#I shall find a way to do so regardless :P

[phoenixiancrystallist]

Month 4, day 5

I've been a busy girl today :3

Did the dishes

Animated the glitter material from the other day

Made a ground beef material

Started the next CG Fast Track tutorial series, which is modeling out this bitchin' helmet

I feel accomplished :D

[bardoftheshire]

Gundham Tanaka dating headcannons

Notes; I'm writing this when I have 6 other drafts of other fics goin' on, let's completely discard that, though. The reader's ultimate is the ultimate artist, and this isn't a killing game type thing, just the island life type deal. This is also like, a headcannon/oneshot kinda deal I think.

Extra notes; This is a friends to lovers deal, slow burn style😘 (also, fem reader, sorry :(

Warnings; Foul language (though I don't think there'll be a lot)

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-Just like he was with everyone else when meeting them, you should expect him to be a little "weird" at first. Regardless of that, you continue to talk to him, you found him interesting, almost like there was some sort of "aura" that pulled you in.

-And when he shows his Devas, you go absolutely feral. Well.. maybe not feral, but definitely a mix of happy, and surprised, exactly how most of the other characters reacted, but either more than that or less, depending on you of course.

~ "Do you have anything that kinda, I don't know, like, 'helps you' in using your ultimate? Books and stuff I guess?" You ask, putting your sketchbook back into your messenger bag.

"Kehehe, that would be useless! Behold! The four dark devas of destruction! Fuahahahaha!" Gundham says as his devas pop out from his scarf.

"Oh my gosh they're hamsters! They're so cute! Do they have names?"

"Cute? How dare you! And hamsters are only their temporary forms! This is Maga-z, San-D, Chum-P, and Jum-P! Keep your distance, for they are dangerous to mere mortals." Gundham says dramatically.

"Well, I guess it's a good thing that I'm not just some "mere mortal" huh? Oh, wait hold on. I think I have something in my bag." You say as you search through your bag. Finally fishing out a pack of sunflower seeds, you place a few in your hand. "There! Do you want these for them? I'll be honest I don't really think I'll end up eating these. You could have them as it'll definitely go to much better use." You motion for him to open his hand, then putting the loose sunflower seeds into his palm.

"T-thank you.."

-After that interaction I feel like you wouldn't leave him alone. Clingy, yes. But to have the opportunity to sketch his "Dark devas of destruction" as he said, you'd do anything.

-Creepily enough, being the ultimate artist, you'd probably try to seek him out due to him always having the devas.

-Yes, yes. It's not exactly a good thing to do, but you were so desperate. But maybe if you just asked him, it might've been a little easier.

-So that's exactly what you did.

~ You took out your e-book and flipped through the different areas, finally finding Gundham's little character pinned at the front of the hotel entrance.

You make your way there and spot him, finding him with his devas in his hands as he looks at them.

"Hey, Gundham." You say softly as to not startle him.

Gundham looks up from his devas to turn his head in your direction.

"Ah, Y/n!" Gundham says, putting the devas on his shoulder.

"Hey, I was wondering, and of course if you don't want to it's fine, but do you think I could sketch your devas? I'll give the drawings to you, I just.. need something else to draw other than the scenery of this place. It's all the exact same, there's no difference in my art no matter what and it's making me go insane!" You clear your throat and apologize for the change in volume.

"You want to draw my Dark Devas of Destruction? Do you think you'll have the power to be in such close proximity with them, mere mortal?" Gundham says dramatically.

"I believe I do, Gundham. And if I don't, then you shall watch me perish."

You had began talking to him in the same eccentric way he does. Thinking maybe he might understand more? Or maybe even go from calling you just a 'mere mortal' to something less.. hurtful?

"Hmm, I see. Very well then. And where do you wish to do this?"

-You just spend most of your free time with him and his Devas sitting in your room together. Maybe you have a little pile of sunflower or pumpkin seeds in a small bowl to keep them from going hungry.

-He's like, looking at you in this absolute awe at you wanting to draw *HIS* dark devas.

-He's a little anxious at what "dark magic" you might be putting on them when sketching them, almost like a voodoo doll.

-Is relieved when you hand the sketches to him and tell him to keep them.

-He probably hangs them up somewhere in his room. Kinda like how a proud parent would with a kids drawing on their fridge.

-You try to gather small picnics or even just hangouts with him, and while it definitely takes a while for him to finally let you, you start drawing him, too.

-It could just be some quick sketches you do while he's telling one of his stories about some great overlord he defeated or another one of his great tales without him knowing, or with him posing knowingly.

-He's just.. so much fun to draw.

-"...the thing was foolish to believe it could defeat me; Gundham Tanaka! Fuahahaha!" Gundham says dramatically.

Gundham and you were sitting in his cottage just hanging out as he told you one of his many entertaining tales.

He sat on his rocking chair, holding Maga-z in his hands as he fed him an assortment of seeds carefully, a soft smile on his face.

When he was telling these stories he was typically so into them that he wouldn't pay any attention to anything else, with the exception of any of the Devas he might have with him too, of course. So it was very easy to draw him without him knowing.

The nice thing about him not knowing was that he looked a lot less anxious, a lot more natural, and didn't have the same serious look that painted his face every time you asked him to pose for you. Right now he looked so happy.

"What are you doing?"

You look up from your sketchpad at Gundham who had now gotten up from his chair, crossing his arms with Maga-z now on his shoulder.

"Aw, you moved.." You say with a pout on your face. "I was drawing you, until you moved. I think I could still finish it, though." You sigh.

"Hmm.."

You could see a pink blush dust his pale, grey complexion. More obvious then he might think.

-You obviously show him all of the drawings you did of him and the devas in your sketchbook.

-He absolutely adores when you do this, it makes him feel special and.. warm..?

-You'll show him some of the other stuff you have in your book, too.

-Some of it is scenery. Maybe flowers or some random stuff you find on the island, but most of it is other people on the island.

-When I say most of it is other people, I mean like, literally only 4 others. Your drawings of Gundham and the devas take up most of it.

-Not gonna lie, he got a little upset when he saw a sketch of Kazuichi working on something on one of the pages.

-I dunno, they like, got a small mutual dislike for eachother. Unnecessary beef.

-He didn't say anything about it, but you could tell he was *very* obviously grumpy the rest of the day.

-Maybe particularly snappy with Kazuichi when he came across him, too?

-He has absolutely no clue why either. Brushes it off as Kazuichi just being an annoying individual.

-He's just a little right about that in general, but that's to be left unsaid. Also, emphasis on "little bit".

-At this point, the both of you are practically with each other constantly. You'll eat lunch together sometimes, walk around the islands together, and obviously just hang out inside of each other's rooms, just enjoying each other's company.

-Maybe if you're lucky or if you try hard enough, you'll get him to hang out with you and others.

-Maybe at one of the beaches, another one of the parties/gatherings, or even the amusement park!

-Though he'll be a big baby about the coaster, no matter how much he says "It's nothing compared to the many brawls I've had", so please hold his hand..

-"Aww yeah! I'm getting pumped up now! C'mon, c'mon, get on faster guys!" Akane says excitedly.

Everyone had gone to the 3rd island to go to the amusement park, and then after we could go to the beach. All Sonia's idea, and of course Kazuichi couldn't say no, then neither could Nagito, then Mahiru, then Himiko, and the rest of it was all just a domino effect. Though, a good amount of it was because of Byakuya being bossy and demanding that everyone else be part of it.

And there everyone was. Nothing else in the park was any good other than the roller coaster, so that was the first thing everyone went to. We'd probably only go on a few rides until a few people began to get sick.

"NO WAY! I'M NOT GOING ON THAT THING, I'M STAYING HERE!" Kazuichi screams.

Man, you'd think for a guy that presents himself as such a "manly" guy, he would at least be good to go on amusement rides.. how.. sad..?

"Quit being a big baby! Get on the damn thing already. It's not like it's going to kill you." You tell Kazuichi.

"Yeah! Your holding everything up, you're a man, by the way, remember? You're supposed to be able to handle these things, you know?"

"NO WAY, MAN!"

You pinch the bridge of your nose and rub your face.

Some shouts and pleas from Kazuichi and laughs from Nekomaru grab your interest and you look up, only to see Kazuichi being picked up and forced onto the ride by Nekomaru.

You laugh to yourself at the scene as other people do the same.

Others had begun to take up some of the carts, Nekomaru standing aside, waiting. Assumingly because of his stature, that he didn't want to block or cause any problems for anyone who would be behind him.

You look up to your right at Gundham, who seemed more pale than usual (which was surprisingly possible), a look of worry or possible fear apparent on his face.

"Hey, are you okay, Gundham?" You ask, placing a hand on his arm.

He flinches slightly at your touch. "Ha! What makes you think I am not?" Gundham replies, his voice shaking ever so slightly.

"I don't know, you look a little pale. Are you scared to go on?"

"I think he's always that pale, Y/n.." Mahiru says.

Gundham pauses for a second.

"Fuahahahaha! I am Gundham Tanaka! To think I fear anything makes you a fool. This mere machine is nothing compared to the many hounds and demons I have fought and defeated."

You look at him and let go of his arm, turning away to walk into one of the carts.

"Alright then, come on in if you're so tough." You pat the seat next to yours.

"Is that a challenge?" Gundham asks, getting on and sitting next to you.

Before you could respond, the ride immediately takes off.

It was definitely faster than any of the other rides you'd ever been on, but hell was it fun.

"Yaaaaaaahoooooo!" Akane shouts in joy.

Screams from Kazuichi made it more then obvious that he wasn't having fun.

"I'm gonna die...I'm gonna diiiiiiiiiiie!"

"Tch...! What overwhelming g-force!"

You smile widely and lift your hands up, making it give that thrill that you feel you'd fly out.

"Be still...my heart!"

You look over to Gundham, his face even more pale then when we were originally first getting onto the ride. He was gripping onto the railings as hard as he could and looked like he was going to pass out.

"But.. this is fun!" Sonia exclaims.

You giggle to yourself and pull your arms down, placing one of them on top of Gundham's hand.

You felt a little bad for laughing, but to see him scared was definitely a rare sight you'd never let go of. You made sure to take a mental picture of it.

The rest of the ride was filled with Kazuichi's screams and pleas to "kill him", shouts of joy from Akane, and some other shouts from others, including yourself.

Gundham remained and kept that same look of fear on his face.

Man, you're really hoping that this thing takes photos. Maybe Mahiru can make copies, or Monomi, maybe that rabbit could prove to be useful.

After the ride was over and came to a stop everyone got out of their carts.

"Hey, hey! Let's go on one more time!" Akane says excitedly.

"I agree! Once more!"

"I vouch for that, too! Let's go again!" You say, agreeing with Akane and Sonia.

"No! No friggin' way!!!" Kazuichi screams.

Teruteru looks around and agrees with Kazuichi, as well as Hajime.

Gundham grips your hand and looks at Hajime. "I..I agree. My Devas tell me it was intense and far from enjoyable.."

"You took the hamsters with you!?" Fuyuhiko says in shock.

"Devas!" Both you and Gundham say in unison, correcting Fuyuhiko.

Everyone looked at eachother and began to whisper, which was quickly interrupted by Sonia.

"Alright then! Shall we go to the beach, now?" Sonia says clasping her hands, a large smile on her face.

-Honest, Gundham doesn't even realise he's holding your hand up until you arrive at your cottage so that you can retrieve and change into your bathing suit.

-Doesn't let go until you're going to change and you have to tell him to let go so you could change.

-Poor guy is so flustered and embarrassed when you tell him.

-You and Gundham walked to the main island so that you can both go to your cottages to get your bathing suits, still hand and hand the whole time.

-You didn't dare let go, it was..enjoyable.

-You arrive at your cottage and retrieve your keys from your pocket. Unlocking and opening your door with one hand was just a bit harder then you'd think. Like trying to turn the door handle without dropping your key directly onto the floor where it could've fallen through the crack of the dock.

Walking into your room you go into your top drawer and grab your bathing suit, which had just conveniently been the drawer where all of your undergarments were held.

Your cheeks quickly flushed in embarrassment.

You walk to your bathroom, hands still interlocked with Gundham. Now this was just a little over the top.

"Uh, Gundham. You're still holding my hand and I gotta change, man.." You say, looking down at your hands and then back up at him with an awkward smile on your face.

"Hmm...?" Gundham makes a hum in confusion before looking down and realizing that he was in fact, holding your hand.

He quickly lets go and profusely apologizes more times than would be necessary, stumbling over his own words and trying to explain he hadn't known, EVERYTHING.

He was clearly flustered, and you felt bad but man did he look cute like that and with such an obvious blush on his pale face.

"Gundham, it's okay, don't worry. I don't mind, I just think it would've been a bit bold for you to walk into the bathroom with me when I needed to change, don't 'cha think?" You joke, trying to calm him down.

It only made it worse.

More apologies, and then he left your cottage in a rush, tripping over the end of your rug on the way out.

He's so awkward sometimes, but that's what makes him all the more interesting to be around or to be friends with in general.

Silly.

-It took him a while to show up at the beach.

-I feel like he'd be embarrassed/flustered for a while and it takes him time to get decently calmed down from it.

-He's real upset when he walks to your cottage to find that you've already left for the beach.

-He's like a sad puppy.

-Tries to walk as quickly as he can to see if he could catch up to you. Couldn't. You'd already made it long before so now he's even more upset.

-I feel that because he sorta isolates himself, once he finds someone he actually enjoys being around he gets like, real clingy.

-I'm totally not making that a headcannon because I do that..

-"Where's Gundham? That guy's constantly attached to you, it's kinda weird not seeing you two together." Kazuichi asks you, taking the volleyball from your hands.

"He was getting changed when I left. I'm pretty sure that he'll be here anytime soon."

You felt pretty bad for just leaving him, and you did wait by his door for a while, you really did! But after 15 minutes of not even hearing any sort of movement in his cottage other than the wheel that was in the Devas' cage making noise.

You talked to Sonia and Mahiru while you waited for him. It was mostly you and Mahiru doing the talking due to your similarities in ultimates, just as you always did.

"You'll have to take some pictures for me so I can draw them! I love drawing scenery with birds and bugs and such, but they don't stay still so it's never how it originally looked. Not as beautiful." You exclaim, presenting an idea to Mahiru.

"That actually sounds like a great idea, Y/n! We should do trades! I can take the picture, you draw it, and we'll trade some of them!" Mahiru seemed just as excited about the idea as you did.

You suddenly hear a gasp of what seemed to be excitment from Sonia from next to you.

"What? Are you alright Sonia?" You place a hand on her shoulder.

"There's your boyfriend, Y/n." Hiyoko says from behind you, snickering.

You look back at her then ahead to see a grumpy looking Gundham.

You now blush at the comment. Realizing what she was implying.

"He's not my boyfriend." You grumble at her.

You take your hand off of Sonia's shoulder and walk to Gundham.

He was in swimming trunks and still wearing his purple scarf. Some of the others found it odd, but where else would he keep the Devas?

"You okay, Gundham? You look upset, did something happen?" You say with a worried look on your face.

Gundham's face softens upon seeing you and he sits down on the sand.

"No, everything is great!" Gundham exclaims.

"Well, if everything is great with you, then I'm great too!" You smile.

-You literally spend 20 minutes just to build a small "castle" (a sorry excuse for one at that)

-Gundham has already made a big ass castle, stong and large enough to allow the Devas to run around on.

-You are BAFFLED because how the fuck did he do that so quick.

-One of his many talents.

-You give up and go back with Sonia.

-He just kinda does his own thing and makes his sandcastles while you go back to playing volleyball. He doesn't mind, he likes seeing you happy, but sometimes he can't help but feel a little jealous.

-Mahiru is definitely the first to know about your "little" crush. She knows before you do somehow. I feel like she could read people really well, especially when she knows them real well.

-Now, if you think any of Mahiru's small teases are embarrassingly bad, wait until Hiyoko gets an idea of it...

-She's relentless regardless, and making fun of someone is real EXTREMELY easy for her. So expect *loud* teases so everyone else around can hear.

-Anyone that hangs around with Gundham, or even just comes across him with the small chance that he's not with you, will 100% RELENTLESSLY tease him.

-"Why aren't you with your girlfriend?", "How's the relationship with Y/n going?", "Have you guys, y'know.. done anything?" <-*cough* that is definitely a Teruteru thing to say.

-I feel like one of them would try and play matchmaker, though miserably failing.

-Now, while some of the people on the island might kinda think Gundham is.. odd.. they'll still try to talk him into saying SOMETHING just so they can get rid of yours and Gundham's whining, though I'd feel Gundham would somehow be better at hiding it?

-Skipping to the *good part*, you're definitely the one to confess.

-This guy thinks he's hot shit but in reality he's TERRIFIED of saying anything about his feelings. In his head he's terrified that you'll never talk to him again. He just doesn't want to lose his one friend that cares so much for him like no one else has.

-If you thought Gundham was blushing like a madman when you two were holding hands, he's blushing even *harder* once you tell him. Same stammering mess, of course.

-You stare at Gundham, far longer than you would like to admit, completely disregarding the drawing you were originally doing of him reading one of his books 10 minutes ago.

Though he had a hardened look on his face, he still had some sort of softness due to him remembering that he was in your presence when no one else would.

He looks away from his book for a moment, just having finished the chapter he was on to glance at you, only to be met with you looking at him as well.

He looks away quickly, telling himself that you were just looking at him to get some sort of reference for your drawing, now suddenly turning red.

He buried his face into his scarf and busied himself with Jum-p, who had just come out onto his shoulder.

You smile to yourself, "Gundham..?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I tell you something? And you can't tell anyone else this either," You adjust your position, placing your sketchbook and pencil onto the floor of his room.

"Of course, Y/n,"

That's one thing you loved most about being this close with Gundham. He only ever talked so softly like that to you, and you only.

"I'm in love with you."

You knew that you'd grown more than fond of him for a while, but you didn't know what the funny feeling he gave you was until just two weeks ago, and after realising, it was all you thought about and it drove you insane to the point where you knew you had to say something.

Gundham's brain short circuited and he stared at you for what felt like ages to you, and it was making you nervous for his response, but his heart was practically beating out of his chest and if you were close enough you swear you could hear it loud and clear.

Of course he didn't mean to do this, but he couldn't believe that someone like you would let alone be his friend, but also fall in love him.

"Please say something," you say nervously.

Gundham could only nod, not too sure if that could be considered a response for something, as he was still unable to talk purely out of shock.

You were unsure if that single nod was a good thing, though the devas made it clear that it was.

They all crawled up your arms to sit on your shoulders and began to give you small "pecks" on your cheek. This only caused Gundham to become more red, which was surprisingly possible.

"I– I too, feel the same way," Gundham says, clearing his throat as if he were playing off his previous shortout.

You smile before walking up to Gundham, the four devas still on your shoulders, and give him a hug.

He tenses for a second, then remembers how fondly you feel of him, and he quickly relaxes, returning to embrace.

"I love you," You whisper.

"I love you too.." he replies, an awkward yet soft tone appearant in the way he says it.

You place a small peck on his cheek.

-It takes the two of you a while to show any PDA, but hand holding is as far as you'll go.

-He's a pretty shy guy. Like I said before, he thinks he's hot shit but in reality he's really terrified to show any PDA or relationship-y stuff like that.

-Honestly, being that, the relationship was more secret and whoever found out, found out purely out of a guess or by someone else saying something.

-Being that most of everyone kind of teased the both of you about the whole "relationship" thing before you guys became a thing, it takes them a while to figure it out that the two of you are together.

-"Pfft, who are you waiting for, your boyfriend," Hiyoko teases.

You were waiting outside of the Rocketpunch Market for Gundham to get some seeds before going to the beach with everyone else, and Hiyoko happened to get some of her gummy bears. She caught you waiting outside for some time and figured that you were waiting for Gundham after she saw him in there.

You stayed quiet and looked down at her for a moment before going back to your sketchpad.

"You're weird. No wonder you two weirdos get along with eachother,"

"Be nice, Hiyoko! Hi, Y/n! How are you today? Are you going down to the beach, too?" Mahiru asks after scolding Hiyoko.

"Hello, Mahiru! I'm doing well, just waiting for Gundham. He's picking up some sunflower seeds. I think I might go down but I was planning on hanging out with him instead," You respond as you wave at her.

Mahiru smiles and gives you a look.

"What?"

"Nothing," Mahiru says, walking away with Hiyoko, "I'll see you later, Y/n! Have fun and tell Gundham I said hi."

-As I said, the two of you just wait it out and if people find out, they find out. No use denying it with how close you'd been before, and how much closer you are now.

-Once Gundham and you get more comfortable than before, and after everybody has already found out (or most), you might get more comfy with slight PDA.

-It's much nicer now that you two are together because either of you have no suppressed feelings.

-I've got nothing else other than he's real sweet. I dunno man.

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This shit was so much fun to write, honest. I have no clue how many words this is but it is LONG. Hope you enjoyed😋

[alwayslurkinginthebackground]

Before - A Pedrotober Drabble

Day Twenty-Four of Pedrotober: Sundance Pedrotober Hosted by @norththelemon and @alyssamariag. View the full prompt list HERE and view my entire Pedrotober drabble catalog HERE.

Pairing: Marcus Acacius x f!reader

Rating: E for Every time I think about Marcus Acacius I want to fling myself into the sun because of his big hands and massive shoulders but instead of doing that I wrote this. Oral (fem receiving), unprotected p in v, Marcus the choking king is back, (kind of) semi-public sex.

Word Count: 1776

a/n: Just wait till you see how I incorporated the prompt into this one. Blink and you miss it. This is for my Marcus sister wife. Ask and you shall receive. This is firmly set in the same universe as "Fate" but you do not necessarily need to read that to understand this.

"Marcus," you giggle as he backs you against the wall, peppering your face with kiss after kiss. He's been at it for what feels like hours, large hands grabbing at your waist, twirling you around, touching every part of you he can reach as he guides you through the arena. It's already well into the night, late enough that he has no qualms about lurking in the shadows, making a place so riddled with death feel so full of life.

The moon is shining brightly overhead, illuminating his curls and the way they stand on end when you rake your fingers through them as he buries his face in your neck. You feel lighter than you ever have before, the burdens cascading from your shoulders whenever you're fortunate enough to find yourself in his arms.

And, you ponder, if this is what your grandmother meant when she spoke of love.

You push lightly at his shoulders when he bites down on your skin, marking you for the whole world to see. "Marcus, stop." It's a plea, but it isn't a serious one, and you can feel the way he's smiling against you. He halts his movement regardless, pulling back to gaze down at you with stars in his eyes.

He says nothing, his mouth falling open and then shut as he tries to form the words you long to hear. But you understand why they don't fall, the intensity of the magnetism that keeps you in his orbit rendering you speechless more than once, too. Everything had happened by chance, a rare feeling for someone whose entire life had felt so incredibly set on a singular, pre-written path. One riddled with death and despair suddenly shifting to an existence blessed with light and love. It had been his horse that brought you together, skittish when confined by the walls of the bustling city but calmed by your patient hand, his rider captivated from the moment you appeared in his world.

The days since have been filled with stolen moments, although it does little to diminish the whisper of rumors that float through the streets. The gossip that the soon-to-be general has his eyes set on a commoner. You must admit, it is difficult to conceal the blossoming relationship you and Marcus share, but you do your best to shelter it from the public eye, all too aware of the fate that might await you should something be confirmed.

Marcus does his best to convince you otherwise, assuring you now with murmurs against the shell of your ear that you would be protected. That he would marry you tonight if you would let him. The thought is tempting, the appeal of lounging in his bed for the remainder of your days, of washing the evidence of battle from his skin in song, languid strokes. It's an easy image in your mind, the life you would lead at his side, but it is also one that is constantly tainted by the darkness that follows wherever you go.

For your grandmother had also spoken of loss.

He paves a trail down your body, lips setting you ablaze as he parts your tunic and exposes your dripping center to the cool night air. "I will take care of you," Marcus vows as he guides the rough pads of his fingers through your folds, and you know instantly that he only speaks the truth. He slips a long finger past your entrance, easing you open with careful movements, and his name flows freely from your lips when he adds a second, your back arching against the hard brick. The delicate skin of your shoulders burns as it grazes over the coarse surface, but you would rather bleed than have him stop the practiced motions between your thighs.

