#I remember growing up and I would read a bunch of different tumblrs dedicated to astrology

[bigjimbopickens]

Hi! I wanna say I love your art first of all! I just read the message under your last post about Kevin’s art video and you said you’re mostly self taught - I’m curious about how you get into that? I’d love to learn to draw but have no idea where to start!

Sorry for getting back to this so late I am not as active on Tumblr. And yes, I am mostly self-taught because of my circumstances growing up. To those who don't know, I am SnowfallWarning/Big Jimbo and I am currently an animation student. I do 2D animation, concept art and character design and I graduate this year (hopefully). I am disabled both physically and mentally which is why I mostly do digital art. I have a coordination disorder (dyspraxia) and am blind in one eye but that doesn't stop me. For my entire childhood I was discouraged from drawing as I apparently wouldn't go anywhere with it or that I was terrible. Where I lived most of my life had no opportunities for someone like me so I had to leave to continue pursuing art. Because of the poor access, the only things I had was notebooks, school supplies and an old iPad mini to draw with growing up. I learned everything I currently know now from using those. I don't know what got me into drawing still, may have been Warrior Cats and dinosaurs. Like what Jose said in Kevin's video, art comes from the soul. It is human expression and we've always been doing it. Anyone can be an artist and we all start somewhere, trust me. Here's some stuff I usually tell people because I do get asked this often (I'm also not the best teacher): 1: Experiment. Find what works for you. Be messy with it, not every piece needs to be perfect. If you are a digital artist then also trying different programs can be helpful too. Maybe you're better at drawing landscapes, characters or abominations that defy God. 2: Use references if necessary. Not sure why for a while it was considered "cheating" to use references. Everyone in the industry uses references, I would know. If you also want, you can try tutorials but I found I learn more from references. 3: Take inspiration. I'm always adding things I see in other people's art to my own style if I like it. Though try not to copy them. 4: Tracing. I believe tracing is okay for learning purposes. It's how I learned to draw humans after doing exclusively furry art for years tbh. I tend to stick to real-life references for this, this is a great site for practice: https://line-of-action.com (if you're not okay with nudity then do remember to turn that off). "But where do I even start?" Grab a piece of paper and pencil (or open a blank canvas on a digital art program if you prefer that) and just start doodling whatever. If you have an idea then go for that as well. Every class I've had in college so far has started with drawing and rendering a bunch of shapes to see where everyone was at and to get a feel of our styles. So maybe try that too. Draw random shapes with different materials/brushes, colour them in and add details like shadows and highlights. I know it seems ridiculous but I do it every once in a while to experiment and try different methods. You probably won't improve overnight. Hell, it took me 7 years to get to where I currently am. A lot of people quit because they think they're not good enough when pretty much every artist is only proud of about 10% of their work. Definitely the case for me. Not every piece is going to be a masterpiece and the imperfections can be what makes it special, so please don't be so hard on yourself. Don't be discouraged because other artists may be better than you either, they've probably been doing it for longer. So please, if you are dedicated enough, keep trying. I'm sure you will get somewhere :) So basically, - Use whatever material you got and draw what comes to mind, even if it's terrible it is a great start. - Experiment with your style and/or materials. - Reference, take inspiration and trace for memory. - Don't give up but do take breaks to avoid burnout. - Try not to be intimidated by other artists, we also don't really know what we're doing tbh (and just as afraid of you as you are of us).

I hope that all made sense and was somewhat helpful :)

[rosicheeks]

I am a Virgo but I absolutely love how bubbly and sometimes goofy you are 😍😍😍🙏😘

Ok ok ok why did you say ‘but’ though

[clambuoyance]

Hey Clam ! every since you started posting more about dc ive wanted to get into it but i dont know where to start, do you have an tips

well the advice ive heard everyone say is just to pick up a comic and just start reading, which is honestly pretty much what i did. there’s a lot of different continuities and writers and characterizations, and thouuuusssands of comics so your approach to reading em shouldn’t really be “im going to read every single comic ever” bc that would be a very tedious feat.

i’d suggest picking a character you like and looking up their reading guide! sometimes people on tumblr compile them or you can find sites that are dedicated to it, but they list out comics to read.

i also sometimes just want to read single issues so ill google things like “when did tim meet dick” and then it’ll tell me what to read 😗

it ends up with me falling down a rabbit hole bc ill look up a character’s guide, start reading, meet another character in it i like and then look at their history and start reading their comics and then i find anotherrr group i want to read about lol

there’s also not just comics! there’s a bunch of shows and movies too. they’re separate entities just as some comics are pretty divorced from each other, but some of dc shows i like are Teen Titans (2003), Justice League and Justice League Unlimited, Harley Quinn, Young Justice (but i only watched the first one and a half seasons) annnnd i havent seen this one in years so i literally don’t remember anything about it but people say Batman the animated series is good :) and people dont talk about this one much but i have good memories with the Green Lantern animated series too.

Oh wait how could i forget. Lego Batman. the movie and the games. Lego Batman the movie slaps, you should give it a watch. and the games were a Gigantic part of my childhood 😭🙏 so i guess ive kinda had some sort of growing database for dc knowledge since i was a kid.

sorry this ended up just being me rambling about different things but i guess i’d say dc is a large collection of stories and media and characters so you can start anywhere you’re drawn to, and eventually you’ll find yourself learning how to navigate it all.

[meruz]

Aforementioned long ask post please excuse me while i try to figure out tumblr's new text editor. I’ll get into the art meme questions first and then the rest at the end.

Ok first of all thank you all for sending in questions! Giving me an excuse to talk hehe. I’ll address these in number order. Here’s a link to the ask meme for reference but also I’ll restate the question for ease of reading.

1. When did you get into art?

Super cliche answer but I don’t remember a time where I WASN’T the weird art kid! I started keeping a dedicated sketchbook when I was about 12? But here’s a page from my kindergarten journal about what I want to be when I grow up.

2. What art-related sites have you ever signed up for? 

LOL this is a weird question. Not sure why so many people want to know. Anyways I definitely had a dA. more than one dA account. I used to browse oekakis when I was a kid but I think I was only signed up to some small ones that internet friends owned. What else...? Mangabullet,Tegakie, Paintberri, iscribble back when that was a thing, instagram if that COUNTs, I used to post art on livejournal and dreamwidth too. Patreon, I guess. Gumroad, inprnt, bigcartel, storenvy all for selling stuff.

In terms of resources.. I have a schoolism account that I’m sharing with friends. Used to take classes on coursera for free. I signed up to textures.com for work recently haha. I can’t remember if I ever had an account on posemaniacs. Did they have accounts...? I definitely used to visit all the time.

3. Show us your oldest piece of art you have on hand.

Alright here’s me actually logging into my old deviantart account. These are from September 2008 So I was 13 years old. I don’t have a deviantart account from before then because 13 was the required age for having an account and I didn’t want to lie about my age because I wanted people to be impressed by how young yet clearly incredible at art I was LOL.

4. What defines your artistic style?

You guys are probably more equipped to answer this than me but uh... I wanna say... Focus on colors. And... a slightly heavy hand? Like confident... not always well-considered mark making HAH...

Also I think I have a pretty healthy mix of american comics/manga influences. I feel like people who are into american comics always think my art is too manga and people who are into anime/manga always think my art is too american. And I’m taking that as a good sign.

5. Do you practice other styles/have you tried other styles in the past?

I like to think I switch it up a bunch! I mean, these are pretty different, right?

I think I’ve mentioned this before but one thing I really took away from art school is that, for an illustrator at least, art style shouldn’t be consistent. Your greatest weapon is changing the aspects of your style based on the task, the emotions and message you want to illustrate etc. So depending on the project I’m working on, the fandom I’m drawing for, whether I want something to be funny or serious or dramatic, I’ll change things about my style all the time.

One thing I don’t rly post on here is really tight polished work and that’s because I do that for my day job haha. If you’re not paying me... I’m probably not gonna color in the lines.

6. What levels of artistic education have you had?

I have a whole ass diploma LOL. Bachelor of Fine Arts in Illustration. from the Rhode Island School of Design. And I had a great college experience tbh. Besides the student loans. If any of you guys are thinking about art school feel free to e-mail or message me questions or concerns, I’ll be happy to help. Be as honest as I can be.

7. Show us at least one picture you drew or sketched recently that you did not put on a public site.

heres the wandavision kids. Uhh what else do I have...I feel like I’m rummaging for loose change here...

assorted valentines prep doodles

8. What is your favourite piece that you have done?

Well, obviously this is gonna change all the time and generally it’s gonna be my most recent piece LOL. So yeah, why the hell not. I’ll say it’s this one. I have a pretty short memory which I count as a blessing for an artist. I don’t dwell that long on older work and it keeps me moving forward.

10. What do you like most about your art?

I like that it’s something that only I would make! I had this thought fairly recently and I wrote it down in my sketchbook, it’s pretty cheesy and rambling but it felt revolutionary at the time:

So yeah. I like my art best when it’s the most me and for me. And I like it least when it feels like I’m just making something for social media or for other people’s expectations or whatever.

14. What do you like drawing the most?

Kids in baggy clothing are like my go-to LOL idk if that’s obvious. but also I like being challenged so lately I’ve really loved drawing multi-character compositions, environments, weird angles, etc.

oh i LOVE drawing the underside of shoes lol. And bandages. People that are kinda beat up.. I think it comes from getting a bunch of cuts all the time. I’m always patching myself up and I want to patch characters up too.

15. What do you like drawing the least?

mmm I try to find something to like in every drawing but lets see... I don’t like doing commissions of people’s dogs. Just because it’s normally like... a family friend and my mom volunteered me without my consent and I don’t even really know what they’re expecting me to draw and I don’t even get to meet the dog. Also I’m not that great at dog anatomy. Trying to learn though.

18. What is your purpose for drawing?

This could have a million answers! Uhhh to GIT GOOD??? But also to express myself... and also to make money... I mean it depends on what the drawing IS. I draw fanart mostly to connect to people in the fandom so if you ever see me drawing fanart please take it as like an open invitation to talk to me about the character haha. 

20. How would you rank your art? (poor, mediocre, good, etc.)

Good!!! I have a lot of self-confidence primarily born out of ignorance and a short attention span. If I don’t think too hard about how many other artists are mindblowingly unfathombly good... its easy to think I’m good too! LOL

In all seriousness though, I think the opinion a person has of their art is like a crazy balancing act, right? Like you have to think you suck enough to want to get better but also you have to think you’re good enough to not want to give up. I think we’re all walking that line, I know I am! But also I’m a glass half-full type of person so. Most of the time I feel good about it.

22. List at least one of your “artspirations.”

This is a good question because I’ve been trying and failing to put together one of those “influence map” memes for like a full month now. What’s giving me a hard time is I feel like none of these are actually really obvious “““influences”““ in my art? Like it’s hard to see a lot of them in the work I make...? But idk maybe you guys’ll see what I can’t.

And these are just a couple! God there’s so many more. I could talk about other artists for ages, from all different genres of art. Daumier, Rockwell like every illustrator out there, Dana Gibson, Alex Toth, Hiroshi Yoshida, a lot of the Brandywine School. Lots of current working artists too, Karl Kerschl, frikkin Masashi Kishimoto lol, Jake Wyatt, Richie Pope, Edouard Caplain, Matt Cook, Sachin Teng, - lots of big internet artists, Sophie Li, Freddy Carrasco, Milliofish, Angela Sung... like all my friends from art school too. I could just keep going but I’ll stop for now lol.

24. Do you have a shameful art past? (recolour sprite comics, tracing art, etc.)

I mean if that’s how we’re defining shameful?? sure LOL. It’s not sprite comics but I used to do pokemon sprite recolors all the time. And I used to trace manga panels and color them... Granted this was all when I was like under 12 yrs old so it’s not even embarrassing. Can you really call it shameful when a 7 year old wets the bed or whatever? Not really. In fact some of these are cool as fuck. Look

25. Draw a picture!

Man I’m so tired now but here.

I used to get a lot of compliments for drawing people smiling lol but I don’t think I’ve drawn a lot of smiling lately.. here’s proof I’ve still got it.

OK MEME DONE. onto the rest.

I read this ask first thing when i opened my computer in the morning and it made me really emotional.. I’m so glad my sketches could help you!!

I think a lot of artists on social media talk about the struggle of making art but imo not enough people talk about the joy! Like I know it’s corny but. I really meant what I said at the beginning of that sketchbook about re-contextualizing art around process and progress > product and perfection. I think its super important..! The strength of messy, unfinished, and energetic art! For the feeling of it, for the love it!

That's crazy!!! I hope you like 'em. The whole line of x-books is really good rn imo.

Hi! I totally have the answer for digital stuff on my faq lol. But in terms of drawing on paper.. it varies! I tend to use sketchbooking and any on-paper doodling I do as a way to loosen up/warm-up or experiment. But right now my go-to aresenal is:

from top > bottom

- kuretake no.55 doublesided brush pen

- tombow fudenosuke

- muji 0.38 ballpoint

- medium size poscas

- grey tombow double brush pens

- good ol bic mechanical pencil

not EXACTly sure which inking you referring to from my sketchbook but if I had to take a guess it'd probably be the kuretake no55. That's been my main inker, lately. Great for sketching with the thin end too.

You can print out and eat my art if you like. Just please don't mass produce or re-sell. <3

Thanks! I've come to accept that my art is always gonna be sort of gestural and painty naturally. It's getting it to tighten up enough to be legible that's hard lol...

uh yeah lol I agree actually. I think yolei is great.

I assume these asks are related? LOL

1) Yeah totally true. I love David.

2) I don’t take requests, sorry! But if you want to commission me to draw Legion i would be MORE than happy to. Just e-mail me at isellhotdogs@gmail.com.

<33333333333333333333333333

[lesbianchemicalplant]

Text of tweet thread by Anthony DellaRosa @ifeelthewind, Jan 4th 2020 [cw: Contrapoints, transphobia, biphobia, doxxing, abuse, harassment, K*w*f*rms, etc. etc. etc. etc.]

Well, it's been a solid two days of waking fucking nightmares, and also the regular kind.

So, let's talk about it. Contra's got me actively fearing for myself, and also for my family (and here's how). Alternate title:

Contra told a *million* people that I "might be" a Nazi who's "just pretending to be trans."

Now, keep in mind, Contra's a relatively wealthy woman with just over 800,000 YouTube subscribers and almost 11,000 paying patrons. Meanwhile, I have 662 Twitter followers and holes in my mouth where teeth used to be.

Anyway, in her video, at 33:35, she quotes a series of three consecutive tweets of mine, starting here.

So, um, I've actually had her blocked for a long, long time. Definitely at least a year. Maybe two.

