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acourtofquestions · 2 months ago

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Kingdom of Ash Chapters 8-9:

Chapter 8:

“Gone. Or had never been. But it had felt real…”

I think this is the worst part. She doesn’t know.

And this one haunts her… haunts Fenrys… the flames

“More so than the other memories that pressed in, demanding she acknowledge them. Accept them.”

She won’t accept them. The ones that aren’t real.

And the pain knowing she’s still fighting it. Even now.

The way she says “perhaps they’d melted away in the brazier” like she did too

And the worst part the move

Help how is “Fenrys the size of a pony” somehow cute and almost cheery to mer

The worst part is Maas skipped the first months because she’s here having you watch her break… when she is already worn.

“Run. Now.”

Then the gods whispered… why then?

“Along with that strange gift of his to leap between short distances, as if he were moving from one room to another. She'd long since lost hope he'd find some way to use it, to bear them away from here. She doubted he'd miraculously reclaim the ability, should the guard's sword strike.”

How does Fenrys powers work?

“Yet if she heeded that voice, if she ran, was the cost of his life worth her own? "You're debating it, aren't you," Cairn hissed in her ear. She could feel his smile even through the sack blinding her. "If the wolf's life is a fair cost to get away." A lover's laugh. "Try it. See how far you get. We've a few minutes of walking left." She ignored him. Ignored that voice whispering to run, run, run.”

Too long it’s been too long

“Rasping for breath, the mist fading away to cool night air. Sweet smells. Flowers.”

“Flowers still existed. In this world, this hell, flowers bloomed somewhere.”

The flowers line made me cry… this is why I paint… artists make flowers

The hood flickering… like a TOG paralell but worse… not a kind prince but an evil queen

And Fenrys signal his need to signal

SHED BEEN THERE IN HOF OH OW FULL CIRCLE FUUUUCCCKKKKKK

What is it with that damned owl? Please be a savior owl?

“Only one wolf sprawled at her feet this time. Black as night, as the queen’s eyes”

Foreshadowing… but it’s literally shadows???

“A terrible surprising weight”

“A different sort of shackle. As it had always been.”

Thorns

"Mab's crown," Maeve said. "Your crown, by blood and birthright. Her true Heir."

SO ITS TRUE… wait with Maeve being Valg… is she the only true heir now?

THE REALLY FULL (& circle) HEIR OF FIRE

“Aelin of the Wildfire”

Does the capitalized “W” mean anything?

“Breathe-breathing was key, was vital. She pulled her mind out, away, inhaling and exhaling. A wave sweeping back from the shore, then returning.”

“She drifted further back, away. Each breath tugged her out to sea, to a place where words and feelings and pain became a distant shore.”

This broke my heart as someone with chronic pain & a reallly shitty childhood cause that’s literally what you’re told to do.

But Fenrys kept her there for him

This is worse than UTM

There once was a princess

NOT YET… the same words from the beach…

"Aelin Fire-Bringer, wearing her proper Faerie Queen's crown at last. Kneeling at my feet."

Faerie Queen

“but without the wildness, without the mischief shining from his face.”

The black wolf gave no blinking code

Did he really speak freely or was it a lie?

Why we love Fenrys

Twin knives for the twin he was about to lose and the one that died too

“Fenrys's dark eyes shot toward her. He blinked four times. She could not bring herself to blink back. Her fingers curled and uncurled in her lap.”

The mannerism habit Rowan later holds… the words that break all their hearts

“Fenrys bared his teeth, even as something like grief dimmed his stare. Another burning wave washed through her knees, across her thighs. Aelin closed her eyes against it. She would endure this, would bear down on this. Her people had suffered for ten years. Were likely suffering now. For their sake, she would do this. Embrace it. Outlast it.”

I’m still reading so maybe I’ll change my mind but this is why I hate Darrow because he made her think like this

Also once again Terrasen & Endure the two words always intertwined with the lost children

Hurry Rowan

Something like grief lines always kill me

How dare you Connall how about Aedion and Lys come and destroy you for that comment before you join a new cadre hmm?? — Fuck this annotation did not age well in 2 pages

The foreign queen remark… mmmm… how dare you? Yeah, Nope!

“Fenrys snarled, and the sound must have been some secret language between them, because Connall snorted. "Leave? Why would I ever want to leave? And for what? That?" Even with her eyes shut, Aelin knew he pointed toward her. "No, Fenrys. I will not leave. And neither will you."”

