#I should be able to Get It. even though I have explicitly said to her that I am genuinely unable to do that 99% of the time and never try t

[sevicia]

Also she'll get mad at me whenever I go to help her but don't actually know what to do or how to do it the way she wants/needs me to so she'll tell me Well why the hell did you even come here then????? like sorry I don't know... to try and help you out?? which is what you always say no one does????

[kujousgf]

THERE'S JUST ONE THING I WANT (your blood all over me)

pairings: final girl!reader + slashers!wandanat, pre-established bucky + reader

summary: movie night at your boyfriend bucky's on friday the 13th, what could go wrong?

warnings: depictions of violence and murder, cult dynamics (cult leader wanda), character death (not reader), cheating, manipulation, patriarchal ideals, misogyny, power dynamics, pet names, mommy kink, dom!natasha, sub!reader, dom!wanda, fingering, groping

wc: 5.7k~

A/N: sorry bucky...

Friday the 13th, a universal day of bad luck and bad omens. You were never one to be overly superstitious, you did have a black cat, Liho, after all, but something about this just felt like a bad idea. Bucky had proposed the idea of having a movie night of sorts to celebrate the unofficial holiday, wanting to invite some friends over and watch a few horror movies. He explicitly wanted to ‘watch Parker piss his pants over a little movie,’ which you rolled your eyes at. 

“I don't know if this is a good idea, Buck…” You sigh, looking up at the taller man through your lashes, your arms wrapped around yourself. “Oh, come on, it'll be fun. Who doesn't love a good horror movie?” He laughs, though he knows you don't, “besides, I'll keep you safe. Don't worry.” He pulls you into him, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“You know I don't like those kinds of movies,” you huff, “and your friends are always… weird.” You mumble, burying your face in his chest. He sighs above you, starting to run his fingers through your hair, “I know, I know, but it'll just be one movie. And it's just the guys! They're harmless, come on, you know that!” His tone is lighthearted, but he tugs a little on your hair at the last part. “You can invite some of your friends,” he offers, “who've you been hanging out with lately? Wanda? Natasha? Carol?” and then he quickly changes his mind, he doesn't like her attitude towards either of you, “Ugh, no, don't invite Carol… How about that Kate girl? You can invite the redheads and Kate?” 

“...okay, but promise you won't pick one that's too scary?”

“Promise, scaredy cat.”

Friday comes quickly and you're currently preparing for Bucky’s friends to come over, making sure there's cold beer in the fridge and snacks for them to eat. Your boyfriend was setting up the television apparently, telling you that you were always better in the kitchen than he was and then disappearing into the living room. Some of your friends were coming too, which you were grateful for. You had debated inviting Carol even though Bucky said not to, but decided against it. Wanda and Kate would be here soon, but Natasha said she had something she needed to do with Yelena tonight and wouldn’t be able to make it. 

You play with the ring around your finger before you start to put bowls and dishes on the island’s countertop in front of you, humming softly to yourself as you make sure it looks presentable. You were never one to like an ugly spread. Bucky chooses this time to come into the kitchen and wrap his arms around your waist from behind, “see? Told you, you’re so much better in the kitchen than I am.”

“You’re just saying that because I cut up some plums for you.”

“You got me.” He chuckles, reaching forward to grab a slice of the fruit, “the boys should be here soon, you should get changed.” He pats your bare thigh, the shorts you’re wearing are decidedly too short for him, and then pulls away from you and starts to walk away. 

“You didn’t seem to mind my outfit earlier!” You call out after him teasingly, and he just turns around to give you a pointed look, opening his mouth to speak before promptly closing it when he hears a car pull into the driveway. “That must be Steve. Go get changed.”

“I’m going, I’m going.”

It did turn out to be Steve, and you greet him after you’ve come back downstairs. This time dressed in a pair of jeans and a brown sweater. Bucky’s friends arrive in quick succession after that: Steve, Sam, Tony, Peter (Quill, not Parker. Parker couldn’t make it), and even Rhodey showed up which was apparently something of a miracle. Wanda’s friend Vision was away for work, otherwise you might have asked her to bring him too. You sip on a drink in the kitchen with Wanda while you wait for Kate, it was far too loud in the living room with all the boys. Especially because Tony had started drinking. You don’t envy Pepper, the man could be loud while sober, so this was almost unbearable. You remind yourself that they’re Bucky’s friends and it’s just one evening, he’ll make it up to you tomorrow. 

“You know, you could have just told him we were going out and you wouldn’t have had to deal with all of this,” Wanda hums, lifting her glass up to her lips and taking a sip of wine, “I know how much you hate these kinds of movies.”

“I know, but he seemed excited about it, and you know him… I don’t want to be down on something he’s actually excited about.” You lean against the counter, holding your glass in both hands against your chest. “He said he’d pick a movie that wasn’t too scary, but we can probably get away with just being in here for the whole night. It’s not like they’ll really notice.”

“You don’t think Bucky will notice if you’re not within two feet of him at all times? You must have forgotten who you’re talking about.” Wanda laughs humorlessly, a tight smile on her lips. None of your friends were particularly… fond of your boyfriend. It’s not that they hated him, he could be a nice guy, it’s just that sometimes the way he treated you was more like the way you’d treat a child or a trophy than a girlfriend.

Just then Bucky’s voice interrupts the two of you with a ‘babe!’ and you excuse yourself from the kitchen. You’re semi-grateful for it, not wanting to get into this Wanda right now, but you wanted to avoid the guys for longer than you were able to.

It turns out he had just wanted another beer, which you brought him and he accepted with a kiss to your cheek. You’re certain that Peter was going to ask for one too until he and Bucky had some sort of silent conversation, so you slipped out of the room to avoid whatever the outcome might have been. Things between the two of them could get tense. 

Wanda gives you a look when you re-enter the kitchen and you shrug, “he was having some sort of debate with Steve, he didn’t want to lose his train of thought.”

“Uh huh…” The strawberry blonde opens her mouth to say something else, but she’s cut off when she hears a sharp, feminine scream pierce her ears. A scream that she knows doesn’t belong to the horror movie everyone is supposed to be watching tonight. She gives you an indecipherable look, and you look back at her with wide eyes, frightened. “Was that… the movie? Buck didn’t say he was starting it yet…”

She doesn’t answer you, waiting to see if maybe she can hear the background noise of a movie coming from the living room, maybe they decided on a different movie. But when she doesn’t hear anything besides confused chatter she can’t quite decipher she shakes her head, “I don’t think so.”

You’re soon joined by Bucky and the rest of the guys in the kitchen when he rushes in to make sure the scream he heard wasn’t, in fact, his girlfriend. “What the hell was that? Are you okay?” He holds you at arm’s length to inspect you, making sure you weren’t hurt. You could be a little clumsy, and he knows you’ve been drinking some wine, so he thought maybe you had decided to cut up some fruit and dropped the knife, accidentally cutting yourself. But after a quick once over, he realizes that you’re fine. 

“I-I don’t know. Wanda and I were just talking in here and then we heard a scream. I thought maybe you started the movie without us. Do you think someone’s hurt somewhere? Oh God, this is exactly how those horror movies you like so much start out. I told you doing something like this today was a bad idea, Buck–”

The back door opens and you barely hear it, still rambling until Bucky puts his hand over your mouth. You furrow your eyebrows, and you’re about to move his hand to tell him off, who cares that his friends are here, until you hear a set of footsteps and realize that everyone is standing still and tense. Bucky’s house had a bit of an odd layout. Whereas other houses kitchen’s were in the back of the house, his was near the front. 

Your boyfriend was always hyper vigilant, even when there was no reason to be, but when he brings his finger up to his lips to signal you to be quiet, you think that maybe there is a reason this time. Even Tony seems to have shut up, looking slightly concerned. Maybe all your talk about bad omens was getting to everyone. 

There’s a tension in the air and everything is silent for a moment until the footsteps continue, getting closer and closer…

Your breath gets caught in your throat when a masked figure steps through the doorway. They have a long, sharp, knife-like blade in one hand, the front of their shirt and mask splattered with blood. In the other hand, you see a coat you recognize, one you know belongs to Kate, splattered and stained with blood. Wordlessly, they hold it up and tilt their head, their green eyes sparkling at the recognition and horror on your face. A scream rips through your throat before you can stop it.

Bucky turns and he’s quick to push you behind him as soon as you scream while everyone else is frozen in place, eyes wide with shock. “Very funny guys, love that you hired an actor to scare the shit out of my girlfriend, very clever. When I said I wanted to scare her, I meant with the movie. So she would be extra clingy tonight, so we could– not the point. This isn’t cool.” His tone hardens with the last three words, feeling the way you’re shaking slightly behind him from fear. 

“Buck, we didn’t… this isn’t us.” Sam speaks up and the masked stranger decides that this is enough talking for now before they surge towards Peter, who’s drunk enough to move just a bit too slowly. Their knife plunges into his stomach and he lets out a loud yell, drink dropping from his hand and glass shattering against the floor, doubling over when the knife is taken out and then plunged into his flesh again and again and again. 

The action is enough to snap everyone out of their frozen states and send everyone running in a panic. You vaguely hear a ‘holy fuck!’ before Bucky grabs your hand and drags you out of the room, planning to circle around the killer and then exit the house. He lives at the end of a relatively secluded street, but he has his car and if he can get to it, he knows he could get the both of you away from danger quite quickly. He’d be sorry about his friends, but he can always make new ones. 

“B-Buck, wait! We can’t just leave Wanda, what if she’s next? Please, we can't just leave. That was Kate’s coat, they got Kate. We can’t leave everyone.”

“We might get killed and you're worried about that redheaded b– fine, we can make sure Wanda’s okay.” He concedes when he sees your face, pulling you into the bathroom with him and shutting the door. He takes a breath and then locks it. If all else fails, the two of you can stay in here until morning, but right now he apparently needs a new plan.

He pats his pockets to try and find his phone, if nothing at all he needs to call the police. He groans when he realizes he left it on the couch. “Fuck.”

At some point you and Bucky get separated, it's hard to stay together in chaos like this. Maybe going back for Wanda was a bad idea, but you just couldn't leave her to fend for herself, especially after what you can only assume happened to Kate. And seeing what happened to Peter, you couldn’t let that happen to her. Stupid, maybe, but she was one of your closest friends. 

You don't know how long it's been until you find yourself in a group again. Except now you're missing Peter, Tony, Steve and Rhodey. By the look on Bucky’s face, you know they all must have suffered the same fate as Peter.

“What do we do, man? We could try to leave, but that only got Steve killed. Did anyone call the cops? I can't find my phone.” Sam paces the room.

Steve’s body lays limp and slightly cold on the stone path leading from Bucky’s porch to the driveway. He didn’t get very far.

“I did.” Wanda speaks up from the doorway, keeping watch in the one on the left and scanning the whole room, paying particular attention to the doorway across from her. “I hope they'll be here soon. They might have already been here if James didn't live so far from town.”

“Oh, are you blaming this on me? Are you saying this is my fault?” Bucky shoots a glare towards Wanda. The tension between the two of them was always thick, but right now you think even a knife wouldn’t be able to cut through it. 

“If the shoe fits.”

“Listen here, you–”

“Watch your tone.” Wanda's accent slips out and your eyes flit over towards her.

“Please don't fight, it won't make things better.” Your voice is quiet, scared, as you speak. You stand close to Bucky, arms wrapped around your torso. You're shaking slightly, the image of both Peter and Steve making you nauseous. You hadn’t expected to see him when you walked out the front door, and the image was enough to have you running back into the house. 

Bucky grunts in response and Wanda doesn't say anything, crossing her arms tightly over her chest and looking towards the other entrance of the room you were all in again. 

Perhaps she should have been paying more attention to what's behind her, though, because the masked stranger is suddenly right there. Your eyes widen and you don't have time to warn her before she shrieks as they force her hands behind her back and press a knife against her throat. It's a bit of a struggle, but the masked assailant is clearly strong as they manhandle Wanda into the room. 

“Wanda!”

“Fuck!”

“Man, fuck this!”

You, Bucky, and Sam all stand alarmed near the center of the room, looking with widened eyes at the scene in front of you. A beat of silence passes, all that can be heard is labored breathing. And then the knife falls from her throat and Wanda starts to laugh, bent over from the force of it. “Oh, you should have seen your faces!” She laughs like this is the funniest thing that’s ever happened to her before she stops abruptly and stands up, a gun suddenly in her hand, pointed straight towards you. “Come here.” Her accent is back now, the fake American one dropped. 

“W-Wanda, I don’t… what’s going on?” You sniffle, tears falling freely down your cheeks.

“W-Wanda,” she mocks, faux pout on her lips, “Come here.”

“Don’t listen to her. Stay right behind me.” Bucky steps in front of you, shielding you with his body. 

“What a gentleman.” Wanda sneers, gun steadily pointed at Bucky’s chest now. 

“Wanda, sweetheart, don’t get ahead of yourself.” Natasha speaks up, taking the now bloody hockey mask off and revealing herself. It had been so hard for her to keep her comments to herself and remain a mystery this whole time. Usually it wouldn’t be, but today was just so exciting. And it was personal.

Oh, she had been the one to give Wanda the handgun.

“Now what the fuck?” Sam makes the mistake of making himself known again and Wanda rolls her eyes, turning and aiming the gun at him instead. “Oh, shut up.” She pulls the trigger and a bullet goes straight through the man’s skull, blood splattering onto the floor and the wall behind him. He drops to the floor with a thud.

“Jesus Christ! You’re both fucking insane!” Bucky takes a glance towards Sam’s body on the floor, feeling bile rise up in his throat. 

“Buck, I-I’m scared.” You whimper, and he pulls your body against his, hoping to bring you some comfort by running his fingers through your hair. This is not something he ever thought before, but maybe he should have listened to you when you said this was a bad idea. 

Wanda takes a deep breath, her head jerking involuntarily at the sight, like she’d just seen something horrible. “I won’t ask again. Come. Here.” The gun is pointed at you again and her hand shakes slightly. Her eyes flash and you look up at Bucky, afraid she might actually shoot you. ��Buck, I-I maybe I should go over. T-To calm her down… I don’t want her to hurt you.”

You sniffle again and he takes five seconds before giving a small nod. “It’ll be okay, baby. They won’t get away with this, I promise, I won’t let them.” He says in a way that he hopes is comforting to you. You hesitate before pulling away from him and slowly walking over to Wanda. 

“Hi, Wands,” you smile up at her sweetly, “did I do good?”

“You would have done better if you didn’t let him put his hands on you like that,” she spits. You pout up at her and she softens slightly, leaning down to kiss you. She knows you were only playing a role, but that didn’t make it better, “you did great, baby.”

“What the fuck is going on!”

You spin around, eyes wild, no longer hiding anything now that the charade has been dropped, angry that your moments with Wanda are still being interrupted. “Will you shut the fuck up for five fucking seconds?! We are trying to have a conversation here.”

Bucky, poor guy, looks the most shocked you’ve ever seen him. He never would have seen this coming, he never could have. This wasn’t like you, you were sweet and quiet and would never speak to him like that. You couldn’t possibly have anything to do with this, not voluntarily. The way you were acting wasn’t making any sense. 

