#I say knowing full well I’m the one that wrote his backstory

[bardace]

having so many thoughts about forts but alas I have no energy or ability to draw rn so all I can manage is this

[astraystayyh]

han x reader. domestic morning where they also remember snippets of their (enemies) past. they’re very cute and i might write a full fic for their backstory.. stay tuned (also one suggestive joke)

if you wish to request a drabble as well, you can donate to our gaza fundraiser here! there are many writers participating as well hehe <3

10:02 a.m.

“wake up,” you whisper, your nose nuzzling against the slate of han’s neck. his eyes remain closed, but a delicate smile unfurls across his lips. you pretend not to notice.

“come on,” you murmur, your lips brushing his exposed collarbone, your hand slipping around his waist. “i miss you, hannie.”

his arms suddenly envelop you, drawing you into an impossibly tight embrace. “sorry baby, hannie is asleep.”

“is that so?” you giggle, resting your cheek against his bare chest. your face warms as you sense his heart racing unusually fast for a tranquil saturday morning.

“what’s this?” you pout, your fingers grazing the skin that shields the world's most precious organ. “do i still fluster you this much?”

“i literally have the sun in my arms, leave me be,” he grumbles, pulling the covers over you both.

you chuckle, pinching his side gently. “but wasn’t i your volcano?” you ask, referencing the song han wrote about you, for you, to you.

“yaaah,” he drawls out, a gleam of excitement shining in his eyes. “do you remember how we were before i confessed?”

“we hated each other,” you both giggle at the memory, months that now feel like a lifetime ago washing over you. it’s a sweet remembrance, akin to the last ripples of a wave caressing the shore.

“you were the most gorgeous producer I’d ever seen,” he sighs exaggeratedly, “and the most infuriating too.”

“it’s not my fault my genius was too much for you,” you tease, and he leaps away, waving a hand in the air in true han fashion.

“it wasn’t too much, we just had different artistic visions,” his voice grows increasingly high-pitched, “AND you were too prideful to collaborate.”

you shrug nonchalantly, “because you seemed too full of yourself.”

“and yesterday you were too full of m—“ your hand swiftly covers his mouth as raucous giggles erupt from him.

“you’re an actual idiot. i can’t believe I’m dating you now,” you say as his lips meet your forehead tenderly, his hands weaving through your hair as if crafting silent confessions of love.

“how could you resist the world’s best love song, hm?”

memories of listening to han’s Volcano in the rain flood your being. you recall the shiver that overtook your bones, the realization that dawned suddenly upon you, just like a striking bolt— you had never known the line between love and hate was this thin until, you too, experienced it.

“you know, it’s crazy how romantic the lyrics are, yet you never say 'i love you' once in them.”

“but you knew.”

“but i know.”

the smiles that bloom across your faces are serene, peaceful, like the calm that follows a storm, painting the world in hues of stillness.

“hi, baby,” he whispers, and you giggle, cupping his cheek with your palm. “hi, hannie.”

“i’m so happy we moved past the screaming matches.”

“i’m so happy i get to love you.”

“well, I love you more.”

“well, actually, that can’t be true because—“ the rest of your protest is silenced by han’s lips finally pressing atop yours. your words melting like sugar at the tip of your tongue.

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

ICYMI: There are so many Japanese qls airing weekly, so I’m going to start posting this little round up at the end of each week. Most of these shows are on Gaga and I highly recommend watching!

Chaser Game W

We've reached the stage with this one where I'm just gonna say we should keep watching for the ratings and enjoy the pretty gifs.

Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna 2

I got to watch episodes 5-8 of the new season this week, and I promptly lost my mind over how good this show is. It somehow got even better between seasons; the creators have some things to say about the experiences of women under heterosexual patriarchy. I already wrote about Kasuga's family trauma storyline and how much it meant to me, but these episodes also gave us Nomoto's ongoing queer awakening and journey to define her sexuality, the introduction of a new queer bestie in Yako, a better understanding of Nagumo and the careful and steady deepening of her relationship with the gals, a new confidant for Kasgua in Fujita, and Nomoto and Kasuga inching ever closer to defining what they are to each other. The world of the show and the support network around our leads continues to expand, and I am loving every moment. This drama is excellent and I cannot implore you enough to go to @furritsubs and catch up.

My Strawberry Film

Kicking off the last Drama Shower show of the season! This is a high school story featuring a classic trio—the Pining Gay, the Chaos Bisexual, and the Budding Lesbian. Obviously, I love them. I like the mood of this one—it's quite a tonal shift from the last show in this series—and the color grading is blue, blue, blue. And there's a mystery afoot as they try to track down the beautiful girl captured on film. Looking forward to more!

Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka

I continue to love this show, though I am not entirely sure how I feel about the turn things took with Mizuki this week. I did not really want this to go the full blown love triangle route; I am more interested in a version of this story where Sakae and Soga try to figure out these adult complications from the foundation of being in a relationship, not with the constant interference of a third party. So few dramas are willing to get the couple together early and let them face things together rather than constantly playing the will they, won't they game, and I was hoping Sukidoya was going to be one of them. That said, I like that Mizuki is sticking around in the story because he's an interesting character, and I like the conflict with Soga's job (we have a preponderance of Japanese shows about unreasonable work conditions airing atm) and the temporary nature of his time in Osaka. That he's worried about eventually leaving tells you all you need to know about how much he likes and respects Sakae. If he felt casual about him he would not be worried about complications that far down the timeline. Let's see where they take this love triangle thing next week; I'm hoping it will be brief.

Perfect Propose

Great episode this week, and I love the way they continue to deepen the backstory for these two. Hiro being the first person to need Kai rather than pity him makes so much sense for their dynamic and why Kai would be so attached to him. And of course, when Kai returns the situation is the same; Hiro definitely still needs him. I love that they took a source of shame for Hiro and turned it into a reason why he and Kai are so compatible. Kai wants to take care of him—and he's not the only one! Loved seeing Hiro's coworkers express concern for his well-being and recognize how this job is grinding him down and breaking his spirit. It was so validating to hear from another high performer that the job is miserable and he should quit. It has nothing to do with failure; as Kaneko said, it's about seeking the life he truly wants. He sees Hiro's talent and knows he will not be able to flourish in this hellish work environment, and I thought it was so kind and compassionate of him to try to help Hiro see that. Also shoutout to Hiyori for sitting her ass back down and missing the last train when she realized prime gossip was about to arrive to her table, she's just like me fr.

Ossan's Love Returns

We are clearly in the drama spiral for the season now, and this show seems to be coming for my beloved Kurosawa. Thanks, I hate it! But the show found its humor again this week even as the sad plotlines for the side characters continued, and I was very happy to see it back in top form. I loved this story with Maki and Haruta caring for Goro for the week, and how it affirmed for them that they are actually not interested in having children. I told @bengiyo and @twig-tea when we saw last week's preview that Maki seemed like the type who wouldn't like children, and I was glad to see that affirmed by the show, and crucially, that he didn't change his mind via the power of Goro's cuteness. Not all people want to be parents, and it's so nice and refreshing to see a loving couple decide they just want to focus on each other, and that you can like kids and spend time with them without needing to have one of your own. I loved, too, that we got some focus on Chizu's struggles as a single mom, and her family rallied around her and made it clear she has support. Takegawa's sudden not-at-all-selfishly-motivated interest in polyamory was hilarious, as was Chief's journey to figure out what was causing his stress—until it wasn't, of course. I was glad Chuoko was with him when he got the news. And I am really hoping that rooftop kiss was Kiku's goodbye, and we will be seeing him move on from Izumi soon.

Bonus: Kimi no Koto Dake Mite Itai 

Shoutout to @my-rose-tinted-glasses for giffing this show and reminding me I still hadn't seen it! It was not accessible to me back when it came out and it fell off my radar for awhile. I watched today and thought it was just delightful. A short, sweet, warm hug of a friends to lovers high school bl with two very lovable leads. I highly recommend checking it out.

[mysticficti0n]

All my attention Part 5

warnings- swearing, drinking, protectiveness, so much flirting

words- 4k

If you'd like to read the previous parts → All my attention series

a/n- so if you're new here I am British and cannot speak any German, I speak a little French, Spanish and Italian but German- no. I also do not trust Google translate so this is gonna be like an avatar thing (if you've seen the newest one Jake says that their language just became normal or something along those lines) so in reality this is all in German, you as a reader know German but, its wrote in English... make sense? no... well, sorry this part has taken a while-

(also would anyone want to be on a tallest?? plz put if you'd like to ♥︎)

┍━━━━━━━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━━━━━━━┑

backstory- you are the 5th member of Tokio Hotel and you always thought the love was equally platonic between you and a certain guitarist... but what if that all changed?

I stood in my room ferreting through my clothes to find something to wear for the interview which was coming a lot faster than I thought, I decided on a army green booty skirt with a cream belt, a white tank top, gold jewellery and my hair tied back in a bun, my make up was pretty usual besides my red lips lined in black but I mean if I can pull it off- why not?

Hurriedly I grabbed my shoes, deciding on my chunky platforms and a purse holding lip gloss, lip liner, spray, my phone, a pen and keys. The boys and their families went home after breakfast around 10 meaning we could all spend time with our families for a few hours, the Kaulitz' left a little later as being our neighbours they didn't have much of a drive to get home. Gordon, the twins step dad agreed to driving us 3 to the studio while Georg drove him and Gustav as they lived near to each other

"Y/n sunshine! Tom is out side" my mom called from the bottom of the stairs

"okay!" I shouted back and came storming down the stairs, I saw my mom's eyes light up and a smile decorate her already beautiful face "like it?" I twirled

"You look wonderful! oh my- Martin get in here look at our daughter!" she called getting my dad in who was holding Stella "look!"

"Baba look pretty!" Stella grinned

"she does doesn't she, we'll be watching tonight sweetheart" with 3 quick kisses I ran out the house waving goodbye and Tom laughed as I stumbled down the step

"shut up look at the size of these I'm not exactly gain" I huffed steading myself, I looked up and saw the boy handing is arm which I gladly took to get down and jump the wall dividing our house

"we need your help- well I need your help, Bill wants your opinion on his fit but I don't know what to wear so I’m more important" Tom sighed, at the moment he was just in a wife beater and jorts, his dreads in a mess around his head "and- I need to show you something"

"well lets go then!" we hurried into the house and Bill was sipping a coke and smiled seeing me walk through

"Y/N YES LOOK AT YOU!" he snapped his fingers as I model stepped in, 'flipping' my hair and blowing a kiss "alright what about me?" he was in a black leather jacket, matching black skinny jeans, a Dimond skull belt and chains around his neck, hair on end (in a good way) and a deep smokey eye

"absolutely- I fucking love it!" he smiled getting all giddy "bad bitch vibes- or a good fuckable emo, either really" the boy blushed wrapping me in a hug

"okay go help useless over here now" I rolled my eyes and followed the other Kaulitz up the stairs to his room where clothes were dropped everywhere

"so... what happened?' I asked seeing him shrug "right well... these jeans- dark denim is a look then, where's your green and yellow cap?" I asked seeing him pull a draw open full of at least 50 hats

"what head thing?" he spoke opening the draw above "black?" I nodded opening his wardrobe and pulling a yellow and dark green print, white back shirt out (this is the fits)

"here, change" I spoke seeing him pull his vest off and quickly put the new shirt over, he was finally done fixing individual strands of hair in his ponytail and sprayed a dark smelling cologne on "okay that looks GOOD" I complemented seeing a smile form on his lips

"oh I can show you the thing now" he laughed walking into the hall and bring a small box back in "look I'm proposing!" he got onto his knee holding the said box

