#I remember the conversation on differences and how we both were big fans of what the other had

[fumiliar]

in your dreams - kento nanami

✎... fluff

everyone knew your crush on nanami in highschool. it was a public secret, from your classmates to upperclassmen, they all knew. when you first entered jujutsu high, you saw the most beautiful upperclassmen, kento nanami. ever since you've noticed the man, you followed him like a lost puppy. taking any chance to strike a conversation with him, you had 2 goals in highschool, graduate and most importantly get with nanami.

when you came back to jujutsu high as a sorcerer, their first words to you were:

"you're the one who liked nanamin right?" the blue eyed man asked

"yeah, i can't believe you still remembered," awkwardly looking around, trying to stare at anything but his face. it was a very embarrassing time of your life.

"everyone remembers, but don't worry, nanamin won't come back anytime soon."

and how wrong he was. 3 months after you came back to jujutsu, kento followed your footsteps, joining as another jujutsu sorcerer.

"i heard nanamin was single, you don't wanna try asking him out y/n? maybe you'd have a different fate," gojo winking at you before he went to take his leave.

you contemplated on asking him out on a date tonight. it wouldn't hurt, right?

as you arrived to the field to supervise the students, you saw a familiar figure, kento nanami. you took your time walking there, admiring the man. kento being the observant man he is, noticed your staring, reciprocating it back to you, making you look away instantly.

as you stood beside him watching the students, kento started some small talk.

"how was your day y/n?" kento asked, lowering his body by just a pinch to hear you better.

"good, what about you?" you replied.

"good as well," kento answered.

"wanna go out on a date with me?" you whispered, avoiding his gaze, making sure no one was paying attention.

"of course y/n, i'm flattered that you asked me out," kento replied with a soft smile.

you tried to cover your joy, but it was too much. a smile slowly manifesting itself on your face.

"[Honorific].Y/n, why are you smiling?" yuuji asked.

"nothing.."

when you had entered the break room, gojo and shoko were already sitting, waiting to interrogate you.

"so are you going out on a date with nanamin tonight?" gojo asked expectantly.

"of course, we're literally married," you answered while taking out your lunchbox from the fridge.

"i know he agreed to go on a date with you, but that doesn't mean you're married to him too y/n," shoko talking to you with a tone she would use in a misbehaving kid.

"in your dreams y/n, i love you, but these delusions need to stop," shoko agreeing with gojo for once.

"what delusions?" kento asked. in the middle of your conversation, kento had also entered the break room, only hearing gojo's part.

"i told them we're married, and they don't believe me," a chuckle escaped kento's lips as you huffed. he slowly approached you, leaning down to give you a kiss on the cheek.

"yeah, we are," kento holding up your hand flexing the matching wedding bands you both had. you and kento thought it would be funny to play a game with the jujutsu high people. at first, you wanted to tell them as soon as you arrived at jujutsu high. but due to gojo's incessant teasing, you decided to see how long you could trick him and everyone else. it wasn't like you guys were hiding it, you both wore your wedding bands everyday, it's just kento isn't a big fan of PDA in the workplace.

"what...are you serious..."

[96wonulicious]

more than enough - c.hs

genre: fluff, tiny bit of angst

ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ

It was another casual day at practice, training for their 10th anniversary comeback in May. Of course these practices don't come without a little teasing here and there, that's just the usual stuff you got to deal with within the group. Today was no different, except todays main target was Vernon.

"Do you guys even like, kiss?" Jeonghan asked his younger friend. "Even share the same bed? With the way you sleep it wouldn't be weird for her to sleep somewhere else to be honest.." someone added. Usually this wasn't something Vernon cared about. He knew you loved him and knew he loved you even more.

Lately though, certain weverse messages about you have gotten to him. Fans talking about the lack of affection in your relationship, speculating your break up and all. Aside from this being incredibly disrespectful and annoying, it also affected Vernon a lot. Was he really THAT "cold" towards you? Do you know that he loves you more than himself? Do you think the same way fans and the boys do? All this teasing today made him even more insecure about this than he already was.

"Can I ask you something real quick?" Vernon asked his best friend Seungkwan after finishing their dance practice. "Sure, what is it? Is everything alright?" Seungkwan asked a bit concerned.

"Yeah, it's just...YN. I'm scared that she'll leave me.." he said, staring into his reflection in the big mirror. "Leave you? Now why the hell would she do that?" Seungkwan said shocked. He wasn't just Vernons best friend but also yours, and he clearly remembers every single occasion where you would only talk about Vernon and your love for him. Hearing this out of his best friends mouth now made absolutely no sense to him.

"Ever since people found out about us, they've been saying that she'll leave me once she sees how exhausting it is to be with someone 'emotionally inexpressive'. I just can't bear to lose her. She's the love of my life, my world..my everything" Vernon said, his voice shaking. He felt like the walls were closing in on him. "I had this really bad nightmare a few nights ago. I was with YN, and she suddenly said she needed to talk to me..And what she said was, was.." he stopped, his voice cracking and tears welling up in his eyes. "I can't even say it oh god" he said. This is the first time in years something has hit him so bad it made him cry out of fear.

Seungkwan knew what Vernon was talking about. He tried his best to comfort him, to calm him down and talk some encouraging words into him. "You know, why don't you just talk to her? We both know that you can tell her ANYTHING, especially you, her boyfriend. I can guarantee that she loves you more than everything in this universe, so please do me, her and yourself a favour and just talk to her."

Vernon knew what he had to do. The only way to fix this is to talk to you, no matter how uncomfortable it was going to be for him. He knows you will always listen to what he has to say, so why wouldn't you this time? "Should I drive you home?" Seungkwan asked. "I'm good thank you, I'll walk. I'll have more time to think about how I'll tell her.." Vernon answered, already heading out the door.

He was imagining every way the conversation could go, his legs just automatically taking him home to you. When his keys slid into the keyhole and the doorknob started to turn in his hand, his heart started pounding in his chest. He was scared of this conversation, scared that you'll think of him as "weak" or "insecure".

"Babe? I'm home" he shouted, hoping for an answer from you. "In the kitchen!!" you happily answered. You were happy your boyfriend finally came home. He took his shoes off, placed his backpack next to them and made his way into the kitchen. His palms were sweaty and his breathing got heavier. You greeted him with your usual big hug and a kiss, smiling at him. "How was practi-..Why are your eyes so red? Are you okay?" you asked full of concern.

With that, he just broke down in your arms. You didn't quite know how to react, figuring the best thing to do right now was to just hold him and let him cry. It broke your heart, seeing your boyfriend like this. "Come on, let's go sit on the couch" you suggested and led him to the living room. You sat down and put an arm around him, pulling him close again. His head was resting on your chest, soft sniffles here and there and holding onto you like you'd disappear once he let go.

"What's wrong love? Please talk to me.." you said while gently running your fingers through his hair. "Do I make you feel unloved?" he asked, his red eyes staring right into yours. "What? Where is this coming from??!!" you asked in shock. "Well, fans have been saying some mean things on weverse about you breaking up with me, and you being tired of my lack of affection in our relationship. The boys also said some things today that made me.." he said, tears rolling down his cheeks again. "..made me think maybe you'd be happier with someone else. Someone who won't shy away from kissing you in public, someone who will do literally anything for people to know you're his."

You couldn't believe your ears. Your hand instinctively pulled his head back to your chest, your head resting on top of his. You took a deep breath, before speaking up.

"You are way more than enough Vernon. You make me the happiest girl alive, everything is better when I'm with you and I could never ever in any world feel unloved by you. First of all they know NOTHING about what we do in private, so how would they know you're not actually hogging me every morning because you want to stay in bed with me? Secondly, they're just jealous. It's so obvious, the fans because I'm dating literally the most handsome, gorgeous, fantastic, amazing, BEST artist ever!!"

"Oh and the boys are just jealous 'cuz they get ZERO bitches" you said and rolled your eyes. This made Vernon laugh a little and you were happy you could cheer your boyfriend up a bit.

"Thank you for accepting me the way I am. I'm so so unbelievably happy to be with you my dear, I couldn't imagine a better life.." he said before kissing you. You spent the rest of the night lounging on the couch, just holding eachother while thinking about how lucky you guys got to have eachother.

[olderthannetfic]

hi, as someone who is tragically gen Z and only ever read AO3, can I ask: what was so great about LiveJournal? Like, I know that there were fics posted there (and I've even read about the "purge", so I get why it isn't used anymore) and that it was sort of a forum-type thing. But what I don't understand, wouldn't Tumblr fill in the latter function? How was that site any different? I see a lot of people reminiscing about it and I'm confused

--

A big factor in LJ's greatness is timing and nostalgia.

It was genuinely great, but it wasn't quite as great as all of the Lo, shall the Golden Age ne'er come again? posts suggest.

LJ arrived at a pivotal time in the development of the internet both in terms of technical stuff and how many people had access. Many fans who are now in their thirties to fifties first discovered fandom through LJ and many were at a time in their lives when they were feeling energetic and up to making lots of new friends—and to figuring out how to make a site work for them.

I got on LJ in 2002 when it required invites. Fandom arrived in droves in 2003, first via coordinated campaigns to get invites to key people and then when LJ opened up free account creation to everyone. Back then, LJ's features sucked. It was impossible to search properly, among other things. At its height (2005-7, let's say), there was a reasonable site search, and fans had developed all sorts of community resources for finding each other.

People often remember this phase but not the early days of suckitude.

This development parallels how Tumblr used to not have that private chat feature and how a lot of fuckyeah[whatever] type tumblrs have helped curate the site and make it much more usable for fans. Fandom draining away from LJ after strikethrough also parallels people draining away from Tumblr after the purge.

There are people who talk about Tumblr the way my cohort talks about LJ...

And to the shock of no one, they are people who came of age on Tumblr, who found fandom via Tumblr, who were on Tumblr during pivotal times in their lives and ones when they had energy to make friends and figure out how a site worked.

Those same Tumblrites are now making all the same geriatric-sounding posts we LJers do about how other sites lack the required features to be good for fandom while missing that 90% of tumblr's "features" at its height (2012-2016, let's say) were actually fan-created and were basically the same as any fandom newsletter or links page or all the versions of this kind of personal curation stretching back to long before the internet existed.

What life phase you hit a site at matters.

--

With all of that said, no, LJ was not a forum. It was a blogging site with threaded comments.

The key point to understand is that conversation was always happening in a specific person's space. Unlike on a true forum, people were in the comments on a particular post in a journal owned by another fan. (On a forum, there's the first post in a thread, but it's still more of a communal space with less of a hierarchy.)

Overall, the LJ format can have a feeling a bit like you're over at someone's house for tea. There's more of a sense of intimacy and also behaving yourself in front of community members.

Tumblr being obscure and impossible to find anything in does give it some of the same vibe relative to Twitter, but it's still part of modern social media that tries to shove every rando into the face of every other rando.

But it wasn't just vibes: LJ also had robust privacy features where you could lock a post to this or that group of friends. You could moderate your comments section properly. Tumblr has far fewer controls to force people to behave or leave on a technical level.

--

The biggest thing many people miss about LJ is the threaded comments. At least by late LJ and on Dreamwidth, you can expand and collapse threads, making it far easier to deal with a massive comments section. But more than that, things are properly threaded with multiple levels of hierarchy that are all easily visible in the same place.

On Tumblr, it used to be extremely difficult to find all of the actual commentary on a post. Nowadays, it's far easier, but you still have to scroll chronologically, and multiple versions of a post with a long chain of commentary may be much more divorced from each other than what would happen in a LJ comments section.

--

But could we use Tumblr pretty much how we used LJ?

We could.

I do.

--

The key things that people tend to miss about LJ, aside from the younger and more excited version of themselves or the friends they've lost since then, are:

Heavily text-based

It may sound odd on the modern internet, but there are a lot of people whose brains don't like or handle an image-heavy site well. They were everywhere in SF book fandom. They were everywhere on the early internet. Today, they're hanging out on Dreamwidth and still going to their SF cons. They're usually not on Tumblr.

You could follow the discussion

Threaded comments help, but a lot of it is about having some place you can check for updates. It wasn't actually that easy to follow big LJ discussions unless you were subscribed to comments and reading along as things were happening instead of coming along after the entire mass of comments had been left.

The tone of the discussion is intellectual and one's enemies are "idiots", not "problematic"

All this requires is a penchant for longwindedness and an itchy blocking finger to remove anyone slinging ad hominems from the comments section.

On tumblr, it's as simple as conversations happening in the replies on a popular account and that person not tolerating suibaiting and threats.

(And make no mistake, a lot of LJ discussion was in the comments on popular accounts, not spread equally between everyone's.)

It does require that multiple people like that tone and want to engage in that way, but lots of people do want to.

--

These days, I interact with tumblr by checking my askbox and reading my activity page. The vast, vast majority of my posts are ones where I'm the OP, so if I block someone, they're booted from the discussion entirely.

For me... yeah, Tumblr functions almost exactly like LJ.

Also like LJ, while I'm hosting the conversation, if you hang around, you'll see the same people again and again in the comments. They may or may not also host that kind of conversation in their space, and there's a larger pool of lurkers who have some notion of which people count as regulars. Other people are watching from the shadows, enjoying or deriding the takes of the usual crowd.

People presumably do like reading my lengthy commentary or they wouldn't be here, but my tumblr wouldn't be popular like this without a healthy pool of other people who chime in regularly. It's not just that there are more people: it's that you see the same people over time. There's a bit more sense of place and community than on some parts of the internet.

--

So, in my opinion, the failure to just recreate LJ fandom on Tumblr was a skill issue.

Threaded comments were great, but LJ culture came from mailing lists, and mailing lists had the same issue as tumblr with the diverging threads.

We solved that back then by clipping out only the parts we wanted to respond to (you'd write "snip" around the quotation to show it was incomplete). We solved the smaller LJ issue by linking to other posts we were referencing and doing discussion link roundups. We solve it on tumblr by, again, linking to what we're talking about and even quoting multiple reblog chains in our own reblog of just one chain.

--

Tumblr's technical features and even general crap-ness aren't really the problem. 90s and early 00s sites regularly went down for periods of time unthinkable today.

The missing piece is people.

When one is in an active fandom with others who curate or with friends who let one know what's up, a site with imperfect features is easy to figure out and retrofit for fandom's needs. When one already feels out of touch and is between fannish passions—or at least fannish passions anyone else cares about—seeing the potential in a new site is hard.

--

Threaded comments are different and better.

LJ's built-in way to see everyone's blog in your own style was better. The automatic timestamps and the ease of seeing a paginated archive of an entire blog was better than tumblr's endless scroll and lack of clear date labeling. But some of that can be fixed with xkit or knowing your way around tumblr well.

A lot of it is nostalgia for the lj era and a refusal to take the time to figure out how to use tumblr in an oldschool internet way.

--

So by all means, people, weigh in about what made LJ great or how the culture felt at the time...

But if I see one more god damn response going "You can't have a conversation on tumblr!" in reply to my tumblr, which contains nothing but conversation, I am coming for you.

[alotofpockets]

The London Derby | Lucy Bronze x Arsenal!Reader

Where you play an intense game against your girlfriend

Woso masterlist | Words: 1.5k

-----

The loud sound of your alarm broke the silence that had filled your bedroom, yanking you from a dream you could already not remember. With a groan you turned around, finding the warmth of your girlfriend. You snuggled into her side, and pulled your blanket further over your head. As if hiding from your alarm would magically make it go away.

Early mornings were not your strong suit, and early matches therefore even less. The struggle to get out of your bed on cold days like this was real. The warmth of your blankets is way too nice to give up just yet.

Luckily your girlfriend seemed to not notice time. It didn’t matter how early it was, she would be wide awake the moment the alarm went off. Ready to start the day the moment that the alarm sounded.

You felt Lucy shift beside you, rolling over to turn off the blaring alarm. Silence fell over the room, and you were ready to fall back to sleep. Your girlfriend knew better though, and instantly started a conversation.

“Good morning, darling.” You hummed and nestled your head further into her chest. “Too early.” You wanted this warmth and comfort to last, but you knew you had to get up and get ready, something your girlfriend wasn’t going to let you postpone, not on match day at least.

Lucy placed a few long kisses to the top of your head, “Come on, darling, big day today.” The London Derby. Lucy had heard you hype it up plenty over the years, but never before had she been a part of one. Let alone play one against you. Arsenal versus Chelsea this time around meant you versus Lucy. A match you had both been looking forward to, despite what fans had thought. Most fans thought it would be a tough match, to play against your girlfriend, but you loved it. You both respected each other and the other’s careers, so no matter the outcome of the match, you’d be happy for each other, like you had always been.

“Do I have to?” You groaned again, making Lucy chuckle lightly. “I mean, I’d say not getting up is a forfeit, so that means the first London Derby is automatically mine, no matter the score later.” This woke you up instantly. You sat up straight in bed, “Ain’t no way I’m forfeiting. Let’s go Bronze, we have to get up.” 

Lucy was surprised at how fast you had gotten up, taking a mental note to use similar tactics to help you get up in the future. 

When Lucy moved from Barcelona to London, you knew you wanted to move in together. You had been together for a few years, but had always lived in different cities. So, now that you’d finally be living in the same city, you didn’t have to think twice about moving a little further away from the training grounds to live somewhere between your jobs. 

After a quick bite, you headed your separate ways. Lucy towards the Chelsea training grounds, to take the bus to the Emirates with her teammates, and you towards Leah. You don’t remember when it started, but somewhere along the lines, you and Leah had started a pre-match tradition of travelling together. 

“Ready for your first derby against Luce?” She asked once you settled into her car together a while later. “Oh yeah, ready to start the tally 1-0 for us on the derby front.” Leah chuckled, she had known the both of you for a long time, and knew how competitive the both of you were separately, let alone together. 

“Well, if you need a place to stay after we beat them, you know the spare room is yours if you need it.” You shake your head with a chuckle. “Thanks Lee, but we’ll be good no matter what.” She smiled, “Yeah, I know you will be. The offer always stands though, because we are getting that first derby win for you.” 

It wasn’t until pitch inspections that you saw Lucy again. You met in the middle of the field, just for a moment before you’d join your own teams again. “Hey so one rule.” You said with a serious look on your face that made Lucy raise her brows in question. “You know how amazing I think your sliding tackles are.” Lucy nodded, a slight smirk playing on her lips. “Don’t you dare make them on me.” 

Lucy laughed at the way you had gotten so serious about the matter. “I make no promises. Good luck in the match, I’ll see you out there.” You wished her good luck too and made your way over to Alessia and Kyra. 

Like any London Derby, the teams were well matched and it had been a tough match for the whole eighty minutes you had played so far. Still no score on the board, and you were getting slightly frustrated with not being able to get around Lucy.

Yeah not only was it the London Derby against your girlfriend, but she was also the one defending you. It was a nice challenge, one you desperately wanted to win, but no luck so far.

Then seemingly out of nowhere, Kyra picked up the ball midfield. She lifted her head and you pointed forwards. Letting her know you wanted the ball over the top, so you could make the run. She had picked up on your instruction and kicked the ball exactly where you wanted it.

You started running and had surpassed Lucy, who was now chasing behind you. Lucy was fast, and you knew all too well that you had to keep going or she’d catch up with you.

Before you even had time to respond, you felt Lucy slide in, and knock your feet out from under you. You plummeted to the ground, before you ever registered what had happened, the referee blew her whistle signaling for a free kick.

You turned on your back so you could sit up, and saw Lucy’s hands reached out to you. “Are you alright?” You nodded and let her pull you back onto your feet. “Yeah, all good.” Lucy gave you a pat to the back before walking towards the line her teammates were forming in front of her goal.

While you were adjusting your cleats, Katie whispered something your way. With a smirk you nodded and joined the rest of your teammates that had made their way over to the penalty area as well.

Both Katie and Beth stood over the ball. Arsenal stood in a way that it could be either one of them kicking the ball. Katie’s words echo in your mind. “Wanna show your girlfriend what she gets for tackling you?” You knew exactly what she meant and had gotten in position. 

Beth ran first, but stepped over the ball. Then Katie kicked it to the far corner. You ran up to it and jumped into the air, heading it right to the back of the net. 1-0 for Arsenal, finally and only about five more minutes to play. You celebrated with the girls before lining up again.

When the final whistle blew and exhaustion hit you right away. The match had been intense to say the least, and in the end you were just happy you were able to get away with the win in the end. 

“First Derby win on the board!” Leah said as she hugged you. “That’s what she gets for tackling you.” Katie added with a teasing grin. You knew she was only joking but you knew you had to use that on Lucy as well tonight. 

When Lucy got back home, you were already showered and watching tv in your sweats. The game had exhausted you, and you couldn’t wait for Lucy to get home so you could cuddle up to her and take a nap together.

In the privacy of your own home, you hugged Lucy tighter and longer. “You played very well, my love.” You pecked her lips, giving her the recognition she deserved after playing so well. But then Katie’s words came to mind again. “Too bad you had to tackle me though. I had warned you not to do that.”

Lucy chuckled, “Yeah yeah, are you going to punish me for doing it anyways?” Your smirk grew, “Nah, I think scoring the winning goal off the free kick you gifted us is punishment enough.” 

“You’re hanging out with Katie too much.” Lucy joked with a shake of her head. “Great game, and good work on the set piece. I’m gonna take a quick shower.” She pecked your lips. “Cuddles after?” Lucy smiled at the puppy dog eyes you were giving her. “Always.”

-----

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[scribblesofagoonerr]

— Sometimes two homes are better than one

pairings: katie mccabe x child reader

summary: readers' stubbornness makes an appearance.

"I don't want to go!" You shout loudly and make your opinion very well known about the situation. "I'm not goin' and you can't make me!"

"Rascal, you have to go," Katie insists, once again on the tail-end of the usual argument with you.

"NO!" You shout back, stubbornly. "I'm not goin' there, mam!" You repeat, even going as far to stomp your foot and show her that your really being serious this time.

Katies' close to pulling her hair out with your stubborness, although shes' not exactly sure who you inherited it from out of herself and Ruesha, "Y/N, come on. We've already been over this before," She catches up to you in the kitchen where you'd stormed off once you'd gotten back from school. "Will you stop walking away from when I'm tryin' to have a conversation with you!"

Its' Friday afternoon, you've finished school and that means that Ruesha would soon be coming to pick you up from Katie's house to spend the weekend with her.

You weren't too big of a fan going between 2 households though and even though Katie and Ruesha split up when you were very little, you're still not all that used to things being different.

"I bet your mamas' really looking forward to seeing you!" Katie tries her luck to change your mind, more than familiar against your protests of not wanting to go. "Why don't you really want to go, rascal?" She wonders, trying to figure out the real reason.

"It's not fair. Why do I have to go between two households? I don't see why I can't just stay here!" You huff in protest, making your way around the kitchen, going about slamming the cupboards that you opened.

"I know its' difficult to understand rascal, but we've spoke about this before, haven't we?" Katie tells you, she hates the fact that you had inherited this stubborn streak. "I thought you were excited about going to watch your mamas' game?" She questions, knowing you were looking forward to it when it was mentioned earlier.

You shake your head in defiance, "Nope."

"Why not?" Katie honestly feels like shes' at her wits end with you and your abrupt decision to not go. "Listen, I know you don't want to go, rascal, but its' important that you still spend time with your mama!" She still tries to remain enthusiastic, depsite how difficult that is most of the time.

"Why can't mama come here instead?" You frown, not really understanding what exactly what went down between Katie and Ruesha all of them years ago.

Katie exhales a sigh and purses her lips, "Because its' not as simple as that. Your mama and I seperated and we live different lives now," She explains to you. "You usually like spending time with your mama, what's changed now, huh?" She wonders.

"I... I guess its' not the same when you two are not both together, I miss it. Like when we're at Ireland camp and stuff," You admit, although its' been a while since that has happened, you've had happy memories of them times and you wish it could be the same still.

"Oh rascal," Katie furrows her eyebrows, "Listen, I know you miss them times, but sometimes two homes are better than one, and in this case your mama and I, we're not good when we're together." She explains, trying to get it across in a way that your 11-year-old self can understand.