Another secret language

And he tries to save his life save hers and he doesn’t go

Maeve was too cruel she wouldn’t even let him die she’d do much worse… why??? What did Fenrys do for this??? NOTHING. THATS WHAT! It’s who that’s the problem and UGH I HATE HER DAMN YOU VALG MAEVE

Her just flipping Maeve off (I love Aelin)

"An account that you were currently in Terrasen, readying the little army you gathered for war. You, and Prince Rowan, and my two disgraced warriors. Along with your usual group."

Dammit that guy reported back didn’t he

The moment she thinks he isn’t coming… why does she believe it? Is it because the lie would be too close to the truth? Or the time? Or her self worth? Or hoping he’s safe? Oh my heart this is brutal no no nooo ROWAN HURRY I KNOW UR TRYING BUT BABE RUN NOW LISTEN TO ELIDE DAMMIT

“Aelin hadn't realized she'd been holding on to it. That sliver of hope, foolish and pathetic. That sliver of hope that he'd come for her. She had told him not to, after all. Had told him to protect Terrasen. Had arranged everything for him to make a desperate stand against Morath. "Useful, to have a shape-shifter to play your part as queen," Maeve mused. "Though I wonder how long the ruse can last without your special gifts to incinerate Morath's legions. How long until the allies you collected start asking why the Fire-Bringer does not burn."”

Hope is never foolish

The firebringer that does not burn

The breaks just get worse as they fracture more every single time like glass under her soul

“Rowan had gone with them. They'd all gone to the North. And had reached Terrasen. A small mercy. A small mercy, and yet ...”

“The glass around her sparkled in the mist and moonlight, her blood a thick stain wending through it.”

Not this as the mental image for throne of glass

What do you want from the world then Valg queen bitch? — but also you’ll never be my bitch queen… she’s just a bitch! *john Mulaney voice*

Back to the days of tea and courts… I miss them

“The glass, the blood, the veranda and moonlight eddied in her vision.”

“There were no gods to save her. Not really.”

No Rowan… no no nooooooooooo

Rock and water and no flames

“Alone. She was alone in this. It would be of no use to beg the white wolf to help her.”

I am here I am with you

Endure; outlast-

Wait there were dragons?

What are wyverns then?

“Other fire-wielders—hunted and killed.”

Whyyyy????

“She didn't know why she felt it then. That shred of sorrow for creatures that had not existed for untold centuries. Who would never again be seen on this earth. Why it made her so unspeakably sad. Why it mattered at all, when her very blood was shrieking in agony.”

No one can ever call her selfish to me again

“Aelin couldn't stop the shaking that overtook her, the brutal numbness. Deep, deep, she drifted It did not matter if Rowan wasn't coming. If the others had obeyed her wishes to fight for Terrasen. She would save it in her own way, too. For as long as she could. She owed Terrasen that much. Would never fully repay that debt.”

“From far away, the words echoed, and memory shimmered.”

Her father this time

THE SHIELD

"To defend, Aelin. To protect."

Then her mother with the yield quote

Once Rowan’s words had left her

“She had nodded, not understanding. And her father had kissed her brow, as if he half hoped she'd never need to.”

“No sound remained in her for screaming.”

The most painful lines… The psychology here is so accurate it’s painful and ugh how why this writing owwww my soul it’s just literally painful and nauseating

“No. The word was a cold clang through her. Her lips even formed it as she jerked against the chains, lines of liquid fire shooting along her legs.”

HOLY GODS IF FENRYS FUCKING DIES IM GOING TO LOSE IT

No like what she’d said to Arobynn for Sam the memory in the word

“Fenrys. Her only tether to life, to this reality”

Aelin’s line said it right

She screamed for Fenrys… she broke her silence for him

“The owl on Maeve's throne flapped its wings once, as if in horror.”

Is the owl Silba or something? Maybe it’s not evil? But stuck? Elena… Mala… something… someone? Mab? Mora?

Is Maeve even her name or just a rhyme (dumb thought I know but this chapter killed my brain)

“Real. This was real. It had to be.”

… I did not expect that to somehow be worse

Maeve sounds like Arobynn

The white wolf… pure… dark…

“Connalls heart could mend—”

I hate her… Maeve… has there ever been a more thought out villain?

