#I ripped a hole in my sketchbook for this

[packet-of-staples]

Day 126 of drawing Papyrus until he cameos in deltarune! Whoops.. I think he pulled a little too hard..

[fidgetspringer]

Put together a new plein air kit for myself. Been meaning to do so for a while now, but since my resolution for the new year is to spend more time camping and actually taking in the scenery on my hikes, I finally found the motivation to put it all together!

[midnite-drive]

some sketch

[stickbug-made-entirely-of-spite]

I felt like putting some clothes on the buggy dude! ^-^

I included a close-up of the second version, since tumblr loves to just *eat up* all the details TTvTT

It's heavily inspired by my own wardrobe/general sense of fashion lmao, I basically have those jeans, as well as that belt and that orange sweater, and I love to mix my metals :]

And he may not have any nails, but who says you can't wear nail polish just because of that? Bahahaha

[jacks347]

Exactly one person asked for this but that was exactly one person enough so here y'all go, enjoy the rest of the channels and their high school tropes

Nomad

Caleb and Pack Mom - Childhood friends everyone assumes is already dating (They keep correcting people but secretly enjoy it cause they've been crushing on each other for years)

Connor and Lass - Club president and joined cause she liked him ("Come on, keep up! What are you staring at?" "You. I mean-!")

Deacon and Little One - Book smart introvert and street smart extrovert ("I've never failed a test in my life" "And I've knocked out a gang members tooth once. You tell me which one is more practical")

Chester and CM - Class clown and assigned tutor ("How do you put up with him?" "Remembering he's cute and a lot of caffeine")

Mitch and Lamb - Second generation rivals ("My dad said to tell you you won't win a second time" "Funny, my uncle said to expect it")

Beau and Chef - "Secret" admirer and knowing crush (Constantly leaves notes and gifts in her locker, she absolutely knows it's him but doesn't say anything even though she likes him back cause she thinks it's adorable)

Harlow and Captain - Frequently injured and assigned helper ("How'd you break your leg this time?" "Would you believe me if I said I fell off a roof?" "...goddammit")

GB

Yargwynn and Paradise - Lead in the play and stage manager (Paradise is actually a really solid singer but has paralyzing stage fright so they just stay as stage crew)

Mak and Darling - Delinquent and "I can fix him" girl (Frank is Mak's attempted wingman, he tries so hard to get these two together)

Guardian and Zed - Foreign exchange student and guidance helper assigned to them (Even better if Guardian doesn't speak the language well so they just stare when Zed is talking which makes him nervous and he rambles more, Guardian thinks it's cute)

Albus and Faithful - School flirt and class president tutoring him (Don't lie, you're imagining it now)

Hipswitch and Partner - Reluctant student and quiet art kid project partners (Partner talks through notes ripped from the corners of his sketchbook)

Pandora - Principal's kid that everyone is kinda scared of (Is actually really nice with just a hint of overblown ego, blame football star Odin for that)

Redacted

David and Angel - Quiet kid and popular girl fake dating (Angel dug herself in a hole and needs a fresh face to get out of it, David is only mildly reluctant cause he thinks Angel's pretty)

Asher and Babe - Football star and cheerleading captain (Don't ask, this is the one that inspired all the rest and now it's stuck here)

Milo and Sweetheart - Club presidents fighting for budgeting (SH runs the NHS chapter, Milo runs the drama club, both slightly resent each other because they need the funding)

Darlin and Sam - Frequently in detention and never in detention ("And just what has landed the school's goody goody in my neck of the woods?" "...I broke a guy's nose." "Hah, same.")