"I still don't like it though," You murmer in protest.

"I know you don't, but I want you to remember that no matter what happens between your mama and I, we both love you the very same, okay?" Katie reassures you, gently as she wraps her free arm around your shoulder. "Nothing about that will ever change at all."

© scribblesofagoonerr

[kinardsevan]

While we're on the subject, one of my favourite random fun facts about oliver is that he works with a charity that takes care of firefighters' health. He pays for their workout equipment for example. He's by far not the one who earns the most on that show but he does so much, I think he doesn't get enough credit but so much shit for nothing, this fandom is so weird sometimes

this fandom is also made up of people who are all ages across the spectrum, which is part of what makes it problematic.

...it's hard for me. because I came out of the NCIS fandom (into the 911 fandom, I mean) as someone who joined in at 19, and fell in love with Michael Weatherly. I loved the show so much that I enjoyed the features on the DVD sets (yes, I'm showing my age, but shut up 😂), and I remember him specifically talking about how the show used to be a popular thing for people of a certain age (read: people in their 30s and 40s), but by s8, 9, 10, people had been watching the show so long that their kids had grown up on it, and now these 15, 16, 17 year-old's were into the show as well. 911 is nearing that area, and we also have the issue that those who create for the BoBs are often sharing stuff that suggests the two are together without actually confirming that it is in fact a fanon ship. so then you have young people entering the fandom, seeing what they're reading as queer storytelling that simply hasn't been acted upon, only for characters like Ana, Marisol, and Taylor to come into play and frustrate them. But at the time, that's okay, because they're all women.

Like, it's not lost one me why all shit went to hell in a few weeks back in April 2024. for an entire class of fans of this show, buddie was always the answer. even when Tommy was first brought in, it was celebrated because "holy fuck, Evan Buckley is canonically bisexual. they finally pulled the trigger!" further, as a fandom member (and especially if you're in the "other" fandom, as I so lovingly refer to them), this is a pawn you have to play. you have to have a bad hand that you lay down so that you can get in the door, right? someone you get to throw on the sword so that you can come out the other side and achieve the point of "we're here. we made it. now lets get down to real business".

except. people like LFJr. fans like Tommy. if you're someone like me, who was GA right up until then, you had no reading on buddie, never shipped it, but then came in with the pilot and said "let him stay, we like this one". OR, maybe you were already here, and you never shipped buddie. OR maybe you had shipped buddie at one point, but something about Tommy (or the toxicity of the other side, or a million other reasons), pulled you into this side of the fandom. either way, twice now, both GA and fandom have told TM & Co., we like Tommy and we like Lou, and we want him to stay. further, we like bucktommy, and we want to keep them. that's a big threat to those in the buddie fandom.

you know what's even harder to contend with?

when you're 19, and you think the love story you've been following for years isn't going to be given to you. I've said a lot recently, I was in the Ezria fandom. I did NOT like RG coming into that ship and disrupting things. (I didn't like any of the others either, but the spurious connection between both shows still makes me laugh). I was the 19 year old in 2012 when 2b aired for PLL that was like "Fuck you mean Ezria is gonna break up? that her parents won't support it?" let me be so for real too by telling you that I never watched PLL LESS than when they were broken up in seasons four and five.

I know I've taken this conversation so off the rails in a completely different direction 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 but I say it all to make the point that, I understand the BoBs. but that doesn't mean I support what they've said or agree with it. I definitely don't agree with the bullying, because I was never a part of that crap when I was watching PLL. ship what you want, absolutely. but keep it to the fandom spaces. your posts don't belong on OS, RG, or LFJr's instagram/twitter/bluesky, etc posts, telling them that you don't like one of them or that you think they should die or that you're coming for them.

also, kids, as an elder(ish) millennial, let me remind you that what you put on the internet is out there forever (or at least until a server crashes 🤣). maybe think about that the next time you wanna tell an actor to go off themselves (or that you're going to do it or them).

[lokideservesahug]

Undescribed Avoidance

-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-

Pairing: Jenson Button x reader, Mark Webber x reader (implied)

Warnings: None that I can see?

Notes: Thank you so much for the support on this, I'm so glad you like it! Still not the big one but I think that'll come fairly soon... I really quite like the ending of this and please let me know what you think!

Summary: You just can't seem to get Mark's attention in the way you want... But poor Jenson is trying his hardest to just have a conversation with you.

Part 1 Series Masterlist

-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-

You're quite surprised with how different your rookie season is to your second season. Despite there still being low murmurs of doubt, you certainly proved to most that you are worthy of being here.

You walk into the paddock, head held high, ready for media day. You chose to coordinate your outfit with the car, half wanting to feel a connection to the team and half wanting to show everyone just how focused you are on the end goal this year; winning that world championship. Many would say that wearing white shoes and a white shirt is a recipe for disaster but you (and later the media agree with you) think that it not only creates a good tone for this year but also makes you look damn good.

You've ignored Jenson since the start of the season. Not deliberately per se but more so in an attempt to focus. You've fallen back into a routine not dissimilar to the one you had last year and Jenson wasn't in that routine last season, simple as. One person who was however was Mark. He was always there to congratulate you, looking out for you etc yet you cant help but notice that he seems a bit... distant? You shake your head. It's probably because of how busy the start of the season is. Ross manages his team very differently to how Frank did and goodness knows all eyes are on you. On all of you; Michael, Ross, the team and especially yourself. There have been a good number of articles stating how confident they are that you'll win the world championship this year... Not that you've looked (especially if your PR officer asks, she does not want you to read any articles about the team, something about being detrimental for your mental health or something like that...) You usualy space out during PR meetings so it should be no surprise that you don't remember every word said...

You break out from your thoughts as you hear a familiar laugh. Your head whips around and you see Mark stood outside of the red bull hospitality, talking to another red bull worker. You contemplate whether to approach him but all doubtful thoughts are pushed down as you approach him with a grin. "Hi Mark." He smiles back at you as your eyes meet and it feels as if you hadn't had any worries about growing distant. He appears to be the same old Mark that looked out for you at every turn last year. "Heya Y/L/N, how are you today?" You smile and continue to make small talk. And so what if you're a tiny bit late to hospitality, Mark is finally talking to you again so nothing else matters.

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

The first race comes and goes in a flash of champagne, confetti and celebrations that follows into the second race as well. And now, you've currently started a winning streak by winning at Australia for the second year in a row.

A slightly overeager fan even approached you when you were walking with Michael and said in an excited voice "Gosh if you win next year, we might have to call you the Queen of Australia." You all just laughed at the awful pun, both signed their cap and continued walking. Which brings you to now, and once again, you can't seem to find Mark.

You laugh at the thought. If you weren't weren't busy you'd almost thing he was avoiding you... Yet before you can continue that thought, a flash of motion catches your attention. You look to your right with an unimpressed grin. "What if I was cooking up some amazing strategy and you just distracted me?" Michael throws his head back in laughter and pats you on the back. "Good one. Ross said he wanted a team meeting in a few minutes." You roll your eyes and stand up, your knees cracking beneath you. "He always wants a meeting. You'd think it's the only reason he does this." Michael just tilts his head and you give him a funny look. "Well he hasn't changed much since his Ferrari days." You exhale slightly as the two of you continue to walk in step. "Gosh, you've been dealing with this for years?" The German just gives you a small nod and you grin at his misfortune.

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Honestly, you blink for a moment and then suddenly Mark is racing away. It's the third race in the season and you can now confidently say, Mark Webber is in fact ignoring you. You place down the empty bottle down on the top step of the podium where you were standing moments ago and turn to race after a charging Mark. "Y/N?" You whip your head to meet Jenson's eyes as you finally reach the edge of the podium. "Sorry I've just got to chase something. Is it alright if I catch you later?" You leave Jenson no time to awnser as you're already walking off, desperate to find Mark, unknowingly also leaving a deflated looking Jenson behind you.

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

You fall back on the sofa with a groan. When Michael invited you to have dinner with his family, you assume that he expected to moan about your problems. Well regardless, you're doing it. Your teammate just chuckles and sits at the armchair as his children scatter through the door. You move your legs slightly and Gina sits at your side and Mick at his father's and your feat on a precariously placed cushion on the floor.

Gina holds out her hairbrush and bobble and you take it in a wordless gesture, the routine coming naturally to you at this point. You continue to talk to Michael as you begin to brush Gina's hair. "I just don't get what I've done wrong. I've been friendly, kept in touch over the break, all of the normal things until he still ignores me. I thought that he was better than being bitter over someone else winning." Michael laughs as you begin to separate Gina's hair into three sections. "It's not that." You look up at him, briefly pausing from plaiting his daughter's hair. You groan "I hate when you get all cryptic." Michael just grins as you feel Gina's head shake slightly in a giggle, clearly used to her father's antics. "You'll understand eventually." You tie the end of the plait as you roll your eyes and see Corrina enter the room in your peripherals. She places a tender hand on her husband's shoulder and gives you a knowing look, clearly agreeing with Michael.

Gosh, you wish you could be so in love and in sync with someone like they are, one day.

Gina mutters a small thanks and she leans her head on your shoulder. "Well don't get too comfy because otherwise dessert will get cold." At Corinna's words, Mick bolts up and starts running towards with a happy exclamation. You all breathe out laughs and follow after him, but at a much more sensible pace.

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Silverstone. The heart of British Motorsport and one of the most iconic circuits in history. You take a deep breath, taking in the smells and sights of Thursday. A track untouched this weekend with a clear scent onto to be tarnished with burnt rubber and oil by the end of the weekend.

You meet the eyes of a young girl.

Her eyes dart around as if scared and you watch as the familiar back of Mark bends down to speak to her. You walk towards them to see if you can help the situation in any way (and you feel very thankful that you might finally be able to interact with Mark for the first time in what feels like forever). The girl backs up slightly but as you get closer, she looks up at you and meets your eyes. The girl looks to be about six and you wave at her now awestruck figure. Her mouth splits into a toothy grin and you slowly walk towards her. "Hi, I'm Y/N what's your name?" The girl giggles "I know you. I'm Charlotte." You give the small girl a smile. "That's a lovely name Charlotte. Is this your first time at Silverstone?" She nods her head and then furrows her brows as if suddenly coming to a realisation. "Yeah... my daddy wanted to take me." You smile at the girl. "Oh yeah. Is your daddy around here somewhere?" You lift your eyes and scan the surroundings. No sign of a spectator or even a frantic parent looking for a missing child.

Charlotte shakes her head and shrinks in on herself. You stand up and hold your hand out for the younger girl. "Well, shall we try and find him?" Charlotte just nods timidly and the two of you begin to look around for her father. "Can you tell me what your daddy looks like?"

You turn to Mark to ask of he'd seen the girl's father only for Charlotte to hide her face in your side and mutter something into your shirt. You gently lean away from the girl slightly and ask he to repeat myself. "My daddy said to not speak to strangers." She casts Mark a wary, almost scared look. You think for a moment and can't help but blurt out "But I'm a stranger?" Charlotte's eyes meet yours again and she shakes her head. "No you're not. You're Y/N from the racing at the weekend. I know you!" You give a soft smile at Charlotte, who is very quickly melting your heart. "Oh that's lovely. Charlotte but you can't always trust everyone you see even if they're on the telly." Charlotte pouts "But I want to be like you when I'm older. And my daddy has posters of you and that man in red in his office."

You're confused for a moment as to what she means by the 'man in red' until you draw the conclusion that she must be talking about Michael. So Charlotte's father must be a Mercedes fan then... At least that somewhat narrows it down you think?

You look around and hold your hand out again for Charlotte to take. "Well Miss Charlotte, what better way to find your father than give you a V.I.P tour of the paddock?" Charlotte's jaw drops in shock and you give a small nod to Mark who stands up and walks with the pair of you, keeping his distance to scan the surroundings for Charlotte's father. He just gives a small smile back and you feel your heart flutter at the small exchange. Charlotte clears her throat slightly and speaks in a quiet voice. "Who's that?" You tilt your head and point to Mark. "Who, him?" Charlotte nods and you can't stop yourself from smiling at the thought of the man. "That's Mark Webber, he drives for Red Bull."

Charlotte's lips form a tiny 'o' in realisation and she let's out a small exhale. She glances at Mark again and turns to you in a loud whisper (that probably seems quiet to a six year old). "Is he your boyfriend?" You feel your cheeks warm at the question and both you and Mark freeze for a moment. You refuse to meet his eyes and just the both of you splutter for a moment. You force out a small "No... no he's not." You try and shield your face from the red bull driver and you see Charlotte cast a wary glance at Mark again. She whispers to you again "My daddy said all Australians are upside down? Is he ok?" This time, Mark clearly overhears her and chuckles. You shake your head and when Charlotte catches sight of a food cart tucked to the side of the McLaren hospitality, she races towards it, pulling you along with her.

Mark trails behind and unbeknownst to you, stares at the two of you with a look of longing. A dream future suddenly flashing before his eyes, hitting him with yet another harsh realisation of his feelings. Mark continues to look ahead at the two of you. He can't help himself from grinning yet the domestic moment is quickly broken by a man's frantic shouts.

"Charlotte!" The younger girl, now with a muffin in hand turns and widens her eyes. "Daddy!" The man runs towards his daughter and scoops her up in a protective hug, hand resting on the back of your head. His eyes are shut in sheer happiness to have his daughter back and he finally meets your eyes. "Thank you so much..." He pauses, the weight of who exactly finally found his daughter finally sinking in. You just give him a smile. "Hey, no worries. It was a pleasure to have her." The man looks down at his daughter and grins. "I'm impressed by how quickly she found the two of you. I've heen looking all morning and haven't found a single driver." You chuckle at the man, understanding exactly how little most drivers want to stop and converse with fans so early in the morning.

"Well, Charlotte here was more than exemplar at seeking us out." You reach out and rub a hand over the top of her head, making her giggle. The interaction brings you such joy and as you come to the realisation that your little moment with her and Mark is coming to an end, an idea strikes you. "Hey, how would you like to come and sit in my garage for the weekend!" Charlotte's father's jaw just drops as the girl nods happily at you. "Please, please, please!" She tugs on her father's hand "Please daddy can we?" This clearly wakes the man from his shock and still speechless, he nods franticly and you. You laugh at the grown man, who is now reduced to simple cognitive behaviour and turn towards the Williams garage. You expect to see Mark at your side and at some point in the conversation you must have failed to see him leave as the Aussie is no longer at your side. You try and ignore the pang of emotion you feel as you begin to lead the father and daughter duo to the Williams hospitality.

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Silverstone brings yet another win and a healthy few points to add to your championship lead. And yes Sebastian Vettel is going to be a pain in your ass but when is he not...

But now is nit the time.to worry about that as you sit alone in a pub. The team had insisted on coming out and at first you'd enjoyed the evening, celebrating, singing along to your favourite songs etc. But now, you're sat alone in the corner of a dark room all alone. Your mind briefly flashes to last year at the end of the season and you try and push away the memory. At least then you were on civil terms with Mark. Now it seems like he can barely look at you. A cough makes you look up and you meet the familiar eyes of Jenson Button.

"We need to stop meeting like this." You roll your eyes at the cliché. And tilt your head "Well maybe you need to stop following me then." And for once in your life, Jenson Button makes you laugh because his dumbfounded look deserves to be placed in a museum. He grins at your laugher and quickly recovers, holding out a hand. "Well, we can't have our winner sulking in a corner. You need to celebrate!" You roll your eyes and take Jenson's hand, shaking your head as you speak "Just to clarify, this is because I have nothing beeter to do not because I want to spend the evening with you." Jenson grins. "Sure love, keep telling yourself that." And as you let Jenson lead to to the dance floor, you try and distract yourself from Mark and his recent behaviour and instead focus on Jenson. Someone who has tried to put in effort to cheer you up and be friendly towards you.

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

You meet Jenson's lips in a sultry kiss. "Don't think this means anything Button." You pull aways lightly and are met with the sight of Jenson's signature grin. "Of course not love." You just shake your head and snake your arm around his shoulders. Jenson carries on kissing you as if it would win him the world championship a hundred times over. And depsite the fact that yourself a year ago would have a fit at the thought, you must admit. Jenson Button is a damn good kisser. The sound of a distant knock sounds and the two of you pull away, your lower lip dragging between Jenson's own as you distance your faces. "Who is it?"

A second passes until you hear the familiar sound of your teammate. "Just me, Hase. Is everything alright in there?" You hum in agreeance and push Jenson oit of sight from the door. You pull down the handle and stick the top half of your body out of the door and are careful to shield Jenson from sight. You give Michael a smile and he furrows his brows before giving you a grin back. "Ah." You tilt your head at his clear realisation. "What?" The German shakes his head and grins. "Nothing Hase, just glad to see that you're alright. Are you going to go to sleep soon then?" You nod your head. "Here abouts. The race was pretty tiring and you know and just want to be ready for all of the practise Ross will no doubt make us do." Michael laughs at your repsonse, clearly used to his Ross and his intensity. Jenson also snorts at your remark but fortunately enough, Michael must not hear him over his laugher. You walk the Brit slightly, makinghim quietly grunt at the impact. "Well keep youreslf rested. And see you tomorrow." You give the older man that has become not only your mentor, but near family a soft smile. "Night, Schumi and tell Corinna and the kids I said hi." Michael smiles and walks a few steps and then lingers. "Y/N?" "Yeah?" "Don't stay up too late hm?" You sharply inhale. "What do yo-" You cut yourself off ad you see Michael's knowing look. You go to string together a coherent thought to respond but he beats you to it. "I've been there once too. Just make sure you get some rest, it's the most important thing. The both of you." You feel your cheeks warm and you look down in embarrassment as the German bids you goodnight once more and finally leaves.

You step back and gently click the door closed. Suddenly, you feel warmth around your waist. Jenson enveloped you in his arms and you hum. "He's a perceptive one." You chuckle slightly and Jenson begins to leave open mouthed kisses on the expanse of your neck. "Yeah- well I suppose you don't get 7 world championships for nothing." Jenson pauses and meets your eyes with yet another grin. "Yeah, well I'd be well on my way if there wasn't such a gorgeous distraction on track." You roll your eyes but let yourself grin this time. "Don't be rude Jense, there are far nicer ways to talk about Fernando."

-°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°--°•°•°•°•--•°•°•°•°-

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed!

As always, likes, reblogs and especially feedback is always welcome!

Taglist: @nikfigueiredo @mysoulispainted @leclercings @d3kstar @hiireadstuff @a-beaverhausen @nichmeddar @lozzamez3 @stinkyjax @marymustdie @littlesatanicassholebitch @mehrmonga @insanedeathwish @ems-alexandra @a-disturbing-self-reflection @cherry-piee @thatgirlmj

[caffedrine]

Keith Howell Sequel 06 - Fan Translation

If you trust me to know what I'm doing, then we have both made a huge mistake. I cannot guarantee accuracy for this fan translation, or even grammatical correctness.

Please support Cybird and pick up this event when it makes it to the English Server

It was still early to head to the royal territory, and Keith and I were once again visiting the town.

Emma: “There are a lot of children gathered here... Is this a puppet show?”

Keith: “It’s a traveling puppet theater. Want to watch it up close?”

Emma: “Yes!”

We quietly approached so as not to disturb the children.

(Even without any dialogue, I can understand the emotions and the development of the story through the puppets. Amazing...)

The theater members, whose face were hidden by a black cloth, moved their fingers and arms gracefully to the lively music, breathing life into the puppets.

I was instantly drawn into the world of the story and, in the end, joined the children in giving a big round of applause.

Keith: “The puppets from Kougyoku are intricate and highly regarded even in other countries, but seeing them up close is overwhelming.”

Keith: “The story is a classic, but there were many funny moments, making it enjoyable.”

Keith: “I was quite surprised when the dorayaki appeared.”

Emma: “Hehe, that’s true. It’s suddenly making me want to eat one.”

Keith: “Really? That's perfect.”

Keith: “Before we leave the castle, I got the location of Kagari's shop, so how about we go there now?”

Emma: “I want to go! I’m getting hungry.”

Keith: “So am I.”

(What kind of shop is it? I’m excited...)

Led by Keith, we started walking.

At that moment, I spotted a theater member surrounded by children. Even though they shouldn’t be seen while wearing the black clothes, they waved the puppet's hand as if to notice my gaze, and I waved back.

(I hope I can see the puppet show again.)

As I passed under the cat noren, the sign for the sweets shop “Nekoen” run by Kagari...

(Wow... how stylish)

The spacious interior was filled with the aroma of different tea leaves and sweets, different from the ones in Rhodolite and Jade.

There were many customers, suggesting it was a popular shop, and they were enjoying conversations and meals in their own ways. The counter was lined with dorayaki for takeout, and half of the menu hanging from the ceiling was also dorayaki.

(There are sweets other than dorayaki, and even staple foods...)

Emma: “It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to call it a specialty shop.”

Keith: “I might have underestimated Kagari's dorayaki. I take my hat off to her.”

Keith: “Oh. I got a discount ticket when I got the location, so I should use it.”

He took out a piece of paper from his pocket as if remembering.

(“Discount Ticket for Kagari = Amagase... There’s also a cute drawing of a cat.”)

Keith: “It’s a makeshift but a charming discount ticket. I wonder if it really works.”

Keith: “Anyway, I’ll call the staff, so wait here.”

Emma: “Oh, I can wait.”

Keith: “I want you to think about what you’ll order. If you want, you can order for me too.”

Emma: “Got it. Please do!”

Keith confirmed that there were no staff on the first floor and went up to the second floor.

I stared at the menu, trying to make a decision.

(Everything looks so delicious, and there are so many flavors of dorayaki that I can't decide!)

Emma: “Typically, there’s red bean paste... but the ones with whipped cream and matcha paste also look tasty.”

As my list of desserts I wanted kept growing, I was almost about to groan when—

??? “Are you in trouble?”

(Huh, that voice...?)

Startled, I looked to my side, and there stood some familiar faces wearing confident smiles.

Leon: “Hey, long time no see.”

Emma: “King Leon!? And Lord Licht too, what are you two doing in Kougyoku... Wait, this isn’t a dream, right?”

I blinked repeatedly, confirming our unexpected reunion at this place.

Licht: “Of course not. You’re too surprised.”

Leon: “I was hoping for that reaction, and waiting for the right timing to call out to you was a complete success.”

Emma: “Timing...?”

Emma: “Were the two of you in the shop when I entered with Keith?”

Licht: “I was dragged behind the shelf so you wouldn't notice.”

Leon: “Tch, suddenly being formal, Emma. You’re acting like you’re keeping your distance because of our positions, and it’s making me uneasy.”

Leon: “So that stiff way of speaking you had when we were at Rhodolite is out of the question. Got it?”

Emma: “Hehe, understood. Thank you.”

Liam: “Um, by the way, I was also dragged behind the shelf.”

Emma: “Whoa, Liam! You were hiding with Leon.”

Liam appeared from behind the nearby shelf and stood diagonally behind me as if it was his regular spot.

Liam: “I can’t disobey orders from the King of Rhodolite.”

Leon: “That’s a thank you for showing us to the shop.”

(Thank you...?)

Licht: “Thanks can be a bother.”

Leon: “Tch, come on, let’s enjoy this reunion after such a long time.”

The unchanged banter between the two brought back memories of my time at Rhodolite, and my heart warmed with nostalgia.

(Hehe, Leon is just as he was. I’m really glad both of them seem well.)

Emma: “So, why are you two in Kougyoku?”

Leon: “Traveling.”

Emma: “...”

Licht: “You know it's a lie even without looking at me.”

Licht: “For the same reason as you.”

(I came to gather information about the movements of the three-country alliance too.)

(But I never expected our timing to overlap...)

Just then, I turned my face toward the sound of footsteps, and Keith, with his olive-colored hair swaying softly, returned.

Keith: “Emma, sorry to keep you waiting. They’ve prepared a table on the second floor—”

Keith: “Oh, King Leon and Lord Licht! Long time no see!”

Leon & Licht: ““Long time no see.””