“Baby… Come on, this isn’t like you. Whatever they said to you, whatever they did to you, you can tell me. I can help, I’ll get you out of this, you don’t have to worry.” He chooses almost the exact wrong thing to say, and you grab the gun from Wanda, pointing it towards him. Wanda and Natasha look toward each other, this wasn’t part of the plan. Not exactly, anyway.

"Oh, you can help me?! You'll help me!" You think of these past couple of months, years really, that you’ve spent with Bucky, stuck with Bucky. You did it to yourself upon the request of Natasha, but that doesn’t make it any better. You're practically hysterical at this point, waving the gun in your hand around with your finger on the trigger, "because you're a big strong military man, you can help me! Oh, and I bet you’ll save me too!" You're laughing now, shaking as adrenaline pumps through your veins. "That's what I am to you, isn't it? Proof of your ability as a man to save a woman? Your little trophy to prove that you're a good guy." You point the gun steadily at Bucky now, looking him directly in the eyes, "unfortunately for you, I've never been yours to save."

The thing about your and Bucky’s relationship is that it was never built on anything good. It would have been better, for him mostly, but the both of you, if you had just stayed friends like you wanted to, but he just kept pushing. He loves you, don’t you love him too? He knows you do, he can tell. He’s loved you since middle school and he’s never found the right time to tell you, but now that you’re both starting university, he couldn’t take the chance that you’d find someone else. (Unfortunately for him, you already had. The extra 10 years of friendship Bucky had, had nothing on the connection you had with Wanda and Natasha). 

Bucky watched you grow up, watched you turn to him when your parents fought, watched you take your father’s mistreatment of you and your mother, and watched your little fear of abandonment grow when your father up and left one night. Watched the way you hoped he wouldn’t leave too, took advantage of it, really. And you watched him, watched the cracks in his nice guy persona get bigger, watched as they became canyons when you wedged yourself into them, watched as he hoped, God he hoped that you were your mother’s daughter. 

And Wanda and Natasha watched you both, content to keep your relationship a secret as you explored the ways in which you could exploit Bucky, expose his true colors. They didn’t do very much pushing on your part, they wanted you to be free to make your own decisions. They may be in charge, but this was your idea, they just gave it the green light. Well, Wanda may have planted a few seeds, but that’s what she does. You were free to ignore them if you wanted, but she knew you didn’t. She knew you’d make her plans blossom. 

The switch from hysterics to calm and collected has your boyfriend's head spinning. He doesn't know what part of this is real and what isn't, still half hoping this is some sick prank. Because this isn't like you, it's just not. The first time Bucky had ever shown you one of his guns, you were like a deer in headlights. You'd refused to even touch it, scared of such a weapon, a monster of human creation, you'd called it. That's who his girlfriend was, not this person standing in front of him. This mad woman, this crazy bitch. So this had to be fake, it had to be a prank. 

It's not, of course, because what Bucky doesn't understand is that nothing with him had ever been anything but fake. What Bucky doesn't understand is that even though he's your boyfriend, you've never been his girlfriend, you've been Natasha and Wanda's. You've always been Natasha and Wanda's.

Natasha comes up behind you and wraps her arms around your waist before pressing a kiss to your cheek, "go on, pretty girl, you can do it," she whispers encouragingly. This may not be a part of the original plan, but the sooner they get this done, the sooner she can take you back to her and Wanda’s apartment. And the sooner Wanda can stop obsessing over this. "Remember how he treated you. Remember how we treat you."

“Be a good girl, we’re so close.” Wanda’s voice hits your ears and it’s like you can’t help but listen to anything she says. You take the shot without a second thought, the bullet going straight through Bucky’s chest as your own chest heaves, your breathing slightly labored. You’re still holding the gun towards him as his eyes widen and he drops to the ground, touching the wound like he can’t believe what just happened. He chokes slightly, coughing, as blood starts to spill past his lips and you shut your eyes. If only he hadn’t turned into such a rotten guy, he would have survived. 

You feel Wanda’s soft hand slide up the length of your arm as she slots herself behind you now, Natasha going to check around the house to make sure no one has miraculously survived being slain. A smile graces the Sokovian’s lips and she envelopes your hand in her own, gently transferring the gun into her own grip instead, letting your arm drop to your side before lowering the weapon and tucking it into her back pocket, “you did such a good job, baby. I’m so proud of you.” Her voice is so sweet and loving that your bottom lip trembles involuntarily.

You love Natasha, but Wanda has always had an affect on you, and you know that if the Russian had said the same thing instead, you wouldn’t react this same way. The overwhelming feelings that loomed over tonight come back in full force as you let out the first sob. “Oh, sweet girl,” Wanda coos, turning you in her arms and bringing you against her, holding you tight, “such a big night for you, huh? But you know that what you’ve done is for the greater good, right? You know that, don’t you?” 

You nod and she kisses the top of your head. “B-But Tasha came early, and I didn’t know that Katie– I thought– Tasha was too early, and I couldn’t tell if–” You can’t get your thoughts together anymore, your mind racing with everything that’s been going through your head since the beginning of the night. The fear for Kate, the confusion when Natasha showed up before 10:02pm, the very specific time she was supposed to, the way Wanda had looked just as confused as you had.

“Oh no, did she scare you?” Wanda laughs lightly, endeared and a little amused, “I’ll have to give Tasha a little talking to. She was a little early, huh?” She smooths her hand along your hair, petting you, “don’t worry about Katie, darling, she’s just fine. You know how Yelena would react if she wasn’t.” 

“I-I know, but–”

“Shhh, I know, sweetheart. It’s okay, you didn’t know. Now, why don’t you give me a kiss, hm? Don’t I deserve a thank you?”

A ‘thank you’ for what, you didn’t know, but Wanda clearly thought she was deserving of one and who were you to question her? You lean up to give her a kiss, your arms wrapping around her shoulders as she grips your waist. You sigh against her lips, feeling yourself relax a little just from the comfort any amount of affection from Wanda gives you. 

“I leave you two alone for five minutes and you’re pretending like I don’t exist.” Natasha stands from where she was leaning against the doorframe as she looks at you and Wanda, “do you have any idea how long I was standing there?” It had only been long enough to catch Wanda’s ‘don’t I deserve a thank you?’ and watch the two of you kiss, but still. 

You pull away from Wanda and huff, your tears now forgotten, “I’m mad at you!” You glare at Natasha and she raises an eyebrow, walking towards you now, “mad at me, зайка?” She furrows her eyebrows slightly, as if she’s confused, and there’s an annoyingly attractive little smirk on her lips as she gets closer. 

She grabs your hips and pulls you away from Wanda and the Sokovian would usually protest against the Russian’s audacity to steal her girl away, but she’s content to watch the two of you bicker for a few minutes. Natasha pulls you against her, “now what did I do to deserve that?” She squeezes your hips softly, looking down at you. “You were early!” You push against her chest before resting your hands there, playing with the fabric of her sweatshirt, “we had a plan!”

“Well, we didn’t exactly stick to the plan anyway, did we, baby? Huh? I don’t think the past 15 minutes were part of the plan. How about you, Wands?” Natasha turns her head slightly and makes eye contact with her girlfriend, to which the strawberry blonde just rolls her eyes, “this is not my problem. She’s not mad at me.”

“We might have if you showed up on time! You scared me, you asshole!”

Natasha is perfectly happy to humor when you’re ‘mad’ at her and even when you play fight against her or hit her, but she is not happy to hear you speak to her like that. Her movement is swift as she reaches up to grab your jaw, her grip harsh as her fingertips dig into your cheeks, “watch your tone and your language, yeah?”

You whine quietly, nodding. Natasha hums, releasing your jaw in favor of patting your cheek, “good girl. Now, why don’t you tell me properly why you’re ‘mad’ at me?” Her next actions contradict her words as she slips her hands underneath your shirt, sliding her palms up your stomach and then back down again.

“You were…” you trail off, distracted by Natasha's hands on you. She slides her hands back up and gropes your covered breasts, “I was?” There’s a smug look on her face as she looks down at you, pleased with how easily she can distract you. “You were early and… and you scared me, I didn’t know it was you.”

“My sincerest apologies, princess,” Natasha slides her hands back down and grabs your waist, squeezing roughly, and then she grins, “I didn’t realize you were so easily scared.” You’re about to curse her out, but she leans down to capture your lips in a kiss before you get the chance. The kiss is sloppy and rough as your hands grip her sweatshirt, tugging her as close as possible. 

Wanda, never one to like being left out, takes her place behind you, sandwiching you between her and Natasha. Her hands slip under your shirt and replace where Natasha’s used to be, cupping your breasts and groping them softly, “let us make it up to you, ангел.”

The sound of Wanda’s soft voice in your ear relaxes you in their arms and you make a noise of agreeance against Natasha’s lips. “My poor little angel,” Wanda murmurs, “my divine little lamb. You didn’t deserve to be scared like that, did you?” Wanda’s questions are almost always rhetorical and you’re glad for that right now. 

One of Natasha’s hands moves from your waist to unbutton your jeans and then slides into your panties. You grip her sweater tighter to try and urge her to move her hand further down, but she leaves it splayed just above your cunt. She pulls away from your lips, the both of you panting as you catch your breath, a string of spit connecting your lips and then dripping down.

“Say please, зайка. Just because I’ve upset you doesn’t mean you lose your manners, does it?”

“Please, Tasha. Please touch me.”

“Tell me thank you for what I did today.” She’s trying to stay in control of herself, but you can tell from her labored breathing and the flush of her neck that you’ve affected her. 

“I’m so happy you freed me, Tasha. Thank you. I’m so grateful I can be yours forever now. Thank you, thank you.” 

Natasha surges forward and crashes her lips against yours, a moan escaping your lips at the contact. Wanda hums in approval and it lights a fire in both yours and Natasha’s stomachs. You both know, this time, Wanda is only here to watch over the two of you, and to know what you’re doing has her approval means more to the both of you than anything you’ve ever done.

Natasha swallows your gasp when you feel her fingers beginning to rub at your clit, slow circles that work you up at just the right pace. Wanda places small kisses on your neck as Natasha works, groping and squeezing at your breasts as she does. She knows she’ll have you to herself later while Natasha works on cleaning up today’s mess, so she’s content in watching her prized possession feel good.

When Natasha moves her hand further down and sinks two fingers into your cunt, you pull away from her lips and let out a little whimper. Usually, she’d work you up, but she knew the three of you shouldn’t linger in the house longer than necessary. “Shhh, that’s it baby, you can take it.” She lets you bury your face against her chest as she pumps her fingers in and out, grinding the heel of her palm against your clit. 

“There you go, that’s a good girl.” Natasha coos. She’s being uncharacteristically gentle and you think it’s because Wanda is watching or maybe she really does feel bad for scaring you like she did. She holds you tight against her as she leans over you to kiss Wanda. You feel your knees get weak when you realize what’s happening and you clench around Natasha’s fingers. 

They both pay you no mind except for the fact that Natasha’s skilled fingers are still working against your cunt. She curls them just right and you bite down on her collarbone. She gasps and pulls away from Wanda’s lips, her other hand gripping your waist tighter, her blunt nails digging into your skin and leaving little crescent marks. 

“Forgot our little зайка was a biter.” She grunts.

It’s not long before Natasha’s fingers work you up and push you over the edge, cumming with both her and Wanda’s permission. When Natasha pulls her fingers out you let out a little whine, sensitive from cumming. “Open up, pretty girl.” She brings her fingers up to your lips and you let her push them inside, cleaning your cum from her fingers, your cheeks hot at the action.

Natasha pulls away from you and pushes you to your knees, your shaky legs doing very little to hold you up anyway. Wanda’s fingertips drag across your cheek as she moves in front of you, standing next to Natasha. “What do you say, маленький ангел?” Wanda speaks as she uses her middle and ring finger to tilt your chin up. 

You peer up at them, adoration swimming in your eyes, “Thank you Mommy. Thank you Tasha.”

[kxlitz]

omg love your writing its so GOOD

do you think you could do some more headcanons about growing up with devilsh

np if you cant have a good day or night ❤

★ Growing up with Devilish & Being Tokio Hotel’s 5th member ★ pt.2

AN: I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE !!

I decided to merge the requests because they overlap with one another and simply work. I hope this satisfies you !! I’m writing this as a part 2 to my first « Growing up with Devilish/Tokio Hotel » post since it just works!

Warning! Underage drinking and Smoking,sexual themes touched non explicitly, that’s about it. Friendly reminder it’s Tokio Hotel we’re talking about

≛ This is set in 2003 til 2005 right before the release of ddm as it deserves it’s own post.

~ Enjoy your read ~ (not proof read I’m sorry I had to get smth out of the drafts)

Bill was so excited to land that Starsearch audition, he came running to your house once he got the confirmation.

It’s 8pm on a school day and there’s a frantic Bill knocking at your door.

Or window, if it happens to be on the first floor.

I love the idea of your room being on the first floor, that way the boys can sneak in for silly night-ins discussing about the future of your band or watching some disney movies on your VHS player.

Or sometimes you’d sneak in beer, weed, all that good stuff that 12/13 year olds should not be doing but you did it anyway.

Your bedroom was a hideout and safe place, especially for Bill who found so much comfort in you.

The days following to Bill’s audition were spent practising his singing and putting up a killer outfit that would shock everyone.

Not many people had faith in him, but I’m sure you were certain he’d make it.

So when a letter got home after a few weeks saying that he was amongst the best 16 in the country, you sticked out your tongue and middle finger up to the other 3 boys. “I told you so”

When it came the time to interview the band for Bill’s section of the show, you guys knew you’d have to be your best.

Bill helped out picking your outfits for sure. You needed to look cool for the camera. Maybe this would be a breakthrough moment?

You even got to do Georg’s hair, much to his annoyance.

It felt glorious, there was a television team in Loitsche and it was just for you guys. You were the kings of the town for a few hours.

Charlotte, the twins’s mom allows you to come with her to the show. You were so excited to see Bill onstage! (The fandom knew Mami Kaulitz as Simone but she legally deleted that name and only kept Charlotte) (from now on I’ll only refer to her as Mami Kaulitz though)

Once Bill came on stage you knew he was meant to be there, and you dreamed for your band to be able to shine like this by his side.

You were clapping and singing along so happily, the crowd loved him.

The same can’t be said about one particular judge.

When Bill lost he came running into your arms. Poor boy was destroyed. You only had a couple minutes to gather his things and leave so while his grandma comforted him you helped out Mami Kaulitz at getting everything together.

Standing awkwardly by a crying Bill, his grandma and a bunch of strangers while waiting for his mom to finish talking to the host is definitely not your best memory.

Needless to say the ride back home was silent.

Everyone was so proud of Bill nonetheless.

In the following weeks you guys mostly practiced your melodies with the band and tried out new riffs. Bill was quite depressed and refused to get out of his house.

Not even a new outfit, new song or a cool Barbie doll could convince him to get out.

You would physically have to get in and drag him out of bed by his ankles.

Once you yanked him too hard and he fell right on his butt, knocking his head while at it. Tom was wheezing in the back while you tried to help Bill up, avoiding to burst at his misery.

Bill has always been arrogant, so the loss on Starsearch was a big bruise to his ego. You would have to help him rebuild his self-esteem.

Dressing him up prettily and doing his makeup.