"oh Tom-" I played pretending to wipe my eyes "I do!" he shoved me away and opened the box revealing a small ring- gold and had our band logo engraved in it "holy shit! thats amazing!" I called pulling the ring out "do we all have one" the boy excitedly nodded pulling his hand up showing a bigger and chunkier version

"mom got them for us 5, they're so cool" I nodded admiring the metal around my finger "Bill's and Gustav's are in silver as they prefer it"

"god I love your mom" I sighed happily standing up and walking into the hall "THANK YOU SIMMY!" her laugh filled the hall followed by a 'no problem doll'

"KIDS COME ON WE NEED TO GO!" Gordons voice echoed from down stairs and in great style and slow steps me and Tom got into the car, in the backseat as Bill was first in "we have to hurry up its already 25 past" he grumbled starting the engine

┍━━━━━━━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━━━━━━━┑

"Welcome to the red seats- Tokio Hotel!" our interviewer names Karter Male introduced, monsoon began playing in the background followed by many screams, Bill was pushed on first closely followed by the rest of us and as we all came into view the noise only got louder "ahah welcome!" we all smiled waving to the people

"hi!" we laughed, Bill was closest to the table followed by Tom, me Georg and Gustav who were relaxing back into the seats "thank you for having us" Bill began

"no its our pleasure, so would you like to introduce yourselves for the people who don't know you all?" we nodded and looked to our lead singer

"oh- I'm Bill Kaulitz, lead singer on Tokio Hotel"

"Hey, I'm Tom Kaulitz, his brother also older by ten minuets and I play electric guitar for Tokio Hotel"

"hello, I'm Y/n Y/l/n, the backing singer for Tokio Hotel" I herd a wolf whistle come from the audience causing me to giggle "thank you" but the boy to the left of me face dropped but I tried to ignore his mood

"evening, I'm Georg Listing and I play bass for Tokio Hotel"

"hi I'm Gustav schäfer and i play drums for Tokio Hotel" claps filled the room and the interviewer grinned

"so now we know you recently got back from doing a mini-tour sort of thing right?" murmurs of 'yes' and 'yeah' ran through us five until Bill started talking

"yesterday actually, we did our last show in the afternoon and all went back to Y/n's parents house for the night and seeing our families was a massive relief as we hadn't seen them in weeks"

"thats wonderful, well going back onto your small tour we herd in Tier that there was a new song? and its was sang by Y/n, can you tell us little about that?" Karter looked to me and I looked to the boys who gave me the nod

"of course, it's called 'Don't jump' and it has so much meaning and I mean nobody has all day to listen to me ramble but its from when I was in a very dark place due to privet things and instead of being sad 24/7 I made it into lyrics and I finally performed it in Tier, I think next shows when we play it Bill will sing as he's much better than I am" I laughed hearing the crow 'aw' at me "but yeah its a beautiful song- not to blow my own horn or anything" The interview carried on and the boys getting asked different thing then turned to the 'public questions'

"so we've had a few questions from your adoring fans who will be watching from home, this one is for all of you actually- from Hallie, 15, she said 'hello Tokio Hotel, my question is- are you all single or seeing people?' so?" I watched as Georg and Gustav nodded their heads saying 'yes we are' Tom and Bill also but then I remembered I hadn't come out publicly about my spilt yet

"yeah we all are" I spoke hearing a gasp but quickly brushed it off

"well erm... next question for Tom from Suzana 'Hey Tom, I was wondering if you have a type?'" the audience laughed as the guitarist became a little tense, scratching his neck

"well.. if you're pretty and have a nice smile I don't have a issue" girls in the crowd cheered and a blush covered his cheeks, I patted his shoulder to which he looked back to me pulling his lips taught as if to say 'what the fuck'

"right, our next questions will be from the audience!, so let's start" we watched a runner hop up the stairs to a smiling blonde girl who was wearing a tour shirt

"Hi! I'm Rebecca and I have a question for Gustav!" we watched as the boys eyes lit up and a smile spread on his face "I was wondering what your favourite song- out side of the band- is to play?" that was surprisingly quite a nice question

"oh erm... I like quite rock sorta music so probably Nirvana?" she thanked him and blew a kiss to which his cheeks only got redder, the runner went to another girl, smaller and younger looking with brown piggytails

"hello... I'm Francine and I have a question for Y/n" my eyes softened seeing her nervousness

"lets hear it!" I grinned

"I- I was wondering whats your favourite colour and why? because I think you look beautiful in green and purple!" she giggled making me pout at her sweetness, Tom was smiling at me as I held my heart

"aw thank you Francine thats so nice of you, I'd say my favourite colour is... baby yellow though I never wear it, my mom calls me sunshine and that colour reminds me of her" the girl said her thanks and the questions continued

"so this will be our last question for Tokio Hotel tonight as our show is near an end!" Karter spoke pointing to the camera and it spun to the last fan

"hey guys! I love you all so much by the way- but my question is for Tom and Y/n" me and the boy looked to each other then back to the brunette "I'm guessing you've seen the ships between you on social media?" being the only girl in a group of 4 boys sometimes came with it's downsides, those being 'shipped' with all of them and people making up rumours "the most common being that you two secretly love each other, well I was wondering if any part of that was true?" I let my laugh slip but Tom's brows furrowed

"yes I do love Y/n, she's one of the most important people in my life of course but the way people make us out is completely wrong- she's like a sister I mean she may as well be related to me and Bill we've know each other since we were what born?" I nodded listening to his words but I couldn't help but know that everything the fans imagined wasn't completely wrong.. and he knew that too

"yeah like he said we love each other but its platonic!" I added seeing the crowd sigh at the disappointment

"you'd make a good couple though" Karter added "you'd be the hottest new thing since people like Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore" I rolled my eyes at the words but Tom seemed to like the idea and shoved me with his elbow "thats all we have time for folks, thank you Tokio Hotel for being here tonight! bye!" we all waved and the crowd applauded, the lights dimmed meaning we all had to go backstage.

"he's gonna come back here in a second to have photos with you guys so if you'd like to wait in the dressing room please feel free!" a runner smiled looking to us pointing up the hall, we all walked into the air conditioned room and fell onto the matching red sofas from set

"that was I think the most comfortable interview we've ever done" I spoke scratching my head, fixing my hair. Tom scoffed folding his arms "what? don't you guys agree?"

"I think he was playing favourites all the way through" Bill spoke opening a water "but yeah it was fine"

"I agree" Georg added, I personally didn't know what their issue was but I mean they are edgy, angry teen boys anything ticked them off. we sat in silence until the door opened with Karter smiling widely at the five of us

"Ah Tokio Hotel- thank you for tonight it went beautifully! shall we take some photos?" he asked fixing his suit jacket as we all stood "perfect, follow me" he instructed going out the door, Bill grabbed the door before It slammed into us all and held it open nodding his head allowing me first to which I whispered a quick thank you and slipped through following the man "okay so erm.. shall we have twins next to me, then Y/n on this side with Gustav and Georg" we all lined up in front of the photographer who was bending with a camera

"3...2..1" he spoke clicking the button and a flash blared our eyes "grate, we'll get a few more" he spoke fixing his position

"so what did you think of the interview guys?" Karter asked looking to his side "fun?" his hand which was now on the small of my back jolted slightly

"ah yeah it was nice we were just saying" I answered as the boys stayed silent "the people who asked the questions were so sweet" the photos continued and so did his hand, slowly his hand went my hip, thigh and then as he moved it to my ass I pulled away "were not doing that" I quickly spoke pulling my own hand away from being behind him

"sorry- its very inviting!" his eyes narrowed looking down and back up to me

"we're fucking done-" Bill started walking out the room and going to the exit door followed by Georg and Gustav as he shouted curses

"Y/n come on" Tom grabbed my arm shoving the man out the way "she's fucking 17 you prick" I didn't get a look at the man after that before Tom was yanking me through the doors out the building to the car where his step-dad was stood "were going straight home"

"Bill went with the lads" Gordon pointed as Georg's car pulled from the space with a roar of the engine "come on we need to be quick the meal is in like an hour and a half"

┍━━━━━━━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━━━━━━━┑

"hey darlings how was the interview?" Simone asked as we went into the Kaulitz' house "it looked good"

"we're never going on that show again" Tom murmured walking to the kitchen and grabbing a drink from the fridge "fucking looking Y/n up and down like she was someone to hook up with"

"what!" Simone started looking to me "are you okay sweetheart?" I nodded my head realising what Tom said

"anyways I need to shower" the twin grumbled walking up the stairs "Y/n I need you first" he shouted back down the stairs

"oh okay- sorry Simmy I'll be back" she smiled turning back to the tv as I made my way up the stairs to the boys room where I could here him shuffling about saying things to himself "Tom?" I walked in to see him standing at his mirror top off and belt half way undone

"shut the door" I did as he said looking at him oddly, I turned and shut the door behind my self and looked back to him "you didn't see what he was doing that whole interview did you?" I shook my head no "right well we all did, he was trying to see up your skirt- stared right at your tits, lips, eyes, legs- everything" I felt a lump in my throat as his brown eyes became darker looking at me "and no man can do that to you-" I nodded stepping over to him and wrapping my arms around him hiding my face in his color bone

"well though I fucking hate that- I'm okay don't get worked up okay? this sounds so cringy but he can't touch me like that ever again either because I'll brake his wrist" Tom looked down to me with a small smile spreading along his lips as he played with his lip piercing

"yeah nobody can ever fucking touch you there" I rolled my eyes seeing his eyes go serious in a jokey way "unless its me of course"

"oh yeah- of course, anyways you need a shower and come my house after help me chose my outfit for tonight" he nodded hugging me back quickly before going to his shower leaving me to go back home

┍━━━━━━━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━━━━━━━┑

I was sat in my bedroom flicking through my radio until I found a station playing a song I liked, Brittany Spears started playing, I started dancing around my room like I was her and nodding my head along to the lyrics of freak show 'Make it a Freakshow freakshow We can give 'em a Peepshow, peepshow Don't stop it let it flow Let your inhibitions go It's a crazy night Let's make a make a freakshow'

"Y/n!" I scream left my mouth as I turned to see Tom stood in my door frame laughing "what the fuck are you doing?"

"can you knock! I think I shit myself" he pulled his fist to the door and knocked with a cocky smile "haha" I spoke sarcastically, soon he fully walked into the room and my jaw did nearly fall to the floor, he was in black suit bottoms and a white button up blouse, rings around his fingers and his necklace on show, dreads in a messy bun

"wow! you look good! pulling out all the stops Thomas" I complemented seeing him become a little shy "genuinely you look amazing"

"thanks, I mean were going to the Stadtpfeiffer restaurant so I wanna look good" he popped his chest looking at himself in the mirror "what are you wearing?" he asked looking at me as I stood in joggers and a tank top

"a dress but can't decide which, wanna chose?" I'd never seen him walk quicker in my life, the doors flew open revealing all my 'fancier' clothes and his hands moved quickly through the hangers, until he pulled a red dress with a black rose lace pattern on top "really? don't think this might be a bit scandalous for a family dinner?" Tom smirked placing the dress onto the chair and turned back to the wardrobe "wait- no don't open tha-" I watched as his hand reached for the draw full of my 'sexy' clothes

"fucking hell Y/n how many thongs do you need?" he laughed looking back at me, he dug through them until he pulled a red lacy Victoria secret pantie out and threw it at me "here, wear that underneath" with a sigh I went to the bathroom and slipped into the clothes, I stared into the mirror and regretted ever letting him chose my outfit "let me see!" he called from the other room

"okay-" I walked into my bedroom and his eyes widened, lip tucked between his teeth and his hands dug harder into the bed "like?" I asked twirling

"like is a understatement" Tom hummed "god you look so hot right now- I literally don't have words" a small blush painted my cheeks as I stepped into my full body mirror, I turned to check my reflection but all I could see was the guitarist staring in awe

"my eyes are here" I laughed seeing him nod "okay well make up and hair now" the boy seemed to be confused "what?"