“She let herself lie there, half sprawled. Let the crown tumble off her head and skitter across the floor, dragon-glass spraying where it bounced. Bounced, then rolled, curving across the veranda. All the way to the stone railing. And into the roaring, hateful river below.”

Rolfe bring the dragons back please

"There is no one here to help you." Maeve's voice was as empty as the gaps between stars.”

Stars😭

WHAT PRICE AGAIN?

"And there is no one coming for you."

LIAR!!!!

“Aelin's fingers curled in the ancient glass”

Perfect aim (again TAB circle)

“She barely felt it, barely felt it through the rage and the sea of fire down deep, deep below.”

YES FERAL AELIN RAGE RUN GIRL RUN

No…. Shiiittttt. No.

Please tell me Cairn is dead?

Fuck.

“Black blood. As dark as night. As dark as the eyes that the queen fixed on her, a hand rising to her cheek.”

AELIN KNOWS

“A trick of the light. A hallucination, another dream. Maeve peered at the crimson stain coating her pale fingers. An onyx wind snapped for Aelin, wrapping around her neck. It squeezed, and she knew no more.”

DID THEY JUST WIPE HER MEMORY

What the hell are these chapters SARAH😭

Chapter 9:

ITS FENRYS😭 as Fenrys😭 OH WHY DOES THIS HURT SO MUCH

“Beyond words, unsure her throat would even work, Aelin blinked three times. Are you all right? Two blinks answered. No.”

The fact he answer No for once😭

Am I okay? The answer is also NO!

“Lingering salt tracks streaked his cheeks.”

Normal writers: he had been crying. SJM: ⬆️

“Silently, he slid his hand into hers.”

One hand reached out😭☠️

“She mouthed the words, even though he likely couldn't make them out with the slit of the mask's mouth. I'm sorry.”

He knows it’s not her and it kills him even more like the later hug

Okay so Maeve is officially the worst ever

AELIN WEEPS FOR ROWAN😭🖤💀

“Let him stay in this form for a while longer, let him mourn as a male and not a wolf. Let him stay in this form so she could hear a friendly voice, feel a gentle touch—”

SHE LITERALLY IS KEEPING GLASS UNDER HER SKIN TO GIVE HIM A MOMENT OF REPRIEVE

“She began to cry. She couldn't help it. Couldn't stop it once it started. Hated every tear and shuddering breath,”

No Rowan lightening

“And she couldn't tell him, couldn't start to explain that it wasn't the glass, the shredded skin down to the bone.”

“He wasn't coming. He wasn't coming to get her.”

HE WASNT COMING

“She should be glad. Should be relieved. She was relieved. And yet ... and yet …”

He didn’t know why she wept

What Maeve is

Does Aelin even?

It hurt them both😭 the wounds reopening over and over

“Neither of them said a word.”

And the scar disappears🫥

#first read #read with me #read along #read with me cry with me #KoA spoilees #Kingdom of Ash spoilers #no spoilers please #Chapter 8 #Chapter 9 #Kingdom of Ash #Siri don’t fail me now I’m just speaking as I read😂😭#Sarah J. Maas #KoA #SJM #TOG #TOG series #Aelin chapter #Aelin Ashryver Galathynius #Fenrys #Fenyrs Moonbeam #kill me now oh wait you already did #fangirl having problems cause fangirling for this is a problem I love them too much ur honor #SARAHHHHHHHHHH seriously like the ow in Sarah #puts the AHHH in Sarah #I said that wrong but brain work no more #as much as I wanna do fan art per chapter these ones hurt too much like I’ve never bawled with a character so much #when she called it throne of glass I didn’t need this #then the crown full circle after a few weeks months later #the lost children of Terrasen #the white wolf

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silly-lil-scribbles · 11 days ago

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geesussss can my brain chill out maybe like at this point people arent even doing anything im pretty sure its just pretending something is off so i can start panicking about if someone hates me and im not enough and they will leave and i am the worst person ever because of this. why. dude. please. nothing happened. why do you even do this. and worse why the fuck do i still believe you every time no matter what

#come on man theyre probabaly like. tired. or stressed. people are a little off sometimes this is normal. what is wrong with you #i cant even tell if anything i think is happening is real at this point are they talking to me less or am i just being more ofa needy bitch #like. i know my brain is probably overreacting but i still believe it for some reason? hard to explain my stuff works wrong and its confusin #i hate this #i feel bad asking for reassurance too #i shouldnt need that i should be able to just beleive people care about me #its not like im not being told that im loved or anything its just that its somehow still not enough #and i get anxious every time i get a text because what if this is finally it maybe they have decided they hate me #maybe i said something wrong?

