#I see where my fault is but I'm unable to react differently

[self-indulgent-sapphism]

Me, trying to change our power dynamics: leaving you like this, unsatisfied, would be fun

Her: I have hands, I can finish the job myself

Me: 😮🥺🥺🥺 noo, why would you do that 🥺🥺🥺

[cinnoasch]

Is it ok if I request an Akira scenario where he's helping Y/N achieve her 'true persona'? How would he react when she achieves her persona? Or, different case scenario, how would Y/N react to Akira's "new form" when he gains HIS persona. dunno if this would work out, I've kinda forgot parts of the plot of Persona so I don't rlly remember where or when exactly this happened-

A/N: Hi anon! I'm so so sorry this took so long! I hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 2427

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Wish (Akira Kurusu x Fem!Reader)

You let out a sigh as you stare at your phone, occasionally typing some words and then deleting them a few seconds later. Tomorrow, the Phantom Thieves were going to steal Maruki’s treasure and fix reality once and for all. You were a bit nervous, but you had faith that things would turn out the way you hoped. The only thing that was bothering you however… was Akira. Besides the short conversations you had with the team during palace exploration, you hadn’t talked to him outside of that. You really wanted to, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to text or call him.

It was silly honestly. He was your boyfriend, yet here you were unable to talk to him. When you two first started dating, Akira told you that he would always be there for you, no matter what. Whether you needed to vent, talk or just wanted his company, he’d be there. Yet what about you? You hadn’t been there for him when he started the infiltration on Maruki’s palace. You had a hunch that things weren’t right from the start of the New Year, yet you couldn’t bring yourself out of that ‘perfect reality’. You wanted things to stay like that, even if he wasn’t by your side. Even if that was what you wanted the most.

Suddenly your phone rings, playing a ringtone you knew far too well. You glance at the screen seeing Akira's name and you answer hesitantly.

"Are you using our text messages as your grocery list again?" He asks.

“Wha- no, why would you ask that?”

“Well, you were taking a long time to type so I just figured you were typing your grocery list out.”

“I wasn’t typing out my grocery list for your information. Shopping’s the last thing on my mind right now.” You sigh. “Anyways, how’d you know I was typing? Were you waiting for me to text you?”

Akira chuckles, “I mean when your girlfriend suddenly cuts you off, a guy can’t help but wonder if he did something wrong.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Akira. It’s just… you know things have been hectic. We’ve been so busy lately with Maruki and everything else.”

“So busy that you can’t talk to me?”

You stay silent. He was right after all. Akira had made sure you all finished planning out a path to the treasure long before the deadline. You had plenty of time to talk to him, but you just felt guilty every time you thought about it.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” He sighs. “It’s just… I miss you;, you know? We’ve barely talked since this whole thing started. And I’m not blaming you, it’s my fault too but if there’s something wrong, I want you to tell me.” 

“I know, and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you worry. I know it’s late, but I want to talk to you… can I come over?”

“No need, I’m already heading your way. Just wait for me, okay?”

“Okay.”

You hang up and put your phone down on the couch next to you. You were glad that he called but you also felt terrible. The last thing you wanted to do was make him worry, make him feel as if he did something wrong. You hated hearing him like that. Sure, you two had your fights sometimes but this was different. Not only did you betray his trust, but you broke your own promise to him.

Akira must have been closer than you expected because a few minutes later you hear a knock on the door. You go to open it, greeting him with a smile. “Hey.”

“Hey.” He replies a bit out of breath. “You weren’t waiting long, were you?”

“Please tell me you didn’t run here.”

“I didn’t. Definitely not.”

You roll your eyes as you pull him inside and close the door behind him. “Liar. Come on in, before you catch a cold.”

Akira chuckles, “I only did what you told me to. Besides, I was going to show up uninvited, but I’m glad I called you first.”

“So that’s why you said you were already headed over… Well, thank you for calling first.” You clear your throat. “Anyways, um, sit down. Would you like some tea or hot chocolate?”

He shakes his head, “No thanks.” Then he takes a seat on the couch, patting the empty space next to him. “Come here. You don’t have to be so nervous.”

“I’m not nervous…” you mumble as you sit down next to him. “Okay maybe a little, but it’s just because we haven’t talked like this in a while. Like… a serious conversation like this.”

“Would you believe me if I told you I was nervous too?”

“No. You’re always so calm and collected. If you are, I can’t tell.”

“Then here,” Akira says, taking your hand and placing it over his heart. Even through his winter coat, you could feel his heart beating at a quick, steady pace. You glance up, meeting his gaze as he smiles softly. “Now, do you believe me?”

You nod, unable to tear your eyes away from him. Just how lucky were you to have someone like him in your life? Someone that easily washed away the doubts in your mind with a single action. Someone that was so kind to you even after how you treated him. With a simple action and a smile that melted your heart, Akira washed your guilt away. It’s hard to believe that your ‘perfect reality’ didn’t have him by your side. 

“If you keep staring at me like that, we might not get any talking done at all.”

Drawn out of your thoughts, you quickly pull your hand away from Akira’s chest. “S-sorry, I was just thinking…” 

“It’s okay. Still nervous?”

You shake your head. “Nope, nerves are all gone. Thank you.” With a deep breath, you start. “Well, first of all, I wanted to apologize for how I’ve been these past few weeks. I didn’t mean to cut you off like that, and my intention wasn’t to make you think you did something wrong. It’s just… I felt guilty.”

“Guilty?”

“Mhm… the truth is, I knew from the beginning that this reality was off. I’m not sure how I knew, it was just a hunch really. But, instead of telling you, I pretended to not know. It’s just seeing everyone so happy… it wouldn’t feel right taking that away. Yet in the end, I guess we all made up our minds anyway…” You look down at your hands, fiddling with the hem of your shirt. “The main thing is that I should’ve been there when you first infiltrated Maruki’s palace. And yet I wasn’t. Despite you always being there for me, I couldn’t even be there for you…”

“So you knew…”

You nod, feeling Akira’s gaze. You knew that if you looked at him, you might just end up crying. He didn’t sound mad, if anything it was more surprise and slight disappointment. To be honest, you weren’t sure why you made that choice of not telling him. Maybe it was just how you were, you always had a habit of hiding things from people, even if you didn’t mean to.

To your surprise he ruffles your hair, and you look up, seeing him smile. “I’m not upset. So don’t look so sad. I’m a bit hurt that you didn’t tell me, but it sounds like you had your reasons, right?”

“...yeah. I didn’t want to see our friends have what they wanted the most taken away from them.”

“And what did you want? You probably weren’t affected by Maruki’s reality because you didn’t have it.”

“I…” You hesitate. Would it be selfish of you to say what you wanted? He was already right here next to you. Just like you wanted originally. However, voicing your thoughts aloud was different. If you told him, what would he think? 

“There’s that look again.” Akira says with a small chuckle as his gaze turns towards the ground. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me now. Or ever, if you don’t really want to. But just know that whatever it was, it wasn’t selfish of you to think that way… I mean, all of us, me included, we have our selfish ways, don’t we? That’s why this ‘perfect reality’ came about anyways.”

It wasn't often, but very rarely you saw this type of expression on Akira. It was distant, but there was also a feeling of longing. As if he was trying to come to terms with something. 

“...perfect reality…” You mumble quietly. Then your eyes widen in realization. 

Tonight was the last day for Maruki to contact Akira. You felt stupid for forgetting something so important. Then you look at Akira. Did he have that same look throughout all of this? That look of loneliness? That look easily told you who else was on his mind.

"Maruki contacted you… right? To be honest it slipped my mind… even though it was something so important."

Akira nods. "Yeah, he contacted me."

"And Akechi was there too?"

He looks at you surprised. "How did you-"

"The look on your face. The last time I saw you with that expression was when he died. You two were really close, huh?"

“...yeah.” Akira sighs. “Somehow, Maruki heard of what happened to him and in order to give us another chance at being friends, this reality came to life.” Akira runs his hands through his hair. “If we don’t go through with taking back our reality… Akechi will be alive, and if we don’t… well the answer is obvious.”

You stay silent, not sure of what to say. What could you say to this? 

“It’s a lot to take in, right? You’d think it’d be a simple decision after everything. But when someone’s life is being used like that…like a bargaining chip… it just feels wrong.” Akira shakes his head slightly and glances at you. “What would you do if you were me?”

There was that expression again. How were you supposed to answer him when such a sorrowful expression painted his face?

“I…” You begin hesitantly, trying to find the words to say. “I’d go through with what we started. Of course, using someone’s life like that is just wrong, but I think it’d be best if we went through with it. I think Akechi wouldn’t be able to stand knowing that we turned our backs on what we originally planned to do. If we did that… it’d just seem like his sacrifice in Shido’s palace was for nothing… at least that’s how I feel.”

Akira chuckles, “Sounds about right.” He sits up, leaning his head back to stare at the ceiling. “I thought the exact same thing.”

“You already gave Maruki your answer then… So why ask for my opinion?”

He hums in thought, a smile appearing on his face. “Because your opinion is important to me. Why do you think I was in such a rush to get here, to talk to you? During this whole thing, I’ve heard everyone’s opinions on what they thought we should do about this reality. Yet the one person whose opinion I wanted to hear the most, the person whose opinion is the most important to me, never contacted me to talk.” Akira turns to you, a soft expression on his face. “You know I’ll always be here for you right? No matter what. So don’t keep your feelings or thoughts locked inside.”

You blink a couple of times, feeling tears start to prick at your eyes again. You chuckle slightly as you look away from him. “You sure do have a way with words. Makes sense that you’re our leader…” With a sigh you face him with a smile. “I’ve made up my mind. No more keeping to myself. It wouldn't be fair to you, making you worry. I want to be someone you can rely on too.”

You couldn’t explain it but somehow, you felt different after you told Akira that. As if your soul felt stronger somehow, as if a voice in your head told you that you had changed. You weren’t exactly sure what this feeling was, but you knew that you wanted to give back to Akira after all he’s done for you.

You hear him chuckle, about to say something but you place a finger on his lips. “Nope, I know what you’re gonna say. That you already rely on me for a lot, but let me have this okay? I want to trust in this feeling that I have, that I can be stronger for you and the team. If I can’t truly confide in you, then who am I to even wish for you?”

“You… So that was your wish?”

“I-” Your face reddens in embarrassment as you take your hand away from his face and avert your gaze. You didn’t even realize what you had said.

“Oh, what happened to ‘no more keeping to myself’?” Akira teases. “C’mon, be honest now.”

Your face reddens even more as you look down at your hands, mumbling slightly. “I wished for you.”

“One more time? I couldn’t quite hear you.”

“I wished for you! There, happy?” You shout as you look at Akira. He had the widest smirk on his face. You grab the pillow next to you and smother him with it. “Wipe that grin off your face…”

“What? A guy can’t be happy that his girlfriend wished for him? You don’t have to be so embarrassed. Y’know it’s cute that you’d wish for something you already have.”

“Just please… shut up.”

He laughs and suddenly you feel his hands on yours as he lowers the pillow so he can look at you. “But seriously, I’m really happy you told me, even though you said it without realizing. You said it with such conviction, I wasn’t sure if I heard you correctly. You feel… stronger.”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“Mm, I think I can prove otherwise.”

You laugh as you look up, meeting his eyes again. “Yeah? And how can you-”

In one swift motion, Akira closes the gap between the two of you, his lips pressing onto yours. It was quick and sweet; you didn’t even have the time to react with how fast it happened.

As he leans his forehead against yours, you can hear him whisper, a bit of playfulness laced in his voice. “Believe me now?”

[belit0]

Would you be willing to write angst where Madara and indra (separately) finally broke the last straw and they and their lover have a heated argument. It escalates to the point where she threatens to take off her ring. How would they react. (The argument was their fault.)

I am convinced Indra is one of those persons who says hurtful things without feeling it just to make the other one angry, and no one can change my mind.

Indra

He knows the argument is his fault, he is aware of how he pressures (Y/N), and how she feels lesser for not being able to give him a child. It is no one's fault really, only the Otsutsuki's impatience and helplessness for not being able to control nature itself.

Indra is mighty in every way, the most powerful man in the world, but he is failing at the one fundamental task of his present time: to conceive an heir and start a clan with his own blood.

He does not know where the failure lies, he has no idea if it is because of him or (Y/N), all he cares about is how he fills his wife with his seed every single night, hoping for an immediate result that never comes. It is frustrating, having achieved the most difficult goal of his life, conquered everything he wanted, and not being able to achieve the most common and ordinary task of any man.

An afternoon of problems is when he explodes against his beloved, bearing the pressures of his followers and resolving situations within the village he managed to create after his victory. Everyone counts on him, everyone needs him, and the pressure of authority becomes exhausting.

(Y/N), worried about her inability to grant him an heir, seeks validation and reaffirmation from him. She just needs to hear everything is okay, that they will get through it together, and that patience will be the greatest virtue for them both to get through the predicament, finally getting a child. The woman goes to her husband's private training camp, where she always counts on being able to find him. The man senses her arrival and stops his practice to give her his attention. "It's nothing urgent, my love, I'm just worried."

With a cold stare, Indra hides his concern, refusing to let his wife see the worry is shared. Unable to show he feels fear about it too, he chooses a distant stance, kicking the problem down on her, "You should be, it's been a while since we started trying."

"You talk like it's my fault...we have no idea what's going on and-" (Y/N) is interrupted by curt words, throwing responsibility on her actions, as if she doesn't want to have a family with him.

"I'm not certain about that, and I'm afraid consequences must happen soon." The Otsutsuki glares at her, red-eyed from his height, inwardly regretting not knowing how to put his feelings into words without hurting her in the process. He knows his position will only lead to trouble, but he can't do anything about it, riding a train with no brakes.

"Consequences...would you risk all our years together for a stone in the road...? Indra, I've been with you from the beginning, long before everything that happened..." There are tears in (Y/N)'s eyes, threatening an early free fall down her face. The woman stares at him in disbelief, genuinely mortified with every response she receives. Does her company mean nothing to him, the unconditional love she gave him through all their moments?

"My life was built upon losing people I believed to love. If I had to lose you for this, it wouldn't be news, (Y/N)." His sentences are like many kunai burying themselves in different parts of her body, and the woman can do nothing but rethink everything until now.

"You should probably keep this then." She throws the gift he gave her on their wedding night, a beautiful ring engraved and embedded in red gemstones, at his feet. Pain is visible on her features, and the anger with which she turns away from him is palpable.

Worst of all, Indra does not feel any of the words he said. He would never abandon her, even if it meant not being able to bear children of his own blood. He cannot control the image he pretends to have in the outside world, even if that includes hurting those he truly cares about.

(Y/N) has been with him since before his curse, was with him during his eternal fight with Ashura, and helped him build the place he now calls his. She is his safe space, his little home, but he can't help the awful unreasonable words flowing out of his mouth in frustration, anger, and rage. She knows him, and understands he's usually a pain in the ass to argue with, but this time she seems to have been truly affected by his statements.

Maybe he took it too far, without even meaning to.

He picks up the ring at his feet and puts it in his pocket before deciding to run, get away from the place, and find a distant and remote village to kill every single one of its inhabitants. Indra lashes out at the life of all the innocents he finds in the tiny town, destroying children, women, and fathers alike.

His anger is directed at himself, raging at his inability to control and suppress his reflex to hurt others. Of course, ironic to analyze his own self while dismembering humans left and right.

Madara

It is in the early evening when Madara decides to leave in search of (Y/N). Having arrived earlier than usual, he wanted to surprise her at home, but she was nowhere to be found. He opted to go to Izuna and ask about her, his brother always being everywhere and nowhere, knowing the whereabouts of every person in the clan.

The younger Uchiha recounts how he saw her walking a while ago, presumably towards the local Uchiha market, intending to buy something to make Madara some dinner. How Izuna knows so many details is none of his concern, yet he is grateful for the information.

Arriving at the market, he scans the place for her presence, too tired to use the Sharingan and deciding to do it the old-fashioned way. He walks among the stalls and greets every person who dares to speak to him, being stopped many more times than he would like at this hour.

As he talks to a little old lady, he sees her in the distance, having a very animated conversation with a man he recognizes from his army. He is an average warrior, one of the many Uchiha who never managed to develop a Sharingan, and he is too close to his wife for his liking.

Quickly excusing himself, Madara frees from the old woman to get closer to where (Y/N) is, without revealing himself to her but close enough for the man to notice. Behind his wife's back, the Uchiha stares at him with eyes full of hatred and menace, causing the warrior to flee in terror without even saying goodbye to her. Confused, (Y/N) turns around to see what spooked the man, caused him to be so horrified, and meets her husband face to face.

Judging by his expression, it looks as if he has just met Tobirama, and the woman is extremely embarrassed when he lifts her over his shoulder, abducting her from the market and concluding her shopping moment.

"Madara what the fuck! Put me down now!" She yells angrily, slamming a fist into his back and trying to lift her head to keep all the blood from going to that area. He doesn't comply with her demand until a few minutes later when they are in the privacy of their home, and away from any prying eyes.

"What got into you?!" (Y/N) exclaims indignantly, trying to understand what could have affected him enough to not even say hello.

"Who the fuck was that man and why were you conversing so cheerfully with him?" He asks with both loathing and resignation, expecting a terrible answer from his wife. Maybe it was her lover, maybe it was the person she would want to replace him with, or maybe she already had.

"He's one of the guards you assigned to take care of me today, you idiot! He was with me all day, under your own orders! Don't you even register what you decree, all day locked up in your office?!"(Y/N) is overcome with indignation, being indirectly accused of unfaithfulness wrongfully.

The Uchiha is speechless, not knowing what to say about it. He deals with so many things per day and at the same time, he tends to forget one or two matters. He feels disgusted for having assigned such a weak warrior as his wife's bodyguard, but even more so for not being able to remember it. The stress was consuming him to such an extent he was beginning to forget important things, skipping some and erasing others altogether.

"Even if that hadn't been the case, seeing me talk to another man doesn't give you the right to freak out like that! Interacting with people of the opposite sex doesn't mean I'll be looking to cheat on you, Madara! Grow the hell up, and learn to respect me as your wife, or it ends here!"

Enraged, (Y/N) storms out of the house, leaving a stunned and shocked Uchiha in the middle of the room. The only thing Madara is thankful for is the fact she didn't take off her ring, which could mean two things: either she didn't notice, or she doesn't see it as serious enough to genuinely leave him. Either way, he feels terribly guilty, and can't understand how he lets himself be driven by jealousy like that.

Unfounded jealousy, even worse.

The Uchiha is left pondering in solitude before he goes off to find her, determined to apologize on his knees if that's what it takes to get (Y/N) not to be angry at him anymore.

