first two rounds," said Brennan, as if he didn't know what he was about to unleash on the party. Geez, I don't know how long they would have survived if Penelope and Dayne had been in play for a large chunk of the fight.

Murph's idea to blind him was a good one.

I almost was like, "Thank God Gorthalax got kidnapped," because that was the only good explanation for him seemingly ditching Fig.

Ally: Was that his best friend? (Emily: What./Siobahn: NO.)

"I'm like an advertisement for chicken."/"What chicken adverts are you watching?"/"It's like if you went to prom and there was a dangling chicken leg."/"What prom did you go to?"

Fabian full on clocking Penelope in the face like he's playing Punch Out.

"I killed my father today. Yes."

"This is against the rules but I don't care." In hindsight, this feels like foreshadowing.

"Well, that's the risk you take when you go to Aguefort Adventuring Academy."

"Get on the fucking right team!"

Lou (a la Gimli): And *my* D6.

Brennan pulling out that GIANT final form Goldenhoard figure.

For some reason, it didn't occur to me that he'd be just a legit dragon in his true form. I was picturing like the lich from Adventure Time or something.

Also, I was kinda expecting him to "Drop the act," and majorly change in personality but he was basically the same. Just a dick.

Gorgug rolls a 4. Brennan pauses for a second. The entire party: No.

Zac goes all in every time no matter how dumb it is. I love him.

"Father, stop this."/"What?"

"Not clever enough for the library and not brave enough for the world." Oww, I felt that one. Did Brennan have that waiting to use or did he come up with it on the spot because that was brutal.

Goldenhoard goes through the whole party, trying to hit their weakest point and he gets what might have been a great hit on Fig (You're so unloveable your father would rather go to hell than stay with you.) but she just says, "You have got to stop flirting with me," and completely diffuses the moment. As unflappable as Brennan is, he had to take a sec to jump back into the insult parade after that.

"I'm going to eat you."/"OH MY GOD."/"I'm not making it sexual!"

"*The* ball, bitch."

OK, I was wondering what the deal was with Riz's dad. Because giving him that gun implies a chance to kill his dad's killer but I didn't think it could be Goldenhoard directly because of the binding. That's another point towards Riz being the one to finish him off.

Wild that they weren't able to get any of the kids (save Ragh eventually) to help them with the fight. You go to adventuring school! Cowards! You would never make it at Sunnydale and that school was mostly normals!

The one dude still just getting food while Goldenhoard has turned into a full on dragon.

When an 18 wasn't a high enough roll for Fig to make her fear check, that's when I realized my earlier apprehension wasn't misplaced. I mean, maybe it should have been when he turned into a dragon but it is what it is.

But Fig skating away and then going, "Just kidding bitch," because she got it on the very next turn was hilarious.

Kristen still not being 100% on whether Ragh is gay or not.

Who was gonna kick Ragh off the team for being gay? Maybe Daybreak would have but Gorthalax def wouldn't have. Maybe he means he would have been bullied off?

Siobahn to Kristen/Ally: Stop outing students.

I can't believe Gorgug had to kiss Ragh in the middle of this fight to get his head in the game.

Also, I didn't get into it before because I knew this scene was coming but poor Ragh. Like, I could have told him things were gonna go this way and he's a big dummy for thinking otherwise, but poor dude. And then he finally gets it together and he gets wrecked.

"EMILY, I SOMETIMES CAN'T TELL WHEN YOU'RE REALLY FUCKING WITH ME OR NOT."

Siobhan doing the D&D equivalent of reminding the teacher they had homework.

The amount of dice that Brennan rolled for Goldenhoard was truly horrifying. That's permadeath damage.

AND HE GOT THE HEALER DOWN FIRST. This was the next moment I started sensing a TPK.

"HOMOPHOBE!"/"You hit both of the gay ones!"

Kristen taking damage from Goldenhoard's libertarian speech.

I find it such a Fig move to be like, "Can I use charm person to snap Adaine out of it," instead of the spell actually made for that purpose. 

Rolling low perception and getting no information is the worst because then it's like...OK I know something's out there but what dammit?

When Brennan said Fig would have to do opposed athletics against Adaine, that was the first time I was like, "Oh thank God she's so weak."

Murph forgetting to uncanny dodge until midway through the ep was uncharacteristic. Really shows how wild the fight was. 

"This kid likes to get his ass beat to a soundtrack."

Fabian refusing to just use the stairs like a normal person. 

Penelope going, "What's your deal?" like she's not helping an evil dragon who wants to rule the world. 

JAWBONE

JAWBONE JAWBONE JAWBONE

My man Jawbone shot way up on the list of cool adults today.