Vincent and Lovely - Superintendent's kid who ditches class and vigilant hall monitor ("Come on, can't you let it slide just this once~" "Do you want me to call your dad?" "No, no, I'll go back, please don't call him-")

Gavin and Freelancer - Academic rivals (FL actually takes it seriously, Gavin only pretends cause he loves to watch FL work)

I think I got all of them

I hope I got all of them

This is going to be a nightmare to tag-

[wolvndmouth]

oh boy

drunk and sad and wanting to be in the middle of a Wade and Logan double decker sandwich

i haven’t written fan fiction in over 2 years and it’s be really refreshing to be inspired again

even with art, i’ve been doing anatomy and pose practice in my sketchbook with Wade and Logan in mind

i’ve had writers and artists block for the last couple years. but this movie, their stories, have really just ripped me out of a creative hole

anyyyyywayyyyyys thanks to everyone who has liked and reblogged my analysis on Wade and Logan and everyone who has loved the little ideas i’ve had for them. this couple has brought me straight brain rot, but creatively, i havent felt this alive in a long long long time

[thepaintedsable]

I just had the realization that there is probably a book binding community somewhere on this site and that I don’t just have to stew over the issues I have. Even if this is like throwing a tack at a wall, it’s better hoping for it to stick than metaphorically stepping on it.

Hello I am a beginner, does anyone have any good techniques for attaching covers to their pages? Or just some general binding techniques (maybe some that might work well with stiffer types of paper)? Hell, even if you’re not in bookbinding, got any ideas, haha? I’m basically teaching myself this whole process, and know literally nobody involved in it. Information has been a bit harder to come by, mostly because I’m making sketchbooks, and my medium of choice is watercolor. Meaning my papers are a lot thicker than what I’ve seen recommended on “beginner” friendly tutorials. Any tutorials, really. I have also decided I want to… well, for lack of better term, steal covers off of old books. I just like the look some old academic or hardcover books give.

I mean, look how nice! :) Goal is to have a bookshelf of neat little finished, inconspicuous sketchbooks. And, to make note, most of these books were on the path to being tossed for one reason or another. In this picture there’s even one I tried to make my own cover (red + blue cloth) but those don’t really turn out good either because I’m a little limited on materials for that part. I’d love to make a leather cover, but I’d have to be confident in the rest of my process before I even try buying the stuff.

Main issues are that the thicker type papers “folder” (they end up thicker at the backed end, forcing the end that opens to be thinner in comparison for some reason?), and that I’m generally unsure how to actually set up/prepare the back end of the papers to suitably fit into the covers. They end up very loose (not to each other, the papers stay pretty close, but they can wiggle) or just… not fitting the cover (too much paper, too little paper), and I’m unsure how to fix it.

Even though I’ve gotten better over time, my bigger “solutions” have resulted in it being unusable, either due to the pages being too rigid/full and not being able to open properly or something ripping.

Now, I will say my materials aren’t “up to par.” I don’t have a book press, I use clamps and old wood; I’ve become very familiar with hot glue and superglue; my string is old embroidery thread and I punch holes with an oversized sewing needle; and, clearly, I’m being stubborn and using overly thick paper. But in my mind there has to be a way, I just haven’t figured out the best way yet.

Help? 👁👁

O yeah, and books open :) My literal only current goal is usability + pretty cover. I use a lot of paper types, as you can see (loosest is marker pad, most rigid is watercolor)

[daycore-frisk]

Black Hat sketchbook page I finished yesterday :>

He is super nice to draw I'm 100% doing more <3

mmm yes tumblr eating up the quality (click for better TvT)

also totally didn't accidently rip a tiny hole in my 2nd sketch cause the face was being a lil silly and I rubbed it out too much teehee

[kovajean]

I am currently in the process of becoming reacquainted with the charcoal medium and am hoping to be able to create some TKK pieces on newsprint without ripping holes in the paper (because I am very harsh with my tools and my most recent piece has at least 5 tears that cannot be mended). As I tend to my skills with bated breath, I share an old piece from my sketchbook that I have never quite been able to surpass. Did I mention that Whiplash is my favorite standalone movie and that I have it on DVD and watch it in black and white when I am feeling hopelessly depressed? I’m like Andrew Neiman if instead of drumming he was an artist who hates all of his work