"you don't have make up on?" I shook my head turning to him "so you are just naturally gorgeous? fuck" I rolled my eyes sitting on the chair where the dress once lay, I pulled my make up draw open and picked out my foundation and began the process I came to love over the tour, dark eyes and a dark red lip , next my hair I decided to have it straight down and hair-sprayed it into place

"okay I'm done!' Tom looked up from the magazine he found himself flicking through and a smile spread across his face "too much?" I asked seeing his head shake "sure?"

"you look perfect Y/n" I grinned standing and going over to the wall wear my jewellery hung grabbing a necklace and a few rings and bracelets "you need shoes" Tom quipped abruptly going into the box under my bed full of misilanious shoes, he rummaged through for a while before pulling out my chunky Mary Janes I sat back on the sheets of my bed waiting for him to hand over the shoes but he stayed down, grabbing my ankle and slowly slipped the shoe onto my foot "Tell me when the shoes tight enough alright?" I nodded seeing him thread the strap through and pulling it taught

"there" he quickly pressed the buckle through and moved to my right foot doing the same before kissing my bare knees "you are so cute Kaulitz" soon his hands reached mine and we stood together "thank you- I love it all"

"no problem"

The time ticked slowly as me and Tom waited for everyone to be ready as in fairness we were done quite quickly, I sat at the desk with my computer on, flicking through web pages while Tom was messing around with my ukulele that one day just appeared in my room. I scrolled down a page until I saw a subtitle of 'picture ideas' and I immediately knew what we'd be doing to pass the time, the first one was the girl holding the camera above the couple and the boy holding her- perfect

"come here were taking these photos" I called bring the boy back to me, he stood fixing his outfit and passing me my phone and standing with me "okay so you need to-"

"I can see what I've gotta do babe" Tom soothed into my ear, wrapping his arms around my waist and placing his forehead into the crook of my neck "take it" with a click of my button the photo snapped, and we did this about 50 more times, standing in the mirror, at the window, and my poster wall

"perfect" I smiled flicking through the pictures "we look so good" cheering I looked back to see Tom looking to me, eyes scanning my body and face "you okay?"

"fine, just can't stop staring" a blush tinted my cheeks, over the past few days the flirting gone from funny to romantic giving me new feelings of giddiness every time

"Tom your making me red" my cheeks were aching from the smile I couldn't hold back

"good"

┍━━━━━━━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━━━━━━━┑

the clock struck 8:45pm meaning everyone getting in the cars to go to the Stadtpfeiffer, Bill had come back earlier and so the Kaulitz went in their car and I went with my family, me and Stella sat in the back dancing along to the music playing on the radio "what were you and Tom doing Sunshine? I could hear you laughing like you've just seen the funniest thing in the world!" I sighed with a smile to her words

"oh taking stupid photos together" but they weren't stupid- anything but, every time I looked at one my stomach felt ticklish and my chest heaved with a feeling I couldn't explain

"oh very nice, you'll have to show me" I laughed at her words mumbling a line of 'sure' after another 20 minuets we finally arrived and it look beautiful, the yellow haze lights illuminating the entrance and fancy jazz music filled our ears "oh my-"

After us the Kaulitz' arrived, the boys walked straight over to me laughing about something "evening" Bill nudged to me "I have something to tell you after by the way" I looked oddly at the boy who only smiled and followed his stepdad to my dad, I turned to Tom who shrugged

"you smell good" I commented smelling his cologne

"Paco Rabanne" he spoke lifting his arm to me so I could smell it better "oh and send me those photos will you, I need them" his voice became seductive making my knees weak and I all I did was hum in response "thank you angel"

“Stop it Thomas- we’re in public” I giggled seeing his eyebrows rise

“That’s only gonna make me worse” my heart stoped for a moment at his words- what’s did he mean by worse?

[a-dream-bookmark]

a dream bookmark presents: MAY 2024

feel-good (adj.)

causing a feeling of happiness and well-being

Welcome to A Good Bookmark part. 2, our May 2024 recommendations list with the theme around feel-good fics. From the start of the month, we have compiled a list of fics the community has given and prepared to give you. We would like to provide our biggest appreciation to the people contributing to the making of this list. Thank you so much and we will announce the theme for June 2024 soon!

Do you want to know more about us? Check this out!

The list is below the cut!

MEMBER'S RECS

TXT

|| kang's garden by @soov | requested by @onlyjjong

Pairing: farmer ! kang taehyun & fem reader

Genre: fluff, non idol au, meet-cute, drabble

What they said about the fic: i think is very cute!! >< she wrote this very well, and i enjoyed reading it hehe

|| tokyo duology by @beomie3 | requested by @writingmochi

This fic has dark/mature themes

Pairing: boyfriend!beomgyu x fem!reader

Genre: some cursing, established relationship, romance, physical touch, fluff, mostly just tooth rotting fluff. it’s a wholesome story :) some drinking, wholesome smut scene, (v much slow burn), just two lovers falling deeper in love <3

Synopsis: the neon-lit towers which surround you are mighty bright. but in his eyes, you shine brightest. the adventures of two lovers in tokyo. ~coming of age film~ vibes.

What they said about the fic: truly one of the most wholesome txt fic i’ve read on this platform. i love how tokyo becomes the backdrop of mc and beomgyu’s growing relationship as i have a distinct memory of the city itself. the little things scenes of them eating, visiting places, and others culminate into this adventure i’m getting a glimpse into as they have their own backstories. a feel-good slice of life with characters that feel more rounded and alive than the ones i have read recently

COMMUNITY'S RECS

ATEEZ

|| i lied, i need you by @fivestaralien | requested by @arcticdaisiess

Pairing: mingi x gnreader!

Genre: fluff, comfort fic, talks about mental health

What they said about the fic: it really hit home for me, thinking that you need space when you’re not feeling the greatest mentally but in reality you want the comfort of another. they wrote mingi so well:( he’s sweet and careful with the reader it makes my heart so full

THE BOYZ

|| lip scrub by @sanaxo-o | requested by Anonymous

Pairing: sunwoo x reader

Genre: fluff, kissing, boyfriend!sunwoo, sunwoo is smitten for you, mention of kids shit (don’t ask. Just read), making out 🕳️🏃‍♀️, couple things, very comforting I’d say 🤷‍♀️, oh and Sunwoo and the reader call each other pookie

What they said about the fic: This one. Like…how do I explain it? It’s not a fic but a Drabble but it’s just so cute

Navigation | Collections

[askkingerthings]

OH! Uhhh hello…?

“Alright what is this thing again…? OH RIGHT!!! Hello and welcome to- wait tumblr was it..? Yeah… hi..? Queenie… the alive one… invited me to tumblr..?”

All jokes aside Hiiii welcome to the asking kinder random bullshi- OKAY WHO WROTE THIS?!

Anyway! Before you ask any questions or ask for art of any kind, there are a few rules you ALL will have you follow, or it’ll be off with your head!! (Queen of hearts line: reference to Alice in wonderland!!)

rule’s:

Please be respectful of the blog owner and whatever they post

remember, my interpretation of kinger is to the best of my ability, and I have my own head cannon post to help you understand what personality and genuine vibe kinger brings to the group,:

There will be a select amount of my OC’s that you can ask questions about!!! When I make a masterlist (it’ll be on this post eventually) I’ll have links to their art, head cannons, designs and just general ‘get to know me’ kinda things!!!

please do not use profanity on this blog, sure I will swear from time to time but when you ask it’d be best if you’d just put the sorts F%#$ thing instead of the full word

Please do not advertise pornography or send me any, your ask will be deleted and you will be blocked.

be nice… please…

please if you wish to ask about the blog owner I’d gladly answer any questions!!! But there’s a certain set of rules I follow to my questions aswell so check out this post to se what you can ask:

I give all credits to them ^ for the idea of doing an ask away thing with basically my own universe of the circus

i also want to give credits to @saytrrose for the art on my icon, I’ll probably change it out for my own art soon enough but for now I’m using theirs, thanks to them, and for the other art I couldn’t find the creator so I’m sticking with credits to the creator!

yes I have my own lore and backstory to my characters, I will post them just yapping from time to time and it’s actually quite important to the lore of their character, so if you can solve what their past life was… wow I’d be surprised!!!

due to a recent incident with a blog owner I have decided to turn of anonymous asks, this is only for the reason of if there is any hate or I need to answer your questions I will tag you in the post

there will be a blog or two connected to here, like the other universes like the superlight AU and the extra’s AU!

I think that’s all the rules… well yeah… it is.. now time to learn about basically what I do here on tumblr and what got me dragged into the circus

I yap. ALOT

yeah! You’d be surprised how much I talk! And here I just wanna express that in writing!! I’ll write fan fictions from pure boredism if you’d like, art? Yeah no ASK away!!! Any sort of scrips and scrap sketches I kept around I’m fine with showing!!

But really other blogs from the circus will be tagged in this so they can get a proper introductions, and so that YOU can get to see their blog!!

Masterlist~

anything related to Kinger-

The Head cannon post

Anything else? Well not yet… there will be eventually though!!

The- other universe…?!

also here’s some info abt me!

hi the names tia but I go by T on here,

I’m a girl, no surprise

please takie note I’m a minor so please don’t include any NFSW however you say it-

I give advice

I’m on the rainbow spectrum as Kinger calls it..

specifically pansexual

Idk why I’m saying this but single bitch=me

tag list:

@ask-the-bubble @ask-jax-the-rabbit @ask-teeth-eyes @ask-pomni-things @askgangle-tadc @askthequeen @zooble-the-whatever-i-am @shortmomma1993 @chez-cinnamon

that’s all we know of who is on here… have a great night/day!!!

[vintage-bentley]

in depth harry potter spoiler warning. but i wanted to talk about gay!dumbledore. what jkr really does well is the adult backstories. you meet the adult characters from an eleven year old’s perspective. as harry ages (in the last book he’s seventeen) he gradually learns new things about the adults and gains a better understanding of them as full people. but every single one of these adults was already the full person harry understands them as in book 7 all the way back in book 1. a lot of other ya authors try to imitate this and fuck up, either because they get excited and jump the gun, giving us way too much info way too soon, or because it’s blatant that the complexity was added later. dumbledore is a great example. in book 1 when harry first learns who he is (from the back of a candy box trading card with commentary from his friend ron) he’s this highly revered wizard who famously defeated the greatest dark wizard of all time pre-voldemort in a duel. when harry meets him it’s noted that his nose is crooked like it had been broken and never healed correctly. there’s a mirror that shows you your greatest wish and when harry asks what dumbledore sees he says a nice pair of knitted socks. harry can tell he’s lying but doesn’t push because he realizes that was a really personal question, but he doesn’t know dumbledore well enough to know what the truth would be. we get the full backstory drop in book 7. the simple version is: when dumbledore was a young man he was extremely close to another young man, one his brother didn’t like. they wind up in a three way brawl, dumbledore’s sister gets caught in the crossfire and dies. boyfriend up and leaves, brother breaks dumbledore’s nose at the funeral, boyfriend goes on to be the powerful dark wizard that dumbledore battles decades later. so even though harry didn’t know that backstory in book 1, it’s clear looking back it was already a part of him. anyway this is why it drives me bonkers when people say that dumbledore wasn’t gay in the books and jkr just said that after the fact for clout, because it’s an integrated part of his character and arc and has clearly been what jkr had in mind from the get go. no, harry doesn’t get the definition of homosexuality talk but homosexuality is absolutely there (and in more than just how close he and evil wizard were in backstory, in book 7 a homophobic tabloid journalist insinuates dumbledore was molesting harry). people act like him being gay was a retcon when it was just jkr being honest about what she wrote. sorry for the novel but yeah

Don’t be sorry, I’m glad to have this context!! Like I said, I haven’t read or watched HP so I’m completely clueless here and don’t really want to praise or bash Rowling over something I don’t know about. I lean towards praise though because it seems like anyone not caught on the “I hate JKR!” Bandwagon claims that Gay Dumbledore was handled well.

