#I remember finding the pic on pinterest somewhere

[i-looove-dillydallying]

Demons run when a good man goes to war…

[tgmsunmontue]

I never knew I was missing you 2/? WIP

Jake is just trying to find a connection. Shame the guy he connects with the most is lying about his identity online; because he sure as hell isn't A-list Hollywood star Bradley Bradshaw.

ONE

CHAPTER TWO

                Despite everything, PinballWizard is funny, dry and sarcastic with his humor, but definitely a nerd of the highest order. As well as being able to talk about pinball machines, he also knows a lot about naval aviation, can rattle off facts that even Jake hasn’t heard before but when he goes and looks them up, they check out. Jake assumes it’s how it ties into the model plane making. Obviously the guy is a fan of Bradley Bradshaw, imitation being the highest form of flattery or whatever it is, but Jake is wondering whether he can get an actual photo of him.

                He’s not too proud to admit that he’s a little vain, or a lot vain depending on who you ask. They’ve been chatting for a week now and Jake can’t believe how much he’s actually been enjoying it. Getting to know him, learning that he apparently lives with his two closest friends that he’s known since high school, enjoys swimming to keep fit but will do other things if he really has to. Grew up in California and has been coerced into doing all sorts of things because he loves his friends and would do anything for them. Jake has talked about being in the Navy and flying, both of which he seems incredibly knowledgeable about, which just makes him more convinced that it’s definitely not actually Bradley Bradshaw. Because while Jake doesn’t consider himself a huge fan, he’s pretty sure he’d have remembered if Bradley Bradshaw had any ties to the US Navy.

>>If you don’t believe me then why do you keep talking to me?

>>Well, even with your weird hobbies I find you more interesting than the people who are just sending me dick pics or only want to fuck.

>>Great to know what your priorities are.

>>Hey. Just telling it like it is.

>>Just be glad I’m not reporting you to the police for pretending to be someone you’re not.

>>I’d like to see how successful you are with that.

>>More successful than you.

>>Why are you talking to me when I don’t believe you?

>>Because I enjoy talking to you.

>>Yeah well, ditto.

>>What would it take for you to believe me?

                Jake sighs, because they’ve gone around this in circles once already, PinballWizard sending a new photo which Jake is pretty certain is simply stolen from the deep recess of the internet, somewhere like Pinterest or something. And sure enough another photo comes through and it’s definitely a candid shot, the stubble isn’t something he’s used to seeing in pictures, just the moustache, which he’d grown for a part and then found he liked it enough to keep it. Jake’s glad, he’s a fan of the moustache for sure. It does disappear for some parts, but Jake is always relieved when he sees it growing back. This photo though has an almost beard, and not a closely trimmed one, patchy in places and he wonders if maybe PinballWizard actually has access to Bradley Bradshaw’s private Instagram account or something.

>>You just grabbed that off the internet. It’s fine. Whatever.  Don’t send me a proper photo. You’re probably some pot-bellied guy in his 50s living in his parent’s basement mending your little machines…

                He knows he’s being an asshole, but he’s hoping to provoke him into at least something real. Knows what he’s typed out is at least half lies, PinballWizard talked about his friends too easily to make Jake think that they weren’t real, and he’d have to live with other people given the cost of rent. Then his phone chimes and the next photo that comes through makes him choke and cough, because holy shit, definitely not pot-bellied or in his 50s. There’s no face this time, but written on a piece of paper, very clearly, is Fuck you Brad2lover andif he’s not mistaken it looks like the guy is trying to give him the finger. His arms are nicely muscled, and his stomach is flat and there’s a hint of abs and he doesn’t think PinballWizard is even flexing. Holy shit.

>>Holy shit PW, why are you lying about who you are when you have a body like that?

>>Not lying, but you won’t believe me so we’ll just have to agree to disagree.

>>Damn you’re stubborn.

>>Yeah.

>>With good reason.

>>So are you.

                Jake laughs and shrugs, despite the fact that no one can see him.

>>My name’s Jake.

>>Share your name at least.

>>Call me Brad.

                Jake rolls his eyes.

>>Fine.

>>Brad it is.

…            …            …

                “Your flyboy checks out,” Ron says, taking a sip of coffee and Bradley looks up.

                “What?”

                “I did a background check. Plus I asked Ice to have a look. He’s squeaky clean.”

                “I didn’t ask you to do that,” Bradley states, even though he understand the necessity of it, he doesn’t have to like it.

                “No, you didn’t. You shouldn’t have to because it’s part of my job and I’m not letting your delicate sensibilities of wanting to find out about the person organically put you at risk again.”

                “Yeah. Fine,” Bradley says with a sigh.

                “I’m not telling you anything else. Just… you can trust him. Open up and share things.”

                “Well, he doesn’t believe it’s me he’s talking to anyway, so it doesn’t even matter.”

                “Huh. That’s not a problem I thought we’d have.”

                “Yeah well. It’s the problem I have.”

                “You like him?”

                “Uncle Sli, it’s hard to like a guy who thinks I’m lying to him.”

                “Taking that out of the equation, do you like him?”

                “I’ve been talking to him every day all week.”

                “Am I meant to extrapolate my own answer from that?”

                “Fine. Yes. I like him. Happy now? He makes me laugh. I don’t think he’d care about the fame, if he actually believed it was me. But he doesn’t.”

                “Hmm,” Sli hums, his eyes narrowing and Bradley shakes his head.

                “No. I don’t know what you’re thinking, but the answer is no.”

                “I wasn’t going to do anything.”

                “Do? Maybe not. But you can’t say anything either. Not to Mav, and not to Ice.”

                “Well, too late. Ice already knows, because he wanted to know why I was asking.”

                “Of course he did,” Bradley says, rubbing his forehead. God. This is going to turn into a huge mess. Maybe he should just cut his losses and stop chatting with Jake. “Please tell me you haven’t mentioned it to Mav at least…”

                “Nope. I haven’t. But you really want me keeping secrets from my husband?”

                “I want you to remember who pays you and that you’ve got a confidentiality clause you’re meant to stick to.”

                “You know very well he’s exempt…”

                Bradley sighs, because he’s right, because Mav decreed that he should know everything. Which of course has led to Bradley trying to keep even the smallest thing from him, and Ice lording it over him if he ever finds out something first.

                “Please. Don’t share anything with him. There not yet anything to share. He has no self-control, so please don’t tempt him with it…”

                “You know him so well.”

                “My whole life,” Bradley mutters, used to this refrain between them and prepares himself for the sappy rejoinder, ready to pull the face Sli expects him to make despite the fact that he wants what him and Mav have.

                “And the rest of mine.”

                “Gross. Go visit him. I’m not going anywhere.”

                “Don’t need to tell me twice.”

…            …            …

                Jake isn’t sure why he’s persisting with Brad, and he wonders if he should maybe do a little digging, but isn’t sure whether he can do about Bradley Bradshaw, or about Brad. He isn’t tech savvy enough to hack into anyone’s account, but he can ask harder to answer questions. Maybe see if he can get something concrete.

>>So, real talk.

>>Worst relationship?

>>Creepy stalker woman.

>>Any relationship that ends up having to involve the police is the worst.

>>Well shit, I was just going to say getting broken up with while deployed.

>>Yeah. That would suck.

>>Yeah. But still better than getting cheated on. Cause that sucks worse.

>>Ouch. Yeah. Been there too.

>>When did dating or finding someone get to be so hard?

>>I know my parents didn’t have it this hard.

                Bingo. Jake knows that Bradley Bradshaw is an orphan, his father dying when he was young and then his mom when he was a teenager. How has never been covered, questions deflected away carefully, but Brad is talking about his parents.

>>I mean, I can’t ask them, because they’re dead. But even my godfathers seem to have had it easier.

                Well shit, the guy clearly knows Bradley Bradshaw pretty well. Back to the drawing board it is.

THREE

[addicsvt]

Who are you, really?

" また桜が咲くまで待ちます。"

pairing - stranger sunghoon x stranger reader genre - minimal fluff + slight angst word count - 543 warnings - none atm synopsis - "why do you stay in my mind?" a/n - saw these pics on my pinterest and i had to do somethin, first time writing enha!!! also new layout??? how r we feeling

[ 見知らぬ人 ] ⤷ a stranger "good things happen when the cherry blossoms fall"

sunghoon wakes up, as he always does. the sky paints its usual blue shade, the streets are crowded with people, and the cherry blossoms have bloomed. he opens his window, careful to not swing it too hard. he sticks his palm out hoping to catch the flowers, he looks outside only to be met with your eyes from below. 

the eye contact doesn't last long, a millisecond at most. but sunghoon feels different, his sleepy state now replaced with an energetic one. he has to forget about this, about you, about whatever that encounter was.

he washes up a bit quicker than usual, grabbing the onigiri that rested on the table. tuna-mayo. he leaves the house making sure to lock the door before he heads on his usual train. his phone makes a buzzing notification as he takes it out of his pocket looking at it absentmindedly. 

"yaa! sunghoon-kun, takashi san is rambling my ear off about your late attendance again, i'm covering for you this time. your lucky im your friend." he reads, eyes tracing the paragraph. geez, he shouldn't have to come to school if only, he knew that his friend covered for him sooner.

"mk, see u at the new cafe? I'll treat you to pancakes" he responds, placing his phone back in his pocket as he arrives on the campus. he rubs his temples deciding to reside in his favorite library instead. 

he sets his bag on the chair beside him, walking to the shelves trying to find the latest chapter of a manga he has been reading. and soon enough his eyes take note of the manga, the last copy, he reaches a hand out to grab it before he feels another force tugging it. 

"oh," was all that could leave his mouth as his grip loosened on the book meeting your eyes. 

"were you getting this?" you muttered feeling exposed under his gaze, feeling as if you committed a crime.

"uhm yeah, I've been reading this, you can take it though, ill find it somewhere else." he blabbers before realizing how stupid he is, this is the only library that has this copy. and he's giving it to some random stranger. 

"but this is the only store that has it, at least in Osaka?" you point out making him look even stupider, sunghoon feels his cheeks on fire. 

"ah, erm, I-" he mumbles trying to collect himself but it's a useless attempt. he has never felt this weak, this embarrassed before. he considers himself cool, collected, and peaceful even. but he probably has to reconsider that. 

