#Fenyrs Moonbeam

[acourtofquestions]

Kingdom of Ash Chapters 8-9:

Chapter 8:

“Gone. Or had never been. But it had felt real…”

I think this is the worst part. She doesn’t know.

And this one haunts her… haunts Fenrys… the flames

“More so than the other memories that pressed in, demanding she acknowledge them. Accept them.”

She won’t accept them. The ones that aren’t real.

And the pain knowing she’s still fighting it. Even now.

The way she says “perhaps they’d melted away in the brazier” like she did too

And the worst part the move

Help how is “Fenrys the size of a pony” somehow cute and almost cheery to mer

The worst part is Maas skipped the first months because she’s here having you watch her break… when she is already worn.

“Run. Now.”

Then the gods whispered… why then?

“Along with that strange gift of his to leap between short distances, as if he were moving from one room to another. She'd long since lost hope he'd find some way to use it, to bear them away from here. She doubted he'd miraculously reclaim the ability, should the guard's sword strike.”

How does Fenrys powers work?

“Yet if she heeded that voice, if she ran, was the cost of his life worth her own? "You're debating it, aren't you," Cairn hissed in her ear. She could feel his smile even through the sack blinding her. "If the wolf's life is a fair cost to get away." A lover's laugh. "Try it. See how far you get. We've a few minutes of walking left." She ignored him. Ignored that voice whispering to run, run, run.”

Too long it’s been too long

“Rasping for breath, the mist fading away to cool night air. Sweet smells. Flowers.”

“Flowers still existed. In this world, this hell, flowers bloomed somewhere.”

The flowers line made me cry… this is why I paint… artists make flowers

The hood flickering… like a TOG paralell but worse… not a kind prince but an evil queen

And Fenrys signal his need to signal

SHED BEEN THERE IN HOF OH OW FULL CIRCLE FUUUUCCCKKKKKK

What is it with that damned owl? Please be a savior owl?

“Only one wolf sprawled at her feet this time. Black as night, as the queen’s eyes”

Foreshadowing… but it’s literally shadows???

“A terrible surprising weight”

“A different sort of shackle. As it had always been.”

Thorns

"Mab's crown," Maeve said. "Your crown, by blood and birthright. Her true Heir."

SO ITS TRUE… wait with Maeve being Valg… is she the only true heir now?

THE REALLY FULL (& circle) HEIR OF FIRE

“Aelin of the Wildfire”

Does the capitalized “W” mean anything?

“Breathe-breathing was key, was vital. She pulled her mind out, away, inhaling and exhaling. A wave sweeping back from the shore, then returning.”

“She drifted further back, away. Each breath tugged her out to sea, to a place where words and feelings and pain became a distant shore.”

This broke my heart as someone with chronic pain & a reallly shitty childhood cause that’s literally what you’re told to do.

But Fenrys kept her there for him

This is worse than UTM

There once was a princess

NOT YET… the same words from the beach…

"Aelin Fire-Bringer, wearing her proper Faerie Queen's crown at last. Kneeling at my feet."

Faerie Queen

“but without the wildness, without the mischief shining from his face.”

The black wolf gave no blinking code

Did he really speak freely or was it a lie?

Why we love Fenrys

Twin knives for the twin he was about to lose and the one that died too

“Fenrys's dark eyes shot toward her. He blinked four times. She could not bring herself to blink back. Her fingers curled and uncurled in her lap.”

The mannerism habit Rowan later holds… the words that break all their hearts

“Fenrys bared his teeth, even as something like grief dimmed his stare. Another burning wave washed through her knees, across her thighs. Aelin closed her eyes against it. She would endure this, would bear down on this. Her people had suffered for ten years. Were likely suffering now. For their sake, she would do this. Embrace it. Outlast it.”

I’m still reading so maybe I’ll change my mind but this is why I hate Darrow because he made her think like this

Also once again Terrasen & Endure the two words always intertwined with the lost children

Hurry Rowan

Something like grief lines always kill me

How dare you Connall how about Aedion and Lys come and destroy you for that comment before you join a new cadre hmm?? — Fuck this annotation did not age well in 2 pages

The foreign queen remark… mmmm… how dare you? Yeah, Nope!