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lunarrosette · 6 months ago

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My mutual @writertyozzie123 asked for me to expand so now I will

Nark still wouldn’t work in a non forgotten realms world! This isn’t like some sort of dramatic doomed gays that they are to me in canon they’re mostly just not compatible. This is also taking from the angle of just how all the kids were in ep 1 so the way to the soccer game pre-any development that happens in the podcast and not assuming they’d follow similar arcs in just everyday life. So we’re using Nick Close characterization ONLY! But obvs still including characterization from the podcast bc that’s what we get so like this is what I believe they’d be like in a no forgotten realms world, so if u disagree fair enough!

Basically it boils down to me that lark in confrontational and nick is avoidant. Lark shown to take most issues head on unless he is certain he would fail and even then he doesn’t typically run away from or avoid them but instead uses whatever he has to give himself leverage. He’s smart and a little cunning and an instigator and a little shit! Nick has issues with avoidance especially emotionally. He typically distracts himself to avoid his issues or makes “white” lies to “fix” whatever issue he’s in. (Like the battle axe and wanting to ditch the other dads [which is why there quotations over white bc what not an insignificant lie]) And Nick is a people pleaser but he’s a cool people pleaser ya know bc he’s trying to make his dad think he’s cool. Basically, Lark would be a chaotic little shit and would probably annoy Nick but (in this hypothetical where they are dating so Nick is being a people pleaser to Lark) he would act like it’s nothing and never talk abt this issue, unless it came to a head. And when Lark catches Nick in a lie he will directly confront Nick who would likely avoid this or lie in a way that would “make lark happy” but lark would probably keep prodding at this issue until Nick snaps. Like two magnets pushing away! Basically they have major communication issues!! To me it’s like two people who are fine but both have shit they need to work on but they are just not compatible for each other

However Nicholas Foster and Lark!? They could work a little better? Most bc of the nature of the origin of Nicholas’s people pleasing he doesn’t care much abt social coolness but coolness to his dad which would lend itself more likely for a break away (like a teenage rebellious phase) from this and lark being this weird smart chaotic kid Nicholas has known for years (and who was a dickhead) and is a kid Nicholas knows and could be someone that could be a “bad influence” and maybe someday an actual friend. Basically they’re a little more likely to be compatible bc Nicholas does feel as much of a social pressure in school as nick so it would be easier for Nicholas to break out of people pleasing as unlike nick he’d be less scared of losing like all of his friends bc he’s no longer cool bc he was never cool

#dndads #dungeons and daddies #lark oak garcia #nick close #Nicholas foster #nark #nark nation #I feel like i phrased this like nick is the ‘big issue’ in the relationship #but that’s very wrong #bc lark is also an instigator #and would probably provoke nick or start issues bc he’s a little shit #or bc he wants to find out what would happen #basically like I said they’re both mentally ill in ways that would hurt the other so they could maybe be friends #and I very much want nark to work in a non forgotten realms world #I think like if they followed more mundane experiences that still shape them to be like they are by the end #they could maybe work #but maybe I’m just delusional #also I don’t think Nicholas and lark would really work well long term #bc lark is still an instigator in a lot of ways so unless they both help each other grow out of their issues #they should honestly just stay friends #lunarrosette’s shit #sorry if this makes no sense it’s been something microwaving in my brain and this is the best I can explain it #bc I’m trying to transfer a nark fic I wrote to a basically non forgotten realms world #also divorcing it from dndads so I can submit it to my school potentially

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wayfinderships · 6 months ago

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Good morning gamers!! Hope you all have a good day today! :> As for me, I am thinking about my two L.ord of the rings crushes-

#pan rambles #Panchi finish the first movie challenge-#I'll try to finish it today!!#Also I'm in that odd phase of the crush where I'm a little insecure about it-afjsbfkdjfk #Alas it always happens and it always fades away once I develop my s/is and such more #So thank you to the pals who hear me talking about said crushed while I'm still figuring out everything about them <3 #Also another reason I'm a lil insecure is just because my brain is like “This could never work as a Polyship”#and I say that's wrong!! It can work and I'll make it work-#Also Also I think it's really funny how quickly some of y'all have guessed who those two are-afksnfkd #Those two really describe my Two Types so well

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pumaskulls · 6 months ago

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they are pair bonded,,,,,cannot be separated,,,, @fayooweh

(and you can request which OCs of mine i doodle for pride month next here!)