You try to ground yourself, tugging on his hair when he parts your legs further and directs you to drape one over his broad shoulder. It opens you to his waiting tongue, eagerly latching onto your clit as sparks fire behind your closed eyes. In the bathhouses, you'd overheard the complaints of other women, their needs unmet during emotionless encounters, but you struggle to relate. With Marcus, you only know pleasure, and under a moonlit sky, he guides you toward the heavens.

A hand covers your mouth at the same moment you feel the scream rise in the back of your throat, and it shifts down to close around your neck in a silent command to remain quiet. The arena may be devoid of roaring crowds in the dead of night, but it is not without its dangers, and yet Marcus continues his ministrations. You reach your peak, shuttering in his arms and melting into his kiss, your taste lingering on his tongue once he's crawled back up your body.

There's a distant sound, one that causes him to crowd you further against the wall, enclosing you both in the shadows completely. The evidence of his desire presses firmly against your stomach, and when combined with the aftershocks of the climax still flowing through you, it only heightens your need for him.

"Marcus," you whisper breathlessly, grasping at his neck to draw him closer, encouraging him to continue.

He kisses you firmly, silencing you with a promise of all that is yet to come. "Not here," he returns, waiting for the din of footsteps to fade. When the silence settles around you, he pauses to reach above your head, delicately grasping a small bud that has found a home between the cracks. With a cautious hand, he plucks the rose and tucks it behind your ear, lust fading when his touch ignites another emotion entirely. One that you are more certain of with each passing second.

The dim streets feel hollow as you pass through them, your hand tucked safely in his. The faint blossom of the sun is already beginning to paint the sky, tainting the darkness with brilliant hues of pink and purple. Marcus rarely rushes when it comes to you, but his pace is steady as he leads you to his quarters. The humble abode is a far cry from the chambers he will receive upon his promotion, but is even further from the dingy room you call home. The elaborate furnishings are a stark reminder of the distance that separates you - the wealth, the status, the commission - everything that should keep you apart that means nothing when you're together.

You stand facing the bed as he locks the door, heart pounding in your chest with anticipation. The heat radiating from his skin is apparent when he steps behind you, tracing along your shoulders until the straps of your tunic slide down your arms, leaving you bare. Hands circle your body, charting a path that leaves air caught in your lungs. One stems lower, back toward your wanting center, the other higher, reaching for your breast and binding it in his firm grasp.

It's startling how quickly he works you up, the mess at the apex of your thighs a testimony to the way he knows your body better than perhaps you know yourself. Mere moments pass before your knees begin to give way, a strong arm clutching you against him until he can tenderly lower you to his bed. He towers over you as you watch him undress, removing the ornate garments from his frame piece by piece until he, too, stands naked before you.

Something echoes in the back of your mind, the complaints of women far more experienced than you. You cannot refrain from running your tongue along your swollen lips at the sight of him, far more impressive than anything the gossips could dream of. When he closes in on you, molding your body into the plush pillows at your back, seething his length into your waiting heat, you allow yourself to smile for just a moment because you get to experience this. You get to feel him. No one else.

Marcus grunts softly as he begins to rock into you, sliding out almost completely before thrusting home, his hips flush with yours. It's entirely too much when he hesitates, stilling as something unspoken passes between you again. The sun appears on the horizon, flooding his chambers with dull light as passion races to the front of your mind, spiraling out of control until you can feel the words on the tip of your tongue. You itch to grasp something, hands running along the sheets that surround you until he's lacing his fingers with yours, pinning your hands above your head and lowering to kiss your forehead.

"I love you," he breathes, lips brushing your skin at the same time that everything erupts. Warmth spills over your body as the morning light highlights the deep color of his eyes, and you know that for all the pain you have experienced in your life, you would live it all again if only to return to this moment. He doesn't wait for you to return the sentiment, immediately setting a persistent pace that has you digging your nails into his hand.

A thread coils in your stomach, tightening when he changes the angle so he covers you completely. You're surrounded, enveloped by him physically and emotionally, and the second he releases your hands, you're holding him against you, whispering your affirmations in his ear.

"I love you. I love you. I love you."

The words don't feel adequate, the same way the time you manage to claim never feels long enough, and the way the distance between you always appears too far. You repeat them anyway, soaring higher until you feel his seed fill you, Marcus sighing in a final plea for you to follow him over the edge.

"Release."

You clench around him, pleading with the universe to surrender as you do. To allow you this. To let you remain in his arms despite the barriers that threaten to keep you apart. To grant you a lifetime of his love regardless of the trials that await you beyond the walls of these quarters.

You're aware, however, that it's a futile effort. The fates determined your futures long ago, and you cannot dispute their intent. Not even as the sun dances across the waves outside his window, threatening to dispel the darkness that lingers at the edge of your vision. Soon, he will go somewhere you cannot follow, and it causes you to hold him tighter. To wonder if when death comes, it will be gracious enough to take you both.

Because, as your grandmother once said, if you must die, may you die with the one you love.

Read the entire "Fate" Trilogy | Fate | Before | After

[icycoldninja]

Can you write a reader with the DMC boys who’s mostly very chill but she actually have repressed anger issues built up due to past traumas of not being able to express her emotions properly without being “lectured” and overall, she’s been neglected almost her entire life without her actually realizing it. She thought that her parents giving her money to spend is enough love but throughout the process of loving the boys, she found out that love can be more than that and her parents may not have properly loved her the way she thought. It’s only when she’s in a relationship with them does she realize how neglected she was,

as early in the relationship, she’s pretty withdrawal from affection, flinching when they gave her physical affection, finding herself hard to set boundaries and voice out her thoughts and refusing to let them do things for her as she believes that if she let them do it, they’ll find her bothersome. On top of that, she kinda has a mindset of not being too attached to them as she thinks that if they ever cheat on her or broke her heart, she wouldn’t be too heartbroken abt it. Now with the relationship progressing, she’s starting to become better but it’s still there somehow

They found out when they saw the reader, who was very fearful of demons (think of her fearfulness similar to that of Kobeni in Chainsaw man) but can get extremely violent moments later when the demon she was avoiding suddenly got beaten into a bloody pulp with her baseball bat

Basically going from “I’m sorry mother, I have failed you as your daughter and you have failed me as my mother. I hope you’ll never forgive me” to “Fucking die! You shitheads, no one shall ever leave this room alive!!”

P/S: Her parents are not abusive, it’s just that her father was barely available throughout her childhood and her mother do not know how to love her properly and is not aware that the reason her daughter barely wants to keep contact with her is due to her past trauma

OK, got it! Here ya go and enioy!

Sparda boys + V x Reader with repressed anger issues headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-Dante found you to be a pleasant challenge. You were uptight, physically and emotionally distant, cold, mean, and extremely reluctant to open your heart to anyone.

-He didn't mind though; Dante was certain that with time, he'd manage to worm his way into your heart and get you to accept your relationship for what it was: true love.

-Upon learning of how you were forced to bottle up your emotions, Dante was outraged. Not at you, at your parents. Why would they deny your the right to express yourself fully? No wonder you were like this. From that point on, Dante made sure to encourage you to say what was on your mind, regardless of whether it was positive or not.

-Dante is always showering you with attention and kind words, making sure you're doing alright every other hour. It really made you think about how you were raised, and how your childhood seemed so deprived of love compared to now.

-You started opening up more to Dante, as a result, sharing your true thoughts and allowing yourself to feel more emotions.

-When Dante took you with him on a mission for the first time, he was shocked to see how you reacted to seeing a real life demon. At first you were crying, laughing, mumbling to yourself like an insane person, the next, you'd pulled out a baseball bat and bashed the thing into a bloody pulp.

-Dante's respect for you rocketed into the stars after that incident, but he makes sure to keep you away from demons unless it's absolutely necessary.

■ Vergil ■

-Vergil didn't mind your physical and emotional distance, as well as your stubbornness to remain independent. He reasoned all this stemmed from trauma, and as someone with these exact same issues, he understood.

-He would never pressure you into revealing things about yourself; all would come in due time. He would simply sit there and read quietly. If you wanted to talk, he would listen. If not, then he would mind his own business.

-He was still very protective of you when you were in public, as prying eyes and gawking strangers never did sit right with him.

-At some point you chose to tell him about how you'd always been told to disguise your emotions and keep them bottled up inside. Vergil found it odd that your own parents would tell you to do this, but since he himself did the very same thing, he didn't say much about it.

-He does want you to know you can express yourself however you feel around him--within reason, of course.

-He was understandably surprised when he witnessed the way you freaked out over demons. First you're cowering, crying and muttering gibberish to yourself, the next, you're screaming and terrifyingly violent as you bash the demon's skull in.

-Vergil realized that if you could actively control this reaction, you'd do very well in battle. Still, he should keep you away from any and all hellish threats from now on.

□ Nero □

-Nero found you rather difficult to get along with since you rejected any and all help from him and was always cold and mean.

-Still, he loved you and tried his best to keep you happy. Since you preferred to do everything yourself, he'd let you do everything yourself.

-He attempted to initiate conversation with you at every chance he got, even if you rudely brushed him off. As long as he kept trying, he was sure you'd let him in eventually.

-Your reluctance to get attached to him was more than obvious; it made Nero sad to think you believed he'd so much as consider abandoning you. He made sure to tell you that he loves you and that he'll stay with you forever, every single day.

-Thanks to his constant reminders, you've let yourself relax around him, and even though you're still somewhat tense, you don't flinch when he hugs you and don't reject him when he tries to kiss you.

-Watching you freak out over demons was no pleasant experience either. He'd never seen someone have such a complete mood switch in such a short amount of time. One moment you look like you're on the verge of a breakdown and the next, you're violent enough to become a demon yourself.

-Your anger issues are scary, but not nearly as bad as Nero's, so the plus side is you two can lash out at the world together.

● V ●

-V (being part of Vergil) understands that trauma makes one extremely distant, both physically and emotionally, so he tries to not let that get to him.

-He wants you to understand that he will never leave you, cheat on you, or hurt you in anyway. He loves you and only you, and it's gonna be that way forever.

-Even though you're audibly against it, V will come up and hold you whenever he feels like it, burying his face into your shoulder, pressing kisses to your neck, wrapping his lanky arms around your waist, the lot.

-You might groan and complain, but eventually you get used to it, and then you just kinda melt into his touch. This is good. It means his plan to coax you out of your shell is working.

-He does let you do what you want on your own, but makes sure to remind you that you are not a burden, especially when he can barely walk around on his own two feet.

-When you guys went on a mission together and he got to see you having what looked like a full on breakdown because of one demon, V grew very worried. Had a hidden phobia just been triggered?

-Then he saw you whack the sorry creature with a baseball bat you apparently conjured into existence and was reassured that all this was just a productive of your supressed anger issues--which was fine. He could work with that.

[jamneuromain]

Highway to Hell - Shared

Series Masterlist

Series summary: A failed mission brought you once again back on earth, a punishment that’s more pleasurable than you'd normally expect punishments to be. Your punishment? Corrupting people’s thoughts. It’s easy, in a very simple way: sexual pleasure. Turns out no man can resist such a beauty like you.

And who were you? Oh, just the devil's child.

A/N: This is a drabble of what would the four men do when they find out you have been dancing among them. Spoiler alert: they decide to share. Applause to the amazing @rogerswifesblog / @rogerswifesblog-updates who help me write this series and provide many excellent ideas to put in the fic <333

Pairings: Cop Lloyd Hansen x Reader, Priest Steve Rogers x Reader, Bartender Ari Levinson x Reader, Uncle Curtis Everett x Reader

Warnings: Smut, Gangbang, Dub con, Double Penetration, P in V, Anal, Oral (Male Receiving), Handjob, Unprotected Sex, Age Gap (implied), Power Imbalance, Spanking, Threesome (implied), Overstimulation, Creampie (implied), Cum Play, Dummification (just a little), slightly dark(?

On second thought, you shouldn’t have trusted Steve, who told you he needed to speak to you in somewhere private.

And you trusted him. Following him to where he said it would be “peace and quiet”.

Or else, you wouldn’t be cornered by four fuming men in a hotel room, all knowing that you have slept with them separately, while thinking they must have been your only one.

Who would doubt an innocent girl that did nothing than to accept their “generous” offer?

Lloyd, obviously.

“Smart move, sunshine.” The man with a moustache twitches his lips, far from amused, “Telling us that you are shy and rather we won’t tell anybody? Intimate moves forbidden in public? Too bad your little plan didn’t work out.”

“I didn’t plan anything.” You lie to their faces. While in fact you did, carefully choosing your “target”. Lloyd was the unexpected one of them though, since he asked you to pull over as you should have gotten a speed ticket.

“Public?” Steve grinds his teeth before growling, his temper on the thin line of exploding, “I fucked her right in the church. There were only two of us. But still…” Drawing a cross in front of his chest, Steve murmurs a few prayers silently, regardless of the other three men watching him in curiosity.

Lloyd snaps his head back to you, flashing a wolfish glint in his eyes, “The point is, you made us feel very bad about ourselves, sunshine.”

“Yeah, well, you should be proud of yourselves. I wasn’t planning on expanding the list of the men I’ve slept with.” You snap back.

“And we’re supposed to … what? Gloat?” Curtis casually says, taking off his coat, blocking the window, and probably your only hope of escaping, as Lloyd leans on the door.

“If you don’t like it. Feel free to cancel my monthly subscription.” You retort his sarcasm, crossing your arm in front of your chest.

“Gentlemen,” Ari hums in a low voice so that everyone could pay him some attention. He’s been silent ever since Steve led you into this room, “obviously we need more than a ‘monthly’ drop-by.”

The men nod in unison.

“Although we haven’t clarified the specific terms, I believe we should use her whenever we please. And, of course, as we all agree to, share.” Ari smiles at you, but says the darkest thing you could ever imagine.

This was definitely not part of your plan.

“I’ll ask Jake whether he wants to be part of this.” Curtis throws an icy glare at you, “I doubt he would be a problem though. He has shared with me before.”

Lloyd mutters a “fuck”. While Steve is still mulling over his sin-clarification.

“Shall we start?” Ari is shrugging off his leather jacket as he speaks, unbuttoning the top two buttons of his shirt.

“You can’t-” You cry in panic as the four men close in, surrounding you in the middle, “this is against the law … or something at least.”

“Oh sunshine, I am the law in this town.” Lloyd grabs your chin, his psychopathic grin gives you shivers down to your spine, “and you should be glad we decide to forgive you and share you. Or I could tie you up in my basement and invite my new friends over, occasionally.”

You draw a deep breath.

Tears burning. Your jaw hurting. Your dripping holes spreading wide open for two cocks.

“You like that, don’t you?” Lloyd groans as he squeezes your hand tighter, guiding you to stroke his hard cock.

“Yeah she does.” Steve agrees quietly before you could answer. He knees on the couch to push his cock further in your swollen pussy, “Christ. She’s so tight.”

“Wait till you’ve tried her ass, Priest.” Ari brings his hand firmly down your ass cheek, painting it red – as if it weren’t pink and hand-printed already, “that ass is fucking heaven.” He chuckles darkly, kissing the sensitive spot behind your ear, gripping your waist, making sure you are fully seated on his thick member, “or should I say hell?”

Stuffed to the fullest with two cocks in both of your holes, you couldn’t do more than let out a mere whimper.

“Can’t believe I’ve bought her stupid acts.” Curtis spits out through gritted teeth as he feels your throat takes his cock again as far as it could, your whimper vibrates his cock. In return, he tugs your hair without mercy, “all those innocent girly acts. Fuck.”

“We all bought it.” Lloyd eyes Curtis, raising his eyebrows, mocking Curtis, “and speaking from a man that has shared her with his son before, seriously? Innocent?”

Curtis huffs but does not bother to answer.

“My turn.” As Lloyd pulls your hair, and choke you on his cock, leaving Curtis slightly irritated.

You were used by these four men for hours. Each has painted your body, both inside and outside in milky-white substance, bringing you orgasms after orgasms. Your holes red, leaking, and abused.

“No more.” You grip Lloyd’s thigh to keep balance, sniffling when he lets your head go and breathe, battling your eyelashes, but they are heavy with tears that you can’t see his expression, “hurt too much.”

“Heard that?” Lloyd barks out laughter, wiping his cock on your face, leaving traces of your saliva and cum on your rosy cheek, “she said she can’t take it, boys.”

Ari grunts out of disagreement, his fingers dancing around your rim, attempting to squeeze one in alongside his cock, “she was screaming and moaning just fine for hours. Lies.”

“Ari, please,” The helplessness inside you bubbles and fuels to your tears, “I just can’t.”

Steve peppers a trail of kisses down your throat, nibbing your shoulder, while toying with your sensitive clit, “I guess you have to be a strong girl for us then. Don’t you want to be good for all of us, hmm? We’re prepping you. More might join, you know.” He speaks softly, comforting you as always. The panting on the joint between your neck and shoulder increases when your pussy grips him. Still, he mouths your breasts, sucking little red marks on them.

“Steve-” You feel torn apart. The four men bringing you pleasure, but in their own way. As if your body belongs to them separately. And the coil in your stomach threatens to snap with greater pain and pleasure than you could withstand.

A rough hand grips your chin, forcing you to turn the other way.

The hand that has hold you for countless times, on your back with a friendly pat.

Curtis.

“She’s not dumb yet. She can still talk.” Curtis talks about you as if you are an object in front of him, having you clench down your thigh involuntarily. It’s degrading, but it arouses you so much than you should admit. “I’d say she could take more.” The dark brooding man inspects your teary eyes and your cum-stained face, “yeah she’s alright.”

“Heard that, sunshine?” Lloyd taps your forehead with his knuckles, “not brain-dead yet.” He grins, “but it does sound empty, folks.”

Steve wipes the cum from your pussy lips, a mixture of the previous men who has thoroughly used it before he did, onto your soft stomach, which compliments your pretty skin and your cute bellybutton. He smiles warmly, though you are not even certain at this point, “she’s always the smartest. I’d say we work harder to satisfy this little devil, hmm?”

With the element of surprise, Ari starts bouncing you on his dick, shamelessly putting his flexing biceps to use, which earns him a few strangled sounds between cries and moans from you.

He simply shrugs, on receiving three other men’s looks, “I am working.”

And you gulp in fright. When Lloyd, with his sadist grin, taps your lips to open for his heavy cock as you still struggle for air.

This would be the start of some many long nights with men more than you could handle.

Taglist: @rosedpetal @dankoiseori @katcutie @peachlle @mrs-marc-spector

[dootznbootz]

Hi!! I love your blog and I’m enjoying your Odypen headcanons and theories very much! I recently started reading the Iliad so I’m new to all this and I just want to know your opinion on smth. In song 1, lines 135-140 Agamemnon mentions the bride prizes of several Achaean leaders, including Odysseus. Obviously nothing else is mentioned, no name, just that he has one, too. What’s your take on that? Any headcanons? I honestly hate the whole cheating discourse around him and I don’t want to add more fuel to the fire because in the Odyssey he was clearly a victim!! I would just love to know what you think about this particular thing in the Iliad. Considering the historical and cultural context, having a bride prize was normal in war (albeit awful from our modern standpoint). But Odysseus is a very interesting and complicated character so this could go in many different ways with him, and in any case it doesn’t really change my opinion on his love for Penelope. Thank you! :)

Thank you so much!!! That's so kind! And I'm so happy you're reading the Iliad! I hope you enjoy it! I'm so happy you're enjoying my silly and I DO have many thoughts about it! :D

And very good that either way, it doesn't change your opinion on his love for Penelope. My opinion/interpretation regardless of those lines, that should ALWAYS be the interpretation that people have of Odysseus.

So idk if you've seen my Aspec OdyPen silliness yet and/or my "Odysseus is a half-eunich from the boar". BUT those are my headcanons. (which I can delve into further later)

but I'll go over the canon evidence now. :P

(disclaimer: Slavery is a fucked up thing regardless of the circumstances. this is in no way excusing any of it)

So IDK which translation you're reading, but as someone who's read multiple versions...Some just say "Prize", and with the "it" and "something". I...didn't really see it as a woman and/or specifically a concubine.

Let Achaeans give me another prize, equal in value, something I’ll enjoy. If not, then I’ll take a prize myself by force,                                   something from you or Ajax or Odysseus.

(Book 1, Johnston)

Let the Achaeans find me a prize in fair exchange to my liking, or I will come and take your own, or that of Ajax or of Ulysses; and he to whomsoever I may come shall rue my coming.

(Book 1, Butler)

But if they do not give me such a gift, then I will seize your own prize or Ajax’s or Odysseus’ and carry it away, angering whomever I visit.

(Book 1, Heumann)

So to ME, (I do not know what the actual words said mean) I take "Prize" of "something of equal value" and/or just a slave.

As yeah...My Odysseus is aspec (basically Pen-romantic/Pen-sexual), I kind of plan to WRITE it personally as a bit of a thing with "Grab one of Odysseus' slaves, he doesn't use them as concubines."

And with Odysseus being the one to transport Chryseis, I have it where it's a bit of "I'll go bring her to her father. Take any slave you wish from my tent if you must. I don't care."

Agamemnon dragged a swift ship down the shore, chose twenty sailors, loaded on the oxen, offerings for the god, and led on fair-cheeked Chryseis.          Shrewd Odysseus shipped on as leader. All aboard, they set off, carving a pathway through the sea.

(Book 1, Johnston)

(Also with Ajax and his girlfriend/bride prize, I think this kind of made him extremely worried. My Odysseus and Ajax have "special beef" even BEFORE the war but they are fine about it by the war. Odysseus not only doesn't have a concubine or slave woman he's attached to but he also was helping a bro out in a way lol.)

And Odysseus is a king and a piece of shit. It's horrible but it feels in character for my lil asshole to basically use pretty slaves in trading. "Hey, you like lighthaired girls, yeah? Well, you have that really pretty silver-studded sword...I want it. Would you like to exchange?"

I want to make it clear that I'm not writing like this or interpreting this in the way of "UwU Odysseus is too of a good boy for that." as that feels icky to try and "make everyone else shitty to make him 'better'". It's literally because Odysseus is just simply LIKE this. He has basically no libido/sex drive if Penelope isn't around. (I'm keeping this as safe for wormlings as I can so I'll leave it at that.)

An old wip post explains it more but I'll also put the wip itself here to kind of explain lol

My Odysseus is a "pretty boy" as he is in canon as well, and he hates when people make moves on him.

BUT these are just MY headcanons and/or what I plan to write, while I just don't really vibe with Odysseus being with folks willingly other than Penelope I have big gay for her. I live vicariously through Odysseus. I love her so much I can't stop others and other people COULD find evidence of Odysseus being with others if they truly wanted.

[kerryweaverlesbian]

2024, cawis created...

My annual self-review!! Yippee! My fics uploaded to ao3 was WAY WAY lower than previous years (2022 and 2023) which is not for lack of thinking about supernatural, but because I was doing a Masters for most of the year lol. Still, 28,816 words over 12 fics is nothing to sniff at! And that again doesn't include things only on tumblr or my many, many, many works in progress!

I will discuss the fics I posts, and then I will discuss all the projects I did for my Publishing Masters as a part 2 because I worked damn hard on them and this is a space for my personal reflection regardless of if anyone else can access them! But if you are interested in any of them and we've communicated before I'll send you them if I can lol <3 Let's go!!

The Year Of Small Relationships

Something about these little guys really compelled me this year.

Saint of the Smallest Sun Becky/Ambriel Becky thinks Ambriel is going to save her from the Apocalypse. Ambriel just wants to be left alone. The first time Ambriel came to earth, it was new, and fresh, and innocent. Ambriel had stepped into a pile of rotting fruit with her vessel's bare foot, and decided not to come again if she could help it.