[escapedcephalopod]

me when I destroy a perfectly good thing because I’m an idiot who has tantrums and is acting out over the stupidest things:

vent post under keep reading

so like it’s almost 2 am right? and I’m chilling and I get the idea to paint something with one of the canvases I got for Christmas. anyway so I open the plastic… and it’s paper. the things I thought were thin canvases were just thick paper. and like, im really upset about this and I think my sketchbook can handle it, so I make the absolutely idiotic decision to throw it actoss the room. it’s a new sketchbook too and it got all dented and the cover ripped a bit and the bottom of the cardboard has holes in it and all im thinking is that I do have anger issues and my friend was right about me and I might hurt someone. and i literally bite my hand hard enough to make a tiny bruise. it’s just… why am i like this? why does something so tiny send me into absolute anger? and all I could think was that im stupid and spoiled for thinking i can destroy something that someone got for me and that now I can’t use that sketchbook because it’s dented and it’s such a waste and im a waste and aaaaaaaaaaaaaa. there was like nothing in it. I just wanna break something but i know I’ll regret it if i do and i just wanna cry

and I can’t even find my hot glue so I can’t fix it

[profrozenraspberry]

Reflecting on my journals from adolescence as a late-diagnosed adhd/undiagnosed autistic adult

I just read through 6 of my journals/sketchbooks ranging from the end of 8th grade to my first year in college. Here are a couple things I found from the lens of late diagnosed adhd/undiagnosed autism:

Many parts were extremely painful and very heavy to read (I knew this would be the case so I’ve avoided reading them for weeks). To read those words a child should never know and to feel the pressure marks of my pen in the paper… I forgot how much I truly suffered every second of every day when I was so little and just trying so hard to exist and be left alone in a traumatic environment. In this specific journal, the one with the most turmoil, there were many pages ripped out which I wish I hadn’t but I believe I did that at some point to keep myself safe because maybe they were too much to bear. That’s okay.

There were also parts that were so witty and random/cryptic where I wanted more context but it also made perfect sense to me without because I wrote it!! I laughed and cried so much. I remembered things I’d completely forgotten and was really shocked at some things.

There were many drawings depicting me being isolated from everyone else. In one I was in fetal position, trapped in a bubble while everyone in the background provokes me and name-calls me from the outside. There’s also another me standing right outside the bubble, empathetic, trying desperately to connect with that suppressed version of me. I did 2 drawings using circles. One with a big circle filling the page with a tiny black dot outside of that circle with an arrow pointing to it saying “this is me.” The second one was similar but the black dot was at the center of the circle, labeled “black hole.” There was also a drawing of a blank-faced person standing behind a crying angel captioned “stop being someone else for the sake of others.”

I also saw my handwriting change very drastically from entry to entry and over time, sometimes writing in a cursive-print combination (how I write now) only print, only cursive and then different styles within those. Sometimes the writing reflecting how tired or distressed I was feeling so it was nearly illegible.

I was so surprised to see some of the same exact words and language I use to explain my reality now in these journals. It was actually a little scary to see how consistent I’ve been in my efforts to explain myself and my suffering to others because I’ve always had the language despite what others would say. It’s just that no one was willing to listen. Throughout my entries I used the words burnout, trapped, overwhelm, exhaustion, I spoke of wanting to be understood and believed, I pondered so much about who I really am/who I’m meant to be, that I am surviving rather than living, and that I’m wasting my life. The parallels are beyond obvious.

The most visceral thing, though, was turning to a page in pink ink. This was the only entry in colored ink in all the journals and it was pink. A color I didn’t care for much back then, but is my favorite color now and the way I see my aura. I also have pink hair. I turn to the page, and I see pink words that say “Sometimes I feel like an imposter mimicking the activities and routines meant for normal people. I do not think I’m supposed to do the things I’m expected to do…. I don’t feel in control and I desperately need to be. I guess I’m just not meant for this earth; I belong to another star…another dimension.” Right there on the page. I am late diagnosed adhd (~8 months ago), and after unmasking it, I discovered my undiagnosed autism. There is no clearer picture to me.

I have raw data. Patterns, context, history! I gave myself the gift of history. The greatest gift I’ve ever received. This is so helpful to me in my journey towards unmasking and understanding who I really am. And should I consider assessment & diagnosis in the future, I now have this resource.

The picture of me is becoming clearer. I am so grateful to have written and kept these for myself. Shoutout to my mom for housing them in my childhood bedroom all these years.

If you’ve considered reading old writings from your younger self, make sure you’re in a safe environment and headspace to take in the information. I wish I had written a little more but I’m grateful for what I have. All I can do now is keep writing and keep record of my words. I plan on scanning everything in digitally and adding it to my personal archive.