#my art #my ocs #digital art #procreate #oc: kirsen pinewynn #oc: lucida cyprius #os: entrails of the animals #doodles #pride art #side effect of finishing an entire book about these two....#is that now im so used to writing them being near one another that i cant draw one by themself #without going 'this is WRONG where is their LOVE'#anyways i should go work on editing said book more since theyre on the brain

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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months ago

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...

#it's an old frustration. an old pattern of thought.#i just feel that i have a brain that doesn't hold information. that lacks the discipline to gain knowledge. that is incapable of deeper #thought. and i cant teel you how maddening that is. to sit in a room and listen to other people discuss a paper you read in depth 5 times #like it's the 1st time you ever heard anything about it. how is that possible? how do i work with that? i read and nothing sticks.#nothing stays with me. how??? i was talking to a prof recently who ive heard is hard on her students with disability accommodation. and she #was saying how she doesnt see these things as a disability. how we're just different not disabled. ive heard the phrase differently abled #a lot of times. and i get what she's saying. i do. ad i get why she's hard on them. she wants to push them. but there comes a point where #you are quote unquote differently abled and you run into a wall that other people dont have. then what are you supposed to do? work harder?#but what if that doesn't help? what if that just compounds the hurt that's always been there? what if that leaches away all the wonder? what #then? at what point does a thing become too much of a barrier? i think there's a reason i dont run into many other dyslexic grad student.#everyone has adhd. it's a place where those with adhd prosper. but dyslexia not so much. at least not with the level of hanicap i have #and everyone's really nice. they want to help. but there's nothing anyone can do for me at this stage. it's up to me to compensate for my #leaky head. and i kno im not stupid. ive got a piece of paper stating my iq is above average after correcting for uneven intelligence. but #i dont feel very smart most of the time. i feel more like my uncorrected iq score that comes out at just below average even with me trying #my very best. iq is bullshit but there's something to be said for that gap. im smart if unconstrained by language and time. but were bound #by language and we're bound by time so what am i supposed to do? is there anything i can do? im stuck with this forever. theres no getting #better or making it easier. my brain is wired in a way that gives me the reading skills of a child. forever. and i just have to accept that #and im trying to swallow around that idea easier because the only other option is to choke on it. but maybe i chose the wrong career path.#one of my lab mates said she wants challenges all the time and ive chosen a path that's challenges all the time but im jsut trying to do #what everyone else can without a second thought. it's deeply demoralizing. yet here i am. trying to be easier abt it.#maybe im just nit cut out for this. doing a job im not built for.#unrelated

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shirogane-oushirou · 25 days ago

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no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.

i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.

[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!

also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]