[mikuni14]

Phee and Tan sitting in a tree P-L-O-T-T-I-N-G 🥳

I already rewatched episodes 1-4 once, when it turned out that Phee knew Non, and I even joked that when it turns out that he was working with Tan (there were already theories that Tan was New), I would have to watch these episodes ONCE AGAIN 😄 Not that I'm complaining! I love this series and when I like a series, I love coming back to it. I was going to do it now, especially after episode 10, where the characters were behaving weirdly, but after reading @tbhimnoteasyonmyself fantastic post, I don't have to do it anymore (although I still plan to, maybe after the finale?) because everything is written there 😍

While watching Phee's telling his story to Jin, illustrated with his scenes with Tan and SCENES OF TAN HIMSELF, I kept thinking, wait a minute. What? This is his story, why is he telling shit about Tan, where's his version? Later someone pointed out, that so far, the series has shown events as they are. And yet, suddenly we have a story, and only from one POV. And this story surprisingly whitewashes Phee and makes Tan a monster.

There's a lot that can be said about Phee, but I never got the impression that he was a coward, that he would gossip about someone he was so close to, just like that, even with Non he wasn't a petty bitch. No matter how angry Phee was at Tan, his pretty much nasty behavior as a friend, exposing him to Jin and then the rest of the crew, was completely ooc. And who would he do it for? For them? His "friends"? Are we sure Phee considers them "friends"?

That's why I watched episode 10 again, and the second time it seemed even more strange and raised a lot of questions. Like that scene in the temple:

how easily Phee accuses Tan. He thinks that Tan created a whole complex and based on a series of random coincidences, yet effective plan to kill Por, he thinks that Tan killed Deng by stretching a wire in broad daylight when someone could have noticed him, he thinks that Tan planned another complicated, based on a series of random coincidences, and yet a super effective action with a scooter, luring Top to the temple, poisoning him, hypnotizing him and sending him home to kill people???

Phee talks the most about Tan, portraying him as the biggest threat, and then starts telling a tearful story, "you don't know what I did", "it's all my fault", "I was so terrible towards Non". What's interesting is that Phee doesn't cry in this scene (at least I don't see any tears, although the lighting isn't good), and as we know, Phee cries easily when he's in pain

what effect does Phee achieve? JIN CONFESSES

TA DA! 🥳🎉🏆

what is Phee's reaction to this - a sigh that sounds like a mix of relief and triumph. And disbelief.

another interesting fact: Phee reacts the same way as to Non's "betrayal", at first he seems unable to believe what he hears, then he starts to pace around furiously, trying to control himself. The only difference is that Jin, unlike Non, does not fuel his anger by staying quiet..

During this time, Tan:

tries to calm Tee down, he wants White to take his gun 🤔

interestingly, later he doesn't stop Fluke when he has a gun! 😏

When Phee and Jin show up at home:

Phee informs everyone that Tan is Non's brother and that he WANTS REVENGE

REMEMBER THAT EVERYONE IS HIGH 🚨

Phee creates an atmosphere of threat, revenge that they deserve, and that it's about Non

REMEMBER THAT EVERYONE IS HIGH 🚨🚨

and what's happening? Phee conveniently doesn't have to say more about Tan and Non, because right after that Fluke takes action, steals the gun, has hallucinations, and kills Top

REMEMBER THAT EVERYONE IS HIGH, they just saw a murder, emotions are running high and they feel trapped 🚨🚨🚨

I watched Tan because I love him from that moment on, he is very pleased with the development of events, he is not angry with Phee at all, Phee also suddenly forgets that Tan was supposed to be the biggest monster and a threat

they both actually behave as if they were playing roles, they recite their lines like they're children in a school play, they play the good cop and the bad cop?

what is the effect of all this: TEE FINALLY STARTS TELLING THE TRUTH!!! 🥳🎉🏆

So I have to ask: How were Phee and Tan supposed to get information about Non after getting the boys high on the first night at the party, as Phee said to Jin? They were supposed to be having a great time and then suddenly Phee and Tan would start questioning them about Non and they would just... blurt out everything? 😆 When did Phee and Tan start getting information? NOW.

So, isn't it the case that Phee and Tan rightly guessed that only Tee could know what happened to Non, because the only one capable of making someone disappear is his uncle? There's a lot to be said about the other guys, but they probably don't have the ability, strength, or stomach to "disappear" a person. Probably not even Tee, but he may have something else: INFORMATION.

Did Phee betray Tan in this ep? I'm 99% sure not. They both watch calmly as the rest of the "friends" accuse each other. Phee pays special attention to Tan AND to Tee:

Isn't the most important thing for them (or for Tan especially) is discovering the truth that Tee knows, and the rest is just an accidental casualty of their war? Jin may be important to Phee, who might even want to protect him... but maybe not? Maybe Phee has a moral problem with all of this, but he doesn't feel morally better to stop Tan, seeing what all their "friends" started has led to, and even though he doesn't agree with him, he won't bother him?

(While watching episode 10 again, I also noticed this:

The shadow in the left corner was moving, it looked like there was someone else in the temple with Tan and Top. Non? Perth? Or maybe that woman Keng was working with?)

EDIT: so what I'm trying to say is that Phee and Tan could work together and manipulate others to obtain information about Non, regardless of the costs, and in Tan's case even enjoying the "costs". At least I would like it to be so 😉

Of course, I may see something that isn't there, want to see something more, have too high expectations of DFF. I'm pretty sure that's not the case, but like my dear friend @italianpersonwithashippersheart I've also seen too many good shows that screwed up the ending... But I still have hope 😚 DFF maintained a high standard for me throughout its 10 episodes. Even if they fuck up the ending, even if everything that surprised me in this episode turns out to be me cosplaying Fluke and seeing things that aren't there (and cosplaying Top, because I'm hypnotized by Tan), it's still 10 episodes of excellent content 💖

[allgoldenelite]

NOAH New Year show translations

Rather than reposting the screenshots from Twitter here, I'm gonna make my tls an original post here on Tumblr.

bummers ahead, please proceed with care

Ibushi: (tl link)

"I got scammed by a place called C5 Clinic* that I tweeted about before, which has branches in the whole country. Please be careful, everyone.

I think NOAH will release information about my surgery and bone fractures and dislocation and such. I'm sorry to everyone for the inexcusable match. Everything is my fault."

*this clinic specializes in adipose tissue stem cell treatment

Ibushi: (tl link)

"Sorry for the late message. I think there will be a detailed report from NOAH, but I'm letting you know that my left ankle is a mangled mess, and I'll have surgery for the right [ankle] ligament. I think there will be a release [by NOAH] soon.

I'm really, really sorry."

Ibushi: (tl link)

"I've come [this far] with the goal of getting 20 years [in ring career], so I think it might be time soon [to quit] being an active [wrestler]. I still have a lot of contracts and such left so I'll see those through!

I try not to think too much about the negative things or the future and stuff like that, but I have a lot of things [to do] like taking care of my mother, so when it's time I'll talk about it! Don't miss a single match😊 ‼️ "

Jake Lee: (tl link)

"It's not about whose fault it is or anything like that

Everyone awaits you standing in the ring again

That's what I believe."

more under the cut

Marufuji: (tl link)

"Good morning. [The] Ariake Arena [show] was a couple days ago.

I'm going to assume that you understand that as professionals, we have to share perfection with everyone.

I feel sorry to the fans who, spending good money and valuable time, came to watch what could not meet the expectations, if you listen to a lot of the opinions.

I write "a lot of opinions" because there are people who hold a different opinion than that.

I can't write in detail here about the two different sides, but...

I think among the staff there are probably people from either side.

So there are among the wrestlers.

"As professionals, we have to share perfection with everyone": In the end, I've certainly learned a lot from being unable to share that.

[When you're] going for sharing perfection, it's also important to take big risks.

I myself ascribe to both.

But when you gamble, sometimes you fail.

I think as people, we often want to walk the path that's safe for ourselves. I think there is an incredible amount of pressure on those who challenge themselves to taking big risks with shows that they have a responsibility for because many other people aside from themselves are involved.

I want to convey my thanks to those people. And at the same time, I want to urge [everyone] to work hard so that we, based on what happened, change the things we can change and head for a brighter future.

There have been a lot of developments on the part of the wrestlers as well, so I think it'll be exciting as long as everyone can keep their professionalism.

I wasn't able to watch New Japan's Tokyo Dome show yesterday, but the news were everywhere.

In the end it is frustrating.

And also I, you know [...]

I wasn't able to show what I'm made of at all.

I think personally, I have to try and search for something new. That goes for moves and for where I stand as well.

I feel like if I don't, then [my career] is just going to end like with me as a boring wrestler.

Because I'm a guy who does what he decides to do (I [shouldn't] say this myself]...

Look forward to it."

underneath that post was a reply by someone going:

"I agree with the risk taking thing. But what bothers me is, I think Ibushi is under contract with AEW for the time being, however through this failed gamble he got injured and I worry about how the other side [AEW] is going to react to that. Looking at it that way, I think I can't agree with a gamble that involves a wrestler from another promotion."

and then someone else replied to that:

"Ibushi came into this already injured so you don't have to write that Marufuji injured him or something, do your research before you post"

and to that Ibushi replied: (tl link)

"I was in the best condition I could've been in to walk 500 meters, not exactly [have a] match. But I gave in to [NOAH?] negotiating with me 3 or 4 times like 'can't you please make it work?' It's my fault."

NOAH: (tl link)

"An announcement about Ibushi Kôta's medical diagnosis

As a result of a thorough examination, Ibushi Kôta, who suffered injuries during the NOAH Ariake Arena show on January 2nd, has been diagnosed with a complex injury of the lateral ankle ligament of the right foot, along with a rupture of the tibiofibular ligament of his right leg.

Regarding the left foot, there will be a separate thorough examination and dedicated treatment.

As soon as we learn more we will let you know further.

We deeply apologize for any inconvenience and concerns we caused the fans and every single person involved, and ask for your understanding and cooperation."

[anhed-nia]

As I get older, I keep encountering this change that happens to my friends who become parents, where even the most hardcore horror devotees among them lose their ability to enjoy anything that involves an imperiled child. I don't think it's just because worrying about kids is now a lived experience for them, I think it probably has even more to do with neurological changes that happen to the brains of new parents. A friend of mine once remarked that she could feel in her bones that she had become a different person after having kids--and it wasn't about her expanding life experience, it was that she could sense some fundamental change in her very makeup, of the kind that neuroscience describes: "I can't tell you how, but I know I'm just not the same person I used to be anymore."

I was recently at the home of a devout horror fan with two small children, who started hinting in this fraught way that he'd just seen something that made him sick and ruined his life for like a week. He kept stammering and gasping until I told him that if he didn't spit out what it was, I was going to wring it out of him like a sponge--and he probably didn't find it rewarding when I said, "Oh, THAT movie?" (But it was his own fault for bringing it up so dramatically!) SPEAK NO EVIL I thought was just-fine, but nothing about it made it significantly more disturbing than any other, similar movies--unless you're specifically bothered by the presence of kids. In truth I find it more disturbing when elderly people are threatened on screen; to me they're just as vulnerable as children, and I respond to their fragility. But it's like, why does age really have to impact our sympathy responses at all? My best friend often rolls her eyes at the part of the opening TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE monologue that says the film's events are "all the more tragic in that (the victims) were young." Or what's up with those BABY ON BOARD car window decals, why isn't it enough that there's a PERSON on board? People might say they respond to young people being menaced because they have so much life yet to be lived, or because children in particular are more helpless, but I tend to think it's some deeper, reptile brain thing that makes many people react automatically to the very idea of children in peril, some preservation-of-the-species thing that goes beyond sentimentality.

Anyway, when I told another horror-loving parent that I was going to watch SKINAMARINK (which I found imperfect, but very beautiful and occasionally terrifying), he had a reaction I didn't expect. He fixed me with a meaningful gaze and said emphatically, "I mean...TWO KIDS, waking up at night, and their DAD IS GONE??" I don't know if I can handle that!" I found this really funny because I'm pretty sure that most people relate directly to what they see on the screen--like I'm pretty sure most audiences of SKINAMARINK related the on-screen terror to their own remembered fears of navigating a dark house at night, and also to primal fears of abandonment. The most typical way to watch any movie is to relate to the experience of the protagonist you see before you. But my friend, who has two small children, without even having seen the movie, was relating to the absent father, who is barely a character in it. Instead of relating directly to the experience the movie described, and to his own memories of childhood, he instead imagined his children alone, and the helpless feeling he would have as a dad unable to reach them, and that was like...I found that very novel of him. But I guess you can watch movies any way you want!

[psychosophy]

OK I'm gonna make an analysis post (This is Radiken's typology alt hi)

BUT I have very many thoughts about these classpects, but I'll start with an overall analysis of each (this is purely speculation and my own opinion! My opinion heavily differs from other's and since classpects are so subjective, I might be wrong)

Maid of Doom: Maids are like. The opposite of a destruction class in my opinion, they actively have little of their aspect so they have to create it as compensation, whereas a prince would have too much of their aspect and have to actively destroy it.

In this, we can assume that a maid is someone who creates a literal doom, though this isn't necessarily a negative thing. Doom is just as much about healing as life is, but in an emotional sense more than a physical sense. Doom players are people who understand the negative of life more than the average person. They're not necessarily negative people, but they usually are pessimistic but at the same time idealistic, wanting to make things better. They're practical and actively want to help.

In the case of a maid of doom, they'd be someone who's probably had a less than eventful life, but would consistently self destruct (which seems to be a major theme in the story based off of Kirby's classpect). They would break the things around them. They're still helpers and healers, wanting the best for others but actively destroying their chances to help the people around them.

They might be a negativist, feeling like the world is a self-fulfilling prophecy where everything inevitably gets worse and feels like everything's their fault, but they keep the habit of destroying because it's all they know.

Doom can also be about a sense of control, so you could think of their destruction as a way to have control, to have power over something, though this the "doom means constraints" is mainly a theory that I've mixed opinions on :P

As for knight of breath, knights are a class of protectors and self loathing invididuals (?) which might not be the best term for it but like. I mean people who take care of themselves less, not because they're inherently selfless but because they don't see themselves as worthy of protecting.

Knights are also known as one of the most insecure classes, especially revolving around their aspect. It's often theorized that knights lack their aspect, but I don't think that's true, their insecurity with their aspect comes from how it's used. Knights only know how to harness it as a weapon, they do not have a positive relationship with their aspect as they see it as something to be used and not something that's part of their being

Breath is about freedom, specifically freedom from bonds. This doesn't make breath players anti-social or introverted, but the need to be free from the expectations and judgment of others.

In this case, a knight of breath would be insecure over their bonds with others, feeling the need to keep as many people as close as possible without realizing what they need to do is give them freedom. A knight of breath would probably feel constrained, unable to realize they don't necessarily need to surround themselves with others to be happy, and no matter how much they love the people around them, that freedom is the most important virtue to them.

They would literally protect others with freedom as a construct, which I think fits Kaz considering how they reacted to Kirby's absence. They immediately decided he just needed to be free from his constraints, and they understand that on a deeper level (even if not overtly).

This also works well with the maid of doom, as Marion would most likely self destruct by forcing contraints on herself while Kaz is trying to break those constraints. It might be a tug of war (in which the winner will likely ascend first) but, yet again, this is just a theory about doom LoL

I went into bard of hope in the comments, but I'll go over it here as well!

Bards are a passive destruction class, in my opinion meaning they destroy without realizing it. In the case of a bard of hope, they'd be destroying faith.

The thing is, bards have so much of their aspect inside of themselves, but they passively destroy it, so it looks like they have none. Take Gamzee as an example, dude is FULL of rage (as shown during murderstuck) but unknowingly destroys that shit, putting on the visage of a calm religious person.

In this case, my theory is one of these two things: Bard of Hope Kirby is self destructing, feeling like they've lost all hope in humanity and decided to run away because of this

Or

This is Kirby "ascending" (metaphorically), finally stopping destroying their hope and deciding this was the best course of action, having faith in the universe that he'll end up somewhere better.

AS FOR THEORIES AND SPECULATION REGARDING THIS:

-Marion is going to hurt someone (in a literal sense). This could be anything from a major injury, accidentally hitting someone, or even straight up murdering someone. She'll probably feel BAD about it tho LoL

-Kaz is going to be one of the people witnessing what Marion did, and is going to try and cover for them

-Kirby is either doing real bad or real good, there's no real inbetween. I wouldn't be surprised if they found him and he was straight up dead, or if they found him and he was living the life of his dreams...really depends which route we're taking LoL

-Destruction will play a major role in this and specifically the destruction of oppressive systems

-I think the ending will be somewhat happy, though more likely bittersweet. Optimistic is a better term for this, more like the characters are going to go through terrible shit but the ending is like "Things r only gonna get better !"

Umm that's all I got, hope u enjoyed LoL

Noticed u reblogged homestuck stuff and I've been reading summer vacation so I must ask...if the two main charas had classpects, what would they be? And do u know ur classpect (sorry for classpect questions I'm autism)

NEVER BE SORRY THIS IS SUCH AN INTERESTING QUESTION. i love using classpects as a form of media/character analysis so:

marion is a maid of doom. she causes doom, i literally can't elaborate more because i would spoil the WHOLE COMIC. she's also very pessimistic in most aspects and tends to be a reality check for kaz. i'll be honest this was a REALLY HARD pick for her-- other options i was considering for her are sylph and rogue. marion is also quite literally doomed to fail-- low grades, a lack of motivation and anxiety about growing up dooms her to never leave her home, even though the choice is hers to leave. she also dooms others in the comic, caused by her choices. marion's moon is derse.

kaz is a knight of breath. she uses her personality and flexibility to get what she wants. she quite literally breezes through life without much struggle, and tends to be personable and easygoing. she's good at making friends wherever she goes because she's pretty perceptive and adaptable in social situations. she is a protector for spoiler reasons. she also visibly weaponizes her upbeat side to get marion to drop a negative topic multiple times in the comic already. kaz's moon is prospit.

i'll give you a freebie too-- kirby is a bard of hope and he's prospit. take that as you will JKFHDJSKF

i'm personally an heir of time! thank you for the ask !!!

[atozfic]

but, first, the reckoning.

⎘ fic type: drabble.

⎘ pairing: gn!reader x jeon jungkook.

⎘ genre: werewolf!jungkook, unrequited love (?), implied idiots in love.

⎘ warnings: angst, smut, mating system, underdeveloped supernatural world within the fic, descriptions of v*mit, bl*od and de*th, mentions of dr*g usage, open ending !!

⎘ description: there are only three things you need to know: jeon jungkook loves you, jeon jungkook is dying, and it's all your fault.