Thank you for reading.

[lunamists]

This Design's For You [DKBK]

College DKBK AU

Biker!Izuku x Fashion Major!Katsuki

Around campus there had been talk of a certain student that everyone grew fascinated by.

It was mostly gossip about him as most didn't actually get a chance to see him.

That was until he started to frequent the fashion department and people got more glimpses of the almost 6 foot tall, dressed in leather and ripped clothing with chains dangling from his sides gossip topic.

And he frequented it only for one reason.

That reason was the blond that studied in that department. It wasn't always like this, that blond never even planned on meeting him. The topic crossed passed with him and that same topic wouldn't leave him alone since then.

--

So, what do they got you guys doing now?" Katsuki's friend Shouto asked him as they made their way to the fashion department. Shouto tends to walk with him to his classes since he doesn't have any classes for the rest of the day.

"Repairing. So, nothing new." He shrugged.

"I think that sounds fun. Now you can repair any holes I have in my clothing."

"I was able to do that before..but who the fuck said I'd do that for you."

Shouto went to respond but squeals were heard not far from them catching both of their attention.

He's really here??"

"Yeah! And he's looking for someone!"

"A potential girlfriend perhaps?"

They were both confused and made their way over to the now few moving people. Katsuki had some time to spare, he was early anyway.

"Perhaps you guys could help, you're in this department, right?" A deep voice said at the front of the group. Katsuki couldn't see exactly who it belonged to as they were still a bit farther from the group just close enough to hear. "Yes of course! Whatever you need!"

"I found this, hoping you could help me return it to the owner..it was left in my finance class."

The girls were silent for a moment as they looked at whatever it was they were looking at before they nodded. "We know him! He's kind of popular around these parts!" One giggled.

"That's great! Can you take me to him?" The girls nodded once more turning and looked at Katsuki. "Oh! Speak of the devil, there he is." They pointed and the man the voice belonged to, who was now visible thanked them before walking over.

Katsuki looked up at Shouto confused and slight anger. He didn't want some rando that was clearly a hot topic to be associated with him.

So he turned and started to walk.

"H-Hey wait!" The man yelled after him, clearly starting to speed up.

So Katsuki did the same.

Soon both of them were running their way across the part of the campus.

"I just need to give this to you!"

"You clearly want to talk too! You could have just given it to those girls!"

"So what?! What's the big deal with that?"

"I don't want to talk!"

Katsuki darted behind a wall to catch his breath, hoping that he had lost the man.

But he was wrong.

"Hey!" He jumped at his voice ready to run again but the man grabbed a hold of his arm. "Wait! Here, just..take your sketchbook!"

He handed over the book and Katsuki glared at him before snatching it. "Great. I'll be going." He said, ready to go but the man held onto his arm more. "Wait. I just..Hold on, let me talk." Katsuki sighed and looked up at him, taking in his appearance. He wasn't used to seeing such a different appearance. He had his leather jacket paired with a tight sweater turtle neck croptop with a pair of ripped jeans. He saw fishnets peaking out from behind the holes and his hands with fishnet gloves as well.

His curly green hair half pulled back into a ponytail while the rest stayed free then to add onto all that jewelry littered his entire body from rings to necklaces to multiple ear piercings down to his chains.

He admired how perfectly everything was paired together.

"Those designs are really good. I know I shouldn't have looked my art friends tell me that's rude..but..once I saw the first one I just..couldn't leave it be..those are amazing..I clearly see why you're going into this." The man said, slowly letting go of Katsuki. Katsuki thought about running again but when the man stuck his hand out for him to shake he knew he couldn't do that so easily.

"Izuku Midoriya..I'm sure you heard but I'm in your finance class..I sit in the back though so I'm not really seen."

"You're the one that answers the questions more than anyone aren't you." Katsuki put his sketchbook away in his bag before crossing his arms. "And the one that mutters constantly and sends our class into a whole new discussion board. You're annoying."

Izuku laughed, scratching the back of his neck, his face slightly pink. "Y-Yeah that's me. So you do know who I am."

"No, I just hear you and hear about you. This is the first time I've actually..looked at you.. You're far from what I thought."

