#I sacrificed time I was supposed to use for studying

[amidseas]

I finally managed to color it

[rhysazriel]

Hidden Videos [College!Azriel]

SUMMARY: Y/N's a camgirl and Azriel's roommate, Azriel borrows her computer for his college essay and finds something he never expected to see. (3.3k)

WARNINGS: teasing, swearing, dirty talk, masturbation (Azriel watching Y/N's videos)

A/N: this is another old fic from an old fandom I used to write for... but there's just something about college Az getting off over his roommate hehe

"Fuck!"

She hears his curse before a slam of something hard is followed and rough footsteps carry him into the kitchen. Azriel's got his fingers tugging on his growing hair, face red in aggravation and she stops mid-chew on her slice of toast, eyeing him with raised brows.

He lets out another gruff sigh and shakes his hands through his hair, slapping his arms down to the sides of his thighs. She quirks a brow higher. "What's up?" He eyes her tiredly.

"Fuckin' laptop is broke, again!"

She gnaws on her inner cheek, glancing down at her watch and nodding with a wince. "Thought you got it fixed like two weeks ago?" She ponders aloud as she finishes typing up her sentence.

Azriel leans on the kitchen counter, nodding and huffing once more. He's only in a pair of sweats and an old shirt and Y/N's got on a pair of jeans and a nice blouse. Azriel thinks it's new, he hasn't seen it before.

He nods again. "I did, but it's still not fucking working. Stuff won't save and I need to get this assignment done by Friday."

Azriel has always been one to leave assignments and classwork to the last minute and more often than not, Y/N has ended up sacrificing her sleep to help him meet his deadlines. She's lost count of how many sleepless nights she's been faced with during the year she's been his roommate.

It wasn't exactly the first choice for both of them to share the flat. Azriel needed a roommate as he couldn't afford the rent after his last one bailed midterm, and Y/N was a transfer and in desperate need of accommodation.

They didn't know each other before she moved in and they were both desperate enough to just go for it. It turned out to be one of the best decisions they've both made. A friendship was quick to blossom between them in the first week of Y/N moving in, and over the year, they've only gotten closer.

And sure, on a few nights where they've been intoxicated at parties, they've shared a kiss or two. And yes, they both know they find each other highly attractive. And okay, maybe once or twice they've got off to the sound of the other person getting some. But they've never let anything change their friendship.

Azriel peers up at her, leaning down on the counter and pouting out his lips. "You’ve got work in a bit, don’t you?" He ponders innocently, nicking a grape from her plate and popping it into his mouth.

He waits patiently as she hums, eyes fixed on her screen and he knows she's finalising her conclusion. "Seeing as you’re gonna be at work, can I borrow your laptop to get a start on this essay?" His words gain her attention and she peers up over her screen to him.

She's always been a little sceptical about Azriel handling her laptop and he's never known why. At first, he supposed it was because she's very serious about her studies and she didn't trust that he wouldn't accidentally delete something important. But as time went on, he started to think maybe she's just a bit more personal than she lets on in person.

She pauses for a moment, like she's thinking it out before she nods hesitantly and tells him to hold on. He thinks she's saving her work and submitting it off, probably filing it under whatever folder it goes into.

He only knows one thing about her laptop. It's organised. She's got subfolders for subfolders and her tagging system is overly impressive to Azriel. She stands from her seat and stares at the screen, gnawing on her inner cheek and she's trying to make sure everything is in place.

"S'all yours. But I need it back when I get home tonight and don't go through any of my folders. Everything is all tidy and organised and I don't need you going through my notes and messing it all up."

Her words hold a promising threat and Azriel holds his hands up in surrender, nodding slowly at her. He has a sheepish smile as she spins the laptop to face him and gently shoves it across the counter – his smile morphing into one of a grateful grin and Y/N rolls her eyes playfully.

"I finish at eleven tonight, you've got twelve hours." She rounds the table, pressing a kiss to his temple and ruffling his already mussed up hair. He wraps an arm around her in a side-hug and leans across to kiss her bicep as she pushes off him.

"You’re an angel, thank you. I'll leave you some dinner in the fridge for when you come home." He calls after her when she leaves the room, can hear her call out a plethora of thanks and grumbles as she shoves her feet into a pair of trainers and grabs her bag.

He's too busy opening up a new document to hear her shout a goodbye or to hear the door slam behind her. He's twiddling his fingers before they start on the keyboard and he begins the introduction of his essay.

//

It's around 7:30 pm when Azriel starts to get a stiff neck and thinks he needs a break. His eyes have been glued to the laptop screen for eight hours and he's starting to get a headache.

Azriel makes up a quick few dishes of a chicken pasta salad, refrigerating Y/N's after he's eaten and opting to take a quick shower to ease his burning muscles.

He's getting tired and he needs at least another two cups of coffee if he's going to survive another three hours on this essay. He knows that really he should split the time up to be writing it, to not force the majority out in one sitting, but his creative juices are flowing and he knows Y/N needs her computer for her own studies. And Azriel doesn't much like the student library.

Dressed in a pair of sweats and with damp, messy hair, he toes his way into a pair of socks and gets himself comfy on his desk in his bedroom. He's opening up her laptop again, popping it on charge and he gnaws on his inner cheek, looking at the little Spotify icon on her dashboard.

He opens it up, plugging in a pair of wired earphones and he squints as he looks through her playlists. There's a couple on there he thinks he'll like: road trip music, shower music, sex music — his eyes widen and a smirk tugs on his lips at that — but he clicks on her study playlist and is pleasantly surprised by the plethora of Fleetwood Mac and a fair share of piano ballads.

His earbuds are back in as he picks up where he left off, gnawing on his inner cheek as a peaceful piano piece fills his ears. His room is fairly dark, an environment Azriel has always managed to work better in. His curtains are pulled closed and the lamp on his desk is the only light illuminating his room along with the bright screen of the laptop.

It's another thirty minutes of relentlessly typing before he pushes away from his desk to crack his neck and stretch his arms out. He's starting to reap the consequences of taking on the extra subcourse on his Law classes and he can feel a migraine start to migrate its way through his head.

"Fuck sake," he grumbles to himself. Azriel rubs his eyes, pulling himself back to his desk. He saves his document, minimising the tab to open up Google. He's midway through typing up a word he needs the definition for (a frazzled brain does this more often than not to him,) when a suggested search fills in the rest of it and his brows are furrowed.

How does onerous translate to a suggestion of Only Fans?

His eyes widen, mouse hovering over the link below the top search bar and gnawing on his bottom lip, he clicks on it. His heart is thumping in anticipation but he'll never admit to the way it drops when he's met with the login screen and her details aren't saved.

There's a dot of sweat on the arch of his brow and he squirms in his seat. There's no way his roommate – his friend – has an account on a site like that. Azriel wants to forget he even accidentally came across the frequented site, but he can't. Because now, he wants to know if she's just a viewer... or a creator.

He knows it's wrong, but he closes the browser and takes a look at her home screen. There are a few folders lined down the left-hand side – all titled with the names of the courses she's taking, a couple on the right with photos from birthdays and parties and memorable things she doesn't want to lose or forget.

His eyes flitter back over to the right side. Sociology. Psychology. Creative Writing. Business. Azriel squints. Y/N has never taken a business course in her life. His finger hovers over the touchpad for a moment. His eyes are squinted, his nosiness getting the better of him. Curiosity killed the cat. He gnaws on his inner cheek, clicking onto the folder and he's met with videos and videos, all titled with one word and a date.

Each video preview square is black and if Azriel squints enough, he can see a tiny naked Cupid with a bow and arrow. He's gnawing on his lower lip now, sucking it into his lip as he scrolls through the hundreds of videos dating back to last summer.

His brows are knitted when he gets to the bottom and he sees today's date. Curiosity eats at him again and his twitching finger is eager to know what's behind the blank preview box.

Azriel's brow raises involuntarily, spinning in his chair at his desk and he calls out Y/N's name, awaiting her response. He waits a moment then nothing comes. She's still at work. He turns back to his laptop hovering the mouse over today's video and he clicks it, the black screen only enlarging.

He pauses his Spotify playlist, minimising the tab and the second he clicks play, his bottom lip slips from between his teeth and his eyes grow wide, jaw falling slack.

The video is of her bed – rumpled sheets and soft, parted thighs as someone stands on their knees. Her lower body is adorned in a pair of pink panties, "all you can eat" in bold, black writing across her pussy and Azriel feels his throat growing dry.

He feels blood rush to his cock, feels a shiver run down his spine. He watches her lean closer to the camera, careful not to get her face in the shot but he sees her swollen lips that are either coated with saliva or gloss – he can't tell.

Azriel hears a breathy sigh as soft hands gently fall down her body and she sits on her heels, gorgeous tits standing perky on her chest and Azriel wants to reach out and touch her through the screen.

He can't believe this is happening. He's found a stash of naughty videos Y/N takes of herself and posts online. His cock is bloating in his pants at the sight of her tweaking her pebbled nipples and rolling her head back deliciously. He watches her part her legs further, can see a sticky, wet patch on the crotch of her panties before she's kicking them off and laying on her back.

His hand finds its way to his bulging cock, palming himself through his pants as his eyes flutter blurrily at the screen. The lights are dim on the tape, he can tell she's put a gentle filter above it, giving it a vintage and homemade-looking effect. He thinks that's what makes it all the dirtier.

He can see the strings of fairy lights that she's got draping down the wall her headboard is pushed against – the light twinkle of the lights casting a soft, warm glow over her gentle body and she thrashes softly in the sheets, thighs parted as he hears a buzzing come to life.

Her nipples are pebbled and hard, the swell of her breasts gently quaking as her head rolls back into her pillow. He doesn't need to see her face to know it's her. He knows her room like the back of his hand and if that wasn't a dead give away, the little sunflower tattoo on her ankle surely is.

Azriel lets out a shaky breath, fingers dipping into the waistbands of his sweatpants and he massages his length greedily in its confinements. His lips are parted, throat dry but his mouth is watering. He watches her part her thighs through the screen, her little pussy peeking between thick thighs and his mouth salivates as his cock springs to life.

She's glistening on camera, swollen lips and puffy clit. She's desperate, he can tell and though he feels like the biggest creep, watching her without her knowledge, he supposes it's not much different from the hundreds of viewers she no doubt gets. The thought makes his blood boil and his cock twitch.

"I'm so wet." He hears her shaky voice breathe, soft and teasing. He lets his eyes roll back for a moment as he tugs himself out of his pants, palming generously and reaching down to cup his balls.

Azriel lets himself picture her in the room with him, lets him imagine she's lying before him, forcing him to watch her touch herself. "You've got me so fucking wet." His cock jumps again and as a nimble moan teeters off her lips, his eyes blink open and he gawks at the sight he's blessed with.

Unholy, yes. Sinful, in all the best ways a man's soul needs. She's teasing her plush folds with the little purple bullet, the sounds of the vibrations tingling through his ears as her breathy moans sound through his speakers and fade into the silent room.

His fist is tight around his length, harsh, yet tender and eager tugs. She's holding the toy to her perfect clit, just enough pressure that he sees her thighs quiver and tremble and her hips buck deliciously.

The buzzing is numbing to his ears but fuck does he love the sound of her moans that follows. He hates himself for doing this to one of his close friends – to his roommate. But he can't bring himself to stop. Not when she looks like that and is touching herself with such gentle vigour he thinks he's gonna scream.

"Holy shit." Gruff moans are falling from his lips at the sight of her rolling her hips. He can see her cunt glistening on the screen, watches the way she tweaks a nipple between two slender fingers before bringing her hand down to her cunt, swirling the tip of her middle finger over her hole.

"Want your mouth on me, baby. Want you to taste me." His eyes are rolling back and he almost misses the way she brings her soaked finger up to her mouth and suckles off the juices with a sexy whine and hum of appreciation.

She pulls her finger from her mouth with a wet kissy sound and brings it back down to play with her cunt. "Wish you could taste how sweet my pussy is." Her voice is eager, desperate. She's a little nasally as she whines but Azriel thinks it's the hottest thing he's ever heard.

His mouth is salivating at the sight of her pretty cunt, of how wet and swollen it looks – how desperate it is to be eaten. He halts his pumping, spits down directly on the head of his meaty cock and winces deliciously at the feel of it.

Azriel smears the wetness across his head and shaft, twisting his hand as he goes up and down in a rhythmic state. "Want you to fill me up with your big, hard cock." His eyes roll back, jaw slack at the sound of her breathy moans. He can't believe what he's hearing.

Y/N's swirling her finger through her wetness again, dipping her middle finger into her dripping hole and her gasp is what brings Azriel's attention back to the video. His eyes are wide and hooded, teeth clenched and lips tightly shut. He's focused now, he doesn't want to miss a thing.

"God, my pussy is so tight. Please, need it, baby. Need you to fuck me."

He's tugging his cock faster, fondling his balls with an eager goal in mind. Her pussy sucks up her finger, clenching as she adds another. He can't see her face but he doesn't need to, he already knows her jaw is slack and her eyes are clenched shut.

He watches her turn up the vibe, the sounds of the buzzing twice as loud and he knows she's close. Her moans are louder, higher and Azriel can't help but wonder when the fuck she recorded this. Surely not when he's home or he definitely would have heard her.

But the date says it's from this morning, so he's forced to believe she filmed it when he was at class, just before he came back and his laptop broke. The thought excites him even more and his cock twitches in his hold.

All he can think about is burying his face in her sweet little cunt, devouring her pussy until she's screaming and begging for him to stop. He wants her cum on his tongue and then again on his cock and on his fingers. Fuck, he wants her cum to be the only thing he'll ever taste again.

"Tight fucking cunt, baby. So fucking good." His praises slip out but he can't help them, just wishes she could hear them, see what she's doing to him.

Y/N's hips start to buck eagerly, jagged movements that follow with her legs thrashing as her body is sent into a state of euphoric bliss. He watches her clamp a hand over her mouth to muffle her pornographic cries and screams and he wills his eyes to stay open as his own release washes over him and spurts out in whitish ribbons over his hands and pants.

His head rolls back when she relaxes into her mattress, her vibrator off and thrown to the side. He's got a heavy grin on his lips as he hears her sheepish giggles slip from her lips. Azriel wants to hear her fucked out laugh in the crook of his neck as she cuddles into him, tasting her cum from his fingers.

He shakes his head, cock softening in his hand as he looks back at the screen. He expects it to go black, to see no more of her and to clean himself up. But she lays still for another moment before she sits up and brings her cum-soaked fingers to her lips.

She spreads them slowly, strings of arousal connected between the two digits and she breaks the link with her tongue, suckling them both into her mouth and humming at the taste. Her lips are swollen as she does so, cheeks hollowed and he wishes she would dip her head down a little more so he could see her blissed-out eyes, too.

She doesn't. Instead, she pulls her fingers from her mouth with a pop and a cheeky grin tugs on the corner of her mouth until she's got a shy smirk on those lips. Azriel feels his cock twitch in his hand, hardening slowly and he doesn't think he can coax another orgasm out of himself so soon. But then she speaks and he's complete fucked.

"And that's what happens when you accidentally catch your roommate getting off in the shower." His eyes are wide, lips parted and mouth dry. He watches her shy smile morph into one of a teasing smirk before she pouts her lips into a kiss that she blows to the screen.

"Thank you, Azzy."

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back – twice as curious and twice as hungry than before.

