#I saw this while taking screencaps and was like

[starberry-cupcake]

Welcome back!! I hope you're doing well and, if not, I hope my silly ramblings can make your day somewhat better, like the wildcats used to say: we're all in this together ♥

previously, in harrowcita del 9:

this happened

for those of you recently tuning in, this is the tag of all the ramblings

also, I'm officially in the sixth house now, palmolive can't stop me

CHAPTER 46

we're back inside the emperor's bolthole, which is infested

this is what happens when you have a lyctor orgy without the proper protection

gideon is doing her very best to fight the infestation of herald bees swarming and attacking her

she's in harrow's feeble small kitten baby body, so she's dying a lot

I'm gonna try to represent this visually

gideon keeps apologizing to harrow for getting her bits chewed off and her insides pouring out

and puts emphasis on things she wants harrow to remember

"I saw it eat your thumb—these details are important, so keep up with me—and your thumb was back in the next half minute"

"Child, that bee smashed you"

"I touched your intestines, which is usually what, fourth date"

me:

so, gideon takes off harrow's excess bones, which are no use to her, and goes further into the emperor's infested bolthole, where she finds mercygirl

mercygirl thinks gideon is harrow at first and, turns out, she was the one who stabbed her

these lyctors istg

can't trust any of them

mercygirl thinks harrow should be grateful that she stabbed her

and she was aware that harrow had "stuffed the soul of the cavalier in the back of her brain"

NOW WE'RE GONNA GET INTO SOME TERRITORY THAT MAKES ME GO ABSOLUTELY BERSERK, SO BEAR WITH ME

I NEED TO GET MY NOTES BACK FROM MY PREVIOUS RECAPS FOR THIS

she asks what happened with gideon's eyes and, as we have seen in the previous gideon-centric chapter, gideon's eyes are in harrow's face atm, if memory serves

"You're not her—she isn't driving you—but you have her eyes. Why? When they showed me your corpse I didn't think to check the eyes"

"I thought I knew what you were, though I didn't want to believe it..."

now listen, we're starting to tie some loose ends and some of those loose ends are linked very closely to my previous theories

I have been considering the Commander Wake is Gideon's Mom and Has a Personal Connection To Gideon The First and Is The One Connected With The Harrow Notes In Canaan AU for a while now

I need to link the specific recaps where I said this because I need to be transparent about where my brain was at

Evidence A, Evidence B, Evidence C, Evidence D

there's probably more but those are pretty clear

I swear to god if I was right about this I'm gonna screencap my own recap and put it here when the time comes

I've been marinating this one for months

I actually forgot how much of that I had written down in the recaps until I re-read them

mercygirl says that she thought the commander was a bad girl workaholic who put business before family, that she made her "the dolls" and she must have "played silly buggers with the emission" and that "gideon was on her tail"

"And then Gideon ruined everything. Then the commander ruined everything. Then you ruined everything. This could have been over eighteen years ago"

apparently gideon the first was "obsessed" with the commander, which accounts for some of the notes harrow read

I'LL GET BACK TO THAT WHEN WE GET TO THE SLEEPER, MY THEORIES CONTINUE

mercygirl starts calling gideon all sorts of names, including mutant, and keeps being bothered about her eyes

"Lipochrome. Recessive. You are the evidence. He lied to us...and you are all the proof I needed" "Cytherea would have known as soon as she looked at you"

is gideon the first gideon's dad??????? I mean, I always though he might have Something with the mom but my money was on gideon being made through science rather than Traditional Means

I mean, having lyctor genes in some way would account for gideon being a demigod, something I said with those words when I was reading gideon

also, remember when not!dulcinea told gideon she was prettier than the other gideon?? because I've never forgotten

mercygirl confirms that gideon the first was sent to kill gideon's mom

who, according to mercygirl, would have hated to be called a mom

mamá luchona intensifies

all of which aligns with my theory very nicely so far

she calls gideon more names, including "abomination, you heresy, you failed ambition nineteen years too late"

gideon reacts not wanting mercygirl to touch her instinctively

man, my theories are RIGHT THERE to be fully connected I'm BITING THE DESK

but there's no time for any more talk because mercygirl is trying to kill gideon in harrow's body

but she is stopped

she is shot

by not!dulcinea

but I don't think this is not!dulcinea, I previously mentioned her maybe being used by someone, not sure if it's possession or being used or what's going on but I don't think this is her

I thought about gideon the first being the one to do it but if he wanted harrow dead, I'm not sure he'd save gideon now

not!dulcinea says "with a tone that wasn't" hers: "goodbye"

gideon ends the chapter with "what the fuck is going on?"

CHAPTER 47

we're back at canaan au and it's time to perform an exorcism

harrow has a new note

I've been connecting those notes to gideon's mom possibly commander wake (as linked above)

the latest note continues to add to my theory

"end of the line. falling. oxygen can't last the distance and won't redirect power from the payload. instead I will make you watch every moment as I get the last privilege you cannot enjoy you bygone son of a bitch. I hope you're both as sorry as I am."

I still think this is gideon's mom because that's how she died, I mean, she got to the ninth in a suit without air and gideon still had some, allegedly

I've been thinking that one of the two people involved in the situationship triangle described in the notes was gideon the first, and that maybe the other was dr reverend emperor john

he's the most likely to be a bygone son of a bitch, so maybe I'm right

so, if harrow connects the notes with the spirit that's haunting her

and I'm connecting them to gideon's mom....

what if it's her that's haunting harrow?????

I mean, Waker

I NEED TO STOP GETTING INTO THEORY TANGENTS

anyway, all of the ghoulie ghostie friends are getting together for a sleepover exorcism

I didn't use this when I should have, back when the different aus were going by, but here it is

real!dulcinea says "Pal always said I'd be the death of him. And I was..."

he died being a weenie but he's not all the way dead, so it's fine

harrow questions why everyone wants to help her but everyone's totally fine with all this, for different reasons

real!dulcinea is "horny for revenge" (that's a tshirt for the seventh girlies right there)

protozoa is there because duty is his full personality

abby is really grateful to be asked to help (she also really likes tombs, very lara croft of her)

magnus loves his wife

ortus wants a redemption arc and now has a polycule

martita is behaving better than judith

abby asks harrow if there's anything she can remember from the slasher waker sleeper to try to pinpoint who tf it is

there's a suit, blood, a gun and gideon's sword, which is the only thing harrowcita recognizes and doesn't know where it comes from

my money is on gideon's mom, commander wake, probably also the woman in the shuttle poster that harrow saw but didn't recognize back when she met camilla

I'M PUTTING MORE CHIPS IN MY BETS EVEN IF I GET NO MORE INFO RN

harrow is very interested in how abby and magnus make it work as a married couple who are also a necro and a cav

I wonder why she's so interested

anyway, everything goes to shit on the exorcism

like, it goes really, really badly

group project off the rails bad

I mean, they didn't even have blood

apparently the spirit is also tethered to an object out there (the sword??????? possibly?????)

and she (she's a SHE) is pretty much invincible and shooting everyone and performing parkour while she's at it

harrow says camilla would be impressed, which is the highest praise

the sleeper waker slasher potentially gideon's mom (but not sure because it hasn't been confirmed yet) calls harrow by her name, but in a way that sounds like she's never said it before

she says it like a curse, which maybe means she knows, to some degree, how harrow was made????

she's basically doing whatever she wants over here, shooting ghosts, punching ghosts, throwing them around, regenerating, not bleeding, pulling guns out of thin air

I mean, ok, we got it, calm down lady

where was this energy when it was time to kill the emperor

she says there's "no magic" there and that "she's been doing this for years"

she wants harrow, so she can kill her and use her body to "finish it"

WHICH MAYBE MEANS KILLING THE EMPEROR???

OH MAN I DO WANT THAT TO HAPPEN

BUT NOT AT THE COST OF HARROW

also, mrs potentially gideon's mom, even if harrow dies, there's also gideon in the body right now so, it's a bit crowded atm

maybe find another way to kill the emperor

use not!dulcinea instead, if you can get the current tenant to leave

the chapter ends with: "ortus cleared his throat"

MAN, I HOPE HE DROPS SOME POETRY LINES, WE SURELY NEED THAT

and that's it for today!!!!!things are certainly heating up in the emperor's bolthole!!!! see you soon for the next installment, fingers crossed for my theories!!!

[twistedappletree]

him legs too short for the gotdang ground

[charcubed]

I saw Challengers earlier today and I decided to start a running doc of some of my feral thoughts in an effort to not forget what's currently marinating in my brain after my first watch

I want this movie to get a long theatrical release/run because it deserves it, but that's unfortunate because I also NEED to have it accessible to me in my home ASAP so I can pull on all its threads and take screencaps. Alas.

EXTENSIVE SPOILERS BELOW

might add to this later as I remember things, idk

-The parallel of Art spitting his gum in Tashi’s hand and in Patrick’s hand… My jaw dropped soooo early on. Anyway they obviously both act as Art’s “coach” at different times in his life in different ways. (The jerking off teaching?? Scream???) Art craves their guidance and approval as a form of love (which is also directly responsible for his confidence issues) and initially likes to follow their leads in every situation

-The parallel of Tashi making out with both Art and Patrick up against cars… delicious

-Patrick’s car is his “bed” and it’s where he and Tashi fuck. Nice

-Wait now I’m sad because… lowkey Patrick is homeless because Art and Tashi are his home…………….

-The storm = Patrick and Tashi having sex = the reason why Art’s half of the giant poster/ad on the side of the building falls down so only Tashi’s side is left up. Iconic, loooove a good visual metaphor, especially shown nonlinearly

-The parallel of the forehead kisses??? Art and Patrick on the court at the start when they won the doubles, and Art and Tashi in the sad almost-sex scene towards the end??? I will throw up

-Disclaimer and reminder I’ve only seen this movie once and might reform any of these thoughts later BUT…

One of Art’s main things is, as he tells Patrick towards the start, not wanting to be “left out.” He loves and he wants both Patrick and Tashi (but he doesn’t fully want to acknowledge the extent of his want for Patrick for years, and that repression is part of his problems…). He gets “lit up” about the thought of them together not because he’s jealous of one of them but because he’s jealous of BOTH of them; he wants to know it all, he wants to be in the room, he wants to be with them both, he despairs at the thought of losing either of them (but, at the start, especially at the thought of losing or being of lesser importance to Patrick. Obviously he’s a fucking idiot as evidenced by how Patrick goes to see him FIRST at Stanford. Ugh). We see all of this at the start when Art wants to know if Tashi and Patrick fucked. We see this in Atlanta when he witnesses Tashi cheating on him with Patrick but doesn’t directly confront either of them about it; he only skates the edge of confronting it with Patrick in the sauna while also lashing out at him. Patrick tells Art at Stanford “it’s nice to see you so lit up about something, even if it’s my girlfriend” during the homoerotic churros scene because Patrick’s clocked all of this about Art, too. He clocks it further in Atlanta when he shows up to Art’s practice with Tashi and his mere presence makes Art hit the ball harder. It obviously all comes full circle; the cocktail of emotions that Patrick and Tashi being together gives Art coalesces again for him on the court in the Challengers match: Tashi’s threatened to leave him if he loses… and she’s maybe got one foot out the door with Patrick of all people, who Art already “lost” in the past as the love he’s been mourning for 13 years. But what’s important is that THIS time, unlike Atlanta, Art learns about Tashi cheating on him with Patrick not by accident but rather because Patrick actually tells him. Patrick understands the significance of how this will get Art lit up again and make him play the way he needs to for all of their sakes, and it’s fucked up, but… what this means is Patrick doesn’t leave Art out. He TELLS Art – and he tells him in a way only they understand while they’re on the court together again. Of course Art goes through several stages of emotions in response to that fucked up information… but ultimately that moment of honesty and realization between the boys is what Art needed and puts where all 3 of them stand into sharp relief, shedding a light on who they’ve all always been and what their individual needs are.

Art’s always wanted to play tennis, but that desire is framed around his relationships. Tennis is only something he truly enjoys or that fully makes him happy when he’s experiencing it through his connections to other people: he wants to impress, earn the approval of, or celebrate with those he loves who are watching (like his grandmother or Tashi) – which is partially why he wants Tashi to be his coach in the first place. And of course, tennis all began as something Art found joy in because he was always doing it with Patrick. It’s clear Patrick feels the same. At the start, neither of them cared much about winning for the sake of winning unless it was doubles because they competed as a team and that was “really fun” for them. With the singles competition, they kind of cared less about the wins at the start; Art assumed Patrick would win and didn’t care back then, and then Patrick was willing to let Art win so he could impress his family, and they were both fine with all of those sentiments. Tennis was first and foremost something they did with and for each other. As Patrick later tells Art in the sauna, “I miss playing with you” – and, of course, at that point he’s definitely not only talking about tennis. But in that final match, after so many years, Patrick and Art finally understand each other completely again. It’s like they’re in love (because they are and always have been), they go somewhere really beautiful together… etc. They finally reconnect on the court and feel that thrill as they become synchronized again, which is what tennis was always about for them.

And Tashi, who’s irrevocably connected to them both and whose primary love is and always has been the sport itself, gets what SHE’S always wanted: to “watch some good fucking tennis.” It’s why she pitted the boys against each other vying for her number at the start. Though she needs/wants both boys in different ways on an individual level, she doesn’t particularly need or want anyone to ~be in love with her~; she wants the men who are in love with her to entertain her and challenge her and give her a show. So that’s what she tries to accomplish again in the end by telling Art she’d leave him if he lost the Challengers match… but the missing piece in her making that threat – the element that would get Art truly fired up – was that she’d potentially leave Art for Patrick. That final piece of info, when Art finds out about the cheating, is what reconnects them in all of the above ways. Because it’s about all 3 of them and their triangular codependency. They’ve all been broken for 13 years because they all need each other and tennis to be fully functional. Split any of it apart and they just don’t work.

-Literally this is a film where from the moment of the injury they’re all constantly mourning. They all lose their greatest loves that day… Tashi essentially loses tennis, Art loses Patrick, and Patrick loses the two of them. Everything after that is just them being affected by how they’re all mired in various grief and feeling incomplete… until that synchronization at the match when they finally become whole again. Going from that bed scene that was breaking my heart to the final match was HEALING. Things are still fucked up and in progress, but they’re fucked up in a way they all understand, which gives them a path forward. This movie has a fiercely happy ending in that regard… and what I’m saying is that… after the match, once they communicate further, and much later down the line… Art and Patrick should go back to playing doubles and Tashi should coach them as as doubles team. God they’d eventually all be so happy I wanna CRY just thinking about them doing that. It would take them awhile to get there — because yeah, Tashi is living vicariously through Art’s career as an individual player and maybe if Art retired she’d then want to live through PATRICK’S career for awhile — but I think if they worked out their relationship then their tennis could come to reflect the needs of that relationship too, and doubles can still be “good fucking tennis” in its own satisfying right, y’know? I think they could get there and it would be a beautiful collective restart.

-I gotta say, I can't imagine Tashi pregnant. Wild to me. Sorry to their daughter. Oooo also... I think Patrick would be great with kids... when he gets to meet Lily and become "Uncle Patrick" they're gonna hit it off so fast. Help me

-*holds up Tashi watching them kiss after she orchestrated it* *holds up the Challengers match* It’s the same picture. Except the kisses were kisses whereas the match was actual sex. The moaning and grunting… I’m insane. Also Tashi’s “COME ON!!!!” is arguably the sole orgasm/climax we witness in the whole movie perhaps? Though you could argue the hug is too. In this essay I will, etc.