"I hear that a lot..oh! I'm sorry, you were on your way to your next class, here, I'll walk you and take any blame if you're late, c'mon!" He started to walk from behind the wall and Katsuki groaned as he started to follow.

-

"I'm happy you let me talk!"

"You made me listen."

Katsuki rolled his eyes as they got to his class. "Still! It was fun talking to you and walking with you!" Izuku smiled at him. "And you're still here on time!"

"Yeah.. Whatever.. Thanks for my sketchbook I guess." He said and walked into his class not waiting for a response.

He didn't want to continue to talking to Izuku, this was going to be a one and done thing. Though, he couldn't help making up a new outfit idea that had that very greenette in mind.

-

It wasn't a one and done thing since then. Whenever they had their finance class Izuku stopped sitting in the back and sat in the empty seat next to Katsuki as if he had been there the entire year. He started talking to Katsuki more before class began and started to walk with him after class ended to his next class.

Katsuki couldn't rid of him no matter how hard he tried. He just kept talking to him. On the bright side, they gave each other stupid nicknames. Izuku had started calling him 'Kacchan' in accordance to a slip up with his name and Katsuki began calling him Deku.

It started as an insult to him in hopes of him leaving him alone.

It didn't work, he continued to bother him.

Soon a few weeks had passed and Katsuki just sighed as he began entertaining him and replying to what he would say.

He found out soon that he was surprisingly not that bad to talk to. They started to text and call as well after this. They didn't see each other outside of that one class which started to upset mostly Izuku but Katsuki couldn't deny that it bothered him as well.

They introduced one another to their friends and after some more weeks that was when Izuku started to bother him in his dorm room that was in actuality more of a studio than anything. He watched him draw sketches for outfits and brought him snacks and drinks as he realized he would get so enamored in his work he would often forget to take breaks.

Izuku slowly broke him out of that habit, calling him until he picked up if he wasn't at his dorm making him take a break and just showing up unannounced sometimes with dinner for him.

Katsuki hated to admit how much he cared for these moments and adored how much he cared for him. It made his heart warm whenever he would just see Izuku. And Izuku was the same way towards Katsuki.

People started to talk about the blossoming friendship around campus which was the one thing Katsuki didn't want to happen. But now that it was happening he couldn't care as much. He cared more about being close to Izuku and having the friendship that not many other people got to have. It made him happy knowing he was someone special for Izuku.

That brought them to now, Izuku walking through the halls of the Fashion Department making his way to Katsuki's class where they were soon to be dismissed. Once they were dismissed Katsuki saw Izuku outside the door and couldn't help the soft smile on his face.

"Deku."

"Kacchan! Wanna sit outside?"

"It's never just hello with you is it?" Katsuki said with no bite in his words, just fondness as he nodded, starting to walk. "Why do you just want to sit outside?" "It's warm out and I just wanna sit somewhere away from people."

"That sounds just like you." So they made their way outside of the building and over to an area they found while walking around the campus one time. It was a shaded area that was more out of the way but it was beautiful.

"How was your class?" Izuku asked as they sat down. "It was good, nothing I don't know already though." Katsuki chuckled, leaning against a tree sighing. "Got a new project I need to start later..I'm just so fuckin' hungry." He groaned.

"You wanna go out?" Katsuki froze at that, looking at him and feeling his heart beat faster.

"W-What?"

"Do you want to go out? We can go to that cafe you said you liked. My treat." He smiled, holding his hand out. Katsuki's eyes darted from his hand back to him in shock.

"Are you a-asking me out right now?"

"What do you say, Kacchan?" Katsuki started to smile as he took his hand letting himself be pulled up and walked to the parking lot.

-

"Is this safe?" Katsuki asked, looking at Izuku's motercycle, hesitant to get on.

"Of course! I know they look scary.. Just hold onto me, alright?" He hummed, helping Katsuki onto the bike before hopping onto it himself. "I'll keep you safe, don't worry." Katsuki's face heat up in a blush before he slowly wrapped his arms around Izuku, leaning onto his back.

"You better."

-

After that first date they started to go on more, mostly after that last class Katsuki had on that day of the week and soon they were spending any free moment they had with one another.

