#I should be resting this cold off but life keeps happening so much
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boyapologist · 9 days ago
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save me nimesulide save me
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aethelwyneleigh27 · 4 months ago
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Villain!Ghost x Pregnant!Wife!Reader
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Synopsis: Your husband wants your company..
A/n: GUYS OMG, I know it's been 1 month and a little more since my last official work. I've been procrastinating on this for so long since I only have less than a week till school again.. Also everyone I love on this app is just disappearing, like @ghost-cyphera just deleted her account 4 days ago and I got the notif but didn't see it in time, I didn't even get to say goodbye. Just wanted to apologize to you guys after being gone for so long as well. Also, another villain!Ghost drabble? 👀
Finding it difficult to walk was one of the least things you've suspected you'd be concerned of upon conceiving, always needing your handmaiden's help in such a mundane task was shameful to say the least but your husband insisted.
If it hadn't been the hand maiden then it would've been him instead, you couldn't keep him from his duties from the kingdom as he carried even yours. Wanting you to turn your attention to the health of the babe growing in you and especially yourself..
"My lady.." you were pulled out of your thoughts by the voice of your handmaiden. You took in a breath from the cool air that blew on your face as you stood by the stone railing..
"Yes, Leticia?" You turned to her..
"The prince consort has requested your company.." Leticia announced, you nod as you removed your hand from the cold stone. You glanced once more to the people of your kingdom, going about their day and life before gently lifting yourself off from leaning on the stone.
Leticia offered you her arm to help you walk more efficiently..
...
"You sent for me..?" You asked your husband, he was sat and signing another set of documents and scrolls. You closed the door, palms gently pushing till you heard it click.
"No, I told them to announce my arrival to you. How dare they exert my wife by giving her false instructions.." he huffed to which you laughed. He wouldn't do anything violent about it, as he so usually does with staff that don't comply but he knew it'd upset you if anything gory were to happen to them.
"I am quite alright, I need to move around too. It's proven to be good for our child." You said, sitting next to the graciously comfortable chair next to his working desk that he had someone make for you.
You felt relief from the pressure previously on your back, hand on the bump of your stomach and with that a sigh came from your lips. Peacefully watching your husband, the sound of the satisfying scratching of the quill on the crisp papers.
You felt his hand grasp yours, he pulled it, lips resting on the back. His affection made your heart beat faster and he felt it, the pad of his index finger on your wrist. The thumping made him chuckle as you smiled and leaned your head on his shoulder.
"You should rest for a while, my love. You'd work yourself to sickness at this point." You kiss his cheek softly. He put his quill down, "If that's my wife wants.." he said.
He wrapped his arm around you, the other hand placed on your baby bump. His thumb gently rubbing, you jolted a bit feeling a strong kick..
It made you groan, how restless the rascal is. Your husband adjusted his hand to feel the next kick.. he'd swear it was a girl, not that he'd care for that sort of thing. He'd kill for them either way, especially for you. He could stare at you all day, swollen with his child.
How glowing you looked wrapped in the finest silk and the gold and jewels in your hair and body clicking upon contact with another piece, he wished he could tell you how utterly speechless you'd leave each man by just walking passed them but to him no word is enough to describe you.
At least he could spend these small intimate moments with just you and you alone, free of the world for even just a few minutes as he needed a break from the work he very much was eager to do to be able to receive praise from his wife..
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Taglist: @wishesforyou @puff0o0 @simping4konig @simp4konig @blingblong55 @azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @callsignsnowpunisher @anonymuslydumb @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @connorsui @capuccino192 @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb @celestialhole @the-second-sage @starryylies @everlastingmoonlightsworld @keiva1000 @iexiam @drewsmusee @konigceo @duck-a-doodle
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hyunniesgirl · 1 year ago
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Another Love | part 1
Summary: you've been hopelessly in love with Han since you were children. One night you confess your feelings to him.
Words count: 8,539
Warnings for this part: lots of angst, drunk people, drunk Han is petty asf
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
A/N: So I made that pool asking if I should post this fic in chapters or a 20,000+ words chapter and the long ass chapter won but at the time my mind told me I would be able to finish the whole fic before posting it... Jokes on me I need validation and feedback for me to write so yeah let's do this in chapters, sorry
A/N2: I had this idea for quite some time now but got suddenly inspired listening to the song another love.
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You're done. Really, you can't take it anymore. You've known Han Jisung since elementary school, you have been basically joined at the hip since then, your parents even became best friends because of you two.
You don't know exactly when you fell in love with him, was it on your second day at school when he invited you to play with him because he noticed you were all alone? Was it when someone made an awkward joke about your messed up hair cut in second grade and he picked a fight with them? Maybe it was the very first moment you laid eyes on him, joking around with everyone and being the most popular kid in the classroom. You really can't remember, but the thing you're sure of is: Han Jisung doesn't like you back.
You've always known that, but inside you there was a tiny bit of hope that one day he would wake up and suddenly love you back.
That didn't happen though. You are now 23 and he has never ever shown the smallest amount of romantic interest in you.
"That's fine", you thought to yourself, ever since you realized your feelings for him, "I'm going to stay with him his entire life, that doesn't sound so bad"
Until it started to sound really bad. What are you gonna do? See him getting a girlfriend, then getting engaged and eventually married? Would you always be there on the sidelines listening to his lovesick whines about the woman he loves so much? Would you be the godmother to his children? By then, would you have gotten over him already? Or would you keep this up forever, marrying someone just because you can't stay alone and being in love with your best friend for the rest of your life? That was the moment you knew you had to stop, you can't keep this up.
Coincidentally Han broke up with his last girlfriend a few months ago, you thought that would be a good opportunity for you to be his rebound, yeah, pretty dignified of you.
So you dress up really pretty, hair up, a dress that always made Han compliment you and to finish it off—the necklace he gave you on your 12th birthday.
You think this is it, this is the day you're going to tell him how much you love him and maybe, just maybe he will contemplate giving you a chance.
When he arrives at your shared apartment, with two cans of beer and fried chicken, you give him a cheerful greeting, setting the table and trying to gather courage to speak.
"So, how was practice?", you begin, maybe some small talk will help you relax.
"It was good, we are almost done with the album", he says, typing something on his phone. "How was your day?", he asks, putting the device on the table and looking at you.
"Good, I had class in the morning and tutoring in the afternoon", you take a sip of your beer, "one of the mothers actually recommended me to other parents and I'm gonna start tutoring more students next week"
He smiles, "that's good, you're really smart"
You blush, bringing the back of your hands to your face to try and lessen the hot skin of your cheeks with the cold of your hands.
"Actually, I want to talk to you", you start, it's now or never.
"Sure-", Jisung stops mid sentence when his phone buzzes. "Just a minute", he looks at the screen and smiles, your heart sinks at the sight. You know that smile too well, you have seen it dozens of times. You feel your insides turning over. It's the smile meant only for the person he likes.
"Hey, Lia. Yeah, totally, I can talk right now", he picks up the call and once again asks you for a minute lifting his index finger, he walks towards the balcony and closes the glass door after going through it.
He's laughing about something, is she even that funny or is he just trying to win her favor? She's pretty, you know it. All of his girlfriends looked like models. You sigh, looking at yourself and feeling awful, suddenly you don't feel pretty anymore, you actually feel ridiculous.
Why did you think things would change just because you got brave enough to speak up? Jisung sees you as a best friend and nothing more, you have to come to terms with that.
Your mind is rushing, thinking about what you're going to do now? Can you keep being friends with him? Yeah, of course, he's your best friend, you won't end your friendship because you can't control your feelings. But you'll need time, right? You won't be able to get over this unrequited love if you keep seeing him everyday, doing everything with him and sleeping in the same house.
"So, what do you want to talk about?", he asks, sitting again. You didn't even notice he had come back inside.
You sigh, you'll tell him about it all and then you'll find the strength in you to move on.
"I like you", you say so low you're not sure he heard you. But he did, he smiles and chuckles.
"I like you too, we're best friends for a reason", he stretches his arm to take a fried chicken.
"No, I like like you", you admit, hugging yourself, feeling cold suddenly, you look around and see Han left the door to the balcony open. "I've been in love with you since I can remember", you complete.
The look on his face would be funny if it wasn't tragic, his brows are furrowed in confusion and his eyes have a very familiar look: fear. Of course, he's afraid of losing his best friend, you already guessed that much.
"Y/N I-", you notice his breathing quickening. "I'm sorry, I never knew", he says, shoulders slumping, his arms dropping to the side of his body.
"Yeah, I know you didn't", you say. He's still staring at you with so much hurt in his eyes. Jisung knows he will have to turn you down and it's going to hurt him a lot, but not as much as it will hurt you and he never ever wanted to hurt you. 
"I'm sorry, I don't know what to say", he takes a deep breath, "I never thought about you in that way, I'm really sorry, I don't feel the same"
You're not going to cry, you decided that the moment you saw fear in his eyes. It's not his fault you like him, he can't fall in love with you just because you love him. You're not going to cry and make him feel worse than you can tell he's already feeling. But listening to those words it's worse than you could have expected, you feel like the world is crumbling around you.
"I know you don't", you smile sadly.
He looks more confused now.
"Then, why did you tell me?"
"It's just… I'm done with all this", you reply, getting up from your chair.
"Done with our friendship?" Han can feel all the air leaving his body while he waits for your answer.
You chuckle, fidgeting with your foot.
"No, I don't think I could ever be done with that", you smile trying to reassure him and he feels so relieved. "I can't keep doing this, I can't continue seeing you with other people and stay hurting alone"
"I can stop bringing people to the apartment and I'll never talk about them around you", he says trying to help and your stomach sinks a lot more. Why does he have to be so sweet?
"Actually, I'll need some time", you clear your throat, "I think I'm going to stay with Seungmin for the time being, he is looking for a roommate"
Han's eyes widen and he gets up, walking towards you.
"What are you talking about? Are you going to move out?"
"It's not something definitive, I'm going to stay there until he finds a new roommate and come back after that", you take a step back, noticing how close he is to you. "Luckily by then I'll be over you, I think I just need some personal space for now, where you're not there everytime I look, or your things aren't mixed with mine or your scent isn't around every room"
"Will you still speak to me?", he asks, he wants to hug you, to hold you in his arms and say how sorry he is for not feeling the same. But he knows he can't, the best thing he can do is to keep his distance from you right now.
"I think we should keep it restricted to apartment things for now, I'll keep paying my half of the rent since my things will still be here"
"You don't have to pay if you're not here"
Ever since Jisung started making good money he insisted that you didn't have to pay for rent since you only work part time as a tutor to pay for your living expenses but you always refused. Even though he earns a lot more than you it wouldn't be fair for him to be the only one paying and honestly, you felt that if he was the only one paying for it, you would feel too much like you were a couple.
"No, I'll pay you. This arrangement doesn't change the fact that we still share the apartment"
He nods, looking down, the awkward silence making you sick.
"I'm really sorry I hurt you", he whispers and all the crying you avoided over this whole conversation threatens to come out at that exact moment.
"It's not your fault", you say, "I'm sorry I made things awkward, just give me some time and we'll be back to how things were, okay?", you give him a reassuring smile even though you're not sure things will ever go back to the way it was.
You wake up feeling like shit, you cried your eyes out the moment you stepped into Seungmin's apartment. He was so sweet to you, staying awake until you calmed down and even offered you his room for you to sleep but you refused. He was already doing you a favor by letting you stay on his couch until he found a roommate.
You sit, stretching yourself, you slept pretty comfortably but all the stress from last night left your muscles sore.
"Are you feeling better?", you hear Seungmin's voice and look at the kitchen, he's making coffee. That reminds you of all the days you woke Han up with a nice and hot coffee so he wouldn't be in a bad mood waking up so early.
"I don't think so", you answer, shaking your head like that would make your thoughts disappear. "Can you get me some of that?", you ask and he smiles.
"Already on it", you start tidying up the blanket and the pillow you used.
"What are you going to do today?", Seungmin asks while you sit at the table.
"I have some tutoring to do and class in the afternoon, maybe I'll go shopping with Hannah later"
"That's good, try to keep yourself entertained at least for the next couple of days", he hands you the mug and you nod.
All your friends knew about your crush on Han and you made all of them swear they wouldn't tell him. You were afraid things would be awkward now, since Han was their friend before you met them, but they all showed you support now that you had confessed.
Hannah had offered you to stay with her, but she has a roommate that's really strict about everything in their apartment and you don't want to cause trouble to your friend by staying there. Luckily Seungmin's last roommate had moved a couple of weeks ago and he was looking for someone new, but by the way he's picky that's not going to happen so soon.
"Since I'll be staying here and you won't accept money because I won't be using a room, the groceries will be on me and I won't accept no for an answer", you say finishing your coffee and getting up. Seungmin sighs, rolling his eyes.
"I know you're going to buy it anyway, so I'll accept it"
"Then send me a list of whatever you need and I'll buy it tonight or tomorrow", you blow him a kiss, picking your bag from the floor and heading to the bathroom.
You take a long, hot, refreshing shower and pick some comfortable clothes to go to your tutoring session.
Seungmin's already gone when you go back to the kitchen, there's a message from him on your phone.
Minnie: I left some sliced fruit in the fridge for you, eat before going out.
Minnie: I'll send you the list later btw
You smile, having someone taking care of you is nice. For a second, it makes you forget the reason why you're there to begin with.
You feel like crying again, but you can't show up to your students house with red eyes and a puffy face.
The parents that are near each other usually ask you to teach their children together in longer sessions. That strengthens the bond the kids have while strengthening the connection between the families. That usually happens when the families are wealthy, they see an opportunity in their children's friendship to get on each other's good side.
Your parents started hanging out with Jisung's parents too, not because of connections but because you two were always in each other's houses. Once, you broke your arm falling from a tree you tried to climb following Han, his mother had to call yours and calm her down on the phone the entire time your mother was driving to the hospital to meet you. That day you got scolded by both and after they finished the lecture they looked at each other and smiled, bonding over the fear of something happening to their precious child.
When they went out to buy some coffee and talk, Jisung sat by the side of your hospital bed, lips pouting and tearing up.
"I'm sorry I dared you to follow me all the way up there", he says, taking the hand of your good arm and holding it.
"It's okay, now at least I have an exciting story to tell the others", you say and he smiles, whipping his eyes.
The noise of the gate opening wakes you up from your daydream, you have to stop thinking about Han if you want to get over him.
The kids come running in your direction the moment the housekeeper opens the door.
"Miss Y/N, look I got a 9.5 on my test", the girl smiles brightly showing you the paper with the grade marked in red.
"Woah, Misu, you're so smart, I don't think you even need me anymore", you bend to her height and she pouts, sometimes she acts like a little child when she's already 12.
"Of course I need you, you're the prettiest and smartest person I know", she says and you hear someone clear their throats by the stairs. It's Misu's mother.
"If I didn't agree with her I'd be hurt", she says and you smile.
"Good morning, Mrs. Kim, I only helped a little, Misu's really smart", you say and the girl shows you her white teeth, looking at her mother and waiting for some praise.
"Of course she is", she pats the girl's head. "Eun, aren't you going to say hi to Y/N?"
The boy is a few months younger than Misu but a lot more shy. You saw him coming with her when you arrived but got so engrossed in your conversation that forgot he was there in silence.
"Hello, miss Y/N", he says, polite as ever.
"Hi, Eun, did you get a good grade like Misu?"
He nods, showing you his test with 9.8 marked in red.
"He's smarter than me", Misu pouts.
"Congratulations, Eun", you say, patting his head, making him blush and you smile. "I think you are both really smart and I'm here to help you get even smarter"
Mrs. Kim tells you to go ahead and start the lesson and invites you to stay for lunch. You were pretty lucky with the parents you met till now, all of them were nice to you and cared a great deal about their children so it's a lighthearted job to do.
The kids are indeed smart, usually you don't have to explain the same thing more than twice and they always ask a lot of questions during your time with them.
A week goes by since you last saw Jisung, fortunately he didn't try contacting you. You're sure that if he did you'd break hearing his voice and would beg for him to like you back, giving up on any pride you still have left.
You arrive at school an hour before your classes begin, you're meeting Hannah at the cafe nearby so you can talk a bit.
You look at your phone, there's a message from her saying she's on the bus but the traffic is awful so she might be a little bit late.
You choose a table by the window, contemplating if you should order already or wait till Hannah arrives.
Looking outside, you remember the moment you heard the news that you got into this university. Yours and Jisung's family were at your parents house, you both were seated on the couch when you received the message saying the college entrance results came out. You couldn't type your information, you were trembling so much Han had to do it for you.
When you read your name and the word "accepted" you actually screamed, making your mother drop the plate she had in hands. Your father and Han's came running to see what happened when Jisung showed them the screen.
Your mother and father embraced you, telling how proud they were of you and Jisung's parents did the same, like you were their own daughter.
Jisung wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you up, spinning you and making you burst out laughing. That moment was so good, you wanted to stay there forever.
"Earth to Y/N", you hear Hanna's voice and snap out of your thoughts, sighing. "Is everything okay?", she asks, worried.
"Yeah, I'm good", you say and she narrows her eyes, knowing you are not telling the truth.
Hannah left it at that though, you are going through a hard time and she doesn't want to push it.
Honestly, she don't expect you to be fine. Your lifelong crush had rejected you and to make things worse he is your best friend, so yeah, of course you are not okay.
"Then, I'm going to order", she drops her bag in the seat in front of you, "your usual?"
You nod, seeing her walk to the cashier. You met Hannah three years ago, when you started college. She's the total opposite of you, really outgoing and a total social butterfly, it seems those are the people you attract seeing how Han is the same.
She sat by your side on the first day, making a random joke and making you laugh, that's how she became your best friend. You didn't even have to tell her about your one sided love, she had to see only one interaction between you and Jisung to know exactly what was going on.
She is the one that urged you to tell him about your feelings and was very adamant about you moving on from him, she couldn't let you waste all your 20's being in love with someone that didn't like you back… or not the way you wanted to.
"So, I heard about a party", Hannah says, putting the pager on the table and sitting in front of you.
"There's like a hundred of those, you have to be more specific", you joke and she rolls her eyes.
"You know that guy from English literature? The one that dyed his hair pink last semester?"
"Yeah, it's kinda hard to forget about him", you laugh.
When Yunho came to school with pink hair a rumor of him becoming an idol started going around, everyone tried to be nice to him and all that shit but it turned out he just lost a bet.
"He's hosting this party in like a really big fancy place to celebrate his graduation", she finishes.
"That's nice", you say, fidgeting with your fingers under the table.
"Hmmm, are we going to go or what?", she asks and you glance at her.
"Were we invited?"
"Ahm, you're hot and I'm hot, why wouldn't we be invited?"
You laugh, knowing what she's doing. Hannah is more sensible than you give her credit for, you really thought she would ask about everything that happened on that night, but instead she has been trying to distract you for the past week and that is really nice of her.
She smiles, seeing you smile. Hannah knows you never give enough credit to yourself, you never think you're pretty enough, funny enough, cool enough or smart enough even though you're those things and much more. She approached you on your first day because there's just something about you, something bright and cheerful. When people are upset, mad or sad you always do your best to make them feel better, so Hannah felt this was her time to cheer you up.
The pager buzzes on the table and she gets up, going to the counter to get your orders.
You look at her coming back with a big grin in her lips, handing you the coffee with a note glued to the cup sleeve.
"To the girl with the yellow cardigan, I see you coming here often and I think you're cute, maybe we can hangout sometime? If you're up to it, text me: xxx xxxx-xxxx"
You blush, looking at the counter and seeing the cutest guy looking at you with flushed cheeks. He's so red you can see it from where you're seated. He smiles waving at you and you wave back.
Hannah has one eyebrow lifted looking at your interaction and you feel your cheeks even hotter.
"So, are you going to text him?", she asks, reading the note and you sigh.
"I don't think so", you say, sipping at your coffee.
"Why not?"
"I don't think it would be fair to someone if I start something with them when I'm still in love with someone else", you answer and Hannah sighs.
"Yeah, you have a point", she pouts, "but like, maybe messing around a little won't hurt? I mean, he's not in love with you or anything, you can talk with each other and see where things go"
Hannah's right and you know it. Even though it's still too soon, you should try meeting new people, you're not going to get over Han just by staying away from him.
This feelings, you have it with you for so long, it's hard to let it go. Loving Han is the only romantic feeling you have ever known, it's scary to walk off of this thing you know so well  to something completely new.
You have to, though. It's the only way for your friendship to keep existing. So you nod to Hannah, taking your phone out of your pocket and dialing the number written on the cup, seconds later you're typing a message.
You: Hey, it's the girl in the yellow cardigan, my name is Y/N btw
You send and hear a ping, you thought he would have his phone on silent mode and sudden embarrassment creeps up when you see him taking his phone out of the pocket of his apron.
Cute guy: Hey, I was afraid of making you uncomfortable, so let me apologize first. I just didn't know how to approach you
Cute guy: Ah, and I'm Heeseung
You change the name in his contact before replying.
You: it didn't make me uncomfortable and thank you for calling me cute.
Heeseung: you don't have to thank me for telling the truth.
You giggle, it's interesting to feel like this, even though you can tell it's something temporary.
You: lol, you're really smooth.
"Let's go?", Hannah says, smirking at you and you blush. You nod, picking your things up and getting up from the table, you wave goodbye to Heeseung before going out and he smiles brightly at you.
>><<
The morning after you went away, Han woke up feeling awful, all the things that happened the previous night coming back at him at the same time. He was sure the moment you walked out of the door, giving him your best smile and trying not to cry was the saddest he ever felt in his entire life. You were his best friend, you were everything to him, he felt like shit because he never noticed your feelings. He doesn't know what he would have done if he knew, but maybe he could have been better, talking less about his relationships and especially not bringing his hook ups to the apartment.
He got up, feeling like crying everytime he had to pass by your bedroom door, knowing you were not there and wouldn't be for far too long, all because of him. The bell rings and he runs to the door, hoping it's you, hoping you'll tell him everything was a joke and that you didn't actually like him. Even though he knows you wouldn't press the doorbell since you know the password and he knows the hurt in your eyes when he said he didn't feel the same as you was no joke.
So it was no surprise when he opened the door and found Chan and Changbin there. They did tell him they were going to stop by in the morning to pick him up but with all the things that happened he just forgot about it.
"Are you okay? You look like shit", Changbin says entering the house.
Chan looks at Han, worried.
"Are you sick?", he asks, "where's Y/N?" He knows you wouldn't leave Han alone if he were sick, but you would have shown up already by hearing Changbin's loud voice.
"She's gone", Han says, running his hands through his hair.
"What do you mean?", Chan asks with wide eyes.
"She- she confessed to me and I turned her down", he says, maybe he should have told you he could like you back, that way he wouldn't be feeling this way and you'd still be there with him.
"Shit", Changbin says, his lips pressed in a thin line.
Han looks at the both of them, why don't they look surprised?
"You guys knew about it?" He asks, a little louder than his usual voice and the boys exchange a look. "Woah, thanks for the heads up"
He shouldn't be mad at them, it's not their fault, but he's already too mad at himself so he doesn't know where else to put the blame.
"It was not our place to tell you", Chan says.
"Does everyone know?", Han asks and Changbin nods, "so I was the only one? Am I dumb or something?"
Chan sighs, "it's not really your fault for not knowing, you probably are used to the way Y/N looks and talks to you because you're best friends since you were children, but to the people outside it is pretty clear from the get go that she likes you"
"But where did she go? Are you not friends anymore?", Changbin asks the difficult questions and Chan glares at him.
"She said she will be staying with Seungmin till he finds a roommate and then she's going to come back"
"She probably just needs some time", Chan says, putting a hand on Han's shoulder trying to reassure him, and he really hopes that's the case.
>><<
You've been texting Heeseung for a few days now and he's pretty nice, he's a dance major and works part time at the cafe to pay for living expenses the same as you do with tutoring.
Hannah had convinced you to go to Yunho's party and get wasted, saying you need the college life experience the most now that you had your first heartbreak but you don't want to think about that, you want to forget that you ever loved Han Jisung.
So you drink a whole bottle of wine before leaving for the party, Seungmin's coming with you and Hannah will meet you there. You are looking good, or maybe it's the alcohol that makes you feel good, your hair is down, you're wearing a black lace cropped top you borrowed from Hannah, with a much lower neckline than you are used to, high waisted jeans and black boots.
The party is already crowded when you and Seungmin get there and it's really a fancy place like Hannah told you.
"Let's grab a drink", you yell to Seungmin.
"You should drink water, you're already drunk", he demands and you show your tongue to him.
"Nooooo, don't be a killjoy"
He sighs, it's hard to convince you of something when you're sober, it's even harder when you're drunk.
"You can have a drink after you drink a cup of water", he tells you and you nod, sounds like a win win for you.
After drinking a whole cup of water you show it to him, waiting for a praise and Seungmin rolls his eyes. What are you, a 10 year old?
"Good job, now you can drink", he gives you a cup with something mixed in it, "but you have to drink some water for each drink you take, okay?"
"Okay, dad", you joke, sipping your drink.
Seungmin knows a lot of people at the party and you feel left out every time someone approaches him so you're really happy when Hannah shows up, with a much taller boy accompanying her.
"Look who I found", she says pointing at him.
"Heeseung?", you scream, startling Seungmin who's close to you.
"Jesus, Y/N, calm down", he says putting his hand over his ear, "I'm a singer, I can't lose my hearing", he says and you pout, whining an apology even though you know he's not really mad.
"I didn't know you were gonna be here", Heeseung gets closer to you, side eyeing Seungmin.
"I didn't want to come, Hannah made me", you tell him, "this is Seungmin, he's my friend"
He nods at the boy by your side, relaxing to hear you call Seungmin a friend.
"Hey, Minnie, let's go dance?", Hannah says and Seungmin narrows his eyes suspiciously.