“Fenrys snarled, and the sound must have been some secret language between them, because Connall snorted. "Leave? Why would I ever want to leave? And for what? That?" Even with her eyes shut, Aelin knew he pointed toward her. "No, Fenrys. I will not leave. And neither will you."”

Another secret language

And he tries to save his life save hers and he doesn’t go

Maeve was too cruel she wouldn’t even let him die she’d do much worse… why??? What did Fenrys do for this??? NOTHING. THATS WHAT! It’s who that’s the problem and UGH I HATE HER DAMN YOU VALG MAEVE

Her just flipping Maeve off (I love Aelin)

"An account that you were currently in Terrasen, readying the little army you gathered for war. You, and Prince Rowan, and my two disgraced warriors. Along with your usual group."

Dammit that guy reported back didn’t he

The moment she thinks he isn’t coming… why does she believe it? Is it because the lie would be too close to the truth? Or the time? Or her self worth? Or hoping he’s safe? Oh my heart this is brutal no no nooo ROWAN HURRY I KNOW UR TRYING BUT BABE RUN NOW LISTEN TO ELIDE DAMMIT

“Aelin hadn't realized she'd been holding on to it. That sliver of hope, foolish and pathetic. That sliver of hope that he'd come for her. She had told him not to, after all. Had told him to protect Terrasen. Had arranged everything for him to make a desperate stand against Morath. "Useful, to have a shape-shifter to play your part as queen," Maeve mused. "Though I wonder how long the ruse can last without your special gifts to incinerate Morath's legions. How long until the allies you collected start asking why the Fire-Bringer does not burn."”

Hope is never foolish

The firebringer that does not burn

The breaks just get worse as they fracture more every single time like glass under her soul

“Rowan had gone with them. They'd all gone to the North. And had reached Terrasen. A small mercy. A small mercy, and yet ...”

“The glass around her sparkled in the mist and moonlight, her blood a thick stain wending through it.”

Not this as the mental image for throne of glass

What do you want from the world then Valg queen bitch? — but also you’ll never be my bitch queen… she’s just a bitch! *john Mulaney voice*

Back to the days of tea and courts… I miss them

“The glass, the blood, the veranda and moonlight eddied in her vision.”

“There were no gods to save her. Not really.”

No

No Rowan… no no nooooooooooo

Rock and water and no flames

“Alone. She was alone in this. It would be of no use to beg the white wolf to help her.”

I am here I am with you

Endure; outlast-

Wait there were dragons?

What are wyverns then?

“Other fire-wielders—hunted and killed.”

Whyyyy????

“She didn't know why she felt it then. That shred of sorrow for creatures that had not existed for untold centuries. Who would never again be seen on this earth. Why it made her so unspeakably sad. Why it mattered at all, when her very blood was shrieking in agony.”

No one can ever call her selfish to me again

“Aelin couldn't stop the shaking that overtook her, the brutal numbness. Deep, deep, she drifted It did not matter if Rowan wasn't coming. If the others had obeyed her wishes to fight for Terrasen. She would save it in her own way, too. For as long as she could. She owed Terrasen that much. Would never fully repay that debt.”

“From far away, the words echoed, and memory shimmered.”

Her father this time

THE SHIELD

"To defend, Aelin. To protect."

Then her mother with the yield quote

Once Rowan’s words had left her

“She had nodded, not understanding. And her father had kissed her brow, as if he half hoped she'd never need to.”

“No sound remained in her for screaming.”

The most painful lines… The psychology here is so accurate it’s painful and ugh how why this writing owwww my soul it’s just literally painful and nauseating

“No. The word was a cold clang through her. Her lips even formed it as she jerked against the chains, lines of liquid fire shooting along her legs.”

HOLY GODS IF FENRYS FUCKING DIES IM GOING TO LOSE IT

No like what she’d said to Arobynn for Sam the memory in the word

“Fenrys. Her only tether to life, to this reality”

Aelin’s line said it right

She screamed for Fenrys… she broke her silence for him

“The owl on Maeve's throne flapped its wings once, as if in horror.”

Is the owl Silba or something? Maybe it’s not evil? But stuck? Elena… Mala… something… someone? Mab? Mora?