Why did you have to look like that?? if you never stared at him like that he would've never messed up. he murmurs some excuse as he grabs his backpack leaving the library, his second home. how could he let a stranger take over his life? 

that night, he doesn't sleep at all. he's twisting and turning, he knows he has seen you before. think, think, think. he tries to remember, getting frustrated with himself. he decides to forget about this day, whatever this was. but he can't forget, a part of you still lingers in his mind. but he's too afraid to admit that, afterall he's always been a coward.

ADDICSVT 2024

[scyphosunny]

vargastober day 1 !! time to make pretty pieces !!!

HUGE RANT INCOMING !!!! LET'S GET TO IT

okay so it's currently almost 5AM and i set up an alarm in four hours but hey let's just write an entry right now :DDDD ( at this rate i will die soon

i remember that when i saw this prompt in the list , my brain immediately said " 20 / 21 " . YOU KNOW ME , I JUST LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH . and once i had all of the prompts , i put all of them in one of those websites to randomize the order of something ??????? yeah . and " memory " was the first one to appear . ( smiles mischievously

okay . . . of course i had to get something to do on the very first day . i'm going out with my famiily today , and i won't be back until tomorrow . . . great timing isn't it

so idk like three hours ago i had to SIT DOWN and work on this . i was extra stressed because i chose to work on some edgar / jake first , for some reason .

then my sister got home and YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS , IT'S CODE LYOKO TIME !!!!! it was like 10PM and i didn't want to get myself to work on it . i really didn't feel like drawing yesterday . but i still did , because usually that means i can just push myself a little bit and if i get something that i like at least a bit , i'll probably just work with it and enjoy it !

for this whole thing , i had an extremely specific reference saved SOMEWHERE on my phone . that thing when you see something neat , and you're like " hey i want to draw that " then , take a screenshot and forget about it forever . I HAD THIS ONE REALLY FRESH ON MY BRAIN THOUGH !! and even if there's plenty of things i could do for this one ( fuck , i even have a whole pinterest board for them !! and for the rest of the characters , really ) i really REALLY wanted to get this one done taking that picture as a reference .

it was a picture of a little girl kneeling down to get some flowers . . . and the whole thing just screamed childhood for me . i could probably just do the whole thing without a reference but i wanted to see the background and overall the slight blurriness to it . that would be harder to recreate without a reference . but i just had this picture floating somewhere on my phone's photos . i didn't even remember the year i took the screenshot ! and i didn't want to check through 13k pics on my phone to find it . i used to clean my gallery a lot , but since i got a phone with a fair amount of storage ( unlike last one ) i stopped doing it so much because it isn't really necessary anymore lolz . so yeah . . . i didn't want to look for it . last time i checked my phone's photos from last year i got depressed because i fully believe i had everything and lost it all . but hey that's not the point-

at the end , i did find the picture ! didn't take too long , too . . .

and here it is ! a tiktok screenshot of an age regression post . really fitting . i wanted it to have this kind of , hazy dreamy end to it . a memory . ( laughing

GOT TO WORK . I HAD TO . THERE WOULD BE NO TIME THE NEXT DAY !!!!!!!!!

first i made this incredibly poor sketch to see how bad it'd look because HONESTLY i didn't think i'd get it right first try . AND I HAD NO TIME TO TRY AGAIN

i've been working with backgrounds for a while , and one thing is certain . i SUCK at them i've already had two pretty pieces ruined by shitty / unfinished backgrounds . last one i made ( the fireflies one ) was at least a bit better . and well , IT WAS FINISHED .

the main problem i had with backgrounds is that , my art is pretty line heavy . and the way most people do backgrounds is just like , scribbling things around with big brushes and stuff . first time i tried . idk it just looked odd ! the characters were so sharp looking and the background looked blurry , almost . i don't even have a picture to show because the file of the piece i'm talking about got CORRUPTED at some point , so . . .

there's this guy on instagram that makes tutorials and just MAKES IT LOOK SO EASY IN WAYS I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND . i did notice something , though . . . this person started with the background first , then drew the character . made sense . i mean yes , that would make the character actually fit in the piece . . . . . . it's funny because yeah common sense OF COURSE you start with the background but MY BRAIN REFUSED TO ACCEPT IT FOR SOME REASON i don't want to draw boring backgrounds I WANT TO MAKE PRETTY CHARACTERS WITH PRETTY HAIR AND PRETTY CLOTHES

( by the way , this is the guy and this is the tutorial i followed ! check his art everything's so cool

i COULDN'T ALLOW MYSELF TO FAIL THIS TIME so i tried it this way . didn't take a lot of screenshots of the progress because i was like JUST FOCUSING ON GETTING THE PIECE DONE but hey i had some screenshots i sent to brusk

started with the sky . . . then added clouds , some mountains . . . brusk told me she liked it ! that it had undertale vibes lolz

then adding bushes . . . some trees . . . the place scri would be standing on . . . i watched the tutorial , got similar colors but still took the reference pic as well , a reference lolz

if there's something i hate , is detailing grass . really really hate it I CAN NEVER MAKE IT LOOK RIGHT . seeing just a nice , open field like this one made me think of another drawing idea i have for them

i have at least three pieces like this on my pinterest ideas board . i was like " what if i do something like this instead " but NNNOOO !!!! I HAD A REFERENCE TO FOLLOW ! and quickly got back to the original idea . hmm . . . i still want to draw a piece like that , though . . .

then , i just detailed the grass a bit more . . . added pretty yellow flowers .

i liked how it looked so far ! which was surprising . i usually never like my backgrounds .

then , TIME FOR THE FFFFFFUN PART !! SKETCHING THE CHARACTER !!!

this was the initial sketch . i keep saying " YYEAHH I DON'T DRAW LINE !! MY SKETCH IS MY LINE !! I'M COOL AND SUPERIOR " but nah this piece and most of them have at least the smallest sketches . i lied to you guys .

honestly . . . i didn't really liked how it looked . bleh .

still , chose a nice , pencil-like brush to work on the line . the background doesn't look really sharp , and i wanted to avoid the problem i talked about before ! characters looking solid and background looking blurry . i used this brush before for a little thing before and i thought it'd be harder to use . but everything okay .

this is what the line looked like at first ! love detailing lines and stuff but i didn't really give myself enough time to detail this one as much . half of the details would be lost , at the end . . .

flat colors ! and a pic of william looking like he's constipated on top lolz . that frame is so funny . i know he's suffering and getting his memory back BUT IDC . I KEEP WATCHING CL ANALYSIS VIDEOS . I CAN'T HELP IT , THEY'RE SO COOL TO WATCH

i had to make my colors a bit less saturated for them to fit the piece . you can't really notice at the end , since the filters i added made it look normal lolz

little break to talk about mmmusic !!! okay so , you know . i really like code lyoko . they have this fake band called " the subdigitals " and one of their tracks was used on the credits of the show . nice song . well , once i read in reddit that they had actual songs ! so , i searched in youtube and THEY DO HAVE MORE SONGS ! a fair amount of them , too . . . so i've been listening to them for days now . THEY'RE REALLY GOOD I CAN'T HELP IT

i really like how distorted XANA's eye looks here lol

( also this is just an excuse to show my old youtube . i love add-ons

BACK TO DRAWING . after flat colors , shading was next ! and oh i've seen people shade with purple since i was a kid . but i was like " that doesn't make sense . I'M DIFFERENT AND I'LL DO IT ANOTHER WAY " so i did , but IT JUST DIDN'T LOOK RIGHT . so i had to . ( sigh ) . shade with purple . ( and it looks great !

TO BE FAIR i do add a bit of a darker blue when shading but this time i just used it as it is .

oh also i did have to go back and correct the colors a bit for it to fit better . this time , i didn't color his hair like i usually do ! i wanted something less scribbly , more solid . . . i think it looks pretty . his hair is shining !

SCRI DIDN'T HAVE FEET AT FIRST i didn't draw them because i mean you can't really see them on the reference picture . but here it just looks like he's SINKING INTO THE FFLOOR OR SOMETHINg so i went back and added them . . .

coloring the line was really important on this one ! at the end , scri did look sharper than the background AGAIN so i tried and colored the line in a way that it wasn't that noticeable . i like it . should do it more often .

even after colring the line he still didn't so i had to save the background and a png of scri's character , set them on a different canvas and then blur scriabin just a little . I REFUSE TO MERGE MY LAYERS . YOU CAN'T MAKE ME

once the colors were set and done , i went to add a bunch of filters ! only to notice that !! i forgot the freckles !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! way to go , sunny !

( most of the pics i added here do have freckles on them because i took them after finishing the piece but . yeah

so i had to GO BACK get everything set and add the filters again . AND , AFTER 5 HOURS OF WORK , WE HAVE THIS PIECE !!!! i forgot the freckles because i don't add them as part of the line anymore . they were harder to color like this . . . so i just paint them on his face when i'm rendering . ah well .

i was strugggggling to find a way to crop it , and now half of the background it's gone . gggreat . i don't think i achieved that hazy feeling , if i'm honest . . . but i still like it a lot . so i'm pretty happy with the result .

( also , i should sign these . it's been a while since i signed any of these ! i just don't know where to add the watermark !

this is the pic with and without the filter !

then , i go to bed , get comfortable and warm . only to realize . . .

I FORGOT . THE YARN . ON SCRIABIN'S HAIR .