For real, the scene with Jawbone and Adaine was my second favorite moment of the episode and it would have been my favorite if not for a bit of divine intervention later. 

I already made a post about this but Jawbone notices Adaine flipping the hell out and he asks her if she has panic attacks and if her parents gave her any meds for it. She responds in, like, the smallest, most broken and defeated voice with a tiny head shake, "My parents just left and I don't know where they are." Gah, my heart. She was half crying. I was half awake and being kicked in the face with the full force of human emotion. It was a lot. I felt like I was a kid watching that one scene from Fresh Prince again but British-er. She gets that her parents suck and she hates them but she's 14. Everyone wants their parents to love them. It's like in our DNA.

And then Jawbone launches into the wildest motivational speech ever (including all of Kristen's, which is saying a lot) which starts with him sucking off a border patrol agent. (You understand me?/No!)

Ally, MVP of Terrible Speeches: *That* was the point?

Siobhan trying not to crack up and break character throughout that whole scene was great.

I love that Brennan was clearly trying to not encourage people to mess with their med dosage irl because he was very specific about that but also he was like, "A dragon is about to end the world so please shotgun this bottle of magic Xanax and hop on that bike."

I love that Adaine has all the magic stuff in her inventory and then also Xanax.

Aww, Jawbone offered to let her live with him because her house burned down. (I guess that info was on the news?)

And then Adaine rolls a 20 with the help from her meds (and buffs) right away! It's great when the dice cooperate.

"I came here to FUCK SHIT UP. And help children."

"Jawbone rules. I'm so glad we helped him get his life together."

Jawbone is such a sketch person but such a good counselor.

Siobhan calling Goldenhoard and absolute fucking unit sayed be at 5 in the morning when I watched this.

"I AM A CHILD. YOU ARE ATTACKING A BUNCH OF CHILDREN YOU COWARD."

"Then why is your dick out?" Adaine joining in Fig w/ the taunting Goldenhoard via accusations of flirting. 

"Why are you guys partially singed?"/"Because he's been attacking us Dad! Also Dad, he kind of used to come on to me all the time."

"Play the drums more and we'll have a full band on stage!"/"...Instead."

"You ruined prom!"/"I RUINED PROM?"

At this point I was thinking, "Geez, there's not a lot of episode left and Penelope isn't even dead yet. How could they possibly defeat Goldenhoard AND have time for tying up loose ends?" TPK vibes increase.

Adaine getting a nat 20 on Arcana, "Yeah it is what it is. You're screwed."

Hell yeah for Adaine giving Goldenhoard her low divination roll to ensure her lightning bolt hit. Not that it ended up mattering that much but still. Sick.

"Well you could have told me before this very moment!"/"I was dead!"

I just checked on the stats of an an adult red dragon in 5E and it's got 256 HP. 256! And look at the other stats! They're wild.

"This is the number of dice?"/"Yeah."/"God."

Fig goes down. Their secondary healer. So, not good. Very not good.

Brennan letting Emily burn Goldenhoard's tie as she passes out because Emily refuses to do nothing.

And Riz goes down too! The one with the med kit! At this point I was like, there is no way this can end well.

"How far away is the hospital?" I love it when they try just normal solutions in this magic game like calling their parents and going to the hospital.

It is an hour and 47 minutes into the episode before Adaine remembers she's wearing a magic coat that can make her anything (within reason). Which, to be fair, it took me a little bit too but, in my defense, I'm not staring at her character sheet.

Real talk, I didn't think she was gonna get anything from the jacket from that ask. Something to beat Kalvaxis is such a big ask.

When Brennan started going into the jacket stuff I was like, this is a really weird deus ex machina if that's what this is. But also, the kids have been hilariously chill with just having Adaine walk around in a jacket filled with people.

There was a lot to unpack there and I'll got to it in another post but I can't do another 4k epic this week y'all. I have work in the morning.

Adaine yelling for Basrar to get them their ice cream before they freaking die.

Aww Gorthalax tried to heal Fig instead of attacking.

"Daddy that was a waste of a turn."

Gorgug who has a million hit points went down and all the healers are down. There are less than ten minutes left in the episode. TPK for sure, I'm thinking.

Adaine flipping people off with a vengeance today.

Also the fact that she totally forgot that she could ask for a healing potion which is totally a thing that she almost def would have been able to get is hilarious. I mean it wouldn't have been as funny if the episode ended differently but, as it stands, hilarious.

"Does the Hangman know medicine?"

"What about this student? Is he studying to be a cleric?"

Adaine is down. That's everyone down but Fabian. Three and a half minutes left. And that's when I realize. There's not enough time for a good ending, but there's not enough time for a bad ending either. But there's no S2. This is an anthology series. What's going on here my sleepy 6am brain is saying.