Bill would imitate your makeup techniques, he finds you fascinating.

This is how his iconic black eyeshadow look was born.

Overtime it all got better and you guys went back to the routine.

In a way, you’re the glue that sticks everyone together in the band. For sure you’d be a pillar the boys rely on.

Whenever things don’t seem to go the right way you tend to climb on the rooftop and just talk the night away with Georg. You two can have the longest and brightest (sometimes not so) conversations man has known.

Back to the “storyline” Starsearch was not useless in the slightest. Bill’s voice, the band’s rogue look in the interview and the angelic beauty of one of it’s members caught a talent scout’s attention.

Sometime between 2002 and 3 you guys had recorded your Devilish demo, that along with Bill’s appearance in the show had gained you some newfound popularity in town.

Things were still hard but, at least they knew those five losers had talent.

It was a hard and exhausting process til you guys finally signed with Universal. But! Before you could record an album, you all needed some proper training. So during the summer holidays you were accommodated into an apartment with everything you may need.

Now imagine an apartment with 5 young teens living by themselves.

Gustav was in charge of the cooking because if anyone else touched the kitchen you would burn the place down.

Tom has managed to burn water. Do not trust him.

We all know Gustav is a total chef now, but back then let’s be honest.. he could make instant ramen noodles and sandwiches. So most of the time you guys settled on ordering junk.

You guys had sleeping arrangements but it never stopped you from all ending in one room playing video games til the late hours of the night or drinking til you passed out.

Nowadays you guys sometimes cringe at everything you were doing at such a young age.

Parties were strictly forbidden in the apartment so you would all sneak to the nearest park to raise hell. There were no parents to run after you and barely any surveillance around. You guys were free.

You once got so wasted that on the way back home Georg crashed somebody’s window. You still wonder how you never got caught.

There were nights that the place would get so cold that you all ended up as a pile when it came time to sleep.

You didn’t stay like that all night though. You’d wake up coddled against Tom’s leg on the floor as he took up the entire couch. Georg was sprawled on the bed, Gustav rested on an armchair somewhere and Bill made himself a blanket cocoon.

Bill and you still have a very special friendship, so some nights you would both get into the blanket cocoon in the living room and watch some vhs tapes of Nena, Queen and Bowie’s concerts.

Oh and Titanic, for sure. Bill loves the film.

He confessed to you that he was crushing on both Rose and Jack (Bill actually said this)

If you happen to also be in the lgbtq community, you’re in for a queer ride when watching films with Bill.

ESPECIALLY, Labyrinth.

You washed Georg’s hair in the sink once. You never talk about it.

The five of you are oddly comfortable around one another so there was no shame in that.

Nor in walking around barely dressed, making the grossest jokes and acts and being complete degenerates.

The fact Bill mentioned in his book that they’d collectively jack off still haunts me to this day.

You just let them be.

Or join if you’re drunk enough, you be you bestie.

You’re not excluded from the after hour porn binge watching though, that’s like watching the news for you bunch of hormonal brats.

Anything totally inappropriate for your age aside, the five of you have such a beautiful bond. It’s amazing to watch you go.

Of course the twins are a step ahead, but it doesn’t change the fact that as a band and as friends you’re so connected to one another.

You can have more than one soulmate, and the five of you are linked together for sure.

Ok i’m being cheesy.

I’m sorry but Tom was the type to ask you to make out to “practice”

He likes to snatch your bras (if you wear them) and mock you while holding it against his chest.

“Georg next time you take a big shit open the windows and spray there’s a lady living in here” “Look I’m y/n and i’m the best musician in this band” “Pull up your pants you looser”

In return, you have hit him with a bra. How is you weaponize it? I have no idea but you certainly did.

Gustav and you were always the ones to do groceries because if you let the other ones do it, they would come back with anything BUT groceries.

A new turtle for georg, king sized box of condoms, cigarettes, a kiss the cook apron, supposedly haunted doll they found in the trash and a pack of hot wheels toys.

Gustav might be the dad yet it doesn’t take his chaos away from him. He chased you guys around the apartment with a water gun screaming like a madman.

He drums on bowls while cooking it’s cute.

You genuinely had the time of your lives.

But you can’t forget that you were located there for a reason.

Writing music.

Turning this into a series! I’m honestly way too into this idea not to cover the band’s evolution in it’s entirety. The inclusion of this fifth member is genuinely very fun to write and brainstorm about! I’ll mostly write them as the rhythm guitarist as it’s logically the easiest position to sneak into the band. As well as I must say that I am definitely more comfortable writing afab readers but no worries I can and certainly will do male reader <3

See you ~

- Meryl <3

[manicpixiefelix]

head, heart, hand. {Felix Catton/Reader/Oliver Quick}

Part 12.

Summary: Reuniting with Venetia was always an interesting experience. Many people - everyone else who lives at Saltburn included - wonder why you put up with the way she speaks to you, the way she treats you. You wonder how they can't see that it's so much more than that.

{ masterpost }

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.

Warnings: suggestive themes, implied pseudo-incest, nonsexual intimacy with Venetia but no smut

A/N: 3644 words. i know i said there's be ollie this chapter, but i needed to set up a few more things around the house; specifically venetia and what her whole deal is with the reader. i love her, she breaks my entire heart. i know i should have edited this one but oh well, here, eat up friends.

TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)

----

Never once has Venetia been gentle with the way she speaks to you; she is sharp lines and bitter tongues and laughs and moans that edge on jagged. Nothing about her seems capable of regarding you, or sometimes even treating you, with gentleness, yet she demands it from you in everything you do.

She picks you apart the moment she sees you again, like nails over every inch of your being she pries apart who you've become in her absence, but ends it all by telling you that you're still frustratingly attractive.

"Thought that would change."

"Do you think that every time?"

"Prepare for the worst and hope for the best," she sighs with a wry smile.

"My potential descent into unattractiveness is... hope?"

"Preparing, obviously; I'm very fond of you, I don't hope you get ugly," obviously, says her eye roll. Its a compliment, says her eye roll.

Still, you know Venetia well enough, know her bitter tongue belies a sweetness she could never speak out loud.

All you'd come down in is your bathers, and an old, large button down that Felix liked to swan around the house in. Which Venetia insists you leave on, lest you get yourself burnt, though you roll your eyes and shrug it off anyways, draping it over the parasol-protected banana lounge that Venetia had claimed with her towel. Venetia herself looks like something out of countless fantasies, and even more Summer magazine centre folds, the sequins of her silver bikini shining in the sunlight.

Venetia is a shiny, pretty thing, eye catching; large sunglasses and shiny lip gloss and a body that glows and shines with what you hope is sunscreen but know is just moisturiser and tanning oil. Untouched by anything but the sun and herself on this searing afternoon, wanting and waiting for her entertainment, for you.

Venetia's gentleness lives and dies in her desires, in the way she wants. Her needs, her demands are always met, but her wants she'll never be able to put to words. So you learned to figure her out for yourself; if she loves you for it, she'll never say it out loud.

Wading into the water, towards the floating chair she's so elegantly draped herself across, you keep your hands above the water's surface, keep them dry as you reach her. With every step her smile grows wider, and you place your hand on her ankle, hand gliding up her warm leg in casual greeting. Calf, knee, thigh, soft and warm and dry, and your hand comes to rest on her belly, your fingers splayed out, cooler than her sun-soaked skin, and she giggles. The anticipation makes her giddy. Her hand comes to rest on yours, though never to take your hand; she wants to be touched more than she wants to hold, that's why when she shifts carefully on her buoyant seat, she makes sure that it's not so drastic that you'd have to move your hand from her skin.

"You kept me waiting," already there's a hint of faux disapproval on her tongue when she greets you properly, or as properly as you were going to get from her. Instead of dignifying that with a real response, you roll your eyes, and lean in to kiss her on the cheek. Giving a huff at your non-answer, she does however take your face in her free hand before you can pull away, giving you a kiss on the cheek in response.

"Hello to you too, Ven," you half laugh, but she's still holding your face, holding you close, for longer than was necessary. Letting you go, she lifts her glasses with that same hand to finally get a proper look at you. A strange, accusatory glimmer there amongst the mirth and mischief.

"I thought you kept me waiting because you were freshening up," it almost sounds betrayed, settling the glasses on top of her head. How could she have known that kind of thing? Why would she care if you hadn't?

"Didn't think it would matter; I was getting in the pool anyways," you pointed out as nonchalantly as possible, but she just reiterated that you'd kept her waiting, like it was the end of the world. Something about her suddenly intrigued gaze had you growing flustered, wondering what it was about you that had her so incensed.

In the next instance, she's slid from her seat and into the water beside you without hesitation. There's now something determined in her eyes when she takes your face in both hands, kissing you. Venetia has always been direct, has always taken for granted that you'd bend to her whims in most instances. Like this one. Your arms wind around her as if on instinct. There's nothing sweet about it, nipping at your lips insistently, tongue in your mouth -

"Oh my god," she pulls back, eyes wide with what you're pretty sure is disbelief, like she's come to an urgent realisation.

"It's so good to be home; how have you been lately?" You ask breathlessly, deeply confused about her attitude and trying to give her a hint that even for her this is a strange greeting. But then her lips are on yours again, pulling you in, all teeth and tongues and gasping furiously into your mouth. Somewhere in all of this, you pull her close, hands beneath her thighs and letting her wrap her legs around you under the water.

"It hasn't even been an hour!" She cries this time when she pulls back from you, looking almost like she's on the verge of laughter or perhaps screaming, "wash your mouth out! What is wrong with you?" Despite the fact that she'd just given you the kind of kiss that would put Hollywood to shame. Twice.

"Not drinking chlorine for you, Ven," you tell her, amused, while still holding her secure against you. Displeased with your answer, she pushes away from your chest with both hands, and you let her go, let her splash you as she makes a face.

"Don't drink it, christ," she rolls her eyes, as if she believes you're being wilfully stupid about the whole thing.

"Then I'll just taste like chlorine," you pointed out, wading over to her. The answering smile you get is particularly mean.

"I'd rather you taste like chlorine than Felix," despite all the questions and implications her disdainful words raise, you match her energy, smiling back with a blithe confidence as you approach her once more.

"You sure you mean that, Vennie?"

Immediately, Venetia is scarlet, spluttering, playing exceptionally well at being horrified by your implications, if not for the ease with which she lets herself get wrapped up in you once more.

"You're gross, you're awfully gross, you both are. I can't believe -" she tells you, looks in your eyes like she's determined to make you believe it, "I'll wash your mouth out myself," she threatens, and you nod while not trying particularly hard to hide your amusement. With a childlike scowl she dips herself mostly underwater, still encircled loosely by your arms, scowling at you all the while. Like a little, blonde crocodile, nose and eyes making sure you're watching her every move, taking her and her threat seriously.

When she surfaces, cheeks puffed out and presumably filled with water, you have to let her go for how hard your laughing. Then the chase is on.

The first mouthful of water she loses to her own laughter, and shouting at you to stop trying to get away, while you thrash through the length of the pool. Every so often she almost catches you, but you splash her and wriggle free and she shrieks with faux offense. Until she's got you pinned to the side of the pool, water just up past your waist, and a devilish look of triumph in her eyes.

At first she taps her lips expectantly. Of course her mouth is once again full to bursting with pool water. Shaking your head adamantly, you try and lean away, still faintly laughing, but Venetia changes tact.

Instead of caging you against the side, she carefully wraps her arms around your neck, gaze turning soft and fond and amused as she leans in. You know what she's doing, but you let her have it this time.

Winding your arms around her waist, you let her shotgun a mouthful of pool water into your mouth, and try not to laugh to keep it from going down your airways or up your nose. Venetia, in triumph, the moment she knows the water is in your mouth, she pulls back and clamps her hand over your mouth, looking altogether too proud of herself.

Drenched, beautiful, and grinning from ear to ear, the look in her eyes betrays just how into you, or at the very least into this moment, she is.

"Wash your mouth out before you come anywhere near me next time," she orders in a firm whisper that's definitely doing more for you than you'd like to admit. Possibly for Venetia too, considering how she's unable to wipe the smile off of her own face, "you filthy, little doggie."

No-one, maybe not even Felix, is ever allowed to find out how quickly those words have you all but melting at her command. The fight drains from you, and God all you want is to be good, good, good. Judging by Venetia's pleased reaction, she can feel the moment you start to submit, can probably see it in your eyes. Her hand stays over your mouth until she's satisfied you've swished the water around enough, and you spit the water back out to the side, instead of at her like you'd been intending to before she'd called you out.

"Can't believe you said that to me, really, Y/N," she sighed, shaking her head. Neither of you moved; you flush against the side of the pool, and Venetia pressed flush to you.

"So you're the only one who can say things in the hopes of getting manhandled?" Giving a sheepish grin, even if you don't fully believe what you're saying, there's a semblance of self-satisfaction when Venetia gives in. She grabs your chin and pulls you in for one more rough kiss, pressing against you, trapping you in this moment. A rare instance in which she gives you what she thinks you want.

But some of your bite is coming back.

"So does the chlorine taste better?" You smirked. Immediately she splashes you with a wave of water to the face. By the time you've spluttered through a recovery, she's halfway to the stairs.

"I hate you," is not a real answer to the question, but that's okay, you weren't really looking for one as much as you had been looking to rile her up, "and you've made me all wet - shut it -" she warns, cutting off the crude joke you both knew you were about to make, as she starts up the pool stairs with determination, "and you've ruined my beautiful afternoon plans."

Waiting at the top of the stairs, she turns back to you, simply watching her with a grin, giving you an impatient gesture. Your smile widens, but still, you obligingly follow her.

Even while mad at you, Venetia was a creature of predictable desires. Very rarely did her frustration with you outweigh the benefit of your company to her, and now was no different. Drying yourselves off with her towel, the only one either of you had brought down, it seems her mood is already lightening once more, letting you know that she'd gotten her hands on the latest Harry Potter novel. When she pulls the book out from where she'd stashed it under the long lounge, she picks up Felix's shirt and tosses it to you.

You know to put it on, just like you know not to comment on it.

Without asking, nor having to be asked, you settle yourself on the lounge chair and insistently pat the space beside you; almost enough for Venetia.

"Let me read over your shoulder," an incredibly flimsy excuse that you both see through, but she still settles herself on the lounge chair too. There's not quite enough room, so you're almost on your side, arm around Venetia's shoulders, head resting against hers, pressed up against her whole side. Legs curled up together, your other hand once more comes to rest on her lower belly, casually intimate, warm, tips of your fingers just barely tucked into her bikini bottoms. You're not reading; your face pressed so close to her's is proof enough of that.

"Your eyelashes are tickling my cheek," in these moments she sounds so much younger than she is. The peel of laughter that rings out from her as you nuzzle your face further against her cheek, pointedly fluttering your eyelashes, it reminds you of the way she'd laugh at the sleepovers the two of you shared in the first few years of meeting each other.

And you settle back down, angling your face only slightly to keep your lashes from bothering her, and rub faint circles against the soft skin of her stomach with your thumb. Venetia opens her book, and finally relaxes.

It's been a long time since you'd seen Venetia fully relax around anyone who wasn't you. You wonder if anyone else has noticed, has wondered, has thought to figure out the how and why of the girl beside you. Contrary to popular belief, it's been a long time since Venetia's actually sought you out for sex. Constant lewd flirting and suggestive texts aside.