//

Thank you for reading!! If you enjoyed it please give it a reblog so it can reach other people too. Feedback is also always appreciated <3

[cowboybabeop]

Vault-Tec Vaults; Game Origin & Location

Hi I'm going to back to my "Fallout Blog" roots. Here is a summary of all of the vaults and experiments (starting with a timeline) because I'm insane ^_^ I had to add a weird break bc I literally hit the tumblr character limit, but I used it to section off the major spoilers for the TV series :)

Timeline

The Great War: October 23rd, 2077

Fallout Bible: Compendium of added lore by the creators.

Fallout 76: 2102

Fallout 1: 2161 

Fallout Tactics: 2197

Fallout: Brotherhood of Steel: 2208

Fallout 2: 2241

Fallout 3: 2277

Fallout: New Vegas: 2281

Fallout 4: 2287

Fallout TV Series: 2296

Corporate Vault - Fallout: Brotherhood of Steel - Texas 

A control group vault meant for Vault-Tec employees to continue research, primarily on FEV (Forced Evolutionary Virus) during the war.

Vault 0 - Fallout Tactics - Colorado 

A control group vault with geniuses kept in cryogenic stasis, with their minds interlinked into an entity called The Calculator.

Vault 3 - Fallout: New Vegas - Nevada 

A control vault. Residents ended up opening the vault doors when the lower levels flooded. Eventually the vault was overrun by Fiends.

Vault 4 - Fallout TV series - California 

A test vault that was filled with residents prior to the bombs dropping. Experimentation on human subjects led to most of the original residents being killed in a revolt. In 2296 the vault is still thriving, while kidnapping surface survivors and continuing to experiment on them. The vault offered refuge for many inhabitants of Shady Sands.

Vault 8 (Vault City) - Fallout 2 - Nevada 

A control group vault that remained closed until 2241. Instead of receiving two G.E.C.K. (Garden of Eden Creation Kit) devices, Vault 8 received just one and a replacement water chip that was supposed to go to Vault 13.

Vault 11 - Fallout: New Vegas - Nevada 

Every year the residents were told to sacrifice a fellow resident, with the threat of everyone's death if they did not. In reality, the system would praise them for NOT sacrificing an individual and the vault door would be unlocked. This message finally played after only five residents remained.

Vault 12 - Fallout 1 - California 

A seemingly normal, safe vault with an ulterior motive to study the effects of radiation on the inhabitants. The door never fully sealed, and in 2083 the ghoul residents left to found Necropolis.

Vault 13 - Fallout 1 & Fallout 2- California 

Your home vault as the Vault Dweller. A rather normal vault, however due to a shipping mishap Vault 13 received an additional G.E.C.K. device (that was supposed to go to Vault 8) instead of a replacement water chip. Thus, leaving the Vault Dweller to leave the vault in search for a replacement when their only water chip breaks.

Vault 15 - Fallout 1 & Fallout 2 - California 

A vault that experimented with incredibly diverse ideologies and backgrounds. The vault became severely overpopulated in 2097 and the dwellers decided to open the door. Shady Sands was created using Vault 15's G.E.C.K. and the local raider gangs all have origins from this vault.

Vault 17 - Fallout: New Vegas - Mention Only 

Inhabitants were kidnapped and transformed into Super Mutants. Lily originates from this vault.

Vault 19 - Fallout: New Vegas - Somewhere in CA/NV/AZ/UT 

Paranoia was induced by noises, lights, and segregation. The vault was divided into two sections, Red and Blue, with a separate overseer for each sector.

Vault 21 - Fallout: New Vegas - Nevada 

An almost normal vault, with the exception of a culture and society built around gambling. All major decisions were made through gambling, with the decision to open the doors and become part of New Vegas being "won" in a game of Blackjack.

Vault 22 - Fallout: New Vegas - Somewhere in CA/NV/AZ/UT 

A vault dedicated to studying agriculture. A fungus designed to kill pests on plants became capable of infected human hosts. Vault 22 is curiously green on the outside by the time The Courier arrives at the location.

Vault 24 - Fallout: New Vegas - Mention Only 

Remnants of a Vault 24 jumpsuit are found in the FNV game files.

Vault 27 - Fallout Bible - Mention Only 

A vault designed to be deliberately overcrowded with not enough means to sustain the inhabitants.

Vault 29 - Fallout 76 - Mention Only 

Only children younger than 15 were allowed in this vault, with their parents being sent to other vaults. Harold is believed to originate from this vault.

//TV SHOW SPOILERS//

Vault 31 - Fallout TV Series - California 

Part of 3 interconnected vaults, serving as cryogenic home for the managers and higher ups of Vault-Tec.

Vault 32 - Fallout TV Series - California 

Part of 3 interconnected vaults, serving as a healthy breeding pool for Vault 31 and 33. Somewhere around 2294, Vault 32 failed and the residents resorted to murder, cannibalism, or suicide.

Vault 33 - Fallout TV Series - California 

Lucy MacLean's home vault. Part of 3 interconnected vaults, serving as a healthy breeding pool for Vault 31 and 32.

//END OF TV SHOW SPOILERS//

Vault 36 - Fallout Bible - Mention Only 

The only food in this vault consisted of thin, watery gruel.

Vault 34 - Fallout: New Vegas - Somewhere in CA/NV/AZ/UT 

The vault was purposefully overstocked with guns with the overseer being able to give/deny access to residents. This inevitably led to it's downfall, and those who revolted and raided the armory relocated above as The Boomers in 2231.

Vault 42 - Fallout Bible - Mention Only 

No lightbulbs over 40W were provided.

Vault 43 - Fallout Bible - Mention Only 

A vault containing 20 men, 10 women, and one panther.

Vault 51 - Fallout 76 - West Virginia 

A vault with a supercomputer as the overseer. Interference from the computer led to most of the residents being murdered by other residents.

Vault 53 - Fallout Bible - Mention Only  

Most equipment was designed to break down every few months in order to stress out inhabitants.

Vault 55 - Fallout Bible - Mention Only 

No entertainment tapes were provided.

Vault 56 - Fallout Bible - Mention Only 

The only entertainment tapes provided were of one terrible comedian.

Vault 63 - Fallout 76 - West Virginia 

The inside of the vault remains sealed, with the outside door being all that is accessible to the player character. Other parts of the vault are revealed through cut content.

Vault 65 - Fallout 76 - Mention Only 

Remnants of the vault remain in Fallout 76 cut content.

Vault 68 - Fallout Bible - Mention Only 

The vault contained 999 men and 1 woman.

Vault 69 - Fallout Bible - Mention Only 

The vault contained 999 women and 1 man.

Vault 75 - Fallout 4 - Massachusetts 

A secret experimenting in refining human genetics through selective breeding, genetic modification, and hormonal treatments. The vault's concept was made by Stanislaus Braun.

Vault 76 - Fallout 76 - West Virginia 

The home vault of the player character in 76. It was a control vault, set to open after 25 years. This is when the player character leaves the vault.

Vault 77 - Fallout 3 - Mention Only 

Mentioned by slavers in Paradise Falls, this vault was rumored to only contain one man and a box of puppets.

Vault 79 - Fallout 76 - West Virginia 

A vault dedicated to hoarding the country's gold reserves.

Vault 81 - Fallout 4 - Massachusetts 

Designed to develop a cure for every possible sickness or ailment. Residents were unknowingly sprayed with diseases by nozzles hidden in their rooms. The first vault overseer had thought this to be cruel, cut off the scientists from the rest of the vault and cut the nozzles from spraying residents before the experiments could begin.

Vault 87 - Fallout 3 - Somewhere in VA/PA/MD 

The original vault experiment for 87 was scrapped, and it became a research center for FEV, leaving the vault wildly radioactive and inhabited only by super mutants by the time you access it as the Lone Wanderer.

Vault 88 - Fallout 4 - Massachusetts 

An unfinished vault inhabited by ghouls.

Vault 92 - Fallout 3 - Somewhere in VA/PA/MD 

The best musicians were sent to this vault to "preserve musical talent", but truthfully residents were subjected to subliminal messages mixed into white noise. Eventually some of the musicians went into random, murderous, psychotic rages that led to the end of the experiment.

 Vault 94 - Fallout 76 - West Virginia 

A vault with non-violent faith-centric inhabitants. The vault opened one year later to search for survivors. The vault became overrun by wastelanders and raiders that destroyed their G.E.C.K. and their nuclear reactor. The vault was swarmed with radiation and is now overrun by mirelurks.

Vault 95 - Fallout 4 - Massachusetts 

A vault designed to get people clean and sober. After a successful 5 years, a Vault-Tec agent brought out a hidden stash of drugs for other residents to find.

Vault 96 - Fallout 76 - West Virginia 

A vault with a focus on agriculture, animals, genetics, and mutations. The original residents were killed in a failed escape attempt, and the vault was then used by West-Tek scientist Edgar Blackburn to continue research on FEV.

Vault 100 - Fallout 3 - Mention Only 

Remnants of Vault 100 can be found in game files and cut content.

Vault 101 - Fallout 3 - Somewhere in VA/PA/MD 

The home vault for the Lone Wanderer. This vault was meant to never open and Vault 101 did not receive a G.E.C.K. However, the overseer of the vault pretty quickly broke this rule and occasional survey teams were sent to the surface. Several residents of Megaton are the result of these survey teams. Daddy James found the vault after the birth of the Lone Wanderer and negotiated his doctoral services in exchange for shelter.

Vault 106 - Fallout 3 - Somewhere in VA/PA/MD 

Psychoactive drugs slowly released into the air of Vault 106, causing the vault to be filled with psychotic survivors by the time the Lone Wanderer visits.

Vault 108 - Fallout 3 - Somewhere in VA/PA/MD 

A slew of experiments occurred in this vault. The elected overseer was dying of cancer, the primary power supply of the vault was scheduled to fail after 20 years, the backup power supply would not be enough to power ALL of the vault, the vault was given three times the normal amount of weapons, and the vault was not given entertainment. With a majority of scientists, one of the inner experiments involved repeatedly cloning the same man... Gary.

Vault 111 - Fallout 4 - Massachusetts 

Your home vault as the Sole Survivor. All residents were meant to unknowingly stay in cryostasis, with scientists overlooking them. However, conflicts arose among those unfrozen, leading to the vault door eventually being opened.

Vault 112 - Fallout 3 - Somewhere in VA/PA/MD 

Residents lived in a virtual reality simulation to create their "perfect life" with their overseer, Stanislaus Braun, a scientist who proceeded to use the residents as playthings. Braun continuously murdered residents, then wiped their memories and reset the simulation.

Vault 114 - Fallout 4 - Massachusetts

 An unfinished vault meant for only the wealthy. Vault-Tec exaggerated the luxury of the vault, gave residents very small rooms, communal bathing and dining areas, and a homeless drug-addicted overseer named Soup Can Harry.

Vault 118 - Fallout 4 - Maine 

An Unfinished Vault meant to house both a handful of ultra-rich and hundreds of working class individuals to observe how they would interact within the same space.

Vault 120 - Fallout 4 & Fallout 76 - Mention Only 

The vault itself was meant to mimic the underwater atmosphere of Bioshock. The game was cut from Fallout 4, but remnants can be found in Fallout 76 game files.

[peachetteprice]

WAIT i need to say this but idk where to post it but we're all Price enjoyers here so listen up

neighbour!Price or bestfriend or coworker, or whatever, being absolutely disgusted by your boyfriend/husband for not being ''man enough'' to claim you properly. Price thinks why isn't he putting a baby in you yet? haven't you two been together for months now? he's not doing a good job at it! let Price show you and your partner how it's done.

sorry, i am just weak for traditional slightly misogynistic Price, you hear me? good day

Oh... oh dear... I fear you may be on to something, anon... I'm choosing coworker!Price, because that's the first thing that popped into my head... 🧡

Naturally, coworker!Price studies you over a three-month period after the wedding, pressing his stomach against yours as he goes to hug you in farewell for the weekend, as all male coworkers do, such as he's reasoned for the past two years, analysing how your stomach never once bulges and pushes him away from the weight of a bain, despite the ring on your finger having been there for double that amount of time.

When the office Christmas party comes around, it's a secret-santa sort of affair. There's one final gift under the tree in the foyer. It's small, neatly wrapped, placated with a bow and a tag with the words 'from your secret santa' in luxurious cursive. It seems a thoughtful gift for anyone, and you haven't had yours yet - it's been two hours, and you just want to go home so you can shower and determine whether your husband's cock needs caring for - so, when your boss pinches it from the ground and plops it in your lap, it's a momentous occasion.

Sacrificing its beauty for curiosity, you rip open the wrapping paper to reveal a box, a cardboard one, and inside the box... one pink rattle with a cotton bunny tailing the end of it. It would have made a fine gift for an expectant mother, like the receptionist, Emma, for example, except that you're not pregnant, and you voice exactly that to whichever stranger in the cohort was responsible for the gift, expecting to hear a hushed giggle from Ian, sodomised Ian, the creep, who's always ogling the fold in your cleavage whenever you enter the breakroom.

A voice pipes up. It's not Ian's.

"You're not?" It says.

John says, instead of saying 'that bastard', like he wants to.

"No. But... I suppose if I'm ever thinking of having kids anytime soon, I'll... I'll hold onto it." And mutter a very sarcastic 'thank you, Ian,' under your breath.

Which John hears. And it angers him.

Without you even knowing, after everyone leaves the office, he's tagging you on the motorway home, hands gripping the steering wheel hard enough to wrench it from its socket with thoughts of running you off it, careening you into the barrier and heroically coming to your rescue, using the ruse of having just popped to the shops before home, before sweet-talking you like that bastard never did, bending you over the bonnet and stuffing a baby inside you like a true man should with his darling wife, cock fat with semen and weeping cum into that tight, velvet cunt of yours, too cock-drunk to even speak, drooling onto the metal plane of the front of your car as he cements your marriage with a baby, a chubby, healthy one, born from his cum and his cum only.

But you depart from the motorway via the next junction to stop for petrol, and he's too enraptured by the thoughts of fatherhood that he continues straight, right hand in his underwear, eyes dazed as he bursts his load, pretending its you and not his boxers to which he's gifting his precious cum.

| Masterlist |

[jujutsukgojo]

The Baby Project

chapter two

izuku midoriya x reader

Summary:

U.A. decides that raising a fake baby is a good lesson for the future heroes and paired third year classes A and B with a general studies class. When you get stuck with a dead beat, Izuku Midoriya comes to save the day and your grade.

tw: Dead beat parents, sexual harassment (no details), idk if there's anything else?

The baby project is the worst thing to have happened at U.A. At least for you and the rest of your General Studies class that the ‘heroes’ decided to sacrifice for their favored course. 

  “Is this punishment?” 

  The teacher, Snipe, shakes his head. “No, no it’s not.” 

“You sure? Is it because of my last assignment?” Your previous assignment was honest and not popular. Snipe didn’t like what you had to say about heroes. The only thing you regret is that it was almost a hundred slides and you had to hold the class hostage in order to finish it. It was so bad that some of the other teachers had to save them. What were you supposed to do? You worked hard on your presentation and by God, somebody is going to learn from it. It was a solid assignment that you ended up passing, much to your amazement. 

   “It’s not punishment. You’re helping them. They’re about to be sent out there and need that last bit of guidance.” You scoff at your teacher. Are you even going to be graded for this since it is all for them? Then, a thought enters.