GOD DAMMIT

i tried to add it on ibis paint because i DIDN'T WANT TO COME BACK TO THE FILE , ADD IT , CROP IT , PUT THE 999999999999999 FILTERS I ADDED AND GET IT ON THE POST . let's just say it's on the bit of hair we can't see on the picture .

i fforgot it because !!!!!!!!! i ddddon't know !!!!! HOW CAN I FORGET THE MOST IMPORTANT PART WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU

oh , and also . this is how my canvases usually look . i make huuuge files just so i can have lots of spacte to add a bunch of references in the canvas and then crop everything out when i'm done using them .

like this piece i made for the askblog ! hahahahah

i don't really know if there's anything else to add . just that i'm glad i'm doing this , i'm glad i got this one done on time AND I'M EXCITED TO WORK ON THE REST OF THESE

happy october , expect more pieces soon ! :D

( also , as an extra ! here's the piece my 10y.o sister made for today ! lolol

( bbbbefore you come at me and be like " why did you show vargas to a ten year old WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU " i kind of . didn't ? and did at the same time ! she saw me drawng them a year ago , got interested and i explained their dynamic to her . now she knows them ! of course , she doesn't know the DEEP PART OF IT lol

[koishiro]

Ermmm quick question… HOW DOES IT FEEL TO HAVE A BEAUTIFUL AF BLOG?? Like pls share and help me out bc my blog is BARE and empty and looks nasty af, I wanna make my pinned posts and moodboards and just pfp and theme look pretayyy ☹️☹️

Awe thank youuu!!! >.< I think bc I’m such a minimalist in rl it’s easier for me to pick and choose. But here’s a tutorial that’ll hopefully help :33

NOTE! I do everything on my iphone (writing, editing, decorating my page etc just in case ur wondering if I do all this on a laptop/computer,,,I don’t :p)

ʚ The way I work is I’ll choose 3 main colours; a light colour, an in-between shade and then a dark colour. Mine for example : light colour: white, in-between shade: grey, dark colour: dark grey. It’s up to you whether you want ur dark or light colour to be ur main colour but I’d keep ur in-between shade as an in-between. (Think of ur in-between shade as a gradient, helping to blend ur light colour with ur dark colour)

AND CHOOSE COLOURS THAT WORK TOGETHER! Even when picking pictures like for example ur navigation or pinned page make sure the pics have the same three colour combo you used through ur whole blog even if its minuscule it’ll make a huge difference I promise u (so like I’d personally look out for white, grey and black accent pics for my blog on Pinterest) :

ʚ Even with moodboards I still work with the same mindset! :

SET YOUR THEME! Once you’ve figured out your colours and where they’ll go, set your blog’s theme from the editing page!!! (hint : I’d use your mid/gradient/in-between shade as your accent but it honestly depends on what ur after) :

ʚ What really helps is when you have a pic theme and what I mean by that is maybe use ur fav character from somewhere (like mines megumi from jjk) or maybe it’s a sanrio character like my melody. (I grab my pics from this Pinterest board if that helps which I also use for my moodboards)

Example :

⤷ I also found it helped my aesthetic when I added links into my bio to help find my carrd and navigation (here’s the link for the tut) it helps fill out ur bio especially if ur not sure what to put there :) — I know earlier I said I do everything on my phone but I’m not entirely sure if this is able to be done on a phone (android or iphone) so I’d use a laptop with this part if you can :))

Miscellaneous things you can add!

ʚ You can also customise ur ask page title (like mine is : send me a love letter ︎♡)

ʚ Keep ur writing post themes consistent — this helps readers actually remember ur work while also tying ur blog together.

For example, I always use this draft for my writing :

ʚ Fonts really help! I personally use the app : keyboard + + for free fonts (u just have to watch a few adds to unlock them)

ʚ I find it important to make sure whatever picture you add to your blog has a transparent background — not everyone has the same colour palette (like mine is permanently on Dark Mode while others will have theirs on Gothic) :

(I use Picsart for this)

ʚ Tags make a difference on your posts too! A separate tag index can also help ur followers know where to find certain posts for easy scrolling or maybe posts they want to avoid (like smut) :

ʚ For my pfp I chose a bright main colour like yellow to stand out against the dark grey of my blog and I usually leave this as the last step in my “blog decoration” just because I find it easier once all the main construction is done and then I can see what colour(s) I need to add back to tie my blog together.

ʚ I also like to hide my pfp/avatar from my bio bc it looks a bit too much and too big for me personally and it can sometimes clash with the colours you already have going on, I like a minuscule pfp but again that’s just preference :

Anywhoooo I think that’s it! Hopefully this helped and if you (or anyone else) have anymore questions or if you want me to personally help you with decorating your blog pls pls pls message me and I’ll be happy to help! ,,,Mwah! <3

[kissmetwicekissmedeadly]

Hi! Can I ask a question?

How do you deal with posing your drawings?

I wanted to get back into drawing, but I struggle so much with poses, and I find your drawings so dynamic.

:OO!!!

Oh my god! For some reason I keep being surprised that im an artist?? I HOPE I CAN GIVE YOU GOOD ADVICE FANG! Thank you for asking!!

What I tell myself when I begin thinking about what im gonna draw this time, is "i need something happening in this art", my mind goes to, for instance, "autumn themed...snuggling, warmth, cuddles" so i try to transform this into a specific action instead, if they're snuggled maybe "let's make mc hold a mug, omg maybe it can hide her mouth as she's lifting it to her lips to take a sip" and my next thought that just came to me right now is "or maybe napoleon stealing the mug and mc making a surprised/angry expression at him" - which is close to that dynamic you're looking for, I hope! this was my thought process #1 showcased in action... now, if your imagination doesn't happen to work today, your second best option is to get inspired from elsewhere - my go-to account for pose references is kamitokatachi on twitter!

(i forgot the username and. i follow 1600 people on there. i went to my gallery to find one of their pics i saved so i could reverse search it. i suddenly remembered that i wanted to see on which date last year i put up the xmas decorations at home, so while i was already there... i started stopping at nearly every photo along the way in my gallery. then a song came up on my playlist that i havent heard in ages and i just had to stop and listen and.... 20 minutes later i found the username! I still wonder why i dont just keep a note with it somewhere. This happens every time i start drawing, fang. save me, fang)

Dynamic poses are pain in the ass, so dont be afraid to look at references, otherwise you'll piss yourself off and it would lead to nowhere. look at other art (twitter artists, pinterest, zerochan, even google might do the trick...) until you find that one where the character is facing the exact way you want yours to face - remember to only take small details from there and there and twist them into something original and yours. for me this happens naturally because as much as i try to duplicate a pose, i never do it right and it becomes a whole another pose HAHAH

if you want something simple but still dynamic, like a character standing prettily but not like, just standing, think about it like a movie scene where the director really wanted to make them look nonchalantly sexy while going through their day, and you have to pause at one frame, and that movie still is your drawing!

anyway, that's how my brain works! hope it was helpful!

[httpiastri]

pepe does deserve any and every compliment in the world… and not talking about his happy trail would also make me go crazy… and isn’t unhealthy to repress your emotions? even pepe has a psychologist to help him… and i think we should learn from example so

AAAAAAA AJSJKAKSKS i don’t even KNOW HOW TO PUT IT IN A NICE AND POLITE AND FORMAL AND OBJECTIVE MANNER (and trust me when i say ive thought long and hard about this… (about this phrasing… not about him of course…))

I MEAN THIS ISN’T THE FIRST TIME (okay sorry i’ll use my indoor voice) we’ve seen his bare torso but like 🤭 we’ve seen it in chasing the dream when he was in that silly little inflatable pool but also remember how i mentioned that ive liked him since like 2022? and that you were one of the first few people to have his name anywhere on your blog? don’t know if you did this but i used to regularly search him up on pinterest hoping one day there would be frequent new and good pepe content on there (used to search him up on tumblr too and that’s how i first found you but anyway)

obviously… because there’s loads more pepe pics on pinterest these days, lots of older ones disappear and i think sometime last year there was a pepe picture with christian where he was shirtless and like its just the top half of his body but… THIS IS SO WRONG i can’t say anymore because im ashamed but basically i am a big fan of pepe 👍 i love his work 💗 i love his driving style 💗 i love his face 💗 i like that he does not shave much 💗 like with his stubble that time 💗 and more 💗 maybe especially so 💗 i hope he wins in barcelona 💗 and even more 💗

if you could see me right now you’d see how ive been pacing around typing this and trying to hold back from jumping up and down and squealing yippee!!

- 🪷

oh yes, it's definitely unhealthy!!! i wouldnt wanna see you feeling bad bcs you cant let out your feelings abt pepe's happy trail 🥺 ALSKDJDFJ

no bcs i kinda freaked in the chasing the dream clip too..... (i mean i did have it as my banner on my fic rec blog ever since then shkdhfdj i only changed it the other day 😶) and its funny because i usually don't find body hair that attractive but uh... i mean anything abt pepe is 🥰 but aaaaaa i wish i had been a fan of him since that long too, i just saw him in the beginning of last season and liked him instantly 🤭 but hmmm i mean if you were to find that pic somewhere... uh it would be kinda funny if it just happened to find its way to my inbox....... 😶 but pls don't feel embarrassed because you're not alone in what you feel 🥰 i too kinda hope he wins in barcelona 🥰 and has a good life 🥰 and that he's happy 🥰 if he wants someone to cheer him up in between races i may know someone who could offer 🥰

ur so real for that, like... how can someone not have that reaction to thinking abt pepe?........

[honeybellexox]

Headcanon #3

TW: mentions of gr***ing

Khushi Kumari Gupta is neurodivergent. Yep, I said it. Specifically undiagnosed ADHD. I’m no psychologist but there’s so much evidence in the show to imply her neurodivergence (ND).

(I also have adhd-nd and she’s very relatable).

I’ll attempt to skim the show and find specific instances in a later post if anyone is interested but from the top of my head, the one example that I can recall that showcases her ND, is when she accidentally slaps Arnav. This scene highlights her impulsivity and her being out of touch with social norms. Her general personality is much like this, she’s very offbeat, I think it goes deeper than general ‘quirkiness’ or ‘manic pixie dream girl’ syndrome. Just generally will go over some of her traits that indicate her ND/ADHD; excessive daydreaming, impulsivity, inclination for drama, poor understanding of social norms (not in the same way a person with autism struggles, people with ADHD can read the room but their reactions may be inappropriate at times - suicide track ), fixations, self soothing behaviours (fidgeting, making jalebi when upset), her childlike behaviour/immaturity for her age (expanding on this below).

(Pic from Pinterest)

People with ND take slightly longer to mature, it’s a bit of paradox as when they’re children they’re seen ‘mature’ for their age but that becomes the opposite at early adulthood (this is a generalisation and not every person with ND fits the same narrative, but myself and my friends experienced this dynamic and a lot of people with ND relate to this phenomenon). Khushi seemingly also fits into this narrative, when we first meet her, she first comes across as ‘mature’ (on surface level), she’s also heavily masking but we see her childlike nature as the show progresses, this also quickly becomes dark in hindsight, ( TW) Shyam essentially grooms Khushi, yes she’s an adult but she’s a young adult (be it 18 or 22), an on top of that a young adult woman with ND. I don’t mean to infantilise women with ND but there is a marked difference in development and understanding; young adult women with ND are also known to be more likely at risk of s***** abuse and grooming as predators are drawn to their lack of boundaries, experience and understanding.