"I don't dance", he answers, crossing his arms and she sighs.
"For fucking sake, just come with me", she says and Seungmin follows her without more questions, he knows too well not to mess with her when she gets angry.
"You look really pretty", Heeseung says, bending a little to lessen the difference in your height. You blush even though it's not as good hearing him saying that as it was when Han complimented you, but you're trying to get over that, aren't you?
"Thanks, you look hot too", you hiccup, you don't have a filter when you're drunk. He smiles, turning around on the table and pouring you a cup of water.
"Drink this, it's going to help", he hands it to you.
"Thank you, you're so sweet and handsome", you yell again but he doesn't flinch like Seungmin did.
"You can't keep saying these kinds of things and not want me to kiss you", he says and you smile, sly.
"Who says I don't want that?", the moment he comprehends what you just said his face reddens, and he thought he was being bold.
"Once you sober up we can talk about that", he tells you and you pout. You wanted to kiss him now, maybe if you did all the hurt you were feeling would go away. Maybe you just needed someone to make you forget about Jisung.
"But I want it now", you cross your arms, behaving like a child that didn't get their way.
"Do you like dancing?", he changes the subject. Your face brightens with his question.
"I LOVE dancing", you show him the choreography to queencard that's playing on the dance floor and he laughs at your messy steps, he's sure you're much better at it while sober.
"Then drink this and let's dance", he hands you another cup of water.
"Seungmin told me I could have a drink after a cup of water, but this makes two cups of water and no drink", you point out and Heeseung can't help but find the drunk you really cute.
"This water will help you so you won't have a bad hangover tomorrow", he says and you nod, that's a good point.
Super by seventeen starts playing and you finish downing the water, grabbing Heeseung's hand and dragging him to the dance floor.
Being a dance major, of course he knows the steps and he's so good there are moments you just stop and watch him in a daze. Actually, he knows the steps to every song playing after that too, you dance so much you're all sweaty and your legs are tired. You're totally sober now, feeling ecstatic. It's so good being at a party having so much fun.
You're jumping and smiling until you see him.
You stop in your tracks seeing Han Jisung staring at you from the other side of the dance floor, your smile fades away as soon as your eyes lock with his.
He looks sick, he lost a lot of weight considering the short period of time you haven't seen each other and he wasn't smiling like he always did. He takes a step in your direction and you automatically step away, your stomach sinking.
You're feeling your heart beat so fast it's overlapping with the loud music, you gulp feeling your legs weaken, why the hell are you having this reaction? He's the same Han Jisung you've known since you were a child, the only difference now is that he knows how you feel about him.
You can't avoid him until you get over your feelings, that won't work and you know it, you have to get used to being near him feeling nothing other than friendship, but you can't see him at that moment, you just can't. You're having fun, there's a handsome guy with you and you want to like him and not Jisung.
You grab Heeseung's hand and pull him away from the dance floor, walking outside so you can breathe some fresh air.
"Did something happen?", he asks, looking confused and worried.
"It just felt stiff in there for a moment", you say and he nods.
You didn't want to explain to him why you were not speaking to your best friend and how messed up your relationship with Han is right now. You want to forget about it and your way of doing it is right by your side, handsome and available.
"So, about that thing you said we could do once I sobered up… I'm sober now", you say and he blushes, analyzing you for a moment to see if you are telling the truth.
The last drink you took was more than an hour ago and you drank so much water after that, it's a miracle you still don't have to use the toilet.
"I don't want to do something you'll regret later", he says and you appreciate how considerate he is. But right now you don't want someone considerate, you want someone that'll sweep you off your feet and help you forget what you so desperately want to. So you get closer, caging him against the wall and tiptoeing, trying to get closer to his face.
"If you don't want to, it's okay. But if you're holding back because you think I'm drunk, I'm not", that was his cue to kiss you. His lips crashing sloppily onto yours, hands cupping your face then moving down to your waist. You wrap your arms around his neck trying to get closer than you already are. He's good, you've kissed enough people in your life to know that, yet you feel sick.
You feel bad and like a horrible person because you just know he can't compare to Jisung even though you never kissed your best friend.
You feel bad thinking about someone else while kissing Heeseung, he's so nice and sweet and you know he's not fooling around, if you give him the chance he's going to truly like you and you're only using him.
You step away sighing, seeing his brows furrowed and the confusion in his eyes.
"Was it that bad?", he jokes but you can see he's feeling hurt. "I'm not trying to brag, but I never got a reaction like that after a kiss"
You smile apologetically, looking for words to explain yourself.
"It was great and you're great", you begin, "I think you're too sweet, that's why I can't lead you on"
"What are you talking about?" he asks, even more confused.
"I'm in love with someone else and I know it sounds awful, I did try to get over him with you but I feel like you'll really like me if we don't stop right now and I'm not sure if I'll be able to be that person for you", you look at him, seeing the disappointment in his face. "I'm sorry, I'm a terrible person and you can hate me if you want"
He stares at you for a few moments, sighing and giving you a reassuring smile after.
"I don't think you're terrible, I think you're truly brave for coming clean like that", you're relieved, you were afraid he would say something mean and even though you feel like you deserve it, you're really fragile right now. "Thank you for telling me before I got too deep into this and I don't know, maybe we can be friends?"
"Absolutely, I would love that"
"So, do you want to go back inside?", he asks and you shake your head.
"I don't think so, I should probably go home", you say, you don't want to go back there to see Han again.
"Do you want me to take you home?"
"It's okay, I'm going to text Seungmin and see where he's at but you can go inside, I'm going to stay here and get some more fresh air"
"Alright, I'll see you at the cafe"
You nod, seeing him walk away. Woah, you just let that masterpiece of a man go because you can't forget about a fucking unrequited love. You curse yourself, slapping your forehead.
After that, you text Seungmin telling where you are and asking where the hell he and Hannah went, sending the same message to her and waiting for their answer.
You sit on the grass, taking a deep breath. You feel a bit sick after seeing Jisung, you never thought you'd feel that way. Never in your worst nightmares did you think you would be afraid to talk to him, maybe you're scared of talking to him and feeling nothing, what if all of this was just in your head and you just needed some time apart to figure it out?
You hear steps close to you and pray it's not some horny couple trying to fuck near you, however, the moment you lay eyes on your best friend you actually wish it was a horny couple.
You get up in a jump, your stomach sinking and your head spinning. Why does it hurt so much suddenly? It feels like your chest is being torn apart and you can't do a thing to make it better.
Jisung looks worse up close, he has huge bags under his eyes and he's too pale.
You're worried about him, even though you can't have the luxury of that. Not when your insides are all messed up and you want to throw up. You walk past him without saying a word, you can't handle this right now, but he grabs your wrist holding you in place. You don't look at him, staring at the floor trying to get out of his grip.
"I miss you", he says and your heart drops to your stomach. Why is he doing this to you? It's not like being apart from your best friend is fun to you. "Can't you look at me?", he pleads but you can't find the courage to do that yet. "Please", but he sounds so desperate, you force yourself to do it.
You look at him, he's obviously drunk. Who the hell let him drink this much?
"What is it?", you sound more spiteful than you were planning and his eyes widen, releasing your arm from his grasp.
"Do you hate me now?", he asks and you sigh.
"Of course I don't hate you, you're my best friend", you say that but for some reason it doesn't feel right, it doesn't sound like the truth.
"Can't you come back home? I feel like shit everytime I wake up and you're not there"
"I told you I need time", you say, running your hands through your hair.
"Are you going to forget about me by fucking some random dude?", he asks and you glare at him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"I don't understand how that's any of your business"
"It is, because you told me you love me but you act like you never want to see my face again", he scoffs.
You feel mad, what's he trying to say? Should you keep hurting just because you love him?
"I can't sit around forever, waiting for you to look at me", you say and he steps closer to you.
"I'm looking at you right now, I- I'll be good to you, I'll like you back", the moment he finishes saying that, you can't control the tears running through your eyes.
Is that supposed to be good? He would be forced to date you so he could have you close to him?
"Why are you doing this to me?" You ask and he takes a step back startled with you tears, suddenly sobering up, "it's not easy for me to be away from you, you're my best friend, but I do have some bit of dignity left in me and I won't accept less than I deserve, even if that less is the man I love with me", you wipe your tears seeing him step closer, trying to reach your hand and you step away, "don't come close to me right now, I could never stay with you knowing you don't love me, you should know that"
You turn around trying to get away from him but stop on your tracks seeing Hannah, Seungmin, Chan and Changbin right there looking at you awkwardly. Of course, the humiliation is the cherry on the top. You pass through them feeling so embarrassed you want the earth to swallow you.
The ride home is awkward and silent. Hannah and Seungmin keep exchanging looks while you look out the window trying to figure how your life became this mess.
You really should have dated Jeongho when he asked you out in middle school, it was around that time that you realized you liked Han more than just a friend—when Haneul asked to be his date to the school festival and you wanted to punch her so hard. Maybe if you had dated that boy at that time you would have forgotten the feelings you had for your friend, maybe you would have brushed it off as some childhood crush, but no, you rejected Jeongho while Han went with Haneul to the school festival and you third wheeled the whole event earning nasty glances from her every time your best friend played two times the same game so he could win you a plush too.
Back then you still thought everything would be okay, if only you had him everything would be okay.
You start bawling without notice, crying so much you can't even breathe. Seungmin stops the car and Hannah gets to the back, hugging you and caressing your hair while whispering that everything will be fine and you really want to believe her.
You don't know how you got into Seungmin's apartment, you guess he carried you inside after dropping Hannah home but you're not sure. It's sunday so he's not up yet for you to ask and it doesn't actually matter, what matters is the absolutely pathetic scene you made at the party and in the car. You want to bury yourself into a hole and never come back, how the hell are you going to face your friends after they saw you being humiliated by Han like that?
You know he was drunk, of course he was. You know he didn't mean it, he was hurt and drunk and people act on feelings not reason when they are like that. But does he think you have no pride? Does he really think you would date him knowing he doesn't like you back?
It's different when you confessed to him, you knew he didn't like you that way. But if he told you that there was something there, that he was not going to promise you anything but someday he may like you back, that's all you needed to hear. However, that didn't happen. He told you with all the words that he doesn't like that way, that he doesn't feel the same way as you do, there was no room for interpretation, no room for what if's.
You get up, in need to distract yourself. This week is going to fly by, you have tutoring lessons using up all your free time so you just have to get through the day.
There are a lot of messages on your phone, you really don't want to read them because you know that other than Hannah's, it's awkward comforting words from your other friends.
Hannah: call me when you wake up
Hannah: let's go eat something delicious, what do you think? It's on me.
Hannah: are you still not up or are you ignoring me?
You: I just woke up, calm down girl
You: why would I ignore you though? I just have to brush my teeth and eat something then I'll call you.
Binnie: morning babes
Binnie: Hannie is such an asshole
Binnie: I'll date you if you want, you're hot it's a win win for me
You chuckle to Changbin texts, he's so sweet in the weirdest way.
You: I mean, you're hot too
You: I think we'd make an awesome couple
Chan: good morning, Y/N
Chan: we didn't hear anything last night, so please, don't be awkward or embarrassed around us.
You: good morning Channie, I know you heard
You: you should have matched your story with Changbin before texting me though
You: it's okay, alright? Of course I'll be embarrassed for the time being, but we're friends I won't be embarrassed forever.
You leave your phone on the couch and go to the bathroom. You look like shit, smeared makeup, hair disgusting and you're still wearing the same clothes. You turn on the hot water, taking your clothes off and entering the shower, the warmth embracing you as you feel more relaxed.
You put on something comfortable, it's Sunday, you're going to ask Hannah to come by and you're going to order takeout.
You call her number while eating because you know she's anxious.
"Hey babes, good morning", she picks up, cheerful as always.
"Good morning", you say, biting the toast you just made.
"So, what about going out and eating something really good?", she asks.
"Hm, I'm actually not in the mood to go out? Can't you come by, we order something and watch that movie you've been bugging me for the last month?"
"Yeah, sure. We can do that", she answers and you are happy she doesn't sound upset or disappointed. With all the shit you're pulling lately you're scared your friends are going to get tired of your bullshit and stop talking to you. You used to think no one wanted a friend that's always crying and whining, but they showed you that real friends help each other.
"So what time are you gonna come?"
"I will just take a shower and wait for the bus, so in maybe like an hour?", she guesses and you nod forgetting she can't see you.
"Okay, see you then"
You decide to clean the house while waiting, Seungmin is pretty organized and clean so there's nothing too difficult. You'll just wash the dishes and vacuum a little.
Hannah arrives later than she predicted, Seungmin is already up and cleaning his room. He scolded you because it's his day to do the dishes and you shouldn't have done it because it's not fair to you.
You think he's being extra nice to you because of what happened the night before and it's true, he was really scared when you cried in his car.
He has known you for almost five years and he never saw you cry like that, even on the night you came to his house after confessing to Han you didn't cry like that. This time was different, you had a soul crushing cry, he wanted to stop the car and go to the back to hug you the same as Hannah, but he knew you were already being comforted by the perfect person.
Han is his friend, he could never choose between you two. But he couldn't deny it, that was a dick move, how could he ever say that to someone that likes him? He basically told you that he could pretend to like you if you stayed with him.
And of course, Seungmin understands the fear of losing a friend, but doing what he did just increases the chances of you never wanting to see his face again.
You are seated on the couch, watching the movie Hannah is obsessed with at the moment. She already watched it five times alone and asks anyone she can find to watch it again with her, she even repeats some sentences together with the characters.
The pizza you ordered is almost gone, you didn't know you were so hungry until the smell hit your nose. Luckily or thanks to Seungmin and Heeseung, your hangover is not that bad and you want it to stay that way so you keep drinking lots of water.
You got through the day thanks to your friends, they kept you entertained the whole time so you wouldn't overthink or even think about Han.
You are doing that just now, looking at the ceiling in the dark room. You want it all to be a dream, maybe you would wake up tomorrow and still be in middle school, you'd take the opportunity and get over him at that time, that would have spared you of some big problems.
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A/N: So, I don't know how many parts this fic will have. If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback give me motivation to keep writing.
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saerins · 1 year ago
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𝐒𝐀𝐄 // 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒: 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓
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+ sae x f!reader | wc 5k | content: angst to fluff, breakups, exbf!sae, exes to lovers
notes: this is the alternate ending to conversations ! (requested by one of my anons) i’m so sorry this took so long !!! and i’m 100% sure you did not expect me to write anything this long but i’m sorry my hand slipped >_< again … i’m super rusty but i hope you guys still like this ^_^
summary: sae’s willing to throw everything else away to prove that out of everything in his life, you’re the one sure thing he needs. problem is, will you accept him after what he’s done?
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he’s sorry.
he repeats it in his head, over and over again, his fingers almost numb from repeatedly pressing the call button on your number—over and over and over again.
sorry, sorry, sorry.
it’s no use, he knows. it’s why he’s here—why he’s taking a flight, bare-handed, back to japan, back to home, back to you.
“please switch off your phone, sir,” the flight attendant says politely, dutily, as the plane starts to move.
begrudgingly, he resigns, but the moment he starts hearing your voicemail message play, he sighs, speaking into the receiver.
“look, i know i fucked up and it was stupid of me to keep it from you. i’m sorry, okay? and i know you don’t want to speak to me right now but i can’t just sit around and do nothing. i love you, so i’m coming back home, and we’ll talk, and then… i promise you, nothing like this will happen again.”
yes, because he’ll make sure of that. he’ll make sure he doesn’t make decisions like a stupid teenage boy and he’ll make sure to trust you at every turn instead of trying to hide anything from you because you’re right. never in the course of your relationship did you ever doubt sae.
which is a feat. because given his profession and status, any number of girls would’ve been distrusting had they been in your position. not that sae knows, what can he say he knows about girls? nothing, apparently. after today, that much is sure.
as he turns his phone on aeroplane mode, he throws his head back and looks out of the plane window. less than a day till he’ll be there to see you in person. he’s not sure if you’re going to even want to see him, but he’ll try. you deserve that much, at least.
in his head, the same words repeat over and over again.
i’m sorry.
i love you.
you’re all i ever want.
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by the time sae’s plane touches down, it’s night time in japan, close to midnight. you should be resting, probably tired out from crying; he can imagine, because stupid as he may be, he can at least say he knows you this much.
your words can be hard, cold, cruel, but you never are. you’re all soft inside, and you’d rather face your emotions alone than let anyone know how you feel. at least, when those emotions concern sae. you’ll keep them to yourself and keep crying, day after day, until you can’t find it in yourself to care anymore.
passport in one hand, his phone in another, he whisks off toward the taxi stand, mind in a mess because his phone’s now ringing with messages from everyone that isn’t you, probably concerning his absence from the last match of the tournament.
fuck the final match.
you probably thought he’ll play anyway. that he’ll play the match, and only afterwards would he attempt things further with you.
funnily enough, that’s what sae used to think too. before any of this happened. never in his life did he think he’d sooner rather sabotage his own career than lose you. it’s laughable, really, how much he’s so afraid of losing you that it clouds his judgement.
he should’ve been honest with you from the start instead of letting you find out on your own. it was that easy.
“could you step on it, please?” sae sighs, irritated at everything keeping him from you; the distance, the traffic, the stupidity.
the taxi driver narrows his gaze at sae through the rear view mirror, clearly annoyed. “i’d rather not get a ticket,” he replies monotonously, and sae sees that he’s driving at the speed limit. “wouldn’t want to get into an accident, would you?”
well, if he did, that would put a real hamper in his plans, so sae just shuts up and switches off his phone. none of them are you anyway. there’s no point.
as he stares out the window at the now-quiet city, he finds that, for the first time, he’s afraid of losing everything.
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mira [7.28pm]: make sure you get enough rest! bought some soup for you in case you haven’t eaten :)
you look at the time now—12.14am. fuck, did you really sleep the entire day away?
the sliver of moonlight that shines through your blinds is all you see next to the pitter patter of the heavy rain against your window. it’s pathetic, really, for you to take a day off just because of that argument (if you can really call it that) the night before. you couldn’t bring yourself to even watch his game like you’d promised him you always would, once upon a time.
something tells you that he should expect that, though. even without watching his game, you know they’d win. sae has always been magical like that, being the playmaker he is. you imagine he’s probably with his team now, celebrating the win. or are they asleep right now? you never could get used to the time difference. it’s too much of a headache.
aside from mira, you see a voicemail message in your inbox. from sae. it makes your heart skip a beat. are you even ready to hear him and whatever he has to say? it’s why you’d been avoiding him since yesterday—you’re afraid you’re just going to crumble and forgive and get taken advantage of. it threatens to spin the same old story you’ve always known.
you click on it anyway.
“look, i know i fucked up and it was stupid of me to keep it from you. i’m sorry, okay? and i know you don’t want to speak to me right now but i can’t just sit around and do nothing. i love you, so i’m coming back home, and we’ll talk, and then… i promise you, nothing like this will happen again.”
will it though? how much can you trust his words after he already failed once? it makes you think twice, no matter how badly you want to forgive him because you do believe him. it’s most likely nothing, and what he said is most likely true, but it makes you upset that he thought of hiding such a thing from you.
just as you toss your phone aside, you hear a series of urgent knocks on your door, the thunder ruthless outside. slowly, you get up, dragging your feet against the hardwood floors and flinching a little as you hear how loud the banging is. you’re half afraid and half agitated, halfway between hiding yourself under the covers and threatening to kill whoever it is outside.
but then you swing the door open and you’re met with that pair of teal eyes you’ve always loved, his bangs matted against his face as he pants, the rainwater drenching him from head to toe.
“y/n,” he calls out, as though it’s been ages since he last heard from you. it’s only been a day, but it’s enough to make sae feel as though it’s been forever.
you’re a little shocked, your brain trying to process every single question that comes to mind.
is that really him? why isn’t he in spain? if he played the game, the timeline doesn’t add up—how did he get here so fast? is this actually a dream? holy crap it feels so real, though? why isn’t he saying anything?
“s-sae?”
you’re not even sure if you said that out loud—you’re a little too shocked to make sense of anything right now. but the moment the corner of his lips tug upward, revealing that lopsided smile you love, you know it’s real.
he’s here.
“i… came to talk,” is all he can say. he’s tired from running up the stairs. apparently tonight, everything was against him. there was an accident right at the street before the corner of your apartment, so he’d had to end the trip early and start running for it. by the time he got here, the elevators for your block were all undergoing maintenance and unusable. but fuck if twenty flights of stairs are enough to make him turn away.
you’re blinking a lot, as if you find it unbelievable that he’s here in the first place, but you nod anyway and step aside to let him in, wet clothes and all.
“how was work today?”
it’s definitely not what he came here from spain to talk about but you entertain it anyway.
“didn’t go,” you tell him, a little coldly, but you think he deserves that much, at least. “how was the game?”
“don’t know, didn’t go.”
you two are similar that way.
“why not?”
“i had other important things to do.”
“you do? pray tell.”
it’s the first time sae’s hearing you like this and he’s sure now that he never wants to make you like this ever again—going against your nature.
it’s lame, and overused, and you deserve an essay for why he shouldn’t and wouldn’t ever do this again to you but it’s sae and he’s never sure what’s good in these situations so all he can manage to say is, “i’m so sorry.”
you cross your arms as the both of you stand in your dimly-lit living room, the storm raging on outside. it’s not like you don’t know that. that aside, you’re pretty sure he’s the most sorry he’s ever been. and if you were still the same naive girl you used to be ten years ago you probably would’ve forgiven him by now.
but you’re not.
“okay, is that all?”
it’s not what you really want to say. you kind of just want this to be a dream; that picture of him and that random girl with their lips locked, that fight that you had that made you cry to sleep. you wish it was some sort of stupid nightmare that didn’t make him ruin your trust but it did.
sae, on the other hand, seems restless. he’s taken aback, not quite sure how to get through to you because he’s never made a mistake like this before. “just- could you… forgive me?”
the ache you head in his voice breaks you, and you’re sure he can see the tears threatening to spill, but you stand with your choice. “can i? i don’t really know, to be honest,” you respond, voice soft and low, not quite daring to meet his eyes in case you falter.
the contrast between how you were and how you are kicks him in the gut and he has no one to blame but himself. he doesn’t want to, but he can sense where this is going. he’s not stupid, he just… doesn’t want to believe it.
“please… don’t do this?” sae swallows the lump in his throat, the foreign way his heartbeat quickens out of fear stumping him. there’s probably more he should say, but maybe that just wouldn’t be enough anymore. his words can’t find him and he can’t find it in himself to reach out to you. not when he realises you out of all people hate the most for having to do this.
if you just blindly follow your heart, you’d leap in his arms right now, fuck how soaked he is. because you still love him. you know that, and you think maybe he knows it too, but judging by the perplexed look on his face, he probably doesn’t realise it. that’s why your brain does the deciding for you. it had already made its choice the moment you saw that picture, the moment you saw the headlines on that gossip rag.
“i… think we should break up, sae.”
before today, if you’d told yourself that one day, you’d say these words, you wouldn’t believe it. but here you are, breaking up with the love of your life.
sae is just standing in front of you, staring at you, the happy picture of the two of you during your second year anniversary hanging on your wall haunting him this very second. the command he gave his assistant to help him get that ring for you sending him into the pits of despair. he’s so stunned he doesn’t know what to say or do.
“you’re… serious?”
there’s no expression in his eyes. they’re just dull, and dark, and nothing like how you’re used to.
this time, you’re the one trying to force the words out of your mouth, calmly, because you’re afraid that the tears will just spill out. “you’re… you’re the one who told me to be kinder to myself, right?”
sae chuckles softly, helplessly, as he realises you take every word he says to heart.
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EIGHT YEARS AGO
it was beyond him why you let yourself be subjected to this. nobody was a saint, but surely you deserved better than to be treated like trash?
sae understood a little of where you were coming from. it was hard to let go of a three-year relationship, but having you visit him crying in the middle of the night wasn’t exactly what he would condone.
“you can do better than him, you know that right?”
the words slipped out of his mouth before he knew it. he’d once sworn that he wouldn’t meddle in your relationship, that he’d let you figure it out on your own, but your heartaches were getting too often those days that sae just couldn’t hold it in anymore.
it probably wasn’t the best thing to say to you, considering how you were bawling your eyes out and staining his entire jersey with your tears, but sae was never one to filter his words.
“everyone says that.”
which tells sae you didn’t believe that.
“which means there’s some truth there,” he sighed, leaning back against the couch as you continued to bury your head in his chest. sae saw rin from the corner of the room, peaking out of the hallway and gave him a quick wave to signal him to leave them alone.
“i… don’t know what to do.”
you rarely ever did. having been your friend for the past four years before this taught sae two things: one, you gave your all for your relationship, and two, you were one of the kindest people he’s ever known. (and by extension, it simply meant you knew what had to be done, but you refused to do it.)
sae took a deep breath, eyes gazing up at the ceiling before he resumes, “i don’t know why you let people treat you like that.”
you stayed quiet, sniffling, though it’s getting softer now, so sae continues.
“you know, you’re one of the nicest people i know,” sae told you, fingers absentmindedly stroking your hair—the way he always wanted to but never let himself admit. “which is why it kinda sucks that you’re so stupid to let yourself be hurt by that asshole over and over again.”
the both of you chuckled at that. sae was glad to know you understood he meant only well.
“stop… letting people hurt you and then letting them get away like that, okay?” he said it softly, but you definitely caught it. “be kinder to yourself, fucks sake.”
he felt your fingers curl, gripping at his shirt as you stopped yourself from crying. you looked up at him that night, smiling as your tears dried, and sae remembered telling himself that he’d never want to be the reason you had to feel upset.
“when you say it like that, how can i say no?” you joked, laughing, wiping the last of your tears away. “besides, even if i was still being stupid, i’d always have you with me, right?”
