#I said it was fuckin batshit and I am not kidding

[lichqueenlibrarian]

SPOCKO

[lullabiesofalovesickangel]

im so tired

im so tempted to just tell them all i dont even want a day w them to "make up" for them missing the picnic

like im sorry??? its later in the day bcuz wifey works until 5am... we would both need SOME sleep to go to the courthouse && get it signed like wtf??? is that not crossing ur mind?? im not going to sign smth when im tired && im not going to force my lover to do that either

i understand the earlier we go the better but like... sleep is also important bcuz if i dont sleep i will go batshit

its not at [area] bcuz i want a different change for a little bit && ik there's going to be snakes out, it's not that hard to understand lol

like im not going to put the kids i babysit in danger just for a park that has snakes && make us go somewhere further away when we can have a place closer so everyone can go to work && so we can have a different change of pace

also bcuz the area they're wanting me to go is way too fucking close to where i got abused growing up, fuck that

like??? u want to tell me u respect the decisions made for "my day" but ur also going to say "y not here"?? r u srs???

r u fr??? like actually??? if i want to go to a diff park to have an easier time helping out w making sure one gets hurt then i should be able to do that, i can branch out locations i know

even then like... this weekend is going to be hell when sunday hits && then monday... u could at least yk be nice ab it

but im also overthinking bcuz i have a feeling that no one will actually show up, i'll get a txt saying "i couldnt make it so ill reschedule" like WTF DO U MEAN RESCHEDULE??? i get u can spend time w me && my wife at a later day but pls use a different term than "reschedule" bcuz i am NOT rescheduling my small ceremony w u

i plan on this being the first && last marriage i have so... fuck them for not seeing it for what it is

im sorry but if im done w this 7+ yr relationship... im just going to m-s my way out (iykyk) but im not getting a divorce lmao

i refuse to be like my parents && divorce any amount of times, 2+ should have been enough for them && im not going to divorce && fuckin leave ppl behind or smth

im so upset w my family

i want to sob

tbh i expected this, it always happens

i shouldnt have said anything

or ill get a txt from my dad && stepmom that theyre making it ++ my mom && stepdad && then itll crash bcuz itll be too tense

im going to kms if this day doesnt go well i swear

im so close to edge already i swear if my ONLY wedding day doesnt go well, im going to murder myself or someone else

[river-bottom-nightmare]

one of tim's absolutely mind-boggling traits, in kon's expert opinion, is that he only likes the bottom part of muffins. he will forever claim they are soft and they are fluffy and he will eat nothing else. kon, on the other hand, only likes the top parts, since that's where all the actual flavour was. so whenever these particular baked goods were in their vicinity, tim ate the bottoms and kon ate the tops. together, they made a whole, unified muffin. if that wasn't fate, kon didn't know what was.

"i haven't had a muffin in a while," tim says. his voice quiet, quieter than it has ever been, but it still rings across the crumbling rock of the sewer.

krypto's flying beside them, unwilling to get his paws wet, but kon is ankle-deep in the muck tracking down luthor's old tech with someone he barely recognizes leading him down the sewer.

(tim could lead him straight to the depths of hell, and all conner would do is cling tight and follow.)

"yeah, i can tell," kon says. "you look skinny. too skinny."

"thanks, mom," tim responds dryly. "i'll be sure to pencil in protein shakes and cupcakes between somehow outsmarting ra's-al-fucking-ghul and bringing bruce back."

the silence that follows carries more weight than tim's presence does, right about now. the water swirls under them, and tim is near silent as he leads. he knows the way intuitively, perfectly, like a dip in the styx with an ankle brace. it's almost like he's been here before.

(thing thing is—the thing is. the thing is tim rattled around an empty house for half his life, a latchkey kid in a shiny tin can. and the other half of the time, his parents' expectations and batman's expectations turned him into a tree about to tip sideways, roots ripped from the dirt. so there were times, more often than kon likes to remember, when tim forgot to grab a bite to eat.)

conner hurries after tim, the sweep of his black cape rendering him near invisible in the dark. "fine. asshole," kon says. "we'll eat muffins when you get back from finding bats. go to a fancy muffin place somewhere in, i don't know, fuckin' keystone city. i'm sure flash knows a place."

"conner—" tim starts, then breaks off.

kon pushes ahead of him to glance at the thick metal locking system on the door. "when you get back," he says firmly. he bets he can open the lock with his ttk faster than tim could pick it. "you said batman is alive and you're gonna find him. so go find him. we'll catch up when you get back."

(there's a couple things kon wants to ask him, more than a couple things. the lock opened softly and smoothly, clear evidence of someone opening it time and time again. tim flinched a bit when kon asked him to take off his cowl, fingers trembling as he undid the safety mechanism and pulled it off his head and fuck, dear fuck, not even his longer hair could hide the burns covering the back of his head. something in his voice broke when he tried to tell kon about what happened with him and cassie, a trembling glasslike thing that didn't seem to be about cassie at all.

but lex was on the loose and tim had a determined clench to his teeth and—not now. when tim got back from his mission, they would split a muffin and make fun of each other's hair and conner would finally tease a smile out of tim's chapped, downturned lips. when tim got back.)

--

action comics 3 just fuckin murders me everytime yall i am not okay

tag list: @graysonisms @screennamealreadyused @birdy-bat-writes @subtleappreciation @catxsnow @pricetagofficial @clamityganon @maplumebleue-blog-blog @sundownridge @thatsthewhump @xatanna-troy @red-hood-redemption @batshit-birds @capricorn-stark @buticaaba @comics-observer @newsical

[moriihana]

we can't fix each other but we sure as hell can enable each other instead || five: those kids are fucking crazy

pairing: dabi x disabled!gn!reader

overview: you meet dabi pre-canon because your cat, nugget, literally won’t leave the guy alone. friendship, fluff and (eventual) angst ensue.

chapter summary: training camp arc! you tease dabi for being a dramatic bitch and find out just how fucking batshit the U.A. kids are

content: fluff

word count: 2132

a/n: gonna be honest this is only this many words bc of having to copy the training arc dialogue and shit down. which was a pain. i had to rewatch the whole ass arc. it still doesnt read very smoothly to me but w/e i did my best also, if ya wanna know what the outfit the reader is wearing looks like, this is a drawing i did of the self-insert the original story was based on wearing it :)

*previously known as “we can’t fix each other (but we can heal our wounds together)”; i changed the title bc these assholes aint healin shit they’re just being overall menaces

AO3 link

← previous ; next →

You twirled the knife that Dabi insisted you keep on you during missions, annoyance lacing your features. “Dabi, you know I can handle myself.” You were sitting cross-legged on your bed as Dabi paced around your room. Boo watched him from her spot on the bed, while Nugget laid, disinterested, on your pillow.

“I know, but I still don’t want you going!” He snapped, throwing his hands up in frustration. “Those kids are insane, doll. I don’t want to risk you getting hurt.”

You scowled. “Yeah, they are insane! What if you get hurt? Or Twice, or Toga? You know how Toga is, she gets too excited and rushes things! I worry about you guys!” You set aside your knife and got up, grabbing Dabi’s wrists to stop him from pacing. “And stop that, you’re making me nervous. You know I can fight. You’ve seen how I fight.”

Dabi shook your hands off and moved to sit down on the edge of the bed. “I know, mouse. I know,” he said softly, “you’re just… the only other thing I care about aside from tearing down Endeavour. I won’t—I can’t—let you risk your safety without at least trying to talk you out of it.”

You sat next to him and bumped him with your shoulder. “Remember the promise I made you, pretty boy?” You smiled. “I’m not goin’ anywhere, otherwise you’d probably burn yourself to a crisp to get what you want, and I’m definitely not lettin’ that happen. I love you, Dabi. I won’t let anyone take me away from you. I’ll kill whoever tries. Besides, I don’t trust you to take care of Nugget and Boo by yourself. You’d probably forget to clean Nugget’s litterbox and he’d piss all over the floor or somethin’.”

He snorted. “Ye of little faith. You wound me, doll.”

“Maybe you should get good, pretty boy,” you teased with a grin. “That still doesn’t mean I’m not going, though, because I am. There’s a reason I joined the League, and it wasn’t to sit around until you all come back with God-knows-what kinds of wounds.”

“There’s really nothing I can do to convince you.” 

“Nope!” You popped the “p,” smiling cheekily at him. “Face it, pretty boy. You’re stuck with me.”

Dabi opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by Toga bursting into the room. “Tomura-kun said we should leave soon!” She grinned, excited. She was practically vibrating with excitement. Twice trailed behind her, scratching the back of his neck.

“Sorry, I tried to stop her. I encouraged her to barge in!” 

“It’s alright, Twice,” you said gently. “Toga, remember what we talked about? Knock before you come in—and wait for permission.”

“Sorry, Y/N-kun! I was just so excited, we get to cut people up!” Toga smiled brightly, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

“Fuckin’ psycho,” Dabi muttered under his breath. You smacked him on the back of the head, telling him to play nice.

“Anyways, we’ll get ready to go. Thank you, Toga.” You stood and ushered Twice and Toga out, then looked at Dabi and raised an eyebrow. “You gonna go get ready, or are you gonna hang out in here and watch me change like a weirdo?”

“I mean, if you’re offering, doll—”

“Nuh-uh. Out. Right now. Before I take that knife and shove it where the sun don’t shine.” You narrowed your eyes at Dabi’s smug grin. “Don’t fuckin’ say it, oh my God—”

“...kinky—”

“DABI!” You shrieked, practically shoving him out of the room. “Go get ready, dammit.”

You shut the door behind him with a huff, and began to get ready. Your outfit was nothing fancy—a cropped zip-up hoodie that fell a little above your waist, a plain t-shirt, snug-fit jeans, a holster on your thigh for the knife, and combat boots. The boots were custom-made, with zippers on the sides and velcro fasteners instead of laces—you designed it to ease the strain of getting dressed on your body.

You grabbed your cane, scratched Nugget behind the ears and gave Boo a little kiss on the head, then headed to the main part of the bar. It was time to go.

“I mean, I don’t like this. It’s not cute!” Toga fidgeted with her mask unhappily.

“This was orchestrated by the designer behind the scenes, right? Appearances don’t matter as long as it makes sense,” Mustard grumbled. He was younger than Toga, if you remembered correctly. 

“I’m not talking about that! I just don’t want to wear this,” she fussed. You pat her on the head with an amused smile.

“Hi! Sorry for the wait.” Magne approached with Moonfish and Spinner. 

“Hey, Magne. No worries.” You took your place next to Dabi, scanning over the forest from your position.

“That makes eight,” he murmured to himself. 

“I don’t care, just let me at ‘em! I’m getting too pumped up!” Muscle interrupted. You frowned—you didn’t particularly care for him. He seemed too simple-minded.

“Shut up, you crazy bastards,” Dabi drawled. You snickered at his annoyance. “Not yet… we’ll move when all eleven of us are here. Gathering a bunch of punks who are just strong will only increase the risk. It’s better to have a small group of experienced elites. First, we make them realise…” He grinned. “...that their peace is resting in our hands.” 

A few minutes passed before Twice and Mr. Compress arrived. Once they were there, Dabi turned around. “Alright, listen up. I’m only going over the plan once. Twice, Y/N: you’re with me. Magne, Spinner: you two deal with those cat heroes. Mustard, Moonfish, Muscle, and Toga: you head into the forest. Slow down the students you find, keep them separated. Once you have a chance, Compress, be sure to grab Bakugo and alert us when that’s done. Then we’ll meet up at the rendezvous point.” After he got confirmation everyone heard him, he grinned. 

“Now it begins. Take them down. The false brilliance of the title “hero”...” He turned back to the forest. “We, the Vanguard Action Squad of the League of Villains, will condemn them.”

You watched as Dabi pressed his hand against a tree, igniting it. “You’re awfully dramatic, Dabi,” you teased. “‘We, the Vanguard Action Squad of the League of Villains, will condemn them.’ Honestly, for someone who acts so disinterested all the time, you are such a dramatic bitch.”

Dabi glared at you as he moved onto lighting up another tree. You stuck your tongue out, earning an eye-roll from him.

“That’s no good, Dabi! You were beaten!” Twice interrupted, “So weak! You small fry or something?” You scowled at that, but said nothing.

“Already? I’m pretty weak.” Dabi turned his attention to Twice, frowning.

“Don’t be hasty. You’re strong. You should think of this as the pro being very strong.”

Dabi sighed and looked away. “Make another one of me, Twice,” he drawled. “We need something to keep the pros from leaving.”

Twice turned around and flipped him off. “It doesn’t matter how many times a small fry goes in!” He then gave him a thumbs up with his other hand. “Leave it to me!”

You snorted. “Looks like our job in this area is done. We should head to the meeting point.” 

Dabi nodded and put his hands in his pockets. “Yeah.”

As you were walking, Compress radioed in, alerting the Villains that he had completed his goal. 

“Hey, you two! Did you hear the radio? I’m so pumped! Mr. Compress already succeeded! Took him long enough! I was getting sleepy!” Twice said animatedly.

Dabi glanced at him. “Don’t say that. He did a good job. Now, we just have to wait for everyone to get back here.”

“That’s not right! You’re right!” 

You snorted. “Conversations with you are quite lively, Twice.”

Dabi sighed. “This place was supposed to be hard to find because of the wall of flames and gas, but the gas was cleared away. Things never go according to plan, huh?” “At least we got the kid.” You shrugged, nudging him with your shoulder. “Hey… did you hear that?” You put your arm out, stopping Dabi. He made a noise of confirmation and narrowed his eyes at a bush. He began to walk towards it before Twice raised his hand up.

“Oi, Dabi! Speaking of which, this has nothing to do with anything, but is it okay not to call the “Nomu” guy? You said it’d only react to your voice or something, right? It’s very important!”

Dabi turned back around. “Oh, yeah. You asked me why I didn’t add it to the battle, right?”

“Be grateful! Bow before me!” You laughed a little at that, matching your pace with Dabi as he resumed walking.

“A monster specifically for me, from Shigaraki… it’s probably killed at least one person by now.”

You three walked in silence until you met up with Toga. She pulled her scarf down with a grin when she saw you. “Huh? No one else is here yet?”

“You lunatic, did you get the blood? How many people’s worth?” Dabi shot you a look, daring you to scold him. You rolled your eyes, but kept your mouth shut.

“One person’s worth!” She said brightly. 

“Just one? Weren’t you told to get at least three?!” 

“It couldn’t be helped. I thought I was going to be killed.” You moved towards her at that, concerned.

“Are you okay? You’re not hurt, right?” 

She shook her head and twirled, smiling happily. “Not at all! I made some friends and found a boy I’m interested in.” 

“You mean me?! Sorry, can’t!” Twice interrupted, then made a heart shape with his hands. “I like you too!”

“Twice, she’s like… fifteen. Knock that off,” you hissed, bonking him lightly with your cane. He whined, but backed off.

“You’re too loud. Shut up—huh?” Dabi cut himself off, looking up to find three of the UA kids driving Compress down from the sky. 

“What the actual fuck?” You shook your head. “I knew these kids are insane, but what?” 

“Give Tokoyami and Kacchan back!” The green-haired boy—Midoriya, you remembered—shouted. 

“Does he really think we’d just… do that? I mean. Kudos for trying, I guess,” you mumbled to Dabi. He shook his head and pointed his hand towards the kids and Compress.

“Mister, get out of the way. Y/N, stay back.” He ignited his palm. You grumbled, but moved away from the fighting.

“Roger!” Compress utilised his Quirk before Dabi let off the blast at the kids, who dove out of the way.

Your eyes trailed after Twice as he lunged for Shoto. “Faces from Shigaraki’s kill list! That little beat-up boy and you! They weren’t, though!” He dodged backwards when Shoto sent a wall of ice towards him. “That’s hot!” 

You turned your attention away from Twice after he regained his balance, figuring he was handling himself well enough, and instead watched as Toga ran towards Midoriya and tackled him. When Shoji smacked her away, you let out an alarmed sound. Dabi stopped you from rushing over, gesturing to Compress, who had deactivated his Quirk and was now holding his shoulder. “Toga can handle herself. Make sure Compress’s shoulder isn’t hurt too bad,” he said, before approaching the masked man. “Where’s Bakugo?”

“Of course…” Compress felt around in his pocket, then paused. “Hm?”

The boy with the blue mask spoke up. “I don’t know what your Quirk is, but inside that right pocket of yours that you kept flaunting were these—Tokoyami and Bakugo, right, entertainer?” He held up two blue marbles. 

“Really, Compress? You just had to show off?” You grumbled. He ignored you, choosing to respond to Shoji.

“Oh, that didn’t take you very long! As expected of someone with six arms! You’re good at feeling around!”

Dabi scowled, lifting his hand. “Moron—” Compress interrupted him, “—no, wait.” He watched as the kids swerved to avoid the Nomu, and were cut off by Kurogiri.

“It has been five minutes since the signal. Let us go, Dabi.” 

Toga and Twice went through the warp gates and Compress began to leave as well. You tilted your head in confusion, staying back with Dabi.

“Wait. Our goal is not yet—” he began, but was again interrupted by Compress.

“Oh, that? They seemed so happy that they rushed out here, so I thought I’d give them a present. It’s a habit, one of the basics of magic. When I flaunt something,” he removed his mask, “it’s because there’s something I don’t want you to see.” He stuck his tongue out to reveal the marbles that actually held the students.

You sighed and tapped Dabi. “I’m gonna go ahead and head back, since Compress is being… well, Compress.” You waited until he acknowledged your words, then walked through the warp gate.

[tricktster]

So I once again have a lot of new followers, meaning that it’s time for my periodic disclosure that I started this blog back in 2015 to promote *deep breath* my Explicit Sans/Reader Undertale fanfic, Chill or Be Chilled.

If you’re rolling your eyes at that title, that’s totally justified because it was super halfassed, much like I initially expected the whole fic would be. If you’re rolling your eyes at the words “explicit,” “Sans,” and “Reader,” buddy, you aren’t alone, because I never would have chosen that particular combo of content and characters if I hadn’t been up to a scheme to bilk you fuckin’ rubes for all you’re worth.

I’m kidding. Kind of. Like, I didn’t really think that it would ever go anywhere at the outset: I began writing a few months after I graduated grad school and immediately thereafter got incredibly, INCREDIBLY sick, leading to a month long hospitalization that absolutely destroyed my path to get a paid job in my chosen field for about a year (I had to wait months to take a qualifying exam that’s only offered twice a year due to the hospitalization.)

So there I was, recovering from medical trauma, bored and aimless, unemployed, wildly depressed, and suddenly trying to scrape by in my manhattan apartment without a revenue source or student loans to facilitate my doing so. At the time, I was just like “eh, I’ll try my hand at writing fanfic, how hard could it be? and like, maybe i can get some people to donate money if I get enough clicks… and then I can use that money to buy food that isn’t just toast/ketchup sandwiches!!!!!”

What can I say? It honestly wasn’t my wildest scheme; it was 2015, I was seeing tons of thirsty Sans content on tumblr, I’d actually played Undertale so for once I had some context for THE popular tumblr fandom of the time… aaand honestly, I just thought it would be hilarious to write an entirely earnest sex scene where one of the participants was a literal skeleton. I studied screenwriting pretty seriously in college, I knew how to write dialogue and set up a vague narrative arc, I figured I’d write like 15 chapters and maybe get 50$ from generous readers if i was lucky.

Weirdly, even at the very beginning, this plan seemed to actually play out as I hoped? I was only giving it like 40% effort and I was writing absolute fluff for the most part, but I still picked up a few hundred readers and even got a few donations that permitted me to enjoy both pasta AND sauce at the same time!