Keith: “Thank you, Liam.”

Liam quietly bowed his head, and the answer to my question formed in my mind.

(Keith isn’t surprised to see Leon and the others.)

(He knew they were coming to Kougyoku from the start.)

Leon: “I happened to be hungry, so I arrived early.”

Leon: “I feel bad about interrupting your close relationship, but is it okay if I join?”

Keith: “Emma, is that alright?”

Emma: “Of course. I also wanted to talk more with Leon and Licht.”

The table on the second floor we were guided to was a private room where we could relax.

After placing our orders, the conversation flowed as we discussed the current situation in Rhodolite and the princes' recent news.

Just as I began to feel nostalgic and a little sentimental, sweet aromas wafted over, and the desserts arrived.

In front of me was a mini dorayaki plate with two flavors to enjoy, Keith had a dorayaki parfait, Leon had a variety of dango skewers, and Licht had an red bean parfait.

Leon: “Is that red bean paste on top of the dango? I've never seen such colorful red bean paste in deep green, yellow, and red before.”

Leon: “If I told Yves about this, I can just imagine him saying, ‘Don’t brag about it!’”

(I think his imitation of Yves just now was somewhat similar.)

Licht: “In the end, he would likely ask us in detail about the sweets she saw in Kougyoku and try to make them himself.”

Keith: “If it were Yves, he would definitely make them, and Jin would be very happy.”

Keith: “Well then, since everything is here, shall we eat?”

Emma: “Yes. Let’s dig in.”

With my heart full of excitement, I cut a piece of dorayaki into bite-sized portions.

(The skin is fluffy! The sakura bean paste inside has a slight saltiness and is delicious.)

(This one is matcha flavor... Mmm, it’s slightly bitter yet mellow. The sweetness is moderate and easy to eat.)

With every bite, my cheeks kept relaxing with the deliciousness.

Keith: “....”

(What could it be? Keith’s gaze is on me.)

Which option should you choose?

(By the way, Keith's parfait looks delicious too.)

(Maybe he preferred the dorayaki plate?)

(Does Keith want to taste it?)

Emma: “Here, Keith.”

I cut a piece of matcha dorayaki into a manageable size and offered it to Keith.

Keith: “Is it alright? Then...”

With his golden eyes lazily narrowed, he leaned close to the fork to take a bite. The distance between us unexpectedly shrank, causing my heart to leap.

Keith: “Thank you. I was curious because you’re enjoying it so much, Emma.”

Emma: “I thought that might be the case.”

Keith: “Oh....”

Emma: “?”

Keith: “Emma, your face is turning a little red.”

Emma: “P-please pretend you didn’t notice that!”

Emma: “Keith, would you like another bite?”

Keith: “Yeah, I’d like to eat more.”

(I realize he’s probably aware that “another bite” is a way to dodge the subject.)

Leon & Licht: “...”

Emma & Keith: “...!!”

Brought back to reality by warm gazes pouring in from across the table.

It seemed that Keith had completely forgotten about the presence of the two, his eyes swimming and his cheeks completely red...

The awkward coughs to hide his embarrassment only made his face heat up even more.

(Licht is having PTSD flashbacks now)

Leon: “Seeing you two so lovey-dovey, I’m glad I came to Kougyoku after all, right, Licht?”

Licht: “The topic has changed.”

Licht: “Well, it's a relief to see that you guys are still the same.”

(Licht...)

Keith: “It’s good to see that you two are the same as ever.”

We heard a knock at the door, and Liam entered.

Then, when Keith winked at him, he placed two envelopes he had in his hand on the table next to Leon.

(They have the emblem of the Jade Kingdom on them.)

Keith: “I’ll get right to the point, so you don’t forget.”

Emma: “Keith, what is that?”

Leon: “It contains information related to the purpose of our visit here. Right?”

Keith: “I’ve only grasped a handful so far.”

Leon: “The reliability of the information you can gather from Jade, which is related to the royal family, and from Rhodolite, which isn't, is drastically different.”

Leon: “That’s really helpful. Thanks a lot.”

Emma: “Did you and Keith have an agreement to meet in Kougyoku?”

Leon: “We both want to explore alliances for the future of our respective countries, so Keith contacted me.”

Leon: “It’s a perfect match for us.”

(So that’s what it was. I didn’t know.)

Leon: “By the way, the reason you weren’t informed about this is that I requested it.”

Emma: “Is that... perhaps to surprise me?”

Leon: “Correct.”

Emma: “I'm frustrated that you caught me off guard.”

(But I have no choice but to forgive him since I was happy to meet Leon and the others.)

Leon picked up another envelope and tilted his head.

Leon: “So, what’s in this envelope here?”

Keith: “I know it’s presumptuous, but it states that you are my friends in writing.”

Keith: “With that, you'll be able to enter and exit the Kuuga King's castle as esteemed guests, and Kagarin has already granted permission for the inspection.”

Licht: “Did you go that far for us?”

Keith: “I invited you, so it would be rude not to go this far.”

Keith: “Besides, I owe more than I can repay to Rhodolite.”

((That was during the time when Keith was accused of an attempted assassination of the king by Prince Fernan.))

Just recalling it tightened my chest painfully.

(I don’t want to see Keith in such pain ever again.)

Keith: “If you get hurt again... Well, I might just lock you in your room.”

Keith: “It may be boring at first, but as time passes, it will become a regular routine.”

Keith: “For me, happiness cannot exist without you, Emma.”

Keith: “So please don’t worry. Your feelings and your words... they are being conveyed.”

(....)

Even as I thought that, what crossed my mind were the small cracks I had seen in our happy daily life...

I found myself unconsciously gripping my skirt.

Keith: “Emma.”

I was called by name when Leon and the others had left the room, leaving just Keith and me in the private room.

Emma: “Yes, what is it?”

Keith: “It’s an afternoon tea party with the Amagase family, but how about I attend alone?”

Emma: “Uh...”

Keith: “I thought there wouldn’t be enough time to celebrate the reunion with Leon and the others.”

Keith: “It’s not often that we get a chance to talk like this.”

Keith: “Though Rhodolite and Jade are neighboring countries, it’s hard to say that they are close enough to visit casually.”

Keith: “So I thought while I attend the tea party, it would be good for you to be with Leon and the others.”

Emma: “Well, um... that is...”

The gentle tone in his proposal left me more confused than surprised.

(As Keith said, creating opportunities to meet with Leon and the others isn’t easy when considering our positions and distances.)

(But...)

No matter how tough the lessons or duties might be to fulfill my responsibilities and roles as the future queen,

Keith always gently supports my back and watches over me until the end.

Since coming to Kougyoku, there have been many instances where he has respected my actions and thoughts during inspections and goodwill meetings...

That’s why this proposal was unexpected.

(Does he have a reason he doesn’t want me to attend the tea party?)

The sharp gazes during the goodwill meeting and the invitation that arrived just in time floated in my mind.

(There seems to be no end to Keith’s kindness.)

(Knowing how much I’ve been protected by that kindness makes me suspicious.)

(...)

(Even so, I still want to participate together.)

(... This may not be the feeling of a future queen.)

Emma: “Keith, I—”

My words were interrupted by fingers touching my lips. Before I knew it, I was gazing into his golden eyes, which had a beastly coldness.

(Oh, Alter!Keith... Why the sudden change?)

The fingers that had been on my lips were removed.

Alter!Keith: “You don’t need to listen to what he says.”

Emma: “That is...”

Alter!Keith: “What do you want for yourself?”

Alter!Keith: “Do you want to go together, or would you prefer to wait with Leon and the others in Kuga’s territory?”

Since both of their words were for my sake, I found myself hesitating.

But looking into his eyes, my heart was made up.

Emma: “I want to go together.”

Emma: “If it’s known that I’m in Kougyoku because of the royal family, they should know that I’ll likely be with you.”

Emma: “Participating in the goodwill meeting and skipping the tea party would leave a bad impression, so I’d like to avoid that.”

Alter!Keith: “...That’s a passing mark.”

Emma: “So it’s not full marks.”

Alter!Keith: “If it was because ‘I don’t want to be apart from Keith,’ I might have reconsidered.”

(...If that was the reason, I would definitely have full marks.)

(I lied.)

He cupped my chin with his fingers and gave me a soft kiss. The fleeting relief I saw deep in his eyes made me feel that my choice was the right one.

(There have been times before when opinions differed between the two Keiths.)

(However, it’s rare to see him become forceful enough to switch personalities.)

(Slightly scary to be away from the current Keith...)

After seeing the carriage carrying Keith and Emma, Leon turned his gaze to Licht, who was next to him.

Leon: “It felt like we hadn’t run out of things to talk about since we met again after such a long time.”

Leon: “Emma and Keith both seem well, so I now have a story to bring back to Eve and the others.”

Licht: “It’s only been that way up to a point, though.”

Leon: “You noticed too?”

Licht: “...It’s a coincidence, but...”

Leon: “It didn’t seem like we were in the way of each other, but...”

Leon: “It almost looked like we were both too concerned for each other.”

Licht: “.....”

Leon: “Well, if something happens, we can cooperate again like that time.”

Leon: “We're effectively here for that, aren’t we?”

After parting ways with Leon and the others, we transferred from the carriage to a ship, heading toward another island governed by the royal family.

Given its history, the royal castle exuded a solemn atmosphere that made me straighten my back.

Emma: “Have you met Kagari's brother, Keith?”

Alter!Keith: “He has.”

Emma: “What kind of person is he?”

Alter!Keith gazed into the air as if he were recalling the kind-hearted side of himself.

Alter!Keith: “He seems like a suspicious guy.”

(This person is...)

[gallavichsreddie1128]

Baltimore Part Four (Will Graham)

Description: Will and Y/N are on the hunt for Hannibal

Warning:Drugging, Violence

Word Count: 1,571

I looked at Will like he was crazy. He wanted us to forgive him? After all he did, like almost kill him? I wasn’t a big fan of the idea of forgiving him. We walked into the chapel and looked around. It was a nice chapel but something felt odd about it. “The Chapel is closed.” We turned to leave but someone yelled something in our direction stopping us. “What did he say?” Will asked not understanding. “He wants to talk to you.” Will looks at the guy as he comes up to us. “Senior Graham.” “This is my wife Y/N Graham.” I shake the guy’s hand. He read all about Will in the FBI file. “What do you need from us?” I asked as we walked. “I’m just like you. I do what you do. We share the gift of imagination.” Pazzi as I learned his name said to Will. “You do what he does?” I asked the man and he nodded. “So you knew Hannibal?” I asked him after words were exchanged between the two. “I met him 20 years ago.” I looked at the man as he told us what he remembered. Hannibal was a dangerous man that I knew but I wasn’t aware that he had another life. “That’s where you met il Mostro.” Will said. Pazzi pulled out a picture of Hannibal 20 years younger. “That’s where I met him. The Monster of Florence.” I looked at the picture and saw how beautiful he was. 

We watched Pazzi leave as I looked around the place. Will had the crime folder in his hand. Will walked up to the crime scene and I followed. He moves the yellow tape and starts visioning what happened. “I splintered every bone…” He went off as he talked about how Hannibal did this. “This is my design.” He finishes. “He left us his broken heart.” “He has a heart?” I asked jokingly but Will looked at me and didn’t laugh. 

We were walking down the stairwell to the catacomb door. “You think Hannibal is here?” I asked him. He nodded. “And you wanna forgive him?” I asked. He nodded again. I wanted to question him on why he thinks that we should but we end up at the door and walk in. The place was dark and kinda scary. There was barely any light and Will called out his name. “Hannibal.” He called out over and over again. I got the feeling that Will was right about Hannibal. He was here. I hear Pazzi down here calling Will’s name. “Senior Graham.” We turned to him. “You shouldn’t be down here alone.” Will says to him. “I’m not alone, I'm with you guys.” “You don’t know what side we’re on.” I said to him. “What are you guys going to do when you find him?” I shrugged. “I’m curious about that myself.” Will says. “You and I both carry the dead with us, Senior Graham.” Will nods. “Why don't you carry your dead back to the chapel before you count yourself among them.” Will threatens him. I hit him on the shoulder. “Don’t threaten him.” I growl. “You’re already dead aren’t you?” He asked and slipped away into the darkness. I looked around as I expected Hannibal to show but he didn’t. “We forgive you.” Will yells to him. That is if he was even in here with us. 

The train moved as Will and I slept in the bed on top and Chiyoh slept at the bottom. We didn’t have much conversation but she was gonna help with Hannibal. Will shook me out of my peaceful as it can get sleep. “Sorry but you’d be mad if I didn’t wake you.” He says and I wait for him to continue. “She’s not in bed.” He tells me and we both get up. She was at the back of the train staring off as we walked out to her. “I like the night. It’s different from where we are during the day.” She says. “We’re different from who we are during the day.” Will says. We are both on her sides. “Why are you searching for Hannibal?” I asked her. She turned to me. “I know exactly where he is. I’m not searching.” She says. “Is he in Florence?” I asked her. She nods. “Why didn’t you tell us you knew?” Will asked her. She never broke eye contact with me. “I told you there are means of influence other than violence.”

She leans in and kisses me. I was shocked but didn’t push away or move. “Hey.” Will says and pulls her off me. She looks at him. “But violence is what you understand.” She says and pushes him off the train. “Will.” I yell and jump off it not even looking at her. I hurt myself by doing that but didn’t care. I got up as fast as I could and ran to Will. He was face down and he groaned as I helped him up. “Are you okay?” I asked him. He didn’t answer but took my hand. He looked bloody and I wanted to tend his needs but he began walking in the same direction the train went. “She thinks you want to hurt him.” I say. “Yeah well I do and so do you. But she wanted you to herself.” Jealousy laced in his voice. I smirked and gripped his hand tighter. “No need to be jealous Will.” He rolled his eyes at my teasing. 

“Will, Y/N.” Jack said to us looking happy to see us. We both nod at him and smile. 

“He’s wounded and worried.” Jack tells us. “Why didn’t you kill him?” I asked. Jack looked at me. “I want him to suffer alive.” “You can’t suffer dead.” Will says. We talked some about the situation until Jack mentions Mason. “Mason Verger is trying to capture Hannibal himself for purposes of personal revenge.” Jack tells us. “Have you told the police that he’s looking for Hannibal?” I asked. “They want to find Dr. Fell inside the law.” Dr. Fell. That was Hannibal’s new name. He couldn’t go under his actual name. 

Hannibal turned towards us and smiled. “Good to see you.” Will said. “Hannibal.” I say, wanting nothing more than to kiss him. Though I held myself back. “If I saw you guys forever I would remember this day.” He says. “Crazy seeing you in front of us.” Will said. Hannibal smiled. 

“How is Chiyoh?” Hannibal asked us. “She kissed me and pushed Will off a train.” I said and Will still didn’t look happy about the kiss. “Atta girl.” Hannibal said. “Hannibal there’s something all of us need to talk about.” I say and look at Will. He nods and looks at Hannibal. “We aren’t having marriage issues anymore and we’ve come to the conclusion that we both have feelings for you.” Will told him as we walked out of the museum. I watched Hannibal's face and he didn’t show shock or say much at first. “It’s true Hannibal. We’ve talked about it a lot.” I say. Before Hannibal answers, Will gets shot. “Will” I scream as he almost falls to the ground but Hannibal catches him. I help him with Will as Hannibal looks around. I noticed a knife on the ground that Will had dropped and picked it up. Was Will planning on killing Hannibal? “Come on, we need to go.” Hannibal says.

Hannibal walked into the house with me holding Will up with him. “Set him on the couch.” He said and I helped him sit Will down in the cho. “Will, you okay?” I asked as he groaned and moaned in pain. Hannibal comes back with a glass of water and make Will drink it. He hands me the glass and I kept giving it to Will. “The bullet is still inside you. This will hurt.” He says and helps Will. We both pull Will’s coat and shirt off to get to the wound. Hannibal handed the knife to me. “He dropped his forgiveness.” He told me as I looked at the knife. I looked at Will. “Will what the fuck is this?” I asked him. “You forgave how God forgives.” Hannibal says to him. “Does God gloat?” Will asked. I wanted to hit him for ignoring me.

“Will why the fuck do you have a knife?” I asked him again, this time aggression was in my tone. “Do you actually think I would kill him?” He asked me. “I don’t know why else would you have a knife?” Hannibal chuckled as he had a needle and injected it into Will’s arm. “What’s that?” I asked. “An antidote to help with the pain.” I saw Will focusing in and out of consensus. “No I don’t think that’s what you gave-” Hannibal pulls me close to him. “No love it wasn’t. But you two belong to me and you just made it easier with that confession.” He says and pulls me to the kitchen. “Hannibal, what are you doing?” I asked but he set me in the chair. He caressed my cheek and leaned down to kiss me. I missed the feeling of his lips on mine. They were soft and felt just right. I kissed back and he pulled away and smirked. His face dropped and he took my head and slammed it on the table knocking me out.         

[a-bad-case-of-the-stephs]

Finally re-reading Robin 101-104 (the nocturna arc) bc I remember being intrigued but overwhelmed the first time and looking back I really, really enjoy it (it's timsteph at their most enjoyable and has decent balance between the conflict in Tim's life and the inner workings of Steph's life, which was always unequal in Dixon's robin to the point of being slightly infuriating) but an interesting addendum to what you were saying a bit ago visa vie Steph's costume: Nocturna keeps saying to Steph "I see the colours you wear" as a means of arguing that her and Steph have some Fundamental Aspect in common. Which is potentially connected to womenhood/feminity? Said bc Natalia calls her "little sister" during the second time she mentions the colours Steph wears and bc Steph connects hers and Natalia's experiences of gendered violence in her head. I also mentioned in my comments on that post that the pink/purple colour choice feels connected to Steph's status as the 'young girl' character of the batman cast at the time (since Cass' character actively subverts a lot of teen girl stereotypes that Steph's character more incorporates and is in conversation with, Buffy Summers-style) so that feels like a personal win lol. Tbh a connection between Steph and Nocturna over ~feminine energy~ is kind of fitting from a modern lens considering like, modern tiktok influencer 'woo woo crystal energy' spiritual girlie phrases and buzzwords that sucker young girls into believing a bunch of borderline medievalist garbage.

Which got me thinking about Steph and Nocturna and how brief their relationship is but how interesting it is and how it's been referenced and revisited briefly in modern continuity but that's a whole other can of worms. Wish someone would take the time at DC to sort out the continuity between Nocturna's tbh, pre-crisis post-crisis and post-flashpoint all feel so different I can't reconcile them really, even tho post-crisis and post-flashpoint are meant to be the same(?) now.

Anyway yeah. Random Steph and Nocturna thoughts as I reread this arc! Hope they give some food for thought

Thank you for this! Im always so happy to see I got an ask from you, you always have such great Steph takes and thoughts.

I totally get how this arc can feel overwhelming. On one hand, I adore how much detail and nuance Jon Lewis brings to the table when it comes to Steph, and I definitely appreciate how we get so much of her internal monologue aside Tims, really emphasizing her perspective as a valid and important one. (As you point out, this stands fairly in contrast to Dixons approach). But on the other hand: there’s so much fucking internal dialogue. Swaths of it. It’s a lot sometimes, especially when it’s not broken up, and (for me at least) is sometimes easy to get lost reading.

(Also have to confess something: i didn’t realize Natalia was meant to be a version of Nocturna. Whoops. Definitely good to know, thanks.)

Big fan of the take about Stephs costume and femininity. Especially fun to look at this in contrast to Cass. Like you mentioned, Cass stands in contrast to the expected archetypes and trappings of a teen girl character, while Steph tends to conform to them. (Which is especially ironic to me given Cass begins with the explicitly gendered title ‘Batgirl’ while Spoiler is gender neutral.)

Steph being a female character is (for better or worse) essential to how her character is treated on every level. Misogyny and especially sexualization and sexual violence are kind of core parts of her character. Unlike Cass, Steph isnt detached from femininity, she is constantly reasserted to be part of it and hurt by her association with it, both through the sexual violence she is threatened with consistently and more than that through the way she can be narratively treated, dumbed down and villainized and discarded when convenient.

But Steph’s ‘femaleness’ can also be core to her character in a (somewhat) positive way. Her strongest familal relationship (while rocky) is by far her relationship with her mother. While pretty much every male relative in her life we see is some degree of absolutely shitty, Crystal and Steph’s relationship is deep and compelling and genuinely touching.

One of the first missions she gave herself as Spoiler was to track down Jim Murray: for the specific reason of protecting other young girls he might try to prey upon.

So given that, I’m interested the read of Steph’s femininity as connected to the purple of her costume. Given how often is Steph doomed or defined by her femininity I think it’s interesting to have it grounded in her costumes coloration as well, for better or worse.

Anyways, another bit of the connection between Nocturna and Steph and femininity which you got me thinking of is the moment where Steph tries to contact Natalia’s mother.

Maybe it’s just because I’ve had Crystal and Steph’s relationship on the brain so much recently, but it’s so interesting to me that Steph thinks to try to contact Natalias mom.

Especially as a character who we know spent a long long time seeing Crystal as unreliable or unsafe to confide in, and who Steph is at times more accustomed to seeing as someone she has to take care of instead of Vice versa.

Maybe this is because they’re in between these rough points right now. Steph is probably experiencing a high point in their relationship. (Crystal is clean and present, they’ve commiserated over how shitty Arthur is, and Steph has gotten a lot more time getting used to her mom wanting to be there for her.)

Good point about the whole ‘feminine energy’ spiritualistic stuff w Noctura retaining relevance, huge agree.

Their relationship is just generally very interesting, with the ‘little sister’ of course, and Steph seeing Natalia as a child to some degree, and their connection through music. I also find her convo w Steph with the stars just so enduringly touching, definitely a highlight for me.

(And who fucking knows w continuity at this point. It’s rough out here. Also, didn’t know her and Steph’s interactions had been revisited, that’s very interesting, good to know.)

Anyway great thoughts as always, thanks for the ask, and sorry this took like literally forever to respond to I’ve been stupid busy.

[fervidgrey]

Heavy in Your Arms

Disclaimers

Notes: This fic is Togame Jo-centric, not a huge fan of Choji so fans beware- Choji stays crazy, there will be original characters sprinkled in as needed, MC is on the thicker side (i've left this open to interpretation) Jo is nearly 200lbs he can handle some thicc thighs.

Fic wide TW: Aged Up Characters, No Characters Below 18,  No Use of Y/N, Reader’s Body is MOSTLY Open to Interpretation- but leans thicc, Unhealthy Coping Skills, People Pleaser- Reader Has Some Spine, Established Family Dynamics, Unhealthy Relationship, Praise Kink, Light BDSM, Voyeurism ,Dead Dove: Read Warnings!, Graphic Depictions of Gang Violence,  Sexual Content, Sexual Assault, Drug Use, Threats of Vilolence, Graphic Depictions of Torture, Xenophobia, Mentions of Drugs, Graphic Depictions of Drug Use, AU- Cannon Divergence.

Please do not read if this would harm you in any way, your mental health comes first!

Book: Heavy in Your Arms

Chapter: 5, My feet dragged across the ground

Chapter TW: General unhealthy relationships.

Word Count: 20,000~ (No beta, we die like men.)

Your eyes snapped open for reasons unknown. No dreams had lingered long enough to be remembered, and your phone hadn’t buzzed- you simply just woke up. With a loud groan you rolled over, wishing to return to the sweet, comfortable darkness. Today you had promised to talk about what had been bothering you with Togame.

Laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, your mind turned with thoughts of the upcoming conversation with Togame. The weight of everything you need to tell him makes your chest pull tight. How do you even begin to explain everything?

The clock  sitting on your night stand reflected the time in big red mocking letters. It's only 6:23 AM - still hours before Togame is set to pick you up. With a sigh, you force yourself out of bed. A shower was the only way to handle being awake this early without freaking out from every fake conversation cycling in your head. 

The hot water soothed every muscle and thankfully, slowed your mind. With closed eyes, you try to organize your thoughts. You needed to tell Togame about Toma and his friends, right? If he didn’t know them it was a pointless conversation. If he did- well, you didn’t know. 