So much of Venetia's self worth was tied to being sexually attractive. Pretty and fashionable and fuckable. Needed biblically, carnally. Pick up, use, put down. There was such a thrill in being wanted that it took her too long to understand why she was hollow; don't let me go felt selfish for her to even think. But you'd learned to read through the things she leaves unsaid.

Sex she could get anywhere, but the touch-starved Venetia knew you understood the truth of what she wants. It's why she treated you like furniture, like she was entitled to your personal space.

You often find yourself wondering if Venetia only touches you in ways she wishes she could touch Felix. More casually than even now, and many still would consider their relationship too close. You are kind and loving and playful and a wonderful friend, but you are nothing of real substance to her; you are a warm body and the closest she can be to Felix half the time.

For anyone else it would be too hot for this kind of proximity, but never for Venetia. So you drown in the heat of her skin pressed against hers, and let yourself drift asleep in the peaceful afternoon.

It's a sleep so peaceful that you don't even properly wake when her soft chatter infects your hazy mind. Farleigh's voice drifts through your head and this haze -

"- no-one tells me anything," you can hear Venetia pouting without even opening your eyes. Her book must be closed because she's got a hand on your thigh, bringing your leg further over her.

"Of course they don't, you should have seen both of them earlier when I accidentally implied -"

"Careful, Farleigh," you yawned, carefully snuggling further against Venetia. The pair are quiet for a few long seconds, but your eyes remained closed.

"See what I mean?" Farleigh eventually breaks the rather tense silence with a wry, pointed comment.

"Can't believe you didn't tell me we were having a guest," Venetia sounds like she's sulking, but you just make a noncommittal hum in the back of your throat, "feeling possessive of our impending Mister Quick, are you, pet?" And you feel her fingers gentle on your cheek, taking your face in her hand and lifting you to look her in the eyes. Cracking your eyes open, you level a flat gaze at her. Also, you realise how long you must have been sleeping; it's sunset.

"Simply giving you space to form your own opinions of him, Ven," you told her, gaze sliding pointedly to Farleigh, who had splayed himself out on the opposing lounge chair. He stuck his tongue out at you.

"I'm a big girl, pet; I just want to know what you think, what I should expect."

God, the Catton siblings are phenomenal at playing innocent in a way that's completely and utterly unconvincing.

Venetia's still holding your face close, gaze sharp and demanding an answer. Maybe you should untangle yourself from her, from this conversation, but something about being around her always made you want to play along, even if out of spite.

"I think it doesn't matter what I say," you tell her softly, speaking with an honesty you don't often allow yourself around most of the Cattons, or even Farleigh, "nor do I think it matters what Farleigh says, no matter how cruel he is about Ollie," everything about your tone, your expression, the way your grip on her retracts as much as you're able, it comes as a surprise to her, and judging by your peripheries, Farleigh too, "you're going to want him, adore him; Oliver is unconventionally wonderful, and you are Venetia Catton."

"The actual fuck do you mean by that?" She pulls away, struggling to her feet with a scowl, and you relax fully into the spot she'd just abandoned. By this time you smile up at her, warm, adoring.

"I mean it is in your nature to love," it's not entirely a lie, but Venetia only sees the truth in it, the fondness. Her irritation softens, "I mean no opinion will ever matter above yours, and I know you, Ven; you're hardwired into your own brand of love at first sight." It's an incredibly, meticulously diplomatic cover for your earlier, far harsher statement. Farleigh's watching you like you're a magician before his very eyes; Venetia, thankfully, doesn't look at him.

Sitting back down gingerly on the edge of the lounge, she gives into your sweet words when you softly tell her you love her. She doesn't say it back - she never will - but she kisses you on the forehead before standing again.

"Almost thought you were being a bitch again," she tells you loftily, wrapping her towel around her waist like a skirt, cocking her hip, "and I've about had it up to here with you and your -"

"Yapping?" You supplied, playing up the canine allegations just to see the way she fails the hide the quirk of her lips, the dead give away that she's desperate to smile.

"Yapping, exactly." And she turns swiftly on her heel, trying her best to storm away. When you call out that you'll see her at dinner, she flips you off. If you look to Farleigh, you think you might be able to see the cogs turning in his mind. Slowly, his mouth opens, then there's a distinct look in his eyes that says he thinks better about whatever he was going to say, and he closes it once more.

"Spit it out."

"I actually don't think I will," at least he admits it, "I think I'm in awe of your way with words and I'm gonna keep the rest to myself," he looks out at the pool, at the grounds beyond it, tucking his hands behind his head.

"Farleigh -"

"No," he says firmer, and looks at you, but his expression isn't harsh, "I think you're right; I think we should have our own opinions, and I don't want mine to get in the way of our friendship," surprisingly, he sounds very genuinely sincere; it hits the centre of your chest, and you take a moment to consider his words. "Oliver Quick," still the barest bit of disdain, but he's clearly trying, "is someone you and my cousin clearly care about; end. Of. Sentence." It does look like it pains him to say, but you're grateful nonetheless.

For a very long time, the two of you lay in comfortable silence, side by side, as the sun turn the world gold-red-lilac-blue around you. Just as you feel like you should go and get dressed for supper, you can't help but try again.

"Come on, what were you going to say -?" You don't even finish the teasing question before Farleigh blurts out -

"Just how good was Oliver's dick for you to actually be this possessive of him before he even gets here?"

And the question makes you absolutely burst out laughing, a sound which Farleigh thankfully echoes. The cathartic release is greatly welcomed as you both stand. Wrapping your arm around Farleigh's waist as the two of you head back, but he's still waiting for the answer he knows you're not nearly too shy to give.

"I'm not possessive," you justify immediately, though Farleigh's snort gives away that he doesn't even begin to believe you, "but you can never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever tell Venetia -"

"That good?" Farleigh sounds incredibly sceptical, but you go quiet; you wonder if he can tell how smug you're being right now. Clearly, after a moment of silence, the disbelief in his voice gives him away; "seriously; that good?" You make an affirmative noise in the back of your throat, "okay," Farleigh actually sounds a little impressed, "Felix's jealousy makes a little more sense; I assume he knows?"

"Of course he knows," you shake your head dismissively, "and he's not jealous," anymore, you leave off the end.

"Am I jealous of you?" Farleigh murmurs, mostly as a joke, but knowing him there's at least part of him considering it, "who would have guessed; Oliver Quick."

For the first time when Farleigh says his name, there's only intrigue on his tongue.

[bonefall]

while i do agree with the sentiment that bloodclan should be more nuanced as an entity i still believe it is wrong to portray them as the necessary "response" to clan injustice (haven't read the books in years but i am pretty sure that bloodclan started with no connection to the clans) / an opposition to the clan's flaws. some of the thing scourge did was out of selfishness and bloodclan isn't the other colour of the black and white debacle with the clans. the clans are heavily flawed yes, but it isn't realistic to completely say that their structure had no redeeming qualities altogether and that all outsider groups is fundamentally better than the clans.

all clans and groups are flawed in their own way and i believe we shouldnt brush past the things that other groups (the sisters and what they do with their toms *cough cough*) did solely to be able to degrade the clans and their culture.

Buddy, you're setting up a strawman. I promise you that if you look into the reduxes I've made of BloodClan, Guardians, The Sisters, and the Tribe, you will see that I don't make any of them a "flawless" alternative to Clan life.

Nor do I say that the Clans have no redeeming qualities. In fact, you can browse the "Clan Culture" tag to see the various expansions I've made to show how these traditions, values, and technological advances make Clan life so alluring.

The overarching theme of BB is that the nature of culture is change. For better AND for worse.

With respect, I think there's something insidious in the wording of "the things the other groups did." We're talking about fan responses to a work that consistently demonizes and degrades foreigners to make the Clans look like the "best way to live," justifying xenophobia. These are not real groups, they are writing choices.

In the franchise with some pretty extreme examples of misogyny, the authors said "What if bizarro world where women rule and have no men... woag..." and only includes a single Clan-alligned member of this culture, with a BAD opinion of them, who can't even do his diplomatic job because he HATES them so much.

In the same franchise that shows Fireheart getting bullied, facing prejudice, and fighting a murderous tyrant who publically executes a mixed-race character, their endgame villain is an outsider, like him, but this one IS a godless heathen who HATES love and friendship and banned families.

In the VERY same franchise which made its first non-malicious group barely able to get through an arc without needing to be saved by Clan cats, totally unable to defend themselves, framed as "whiny" for not wanting their clearly 'inferior' culture to be forcefully changed.

And I'm re-stating all this because, again, no offense to you in particular Anon, but I've been seeing a few people with a sentiment like yours lately. Complaints into a vacuum that don't make targeted critique of anyone's fanworks, gesturing at this broad "woobification" which is apparently out there somewhere over the rainbow, saying things like "well Scourge is selfish" or "well Moonlight abandoned her 13 year old" as if we haven't BEEN knew.

As if we're not all directly responding to these choices. As if I haven't written ESSAYS on this topic.

Since this was about BloodClan in particular though, and you admit you haven't read the books in years, please go back and actually read Rise of Scourge before trying to make critique of the ways fanon rewrites its origin. It's EXPLICITLY a response to the Clans, in the text, that the Erins wrote, it is canon that fanon is working with.

And you want people to take that out and approach it a different way... why? Because it's so incredulous to you that a nation forms in response to a threatening neighbor? That a common enemy through invasions is a way that people might choose to unite, and encourage their new culture to value brutality? Because you don't like the idea of Clan Culture's XENOPHOBIC BATTLE CULTURE affecting surrounding communities??

Could YOU, maybe, be doing this "woobification" thing I keep hearing about? Can I play this stupid game too? What's our stupid prize? Can it be a lollipop? Do we get stickers

TL;DR, ok.

[raisedbythetv89]

Anyone who says "Rory should have married Logan" or that Emily and Richard were a good influence on Rory or that they weren't "that bad" of parents to Lorelai just DO NOT GET IT and "it" being literally the entire messaging of the whole show.

Rory started at chilton when Lorelai left (literally Rory had her birthday party in ep 6 and her first day of chilton is ep 2)

They have the exact same name, look the same and it's said countless times that Rory is just like her mother. So, Rory is picking up in Lorelai's "correct life path" (according to Richard and Emily) exactly where Lorelai left off when she had her and left home, continuing at the "good schools" going to an ivy league college, has a coming out party, joins the D.A.R. etc. Rory has the life Lorelai's parents always wanted for Lorelai AND YET!!!

Rory still doesn't marry "her christopher" aka Logan, but is having his baby and is choosing to be a single mom while Jess is her endgame because Luke is Lorelai's endgame and Jess is Luke and Rory is Lorelai.

Literally the ENTIRE POINT of the show is that everything that Emily and Richard were so worked up about and prioritized all of Lorelai's life about her life choices and how she "threw her life away" because she got pregnant, moved out and became apart of the working class and didn't go to any ivy league college and marry Christopher do not matter and the idea that she "threw her life away" and wasted her potential is absolute bullshit. Because Rory does all the things Lorelai didn't get to do and the results were IDENTICAL except Rory wasn't a teen mom and she would likely continue to live at home with Lorelai and Luke when her baby is first born breaking the those specific Lorelai/Emily cycles because Lorelai did her best to meet her daughter's emotional needs and therefore was able to have a infinitely better relationship with her and Rory is always willing to accept her help and support because it doesn't come at the emotional cost that Lorelai getting help from her parents took because they are literally emotionally abusive and controlling parents - they aren't just bad parents they are abusive (that's a whole other post but there are people who are just human and make mistakes like most of the other characters in the show and then their are abusive ones and Emily especially but also Richard emotionally abuse their daughter even though they help with money and aren't completely horrible 100% of the time that doesn't make them not abusive and while that is never explicitly stated we see and hear how horrible all of the other chilton parents and Logan's circle of friends parents are to their kids demonstrating just how horrible parents in Emily and Richards social circle truly are and it has nothing to do with Lorelai "being difficult or stubborn" as Emily tries to claim but I digress...)

That point of, what Emily and Richard prioritized their entire lives is all bullshit, is literally driven home by Emily's speech at the end of AYITL that "all of this is bullshit!" Emily acknowledges - once Richard is gone and therefore no longer fits into her society like she used to as a wife and married woman - that playing along with all of the societal norms and her ultra-wealthy social circle is SOUL SUCKING and bullshit! She is SO HAPPY to have a home deed with HER NAME ON IT. She has an interested suitor but it's clear she never plans to marry him and she gets a job at a museum as a tour guide for crying out loud!! The old Emily would be horrified by that - she's literally making choices so similar to Lorelai's by the end showing Lorelai's choices WERE THE RIGHT ONES. Moving away from an environment that hurt you and misunderstood and abused you and fighting and working your ass off to build a life that's yours. Even building a loving community with her housekeepers family that moves in with her!!!

All of Luke's "rantings" about the wealthy and corporate greed, owning and operating a diner even though he's shown to have the cooking skills and know-how to do "more". Taking something he inherited from his father but making it his own by turning it into a diner instead of keeping it a hardware store. Whereas by the end of AYITL Christopher is working within his family's business, staying on the path his parents wanted for him and it's the same with Logan - marrying the woman his parents want him to marry and working for his father - The show tells and shows us over and over again, not just doing what society tells you you should do with your life but knowing yourself well enough to decide for yourself and taking the time to find out is what is best and you shouldn't let anyone else dictate that for you. The show is very pro "break out of the boxes society tries to shove you into"

There is a whole other convo to be had about privilege that comes with being white and thin and pretty and coming from money that more easily enables your ability to do so as well as Lorelai having a community in Stars Hollow that has always supported her which allowed her to leave home at 16 with a newborn and build a great life for herself because if she failed she wouldn't end up homeless because her support system and her parents provided a safety net so the message is very much only aimed at the characters within the show that have the ability to make your own way in life but that is what Rory and Lorelai do (Rory's really starts with rejecting Logan's marriage proposal when she graduates and taking a grueling, low paying campaign job instead of using any of her many connections to get her a more prestigious and stable position whereas before she was absolutely on the "conveyer belt" described by the "other daughter" of the wealthy family of Harvard alumni who helped Rory with all her college application questions, who chose not to go to college like her two other siblings) as well and Luke and Jess both make their own way and build a life that best suits their passions and skills. Which is why Luke/Lorelai and Jess/Rory are endgame because you can't have a relationship between someone who fits into their societal mold and one who broke out, it just doesn't work. Logan's affair with Rory shows he has the desire to break out of his mold but never has the strength to do so, just like Christopher which is why they could never truly keep up with the Gilmore Girls.

The show does have flaws in it's execution of this message because of internalized misogyny, white supremacy, and fatphobia that we are still struggling to get out of writers rooms to this day so don't think this post is me saying everything about the show or Rory and Lorelai is perfect because they absolutely are flawed characters who makes questionable decisions and mistakes but to me they are all very realistic of 2 pretty white women in the early 2000's dealing with all of the trauma that came from Richard and Emily's abuse and Rory being raised by a teen mom and a completely unreliable father for most of her childhood.