The thing is, like I said, that I spent my undergrad years writing and critiquing screenplays. I knew that what I was writing could only be engaging for so long without some force driving the narrative, and it turned out that I couldn’t turn the part of my brain that was constantly analyzing plot structure off. And like… I liked writing fiction again. I’d stopped doing that once the 2008 recession turned all the entry level positions that could eventually lead to a writer’s room gig into unpaid internships, forcing me to abandon my dreams and instead pursue the goal of Being A Rich Corporate Asshole. I was actually pretty good at that last part (still am), but I missed writing fiction; more specifically, I missed writing GOOD fiction. I discovered that in spite of my initial lazy intentions, I couldn’t just keep halfassing it.

So, I decided to full-ass it. I began outlining and seriously working on my character development, and since I was the one writing it, I decided that it would be the kind of story I’d actually want to read - sure, there would still be some fluff, I’d still write a few skeleton sex scenes (and I wasn’t wrong, those WERE hilarious to write), but there would also be action and eldritch horrors and quippy dialogue and a billion plot twists down the road that I’d have to earn by laying the groundwork down up front.

Once I decided to fully commit to telling a story, I started having a ton of fun with it, and the quality improved exponentially…. and now, years down the road, I am the author of a 484k word, 176 chapter undertale fanfic that is currently the 884th most kudos-ed work on Ao3, which doesn’t sound that impressive until you consider that’s 884 out of 8,713,596, which puts it in the top .0001 percent. And that, unless I got the math wrong, is a batshit bonkers insane percentile to be in. It took some fuckin’ WORK, my dudes, but as a result I can now say with full sincerity that I am incredibly proud of the explicit Sans/Reader Undertale fanfic that, as one anon once pointed out, I kind of wrote as a joke for an audience of myself?

Anyway, I’m sharing all this because like after years and years of having this information in my head I just managed to FINALLY explain to @wrexie the exact layout of the location that like 70% of the story takes place in - I never managed to shake the screenwriting instinct to keep the location budget manageable - and now I feel like my soul can finally rest. Unfortunately, I was able to do that by sharing google maps photos of a mansion that I drove by a lot in high school, and it seems super invasive to the owners to plop that in a public post, but if you’ve read it and you FINALLY want to understand where all the rooms are in relation to each other, DM me and I’ll send you a screenshot lol.

Also, if any if this intrigued you, you should probably give the fic a shot, the link’s at the top of this post. As I mentioned, the first few chapters are pure fluff, but the plot starts to pick up steam pretty early on… and then you hit chapter 44, the pandering is officially put to rest, and from that point forward it’s a goddamn blast.

[doctordiscord123]

My Favs of Ego Manor

1. Everyone Has Bad Days -- Man, I always gotta show love for the first....I wouldn’t be anywhere without it, and though it’s pretty venty, and I don’t really like the writing anymore, just.....I love the story. Love

5. Blind Love -- Any story about the Host and Dr. Iplier are up there on my list, simply because they were and still are so entertaining to write.....and I like the cheesy stuff, and just -- that one fucking line in this story (you know the one), God, still remains one of my favorite lines I’ve ever written ever XD

26. Yandere -- I’m still more impressed by the concept of this one more than anything, and I think it turned out really nicely for how batshit off the walls the idea was XD thank you 3:00am brain

29. Reunion -- If you love squishy, bittersweet Darkstache, this is def a fic you’ll enjoy XD I liked this one a lot, I thought it was nice....

32. To My Dear Host... -- Like I said, most stories about the Host end up way up there on my list XD I love this story, I think the drama’s nice, I think I executed it pretty well, and, yeah, I’m a sucker for angsty shit, and though this isn’t exactly medically accurate (tbh not a lot of my stuff is) I still think it’s nice :D

33. And Peggy -- Peggy my beloved <3

38. A Zoo Without Cages -- what an absolutely ridiculous, nutty mess. I fuckin’ love it.

40. Five Times the Egos Were Caught Sleeping -- I just love how squishy it is....

42. Metamorphosis -- YESSSSSSSSSSSSS THE GOOD SHIT RIGHT HERE, MAN I WAS PROUD OF THIS

47. A Broken Songbird Still Can Sing -- Silver doesn’t get enough content in this fandom, and I think this turned out super well :D of course, it plays into my personal favorite tropes so perhaps I’m biased but skdfjgn

57. Nightmarish Reality -- I cannot express how many times I read and reread this one over and over before it came out skdfjgn I love this fic, man is it dark as fuckin’ Hell but I am so proud

66. Desperation -- Oh boy. One of the most difficult things I’ve ever written, and it came out so well. The feedback on this one makes me cry every time I read the comments. I’m so glad it was received well, I put so much soul into it, and just....yeah

67. Shimmering Depths -- Merman Bim <3

71. May the Best Android Win -- Not enough people portray the androids as squishy and the deserve to be squishy. This story is ridiculous. Poly robots for the win

82. The Wedding -- THE WEDDING!!!!!!!! Another one I am so so so unbelievably proud of, and I’m so glad everyone loved it!!!! I still remember absolutely sobbing over writing the vows skdfjg

88. Kids in the Manor -- Not my most creative title (titles are not my strong suit) but!!!! This one turned out Hell cute, plus the little secret in there, just <3

96. The In-Between -- YESSSSSSS!!!!! God I love this fic, I worked super hard on it, and it came out so nice, just -- I love the Host so Goddamn much XD

102. Worst Date -- Listen. Listen. I have never before laughed so hard while writing a story skdjfgn this one was just so much fun for me to write, I think it’s great XD

106. Rampaging Chaos -- Jims my beloveds <3

111. The Past’s Reflection -- A lot of people had been asking about the DA for a long time, and finally, I wrote it!!! I think it came out super nice, I love how I wrote the DA, and how they interacted with Dark, the little splash of silly, I love it

115. The Writer and the Prophet -- :)

121. Happy Halloween! -- Also Google’s birthday, I just didn’t want to put the whole title. Anyway, fem!Dark my beloved <3 Also this is just straight up Hella cute sdkjfg

122. This is Halloween -- I struggled so hard with this story within a story idea skdjfgn but!!! I think it came out super neat, the Host is a bastard, more fem!Dark skdfjgn and super neat horror story!!!

127. Snark = Regret -- Dr. Iplier you stupid bastard. I do love this fic though sdkjfgn I don’t write the Host pissed off often but <3

132. The Streets -- My God. This took. fucking forever to Goddamn write, and yet it was so worth it skdfjgn it came out beautiful and I adore it to pieces

134. Adorable -- Squishy <3

144. A Gift to this World -- Squishy!!!! Not many Eric/Reynolds centric stories on this list, but I like this one :D

152. Egyptian God -- Oh I completely forgot about this one till I read the name. Oh wow. Wow. Yes. I adore this one.

154. Is That a Challenge? -- Illinois my beloved skdjg

156. Something’s Up with the Host -- Ah yes, my own silly self-indulgent birthday fic XD I loved writing this, it’s so cute

159. The Beginning of the End -- :)

172. Star-Crossed Roses -- This was....so unbelievably difficult to write. I was already deep into my burnout by the time this came out, I wrote it all the night before it was set to come out, I was worried I’d have to delay it, especially since I built up the wedding date so much, but it came out on time, it came out pretty good if I do say so, and I’m glad everyone enjoyed it. Still the last Ego Manor story to come out, and maybe one day I’ll get to finish this series out like I wanted, but for now....it’s good to end on something so delightful

[transmascfrankiero]

all of mcr’s songs ranked out of ten based on whether or not you can strip to them:

romance: could work if you were going for a Super Melancholy smiths-esque vibe but overall too slow and pretty. 1/10

honey: headbanger soundtrack to showcase your revenge body to ur ex. bonus points for underlying ‘gonna murder shitty boyfriend’ context thanks to audition-inspired video. but slightly too angry to be seductive. 5/10

vampires: too goth, too many feelings. reminds me of pot dreads frank. would not work. 0/10

drowning lessons: this song is cursed and cannot be listened to in public unfortunately 0/10

sorrows: if u were going to do a strip routine while beating the shit out of someone for trying to stealing ur tip money this would be a gr8 choice 6/10

halos: it’s about blowing your own head off and taking too many pills to cope w/ wanting to die all the time. 0/10

turnstiles: please do not!!! strip!!! to a song!!! about 9/11!!!! what is wrong w/ you!!! -100000000/10

monroeville: if u were doing a private lil strip dance for your george a. romero-obsessed s.o. where u both cry over the idea of having to kill the other person b/c they turned into a zombie then sure??? but other than that no. .5/10

best day ever: ehhhhhh. too fast. kinda weird to get sexy to unless u have a hospital kink. 0/10

cubicles: wow the thought of doing a strip routine to a song about pining for ur coworker who doesn’t know u exist is too sad to even joke about -20/10

demolition lovers: it’s a long song but it’s got cool tempo changes for variety and if u got the stamina then go for it. 4/10

helena: so, like, i get it. it’s a bop. u could dance to this beat for sure. the costumes and color scheme from the video make for gr8 stage pictures and the dancing corpse lady is v pretty. i could understand why if u were doing an emo strip routine u would want to use helena. but please for the love of all that is holy do NOT strip to a song gerard way wrote about his dead grandmother okay i am BEGGING you -∞/10

give ‘em hell kid: FUCK YEAH YOU LOOK PRETTY WALKIN DOWN THE STREET IN THE BEST DAMN DRESS U OWN. 10/10

to the end: this would be a hilarious choice for a bachelor party ngl 7/10 for that alone

prison: absolutely you could strip to this song but u gotta COMMIT okay u gotta light something on fire onstage and challenge gender norms while screaming your head off 8/10 but only if ur not a coward

i’m not okay: it’s a bop, but can u strip to it? no. 0/10

ghost of you: mikey way did not die on a beach in fake normandy for u to strip to ghost of you. seek help -5/10

jetset life: dude this song like. actually works??? for a strip routine??? so long as you don’t actually listen to the words, from a musical perspective, u could totally strip to this 10/10

interlude: what kinda weird catholic shame kink do u need to have to strip to this song. also it’s too short and too pretty. -5/10 (unless ur into catholic shame idk)

venom: this would require such a high energy routine but if u can make being sweaty work then this is a gr8 choice 7/10

hang ‘em high: this is a BATSHIT INSANE choice for a strip routine but if u want to do it then PLEASE do. i like ur style. 8/10

deathwish: u can strip to this only if u introduce ur routine by dedicating it to everyone who ever said eyeliner on dudes was gay. 5/10

cemetery drive: i think not. 0/10

never told you: if u are a highly theatrical highly murderous stripper then yes definitely 7/10

desert song: this song is Way Too Beautiful to strip to sorry you can’t have it -300/10

the end.: the only sexy thing about this song is how good gerard’s voice sounds so no. 0/10

dead!: this is a bold fucking choice but u have to play your cards just right. high risk high reward but SO much to potentially get wrong 6/10

how i disappear: u could. but why. 2/10

sharpest lives: holy SHIT yes ABSOLUTELY u should strip to sharpest lives. the drama. the beat. the spy rock guitar that frank accidentally nailed. this is one of THE choicest options from their catalog. why aren’t u stripping to this right now 50000000/10

wttbp: cute idea but don’t actually 0/10

i don’t love you: again, a bold fucking choice. u could strip to this in an edgy, meta sort of way but it’s missing the trashy factor so it’d have to be part performance art and part strip routine. if ur into that then totally 5/10

house of wolves: i mean i would pay money to see someone strip to this song so 7/10

cancer: LMAO YIKES -2000000/10

mama: this would be GLORIOUS if u fully embraced the sheer insanity and went Bonkers in Fuckin Zonkers burlesque-show-in-hell w/ it. 100/10 but u gotta pound the floor wailing at some point

sleep: i’m conflicted on this one like on the one hand it’s a good tempo for stripping but on the other hand it’s a song about being cruel to ur loved ones in order to force distance between u and them b/c you’re terrified of them getting hurt and it being all your fault. so maybe don’t strip to this one actually 0/10

teenagers: a bop w/ a great beat and fun costume ideas from the video but two major drawbacks being 1. ur getting naked to a song about teenagers which is uhhhh sort of Inappropriate and 2. it’s kind of also about school shooters which is also Inappropriate to get naked to. 0/10

disenchanted: why would u want this. you sad fuck. idek what to say except if you want to strip to this song i’m crying on your behalf -100000000/10

famous last words: don’t????? don’t. Do Not. stop that. -12/10

blood: this is HILARIOUS omg please strip to blood 10/10

kill all your friends: sure?? no objections but it’s an odd choice. this goes for the demo too. 2/10

heaven help us: if u want to strip to this then you definitely just read unholyverse for the first time and while u are valid, Don’t 0/10

my way home is through you: not an especially sexy song but it’s fun!! you do you 3/10

astro zombies (cover): uhhhhhh it’s a no from me dawg. i’d be thinking about danzig, like, the whole time. 0/10

desolation row: sure but u gotta be willing to get punched in the face by the riot squad for maximum effect 4/10

common people (cover): just b/c gerard would strip to britpop doesn’t mean u can. 0/10

emily: NO!!!! -50000/10

party at the end of the world: nah. 0/10

not that kind of girl: literally please consider the subject matter of this song and rethink ur life choices. -10/10

all the angels: it’s a cool song but don’t strip to it that’s weird -2/10

jack the ripper: you and the person who wants to strip to astro zombies can go sit in the suicidegirls corner together how about that. 0/10

na na na: a banger!! strip away my friend 9/10

bulletproof heart: a good song but not a strip song 1/10

sing: sorry this song is [REDACTED] it gets no score

planetary (go!): you could try to strip to this but it’s such a classic four-on-the-floor that i think you’d end up just regular dancing to it and forget to be sexy so 4/10

the only hope for me is you: are you doing a strip tease for michael bay. stop. put ur shirt back on shia lebeouf 0/10

party poison: like this is a hilarious option and i support you but realistically it’s pretty fast for a strip song 3/10

save yourself, i’ll hold them back: this is a safe option. Too Safe. almost soulless. a person who’d strip to this would avoid eye contact the entire time and never smile and later when you went out for a smoke break you’d overhear them on the phone with their ex arguing over child support payments. 4/10

s/c/a/r/e/c/r/o/w: the more i think about it the more fun the idea of stripping to this becomes so i say go for it 6/10

summertime: i’m Certain that gerard would prefer if you didn’t -5/10

destroya: is this objectively the best mcr song to strip to? Absolutely. it’s got everything you could possibly want right down to built-in moans and fever dream drums. but the only person in the universe who Can Must and Should strip to this song is gerard. sorry them’s the breaks. ∞/10 but only if you’re gerard way

kids from yesterday: don’t. 0/10

vampire money: 100% yes you should strip to this. bonus points for stealth twilight references 1000000/10

we don’t need another song about california: do i like this song? yes. is it sexy? no. 0/10

black dragon fighting society: i can’t understand what the FUCK gerard is saying in this song AT ALL so i can’t recommend that u strip to it b/c i have no fucking idea what it’s ABOUT 0/10

f.t.w.w.w.: i mean. this song is about eating pussy. and robots that are built specifically to fuck. so yes you can strip to this but you gotta dress up like a pornbot 100/10

mastas of ravencroft: again i cannot understand most of the fucking words and the ones i do understand are something something RICKETY BONES RICKETY HANDS so like. probably not the one 0/10

boy division: i could go either way on this one like it’s really fast but it’s also about cocaine so??? 3/10

tomorrow’s money: while this song slaps overall violent nihilism does not a strip song make 1/10

ambulance: no. 0/10

gun.: antiwar messages are sexy but not the right kind for stripping 1/10

the world is ugly: PLEASE no. 0/10

the light behind your eyes: oh my god this is so DEPRESSING why would you want to strip to this who hurt you -2000000/10

kiss the ring: yes yes yes it’s got built-in audience participation conceit factor if u let ur audience kiss ur ring, totally works 10/10

make room!!!: again, slaps, but not a strip song 1/10

surrender the night: dude we talked about this!!! dying violently w/ ur loved ones is Not Sexy!!! 0/10

burn bright: i guess you could strip to this but again it’s Too Safe tread carefully 3/10

fake your death: i want frank iero to strip to this song so i can throw tomatoes at him for being a LYING SACK OF SHIT FOR TWO YEARS i’m not gonna rate this one but frank if ur out there i have a basket of slightly squishy heirloom tomatoes and i am COMING FOR YOU

[bxthharmon]

Never Go Home Again, Pt. III || JJ Maybanks x Reader

Words: 2336

Series Warnings: violence / talking about abuse / toxic relationships / talking about nudes sex tapes and sex / drugs / underage drinking

Pt. Warnings: Underage drinking / fighting / gun

Series Summary: A new girl, a shoebox of old memories, a past she’s trying to forget coincide with a hotheaded, but selfless, boy.  teenagers getting in way over their heads

Pt. Summary: Y/N is introduced to keggers and high speed boat chases in John B’s quest for treasure.

A/N: Okay so i’ve got like half of this series drafted, so updates shouldn’t be toooooooo slow. let me know if u wanna be tagged!!

Chapters linked in my masterlist.

“masterlist”

A kegger was both exactly what you thought it would be. It was full of booze, bad dancing and bad flirting, which was just about the only thing all teenagers had in common. You were laughing at something Pope was saying (some joke about dead bodies farting?) when Kiara interrupted you.

“What the hell is she doing here?” she nodded towards Sarah, who was sat on a tower, while Topper dried to persuade her to get down.

“Sarah?” you asked, thinking of how the two of you had been hanging out everyday until you met the pogues. “What’s wrong with Sarah?”

Before Kiara could respond, JJ shushed her, explaining that something had gone on between the two, and therefore never to ask in front of Kiara, earning him a middle finger.

You looked between the two girls, frustrated that your only two girl friends on the island hated each other. Kie wandered off, muttering about ‘pretentious kooks’, leaving JJ to ask you what was wrong.

“Sarah was my first friend here, we were hanging out like, every day until I met you guys. Just my luck that Kie hates her, right?” You sighed, leaning backwards onto him, and he wrapped an arm around your waist. “I get that y’all hate the kooks, I mean I don’t get on with rich people either, but Sarah was really nice to me, and she was fun. Why can’t her and Kie get on?”

JJ sighed, kissing your temple, “C’mon, let’s just go get wasted.”

You followed through with that plan. You and JJ must have had three blunts between you, and way too much alcohol. 

At some point, you left JJ’s side and ended up sitting down with Kie, talking about him.

“What the hell is going on with you and JJ?”

“Nothing.” 

“C’mon Y/N, you know that’s bullshit.”

“Look, Jay stays at my house every few days, and we’re close, that’s it.”

“Jay? He never lets anyone call him Jay. Y/N, the only reason he stays at John B’s is because they’ve been friends since 3rd Grade. He doesn’t sleep around people’s houses or invite them out with us unless he’s fully invested in the relationship, and that takes a lot with him. You can’t pretend there’s nothing there!”

“Okay…” you sighed, “yeah like, he keeps on pulling shit, and, like, making me think he likes me, but he hasn’t kissed me or anything! I mean, how do I take that?”

“He’s scared of fucking up. Look, he’s been through shit, him and his dad don’t get on, and he’s seen so many broken relationships, he wants to get it right with you.”

“Ya think?” you smiled to yourself.

“Hell yeah!” she laughed, “He’s batshit crazy over you!”

You grinned. “I don’t know man, and my dad’s like super anti-boys right now, and I’m scared this is all gonna go to shit, you know? Like, I got shit goin’ on at home,” she nodded, “like, my dad’s job is barely paying the bills and we gotta pay moving fees and shit as well, I’m gonna have to find a job so we don’t go under.”