When you eroticise the divine 🥳

Due to the continued blessings of the sapphicnatural community, I thought about women SO much last year. I sent a LOT of anon prompts to @spntoxicfemslashevent (honestly if I counted those asks as fics it might have pushed my wordcount up by another thousand lmao) but one of them in particular I held on to was this one!

I've talked about the writing process for this one a little already with my process of developing small characters but I have more silly things to say about it - I used some of Becky's ranting dialogue to slip in some playful digs at spnblr/general fandom discourse:

"Not that there's anything wrong with girls - I - I was such a big fan of Jo! You know, after it was clear she wasn't going to be a threat to the brother's relationship."  "The Michael/Lucifer angel stuff was never really my bag, I thought it was better when the boys were doing thematically resonant creature-features" "I mean, Sam, Sam Winchester. It's the [fake ID] where he lists his sex as female and his name as Sam Vincente - which, obviously, the coding...a boy wants what a boy wants, and sometimes that's a man in leather pants."

There are few things I enjoy more in the world than making up fandom discourse. I hold in my brain the knowledge of how every kind of fan would respond to any situation, including if you're in the Apocalypse and the most annoying forum mod you've seen in your entire life won't shut the fuck up about her angel OC that she CLAIMS is from Carver Edlund's later notes as if THOSE are canon. I really enjoyed writing Becky in this one, fully embracing the cringe of extreme fangirlism and digging into the feelings behind it (isolation, a desire for guidance, safely imagined eroticism, guarding yourself from shame however you can). I should put her in more things!

When shall we live, if not now? Daphne Allen and Emmanuel!Cas Daphne Allen's new husband asks too many questions. She tries her absolute best to ignore the answers.

Look at how efficient and compelling that blurb is. Chef's kiss. This one is about shutting down curiosity about yourself because of fear of what you might find (the fact that you might enjoy being masc!!!). I really like this one. I really like all of them lmao but I even more really like this one. """Daphne""" is longing but if "she" starts opening those doors, who knows what might come out. Not for nothing, this was the year I started introducing myself as a different name to more than just my LGBT groups ;P and everyone has been normal about it! Aside from one drunk guy but he was only mildly derisive lol idgaf

The Misplaced Stitch Jack and Castiel A brief look at Jack's taut relationship with being treated as a precious object.

Jack and Cas aren't exactly a minor relationship as such but. also they kind of are. they're nowhere near as explored in canon as I thought they were going to be! I place this one and When Shall We Live in the same mental category. Insular characters prompted to reflection by the confusing actions of Castiel, without him meaning to do this (lol). I love when I can twist an objectively nice and kindly meant statement from one character ("You are precious to me :)") into something that feels like a confirmation of the other character's worst thoughts about their relationship ("I will not be granted closeness unless I conform to his ideals of me"). My thoughts on Jack are very much influenced by @shallowseeker's and @soullessjack's thoughtful analyses of him <3

Tiger Stripes Destiel through the lens of DeanLisa Lisa asks about the handprint scar, and Dean doesn't know how to talk about Cas

I LIKE DeanLisa I think they were in love !!!! Dean's fucked up because his brother died and his new best friend bolted and Bobby starts going quiet (when Soulless!Sam turns up). You can romantically be in love with someone and it not work out. Anyway, I started getting more gorey graphic this year when describing Hell huh? I had some graphic violence in A Light Above Descending but I'm really starting to enjoy specifying it. Lol.

I do the old "there is a movie playing that is almost exactly the relationship drama that is about to unfold" in this one, with the cowboy movie.

God I was horny (positive)

I was hornier on tumblr itself but I did get some fics out about it

Don't Stop Don't Slow Destiel Cas is NOT prepared for how it overwhelming feels to have sex with the man he's in love with <3

This was based on a text post and I do NOT remember whose but I'm pretty sure I tracked it down and sent this to them eventually so it's alright. This one. Phew!! One of the writing block things I had was that I genuinely could not decide in any direction what Cas's genital situation should be but then a transmasc friend of mine mentioned that they wished there was more tdick porn on ao3 and so!!! I shrimply had to!! Shout out to anyone with a tdick. That's hot as fuck.

baby, you can drive my car deancaspala :) A loving examination of Dean's erotic feelings towards his car while he and Cas have sex in it.

I'm sooooo normal about machines you can send me gifs and videos of machines being delicately taken apart and I'll be completely unaffected and so so super normal and regular and normal. I got a really, really lovely comment on this a while ago that said it was part of the foundation of their view of transfem dean and it made me tear up :') there are other writers in this fandom who have opened similar mental doors for me!! (btw yous should all read the pain in the end is all in your memory by @explainslowly if you want to see part of myyy foundational transfem dean understanding). Dean's gender identity and lived reality is anything I feel like exploring at the time <3

Also. lol. Partly this is because I realised I haven't done "unarguably there are two cis dicks present in this sex scene" for a long time, and I like to have a diversity of writing experience!

The Meg Contingent

We gotta get her in somewhere don't we.

An Overcrowded Empty Room Meg and Sam The sampreg abortion fic

I've already talked about this one in detail here!

By Any Other Name Meg Ava Ruby What if the sadgirl demons were the main characters huh? What if Ruby was motivated in any way at all other than being an evil skank? I'll actually talk about this next year when it's complete (SURELY I'll have completed it by then...)

i guess you are good for something...2!! The Destiel Wedding!!! If you haven't read my silly meanstiel threesomes fic yet. what are you doing with your life honestly.

Another version of what this fic COULD have been was a jody POV where she's also a guest and is sniffing out the gossip of what the hell is going on between dean meg and cas BUT I missed the Meg POV and also it would suggest a furtiveness in their relationship that doesn't feel true. They're openly snogging on the dance floor and if you asked directly wtf is going on none of them could give you a straight answer. Meg would make something up, Cas would say what Meg told him to say (made up) and Dean would get flustered and tell you to butt out. There was also a potential scene of Meg smoking weed before the ceremony with Rufus but I couldn't get it to fit in the pacing lol.

Uh oh uncatagorised lonely boy

Let Me Count The Ways Dean suicidal ideation and Castiel's inability to talk to him about it

I kinda say everything I wanted to say on this one in the authors notes. Aside from! That this is a fic that spawned from starting a wip of Dean having an "I don't love you as much as you love me I can't stand to be loved so wholly" breakdown during destiel gay sex and when I got to Cas's response I couldn't make it work because I kept having Cas understand and be reassuring in a way that made sense to Dean in that moment and I was like. I gotta think about how I write Cas bc he's sooooooooo awful at advice and emotional support in canon sometimes.

END OF PART 1!

I didn't talk about two of the fics I published last year bc they're ongoing serieses that will all be little slice of life vingettes and they are what it says on the tins lol

I will repeat my reflection challenges for you from the 2023 reflection:

My challenge for you is to think about women falling in love with other women. Wow, beautiful, right? And also to think of ONE thing you did that you are proud of last year. Even and in fact especially if it's something you're not "supposed" to be proud of. Did you find something new you liked. Were you kind to someone. Were you kind to yourself when you didn't have to be. All these and more are things to take pride in.

Shout out to my friends and mutuals and to. frankly. dean winchester supernatural. MWAH.

[miitarashi]

Can u write Tintin being the bottom?☕ If you don't fell comfortable with that ignore the request

Hm,not gonna lie here dear unknow person,it'll be quite the challenge,but luckly you! I do have some little ideas about him like this so, let's dive in shall we?

[Name] = reader (neutral since it wasn't specified)

Warnings: If i get it right,this one will be a little nsfw,but i'll do like the other,more like a headcanon list. Be aware dear persons! If you don't like this type of content feel free to not read ok? Making it clear. It's my opinion here. And i would love knowing about yours in the comments!

✨Tintin as a bottom✨

Let's begin with the fact that (for me) he's a switch and always let you have your way about it,so if you feel a bit more...

Top this time,he'll happily obligue.

This man just want to please you as much he can.

Tease him is pretty easy because

✨Thigh kink✨

Show them off and this man will follow you like a lost puppy.

If you don't let him touch them,he'll nod and stop trying,but when you keep walking around in front of him,capturing his eyes every now and then,you'll feel his stare.

Letting the obvious teasing aside,go for his neck.

Small kisses, light bite and scratchs with your nails or teeth. If you want him bitting his bottom lips and letting that deep sigh?

Collarbone. Just a bit lower. Sweet spot for sure.

Do it while moving your hand down. At this point he's melting on your touches and will probably try to hide what you did to him.

But hey,you're a good person and partner! So of course you help him.

When you begin working your hand down on him,after all the tease you'll have a pretty needy Tintin on your hands.

He'll try,very little,to supress his sounds,but soon enough...

"[Name]...Darling, please...don't- don't stop...!"

If you use your mouth? Damm,trying to kill him??

He do like the praise too,since he's a good boy he deserve the praises!

Favorite one? "Eyes on me"

Try me and fail.

If you riding or topping him and for a moment he look away or close his eyes,trying to hold as much longer he can. Stop moving,say it and enjoy those beautiful blue pleading eyes focused on you and on your body moving on him.

The results of it?

"D-darling...i-"

"Keep looking Tintin...eyes on me..."

"Darling...P-please stop...i can't- s-stop...stop please!-"

He still trying,but having you on top like this was too much for our precious boy.

Along the whole thing you'll never stop hearing he saying how beautiful you look. Again,he is a worshiper.

Even when you two finish,he'll still insist on taking care of you after,so basically you two take care of one another to make things fair.

Make him breakfast and bring it for him in the morning after and you'll have a happy smile on his cute face. Precious🥹❤️

Fun fact: Tintin is cynical,so expect him taking advantage of a situation similar to make you feel the same as he did. But of course. It wasn't on purpose,it was an accident that coincidentally the same thing end up happening 😉

___________________________________________

A/N: sorry if it is too short,i don't have so much headcanons about this. Probably because i'm the bottom one and bottom with other bottom don't make a top you know? But! I really hope i did justice for your request! And don't worry,i didn't feel uncomfortable,just a bit difficult to find the things to write but it was fun regardless!

[drphitheguy]

Hotline Ruina and Acceptance (and a lack thereof)

I've been playing Hotline Miami 2 & Library of Ruina lately, and it's got me thinking about their similarities. Both are settings that have incredible violence, interesting characters, and they're both very gloomy and kinda depressing, though Ruina is way more dystopian. But what I've been thinking about is how these series handle death.

A bit of a warning: there will be spoilers for both Hotline Miami and Library of Ruina, as well as mentions of death.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

D A N G E R S P O I L E R S A H E A D

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In Hotline Miami 2, we see into the lives of everyone involved in the story. The Fans, Beard (Jacket's friend from the first game), Manny Pardo, Richter, and even some members of the Russian Mafia. While the gameplay is still more or less the same as the first, you realize that the people you fight and kill throughout the game also have names, aspirations, and are trying to live their lives, no matter how egregious the cost. You also learn that they're all heading to a quite literal dead end. We also learn how 50 Blessings operates (the people who spurred the assaults on the Russian Mafia.) Basically, what ultimately happens is that this cycle of violence escalates so intensely that it leads to nuclear annihilation. Every character we've ever gotten to know and see the life of gone in an instant. And do you know what I felt? Hollow...but I also felt acceptance. I came to terms with the fact that all these characters made the decisions that brought them all to that point. And there's nothing that we the player could have done to change the outcome. Now let's switch gears over to Ruina shall we?

Library of Ruina follows up after the events of Lobotomy Corporation (which you should play beforehand) We follow Angela (the Library Director) and Roland (a washed-up grade 9 fixer). Basically Angela fills Roland in on her plan to become human. Angela created the library in an effort to find "The Perfect Book" to make her human. She intends to do this by sending out invitations to certain guests so that upon their arrival she will kill them and trap them in books. So throughout the game you fight all these guests and learn about them. You may get attached to them only to realize that you have to fight them. And THIS. SUCKS. It gets even worse when you end up fighting recurring characters that appeared in Lobotomy Corporation. Ultimately after a bunch of fighting, floor realizations, and one final battle between Angela and Roland having been blinded by revenge, the two ultimately come to their senses realizing that their conquests for revenge caused so much harm to The City (which already has a whole slew of problems, but that's another can of worms.) So Angela ultimately releases the light built up in the Library, releasing everyone who has ever been trapped in a book, effectively giving them all a second chance. Now how did I feel after this? Initially ENRAGED... then relieved (woo hoo Myo gets to live! :D)

You're probably wondering what the point of any of this is. It all comes down to a question that I've been asking myself the past few months. How come I can accept everyone's death in Hotline Miami 2, but not the deaths of certain characters in Library of Ruina? Maybe it's that not everyone in Ruina dies, maybe I'm comparing apple to oranges here, or maybe it's something else. Regardless, what do you think? I'd like to hear your thoughts on this.

[gatekeeper-watchman]

Daily Devotionals for October 22, 2024

  Proverbs: God's Wisdom for Daily Living

Devotional Scripture:

Proverbs 26:24-26 (KJV): 24 He that hateth dissembleth with his lips, and layeth up deceit within him; 25 When he speaketh fair, believe him not: for there are seven abominations in his heart. 26 Whose hatred is covered by deceit, his wickedness shall be showed before the whole congregation. Proverbs 26:24-26 (AMP): 24 He who hates pretends with his lips but stores up deceit within himself. 25 When he speaks kindly, do not trust him, for seven abominations are in his heart. 26 Though his hatred covers itself with guile, his wickedness shall be shown openly before the assembly.

Thought for the Day

Verses 24-25 - Cunning people often practice guile; pretending to be friendly to those they hate to find a way to hurt them. There are many Biblical accounts of such deceit. Abel's murder probably is one of those, for Cain, after becoming angry, "...talked to Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him" (Genesis 4:8). Genesis 34 records the deceit enacted by Jacob's sons, who in vengeance for their sister Dinah, feigned friendship with Shechem and his family so that they could easily kill them.

We ought to be cautious in making new friends and should certainly beware if anyone who has previously hated us suddenly becomes friendly. Verse 25 says that there are seven abominations in the heart of one who poses as a friend. These abominations may be the ones listed in Proverbs 6:16-19: "These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren."

We will recall that Jesus said that he who hates anyone commits murder in his heart, and that he who looks at a woman with lust commits adultery in his heart. In the same way, these seven sins can be present in the hearts of those who pretend friendship. We should be careful to befriend only those of proven good character. This does not mean we are to shun people in the world, as we should witness to them through our godly actions, but we should not make friends with sinners.

Verse 26 - A cunning person may successfully conceal his hatred, but regardless of how many people he deceives, his wickedness will eventually be exposed. There may be a public exposure on earth or exposure before the church on Judgment Day, when Christ separates those who think themselves to be Christians from those who really are (Matthew 7:21-23). Sooner or later, sins concealed by guile will be revealed. "...Ye have sinned against the LORD: and be sure your sin will find you out" (Numbers 32:23b).

Prayer Devotional for the Day

Dear heavenly Father, we are grateful that You are a merciful God and we appreciate Your love toward us when we fail You. Lord, set us free from any trace of guile, and forgive those who have used treacherous words against us. Lord, warn us when people are trying to deceive us with smooth words so that we are not tricked into any agreements that are not of You. Have mercy on those whose sins are exposed before all and cause their shame to turn them back to You in repentance. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen. From: Steven P. Miller, @ParkermillerQ, gatekeeperwatchman.org  TM ‎Founder and Administrator of Gatekeeper-Watchman International Groups. #GWIG, #GWIN, #GWINGO.

[steele-soulmate]

Tattooed Wings, CHAPTER 393, Peter Steele & OFC, Soulmate AU

SUMMARY: Mary Claire Bradley meets her soulmate- literally- the famous Peter Steele of metal group Type O Negative. But will obstacles including trauma, stalkers, and toxic family members get in the way of their life?

WARNING: mentions of child rape (nothing graphic) PTSD, milk kink, soft smut, grinding, assault, fingering, hand jobs, blow jobs, 69, P in V sex, blood, noncon rape, blood, violence, death, vandalism, graffiti, attempted kidnapping, break-ins, wild animal attacks, terrorist attack (sabotage)

WORDS: 2205

“Hello, hello, hello, it’s so nice to meet everyone.”

“Hello doctor,” I greeted the child psychiatrist. It was now Tuesday, and the Ratajczyk family was at a small clinic located an hour north of the house, seeking the help from a well-reviewed doctor for seeking treatment for the traumatized kids.

 “Let’s go around and quickly introduce ourselves, shall we now?”

 “My name is Peter, and I’m the kids father,” Peter rumbled, his tall frame crammed into an uncomfortable chair for the hour long appointment. He had Baby Tommy on his chest, where the chubby little man was napping with a fistful of his daddy’s hair in his tiny balled up hand.

 “I’m Mary Claire Ratajczyk, and I’m the mother,” I introduced myself, already on pins and needles for some reason.

 “I’m Elizabeth Ratajczyk, but daddy calls me Bitty and the babies call me Lizz Lizz,” Elizabeth mumbled.

 “I’m Katie but mommy called me- what do you call me mommy?” Katie turned to face me.

 “Mo stór,” I chuckled. “Mo stór means my dear in Irish Gaelic.”

 “Baa bee Tom Tom,” Baby Tommy slurred out in his sleep, his little arm wrapped around his mini me toy. “Baa bee Tom Tom.”

 “Well, it’s nice to meet everyone. Alright, now can everyone tell me a little bit about themselves?”

 “I work in the music industry, and I love my family,” Peter volunteered, cooing down at his son on his chest.

 “I’m a stay at home mom for the most part, but I’m also an author and I’m playing the lead in the Ken Anderson musical, Wednesday Addams: A Dark New Spooktacular Broadway Musical,” I shrugged, leaning back and welcoming in Elizabeth to come in and sit on my lap.

 “I play the harp and I want to be a veterinarian when I grow up,” Elizabeth piped up.

 “I have Down’s Syndrome and I have trouble with math and numbers,” Katie frowned.

 “Now, am I correct in deducing that Katie is adopted?”

 “Yes, that’s correct,” I told her before going around and going into further detail about our relations to one another. “Baby Tommy is Peter’s and my child together, Elizabeth is from a past relationship of my husband and Katie was adopted into the Ratajczyk family as of recently.”

 “And little girl is my wife’s daughter that she carried as a surrogate for some friends of ours,” Peter shrugged. “Mary Claire gave birth to little girl while on the toilet.”

 “Oh my! That does sound rather exciting!”

 “Oh it was,” I muttered. “Trust me, it was plenty exciting. Little girl was originally due on September thirtieth, but the little diva just had to make an entrance and was born on my thirtieth birthday, nearly three and a half weeks early!”

 “Oh my! She does sound like a little diva! Can I ask what was the leadup to her birth?”

 “Well, I met Peter when I was twenty six weeks pregnant with little girl,” I explained. “I had asked him to hold off on proposing to me until after little girl’s birth, due to the New Father Law that Governor P. T. Grantsville passed, saying that regardless of who the father was, the husband was required to put his name down onto the birth certificate. I had said that I didn’t want to cause any legal issues down the road for little girl’s daddies. Anyway, our romance progressed very quickly and he ended up being the first to find me after I had given unexpected birth. He proposed to me while I was in the hospital, holding little girl, none of the less!”

 “You did ask me to propose to you when it was just the two of us,” my soulmate chuckled. “And I didn’t do that- I did it with little girl in the room as well. Oops.”

 “But I did say yes!” I laughed. “I said yes, and you hadn’t made me regret my answer, not in the two plus years we’ve known each other!”

 “Has it really been that long sweetheart?” Peter wondered, looking at me with hearts swimming in his eyes.

 “I do need to ask, how do you girls feel when your parents start acting like this?”

 “They’re setting the bar for when we start dating,” Elizabeth said bluntly. “They’re showing us that the world won’t stop turning just because they’re obviously still stuck in their honeymoon phase.”

 The doctor burst into unexpected laughter at Elizabeth’s deadpan words.

 “Well, I did say in more than one interview that men who are stoic and closed off to their feelings are displaying toxic masculinity,” Peter confessed with a little shrug. “And I have been open with my emotions in front of my family, friends, and fans alike.”

 “Oh wow. I do have one question, and forgive me for missing out on some kind of family story- but why do you call her little girl?”

 “Little girl’s mother and I were calling her ‘little girl’ even before knowing her name, and the nickname just stuck. I’ve been calling her by the affectionate nickname since meeting her mother when she was twenty six weeks pregnant and we only learned of her name- Vanessa Rose- after she was born. It’s simply a sweet little nickname that represents on how much that little girl was loved and wanted before she came into the world.” Peter pressed a kiss to his son’s forehead as the little baby shifted in place with a soft babble.

 “He is also her favorite person in the world,” I told the doctor, who was writing notes into a notebook. “She is his little girl and he is her Papa Pete.”

 “Papa Pete? Awwwwwwwwwww…”

 “You’re telling me!” I laughed. “Peter wears the babies in a back papoose whenever he’s playing at shows, and little girl has very quickly coined the term JeeJee Chris looks like me, a line from one of the songs that he and the boys play.”

 “The boys?”

 “My affectionate nickname for the other band members,” I explained. “Josh Silver on keyboard, Kenny Hickey on guitar, Johnny Kelly on drums and Slitzy the social media manager.”

 “Oh, that’s so cool! What instrument does Peter play?”

 “Bass and lead vocals,” Peter hummed, smiling down at Baby Tommy as he woke up gradually.

 “Now I see that the kids have bought their friends with them. Care to introduce them to me?”

 “Elle,” Elizabeth meeped, making her dollie wave her hand.

 “This is Jing!” Katie declared. “She was the first Christmas present that I ever got. Elizabeth also got her American Girl doll the Christmas before.”

 “Oh?”

 “Aria and Evie- they’re my oldest brother, Adam, his twin daughters, they got dolls too,” I explained. “They sometimes spend the night at our place.”

 “Wow, so a full house!”

 “And I love it.” Peter flipped Baby Tommy so that he was now on his back. “Can you say hello to the nice doctor now Baby Tommy?”

 “No!” gurgled Baby Tommy. “Fuk!”

 “NO NO NO!” Peter panicked. “WE DO NOT SAY THAT WORD BABY TOMMY- THAT WORD IS A BAD WORD!”

 The doctor broke out into sudden laughter yet again, totally taken aback by my husband’s words.

 “I am a bad daddy!” Peter bemoaned dramatically. “My babies are already cussing and they aren’t even potty trained yet!”

 “How old is little girl again?”

 “Well, I had told Peter that I wanted to wait at least two years to give my body to me to heal from the trauma of carrying and giving birth to little girl,” I confessed. “But Baby Tommy was conceived a little under two months after little girl’s birth. So they are Irish twins, technically speaking of which!”

 “Oh my goodness!”

 “And I’ve heard firm on wanting to wait until our next kid,” I told her with a firm voice. “This upcoming Valentine’s Day is when we will try for another Ratajczyk baby.”

 “Oh, fun!”

 “I’ve booked a weeklong getaway for the two of us,” Peter confessed sheepishly. “It’s going to be a very belated honeymoon for the two of us. I’m the only one who knows where we’re going, it is to be a surprise for my woman.”

 “Well I do hope you two have fun. And now onto the real meat of today’s session- the concert where the stage collapsed in on itself. Walk me through what happened.”

 “The band was partway through Christian Woman when I felt the stage starting to shift,” Peter recollected, welcoming the girls in under his arms as they came in seeking cuddles and love. “I dropped my bass, slung the babies over my chest and started back offstage when the stage collapsed in on itself,” Peter recalled with a far off look in his eyes. “The only thing on my mind was protecting the babies- no harm is to ever come to my babies. I needed a rod put into my leg to help with the break because of it, but I honestly wouldn’t change anything for their protection and safe being.”

 “We were so scared daddy,” Elizabeth whimpered, stuffing her face into his neck.

 “I don’t want to lose you,” Katie meeped. “You and mommy and Lizz Lizz and Elle and Baby Tommy and Jing are the best things that ever happened to me!”

 I hummed as I leaned into Elizabeth to join in on the hug.

 “I love each of you,” Peter whimpered in a watery tone of voice, and I knew that he was crying as I accepted the box of tissues that the doctor offered us.