I really like the concept of finding out more about the adults as the child protagonist ages and gains new insight!

Tbh I imagine that this is a similar situation to GO S1: it’s not technically canon because it’s not explicit, and readers/viewers who either don’t want to see homosexuality, or are too entrenched in heteronormativity to think of spotting it, won’t see it. But LGB people and possibly even allies will spot it, because they’re either used to reading between the lines or are willing to see it.

So I don’t think she should be praised for explicit gay representation, which I haven’t seen anyone claiming (although like I said, I haven’t read the books so it’s possible I’d change my mind if I read them). But she’s much different from Neil in that she’s said “yes, it was my intention that he was gay, and there’s clues in the text that point to this and prove my intentions”. Neil has been like “yeah we called him the f slur and made him a gay stereotype for the laughs, but no he’s not gay. He can be literally anything else though”.

[beecreeper]

Briar Playlist Deepdive

Woe be upon you I wrote 1500 words yelling around music that makes me feel things

Rambling under the cut and also gonna reblog with a part two because of the audio limit

Starting with this because this is THE song that made me start compiling a playlist for her. THE Briar song of all time for me. Particularly her peak cult days. The “I want a life that will give me purpose” and “Don’t crack through my facade” lines delivered in with all the arrogant greedy rock star vibes hit especially good.

This one is very very much Briar’s pre-cult backstory. Honestly if I were to ever put the effort into a full animatic, this would be high on the list because I can see it SO WELL. The chorus “All the kids cried out ‘please stop you’re scaring me’, I can’t help this awful energy, god damn right you *should* be scared of me” is just sooooooo 🥺. I also love love love the lines “I’ve grown familiar with villains that live in my head, they beg me to write them so they'll never die when I'm dead” as alluding to Bhaal sending her the urges to continue his own power and legacy.

This one I added really early in playlist building literally just because mushrooms. BUT there are some good in character moments to chew on ESPECIALLY the ending bit which is very much a vibe for Briar just after she murders her druid circle and decides AHAHA FUCK IT NO MORE FEELINGS EVER AGAIN.

This one is less about *specific* lyrics because the verses are kinda just vague ominous occult sounding stuff but OOH MAN THE VIBES ARE OFF THE CHARTS. If you want a song that captures of the vibes of a fantasy murder cult this is it.

This one is also pretty self evident I think, especially as the plot with Gortash progresses and her motivations shift just a *bit* from “I’m gonna murder everyone” to “I’m gonna take over the world and *then* murder everyone”. I like that “I'm gonna run this nothing town” makes me think of the city of Baldur’s Gate specifically. The “Bite my tongue, bide my time” line at the very beginning also reminds me of how she’s holding back her urge and *not* murdering Gortash until he’s done being useful to her. (This could also fit well into her post-tadpole vibes also. Biding her time in Act 1, actively planning to take the brain in Act 3).

I mean. Honestly explaining myself almost feels silly. It’s RIGHT THERE. This song is definitely a mutual one with Gortash, with both of them feeling this towards each other. A particular line that hits especially good is “Smells like something I’ve forgotten, curled up died and now it’s rotten” because a) yaaaaay rot imagery and b) alludes to Briar having deliberately killed that part of herself that tries to care about people.

Another one that honestly speaks for itself and a strong contender for a possible animatic because YAY CULT LEADER BUDDIES. I also particularly like this cover because I loooove the sort of wicked relish these ladies sing with and the more sultry of the two singers is one of my headcanon voices for Briar. Favorite lines include “If they say that I’m a god, that’s what I am” (so much so that I drew a piece for it) and also “If we don’t comply [...] I could see us being sacrificed or stuffed” (which I imagine Briar saying with a huge grin on her face at the idea).

This is one that I like to sort of fill in the nuance and contrast between Briar’s view and Gortash’s. “A coronation, a beheading, From the funeral to the wedding. Do you think they care where the crown goes?” is VERY much a bhaalist talking to a banite, you know?

[felixravinstills]

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

passage choice:

“For years, I thought about asking my father where he got the meat just to watch him crack. In the end, I decided it didn’t matter. It kept me alive, didn’t it? If I was starving with no there option, I’d do it again. I’d close my eyes and eat it. Savor the first full meal I’d had in months. It doesn’t matter what it was. It kept me alive.”

Why are you telling me this?”

His voice came out in a whisper.

Were girls always this confusing and terrifying? 

Well.

Now that he thought about it. Artemisia could be both those things.

“I’m tired of scrapes,” Persephone said, jostling him from his thoughts. 

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story? (it doesn’t say i can specify but…request for artemisia mayhaps?)

ask game

Thanks for the ask, Lily! So fun to rant about Close Your Eyes again... it's almost been half a year since I started writing it... 4 months since I finished it...

18. Passage Question (See Above Excerpt From Ch. 2, Close Your Eyes)

I remember wanting to acknowledge Festus/Persephone in Close Your Eyes, because I do love them, and I hate when a character's more "canon" love interest gets kind of sidelined or vilified to prop up the fic's ship. Obviously, as she's not really central to the story, Persephone doesn't appear very often but I wanted to make sure it was clear when I wrote her that she had her own life that she was living.

The original draft had the interaction as much shorter, but the intention was always to have it be longer. Most of the changes was me finding my characterization of Persephone.

I've talked about my version of Persephone being more confident than yours, so this is kind of that shining through. I like writing strange, unnerving women (that might be obvious idk), and this is also that shining through. I was like "what if she's not ashamed? what if she's come to terms with it as just something she did? she did it to survive, why regret it?" I think in someways it's more unnerving for someone to act weirdly normal and well-adjusted about an incident that other people would normally be horrified by than to be tortured about it.

It's also kind of a sign of her kindness and trust in Festus that she's telling him this secret (because while she's not ashamed, it could damage her reputation) and also basically telling him as they are breaking up that he should just get over himself and admit that he's in love with his two best friends. The main thing we know about her is being kind, and I felt that should shine through even if she's in a very frustrating position.

Because of the situation, I also have her asserting herself and her boundaries. He's wasting her time if he's not committed to this relationship. She's going to find something more fulfilling. She's tired of scraps. <- me realizing I put scrapes instead scraps (whoops let me go edit that real quick).

This answer was mostly just explaining choices. The process, as with most of my writing, is brute force hitting a passage with editing until it makes sense with the rest of the story.

25. Weird, Hyper-Specific Detail (Artemisia)

Hmmm. Unsure if this is weird or hyper-specific, but it does never come up in the stories (directly)!

Artemisia is so resentful towards most of the Capitol because of her childhood. You'd think that even in Close Your Eyes that she'd be a pretty likely candidate for questioning the status quo and maybe turning rebel, but she doesn't do that (in that fic). The reason that Artemisia never contemplates becoming a rebel in Close Your Eyes (before Felix's death, although even after, she doesn't really rebel) is because Brandy kills Arachne.

I don't really focus on Artemisia and Arachne being friends, but I do think someone from the Districts killing Arachne definitely stops Artemisia from truly empathizing with them. That's why it it's kind of ironic (and important to me) that in All That You Can Do, Artemisia actually sees herself in Brandy, and that is what sparks Artemisia to rebel in that fic.

Close Your Eyes! Artemisia unfortunately was not immune to the Capitol's attempts at utilizing her friend's death to further the Capitol-District divide.

[sheikah-simp]

Exile//Vilify, One Year Retrospective

Well folks, as of May 31st, 2023, it has officially been one whole year since the last update for Exile//Vilify was released, and it simultaneously feels like way longer than that and not very long at all. But, in celebration, I wanted to take some time to look back on my thoughts and ideas and processes that led up to the creation of this story, and share some appreciation for all that’s happened since then.

First of all, this book is massive, and it was way more massive than I thought it would be when I set off to write it. It is almost as long as Tolkein’s “Two Towers” and other similar novels—not what I was expecting when I went in to write an origin story about a character completely lacking in personality with no backstory. But if there is one thing I do, and do well, it is commit to the bit. And here, the bit was doing justice to a character I saw having so much potential but was, quite literally, doomed by the narrative, and built to be a throwaway character for a spinoff game consumed by his own hubris and never developed or mentioned again. And I thought to myself, “Man, that sucks! What would it be like to be him?” And the answer is: it would suck a lot, actually. But also in that vein, I still wanted to portray how his life was still a life worth living, and his story, one that was worth telling. Even if it is one that doesn’t “matter” to Nintendo or the LOZ franchise as a whole, even if it’s one I had to entirely make up grasping for straws, it is one that mattered to us. And that’s kind of the thesis of the entire book.

Many of you know I’m a Pokemon writer (hence username) and I never really intended to write in other fandoms, but I dont know what I expected. Something about this character just fucking gripped me, and I couldnt let myself stop until his story was out of me. But the thing is, I wasn’t super interactive within the Pokemon fandom. I had actually just ended a huge general life hiatus for mental health and had made a resolution to get back to what I love. The result of that was the completion of The Devil and the Dead Sea and the start of my hardenshipping series. But I just kind of dropped that book on AO3 when it was complete and then didnt interact with anyone. I wrote it and then uploaded it all at once, which didnt give me a lot of time or opportunity to develop a community and discuss updates. I had a few people who reached out, but nothing close to the type of community I’ve felt now.

I have been so full of love and blown away by the support I’ve received from this small but mighty niche in the community. So first of all, I just want to say thank you. I'm so glad that I could bring this story to life and so blessed to think of how many people it's touched. So now I just want to take a moment and look back on the book and how it started, what things changed, and where it's going and what's happening in the future.

Exile//Vilify's conception

Does it feel like a trial? Does it trouble your mind the way you trouble mine?

The band, The National, has inspired I think all of my fics to this point. After playing Age of Calamity, Astor had been swimming around so much in my head, especially since so much of his mysteries were unanswered. And one day blorbo was on my brain in just the correct way at just the correct time when I happened to be listening to a completely unrelated song from Portal 2, Exile Vilify. The book, of course, has nothing to do with Portal, but on that particular day, the lyrics really spoke to me of Astor and his potential struggles, and I became fascinated with the idea of him and his ideological square-off against the king: a man who was so set on defying prophecy and the man who, well, prophesied it.

So Exile//Vilify was born, to me, actually in the concept of a butting of heads between King Rhoam and Astor. I saw the song lyrics as a dialogue between the two of them, mutual antagonistic (but also troubled) feelings shared between them. So King Rhoam was actually going to have a much bigger role in my original vision for Exile//Vilify. In fact there was a toss up in my mind between whether or not he'd have an odd homoerotic rivalry thing for the king, or his crush on the queen, but--

But the simple fact of the matter is I found Rhoam super unlikeable and sadly couldn't find a good way to get into his head in a way that would be sustainable for a novel. So while the concept is what initially gripped me, Exile//Vilify ended up going in a different direction, although the inception of that concept is definitely still there. The closest I've gotten to writing my desired dynamic between Astor and the King was in "Prophecies to Waterfowl," a one-shot in my short stories compilation Stories from Exile. ("Prophecies to Waterfowl," aside from "Voe and You," is my favorite of my stories in that compilation).