⎘ word count: 3.3k

⎘ author’s note: my fill for the @tohokuu fantasy collab. let's not address how lacklustre this is to my past fics, or the fact i've not published anything all year, let's just rejoice i finished writing something.

deepest apologies for a posting delay due to an accidental mischeduling on atozfic's end: scheduled for the 31st of august, was actually due the 31st of july.

masterlist.

navigation.

this is all fiction. none of the events in this story truly happened, nor do they reflect an accurate portrayal of how the members would behave or feel in these situations.

© atozfic, 2022

the night is one where hands shake, bones ache and hearts break.

outside the door, there's a cacophony of noise blending together. a song's thumping bass, a drumming of hearts beating erratically within the chests of dancing drunks, a riff of different voices all growing louder in an attempt to be heard over one another. it's headache inducing, yet it's not the cause of the pounding inside his skull.

inside the stranger's bathroom, the bass is every shallow breath he pulls into oxygen-hungry lungs, the drumming comes not from jumping bodies but a sink that's not quite been turned off correctly, drop after drop clashing onto white porcelain and mixing with the red from his veins, diluting it into a sickening colour similar to the oxidation of a rusted metal.

his hands, though weak and unreliable, hold a grip on the surface and are the only thing separating his tired limbs from collapsing onto the dirty tiles below.

"five things i see..." his usual boasting voice is a shadow of it's usual self, barely above a whisper under the artificial light. "the, uh, soap dispenser, a snapped hair-tie, a half filled bin, a used razor and... me."

he's trying to remember what namjoon had told him about, the tools he'd given him to ground him in a moment like this. instead, he's stuck on the broken sight he catches in the reflection of the dirty mirror.

changes in appearance are a main symptom, he'd known that long before the aching had even begun. what he hadn't known was how drastic the change would be.

expecting tired eyes and cracked lips, the sunken-in look on his face and the growing rottenness of his flesh is almost too much to handle.

if he were to be truthful with himself, a courtesy he's unable to extend towards you, he'd been in denial at first.

it's just a stomach ache, i'm just nauseous from dodgy take-out. because that's really all it started as, nausea. at first, whenever you were near, then whenever you were mentioned, then when he thought of you, until eventually it became a permanent part of his life. he would wake every morning, the sun would rise, the clock would move forward, the nausea would dance on his insides.

the headaches were what pushed or, more accurately, forced him to unveil his predicament to the others. they'd been expecting it, waiting on it ever since they'd accidentally stumbled upon you in the little cafe, a pretty outfit and a dreamy-eyed complexion while you giggled at the person sat across from you.

jimin had been empathetic, the first to pull him in for a bone-crushing hug till he pried him off when expressing it was hurting it.

taehyung had been angry, even if misplaced, ranting over words of integrity and birth rights and defiance of fate. i told you, we all told you, that you needed to let your secret out. why won't you just be honest with your mate? why're you letting this happen over an implicit rejection? like he had any control over the way his beastily dna reacted to the feeling of heartbreak.

namjoon had been logical, pulling him out of the room for some privacy. sullen expression, he explained what this meant, what would come next, what symptons would follow those he'd begun to present. you've already progressed to the second phase, the headaches. the nosebleeds will come next, alongside the hallucinations. then, a loose control over beast and man while your insides reject your bodies own attempts to keep your heart beating, until the pressure and pain all becomes too much and... crack. your heart breaks, literally.

the remnants of dried blood coat the rim of his left nostril. pulling in a breath, he watches the image of himself reflecting back at him. a walking corpse, more dead than alive, one foot in the grave while the other idly kicks back at every one of life's painful attempts to remind him of how much he misses you, despite his efforts to convince himself otherwise.

he'd been doing so good, having the first semi-normal night in weeks. sure, his stomach had been doing more flips than a gymnast's olympic routine and his brain felt as if it were growing too big for his fragile skull, moments away from bursting out through his ears, eyes, mouth and splattering across the four walls of the cramped kitchen he'd spent most the night chugging back various cheap liquors in. but he'd been able to lose himself in the frat party, allow him to feel like not a thing had changed and he was just another student who's only stress was how to fit studying into a busy life of sex, drugs and partying.

this false reality all came to a hault the minute he caught wind of a familiar smell.

velvet oud, fresh daisies, home.

for a moment, he reminisced on the before times. on the times he'd get himself a little too drunk, a little too high, a little too everything, and someone, anyone would call you up. you'd appear before him, like a guardian angel, smile always sweet and voice never scolding as you'd let him wrap his arms around you. he never remembered the journeys home but never forgot the mornings waking up next to you, your eyes still shut and giving him the chance to fantasize about the future, the one where he no longer has to keep a secret locked in his chest that you're his other half, the predestined love of his life, the kind of future where waking up to you is a habit more than it is a gift, and seeing your eyes open promises a flurry of sleepy kisses and lazy lovemaking, rather than a growth in the distance between you and joke about how he's sweating out the alcohol all over your poor, freshly cleaned bedsheets.

the smell of something darker, a hint spice that stabs at his throat like a thorn of a rose had him tumbling back into the now times. the times where your calls go unanswered, messages no longer opened, name-calling ignored on campus.

you'd tried so hard to ignore his obvious avoidance the first two weeks. and, while he thrived at how much effort you were putting into not letting your best friend turn his back on you, he crumbled in the way he had to fight back harder to get the unspoken message across: he didn't want to see you.

for reasons you didn't know, for reasons he couldn't tell.

he could sense you growing closer, panic consumed his soul, unprepared to see you for the first time in this setting, with a drink in his hand, with pupils blown wide, with him by your side. before he had the chance to see how such a reunion would go down, a drop of blood landed in his drink.

you promised you'd let us know when it got worse, hoseok had never sounded so betrayed, eyes focused on the centre of his face, the dripping faucet of red making a mess all over his inked hand.

"jungkook," he wretched at the sound, mouth clamping shut to hold back the contents of his stomach long enough for him position himself over the toilet. a knock came to the bathroom door, as if he didn't already know there was someone on the other side. "are you in there?"

he coughs up all that he can, and when there's nothing left in his stomach, his lungs join the party. one, two, three, four chest shaking coughs and a gooey, red tinted substance splashes onto the rim of the toilet seat.

that's new, he thinks. and thinks, and thinks, mind trying to get back to the excercises namjoon had given him.

"four things i can smell," he takes a grip on the toilet lid and heaves his body back into a standing position. "blood, beer, old pauperie, you."

if the sounds he was making before weren't enough, the flushing of the toilet should be suffice in confirming his presence within the bathroom.

it hurts to breath, there's now a miscellaneous stain next to the blood on his shirt and his hands can't quite seem to get a grip on anything but, at least, when he makes his way back to the mirror on shaky legs, his skin is no longer rotting.

the hallucinations, he thinks the obvious, they're getting more realistic.

so realistic, in fact, that he sees you standing behind him in the doorframe, mouth agape and eyes bordering on crying.

"oh my... jungkook, what's-" your voice has never taken that tone with him, not even in his darkest nights when he'd be high in the clouds with no one to bring him back down but you and your caring hold. heartbroken, emotionally mirroring how he was physically feeling. "have you been using?"

he wants to lie, wants to say no, wants to shove you out the bathroom and scream at you to leave him alone.

instead, he mutters your name like it's a warning, a blessing, a curse that's been cast upon him, the feeling of missing you nearly as bad as the feeling of loving you.

your gaze burns over every inch of his skin that it inspects, from the tips of his bitten fingernails to the drained look on his face. it's instinct to look away when your eyes reach his own, so afraid you'll stare too deeply into his pool of despair that you'll fall in and drown in the sounds of his overthinking mind, have your lungs crushed under the pressure of the secrets he's trying so hard to keep.

"let me help you, kook."

you're the opposite of help, he thinks but never says. he couldn't cast out words so cruel, not to you.

never you.

always yours, and that's the problem. how can one belong to someone who's none the wiser?

"or i can just... go, if that's what you need."

he knows he should say yes, let you walk out the door of the bathroom and his life. he wonders if you'd slam it as you leave, or not quite close it over in hopes that, eventually, he'll call you back in.

but the flood gates open with no warning and every inch of paranoid heartache seeps through his blood, veins working overtime to deliver it to every fibre of his being. tiny little daggers in the shape of longing and need and gut-wrenching love pricking at his skin and all giving him one simple command: make you stay.

with energy he does not have, he moves across what feels like the ocean-wide distance between both you and him, no warning given before he's pulling you into a coffin of arms. your own remain plastered to your side.

he knowns you can hear- or, more accurately, feel the way his chest shakes with every intake of breath. and, that once you do eventually give into his embrace and drag your hands up the expanse of his back, the sweat covering every inch of his skin doesn't go unnoticed.

he wonders if you feel the drop of blood stain your skin as he burrows his head in the space between your neck and shoulder, or if you catch the hiccups he's releasing while holding back rib-shaking sobs.

he wants to ask if you're suddenly overcome with emotion too, if the weeks of no speaking took a toll on you so badly it's rendered you a shell of who you used to be as well.

"i'm worried about you." four words never hurt so much.

"i'm sorry." his lips brush over your skin as he speaks, goosebumps rise in the path the movement leaves behind.

"why're you sorry?"

"for making you worry."

you squeeze him tighter against you, and it somehow makes him whole and rips him apart. heart beating faster at the prospect of you wanting him closer than physically possible, body screaming as pain licks up his tired limbs like a fire dying to keep itself alive.

who knows how long the pair of you stand like that, arms in a tangled mess, bodies so close the tips of your feet are pressing down on his and chests rise with syncopated breathing.

he doesn't think about all the things he should, like how the stains on his ruined shirt are likely making a new mark on your own outfit or the fact your boyfriend's cologne remains a lingering scent in the hair he's currently burrowing into. instead, the cruelty of imagination takes over and images swirl behind his closed eyelids: the embrace you share morphing into lips being pressed to lips, kisses leading to confessions, confessions leading to his bed- which, in itself, brings forth images of bruised skin from your neck to his own, and hardened nipples glistening with traces of his saliva, and fingers pulling on his hair as he devours you into a crying mess, the very same fingers that scratch masterpieces into the skin along his back as he holds you in a mating press-, and from his bed to the rest of your lives, lives where you never say goodbye when it gets a little dark outside and he never has to smell that smokiness on you ever own, replacing it with his own cinnamon infused essence.

it's almost like neither of you want to address the elephant in the room, you never mentioning the fact jungkook's been avoiding you like the plague and him never uttering an apology for doing so.

there's a part of him that can't help but wonder if you know the truth, if you've known all along- taehyung had always been a little looselipped after a couple shots of tequila- and have just been playing dumb, hoping it'll go away if you never speak it out loud.

heaven knows he's been wishing that were possible.

"it's, uh," he's the first to pull back, though it kills him more than the rejection. he clears his throat, hoping you believe him to be ill instead of holding back tears. "good to see you, really."

"jungkook-"

"but you should go." he cuts you off, he has to. the sound of your voice only makes you feel more real, and that's the last thing he wants you to be right now. "back out to the party. i'm sure yeonjun's looking for you."

the pounding in his head feels a little stronger and the sick feeling increases at the mention of his name.

"yeonjun's not here."

"why not?" he sounds more accusatory than he intends to, heart becoming jaded every time your boyfriend is the topic of conversation.

"we, just... yeah." you're dancing over the topic, eyes suddenly plastered to the ground instead of his bloodshot ones. "we broke up."

his heart pauses, the music outside comes to a halt, the planet stops spinning for a blink of a moment. everything is upside down, inside out, the truth is false and lies are honest.

the sun no longer burns, he's not slowly dying and you're not dating choi yeonjun.

when the moment passes, only one of those statements remains true.

"i'm sorry, i didn't know-"

"we've not exactly been talking, have we?"

"did he at least... give you a reason?" he chooses to let you have your dig, not even bothering to give a reason behind the ignored the calls or the missed meet-ups.

"no," your eyes are now on the shower curtain behind him, scanning up the various stains along the once white fabric. the offensively bright bathroom light shines a reflection in your eyes and it reminds him of the nights spent gazing up at the night sky before you were both grown up, nights where he swore the stars would freefall all the way from outer space and land directly in your wide eyed gaze. only, he never remembered your eyes looking as sad as they do now. "i was the one giving reasons. i ended it."

"why?"

"i just... i realized he's not really who i want to be with, and it's not fair to string him along over a teen-like crush when there's already someone who i'm in love with."

this is it, he thinks, the final blow to knock his lights out for good.

if the implicit rejection of hearing the words this is my boyfriend, yeonjun were enough to send him down this path that leads to peril, heart cursed to a fate of tearing itself in two, then he can only stand in shaking fear at what explicitly hearing you name the person you're in love with will do to him.

perhaps he'll die on the spot, put an end to drawn out process.

he contemplates, for a moment, just letting it all off his chest. throw away the silly promise he'd made to himself, one where he swore to never tell you about the fated bond that had formed between your soul and his, too cautious of you fearing a life where you feel forced to be with him and too enamoured with the thought of watching you fall in love with him slowly, naturally, no outside pressure. like normal, non-canine-infused relationships do.

it's too late now, though, so he holds back the confession like always.

"who?"

you sigh out his name, eyes somehow having found their way back to his. he leans in with anticipation. he's twisted, broken, dying, and he wants to at least know who he's leaving you behind for. wants to know that, if he can't have the luxury of loving you, the person who does actually deserves it. but you're not saying anything.

you're just staring.

and staring.

and staring.

and staring.

he stares back. he blinks one, two, three, four times. on the fifth, he rubs his hand over his eyelids, wondering if that'll clear up his vision and show him reality, instead of yet another deadly hallucination.

you're still there when his eyes reopen.

"y/n." he whispers, voice trembling while he struggles to find it. he feels sick to his stomach watching you look at him the same way he's looked at you for years now, like everything begins and ends with him. longing, loving, belonging. it's all he's ever wanted from you, in the worst way it could ever happen. "oh, y/n."

because here you are, loving him, and there he is, dying.

he'd thought the fates were cruel before, when they cursed him with a mate who would never want him the same way, a whole different species that could never understand the all encomposing emotions of a lupin in love. turns out, they're far crueler than he dared to fear, letting him begin the process of losing his life to his mate's rejection, only to flip the switch and reveal his mate loves him, wants him, sees him in the same star-littered light.

he's spent so many years waiting for this moment, imaging how it could play out, yet he never expected this.

he can't talk, or think, or make sense of anything that's happening. all he can do is inch closer, lean lower, hold you closer before he finally gets a taste of what it's like to love you.

he's seen what it's like to love you, in moments where you're sweating in his living room and demanding a rematch against taehyung at whatever song you'd just done on just dance. he's smelt it, when you crash into his arms with giggles and uttered hellos in the middle of campus, sending a cloud of your perfume and natural scent right up his nose. he's heard it, too, on halloween nights where he'd drag you to scary houses and witness you call out to him every time you got scared, hand clutching onto him to reassure yourself he was right behind you. and he's felt it, in every moment his heart beats harder around you, whether you're snoring a drool patch onto his couch or you're spinning under shinning lights, with a pretty dress and a forgotten prom date.

and at last he tastes it, when lips press to lips and space ceases to exist. it's not rough, nor as desperate as he expected it to be. a hand lays flat against his erratically beating chest, while one of his own finds a resting place on your warm cheek, the stroke of his thumb over your skin mimicking the way his tongue meets your bottom lip, searching to taste more of you, all of you, in just one kiss, savouring what might be the only chance he gets.

when he pulls back, red paints your lips.

[0rchard]

Minor do not interact

🍎 𝓟𝓪𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰: Yamaguchi x f!reader

🍏 𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰: stepcest, femdom, masturbation, footjob, degradation/humiliation(if you squints)

🍎 𝓐/𝓝: So 👉👈 It's my first time writing dark content/smut scenario i only do hcs usually, it's also my first time writing for the haikyuu fandom. And I do that for my first hq crush 🥺 Anyways! This scenario is a part of the hqcest collab made by the amazing @dilfsuna ! Thank you Mabel to let your 😌💅 anon take part of it!

Yamaguchi didn’t know when everything went that wrong. Was it when he started to have a wet dream about you? Or maybe when he started to jerk off at the thought of you? Or has everything always been wrong since the first time you were introduced as his step-sister?

Probably all of the above… And things surely took another turn when both of you had to live together once you got into college, financially not able to pay for two different flats.

It was probably at that moment that everything started. He thought you would never notice how he always insisted on doing the laundry. He thought you would never notice how at least one of your panties was missing and magically was back again the next laundry. He thought you would never notice how he was looking at you when you bent in front of him to grab something. He thought you would never notice how painfully hard it makes him. He thought you would never notice how he quickly excused himself to his room. He thought you would never hear his voice moaning your name as the moon was rising high in the sky.

He thought he could do abstraction of his feelings because it was wrong. You were his step-sister and he shouldn’t feel like that toward you. And yet, was knowing that it was wrong preventing him to do what he was about to do? No, it didn’t. 

Your flat was silent, only the light buzzing noise of the fridge could be heard in the living room, as he crossed it to go into your room, his heart beating fast, so fast that it was almost painful. Each beat was making his body shake a bit more as his trembling hands quietly turned the door handle of your room. You were out, needing to grab something at the grocery store near your flat.

He knows he didn’t have a lot of time, that it was risqué, that he had to be quick. But he couldn’t help it. He needed to know if they were there. The black panties you’ve been chilling in yesterday, only wearing them and a loose shirt. They were his favorite ones, he thought they were the ones sublimating the curves of your ass the most. So when he noticed they weren’t in the basket laundry today, he was pretty sure that you left them somewhere in your room. It's not his fault if you left them there… As a good step-brother in charge of the laundry, he should be sure that no dirty clothes should be left behind right? 

Even he knew it was just because he wanted to smell it. To smell you. To get off at your scent again and again…

His heart stopped to beat ofr a moment as he op, noticing them innocentlyheart stopped for a second as he opened your door, spotting the precious panties, standing there, on the ground, innocently. 

He could already feel his cock twitch into his pants, as he could smell your sweet scent surrounding the room. He knows he doesn't have a lot of time, that he should be quick, just taking the panties and leaving would be the less risqué thing to do, but something about getting off in your room sent shivers of excitement down his spine. It's not like he would last long anyway, he never did when he got off with your panties.

He brought the dirty panty to his face as he took a deep breath in, his nose against where your core was supposed to be, freeing his hard cock from his sweatpants. 

"F-fuck… You smell so good…" a small whine escaped his lips as he sat down on the ground, one hand brushing against his cock, but not totally stroking himself yet. 

He shyly tugs out his tongue to give a quick lap to the crotch of your underwear, hoping it could give him a light idea about how divine his step-sister was tasting like. 