 “Are you two seeing someone?”

 “Charlaine Thorn, we all see her over Zoom at least once a week,” I told her. “We all have a family session and then individual sessions. I try to schedule everything on the same day, but sometimes life bites me!”

 “I would like to have access to her notes, if you don’t mind.”

 “Girls?” I asked them. “Is it okay with you if the doctor looks at Charlie’s notes from your therapy session? You don’t have to answer right now.”

 “Okay,” they told me before folding themselves deep into me.

 “Peter and I both involve the kids in planning a lot of the day to day activities,” I explained as I kissed their foreheads. “What we’ll eat, where we’ll go, what movie we’ll watch after dinner… I find it best to stick to a routine for me.”

 “Are you by any chance autistic?”

 “No, I’m not,” I answered. “But Baby Tommy here was pre-diagnosed as autistic while he was in the hospital following fracturing his leg.”

 “Oh, yes, I saw that note. Are you hoping to get a positive diagnosis?”

 “If possible, yes,” I answered her. “Also, Katie doesn’t have an IEP for school and I would like to explore that option, if possible. She’s been doing pretty good in her mathematic studies, however, she has told me that she seeks out help from the school library.”

 “Ah. And does Elizabeth have any trouble in school?”

 “Not really, no,” she muttered, curling in on herself. “I enjoy school. I just really wish we wouldn’t have so many lock down drills.”

 “Oh? Can you touch on a bit more on that?”

 “I killed a man named Eric Dessmor.” My heart froze at the look on her face as her emotions just spilled out. “He was threatening my mommy, and Baby Tommy, and little girl. He’d already hurt daddy, and I had the chance, and I guess I just took it.”

 “Are you okay if we touched on this subject more in our individual sessions? I am very curious about this chapter of your life, Elizabeth.”

 “I guess,” she mumbled, looking up as Peter grunted before shifting again.

 “Do you want a pillow to sit on, Peter?”

 “Nah, I’m good,” he grunted before resettling him, lifting up Baby Tommy to kiss his forehead. “Yabba dabbo doo!”

 Baby Tommy scrunched his face up before-

 POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT

 “Oh man, Baby Tommy!” Katie squealed, jumping away with her hand clamped over Jing’s nose.

 “Mommy, Baby Tommy’s stinky man butt could be a weapon of mass destruction!” Elizabeth hacked as she opened the window and started fanning the bad air out.

 “Fuk!”

 “BABY TOMMY!”

  Mo stór, my dear, Irish Gaelic 

TAGLISTS ARE OPEN/ ASK BOX IS OPEN/ REQUESTS ARE OPEN/ PLOT BUNNIES ARE WELCOMED

 If you liked this, then please consider buying me a coffee HERE It only costs $3!!!

 PETER STEELE TAGLIST

@starchild0985​

[ccrystalfox]

@nyx-de-riva you are my angel I love these - I have chosen to take on both PARADISE and MOONLIGHT, and I tag WHOEVER WANTS TO DO THIS to give me some WIP content using the words ARROWHEAD or SKELETAL.

P - Perhaps, in time, he’ll weave for her a castle, the great fortress she deserves. For now this simple cave, with it’s simple bedroll and it’s warming flames, will be enough.

A - “Aria.” His voice, his entire body, is tense. “My entire fucking family is gone. All I have left is a demon controlling the shell of my cousin. House Dellamorte needs strength, protection, and the Venatori provide that. That’s all it ever was.”

R - “Rook,” he says, voice curling deliciously around the word. “So that’s how it will be, then. Wearing names that are not our own; carrying burdens that are not ours to bear.”

A - “And what do you consider to be your purpose, Fenesvir?” His voice curls around the syllables of her name, and a shiver runs down her spine.

D - “Darling,” Emmrich says, a smile curling at his lips, “I’m not sure we’ll be sharing that wine after all.”

I - “I need her gone,” he says. “I need her touch burned from my skin.” He kisses her neck, then, open mouthed and sloppy and desperate. “I thought of you the whole time.”

S - Solas takes her hand and squeezes it. “I told you I would find a way, vhenan. I could not allow myself to miss this. Regardless of the cost.”

E - Even as he pretends to protest, he pulls her in even tighter, kissing the skin exposed by a neckline too wide for her slender frame. “You are…quite the temptation.”

BUT THEN ALSO:

M - Maker, every muscle is as tight as a bowstring as it presses against her, and he kisses her with the desperation of a drowning man fighting for air.

O - “Oh no,” Emmrich says, “I wouldn’t want to interrupt such fine work.” He sits back in his chair, a smug smile on his face. “Do go on.”

O - Once Varric is out of earshot, she gestures grandly to the floor in front of her and says, “please, approach your Inquisitor for judgement.”

“My Inquisitor?” he smirks, padding silently towards her. “Shall I kneel for my Inquisitor, too?”

N - No wonder he’d been so eager to drink – short of a cold-water dousing, copious amounts of alcohol were the only thing that stood a chance of numbing that burning, gnawing sensation she knew only too well.

L - Lucanis laughs behind her, and even though she can’t see his face she just knows that he’s smirking as he says, “Are you proposing?”

I - “I seek only to empathise. But tell me – since you sought so intently to understand my past – am I what you expected?”

G - Getting everyone together for the wedding had, somehow, been even harder than getting them together for the end of the world.

H -  He cries, then, as her magic, her warmth, suffuses through his broken body.

T - The world seems to stop, the moment hanging in the air like a dust mote in the sun.

WIP Word game

Rules: you will be given a word. Then you share one sentence/excerpt from your WIP(s) that starts with each letter of your word.

I was given STEAL from @serensama and then I stole WASTELAND from @thedissonantverses.

“Should I be flattered?” Michael’s words were teasing and his green eyes glittered as he watched Solas.

The Fifth Talon was shorter, yet he glared up at Illario with a vitriol that sent ice through his veins.

Even working together, Illario still found it necessary to provoke him and second guess him throughout this mission.

A delicate hand reached out and pressed against Lucanis’ jawline, the warmth exquisite against his skin.

Lucanis’ usual long fuse had shortened immensely with Rook missing and all avenues being exhausted to find him.

“Who fucked up? Is that why you sent for me?” Illario couldn’t stop the playful grin from spreading over his face, crossing his arms over his chest and cocking an eyebrow.

As he slipped out the window, Illario had tugged him in for a chaste kiss, murmuring a quick ‘te amo’ against his mouth that Nyx returned with another kiss of his own.

She sought him out when Fenris left her, cried her eyes out in his clinic that reeked of rat droppings and bitter herbs.

There was only one thing marring the man’s face that made Solas feel a deep pang of regret.

Each mark was adorned with a multitude of question marks near it as if Viago couldn’t figure out exactly where he could be.

Lucanis hadn’t realized the true lengths he would go to for someone until he held Rook in his arms, felt his heart fluttering against his chest as they shared many a tender kiss.

Aveline would’ve been better, but she was busy with ‘guard-duty’ and never wanted to entertain Hawke and her killing sprees anymore.

Nyx wasn’t dead, he knew that for certain.

Don’t touch a Dellamorte.

Tagging: @ccrystalfox, @vorchagirl, & @woundedsoul12. AND YOU!!!! This is so much fun so if you see this, consider yourself tagged by yours truly and please tag me when you do it!!

If you choose to accept this mission, your word is PARADISE. Or if you want something more complicated, MOONLIGHT.

[mjlovescm]

15- Snowflakes, 🍋

Completed, 30 chapters, “Grey” Fezco O’Neill x black fem reader

Content- nsfw, edging, p in v sex, clit rubbing. 

"Oh shit." Rue said, walking into your room. "You actually cleaned it." she was talking about her room.

"I told you I would."

"Yea, I know, but I didn't like actually believe you."

She took a seat on your bed and grabbed the stuffed that Fezco had won you at the carnival.

"You talk to Fez since the raid?"

Her tone is casual, but there's a hint of concern in her voice.

"No, but the police didn't find anything." You said, voice matching hers.

She nods and presses her lips together, and you can tell that there's more Rue wants to say. She plays with the bear for a moment before turning to you.

"I know whatever you and Fez have is complicated and kinda fucked up because of me-."

"Rue, it's not your faul-" You quickly try to tell her, but she speaks over you.

"But it's not gonna like trigger me if you guys get back together." Rue half jokes, trying to ease the sudden seriousness of the conversation. "I know you miss him. Plus, I doubt Fezco has like moved on. He never stops talking about you."

She waves the bear in your face as a sign of his commitment to you, regardless of your official title. You roll your eyes playfully, but your lips hold an embarrassingly genuine smile and take the bear from her. You set it in your lap of and for some reason try to think of an argument against

what she was suggestion, but you didn't know why. Rue was quite literally giving you the green light, but still that instinct to put her first was there.

"I don't-" You pause, unsure of your words. "I don't wanna be a bad sister, Rue. I just- I wanna keep you safe." Your words were raw and you spoke sincerely.

"Thank you." She says your name with the kind of softness you haven't heard from her since you were little kids. "I am safe, and you'll always be a good sister for trying to keep me that way. You and Fezco mean a lot to me, and so does you being happy."

Rue gives you a smile before returning to her room. You sigh and throw your head back, lying flat on your bed with the big stuffed bear lying on you. Gripping like you do before you sleep, you take a breath and let the weight lift from your shoulders. The crossroads seemed to come together as one. And the path lead where you knew it always would.

As a senior, you felt sorta obligated to go to any and every school event, considering that it would be your last chance. At first, you didn't want to go, but truthfully, you couldn't miss the opportunity of seeing Jules and Rue dance together. You weren't completely sure how you felt about her or them together, or even if they were actually together. But Rue cared a lot about her, you just hoped that Jules felt the same way. Walking through the school gym behind them, you smiled as you took in the decorations.

After the three of you found an empty table, you were quickly joined by Cassie, Lexi, and Maddy And eventually Kat. You all greeted and Complimented each other, but there was a clear unspoken separation between you, Maddie and Kat. None of you had spoken since Cassie's McKay dilemma. In all honesty, you weren't really too focused on the two of them, or anyone at the dance for that matter. This year's winter formal would be your first without a date freshman and sophomore year Fezco took you and Junior he who shall not be named did. And yet you were only daydreaming about one of them. Your mind lingered around the idea of him being here. You laughed to yourself at the thought of dancing on him to some song that was definitely too inappropriate for highschoolers. But soon it turned into a sigh and a new thought appeared. Swaying back and forth to the slow music, pressing your head to his chest and just being held.

A notification flashes your phone, you blink and suddenly the fantasy is gone. It was Rue telling you her and Jules were leaving. If it was the beginning of summer you would have maybe freaked out and checked her location to follow her, but right now you didn't really feel the need to. You trusted Rue, and the fact that she told you meant she trusted you too. Things were different now better. You sent her a quick text before taking a big leap of faith and texting Fezco.

…

"Damn." Fezco comments as you get into his car. "Shit, I see you."

Your glossed lips grow into an ear to ear grin. It's almost embarrassing how giddy he already made you feel.

"Looking all for fine for the school dance, huh. You have fun? " He asks genuinely, his eyes more on you than the road ahead of him.

"Not really." You tell him honestly. "But Rue did, though."

"And why didn't you? I thought you like to dance." Fezco's voice is softer but still carries its natural husk.

"I do, but there was only one person I really wanted to dance with tonight."

Your response is not as ambiguous as you hoped it was, clearly it was pointed at Fezco. He frowns at the thought of him not being there to make your night better. He was occupied with Mouse, but regardless, he still felt bad. Picking up on this, you decided to steer the conversation in another direction.

"But the night ain't over yet, and I really don't feel like dancing no more."

You scan his body up and down, then smile. Before he answers, Fezco does the same.

"Well, what chu feel like doing."

He spoke lowly with a playful teasing tone matching your energy. You shrug and play coy for the rest of the ride. But by the time you got to Fezco's place, you quickly drop the act and make your intentions crystal clear.

"I've been thinkin' bout you all night." You confessed between breathless kisses to Fezco's neck.

He doesn't respond, and instead uses his hand on your jaw to guide your lips to his. He kisses you with a need, a hunger you hadn't felt from anyone except him. It shoots a heat through you, and you stumble a bit as you both walk to Fezco's room. He catches you with his free hand, hooking it around your waist and holding you close to him.

"I got you, baby." He whispers in your ear before pressing a kiss to your jaw, and you hold back a moan.

The two of you were all over each other giggling, laughing and stumbling on the way to Fezco's room. Your dress already unzipped and Fezco's large hands already under it. Gripping at your ass and thighs. Somehow you managed to make it to the room without alerting Ashtray and immediately your dress falls to the floor.

Pulling away from Fezco, you sat on his bed and gave him a moment to admire your body. It had been such a long time since you and him were like this. The last two times you had sex with him were more spur of the moment things fuelled admittedly by alcohol or weed, and that's not what you wanted you and Fezco to be anymore. It's not what you and Fezco ever were or would be.

"All night huh."

Fezco says with a smirk, his cheeks dusted with a darkening pink blush. His voice was deeper than it was in the car, rougher. Quickly, he discards his tracksuit and meets you on the bed.

"All … night." You repeat with a tilt of your head, running your hands over Fezco's now bare chest. "Longer than that, actually."

You take a moment to feel him, and he does the same. It feels different, almost new, but certainly far too familiar. It was like your mind had memorized every small detail of him, every freckle or beauty mark, every scar. All of him was carved on the inside of your mind in a place one but him could reach. You could blame it solely on memory, but you both knew it was more.

Brining his hand to your face Fezco cups your cheek leaning into his touch you give his palm a kiss. He smiles and moves the hand to the back of your neck before pulling you into a kiss. You gasp, but it's caught between each other's lips. With his free hand on your. Taking his free hand off your ass, Fezco hooks it under your thigh and pulls your body closer to his with a grunt, leaving your leg atop his parted from the other one.

A light sparks within you, and you whine as Fezco cups your pussy. He applies pressure gently to your clothed clit, and instinctively you grid into his hand, already desperate for more. The cool air hits your face and the warmth of Fezco's lips find a new home at the base of your neck.

"F-fez." You moaned.

"I know." He mumbles against your sensitive skin. "I know baby."

He intensified his movements, his lips traveling at the same pace as his palm. Slow deep circles matching the strong sucks and light bites send waves of pleasure crashing through your lower stomach. Shamelessly, you lose yourself in the moment and let the feeling grow stronger without any interruptions. Fezco chuckles lightly, and you laugh in response, but it cruelly twists into a sharp gasp and stuttered moan.

Pulling you closer to climax, Fezco whisper dirty little nothing's into your ear. Teasing and conflicting you.

"Just like that." He coaxed, falsely guiding you towards the edge while simultaneously keeping you from it. "Not yet. Not without me." He groaned.

Fezco knew edging was a challenge for you. Your body and mind went against each other, so ultimately the choice was his, and he knew this. But instead of reveling his choice early Fezco rather watch you try to choose of for yourself. Undecided, your hips squirm into and away from his touch, pushing and pulling yourself back and forth, stuck atop that mountain of pleasure and need. And even when you did make the decision to fall off the edge, Fezco throws you back down that hill. He pulls his hand away and the lack of him hits you quick instantly. Before you can react another feeling hits, completely taking over your body, with a harsh smack Fezco brings his hand down to your clit. It catches you off guard and your reaction is immediate, you gasp and attempt to close your legs, but Fezco keeps them open.

"All night." Fezco teases with a cocky smile. "I got you thinking bout me all night, huh. Sitting in that cute ass dress waiting for me."

He continues to work your overstimulated clit with his palm, and you struggle to respond with anything that isn't a broken moan. He laughs at the interesting sound that leaves you, and your heart swells. Your lips can't help but to grow into a hazy smile. Fezco's hand leaves where it was and gently trails up your body, the mood shift to something more peaceful. Hooking his index finger under your chin, he moves your head to better face him before Fezco kisses you.

"I been thinking bout you for a long time." He admits against your lips before away.

You sigh opening your eyes already you miss the feeling. Rolling your tongue over your bottom lip, you try to hold onto what's left of it. It was confusing, even though you were both present and both of your minds were clear. Even though you just being here ensured that things would go back to the way they were before. That fog of confusion and uncertainty still hung over you.

The snap of Fezco undoing your bra instantly clears your mind, and you're met with Fezco's gaze. Those beautiful light blue eyes of his you were sure you'd looked into at least a million times by now. But still every time felt brand new, this one especially. There was just something about looking at someone and seeing everything you could be and everything you were.

"A long time, huh." You joke.

Fezco's chuckles and smiles a toothy grin.

"Longer than that, actually."

He copies your previous words, and you laugh as your head falls onto his shoulder. Fezco wraps his arms around you and falls back on the bed before flipping you onto your back. Leaving him between your parted legs.

"I don't know why you laughing at me, you the one who said it first." He says, pressing his lips to your jaw.

"I'm not laughing at you." You tell him, still laughing but no at the feeling of Fezco's lips on your sensitive skin.

He continues to shower you with kisses as they grow less and less gentle. Fezco releases you from his arms and grips your hips with his hands. Giving them a generous squeeze before pulling them to his with a groan. You gasp and moan at the sudden feeling of Fezco's dick pressing into you. Truly, it caught you by surprise, you'd both been so focused on you that you hadn't realized Fezco was even hard. But now that you were aware, you pushed in, wrapping your legs around him before happily grinding and causing him to take a sharp inhale.

"You somethin' else." Fezco comments, and you smile, taking it as a compliment.

Swiftly, he unwraps your legs and takes your underwear off for you before simply pulling his to his knee's. A cold shiver ran through the both of you as Fezco teases your entrance with his tip. Collecting the result of his edging before stroking himself for a moment. You were both a bit worked up, so it all happened a bit quick. Fezco bottoms out with ease and soft moans, as always he gives you a second to get used to the feeling before moving. But after that he gave you no breaks Fezco picks up a quick pace and keeps his thrust deep shooting pleasure through both of your bodies with every rock of his hips.

"Damn, you feel good." Fezco whispers. "Fuck, I miss this."

His words only add to the complete ecstasy of the moment. God, you missed him, missed this. Every little and large detail. The light, easily ignorable or even unnoticeable feeling of Fezco's gold chain hitting your face as he fucks you. The tickle of his bread as his lips press to your ignited skin. You could feel release speeding towards you, Fezco pushing you closer and closer to the edge. His name spewed from your lips like a broken faucet. Flowing over and over nonstop.

"There you go, there you go." Fezco whimpers, encouraging you through your impending orgasm, knowing his would come less than a second later.

The familiar feeling grows strong and stronger. Wrapping your arms around him, you beg. Beg for him to right there with you. To keep you pinned under him like this, to stay like this forever if it meant never leaving this moment. Your orgasms came and went as they always do, yes you were left feeling satisfied but for some reason more than that you were left feeling exhausted physically, emotionally. And ironically even empty.

"Can we stay like this for a minute." You ask. Beg. Plead with Fezco, who you still hadn't let go. "Please."

He doesn't respond, he isn't sure how to. His instinct was to comfort you any way he could and staying in this position cradling your head and kissing sweet unspoken promises to your skin was at this moment the right way to do it. First your left cheek then right, then forehead and lastly your chin.

Balance and stability.

Fezco's small pink bag had really come in handy tonight. Sex with makeup on was never a good idea, and right now yours was hanging on by a very thin thread. Quickly you cleaned your face then washing and moisturizing it before meeting Fezco in his bed. You climbed into bed next to him, and sleepily he presses a kiss to your forehead. Fezco wraps his arms around you, humming at the contrasting feel of your body on his now and compared to just a few minutes ago. You both say goodnight and there's a beat of silence. Nothing but calm breaths and synchronized heart beats for the one sweet moment, but Fezco could tell there was still more left for you to say, and truthfully there was. You and Fezco were definitely something good, great even, but you weren't some fairy tale. Just because you kissed and "made up" didn't mean that everything could just be swept under the rug. You both wanted to move forward, and conversations like this was how you made it happen. But regardless of the importance or even need of the talk, you were still hesitant on having it.

"You gon tell me what's wrong, or we just gon lay here all night."

You sigh at Fezco's words, hoping he couldn't feel the tension you felt.

"I love you, Fez." You start off on a good foot, but no time getting straight to point. "And I promise that you mean the world to me, but Rue gets into some shit and I find out it has anything to do with you, I'm never gon speak to you again. And I'm definitely not letting you anywhere near Rue."

The words leave your mouth much easier than you thought they would, it wasn't much of a threat, but it was definitely a promise. You were redrawing a line that Fezco had already crossed in hopes of moving forward together. But more important, you were setting a boundary and letting him know what would happen if he broke it.

Next chapter ;)

All chapters :)

[kedreeva]

hi, me again. thank you so much for your reply and taking the time to explain☺️ I've seen some discourse about Eddie being a bad influence on Chrissie for selling her Special K and that he would get her off the straight and narrow or in general for selling drugs and I wanted to hear your take on it since I feel you have such deep understanding of his character. I don't consider him "problematic" or the likes, and I feel it doesn't take away from his character being the protector of the group. Most blogs talking about the two scenes with him and Chrissie are Edissie or anti Edissie and it's difficult to find blogs who would look at it in a realistic way that focuses on the characters with their complexities and not on their dynamic as romantic or not romantic☺️

Not my typical fare but okay!

The first thing I have to say up front is that I'm p o s i t i v e that both sides of this are discussing the issue as if the characters are real people who have real agency and could have done anything differently. They can't. They never could have, because they aren't real people and they have no agency. Regardless of ANYthing else, Chrissy went to Eddie because the plot needed Eddie to witness Chrissy die in order to drag him into the shenanigans, and she went home with him because the plot needed Eddie to be on the run because he's suspected of Chrissy's murder. That's it. EVERYTHING else is flavor text. There's no "he could make her worse" or "she could make him better" because they're both dead tools of a bad plot.

The second thing I want to make clear is that SALS is a backbone of fandom and should remain so. I don't care who ships what. I don't care. Also I don't care if someone considers a character "problematic." If you see shitheads calling characters problematic, just block them! It's very easy. One button click will VASTLY improve your experience of fandom. The people who call characters problematic are people I don't want to interact with like.... ever. Because they haven't learned critical thinking skills and we will not get along. "Problematic" is a purity wank word used by people who haven't figured out that things are not black and white and that media doesn't need to be morally pure to be good or to be liked. "Problematic" is a fucking meaningless word used by people who haven't grown up enough to just say "I don't like this character and that's a me problem."

BUT. If we want to talk about the flavor of the text, we shall do so on the condition that we all agree you can't argue taste. In this context, I use this to mean that I'm not going to argue anyone's headcanons, because that's literally all the above arguments you've listed are. He cannot lead her down any paths- they are both dead. We can extrapolate where things might have gone, we can have favored headcanons for how they might have interacted later on, we can have reasonable ideas of canon-divergence paths. But it's all headcanon. It's all supposition. It's taste, and I won't argue it, I'll just tell you what flavors I taste.

To answer your question(s) (finally), we have to look at what we know about Chrissy. Which is.... not a lot. She's a cheerleader with insecurities, particularly about her body (given the hallucinations of her mother's nagging her about her size). She is dating Jason (poor life choices imo, but also the choice that makes the most sense for her social status and societal pressures of the times). She's seeing a counselor who isn't able to help her (through no fault of the counselor's or Chrissy's). She's suffering physical and mental pains due to being hunted by Vecna, because Vecna is going after her for the same reasons he'll go after the others- socially/emotionally/communally, she's somehow isolated herself from other human connection that should have been able to support her and help her (the same way we see Max cutting herself off from her friends and family over her issues).

None of that has anything to do with Eddie. At all.

Eddie comes into the picture because Chrissy chooses ("chooses" but remember as a character she has no agency and cannot choose this, the writers chose this for her because they needed things to happen for the plot) to handle her problems not by talking to her friends or trying to connect with human beings, but by seeking drugs to escape. Where and how she acquires them actually has no bearing on Eddie's character. If Eddie hadn't been selling drugs, Chrissy still would have sought someone to buy them from. That's NOT Eddie's choice, that's Chrissy's choice. It is ALSO Chrissy's choice to ask him if he has anything stronger than what he initially offers.