-Art begging for Tashi’s love/validation saying “Tell me it doesn’t matter if I win tomorrow” vs Art telling Patrick in the sauna “this is a game about winning the points that matter” / Patrick saying “I don’t matter?” AAAA oh my fucking Goddddddd I’m gonna die

-Thank you Luca Guadignino for your dedication to having Art and Patrick hold phallic drinks and food in each others’ presence. Specific shout out to Patrick at the beach party holding the beer bottle on his crotch

-Patrick = comfortable with who he is and secure in his bisexuality; honest and open Art = repressing his queerness and his overall desires Tashi = hiding who she is aka her dissatisfactions with life and the lengths she’ll go to because tennis is her true greatest love and always has been

COMPRESS, REPRESS... REPRESS, COMPRESS... AND THEN JUST SURRENDER, ONE TWO THREEEEE

-I need to rewatch to catch the dialogue because it was difficult for me to hear it over the music, but I think in the 3am Atlanta scene Tashi tells Patrick that Art’s grandmother had a stroke. IF that’s what she said (and if there’s no reason to believe it’s a lie Art told; like I said, I need to rewatch)… my immediate impression was that it’s a nod to Patrick being the voice of accuracy and prediction in this movie. Towards the beginning he tells Art (jokingly) that he hopes Art’s grandmother dies of a stroke, and that’s seemingly what literally comes to pass. He repeatedly clocks both Tashi and Art’s behaviors, describing them brashly to their faces (and to us as the audience), and he was right about his predictions. He’s the one who’s not repressed or unaware of who he is out of the 3 of them: when Tashi first asks if there’s something between him and Art, he looks away because he knows the answer is yes; he’s openly bi on dating apps; he tells Tashi he won’t be her lapdog unlike Art which we see later ends up becoming literal; he clocks how Tashi is hiding some of her true motivations when she seeks him out in the storm; and even from afar he predicts Art’s mindset about wanting to retire. For the most part, what Patrick does / says either seems to be or becomes truth. Hmmm, wait, as I’m typing this… something to look out for: the “I TOLD YA” shirt. Working theory: Tashi briefly wears it, she’s the voice of accuracy; then it blatantly switches over to Patrick and he wears it throughout the film and [waves to all of the above]

-Head in my hands thinking of how the word “love” is used in these tennis matches. Also something I need to make detailed note of when I rewatch

-Patrick grabbing Art’s thigh when they first watched Tashi play… oh my GOD

-Patrick pulling Art’s stool close and Art just smoothly sitting on it with no reaction… the way they kept looking at each others' lips... oh my G O D

-I just remembered Tashi referred to the boys being known as as “fire and ice.” What the fuck even.

-Tashi going to Patrick asking him to lose the match for Art… she’s literally like, "do this because I love tennis and if I lose Art then I lose the way I live tennis through him. Do this because if he loses this match he'll lose himself." And she's really like, "Do this because I know you’re in love with both of us." And Patrick is like, "A) fuck you because you know I’ll say yes precisely because I'm in love with both of you so how dare you ask this of me, and B) you’re kidding yourself if you think you don’t miss the challenge I give YOU simply by being myself because I don’t take your shit." Something something they're peers, you know

-Tbh for 13 years when Patrick gets his rare opportunities he’s @ both Art and Tashi like “you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid.” And the thing is that he’s RIGHT. He’s right! Art in particular doesn't want to admit it because he's trying to convince himself he outgrew being bisexual / outgrew Patrick but it's obviously bullshit

-Realizing some of the sounds in the soundtrack intentionally emulate the sounds of tennis balls and rackets???? MADNESS

[sinful-mind-joyful-thoughts]

𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞𝟑𝟔𝟎 | 2

part 1 - Tinder

screencaps and gifs: Pinterest

Pairing: dark!Joel Miller x Fem!reader

Warnings/tags: MDNI 18+, DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, NON CON, DUB CON, Drinking, food, flirting, DRUGGING, KIDNAPPING, talks of true crime, Degradation, Praise, Humiliation, fear, panic, anxiety, spiting, oral M, cum play, Blowjob, throat fucking, threats, Physical Violence, Bondage (rope), THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONTENT YOU CONSUME

Summary: A Tinder date goes very, very wrong, but you always consider yourself prepared for such situations. or so you think

WC: 2.8K

For notifications follow - @sinful-mind-joyful-fics

A/n: I tried to step out of my comfort zone a little with this. It's based on a post I saw while doom-scrolling on this app from @blondwhowrites. She had this amazing post about wanting to see more readers who fight and don't stop. They don't lose hope, they go into survival mode, and I just hope I do this idea somewhat justice. AND IT GETS JUICY in this part....

The pounding in your head was relentless, each beat echoing like a drum inside your skull. As your vision slowly cleared, the dim light seared your eyes, intensifying the headache. You lay on a small, dirty mattress, the only things in sight were two small windows letting in weak slivers of daylight, a door, and a set of stairs leading down. You were still in your dress and heels from the night before, the fabric now wrinkled and uncomfortable against your skin.

Panic surged through you, your mind racing. You forced yourself to breathe, reminding yourself that you knew how to handle this. Jess had your location; if you were missing for more than a day, she would report it.

“Stay calm,” you whispered to yourself, your voice trembling. 

You took a deep breath, focusing on the small details around you. The room was sparse, but there had to be something you could use. You scanned the area methodically, trying to ignore the fear clawing at your throat.

Your phone. You needed your phone. You patted your dress, but there were no pockets. Joel must have taken it. You closed your eyes, fighting the wave of despair. Jess had your location. She’d check Life360 and see something was wrong.

“Think,” you told yourself, trying to stay rational. Joel had been careful, but he must have made a mistake. You just had to find it.

You stood up slowly, your head spinning slightly as you did. The tightness of your dress and the ache in your feet from the heels added to your discomfort. You staggered to the door, pressing your ear against the wood. Silence. You tried the handle, but it was locked.

The stairs then. You moved cautiously, your heels making faint clicking sounds on the cold floor. You reached the top of the stairs, glancing down. The faint light from below suggested another room, but you had no idea what awaited you.

Taking another deep breath, you started to descend. Each step felt like an eternity, the fear of making noise almost paralyzing you. When you reached the bottom, you paused, listening. Nothing. You tried the handle, but it was locked. Frustration bubbled up, but you pushed it down. You couldn’t afford to lose control.

Returning to the main room, you approached the other door. You turned the handle cautiously and pushed it open, revealing a small bathroom. It was just as dingy as the main room, with cracked tiles and a grimy mirror. There was nothing here that could help you escape.

Desperation creeping in, you began searching the shelves and every nook and cranny. Dusty and neglected, they offered little hope. Finally, on one of the shelves, you found an old can of beans. It wasn’t much, but it was something. You hid it carefully in the folds of the mattress, just in case.

“Okay,” you muttered to yourself, trying to stay calm. “Think. What next?”

Your mind raced as you reviewed everything you knew about the room. The small windows were too high and narrow to climb through. The locked door at the top of the stairs was your best bet, but you needed a way to get through it.

You took another deep breath, forcing yourself to stay calm. Jess had your location. She would check in on you. You had to hold on to that hope.

Footsteps echoed from below, growing louder. Joel was coming. You quickly lay back down on the mattress, feigning unconsciousness, your heart pounding.

The door creaked open, and Joel’s shadow fell over you. You kept your breathing steady, hoping he wouldn’t notice the slight tremor in your hands.

“Just checking on you,” he murmured, his voice soft. “We’ll talk more when you wake up.”

You heard the door close, and his footsteps recede. You opened your eyes, staring up at the ceiling. You had to find a way out. Jess was counting on you. You were counting on you.

“Stay strong,” you whispered to yourself. “Stay smart.”

Hours passed as you combed through every inch of the small room, searching for any flaw, any potential escape route. The old can of beans hidden in the folds of the mattress was your only find. It was growing darker, and your hope felt as dim as the room around you. The sting of despair lingered, but you fought it off, knowing you had to stay strong.

The only light came from the windows, now dark with the encroaching night. You noticed a string hanging from the ceiling, where a light bulb should have been. It dangled uselessly, a stark reminder of your isolation.

The silence was interrupted by the sound of footsteps below. Joel was coming back. You quickly resumed your position on the mattress, trying to appear exhausted and disoriented. The door creaked open, and Joel entered, carrying a tray of food.

“Thought you might be hungry,” he said, setting the tray down on a small table.

You forced a weak smile, sitting up slowly. “Thanks.”

Joel watched you with an unsettling intensity as you picked at the food. You needed to keep him talking, to gather more information. “Joel, why are you doing this?”

He smiled, a chillingly calm expression. “I just want us to get to know each other better. Away from all the distractions.”

“By locking me up?” you challenged, your voice trembling.

“You’ll understand in time,” he said, ignoring your question. “Are you feeling better?”

You nodded, though your mind was racing. “I’m just a bit dizzy still.”

“Good,” he replied, his eyes never leaving yours. “Get some rest. We’ll talk more tomorrow.”

As he turned to leave, you mustered the courage to ask, “What if I need something? There’s no light in here.”

Joel paused, glancing at the dangling string. “I’ll see what I can do about that.”

The door closed behind him, and you were alone again. You waited, listening to his footsteps fade away before you sprang into action. You grabbed the can of beans from its hiding spot and approached the string. It was a flimsy hope, but perhaps it could be used in some way.

The night stretched on, each minute feeling like an hour. But you remained vigilant, your true crime instincts sharpening with every passing moment. You would find a way out. You had to.

Eventually, exhaustion overpowered your fear. Clutching the can of beans tightly, you lay down on the mattress, forcing yourself to rest. Your eyes grew heavy, and despite your best efforts, sleep claimed you.

You awoke to the feeling of hands on your wrists. Panic shot through you as you realized Joel was there, his grip firm and unyielding. You tried to pull away, but your limbs felt sluggish, uncooperative.

"Shh," Joel murmured, his voice unsettlingly calm. "Just a precaution."

You glanced around frantically, your heart racing. Joel was binding your wrists together with a length of rope. The realization hit you like a cold wave: you were trapped, and he was making sure you couldn’t escape.

“What are you doing?” you demanded, your voice shaking.

“Making sure you don’t hurt yourself,” Joel replied, his tone eerily soothing. “You seemed restless in your sleep.”

“I won’t try anything,” you pleaded, struggling against the bonds. “Just let me go.”

Joel’s eyes met yours, and you saw a flicker of something dark in his gaze. “I can’t do that. Not yet.”

You fought harder, but Joel’s grip was strong. He finished tying your wrists and then moved to your ankles, securing them with the same methodical care. Fear bubbled up inside you, threatening to spill over.

“Please, Joel,” you begged, your voice breaking. “You don’t have to do this.”

Joel stepped inside, holding a light bulb in his hand. He dangled it in front of you, a cruel smile playing on his lips. “I brought you something,” he said, his voice dripping with mock kindness. “But you’ll have to earn it.”

You glared at him, your anger simmering beneath the surface. “What do you want from me?”

Joel knelt down beside you, his gaze intense. “I want your cooperation,” he said softly. “You need to show me that I can trust you. That you’re willing to play by my rules.”

“What rules?” you demanded, your voice trembling with a mixture of fear and defiance.

He leaned closer, his face inches from yours. “Simple ones. Behave. Don’t try to escape. And, most importantly, tell me everything I want to know.”

Your heart pounded in your chest as you realized what he was asking. He wanted information—about you, your life, your vulnerabilities. He wanted control.

“Why should I trust you?” you spat, trying to keep your voice steady.

Joel’s smile widened. “Because if you don’t, things will get much worse for you. But if you cooperate, I’ll make sure you’re comfortable. Like giving you this light bulb, for example.”

You swallowed hard, the enormity of your situation crashing down on you. You had to play along, at least for now. You had to buy yourself time.

“Okay,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “What do you want to know?”

“It’s not what I want to know per se, it’s what I want you to do in this moment,” Joel said, his voice chillingly calm.

You stared at him, fear and defiance battling for control. “What do you mean?”

Joel’s smile widened, and he reached out to brush a strand of hair from your face. His touch was gentle, almost tender, but it sent a shiver of revulsion down your spine. “I want you to relax,” he said, his fingers trailing down to play with the ends of your hair. “I want you to be... cooperative.”

You jerked your head away, trying to pull back from his touch. “Get away from me,” you spat, your voice trembling with anger and fear.

Joel’s grip tightened, and he yanked you closer, his eyes darkening. “You don’t have a choice,” he hissed, his voice low and menacing. “It’s this or death. Do you understand?”

Your heart pounded in your chest, terror flooding your veins. You struggled against him, but his strength was overwhelming. “I won’t do anything for you,” you said, your voice barely more than a whisper.

Joel’s expression hardened, and he pushed you back onto the mattress, pinning you down with a frightening ease. “You will,” he said, his face inches from yours. “You will, or I will make your life a living hell. Do you understand me?”

You fought back, trying to twist away from him, but he held you fast. Panic surged through you, and you bit back a scream. “Please, don’t do this,” you pleaded, tears welling in your eyes. “Just let me go.”

Joel’s grip tightened, and he leaned in closer, his breath hot against your face. “You have no idea how much worse things can get,” he whispered, his tone icy. “You will do what I say, or you will suffer.”

Tears streamed down your face as you realized the hopelessness of your situation. You were trapped, and there was no way out. Jess had your location, but would it be enough? Would she find you in time?

Joel released you slightly, still keeping a firm grip on your wrists. “Now,” he said, his voice softer but no less menacing, “are you going to be a good girl and cooperate, or do I need to show you what happens when you disobey?”

You swallowed hard, the weight of his threat crushing your spirit. “Okay,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “I’ll cooperate.”

Joel’s smile returned, and he released your wrists and undid the binding, sitting back on his heels. “Good,” he said, his tone almost cheerful. “That’s a good start. Now, let’s get you a bit more comfortable.”

He stood up and walked to the door, leaving you trembling on the mattress. You watched him, your mind racing with thoughts of escape, but the reality of your situation kept you paralyzed with fear.

Joel returned a moment later, holding the light bulb. He approached the dangling string and screwed the bulb into the socket. The room was suddenly bathed in harsh light, revealing the true extent of its dinginess.

“There,” Joel said, turning to face you. “That’s better, isn’t it?” He walked over to you, his presence looming ominously. “Now say thank you or I’ll leave you in the dark with the mice.”

You stayed on the mattress, savoring the small distance between you. “Thank-” Joel cut you off.

“No, no. Thank me properly,” he said, a sick grin spreading across his face. You wanted to smack it off, to fight back, but you knew it would only make things worse. “Crawl to me,” he commanded.

The words made your cheeks flush with humiliation. Your mind raced. If you wanted to escape, you needed to gain his trust. But was his trust worth your dignity? You hesitated, the internal conflict paralyzing you.

Joel's grin faded slightly, his eyes narrowing. “Do it,” he growled, a dangerous edge to his voice. “Or I’ll make sure you regret it.”

You took a deep breath, forcing down the surge of anger and humiliation. “I can’t crawl with my legs bound,” you said, your voice dripping with sarcasm. “Unless you want me to flop around like a fish.”

Joel’s eyes flashed with annoyance, but he knelt down and untied your ankles. “There,” he said, standing back up. “Now, crawl.”

Tears pricked your eyes as you slowly shifted onto your hands and knees. The dirty floor scraped against your skin, and every inch you moved felt like a mile. You could feel Joel’s gaze burning into you, his satisfaction palpable.

You reached him, your head bowed, heart pounding in your chest. “Thank you,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.

Joel chuckled, a dark, humorless sound. “Good girl,” he said, reaching down to stroke your hair. You flinched at his touch, but forced yourself to stay still. “See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

You bit back the bile rising in your throat, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing you break down. “What do you want from me?” you asked, your voice shaking.

Joel moved his hands to his belt, his eyes darkening with sinister intent. "I think you know what I want you and those pretty little lips to do," he whispered, his hand caressing your face. He finished unbuckling his belt, and as his pants fell to the floor with a thud, you flinched involuntarily. "Pull down my boxers," he ordered, taunting you as if you were a child.

You swallowed your pride, your mind racing with strategies to fight back. As you lowered his boxers, he taunted you further, waving his length near your face. Instinctively, you reached out with your hand, but he grabbed your hair roughly, yanking your head back. "I didn’t ask for your hands," he spat, his voice laced with venom. "I asked you to suck my dick."

Before you could react, he spat on you, his warm saliva trickling down your face. You opened your mouth to protest, but he shoved his length into your mouth forcefully, leaving you no time to prepare. The size of him stretched your mouth painfully, making you feel as if you might rip apart.

"This can’t be over soon enough," you thought, struggling against the overwhelming violation. But to your horror, you felt a strange sensation growing between your legs. His cock was hard, the taste of his precum salty on your tongue.

“Look at me,” he demanded. You resisted, focusing instead on his messy brown hair. You felt a wave of disgust at yourself for even noticing such a detail. This wasn’t the man you met on Tinder; this was a psychopath.

He gripped your head with both hands, forcing himself deeper into your throat. "That's it," he groaned, thrusting shallowly. The sound of your gagging and choking filled the room. "I don’t care if you fucking choke to death. Your throat feels like heaven."

As he continued, your mind raced for a plan. You took breaths through your nose, waiting for the perfect moment to make him pay for his actions. Just as you prepared to bite down, he thrust deeply one last time, and you felt a hot, steamy rope of his cum hit the back of your throat, its salty taste overwhelming.

Joel roughly pushed you away, pulling up his pants as you fell back, coughing and choking, your throat raw and dry. He walked over, fixing his belt. “See, it wasn’t that hard now, was it?” he sneered.

Before you could respond, he left the room, the only comfort in the dark basement now the solitary light bulb. You lay there, trembling with rage and humiliation, vowing silently that you would find a way to escape and make him pay for every moment of torment.

[sgiandubh]

She saw, she was first, she scored, homerun

Heh. But Marple only tells you what is convenient for her, right?