Another whine left his lips as he felt the sweet taste spreading in his mouth. 

"So good… you taste so good…" 

He was now sucking on it without a shame, high-pitched noise of pleasure leaving his mouth, redness of his cheeks covering a bit his freckle. He was already panting, his eyes closed as he hoped he was licking your wet pussy instead.

His cock twitched, the tip as red as his cheeks, asking for more attention. 

One hand stroking his dick, the other playing with his nipple, as the panties were stuffed in his mouth, his tongue licking its crotch, eyes closed, he could already feel his end coming. 

He was moaning again and again, and if it wasn't for the piece of clothing in his mouth preventing him to talk, he would probably moan obscene things like "Please, let me taste you", "I beg you sis' you smell so good", "I'm sure your wet pussy taste even better..." or even worst "I love you so much, sis…"

His hand was stroking him faster, without any regular rhythm, as continued to whine. He pinched his nipple, making himself arch his back a bit more and his legs shook under the overwhelming pleasure. Your panties were now soaked in his drool, letting some escape, rolling down his chin. 

He was so lost in pleasure, so lost in his own fantasy, imagining that he wasn't sucking your panties but that you were sat on his face instead like he always dreamt about.

He wanted to feel your thighs squeezing his head between them. He wanted to make his hands run on them, feel your soft skin. He would kiss them, again and again, leaving small marks on them if you allowed him to do so. And as he would come closer and closer to your crotch, he would be able to see how wet you already are, how wet his affection made you go. He would be a bit hesitant at first, giving quick laps on your panties to hear you moan, before putting them aside and finally… finally tasting you… 

Maybe if he wasn't that lost into his mind, he would have heard the door of your flat open. And maybe he would have also heard your footsteps going toward your room. He would probably have heard too that you shouted that you had forgotten your wallet in your room. But he didn't.

Neither did he hear the door of your room open… And he barely registered your voice calling his name. 

"Tadashi? What are you-"

He froze up, his eyes widened, looking at you terrorized. What were you going to do? How would you react to see your step-brother jerking in your room, your dirty panty stuffed in his mouth? 

And yet, he couldn't explain why but the shame, the humiliation provoked by being caught by you doing something so dirty, so forbidden… It excited him, it was such a delight that he almost came from that only, or maybe that was because of the sight of your bare thighs that he just fantasmed about. 

"I-i could explain!" he quickly said, taking off the panty from his mouth, whipping his drool away, trying to hide his hard cock the best he could.

What could he explain exactly? How much did you turn him on? How perverted he was? How the scent of your dirty panties sent him to heaven? That he always dreamed to be between your thighs to taste his sweet sister? That he always wanted to suck on your nipples? That he always hoped to one day fuck you slowly on the couch, to prove to you how much he actually cared about you? To prove to you how much he loved you? How did he want to kiss you, to hug you, to be there for you in another way than your step-brother?

He gulped as you silently walked toward him, not saying a word, nor showing any emotion. You were thinking he was a dirty pervert, he was sure about that. He was also sure you will tell everything to your parents and that he would be disinherited, that you will expose him on every social media, telling everyone how dirty he was… He was screwed. His whole life was screwed. 

He was surely not excepting the sudden pressure of your bare feet on his cock, which made him moan in a loud way. 

"So like that you jerk off by using your step-sister panties? You're such a naughty boy Ta-da-shi~"

His eyes widened, as he could feel excitement running in his blood. The way you were looking at him… The way your eyes were clouded by the same lust than him… It made his cock twitch under your feet.

"I said I could explain I- Ah!"

He could feel your foot putting more pressure on his cock as a pitiful and ridiculously loud whine left his lips. 

"Shhh~ Keep quiet Tadashi, the walls are thin, you wouldn't want the neighbor to hear you, or… would you?"

He shook his head from right to left, unable to say a word that would turn into a moan. He was heavily panting, his heart pounding in his chest. Never in the best scenarios, he made by his imagination did such a thing happen… And deep down he wished for that to not be another of his wet dreams about you.

“Look at you Tadashi~ All worked up from your sister's dirty panties scent~” Another loud whine escaped from him. He already felt so pitiful, so horrible to act like that. It wasn't good, it was not okay to feel like that… They were step-sister and brother, what was wrong with him? He wishes he could go back in time to prevent himself from feeling like that but… Now that it was happening… He couldn't deny how good it felt. How much he loved that. How much he loved her. 

"You're a loud one huh? It's not like it really surprises me, you're always so noisy when you get off in your room… Moaning my name~" you teased him as your feet came up and down on his dick, already leaking in precum

He felt shame burn his chest. So you know how he felt since the beginning? You were acting like that on purpose, knowing how it affected him? 

"What a shame, I would love to hear you moan my name again and again as you rut against my feet, but I can't take the risk for the neighbors to know what's going between us, right Tadashi?"

He nodded again, as he opened his mouth when you presented to him the panties that were already stuffed in his mouth some minutes earlier.

"You're such a good boy Tadashi~ Knowing how to act to please me…" 

Was it the way his name sounded awfully sexy when you were the one saying it or the way you called him a good boy that made him arch his back a bit more and bucking his hips for more friction?

He could feel his arousal already building up in his stomach, and his cheeks turning into a darker shade of red as muffled whine escaped him again and again.

"That's it Tadashi, be a little good boy for your sister" you whispered at the ear, nibbling on the lobe of his ear. He bucked his hips, even more, as his moan became a bit louder, but overall, needier. 

He was looking at you with so much love… so much adoration… so much lust… it was such a beautiful face, the same as you ever imagined when hearing him reaching his end and moaning your name out loud in his room. 

"You want to cum for your sister Tadashi?~" 

He nodded quickly, his heart beating faster and faster, sweat starting to pearl on his freckled skin.

"Then cum for your sister, pretty boy~" you whispered before softly kissing his cheek, lifting his face with your hand, to be sure to not miss anything about the beautiful expression you could see on his face.

His back arched, head thrown back, as his whole body was shaken by a powerful orgasm, his loud moaning that even the wet piece of clothes in his mouth couldn’t stop echoing in the room, while the white loads of his cums were staining both his stomach and your feet.

With a devilish smile, you looked down at him again, whipping out the cum of your feet on his pants, down his ankles, as if it was nothing more than a doormat.

Picking up your wallet on your nightstand, you looked at him again. He was a mess, panting, legs spread, wide open, as his cum was slowly dripping down his belly.

“Since I got what I’ve forgotten home, I can finally go to the grocery store now. You better be rock hard again when I will be back, understand Tadashi? I’m sure you wouldn’t lose an occasion to feel your dear sister’s pussy around your cock just because you didn’t behave well, right?” 

He eagerly nodded as he gulped. 

"You're such a good boy Tadashi…" you softly kissed him on the lips, after taking out the "gag" out of his mouth, vaguely able to taste yourself, before finally leaving the room.

The panties you were wearing were soaked in your excitement… Maybe that you should lend it to him as a reward tonight? He surely would be the happiest. 

[under-sedationnn]

the arcana: main six reacting to injured! reader

anonymous: Could u do m6 reacting to mc coming home injured? I want some hurt/comfort >:))

Warnings: talk of being injured, blood. if that bothers you or tiggers you in anyway, please scroll away! i want this to be a safe place, only :)

thanks for the request anon!! i hope you enjoy!! <3 requests for the kissing prompts and physical affection prompts are STILL OPEN. please send them in with the character of your choice (which could be any character from any series i write for) and i will create an imagine!! thanks and happy reading!!

- tries his very very best to stay calm

- you can see panic bubbling under the surface

- faust is on high alert

- slithers around your shoulders and squeezes you for a hug

- "friend! hurt!"

- doesn't immediately ask what happened, just gets you to a comfortable place to be cleaned up

- then, and only then, will he brave to ask what happened to you

- or who did this to you

- wipes the blood from your skin with very gentle swipes

- winces when you wince, and apologizes profoundly

- "Y/n, how did this happen? i thought you were just taking a quick trip to the market."

- "i fell in the market, tripped over a stone"

- "and nobody helped you?"

- in this case he's disappointed with the bystanders, but does not become angry

- in a situation where someone hurt you?

- oh god

- "Y/n, how did this happen? i thought you were just taking a quick trip to the market."

- "yeah, well, somebody had their eye on the same apple i picked up. somehow, though, they managed to push me to the ground and steal it from my hands."

- i don't even think he would know what to say

- and asra is not really the type to march out into the streets of vesuvia and seek to challenge the one who hurt you

- but he would certainly hold a grudge against whoever it was if he did find out

- and would feel absolutely awful about letting you get hurt

- his mind would race about the possibility of losing you again

- because he simply can't handle it

- and what if that person had been particularly violent or malicious? what if you had been taken??

- you'd have to comfort the hell out of him to make sure he knows that you're okay

- "asra, hey, i'm fine! i can handle myself, you know that"

- "you're right, and i know you're right. it's just hard"

- "it's still hard for me, too. the market still makes me a little nervous and i got caught a little off guard, is all"

- that would make him feel better

- would finish patching up your wounds and would make sure to bring you to julian the next day if they were too bad for him to fix or needed stitches

- would also create a special brew to help with the pain and ease you to sleep

- "why don't i go down to the market tomorrow?"

- "why? so when you pick a fight over apples, i can pay you back for all of this high quality medical treatment?"

- "well of course, surely you didn't expect all this tender love and care to be free" *wink*

- panicked doctor mode enabled

- immediately begins checking you over, asking questions

- something tells me it would be a head injury of some sort

- "oh darling, what happe- you're bleeding!"

- "julian, i'm okay! it's just a little scratch"

- "no no no you might need stitches, come sit down. i'll go get my kit!"

- there's really no use in arguing

- he has cold ass hands, so he tries to warm them up before he begins suturing the wound

- tries to be gentle, and his expert hands move quickly without any snagging

- "so, how did this happen?"

- his voice is literally trembling

- "well, i was in the clinic grabbing the list of ingredients we need for our next grocery trip and there was a puddle of... something on the floor. i slipped and hit my head on the corner of your desk"

- immediately thinks it's his fault

- like "oh shit i should have cleaned better that could have killed y/n and then what would i have done-"

- doesn't necessarily voice this, but you can tell by the silence that follows that he's feeling really guilty

- would kneel for you, head on your knees

- "y/n, i am so sorry"

- "juli, it's really okay, i should have watched where i was going"

- "i'll make sure to clean better from now on, okay?"

- would guard you throughout the night in case of concussion

- nurse juli <3

- but let's say someone had put their hands on you

- would patch you up the same way, and apologize profusely for not being there with you

- tuck you into bed and fetch mazelinka to keep an eye on you throughout the night incase of a concussion

- would most definitely be self destructive and seek that mf out

- maybe not successfully, but would try his hardest

- "i'll be back in the morning, get some rest"

- "I can find them myself if I want to, you know"

- embarrassed blush

- because he KNOWS you can take care of yourself

- "of course, but right now you're hurt. as your partner, i will do what must be done on your behalf darling"

- probably shows up the following morning with battle scars of his own

- the guards found you in the garden, passed out in the maze

- blood trickled down your arm, a large gash marking your bicep

- ran you up to the palace and immediately to the medical wing

- them]n nadia gets word

- the calm, collected queen act disappears

- abandons anything she's doing, anybody she's talking to

- "we will finish this at a different time, i have more important matters to attend to"

- she is so worried and it's honestly adorable

- very much giving "where tf are they?" energy

- god i love her so much

- anyways um

- asks the nurses over and over what happened, if you're okay, etc.

- watches the physicians and nurses like a hawk as they clean the wound and suture the cut

- and they're so intimidated lmao they never come face to face with her literally ever

- brushes your hair back from your face as they do so

- holds your hands

- would demand that you be brought to her sleeping chamber

- so that's where you wake up! how cute

- she's laying beside you, her brows furrowed

- maybe even her eyes are a little hazy

- "y/n, sweetheart, do you remember what happened?"

- patiently waits for your answer, you're still a little groggy

- you were either attacked by an animal and passed out from the fright

- or you were attacked by an armed person and was knocked out

- either way, the guards are on it

- nadia isn't letting whoever or whatever did this get away without a fight

- the palace is meant to be a safe haven for you

- for the both of you

- "well, don't you worry, we'll take care of that"

- you try to sit up but she won't let you

- "oh no, you must stay down, y/n. you are possibly concussed from the fall"

- "oh okay, sorry"

- "is there anything i can get you?"

- the countess of vesuvia, serving you in your time of need

- "just some water would be nice"

- "of course, i'll have some brought up right away"

- i literally feel like he would just start crying straight up

- cause like he has some problems anyway

- he big sad boi

- and you coming home to the hut bleeding from a gash in the arch of your foot is not helping

- picks you and carries you to the bed without a word

- just starts examining the cut

- inanna is also very concerned

- she licks the blood from the cut, she's trying to be helpful

- meanwhile muriel is stumbling around the hut looking for anything to stop the bleeding, disinfect it, bandage it, anything

- but he's not the best about keeping that stuff in stock

- keeps looking back at you with worry in his eyes

- he doesn't know what to do

- "muriel, let me see if i can contact asra. maybe he or julian can bring me a salve. i'm pretty sure i'm gonna need stitches"

- low-key makes him feel worse

- cause he feels like he's unable to care for you and keep your safe

- even tho this was just an accident

- he's breathing really fast, his anxiety creeping

- agrees anyway, but goes to get them himself

- "i'll be back soon, just keep this piece of cloth pressed against it"

- cause you're bleeding like a lot

- inanna stays behind

- he returns very quickly with julian in tow, though he doesn't look happy about it

- leaves the hut without another word

- julian gets to work immediately

- "so, you cut your foot i see"

- smartass.

- "yeah, muriel always tells me to put on shoes when i walk in the woods but i love to feel the grass beneath my feet"

- julian chuckled at this

- "and i'm assuming you, what, stepped on a rock?"

- "...yeah, sliced it right open"

- after julian is done cleaning up the cut, he tells you to just stay off of it for a while and make sure it doesn't get infected

- once he's gone, muriel trudges back into the hut

- "muriel, baby, it was just a cut it's not a big deal"

- but his eyes look hurt, and you beckon him toward the bed

- "hey," your hands on his cheeks, "i'm okay, really"

- "sorry, i just got scared. blood is still a trigger for me and since you got hurt in my woods, i felt like it was my fault"

- "muriel, of course it wasn't your fault"

- he really needed a hug

- after this instance, he made sure to keep medical supplies in the hut and you promised to try and wear shoes in the woods more often than not

- "i'll try my best to be more careful. deal?"

- sweet lil smile

- "deal."

- "oh my god, y/n, what the hell happened??"

- you were tending the garden

- without her supervision

- and the garden sheers might have sliced into the palm of your hand

- deep

- brings you over to the sink and runs water over the cut, covering it with a towel when the dripping blood had been washed away

- girl is on the move

- cause she knows what to do! love that

- low-key a main reason why julian managed to live as long as he has

- pepi is curiously perched atop one of the counters, peering down

- finds her personal first aid kit she had stashed in the bathroom

- guides you over to sit on the counter while she tries to figure out what to do

- "damn, you really cut yourself, y/n"

- "sorry! i think i just got a little carried away"

- she giggles at that, though she is still worried about the fact that it won't stop bleeding

- gently wraps the cut in gauze and adheres it together

- places a kiss to your fingertips

- "all done! no more gardening for you!"

- "hey, why not?"

- "well you don't want that cut to open back up again and again, do you?"

- "no"

- "alright then," she smiled, moving to put away the first aid kit again, "and we're going up to the palace medical wing first thing tomorrow morning to make sure it's not infected"

- eye roll

- "yes ma'am" you mocked

- even though you know it's just because she loves you

- "but since you got hurt, you want me to bake you some cookies?"

- "only if you let me eat the dough!"

- good god do i love this man

- but he is so self-absorbed it's actually insane

- and I feel like he wouldn't even notice at first

- cause he's too focused on himself

- gazing into the mirror without a care in the world when you walked in

- "y/n, thank goodness you're home, how do you feel about these pants?"

- you just hobbled to the nearest seat, hand resting over the gash on your knee

- mercedes and melchior were lazing across a rug at the base of his mirror, their attention set on you

- "u-um, yeah, they look good"

- literally just trying not to bleed out, over here

- "good? oh really, now, y/n don't they look amazing?"

- "yes, they look ama- ow, damnit"

- then he turned around

- immediate shock and worry! oh no oh no y/n is hurt!

- mercedes and melchior walked over first, whining as they took in the cut, brushing around the edges

- lucio raced over, squatting down in front of you, and began examining the cut

- "hey, hey, what happened?"

- "i accidentally tripped on my walk in the garden and scraped my knee on the cobblestone"

- he was lightly touching around the cut, gauging how sensitive it was

- when you flinched he stopped, looking into your eyes with a soft "sorry"

- "i think i need to go to the palace infirmary"

- "oh there's no need, i can take care of you!"

- you were not convinced he could take care of you, at least not well

- "uh, lucio, are you sure?"

- he looked slightly offended, at that

- "you know, y/n, i did fight in battles at one point. i have not only tended to my own wounds, but the wounds of others, as well"

- you giggled at the thought

- "much to your protest, though, i'm sure"

- he moved to the small cabinet of medical supplies in the ensuite to your bedroom, returning to your side with it in hand

- "at points, but i don't mind helping you in the slightest"

- for all of his antics, his soft side was enough to make you fall in love all over again

- and although i know he would take care of you in literally any situation, i can't say for certainty that he would stick around and place nurse lucio for long if a person had hurt you

- attacked you

- much like nadia, the guards would be sent out without a second thought, lucio leading the pack in the search for you aggressor

[oriharaizaiza]

It's interesting how Kyohei is just casually hanging out with another gang member from the blue squares, and initially seems to get along just fine. His values aren't all that straight forward; he's fine with the general idea of attacking Masaomi, even if he himself considers this fight below him. His only real concern is being caught by the police when it comes to a straight forward fight. Though Masaomi is a kid, the fandom often forgets he's also the leader of an active gang, which, although they didn't particularly start any fights or wars, is still highly violent in it's defense. The characters in the books on the other hand definitely do aknowledge this fact and therefore treat him much more like an adult.

Of course... When it comes to kidnapping, mutilating and raping a little girl... Hmn yeah that clearly goes too far. I think we can all agree with Kyohei on that one, but it actually isn't surprising that this behavior is cheered on in gang culture, is it? Certainly leaves a bad taste in my mouth to remember how relatively normal this kind of thing likely is in that sort of underworld.

So of to the rescue they go—

Evidence for Ran Izumii being among the biggest shit holes in this generally highly questionable series... Right there. Even the blue squares closely in league don't seem entirely comfortable with the absolute disregard for Saki as a person he's speaking with here.