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sae remembers.
he remembers not answering you, but he remembers thinking yes, always. and he has a feeling you knew back then too, that sae would always be there for you regardless.
only if it’s you.
maybe even back then, you already knew how he felt for you. and you would always listen to him. you’d always believe in him. now he feels even more stupid for everything that transpired. with his words thrown back at him, he finds himself speechless.
“you’re right,” he replies, voice hoarse, his gaze dropping to the floor. sae was being stupid, and he’s crazy if he thinks he’ll be let off that easy.
you’re sniffling a little, and he does you the courtesy of not looking at you even though you’re already turning away. “i’ll mail you your stuff.”
“it’s fine, i’ll get rin to help me take ‘em.”
it’s a diplomatic breakup. polite, nothing out of line, just two adults deciding that maybe now just isn’t the time.
after a long pause, sae gets the guts to speak. “you know you’re the only one for me, right?” because he feels like maybe you’d been doubting it recently and he doesn’t want you to feel worthless. maybe it has the adverse effect and maybe it’s selfish but he needs you to hear that.
you don’t acknowledge it, and you barely acknowledge him, even as he turns to walk out the door. this time, you’re the one not giving the answer, but sae feels like he knows how you feel anyway. you need time away from him. a proper break from him. so sae leaves wordlessly, clinging on to hope that maybe one day, he’ll be deserving of you again.
the moment sae closes the door, you fall to the floor, wailing into your cushion pillow, having one of the worst nights of your life.
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THE NEXT WEEK
annoying jr [10.48am]: oi stupid, i’m here.
—followed by an incessant ringing of your doorbell.
when you groan and swing the front door open, you’re greeted by a smirking rin. at least he hasn’t changed one bit since you’d known him when he was a kid. well, at least not to you.
“did you have to ring it so obnoxiously?” you whine, plopping down on your couch, burying your head in the leather seats.
rin shuts the door behind him, scoffing. “you’re the one who always used to wake up late,” he quips, rolling his eyes (you don’t have to see it, you just know how he’s going to react).
“and someone was always the third party on dates,” you snap back, sticking your tongue out at him.
he deadpans, clicking his tongue in annoyance. “hey, wasn’t my fault my stupid brother kept using me as an excuse to go out.”
right, because back then his parents were a lot more strict than they are now, back before they didn’t know you.
realising that the mood had grown a little somber, rin clears his throat, changing the subject. “how’s work so far?”
you chuckle under your breath, finding it funny how both the brothers’ go-to question is to ask about your work. though, they’ve never been that good in conversations so you can’t blame them.
“it’s fine, promotion period’s coming up so i’m preparing for that,” you respond lacklustrely, getting up off the couch, dragging your feet to your bedroom before resurfacing just ten seconds later, carrying a box full of sae’s things.
it’s full of his clothes, care products and the like, but mostly clothes, because you’d realised you liked to steal his jerseys, wear them like they’re your own, but mostly because they smell like him, remind you of him when he’s not physically around and makes you feel better.
doesn’t make you feel good when you have to pack them up, though. you cried all the way again. pathetically. but rin doesn’t have to know, so you keep up your unbothered facade.
rin takes the box from you, thankfully not mentioning his brother. “hope you get that promotion then,” he says politely, though you sense he might have something else to say that he doesn’t know if he should.
you sigh, because sometimes rin looks like a neglected younger brother and you don’t have the heart to ignore him like sae does sometimes. “go ahead, say what’s on your mind.”
it takes just a moment of hesitation before rin heeds your words. “did you see sae’s interview last night?”
part of you doesn’t want to think about anything related to sae, but most of you still misses him, so it’s a canon event that you still look out for any and every news of him. it’s sad and pathetic and that’s why you make extra care not to mention any of that to anyone.
“nope, was it about their recent win?”
you try to go on as per normal, like sae isn’t just the love of your life that you still wanted.
“mhm.” rin, at least, doesn’t tease you about it. whether he means to or not, you’re grateful for that. “they asked him, though. about that game.” (but of course, you knew that already.)
ah, that game. the game that he abandoned to come find you. the game that led up to your breakup. the game that sae probably had to pay dearly for for knowingly ditching.
“oh, i see. what about it?”
a resigned sigh leaves rin’s lips as he looks at you with the full sincerity of a younger brother concerned with his older brother’s fuckup. “he… really loves you, you know? he’s just… stupid.”
you snort at his last remark, both of you breaking out into a small laughter. it’s bittersweet, thinking about how this might be the last time you see rin, but you’ll probably get over it. you’ll get over this, and sae, and move on someday—now if only you could get yourself to want that.
“i know,” you mutter quietly, deciding that it’s best not to speak too much about it. it’s dumb, considering everything that happened, but his words made you feel relieved, even if just for a second.
just before he leaves, you give him one last hug. “thanks, rin.”
THREE MONTHS LATER
“please don’t give me another heart attack like last time.”
sae huffs, annoyed, although he knows he probably deserves that. his poor assistant went through hell trying to appease everyone on the team due to sae’s last stunt. luckily, there are exceptions made for the best soccer player on the team, so no punishment was dire enough that he had to get kicked.
“i’m just going out for some air.” sae leaves before his assistant can get any words out, entirely too tired today to listen to anything anyone else has to say.
besides, today is a special day.
the moment he’s out of earshot, he calls one of the only contacts on his phone. for some reason, his heart is thumping wildly and his fingers are fiddling with the hem of his windbreaker. the weather is nearing negatives but somehow, he doesn’t feel it.
“hello?”
sae nearly gets a heart attack of his own when a deep, low voice is what he hears, until he realises that he recognises it.
“rin, what’re you doing there?”
he can make out the sadistic chuckle from halfway across the world. “what, disappointed?” (if sae could punch him right now he would.) “relax, we’re just at her birthday dinner and she’s busy,” he explains, though sae doesn’t nearly care about any of that other than the fact that he wants to talk to you.
“where’s y/n?”
“she’s the birthday girl, people are lining up just to take pictures with her,” rin raises his voice over the background, and sae’s never been more frustrated. “she’s taking pics with some handsome guy right now, and he’s got his hands around her waist,” rin whistles right after, and sae can just sense his smugness through the phone.
whether what his brother said was true or not, sae is in no position to be jealous anyway. (even though he is and he’s sporting an unamused frown that’s enough to scare the living daylights out of anyone watching him.)
“wish her happy birthday for me then.”
rin snorts. “sure. disappointed you didn’t get to hear her—” sae hangs up before he can be subjected to anymore of his brother’s nonsense. all he really wanted was to just hear your voice, but he won’t be greedy.
staying friends was already a miracle. that’s only possible because you have a heart of gold, and he knows that if he ever pushes it too much, he might just risk losing you forever and he knows he can’t have that. so for now, this’ll do.
he’ll wait, no matter how long he has to.
later that night, when the moon is high up in spain, sae receives a notification from you. there, attached in your thread is an audio message.
“itoshi sae… thank you.”
the little laugh you leave at the end is enough to make him smile at his phone. he counts his blessings for you, and starts counting down to the days he has left in spain. if he wants you, he needs to go all in.
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ONE YEAR LATER
“you ready yet? i’m at your lobby.”
sae can just barely make out your panicked state from the other line. you’re late, and you know he’s fine with waiting, but because you’re a perfectionist, you really really don’t want him to have to.
“yeah, just gimme like, five minutes!” which sae knows translates to i actually need twenty but i’ll rush. there’s a certain satisfaction it gives him—knowing that he knows you in these ways that nobody else can.
“take your time, i have to pump some gas anyway, running low,” he tells you, an excuse which you accept right away because it’s convenient.
sae doesn’t even need any gas. it’s full, so he parks his car by the entrance and waits inside, turning up the air conditioning because he knows you’ll be sweating a little by the time you inevitably still choose to rush down.
it’s exactly one year since the last time he wished you happy birthday (through rin). and this year, he’s happy enough he gets to actually take you out. the past year’s been filled of sae restarting the relationship from ground zero—back to being friends and gradually coming back again to where you are now, dating. sure, it’s taxing having to do it all over again, but he’d do this however many times you want him to.
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SIX MONTHS AGO
“hmmm, i dunno how to feel, i kinda like this.”
sae had been calling you up often, and he feels good inside knowing that you might miss him as much as he misses you.
“kinda like what?” he asked, wishing that he could see your expression right now.
“kinda like you chasing me all over again,” you giggled, shameless with your words. “what if i just never agree to be your girlfriend again? what if i just make you chase after me forever?”
he knew for a fact that you weren’t that sadistic, but even so, his answer would still be the same. “then i’ll stick in this phase with you. forever.” although that would render the ring that he bought for you useless.
“oh really?”
sae hummed in faux contemplation. “nah, maybe not. maybe i’ll just ditch you and run off with ryusei or something.”
he got a laugh out of you for that.
“ryusei? not even some other girl, but ryusei?”
sae chuckled—he still remembered his mistake. and he’d never put you in a position to feel that way again. even if you two were just joking around.
“y/n, there’s no one else except you.” he was rarely ever serious like this, especially considering how you bantered as friends, but sometimes, he knew he had to. nowadays, more than anything, he just wanted to know that you had no doubts about how he felt for you.
you didn’t give any response to that, but considering how you started to ease up around him even more after that, sae felt like maybe there was a solid hope there of reviving this after all.
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the knock on his window brings him back into the present, your pretty face doing wonders in lighting up his mood.
as you get into the passenger seat, sae steals a glance at you from head to toe—you’re so beautiful and so worth the wait and you’ll always be.
“so, where are you taking me today, mr itoshi sae?”
he leans back against his seat, tilting his head as he looks at you, feigning contemplation. “depends, ms l/n y/n, do you trust me?”
you press your lips into a line, the corners threatening to tug upwards. you’re so adorable that sae’s actually going to go insane but he dons a straight face like he always has because letting you know the power you have over him is more than you need to know.
“i think it’d be a little weird if i couldn’t trust my boyfriend.”
suddenly it’s like time stands still and sae’s hands are stuck on the steering wheel and he’s left staring into space wondering if he heard you right. boyfriend? he turns around to look at you, teal eyes searching your own for answers but all he sees is a smirk on your face—you definitely know the power you have over him.
“wow, want me that bad, huh?” you joke, giggling as you tell him to hit the gas. “i… wasn’t kidding though.”
and as he pulls out of the parking lot, he thinks about the little velvet box that sits in his jacket pocket, thinks about the fact that he’s one of the luckiest people in the world thanks to you. heat rises to his cheeks, and he has to look away from you.
“you know one day you’re still gonna be mrs itoshi, right?”
this time, you laugh—but not like you think it’s a joke, more like the kind where you think was there even any other option? and even then, you offer him assurance.
“there’s nothing i want more.”
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pinkeoni · 5 months ago
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Will is Going to Die by Sacrificing Himself
...and come back to life. To me, it seems pretty obvious, but I'll explain why.
Will has been characterized as someone who puts others before himself since season one, even if it means costing him his life. The entire series starts off with Will casting fireball instead of protection during their Dungeons & Dragons game, putting his character in danger for the sake of the rest of the party.
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This self-sacrificial nature is echoed in season two, but two a much more extreme end, when Will instructs everyone to close the gate to stop the Mind Flayer, despite knowing that doing so will kill him.
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While we don't see this same self-sacrifice from Will in seasons three and four, we do see two related characters make their own sacrifices, possibly hinting at Will's future fate.
First we have the other character named William, Billy, sacrifice himself at the end of season three in order to stop the meat flayer.
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Then in season four, we have Eddie sacrifice himself while the same song that played for Will after he came back to life in season one plays in the background— "When It's Cold I'd Like to Die" by Moby.
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There are also little ways that we are told/shown of Will's selfless nature, such as giving a girl his tonka truck because she was sad, or giving Mike his painting under El's name. While this trait could be seen as admirable, I think it will ultimately be his undoing.
But why would Will need to sacrifice himself?
Well, we know that despite all of this time, Will still holds a connection to Vecna, and likely to the Mind Flayer and the Upside Down himself. Putting a stop to all of these things is going to be intrinsic to Will's arc next season.
I don't know how many people know about Noah's letterboxd, but he has been rewatching the Harry Potter movies.
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Perhaps for personal enjoyment, or perhaps to study for his character?
The comparisons between Will/Vecna and Harry/Voldemort have been made before, and the Duffers are derivative of other sources if anything.
I think that this could be likened to a horcrux situation. At the end of season four, we saw Vecna be totally flambéd by the older teens, and yet, he's still kicking, and Will is the one to tell us this.
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If the brain dies the body dies, but also, could the brain latch on to another body in order to keep it alive? Similar to how Harry had to die so that Voldemort could be defeated, I believe Will might have to die (at least temporarily) in order to take down Vecna/MF/UD.
We know that the show is bringing back "Should I Stay or Should I Go," which is going to prompt an important question that Will needs to find the answer to, should he stay or should he go? While this could also relate to his romantic endeavors for the season, I think that the song could be alluding to Will's choice to sacrifice himself in order to save everyone else.
What I think will probably happen is this: At some point in the season, Will is going to learn what has to happen, and he is going to go off to sacrifice himself without telling anyone so no one can stop him. (I'm guessing that Will can't just off himself, there's probably a specific way that it needs to be done).
Something I realized while making this post is that Mike is always the one who figures out what needs to be done, or brings up Will's sacrifice to others. My guess is that Mike is going to find out what Will is up to, and try to stop him. Emphasis on try, because I think this death is inevitable. However, bringing the show back full circle to season one (and because ST can never keep a main character dead), he will come back to life.
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avatar-anna · 1 year ago
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It's Hard When We Argue
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You quietly walked downstairs into the kitchen, a fuzzy blanket wrapped tightly around your shoulders. You felt hungover, like your entire body had been put through the ringer even though you hadn't had a sip of alcohol last night. For a moment, your chest tightened with anticipation, not sure if you were dreading or hoping Harry would be in the kitchen. He wasn't, but from the kitchen window, you could see the back of his head as he sat on the back porch.
Your mind returned to last night briefly, all the harsh words you shouted at each other and the tears that were shed. You'd never felt so angry and frustrated and hurt in your life, at least not with Harry. He was the one person you could always feel safe and comfortable with. You knew couples fought, you knew that disagreements happened, but that wasn't you and Harry. Maybe you were naive enough to think that you and Harry were so in sync that you would never argue, or at least have a huge blowout argument like the one you had last night, but it had been so smooth sailing since you got together.
Before you went outside, you fixed up two cups of coffee, making sure one of them was the way Harry liked it. You took both of them outside, keeping the blanket wrapped around your shoulders. Harry didn't even look up when the glass door opened and closed. He's still mad, you thought. He's so angry he won't even look at me.
"Coffee?" you asked, voice scratchy and raw.
"Mm. Sure, thanks."
Tears welled in your eyes. Here you were, trying to extend an olive branch and talk about your fight last night, and he wouldn't even look at you. Harry stayed sitting on the porch swing, one hand covering his mouth as he looked out at the yard in front of him. Just days ago, you were daydreaming about playing with future kids in that same backyard, and now...Now you didn't know what the future held.
"I think we should talk—"
"Y/n, I really don't think that I can right now," Harry said, running a tired hand over his face. He had bags under his eyes, and his facial hair was more grown out and unkempt than usual. He looked exhausted. And upset. And you didn't know what to do to bridge the yawning gap between you.
"O—Okay," you said, trying to hide the fact that you were on the verge of tears. "Are you—"
"I'm gonna go for a run," he said quickly, pushing off on his knees and standing up.
Harry turned and saw you standing with the two cups of coffee in your hands, one of which he had still yet to take. His face softened a fraction then, his hand reaching out like he wanted to rest it on your shoulder, but he stopped halfway before walking around you and heading out. You flinched when the door slammed shut, tears finally leaking out of your eyes.
Everything was so messed up. You hated this icy tension that was growing between you and Harry, and you worried you wouldn't be able to fix things. Harry was the stubborn type, he always had been, but you'd never seen him be so cold toward you. It killed you.
With Harry out of the house, all you were able to do was think about the argument.
It started out so small, so inconsequential that you almost couldn't understand how you ended up here in the first place.
Harry had been coming home late recently, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but now that he was back from tour, you thought you would get to spend your nights together. But he kept coming home late, and you were never much of a night owl, so it just felt like he was doing it on purpose. You missed him, that was all. All you wanted was to spend time with your boyfriend. To talk about your day and ask him about his and cuddle up together in bed.
"Are you avoiding me?" you asked when he came home late again. Perhaps it wasn't the best way to broach the subject, but you made a mistake by scrolling on Twitter where rumors always ran rampant, so you were a little more upset than normal.
Harry obviously didn't respond well to the harsh accusations you were throwing at him, despising how you jumped to the absolute worst conclusions. He accused you of not trusting him even though you did, but he wouldn't listen, and you couldn't find a way to say you just wanted him around more, not when anger had sunk so deep in the heat of the argument. The argument devolved from there until you went to your separate corners—you to the bedroom and Harry downstairs, presumably on the couch. There were so many cruel accusations thrown around, and so many more things left unsaid, but maybe last night had gone too far. Maybe this was it, and Harry was avoiding the most difficult conversation of all—the breakup conversation.
So you did what you should've done last night. You were going to avoid it altogether.
You anxiously cleaned up around the house for a while, scrubbing down countertops and vacuuming floors and folded laundry, tears occasionally leaking out of your eyes the longer Harry stayed out. You knew he could run for ages, especially when he was in a mood, but you couldn't sit around and wait for him to come back and tell you he wanted to take a break or break up or pick up right where you left off the night before.
Quickly and with shaking hands, you went upstairs and began to pack, tossing things in your overnight bag haphazardly. Some of it could've been yours, and some of it might've been Harry's, you weren't really paying attention, you just needed to get out for a while. If Harry could run, so could you.
Your last step was slipping into your shoes, which you kept by the front door. You were balancing on one foot trying to get your shoe on when the front door opened. Harry breezed in, running shorts high up on his thighs and baseball cap pulled low over his eyes, which were covered by sunglasses. He was so focused on whatever was playing in his airpods that he nearly bumped into you.
"Sorry, I wasn't—Where are you going?" Harry asked, eyeing the bag at your feet.
"I think I'm gonna stay at my mom's for a few days," you said, picking the bag up and hiking it over your shoulder.
"What—Why?"
He looked frantic as he took a step toward you, but you took one back. "It's clear to me that you need space, so I'm just going to step back and let you—"
"See, you're doing it again. You're assuming," Harry said, taking his hat off to run his hand through his hair. "Y/n, if we are going to be in a relationship together, I need you to talk to me, not just assume what I'm thinking."
"I—I'm sorry," you said, realizing he was right. Your assumptions were what got you into this mess. It was so easy for you to get lost in your own head sometimes. "I said things that I shouldn't have last night, and this morning you couldn't even look at me, and I—"
"Y/n," Harry said, effectively cutting you off. He took his sunglasses off, and you got a good look at his eyes for the first time since last night. They were red and watery, like he'd spent his entire run crying. Seeing him so upset made your heart squeeze with guilt. You didn't mean for all of this to happen, but you didn't know how to find your way out of it, either. "I hate that we fought last night. You're not the only one who said shitty things. I—I feel awful. I couldn't stand to see you so upset but I was still a little frustrated from last night and I didn't want the first thing I said to you this morning be something that would lead to another argument. I'm sorry that you thought I wanted you to leave. I don't."
"You promise?"
Harry stepped toward you again and this time you didn't step back, letting him take your face in his hands. "I know I got defensive and things got out of hand, but I heard you, and you were right. Not about the avoiding you part, but I...have been absent, and I'm sorry for that too. I just...you know I hate the cheating accusations. I would never cheat on you, Y/n. Ever."
You nodded, knowing he was right. Accusing Harry of cheating was a low blow, one you resorted to so he would hurt the way you did. He'd called you insecure and needy and that you weren't his mother and didn't need to report to you about his whereabouts all the time. It made your blood boil, seeing as all you wanted was to spend quality time with your boyfriend after so much time apart. So you went for the jugular. You hated yourself for using an insecurity he confided in you about against him, hated that it had its desired effect.
Nodding, you said, "B—But why have you been gone so much?" you asked. "I thought after the tour was over you would...be around more."
Harry took you by the hand and led you away from the door, taking your bag from you and tossing it away unceremoniously and muttering about you leaving being ridiculous. It made you giggle, which felt good after a night of feeling absolutely awful. You thought he was going to lead you to the couch, but he brought you over to the kitchen instead, taking you by surprise when he hoisted you up on the counter.
"I haven't cheated on you, I swear," Harry repeated. "I've been—I can't tell you what I've been doing, but I need you to trust that it's all been for a good reason. Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me, my love?"
You shook your head. Now you were dying to know what he was up to all the nights he stayed out late, but despite the argument last night, you trusted Harry.
"I don't like it when we fight," you said softly, playing with the pearl ring on his finger. "Can we agree to never do that again?"
Harry grinned before leaning forward to kiss you. Your arms immediately wrapped around his neck to hold him close. When he pulled back, he kissed the top of your head, then your cheek.
"I can't promise we'll never fight again, but I promise to fight and make up with you for the rest of my life. How's that sound?"
Your ears perked up, your thumb rubbing over his cheek. Both of you looked like wrecks, but you didn't want to run from him, and he wasn't running away from you, either. It was a bad night. Maybe there would be more, but Harry was right. If you had to argue every once in a while with someone, it might as well be him.
"You don't really think I'm needy, do you?" you asked. It was the last wrinkle you needed to smoothe over before everything was set to rights.
Harry shook his head, picking you up off the counter and heading for the stairs. "If anyone's needy in this relationship, it's me."
"I think it's safe to say we're both pretty dependent," you mused, enjoying being so close to him after a night apart. He was a little sweaty from his run, but you didn't mind. You just wanted to feel his body against yours.
He set you down in the master bathroom connected to your shared bedroom, turning the water on in the shower while you quickly got undressed and helped him out of his clothes. His chest was rising and falling rapidly as your fingers traced the hard planes of his stomach, admiring all the curves and ridges and smiling when goosebumps appeared under his skin.
Harry leaned down to kiss you, but you stopped him just before he could, placing your fingers over his lips. "I know you said it was for a good reason, and I believe you, but you—are you able to come home earlier? At least just a few days out of the week? I—I miss falling asleep next to you."
"Of course," he said. A look flashed across his face that you couldn't read, but it was gone before you could make sense of it, replaced by a cheeky grin as he pulled you into the shower with him.Trust me, by the time the day is over, you're gonna be sick of me."
Giddiness spread through your whole body, replacing every horrible and awful feeling that had lingered from the night before. With one hand on his chest, you pushed Harry up against the cool tile wall of the shower, reaching up on your toes to kiss him hard. The water made your bodies slippery, and the steam made you both a little breathless, but you didn't care, you just wanted to feel him, breathe him in deep, never let him go.
This secret Harry was keeping from you would most likely gnaw at the back of your mind until he eventually told you, but you would do your best to respect his wishes, to trust him like you said you did. Right now, you were content with the fact that despite the fight, he heard you, and you understood his side. That seemed like a good enough conclusion for you.
And maybe a little arguing wasn't so bad if each one ended just like this.
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roll-of-royces · 8 months ago
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HC: The LaDS Find You as a Neko
This is a request I ran into by @chryssikyu and as I love a good Neko I had fun!
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Xavier considers himself to be fairly prepared for the world at large. He's not so simple as most people seem to think he is, but this he did not expect. 
You are asleep, curled up on top of the covers instead of beneath them. That's not the unusual part, the two of you are avid nap takers. Many afternoons have been dedicated to curling up together and falling asleep in the sun. 
This is different. This is different for several reasons. One, you're napping in nothing but a thin white nightdress that barely comes to the mid-thigh. Two, you have two large fluffy looking cat ears. Three, those ears are accompanied by a lush tail that drapes over your thigh as you slumber. 
The fur has a soft pale white sheen. He has no idea how this could have happened, and he's seen so much in his life. Xavier approaches, steps light, as if he is approaching a threat instead of the light of his life. His hand reaches out, tentatively brushing the tip of your new ear. It twitches, not a trick. 
He can't help himself, he sinks onto the edge of the bed, you huff but don't awaken. Before he knows it he has his hand around your tail, dragging downward to feel the soft warmth. You open your eyes, and those too have changed. Your pupils are different, cat like, though still your color. 
"Do you understand me?" He asks carefully. 
You hum, yawn again, and rest your head on his lap, "Xavier." Your voice is the same, still rough with sleep. Still you, just you a little different. 
"What happened?" His hand comes to curl into your hair, it feels softer than it was before. It's nice.
"Dunno." You close your eyes, apparently content to go back to sleep. "Missed you." 
He smiles, because that never gets old to hear. You lean into his hand, arms curling around his waist. Well, he could nap. 
"Move over." He murmurs and you do as asked, knowing well enough he will join you. You'll figure this out in due time. For now he curls atop the bed, with you pressed along his side, tail twitching contentedly as he holds you to him. 
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It's not entirely uncommon for Zayne to find you in his office, especially since the two of you started openly stating you're a couple. Sometimes you drop in to see him, sometimes you're only there long enough to leave take-out on his desk before you're gone again. 
Regardless seeing you is always a pleasant surprise. He says your name in greeting, but you keep looking out the window. You're in a hoodie, hood up. It might be Xaviers'. Zayne chews on the jealousy of that for a moment, before letting out a slow breath through his nose. 
You must have been cold. He'll give you his jacket to wear home. You don't look up when he enters, eyes still pinned on something out of the window. He takes another step and sees Clopidogrel hovering on the windowsill. "We should set out some more nuts for him." Zayne says conversationally, walking toward his desk to get the bag he has there for this very purpose. 