“Hey, my dad’s always short on waiters at the Wreck, I’ll ask him to add you to the rotor.”

“Kie, you’re a lifesaver!”

You hadn’t been paying attention to your surroundings, and it was only when a crowd started gathering that you got up to investigate, pulling Kie with you.

You fought your way to JJ’s side, watching as Topper dunked John B under the waves. You went to intervene, but JJ pulled you back, muttering something like “I got this.”

Next thing you knew, there was a gun to Topper’s head.

People were screaming, JJ was saying something to Topper, but all you could focus on was how much of an impulsive idiot that boy was. You felt numb, only reacting properly when he fired shots into the air. One, two. 

You pulled the gun off him, not caring where it landed, and pounded into his chest, screaming at him for being an idiot, for being impulsive, for not thinking. He started to argue, but seeing the tears streaming down your face and how worked up you were, he pulled you in, cradling your head and shushing you, murmuring apology after apology. You stood there, consumed in his scent, as he held you.

At some point, when the beach was near empty, he pulled away, and you walked slowly, hand in hand, until you reached your house. “Wanna stay over?” you offered. He nodded, quiet, almost in shock, about what he’d done. You unlocked the door, pulled off your shoes, and crept up the stairs.

--

“Does anybody know how to dive?” Kiara asked, looking around. “Anybody?”

“It’s kind of a kook sport.” JJ pointed out.

“I read about it.” offered Pope, and you shook your head, exasperated.

“Great,” you mocked, “Pope read about it, so someone’s gonna die.”

“Look you put the thing in your mouth and breathe,” JJ motioned, “how hard could it be?”

“Well if you come up too fast nitrogen gets in your blood and you get the bends.” Pope said. 

“I watched some David Attenborough documentary in 5th Grade about fishers in, like, Malaysia getting the bends.” You added, “It was weird.”

“Bends,” JJ said, “Like bend over and-” he was giving you a full view of his ass.

“The bends kill you.” you clarified.

“Right.”

“I’ll dive.” you offered.

“Since when can you dive?” Kie asked.

“I don’t know, since I watched a documentary in 5th Grade?” you sighed.

“Y/N,” JJ shook his head, “You’re not diving.”

You glared at him, but didn’t fight.

“I’ll dive.” John B offered.

“I’m cool with that.” JJ shrugged.

Pope explained to John B where and when he needed to stop, so you pulled your top off and dived into the water to mark the spot.

Upon your entry, Kie asked “What was that about?”

“I don’t know,” JJ raised his eyebrows, “But I liked it. A lot.” 

Kie smacked his leg, and he laughed, watching your entry spot.

“When you’re down there, you look for the cargo hold,” JJ held up the little stick, “You stick this thing inside and you twist and pull.”

“Stick in, twist, pull.” John B affirmed.

You surfaced, swimming back to the boat, the boys looking over as JJ helped you out of  the water. “I tied my t-shirt to the anchor chain about ten feet down so you know where to stop.”

John B nodded, pulling the gear on and getting ready to dive. You watched as Kie kissed John B’s cheek before he went down, and you nudged her as she walked back. You gave her a questioning look and she shrugged, a bashful look adorning her.

“If you don’t ask, I won’t ask about you and JJ.” she bargained, and you watched as JJ’s head popped up at the sound of his name.

“There’s nothing to ask about.” you smirked. “Hey.” you nodded to the approaching boat, “Isn’t that the police? Let me do the talking.” 

You walked to JJ and Pope, JJ wrapping his arm around your shoulders in an attempt to be chill. Pope tied the boats together.

“Evening, Officer.” You greeted, Time for a light flirt, just enough to make him like you.

“Do I know you?” Shoupe asked you.

“Nah,” you shook your head, crossing your arms so your boobs pushed together slightly. “Just moved from LA, two weeks ago.”

“Well how are you kids doing? You know the marsh is closed?” 

“It is?” you asked, feigning innocence. Small bash of the eyelashes. “Why?”

“Conducting a search, a boat went down. See anything?”

“Nope,” you popped the ‘p’, “We’ll let ya know if we do.”

“Where’s your friend that you always hang with? Is he here?”

“Working.” you explained, smiling happily up at him.

“I’m gonna check your little boat out.” he stood up.

“Sure,” you cleared the way, ignoring the way JJ was watching you interact with the officer.

He picked up a life jacket, “Y’all got another one of these?”

“‘Course,” you shrugged, “in the hold, Show ‘im.” you beckoned to JJ, who obliged, opening up the hold.

“A’ight.” Shoupe nodded, standing on the edge of the boat, looking down to where John B was due to appear. You all shared a glance. “A’ight.” 

“We’ll let ya know if we see anythin’, Officer.” you smiled again. “And we’ll be on our way out soon, Sir.”

“Yes, you will.” the boat pulled away.

As soon as the boat was gone, you all leaned over the side.

“He’s definitely out of air.” Pope reminded you all.

As if summoned, he broke the surface, and the four of you made a collective sigh of relief.

“How’d it go down there?” JJ asked. “Find anything?”

“Did I find anything?” John B laughed, pulling out a duffel bag as he hoisted himself out.

“There we go!” JJ grinned, taking the bag, “that’s my boy!”

“You okay?” Kie asked.

“I ran out of air.” John B said. Pulling himself into the boat.

“Yeah the cops were up here but, uh, turns out Y/N knows how to lie pretty fuckin’ well.” Pope explained.

“Yeah, you kinda missed the show, brother.” JJ agreed, winking at you. 

“Jeez, chill,” you rolled your eyes, “It’s just practice.” JJ raised an eyebrow.

“Hey guys,” Kie called, “Guys, bogey, two o’clock.”

You looked up, “Y’all recognise that boat?”

“Never seen it.” Kie looked back at you. “What are they doing back here? The marsh is closed.”

“I don’t know, but let’s not stick around to find out.” JJ reasoned.

“Should we wait on them?”

“No, we’re not gonna wait on them!”

JJ pulled in the anchor, yelling not to wait for him, and John B began to steer away, everyone talking at once.

“Are they coming for us?

“Maybe they’re fishing.”

“Go, go, go, go!”

“Into the marsh!”

“Let’s go!”

“I’m going, act natural.”

You watched as the boat followed you into the marsh.

“They’re following.” You pointed out. “JB, hurry the fuck up.” 

“I am!” came the response.

The boat sped up. “Dude is that a fucking gun?” you shouted, and suddenly JJ was on top of you, pulling you down as a gunshot fired.

“Shit! John B, get down!”

“Oh my God we’re gonna die!”

You rolled out from under JJ, ignoring his efforts to grab you, taking a rope and net off Kie. You stood up, ignoring the shouts from your friends as you worked your way past John B to the sturn and threw the rope and net out, behind the boat, stopping the boat behind you. Breathing out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, feeling JJ grab you, checking for blood before crushing you in a hug.

He didn’t break contact until you were on solid ground, standing around the bag, waiting for John B to open the bag. 

“Can you please just open the bag?” Pope yelled.

“Jeez, Pope, that was a rare outburst of emotion.” JJ mocked.

“Okay, you guys are literally killing me with anticipation.” he groaned. “Just open the bag. We almost died over this.”

You all watched intently as John B pulled a bag from the bag, and then a waterproof container from that bag, and finally a compass from that. Disappointed, you stepped back.

“Oh wow,” You snarked, “Yup, that’s about right. Good job, everybody, we found a compass.” You noticed how John B kept staring at the compass, and sighed. “Dude, what? It’s not worth anything.”

“This was my father’s.” he murmured. 

Now, perhaps it was the fact that you hadn’t spent the last nine months dealing with the fact that John B’s father was missing, but you felt out of place amongst your friends’ reactions.

--

You settled into the sand, arm touching JJ’s, and feet thrown out below you. 

“Something about hanging out with you and your friends seems to be getting me in trouble.” you sighed, not noticing the way he gazed at you, adoration painted onto his features.

“Blame JB.” he reasoned.

“You say that like you’re not the biggest trouble-maker in that group.” you giggle, and he smirked.

“Nah, I don’t know what you’re on about, man.” he smirked.

“Jay, did you just call me ‘man’?” you laughed.

“Maybe.” he looks at you again, watching you laugh. You roll your head to look at him, your nose millimetres away from his. In the dark, the only details he can make out are your out line and the glitter in your eyes, shining with glee. 

You take each other in, basking in the moment, John B’s drama and your thoughts and fears dissipating, however momentarily. He reached up, slowly, and took a strand of hair, tucking it loosely behind your ear. He watches how your silhouette moves, and he can picture your blush. You blink, the shine of your eyes disappearing for a split second. He watches you turn your face back to the sky, pointing up. 

“That’s Cassiopeia.” you point out the ‘W’ shape in the sky.

“I’ve heard of that.” JJ murmurs, feeling your body shake with laughter beside him.

“The vain queen.” you sighed. “She boasted of her beauty, and in his anger, the God Poseidon condemned her kingdom to attacks by, like, water nymphs or something? To end the attacks, she sacrificed her daughter, Andromeda, who was saved by the God Perseus. They married, and at their wedding, one of Andromeda’s suitors tried to claim her back, but was turned to stone by the head of Medusa, which Perseus used to kill the suitor. Cassiopeia and King Cepheus didn’t close their eyes, so in light of their death, they were made to hang in the sky.” 

“How the hell do you know that?” JJ chuckled, and you laughed.

“I don’t even know.” you smiled. “And that’s the Big Dipper, or Ursa Major. And that one there is Orion.” You looked back at JJ, “What?”

“You’re beautiful.”

Tags: @tangledinsparkles​ @jellyfishbeansontoast​ @lolitstiana​ @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch​ @teamnick​

[themason]

Quick and Dirty Jupiter’s Legacy Review: They Did Josh Duhamel’s Fake Beard Dirty

In a lot of ways, Jupiter’s Legacy delivers: it is mediocre superhero escapism that spits out just enough plot twists to interest viewers. But in the ways in which art reflects reality, it is DUMB AS FUCK.

An ensemble cast of superheroes—Josh Duhamel, the only actor I recognized, plays the Superman-esque Utopian—I  think I'd have been 10x more into this show if the fake beards and wigs were of a higher quality. And I mean that. I would 100% dig a gray-bearded, long-haired, farmer Josh Duhamel... If only his fake follicles weren't so distracting. Maybe my standards are too high, as the muttonchops in the British dramas and mysteries I watch are top fuckin' quality, but I must not digress...

Like much of the work by writers I followed in the early oughts, this Mark Millar adaptation follows the various stages of life. Millar and other writers of his generation (and gender) have spread their tendrils throughout media the last 20 years as they chronicle the stages of their lives through pop culture: the manchild years, early marriage years, what it's like to have young children, reckonings with their own aging parents, and finally, what it's like to be an overbearing father with teenagers that hate you.

Mark Millar must have had teens that hated him when he was writing this initially*—or was recalling the ways his overbearing dad raised him—because the show is mostly about the family dynamics of Duhamel's character's family, which includes his spunky and faithful wife (Grace), too-hard-on-himself son (Brandon), and rebellious celebre daughter (Chloe). All of them have superpowers, and it's Duhamel's 120-year-old ass attempting to guide them responsibly through those powers. Comically, though the quality of the tantrums of the kids are analogous to teens, they are actually in their early 20s in the show.

(*Admittedly, I haven’t read the 2013 comic series, and am not certain how closely the show follows it. So maybe the comic is more opaque in its intentions than the show 🤷‍♀‍.)

The thing most people will hate about Jupiter’s Legacy is that there are multiple timelines. More than you can keep track of. Parceling out story tidbits seemingly at random. I'm ambivalent about this, tbh. I don’t mind feeling lost in a plot, but I can see others having problems with the jerkiness these timeline cuts bring to the flow of episodes. Ultimately, the freedom to jump between 1929 (right before Duhamel and his super friends received their powers) and 2021 (and sometimes in between) ends up feeling like a crutch for the writers to lazily lean on. But, this is the quality I'd expect from Netflix, as they seem to prefer to waste money and not time. Were they less stingy with time, maybe the writers room could have had a few more months to work out tighter scripts with fewer flashbacks.

At the core of my problem with Jupiter’s Legacy, and the core of the plot of the show, is "the code"—a set of rules Jupiter's Legacy's senior superheroes created and follow. The code: supes do not govern, and they do not kill. The do not kill aspect don't sit right with me specifically. As times have gotten tougher in the show, the do not kill rule has gotten harder, and the younger, new generation of heroes is finding it more difficult to understand why it exists, let alone abide by it.

And, of course, an important character eventually does kill. And thus, this further complicates the world heroes and villains alike live in, and this is doubly true for Josh Duhamel's Utopian.

At one point in episode seven, while discussing the “no-kill” code with his sister, Utopian’s son Brandon says, "You have to make a choice, otherwise you're just standing by letting the world go." Which is ironic since this is a show that does not make a choice. What “choice” do I mean?

It’s difficult to watch a show about superheroes acting as world police without thinking about the real-world police. This is doubly true when one of the subjects is whether said superhero “world police” (as I’ve dubbed them) should be allowed to kill dangerous combatants. The problem isn’t that the show “takes a side” when it comes to real-world violence. The problem is that the show pretends the subject doesn’t exist. Violence at the hands of superheroes and the ensuing effects are just utterly outside of reality. Of course, this is escapism, right? But escapism or not, there are other ways the show attempts to parody the real world, from the strained experiences of an overbearing father and his kids to the portrayals of celebrity lifestyle through the Utopian’s super-daughter, Chloe. I think I case could be made that the “code” is actually a fight against an increasingly fascist world (both on the show and in reality), but the metaphors get so lost in translation and muddled by real-world-problems that they seem meaningless to me.

I’d love it if I could JUST view Jupiter’s Legacy as a clumsy metaphor for all of our daddy issues, but it lives in a world where police violence exists. And when it’s engaging not only with the concept of whether the powerful should kill but batshit ramifications of that violence, like the superhero trope of supervillain “escalation,” it becomes real hard to find the show compelling.

Ultimately, the overall story itself isn’t about whether superheroes should kill—which ends up being a pawn used by both sides for control and power…but that doesn’t stop that single component of the show from being a distraction. By the time the last episode ended, I found that the way that the overall material had been handled left the Machiavellian plot twists inert. Which is not to say I saw them coming or did not see them coming, but to say that I just really didn't care.

[thetriggeredhappy]

[thinks about a comfort fic with sniper and scout cuddling and scouts a little mopey that night (ty spy ily spy) and he asks really quietly “am I stupid” and sniper gives the 745 reasons scout is Not stupid because he REALLY is Not]

i will stand by the fact that scout’s not dumb he just has ADHD until the day i fucking die and that’s that. (warnings for very mild violence and scout hurt followed right away by scout comfort)

-

At least Scout had finally settled down, Sniper thought to himself, carding his fingers through his hair.

Sniper had seen him outside having a run, heading in circles around the base and surrounding land at a pretty brisk pace. It was something Scout did sometimes to clear his head, and Sniper would catch sight of him doing that pretty regularly, and so wasn’t too much concerned. Then, an hour later, when he looked outside and saw Scout still running despite the fact that it was getting dark, he’d gone outside.

And it hadn’t startled him that Scout was out of breath—jogging for an hour would do that to anyone, even someone as in-shape as Scout—but it startled him to see that Scout was breathing so heavily through his mouth. Then he realized Scout had probably been doing that for some time, because all at once he noticed that Scout’s nose was bright red and very swollen, blood all across the bottom half of his face.

He hadn’t even asked at first, just taking Scout by the wrist and pulling him back to his camper. He’d given Scout a glass of water (which was drained in about five gulps), cleaned the blood off his face (“Oh, shit, that was bleeding again? I thought that was just sweat—“), and gotten an ice pack for his nose.

“What happened?” Sniper asked once all that was taken care of, tone leaving no room for argument.

Scout’s head fell, and he remained silent.

“Bilby, if you don’t tell me who did this, I’m going to head inside that base and start putting holes in the first bloke I find,” he said matter-of-factly, aware that his voice was intimidating and trying very hard to keep anger out of his tone. “What. Happened?”

“I got in a fight,” Scout started, speaking slowly, carefully. Sniper was tempted to interrupt, to say yeah, clearly, but he didn’t, just letting Scout talk. “Spy was just, he was getting on my case again, and, and saying all kinds of fuckin’… garbage. About… just, it was… look, he was just on my case again, alright? And I, I mouthed off, and then there was a fight, and half the team came in to break it up, and I… went out to take a run, and then I just, I don’t fuckin’ wanna go back in there.”

“Alright,” Sniper said quietly, putting a cautious hand on his shoulder in what he hopes was a comforting motion. “Alright, you can… stay here tonight.”

“But you—“ Scout started to protest, but he cut himself off, setting his jaw.

“What? What is it?” Sniper gently prompted.

“You said you don’t want me in here on weekdays,” Scout said quietly, unable to look at him.

Sniper’s heart ached. “When did I say that?”

“Last week. You said…” Scout started hesitantly, glancing up at him.

Silence. “Mate, I, I meant about sleeping over, since we have work in the morning and neither of us gets to bed when you do, we’re always up talking until late, I—you’re always welcome in here, I just wanted to make sure we were both getting enough sleep,” he clarified.

“But we’ve got work tomorrow,” Scout tried next, looking increasingly lost.

“We can make exceptions,” Sniper shrugged, “it’s alright. As long as we don’t make a habit of it.”

Scout nodded hesitantly, still clearly unsure. “So I can sleep over?”

“Yeah. ‘Course.”

To be honest, Sniper wasn’t particularly used to having to tiptoe around Scout. He wasn’t in the practice of being particularly rude to people, and it generally took something excessively mean to get Scout upset anyways, so it wasn’t a concern. Scout had a pretty thick skin. Except… apparently he didn’t. Because all at once he seemed hesitant, jumpy, visibly trying to make himself seem smaller, even if he didn’t seem to be aware of it.

He urged Scout to go ahead and use his shower, found some of Scout’s pajamas that he’d left over and passed them through the door. Soon enough Scout was in bed with him, settled in against him, curled around Sniper’s arm with his head on his chest. And finally he seemed relaxed, as ease, like he wasn’t just sitting and waiting for Sniper to kick him out. When the nervousness melted away, it seemed that Scout was left exhausted, tired down to his bones.

“Snipes?” Scout asked quietly, voice very soft, after a long few moments of quiet.

Sniper hummed in answer to show he was still awake, going back to fiddling with Scout’s hair. It was very soft, even a bit damp, and it smelled like his own shampoo, something that made his chest feel warm the more he thought about it. “Yeah?” he asked after another moment when Scout didn’t immediately go to speak.

“Am I stupid?”

Silence. Stillness. Sniper had frozen entirely as the words and the weight behind them sunk into his mind. “No,” was all he managed after a second, words clogging his throat and choking him.

Scout seemed to sink. “I won’t get mad if you tell the truth,” he murmured, and he just, he sounded so very small in that moment, and it broke Sniper’s heart.

“Scout, that is the truth. Of course you aren’t stupid,” Sniper continued, free hand moving to squeeze Scout on the shoulder.

“Snipes, I can barely fuckin’ read, I almost didn’t make it through high school, I can’t ever remember anything important and I hardly even know English let alone—“

“Spy called you stupid?” Sniper cut in, just to be sure.

“And some other stuff,” Scout confirmed quietly. “But everyone calls me stupid. Because I am stupid.”

“No, you aren’t,” Sniper said firmly, anger bubbling away deep in his chest, but he pushed it back down for the moment, taking a deep breath and setting it aside for later. “You’re not stupid. Just because you don’t think quite the same as everyone else, that doesn’t make you stupid.”