This time, I do not have the clip, like she does, simply because as I said, I could not be arsed to watch it. But a trusted friend did, all five hours of it (thank you, dear 😘😘😘😘) and sent me very decent screencaps of S + June Brunette at that tennis event. She sent them a couple of hours ago, while I was busy having a life and lunch, you know (I can prove it anytime, but will always protect my Circle of Trust). Sorry for the delay.

As you know, this blog does not believe that hiding information is the best thing to do. I never did.

Following are the screencaps I have received, in order, and with very precise comments. If anything is wrong, let it be my and her sin. But it is not and you will immediately see why.

Context: S and June Brunette's juiciest appearance in that very exposed spot of the VIP area coincided with Mansour Bahrami's match. S came first, at around 03: 04:49.

Two other people who were seated on those seats before his arrival get up and leave (perhaps prompted? perhaps uninterested in Bahrami? we can only speculate) - all this perhaps about 20 to 30 seconds before S arrives, alone:

He takes a seat and quickly arranges his jacket on his knees, perhaps sends an SMS (I am not Mrs. Graham and, unlike many other people across the street, never pretended to have infrared surveillance material):

Meanwhile, she pops in, at around 03:05:10. Unmistakably Panikian - the yellow outfit was a dead giveaway and he practically pointed when, where and for what to look, in his post: 'and of course, the legend, @mansourbahramiofficial'.

Heh: he was far from surprised and she did not chitchat at all ('is this seat taken?' etc). She just sat down: it was a very natural thing to do:

Then, he takes her in a bear hug. Kinda, sorta. Making sure they are well exposed, unlike you know, that other time:

I am told it was a matter of seconds before he wrapped his arm around her neck. Well, that is the rebuke I have been waiting for about three weeks, right?

At about 04:03:41 and until 04:10:03, she goes out, for some reason (🚹? 💄? 📳? your guess is as good as mine):

My candid question is.. who is Light Green Arrow Woman? This is the first time I see her clearly in those screenshots I (one more time, for the people in the back) have been sent by a trusted friend. Could she be a chaperone of sorts? I am told that on the video edit Marple made a modo suo, she seems to be interacting with Mrs. Panikian, but I would have to see that:

A selfie is taken, to properly document the bullshit (after she helped herself with some more champagne):

Whatever Marple calls 'quite the hug' is a kiss on the cheek, and you can see it quite clearly on her edit, if you really are freaked out by this cheap arrangement:

Prompted by the impromptu (heh) 🔦 + 🍾cocktail, she took it very seriously. A pity she did, without having the slightest idea of the strange place she landed in.

That would be it, to be honest. The pics and stills of these two individuals where he does wear a jacket, that our side published first yesterday are from the first part of the program. I do have a couple of more stills from then, but you have it all on that edit. There is no need to add more pics to it, doesn't bring anything new to the table.

And now, onwards for some more context.

Such as this post on June 13, 2024:

With this very peculiar hidden comment:

From a very peculiar sock account:

Mmmhm. Joined in June 2024, follows nobody and is followed by nobody, and yet felt the need to change the username already once? I mean, what the fuck is this cheap game, right here?

So, for those of you naive (I am elegant) enough to think this Brief Encounter was organic, think twice. Somebody followed whatever the scheming was and that somebody tried to warn the woman. Whether about the Inglorious Pap Walk or about Kissgate (the message was posted around June 15th), is to be debated. But still...

And there is some more, of course : I may not be willing to fuck my (already complicated) eyesight with edits and frames and screenshots, but I am not yet dead and I still have all my brain faculties.

Around the same time Mrs. Panikian began to be followed by S on IG, she also began to be followed by a very decent (give or take a couple of details) physical alternative to My Personal Someone. Who would kill me if he could read this post, btw. That is, if you could kill someone with cold shoulder treatment and an icy gaze (Spanish style all the way):

Quick, let's see what his Personal Life insert tells us:

I mean, D'OH: in case you wondered who the fuck that warning sock account was. NEED I DRAW IT?

Nah, can't be Margot, what were we thinking?

🙄🙄🙄

He followed her not so long ago, but well, he wasn't active since March, LOL:

And look how cute, they are fresh (?) mutuals, as of very recently/now - I might be wrong, but I don't think I am:

Tattoos, fitness venues, filthy porn bots in his 'Tagged' section, rumored to be single since at least last year. Rings a bell? Oh, surely not. Especially when you find out that this guy is also a mildly hot topic on Data Lounge (hope dies last):

Similar profiles (but Eggold is apparently a staunch Catholic - the gay conspirators grin with glee), similar PR problems. Alice to the rescue?

At any rate, she is up for grabs, people: 'looking for a man with a decent sense of humor who doesn't troll women's IG pages' - LOOOOOL. Meet the bloody OL fandom, doll - how's that for trolling? Betcha didn't see what real trolling is, yet.

On a sidenote, in an effort to leave no stones unturned, I have even looked for the edits on her Wikipedia page, until I realized they were unsubstantial and made by a clearly obsessed fan of Miss Universe contests (yeah, such people exist):

Surely enough, that user was blocked for sockpuppetry, which means 'abusing multiple accounts'. But Panikian was not her main obsession and for once, this has nothing to do with the current cheapo story that they try to peddle us. Whoever 'they' are.

That's all for now, ladies. Thanks to all three of you who sent tips and raw info for me to connect. You are wonderful!

It's going to be an interesting summer, for sure.

Ship on, ladies, still the same old, tired, boring BS. But also an interestingly symmetrical rebuke to TS Kissgate - if only...

[raayllum]

Season 6 Trailer Breakdown

You all know what this is, although a quick note that I won't be drawing much from other teasers or clips released / a "this is what probs happens in each episode" amalgamation may come out later depending on motivation. There are some scenes I left out as 1) we know where those clips are from already (like the water funnelling shadowpaw clip) or they seem self explanatory (Karim and Sol Regem's plotline, etc).

Furthermore — there is one specific screencap with something I noticed that I'd argue is the biggest / most plot relevant spoiler in the trailer; I am enclosing it at the end for posterity. If you want to read the rest of the breakdown but want to avoid a potentially big spoiler, please stop reading after *** . I don't want anyone to be more spoiled than they'd like to be. Okay? Okay.

With that out of the way, let's dig in

First up: Kosmo's monologue overlaid with clips of the Starscraper and some kind of wintery storm. Kosmo is the male Skywing / celestial elf with vitiligo on the left in another shot

Kosmo: I see a thousand stars. A thousand eyes. Worlds one and myriad. All of us nothing, and all of us infinite.

This probably relates to his understanding of Star magic and possibly the arcanum itself. The wintery storm may be something from the past or present up here in the Frozen North, a lightning storm that Avizandum or Zubeia created, or it could even be from Callum pulling lightning down they face the large blue dragon we've seen in a few clips now (Luna Tenebris' "unsuitable" heir) and later on in the trailer.

Then we see Rayla, accompanied by Kosmo and Astrid, overseeing the beginning of Callum's trust fall 'trial' for lack of a better term with the blindfold over his eyes. It's clearly extremely cold and he doesn't seem particularly happy, but... willing participant, I suppose?

We're gonna come back to the staffs in a second, just you wait. To start, I want to affirm that there are multiple shots of this same location being unveiled, and make up the bulk of the Callum / Rayla + Starscraper portion of the trailer, such as these:

We see eight staff-holders, though it's not clear if one is missing. This could mean a 'Startouch' elf for each primal source + two others, or something unrelated to magic at all. There was "eight" singled out in the 5x08 poem ("eight in a line") though this is a circle, not a line.

The reason I highlight this is because 1) I've been confident that Viren's staff contained Star magic or extra power of some kind for years now and it seems that the answer is yes and (bonus points) it's not a quasar diamond, which also helps keep another theory of mine going and 2) we saw in the teaser some of the Viren-Kpp'Ar flashback fight scene, and I wouldn't be surprised if they were partially fighting over Viren taking the staff from Kpp'Ar, period.

Moving on, I'm speculating that the growing blast we see may be Aaravos (or another Startouch elf) being cast down to earth and creating the Sea of the Cast Out, given that Ripples describes it as, "The falling star plummeted, down and down and down, until it struck the breathless world below. With its impact came a long and terrible night: The earth bled! The seas churned! The sun and moon hid for weeks behind the sky’s screaming storm!" This may be what we've seen Aaravos weeping over additionally: not his own banishment per se, but the loss of someone else (Leola?).

the next main 'set piece' of the trailer is the big battle scene in the encroaching Sunfire civil war, and while there was speculation previously from a shot of Aanya and her arrow that she'd joined the fray, we now have confirmation. I am intrigued about what has Ezran being on the battlefield on foot without armour, weapons, or his usual dragon cavalry.

You can even see her in the background here on the stones, seemingly firing off her special flashy arrow in order to help Ezran get away from Karim's forces, which may be why he's caught up in the middle of things without a lot of preparation. This might be related to the closeup shot of her from this trailer with her bow and arrow, but given the nature of the arrow, it could easily be the other closeup shot of her with the fancy unfurling flower gemstone arrow we got in the Teaser.

For more individual shots:

Aaravos still has his chest piece in full and it doesn't seem like he's been expelled from the heavens yet. Looking very pointedly at my "his chest piece is out there somewhere and maybe in the cube as a quasar diamond" theory. I could see this being him on trial or something with the other Startouch elves

Then we have Rayla and some form of Runaan. He has red eyes like a corrupted Banther, but the green is completely base. This Runaan also doesn't have his canonically broken horn (just like Rayla's vision of him and her other parents in 5x01) so I'm willing to bet whatever this is is preying on Rayla's memory of Runaan > the actual Moonshadow elf himself. Could be a nightmare, or even some kind of illusion (maybe Luna's heir's moonstone collar has some messed up illusion stuff?). Rayla also seems to be underwater or in some kind of dark place, though the background for Runaan looks more fittingly like the Silvergrove. I certainly would not be opposed to Callum and Rayla having to face their worst nightmares, or something — stuff like that is always interesting angsty and juicy characterization.

Speaking of nightmares, that would also fit with this screencap of Callum. We know from 6x01 details that he has a nightmare regarding Aaravos, and we also know from people at cons that this screencap was not there. Looking at the scene itself, the deep purple lighting highlights that it's not quite 'real', nor is it necessarily possible due to the background being Finnegrin's office on the Sea Legs, where Callum last did dark magic. I could very easily see this being a dream where Callum is having horrifying visions of himself outside his body, and this is one.

I do find it interesting that, rather than black dark magic slug goop like I first thought on his hand, it's actually blood on his hand, and the changes this indicates of Callum's psyche / fears. Normally when Callum breaks things (primal stone, moon opal necklace, the green slug) it's with his other hand, for starters. But more importantly, I think it's interesting that this nightmare isn't about being flat out possessed, but of being more of a dark mage: the eyes, the corruption, the blood, etc. and how that may lead to Aaravos' will being further enforced over him. It speaks to a recognition of his own agency as well as growing fears of being not just controlled, but corrupted along the way.

Claudia on the beach probably after killing Sir Sparklepuff (hence the blood and corruption) having the worst mental breakdown of her life (which is saying something) so far, either upon realizing she's lost her father anyway, Viren being alive but leaving her, etc.

Then we have Callum the infamous Frozen Ship, now burning. Either he was in there with Rayla and escaped first, leading to him sadly thinking she's gone before she manages to get out on her own and they happily embrace... or he was vibing outside without her (by her request no doubt) and shit's hit the fan. I could see him mourning her and her reappearance is when they finally fully reconcile, and I could also see him running back onto a burning ship for her (or trying at least). Y'know, the way you do.

I am famously always here for Rayllum being desperate as fuck about each other's safety, so I know I'm gonna eat that shit up regardless and it will be Delicious.

Onto the less clear parts of the trailer, in some ways:

We have what seems to be Terry and Claudia presumably at the same place, the Valley of the Graves, back in Katolis, although for what reason is unknown. I could see them maybe coming back to Katolis to the Orphan Queen's grave, for some reason. I could also see the spell Claudia doing (hence the light hair and yellow on the chest) being a release spell for Aaravos — which asks when and how does she get the prison from Callum and co. — or some 'opening up the heavens' spell that'll come close to killing her; it could be something else entirely. It has to be something where Terry seems reluctant to let her go through with it and has probably tried to stop her (yes internal Terry turmoil!! Come back to me) and failed. I've kept meaning to make a post about it, but I could see Claudia post-6x01 come crawling back to Terry at Aaravos' beckoning ("He'll be a useful ally") and Terry realizing Claudia didn't come back to him out of love like he thought, but partially to use him because she's too far gone right now to see it and trying to keep her distance emotionally.

Which asks the question: we all thought this was maybe from the beginning of the season, with Viren or Claudia or something trying to get into Katolis. But what if it's closer to the end?

I posit this order of things for two reasons. The first is that we know in 6x01 Soren leaves to go look for Zubeia with Zym, reunites with Corvus at the Sunfire elves (6x02-ish?), Corvus and Ezran see Karim's forces at one point (the Teaser) with Zym helping Ez escape. We even have a shot of Soren leaving Katolis with Zym in the trailer.

The shot of Soren being bloody is clearly at Katolis on the battlements, so it seems that it has to be after the Sunfire battle has happened, and I doubt Janai and Amaya can win considering Sol Regem having his wings healed by the Sun seed, and it's S6 "everything goes wrong" time.

It could be that the Sunfire battle didn't end well (Karim as king or forces corrupted by Pharos-sleeper agent? Kim'Dael is free?) even with Aanya's help, and people have retreated to regroup in the stronghold that is Katolis... A stronghold that Claudia wants or needs to get to, for whatever reason. Soren would have good reason to look pissed. Maybe the big explosion from earlier on in the trailer is even just Claudia, making her presence known on her way into Katolis for some kind of scare-factor.

And, of course, Claudia could go to Katolis in the first half of the season (6x02—6x05) when bloodied and bruised Soren isn't there, and just Ezran in the rain. There could be some magical power-up, and then Ez has to flee and go to the Sunfire elves, the situation not much better. But this doesn't explain why we see Soren presumably at Katolis and looking as beat up as he does unless it's a shot from very near the end of the season.

And here's where we get to the Big Spoiler, imo, so please click away now if you don't want to see it!

Furthermore... we Know the Sunfire battle is happening near the End of the season (sometime 6x07 onwards) because there's no way Rayllum is leaving the Starscraper any earlier than the end of 6x06... and they're there, along with Astrid, at said battle.

Y'know this big shot of the Sunfire battle? Well, the trio is there in the upper red corner, when you zoom in.

There's Astrid (blue and white), Callum in between flapping his wings, and presumably Rayla with her borrowed wing bracelets from Kosmo (though I suppose it could just be Kosmo himself, but I doubt it). Why they're coming to the battle, I don't know — if Aaravos is out by this point, they might have bigger problems that they need to collect Ezran and co. for, and didn't realize the level of conflict had escalated — or somehow, we get through the Starscraper portion of the story without the prison breaking, though Callum is still presumably possessed (?) — and it is Claudia who releases Aaravos near the end of S6.

That could be possible, especially if Claudia, whose S6 plotline is a total mystery, comes sniffing around the Sunfire side of things and can steal the prison here and... take it back to Katolis because it needs to be? Orphan Queen had Aaravos' chest piece? Idk. But yeah, this is where things get kind of tricky, and if we did go this route I'd wonder why not let Claudia steal the pearl in 5x09 at all, but we'll have to see. It could work! My money is still on Callum possessed or otherwise having a hand in setting Aaravos free, but really anything could happen at this point

Just thirteen days to go!

[rainbowsky]

GQ & ADLAD CPN

@accio-victuuri has a post about some of the CPN from the GQ feature on GG. There are a couple more CPNs that I wanted to talk about because - with the exception of a couple of tidbits - I haven't seen turtles talking about some things that really stood out to me.

Both of the tidbits being discussed by BXG are based on fake rumors from the past.

Godly Back

Turtles feel that the backless jacket might be what was referred to in the recent LRLG rumor (Apparently wangwang senbei can be a homophone sounding like 'godly back').

In this context, "You saw what I wore, can you please choose something normal" becomes hilarious. 😅

If he really was talking about GG's back, well... DD, the rest of the internet agrees with you given the hotsearch that was trending on both the main and entertainment hotsearches. 😅

Xiao Zhan's back ditch is so deep

GGDD and ADLAD

This one I wanted to dig more deeply into because it's connected to a few different CPN from a long time ago, and a lot of turtles might not be aware of all these connections.

In the GQ interview GG mentioned he was really nervous for the first performance of ADLAD.

At the time a LRLG rumor came out with some exchanges between GG and DD in the days leading up to that first show. GG talks about being nervous, DD and his staff video call him to wish him Jiayou, and at one point - presumably the last time they talk before that first show - DD video calls with GG and closes off by giving him a high 5.

The day after the first show, GG posted on Weibo.