Enter Walker, who's good mood was immediately doused upon seeing her.

Walker's 2D fantasies are as unrealistic and entertaining as always. I personally don't think he actually believes it though, despite Kyouhei's earlier comments about the two Otaku's not being able to tell reality and fiction apart. I think if anything, it just serves as a perfect distraction. I absolutely would believe that Walker has a hero complex though!

Don't play with fire people, you'll get burned. Even Walker did, and we all know it wasn't his first time. He just had different priorities in the moment. We'll have to admit though, it was very effective, even stopping them from being able to give chase right away.

In the short ride away from the scene, we know;

1. Everyone saw Masaomi, and nobody blamed him from being unable to manage on his own. He is, after all, just a boy.

2. The police shows up suspiciously fast after Khouhei and crew escape the scene.

3. The remains of the blue squares got in trouble with the Awakusu, of all people, right after.

4. And picked a fight with Shizuo,

5. Which Izaya then conveniently made use of to 'frame' Shizuo.

6. Izaya moved to Shinjuku right after this incident.

This smells of a typical Izaya style revenge scheme to me. I don't believe for a moment that he was okay with what was done to Saki, or that he intended for it to happen because this is exactly how Izaya reacts in other times where people he cares about are hurt by somebody else.

Izaya obviously has a lot of issues with expressing affection, but I'm pretty sure this is it, these over-the-top revenge actions, since it's pretty damn consistent who he does it for.

I actually think that Izaya's mocking attitude towards Masaomi later in the hospital, and his disregard for him in the 'current' time also have to do with being disappointed and angry at the boy, for being a coward and betraying Saki. It's hardly an excuse- he's just a kid after all, but it explains.

And finally I'm suspecting, since it's put this way, Shizuo was probably at leat party responsible for the thing he got arrested for? It was probably Izaya's fault he ended up in whatever the actual situation was in the first place, but seeing how shizuo was at this point in time, he probably did some non-excusable violence on his own accord.

Also this means that the remark about their 'rivelry being set in stone' in the first book, refers to this point, only two years ago. So their fight before that were actually of a friendlier, less serious nature??

A little while later, once Saki already has recovered a bit, Kyouhei's crew runs into Masaomi at the hospital.

The interaction is quite telling for how everyone believes Masaomi should be treated. Yes, he's young. But he's not a elementary school child. He's a teenager, and he made the concious choice to get into fights, and to keep his gang once he realized he had one. He even chose to keep his gang after realizing he could protect his friends by breaking it up. Masaomi can and should be expected to take responsibility, HE made these choices, nobody else did.

And still Kyohei gave him a way out, telling Saki a lie for him, letting Masaomi bury the past and move on with somebody he's supposedly in love with, should he chose to.

He does make a choice in the end. But he still courses to run- just with a little bit more closure than simple avoidance, as he ends up breaking up with Saki.

Kyohei really was being cool, and he definitely has an impact on Masaomi! I'm not sure if it was a 100% positive one in this case, but he did the best he could've. It's not Kyouhei's fault that Masaomi is an idiot.

Leave it to Erika and Walker to totally ruin it though. Though I have to say, reading under the bedsheets? Training your ears to hear your parents approach? Relatable.

[technowoah]

Stuck In a Room

Its hard to be funny while stuck in your room.

- Tommy innit x platonic reader

- OOC Tommy (out of character)

- the first one in my huge special masterlist.

Now playing...

Look Who's Inside Again.

(Stuck In a Room)

Bo Burnham

0:01 ─●──────── 3:29

⚠︎ swearing, angst, confusing feelings, not proofread. Thats it :)

Part of my Inside Special!

"Trying to be funny and stuck in a room

There isn't much more to say about it"

He sat at his desk just staring at the computer screen infront of him. His room was dark only for his LED lights and his multiple computer screens. Tommy had his phone on his desk with jokes typed on it. He couldn't find the fuel to turn on his stream and joke around. He had made a video today with Wilbur and Tubbo with some scripted jokes that didn't land well, well at least he didn't think so.

He was always in his room. It was hard to find inspiration through the internet. There's no one to laugh, there's no one to react. Tommy was struggling, he felt unproductive in his room he felt stuck in his chair unable to leave it only when his mother calls him for dinner.

"Can one be funny when stuck in a room?

Being in, trying to get something out of it"

He was happy with what he did, it's becoming a safe haven a place away from the outside world. He has friends and a family online, but he also has friends and family in real life. The world is fucked up, but the internet can be also. The internet laughed, well at least he thinks they do, when he makes a joke. He had a couple of friends who thought he was funny in real life. One of them was currently downstairs with his parents. It was his fault for saying he was going to stream 10 minutes ago and never started streaming.

Tommy felt bad letting his close friend talk to his parents when in reality they came for him. Right now he couldn't get anything out of, he couldn't get that joke right, he couldn't find his rhythm in this space in this situation he put himself in and couldn't get out of. Tommy wasnt going to let himself go until he got what he wanted.

"Try making faces

Try telling jokes, making little sounds.

Uggg!"

He still stared at the jokes written on his phone and wondered what else he could do in this atmosphere. Comedians had their stage, or even a director and a film set to work on. And Tommy had three monitors a microphone with no live audience. Was it worth being here and trying so hard to make people laugh? Was it worth blowing off his friend to chicken out of streaming to try and get his work corrected.

This was a thing he loved, he loved making faces, telling jokes, and seeing people's reactions. He tried that so much that it became a routine for him, trying different things to joke around and through trial and error he found out slowly what they liked, but it was hard to tell with the usual people who hated his content and the people who watched every upload.

Sometimes the videos, the jokes, the faces didn't even see the light of day and are either left in a folder or sent to his friend who he trusted with his content.

There were days he didn't want to stream, nor make videos. He just wanted things to himself. It was cliche, but a bunch of jokes were written down in his notebooks and anywhere he could write them down. He then kept those jokes to himself, they had no use for what he was doing with YouTube now, maybe they will see the light one day.

"I was a kid who was stuck in his room

There isn't much more to say about it"

Tommy knew he wanted to do this for the longest. He was stuck in his room watching his inspirations and trying to find his own path. That's why he made his first channel, he was always in this spot. He was determined to be where he was now, and he still sat in the same spot. Hes in the same predicament. There's nothing much to say about it.

"When you're a kid and you're stuck in your room

You'll do any old shit to get out of it

Try making faces

Try telling jokes, making little sounds"

He seemed normal back then, Tommy remembered back to his past and thought he was normal. He went to school, hung out with friends, came home, did his homework, ate, and only worked for a small bit of time on his videos. Later on he started working on YouTube videos later at night and not getting much sleep for school. The weekends were all-nighters, he became more invested in YouTube so all he did was that and school.

Tommy hated staying still, he moved around his room, went outside. Now he never went outside unless needed he to. Unless his friends wanted to.

Tommy joked around with his parents, to try and go places when he couldn't drive. Tried to convince his parents by making faces, jokes, and little sounds to annoy them into finally taking him to where he wanted to go.

Now these things were adored or hated by many of his fans. Tommy always if he kept his jokes to himself and tried a different approach to comedy or entertainment.

"Well, well

Look who's inside again

Went out to look for a reason to hide again"

His fans knew alot, they knew he was hiding from the internet, they knew he went looking for another way only to be found back in this chair with the "Go Live" button taunting him.

Tommy knew he was hiding from the world. He was hiding from his friend downstairs, but he sat here knowing that his fans wanted more, they wanted Tommyinnit. They knew he was inside, they knew he was dormant, they wanted content. Tommy had to get his groove back, his jokes back to get his confidence back to stream.

"Well, well

Buddy, you found it"

For Tommy it was hard to explain, but he felt unproductive, unmotivated, but now he had it. He had jokes, he had motivation and hopefully it wont go away for him and his fans. Tommy finally moved his mouse and clicked on that button satisfying the wishes and making his feelings even more complicated and his guilt subside.

You walked up to Tommy's door to knock softly, but you had gotton no response. You tried again, but the same thing happened.

"Tommy?" You slightly yelled enough for him to hear behind the door, but not loud enough for his parents to complain.

"Tommy!" You yelled and knocked again trying to get your friend to get out of his room.

It's been a while and you havent heard an "I'M LIVE!" or "DONT COME IN IM STREAMING!" from him yet.

You assumed he wasn't streaming or he wasn't even talking during the stream. You slowly pushed open the door, but something stopped you from going inside.

"WELCOME TO THE STREAM BOYS!"

You closed the door and went back down the stairs.

"Is he streaming, honey?" His mom asked.

"Yeah, he is." You said somberly.

"Now, come out with your hands up

We've got you surrounded."

Taglist: @annshit

[gojo-satoru-brainrot]

I Don’t Want a World Without You. Eren Jaeger x Reader

Request from @shittypaperwork

A/N: This took me forever to write this. I wanted it to be perfect. I really hope it is. Also, my asks are open for AOT smut (Disclaimer I do prefer to write in Canon Au but not opposed to writing Modern AU if I like the idea.) , Jujustu Kaisen smut. But please enjoy!!!!!!

WARNINGS: SMUT!!!, slight breading kink ig, name calling, slight Dom!Eren. Unprotected sex, Canon AU,

WORD COUNT: 3.5k

Your friendship with Eren was unlike any relationship you had experienced before. You both joined the Scouts after the attack on Wall Maria. You both bonded over the losses you both endured that day. Eren sought out revenge on the Titans. His hatred and rage fueled his desire to become a better soldier. You wanted a better understanding of the outside world. Why all the memories came fooling back in the middle of a titan ambush you had no idea why. A giant hand came out from the shadows of the forest directly aiming for you. You didn't have much time to react before Eren swooped in and grabbed you.

"(Y/N) you need to pay more attention," Eren said right before the titan grabbed the wire to his ODM gear causing him to fall to the ground several hundred feet below.

"Eren," you screamed out. Your heart pounding in your chest as you locked eyes with the titan. Suddenly, a red hot burning sensation rushed through your chest and up your face. Tears started to form in your eyes as you maneuvered around the giant trees. Finally finding a vantage point, you zipped over the titan and your blades cutting deep into its nape. It fell to the ground dust and debris flying above its lifeless body. The feeling still stuck in your chest, but it was different something lingered beneath the surface. You located Eren, and you looked at him the feeling became stronger as you watched him lay there, blood dripping from his head on the ground under him.

You were irrevocably in love with him.

There was no time to confess to him your newfound feelings. He needed to get the infirmary. The more you realized your feelings for him, the more you realized it would never work. This world was unfair and unforgiving. There was no room in the world for love let alone a relationship, or that's what you told yourself. The pain you would feel if Eren didn't reciprocate your feelings would tear you apart inside.

Two weeks had passed since the ambush in the forest and your feelings had remained the same, in fact, they had gotten stronger. Your whole squad had made it back alive, which you were grateful for. Eren was rushed to the infirmary due to his extensive injuries. You didn't sleep most nights so you would sneak down to see Eren. You held his hand and changed out his bandages being very careful not to wake him.

"(y/n), you have to let him rest," quickly turning around you saw Armin standing in the doorway.

"It's my fault this happened," the tears started to swell up in your eyes. Armin grabs your hand leads you outside.

"B-but Eren," you stammer looking back at him.

"He's going to be fine while you're gone". You looked up at the night sky, gazing at the stars above you. It was late, you didn't realize until now. How long have you been sitting by Eren? An hour? Maybe five. A cool breeze hits your face as you sit down beside Armin on the bench just outside the infirmary.

"You're so concerned about Eren. If I didn't know any better I'd say you're acting like Mikasa," he laughs. You chuckle slightly. You had been so wrapped up in making sure that Eren was okay that you had forgotten what it feels like to relax. Memories of you and Eren flood your mind.

"Armin there's something I need to tell you. I can only trust you with this information," the blonde turns to look at you.

" I'm in love with Eren". Armin's face gets all red and he turns away.

"So why are you feeling me this? Shouldn't you be telling Eren?"

"Because it would never work out the way I want".

Eren was finally recovered enough to leave the infirmary, but he was strictly prohibited from any training, missions, and extraneous activities. You have been avoiding him for days, unable to come to terms with your feelings you thought it best to stay away.

"You're eventually going to have to tell him you can hide from your feelings forever," Armin said to you quietly.

"Shut up, Armin," you punched his shoulder just a little too rough. He winches in pain, and you touch his arm.

"Sorry." You start to blabber about how you're used to hitting Eren because he can take a hit. You didn't realize Armin was trying to tell you that Eren was right behind you. A slight punch suddenly hits the middle of your back causing you to fall forward into Armin's chest. You turn around quickly to see you hit you. Your eyes lock with Eren's, trying to speak, but nothing comes out of your mouth. His green eyes peer into yours. It feels like your entire being is melting into the palm of his hand.

"Shouldn't you be picking on someone your own size," Eren smirks at you.

"Uhhh," you fumble your words trying to form a comprehensible sentence but fail.

"I gotta go!" You said quickly as you darted off somewhere far away from Erin and Armin.

Finally catching your breath you stood in front of the shower house you are reminded of a prank you pulled on Eren just a few months ago.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a long day of combat training and Eren was the first to use the shower, like always. Connie dared you to sneak into the men's showers and take Eren's clothes and hide them in a nearby bush.

"Easy! You should come up with a harder one next time," you smirked knowing this was going to be way simple. Quietly you snuck in being extremely careful not to slam any doors. You glanced around trying to find Eren's clothes, the steam from the showers making it hard to see. Stumbling into one of the benches close to the showers.

"Fuck that hurt."

"Hello? Who's there?" You heard Eren call out. Your heartbeat quickened as you heard the water turn off.

shit shit shit where are they?

Finally, you found the clothes tucked away under the bench. You guessed this isn't the first time this happened to him. You balled up his clothes and ran out. The steam made your hair stick to your forehead as you threw his clothes in a bush.

"Nice going (y/n)!" Connie gave you a high-five. Both of you waited for Eren to realize his clothes were missing, but to both of your surprises, Eren walked out of the showers butt-ass naked with only one of his hands covering his goods. Your jaw dropped at the sight of him the sunlight made his wet skin glisten. He shook out his hair causing water droplets to scatter around him. You followed the water as it dripped down his toned chest and pass his carefully carved abs. Your eyes followed the v line just below his abs.

"My eyes are up here! Now, where did you put my clothes, darling?" Eren steps closer to you feeling the heat radiate off him from his shower. Your mouth stayed agape and all you could do was point over to the bush. He made his way over not bothering to cover his ass.

"Well, that was fun," Eren chuckled as he pulled up his pants and let them sit on his hips unbuttoned.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Wetness started to pool in between your thighs, causing you to blush from the intrusive thoughts of Eren. You looked around to make sure no one would follow you. After stepping into the shower, you took your clothes off, and neatly folded them, and placed them on the bench. You pulled the curtain closed in hopes of having a sliver of privacy. The cold water rushed over your body and hair. Your nipples became hard as the cold water ran over them. Your mind began to imagine Eren behind you and what his hands would feel like as he rubbed your shoulders and softly caressing your breasts. Maybe he would snake one of his hands down your waist and tease your folds as the other would grip your neck pulling you back into his bare chest.

"Mmm. Eren," you moaned teasing yourself closer and closer to orgasm. Your finger moved faster in circles around your clit. A tightness started building up in your core and just about as you were going to come undone the door to showers swung open. FUCK! Disappointed in your attempt to relieve some stress you quickly got dressed.

"Hey (y/n)," Sasha greeted you, but you bolted past her "okay, bye!"

You didn't want to be rude to Sasha, but you had other things on your mind. All of them were Eren. Your body ached for his. You wondered want it would feel like on top of yours. Your mind kept racing all these thoughts about him and what he looked like under his clothes.

"(Y/N)! Instead of daydreaming why don't you help in the kitchen?" You were quickly drawn away from your thoughts as Levi approached you.

"Sorry Captain, I-" you tried to explain yourself before Levi shut you down.

"You're almost as bad as Eren." Eren? You clung to his name.

"What's wrong with Eren?" You ask.

"Well, since he's been released from the infirmary he's been zoning out. But enough chit-chat go help get dinner ready."

You made your way to the kitchen. Both Connie and Sasha were slacking off and having a baguette battle.

"Guys, let's do what needs to be done. I'm tired and want to go to sleep." You announce. It took about an hour to get prepped and cooked. By the time you were done cooking, you wanted to go to your room and finish what you couldn't in the showers.

After finally arriving at your room. You quickly shut your door. The rooms weren't big, but none the less you were grateful to have your own after spending a year in the barracks. The rooms were massive, but they were a decent size for one person. A desk with a wooden chair sat in the far corner and a closet just big enough to hold a few scout uniforms and a full-size bed. Still, a layer of dust covered everything although you didn't mind. It wasn't like you were going to be staying in your room all day.

You rubbed your eyes and sat at the edge of your bed, taking off your boots and jacket, neatly putting them away in the closet. You always hated taking off your harness there were so many buckles and straps, you got confused so easily. The only light to work with was an oil lamp fixed to the wall. You sighed heavily as you finished folding up your clothes and getting into your pajamas.

As you laid down in your bed thoughts of Eren came back to you. Softly you moaned as you pawed at your breast and teased your nipple. Woefully imagining it was Eren's instead of yours. You felt a wetness start to pool between your legs. Slipping your hands down your shorts your finger circled your clit. You were a virgin, but you still knew what happened you just never found anyone worthy enough. Expect for Eren.

You moaned as you came closer and closer to climax, but it was cut short again. "(Y/N)..." You had sworn you heard someone moan your name. Quickly you pulled your covers over your body as you listen to the room next to you and you heard it again. You were sure someone was moaning your name. In the room next to yours you heard the bed squeak as someone got up from it. Your heart beated faster as you heard footsteps approached your door. You closed your eyes and pretended to be asleep. The door to your room slowly creaked open. "(Y/N)... Are you awake?" It was Eren. You still didn't open your eyes as the door shut and Eren sat on the edge of your bed. He took your hand and held it and pressed it to his chest.

"I know you're asleep but I wanted to tell you, thank you for saving me, I know everyone told you to leave me but you didn't and I'm grateful. I don't know why you've been avoiding me, but I probably deserve it somehow." You heard his voice crack and you could tell he was about to cry.

"I just don't know how to tell you this but here does nothing, I love you (Y/N)." You opened your eyes and saw Eren crying.

"I love you too." You said sitting up in your bed. Your hands cupped his cheeks and pulled him in for a kiss. His lips were soft and perfectly fit in between yours. It was sweet and soft but your core ached for him. He pulled you onto his lap and brushed your hair behind your ear.

"I can't tell you how many nights I wished for this, to be here with you." Eren buried his face into your chest.