“What if it does?”

“Bilby, it doesn’t,” he insisted.

“Well I’m sure not smart,” Scout scoffed. “I don’t—everyone here is either really smart or really good at what they do, and I’m just not, I’m just fast, I’m not cool or good at fighting or, or smart, and I, I’m not like the rest of you guys, I’m just dead weight, I don’t belong here—“

“Yes you do,” Sniper said, working hard not to snap. “You’re one of the most clever blokes around here. Not book-smart, the real kind of smart. The kind where you think of things faster, notice things, react quickly. And you’re a bloody genius at reading people when it’s important to, you’re almost always the first one to notice when someone’s acting fishy, and every time Miss Pauling comes around you always get a read on how she’s doing even though she doesn’t talk to you much—“

“Spy can do that, and Heavy can do that—“ Scout mumbled.

“But they’re also both at least twenty years older than you and either have a degree or were literally trained to read people. With everything working against you, you’re still bloody bright.”

“Clever, huh, can’t even read—“

“You slammed your way through the entirety of that Ghost D.A. series in a weekend,” Sniper pointed out.

“The kids version.”

“It was a thirty-six volume series with about two hundred pages per book. You realize that’s still impressive, right?”

“I still barely made it through school—“

“You realize that technically the Doc never went to school?” Sniper interrupted.

A pause. “What?”

“He never went to school. He was in through… what do you lot call it, elementary school? Then he was homeschooled for the rest of the required time, then he got an apprenticeship from his family and cheated his medical exams to get his license. He never even went to a real university, he just skipped to doing a residency.”

“Well he still knows what he’s doing. He’s batshit crazy, yeah, way too excited whenever he gets a dead body to mess around and experiment on, but he can only do that because he’s smart. What the hell do I know how to do?”

“Talk to people, get through places efficiently, what can hold your weight and how to balance, you always remember where you are and where you were and how to get there, you always know what people mean when they talk to you about things even if they’re bad at explaining, you’re the most empathetic bloody person I’ve ever met in my life—that’s intelligence. You’re intelligent.”

“Snipes, I can’t ever remember anything,” Scout all but snapped. “What’s the point of reading fast or knowing what people are talking about when I can’t think all the way back to breakfast, don’t know what day of the week it is half the time, always forget my chores and what I’ve gotta do for the day?”

Sniper took a deep breath. “Scout. That’s still okay. That still doesn’t make you stupid. Truckie forgets simple things like that too. So does Spy. They aren’t smarter than you, they’ve just got more practice at working around it. Truckie almost never remembers meals, Spy records things to listen to them back later.”

“He speaks like six languages,” Scout muttered.

“And he’s an arsehole in all six, what’s your point?”

For the first time that night, Scout laughed, even if it was just a little jump in his shoulders, a puff of air startled out of him.

“Bilby,” Sniper started in, voice gentle again. “You aren’t stupid. The blokes just… they pick an insult for everyone, is what it is. Soldier is insane, Demo’s a drunk, I’m a hermit, the Engineer is short. They don’t mean it, not really.”

“How come I’ve got so many, then?” Scout asked, tone not full of bitterness so much as… resigned insecurity. “I’m stupid, I’m scrawny, I’m loud, I’m annoying, I’m babyfaced, I’m uneducated, I’m rude…”

“No you aren’t, they’ve just decided to call you that,” Sniper was quick to correct.

“What’s the difference? If everyone thinks it, doesn’t that make it kinda true?”

“No,” Sniper said, carding his fingers back through Scout’s hair and feeling him relax at the attention. “No, it doesn’t.”

He kept petting at Scout’s hair for a little while, and Scout kept relaxing in increments. It was quiet for a long few moments, then minutes.

“I love you,” Sniper finally said, and Scout’s head tilted against him slightly. “And even if you were the dumbest bloke on the planet, I’d still love you. Even if you were all those things, I’d still love you. Because you’ve got a good heart, and you make me want to be better, make me want to work hard to deserve all the happiness you give me. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah,” Scout said quietly. “I love you too.”

Silence.

“Night, Snipes,” Scout said, and he really did sound tired, terribly tired.

“Night, Bilby.”

-

The next day, Scout was still out of sorts, tired, lagging behind on his morning routine. Sniper turned the tables on what they usually did, offering to go get breakfast and bring it back to the camper for him. Scout agreed quickly, maybe too quickly, and Sniper pulled on his vest and hat and made his way into the base.

The kitchen was bustling, full to the brim with the rest of the team eating their own breakfasts of varying nutritional value. Sniper made his way to the counter where the main breakfast—eggs and bacon and toast, simple and straightforward and well-agreed-upon, it must have been Medic’s turn to cook. He packed up two little boxes and shoved them in his bag, then promptly made his way back into the main eating area.

He got one or two waves, an offhanded greeting. They all seemed unperturbed. Sniper wondered whether they’d even noticed that Scout was gone, and all the anger that he’d carefully pushed down bubbled and spilled over all at once.

He picked up one of the few empty chairs at the table and slammed it back down against the ground. The resounding BANG of wood against concrete immediately drew the attention of the entire room.

“Bushman,” Spy greeted calmly from his immediate left, almost bored-looking. “Here to break our furniture, I see.”

“What’d you say to him?” Sniper asked, voice cold enough to freeze over hell.

Silence in the room, the few mercenaries not already looking alarmed quickly shifting to do so. All except Spy, who just sneered. “You’ll need to be more specific, I’m afraid,” he said with faux politeness, an undercurrent of venom that would have most people backing down.

Sniper was not most people. “What did you say to Scout yesterday?” he clarified. “Tell me what you said.”

“Oh, before he threw a temper tantrum and stormed off to hide in his room like a spineless coward?” Spy asked airily.

“He’s not in his room, Spook,” Sniper said, the deadly cold hardening further. “He’s not anywhere in the base. Now tell me what you said to him.”

In his periphery, troubled shuffling, glances, concern. Spy did no such thing, just rolling his eyes and producing a tape recorder from within his jacket, rolling it back expertly and stopping after a few moments, letting it play.

“—don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” came Scout’s voice, slightly odd-sounding, different on tape than it sounded in real life, as well as apparently being a bit distant.

“Yes I do,” came Spy’s voice, slightly louder. “You’re an idiot, and a man-child, and a coward, and are only in a desert shooting your little gun at men who can’t die because you couldn’t possibly get a job anywhere else. You’re lucky that Miss Pauling took pity on you and gave you a job here, or else you’d be lying dead, overdosed in a ditch somewhere along the east coast just like everyone else you ever knew. And the moment someone faster and more literate comes along, that’s where you’ll be ending up anyways. Before you do, pass along an apology to your mother for the inconvenience of a funeral.”

Spy clicked the button again to stop the tape, cutting off the sound of Scout starting to yell something. Then Spy moved to say something, probably snarky, probably clever, but it never made it out of his mouth, because Sniper’s fist connected with his jaw at high speeds.

As the Frenchman was sent sprawling out of his chair and to the ground, swearing, and several members of the team moved to stand up and start protesting, but Sniper squared his shoulders again and turned to level a look at them, and they promptly stopped. He shook out his hand, glaring coldly.

“I’m guessing none of you lot said anything, did you?” he asked, still cold. “Just pushed them apart when Scout stood up for himself.”

The silence spoke for itself.

“Here’s what’s going to happen now,” he continued when it became clear that nobody had anything to add. “You lot are going to stop with your little jokes. Stop your fun little game where you make fun of the littlest bloke here. And you’re going to apologize to Scout for the way you’ve all been acting. This isn’t the schoolyard, and you’re all far too old to be acting like bullies just because he hardly ever bothers standing up for himself. And if you don’t, if you keep acting like children, you’re going to regret it.”

“You plan on knocking the whole team out cold, son?” the Engineer asked down the table, his own tone sharp. “Or are you saying Scout’s gonna try?”

“No,” he said. “Neither of us. That’s not what I meant.”

Quiet for a second.

“You’re all willing to lose Scout over this?” he asked flatly, looking around the room. Several of the team couldn’t meet his eyes. “You’re alright with Scout leaving, quitting this job, rather than you lot putting in the effort to stop being complete fuckin’ bastards to him all the time?”

“Where is he? Where did little Scout go?” Heavy cut in to ask.

“Is the lad alright?” Demo asked, genuine concern etched across his face.

“I found him when he was out for a run,” Sniper replied, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Nose bleeding and all. Acting like he’d just seen a ghost. He talked to me. Maybe because I’m not a complete and utter cunt to him.”

Guilt seemed to be a common factor in most of the team’s expressions. Pyro had one hand up against their mask, body language that of upset.

“He told me he thinks he’s stupid. Worst bloke on the team, not as good as any of you lot. The weak link. Says he doesn’t think he belongs here. Wonder where he got that idea?” Sniper asked, the cold rage back in his voice again, and there were glances again, looks exchanged. “I’m not going to tolerate any more of what I just heard. Any of you in my line of sight start treating Scout like that again, there’ll be hell to pay. Because I’m not going to let you lot chase off the one good thing that’s ever happened to me just because you think you’re being cute.”

He shifted, looking over at Spy, who was still on the ground nursing his jaw, looking equal parts pissed off and concerned, something peeking through the anger, something that told Sniper that he really hadn’t ever considered the consequences.

“And if any of you give a damn about Scout, you won’t ever let that—“ a flippant gesture towards the fuming Frenchman, “—happen again. Do we have an understanding?”

A chorus of answers, all in the affirmative. Sniper nodded once, and promptly left the room.

-

He and Scout walked into the locker rooms to finish suiting up, and the place fell quiet.

Scout’s head sank, eyes falling to the floor, and he kept his head down as he walked to his locker, starting to wrap up his hands. He was doing that thing again, where he tried to make himself very, very small. Sniper sat down directly next to him as he pulled on and tightened the laces of the boots he generally wore into battle, and even that simple act of solidarity was enough at least to make Scout’s hands stop shaking so violently.

The click of expensive leather shoes on concrete, calmly coming towards them. Sniper felt the runner shift beside him, looking up, but he didn’t bother, keeping his eyes on his task.

“Scout,” Spy said, tone as aloof as every other day of the year.

“Just fuck off, Spy,” Scout mumbled, and perhaps Spy didn’t hear it, but Sniper did—the waver in his voice.

“No. I have something important to say,” Spy replied, tone even. A very brief pause fell. “I’m sorry.”

Sniper’s gaze flicked up. Scout went tense next to him. “What?”

“I apologize. I was out of line yesterday. I said several things which I very much regret. I sincerely did not think you cared enough about my opinion of you that my insults would in any way hurt, and clearly I was wrong, and so, I am sorry.” His words were awkward, not in the way of them being forced, but in the way that told them that Spy was uncomfortable, clearly not much used to giving real apologies.

Silence for a second before a Scout figured out how the hell to react to that. When he did speak, his voice was tight. “What, did Medic make you come over and apologize or something? Did Hardhat yell at you?” he asked, frustration filtering through.

“No. They did not. It just became very clear from your reaction that you were upset, and now that I’ve had time to think about it, I’m…” He paused. “I’m sorry.”

Scout was quiet again. Sniper glanced at him. He looked confused, mostly. “Okay,” he finally said, very much lost on what to do.

Spy nodded, looked away. Seemed to chew on his words for a moment. “And I take back what I said,” he added, quieter now. “You are not someone that could be easily replaced on this team. You play a very important role here, and… you are good at what you do, and we are all very fortunate to have you here on our team.”

Scout outright didn’t reply to that, visibly at a loss for words.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Spy finally said, glanced between Scout and Sniper, walked away from them and towards the rest of the team, a stiffness to his posture.

Sniper watched him go, saw the way the rest of the team glanced at Spy, saw Spy starting to talk quietly to Heavy and Demo, the latter of whom glanced back towards the two of them. Then he looked at Scout, hoping Scout didn’t see the overt way they were interacting, and saw that Scout very much wasn’t paying attention to that. Instead, he had his head ducked, and was starting to sniffle, eyes welling up.

“Wait, Bilby, what’s wrong?” Sniper asked quickly, a hand on his shoulder, ducking to try and get a good look at his expression, confusion and concern mounting.

“No, I, it’s just—“ He sniffled again and swallowed hard, hurriedly wiping off his eyes with his forearm as a few tears started falling. He took a few seconds to compose himself, and bent further forward when he cracked again. “I just, I think that was the nicest thing any of the guys have ever said to me.”

Sniper took a moment or two to process that, a series of complicated emotions rising in his chest, before he simply moved to pull Scout into a tight hug, his own throat becoming tight.

His gaze rose to the rest of the team, most of whom seemed to be watching them with some amount of concern and confusion. He flashed them a thumbs up as covertly as possible, and they relaxed, returning to what they had been doing.

They all became much nicer to Scout, still occasionally ragging on him, but largely dialing it back to a normal level, to the level they gave just about everyone on the team rather than him being the common target. And it took a while—a long while—but Scout seemed to brighten, straighten, smile more, relax more. And god, was Sniper happy to see it. God was he happy to see it.

[misterbitches]

Hello! @flootweed replying to the post from before. the long format was killing me. why does tumblr look like this...

I haven’t watched episode 8 yet...or have I? If it’s the most recent one. No.

Is the hornbill a bird? It probably is but I have a terrible memory and I’m dumb so. I skipped the last few weeks because I’m scawwed. How are you liking it? I did see someone say that the hornbill makes sense (without knowing what it is...at all) bc heart transplant patients only live like 5-15 years after but someone in those comments pointed out that he was so young when he got his and that’s pretty rare so he has a higher likelihood of survival. Frankly, this is the only way I will proceed. Since when did shows ever care about the heart transplant health? Never and it needs to stay that way!

What did we think of ep 6? LMAO. I need opinions! And omg it makes me feel special when I can point things out to people because I so...rarely get to LOL. Editing is like one of my favorite things ever so I can be super particular about it but I try to do the thing you do when you’re supposed to see if it works within its context. I’d like to go in with scissors and glue but alas. 

THe mic covering....the rustling....it’s like guys...please. Ironically the audio today wasn’t great. I don’t know why. IDK if you watch c-dramas but I am not even sure what’s worse between them because they dub their dramas. But actually no it’s best to have the dubbing because even tho it is painful they have to put a lot of effort into it. LOL. 

Right? @ Aey! It’s just weird if they would show us more about what he’s done instead of saying he’s done sth bad and not even explaining that....like you could even do some shitty exposition. I think if he is to be a true villain then we really need to be privvy. All the warnings make it seem like he’s a fuckin’ serial killer so when we get the scene of him at home it’s like....actually this is really serious? Maybe his pain is like...for a reason. Althought you won’t even TELL US WHAT HE’S DONE WRONG BESIDES BE JUST FUCKING WEIRD AND ANNOYING! So from what we have it’s just a realllllllll fucked up sad person lol. god i forgot about the dinner! and i totally agree. he really needs them to succeed. i like your theory because it would make the scene where he like blocks the twitter user make more sense. he also says they dont really know each other etc so it’s realllllyyyyy probable that he just sees it as a way out. if not then we shall pretend u wrote it :)

god yea i wouldnt say it is art but i also guess we technically have to since it is technically. in the way that technically performance artists are artists but mostly i uh technically ignore them. Also one of my fav BLs is called the best twins. If you do not know what it is I will not elaborate further.t 

i want to know more abt poli sci majors lmao but they sound DRAMATIC/ hopefully most ppl in ur cohort arent losers! 

hahahha i understand. there was just a thing on twitter about DSA and then the day before about reading discourse. the same thiings. over. and over. and over. and over. we are our own worst enemies but also our own best friends? but i hate tankies and that wont change. but hasan’s a decent guy. he said sth abt black ppl during biden’s primaries in GA or whatever and i was like chill. but he’s insecure and has adhd which means ur more open to being wrong and changing otherwise u will suffocate and die. 

and totally about hiding fuck ups. i’ve tried really hard bc of organizing IRL to like...be honest, question, etc but also like...approach it naturally? because if you’re trying to be perfect and so worried you’ll fuck up you don’t realize that puts  more stress on you, makes you seem like a robot, and could potentially not make you realize the mistkaes you made. also if we’re privileged in certain spaces there is just no possible way we won’t get something wrong. im light and i know that honestly any way to speak up on colorism is going to be difficult and that’s a space where i have power so i just have to figure it out. we should be uncomfortable because we have to sit with unpleasant feelings and sort through our own whatever. that just makes the next time even better and people can trust u more.  i think some people sweat it sooo much or maybe they think their personal life and what theyve been through is more the norm? on the other hand people can be sf reactionary in the worst way and idk what their issue is. there was also a user who said sth very inch arresting about tankies which i thoroughly enjoyed (how like violent lefitsts or tankies / ppl who are like ooh a gun whatever just want to be violent in another space so they have shit tendencies from jump and nothing of substance which i think i agree with tbh fo ra lottttt of ppl. like their anger is actually like “no im about to beat that ass” instead of what we actually want to get done) 

sort of in the same vein re: taking it easy...we coudl all be more understanding too. to slow it down like you mentioned about not being privvy to fucking eveyrthing and saying anything on our mind. i saw this person talk about y2k which was a huge deal while happening bc it was the turn of the millenium (bruh were u even alive?) but this twitter user grew up in a super super SUPER religious household and was like why do ppl make jokes about Y2K it was insanely traumatizing? though my first instinct was confused ive tried hard to like look more before i judge especially thanks to a friend of mine. turns out that with the further reading the more we found out he was just really traumatized; it was very common in religious households to be afraid of 2000. so we could have come at him with no understanding and he could have thought that everyone had the same experience with that year that he did. his feelings sit precedent though but i think it was just very hard for him to fathom. 

i didnt reply bc he didnt need that and what could i have said? he’ll see what the truth is with exposure and unfortunately this was something he really did go through. 

and that’s what makes most people think others could be over the top. because it sounded ridiculous but then it was this huge traumatic thing that we could have never known about. so maybe when someone sounds like actually crazy they have an explanation? of course some ppl are just batshit or annoying but that’s anywhere not just leftists it’ just means more i guess when a ~~librul is annoyed~ but it can be easy to want to make fun of ppl too. lmao.  basically what i am saying is the internet? especially twitter? for leftists? in this economy? bitch it’s the wild west out here.

i am 29! idk if i said it or not. i am OLD u probably werent even born in the year i was talking about wah. i know not old-old or old at all but compared to you i’m due for a colonoscopy.

omg i hope u can get vaxxed soon! are you wfh rn? i hope ur also not in a bad state as in state state not state as in ur being :| bleh what a fucking time. it sucks that you have to fucking do work. well unless u like school. which i hope u do. i just assume everyone hates it cos i did lmao

was it the lindsay ellis drama? that bitch is dumb. if there was other drama oh wait the drama i was referring to it all happened on the same day. idk book twitter that well but i saw something from someone who was abt that shit and wowie! the american people are not that.....intelligent to put it lightly.

i’ll get better. ppl tell me they miss me and im like aw. i have insanellllyyy bad insomnia and a lot of stuff happened this year HOWEVER I SLEPT FOR TWO DAYS FOR 8 HOURS AT A REASONABLE TIME. im a new woman.  anyways you too! i hope ur not too burnt out with school. we just dont know when the burnout is or we just dont know we are burnt out until we are. the panaramiciccici hit and all the things i was ignoring kind of just fell on me and sooo much happened at once. and frankly it’s hard to take care of ourselves. lord. 