Fig giving her dad bardic inspiration while passed out because Emily is Emily.

Everyone (exceptt Riz) was making their saves. I'm thinking, "Is next season different characters, same setting. Maybe a bunch of years in the future? Legacy characters?" I'm trying to put together the fact that this is the finale with 2 minutes left with the fact that they're playing different characters next season. The pieces aren't fitting. 

And that's because I couldn't have predicted what was about to happen.

Ally, clearly joking says, "Can I roll for a nat 20 and just be alive?"

Brennan, barely thinking, says, "Sure, go for it," as casually as if he was okaying a perception check.

Murph and Lou are cracking up at the absurdity of the ask. 

Ally says, "This is to the corn god," half solem, half smiling.

Siobhan holds her hand over the dice like she's blessing them.

"I know I left for a while," Ally starts as the dice are cast and...

"NAT 20 MOTHERFUCKER!"

Everyone goes WILD.

Ally punches air.

Brennan looks like someone slapped him.

Emily: You have to rip up your comparative world religions book.

BONUS EPISODE UNLOCKED

And what did we learn today? A 5 percent chance is small, but not insignificant. 

OK, there’s one thing I want to address before I tap out for the night (and it’s not spell checking. I’ll do that in the morning).

I saw some people discussing the possibility that they faked the ending. Like, they just edited it like that to give them another chance because they were all about to die. Beyond the fact that I just trust them to not have done that, the other big reason I don’t think that’s likely is because there was a much more seamless way of stacking the deck in their favor. Brennan could have had Adaine pull literally anything out of her jacket. And I truly mean anything because this is a finale. Even if he gave her something game breaking, it wouldn’t have set a precedent because it’s the last ep. And that’s beyond all the NPCs that could plausibly have come in because they know something is up and teleportation is a thing in this world. Nah, I think that was just good, old fashioned, luck of the roll and thank Helio because they needed it.

OK, that’s it for now! Join me at some point between now and next ep to unpack this because it’s a lot and apparently we have another episode to get through. Hoot growl baby!

[thespacequail]

Darling in the Franxx (ep. 17)

...

.......

..........Well then, I didn’t think they’d go there, yet here we are.  Im still waiting on that huge revelatory twist, but we are getting close, I can almost taste it.

>Ok so, everything is going great, the kids are doing fine, then the Nines show up to ruin EVERYTHING.  They tell them Papa sent them and he’s worried about them, they are all happy to tears and this is a LOAD OF BULL SHIT, you can see it on their smug little grins, bunch’a assholes if you ask me.   Anyway they are going to stay with the gang for a bit to, as I said before, ruin everything.  02 tells Alpha to go fuck himself.  It was a good scene.

>HIRO IS GROWING HORNS!  REPEAT!  HIRO IS GROWING BLUE HORNS!  HE IS TURNING INTO A KLAXXOSAUR PERSON JUST LIKE 02!!!  *ahem* We’ve all kinda assumed this would happen for a while, what with the saurification comments and the high yellow blood cell thing (which still means nothing but a lot of people are interpreting it as meaning the cells that make up bone marrow, as such having a high amount means he would grow bony structures easily, i.e. horns. Fine, I’ll go with it.).  The whole scene is really cute and I like what they’ve done with their relationship and how it’s portrayed, the bit about Hiro’s drawing being awful but 02 loves it because he made it was particularly sweet and reminded me of some good times (which was immediately followed up by remembering why those times are no longer good and I was made sad.  But that is neither here nor there.).

>Then the plot dictated that the Nines needed something specific to fuck up, so one of them bumps into Kokoro and she drops her baby book.  Question: how did she not realize it was gone?  She clearly carries it everywhere, why was she not freaking out that she lost it when she went back to her room? Why did she take it to the bathroom anyway?  Oh right, the plot, whatever.  So the Nines are like “How dare these kids learn about sex.  Papa didn’t brainwash people for them to understand how their bodies work.”  Jeeze, this is like the worst of both Catholic AND Public school when it comes to sex-ed.  But the menacing cut to Kokoro being innocent, I’m just thinking “Oooooh she ‘bout to get shanked for this.  This ain’t going to go well...”  Then we go to Kokoro and Mitsuru in the greenhouse and...Imma need another arrow for this one.

>Kokoro really wants to get it on with Mitsuru, and I’m not saying that like a joke, like she ACTUALLY wants to fuck him.  She leans in close, then closer, says some stuff that only horny teens in hentai would say, and then she starts taking off his shirt.  Meanwhile I’m just sitting there like *insert blinking guy gif* “I’m sorry what?  Is this really happening right now?”  I just didn’t really know how to process it.  But Mitsuru kinda panics and pushes her away, and that makes sense cause like, Kokoro is the only person who knows what sex is, and Mitsuru still has a few issues he needs cleared up first.  Then Zorome shows up to break the tension, nothing else really to say about it, it plays out about as you’d expect from a show when teens get caught about to do the nasty.