"You don't have to wish anymore," you told him as you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him again this time softly biting on his lower lips. He moaned into the kiss sending chills down your spine. He gripped your hips, his callused fingers dug into your sides almost as if he was scared you were fall through his hands if he didn't hold you tight enough.

Your hips ground into his causing a deep moan to escape from his lips. His erection grew quickly underneath you. Eren flipped you over on your back onto the mattress. He stood up and began removing his shirt. Your eyes followed the skin on his stomach as more of it was exposed. Moonlight peaked in through the window, shining on his torso. It was beautiful, hours and hours of training had paid off.

"My eyes are up here, darling" he chuckled as he climbed on top of you. You couldn't help but feel his chest and abs. His piercing green eyes looked into yours. His lips crashed into yours, it was sloppy and wet and hot. Your clothes limited his access to your perfect body. He slowly took off your shirt and kissed up your stomach and in between your breasts before he took one in each hand and massaged them. His thumb rubbing your nipples before he took it in his mouth and circled it with his tongue. Your fingers ran through his hair as you leaned your head back and moaned. He made his way up to your neck kissing and sucking on it. You knew for sure there was going to be a hickey tomorrow but you didn't care. You wanted everyone to know that you were Eren's and that he was yours too.

"Eren, I need you." You begged him to touch you. He leaned back on his calves and pulled your legs up to his chest, slowly removing your shorts.

"You're so wet for me already, have you been expecting me?" He chuckled and smirked as he pushed your legs apart. His hot breath hit your folds making you beg for him even more.

"Please please Eren!" Your cries for his touch were desperate. Him seeing how much you needed him turned him on. He was throbbing in his jeans. His finger slid up your folds and collected your wetness before he put it in his mouth and sucked on his finger.

"Open your mouth," he commanded and you did as he stuck his finger in your mouth. "Suck." His voice was deep and demanding making you want him even more. Your tongue danced around his finger you tasted yourself on his finger. His mouth attached itself to your clit and you threw your head back moaning. His tongue circling your clit making you bite down on your lip to keep from moaning too loud. Your hands found their way to his beautiful brawn locks, your fingers entangled themselves pulling slightly. Eren groaned and gripped your thighs tighter, maybe enough to leave bruises. The idea of having Eren's fingerprints lingering on your skin turned you on even more.

Eren's erection grew harder and slightly painful. He stood up from the bed and a whine came from your mouth in protest.

"Don't worry we aren't done yet. Do you know how much my hand hurts by now? I'm so glad you accepted my feelings so I can fuck you now."

"All you had to do was ask" you teased back at him "but you should know I'm a virgin." You weren't shy about it, it was just how you were.

"Well, I am too, if that makes you feel better." You sat up on your knees and began to undo Eren's pants. You could hear his moan that he held back. Your fingers slipped between his skin and underwear slowly teasing it down before releasing the waistband and having it snap back to his skin. A low hiss rolled out of his mouth as he smirked at you and his eye went darker with lust.

In a fit of lust Eren quickly removed his pants and pulled his cock out. Your eyes widen at the sight, you always thought Eren was big but never this big.

"Suck now." His tone cold and demanding. You took it in one hand and started to suck on the tip of his cock. You could taste the precum from the tip. His hand placed at the back of your head slowly pushing you further and further down. Your hands gripped his thighs as he drove his cock deeper into your face. You looked up at him, he looked so hot his eyes were rolled back and beautiful moans escaped his mouth.

"Ahhh fuck (Y/N) your so warm. I'm so close, will you be a good girl and swallow for me?" He looked down, locking his eyes with yours, you nod.

"Mmmm that's my girl." He continued to fuck your face, his hands cupping your checks. A warm salty liquid flowed into your mouth. You swallowed it and sucked the rest off his cock before opening your math to show him.

"Fuck... You're such a good slut for me." He crawled on top of you. "I'm gonna take such good care of you," he kissed your stomach right below your navel. He slowly slid two fingers inside of you making you arch your back and grip the sheets. He took his time moving his fingers in and out of you taking care to make sure you never felt any pain.

"More Eren, please..." you begged for him, bringing him closer for a kiss. He lined himself up at your entrance wetting his tip on your folds. He steadied himself by placing his hand next to your head. He looked into your eyes. "Ready, darling?" You nodded. He slowly pushed his tip in both of you letting out moans of each other's names. You momentarily adjusted to his size before he added another inch. You wrapped your legs around his hips allowing him to fully enter you.

"Oh fuck, you're so tight I could cum right now," Eren moaned into your chest. Your breath was heavy as you fully adjusted to his massive size. Eren pressed his forehead to yours as he thrust in and out of you at a good pace. You moaned and softly bit into his shoulder careful not to hurt him and activate his Titan.

His thrust because faster and faster. You moaned his name over and over again. Sweat started to drip from his forehead, you could tell he was holding back his orgasm. The tip of his cock hitting your cervix. Eren let out a chuckle.

"What's so funny?" You asked.

"I can it inside you. Look." You glanced at your stomach and saw the tip pressing the skin up. "Fuck I can't wait to fill you up with my seed." He pounded harder into you as your orgasm started to build.

"Eren I'm getting close," you mewled in his ear. His thrust becomes sloppy as his thumb played with clit and that sent you over the edge. Eren watched as your body twitched underneath him. It felt like your entire body was on ice and fire at the same time. Eren was not long after you as he slammed one last time into you and let out the most beautiful moan you ever heard.

"Ahhh fuckkkkk (Y/N). You were such a good girl for me." He pulled out and laid down next to you pulling you close to him.

"I love you. I always have. I don't care if this world is unfair and unforgiving. A world that doesn't have you isn't where I want to be." You pressed your face into his chest and slowly fell asleep.

[bonny-kookoo]

Brave Girl (J.JK x Reader) ☁️💜🎀🔞

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader (ft. Med student!Namjoon)

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut, Good Girl!AU

Warnings: Heavy angst, traffic accident, injury, hospital, Jungkook is panicking, MC gets hurt, Koo is just lost and hates hospitals :(, Namjoon being the hero he was born to be, fluffy and dramatic smut, overstimulation, mild DDLG themes, protected sex because we wrap it up in this household smh

Summary: you were supposed to be home at 6 to help Jungkook devour the feast that is the freshly baked pizza he’d made to welcome you back from your trip to your parents, yet when the clock strikes 9 you’re still not home. Just when Jungkook is about to call you since you didn’t react to his texts, he receives a call from you; and he swore his heart stopped beating. Loosing you had never been a thought in his head until now, but he might just gotten closer to this reality than he ever imagined being. And he hated it.

Good Girl || Sweet Girl || Smart Girl || Brave Girl || Pretty Girl

"Alright, do we have everything now?" Jungkook asked, helping you place your pastel pink travel bag into his car, careful not to scratch all of the sparkling and colorful stickers on it. They looked a bit worn already, but you always felt a bit upset if there was another scratch to a prized posession such as your sticker-collection- yet when Jungkook told you not to put any more on your bag, you began to pout as well. You asked with a simple nod, already excited to meet your parents again after a long time apart. Jungkook offered to drive you to the bus station, not being able to bring you there entirely because he, quote unquote, 'didn't feel ready yet'. Many would've felt offended by that, but you knew not to read too much into it when it came to him- there were a lot of things for him that were still new, and his love was strong enough for you not to question it. You were both growing comfortable at your own pace, and that was enough for now.

Your parents had understood as well, even though your father had been a little more skeptic than the rest of your family; but he'd always been a little overprotective, so it didn't surprise you at all. While you were driving home, knees against the seat in front of you, you rummaged through your small backpack, taking out a small pack of gummi bears Jungkook had packed inside. He'd been so careful with everything, insisting on buying you this specific backpack because 'it's so soft, you can use it as a pillow inside the bus so you sleep better'. Maybe you were slowly making him soft as well? You were glad however that he had packed your headache medication in as well, long rides sadly having this effect on you sometimes.

Ever since you were a kid, you've always felt safe within public transport. You've been taking the bus and train to school for years, never truly thinking about the danger it could hold. Even now, with the pouring rain outside, you felt calm. Something that would change soon.

For now however, you just noticed how the jacket of the young man next to you slowly slipped off of his lap. He was asleep, you at least thought so, but you couldn't help but reach for the jacket before it could truly fall down onto the slightly muddy floor, your own shoes slightly at fault since it was quite muddy outside before you came in and sat down. "Ah, thanks-" He suddenly said, making your eyes widen at noticing how he only head headphones in. Maybe he hadn't been asleep after all?

"No problem" You said, putting your feet underneath your butt after having taken off your shoes. Your boyfriends' advice had proven to be quite nice after all, putting on comfortable loungewear such as your soft sweatpants and a large white shirt of Jungkooks collection (he had packed it in actually) were slowly proving to be way better than your typical attire. The guy next to you- Namjoon you'd found out on your first ride, having been seated next to him as well- looked quite casual as well. Instead of his more formal clothing he'd worn the first time you had talked to him he had switched to simply jeans and a loose sweater, something that made him seem a lot younger. "Listening to a podcast again?" You casually asked him, and he smiled, taking out one of his headphones.

"No, just music this time. That whole trip kind of drained me if I'm being honest." He explained, crossing his legs before conversing further. "What about you? Had fun with your family?" He said, genuinely interested it seemed. It was rare to find someone as honest as him. At first, you had been a bit careful, knowing that men usually had intentions that differed from what they were actually saying, but Namjoon had been just as friendly as before when you had told him about Jungkook. He just said that he seemed like a nice guy, nothing more to it, and still talked to you just the same.

You nodded your head at his question. "I was kind of sad when I had to leave again, but I also can't wait to come back home!" Excitedly you wiggled around a little, before you found a good position in your seat that didn't make your legs sleep in from being bend so much Namjoon smiled at you.

"I bet. I can't wait to fall into my own bed again as well." He said, before the bus swayed a bit, making you hold onto your belongings to keep them from falling down. Namjoon leaned into the middle a bit, to look at the front window and the driver. "Jesus, he's been driving like this for a few minutes now." He mumbled, making you a bit nervous. He was a very observant person from what you'd gathered until now, your first interaction had been him asking you about your headache even though you were sure it hadn't been too noticable. He was a med student however, top of his class he'd told you, so he probably had a third eye for things like that. "Hopefully they'll change drivers soon. He seems tired." He said, and gave you a reassuring smile. "It's gonna be fine-" He said, before the bus swayed again, this time however, pushing you against the front seat from the force. Seconds later the direction changed drastically, windows shattered, and the only thing you felt when you were able to gather your thoughts again was how cold it was.

The wet ground was slowly seeping into your clothes, the weird feeling of muddy grass underneath your hands as you pulled yourself into a sitting position foreign. One of the first things you were noticing was the incredibly high pitched ringing in your ears, sounds muffled as if someone was holding their hands over them. Things were blurry, lights passing by, and something was moving in front of you. For some reason however, you were only having one thought. Jungkook. He'd know what to do. But where was your phone?

You slowly got up, yelping in pain when your knee gave out and made you fall back down again, scratching the palms of your hands open on some random branches and.. glass? Suddenly you remembered the bus, Namjoon talking to you, and then- it was as if someone skipped a video you haven't seen before, an entire fragment missing completely. You crawled out of the bushes and onto the pavement when you spotted your wet and dirty backpack, your things and several unknown items of other passengers scattered everywhere on the street. And there, just a small distance from you was you phone- the hello kitty charm ripped off and probably lost forever. The screen was an absolute mess, yet it was still working when you reached it, unlocking it with your passcode because your fingerprint scanner was a definite goner for sure. Your headache was killing you at this point, your nose running from the cold, and your mouth had a metallic and bitter taste. It started to ring. One time. Two times. A voice.

"Creepy, I was just about to text you princess. Are you close to the station yet?" He asked, you could hear the TV faintly in the background, then a little movement, his earring clattering against his plastic case he had around his phone, something that still didn't help him with his curse of breaking his screen in record time. "Hey, you there?" He said chuckling, when you eventually answered him. "Hm?" He said, suddenly furrowing his brows invisibly for you on the other side of town, ceasing his movements and instead getting up to grab the remote, silencing the TV. He could hear faint talking on your side, yet it didn't seem like casual chatter, but frantic.. almost as if someone was panicking in the background.

"I said uhm-" You started, swallowing the weird taste before looking around, noticing no movement, but someone began to shout a name, another one softly wheeping, noises increasing with every passing minute. You could faintly spot headlights behind the bus, someone driving past had noticed, and people suddenly stood at the sides. But your vision hadn't cleared yet, so maybe you just couldn't see. "I think- I think we had an accident 'Koo, I-" You said, suddenly chocking a little on the fluid in your throat, coughing to get things under control and your voice back. The mention of an accident, the way you spoke, and the cliche noise of you coughing made him get up immediately, frantically running to his jacket, reaching for his car keys. You always told him how funny it was to you how he always told everyone how organized he was, yet always loosing his car keys. Right now he wished you would make fun of him, he wished you would just say sike and reveal your joke, yet deep down he knew you would never joke about something like this.

“It’s okay baby, you’re gonna be okay, where are you?” He stresses, trying yet failing to keep his own demeanor calm over the phone. You answer him that you don’t know, and he just feels the confusion radiating off of you. Something was terribly wrong, he could feel it deep inside his veins by the way you seemed to be unable to catch an actual thought. “Are you hurt anywhere?” He asks, even though he fears the answer you might give him.

“I..don’t know? My head hurts.. I- Jungkook I think I’m bleeding, what do I do?” You stress, and feel your own panic rising in your throat, making your eyes water and nose burn. You wished you could just tell Jungkook where the hell you were but you didn’t know, streets completely strange to your eyes, shifting around like a fever dream, as if you’d never seen them before. “Kookie, ‘m scared.. I wanna sleep-“ you began to mumble, less and less conscious, your head beginning to rest on the cold ground, the bus now beginning to shift out of focus. There we’re a few people walking around and you wanted to wave, to tell them you’re here, but one of them who you recognized faintly as the guy who’d been sitting next to you during the ride noticed you anyways.

Jungkook started to panic on the other end of the line, desperately trying to pin your phones location. “No no no baby, you’re so brave, you’re such a brave girl, don’t sleep in on me right now okay?” He pleaded, growing more and more anxious the less you answered him. “Baby? Don’t stop talking to me now please.!” He said, trying to get an answer out of you. But the only thing he could hear was the soft white noise, no trace of your voice whatsoever. “Baby? Please-“ he said, eyes watering out of frustration as he noticed the sudden commotion outside, cars suddenly driving out of his nearest police station, sirens loud and clear. “Please, y/n, talk, say anything!” He begged, voice choked with unshed tears, throat closing up.

“Hello?” A stranger answered.

“Who are you? What happened to y/n? Is she okay? I-“ he tried to rush his questions as if that’d get him the answers faster.

“She’s- uh- I don’t know, the bus just suddenly lost control and she- I think she’s still breathing but uhm- look, we’re at, uh-“ Jungkook wasn’t listening after he’d gotten the information he so desperately craved. He knew where you were. He’d get to you. He needed to get to you. And for the first time ever, Jungkook actually started to pray.

He finally found his car keys, ripping the door open to close it with a loud bang behind him, TV running but long forgotten. His stubborn car door didn't open instantly, making him almost growl in anger at it, eyes watering again when he remembered how you always told him to just get it fixed instead of buying a new one. You always had this idea of things having a soul anyways, so you always told him he needed to be nice to his car, or it would be upset. Right now he was not fit to drive. He did it anyways.

He groaned at every red light, hating how he couldn't just run them over because your absolutely stupid voice kept ringing in his ear to drive safely, he hated it right now, so so much, he could've screamed at nothing right now at how enraged he was. Why didn't he just fucking jump over his own shadow and drive you to your parents? None of this would be a thing if he would just finally man up instead of cowering all the time, simply believing that his time with you was endless. He knew it wasn't. He knew one day you two would pass. But that was supposed to be when you both were old and wrinkly, when you both had kids and grandkids, when both of you had enough stupid and disgustingly sweet stories to be able to make them gag at how he would still call you his most beautiful girl. This wasn't happening. He was going to make sure of it.

He reached the destination a little too far away, cars already stopping traffic, people on the side, watching, and he felt agitated again. He decided to simply turn his steering wheel, half-hazardly parking his car almost in the bushes next to the road, before opening the door with his key and phone in hand, closing his car door way too harsh as he could hear something crack, but his legs were already making him run at the fastest pace he had ever before. His hair and clothes, the black zip hoodie he had thrown over his grey shirt were growing damp from the mild rain coming down, yet he didn't care. He had his hood up, before it slipped down, his hands pushing past people, the need to insult them for staring and taking pictures instead of actually helping strong inside his veins, yet he simply portrayed his distaste at his not so gentle shoving to get past them.

Somehow he had apparently arrived before police or the ambulance had, because there was no one there yet. "Y/N!" He yelled, his voice frantic and almost unrecognizable, even to his own ears. He could spot people laying around, some helping others, and some simply waiting for help as he searched for your figure among them. He saw some of your stuff, the travel bag you had, now wet and scratched, your backpack, thrown on the street and some small items he could recognize as yours such as the formerly white bunny jacket he had bought you before you went on this trip. "Y/N!" He yelled again, and got someones attention a bit off the side near the woodside next to the road. "Oh no-" He whispered under his breath when he could see the guy leaning a bit over you, your head on the ground below, soft socks a darker shade than usual from the moisture they had picked up by now. You were laying on your side, the young man pushing a flannel shirt against your hip. He ran straight towards you, reaching out to grab you, just to have the stranger grab his hands instead, pushing at his chest. "What the fuck-?!" He exclaimed, ready to burst.

"We don't know how serious her injuries are at the moment. If you move her you could make the damage worse." He said, serious. "It's better to leave her like this, and wait for the ambulance." He said, unable to make the younger ones angry and frustrated face calm down, but he listened anyways, knowing deep down that he was right. "Kim Namjoon by the way, Medical student- trust me, I know what I'm doing okay?" He refrained from telling the younger one that you would be okay, having sworn to himself when he started as a med student to never give out false hope. Jungkook nodded, tears finally falling as he swallowed hard, simply running his hand over your hair, trying to give you reassurance- or maybe he tried to reassure himself that you were still there. Maybe even both.

When the ambulance arrived, you slowly gained a little more consciousness again, hand grabbing at nothing. "..'Koo?" You said, unsure if he was really there or if the smell of his bodywash on the shirt you were making was playing tricks on you. He gasped, leaning down, his other hand running over your bare arm softly as to warm you up.