Like if you aren’t interested in expanding on the issue in a way that hasn’t been done before all you gotta do it like… spread resources and donate if you can. I dont see the point in having to say something about every issue especially if you (not at you specifically just in general) aren’t immediately impacted by the issue. Like is the 14 yr old white marxist named sarah on twitter really gonna have meaningful insight on anti-asian violence ?

this is part of why i cannot telecommunicate. i dont want to do shit on the internet. i am able bodied so i know that this time has been of such ease for other people. but mentally i just can’t. i don’t have a comment on hand like that and i hvae no desire to engage with ppl that way. i am a super super super solitary person but thats bc it’s MY time so when it’s like all this effort with other people i dont ever want to be alone. it’s the same with the way i approach filmmaking. it isnt a sole thing so i hate it not together. that’s part of how u can get so sucked in and repeat doom scrolling. i was in this webinar last may after [redacted] and this black woman prof said “read with a community and talk” because otherwise she said we are torturing ourselves. you can’t carry that weight all on your own. unfortunately i hate zoom, discord, slack, signal, whatsapp, facetime. you name it this panera has made it evi.. L

you make a really excellent point. i think the young young gen zers are really really just interesting because it’s like this whole new world for them with leftist politics and they just can’t grasp the horrors of the world and the kind of freedom being a leftist can bring. and so many people don’t grow out of it. those people so happen to be the “least productive” in terms of how much time they spend IRL withe these issues. naturally, younger kids are gonna have a harder time. they are not as mobile as well so the internet becomes this place. but then it’s this echo chamber. and many times just things posted without sources. and social media NEEDS that to exist.

i think of the irony of leftist kids on tik tok and while i am happy it’s reaching them it’s just....different. very different. the growth of social media is so good but also so fucking sad, it’s too much! i think the point about not writing everything is major. even i have to do this which is part of the disappearing.y ou need to detach and make sure your head is on straight again. but when you think eveyrone has to be privvy to every thought and you can’t just sit back....which twitter and social media doesn’t encourage. you have to join in. that’s often why when i have something to say it is dense because i don’t feel like repeating it. ever. lmao ust ever. i cant pay attn. social media is a fucking minefield for my brain u can get so lost in it and absorb it but once u start talking you may not be able to stop. 

i think a big part of that is it not being a leisurely thing but sort of just in our lives always. this sounds like a grandpa rant but ykwim. We dont have to see the same thing over and over again. And eventually it gets sincerely diluted or its diluted bc of capitalism or whatever. Or if theyre very young or maybe they don’t have like the greatest way of sharing the knowledge? then it can be butchered. I hope this is making sense...i’m talking beyoond the boring surface-level milquetoast shit. i see really ahistorical stuff on there from leftists (like this thing about NK + africa and it being a beneficial rship as opposed to a um not beneficial one. and it isn’t.  beneficial but this young black girl was talking abt it and noname rtd and i was like it’s just too complex. there’s no good/bad here just bc it’s not america. dont get me started on this.)

but Lol that was kinda off topic but I think what I meant in my last reply about not turning off the voice in my head is about when I consume media, not necessarily when I’m online talking about. Even if I have criticism for something, I’m usually pretty chill when consuming fandom content bc I think being serious online all the time is kinda boring. Like sometimes I’m analyzing theme and shit but really most of the time im memeing.

exactly.........gotta laugh. thats why sometimes im like i cant think lmao. unfrotunately i have been ARGUING with ppl on the internet for rly no reason when  i could have replied to ur very nice fun wholesome message. i love torture. i miss memes.

“ i think the people who get the least enjoyment out of that are those so obsessed with getting upset with anyone thinking outside of their lines as if it equates to them “ EXACTLYYYYY

kekekekeke im glad u got it. it’s like with conservatives throwing around snowflake. now im beginning to question who the real complainers are. 

LMAO exactlyyyy. i posted a screenshot of this writer from twitter saying that exact thing. Like first of all, I’m...an adult? and if you are as well uh? i’m sorry for you but are we 12? But how is it affecting u this viscerally? And if it does why dont u...do...research? pihgofuaipoajghou but honestly everything u said. we’re trained to go into it with nothing. i was only around ur age when i started to get more serious about this stuff but you’re like lightyears ahead of where i was at 21. did i say this but i’m in iww and literally i can tell u in 2016 i did not think 2019 me would be in a union bc i told my friend in a train station that we don’t need unions. i was 23...but the thing is i didnt know what i was talking about. at all. and i knew i didnt know and she knew i didnt know and now i am the clown.

also yes at critical engagement. i had to learn so much through experience and this is tuff that i coudlnt be shielded from. there’s an empathy you kinda have to develop and this understanding that you move through the world as this person who is “nowhere and everywhere; nothing and everything” so i’ve always had to think about things differently just to survive. that’s also what can drag a lot of people towards it like theres so many black kpop fans bc i think a lot of the pain in SK can be mirrored (sort of) through our history. and theres currently a history now but it had to be forged. uh what was my point oh yea however i wouldnt have been able to move further if i didnt have my background to go off of  bc i knew something was off when i started getting into all these things (ill give u a hint) but if i had no prior knowledge and didnt have to think about it then the critical approach is either stale or stupid. 

i had to research but i dont understand how ppl are so bold with little to no research and understanding? thhey just inherently know with also like ZERO experience in what they need experience in. engaging critically means “how i see the world” with dashes of trying to be open adn understanding or whatever. actually that’s another thing like being afraid of criticizing things bc theyre foreign to you so u give it a pass (like we discussed) but it doesnt hAVE TO BEEEE JUST REAAAAAD and then take all the info ur teensy brain and apply it. be a normal human being and dont be fucking rude and racist. thats it! u can complain abt literally anything without being a dick.

as we start with LW and end with LW.....what do we think (i asked this already) omg please share wbl thoughts i THINK i know what ur talking about. well it could be two things; their rship when they came back and the physicality and then pei shou yi. i almost dont even want to use my brain to fucking look at that. i think wbl can get away with more bc of visual~*~*~* reasons (like literally, the look of the show. there’s more space to get lost in the frames. many thai dramas are a lot more literal? this isn’t the right word but it’s very heavily character focused particularly bc of $ i think) though good production also underscores flaws so i am also wrong. but like do u know what i mean? u have to kinda focus on it? or maybe it’s just cos like.....ur so used to it in thai bl idek. i’ve seen tw bl ofc. 

look i swear i will justify this forever bc there are some things we miss right but if u feel like someone’s a bad actor....theyre bad. it’s about tone movement etc etc etc and since most thai bl productions have 0 interest in that....well. they take these newbies and put them in these situations. we dont understand thai but if we see them and we’re like “wow this is really bad” then they’re bad lmao. IDC i will never be like cos idk what theyre saying NO WHY HE LOOK LIKE A ROBOT???????? DOES HE EMOTE? why is he CRYING WITH NO TEARS? and it’s not even a total requisite to cry with tears(i mean for me it is) but it’s just like what is happening on ur face right now young man????????

painful.

the inflection stuff is very valid ooh good point tho but that’s only a part of the piece. plus we get used to the way they communicate. like the ppl from sotus were prtty bad. i dont like that show but thats an ex of ppl liing the actors and the person i thought was better other ppl dont think that? well apparently hes a shitty guy but. um. so when theres decent acting its so glaring.

although i must say even tho i dont care for 2gether anymore and would never like to be reminded about its existence (only bc i just cringe lol) i honestly....didnt think bright was a bad actor? but people keep saying he is and i am much more inclined to believe them than myself. though i am not often dickmatized that could have been it. until he opened his mouth and ruined it and then i stopped paying attn.

although honestly i’m so much more critical than i could be positive. i have ben stumped for the last day about how i wasnt mad at his acting in the show. is it me? is it him? who’s......the wrong one.....(me) 

oh shit they have been denied? i haven’t been paying attn to whats been going on recently. i just got into it on MDL because of snowdrop. sometimes i literally cannot engage bc ill just be like alright well im black so this power button in my head is going off when ppl talk abt that shit. back in the day when kpop jawns were saying some real outta pocket anti black shit (now everyone is slick with it) it’d always be THEY DONT HAVE GOOGLE THEYVE NEVER SEEN A BLACK PERSON but really it’s like no...maybe they are just racist? that’s ok too.

also the past 2 weeks have been um atrocious bc how fucking easily people fell into the pit of white supremacy and started to turn their ire towards black people and making a competition between our groups just like they wanted. it’s not about the women who are dead anymore, who were sex workers, their womanhood, being asian, being poor anymore. it’s about how much black people get attention and why people only pay attn to us. i am not feeling very generous this week for ppl to excuse that hsit.

on a lighter note, ppl say that abt the whole husband and wife thing. i dont know how to explain how angry that shit makes me but maybe it’s because i do not want to think of my body in relation to a fucking penis at all hours of the day. if bls could kindly not do that it would be nice lmao 

yes there are a lot of those. who are only there to gawk lmao. and just idk worship bc of the cult of personality thing bc of how weird and open they have to be as actors. some of the others are people who /think/ theyre really smart (i think im asmart but i also think i am very dumb and i have adhd to prove that MEDICALLY!!!) but are actually not? or their observations arent great? or idk if they are they arent interesting? but i think well..........we have more refined palettes :P

jk also theres just different personalities. you and  i mesh more bc we have a lot of the same beliefs and are coming from the same place. that makes it easier to understand as well. i really try to remember that but some people are really weird so. again just...the perception of certain things even down to acting skills. but i also dont like.......believe this genre can really do anything at all. on one hand i want them to do it right bc it’s a piece of work so they should. be proud of it. cos most things arent advancing us bc representation and culturalism are a lie bla bla. it’s just that when the depictions are negative or not done well it adds to the problem as opposed to the things that are well done are fairly benign and can’t really pull us back (perf example is the black panther film. i woudl definitely not say it was transgressive as a literal work but visually it’s just stunning. and it’s sad that it’s stunning and surprising but still with basically an all black cast of mostly dark people abd like what it means in the zeitgeist yes. it’s also just a good movie. but it’s still imperialist prop and unfortunately and this is fucking pathetic to say it “opened eyes” in other countries where they hate black ppl and ignore their own racialized minorities HENNYWAYSSSS a better ex is moonlight except moonlight isnt mainstream and is indie tho...still thru a funnel of capital bc a24 but who cares bleed the fuckers dry is my motto. my point is moonlight is both a great work and doesnt bring any failures to the table and its existence helps in ways outside of art but they arent the defining things giving us material advancement sooooo i mean it’s complex (this is my conclusion to everything um guys it’s complex) 

er i had one more point in conjunction to above. oh yea so i like dont need all these extra things to make it progressive. like people really want more women in the show and i am honestly like i really dont. i dont want them to actively do this. if they cant do it naturally then let someone else do it. i am not asking for more bc i dont want it from them. when something comes along i embrace it but i do not see why women should be represented when the genre RELIES on patriarchy. there is no complete satisfying existence for the women in these series. i dont want it. i dont ask people to show us~*~* or respect~* like fuck no the people who make it make it and hopefully more will make it in the future but i will not beg bc THEY DONT WANT TO DO IT SO WOULD FORCING IT MAKE IT BETTER? just fucking leave them out entirely. that’s the answer if theyre gonna make nasty female characters then those bitches can geaux. we have other plcaes to be. booked. and. BUSY!

[hoseokslefteyebrow]

The Baby Project || M.YG || 21

Pairing : Min Yoongi X Reader

Genre : Fluff

Summary : What happens when you and Yoongi are supposed to take care of a baby for a month?

Wordcount: 0.9k

The Baby Project Masterlist | Next

Taglist :

@joyful-jimin @kisskissshutmydoor @nanie5 @jayhope88 @peachymochimochi

" When is dadda coming home?" Jaehyuk asked as he stopped colouring for a moment.

The both of you were seated at the dining table. You were making your homework while Jaehyuk was colouring in a random colouring book. You and Yoongi had promised him that you'd go to the petting zoo and because of that he's been very excited, not stopping with asking when Yoongi would come back from school. You and Yoongi's extra long holiday was sadly over already, and you were back to school. You had for this week morning classes while Yoongi had afternoon classes. Today he would be done around 14:00, meaning that you woukd still have a few hours to spent at the farm.

You sighed and tried to keep your patience.

" Soon, baby,soon. How is your drawing coming allong?" You asked him, changing the subject.

" I think it looks really good! Look, this is you, and this is dadda! And I also drew a frog!" Jaehyuk smiled and showed you the picture with excitement.

The drawing was barely recognisable, apart from the frog. It had three stick figures, one with a smile and a triangle dress on, one who was asleep, a smaller one who was holding hands with both, and a random frog. What did this boy have with frogs?

You smiled and complemented him on his talent nonetheless.

" Hello? I'm home!" A voice sounded from the doorway.

" Dadda!" Jaehyuk smiled and all but sprinted to Yoongi before jumping on him in a bear hug.

" Hey buddy, have you been nice while I'm away?" Yoongi teased the small boy, who nodded furiously.

" Yes! I made a drawing while mummy was working." Jaehyuk smiled and pointed to the paper on the table.

Yoongi smiled brightly before it fell in a questionable frown.

" Since when is there a frog in the family?"

-

" Mummy hurry up!" Jaehyuk yelled as you were putting your shoes on.

" Yeah mum, hurry up! We want to go see the baby bunnies!" Yoongi teased you, holding Jaehyuk's hand.

" I'd watch it if I were you mr.Min, you might sleep on the couch if you can't behave." You teased him back.

Yoongi held his hands up in surrender as response.

" Let's goo!" Jaehyuk cheered as you all lefr the apartment.

The walk to the petting zoo was peaceful.

" Let's go see the goats!" Jaehyuk cheered as he walked off as soon as you entered the place.

" Hyuk hold up! Don't walk off without us!" Yoongi called after him while you closef the gate of the zoo.

Jaehyuk remained unbothered.

" Look dadda! A donkey!" He smiled, pointing at the animal who was just eating hay. 

Jarhyuk was amazed by everything in the petting zoo, from the donkeys to the chickens and even the hay was interesting for him. You and Yoongi were really just trying not to lose him out of your sight.

" You want to feed the goats Hyuk?" You asked as he saw how other kids were feeding them.

Hyuk nodded enthusiastically.

" Wait here with dad okay? I'll be right back." You smiled at him as he nodded.

While you went to a random stand where they sold small goat food thingies, Jaehyuk stayed with Yoongi.

Yoongi watched Jaehyuk play around with the baby goats with a smile. He knew that he would be gone whitin a month, but he couldn't help but hate the tough of it.

" It's not often that you see a guy going to the petting zoo." A woman with dyed brown hair approached Yoongi with a smile.

Yoongi's expression turned neutral as he turned to her.

" Yeah, well, I'm here with my son." He shrugged.

The woman's smile turned a little wider.

" Awe, that's real cute." 

Yoongi shrugged again and turned away, obviously not intrested in her.

" Hey, um, my name's Lin. Would you maybe like to go out with me sometime?" She asked.

" Nope. I have a girlfriend." He stated bluntly.

Lin blinked before awkwardly shuffling away.

Yoongi turned his attention back to Jaehyuk, suprised to see you holding him while feeding goats.

" Haha, look mummy, that one looks like Milka, let's call him that." Jaehyuk smiled as you held him on your hip while he was feeding the goats. ( And boi, did this little boy grow, he was certainly not as light as Naeun.)

" You were here and didn't even greet me." Yoongi pouted as he approuched you, taking Jaehyuk from you as he saw you struggle.

" You were talking to someone. I didn't want to disturb you." You shrugged.

" She asked me on a date, you know." Yoongi bit his lip, curious of your reaction.

" Okay." 

"Really? Just okay? I tough you were deadass in love with me. " Yoongi said, sort of hurt but not actually hurt but really just curious.

" Yep. I am indeed deadass in love with you. And I'm in a relationship with you. In other words, I trust you." You winked at him.

Yoongi smiled cheekily and blushed a bit, happy with your answer. He bit his lip before silently kissing your cheek.

You blushed in response while Yoongi turned away nonchalantly.

" Let's go see the pretty birds now buddy."

Meanwhile Lin watched silently from a distance, not even feeling bad because he turned her down harshly. Because how did you manage to make him this flustered?

[ A/N: Yes folks I finally updated lol. I have sad news for y'all, because of the quarantine, all office plants have probably died. :(. Also, warning: This story is nearing it's end ;). PS, HAVE Y'ALL SEEN DAECHWITA. I USUALLY DON'T CUSS IN THIS STORY BUT THAT SONG IS BATSHIT CRAZY AND I FUCKIN LOVE IT. ]

[bssaz97]

After knowing what Jaune (D Arc) did to Ironwood and his men do you think Cinder would try doing the same thing Jaune went through but it goes horribly wrong?

Jaune D’ Arc part 2

Weiss: Let me get this straight. After you were captured, they took you to Salem’s castle.

Jaune: Mm-Hmm.

Weiss: Where it was revealed to you that you are a descendants of one of Salem and Ozma’s once thought to be dead children.

Jaune: Yep.

Weiss: So because of that she tried to convince you to join her side and rule as her heir. But you said she could, and I quote-

Jaune/Weiss: “Go fuck herself and her batshit crazy ass cult!”

Jaune: Yes I did say all of that.

Qrow: But because she didn’t like that answer she had you transferred to Watts’ secured hideout laboratory.

Jaune: Ohhh yeah you should have seen the look on their faces. Especially Cindy, bitch was about to blow a gasket. But anyway, continue.

Qrow: Right...so after you were brought to the lab, where Watts tortured you behind Salem’s back and tried to pry information out of you about the rest of us.

Jaune: Damn. Right.

Ren: When all that failed, Arthur decided to do try another test which involved putting you in the tube that we found you in. Which was filled with...I’m sorry what did you call it?

Jaune: Red shit. But I’m also pretty much it was Grimm essence.

Weiss: And you survived that, how?

Jaune: I’m assuming my semblance.

Weiss/Qrow/Ren: Ah. Right.

Nora: But if you’re semblance saved you, why do you look like a scary boy Salem?

Jaune: Well while my semblance kept me alive. Didn’t really do much else to stop the effects of the red shit changing my body. Eventually my body and semblance was changed to the point where I could barely recognize myself. Also I now need to absorb the aura of others to fuel my own and my current mental health is pretty fucked if I do say so myself, but what else is new am I right?

Everyone: .....

Jaune: Ok joke didn’t work. Got it.

Ruby: Jaune.....Do you know if...this is permanent or not?

Jaune: Well. It’s supposed to be an almost exact same liquid from the pool that changed Salem to what she is now soooooo I’m gonna assume that this is not reversible.

Ruby: Oh...

Jaune: .....does it really bother you?

Ruby: What! No! Jaune, I’m happy to have you back alive! You have no idea how much everyone missed you, how I missed you. I just wanted to know if you are ok with these changes.

Jaune: .....no. But I don’t really have much choice in the matter anymore so I guess I’ll just have to live with it. But anyway that’s my story.

Qrow: Well kid, you’ve been through a helluva experience. Come on, let’s get going before anybody else gets here.

Jaune: That sounds great. How do we do that?

Ruby: We were able to get ahold of a Manta to get here. Now come on let’s get out of here. *Takes his hand but feels him not moving * Huh? Jaune?

Jaune: Actually.....I have a better idea.

He walks over to Ironwood’s unconscious body.

Jaune: Hey Jimmy how’s it going? You look great! Say I was wondering, do you mind if we borrow your ride? No you don’t mind. Great! You’re a pal! *Reaches into Ironwood’s coat and pulled out a keycard.*

Weiss: Jaune! What are you doing?!

Jaune: Getting us a new ride!

Time Skip; Elsewhere....

Salem: WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE’S GONE?!!!

Salem’s faction are all present in the War Room when Arthur had arrived to inform Salem of recent events. So naturally she was very displeased by the news.