Anyway Team Jess, Team Luke and Team Rory receives entirely too much hate because of misogyny and her trauma is completely overlooked because she so rarely shows how much hurt she's endured in her young life and is carrying the weight of the world and her entire family's expectations and "legacy" on her young shoulders. Emily and Richard never being able to let go Lorelai getting pregnant and leaving home and SHOWING THAT/SAYING IT around Rory made her feel responsible for all the issues between Lorelai and her parents, her grandparents pain and disappointment and to "fix" all her mother's "mistakes" - her burn out/break down in AYITL makes COMPLETE sense and her choice to allow herself to be "just like her mom" by keeping her baby and being a single mom is the start of her shedding those burdens she's carried her entire life and letting her just be herself even if that looks a lot like her mother who her grandparents and everyone in their world has been telling her for decades is a failure and a disappointment. Rory has always tried to please her grandparents and having to tell her grandmother she's going to be a single mom is basically the worse thing she could do in Emily's eyes (at least the old Emily who knows how post AYITL might react because she's stopped caring and therefore stopped trying to be so controlling but her revelation might not be enough to counter news like that that hits a wound that she literally never even tried to heal). Radical self acceptance despite what society aka her grandparents and their world thinks is what is meant for both Lorelai and Rory and choosing Luke/Jess over Christopher/Logan is apart of that acceptance.

[myfairkatiecat]

NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE, BUT i HATE KEEFE SO SO MUCH AND IM WONDERING (GENUINELY) WHAT YOU LIKE ABOUT HIM BECAUSE I CAN'T SEE THE APPEAL

ALSO YOU DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER THIS IF IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE OR BUGS YOU SORRY IF IT DOES EITHER/BOTH

Hey anon! Those are some strong feelings you've got there!

This is a tricky question to answer since a lot of the things that make me like Keefe's character make some people dislike his character, so you might be about to get a list of all the things you despise about him by asking me what I like about him. I like him because I think he's a good character, and way better written than people give him (or Shannon) credit for. I don't always love Wattpad Fanon Keefe (perfect boyfriend, super sweet, always says the right thing) because it erases so much of his character. I like canon Keefe. He's a raw character with a lot going on and a whole slew of well-developed character traits.

Before I jump into this post, however, I want to say one thing: I think a lot of people who dislike Keefe are mostly frustrated with Shannon's portrayal of his character flaws, and I don't think they give Shannon enough credit for the way she's intentionally written Sophie as an unreliable narrator. It's rather clear during different parts of the series that Sophie isn't the most reliable narrator, and Shannon also explicitly writes in the margins of her annotated KOTLC book that she used a certain scene as an example of when Keefe takes his jokes too far. Sophie forgives him without even an outright apology in that scene, but Shannon makes it clear in her annotations that she, the author, isn't writing it off. I don't own the annotated so I can't remember the exact quote, but it's my biggest case for why I think Shannon has intentionally written Keefe with these character flaws, as character flaws, and yes, Shannon sees them as character flaws and has said so, so for the purposes of this ask response here, let's assume Shannon Messenger is aware she's writing a flawed character, because I do think it's rather unfair to her how often the people of the fandom accuse her of brushing by Keefe's actions when in reality she's just writing Sophie Foster as true to her character as she can.

With that, let's jump into this little essay about Why Keefe Is An Awesome Character And I Love Him that I've writtten for you!

My AP English teacher always used to say, "characters are more human than humans." I believe the purpose of this quote was that well-written characters exemplify what makes us human—our love, our experiences, our regret, our strengths and flaws—in ways that connect strongly to the audience. Part of the reason so many people like Keefe's character, I believe, is because they are able to connect strongly to him. This is because he is written as "more human than humans," as my AP English teacher would say—even though technically, he's not a human, but an elf.

One major strong point of Keefe Sencen's character is that his strengths and weaknesses are often wrapped up in the same character traits. This is something that is true for many people. For example, my politeness in real life social situations makes me a lot of friends, but too often can turn to people-pleasing. A good character, in my opinion, should have both strengths and flaws stemming from all of their major character traits. Here are a few of Keefe's:

His humor

One major aspect of Keefe's character is his humor. Whether you personally find it funny or not (I think I found it a little funnier when I was eleven... I'm sorta growing out of some of it, though his wittier comments in the latest books are more my style, which might be a sign of both me and the character maturing) it's an enormous part of his character. As a major character trait, it presents both strengths and flaws.

Often, he brings levity to heavy situations that the other characters appreciate. One instance I remember is in Flashback. They were preparing for a confrontation, and I don't remember what it was that Keefe said, but Sophie narrates that she appreciated the moment of comedic relief, because it eased some of her anxiety. Keefe is able to take intense moments and settle them with quick-witted (or hilariously not funny) comments. This is likely a skill he adopted in order to handle the crushing pressure of being in his own home as a kid. (Fitz, contrastingly, adapted the skill of just holding lots and lots of weight, bending and bending and bending until he finally breaks. Not to make my Keefe essay about Fitz, of course, but I know someone is going to point out that Fitz also dealt with a lot of pressure at home, and wanted to point out that he developed somewhat unhealthy coping mechanisms as well, they're just different from Keefe's.)

However, sometimes his jokes are unwanted or go too far. Shannon comments on this specifically at the end of the first book, where Keefe makes a joke about how he helped save her when she almost died, and then sorta trailed of when he realized he was talking about her almost-death. Shannon commented in the margins that this was a moment of Keefe experiencing awareness that his joking has gone a little too far. She hasn't released annotated editions of any later books, but I'm confident that at least a few other scenes are examples of this as well. Sometimes I run across them during a read through and I'm like "huh, it's interesting to have a good idea as to what Shannon was thinking writing this." Sometimes, his constant making light of serious situations really isn't funny to anyone, and it keeps him from accepting the gravity of what they're doing, likely contributing to his reckless behavior.

2. His intuitive communication

Something to notice about Keefe is that even though he's often socially unaware, either in ways that indicate his childhood trauma or just his emotionally immaturity as a teenager, he's very good at knowing exactly what to say for his intended goal. That intended goal isn't always necessarily something he should want, mind you—we just talked about how his need to lighten the mood sometimes causes problems, and he knows enough about some of his friends (cough Fitz cough) to know exactly what words will hurt them the most in an argument as well.

This can be a strength for him, especially when he's comforting Sophie. Since he can feel her emotions instinctively, he often knows exactly what she needs to hear. He's actually incredibly sweet at times, especially in Legacy (I mean... there are other issues there, which I'll get into another time). For example, when he's telling her the reasons Bronte isn't the worst possible father for her to have. There's nothing inherently great about the specific way he comforted her, but it did ease some of Sophie's queasiness, because he knew what she needed to hear. Also, there are the scenes in Legacy where he's telling her that Sophie Foster is all she needs to be, or the scene in Everblaze where he reminds her that no matter who her parents are, she's still going to be exactly the same person she is, and they can't change her. Keefe is really good at knowing the right thing to say. (This might have stemmed from walking on eggshells his entire life aroud his parents!)

However, this also makes it really easy for Keefe to be manipulative, or lie, or say the completely wrong thing on purpose. The best example of the first two was when he somehow convinced everyone in just a few sentences that he totally wasn't going to go to Loamnore with them. Somehow, the guy famous for not doing what he's told convinced everyone he was going to do what he was told, and the thing is, it wasn't even unrealistic. He gave really good reasons that it made sense for him to stay back, and even made jokes about it, about how he and the others not going were "too cool for Loamnore." He had everyone convinced he really wasn't going to be reckless this time, when he totally knew his plan the whole time. The famous Unlocked healing center scene is a great example of the last one, because Keefe got upset with Fitz and knew exactly what to say to make him the most upset and embarassed in that situation. He only even took back the words when Sophie became upset as well. He and Fitz are in... not an awesome place in the latest books, and his POV reflects that.

3. His courage

Let's be honest. Is Keefe a runner? Yes. But when he runs, is he running from a fight? Nope. Never. One of the major instances of this guy running away actually put himself in a ton of danger. He doesn't run for cover, or safety. He runs usually out of fear of himself, his relationships, or that he isn't able to help in any other way. If we really look at his character, Keefe is incredibly brave. All of the KOTLC main cast is. They've got guts. But a lot of the others have a more guarded sort of courage, while Keefe's is... well. Not guarded.

Keefe doesn't think things through, and sometimes, there isn't time for that. Sometimes, immediate action is necessary, and Keefe is great with that. Quick, in-the-moment plans are his specialty. He's not afraid to stand up to people who want to hurt him (*cough* Dimitar scene *cough*).

But he's also extremely reckless (*cough* Dimitar scene *cough*). Because his courage is less guarded than his friends (such as Sophie's or Biana's) he may be more inclined to carry out his plans quickly, but he's also more likely to not think things through fully and end up putting his own life at risk, and sometimes even his friends' lives, even when he's trying to help.

4. His caution and fight or flight instinct

To everyone who ever said Keefe's character is flat and his strengths and flaws never develop or change, what version of KOTLC are you even reading?! Like I mentioned above, Keefe's recklessness is a huge part of his character since book one, but now I'm here about to talk about his caution/obsessive worrying/the famous running away, specifically the second time. This is a relatively new character trait for him. It develops slightly after Lodestar/the first half of Nightfall. Keefe truly did learn a lot from leaving for the Neverseen and lying to Sophie before going to Ravagog. We're given an extremely limited window into this process, since Sophie had other things going on and Keefe's short story focused a lot on his crush on her, but Keefe noticeably steps back and stops trying to turn things into a "Keefe show" (as Sophie puts it in Nightfall) and attempts to work more as a team, which is definitely character development again. However, where he really learned his lesson was Loamnore. He showed up, again going behind Sophie's back and coming up with a plan of his own, and it ended with Sophie tied up on the ground and him being forced to undergo a transformation that gave him powers he's terrified of. While his recklessness didn't entirely vanish after this (his response in the end was to run away to the literal Forbidden Cities) but is definitely flavored with siginificantly more caution and an attempt to be genuinely responsible.

In Unlocked, Keefe noticeably asks for people to be kept away from him, including Sophie, so that he can keep from accidentally controlling anybody. He also stops using his voice entirely. These are actually incredibly selfless things for him to do. He loves to be with his friends (particularly Sophie for reasons) and he loves to talk! And neither of those things are bad! But he isn't willing to put them in danger. In fact, he actually sort of overdoes it in Unlocked, even asking for Dex to make him an ability restrictor. (While he's well-intentioned here, I think Keefe brushes past the idea that making one of those again might be something of a traumatic experience for Dex.) In the end, he's so worried about it that he runs away, but he does it with considerably more of a plan than he did when he joined the Neverseen. He knew he'd know the languages, he arranged a way to get his hands on human currency, and while Unraveled isn't out yet, the state in which they found Keefe along with some of the things Keefe described about his experience make it clear that Keefe purposefully learned a lot about human cultures and successfully blended in and made his life work.

His newfound carefulness paired with his classic instinct to run really encapsulate a lot of his character strengths and flaws. In the later books, it's actually a sign that he's developing as a character and moving away from some of his past character flaws, but like all well-written major character traits, it comes with its own drawbacks.

Another important aspect of Keefe's character is the way he is noticeably shaped by his own experiences. I mentioned the whole "being more human than human" thing earlier, and while yes, he's still not human, I think this is part of what makes so many people connect to his character. He's realistic. He has even more strengths and flaws than the ones I've mentioned above, and all of them obviously come from somewhere specific in his past.

Why is he so chronically unserious? Because he couldn't be serious enough for his family. Before he met Fitz and started spending time with the Vackers, he didn't even really have friends. He had a suffocated home and impossible expectations, and when he tried to live up to them, he just wasn't good enough. So he adapted to break the tension. He adapted to just... not try ("those who don't try never look foolish" -Fiyero in "Dancing Through Life," from Wicked. I think Fiyero is... very Keefe coded) and started skipping classes, breaking the rules, playing pranks and doing anything to cut through the tension. He dealt with pressure by tossing it off his shoulders and just deciding to not deal with it. Obviously, deciding to Just Not Deal With Things eventually began to hurt him, and he slowly and painfully begins to learn to have difficult conversations (but hey, at least he's getting there? I think Neverseen is where his development in that particular area becomes apparent, with the way he opens up more and even admits where he's really beginning to feel guilty).

Why is he such a master of knowing what to say? Because he grew up walking on eggshells around his parents. And when he decided to stop caring about his parents, he weaseled his way out of trouble whenever possible, and learned to use other people's emotions to learn things from them and get his way. "But Katie," you say, "reading other people's emotions without permission and using them to get his way is a very not good thing to do!" You're very correct! And it's an enormous indication of how skewed his view of normal is. What's the one Empath he grew up observing? His father. Look, he knows his parents suck, but because his parents suck, he has no way of knowing what is and isn't normal. Is his father doing this particular thing because he's a horrible person or because that's a normal thing to do? How on Earth is Keefe supposed to know?! Well, there are rules about telepathy, and there aren't any rules about empathy, so the external indications seem to tell him that this particular thing is normal. This is yet another example of Keefe's life experiences having a huge impact on his character.

Why is he so reckless? Because he doesn't care. Even his his most noble moments of bravery stem from the same place of not caring what happens to his life. It's the same reason his deep care for his friends' lives turns to quickly into self-sacrificial tendencies (which show themselves in canon on numerous occasions and usually don't even help). He has this "better me than any of them" mindset that's deeply rooted in his childhood trauma. Even though he's fought tooth and nail against everything his parents have ever said about him, he still has this ingrained sense of worthlessness. The way he says he "doesn't care about permanent damage" and tells Sophie that he's going to make sure he's always the one who ends up wrapped up in bandages and also has that moment in Unlocked where he wants to retreat into the darkness and never wake up? Look, we all know he needs therapy, but maybe reread that last sentence. ...Keep reading it until you get it.

And finally, what makes him finally learn to be cautious? Because he sees firsthand how his reckless plans are impacting the lives of other people around him, and if there's any negative trait that Keefe is NOT, it's selfish. Keefe may be occasionally selfish—you know, case by case basis, like most people—but it isn't a character trait of his by any means. He struggles significantly more with not caring about himself than he struggles with not caring about others. So when he realizes it isn't only his own life he's putting on the line, and sees the way it's hurting his friends, he takes an enormous step back, and even runs away for a time. Now, it would be great if he would start caring about himself too, because this poor guy needs therapy and his level of self-deprecation at this point is way out of control. But it is the case that he cares about his friends a lot (if someone quotes this part and brings up Fitz, I'm going to point out that their friendship has fallen way out due to actions and reactions on both sides of that relationship) and ultimately it ends up adjusting the balance in his character traits and their related strengths and flaws.

In short, Keefe is a lot of things. He's good things, he's bad things, he's consistent things. He reads like a real person—someone who frequently makes the same style of mistakes but does learn and grow over the course of his life. Every character trait of him stems from some aspect of his past. Shannon didn't write him with a slew of random personality traits—each and every one of them ties down to who he is and how he's shaped by his experiences. He can be a truly amazing friend. He can be a really horrible friend. He can be sweet and amazing and say the perfect thing. He can say the wrong-est possible thing with the intention of cutting the other person deep. He's a slow learner, but he learns nonetheless. His character development isn't a smooth arc in which he has trait A, event B happens and at the end he has trait C. That's common in storytelling, but not real life. Keefe learns, grows, then makes the same mistake again, then learns stronger. His character development sees both growth and setbacks, and the changes are subtle. He's still the same person even when he changes.