Other things that were cut/changed in the writing process

When I realized the fic was getting as massive as it was, I wanted to streamline its focus and decided to cut down on some plotlines. I could have just left it was it was, because fic writing is about being self-indulgent, but I want to challenge myself to be a better writer than that. (Not that there is anything wrong with just writing to be self-indulgent, but I use my fics as my place to practice and get better, so I need to.. actually practice).

One of the biggest things that was therefore cut was the relationship between Astor and Ganondorf, and the implications of Astor's past lives. How Astor became the one selected by Ganondorf. Because in the fic, it just ended up seeming random, which was intentional. Fate is merciless and random and does not pick and choose, while also picking and choosing.

There were going to be more Astor and Ganon dream scenes planned, and a plotline of Astor's "awakening" somewhere along the line where he unlocked visions of his past as a different kind of royal seer--the seer to Ganondorf. There are hints of this in the dreams, but nothing concrete.

Still, the idea of what "could be" still fascinates me, and I love the idea of exploring the idea of Astor as Ganondorf's reincarnated seer, and I have a one shot that I am currently working on that explores this very concept, and can be considered canon (or semi-canon) to Exile//Vilify. I hope to have that out... soon. Ish. Eventually. I have a lot cooking right now.

Other honorable mentions:

Astor was going to have more blatant romantic feelings for Rose.

Astor was going to have more blatant romantic (or complicated) feelings for Rhoam.

The contention between Ganondorf trying to push Astor into evil and Thelem agreeing to block Ganon from Astor in the meantime was also going to be explored more, but Ganondorf got his last laugh on that eventually.

Even more fucking Order of the Seers stuff (culture, rituals, etc)

Chapters of Astor stalking Link and Zelda leading up to the awakening of the Calamity

More Yiga scenes (my little teen Kohga gives me oxygen) and Astor building a cult following of people who worship Ganon

Astor having basically a weird prophetical drug addiction to the "high" of witnessing the Great Calamity in his visions (this is kind of implied in the book, but not expanded on)

All of these things, ultimately, were great ideas, and things I'd love to explore and maybe will some day if I'm ever inspired enough on any of them to write anything concrete. They were just things that slightly detracted from the story I wanted to tell. But that's why I keep Stories from Exile around.

So What's Next?

As I mentioned, I have a few things Exile//Vilify related still in the works. The first is that Astor/Ganondorf one shot I was talking about. (Likely going to be called "Prophet to a Gerudo King.") I also have a secret surprise fic commission that is also Astor/Ganondorf related and involves an AU and the Stories from Exile universe ;) (that one will hopefully be out soon).

I have a lot of things on my Stories from Exile list that were not out yet, and I may revisit them if I'm feeling or have the time. I'd love to keep updating that one every now and again, now that Exile//Vilify is complete, just to keep the world alive.

I also am planning on doing a limited, hard-cover release of Exile//Vilify to celebrate its publication. I have a great team of people who have been slowly helping me copyedit this massive beast so I can get it printed from a self-publishing company. It will not be publicly listed for sale, as it is illegal for me to sell or make money off of it. This hardcover will only be available to obtain for those who contact me on tumblr during a specific time frame. That time frame is not now. When I have a more clear set date for that, I will circulate posts. You will have to cover the cost of shipping and maybe some of the printing depending on what the cost is on my end, but the book will be free. It will likely be 500+ pages. It will likely happen by the end of the year.

That said, as the book nears being printed, if you would like to lend a hand proofreading, there is still time!! Please just DM me. You will have the option to be credited in the hardcover if you'd like.

And finally, you'll still be able to find me here, and updating in my other writing. I still really love receiving asks about this book, so please never be a stranger to my inbox. Sometimes I have more energy and power to reply than others, but every ask always makes my day.

I have planned "Trouble Will Find Me," which is a Thelem and Azelphir prequel that will detail some of the stuff that I didn't have time to develop about the Order of the Seers, and Thelem's origin story. This one I might just release all in one chunk - uncertain right now. At that point though... isn't that kind of just original fiction.... set in the BOTW world???? Unsure.

I'll also be returning to my Pokemon series, The Dead Sea Trilogy, if you have any interest in that fandom or my other writing.

That's all I have for you! Thank you all so much for an amazing year (really more than that, since I've been posting about this big honkin' thing since December 2020...) and thank you so much for being such a great community. I can't wait to see where else this journey leads.

[guardian-rocket]

Now that GOTG3 is available digitally I am reposting MY (mun's) version of Rocket's backstory that I wrote back in 2019, before we had a MCU canon-- not to be canon to my RPC but just because I wanted to share what I originally came up with. This is written as told by Rocket, and was from a RP where he finally opened up to Peter Quill about where he came from.

Warning: It is emotional and big thanks to the RPer who wrote this with me, @recklessxndrelentless for being so patient with emotionalistic issues boy, Rocket. Read more below (it's long!)

“Whoa!” Peter ducked as the beer can went flying past him, and he blinked confusedly at Rocket, an incredulous look on his face.

“Hey, it ain’t like I meant to! It’s not nice to throw things at people, either.” He continued to move toward Rocket, stopping when he was next to him before sitting down.

“What’re you doin’ up here, anyway?”

“Drinkin’,” Rocket said, grabbing at the plastic bound six pack at his footpaw, two already removed, one can that was nearly pelted at Peter’s face and the other one between Rocket’s bare feet.  It seemed he was sharing.

He was in one of his moods, looking up to the stars at a particular quadrant, one he knew to well.  His eyes were a little glossier than usual, and he swallowed hard trying to get his mind off what he was thinking about, maybe get away from thinking about the things that occurred on his home planet, and the special someone he lost 

At least he got a straight answer. Peter looked down at the six-pack, pulling one of the cans out of the plastic ring and cracking it open. He knew something was off with Rocket– he’d seen him swallow, and normally he’d at least be chattering about something with him if he were okay.

A few moments of silence, and Peter spoke, softer than before. “What’cha lookin’ at?”

The silence was tense, but even if Rocket didn’t want to be seen getting a surge of sadness from whatever mourning he was feeling, he was fixated on it.  He had never really talked to any of the Guardians in depth about his homeworld or what happened.  He really wasn’t what you’d call “Nostalgic” but somehow it hit him, and he wanted to let people in… even just a little.

“Over there,” he said, pointing up at a cluster of stars that were barely visible.  “it’s the keystone quadrant, which is where I’m from…. this is the closest I been to it since I … left.”

The technical word was ‘escape’ but he didn’t want to make it sound so melodramatic.  It WAS a traumatic story, which is why he typically chose to suppress those nightmarish memories.

As Rocket spoke, Peter began sipping his drink. Normally he’d be boisterous, asking what the hell was so interesting about a bunch of stars– but Rocket’s attitude was enough to keep him from being rowdy.

He looked to where Rocket was pointing, squinting slightly at first– he’d looked in that direction numerous times, and never did he think anything was there. But hearing Rocket say that was where he was from, it made sense why he was staring there so intently.

“Oh…” Peter didn’t know what else to say, really– he’d never been good with words. He took a swig of his drink, sighing after he swallowed, and after a few minutes of silence, he spoke again.

“Would you, y’know… ever go back?”

“Nothin’ there for me,” Rocket answered.  He then took a heavy drink from his second can, though he wasn’t able to drink much more than that, keeping the half full can in his hand.

“Never wanted to go back.  I decimated the facility I was made in… lost the only lady I cared about… not exactly a memory lane I wanna go down,” he said.

He was thinking about it, the deep seated loss that had always been a chip on his shoulder.  

Shrugging, Peter moved his arm when Rocket leaned against him, switching the hand he was holding his drink in.

“I dunno, I thought when you said you were from that quadrant that maybe you were homesick. I didn’ realize you meant that… y’know, what happened t’you happened there.”

“No… just missin’ someone,” he replied, taking a smaller sip from his drink.  

He didn’t look to that cluster of stars feeling anything but her memory.  He’d dealt with so much loss over his life and it’d be unfair to rank them, but losing her was what made him different.

“You know…” he said, gently clearing his throat, “I was created to be something of a living weapon– kinda like what Thanos did with Gamora but more bluntly.  No halfway brainwashing with family-like affections, just straight up, rigid scientific engineering with no qualms of how I was treated, and if I didn’t survive I was simply another failure to add to their death count.  Gamora was enhanced but with no risk to her life. Not that I’m jealous or nothin’, it is just how different it would be.  So many experiments never made it out of there alive.” “Ah, okay…” He couldn’t blame Rocket, really. Once he’d found out how to tell what direction a certain quadrant was in, he’d often stared toward the direction of Earth, missing his mother. He still felt that pang of hurt in his chest sometimes, but it had gotten better after becoming closer to the rest of the Guardians.

Peter looked back down at Rocket once he started talking, a frown crossing his lips as he listened. “Wish neither of you had t’go through what y’did… by comparison, my life was better. I mean, constantly being told I’d be eaten sounds better’n anything you guys dealt with.”

“Oh there was that too.  When I was a bounty hunter my targets were always talkin’ about eatin’ me or skinnin’ me or whatever.  That or the prisoners, anyway.  You were the first humie… to even treat me even half decent, same for Groot… but when I look up at them stars… I just feel… broken?”

Rocket didn’t know much about love or heartbreak, his heart was full of loss and grief but it all started there, in that quadrant. He took another drink from his can, he was feeling a little miserable talking about it.  He though confiding might make him feel better but perhaps the years of suppression were amplified by it.

His body crumpled against Peter, legs curling inwards as he made himself smaller, his tail clinging to his own body, ears folded back, even his toes curled in more, and beer can in hand his arms wrapped over his head.  He grit his teeth.  Maybe it was just being drunk, but he sobbed dryly. 

Out of everything Peter had seen from Rocket, this was the first time he’d seen him this upset. Yes, he remembered just how upset he was over Groot— but it hadn’t been like this.

He was startled when Rocket curled up against him and started sobbing— but while he was terrible at comforting people, he wasn’t just going to sit there. Setting his beer down, he wrapped his arms around Rocket, leaning down slightly so he could hug him properly.

“Hey… hey, it’s okay…” His voice was soft, gentle even. “You’re not broken, Rocket. I know you might feel that way, but you’re not.”

Rocket wasn’t just crying for himself, he cried for his mother, his siblings, the other experiments… Lylla….

It came pouring out of him, for the first time in years, he mourned.  He felt so foolish, crying there.  He wasn’t going to dump it all on Peter, he couldn’t.  Peter wouldn’t understand.  Peter never knew any of them.

Rocket set his drink down, so he could at least wipe his eyes, even if it was a little pointless since the tears didn’t stop.  He was an emotional mess, it was so indignifying but he couldn’t help it.  Any sense of dignity melted away the drunker he was– and even if he was only slightly intoxicated, he felt vulnerable and oddly safe.

He wasn’t going to gush on about it, he was just grateful Peter wasn’t acting weirded out by it, or making him feel more self conscious about his little crisis.  Reminiscing on the past wasn’t something that did him any good.  He was sensitive about it.  Talking in depth was practically impossible, he usually brushed it off in any conversation as if it didn’t bug him– but it DID. 

He let Peter comfort him, because he was in no state not to accept it.  He felt so much shame for acting like that, but he was so frustrated having dug up those old wounds.

Peter would never be weirded out by Rocket— grief was grief, he’d had his share. They all had. But keeping it in for as long as he had was probably damaging to Rocket, and that, along with him being his friend, was one of the reasons why he was trying his best to comfort him.