Arthur: Uh, well...you see your grace, he didn’t actually escape rather he was.....recovered by the Rose child’s group. *Salem stood right in front of him*

Salem: Really? Very well then, for my next question I want to know as to WHY YOU LET THEM TAKE MY HEIR?!

Arthur: They caught me off guard you see! I was just doing my normal procedures-

Cinder: You mean dancing in your lab?

Arthur: My NORMAL procedures! And then suddenly the little ginger hell spawn bombed my facility.

Salem: And instead of securing my heir, ensuring that OUR ENEMIES do not get a hold of him.....what did you do?

Arthur: Um well.....you see.....I-

Mercury: Hid in his safe room like a bitch!

Emerald: MERC!

Salem: No! That’s quite alright young Sustrai, I believe that perfectly explains the behavior of our dear doctor here. *She stood up as her back faced the outside windows* So tell me Arthur, how are you going to make this up to me?

Arthur: *sweating* I can assure you my grace! I will retrieve the Arc, you see I installed a tracking device on his person after-! *Stops himself*

Salem: .....I’m sorry. What was that last part Arthur? *Side glances him*

Arthur: Well...forgive me your grace but I feel I should confess that.....I may have withheld some information about the Arc boy’s status at my facility.

Salem: Status...

Arthur: *Sweating profusely* He’s Fine! Really he’s just fine!.....for the most part. AH! *Magically pulled towards Salem, where she grabbed his shirt*

Salem: What did you do?

Arthur: N-Nothing life threatening! I think...

Salem: What did you do?

Arthur: I.....may have dabbled a little into..... Grimm Essence Research while he was at my facility.

Salem: .*Her eyes widened* ....what?

Arthur: But he’s fine! He survived the procedure perfectly. Honestly you should have seen the results, now he looks more like your descendant than ev-WAH! *Gets slammed into the front glass panel, causing multiple cracks to form*

Salem: Don’t you think that if I wanted him to be like me. I would have asked you to make so?

Arthur: You know I’m suddenly starting to realize that.

Salem: How much?

Arthur: W-What?

Salem: How much of the Grimm essence did you give him?

Arthur: uuuuuuuuuhhhh.

Salem: Arthur.....

Arthur: I put him in a tank of it.

Salem: YOU FOOL! *Throws him across the room, hitting the opposite wall*

Tyrian: Hehehehehehehe! Oh what fun we’re having today!

Emerald: Cinder, shouldn’t we try to stop her? I mean he is our only tech support.

Cinder: Shh! Not yet. I want to see how far she goes.

The negative aura surrounding the Grimm Queen seemed to emit off her person as she slowly walked towards Arthur. This caused him to scrabbles to steady himself on the wall, fear for his life very much on his mind.

Arthur: W-W-Wait! Your grace, I promise you we get him back!

Salem: It’s far too late for that Arthur. Even if you can track him down, you’ll never be able to recapture him. After all, if he’s anything like me now he’ll most likely try and succeed to kill you and anyone you send after him.

Arthur: Your Grace! I implore you, beg you to give me another chance. Have I ever failed you before!

Salem: .......You make a point. You’ve been faithful up until now, therefore I shall let you keep your life.

Arthur: *Sighs in relief* Thank you my grace...

Salem: But fail me again Arthur.....and I shall fill these very walls with your blood.

Arthur: ...I understand your grace.

Salem: Now go on then, it seems like you have some searching to do.....oh and take Tyrian and Cinder with you. Just to ensure you do not fail me again, right Arthur?

Arthur: Y-Yes your grace, we won’t fail! Come along Tyrian, Cinder.

The three followers and two subordinates of Salem make their way out of the room. Once they make it down the hall. They enter a second room where they can plan their operation.

Arthur: Alright everyone, since we all have our assignment from her Grace. I think it’s best we find out leads as to where the target is going.

Cinder: Before we do anything! Why don’t you show us exactly what you’ve been up to, do you have any record of the breakout?

Arthur: I do. But I must insist that we-

Cinder: You just claimed to have turned Jaune Arc into a replica of Salem, I think I speak for everyone here that I’m curious to know in what regard you meant.

Tyrian: I wouldn’t mind seeing for myself either of how the boy has been blessed by our goddess.~ I say role the tape!

Arthur: ‘Heavy Sigh’ Very well. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you...

Five Minutes Later....

Jaune: *in recording* What’s wrong Jimmy?! You were talking good shit a second ago! Why don’t you have one of your dead men give you a new arm?! I’m sure they gladly do it as they now have plenty to give.

Arthur at this point decided to pause the video as he’s sure everyone got the message. He turns to look at everyone and sees they have a variety of expressions. Cinder and Mercury have a pale expression of shock and fright on their faces, while Emerald had stopped watching halfway through the video to puke in the corner. Tyrian had a sickening gleeful expression as if he was watching a blockbuster movie. But that face dropped when the video ended.

Tyrian: Hey! Why did you stop it? It was getting to the good part!

Cinder: This.....is Jaune Arc?

Arthur: Unfortunately, yes.

Cinder: Watts.....BY THE GODS WHAT IN WORLD POSSESSED YOU TO CREATE THIS MONSTROSITY!!! AND WHY GIVE IT TO HIM OF ALL PEOPLE?!!!

Arthur: Look here! I don’t need anyone else here to tell me when I clearly have made a misjudgment!

Mercury: Doc this isn’t a misjudgment, this is a complete fuckin’ disaster! We already had one Salem on our backs, NOW WE GOT TWO OF EM!

Arthur: Look it’s not that bad!

Emerald: ‘Huff!’ Not that bad?! That.....THING turned a group of Atlesian specialists into burger meat! And you want US to go up against THAT! We’re going die!

Arthur: Don’t you think I’m already aware of that! I’m not even sure if sending a maiden will be enough to stop him! But I obviously cannot do this by myself!

Cinder: .....Then why don’t we even the odds.

Arthur/Mercury/Emerald: What?

Cinder: You were able to accomplish this process once. Couldn’t you do it again?

Emerald: Cinder. You’re not actually-?

Cinder: Power is power. And if I’m right that means if someone else had any similar abilities as him, they would be able to overpower him. Right?

Arthur: .....It’s possible. However I highly recommend that you don’t undergo such a procedure.

Cinder: And why not?! If you’re not confident in your own work than what’s to stop me from-

Arthur: I don’t doubt my work! It’s the person I’m concerned over.

Cinder: What?

Arthur: You see this isn’t the first time I’ve dabbled into this kind of research. It’s only the first success.

Cinder: You’ve done this before?

Arthur: Yes.....it’s been a pet project of mine for sometime. However, I rarely ever had any test subjects survive. Those that do.....well they are far from ever being human again.

Cinder: How?

Arthur: Well most that do undergo the procedure, turn out to be more Grimm-like than desirable. They become mindless beasts that slowly decay into nothing.

Everyone: .....

Mercury: Oum, how long have you been doing this for?!

Arthur: About three to four years give or take.

Cinder: If that’s the case. Why shouldn’t I undergo the procedure?

Arthur: Do you really think Salem would accept or be pleased that I turned her Fall Maiden into a mindless beast?

Cinder: If Someone by the likes of Jaune Arc could survive, then so can I!

Arthur: Absolutely not! I already have her eyes behind my back, do you want me to kill myself!

Cinder: I can take it by force if I have to! I have magic!

Arthur: You wouldn’t survive!

Cinder: AND WHY NOT?!

Arthur: Because you lack a sense of humanity!

Cinder: *confused* What?!

Arthur: This procedure isn’t just about the physical capability of the recipient but the mental as well. You think it’s only a coincidence that someone like Jaune Arc survives solely for his semblance and genealogy to Salem?

Cinder: Oh you’ve got to be kidding? You’re telling me that the reason he survived and became this way is because of his humanity!

Arthur: .....As much as I despise the notion yes. Also they have to be a virgin.

Cinder: Watts, you damn well!

Arthur: Thought but didn’t want to assume. But I’m afraid I can’t allow you to undergo the procedure. You’re too important to the mission and we both know we shouldn’t give it to Tyrian. *Both look at the crazed scorpion licking his blades*

Cinder: Point taken.

Arthur: Yes, for this procedure we require someone who is.....expendable. *Looks at the two others in the room.*

Emerald: .....Why is he looking at us like that?

Mercury: Because we’re fucked.

End of Part 2.

Had fun writing this one and I hope you guys enjoyed!

[snarkwriteswrasslin]

FFT: dark as night; jon moxley

Notes: 

This one.. this was sent to my main by @rampagewriting​ and I enjoyed writing every second of it. It fits into the roommates version of events that I had planned out for Mox and Jane, so I kinda rolled with it.

Summary:

Jane is stuck at home in bad weather. A drunk Mox arrives home early. Misunderstandings are had and things are revealed.

Pairing:

Jon Moxley x OFC, Jane - from my various universes with these two in them.

Warning:

alcohol tw, fluff, mentions of a storm, suspense.

The thunder had her jumping and a split second away from shrieking. Jane had never particularly liked storms. And this one had been brewing for hours now, getting nastier and nastier with each one that passed.

She found herself eyeing the time on the microwave and then almost reaching for her cell phone.. Mox was 2 hours away, doing a show at some little armory tonight. He’d be driving back in the worst of the shit -more than likely drunk off his ass, and that worried her.

← Be careful on your way back. This storm is getting worse by the minute.

←(Draft) I know it’s not my business but like.. I’d really appreciate it if you  didn’t drink an entire bar like you usually do if you wind up having to drive back tonight.. Again, not my business I just… I don’t want anything to happen to you..

She eyed the text in the box and sighed, erasing everything but the part where she told him to be careful on his way back. Any more than that and if he was in a mood, he’d probably think she was bitching at him or something and she  really didn’t have a cause or claim to even say anything.

Sure, they were old friends, but they were only just reconnecting and slowly starting to get a little bit close again like they used to be as kids… She wasn’t his girlfriend or family, so she had no right to suggest or ask him not to do something.

She hesitated for a good five seconds over even sending one  of the texts. Would he feel like she was nagging or invading his personal space? She didn’t want to come off that way.

Sending only  the first text she’d written, Jane put her phone down on the counter, and almost immediately, thunder struck hard enough that the floor beneath her feet rattled. “Damn it.”

She’d always hated storms. She hated them even worse now if she were to be perfectly honest with herself. Especially tonight, this storm.

Knowing Mox was out in this tonight had her just a shade more tense than she’d normally be. Knowing he’d probably drink while driving back in this tonight did not help at all. Taking a few deep breaths, Jane worked on settling herself down.

Mox’s actions were out of her control; even if sometimes the shit he did worried her and made her want to tell him to knock it the fuck off because every time something happened to him it scared her a little bit. He was who he was and she loved him exactly the way he was.

The thought was a sobering one and it was enough to stop her mid rummage through the pantry for something quick to eat for herself.

“Fuck.. I’m in love with him..”

The lights flickered a little and Jane’s breath caught for a split second. When she banged her side into the counter in their cramped kitchen, she swore and winced, lifting her shirt to look down at her side.

“Yep, that’s probably gonna leave a mark.”

X

“Hey  Mox, your fucking phone is going batshit. Take it.” almost as soon as Mox walked through the hallway and stepped into the little room that the other wrestlers were milling around in, waiting to go out for their matches, one of  the valets shoved his phone at him and Mox stared at it a few seconds, caught up in the picture he’d chosen for his wallpaper.

It was a picture of Jane, an old friend and currently, his room mate. … and idiot, ya  fallin for her all over again… his brain reminded him.

He unlocked the phone and saw that she’d texted him. Glancing around to make sure no one saw him and got nosy as all fuck, Mox  texted her back.

→Be careful on your way back. This storm is getting worse by the minute.

She’d sent the text about thirty minutes ago, during his first match of the night. He felt bad about leaving it on read, so after a second or two, he answered back.

← I make no promises. Stay put tonight, yeah?

Rather than send it straight away, he spent a minute or two agonizing over and changing the text countless times, finally re entering the first thing he’d thought to type. It was safe. Safer than what he considered putting,  which was something along the lines of telling her if it got too bad she could call him.. That he’d actually like it if she did.

Because only a boyfriend got that right and  the way Mox saw it, he might not ever be a good enough candidate to call himself that where Jane was concerned.

“Hey man, you wanna grab a few drinks before we head back?”

“Nah. I think I’m just gonna go back, Callihan.” Mox’s turning down drinks prompted Sami to study his friend with a curious gleam in his eyes as he rubbed his chin.

He burst into laughter as soon as he really thought about it and realized exactly why Mox was turning down drinks and clapping his hand down upon Mox’s injured shoulder -which prompted Mox to swear for about a minute and a through gritted teeth, he told Mox, “Finally. I thought I wasn’t ever gonna see th’ day Jon Moxley met a girl capable of tamin his wild ass.. Is it that cute little teacher ya got livin at your place now? Jane, that’s her name, right?”

“Shut the fuck up, Callihan, it ain’t like that. Just tired, damn.”

“And grumpy.  That definitely tells me it’s exactly like that by the way.” Sami was having a field day with it and when Mox shoved the keys at him, he took them and went quiet.

He could tell it already had the bastard up in arms enough already. No sense in making Mox mean for the duration of the two hour drive  they had ahead of them. “I’m gonna stop for a case.”

“Whatever man, I’m just fuckin ready to go.”

X

The storm raged on outside and Jane realized that her  relaxing soak in the tub was not an option. She’d just stepped out of the tub and wrapped a towel around herself when the whole apartment went pitch black.

“Fuck my life.”

Jane had never liked the dark, not at all.

Rather than get dressed, Jane stumbled around the little apartment in the dark digging around for candles, flashlights, anything to help get just a little light into the place.

Naturally, Mox was not the kind of guy who kept candles.

Or flashlights, apparently.

“I am.. Buying that man a Mag Lite, I swear to God.” Jane managed to bang her shin into the couch and she was in the midst of hopping around on one foot after stubbing her toe a second time when she heard the door knob to their apartment rattling.

She swallowed hard, glancing in it’s general direction.

… i swear to God, it better not be someone breaking in… only my luck…

Her phone was almost dead and she’d left it in the bathroom, sitting on the counter. If she started using it for a flashlight, she wouldn’t have any battery left if say Mox wound up in a bar fight or an accident or something else of  that nature.

… you don’t even know he’d call you anyway…

… but still, if something happens, you’d want to know.. Better to save the battery and put on those big girl panties than to run the damn phone down using it as a flashlight…

The doorknob was still rattling and Jane didn’t think, she just stepped into the hallway leading back to the bedrooms and bathroom, flattening herself against the wall, her hand finding the handle of a bat Mox kept lying around.

Just as the door burst open and whoever had been swearing under their breath outside in the hall stepped in, lightning lit up the sky just enough to show that the person was wearing a bloodstained tee shirt and holding something in their  right hand.

The intruder took a step forward, Jane took a step back and raised the bat slightly. “You… better stay back..”

Mox chuckled and reached for her when the next clap of thunder had her screaming and that only freaked her out more, making her step further out of his reach. It didn’t occur to him that thanks to a blood stained tee shirt, she probably had all sorts of scary thoughts running through her head right now on top of an already present overwhelming fear of any sort of bad weather and the dark.

“Ain’t g-gonna hurt ya.” the intruder raised his hands, waving them almost defensively.

“Yeah, right.. Bet you said that to whoever’s blood is all over your shirt too. If you’re smart you’ll get the fuck outta here now because..” Jane hesitated a second, raising her bat, stepping away more when the intruder stepped a little closer and raised an arm.

Her back hit the wall at the end of  the hallway and she gulped. She only had another step and she’d be in the bathroom but the way the intruder was pressing in against her was kind of trapping her between his body and the door  her back was against.

“Because why?”

“My boyfriend.. He’s sleepin and if I scream,  he’s gonna wake up and when that happens.. You’re as good as fucked.”

Mox raised a brow, almost snickering but resisting the urge. Having had about  a third of the bottle of whiskey in his hand right now, it was more amusing to him than anything and he really wasn’t thinking about what Jane might be afraid was happening right now, otherwise, he wouldn’t have done it.

“Go on and laugh. But when Mox is beating the shit out of  you you won’t be.”

Now that.. That was more than enough to sober Jon Moxley right up. And yeah, leave him temporarily speechless. But only temporarily. That cocky side took over and he smirked to himself in the darkness. “Wouldn’t want that, would I?”

“No, you wouldn’t.” Jane was about to step into the bathroom. Her phone was in there. If she could just get to it, she could call Mox and alert him, warn him what was happening so maybe he’d avoid it.

… or alternately, he’ll come rushing into your rescue.. Because that’s what you  fantasize about, right?… her mind nagged at her, but fight or flight was kicking in and Jane had to act soon. If not whatever happened to the person whose blood was spattered all over the intruder’s shirt  would happen to her.

And given the sheer volume, Jane wasn’t really fond of the idea of an almost certain death.

She raised the bat and his hand found her wrist, lowering it, prying her fingers from around the handle. Jane screamed and screamed as if her life depended on it and the intruder was laughing. “This isn’t..” Jane was pushing back against the door covertly and hoping that just this once it would fly open for her, letting out a ragged breath when it actually did, “Fucking funny. And it definitely won’t be just as soon as…” she stepped into the bathroom, slamming the door between herself and the intruder, sitting with her back wedged right up against it after hurrying to grab her phone off the countertop.

The door knob rattled and rattled and she could feel the door being pushed on from the other side.

← Mox

← so someone broke in  I think… look, make the block or something instead of coming straight here.  I’ll call 911 but… I just..

← I don’t want anything happening to you, alright?

Outside the bathroom door, the muffled sound of the factory ringer for Jon’s cell phone started to play and Mox scratched the back of his head, the glow of the screen lighting up the darkness.

He eyed the bathroom door and called through it, “If ya just open the fuckin door..”

“I’m calling the cops.  When my boyfriend and the cops get through with your ass..” Jane started, but then the sound of Mox’s ringtone… In the apartment..

Jane bit her lip and eyed the door.

She did a quick check of her battery power and the time and raised a brow. The show still had another hour to go because Jane just didn’t seen Jon Moxley getting eliminated, not as good as he was or as well as he knew the ring,  himself and his opponent. “What the..” she trailed off, hesitating when she heard it again.

Outside the bathroom door, Mox’s eyes darted over the texts she’d sent and he glanced up from his phone to look at the door, trying to wrap his head around the fact that Jane essentially sent him a text.. Warning him away from danger.

← Mox

← so someone broke in  I think… look, make the block or something instead of coming straight here.  I’ll call 911 but… I just..

← I don’t want anything happening to you, alright?

… the fuck was she gonna do for herself? Hope t’ fuck nothin happened or nobody kicked in the door?… she knows the cops don’t give two shits about what goes down on this side of town…

Hearing Jon’s cell phone going off in the apartment made Jane bolder. “You’re in deep shit now.”

She noticed it then, the door handle wasn’t rattling and the intruder wasn’t pushing at the door to try and get into the room with her.

She held her breath, waited for about a minute and rose to her feet.

Just to be safe, she picked up the glass vase her makeup brushes sat in. It might not do a whole lot in the way of damage to someone intending to do her harm but… It would give her time to run.

“This shit.. This is why girls like me die in horror movies.” she muttered mostly to herself just before flinging the door open. Just as the door swung open, the lights came on and Jane was greeted by the sight of Mox standing against the wall, staring at the screen of his cell phone with a far away and thoughtful look in his eyes.

“J-jon?”

Mox’s head snapped up and he bit back the urge to make a suggestive comment at the fact that she was apparently wandering around their apartment in one of the smaller bath towels.. Her hair still damp from a shower she’d probably taken just before he got in and the power went out.

