#ipk analysis

[honeybellexox]

Khushi’s Heart Awakening 💖

A very underrated but pivotal scene in IPK would be the mandir scene in episode 81. In which Khushi witnesses ASR treat a little girl with great kindness and empathy, buying all the pigeons for her to make a wish for her parents.

I would argue this scene is pivotal in Khushi’s love for Arnav, I would even go as far as to suggest THIS is her heart awakening moment. At this point Khushi is attracted to Arnav physically, intrigued by him and impassioned, even (anger, irritation, competitiveness , curiousity etc) ; yet this is when the seed is planted in her heart for him and the emotional attachment starts to form, It’s so subtle and brilliant.

Also, how wonderful is the symbolism in this scene, the little girl is essentially a representation of Khushi’s inner child; Khushi who has experienced a similar trauma with her own parents, it must have been so healing for her to have witnessed Arnav treat the little girl with so much compassion!

Honey!💖

[myloveforstuff]

IPKKND Color Analysis: Arnav's outfits [Payash Wedding Track]

If you'd like to read my analysis of Khushi's outfits during this track, click here!

Note: Since the colors Khushi's wears are vivid and varied, they explicitly reflect her state of being and the emotional graph of their relationship. On the other hand, the colors that Arnav wears are often limited and minimal, and so the symbolism of his color palette is multi-dimensional and each individual color serves several purposes. Every color he wears takes a different meaning depending on his emotional state and the context of the situation, as I will attempt to analyze here. These are just my personal observations based on research - I'd love to know what you think!

---

The Sangeet Ceremony

Showing up on stage to dance with her, Khushi's knight in shining armor is dressed in all black - a black shirt with his sleeves rolled up, paired with a black waistcoat and black pants.

"As a color of mystique, black conjures elegance, sophistication, and sexual prowess."

He is walking (or should I say dancing) seduction to Khushi, and he knows it. He confidently touches her, displays his haq over her, intimately moves in sync with her because he is aware that she feels for him what he does for her. There is love, but in this moment it is overpowered by the undeniable attraction between them. This is evident not just by the dance that they share, but also by her dhak dhaks and his flirtatious remarks and actions post the performance, both of which fluster Khushi while adding fuel to the burning lust she feels for this man she has fallen for.

Arnav keeps the collar of his black shirt open: while a closed collar may convey formality and reserve, an open collar and exposure of the neck is perceived as being relaxed and vulnerable. It may also indicate flirtation or seduction, as the neck is seen as a sensitive and erogenous part of the body. Arnav has no guards up here; there is no pretense. He bares his emotional and physical feelings for her, urging her to do the same.

Adding to that, he's got his sleeves rolled up. "Women usually perceive this body language as masculine and sexy since it puts the forearms on display." I mean, need I say more? ;)

Dressed in all black, Arnav mystifies, seduces, hypnotizes and possesses his lady love.

---

The Mehendi Ceremony

On the day of the Mehendi, Arnav wears a white shirt with an open collar and rolled up sleeves, paired with a black waistcoat and black pants.

While black oozes seduction and confidence, white symbolizes new beginnings, just as a blank canvas. Nothing is the same after the dance they have shared the night before. This is new territory: the misunderstandings of the past are forgiven, stolen glances are replaced with lingering gazes, and there is hope, of a new beginning. Once again, his collar is open to expose much of his chest, representing his vulnerability and lack of reserve.

"Black traps space, while white opens space. Black evokes sophistication; white communicates innocence. It’s clear: black and white are opposites."

The black waistcoat paired with the white shirt functions as a beautiful dichotomy. As opposites, sensuous black and innocent white work well together to mirror the dynamic swirl of emotions Arnav is feeling for Khushi. He is flirtatious, but it is laced with purity. He pulls her closer by her dupatta and plants a searing kiss on her cheek, but he is also touched when she is anxious about his absence, and pleased when he sees his initials on her mehendi. While the sangeet was all about attraction, here there is more. The feelings are new and represent blooming, innocent love.

Dressed in black and white, Arnav is both a playful flirt and a charming lover.