"I'm here, I'm here baby, you're okay." He said, this time saying these words to reassure himself purely. Namjoon noticed you shivering after Jungkook did, and he instantly took off his jacket, even though it was thin, simply to cover you up. Namjoon yelled for the ambulance to notice them, and both of the guys breathed a sigh of relief when they were running over towards you three.

However, now Jungkook had to face another fear, apart from still possibly loosing you. He hated hospitals. Not in the quirky kind of 'ugh I hate the smell of disinfectant' kind of way, the kind of 'I rather cast my broken wrist with duct tape and wooden icecream sticks just to not have to go near this place' kind of way. When he was asked if he would like to ride with you his terrified eyes looked at Namjoon, the answer he gave an unsure, yet clear nod. He had to be strong right now. You needed him right now, more than ever.

Inside the ambulance, he didn't let go of your hand. You had a hard time answering questions, so Jungkook had to step in now. He kept his eyes on your face, trying to blend out the equipment around you two to not get riled up. Someone had to be there a hundred percent. The nurse noticed pretty quickly, laying a hand on his shoulder to hopefully calm him down. "She's stable right now, okay? We'll wheel her in as soon as we reach the hospital, someone will ask you for her information since we couldn't find her ID or anything on the scene, alright?" He asked, and he nodded, clearing his throat before he resumed watching you breathe. He would've never guessed how happy he would feel just to see such a small thing from you.

A hot cup nudged his hands that were over his head, and he slowly looked up, surprised to see Taehyung of all people in front of him, his newly red hair in complete dissarray as well as his clothes. He looked like Jungkook felt if he was being honest. "Tae?" He asked, voice rough while taking the cup from his friend. His friend simply shrugged, before He sat down next to him, eyes red. "What-" He started, but Taehyung leaned back, speaking quitely, oddly calm, considering his usually loud personality.

"I-" He started, before he seemed to think a bit about how to phrase his next words. "Someone I know was on the same bus." He said. "I heard you talk to the nurse at the counter." He explained when Jungkooks brows furrowed in confusion. "They've managed to stabalize her, but she'll need surgery tonight." He said, and Jungkook wanted to ask who the person was- yet he refrained from doing so. Him and Taehyung were close, sure, but exactly that was what made him stay quiet about it. He knew when it was okay to ask, and when to just shut up. And right now, he simply nodded at him.

"So we're both gonna have a sleepover here?" He asked grimly, pathetically trying to lift the mood. Taehyung just nodded.

When you woke up, it wasn't like it was usually displayed in movies or cheesy novels. It wasn't a slow, gentle breeze from your window, or the way your boyfriend spoke next to you. No, it was actually absolutely silent, except the constant beeping next to you. You actually woke up way faster than you hoped for, your eyes opening like you've just got ripped out of a dream where you fall downstairs or something alike. You heard Jungkook groan sleepily, before he eventually moved his head a little, turning so you could see how exhausted he looked. His eyelashes looked damp, tiny hairs bound together into little groups as he sniffled, head on your hand, open palm holding his cheek as if he needed to feel you even in his dreams. The sight calmed you down.

The change of heartbeat and pulse made the machine next to you switch sounds, and soon you heard the door open, a friendly nurse walking in, smile on her face as her gaze found Jungkook still in the same position as hours before, unbeknownst to you. "How are you feeling, miss?" She softly said, quiet as to not wake the young man who had been switching between crying, watching, or sleeping next to you for the past days. You swallowed, mouth dry, and nodded towards the empty coffee cups next to you on the small bedside table. "I'll get you some water okay? Welcome back miss. I'll just check your vitals for a second." She said, and you nodded at that. Checking the machines and you, she walked out, leaving the door open so you could hear a bit of what was going on in the hallways. Footsteps and sometimes the tune of someones phone going off, random words you were too tired still to understand, and an elevator. Jungkook stirred next to you, opening his eyes after taking a deep breath, yawning before his eyes found yours.

It took him amusingly a couple of seconds before he shot up, immediately coughing from having inhaled his own saliva. You laughed at that, flinching a bit when it made your body ache, before taking him in. He looked horrible, hair a mess, eyes red and skin a bit pale, yet he smiled brighter than he did back when you bought him the new destiny 2 game for his playstation as a surprise. His eyes glistened, suddenly getting a sparkle to them before his lip started to quiver. He dropped his head on your shoulder, silently crying, but this time, he cried from relief. From happiness. From just how much he loved the world right now for giving him more time with you, for giving him a chance to be the embarrassing father and naggy grandpa he always wanted to be someday. Your arm bend and your hand ran through his hair, not minding the long unkempt locks one bit.

The nurse came back in, smiling brightly with a tall doctor in tow, who had a friendly face as well. "Good to have you back miss. How are we feeling?" He said, trying not to grin at Jungkook, who had yelled at the man several times when he'd tried to tell him to go home and rest. You were oblivious to this obviously. Jungkook raised his head a little, using his flannel sleeve to dry his tears, clearing his throat to at least try to look like he got his shit together.

"Uhm, I feel like I had to take my fitnessgram pacer test again, plus a bit more muscle pain in my hip?" You said, making the man chuckle.

"That's completely understandable considering you flew quite a distance miss. We were quite surprised that you were fine breathing on your own, considering everything. You're quite lucky; but we're gonna keep you under surveillance until friday. Your bodyguard can take you home after 12 whenever he likes." He said with a smirk in Jungkook's direction, the one spoken of growing a bit red on the tips of his ears. The doctor leaves after asking you general questions such as, if you knew the current year, your address, and your personal information such as your birthday.

The nurse left the cup of water and a straw on the small table. "I'll let you both catch up. Please make sure she drinks the whole cup, but only a couple of sips at a time alright?" She said to your boyfriend, who nodded, having calmed down a little by now. He moved, his hand a bit shaky as he ripped the top of the papercover of the straw off, before taking the plastic drinking help out of its minimalistic packaging. He put it inside the cup after bending it a bit, before he moved to you, helping you with outmost care to sit up a little. You winced a bit when you tried to move too fast, and Jungkooks face got a little more serious at this. You began to pout at him.

"What?" He said, voice still a bit rough from the lack of using- and the simultaneous shouting everytime he'd opened his mouth these days. He sighed. "Come on, you heard the nurse- you gotta drink." He said, but you stubbornly moved your head to the side, sideeying him. His brow raised in a questioning matter, before he noticed your posture. You had your arms in front of you in a hugging manner, and he suddenly realized how his behaviour must've looked for you. "I'm sorry princess I just.." He said, putting the cup down and running a hand through his hair. "I just.. I was so terrified when I saw you there-" He said, having to swallow hard again so he didn't end up crying again. God, what was it with him again? "Why didn't you call an ambulance? Why did you call me instead?" He asked, a bit of whine to it. You shrugged, deflating a bit in your position leaned up against the pillows.

"You were.. dunno, the first one I thought of." You explained. In Hindsight it had been a bit dumb, why did you call him as if he could magically appear in that second to make everything better, but somehow your brain made that story into a real possibility. "You always make everything better, and you know.. you always know what to do so.." You said, and Jungkook breathed out in a sight.

He leaned closer to you, tattooed hand brushing away some of your hair to place a kiss to your forehead. "Oh baby.." He simply said, resting his against your head for a second, before his thumb brushed over your cheek. "I'm driving you anywhere you need to be from now on." He said, and you nodded with a smile. "Alright. Now come on, drink something." he spoke before picking up the cup, helping you with the straw, taking it away from you after a couple of sips, making you whine. "I know doll, but we don't wanna overdo it alright?" He said. You looked at him with a smile, and he happily returned it.

"Jungkook I can do that-" You said, before he silenced you with a look.

"I'm sorry, as cute as you look walking around like a newborn babydeer, I really like to keep you from falling down again, thank you very much." He said, accusingly pointing to the small bandage on your knee from having stumbled on your way into the kitchen yesterday. Your visible wounds were healing well, but you still had a bit of nerve damage from your nasty fall, which made your legs feel like they're constantly in a state between sleeping in and waking up, minus the pins and needles. They moved, yeah, you could feel them, yes, but it felt like they were wrapped in plastic and someone messed with the controls. Jungkook found it a bit adorable, but he rather not have you give him a shock again from almost hitting the kitchen tiles. Slowly, he came back with a glass of water, making you smile and thank him. He'd currently taken time off from work, having explained to his boss that he had to nurse you for a bit until you could be home by yourself. His boss had been pretty understanding, agreeing to him taking his vacation earlier and with short notice.

One thing you noticed however, was how careful Jungkook was around you. Now, that itself wasn't a bad thing, since right now you're a bit more fragile then usually so, but he was careful in a different way. Ever since you both left the hospital on friday, he stopped giving you goodnight kisses. He rarely hugged you, only ever if you initiated it, and he refused to be close to you during the night, making up excuses like 'I'm scared I'll roll you over during the night babygirl.' That was utter bullshit, because he'd never been worried about that in the past. He's a heavy sleeper and barely moves when he sleeps, so why would it be an issue now?

That was when the goddamn thoughts came back to you. Maybe he realized how close he'd gotten to you and didn't want that anymore? Maybe he wanted to go back to his old way of living, without any strings attached to anyone?

That night, you decided to speak up. Jungkook and you were sitting on the bed, you criss crossed, and him with his back towards you, feet on the carpeted floor. "You can, uhm.. you know, drive me back to the hospital tomorrow so I can get checked back in." You quietly said. He instantly turned around, his phone no longer worth his attention as his brows furrowed.

"Why? Are you okay? Did the stitches open up again?" He said, a bit of panic making his words hurry on their way out of his mouth. You shook your head.

"No, but I don't wanna, you know. You don't like me saying I'm a burden so I won't say it, but yeah. I get it, you know? Its okay, really-" You said, head lowering until you stared your lap. You heard and felt him move, his hand softly on your back.

"What're you saying princess? Why the fuck would you think I don't want you anymore?" He knew your innuendos by now, and he didn't like that you implied a breakup in your sentence one bit. "Baby I'm gonna take care of you now and everyday you need me to, you know that." He said, confused.

You looked at his throat, unable to shift your gaze any higher up, in fear of what his eyes would tell you. "But, you know.. if we're good, why.. why 'm I not getting any kisses anymore? No hugs? No nothing? " You said, starting to pick at your fingers. Maybe you were just making it worse for him. Maybe he'd just tried to figure out how to tell you in a good way, and you just made it so much harder for him to do so. However, the hand on your back left, just so he could take your body into his arms. "I'ts okay, you know-" You started again, and he hushed you.

"None of that, please don't talk like that, please don't." He said, almost breathless as if he was scared to say the words out loud. "Getting told I could loose you for good was terrifying enough already, thank you very much." He said, a dry laugh escaping him, humor nowhere to be seen in it. Typically he would relish in the feeling of his broader and stronger frame compared to you, he would smile at the mere size difference of your hands or the way he could easily pick you up and carry you anywhere he wanted to. But right now it only reminded him how fragile you were, how careful he had to be not to hurt you. He felt helpless, and it was a feeling he decided he'd hate until he died. "I just- I'm scared I'll hurt you." He said, quietly, hoping that maybe you won't hear. But you did.

Holding his face in your hands you were reminded again just how inexperienced he was in this entire thing as well. You always thought he could lead the way without problems, that he knew everything and could teach you what you wanted to know. Yet maybe you both could learn from one another, more so than just you from him. "You won't." You said, and you stubbornly kissed him as he tried to protest, pecking his lips with a newfound courage you didn't knew you had until then. He tried again, just to get another kiss. This went on for a bit, until he deepened the gesture a bit, hand finding its way into your hair, before he pulled away.

"Don't rile me up baby." He groaned, running a hand through his hair. He hated how much you could get under his skin right now, covering his lower half under the blanket you both shared almost shamefully. You kissed him again, making him laugh, finally this time for real. "Stop, I'm serious. You're still healing, or did you forget?" He said, and you whined.

"But you can be gentle! My stitches are coming out on Monday anyways, I'll be fine!" You said, and he had to chuckle at you, his mind being torn from side to side. He didn't know if he could, but the way you trusted him made him wan't to at least try. With a little hesitance he dived in again, making you smile against his lips.

He made you lie down again, slowly, crawling over your form, unhurried, as if you both got all the time of the world. And you had, he knew you had. When you whined, he simply grinned at you. "No no Baby, let's just be close, okay?" He said, voice low and soft, making you melt underneath him. For the first time ever, as cheesy as it sounden, it wasn't about reaching your highs anymore for him. He was a believer that good sex had to finish with as much pleasure as possible for him, yet that had entirely began to shift when he'd met you. Suddenly things weren't about him anymore, suddenly he started to become less and less self-centered; but this time nothing mattered at all. It wasn't about reaching your goal and claiming your prize in form of an orgasm, it wasn't about pure pleasure and satisfaction. No, this time it was about feeling as close to you as he could, he needed to feel every inch of you simply to reassure himself that you were still here, real, and with him.

He reached for the first drawer of the bedside table, your kisses on his chest and biceps making his heart race. Slipping the condom on with your help, not because he needed it but because you wanted to, he made himself at home inside you, mind slowing down with every move he made, his thoughts and body being reminded that you were okay, you were fine, you were still here with him, you didn't leave. Maybe he should be scared of how dependend he'd become on you, how you had sneaked your way past all his walls and made yourself at home inside his soul. Maybe he should be afraid or worried how he couldn't escape you anymore, how he couldn't take a fast exit out of the situation you both had made. But right now, none of that mattered.

Your mind was fuzzy, no thought able to be caught properly, and you let yourself slip even further, giving your entire being into his posession. This was just about being close, and you felt protected and safe with him, his pace slow and unhurried, gentle, and his hands reaching for yours, intertwining your fingers in a soft gesture. It showed just how much he was actually hurting, how much the entire situation had affected him; this was so unlike him that it made you feel proud of yourself to be able to witness it at all. He was laying himself bare in every way for you, and you didn't dare threw salt on his exposed flesh.

He didn't notice if he or you had come at all, continuing to move, yet never picking up his pace. When he watched your blissful face underneath him, his eyes stung again, tears knocking at the back of them, and he gently placed his head on your shoulder, kissing every part of your skin he could reach there, gasping and breathing hard. Never in his wildest dreams he would've thought that this would be the situation he would found pleasure in, yet it happened in that moment, and god, he felt like he couldn't stop. He felt like he could torture himself like this forever if it meant he could show you how utterly terrified he had been of loosing you, how terrified he still was deep down, and how terrified he would always be. He needed you like oxygen at this point, and it scared him shitless, yet even that was something he accepted with open arms and a smile in exchange for your affection. He was whipped for you, deep down bound to you by iron shackles, but he would never ask for a change whatsoever.

The night ended with both of you exhausted yet happy, tangled together under wrinkled sheets and a blanket thrown over your forms.

"I absolutely love you." You said, eyes wide and sparkling at the amount of junkfood your boyfriend carried inside the living room, coat still a bit wet from the rain outside. He brought a wave of cool and fresh air with him, making you shiver for a bit before your hand dived into the first paper bag, the crinkling sound ever so present. He laughed, throwing his coat over the side of the couch before he sat down next to you.

"You only love me for food, how tragic." He said, playfully sighing at it, watching you pout at him. "sorry baby, 'm joking." ruffling your hair he snatched a fry from the small bag you had in your hands, making you whine, but laugh at the same time.

Straightening your back you tried to look taller than him, making him chuckle. "I see this as a reward for not crying today!" You said proudly, and he smiled, nodding. You had gotten your final stitches removed, and even though it was still terrifying for both of you, Jungkook had finally faced his fear and came with you to your appointment, although he had still been heavily uncomfortable, rushing you both out as fast as possible. He was proud however, because even though you had every reason to, you didn't cry- simply squeezing his hand a bit, but nothing too much.

"I know, I know." He said, rummaging through the second large brown bag to fish himself a burger. "That's because you're the bravest girl ever-" He said, yelping when you snatched the food from him. "And also the most daring it seems, you gotta share baby!" He said playfully accusing, reaching for it just for you to hold it further away. "Good girls share, come on, I deserve a reward too you brat!" His hands reached for the item of his desire, making him raise his brows at you. Kissing your slightly greasy and salty lips, he laughed when you made a whiny sound at him. "Come on, this shit was expensive, let's eat."

"I've never seen you cry so much."

"Shut up."

"It was cute though-"

"Oh I'm about to be really fucking cute, get over here young lady!"

Taglist: @sweetenedcooky @ggukkieland @btsismybias22 @darkgvk @daddypkj @flowerprincess24 @crazylittlemay @zeharilisharaban

[wastelandlovingscenarios]

I absolutely LOVE how you write angst, I'm always looking forward to a bit of hurt lol How'd the guys(romanced) react to being hit by the berserk syringe and start attacking Sole but come back to their senses right before actually killing Sole!?

i can’t imagine any of my boys hurting sole. this is such a unique scenario and i’m absolutely here for it! i’m not proud of this but please enjoy! <3

*i’ll edit this in the morning cause a bitch is tired.

[ tw: depression/violence/blood/injuries!!! ]

-

never in a million years did they expect the only person they’ve ever trusted to be the reason for their death. well, not the main reason, as the berserk syringe was the cause, but the fact that they were the reason why sole had been helpless on the floor only added on. they towered over sole, who laid in their puddle of blood, gasping in immense pain as they tried to use the last of their strength to plead. sole let out soft sobs, watching as their other half pointed the pistol at their head with no sense of remorse. this wasnt the way they expected to go, not by the hands of the only person they found love in.

“st..op..” they cried, trying to find the power to reach out to him. all the memories flashed through their mind; memories of their life before the bombs dropped, the moments they spent in the wasteland, and the day they fatefully encountered one another. they refused to die this way. sole mewled out his name, begging for him to stop. and just like that, they hesitated and regained consciousness, taking a moment to ground themselves into the situation and realize the horror of it.

-

Danse:

this was everything he’s ever feared since sole had landed into his life. he had dreams - not many - but definitely a fair amount of his loved one dying in his arms and he feared it may have been an omen wading in the darkness waiting to come to life - and it did, just not in the way he visualized. the sight of sole bleeding out in front of him brought him to a whole new level of fear. “sole?” he choked out in disbelief, unable to move. it’d take him a minute to piece everything together as his eyes darted from the weapon in his hand, to his surroundings, then the syringe... and it hit him. “shit!” he cursed, making his way to sole hurriedly and carried them off the ground, running towards goodneighbor. he had no time to talk, to cry, nor to feel sorry for himself. sole could be seconds away from dying and it’d be the last damn thing he’ll let happen. once someone had taken sole into their care, he would absolutely refuse to leave the building without knowing their status.

danse would sit in the chair or stand impatiently for hours on end, all thoughts of doing basic human necessities, such as eating and sleeping, completely slipping his mind. the minute he was given the chance to see sole, he did nothing but that and finally let the tears spill into the palms of his hands as he sat near soles bedside. sole would take him into their arms, kissing his hair gently as they caressed his head. “it wasn’t your fault,” they repeated constantly as reassurance, “none of it was.” despite soles words, he’d continuously blame it on himself for not being more attentive and have constant nightmares about what had happened, often finding himself in tears as he jolted awake. he’d explain to sole how he didn’t deserve them and how he was afraid it might just happen out of the blue again. it would take a long while for danse to get over his actions and a lot of reassurance from sole, who was more than glad to help him through these rough times.