He's good things, he's bad things, he's consistent things, and I think it is out of an awareness of our own humanity that so many people relate to him and therefore enjoy his character.

I hope you enjoyed this essay, anon. Believe it or not, I actually have plenty more to say about any of these topics, and some other topics that I didn't even bring up, so if you want to see even more, just direct me towards what you want to hear and I assure you I'll have thoughts. Have a wonderful day!

[stobinesque]

The last post I reblogged has me thinking about how Lucas is treated by his friends/the wider UD gang in-universe/from a more Watsonian perspective. Because here are the facts:

Lucas has spent most of his childhood being explicitly/overtly bullied for his race [being called "Midnight" by their season 1 bullies]¹

At the beginning of Season 2, Mike clearly assumes that Lucas agreed to go as Winston for no other reason than both of them being black. But when called on this, Mike cannot bring himself to admit that's what he was thinking. (He also does not apologize to Lucas.)

Until Billy attacks him, Lucas doesn't really know why Max is trying to avoid being seen with him when Billy picks her up/at her house, but having been on the receiving end of "my family is racist so I can't be seen with you," whether or not you actively know the reason someone is trying to hide you from another person, it feels alienating. Also, he absolutely figures it out in hindsight.

But since at first he doesn't know that Billy inexplicably and aggressively hates him/doesn't want him interacting with Max, from Lucas' perspective he gets attacked by a white boy 4-5 years his senior and almost twice his size out of literally nowhere. Said boy explicitly declares to him "You're dead, Sinclair."²

Lucas, upon entering high school, decides that he wants to acquire enough social pressure to protect him and his friends from the bullying they had to deal with throughout middle school. Neither Mike nor Dustin seem willing/able to understand why he might be interested in that protection.

There are a couple different ways to interpret Lucas (and Patrick)³ choosing to stay with Jason and Andy, but I think it's reasonable to assume that Lucas would be able to recognize a mob/witch hunt forming, and I also think it is reasonable to assume that Lucas knows that mobs tend to target the most vulnerable members of a population, and that he himself both as a black kid and a member of Hellfire is at risk.

Nancy knows for a fact that Jason was at the army surplus store in search of a gun, and while it is implied that she informs the group of this, they seem not to take that into any consideration when planning because

Taken altogether, this paints a picture that in-universe, all of Lucas' friends should be intimately aware that he has experienced overt racism for his entire life. But, the Halloween costume argument also suggests that even though they're all aware of said racism, none of the white members of the group really feel comfortable talking about it. Lucas does explicitly call Mike out on thinking that he would be Winston (or that Mike can't be) "because he's black," and Mike flat out lies to his face. If this is one of the first times Lucas has confronted one of the Party members about their own implicit racism, I think it would be reasonable for him to walk away from that exchange deciding that race isn't something he can have honest conversations with his friends about.

We also never see Billy attacking Lucas addressed on-screen after it happens. Which means we never get to see anyone check-in with Lucas about what happened, or see him process what happened.

So come season 4 Lucas has great reason both to want more social capital/protection and to feel uncomfortable explicitly talking to his friends about why that might be. (Especially with the added baggage of Billy having just been killed, which assuredly inspired a lot of complicated feelings for Lucas, especially because of how much his death impacted Max.) Instead, he makes one simple request of his friends (who he both wants at his game and still wants to play D&D with them): get Eddie to reschedule the game. And, sure, it's Eddie's fault that the game doesn't get rescheduled. But it is absolutely on Mike and Dustin that they didn't choose to skip (which honestly probably would have forced Eddie to reschedule anyway??).

So for the most important game of the season, Lucas winds up without his friends or his sister there to watch him make the winning shot, and he misses out on the D&D game that he wanted to play with his friends. It's entirely possible that Lucas still would have decided to go to the afterparty even if Mike and Dustin had come to the game. But I think it's reasonably likely that he'd have gone to celebrate separately with them! Or at least would have left the party early, rather than getting so drunk he pukes the next morning. So when Jason riles the whole team into becoming a mob out for blood, Lucas ends up stuck between a rock and a hard place. He can't really say or do anything to stop Jason that doesn't also put a target on his back. Sticking with him is the best way to 1) ensure his own physical safety and 2) have any hope of protecting Eddie/his friends.

And then Lucas risks his life to lead Jason & co. off Eddie's scent and bikes eight miles to come warn Dustin that he's in danger. He actually explicitly says that Dustin is in terrible danger. Lucas (and, honestly, all of the Party--except arguably Will) at this point is intimately aware of the fact that a white boy fueled by rage can been homicidally dangerous. So the fact that even after knowing for a fact that Jason has acquired a gun, the whole team send Lucas, Erica and Max to the Creel house without weapons, protection, or any sort of plan as to how to deal with Jason & co. if they turn up is not only baffling, but honestly feels downright callous.

From a purely Watsonian perspective, Lucas has every right and reason to be absolutely livid with his friends. Their consistent inability to recognize or acknowledge the racism Lucas experiences directly results in Lucas and his sister being attacked and nearly killed--and not even by the supernatural bad guy.

¹The show never returns to this, but to me it is broadly illustrative of the racial climate in Hawkins

²Please do not waste your breath trying to argue with me that Billy "wasn't really trying to kill him." I honestly don't care either way. He threatened to kill a 13-year-old boy whose only "crime" was being black. There is no other explanation for Billy's treatment of Lucas that makes sense, since he explicitly targets him, and not Dustin or Mike. Regardless of whether or not Billy had genuine homicidal intent, Lucas had no reason to think otherwise in that moment. I have no interest in arguing this point with anyone.

³Patrick is another excellent example of the show being unable to meaningfully reckon with with its racial implications, but that's its own post.

[mixelation]

Okay I got to the ~controversial~ part that people usually cite when they talk about not liking Minato. Here's a summary + some thoughts

so, obito has run off after leaving minato with an ominous threat ("I shall rule this world..."). minato teleports the kyuubi away from konoha. he also grabs kushina and naruto. it's unclear to me what his plan is at this point-- idk if he just needs kushina or if he's already planning to make naruto the new jinchuriki at this point.

kushina says she will take the nine tails with her "to her death." usually when people cite this they say she means she'll seal it back inside her and then die, but unless the viz translation misses something, she doesn't explicitly say this. (the line before it is "i can still do it" and it's unclear what she means-- she says it as she's restraining the kyuubi though.) note that if she does this, the kyuubi WILL eventually reappear

i wanted to include the panels for minato's facial expressions. he looks extremely upset by the idea of kushina sacrificing herself, even crying. then we see an abrupt shift to a less emotional expression as he explains his plan to her

his plan i think is what turns people off, because it's sort of..... very weird how he frames it?

basically, he says instead of kushina dying, he can seal the last of her chakra into naruto so she can see naruto grown up. note he's not just making this up out of nowhere-- she just said not being able to see this is her biggest regret. he also says that by using the reaper death seal, he can permanently seal away half the kyuubi, and that by making naruto the new jinchuriki, he'll preserve he "balance of bijuu." he also says some things about jiraiya's prophecy about a chosen one and believing in naruto, and also he's concerned about the masked man "bringing catastrophe" to the world.

kushina, of course, yells at him because she'd rather die with her regret and have naruto grow up with a father. this is minato's answer:

there's a bunch of things about this i don't like either. first, i don't like how it's framed. i don't mind the facial expression shift-- i don't mind minato being able to school his emotions in order to Get The Job Done. but i don't like how kushina is kneeling while minato stands and literally talks down to her. it might be a translation thing affecting teh tone, but i haaaate the way he tells her she should understand as someone who's lost her country. he does eventually kneel, to be eye level with her, but i wish he'd done it before giving her this speech.

i also mostly just don't understand his reasoning as stated LMAO. i think part of it was kishimoto had to write something that matched up with previously established details (some of which he wrotet ages ago and maybe hadn't fully planned out yet), while also making minato seem cool. part of it might be that the viz translation seems pretty clunky? although i remember whatever fan translation i read years ago ALSO not making sense. so here's my best faith interpretation of kushina vs minato's plans.

Kushina's plan: She dies and temporarily kills the Kyuubi.

PROS: Kushina is going to die anyway, so she might as well take out the raging chakra monster when she does it. Minato lives and can raise Naruto.

CONS: Does not address Obito's threat. Konoha loses the Kyuubi as a tool/weapon. It's unclear what the ramifications of the Kyuubi re-emerging eventually will be-- could end with Konoha just being attacked again.

Minato's plan: He sacrifices himself to the Reaper Death Seal, permanently sealing away half the Kyuubi. He puts the other half of the Kyuubi and the rest of Kushina's chakra in Naruto.

PROS: Konoha keeps control of the Kyuubi (keeps it as a weapon, prevents potential disaster when it reappears, gives Naruto a tool/weapon to use against Obito when he reappears). Kushina gets to see grown up Naruto. I do not know what he means by Kushina teaching Naruto a lesson only a mom can, but maybe he means only Kushina can help him with Kyuubi stuff?

CONS: Naruto is now an orphan. Konoha loses their leader.

OTHER TALKING POINT: Minato seems genuinely convinced Obito is a world-ruining force. IDK how, but he is right.

ANOTHER NOTE: Minato says the "full" Kyuubi can't be sealed away. I don't really know what this means because clearly Mito accomplished this, and somehow it got in Kushina (and Kushina seem confident se can temporarily kill the Kyuubi). Maybe he means under the current conditions he can't do it, like maybe baby Naruto can't hold the full Kyuubi or Minato can't do the sealing jutsu for some reason (time, chakra, skill, etc). The Reaper Death Seal was def needed to seal half the Kyuubi away forever, but it's unclear if he needed it to put the Kyuubi in Naruto at all. I think tis last part pisses some people off, because you can read this like Minato maybe had the option to put the full Kyuubi in Naruto and not use the reaper death seal at all. However that reading doesn't make a lick of sense, so I don't think that's what's going on.

YET ANOTHER POINT: This is headcanon-y, but the Kumo ambassador that kidnapped Hinata when she was three was there as part of peace treat negotiations at the end of an unspecified war. I've chosen to interpret this as the end of the Third Shinobi War. This means that the village is actively at war, which would probably contribute to Minato's reasoning for why keeping the Kyuubi is so important. The one-shot manga showed jinchuriki as powerful weapons of war; loosing theirs would be a huge detriment to Konoha. I think what he means when he starts talking about duty to a village/nation is basically: I need to keep Konoha strong as my duty both as a shinobi and as a father, so Naruto has a safe place to grow up.

AND FINALLY: I think "Kushina gets to see Naruto" is a bonus of Minato's plan, not like... the basis for his decision-making, like some people claim.

Even if his logic makes very little sense and I had to squint real hard to squeeze a coherent argument out of it, it is pretty clear Minato thinks this is the best outcome for Naruto. I know it sounds bizarre when Kushina's plan is "Naruto has a dad." However-- and again, this is best faith reasoning, but also the only way I think his argument makes sense-- Naruto needs an overall stable/safe village to grow up in. Minato has fought in war; I think this would affect his reasoning. He doesn't want Naruto to grow up like that.

Also, Kushina agrees with him and starts bantering as they both die impaled on the Kyuubi's claw, which is cute.

Also apparently these rando ninja think they saved a random baby. This is why no one knows Naruto's parents.... they're dumb........

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

Apparently this is “undeniable” proof that Kataang wasn’t always gonna be endgame. I don’t get it TBH. But what do you think?

https://araeph.tumblr.com/post/151770892635/irrefutable-proof-that-kataang-was-not-always/embed

"Aang's attachment to Katara was selfish because it was based on feeling entitled to a relationship with somoene that didn't love him back"

Bullshit. Pure bullshit. The vision that makes him give up on trying to let go of his attachment to her was her being captured and imprisoned. He literally screams "Katara is in danger!"

He loved her and wanted to be with her, yes, but his main concern was "What if I prioritize something else over and end up losing her like I lost my people?" because remember, we are explicitly shown in that very episode that his love for the other air-nomads, his previous family, is living on through his love for Katara, who is part of his current family - and yes, the girl he'd eventually marry and have kids with once they were older.

But Aang cannot afford to focus on making sure only one person is doing okay. That's why, in Ba Sing Se, when he sees everyone, including Katara, fighting against all the Dai Li, he does the right thing and trusts that, if he does his duty to end the war, everyone will be safe and sound - including Katara.

His romantic feelings for her make it HARDER to let go of her, but his attachment is not based SOLELY on it.

And for fucks sake people, Katara canonically started looking at him differently all the way back in season 1, during the fortuneteller episode and flirted with him the following episode. She clearly liked kissing him in Cave Of Two Lovers, and she was visibly upset when Aang was acting cold and distant towards her after Appa's kidnapping. She likes him back. Deal with it.

"Aang being able to get into the Avatar State after hitting that rock makes no sense because it was as spiritual issue, not a physical one. He should have fixed it by letting go of Katara"

Aang let go of Katara in Ba Sing Se. We literally see it happening. Aang's chakra was blocked because he was struck by Azula's lightning on that very moment. A physical trauma, that visibly left a PERMANENT mark on his body. That boy literally died and had to be brought back to life.

Through the show, we see things like Ty Lee using pressure points to block people's bending (and movement in general), Toph offering to help Aang relax in Nightmares and Daydreams through accupuncture, and Toph also becoming a incredibly poweful bender because the suppression of one of her five senses hightened the others.

In the Avatar world, a physical thing can canonically block or trigger someone's ability to do something. Aang's chakra being unblocked after something hit the spot that left a physical trauma on his body makes total sense.

On Zuko's fever dreams supposedly revealing his true self and making him more empathetic

Uncle Iroh tells us that Zuko will be his true self once he recovers. The following episode Zuko SEEMS happy and is acting much kinder towards his uncle.

But he ditched it all the very second a chance to be a prince again was given to him by Azula. He double-down on his selfishness, entitlement, arrogance and cruelty. He betrayed a man that was more like a father to him than Ozai ever was, even though he did genuinely love Iroh.

And once Zuko actually changes sides for good and is GENUINELY being kinder and more honorable he acts NOTHING like that overly-happy, super optimistic boy we saw in Ba Sing Se - because that was NOT Zuko's true self, it was him trying to please the one person he still had in his life. Trying to be like him because no other path seemed possible. And even though he convinced himself he was happy, he had already said he wanted more than just a well-paying job that allowed him to live a quiet life in a nice place. He wanted to go home, he wanted to be Fire Lord, and that's exactly what his ending was.

Either the writers wrote themselves into a corner for the sake making Zuko's betrayal towards his uncle all the more shocking, or it was one of the rare moments of the show subtly reminding us that Uncle Iroh is NOT perfect and can make mistakes despite being a wise man.