But I digress, I know this is a controversial take and I hope I didn’t offend anyone making this post; especially women with ND who might read this, I honestly went of my own experience, my friends (I have many friends with diagnosed ND who had the same experience of feeling mentally younger and being infantilised) and basically what I did at uni, I worked with people learning disabilities - for the life of me, I wish I could reference the last claim, I vividly remember reading it somewhere (online article/book) but I couldn’t find it 😭💖 - but please remember that this was a generalisation and it doesn’t mean every individual with ND has the same experience xx

Honey💖

[lovecraftian-lolita]

for the ask game: 1, 6, 19 💕

1. how and when did you first get introduced to the fashion?

I was online one day and I saw the cutest sailor dress for sale on an ad to a website called “lolita wardrobe” I spent HOURS on that site almost sobbing cause I never know you could just… dress like this???? Be a princess irl?? Like all of the anime + Disney princess movies I watched for hours on end??? This was back in 2013 I think. I was still in middle school. I was so so happy, I ended up doing a ton of research over the next year and my Nana even bought me a blouse/skirt set. (I was obsessed with sailor styles at the time) and yeah, the rest is history.

6.do you have a favorite lolita/does anyone inspire you?

Hm, I don’t think I have a particular person that inspires me. Instead, I usually just find pictures of “perfect coords” I wanna emulate and save them to my Pinterest to be studied extensively.

A couple of my favs that I think are peak:

19. do you remember the first dress you ever saw? do you still like it?

I think it’s ok :/ kinda happy I sold it? It’s not really my style anymore, still cute tho! It’s a sailor set. Idk if I can find the pic but I know it’s somewhere in the asks on my blog.

[fewsystemsinonebody]

PART 1: BRAIN MADE ALTERS

💫 - do you have a face claim? if so, what is it, and how'd you find it? we find our faceclaims in google or pinterest basing on tags/key words like hair color for example then look for the most similar guy, it's a long process, some alters didn't have a proper pic for years as those people are only similar to us, not identical ⭐ - do you have a "theme song", or a song you think describes you? we have our fronting songs as well as our favorite ones 🌟 - what's your voice claim, if you have one? we usually don't do that, some might compare their inner or irl voice to somebody but we have mostly our own, we don't have such a good hearing anyway to compare ✨ - do you have any friends or family in the system? we have families that we made several posts about before, we kinda treat each other as one big family anyway, brothers unless we are dating, most of us are not really biologically related, just written by the same author more likely that we call fathers/firsts but they're not alters, when it comes to friends - we usually spend time as couples or everyone together as a crowd but some of us are closer to host like Jack, Brie or Nat and Jerry is a friend of Jimmy for ages now too 🌜 - did you form with any pseudo memories, despite not having a direct source? yep, our source is trauma mirrored inward

PART 2: INTROJECTED ALTERS

🌾 - do you like your source? if so, does it bring you comfort? we mostly introjected faces, nothing more tbh 🌱 - do you feel connected to your source, or more separate? we don't feel really/very connected, we might like a source as a movie to watch eventually 🌿 - do you have any pseudo memories? are there any you'd like to share, if so? plenty and no, thx, there's too many and plenty are traumatic 🍃 - what are your opinions on interacting with source mates? nah ☘ - do you look like or sound like your source? the first one a bit, not sure if sound but doubt it

PART 3: HEADSPACE

🍓 - does your headspace have layers to it? if so, how many? used to, not anymore 🍒 - is your headspace big, small, or somewhere in between? like a big city that has forest and water around I'd say 🍎 - was your headspace there when you first discovered you were a system, or did you have to make/build it? was there, we kinda changed the house we live in with time but it was a hard and dangerous process as it was still part of the illness - not imagination 🍉 - has your headspace changed over time, or has it generally stayed the same? it changed, we no longer have NPCs and animals besides horses so we don't have any places like stores working and we don't need jobs, we use illusion now when we couldn't before to create food so we are no longer hungry, some dangerous things got eliminated so the place usually feels safer or just different, as I mention our house looks different now too, we have some additional places around for fun as well 🍑 - do your alters have their own spaces/rooms? we have our own rooms, some couples live together, some not - especially if they're poly

PART 4: DISCOVERY RELATED QUESTIONS

🛑 - how old were you when you first discovered your system? body was 28 when host discovered our system 🚧 - do you remember who was host when you discovered your system? are they still host now? host never changed, Nat was a co-host for some time but that's it 🚨 - have roles within your system changed a lot since you first discovered your system? massively, we were mostly inner system so almost everything about how system works had to change when we started fronting ⛽ - how did you discover you were a system? host got an access to the knowledge of our existence one day, it was a good enough moment, we had to help her with her relationship and couldn't do it behind her back anymore so when our gf at the time told our host about a show about DID she just opened up about Nat immediately 🧭 - were there any obvious signs that you were a system before your discovery? not many but still

system ask game, because i'm bored!

PART 1: BRAIN MADE ALTERS

💫 - do you have a face claim? if so, what is it, and how'd you find it? ⭐ - do you have a "theme song", or a song you think describes you? 🌟 - what's your voice claim, if you have one? ✨ - do you have any friends or family in the system? 🌜 - did you form with any pseudo memories, despite not having a direct source?

PART 2: INTROJECTED ALTERS

🌾 - do you like your source? if so, does it bring you comfort? 🌱 - do you feel connected to your source, or more separate? 🌿 - do you have any pseudo memories? are there any you'd like to share, if so? 🍃 - what are your opinions on interacting with source mates? ☘ - do you look like or sound like your source?

PART 3: HEADSPACE

🍓 - does your headspace have layers to it? if so, how many? 🍒 - is your headspace big, small, or somewhere in between? 🍎 - was your headspace there when you first discovered you were a system, or did you have to make/build it? 🍉 - has your headspace changed over time, or has it generally stayed the same? 🍑 - do your alters have their own spaces/rooms?

PART 4: DISCOVERY RELATED QUESTIONS

🛑 - how old were you when you first discovered your system? 🚧 - do you remember who was host when you discovered your system? are they still host now? 🚨 - have roles within your system changed a lot since you first discovered your system? ⛽ - how did you discover you were a system? 🧭 - were there any obvious signs that you were a system before your discovery? feel free to send any of these asks in/our way as well! have fun lovelies!

[poisonouswritings]

OC Introduction: Kit

Hey everyone! Ignore the fact this came out way later in the day than I intended

Credit to @bananacockatiel [Reg] for the character profile/intro cards, the chibis, and the special pictures, as well as just generally being supportive of my spitballing and willing to listen to me ramble all the time lol.

Let's start with these (the full-body Kit was done by me with many many references. The outfit is partially inspired by the Assassin's Faith suit and general Pigeon aesthetics from LN and some pics I found on Pinterest. The profile picture and little chibi are courtesy of Reg, as are the actual cards)

To briefly go over Kit's backstory (CW: abuse/assault mentions, death)

She's a half-demon born on Halloween in the middle of the Virginia forest, aka where a lot of (American) cryptids are said to live. Why? Because it was spooky and silly and I refuse to let cringe culture make me feel bad for wanting to be spooky and silly

She was born into a cult-ish house with her over-aggressive and alcoholic father (Matthew), negligent and cowardly mother (Roseanne), and golden child older sister (Eve). Matthew is a (fallen/disgraced) angel, Rose is a human, Eve is a half-angel, and Kit (originally named Lilith) is a half-demon (long story short, she ends up finding out during the main story that Rose slept with a demon). Being the only demon, Lilith is frequently punished and mistreated by Matthew and Eve. She meets a white cat which turns out to be a demonic Familiar. Lilith calls her Snow. No one except Matthew is allowed to leave the forest, so Lilith is only able to learn about the outside world through Snow and through a shitty old bunny ear TV.

Shortly after turning 11, Lilith decided to run away with Snow. She tried to convince Eve to escape with them, but Eve refused. Worried that Lilith would either die somewhere in the woods or get caught by Matthew and severely punished, Eve attempted to use her magic to stop them leaving. This turned into an emotionally-charged magic fight ending with Lilith accidentally triggering her magic and throwing Eve. Unfortunately Eve went head-first and ended up dying. Lilith's screaming and freaking out finally wakes up Matthew (drunk) and Roseanne. Matthew goes balistic and in a fit of rage/grief, loses control of his powers and sets the house on fire. Snow is able to pull Lilith outside while Matthew and Rose both perish. Lilith is obviously severely traumatized and blames herself, having a complete mental shutdown. Snow decides the only thing she can do is wipe Lilith's memories of the accident, and additionally removes any memory of magic so Lilith isn't left questioning whether or not she's a monster. Snow also uses her own magic to suppress Lilith's, having to surrender her human/demon form and being stuck as a cat for the rest of her life. Now all Lilith remembers is being abused by a hyper-religious family, having a pet cat, and a house fire. She decides to abandon her name, and she and Snow leave the forest for good.

The two travel and live on the streets for two years before ultimately ending up in San Diego on the streets where they befriend a teenager (Ken). Ken's parents (Reyes and Morgan) ultimately end up taking them in. They notice how protective Snow is towards Lilith (who doesn't have a name by this point) and start calling her Kitty, which eventually gets shortened to Kit.

Reyes (Mexican) teaches Kit about relationships and emotions and family. Morgan (ex-ballet performer and also autistic) teaches Kit how to dance and fight, but also things like how to safely stim, that it's okay to ask for help, how to pick on emotional choreography, etc. Ken (a teenager) teaches Kit about pop culture and how to use technology. He's the one who gets Kit into Last Legacy. It ends up becoming a special interest of hers and he's always happy to listen to her rambling. Music ends up playing a massive part of Kit's life and how she relates to emotions so it is kinda plot-relevant and I'm totally allowed to mention it!! Also she has a 'field journal' that she uses to keep track of different emotions, expressions, idioms, social cues, etc that are common and give her trouble. So you can constantly find her reading and making notes and sketching. Have you guys heard about how autistic children were often thought to be Changelings during the Middle Ages? Well no one in Astraea knows about autism so when they find her notebook, they start questioning if she's actually a Changeling. Just a silly little thing I thought was funny.

Shortly after turning 21, Kit is assaulted. Snow (still stuck in cat form) tries to protect her but ends up being killed. Kit is severely traumatized. She eventually accepts the fact it wasn't her fault but still struggles with it all five years later (aka when the main story starts). The longer she's in Astraea, the more Snow's spells begin wearing off, and the more Kit's memories/powers begin to re-emerge.

While I do write stuff for all three routes, I mainly do Kit/Sage. She chooses him to be her teacher because A) she already knows physical fighting from Morgan teaching her and B) he is a fluffy white cat and reminds her of Snow and she really needs the comfort.