Is Maeve even her name or just a rhyme (dumb thought I know but this chapter killed my brain)

“Real. This was real. It had to be.”

… I did not expect that to somehow be worse

Maeve sounds like Arobynn

The white wolf… pure… dark…

“Connalls heart could mend—”

I hate her… Maeve… has there ever been a more thought out villain?

“She let herself lie there, half sprawled. Let the crown tumble off her head and skitter across the floor, dragon-glass spraying where it bounced. Bounced, then rolled, curving across the veranda. All the way to the stone railing. And into the roaring, hateful river below.”

Rolfe bring the dragons back please

"There is no one here to help you." Maeve's voice was as empty as the gaps between stars.”

Stars😭

WHAT PRICE AGAIN?

"And there is no one coming for you."

LIAR!!!!

“Aelin's fingers curled in the ancient glass”

Perfect aim (again TAB circle)

“She barely felt it, barely felt it through the rage and the sea of fire down deep, deep below.”

YES FERAL AELIN RAGE RUN GIRL RUN

No…. Shiiittttt. No.

Please tell me Cairn is dead?

Fuck.

“Black blood. As dark as night. As dark as the eyes that the queen fixed on her, a hand rising to her cheek.”

AELIN KNOWS

“A trick of the light. A hallucination, another dream. Maeve peered at the crimson stain coating her pale fingers. An onyx wind snapped for Aelin, wrapping around her neck. It squeezed, and she knew no more.”

DID THEY JUST WIPE HER MEMORY

What the hell are these chapters SARAH😭

Chapter 9:

ITS FENRYS😭 as Fenrys😭 OH WHY DOES THIS HURT SO MUCH

“Beyond words, unsure her throat would even work, Aelin blinked three times. Are you all right? Two blinks answered. No.”

The fact he answer No for once😭

Am I okay? The answer is also NO!

“Lingering salt tracks streaked his cheeks.”

Normal writers: he had been crying. SJM: ⬆️

“Silently, he slid his hand into hers.”

One hand reached out😭☠️

“She mouthed the words, even though he likely couldn't make them out with the slit of the mask's mouth. I'm sorry.”

He knows it’s not her and it kills him even more like the later hug

Okay so Maeve is officially the worst ever

AELIN WEEPS FOR ROWAN😭🖤💀

“Let him stay in this form for a while longer, let him mourn as a male and not a wolf. Let him stay in this form so she could hear a friendly voice, feel a gentle touch—”

SHE LITERALLY IS KEEPING GLASS UNDER HER SKIN TO GIVE HIM A MOMENT OF REPRIEVE

“She began to cry. She couldn't help it. Couldn't stop it once it started. Hated every tear and shuddering breath,”

No Rowan lightening

“And she couldn't tell him, couldn't start to explain that it wasn't the glass, the shredded skin down to the bone.”

“He wasn't coming. He wasn't coming to get her.”

HE WASNT COMING

“She should be glad. Should be relieved. She was relieved. And yet ... and yet …”

He didn’t know why she wept

What Maeve is

Does Aelin even?

It hurt them both😭 the wounds reopening over and over

“Neither of them said a word.”

And the scar disappears🫥

[kingandfireheart]

Do you have any cross SJM universe ships? I saw one for Elain and Fenyrs yesterday. I’m not mad at it.

I would be totally on board with that because I absolutely adore Fenrys Moonbeam. The only reason I don’t ship him with anyone is because he never got the healing arc he deserves. Fenrys was the only SJM character to bring me to tears on my first read, and I absolutely adore everything about him. (my Fenrys Pinterest board has more pins than my manorian one and that’s saying something) Elain already has two great options in front of her, so I haven’t really considered her with anyone else, but again Fenrys is perfect and they would probably get along well! (Also Fenrys is the equivalent of Az and Elain in terms of gorgeousness)

Crescent City could be an intriguing place for some of those ships, especially given that most of the side characters are single or dead (maybe Danika and Fenrys? That sounds like fun.) 

I don’t really think too much about cross-universe or crackships, but I am intrigued by the idea! SJM tied up all of her lose ends other than Fenrys in TOG, and I’m fully expecting her to do the same in ACOTAR too!