He decided to do something he’d done before, which was to gently place one hand on Rocket’s head and stroke him, down to the back of his neck, before moving his hand back to the top of his head. He didn’t know if it was still comforting, but at least he was trying.

“You don’t gotta keep it in. If you wanna talk… well, I ain’t gonna judge.”

“What’s there to tell?” Rocket asked between pathetic sniffles… although it’d be a good opportunity for Peter to ask questions.  Rocket didn’t even know where to begin.  He didn’t really consider that anyone would want to hear about Halfworld or the facility he was made in.  No one probed about it before.  Normally he’d probably be better talking about it, not so many tears, but he had done this to himself, thinking so hard about it and letting himself grieve, even before Peter came out, he was upset before he even showed up.

He didn’t fuss about having the other stroking his fur.  It had been a long time since he let someone do that. 

Peter never really liked asking people about their pasts— it wasn’t just something you asked people, not normally anyway. Meeting people like Drax and Gamora who told him all about themselves not long after they’d met made him more comfortable talking about his own past, but with someone like Rocket, he didn’t want to shove his problems in the other’s face.

Shrugging and continuing to pet Rocket, Peter tilted his head. “Whatever you wanna tell. I’m not gonna judge.”

Rocket tried really hard to stop himself from crying, or at least to get his eyes to stop welling up. “Sometimes I do worry that I’m gonna die and no one is gonna really know anything about me…” Rocket admitted.

“It’s not like I don’t wanna talk about it, I just don’t know how… I mean I aint the kinda person who wants to live in the past or nothin’ but it’s weird when no one knows about it… I just keep it in because I don’t think anyone cares.”

Peter listened, nodding his head while Rocket spoke. He didn’t comment on how Rocket was still crying— he figured he knew that already, and he wasn’t going to make it worse.

“I used t’do that, too. Y’know… for all the shit I talked about Yondu, he coulda been worse. I kept my mom’s death a secret from him for a while ‘til he asked why I was so frantic after he snatched me… almost couldn’t tell him ‘cause I was so upset.”

He sighed softly. “Point is… someone cares. I care. No matter what it is, I care what happened.”

“Well… there was a lot of us in there, bein’ tested on. A lot of my memory is fuzzy about what they all did… it felt like it was never ending, and I don’t even have any idea how long I was in there. I was on so many sedatives and drugs, reality just fazed in and out like some lucid dream. I’d wake up for a moment, my insides just… hanging out as they modified me, I’d wake up another time, my hands were being ripped apart… and even worse things… but never for long. We’d get knocked out, fed through tubes to keep our bodies alive, when they stopped tinkering long enough to let us wake up… and of course it all hurt. Every bit they changed I remember vividly it channeling with pain. They threw us into observation chambers to let us ‘heal’ from the operations… and that’s when I met her… Lylla… in the chamber next to mine. She was like me, but… you know… also different,” he started to describe his time on Half-World best he could.

“We still didn’t know what was goin’ on, but it was like they opened our ‘third eye’ as they call it. We understood what the people were saying when they talked, we could talk to each other, we could understand how all the mechanics worked around us. As our bodies were given a chance to recover we saw what was happening to the other experiments. There was a lot of talk about what the scientists did, the tests they ran, and of course the injections for the subjects that didn’t pass.”

He shuddered a little, remembering how the other experiments would be put down.

Whatever Peter had been expecting to hear… well, it wasn’t quite this. He remembered just how upset Rocket had been when he was drunk and yelled at Drax and Gamora before they saw the Collector, of course, but he didn’t expect that it was worse than what he’d said before.

Having finished his first beer, he reached over and pulled another one out of the plastic, downing about a third of it before he spoke again. “Jesus…”

Somehow he knew that there was more. It was just something in the way that Rocket spoke that told him there was something else he had to say. So instead of saying anything else himself, he was silent again, putting his drink down and watching Rocket. He nodded to show he could keep going, and that he was still listening.

Rocket swallowed hard as he continued the tale…

“We saw what happened when they didn’t like what they saw, so we knew we had t’get out, but the place was pretty air tight on security… so Lylla and I started to devise a plan. I was really hellbent on gettin’ my ma and siblings out too, they hadn’t been altered, but they’re family, so … Durrin’ our tests, we had to fight drones and take ‘em down unarmed. Each test we took, we destroyed them and we’d start very carefully stealing parts. They always scrapped the drones we broke, and each one was supposed to both train and test a different skill… so its not like they’d notice a little something was gone.

Lylla and I started working together to make a micro computer to disable the security and open the cages. It took us weeks but when we were close to done we talked about our plan. We used the computer we made to find the building’s blueprints, and figured out all the access codes and altered the hand scanners so they’d activate from any touch. She suggested we open all the cages and used the chaos as a distraction, that way every test subject, altered or not would have a chance to escape. Her family had already been tested on and disposed, but mine were just in cages, and we were doing so well in the tests we were the only subjects that were still alive that had the alterations done.

I never told her about my family, I didn’t wanna bring her down and remind her of what she already loss, and when we finally opened those cages, we opened the stock cages too… Lylla was about to run for the exit, if we both went, well… I’m sure we would have made it, but I thought if I ran to get my family, she’d go get my family free and we could meet outside somewhere. It caught her off guard, and she followed after me instead. She didn’t even know what I was doing, she just followed… I told her to run, that I could meet her outside when we were free. She said, ‘not without you, we’re in this together.’”

Peter had a feeling– a bad feeling– that he knew where this was going. Somehow he knew that this plan wouldn’t be as good as it seemed.

He continued to listen, and slowly his gaze turned toward Rocket again. Once Rocket said that Lylla was telling him they were in this together, that was when he really knew…

“Rocket…” His voice was quiet, and his eyes showed pity– pity for his friend, and what he went through. “She… didn’t make it, did she?”

“Long story short, no… she didn’t… “ Rocket said softly. He was having trouble telling all the details.

“It was my fault,” he added even softer. “If she wasn’t following me, if I explained what I was up to, something mighta been different…”

He didn’t want to go as far as expressing it was a waste to try and save his family because they saw him as a threat when they were united, but all the talk wore him out already. He just wanted to be done with it, maybe being willing to talk more later, but Peter got the jist of it, he told him more than he had ever discussed before. He could stop there and be alright knowing Peter might understand him a little better.

The End.

[beyourlionheart]

lamb to the slaughter

WHAT IS THIS?!??

So when I found out about Gale's backstory with Mystra and how Elminster was involved, I hate-wrote a scene with them. I never finished it and it'll probably never see the light of day beyond this, but here's a snippet. (CW: Grooming)

.

“Gale, my dear boy, look at you!” Elminster Aumar stands tall and proud beside his pupil, his spine straight despite his advanced age. The number is even higher than most people would assume — magic can afford one many things in life, if one is eager enough to grasp at the branches of its power.  Gale beams at his reflection in the tailor’s mirror. It’s far from perfect, but perfect hadn’t attracted the mother of all magic herself, had it? Even the glorious purple robes that Elminster had ordered for him can’t hide his acne, his perpetually greasy hair, or the way his belly protrudes in the wrong places. Yet, for some reason, Mystra had plucked him from all the competition in Faerûn.  Well, Gale knows the reason. He’d been well beyond his peers from the moment he could have peers. While they had been busy slaving away over spells that they would never fully grasp, magic had come to him with the same ease as breathing. At seventeen, he was about to do what no one else at Blackstaff Academy could ever even dream of accomplishing.  He was about to become chosen. Gale of Waterdeep had never been chosen before. Not by anyone — certainly not by a goddess. “What will it be like, Elminster?” Gale asks, turning his head to look at his mentor. It’s hard to imagine the old man standing where he is now, once upon a time, but Gale imagines it must’ve happened. He must’ve been eager and young and ready to meet the goddess of magic. He, too, must’ve felt as if the whole world was at his fingertips.

“It will be all you hope for and more, Gale,” Elminister says simply. He’d said something similar each time Gale had asked, and yet Gale keeps asking; constantly living in hope that Elminster would shed new light on what his life is about to become. There’s a pause, and Gale can tell that the old man is contemplating something. “Come on, Elminster! Out with it!” His smile is wide as he digs for more knowledge, bearing slightly crooked teeth. “You’ve been her chosen. You know what it is to sit in front of a goddess!” Elminster busies himself with the fabric of Gale’s chimere, which glints with gold inlays in the Waterdeep sun. Gale can’t help from tapping his feet impatiently while the man frets, ignoring the question posed to him at least a dozen times.  Finally, finally, Gale gets his answer. “You should be prepared for her to want things from you, my boy,” Elminster begins to explain, “she will expect them.” He doesn’t fill in the blanks, and despite Gale’s innate ability to parse magical texts as quickly as reading the morning copy of the Waterdeep Sentry, he lacks the social awareness to catch his meaning. “She will want me to perform magic for her, you mean? I’m ready for that. I’ve been practising.” Gale twists his hand through the air, watching as light dances between his fingers. It’s a paltry little show in comparison to his full power, to say nothing of Elminster’s, but he’s happy to demonstrate the ease at which the weave responds to his call.  Elminster seems completely unphased by his little show of magic, and instead merely shakes his head and lets out a chuckle. “No, no, my boy. Well, yes, she will want to train you to become more in tune with the weave than you could manage to become without her guidance, but that’s not what I am referring to.” Gale lets his hand fall back to his side. “Like what?” Elminster seems to be chewing on his words. Plucking them out carefully, one by one, so as not to offend. “She will… invite you to her chambers, before long. You will experience pleasures that you will not be able to comprehend until you have experienced them.” “What, like sex?” Gale balks and sputters. Distantly, he’d been aware that gods would, from time to time, have relations with mortals, but he hadn’t thought that to be part of what he was signing up for. He had had sex before — a sweaty, sticky, hurried experience with a fellow student from his year whom he had tutored for a semester. He hadn’t enjoyed it very much, and he simply cannot imagine the Mother of Magic wanting to replicate such a thing with him. The chuckle that comes from Elminster’s throat is nearly convincing. He does a good job of pretending to be on Gale’s side. “In a way, yes,” he replies. Gale stares at him with his wide eyes. Elminster stands straight again and sets his wrinkled hands on his hips. “It won’t be like anything you might think you’ve experienced before, if that’s what you’re thinking. She will want to experience you the way that gods do. In Elysium.” Gale’s heart beats fast in his chest, thrumming like a war drum. He’d been preparing for this for his whole life, or so he thought. Nothing about magic had ever frightened him, but… this? What was he to expect? What if Mystra wasn’t satisfied with him? Should this have been a subject of his studies for all these years? He gathers the edges of his robes into his sweaty palms.

[sollucets]

ficlet: rumor has it

#ockissweek fic for aster x ivy! postcanon ocean eyes (thus david/angel/darlin/sam although sam is not in this one) wolf pack meeting shenanigans featuring surprise cameo appearances from my blood moon mc juni moreno & their bff (best fucking friend) marco.

this was edited very little, did not use the prompts because i wrote it before they were out, and is pure self-indulgence, as is the spirit of things.

notes: aster is using she/her in this fic. t rating, 1.7k

💜

“Hi, baby,” says Aster, dropping into the seat next to Ivy and settling her arm around their shoulders. “Davey and Alpha Moreno are doing just fine for themselves, I think. You getting acquainted with the snacks?”

Ivy glances up from their plate of various tiny fancy meats and cheeses and gives their mate a speaking look. It’s an effort to keep the look that way; she’s so pretty all dressed up, her lips glossy and dangly gold earrings swinging and green eyes accented with the same.