… c’mon goddamn, work brain, work mouth.. Anythin?…

“ So I’m ya boyfriend now?”

“I..” it hit her then that Mox had been the intruder the entire time and she doubled over, laughing so hard that she actually snorted a time or two. “It was you?”

Mox knew her like the back of her hand. He knew her well enough to know that the laughter was her, deflecting. He stepped closer, a hand resting at her side, squeezing her hip. He cupped her jaw with the other hand, guiding her eyes up to meet his.  “It’s kinda funny yeah, but.. Ya ain’t answered my question yet, doll… I’m ya boyfriend now, hmm?”

Jane’s laughter died away and she gulped, staring at his eyes, then his lips. Her mouth opened and closed a time or two but no words were coming. Nothing.

“I…”

“C’mon doll..  Don’t avoid my question. I mean..” he took a calculated risk and stepped closer to her, his hips against hers as he did it and he leaned down slightly, his mouth hovering just above her own. He licked his lips and muttered quietly, “Ya texted me before ya even thought about the cops, woman.. To warn me away.. Makes me think if ya didn’t feel somethin..” and he went quiet, not wanting to say too much.

There was a slim chance that he was too caught up in the moment, being too cocky and totally misreading the situation and the signs as they presented  themselves to him now  with shocking clarity.

Jane sighed and bit her lip, her heart beating so fast she thought it’d explode at any second. She’d pretty much given herself away.

Might as well come clean, get the whole awkward rejection part over with.

“Oh I do. More than you know.”

Her words shocked him and the shock registered quite visibly on his face. But in a split second, that shocked widening of his eyes was gone and in it’s place he was super focused, staring intently at her mouth as the hand on her hip crept down and squeezed a hand full of her ass through the towel when he hauled her completely against him. “How long, hmm?”

“How long what?”

“How long ya felt… whatever ya feel?”

“The honest answer?”

“Yeah.”

“Started when we were thirteen.. Then kinda… intensified when I answered your roommate ad a few months ago.” Jane dared to inch her lips closer to his. Her fingers went to his hair and the hem of his shirt as she grimaced at the blood spatter on the front.

In the light it wasn’t nearly as bad as she thought.

Mox took the hint and tugged his shirt over his head, muttering an apology before sliding her up his body and pressing her back against the wall. The second her mouth met his and her teeth sank into his lower lip he growled and started to kiss back; harder and deeper, his hands and fingers all over her, digging itno her hip at one point and earning him a hiss.

“Bumped into the damn counter in the dark a little while ago.” she explained it quickly, a quiet giggle.

“Shit.. Sorry.” he deepened the kiss even more and then mumbled against her mouth, “If being ya boyfriend ends up with gettin kissed like this.. Or you greetin me in a towel when I come home.. Don’t think I mind it at all, darlin.”

[captainillogical]

Devil’s Ballroom Ch.7

A year after the events from the earth’s final attack, Little Homeworld is finally complete, and there’s a new jazz bar where gems and humans mingle and drink. - As you’re typing back a reply, someone pulls the stool out next to you and takes a seat. You see a sliver of pink out of the corner of your eye as you try not to actually Look. Oh god. It’s her. God can’t help us now.

Spinel/Reader

collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants​

ya’ll im sorry lmao

You spend the rest of your evening doing exactly none of the errands that you needed to deal with today. Instead, you're laying on your couch and texting your friends.

         Y/N: I'm so tornnnn.

     Y/N: Do I say something about the cheek smooch?

     Y/N: Should I leave it be?

     Y/N: Because she's texting like nothing happened.

     Y/N: What if I'm reading too much into it??

     Y/N: What if that's just how she shows friendship affection???

     Y/N: I might make it so fucking awkward if I assume something!

     Y/N: This entire ordeal is mortifying!!!

     Y/N: I want nothing more than to dig a big hole and lie in it forever.

     Y/N: I might be low-key having a panic attack about this rn but what's new.

     Harper: Y/N. chill. you're way overreacting to this.

     Harper: even if it meant nothing, she still likes you as a friend right?

     Harper: i think it would take a lot for her to like.. not wanna stay friends lol.

     Alex: im just saying you could probably kiss her and she'd be ok with it

     Alex: cheek kisses are pretty forward

     Harper: don't listen to him. all of his relationships ended in failure.

     Alex: wow

     Alex: im seriously hurt

     Harper: am I wrong?

     Alex: no..

     Harper: my point exactly.

     Harper: i’m not saying you have nothing to lose or anything.

     Harper: because i myself had to tread very carefully with leah..

     Harper: but i think you should just see where it goes and not like

     Harper: put too much emphasis on this incase it was nothing.

     Y/N: Yeah see now you have me worried it WAS nothing!!

     Alex: oh my goooooooddddddddddddddd

     Alex: the both of you approach women so.. pathetically

     Alex: take a risk

     Alex: live a little

     Alex: what is seriously the worst that could happen

     Alex: she kills you??

     Alex: lmao

     Alex: its funny cuz of.. you know

     Harper: i can’t wait to be home and smothering him with a pillow instead of affection.

     Y/N: You and me both.

     Y/N: Try being the only one available to play games with him.

     Alex: both of you fucking love me okay

     Alex: alsooooooo i get to be home the day after tomorrow

     Alex: the alex is back, babieeeeee

     Y/N: Harper please come home I’m BEGGING you.

     Harper: sorry you gotta deal with him alone for another month lmao.

     Y/N: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

     Alex: can i get a fucking crumb of love here please

         You swipe over to the couple of messages Spinel has left you in the past couple of minutes while you were talking to your friends.

         Spinel: It’s another stupid ball, I just found out.

     Spinel: I told her that I’m sitting this one out this time.

     Spinel: She has so many others that would absolutely love to help her, and yet, still absolutely insists that I must be there.

     Spinel: I don’t want to go back to homeworld right now, and not for this.

     Y/N: And you put your foot down? Hell yeah, dude.

     Y/N: Planning a ball for a bunch of gems sounds like a chore anyway.

     Spinel: oh, it is, believe me.

     Spinel: And they need everything to be PERFECT.

     Spinel: Which isn’t realistic anymore now that they don’t expect any of the gems to stay in line with their gem class nowadays.

     Spinel: The last ball they threw almost 4 months ago was utterly chaotic.

     Y/N: For thousands of years y'all as a race never pushed to deviate from the norm, and now that you guys are allowed to? I’d go batshit with it too.

     Y/N: Being stifled in everyday life, and finally you’re free?

     Y/N: Fuck, I’d go around fusing with anyone!

     Spinel: That is precisely what too many of them did.

     Y/N: Lmao. I wish I could’ve seen that.

         You tab back over to your group chat for a moment to see what they’re talking about.

         Harper: see? they’re everywhere.

     Harper: i wasn’t expecting the campsite to have so many.

     Alex: you could have built an army and instead you took pictures

     Alex: do you know how easy it is to lure chipmunks?

     Alex: oh that lil guy on the bottom right is so fucking chunky i love him

     Harper: that’s the one that got the closest when i fed them. :3

     Alex: oh i fuckin BET

     Alex: you dont get that chubby in the wild without takin a few risks

     Alex: if u know what i mean ;)

     Harper: i hate whatever you just implied.

     Y/N: It’s not a conversation with Alex unless you roll your eyes at least 3 times.

     Alex: hey i thought it was 4 times

     Alex: dont insult me

     Alex: anyway, y/n

     Alex: are you workin the day i come back

     Y/N: Yeah I’m actually scheduled a double.

     Alex: scheduled

     Y/N: Yes.

     Alex: a double

     Y/N: Yes.

     Alex: he can’t SCHEDULE you a DOUBLE

     Y/N: He can if he asks me ahead of time as a favor.

     Alex: that fuckin bastard

     Alex: always ruining my plans

     Harper: you’re still mad at him for firing you last summer, huh.

     Alex: OF COURSE I AM

     Y/N: Bro you stole like $300 of cotton candy sugar that summer.

     Y/N: It’s only fair.

     Y/N: Besides, I’m only doing this because he said he’d give me a long weekend for it.

     Alex: kay well

     Alex: i guess i’ll just go bug you at work and wait for you to get off that day :'(

     Y/N: Get me written up again, I swear to god.

         Your phone chimes several times, and you swipe down to see messages from both Spinel and Steven. You check Spinel's first.

         Spinel: Do me a favor and ignore any messages Steven has sent you.

     Y/N: What are you, my boss?

     Spinel: I MEAN IT

         You quickly switch over to Steven's texts.

         Steven: I was going to ask you if your date with Spinel went okay, but I'm assuming it went fine considering she hasn't really stopped talking about you.

         Ohhhh my god, this is wild. You reply to him.

         Y/N: It wasn't a date as far as I know.

     Y/N: I had fun.

     Y/N: She's telling me to not read your messages, lmao.

     Y/N: Also what do you mean she hasn't stopped talking about me??

     Steven: She’s been lying on my floor for the last hour basically gushing about you.

     Steven: But you didn’t hear that from me!

     Steven: :D

     Y/N: Haha thanks, kid.

         You switch back over to text Spinel, and get up off the couch to make yourself some tea. Pulling out your kettle, you turn the stove on and grab some raspberry flavored abomination tea bag that your dad loves more than any of the other good tea flavors.

         Y/N: Sooooo.

     Spinel: You talked to him, didn’t you.

     Y/N: Hahaha noooo. :)

     Spinel: The fuck did he say?

     Y/N: Absolutely nothing.

     Spinel: Seriously? I was sure he’d reveal something embarrassing.

     Y/N: Nope! You should probably get off his floor eventually, though.

         Your kettle goes off and you grab a clean mug, and pour the boiling water into it along with the tea packet. You look down at your phone, and grin.

         Spinel: goddammit.

         You let the bag steep for a little bit, and add in a small amount of sugar. Walking up to your bedroom you take a snap of Jellybean half lounging, half falling off the stairs and send it to Spinel. She replies with a couple heart emojis, and you wonder if Steven was the one to show her the proper use of them. You set your cup of tea down on your desk, and turn your computer on. It’s evening now, and it’s much too late to do anything left with the rest of your day productivity-wise, so you settle in on playing more minecraft. Your thoughts wander quite a bit, and you find yourself stuck on thinking about Spinel. Naturally. You wonder about a lot of things she’s learned while staying on earth, from things like - does she pay rent? Does she have a job? Does she know what taxes are? Does she know what a relationship with a human looks like? She said she watched a movie, but didn’t exactly elaborate. You don’t know what human-norms she’s been exposed to. You can’t even concentrate enough to mine any of this redstone for Alex, and you nearly die in-game when the thought of ‘does she know what sex is?’ pops into your mind. You grab your phone and shoot Spinel another message.

         Y/N: Quick question.

     Y/N: If you don’t mind me asking.

         It takes her a few minutes to reply.

         Spinel: Sure?

     Y/N: Do you know how humans are made?

     Spinel: w

     Spinel: Yes?

     Spinel: Steven told me about it a few weeks ago actually.

     Spinel: Why are you asking?

     Y/N: No reason! Just curious is all.

     Spinel: Hm.

         Yeah you’re not too confident that she actually knows, and you’re too chickenshit to elaborate right now. You’ll enlighten her later. You spend the rest of the night browsing memes on your phone, and texting your friends and Spinel on occasion. Before you know it, your eyes drift close with your phone in hand.

     You wake up when your alarm goes off for your morning shift, and curse at yourself for not charging it last night. It’s at a solid 32%, which isn’t really enough to go about your day, but you’ll have to make do. You get ready for a hopefully not shitty day, lock up the house, and head in to work.

     It’s a complete shitshow when you come in, and you turn your phone off to save battery and concentrate on dealing with more than an average amount of tourists. You find Mr. Smiley sleeping in the breakroom/office/supply closet, and have half a mind to lock him in there from the outside for the rest of your shift. It’s pretty busy, and messy, and it isn’t until you’re there for several exhausting hours that you finally have enough time for a break. You turn your phone on, and instantly you’re flooded with messages from several different people. Ugh.

           A couple from your dad - just checking in, really. Group chat too as usual, but none of it seems overly important. One from Spinel, and several from Steven. You open up Spinel’s message first.

         Spinel: Do you think we could talk about a couple of things later?

         Vague, and a little concerning. You text back an apology for getting back to her so late, and open the messages from Steven.

         Steven: Hey are you busy?

     Steven: I’m dealing with a bit of a situation right now, and could use your help.

     Steven: Spinel locked herself in my bathroom, and she won’t come out.

     Steven: She refuses to answer to anyone, and several of us have tried.

     Steven: I’m just really worried about her, and you guys seemed to bond, so I was hoping..

     Steven: That maybe you could come over?

     Steven: Thanks regardless.

         You check the timestamp, and that was over an hour ago. Jesus christ.

         Y/N: Steven I’m so sorry, my phone was off and I’m at work, give me a few and I’ll be right over, okay?

     Y/N: I’ll be quick.

         He replies almost immediately with a “please” and you pocket your phone. You try not to worry too hard about Spinel as you rush over to grab your things, and knock on Mr. Smiley’s office/broom closet door. He opens it groggily, clearly just waking up.

     “Yeah?” he slowly blinks at you.

     “I gotta leave early. Emergency.” You stare at him, trying to not be pissed at his lack of work ethic.

     “Are you for real? You’ve got another 3 hours left.” He says and crosses his arms, and you glare at him.

     “I’ve been working my ass off while you’ve been sleeping this whole time, AND I’m covering your ass tomorrow so you can go meet your old friend! So the LEAST you can do is let me go early when I have an emergency!!!” You almost yell out at him, and he holds his hands up in defense.

     “Okay, okay! Fine. Only because you’re a good worker.” He says, and has the gall to look at least a little ashamed of himself.

     “Damn right I am.” You spin around and head out of the building, practically running.

     You almost trip and bite it several times on the way over to Steven’s place, but you’re more worried about Spinel. You’ve only been to his place twice, but once you’re there you run up the stairs and open the door without knocking. You’re greeted by the only two people in the living room, Pearl, and Steven.

         “Oh, she’s here!” Pearl says and nudges Steven, who looks up from typing on his phone.

     “Y/N! Thank god you’re here.” He says with furrowed eyebrows.

     “What happened?” You say and shut the door, and cross the room over to him.

     “I’m not sure! We were just working on something together for Amethyst, and she got a call from Blue and Yellow. She’s been ignoring them lately, and they’ve been bothering me in turn because of that, so I asked her to take the call just see what they want.” He runs his hand through his brown curls, and just for a moment, you see that 12 year old him in again. The obvious stress masks just how young he really is, and you feel bad that he can’t live life like a normal kid. “She went outside to take the call, and was out there for quite a while. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but I did hear some yelling. And just when I was going over to make sure they were alright, she comes back in tears, eyes spiraling like months ago, and nearly knocks Pearl over rushing into the bathroom.”

     “And nothing since?” You inquire, fidgeting with your hands.

     “No,” He says, frustratedly. “I’ve been trying to reach the diamonds to see what this is all about, but I’ve only been getting the pearls. I don’t know what to do. She hasn’t been like this in months. What were they talking about to make her this upset?”

     “Maybe I can find out. You said she’s in your bathroom?” You raise an eyebrow at him.

     “Yeah, the one right over here.” He says and points to it.

     “Is it locked?” You ask.

     “No,” Pearl glances towards the bathroom door and crosses her arms. “The lock has been broken on it for a while, since Peridot joined us actually. Both Garnet and I tried opening it, but I think once Spinel hears someone trying to come in she blocks the door.”

     Hm.

     “I’m gonna try something, but you guys are gonna wanna stay away.” You say to the two of them. “I don’t want to overwhelm her with more than one person.”

     “Let us know if we can do anything?” Steven makes to pass by you and gives your arm a light squeeze. “And thanks for coming to help.”

     “Anytime, dude.” You give him a half smile, and walk over to his bathroom. You turn to take a look back at the other two, and they’re already in the kitchen discussing something in soft tones. You move to knock at the door, make two light taps against the frame, and wait for an answer.

     A couple seconds pass, and nothing. Not even any movement. Nervously, you knock again, a little louder this time, and wait for a good ten seconds.

     Still nothing.

     You take a deep breath, reach out to grab the door handle, and very slowly and quietly open the bathroom door. You see nothing but absolute darkness, and step in. You feel around the wall to your right and flip a switch just as you close the door behind you with an audible click. The room instantly floods with the dark red light of the heat lamp, and before you can even think about finding another light source, you find yourself slammed up against the wall and let out a surprised yelp. You open your eyes to see Spinel’s face inches from yours, pupils wild, her hands splayed against your shoulders.

     “U-um,” Your voice cracks a little. “Hey.”

     You watch her eyes take a second to find yours, and almost instantly, she lets you go, arms trembling.

     “W.. what are YOU DOING HERE!?” She cries, large tears pouring down her face, eyebrows raised in confusion, mouth trembling. Her hair is in loose pigtails, strands untamed around her face, cheeks stained with tear tracks. She looks like a mess, and your heart breaks, just a little. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt y-”

     “I’m fine.” You cut her off. “I should have said who it was outside the door, I’m sorry. And um.. Steven texted me while I was at work, and told me what was going on so I rushed over..” You trail off as you watch Spinel’s entire body shake, and she covers her face with both of her hands.

     “I can’t believe I just did that.” You hear her wavering voice, muffled behind her fists, and she lets out a choked sob. “Maybe they were right. M-maybe I’m not meant to-” She quickly moves her hands down to look at the floor with wide, vulnerable eyes, and struggles to form the rest of her words. You hear her breathing pick up pace, and you’re starting to realize she’s hyperventilating.

     “Spinel, look at me.” Her eyes shoot up to yours, lips trembling. “I need you to breathe.” You do what your friends have always done with you, and gently grab both of her hands and hold them with yours, thumbs stroking her palms in slow circles. She freezes up instantly, and you’re about to panic, because while a familiar touch helps ground you, you register that maybe it’ll make it worse for her. But before you can pull your hands away, her hands relax ever so slightly, and she lets out a shaky breath. “Good. Just like that.” You motion for her to follow your breathing inverals, and she copies you, hands still shaking in yours.

     It’s been a while since you’ve had to deal with something like this, but you’re thankful for having similar life experiences. After a solid minute or two of this her breathing is back to a normal pace, but she’s still crying, and now not meeting your eyes. Almost like she’s avoiding them.

     “Look, I.. I don’t know what happened with you and the diamonds, but you can talk to me about it if you’d like. No pressure, though.” You give her hands a small squeeze, and she whimpers, looking up to meet your gaze. Tears are still actively streaming down her face, and you have no idea how to make any of this better. It physically hurts you to see her like this.

     “C-can I not talk about it? I don’t think I’m ready..” She pulls a hand from yours, and wipes at her face. She just kind of smeared half of her face with wetness, and she looks miserable.

     “You don’t have to talk about anything, Spinel.” You look at her, making sure she sees it in your eyes. You slowly let go of her other hand, and hold your arms out in a silent question instead. Her mouth opens slightly, the red glow of the light around her making her look extremely vulnerable and soft, and she looks at your open arms with a blank face for a moment before understanding. Almost instantaneously, she throws herself against you and wraps her arms around your shoulders, shoving her face into the cradle of your neck. You envelop your arms around her tightly, giving her sides a squeeze, and you feel her start to shake again.

     She lets out an unsteady sigh, and hiccups out another small sob. You pull her to lean fully against you as you stand there, bracing your back against the bathroom door. She lets you maneuver her, and you rest the side of your face against her temple while she cries. You resign yourself to letting her cry on you until she’s done, if she needs to.