Once he's by his desk he gets a view of your face, somewhat shadowed by the hood. There is enough light to see your eyes, the unnatural shape of them. Zayne freezes, scanning you over for injuries. Bag forgotten he heads right for you, watching you track the resident squirrel. 
His hand comes to your chin, pulling your face up to look at him. A doctor's gaze that floods concern through him, he pushes the hood back and is met with twitching fluffy black ears. His thumb pulls your lip up to see the sharpness of some of your teeth. He's heard of this condition only vaguely. 
Harmless, short term. Like the common cold, the tightness in his shoulders relaxes. "Are you alright?" 
Your eyes continue to track the squirrel, "Yes." 
"You can't have him." Zayne informs you, amusement coloring his tone. He'll need to take the rest of the day off at least, make sure you're safe. Your impulsivity will be up, you're likely to do something foolish. 
"Want him." 
He reaches out and pets the top of your head, scratching at your scalp with his nails to distract you from the prey you are being denied. It works, your eyes slip closed, and you lean into his hand. 
"We'll get you some food on the way home." He promises. "Come on, kitten." 
It's the first time he's used the term of endearment but Zayne thinks it might stick. 
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Rafayel juggles the bags over one arm as he pushes his studio door open with his foot, calling out as soon as he's through, "If only my bodyguard came with me today. These bags are so heavy!" He gets the door closed, frowning when you don't call out in reply or approach. 
Depositing the bags onto the kitchen counter Rafayel goes off in search of you. He doesn't expect what he finds. You're on the balcony outside of your shared bedroom, in nothing but one of his shirts. Which normally he would not mind, not one bit. 
However. You have a pair of purple ears and a tail to match, a tail that is moving on its own, flicking from side to side. Oh no, oh no. You've got that weird cat sickness. He's read about it, he even had a nightmare once. 
Rafayel rushes toward you, colliding with the balcony railing to look at you. And when you turn to him, ears pivoting, eyes strange he doesn't know what to do. "Are you ... are you alright?" 
You nod, and then step into his arms. He flounders momentarily before he remembers this is you, cat or not, this is you. And he is safe. He is safe. 
His arms wrap around you, as you tuck yourself against his chest. "Play with me, I'm bored." 
Rafayel relaxes further hearing you sound normal, if a bit needy. He likes when you're needy, he likes the fact you need him. "What do you want to do? Not eat me I hope." 
Your eyes spark with mirth, and then you sink your teeth into the side of his neck. He squeaks, but you let go and it didn't really hurt. 
"I'm not on the menu." He scolds. "Find another fish to chew on." 
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pretzel-box · 3 months ago
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Hallow! I saw that you write angst for Pressure and I have an angsty request in mind (♥´∀`)/
Can I request sebby with a reader (doesn't need to be romantic) that's another test subject like him but with the sole purpose of having rapid regeneration (can regenerate their arms or even the lower half of their body) + can't be killed with brute force.
They're relatively weak in terms of strength (like average human strength) compared to the rest of the creatures in the HB + they're clumsy and cowardly which annoys sebastian.
After being brutally 'killed' countless times by anglers, wall dwellers, accidents, or whatnot they ultimately couldn't take it anymore and breaks down with sebastian reluctantly or trying to calm them down.
Ehe that's it for the request!! If you don't accept the request it's totally fine! Either way I hope you have a great day/night (*・∀・*)V
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Tags: Mention of previous deaths, anxiety attacks, comfort, Sebastian is mean, gn!reader
Words: 1,1k
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Sebastian prowled the dark hallways of the facility, his senses sharp and alert. The place reeked of damp metal and fear, a maze of endless corridors and hidden dangers. This labyrinth-like part of the building was where they kept them—test subjects like him, twisted by their experiments, forced to endure unimaginable pain and suffering. Most were broken shells of who they once were, but some, like you, were still holding on, trying to survive in this nightmarish existence.
He heard a soft sound behind him—a faint, hurried shuffle of footsteps. He paused, turning his head slightly. There you were, a few paces behind him, your eyes wide and frantic as you glanced around, clearly terrified. He got you during the lockdown, not knowing what made you special till Pandemonium got you badly. Then he figured out your prized ability, turning you into a life bait for him to distract monsters.
Sebastian rolled his eyes. He wasn’t sure if it was your clumsiness or your cowardice that annoyed him more.
“Keep up,” he growled over his shoulder, his voice a low, rumbling hiss that echoed off the cold walls. “And stop making so much noise. You’ll attract them.”
You nodded quickly, trying to step more quietly but stumbling over your own feet. You had always been clumsy, your movements awkward and hesitant. You were nothing like the other test subjects—those grotesque monsters with their freakish strength and horrifying abilities. You were just… normal. Well, except for the fact that you could regenerate almost any injury in a matter of seconds.
Sebastian watched as you tried to steady yourself, a small sigh escaping his lips. You were weak in every way that mattered here—physically frail, easily frightened. But he couldn’t deny that your ability was useful. He had seen you get torn apart by Anglers, crushed by falling debris, even once sliced in half by a ventilation blade. And every time, no matter how gruesome the sudden action was, you came back, good as new, your body knitting itself back together like nothing had happened.
But the downside was that no matter how brutal your death, no matter how agonizing the pain, you would always regenerate. Always come back, only to face it all over again.
“Sebastian, wait,” you whispered, your voice trembling slightly as you glanced around the dark corridor. “I… I don’t think we should go this way. I heard something. Something big.”
“Of course you did,” Sebastian muttered under his breath. He knew you were scared. You were always scared. But in this place, fear was a weakness, and weakness could get you killed. “We don’t have time for this,” he snapped. “Stay close, and keep quiet.”
You swallowed hard, nodding again as you followed him down the hallway, your hands trembling at your sides. Every shadow seemed to stretch and move, every distant sound a threat. You had been killed so many times now, in so many horrific ways, that the fear of dying again was starting to consume you. The pain, the terror—it was becoming too much to bear.
Sebastian could sense your growing panic, could hear your breathing quickening with each step. He clenched his jaw. He didn’t have time to babysit you. But something in him—something he couldn’t quite understand—kept him from abandoning you. Maybe it was pity. Maybe it was something else.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash up ahead, followed by a series of guttural, inhuman growls. You froze, your eyes widening in terror.
“Sebastian…” you whimpered, taking a step back. “Please… I can’t… I can’t do this anymore.”
He turned to you, his expression hard. “You don’t have a choice,” he said bluntly. “None of us do, quit whining. Now keep moving.”
But you didn’t move. You just stood there, your whole body shaking as a certain fear paralyzed you from the very inside. And then, to his surprise, you sank to your knees, your face contorted in anguish.
“I can’t… I can’t keep doing this,” you choked out, tears streaming down your face as you start hyperventilating. “I’ve been… I’ve been killed so many times… I can’t take it anymore. I can’t… I can’t keep coming back, only to die again and again.”
Sebastian stared at you, his mind racing. He wasn’t good at this—at comforting people, at dealing with emotions. But seeing you like this, so broken, so utterly defeated… it stirred something in him. Something he hadn’t felt in a long time.
He knelt down beside you, his movements slow and deliberate, as if he was afraid he might scare you even more. “Hey,” he said quietly, his voice softer than before. “Look at me.”
You didn’t move, didn’t even seem to hear him. You were lost in your own misery, your own despair. He reached out, placing a hand on your shoulder. You flinched at his touch, but you didn’t pull away.
“I know it’s hard,” he said, his tone more gentle now, almost hesitant. “I know it feels like there’s no end to this… but you’re still here. You’re still alive. That means something.”
You looked up at him, your eyes red and puffy from crying. “But what’s the point?” you whispered, your voice barely more than a breath. “What’s the point of surviving if all I do is suffer? If all I do is die over and over again?”
Sebastian felt a pang of guilt at your words. He had been through his own share of torment, had seen things that would haunt him forever. But at least he could fight back. At least he could make them pay for what they did to him. You didn’t have that luxury. You were stuck in this endless cycle of pain and death, with no way to escape it.
He sighed, his hand still resting on your shoulder. “I don’t have the answers,” he admitted, his voice low. “But I do know this… you’re not alone. I’m here. And I’m not going to let anything happen to you. Not if I can help it.”
You stared at him, your expression a mix of confusion and disbelief. “Why?” you asked softly. “Why do you care?”
He hesitated, searching for the right words. “Because… you remind me of something. Something I lost a long time ago.”
You didn’t know what he meant, but there was something in his eyes—a flicker of something raw and vulnerable—that made you believe him. Maybe he did care. Maybe, in this place of darkness and despair, you had found a glimmer of hope.
Sebastian stood up, offering you his hand. “Come on,” he said, his tone firm but kind. “We need to keep moving. But I promise… I won’t let you go through this alone.”
You took his hand, letting him pull you to your feet. You were still scared, still shaken, but for the first time in a long while, you felt a small spark of courage. Maybe you could keep going. Maybe you could survive this, after all.
As you walked beside him, you could feel the fear still gnawing at your insides. But with Sebastian at your side, it didn’t seem quite so overwhelming.
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whydon-twego · 1 year ago
Text
Merlin is so tired.
Physically and mentally tired.
Arthur, being in a bad mood, has been running him around more than usual, giving him tasks that generally wouldn't even be his. Gaius has requested herbs for a strange cold that keeps spreading through the citadel and leaving everyone tired and helpless for several days (and, in his defense, Gaius would have fetched them himself were it not for the fact that the herbs grow in a land with terrain too bumpy for Gaius' not-so-young legs) and he has stayed awake for more than forty-eight hours straight to eradicate a dark spirit roaming the castle.
All this is to say that Merlin is really tired.
But when has that ever stopped Arthur from demanding and demanding and demanding?
And so it is with trembling legs and eyes that want to close of their own accord that Merlin serves Arthur a drink while Arthur dines in his own room because he has better things to do than dine with his father and Morgana.
"You are unusually quiet this evening, Merlin."
Merlin nods because that's all he can do, even talking seems a gigantic effort.
Perhaps if he closes his eyes for a few moments he will be able to recover.
"Merlin, are you listening?"
Only for a few seconds, he is standing anyway, nothing can happen.
"Merlin!"
+++
Merlin has never felt so warm and so comfortable in all his life.
He does not know how he got into bed or how his bed is suddenly so comfortable (nor how it is so warm in his room as it is freezing on those winter days) but he is too comfortable to ask himself any more questions and feels so protected, so safe. Everything is fine.
"You are a bad bedfellow, Merlin, you really do get too worked up."
Merlin would like to say that the sound of Arthur's voice surprises him so much that it wakes him up, but the truth is that Arthur's voice only makes him feel safer, almost more protected, as if the fact that Arthur is there only makes things better.
Merlin sighs blissfully and mumbles an apology as he stretches out an arm and goes to get more comfortable with his head on Arthur's chest (because Arthur is letting him and Merlin is really too tired to think) and Arthur's arm around his waist.
"I don't know what the hell you've been up to lately but know that this is no way to reduce yourself. I will give you the morning off tomorrow but only because I am a magnanimous prince and you should be grateful to me for the rest of your life, do you understand me, Merlin?"


Merlin nods and his cheek rubs against Arthur's chest, his chest hair tickling.
Merlin lifts his face with closed eyes and snaps a kiss on Arthur's cheek (or whatever part of Arthur he can reach, he's not sure if he's got the cheek) and mumbles some kind of thanks.
And if Merlin were more awake he would realise what he has just done.
But Merlin is tired.
And Arthur is a benevolent prince.
Arthur kisses Merlin's forehead and bids him sleep.
Merlin doesn't let him say it twice.
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thehighpriestess1 · 1 year ago
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do you still do saiki smut fics? if so I would like to request Saiki who can’t keep his hands off you, he’s always touching all up on you like making u sit on his lap and have you shift on top of him. even in public, he just can’t get enough of u 🫣
sorry if it’s too much 😅
I hope you like this anon :) I hope I didn’t go overboard :)
Theme : Saiki using his powers to his benefit ;) All characters are aged up.
Warning : smut. 18+ only. Minors do not interact. Public smut.
Everyone who comes across Siki would probably describe him as a man of few words. His stoic face and calm demeanor made everyone believe that he was just a ‘chill’ guy. Even now, when he calmly agreed to have you sitting on his lap in Hairo's overfilled car. Before Kokomi could offer to switch places with you Siaki had already pulled you on his lap. You smiled at her hesitantly as you tried to adjust your short black tennis skirt.
Unbeknownst to everyone, you and Saiki had some sort of a secret relationship. Though you did not know the full extent of his power you had a vague idea that he was just different. When everyone went their separate ways after school you often found Saiki walking you to your home even though you lived on the opposite side of the town. When you forgot to do your school work, the class always ended up getting canceled. You did not know how it was happening but you had a feeling that Saiki had something to do with it. Eventually after one too many of these coincidences you confronted him and instead of confessing to making things work for you he confessed his feelings for you with a straight face. You didn’t say anything but you didn’t have to. Saiki knew.
Saiki was a completely different man behind closed doors. When in public, he did not want anything to do with anyone but behind closed doors he could not keep his hands off of you. His arms were always either wrapped around your waist or buried knuckles deep inside you. Another difference between Saiki outdoors and indoors was that while he showed a lack of energy around everyone, inside the bedroom his stamina was unmatched. He would tease and edge you for literal hours and when you’d eventually crumble at just the right touch Saiki would take you over the edge for as many times as he pleased. Somehow he knew your body perfectly, he knew when to stop and when to push for more. Never, even for a second you felt uncared for in his presence. He would groan and whine and praise you as he snapped his hips to yours. He was a passionate lover and calm best friend to you.
Even right now, On your yearly friends trip you should be talking to Everton and asking about their college life but you sat at the back quietly and watched everyone bicker over something trivial, Saiki’s arms were rubbing smooth circles over the soft skin of your thighs. He knew what he was doing. You turned your head sideways and saw Nendo passed out with a bag of chips open on his lap.
“No one will know”. Saiki whispered in your ear as he gently rocked you over his lap and you did not doubt him. His other hand snuck inside your polo t-shirt and cupped your beast over the lace bra. He put his one foot between yours and spread your legs to have you sit on top of him with your legs dangling on either side of his’. His other hand that was resting on your thigh slid in between your legs and he groaned when he felt the sticky wetness on his knuckles. He kneaded your breast with one hand and stroked your clit with the other, all the while rocking you gently over his hard on. Your mouth hung open and you swallowed your moans but Saiki didn’t want that. He wanted to hear you.
“They can’t hear us”. He whispered as he trailed kisses down your neck.
“Are…are you…sure?”. You whimpered.
Saili sucked on harshly at the juncture of your neck and shoulder and whole body twitched. “Need to hear you..trust me”.
You did. You did trust him. You let out a groan as he pulled down your lace bra and the cold air perked your nipples. No one turned around. “Fuck..Kusuo!”. You moved your hips on your own to get some friction. You clenched around nothing as Saiki continued to rub your clit over your lace underwear at an agonizing pace. “Please…need more”. You whimpered.
“You'll have to wait till we reach the hotel baby”. He smirked against your skin.
You let out another moan when you felt his clothed tip bump against your entrance. “”Tis..unfair…hotel is soo…far..fuck!”.
“What’s unfair is how you were stuck by Hairo’s side when your own boyfriend sat next to you”.
You groaned in frustration, “I was just…talking”.
“Why don’t you talk to him now? Should I let him hear you right now?”.
“No no no. Please”. You closed your eyes in frustration and decided that two can play this game.
You brought your legs forward and snuck your hand under your skirt and lifted up your ass to pull down the garment. Saiki kept his hand on yours but you swatted it away. You shimmied it down and when it reached your ankles you slowly bent down, causing the back of your skirt to lift up and give Saiki the view of your plump butt that he oh so loved and at the same time you grinded against him. When you straightened up you put the underwear in the pockets of his track pants. Saiki let out a sinful groan and you knew you had him.
“You’re teasing me”. He breathed out, running his finger through your folds.
“You started it”. You knew that his resolve was not going to crumble but you were not going to make it easy for him either. You rolled your hips and moaned his name while your one hand gripped his over your breast your other stroked his hard length.
“Fuck. You’re not making it easy for yourself”.
You chuckled. “No. I am going to make it so so so hard for you”. You spread your legs wider and leaned back on his chest and opened the top buttons of your polo giving him a view of your tits underneath. “Like what you see?”. You winked at him.
“Fuck..yes”.
“I wish you could suck on them as you filled me with your cock..”. You said sweetly.
“Don’t..stop it”. He warned.
“Why? I just want you to fuck me so hard that I pass out”. You arched your back and pouted at him. “I know you like it when my tits bounce,don’t you?”
He groaned plunged two of his fingers inside you and it made your eyes roll to the back of your head. “Is this what you wanted?”, He teased you.
“Fuck..yes yes yes..please”.
“You know that you can’t cum till we reach the hotel, right?”.
“Mmmmmm I’m about to Please let me..please…”.
“What will I Get ,baby?”.
“Anything…anything..please don’t stop..so close..please”.
Saiki smiled. He didn’t even want anything from you. He liked you like this. So dependent on him. He curled his fingers just right and with three more pumps you were gushing all over his finger and screaming his name.
“Such a good girl. My good girl”. He whispered as you caught your breath. Your body was still twitching and your mind felt fuzzy.
“Now, you are going to fall asleep and when you’ll wake up we’ll be in our hotel room and I’ll get what I want”. He winked and kissed the side of your head and your passed out.
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starstruckmiraclekitty · 2 years ago
Note
141 + Konig and Alejandro.
Requesting how they would react to reader having a near death experience and are afraid of losing them. Fluff at the end. Please and thank you ☺️
Of course, thanks for the request! Hope this is what you were looking for!
141 + König & Alejandro Reacting To Reader Nearly Dying
Warnings: blood, mentions of death, mentions of injury, heavy angst- ends in fluff
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Simon Ghost Riley-
It happened so quickly that Simon barely had time to register it.
The enemy had the gun pointed at him, and Simon was prepared to take it. He knew there was no escape from it. But then, you. You and your selfless heart just had to step in.
At the last second, you were nothing but a blur in his field of vision as you jumped in front of him, taking the bullet that was meant for him.
He watched as you dropped to the floor, and his entire world stopped in that moment. In his blind rage, he took down the man who shot you without a second thought, before regaining his senses.
"I need a med evac, NOW! Y/N's been shot." Simon cried out in a panic, rushing to your side. "Hey, hey, keep your eyes open, okay? Don't you dare fuckin' close them."
"I love you, Si." You said, gripping his arm with as much strength as your weakening form could muster. "I'm sorry."
"Don't talk like that, I won't have it. Keep your eyes open, kid." He gave your cheek a light slap as he pressed his hand on the wound on your abdomen. "Don't leave me, please."
You felt yourself slipping away, Simon's pleas being the last thing you heard before darkness consumed you.
~
Your eyes blinked open as a blinding white light blurred your vision. It took you a moment to realize your surroundings, as you looked over to the person whose hand was tucked firmly in yours. "Simon?"
"Sweetheart?" Simon voice was timid, and you knew him well enough to know that he had been crying. "You're awake."
"Hey." You croaked as you tried to sit up.
"No, no, don't move. I'll get you some water." He reached over to the bedside table and helped you gulp some of the ice water. He watched as you shakily set the glass down next to you, his eyes softening as he saw how much you struggled with such a simple gesture.
"You could have died Y/N, what were you thinking?" Simon asked, not taking his eyes off you. "That bullet was meant for me."
"And I couldn't sit by and watch you die, Simon. My body reacted before my brain did. It was just instinct. And I'd do it again if it meant you being alive." Your tone took Simon off guard, his protective walls shattering at your words.
"I can't live without you. I thought you were gone." His voice was barely audible, and you could hear the deep sadness in it.
"I'm here, Simon. I'm not going anywhere." You pulled him closer to you, forcing him to lay his head on his chest.
"Marry me."
"What?" You asked, not sure if you heard him correctly.
"Marry me." Simon repeated, his eyes still staring deeply into yours. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
"But you said that-"
"I don't care what I said before. Nearly losing you made me realize that I want to spend every waking second with you for the rest of my life. So please, marry me. We can go to the courthouse tomorrow and make it official."
You let out a small sob as you absorbed his words. "Yes, yes, of course I'll marry you."
Simon smashed his lips to yours, holding you impossibly close as he deepened the kiss. "I love you, so much."
"I love you too, always."
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John Price-
"When we are done with this God forsaken mission, I'm taking you to a nice dinner, got that?" John asked, a hint of a smile lining his lips.
"I certainly won't say no to that. I could use a night out with you." You gave your husband a warm smile before turning the corner in the building the two of you were clearing. "Last room, we should be done in just a minute."
John turned his gaze back to you, and his blood ran cold as he saw your foot land on trip wire. "Y/N, WAIT!"
But it was too late. You triggered the bomb set by the trip wire, and you and Pricem were sent flying as the explosion rang out through the building.
It took a moment for John to regain his senses, the impact of the explosion knocking the wind out of him.
John's ears were ringing as he looked for you amongst the debris. "Babe? Where are you!?"
He wiped some of the dust from his eyes and found you lying on the floor across the room, pieces of wood covering the lower half of your body.
He slid over to you, throwing the debris off of you in a panic. "Hey, hey, hey. You better be okay. I can't do this without you, I can't."
His heart was practically beating out of his chest as his eyes raked up and down your figure. You were covered in blood and bruises, and your heartbeat was faint.
He put his arm underneath your limp body and lifted you, holding you close to him chest. "I'm not going to let you die."
~
Sounds of distant talking, and machines beeping drew you from your deep slumber. Your eyes blinked open, as a cough racked through your chest.
"Babe!" John cried out, cutting his conversation with Laswell short. "You're okay."
He hurried over to you, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead as you blinked away the sleep from your eyes. "What happened?"
"We can talk about that later. How are you feeling?" John asked, kneeling next to the bed, grasping your hand firmly in his.
"Like hell, but I'll be okay." You gave him a reassuring smile as you squeezed his hand. Your brows furrowed slightly as you took in his bruised face. "Are you okay?"
"I'm better now that you're awake. Gave me quite a scare, sweetheart." He said as he pressed a kiss to your hand.
"Well, I should work on getting better quickly. If I remember correctly, you owe me a date, captian."
"That I do, I'm going to make it a date you'll never forget."
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Kyle Gaz Garrick-
You and Kyle were doing one of your weekly walks on one of the trails near your home.
It was a habit the two of you had formed, and it was a way for you both to unwind from the stresses of your lives.
It was early on a late winter morning, and you were just making your way over a small wooden bridge that rested above a small river. Kyle looked over at you and chuckled as he watched you shiver slightly.
"Should've taken a coat, kid. I told you it was cold."
"I'm no weakling. Besides, we are almost home anyway, I'll be fine." You giggled, bumping into him as the two of you walked.
He gave you the slightest of nudges, as the two of you laughed. At that same moment, you were walking over a small slick puddle on the bridge, causing you to lose your footing.
It happened in the blink of an eye, your valance being thrown off, sending you toppling over the side of the small bridge, into the freezing water below.
Kyle's entire world froze, and sheer panic set in. He watched as your frame disappeared into the water, and he immediately bolted across the bridge, to get to the ground below.
"Y/N? Y/N!" He screamed, his eyes frantically searching for you.
He saw your head emerge from the water, gasping for air as you struggled to tread above the surface. Without hesitation, he tore off his coat and jumped into the freezing water, swimming after you.
~
Dragging you to the surface, he grabbed his coat off the ground and wrapped it around your frame, holding you tightly to him, rubbing the length of your arms vigorously. "Are you okay?"
You gave a nod, as a chill ran through your body. "Thank you, for saving me. I couldn't feel my body."
"I will always, always save you. No matter the cost." He pressed a warm kiss to your temple, shivering slightly as he began to realize just how cold it was. "You are my everything, Y/N. I'm so sorry, this was my fault."
"I should've watched where I was going, it's okay. I'm okay." You said it more to yourself than to Kyle, in an attempt to calm your racing heart.
"Let's get going, I'll draw a hot bath for us when we get back. I think we both at a minimum are going to catch a cold from this." Kyle chuckled, helping you to your feet.
"Maybe this'll teach me to wear a coat next time."
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König-
"I'm right behind you, Kö, go!" You called out, running as fast as your legs could carry you.
The building was crumbling around you and the team as you all struggled to make your way outside to safety.
You were nearly out of the building when you tripped on a loose piece of concrete, sending you toppling to the floor. "KÖNIG!"
But it was too late, König was already out in the open before he heard you, and the building finally crumbled to the ground before he registered your cry for help.
"MAUS!" König cried out, watching as the dust settled from the crumbled building. His legs moved before his brain could catch up as he darted toward the rubble.
"König, wait! You're going to get yourself killed!" Price called out, trying to stop the Austrian from running to you.
"I can't leave them!" König slid to his knees and began to dig away at the rubble bit by bit. "I can't leave them."
König felt tears pooling in his eyes, the thought of losing you tearing at his heart in a way that made it nearly hard for him to breathe. "They're my everything."
Price and the others knew that fighting him was hopeless and ran to his aid. They spent the better part of 20 minutes throwing rubble to the side, and were just about to give up when they heard a faint cry from underneath them.
"Help! I'm in here!" You choked out, your throat filling with dust from each breath you took. "Please."
König was sent into a frenzy at your cries for help and doubled his efforts to remove the rocks. "Maus, I'm here! Hold on, I'm here!"
With one final rock thrown to the side, your beaten and battered frame came into his line of sight, and he felt the weight on his shoulders fall off.
You were covered in debris and blood, but still had that beautiful smile on your face. "König."
He reached his hands down and pulled you up to him in a bone crushing hug. "I'm here, Maus. I'll never leave you again."
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Johnny Soap MacTavish-
You and Johnny were running from an onslaught of enemies making their way to your location. You were less than half a mile from exfil, and the two of you were running faster than you ever have in your lives.