#goddd my family finds it sooooooo funny that i can't do basic tasks! it's soooo funny that i can't even think of a horror movie to watch #on halloween bc i genuinely can't remember a single one right now. it's soooo funny that i can't take cardboard boxes or #old furniture out of my room without help bc i've physically and mentally and emotionally burnt out for Months.#and me not being able to move shit out after two (2) days makes me a hoarder somehow. and ofc hoarding is a moral failing #and my mom has to give me a stern talking-to about hoarding things... that were. again. in my room for 2 days....#[tbc it isnt a moral failing no matter the reason. life is hard and things happen and it can be hard to get rid of things for Reasons.]#nevermind them making constant snide remarks about me using ugly 'mismatched' desk / storage furniture. bc it was free / cheap? no income??#AND!!!!! i have a couple of new diagnoses. which doesn't change much day to day but it does make my family making fun of me #even more dumbfounding. like. this explains a lot of really scary unexplained symptoms that constantly leave me #housebound for weeks but uhhh haha hehe hoho??? so silly so funny that i'm barely conscious for multiple weeks???#and you can see that i'm getting worse but that makes it funnier??? hmm!!!#also nevermind that i've told them the exact reason why i've been like this (read: them) but that ALSO makes it funnier somehow.#but i also can't say shit bc they're doing something ~nice~ for me (out of convenience + after almost a decade of 'don't get comfortable'#and 'don't decorate this room bc it isn't yours' and 'you need to be ready to move out by x date'#only for the date to arrive and them to pull the 'i never said that. and if i did say it i didn't mean it like that.#and if i did mean it like that i don't anymore.' card. + any big renovations are things they wanted anyway. hmmmm!!#and how i have to do all of the phys labor alone bc if i ask for help i get made fun of!!! and yelled at that i'm doing things Wrong #(hint: i'm following instructions to the letter but. my family knows better than those silly things!! ^^ ))#jfc i sure did rant. uh. yeah. things. are really weird and uncomfy and i feel thankful that i finally can have my own things on display #outside of closets and bins again after a decade?? but i'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop / them to tell me i owe them in #some way??? bc that's how it works. 'i'm doing a nice thing you didn't even ask me for so now you have to do whatever i tell you to.'#meanwhile i can't even maladaptive daydream my way through it bc my brain is soup right now. can't remember basic things abt #my interests bc i've been on negative battery / spoons for a couple of months straight and it's only getting worse.#OKAY TLDR i'm not in a state to do anything until everything irl gets settled. and i'm trying So Hard to get it all over with but there's #only so much i can do in a day before i completely shut down. i didn't even get into the insurance stuff i've been fighting too ughhhh.#so if i show up on here in short spurts -- hi! bye! hi!! i wuv and care u!!! hope youre well mwah mwah!!!!!!! i'll post what i can and then #disappear when i need to recharge. it is what it is. i need to try to sleep now... uh if this post disappears when i wake up.... yeah......#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#vent -

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anotherdayforchaosfay · 1 year ago

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I folded laundry fresh outta the dryer tonight!!! I had folded a couple of big shirts for myself, but then got into A Zone because ADHD. If I walked away or sat down, the folding wouldn't happen. Seeing as I just had dinner and won't be able to lay down comfortably*, I opted for just folding laundry.

I FOLDED LAUNDRY!!!

Two big loads, another in the dryer, and one more that needs drying.

My ADHD let me fold laundry. Just...wow. Folks with ADHD will know how amazing this is.

Now it's late, and I get up early**, so time for sleep. I hope I can fold the last loads tomorrow. That would be fucking impressive.

#chaosfay talks #*I have GERD and can't take meds for it. the meds do something that makes my seizure medicine not work. the seizure med #comes out more or less looking the same as it did when i took the med. this means my body wasn't doing anything with the pills. i was #basically getting no seizure meds at all. i was on the GERD med for a week before i said fuck this i don't wanna die. any other med that #treats it will likely have the same effect. plus the diarrhea was very unpleasant. i trained myself to sleep on my left side and back to #keep the heartburn from happening and fucking with my asthma. if you have heartburn and find yourself coughing a lot #especially when you lay down the coughing is caused by your stomach acid getting into your trachea/windpipe. this is very bad.#laying on the left pinches the stomach closed. avoid laying on your right especially if you have a full belly. i've found it also helps to #go for a walk to do some upright physical activity to help with digestion and reduce trapped gas. if my heartburn is especially bad i drink #sodium bicarbonate in water (recipe is on the baking soda box) and my dr gave me the okay for it. it's basically baking soda poured into #vinegar but less violent and consideable burping. never do this with a full stomach because it can really fuck you up.#**i accidentally took my seizure med in the morning because i kept reminding myself to take my vitamins and my brain went into #autopilot and i grabbed the wrong med. rather than correct this i opted to get up early. my med requires i have food in my belly and #that means i must eat. sooooo i get up at around 8AM. i'm starting ADHD med soon (#my insurance refused to cover the first med my dr)#my adhd med has to be taken in thr morning and again at mid-day so again i need to get up early. my dr suggested i have nothing to eat #because citric acid/vitamin c cancels out adhd meds. so empty belly for an hour before and an hour after. 8AM and then around noon.