---

Payash’s Havan

During Payal and Akash's havan ceremony, Arnav is dressed in a navy shirt without a collar (this time it’s a fancy version of a v-neck!), paired with a steel grey waistcoat and grey pants.

"Navy blue is just as easily reminiscent of the deep, blue ocean."

The blue that Arnav wears represents the blue ocean that his name represents, as he watches the ambulance drive away with the belief that his Khushi is inside. He is struck by disbelief, reduced to an almost childlike state of panic with the fear of loss. The child in him is still in grief from his parents' death, in particular his mother’s - so when he believes he’s lost the woman he loves, the ocean that so effortfully tries to stay unaffected rages into a devastated storm.

"Do you even know what I'm going through? Do you know how worried I was? I thought I lost you. What if you were in that ambulance? What if I lost you?"

When Khushi asks him why it matters, why he cares, he is unable to voice his feelings and acknowledge the reason. "It’s neither one thing nor the other–as in "grey area." The grey of his waistcoat and pants mirror the grey area that their relationship is in - without a name. On one hand he buys her bangles, yet on the other, he refuses to confess why he does so.

Unlike in the past, this time Arnav wears a shirt that is more of a v neck. While an open collar indicates openness and vulnerability, the complete lack of a collar presents him in his utmost vulnerable state as he falls deeper in love, which leads to the self realization of his feelings later that night.

Dressed in navy blue and grey, Arnav grapples with the potential trauma/past trigger of loss, and struggles to define and utter his feelings.

---

Morning/Afternoon of the Wedding Day

Arnav wears a white shirt with the collar buttoned, along with a black waistcoat, tie, and suit.

At this point, Arnav has admitted and accepted his feelings regarding Khushi to himself. On this day, he makes the monumental decision of confessing his feelings to the woman he loves, which is why it's no wonder that he is seen wearing a three piece suit for the significant occasion. Formal wear elicits feelings of power, control and confidence. He is a man on a mission, and he sure looks the part.

"The suit and tie indicate alpha male power traits, which adds to the appeal."

Arnav has switched from the relaxed, open collar shirts we have previously seen to a closed collar paired with a tie, mirroring his state of mind accordingly. If he was lazily exploring his relationship with Khushi previously, at present he possesses resolve. He has clarity. He wishes to name this relationship, and he means business as he makes up his mind to confess.

White represents new beginnings, a blank slate on which Arnav and Khushi can dream of a future together as they move past the misunderstandings and pains of the past. Black represents self confidence and taking control, both reflected in his decision to voice his emotions, which he is now fully resolute about.

Dressed in formal wear of black and white, Arnav decides to come forward with his feelings for Khushi with confidence and hope for the future.

---

Evening of the Wedding Day

Arnav is seen in the same outfit as the morning/afternoon of the wedding day.

Arnav opens the terrace door and witnesses Shyam hugging the woman he loves, listens to her telling his brother in law to leave his sister. Earlier, I mentioned how white symbolizes new beginnings. This is truly a new beginning, but a catastrophic one: the beginning of the end. This time, every last hope for the future is erased, and his image of Khushi is shattered. White symbolizes a blank slate once again.

"White is often used to depict purity and the redemption of sin."

Arnav becomes the catalyst for redemption, but not for sins of his own, but for Shyam's. He's desperate to correct calamities. He's desperate to avoid history being repeated. He has watched his parents crumble and die due to infidelity; he cannot let it happen once again to his Di.

The color black, again, reflects taking control. Arnav, although distraught and shaken, takes control of the situation in ways he sees fit. He confronts Shyam, decides to reveal the truth to Anjali (albeit couldn't), and eventually, decides to coerce Khushi into marrying him. All of these decisions are made in an attempt to take control.

The same closed collar that represented drive and intention now symbolizes constraint and suffocation after seeing the woman he loves in the arms of his sister's husband. His tie in particular represents his suffocation. When Arnav reaches his room after witnessing Shyam and Khushi on the terrace, he yanks off his tie and blazer and flings them away in an attempt to release his overbearing emotions.