Johnny heard gunshots from behind him, and heard a sharp intake of breath come from you.
"Babe, come on, we've got to move!" Johnny called out, looking behind him to make sure you were following. What he saw, had his entire world shifting on its axis.
You looked up at him, through bleary eyes, as your hand clutched at the growing blood splotch on your stomach. "Johnny."
"No, no, no." Johnny ran over to you as you started to lose your footing, and held you in his arms. "Hey, kid, it's alright. You're going to be okay."
"It hurts, Johnny." You whispered, the blood loss causing you to grow weaker by the second. "I'm scared."
"You're going to be okay. You're going to be okay. I won't let anything happen to you." His voice was shaky as he struggled to keep his composure. "Please, please keep yourself awake. I'll get us to exfil."
He carried your body and sprinted toward the exfil point, praying to the stars that you would make it out of this alive.
~
Johnny walked into your hospital room a few days later, and his heart felt like it was going to implode when he saw your smiling face looking back at him.
"Theres that beautiful smile." Johnny's voice came from beside your bed. "I thought I lost you."
"I'm here, Johnny. I'm sorry to have scared you." You reached for his hand, giving it a firm squeeze as your eyes met his.
"Don't ever scare me like that again. I don't know what I would've done without you." Johnny's words felt like molasses in his throat, as his tears threatened to pour down his cheeks once more. "I can't live without you."
"I promise. I'm not going anywhere." You pulled him toward you and wrapped your arms around his shoulders as he began to sob into your chest.
"You better not, I won't ever let anything happen to you again."
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Alejandro-
Alejandros' worst nightmare had come true. The cartel had taken you hostage in an attempt to get back at him and Los Vaqueros, and it had been nearly three days without any sign of life from you.
He and Rudy were able to locate you at a nearby warehouse, and Alejandro was on a warpath to get to you. Dead bodies were strewn across the floors of the building, left in Alejandro and Rudy's wake.
Alejandro rounded a corner, and his heart stopped at the sight of you strapped to the chair, your body battered, bloodied and bruised.
"Carino!" He called out rushing to your side. He was quick to unstrap the restraints holding you to the chair and caught your limp body as it fell forward. "Carino, please, please be okay."
He carried your weakened body and sprinted alongside Rudy to leave the compound.
His tight grip on you didn't falter the entire ride to the hospital, as hot tears began to fall down his cheeks. Alejandro had been through a lot in his life, but nothing compared to this moment. He could feel the life slipping from you, and bit by bit, his heart began to disintegrate.
~
It was a few days later, when you were finally discharged from the nearby hospital. Alejandro had been distant from you the entire time you were admitted, the guilt of your kidnapping being too much for him to handle.
You weren't going to take his distance any longer, however, and decided to approach him about it a short while after you both got home.
"Alejandro, we need to talk. I'm okay, now. It's okay." You spoke, resting your hand on his shoulder gently. "Please, talk to me."
"It's not okay, I failed you. I should've been there. It's because of -."
"Ale, it's not your fault." You turned him toward you gently. "I don't blame you, not in the slightest."
"But it is, I'd understand if you didn't want to be with me anymore." His gaze fell from you, his eyes lingering on the floor below. "You're not safe with me."
"Don't say that. Alejandro, I'm safest when I am with you. I am not, and will not ever leave you."
Alejandro choked on a sob as he collapsed to his knees in front of you, wrapping his arms around you and resting his head against your abdomen. "I don't deserve you, hermosa, but I will spend the rest of my life making you the happiest person I can. And I promise you, I will protect you no matter the cost."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: I really struggled with writing this one- I hope you all enjoy!
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unluckilyimnot · 3 months ago
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18 + 11 fluff for Sakura (wb) and Narumi (kn8)
18 Warming their hands with the other's body + 11 "tell me you love me" with sakura and narumi 
note: thank you sm for participating ! I loved doing this one sm I'm sorry it took this long. My best friend came to visit me for like a year and then I got sick. But I'm back at it !
m.list | rules | from this
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Sakura really likes it when you come along with him when he has to patrol with his friends. He knows that's your way of telling him you'll always be by his side and he definitely appreciates it – even if he hates it when you get caught in a fight because of that. Thankfully, it doesn't happen that much. What he doesn’t appreciate on the other hand is that you tag along even during winter when you’re a rather cold person – by that, understand that you can’t warm yourself up to save your life. Which gets him really worried when you follow him around outside for hours sometimes.
As he usually walks faster than you, he slows down his pace constantly to keep you next to him and can’t help but keep asking if you’re alright, not too cold. Also nagging you about staying inside so you’ll be better, all of that with a subtle blush and you can’t tell if it’s from the cold or the fact that he’s actively showing how much he cares about you. But you like it, a lot. It makes you feel loved. 
Even if you keep on reassuring him that you're fine, there’s always a frown on his face – he never believes you. He wished you could just wait for him inside, at Koroha’s place. But you almost never listen and it gets him nervous about your well being. The second he catches a glance of you rubbing your hands together, you are done. 
“You’re cold,” he states in a sigh. That’s not even a question and you can’t tell him overwise when you just got caught. In the rush, and making sure the others aren’t looking, he takes both your hands in his before rubbing them together gently, in hope to bring back some warmth to you. 
There’s a flustered smile on your lips when he brings them close to his mouth to blow warm air to be more efficient. Your hands are deadly cold yet he never frowned or jolted at the coldness, only caring about how you must feel. 
“We should take you back to Kotoha to wait for us,” he speaks again, thinking to himself. You shake your head in answer.
“That’s not necessary, I'm fine really.” You’re ruse to being cold like this all the time, but that’s not something that works with him. 
“I’d rather know you in a warm place anyway…” he’s shy when he answers you back, looking away from your eyes but that’s why you know how much he means it. 
“Tell me you love me without telling me you love me,” you giggle to yourself, already thinking about your friends reaction when you’ll talk about this to them. 
“What ?” 
“Nothing,” you add, kissing his frozen nose to make sure to fluster him. “I’ll go back there alone, don't worry about me. Meet me later.” He’s puzzled but still nods at you, still trying to understand what you said.
He’s reluctant to let you leave alone, because he’s just like that now, but you only got to sigh for him to let you go anyway.
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Narumi hates having you around on his day off, you're already in his team, why would you stay with him even though you're both supposed to take some rest? In fact, it's not that he doesn't like having you around – he loves you, you're his lover. The real problem is that you're a pain in the ass when he wants to play ; you're always making dumb comments while laying on his back, rolling around on and off of him, making him miss half of the time. You were playing with his nerves on purpose and honestly he was seriously thinking about banning you from his room.
“Narumiiii,” you whined, still on his back with your face nuzzled in it so far he could barely understand what you were saying. “I'm cold and you're ignoring me.” 
“Take a blanket and shut up, I'm gonna win this.” He said, on edge because of his turn not going as well as he wished it would. 
He heard you leave, with a small sigh before feeling your body move a little and thought to himself that he was finally free. Until he felt your cold as ice fingers lingering around his waist, inside his shirt. He squealed at the sudden and terrible feeling and stood up on his knees before you could do anything about it.
Your laughter filled the room at his high pitch scream and you couldn't help but cuddle up closer to his back while he was fighting to get you off his back. 
“You're really annoying you know that! Get away !” He yelled at you, making you laugh again. 
“Maybe you just shouldn't ignore me,” you suggested, gripping on to him like for dear life. He sighs deeply and stops moving around. 
“Fine, let go.” He was resigned, you could tell, so you let go of him and wasn't that surprised when he sat back up, pulled another blanket he was resting on and patted the space between his legs. 
A dumb, happy smile shows on your face and you rush in, nesting yourself where you like it the most, against him and with his arms around you. He could tell you were satisfied and to be frank, he was too. It always feels nice to have you close, even if he acts like it bothers him.
“Say Narumi,” you started, laying your head against his chest. “I know I'm annoying but, tell me you love me.” He sighs at your stupid words.
“I wouldn't bother if I didn't love you.” he finally said, leaving a kiss in your hair before returning to his now lost turn. 
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golden-afternoon · 8 months ago
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Yeah I was working on another actual fic but uhhh the 'Nari brainrot took over so uhhh here take me going insane over him and rambling about what comes to my mind. Kay? Kay.
Warnings - nsfw, mating cycle talk from a person who only has google by her side, absolutely not proofread having gone straight from brain to paper, and just know there is a solid chance I'll have more to say about this in the future.
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Tighnari, by his very nature, is a very compartmentalized person. His own problems stay within himself to be dealt with later when he is done and everyone else's needs are already attended to. Always concerned with helping others and keeping things in order, even to the point of staying up into the early hours of the morning, less concerned with himself than those around him. If he’s ever struggling with anything at all, he will do absolutely everything in his power to keep anyone from knowing about it, much less something as personal as this.
In the early months of the year, especially as Lantern Rite nears, Tighnari becomes withdrawn. Quieter, more distant. The Forest Watchers have been talking for forever back and forth swapping theories and rumors in not so hushed tones.
“I heard Master Tighnari lost a family member around this time of year.”
“Really? I heard he just reeeeally hates any kind of festivities especially Lantern Rite because it's so noisy, even when not in Liyue.”
“I dunno, maybe he's just sensitive to the cold?”
Unlike the usual case where he was quick to nip such chatter in the bud and tell off the Rangers for gossiping, he remains entirely silent on the issue, otherwise carrying on as usual. Setting up excursions, documenting his findings, helping and guiding wherever he was needed…
Until he just can't stand it anymore. With hardly a word, save perhaps to Collei to ask her to care for things in his absence, he retreats, hiding himself away in his hut, barricading himself in completely so no nosy Rangers have any reason to loiter around.
He hates it.
He understands it's natural and it's going to happen and blah blah blah, but it was such a nuisance to his life he would give anything to not have to put up with it. The worst of it usually lasts a week or two before he can at least carry some semblance of normalcy and feel willing and able to return to work, but while he's in it, it drives him insane.
Some years it's so bad that he can't even focus on anything other than the absolutely filthy thoughts that plague his mind, his hands shaking so hard he can't even hold a pen long enough to attempt any sort of work. Even like this he just doesn't feel right not being productive especially when he's always running around here and there the rest of the year, why should this be any different?
Head slamming into his desk with a groan, a flush curling up his cheeks and neck. Eventually he has to crack, begrudgingly caring for the needs that grow and grow and grow and become nigh insatiable during his rut.
It starts out almost clinical, looking to just take care of a symptom of an illness almost. Face flushed, lips curled into a deep frown, he sits at his desk, fisting his cock with precision, hoping to get it over with as fast as possible by hitting everything just right.
But no. After dealing with this for years you think he would have known by now that just once isn't enough, yet he still hopes year after year. It only gets worse. Over and over and over again until he's just sore and it hurts. Until he can't keep jerking it lest he make his own skin turn raw. By this point he usually finds himself in his bed, ears flat and face buried into some blankets to muffle the pathetic whimpers that left his lips as he kept grinding his hips into the pillows over and over and over and over, chasing even the slightest modicum of relief.
And most of the time, as annoying as it is, it was completely fine for him to just be stuck imagining some faceless, nameless mate beneath him as he struggled to sate these urges. However, if Tighnari has a bit of a crush… Well, he'd be in for a rude awakening if he hadn't already acknowledged his feelings for you.
I could see poor Tighnari getting almost ill as he realized the cute moans he was imagining sounded a little too much like your voice. Everything freezes for a moment, his stomach lurching both from the realization and the sudden loss of friction when he faltered. He tries so hard to brush it aside, chastising himself for pulling you into his filthy mind right then. But it doesn't stop. Your face, your voice, your skin. Everything. Everything stays in his mind and he cannot stop it. He feels such overwhelming shame about it, but… he does eventually give in and just let whatever fantasies take root, especially since it seems to ease the feelings when he does.
But when he sees you after the worst of it is over and he leaves his hut, guilt grips around his heart and memories of those fantasies rush into his head, leaving him turning on his heel to avoid you at all costs, honestly risking you thinking he hates you with how intensely he's ignoring you.
It's even worse because Tighnari considers hiding in his hut again for even longer as usually he was fine when the worst of it passed, he could resume his duties, but with you around, he could feel his hands shaking, the intense urge to find you wherever you were and pin you down immediately was so strong it scared him a little. Sometimes it caught him off guard too, like he would catch your scent on the breeze and while in his rut, he would genuinely get so horny so fast he's gotten lightheaded, having to catch himself on whatever was nearby so he didn't go crashing down.
If he hated his rut before, the shame of all this made him absolutely loathe it.
Maybe one day you can find a way to make it a liiiiittle more bearable for him ♡
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vintagebishx · 5 months ago
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ULTRAVIOLENCE theodore nott
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“i love you the first time
i love you the last time…”
- lana del rey
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PAIRINGS: toxic!theodore nott x fem!reader
WARNINGS: use of y/n, she/her pronouns, very much angsty, smoking, toxic relationship and very much toxic theo, mentions of bruises, just want to make clear that i am not romanticising this type of “love” whatsoever!
SUMMARY: in which, she can’t get away from his “love”…
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
THE COLD AIR of the dark, and starry sky hit her face as she stood in the astronomy tower with a cigarette placed between her lips, and her eyes slightly squinting as the wind was starting to become too much.
her face lacked emotion though, still keeping a straight face as she just stared at the scenery that was playing out before her.
she felt as the smoke entered her body. it was toxic, but she was used to toxic.
she wouldn’t describe the feeling as pleasurable but more of an intense, exhilarating feeling that made her feel like the smoke was carrying out her worries as it left her mouth.
she loved the feeling. she didn’t want to exhale the smoke, but she did. not because she wanted to, but because she had to.
the wind hitting against her red, purplish mark that rested on her arm was enough to make her shudder and wince in slight pain.
her eyes finally ripped away from the outside world, bringing all her attention back to the reality of what was really happening.
she blankly stared at the mark.
a dangerous, yet loving reminder that somebody was there with her.
a reminder that she was loved.
after all, she felt herself wanting to be loved more than she wanted to be alive.
the mark was fresh, unlike her love which was slowly becoming old and outdated to her.
but she still stayed.
for the past five days, night was the only time of the day she found herself taking off her jumper and exposing her painted arm. she knew she would get judged or questioned, but that’s not what she wanted.
she knew that people wouldn’t understand that to her, these marks were symbols of love. a reminder that he still cared about her, providing a feeling that she had always longed for.
acceptance.
for the longest time. she had felt like an outsider in her own life. but when theo came along, he made her feel something. he made her feel special.
she knew it was wrong.
she knew that this type of love that they had going on was not the right way to go. yet every time she expressed her doubts to him, he would just pull her closer, wrap his arms around her and reassure her that he loved her.
and of course, she gave in.
and it wasn’t only because she loved him so dearly, it was because he provided a sense of security and reassurance that nobody had ever offered to her.
she wanted so badly to cry and let some emotion out but over time, she had taught herself how to conceal that very well.
he never liked it when she cried.
he claimed that she was “too pretty to cry”, and that she should never cry in front of him.
so like a fool in love, she obeyed.
she made sure that he never saw the water that would constantly threaten to slip from her dark eyes. but for now, she was all alone.
so instead of doing her usual routine of sucking it up, she let them fall. a small sigh of relief leaving her mouth when doing so as her tears began to ruin the mascara that was perfectly applied to her face.
a sigh escaped her mouth, the feeling of the tears rolling down her cheek were refreshing, like something she had never felt before.
she brought her cigarette back up to her mouth, her hands slightly shaking as she was beginning to feel overwhelmed by the “sudden” wave of sadness entering her body.
she felt so lonely in such a busy world, this was a feeling that was always with her since she first became a teenager.
she watched as the smoke that escaped her mouth now blew away freely into the air, staring at it with envy. she was jealous of how free the smoke was, unlike her who felt trapped in a place that was supposed to provide her “freedom”.
the sudden sound of footsteps was what immediately silenced her, scaring her from turning around in case it was a professor.
i mean, God forbid it was Snape who found her.
but it wasn’t.
instead, she recognised the footsteps.
she slowly turned her head to the side, using her peripheral view to see exactly who it was. theodore.
her eyes remained on him as he walked closer and closer to her, her mouth slowly going agape as she waited to see what he would do or say.
“y/n…” he began.
his voice. his oh so soft voice that made her fall even more in love with him than when she first met the boy two years ago. his voice lured her in for a quick second, making her feel everything she would feel for him whenever he would hold her tight and reassure her that he loved her, even after doing her dirty most times.
“i’ve been looking for you everywhere.” he continued as he was getting even closer. but y/n just stared at him, quickly getting out of whatever trance he had put her in unknowingly.
the girl watched as he got closer. she suddenly dropped her cigarette on the floor before backing away from the boy who just kept approaching her, “get the fuck away from me.” she harshly spat, forced to use her inside voice as she didn’t want to get caught out here, especially with a boy after hours.
“woah, calm down princess…” he said in attempts to calm her down as he stared at her. his eyes dropped down to her arm and the painted bruise that laid on it, “i’m not gonna hurt you.” he reassured her, trying to reach his arms out to her but she rejected.
“you already did.” she said sternly.
she took a moment to look at him, admiring how the moon reflected on his carefully crafted features that were just so beautiful. her breaths became a little shaky, his eyes glistened as he looked at the girl and the state that she was in.
but she didn’t care about how he viewed her at that moment, she just wanted him gone.
“so don’t try to fucking touch me.” she said harshly, resulting in theo to slowly furrow his eyebrows.
“me, hurt you?” he asked in a condescending tone as he walked closer and closer to her. but y/n continued to back further away from him, not wanting to be anywhere near him.
the feeling of her back hitting a stone wall causing her breathing to fault as she knew that that he was going to use this to his advantage. she could’ve sworn she saw a small smirk appear on his face, one that quickly disappeared once he finally reached her.
his cold, cold eyes looked down at her, taking in her beauty that was to die for. his eyes scanned all over her face, the bright moonlight showing every single minute detail that captivated him the moment he first saw her.
y/n knew he was staring. she could feel his harsh gaze on her, but she had her head turned to the side, avoiding him as her breaths were shaky and a few tears rolled down her face.
she knew what the consequences would be if she even glanced at him. it was a cycle. she’d fall into his obvious trap, he’d hold her close and whisper sweet lies in her ear, then they would be together the next day just to break up again days later.
“i would never hurt you y/n.” he muttered as his low eyes remained on her, staying focused on the tears that freely rolled down her cheeks.
y/n nearly scoffed at his words, but she chose to stay silent. she didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of her reaction because he lied.
after all, it was what he did best.
his cold, cold eyes stayed glued to her features, his attention drawing to the tears that rolled down her cheeks. he brought his hand up to her jaw, grabbing onto it with a little bit of pressure.
she shivered.
his touch feeling so comfortable, yet so unsettling to her.
he wasted no time in turning her head over to him, forcing her to look at his face. his low eyes analysed her face as the bright moonlight reflected on her beauty face. he just looked a her while she stood there, her breaths even becoming shaky as her mouth was left slightly agape.
“so beautiful mi amore.” he muttered, his eyes flickering down to her beautifully full and succulent lips.
“your so pretty when you cry,” he added. his thumb found its way to her cheek, wiping the tears off of her cheek.
“but you know i hate it when you do…” theo spoke in a quiet voice.
his voice.
his voice sounded like a melody that made her want to listen to it over again. his soft, yet assertive voice was what caught her in the obvious trap that he had set out. she found herself staring deeply into his eyes, like a lost puppy. his beautiful eyes made her heart skip a beat as his gaze was so comforting.
silence found its way between the two, the only thing audible being the loud winds that hurled.
her eyebrows furrowed at just feeling of his thumb grazing her cheek slowly, she brought her hand up and wasted no time in removing his thumb.
“i-i can’t keep doing this.” said y/n as she shook her head, she knew how it would all end if she stayed and she wasn’t ready for that outcome.
“we aren’t good for each other.” she mumbled out truthfully, but theo just furrowed his eyebrows at her words. she looked away from him, avoiding his intoxicating, yet addictive gaze.
“why?” he simply asked, removing his hands from her jaw before brining it down to her waist. his touch brought her butterflies, a feeling that she knew she shouldn’t of been feeling.
but she couldn’t help it.
the feeling of his fingertips against her skin brought back many memories, good and bad. the nostalgia of how good he’d make her feel while inside of her, whispering in her ear that she was beautiful, or that she was all he ever wanted. but memories of how he’d harshly grab her, or how she’d roughly push him away from her came rushing back.
“can’t you see that we’re perfect together?” he asked her as he stepped even closer to her body, “we can’t ruin this my love.” he muttered.
his words ran through her mind. the thing was, they weren’t perfect. far from it even.
y/n felt her self going crazy.
she was tired. tired of feeling drained, tired of waiting for him to change, tired of feeling utterly dehumanised, and tired of feeling fucking crazy whenever she was around him.
if it was love, she wouldn’t of felt this agonising feeling when with him, if it was love she wouldn’t of constantly looked at him with disgust, if it was love she wouldn’t of had these marks all over her. but she was afraid to leave him, afraid as this was truly the only “love” she knew.
“no…” she mumbled quietly as she looked at him, “this isn’t love.” she spoke, motioning her hands between them both. theo just looked down at her, his hand remaining on her waist as his expression just stayed emotionless.
his once comforting touch now felt sour, she quickly pushed him off of her causing him to slightly stumble back.
“what the f-” “shut the fuck up theo…” she harshly spat, her eyes filled with disgust as she looked him up and down.
“i-i can’t keep doing this… i can’t keep waiting for you to finally see me and treat me like a human.” she expressed, “you don’t care about me theo, you never did.” she added.
theo let out a small sigh, “i do care about-” “just shut up, please”.
“your an awful person theo, i just hope you realise that someday.” she said truthfully, but theo just rolled his eyes at her words as he was used to hearing that.
his eyebrows furrowed as he walked closer to the girl once more, y/n just watched him. she watched him keep his eyes on her with this dark, eerie aura which strongly radiated from him.
“but you don’t say that when we’re alone together.” he muttered, his body basically against hers as he looked down at her. her soft beat was all he could feel against his chest, something that he was used to hearing and breaking.
“when my hands are all over you,” he continued lowly as his eyes now scanned her body.
“or even when i’m inside-” “that’s enough.” she quietly spoke as she dropped her eyes to her feet, but the seriousness in her tone was enough to make him shut up.
“i don’t deserve this. i deserve a love that’s pure, deep, a-and passionate. not this.” she said before looking back up at him, who was already staring.
theo let out a breathy laugh, his perfect teeth being exposed as a smile rested on his face.
“and who will give you that?” he asked her as his smile dropped, “hm?” he continued, waiting for an answer to drop out of her mouth. her words were practically a joke to him.
“all the other boys waiting for you to disappear.” she quickly replied, and she wasn’t lying.
she really did have a lot of boys trying to get to her but the only thing holding her back was theo. it didn’t help that everyone knew how possessive he got with her, causing every man to avoid her like the plague.
his eyes spent a moment scanning her perfect face, a confused expression on his face even though nothing had been said.
he suddenly lifted his hands and brought them to her face, his large hands cupped her cheeks as his thumb slowly grazed her soft skin. his eyes were constantly flicking between her lips and eyes, licking his lips before opening his mouth to talk.
his hands were soft, like butter.
it was a feeling that she had always loved against her skin, it felt so comforting to her.
“go ahead, nobody’s stopping you.” he said cooly, “but when each of them start to randomly disappear, don’t get shocked sweetheart.” he told her coldly.
his face was serious, a face and tone that she was extremely familiar with.
“no one will ever love you like i do my love.” he mumbled, slightly distracted as his attention was really just on her.
“and even if they try to…” he began, “i’ll blow their brains out, no hesitation.” he said with a straight face.
his tone was collected, almost as if he hasn’t said the most incriminating thing ever.
she wanted so badly to freak out over his words, but part of her felt flattered over his obsessive tendencies. maybe she felt this way because it was him who was talking, or maybe it was because of how protected he made her feel, or maybe it was the fact that being loved harshly was the only type of love she knew and was actually good at.
now here she was, a conversation that began with a determined y/n was now slowly disintegrating into her melting into his hands like putty.
but aside from that, she tried to hide how she felt by letting an expression of disgust rest on her face. she didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing her fold this fast.
“why can’t you just leave me alone? aren’t you tired of this, constantly trying to chase me?” she questioned, “your pathetic.” she spat.
“because when will you get it through your thick head that you don’t need anybody else but me?” he asked her, his tone was harsh as he furrowed his eyebrows and waited for an answer.
his expression suddenly softened as his eyebrows relaxed, “i see you with another man then i’ll kill you and whoever it is.” he said calmly.
“you wouldn’t even try.” she said bluntly, but theo only let out a laugh, not really buying whatever act she was trying to keep up.
“you know how bad i can get…” he said, his bottom lip finding its way between his teeth as he began to think about the different ways he’d punish her for her actions.
“you’re mine.” he continued.
those words were so simple, yet effective.
she knew it was a lie. she knew that he was full of shit half of the time, but it was something about him that kept dragging her back to him. she was so embarrassed to admit how dumb she looked continuously going back to him but she couldn’t explain it.
he was like a deadly drug that she was constantly drawn to, addictive.
he slight leaned his head down, his succulent lips making its way to her cheeks as they kissed them softly. he wasted no time in moving his hands from her cheeks down to her waist as he began to move his kisses down to her neck, becoming harsher, and harsher.
his lips were soft. sometimes cold, sometimes warm but that never distracted her from the fact that every time she kissed him or felt his lips attach to her body, she would have this dizzy feeling take over her system. she even felt it at that moment.
his kisses feeling like true love, a feeling that she always felt when with him but just hated to admit it to anyone, and even herself because she knew that what they had was far from it.
y/n stared blankly ahead of her, too ashamed to feel any pleasure from his sweet sensations of love.
she wanted to deny him so bad but she couldn’t, she was addicted to this man and there was no turning back.