So, the fact that she was able to see these tweets at all, to begin with, means that she was namesearching *around* my block, specifically trawling for content. Which is a hell of a thing.

Like, I blocked her because over the course of a couple years, her work became just incredibly fucking triggering for me. But she's so fucking omnipresent in pretty much *every* online trans space, it's basically impossible to fully escape her stuff. So, the block was there to give me at least *some* protection against being blindsided? For a while, I also actually muted her name.

But here we are.

Also, I feel like, after a certain point, she must have been watching *me*, very specifically, because, later in the video, she also quotes *this* tweet, which got literally *five* fucking retweets in its *entire* fucking lifetime, and also contains no big, hot, easily searchable keywords. 

I mean, unless she was fucking sitting here, combing through literally *every single fucking mention* of "Olly" or "Philosophytube" or "trans people." Put a pin in that. Anyway, Contra reads my tweets about Buck Angel's famously petty, spiteful act of transphobic violence against Lana Wachowski, which, yes, could have *easily* gotten her killed, and argues that we shouldn't care. In fact, not only should we not care -- we shouldn't even check to see if it's true.

Because that "reminds" her of what "creepy stalkers who hate trans people do." You know, digging through the archives, looking for dirt. But let me remind you, Buck's comments exist in the media because he *sold them to the media*. He deliberately went on a fucking tear through the entire fucking tabloid circuit, eventually reaching as high as Rolling fucking Stone. He "exposed" Lana, very, very publicly, specifically to punish her. *Doing* that is apparently fine, whatever. Be a guest on my fucking YouTube show. Let me gush and gush and *gush* about your fucking "decades" of "good trans activism" (with absolutely no specifics). But *talking* about the actual, historical fact that he *did* do that, a simple acknowledgement of the fucking harm, is abusive and stalker-ish? I'm sorry, *how* did you get to my tweets again? So, immediately after featuring and responding to three of my tweets, she asks the audience,

"How can you tell the difference between a trans anarcho socialist with an anime avatar, and a Nazi *pretending* to be a trans anarcho socialist with an anime avatar?" "Well," she says, "you can't. Anonymous is anonymous is anonymous, whether it's on 4chan or Twitter."

And I'm honestly not sure she's still talking about me at this point? Because literally none of those things apply to me?

1) I don't specifically identify as an anarcho socialist. I don't specifically identify as *any* particular political micro label. I just don't really find it useful.

2) This account has *never* been anonymous. It has *always* had my name on it.

3) This is not an anime avatar. This is something I drew in, like, 2015, when I was playing around with a bunch of different brushes in FireAlpaca.

4) Although I don't use them as my avatar, I *have* posted selfies here.

5) If I *did* use them as my avatar, well, you didn't fucking censor anyone's avatars in this video. Not even the ones that actually *are* real people's actual photos. So, if my face *was* my avatar, you would have just shown my face to a *million* people and counting, *immediately* before saying I might be a Nazi *and* a fake trans person.

You want to talk about abusive, TERF-y tactics? How about that?

How about stalking the tweets of an autistic trans person with 600 followers, screencapping them out of context, broadcasting them to a literal fucking *million* a *million* of your own fucking fans, and telling them all that the autistic trans person is the "real" Nazi and also maybe not even really trans? How about fucking that? Like, I'm not sure if you *are* talking about me, because, factually, all of this is fucking bullshit. But it certainly *sounds* like you're talking about me.

'Cause you haven't changed gears at all. I'm still the last person you quoted, you're still in the same "bit," and you're still responding to the thing I brought up. Like, really, this has two potential outcomes.

a) People take what you're saying at absolute face value and cheer you on as you take down the faceless fake trans person you've turned me into, or

b) They Google the tweets you so, *so* helpfully provided the *full* fucking text for, find my actual Twitter page, and then, whoops, all of a sudden, I have Contra stans on my Twitter page.

Like, let me lay this out. Those tweets in the video have all been up for two months already. They've been up. They've been out there. They've been seen. They're old news, more or less. And, yes, when they were new, I got hate. Yes, I got abuse. Yes, I even got other big YouTubers, reactionary dipshits like Peter Coffin and shoe0nhead, "liking" posts that talked shit about me. (That's why I went ahead and blocked as many of Peter's followers as it would let me).

But nothing like this.

I've been in protected mode for two days straight.

Nothing's ever done that before.

Nothing's ever been that bad.

Not till this.

Not till you.

Did being featured in Contra's video result in a noticeable uptick in abuse and harassment directed my way?

Unmistakably, yes.

And I was soon as I went protected on Twitter, it started flowing over into my Tumblr. And that put me in the position of wondering where it was going to stop. Were they going to get my phone number? My address? My work?

Fun thoughts.

Fun, fun things I have to live with now. She closes out this segment by telling me, or this hypothetical thing she's created adjacent to me,

"Shut up and go back to K*w*f*rms, where you belong."

So.

Let me tell you.

I've never checked, because I know I wouldn't be able to handle if it I did, but I wouldn't be surprised if K*w*f*rms actually *had* a page about me.

I don't *know*. I don't *want* to know. But I wouldn't be super fucking surprised. [cw: suicide]

I'm autistic. I'm trans. I've always been *very* online, growing up, and for pretty much my entire fucking life (at least for the chunk of it that I can actually remember), I've had groups of people trying to goad me into suicide. I've seen whole fucking group chats where they fucking plan it.

So, yeah. I wouldn't be surprised. If I didn't have one before, I probably fucking do now. Oh, and then she notes,

"I'm saying this in the c*ntiest way. And they deserve it! They deserve the c*ntiness!" Gosh, I wonder why my DMs across two sites are full of abuse right now. Anyway, I can feel myself fading fast.

I might come back and talk about that Olly thing we put a pin in later.

Or I might just go on protected again.

We'll see how this shakes out. 

The fucking disgusting hypocrisy of Natalie Wynn of all people saying “Shut up and go back to K*w*f*rms, where you belong” when she by her own admission was raised on 4chan’s /lgbt/

As the linked facebook post summarizes:

“You want to talk about cancel culture and online mobs and disposability?Then let's talk about how ContraPoints just sicced days of harassment and stalking on a low profile trans person with no power, no money, no fame, and said something that will only certainly result in them getting a dedicated KiwiF page. She's going to get someone fucking killed (if she hasn't already)”

[whumpbby]

Hi! So this is kind of a random ask, but I know you have beta fish, and I’m considering getting one. I’ve had beta fish in the past, and despite educating myself on how to take care of them they haven’t lived very long, so I’m hoping you’ll be able to help me. For my past beta fish, I keep them in a five gallon tank (for clarification, I never had more than one beta fish at a time. So I didn’t have multiple of them in the tank don’t worry—they just all lived at different times in the same tank) that had a filter with a pretty low flow on it. I never saw any of the fish have problems swimming with it on. I always used a highly rated water purifying product for the tank water (I forgot what it’s actually called) and I never had any sharp plants that would hurt their fins. I fed them a little every two days because I heard that feeding them everyday was bad for them. Do you happen to know what I was doing wrong? It was frustrating for me because I put a lot of effort into keeping them alive and healthy and then I would see people who kept them in small half gallon bowls have their fish outlive mine. It’s been a couple years, and I want to get another, but I don’t want to accident hurt/kill another one. How do you care for your beta fish? Do you have any advice? Sorry about the rant, but I follow you for your Jason content and happened to stumble upon some of you fish posts and need help. Thanks so much for reading this, and if you do end up offering any advice, I want to thank you for that too!

Hi dear, sorry if I took long to answer - tumblr notoriously does not inform me of messages>> 

I understand your pain - especially that the situation with bettas is very frustrating. They tend to suffer from quite a few genetic defects (they are prone to tumours, for example) and are a very abused fish in the aquatic industry.  Oftentimes by the time they will get to a caring and dedicated owner, they’ve already went through a lot:0 We just don’t know how healthy the fish is before we got it. 

I am by no means an expert, I have lost a few babies since I started the hobby a couple years ago and I can only assume what a few of them suffered from:( One thing that seems to work is leaving them and the tank alone for as long as you can once it’s all set up and cycled and running - apart form the regular maintenance. I am a chronic fiddler who needs to change and add plants, filters, etc, so I constantly have to hold myself back form doing things to the tank. My sister has the same betta for a second year now and the only thing she does with her tank is water changes once every couple weeks - and both him and a thousand of cherry shrimp that live there thriveXD 

Some things I nowadays pay attention to that may be useful, however, are:

- water temp has to be consistent, on the warmer side. I keep mine at 26-27C (I don’t know how much that is in F, sorry>>). To that effect the tank needs a lid - it will trap the warm air, protecting the betta form inhaling cold air then they come up for a breath. They labyrinth breathing organ is quite sensitive to that.

- I feed my boys twice a day, so I am not a part of the ‘feed them little’ club. I give them a little pinch of the good flake in the morning (Bug Bites is nice) and a 3-4 granules of a King Betta or a pinch of a protein-rich micro pellets in the evening. A betta breeder I talked to a couple times advised that it’s better to feed the boys a couple times a day in small quantities rather than once - keeps their digestive tracts working and they can avoid constipation. Constipation happens often with bettas and is a headache to solve. I leave frozen bloodworms for special occasions and just rotate the dry foods for variety.  

- I change water every week - and every other week make sure to vacuum gravel the substrate. In the planted tanks I vacuum only about 2-3cm of the top layer to not disturb planting substrate below and not to suck up any shrimp, so it’s a gentle operation. In the gravel where there is no growing substrate I go deep - the reason being that I want to free any possible air bubbles stuck underneath where bad bacteria may grow. 

- Pick a filter and stick to it. I was very bad at that, but I finally managed to hotwire a combo that seems to work so I will stick to it;) If you can stand the noise, I advise a sponge filter - it’s so easy to clean and manageTT If you can’t stand the hum of the air pump and the bubbles, I recommend a matten filter - or hotwiring an internal filter to a sponge filter - like so - instruction in German, but the visuals are very self-explanatory;] I used gel superglue to connect the filterhead to a sponge filter and now all I have to do once a month or rarer is to pull the sponge off and squeeze it few times in the used tank water! And sometimes clean the showerhead from algae;] It saves you so much money on the cartridges (corner sponge filters are a couple £/$ and last years) and provides extra filtration. My shrimps also eat off it;] 

- get a snail. Seriously, I have a snail in every tank - a single nerite will do best for a 5gal. They don’t breed in sweet water, don’t grow large and will keep your glass clean for you - I have not cleaned my tanks’ glass since... ever>> Joe I and Joe II do it for meXD They also provide company for the betta and something fun to look at. And he will scarf uneaten food form the gravel. 

- I assume you know about the nitrogen cycle, so I will not bore you here about bacteria and such. But a best chance of saving the betta form stress when you get him home is a cycled tank. You can get an ammonia testing set - or, if you find that a bit intimidating (I do for some reason) you can go to an aquarist shop and they will check your water for you. My local store in town does it for free. I am not sure about big box stores, tho. If you see something being wrong with the betta, check water and see if it needs to be changed asap. 

- water changes are mandatory and have to be regular. A 5gal is a convenient size - I am using a 5l bottle left over from mineral water as a measuring tool;) This way I know I am always changing roughly 1/4th of the tank’s water. It’s very easy to see how much water I removed and how much I have to put back in - I can control the water temp and add dechlotinator/vitamins etc before it goes into the tank, so I do not shock my critters with too hot or too cold water. The rule I practice is leaving the dechlorinator in the bottle for about 10 mins before pouring it all into the tank. 

- you don’t have to be intimidated by planted tanks:) A little bunch of anubias on a stick is often enough to start with and a good look for a tank, in my opinion. It also makes for a more natural space for the betta he will certainly appreciate. The less fancy stuff the better - I got my first natural rocks form the side of the road (ofc I boiled the life out of them before they got even close to the tank) and they are usually quite cheap on amazon. A stick with a plant and a rock and some small-size gravel is often enough to look good. The plants will also help with eating up nitrites and keeping the water healthy.

- goodness, what else. Medicaiton. Ok. I have tried many meds for my boys and once the fish is in a bad way not much will help, form my experience :( My med set consists of Melafix - I add it to water according to instructions whenever I see my betta without appetite or acting off. It’s a mild anti-bacterial mixture that does not affect snails/shrimp. If that does not help, I use eSHa 2000 or eSHa Exit - they are two very comprehensive meds that deal with a variety of problems. I have never used aquarium salt, but some people swear by it - there’s no specific reason I don’t use it, I just never got around to it.  

This is all the chaotic advice, but things to remember (I am not trying to be condescending, I just don't know how much you know;]) are: cycled tank, regular water changes&filter maintenance, consistent temperature and quality food. Bettas are hardy little suckers, but sometimes they are also frail in ways we can’t see until it’s too late. I am already seeing a tumour growing on one of my boys and there is nothing I can do about it except giving him the best life I can - he is still going strong, but I know he will probably not last to the end of the year. It’s a hobby that sometimes seems thankless, but if you do everything right, even if they leave early, at least you’ve given them a good and peaceful time before that:)

If I you have any more questions or just want to share woes, feel free to message, I will do my best to answer:)

[wolfgrowlwrites]

Tribe of Rushing Water Analysis

Since people were curious both on my thoughts about the Tribe of Rushing Water in Canon and how I’ve rewritten them in my fic Ties that Bind, here’s the massive post on it. If you read this entire thing, thank you.

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Alright so I’m not much of an internet funnyman but I was an English Major and someone with a hyperfixation on the Warrior Cats series so it’s time to analyze the Tribe! The following post will include Spoilers for Watership Down (yeah the rabbit book, I’ll come back to this) and I will speak openly about the Warriors Series as a whole with the assumption that the people reading have already read the books in question. The goal of this is to discuss the Tribe’s narrative placement in the story, and what I’m doing with them in my rewrite.

Now Warriors was originally just going to be one book, and then six, and then first three books of the second arc. The weird effects this has on the narrative and tone is best explored elsewhere, but I bring this up because Midnight, Moonrise and Dawn were meant to be a trilogy ending the series. And this trilogy was based on nothing other than Watership Down, all of which is important to consider when we talk about the Tribe. The Tribe was meant to only appear briefly, which means there was no need for fleshing them out, and they are the Warriors parallel of Cowslip’s Warren.