“This is because of Endeavor, right?” The room is filled with tension at your referral. What did they expect? It’s the truth. Because of the Todoroki Family’s fiasco, U.A. has decided to help prevent that from happening again in its own way: by giving robotic babies. Not to mention it is at your expense.

“ Toots!” Your friend, Ema, hisses. You just shrug and mouth ‘what?’.

“Yes.” Your eyebrows raise at Snipe’s honesty. “And why are we sacrificed? We’re younger than they are. Let the elderly go first. Just as nature intended.”

 Snipe rubs his face. “Why are you so-no, you’re not being sacrificed. It’s a new assignment that everyone’s doing. My class is just paired up with them.” 

“ Why?"  How are you the only one with questions? There is so much unfairness here!

  “Will you stop?” A girl with bright red hair and reptilian eyes frowns at you. What’s her name again? Sakura or something? “It’s happening, there’s no use fighting it.”

  You sigh and glare at her and your homeroom teacher. 

“Try to get excited. This is the first time U.A. is doing this and you get to set the standard! Think of names and schedules,” He goes from being behind his podium to sitting on the desk in front of it. 

“And time, and sleep, and food-” He interrupts you. “This is new technology, too! This little thing feels, looks, and acts like a real baby. It literally grows and responds as time goes on.”

  The boy with shiny silver hair and four eyes tilts his head. You think his name is Jule? That’s how you’ve always referred to him as and was never corrected. “How old do we have to raise it to be?” 

  Your debate is slowly turning into excitement about the project. A baby to hold and raise. That grows and you’ll be the first at U.A. to do it. You’ll have future pro heroes as the other parent. Not just any of them, the golden class. Class A and B, the ones who fought in wars and defeated the greatest evil. That year alone goes down in history. Your peers still stand in awe as they walk past them in the hallways as do a lot of the school. 

  “Depends on your achievements. The better parent you are, the bigger it gets. Hatsume is the one who made them. For all we know, you guys could raise teenagers,” He turns his head towards you. “And get a taste of your own medicine.”

  “I’d be an excellent parent. I’m just not sure about heroes.”

He points at you. “Keep playing. I dare you.” His threat earns a couple of chuckles in the class and even a smile that you try to fight. 

  Riko, a girl a few rows away from you, bounces in her seat. “Who do we get?” 

“See? Be like Riko.” He gestures to her but stares dead at you. He has always been the teacher that tries to be personal and familiar and use first names. It’s refreshing since you’re so used to using first names anyway.

“Why are you picking with me…” You whine.

  “Because you don’t listen.” You scoff when Ema hums in agreement. “Traitor.” You grumble. 

“Mr. Snipe! Who are we getting?” Riko asks again. You are not surprised to see all of these people be thrilled about it. You raise your hand. 

“ What.” Snipe taps his foot, already tired and the day just started. “Is this going to get in the way of school or is this project not during class hours?” 

  “I forgot about that…” Riko sinks into her seat. Other complaints echo off the walls. Small voices finally decide to ask the right questions. Repeating yours, about finances, hero schedules, are we allowed to go into each other's dorms (of course, that was by Riko). 

  “This is all up to you. Now, they’ll be coming here soon. We’ll draw names then.” 

“What does that mean? How is it up to us?”

   Benio turns to you and says, “He means if we raise it right, it won’t go off. Depending on how good of a parent you are, kind of thing.”

You slump in your seat with growing stress. It’s going to grow. You’re not being graded on how much it cries or something like you did in middle school. No, this is like reality. Because of the hero course, you’re going to be somebody’s baby mama. 

“I hope I get Deku…” Ema says to herself and sports a light blush. She’s always been an Izuku Midoriya fan for as long as you’ve known her, which hasn’t been for very long. After the big showdown, he only had embers of whatever the hell the quirk was. Over time, he trained those embers to make them stronger and to be his own. No ghost guidance or whatever and a bad history attached. He was no longer All Might Jr., but Deku. Considered a hero in his own right. Plus, that new suit he got made him a hit among those who liked Batman or other comics. 

   At least that’s how you took the explanation? You're probably forgetting something but if you ask Ema, she’d go on and on. There aren't enough hours in a day for that. 

“I want Todoroki!” Riko squeals and bounces up and down in her seat. You can’t help yourself. “Girl, that’s dangerous.”

  “Making fun of what he’s been through isn’t funny.” Benio, a normal high schooler who is firm in his convictions, rebukes. You turn to him and look into his gold eyes. 

  “I’m not. I’m simply saying that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Plus, it’s also the reason for this assignment, right Snipe?”

  Your teacher looks up at you. He’s trying to make it seem that it is to benefit both courses but it’s just not. Not when this whole thing is caused by Endeavor and Touya. Clearly, U.A. is doing this for them, not for General Studies. He even said so. There is nothing for you here other than to train the future pros to be better parents so there wouldn't be another League. 

“Yes. It is also a new program that we’re trying whether you like it or not. It benefits everyone.” Snipe ends short. "What about necessities? Food, money, diapers, all of that. Do we buy our own or do you provide?"

You hate how you have to ask these questions. "U.A. has its own formula, bottles, and diapers. Due to it being mechanical, there's no way normal things would work."

"Do we pay for them?" Snipe nods slowly. Before you can complain again, the door opens and the veteran hero, Eraserhead, enters the room with his students. The future pros stand in line. The majority of them have smiling faces for their juniors. Some are blank. Since the big showdown, they have all grown. Taller, wider, buffer, smarter, all of it. It’s insane to think they were little twerps before. 

  “Where’s Deku?” Ema asks as she looks at all of them. Her pure black eyes survey the future pros. “He’s away right now! He’s training with his new suit, so he’ll be gone for a bit. But you have me!” Kaminari or Calamari whatever the fuck it is, smirks at her. 

   “No thanks.” You snort at her look of disgust. Lips curled, brows furrowed and she’s leaning back like she saw vomit. 

“Ouch.”

Hatsume enters the large classroom with a wagon in tow. All of the babies are of different colors and sizes. Some are very petite and others have rolls. They look like your average baby doll.

“Now class, listen up. We’ll draw names and to fit two parents together then you’ll get an assigned baby. We’ll provide birth certificates and activate the kid.”

  There is a feeling in your gut that this will not go well. You don’t mean to put it in the atmosphere at all. Since you’re stuck with this dumb thing, you hope you are wrong.

“Benio with Yaoyorozu.” You hear a curse under someone’s breath. He gets up and walks to your teacher for his baby. Benio and Yaoyorozu receive a normal sized baby. Benio quickly supports the head. In Yaoyorozu’s hand is the certificate wanting a name for it and their parent’s signature. 

  The door opens again and a hero course student from Class B walks in. If you remember right, he’s the drill guy. Someone who can turn his body really fast or something. He scratches his head and gives a short wave to the class. “Ah, there weren't enough students from the other General Studies.”

  “Alright, you and (Y/n).” You get up and go to the front to get your project. Mei hands it to you, not the future hero, and gives you the paper as well. You support the chubby baby’s head. Like your average doll, it has plastic skin and blank open eyes. You go back to your seat and wait for him. He stands there awkwardly. “Um, come with me.” 

“Why?” There are enough chairs for him, you note as you look around. Benio’s desk is empty. Snipe sighs. “(Y/n), go with him.”

“Why? This classroom is huge. He can sit down.” 

  “( Y/n), go.” Snipe points to the door. Slowly, you get up and head for the door, glaring at your teacher. You follow the drill guy closely. He opens the Class B room. You sit down and wait for him to follow you. Now that he’s next to you, he introduces himself. 

“I’m Sen Kaibara. Your name’s (Y/n)?” He has a small smile on his face. His eyes study you closely. You nod at his question. “Let’s get down to it.” You open the baby’s diaper and see that it’s a boy. “It’s a bouncing baby boy.” There are faint red spots on his legs. They aren’t bumps or anything. Maybe the diaper is too tight. You quickly close it before he pees on you. 

“Okay, what should we name him?” You have a few in mind. However, he also has a say in them and he probably won’t like them. Everything’s fine as long as the little boy has a name you can say and spell. Sen taps his chin and his eyes dart around. He snaps his fingers and asks, “How about my name?”

“No. And nothing I can’t pronounce, either.” He scoffs. “You’re not giving me a chance.” 

 “Neither are you. Something that we can both write and pronounce.” That’s it. In the end, that’s what you want. And for him not to be a junior. 

   The two of you decided on Noa, much to his annoyance. Clearly, you don’t get along. Not when it’s like this. All you asked was a simple thing. Yes, you can say Sen. But it doesn’t fit the baby. Yes, he can have a say so in the name. You only wanted a name you can spell and pronounce that doesn’t involve ‘junior’. It’s a name that both of you agreed with and is simple. 

   To you, it wasn’t difficult or a lot to ask for. To him, he’s red in the face as he turns it in. It was a simple disagreement. Why is he frowning so much? Snipe looks it over. “Ah, Noa? Nice name.” 

  Noa begins to get fussy. You look him over to see what’s wrong. You gasp at your discovery. His face changed from a baby doll look to one of an actual baby. His face is a mixture of yours and Kaibara’s. Honestly, mainly yours. Your eyes and mouth, especially. His plastic skin becomes soft like it's real and his weight now settles in. He looks and feels real.

   “That’s normal. Everything changes in time.” 

-------------

  

Unfortunately, things do change. Right as you adjust Noa so you are able to write, he freaks. Everyone’s head turns to you. Ema, God bless her, soothes you as you try to do the same to Noa. It’s crazy, you’ve baby sat before and aren’t bad with kids or babies. Yet with Noa you’re all thumbs. 

  “Bounce him gently. Do you have a bo-bo?” You snap your head. “A what?”

You can barely hear her over Noa's shrill cry. He shakes as he continues to wail. She shifts awkwardly. “A binky. A pacifier. It’s what we’ve always called it.”

  “I’m really irritated right now so usually I’d like, stab you or something but that’s cute.”

  Ema holds in a laugh. “Thank you for your generosity.” Mr. Snipe calls your name. “I know, I know! He won’t calm down.” 

  He sighs. “The bag we gave you has some supplies in it. The school’s formula, a bottle, a set of diapers, pamphlet all of that. Try different things,” He addresses the class. “Learn from this everyone. Plus, the items in the bag are samples. You’re going to have to do what you can by yourself.”

  You set the diaper bag between your knees and unzip it. Inside are the supplies Snipe mentioned. His screams get louder. Suddenly, another baby follows suit, awoken by Noa. Jule immediately glares at you. You mutter several apologies and fumble the silver formula packet which is surprisingly in a liquid form. 

  Your fingers shake whether from stress or the bouncing you're doing with your whole body, totally dedicated to the rhythm. You pour the contents in the red and white bottle to shake it. Putting it in his mouth, he refuses to suckle. 

“W-what?” You look at Snipe confused. He taps his foot and crosses his arms. Jule’s baby is quiet now, abruptly stops by your amazement. “How?” Jule shows you the bottle. “She’s hungry. Is Noa not-” 

“Let her deal with it.” Snipe sighs. Riko frowns. “Doesn’t it take a village to raise a child?”

  “Not for this project, no.” She sits up straighter. “Don’t you think you should be more patient? This was bound to happen.”

  “You,” He points to you. “Outside so we can continue class.” 

“Fucking asshole.”

“Watch it.”

You struggle to stand up without dropping him or anything else. Ema, bless her once more Lord, comes in and helps you with your things. You make haste to exit the classroom that is growing increasingly annoyed. 

  You try to feed him once again and when that doesn’t work, you set him on the ground to check his diaper. The redness is still there but he is dry. Throwing your hands in the air, you give up and head to Kaibara’s class. You don’t even bother to knock since literally everyone can hear you coming a mile away. 

   “Kaibara?” The class looks at you with their hero uniforms on. “Can you try? Nothing I’m doing is working.”

“I’m busy. I’ll visit later, okay? Try putting on a movie or singing to him or something. I gotta go.” He leaves you standing in the middle of his classroom.

“In the middle of school? Put on a movie in the middle of class?” You scoff and move in front of him, preventing him from walking away. Some of his classmates look at the two of you. You notice that not a single one of them have their babies. Their teacher, Dracula or something, pauses his speech and eyes you. “Kaibara, handle this as a father would. Alright class, let’s go.”

 “Kaibara-” He cuts you off with a short response. “Not now.” He rushes past you to join and laugh with his friends as Noa continues to cry. Dracula pats your shoulder and apologizes. 

______________

You decide to rock him rather than bounce. Soon after, he begins to quiet down, making you want to scream in his place. The bottle in your hand beeps. You look at it and see the word ‘spoiled’ on it with Hatsume’s face on it with a peace sign. 

  Still rocking him, you set your bag down on the ground to get a better look inside it to see how much you have. “No…” That was the only formula packet. Sighing, you pick it up and carefully rise up, with your knees cracking every inch. You head to the support course and walk inside. Power Loader is about to scold you for not knocking but stops himself immediately. “Is something wrong?”

“I need more formula, please.” Hatsume pops up out of nowhere. If you had the energy, you’d punch her for everything she’s ever done to you. 

  “Let me see, let me see!” She moves your arm enough to look at him. “Ah, he hasn’t grown; tsk, tsk.” You literally just got him. Like, a couple of hours ago.

 “Give me the formula.” 

  She sighs and shows you a set of packets and tells you the price. Your jaw drops. “You can’t be serious.” 

  “Yep, yep! Hand it over.” Regular formula is half the price and she’s handing you six packets. One per bottle. “Is one packet for one bottle?”

“Preferably. If you water it down then the baby isn’t getting the nutrients. Don’t try to skimp on my baby, little baby!” 

The door behind you opens and shuts. Benio comes to your side. “She keeps throwing up, is your formula faulty?”

  Hatsume twitches. “ No! These are based on real babies and not every baby can have the same formula.”

  She, again out of nowhere, brings out a pink pouch. “Specialized!” You’re about to have a heart attack when she tells him how much his is. It’s even more than yours. “Fine. I’ll take four cases.”

Ah, that’s right. His parents make a lot of money, and his stipend is more than yours. Because you are a scholarship kid, your amount is lower. No one has told you by how much, though. 

Embarrassed, you put up two fingers. She hands them to you and is gracious enough to place them in the diaper bag. Your eyes are downcast. 

  “Everything’ll be okay.” Hatsume says. You don’t ask what the money is for even though you are curious.

While you're here, you speak up to Noa's demonic creator. Ever since you got him, his groin has been red and irritated. You want to smack yourself when you finally piece together that he has a rash.

"Is there something wrong with the diapers? He's terribly red ever since it was put on him." You hand him over to her and she places him on a clear spot on her desk. "Ah, he's allergic! Good thing I have something for tha-"

"Special diapers?"

She puts her hands on her hips. "Why didn't you let me finish?"

"Let me buy them, please." You see the box of diapers in her hand. Already your stomach is in knots. Strangely, she looks into your eyes without a smile. No expression on her face. It looks like she's focused on you. "Are you okay?"

You nod and hum. It doesn't feel right to let this bother you.

 "Here's some samples. Let me know if they work, okay?" She hands you three blue diapers. Unlike the regular ones that have the U.A. design on them, this one is pure blue with the U.A. emblem on the top. You don't realize it until you quickly change Noa and see the redness start to fade. Your eyes are watery. Not to the point of tears rolling out but close enough that Mei cared.

You clear your throat. "I'll um, let you know. If they work, I'll buy some more."