Relationship chart of what Kit's relationship is or would be with each character (again, credit to Reg for the adorable chibi)

Kit's Astrolabe, which I posted as part of LegacyTober. Like I mentioned in that post, I was initially under the impression that the Astrolabe couldn't be an actual weapon because it's a healing item and therefore violence would be antithetical. My friend told me there was actually apparently a sword version for the Astrolabe that was apparently cut from the final game?? I'm super sad about that. Anyways, since Kit learned how to fight through Morgan, she's very focused on timing and beats and ends up being a very smooth/agile fighter. She often hums/sings to herself as a stim but also to help her maintain her tempo during battle. Also, since music has always been a big part of her life and a way for her to express her emotions, it just kinda seemed fitting. So the Astrolabe is a microphone. Something about the magic transforms her phone into that gem at the bottom, which allows the Astrolabe to use the specific song she's singing to better access her emotions. It's also meant to resemble a moon (the gems along the ridge mimic the phases of the moon and the spine-fabric behind the actual mike is meant to be a pop filter but also obviously a crescent) because Kit loves the night and also I liked the contrast with Sage and Zenith.

Bonus: Kit's initial cosplay/StarSworn uniform! Partially inspired by the Heaven Messenger suit and other Lilith clothing from LN, and partially from Pinterest.

And the full versions of Reg's amazing drawings (+ an amazing piece she did for my birthday with our OC's and I love them so so so much)

Anyways, I think that's about it! I'd love to answer any questions/comments you guys have (as long as you're nice about it! If you think she/her backstory/whatever is dumb then just. Don't. Tell me that.) because I've been working on Kit ever since I got into LL and she is a big chunk of why I'm still into the game. Also the more I talk about her the more I'm able to think of things and come up with new stuff.

[unnuevosoltransformalarealidad]

Rescue Me [Part 03]

Pic From Pinterest | Divider by @firefly-graphics​

Summary: Sam does something for you that makes your heart melt. 

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader

Prompt: Romantic Gesture for @fictional-affairs ​‘ 250 Follower Challenge

Squares filled: Mutual Pining for @samwinchesterbingo​

Word Count: 880

Warnings: Insecurities, mutual pining, fluff, beach date

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Four weeks later

After the minor accident in your house and later on released, Sam basically installed in your house and barely left your side.

Having Sam with you at all times brought back the safe feeling and comfort of being in your home. 

You didn't want to admit it, but Dean was right. Being there, near the beach really helped you to get better in every way, not only physically but mentally too. 

Sam was always texting you or calling you, claiming he was just checking in on you. You were grateful to Dean for bringing the both of you together, you noticed that Sam was kind of lonely even though some of his co-workers were close friends of his. You also noticed that whenever Dean was around he stopped going around with his friends and stayed with you two.

Sam really took you out of your shell, you haven't felt this happy in a really long time, if it wasn't for them, well him actually, you'd probably be somewhere else, if not dead. 

Even though not everything was happy, there were days when you felt sad and unsafe, you were afraid that Ashton would show up and try to hurt you, Sam always tried his best to make you feel safe and comfortable, and kept reminding you that he was going to be there for you whenever you needed him. 

You appreciated every little thing he did for you, and you tried to thank him in every possible way, but there was one thing you wanted to do but weren't able to. 

You wished you could hug him, giving a hug for you was something very personal, very intimate, but with Sam, there was something that held you back, probably it was your mind reminding you that your relationship with Ashton started the same way.

However, Sam was one of the best human beings you could've ever encountered in life. He never pushed you to explain yourself, he never forced you to do anything, he was there to hear you, to help you, to keep you company, he was there for you not wanting anything in exchange. You knew he was doing everything because he cared.

One morning, when you went to your kitchen to get breakfast ready, there was a small note next to a cup of your favorite coffee and pastries.

"Meet me at the beach entrance. 6 pm. Wear something comfortable. XO Sam"

Seeing the note with the coffee and pastries warmed your heart, but reading the note made you feel love again. You didn't know if you were ready to find love again, but Sam made you feel things you clearly haven't felt before.

You were excited about what he was planning. 

Fifteen minutes before six, you arrived where Sam asked. He was there, waiting for you.

"I knew you were going to arrive early," he said, approaching you. He grabbed your hand and kissed your cheek, then put a strand of hair behind your ear looking at you with dopey eyes. 

You just need to tug his hand to lower him and just kiss him, but what if you are reading everything wrong? 

"Shall we?" He asked, and you nodded. He intertwined his fingers with yours and guided you towards the beach.

There was a blanket laying on the sand with pillows and a picnic basket.

"Sam, this is stunning," you said, "it's…"

"Like you always wanted to have a date. I know, I remembered" he said, interrupting you.

You wanted to hug him so badly but you weren't sure. "Thank you, this is absolutely stunning. Thank you" he kissed your forehead and led you to the blanket.

The food Sam picked was perfect, most of the treats were the ones you mentioned in random conversations and he just remembered.

Sam and you watched the sun settling cuddling together, it was a huge step for you, but as the date went you got more comfortable with him but mostly, you felt safe.

"Baby" he called with that pet name you loved, you backed up a little and watched him, “I know this is your dream date, but I want you to know that by no means do I want you to feel pushed or pressured to do anything. I just want to see your smile most often"

Without thinking you threw your arms around his neck and hugged him, pouring all your love and trust into it. You've never felt so safe in the arms of someone. 

At that moment, you understood that all the small and sweet gestures he had towards you were because he wanted to prove to you that he was different, that not all men were the same, and that he was not Ashton. And, even though you didn't want to admit it, that was something you liked about him, he never pushed you to do anything, everything you did with him, was at your own pace, even if that meant waiting for weeks for you to be comfortable with him while being alone.

Sam was very understanding of the whole situation, and that proved to you that he was an incredible man, finally understanding that what happened to you was just an unfortunate event with someone who didn’t deserve you.

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[non-binaryzombie]

𝔏𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔰𝔦𝔠𝔨

Summary: Jake is a little bit obsessed with you, he needs to know more about you, going beyond what you show on the internet, but his biggest problem now is making you understand that he owns you, and that no one is taking you away from him.

Characters: Jake x reader (a little bit of Darkness too cuz, you know that I love him)

Warnings: Yandere Jake, stalking, possessiveness, lovesick, obsession, not exactly a happy ending, angst, language, use of straw (sorry turtles)

Word count: 2672

A/N: Here it is! I hope you don't hate me for it, I changed the name to fit more with the story, but the context is the same :)

(Most of my pics/gifs come from Pinterest, if I use a photo that belongs to you and you don't like it, please contact me and we'll take care of it)

Fascinating, that's the word Jake would use to describe you if he had to, he could spend hours trying to decipher you, trying to understand how are you able to like him without even seeing his face, without even knowing who he really was? You just know what he allows you to, but you've never been nosy, if you ask something to him and he says that he can't tell you, you just put it aside, not wanting to bother; and that's one of the things he most admires in you, the fact that you're so curious and yet, when he doesn't want to tell you something, you just try to let it go, making a mental note about the things you shouldn't ask, at least not over the phone.

Ever since you helped Jake to find Hannah, he've been more and more interested in you, how did you manage to help him to find his half-sister, and at the same time made him fall in love with you? Something he never thought would happen, suddenly from a time to another, he saw himself in love with someone who he thought be just someone that would help him to find his sister, just a means to an end.

But now, here he is, watching you from the window of the café you're in, he knows that he shouldn't, what would you think if you found out that he've been following you? He is pretty sure that 'happiness' would not be the right feeling, but he had no choice, he wanted- no, he needed to know more about you, and this time the internet wouldn't help him, for some reason you're really reserved, unlikely the most people at your age, you have social medias, of course but you rarely post something about yourself at them, the most interesting thing that the hacker could find about you was your school records and not surprisingly your track record is perfect, you never got bad grades, you never got into trouble, you are simply flawless. It makes him question, it's impossible for someone to be so perfect, you're sweet, kind, innocent and you always want the best for everyone no matter how bad someone has done you; you always forgive them. But you have flaws, everyone has, and that's what he's trying to find out, what are you hiding from everyone? And how are you so good at hiding it?

His blue eyes getting darker when he sees you hugging a man, who is he? And why do you look so happy to see him? You two talk a little before sitting down in one of the tables close to the window, the waitress soon come and both of you place your orders. The black-hair boy on the outside quickly grab his phone, sending you a message, just a 'Hi Y/N :)' waiting to see if you're going to answer him, he sees you pick up the phone and look at it for a few seconds before putting it back in your your pocket, did you just ignore his message? Okay, now he has no other choice then go inside.

And there he goes, entering the place and thankfully he could seat somewhere that you couldn't see you, but he could listen to everything, pretending to be doing something important on the phone. He orders a black coffee, nothing more. Soon you and the tall man started to talk while he paid attention to every single word.

"I am glad that we were able to meet, Y/N" he says with a grin on his face

"Wow, you really talk like this even in person, I thought that it was just you way to text" a giggle escaped your lips

"What do you mean?" he tilted his head

"You just, talk like you are in a really important dinner with the queen" you say resting your cheek against your hand while looking at him

"I think I never stopped to notice the way I speak, is this a nuisance for you?" he asked and you quickly shacked your hands

"Oh, no! That's not what I meant, I happen to like it, actually" he looked relieved

"You are really observant aren't you?" you smiled

"You'd be surprised how many times I've heard this" the girl came back with your orders and you thanked her with a gentle smile

"So, I haven't seen you in the forum lately" he took a sip of his latte

"Of course you've noticed" you giggle playing with your milkshake straw "I should have predicted" he let out a light laugh through his nose

"Is there a especial reason for that?"

"Well if I am being honest, lately I have been too tired to even scroll through the forum" you looked down playing with your fingers on the table

"It’s okay, you don't have to talk if you don't want to" he said putting his hand next to yours

"No, it’s just-" a sight left your mouth "Do you ever feel that everything around you is slowly becoming tiresome? How if the slightest effort to follow your routine makes you tired?" he nodded, you are not sure if he really understands you, or if he is just trying to make you feel better, but you continue "But for a few seconds, something makes you step out of your comfort zone, makes you hope again, but then it ends and everything becomes monotonous and boring again" you didn't even realized that your fingers are now entwined with his, you feel your face turn red and quickly let go of his hand "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you" the hand that was holding his is now between your legs pressed against the soft upholstery of the seat you are on, and the other on the straw of your milkshake bringing it to your mouth.