For those of us who haven’t read Watership Down, it is a story about a bunch of rabbits who have a prediction of the destruction of their home and set out on a quest to find a new one. (Sounds familiar right?) One of the dangers they run into along the way is what originally appears to be a friendly warren run by a rabbit named Cowslip. The rabbits immediately find themselves on edge, as while this warren is exceptionally friendly there is the underlying evidence that something is wrong. When they ask questions the natives to the burrow deflect and dance around answering, and while their customs seem similar, they’re different enough to be unsettling. Behold, I’ve described the Tribe in Moonrise. And like the Tribe, the fact that Cowslip’s Warren is hiding is that there’s something extremely dangerous hunting them. Cowslip’s warren is being maintained by humans who are actively snaring the rabbits, and the Tribe has Sharptooth who is also hunting them. In fact, the snares almost kill one of the traveling rabbits, while Feathertail does end up dying to Sharptooth.

(Thank god I’m doing this on Tumblr not Twitter, god this thread would be unbearable.)

(For those who have read Watership Down, Brook is probably supposed to be Strawberry.)

So narratively, the Tribe are there to be a hinderance to the traveling cats who seem friendly and similar to them but have a danger to them that will put the traveling cats at risk. That is the role they’re meant to play, and as the series was meant to end after Dawn, the Erins didn’t need to flesh the Tribe out really beyond that.

But then money and the publishers spoke and the series continued and we returned to the Tribe except uh… huh. Honestly I kinda don’t want to get into this because it’s the same thing every time. The Tribe, who when we first meet them are described as huge and able to fight eagles, and are well adapted for life on the mountains, have encountered some problem and only the Clan cats can save them. Rinse and repeat. And as someone who has attempted to figure out the Tribe’s Allegiances, if you thought they were bad about remembering details for the Clans oh boy. For specific citations of the Tribe needs the Clans help, oh no, please see Moonrise, Outcast, Sign of the Moon, and Tawnypelt’s Clan. Sign of the Moon in particular because a Clan cat straight up choses the Tribe’s new leader. Can you imagine how the Clans would react if a Tribe cat tried that?

But it’s okay right because of the whole time-travel thing which means that Jayfeather actually founded the Tribe and named the first Stoneteller. I could write an entire essay on how much I hate this plot point, but that’s not the point here. The more important part is that some how the Tribe went from names like Stone Song, Half Moon, Lion’s Roar, Clear Sky, Gray Wing, etc. to names like Brook where Small Fish swim. I, as a white guy, don’t want to touch the racism there, I’m pretty sure other people have explained it better than I can, but the short version is that a group named the Tribe with names like Jagged Rock where Heron Nest comes off like a stereotype for Native Americans, at least from my white American experience. So, uh, solid yikes on that one, especially when those aren’t even the names they use (because of course not they’re a fucking mouthful) which gets to the world building point I’m gonna touch on instead.

The Ancients become the Tribe but somehow the names grow so long that they all have to go by nicknames that… almost resemble what Ancient names were to begin with? I understand this is because the Tribe’s naming convention got established before the time loop thing, but honestly, there is no reason they should’ve been named like that and in fact more reasons why they shouldn’t have. Between the racism and then from a writing perspective, what is the point, of having names like that if they’re never used? Like narratively it makes no sense from the start, and the Time Travel plot only makes that more obvious.

All that said, I actually super adore the Tribe! I wish they’d been handled differently in a lot of places but they had so much potential to be cool that got lost along the way. So thus, we come to my rewrite. If you’re just here for Tribe Analysis you’re free to go, but if you’re here for how I’m rewriting the Tribe than settle in.

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In my rewrite the Tribe has Ancient names from the get go, because it makes more sense and allows for the Tribe to serve its original narrative function, that is, a place similar to what the Clan Cats are used enough to be comfortable, but different enough to be unsettling. The Tribe has ancestors not unlike StarClan but I have the Tribe’s worship working very differently. Stone Tellers are raised from birth to serve as a guiding force for the Tribe because they are the ones that can speak to the ancestors, and every full moon, when the Cave of Pointed Stones glows, they lead their tribe to speak with their ancestors, in something not unlike a gathering, but it is meant to be a form of remembrance, as they are sharing news with their ancestors instead.

The Tribe has very extreme views of their ancestors, refusing to take the Tribe of Endless Hunting’s name in vain. It is also believed that a Tribe cat that has passed cannot move on to the Tribe of Endless Hunting until a final task has been completed. This task is something the cat would’ve wanted to do while alive, but didn’t get to, so now one of their family, or a close friend, does it in their place. (To a reasonable extent, for example telling someone that the cat who died was in love with them, not settling down with them to raise a family because that’s what the dead cat wanted to do.) Those who have not moved on linger as ghosts. They don’t have stars in their pelts, and they don’t have the ability to see the future to warn their Tribemates the way StarClan or the Tribe of Endless Hunting do. They are capable of speaking to those who can see them, usually Stone Teller, but otherwise they tend to simply watch and wait for someone to help them move on.

The Tribe believes that the future is chosen by the Tribe of Endless Hunting, to challenge their omens is the most heretical thing a cat can do. The current Stone Teller decides a cat’s future when they are born, Cave-guard, Prey-Hunter, or rarely, the next Stone Teller. Those kits are taken by the current Stone Teller once they’re old enough to be weaned and raised in the Cave of Pointed Stones. Their name is chosen by the current Stone Teller and stripped from them when they become the next Stone Teller. Stone Teller is meant to be the ancestor’s conduit to the living and an impartial leader to the Tribe. However, not every leader can live up to those expectations, and should the Tribe begin to doubt the current Stone Teller’s capability to guide them, they can make a new cat leader. This cat would do the job of leading the Tribe, while Stone Teller continues to serve as the medicinal and spiritual leader. This rarely happens, and when it does it is rarely so clean cut, as no one particularly enjoys admitting they’ve made a mistake and need to be replaced as leader.

The Stone Teller is assisted in leading the Tribe by the head of the Cave-Guards and the head of the Prey-Hunters, these are seen as the cats that are best at that job and capable of quick decision making and good judgement calls. They often work together to organize hunting patrols and discuss issues in the territory, often presenting Stone Teller with their solutions alongside problems.

Honestly the Tribe won’t be playing a very large role in my rewrite as a whole, but since they have an entire arc dedicated to them, I wanted to make sure I had them well fleshed out. There’s a few details I’ve left out because this is long enough, but if you’re curious about anything I’ve said either about the Tribe or my rewrite, hit me up.

[violetosprey]

Is possible to even have a healthy relationship with a yandere? 🩸 🔪

Hey there.  I’m going to go ahead and assume this is a question regarding fictional yanderes because that’s what this blog focuses on.

Now people who’ve read a little into this tumblr before know I tend to lean more towards the “romance turned horror” kinds of yandere stories where the yandere in question is definitely the antagonist.  In those, yeah those won’t be healthy relationships being shown (I don’t call it horror for nothing).

Despite this, the answer to your question I’d actually say is: Yes.

Remember, you said “healthy,” not “normal.”  There IS a difference.  While yandere behavior can get a little strange and excessive, that behavior itself might not ALWAYS negatively impact the overall relationship.  And yes, while there are plenty of yandere who definitely don’t exhibit healthy boundaries a relationship needs, it’s not impossible to adjust a yandere so that the relationship between them and their S/O is not only enjoyable, but also functional.

What is a healthy relationship first of all?  Well it’s kind of odd for me to be answering this since most of my important relationships are more familial or platonic.  But the same rules should apply here I think.

The participants in a relationship should:

-        Have good communication

-        Be there for each other

-        Give healthy space when necessary

-        Stand on equal footing (respect wise definitely)

-        Be able to compromise

-        Not harm one another mentally/physically intentionally

Some of those ideas kind of blend together but I think you get the idea.  Now already just from that you can spot why yanderes can potentially be a bad suitor.  We’ve seen yanderes who stalk, ignore/fight back against rejection, kidnap and straight up murder for their cause.  Doesn’t really scream “dream boyfriend/girlfriend” in the most realistic sense.  

The big thing to remember though is not all of the extremely negative behavior of a yandere CAN have is mutually exclusive to yanderes.  Meaning, you don’t have to have a yandere character whose knife crazy or even all that threatening honestly.

One obvious thing to do is just tone down a yandere character. You can keep a lot of crazy lovesick stuff they do: take secret photos of their S/O, have a big shrine, talk endlessly or almost exclusively about their S/O, glare at the opposition (there is a BIG difference also between a character who has threatening thoughts vs. one that ACTS upon said threats), etc.  Again, this certainly would make the relationship seem weird from the outside due to how enthralled the yandere is.  But as long as the behavior there is not really too disruptive for either the S/O OR the yandere in their daily lives, it doesn’t necessarily make it bad.

If the behavior exhibited by the yandere doesn’t cause the S/O extreme mental stress or disrupt their daily routine (like school, work or even pastimes), then no harm no foul.

This may be because the S/O is unperturbed by the behavior, or actually is very into it.  Of course, for a healthy relationship the S/O needs to reciprocate the yandere’s feelings. That’s super obvious to state I know, but I need to emphasize that because one of the biggest reasons a yandere can end up as the antagonist of a story is because the S/O doesn’t WANT to be with the yandere.  There can be many reasons for that, but a rejected yandere can take a “no” very badly.

I should also mention that a receptive S/O ALONE is not enough to declare the relationship automatically healthy.  There are people for instance who stay in a relationship with…well someone who they obviously shouldn’t.  Hence why toning down some of the yandere’s behavior so they’re not outright dangerous for the S/O to be with is still a huge factor here.

Oh! I know it’s always common to first and foremost consider the S/O’s safety when we’re talking about yanderes.  But just for fun I should also state it TECHNICALLY is possible for a yandere’s relationship with an S/O to be unhealthy more-so for the yandere rather than the S/O.  Most people probably don’t even consider this (I don’t).  But if for instance the yandere is the type of character that is just so incredibly focused on the needs and happiness of the S/O, their behavior may become self-destructive.  For instance, they quit their job to follow the S/O around all day.  They get extreme anxiety they can’t overcome whenever they’re apart from the S/O.  Or they won’t EAT or SLEEP because they’re too lovesick to literally think about their own needs.  Fun fact, that last one came to mind because I was watching a bunch of random episodes of “Archie’s Weird Mysteries” that I used to watch when I was younger.  That’s probably the strangest reference I ever made, but that show is the only reason I even know what the heck Riverdale is supposed to be about.  But yeah, there was an episode where one of the girls wanted to get Archie to love her more and it makes him so lovesick he literally starts neglecting his own health.

So yeah, not a topic tackled often, but a healthy relationship for a yandere and an S/O should be for both ends.  If they’re well written characters, they should be able to stand a bit on their own when apart from the S/O.

In the event anyone was curious if you could have a healthy yandere relationship WITHOUT toning down the yandere…well I think that really depends on how an author writes the story and characters as a whole. With fiction, you can get pretty creative with the scenarios.  Not just with the yandere, the S/O could be a rather “unique” character themselves.  I don’t really have any good examples off the top of my head, but the relationship could be something where any other normal character wouldn’t work with the yandere, but something about the S/O makes them a perfect match.  This may be due to their personality, backstory or even special abilities they have.

You can also set up outside conflicts that make the relationship with the yandere seem a lot more endearing than it normally would.  Bringing up Future Diary (again), remember Yuki thought Yuno was initially cute but was rather unsettled by some of her behavior.  If it was kept in the normal school life setting, he probably would have kept running away from her.  But the main plot of Future Diary was a survival game that he was not ready for initially.  Yuno’s dedication to him while there are other characters out for blood suddenly made Yuno GOOD for his health.  It was safer for him to be with her, and then this gave the two an opportunity to actually bond overtime under these unusual circumstances.

It’s never a bad idea to give some time for the bond to grow. In a fictional story, the audience will have an easier time warming up to the characters as a couple if they’ve been able to see who they develop together.

Otherwise, you could start right off with the characters already in a relationship.  I know I’ve seen some comedies where this is the case, and it’s always fun to see how the two characters interact in a daily routine.

That’s all I got for now. Hope that works!

[siriusist]

 tagged by @anathenma WOO GIRL <3

rules: tag 10 followers you want to get to know better

name: Lauren

gender: Female

star sign: Virgo Sun || Leo Moon || Leo Ascendent, which basically means I have the usually quiet reserved personality of an analytical, organised virgo on the fact of things, am usually the goofy, chill friend amongst my friends, and don’t like to take anyone’s shit, but if I am disrespected, I’m a sensitive six foot flower and withdraw from the world until I can get over it. xD I don’t like conflict.

height: 183cm/6 feet 

age: 27 (YIKES XD)

wallpaper on my phone: (I had to check XD) A calendar of May 2020 stylistically arranged around ribbons

house: Slytherin

ever crush on a teacher: Both my parents and my uncle are teachers and consequently I knew every teacher in my school as actual human people and not ‘crushes’ growing up. So no. XD

coolest halloween costume: I went as the Starbucks logo one year when I was eight, a gigantic Lady Luck die one year with a top hat covered in poker chips and cards. I had some good ones I made: I was creative as fuck when I was 9-11 especially, and I had to be, because I was already around 5′7 and people assumed I was just some weirdo dressing up to get candy (Hearing ‘AREN’T YOU A LITTLE OLD TO BE TRICK OR TREATING’ at eleven CRUSHED me XD)

Favorite 90s tv show: 

Okay. So there’s one’s I watched actually as a child of the 90s, and ones that were just always ON in the 90s that I ended up watching. It’s debatable whether these are actually good NOW. XD

That being said, the background ones were Saved By the Bell (ZACH MORRIS IS TRAAAAassssh~~), Boy Meets World, Seinfeld, Everybody Loves Raymond.

As a kid, I loved the Aladdin Animated Series, The Hercules Animated Series, CHIP AND DALE RESCUE RANGERS (Which didn’t really hold up sadly but still has the best theme song of all time, fight me), and Timon and Pumbaa.

One I rarely caught but really liked was All That, The Wonder Years, Sabrina the Teenage Witch- occasionally Fresh Prince.

Out of all of these, I still have a super fond spot for Saved By the Bell, especially with the ‘Zach Morris is Trash’ series on Youtube (Seriously, go watch it. It’s fucking hilarious and basically breaks down how much of a serial killer in the making Zach Morris is XD). The clothing is ridiculous and no one really dressed like that in the early 90s outside of commercials and TV (unfortunately). Maybe one shoddy item out of the bunch. Meanwhile Saved by the Bell is like LETS PUT IT ALL ON. XD It was terrible once they got to college, but it was stupid and fun and made me feel ‘cool’ watching it because I was like three and being like, “YEAH, IT’S BRIGHT AND THESE PEOPLE ARE COOL AND I CAN FOLLOW THE PLOT. I’M MATURE.” XD It’s literally still the only one of these I actively watch now in the form of Zach Morris is Trash, so I’ll go with it. xD

Last kiss: Never had a consensual kiss. Make of that what you will. xD

Have you ever been stood up: Nope.