At the time there was a lot of speculation about what that second photo was. One of the theories was that GG had screen capped DD's hand high-5-ing his phone. Some fans even tried doing that themselves (screencapping their hands up against their phone cameras to see what would happen) with somewhat similar results - photos that were an ombre of pale pink to red.

Some additional CPN

When I saw GG talking in GQ about the first ADLAD show and how nervous he was and I saw turtles looking back over the LRLG rumors from that time, I decided to look over those rumors myself. I found a couple things there that really hit me in the gut, but which I haven't seen other turtles discussing.

Magician DD

One thing that stood out to me from the ADLAD LRLG rumor was when DD told GG he could do magic, and told his staff that only GG believed him.

Back in 2021 a series of pages called the 300G were released, which claimed to be transcripts of some of the best unseen moments from The Untamed BTS (300GB of BTS footage was reportedly sold to BXG fansites). They were translated by an all-star team of some of the best BXG translators and overall fandom MVP on Twitter back in the day (god I miss those days of Twitter 😢).

Disclaimer: We must remember that these are unconfirmed transcripts. As far as I know, none of the footage that could substantiate these transcripts has ever been released, so it could just be someone's fanfic.

Anyway, my absolute favorite moment in those transcripts was an exchange between GG and DD, when GG had been struggling with nailing a scene. My synopsis from a post I made about GG and DD's personalities a while back:

GG is having a hard time getting a take right for a scene, and the director tells him to take a break. DD scoots over to where GG is resting and holds out his two fists facing downward in front of GG and asks him to pick one for a surprise. GG agonizes a bit over which one to choose, but finally picks a hand. DD gives GG a mysterious smile and asks GG to hold out his hand. GG does, and DD opens his fingers over GG’s palm. There’s nothing there. DD says, “I’ve just given you some luck, so that on your next take, you will succeed.” GG asks what is in the other hand and DD turns it over and opens it and says, “See, there’s nothing there! Zhan-ge is so good, you guessed right on the first try!” GG rolls his eyes at DD and says, “WYB, in your heart, do you think I’m more than 10 years old?” On the next take, GG nails the scene.

So it's just possible that DD and GG have a long history of this type of exchange, of DD giving GG his 'magical' support. GG is just superstitious enough that it might genuinely help him, and anyway, who could fail to be soothed by such sweet magic? 🥹

GG and Sleep

Another thing that stood out to me is when GG talked about being unable to sleep. Honestly this part of the interview really got me because I have always struggled with extreme insomnia and I could totally feel his pain. I've tried so many of the things that he's tried, and have had similarly mixed/poor results.

Anyway, aside from the aromatherapy candle CPN that's been heavily discussed in the fandom, what stood out to me CPN-wise was the fact that LRLG rumors have (I think this has happened at least a few times, but I can't recall specifics), featured moments where it seemed like GG and DD left their phone/video calls active to keep each other company when the other one was sleeping.

In the ADLAD LRLG rumor there's a moment when it seems like GG might be having difficulty sleeping and DD keeps him company.

Find someone who will keep you company over the phone while you try to take a nap. 🥹

Firecrackers

Just another quick thing from that same rumor, DD talks about wanting to set off some firecrackers for GG, which... ugh, so sweet. My god.

His staff encourages him to do it, and he says he will be 'taken away' if he does (maybe get into trouble, likely exaggerated a bit), and his staff says he'll cover for DD.

In Chinese culture (and in fact, in many cultures), firecrackers are considered very lucky because they are believed to drive away evil spirits and bad luck (which is why they're such a feature of Spring Festival celebrations).

GG and DD always look out for each other, and this CPN around ADLAD and around GG's sleep struggles really hit me hard. I love them both so damn much!

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

There are two different versions of ATSV in theatres - and the only difference between them in Hobie Brown.

Okay ya'll I came across something so bizarre.

So I've seen Across the Spiderverse twice now, and my theatre was going to stop showing it this weekened - so I went to see it one more time.

Originally, I had seen version one. I knew there were two out there, but I had only heard of version 2. This time I saw it. And the ALL the differences has to do with Hobie Brown.

My man really hate consistency, I guess.

LOOK: This is the shot of Hobie saying 'I quit' that's most used. - THIS is version one

But when I went this time, this is what I saw:

THIS IS VERSION 2. (omggggggg!!!!)

As you can tell, instead of his normal colors - in this shot Hobie is a violet-pink instead, with a lot more texturing on his model.

And these are common throughout Hobie's screentime!

If you saw the top photo - you saw version one.

If you saw the bottom photo - you saw version two.

Chances are if you watched the movie early in it's release (first week or so), or you watched a fancam you have seen version 1.

I was able to capture most of the changes on camera - and it's kinda jarring to see but omg i find it so interesting!!!

I took photos of all the differences and compare them down below, including an explanation of why this happened.

Please let me know which version you saw, and when you saw the movie! Have you seen both versions? I'm so curious!

For the first half of Hobie's appearance the two version are entirely the same - except for what seems like either a different take or wording of his 'Gwendy, how much have you told him-' line. However, the changes begin at the end of Hobie's scene with Miles.

I spoke here about how in some versions Hobie says 'Don't enlist unless you know what war you're fighting', while others 'Don't enlist unless you know just who you're fighting'.

But the biggest differences are his last scene.

Last week I used THIS screencap that was taken from a Version 1 fancam. In it, Hobie is in full color:

In Version 2, he's pink. Also - it's extremely faint in the photo, but if you look closer you can see there are also red spiderwebs behind the blue ones in Version 2:

You can see his pink color better here:

Later in the scene, Hobie changes colors. In Version 1, he maintains the same normal color scheme for the duration of the scene, however in Version 2 he's changing back and forth - even turning black and white at one point.

Version 1:

Version 2:

And can I just say -

This is to show how Hobie is literally the only one in the room who is 1) Literally and physically 'in Miles' corner, (literally) standing 'in the right' - to the right of Miles,

and 2) the only one being honest to Miles (why he turns black and white, he also turns black and white while talking about Miles' parents.)

As the scene goes on, Hobie stays this color - which leads to one of my favorite differences:

His last shot.

In Version 1 - Hobie is white & black for one shot, as he says 'Here we go'. This is the same.

However - for version one, he returns to his natural color for his final line of the scene - 'Good'. And for Version 2, he turns purple.

So why did this happen?

According to the ATSV there are two (and only two) versions that were released in US theatres. Version 1 was released when Sony shipped early copies to translators so they could translate the script for international viewing. The version sent was about 98% done, and made to give the translators a jumpstart prior to release.

However, that version ended up being released.

Afterwards they swapped it out with the full, correct version - Version 2.

It seems like Hobie wasn't meant to be natural colored for the duration of the Canon-Events scene, and that in the whole film, he was the final thing they were putting touches on.

There are other small changes in version 2 - including when Miguel calls for backup - in Version 1 Lyla points at Miguel, however in Version 2 she takes a selfie with him on a AI cell-phone.

In Version 1 - Miles says 'No, no no!' at Pavitrs chai scolding, and 'Sorry, sorry' in Version 2. There are other small adlibs, and they said they removed Gwen's voicelines when she was searching for Miles and the child in the rubble (?? don't know why).

I also think - and I DON'T KNOW, I haven't checked my recording but I did record it - I THINK the watercoloring in Gwen's scenes have different colors in some shots, or different strokes, but only subtly. It just looked more detailed and vibrant to me, but idk. But the trans colors remain completely untouched in every way.

However, it seems that your best and most obvious way of telling which version you saw is by looking at Hobie's lines and coloring in different scenes.

Mans really hates consistency, damn.

______________________________________________

Outside of some split-second shots and ablids, He's the only things that's largely changed, and when seeing it in the theatre today I was literally shocked as HELL. When he said 'eh, what of it?', I was like 'mfer WHY R U PINK'. I hadn't noticed until right then. But I'm literally over the moon I got to see both, I feel like I found something secret.

Maybe being Hobie obsessed and Neurodivergent pays off.

Oh - and here's two more shots that were also changed that I didn't get footage of. If you have a photo or footage of these shots from Version 2 - PLEASE post or send them to me. Thanks!

Version 1 - 'What of it?' / In Version 2 he is a BRIGHT pink color

Version 1 - Standing behind Miles while talking to Miguel / In Version 2 he is black and white with newspaper around him (also doesnt he look so cute look at that slutty waist ugh)

SO uhhhhh yeah Idk if anyone else finds this interesting but I DO and I enjoyed it so much and I WISH I could get better footage of Version 2.

Had I not watched his scenes everyday for weeks and wrote out a dissertation about every one of his lines I might not have noticed lol

If you're not normal about Hobie Brown and found this interesting like me, thanks! Let me know if you read this far and please tell me what version you saw and when you saw it! Ok thxs again bye :)

[hey-i-am-trying]

hi, tripoier here! Long text incoming alert and a detailed explanation of the situation for qsmpblr (also sorry if I make some typos I'm writing without translator)

Yeah I also saw what happened today with the og admin of Pepito and I have a lot to say about it. First of all I'm not speaking in behalf of the community but I'm my own experience of the situation. I watched the development of Pepito's story since day one and fell in love with that little guy (and his laggy PC). Then second day arrived and I noticed the admin change bc he was less laggy and I've learned enough Portuguese and 07's (Richas admin) mannerisms to recognize when he's playing a character, even Roier noticed but didn't say anything until the screencap incident lol

Few day passed and 07 created such a cute and wholesome personality for Pepito, that contrasted very well with the role that roier was having at the moment— that it's understandable that it may not be too comfortable for some people but for the ones that had been watching Roier's story in the server + his relationship with Bobby, we take it with humor/hope for him to heal slowly after what happened in Purgatory and with Bobby (and believe me, Bobby had a HUGE impact on how Roier behaved with the rest of he eggs after his death)

So during the days 07 played as Pepito all the tripoiers were in this state of hope because we knew how much q!Roier was trying hard to not to get attached to Pepito, he knew the moment something happens to him he was gonna suffer A LOT, and Pepito was this pure, innocent ray of sunshine that it was imposible for us not to love immediately (Roier also did from day one but he loved to play with us + his lore at the moment was being in depression for the lost of his husband and having Richas and Leo in their comatose state). Also, is worth to mention that after he discovered it was 07 the one playing as Pepito he became more playful and started to tease him just to make him go out of role (and succeeded one time). Which is why he used the chancla a lot with him, as a shield for the feelings that were starting to grow on him again.

Then, Otipep happened.

This is the part I'm gonna be more careful to explain bc there is a language barrier that for the people who don't have Spanish as their first language they cannot understand or got confused

When Otipep appeared Roier noticed that it was another admin playing as Pepito because 07 was busy helping with Q's lore, we don't know if he recognized immediately that it was the original one or just a random temporary admin, but he noticed that this Pepito appeared where the fist one disconnected (in the garden outside of his house). Some people noticed that it was the original one and got happy bc it meaned that finally Pepito had his permanently admin back and bc Richas and the others eggs were also back from the coma we could see them both at the same time (roier used to joke about it every time 07 was around)

We also thought that the og admin had been catching up with the role that 07 has built so far with Pepito (which was not, and we would never know if it was either miscommunication between the admins or the og admin just decided to ignore the actual role to keep their 'idea' for the role), so at first we were a little bit shocked when this Pepito started acting so "dry" (idk if this is the correct word) with Roier, bc we had already gotten used to Pepito's tender way of speaking, but we just let that pass for a bit.

But then that "dry" behavior started going to go down a path were even we as an audience started getting uncomfortable, because roier was trying to socialize with the admin but they clearly didn't knew what's has been going on these past days, so Roier take the time to make a summary of the last days with his typical chill humor, and while he was doing that everything reached its final point with the sign "hueles a culo también hijo de puta" = you also smell like ass son of a bitch.

now This. THIS right here is what destroyed everything. Because you would say "oh, it's just Pepito following Roier's game, it's was in a playful way".

No.

It. was. not.

When Roier starts calling someone with some swears or related words is always in a playful way, and there is context and trust behind. When Otipep put that sign Roier was making a summary of the role that 07 has been doing with Pepito, bc he didn't wanted to let them behind, and while doing that he always explain with his usual humor to make it less unconformable for the admin/ entertained for his audience.

So when he placed that sign we all get out of the loop because it came from nowhere, even Roier kept silence of a few second because 1). it sounded rude, that sign was so out of place 2). Roier was explaining the last few days to the admin so he can keep up with the role, he was not "joking" with the admin, or moving on to another topic, he was helping the admin. 3). We, as an audience, felt so shocked because they weren't saying that to Roier in a playful way, they were giving weight to those words. And this is the part that people that do not have Spanish as their first language doesn't understand. They gave weight to the insult. They didn't wrote that as a joke, they directly INSULTED the streamer.

Then roier proceeded to hit him with the chancla bc he wanted to take the control back of the situation in a humorous way, a damage control in other words, because the chat was filling with "??????" And people getting offended and angry (justified, even I felt offended) with the admin, but Roier is not of those type of persons and he always try to make his streams a safe place for his community, so if you ask me he did a really well job handling the situation even tho he felt offended and his audience noticed that for the rest of the stream (hell, even days later)

And if that was not enough, Roier kept trying to save the situation but the admin was not cooperating, with the "no he preguntado"= I've not asked you and other sign that I just don't remember and is not really worth it (and bc Otipep literally left Roier speaking alone with the "I'm going to look for better parents" and went to spawn zone), he just gave up trying and waited for Richas to come back (which was also chocked w the situation)

And this is me speaking from a non-neutral tone, but I think we could've had a Roier being super loving and caring with Pepito if this situation didn't happen in the first place, bc after this I noticed that Roier stopped tried to get close to Pepito, the situation really affected him so whatever role he was building with the character he just simply stopped and changed the dynamic with another one more limited and less parental, but keeping his usual humor bc it was not the fault of the actual admin or 07, it is what it is unfortunately.

That's why I'm so glad that the actual admin and Ricardão did such a good job saving Pepito because the Spanish speaking community was about to drop him, even streamers friends of Roier that are not part of the qsmp acknowledge the behavior of Otipep with Roier (if that doesn't say a lot about how complicated it was on this side of the road)

And even after all these things there was people out there calling the Spanish speaking community as dramatic or harassing Roier when the situation happened (and it seems they still do it :/ ), but most of us kept quiet because we respect Roier and as he says, mejor pasamos de movidas.

and well, this is it, I know I'm missing some points in the story but honestly getting into fights or hate in general is not my thing, I wanted to give some context for the people of Tumblr because I know, at least here people take the time to read and are more chill unlike twt, and I hope I gave some clarification for the rest of the communities that are not native in Spanish, I really really love Pepito and I'm so glad we had 07 and the actual admin there to play this character, I still can't believe that person had the audacity to come out proudly as Pepito's 1st admin when literally no one from the Spanish community considers his 2 appereances as canon after their blunder xd

Thank you for sharing!

I understand that some stuff are hard to translate, thank you for taking the time. I didn't know that your community was being called dramatic because of that! That is dumb as hell and I am sorry it happend in the first place.

Of course we are no in business of spreading hate. I have always tried to see the other side of situations, I think from what I read in the admin's doc they had some kinda of vision for the character, but I guess they didn't realized that well, they were not going to become automaticly friends with Roier and have room to "joke" like that just because they have become an egg admin. Probably my best guest of what it happend.

It is really weird, maybe they were banking on the support that the other admins have gotten? Or they actually never realized how insulting they have come out as.

Well, I don't have much to say, except I am sorry it happend at all with Roier and the hispanic community.

[rudeflower]

JESS ANGST SCHOOL ANGST COMPLEX TRAUMA ANGST

In Keg Max! Principal Merton tells Jess he has missed 31 days of school. Now that makes him a chronic truant for sure, it means he's missed more than 10% of the school year, the standard school year is 180 days. Let's say there's 10 days left in the school year.

That's a LOT of school to miss. Young people improbably here, do not miss that much school

But relative to what we're being told about Jess, it's a weirdly low number? Jess never goes to school!!!! He's working 10000 hours at Walmart instead of going to school no school never heard of him!

That means that Jess attended school 139 days. Most schools I've worked with define that as a certain number of hours attended, more than half the day. So even if he was skipping that's 139 days he went to more than half the day NOT GOOD AT ALL BUT

Even after he was eighteen (early in the school year) he still laced up his boots and showed up somewhere he hated at saw no point in going to WHY!!????

First of all this is actually a ridiculously overcommitted young person let's at least acknowledge that.

He works before school at Luke's, and he works in the evenings too, closing up at 11:30 in one episode. Not just filling coffee mugs anymore. By season 3 he's closing alone, keeping tabs on the delivery schedule and capable of (furiously) running the morning rush alone.

AND he's working 45 hours a week at Walmart doing physical work, AND (poorly) maintaining a romantic relationship, AND reading obsessively, AND YES GOING TO SCHOOL! Jess starts working at Walmart in November (if you treat the air date as the canon date with the show roughly does), combined with Luke's it's probably 60-65 hours a week and still went to school 139 days!