>TWO BROOOS, CHILLIN’ IN THE HOT SPRINGS FIVE FEET APART ‘CAUSE THEY’RE NOT GAY!  Hiro and Mitsuru finally have their heart to heart, well I say finally cause its been years for them, only a few episodes for us, feels like years, whatever.  They talk about love and stuff and they patch up their issues, everything is good.  It is a good scene and was important growth for them.

>Everyone is in the exposition room, I mean the living room, and they address the Kokoro and Mitsuru situation.  There we go Futoshi, that’s the emotional response I was expecting from you, kinda figured he wasn’t actually totally over it like he acted beck at the snow base.  Time for the Nines to be fuckers.  Kokoro reveals she wants to make a baby because that’s how she wants to leave her mark on the world, ok, that’s cool.  Turns out sex is banned, and Alpha says humans evolved to not have/need reproductive organs, also that way they don’t need to worry about gender.  Man I really want to punch this guy in the face.  Ikuno’s got me covered, pimp slapping that hoe, even the Nines respect the backhand with a whistle.  I highly respect that the LGBT character is the one to say gender is still important, but man, she would have murdered him right then and there if she didn’t get held back.  Personally, I’d have let her.

>Hey look, the adults are back.  Kokoro gets reprimanded cause sex is bad m’kay?  They don’t like the Nines either, but can’t do shit cause the Nines out rank them.  Turns out only kids have reproductive organs in order to pilot the Fraxx, but then they get removed later? It’s not clear, cause after that Nana has a break down cause she’s relapsing through puberty, so does that mean she still has a uterus from when she was a parasite?  I feel like there’s some logistical minutia that’s getting glossed over that I don’t think they’ll take the time to explain.  But GOD FORBID they don’t give Alpha every conceivable chance to be a douche.  He says she should be replaced with a new Nana, the fuck does that mean?  Also he chastises them for working with Dr. Franxx, doesn’t he also work for APE?  Or is he implying that he does secret experiments that APE doesn’t like?  I’m confused., but the Dr. is intrigued by the kids having the urge to fuck, that came out wrong, he’s interested that they have the original biological impulse to reproduce, so I guess that’s what Al-fuck meant by humans evolving past that.  Interesting.

>I knew I was right about the Klaxxosaur Princess (it was obvious but shut up, let me have this).  A couple of APE guys ask her to surrender, it does not go well for them and they get brutally murdered.  Ooooooh she has the same widescreen aspect ratio thing they used to do with 02! Oh I like her.  She calls them “human wannabes”, does that mean she’s a real human and APE is something else?  I’ll theorize later.

>Back in the exposi-I mean, living room, the kids talk about the fact they have no idea what sex is.  02 doesn’t have reproductive organs apparently, but she thinks it’s cool that the rest of them do and can “leave their mark on the future”.  Ok, don’t think that was necessary, but whatever, just add it to the list of character traits I guess.

>Mitsuru goes and makes up with Kokoro, they kiss, I’m thinking “and then they fuck”, AND. THEN. THEY. FUCK.  Wow, they actually went through with that, that’s pretty ballsy (heh) for a story like this, but good on them for not leaving that hanging, or worse not showing anything of it.  Like I’m actually glad they showed the shot of them in bed together, people have sex, teenagers have sex, it happens, sometimes you just gotta show it, or at least what can be shown on a daytime airing TV show aimed at a young adult audience.

>Finally, we got Ape up in the death star, talking evilly about how evil they are and how the world will soon be their’s (not really but you get the joke).  The Nines show up one last time to be dicks before the episode cuts out.

A’ight, Imma pose some theories: +APE are aliens that enslaved part of the human race +The Klaxxosaur Princess is among the last original humans +She preserved what she could of humanity by putting them in the Klaxxo-cores so they could fight back +Dr. Franxx is trying to undermine APE’s efforts and restore the enslaved human species to their original form/abilities/want’s to let people fuck again +The squad is going to get order 66′d in the next episode or two now that Papa knows what’s up.  Obviously they wont do it, but it will happen.

One theory I don’t personally believe, but my friend posed and is just crazy enough to be possible, if not really dumb, is that Hiro’s original partner is not actually dead, and will be one of the ones piloting Hringhorni.  That’s some hot anime bullshit right there, but Hiro resurrected by the power of boners before, so crazier things have happened.