So much for not wanting to be associated with Izuku.

Now Katsuki just found himself laying with him at his dorm as he drew up a new outfit idea while Izuku played with his hair.

"That looks amazing baby." He whispered to him, kissing the top of his head.

"It'll be for you once I'm done."

Izuku gasped quietly as a smile formed on his face. A small laugh left his lips as his face tinted pink, him hugging Katsuki closer. "You're so perfect. What did I do to deserve you? I can't wait for it." Katsuki just happily sighed, turning to give him a gentle kiss.

He's kinda glad Izuku kept annoying him.

Now he got an amazing boyfriend out of it.

[nart-is-a-monster]

How do you draw so much so fast bro literally it takes me like 5 hours to draw a sketch😭😭😭😭😭

I'm insane

My friend even told me that what kind of demon I have summoned to draw that much and I'm like- idk bro 💀

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN LIKE YEAR BELIEVE ME

the only time I had a hiperfixation like this that it was me 24/7 thinking Abt the thing and drawing about it, was with a Danny phantom x gravity falls au my stupid ass created in like 2012?????

AJHFKAKFKSL I remember drawing comics and stuff of gravity falls

In case you're curious to see that

That doesn't exist anymore my dad burned it when I was failing math 😀👍 (Im still unable to do basic divisions or multiplications lmao) thanks dad I guess

But still

I DONT KNOW HOW I DRAW THAT MUCH JSHFJSKJF

I think I unlocked it for some reason

I literally filled a hole fricking sketchbook in 2 months

I'm scared of myself honestly

Also now that I have the opportunity

This is the sketchbook that is filled with all the drawing you probably have seen

It had a different cover before but I ripped off that cover to draw something as silly as the cover is now

The one on the left is the front and the one on the right is the back XD

I love to put stickers everywhere btw

I genuinely don't know if this answers anything but

Yeah that's it 💥

[the-lonely-crow]

Happy late birthday Gerry i can not believe thay gave you a canon birthday and i missed it. This is from my costume design sketchbook im trying to see how many of my Guys i can put in here without my professor asking about it.

[Image ID: pencil sketch of gerard keay. Full body shown. He wears a long leather coat with patches on the left side, ripped jeans, platform boots, and a t shirt. Fishnet tights can be seen through the holes in the jeans. He has two necklaces, one with an eye pendant, and chains on hancing from his belt loop. His eight hand is in his pocket. He has long straight dark hair, a septum piercing, and snakebite piercings. To the left of him is a drawing of the back of his coat with the words "grant us the sight thay we may not know" written around an eye. The roman numeral 111 (cxi) is written above it. /end ID]

[pawseds]

Broke out my new Midori blank notebook (sketchbook?) to celebrate half of the M-EPIC crew getting back together! The new Delta Green game (tagged Helvetia, will be run by @theroyalzealot) I'll be a player in is set in the same universe as my M-EPIC campaign (and also the Melati/Grief Rice campaign I'm running right now).

Finan (my PC, glasses) will get a cameo through M-EPIC's appearance. Then I accidentally roped in North's (long hair) player, and then the handler asked me to ask Ian's (beard) player if he wanted to join, and he said yes. So that's pretty cool!

Because I can, quick Midori notebook first thoughts, because I know these notebooks are a big deal in the travel journal/journal corner of the internet:

Heard they're good with fountain pens, and I was very excited for that! The top drawing was drawn with my fountain pen

The paper's smoothness works well with them, but the ink takes forever to dry/be absorbed by the page (hence the smears), which was a bummer as I'm also quite the messy artist lol

Fountain pen is the Pilot ones with the faces on the nibs btw (it was also skipping and I only had the mind to clean + fix it after the first drawing lol)

I also used a drawing pen (equivalent to the Sakura ones) and tombows (water-based ink). They worked perfectly with the paper. Especially the tombows! My gosh! They're so much smoother and blend better (despite my messy and quick flats lol)

True to the brand's word though, none of the inks bled on the page itself (no flowering) and none of them bled through the page as well

Unfortunately, you can see the shadows of your inks on the back side of the page and through the next page. The second one was pretty shocking since I've never had a sketchbook/notebook like that

But! At least they don't show up in scans. And that's really what matters to me since I picked up the habit of digitally archiving sketches

Can't wait to use this sketchbook more with inks (fountain pen, tombows, maybe dip pen cuz I think the paper can handle it!) without fear of ripping a hole through the thing or bleeding onto the previous page!