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AUTHOR SPEAKS!
it’s low-key been a while, but i was just trying to focus on some drafts.
i’m aware that people want a part two of “for the first time” which i really wasn’t expecting. i have been trying to think of a part two but writers block hit me harddd, but there will be one dw!!
385 notes · View notes
clubdionysus · 7 months ago
Text
[BAD DECISION #23] Cherry Picking
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warnings: ohhhhh we have arrived!! okay! a lil (not so) dry hump, bird manipulation!!, panty sniffing!! panties in mouth??, titty sucking, fingering, oral (f receiving), jungkooks nose <3, kissing !!! oh god the loveliest of kisses!!! unprotected sex, 'baby', cum on tits, jk cleans her up with his tongue! a gentleman! over stimulation, squirting, (just friendly tho!!)
soundtrack: diamonds - luke hemmings, finally // beautiful stranger - halsey, ruin the friendship - demi lovato
a/n: just two updates tonight as it cuts off at the perfect place!
wc: 15k
bd total wc: 540k (ongoing)
AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI
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"They'll be wondering where you are," you say quietly, as the door behind you clicks shut. There's a slight rustle - the synthetic material of your padded jacket rubbing against itself - when Jeongguk comes to stand behind you, before he drapes it over your shoulders.
"Shouldn't start the New Year with a cold," he simply states stepping over the stone bench to sit down beside you. It's cold beneath his body, but he's got his coat on too. You've a hand warmer in each pocket, so pass one over to him. "Thanks."
"I mean it, Gguk," you double down, voice soft. "It's nearly time."
He just shrugs. Looks up to the sky.
You're in the tiny courtyard that's attached to the staffroom; Jeongguk's secret hiding spot for when he needs to escape from the chaos of Dionysus. There are some sheets of plywood in the corner that Jeongguk needs to take over to Yoongi's studio, but he's still putting off the expansions his boss wants doing. Doesn't want to lose his little sanctuary just yet.
It feels like he's losing more and more comforts day by day.
His final university deadlines are approaching, and he's gonna have to decide if he stays comfortable or does something far more terrifying a lot sooner than he's really ready for.
Change can be daunting, so he's choosing to keep things as they are as much as he can. Feels safer that way. The curse of Jeon Jeongguk is his ability to let his fears control his life. He's always been this way. Fears he always will be. The irony isn't lost on him.
"They'll be wondering where you are, too," he says. Thinks that Danbi must be running around like a headless chicken trying to find you - but also knows she was holding Tae's hand as she was glancing around before he left, so maybe she'll be a bit distracted. Thinks it's about time. Tae's been looking at her like a lovesick pup for weeks, now. Months, even.
"Jiyeong-" You begin, but are cut off by Jeongguk.
He doesn't want to talk about her. Doesn't wanna have to explain what happened, because it feels embarrassing and bothersome. Pity looks so pretty on your features, but he doesn't want to be the recipient of such a gentle look.
"-Isn't gonna be a part of next year," he says. Though his tone isn't stern, it is incredibly final .
You bring your gaze down from the skies, and rest your chin on your shoulder to look at Jeongguk. His eyes are still searching for stars - the light pollution proves to make it impossible - chin tilted upward, dewy nose to the sky. His skin is beginning to blush from the cold. His lips are thin; folded in on themselves, lip ring shining ever so daintily as it flips in the corner of his mouth.
You've missed watching his piercing do the thing. When you've as much alcohol in your system as you do, you find it makes your tummy flip, too. It's silly of your body to behave like that. Drunk or not, Jeongguk is still just Jeongguk.
From the club, you can hear the echoes of a chant. The countdown has begun. If you ask questions now, he'll just brush them off.
You're a little too tipsy to really comprehend what he means, either way.
"We should go back inside," you whisper, eyes still on him, your chin denting down into the thick padding of your coat. You always think you look like an emo Michelin baby whenever you wear it. If Jeongguk heard the comparison, he'd laugh. Would agree.
When he turns to look at you, he barely notices the coat. Just thinks you look cosy. Is pleased to find the stars right here on Earth, instead.
"Won't make it in time," he says.
"Could try?"
"Why bother?"
"'Cause you should be around people who care about you when it hits twelve," you say, a little pout on your lips. He's being difficult.
And then he just shrugs. Knocks into your shoulder. Smiles. "Are we not already?"
There's silence for a moment. Just a second.
The sky above you both begins to sparkle; greens and blues erupting where darkness once was. They scatter into the night; pinks and yellows spiralling just like your mind so often does whenever Jeongguk speaks in riddles.
You're aware that the fireworks are deafening, but you're oblivious to the sound. All you can hear is the beating of your own heart. The explosions shimmer in Jeongguk's eyes, but it's still only stars you can see in them.
"Happy New Year," Jeongguk says quietly. Smiles tenderly. Fills you with a warmth that the frigid winter night had previously stolen. He doesn't look at your lips. Makes no indication that he's thinking about a New Year's kiss.
There are a dozen girls in that room who'd have jumped at the chance to lock lips with him, even if just for a moment as the bells rang out, and yet he's chosen to be with you.
He could have been with Hayun.
And yet he's chosen to be with you.
"Happy New Year," you smile right back. The exchange is soft, like mid-winter snow; warm like a breeze on a summer's day. Secure like a three-pin-padlock; secret, like the code written in the back of an old notebook.
"Hey, B?" He says quietly, eyes still on yours. The sky flashes a myriad of colours. They rain down on him; paint him better than Picasso ever could.
"Mhmm?"
He grins. You think his lip ring looks so pretty. Teeth, too. Pearly and perfectly proportioned for him.
"Stop looking at my lips," he teases. "Gonna make me think you wanna kiss me."
A gasp escapes your lips. You look away. Cover your mouth. Can't believe how fucking obvious you must have been.
"I was just..." you begin to excuse yourself, but then laugh. Choose honesty. "I was actually just thinking about the fact you missed out on a New Years Kiss."
Jeongguk shrugs in that boyish way he so often does, as if he has no care for the arbitrary realities of life. C'est la vie . He looks up to the skies, and lets his smile linger as the illuminations paint the midnight skies.
"Got all year for kisses, B. Only one chance to see the New Year in with my best friend."
And maybe it's because you've been rattled by Hayun, or maybe it's because he's one of the only good things to have come out of the past year, but hearing him claim you as his best friend makes you feel like a weight has been lifted.
"Best friend?" You question, just to make sure.
He nods. "Best friend."
It's laughable, really, how those two words take aim at the arrows shot by Hayun, and knocks them off course before they can really implode on your heart. Just a surface scratch, now. That's all.
"What about Jimin?"
Jeongguk tilts his head to the side. Considers it. "Family."
You're pleased to hear the conclusion of his consideration. You've a shared history with Jimin that could make things awkward between the three of you, and yet you all chalk it up to dumb drunk choices. Aren't the first you've ever made. Won't be the last.
"Be weird if I said you were like family, too," Jeongguk adds - then feels the need to clarify, even though he totally doesn't. "Fucked you. Would make for weird family gatherings."
You laugh. Nod. "Yeah. Probably best you don't ever tell girls I'm like a sister or anything like that," you muse.
He laughs, too, but doesn't say anything. Thinks of Hayun, and how he knows you had definitely had a spat with her before you left. Wants to know what was said. Knows it will be about him. Doesn't want to sour your mood. Is quite conflicted.
Luckily for him, your mind works in a similar way, and your filter is next to non-existent when you've had as many drinks as you have.
"I thought Hayun was your best friend."
Jeongguk looks over to you, his eyes a little hard, brows pinching above his nose. You don't look at him. The fireworks are dwindling, now.
"Friendships change," he admits candidly.
Won't tell you how the second he heard someone asking for star fuckers, he assumed it was you .
Won't tell you how he recited lines - already said to you - to her, because he wasn't comfortable enough in her presence to let his brain think of anything original. Went for something safe. Went for something nurtured with you.
Won't tell you how much the way you've subtly distracted him - with glitter and nonsensical conversations - throughout the night has helped him get his head straight.
Won't tell you how watching you leave felt like a sucker punch to the chest.
Won't tell you that he didn't even consider going over to his friends, because in that moment he was furious with the fact Hayun had made you want to leave so close to midnight. He likes to think it wasn't intentional, but celebrating with her while you would have been alone? Didn't seem like something worth celebrating at all.
If he hadn't been distracted (as always) by your disco ball eyes, and the way light shines from your very being, he never would have known you were speaking with her. Never would have seen her do that thing with her eyes - the cold, vacant, roll of them he used to know so well - that he hated so much. Never would have realised you were leaving.
You'd have spent New Year's by yourself, away from the people who love you, cold and quiet.
And it would have been her fault.
Mentally, he excuses her bad behaviour; tells himself it's probably a mix of alcohol and someone new taking her place that made her hostile.
But when he looks at you, and acknowledges the sadness that imposes on your features, the guilt creeps in. He blames himself . If he'd have introduced you two, maybe it would have gone differently. If Jiyeong hadn't been so rude to her, maybe Hayun wouldn't have been so malevolent with you.
Absolving Hayun of blame is something Jeongguk's been doing for years. Patterns of behaviour are easy to acknowledge; difficult to end.
He's trying. He's here. That counts for something.
You think Jeongguk is right. Friendships do change. You're scared that Hayun's presence will change yours.
"When do you clock off?" You ask, instead of venturing any further down the road of a topic you don't think will benefit either of you.
Jeongguk raises his wrist - the one without his watch on it - and hums. Pretends to read it. Makes you giggle.
"About five minutes ago."
The skies have settled once more. The only stars he can see are ones in his peripherals; the specks of glitter on his skin, and the girl beside him.
The chill of a winter freeze is sobering you up. You know that you probably can't walk straight, but you can think straight, and that's absolutely outrageous, as far as you're concerned. The night is still young and - as Jimin said - so are you. The heaviness in your heart is ageing you. You don't care for it.
"Starfuckers?" you propose - and the way Jeongguk smiles has you wishing you'd asked earlier.
"Thought you'd never ask," he grins, but catches himself.
Decides he needs to give you a little context on Jiyeong before continuing the night, 'cause he doesn't wanna talk about it when he's a few shots too deep to be sensible about things.
"Jiyeong gets really... argumentative when she drinks."
His slow speech makes it evident how careful he's trying to be. You know what it really means. Knows she must have said something awful for him to be mentioning it now.
"Was it bad?" you ask, a little clueless, and hating it.
Jeongguk nods. Bites the bullet. Doesn't look at you as he says, "She threw a drink on me."
"She what?!"
Jeongguk smirks, not because he finds it funny, but because he finds it awkward. Rolls his eyes, and shakes his head. "Was at the bar. Fucking mortifying ."
You study his face, looking for signs you might have missed.
"Where did she get you?" You ask, but realise as soon as your question finishes. You gasp again. Can't believe you hadn't thought to ask earlier. "The outfit change?!"
He confirms your suspicions. "Anyways, I'm sort of... done with her."
His hesitation is genuine, not because he's unsure of his choice, just because he's still worried about letting you down.
To his surprise, you're the one apologising.
The weight in your chest when he admits that he doesn't want to be with her is catastrophic. You thought you had picked well for him. You really thought maybe you'd helped him. You feel like the failure.
"Gguk, if I'd have known she was like that, I never would have set things up. I'm so so sorry. You didn't deserve that whatsoever."
"Not your fault," he says, offering you a sincere smile. "Just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes."
He's downplaying it, and you both know it. He doesn't want to talk about it though, so you won't push. Not now. Another time, yes.
Thing is, neither of you are at fault. C'est la vie.
"You know how many stars there are?" You ask, in a bid to change the subject to something a little easier to digest.
Jeongguk shakes his head. "Not a clue, B."
"Oh," you say quietly. "Thought you might. Always mumbling stuff about the stars, you are."
He smiles to himself. Thinks it's hardly a surprise.
Deflects, and asks, "You know much about manure?"
"What?" You chirp, then laugh. What a bizarre question. "No?"
"Oh," he hums, mimicking you. "Thought you might. Always chatting shit."
You tell him to fuck off, so he gets to his feet - but holds his hand out for you.
"C'mon," he knocks his head to the side. "Let's go get fucked up."
It's quarter past twelve by the time you make it back to your friends, Jeongguk double fisting drinks 'cause he's so far behind everyone else and needs to get fucked up.
It doesn't take much - four double dark rum and cokes, three purple starfuckers - for him to be doing the robot in a strange sort of avant-garde dance battle with Hobi and Jimin. You're not really sure what you're looking at as Jeongguk moves his body in a way you never need to see him move his body - but you find it hilarious. He's both smooth and awkward in his movements. None of it quite makes sense.
You smile through it all. Endlessly. Affectionately. Adoringly.
And then you're laughing, too.
Might just be the vodka. Might be the nerves of Hayun's eyes being on you. Most likely, it's because Jeongguk looks ridiculous. So sexy in one moment, and so goofy in the next.
You never know what's coming next. He almost stumbles over to you as you nurse on a drink by the sofas. Regains his balance. Tries to play it cool. Is suave as he says, "you good down there, B?" - but then he sinks down into the sofa beside you, a silly grin on his rum-drunk lips. You find that you'd welcome all his surprises, good or bad.
He hiccups. Scolds himself. Asks you how you are. Hiccups again. Listens as you tell him to hold his breath. Hiccups as he's doing it. Gives up. Hiccups freely.
He's still got a drink in his hand, so you take it from him and have a sip or two. He doesn't protest. Rabbits on about something neither of you will remember in the morning. The club lights hit him in all the right places, making his glittered cheekbones appear even more majestic than they already were.
"More glitter," you muse. "You need more glitter."
"Y'know," he slurs, looking all very poised and serious, a finger pointing as he speaks. "I was thinking the exact same thing."
He chats absolute shit while you dapple his cheeks with more pretty sparkles. They match his eyes, now.
You've managed to avoid Hayun since returning, and you're secretly pleased that Jeongguk has done the same.
Aside from a few awkward glances when you both arrived back to greet your friends, he's deliberately steered clear. Wants an orderly mind before they speak again.
He's still disgruntled by the fact you found her so intolerable you were willing to spend New Year alone just to not be near her. Trusts you. Trusts your judgement (even if you did set him up with Jiyeong). Trusts you always see the good in people, but knows you struggled to see the good in her.
Thinks maybe life would have been easier if he met you first.
Hayun over by the bar with Nabi and Tae. They seem to be her closest friends amongst the circle. Yoongi didn't say a single word to her all night, but Seoyeon was pretty friendly with her.
They left just after midnight, and were gone by the time you and Jeongguk returned from the courtyard. Namjoon's working the early shift tomorrow - "the news isn't gonna write itself" - so he'd dipped with them, too.
Like Yoongi, Jimin gives Hayun the cold shoulder. It's expected, given how close he is to Jeongguk.
You're unaware of the fact that she and Jimin go way back. Knew each other as kids. If anyone should have still been pally with her, it would be him - but he's the only one who knows how much Jeongguk suffered because of her. He knows the situation almost as well as he knows the plotline for The Notebook, and considering that it's his go-to hangover movie (while also considering how often he's hungover), it's safe to say he's got a decent understanding of it.
Jimin will never be on Hayun's side. He told her years ago that this would be the consequence of her dicking Jeongguk around, and is a man of his word when it comes to his friends. Used to really eat him up, how easily she let go of their friendship. Counts it as a blessing, now.
As he stands by the bar and notices what's going on with you, Jeongguk and a tube of liquid glitter, he smiles. Doesn't have a clue what happened with Jiyeong. Doesn't care. Really couldn't give a shit for any other girl in Jeongguk's life. Is just glad he has you.
You've been good for him.
"What's going on with them?" Hayun asks as she joins him at the bar. Is a little annoyed Jeongguk has been so... avoidant. It's a change to the norm. Jeongguk doesn't do change. Something feels... off.
Jimin's smile fades. She still tries to be his friend. It annoys him. "Nothing."
She laughs. It's insincere.
"I've got a pair of eyes, Jimin. He's sat there like a lovesick puppy while some girl covers him in fucking glitter," she sneers.
"So? Your point?"
"It's fucking weird."
Jimin rolls his eyes. Exhales a deep sigh. "You've not been here, Hayun. You can't come back and decide that everything is awful just because it isn't the way you left it. Life's moved on. You should try it, sometime."
"That's not it," she says.
"So what is it?" Jimin questions. He doesn't really want to be having this conversation, but everyone's fucked. He thinks he'd rather know if she's up to no good. Might not remember it in the morning, but at least he'll know now.
"He's changed."
"He's happy," Jimin says bluntly. "That's what's changed."
"She's not his girlfriend," Hayun states.
Jimin knows about Jeongguk's desire to call things off with Jiyeong. Doesn't know about the fact he kind of already has. Also doesn't think it's his place to air Jeongguk's dirty laundry, so he says the safest thing he can.
"Nor is Jiyeong, if that's what you're getting at. Not sure if you remember, but Gguk has a hard time saying no to girls who treat him like shit," he says with a little venom. "His relationships are frankly none of your business. You revoked rights to that sort of information years ago."
"I'm just concerned," she says - and she sounds like she actually means it. Jimin doesn't buy it for a second, but lets her talk. "I used to know him better than anyone. It's like looking at a stranger, now."
"And who's fault is that?" Jimin snaps, but either Hayun is too drunk to really notice or too narcissistic to actually care.
Instead of actually responding, Hayun muses aloud. "All of it...the glitter, the puppy dog eyes... her attitude problem... It all just screams quarter-life crisis."
She's unaware that your glitter session ended a few minutes ago. Is unaware that you've dashed to the staff room to put your phone on charge. Is unaware that you'd sent Jeongguk on the hunt for more drinks.
Doesn't realise until Yeonjun flashes a grin, and says, "fuckin' hell. Shoulda put a bet on you morphing into Disco Ball."
Jeongguk smirks, resting his palms on the bar. He is, admittedly, DB2.0 at this point. There's glitter in his hair . "Starfuckers?"
"Trust me to make them?" Yeonjun checks - not that Jeongguk is stepping a foot behind the bar, not when he's as trashed as he is. The palms resting on the bar aren't just because he knows he looks good - it's because he needs to steady himself.
He nods. Taps Jimin on shoulder. "Starfucker?"
"Stupid question."
"I think the word you were looking for is 'yes'," Jeongguk grins, turning his attention back to Yeonjun. "Three, please, mate."
Hayun doesn't hide the smile on her face. Some things, apparently, don't change. She likes Jeongguk when you aren't around.
"Hey, buddy," she smiles in that way she always did when she'd been up to no good and wanted him on her side again.
Jeongguk is silent. Isn't smiling. Doesn't look at her. Just simply says: "Careful, Hayun."
"Hmm?" she questions, wondering what on earth she needs to watch out for. The bar's nearly empty, now.
"Watch your mouth when you're chatting shit," he says dryly, his voice just as flat as his eyes are vacant. "You never know who's listening."
Yeonjun can't help but smirk. Has been watching Jeongguk's entire life blow up right in front of his very eyes all night, and it just never ceases to surprise him. Has no idea who this bitch is in front of him, but the way Jeongguk looks like he wants to chew her up and spit her out? Oh, he is living for it.
He pours the shots. Decides the bar needs a good wipe-down. Stays close just to listen in.
Is surprised when he hears Jeongguk mention you by name. Had almost forgotten you actually have one. Is so used to calling you Disco Ball.
Admittedly, he thinks there's a tenderness to the way Jeongguk says your name. Thinks it's really fuckin' sweet.
He says your name, knocks back his shot, then says, "I dunno what you said to her earlier, but you were outta line. She's our friend." He passes the next shot over to Jimin. Finally looks down at Hayun. Is surprised when it doesn't hurt like he half thinks it should. He's never spoken to her like this before. "So play nicely, and keep her name out your mouth unless you're telling her how pretty her glitter looks."
Hayun thinks Jeongguk's gone absolutely clinically insane.
Yeonjun thinks this is brilliant .
From the corner of his eye, Jeongguk notices the staff room door open and close, so he picks up the spare shot that Hayun mistakenly thought was hers. As you approach, glittery and gorgeous like always, he holds it out for you to take.
"Oh, you star. Thank you," you beam, accepting it without a second thought. You ignore Hayun.
"Charging?" Jeongguk asks, just to make sure the dodgy wire in the staff room is working. You nod, and assure him it's fine. "Dancefloor?"
Again, you nod. "Please."
Yeonjun thinks he's gonna watch the security cameras back later just to see all of that unfold again. He's never seen a face look so much like a slapped arse, but Hayun? Offt . She's going through it.
"Y'know, maybe he has changed," Jimin smirks. "Ain't that a blessing."
Hayun is silent. Jeongguk has never spoken to her like that. Ever. Not even when they were fighting. The life she's returned to no longer has space for her, or so it feels like.
You're too drunk to care. Decide that you're better off pretending like she doesn't exist. You derive no joy from her existence, and think that this year you should only do things that make you happy.
When Jeongguk forces you to dance with him? You're happy.
When he yawns, and starts talking about kebabs? You're happy.
When he holds your hand and drunkenly traipses down the clubbing district to the kebab place he swears down laces their fries with crack? You're happy.
Happy when Jeongguk insists you walk instead of catching a cab, happy when he offers you a piggyback, happy when he doesn't put you down, not even in the elevator of his apartment complex.
Doesn't put you down until you're both sat on the floor between his kitchen area and sitting room. The lights are off, but early morning is breaking; the city intruding on your privacy.
Your hair is so long now, he thinks. How long has he known you? He can't remember. But it was short when you first met. Just above your shoulders. Now, it finishes midway down your chest. You're not the same person as you were back then, and nor is he.
It's a realisation; he's still learning about you. If somebody had asked him even a day ago how quickly your hair grows, he wouldn't have had an answer. Had never noticed. Knows your roots need doing, but he likes them so never comments on them.
Jeongguk knows you so well, and yet not at all.
He knows your favourite drink in a dive bar, but doesn't know what you'd get at bottomless brunch with the girls. Knows that you demolish Psy's It's Art in a noraebang, but has no idea what your favourite song is. Knows so much and yet knows nothing at all.
Knows your fears; doesn't know your hopes.
The realisation upsets him.
And so he asks. Lets you drunkenly natter on about your childhood dreams; plays the band you said soundtracked your childhood from his phone. It's set on the floor a little bit away from you. He chooses not to play it through a proper speaker. There's an intimacy to this. Thinks it's important you keep this shit analogue.
There's a dozen birds above Jeongguk's bed that outline the a-z of your intimacy textbook, but none of them include this.
None of them mentions talking about your childhood pet, and watching Jeongguk's pretty little smile appear on his scrunched-up face as he enthuses over puppy pictures.
Not a single bird includes candid admittance of times you threatened to run away from your family home as a teenager; nor do they include the way the Jeongguk asks about your escape plans, and tells you how you definitely could have done it.
There are no birds that tell you to bare your soul, and yet, you do.
Jeongguk is so kind with it. Accepts it graciously, and touches it with tender hands; places it down beside his own, and finds you fit perfectly in the empty space.
He finds himself nervous. Not in the lip-biting, ring-flipping, unsure eyes kind of way you're used to seeing him in, well, any uncomfortable situation; but in a different way entirely.
He worries that the night will end. Is concerned that you'll leave, and that things will be cemented in this awkwardly 'okay' stalemate.
He knows more about you than he did a few hours ago; has learned itsy bitsy tales of childhood and saw your face cringe as he scoured your mum's facebook page for pictures of your teenage haircut that you swore was cool at the time (not that his mother's kitchen scissor bowl cut was much better).
You've an idea of the layout of his family home, thanks to an overly explained prank that he says he pulled on his brother, which you also learn resulted in no eyebrows for either of them (another thing to thank his mother for ( "a punishment to match the crime" is how Jeongguk phrased it as he mindlessly stroked over his since-recovered brows)).
These aren't little things to know about one another. They're candid revelations packaged in awkward smiles and tied with liquor-laced ribbons.
Little presents, squirrelled away in each of your minds; reminders that the most intimate we can be with another person is when we're fully clothed.
Foolish of you not to consider that. C'est la vie.
That's what Jeongguk worries about. He worries that you'll leave, and the physical intimacy won't have matched the emotional intimacy and it will fuck with your head. Will have you ignoring him, or avoiding him.
You don't say anything, but as you watch him get to grips with a karaoke mic by the sofa, a song about makgeolli playing in the background, his giggles echoing into the speaker system, you don't ever want to avoid him again. Hated the time spent keeping a distance. Life is so much better when he's around.
He encourages you up, and forces you to dance with him like a pair of lunatics to an old Psy song. It's one of the ones Psy would always sing at his university campus shows, and when you mention this, Jeongguk cannot fathom the fact you've seen him live . Forces you to find it on youtube. Tries to find you in the crowd - but it's like a game of where's wally.
Eventually, he gives up. Says he's found you. Points to the mirror in the corner of the room - and when you look over and see the pair of you as you are, you decide that maybe bad decisions would be a good idea.
Glitter speckled, you're both messes. Still in your club clothes, there's something funny about the way your hair is in a lopsided bun on top of your head, his hair kind of all over the place. You'd be forgiven for thinking the pair of you had been at it - when in reality, all you'd been doing was singing your hearts out in a make-shift home noraebang.
You're busy laughing, toying with his little tufts of hair that stick out on end when his front door beeps, Jimin finally entering the code to return home. Dawn is breaking, and you're surprised that he's alone. He's busy chewing on a sotteok sotteok stick - mini sausages and rice cakes threaded onto a wooden skewer - to pay you much attention. The spicy sauce drips into the container he's holding, which you both recognise to be from the convenience store down the road.
"Here he is," Jeongguk teases, as Jimin casts his housemate a small grin.
He's pissed - still drunk as a skunk - and slurs his words as he goes to speak. "There's a disco ball in our living room."