He's making ridiculous choices because he is a tiny little fool but also has a trauma soaked brain

Jess chooses to be maxed out every minute of his life because he cannot tolerate being unoccupied, like a lot of people with complex trauma (and ADHD and Autism and more all of which could apply to Jess but rn I am talking about complex trauma)

When someone is used to chaos in their environment they actually feel less safe when things are quiet and still. It leads to someone who needs to have their RAM at 100% every waking AND sleeping moment

So they work 65+ hours, go to school most days, and they

cannot relax without extreme stimulation AKA needing the music on to sleep

Walk while reading because walking and looking ahead isn't enough is not occupied enough need more occupied

and starts reading the second he's stops talking to someone or using his hands to do something else. Reading as default in any given second.

He reads compulsively, no matter how chaotic the environment.

Reading ALSO isn't enough must be annotating and analyzing too passive reading is NOT ENOUGH

So Jess would rather show up at school for 139 days where other people are moving around, where there are fights to get into and classes to move to and from, even after he's an adult and Luke wouldn't find out that he isn't showing up. He'll show up to a test just to be in the classroom, not to take it.

This is not mentioning what I'm too lazy to screencap, that he's always doing something. that especially when he's talking to Luke Jess is constantly and doing things with his hands constantly.

There's really only one time we see Jess sitting still doing almost nothing

But not really nothing because smoking really is something.

My dude needs to be as occupied as possible from the time he wakes up all the way up to and including when he falls asleep to stay occupied and all that he's got on hand is going to a school that says the pledge of allegiance in six different languages then he will go! It's 100%%% occupation or the horror of possibly relaxing and WHAT WOULD HAPPEN THEN

[mixelation]

do you recommend yugioh? i saw a screencap of the guy who's like "no more white wine spritzers before bed" or something and it kinda made me want to watch the show. but some shows (cough naruto cough) are like. i wouldnt recommend this to anybody even though i liked it. i'd tell them to watch specific episodes or fights but forget the whole show yk

oh boy. would i recommend it........ hmm. definitely i would recommend looking up an episode list/guide and skipping filler if you do decide to watch it. but for the rest.... depends on what you are looking for in a show!!

first, do not let my blog fool you. yugioh is about playing a card game. all conflict is solved with card games. all of it. every once in a while someone throws a punch or they have to escape a burning building, but usually somehow these events will also involve card games. somehow. there is ancient dark magic, but it doesn't come up nearly as much as just playing a card game. there are compelling characters and friendships, but most of their shonen-style friendship bonds are forged through the card game. you need to accept this in order to enjoy the series.

(the first few volumes of the manga use a variety of games and challenges instead of focusing on the main card game. the chapters are mostly episodic with a few longer arcs, and the focus is on yugi's friendships. also the ghost possessing him sets at least two people on fire. if you're dubious of the card game aspect but interested in getting to know the main cast, this might be up your alley.)

for the anime, a lot of the zanier lines you see in screen caps are from the english dub, which has nostalgic "call the rice ball a donut" and "give this character a ridiculous accent for no reason" vibes. sometimes the dub is genuinely funny. sometimes it's annoying. if you want an entertaining and over-the-top old school-ish anime, you might enjoy the dub.

the original Japanese is slightly more serious. for example, in the dub, Yugi does a magical girl transformation every time he uses the puzzle. this doesn't happen in the original. there's fewer bizarre ad-libbed lines (like the wine spritzer joke). in some ways it makes the show less fun? but also some of the zanier situations get a little more fun if, for example, the buzzsaws set to chop off your legs if you lose a card game aren't edited out. it is still VERY firmly a show about playing card games, but it takes itself more seriously.

honestly, if i did a rewatch, i'd probably watch the dub for duelist kingdom (the first arc) for the nostalgia and then switch to the japanese for the rest. my recollection is that post duelist kingdom is when the weird voice acting choices started to get grating, and also bizarre editing choices got worse (like changing buzzsaws to.... glowing disks that send you to the shadow realm. or something)

OR you can try YuGiOh the Abridges series, which is housed entirely on youtube and leans fully into how ridiculous YGO is as a concept. I've only seen a few rando episodes of it, but it's very well-loved. (also a warning that apparently it's very "of its time" so there might be some jokes that.... would not be acceptable in 2024.)

[su-itca-se]

Dear Brother (Oniisama e…) LaserDisc scans and machine translations

These past few years I have fallen in love with the work of director Osamu Dezaki. Alongside Tomorrow’s Joe (Ashita no Joe), I hold Dear Brother in the highest regard.

It was a 1991 anime based on Riyoko Ikeda’s 1974 manga. You should watch the anime. It’s on Tubi for free. But really, just trust me. Buy the Blu-Ray from Discotek.

This anime came and went. There isn’t any merchandise besides some phone cards. Decaying fan sites and discourse is out there, but it’s a bit of a hunt.

Some time ago I saw a fan letter written by Hideaki Anno, apparently from the LaserDisc releases. From what I could tell, the LaserDisc packaging featured a treasure trove of notes from the staff that I just had to read. But I couldn’t find them!

If you’re not aware, LaserDiscs are one step above burnable trash in Japan — often on sale for 200 yen or less in heavy boxes shoved into the corner of second-hand anime stores. So I bought all five volumes of the 1993 Dear Brother LaserDisc release, was thrilled to notice unique letters from staff and industry luminaries in the interiors, and I scanned everything! And machine translated them.

I hope this (long, comprehensive) post brings fans of Dear Brother the same pleasure it brought me to compose it!

Note: I cannot read Japanese. I’ve used Google Lens for OCR, and GPT-4 for translation. My scans are good (and you can get them on Archive.org in high res) but these translations are not archive-quality and should not be depended on without verification. I’ve done my best to make corrections and have attempted to wrangle the correct tone and meaning out of the AI, but they’re essentially just for fun. Corrections of the most egregious stuff would be welcomed, email me: suitcase@soaringrabbit.com.

Volume One

Each disc is themed after a character and colour. The back is peppered with screencaps and notable quotes (“Anata wa dare?” says little Nanako) as well as series credits. The two notable parts to translate are the disc synopsis, and the subheading (seen here in pink on the far left.) Maybe it’s a pull quote? Not really. So I called it a subheading.

Volume One Subheading

A forbidden cult anime masterpiece born of satellite broadcasting is finally available on LD.

Volume One Synopsis

Private Seiran Academy. A story of beautiful love and deep hatred unfolds at this prestigious all-girls high school steeped in tradition. The protagonist, Nanako Misonoo, who is thrilled to enroll in the high school division of her dream academy, encounters three stunning individuals: Miya-sama, Sanjust-sama, and Sho no Kimi. She also gets introduced to the glamorous world of Seiran Sorority, a society that only the chosen few are allowed to join. As a freshman granted unexpected membership in the Sorority, Nanako begins to take a deep look at love, friendship, and the essence of being human, all while being surrounded by envy and jealousy. She confides her various experiences at the academy, along with unspeakable worries and hardships, in letters to her elder “brother” and a young man named Takehiko Henmi… A masterpiece anime born of satellite broadcasting. It is a work by Riyoko Ikeda that the Dezaki-Sugino duo took on for the first time in 11 years since “The Rose of Versailles.” It is considered a unique work that brings a fresh, unprecedented shock by transcending the framework of TV anime with its aesthetic world.

The disc looks like this:

An “obi” (sash that covers the spine) is included. Of course, it says “My tears won’t stop!” in huge text, sells it as the latest Dezaki/Sugino collaboration, and describes it as tanibi na sekai — a poetic concept of a romantic, sublime world of aesthetic beauty.

There are two paper inserts in each volume. The first one looks like this, and is an index of LaserDisc chapter markers based not on plot developments, but notable character quotes.

There’s also a form you can fill out to get a telephone card. Simply cut out a coupon from each volume to prove you bought the full set. Be quick, entries are due end of March 1994.

The interior is the best part. Here’s the spread for Volume One.

I haven’t translated episode synopses, but I’ve attempted to translate both the staff letter and the “letter to dear brother” from someone external to the production. There’s a bio for each author.

Volume One’s “From the staff to all the fans”

Bio:

Osamu Dezaki Joined Mushi Production in 1963. After directing series like “Astro Boy” and “Goku’s Great Adventure,” he was selected as the general director for “Tomorrow’s Joe” in 1970 at the young age of 26. Born on November 18, 1943, and hailing from Tokyo, he has received high praise as a director. Subsequently, he has brought numerous masterpieces into the world, including “Aim for the Ace!”, “The Adventures of Ganba,” “Nobody’s Boy,” “Treasure Island,” “The Rose of Versailles,” “Space Adventure Cobra,” “BB,” and more. He is also referred to as “Sakimakura” and “Mataba Sakimakura.”

The letter:

This is my second time working on Ikeda-san’s work since “The Rose of Versailles.” Her works have a unique aroma, whether you call it a theme or a world. They seem to pursue the literary aspect of the story. When I read the original work of “Dear Brother,” I was very drawn to these aspects, and at the same time, I felt a sense of anticipation that it would be difficult, but perhaps various images could be created. It’s not just about being cool or intense; it’s about creating images that resonate more and more with people’s hearts. Fundamentally, there is an original story, but when the characters start to move, and each begins to live, the story could go anywhere. I always had that sense of tension. So, rather than sticking to the original work, I placed more emphasis on the directorial focus of the reality of the characters who had started to move. As for the techniques, it was not something I was particularly conscious of, but I used a lot of completely black shots simply because I honestly felt they needed to be black. Whether or not it was successful, I wanted to effectively overlap the visuals with the characters’ psychology by delivering such physiological shocks. The psychological fluctuations of the people are indeed the overall aroma of this work. How the audience perceives that aroma is something I want to leave up to each individual’s free sensitivity. - July 8, 1993, at Tezuka Pro

Volume One’s “Letter to Dear Brother”

Bio:

Mutsumi Inomata Born on December 23 in Kanagawa Prefecture. After working with Ashi Production and Kaname Production, she is currently freelance. After going through Ashi Production and Kaname Production, she is now a freelance artist. Mutsumi Inomata is her real name. She was born on December 23 in Kanagawa Prefecture. She is active in both the fields of anime character design and illustration. In the realm of animation, she served as the character designer and chief animation director for works such as “Plawres Sanshiro” and “Genmu Senki Leda,” and as the character designer for “Future GPX Cyber Formula.” As an illustrator, she has also provided numerous illustrations for novels, including titles like “Prince of the Universe,” “Dragon Quest,” and “Continent of the Wind.”

The letter:

Comics are way hard to translate without actually knowing Japanese. Here’s my best effort to uncover some meaning.

For several years, I had stopped watching anime and stuff… Living a hectic life, it’s been like this for a while now. Having a set day and a set time to watch a specific program (not just limited to anime), had become impossible for me. Recording videos is also a hassle, and first and foremost, I just don’t feel that “I must watch the next episode!” kind of emotion anymore. Ah well, I was thinking maybe I’ve just become an adult. Heh heh heh. I’m such an idiot. No, that’s not it.

The blonde guy in the bottom-right is labeled as her friend, and she’s saying something about “Poupee-chan”. I think in the second panel he’s yelling saying “But that doll is supposed to be a girl!”

The final monologue starts with:

By the way, I have a container for “dangerous items” at the corner of my work desk. I keep things like cutter blades in it, so that I don’t accidentally drop them on the floor and cut myself or something. The “dangerous items” container I’m using now has a sticker with Saint-Just-sama’s “Nanako’s Eyes,” heh heh heh ♡

That’s about all there is to note about Volume One, besides the fact it comes with an enormous poster (it’s the same art used on the cover of the Discotek Blu-Ray.)

Volume Two

Volume Two Subheading

Those eyes of that person, mysteriously and beautifully shining. Why these feelings? Why...? The increasing heartbeat, the endless tears of adolescence. A masterpiece of forbidden cult anime born from satellite broadcasting! The second installment on LaserDisc!

Volume Two Synopsis

Nanako’s life at school, after being chosen as a sorority member, was not all glitz and glamour. There were misunderstandings with her best friend Tomiko, and jealousy and slander from other students, including Misaki Aya. And then there was the obsessive love from her fellow sorority member, Nobuo Mariko. “What is a sorority? Is it really that important?” Nanako began to question the very existence of sororities. Yet, she tries to look straight into herself, even while confused. Always before her were the mysteriously beautiful and shining eyes of Saint-Just. Drawn to those eyes that seemed to peer into a distant past, Nanako attempts to uncover their secret. Then, by chance, she finds out about the special relationship between Fukiko and Saint-Just. Could it be that Miya-sama and Saint-Just-sama are…? The complicated interplay of relationships and the previously enigmatic characters start to become a little clearer in “Volume 2: The Chapter of Freezing Rain.” The subtle breaths of the people surrounding Nanako can be heard.

Volume Two’s “From the staff, Dear Nanako”

Bio:

Hideo Takayashiki Born in 1947, native of Iwate Prefecture. After passing through Osamu Tezuka’s Mushi Production, became a scenario writer. Known for scripts of theatrical anime films such as “Hang in There, Tabuchi-kun!”, “Barefoot Gen”, and the “Phoenix” series. Also worked on numerous TV anime scripts like “Gutsy Frog”, “Gamba’s Adventure”, and “Tomorrow’s Joe”. Additionally, wrote scripts for original videos and TV dramas like “The Laughing Target”, “One-Pound Gospel”, and has written many novels, actively contributing as a versatile scriptwriter. Member of the Japan Broadcast Writers Association.

The letter:

Dear Nanako Misonoo, How are you? How is university life? It’s hard to believe that three years have passed since then. I was involved with you and those around you for just one year, but in retrospect, it was a very intense year. In any case, I did something terrible to you. It may have been the extreme form of “bullying” in some sense. My work as a scriptwriter involved probing and expanding the uncharted worlds between the frames of original works, constructing new narratives. In a sense, it was a painful job. And for you, it was excruciating. But now it’s a wonderful memory. I am filled with the feeling that I did some real work after a long time. How is your best friend, Tomoko? What about Mariko? I assume Fuki is becoming more and more beautiful? Do you occasionally receive letters from Kaoru? This summer marked the third anniversary of Saint-Just-sama’s passing. Thinking back, it was an unusually hot day. Your anguished form, waiting alone at the platform while listening to the chirping cicadas and the sound of the sea, is still etched in my memory. I hear that there has not been a single day without flowers at the electric pole where Saint-Just-sama fell. I am grateful for the chance to have met you and the people around you. Autumn, 1993

Volume Two’s “Letter to Dear Brother”

Bio:

Kazuhiko Shimamoto Born April 26, 1961 From the hinterland of Hokkaido After being selected as an honorable mention in the 9th Shogakukan Newcomer Comics Award Debuted with “Hissatsu no Transfer Student”. His masterpieces include Gyakkyo Nine’ and Moeyo Pen. Examples include Flame Transfer Student’ and Kamen Rider ZO.”

The letter:

Another piece directed by Osamu Dezaki and supervised by Akio Sugino has become a permanent edition (converted to LaserDisc)! (Hooray!) From the anime “Ashita no Joe” (1), the unique and beautiful way of life portrayed in anime is so intense that it has consistently given us dreams, hopes, despair, loneliness, friendship, love, perseverance, and revival! These works have even surpassed the original works in the emotional impact of their final episodes. I continue to be captivated by the atmosphere conveyed by these works. The reason I enjoy drawing the final episodes of my own works is entirely due to Director Dezaki’s influence! Currently, Osamu Tezuka and Ikki Kajiwara, the two individuals whom I revered as gods in the manga world, are no longer with us. Even now, these works, which possess added charm, continue to provide us (even those who have become professionals) with anticipation for the next episode, life lessons, and motivation for creating works. Seagulls, dance! Liquids, shine!! Wind, blow and then, “Why go to such lengths?” Charafo! Go as far as you can go! Mariko, somehow you’re really scary, Mariko.

Then the words scribbled next to the drawing of Mariko:

You are the protagonist of this work! I’m paying the most attention to you. You’re not alone! That’s right! Make me Mariko’s ‘older brother’… ‘older brother’…

Mariko is saying (OCR mangling here, sadly):

Thank you… I just feel… that’s special… Why not? If I had to say, maybe it’s a ‘woman’s world’…

(Clearly a reference to Rikiishi Toru of Dezaki’s earlier anime Ashita no Joe, who intensely speaks of a “man’s world”. He and Mariko love a good starvation diet!)

The little chibi version of Shimamoto(?) in the bottom left is saying:

But everyone, don’t easily become someone’s ‘older brother.’ It’ll be troublesome later!