Deacon:

deacon had panicked many times in various situations; you name it, it’s probably happened. but this? this was a different type of panic. one that he couldn’t avoid no matter how much he tried, regardless of how many lies and jokes he told himself. he darted to sole, taking them into his arms in a panicked manner as his breathing began to release in irregular patterns. “i didn’t do this, right?” he tried to push everything away, run from the truth that obviously surrounded the two, “sole, you know i’d never hurt you, right?” his voice trembled, hands shaking as he tried to move the hair out of their face. his stained hands and clothing told him nothing but the truth- he was responsible for what happened and there was nothing he could do. when sole let out a small, “i know,” and proceeded to look up at him with a tired expression, he broke down and held them close to his body, burying his face into their neck. “i’m sorry,” he sobbed, “i’m so fucking sorry.”

once sole had made it back to hq, he practically begged carrington to do everything in his power to help them survive. it took multiple people to hold deacon back as he fought against them, not wanting to leave soles side as they were taken away to a separate room. once carrington had given him the go to visit sole, he found himself rushing to the room, nearly ripping the door open. without another word, he latched onto them, letting everything he’s ever wanted to say to them spill out within seconds. how much he loved them, how they had changed his life, and things he wouldn’t normally say on a daily basis. sole would notice how he’d become excessively clingy right after that fateful moment and notice his attempts to cheer them up through jokes or little things he did for them throughout the day. during nightfall, he’d hold them in his arms, muttering apologies to them as tears spilled from his eyes. he didn’t know if he could forgive himself.. at least not for a while.

Maccready:

he choked on his own breath, throwing the gun to the side as far as possible. memories of lucy began flooding his mind and the thought of him being alone once more with additional blood on his hands only heightened his panic. with a loud sob, he dropped to his knees and brought sole to his arms, shakily caressing their cheek. “sole, sole. hon, look at me,” he choked through his tears, trying to keep them awake. he stroked their cheek with his thumb, trying to comfort them through the pain with words, touches, anything. “don’t close your eyes. please don’t leave me.” despite the condition they were in, they opened their eyes obediently, staring up weakly at mac who continued to sob. his tears fell off his face and right onto soles cheek, washing away any blood that trailed down. “we’re gonna get you help and you’re gonna get better. you’re gonna come home with me, duncan, and shaun, okay?” his hand moved down to lock with theirs as he gave it a reassuring squeeze, “they’re waiting for us at home, remember?” sole began to tear up, intertwining fingers with mac, “tell them i love them, please.” something triggered in mac and he shook his head, lifting them from the ground and finding his way to the closest town he could find, yelling at anyone for help.

after their wounds had been treated properly, the doctor had led him to the room where he saw his other half lay in bed, all patched up and taken care of. “they will be okay. i advise letting them rest for a while and try to stray away from any physical activity until they show signs of improvement.” the man noticed how mac stared at them with tears in his eyes and he coughed, “i’ll give you a moment, sir.” the sound of the door closing behind him would ease the tension he had in his shoulders and he would lean down, pressing a kiss on soles forehead as they slept.“you hear that, hon? you’re gonna be okay.” as soon as sole made it back home with him, he’d do everything he can to ensure that sole would recover properly. mac would do all the dirty work sole usually did and checked up on them as much possible, visibly worrying to death about them. at night, he’d have a hard time sleeping with the guilt weighing on his shoulders but soles words and affection were more than enough to ease his worries.

Hancock:

to say he hated himself at that very moment was a huge understatement, this being the cherry on top of everything on his list. he knew he’d fuck it up someday, but he never expected himself to go this far. even knowing that it wasn’t his fault and the syringe was the reason why he started attacking, it didn’t change the fact that it was done by his hands. he dropped and tended to soles injuries as much as he could before taking them back to goodneighbor. hancock used everything sole possessed- stimpacks, med x, etc while whispering reassuring things to them, knowing that blaming himself won’t do anything good. when sole weakly grabs his wrist and stares at him with fear and shock, he feels all his intentions of being calm sink to the ground. “am i gonna die?” oh god. never once in their time spent together has he ever heard them say something so heartbreaking. even in the craziest situations, they would always remain hopeful. hancock dropped whatever he held and scrambled to take them into his arms, attempting to soothe their mind. “you’re not gonna die. i’m not gonna let that happen.” he reassured, “there’s no fucking way in hell i’m gonna lose you.” hancock entering goodneighbor with sole in his arms would automatically send a message to the rest of the town and they’d begin readying the medical rooms and collecting all the medical supplies that were available for dr. amaris use.

sole had been discharged eventually into hancock’s care and he’d dote on them 24/7, ensuring that all their needs were met and would go above and beyond with everything they requested. while sole slept, he’d release his anger and bottled up thoughts by taking chems or going out to shoot things to release some emotions. whenever they were awake, he’d trace the wounds with his fingers gently and kiss their skin, apologizing about his actions endlessly. “it fucking hurts to know i did this.” he mutters, “i’m the one who’s supposed to be protecting you, not fucking doing the opposite.” sole would take his hand and brush their lips over his knuckles, “you’ve always protected me, none of this was on you,” hancock watched them with soft eyes, “we’ll get through this together, alright?” the mayor would nod, sending them a sad smile, “alright.”

Nick Valentine:

one of the many who refuses to say anything, but reacts quickly in response. he has no time for mourning or apologies right now and his main priority is to get sole help, even if it means kicking someone’s door down, then so fucking be it. he immediately wraps his coat around sole and carries them to the direction of diamond city, which was thankfully nearby. he whispered things he hoped they could hear despite their unresponsiveness, and silently begged that they’d be okay. when the doctor attempted to take sole into the emergency room, they had grabbed his wrist firmly, catching nicks full attention within seconds. “n-nick, don’t leave.” they pleaded weakly, tearing up when he looked down at them with grief and concern. nick rested a hand on their cheek, placing a soft kiss on their forehead. “sweetheart, i’m never gonna leave you. once you wake up, i’ll be here. i’ll always be here.” he whispered.

“promise?” sole whimpered, their hand still wrapped around nicks wrist. “i swear on it.” he looked up at doctor sun, who was assessing the injuries quietly, “we must act fast.” nick gave him a nod of approval, slowly feeling soles fingers slip away from his touch. as nick promised, he was there the minute sole had opened their eyes. he cupped their cheeks, leaning his forehead on theirs as he let out a shaky breath. “i’m so, so sorry.” they’d shake their head and remind him that it wasn’t his choice nor did they expect it to happen. nick decided to trust their words and though it did tend to lurk in the back of his mind often, he pushed it away as much as he could. he’d definitely become more cautious the next time they would hit the road and sole would notice that his paranoia reached to a whole new level.

Preston:

this seemed too familiar. the sight of his hands full of soles blood brought him back to when quincy was attacked by the gunners. it reminded him of how much people he couldn’t save back home and it surfaced emotions he yearned to forget, only this time.. it was way worse. “no, no, no.” he weeped, taking sole into his arms, “please, please tell me it’s a bad dream.” they had never seen preston so devastated in his life as loud sobs escaped his lips. sole weakly wrapped their fingers around prestons forearm, staring up at him through half lidded eyes. “it’s okay, preston.” their voice was strained and the color draining from their face only made his cries louder. “no, it’s not okay! i can’t lose you,” he said, “i lost everything in my life. i cant lose you sole, anything but you.” and without another word, he’d hold them in his arms as he ran to get help.

he wasn’t about to repeat the events that occurred at quincy and sole wasn’t gonna be another person he couldn’t save because of his careless actions. sole was the last person he wants to let go and there’s nothing that will stop him from ensuring their safety. he would fall back into his depression during soles recovery, knowing he was responsible for what happened to them and would find it absolutely difficult to ever forgive himself. even with sole reassuring him constantly that it was okay, he’d still deny it and cry as sole held him in their arms. just like deacon and danse, it would take nearly forever for preston to let go of what happened and it would eat him up inside and out every second of the day. it would take a lot of reassurance and self trust for him to understand that there was nothing they could’ve done.

Sturges:

he’s absolutely paralyzed, the gun falling out of his fingers unconsciously as he gazed at sole who desperately called out his name. sturges stared at his hands that were painted with that gut churning red and felt himself grow dizzy, hearing nothing but static fill his ears. he was so used to seeing that black/brown fluid paint his gloves that this contrast of red and black made him feel sick. this is why he didn’t step outside the comfort of his home and why he utterly refuses to hold a weapon. soles voice would break his train of thought and he’d immediately rush over to them, realizing that sole was on an unknown time limit. seeing their face so pale and lifeless scared the absolute shit out of him, and knew that there was nothing he could do at that moment to ease their pain. sturges grabbed their bag, searching for anything and everything that could possibly help them, eventually bringing out a stimpack and jammed it into their arm. when sole let out a pained whimper, he turned to face them and held their hand gently, his voice shaky as he spoke, “i’m here, sweetheart. i ain’t going no where.” he continued searching their bag and his eyes fell on the flare that was given to them when they had gotten recruited. that’s right, sanctuary wasn’t very far off from where they were, somebody was bound to see it one way or the other. quickly, he loaded it up and pointed it upwards, pulling the trigger.

once the bright flash appeared in the sky, he crawled over to sole and propped their head on his lap as he held them close. “helps comin’, sweetheart.” he whispered into their hair, “just hold on.” after those events he conspired and sole was given proper treatment and care, he’d be unable to focus on his tasks, his mind retreating back to those horrid memories he yearned to forget. he’d become more quiet and more inconsistent with his duties as the thoughts began to stick with him more. even the sight of a weapon would trigger him, immediately paralyzing sturges as the memories began flooding back. eventually, sole would have to confront him about what had happened to truly ease his mind off the tragedy, giving him some sense of comfort that whatever had happened was out of his control.

Gage:

one moment, he was shooting down gunners left and right and now, he was on his two feet, about to do the same with the only person who’s ever given a fuck about him. he should’ve killed the fucking bastard who shot that syringe at him- gut him clean with his knife and hang him up for display. none of that mattered now, the man was long gone and dead. the only thing that did though was sole. quickly, his hands traveled throughout their body where he could spot the visible injuries and pressed against them, as if it would halt any of the bleeding. “boss, can ya’ hear me?” he felt the fear surge through him the moment they remained unresponsive, eyes closed despite his small taps on their cheek. “fuck,” he breathed, “wake the fuck up.” his voice became more desperate as he attempted to shake them awake, but when sole showed no signs of opening their eyes anytime soon, his heart dropped. “don’t think you get to fuckin’ die on me. not now.” his voice was full of anger- not at sole, but at himself - as he carried sole in his arms to bring them to the nearest infirmary he could find. ‘not ever’, he thought, going as fast as his legs could take him, ignoring the growing pain in his limbs as he did so.

the infirmary he brought sole to informed him that they were not able to take them in due to the rooms being occupied and he pointed his gun at every single one of them, an angry expression painting his face. “now, if ya don’t take them in, i’ll be sure to take care each and every one of ya,” every worker in the building swallowed nervously, raising their hands in surrender, “i don’t make any empty threats, so get goin’ or things are gonna get dirty.” the doctors swallowed nervously, nodding in agreement as they hesitently took sole from his arms. once sole was treated and given time to recover, he’d properly confront them after days of thinking to himself. gage would give a proper and heartfelt apology, guilt wading in his eyes as he spoke. if sole tried to do anything that was against the doctors orders, he’d snap at them, annoyed at their stubbornness, “dang it boss, lay the fuck down.” he’d spit, eventually letting out a sigh as he turned his back at them, “i fuckin’ got it. just say the word and i’ll do it.” he’d feel himself flush, embarrassed at his temper as sole remained quiet, “i just,” he choked on his words, “i want ya to get better. i’m the reason why yer hurt and shit, so let me do this. please.”

[theamityelf]

Hmm...For most feasible masterminds, off the top of my head:

THH

Byakuya. The Togami family can take on the role Towa has in canon, where they benefit financially from the Tragedy and benefit financially from the opposition to the Tragedy. The motivation could be similar to Rameses from Prince of Egypt; he doesn't want to be the weak link that breaks the chain of a mighty dynasty. Suppose something happened beforehand that made him feel like a failure, and he had to overcompensate by creating an extraordinary source of income for all of Togami's business ventures and a game that he intends to win in front of the entire world. Narratively, this would be a different story than canon, because I'm imagining a Mastermind Byakuya who gets gradually worn down by all the ways the other characters disprove his worldview, and his motive goes from an aloof "prove to the world that I'm better than these inferior Ultimates" to a highly invested and personal "prove to myself that these guys are all out for themselves in the end". When he's unable to prove that, he breaks down. And because I'm incapable of not making this Naegami, there's a lot of that going on in this AU. His feelings for Makoto might be a huge reason Byakuya pushed himself to do the killing game in the first place, and he's watching Makoto closely for when he'll finally betray his friends. A lot of his general frustration gets channeled into his interactions with Makoto. And have I mentioned that there isn't enough Yandere Byakuya Naegami stuff? Food for thought. The game's motives are the same, but Monokuma is different. The silliness and absurdity aren't there; he's just a generic scary threat intended to force the group to act in accordance with their self-preservative instincts. He's probably not a teddy bear. If he is, there's a very direct reason. The color scheme of Mastermind Byakuya could be white and gold, or something of the sort.

Taka, kind of. There's a foundation there, if you take his dislike for the concept of born genius as a beef with Hope's Peak just foundationally. A killing game isn't a natural extension of this, though, so I'd say they're trapped in the school for something more in line with a morality test. Here are the country's finest, according to those who study talent. But are they truly the best of us? Will they do what's right under incredible circumstances? The intent isn't for them to kill each other, but when they start to, well. Those are just the results of the test. The proctor doesn't interrupt while the test is in session. He's still really close to Mondo. The motive about revealing secrets doesn't play out the same way, because the nature of those secrets isn't something Taka would consider it appropriate to leverage over them. It kind of wouldn't cross his mind. More likely, those of them who have done wrong would have their wrongdoings revealed with no opportunity to keep them secret, and either the test would be how the group at large reacts to that happening or there is no test in particular associated with it; he just believes the world deserves to know what these "geniuses" have done. But if Mondo does kill or die, it would still break his heart, but the game goes on. Just in general, the way the game plays out crushes him, but he feels that if he pulls the plug, then he's no better than Hope's Peak, covering up the faults of the Ultimates. I'd say for this AU there is no Monokuma equivalent; the rules are presented in the handbooks and maybe on posters on the walls, and an unseen entity enforces them.

Leon. The aesthetic would be different, but he's actually one I could see justifiably being characterized similarly to Junko, since the player sees so little of him before he exits the game. He's in a very similar position. It's still more cool to play with how you can make him different, but as far as having a more "because I wanted to" motive, I feel like he'd be the closest. If he had a Monokuma equivalent, I think it would act more like Monokid.

Celeste, but the entire vibe would be so different. If she were mastermind of a killing game, then she's openly watching a gladiator match of her least favorite classmates from a throne above them all, drinking tea. The classmates she does like, she gives the option to submit to her and they don't have to do the killing game. Her cat has his own throne. Of course, this comes at the expense of her depth as a character, but I think Celeste herself would approve of placing aesthetic before character depth.

Chihiro. It would be really cool. I don't have an idea for motive right now, because I'm kind of distracted by my family watching the Super Bowl, but I've seen some cosplay TikToks of Mastermind Chihiro and the idea has legs.

SDR2

(Speaking in the sense of the mastermind being the one trying to rig the killing game against the participants and bring back Junko in people's bodies.)

Nagito, of course. Too many ways this could work. If I go into it, it'll be its own post.

Mahiru. Her taking the initiative in some ways and pushing people along to take the initiative in other ways could be a way she's pulling the strings. Honestly, since they're Remnants irl, it could just be that everyone agreed ahead of time to make her the one who sabotages them while they're in the simulation, because she's good at getting things done subtly and also most of the rest of them want to experience the despair more than they want to be the ones organizing it.

Sonia. Very similar deal to Mahiru.

Chiaki. Okay, this is a rogue AI deal where maybe she thinks her friends are better off not reuniting their avatars with their bodies.

V3

Kaito. Oh, definitely. The idea that he takes on a role of encouraging similar sentiments to Makoto ("Keep trying. Believe in your friends."), but in a different enough way that it lowkey makes the game worse for everyone. But he reads as just a good guy who goes overboard sometimes, until you find out that he actually has been doing all of this on purpose to push the group to their limits. His killing game would definitely, definitely be in space. Even if we're beholden to the idea that an entire legacy of Danganronpa exists before this, I think he's stubborn enough to think he can actually, genuinely kill the mascot and replace it with a new character, so in this version a different mascot kills Monokuma and takes over the game. His new Monokuma equivalent would be more archetypal campy villain. Stylistically, closer to Zerg from Toy Story. The audience hates that he didn't utilize Monokuma in his season, of course, but he feels like he's started a great new legacy. He plays a great villain and his betrayal has full dramatic and artistic flair, but the audience can't get past the fact that he had the nerve to get rid of Monokuma an hour in.

Shuichi. Maybe a tad obvious, given the first case, but it ties together the themes of the first case in a way I like a lot. Even better if his lack of confidence in his detective skills isn't an act; he genuinely does build confidence during the killing game, and he genuinely is solving the cases without outside knowledge. He's super loyal to Danganronpa's brand integrity and does not believe it needs to break the mold in any way, so there is classic Monokuma and there are no Monokubs, and barring the group finding out that it's all fiction, the in-universe reveal is that he's Junko Enoshima's secret grandson or something.

Gonta. Similar to Chihiro; I just think it could be cool. The aesthetic stuff that can be done with a bug motif?

This is fully my own problem, but I am such a curmudgeon about Mastermind AUs, exclusively because I think the idea of another character being the mastermind is so cool that I want to see it explored so deeply, and if it's executed like "so and so is the mastermind, they're characterized like Junko, they do everything Junko did, Monokuma looks the same, etc." I find it to not be my particular cup of tea. The variations based on the character's different personality and motivations are the point, for me.

A Mastermind AU with a different color scheme than Junko's red, white, and black is one after my heart. (Though that's not a requirement; I think some masterminds just genuinely would also use those colors. Like Taka.)