This is not Eddie "leading" her anywhere. He seems genuinely surprised, a little suspicious, and kind of annoyed about doing the deal at all until he sees that she's clearly having some problems, at which point he switches to concerned. Before that, he offers her an out with "We don't have to do this" and saying all she has to do is say the word and he'll walk away. At this point, it's not his business why she wants the drugs or why she'd back out of the deal. To be clear, I've never sold drugs in my life, but I feel like it's the sort of business where you just don't ask questions about why someone wants them or what they're gonna do with them or anything. It's not your concern, and frankly I feel like the less you know probably the better.

And... well, to be perfectly honest? Outside of shipping goggles (which I will don at will), the two don't seem to really know each other at all. The last common ground they are cited to have was a middle school talent show, which was, what, like 6 years prior? 6 years when you're 18-20ish is like. a third of your life ago. They've been going to the same small high school where people clearly, like, Know Everyone, and the last instance either of them can recall an interaction was when Eddie was in middle school? I'm sorry but to me, that just doesn't speak to him having a lot of influential power over her. EVEN in a vulnerable state.

She's there because she asked to be there, she follows him home because she asked for more. She went to him, not the other way around.

And we absolutely CANNOT forget the extra factor that she was literally being hunted by a supernatural monster capable of warping her thoughts and feelings, who was using her shame and guilt against her to an extreme degree, causing her to hallucinate, giving her headaches and nightmares- the whole shebang. She's NOT in her right state of mind AND Eddie has NO WAY to know that. imo, neither one of them is at fault here, they are both victims of their own and each others' circumstances. It's unfortunate for them both, but it is what it is.

But it DOES leave a few questions that you may find relevant.

First: If she HAD been in her right state of mind (ie, no vecna), would she have gone to Eddie for drugs in the first place? No, probably not; according to Jason, who arguably does know her best USUALLY in TYPICAL times, she would not have touched the stuff. As much as I think Jason is a total douche, given the surprise from Eddie that Chrissy came to him in the first place, I actually believe Jason's belief that Chrissy wouldn't do that.

Second: If she HAD NOT come to Eddie first, would he have gone to her? Given that they have not interacted in the 6 years he'd been in HS, with several of them being the same years as her, and not interacted since he was in middle school... I'm gonna have to go with no, he wouldn't have. Why would he? They obviously run in completely separate social circles and he's left her alone the entire rest of the time.

Third: If Eddie had KNOWN about the reasons she was not in her right mind (ie, vecna), would he have tried to sell her drugs still? It's hard to say for sure, but given that he doesn't try to sell or give Max any drugs, or suggest that as a solution to anyone else in the group, I'm gonna go with No, he wouldn't have. Why would he? That's not gonna solve the problem and may, in fact, make the problems much worse. In normal times it wouldn't have solved the problems either but I feel like he probably has some sympathy for wanting to escape real life for a little while- considering he also plays DND, he seems familiar with the desire to escape real life for a little bit, any way he can.

And in fact, the most we see him interact with any substances outside of his stuff with Chrissy is a) to request beer from Nancy and b) to have his cigarette swatted away by Robin (which he reacts to with mild disbelief/annoyance and nothing else). He doesn't push anything on anyone else, he doesn't talk about it to anyone else. The drug dealing seems to be, at best, a side hustle for some cash under normal circumstances. Which, given his life circumstances, and the way he talks about his dad, it's probably not even something he is terribly invested in doing a lot of, but also may not see much of a choice if it's something easy that he's good at that helps him and his uncle get by. And, at least in my own mind, may be something he does to be less of a burden on Wayne (not that I think Wayne would ever think that, not that I think children are a burden on their caretakers, just that I can see where Eddie might see that for himself, or even that he just has things he wants, like his guitar or his DND supplies etc, that he may not want to ask Wayne for the money to buy).

In conclusion, I don't remember the question, but I hope this answers it.

[dialovers-translations]

December 8th: Two-year Blog Anniversary

I can barely believe it, but it has been two years since I made this blog and posted my first translation - the Haunted Dark Bridal Prologue - on Tumblr. I’m pretty sure I said this last year as well, but I genuinely never thought this blog would grow out to be as big as it is today.

While I did have to take more frequent hiatuses this year due to having a full-time job during most of the year (hooray!), I’m so glad that many people have stuck with me regardless, as well as for all of the new people who pressed the ‘follow’ button!

First up, the amount of posts and followers on this blog have pretty much doubled in one year! I thought things would slow down after the first year, but I’m glad that new people are still constantly joining the fandom and finding this blog useful!

6,397 posts (+3,232) 

4,566 followers (+ 2,312)

Let’s take a look at the translations stats, shall we? In these two years, I’ve translated...

40 complete game routes spread across 5 games (+23)

193 drama CDs (+73)

As well as...

9 mini drama’s

4 fanbooks 

24 short stories

62 yon-koma manga

I actually can’t quite remember how I counted the drama CDs when I made my stats last year. :p This time, I counted actual physical CDs and not individual tracks. For example, a lot of the early era tokutens (Don’t Stop the Jealousy/Blood & LoveSweat/etc.) feature six tracks (one for each S boy) on one CD. 

These are separate posts on my blog of course, so it could be that I counted these separately last year, but only counted it as one translated CD this year, hence why the number of drama CDs has gone up less compared to the game routes. 

Either way, I think having almost 200 drama CDs under my belt is still a pretty impressive feat, haha.

After two years of translating DL, I can safely say that I do not feel burnt out yet and I still look forward to consuming and translating new content every day. While I can’t predict the future and won’t make any long-term promises, I can assure you all that I will stay around as long as this blog brings me joy. uwu 

While the boys may not always be sweet little angels, I have met so many amazing people through this blog, it’s been a blessing.

Thank you all so much. This blog wouldn’t be what it is today if it wasn’t for you guys and the immense support you’ve showed. 

[taestefully-in-luv]

Always You | JJK (Six)

Summary: you and Jungkook have been best friends since freshmen year of college, there’s a lot of unsaid feelings and tension but neither make a move. what happens when his friend Taehyung (also your crush) needs a fake girlfriend?

Pairing: Jungkook x Female reader, slight Taehyung x Reader

Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slight slow burn, roommate au, college au, SMUT (starting ch2), fluff, angst (in later chapters) slight crack, lots of drama

Word Count: 18.3k

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, sexual tension (!!!), mention of drugs, mention of threesomes, mention of erection, grinding in sleep, car sex, riding, heated make out, hickeys, light hair pulling, light spanking

Notes: Not entirely sure how I feel about this chapter to be honest but here it is regardless! I hope you guys enjoy it:) ALSO those teaser pics from today!!! Anyway feel free to send an ask if you want to be added to the taglist or just want to chat about the story:)

Taglist: @mooniyooni @thisartemisnevermisses @giadalin @kookiebunny097 @cosmosjk @moonchild1 @just-jeon @anpanman-sonyeondan @starlight-night0 @yessii-i @apollukee @mikasaredscarf1 @kaye-rosales @bunnyjeonjk @dyriddle @seagulljk @hass-mich-los @peachy-skz0325 @wonusbitch @not-your-lion @flowersgirl02 @justinetingball @fiantomartell

© taestefully-in-luv

Previous---Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The week drags on slowly and horribly, Monday you had a raging migraine that just wouldn’t go away. Tuesday you were late for your job and were scolded for it. Wednesday you spilled your black coffee all over your white blouse. And today, Thursday, you started your period. This week could not get any worse. Oh wait, yes it can—you just remembered you promised Jungkook you would attend his get together.

You hope things won’t be awkward with Nick…Jungkook has assured you that things are cool and Nick isn’t mad about what happened.

Jungkook 5:15pm

Hey :) so, I was thinking you could bring that 16% wine we always drink?

Jungkook 5:50pm

It starts at 7 but you can come earlier if you want

Jungkook 6:00pm

Or you don’t have to,..it was just a suggestion.

Y/N 6:02pm

I’ll be there at 7.

Jungkook 6:02pm

Ok cool :) I can’t wait to hang out.

You click your phone off, groaning into your pillow. Your cramps are fucking killer and you want to die. You look to your nightstand to see your water and pain killers, you reach for them and swallow them down. Hopefully this helps.

You decide to start getting ready, you settle on some jeans and your favorite striped sweater. Like, who are you trying to impress?

You hear your phone buzzing from your bed and you hurry to answer it.

“Hello?”

“I’m outside whore.”

“Kay be out in a sec.”

You hang up your phone, stuffing it in your back pocket. You gather your things and do one last look in the mirror—casual but cute.

“Holly! They’re here!”

You two rush down to the parking lot where Jimin is parked, Trina and Holly sit in the backseat while you occupy the passenger seat.

“You ready?” Jimin smirks.

~~~~~~

Before you know it, Jimin is knocking on Jungkook and Nick’s front door.

“By the way, I still can’t believe you didn’t who nick was…”

“I never come over here! Jungkook usually comes to mine…” Jimin answers in pout.

The door swings open and there stands Nick, in all his hot glory.

“Hey Nick…” you say, avoiding eye contact but Nick is chipper as can be as he nods at you and everyone else.

“Hey Jungkook! y/n is here!” he calls behind him.

“I mean, we’re here too but go off I guess.” Jimin’s mutters from beside you.

The four of you walk into the apartment, Jungkook still nowhere to be seen.

The small place is filled with maybe 5 other people, you are quick to nod at everyone in greeting. You catch Jungkook leaving his bedroom with Vanessa following closely behind him, you can’t help but roll your eyes. Jungkook finds you staring at him and he grins, walking closer to you and your friends.

“y/n!” he goes in for a quick, unexpected hug.

“Hi.”

“Jimin!” he hugs Jimin too, “and Hey Tr—”

“Go fuck yourself.”

“Yup, nice to see you too Trina.” Jungkook smiles anyway, “And you must be Holly?” he extends his hand out for her to shake. She takes it while smiling awkwardly.

“I’m glad you guys came!” Jungkook scratches the back of his head, “This is uh, this is Vanessa.” He introduces the girl standing beside him.

Vanessa is pretty…really pretty actually. She has short black hair, it looks soft and sleek. She is taller than you, her height almost rivaling Jungkook’s. But she is still smaller than him.

“Hi everyone.” She says flatly.

She doesn’t look interested in meeting any of you, or interested in any of the people here. She grabs her phone from her bag and starts scrolling through it as Jimin introduces everyone.

“And this is y/n.” he finally finishes, gesturing towards you.

At this, Vanessa looks up from her phone to eye you up and down, “Right.” Is all she says, then her eyes are back on her screen.

Wow, quite the charmer. You look at Jungkook whose eyes are already on you, and he chuckles nervously.

“Well, did you bring that wine?” he asks you.

You pull it from the bag you are holding and hand it to him, “Here…” his hand goes to reach it and his fingers brush against yours and you shudder.

“Umm, I’ll pour us all a glass.” He takes the bottle, faces Vanessa and heads toward the kitchen while Vanessa follows him. You watch as they disappear into the other room and you release a breath.

“That’s the bitch he’s fucking?” Trina asks bluntly, one eyebrow raised in question. “She didn’t even look at us!”

“Let’s be nice,” Holly says.

“Fucking fine.” Trina rolls her eyes. Hard.

You can’t help but agree though, Vanessa seems…you don’t know, but why would Jungkook like her? She seems rude, and uninterested in literally everything.

“You’re never going to get over her like this, you know?” Vanessa continues to look at her screen as she speaks to Jungkook. “You’re just hurting yourself.” Her eyes dart towards her glass being poured, “I don’t even like this wine, I told you I wanted the other one.”

“It’s y/n’s favorite.” He exhales deeply as he pours more glasses.

“Oh right, so is this how it’s going to be?” Vanessa clicks her phone off and slides it in her purse, “Now that she’s back in your life everything is going to be about her?”

“No, Vanessa…” he looks up from the bottle, “We’re still…” he gestures between their bodies.

“Right.” She says, tapping her fingers against the counter, “Totally.”

“So what game shall we play?” Jungkook sits down between you and Vanessa, his body vibrating in excitement. (How you and Vanessa ended up sitting next to each other in the first place? You don’t know. But thankfully Jungkook saves the day.)

“How bout never have I ever!” Jimin winks at everyone, “It’s always a good way to get to know new people.”

“Fine.” Trina says with a smirk

“Yeah, I’m down!” Nick says, high fiving his same bro who believes in aliens.

Various ‘yes’s are heard around the room and you nod your head too.

“If you’ve done it, you drink, that’s the rule.” Jimin states “I’ll go first. Never have I ever done coke.”

A few people you aren’t well acquainted with groan and take a sip of their drinks, Jimin looks at you as he passes his turn.

“Uh,” you look up at the ceiling, “Never have I ever had a threesome.”

You notice every single one of your friends taking a drink, Jungkook included. Well, you shouldn’t be surprised. Damn, even Holly? Are you just lame?

Jungkook goes next, “Never have I ever ate ass!” Jimin raises his glass and he take a gulp.

Everyone’s laughing and having a good time, the game continues on for several rounds, everyone drinking at different times but everyone collectively getting drunker.

The turn is back on you…”Never have I ever cheated on a college exam.”

“Fucking liar!” Jungkook snickers beside you, “You copied like half my answers in bio!”

“Oh true.” You say nonchalantly, “Never mind. Jungkook your turn.”

Jungkook thinks for a few moments, “Never have I ever not made a girl come.” He smirks.

“Okay ladies man, we get it, fucking whore.” Jimin sticks his tongue out.

Next is Vanessa’s turn, she tilts her head side to side thinking on what she wants to say.

“Never have I ever had sex with my best friend.” She says, her voice smooth and silky.

You choke on your spit when you process her words, your head snaps to Jungkook’s. He’s already looking at you, debating if he should drink—especially in front of all your friends.

He watches in horror as you begin to raise the glass to your lips, your eyes never leaving his. He raises his own glass to his mouth and takes a sip as you do the same and the room goes quiet.

Jimin watches the two of you, his eyes widening in shock as he puts two and two together.

“Wait wait wait.” Trina speaks up, “Did you two…?” she looks between you two before her eyes settle on you, “When?”

“Yeah, when?” Jimin asks quietly, sounding betrayed.

“Can we not do this right now?” you plead.

Jungkook is nodding his head in agreeance, “Yeah guys….this is a bit…” he glances over at Vanessa who is quietly sipping her wine, she blinks at Jungkook a few times before taking another sip.

“So you two have fucked!” Nick says, totally oblivious. Fucking Nick.

“It was a really long time ago, it meant nothing…” you save while striking a chord in Jungkook, he clenches his jaw. “Well, it meant nothing for only some of us,” he grits out. You feel a pang in your chest. What does he mean by that?

“Okay, would if we all take a moment to relax…” Holly intervenes. She stands up, taking her glass and Trina’s glass to the kitchen.

“It’s getting late anyway.” You stand too, you look at Trina and Jimin with apologetic eyes and nod towards the door, “Let’s get going.”

“Wait y/n,” Jungkook stands up as well, grabbing on to your arm. “Can we talk for a moment?” he motions towards the balcony. “Please.”

You roll your eyes but go along with it, you follow him out the back on to the balcony. It’s a small space, forcing you to stand somewhat close to Jungkook.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that last thing…” he begins, “You were just trying to save the conversation….right?”

“Right.” You agree. You fold your arms over your chest, you want this day to be over with.

“Other than this last bit…I had a lot of fun…you know…everyone hanging out. It was nice,” Jungkook shakes his head a bit, his hair falling all over his face, covering his big doe eyes. You can’t help but reach up and tuck some wild strands away so you could see him properly.

He freezes when you do that.

“Oh sorry…habit.”

“No no its okay, I was just surprised is all.” He smiles, and you feel your heart glow.

“Vanessa seems…” you don’t know why you bring her up right now but you do.

“Nice.”

Jungkook bites down on his bottom lip, looking at you with serious eyes,

“You don’t like her.”

He chuckles lightly, “I still know when you’re lying.”

“Sorry,” you laugh into your palm, “She just doesn’t seem all that interested in anyone.”

“Including me?”

“Kind of…sorry.” You look up at him, “It’s none of my business.”

“Well, you’re my friend so I value your opinion.”

“Okay then…I just can’t seem to find what you might like about her…” Your honest nature isn’t something Jungkook isn’t use to, but he still feels defensive.

“Well, you don’t know her.”

“Do you?”

He opens his mouth to answer but falls short of a response. He stuffs his hands into his front pockets of his jeans and lets out a small groan.

“Can we go one day without fighting?” he whispers.

“Sorry.” You offer a half ass apology. “Jimin and the rest are probably waiting for me so—”

“Wait…” he grabs your wrist and pulls you closer to him, “Can I hug you? Since I have to ask now.”

“If I say no?”

“Then I will probably cry myself to sleep.”

“Well, we can’t have that can we?”

“So that’s a yes?”

You look up into Jungkook’s endearing eyes and nod your head yes, he doesn’t waste another second before he’s wrapping his arms around you and engulfing you in a sweet embrace. He smells like his laundry detergent and his natural scent, the combo making you dizzy—as usual. You finally return the hug, your own arms circling around his waist. You feel him inhale you and you can’t help but do the same…you missed this. You missed his touch—his warmth. You missed him.

“I missed you too.”

Oh, did you say that out loud?

“Yes you did.” He chuckles into your neck. his hot breath hitting your skin making you shudder.

“I missed you so much.” He whispers into your hair, his words almost getting lost in your locks.

“Then why did you replace me so quickly?” you whisper into his chest, you feel his heart beat faster than before.

“I don’t like her, Jungkook.” You admit.

“Please just give her a chance…for me, please.” He exhales into your neck before nuzzling further.

“Do you like her?” you brace yourself for the answer, you grip on to his shirt, bunching up the material in your hands.

“Yes.” He tightens his hold on you, “but, it’s complicated.”

You pull back from him, “Wait…you really do like her? Oh…” you drop your arms from his body.

“y/n…This is hard for me. She’s the only thing distracting me from…” he gulps, “Things.”

You take a step back, confused.

“Things?” you scoff, “What aren’t you telling me Jungkook?”

“Don’t worry about it.” He whispers, his hands still rest on your waist. He pulls you closer again, “I’m working on it.” He looks into your eyes and you can’t help but stare at his lips as he licks them.

“How hard are you working on it?” you wrap your hands around his middle again, stepping closer to him.

“I don’t…know…” he breathes out erratically. His eye becoming half lidded as he stares down at you, “I….dont …know….” He repeats in a daze.

Your hands travel up his back until your grabbing on to his hair, using this to tilt his head down gently.

“You’ll tell me eventually, won’t you?” you angle your head upwards, he slowly begins to lean down, his eyes shutting as he leans in closer and closer. You part your lips slightly waiting in anticipation for his lips to find yours.

“You’re so fucking unfair…” You feel Jungkook’s whisper hit your lips as he begins closing the distance.

Then the door fucking opens, you and Jungkook jumping apart at the sudden intrusion.

“y/n are you ready?” Jimin looks between you two, he eyes you suspiciously before looking at you expectantly.

“Right, yeah.” You look at Jungkook who is as red as a fucking cherry. He scratches his head with one hand and uses to the other to usher you inside. Were you and Jungkook about to…? Holy shit. What has gotten into you?

Before you go inside you turn around to face him, “Maybe we can talk about this later?”

“Uh, maybe.” Jungkook looks at the floor as you speak to him, he sways from one foot to another. “See you later y/n.”

~~~~

“Fucking spill it.” Trina spits out once you four are in the car. She aggressively puts on her seatbelt as Jimin turns on the car but refuses to drive anywhere until you talk.

“Can this wait til we’re home?” you whine, putting on your own seatbelt.

“I agree with y/n, Trina. Let’s wait…” Holly’s troubled smile begs Jimin to drive you all home back to your place.

Jimin is silent as he puts the car in reverse and begins driving. Just complete silence coming from him, which is more worrisome than him yelling at you.

The drive is mostly quiet, you can tell Trina is really forcing herself to keep it down while Holly has a death grip on her thigh. You want to laugh at their dynamic but you don’t think anyone is in the mood to laugh right now.

Once home, you drag out one of the chairs at the breakfast table and plop down, taking a seat. Your three friends follow your lead, each taking a seat at the table.

“Guys…do we really have to do this…?” you fold your hands out in front of you on top of the table.

“If it’s really that hard to talk about, no. But I would like it if we did…” Trina tries to say calmly.

You chew on your lips—your usual bad habit as you think. Do you tell them everything? About that night? Your true intentions? It’s silent for a while until Jimin quietly clears his throat.

“Neither of you told me…my best friends…” he stares down at the table top.

“When?” he whispers.

You stare at Jimin, who sits across from you and you feel your heart break just a bit. He looks and sounds so betrayed.

“Freshmen year. New Year’s Eve party.” You finally say.

Trina’s eyes expand, realization hitting her.

“Wait wait wait.” She throws her hands up, “New Year’s Eve party? The night you were going to….?”

You only nod your head yes, feeling fucking embarrassed.

“Going to what?” Jimin asks.

“Nothing!” You and Trina say at the same time.

“Really guys?” Jimin looks down at his hands, a frown taking over his face. “Is that how we’re going to be?”

You do feel bad but are you ready for Jimin to know? One look at his sad face and you guess the answer is yes.

“That night I was going to…” you begin, the memory of that night coming back to you.

Tonight is the night. It’s New Year’s Eve and you’re going to do it. Maybe it’s this glass of wine that’s giving you courage—liquid courage—but you feel like tonight is a good as any.

Jungkook promised you no girls tonight…that tonight is between two best friends with no interruptions. And you believe him, of course. In the months you have known Jungkook he has always kept his word to you.

You lean back in your rolling chair, bringing the glass of wine to your lips and you take a generous sip…yes, tonight you are going to do it. You are going to confess to Jungkook.

“What’s got you so nervous tonight?” Trina asks as she applies her dark lipstick to her thick lips. Trina and you are getting ready in your dorm for the long awaited New Year’s Eve party and she can tell something is weird about you. You keep rubbing your sweaty hands down your black skirt, you keep patting your sweaty forehead dry with one of your t shirts, you keep looking in the mirror and taking much needed deep breaths. You are obvious. So fucking obvious.

“I could be wrong but it looks like you’re worried about a dead body you’re trying to hide…” Trina’s hand stops mid lipstick application as she glances at you, “bitch, you know I will help you.”

You can’t help but laugh, easing some of the nerves.

“No, nothing like that…” you know Trina knows. She’s had her assumptions but she never lets the subject linger…she basically is a bad bitch who minds her business…unlike someone you know—Jimin. Who ALWAYS has some shit to say about you and Jungkook, he on the other hand is a messy bitch who does NOT mind his business.

“It’s about…” you struggle to complete your sentence as you gulp down more wine.

“You don’t have to say…I know. Just know that no matter what, I am on your side.” Trina goes back to applying another layer of lipstick, “Especially if you have to hide a body.”

“Sometimes I wonder about you.” You say flatly.

Trina only laughs that loud ass laugh you love so much. “You wonder about me?” she winks.

It’s your turn to apply your own lipstick to your lips, a nice soothing red when you receive a text from Jimin that he and Jungkook are on their way to the party.

“I hope Stephanie is going to be there tonight…” Trina mumbles underneath her breath, “if not, this outfit is a complete waste” You giggle as you continue to apply your lipstick. You check your phone again to see another text that they’re there,

“Shit, we gotta get going!” You drop your lipstick in your bag and a few other essentials.

Trina raises a brow at you, “Are you trying to rush me?” she looks amused. “You can’t rush perfection.” she threads her fingers through her bouncy hair, “Lucky for you, I am done! And also, always perfect.”

“Yes yes miss perfect, we get it. Let’s go!”