GPT-4 noticed a cute reference it couldn’t include in its translation. Its note:

The text seems to be OCR scanned partially, and hence some meanings might be missing or distorted, such as “マンガ界のジョン・シルバーだ!!”, which appears to compare Dezaki and Sugino to a ‘John Silver’ of the manga world.

Volume Three

Volume Three Subheading

It’s not too late; our beautiful time can still be preserved, forever unspoiled, just like this white snow… A forbidden masterpiece of a cult anime born from satellite broadcasting! The fourth release on LD!

Volume Three Synopsis

Suddenly summoned to the sorority house, Nanako is pressured by Fukiko to end her relationship with Hemimi. Upon hearing this, Saint-Just confesses her complicated relationship with Fukiko. The shocking truth behind why “Miya-sama” wanted Nanako in the sorority unfolds, leaving her deeply shaken. Meanwhile, Saint-Just is tormented by the realization that the stronger her feelings for Fukiko, the more she ends up hurting her. The complex relationship between Saint-Just and Fukiko has a tragic past involving a near-suicidal event. On another front, Mariko causes an incident by attacking Misaki, motivated by slander about her parents’ divorce, which leads to a movement spearheaded by Kaoru to abolish the sorority. Amid the crumbling sorority, Fukiko remains composed. The fourth volume, “Chapter of Snow Dance,” captures her frightening yet noble confidence and deep sorrow. In the snow that never melts, remains the sad yet beautiful promise of Saint-Just.

Volume Three’s “From the staff to all the fans”

Bio:

Tomoko Konparu Born on March 13, 1956, in Nara Prefecture. Pisces. Blood type AB. A fan of both manga and anime, she became a screenplay writer and debuted during her university days with “Ikkyu-san.” Anime works include “Urusei Yatsura: Only You,” “Urusei Yatsura: Remember My Love,” “Touch 2: Farewell Gift,” “Phoenix,” “Cat’s Eye,” “Hime-chan’s Ribbon,” and more. Novel works include “Mystery at the Tower of London,” “Mystery at Nara’s Great Buddha” (published by Kobunsha Bunko), among others.

The letter:

When I heard that this work was going to be turned into an anime, I was shocked. I’d known about the series since its serialization, so my reaction was something like, “What!? Are they really going to do it!? And on NHK of all places!?” Expanding on the original work and filling in the parts that hadn’t been depicted was incredibly challenging, but also enjoyable. What surprised me was that, around the midpoint, the characters started to assert themselves, taking actions that were entirely different from what I had planned. The princess would say, “My pride isn’t so easily swayed,” San Just would insist, “I’m not going to commit suicide,” and even the older sisters of the sorority were like, “We can’t back down now.” Every time this happened, I had to rework the composition. This phenomenon of “characters moving on their own accord” was a first for me in an anime series, and it was an incredibly fresh and pleasant experience. That being said, it’s rare to be so emotionally invested in characters while working, to the point of even role-playing their lines. To be honest, this was a work that got my inner anime fan excited. Ah, I want to do work like this again!

Volume Three’s “Letter to Dear Brother”

Bio:

Keiko Fukuyama Born on September 7. From Tokyo. Currently, she is working as a manga artist, authoring works like “Ruru-chan of Star Island” and “The Tale of Appfelrant.” She also illustrates for children’s stories, including the “Mama Ghost Series.”

The letter:

It appears to be titled “To the Unforgettable Older Sister”. Much of it is too hard to OCR. It opens with this caption:

“To My Older Brother…” is so melancholic and sentimental that it instantly takes us back to our student days where we felt we were tossed around by fate for no fault of our own…

Here’s some of the text beside the character drawings:

Fukiko/Saint-Just: Reputed as the most beautiful sisters in school Mariko: The most popular Mariko-san who lured our tears. There’s a lot to think about! Tomoko: A straightforward, kind friend Nanako: So there I was, fully embracing my Nanako persona, reaping all the sorority perks you could imagine. (I mean, they even say they’ll hook me up with a dreamy guy!) 💧 And just when I’m soaking up that sorority vibe, guess who’s set to make a surprise appearance right after the teaser for the next issue!

Text coming out of the TV:

It was “Oniisama e”!!!! Poor Mariko-san, right~ Misaki-san also, there was no need to say that much, you know.

Volume Four

Volume Four Subheading

It’s not too late yet, our beautiful time can still last forever, unspoiled by anyone, just like this white snow… A forbidden cult anime masterpiece born from satellite broadcasting! The fourth installment on LD!

Volume Four Synopsis

Suddenly summoned to the sorority house, Nanako is pressured by Fukiko to end her relationship with Hemmi. Hearing this, Sanjust is compelled to confess his relationship with Fukiko. The shocking truth makes Nanako reel in disbelief. He deeply ponders that the stronger his feelings for Fukiko, the more he ends up hurting her. The unusual relationship between Sanjust and Fukiko reveals a tragic past of a failed double suicide. Meanwhile, in the school, an incident occurs where Mariko, slandered for her parents’ divorce, attacks Misaki, leading to an anti-sorority movement centered around Kaoru. Fukiko still acts nonchalantly in front of the crumbling sorority. The volume unfolds displaying Fukiko’s terrifying yet noble confidence and deep sorrow. A beautiful yet sad promise lingers in the snow that never melts.

Volume Four’s “From the staff to all the fans”

Bio:

Kenichiro Haneda Born on January 12, 1949. Graduated from Toho Gakuen College of Music in the Piano Department. An accomplished concert pianist, Kenichiro Haneda has a broad range of experience, including composing and performing music for movies and TV themes, as well as acting as a musical director for musicals and commercials. He has worked on numerous soundtracks such as NHK’s morning drama “Youth Family,” TBS’s “Women Work Hard” and “Life Is Full of Demons.” With his genre-defying approach to music and his bright, humorous personality, he is a sought-after multi-artist in various fields.

The letter:

I’ve worked quite a bit with Music Director Seiji Suzuki in the past. Suzuki gives me the music menu, and I’m the one who creates it. We’ve had some pretty detailed discussions about it. Of course, I’ve read the original work as well. When I read it at home, my daughter gives me a puzzled look, as if to say my interests have changed quite a bit (laughs). I think I wrote around 40 songs in total. The music is meant to have a Baroque sound while also feeling contemporary. The order was for something classical yet with a pop atmosphere. The image that immediately came to my mind was a rhythm section, with a harpsichord playing the melody. String instruments intricately marking the rhythm, much like Vivaldi’s Four Seasons. And on top of that, a flugelhorn playing the melody… Regarding the scenes where the piano is played, I played all of it myself. I often compose and perform my own pieces. It’s less about talent and more like playing two roles; maybe I contribute quite a bit to cost-saving (laughs). In any case, this work has a unique atmosphere. If the music I created successfully captures that, then I must again express my gratitude to Suzuki for coordinating everything. October 28, 1993, aired on NHK

Volume Four’s “Letter to Dear Brother”

Bio:

Hideaki Anno Born on May 22, 1960. Originally from Ube, Yamaguchi Prefecture. Height is 180 cm; weight is a secret. Debuted as an animator during his time at Osaka University of Arts, working on the TV version of “Macross.” Later worked on “Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind,” the film version of “Macross,” “Royal Space Force,” and others, before directing “Gunbuster” and “Nadia: The Secret of Blue Water.” Currently planning new projects.

The letter:

Way to go!! Oniisama e… Wow!! The long-awaited, tumultuous Volume 4!! This volume shows us the peak of the series, from Mariko-san’s stabbing incident to the dissolution of the sorority. Amazing, this is really amazing!! Yes. Especially the heartbreaking breakdown of Nobuo’s family, and the portrayal of the sorority’s downfall reminiscent of the French Revolution, are things that are indescribable with words. Yes. The highlights this time are– Brilliant! Highly sophisticated direction and high-quality animation in Episode 27! Tear-jerking! In Episode 28, Mr. Nobuo Hikawa’s soul-stirring outcry!! Upon hearing those lines, my tears really wouldn’t stop. Seriously. Amazing!! Oh, so moving! The heartfelt words of Miya-sama at the end of Episode 32. The sight of Miya-sama waiting alone in the Sorority House and those lines really hit me hard. Moreover, as always– Incredible!! The world that reminds me of ‘Aim for the Ace!’ and ‘The Rose of Versailles’!! Impressive!! The drama unfolds only in limited settings, like homes, trains, buses, crossings, schools, and other familiar places!! Very Sophisticated!! The direction, composed of stillness and motion, light and black, feels so mature. As expected, Dezaki-san! And, Powerful!! Nanako-san is turning into an adult right before our eyes. Moreover, the music is also great!! I wish the BGM CD would come out soon. The use of chimes and telephones remains clever as ever!! Ah, the only thing missing is a bit more on the background elements… by H. ANO ‘93 10/27

The tiger is saying “It’s awesome, isn’t it!”

Written above the drawings of Mariko and Saint-Just: “These two are definitely the ones. Yes.”

Volume Five

Volume Five Subheading

The summer full of light ends, the eventful summer ends… And then the cherry blossoms bloom again… Brother, I am now… A satellite broadcast-born forbidden cult anime masterpiece! The final chapter on LD!

Volume Five Synopsis

Finally, the petition to abolish the sorority has garnered signatures from over two-thirds of all students. As the campus is in a state of upheaval, Saint-Just is lost in thought alone. One day, he calls Nanako out and promises to take her to the beach where he used to go often with his mother when he was younger. However, on the promised day, Saint-Just never shows up. His sudden death plunges many people, including Nanako, into the depths of sorrow. Among them, Kaoru, who is battling cancer and fearful of its recurrence, takes the news of Saint-Just’s death most seriously. She finds comfort in the warmth of Takahiko Henmi, but continues to stubbornly refuse his love, thinking about his future. Love, friendship, bonds… The fifth volume, titled “Chapter of the Fireflies,” explores the dignity, beauty, and value of human life. Seasons turn, and the cherry blossoms bloom again, bringing back familiar scents to Nanako. All of this is accompanied by the most beautiful “love.”

Volume Five’s “From the staff to all the fans”

Bio:

Riyoko Ikeda Born December 18, Showa 22 (1947). Native of Osaka City. Blood type AB. Graduated from Tokyo Metropolitan Hakutsuru High School and went on to the Philosophy department at Tokyo University of Education (now Tsukuba University). Began drawing manga during her time in school and debuted with “The Girl in the Rose Mansion.” In 1972, she achieved great success with “The Rose of Versailles,” acquiring a broad fan base that transcended the realm of girls’ manga. Known for her keen historical perspective and deep insight into human nature. Active as a writer and essayist as well. Her hobbies include Nihon buyo (Japanese traditional dance), oil painting, movie appreciation, vocal music, piano, cooking, and knitting. Her work has been selected for the 76th Nika Exhibition. Major works: “The Rose of Versailles,” “Window of Orpheus,” “Empress Catherine,” “To My Brother,” “At the Ends of the Sky,” “The Blue Pomegranate,” “My Manga” Books: “If Only Life Could Be Lived Once,” “Women of the French Revolution,” “Women Who Wrote Masterpieces” Currently writing “Eroica” and “Prince Shotoku.”

The letter:

As one who has journeyed far from that radiant chapter called youth, a time that shone with an almost awkward brilliance, I find myself in a peculiar blend of bewilderment and nostalgia. Seeing my old ideas of high school life come to life as animation almost 20 years later is surreal, to say the least. Still, it’s exciting: hearing voices given to these characters, seeing them talk, laugh, and get angry. Watching them come alive is truly a thrilling and satisfying experience. Ah, adolescence — everyone’s inescapable stairway to adulthood. Some people take each step slowly and carefully, while others rush ahead, ending up out of breath or even lost. And then, there are those who may lose their direction, standing still, contemplating each step. Wrapped in the love of family, meeting various people, nurturing friendships, experiencing love, and going through the ups and downs of hurt and forgiveness — it would be wonderful to climb those steps in such a way.

Volume Five’s “Letter to Dear Brother”

Bio:

Rumiko Takahashi Born in Niigata Prefecture. Debuted in 1978 with “Katte na Yatsura,” submitted while still in college, in Shonen Sunday. Famous works include “Urusei Yatsura,” “Maison Ikkoku,” and others. Currently serializing “Ranma 1/2” in Shonen Sunday.

The letter:

A masterpiece infused with the creator’s soul. When I heard from the staff that “Oniisama e…” was getting the anime treatment on satellite TV, I was surprised. I’d delved into the original comic before and it’s quite an eccentric story. “How are they going to pull this off?” I thought. But learning that the script was in the capable hands of my acquaintance Tomoko Konparu, I was very excited. In fact, the anime that aired was genuinely captivating. The characters are so larger-than-life that they electrify the screen the moment they step into frame. It’s been a long time since an anime had that kind of presence. I believe the animation is done by the same people who worked on “Tomorrow’s Joe 2.” The scenes are so visceral that you can almost feel the punches land and see the fighters hit the mat. I kept asking myself, “Why isn”t a mouthpiece flying out?” (laughs) My favorite character in the work is Nobuo Mariko. The scenes where she bites her lip until it turns a flushed red, I find it really cute. But what blew me away was the show’s emotional intelligence. Just when the heroine seems on the brink of breaking, a lifeline is thrown her way. This nuanced touch prevents the darker, more harrowing elements from overwhelming the viewer. It’s as if you can feel the sincerity of the creator throughout the piece.

And that’s it. Again, check out the full scans on Archive.org, and remember to encourage all your friends to experience this beautiful anime!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Was I the AH for making a joke no one told me they didn't like?

This happened back when I was 12.

I was pretty... not popular, but friends with a lot of semi-popular figures in a certain fandom. I know you aren't supposed to be on social media until you're 13 and all that, but it was a good while ago [2019ish] and I was a kid who never made friends IRL.

One of my friends [16, I think?] had a delusion [it was a diagnosed disorder they had and told me about, if I remembered I would tell you, MAYBE OSDD but I think it was something else] that they were one of the characters from the show the fandom was about.

I had other friend groups into the same show, and I would often make jokes "pretending" to be one of the characters [usually just posting a memed up version of a screencap and mimicking the speech pattern of the character], which would land well and make them laugh, so I saw no issue using this joke around the friend with delusions [who I'll call Lucas]. I only did it twice.

The first time I didn't notice anything different, but the second time they started treating me like this character [who I later learnt but didn't know at the time Lucas recalled having memories of being in a romantic relationship with]. Lucas was the only person I knew who had these types of delusions, so I didn't know what to do and just went along with it until they, uh... "snapped out of it", I guess?

Soon after, I was added to a group chat with a few other people. All of them were 16, except for who we'll call Dawn, who was 12 or 13, and who was the leader of their whole group. I'll call the other people Rosa [someone who I had gotten in a huge argument with before for a reason I don't remember but I think she started it and I overreacted, if this was about that it'd probably be YTA or ESH, but I apologized and we didn't really talk anymore], and Nate [someone who I hadn't ever talked to outside of a large group setting]. Lucas was also there in this group chat.

They were staging an... intervention? They were basically making me explain my actions and were telling me how I was a horrible person for "tricking Lucas into thinking I was this character". Lucas wasn't very responsive to the situation, and I was pretty sure Dawn was the one who orchestrated the whole thing and roped Lucas into it, maybe as a confidant or something like that. Rosa brought up how awful I was to her before, and how she never forgave me even though I thought she did. Nate also brought up how "aggressive and violent" I was, citing one of the only times I had talked to him [which I thought was just a funny way to greet someone, akin to like "*knocks a door off its hinges and it explodes everywhere, I take several minutes trying to put it back together but it clearly isn't done well* Hi guys"], using a screenshot he had taken MONTHS prior and had been saving for that moment, he told me.

I was supposed to go out shopping, so I couldn't keep on checking my phone without my parents getting suspicious of me. I was also hyperventilating and kept on having to take breaks to make sure I didn't freak out. I kept on trying to reply to things in chronological order, and they were getting more and more progressively upset. I told them the first part about my parents getting suspicious, and one of them even told me that "your parents should know what kind of sick fuck you are, maybe then you'll understand your actions." Eventually, we DID go shopping, and I couldn't reply for several hours.

When I got back, Dawn and Rosa had made several call out posts on their social media each, and I had several DMs from other people about it. I couldn't read the posts, and all I did was deactivate my account. I couldn't post art I had done online until about a year ago, couldn't even think about the show until a few months ago when my friend wanted to try it out, and I still can't go onto that social media platform because it makes me so nervous and I can't breathe, afraid that someone will recognize me even now and "expose me". Lucas wanted to keep in touch, but they were a bit clingy and only came to me when they were having mental breakdowns. I couldn't handle the constant reminders, so I eventually deleted their number.

Note: while I am very safe about my identity online, these people [at least Dawn, since she said how old she was before me and even showed pictures of herself in cosplay online before, she WAS very 12] did know what age I was [I had lied about it before then to other people].