Deep urges to avoid dealing with personal turbulence makes your head roll back and forth under the water, mirroring your mind: avoid the situation or to come clean? Was it even /important you knew about them both being in different gangs? It wasn’t like you knew all their secrets. You frowned at the thought. You didn’t really know anything deep about any of them. Togame was like a magnet, your cousin was blood, and Kotoha was just amazing, and the others were protective- but you really didn’t know much. 

After drying off and getting dressed, you catch sight of yourself in the mirror. The hickies on your neck look even darker today. With an arched eyebrow you stepped closer to the mirror, inspecting your body. You kinda liked the look of Togame’s handy work- his signature. The back of your thighs begin to tingle as you imagine Togame behind you, biting the already bruised flesh of your neck. Your fingers messaged the spots on your shoulder, your lip shifting between your teeth as you think of him adding more. While your fantasies had always been a bit more submissive, being in the position was very different but it felt so addictive. I swear. New heat traveled down your thighs as spectral hands roamed your body-  his voice ghosting in your ear. Pinching your eyes closed you slowly pushed away the thoughts.

As much as you'd love to indulge in fantasies about Togame, you need to focus on the conversation ahead. Still, you can't help but smile at your reflection, a mixture of arousal and nervousness brewing in your stomach.

A quick glance at the clock showed you still have plenty of time before Togame was due to arrive. Working on your writing assignment would be a fantastic way to distract yourself, and it was due in three days. Opening your laptop, you pull up the document with your story draft. 

While you type, you find yourself pouring your conflicted emotions into your protagonist's internal monologue. The words flow easily, your character's struggle to make sense of her situation mirroring your own inner turmoil. If speaking about your worries and fears came easily to you, today would be a walk in the park- but they don't. 

Before you knew it, two hours had passed. You stretch wide, surprised at how much you've written. Upon checking the time you see it’s 9:08 AM, plenty of time to get ready for your breakfast date. Quickly you save the new work and close your laptop, feeling a sense of accomplishment but it's quickly snuffed out by anxiety about your upcoming conversation with Togame. 

A look through your closet continues to remind you it's a bit sparse- something you needed to fix with Kotoha, but you settle on a pale green flowy sundress with a built-in petticoat, some white socks and ballet flats. The marks on your neck stand out vividly against the pale dress. You muse on them, without context it did look like you got into a brawl- which didn’t feel cute for breakfast. Chuckling to yourself you grab your makeup bag and get to work covering them up with mild reluctance- it did feel like shame to hide Togame’s affections. 

Just as you finish up the final touches to your makeup, you hear a knock at the front door. Glancing at your phone, you see it's exactly 10 AM. Togame's punctuality both impresses and unnerves you considering how sluggish he seemed to move in person. Shuffling all your stuff to the side, you race to the window of your room.  You slide the window up and poke your head out, eyes landing on the handsome Togame Jo. 

“Hey! One second!” You nearly shout, a laugh follows the declaration just before you slap the window close and dash out of your room- shoes, phone and bag in hand. Glancing around you see your aunt in the garden, sitting on a mat relaxing in the morning sun.

“Auntie, I am going out for a bit. I’m gonna get some groceries today, do you need anything?”

Your aunt looks up at you, squinting against the morning sun. "Some daikon and carrots would be good," she says after a moment. "Eggs if they're on sale." She studies you for a moment, her eyes lingering on your neck where you've covered the marks

You nod, making a mental note. "Got it. I'll be back later!"

As you turn to leave, your aunt calls out, "And tell that young man waiting for you that he should come inside next time. It's rude to just wait at the door."

Your hand freezes on the doorknob. You force a smile more to yourself, hoping your nervousness doesn't reflect in your voice. "Of course, Auntie. I'll let him know”

With that, you quickly slip on your shoes, fluff your dress, then pop the door open. Togame stood there with a small smile, looking as handsome as ever in a crisp white shirt and black jeans, and oddly- no jacket. His green eyes light up when he sees you, a small smile playing on his lips. It seemed criminal for him to look this good wearing basic clothing. 

"Good morning,"  his voice alone makes you smile. "Ready to go?"

You nod, stepping out and closing the door behind you. "Ready! Where are we going for breakfast?" Togame offers you his arm, which you take gratefully. "You keep asking that.” he says with a smirk.

“And you keep not answering!” you playfully chastised back. He hums, and as usual he does not provide any more information. As the two of you walked you noticed something, it was small, but it made you involuntary swallow. His fingers holding your arm on top of his were red, and slightly swollen. This was one of the first times you’ve seen his body reflect his work and selfishly- wishing you hadn’t noticed. 

You focus instead on the warm morning sun and the comforting presence of Togame’s body beside you. The streets are relatively quiet at this hour, with just a few early risers going about their business making the silence even more pronounced in your head. After a few minutes of quiet walking, Togame leads you to a small, charming café tucked away on a side street. The sign above the door reads "Café Solar" in elegant script.

"Hope you like pancakes," Togame says as he holds the door open for you. "They opened last week, but I've heard good things."

The interior of the café is cozy and inviting, with soft lighting and the aroma of freshly baked pastries filling the air. Several other patrons are scattered at their tables, all taking pictures of their fancy display of sweets.

Your eyes went wide and a giggle slipped out upon seeing all the pancake themed decor, you loved pancakes. Waffles were good too, but pancakes with chocolate chips were in the dictionary next to the word perfection, in your mind anyways.

"I love pancakes," you say, beaming up at Togame. His choice of restaurant brings new warmth into your chest. This outing is such a normal, sweet gesture - taking you to a trendy new café for breakfast instead of a drinking spot. For a moment you forget about the complications in your life, and about his red knuckles.

A cheerful waitress leads you to a small table by the window. As you settle into your seats, you can't help but notice how Togame's large frame seems almost comically out of place in the dainty café setting. 

"Something funny?" Togame asks, raising an eyebrow.

You shake your head, still smiling. "Nothing. It's just nice to be here with you."

Togame responds with a soundless chuckle, and he reaches across the table to take your hand. His touch sends a familiar spark through you, but you can't help but stare at the irritated skin on his knuckles. He looked down at his hands then back to you. His relaxed features didn’t shift as he worked out why you were looking at his hands so much. 

“The redness is from a punching bag.” he paused with a flashy smile, “a literal punching bag.” he adds, reading your mind.

You let out a small laugh, relief washing over you. "A literal punching bag, huh? Rough workout?"

Togame shrugs, his smile still in place. "Something like that. Had some frustrations to work out."

“I know the feeling,” you quickly hush out before the waitress returns with menus. As you peruse the options, you can't help but sneak glances at Togame,  he was so fine even while checking out a menu, it felt a bit unfair honestly. Your eyes land on his fingers again, now level with your eyes- despite his reassurance about the punching bag, you can't shake the feeling that there's more to the story. But for now, you decide to focus on enjoying this moment with him. The menu displayed vibrant pictures of massive stacks of packages, or some with tons of toppings but all of them were soufflé style which suited you just fine.

"The plain chocolate chip pancakes please," you say, setting down your menu.

Togame nods in agreement. “I'll go with blueberry." As the waitress takes your orders, you notice she is blushing at him, her smile far brighter with him than you.

As the waitress walks away, you feel a twinge of jealousy at her obvious attraction to Togame. She was cute in a way you could not pull off, which stung considering you had really tired to be cute this morning. With a tiny head shake you quickly push the feeling aside, reminding yourself that you're the one sitting across from him.

"So," Togame says, his green eyes focused intently on you. "You mentioned yesterday that you wanted to talk about something."

You take a deep breath, suddenly nervous. This is the moment you've been dreading and anticipating and you didn’t even have pancakes to stuff in your mouth yet. "Yeah, I... there's something I need to tell you. About my family.." you trailed off, your voice suddenly felt weak.

Togame's expression remains neutral, but you notice a slight tensing in his shoulders. "Go on," he says slowly.

You fidget with your napkin, trying to find the right words. "Well, yesterday at the cafe..cafe pothos..” 

 Togame flinched “Wait, one second.” He pulled his phone out from his pocket. He glared at the phone ringing in his palm with extreme disdain. He flipped it open.

“I’m busy.” he hissed out but listened to whoever was talking. “Give me 10 minutes.” His expression was interesting to behold- you had never seen it like that before. Pure rage, and disgust- you never wanted to be on the end of that look.

“I need to go, but I will make it up to you,” He is already standing, pulling his wallet from his back pocket. He takes a few large steps, bridging the cafe’s interior instantly. He beckons to the waitress before handing her cash then turns back to the table. Upon reaching you he places a firm kiss on the top of your head.

“Take those home, see if your aunt would enjoy them. I’ll call you later.” He tossed you a dazzling smile then rushed out the door.

You stare at the empty seat across from you, stunned by Togame's abrupt departure, then watch Togame's retreating figure through the cafe window. The cheerful atmosphere of the café suddenly feels hollow, and cold. You slump back in your chair, disappointment and frustration washing over you. After working up the courage to finally talk to him, he's gone in an instant.

The waitress approaches, looking a bit flustered herself. "Um, your pancakes will be ready soon. Would you like them to go?" she mumbles.

You nod, not trusting your voice at the moment. As she walks away, you pull out your phone, debating whether to text Togame a bitchy message but the conflict avoidant girl in you wins. You pull up Kotoha’s number.

“I know it's last minute but would you like to do a girls day? My treat?” Within 2 minutes she texts back.

“Yes! When are you free?” A big smile hits your face, the power of girl friendship is real and alive.

“Now if you can.” 

You wait anxiously for Kotoha's reply, your disappointment from Togame's abrupt departure still weighing heavily on you, your knee bouncing from pent up annoyance. When your phone buzzes with her response, you feel a wave of relief wash over you.

"Perfect timing! Head over and I’ll start locking up."

You quickly type back a confirmation, grateful for Kotoha's enthusiasm. As you wait for your pancakes to be boxed up, you try to push thoughts of Togame to the back of your mind. Today was now about having fun with your friend, and forgetting your worries for a while.

The waitress returns with a neatly packaged box of pancakes. "Here you go," she says with a sympathetic smile. You nod a thank you, then head out of Café Solar. The walk to Cafe Pothos was too far with packages, so you hailed a cab and off you went.

As the taxi stopped in front of Cafe Pothos, you spotted Kotoha waiting outside, her face lighting up the moment you came into view. You pay the driver and step out, balancing the box of pancakes in one hand.

"Hey!" Kotoha calls, waving enthusiastically. "Ooh, what's in the box?"

You let out a sarcastic laugh, pushing away the lingering disappointment from your aborted breakfast with Togame. "Pancakes. It's dumb boy story."

Kotoha's eyes narrow slightly, picking up on your mood. "Well, we've got all day for dumb boy stories. Come on, let's drop those off inside and then we can start our girls' day!"

You follow Kotoha into the cafe, placing the pancakes in the small fridge behind the counter then popping back outside. As she finishes locking up, you take a deep breath, letting the sun warm your face. It was so nice outside, there was no way you were going to let your whole day get ruined by Tagome being busy.

 Kotoha links her arm through yours while pocketing her keys. "So, what's the plan? Shopping? Movies? We could go to the onsen if you want to really relax."

You consider for a moment. "Shopping sounds great, actually. I need to expand my wardrobe a bit." You pause, remembering your aunt's request. "Oh, and I need to pick up some groceries for my aunt later, but I’ll do that on my way back."

Kotoha nods enthusiastically. "Perfect! I know just the place. There's this cute boutique that opened up recently, lots of clothes!"

As you start walking, Kotoha gives you a sidelong glance. "So... want to tell me about these pancakes and the dumb boy?"

You sigh. "It's Togame," you admit. "We were supposed to have a date but he got a call and ran off. Didn’t even say sorry, just left!” You exaggerate the end of your sentence with a silly face making Kotoha laugh. 

“Just like a man!” She pushed herself into your side, a playful nudge to make you smile, and it worked. 

“Right! Forget men for now, let's talk about fun stuff!” you counter back. 

"Forget men!" Kotoha agrees with a laugh. "Today is all about us. No boy drama allowed!" You nod in full agreement. 

As you walk arm-in-arm down the bustling street, you feel your spirits lifting. The warm sun on your face and Kotoha's cheerful chatter help push thoughts of Togame to the back of your mind.

"So tell me about this boutique," you say, genuinely curious. "What kind of styles do they have?"

Kotoha's eyes light up. "Oh, it's amazing! They have everything from cute sundresses to edgy street style. And the accessories are to die for. I got the cutest pair of earrings there last week."

As she chats about the shop, you find yourself getting excited. It's been a while since you've had a proper shopping trip, and the idea of refreshing your wardrobe made you extremely happy. Plus shopping with a friend made it all the better. 

After several minutes you and Kotoha approach the boutique, your excitement building upon seeing the store. The storefront is charming, with a large display window showcasing mannequins in stylish outfits. A bell chimes softly as you enter, and you're immediately struck by the array of colors and textures surrounding you.

"Wow," you breathe, taking it all in. Racks of clothes line the walls, each section seemingly curated to a different style or mood. In the center of the store, tables display an assortment of accessories - jewelry, scarves, and handbags.

Kotoha grins, clearly pleased by your reaction. "Told you it was amazing. Come on, let's start browsing!"

You follow her lead, running your fingers over soft fabrics and admiring bold patterns. It's been so long since you've done something like this - even back home adult life pulled you away from friends. As you browse through the racks, you find yourself drawn to a section with draped dresses, romantic blouses, and lace. A short pale green dress immediately catches your eye, the fabric displayed delicate floral embroidery,a sweet heart necklace, and sheer sleeves making it look so darling- true princess vibes. 

"Oh, this is so pretty," you say, pulling it out to get a better look.

Kotoha nods approvingly. "That would look great on you. The color would really bring out your eyes."

You hold the dress up to yourself, looking in a nearby mirror. The soft fabric and feminine cut make you feel instantly more graceful.

"You should try it on," Kotoha encourages. "And maybe pair it with..." She scans the accessories, then grabs a wide-brimmed straw hat. "This!" 

You laugh, but take the hat. "Okay, okay. I'll give it a shot."

In the fitting room, you slip on the dress, admiring how the fabric falls around your body. The embroidered flowers add a delicate touch, and when you put on the straw hat, you can't help but smile at your reflection. You look like you're ready for a picnic in a meadow.

"How's it going in there?" Kotoha calls from the next stall over.

"I think I love it," you reply, twirling a bit to see how the skirt moves. "What about you? Find anything good?"

"Oh, you have no idea," Kotoha says with a laugh. "Come on, let's do a little fashion show!"

You step out of the fitting room just as Kotoha emerges from hers. She's wearing a bold red jumpsuit with wide-leg pants and a plunging neckline. A squeal leaves your mouth at the sight of her. She mimics your delight while moving her arms into different flashy poses- you muse how she could easily be a model.

"Oh my god, Kotoha!" you exclaim, your eyes wide. "You look incredible!"

Kotoha grins, striking a dramatic pose. "Right? I feel like I could conquer the world in this."

You circle around her, admiring how the jumpsuit hugs her curves. "You absolutely have to get it. It's perfect for you."

Kotoha turns to look at herself in the full-length mirror, her expression thoughtful. "You think so? It's not too much?"

"Not at all," you assure her. "It's bold and confident, just like you."

She beams at you, then turns her attention to your outfit. "And look at you! That dress is so pretty. You look like a summer fairy or something."

You blush slightly at the compliment, smoothing down the skirt of the dress. You did feel very pretty in this dress. It wasn’t like you didn’t have any confidence but it had been a long time since you got so many complaints, the change was nice- needed. 

"Thanks," you say softly. "I really like it." The thought of Togame’s response did cross your mind, but you blew a quiet raspberry, pushing thoughts of him away. 

"We're definitely getting both of these," Kotoha declares, breaking your internal monologue. 

"No arguments!" She said with a matter of fact tone, not allowing a single second of argument to pass through your lips. You laugh at the steadfast look on her face. 

"Okay, okay. But let's see what else they have first. I want to try on everything!" You were absolutely getting the dress, but there was so much to pick from and you still had a 40 minute walk home. 

For the next hour, you and Kotoha take turns trying on different outfits, offering opinions and encouragement. You find yourself drawn to soft, feminine pieces - flowing skirts, delicate blouses, and dainty jewelry. Kotoha, on the other hand, gravitated towards bolder styles - vibrant colors, sleek lines, including the red jumpsuit and a leopard print midi skirt that looked incredibly chic on her.

As you browse, you come across a section of lingerie. Your eyes linger on a set of black lace underwear. The delicate fabric and intricate pattern make your pulse quicken slightly as you imagine wearing it for Togame. You quickly glance around, making sure Kotoha isn't nearby, before picking up the set to examine it more closely.

"Ooh, what have you got there?" Kotoha's voice makes you jump. You turn to see her grinning mischievously.

"Oh, um, nothing," you stammer, feeling your face flush. "Just looking."

Kotoha raises an eyebrow. "Uh-huh. Sure you were. That wouldn't happen to be for a certain someone, would it?"

You bite your lip, slowly smiling. "Maybe," you admit finally. "Do you think it's too much?” 

“No! If he doesn't like it on you, he isn’t worth it!” You chuckle then double check for the right sizing, and the overall stretch of the material. With a nod you put them in your arms and smiled at Kotoha. 

“What else do we need?” You questioned, your arms spilling over with fabric. She giggled, pulling you along to more of the store. With a mischievous grin she leads you to another area of the lingerie section. "Well, if we're shopping for sexy, we might as well go all out," she says with a wink.

You followed her,excitement clear on your face. Kotoha stops in front of a display of silky robes and negligees.

"Every girl needs a good robe," she says, running her hand over a deep burgundy silk robe. "It's perfect for those mornings after..." she trails off suggestively, wiggling her eyebrows at you.

You laugh, pushing her shoulder. "Kotoha!"

"What? I'm just saying," she giggles. "Plus, they're super comfortable. Here, try this one on."

She hands you a soft, pale pink robe but your eye catches a flash of orange. A soft pale orange robe reminds you of his jacket, and sherbert. “Hmm, I’m going to try the orange!”

“That’s a bold color.” You take the orange robe from the rack, admiring the soft, silky material. "I know, but I really like it," you say with a smile. "It reminds me of..." you trail off, not wanting to mention Togame explicitly.

Kotoha gives you a knowing look. "Of someone's favorite color perhaps?" she teases gently.

You blush but nod. "Something like that," you admit. "Is that weird?"

"Not at all," Kotoha reassures you. "It's cute that you want something that reminds you of him. Plus, orange is a great color on you."

You head to the fitting room to try on the robe. As you slip it on over your clothes, you can't help but admire how the soft fabric feels against your skin. The color is warm and flattering, and you can easily imagine lounging in this on a lazy morning.

You emerge from the fitting room, feeling a mix of shy and excited. "What do you think?" you ask Kotoha, doing a little twirl.

Kotoha's eyes widened appreciatively. "That looks amazing on you! Orange is hard to pull off, you make it look easy." She circles around you, examining the robe from all angles. "And the fit is perfect. You have to get it."

You smile, running your hands over the silky fabric. "I think I will. It feels so nice."

"He won't be able to keep his hands off you in that," Kotoha says with a wink.

You bite the inside of your cheek, but can't help grinning at the thought. "That's the plan," you admit sheepishly.

After shimming off the robe you scoop everything into your arms again, adding the robe to the large pile of purchases. As you and Kotoha make your way to the front. She didn’t know yet but the few items she had put back due to the price were stuffed under your other purchases. Today you were going to treat a friend!

As she placed her items down you also slapped your stuff down, nudging her aside. The sudden shift of all the items on the counter mixing together makes Kotoha's eyes widen in surprise. 

"Wait, what are you doing?" she asks, looking confused. You smile, gently pushing her hand away as she reaches for her wallet. "It's my treat today, remember? I said I'd pay for everything."

Her rebuttal follows immediately, her arms flailing out to stop you. "But... that's too much! I can't let you do that."

"Yes, you can," you insist, already handing your credit card to the cashier. "You've been such an amazing friend since I got here. Let me do this for you."

Kotoha looks torn between gratitude and guilt. "Are you sure? It's really not necessary..."

"I'm absolutely sure," you say firmly. "Plus, I had too, you looked too amazing in some of these, it would have been a crime to leave them."

Kotoha still looks unsure, but a smile starts to spread across her face. "You're really something else, you know that?" she says, shaking her head in disbelief. "Thank you. Seriously."

You grin, feeling a warm glow of happiness at being able to do something nice for your friend. "You're welcome. Now, no more arguments. Let's finish up here and go get some lunch. I'm starving!"

As the cashier rings up your purchases, you can't help but feel a little thrill at the pile of new clothes and accessories. It's been ages since you've treated yourself like this, and doing it with a friend makes it even more special.

Once everything was bagged up correctly, you and Kotoha waddled out of the store, arms laden with shopping bags. The sun is high in the sky now, and the streets are bustling with lunchtime crowds.You stand at the side of the store, shifting your bags one last time with a smile. The weight of them reminds you of the fun morning you've had with Kotoha, trying on clothes and laughing together. It's been exactly what you needed today. 

"So, where should we go for lunch?" Kotoha asks, also adjusting her grip on her bags. "There's a great little ramen place around the corner, or we could try that new fusion restaurant that just opened up."

You consider for a moment, then grin. "You know what? I'm in the mood for something indulgent. How about we go for dessert first? I saw a cute crepe stand a few blocks back."

Kotoha's eyes light up. "Ooh, I like the way you think!”

You and Kotoha make your way through the busy streets, chatting and laughing as you go. As you approach the crepe stand, the sweet aroma of freshly cooked batter fills the air. Your mouth waters at the sight of the colorful display of fruits, chocolates, and whipped cream.

"Oh my god, everything looks amazing," Kotoha groans, her eyes scanning the menu. "How are we supposed to choose?"

You laugh, feeling the same dilemma. "Maybe we should get two different ones and share?" you suggest.

Kotoha nods enthusiastically. "Perfect! I'm thinking... strawberry and chocolate for me. What about you?"

You ponder for a moment, then decide “Blueberry and tangerine looks amazing!”

Kotoha nods approvingly at your choice. "Ooh, that does sound good! I love how they combine flavors here."

You place your orders, watching in fascination as the crepe maker expertly spreads the batter on the hot circular griddle, then fills and folds each crepe with practiced ease. The finished crepes are works of art, piled high with fresh fruit, drizzled with sauce, and topped with a perfect swirl of whipped cream.

"These look almost too pretty to eat," you say as you accept your crepe, the paper wrapping warm in your hands.

Kotoha laughs, already taking a big bite of hers. "Almost," she agrees, her voice muffled. "But not quite!"

You find a nearby bench to sit on, carefully balancing your shopping bags at your feet. The first bite is heavenly - the crepe is perfectly crisp on the outside and soft on the inside, the fruit fresh and juicy, and the cream adds just the right amount of sweetness.

"Oh my god," Kotoha moans around a mouthful of strawberry and chocolate. "This is amazing."

You nod, unable to speak as you savor your own crepe. "So," Kotoha says as playing with a strawberry, "are you feeling better now? You seemed pretty down when you first arrived." You weren’t prepared for her question, but it made you so happy Kotoha had taken the first step to be friends- you needed her so much. 

You nod, a small smile playing on your lips. "Yeah, I am. Thanks for dropping everything to hang out with me. I really needed this."

Kotoha bumps her shoulder against yours playfully. "That's what friends are for. And hey, retail therapy always helps, right?"

You laugh, nodding in agreement. "Definitely. Plus, it's nice to just have a normal day, you know? No drama, no complications. Just shopping and crepes." You both laugh in sync then dive back into the decadent desserts. 

Upon scarfing down the last of the crepes, you realize the afternoon has slipped away. The sun is starting to dip in the sky, casting a warm glow over the bustling streets and longer shadows.

"I should probably head home soon," you say with a sigh, reluctant to end this carefree day. "I promised my aunt I'd pick up some groceries for her."