"You don't have to apologize, Y/N, it’s okay you know that you can trust me" he said straightening his posture

"Yeah, I know, Dark, and I thank you for that, but I don't really want to bother you with this, we're here to have a good time" you smiled, and he nodded

"Let's chance the topic then. How about the guy you told me about? Are you two a couple?" you felt your face turn red again

"Jake? Well, not exactly, it's complicated" 'Not exactly? Of course, we are a couple' the hacker thought with himself

"Complicated?" Darkness asked encouraged you to continue

"Hum, none of us really made a official dating request, y'know?" Jake never thought about it that way, he really has to put a ring in your finger for you to know that you are his?

"But you like him, don't you?" he looked straight into your eyes, like he was trying to guess what was happening in your head

"Yeah, we haven't said 'I love you' yet, but, I really like him, and I think that he likes me too, it's just..." you paused lettings out a sigh "He is not really good at showing how he feels, he is not good at talking at all" you giggle

"Then why don't you take the first step?" he asked confused

"I'm afraid of being rejected." the man sitting in front of you looked surprised, so did the one sitting behind you

"Why would he reject you? You are amazing, anyone would be lucky to have you." a shy smile appears on your lips

"I just, don't think he has time for a relationship, he's constantly busy and moving, because of work" you completed

"Well, this is really a misfortune, but you know I'll always be here for you, don't you?" he said picking your hand

"Yes, I know, and I can say the same to you" he gave you a smirk "Why are your hands so big?" he laughed

"You really know how to change the subject very quickly don't you?" you smiled at him.

The man sitting in the table behind you got up putting the money on the table and got out of the café as fast as he entered, what made him bump into someone that he quickly ignored making his way back to the motel he was staying at, he was angry, how dare this random guy even touch you? Say that he's going to be there for you, you don't need anyone else, you have him, you may don't know it, but you are his, he always makes time to talk to you, and now you say that it’s not enough? You even dare to consider that he's going to reject you? What more he needs to do for you to be sure that he wants a relationship with you? When he finally arrived at his room, he slammed the door shut, sitting in front of the computer, trying to calm down, breathing heavy. He knows exactly what he must do for you to know that you belong to him.

You threw yourself on the bed, with a smile on your face, the day with Darkness was better than you expected, he is not all serious personally, or you just have the ability of making him less keyed up, your phone buzzed on your pocket and you grab it quickly not so surprising it was Jessy 'Hey, how was your little date?' you giggled after answering her 'Not a date Jessy, but it was really good to be honest' Jessy was incredibly supportive when you said you were going to meet your forum-friend 'I'll want to hear everything about it tomorrow' ' Don't worry, I'll tell you everything'. Soon you remembered that Jake texted you early and dialed his number wondering whether or not to call him, you bite your bottom lip before working up your courage, clicking the green button and bringing the cell phone to your ear, settling down on the bed, you start to wonder if this is a good idea right away thinking about just hanging up and pretending it was an accident, but as soon as the call is answered you feel your body tense up.

"Hum, hi" you say shyly "Sorry I haven't texted you earlier, I was kinda busy"

"It's okay" his deep voice make your whole-body shiver "How are you?" he asked

"I'm good, how about you?" why do you feel so awkward?

"Good" he says and keeps silent 'god, why is it so hard?' you thought while trying to think something to say

"I-" you are interrupted by his voice

"What were you doing?" he asked, and you frowned your eyebrows

"What?"

"You said you were busy, what with?" you blinked a few time before answering him

"I went out with a friend" you said and heard a 'hum' coming from him on the other side of the phone "Are you mad?" you asked apprehensively

"Why would I be?" his voice makes you feel butterflies in your stomach

"I don't know, we haven't talked the whole day, and you seem, rough" he sighed

"It wasn't my intention, I’m sorry"

"Don't worry" you heard someone knock at the door

“Oh, wait a minute there’s someone at the door” you said getting up, and walking towards the noise opening it, just to see a black hair boy standing there, with his phone on his ear

"okay" he said before giving you a little smile, your eyes widened and you felt your body freeze

"Jake?" you ask and he nods, that's all that he needs to do to see you quickly hug him tight, he looked a little surprised but then he just wrap his arms around you, feeling the good smell of your hair, you two stayed there for a while hugging in the doorway.

When you finally looked up at him your eyes were full of teas, happiness tears, but that didn't stop Jake of push the tears away

"What are you doing here? I thought you were with Lilly" you said pulling him inside and closing the door

"I've come to see you" he said looking at you

"You could have warned me, you know, I would have at least organized this a little bit" you say scratching the back of your neck shyly

"Then it wouldn't be a surprise" he says putting his backpack on the sofa "And it's not that messy at all" you two sat on the bed, your face is so red it looks like you're going to explode

"I have something for you" he says taking a little box of his pocket, opening it and revealing two rings your eyes widen and you quickly look up at him

"Are you serious?" you ask and he nods

"So, what do you say?" he smiles

"Jake, I-I don't know..." his smile disappeared and he looked at you confused

"What?" that's what you wanted a ring, an official request, wasn't it? Then why are you rejecting him?

"It's just- I like you, I really do!" you say as you see his reaction

"Then why don't you want to be with me?" he looks sad

"That's not what I said, I mean, you're wanted Jake, by FBI and by another hackers, I know that there's a lot of things that you don't tell me, I know that you're just trying to protect me but, I can't keep in the dark just trusting that you are doing the right thing" no, he's not sad, he's angry, he closed the box tightly, making you flinch

"Okay, look I don't need a fucking ring to prove that we are together, I just bought it because that's what you wanted, you are mine, and I don't care who the fuck is coming after me, I won't let anyone be on our way, you don't have to worry about it" you blinked a few times trying to process what he just said, he sighed putting his hand on your cheek "I love you, Y/N" he smiled again

"I'm not a pet, Jake, you don't own me" you took his hand off

"I think you should leave now" you said looking away

"I won't leave you" he said firmly

"Are you even listening to yourself?!" you said getting up "This is not love, Jake" he got up standing in front of you, the difference between your highs makes you feel intimidated

"I am lovesick, Y/N, can you blame me?" he says getting closer making you step back "I can't stop thinking about you everything that you say or do makes me love you more, I want you, I need you, why can't you understand that?" you now see yourself trapped between him and the wall behind you

"You're not lovesick, you're just sick, you are fucking obsessed! I would never be with someone who acts the way you're acting right now" instant regret

"If I can't have you, no one can, and I'll make sure of that, my love" he muttered taking his cell phone out of his pocket and showing it to you, your eyes widened

"What the fuck is wrong with you?! Let him go!" Darkness was tied to a chair with a cloth over his mouth, he didn't look hurt

"I'll let him go, when you accept to stay with me, otherwise, I'll kill him." you can feel the tears wetting your face

"You sick motherfucker" he pretended to be hurt

"You better choose your words better Y/N, I can kill him in just a snap" you looked at the picture again

"Fine, just let him go" he grinned as he put his cell phone away, he took the rings again and offered them to you, you looked at him before picking the ring and put it on your finger, he did the same

"You won't regret it, my love" he says pulling you closer and kissing you 'I already did' you thought with yourself.

[cobaincreates]

as it is

warnings: saddy sad sad, secretly hope i hurt you with this

count: 3k+

pinterest for the pic let me know what ya thinkin

i made a playlist for this!

— — —

every part of you despised the country club. you hated the food, you hated the people, you hated the money. you refused to partake in anything the members organized. like hell you’d show up for cocktails and meaningless conversations with people you didn’t care to know. you hated the snobs, the businessmen with sticks up their asses, the housewives with no names other than their husbands’. and you most certainly hated, loathed, despised midsummers. the one time you had actually enjoyed yourself was with someone who seemed so far away now.

your father was practically forcing you to go tonight just so he’d have a date. you knew how much it meant to him, to show up in support of his recent divorce from your step-mother, a woman who was a nightmare walking. after moaning and groaning about not wanting to go the night prior, you finally realized that you had to for him. your dad was your best friend and someone you always leaned on and went to for anything. growing up without a mom, or that motherly figure, was difficult in its own but your father had done a great job. you came home every night, ate dinner with him, had conversations that either had you crying of laughter or even more love for him. he really was your best friend.

the past few months had been hard. not even because of your dad, you felt for him, but you had your own dramas to deal with. on top of being a full-time student off the island and working part-time in a small boutique, you had been fighting an internal battle. it came along with a heavy dark cloud and one that constantly followed you around. now, being back home for the summer, it felt even heavier and seemed even darker than before.

your dad’s breakup had gone fairly smooth, and without a lawsuit thankfully. yours on the other hand felt as though it were still happening. each day you could feel your heart breaking more and more, like the dying organ was spreading rot throughout your body, making your limbs numb and cold. sometimes you had to close your eyes to find the faint beating.

you knew something was going on between you and rafe only a few weeks prior to the initial decision. your gut was telling you something was wrong whenever you spoke with him, either on the phone or in person. his college was close to yours, but still so far. you knew he had a life without you in it and you fully understood that and respected it. but one day it felt as though he had put you way farther down on his list of priorities than he ever had before and it didn’t sit right. you tried to ignore the growing mass in your gut the more you saw him, noticing small things like his eyes flicking away or how his hand felt limp in yours. usually he held it so tight like he was afraid to let go. but then it turned into you not wanting to let go. you still didn’t want to.

you still didn’t understand why he did it or what you had done wrong. he never said that he wasn’t in love with you anymore. the only thing close to an answer you got was that he’d still be your friend. you would’ve understood completely if he had said that he wasn’t sure what he was feeling, you would’ve totally let him figure it out himself– given him some time to think.

before you started to date rafe, he had a habit of keeping himself closed off. you understood it the best you could with being a young adult and navigating your mind. it took a while for you to finally get his trust, to get a good look at the inside of his brain. now it felt as if you were back at square one, like you were trying to knock down the hard exterior all over again.

as you got ready for the night you couldn’t help reminiscing on last year’s midsummers. rafe had worn a new tux and slicked back his hair, his face adorned with a gleeful smile. you didn’t let him get too into his head at the small conversations with his father nor did you let him lose himself in the free booze. you made sure to hold him up as best you could and to sway him from anything that might trigger his inner demons. it was a beautiful night and you remembered how he looked at you, so adoringly like he was the luckiest guy in the world, when it had been you all along with the luck.

you looked between a golden necklace, a thin chain with the northern star attached, and a silver one your father had gifted you for a birthday one year. running your thumb over the golden star, you couldn’t help leaning toward wearing it.