She laughs at them, squeezing her arm around their shoulders, and nuzzles her nose briefly into Ivy’s temple. “Never change. I always know where to find you at these things.”

Ivy’s still faintly surprised that “at these things” is a common enough occurrence for that to be a useful observation. They’re at a formal, basically diplomatic meeting with a pack that’s just recently established itself in an unempowered town a few miles away, talking about lines of communication and shared resources and all that sort of thing. More than that, though, they’re just feeling each other out — David deciding if he likes the other Alpha, each party’s entourage kind of scenting around each other to get their measures.

They’d have never in a million years considered themself a useful participant in something like this. The first time David had asked them to come, they’d laughed in his face for telling a bad joke. But he’d been deadly serious. “Your opinions are worth a lot to me,” he’d said, in that tone that makes it impossible to argue. His speech voice, Aster calls it.

Sam comes to pack higher-up meetings too, sometimes, although his schedule is always harder to work with. He’s not here today, busy closing some kind of deal with Vincent. Ivy thinks that maybe Sam’s purpose is the same as theirs: a litmus test. Bait, sort of.

“You meet anyone interesting?” asks Aster.

“Yeah, actually,” they say, leaning into Aster’s hold just slightly. Ivy made a maybe-friend in the Moreno pack earlier, a peppy guy with curly blonde hair and tattoos that reminded them acutely of Ash. They tell Aster about him, honestly cheered by their ability to have a posturing-free conversation with someone who’s clearly in Alpha Moreno’s very good graces. They really seem down-to-earth.

This kind of talk is Aster’s job here, taking stock of all the various interpersonal connections and backstories of people present. She’s been doing it for as long as she’s known about magic, actually, helping Ash resolve disputes in their own pack with the power of gossip and aggressive kindness, and she’s very good at it now.

“I have no evidence whatsoever,” says Aster now, lowering her voice and speaking directly into Ivy’s ear (a reasonable precaution in a conference center full of werewolves), “but I’m like 99% sure him and Alpha Moreno have fucked. Don’t think they are now, but it’s in the body language.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Ivy says drily, although the corner of their mouth quirks up.

Aster starts a meandering story about someone from the other pack they haven’t met yet, and honestly Ivy is listening, but they find their gaze wandering towards the head of the room anyway. David is up there with Asher, talking to the other pack’s Alpha. He’s wearing a dark blue button-down and well-fitted dress pants, and Ivy’s been admiring his thighs all day and sees no reason to stop now.

Their obvious distraction doesn’t make them slow enough to miss Aster trying to steal a piece of salami off their plate, though, and they catch her wrist without even looking at her. “Thief.”

Aster giggles, bright and loud, right in their ear. It’s almost enough to mask the voice that overlays it from a ways away, a hushed, “…believe… right in front of Alpha Shaw?”

Stiffening, Ivy lets their eyes follow the source of the voice. It sounded high-pitched, like it might match well to a brown-haired woman two tables over who has her head leaned in towards the person sitting next to her. They don’t remember her name, if they were told it. Their eyes narrow.

“Baby?” asks Aster, tugging her wrist out of their grip with little resistance.

Ivy looks sidelong at her and jerks their chin in a little cut-off motion, and Aster gets it instantly, closing her mouth and pretending to become distracted by Ivy’s plate again.

This does allow her to steal that salami, but it’s okay. Ivy has other things to focus on.

Namely: “You’re sure… his mate?”

“Yes… introduced them to the Alpha… So why would… flirting?”

They are intentionally speaking quietly, and it’s hard to hear across the room, but Ivy has always been good at this sort of thing, and they can sort of see the woman’s lips moving.

“She’s talking about us,” they say to Aster, not bothering to moderate their volume.

Sure enough, the woman’s friend almost immediately shushes her, and both of their eyes dart over to where Ivy and Aster are sitting.

“We’re a hot topic,” says Aster cheerily. “Can’t blame her.”

Ivy turns to look at their partner. By the way her eyes are sparkling, she’s absolutely about to cause a problem, and the only reason she hasn’t yet is to check with Ivy.

Honestly, that’s one of the sweetest things someone like her could do. They raise their eyebrows at her, and the curve of her returning grin goes wicked. “Wanna give them some real gossip?”

Ivy sighs, fond, and says, “Do your worst.”

Before the last word is even out of their mouth, Aster’s free hand is already curling around their jaw. They let her move them as she pleases, angle their head just slightly up, and close their eyes into the press of her lips.

Kissing Aster is always nice. They don’t usually prefer to do it with an audience this size, but they aren’t going to complain about kissing. Her hand is cool on their face and she tastes like cheap lip gloss and Ivy can actually hear the little cut-off gasp that the woman one table down lets out.

Their mouths stick a little when Aster pulls away. Ivy opens their eyes to wrinkle their nose up at her, unable to contain a small smile. “I think you made your point.”

“You think?” echoes Aster, eyes bright and cheeks a little pink. She looks extremely pleased with herself.

Ivy leans forward and presses a quick, there-and-gone kiss to Aster’s cheek. It leaves a faint imprint of her own lip gloss.

Aster blinks at them a few times, caught off-guard. Ivy can’t blame her; they are not traditionally one for initiating public displays of affection. It’s immensely satisfying, though, looking at her all blushy and surprised. “Um,” she says after a minute. Shakes her head. “Let’s go talk to Davey.”

They walk up to the front of the room together. Ivy can feel eyes following them and chooses to ignore it, only stopping briefly at Aster’s request to make sure they’re not interrupting anything too important.

Asher has gone off somewhere and David and Alpha Moreno are just talking about — gardening? huh — so Ivy doesn’t feel bad about derailing it. Both the Alphas turn to look when they approach, David’s expression going pinched and suspicious when he looks at Aster’s face. Alpha Moreno, a taller person with dark curly hair and visible claw-mark scars across the left side of their jaw, just regards them with a neutral expression.

“What is it,” David says, more of a demand than a question.

Aster loops her arm around Ivy’s waist, fingers curling around their hipbone, and shoots Alpha Moreno an unreadable look. “Didn’t you meet Ivy?”

They hadn’t, actually, not one-on-one. Ivy isn’t the kind to actively seek someone out to talk to them, and Alpha Moreno’s had someone bothering them every single time Ivy’s looked over today.

“Alpha Shaw’s mentioned them,” the Alpha says. Their voice is nice, honestly, mid-tone and gentle. “But we haven’t talked.”

“What’s this about, Aster?” asks David, slowly. His expression is getting more and more pinched. “Did someone say something?”

That line of questioning will lead nowhere good. Ivy’s not surprised David caught on so quickly, but they are surprised he’d just outright bring it up in front of the other Alpha without even pretending at subtlety. He must actually like them. “No one said anything to us,” Ivy says, which is technically true. They nod politely to Alpha Moreno, movements a little jerky.

“I just wanted to make sure I introduced our mate,” Aster says, tone perfectly cheerful. “That’s all.”

Ivy watches Alpha Moreno’s dark eyes widen for the tiniest fraction of a second, but they don’t betray another response. “A pleasure,” they say, offering a hand.

Looking them directly in the eye, Ivy takes it. Their grip is strong but not overly so, and they meet Ivy’s gaze calmly but warmly enough, no hint of consternation or disapproval or anything else.

Ivy lets their shoulders relax, intentionally visible to their partners to either side of them. “Nice to meet you,” they say. “I’m Ivy.” They think of Aster deeming the other Alpha nice enough, of Marco’s excited chatter earlier, and add, “I’m glad David can talk about plants to someone else, now. He gets really into planning out the yard and I never know how to say I don’t recognize like half the names of that shit.”

This is what gets through to them, apparently; Alpha Moreno snorts out a little surprised laugh that lights up their face. “You’re making me sound cultured.”

Ivy shrugs at them a little, still uncomfortable in the face of unknown authority, and considers turning to leave now that the point is thoroughly made.

David puts a hand on Ivy’s shoulder. He’s shooting them an irritated look, but his grip is gentle and his brow is still furrowed in a way that indicates concern instead of annoyance.

They offer him a little shadow of a smile, and he softens instantly. “We handled it,” they say, uncaring if there’s no context for anyone else. “It’s okay.”

“I’m sure if Aster was involved I’ll hear about it eventually,” he says, but any real attempt at annoyance is gone, and he turns back towards the other Alpha with a parting squeeze to Ivy’s shoulder.

“Aww, honey,” says Aster, blowing David a loud and obnoxious kiss. “You know me so well.”

[goodgirlgonebard]

hi, if you’re here for the first time it’s probably because of AO3 so first off I just want to say — THANK YOU!

below you’ll find my little intro, my masterlist of my fics & other social links. thanks for visiting! feel free to stick around 🧡

asks & DMs are always welcome, but do not DM me unless you are 18+ (I am 24!)

about me

My name is Ambs and I played Baldurs Gate Dark Alliance when I was way too young to understand everything, and later decided to write (completely unrelated) fic on Quizzazz/Quotev when I was also way too young. Now I’m an adult who finally has free time after several years of being a full time college student with a full time job and, well, apparently I've always been the same bitch!

I write strictly for fun — it’s not my job. My day job is so fucking important but also stressful so a girl needs to have hobbies. If this ever stops being fun — I’m gone! ✌🏻 So please be nice, to me and to each other ❤️

my fics

Series — The Stars Aligned

artwork (middle) by @/mekanikerik 🧡

Goodnight, My Love

First person, female Tav (wizard, high elf) x Astarion

Fic that takes place during the game; essentially a character study on how things might look if Tav had an actual backstory and actual feelings. This fic deals with a lot of trauma and does not gloss over Astarion’s feelings about sex after the confession in act 2, so I would read with caution if that’s a hard topic for you but for me as a survivor it’s been very healing to write.

This fic is my first re-entry into writing since college and you can definitely tell I was finding the voice/swing of things in the first bunch of chapters, but I’m quite fond of how it is now and I have a lot more planned for my BloodMoon babes 🤍

Luna lore & character photos can be found under #my ocs: luna

Star-Crossed

A companion piece I wrote for GML that covers several different chapters from Astarion’s POV leading up to the act 2 confession. Both fics include chapter guides on when I would recommend reading this one, but this fic can be read as a stand-alone or doesn’t have to be read at all to understand GML.

Could also start with this fic and then jump straight to the confession chapter if you want to skip my world-building stuff, I won’t judge 😝

Dealbreaker

Third person alternating POV, female Tav (bard, human) x Ascended! Astarion

This fic takes place a few months post-game, after Willow originally broke up with Astarion post-ritual, not wanting to become a vampire spawn. Obviously they reunite, and they both want each other but have to sort out what that means for their own individual goals/desires post-tadpole. Mind the tags on AO3.

Willow lore & character photos can be found under #my ocs: willow

moodboard for the first date chapters | moodboard for the party chapters

One-Shots & Short Stories

Hospitality

Tumblr | AO3

A Gale/Shadowheart smutty short story based off of the two of them going home together after a party in Dealbreaker. Canon to the Dealbreaker series but meant to be a standalone piece.

Shiver

Tumblr | AO3

A Willow(F Tav)/Astarion smutty short story I wrote for Fall in Faerûn that takes place in act 3, pre-Dealbreaker and pre-ascension. Sharing clothes, blood drinking, tent sex ❤️ Canon to the Dealbreaker series but meant to be a standalone piece.

Mi(n)sc

ko-fi

(in case anyone ever wants to support me by buying a coffee but no pressure I just write stuff for fun and love u either way)

twitter is ambs_thebard

I made it just to follow bg3 artists but I kinda don’t use it rn but I maybe will! who knows!

credit for profile icon | credit for banners / dividers I use

[bad-danganronpa-ocs]

I have decided to give you My Ocs for you to look at. (BE HONEST!!!)