"It's not a party worth having if you don't have a disco ball," you assure him, to which he lets you know that it's not a party if there are only two people.
"When there's two," he mumbles through a mouthful of tteok, waving the half-empty stick in the air. "That's not a party."
"So what is it?" Jeongguk asks.
The way Jimin smiles before he starts talking makes Jeongguk regret ever asking.
"A couple."
Jeongguk shoos him away. Tells him he needs a good night's sleep before he inevitably watches The Notebook tomorrow morning, like he always does whenever he wakes up alone with a hangover. A depressing way to start the year, you think.
"DB, you like Gosling?" Jimin says, in his pants and t-shirt now, sitting on the floor. He's holding a glass of water like it's a sippy cup. You cannot believe you've had sex with him. Twice. "Wanna watch?"
"Prefer Reynolds," you say of the famous Ryan's.
Jeongguk squeezes your knee. Smiles. Remembers the Deadpool marathons with you and Danbi. Likes how much you've both integrated into one another's lives.
This is just reality now.
And for the first time in a long time, Jeongguk realises just how lucky he really is. His life may not be grand, and it may not be written about in history books; but it's a fulfilled life. He's happy.
Jimin falls asleep on the living room floor. Is dragged into his room by Jeongguk. Won't remember any of it in the morning.
When Jeongguk finally retires to his room, you're poking around at the birds on his desk.
"I missed some?"
He nods. Sits on the edge of his bed, legs spread, leaning back to rest on his elbows. He's tired. Doesn't wanna sleep. Has missed you too much. "Fell a couple of weeks ago."
You pout. "I've missed the kids."
Jeongguk is soft as he says, "they missed you, too."
Looking at you now as you scan his room, party dress sparkling as the early morning sun intrudes on his room, he struggles to remember what life was like before he knew you.
And then he wonders if he'll ever forget what it felt like to fuck you.
He doesn't mean to think about you improperly - he's just in that god-awful state of post-drinking pleasure-seeking.
He's not even gonna deny it. He wants you.
There's a dilemma that comes with Jeongguk's desire: morals.
He's not sure how drunk Jiyeong was. Isn't sure how intentional she was with her threats. Doesn't know if she'll remember what she did, or if she'll even realise Jeongguk called it quits when she wakes up the next morning.
If he were to check his phone, he'd see that one of the personal trainers from the gym had tagged him in an insta story with the caption 'come get your girl, bro', and said girl necking on with some guy Jeongguk wouldn't be able to pick out from a crowd.
He doesn't check his phone, though. Regardless of everything, he was never her boyfriend. The way she treated him is exactly why he never asked. She burnt her bridges time and time again. Jeongguk doesn't care to rebuild them again, not when she never lends a hand.
It's not that he wants to be cruel. It's not that he never cared. Nothing like that at all.
But he is drunk, and he is single, and fuck it's so nice to be around someone that makes him feel as lovely as you do.
When he holds out his hands, you gravitate towards him. Stand between his legs. Look down at his pretty face, hands delicate beneath his jaw.
Jeon Jeongguk is gonna ruin your life, you think.
As his hands stoke up your bare thighs, and encourages you onto his lap without a single word?
Life, ruined. You're certain.
The way you do whatever he asks of you has you considering that maybe your life isn't even yours anymore. His. All his.
You know you shouldn't entertain this. The Jiyeong shit is too fresh. Hayun, too - but that only encourages you. You have what she wants. You'd like to keep it that way.
His grip on your waist is tight as he pulls you up his lap, the thick ridge of his bulge beneath you perfectly positioned to rut up against you.
There's hesitation to your movements; delicacy.
His are the opposite. Decisive. He knows what he wants - and as he uses his grip to push you further down onto his crotch, your soft whimpers let him know that you want it, too.
"Gguk," you whisper, heart beating so fast you're scared it might short circuit. He nudges his nose against yours. Nods. Could kiss you, if he wasn't behaving himself.
It's laughable, really, how he's humping himself up against you, and considers it 'good' because he isn't kissing you.
Your voice is barely audible when you say, "I hate my rules."
Jeongguk's jaw tenses. His eyes close, nostrils a little flared as he tries to control his breathing. Nudges his nose a little deeper against yours.
"Me too, B."
He despises them. Loathes them. Will never break them. No matter how hard is cock is and how difficult it is to think straight when he's suffocated by your hair. They're yours to break. Yours alone.
So while the admission makes him needy - gets him squeezing at your soft flesh, body grinding a little faster - he keeps his lips away. Kind of. There's a very small gap for you to close.
You could do it.
Could sink your lips down onto his, and experience what it's like to feel his moans vibrate into your mouth. Could let his tongue lick against yours. Could hold his jaw, lips hard and deliberate as they press against each other.
Could do a million little things. Your nipples are hard just from the thought of it all, and your thin lace bra hides nothing. Nor does your dress.
Jeongguk can feel them against his chest. Can't stop himself from tightly squeezing at them, his thumbs settling over your hardened bud. He rubs against them, knowing just how sensitive they are, even through your clothes, and is pleased when your breathing starts to get heavier.
A moan gets trapped in your throat, nails scratching against the nape of his neck. You're matching his movement, hips grinding against him.
You wonder how long it's been since he used someone else to relieve him. Find yourself worried it hasn't been long enough. Don't want him thinking about her while he's with you. It's not like you can control his mind, but then again, you're unaware of the catastrophic hold you have on him.
He takes a second to scan your eyes, and as much as you want to hold his gaze, you're distracted by his glitter. His cheeks, the rogue specks on his nose, his jaw... along the indent of his cupid's bow.
Jeongguk has enough experience with glitter-induced mindlessness, so knows that's what's happening - but he wants to check that you still want this. Still want him . It's been a while, and he knows the fact he'd been with someone else could hinder your desire for him.
Funny. He's not thinking about the fact you hooked up with Jimin at all. Couldn't give a shit about that.
All he can think about you, and your wants, your needs. Brushes a strand of hair away from your face, as he says, "if this is too weird, we can stop."
But you just shake your head, a soft smile on your pouty lips. He licks across his own.
"I've missed you," you admit all rather foolishly. Laugh, then cover your face with your hands. Jeongguk likes the rings you're wearing. Always the same three. Thin and dainty, they're as much a part of you as your glitter is.
His fingers wrap around your wrists, as he pulls them down. There's a little resistance from you, but eventually, you concede. Look at him a little helplessly, but are pleased to see him smiling.
"Missed you, too."
When you chirp a small hum in reply, Jeongguk laughs. Holds your waist again, stroking your sides ever so tenderly. Reassures you. "Of course I have. You know how much I like having you like this."
You narrow your eyes now, but it's playful. Feign a little offence, just to keep him smiling. "Have me like what exactly, Jeon?"
He rolls his eyes, but just pushes the hair that's covering your neck away from you. Leans a little closer, and presses a kiss into your skin. The contact of his lips, a little wet and torturously firm, has you sighing, hips pulling up. He encourages this. Grips onto your waist a little tighter. Pushes you down onto his crotch. Lets himself grind up against you once, twice, then husks against your neck, "Like this, B. Like you wanna get that pretty pussy of yours all messy for me."
He pulls back. Holds you tightly in place over his cock, of which he knows is embarrassingly hard. Sometimes he thinks all you have to do is glance in his direction to get him like this.
The way you're looking at him - eyes all wide, lips parted ever so slightly - gets his hips pulsing again ever so gently. Your body moves with his, the sensation of his hardness beneath you making you feel a way that could only be compared to Nirvana.
You're the one who pulls him closer, now, a hand cradling his jaw, the other sinking into his hair. It's a control thing. Want him close, but can also pull him away. It excites him. Always does whenever you take the reins back from him.
As your grip tightens in his hair, his breathing shallows. Nose nudging against his, you know you're a little too close. Know you're being mean. Know how much he must be dying to close the gap, 'cause you are too.
"I do," you whisper back. "It's already messy."
"Hmm?" he moans an incoherent reply. Has his lips firmly pressed shut, cause he doesn't trust himself. Has closed his eyes, too. Can't risk it.
"Mhmm," you murmur back. "So messy, Koo."
The way you soften the sound of his name has him desperate to fuck himself into you. You're so soft, and tender, and everything he's been missing.
"For me?" He asks, because formulating words is the only way he can stay focused - but even that's failing him, now.
"All for you."
His cock throbs beneath you. He knows he must be messy, too, precum pooling from the tiny slit at the very tip of his cock. Hates that he's trapped in his clothes, but loves the idea of slowly getting you out of yours.
"All mine," he smiles to himself, lost in the way he feels. You nod. Giggle. Let your hair drape around his face as your forehead leans on his. He laughs, too.
You're both highly aware of the fact that this is wrong .
You shouldn't be acting like this. Shouldn't be feeling this.
But you are.
And you'll continue to do so until the night draws to its inevitable end.
"What should I do about it, then, huh?" Jeongguk asks, tilting his pretty face up a little bit. The glitter on his cheeks catches in the light of his bedside table. The room around you feels too big. You don't acknowledge it. Only him.
You're so quiet when you reply. Know that you're saying things you shouldn't be; tempting him like you're some kind of divine serpentine being. Jeongguk's got one trailing up his arm in thick black ink. He likes snakes. Likes you, more. Likes how delicate your voice is when you say, "clean it up."
One of his hands grips your ass. Squeezes. Hard. Makes you mewl.
"And how should I do that?" He asks softly, knowing that if he doesn't get some kind of release soon, the friction of your still-clothed pussy over the bulge in his trousers will end him. Write him off entirely. Might even make him die.
You could be demure in your answer. You could play coy. Stop this from escalating
Or you could continue grinding against him, breath laboured, heartbeat unstable. You could run your thumb along his bottom lip. Nudge your nose against his in that tender you always do.
And then you could simply say, "Eat me out."
"Yeah?" He would say. Would want you to repeat it.
"Yeah," you'd reply. "Eat me out. Please."
So that's exactly what you do.
Jeongguk's mouth waters at the mere suggestion of getting his tongue between your folds. Has thought about it so many times. Never thought he'd see the day that you ask for it.
The tiny 'please' you whisper? The way you beg for it? His cock aches. Needs relief from you.
You're finicky to a fault though. Smirk as you say, "Real shame the bird hasn't fallen, isn't it?"
There are a few birds on his desk, but none of them are that specific bird.
Of all the ones you wrote together, there's only been one that you've ever known the identity of as it watches over you.
There's a small mark on its wing. You'd been holding the pen between your teeth as you'd folded it, but been distracted by Jeongguk mumbling to himself. Had narrowly avoided leaving a blotch of ink on crisp white sheets.
Instead, you'd cursed a bird - and so for the past six months, you'd look up at birds and wonder when it would fall. It was the only one you felt apprehensive of, but that simply was down to fact you knew what it was.
"Maybe we can do an I.O.U. for the birds?" He offers. Is keen.
You know you shouldn't cherry-pick the birds. It goes against their free will. Playing God will only ever end in tears - but you're still tipsy, and all you can think about is how much you need this.
It's been so long since anyone has eaten you out that now the idea is floating, you won't be able to rest until it's happened.
His hands stroke up the back of your legs as you stand up on his bed. His head is level with the tops of your thighs, so he lets his lips brush against them. Presses wet kisses up them. Is slow. You take a little extra pulling the right bird down. Lean in such a way that he's dangerously close to your panties. He can smell your arousal. Wants to taste it.
You settle back into his lap, bodies close as you hand him the bird. He looks at you. Wonders if there's magic behind those starry eyes of yours. Thinks there must be.
When he opens it up, and is greeted with the exact same act you've asked him to perform, he knows there must be magic in you.
The truth of it all is that you'd just made a bad decision when you made it. Shouldn't have dropped the pen. But you did; and now you're here.
"Make me feel good," you implore as you toy with his hair.
He wants his lips on your body; wants to feel the pressure of his lips brushing against yours.
Just isn't brave enough to take things that far, yet.
He tucks a little bit of your own hair behind your ear. Studies your face.
"Look at me when you ask."
You're slow to do as he asks. Spend a little time toying with his necklaces, instead. You know his eyes are on yours. He could count your lashes if he wanted - but he doesn't. Mainly because he can't think straight, let alone count above the number ten.
"B," he encourages, index finger curling beneath your chin. He tilts your head upwards, your eyes trailing up his features until they settle on his eyes.
"Want you to make me feel good."
He nods. Is eager as he does so. It's so hard to not kiss you.
"I will. Gonna make you feel so good, Byeol. You want that? Want me to make your pussy feel good?"
You nod your head. Widen your eyes as you beg. "Please."
Jeongguk respositions you. Gets you sitting in his spot. Stands as he grabs his shirt by the nape of his neck and pulls it over his head. Chucks it at you. Makes you both laugh - but fuck. He's gorgeous .
He grips the bulge in the front of his trousers. Groans .
"See how hard you make me?" He asks. Waits for you to nod. Unbuttons his slacks and lowers the zip, so the top of his dark boxer briefs poke through. He palms at himself. Presses his lips together as a muffled grunt stifles in his throat.
The subtle movement of his muscles beneath his warm skin has you entranced. He's human, yes, but built like a God. Worshipping him feels like the only appropriate course of action - and yet as he guides you over and positions you how he likes it - face down, ass up - he's the one who's gonna be worshipping you.
Eyes closed, you smile into the scent of his sheets. Hadn't realised how much you missed how soft they always are; cotton fresh and a worthy home for the night. Of all the boys you've ever dated, not of them have cared in the same way that Jeongguk does about his laundry.
He's like that in all aspects of his life, though. Details. His senses. They align and overlap, and Jeongguk has to have things in a specific way, otherwise he isn't happy.
You confuse him, in that way. You're haphazard to a fault, and Jeongguk knows that glitter never really fit into his idea of what it takes to build a home, but he misses it being on his sheets.
He pushes your dress up, over your ass. Doesn't look at your satin-covered pussy 'cause he's trying to hold off. Grapples the flesh of your ass, then delivers a short, sharp spank. Likes the way you gasp, then sigh.
Doesn't like that he can't see the smile he knows is on your lips though.
It's all rather confusing. This is how he likes to do things.
And yet he finds himself getting you back into your original position. Walks over to his door. Checks it's locked.
Jeongguk turns around to look at you, eyes dark, his intentions perfectly clear.
He prowls a little closer. Taps on your knees and encourages you to open your legs. Not once does his gaze drop from your eyes. Not when your legs spread, not when he lowers himself, not when he can fucking smell your arousal. He wants to. Wants to look at your pretty little pussy so badly - but he'd locked in on your eyes.
His hands slide up your thighs, pushing your dress to your hips. Your underwear is black, and your wetness has seeped through - but he doesn't acknowledge it. Not yet.
He lowers his lips, but keeps his eyes on yours still, as he presses a wet kiss to your thigh. Up he odesseys; one, two, three kisses. A trail of evidence is left, little dewy marks mapping out his journey. He leans over. Repeats it on your other thigh.
One of his hands grips your waist, while the other strokes your thigh that's without his lips. He's taking his time. Keeping his eyes on you. Can see how your chest moves; knows that you're as desperate for this as he is. He licks his lips, and smirks.
"So patient," he husks, oh-so-affectionately. Squeezes the soft flesh of your thigh. Loves how you feel. So warm, and soft, and made for him. "Such a good girl for me, aren't you?"
You nod, a tiny whine catching on your lips.
"What was that?" He asks, before his eyes finally glance down towards your covered cunt. It's only supposed to be for a second, but he didn't anticipate quite how wet you'd already be; how it would be shining through the fabric of your panties. They're silky today, and it just makes your slick look even messier.
He inhales a deep breath, and lets out a shallow laugh as his head drops in defeat. Can't even play it cool. He wants you. Wants you more than he needs air to breathe.
It's just pheromones, and he knows this. Knows how gets when he likes a girl. Knows how fucking nasty he can get in pursuit of her scent. In the very worst cases, he finds himself enjoying feet . Underarms. Underwear. Anywhere that's gonna release them.
He always liked the smell of your perfume; the fragrances you'd layer over yourself to mask your natural scent - but it's 5am, and you've been in a club all evening. Your perfume has worn off. This is all you.
And he knows he's utterly screwed.
His lips trail up your thigh. Head tilts. It's his nose, now, that's making contact with your clothed cunt. He's slow. Tepid. Taking his time, 'cause he's thought about this during so many lonely nights and doesn't wanna waste it.
His nose rests against the fabric that's keeping you away from him. His perpetually dewy nose dampens as he nudges against you. He inhales. Is shaky, in the way that he breathes. "Fuck."
The pressure of his nose against you deepens. He groans. Mumbles some incoherent shit about how fucking good you smell. Presses his lips against the soaked satin. Kisses. Get his lips all glossy.
He kitten licks, then drags his tongue up your underwear. Knows he'll get so much more of your taste if he just takes them off, but he's scared. Worries that having your cunt in his mouth will ruin him for the rest of his life.
And so he continues taking his time. Uses his tongue. Teases where he thinks your clit could be. He's not too far off, but it's hidden by your folds that have swollen quite considerably. He's teasing too much. Getting you too needy. His thumb presses over the wettest part of your panties, where he knows your hole must be. The way the material gives just a little, and the way you sigh into his touch only proves this.
"Please," you whisper.
Jeongguk nods, not once losing contact with your cunt, until he slowly pulls back. Runs his fingers over your soaked panties. Studies the way they cling to you. Looks up at you as he gently massages you. Runs his index finger under the laces edge of your panties. "You want them off, B?"
The way you're looking at him - eyes all wide, lips pouty - has him desperate for you. You could ask him to spend eternity with his face buried in your cunt, and he thinks he would.
He taps the side of your thigh - "hips" - and encourages you to raise yourself. His fingers hook over the sides of your underwear.
"Dress," he says, indicating his desire for you to take that off too, now that you can. Is too busy staring at your cunt, and the way your slick juices string to your underwear as he pulls them down to even realise you're taking it off. Bra, too.
Jeongguk is tentative as he gets your panties off. Hold your feet as he slips your ankle through them, and repeats. Doesn't get rid of them immediately.
He's so fucking hard he thinks he might die - and it only gets worse when he brings your sopping wet panties to his nose. It's lewd . The way he inhales your scent is erotic to the point of it being perverse - but it has you leaking for him. His dark eyes fall open, and land on yours.
The material hooks over his fingers, as Jeongguk reaches over to squeeze one of your tits. He's missed them. Will scream 'I'm an ass guy' until the cows come home, but knows it's your nipples he'll be sucking on when you inevitably milk him of his cum a little later. Your panties drag over the hardened bud of your nipple as he toys with you. Smears your juices all over it. Glistens as Jeongguk sits up a little to bring your panties to your mouth.
"Wanna see how good you taste?" He asks, as if you aren't parting your lips for him regardless. You nod, all pathetic and needy as your tongue rests flat for him to do as he pleases - which, at the moment, is pushing your slick-covered panties into your mouth. Thinks they'll probably help. Will muffle your whines, at least. Works a treat as you whimper a little when he taps your jaw. 'Close your mouth', he's saying silently - and so you do.
He pulls back a little, fingers dipping to slide between your folds, eyes on your face, still. Smirks. Uses the fingers that aren't exploring your slippery cunt to squeeze at your chest. Your eyes are so wide. You whimper. He deliberately didn't stuff your underwear completely in your mouth. Likes seeing the satin. Likes knowing how willing you are to do anything for him. His thumb swipes over the slick on your nipple. Massages it in - and decides it's a waste. Leans down to latch his lips around your hardened bud.
He's the one whining now. Loves the way you feel in his mouth. Loves licking the taste from your skin. The fingers toying with your folds search for your slit, and push themselves into you as Jeongguk sucks on your nipple.
Not a boob guy, not a boob guy, not a boob guy - and yet as he pulls himself back, releasing you with a slight pop from the suction of his lips leaving your nipple, he smiles. Watches the way your tit wobbles, all soft, nipples hard, desperate for his return. He pushes his fingers deeper inside of you. Tells you how much he's missed them.
He reaches up to hook your panties in his fingers again. Pulls them from your mouth. Tosses them down. The way you're whimpering deserved to be heard, he decides.
His lips press a chaste kiss to your other nipple. Tongue flicks. He sucks. Just for a second. He's got places to be; a cunt plugged with his fingers that he's dying to taste again. Trailing down your skin, his lips leave a pretty dewy trail.
You hadn't been expecting the night to end like this, so while you're nice and neat and trimmed, your pussy is a little less bare than normal. Jeongguk likes it. Would never impose his preferences, but knows that this is it. Always has been. Enjoys the way your slick catches in your hair; how messy you look for him. Your juices string across your folds, and decides he can't keep his tongue away any longer.
The first lick is slow. Flat. He whines against you. Stalls his fingers, 'cause he wants to focus on the sensation; how warm you are, how delicious he thinks you taste. His tongue flicks as he reaches the northernmost point of your folds, and the way your body shudders a little is indication enough that he knows exactly where to focus. Of course he does. Your clit has swollen just as much as your folds, desperate for a little relief.
He doesn't give you it. Not yet. The lewd sounds of his fingers pushing back into your cunt makes him smirk. You're so unbelievably wet. Wetter than he thinks he's ever had you - and you've never been exactly dry for him. Maybe it's the alcohol. Maybe you've missed him. Maybe it's both. When his tongue presses back into your folds, you know it's neither of those things.
You're soaked because he just knows what he's doing. Understands your body. Drags his tongue up and down your cunt, fingers fucking themselves into you. The sensation is unbearable. You need more - and more is what he gives you when his spare hand eases your lips apart, spreading your pussy so that he can get better access to your clit. The tip of his tongue massages against you ever so gently. He's careful not to be too aggressive - until he spits at it.
"Shit," you whine, letting your back sink into his sheets. You'd been watching, but now all you want to do is feel . You're scared that watching him - his pretty lashes splayed over the top of his cheeks, his dewy, wet, nose nudging your clit, the way his tongue laps against it- will finish you off too quickly. And that's before you even consider the mirror on the far wall, and the way his broad back looks perfectly positioned with your legs hooked over his shoulders.
He spreads his spit with his thumb. Smirks as your body shudders. "You okay, B?"
"Mhmm," you mumble, teeth biting the pad of your palm beneath your thumb. You're trying to keep quiet.
"Asked you a question," he says as his thumb builds speed, flicking over you gently. He's careful, but controlled. Your body writhes from his touch, legs pushing down on his shoulders, encouraging his face back to where he belongs. He almost whispers as his lips ghost your clit. "Tell me you're okay. Chess is always an option."
Why the fuck you'd wanna play chess is beyond you - and then you remember. Oh, he's so attentive. So kind. So gentle. So deserving of a blowjob.
"I'm okay," you promise, and Jeongguk finally lets his lips wrap around your clit. There's a provocative nature to the way he lets himself get all breathless and grunty. His tongue licks tenderly against your clit, but his fingers have been going for so long he's scared he'll cramp.
The way you whimper when he pulls them out is like music to his ears. Needy and pathetic. Gets his cock all hard.
You loved being plugged by him. Love the fullness he gives you. Hate to lose it.
His hands push back your thighs now. He studies you. Watches the clear fluid leak from you. Knows that your pussy must be desperate for his cock. Doesn't want to let any go to waste, so quickly licks it up. Sinks his tongue into the entrance of your hole. Can't go too far, but doesn't care to. Just wants to tease. To taste you. Drink nectar straight from the source.
One of your hands clasps over his fingers by your thigh. The other tenderly scratches at his scalp. You love his hair like this, all messy and indicative of the fact he's been up to no good. As he pulls away from you, lips glossy, a string of slick briefly keeping him attached to you, lip ring coated in the very essence of you, you decide you never want another face between your legs again. He's too pretty. You'll always compare.
He looks up at you with total adoration, a lopsided grin on his face as you scratch behind his ear. He's well aware he must look like a fucking puppy dog, but he doesn't care.
"You're so good," you tell him. Want him to know. Smirk, because you're aware of the dog parallels, too. "Such a good boy."
That shouldn't make Jeongguk's cock twitch as much as it does.
The hand in his hair encourages him back down, and he decides to show you just how good he really can be. His tongue roams between your folds, licking, and lapping. He's fast, and he's intentional, lips pouting as they press kisses against you, and even more so when they suck your sensitive bud between them.
Eyes closed, hands in his hair, legs wrapping around his head, you think of how pretty he is; how unspoilt his features are. You've never seen a nose so perfectly sloped or a cupid's bow so idyllic. It's the perfect ridge for your juices to gather, and Jeongguk knows this. Already isn't looking forward to his shower, 'cause he doesn't wanna lose the scent of you.
His pace increases. Fingers sink back into you. He's taking you for all you're worth; will win your orgasm fair and square. Needs it. Thinks he'll die without it.
The sounds of Jeongguk eating your pussy echo into his room; his fingers pushing you to the point of no return as his tongue massages you to a hedonistic state of being. The pressure in the very pit of your tummy builds. Your grip on his hair tights. You curse. Whimper.
"Right there. Fuck . Right there."
He doesn't ease. Gets faster. Edges and edges until he can edge no further. The wave crashes over; your release dizzying and detrimental all in one blow. It jolts through you, legs shaking, hot walls clenching, breathless mewls of pleasure letting Jeongguk know just how well he did. He doesn't stop. Pushes you further. Gets you gasping.
"Gguk," you whimper. "I- Fuck."
He nods against you. Doesn't stop. Lets his nose nestle into your folds. Holds his tongue back, just to say, "this cunt... fuck ."
You giggle, now. Jeongguk feels you tightening as you do so. Eases his fingers from you. Keeps you spread apart. Wants to see how messy you are - but is cut short when you say, "c'mere."
He doesn't even think about it. Just discards himself of his clothes and comes to join you on his bed. Will do anything you ask of him. There's a silly little smile on his pussy-drenched lips as his head nestles next to yours, face still covered in glitter. He's so heavenly like this; so angelic when he's unmistakably yours.