Kotoha nods, stretching her arms above her head. "Yeah, I should get going too. My brother will probably be wondering where I am." She gives you a warm smile. "Thanks again for today. It was really fun."

You stand up, gathering your shopping bags. "Thank you for coming out with me. We need to do it again!" As you hug goodbye, Kotoha gives you a knowing look. "And if you ever need to talk just message me! You don’t have to buy me things in order to hang out.” 

You nod gratefully. "I will, thanks Kotoha."

With one final wave, you both part ways. As you make your way to the grocery store, you can't help but glance at your phone. You haven't received any texts throughout the day, even from your parents. It shouldn’t have made you feel instantly lonely- but it did. With a quick head shake you focused on the next task, grocery shopping. There was a store you didn’t get a chance to visit often because it was out of the way. Seemed ideal to just get your shopping done all at once before crossing under the tunnel. 

At the store, you quickly gather the items your aunt requested - daikon, carrots, and eggs. As you browse the aisles, you pick up a few extra things, wanting to cook a nice dinner for your aunt. Once upon the candy aisle you struggled and failed to leave some chocolate bars behind. 

With  loaded shopping bags and groceries, you finally turn your body towards the direction of the tunnel. 

Togame’s POV

Togame strode quickly through the streets, already annoyed with the information he had just received. The call had come from one of his men stationed near the border of Shishitoren territory. There had been another incident - this time, a direct confrontation between some of his men and someone claiming to be from Bofurin. If all reports were to be believed, a low ranked Bofurin had stolen drugs when he didn’t have money due to sudden increases.

As he approached the scene, Togame could see the tension in the air. A small crowd had gathered inside the tunnel, while a few civilians were urged away by some of his men. In the center, two groups faced off - his own men, one completely knocked out- it looked like Saruwatari, and a very familiar group of Bofurin men in green jackets.

"Boss," one of his men called out as Togame approached. "These guys showed up out of nowhere, started causing trouble. They're saying they're from Bofurin, but..."

Togame “Of course they are.” Togame paused, looking them all over. “Hiragi-chan, hey there.” He waved casually, his ramune marble clinking to the rhythm of his arm.

Hiragi stepped forward from the group of Bofurin men. Togame honestly respected Hiragi greatly, he would even  go so far to say he liked him, but something about his current demeanor seemed off, making Togame suspicious of his presence.

"Togame-san," Hiragi said, his voice tight. "There seems to be some misunderstanding here. Your men are accusing us of theft."

Togame's eyes narrowed slightly, his casual demeanor not quite masking the sharpness of his gaze. "Is that so?” He shifted his glasses, removing the orange tint from his vision. He looked over them all: Hiragi Toma, Haruka Sakura, Hayato Suo, Akihiko Nirei, Kyotaro Sugishita, that left one he didn’t know- hiding behind Hayato along with Akihiko. Considering what he knew about them all he guessed the no name was the thief.

“What did he take?" Togame questioned, not looking back. “3’n half grams of rock.” Yukinari responded instantly.

Hiragi shifted uncomfortably, his eyes darting to the side for a moment. "Look, he is sick. We can make it right. "

"Wasn’t it a misunderstanding?" Togame bounced back, his tone laced with jest. "Yet now you're offering to 'make it right'? Which is it, Hiragi-chan?" A foul smile crept to his lips, it was fun fucking with Bofurin when ever he got the chance. Hiragi opened his mouth to respond, but Togame cut him off with a sudden gesture.

"Relax," Togame offered slowly- though it had a dangerous edge. His gaze swept over the group of Bofurin men, lingering on the unfamiliar face partially hidden behind Sou. 

"Give it back,and I'll call it square." It was an incredibly generous offer all things considered, but he honestly didn’t want to get into a huge bawl over an 8 ball. This entire week had been filled with annoying shit, and he didn’t want another meeting about an insignificant amount of cocaine. He could practically hear Choji in his mind demanding a full gang brawl to settle the score and the thought made him exhausted. Hiragi nodded to Togame, relief washing over his features. Just as Hiragi turned to the thief, Saruwatari leapt to life- shattering the quiet Togame had worked so hard to get.

“Enough of the games punk! There are rules, you are not supposed to interfere on our turf!” Our turf? That was rich, this fucker had embarassed himself infront in serval people, and then had the adacity to talk like he was still allowed to stay.

The sound of shattering glass echoed through the tunnel as Togame brought the ramune bottle down on Saruwatari's head. The man crumpled to the ground wordlessly, blood beginning to seep through his thick hair. For a moment, Togame was curious about which broke first, the bottle or Saruwatari’s head, but it was a bit unclear due to all his hair.

"I hate interruptions," Togame said calmly, adjusting his glasses as he turned back to Hiragi.

"Please, continue." It was clearly an order, one that Hiragi bristled at. The tension in the air was palpable as everyone stared in shock at Saruwatari's motionless form. Hiragi swallowed hard, his eyes darting between Togame and his fallen man.

"Right," Hiragi said, his voice displaying discomfort. He turned to the unfamiliar man hiding behind Hayato- shaking. "Hand it over. Now."

“Hey Toma, what are you-” that was a voice Togame would recognize anywhere. He watched in confusion as his favorite person rounded the corner, saying Hiragi’s name with incredible familiarity. 

Everything seemed to take on a red hue through his orange sunglasses. 

Your POV

You heard the commotion before you saw it. Several of the Furin boys were much taller than you so you stood at Suo’s back wondering what was going on. You had hesitated, not wanting to get in the way of a shuffle but when you heard your cousin's voice you stepped around Suo who looked shocked to see you.

“Hey Toma, what are you-” Your body stilled, your eyes landing on Togame.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. 

This couldn’t be how it happened. 

Why was this happening? 

Your mind was breaking down, trying to rationalize the scene you stepped into. Your two worlds were colliding too fast, this wasn’t supposed to happen. So why were you staring into Togame’s eyes- drowning? The tide washed in around your feet, beckoning you to him even though no words had been spoken, the memory of his voice was enough. Swear. Only mine. They rang in your head, blocking out all noise. 

If you could have heard anything, it would have been the shouting for you to stay back, your name, questions- but you couldn’t hear them. You couldn’t hear, or feel the bags in your hands slipping free, falling to the concrete- completely forgotten. All you could process was Togame’s hand outreached to you. The tide at your knees now pulling you into the depths. He hadn’t spoken, at least you didn’t think so. Your arm outreached to him, your fingered brushed against his. For a moment everything was serene but just as quick the lethal waters of Togame Jo pulled at you, dragging your under. 

Togame’s hand pulled you into him hard, causing you to trip into his body, which he seemed to barely register. He held you in place firmly against his body- the position leaving you arched painfully, head tilted back- looking at only him. Your mind was completely hazy, it wasn’t for the lack of thinking, you were so deep in panicked thoughts that it felt impossible to even blink. Everything felt too hot, his heat was suffocating you, the shouting was blurry, but a few things broke through your fog.

“She has nothing to do with this” your cousin shouted, others echoing the sentiment. 

“Nothing?” a humorless laugh filled the tunnel, while you stare up at him still shell shocked.

Togame drew out each word slowly. “She's mine.” More chaos erupted outside your view of Togame. 

“Tell them,” Togame whispered, his finger gripping your chin then firmly turning your head to look at your cousin, and new friends. Your mouth opened, breaking Toma Hiragi’s heart.

“I’m his,” you breathed out, eyes glassy- unfocused. 

“There you have it, Hiragi-chan,” Togame smiled. If it could be counted as such, it lacked any warmth you normally saw him carry on his lips. No this was a venom filled smile, daring Toma to act, begging him to knock over the first domino. 

Your chin was still held in place, looking at your cousin’s face- burning his disbelieving stare into your mind. The look Toma gave you was one you’d never seen, on anyone. Was there a word stronger than anguish? Was he crying? No, maybe he was just red with anger. Your mind couldn’t translate Toma but one emotion was clear- pain. 

Togame pulled your chin back to him roughly, his eyes locking with yours. Still no words had been spoken between the two of you. You didn’t even think it was possible to speak anymore, if your mouth opened only screams would come out. 

“Time to go,” Togame looked back to your cousin, now frowning. 

“Tunnel is closed,” he adjusted his lenses “Tell Hajime to call me.” 

“Hey, wait! She is my cousin-” Togame held up a hand. “Tunnel is closed, make sure they leave.” Togame stated to the two beside him, tossing one of them the spare jacket ripped off earlier. 

Togame dislodged you from his body, the space was more painful than his grip moments ago. He turned, not offering you his arm, and started to walk away. You choked a cry down and rushed after him, staying a step behind- not touching him. No one followed. 

You trailed after Togame in tense silence, your mind reeling from everything that just happened. The shock of seeing him there, of your two worlds colliding so abruptly, left you feeling numb and disoriented. You could still see the look of betrayal on Toma's face, and hear the chaos that erupted when Togame claimed you as his in the front of your mind.

Togame's stride was purposeful, his back rigid as he led you through unfamiliar streets. His pace was a struggle to keep pace with, your legs shaky and your breath coming in short gasps. Part of you wanted to reach out, to grab his hand and make him slow down, to talk- maybe beg, but the cold fury radiating off him keeps you at a distance.

After what feels like an eternity, Togame stopped in front of a huge building. Some of the characters were missing from the building logo but you were able to read “Orion Stars”, it looked like an old opera theater.

You stand frozen, staring up at the imposing facade of the Orion Stars building. The faded grandeur of the old opera theater covered in graffiti feels oddly fitting for this surreal moment. Togame doesn't look back as he strides through the entrance, leaving you no choice but to follow quickly.

Inside, the lobby is dimly lit, with plush carpets muffling your footsteps. Ornate moldings and tarnished mirrors line the walls, giving glimpses of your ashen, shell-shocked face as you pass. Togame leads you down a long hallway rowed with several doors, with several doors closing as open upon seeing Togame coming.

Your mind races, trying to make sense of everything. Panic swirls in your head, making you dizzy. A voice in the back of your head begged you to run. You had a feeling that if you ran, he wouldn’t follow and that thought alone broke your heart. 

Finally, Togame stops in front of a heavy wooden door. He opens the door, revealing a spacious office. Dark wood paneling lined the walls, while a large desk dominates the center of the room. He strides in, leaving you hovering uncertainty in the doorway.

"Close the door," he says, his voice low. You hesitate for a moment before stepping inside and shutting the door behind you with a soft click. The sound feels oddly final, trapping you in this tense moment. Togame moves to the front of a desk, leaning against it as he finally turns to face you. His green eyes are hard, filled with scrutiny as they scan you. The silence stretches between you, thick with unspoken words and accusations.

"Sit," he says at last, his tone somehow sounding casual- pointing to the chair in front of him. 

You sluggishly shift forward, your legs feeling unsteady beneath you. You reach the chair in front of Togame's desk, sinking into it ungracefully. The plush leather feels painfully cold against your feverish skin.

Togame watches you silently, his gaze intense- a conversation brewing in his mind. You can feel the weight of his examination, and it takes all your willpower not to squirm under it. The silence stretches on, oppressive and suffocating. The waters raging around you, pulling warmth from your body. 

Finally, Togame speaks, his voice cold. "How long have you known?"

You swallow hard, your mouth suddenly dry. "Known what?" you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

Togame's eyes narrow slightly. "Don't play dumb.” you flinch away “How long have you known that your cousin was in Bofurin?" a dry laugh escaped him “Not only that, but one of the Four Kings.” 

You take a shaky breath, trying to gather your strength. “I was trying to tell you this morning, at the cafe.”

Togame's face darkens, your words clearly agitating him. "This morning," he repeats, his voice uncomfortably soft. "And how long before that, did you know?"

You fidget in your seat, your heart racing. "When I met some of Toma's friends at the cafe a few days ago, but I don’t know what you mean by Fourth King." You hadn’t spoken to him about anything related to his affiliations, but now you were curious what that meant.

Togame watches you intently, his green eyes searching your face for any sign of deception. 

"And you didn't think to mention this sooner?"

"I wanted to!" you exclaim, your voice cracking slightly. "But everything happened so fast, and I didn't know how to bring it up. I was going to tell you this morning at breakfast, but then you got called away..."

Togame's jaw clenches at the reminder of the interrupted breakfast. He pushes off from the desk, beginning to pace slowly in front of you.

"You've known for days that your cousin is part of Bofurin, and you said nothing," his nose flares as he thinks, "Do you have any idea how compromising that is?" nearly shouting. 

You flinch at the anger in his tone. "I'm sorry," you whisper, tears pricking at your eyes. "I didn't mean to hide it from you. I was just... I was scared. I didn't know what to do or say."

Togame stops pacing, fixing you with an intense stare. "Scared of what, exactly? Of me? Or of losing your precious cousin?"

The accusation in his voice makes your chest tighten, but the question strikes you harder than a fist ever could. "No," you admit quietly. "I knew who I’d lose,” Tears began to flow over the apples of your cheek as you recalled Toma’s expression, the heartbreak.

Your admission hangs in the air between you. Something small shifts in his stance, a flicker of something - surprise, perhaps, or uncertainty but they pass. His features harden against the tears streaming down your face. It was a firm reminder that you were still in the raging tides of Togame Jo. 

"Yet you kept it from me," he says, controlled but failing to fully mask the spite. "Never bothering to think of the risks." he fumed, feet beginning to pace in front of you again. For a short moment he looks nothing like the man who held you so close, but a tiger- plotting on a small stretch of dirt. 

You nod, tears still flowing freely down your cheeks, your voice is gone. Your pleas stop on your tongue, afraid your desperation for forgiveness would disgust him further. Togame takes a moment to run a hand through his hair, a gesture of frustration makes him look suddenly more human, less like the intimidating yakuza boss he was.

 "What exactly did you think was going to happen?" he asks, his tone slightly less harsh. 

"Thought you could just keep these two parts of your life separate forever?" he follows up, sounding incredulous. 

You shake your head, your voice struggling. "No, I..." you trail off, unsuccessfully finding the words needed to fix everything. "I guess I was hoping for more time. To figure things out, to find a way to tell you both without... without losing everything." you finally spill out- your heart doing the same. Togame's expression softens slightly at the raw vulnerability in your voice. He moves back in front of you, towering over your shaking frame. 

"Look at me," he says, his tone closer to his normal pitch. Your tear-stained face meets his gaze. His green eyes are still intense, but some of the anger has faded, replaced by something more complex.

"You need to understand something," Togame says, his seriousness pulling your attention away from your woes. "This isn't just about you and me, or you and your cousin.The balance between Shishitoren and Bofurin is... delicate.”

You nod slowly, trying to process Togame's words through the haze of emotions swirling within you. "I understand," you say softly, your voice still shaky. "I never meant to complicate things."

Togame sighs, some of the tension leaving his shoulders. He reaches out, gently brushing a tear from your cheek with his thumb. The tender gesture makes your breath hitch and your head press into him, craving more of Togame- however he would give it.

"I know," he says, his voice back to normal. "But intentions don't matter in this world. Actions do. Keeping secrets is dangerous." his voice was flat, sounding tired- like someone struggling with conflicting emotions. 

"What happens now?" you ask struggling to not break out into sobs. Suddenly the idea of an incoming rejection is enough to shatter the tentative stability you had found in his palm. 

Togame's hand lingers on your face for a moment before he pulls it away, hands leaning on the desk. "Now, we need to be very careful," he says. "Your connection to both sides makes you valuable.”

You looked up confused- missing his touch. “What, why?” He stared down at you, his expression a mix of frustration and something softer- like he was finally remembering you were a normal civilian. 

"Because now you're a part of two powerful factions. Many will see you as a potential weakness to exploit." he trails off, his jaw clenching.

Your eyes widen as the implications of his words sink in. "I would never betray you," you say quickly. "I chose..." you stop, heart aching at your own declaration. 

A ghost of a smile flickers across Togame's face. "I know," he says softly. "That’s not it. You’re a weakness to exploit, for both groups. And my own people..." he sighs, the tense showing in his drooping shoulders. How much did he have to carry alone? 

"Your own people what?" you ask, fear creeping into your voice.

Togame's eyes met yours, his stare was intense just like it was in the tunnel. 

"Many will see you as a liability." he finally states, the implication was mind boggling to you. You didn’t know anything about either of them, and you certainly weren’t worth anything. 

You swallow hard, trying to process everything. "What does that mean?"

Togame is quiet for a moment, his expression thoughtful. "It means we need to be careful," he says finally. "Your movements will need to be monitored, for your own safety. And we'll need to establish some ground rules about contact with your cousin."

Your heart sinks at his words. "You want to control who I see and talk to?" you ask, unable to keep the hurt from your voice. It also sounded insane- controlling in a way you couldn’t process at the moment. 

“Yes.” Shocked, you stare at Togame, his response unreasonably blunt all things considered. 

"But... Toma is my family, what about my friends?" you plead. "I can't just cut them out of my life completely." He reaches out, gently tilting your chin up to meet his eyes.

 "Not entirely," he offers, like that would make you feel better. "But we need to be smart about this. Every interaction with them is a potential risk."

"For how long?" you ask, your voice small. You didn’t understand how you got to this point- how even now you wanted to do as he said. 

"For as long as necessary," he says flatly. "Not ideal, but it's for their protection as well. People are likely already talking about today." He pinches the bridge of his nose, clearing trying to think over some grand plan. You nod slowly, tears welling up again as the reality of your situation sinks in. The weight of everything - the restrictions, the demands, the conflicting loyalties -  it was crushing.

"I understand," you say softly, your voice shaky. "I'll do what you think is best." It felt like an automated response, but didn’t feel entirely uncomfortable despite your shaking body. You would do whatever he said, whatever it took to gain his trust again. 

"You won't lose me," he says suddenly, clearly able to read your mind from the look on your face. "But you need to understand that things are different now. The rules have changed."

You nod, leaning into his touch. "I understand.” It's a whisper, but it's all you can manage while being so focused on his hand. Togame's hand lingers on your face for a moment before he pulls away. He moves to sit behind his desk, suddenly looking weary.

"We'll discuss the specifics of how to handle this situation," he says, his tone businesslike. "But not right now. It's been a long day." You nod, feeling emotionally drained.

 "What happens now?" you ask hesitantly.

Togame regards you for a moment. "You’ll go to my room for now." Your eyes widen slightly. 

"Here? In this building?"

He nods. "Yukinari." His voice was loud enough for someone outside the door to open it, though you still flinched at the volume- still raw from earlier. The man from the tunnel stood there, waiting.

“Take her to my room,” He gestures to you while moving several piles of papers in front of him.

You follow Yukinari out of Togame's office, your mind still reeling from everything that's happened. The hallways of the Orion Stars building feel like a maze. You struggle to keep track of the twists and turns as Yukinari leads you deeper into the building. It became clear they had renovated the interior while keeping the outside disheveled. It seemed odd on the surface but it was something you’d ask about later. 

Finally, he stops in front of a door, producing a key from his pocket. "Togame-san's room," he says gruffly, unlocking the door and stepping aside to let you enter.

You step inside apprehensively, taking in your surroundings. The room is spacious but sparsely furnished, with a large bed covering one wall and a small sitting area near the window with a full length mirror, and bamboo clothing rack with several outfits hanging neatly, a book shelf- stuff to the brim, and a lone dresser. Everything is immaculately clean and organized, it almost felt bizarre to stand in considering the hallways run down appearance. 

Yukinari clears his throat behind you. "Bathroom's through there," he says, gesturing to a door on the far wall.

"Togame-san will be in later." He states coldly leaving you to nod back, not trusting your voice. Yukinari gives you one last appraising look before stepping out, closing the door behind him. The soft click of the lock engaging makes your stomach drop, so this wasn’t a friendly room tour afterall.

Left alone, the events of the day come crashing down on you. You sink onto the edge of the bed, your legs suddenly unable to support you any longer. Tears well up in your eyes as the past few hours replay over and over again. Each time their voices get harsher, crueler, and louder.

Your cousin's face flashes in your mind - the look of betrayal and hurt when you admit to being with Togame. The thought of never seeing him again, of cutting ties with the friends you've made, filled you with an unbearable ache. But the thought of losing Togame had felt like an impossibility, it didn’t even cross your mind to not pick him in the moment. Despite his anger and the harsh reality he laid out, you couldn’t deny- you still wanted him above all else.

Your gaze drifts to the window, taking in the fading daylight. How long have you been here? It felt like forever since the confrontation in the tunnel, though it could have been a mere hour. Time had lost all meaning.

With shaking hands, you pull out your phone. No messages or missed calls. You wonder if Toma would even try to reach you, or if Kotoha had heard about the events- would she block you? The thought of her shocked face, wondering how much you lied about, sends a fresh wave of guilt through you. You should text her, let her know you're okay, but what would you even say?

Your fingers hover over the screen, but you can't find the energy to text anyone.

TOGAME’S POV

What a fucking terrible day. Togame sat at his desk, squeezing the bridge of his nose as he tried to process everything. The revelation about her connection to Hiragi Toma had thrown him completely off balance. He prided himself on always being a few steps ahead, on knowing every player in the game. But this he hadn't seen coming.

His mind replayed the scene in the tunnel over and over. The way she had looked at him, eyes wide with fear and something else - a touch of arousal, perhaps? The memory of her voice, soft but clear, as she declared herself “his” in front of everyone made his ego run wild- in a way he wasn't entirely comfortable with. While Togame wasn’t shy about his domineering personality, the devilish pleasure he had taken from humiliating the both of them in that moment was a bit out of step- even for him. Togame knew he shouldn't have humiliated her like that, or shouldn't have taken such immense pleasure in watching Hiragi's face crumple- but he did.

He also couldn't deny the possessive lust that had run through him when he claimed her in front of Hiragi and Bofurin’s top men. The way she had melted into him, submitting completely despite her obvious conflict. If he had focused on her body any longer in that moment, he fucked her against the vending machine- thrilled with the audience. It stirred something primal in him, a desire to mark her as his in every way possible. It wasn’t lost on him that she had covered up his markings- something to get fixed.

With a frustrated huff, Togame pushed his sexual frustrations aside. He needed to focus on the practical matters at hand. How to handle this situation without compromising Shishitoren's power or putting her at unnecessary risk. Togame's jaw clenched as he thought about the implications of her connection to Bofurin. She was a liability now, a potential weakness that could be exploited by both sides. And yet he’d be a fool to ignore his new found leverage- at least from a business perspective.

There would be those in his organization who would see her as a threat to be eliminated. He'd need to make it clear that she was valuable, and under his protection. But he also couldn't appear to dismiss Choji entirely if he was vocally against her being around. It was no secret that Togame practically ran the entire organization alone, but loyalty was not something he lacked, Choji was the leader.

Togame thought carefully on the delicate balancing act ahead. He'd need to assert his authority while still maintaining loyalty to Choji- who would likely disapprove. It was a dance he'd performed many times before, but never with such personal stakes.

His thoughts drifted back to her, sitting alone in his room. The vulnerability in her eyes as she looked up at him, tears streaming down her face had bothered him. He wasn't used to feeling protective over anyone but himself- it was exhausting.

With a sigh, Togame pushed back from his desk. He'd been sitting here long enough, turning the situation over in his mind. It was time to face her again, to start laying out the new rules of their relationship.

A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts. "Enter," he called out, straightening up in his chair.

Yukinari stepped into the office, his expression carefully neutral. "Boss, the Bofurin group has left the area as instructed.” He paused dread rolling off of him. “Choji-sama is headed this way.” Togame nodded his thanks without speaking.

He had seconds to settle back into his relaxed posture when the door burst open again, Choji striding in with barely contained hysterics. His eyes swept the room before landing on Togame, who remained seemingly unfazed behind his desk.

"What the hell is going on?" Choji demanded with a dangerous edge. "You let them walk away after stealing from us? And what's this I hear about some girl?"

Togame met Choji's enraged stare with unflinching casualness. "The situation was handled, Choji. Escalating things further would have been unless."

Choji's eyes narrowed. "Useless? Since when do we let thieves walk away without consequences?" He slammed his hands on the desk, leaning into Togame’s space. "And don't think I didn't notice you avoiding the question about the girl. Who is she?"