KEITH ROGERS.

Full name: Keith Rogers

Gender: Male

Pronouns: He/him

Age: 17

Nationality: American

Sexuality: Pansexual

Ultimate Talent: ULTIMATE SUPPORTER

Personality:

He is a Kind and supportive person who cares for everyone and tries to help out Anyone who needs it, But he isn’t stupid and is pretty smart and can tell when people are trying to manipulate him.

Keith is also pretty distrusting of some Doctors due to his trauma in the past. (But that doesn’t stop him from getting help from others.)

(I hope I wrote it the best I could)

Appearance:

He Looks somewhat like Hajime Hinata but with glasses. (And without the ahoge)

(I know that feels generic and I agree.)

Backstory:

(Note - I hope I wrote this well, This is the first time creating a full backstory written wise due to how many notes I’ve created for him.)

Keith Rogers is born to a normal family around the early 2000s (Probably 2003.)

Keith was a normal kid who wanted to do good things and leave his mark on the world, Even at a early age he was a fan of movies and pop culture and stuff like that and that give him the urge to want to create books that could change the world and change peoples perspectives on it.

But this would be taken away from him due to him being put into a mental hospital that was because of a doctors misdiagnosis and stuff like that.

Keith would be in that Mental hospital and would be put though HELL!!! From Electro shock therapy to untested medication that made Keith sick weeks on end which almost Killed him.

Keith isn’t alone though…as he would make some friends with some of the child Patients who also had there own issues. (I didn’t create characters for them but I would make them in the future cause I’m still improving on my writings.)

Keith would stay in that mental asylum until one faithful Stormy night…

…Keith was in his bed and was trying to sleep though the night and decided to get a glass of water from the Hospitals cafeteria (I haven’t been to one so I don’t know where it would actually be.)

But when he was going back to his room…He saw there was dead bodies everywhere!!! Some were Hanged some were stabbed and some had there wrists Slit and there was alot of blood.

Keith didn’t know what happened…But that image stayed in his mind as he ran back to his room and was going to open the door when he saw one of the older teen patients he knew was holding a knife and was looking crazy…

“The Medication made me do this Keith…It made us go MAD…Your next Keith…Your next…YourNextYourNextYourNextYourNext…”

Keith then freaked out and ran out the window and into the stormy rainy outside…Keith had escape his nightmare…

Keith would then escape and went into hiding for a few years and the police never found him!

(Note - Keith Could have been hallucinating due to the untested medicine and the patient with the knife wasn’t really there! Or the Guy was really there and he Killed some of the patients. What was true though is that the other patients killed themselves probably due to the medication or other reasons.)

(I’m just clarifying some stuff if you need some extra notes.)

 Meanwhile the mental hospital would be shut down and the rest of the living patients would be given real medical help because of the untested medication probably hurt them really bad.

Years later…Keith would be put into the 93rd Killing game created by Team Danganronpa in 2020 and it would change the world forever…

———————————————————————

I hope you enjoyed this weird Oc that I created in the past.

Keith was inspired by Hajimes backstory somewhat but with some changes and stuff like that.

AND YES!!! There will be a Izuru type character as well as a OC but they would be a separate character and they would be the Ultimate Phantom thief.

Once again I do not do reviews anymore. I put this blog down like the hideous small animal it is. But I guess if you want comments I’ll just say that that’s not really how mental hospitals work nowadays, like at all. You’re not allowed to have any sharp objects on hand, and I don’t just mean knives, I mean sharpened pencils, pens, anything with a glass screen that can be broken, etcetera. You also can’t have rope or anything else you could hang yourself with. When I went as a kid they took the drawstring out of my pants, and the beds don’t have sheets on them.

Also in the modern day ECT (electroconvulsive therapy) is still used, but only with informed consent. Basically Keith would’ve had to agree to undergo ECT beforehand. Even still, it’s only really used as a last resort.

A friend of mine actually suffered a lot of medical misdiagnosis as a kid, and they were put on so many different medications that it actually gave them brain damage, so ECT doesn’t necessarily need to be part of the backstory at all. Of course if you’re really going for the more horror movie-esque Victorian sanatorium type of mental ward, I’d just make the doctors more sinister than the patients. Sufferers of mental illness are more likely to be victims of murder than to murder others.

Basically you have a decent start and just need to rework the hospital backstory to be more believable and less accidentally demonizing the mentally ill.

Maybe I should just make this a writing help blog.

-Mod Soda

[kinetic-elaboration]

April 11: Time Loop Notes (Bellarke)

Today, some more notes from the Time Loop fic. I don't know if these are interesting to anybody but I like having them in the record so to speak. This set is about the Bellamy and Clarke back story and, I cannot stress this enough, includes major major spoilers. Like literally it gives away the whole game. So like maybe don't read if you think you might read the fic but haven't.

9/24/23: I’m still working on this fic ugh and I’m about to start my second Bellamy scene, the one where he and Clarke dump all their long-hinted exposition while also being full of sexual tension etc. Which, when I put it that way, is a little daunting. So I just want to be certain I know everything that goes in there and that I am certain on the backstory. I think I am, but let’s make sure.

So, very generally, they grew up together, she’s his little sister’s best friend. When he’s 17 and she’s 15, they kill his stepfather (with O) and miraculously get away with it because I said so. The next year, they start sleeping together. After high school, there’s a little muddiness in the timeline: he’s working hard to get O into college, and Clarke is also preparing for college. I imagine they separate for a time in here but not completely. They’re still entangled and if they’re entangled, they’re probably still romantically or sexually linked in some way. Maybe not exclusively but they are always drawn to each other. And of course, the Halloween tradition is absolutely unbroken.

…I’m trying to do the Bellarke timeline without totally breaking down the last 20 years because I’m afraid if I do that I’ll see stuff that’s impossibly tightly packed together lol. Although I could always fix that by turning Clarke’s ‘twenty’ to ‘twenty-five’ or something like that. Let’s say it’s been 23 Halloweens, plus 5, that’s 28, plus another 2, that’s 30, and this is the next year, so Clarke, Octavia, Jasper, and Monty are 31 and Bellamy is 33. Let’s say Octavia published her first book at 23, which is also around the time she met Raven. That means she’s been getting increasingly famous for 8 years and that seems pretty reasonable to me. Probably the least realistic thing is Bellamy somehow starting college late and still getting a PhD but it’s not impossible; it’s fine.

Clarke got a 4 year degree and then tried med school but dropped out, which fits pretty well with her giving that up around the time O got published and started to gain in fame. I want it to be implied that she takes care of her own. Bellamy can afford grad school. Jasper and Monty get the nice drugs. Raven gets the expensive cars. Whatever. Do any of them work? I neither know nor care. I actually do think Clarke probably does but she doesn’t work for money because Octavia has her covered. This is perhaps some of the tension.

The status quo situation, then, at some point as Octavia gets famous is that Clarke is working some job or whatever but she’s still reliant on Octavia for money. She was the most ambitious of the three of them growing up (because she came from a comparatively stable home, which, if I can get a line in about that, would be good) but she didn’t really come to anything, in a way. She isn’t rich and she isn’t famous and she isn’t doing anything lofty like being a cardiac surgeon or whatever. I mean, her life is perfectly fine but the discrepancies between what she planned and what she is and what O planned and what O is could be a source of tension, at least in Octavia’s mind.

Bellamy and Clarke never truly split but certainly by the time they’re 23/25, they’re back together and official. Clarke has known from the beginning about the ghostwriting arrangement. At first, she gives no objections, in part because it seems like a smart little scheme. Maybe she’s quit or is about to quit med school, she’s struggling, and she feels desperate. She also thinks, or tells herself she thinks, that it’s temporary. Like, maybe Octavia wrote the first draft of her first book and then Bellamy ‘polished’ it and then basically re-wrote it, and from there they just transitioned to him writing the whole thing. But it was easy to lie at first that it wouldn’t always be like this.

Years pass, and Clarke becomes more bitter about it. She wants Bellamy to get the credit he deserves. And she gets very wary when the Blakes plan to put out a book that is more ‘personal.’ It’s supposed to make Octavia even more famous, it was on the advice of her publisher and everything, and Clarke knows it will: she’ll be a celebrity in and of herself, relatable and real, it will be the perfect springboard to TV. But it’s also dangerous. Don’t invite people into a past we don’t want them to know. And she hates, too, that it will give Octavia the spotlight when she’s only doing half the work—one might even argue less than half, if one were in love with Bellamy and a little tired of O’s big head.

So, she’s tired of the arrogance, she’s tired of feeling reliant on O, of actually being reliant on her, she’s a little jealous that she’s not the leader of the group, she’s upset with her own life, she’s defensive of Bellamy, she doesn’t like the threat of exposure of their past crimes, she doesn’t think they should be greedy in their scheme, she thinks Bellamy should strike out and be a famous writer on his own merits (which he doesn’t want to do because, he says, someone might compare the styles and realize he is also “Octavia Blake, author”)—all of this is happening at once, all of this is in the stew.

AND Bellamy and Clarke are engaged. I don’t really know what else to say about that, but it is true. The relationship is serious. They are mad in love. Then the fight happens. It’s mostly a case of simmering tensions overflowing, and it happens in the summer a little over two years previous to the story. I don’t know what specifically catalyzes it. I think it’s one of those ‘this could happen at any time but it happens to happen now’ type of arguments. I’m using the L.A. house a lot but also mentioned the French one. So, they’re there—Clarke, Bellamy, and Octavia, and hmm, let’s say Lincoln for funsies—maybe doing some wedding planning or something, just chilling. Then the conversation turns, and Clarke goes off, and Octavia gets mad and when the dust all settles, Bellamy sides with O.

Thinking of it this way, it’s pretty clear why this was such a brutal turning point for Bellarke in particular. How could he side with her, right? Like, most of the fic has talked about the O and Clarke break but there have been hints that Bell and Clarke was even worse and, like, of course it was! They were engaged! They’d known each other forever and they’d chosen to be together. From his POV, nothing trumps his relationship with his sister, but from Clarke’s? You’d pick that toxic unsavable wretch over me? It puts a new spin on Bell finally yelling at her at the séance—why he did it, what it means for him to do it, and how it might read to Clarke. Maybe Clarke might even think that there’s hope for them, even though that wasn’t part of her original plan.

So, they break off the engagement, she gives back the ring, and Clarke totally leaves the group. Octavia doesn’t forgive and forget and the Bellarke fight was pretty brutal and no one else is going to side with Clarke over the Blakes—they’re all closer to O, anyway.

Clarke goes wild for a little bit, just real gutter stuff, maybe loses her head a little, and then when she pulls herself out, maybe the next spring, she really does try to find herself through spiritual retreats and meditation and yoga. She doesn’t love it but it helps a bit. She learns the stuff she uses for her ‘hippie disguise’ in the story (which I’m still not so keen on, as far as how I did it, but, that’s okay, I tried) but she doesn’t really lean into it or make it real personality. She does go to an art retreat, maybe that summer, a little more than a year before the fic, and she meets up with Lincoln there and they REALLY hit it off.  Maybe they’re even lovers, lol, because that would be fun. He keeps her up to date on everything happening with Octavia (and Bellamy) and when the news of the new book, the Octavia-penned confession, comes up, both Lincoln and Clarke agree it’s a bad idea. So they hatch this plan to stop it, to stop her, at Halloween.

Okay, does that all make sense? Yeah, sure. Now I just need to go back up to my scene summary and decide how much of that to put in and how.