I still feel really bad about this, and I was wondering if I really was being an asshole. Maybe I was just being biased because I was the one being persecuted? I don't know. Maybe I was the AH because I was suffering from the horrible illness sweeping the nation called being 12 years old?

I'm sorry if this is a little silly, but I'm 17 now and this is still a part of my past I'm ashamed of.

Could you tag this post "12 year old confrontation" so I can find it? Thank you. Sorry, again.

What are these acronyms?

[sinful-mind-joyful-thoughts]

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 | 1

part 2 - Life 360

screencaps and gifs: Pinterest

Pairing: dark!Joel Miller x Fem!reader

Warnings/tags: MDNI 18+, DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, Drinking, food,flirting, DRUGGING, KIDNAPPING, talks of true crime THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONTENT YOU CONSUME

Summary: A Tinder date goes very, very wrong, but you always considered yourself prepared for such situations.

WC: 2.9K

For notifications follow - @sinful-mind-joyful-fics

A/n: I tried to step out of my comfort zone a little with this. It's based on a post I saw while doom-scrolling on this app from @blondwhowrites. She had this amazing post about wanting to see more readers who fight and don't stop. They don't lose hope, they go into survival mode, and I just hope I do this idea somewhat justice.

Swipe. Swipe. Swipe.

Two glasses of wine deep, you and your best friend sat comfortably on the couch, a true crime podcast playing in the background. The room was dimly lit, the only sources of light being the glow from the TV and the occasional flicker from a scented candle on the coffee table. The smell of lavender and vanilla filled the air, mixing with the earthy aroma of the red wine. 

You laughed as your friend, Jess, made a snide comment about the latest murder suspect discussed on the podcast. Her dark hair fell in waves around her face, a playful glint in her eyes as she took another sip of her wine. You felt a warm buzz from the alcohol, a pleasant contrast to the cold shiver the podcast sent down your spine.

"Can you believe some people are actually that dumb?" Jess snorted. "I mean, come on. Who leaves that much evidence behind?"

You nodded, your eyes focused on your phone screen, fingers swiping left and right in a rhythmic motion. Tinder had become a mindless distraction, a game you played together to pass the time and maybe, just maybe, find someone interesting. The profiles blurred together after a while, a parade of faces and bios that hardly registered in your mind.

"Ugh, another one with a fish picture," you groaned, swiping left. "Do they think holding a dead fish makes them more attractive?"

Jess laughed, nearly spilling her wine. "Maybe it's supposed to show they're 'outdoorsy' or something. Like, 'Hey, I can provide for you in the apocalypse with my fishing skills.'"

You rolled your eyes, ready to swipe again, when Jess nudged you with her elbow. "Wait, wait. Give me the phone for a sec."

Reluctantly, you handed it over, watching as she scrolled through your potential matches with a critical eye. She made a few quick swipes, her lips pursed in concentration.

"Nope. Nope. Definitely nope," she muttered. Then, suddenly, she paused, her finger hovering over the screen. "Oh, hello. Who's this?"

You leaned in, your curiosity piqued. On the screen was a man named Joel. He was 56, a contractor, and attractive for his age. His profile picture showed a ruggedly handsome man with a salt-and-pepper beard and piercing eyes that seemed to look right through you. He had an air of confidence about him, the kind that made you stop and take a second look.

"Damn," Jess said, raising her eyebrows. "He kind of looks like Pedro Pascal. Not bad for an older guy."

You couldn't help but agree. There was something undeniably appealing about Joel, something that made you hesitate before swiping. You read through his bio, which mentioned his love for traveling, his work as a contractor, and his interest in trying new wines. 

"Well," Jess said, nudging you again, "it's your last free swipe. What do you think?"

You took a deep breath, your finger hovering over the screen. There was a strange flutter in your chest, a mix of excitement and nervousness. Finally, with a small, decisive movement, you swiped right.

As the screen flashed "It's a match!", you felt a thrill of anticipation. Jess cheered, raising her glass in a mock toast. "Here's to Joel and his contractor skills. May he be as good with his hands as he is with a hammer."

The sound of your phone buzzing broke through the haze of wine and laughter. You glanced down, surprised to see a new message notification from Joel. Jess leaned over, peering at your screen.

"Well, well," she said, raising an eyebrow. "Looks like Mr. Contractor is making the first move. That's not something you see every day."

"Yeah," you agreed, a bit taken aback. "It's kind of refreshing."

With a grin, you opened the message. It was simple, yet charming: "Hey there. I saw you like trying new wines. Any recommendations?"

Jess snickered, taking another sip of her wine. "Smooth, Joel. Real smooth."

You couldn't help but smile as you typed out a reply. "Hey Joel! If you like reds, you should try a good Malbec. There's a great one from Argentina that I'm obsessed with."

His response was almost immediate. "Sounds perfect. I've been meaning to expand my wine knowledge. Maybe you could give me a lesson sometime?"

You showed the message to Jess, who giggled and nudged you playfully. "Look at you, already setting up a date. You go, girl."

You blushed, quickly typing back. "I'd love to. Any wines you're particularly curious about?"

Joel's reply came swiftly. "I'm open to anything, really. Maybe you can surprise me?"

Jess leaned in, reading over your shoulder. "Ooh, he’s smooth. What are you going to say?"

"How about this," you muttered, fingers flying across the keyboard. "Great! How about we start with a nice Pinot Noir? It's a favorite of mine."

"Sounds fantastic. Any recommendations for a good one?" Joel texted back.

Jess snorted. "He's definitely into you."

The conversation flowed easily after that. Joel proved to be both witty and engaging. He shared stories of his recent travel adventures, his favorite being a trip to Italy. "I spent a week in Tuscany, just soaking in the culture and, of course, the wine," he wrote.

You smiled, replying, "I've always wanted to go to Italy. Did you visit any vineyards?"

"Several! It was incredible. The scenery, the people...everything was perfect. You should definitely go if you get the chance."

Jess sighed dreamily. "Italy, vineyards, and wine? He’s painting quite the picture. Ask him about his work!"

You typed quickly, "So, tell me more about your work. What kind of projects do you usually take on?"

"I'm mostly into residential renovations, but I dabble in commercial projects too. Keeps things interesting. My favorite project was restoring this old Victorian house. Took a lot of work, but it was worth it."

Joel sent a photo of the Victorian house, its intricate details beautifully restored. Jess peered at the screen, impressed. "Wow, he's really good. That house looks amazing."

"Right?" you agreed, replying to Joel. "The house looks incredible. You have a real talent."

"Thank you! I love what I do. How about you? What keeps you busy?"

You shared stories about your job and hobbies, feeling the conversation flow as naturally as the wine. The atmosphere in the room grew even more relaxed, filled with the sound of your laughter and the comforting cadence of the podcast in the background.

"He's really something," Jess said, leaning back into the couch. "I haven't seen you this excited about anyone in a while."

You nodded, a warm flutter of excitement in your chest. "I know. It's...nice."

Jess smiled knowingly. "He's definitely a keeper. I should probably head home though. Work tomorrow, unfortunately."

"Yeah, me too," you sighed, feeling a pang of disappointment as the evening wound down.

Jess gathered her things, giving you a hug at the door. "Good luck with Joel. He seems like a great guy. Text me all the details later, okay?"

"Will do," you promised, waving as she disappeared into the night.

Returning to the couch, you saw another message from Joel. "It was great talking with you tonight. I'd love to continue our conversation over that Malbec. What do you say?"

You smiled, feeling a warm flutter of excitement. "I'd like that too. How about this weekend?"

Joel’s reply was quick. "That sounds perfect. How about Saturday night? I know a great Italian place downtown. We can have dinner and then maybe a glass of that Malbec at my place?"

You hesitated for a moment, the true crime stories from the podcast playing in your mind. But something about Joel felt genuine, and you decided to take a chance. "Saturday night works for me. What time?"

"How about 7 PM? I can pick you up if you’d like."

You thought about it, weighing the pros and cons. Jess had always warned you about letting strangers know where you lived, but Joel seemed different. Maybe it was the wine or his charm, but you felt a sense of trust. "Sure, that sounds great. I live at 112 Maple Street, apartment 4B."

"Got it. Looking forward to it. Have a good night!" Joel replied.

"Good night, Joel," you texted back, feeling a mix of excitement and nerves.

The next few days passed in a blur of anticipation. Jess was thrilled when you updated her, giving you tips on what to wear and what to talk about. By the time Saturday rolled around, you were a bundle of nerves and excitement.

As the clock neared 7 PM, you stood in front of your mirror, adjusting your dress for the hundredth time. It was a simple, elegant black dress that Jess had insisted was perfect for the occasion. You had paired it with a delicate necklace and your favorite heels, wanting to strike the right balance between casual and sophisticated.

Before heading downstairs, you grabbed your phone and texted Jess. "Hey, just a heads up. I’m going to that Italian place downtown with Joel. His address is 245 Fallsview Lane. I’ll text you when I get back. My Life360 will be on the whole night. Can you check on my location occasionally?"

Jess replied almost immediately. "Got it! Be safe and have fun. Text me if anything feels off. I'll keep an eye on your location."

You always prided yourself on being prepared. Too many hours of true crime shows had taught you the importance of caution. Sharing your whereabouts had become second nature; you never wanted to take any chances.

At exactly 7 PM, your phone buzzed with a message. "I’m outside :)"

You took a deep breath, grabbing your purse and heading downstairs. When you stepped outside, you saw Joel waiting by his car. He looked even better in person, his rugged charm accentuated by a casual yet stylish outfit.

"Hi," you greeted, feeling a bit shy.

"Hi," he replied with a warm smile. "You look amazing."

"Thank you," you said, feeling a blush creep up your cheeks. "You too."

Joel opened the car door for you, and you slid into the passenger seat, your nerves slowly easing as he drove towards the restaurant. The conversation flowed easily, much like it had over text, and by the time you arrived at the Italian place, you felt completely at ease.

The restaurant was cozy and inviting, with soft lighting and a warm atmosphere. Joel held the door open for you, and you were soon seated at a corner table, a bottle of red wine already waiting.

"This place is lovely," you said, looking around.

"I'm glad you like it," Joel replied, pouring you a glass of wine. "To new beginnings."

"To new beginnings," you echoed, clinking your glass against his.

The dinner was wonderful, filled with laughter and easy conversation. Joel was charming and attentive, his stories about his work and travels fascinating. He had a way of making you feel like you were the only person in the room, his eyes never leaving yours.

"So," Joel said, leaning back in his chair, "tell me more about yourself. What do you do when you're not working or swiping on Tinder?"

You laughed, taking a sip of your wine. "I'm a server, working my way through college. I'm studying to become a digital design artist. In my free time, I love reading, especially true crime. I also enjoy hiking. What about you?"

"I enjoy traveling and exploring new places," Joel said, his eyes twinkling. "I’ve been to quite a few countries. It's always interesting to see how people live and what they value. Speaking of which, are you close with your family?"

You hesitated for a moment, the memory of your dad's death flashing in your mind. "Not really. My dad passed away a few years ago, and things have been strained since then. My family lives across the state, so I don't see them often."

Joel's expression softened. "I'm sorry to hear that. It must be tough."

You nodded, feeling a bit vulnerable. "It is, but I've learned to rely on my friends. They're like my chosen family."

"That’s great," Joel said, smiling warmly. "Having a strong support system is so important. Do you have a big circle of friends, or do you keep it more intimate?"

"Mostly intimate," you said. "I have a few close friends who mean the world to me. Jess, who you’ve heard me mention, is my best friend. We've known each other forever."

Joel nodded, his eyes never leaving yours. "It sounds like you have a great support system. It's so important to have people you can rely on."

"Absolutely," you agreed, feeling warm and comfortable.

As the night went on, Joel skillfully guided the conversation, his questions always seeming casual and light. "So, have you ever traveled alone?" he asked, casually.

"Not really," you admitted. "I prefer to have someone with me. It feels safer that way."

"That's smart," Joel said, nodding approvingly. "Safety is always a priority. Speaking of which, do you have any health routines? Like, do you take any daily vitamins or medication?"

"Just the usual vitamins," you replied, not thinking much of it. "Why do you ask?"

"Just curious," Joel said with a charming smile. "I like to know what keeps you healthy and happy."

You smiled, feeling flattered by his interest. The conversation continued to flow effortlessly, Joel's charm and attentiveness making you feel special.

After dinner, you and Joel were heading back to his place for a glass of Malbec. You hesitated again, the warnings from the true crime podcast whispering in your mind. But Joel's smile was disarming, and the evening had been so perfect that you found yourself agreeing.

Joel led you to his car, opening the door for you like a perfect gentleman. As he drove, you looked out the window, making a mental note of big landmarks. You saw the city skyline fading into the distance, a large water tower, and a distinctive old barn. You kept these in mind, your true crime-trained brain insisting on caution.

"So, what do you usually do to unwind after a long day?" Joel asked, his tone casual.

"I love reading," you replied, glancing at him. "Especially true crime. There's something fascinating about the psychology behind it all."

Joel chuckled, his eyes briefly meeting yours before returning to the road. "That's interesting. So you must know a lot about staying safe then, right?"

You nodded, feeling a bit more on guard. "Yeah, it's always good to be prepared."

Joel's eyes gleamed with a curiosity that felt too intense. "Do you ever get scared living alone?"

You shrugged, trying to keep your tone light. "Not really. I take precautions. Plus, I have friends who check in on me."

"That's smart," Joel said, nodding approvingly. "It’s good to have people who care about you."

Finally, you arrived at Joel’s place. It was a secluded farmhouse, far from the city lights and surrounded by dense woods. The house itself was charming, with warm lights glowing from the windows and a cozy, inviting atmosphere.

Joel led you inside, and you were greeted by the comforting smell of wood and faint hints of vanilla. He poured the Malbec, and you watched him closely, noting every move he made. He didn't seem to spike the drinks; it all looked perfectly innocent. You settled on the couch, feeling a mix of comfort and unease.

"Thank you for tonight," you said, raising your glass. "It’s been wonderful."

"Thank you," Joel replied, his eyes meeting yours. "I’m glad we matched."

You took a sip of the wine, savoring its rich flavor. As you talked, the conversation drifted naturally.

"So, what inspired you to go into digital design?" Joel asked, his curiosity genuine.

"I've always loved art and technology," you explained. "Digital design feels like the perfect blend of both. Plus, I enjoy creating things that people find useful and beautiful."

Joel nodded appreciatively. "That's a great combination. Do you have a favorite project you've worked on?"

You smiled, thinking back. "Probably a website I designed for a non-profit. It was challenging but incredibly rewarding."

Joel leaned forward slightly, his interest piqued. "That sounds amazing. Do you see yourself starting your own firm one day?"

"I'd love to," you admitted, feeling the warmth of his attention. "But for now, I'm just focusing on finishing my degree."

"That’s smart," Joel said. "One step at a time."

You took another sip of the wine, feeling a strange dizziness creeping in. Your vision blurred slightly, and you set your glass down, trying to focus.

"So, do you have any big plans for the future?" Joel asked, his voice sounding distant.

"I... I want to finish my degree," you managed to say, the room starting to spin.

Your true crime instincts kicked in hard. Something was wrong. Very wrong. You discreetly reached for your phone, trying to text Jess, but your fingers felt heavy and uncoordinated.

Joel’s voice was soothing, almost too soothing. "You seem a bit tired. Are you okay?"

You nodded, your heart racing. You had to get out. Now. You fumbled with your phone, trying to hit the call button for Jess, but your vision swam.

Joel leaned in closer, his expression concerned. "Do you need to lie down? Maybe you had too much wine."

Panic surged through you as you struggled to keep your thoughts clear. "No, I... I need to..."

Just as you were about to press send, the phone slipped from your fingers. Joel was quicker, catching you as you slumped forward. "Easy there," he murmured, his arms strong and steady around you.

The last thing you saw before darkness claimed you was Joel's face, his expression unreadable. The phone buzzed futilely on the floor, Jess’s name glowing on the screen.

[sgiandubh]

Gleberman's podcast, take 2: the video edition

I volunteered to take one for the team, again, this time watching (or trying to, at least) the video version of Gleberman's infamous podcast on Youtube (if you are a masochist, like me, feel free: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_md73Ws2O4&t=303s). You see, I was so intrigued by the OTT praise that I wanted to see the live reactions. To do so, I even watched it at a 0,25 reduced speed ratio, just to catch up those pesky, spontaneous facial expressions he couldn't possibly hide.

Let's start with what we all know: in 10 years, S is much, much better at hiding his game and almost proficient at mastering the poker face. But if you really pay attention (and I did), you might still notice some interesting things: after all, we aren't robots and we can't calibrate or control everything. So, here's my take on what I saw, with screencaps, and covering only the bits I quoted in my first post (https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/733285180488450048/and-kia-ora-to-new-zealand-like-youve )- the rest was really beyond my patience and goodwill abilities, to be honest.