Favourite pair of shoes: 

I have terrible plantar fasciitis from sports, so I’m a shoe snob, and have to have properly fitting/constructed shoes. It depends on what I’m doing in them, really. I got a pair of trail running shoes for trail running during COVID, but they’re not the most aesthetically pleasing. I’d say the best mixture between comfort and style are either a good ol’pair of black ankle boots with a slight heel (so I can be 6′2 and intimidate people with my height muhahahaha), or more practically on a day to day basis, I have a pair of Reeboks that are 90s-styled with pastel pink and blue triangles on the side. They’re pretty dope. xD

have you ever been to vegas: No, but my parents have. Basically, they said you tire of shopping after two days, and then you’re just stuck inside hotels and shopping malls there. If you’re not a gambler, drinker, or have a ton of money to splash out on stage shows, I don’t think it’s particularly worth going.

favorite fruit: Mango or raspberry, but they’re super-expensive in the land of Maple Syrup so I usually don’t get them any other way other than frozen in smoothies.

Favourite book:

 I could never choose a favourite book. It’s literally like choosing between children. It’s my microcosmic version of Sophie’s Choice. xD Tasteless joke aside, it’d honestly depend on the occasion. There’s a huge difference between entertainment reading, literary exploits, and educating yourself through books as a whole. 

My ‘plane’ book (which I’m terrible at flying, so that was a joke), as in, an easy, fun, instantly rereadable read to read on the plane when I used to have super long fifteen hour flights to Australia, was always Mario Puzo’s ‘The Godfather,’ because I also had a huge crush on Michael Corleone. 

But it’s also not the ‘best’ book and literally spends an inordinate and honestly disturbing amount of time on the fact that this poor woman in the story (which thankfully in the film, it gets cut down), but the bridesmaid Sonny Corleone has sex with, and how you see his wife indicating his ‘size’?

THAT’S LITERALLY AN ENTIRE SUBPLOT OF THIS BROAD’S STORY I SHIT YOU NOT BECAUSE NOTHING IS ‘BIG’ ENOUGH FOR HER AFTER HIM AND THEN YOU FIND OUT SHE HAS A MEDICAL CONDITION AND GOOD FOR HER SHE’S ABLE TO FIND LOVE AGAIN BUT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MARIO PUZO XD IT WAS A LOT OKAY.

(Footnote: I also suffered through his horrific sequels because I love Michael Corleone and will take him in any form he comes in, even horrifically written Sicilian backhill exploits that were never told to us in the original book and were clearly just written because Puzo needed another pay check but I digress.)

Horrific subplots aside, I really enjoy The Godfather for its sheer pulpiness. The book is essentially what Andrew Lloyd Weber is to musicals. xD (Yes, I come with musical theatre burns. Fight me.)

In terms of a piece of literature that I think is amazingly well done? Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe, or Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury.

Stupidest thing you ever done: 

Um, maybe when I was at Cambridge I tried to dye my roots to match the rest of my ‘blonde’ hair at the time, and it turned out bright orange? And because it’s Cambridge, they had this super-strict attendance policy, so I was literally trying not to hyperventilate because it was running close to class (which was across campus) and I was trying to find some way to remedy my hair without it falling out/ someone asking about it. So, I grabbed a toque-cap-thing despite it being literally one of the hottest summer on record in the UK (It was like 35 degrees, it was MENTAL), and had to sprint to class all the way on the other side of campus from my college dodging dodgy tourist groups blocking the sidewalk while I went. Then when I sat down inside, I had to be weirdly rude and wear my hat inside the lecture hall even though the professor was looking at me (it was a specialised program in German Literature) like, “Are you going to take that shit off?” xD THEN I tried to dye it back to brown, and it literally looked like mud mixed with a runny egg had exploded on the top of my head; it was AWFUL. XD So FINALLY I did my research and found a salon, but by THAT point I had done 250 pounds worth of damage to my hair (WHICH IS LIKE 400 DOLLARS CANADIAN AT THE TIME), and I almost had a heart attack and thanked my lucky stars that I had money put away so I could give my parents the ‘parent price’ when they asked why they hadn’t seen me on FaceTime or Skype for like, three weeks, and I replaced my face with a photo of John Cleese from Fawlty Towers, which they tease me about to this day. xD

The other dumbest thing I ever said was when I was so desperate for friends in grade six when I moved to a new school (and because being American was ‘cool’ at the time, apparently), I told everyone I was a dual citizen because my mother LITERALLY GAVE BIRTH TO ME ON THE BORDER CROSSING WHAT. XD And bless this poor bespectacled girl named Mara (who was actually a little class friend of mine), who just said timidly in the back, “That’s not how citizenship works.” xD It basically came out of attempting to be cool and failing, but I’m still SO embarrassed about THAT one that I’d never admit it to ANYONE besides shouting it out into the Tumblr black hole. xD I’m still embarrassed to THIS DAY.

All time favorite shows: 

 I���ll go for the original run of The Twilight Zone, which has some schmaltzy episodes (I’m really not a fan of any of the episodes entirely dedicated to the Space Race or the weird cowboy fanaticism of the fifties/ sixties, or anything that’s overtly like “ALIENS DID IT SO THERE”), but I LOVE their psychological horror episodes or Dystopian episodes. It’s when Rod Serling’s writing and narrative voice is the strongest and most prophetic, and the twists are usually the best. Other shows have tries to imitate it, or reboot it, but I really think the original, due to Rod Serling’s unmatchable voice, in every sense of the word. There’s lists of some of the greatest episodes, but I remember LOVING the episode ‘A Stop at Willoughby.’ The twist literally made me clap my hands in horror and delight, it was amazing. xD

Other than that? Off the top of my head, Mad Men and Band of Brothers, even though I haven’t rewatched either in ages.

last movie you saw in theaters: 

Oh God, before all THIS hit? Probably Rise of Skywalker. I get agoraphobic and itchy if a movie theatre is too busy, and we only have really pokey sort of ones nearby that you’re guaranteed to see someone you went to high school with (terrible), so now that I can properly drive I go out to the big redneck theatre out in the boonies. I miss living in Montreal though, because when you live in a big city like that downtown (and can actually afford to live there), you could see blockbuster movies at like ten in the morning. xD Which would be AMAZING because I’d go to see any of the early Avengers/Marvel movies when they opened, the day of opening, and it was literally me, one old man who fell asleep halfway through and sat near the back, and maybe an elderly couple on a morning date to the movies. xD I get really annoyed with obnoxious movie-goers, and I’m really picky about just being completely absorbed in the movie, so I tend not to go unless I’m guaranteed that space. 

tagging: Anyone who wishes to tag me back so I can learn about them <3

[the-prophet-lemonade]

do you have any advice on getting a story to be seen? i made an ao3 account not too long ago so no one has seen my fic at the moment but i was wondering if you had any tips on that, or would i just have to wait?

hello! i can’t claim to know what makes a fic popular as it’s 99% luck, but i can speak for the remaining 1% that has worked ~reasonably~ well for me in the past. 

i think there are three key elements to getting a fic “seen”: marketing, branding, and presentation, and they’re all very important. this post got very long, so please find everything under the cut! i hope it helps :-) 

i. marketing

fic marketing may seem a bit narcissistic if you haven’t done it before, but trust me on this: it’s the best way to attract readers and you deserve to promoted your story as something you worked hard upon!

drumming up hype for a fic is great. you can do this by posting on social media, providing sneak peaks on your twitter, involving yourself in the fandom community and discussing your wips with other fans, and just generally being excited about what you’re creating. engaging with other people’s writing is also a great method to help boost your own stats … get involved with reading other work and leaving comments for other people, because they will be more likely to return the favour! when someone comments on my fics, i often go and check out their profile and see what they’ve written, as it’s highly likely we enjoy the same things! 

making promos is one of my favourite ways to engage with people about fics. once i post a fic/new chapter to ao3, i also crosspost promo posts with links and graphics to my twitter and tumblr. you will need a good hook to get people interested, but also an eye-catching image that summarises the story pictorially can be a great asset (you don’t even need photoshop, just a nice moodboard will do!). when using images however, it’s always important to think how the image size will appear in tumblr’s dimensions and on your own blog … make sure it’s not stretched or the resolution too low, and create something with a good visual flow i.e. the title appears first, then the necessary information, then any teasers or extracts. you need to make your fic post stand out on someone else’s timeline, which may already be filled with a bunch of other fic posts, jostling for attention. make it neat, clean, informative, and professional.

make sure to use the tagging systems efficiently for your chosen social media platforms: only the first five tags count on a tumblr post, so choose them wisely (i.e. use the key fandom tags first and save your personal blog tags for after), and only two hashtags count on twitter before it’s marked as spam, so go for the ship tag!

creating your own fic tag on twitter can also be fun, and i’ve seen a lot more people doing it lately too. you can encourage people to tweet along with a specialised hashtag and then you can find their reaction and engage with them later, which once again expands your fandom circle and will increase engagement on tweets associated with your fic.  

another trick i’ve learned is utilising time zones and understanding the demographics of the audience you’re trying to reach. i am very careful to post my fics at certain times of day in order to reach key people e.g. i will try to hit either europeans or americans during the evening, as this is when most people are home from work and wanting to read fic. as a european myself, especially involved in fandoms with high levels of european fans, i usually post during the early evening for CET time zones i.e. 7 or 8 pm and i tend to find this works for me. 

with tumblr, i often delay my promo posts so that i post when it’s likely to get maximum interaction (you can see when your blog is most active using your tumblr analytics) … use your queue if need be! 

i also take care in reblogging/retweeting my promo posts at certain times of day too. i will usually bump the post just before i go to bed, so as to grab americans in their early evening, and then i will bump it again in the morning when i wake up, to catch australians and west coast americans still awake. i then usually keep bumping my promos once a day for two or three days on my social media to cast a wide enough net to catch as many people who might be interested, as not everyone checks their timeline every day and social media swallows up posts so quickly, especially tumblr which is not built for original content creators to do well (lol). i will usually bump a promo post 5 - 7 times before retiring it and this is a model that’s worked well for me in the past, especially for droplets, which would get 500+ notes per chapter!  if you’re anxious about this, know that most people will only see your post once or twice because tumblr moves fast and swallows posts up very quickly, and sometimes people need reminders to read if they decide to save things for later when they have more time

ii. branding

the benefits of branding mainly come from experience, so it’s a tricky thing to utilise if you haven’t published fic before … but there are still tricks worth trying! 

certain fic writers will attract readers to new fics just because their name is attached to it, and people know the sort of story they’re getting, they know how it’ll be written, the sort of tropes that will appear, that sort of thing. obviously, building up this sort of brand requires publishing a lot of work, and so it must be said that practice makes perfect: the more you write and publish, the more your fics will be seen and your audience will grow. people will regularly see your username in the tags on ao3 and be more inclined to click on you as someone who reliably produces good content. it’s important to remember that everyone starts from the same place and works hard to improve their craft; success doesn’t just come overnight (unless you’re in the right place at the right time) and any creator will tell you that compliments to their talent aren’t what matters, but instead, it’s compliments to their dedication and hard graft. 

another key thing about branding is how you present yourself online. the most important thing in my opinion is cohesion across your social media platforms e.g. having the same username on ao3 as you do on tumblr/twitter/wherever you promote your fic. having an easily navigatable blog with working hyperlinks and archiving of your fic work is also great. basically, building a clean interface for people to engage with your work is vital! having the same icon and username across all your social media makes it so much easier for readers to navigate between your fics and your promo posts … basically, the easier you can spell something out, the better

branding is mostly to do with how you advertise yourself, rather than the particular fic, although much of it overlaps. get your name out there by engaging with other writers and making friends and appreciating their work! this is often the best way to get inspired, plus you get to meet some amazing people. i recommend trying out for zines and big bangs and writing challenges, as these are good ways to show your work to already-established audiences. also, make yourself available by interacting with commentors or by opening up your inbox on tumblr to anons. try linking your social media and your inbox as hyperlinks in the authors note of your fic

iii. presentation

this is really fundamental and is often the main reason people will close out of your fic and not read to the end. people want to read fics that are easy to digest and have had care put into them. this includes a lot of things:

correct tagging i.e. are the tags coherent and not just rambling? are there appropriate trigger warnings in place? have you unnecessarily tagged every side pairing under the sun, rather than just the main relationship?

grammar and spelling. goes without saying … people are more likely to read things that look professional and have had care poured into their preparation. make sure you know how to use speech punctuation. revise how to use commas. avoid epithets (especially racially-aggravated ones). get yourself a beta if you’re worried, because betas are godsends!

paragraphing. so many people will close out of a fic if it isn’t correctly spaced. double spaced paragraphs look best on ao3 and i often won’t read a fic if the paragraphs are too long because it hurts my eyes to read. make sure you’re starting new speakers in new paragraphs. new ideas deserve new paragraphs. basically, every time the “camera” changes, you should be starting a new paragraph. not just a new line. 

summaries. i see so many fics on ao3 with summaries that are either apologising for being bad at summaries or apologising for a fic being bad/being a first fic, and like … stop this! own what you have written, no-one else will have written it the way you have and you should be proud of it. if you’re saying in your summary that it’s a bad fic, i’m not going to click on it as a reader. instead, utilise your summary to get people hooked … good hooks can be written a load of different ways, but the best ones i see often involved a snippet from the fic as a taster, and then a couple lines of blurb. get people excited! 

titles: i’m personally more likely to click on a fic where the title is either (a) correctly capitalised or (b) is clearly chosen for its aesthetic or meaning (i love long lower case titles with parentheses lol). choosing a memorable title is really helpful, especially one that can be shortened or abbreviated for social media (e.g. for hashtags)!

all this being said, traffic on ao3 is a crytpid at best and obeys little in the way of rhyme or reason. you can put blood, sweat and tears into marketing your fic, but sometimes, just being in the right place at the right time (writing for the right niche) is what does it, so being a fic writer requires a lot of patience. first and foremost, write for yourself. write what you want to read and enjoy doing it, because if you get sucked into obsessively checking stats, it’s only going to disappoint when you don’t achieve what you want to achieve. 

just keep persevering and keep writing and appreciating each and every person who takes time in interact with your fic and its promos … because ultimately, all it takes it that one reader to fall head over heels in love with your fic for everything to change. for now, just be proud of your work and keep writing!

[buckyywiththegoodhair]

Good Hair, Better Fics (Best of 2017 Edition)

We made it y’all - the last day of 2017. It somehow feels like this year dragged on for far too long and flew by all at once. Through it all, there were countless fics that made this this year a bearable one. Fics that deserve to be placed in the spotlight alongside authors who deserve all the thanks in the world. 

In order to do just that, I’ve listed a bunch of fics below and decided to include my reactions to each one. This is gonna get long.