[youtubeyouniversitytherapy]

:: USE MY BEST COLORS FOR YOUR PORTRAIT. ::

Tara had really taken to journaling, it felt like a chore at first… but now it’s how she spent most of her days. Per her last therapy session, Dean Tat had suggested she use her journal in combination with her sketchbook. So, that’s what she had been doing for the entire week.

Red, the color of lust, the color of love. The color of Jake. Or, at least it used to be, now it seemed red felt empty, it left a hole in her heart. There was a sketch of him in her journal, various shades of red intertwining the pages. Surrounding his drawing were various words, or phrases. ‘Abandoned’, ‘I still love you’, ‘Friend?’, ‘Anger’. A myriad of feelings, a mixture of anger and love. It seemed fitting Jake had dyed his hair red post break up, it made it all the more true.

Pink, the color of femininity, compassion and charm. The color of Rose. In the middle of the page was a portrait of Rose, various size hearts surrounded her face, her eyes having tiny little hearts within them. Here lately she didn’t quite know where she stood with Rose, and it made things so much more difficult. She wasn’t even sure Rose wanted to be her friend anymore… but nonetheless she’s written: friend. Then she stares at it for the longest moment, the word didn’t feel strong enough, but she leaves it moving on to write in a little heart blurb: confusing, and in another ‘secretive’. There’s another that says 'soft lips’. She sighs, not wanting to dwell too long before moving on.

Purple, the color of mystery, of the unknown, of peace. The color of Jaiden. Her drawing of Jaiden was intertwined with doodles of her tattoos. It all blended together in different shades of purple. 'New’ is written intertwined with her tattoos, a little further down it says 'Crush’. On the other side there’s: 'Scared’ written within the tattoos. Darker pops of color surround this word. She thinks back to the kiss, then she remembers she’s not the only contender. The words from her party echo'ing in her ear, Jaiden’s confusion… Schlatt. 'Jealous’.

Green, the color of money, luck and envy. The color of Schlatt. He looks strong, rugged in his drawing. Exactly as she thinks he’d want to look, invincible. But behind him are the brightest shades of green, maybe that could be interpreted as how she sees him. She’d never admit it. 'Safe’ is written in cursive, a little below that is 'Surprising’. She frowns as she draws him, he looks so peaceful here, so obtainable but the truth was he was anything but that. 'Hopeless’, followed by 'Impossible’.

Blue, the color of freedom, trust, and loyalty. The color of Eugene. There were multiple smaller doodles for him, each one dawning a different emotion. In one he’s the normal happy Eugene, but it looks as if he’s wearing a mask. A little lower it’s as if the mask is crumbling parts of it begin to flake off. He’s still happy, but the façade is breaking. The next one the mask is barely hanging on with a thread, you can see the sadness behind the smile- but the smile is still there. The fourth and final drawing shows him more like he looked the last time she saw him, when they made up. A tired sadness shining in his eyes, something she knew too well. 'Twin Flame’ is written in between these drawings. 'Understood’, and 'Real’ floating between the second and third drawing.

And finally black. In the center of the page was a self portrait, only she wasn’t the smiley version of herself she put on for everyone else. It was just… her. She looked tired, just as she looked right now, like she hadn’t slept in days. A run down, sad version of what she should be. ‘Second Choice’, ‘Fraud’, 'Annoying’, 'Whore’ ‘Loud’. She stared down at the words before letting out a huff. Ripping the page from her book, she tossed it into the trash can before starting over. This time as she started over she drew the version of herself that everyone was used to, the Tara Yummy version. She was bright, vibrant even. 'Bubbly’ 'Energetic’ 'Fun’ 'Hot’, all the things everyone wanted her to be, is exactly what she was right there on the paper. As it should be. As it was. It had been at least a week since she’d taken a bump, but as she stares at the new portrait of herself she put a tiny line on the paper, plugged one side of her nose and leaned in. This is who she had to be.