The party is without a doubt: booming. The amount of decorations and alcohol and people is impressive. This is surely about to be a party worth remembering—and you hope you do. You decide to only sip a few beers—wanting to stay at least a little bit sober when you confess and you hope Jungkook isn’t completely shit faced either. Speaking of, where is he? Your eyes scan the crowd, you see Jimin surrounded by a group of people, laughing his head off. You see Trina grinding on some girl…maybe Stephanie? And you see Jungkook on the other side of the living room, sipping on his drink while some girl talks to him. But his eyes are on you. You crack an awkward smile and he turns to face the girl that is trying so hard to talk to him. He says a few words to her and is quickly leaving her side, he is now walking towards you. You can’t help but feel nervous as he approaches you…tonight’s the night, you keep reminding yourself.

You never not liked Jungkook…If you weren’t so shy maybe you would have slept with him the first night you met him… but instead you became friends and that was without a doubt the best thing that could of happened for you two. But in the back of your mind you always wanted more. Something always tugged at your hands, begging you and pulling you in the direction of more with Jungkook. But he seems fine with the friendship…so much so that you thought that maybe pursuing him would be best if you pushed it to the side.

Unfortunately for you, you just couldn’t take it anymore. Your feelings so overwhelming that you got pushed the edge. You’re about to fall off the Jungkook cliff so you decide instead of falling against your will, you will control the situation—parachute and all, you are ready the fall. You’re going to confess.

“What’s with your face?” Jungkook finally stands in front of you, his hands pushed into the front pocket of his jeans.

You take a moment to take in Jungkook’s appearance…his tight jeans, his black combat boots and a white t shirt, with his coat draped over his left arm. He looks good. Really good. You crumble at the sight.

“Who’s the girl?” you catch yourself asking. It isn’t odd for you to pry into his life like this so the words don’t taste weird leaving your mouth…but, only you know you’re only asking because the tinge of jealousy you feel.

“Dunno.” He shrugs his shoulders, “I think I have a class with her.”

“Oh nice.” You also shrug, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. “Shall we dance?” you nod your head towards the center of the living room where bodies shamelessly dry hump other bodies. You think you’ve seen Jimin grind on at least 10 different people tonight.

“Sure.” He smiles, his arm extends out for you to lead the way.

Somehow you went from sipping on a couple beers to taking shots with none other than your best friend. The two of you go from the living rooms dance floor to the kitchen for hours. The world becomes friendlier and a little blurrier but it’s nothing you can’t handle. You remind yourself to slow down, because you want to at least remember telling Jungkook your feelings for him and you want to remember his response. But wait—would if he rejects you? The thought lingers in your mind, so what do you do? You take another shot.

The air that surrounds the dance floor is different than the rest of the house…its hot, sweaty and downright dangerous. You and Jungkook find yourself dancing along with Trina and Jimin at some point, the 4 of you spinning around, jumping and hugging one another. Laughter filling the air, everything is perfect.

You feel Jungkook’s tatted fingers grip your waist as you dance on him, his fingers never find themselves going lower. And you wish they did.

“Guys! Guys!” You hear Jimin’s voice from a distance, but quickly growing closer.

Jimin stands next to the two of you as you guys are in your own world, the alcohol running through your veins, the music thumping loudly in your ears, Jungkook’s hands holding on to you tightly. Your bodies move together to the beat of the music, Jungkook’s head innocently falling into the crook of your neck. You innocently grinding your ass into his crotch.

All very innocent.

“Wow, just fuck already.” Jimin rolls his eyes playfully, “GUYS!”

“What?!” you and Jungkook yell back in unison, not having liked being interrupted.

An evil smirk makes its way on Jimin’s face, “Upstairs. Let’s go! Truth or dare, come on!”

Truth or dare? What are you guys, 12? You giggle into your hand, nodding your head approvingly. It should be fun. You follow Jimin’s lead up the stairs, you turn around to see Jungkook right after you. You reach for his hand, you two interlocking fingers as you stumble up the stairs trying to keep each other stable. The two of you giggle for no apparent reason as you make your way up, making Jimin roll his eyes again.

You’re about to enter the room when Jungkook stops just outside the door.

“Wait…Jimin?” Jungkook nibbles on his lips, “Can I talk to you for a sec?”

You and Jimin share a concerned look before you announce your departure.

“I’ll see you guys inside.” You smile, letting go of Jungkook’s hand.

“What’s up man?”

“Dare me to kiss y/n.” Jungkook states confidently. Jimin tilts his head in confusion then amusement.

“Why don’t you just kiss her without my help, hm?” Jimin teases, ruffling the younger ones hair. “But sure, why not?”

“Thanks, I owe you.”

“Oh you sure do.” Jimin winks, “Now come on.”

You’re sitting in a circle in the room with about 8 other people, some you’ve barely talked to, others you would consider friends. Jungkook and Jimin walk into the room and you notice Jungkook’s face is a soft pink…probably from the alcohol. Jungkook finds a spot on the floor next to you and he smiles gently in your direction, giving you the heads up that everything is okay. You just nod your head and smile back. The room is loud with chatter and laughter until Jimin stands up and clanks a wine glass with a spoon—ever the dramatic.

“Okay guys, we all know why we are here—truth or dare time!” He sits down in his spot, crossing his legs in front of him, “First, let’s start with Trina.”

“Of course.” Trina says flatly.

“Truth or dare?” Jimin smirks.

“Dare, obviously” she looks around the room, winking at several people.

“Okay,” Jimin pretends to think for a few moments, like he doesn’t already know what he’s going to say. “Dare you to flash your tits to everyone.”

“Oh? Is that all?” Trina quickly lifts her shirt up, revealing her bare breasts to the room. You and Jungkook cackle as you watch the scene unfold.

“Okay Hobi…” Trina nods towards to the bright smiling boy, “Truth or dare?”

“Dare!” he grins with all his teeth, no doubt excited “Okay, I dare you to take 3 shots in a row.”

The truths and dares continue on like this for quite a while. You being lame chose truth at first and had to admit when the last time you masturbated—which was 10 minutes before Trina arrived to your dorm. Jungkook had to spank some guys ass and Jimin had to make out with like, 3 different people. Which he wasn’t complaining. All was well…until it was Jimin’s turn again.

“Okay, Jungkook. Truth or dare?” Jimin smiles knowingly with an evil glint in his eye.

“Dare.” Jungkook says with a cocky smile.

“I dare you to kiss y/n.”

You immediately choke on your drink as you process his words. Jungkook? Kiss YOU? In front of everyone?

Everyone in the room starts whooping and hollering at the idea, but you shake your hands in front of you in denial.

“No, no. We can’t do that!” you slur, your eyes squeezing shut. This isn’t how things are supposed to happen! You need to confess first!

You miss the way Jungkook’s face falls as he looks between you and Jimin. Jimin looks at Jungkook with pity and mouths a ‘sorry’.

“Yeah, no way in hell am I kissing her.” Okay, maybe he didn’t have to sound so harsh. But he feels a bit rejected at the moment and needs to be on your same page.

“Uh, yeah.” You feel a pang in your chest. Oh. Jungkook doesn’t want to kiss you, not even as a dare.

“That’s literally the last thing I want to do!” You hear him cackle from beside you, “Someone else can do the honors!” he continues to bark loudly, laughter filling the room.

Jimin frowns, looking at Jungkook with knowing eyes as he clasps his hands together. “Fine. Kiss Amber instead.”

“That I can do.” Jungkook smirks, looking across the room to a blushing Amber.

Things are starting to feel like they are crumbling…you shouldn’t even confess anymore, right? Jungkook will clearly reject you. The thought makes you want to cry like a stupid ass baby.

“I’m gonna get something more to drink.” You say to no one in particular as you stand to your feet. Jimin watches you leave the room with sad eyes, then his eyes go to Jungkook who looks panicked.

You open the door and go to close it behind you when you feel it being pushed open again. Jungkook.

You ignore him the whole way down the stairs but he continues to silently follow you.

The party is still going hard when you make your way downstairs again, you weave through the crowd to get to the kitchen to fetch yourself another beer.

“y/n! Wait up!” you hear Jungkook call from behind you but you decide to ignore him.

You find the cooler of beers and grab yourself one, the chilling beer freezing against your fingertips. You crack it open and begin chugging it back, enjoying the carbonation that sizzled down your throat.

“Slow down Lightning McQueen.” Jungkook chuckles next to you.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” you don’t mean to snap, but you do. You feel tired, just tired.

“What’s with you?” he quirks a brow, looking adorable while doing so.

“What are you doing here?” you snap again, “Shouldn’t you be like, making out with Selena or whatever her name is.”

Jungkook tilts his head to the side, his doe eyes big and bright, “Selena? Oh! You mean Amber? Nah, I saw you leaving so I came with you.” He smiles, “I told you no girls tonight. I am spending new year with you.”

You blink at him in surprise, but you shouldn’t be surprised. Jungkook always keeps his word to you.

It makes the world crumble a little more, he said no girls. And you guess that includes you. Tonight was supposed to be the night, but you got your answers. Jungkook doesn’t feel the same.

“Want to go outside?” he asks, head nodding towards the back door.

“It’s cold, Jungkook!”

“I’ll keep you warm.” He winks then transitions into a soft smile, “Promise.”

You feel your heart begin to race but you order yourself to calm down…you aren’t confessing tonight, and that’s final.

The two of you walk outside, it was pretty damn cold, your skirt and crop top barely doing enough to keep you warm.

“Here.” Jungkook is shrugging off his jacket and handing it you.

“Thanks” you shiver, slipping on the warm, fuzzy coat. “Will you be fine?” you question.

“Only if you come snuggle with me.”

“Do these lines work on most girls?”

“Usually all of them.” He smirks, rubbing his hands together for warmth.

You giggle and move closer to him, wrapping your arms around his middle. Even though it’s like 20 degrees outside, Jungkook is unbelievably warm. You have to remain normal, like your heart isn’t breaking with every word or soft touch he offers you.

Jungkook pulls his phone out to check the time, huffing when he sees there’s still a few more minutes until midnight

“So how many girls did you have to reject tonight?” You ask with a snicker. Jungkook raises a brow in question, “Like, ‘oohh Jungkook please be my new year’s kiss??’ ya know, shit like that.” You mock. It’s not like you actually want to know the answer but you can’t help but be curious.

“Oh that? No girls lining up tonight.”

“Why’s that? You shut em all down early?”

Jungkook sways back and forth, your body clinging on to his, “I think they all see me with you tonight and are laying off.”

You scoff at his words, “Right, because I have stopped them before.” You roll your eyes.

“Ha, you never know.” Jungkook takes another look at his phone, “Oh less than a minute.” He says with the shrug of his broad shoulders.

“Wanna be my kiss Jeon?” the words slip out of your mouth almost killing you in the process. You can’t believe you just asked that! You literally just decided you’re giving up so why the hell would you offer him your lips

“Just kidding, you would rather have someone else kiss me, right?” you huff, saving yourself but god, what you wouldn’t give to feel his lips on yours just one time. For him to be yours…just one time.

Jungkook chokes on his spit as he tries to swallow down your words, “W-What?”

“Nothing.”

Jungkook obviously heard you loud and clear. Did you actually want to be kissed by him, he thinks.

5

4

3

2

1

Cheers of your classmates erupt besides you and you cannot help but smile at everyone’s happiness. You see many of them sharing hugs and kisses and you feel a pang of jealousy but you are mostly feeling joy.

“It’s nice right? Every—”

You didn’t get to finish what you were saying before Jungkook’s chapped lips are on yours. His mouth is warm and inviting but you don’t make yourself at home. Instead, you stand absolutely still as Jungkook innocently moves his lips over yours. Before you can really react, Jungkook is pulling away: absolutely horrified.

“y/n…I shouldn’t have done that…I’m sorry,” Jungkook is quick to stutter out.

You are frozen. You wish you could blame something…anything, wish you could blame the flurries that floated down to the earths ground, wish you could blame the below freezing weather and your short mini skirt, wish you could blame anything for why you are standing absolutely frozen.

You wish you could move, but the universe just won’t allow it.

“Oh my god, y/n…I really am sorry…fuck…” Jungkook’s wide eyes are focused on his feet as he threads his fingers through his thick, black hair. “Fuck, I’m sorry. Please forget about th—”

And your lips are back on his again. Jungkook’s lips may be a bit chapped but they are as soft and fluffy as you have once imagined. With your lips back on his, you take charge. You quickly move them over his, he hums in satisfaction. Your fingers find themselves in his dark locks, pushing up into his soft hair as his hand moves to cup your jaw.

You gasp when you feel his teeth nibble at your bottom lip, and moan into his mouth when you feel him jerk his hips into yours.

“Let’s go to your place.” You heavily breathe out, your fingers dragging down the side of his face.

Jungkook disconnects himself from you, stepping back a good foot, inspecting your face,

“You sure?” he asks.

“I’m sure.”

Because he may not feel the same, and he may not be yours but maybe just for one night he can be.

“Wait, you were…” Jimin’s eyebrows rise to the top of his forehead, “you were going to confess to Jungkook…?”

“Yeah…I know this might be shocking to hear—”

Jimin bursts out into laughter, his hand goes over to cover his mouth as he mutters out apologies.

“Shocking?! You think this is shocking to hear?!” he continues to chuckle, “But wow…on New Year’s eve…oh my god…” Realization hits Jimin. “Oh my god…you both are so unbelievably stupid. Oh my god.”

You share a look of confusion with Trina and Holly as Jimin continues to connects dots in his head.

“Please promise me one of these days you will actually sit down with Jungkook and have an honest conversation with him…because this is just cruel and hilarious to listen to. Your timing…wow. So fucking stupid, you idiots.”

“Okay, you don’t have to be so harsh Jimin.” Holly says sweetly, her awkward smile easing everyone.

“What do you mean?” you finally ask.

“Do you still like him…even now? I mean, I know the answer honestly but go ahead.” Jimin gestures his hand for you to answer him.

“I…”

“She doesn’t need to answer that.” Trina cuts in, “No matter what, we’re on her side. Right?”

“Oh honey,” Jimin tilts his head towards Trina, “There are no sides for me. They’re both my friends and they’re both idiots.”

You can’t help but laugh at Jimin’s words. Because he knows better than anyone how true that is, so you’ll believe him.

“But really y/n…if you didn’t tell me or Trina…did you tell anyone?”

You begin chewing on your lips again,

“I don’t even talk about it with Jungkook.”

“Why?” Holly decides to pry.

“We…after we slept together…I could tell Jungkook was freaking out. He kind of tried brushing off the whole situation and I…I just had sex with the guy I had feelings for. So I put a little bit of space between us—”

“Wait, this is when you guys weren’t really hanging out for a couple months?!”

“It was only a month.” You deadpan. “But yeah…”

“I was wondering what the fuck was going on…Jungkook wouldn’t tell me anything.”

Guilt begins making a new home with you as you sit here. You wonder if you made a poor choice back then.

“Then we agreed to never talk about it to save our friendship.” You finish.

Jimin gives you a blank stare, his eyes probably going dry from lack of blinking.

“To…save your…y/n please, I am literally begging you. Talk to him. Fucking tell him the truth…” Jimin begs, he finally screws his eyes shut and shakes his head, “I can’t help you any more than that.”

~~~~~~

It’s Monday morning and you woke up with a raging headache and a snotty nose. You better not be getting sick, you think to yourself. You have a full shift ahead of you!

You slowly put on your work uniform and apply some light makeup for the day. Did you always lack color in your face or are you actually getting sick? Fuckity fuck, you think.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Jade asks from beside you, you notice she dyed her hair black instead of the light brown she was previously sporting.

“Nice hair.” You go to compliment.

“Nice try but don’t change the subject.” She pats you on the back, “Me and the guys can take care of customers, you just bake, okay?”

“Kay.”

“You know who is so beautiful even when she’s sick?” Adam butts in, “Hazel.” He answers for you both with a dopey smile.

“Now’s not the time, loser.” Jade bobs her head around, “Where’s Lenny?”

“Probably eating fucking cookies.” You say with a grin.

“Wow, guys. I’ve been here the whole time and I am not eating cookies.” Lenny says from behind Jade. “But speaking of, don’t throw away the rejects I am taking them home.”

“Quick everyone,” Jade says flatly, “act surprised.”

The sound of the bell going off catches your attention, you notice a head full of sandy hair and you groan. It’s him. You feel like all the energy is being drained from your body, now is not the time for Mister Oatmeal Raisin.

“I’ll take care of him, don’t worry!” Lenny gives you a wide smile but you raise your hand up to stop him.

“It’s okay, he’s my usual. He’s going to ask for me anyway.”

You make it the front of the store to the register and give Mister Oatmeal Raisin a weak smile.

“Are we going to be a brat today?” he greets you warmly. You scoff and try smiling again but fall a bit short.

“Hey everything okay, y/n?”

“I’m fine Mister Oatmeal Raisin.”

“You don’t look…” he lets the words die on his tongue, not wanting to actually offend you.

“The usual?” you ask, already pushing the buttons on the screen for his order.

“Yeah.” He gives you a small smile and you smile back. You aren’t use to being so nice with him, usually you two have a lot more fun, shit, you really must not be feeling well.

You must turn around too quickly because you become very dizzy, your body wobbling and shaking from the sudden chill you feel. You hurry to lean against the counter, your hand going up to feel your throbbing forehead.

“Hey you good?” Mister Oatmeal Raisin peeks over.

“Fine, I—” you try to take a few steps but wobble too much that you almost fall. The world turning dark as your vision goes blurry but before you can hit the ground you feel yourself fall into two arms.

“Woah woah, y/n? y/n?” you hear your name from a distance, but the world is so dark and so cold that you can hardly focus on it.

“I got you.” You hear the same voice again.

You slowly open your eyes to see your most faithful customers face mere inches from your own as he holds your body up.

“You okay?”

You steady yourself and slowly get out of his hold and nod your head.

“Yeah, thanks Mister Oatmeal Raisin.” You weakly smile, saluting towards him.

“Min Yoongi.”

You can’t help but blush at your situation,

“Yoo…Yoongi.” You repeat back, your face returning some of its color. Mostly just shades of red.

“Yeah.” He smiles a real smile, you notice how cute and gummy it is and it makes you feel nice. Min Yoongi, huh?

~~~~~

It’s a lazy Tuesday afternoon, the sun creating a blanket of warmth outside while being accompanied by a fresh breeze. You want to enjoy the day…you really do but…

“Just let me die a miserable death.” You sniffle into your sleeve. It’s the 2nd day of the flu and you are well, like you said, miserable.

“You need to take the rest of your meds babe,” Jimin’s hand is full of various pills, he tries handing them to you but you deny him.

“No, I’m gonna overdose.”

“You’re not gonna fucking overdose you dramatic ass bitch.” Jimin rolls his eyes, setting the medicine down on your nightstand next to a full glass of water.

“Listen, I have to go to work but maybe call Trina to come take care of you? I know Holly is at school for the day—”

“Trina is home visiting her parents…” you sound disgusting as you speak, your voice all gross and nasaly.

“Oh. Maybe you could call—”

“No. Anyone but him,” you cut in, waving your hands in front of your face.

Anyone but Jungkook, you don’t need him to take care of you…you guys are hardly starting to become friends again and its only in group settings. So him taking care of you one on one sounds…intimate.

“No offense babe, but you literally don’t have any other friends.”

“I can take care of my—” you’re cut off by a string of sneezes, one after the fucking other. “Fuck, I am dying.” You shiver.

Jimin places his hand over your forehead, getting a feel for your temperature.

“Shit…I’m going to call him.”

“Noooo Jimin….” You lay back on your bed, your head beginning it’s pounding again. “Don’t need him…” you lazily grab the NyQuil bottle from your nightstand, “Only need this.” You smile while taking a few gulps.

“Jesus, what is wrong with you?”

Jimin takes out his phone and taps away on his screen, you assume he is sending a million texts to Jungkook begging him to come babysit you, that or he is texting Trina what a stubborn, whiny bitch you are to which she probably just replies with “True.”

“Wanna watch Howl’s Moving Castle.” You slur in your drowsy state, all the meds and NyQuil kicking in.

“Jungkook will be here in 30. Have him put it on for you when he gets here…I really gotta go…”

“Jungkook?” you try to open your eyes as you speak but they threaten to close every few seconds.

“Yeah. He will take care of you y/n.”

You wrap yourself further into your duvet, but the shivers don’t let up. You’re shaking from how freaking cold you are. Yet you are sweating like the disgusting human being you are.

Jimin eyes you over once more, his eyes full of pity as he closes your bedroom door and whispers a ‘see you later’ under his breath.

“y/n?” You hear his voice in the distance, like he’s a mile from you at least. His voice is fuzzy and far away. And you want it closer.

“y/n???” your body is being shaken awake, gently though. Like, he doesn’t want to hurt you.

“Hey…you need to take your medicine…” you begin to slowly open your eyes, the world is blurry and the sound of his angelic voice echoes. Jungkook.

“No…” you manage to breathe out.

“y/n you know I will force these pills down your throat.”

“mmmmm, leave me alone.” You lazily turn your body over to face the window. Your body shivering as you nuzzle further into the duvet.

“Not happening,” He walks to the other side of the bed and sits on the edge, just staring down at you. “Please take your meds, for me?”

“Mm mm”” you shake your head, your hair sticking to your forehead as more sweat builds up.

Jungkook looks at you with a soft smile, his hand reaching out to feel your forehead. His eyes widen as he feels how much you are burning up.

“Fuck…you’re hot.”

You crack open your eyes to look at Jungkook, “Thanks, you’re hot too.” You wink. Like a fucking sleaze. Your drowsy state feeling intoxicating as you lay here in your bed.

Jungkook chuckles to himself before turning serious again, “If you take some fever reducer I will do whatever you want today.”

You let his words marinate as you lay here, lifeless. “Anything?” you say, peering up at him.

His soft smile grows as his fingers find their way in your messy, sweaty hair.

“Anything.”

“Go buy me chicken noodle soup.” You whisper. “The kind you use to always buy me.”

Jungkook’s brows climb up his forehead as he looks at you amused.

“You think I came empty handed? Like, I didn’t already bring it?” he smirks, standing to his feet. “I’ll go warm it up, and you promise you will take your meds?”

“Pinky promise.” You weakly lift up your hand to bring your pinky to his and he gladly accepts it.

Of course Jungkook brought the soup. He’s Jungkook and you’re y/n. He is always taking care of you and you want to melt. Well, with how high this fever is you actually might.

“Hey Jungkook?” you struggle to turn over to face the bedroom door, “Thanks for coming.” Your dopey smile doing things to his heart. He looks at you with a soft, almost sad smile before he’s making his way to the kitchen.

Jungkook doesn’t want to admit how fast he rushed here to your place, but it was fucking fast. All Jimin sent was a simple “y/n’s sick.” text and he was already calling the deli where he got the soup from, placing a quick order for 2 and gathering his stuff to make his way over.

He is used to being in charge of you when you’re sick because you are stubborn as hell and he actually has the patience. But he has barely talked to you since the night of the get together, aka the night he became weak and almost kissed you—and if it weren’t for Jimin, he is sure he would have.

Jungkook stands at the stove as he heats up a portion of the chicken soup, he stares off into space as the surface begins to bubble. He exhales deeply, taking the pot off the stove and pouring the contents into a bowl for you. The soup is hot, but you probably need the heat to help ease the congestion.

Jungkook walks back into your room, the bowl in his hands with a towel wrapped around it. You wish you could smell the soup but you’re so blocked up that you don’t even notice it.

“Here, try to sit up.” He sets the bowl down on your nightstand. He goes to help you sit up from your spot in bed, his strong arms pulling you up and you gasp when you’re finally upright. Fuck. You become so lightheaded and dizzy that you hold on to his forearm for support and he lets you. He gives you a moment to adjust to your new position before he’s reaching for the soup.

“It’s hot, so be careful.” He warns softly.

He waits for you to grab the bowl but you just continue to stare at him with tired eyes.

“Wow, do I have to do everything?” he jokes, “Even feed you?”

You nod your head slowly in approval, “Yes, feed me.”

“Such a brat. You’re definitely taking all your meds after this, okay?”

“Sure.”

Jungkook sets the bowl on the edge of the bed, holding it with one hand carefully and his other hand scoops up the broth with a spoon. He brings the spoon to your mouth and nudges it between your lips.