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Salvation | @marvelingatthewonder​

Amberly, I don’t know if you’re going to see this or not, but I need you to know that I never got over the excellence of this fic. Never. And I don’t thing I ever will. You showed us the relationship between the reader and Bucky not through their words, but through their thoughts and actions. And that moment when Bucky realized someone out there could care about him? I’ll never forget the way my heart sang.

Faithfully | @avengerofyourheart

‘Faithfully’ is a song that owns m heart. It’s one of those songs where, if it comes up on a shuffle, I’m not allowed to skip (not that I’d want to). So, when I saw you wrote a fic based off of the song with Rockstar!Bucky? I was floating on clouds. And I continued to float on those clouds throughout the entirety of this well-written fic with an even better plot. Now when I hear this song, I think of this fic and you.

Cheap Thrills | @avengerofyourheart​​

Gosh. I remember reading this fic and practically dancing in my seat. I had to refrain (probably because I was around people), but when I get too happy to put into words, dancing is my go-to option. That’s what your writing and this wonderfully fun fic did to me. 

New Beginnings | @redgillan​​

The realism of this fic was killer, Maisie. Whenever I think about it, the first thing that comes to mind is “bittersweet”. The second is “what if?”. You gave us the perfect combination of both when hitting ‘Post’, sharing this gift with the rest of us and making the conscious decision not to write a sequel. Happy endings aren’t guaranteed and knowing that the reader and Bucky just missed out on what could’ve been a beautiful relationship alongside the hints that all of the friendships you wrote about don’t make it out unscathed was something tangible. Something I could relate to and i thank you for that.

When Everything’s Made to be Broken (I Just Want You to Know Who I Am) | @cassiopeiassky​

My darling, Cass. In my eyes, this isn’t a Tumblr series. It’s so much more than that. It’s a novel that I’ve been lucky enough to find for free online (even though I’d be more than happy to pay to have this on my shelf). The depth of each and every character you’ve included is impeccable. The emotions you write about are raw and real and I feel them. Whenever I start a new part, I kid you not when I say that my heart starts and stops, clenches and thumps away happily. This is what you and your writing do to me.

Roses | @rotisserierogers​

You broke my heart, Kumi. I’m not sure if you’re aware of that, but you did. Your writing and this fic did that to me. “Is it possible to win a girl’s heart in a day?” I’m convinced that the answer to this is yes because it took approximately 1.3k words for you to win my heart and then proceed to break it.

ocean eyes | @whothehellisbella​

Angelic Isabella, you stunned me with this fic. Not because I was surprised you could write something so beautiful (you do it on the regular), but because of how perfect it was. Finding the right words is never easy, I’m sure every writer is fully aware of that, but you somehow managed. You wrangled the English language as if you were a farmhand and it was a wild horse and you made it bend to your will and calm down under your touch. I don’t know if this makes sense so, if it doesn’t please know this fic meant the world to me. And it really is something I could read every day without growing tired of it.

Lovebug | @thewinterswimmer​

I have never forgotten this fic. I will never forget it because it is one of the best things i have ever read. You evoked every possible emotion out of me. When I say you took my breath away, I hope you know that’s not an exaggeration. I could feel the time and effort you put into this and I hope you know how appreciative I am of it.

The Ink of My Heart | @theassetseyeliner​

This was easily one of the most unique fics I’ve ever read. I was intrigued by the concept and you kept my interest for the entirety of everything you wrote. Also, you made me realize something I never realized before - I would very greatly appreciate having a tattoo artist!Bucky in my life.

Intertwined | @theassetseyeliner​​

Erin, my love. I am a sucker for royal!au’s and this one in particular was so damn adorable. I can’t tell you how excited I was when I saw the word count for this. It was the perfect length with all the best details and all the most fluffy things going. Just writing about it now makes me want to go back and read it and I think I’m going to do just that.

Home | @spee-iderman​

These days, people make it a habit to refer to things as ‘soft’. You yourself used it in your summary for this fic. And, let me tell you, you did not lie. In this world you created around Bucky and the reader, everything is soft. If I had to compare this fic to an object, it’d be a blanket or a fireplace or anything else that could be used to keep me warm because that’s exactly how my heart felt while reading it. Warm and happy. 

If I’d Stayed | @soldatbarnes​

Nikki, my love. This fic. THIS FIC. What you did with it was you took my heart, which I willingly handed over to you, and smashed it in the most beautiful way possible - with your words. That ending where he’s at her tombstone and he thinks about her refusing to let him go off to war without taking his last name because she wanted him to know she was waiting for him, no matter what?? Killer. You’re much more talented than you give yourself credit for.

Flirt | @soldatbarnes​​

This fic is exactly what I wish would happen to my shy-as-hell self. You captured the whole shyness, being a terrible flirt thing to a tee. I couldn’t just sit back and read this. I had to sit back, read it, and nod along like crazy because I knew exactly where the reader was coming from. And the fact that I couldn’t stop nodding? Well I’d say that speaks volumes about your abilities as a writer.

Hearts Entwining | @lovingkatsuki

Jade, there’s something about your writing. Something I struggle to put into words every time I come across one of your fics. Something I’m struggling to do right now as I think back to how I felt while reading this fic. But here I am, convinced that this will be the time that I finally find a way to properly express myself. I’ve never been to a ballet, but I can imagine that people keep their eyes trained the stage with bated breath as delicate excellence unfolds right in front of their eyes. Hopefully what I just said makes sense because that’s how it felt to read this. 

roygbiv | @marvelous-fiction​

The idea to use colors to describe a person’s feelings is such a brilliant idea and I’m certain that no one could have done this as well as you did. You made me look at the colors in a whole new light and you did it so beautifully. I could feel the love that the reader and Bucky had for each other. And you accomplished that in 1,100 words - I hope you know how impressive that is.

The Five Times You Caught Bucky Blushing | @mindingmyownbusiness​​

Elizabeth, this series of yours is the definition of adorable. I remember sitting at my kitchen table reading through the whole thing with the biggest smile on my face. You know there’s the whole notion of people having ‘feel-good’ things (shows, movies, books, etc.) that make them happy? That’s exactly what this fic was to me.

open letter | @bookybuns​​

Heartbreak is such a complex subject. How does one write about it in a way that is relatable? Understood by an audience who have (potentially) experienced this very emotion, all to varying degrees? Well apparently you, my darling Blade have the answer to this question. You wrote this piece, gave us the juxtaposition of happiness and pain and somewhere in between it all, took my heart with you. And of course, you accomplished such a feat in the most stunning, eloquent way possible.

Bring It to You | @thewinterswimmer​

When I think back on this fic, I remember how well you portrayed Bucky and his general tiredness. You didn’t spend much time describing him and yet, with the small amount of words you did dedicate to him, wow. I felt his exhaustion, which made it that much better when the reader came to save the day. And your descriptions of the reader and Bucky together? Holy hell. I haven’t reread the fic since reblogging it, but I still clearly remember your description of the look in his eyes when he was looking at the reader. And the fact that I remember that really is a testament to your writing.

Like Rose | @viollettes​

Being a beta-reader for your writing was one of the easiest tasks a person could do entirely because there were rarely any corrections that needed to be made. Other than a spelling error or two, everything you wrote was spell-bounding and this fic is no different. It’s an interesting concept really, to take comfort out of a movie that was built around a tragedy. But that’s what you always did, isn’t it? You saw the beauty in everything and I admire you immensely for that.

Steve Rogers x Reader

Two Weeks | @viollettes​

The emotions you were able to evoke with your writing were always out of this world, babe. I will never forget the way my heart ached while beta-reading this for you and knowing that your personal experiences inspired it. You molded something beautiful out of something heart-wrenchingly terrible. You were always good at that.

“Dating Pre-Serum Steve” | @aubzylynn​

I still remember the moment I read this headcanon you had written. It showed up on my dash and I was intrigued. That intrigue quickly gave way to love and admiration because holy hell, you had written something so damn beautiful and amazing. After I finished reading it, I had to stop for a few seconds and take it all in while also reconciling the fact that, unfortunately, there is no pre-serum Steve for me to love. But if you somehow find a way to write one into existence, please remember me.

Wrong Number, Right Person | @4theluvofall​​

There was so much cuteness in this fic. So damn much. Enough to keep me smiling the entire time I was reading it. I love them getting to know each other before actually meeting. I love meddling Tony. I love the nervousness that sets in for the reader after she sends something close to her heart to Steve and fears his response (so relatable!). You gave us all the best things with this fic, truly.

Christmas to Remember | @avengerofyourheart​

ANIKA. YOU BROUGHT BACK MY FAVORITE MINI-SERIES AND I FLIPPED. Not only did you bring it back, you slayed. In this case, the things that were slayed were: my emotions, heart, and soul. But slayed in the best way possible because everything about it was pure gold.

Autumn | @viollettes​​

The last thing we spoke about was this fic and your writing. I can’t imagine a better final conversation to have. This fic was a reminder that hope is out there and I’ll carry that message (and you) with me in my heart. Always.

The Lonely Tree | @sarahwroteathing​

This series took my breath away. Just thinking about it has the same effect. This was a masterpiece, from start to finish. I was also hooked from the very beginning, entranced by your writing style and ability to make me feel like I really was in the story. And don’t even get me started on your portrayal of artist!Steve seriously, don’t - we’ll be here all day.

Peter Parker x Reader

the six stages of falling in love | @parkerstcr​

My darling, May. It is my hope that, at this point, you know how deep my love for this series and your writing is. There’s something beautiful and insanely poetic about the way you write. To say it ‘flows well’ would be the gosh dang understatement of the century. It does so much more more than flow. It soars and it makes me feel like I’m flying right along with it.

enough | @parkerstcr​​

You do angst well. Like too well. Like give my heart a break well. Luckily for me, you did give me a break and let this one end on a high note even though the path to get there was real rough and I didn’t know if I was going to make it out with my heart intact. 

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Stole the Show | @writingruna​

“Pulled at my heartstrings” is an overused expression. You hear it so much that it begins to lose its meaning. For me, that expression gained back all of its meaning after reading this fic. I’m pretty sure my heart was begging me to stop reading this fic because of how much pain it was in. When it comes to angst, you don’t play around and that’s something I’m grateful for. 

Eggsy Unwin x Reader

Know No Better | @ughjoekeery​ 

You know that saying “the best of both worlds”? That perfectly describes this. You gave me Bucky. You gave me insecure Eggsy. You gave me the amazing level of writing that only you can produce. You gave me everything I could ever want and so much more. 

Safe Haven | @ughjoekeery​​

When I was rereading this, the first thing that came to mind was “we found love in a hopeless place”. That’s what happened between the reader and Eggsy. That poor man found the love that he deserved and you gave me Roxy. You are a true angel, a queen, and I’m so thankful to you for writing this and giving me the good stuff my poor soul needed especially after the trash that was Kingsman 2.

[honeyalchemist]

Grimoire Organization!

So here’s a post about organizing your grimoire in preparation for the 2018 Grimoire challenge if you’re doing it or just need a little starting place!

As for the challenge, we’re coming very close to the start date! I hope all of you are ready! I know some of you are really wondering what exactly the grimoire challenge is, so let me break it down a little bit.

The Grimoire Challenge is, put simply, a way to fill up your Grimoire! If you’re worried about filling up an expensive journal with stuff you end up not liking, feel free to use a cheap notebook or even go digital as a rough draft! As for a more in-depth explanation, it’s a way for new witches or witches that don’t delve much into the craft to explore new parts of the craft! We’ll focus on many types of divination, spells, crystals, herbs, astrology, and much more! Each day of 2018 will have at least one prompt! (most days will have 2). I hope everyone’s excited and ready to go into a journey of witchcraft with me!

Also! Note, this will be edited in the future, so please keep referring back to this as it grows and you need more help!

So first, you’ll need to cleanse your Grimoire! There’s a LONG list of ways to cleanse things! I suggest not doing any that include fire or water. I personally will be using one that involves a sigil for cleansing!

Next, I suggest blessing your grimoire! A written blessing can go on the last page or the page after your property page (basically saying “This grimoire belongs to x” or whatever you prefer!), or pretty much anywhere you’d like! It would be best to create one yourself or use a blessing that has a lot of meaning to you!

Here’s something I find really important: a sigil to keep prying eyes away! There’s many you could choose from or even make your own! I personally like these ones!

(courtesy of WolfOfAntimony)

(Courtesy of Sylvaestria)

[Please check out their tumblrs! They’re lovely!]

Next, create your table of contents or index! These will be very important in the future, especially if you’re doing the challenge! Make sure these pages can be easily understood when referred to in the future!

The following are prompts you can use to make your Grimoire more personal to you! 

1. A dichotomy of sex and death 

2. Aspread for your ancestral shrine 

An entry that must be read in a mirror 

A spread devoted to the three items someone would need to summon you from the dead and gain your wisdom 

Create a magical map of your mind 

Dedicate an entry to your favorite poem Make an entry about strength with your nondominant hand 

Make your own water blessing 

Where do you go to heal when you meditate? 

Write a dedication to your body as a temple. 

A spread devoted to what colors you are. 

What is your beauty ritual? 

What do you do when you really cut loose? 

Record the results from body scan meditations. 

Vent! 

Write a spell for releasing your bad habits. 

What is balance to you? 

What do you really love about yourself? 

Make a mandala with your priorities, having most important at the center 

Make a tarot spread for mental health. 

Make a "cure what ails you" potion (probably tea) 

Make a ransom note for the return of the reader's original beliefs. 

Make a window page to reveal what's on the next page. 

Make a page devoted to leaf stamps. 

Make a pocket for recipes. 

Create an entry that can be seen upside down and right side up. 

Make an entry that requires 3D glasses to read. 

Burn a hole through a page. 

Create a magical ink spell 

Create your ultimate temple. 

Write a love letter to your grimoire as if it was a living human. 

Write a diary entry as if you were some natural phenomenon. 

What are your most precious items? 

Do you believe in ghosts? Have any experiences? 

What is the smell of night? 

What does smoke feel like? 

Take a tooth brush dipped in paint and run your finger over the bristles to splatter the paint. Connect the dots - what do you see? 

What is a song that wakes you up? 

Plan your dream garden. 

Bury some treasure - list what was in this treasure box, when it was buried, and hints to find it in the future. 

Create a color palette and LATER create an image of yourself using that palette. 

Dedicate a spread to your favorite myth - in the form of a comic strip. 

Trace your hand, fill in the trace with things about you. 

Here are some more page ideas, but I strongly suggest you have these!

How to Consecrate

How to Bless

How to Cleanse

How to Ground

How to Meditate

Here are just some ways I believe you can connect with your Grimoire. (which you should most definitely do the days leading up to the challenge if you do it lol)

Sleep with it under your pillow.