“what’s this?” turning around, you held the white box in the palm of your hand. your curious eyes met rafe’s as he looked up at you from a book he was reading. his arm slowly moved from behind his head as he sat up.

“i wasn’t supposed to be around when you found that.” he said, closing the book, and smiling sheepishly.

you blushed and broke out into a grin as you moved to sit by him with the box. “you weren’t going to propose in person?”

“i’m not proposing,” he rolled his eyes.

you hummed with a teasing grin and pulled the top off the box. rafe moved his legs over the side of his bed, brushing against you. he clasped his hands together between his knees as he watched you open the second box. your shoulders relaxed as a breath came out of your mouth, seeing a golden necklace perfectly placed, shimmering.

“rafe, it’s so pretty.”

he smiled at your reaction. reaching over, he maneuvered the necklace out of the box and unclasped it. you discarded the box in your lap and moved your hair out of the way as rafe brought it around your neck, letting it rest delicately. his hand rubbed down your back once it was secure, pressing a soft kiss into the hollow between your shoulder and neck. you looked up into his handsome face, breathing in the air and filling up with all of the love for him.

you clasped the silver necklace and moved from the mirror without looking over yourself. your father was waiting for you by the door, he had been ready to go for ten minutes, but he didn’t bother shouting up the stairs to get you to hurry up. you thanked him silently for your coat and walked out the door.

it sort of made you queasy to know that some of your father’s money was contributing to the event. the awning covered in vines and vines of ivy made you grimace. you quickly dropped it as your dad put a hand on your upper back, posing next to you with a bright smile. you couldn’t help but wonder if he’d meet a new wife tonight. maybe he’d finally give ms. conelly the time of day after years of her pining over him. it was so disgustingly obvious when she came over, offering his favorite dessert of lemon bars as some sort of flirtation device. it worked since she was invited into the house every time and you spent at least an hour and a half rolling your eyes in your room at their laughter floating up the stairs. you used to imagine your stepmother diving across the kitchen island and yanking ms. conelly’s extensions out. there was also a fight when the overly friendly neighbor left.

it wasn’t long before you were stationed at the hor d'oeuvres table, watching your father laugh with some of his friends. they each wore the same boring suit, just in difference colors or slightly different styles. you held in a yawn. you wondered if you looked ridiculous in your dress. subconsciously, you looked down to assess if anything was out of place or if the fabric was too ruffled somewhere. you tugged at it a little then your hand fell easily to the necklace. you turned the pendant over and over between your fingers, watching as a waiter carried a tray toward a group of blonde, identical housewives. you analyzed their diamond necklaces with their matching diamond rings and diamond bracelets. did they ever get tired of it?

you felt a pinprick at the back of your neck once you saw him. the whir of chatter and clinking glasses muffled as you watched him come through the doors onto the porch. the pinprick sent a ripple of tremors up your neck, to the back of your skull. your hands fell to the table behind you, leaning against it to remind you that you were here. you were solid matter.

this year he wore a light gray suit. you liked it much better than the god-awful baby blue one. you kept it to yourself how much you despised it. he looked very handsome and it made you want to tear your heart from your chest and plant it at his feet.

he molded quietly into a group where his father was, joined by his sisters and stepmother. you let out a breath the best you could and yearned for him to look at you. he was facing in your direction but preoccupied with a family friend. all it would take was for him to just lift his eyes, to see you there in your dress, one he hadn’t seen ever. you wondered if you looked as good as he did. would he think so? would it change his mind?

this was ridiculous, you were just going to go over there. you had known his family for years, they loved you, they loved your dad. would your father bring you over with him when he greeted them? he was too busy now talking to a former client, holding a shiny glass of scotch. you didn’t want to wait for him to stop his conversation. it wouldn’t hurt to just go over to rafe and his family.

you stepped forward but your movements faltered pathetically. you stepped back to the table and turned around, staring down at a plate of speared shrimp with tiny parsley leaves over them like blankets. other people moved around you, probably giving you odd looks for blocking the way to the food. your eyes blurred, the waterworks coming fast. you pushed from the table, slightly jostling it, and walked quickly to the restroom.

once inside the safety of the empty bathroom, you curled into a ball with your forehead on your knees. you didn’t care about the dress or if you would crease it. all you could think about was rafe and how he wouldn’t even look at you.

your sniffles stopped once you heard the door open. you sat up and breathed, wiping your eyes and hoping you didn’t look as bad as you felt.

sarah was standing outside of the stall when you unlatched it. your shoulders dropped and you welcomed her tight embrace, wondering when the last time you hugged her was. she pulled you to sit down on the puffy ottoman in the middle of the restroom.

“crying over crab cakes, huh?” sarah nudged your side. you laughed at the inside joke as you stared down at your lap. “you look great. i love your dress.”

“i’m sure i do.” you snorted and reached up to wipe under your eyes. you brushed off the mascara flecks from your fingertips. “happy midsummer’s.”

sarah smiled sympathetically and you couldn’t help your eyes watering again at her face. “i’m sorry,” she said, grabbing ahold of your hand in your lap.

“it’s fine.” you waved her off, knowing she meant about the person she shared the same blood with. “i guess i just wasn’t ready to see him yet. is that stupid?”

“no.” sarah shook her head as she looked intently at you.

“does he even miss me?” you asked. “he won’t even look at me. he probably doesn’t care that i’m here right now.”

sarah reached up to brush a piece of hair behind your ear. she had always felt like a sister to you and you hoped she didn’t feel any differently now that you weren’t dating her brother.

“he said he wanted to be friends. he hasn’t even talked to me since we broke up.” you weren’t sure if sarah was just keeping quiet to let you talk or because she knew the answers to your questions. “i can’t stop thinking about him. god, it would be easier to be angry at him. i wish he came with someone else.”

“i’m sorry you broke up.” she said. you sniffed and gave her a sad smile.

sighing deeply, you sat up straight a second later. you partially felt better for getting a few things out to someone. you hadn’t really talked that much about the break up to anyone. your father was already dealing with enough and your friends were back in their own homes, miles and miles away. you felt like you sounded pathetic over the phone so you didn’t even bother.

sarah excused herself to use the bathroom and you waited for her. you washed your hands and wiped at your eyes, cleaning up the mascara that ran a little. nothing too major to give away that you had been crying. once sarah was out and had clean hands, she put her arm through yours and walked with you through the club then back outside.

sarah groaned once you got to the porch. “i have to go drag wheezie from the table. she’s always on her phone and if i don’t do it, my dad will be pissed. i’ll see you around?”

you smiled genuinely at her minuscule drama and nodded. she gave your arm a squeeze before bounding down the steps, her dress flowing behind her. you watched as she nudged wheezie, who ignored her, then as sarah snatched the phone from her sister’s hands and tossed it onto the table. wheezie quickly turned to her older sister and started to shout until she remembered where she was. you knew that the cameron sisters knew that if they caused a scene, all hell would break lose with ward, their father. he was all about his family’s image.

you stepped over to the railing, leaning against one of the pillars with your arms across your chest. looking over the crowding dance area, you saw your father dancing with ms. conelly. you had to stop the bile from reaching your throat. maybe she was nicer than your stepmother—ex stepmother.

you found rafe with a group of his friends closer to the tables. it was nauseating that they all had at least one hand in their pocket each. they could’ve been a boy band for crying out loud. rafe was laughing and you couldn’t hear him over the mass amount of chatter, but you knew which laugh it was. he was enjoying himself. at least he was happy. beside him, topper was sipping from a green beer bottle. a humorous hum erupted from your chest, a smile pulling at the corner of your lips.

you couldn’t stop giggling. it bubbled from your chest like champagne and disappeared into the fast moving air around you as you jogged onto the porch. you held an arm over your chest, stopping your boobs from bouncing too much, while your hand was clasped tightly in rafe’s. he stopped along the railing, propping himself against the pillar to breathe. you peered over at topper who was trying to contain his coughing fit.

rafe laughed, squinting his eyes shut. you two had escaped just in time from the boy who was trying so hard to flirt with cassie o’brien. from the sound of it, it wasn’t going well at all so you took it upon yourself to help topper out. you whispered to rafe for his hidden flask and snuck a bit into topper’s drink that he was holding. it was difficult at first since he talked a lot with his hands, but eventually you poured some of the liquor in and hid it as you went back over to rafe. it didn’t take long for topper to know what happened, his eyes finding you and your boyfriend before you ran like school children.

“he’s going to give us so much shit.” you said, shaking your head with a grin.

rafe settled, wiping the corner of his eyes. he pulled the flask from his pocket and held it up in cheers to topper, who was still shooting daggers your way. rafe took a swig then passed it to you. you took a sip, grimacing and shivering as the liquor passed into your system.

“i don’t even know how much i put in his drink.” you said as you handed the flask back. rafe laughed again, leaning toward you to put his head on your shoulder. his arms went around you, pulling you flush against him in a hug.

“god, i love you.” he said, bright eyes as he looked down at you.

you smiled before he kissed you sweetly, holding your face against his for a moment.

you hadn’t realized you’d caught topper’s attention until he disappeared from your sight. you reached for the railing with shaky hands, willing them to stop trembling.

“you look pathetic over here.” topper said from behind you. you looked over your shoulder as he walked over.

“thanks so much, topper.” you said in a feigned enthusiastic tone. he sighed deeply and glanced in the direction of where he previously was, where rafe still was. you didn’t bother looking over there. you found the chipped paint much more interesting than your ex.

“you don’t have to be over here.” you said. the last thing you wanted was rafe’s best friend pitying you. did rafe ask him to come over?

topper turned in your peripheral, leaning his hip against the railing, his hands on his pockets. “you’re my friend too.” he said. you picked off a piece of paint. it crumbled easily under your nail. “you’re not answering my texts.”

now you looked up at him. maybe he’d see why you hadn’t answered. he’d have to be an idiot not to know. topper was smart though and you knew that. he gave you a sympathetic look, much like sarah.

“why don’t you find a rebound or something?” topper suggested, hoping to lighten the mood. “there’s a whole lot of fresh meat here.”

you didn’t want fresh meat. you wanted old meat. you wanted the meat you had for the last two years. it was familiar. it was safe. you knew the taste. you knew what to expect when you took a bite.