You aren't really thinking as you move closer. Your natural inclination is to kiss him, for a job well done. You realise just in time. Stop yourself. Grin as you nudge your nose against his, not caring for the fact he's covered in your cunt.
He grins, too. Laughs a little. "Was that okay?"
You nod. Wanna kiss him so badly. Speak, just stop yourself. Echo a thought you've shared before. "You really should start an only fans."
He laughs again. It's hearty and wholesome, and pure - or as pure as it can be, when he's covered in evidence of making your pussy cum. Neither of you really care for cleaning up just yet. His smile is too big. Dimples too deep. Lines beneath his eyes too telling of his happiness. God, he's missed you.
"I'd be no good on my own," he tells you. "Would need you to help me out."
You protest. Tell him to buy one of those fake pussy fuck-toys. Says it's all he needs. He corrects you. Tells you they're fleshlights, but doesn't tell you he's got one hidden in the back of his drawer from a particularly dry spell.
"No, not those," you say. "I mean like, the full torso ones. The ones with tits."
"Why would I want one of them?" He smirks, as his hands are quite literally squeezing at your boobs. He's just keeping them warm. That's all. "Ass guy."
You don't even dignify him with a verbalised response. Just tilt your head down to where Jeongguk is rolling your nipples between his thumbs and forefingers.
"What?" He feigns indifference.
"Your lies will catch up with you," you promise him. He pushes your tits up as far as he can, dipping down to suck delicately on your nipples. Just for a couple of seconds. Maybe five. Six. Okay, ten - but you feel so nice in his mouth, so soothing - and then it's twenty seconds. Thirty. Forty.
He switches nipples. Repeats. Pulls away. Is so hard he thinks he might cum prematurely if he doesn't get a release soon.
You've completely altered his sense of desire. Ruined him for anyone else. You'd argue you've made him better. Deep down, he'd know it to be true.
"Gguk?"
"Hmm?" he mumbles a little lazily against your skin.
You toy with his hair, raking your finger through his silky waves. Any product he had been wearing in it seems to be redundant now, your hands too busy messing with it for it to hold its shape. He had looked so pretty all night.
Looks prettiest, now.
"I'm sorry I stole your chance to have a New Year's kiss," you say, thinking of how many girls must have wanted him.
The smile on his face falters a little. He's quiet for a moment, then speaks with absolute sincerity. "Meant what I said. I've a whole year for kisses, B. They can wait. Wanted to be with you when New Year came in."
"I feel bad," you whisper.
"Don't." He opens his eyes, and sees how stark your self-imposed guilt is. Your hands are still toying with his hair, so he holds onto your wrists and rests the pad of his thumb in the palm of your hand. Is contented when your fingers close down on it. He shakes your hand a little, and smiles tenderly. "Don't. Really, B. Are you sad?" He asks. "That you didn't have one, I mean? Did you want one?"
Answers are complex when they're both yes and no; much like this one. You would have wanted one for the sake of enjoying a silly little tradition - but you didn't wanna kiss a stranger, and didn't want to kiss those close to you, either.
And so you deflect with a joke. "Why? Are you offering?"
Stupid joke. Stupid fuckin' joke .
Jeongguk knows it's a joke. Weighs up how he could respond. Sincerity seems too heavy. Joking back seems too careless.
And so he tries honesty.
"Yeah," he whispers. "I am."
His lips ghost yours, 'cause he'll never be the one to put pressure behind them first. He wants to. Is dying to.
Thinks, in classic Jeongguk style, that he'll die if can't do it one day soon.
The way you always get so close to him, suffocate him in your hair and the scent of your perfume, drives him mad. He's spent so many hours trying not to kiss you. Has never shared the taste of your tongue, but has shared oxygen with you. Thinks there's nothing to be scared of - but knows that you are.
He'll never ridicule your fears. Not intentionally.
And so he is patient, and perfectly restrained with you.
Some say it's a virtue.
Yet as you wish he'd just do it - rip the band aid - you can't help but think of it as a vice.
He'll never do you wrong. Sometimes you wish he would.
But that's the thing about wishes. There's no divine intervention from an arbitrary God. No stars changing alignment. The luck you manifest is yours and yours alone. Wishes come true because you will it to be that way.
Jeongguks grip on your waist tightens as your nose nudges deeper against his. There's a deliberate nature to your movements; how your hand rests on his jaw and how your leg hooks over his hip. The fluidity of your bodies together makes it so easy.
The grip on your waist is diverted to your ass. His fingers squeeze. Lips pout. Hips roll.
He husks your name. Not disco ball. Not Byeol. Your actual fucking name. Fucking whines against your lips. Can barely fuckin' breathe. "Please."
Your lips brush his. No pressure. Just aligning. Seeing how his lip ring feels. Jeongguk's semi begins to stiffen as he rubs himself against you again. His breathing is fucked.
Slowly - nervously, timidly - you slip your lips between his. Sink into the space left between them. Your bottom lip is plush between his. He doesn't press down. He waits. Waits and waits and waits. Has been waiting for months. What hurt will a few seconds do?
The hand you're resting on his jaw pulls him closer. Dictates his moves. This is all up to you.
The way your body nervously awaits the pressure you're refusing to apply is so telling. The delicate buds of your nipples that Jeongguk has grown to adore are hard against his bare chest. He's having to be careful as he rubs up against you, because your pussy is getting wetter and wetter. Coated in everything you are, Jeongguk's throbbing cock slides between your folds, massaging you in a way that you'll never grow tired of.
Jeongguk wants to speak; to encourage you.
Any words spoken would result in the closing of his lips and the removal of your ability to choose this - and so he stays quiet. Moans a little when the friction of his foreskin sliding back against your wet folds gets a little too good.
You smile. Like the way it feels. Can feel the slick build, then leak from the depths of your cunt. Know that you're one overly-eager rut away from him fucking himself into you.
Maybe you should pull away. Maybe you should let him fuck you instead.
But you've come so far.
You're safe. Warm. Content. With your favourite person in the whole entire world.
If you can't kiss him, then who the fuck can you kiss?
You still your hips. So does he. Deepen the position of your lips, until you know they can go no further. His nose is nestled next to yours, a shallow breath reminding you that life will go on - you'll still breathe - even if your lips close down on his.
He's always told you that he's not scared of you.
It's time to reciprocate that.
And so silently, as you press your lips down into his, you let go of a fear that's been holding you back for far too long.
It takes Jeongguk a moment to kiss you back. He wants to be sure you're sure.
But you are.
His lips slowly accept this new sensation; the softness of your bottom lip, the feeling of your nose as it nudges against his, the pining sensation that's so often left on his lips being remedied.
He's kissing you. Slowly, silently, serenely. It lasts for hours, but also for just a second. You're not sure which is more accurate as your lips naturally part for a moment; to breathe. To assess. To realign. To repeat.
He kisses you again. Once. Twice. Deeper, a third time. His hips begin to rut. His moans vibrate against you. The slipperiness of your pussy is juxtaposed to the innocence of such pure kisses. Lips still on his, you reach down to where your bodies are so well acquainted, it's like interrupting a conversation. Your nimble fingers wrap around Jeongguk's length. He moans. Wants to say something, but can't. Doesn't want to stop kissing you.
You move your hips. Line him up. Nod into the kiss. A hard breath exhales from his nose against your cheek, his whine echoing into your mouth as the tip of his cock penetrates your entrance. The fit is tight - snug - but so welcome. It's like coming home, he thinks.
"You're so fucking good," he whines into your lips, then presses down against them once more. "Such a good fuckin' girl for me."
He means it. You are good for him. Give him somewhere he belongs; somewhere he'll never feel alien. A girl full of galaxies, yet he's home no matter which cosmic entity you remind him of on any given day of the week.
You whine a little as his hips pulse up, pushing his dick into you. He's so big, and you're still so sensitive from how well he ate you out earlier, but you think you'd rather die than not see this through. You'll take the overstimulation, take whatever he'll give you, just to feel that fullness you only get from him.
Jeongguk grunts as he fucks himself into you. Gets breathless. Gets moany. Gets mean. Nasty.
"Gonna nut inside you," he tells you. You smirk against his lips. You love it when he gets all chatty and tells you all kinds of shit he never would if he wasn't on the brink of an orgasm. "God, I'm gonna fill your pussy up with my cum. Gonna fill you so well. Fill you forever."
That's not exactly how anatomy works and you go to tell him as such - but he changes position. Gets you on your back. Sits on his heels. Grips your waist with one hand, your chest with the other. Squeezes. Gets you whining. He pulses his hips slowly. Once. Fuck . Twice. Yes . And then he's back to a pace that feels more like him; fast and rough.
The sound of his skin slapping against yours is almost as loud as the breathless moans you can't be bothered to hide. He's making you feel so good as he pumps himself into you. It's only fair he knows just how well he's doing.
He squeezes at one of your boobs. Pinches your nipple. Pulls a little. Makes you moan. Does the same to the other side. Watches as they move from the momentum of his hips. Is fucking obsessed. Can't believe he wasted so many years convinced he was an ass guy. Loves your ass, granted, but fuck .
And when your hand sinks down to play with your clit while he's fucking his fat cock into your tight hole? God. Jeongguk thinks he might just die.
Tells you so.
"Gonna kill me off, you are."
You giggle. The way your pussy throbs around him? Yeah. Chances of death? Rapidly increasing.
"Feel good?" you check, just in case.
He nods. Wishes you could experience what it's like to fuck you; how good feel. How much he loves being trapped inside you. Makes his already desperate cock throb when he has those moments of clarity; he's fucking you. His cock? It's inside you. It's a simple thought process, but one that always overwhelms him.
Sinking down to suck on your nipples, tits in a white-knuckle death grip, Jeongguk knows if he thinks in any great depth, then that will be it. He'll cum. He wants this to last. Knows it can - but also knows your pussy is gonna make him cum so so soon.
So lost in his thoughts, he almost doesn't notice when you call his name. If it weren't for your hand cupping beneath his chin and pulling him down, he might not have realised at all. "Gguk?"
He follows your lead. Is about to sink his lips in yours when he replies, "Yeah, baby?"
He doesn't mean to call you that. Knows he absolutely should not have called you that. Kisses you again to distract from the fact he did. Ruts into you faster. Harder. Revels in the tightness of your walls, and the softness of your lips.
Knows he should check what you needed, but it was nothing, Just wanted him to look at you. But he'd called you baby. Oh, you're all sorts of fucked up. Try not to think about it. Your distraction method? A kiss . The waters are getting so muddy. This is so bad. Detrimental.
But fuck. He's close. So close. Doesn't wanna stop; any of it. Doesn't wanna stop fucking you. Doesn't wanna stop kissing you. God. He can't believe he can . Can't believe he knows what your moans sound like when they're vibrating into his mouth. Can barely wrap his head around the fact your tongue is in his mouth. He thinks he's going crazy. Thinks he might have already died. There's no way he can feel this at home inside another person's body.
But he does.
Knows that there's no pussy that's ever gotten him like this. Would be foolish to think you're the only person who will ever make him feel this way, but he quite enjoys playing the fool.
Jeongguk's skin is clammy. Sweat beads on his skin. Some of it catches on your skin as you move your hands from his back to cup his sharp jaw, and find yourself obsessed . Primitive desire, you think. Just like Jeongguk's obsession with your scent. All just survival of the fittest, built to breed, type shit. Of all the people he could fuck his sperm into, his body seems to think you'd be a good match. He trusts it. Agrees with it.
"Fucking me so well," you tell him. "Working so hard."
He nods, forehead resting in the crook of your neck. "Working so hard, B. Wanna make you feel good."
There are no words to articulate the way Jeongguk feels inside of you. No size grand enough, no adjective complimentary enough. No sensation even close to the euphoria that comes with being fucked by Jeon Jeongguk.
You press a tiny little kiss to his lips. "You do." And then you kiss him again. Deeper. Tug on his bottom lip with his teeth. Get him whining. His cock stalls. Left leg begins to shake. His right will follow, but it's always in that order. Left, then right. The way he whimpers into your mouth makes you wanna edge him for all of eternity - but he deserves this orgasm.
"Where should I- Fuck. Byeol, I'm there. I'm gonna- Fuck . Where do you want it?"
"Tits," you say without a second thought. You wanna watch him cum. Wanna see it. Wanna see how pretty his cock looks as his cum pulses out of it.
You hate how it feels when Jeongguk pulls out - how empty you are - but when he's shakily getting himself in position, jaw hanging slack, brows threaded together, lewd moans escaping his mouth as he wanks him over your tits, you know its worth it.
"That's it," you encourage. "All over my tits."
Jeongguk curses. Tightens the way he's straddling over you. Tugs at himself. Loses his fucking mind when your hand wraps around his. He lets go. It's all you; one hand around his shaft, the other softly playing with his balls. "Yeah. Yeah, Like that. Oh, fuck."
His legs shake; torso tenses. Has to grab onto his headboard just to keep himself from fucking keeling over. He's stimulated to a point he doesn't think he's reached before. Doesn't even feel like his body is his.
"Cumming," he mumbles. "I'm fucking cumming."
The way his cock twitches, balls tightening, is enough to confirm this. You keep going.
"All over my tits," you say again, just to really drive it home. "Good boy."
His whimpers are quiet as he unloads his cum onto you in thick, creamy spurts. You hold his cock against one of your tits, and let his spunk trail down them. A few more releases drip onto your skin. He sits up straighter. Looks at the mess. Wants to fuck you all over again.
He grips his still-hard cock and spanks it against your cum-covered tits. Massages his leaky head against them; rubs his cum into your skin. Lets go of his cock. Grips your tits instead. Pushes them both together, and watches as his cum smears all over them. Squeezes your nipples. Wants them in his mouth. Moves a little down the bed, and positions himself beside you. Encourages you to face him as his tongue licks against your cummy chest. He circles around your nipple. Takes it in his mouth. Sucks. One of his hands grips your other boob. Holds it close to his face so he can switch between your nipples, of which he does. Sucks for a moment or so. Teases with his tongue. Then switches. It's a back and forth that has you going insane.
And when his spare hand dips down to play with your folds? Sinks a finger back into your soaked cunt? Heaven. He fucks a second finger into you. A third. Keeps his lips suctioned around your nipples, utterly obsessed with the way it feels to have them in his mouth.
He's a little careless with his fingers, but it's exactly what you need to come undone again. You need it rough. Need him to override the overstimulation you're fighting. It doesn't take long. Your body writhes, but he keeps you close. Doesn't bother talking you through it. You both know it's his tongue against your sensitive nipples that's working the magic. Words would be wasted.
Your orgasm hits you hard. Fast. It waves over you so violently that you almost kick him. Jeongguk smirks as he begins to feel your orgasm contract around his fingers.
Your wetness seeps from you, Jeongguk still plugging your pussy. Your muscles are tight in a way he doesn't think he's experienced before. Your climax is violent. All consuming. You have to bite his pillow just to stop yourself from screaming.
It's never felt like this before. He doesn't relent. Is obsessed. It's so much wetter than usual. Your whimpers are different, too. The way your legs shake? The way you can't fucking breathe? How your pussy is quite literally clamping his fingers inside of you? It's all different. It's so much more than an orgasm.
He's never taken you this far beyond the point of a climax. Didn't know you could do this. Has only ever seen it in fucking porn. Sort of thought it was a myth - but you're squirting for him. Because of him. On him.
He will die, and you absolutely will be the cause of it.
"Fuck, B," Jeongguk curses against your lips as he realises what's happening. Keeps going. Fucks his fingers into you, still. His hand is getting wetter, still . You shake, still ; squirt, still . Jeongguk's gonna fuckin' die. That's all he can think about. Death, and pussy. His, and yours. Hell, and heaven. "That's it. Squirt for me, B. Such a good girl."
You nod, almost delirious from the pleasure he's administering. His fingers fuck into you still, your pussy contracting around him.
Eyes closed, teeth pressing down on your bottom lip, you can't think of anything except the sensation of your pussy giving itself up for him. The wave of pleasure was so intense that you hadn't noticed your release at first; not until the lewd sounds of his fingers inside of you became louder, and Jeongguk himself had realised.
You don't even really have grasp on the fact it happened. Knew that it could, but you've been the only person to ever get yourself that far. Never has someone else ever made you squirt. You don't think you ever really trusted anyone enough with your body to give it up entirely.
But Jeongguk is Jeongguk. There's nothing to be scared of.
"Koo," you whimper as you finally get some control over yourself, body jolting from the intensity of it all.
He's slow to withdraw his fingers. Doesn't want to, but also knows he has to be gentle.
"I know, baby," he husks a little breathlessly, as he presses a kiss into your shaky lips. "I know."
In all honesty, he doesn't know. Doesn't have a clue what you could possibly be thinking. Just knows he's feeling all sorts of fucked up, and that you probably are, too.
It's been a long night. You've both been through it.
But you both feel overwhelmingly at ease.
"Sorry," he whispers. Presses a kiss against your hair.
"Mhmm?" You question, still deliriously spent. There's so much to do. Sheets to change. Showers to be had. You just wanna laze with him a little while longer. "What for?"
Jeongguk holds you close. Doesn't wanna lose this, either. He knows how you get once the morning comes and regrets start creeping in. He's doing damage control early. Letting you know that it's okay.
"I broke your rules," he says, as if you weren't a willing participant.
You shake your head. You kissed him first. Kissed him when he called you baby. Rewarded him for his misdemeanours. Of course he'd be a repeat offender. You're just as much to blame.
"Don't do that."
"Apologise?"
"Don't put all the blame on you. It's not," you say, before leaning up to steal an ever-so-sacred kiss from his lips. "There. I did it. I broke them. My fault."
"B-"
"If you try and apologise I'm gonna think you regret it," you tell him.
Jeongguk shuts up. Plans to remain silent. Can't help himself, though. Thinks it's important you know how he feels about you, and the birds, and this whole fuckin' mess.
"I've never regretted a thing we've done, B. Never."
His tone consumes you. Is so serious. So sincere. It makes you nervous - so you deflect.
"What about that time we accidentally ordered the extra spicy tteokbokki?"
He smiles. Laughs. Is serene as he eases up. "Okay. One regret."
You kiss him. Lips soft. Touch tender. Just 'cause you can. Just 'cause you wanna.
Have resigned yourself to the fact this is one-night-only kind of thing; that come the next morning, you'll laugh about it.
'Can you believe we kissed?' 'Let's never do that again.' 'So weird.' 'Just a friendly kiss. Sort of like kissing a fish, actually.' 'I'm gonna sew your mouth shut one day.'
And so for now, as Jeongguk encourages you up - "c'mon. Shower. You get in. I'll sort the sheets. Will join you in a second, okay?" - and kisses you again before you leave, you revel in it.
You stand alone under the crashing water, wondering what the fuck you've just done. Contemplating how badly this will all end up biting you in the arse.
Jeongguk does much the same. Looks at himself in the mirror; naked and alone. Can see evidence of you all over his skin - scratch marks, pretty purple bouquets delivered by your lips, the sheen of your slick - and decides he likes himself better this way. Doesn't think he'll look like himself when it's all washed away.
He makes up his bed. Puts a fresh sheet down, and tosses the old one by his door, ready for a wash. Goes to chuck his pillows on the floor - and then just doesn't. If you want the space, he'll give you it, no questions asked. He doesn't want the space, though. Wants you in his bed again. Wants you close.
And as he comes to join you in the shower, a protective arm slinking around your waist, lips pressed into your neck, you know that you don't want to be alone. Not for the rest of the night, at least. The glitter might wash away, but this feeling? He's not certain.
You're not sure that waking up beside him will be sensible for your fragile heart, but can't stand the idea of not falling asleep beside him. He's so warm. It's the smart thing to do. Will save on his heating bill.
A good decision, you think.
But since when have you ever been good at those?
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AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI
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partycatty · 8 months ago
Text
kenshi takahashi > take it
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BELOVED POOKIE BEAR @crimsonbubble!!!!!!!!! LOVE U LOTS, ENJOY MY LITTLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT <3
warnings: mean dom kenshi >:3, overstimulation, mutual masturbation? torture? idk something heinous is going on
notes: why my thingy go up while writing this
[ masterlist ]
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• you knew better, you knew so much better than to get on his nerves but you found the fun in his firm tone and thick, crossed arms. you had decided to pull a little lie his way, figuring it wouldn't do much harm. and now, he found out, so here you were with a vibrator cruelly bound to your sticky cunt, a low enough setting to make you writhe and beg for forgiveness. your legs are bound, forced open and tied to your wrists behind your back.
• kenshi could pretend to ignore your voice forever if it meant you'd continue to beg as he sits in a chair against the bedroom wall, toying lazily with his aching cock. his other hand rests against his jaw, the controller to the toy in his fist.
• he was trained in so many other ways of endurance, namely having incredible control over his arousal. he'll last as long as you and then some, as long as you get properly tortured, kenshi will continue to stroke himself with grunts and occasional twitches when his thumb slides across his tip.
• just as you grow tired of one setting, kenshi would heighten the strength significantly, relishing in your cries and squirms. your core bubbles, folds slick and needy as the sheets underneath you begin to dampen. your hips buck, eagerly chasing your as it orgasm fast approaches.
• "please, ken, please-" your voice sounds pleading, almost for your life as tears prick in your eyes. "i'm sorry for misbehaving, it won't - hah - won't happen again..."
• kenshi's cruel, cold grumble pulls you back to reality as you feel your vision blur. "liar."
• the vibrator reduces to a low hum around your clit, completely pulling you away from cumming just as quick as it approached you. thrashing and rolling your head back, you're just about to flop backwards onto the mattress before you hear kenshi tut at you.
• "eyes here," he demands, voice still low. "watch what you do to me." you pull your head forward, resting your chin against your chest as you sniffle, watching kenshi stroke himself through your lashes.
• his cock had a shine of his precum coating it, his fingers sliding up the length of his shaft with ease. his eye contact was brutal, nearly killing you where you sat. it was almost too much when you'd catch his eye twitch or his lips part to moan.
• a little treat to you, his hips buck up, his dick chasing the friction of his palm as he nears his own orgasm. your lips part, matching his pants with need. you nod encouragingly, relishing in the sight and temporarily distracted enough to ignore the faint buzzing on your cunt.
• this, he notices. kenshi pulls his hand away from his cock, denying both you and him the pleasure of him painting his stomach with his seed. kenshi rolls his head back, letting out a deep sigh as he holds his cock at the base, thighs tensing. his gaze falls forward at you, suddenly setting the vibrator alight with a single touch.
• your back arches from the sudden shock, the toy torturing your puffy clit relentlessly as the hum shocks up your spine and makes your whole body tremble.
• "you gonna lie to me again?" he asks, his voice lost to your ears as you cry out from the overstimulation, an orgasm fast approaching again and yet so far away. "learned to listen?"
• "yes, god -" you cry out. "yes, yes, i'll behave, i'll listen - fuck -"
• kenshi chuckles to himself, stopping his strokes to admire the view in front of him. "you look so good like this, you know. i should just keep you here all night. how's that sound?" the proposal makes you frown as your face contorts in pleasure.
• "i like you more when you behave," he purrs, tutting at your knitted brows and soaked pussy. "pisses me off when you're a brat, you know that, right?" you can only stupidly nod at his words, accepting whatever he wants to throw your way when he speaks in that sultry voice. he hums in agreement, fucking his cock on his hand at a swifter pace now. "you want to cum, is that it?"
• in a daze, you nod, the buzzing numbing your cunt heats your skin. the vibrator speeds up to an impossible speed now, burning your very core and rendering you entirely speechless, drool slipping down your chin as your orgasm attacks your entire body. thanking him endlessly as each wave twitches your limbs. •kenshi smiles to himself, lip curling in amusement at your stupid state. you miss as he cums, painting his flush skin with his fluid with a hissing grunt. his cock twitches hungrily, begging for somewhere to stuff it but settling for his hand. you were too busy crying in pain as you notice the vibrator doesn't come to an end like you do, instead attacking your pussy at the same pace it was before. • his smile turns into a beaming grin, a rare expression on his hard features as you writhe and burst into full-on sobs, crying that it's too much for you to handle so soon. • the words are lost to him again as he stands there with the smile, admiring the shine on your skin and the drool from your cunt as your hole clenches down on nothing. he flicks between the fast and faster speeds rapidly, sending lightning up your spine as you cum again. even through the pleasure you're wracked with pain. • "no more..." you beg, voice hoarse from your pathetic cries. "please, please no more, kenshi-" • "i thought you wanted to cum?" he asks in that stupidly teasing tone, and you know you're in for it by the inflection in his words. "you're getting what you want, dear." • kenshi promptly stuffs his cock back in his slacks and brushes his thighs off, standing up after wiping his hand on a towel resting on the armrest. your eyes widen in fear of what's to come when you see him stand with a huff. • "k-kenshi?" you whimper, body weak against the vibrator still toying with your clit. kenshi wiggles the controller in his fingers with a cocked brow as he heads toward your bedroom door. "no, nonono, wait-" • the door slams on you as you're still bound and dripping, the heat from the last two orgasms sliding the toy against your clit as it slips between your folds, overly soaked. • kenshi stands on the other side of the door, unbeknownst to you, touching himself to your screaming sobs that turn into whispered sniffles the longer the machine pulls orgasm after orgasm from you. • he does return, albeit eventually. you're knocked out, the only sound in the room being the horrid squelching of your pussy and your faint breaths after passing out from how many times you came. • kenshi helps bathe you, cleaning you gently of the rope wounds and slick before dressing you properly for the night after changing the dampened sheets courtesy of your arousal, pulling you to his chest. he couldn't help himself but laugh at your sleepy sniffles, consciousness lost to you after all the time of agony. • "did so good," he hums into your hair, kissing the top of your head. "always so good for me."
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