Take it everywhere you go (if you can do it safely)

Talk to it (lol I actually mean it). Spill your heart out to it, tell it about your day, cry to it (and on it if you want). 

And finally, some tips and tricks for other parts of your Grimoire.

Don’t be afraid to go digital or have a rough draft. In truth, the Grimoire challenge is especially helpful in finding out what path of magic you would like to take. Going digital or having a rough draft can help you find out what information you like to have in your grimoire and what you wouldn’t, as well as keeping your grimoire organized and neat if you plan on having it as such.

Do your absolute best to keep your grimoire organized. A disorganized grimoire is about as helpful as a bunch of scattered papers when trying to look for something specific.

Cleanse your grimoire regularly! Your grimoire is definitely a place where negative energies can attach and end up hurting you. Cleansing regularly (like at least once a month) keeps your grimoire neutral and reduces risk of energies interfering with your magic!

Don’t be afraid of messing your grimoire up! It may be only for your eyes and any mistake you make is just another thing that makes your grimoire unique and yours!

If you go digital, write down everything, especially if you’re doing research, that way when you edit your grimoire or make it physical, you can have everything you need and you can pick out the unnecessary bits. 

Remember that a grimoire doesn’t have to be a single book. You can have several books (I definitely do) that can continue your grimoire or have different purposes. (i.e. a book specifically for divination, one for research, one for sigils, etc.) Just remember, KEEP IT ORGANIZED.

That’s really it for now. If you guys read ALL that, thank you! I hope this was helpful! Please feel free to reblog with other tips or message me with them to add them to my post!

With Love, 

Honey Bee.

[philosworkbench]

Yes And, A Good No, and the Dangers of Wing-Walking

I did a weird thing for an improviser to do today. I declined an offer.

“No” is something people say every day. Kids say it a lot. I don't have kids; I had cats, and they would often say something very much like no. But in improv, we're taught to say yes. Specifically, when someone on stage with you says something to define the shared fictional reality, we call that “making an offer.” When that happens, you're supposed to accept it and heighten it as far as it will go.

If your scene partner says that you're both monkey space pirates and it's time to capture the frigate of the talking bananas, well then you just better put on your monkey space suit, pull out your monkey space cutlass, and get ready to fight! Is it ridiculous? Of course, it is. (I mean how are you going to pull out your space sword after you’ve already put on your space suit? Stupid monkey pirate!) Nevertheless, you Yes And! It's banana hunting time! Take no banana prisoners! Eat all you kill! #YOLO #LivingThatMonkeySpacePirateLife #blessed

There was this guy with an interesting online tool for facilitators --  bizarrely enough, a different online tool than the one I talked about yesterday. (I’m networking a lot, y’all. And by y’all, I mean cold vastness of Tumblr.)

This guy was ready to make me his U.S. distributor-partner for his product. No buy-in, all commission, and the ripest territory on the planet. Perfect side hustle, if not a full hustle for the right person.

I said no.

It f*cking terrified me.

Beyond the pros and cons of the opportunity and the reasoning for my decision, what most intrigued me was my emotional reaction. I'm not destitute. My spouse and I are okay, even in the midst of COVID. Why did it freak me out so much to say “no”?

Honestly, I think there are a lot of reasons. Here are the ones that kept me up tonight.

Yes And is great medicine if you have the disease it’s meant for.

If your team or entire organization has become a stalled, “no but” culture, work on Yes And. When you and/or the system has become so stable that it's stagnant and momentum towards a vision has become inertia towards change, work on Yes And. When you need to shake things up and create opportunity for positive disruption, work on Yes And.

Cut to 20 years later.

I’ve done Yes And. I’ve taught it a lot. I’ve seen what happens when a room of people have to make a decision and their only experience running things is from a career spent in improv. It has come to me as no surprise that the hypocrisy of the improv community was laid bare by the #MeToo movement. A healthy respect for no is crucial.

This is when some improv people tie themselves in knots. “It’s not that we’re asking people to say ‘no’ to each other, but to say ‘yes’ to themselves.” Fine. Whatever looks good in your Bullet Journal. Even if improv didn’t need a worldwide reckoning around consent, it would still need to learn how to say a “good no.”

A Good No means Listening to your Full Self

To explain this, let’s go back to why we try to break people of “no” when they first start taking improv classes. It’s because their “no” at the time is usually based in fears.

I’m afraid of looking stupid so I say no to anything my partner says -- I just can’t risk it

I’m afraid of not understanding what’s happening so I say no to anything too crazy

I’m afraid of not being funny so I say no to anything to too normal

And, if you squint enough to read between those lines, you’ll see similar fears that show up in almost every meeting at work:

I’m afraid of looking less valuable so I say no to my peers’ ideas -- they might keep mine from being recognized

I’m afraid of putting my name to something that fails so I say no to innovation -- or at least no until we have all the necessary data (because by then the opportunity will have passed and we can blame a lack of good intel)

I’m afraid of not making a name for myself so I no to the simple, no-frills solution that will work, but that no one will notice

These are the bad noes. (These are not the Glengarry noes.)

There’s nothing worse than watching an improviser try to improv while fundamentally afraid of the art form and uncomfortable with themselves. Improv and all theater begins with a fearlessness around “nakedness.” Don’t really get naked when improvising. We get too many letters. Instead, take Peter Brook’s advice from The Empty Space:

“The creative actor also longs to cling on to all he’s found, he too wants at all costs to avoid the trauma of appearing in front of an audience, naked and unprepared—still this is exactly what he must do.” (Brook, 1968, p.142)

It sucks to be naked like this while doing bar-prov in front of a bunch of drunks at 12am, so we teach Yes And. It’s probably not so much “be more naked on stage,” but more, “it’s awkward to try to cover yourself on stage so we’re all going to just keep covering each other. Trust that your partners are there to keep the grossest parts from hanging out.” That’s Yes And.

When improvisers understand that, you start to see them use “no” again. But now, it’s not an awful, awkward, scene-halting “no.” It’s authoritative, exciting, and directional. A good no can be the best yes and. It doesn’t stop the motion, it transforms it.

Back At Work: Good Noes are Good News

Time to read between the lines again, to see how this translates from improv to the boardroom -- by which, of course, I mean Zooming with your team members while you all pretend to be wearing pants.

Once we have a foundation of Yes And, and our default setting is to rally around each other and support each other. Then, revisiting No makes sense. You can bring your full selves to it. You’re not making the “no” choice out of fear.

This is great news because then you can say no with complete candor but also complete support. You can say, “here’s where I’m at right now.” People know where you stand and can factor in your real, honest feedback. If the team knows that everyone on the team gets what “Yes And” means, they can hear “no” in a whole new way.

So why was I so upset about saying “no” today? Like everyone who's ever done therapy, I blame my stepfather.

The First Law of Wing-Walking

Amazingly, it is not, “you don’t talk about wing-walking.” You apparently talk about it a lot, especially while your stepson is growing up in your house.

My stepdad was in Organizational Development. (So, I guess you could say, I’m a “legacy,” or whatever. #NBD) 30 years ago, he would often say, “Matt, remember the first law of wing-walking:

Don’t let go of what you’re holding onto until you’ve got hold of something else!”

Years on the couch. (For other stuff. Not for that.)

I’m in a lot of transition right now. I’m trying to launch a new company. I’m trying to do right by the companies I work for now. And COVID feels like a bad time to be dreaming big, but I am.

But I don’t feel I am holding onto anything. I’m just keeping a ton of different stuff in reach. I haven’t “burned my boats,” and yet, they are drifting further and further from shore. Without me.

I have a beautiful vision for my future, but I haven’t gotten anyone to buy it yet.

And then comes this guy, and he has something to hold onto.

Getting Lost in the Role

One of the best moments in a long-form improv is when you find a truly interesting character that you can consistently play from scene to scene. You “have” them.

The audience is intrigued. You feel good at improv when you play them. And, best of all, you get to stop thinking about who you are for a while. All of your anxieties about “am I good at this? What should I do next?” have to leave a message at the beep. You’re somebody else now. And they’re busy.

But what about when you’re decidedly not getting lost in the role. You just feel “lost.” That’s kind of where I am at right now. Not as bad as the “upside-down,” but definitely the “in-between.”

And here’s this guy, and he has a branded polo shirt with my name on it if I want it.

But I don’t.

I want a branded polo shirt with my own company’s name on it.

And yes, in his mind, I could have absolutely built my own company while I did this for him as a sideline. There were plenty of Yes And reasons why this would have been a great partnership. He helps facilitators. I help facilitators. Except I’m not really helping facilitators yet. I just want to.

Whose Thing is it Anyway!?

So, now I think I can finally come to the point. Sometimes you have to pass up good things.

When you are not sure of your path forward or not confident the path you want will happen, the universe will sometimes send you lifeboats. And you may not realize you’re only saying yes to it because it’s a lifeboat. It’s better than flapping around in the water.

But is that a good Yes?

Is it going to bring you closer to your path forward? Or will it give you hours of distraction so you’ll have the perfect excuse not to move forward? What will you say when you look back?

“Yes, I really wanted to have my own monkey space pirate ship, but while I was building it, another monkey came by and offered me a chance to work part-time on his ship. I figured I’d get back to mine eventually, but I just kept doing so well on his. His is awesome now! As for mine, I don’t know. Maybe when I retire.”

Just writing that has me shaking a little, like an honest-to-god baby panic attack. Not a full-blown attack, but one you would serve around on a tray at a cocktail party.

I was terrified of saying no today because of all the fear of passing up a good thing.

But now, as I reflect on it, having spent the last 1700+ words ruminating on it, I realize that what’s f*cking terrifying is taking a good thing when it’s not actually your thing.

Don’t get me wrong; many of the best accomplishments have been the work of dedicated people working diligently for other people. If you see an organization with a mission you believe in, that treats you right, and treats the world right, jump on that.

But if you know you need to now do something on your own, even if it fails miserably. If you need to pass up the good thing so you can have the space to create your own, do it.

Say a good “no” to the stuff that isn’t truly for you. 

Even when it’s terrifying.

[ilonavic]

So… 2017 is coming to a close.

For weeks now I’ve had this instinctive sense to express my gratitude towards a great amount of people I’ve encountered throughout the year of 2017, and I’ll get to that later - but first of all. Let’s not make the New Year’s celebrations into a huge deal, because honestly, it’s not. It’s just another day, a passing of another hour, another minute, and some of us place too much expectations on this day which almost always results in disappointment. Take it easy. It’s a lovely time to spend with friends or family, but if you don’t want to do that, that’s perfectly alright too. Last year I just read a book and tried to avoid the outdoors, because oh boy, do I hate fireworks.

Anyways, I’m starting to lose my point with this. I’ll get to it now.

This year hasn’t been extraordinary for me at all, and neither has many prior years been either, I keep thinking it’ll get better and better by each year, but it’s always been the same. I’ve worked my butt off for the entirety of this year, and I’ve experienced how much stress and anxiety can fuck up your body and mind. I didn’t even think I could feel stress before? So I didn’t take it seriously either when others told me they were feeling stressed. I was like ”How do you even sense stress? How is that an emotion people react to?”. Now I’ve gotten a sweet taste of it myself, so I understand it better now, which is good, I guess.

But, besides working, which I suppose I’m grateful for the learning experiences of, there is something I’m even more grateful for, that has meant so much to me on so many levels. I thought about delivering this in so many ways, writing letters to each and every one of you, but then I realized there were a few I didn’t have an address to, and everything else required too much effort, energy and dedication where I didn’t even have the money to spend on at the moment. So I think this will do, it’ll also give other people a chance to read about how truly great these people are.

But it’ll be long. Because I have no expenses to spare of how happy I want these people to be after they’re done reading their paragraphs. And this is sort of an anniversary, because almost exactly a year from now, I first created my blog on Tumblr, and first encountered these people that I didn’t even know I desperately needed in my life.

@bryd-one-brere, I think it’s almost exactly a year now from when I first started talking to you. You were the first person I encountered on Tumblr, the first blog I ever even discovered before I discovered Tumblr, and then, my first friend from here. I can’t stress enough of how much I think you’re just a great person, from the start. And in truth, without revealing too much, because I do cherish your trust, I don’t think I’ve met a person as hardy, strong and resilient as you, atleast you’re at the very top of that list. It fascinates me how you can keep on, even when something can damage you so much. You’re like a rock, honestly. You’re kind, understanding, open-minded. But what I love the most about you is that you were literally born and raised in an incredibly close-minded and hateful society, but somehow, you learned to think for yourself beyond what everyone else were thinking and you grew your own opinions, had your own mindsets and ambitions. I admire that. The fact that you were surprised about someone listening, offering their support and understanding still saddens me. We all think you deserve to be in an equally loving, friendly and accepting society as you are yourself. You’re like a beautiful bird stuck in a cage. I’m so happy you are my friend, and I’m very grateful for all your council and all our discussions. You’re a very interesting person, complex character with a unique background. I know I’ve been busy with my work, but you’ve been so understanding of that, and I hope you remember that I intend to keep writing letters to you til’ the end, because I’ll never see a reason to stop. I hope 2018 will be kinder to you. <3

@noonvraith, you’re the most recent person I started getting to know. See, I always wanted to get to know you, which is why I added you to our group lastly. I didn’t have to, but I had an instinct that if I did, then it would give us a chance to finally get to know you better. And we did, I did, and I’m very happy for that. I know we’ll be great friends one day, I’m never in a hurry to rush people to open up to me, and I hope you feel comfortable in your new little family, that is us, weirdos. And in truth, you’re the person who has inspired me the most out of everyone, not just on Tumblr or in our little circle, but more people I know of. You inspired me to play certain games, to write certain novels, to paint certain artworks. It’s not that from what you say, but it’s what you do yourself that inspires me to do the same, because it is genuinely so beautiful. You have a very keen eye on nice design, aesthethics and art. I know life is very testing for you sometimes, and emotions can become overwhelming. I hope you know that I’ll always be here for you with a friendly advice and a shoulder to cry on, so long as you’ll have me. I’ll not go away either, just because you feel like you’re not worthy sometimes. Because you are worthy to me, more than you realize. And you forget your own worth too many times, but that’s alright, because we’re humans, and humans have a habit of being way too hard on themselves sometimes. Still, your flaws makes you beautiful, and your redeeming qualities makes you even more bright. That’s what you are in many ways, a very bright, colorful person. Sometimes you can be very dark too, but I like that darkness in you, it shows that you have a more complex side. And complexity is always beautiful, it is never wrong or bad, it is always beautiful. It also shows that you have a greater understanding and acceptance of other people’s complexity. You have a great future in store, and wherever you go, I hope it leads to somewhere lovely. Happy New Year!