Togame remained steadfast, looking at Choji with unmasked menace. “She is mine.” He stated as though it was obvious as the weather.

Choji's eyes narrowed dangerously at Togame's casual response. "Yours?" he spat. "What the hell does that mean? And how does she fit into all this?"

Togame leaned back in his chair, his posture easy going but his eyes sharp. "It means exactly what I said. She's mine. And as it turns out, she's also Hiragi Toma's cousin."

Choji's face contorted in disbelief. "Hiragi's cousin?" a guttural laugh left Choji’s lips. "Are you kidding me? You've been fucking a Bofurin bitch this whole time?" Togame's expression shifted ever so slightly, a baneful glint filling his eyes.

"Don’t be unnecessary." Togame said coolly. "I've already taken steps to contain the situation."

Choji paced the room, running a hand through his hair in agitation. "Contain it? How?”

Togame's eyes followed Choji as he paced like a wild cat, a smile growing- he’d won even if Choji didn’t know it.

"She's here, in the building. Under my supervision." Togame chuckled loudly, the statement was just to annoy him, a small dig since his girl got called a bitch. It didn’t help him at all but he wanted Choji to know- there was a line, and Togame was on the other side waiting. 

Choji whirled to face him. "Here? You brought her into our headquarters?" His voice rose in disbelief and anger.

"It's the safest place for her right now," Togame replied calmly. "And the best way to keep an eye on her."

Choji slammed his hands on the desk again, leaning in close to Togame's face. "Are you out of your mind? She's a liability, a potential spy for Bofurin. We should be eliminating the threat, not inviting it into our home!"

Togame's patience was at the brink of collapse, but his voice remained level. "She's not a spy, Choji. She's an asset."

"An asset?" echoed back, disbelief obvious in Choji’s tone.  

“Yes.” Togame paused, he did not want this to be the only reason Choji bowed out of the fight, but it would have to do. “She is related to one of the Four Kings, we can use that to get better terms with Bofurin. Plus I didn’t demand blood from their thief. We have been wasting money having our runners go around their territory, if they can go through we can cut down on costs considerably.”

Choji's eyes narrowed as he considered Togame's words. The tension in the room was palpable as the two men stared each other down.

"An asset," Choji repeated slowly, his tone laced with skepticism. "And you think Bofurin will just roll over, and let us use their territory because we have Hiragi's cousin?"

Togame leaned back in his chair. "Not immediately, no. But it gives us leverage we didn't have before. A bargaining chip."

Choji scoffed. "A bargaining chip that could easily backfire. What's to stop her from feeding information back to Bofurin?"

"She won't," Togame said firmly. "She's chosen her side." Venom pooled in his stomach. The thought of you picking someone else nearly made his crafted calm demeanor fall away- he wanted to yell at Choji. Anyone would know her loyalties just upon looking at her in his arms- she was his. 

Choji raised an eyebrow. "And you trust her word on that?”

“Yes, and I’m asking you to trust me. As you did when you took over.”

Choji's expression twisted oddly- a mixture of disdain and satisfaction. The reference to his ascension to leadership was a sore point for Choji- they both knew the driving force behind Choji taking over was a shallow desire for excitement, and that much of Shishitoren's current success was due to Togame's strategic mind.

"Fine," Choji said after a long moment, his voice tight with contained frustration. "She can stay for now. But I want her to be watched at all times. And if there's even a hint that she's feeding information to Bofurin..." Choji was now walking away, clearly tired of dealing with this situation. 

"There won't be," Togame cut him off firmly.

Choji's eyes narrowed. "See to that. And Togame?" He paused at the door, fixing a hard stare in Togame’s direction. "Don't let your dick cloud your judgment. Shishitoren comes first.”

Togame's jaw clamped tight at Choji's parting words. "Of course," he said coolly. "Shishitoren always comes first." he added with practiced pitch. 

As the door closed behind Choji, Togame let out a slow breath. The conversation had gone about as well as he could have hoped, but he knew this was far from over. Choji would be watching closely, looking for any sign of weakness or betrayal. Togame stood, straightening his jacket as he moved towards the door.

It was time to deal with the other half of this equation.

The walk to his room felt longer than usual, his mind racing with all the implications of the day's events. When he reached the door, he paused for a moment, steeling himself before entering. He had a lot of information to get out, rules to put in place. None of it would be fun to say, or for her to hear. 

Togame entered the room, his full height ready to control every inch of space in the room until eyes red stained stared back at him. All words he was ready to brandish- even minor threats about disobedience evaporated instantly.She was so much trouble for him and didn’t even know it.

Your POV

You sat up quickly as Togame entered the room, hastily wiping at your tear-stained cheeks. The sight of him sends a confusing mix of emotions through you - relief, fear, longing. His silence fills you with panic but no words leave your open mouth. 

Togame's eyes scan over you, taking in your disheveled appearance. His expression is unreadable as he moves further into the room, closing the door behind him.

"Have you been crying this whole time?" he asks, his tone softer than you expected.

You shake your head, unable to meet his gaze. "Not the whole time." you mumble. 

You swallow, trying to voice out your fears without exposing your tender spots. "I don't know how to move forward," you admit honestly. 

Togame nods slowly, moving to sit on the edge of the bed beside you. The closeness of him makes your heart race, but you resist the urge to lean into him, unsure of where you stand.

"I know," he says quietly. "This isn't an ideal" You nod without speaking, still staring at your hands in worry. Togame reaches out, gently tilting your chin up to meet his gaze. His green eyes are intense as ever while they search your face.

"I meant what I said," his voice low. "You won't lose me. But things are going to have to change."

You nod, leaning into his touch. "I understand," you nearly moan out. "I'll listen." the vow absentmindedly spills from your lips. A ghost of a smile flickers across Togame's face.

 "That’s my girl," he murmurs, his thumb brushing your cheek. The praise sends a throb through you, despite everything.

"For now, you'll go home," Togame continues, his tone businesslike again. "It's safe enough with a guard."

You nod again, trying to ignore your growing desire for his touch . "A guard?” You ask, instantly wanting to protest something so silly, but you didn’t have the energy. He nods back before leaning back onto his bed, exhaling slowly.

“I have an idea already. He is loyal, quiet, and a good defensive fighter.” Togame’s eyes were closed but he popped one open with a sly smile. “And he isn’t partial to women.” 

“You’re joking.” you deadpan. You didn’t mind he was gay at all, just weirded out that he would bring it up. He lets out a light laugh “Not at all, and I think you’ll get along. Kauro something or other.” 

“Kaoru Something, you don’t even member his name but pick him as a guard for me?” 

Togame chuckles softly at your indignation. "Aoyama Kaoru. I think." He laughs before speaking  a touch more firmly "He's trustworthy, and he'll keep you safe without complicating things."

You nod slowly, processing his words. "So what exactly does having a guard mean? Will he follow me everywhere?" Having a guard sounded ridiculous, there was no way Togame thought you’d be in enough danger to need protection. 

Togame props up on his elbows, his posture stiff as he explains. "Not everywhere, not inside your aunt's home, but any outings." Your eye arched, so he did mean everywhere. 

You bite your lip, considering this. It feels strange to think about having someone watching over you constantly, but you wouldn’t fight him on it unless it became overbearing. 

"Okay," you say softly- worried. "And when I visit Toma or Kotoha?" Togame's expression hardens slightly at the mention of Toma and Kotoha. "Those visits will need to be approved by me." he says not leaving any room for arguments. "Any interaction with Bofurin members needs to be approved by me, understood?"

You nod, trying to hide your disappointment. "I understand. But I can still see them sometimes, right?"

Togame is quiet for a moment, studying your face. "Yes," he says finally, falling back to the bed. 

"But not often, and always with supervision. We'll need to establish some ground rules."

You let out a small sigh of relief. "Thank you," you say softly. "I’m sorry for all the trouble." Togame's body relaxes into the bed. His fingers reach out, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear humming in response, his energy clearly running out.

In a moment of boldness, and desperation you hook your leg over his wide waist. Your bottom nested comfortably on his groin, while his hands flew up to your hips automatically as his eyes snapped open in surprise. For a moment, he just stares up at you, his green eyes looking wild- intoxicated. 

"What are you doing?" he asks, his voice sounding strained- even a bit tired.

You bite your lip, suddenly unsure of yourself. "I don't know," you admit slowly. "I just needed to be close to you."

His initial shock gives way to a smile, his thumbs rubbing small circles on your hips. The simple touch sends pleasure throughout your body, reminding you of how much you craved his touch.

“Is that so?” His grip tightened, his cock already hard- pressing firmly against your soft body. 

“You need to be close to me?" his hips rolled up pressing into your warming thighs.

You nod, heat rising to your cheeks. "Yes," you moan back. "Please, Togame. I know I messed up today. Let me make it up to you." Something in him shifted, his eyes seeming further away than before- thinking.

His hips shift again, rolling for a second before he stills, his hands tightening on your hips. For a moment, you think he's going to pull you down to him, to claim your lips in a searing kiss. But then his expression changes yet again, becoming more guarded.

"Not tonight," he says, sounding unsure even to you. "It's been a long day. We both need rest." Disappointment and embarrassment wash over you. You scramble to remove yourself from his body, but his hands keep you in place firmly.

"Don't misunderstand," Togame demands loudly, his thumbs still tracing the curve of your thighs pressed against him. "I want you badly, but not like this.” He now sounded confident, a grin on full display. 

“This is not the kind of begging I enjoy.” You nearly moan at those words, you were not above begging this man for anything at this point. However, a small part of you still felt cracked by the rejection. 

"I understand," you manage out, your body still resting against him. He reaches up, pulling you down on top of him, then effortlessly rolling you to his side. His body shifts so he is on his side, pulling you as close as possible before closing his eyes.

You lay there in Togame's arms, your body pressed tightly against his. The warmth of his embrace and the steady rhythm of his breathing are comforting, despite the turmoil of the day. You want to savor this moment of closeness, but your mind wouldn’t stop pressing you to beg for forgiveness.

"Togame?" you whisper, unsure if he's still awake.

"Hmm?" he mumbles, his eyes remaining closed.

You hesitate, gathering your courage. "I'm sorry," you start "For everything. For not telling you sooner, for putting you in this position-"

Togame's arms tighten around you slightly. "Stop" he says, his voice hushed and tired. "We'll figure it out."

You nod against his chest, feeling tears prick at your eyes again. "I'm tired." you admit in a small voice. Togame's hand moves to stroke your hair. "Then sleep," he murmurs. "I’ll wake you in a bit."

You nod, letting your eyes drift closed as you nestle closer to him. Despite everything that's happened, despite the uncertainty of what's to come, you feel safe here in Togame's arms. His steady heartbeat and the warmth of his body lull you towards sleep.

As you hover on the edge of consciousness, you feel Togame press a soft kiss to the top of your head. "Sleep well," he whispers, so quietly you're not sure if you imagined it. With those words echoing in your mind, you finally succumb to exhaustion, slipping into a deep, dreamless sleep.

You wake slowly, consciousness creeping in bit by bit. The first thing you register is warmth - you're enveloped in a fluffy blanket- alone. Glancing around you notice a clock showing the time 7:24 PM. You weren’t fully sure when you had fallen asleep but the world felt confusing, the sun was still in the sky but far lower than when your eyes closed.

It took a while for your mind to clear, and the events of the day came rushing back - the confrontation in the tunnel, the tense conversation in Togame's office, falling asleep in his arms. You sit up slowly, trying to orient yourself. The room is dimly lit now, shadows stretching across the floor as the sun sets outside. A soft knock at the door makes you jump. "Come in," you call out hesitantly, pulling the blanket tighter around yourself.

The door opens to reveal a young man you don't recognize. He's tall and slender, with delicate features and stylishly messy black hair. His clothing is plain black and white with the now named Shishitoren jersey. His look reminded you of Togame, making you wonder if everyone dressed monochromatically in Shishitoren. 

"Ah, you're awake,good!" His voice is quiet but melodic. "Togame-san asked me to check on you. I'm Aoyama Kaoru." You blinked, remembering Togame mentioning this name earlier. 

"Oh, um, nice to meet you!” You look him over again, noticing the shopping bags you had earlier that day in his hands.

“Oh wow, I forgot about those.” You tried to recall when they got dropped but kept coming up blank. 

Kaoru smiled softly, setting the shopping bags down near the bed. "Togame-san had these brought over for you. He thought you might want to freshen up."

You nod gratefully, suddenly very aware of your rumpled clothes and tear-stained face. "Thank you," you say, your voice still rough from sleep. "Um, where is Togame?"

"He's in a meeting," Kaoru replies carefully. "He asked me to escort you home when you're ready." leaving no option to see him before leaving. You stare at Kaoru, feeling waves of disappointment fill you, Togame sent someone else to wake you and it hurt.

 "Okay. Just give me a few minutes?" You requested, wanting to be alone for a moment. 

Kaoru bowed far too deep for your comfort. "Of course. I'll wait outside." He stepped away, closing the door behind him without a sound. He really was quiet, which was something you liked about him so far. 

You climb out of bed, rummaging through the shopping bags. There was a dresser near his open clothing rack that caught your eye, perhaps you could fit a spare outfit in here. You were not just trying to peek, nope not at all. You padded over to the dresser, eyeing the bottom drawer first. Upon opening it you frowned, it was completely empty. The weight of the dresser shifted easily which was odd considering its size. 

You hesitate for a moment, curiosity completely getting the better of you. Glancing at the door to make sure Kaoru isn't about to walk in, you carefully open the next drawer up. It's also empty.

Your brow furrows as you open the third drawer. Empty again. It seems strange that Togame would have a completely empty dresser in his room.  You reach for the top drawer, your heart racing a little as you register the weight change. You stared in confusion for a moment then shifting to a look of bewilderment, after a few moments you stared in astonishment.

Unlike the others, this drawer is full - but not with clothes.

Inside are several knives, several phones, cash,  roughly 6 passports, and some other items you can't quite identify. Your hand hovered over the contents in macabre fascination, not daring to touch anything.

You quickly close the drawer, afraid to get caught like this. You had enough trouble to deal with, snooping wasn’t going to be the next one. The sight of the weapons and mysterious items was a stark reminder of the dangerous world Togame inhabits - a world you're now inextricably linked to. 

Shaking off your unease, you turn your attention back to the shopping bags. You pull out a fresh outfit - a simple graphic crop top and skirt - and head to the adjoining bathroom to change, and freshen up. As you wash your face, you study the reflection in the mirror. Your eyes are still puffy from crying, but overall you look more composed than you felt.

Once dressed, you gather a few things from the bag and walk back to the dresser. You select the next drawer down, placing a spare outfit and the orange robe inside then pop it closed. You gather the bags and open the door. Kaoru is waiting patiently in the hallway, his posture relaxed but alert. Kaoru gives you a polite nod as you emerge which you respond to in kind. 

"Ready to go?" he asks softly.

You blink then quickly nod, clutching your shopping bags. "Yes, thank you."

Kaoru leads you through the winding hallways of the Orion Stars building. As you walk, you can't help but glance around, taking in more details now that you're not in such an emotional state. The building is a strange mix of faded grandeur, and modern practicality. You pass by ornate moldings and tarnished mirrors, but also see state-of-the-art security cameras and reinforced doors.

As you near the exit, you hear voices coming from a nearby room. One of them you recognize as Togame. Your steps slow involuntarily, straining to hear what's being said, wanting to pop in to say goodbye, but a gentle tug pulls you away from the room.

“We need to move along,” the look on Kaoru’s face is soft, but you could tell from the tone he wasn’t giving you an option. Looks like this was an order, it was time to leave. 

You nod apologetically to Kaoru, picking up your pace for the sake of your new bodyguard. As you reach the lobby, Kaoru holds the door open for you. Nervousness fills you from his actions. You didn’t want him doing everything for you, but wondered what Togame told him needed to be done.

The cool evening air curled against your face the moment you stepped outside- it felt so nice. The sun has nearly set, painting the sky in vibrant oranges and pinks. For a moment, you're struck by how normal everything looks. People just walk by going about their evening, unaware of the turmoil you've just been through inside Orion Stars.

Kaoru leads you to a sleek black car parked nearby. As he opens the back door for you, you hesitate.

"Um, is it okay if we walk?" you ask. "It's not far, and I could use some fresh air."

Kaoru considers for a moment before nodding. "That should be fine. Togame-san just thought you’d be tired.”

“This is his car?” You were confused, he never mentioned being able to drive.

“More for work, but he has taken it out before.” he offered with a shrug. You nod, falling into step beside Kaoru as you begin the walk back to your aunt's house. It only takes five minutes for your mind to demand answers to questions bouncing around your skull. 

"So..." you start, trying to break the awkward silence casually. "How long have you been in-" you trail off unsure if you should say Shishitoren outloud.

Kaoru glances at you, his expression neutral. "A few years now," he says simply- understand your incomplete question.

Already you realize he's not going to be very forthcoming. "And you'll be watching over me now?"

"Yes," Kaoru replies. "I'll be nearby when you're out of the house, just to ensure your safety."

You bite your lip, wondering how to phrase your next question. "Does that mean... reporting back to Togame about what I do?" Kaoru's steps falter slightly, and he turns to look at you more directly.

“Yes.”He says flatly. It was blunt but at least he was honest about it. The idea of being constantly monitored and reported on makes you uneasy, but you understand the necessity of it given the situation.

"I see," you say softly. "Well, I guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other then."

Kaoru gives you a small, reassuring smile. "Don't worry. I'm not here to interfere with your life, just to keep you safe. And I'm discreet."

You return his smile, feeling slightly more at ease. "Thank you, Kaoru. I appreciate that."

You walk in silence for a few moments, mulling over Kaoru's words. As you turn onto your street, a thought occurs to you.

"Kaoru," you start hesitantly. "What exactly did Togame tell you about me? About my... situation?" Kaoru's pace slows as he considers your question. His expression remains impartial, but you notice a slight hesitation before he speaks.

"Togame-san informed me of your connection to both Shishitoren and Bofurin," he says carefully. "He explained that you're under his protection, but that discretion is crucial."

You had figured that much, but you were curious what else he knew. "I see. And... what do you think about all this?"

Kaoru takes a moment to answer, his gaze thoughtful. "It's not my place to have an opinion," he says softly. "My job is to keep you safe and follow Togame-san's orders." You bite your lip, feeling a mix of frustration and understanding at his diplomatic response. As you approach your aunt's house, you decide to push a little further.

"But surely you must have some thoughts on it," you press. Kaoru is quiet for several moments, finally speaking as your aunt's house comes into view. When he  speaks, his voice is measured and incredibly cautious.

"My personal opinion doesn't matter," he lingers for a moment "But if you're asking about the reality of your situation..." He pauses again, clearly getting uncomfortable. "It's complicated. Your connection to both sides makes you valuable, but also vulnerable."

You sighed- this was going nowhere. "Still not sure how." you admit.

Kaoru's expression softens slightly. "Just be careful," he advises. "And trust Togame-san. He knows what he's doing." You don’t bother to respond, you knew he would just repeat himself. 

You reach the gate of your aunt's house, pausing before entering. "Thank you, Kaoru," you say sincerely. There was a good chance he only saw you as a job, but you couldn’t stand the thought of not getting to know him- a possible friend. 

Kaoru nods, his posture straightening. "I'll be nearby for a bit until night patrol gets here, then back in the morning if you need to leave. Message me first. ” he pulled out his phone holding it up.

“Do you need my number?” You ask, starting to reach out for his phone. He smiled, shaking his head before you heard the sound of a picture snap.

“No, he gave it to me.” He pulled his phone back, not yet looking at you. You on the other hand- stare at Kaoru, extremely confused and frankly annoyed by the sudden picture without permission.

“Wait, why did you take my picture?” You squinted at him and the typing he was now doing on his phone.

“Drop off update.” He said simply. Drop off? Update? A drop off update was what he said but you had to say the words in your head several times to handle what he said.

“I’m not a child, he doesn’t need photo updates about my meals, and nap times.” Your anger only intensified as he shrugged with a soft chuckle.

“Well, those are my orders.” His stance shifted, a bit more guarded than seconds ago. You stare at him, frustration growing with his casual attitude about photographing you without asking until it bubbles over.

"Well, those may be your orders, but I don't appreciate being treated like a child who needs constant monitoring," you snap, your voice rising far too high for the sleepy neighborhood. 

Kaoru's face shifts as well, becoming more serious. "I understand your frustration," he says calmly. "But this isn't about treating you like a child. It's about ensuring your safety and keeping Togame-san informed. That is my job, if I don’t do it- it's my head." His sentence ends in a slight hiss making you pull back the attitude quickly- you forgot, he didn’t have a choice.

You take a deep breath, calming yourself. "Sorry, I get that, I do. Just warn me next time, please?" Kaoru nods slowly, considering your words.

"You're right, I should have asked first. I apologize for that." he offered with a sheepish smile, you wondered how old he was. For a brief moment he reminded you of a younger cousin back in the states. Also getting away with mistakes by flashing a boyish smile. 

You nod, accepting Kaoru's apology. "Thank you. I appreciate it." You pause, looking back at your aunt's house. "I should probably head inside. My aunt is probably worried."

Kaoru nods. "Of course. Remember, message me if you need to go out tomorrow."

You give him a small smile. "I will. Goodnight, Kaoru-kun."

As you turn to enter the gate, Kaoru's voice stops you. "One more thing," he says softly. You turn back to face him, an eyebrow raised questioningly.

"Togame-san asked me to remind you; no contact with your cousin or any Bofurin members without his approval first." It almost looked like it pained him to say those words to you, which was a small comfort. 

You deflate upon being reminded. "Right. I remember." Kaoru's expression was hard to place, somewhere between pity and discomfort.

"It's for your own safety," He finishes with a wave before stepping out of view.You turn to enter your aunt's house, a pit forming in your stomach- your world felt so different from this morning.

You take a deep breath before entering your aunt's house, steeling yourself for the questions that are sure to come. As you step inside, you're immediately hit with the aroma of cooking food. Your stomach growls, reminding you that you haven't eaten since lunch.

"I'm home," you call out, your voice sounding small and uncertain even to your own ears.

There's a clatter from the kitchen, and then your aunt appears in the hallway, her face a mix of relief and annoyance. "There you are! Where have you been all day?"

You force a smile, trying to keep your voice steady. "I'm sorry, Auntie. I got caught up with friends and lost track of time." The lie tastes bitter on your tongue, but you push through. "I should have called."

Your aunt studies your face for a moment, her brow furrowed. “It's alright, ah the carrots!” She motioned to the bags in your hand.

You quickly hand over the grocery bag, grateful for the distraction. "Yes, I got the carrots and daikon you asked for. And some eggs too, plus a few extras" Your aunt takes the bags, still eyeing you with concern. "Thank you. Are you hungry? I've made some soup." she says. 

The thought of food makes your stomach growl audibly. "That sounds wonderful, Auntie. Thank you." You walk into the kitchen first, you can feel her eyes on you, studying your appearance. You try to keep your expression neutral, but you know your aunt is perceptive. She's bound to notice something is off.

"So, these friends you were with all day," she says casually as she ladles soup into a bowl for you. "Was it that young man who picked you up this morning?"

You smile a bit bitterly. “No actually. I went to shop with Kotoha-chan and ran into Toma.” That was the biggest understatement of events you’ve ever told. Your aunt nods slowly as she sets the bowl of soup in front of you. "I see. And how is Toma doing? Will he be visiting us soon?"

You feel a pang in your chest at the mention of Toma visiting- since it wasn't possible anymore. The memory of his hurt and betrayed expression in the tunnel floods your mind forcing you to blink tears away.

 "He's fine," you say, your voice tight. "Busy with his friends, not sure when he’ll find time to visit."

Your aunt hums thoughtfully as she sits across from you. "And Togame-kun? Will we be seeing more of him?"

You pause, your spoon halfway to your mouth. How much should you tell her? How much can you tell her? "Yeah, most likely" you say carefully. "We're still figuring things out."