A word and a question on the staging of this podcast, before anything else. I am always paying great attention to the outfits of the people who participate, because I believe they are an integral part of the show itself. While Gleberman's was, to be honest, unacceptably sloppy, S was right on point the message he wanted to convey, with the short-sleeved (?) khaki shirt that spelled three things: Bachelor. Traveler/Explorer. Tropical Chic. As a side note, I wish he'd been dressed like that in the Nevis resort suite snippet: not the usual Peter Panesque/Marty McFly/boyz in da hood outfit. But hey, that's just me, what do I know, after all, maybe the boy really feels more relaxed in those. Brand-wise, however, I will never cease to drum up the urgent need to step up the outfit game and start aligning it with the real age.

The other thing that intrigued me is common to S and C: their love of cupboards and hallways when it comes to playing the show/not show game on podcasts 'from home'. Because they know we watch and because they know, by now, we are probably worse than the MI-6, we're left with... eh... nothing. He apparently found the perfect solution with that sort of a connecting space he is always showing us, lately. Seriously, though, who the hell places himself in front of an opening (sliding door?) to a bigger room, except when wanting to block both the view and any other interpretation? Heh. Things that make one go 🤔.

Anyways. Let's have a look at some reactions I have screencapped:

Gleberman: 'same sweetest person and like an amazing human being'.

Translation: I am pursing my lips and bracing myself for the rest of the #silly compliment. I can't possibly express how much this annoys and embarrasses the bejesus out of me. But hey, Monica, have at it and let's be done already with this circus.

Gleberman: '...and friend to talk to and I just love you.'

Translation: I close my eyes because I don't want to hear the OTT crap this woman is shamelessly peddling around. I cross my arms defensively, because this is the best I can do. I really pray internally she'd immediately stop it, somehow (though I am fully aware she won't and this is just the beginning). She definitely overstepped a red line and I don't want to be a part of it.

S: '.I think there's...there's a lot of smoke and mirrors, this is ALL fake.'

Translation: I am talking with my hands to make a point (and also to show off the damn rings - oh, Lord, let them talk about these to oblivion, on socials). I am also covering my face with a gesture evocative of a smoke curtain, because ultimately I feel the need to protect myself from the smiling entity on the other side of my screen and because, at the same time, I know exactly what I did here. Oops, I just unleashed another half-in-jest zeppelin, that people could pretzel exactly how they see fit. However, it's true: my public persona is a carefully curated lie. Peekaboo, underneath I know very well what my committed truth is.

S: ' I am the double'.

Translation: I am opening my arms and I am puffing out my chest. There, I've said it. Ha! I am in full defiant mode, now. I meant every single word I just said and damn the consequences.

I wish I'd had the patience to watch it all. But I think I've managed to analyze the most interesting part of it. Overall, there was quite a bit of stress involved on S's side (lots of chin grabbing, etc), the only one I was interested in. She was simply not worth my attention and I doubt she, unlike many other people in the media, 'knows stuff'. If anything, that only served to validate my first impressions.

And yes, always look for the presence of the teeny-tiny abnormal detail. Sometimes (not always) it can prove rewarding.

[nonbinaryspy]

Meta: Timerra and Tellius

Timerra’s (belated) birthday gives me an excuse to talk about one of my favorite Engage topics: the parallels between her and various Tellius characters.

(Spoilers for FE9/10 and FE17.)

The obvious place to start is Ike. As Timerra’s personal Emblem, his build and paralogue in Engage focus on turning defense into offense to endure and protect others. This synergizes with Timerra’s Sandstorm ability as well as her priorities as Solm’s future queen.

Compared to other Emblem summonings in the game, the scene where Ike is summoned is quick and to-the-point. The Solm royals are highly competent, with a wide spy network, and already had a plan in place for when Alear shows up. They have a healthy wariness they don’t immediately display, as they welcome Alear with open arms while secretly testing if they are the true Divine Dragon. By the time Timerra meets Alear, their identity has been confirmed and bandits are already attacking, so she jumps straight into action to get Ike’s help and protect the village.

I’m sure Ike would approve of her no-nonsense approach and her focus on keeping people safe, especially after all of his own bandit fights. He has no patience for bureaucracy or noble trappings, but he understands the need for discretion when danger and politics are involved (see: his own ‘sometimes you have to fool your allies’ maneuver in RD part 2), so I think he would appreciate how the Solm royals handle this.

But you don’t have to take my word for that. Between Timerra and Seforia saying they always wanted to meet him, Timerra calling him family, Ike telling Fogado that Solm castle reminded him of being with the mercenaries, and his first Somniel dialogue saying that he already misses Solm, I think it’s safe to say there’s a lot of natural fondness between Ike and the Solm royals. Is there any wonder, when one of Solm’s main norms is accepting people regardless of their origins, possibly Ike’s defining ideal?

My favorite example of this is when Alear’s origins are revealed, and Timerra and Fogado have some of the most affirming reactions:

[ID: Four screencaps with the following dialogue toward Alear: Timerra: What matters to me isn’t how you were born. It’s what you do with the life you’re given. Timerra: If you choose to live as a Divine Dragon, then that’s what you are! Timerra: Nothing’s changed as far as I’m concerned. The you that’s in front of me—that’s all I need. Fogado: The people of Solm don’t care about origins. We care about the you NOW. And you are amazing.]

This aspect of Timerra shines throughout her supports, most notably in her relationships with Merrin and Panette. Their love and loyalty toward her stems from a time before they even knew she was a princess. They both see her as a beacon in their lives, as they wished to escape the confines of their pasts and find new futures for themselves. Timerra saw them for their ideal versions of themselves—Merrin as a chivalrous knight, Panette as someone who isn’t caught in a destructive cycle—rather than the situations they came from. Her acceptance helped them create those realities for themselves.

Anyway, unrelated to the above, just a completely random pair of images that don’t make me cry at all:

[ID: In a screencap from Engage, Timerra is saying, “No matter what’s happened, you’re still you. Let’s go save the world, Ike!” In a screencap from Path of Radiance, Ike is telling Soren, “No. It doesn’t change anything. You’re still you, Soren!”]

Another example is Timerra’s attitude toward Veyle. In the main plot, she’s one of the few main characters to express distrust toward Veyle even after the truth is revealed. However, once Veyle has proven herself as an ally, Timerra is extremely friendly toward her in their supports, with Veyle appreciating how Timerra treats her like any other friend rather than a Fell Dragon’s daughter. Again, this is reminiscent of Ike’s blend of skepticism and treating everyone the same.

I think it’s also interesting that Timerra struggles with conflicting desires for freedom vs. connection, as shown in her S support. Despite Ike’s love for people, he doesn’t always deal well with the responsibilities and expectations that get placed on him, and his ending shows he shares some of her wanderlust.

Timerra: When we connect with people─you know, really bond with them─those bonds make us stronger. Timerra: I mean, our closest allies help us do things we could never do all by ourselves. Timerra: That’s powerful stuff. But those bonds─those friendships─can feel like obligations too.

Finally, one of my favorite parallels between Ike and Timerra is a shared charm point: the fact that they live as they please, regardless of what others think, while also acting like everything they do is super obvious. An extremely ‘have your cake and eat it too’ mentality that I can only respect. 

Alear: Still, you never cease to amaze. You take it upon yourself to help root out bandits… Timerra: What, is that not normal? Timerra: I’m just protecting my people. I thought that’s what royalty was supposed to do. Alear: You say something completely radical like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Timerra: Hahaha! That’s my charm!

Ranulf: Well…a little crazy, yeah! I’ve never worked for a leader who’s as blunt and straightforward as you. It’s pretty shocking to have a commander who doesn’t care what anyone thinks, no matter how powerful they are. Ike: Well, that’s just my style. I don’t have to be like someone else, do I? Ranulf: Why are you so confident? I don’t get it. Normal beorc just do what people tell them and try not to make a fuss. But not you. I heard you even yelled at the apostle! Ike: Yeah, that wasn’t my brightest moment. Ranulf: Then again, worrying about a beorc like this is definitely not normal laguz behavior. I guess I’m a fish out of water myself… Wait, did I just call myself a fish? Ike: Wha–? Ha ha! You’re a cat, remember!? I thought you ate fish. Ha ha ha!

Okay, that last bit isn’t relevant, but I just want to highlight that while Timerra and Fogado talk about how serious Ike is compared to them, they would definitely enjoy his secret love of bad puns. Here’s a bit of Timerra’s own sardonic humor that brings Ike to mind:

Alear: What?! How do you eat that much?! Timerra: Oh, you know. Open my mouth, bite, chew. I won’t bore you with all the details.

Of course I have to mention their love of meat, even if I don’t find that to be an important part of Ike’s character. What I will say is that Ike is shown in his supports with Oscar to have a genuine appreciation for artful cooking, so I think it’s neat that Timerra is one of the best cooks in the army. It’s also endearing that she feels bad for cooking around Ike when he can’t eat, though he tells Fogado the smell is enough.

Next, I want to talk about a couple of characters who aren’t in Engage: Mist and Elincia. I adore that the focus on Timerra protecting Ike flips his dynamic with both of these ladies on its head. Speaking of protection…I believe that Mist and Ike’s relationship mirrors Timerra and Fogado’s, with their fond, casual banter. It makes sense, since both duos are close in age.

Interestingly, despite Timerra being Fogado’s older sister, he is as protective of her as Ike is toward Mist. In Fogado’s case, he seems to almost see himself as Timerra’s retainer, given that he will one day be her advisor. He travels around to prepare himself for this role. Timerra, however, doesn’t always like this, as she wishes they could hang out more and that he would be more candid with her. While they’re clearly close, the distance still leaves her lonely.

Though it’s a different situation, Greil’s death puts Ike in the role of Mist’s protector at the same time that he gains dangerous responsibilities. He also takes it upon himself to get revenge on their father’s killer. She stresses that she does not want him to do these things if it means she’ll lose him, too, and as the game goes on, they lose some of the lighthearted dynamic they had at the game’s start. Having already lost her parents, it’s easy to assume Mist feels lonely in this circumstance. She even has her own protective streak toward Ike, such as in her battle conversations with the Black Knight and Ashnard. Like Timerra, Mist wants to stay close to her loved ones and protect them, and she joins the fighting to that end, even learning swordplay despite being a healer.

Despite their troubles, Mist and Timerra share a bubbly personality. They tend toward optimism and try to hide their cares them. Their sunniness gets them and others through tough situations. However, those around them still want to be able to support them even when struggle with being vulnerable.

In my opinion, some of Mist’s designs evoke Timerra’s, such as in the colors and flowing accessories. While the clothes aren’t super similar, I think the two of them would definitely enjoy going clothes shopping together. I also think they’d like to sing together. Timerra’s silly songs may be a far cry from the galdr that Mist and Elena safeguard, but that would suit Mist just fine.  

Possibly my favorite character to compare Timerra to, though, is Elincia. Timerra’s bangs and the fact that her hair is tied up even follow in the character design traditions of Elincia and other characters in her archetype, such as Nyna and Guinevere. Granted, Timerra’s ponytail is a lot looser than those other characters, which is an excellent design choice as she has a much more free-spirited personality.

Still, Elincia once upon a time was not so different. She grew up in secret, frolicking in the countryside with no expectation of becoming queen. As a result, she did many things most princesses didn’t do, such as chores, horseback riding, and sword fighting. It’s commented many times that due to cultural differences as well as Timerra’s own personality, her lifestyle and activities are often at odds with what others expect from a princess. While their allies might find both princesses strange at times, they end up trusting and supporting them due to their approachable natures.

Elincia is shown to have a playful streak in PoR when she is reunited with her retainers, around whom she feels comfortable enough to drop her more stately personality. On the flip side, while Timerra is more frequently playful, she never forgets her role. Even her more casual supports show this, such as when she susses out Ivy’s weakness during a camping trip, or interrupts a training session with Diamant to ask if he believes peace is possible. Many of her exploration quotes show this as well, with her referencing the other nations’ politics and even in her response if her allies die.

“My brother, my stewards…gone. It’s so cruel. But as the future queen, I will not crumble!”

Elincia and Timerra’s upbringings contrast with each other, since Timerra has always known she would be queen. Her free-spirited nature stems from Solm’s ideals and the role of its government. After Daein invades, Elincia has to travel incognito, giving her a chance to learn about the world. She develops a strong desire to protect her people. The endpoint of her character development in PoR is where Timerra is already at when we are introduced to her—Timerra has been training and traveling incognito and is ready to defend her country. Regardless of where they start, Elincia’s compassion and resolve are reflected in Timerra, who only wants to make her people happy and believes the best way to do that is to get to know them, so she can better understand and protect them.

The games’ plots present challenges that test both characters’ resolve. While Elincia has to make a variety of decisions, the one I want to highlight comes at the end of RD part 2, when Lucia is taken hostage. Elincia is told that Lucia will die unless she gives up the throne to a usurper. However, she refuses. Despite the sacrifice of someone dear to her, she will never give up on protecting Crimea. In the end, both Lucia and Crimea are safe, but it has nonetheless been demonstrated what Elincia would do under that pressure.  

I thought of this when I got to one of my favorite moments in Engage, when Timerra and co. have to take back the palace from the Elusians. Hortensia holds her mother hostage, assuming Timerra will bend and hand over the Emblem rings. However, doing so would doom Solm along with the rest of the world. Timerra refuses to back down, and she saves her family along with her country.

[ID: Five screencaps alternating between RD and Engage. Elincia and Timerra look resolved, while Lucia and Seforia as hostages look on proudly. Elincia: But I will see Crimea through this trial. I will give my people the future they deserve, no matter the cost. Timerra: So threaten us all you want. Take my whole family hostage, if it makes you happy. Timerra: But I stand for Solm, and I always will. Lucia: People of Crimea... Behold a true queen! YOUR queen! Long live Queen Elincia! Seforia: There she is, the future queen of Solm. And her ally, the Divine Dragon.]

Back to characters who are in Engage: the other Tellius Emblems. As with Elincia, Micaiah is presented with a series of trolley problems throughout RD. There’s a big focus in the Tellius games on making decisions for personal vs. political reasons, and whether to prioritize a loved one/a situation that is right in front of you over the bigger picture, and I think this is most complex with Micaiah’s story. This is highlighted when Sothe is held hostage and she is told to stand down to save him. This recalls the situation I already discussed with Timerra.

Like Timerra, Micaiah is a tactical thinker who has to foresee long-term plans as well as use strategic approaches in situations where she’s outnumbered. Micaiah ends RD as Daein’s queen, despite not being brought up for that role and having traveled in disguise, getting to know and love Daein’s people. Again, this fits with Timerra traveling around incognito and being passionate about protecting Solm.

Timerra expresses that Solm didn’t reach out for help when Sombron returned because they’d have to return other nations’ support when it was taking all of their efforts just to keep Solm safe. This brings to mind Micaiah’s conflicts, as she has to make difficult decisions to protect Daein from Begnion’s occupation and the blood pact, which sometimes involves rejecting outside help when a situation is too complicated, such as in her 3-13 battle talk with Ike.

Unfortunately, Emblem bond supports don’t have the scope for these sorts of complexities. However, I was tickled by the fact that Timerra invites Micaiah to sing with her, as a reference again to the Galdrs.

Speaking of bond supports…I don’t have anything deep to say about Timerra and Soren, but just look at how precious they are:

[ID: Two Emblem Bond screencaps. Soren is bowing with his hand over his heart, and he and Timerra are smiling at each other. Soren: You’re the princess of Solm, is that right? I thank you for protecting Ike. Timerra: He’s told me so much about you. I expect big things from you, talented advisor!]

Her careful approach to protecting Ike’s ring won the trust of someone with deep trust issues and a protective streak toward Ike, aww. They’re friends in my files every time. It’s also sweet that she wants to understand him and Ike better by learning about the mercenaries. I know she loves her moodier Emblem pals, but I’m sure she’d feel right at home with the whole rambunctious crew, like how Ike felt at home in Solm.

While this post is long enough without going into depth on Yunaka, as Micaiah’s guardian she also has a combination of Tellius influences, between her obvious parallels to Yune and Sothe as well as some of the themes of Micaiah’s character. Micaiah’s introduction, with her calling out to Yunaka, even mirrors Micaiah hearing Yune’s voice. For these reasons, I really wish she and Timerra had talked. I think Timerra’s simultaneous hidden wariness and acceptance of people regardless of their backgrounds would definitely play well with Yunaka’s arc. Fogado, as someone who shares Timerra’s ideals, certainly had a positive influence on Yunaka in their supports with his compassion. Plus, can you imagine the silly phrases Timerra and Yunaka would invent together?

I’ll end this before it strays too far from the main point, but I hope someone else enjoys these observations! Timerra is my favorite Engage character, and since Tellius is so dear to me, noticing these connections definitely made her character even more special.