___________________________

Sitting at your usual lunch table with Ema, Benio, and Riko, you struggle to eat your lunch one handed. The other is occupied with holding Noa. Luckily, he is peacefully sleeping.

“You should really get a carrier or a wrap. It’ll be much easier.” Ema, who got Kirishima, eats her piece of chicken. New voices are loud enough to gain your table’s attention. 

“Mm! Gotta go. We promised we’d sit together for the sake of our daughter.” She gets up and leaves you in awe of her communication skills. “I wish that were me. I can’t Yaoyorozu to sit still.”

“I don’t even want to.” Riko says. You forgot who she got but her forlorn face clearly says it’s not Todoroki. 

“Not many of them even carry their kids. Like, Kirishima is the first I’ve seen.” You point to him sitting next to Ema. She didn’t get Midoriya like she wanted. Nevertheless, she got one of the better ones out of the bunch. In fact, he’s bragging about her. Showing everyone his daughter like a real proud father. 

   “Damn it…” You mutter. Searching around the cafeteria, you say, “I can’t even see Kaibara. Maybe we should exchange numbers. I have to tell him that Noa can't have the regular diapers.”

“You don't have his number?” You shake your head no. Riko frowns and rocks her carrier. “(Y/n)! That's, like, the first thing you should do.”

“I know, I know. He ignores me, though! Today I couldn’t console Noa. So, I went to him for help and he totally blew me off. He didn’t even look at him. Like Benio over here, I cannot get this guy to sit still.”

“Try again. If I can get her to cough it up, you can too.” He finishes his plate fast. Benio rhythmically taps his foot. His eyes focus on the table, clearly pissed off. You want to reach out and tell him it’ll be okay. That she’ll come around and you are in this together. Right now, he’s at the stage where he’ll snap at anyone and you prefer to live.

“You guys are so lucky. I got stuck with a creep.” That can only be one person. You gasp. “That grape dude? He’s still alive?” You didn’t even see him in class. It was probably the Lord doing that.

“Yep,” She pops her ‘p’. She pushes her broccoli around. Riko tenses up and her bottom lip sticks out slightly. “All I get are innuendos. I want to meet up? He’ll flirt and suggest another child. I don’t feel safe at all.” She mumbles. Your protective instincts start to flare up. It’s not normal for you to feel this way, either. How could he do this? Yes, she’s smart and pretty. But that doesn’t mean jack crap. Being disgusting towards her is wrong. Where are his morals? She isn't interested. She said no!

   “If you want to have supervised visits, I’ll be happy to be there. Make it into a play date sort of thing.” It isn't much to offer but at least it's out there. Her lips wobble as she smiles at you. “I would like that, please.”

“Has it gotten that bad already? The project just started.” Benio rubs her back. “Yeah, already. He keeps blowing up my phone. I got in trouble for it in class, remember?” Yeah. English class was a sight when her phone vibrated so much it shook off the desk. The teacher's vein nearly popped due to the interruptions. 

   “Let me see.” Benio grabs her phone and checks. With every scroll his eyes get wider. “The fuck? We have to tell the teachers.”

“They’ll just say, ‘it’s like real life’.” She mimics their voice. You hold out your hand to reach her. Whatever is on that phone, has made Benio even madder. Steam practically comes out of his ears. “Yeah, but this is sexual harassment. Something that is punishable.” 

  “Will you go with me?” You and Benio don’t need to be told twice. You spot Kaibara with the red headed big hand girl. You get up and go to him. “I’ll be right back. When I get back, we’ll go directly to Snipe.”

  You make your way to him. He laughs and snickers with her, neither one having their baby in hand. “Yo, Kaibara.” 

  He stops and turns to you. “I need to talk to you.”

“I’m busy right now. I’ve worked hard, I’d like to eat.” You tap your foot and suck your lips in before you speak. “The only thing I see is you jaw jacking and not a single bit of food got in your mouth. All I’m asking for is a minute. I need to talk to you about our baby.”

"Fake baby."

The red head inhales her food. “Mm! That reminds me, I have to go find her. I promised I’d watch the baby.” 

“Watch? That’s your kid. You’re not babysitting, you're supposed to be raising.” 

   She freezes and you turn to Kaibara. “Come on.”

“After that? You broke her.” He grabs her hand and leads her to the rest of Class B. “At least take my number so we can communicate!” 

 “Later!” He meets up with his friends and Red looks back at me with a guilty look. She lets go of his hand and goes somewhere else. 

  “Come on, let’s go to Snipe.” You guide Riko up from the table. “What’re you going to him for?” Kaibara miraculously is able to hear you, apparently. He pokes his head up above his friends’ shoulders to peer at you. He goes behind one of them and asks again. 

“None of your business,” You snap. Your thumb rubs Riko's hand in an attempt to comfort her. “Come on.” Riko gets up and packs her things while Benio throws everything away. Sen calls out to you again, wondering why you’re going to Snipe. “Later!” You yell.

He really should’ve given his number.

---------------

You stand in the hallway with Benio. Both of your backs are leaning against the wall. You hear Riko’s muffled voice as well as Eraserhead and Snipe. The three of you called them together and showed them the messages. Benio didn’t see them all and you didn’t see a thing, which is probably for the best. Noa is still sleeping soundly in your arms. His chubby cheek is nestled close to your chest. You shift your weight on your feet and look at Benio from the corner of your eye.

“Do you think they’re giving him an excuse?” He rolls his eyes. “Don’t start that shit.” Benio snaps. You whip your head towards him. “I’m worried about her, you little bitch. No need to get snappy.”

“I’m worried too. Skank.” 

“Pfft!” You snort. For the first time during lunch period, he cracks a small smile. The door opens and you quickly straighten up. Riko comes out first. “Let’s go, you guys.”

“You sure?” 

“Yeah, we’re excused.” You nod and walk with her, Benio and the babies in tow. “What’s going to happen? Will you be okay?”

“I’ll be alright.” 

-------

  Your arms are becoming numb as you hold Noa. You still don’t have a carrier or the money to afford one. Looking around, everyone is more prepared than you or is just overall better. During lunch, a bunch of them rushed out to buy baby things. Smart bastards.

  Noa is squirming more than ever. He isn't crying (yet) but he looks uncomfortable. Maybe it’s gas? You have to document that on your project's papers. Snipe said to write down all the progress, costs, and at the end there will be a written assignment on all of the notes. It's a weird project and clearly an emotional one. 

“Sen? Sen?” You go yelling through the hallways of his dorm. Tetsutetsu gets up and goes to you with his baby in his arms. “What’s wrong? I can help.”

“Where is Kaibara?” 

“I don’t know. Maybe his room? Is everything okay?” You shake your head no. “No, nothing’s okay. He’s avoiding me and the baby. I need to talk to him.”

  Tetsutetsu clenches his fist. “Bet. Follow me.” He goes through the halls demanding to know where he is. Tetsutetsu barges into Kaibara’s room, the door swinging open so hard it now squeaks. He begins to yell, “ Take responsibility!”

 “Tetsu, what the hell?” Kaibara shoots up and closes his manga. “You? What’d you do, go to Snipe and have Tetsu on my ass?”

  “No, he did that on his own. We need to discuss the baby. Noa needs things and there are times when your schedule works better than mine. There’s so much we need to talk about.” Although a part of you wants to defend yourself for going to Snipe, it isn’t fair to Riko.

  “I got this, Tetsu.” Kaibara looks into Tetsutetsu’s eyes. “You better. You and the others are giving us a bad name.” 

  He leaves and gives you a nod. You shut the door behind him and hand the baby to Kaibara. “Kaibara, meet Noa. Noa, meet your dad.”

  “That’s not funny. And it is not right to embarrass me like that!” He holds Noa awkwardly and gives him a weird look, as if he's disgusted or freaked out.

“That’s what you’re worried about? We have a whole child right there-”

“He isn’t real!” He yells, surprisingly, not waking Noa up. Your anger begins to grow. “The costs are real! The necessities are real! The grade is definitely real!”

  “Is that what you want? Money?” How the fuck is that what he caught.

“Money? No. I want you to help. I can’t do everything on my own and worry about school. Let’s work on a schedule. Let’s get baby supplies. Communication is amazing, why not do it?”

   He brushes past you roughly, pushing you back a little. “Let’s go then.”

The two of you walk to a baby store, passing the many confused and worried expressions. He dips his head into his hoodie. “I should’ve hid my fucking face or something.”

You roll your eyes. “Did it occur to you that they’re staring at us because we’re two teens with a baby?” He scoffs, throwing the door open and doesn’t hold it for you.

 “Jerk.”

Inside, are rows of colorful clothes. Some are hero merchandise and others have cartoons. After the various clothing for all ages are bottles, diapers, binkies, and the like. In the back is the gold mine for children: lots and lots of toys. 

   “What about this?” You hold up a dinosaur shirt. He rolls his eyes and shrugs. “Can you hold him now?”

  This is the first time today you don’t have him and you're still taking care of him while your partner is right there. “No. It’s your quality time.”

  You put the dinosaur shirt in the cart. Suddenly, Noa screams bloody murder. You turn to Kaibara who’s freaking out. “What the fuck? He just started-”

“Is everything okay?” An employee comes up. Kaibara quickly gives him to you and says, “I gotta go.”

   “At least leave some cash!” He turns around and stomps to you. 

“Fucking knew it. Here.” He hands you twenty bucks. As he slams the door open and shut, he hides his face. You bounce Noa. “Is there a bathroom or something?”

“Yeah, come with me. Leave the cart.” 

In the bathroom, you lower the table. “I fed you, you took a nap, I changed you-”

She looks at his face. "Babies can sense things too, you know?"

You look up at the woman and ask what she meant. "Children can tell how a person is inside." She nudges her head to point out the door. "And that was clear as the sky today."

“Thank you for your help.” It took twenty minutes for him to calm down and thirty for you. The woman behind the counter is a God send. She’s helped you out more than Kaibara has, and you’ve only known her for a short amount of time. You called Snipe to let him know where you were, and he yelled at you for being late. Whatever. It’s his dumb assignment. 

   You put the supplies on the counter, fearing the cost. You grabbed a very cheap wrap, not yet being able to afford a proper carrier. You have his money, and the rest of yours. 

  She looks at you and looks at what’s on the counter. “This isn’t nearly enough. You got some of the essentials. Everything else is missing.”

   “I know, I know. I didn't have time to plan or anything. This was sprung on us today, remember?" You wished you had time to at least finance.

She tells you the total. What he gave you doesn’t cover anything but a few shirts and a bo-bo . You buy everything else with nothing left in your account until payday. 

-----------

As you go home, Noa decides that it's time to rest again. His soft pudgy face is peaceful and his breathing is steady. “I’m sorry about today. And that you still don’t have a bed…” You set him on your bed comfortably. Afterwards, you put everything away in the few drawers you have.

You are in awe of how little he is. Chubby but overall small. It’s ridiculous how much you spent on a fake baby though, no matter how cute. This entire thing is unorthodox even by U.A. standards. Students paying for things with their own money is just too much. How did they expect this to happen? Where is the money going to? 

It’s not a complete loss, anyway. Things can be recycled, donated, or sold at the end. You rub your face and look around at the lack of things he has. No bed, dresser, playpen, and the only toys he has are the stuffed animals that were on your bed. And he’s too young to be playing with them anyway. 

Even though he isn't real, he's not, this is still getting to you. It's way too familiar. You smack your cheeks. He's an assignment, a project, a doll. That's right, a doll. To the side is your white laundry basket. You grab it and put a spare pillow in it, just like you would with your baby dolls when you were a child. “Alright, let’s see if this works.”

   Nope, no it doesn’t. You groan and apologize to Noa, who still does not have a bed. That alone bothers you. He looks up at you for a moment then closes his eyes again. He gives a quick smile revealing two dimples on his chubby cheeks. You give him a little kiss. 

You gasp. You only had him for a day and you've become attached. Not to a serious degree but enough to warrant a kiss. Maybe it’s because of his likeness to being real. He actually looks like he’d be yours. He feels like a baby. The whole thing is confusing you and you think it’s popping your ovaries or something.

You suddenly feel heavy. Today has been nothing but draining. If you can get a few minutes in, just a few. You need to do the responsible thing and take your meds if you’re going to nap. The bottle is too far. The side of the bed your upper body is leaning on is so comfortable. Eyelids heavy, a yawn, and the day that has been so tiring. You just need a few minutes…

   There’s a knock on the door. You perk up and check on Noa, who is still asleep. You wipe your drool from your face and arm. Your knees crack in pain from sleeping on them. “I’m old, so, so old.”

  “Hello?” You say as you open the door. Ema bounces and excitedly tells you, “Deku’s on the phone!”

“Bitch, did you really wake me up for that?” It’s the audacity. The sheer amount of stupid is astounding. 

“Fucker. Anyway, come on! He’s face timing my baby daddy right now.”

  “Hold on, let me get Noa.” You grab your bag that has a pink dress uniform in it and then snatch his diaper bag off of your chair. Right as you're about to leave your room, your eyes find the long mirror. The dry erase marker is fading and needs to be redone, and you must put more reminders on it, too. 

  Your eyes stay there too long. You can feel yourself about to drift away in the color of a light purple and dark blue, swirling around each other with twinkling stars. The smell of lavender starts to push through the scent of the blown out candle in your room. A moon is peering out of the colors, soon to move and send you into another dream. 

  Suddenly, Ema yells your name. It comes into your head like an echo, something distant and not seen. You begin to come out of it when Noa starts to cry. You blink and wipe your eyes. Noa immediately stops crying. “Thanks, bud.”

Downstairs, Kirishima holds his phone out and talks. “We miss you! When are you coming back?” 

   “In a few weeks, I think? Maybe a month. I’m not sure but I'm making tons of progress! I'm starting to feel more secure in my suit."

You enter the commons and spot the spiky redhead talking animatedly to the green on the screen. "It's a cool suit! I like how it looks a lot like your usual-here she is. Her name's (Y/n). (Y/n), meet Izuku Midoriya."

  Your face then takes up the screen. Round green eyes meet yours. He doesn’t say anything at first, he just stares. Finally, he stutters as he introduces himself. Anytime he’s brought up, you’ve been shown this freckled baby face. Now, you’re looking at someone who’s gaining mature definition. His cheeks are a little slimmer and his scar adds a rugged look. His curls are no longer all over his head but are now neatly trimmed. All in all, he is not bad to look at. He’s surprisingly easy on the eyes. 

  “Okay.” Ema elbows you and tells you to be nice. “What? Why am I here?” You whisper back. You feel Midoriya’s eyes on you as you talk. 

“So you won’t be here for a while?” Kirishima sounds sad that his friend is still gone. “I’ll be there soon!”

“You just said-”

“No, no, no. I’ll be there!” He moves his phone in a way that covers the lower half of his face that is growing pink. 

Why are his eyes so round? He looks scared.

Ema chuckles under her breath and smiles at you. You look at the time and jump. “Shit! It’s been nice talking to you, but I’ve got to go.”

  “Alright, see you-”

“It was nice meeting you!” You stop and turn back to look at the green haired guy on the phone. He scratches his head and gives a close eyed smile. Kirishima tells him to calm down. Ema shakes her head slightly. The bright shine in her eyes is dimmed as they go to the floor. A small smile appears on her lips. “Oh, dear. Deku is something else.”