Your aunt's eyes narrow slightly at your evasive answer. "I see," she says, her tone making it clear she was not impressed by any of your answers.

You take a few bites of the soup, trying to figure out how to navigate this conversation without revealing too much. The warmth of the broth is comforting, but does little to ease the knot in your stomach.

"Auntie," you start hesitantly, "I know I've been distant lately. A lot has been going on, and I'm still trying to sort through it all."

Your aunt's expression softens slightly. "I can see that something's troubling you."

You nod, fighting back the urge to spill everything. "Nothing serious, Auntie. Sorry. It's just... complicated." You take another spoonful of soup, buying yourself a moment to think. "Togame and I, we're getting more serious. But there are some... challenges we're working through."

Your aunt's expression softens slightly at your words. "I see," she says, her tone gentler now. "Relationships can be complicated, especially when you’re young."

You nod, grateful for her understanding. "Yes, exactly. We're just... figuring things out."

Your aunt reaches across the table, patting your hand gently. "Well, make sure to inform your father at some point."

A forced smile masks the guilt gnawing at you for not being able to tell her the whole truth. "Thank you, Auntie. I will. I’m sure he’ll be happy about me finally dating."

As you finish your soup, your aunt stands to clear the dishes. "Oh, by the way," she says casually, "A friend of yours stopped by earlier looking for you. Kotoha, I think her name was?"

Your heart skips a beat at the mention of Kotoha. "Kotoha came by?" you ask, trying to keep your voice casual. "Did she say what she wanted?"

She shakes her head as she rinses the dishes. "No, just that she was looking for you. She seemed worried. Said she'd been trying to reach you all day."

Guilt washes over you as you realize you never messaged Kotoha after leaving her. There was a strong chance she had heard about what happened with your cousin- with Togame.

"Oh," you say softly. "I should probably give her a call..." your mind coming to a halt as you realized you needed to reach out to Togame first. Your nerves began to fray at the seams- it was too much.

Your aunt turns to look at you, her expression concerned- which was rare. "Is everything alright between you two?"

You force a smile, nodding. "Everything's fine, Auntie. I just left her suddenly when Toma showed up.”

Your aunt nods, though she doesn't look entirely convinced. "Well, give her a call when you can. It's not nice to leave friends worried."

You nod, guilt eroding the will to eat your soup. "I will, Auntie. Thank you for the soup." You excuse yourself, heading up to your room. Once inside, you close the door and lean against it, letting out a long breath. The events of the day come crashing back, and you feel suddenly overwhelmed.

Pulling out your phone, you see several missed calls and messages from Kotoha. Your thumb hovers over her name, but you remember Kaoru's warning - no contact with anyone connected to Bofurin without Togame's approval first. If you opened her messages you knew your resolve would break entirely. 

With a sigh, you open your messages with Togame instead- ignoring the “please call me” displayed in the most recent text from Kotoha. 

"I'm home safe. Kaoru escorted me. Can I call Kotoha? She is worried.”

“Tomorrow with Kaoru,” Togame replies after a few minutes. You only stare at Togame's brief response, a mix of frustration and contempt washing over you. Needing Kaoru present for a simple phone call to Kotoha felt so invasive and unwarranted. There was no way you’d be able to keep this up for long.

With a sigh, you type out a reply: "Okay. Goodnight."

You wait a few moments, hoping he might say more, but no response comes and after 10 more minutes you give up. Feeling drained, you set your phone aside and flop onto your bed. You have class tomorrow and need to be awake for the pop quiz that always popped up around this time of the month. With one final frustrated groan you pull your blankets over your head and shut out the world. 

Togame’s POV

Togame looked down at his ringing phone. He can't help but grin from ear to ear as he sees Hajime Umemiya's name on the caller ID. It had been several hours since he told Hiragi to have Hajime call but it was worth every second. 

He nearly purred upon opening his phone “Yooooo Ume-chan,” It wasn’t surprising at all when a shallow reply reached back through the speaker. 

“Togame Jo,” Hajime said flatly. A cheeky grin spread across his face as a chuckle rumbled in his chest, Hajime was so uptight when backed into a corner. 

“So cold.” Togame mocked back, enjoying the silence that followed his jab. 

“What can I do for you?” He finally stated, eager to hear Hajime bitch about what was right and wrong about his actions today. Plus, Togame knew exactly what Hajime wanted but he was going to make him work for everything in this conversation, nice and slow. 

“You know why I am calling Togame.” 

“Can’t say I do,” Togame grinned at the wall, enjoying the game already.

“Toma’s cousin,” The fact he couldn’t bother to say her name irked him in an odd way but he didn’t bother to speak on it.

“What about her?”

“Give her back.” Ah, there it was. The proclamation that she didn’t belong to him was absurd- something he would correct for everyone. Togame’s fingers gripped his phone a bit harder than planned, the hinges creaking under the strain.

“No.” 

“You can’t hold her prisoner!” Hajime nearly shouted, making Togame smile widened. He had a sinking suspicion that Hiragi shared the events of the tunnel very differently. Togame was happy to explain in detail how you had bent into him, seeking only his hand. 

“Oh? Did Toma not tell you?” a boastful laugh “She’s mine. She proclaimed it for all to hear.” 

“Togame, I’ve seen them. The marks.” For a moment Togame’s mind went blank. If Hajime had been in front of him pulling that disrespectful tone he would have been unable to deal with the onslaught that would come from Togame. He didn’t give a shit what people thought, with a singular exception being the idea that he would beat his woman. 

“Marks?” Togame teased “Oh, the ones from our date? I assure you, she begged for those. Beautifully, might I add. Never heard sounds like that honestly, so eager for me.” A muffled silence stretched across the line. In the background distant shouting and a door slamming signaled the forceful departure of someone. Togame relished in it, imagining the furious expression on the Bofurin leader's face as one of his commanders lost their temper.

“Togame, stop this. He is her family, you can’t keep them apart.” Hajime declared "Plus she's an innocent civilian. You can't drag her into our world like this."

“I can,” Togame's grin widened, his voice dripping with mock concern. "And didn't Hiragi do just that by involving her with Bofurin? Introducing her to your men?" Another beat of silence, Togame could practically hear Hajime grinding his teeth.

"That's different," Hajime insisted but Togame ignored him. “I’m sure we could arrange visits,”

“She is not a toy to be shared Togame Jo!” The sound of a fist hitting something solid was music to Togmae’s ears. 

“Glad that’s clear, never planned to share.” While that wasn’t entirely true, it was fun to make Hajime fight tooth and nail to maintain his air of calm. 

Hajime's voice grew cold. "This isn't a game, Togame. You're playing with people's lives."

"Oh come now, Hajime-chan." Togame replied, his tone still light and mocking. "When has our business ever been anything but a game? One we both play quite well."

"She's not part of this business," Hajime growled. "Let her go."

Togame's smile faded, his voice turning serious. "No. She's made her choice, Hajime. She's mine."

"And if she changes her mind?" Hajime challenged.

Togame was quiet for a moment, considering. "Then she's free to leave," he said finally. "But we both know she won't." Hajime let out a frustrated sigh.

“Stop these games Togame Jo, what do you want?” His voice was strained, sounding nearly defeated.

“You could've started with that, it would have saved you a lot of time.” Immense joy fills Togame at another frustrated silence from Hajime, he would recall this conversation again and again any time one of Hajime’s brats got lippy with him. 

“I want what I have always wanted, quads 3 and 4 and since you rudely implied I beat her, I think you should throw in quad 5 as an apology.” Togame knew would never get quadranter 5, but he was pissed off about the comment on her beautiful neck being anything but consensual.

“Not quad 5, you know-” Togame cut him off, joy burning away leaving him tired. “Yes, I know it's where your rich donors live. And?”

"No," Hajime spat out after a short pause, his voice tight. "Quads 3 and 4. But only for transport, no dealing on our territory." Togame smirked, pleased with how easily Hajime had given in. 

"Agreed. I'll have my men draw up the paperwork." Well shit, that was fucking easy. He had thought Hajime would only give him quad 3, considering 4 was where Furin High School was nestled but he wasn’t one to shoot a gift horse in the mouth. 

“One other thing Hajime, I want something small tacked on. A flavor, just a simple one- but when I ask you oblige.” 

“Why would I offer you such an advantage?” Hajime sounded confused by the question, Togame knew it was out of left field but something about dating someone so close to Bofurin’s top circle made him realize he would need personal leverage at some point. 

“No advantage. Just a simple favor, nothing that would harm you or Bofurin.” He offered with complete honesty, it would not be something he cashed in lightly, and it certainly wasn’t going to be used for anything outside himself. 

“No, you would use it-” Hajime started and was quickly interrupted. “Fine, looks like our chat is over. Have a good night.” Togame took the phone from his ear, slowly closing the phone when he heard a muffled response from Hajime. 

“Fine- a small favor in exchange for Hiragi Toma being able to visit her whenever he likes.” Hajime demanded, but Togame chuckled, astonished by the limitless request, he shook his head even though no one could see him. 

"He can visit his cousin at her aunt's house only- when he likes." he countered. "If she's not there, he leaves. No exceptions." For a moment Togame was certain Hajime would fight him on this but it seemed there were more pressing matters to worry about than cousins hanging out. 

"Agreed," Hajime said after a moment of hesitation. "But I want assurances of her safety, and wellbeing."

Togame rolled his eyes, though his tone remained light. "Come now, Hajime. You know I take good care of what's mine."

"That's what concerns me," Hajime muttered. "She's not a possession, Togame."

"No, she's not," Togame agreed, his voice softening for the first time. "She's far more valuable than that." 

A sigh left Hajime's throat as he pushed on. "She is allowed to visit us when she likes," That nearly got a genuine laugh from Togame, Hajime couldn’t possibly think that would ever happen now. 

"No."

"She needs unrestricted access to her family!" Hajime pleaded.

"It will be approved visits, and she will have an escort," Togame countered, his patience wearing extremely thin.

"Approved visits with an escort?" Hajime's voice was incredulous. "You can't be serious. She's not a prisoner."

Togame's tone was now strained, filled with annoyed disbelief. "I'm very serious, Hajime. This is non-negotiable."

"For her safety or your control over her?" Hajime challenged.

Togame's grip on the phone tightened again. "Both," his tone became vicious. "You are no fool Hajime, so cut the fucking good boy act. They all will know by tomorrow that Bofurin has a princess that is connected with Shishitoren leadership.” The possibility that something like that slipped Hajime’s mind seemed impossible, which left willful ignorance. That irked Togame more than it should have, so using the information he had pulled from her phone- he poked Hajime right in a nerve. 

“How you’ve kept your sister so well hidden is impressive, but she can’t be tucked away in a cafe, not after all the spectacle.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Something in Hajime’s voice shifted instantly, it was dangerous. There was a clear threat without a declaration even being uttered. 

“More games Hajime. Don’t worry! I pieced it together from her texts, no one else knows.” Which was true, he had not bothered to share that information with Choji, it was something only for Hajime and himself. 

Hajime's voice shook with barely controlled anger. "You've been reading her texts?"

Togame laughed loudly, completely dumbfounded by such a civilian question. "Of course. Did you really think I wouldn't take precautions?"

Hajime spoke after several moments, his voice was low and dangerous- very much the man Togame was familiar with. “Who else knows about Kotoha?” Togame frowned, quickly becoming exhausted by the long exchange.

“Just me- as I said already. It will stay that way. Despite what you think, I don’t hurt women.” The tension in Hajime's voice eased slightly, but his breathing still sounded short as he calmed down. "See that it does stay that way. And Togame? If I find out you've hurt her in any way..."

"Is that all?" Togame asked, his tone bored now.

Hajime sighed heavily. "For now. But this isn't over, Togame."

"It never is with us." Togame replied with a smirk. "Always a pleasure, Hajime-chan." He ended the call before Hajime could respond, leaning back in his chair with a satisfied grin. Things had gone better than he'd hoped. Not only had he secured access to key Bofurin territories, but he'd also managed to gain some level of control over Hajime Umemiya- an incredibly rare feat.

His phone buzzed with a new message. It read: "I'm home safe. Kaoru escorted me. Can I call Kotoha? She is worried."

Togame's brow furrowed slightly as he read the message. He knew she was likely feeling isolated and frustrated by the new restrictions, but he couldn't risk any unsupervised contact with Bofurin members just yet.

After a moment's consideration, he typed out a reply:"Tomorrow with Kaoru." Then cleared the notification from Kaoru’s chat as well, the photo had been cute but she clearly looked surprised- clear his loyal foot soldier forgot to mention that bit of information to her before taking a picture.

Togame stared at his phone, debating whether to add anything more to his message. Part of him wanted to offer some comfort, to reassure her that things would get easier. But he knew that would be a lie. The situation was complex and dangerous, and coddling her wouldn't do either of them any favors.

With a sigh, he hit send, leaving the message as it was. Short and to the point. He knew she'd be frustrated, maybe even angry, but it was necessary. Her safety - and by extension, the stability of his position - depended on maintaining control over her interactions with Bofurin.

Togame leaned back in his chair, fingers drumming thoughtfully on the armrest as he mulled over the conversation with Hajime. He'd achieved his immediate goals but he knew this was just the beginning of a complex dance.

Hajime's concern for her wellbeing wasn't entirely unfounded, Togame had to admit but that was why a guard was put in place- to avoid her getting hurt. Did anyone understand the position she was in?  The situation they both pulled her into was dangerous, far more so than she likely realized. But Togame was confident in his ability to protect what was his. And make no mistake, she was his now - in ways that went beyond mere possession.

His phone buzzed again with her reply: "Okay. Goodnight." He frowned slightly at the curt response but figured tonight it was better left alone. They both needed to rest and deal with the consequences of the day alone.

Umemiya POV

Hajime Umemiya stared at his phone long after the call with Togame had ended, a mix of frustration and worry etched on his face. He'd known negotiating with Togame would be difficult, but the reality of the situation was even worse than he'd imagined. The concessions made for Hiragi’s family was more than he wanted to give, but the story recounted to him had made it difficult to think. 

With a heavy sigh, he turned to face the others in the room. Toma Hiragi sat slumped in a chair, his face pale and drawn. The normally stern but energetic commander looked utterly defeated- eyes still red from his raging earlier. Beside him, Kotoha stood with her arms crossed, her expression a mix of anger and hurt. 

"Well?" Kotoha demanded, breaking the tense silence. "What did he say?" While the conversation had started on speaker phone, the comment about her eagerness had sent Hiragi  into a wild spiral, making Umemiya switch to a private chat. 

Umemiya rubbed his temples, feeling the beginnings of a headache."It's complicated. But he's agreed to let Hiragi visit her at her aunt's house, but only there. And he's insisting on approved visits with an escort for any other contact."

"That's ridiculous!" Kotoha exclaimed, her voice rising in anger. "That’s just abuse- clear as day!" While he agreed, the declaration made Umemiya’s neck stiff- Togame was right, he wasn’t so different when it came to Kotoha. He wouldn’t say those thoughts out loud, but it was an all too familiar situation, even if his sister didn’t realize it.

Hiragi remained silent, his gaze fixed on the floor. Umemiya could see the pain and guilt on the commander's face, his eyes reflecting an unspoken conversation. While Hiragi’s  tears had stopped before the call started, they were still glazed with a pained fury unseen since the formation of Bofurin.

"I know it's not ideal," Umemiya soothed, trying to keep his voice strong for everyone. "But it's a start. We have to be careful not to escalate things further."

"Careful?" Kotoha scoffed. "He's the one who's gone too far! We can't just let him control her like this!" The strength his sister had was impressive but in this moment, he needed her to stop. 

He held up a hand, silencing Kotoha's outburst. "I understand your frustration, but we need to think strategically here. Togame holds all the cards right now."

"Because we let him take her." Hiragi said quietly, his head still cast down.

Umemiya's expression softened as he looked at Toma. "We didn't let him take her, Toma. She made her own choice."

Hiragi's head snapped up, his eyes flashing with anger. "She didn't know what she was choosing! He manipulated her, used her feelings against her." he paused, eyes beginning to water again. “She has always been like this, even as a kid. So easily taken advantage of, always trying to make friends- even with local bullies.” His recount of path events did pull on the heart strings but Umemiya couldn’t like his friend feed into the delusions any longer. 

"Perhaps," Umemiya conceded. "But the fact remains, she chose to go with him. We can't force her to come back if she doesn't want to."

"So we just abandon her?" Kotoha demanded, her voice cracking.

Umemiya shook his head firmly. "No. We look out for her as best we can within the constraints Togame has set. And we wait for an opportunity to help her, if she wants it."

Hiragi stood up abruptly, pacing the roof. "This is my fault.”

"No, Toma." Umemiya warned. "This isn't your fault. None of us could have foreseen this."

"I should have known," Hiragi insisted, his voice tight with emotion. "I should have realized something was off when she started acting strange and that fucking scarf. I should have protected her better." Umemiya figured Toma had seen some of the marks, glad it was confirmed now.

Umemiya sighed, understanding Hiragi's guilt but knowing it wasn't productive. "Blaming yourself won't help her now. We need to focus on what we can do moving forward."

“Move forward?! You saw her neck. I let it go because she seemed to be confiding in Kotoha but that was wrong too! He is hurting her, I know it! That foul shit he said on the phone...” he trailed off. 

He held up a hand, his expression grave. "Toma, I understand your anger. But we have to be careful about making assumptions. Togame was... explicit about the nature of those marks." He grimaced, recalling Togame's crude boasting. "As distasteful as it is to consider, we have to acknowledge the possibility that they were... consensual."

Hiragi's face contorted in disgust. "You can't be serious. She wouldn't..."

"We don't know what she would or wouldn't do," Hajime cut in firmly. "She's an adult, Toma. And right now, she's chosen to be with Togame."

Kotoha, who had been listening silently, finally spoke up. "But what if she wants to leave and can't? What if she's scared?" Umemiya glanced at his sister, while he loved her with every fiber of his being, she was not helping. 

“You heard me ask that, he said she was free to leave at any time.” While he hadn’t meant to sound annoyed, he was getting really tired of repeating himself. A voice piped up from the back, offering more kindling to the blazing fire around him.  

Suo looked casual, a charming smile in place. “People often defend their abusers, it’s so common that it can be hard to determine a person’s true feelings.” The edges of his temper were beginning to flare- his jaw starting to click together as his muscles strained. 

"You're right, Suo. It's a complex situation. We can't rule out the possibility that she's being coerced or manipulated in some way." 

It was impossible to know if Togame Jo’s word was genuine but in all their years of business dealings Togame had never allowed the arrangements to be undermined, and always transparent about his methods. If Umemiya was being honest, the entire conversation had seemed oddly truthful. If that was good or bad had yet to be decided. 

He looked around at the concerned faces surrounding him. "We also wont jump to conclusions or take rash action. Togame was clear in his stance, and very capable of causing major damage. If we push too hard, we could make things worse for her."

Toma slammed his fist against the table, startling several people. Normally Umemiya would allow people to work out their frustration- this was becoming tedious- childish. Hajime Umemiya stood before Tome could begin ranting again, it was time to stop the roller coaster of emotions jumping from person to person. 

“That’s enough. For now, the matter is settled.” he said to everyone then looked at his friend. “Go home, Toma. Take tomorrow off, I’ll call you later.” Umemiya made sure to look Toma in the eye, warning him to remain silent on the matter going forward. The room fell into an unstable silence. Toma's jaw clenched as he stared back at Umemiya, a storm of emotions swirling in his eyes. For a moment, it seemed like he might argue further, maybe even fight, but then his shoulders slumped in defeat- his body losing all its volume. 

"Fine." Hiragi said, his voice tight with barely contained frustration. "But this isn't over. I won't abandon her."

Umemiya nodded, his expression back to normal. "I know, Toma. None of us will."

As Hiragi turned to leave, Kotoha stepped forward. "Wait, what about me? Can I still try to contact her?" Umemiya hesitated, weighing the risks.

 "For now, it's best if you don't reach out directly. We don't want to give Togame any reason to tighten his control further." He didn’t feel much better than Togame as finished speaking. While he had no intention of looking at his sister’s phone, it had crossed his mind to have Kotoha block her friend's number for a bit. However the look at her face made him instantly put the idea aside. 

Kotoha's face had fallen, water lines beginning to fill, but she nodded reluctantly. "I understand. But if she reaches out to me..."

"Then be careful," Umemiya warned. "Don't say anything that could be used against her or us. And let me know immediately." Kotoha looked over her brother's features, looking for something, but he was in no mood to provide more reassurances. With a final questioning stare Kotoha left, following after Hiragi. The rest of them stayed, waiting for more orders- a small reprieve.  

Umemiya waited for a moment, making sure Hiragi and Kotoha had left completely before addressing the remaining members. His expression was grave as he surveyed the room.

"This situation with Togame and Hiragi's cousin is delicate," he began, his voice low and serious. "For now, no one is to approach or contact her without my explicit approval. Is that understood?"

There were nods of agreement around the room, though some looked uneasy.

Sakura spoke up "If she reaches out to one of us for help I’m not telling her no." his usually standoffish demeanor replaced by one of angry concern which Umemiya found a bit usual but smiled at nonetheless. Sakura had always had a soft spot for the broken, lost, and hopeless. It was one of the reasons Umemiya kept him so close, it reminded him of the early days when his days weren't about keeping a huge organization running- it was about helping others. 

Umemiya took a breath, fully considering Sakura’s words."If that happens, inform me immediately." Was all he could offer. It wasn’t like he would leave her to the wolves, but when someone walks into the deep dark forest alone, there was only so much sympathy to be had.  

"Look," he began, his voice firm but not unkind. "I know you're all worried about her. But we have to be smart about this. Togame isn't just some thug - he runs Shishitoren. If we make one wrong move, it could have serious consequences not just for her, but for all of Bofurin."

He paused, letting his words sink in. "Right now, our priority has to be maintaining the balance we've struck with them. We can't risk open conflict over one person, no matter who they are."

Sakura's brow furrowed. "So we just leave her with that bastard?”

Umemiya nodded slowly, using his remaining energy to maintain a level head. "Yes, Sakura, you do. And if there's genuine evidence that she's in immediate danger, then of course we act. But right now, we don't have that evidence. What we do have is a very delicate political situation."

He paused, choosing his next words carefully. "Shishitoren provides us with significant income, and stability at our largest border, plus several other things I don’t have time to explain."

Umemiya's words hung heavily in the air. The remaining Bofurin members exchanged uneasy glances, clearly torn between their loyalty to the organization and their concern for the lost princess of Bofurin. Sakura opened his mouth as if to argue again, but Suo placed a hand on his shoulder, shaking his head slightly. Sakura's jaw clenched, but he remained silent- taking a step back.

"I need all of you to trust me. ” Umemiya said with a small smile, still preening over the man Sakura was becoming. While he wanted his subordinates to listen, having a bunch of dead brain followers was never his goal. They all nodded allowing him the opportunity to prove he was a good judge of character- at least he hoped. 

Once everyone was gone Umemiya walked to the edge roof, staring into the darkening skyline. The cool air was a welcome feeling after taking in everyone’s strong emotions. It wasn’t lost on Umemiya that he couldn’t properly comfort them, but false hope was incredibly dangerous. 

Bofurin territory was huge, it had become a beast he needed to wrestle with constantly. The constant gnashing of hungry mouths, cries for protection from those outside his walls, and the start up gangs always poking at his borders was overwhelming at times. All that while maintaining a moral high ground was absurdly difficult, but he would carry it- so they didn’t have too. 

[penultimate-step]

Oshi no Ko 143 Reaction

This was a fun chapter. Ruby getting aggressive finally forcing Aqua to stop ignoring the problems in their relationship that have been simmering for 20 chaps now and actually have a conversation that puts it all out in the open. They're mostly saying stuff I predicted in advance, but some of it took me by surprise.

One bit that made me stand up and !!! was this page:

I thought I was doing something interesting when I compared Ruby's feelings towards Gorou to Aqua's feelings about Ai in my last two analyses but she just came out and said it directly on page, haha. I feel pretty validated.