@cirillach, I’ll admit, sometimes I’m very sad I don’t know you better than I do. Just like with Ambie, I therozied that the same tactics would work on you, adding you to our little group, so you’d feel more comfortable participating in our conversations. But then, you seem to be very busy, and that’s something I admire, actually. You’re very ambitious, and you seem to be very intelligent as well, good at studying, not losing focus too often, which I would have a habit of doing in your stead. Even if we haven’t talked too much, I still have a very good sense of people, and I can read them easily, I don’t have to see them to do that either. You seem to be a very kind, intuitive and a compassionate person. You’re also funny! And people want to be around you. Then, of course, which I’ve nagged you enough about, is your talents. Even if you weren’t a friend, I’d still say you were my favorite artist, because you are. You have a great deal of talents, not just in art, I suspect. I bet you’re talented in your field of study too, and maybe novels? I feel like you’d be one of those golden multi-talented people. In any case, I have a great deal of admiration for you, and whatever I’ve been wrong about, I’m sure I was correct about seeing so much kindness in you. I hope you get a lovely new year with loads of success, friendship and happiness.

@jobenheim, you’re very special too, but I think you’d rather appreciate it if I wrote it all to you in private rather than here in public on Tumblr. Just know for now that you’re also on my list.

@vattgherncirilla, honestly, the person I felt I already knew before actually knowing you. Everyone kept talking about you, and I kept wondering who you were. Eventually, I feel like I was supposed to know you but we didn’t yet. What I love the most about our relationship is the fact that we’re so different, and people often need to be similar to others in order to befriend them, but with us, that’s not a problem, and I genuinely love that. I think more people need to be able to befriend others who they are not so similar to, because those are the people we learn the most from, and grow from. You and I will grow together, and we’ll have lots of fun, which we always do anyways. You’re not like anybody else either, obviously, you have a certain way and light about you that makes everyone notice you. You’re bright, energetic and present. You’re just so full of life, actually. I think that’s what I love the most about you, being who you are, like a sun. And I know you get tons of compliments on how beautiful you are, but you know I never choose my friends based on their status or their looks. I chose you because I think you’re a wonderful person within, and pity those who are too blind to see that. You’ll always defend and protect me, I’ve never had a friend who’s that fierce about it before, whenever I’m in trouble or feel unsafe in a situation, I always know that you got my back. That feeling is so important to me. Having someone who’ll always be by my side, no matter the odds. You’re loyal, so honest, so loving, affectionate and funny. I can’t imagine my life without you and I’m so so grateful that you are in it. My life would feel so empty without you. You’ve done the sweetest things for me, and I’ve never forgotten them still. I can’t wait until we hang out, hopefully this new year, and we can finally do all those things we’ve talked about. Though I look forward to going to parties, museums and other places with you I mostly look forward to watching cute boys on Netflix in our PJ:s together.

@lunedin, bestest, coolest, most rad Lara. I don’t think you realize, but I have so much love for you. In the beginning you seemed very shy and introverted, so I thought you’d be the quiet type, which I’m sure you are at occassions, but I also realized that you are so much more fun, energetic and outgoing than that. You’re the bravest of the bunch, you’re the one who’s brave enough to take a selfie right in public and make weird noises to birds in a restaurant. I love that goofy side of you, you have such a spark about you and similar to Sara, you’re very lively. I know we’d have so much fun together, and even though we have a love-hate-relationship towards hiking, I’d love to do that with you. Especially those mountains of yours, where you could eventually laugh at me slipping on cliffs and falling to my death, which I’ll need you to snapchat by the way. You’re a very good listener as well, which you’ll reply with ”That’s because I don’t know what to say”, well it still counts to me. And it’s alright not knowing what to say when I’m complaining about something, I know you care, and you don’t always have to prove it with words. Your gifts are so thoughtful and it shows that you put dedication and love into your friendships. We all love you, honestly, so much. I can’t imagine our group or my circle of friends without you, it would be so so empty without you. When you feel like a place would be missing or empty without a person, that’s when you know how valuable they are. And you are that valuable to me. I was so happy when we started talking on Tumblr for the first time, I still remember how sweet I thought that you were. I know you’ll have a great year ahead, and try not to worry about too many things, because no matter what happens, you’ll always have us and you’ll always have me by your side. And in the end, what matters more than love and friendship anyways?

@ferelden-doglord, from the very start I thought that you were the most mature one out of all of us. With you, I have meaningful, deep and interesting conversations with about anything. You’re the one I go to for council and advice, because you always have motivational and intelligent things to say. You’ve also inspired me a great deal, in everything you’ve achieved this year. You’re a very driven person, and when you say you’ll DO something, you actually DO it. That’s not as common as we think. I know a hella lot of people who say they’ll do something for me, or for themselves, but when the time comes, they don’t prove their words by their actions. But you do, you always keep your promises, and you always make sure I’m alright. You ask how I feel, how my Christmas has been, how work is, how things are going. These questions are so thoughtful of you to ask, and you’d be surprised how rarely many of us get to hear it. I try to treat you the exact same way, but then I can’t really achieve the same amount of sweetness and tenderness that you just naturally possess. Yes, my title is ”mama moose” to our squad, but I feel like you’re more of a mother persona to us in many other ways, where I protect and council, you take care and try to guide us towards a goal that you feel will be better for us in the long run instead. Your intentions and motives are always pure and good-hearted, you’re always looking out for the best for people you love. I cherish you more than you think and I see a long lasting friendship between us for as long as we’ll last. To you I’ll cling on to, because you I care for very much, and I want to give you the same amount of love and care you’ve given me. Many times I feel like I don’t deserve such a sweet person like you. I hope that you’ll achieve even more of your hopes and dreams in this new year, and I have no doubts that you’ll do. I’m so happy in the turn of where your life has headed this year and I’m sure you’ll succeed in much more.

@vaporeox, of course I saved you for last, you smug prick. I don’t know what it is, but you were the second person I found here after Kate, and just by looking at your feed, your account and your posts, I felt this really weird connection to you. Like you were supposed to be in my life, and we were supposed to know each other. I did keep my cool though, never freaked out and spammed your inbox in trying to befriend you. But I always hoped that there would be an occassion for me to reach out to you. I waited and eventually there was a moment, which I obviously didn’t have to take, but I took it anyways, because darn it, if I want to do something I’ll do it. I still remember us being kind of awkward in the beginning, but there was this connection where I feel like the both of us really liked one another but we didn’t want to seem uncool and weird, so we just kept chatting casually. And then after our group was created, you and I just kept bonding more and more, even when we spoke on Skype I laughed more with you than anyone else. The more I learned about you, the more we realized how similar we were, and I honestly can’t believe no one has been able to understand you like I did before. To me, you’re not that difficult of a puzzle to solve, and maybe that’s just because I feel many things the same way you do. It’s not always about what we say or what we do that makes me go ”I really like this Fran”. It’s just about that feeling you give me and that deep connection that we have, that neither of us can even explain. You’re like family to me, in a strange sense. A brother, a sister, a soulmate, I don’t know. You’re the person I never doubt, you’re kind, but you don’t have that typical kindness about you, you have a very genuine and rare kindness where yours is actually completely honest. You’d never betray me, and I’d never betray you, in any way. If we were ever angry with each other, it would be because we’re hurt, because we care about each other that much. Nothing about you is corrupt or dishonest, you’re so pure in many ways. Which obviously doesn’t include all your weird kinks, you sinner. I mean that you, as in your personality, is so pure and undefiled. Sometimes I’ll be paranoid just for the sake of being paranoid, because one of my worst fears ever is getting betrayed by someone I love, and my mind will play tricks on me like ”what if this happend and Fran would hate me / would leave me”, and whenever I think about losing you I just realize how incredibly valuable you are to me, and how broken I would be if I lost you. It would be a bit like losing a piece of myself, because I feel like you are a little piece in me that was always supposed to be there, but we only met by coincidence. And to think, if internet didn’t exist or I never discovered this website, we would’ve never met in any way. I don’t even want to think about what it would be like not to have any of you in my life, and not to have you there too. In truth, you just feel like home to me. You’re comfort and safety. I can be so open with you, tell you everything, and you’ll accept it all. Honestly, it doesn’t matter what happens, because I’ll cling on to you for the rest of my life. Even if the internet fails and we can’t meet, I’ll still send letters your way, with ravens and whatnot. You, I never ever want to lose. You’re so so important to me and I don’t really care what happens to both of us career-wise, as long as I have you in my life I’m happy no matter where the rest of me goes. And you should know, no matter where you go, I’ll go there too, and I’ll always be by your side, always defend you, always care for you, always try to make you laugh. You could throw rocks at me and try to betray me, but darn, I’ll still be loyal to you. It’s funny how I love you so much, and yet I’ve never insulted a person more than I’ve insulted you haha. I guess that’s a true sign of love?? In any case, I hope I can come visit your farm soon, I really want to pet your cows and your doggies and meet your awesome family. See ya soon, dipshit.

As a conclusion, you guys were my biggest gift and achievement of 2017, and I want you all to know that. How grateful I am to have all of you in life. But not just that, I want you all to remember how great of a person you, yourself, are. Pat yourself on the shoulder because you rock.

Happy New Year!

[deadlyunicornsofspace]

My Podcast Idea: take 2

okay, so this is the second post I’ve made about it, because my first was all over the place and I missed a bunch of stuff. a few points to make first though so the rest is easier to read.

1) I won’t cover everything I’ve figured out in case I ever do make this into a real thing, and I don’t want to tell you guys everything that happens right now

2) I'm going to call humans two different things, humans (obviously) and deathworlders. the reason for this is that Aliens don’t refer to humans as humans, simply because that is not what they named them. Aliens refer to this insane species as “deathworlders”

3) I am going to refer to the main human character as TH (tiny human)

Okay now that I’ve covered that, time to talk about the rest of it.

Premise

So basically, the first idea I had was just this human being raised by these aliens who don’t know that this kid is a human, and humans are some mythical creature in that universe. obviously a lot has changed since then.

First off, I have TH actually living on this spaceship for most their life (Specific age isn’t hugely important, but I've decided that they've been on it since they were about four) and they can’t remember anything from before they were on the ship. 

The spaceship basically has the entire internet on it (Minus all the viruses I guess) up until the ship was sent into space. (So like when Tumblr has already loaded a whole bunch of posts, but then your internet crashes and you can look at all the already loaded posts but not any new ones) So TH knows a whole bunch about earth, they’ve seen tv shows, read books etc etc. so they know they’re human and a lot about earth. (However of course their perspective is skewed of course because they learned everything from the internet)

So I have no idea how spending all this time with no other humans around is going to affect this kid (obviously they’re going to be fucked up from lack of human contact) then I decided I didn’t want this kid to be completely alone (Because come on, the podcast doesn’t even start until they're fourteen, that’s like ten years alone) so I gave them robots. the robots are on the ship with them, they take care of stuff, but they also have AIs so TH can sort of talk to them, but still not the same as having real humans around. 

On that note, if you know anything about psychology and how this might effect them, please message me or something, I don’t want to mess it up I’d love to talk to someone who knows what they’re talking about

okay, so next event is first contact. so TH lands on this planet. (I can’t decide if it’s a crash landing or not, because it seems weird not to have it be able to land, but I’m also pretty sure they were expecting it to be flown by someone trained to do this you know?) So anyway TH is on the planet and is found by this pair of aliens.

time for the Obvious Problem.

communication. because, don’t get me wrong, whilst I love Voltron, the whole meeting aliens and of course they speak English, why wouldn’t they? is kind of ridiculous. I can only assume that the castle has a translator (Which does raise the question of why English would be in their data base, or any human language for that matter, but that is a long post for another time and on my main account.) so I need to figure out this language barrier quick

So after a long time of pondering, I figured it out. All aliens have translators, because while the optimal world would be where everyone spoke everyone’s language, it’s not happening. so when they meet this strange species they’ve never seen before they open up their translator and try to translate what they’re saying, and it works, TH seems to speaking a strange variant of an archaic language that they cannot identify the planet of (Yes I realise this is shady af, but I'm going to have an explanation for it, but not in this post.) So they’re just about barely able to communicate the bare essentials. 

so they manage to get across that they’re friendly, and that they’re going to going to help fix their ship etc. the issue is that they seem to have a really old version of English, so they use the ships data base to update their translator. now do you remember what I said earlier about the internet not being the best way to learn stuff. these aliens cannot tell fact from fiction, they do not know the difference between slang and not. 

So that’s gonna be a real wild ride

Anyways, back to plot

So TH is going to stay with Aliens while they fix up ship and figure out what’s going on with them

At one point I think they’ll be telling TH about deathworlders, maybe TH will be telling them about horror stories and stuff like that and they jus, “Oh, you mean like deathworlders?” and they just, “What the heck is a deathworlder?” and there I could have a spooky campfire stories sort of scene.

They start talking about what they want to do

TH says they want to find other humans and figure out where they came from

Aliens want to explore space

anyway long story short they find this map with a whole bunch of places marked down

they cross reference it with a map of all the planets they know of and some of the marked places are planets, both inhabited and not, and some are in unrecorded territory

Long story short they go fuck it, and leave in TH’s spaceship to explore the cosmos. Idk if they’ll pick up others to join their crew along the way

I definitely want them to have a person on their crew that is a human conspiracist. like how we have conspiracies about aliens, they have conspiracies that deathworlders exist

anyway along the journey they’re gradually going to piece together that TH is a deathworlder. theres gonna be a whole bunch of little bits that Ima put under another section.

“The real conspiracy was the friends you made along the way”

Anyway that’s pretty much all I've got for plot to share with you, so

TH is a deathworlder?

early clues:

TH has an astounding pain threshold. Like they injure themselves and it sounds excruciatingly painful and like they should see a doctor if what they say is anything to go by, but insist on just walking it off

Their ability to multitask is astounding, like they’re doing three things at once while also consuming their daily required nutrients

TH threw a piece of paper into a bin while not looking and acted like it was no big deal WHAT THE ACTUAL

As they start to question it: 

“Dude, you said deathworlders digest poison to build an immunity and weed out the weak”

“YOU HAVE PEPPERS GROWING IN YOUR GARDEN!”

“They’re for flavour.”

“THEY’RE POISONOUS!”

“I thought you said that deathworlders are so eager to fight they even fight their own genetics”

“PUNCHING THINGS AND SPRINTING IS NOT SOMETHING YOUR SPECIES SHOULD BE CAPABLE OF”

“and?”

“YOU HAVE ENTIRE RITUALS AND CEREMONIES DEDICATED TO THEM”

About the world

so basically whenever what I am going to refer to as the alien government (AG)discovers a likely place for an inhabitable planet to be they send out an exploration squad to see is there is one, they then send another group to go visit the planet and speak to them and ask if they wish to join their big group of planets, idk what to call it.