 You bid them goodbye and run to find him. Noa stays calm as you cradle him gently. Finally, you see him as you push past the doors of his dorm. Kaibara is in the Class B commons sitting with his phone in his hand and his bare feet propped up on the coffee table. Many of his class stand around and talk or do homework. You take a deep breath before you say anything, like ‘you’re not helping you dumbass maggot.’ or ‘eat the dust that Shigaraki himself made’. You want to be civil for now.

 “Kaibara, I need you for tonight.” And during the day too, preferably. He straightens up in his seat. Immediately, he frowns.  “What? In the morning-”

“Is your home room. Stop. I need you to watch him in the evenings after school.”

“Until when?” He harshly whispers, looking around at his friends, hoping they don’t see or hear this too much.

“Around seven or eight? I’ll call to let you know.” You take off the diaper bag. “Here you go. By the way, he wears special diapers that Hatsume makes so you'll need to go get some more. He's terribly allergic to the regular ones she makes.”

  “I-I can’t-” He stutters. Right now, he doesn’t look too much like a hero, just some punk ass teen in an Eeyore sweater whose mom just told him to watch his brother for an hour.

You hold up your hand. “You can, and you will. This is your son, right? Someone you wanted as a junior?” You hand him Noa, who is awake. “I’ll see you later, pumpkin.” You give Noa's cheek a poke.

  Kaibara is silent. Completely silent.

------------

“Benio? What’re doing?” You ask just as you’re about to head out of the U.A. gates. You didn't expect to run into him this time of day. He’s stomping with his kid in his arms. Last you saw her, she was wearing a basic outfit to go out. A purple onesie with a cheesey graphic design and some pants. Now she's in lavish clothing that you know he didn't give her. They look expensive and well put together. It's something an Instagram mom would make her kids wear; nothing like a child would be sporting if they had a normal parent. “She’s the fucking worst, I swear to God.”

“Who?”  He can’t possibly be talking about his baby. He likes the kid too much, even though he’ll deny it. The way he looks at her and can't stop cooing is too telling. He's taken gobs of pictures already and the project just started.

   “That bitch, Yaomomo. Or whatever the fuck people call her,” He growls. A pebble flies away by his kick. “You were right. I give up.” 

Your opinions can be controversial, especially in a hero loving society. So, him admitting that is pretty huge. Although you want to gloat, you can’t help but feel bad for him and his descent to anger and hate all caused by a stupid future pro.

[gravityrises]

The Virtues of Stanford Pines

Summary: I've seen people accuse Ford of doing horrible things on one side, and people defending his actions on the other side. But how about we turn the tables and talk about all of the good Ford has done. (At least, that was the plan.)

Word Count: 2813.

Spoilers: Gravity Falls series, Journal 3, The Book of Bill, Lost Legends, thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com

1. He's incredibly hard-working:

Just because someone is smart doesn't mean they don't put a lot of effort into studying and Ford definitely did. It's mentioned twice just in "A Tale of Two Stans," when he tries to convince the college board to give him another chance and when he describes his years at Backupsmore.

And it doesn't stop at intellectual pursuits. In Journal 3 Ford says he exercises daily, despite having always hated physical activity.

Anyway, I don't think anyone is going to argue this point, so let's leave it at that.

2. He's supportive of his friend:

There are going to be a few controversial takes, but I truly believe that Ford was trying to be a good friend to Fiddleford. Now, there were fights between them, and Ford did say quite a few insensitive things both to his face and in the Journal. But overall, I don't think he ever intended to hurt Fiddleford, and he definitely appreciated his friend's company.

When Ford invited Fiddleford to work on the portal, he wrote in the journal: "He (Fiddleford) has sacrificed so much to come to my aid. He has temporarily left his bride and their young son... he has abandoned his own professional aspirations... I must do my best to make him feel at home.... I am off to the store for some banjo strings and microchips!" (quote shortened, because I'm lazy) Clearly, Ford cared about his friend and wanted to make him feel welcome.

He also compliments Fiddleford's "brilliant mind," "amusing quirks" and scrupulous work ethic, by saying "I double-check my equations. He quintuple-checks!"

And I hear you, didn't he claim the complete opposite in the series? According to him, Fiddleford "was wasting his talent trying to make personal computers", right? Well, if we ignore the fact that the creators weren't 100% consistent in their writing, here's how I would reconcile those two statements. Ford thought (erroneously) that his friend's research wasn't important in the grand scheme of things, but it was important to Fiddleford personally. And can you really blame Ford? He was about to demostrate the existence of other dimensions and create a gateway that would allow us to visit them. If something like that happened irl, it would've been a groundbreaking discovery, altering our very understanding of the natural world and how it works. Meanwhile, laptops, at least in Ford's opinion, were just "heavy, slow journals." Still, he knew this work was important to Fiddleford, and he wanted to accommodate that. Hence, his trip to buy microchips (and banjo strings.)

Ford tried (and unfortunately, failed) to help Fiddleford deal with his anxiety. In Journal 3, he mentions teaching Fiddleford some meditation techniques and going to the Carnival, so that Fiddleford would enjoy "a day of relaxation." In the Book of Bill, Ford feels guilty about not getting his friend a gift and decides to throw a surprise Christmas party instead. This was also an attempt to cheer Fiddleford up after his fight with his wife.

"But Ford didn't take Fiddleford's anxiety seriously, and it ruined his life." Okay, let's say you're right. Remember, Ford was raised in the 60s. A time when mental illness or just mental distress were looked down on. What was he supposed to do? Suggest Fiddleford goes to the therapist? I mean, they were studying paranormal creatures, if Fiddleford told those stories to a therapist who didn't believe in these things, there would've been a really high chance of misdiagnosis. Should Ford have simply fired Fiddleford? Well, that wouldn't have been very nice. Also, there is no need to infantilize Fiddleford in the first place, he's a grown-up person capable of makind his own decisions. If the job is too stressful, if the relationship doesn't work out, he has every right to leave, because his life and mental well-being are his responsibility. Instead, he ignored Ford's warnings and decided to use the Memory Gun and start a cult. It was, by the end of the day, Fiddleford's decision. And it's tragic. It really is. No one deserves to lose their family, their mind and their sense of self. It's something Ford feels guilty about, because whether it was intentional or not, he did indirectly contribute to Fiddleford's downfall. That's why, when they finally reunited after 30 years, Ford apologized to Fiddleford. And according to Journal 3, Fiddleford dissmised his apology, leading Ford to say that "Not only is this man's mind superior to mine, but he has one of the biggest hearts I've ever seen."

3. He has no reservations about helping others out:

There's a reason why Ford's the first person people turn to, when there's a problem. He has both the desire and the skills to help people out. Using Dipper's idea, he stops agents from investigating his family. He goes above and beyond just to change a lightbulb in the kitchen. Though morally questionable, he did give the kids a mind control tie with the intent of helping Stan win the elections. In the comics, Stan turns to Ford when Mabel's face is stolen and when Stan himself is cursed by an old chest.

And that's how things were in the past too. In "The Pines Boys in: The Jersey Devil's in the Details", Ford defends his brother, twice. First, when Filbrick accuses Stan of stealing the gold chain from his pawn shop. And then, when the Sibling Brothers offered Ford to let him keep the monster and become famous in exchange for photos that would prove Stan's guilt. And just to add an incentive, they threatened to frame both twins, if Ford didn't comply. Obviously, it didn't work.

According to thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com, that's also how he became friends with Fiddleford: on the very first day, he spent nine hours helping his new friend prove his theory. And in the Book of Bill, when Ford learns that Bill's home dimension was destroyed by a monster, his immediate reaction is to offer help with hunting it down.

Whenever someone's in distress, Ford really wants to help them out, and I don't know about you, but to me that doesn't sound like someone lacking empathy.

4. He's got no qualms questioning the status quo:

In Journal 3, Ford mentions traveling to Northwest Manor to confront Old Man Northwest with evidence of his family's deceit. Instead, he was met by young Preston, who wasn't impressed with his speech and forcibly escorted Ford from the premises.

Also in Journal 3, Ford wanted to debate politics with Reagan. Make of that what you will.

Now this one is more of a conjecture, but in the Book of Bill, this is how Bill compliments him: "Guys as smart as you come along once every century, and they scare the pants off of authority figures!" This lie wouldn't have worked, if it wasn't what Ford actually wanted.

And of course, learning that his former "muse" is one of the most feared beings in the entire multiverse, didn't stop Ford from going on a quest to defeat Bill. Even after witnessing other creatures shriek and cover their ears at the mere mention of Bill's name. Which leads me to my next point.

5. Calling him determined would be a massive understatement:

Forget his sleepless nights at college, forget his extensive research in Gravity Falls, Ford has spent 30 years, let me repeat that again, 30 years traveling across dimensions and looking for a way to destroy Bill Cipher. I haven't even been alive for that long! From the little we know about those years, they were anything but easy. In fact, Ford describes them as "frightening, exciting, cruel, and strange." (And of course, the guy actually does use the Oxford comma in his writing. Who would've thought?) Let me stress that Ford was under no obligation to continue his quest, maybe he could've found a quiet dimension to settle down and live peacefully, in fact, that's something he contemplates while visiting A Better World in Journal 3. But he decides against it. Not because he didn't want to, he literally says that he wanted to revel in his parallel self's success. Not because defeating Bill would get him recognition. It wouldn't, at least not in his home dimension, where no one is even aware of the danger. No, he didn't stay, because his own conscience wouldn't allow it. Ford just couldn't break his vow from 30 years ago, it's as simple as that.

And what does he do, when his plans fall apart? Does he even consider giving up? Of course not! In fact, he ends his tale of interdimensional travel with the following sentence: "My resolve to defeat Bill has never been stronger." It's almost comical, watching him throw anything he can think of at Bill and see what might stick. His battle in the Nightmare Realm was interrupted? He jumps through the portal to stop Bill's forces from entering his dimension. The portal created an interdimensional rift? He tries to contain it. Bill threatens to get his hands on the rift? This time Ford has two ideas: he tries to encrypt Dipper's thoughts and creates a mystical barrier around the house. The worst happens and the world is about to end? Well, get in loser, we're going to shoot Bill with Quantum Destabilizer. Ford misses and is captured? Not to worry, there's a Zodiac prophecy, we can give that a try. It doesn't work, because two grown men can't put aside their grievances for just a few seconds, gosh that scene is so frustrating to watch. Well, here is another idea: one can erase Bill with a memory gun as long as he's in someone's mind. I don't know what else to say, Ford really did his homework, when he set out to destroy Bill.

6. He has the patience of a saint:

Wow, now here's a controversial take. Remember Stan's "Beep boop. I am a nerd robot. That's you. That's what you sound like," which Ford just laughs off. Yes, that's what siblings do all the time. And yes, this teasing does come from a place of hurt. Stan was feeling like "the stupid twin," "a dumb idiot who screws everything up," so Ford felt like he just had to put up with this. But it's still hurtful to be mocked for your interests. It really feels like their relationship was already a little strained even before the Science Fair Project Incident.

What about the fact that he was the first to stop the fight in "Dungeons, Dungeons, and more Dungeons" and suggesting Stan might actually have fun, if he joined their game?

Or all the snide comments Stan made, when they reunited during Weirdmageddon, including "Well, he's lost his mind" and "You really think some caveman graffiti is gonna stop that monster?" All of which Ford simply ignored. Yes, he did correct Stan's grammar under the worst of circumstances, I agree, but you know, everyone has their pet peeves.

What people often forget is just how difficult it is to be a kind person, when you're stressed. It is much easier to treat people with respect and understanding, when you yourself are doing fine. So is it that big of a surprise, that someone who's under pressure, sleep-deprived and/or in pain might be more prone to outbursts? And we know how traumatic Ford's experience of being bullied as a kid was, how much suffering Bill put him through, how difficult his years on the other side of the portal were and how much pressure he was under, trying to prevent a literal end of the world. It's ironic that the people who blame Ford for his lack of empathy, really don't show him any empathy themselves.

7. Even under torture, he didn't reveal the equation that would've allowed Bill to take over the world:

Do I really have to spell it out? Look, as someone who was on the verge of mental breakdown from a simple toothache, I have nothing else to say other than: This is admirable. And he did it to protect the world that, need I remind you, wasn't particularly kind to him. On the same note, he just never joined Bill in the first place: not in the 80s, and not during Weirdmageddon.

"Oh, but he's the one who started the Apocalypse, so he kind of deserved it." Seriously? No, I mean it, are you being serious? Is that something you would say to a person suffering from diabetes type 2, that it's their fault for eating too many sweets; or to someone with liver cirrhosis that they deserve to suffer because of their alcohol addiction? Because this is neither appropriate, nor helpful. Talk about kicking someone when they're down...

8. He's fiercely loyal to his family:

I think the way Ford compliments his grandniece in "The Last Mabelcorn" is very revealing: "You've protected your family. You're a good person, Mabel." His very definition of a "good person" is "someone who supports and protects their family." Which is... interesting to say the least, considering that Ford has spent a very long time away from his family and completely alone. But it does sound like something he aspires to. That's why he goes out of his way to help his family out, whenever they're in trouble. (See point 3 for more on this.)

When Bill threatens the kids, Ford is willing to risk the entire universe for a slim chance that they might be spared. It's a cruel Trolley Problem, which once again proves just how much he values his family. Still, this is some Fate/Zero level angst and I don't want to talk about it more than I absolutely have to. Let's finish this up with something more lighthearted.

9. He's never lost curiosity and childlike wonder:

This! This is what made me fall in love with the man and why I'm wasting my time writing this nonsense in the first place. This allconsuming excitement, when he finds a new anomaly to study; this seemingly endless energy, when he explores new places; this pure joy, when he gets to play DD&MD with Dipper! I don't know how to talk about it without gushing.

Ford obviously loves games, and not just DD&MD. He plays chess with Bill. He mentions being great at charades in the comics. And what cracks me up the most: during Weirdmageddon, when Pacifica compared the Zodiac to a game of hopscotch, not only did not Ford get offended, but he replied: "It would be a pretty fun game of hopscotch." Ford, darling, the world is about to end, is this really the best time to contemplate a hypothetical game of hopscotch? Also, you've just been through something traumatic... Forget it, you've been through 3 decades of traumatic experiences, can you at least have the decency to become a tad more cynical as you age, like the rest of us. I guess, mirth really is the mail of anguish. (It's from Emily Dickinson's poem and the quote means that some people act cheerful to hide their suffering.)

Also, something Ford doesn't get enough credit for, mostly because people usually focus on his academic achievements, but he is quite creative. He draws incredibly detailed sketches not only depicting various anomalies he encounters, but also whatever happens in his life. (Probably off-topic, but I find the implications of that karaoke page so funny. Think about it: the guy sobered up, looked at the incomprehensible nonsense he had written the previous night and thought: "You know what? This could really use an illustration.") Also don't forget that he canonically plays piano. Yeah, if I were Stan, I'd be jealous too.

And of course, that's why he's so passionate about science. Sure, part of him wants the fame and recognition that would come, if he makes a big discovery, but you can't deny that he genuinely enjoys learning new things. And that he enjoys sharing them with whoever is willing to listen.

In conclusion, I'm not trying to say that Ford is perfect in every way and has never done a single wrong thing in his life. To be honest, that would've made him a really boring character. So, yes, he is flawed, and misguided, and sometimes insensitive. He's made a lot of missteps because of his upbringing, personality and, as many have speculated, neurodivergence. But I really take issue with people saying Ford's a bad person, when he clearly isn't. Ford is and always was a good person, and by the end of all the trials he became a better person. One who understands that the only way to success is cooperation, not being a lone vigilante. That it's not a weakness to ask for help or to need help in the first place. And that a sea otter shared is a sea otter halved.