[verosikastrikerstellaexcuser]

You know what the most pathetic thing the Stolas stans keep parroting is? That Stolas is just such a poor unsocialized rich prince, who just does not know how to talk to people, when that is 100 % a skill that you have to practice. I mean, look at Stella, who is arguably in a very similar situation to him, but even in the pilot had a little get-together with friends and in the show throws actual parties. She talks and gossips with people and is a very sociable person. Good for her! On the other hand, you have Stolas who gets drunk at now two different parties in the show and has no friends that we know of. At both of those parties, he could have talked to people, but that is not what happened. He could also throw his own parties. Or he could literally try to talk to people on the internet, who share his interests, but he doesn't even do that - as far as we know. In the same way, Stolas is pretty pathetic that he wants these big romantic gestures performed to him, but apparently doesn't understand that he has to put the work in to make a relationship even work to get to something like this. I am someone with autism who had to literally drag myself through social situation and learn all of those little things far later in life than others, and I absolutely loath how Stolas gets babied for not even trying to learn basic conversation skills or having any basic connection to literally anybody.

You're so right anon, like, even if he is unsocialized since they've retconned him to be a powerless naive little baby in S2, that still doesn't excuse shit like fetishizing someone and doing in front of a load of other people and embarrassing them. Genuinely just, what on Earth, how do people excuse that? Even if he didn't realize the harm he was doing, he was still doing harm! Blitz repeatedly said stop and he didn't listen (this is the harvest festival I'm talking about where Stolas fucking went "that sexy imp there" on stage in front of everyone and kept using pet names etc). Crossing someone's boundaries and ignoring them saying they don't consent... IS STILL DOING JUST THAT. Idc if you're a shut in, people don't have to just tolerate that! No one is owed friendship, friendships are mutual bonds you build with others, not pity donations.

And yes, 100%, St*las is pathetic in how he obsesses over 1 guy. He obsesses constantly over Blitz despite Blitz immediately not bothering to come on each full moon as soon as hes given the okay and being so unresponsive via text. I get not being good at reading social cues, but when you add in the deal... come on. Stolas should be able to put together that Blitz would be even more distant if only he could be. Stolas is surely mature enough to self reflect that Blitz is tethered. And to be fair, he did do that! So he did know. Its just a shame his apology didn't explicitly note who started it, and didn't apologize for forcing Blitz to interact with him. Instead it had all these vague passive statements like "and to not know how they feel" as if Blitz didn't constantly communicate active disgust all through S1. A kind of "Oh but you COULD have totally loved it really I didn't know!" It feels so sketchy.

St*las is his own worst enemy in that he constantly chases a guy who responds with "ugh, get away from me". If someone does that and constantly responds with "ugh" at you, OBVIOUSLY the healthier thing for both parties involved is for you to move on and to try meet anybody else. We've never once seen St*las attempt that though. And yeah, it is just pathetic. You can't cry and bitch and moan about loneliness if you've only taken steps that will ensure it and not done anything actually helpful to cure it, i.e making friends. Moxxie and Millie were right there... but he didn't try to get to known a single other member of IMP. Blitz doesn't even have a single thing in common with St*las, why doesn't that damn owl try to join a gardening club instead, meet people with any kind of similar interests? Like ffs. You're right about St*las wanting romantic gestures and such yet he won't put the work in to just get to know someone first. If you want a bouquet, you gotta try a "hello" and then a few "oh hey its you again nice to see you"s first. On someone OTHER than a guy who can't stand you.

And. Tbh part of me is scared to even go here. But, yk. It is discussed in the autism community, how men with autism get passes for things women with autism don't (since we're on the topic of not being able to read social cues etc). Some of the Stolas stuff honestly gives me that vibe. I wish so much that I could peer into an alternate reality where he was a woman instead of a cute soft lil gay bean man. I guarantee people would be quicker to call out his wrongs, tbh. Though they may take his abuse of Blitz less seriously, but I seriously do feel like his social behaviors and not knowing how to behave socially, not being caring in the right way, being a bad parent, all of that would have people madder and making less excuses.

[kazumiwrites-fanfiction]

Everybody Wanna Take Her Heart Away

REQUEST: Hi hiii~ First off, a happy birthday to you! 🥳🎂 Wishing lots of happiness in life 💖 I've read some of your works and I really like your writing style! I saw your Mostro Lounge event and it took me a while to decide (because there's so many options that are sooo good; I'm indecisive haha) but I finally chose one! So I'm wondering if I could request F!Reader x Azul with the song "Steal My Girl" from the Azul to You playlist you made? I was thinking about a scenario where someone keeps pestering F!Reader to go out on a date with them (even if she already said no) and then Azul saves the day! Swooping in, holding you close by the waist, declaring "find another 'cause she belongs to me" (you get the reference 👀 haha) But I understand you already have a general idea for each so no worries~ Also, I'm sorry if this was long hahaha Again, happy birthday! Sending you cakes!! 🎂🎂🎂 Thank youuuu! ✨❤️ - @escha-evenstar

SUMMARY: Azul doesn't like how other people flirt with you. WORD COUNT: ~600

WARNINGS: Ace flirting(??) with you and making you uncomfortable, Ace does not get any hints, Azul is protective and a bit too jealous maybe?? Azul also maybe be a bit ooc. A/N: Okay so I'm not really comfortable with writing an explicitly female reader (it gives me gender dysphoria) so I did make this more neutral - however, I did try to make it as fem as I could, but I'm sorry if it's not specifically what you wanted! I love how I started writing this a month after your request, life's been hectic and I keep making rp blogs (to procrastinate on my homework). Someone needs to stop me. (I also started playing JP Twisted Wonderland too... I have a problem). I'm so sorry this is so late!! Thanks for the happy birthday wishes, I can't even believe I'm a year older now... Wow. For this event.

© kazumiwrites - All rights reserved; please do not steal, edit, copy, repost (etc) my work without my express permission.

Azul didn't like this.

There you were, sitting all pretty and gorgeous. And he didn't mind that - he loved seeing you.

The problem in question was with Ace.

The first year had been coming up to you what seemed like every day, asking you to go on a date.

And sure, Azul knew that you wouldn't agree - you weren't the type of person to do something like that - but that didn't mean that he wasn't jealous.

He knew that he didn't make your relationship that public. Sometimes holding hands, walking you to class… That was mostly it. Most of the Octavinelle students, as well as some of the second years, knew, but other than that? Hardly anyone.

And anyways, he didn't want you to get more attention than was necessary.

Maybe Ace didn't know, and that was why he was doing this… But surely Grim had told him. Unless Grim had a problem with him too…

He gritted his teeth as Ace sidled up to you again, a casual arm slipping around your shoulders. Though, a small smile crossed his lips as he saw you shake his arm off.

"C'mon, kantokusei. One date?" Ace nudged you gently, a grin on his face. "C'mon, I know you like me~"

Azul sighed softly, feeling a small pang in his chest. Perhaps Ace wasn't entirely wrong, and that was why you hadn't given him a hard no? Yes, he saw you push Ace away multiple times, tell him to stop… But obviously it hadn't been harsh enough to drive off Ace.

Still, a nagging feeling in him told him that perhaps you weren't able to be assertive enough to get Ace to listen. Maybe he should jump in…

Over the past couple of weeks, you had gradually grown uncomfortable around Ace. You viewed him as a friend - just that, nothing more and nothing less.

But he seemed to view you as something more. And that definitely made you feel less than friendly toward the first year.

Even as he tried to touch your arm again, you whacked his hand away. "Stop it, Ace."

"But-"

The orange-haired male was cut off as Azul walked up to the two of you, a casual arm wrapping around your waist as he pulled you closer to him.

"What seems to be the matter?" Azul's voice, though polite, had a bit of an edge to it. His eyes were slightly narrowed, annoyance flashing in his gaze.

"Hey, I was just being friendly toward kantokusei, and teasing them a little bit-"

"That is definitely not the case, and both of us know it. Find another person because kantokusei-san belongs to me."

Azul's voice was cold - it was pretty clear that he was at his limit.

Ace seemed to back off after that, turning and walking away. You breathed a sigh of relief before you looked at Azul.

"Thank you for that," you said softly, moving to hug him tightly.

"Of course. It's my duty as your boyfriend." Azul was glad that you were happy - it seemed he had made the right call. He would have to make sure Jade and Floyd kept a closer eye on Ace… There was no telling how he could start harassing you again.

Still, as he held you close to him, he felt himself relax. Everything was fine - you were content, you were safe, and most of all? You were his.

As always, reblogs and comments are always appreciated! ♡ Send your thoughts grr

This post has details for requesting. Please check it out!

[carnelianwings]

I keep seeing Bad Kira Yamato Takes on Twitter and I keep asking myself why do I bother with the For You page except I’ve got it mostly trained to show me fan art of my favorite ships and such so I guess that’s the trade off.

Anyway, just venting because I happen to think Kira, for all the accusations the haters like to throw at him, is a very reasonable and human Gundam Protagonist. Also unlike Amuro Ray he never actually runs away from fighting … until Seed Freedom (but that’s more like “there’s multiple people to pick up where he left off and there’s plenty of reasons why he should just retire”).

I really don’t get the hate towards Kira in Seed. There is nothing he does that any previous Gundam protagonist hasn’t done. Survive improbable situations thanks to the power of Plot Armor? Heero Yuy’s done that at least three between Wing and Endless Waltz - the most egregious one in Wing when he self destructed his Gundam while standing on the cockpit hatch. I mean sure there was also the time he set his own broken leg but that’s also besides the point. Improbable speed at learning to pilot a Gundam? Amuro Ray did that and that was the original.

At the same time, people like to say Kira didn’t suffer and just coasted through Seed. As though he didn’t have to helpless watch as Tolle dies, nearly kills a childhood best friend over it, gets PTSD just from fighting a war, and then more PTSD from dealing with Durandal, and also general trauma of being in an abusive relationship with Flay (that has repercussions into his relationship with Lacus well into Seed Freedom). Kira might not have started Seed traumatized the way both Athrun (Junius Seven/Bloody Valentine) and Shinn (First Battle of Orb) were, but he still had personal trauma nonetheless. And even though it’s not explicitly shown on screen, I wouldn’t be surprised if Kira feels guilty about what happened to Shinn even if Kira himself wasn’t directly at fault for it.

And to say that Kira’s goal isn’t the same as Lacus’s (world peace) along with basically with everyone else he’s teamed up with is just terrible comprehension because everyone involved with Cagalli (and Athrun, by extension) and COMPASS wants world peace and the wars to just stop.

Honestly, I think the best damned thing that happened to Kira ever since he got drop kicked into the cockpit by Murrue (not her fault, it was either that or let the civilian kid die and she wasn’t about to do that either) is being able to just fuck off and fly to Akatsuki Island at the end of Seed Freedom and have victory sex on the beach with Lacus, because he really hasn’t had time to do what he wants for himself since then. Because every time there’s a chance of it happening, he was either getting manipulated by Flay, working (as a programmer), or recovering from trauma. Like he’s been at this for 4 years with hardly a break because (by Seed Freedom) he feels like he has to, both as the Ultimate Coordinator (as in, he has the ability to so he must), and as part of what he said to Durandal at the end of the Battle of Messiah. And because he is so busy and being part of COMPASS has actually meant he and Lacus spend more time apart, he can’t really lean on her the way he used to during the First and Second Earth Alliance-PLANT wars.

Really if I were being honest I’d actually say the only reason Kira’s been “okay” during both Seed and Seed Destiny is because Lacus has been there to be something of a therapist for him (especially during Seed Destiny with how he very obviously has PTSD from the first war). But the reason Lacus is willing to do this for him is because she’s got shades of philosopher-therapist to begin with, and she knows he’s actually very kind and caring underneath it all and isn’t a soldier at all, and doesn’t belong on the battlefield (from how he treated her during her time as a prisoner on the Archangel early on before he got really traumatized by the war).

And also Kira’s a crybaby? Okay so crying because a friend died is a bad thing? Crying because you’re suddenly thrown into a war you never wanted to be a part of and having to kill people because it’s kill or be killed even though you don’t want to kill anyone is a bad thing? Crying because you’re scared but you have to go out and fight anyway because if you don’t, you, your friends, a whole bunch of civilians, and other people (even if they’re military and they signed up for this, but some of them have been really nice and tried to be caring given the situation and aren’t actually bad people at all) will die is a bad thing? To me those are just reasonable, human responses to the situation he’s suddenly thrust in. Like yeah sure the Strike is a cool robot and all that, but to quote Athrun, it’s not like Kira can just “go fight a war with a smile” you know?

[phoenixeclipse-lmkau]

Mother-Mother Spring

Sequel to Mother-Mother River. Sun Wukong and Macaque try to hide the fact that they gave Phoenix the water knowingly while stopping her from drinking the spring water. (I don’t remember what the spring was called)

Sun Wukong wasn’t one to think about the consequences of his actions before he simply acted. He acted off of instinct and was extremely impulsive. Even though he didn’t think before he acted he almost never regretted the choices that he made. They were his choices so obviously they had been the right choices to make.

However, as he stared at Phoenix the woman who had claimed both his and his mate’s hearts was sitting on the ground with tears in her eyes he couldn’t help but feel… regret. She looked devastated, terrified and heartbroken. She didn’t know that they had done this on purpose, it’s not like she was blaming them.

So why? Why did his heart hurt watch the result of his actions.

Phoenix loved cubs; she had been very clear about that so many times. She was a natural when handling the monkey cubs that would jump onto her whenever she visited the island. She was going to be a wonderful mother for their cubs, but why? Why did she look so devastated over that.

“Phoenix? Are you okay?” Macaque was the one to speak up, he was lightly biting his lip, he knew that she wasn’t but he didn’t know what else to say.

“… I- I don’t know,” She muttered holding back her tears.

“Dear, what’s wrong? A child is a blessing,” The woman next to them spoke.

Wukong hated to admit he agreed with the human, but he did. She was carrying a blessing, a blessing that she shared with the Monkey Kings. Not some mere demon, or human who didn’t deserve her love but The Monkey Kings, who fought against Heaven and almost won. They would have won if not for The Buddha getting involved too.

“Do you not want kids?” She asked, causing both Wukong and Macaque to go rigid.

There was no way she didn’t want cubs, right? She was so good with them, not only that but any time she saw Scarlet with her cubs she would always look at them with longing. She clearly wanted cubs right? But she had never explicitly said that she wanted her own cubs. Wukong gulped, he didn’t want her to try and get rid of his cub. He wouldn’t be able to handle it.

Glancing over at Macaque he could see the same expression on his face. He was also scared of what her choice would be. They would have to take drastic measures if she tried to get rid of the cub. They couldn’t let that happen, already their instincts were trying to get them to take her back to their home. Everything was already set up, she would be perfectly comfortable in their nest, with their cubs. They were confident about that, so why? Why was he so tense. She wouldn’t try to get rid of their cub, of course not!

“Of course I want cubs! But I have no idea how much longer I’ll be traveling, and they won’t even have… a father,” Phoenix’s words started off angry before fizzling out into fear. Quickly she shook her head, there were more important things to worry about.

“Never mind that. We need to get the water for Tripitaka and Pigsy!” She wanted to scream and shout about her own problems.

She knew that she needed to vent about what was going on. She was going to have a cub for heaven’s sake! But she couldn’t, her friends needed help first. Phoenix was quick to stand up and think of a plan. They should send Wukong, Macaque and Sandy to the spring. Her shield would protect everyone else, but she knew of the monkeys’ tendency to fly off and not return for weeks.

“Sandy, you, Wukong and Macaque need to get the water. I’ll stay here with Tripitaka and Pigsy,” Phoenix said firmly, her eyes steeling over with determination.