Nobody ever refuses, because why would they? 

Communication and transport is established and they are now a part of their clique. 

so all of the aliens are very peaceful

so the priority in tech is communication, transport, and exploration. 

there isn’t really anything in the way of weapons

it’s hard to get clearance to explore

Well more specifically it’s hard to get clearance for an exploration ship. TH’s spaceship is a loophole, because they aren’t a part of their government so they can't stop them.

which is why the aliens wanted to explore so bad, because no proper exploring is really done, it’s all just science and there should be a planet here, check it out.

you can get little ships for singular planet use about as easily as a car, but they’re effectively just used as cars because that’s the kind of thing they’re made for. you can also get ships for interplanetary travel, but only through established routes. that’s kind of the equivalent of getting an airplane.

That’s all I can think of to put in this post, I’d love to hear back from you guys with your thoughts, as I said, if you know anything about psychology and how TH might be affected by their situation please message me or something, I need help. also just feel free to message me, about this, about anything to do with my whole blog, or anything at all. or if you just want to talk. 

see you guys next time! And hey,

you’re beautiful

[onlyjihoons]

date; j.j.h

bybangmin said:Hi! I'm not sure if your requests are open, but I was wondering if I could request a Jaehyun scenario where you're a dance teacher, and you're teaching his younger siblings (though we know he doesn't have any) and he develops a crush on you??? Does that sound weird???? Anyways, I hope you have a good day, Zelia! (I think this is your name? I just observe off Cheryl's tumblr)

a/n; hi omg it doesn’t sound weird at all, i promise:) i really hope you like it❤

synopsis: teaching little aspiring ballerinas were your thing, you haven’t had many boyfriends due to your dedication to your work and academics. but now you could, but you had little guy friends/connections. you were very young to start this line of work to be honest, but your teacher had faith in you. adding insult to injury, the men around you were married, unattractive men, with children that attended your dance class. not until a cute guy who fetches his sister to dance class catches your attention.

*: Breadstreet Kitchen: One of many Gordon Ramsay restaurants with overpriced but good food quality assured by the man himself.

ft; older brother!johnny

If you had to be honest, being a ballerina sucked.

Firstly, you would only look pretty on stage. After all of the concrete-like layers of makeup were removed, you were a whole different person. Secondly, having no assets. Being bound in the ever-tight leotard and stiff, frilly tutu, the restricting material restricted your growth during your teenage years, causing an almost flat chest. Last but not least, an almost lack of boyfriends. Growing up, your classmates were all girls, being the stereotypical all-girls ballet class you have attended since young. You had gone to a co-ed school, but the lack of interaction between boys in the class you attend the most has resulted in only one boyfriend, which was your best friend. It was really embarrassing to recall, you just didn’t want to be labelled as “inexperienced in dating”. At least you have one ex-boyfriend to back you up.

The glory days of dancing on your toes on stage were over, you teacher then suggested that you should try teaching. You gladly agreed, after all, having knee aches everyday wasn’t good for your health. You completed your teacher’s course easily, and you were about to take your examiner’s certificate next. You had to have at least 5 years of teaching experience anyway, and you really liked teaching small ballerinas-to-be the little basics of ballet. Your teacher added that your age was a plus to begin with, being a teacher at the tender age of 20.

It was a normal day in the dance studio, little girls in pink leotards and pink-wrap skirts filling into the studio with excited minds. You took note of the number of girls and was about to begin class when a new face entered the studio.

She ran towards you excitedly with a big smile, face adorned with two cute dimples at the sides of her lips. 

“Are you joining this class today, sweetie?” Your eyes crinkled with adoration as the girl nodded.

“What’s your name?”

“Jung Ji-Eun”

“Okay, Jieun, we’ll introduce you to your new friends okay?” You coaxed her as she placed her small hands in yours.

“Everyone, we have a new friend today,” You smiled, “Her name is Jieun, everyone say hi to Jieun, yeah?”

“Hi Jieun!” The girls chirrped excitedly, a blush forming on Jieun’s chubby cheeks.

“Hi, I’m Jung Jieun, and I am 5 this year. Please take care of me!” Jieun bowed politely, as her new-found friends burst into excited cheers.

“Remember the new steps I taught you today and practice it at home alright? Okay, bye girls!” The girls filled out of the dance studio excitedly, greeting their parents with excitement. All of the girls left, except Jieun.

“Why aren’t you going to your parents, Jieun?” you hummed as you packed up your belongings.

“My brother is picking me up today,” Jieun sipped on her water cutely as she sat up.

“Really? When is he coming? The studio is going to be closed in about an hour.” You gazed at the analog clock that read 6.20pm.

“I don’t know,”Jieun huffed. “He said he will pick me up--”

“Jieun-ah!” You heard a breathless voice call out behind you.

“Oppa!” the excited child ran towards the blonde male you were greeted with. If Jieun hadn’t told you, you’ve thought he was her father. He had his hair dyed and artificial but now faded blonde, as you inferred from the brown roots peeking from the top of his head. He had worn a pair of cute dimples on his swoon-worthy face, as his eyes disappeared into crescents when he smiled at the child. 

You weren’t lying if it was love at first sight.

You snapped back to reality, realising that you have been staring at Jieun’s brother for far too long.

“Uhm, Miss Y/N?” the boy called out to you.

“Ah yes, I’m sorry.” You sheepishly apologised. “You are?”

“Just call me Jaehyun,” the young man smiled, “Thank you for taking care of Jieun on her first day of class.”

“No worries!” You waved your hands frantically, “Jieun did really well in her first day of class today.”

“Really?” Jaehyun gasped as he pinched Jieun’s chubby cheeks, “Mom and Dad would be so proud.”

You just stood there, dumbfounded and speechless as you watched the pair exchange playful banter for god knows how long(it was only 30 seconds, but you swear it seemed like eternity), until Jaehyun crouched down to pick up Jieun’s pink backpack and slung it around his shoulders as he carried Jieun with another arm.

“It was nice meeting you, Miss Y/N, I’ll see you next week.” Jaehyun bowed.

“Y-yeah, enjoy your weekend!” You blushed wildly as the siblings waved at you as you greeted back.

“Earth to Y/N!” a familiar voice shook your senses as you clutched your heart, seeing your older brother look at you quizzically.

“Johnny Seo!” you scolded as you slapped your brother’s shoulder, “You scared me.”

“You have a crush on Jaehyun?” Johnny raised his eyebrows in disbelief, “That Jeffery? That dude?”

“He’s just my student’s older brother,” You sighed as you packed up the rest of your belongings and slung your duffel over your shoulders, “And have you seen him? Have you seen me?!”

“Considering that he’s the co-host of our radio show I gotta admit that he’s pretty nice,” Johnny hummed, “But you’ve got a good eye sis, ninety-percent of our female listeners have a crush on him.”

“Wait what?” You frowned as you interwined your arm’s with your brothers’, “Tell me more.”

“You’re in love with him,” Johnny shook his head as he helped you switch off the electricity in the studio, “That boy deadass begged me to give him a lift to the studio because his little sister ended class and didn’t want to keep her waiting.”

“He owes me dinner now, consider your first date done.” Johnny smirked as he quickened his pace to the parking lot.

“You’re talking too fast, I can’t-- Johnny Seo!” You screamed as you struggled to keep pace with your long-limbed sibling.

“You look fine sis, you’re not gonna meet his parents or something.” Johnny groaned as he saw you change outfits for the nth time.

“You can’t understand how girls feel because you haven’t had a girlfriend before,” You shot back as you proceeded to open up your bb cushion and patted some of the product on your face.

“You little--” Before Johnny could rebuke, the sound of his ringtone interrupted his train of thought. “Valentine boy’s calling, be quick.”

“Hello?”

“Johnny hyung, you haven’t told me what time you want me to meet you, I don’t have all day,” You heard Jaehyun’s annoyed voice over the speaker.

“Uhm, Jaehyun?” 

“What?”

“Is it alright if my sister comes along? No, actually, I’m too busy, can she be a substitute for me?”

“Your sister?” You heard Jaehyun laugh emotionlessly over the phone, “I swear if she’s the same age as Jieun I’m gonna--”

“It’s Y/N,” Johnny rolled his eyes.

“Wait, Y/N? As in Jieun’s dance teacher, Miss Y/N?”

“Who else?” 

“I thought she was your girlfriend,” 

“Cut your nonsense talk and wait outside Breadstreet Kitchen* in 30 minutes.” Johnny then cut the line dead and laid flat on your bed.

“I swear, people born in 1997 are the most troublesome and clueless bunch of idiots,” You heard Johnny mutter under his breath as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Too bad, I know you love me,” You winked to the reflection of Johnny in your mirror as he scrunched his face.

“Quit being disgusting and finish up your makeup.”

“I didn’t know Johnny hosted a radio show with you,” You smiled sheepishly as you gulped down your once-full glass of water.

“Yeah, its pretty fun actually, with Johnny-hyung’s parrot impressions.” Jaehyun giggled.

“No way, he actually does that on live radio?” You widened your eyes in disbelief, “I thought he only did that to annoy me, his impressions are really bad.”

“Our listeners like them,” Jaehyun shrugged, “Johnny-hyung’s popular with our female listeners too.”

“Wait but he said that you-- never mind.” You looked away awkwardly.

“What did Johnny-hyung say about me?” Jaehyun raised his eyebrows.

“N-nothing, I think i misheard him.” You plastered a fake smile on your face, attempting to escape out of your lie.

“Johnny-hyung’s right, you can’t tell lies,” Jaehyun smirked.

“W-what?” You laughed nervously, “That’s bullshit, Johnny’s just trying to spoil my name.”

“You’re so obvious, Y/N,” Jaehyun threw his head in laughter.

You sighed, as you clenched your fists under the table, muttering a silent swear to kill your brother after this dinner. He did not just expose you to your crush, and an especially hot one, to say the least. Jaehyun’s outfit wasn’t helping anything either, he was over-dressed, definitely, wearing a silk choker with a black silk V-neck blouse, complete with skinny leather pants. You were over-dressed too, wearing a too-tight,body-hugging velvet maroon dress to match your Christian Dior heels, and your Chanel bag to top it all off. You weren’t materialistic, but Johnny chose that outfit, after you put on your makeup. To be fair, you weren’t rich, your parents were. They bought you those so that you could look good in formal events. The outfit you wore were strictly reserved for formal events, but Johnny shoved you back into your walk-in closet to change as “BreadStreet Kitchen is for people who look rich”. Anyhow, you were a fumbling mess in front of your too-soon crush, which happens to be one of the hottest bachelor DJs in the country. You played with the hem of your dress nervously, your crush had you speechless barely an hour into the fancy meal that your idiot brother had arranged. You hated to admit it, but Jaehyun was really fun to be around, unlike the countless guys your mother attempted to match-make you with. 

Your mouth spoke before you could even think, as you squeaked out, “D-do you like Messi?”

“Sorry?”

“Messi, like the football player.” You groaned inwardly, you just had to use one of the stupidest pick-up lines from Weightlifting Fairy KIm Bok Joo to confess to your crush.

Jaehyun could barely hide his laughter, “I don’t watch soccer,”

“Then take out the ‘ssi’ in Messi,” 

“Take out the-- oh.” Jaehyun laughed, “isn’t it too quick to confess to me?”

Where did his sudden confidence come from?

“I know, uhm, please excuse me,” You picked up your bag from the side and stood up a little too quickly, fumbling in your movements.

When you finally reached the restroom, you entered a stall and then melted onto the toilet seat, regretting your earlier stupid actions. Your mind just had to come up with a great solution to escape from embarrassment, which led you to a even deeper shit. You groaned, as the ringtone of your phone hit your ears.

“Hello?”

“How is miss prima ballerina? Have you guys started sucking each others’ faces yet?” 

“No”

“What?”

“I messed up.”

“What did you do?”

“I deadass confessed to Jaehyun using ‘Do you like Messi’ and I am regretting my life right now.”

“I didn’t know you were that bold, sis.”

“That’s not the point!” You raised your voice an octave higher, internally sighing relief that there was no one in the restroom except yourself, “You just had to make Jaehyun dress like a rich fuckboy, did you?!”

“I didn’t make him, I just told him to dress fancy.” You could see Johnny virtually shrugging at his comment.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, “I swear to god, Johnny Seo, if you ever make Jaehyun or myself pay for this meal I’m gonna--”

“Jaehyun is here to also do a review on the food, the meal is on the restaurant.”

“But--”

“No buts. Get your ass back to the table and clean up your own mess.” With that, the line went dead, a bad habit of Johnny’s.

You washed your hands, internally sighing to yourself once again. As you walked back to the table, you saw Jaehyun on his phone, incessantly typing on his phone. If even mundane things like typing on his phone could make you flustered, how were you even going to deal with his annoyingly good looking face for the rest of the meal?

“Did you poop?” Jaehyun smiled annoyingly, making your heart race.

“Y-yeah I did.” You cleared your throat uncomfortably, “The food’s taking really long to arrive, I’m starving.”

As if on command, your order arrived swiftly, the waiter presenting your food on a too-fancy pate. You weren’t gonna lie, the food looked really appetising.

“Thank you for the food.” You bowed politely as Jaehyun smiled back, making your heart burst into butterflies once again.

“The food was really good, thank you.” You thanked Jaehyun as the two of you exited the restaurant.

“No problem, I was supposed to do a food review anyway.” Jaehyun’s eyes disappeared into crescents, like the other time when he picked up Jieun.

“And also, uhm, I would really like it if you could forget... about earlier on.”

“What? Messi?” Jaehyun smirked.

“Don’t do that~” You whined cutely, in attempts to flirt with Jaehyun.

If your senses served you right, you could see the tips of Jaehyun’s ears turn red at the little gesture of affection, you were now a little more sure of how Jaehyun felt towards you.

“You know, I really enjoyed my time today, with you.” Jaehyun confessed.

“Really? I’m honoured.” You clutched your chest, making Jaehyun laugh.

“Really.” Jaehyun nodded, “Maybe we can go on another date sometime?”

You nearly choked on your saliva, “D-date?”

“Yeah, you know, I think,” Jaehyun paused.

“You think?”

“I might like you too,” Jaehyun’s arrogant demeanor changed suddenly, a little unlike the Jaehyun you had see for the past 2 hours.

“Isn’t it too fast to confess to me right now?” You mocked his words from earlier, earning an amused look from Jaehyun.

“We can go on a second date right now to find out,” Jaehyun gently took your hands in his, showing you his two cute dimples.

You squeezed his hand in return, “I would love that.”