With the physical representations of his suffocation thrown away in an act of anguish, the now open collar conveys just how emotionally vulnerable and helpless he feels.

Dressed in black and white, this time the colors represent Arnav taking control to amend sin.

---

Night of the Wedding

On the night of the wedding, Arnav is seen wearing a black shirt with a buttoned collar, a midnight blue tie, a midnight blue waistcoat, and a black suit.

At this time, Arnav has already taken the time to momentarily grieve and process what he had witnessed on the terrace. Not only has he just found out that his brother in law is a vile traitor and the woman he loves is (in his eyes) a lying cheat, he has just come to terms with the monumental news that his sister is carrying her traitor's child. He has now come to the decision on how he will play the cards he's been dealt, in the way he sees fit. According to color psychology, blue is associated with trustworthiness and reliability. For the sake of protecting his sister, he manipulates Khushi to marry him, regardless of how much it pains him to do so because to him, everything is justified in order to be his Di's protector.

"Midnight blue also conveys confidence, power and authority, while its deep hue can also come across as dark and mysterious."

By forcing her to marry him, Arnav abuses his power over Khushi as he intimidates her with breaking her sister's marriage if she doesn't comply. The mysteriousness of midnight blue is reflected through the mystery behind his actions in Khushi's eyes. Why is he doing this? What has changed? The Rajkumar has morphed into the Raakshas.

Although he wears a midnight blue waistcoat and tie, they almost look black in certain lighting, which makes it seem as though he is dressed in all black. Arnav wore all black during the sangeet as well - though at that point - it represented the seductive and mystifying side of the color. Now, the symbolism is drastically different, showing the dark and gritty side.

"Black hides vulnerabilities: It conceals weaknesses, such as weight, feelings, and emotions." Arnav does not, cannot have any place in his heart for vulnerabilities as he stands by duty. His two weaknesses, his Di and Khushi, are now pitted against each other in his mind. The woman who is having an affair with his pregnant sister's husband. And so, he has chosen to destroy one weakness to protect the other.

"Black intimidates: Its boldness intimidates those around, creating an invisible sense of power." Arnav utilizes fear to present his demanding ultimatum to Khushi, instilling trepidation regarding the potential destruction of Payal and Akash's marriage.

"Black depresses – It brings moods down, allowing sad and depressive thoughts." His actions lead to a domino effect resulting in a devastating shift within and between the two families. Relationships are fractured and pain becomes the ruling emotion. Black is also the color of mourning in many cultures, symbolizing the visible death of what had blossomed between Arnav and Khushi in the days leading up to this point.

Dressed in black and a shade of midnight blue that gives the illusion of an all black outfit, Arnav protects by using power and fear, which eventually leads to turmoil and suffering.

---

Quoted sentences and color meanings taken from the internet.

Tagging some of my fav accounts because I’m curious to hear your thoughts 🥹 @jalebi-weds-bluetooth @honeybellexox @chutkiandchotte @herelivesahobbit

[mindblowingscience]

Genome sequencing technology provides thousands of new plant genomes annually. In agriculture, researchers merge this genomic information with observational data (measuring various plant traits) to identify correlations between genetic variants and crop traits like seed count, resistance to fungal infections, fruit color, or flavor. However, the grasp of how genetic variation influences gene activity at the molecular level is quite limited. This gap in knowledge hinders the breeding of "smart crops" with enhanced quality and reduced negative environmental impact achieved by combination of specific gene variants of known function. Researchers from the IPK Leibniz Institute and Forschungszentrum Jülich (FZ) have made a significant breakthrough to tackle this challenge. Led by Dr. Jedrzej Jakub Szymanski, the international research team trained interpretable deep learning models, a subset of AI algorithms, on a vast dataset of genomic information from various plant species. "These models not only were able to accurately predict gene activity from sequences but also pinpoint which sequence parts contribute to these predictions," explains the head of IPK's research group "Network Analysis and Modeling." The AI technology which the researchers applied is akin to that used in computer vision, which involves recognizing facial features in images and inferring emotions.