“i wouldn’t do that to him.” you shook your head softly.

topper’s mouth twitched into a partial smile. his hand appeared on your shoulder before he pulled you into a hug. you hadn’t hugged topper that many times throughout your life. but this was nice. you wrapped your hands around his back, planting them flat on his shoulder blades. resting your head against his chest, you closed your eyes for a moment and just let it be.

“will you dance with me?” he asked after a long moment. you remembered where you were then, hearing the clinking glasses and loud voices.

you pulled away to look toward the party again. you spotted your father across the dance floor, no longer dancing with a pining middle aged woman. he caught your eye, a slightly raise of his eyebrows in question.

“maybe later, top.” you said and slid your arms away from him. you sent him a thankful smile as you went down the stairs to your dad.

“hey, kiddo.” your soft-spoken father said, reaching a hand toward you. you took it and let him pull you onto the dance floor for a slower song. “what’s going on?”

you looked up at his aged eyes from his plaid tie and smiled weakly. “it’s nothing, dad.”

“what’s wrong?” he prodded as your feet moved together. your father was always one to get you to talk things out, to let your feelings out. he always reminded you to just feel them, to let them come and go.

your eyes pricked with more tears and you quickly lay your head on his chest. he brushed your hair on the back of your head as you squeezed your eyes shut and begged the tears to go away. you needed to stop crying.

“i want to break up.”

“it’s okay to miss him.” you father said only for you to hear. you didn’t want to open your eyes because you knew that if you did, you’d see everyone else around you. keeping them closed and focusing on his voice kept you safe.

“i just don’t want this anymore.”

“it’s part of healing to miss him.” he continued. you tightened your arms around his shoulders, clasping your hands together.

“i still want to be friends.”

“do you miss her?” you asked, your voice cracking slightly.

“sometimes.” he answered. “but we were different than you and rafe.” he hadn’t said his name since you told him the day you got home. you felt a tear slip down your cheek. “listen, i can’t tell you how long it’s going to take, but there’s going to be a day where you won’t feel sad about it anymore. i promise you won’t feel like this forever.” he pressed a kiss to your hair. “just keep doing what you’re doing, focus on school, focus on your friends, have fun, go out and meet someone new for the night.”

if you hadn’t been crying or in your feelings you would’ve rolled your eyes and felt a little uncomfortable at your dad encouraging you to have a one-night stand. but it felt good to hear the affirmations.

“it’s okay.” he said. “it’s going to be okay.”

[nahimjustfeelingit-writes]

Hey!! I hope everything is okay~ ♥️ I wanted to ask you for some writing tips. And more specifically tips how to maintain motivation to write if you’re okay with giving those.

Hello! I’m doing good just tired and stressed lately 😭

I can definitely give you some tips!

To maintain motivation you have to honestly relax your mind. For me, when I first started writing I had so many ideas that I wanted to put out and I updated often and it got to a point where I burned myself out. It’s important to take time away because you don’t want to stress over when you should update a story or staying up late to finish something.

I would also say to keep motivation always look for inspiration in pictures, music, movies, or other stories. I’m always scrolling tumblr or Pinterest and saving inspiration pics to my phone. I also read a lot more so I find inspiration in that. Another thing to do is if you have sudden inspiration to write and you can’t quite do it at the moment, write whatever you’re thinking down in outline form to remember it. I have a lot of drafts with outlines for future or current fics.

Don’t be discouraged by how many notes you receive on a fic. Write for your enjoyment not for notes because that can take the joy out of writing. I would also say that putting yourself out there helps. Make sure your ask box is open for requests, thank readers for feedback, engaging with other writers helps a lot too. Please don’t force your writing! If it’s not there at the moment, come back to it. I’ve been doing that a lot lately and when I write other things it helps with my writers block!

As far as more writing tips, always use the keep reading option. No one wants to continuously scroll if it’s a long story. I have some stories currently that are old that I need to add that to . Make a nice mood board or cover photo for your fics! Catching the readers eye is important! You can find inspiration on tumblr if you follow a lot of aesthetic blogs. Always outline your stories! It’s good to write somewhere like Google docs and then transfer to tumblr because I’ve made the mistake of writing only on tumblr and the app closed and I lost my work 😫

Find writing resources online and on tumblr specifically to help with words and descriptions etc. make a taglist and always ask before you tag because some people don’t like being tagged in things without permission. Use hashtags!!! This helps when someone is trying to search for a particular story! write for yourself first. I know readers send in requests and all but if you don’t write what you enjoy as well where is the fun in that? Lastly, make sure you take the necessary time to edit your work before posting. Sometimes I miss grammar errors and I have to go back after updating.

So far that’s all I have! If you have more questions feel free to ask ❤️

[phoebehalliwell]

I need some kind of a photoshop lesson for this aesthetic of yours

okay i’m gonna do a tutorial real time for a picspam type aesthetic that will look like this ⇣ a photo i will put here once i make it.

step one. open ps : )

welcome : )

okay so dimensions r a thing tumblr compresses photos like hella so i do all my still img aesthetics 900x900 is you’re trying to do this for say insta i would actually recommend jumping up to 1080x1080. pixels, obviously. idk if i have to clarify that.

so click ctrl+n or create new i’ll be doing 900x900

these r the rest of my settings i personally do not think they matter my resolution stays at 72 the only thing i’ve detected this affecting is font size. (side note notice how this pic looks all fuzzy? that’s bc it’s a ss with a boatload of pixels. and if there’s one thing tumblr hates. it’s pixels. and then it’s users. but who’s counting? tumblr is. i recommend keeping ur still images 900x900♥)

step two is collecting ur images i personally use pinterest for these bc quite frankly it’s really nice & easy to find these types of photos esp if you’re looking for a canon character bc if you type in [character name] aesthetic you’ll get stuff if you don’t quite frankly even just type in aesthetic you can scroll until you find an image you like click on that and go through like images underneath it and keep burning thru. like u probably know how to work pinterest. but i am being thorough and covering my bases. searching [color] aesthetic is also nice or even searching a character that isn’t the character you’re doing this for but who’s kind of similar that also works. i recommend esp for charmed bc their pinterest gets bogged down with screencaps and then like. charms like jewelry searching “charmed aesthetic” or “phoebe halliwell aesthetic” really just doesn’t cut it so what i’d recommend is instead of going through pins, go through boards.

bc like. big difference. other pro tips if you see a board you like, go to the person’s profile and check out their other boards bc odds are you’ll find more you like. another protip if you’re specifically doing ocs typing in oc aesthetic will get you a lot even going to the boards on that as well. yields.

so. you’ve gathered ur images. u need five. open em. i’m making an aesthetic 4 myself which you’ve probably already guessed from the fact i’m putting the finished piece at the top, but it’s not ready yet so it’s still a surprise for me. 

cropping. if ur doing a 900x900, use these setting exactly. 1080x1080 use 1080/2 x 1080/3. i’m not doing the math 4 u ♥

most important part? Delete Cropped Pixels. otherwise ur not really doing anything. crop all five images.

but them in ur document. document? psd? ur thing ♥ place them places. u do not have to commit now. leave one middle one blank. it does not matter which one. i personally like to alternate my text pieces if i’m doing a long post like what i did on my ncwotng set. some people keep them all on the same side. this lowkey bugs me i feel like it throws off the Balance but i imagine some people like The Consistency. i don’t. but w/e. it’s up to u as this is gonna be ur set. also like. as you’ve cropped these to x/2,x/3 settings they should fit nice like puzzle pieces : )

the next step i personally like doing is creating by text box with The Color™ do this bc simply duplicating one of ur images, shoving it in the empty slot, and converting into a sharp object. edit contents.

now. obvi i selected these images w a color scheme in mid. i recommend u do the same. even if it’s just vague. they don’t all have 2 fit. this is my example of my sheridan piece b4 or after. tweaking is possible. layers w masks r ur friend. i can talk about them more if need be.

But. back 2 the smart object. brush tool. paint it.

♥

the text i used was times new roman all caps 40pt font 0 spacing for the title and times new roman 14pt font 0 spacing italics for the subheading. here’s my dency b4 and after for comparison

next step is after you have your text in alright, shove everything into groups. mode on “normal”

then you can start editing. the groups let you edit things like lighting and color without touching any of the layers below it 👍

i’m not gonna do a Major coloring tutorial, for lighting i’ll usually tinker with exposure, levels, sometimes brightness/contrast. for colors, color balance + hue/saturation. i rarely touch anything else.

i’ll bring u along 4 the coloring of this one bc i’m gonna add a layer mask.

so the first thing i’m going to do bc the paper itself is already close to the vibe is i’m going to color it normal and just ignore the background

something like that. then i’m going to add a layer mask (square button w the plus sign)

and then i’m going to eye dropper a color off from somewhere else

now i was talking about the “normal” blend mode stops ur color settings from bleeding over onto other images? does not apply to painting on layers but you’re already masking this bad boy, so it doesn’t matter. just don’t say i didn’t warn u

i’d recommend using a really ridiculous blend mode to clean up ur thing at first, i’m using darken which isn’t that wild but like whatevs.

add a layer mask using this button.

select and mask

use this thing to clean up ur mask

okay so i did a lot since we last spoke

but if i impart any lesson to u. it’s: fuck around. find out. that’s literally how i’ve basically done everything. nothing’s ever really gone horribly wrong. click things. see what happens.

okay so now that you’ve kinda gotten everything figured out. change ur text box color again. i’m introducing u to ye ol trick that is not the paint brush. but. hue/saturation on colorize more yeah babyyyyy

ahaha yes. love this bad boy.

Now. Trick To Make Everything Super Cohesive™. put things above All of your groups.

yeah boy.

reorganize ur thing bc u don’t like how it looks.

fuck around w a lot of stuff.

it’s still cluttered.

fuck it. grab a new image.

something like that. never let the fear of striking out keep u from playing the game : )

fuck around a bit more.

vibes♥

save ur image bc u literally Have Not Done That Yet

& then remember the other thing u forgot to do

eyedropper what ur text box looks like move the whole thing to the tippity top and recolor

this is just bc u’ve fuck around a lot w a lot f different settings. this ensures that the text stays the same color u set it as.

okay final step.

turn The Whole Thing into a smart object, smart sharpen

leave out the text box tho. the sharpened text can look weird. it’s ur choice, but with these settings,, cronch.

and wallah. ctrl+shift+s save as png and bada bing bada boom baby. aesthetic