“Open.” He demands.

Your half lidded eyes stare up at his large ones, your chest slightly heaving from trying to breathe. You never break contact as you part your lips for him, letting him pour the spoons contents down your throat.

“Good girl.” He whispers, setting the spoon back down in the bowl. “Taste good?”

You swallow the liquid and open your mouth to speak ,”Can’t taste anything…” you murmur.

Jungkook smiles down at you, “That’s a shame because,” he takes a mouthful of soup in his mouth, “It’s fucking delicious.”

“Hey! You’ll get sick!”

“I never get sick from you, remember?”

You lay your head back on your headboard, closing your eyes as the NyQuil begins to make its second attempt with you.

“So sleepy but so cold.”

“You need to eat more baby.” Jungkook gathers vegetables and a piece of chicken this time in the spoon, he brings the spoon to your lips and you open wide for him, eating what he feeds you gratefully.

This goes on for several minutes until you can’t stomach anymore food, you slide back down into your sheets, feeling miserable all over again.

“Hey, time for yours meds.” Jungkook says sternly, he shakes the pill bottle to remind you of your deal.

“Fine,” you reply weakly, you try to sit back up enough to swallow down some pills and water.

Once you gulp it down, Jungkook stares at you with a satisfied smile.

“Cold?” he asks.

“Freezing.”

You feel the bed dip beside you and before you can react you feel two strong, warm arms engulf you in a hug.

“Jungkook, what are you doing?” you slur into his chest, sleep trying its hardest to take you away.

“Just rest, y/n.” he hugs you tighter. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

Jungkook feels his heart crack when you doubt his promises now, he feels himself sink into depression as he recalls what he did to you.

The past 3 months have been crazy and weird without you. He’s missed you every day. The first few weeks he spent it in isolation. He felt like he was lost and lonely and like he didn’t deserve anyone’s love or affection. Then he decided in order for him to move on he needs to put some serious distance between the two of you…hence, why he moved out.

He knows it was sudden and fucked up but he had to…Or else he would be stuck in his lonely unrequited love forever.

Your last night with him before he disappeared he even got his hopes up…that maybe you could feel the same, but he had to be realistic. You were in such a weird state, you just needed comfort. And he hates that he was second choice.

He thought on this for a couple months, his mind overflowing with thoughts and cruel ideas. He was beginning to spiral until he met…Vanessa.

Vanessa was just looking to get laid, just like him. They met through tinder, hooking up after matching the first night. But the sex was so good they both agreed to do it again.

One night, they got so shit faced they both ended up venting about the one who makes life better yet harder. For her, it was her ex of 4 years and for him, it was you.

They confided in one another, feeling free telling someone their deepest romantic desires and they just clicked. Forming a solid friendship while also fucking.

Jungkook is grateful for Vanessa because for the first time in 3 years he connected with someone who isn’t you. Vanessa is a smart, sexy girl. And Jungkook isn’t blind to see that, so they made a deal. They would use each other to get over the ones they really love. And he thinks it could of almost worked until he saw you at that party. You were wearing the same black mini skirt that he fucked you in for the first (and only) time. You looked better than he’s ever seen you.

Somehow this made Jungkook feel even more depressed. So you are better off without him, he thinks.

Jungkook is lost in his thoughts when he feels you stir…you briefly open your eyes and tilt your head to look up at him, you blink lazily with a dopey smile.

“love you.” You yawn out, closing your eyes once again, drifting back off into dream world.

Jungkook’s heart stops. Your words ringing in his ears as he tries to stay calm.

He knows you mean it platonically but he still can’t help what it does to his weak heart. He is crazy for you, even with everything that’s happened he still loves you. You and you only. It’s always you.

Jungkook plays with your hair and chuckles lightly as he hears you struggling to breathe properly due to your nose being plugged up. How can he continue to see Vanessa when he has you? Jungkook’s smile drops all together when he realizes that would put him back at square 1.

It’s almost midnight when you wake, your body feels stiff from how much shivering you endured. You try to get up when you realize Jungkook’s body is wrapped strongly around your own, his light snores filling up the room.

You look at him carefully, his hair falling into his eyes as he moans lightly every time he moves around slightly. He’s so cute, you think. You’ve always thought Jungkook was cute but right now there’s something so endearing about him it makes you want to peck his lips softly.

Wait, what? You want to what? That’s not allowed!

The next morning comes quickly, you lay awake in Jungkook’s arms wondering if it’s okay to stay like this all day. You admittingly feel much better compared to yesterday, breathing is much easier and your head isn’t throbbing. You feel a fondness swell in your chest as you stare at Jungkook’s soft, sleeping face and it makes you feel weird all of the sudden.

You’ve always felt this way about Jungkook, right? Wait, what way? What are you saying? Or at least, trying to say? You know though, you know what you are trying to say…it’s the same thing you’ve been trying to say since freshmen year. But saying it out loud is just different.

Confusion on how to feel clouds your mind as you stare at him, his breaths are light and airy and you feel so warm and safe in his embrace. He slightly shifts, his hips bumping into yours, lightly grinding into you. Your eyes widen as you feel his hard member bumping into your thigh and it’s not like you haven’t felt it before while the two of you slept but still, it surprises you each time.

Feeling his length twitching on your thigh is creating trouble for you, you hate that such a small act is getting you all hot. You try to scoot away but he only pulls you closer on instinct. He brings you so close that his warm breath fans over your right cheek and you want to force yourself to sleep more so you aren’t hyper aware of his dick.

“Jungkook…” you mumble, trying to free yourself from his grasp but you fail miserably.

His arms are circled around your hips and he digs his fingers into your exposed flesh from how your shirt is riding up.

“Baby…” he groans out, his hips grinding into your thigh again. His eyes are screwed shut, like he is still stuck in his dreams.

You lay here frozen, he’s called you baby a million times but this is different. He’s only ever called you baby in that tone when you two…you slam your eyes shut, trying to rid yourself of the memories.

“Jungkook, time to wake up.” You wiggle in his arms but your thigh only rubs on his dick more. He releases quiet whimpers against your ear, his lips parting in pleasure.

“Mmm…” he pants out, his hips thrusts against your thigh again.

Jungkook…dreaming?

Was it bad luck to interrupt someone’s dream? Or is this just an excuse to have him rutting against you?

“Jungkook…” your voice comes out shaky as you turn your body to face him, he groans in his sleep once more.

You’re afraid he’s going to say it. Her name. Vanessa. That’s the last thing you would want to hear…it would probably ruin your whole day so you need to wake him up.

“Jungkook….” You sound more breathy than intended. You need him to wake up so you can stop thinking about his length rubbing up on you. You flush as you feel your panties start to dampen, this cannot be happening. Why did Jungkook have to have this sort of reaction out of you?

“Mmm…” Jungkook whines quietly as he ruts himself harder onto you. His cock up against your lower belly, you start to imagine him without his black sweats on, you start to imagine him without his shirt. You hesitate to reach your hand against his hard chest, you breathe out heavily as you begin to drag your fingers down until you reach just the top of his waistband. Your eyes follow your fingers until you spot his hard erection through his sweats and you breathe erratically.

“What are you doing?” Jungkook’s husky voice interrupts your horny daze. Your eyes expand in size as you realize your position. Your eyes trail up his chest until you meet his gaze, his pupils blown out.

“Where do your hands think they’re going?”

“No—nowhere.” You stare up at him, gulping. You can’t do this with him, you are finally getting your friendship back but what is with all this tension?

Jungkook releases his hold on you, moving to his back. His arms fold underneath his head as he stares up at the ceiling.

“What were you—were you dreaming about?” your hand innocently finds its way back on his chest, resting over his beating heart.

“Uh…” Jungkook turns 3 shades of red, “I don’t remember.” His blush deepens.

“I feel like you’re lying.”

“Why would I ever lie to you?” Jungkook chuckles.

Your eyes trail down his body and you see his length still struggling with a probably painful erection.

“You have a problem?” you gesture towards his crotch.

Jungkook exhales a heavy breath, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. “Jesus Christ, y/n.”

“what?” you feign innocence.

“Do you really have to point out everything?”

“Only things that are super obvious.”

“Fuck.”

“You can go take care of it in the bathroom?” you kindly offer, causing him to scoff.

“I’m good.”

“I guess Vanessa usually takes care of these things, huh?”

“Seriously?”

Jungkook groans out, frustration written all over his face. He hates the mention of Vanessa especially when he was just dreaming about you. He feels wrong. They aren’t officially in a relationship but somehow it feels like cheating.

“Can we not talk about her?” Jungkook doesn’t want to be reminded of the shitty situations he’s in.

“What do you want to talk about?”

“Are you feeling better?” he asks softly, he moves his body to lay on his side to face you.

“Much.” You smile, “Thanks again.”

“Ready for some more chicken soup?”

A few hours pass, you figured Jungkook would have left by now but he sits on your couch next to you while the two of you watch some new anime. He laughs every now and then at the ridiculous characters and you feel warm inside. It almost feels like how things were before, when he still lived with you.

“Yeah, it does.” He says, still facing the screen.

“Huh?”

“You said it feels like we still live together.” He points out.

Shit, you said that out loud.

Jungkook bows his head, “I am…sorry that I moved out.”

“Move back in.”

“You know I can’t do that…plus, you have Holly now.” Jungkook sits back against the sofa, “Can’t just kick her out.” He snickers.

“Just move in my room with me.” You say half joking. But also, you know, half serious.

“Ha ha y/n.”

“What? You don’t like sleeping with me?” you tease. “Speaking of…you can stay as long as you want…”

“I…I have plans tonight, actually.” Jungkook stiffens in his spot. He pulls his phone out from his pocket, “actually, I should get going soon.” He regrets saying.

“Oh, okay.”

~~~~~

It’s almost 7pm and Jungkook looks himself over in the mirror. He’s got tight, ripped jeans and a dark blue shirt tucked in, his hair is wavy against his forehead. He knows he looks good but he can’t find himself to be happy about it.

He has a date with Vanessa tonight…

Vanessa 7:04pm

Hey babe, I’m ready when you are<3

Jungkook 7:05pm

Okay, I am on my way :)

The ride over to Vanessa’s place takes about 20 minutes, he uses this time to listen to the radio and think. He asked Vanessa earlier this week on a date for both of their days off.

When he arrives to her apartment, he sends her a text that he’s here.

Vanessa walks out wearing a cute, yellow sundress. Her hair freshly trimmed and sporting bangs.

“Hi handsome.” She says as she steps inside Jungkook’s car. She leans over to place a kiss on Jungkook’s lips and as she begins to pull away he pulls her back in, his lips chasing hers for a more heated kiss.

“Hi.” He finally says, out of breath.

“What was that for?” she smirks, her skinny fingers digging into her purse to pull out her phone.

“Let me guess,” she begins scrolling through it mindlessly, “You’re desperate to get y/n out of your head?” She stops scrolling to glance his way, “Need me?”

“It’s not like that…” Jungkook groans.

“Oh? Isn’t it though?” her coy smile spreads across her face. “But you need me to forget, right?” she tilts her head to the side, “That’s what we’re here for, Jungkook. We use each other.”

Jungkook drags a hand down his face, “But we are trying aren’t we? To make this work?” he sounds and looks tired, that Vanessa almost feels bad.

“We can make it work later, right now you need me.” She crawls on to Jungkook’s lap, she hikes up her dress around her waist and swivels her hips over his crotch, “Don’t you?”

“Vanessa…” he chokes out. Men are so weak, she thinks.

Her hands go to unbutton his jeans and pull out his half hard cock, she gently strokes it over and over until he is fully hard in her hand.

“Fuck,” he exhales deeply, the feeling of her tiny cold hand doing incredible things to his dick.

Vanessa slides her panties to the side and rubs his dick against her wet folds, covering his dick with her juices until she lines it up with her entrance. She releases a smooth breath as she begins to sink down on his hard cock, Jungkook gasps out of the warm feeling her tight cunt provides.

“You need me, don’t you?” her voice is smooth as silk. “But you won’t ever love me.” Vanessa rises from his cock and slams back down, repeating the motion over and over until Jungkook is panting out sweet words that mean nothing.

“You wish it was her, don’t you?” her sinister smile growing on her face, “Wish this perfect pussy was y/n’s.”

At the mention of you, Jungkook loses all composure while his dick throbs, begging for release.

“Fuck...” he whines out, his eyes screwing shut in pleasure, “y/n.”

“That’s right….” Vanessa’s wicked grin takes up her whole face now, “Fuck me like I am her.”

Jungkook shamelessly moans out your name over and over, his hips meeting hers in desperate thrusts. His eyes remain closed as he fucks into Vanessa’s cunt, only wishing and imagining it was you.

“Fuuuuck” he groans out, his fingers finding Vanessa’s clit and he rubs tight, focused circles.

Vanessa whines out, loving the feeling of his cock, his fingers and the mention of your name. it was all fucked up and nothing turned her on more.

She quickly comes undone as Jungkook continues to thrust from below, his precision becoming sloppy.

“y/n…” he grunts out with one final thrust as he comes inside Vanessa.

He keeps his eyes shut as he comes down from his high, the feeling insane.

Vanessa smirks down at him, slipping his softening cock out of her. She crawls back over to the passenger side of the car and buckles her seatbelt.

“Ready for our date.” She smiles, she digs through her purse to fetch her phone and it tapping away on it.

“Fuck…” Jungkook finally opens his eyes, realizing what the fuck he’s just done. “Vanessa…”

“It’s okay.” She says nonchalantly. “I was into it.”

“How?”

“Because I think of him every time you’ve made me come.” She peeks over her phone, her eyes shining. “So we’re even.”

~~~~~

“She lives!” You hear Adam sing as you walk into the bakery.

You look and feel much better! Totally revived from the fucking dead. You smile at your coworker and do a twirl and a curtsey just for show.

“I live!” you copy while smiling as you continue to do a few more curtseys.

Jade and Lenny walk out from the back and applaud you, you laugh at their action.

“Your oatmeal raisin guy has been in every day since you’ve been out to see if you’re okay.” Lenny brings up with a knowing smile, “Or should I call him your hero? Your savior?” he grins, stuffing his face with a sugar cookie.

“Oh shush, let’s just call him…” you begin to blush, “Yoongi.”

“Yoongi, huh?” Jade playfully elbows Adam’s side, “We’re calling him ‘Yoongi’ now!” she and Adam laugh, their teasing going straight to your head.

Yoongi is your usual customer—yes. But he’s also your…what did Lenny say? Your hero? Your savior? You cringe just thinking about it! But you cannot help but grin.

The work day goes on, you have your usual easy customers, your usual stubborn customers but no sign of Yoongi yet. He usually comes on what you are assuming is his lunch break, he must work nearby but it’s already almost closing time and he hasn’t made an appearance…not that you were looking forward to it or anything…it’s just you want to say thank you, you know, for catching you when you almost fucking fainted. A simple thank you!

You’re chillin in the back, swiping through your phone when the bell goes off at the front. Jade is the first to head towards the counter when after a moment or two she’s calling out your name. He must be here, you think. You smooth out your apron and look at your reflection from your phone screen—wait, why does it even matter? You begin walking towards the front to see Yoongi standing there with a worried expression on his face but once he sees you he smiles softly.

“You’re here.” He says.

You raise a hand, “Yup, I’m here.” You laugh, “Listen, I wanted to—”

“Are you feeling better?” he looks between you and Jade and she nods her head and walks back to the back.

“Much.”

Yoongi sighs in relief, then smirks at you.

“Then I’ll have my usual.”

You stare at him before your smile is growing on your face, you can’t believe the nerve of this guy. You like it though, you have to admit.

“Sure…Yoongi.”

Yoongi looks pleasantly surprised as he nods his head in satisfaction. You walk to the back and get him his two cookies, you bring them to him as he takes the bag from you, you put it in his order on the screen.

“Also…” you say, looking up from the screen “I really want to say thanks.”

“For?” Yoongi stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

“For helping me that day…I wanted to like, uh…”

“Wanted to like, uh…what?”

“I was wondering if I could treat you to like an ice cream or something…” you sway side to side, feeling a bit awkward.

“Are you asking me out?” Yoongi blurts out and you feel flustered as fuck, all the heat rushing to your cheeks.

“W-What? N-No—”

“Because if you are,” Yoongi takes one hand out of his pocket with his phone in his grasp, “Then I would say yes.” He slides his phone over the counter. “Number.”

You must be red as a cherry, or a tomato, or like a fire truck or whatever the fuck else is super red. You look at him and gasp, your hand coming to your mouth and you can’t help but lightly chuckle.

“Fine, I’ll give you my number…but this is just a thank you outing.” You wink, taking the phone and putting your number in.

“Sure, whatever you want to tell yourself darling.” Yoongi takes his phone from you and puts it back into his jacket pocket.

“I’m free this weekend.” He sways back and forth on his heels and he laughs a bit before saying ‘Ah’ and taking out $4 and hands it to you.

“For the cookies.”

“You’re not going to inspect them?” you put the money in the register.

“I’m deciding to trust you today.”

You smile again, a real smile. Yoongi smiles back and he’s about to say something when the chime of the bell goes off and a woman and her kids make their way inside the store.

“I’ll text you.” He says before he’s turning around and heading out the door.

~~~~~

“A DATE?!” Trina and Holly yell in unison. You just told them about ice cream with Yoongi and their excitement is very evident.

“It’s not a date guys. God, how many times do I have to tell you?” you whine into the cookie you’re eating.

“It’s a thank you outing!”

“Thank you outing my ass.” Jimin frowns, “Why are you going on a date? What about Jungkook?”

You scoff, “What about him? We’re just friends, Jimin.” You defend.

“If you just come clean about every—”

“No. What good would that do?” you bite on your bottom lip, “So I can feel the lovely pain of getting rejected? He literally has a girlfriend.”

“Yeah, don’t even get me started on that shit.” Jimin complains, he takes one of the cookies from the box on the middle of the table and starts nibbling on the treat.

“But who even is this Min Yoongi guy? Is he cute?”

“Super…” you admit through a soft breath.

What? He is. He may have started out as your annoying customer but you kind of always thought he was cute.

“It’s just ice cream, you know?”

“Is it just ice cream though?” Holly intervenes, stuffing her own face with a cookie, totally ignoring the new fad diet she’s on.

“Yeah, this sounds like a good opportunity y/n.” Trina grins.

“A good opportunity?”

Jimin looks at Trina incredulously, “A good opportunity? Really Trina? Just say you hate Jungkook and move on.”

“Okay, I hate Jungkook.” She states without a problem and you frown…you don’t want her to hate him. Yeah, he hurt you but he’s…he’s not a bad guy.

“Stop guys…” you finally say, putting your half eaten cookie down. You…this isn’t a date! This isn’t a date! This isn’t a date! But…would if it is?

“Aren’t you ready to move on y/n?” Trina looks at you seriously, her hard expression almost scaring you.

“I—”

“She doesn’t have to answer that,” Jimin cuts in, “Because whatever she decides we’re on her side…right, Trina?” Jimin gives Trina a cold stare, a bite in his voice.

“Okay guys, yes let’s all just support y/n…” Holly tries saving the tension in the room.

You…tried this before already. You tried using someone to distract yourself from Jungkook, you don’t plan on using innocent Yoongi to do that again.

“It’s just a thank you outing…” you mumble, the words hard to understand by your friends. “Just saying thank you…” you bow your head, feeling sad all of the sudden.

This won’t be a repeat, will it? Taehyung number 2? You don’t think Yoongi has any ulterior motives, no not that. But do you?

“Yeah. It’s not a date.”

Jimin clasps his hands together, “Then it’s settled! Let’s change the subject.” He looks between you and Trina and Holly.

“Agreed.” Trina and Holly say at the same time, you only nod your head.

~~~~

It’s a nice Saturday evening, the breeze blows through you just right making you feel so alive. The sun is setting, giving the sky a gorgeous orange glow and you fall in love with the sight.

“How many more pictures are you going to take of the sky?” Yoongi chuckles, he walks close beside you making sure you don’t run into to like, any poles as you distractedly take photos of the beautiful sky.

“One more, one more!” you snap one last photo on your phone and slide it in your back pocket, “I have a collection of sky pictures!” you say with pride.

“I believe you.” He takes out his own phone and captures a picture of the sky too. “So we can look at the same sky.” He mumbles somewhat timidly.

You tilt your head and smile at him. You two met outside the bakery this evening so you could walk to the ice cream shop just a block away, he walks on the side next to the street while you occupy the spot walking next to all the shops.

“You know I work right around here but never been to this ice cream place you mention before.”

“Really? Where do you work?”

“The record store.”

“Ah, really? I’ve never been in.” you slow down to admire the plants outside the floral shop.

“You should come by, I think the owner would be cool with it.” He smirks.

You observe his sly smile and you wonder…

“If you say some shit like ‘It’s because I’m the owner’….” You begin, you see his sly smile grow even wider. “Oh my god, you are!”

Yoongi laughs out loud, nodding his head.

“It’s a pretty small store, but all mine.” He smiles fondly thinking over his store. “I’m serious, come check it out sometime. I mean, you like music right?”

“Am I a human being? Of course I like music!”

You both laugh while approaching the shop. Once inside, you notice how busy it is and you become afraid you two won’t find a spot to sit.

“Here, tell me what you want and I’ll go order while you find us a spot to sit, hm?” Yoongi offers, as if reading your mind.

“Oh. Okay, yeah. Sounds good.”

After circling the place for several minutes you notice a couple that was sitting at a table by the window leave so you rush to occupy the spot. You grab a napkin and wipe down the table before sitting down, you pull out your phone and scroll through social media while waiting for Yoongi to come with your ice creams.

After waiting for quite some time, Yoongi finally shows up with two ice cream cones of different flavors.

“Here.” He gives you a small smile while handing you your cone as he takes a seat across from you.

“Long line.” He gestures towards the line and smiles again.

You really like his smile, he looks genuinely happy when he does.

“You know, you kind of intimidated me at first…” you admit softly, your own smiling joining the club.

“But you seem quite soft.” You laugh, licking your ice cream.

“I get that a lot…” Yoongi groans, he looks down at the table before looking back up at you,

“I’m just kind of shy at first.”

“Shy my ass!” you lick more of your treat, “You weren’t shy complaining about the cookies I choose for you!”

Yoongi blushes at this, his laughter timid.

“The cookies you choose are fine.” He finally says, “Just had a lot of fun messing with you.” He looks up and smirks. “So,” Yoongi begins licking his ice cream again, “What do you do? Or is the bakery it?”

You internally groan. You hate this question. You have a marketing degree yet you work selling cookies.

“Uh, for now, yeah.”

“Why just for now?”

“I have a degree in marketing but…”

“Oh? Your passion lies in marketing then?” he continues to kitten lick his ice cream.

You don’t mean to scoff, but you do. You fucking do.

“Ha, passion.” You chuckle bitterly, “I hate that word.”

Yoongi raises his brows in curiosity, “Why’s that?”

“I don’t think I…” you struggle to find your words, the topic making you antsy.

“You don’t think you have a passion? Is that it?” Yoongi hits bulls fucking eye. You sigh out, finishing up your ice cream and take a bite of your cone.

“I know, that seems impossible right? Everyone has—”

“It’s okay.” He states plainly, finishing up his own ice cream. “Having a passion…a dream…you don’t have to have something like that to live a good life. Even just surviving the day is the dream.” He looks into your eyes and he shows that gummy smile you are learning to enjoy so much.

His words…you don’t really realize the impact they are leaving on you, his beautiful and wise words are exactly what you need to hear.

Yoongi continues,

“I thought I had big dreams but in the end my dream was small, it was simple. I just want to live happily. Maybe it’s the same for you, I don’t know though. I’m only now getting to know you.” His shy tone makes you feel weak.

“No, no. I think you’re right.” You admit between soft breaths. “I only pursued marketing because I knew I could find a job in the field not because I like it…I am failing miserably in interviews. All my friends are going on doing what they love and I’m just…here.”

Yoongi looks amused for a second before his soft smile returns,

“Isn’t being here enough?” he asks.

Is it? You think to yourself, is it really?