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honeyboyfelix · 3 months ago

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playing a lying liar who lies in dnd is all fun and games until someone wants something from u that you lied about knowing but dont know anything about and its like well.... guess ill go fake my death while im at it

#:)#i cant sleep cause apparently after months my brain decided it was gonna overthink dnd today #anyway my plan to get out of the lie is to lie more which um.... im sure itll work #going the 'youre crazy i never said that' is not the first route id usually take #but apparently 5am brain said this isthe plan #i trust 5am no sleep brain #im sure nothing will go wrong here #tbh playing a half fae who just lies so.... so much is very fun #like i think its one of their most consistent character traits agshehshdhd #corri lies for fun and for work #sometimes this character giving me big feels #half fae half elf half caster half martial fighter #constantly in the middle not fully welcome on either side #so of COURSE theyre two faced and vague about things pertaining to themself #yesterday i called them a borzoi: silly noodle doggy whos actually a very scary guard dog #ugh i need to show u guys my horrible corrigan photoshops #made one of the afformentioned borzoi but i also have a roach corrigan in the same genre #cause of course my silly fae wizard is also the party TANK #:)))))))

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fireheartedpup · 3 months ago

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3 7 17!!!

Hi!!

A song you’d choose to introduce someone to your favorite genre:

Uhhhh. I used to use Wanna Talk About Me to convince people country isn't that bad. It worked.

This is how I was introduced to it btw:

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These days I'm more likely to recommend someone like Darius Rucker (Wagon Wheel, it was all over every popular radio station here a few years back) because uhhh I am not a conservative Christian anymore. It's been. Interesting. I hate it, honestly. I'm glad I know better now, but believing in something was simpler.

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I was thinking the other day. That the fact that I don't want to let go of things like this is probably related to how the church told me to get rid of everything "demonic." I got rid of some comic books I loved because of that. They burned a tapestry I got on a mission trip (while we were still on the trip) because of that.

I don't want to burn it. I want to keep what it means to me and leave the bad shit behind.

Anyway. I don't know if most people know that Darius Rucker is black. I keep meaning to build a list of black country musicians, because they get a lot of flack from racists.

I don't actually have a favorite genre. This one is just inextricably linked with my upbringing.

A song you know every word to:

I'm slowly memorizing most of Dessa's discography, I think. Very thankful for the person who introduced me to The Bullpen.

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Yes, it's Marvel. The editing is great. Shh.

Dessa has this line in Dutch that says

"I keep Pope in glovebox, Plath on the dash"

I think that's a good way to summarize her writing. There's a play on words every other line. It's the sort of shit I could probably write essays about. I love her.

You kind of have to be in a specific mental place to appreciate her, I think. I wasn't ready for her at first when another blogger on here started mentioning her. Most of her lyrics are kinda moody and jaded. It felt oppressive until I got sad enough.

She tried to write an upbeat song and came out with something melancholy. She kept trying and came up with one of my favorites, and she's still comparing love to a business transaction. I'm obsessed with her.

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"Sealed with a kiss, signed with an epipen

You gotta tolerate some risk if you wanna make a margin

Wanna make a friend? We can live a little large and split the dividends"

Listening to an album feels like reading a book. I like to mix it up most of the time, but sometimes it's time to just listen to a Dessa album again.

If anyone wants a simpler option, I sang Can't Help Falling in Love to myself at least three times today. There's a lot of options here, really.

A cover song:

Haley Reinhart's version of Benny and the Jets. First time I'd heard a woman growl. I want bucketfuls of this please. I'm not kidding, please give it to me

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#dessa has this one recording of a live performance where she's like 'yeah i had them scan my brain to see if i could ever stop being sad'#i think it's in her book but idk if I'm remembering correctly #i shouls see if i can check that out #'hadn't learned the word for melancholy yet' babygirl was depressed #i think that one is from children's work?..#her younger brother didn't speak for so long that her mom thought something was wrong #'dad said you'd be fine i thought you were the prophet of 1989'#if i go over every favorite dessa line I'm gonna be here all day #'laced drill bits to my pointe shoes #piroutte through the hardwood to hit paydirt'#'they say there's good grief but how can you tell it from the bad?' GOOD QUESTION #that one guts me #fire drills and and and and and #okay. okay. okay. I'm normal. alright.#asking games #i don't like the rest of haley's stuff as much because it's more polished tbh #gimme growly #GIMME #anyway #I'm pretty sure you weren't looking for country music recs with this #i wasn't really expecting to trigger the religious upbringing tripwire either #it is what it is.

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