That's strange... why did I write that?

[corruptedcaps]

Nurse Stacey

Stacey’s first day as an interning nurse wasn’t going well. How was she suppose to know she had to provide her own uniform? Although the rest of the girls from her class seemed to know as they were all dressed and ready for work. She knew it was somehow Bree’s, her bitchy classmate, fault.

Bree was clearly jealous of Stacey’s innate smarts and aptitude for the job but Bree also made it no secret that she was studying to become a nurse just so she could sink her claws into the richest doctor available. She didn’t want anyone taking any spotlight away from her in anyway so constantly set Stacey up to fail.

However Bree had ‘modified’ her uniform to make it so eyes were always on her anyway. Her tight uniform showed as much skin as was possible under the rules, so bullying Stacey at this point was just a bonus. By lunchtime on her first day Stacey was pulled aside by the head doctor, Lawrence, and told she needed to find a uniform that was white and red like everyone else’s by end of day otherwise she would be let go.

“I’m sorry Stacey but I’ve had complaints from some of the other interns that you aren’t taking your time here very seriously and it’s reflecting poorly on them so please find something appropriate to wear otherwise I’ll have to give you a failing grade.” He said leaving her alone to fume. Her? Inappropriate? Bree was the one with the ‘modified’ uniform, her tits practically dripping out.

“But by the end of day? How can I possibly do that with the rest of my work?” Stacey said to herself after Lawrence walked away.

“Maybe you should use your lunch hour, god knows you could lose a few pounds.” Bree said cruelly chiming in.

Stacey stormed into the locker room to try and find some nurse scrubs, even dirty ones but came up empty. Frustrated she banged against the lockers but felt them shake more than normal against the wall. That’s when she realized they weren’t up against a wall, but a door. Curious, she pulled out the set of lockers to reveal the door. It had been painted over but it was clearly a door and even had a name plate too.

Sliding the plate off she scratched and chipped away at the paint until it revealed it read ‘Head Nurse’. It was only then that she realized that the hospital didn’t have a head nurse. It wasn’t unusual for a hospital not to have one but it certainly was strange for a hospital to have an office for one that didn’t exist. However Stacey also realized that this may be the solution to her problems. Any good head nurse would have a spare change of scrubs in case of emergency.

Pushing the paint covered door hard enough until it gave in, Stacey fell inside to find a long forgotten and dusty room. It was sparsely decorated and had little furniture. What furniture it did have was odd. For example it had a rather plush looking bed and velvety sofa. It looked more like a room to entertain than one to work in but her eyes were soon drawn to a clothes mannequin in the corner. This would be what she needed.

However as she got closer to it she saw that the outfit was far from what she expected. Instead it looked like some sort of slutty Halloween version of a nurses outfit. It was made of white and red spandex and was incredibly short and looked like she wouldn’t be able to breath in it despite it’s flexibility. Stacey would never wear such a thing even as a joke let alone for work but as the end of the day was looming she realized it was her last hope. If nothing else it could buy her time to get a proper uniform after work somewhere.

Stripping down to her underwear she eyed the outfit and realized that she would need to be totally naked to squeeze into it. Locking the door to the office she then removed the last of her clothes and stood for a moment looking at her reflection in the large mirror in the corner.

She was by no means ugly but she was certainly out of shape and unkempt looking. She just never had time to work out and primp herself due to all her studying. She had sacrificed a lot to be where she was and now she was on the brink of losing it because of some gold digging jealous bitch. Her anger spurred her on. She pulled the outfit off the mannequin and held her breath as she slipped into it and zipped it up.

It was the tightest thing she had ever worn and yet she didn’t feel uncomfortable. There was a certain safety she felt by having it close to her skin and yet at the same time it felt as though she were naked. It gave her a weird sense of power, like the outfit was a kind of armour. Taking a moment she looked at herself in the mirror and strangely didn’t think she looked silly as she thought she might have. She didn’t feel shy or reserved either, she felt sexy. Even the antiquated hat looked good on her.

“Wow a head nurse wearing this? I imagine all all the staff were eating out of the palm of her hand, especially the hunky doctors looking like this.” She said to herself in admiration of the previous owner of the outfit. She felt light headed wearing it, like she didn’t have a care in the world which she quickly put down to the outfit cutting down on the blood circulation. It wasn’t tight everywhere however as the outfit was clearly meant for someone with a much larger cup size.

“Even though I don’t fill it out perfectly I think this should keep me from being fired today.” She said to herself preparing to leave but suddenly hearing a voice in her head.

“Fired? Who would dare fire the head nurse?” The voice purred in her mind.

“W-who said that?” Stacey said looking around seeing no one.

“Why me of course, your uniform. I am designed specifically for the head nurse. That’s you of course, correct?” The voice replied. Stacey thought she was losing her mind. Maybe the uniform was cutting off more blood to her brain than she thought.

“Eh yes I’m Stacey, the new, eh, head nurse.” Stacey replied trying to humor her own delusion.

“Stacey? No no no that won’t do, that’s not commanding enough. No you will be Anastasia from now on. Now let me get started.” The voice continued.

“Started with w-?” Stacey began but suddenly felt an intense heat begin in her stomach and reverberate outward. However it wasn’t unpleasant and in fact was quite pleasing making her involuntarily moan.

“Whhhhaaaaat arrrreee youuuuu doooooing?” Stacey groaned as the feeling intensified.

“Why I’m remaking your body of course, didn’t you read your head nurse contract? It’s standard procedure for all new head nurses to undergo a bitchification process. You need to be strong and tough to have this job after all.” The voice said matter of factly.

Stacey felt the uniform crunch in her stomach and her body moulded to its sleek and curvy contours. Her hips flared out, her butt became plump while her waist shrank. It felt good.

And yet she knew what was happening was wrong, she wasn’t the head nurse and pretending to be one would only land her in hot water. She needed to take off the uniform even if it was the more pleasurable thing she had ever felt.

“Noooo stop, this isn’t right. I’m not the head nurse.” She groaned while the changes continued. Hot red nails shot out from the ends of her fingers as her lips inflated into soft kissable pillows. Her tits grew bigger and bigger until it felt as though they’d rip the uniform.

“Of course, it’s perfectly normal to feel that way during this process but the next phase should put you at ease.” The uniform replied to her in words and then in actions as Stacey suddenly felt a barrage of information be thrown at her mind.

Expert medical advice was downloaded in an instant to her mind, knowledge that would have taken a lifetime to learn was suddenly as simple to her as two plus two. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad she thought to herself, she could make a real difference with a mind like hers now.

Just as she was having this altruistic thought, however, she heard bitchy mantras and creeds echo in her head.

Profits over people.

Power is Queen, the Queen will have power.

Serving the hospital so you will be served.

Greed, beauty, excess, fear.

They repeated over and over again in her mind, it was clear that the head nurse wasn’t there to help the patients, she was meant to help the hospital. Stacey was disgusted but the more she heard the words the more she was nodding along. She tried to resist but the conditioning was too strong.

She didn’t want to become a bitch but the temptation was getting hard to deny. Why should she have to work so hard when sluts like Bree walked all over her. Thinking about what a spoilt bitch Bree was ironically sealed Stacey’s fate. Knowing she’d have the power to command Bree to do whatever she said made Stacey unbearably wet. She wanted that more than anything.

“Yeesss you’re right, I was just doubting myself. That’ll never happen again. Insecure nurse Stacey is dead, confident, gorgeous head nurse Anastasia has arrived.” She purred with a new bitchy tone. She expected the uniform to reply but it said nothing. Having completed its job it went back into a dormant state.

Anastasia meanwhile walked over to the upright mirror and took in her new form. She looked every bit the wet dream she felt. Her outrageous beauty was complemented by her steely cold gaze, a duo that would give her the ultimate power over the staff and patients of HER hospital.

However she needed to make it official and there was one person she knew who could rubber stamp her new position and she would make it so he would beg her to be head nurse.

The next morning, the staff of the hospital were gathered outside Lawrence’s office after being summoned there 20 minutes ago. They weren’t certain but some could have sworn that they heard grunting, moaning and spanking.

Bree arrived with her cohort just as Lawrence exited his office, with his tie askew. Bree looked around and was happy to see Stacey not present.

“Guess poor Stacey didn’t find any spare uniforms. Such bad timing that we had offered to wash all the spares this morning, we could have given her one.” Bree smirked satisfied to herself as her friends giggled knowingly.

“Thank you all for coming on such short notice. I’ll make this brief. I’m proud to announce that starting today we have a long over due position returning. The position of head nurse!” Lawrence declared and the staff broke out into a murmur.

Bree and her friends broke into an excited chatter. This could be the stepping stone Bree needed to bag herself a rich doctor. If she became Head Nurse she would work intimately with the upper crust of the hospital. Sure there were more senior nurses but she had a way of getting what she wanted.

“After a long decision process I have decided to fill the position with one of our newest nurses. I know this might irk some of the senior staff but I believe a new position needs new blood.” Lawrence said and Bree felt his eyes land on her. Could she be getting her wish so soon? Of course, there was no other answer.

“So will you all please welcome your new head nurse, Anastasia.” Lawrence announced loudly as a brunette beauty strode out from his office. The staff were completely gobsmacked by the reveal of Anastasia, clad in the tightest uniform they had ever seen.

“Now that is no way to great your new head nurse, is it? Applaud. ” Anastasia said with a long stare that sent a shiver down everyone’s spine. Slowly they began to clap and Anastasia basked in their fearful reverence.

“Now Anastasia will get reacquainted with everyone over the next few days but for now back to work.” Lawrence said and looked over to Anastasia for an approving look but finding only her cold withering stare. Nevertheless he became aroused and quickly left to do his rounds along with most of the staff. Most except Bree and her gang.

“You might have Lawrence fooled with these fake tits, and slutty makeup but I know you’re still a loser Stacey and I’ll have your job by the end of the week.” Bree said defiantly. Anastasia smiled at her unnervingly and slowly clopped over to her in her high heels. As tough as Bree fronted she soon cowered before her new head nurse as she was backed into a corner with her friends.

“That’s head nurse Anastasia worm. You can be as insolent as you like but I now control your passing grades. If you don’t do exactly as I say I’ll fail you, all of you, and blacklist the lot of you from working in any hospital in this country. No job, no hot doctors, no life of luxury.” She said bearing down on the frightened young women.

“But follow me, learn from me and I’ll recommend you as Head Nurses to our sister locations. They’ll be some ‘training’ involved of course but you’ll earn yourself a uniform like mine and the power that comes with it. Understood?” Anastasia said in a cold purr that had all of Bree’s friends nodding enraptured.

“Good. Now off you go, training begins tomorrow.” Anastasia said standing back and allowing the women to escape. But yet again, Bree stood in rebellious rage.

“Screw you slut, my daddy is rich and is on the board of the hospital, if you think your theatrics intimidate me you-” Bree began but was quickly silenced by Anastasia who grabbed the girl by her neck and lifted her off the floor with ease, the uniform granting her super human strength.

“Silence, I heard just about enough of you. I know about your daddy and the power he had over the hospital. Who do you think gave Lawrence the go ahead for my promotion? Your daddy is under my thumb now and he will do exactly as I command, something you’re going to learn to do starting now.” Anastasia cackled as she dragged the young nurse to her office and threw her to the floor.

“Now loser you’re going to clean this place too to bottom. I want all this dust gone by the end of day, if you don’t consider your future as a nurse ended.” The bitchy head nurse said smirking down at Bree.

“By the end of day? How can I possibly do that with the rest of my work?” Bree said to Anastasia who just looked at her as if she were an ant.

“Maybe you should use your lunch hour, god knows you could lose a few pounds.” Anastasia said smirking cruelly at Bree.

THE END

[iamnmbr3]

What did lily do exactly do destroy voldemort? hasn't anyone sacrificed themselves before for someone they loved?

Yeah I feel like the canon explanation doesn't go far enough. If it was that simple I think it would happen more and would've been something Tom would've known about. Especially since lots of people were fighting and in danger during the first reign of Voldemort and during Grindelwald's period of power. So this sort of thing would've happened at least one other time, even if there were several conditions to be met (like Lily specifically not having originally been a target and being offered the chance to live).

We also only have Dumbledore's word for what happened and how it works and even though out of universe we're supposed to take this at face value, in universe we've certainly seen that he can often be wrong (or dishonest).

We know that in the world of Harry Potter blood magic and blood sacrifice can have great power. This seems to be a branch of magic that is less studied and is more associated with dark magic. The ritual Tom uses to create his new body at the end of book 4 is an example of this. And potentially also the ritual he used to create the temporary body he was in for most of book 4 until he could make a better one.

So I wonder if Lily did some kind of blood magic ritual using herself, and potentially even James, as sacrifices to give Harry protection. This could explain why the protection seems to be linked to Harry's blood (which we know to be the case since Voldemort takes Harry's blood to neutralize the protection enough to be able to touch or harm Harry without burning). This could also even explain how insistent she is on trying to get Voldemort to kill her instead, or at least first.

Since Voldemort takes Harry's blood we know that he is aware of and believes in the power of the magic relating to Lily's sacrifice. And yet he still professes to have seen no proof of the power of love. So he, at least, seems to think there is some other explanation for the protection Lily put on Harry other than nebulous love magic.

(Though of course if she was willing to use herself as a blood sacrifice this is still an act of love, even if it isn't literal "love magic" fueled by love; perhaps Dumbledore even understood this and decided to be "creative" with his explanations to Harry, as per usual, because that sounded better than saying Lily protected him with dark magic using herself as a blood sacrifice in a heretofore unknown ritual).

Tom Riddle obviously had a lot of years as a wraith to think about what happened and to try to figure out a solution. And he definitely did figure out something. Because he realized the power would be in Harry's blood and by taking that blood into himself he could imbibe some of it and reduce its effectiveness against him. He understood what happened enough that he was able to come up with and implement a solution that did work for the most part.

And that solution centered around blood.