She didn’t have time for self-pity, she needed to help her friends and make sure they didn’t die. She knew what could happen if this continued. So, she did the only thing she could think of, and pushed everything to the side that bothered her while focusing on the other problems around her.

“What? Who’s going to protect you if we’re gone!” Wukong suddenly yelled as he marched up to Phoenix glaring at her.

“I don’t need protection-,” Phoenix started but was rather quickly cut off by the Monkey King in front of her.

“They aren’t the only ones who are in trouble here!” He growled stomping his foot harshly as he began to go slightly red in anger.

Phoenix was already going through several waves of emotions. Everything was crashing together, her fear, sadness, even the slightest bit of joy. However, until this point she hadn’t felt any anger, until Wukong started talking. As he yelled about how she shouldn’t be left alone, annoyance pricked at her head.

“Excuse me! But I can protect myself,” She growled back rather harshly.  

Wukong backed away in surprise. Honestly, he shouldn’t have been surprised at her reacting this way, she never responded pleasantly whenever someone claimed that she was weak. Not that he was calling her weak. He just didn’t want to leave his pregnant darling alone with these pilgrims that he really didn’t like. Especially when they wouldn’t be able to protect her if she needed it.

She was pregnant with HIS cub, he needed her to know that he wasn’t trying to insinuate anything about her being weak. Just as he was about to open his mouth to say that he felt a sharp tug at his foot, directly from his shadow. Immediately he froze before backing off, what was he about to do? She was already pissed off, he wasn’t supposed to make her even more angry. His beloved Moon would be furious if she found out like this. He needed to be smart.

“Flame~ I don’t think that’s what he was trying to say,” Macaque intervened, he walked up behind Phoenix slightly sauntering.

Wukong recognized the look on his face, it was a look that he rarely used. It was one that he knew Phoenix had yet to see, he had calmed his gaze and spoke in a soothing tone. It was the expression that he made any time he wanted something from Wukong and wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

“Oh really? Then what was he trying to say?” She growled back, rolling her eyes in irritation.

Phoenix looked so cute like that. She had a deep scowl on her face, her eyes narrowed and a crinkle in between her eyebrows. Wukong could stare at that expression for hours. If only she wore that mask up on her head more often, instead of hiding her face away from him and Macaque.

“Obviously he was trying to say that he and I could go. We would be far quicker, Sandy would just slow us down,” He explained calmly, his eyes glancing down to his nails nonchalantly.

‘WHAT!?’ Wukong wanted to yell but with a tug from his shadow he decided not to say anything, yet.

Anger filled his chest at the very thought of his Flame drinking that water. He wouldn’t let her kill his cub, THEIR CUB. Just as he was about to speak again he heard how Phoenix responded.

“Do you give me your word you two will be back?” She asked, she sounded much calmer now, much more at ease.

“Of course, you have my word. We have no reason to lie,” Macaque said a slight gleam in his eye as he gave a dramatic bow.

Phoenix let out a sigh of slight annoyance before pinching the bridge of her nose. She looked like she was especially annoyed at his response. He glanced at her and was about to speak, he had no idea what he would say but before he did he noticed her shadow. A light purple pulsed in it once.

Macaque had put something in her shadow, a clone? With a flash of gold in his own vision he concluded that yes, he had put a shadow clone into her shadow. He really intended to go to the damned spring. NO! He would not allow this, his cub would not be put in danger just because his mate wanted to keep their flame happy. He wanted her happy too, but he wasn’t going to do something like that after being so careful to get her pregnant.

“Why wouldn’t you take Sandy? He isn’t slow-,” Macaque cut her off at that statement.

“He will slow us down. Master and the Piglet need the water as soon as possible do they not? Besides having extra protection never hurt anyone,” He said a smile across his face, it was forced.

“Fine. I’ll trust you, get there and get back. Please don’t take any detours,” She nodded still rubbing her forehead.

“Alright. You heard her, time to go,” Macaque was next to Wukong in a second and sent them both into his shadow before the hot-tempered monkey demon could get out a retort.

>>><<< 

“What the hell Macaque! YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS!” Wukong immediately shouted as soon as the shadow closed.

“My darling, please calm down,” Macaque calmly responded, slightly rolling his eyes.

“Calm down? CALM DOWN!? YOU JUST AGREED TO GET RID OF OUR-.” He was cut off as his mate wrapped his arms around his neck and purred into his ear.

“Shh, my love~ I didn’t agree to any such thing. We are getting water from the spring for Master and the Piglet. We don’t NEED to get any more than that, just enough for the two fools that our Flame has grown to care about,” His moon explained pulling away to look in his eyes, slightly downwards to the shorter monkey king.

Sun Wukong’s anger almost immediately fizzled out. Looking up at his mate he calmed down a smile spreading across his face. Of course, his beloved had a real plan. He would never want to harm their cubs. How could he have even thought of such a thing. Immediately he hugged him back.

“Why didn’t you say anything? You had me all worked up over nothing,” Wukong pouted with a frown.

Macaque rolled his eyes again pulling his mate into his chest as they snuggled for a moment. Their tails intertwined as they did so. In all honestly Mac couldn’t care less about his ‘master’ and the piglet, the only reason he even offered to help them was because their Sweet Flame was traveling with them. Even with that reason he would have killed both of them a long time ago if not for the shield that Phoenix wore.

That shield, he hated that thing, despised it for the longest time. Wukong hated it even more than he did if he were being completely honest. That was probably due to Macaque realizing that if it hadn’t been for the shield, they would have surely lost their darling a long time ago.

They hated her at first, they wanted her dead after all and would have killed her with the monk if not for the shield. No, that wasn’t true. They wouldn’t have killed her, they would have killed her. The thought repeated in his head like a broken record for several minutes until he snapped himself out of it. They didn’t kill her, she had a shield to protect her, one that would keep her safe from even them. It was the only reason he approved of the shield and didn’t bother trying to get rid of it.

“So, we’re getting water from the spring then?” Wukong asked, finally getting Macaque out of his own head.

“Yeah,” His tone was annoyed as he combed his claws through his mate’s fur.

There were so many things he would prefer to be doing. He didn’t like this mission and would much rather take their Sweet Flame back to the mountain. But he wouldn’t do that, not yet. He would though, both him and his King would have their darling soon enough. They were over 1000 years old, what was a few months to them?

Once she was a few months pregnant she wouldn’t be able to run. He was sure of that, and they would be able to take her back to Flower Fruit Mountain, back home. They would be able to spoil her however she wished. The finest silks, and fabrics, the freshest fruits and vegetables, they could even gift her with the most gorgeous clothing if she desired. He didn’t really care as long as it kept her with them.

“Let’s get that over with. Then we can spend some time with our sweet Flame~,” He purred at the thought before pulling fully away from his mate getting a displeased grunt in response.

“We can cuddle when we get back. It’ll be nightfall by then, if we play our cards right we could return to a sleepy Flame who is all cuddles~,” Mac insisted, the very thought sent a shiver down Wukong’s spine. It was true that Phoenix was cuddly whenever she was tired but that was only true when she was in a good mood. They needed to get the water so they could calm her down and finish this dumb journey.

Please leave a comment and like if you enjoyed it! It really helps me to write more. Let me know what you think! If you have any suggestions or story requests you can send them my way by comment or send me an ask.

Chapter 3 - Sleep and Snuggles

[shuttershocky]

You know, something funky has just occurred to me.

Fate introduces us to multiple effects that reverse causality or rewrite the flow of time to achieve their desired effect, i.e. Gae Bolg and Fragarach. These effects are rightfully treated as a Big Deal, but that's predominantly due to how dangerous they are in the context of the HGW. They are not, to my knowledge, ever explicitly called out as being phenomena adjacent to True Magic. But when Aoko alters the flow of time to the point of rewriting events retroactively, it's very distinctly Magic.

It's really odd considering that Stay Night and Hollow Ataraxia have the context and vocabulary to talk about Magic, and Mahoyo in its early form did already exist at that point, just not in a form that we could read. So time fuckery surely must have already been established as Magic at least internally. I wonder what the deal is there. Like are we supposed to just accept that of course Noble Phantasms can just casually do things like that by nature of what they are or what

Look, don't think too hard about the hows.

It's the inverse of Fate/Stay Night (and indirectly, Tsukihime) establishing that encapsulating the soul and moving it between bodies without decay is an act of True Magic (it's Heaven's Feel) while Touko's been casually doing it way beforehand and it's not True Magic: don't think too hard about it. Zouken can't live forever without becoming a mass of terrible worms, Roa grows weaker and weaker as he reincarnates in different bodies as a soul parasite, but Touko can just die and revive without issue because she was written before that was well established. In this case, Gae Bolg reversing Cause and Effect is magecraft and not really an act of True Magic even if it sounds like it should, because Nasu was working on an entirely different train of thought by then: Gae Bolg's unavoidable kill success by reversing cause and effect is reliant on the enemy's Luck stat, whatever the hell that actually means (it's only seen on servants and inside Fate).

It should also be said that Aoko's 5th Magic isn't messing with time itself, but the method by which she does it. In Mahoyo, Touko takes the chance to analyze Aoko displaying the 5th Magic and reasons that the 5th Magic could not be Time, as time manipulation could be achieved with the 2nd as well. Since Nasu stated that Goetia's plan was a hint at the 5th Magic's true nature, we can guess that what was actually True Magic is Aoko able to emit energy powerful enough to burn through the fabric of time and manipulate it herself, as that was exactly what Goetia tried to do by incinerating panhuman history.

______

While we're here, do you know what else was established as a hard rule in Mahoyo? Death's permanence. While there are those who cheat death by moving bodies, once someone dies in a permanent way, they're fucking dead and not even True Magic can truly fix it. Aoko uses clever manipulation to get around that problem so it doesn't actually matter, but she can't erase death itself even with her power, only nullify it by messing with time so that it's not a problem for today.

The concept of Servants isn't truly defying death either. A servant is not /the/ soul of the individual who died, but a copy from the soul inside the throne of heroes then generated into the world. The holy grail can't bring back the dead, only allow a shadow (still a person, still them yet not them!) to continue on.

But someone does cheat that. Akiha can keep Shiki alive even as Shiki is so close to dead that the Root's power is manifesting in his eyes without the origin of emptiness that the other Shiki has, and we still don't know exactly how after 23 years of Tsukihime. No other oni has displayed such power, and we've never seen magecraft that allowed someone to develop the true Mystic Eyes of Death Perception, not even Roa (though he thinks he did).

The "how the hell is she keeping someone on the literal border between life and death alive for years" and the implications it has on Type-Moon lore isn't important to Tsukihime, what IS important is how that is just one of the many ways Shiki is trapped inside the Tohno family, and is symbolic of Akiha's own relationship to the Tohno family.

It's about how Akiha upholds the Tohno's name and societal status, but bears their sins and despises them and herself for it. She uses her very life to keep Shiki alive and gaslights him into believing he's her brother, while she murders her actual flesh and blood brother without a care, because that's what it means to bear the cursed name of the Tohno and the sins of her family.

When it comes to Type-Moon lore, you shouldn't think too hard about the hows, because more often than not Nasu's writing to answer the whys instead.

[bonefall]

Is Crowfeather's parenting and abuse of Breeze going to be any different and/or handled differently by other cats in BB? Thinking about his honor title being for Feathertail and... ugh this poor woman having to watch a cat who named himself for his love for her be so horrible to his own kin after she's torn from hers so soon. She should get to come down and knock some sense into him, if that's even possible

I haven't been able to get into BB!Feathertail yet, but she's fascinating honestly. I like the vibe that Feather x Crow is like this cosmically doomed ship, destined to torpedo itself time and time again for various reasons, and that's the foundation of them in BB.

They were NEVER going to work. Crowfoot has a ton of issues he's working through. Feathertail values herself too much to allow him to mistreat her in the meanwhile. If Feathertail never died, the breakup would have been good for him. He REALLY needed it, actually. Calm, funny, easygoing Feathertail just laying their problems on the table, why she doesn't want a relationship, but still spinning it in that way-of-hers that softens a hard blow.

It wouldn't have fixed him overnight, of course. It just would have been a spark. Paws on a better, happier path. Not a lover in another Clan, but a friend, if he took her words to heart.

But she's dead. She died horribly. And her memory is this perfect fantasy for the magical, flawless love they could have had, an impossible standard Crowfeather viciously holds all of his future lovers to. So as a spirit guide, with all her eloquence, she'd say to him, "That's not very cash money of you."

But anyway, on Breeze's abuse.

For one, I absolutely would want to make sure to stress Breeze's good qualities sooner and harder, and explicitly make them friends at certain points.

The Tribe Journey in particular, where there's a lot of opportunities to get him away from Crowfeather. By the end of it, I would want to include a poignant moment where they have one final nice moment together, before Crowfeather barks for him, and it's gone.

(and, also, add a couple of cats who help The Three discuss their complicated emotions towards seeing their bully being abused.)

I would also actually remove the way that the cats of WindClan "look to" Crowfeather on how Breezepelt should be treated, particularly from Crowfeather's Trial. I feel it misses the point and ends up saying that Breezepelt could NEVER get the social approval he craves unless his abusive dad CHOSE to stop mistreating him.

Like!! FUCK no!!! You do NOT need the approval of a guy who NEVER would have given it without 3 different women and Onestar screaming it into his ear!

Instead, I'd stress how the Clan was beginning to turn on him as soon as his problems escalated into active reckless endangerment. His abuse was causing his social alienation by making his behavior worse and worse.

That seems like a minor change, but it's one of my bigger complaints. ALL of WindClan shouldn't be looking to an abusive parent to model how they'll react to his son. PLEASE let the cats have their own unique social opinions.

One of Breezepelt's adult defenders is Brushblaze. I will be picking more-- but there's always going to be some cats in his corner besides Nightcloud and Heathertail (and Harestar of course who is poly with Heather and Breeze in BB.)

(though Pro-Breeze cats are in the minority unfortunately.)

MOST of the Dark Forest trainees from WindClan were personal friends of Breezepelt. Harespring, Sunstrike, Furzepelt, and Antpelt all came into the training because of him.

All that said, not much else is different about the setup of Breezepelt's childhood abuse! It's a part of canon I think is good and I would like to stay relatively faithful to it.

His arc also continues into BB!AVoS. Continued distrust of him after fighting for the Dark Forest, misplacing his anger onto Harespring when he manages to take deputyship, and Dishonor Titles from Onestar end up causing him and his friends to feel so rejected that they join The Kin.

Its message, that they are "The Kin that the Clans abandoned" appeals to over a dozen cats from other Clans who are shunned for various reasons. HalfClan cats, codebreakers, and Dark Forest trainees alike all come together, because BB!The Kin is mostly comprised of Clan cats, particularly ones from SkyClan, NOT rogues.

There's about 6 or so non-Clanborn cats in The Kin; Rain, Raven, Flame, Dragonfly, Roach, Nettle. If I end up keeping Silt, Thistle, or any of the 7-10 unnamed cats, they'll get shuffled to be Clanborn.

(Max, Loki, and Zelda are cut. Many of Zelda's roles are being absorbed by Dragonfly, who is remaining with Violetshine after The Kin disbands)