       You feel her sniffle against your neck, and try not to mind that she’s getting your shirt soaked. You give her back a few gentle rubs, feeling her body quiver against yours as she’s trying to control her choked breathing. You’re not really counting the minutes, as right now you’re currently having way too many rampant thoughts about what the fuck the diamonds could’ve said to her. You’re mad as hell, honestly, and if you could say shit to them, you would in a heartbeat. You don’t want to make anything worse for her though, as much as you want to steal her phone and video call them to curse them out. It takes a few more minutes, but eventually her crying dies down, and you feel her breathing even out. Slowly, she dislodges her arms from twisting around you two, and you feel a sigh, her breath hot against your neck. You do your best to school your facial expression as you’re realize just how close you are to her, and she pulls her face from its resting position to look at you. She looks awful.

       “U-um,” She lifts up her hand to attempt to wipe her face, failing to rub half the tears away. “I don’t really want to go out there yet..”

       “You don’t have to.” You say, quietly. “I can leave if you’d like some quiet to yourself.” Her face looks panicked for a second, and she grabs your wrist.

       “Please don’t leave me.” She says, voice wavering again. You try not to let your heart shatter at her tone.

     “I won’t if you want me here.” You say, and sigh softly. “Here, hold on a second.”

     She lets your wrist go as you move slightly over to the sink, turn the hot water on, and grab a clean hand towel from the counter. You soak it in water, and squeeze out all the excess. Towel in hand, you turn back to her, and she’s looking at you cautiously. You lift the towel slightly, motioning to her face.

     “May I?” You ask, and she nods slightly.

     Tenderly, you brush a couple strands of hair away from her face, grasp her chin with your left hand and pull her forward, gently pressing the towel to her cheek. She closes her eyes, and her shoulders sag a little as she lets you dab at her face, cleaning her of any tear stain marks. She sighs into your touch, and it strikes you that it would be so easy to just.. lean in and kiss her.

       Your brain almost short circuits and you snap your thoughts back to reality. There’s a time and place for everything. This is not the time, nor the place.

       Once you’re satisfied that she looks a lot better than before, you pull your hands away to toss the rag in the sink, and Spinel, for a brief moment, looks disappointed that you had stopped. Which.. kind of gives you an idea.

       “Can I try something? Harper used to do this thing with me when I.. had similar breakdowns.” You ask her. She raises her eyebrow in response, clearly exhausted from crying so much. “Here.” You say, and take her hand and lead her over to the rim of the bathtub. You sit down on the edge, and motion for her to sit in front of you on the floor. She takes a seat in front of you, still confused, but obeys nonetheless. “Can I touch you?” You ask her, watching her face to make sure she’s alright.

       She looks up at you, the red light in the room flooding the entirety of her face, making her hair darker, and the whites of her eyes a bit more dramatic.

     “Yeah.” She says in reply, voice tired.

     You reach out to her hair, and stop for a moment.

     “Can I have you face the other direction, actually? Come over here.” You move to open your knees, making enough room for Spinel to turn around and lean against the bathtub. She’s close to you again.

     “What are you..” She trails off as you start to take the hair ties out of her pigtails, one after the other. It takes a second, as it’s a bit tangled, but you manage to get both out, and let her hair fall down. You comb out her hair with your fingers, gently, and she sighs audibly while leaning into your touch. You run your short nails along her scalp, scratching and massaging as you smooth out her hair, attempting to pull all the tangles out.

     “Touch used to calm me down, and Harper was really good at it, honestly.” You say while pulling out a particularly difficult tangle without hurting her. Her hair is long like this, and you like it. You wish you could grow your hair this long, but it’s kind of a pain to deal with, and the longest you’ve ever had yours wasn’t even to your mid back, you think to yourself. “Sometimes she’d give me shoulder and neck massages, but I preferred that she’d just play with my hair. There’s just something different about another person touching your hair.”

     “I kind of get what you mean.” She says, tiredly.

     “Can I braid your hair?” You lean closer to look at her face.

     “Do what you want.” She says, looking fairly relaxed.

     “Cool. Anyway, while Harper was good at that, Alex, on the other hand, was just terrible at any kind of physical comfort. He’s genuine, and he tries, but he’s an idiot. He’s a lot better at distractions, for the most part.” You run your fingers through her hair one more time, before starting to separate her hair into three parts for a french braid. “He’s funny, and comes from a large family, so he always has stories and jokes. Whenever I’d have a panic attack, those two were always so good about being there for me. I don’t know what I’d do without them.”

     You notice that Spinel‘s shoulders have lost most of the tension in them, and you’re secretly relieved. You keep talking to fill the quietness around you two, because you’ve always hated the quiet during moments like these. Your friends aren’t here, so it’s up to you to make up for it.

     “It was kind of hard, at first though,” You say, and start looping the chunks of hair around your fingers, starting at the top of her head. “Because for a while there, back when I was 16 and dealing with the worst of my abandonment issues, I clung onto Harper like a baby koala. I had this super weird crush on her even though we had been friends since we were practically babies. I think I idolized her because she was just.. good to me.” You accidentally tug a little too hard on a strand of hair, wince and utter an apology while massaging the spot on her scalp. “I’m glad that didn’t ruin our friendship, but for a while there I really pushed my feelings onto her, which was kinda fucked up on my part.”

     “Hm..” Spinel mumbles. “I kind of had a thing for Pink, I think. Which ended up screwing with me even more after what she did.” You stare at the back of her head and pause your hands for a second. Huh. Yeah, you had a hunch.

     “If she were still alive, I’d punch her in the face for you, I hope you know.” You state, in full seriousness. This gets the first chuckle that you’ve heard from her today, and you’re secretly overjoyed.

     “I’d pay to watch that.” She says, and you laugh out loud. You see her smile, just barely.

     “So,” You continue, with both your hands and conversation. “A week or so after my 17th birthday, right after Harper talked to me about this guy at school that she liked, I confess to her. And not like a, ‘oh hey, you’re my best friend and I really like you’ kind of way, either. It was more like a, ‘have a mental breakdown over your best friend liking someone else and make them feel like shit about it on your walk home from school’ kind of confession.” Your hands reach the nape of her neck now, braid mostly done on her head, but you’ve got around another 20 inches of length before being finished.

     “Harper avoided me for nearly a week after that. I was absolutely pathetic, and inconsolable. Alex was fed up with my shit after a few days, and nearly slapped me over it. He would’ve been in the right, doing so, honestly. I was a selfish asshole who only thought about her own feelings, and not about her best friends.” Your eyes drift to Spinel’s face, and her eyes are closed, eyebrows unfurrowed.

     “Anyway,” You’re nearly done with the entire braid now. “She did end up forgiving me. Thankfully. I don’t know what I’d do if it were my fault that I’d split up our friend group.” You pick up the discarded hair tie from earlier, and tie it around the end of the braid.

     “I’m all done, by the way.” You say to her. She opens her eyes tentatively, and she looks sleepy. You stand up, and stretch your back. She also gets up on wobbly legs, and turns to look at you.

     “Um.” She’s avoiding your eyes. “Thank you. For this.” She’s twisting her hands together, nervously. You lean your face closer to get at eye-level with her.

     “Anytime.. and for the record, you look really cute in a braid.” You say and smile, giving her a cheeky wink. You watch her entire face from the neck up turn bright red, and think that you could probably do this forever, and never get tired. She gives you a noncommittal grunt, halfheartedly smacks your arm and you grin at her.

     You hear a quiet knock at the door, and look over to Spinel. She shrugs, so I guess it’s okay now.

     “You can come in!” You say to the door. It opens slowly, and you see Steven peek his head in.

     “Um.. are we okay?” He asks, clearly very worried about her.

     “I’ll be okay.” She says, and you think that maybe she should lay down and sleep. You verbalize this immediately.

     “Spinel. I think you should go take a nap.” You look at her, and she blinks at you. “I’m serious.”

     “She’s kind of right.” Steven says in agreement with you. Spinel gives the both of you a shrug, and even that seems like it’s taking a lot out of her.

     “Okay.” She says, and turns to walk out of the bathroom. Steven opens the door wider, and you can see Pearl in the kitchen leaning against the counter, trying to not seem like she’s intently watching all of you.

     Spinel makes her way over to the couch and takes a seat, sitting up rigidly. You walk over to her to make sure she’s okay before you leave for home.

     “You know you can text me, right? And if you need me, I’ll be available. I’ll leave my volume turned on.” She gives you a nod. “Oh, and.. take this,” You say, and pull off the pullover hoodie you’re wearing right now, and hand it over to her. “Alex used to let me wear his oversized sweaters, and they used to help me sleep, so..”

     She tentatively reaches out, and takes it from your hands.

     “Thanks.” She says, and gives you a small smile. With her hair pulled back like this she almost looks human, for a fleeting moment. You sometimes forget she’s a gem. You return the smile back at her, and turn around to leave.

     After grabbing your bag that you set down earlier from beside the couch, you head over to the front door and open it. Shouldering the bag, you start to shut the door and see Steven behind you. He closes the door behind him, his face searching yours for something you don’t quite know.

     “I don’t know what you did, but thank you.” He says, completely genuine.

     “You don’t have to thank me. I’d do it for you, too, you know.” You say to him, and he smiles.

     “That’s why I like you, Y/N. You’re sweet.”

     “Yeahhhh, don’t tell anyone, though. You’ll ruin my reputation.” You smirk, giving him the side-eye. He laughs and pats your back.

     “Ohhhhhh no! Whatever will you do!?” He rolls his eyes in jest. “Get home safe, okay?”

     “No promises.” You reply, and jump down his steps, two at a time.  

     It doesn’t take you long to get home, and you’re pretty tired yourself. You make yourself busy by preparing dinner, cleaning the kitchen a little, and calling your dad for another check-in. Before you know it, it’s nearly 11, and you need to sleep for your double shift tomorrow that you almost forgot about. You’re laying in bed browsing social media before drifting off, and you receive a text from Spinel. You swipe down and open the message.

         Spinel: Thanks again for today.

     Spinel: I baked some new cookies with Steven, and would like to give you some tomorrow if that’s okay?

         You smile to yourself. Ughhhhhhhh, you’re catching the feelings disease, and you swat the air around you like it somehow physically manifested around you.

         Y/N: I work literally all day, but feel free to stop by and give them to me.

     Y/N: Then I get to see a pretty familiar face to break up all the lame tourists.

     Y/N: Cuz that sounds super nice. ;)

     Spinel: I’ll see you tomorrow, then.

         She didn’t react to your obvious teasing, but you won’t let that discourage you. You fall asleep thinking of the many different ways you can poke fun at her, and this time, you charge your phone.

     You wake up the next morning feeling well-rested for once, and get ready for work. Alex has sent you a couple texts about when his flight will arrive, and when he’ll roughly come to meet you. Sometime around 4pm, apparently. You shoot Spinel a good morning text, and she replies almost instantly with the same, which makes you smile.

     You head to work, texting your group chat about what happened yesterday with Spinel, and give them basically all the details. Alex makes fun of you for a bit, so you curse him out and pocket your phone as you clock in. Today’s going to suck, but you’ve got a few things to look forward to.

     You make it a couple hours into your shift before you finally get a break, and Spinel texts you that she’ll drop by sometime in the afternoon once she’s done helping Bismuth with something. God you hope it’s not when Alex gets here, because you are so not fucking ready for that interaction. You eat your lunch and pray to any god out there that you could have one more day of peace.

     You’re outside the main building repairing a couple parts on the carousel, ignoring the bulk of the tourists to focus on work. You don’t realize that quite a while has passed by, because someone walks up to you as you’ve got your head in a small door, and kicks you slightly on your ass. You jolt and bump your head against the opening, and you hear Alex burst out into laughter as you groan in pain.

     God fucking dammit, this guy. You pull your head out to glare at him, screwdriver pointing at him threateningly.

     “Do you want this up your ass? Because I can do that.” You say to him, and he laughs even harder. You roll your eyes at him.

     “Don’t promise me with a good time, Y/N.” He says, and you stand up to smack him.

     “I don’t think the pointy end would be a good time, idiot.” You deadpan stare at him. He grins.

     “You don’t know what I’m into.” He shrugs, and flips his hair dramatically. You hate that he’s stupid and charming, and you love him so much.

     “I know I haven’t seen you in 2 months, but like, I feel like you’ve grown taller?” You stare at him, a little mournfully. You’re the shortest one out of your friends, and you’re of average height. He also seems.. handsomer. You think he definitely got a lot more tan. He’s definitely grown into his looks, his dark curly hair and recently shaved face making him look older than you’re used to.

     “I don’t think I did, but I think you’ve grown shorter.” He laughs obnoxiously, and you smack his arm again, which makes him laugh harder.

     “You’re so mean to me, like all the time. Why do I love you?” You cross your arms and pout, because you know it gets a rise out of him.

     “Youuuuuuu knowww, because I’m just so loveable and gorgeous and the smartest one in the group??” He flutters his eyelashes at you like he thinks he’s cute.

     “Wow, you are none of these things.” You reply, smirking at him. He puts his hand over his heart in mock offense.

     “Y/N, I’m offended. I’ve been here for like, five minutes, and I’ve received absolutely no affection from you. If I don’t get love, I will wilt and die. Do you want to be responsible for my death?” He opens his arms wide, and you roll your eyes dramatically, and stand there.

     “We’re not doing this in public.” You say, standing your ground.

     “Ohhh, YES we are, Y/N.” He wiggles his eyebrows. “Prepare yourself for the onslaught.”

     You take a couple steps back, prepared to run. He grabs your arms, wraps his around your torso, and picks you up, swinging you around.

     “Nooooooooooooooooo!!” You cry. “Put me down you oaf!”

     “No! I want love!” He all but shouts, and spins you around. He grabs your cheek with one hand and starts giving you big ‘ol smooches all over your face, and you’re giggling and trying to push him away, when you hear something drop and spill on the pavement a good twenty feet from you. You look up.

     It’s Spinel.

       Her face is twisted with heartbreak, and before you can even speak up, she bolts.

       You look down, and see the cookies she made you scattered on the ground.

[ooc-charming-david]

A & U for the fandom ask game? :D

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

Oh boy, I have so many ships. Like. So many. But don’t multiship, so only like 1 ship per character, and usually only like a few per fandom. So this doesn’t get batshit long, I’ll start with my current obsessions du jour:

OUAT: 

OTPs: Snowing and Frozen Swan 

Platonic Relationships: Daddy Charming, Mama Snow, Charming Wolf (Charming & Red), Grandpa Charming. 

Harry Potter: OTP: Wolfstar

Platonic Relationships: Harry & Sirius, Golden Trio, Marauders, Harry & Luna, Harry & Hagrid, Harry & Dobby, Harry & Remus, Harry and ALL THE WEASLEYS

And Miscellaneous that I’m not totally obsessed with right this second but that I will always circle back to (in no particular order):

OTPs: Elizabeth Bennet/Mr Darcy (pride&prejudice), Merthur (BBC Merlin), Fosterson (MCU), Stucky (MCU), Neo/Trinity (The Matrix), Jake/Neytiri (Avatar), The Doctor/Rose (Doctor Who), Legolas/Gimli (LOTR), Crowley/Azirphale (Good Omens), Link/Sidon (BotW), Jamie/Claire (Outlander), Victor/Yuuri (Yuri on Ice), Buffy/Angel (Buffy), Erik/Christine (PotO), and like... more but that’s what I can think of right now.   

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

Ohhhh good question.

1) Harry Potter

Sirius Black - Sirius has been my number one favourite character from any work of fiction since I was about 12. So like... over half my life. It’s almost hard for me to put to words why he’s my favourite, because he just feels so intrinsically tied to my heart. Sirius is good and brave and loving. He puts the people he loves before himself, always. First James and then Harry. He’s been through hell and he isn’t okay, but he’s kind. He’s cracked but not broken. I could write a 5000 word essay about why I love him so very much and how much he means to me. I have endless headcanons about him. Like. Endless. You know, he stayed in Azkaban and didn’t even try to escape until he found out Harry was in danger. He didn’t do it for himself, he did it because his love for his godson is so profound, and he had to protect him from Pettigrew. I just.... @ me some time for an essay about it. I won’t write more here but yeah he’s just... my favourite forever. 

Hermione Granger - Hermione got me through the worst time in my life. I’ve always related so very much to Hermione. I was bullied horribly in elementary school and high school (like to the point where I was escorted off the school premises by the police for my safety once, and the school board apparently had a meeting about my case. Like. It was BAD). And seeing how Hermione was so bullied, especially in the first book, and how Harry and Ron became her friends... I read that when I needed to read that the most in my life. In my heart, when I was growing up, I was Hermione, and when I had no one, I always had Harry and Ron. 

Remus Lupin - Goddamn I love Remus. He’s been through so much and has been ostracized for something that isn’t his fault for most of his life. He has a softness and a patience and a gentle kindness that I will always love him for. He’s such a wonderful teacher, and another parent to Harry. I want an au where Sirius and Remus raised Harry more than anything, y’all. Remus is just so beyond wonderful, I can’t even. 

2) Once Upon a Time

Charming / David - Y’all do I even need to say it? I love literally everything about Charming. He’s so profoundly selfless, loving, brave, kind, romantic, loyal... and yet flawed and real. He would do anything for his true love and his family. He’s the best dad and the best husband I can think of in fiction. He’s just the best and I love him with my whole heart. I could say so much more but I don’t want this post to go on for 100000 years.

Snow - Y’all know I love my Snow. Snow is strong and tough and brave, and yet she’s always forgiving, and soft in her love and understanding. She will do what she has to do to survive and to help those she loves, and even those she doesn’t. She has been hunted and tortured and traumatized, and yet always remains kind, forgiving and hopeful. I love her so very much. She reminds me of my late Baba, sometimes. My Baba was a holocaust survivor  -- her parents, siblings and best friend were all murdered (except for one brother), and she always said of the Nazi monsters who did those terrible things that she wouldn’t even slap their faces. Some people think Snow is weak for how forgiving she is, but I see nothing but strength in her. 

Emma - How can anyone not love Emma? She’s the one that started it all. She is her father’s daughter trough and through. She’s strong, passionate, takes no shit from anyone, and loves her family. Her relationship with her parents are two of my favourite platonic relationships of all time. (Also she’s a beautiful bisexual disaster and I love her.)

3) Marvel (especially MCU)

Jane Foster - LISTEN. I love Jane Foster with my whole entire heart and anyone who doesn’t love her can FIGHT ME. She’s a tiny fiery Jewish Genius and she’s the BEST. The first Thor movie is one of my favourite movies of all time. The beauty of a scientist falling in love with a God/Alien is just so profoundly beautiful, y’all. She’s strong and smart and brave and so very real and I love her so much. I am SO BLOODY PUMPED to see her become Thor in Love and Thunder. 

Thor - I fuckin love Thor, y’all. As you’d see the second you walking into my apartment. Thor has such a beautiful character arc in his first movie, going from a dumb, entitled jock to this caring, soft, kind man who saves kids and would do anything for his lil scientist soulmate. He is such a fish out of water, and he’s just such a wonderful, loving man and I love him SO MUCH. Also, his power set is just so fuckin cool, y’all. 

(oh gods now I have to pick between Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, and Clint Barton???? How could you do this to me, Becky?!) 

Steve Rogers - Steve is the character who I most relate to in the MCU, especially pre-serum. I, too, am short and have shitty joints and will always stand up for the little guy. Steve is a tiny hero in the body of a suped-up god. All he wants is to do the right thing, to help everyone he can, and to protect Bucky Barnes. Steve and Bucky are one of my alltime big OTPs. That man was ready to start a whole goddamn war to protect Bucky, don’t @ me. Also, as the grandchild of holocaust survivors, how could I not absolutely adore a man who beats the shit outta Nazis? My Hero.