[puckinghischier]

A (kinda) open love letter to hockey

i don’t really know why, but i just have this urge to articulate some of the thoughts swirling in my brain this week. about how much i love the game, the atmosphere, the presence, the players, and everything else surrounding this sport.

i didn’t grow up around hockey, football being the most loved sport in my corner of the world. and honestly, i saw hockey as a ‘filler’ sport most of the time, no one ever really talking about it or watching it. it was just there. always browsing channels and seeing a game on, but never once giving it a second glance.

and i’ll be so totally transparent, the hockey romance books on tik tok are what got me, not a genuine love for the sport itself. i only started watching because i wanted to understand the lingo used and scenarios explained in the books.

i kept seeing all of these tik toks about various players, halfway paying attention and only really commenting on how attractive they were. but then, i really started watching them. i started seeing the personalities peek through each media post, how each one plays the game in their own way, the friendship among the players on and off the ice.

of course, i went through a couple different teams and ‘typical’ duos before settling on my team (the devils, duh). i actually remember scrolling through tumblr, seeing this random man keep popping up on my timeline, not understand why people kept talking about him or where he came from. and lo and behold, imagine my surprise when i saw nico’s face on the devils roster, my mystery man finally identified.

and all the time i’m asked by those around me (mostly the men) “what in the world got you so into hockey? and a team from new jersey at that?”

of course, no matter my response they all just assume it’s because of their looks, but how do you explain the abundance of feminine love and comfort that sits within you for a sports team of grown men, to a man? so i just laugh and go on, telling them i just liked the ‘good vibes’ of their social media videos.

but they won’t ever get it.

they don’t see the way i look forward to coming home from work every day during the season to watch a game. whether the day was good, or bad, or just okay. i know that there’s always that one good thing to be excited about. win or lose.

they don’t see the joy i experience when they win. i always celebrate in some way, even when i’m alone in my bedroom. a little victory dance, an air high five to my tv (if you read this no you didn’t 💔), a text to one of the various friends this sport has brought me.

but of course, they don’t see the friends i’ve gained from hockey. i know there’s some taboo-ness surrounding the idea of friends on the internet, but what else are you supposed to do when you were a teenage girl in the 2010s, where social media was everyone’s main source of communication (and still is). the world is so much more joyous when you can bond with strangers over common interests, no matter where you’re placed in the world. and duh, we all have common sense and know when someone isn’t who they say they are. we are professionals at this, after all.

they choose not to see the depth and layers to sports that so many of us are able to see. they don’t understand that sports aren’t a just a collection of wins and losses. they’re not just a database of stats. they’re these players lives. it’s something these people have worked so hard for —sacrificed for— since they were kids. they don’t hold the same compassion that we do for bad days or bad plays.

they don’t see the appeal of liking multiple teams, not understanding the joy in the fact that each team has something different to offer. it’s always black and white to them. you like one team, and hate all the rest. but, where’s the joy? where’s the joy missed out on in being able to discover and study a whole new roster? where’s the joy in only consuming content about one team? cause me personally, i find a lot of joy in witnessing the nuances of a team other than my own. i find joy in learning the history and traditions of different fanbases.

they don’t see the way that this sport has carried me through the first major loss of my adult life. the fact that when everything felt so wrong and dismal, the only thing to put a smile on my face was this silly game with its silly guys. it was something to be excited about on a day full of goodbyes and grieving. it was a distraction from the reality of the world around me.

so yeah, i’m sure when they see that i’m suddenly obsessed with a sport with large, fit men, they’re gonna chalk it up to the fact i just like looking at them. but they don’t see everything i see when i look at the sport of hockey as a whole.

and maybe i’m just being dramatic and too caught up in my own head, but there was something in me that just needed to write this down. organize it. and maybe you don’t care, but maybe you do.

but my love letter to hockey will always be ongoing, incomplete, and open-ended. because there’ll always be a new season to watch, new players to show love. i will always find new things to love about the sport, every game watched peeling back another layer to be observed.

but for today, i’ll go through and scroll on social media, consuming all the content i can while waiting for the game tonight. then i’ll put on my jersey, sit in my room, and watch. i’ll enter that bubble once again and live in a world only consumed by hockey for a few hours. and when the game is over, win or lose, i’ll carry the joy and comfort of the game with me into whatever tomorrow brings, ready to do it all over again.

[shamebats]

It's a weird idea that I've been rotating in my head in a while but I do feel like I'm in a way a case study against the idea that if society wasn't as gendered, there wouldn't be any trans people.

Despite the society I grew up in having been misogynistic & patriarchal, my own family & the school system were actually surprisingly not that gendered. My parents were fairly autistic themselves, my mom was pretty butch in a rural slavic woman way (never really wore skirts or dresses, makeup or cared that much about her appearance, she had work to do) and I was a defiant child, so they'd mostly just let me do my own thing. I forbade my mom from buying clothes for me without my input fairly young, so I could pick my own clothes and dress however I liked. I was about as likely to dress in a more feminine way as any boy because I knew that everyone including my teachers would've made weird comments about it if I came to school in a skirt. I had a little brother and we were treated fairly equally, we were even abused & neglected in the same ways (yay, equality!).

My best friend growing up was a neighbors' boy and we spent most of our time together getting dirty, trying not to get lost in the forest and climbing tall trees. Nobody ever told me I wasn't supposed to do "boyish" things. But at the same time, my neighbor's grandma also taught us both how to embroider and sew on buttons and we were way more into it than his sisters. At school, I was only friends with girls.

For the first like 3 years of school, we all (girls & boys) had gym class together and even got changed together in the classroom, I think it was because we didn't have any dressing rooms at that school, and nobody thought it was weird.

Adults drilled into me that I needed to study so I could go to university because I was smart and that was what was the plan for me. The fact that I was a girl didn't have any influence on that. Sure, I was told I'd want kids eventually, but boys were told the same thing and nobody ever made me feel like motherhood was the main thing I needed to aim for in life.

I didn't really think about my gender much until puberty hit. To this day, most of my dysphoria comes from my body — my breasts, my uterus, menstruation, the fact that I could get pregnant, the shape of my body. Thankfully, not wanting children in your teens & 20s was also very normal & expected in my culture and birth control was free while I was a student.

At work, my bosses were always about 50/50 men and women. Right now I have a male superior but his boss is a woman and we're the only men in our team. We're paid fairly because we're in a union, but even pre-transition I was always paid well. I never felt like I would've been better off at work if I'd been a man.

My partner always liked that I was a tomboy and never put pressure on me to be more feminine. We had some issues with equal division of chores at the beginning but we've been pretty 50/50 for a while now and we've always had separate bank accounts and our own savings.

We've also known for a long time that we don't want children, so I was never looking at a future where I'd be sacrificing myself for others in the way most cis straight women do. In fact, my partner quit his job & moved countries for my sake.

Despite all of this, I still prefer being a man. Not much has changed for me socio-economically. If I'd stayed in my home country, I would've basically just gained transphobia as an issue. But I moved to a more accepting place so even that isn't as bad. My partner turned out to be supportive and is very much happy with me being his boyfriend now, so not even that aspect of my life changed since transitioning. I was very lucky.

I love being a man. Being on testosterone makes me feel like my body is finally mine and I've been riding the high of a much improved mental state since day 1 of starting T. I can only describe it like "what antidepressants wish they could do".

So if society wasn't gendered at all. If gender didn't exist and if misogyny wasn't real. If biology was the only thing that'd differ between people? Yeah, I'd still want T, top surgery & a hysterectomy. I'd still be a transsexual, and I'm pretty sure I'd still want to be a man.

[kerink]

Hello I have no where else to scream this so have my breakdown /hj

Cecils mother covering all the mirrors in the house always struck me as her trying to protect him, or a way of consoling her own fears.

That was until I learned the fact that its a Jewish mourning custom to cover mirrors. Then suddenly, it clicked into place. She's in mourning. Her odd behaviours, lack of acknowledgment to him, the mirror covering... She may believe he's already dead.

Was this before or after cassettes? I don't actually know. But I've been going bonkers over it for the past 10 minutes.

YEAH YEAH YEAH

cecil being dead in some way and his mother being in mourning is such an important part of the podcast for me. the cecil she gave birth to is not the cecil living in her home

we know from e67 that cecil lived in night vale before the town was founded and that he's immortal to some capacity. we know that (because cecil was already an adult and the host of NVCR before the world ended in 1983 and huntokar fractured reality) his weirdness isn't connected to the timelines collapsing (unless we want to get into time travel, which i dont).

we know from e198 that cecil has a habit of climbing into the stumps of redwood trees and that something happens to him in there. something that i assume has to do with death and rebirth given the "go into the light" imagery. we know from e182 that cecil's mother used to go to the stump of a redwood tree and leave flowers. we can assume from the mirror covering that she's in mourning.

we know from e171 that cecil's mother was an oracle and left him a book she wanted him to study, but he's not able to read it any more. we know from e52 that cecil was 5 when the prophecies said he would be the voice on night vale. we know from e109 that god adores him.

for these reasons here's what i believe:

e132 is about the real cecil, the cecil who was born from his mother. i think another cecil, i think The Voice of Night Vale, emerged from that tree in a flash of light. i think cecil's mother, being an oracle, was told what happened and i think the grief drove her mad. i think she always neglected and ignored and tried to abandon the cecil she had because she knew that was not her son. the real cecil had been sacrificed to feed the community and provide wood to build the town and to learn and to grow and to be them, while god sent this new cecil to guide and comfort them on her behalf. she keeps the mirrors covered because she's in constant grief, never able to heal because the corpse of her son is wandering around her home. i think cecil sees something he's not supposed to in that mirror and her grief protects him.

in e171 cecil says the thing in the mirror Is it some kind of snake but with human skin?

almost like night vale's new snake god from e213 and 214

[my-rewrite-academia]

hello! do you have any fun trivia about the UA staff members?

Hello!

-

I most certainly do! In no particular order:

All Might loves period dramas. Whenever he's alone with nothing to do, he'll pull up some period drama and keep x-many tissues on hand.

Mic is lactose intolerant. However, just like every lactose intolerant person ever, he will consume an ungodly amount of cheese and milk.

Nedzu keeps a spray bottle of water on him at all times. Just in case he sees a cat and doesn't know which instinct will take over.

Midnight, despite her persona, has only actually slept with two people. Nobody knows this, not even the two people she's slept with.

Aizawa once fell asleep on a train and woke up two hours away from where he was supposed to go. He will never sleep on the train again.

Snipe will sometimes yell 'yippee ki-yay' before he shoots someone. There are now compilations of him doing this on HeroTube.

Vlad King, if he's splashed with water, will act as though it's holy water and cry out in pain. Just for the laughs. And to convince people that he's a vampire.

Hound Dog has once tried dog food, as he believed it would taste good due to his quirk. It did not, and he will never try dog food again.

Thirteen likes black liquorice. Nobody knows why they like it, and they will go to the grave swearing it's the best sweet ever. (It is not.)

Etcoplasm has had a good number of noise complaints, due to him bursting into song whenever he's at home. He does not use a microphone or a karaoke system - he's simply loud.

Recovery Girl tried to study Latin, where a lot of terminology for medical studies come from, but quickly found herself bored and accidentally learned Greek instead.

Power Loader is scared of dogs. There's no reason why, he just is, which may be why he's more scared than most when he has to speak to Nedzu. Even a dog barking is enough to make him panic.

Cementoss' favourite genre of literature is horror. Most people assume it's either romance or philosophy, but nope. He much prefers the horror genre, though few know about this.

Lunch Rush's quirk is actually not related to food. His quirk increases both his stamina and his speed, which he uses to cook a variety of dishes at once, without sacrificing the taste. He also hates bugs.

-

Thanks for the ask!

[cros-s]

3h & 01:09

• ol' fake couple trope • suggestive • you x captain

"Three hours?!" you exclaimed. "Ughhh..." disappointed, you turned to him and handed him your phone to show the text.

The informant texted you that the auction has been postponed for another three hours, just when you two were about to walk out of your suite.

A week-long of waiting for this moment, just to be delayed for another three hours.

Great.

Six days ago, you two were (suspiciously) assigned by the Wizard King to retrieve a cursed artefact – a pair of wedding rings – that has been stolen from a certain domain.

According to the brief he gave, the domain was a grave of a couple who used to lead an ancient town that used to be a part of the Grand Magic Zone. To stabilize the area, they had sacrificed themselves and these rings were the final seal to completely lock everything, but now that they were stolen, the domain is now leaking currents of mana that's causing its surroundings to be unstable.

To successfully and peacefully retrieve the said artifact, the two of you has to join the auction, pretending as a couple from the noble capital and for some reason, the Wizard King had managed to convince you two to be the perfect pair for this mission.

At first you tried to reason out, as it would not be healthy for your already pining self, as you have no prior experience working with another captain, but he has his way of convincing you, and now you are here.

You sighed and kicked your floor length dress that's been hugging your body for the past hour, your thigh sticking out of the slit as you walked towards the mini bar inside your suite to pour yourself a shot of alcohol.

His eyebrows arched lightly as he reads the entire text and absentmindedly followed you behind. "I just hope that the small trouble being mentioned here isn't going to interfere with the mission at hand." He said softly before grabbing your wrist just when you're about to down your drink, which he quickly stole from you, and replacing the glass with your phone. "No drinking before the mission" he said, his eyes showed a hint of amusement that betrays his stern tone.

"Just one shot, Captain serious. What are we even supposed to do for another three hours?" You retorted.

Setting the glass aside, he stood in front of the mirrored column beside the minibar, adjusting his necktie for the nth time already. "Make sure things are perfect." He answered.

You narrowed your eyes at him, looking him up and down in his tailored suit, noticing how it accentuated his features and the color of his eyes and... stop.

You shook your head lightly and cleared your throat softly "like... like how you've been checking your tie for a hundredth time already?"

"Well... I admit, I'm not particularly confident with how I did it." He answered and faced you "So what do you think?"

You gave him an amused look before eyeing his tie as if studying it closely, then you stepped forward and reached for it "You're right, it's a little crooked". You chuckled and began loosening the knot, pretending to fix the thing, which he notices right away "You're messing with me"

"Mmm, maybe. We have time anyway" you laughed lightly and proceeded to fix the tie around his neck differently. He sighed and shook his head lightly. "You're insufferable" he said, as he pinch the bridge of his pink-tinged nose.

That made you let out a soft laugh as you finished the Eldredge knot. "How about mine? Does my preparation pass your standard of perfection?" You asked while turning around slowly, giving him time to check.

He looked away with a sigh while lightly scratching the tip of his reddening earlobe. He has already checked you out earlier, maybe more than he should, but that was for quality assurance purposes, or so he told himself.

He knows though, for the past six days you've been doing it –teasing him–and two can play the game. "Almost." He answered, his tone drips with mock skepticism.

Your eyebrows furrowed in amusement "almost?" You asked, head tilting slightly to the side.

"Too red" he smirked, but with a flutter of instant regret inside his chest, he breathed in and continued "Too bold, you'll most likely attract attention than avoid it" wanting to defend his first statement, but somehow, he felt it didn't really save him.

You let out an amused huff "Are you talking about my lips?" You asked, with an eyebrow raised at him.

"What else?" He answered. It's not like he could back out from that anymore.

"Well... yours are too pale..." you trailed, a glint of mischief playing in your eyes "wanna fix that?"

Damn.

For six days, it's been getting worse. This play pretend had started awkward for the first... was it two days? No one remembers, because after that, everything else had been convincing – too convincing.

Somewhere between the shared meals, stolen glances, and playful teasing, the lines had blurred. He knew it. You knew it. Yet, neither of you had dared to address it.

And then this.

Too much.

You stepped forward, smirking. Leaning closer, slowly, just to tease him, you thought. You could see the way his pupils dilate as he kept his stance. And you find that amusing.

He kept his ground and his sharp gaze on you. His jaw tensing as he struggled to keep his restraint, but as nanoseconds tick away, so was his resolve, still you didn't stop.

You leaned closer, your breath passing through his nostrils, and unbeknownst to you, that intoxicated him.

You stopped, expecting him to back away but before you knew it, he had already closed the gap. His lips pressing against yours firmly, while his hands wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer as though he had been holding back for too long.

It was supposed to be a quick one, but you responded, and... restraint crumbled. You slid your hand on his chest and fiercely clutched onto his collar as you pulled him closer. His hand digging on your sides as if making sure you've nowhere to go, but to where he's taking you.

Your back hit the edge of the minibar, and you softly bit on his lips, making him grunt softly. He pulled away, just a little, to continue his ministrations onto your neck, latching hungrily as if he had already lost it.