“Are you happy y/n?”

Woah, that’s a loaded question. You chew on your lips instinctively, deciding how you should answer this—if you should answer this.

“Life is a bit complicated right now.” You laugh awkwardly.

Yoongi laughs too, he nods his head in understanding.

“Even with complications, you can still find moments where you’re happy, right?”

You feel yourself becoming drawn to Yoongi’s wise and understanding nature, his words creating a warmth in you. You feel like you’re actually making a friend.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“You just gotta find the small things in life to be grateful for and eventually each small moment will add up and create big moments of happiness for you.” Yoongi smiles then stands to his feet and heads towards the trashcan to throw your trash away. While he’s gone for the few seconds he’s away, you sit back in your chair and think.

What’s complicated in your life right now? Well, you can’t find a fucking job to save your life, you’re afraid you wasted four years of college on the wrong degree—but what’s the right degree? You and Jungkook are the definition of the word ‘complicated’ and you’re afraid you’ll be stuck in unrequited love forever. But you have good friends, you like your coworkers and your job for the most part, you live in a good apartment, your parents call you regularly, you found a lady bug on a flower this morning, the list goes on!

Yoongi sits back down and folds his hands in front of him, he looks up at you with expectant eyes.

“Well?”

“Well, what?”

“Tell me more about you.”

You’re about to say something when realization hits you,

“How much were the ice creams?! They’re my treat, remember?” you quickly unzip your purse and pull out your wallet, fully ready to hand him some cash when he’s shaking his hands in front of him, denying you.

“No no, it’s okay, really.” Yoongi ushers you to put your wallet away, his smile brightens and you find yourself slumping in your chair in defeat.

“Fine.” You huff out dramatically.

“You can pay next time.” He looks down at his hands as he smiles to himself.

“Oh? There’s a next time?”

“Yeah, hanging out with you is fun y/n. I don’t want to just see you when I buy cookies...coming to see you is getting expensive.” He laughs into his shoulder.

“I just think you really have a cookie addiction.”

“Something like that.” He looks into your eyes for a moment before tearing them away to look back down at his hands. “Do you have any siblings?”

“Nope. But I have a lot of cousins, so it almost feels like I didn’t grow up lonely.”

“Your parents didn’t want to have any more kids?” Yoongi pries further.

“Actually, they weren’t supposed to have kids at all. I was there miracle baby, as they call it.” You laugh into your hands, “It feels ridiculous saying that out loud myself.” You laugh some more.

“Miracle baby, huh?” Yoongi teases. “Are your parents still together?”

“Hm? Oh yeah, they are.”

You parents are in a great, functioning relationship so why is it so hard for you to get into one?! “Are yours?”

“Nah, divorced.” Yoongi says with no bitter tone in his voice.

“Oh. I’m so—”

“Nah, it was for the best. Nothing dramatic happened they just weren’t meant to be.” He smiles at you and you nod your head.

You’re about to speak up again when you feel someone’s hand grip your shoulder and your name being called out. You know this voice. No, it can’t be. Jungkook.

“y/n?” He looks at you with confused eyes as he looks between you and Yoongi.

Jungkook is standing here next to your fucking table with his fucking girlfriend who is not his girlfriend, fucking Vanessa. She looks at you with a bored expression and tilts her head to the side.

“Hey.” He smiles at you but then looks at Yoongi again, “Uh, hey man. I’m Jungkook.”

Yoongi watches as you sit here with your mouth wide open, but he’s quick to shake his head and look up at Jungkook and introduce himself.

“Yoongi.”

Vanessa doesn’t waste her time in greeting anyone, she just taps her skinny little fingers on the table and whines into Jungkook’s ear about hurrying up.

“You guys wanna sit with us? There’s like no other tables.” You cannot believe your own ears as you offer that to them. Vanessa visibly frowns and rolls her to the side as Jungkook reacts just the opposite.

“Really?” his bunny grin taking over his whole face. You nod your head and gesture for him to go order his ice cream. He takes Vanessa’s hand and they head towards the line.

“Sorry for inviting them…I didn’t think.” You admit softly to Yoongi but he doesn’t seem mad. Not at all.

“A close friend of yours, I’m assuming?”

“Very.” You place some loose strands of hair behind your ear, you awkwardly laugh and begin pulling at the ends of your hairs. A nervous tick of yours, for sure.

“I see.” Yoongi smiles that fucking smile, like everything is okay. But is it? You don’t want to be in the same fucking room as Vanessa. But you’re giving her a chance for Jungkook’s sake.

“We aren’t really going to sit with them are we?” Vanessa’s smooth voice fills Jungkook’s ears as they wait in line.

“Why not? Plus she’s right, there’s like, no other tables.” Jungkook tries to reason.

“Why not? You cannot be ser—” she tilts her head, blinking at him, “Oh? You are? Also, you’re not worried about who this guy is? My Jungkookie isn’t feeling jealous is he?”

“Vanessa stop. It’s probably a friend from work or something.” He says nonchalantly.

“Maybe it’s a date.” Her silky voice annoying him.

“If it was a date why would she invite us?” he tries to reason again.

Vanessa tilts her head again and puts a finger to her lip, “Maybe she wants a foursome?”

“Stop.” Jungkook warns.

“I’m just trying to help you.”

You move to the other side of the table and sit next to Yoongi, you two bumping shoulders and you feel like a third grader with how giddy the action is making you.

“We’re here!” Jungkook announces excitedly. He lets Vanessa sit first and then he’s pulling out his own chair to sit in, right across from you.

“So Yoongi, how do you know our y/n?” Jungkook grins with all his teeth.

“I—”

“He’s a customer at work—”

“Yeah, I like to go to her bakery.”

Jungkook raises a brow, “Yeah the treats are good I guess.”

“Well, I don’t just go for the cookies.” Yoongi says, looking in your direction.

“Oh?” Jungkook sets his cup of ice cream down, “Oh.” He says again once realization hits him.

Vanessa glances up from her phone and smiles a smile that is void of all emotion at you and Yoongi, she sets the phone down and claps her hands softly a few times.

“So this is a date.”

“No—”

“Yes.”

You snap your head towards Yoongi with a shocked eyes. Did he just say this is a date? Then he’s smiling at you with apologetic eyes.

“I mean, I would like it to be.”

Your head immediately faces forward to see Jungkook’s reaction. He looks as shocked and confused as you, you begin shaking your head.

“Uh…um…” you say, your eyes still on Jungkook. He looks between you and Yoongi then he frowns. Fucking frowns!

“We can discuss that later.” You finally say, laughing awkwardly. Jungkook turns towards Vanessa and glares at her, fucking glares.

“What?” She mouths innocently, going back to her phone.

“Anyway,” you try to break the awkward tension, “I think me and Yoongi are going to head out actually.”

“We just sat down?” Jungkook looks at you with his big, stupid doe eyes and you almost want to stay but you know what’s for the best.

“I’ll walk you back to the store?” Yoongi asks from beside you.

You nod your head in agreeance, standing to your feet while Yoongi follows. Jungkook stands up too, not ready for you to leave.

“I’ll see you later?” Jungkook asks with pleading eyes.

You hesitate for a moment but end up nodding your head in approval.

“Uh, bye Vanessa.” You force out, your voice a little loud as you bid your farewells to her.

Vanessa continues tapping on her phone but uses one hand to wave you off.

This fucking bitch. What does Jungkook see in her? You just don’t see the appeal? Yeah, she’s gorgeous. But is that all I takes for Jungkook?

“Yeah, okay.” You roll your eyes and Jungkook looks at you sympathetically. He will scold Vanessa later.

You and Yoongi take it slow walking back to the bakery. You two walking idly, and stopping by other shops just for the fun of it.

“About what I said earlier…I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” Yoongi is messing with a scarf on the mannequin inside this little boutique.

“You didn’t. I was just…surprised is all.”

“Is Jungkook like, your ex-boyfriend or something?” Yoongi doesn’t waste any time apparently. “Because you guys seem to have some history.” How can he tell you have history?!

“Sorry, I’m just a really observant person.” He chuckles.

“Um, no but we were best friends but some things happened and…” you hesitate to continue, “And…”

“It’s okay. Life has complications remember? But there’s still happy moments. So, tell me what’s not complicated about you two?”

“I love him.” you blurt out. “Wait, wait. I mean. Fuck. I mean—”

“That’s normal. He was your best friend, right?”

You sigh out in relief, your deep exhale heard throughout the whole shop.

“Exactly.”

“Are you still best friends?”

“That’s the complicated part.” You breathe out, “But does he still mean the most to me? Yeah.”

“I see.” Yoongi takes the scarf and wraps it around your neck, “I had someone like that too.” He smiles. “But I was in love with them.”

You choke on your spit, what is Yoongi…is he…does he know?

“Oh.” You decide to laugh, “But that’s not the case with me and Jungkook.”

“Never said it was.” He inspects the scarf around your neck, “You should get this,” he motions towards the scarf, “It looks good on you.”

“It’s summer time!” you laugh, “But thanks.” Your phone starts buzzing, you pull it from your back pocket to get a look at it.

Jungkook 7:42pm

Hey

Jungkook 7:42pm

Wanna come over later? Nick isn’t home

Jungkook 7:42pm

I know you said no solo hang outs but I thought I would give it a shot

Does this mean he’s ending his night early with Vanessa? If so, you may throw the whole rule away about no solo hang outs. You just cannot stand her. You don’t want to say you hate her but you do hate her attitude and honestly, overall personality.

You look over to Yoongi who is messing with the material of some cardigan, and you almost feel bad if you decide to ditch him. But your night was ending anyway, right?

y/n 7:45pm

hmm, sure. I’ll be over at 9, does that work?

Jungkook 7:45pm

Yes.

You slide your phone back into your pocket and head towards Yoongi and his new cardigan that you are assuming he is buying consider how smitten he looks with it.

“It’s nice, right?” he says holding up the piece of clothing.

“Try it on!”

“Don’t forget to come by the record store sometime y/n, since you’re a human being who loves music.” Yoongi chuckles, he leans forward and you share a cute yet awkward hug.

“Bye Yoongi. I’ll def be by.”

You unlock your car and step inside, sitting down. Yoongi shuts the car door for you and smiles and waves you goodbye as he starts heading towards his own car.

Tonight was nice, weird, then nice again. You definitely won’t use Yoongi to distract yourself from Jungkook but you definitely feel like you made a friend. He gave you some words of wisdom and comfort, that you really needed to hear. You feel like Yoongi could become someone important in your life.

~~~~~

Jungkook 9:14pm

When will you be here?

y/n 9:15pm

be there in 15.

Jungkook steps out of the shower, his towel hanging dangerously low around his hips as he takes a look in his fogged up mirror.

“You can do this.” He tells himself, his teeth catching his bottom lip.

He can hang out with you like things are back to normal. He can hang out with you like you guys are still just best fucking friends. But he hasn’t seen you since you were sick, since you had your hand in a dangerous place. Since he dreamed of you while in bed with you.

He can be normal. Like he didn’t fuck Vanessa and moan out your name the entire time. He groans and cringes just remembering that. Vanessa assured him it was fine but that just makes him feel worse. He feels guilt ridden while she remains coy and sickingly sweet.

Apparently, Jungkook got lucky. But will it be this way with every girl he’s with from now on? That’s unacceptable.

Soft knocking can be heard from the front door and a chime from his phone goes off. You must be here, he thinks.

He doesn’t have time to dress so he decided to say fuck it and open the door this way, it’s not like you haven’t seen this view before…you lived together.

He approaches the door, taking a long, deep breath before he’s swinging it open and letting you in.

You’re wearing leggings and one of his t shirts, his chest tightens at the sight. Jungkook quickly apologizes for not being dressed and you nod your head slowly, taking in his more than half naked appearance.

You flush at the sight, his towel doing barely anything to cover the outline of his length, and shit, the towel is short on him…his monstrous thighs flexing underneath. Your mouth waters as you shamelessly eye him up and down.

“Yeah…” you choke out, “Probably should get dressed…”

You make yourself comfortable on the sofa in the living room, some random movie is on TV and you mindlessly watch.

“Sorry about that” Jungkook laughs. He walks to the sofa, sitting beside you but with enough space. “You got here sooner than I thought.”

“Well, I live pretty close.” You point out, your face angled towards him. “So what’s up?” “Nothing, I just wanted to see you.” Jungkook eyes light up, “Oh! I have wine!”

You nod approvingly, “Now we’re talkin’ baby.”

Jungkook rushes to the kitchen to find two wine glasses and fills them to the brim, he walks back to the sofa and hands you a glass.

“I know you said no one on one hang outs but thanks for coming.”

“I’ll make an exception this time” you wink, bringing the glass to your lips. You nod at one another as each of you take a generous gulp.

“Aaahhh, alcohol.” You say in unison. Then you look at one another and burst into a giggle.

“How were your plans?” you pry. You set the glass down between your thighs as you move your body to face him, giving him your full attention.

“Uh…” Jungkook doesn’t know what to say.

“It’s just…” the words die on his tongue. He sends them to the graveyard as he sits back on the sofa and shuts his pretty mouth.

“You guys didn’t have fun?” you pry further. You want to know, for some reason you want to know what him and Vanessa were up to.

“Did you guys like, hang out after the ice cream place?”

“Not really…we…kind of hung out but it was quick.” He says, rubbing the back of his neck.

“A quickie, huh?” you joke, but you wonder if that’s what it really was.

“y/n.” he warns, his hands go to massage his exposed thighs, his shorts doing little to cover all his muscles.

“I’d kill myself for a quickie, it’s been so long.” You decide to be honest, you’re trying to be like normal friends again.

Jungkook’s brows crease as he looks at you, “Don’t say stuff like that.”

“Right, sorry.” You pat his shoulder, “But really, it’s been forever.” You say again.

“Um, when was the last—”

“Taehyung.”

Jungkook’s frown deepens, “When’s the last time you spoke to him?”

“Maybe a week ago? He sends me texts occasionally.”

“You talk to him?!” Jungkook howls out, his hands gripping his shorts.

“It’s more like he talks to me.” You chuckle. “What about you? When is the last time you talked to him?”

“Umm…”

“What?”

“About a day after you told me everything.” Jungkook’s eyes slide to the side, a look of guilt plastered on his face.

“You went and talked to him after?” the shock is evident in your voice.

“Something like that…” Jungkook scratches the top of his head, deciding if he should tell you the truth. He decides to be honest.

“I went over there to kick his ass.”

“Jungkook!” you blink at him repeatedly, until you’re snorting. “And how did that go?”

“Gave him a black eye.”

“And you?”

“Got a busted lip from it.” He admits, even though you can tell he didn’t want to say that last part.

“Fighting is never the answer.”

“He deserved it, y/n.”

“And did you deserve the busted lip?”

“Yeah.”

You weren’t expecting him to agree with that so quickly, you were just joking around. You realize Jungkook is probably still trying to forgive himself, like he once told you.

“Well, everything’s okay now right?”

“Is it y/n?” he doesn’t look at you. He only stares straight ahead.

“Jung—”

“I am still so sorry…” Jungkook exhales deeply, his hand finds its way to yours.

You tangle your fingers through his, until they’re interlocked.

“I know, Jungkook.”

“I’m trying so hard to…” Jungkook faces you, his frown making you wince. “…make this right.”

“I know, Jungkook.”

“I’m trying to…” he chokes on his words, his breathing becoming slightly unsteady, “…work this out.”

“Jungkook—”

“I’m trying.”

His palm in your hand becomes so sweaty and you almost want to detangle so you can wipe your hand on your yoga pants. But you keep holding on to his hand, his guilt very apparent to you right now.

You scoot closer to him until your knees are touching, you place yours and Jungkook’s hands in your lap.

“And we’re making it work, we’re taking it slow.”

“It almost feels like our friendship has started over y/n.” Jungkook’s voice cracks, “Like, I don’t remember how to be like we use to be…”

“I told you Jungkook, things probably wouldn’t be the same.” You squeeze his hand in yours, “But that’s okay. We…”

Jungkook looks at you with his doe eyes and you want to melt. You want to melt into a puddle on the floor.

“It may not be the same but could it be better this time around?” Jungkook asks with pleading eyes.

“I hope so baby.” Your other hand reaches forward and caresses Jungkook’s cheek and he leans into your touch, he breathes out, his breaths hitting your palm and you feel yourself getting hotter.

“You rarely call me baby.” Jungkook whispers. “Only time you really did is when we—”

“When we what, Jungkook?” you challenge, your hard stare making him shiver.

“I don’t have to say it.” He says. “Look, wanna get fucking wasted?”

You look at him for a few moments, just staring into his eyes before you crack a smile.

“I dare you to chug your entire glass of wine.” You point at the wine glass with your chin.

“Only if you chug yours.” Jungkook winks.

“Wow, aren’t we some classy bitches?” you joke.

You both clink your glasses together and begin chugging the wine back, the bitter flavor making you wanna puke but you handle it just fine.

“Phew, that was something” you say, trying not to throw up. “wow I am not young anymore, or what?”

“Yup, you’re an old lady. I chugged it like a champ.” Jungkook grins, setting his glass on the table in front of the couch.

“If we aren’t tipsy within the next 5 minutes I am punching someone.”

“I’m starting to wish Nick was home now, I don’t want to fall victim to your fists of fury.”

After several more glasses of wine has been drank, you find yourself snuggling close to Jungkook on the sofa.

“I thought you said no affection.” Jungkook slurs out, teasing you.

“Oh? Should I move away?”

Jungkook pulls you by the arm, making your body fall forward into his side. Closer and closer.

“Never.” Jungkook lays his head on top of yours. “Wanna go lay in bed? More comfortable.”

“Yes yes, sleep over.” You cheer drunkenly. Jungkook stands up and helps you to your feet as well. You fall forward into his arms and he has to half carry you to his room.

Jungkook has the same blue comforter on his bed and it brings you back to a million memories. You wonder how many times Vanessa has been tangled up in this blanket? You don’t even want to ask Jungkook if the sheets are clean…you don’t want to think about him with her.

“Come lay with me.” You slur out as you slip between the sheets. “I want to cuddle.”

“Coming, just gonna grab some water for us.”

“Kay” you respond lazily.

You look around Jungkook’s room, it looks exactly as his last room in the apartment you two shared. Somehow that makes you happy, like not much has changed.

“Okay, drink this.” Jungkook is nudging a glass of water between your lips but you refuse.

“Mm mm.” you shake your head.

“Be a good girl for me.” Jungkook says in a low voice, you blink up at him, opening your mouth to drink the water.

“Good.”

He sets the water down on the nightstand and sinks into bed with you, leaving the lamp on so there’s a nice, warm glow lighting up the room. You immediately snuggle close, your head nuzzling his chest.

“So…was that a date tonight?” Jungkook finds the drunken balls to ask you, finally.

“No.” you answer honestly. “But it could turn out that way.”

You don’t know why you say that. Maybe in hopes to make Jungkook jealous? But why would he be jealous?

“How so?”

“He’s a nice guy.”

“Pshh, I’ll be the judge of that.”

“He is, Jungkook.”

“So you give any nice guy a chance?” Jungkook slurs out. “I can be nice…” he says, barely above a whisper.

“Tell me 3 nice things then.” Your hand lays rest over his stomach, you rub circles on it and he sighs out.

“You’re…” Jungkook bites down on his bottom lip as he thinks, “Really beautiful.” He turns to lay on his side to face you. “Really smart.” His breaths are mingling with your own. “And really funny.”

“What generic answers.” You laugh. “But I’ll take them” you look up into his eyes, they’re dark and beautiful. “Should I compliment you too?” you ask, your drunk mind giving you confidence.

“Yes please.”

“You’re really, like really fun to be with.” Your fingers brush some of his hair out of his eyes, “You make me laugh a lot. And I think you’re really sexy.” You chuckle.

“Sexy?” he slurs out, licking his lips over and over as he watches you nod your head.

“Yeah.” Your hand goes back to his stomach, your fingers go under his shirt, brushing your fingers over his sensitive skin and he releases a long breath as he slowly closes his eyes.

“y/n…” Jungkook whines out quietly, his erratic breaths not going unnoticed by you.

“You like being touched by me?” you whisper.

“Yes.”

You know you are both too drunk right now but you cannot help but continue.

Your fingers dip lower, caressing his lower belly, your touch so light he almost doesn’t feel it. But he does feel it. He feels it.

That same hand crawls up his chest and goes behind his head, gripping a handful of hair and slightly tugging his locks, Jungkook whimpers at the feeling.

Jungkook’s hips rut forward and you feel yourself getting hotter. Jungkook has his eyes screwed shut when you tug his hair again, this time pulling his head back to expose his throat.

Your other hand reaches up and with your pointer finger you drag it from his lips down his throat until you reach his collar bones then you slowly, very slowy drag that same finger down his chest and his toned stomach.

Jungkook tries to steady his breathing but he can’t. Your own breathing not much better. You decide to retreat both hands back to your sides when Jungkook’s eyes shoot open.

He looks down at you, his eyes dark and dreamy.

“You think you can just tease me like that?” Jungkook’s voice is the lowest you’ve heard it. “Huh, y/n?”

Your name slips past his lips in a low, seductive tone and you can’t help but squeeze your thighs together. You’re drunk, you keep reminding yourself. You should stop this. But—

“What are you going to do about it Jeon?”

Jungkook glares at you before he’s smirking, his hands circle around your waist and he pulls you into his body, your chest flush against his. You feel his hard length against your stomach and you swear right then and there you become undeniably wet.

Jungkook just stares at you, stares into your eyes, stares at your lips until he’s breathing so erratically. Your harsh breaths hit his skin and he leans forward until his forehead is touching yours. Your lips so close yet so far.

“We’re drunk.” He slurs out, but there is amusement in his voice.

“Drunk people do things they’re not supposed to all the time.” You tease.

Jungkook’s go from your waist to your hips real quick, he pulls them closer to his crotch. You feel how hard he is at your center and you want to moan out right then and there. The clothed contact feels so fucking good.

“Jung—”

Jungkook desperately brings you in close, his lips connecting with yours. His mouth is warm and moving against yours messily and aggressively. You pause the kiss to moan but then dive right back in. He ruts his hips forward, you feel how desperate he is and you find yourself grinding your hips into his. The pleasure on a whole other level, his clothed cock rubbing against you so deliciously.

His tongue finds its way into your mouth, he plays with your tongue, tangling them together. You continue to moan out, your hands exploring the front of his body until you hand finds its way back into his hair. You know he loves to have his hair pulled, you do. You tug it gently at first, he disconnects his mouth from yours to groan out. Then you’re pulling it a little harder and he’s rutting against you faster. He guides your head to expose your neck to him and he begins sucking bruises, leaving his pretty art work behind.

“y/n.” your name gets dragged out between his teeth and you swear you become even wetter. You yank his head forward until his lips are on yours again, you kiss him over and over until he’s begging to be touched.

But you don’t touch him, no. You just continue to kiss him, like your life depends on it. Your lips move from his mouth to his neck, you suck on his skin as he whimpers out.

Jungkook’s hands grab a hold of your ass, grinding you closer into his crotch and you moan at the feeling. You never knew this much action with clothes on could feel so fucking good.

“Love this ass.” He massages your cheeks and gives them a light spank. You whisper his name over and over, your lips attacking his neck again. You two move desperately against one another, he finds your lips again and kisses you wet and sloppy and you couldn’t be more turned on.

And next thing you know the sun is making its way through his blinds and it’s morning. You’re dead asleep in Jungkook’s arms. The boy snoozing away as well. You two completely oblivious to last night’s adventures.

You begin to open your eyes, taking in your surroundings. That’s right, you’re in Jungkook’s room. You look all around the room until your eyes land on him. You smile softly until you see it. A purple bruise blooming on his neck…several in fact. And last night’s events hit you like a fucking train.

You quickly sit up in bed, panic filling your body when Jungkook begins to stir in his sleep, your action waking him up. He opens his own eyes and sees you staring down at him.

He notices his own evidence of his attack on your neck and goes pale. Then he says the words you’ve been thinking.

“Oh fuck.”