I still stand behind most of what I wrote last week after this chapter. Ruby is desperately trying to make this a romance, but her best pitch is "I care about you in the same way we cared about idols in our past lives. Parasocially and without regard for the actual person, because I need to put somebody on an idealized pedestal or else I'll kill myself. This is what romance is, right?" Girl with so so so many issues, I love her.

The one thing that did really take me by surprise was the bit where she listed off Aqua's flaws as a person. In the past I assumed that Ruby was intentionally ignoring these flaws and making up a version of Aqua that didn't exist in her head. The way in her mind he's drawn like a romance hero and how she makes excuses for all the things she took issue with before lead me to believe she was intentionally distancing "Gorou, her idol" from "Aqua, the person, her brother" in her head. I'm not sure how to square this knowledge with the way she is (textually, now!) putting him on a pedestal. If I had to guess, I would think she actually is aware of who Aqua is as a person - she was friends with him as Gorou before and siblings for 18 years, she should know him better than anybody - but is intentionally separating this knowledge from the figure she is idolizing, because she needs to keep ahold of something for her mental stability.

I'm reminded of an analysis post of OnK ep 1 I read on tumblr almost a year ago, I forget who posted it so I can't properly credit it but it's not my own thoughts. (if anybody else remembers it please let me know so I can link it!) They contrasted Gorou's parasocial fan relationship with Ai to Ryosuke, the stalker who killed him: both put were fans of Ai, the Idol, but when confronted with the reality that she was more than an idol, that she had relationships and would have children, Gorou decided that the health and happiness of Ai the person was more important than his image of Ai the Idol, and did his best as a doctor to help her, while Ryosuke's reaction to having his image of the Idol shattered was to try and destroy Ai the person. The analysis put forth the idea that this was contrasting healthy vs unhealthy methods of being a fan - that there's nothing wrong with being a fan of someone, necessarily, but you have to keep in mind that you aren't entitled to anything about them, and there's always a real person underneath the performance.

I didn't fully agree with it - in my post about how the series portrays different kinds of love I talked about how it came down very harshly on dishonest and idolizing love - but I did think it was very interesting (obviously as I still remember it almost a year later). Anyway Ruby's approach to Aqua this chapter made me think of that a lot. She makes a big deal out of how Aqua is her idol, their relationship is idol/fan, and she can ignore all his flaws - but at the same time she points out that she does actually know what those flaws are. It puts her in something of a strange position. What would she do if her image of The Doctor, Her Idol, no longer existed, and she was left with just Aqua? Would she care for the person, or be mad at losing the illusion? According to this chapter she fits into neither of those, she chooses to pretend that the illusion still exists even while staring directly at the reality. Ruby seems aware that she is essentially using the idea of the doctor as a coping mechanism, but doesn't want to admit that this desire is directly in tension with the idea about caring about Aqua as a person, romantically or otherwise.

As for Aqua, it's great that he's finally being a little honest with his emotions and feelings after so long, to the one person who is really able to understand the context.

However, I think he's still holding a lot back, especially in the latter half of the chapter, because there are things he doesn't feel that he can say to Ruby, specifically about their relationship. He seems hesitant to directly tell Ruby that he can't be her lover or her idol, he can only be himself - even when he tries to tell her that he can't be the person he was she just brushes it off - and I think with how Ruby's mental health is holding on by a thread he is unwilling to do anything to jeopardize it, even if it means accepting the spot on her pedestal.

My read of the relationship between Gorou and Sarina 22 years ago was that they were genuine friends at the time. Regardless of difference in age and position they were both socially isolated people who found one person they felt they could be honest and open with. This makes their current relationship even sadder - Ruby has twisted the memory of their old friendship into dreams of romance and idolatry to fuel the desire to live one more day. Aqua, who in his last life would have been willing to do almost anything to get her to keep living, is forced to cut away his own relationship to her, both last life friend and current life brother, because being dishonest - being an idol - is the only way he can see to keep her alive and healthy. Both have already cut away most of their other bonds for the sake of the revenge plan, and now they can't even be fully honest with each other. Very tragic stuff.

All in all I really really liked this chapter. The interactions between Ruby and Aqua has always been multiple layers of relationships and mindsets existing on top of one another, and that just makes it super interesting for me. I love it whenever that leads to character tension. They've been friends and siblings and idols and all of that has to coexist, its a very unique kind of character writing that Oshi no Ko does well and I don't see very often and makes me care for the series a lot. I think I have a much more positive view of this arc than most of the fandom because the trainwreck of their relationship is one of the series highlights to me, so chapters like this, where exactly how bad their mindsets have gotten are placed as the main focus, are some of my favorite story beats.

I know there's a lot of negativity about this chap but I'm having a good time over here in my corner. Not sure if it's because I've been letting my thoughts about the series out in posts a lot more recently or because I liked this specific chapter a lot but this is definitely most I've been invested in the series for a while now. I think I was letting the Discourse kind of sour things for me and now I have mentally exorcised it from my mind.

[beifong-brainrot]

I mean, Suyin also decided to not come forward about the nature of the rift to her own children. Even when they had grown up and it was relevant to the situation. She also didn't take into consideration Lin's worries about the Red Lotus, not to the magnitude that Lin was urging on.

Moreover, Lin didn't want to be in Zaofu. She explicitly tried to stay away. Was it mature? Definitely not. But it was her choice, and it was one that would have prevented any more fighting or family drama from happening in the middle of a mission to keep the frigging avatar safe.

You say that the show only portrayed Lin's POV (which is true), however the development of the episode only show it to us, not any of the characters present.

Let's say we don't see those flashbacks, then what would have we seen? Suyin's version that (what a surprise) leaves out her whole part in the conflict beyond the "we were both neglected by our mom" part.

No, she didn't try to make good to her during the episode. Not when the very root of the issue circles to the secrecy Toph forced to keep Suyin's record clean. No, she didn't placate Lin's suspicions when at the first chance she goes over Lin to aid a bunch of teenagers follow the sadistic criminal group Lin was trying to protect them from.

And finally, no, you don't get to play woe-is-me when you force someone to a situation they don't want to be in. It's really ugly, on either side of it, but I seriously feel you're leaving out the part where it was Suyin's territory, family and influence the scenario of it. She had a support network, Lin was paranoic- could anyone have expected any different?

Ok. Several misconceptions to clear up. (Because there always are whenever I post anything vaguely critical of Lin).

When I said that Su tried to make good with Lin multiple times, I was speaking predominantly about how it was said (very hard to spot when you're mainly focused on seeing Su as the devil, I know😊) that Suyin has tried to contact Lin on peaceful terms multiple times.

One thing I rarely see brought up by people when discussing Lin's rift is that Lin... might just not want to discuss her scarring with just anyone? Like for some reason people act like the decent thing of Suyin to do is to.... not respect Lin's autonomy and privacy? And if Lin blew Su off as it was impied that she did, I doubt Lin's level of comfort around talking about the scar was discussed.

The red lotus issue, and here's a controversial opinion, wouldn't seem like a big issue to most people at the time.

You must remember that while yes, the Red Lotus were incredibly hyped up by Zuko and Tonraq, but to the public they were just 4 randos who were stupid enough to try and kidnap the most well guarded 4 year old in the world. People didn't even know the organisations name, and none of the 4 ever explained why they were after Korra.

Especially that Suyin was introduced to the concept like this:

Korra: She's just a little worried because there's a bunch of crazy criminals after me.

Not exactly screaming " hey shit is hitting the fan". Which isn't helped by the fact that Lin would rather blow her brains out than have a conversation with Su where she isn't allowed to substitute the important things with backhanded insults.

Suyin did assure Lin plenty of times that Zaofu is an incredibly safe city, which it was. The only reason the Red Lotus got in is because they had a man on the inside and they still left empty hamded and with their tails between their legs. Suyin could never account for Aiwei's betrayal.

Honestly, dear, your inclusion of criticism on my posts about the episodes' storylines is weird. I was purely speaking on how the story was presented to us, the viewers.

Lin is a veey shut off character who would rather commit mass homocide than have a moment of vulnerability. Huh, I wounder why Su didn't go around spilling someone else's tragic backstory to randos. "Hey, Korra, you've proven to be just GREAT as handling sensitive issues like this, how about I give you more ammo to pull out on Lin? I'm sure that will go over amazing."

I will say that Suyin letting the Krew follow Aiwei is a dick move and a stupid thing to do. I don't think Sugin was thinking clearly, due to the immense betrayal she was feeling due to Aiwei's actions.

I will say, I think that Suyin perfering to lie to Lin rather than disagree with her outrigt is very indicative if their relationship. But since most people who talk about this pair seem to perfer the "ooga booga Su bad, Lin good" school of thought, I guess we'll never have a mature conversation about this fascinating pattern of behaviour.

I will also concede that Suyin had the "advantage" of having her support system. Being on her turf would probably be comforting, but let's not forget that Lin actively insulted/drove to tears Suyin's kids, complete innocents in this situation.

Lin: Five kids. What a nightmare. Suyin: No, no. My children are a blessing. Lin: Yeah, mom used to say that too, but she never meant it.

Can I just say how much I hate this exchange? Like giving Lin the absolute benefit of the doubt she's being a jerk and then traumadumping at the worst possible moment. Giving a little less benefit of the doubt she's implying to her niblings' faces that their mother is lting about loving them.

Lin's obsession with painting Su as a villai is a symptom of her mommy issues, but you guys just like. Took it at face value you chumps.

Like yeah Su has the advantage of having her family close but that just kinda opens up the doors for Lin to make even more teenagers feel like absolute garbage. And after all that's her super special talent.

But you know what? I would have expected different from a 50+ woman who is in charge of people's lives. Like, call me insane and a dick and insensitive, but girlie should've gotten her shit together. But Lin doesn't value herself enough to do so and that is her skill issue. She self handicaps, she stagnates, she ignores her own well-being and it bites her in the ass.

It is, once again, a fascinating set of behaviours to discuss have but Lin is this fandoms sopping wet kitten, so we don't get to talk about Lin Beifong's arrested development.

Lin isn't an angsty teen or forlorn young adult. She's a grown ass woman with a career. She can get it together. I believe in her.

[pilferingapples]

as a big les mis fan, i have loved your blog for ages but recently you have especially piqued my interest - in your recent explanatory amis post, you referenced historical metacontext around jehan's death being first. i have a theory about what that metacontext is, but i am FAR from certain and hoping you could offer me some clarification

(also do you have any other pieces of interesting historical metacontext to share with the class)

OK you gotta tell me your Theory too!!! if it lines up or it was something totally different , I wanna hear it alllll

anyway! it's pretty solid that Prouvaire as he finally appears is largely an homage to Hugo's old friend Gérard de Nerval, who had died in 1855; a LOT about Prouvaire's description overlaps with how people talk about Gérard, and the conversation where he's arguing with everyone about the old gods still existing lines up EXTREMELY with conversations that other people remembered having with him ; there's THIS :

Jean Prouvaire was in love; he cultivated a pot of flowers, played on the flute, made verses, loved the people, pitied woman, wept over the child, confounded God and the future in the same confidence (LM 3.4.1, Hapgood)

“God is dead, perhaps,” said Gerard de Nerval one day to the writer of these lines, confounding progress with God and taking the interruption of movement for the death of Being.(LM 5.1.20)

(Hugo still trying to still have this conversation with his friend via novel guts me more than a little!! People are people and we never stop wanting to find the right thing to say oh geez I'm crying for real)

Bahorel , who dies in the same first-charge attack that takes Prouvaire, is also a (even more obvious) homage to a friend; Petrus Borel , who had died in 1859.

They're considered pretty minor figures today, but they were both really noteable names in their day, which is to say...about the late 1820s/early 1830s; they were two of Hugo's most trusted lieutenants in the battle of Hernani, held in French Romantic memory as a breakout event for the movement. And, importantly, they were the first of that core group of more radical Romantics to die.

So while i think there is a lot going on character- and symbol-wise with them being the first two Amis down, I also think there's definitely an Acknowledgement in them being the first of the named group to go; they get the sort of heroic deaths they'd have liked, and maybe the closest thing to Good deaths on the barricade until OFPD? and agh I'm emotional, QUICK tell me your theories before I start crying harder

[marine-indie-gal]

Been awhile since I haven't drawn any Tabaluga lately, not since that I've finally got a chance to watch the Kristin Fairlie version online since I first found the Mackenzie Ziegler version from it's Alternate Stupid Title, "Ice Princess Lilly" only to fool a lot of people into thinking it was a Frozen knock-off from a Regular Old Dollar Store. Though it's still not a big surprise from Me for the US to give out some CGI Movie Adaptations of Kids Shows from an Old Decade under their own Cheap Titles like "Here Comes The Grump" to "A Wizard's Tale" and even "The Magic Roundabout" to "Doogal" (seriously, the last one sucked ass. Even though I haven't had a chance to watch the British version, I heard a lot of good things about the OG version of that Other Adaptation much better than how Weinstein butchered it with their own Pop Culture references).

So I had a small talk with my Friend, @djinarocks of how we loved Tabaluga and how that Arktos is one of our Favorite Villains of Musical Theatres (compare to Von Rothbart from "Swan Lake" and even The Mouse King from "The Nutcracker") after I introduced her to this German Franchise.

While that both Me and My Friend love Obscure Media a whole lot, we both ship Tabaluga/Lilli together as a Romeo and Juliet like pairing (since these Two Elemental Kids did reminded Me a lot of that Other Elemental Romeo and Juliet Movie made by Sanrio (not to be confused with the Pixar one that is)). During in one of our conversations, we talked about on how we wondered if Lilli didn't leave Iceland and started her own New Life up in Space if Arktos did raised her and treated her as his own Actual Heir (something as if his own Mother would've liked to have Grandchildren if the Son were to pass the Whole "Dictator" thing to his own Children like a Family Thing).

If you're one of the Fans who both love the Musical and the Show other than the Movie, you'd probably would know that Arktos created Her, only to lure Tabaluga in for exchange of his Fire (in which the 2018 Adaptation did by its own self, but without the Whole "Give Your Own Fire to Me" thing and replace it into having "One Last Hero to be Killed" scenario that made Arktos into a much more Sinister Creepy Dragon Genocidal Monster as an Akin Contrast to the OG Arktos). But since Me and My Friend had this "Thought" if Lilli didn't leave Iceland, what if Arktos had a different way with her? Something like raising a Heir and make them a Future Dictator for your own Country. If anything, that could've had make Lilli give her so much more character other than just a "Love Interest" (akin to the Movie's Lilli as well).

Basically, Arktos creates Lilli through Sculpture (but it goes different than the last one than in the show through a twist), instead of creating a Trap for Dragon Bait, he actually creates Lilli as a single heir of his own so that way she'd beat Tabaluga to rule all over the lands one day. After trying to wind her up with a Wind-Up Key, Arktos thought of a better solution by breathing her into Life to make her Real. He names his own Daughter, "Lilli" because after researching through a Book about Humans, he mispronounced the name "Lilith" (The First Wife of Adam) into "Lilli" and mistaken Her as Eve (Adam's True Wife) (because that's clearly how he created her according to some of the Musical's lore from what I can remember). Although while Tabaluga was deeply in love with Arktos' Humanoid Daughter, Arktos forbid their own love and didn't want to be a Father-In-Law to his own Arch-Nemesis (whose the Son of his First Enemy).

Teaching his own Child everything about Iceland Life, Lilli was somehow fascinated by the World of Greenland and wanted to explore around Other Countries instead invading to in which, She and Her Father have a Huge Conflict about. Unlike the Movie's Lilli, this AU Lilli has more personality than the one in the show of her single appearance; She is more Meek and Shy with a Quiet Personality but is still Curious about the Entire World that she demands to ask a Whole Lot of Questions (even if her Father dares to answer one of them). Despite their own disagreements, Arktos loved his own Daughter deeply similar to how his own Mother passed on her Son's Spoiled Love to Another (even James would still have to be Lilli's own Manny whenever his Penguin Butler would have to keep an eye on her whenever the Father's not around).

When Tabaluga got over his own crush for her after their first meeting, he basically decided on how to teach Lilli to be more "Independent" whenever she'd come and visit Greenland (either with or without her own Father), even with the help of her own Friends. Although that while most of the Greenlanders didn't like Lilli at first, the Ice Princess then expand more of her Kindness to her Surroundings as throughout her own Arc between Seasons 2-3, She and Tabaluga develop more of their Romance (instead of having a Rushed One). After the Frozen Defeat of Arktos, Lilli then decides for her own life that it is best to join her own Boyfriend and become the Rulers of both their own Lands after a Long Journey ahead of having Each of The Four Seasons be released every year as they start their own New Life together, thus, ending their own Families' hate feud.

I've probably should've had put this in my version of Tabaluga but oh well, at least this is probably from a Simple AU where if Lilli did had more Character than just being the Main Character's Love Interest. 🤷‍♀️

BTW, when I finally got a chance to watch the First English Dub Movie online, I was so Happy that I got a chance to seeing the Scene where Tabaluga and Lilli sing their own Love for Each Other from one of the Musicals and let me tell you it was sooooooo Adorable to see Tabaluga and Lilli's love for each other, which makes my Love for the Both of Them even more 🥰

And while that I still haven't checked out the Rest of the Musicals and their Songs (since I still can't understand German as Someone who wishes to learn more about Any Foreign Language for the Same Person who watches Foreign Cartoons all the time), I did try out the Original versions for "Devil In White" and "I'm Feeling You" as I still need to practice more of my own Tabaluga homework. XP

I was also afraid on how I would deal with my own first time drawing with Canon Arktos after doing my own version of Him (since his Left Arm was a bit hard for Me), but I think I nailed it after trying to draw out their own Canon Designs from the Franchise.

Arktos and Lilli (c) Peter Maffay, Rolf Zuckowski, and Gregor Rottschalk.

[jackoshadows]

Why do you think there is so much animosity between Sansa fans and Dany fans? I can understand how conflict comes up between Sansa fans and Arya fans given the conflict between the characters but I can’t figure out what the issue is with Dany fans vs Sansa fans. It can’t JUST be because of shipping, right? I’m a big fan of Dany, Arya, and Jon, but I still do like (canon) Sansa as a character and honestly see a lot of similarities between her and Dany. Their stories have definite parallels and anti parallels and I don’t really know why I don’t see anyone else talk about it. Every time I try to talk to a Sansa blog or a fellow Dany blog about it, I never hear back. What gives??

I don't like the both siding in this ask. Sansa fans keep spewing hateful nonsense, farcical theories and made up headcanons in the form of 'intellectual' discourse in the Dany/Arya/Jon tags and then when book fans of those characters respond, the so called 'neutral' bnfs pretend both sides are to blame.

All this explained very clearly here.

And while I personally feel that Dany and Sansa have very little in common as characters, there's a lot of fandom metas/essays/gifsets and fanarts paralleling these two as fandom faves. You should be able to find them on many of the character blogs if you are interested in that sort of thing.

IMO, Daenerys is clearly written as a tier I main character. She drives her story more than any other character in the series as the sole representative of her house and considering how isolated she is from every other POV character. The story in her POV is about her.

If we are looking at parallels, then it's Daenerys and Arya who have a lot of commonality in their way of thinking, their concern for the little guy, in their ideas of justice and dispensing that justice, right and wrong, their toughing it out on their way to the top, their proactive nature in getting things done, to be in charge, their love of nature etc.

With respect to the increase in toxicity from the Sansa fandom post show, then yes, that's because of shipping and Jonsa. A lot of the hate that the character of Daenerys gets is from Sansa fans - especially on Tumblr - because of her foreshadowed future relationship with Jon Snow and they want fanon, self-insert Sansa to have Dany's plot importance and story in the books. It's different on asoiaf sites like Reddit and Westeros.org - the majority of Dany hate on there is from Stannis/Jon Snow fans who are not big fans of a female character being the prophesied chosen one/top dog of the series.

And I point to shipping being the big reason because of my personal fandom experience on this site. This is me going down memory lane but I remember around 2015/16, I wrote these angry, frustrated posts calling out the TV show for taking Jon's book plot and writing that for show Sansa and Sansa's actions in the Battle of the Bastards in season 6. At that time a lot of Dany fans were also big Sansa fans and attacked me for being a 'misogynistic dudebro'. I am not naming names - shit's in the past - but I used to get blocked and get hateful inbox messages for criticizing show Sansa's actions.

During season 6 there were so many posts about Jon Snow being an useless idiot who deserved to die, Sansa was right to not tell him because he's a moron, Sansa's the politician/general who knows best, she deserved to be queen, Jon's the worst for stealing Sansa's birthright else Sansa and Dany would have ruled as best queens of westeros etc. - all from Daenerys fans!!

This was some kind of superficial notion of girl power with Sansa and Dany girlbossing around Westeros, bow down before these Queens sort of thing and fuck the actual book story. Arya was never included in these conversations because she did not wear dresses and Maisie Williams was not conventionally beautiful like Emilia Clarke and Sophie Turner and therefore did not fit into these Girlboss headcanons.

And then before season 7 was when we got the leaked spoilers of Jonerys meeting at Dragonstone. And this was when the full toxicity of the Jonsa shippers was unleashed. This was when we got 'Political!Jon' and all sorts of vile hate for Daenerys and more and more Dany fans started to react to that hate from the Sansa fandom.

Fandom always, always influences our likes and dislikes of characters (This is why I stay away from some fandoms - I don't want to end up hating characters) And this is what happened here. The Sansa/Jonsa fandom was so vile that a lot of Dany fans on tumblr stopped stanning for Sansa.

Fast forward to 2019 and the same Dany stans - again, not naming names but the very same Dany stans - who attacked me for being a sexist, male dude for critiquing show Sansa in season 6, started critiquing show Sansa when Dany got the same treatment that Jon, Arya and Bran got before her with the show tearing down these characters to prop up Sansa. Suddenly it was no longer misogynistic to call out how these characters were being torn down in order to prop up Sansa when they share scenes with her 😂😂😂.

That’s why I don’t hold much stock in words like ‘misogyny’ and ‘sexist’ randomly thrown around without context by the stans of female characters to attack people for critiquing said female character. I have been at the receiving end of this for years from the Jonsa fandom because I call out their utter nonsense.

The sexism and misogyny occurs when a female character is criticized for doing the same thing a male character is praised for - for ex. Daenerys gets a lot of this because she has parallel arcs with Jon Snow and very often she gets attacked for doing the same things that Jon is praised for. Even the show did this - Dany getting unfair flack for executing traitors when Jon Snow and the North do it all the time. The sexism is in how Arya gets attacked as being ‘male-coded’ because she’s not the right kind of girl. The sexism is in the slut shaming and commentary about how Daenerys is not the right kind of rape victim. The sexism is in the popular theories like political!Jon - wherein Jon Snow turns into LF 2.0 and sexually manipulates and seduces a rape victim.

Sexism is not simply liking a male character or critiquing a female character - there needs to be context. One does not simply throw around these heavy words simply to attack other bloggers to win fandom points. The word then loses it’s meaning.

So yeah, I ended up going on a tangent about my fandom experiences when the show was running. I do think a lot of the beef and toxicity in this fandom comes from shipping and Sansa fans wanting her to be something she is not. They want her to be a tier I main character with the story revolving around her love life as she Disney princess rules the North with sewing and dancing. And this leads to them diminishing the actual main characters and taking away from main characters to give to her. Naturally fans of the main character are going to push back against this.

And Sansa is a classist, sexist character and so her fans espouse classist, sexist viewpoints to justify her actions. Their love for all things 'traditional' and sticking to the status quo - 'Jon being KITN would be boring, he should stay a bastard, Arya being lady of WF is not right as she does not want to wear dresses, Dany will be mad like her father she can't escape her genes, Tyrion is doomed' etc. is based on Sansa being a traditional, pro-status quo character. Hence why there is so much clashing of ideas and discourse happening in the fandom.

So yeah. Honestly, I am just tired of seeing all these posts bothsiding fandom drama and making it seem like all the stans are equally responsible when the majority of fandom toxicity is started by stans of one character - Sansa - with the result being fans of other characters pushing back against their nonsense.