You gasped as the waves of euphoria started to cloud your mind, fingers tangling his hair, your scent filling his nostrils.

His hands roamed lower, causing an eruption of goosebumps and then a thought revisited. Was it you who asked this? 'What are we even supposed to do for another three hours?' and it made you chuckle in the midst of the sensation.

"Ticklish?" He asked, his voice raspy and thick with desire.

"Mmm-hmm" you hummed, nodding slightly with your eyes closed, not wanting to explain things further.

"I guess three hours won't be that long"

---

😀

draft

[teenandbeyond]

Gojo x Sub. Fem Demon Reader

This resulted from a misread request lol

Want the subby Gojo version? Here.

Want more from meh? Masterlist!

☆*: .｡. .｡.:*☆☆*: .｡. .｡.:*☆

🕶 Disobedience 🕶 (Jujutsu Kaisen)

Warning(s): College AU, flirty reader, smut, a lil gore, public sex, dirty talk

It's your second semester at a new college and you've already got a guy trying to impress you, not doing too good so far when he's wearing shades indoors...

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He could feel you before you entered the room.

As you entered, he lowered his shades, like he couldn't see you clearly past them.

You were beautiful.

You immediately met his eyes, you could feel his power, too.

And when your lips lifted into a smirk, he decided.

He wanted you.

The next day, he made sure to make a point of falling into the chair next to you.

"Mm, are you here to dispose of me, curse user?"

"Not necessarily," he drew out his syllables, leaning on a palm, "I just wanted to get a better view."

"You're not going to get that from the very back of the class."

He met your gaze over his shades after turning his head your way, "I didn't mean the lesson. I'd much prefer to study you, instead. Better view than that geezer any day."

"Sacrificing your grades for me? I'm flattered," you offered a shark-like grin full of sarcasm.

"No need to worry about me. I have the best grades in this school," he smiled.

You rolled your eyes, kicking up your feet, "Of course you do."

"Miss [Name]! Put your feet down, right-"

Your professor cut himself off with a glare from you, your head tilted back, challenging him to say the rest.

All he did was clear his throat, "I'll let you off this time since this is your first day, but don't expect such leniency next time."

"Well, aren't you the rebellious one? Someone should tame that disobedience of yours," he purred out.

"I don't get tamed. It's not in my nature."

And every day after that, he finds something to brag to you about.

Trying to impress you, you supposed.

But he wasn't your type.

He was pretty, sure, but you weren't into men who weren't worth what they bragged about.

He just seemed like another egotistical pretty boy who was used to having his way in life.

And why hasn't he reported you yet? You were a demon, his type doesn't let you cruise around innocent people so easily. It's why you had to transfer quite a few times.

His answer?

"I mean, other than a few little pranks, you don't mean much harm. Just another student trying to get their degree. As long as it stays that way, you'll be fine."

He seemed to care more about getting in your pants than much else.

He even brought you your favorite drink from some cafe a few minutes away.

"How the hell do you know I like this?" you ask after an experimental sip.

"I watch."

"Creepy. And I'm a demon."

All he does is smile.

You have a strange dynamic of banter, Gojo not really getting past your wall.

"We can't go on one date, beautiful?"

"My dates include an exclusion of clothes."

"I certainly wouldn't mind that," he smiles, flashing his pearly whites.

"You haven't earned the privilege, human."

"I will..."

Things change one day when a sleazy student decides to grope you on your way out of your last class. Even after you tell him to stop.

You both end up in a hidden corner with you tugging hard on his ear, threatening him.

"Listen here, human. You have two options...You can either use this pencil and stab yourself in your poorly endowed genitals. Or I can tear off your ear for your poor listening abilities."

"You crazy bitch, you think you scare me? I've had crazier girlfriends."

"Oh, have you, now? Well, I don't like being second best to anybody. May I show you why I'm the one to fear?"

You mute him with your power, he's unable to be heard by powerless humans. And you slowly tug further and further away from his head.

He tries to struggle away, but your power holds him in place.

"You don't deserve these ears anyway, much too pretty for that attitude of yours," you grin as he begins to scream.

"Stop! Stop! It's going to tear off!" he shrieked.

"That's the point."

You silently glance at the ear in your hand, then back at the screaming young man.

And you laugh. Tossing your head back, hard.

"Fascinating! Humans are very expressive."

"What's going on here?"

You blandly glance over to see Gojo moving closer, "You're not blind. I think it's blatantly obvious."

"Gojo! Gojo, help me, man! This bitch is crazy!"

"Silly human, he can't-"

"Help you? Lovely [Name] here doesn't seem like the type to do something without reason."

He could hear him? Right...his power.

"So what did you do, Kimura?"

"Nothing! All I did was flirt a little and she went nuts!"

You stab a pencil into your desired area, getting another satisfying scream out of him, "You touched me without my permission. And even after my merciful warning, you kept doing it...You were confident, too. I can only imagine how many human women it took to gain it. What do you have to say about that?"

All he could do was groan in pain.

"Well, at least now you can live alone like you deserve. Only desperate little humans would get with a sleazy man lacking an ear and a hard-on. Now, get out of my sight," your power releases him as you dismiss him with a hand.

You don't turn to look at him as he rushes to hobble away.

But before he can turn around the corner, his body freezes in place and shatters like glass.

"Foolish human. I don't let scum like you live."

"Well, well. Interesting to finally see your power in action."

You jump at the voice next to you, when did Gojo get that close?

"You didn't try to help him."

"He was weak anyway. But I told you not to harm anyone, or we'd have a problem."

"I have selective hearing," you smirked, leaning against a brick wall.

"Selective hearing, huh? Of course, you do," he hummed.

Before you could blink, he was pressed into you, arm against your throat.

"I should kill you."

"Will you?"

"Hmm," his gaze bore through you, "It'd be a shame...I like you."

"I am quite the charmer," you don't break his stare even as his thumb brushes against your cheek, red staining it when it leaves you.

"Red suits you," he muttered, looking down at the blood.

"It suits anyone."

"But I like it on you, I'm not talking about everyone else," he drags his thumb over your lips. Teasing it between them.

You tease back by accepting it inside when he meets your gaze again.

He sucks in a breath, "Damn, you're beautiful."

"I know," you kiss the pad of his finger.

"And a tease."

"So are you."

"And you need to be put in check. I can't have you killing whenever you feel like it," he glares.

"Even the strongest of your human warriors failed to do so. You're no different. All bark, no bite."

His grin is wide and dark, "I'm always happy to bite if you want me to, princess."

He was willing to prove it.

Your back was slammed against the wall, your legs tightening around his waist.

All hints of his normal nonchalance were gone and so were his shades, he couldn't let them get in the way.

As he sucked on your breast, leaving hickeys behind, he made sure to stare into your soul.

He wanted to make a point.

Especially after a statement you made.

"I don't have very high expectations for you. I've lain with many mortals and demons alike. And I've forgotten all of them, no one can sate my hunger enough to be remembered."

He lifted you higher, he gripped your thighs as he kissed down your stomach.

You thought he was a little weakling, but he lifted you with ease...

...looks can be deceiving.

You bit your lip as his breath hit your inner thigh, "Hm...do you deserve my mouth there? You've been very disobedient. Disobedience shouldn't be rewarded..."

Your breath hitched as he nipped the plush of your thigh.

"Sensitive. Have you been neglected here? No wonder your hunger hasn't been sated. They're basic."

You groan in frustration as he goes everywhere but where you want.

"You asshole."

"I'm well aware, you've called me that a few times already."

"You think you're so great just--Oh my--!"

"Ironic coming from a demon," he giggles lowly, before getting back to work.

You grip his hair tight, and you briefly think about it being painful, but he doesn't say anything to indicate it is.

All he does is groan, syllables drawn out, "Mmm...a delicacy."

You try to keep quiet, eyes squeezed shut, your pride not allowing you to give him what he wants.

But then his hit tongue hits the right spot just as he adds a couple fingers.

Your legs squeeze him closer as you moan, louder than you'd like.

You can feel him chuckle and you know his ego is boosted a little.

"D-don't get too big-headed, there's plenty of people that've made me-" he cuts you off again after sucking hard.

Your back arches against brick and you look down at him to find him already looking up at you.

He looks like...he's starved.

You look away, you've never done such a thing.

And just when you're about to reach your peak of pleasure, he pulls away.

It both relieves and infuriates you.

You didn't want to admit that this human could make you do something few have done.

But on the other hand, this asshole. How dare he deprive you?

A hand leaves your thigh as he reaches for his pants with it.

"Impatient are we?" you mock, in between breaths.

"If it tastes that good, I wanna know how it feels..." he muttered.

You watch openly as he reveals himself for you to see.

"Ego now makes sense."

"Hm."

And soon he's rubbing between your folds, watching intently.

"Are you just going to sit and watch all day?"

"You don't deserve it, so don't expect me to go easy on you."

"I can handle you just fine. Just put it in already-"

And he does, in a single motion he's as deep as he can get.

With a whimper, your nails dig into his back through his shirt.

He groans into your collarbone before sliding out just to slam back in.

"W-wait, Goj-ah!" you gasp out a strangled moan.

He slams into you again, and again, slowly.

He grins into your neck, "I've been waiting for someone like you. I can go all out and not hold back for once. Should I stop holding back on you? I did say I wouldn't..."

And you stiffened at the words, "That was holding back?"

"Wanna tap out now before it's too late, pretty girl?"

"Fuck you."

"Already doing that, but fine."

And once he sets his merciless pace, sounds won't stop slipping past your lips. None of which you're proud of.

"Shut up, you pathetic demon, whimpering like a dog on my mortal cock that you don't deserve," he growled into your ear, gripping your neck tight.

Your eyes roll back, drool escaping past your gaping mouth.

And quickly you have a shaking climax, before it can end, he's still going. It's not long before you can feel your body on the edge of approaching another.

"Look at you. Chanting my name like you worship me. Drunk on how good of a fuck it is. Weren't you talking shit not too long ago? Now you're acting like my desperate little whore."

Usually, when people talked to you like that, you'd disintegrate them...but at that moment, you forgot how to speak, only able to say the same words.

"Satoru, Satoru, Satoru...ohhh. Please, oh, please!"

He gripped your chin, roughly tugging it down, he met your eyes, "You're never gonna be able to stop thinking about me. You're gonna try, but then you'll give up, and have your hand between your legs until you accept that your destiny is to be my little toy...and come crawling back to me."

"I-I-I'm..."

"Do it."

You collapse on top of him when you do, clenching around him so much he moans with you.

He eases you back from your high, kissing your neck.

"Since you were a good little toy, you can help me finish. Not that you're worthy of it."

And the second he puts you down you're on your knees taking him.

He groans, looking down at you as he pets your head, "So eager... Did I tame you that quickly?"

Gojo knew he'd win this challenge. All that annoyance he'd pent up from you playing hard to get he put into you.

But unlike he thought, that burning desire for you didn't go away even as you went down on him.

Even when he reached his own high.

Perhaps you'd have to be his toy for a while...

[trashland-llamas]

X2; X-Men United

Spoilers

that supposed to be Nixon, yea? looked it up—unfortunately. Mean, at least it ain’t fucking Reagan. Granted Nixon was just as terrible.

So they're probably using LSD on the mutants with the circle on their neck (whole MKULTRA & other mind control studies) + is the plastic prison supposed to be white torture?

love how the other characters, when mimicked by Mystique, there's a slight tell. seems to be their gait that usually changes. She really be fucking w/ all the biometrics as she should

what's Remy doing in prison? actually, there's a lot of shit I could see him doing to end up in prison. but this time, it was probably for just existing. damn, they got both Maximoffs too

also, Kurt is in this one! yippee

Scott after he finds out Logan's stolen another one of his vehicles; you can't keep getting away with this!!

'one for every sin.' are we talking self-flagellation or do they just appear?

love how Rogue when Erik and Mystique are laughing about her hair, just immediately rips off the gardening gloves. Like square up you fucks. like yea, she might've gotten her ass handed to her if she were to fight them, but it's the spirit that counts. has spunk.

also a lot of the bits with the teenage characters has me cringing, not in a 'no teenager would ever do that’ way, but rather a 'teenagers would do exactly that, that thing that's putting them in this precarious situation' way [mean positively]

the female mutant that Stryker has "working" under him that Logan ends up fighting - Beyblade, let it rip!

fuck, Jean sacrificing herself just makes the earlier scene with Mystique worse

also only two movies into the franchise but the amount of sniffing that Logan does. like don't get me wrong, it's not weird. like it makes sense w/ his abilities, expected even. it's just noticeable, that's all

[vague-humanoid]

Below is a transcript of the keynote speech I delivered for the 14th Conference on East-West Cross-Cultural Relations at the American University in Cairo.

How the fuck am I supposed to teach Mark Twain? 

I repeated this question as I sat on the bus traveling to campus.  It was my first time meeting classes since October 7.  I would be walking onto the same campus, but the world in which it is situated had forever changed.  Trying to separate campus from Palestine was no more viable than trying to separate Christ from the crucifix. 

Mark Twain has something to do with Palestine—he wrote about it, after all, in a way that would please Zionists a few generations later.  With a bit of imagination, everything has something to do with Palestine.  This is so because Palestine, while formally absent as a nation-state, exists as both a historical and sociological presence in the minds of people across the world.  Indeed, we affirm the reality of Palestine with every refusal to grant legitimacy to its occupier. 

Still, Twain wouldn’t cut it.  Nor would the more politically-oriented readings assigned to my other two classes.  I wanted to discuss Palestine as Palestine, without analogy, without mediation.  The beginnings of a genocide were already evident.  There’s a simple, inviolable rule about genocide:  normal life must come to a halt until it is defeated. 

What can a literary critic and college instructor do to help defeat genocide?  The obvious answer is “nothing,” but I’m not willing to concede the point so easily.  What we can do depends on how we conceptualize the scope and purpose of literary criticism.  Scholars like to call emphasis on revolutionary outcomes prescriptive, and I suppose they’re right, but certain events in the world demand a kind of vigor socialized out of us by graduate school and the job market.  I’m saying that sometimes it’s okay to be prescriptive.  Who does it help when we spend all our time slogging around in nuance and ambiguity?  What purpose does it serve other than social climbing and self-gratification?  In Palestine right now, not too far from where we’ve gathered, millions of people are being bombarded, starved, displaced, imprisoned.  I condemn it without qualification or concern for the bourgeois etiquette of higher education. 

And I can condemn it in literary criticism without sacrificing the creative touch that often makes the genre so rewarding.  Ghassan Kanafani has already shown how it can be done.  So have Toni Morrison, Robert Warrior, Raymond Williams, Viet Nguyen, Audra Simpson, James Baldwin, and Christina Sharpe.  In his book On Zionist Literature, recently translated into English, Kanafani offers a rigorous analysis of Israeli culture and society, adeptly interrogating Zionism’s discursive norms, philosophical assumptions, and ethical inconsistencies.  He fulfills all the conventional tenets of literary criticism and still manages to affirm national liberation.  There’s no contradiction.  The liberatory aspects of criticism have been suppressed by publishers, by tenure committees, by culture magazines, by scholars affiliated with the CIA—in short, by various organs of the ruling class.  National liberation isn’t considered an unacceptable methodology because of some natural, ahistorical standard of proper literary study.  The standard is political.  It was always political.  And it’s most political precisely when nonpolitics is the demand.