Continue Reading.

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Hi, Jalebi! When Arnav broke up with Lavenya she, though broken hearted, acted with grace and maturity. Given that it was he that ended things and given his dominance in their relationship do you think she could have manipulated it to get him to marry her anyway? I think the impression was given that it was a mutual decision. But, I watched the show as a non Hindi speaker so only got bits of the dialogue and analysis from blogs such as yours and Phati Sari’s among others. What are your thoughts?

Hey!

Arnav is really good at recognizing people and unlike male leads nowadays - he is extremely hard to manipulate.

Yes, at times he gives in to what his sister wants but that's out of love. He will happily construct a temple for his family in his house (despite him being an atheist) and he will accompany his family to go to a temple because he feels it is his personal responsibility to care for them.

He will happily have religious events and festivities in his house, he won't mind Akash marrying young nor mind multiple marriage rituals for Khushi because he's trying to fulfill her vision of a dream marriage.

Doing something you typically won't do for love is different from getting manipulated.

His family pressurizes and attempts to manipulate Arnav MULTIPLE times to get married. He doesn't. And it doesn't even wear him down.

Lavanya's inital secretary tries to catch Arnav's attention - he doesn't bat an eyelid.

Khushi tries to influence his mind about Lavanya and his relationship with her several times and he ONLY responds in anger, cuts off the conversation - and is never influenced by what she does/says.

His own perception of goodness, his own emotions might make him act in a behavior more aligned to what his family/Khushi expects and it might appear they're influencing him.

In fact, Arnav even uses Khushi's line of elders forgiving their younger ones to Khushi not because he's influenced by Khushi, he knows Khushi has a better vocabulary when it comes to things like this. He's well aware his blank one worded apology or him feeling bad does not even acknowledge the extent of which he has hurt his sister.

And I'm saying all of this because Lavanya is good human being, hence Arnav feels the guilt of breaking things off. However, the minute Lavanya changed intent, no matter how twisted things were, no matter if Arnav was responsible for Lavanya going bitter - he WOULDN'T be manipulated into getting married. He'd straight up call things off and show her the door.

Then the question is why was Shyam able to manipulate Arnav? One, Arnav's past trauma resurfaced that clouded his judgement. Shyam is extremely intelligent - he's a villain who is matched up to Arnav on every level. Three, Shyam played into Arnav's viewpoint as opposed to challenging it.

Had Shyam said anything ludicrous, anything out of Arnav's existing skepticism - then Arnav would've seen through Shyam (and Shyam was in Arnav's blindspot - Anjali).

Nobody can actually manipulate Arnav. He's too set in his ways.

Sometimes for the good.

And sometimes for the bad.

Best,

Jalebi

(you should be able to find subtitled/dubbed version of IPK online)

[chutkiandchotte]

Rakshas/Rajkumar

Now I may possibly have crossed into the OVER analysis phase of my IPK rewatch but just realized that the way Arnav is lit throughout this scene, he is in half light, half dark - and in the context it is so symbolically effective? Because here, he is being Khushi’s Rajkumar/Rakshas in full force.

So this is the scene the night of the elopement when Arnav warns off Shyam. He’s just forcibly married Khushi for 6 months, breaking her heart and destroying her life - but with this same action, he also put a temporary (unfortunately not permanent ☹️) end to Shyam’s evil plans vis a vis Khushi. 

After saying and doing a 100 cruel things to her, he now stands here declaring himself as the obstacle and shield between Khushi and her harasser, menacingly warning Shyam that now Khushi is HIS and to stay the hell away from her. 

Half light, half dark, Khushi’s destroyer, Khushi’s protector - Arnav!

Note: I kind of wish they’d followed through with this thread properly and shown that Shyam, due to fear of ASR, actually stays away from Khushi (especially around Arnav). Or at least, ceases his overt sexual/physical harassment. And Khushi is begrudgingly grateful for the (what she believes is an) accidental silver lining in the midst of the pain/confusion of the contract marriage; and seeks Arnav out more solely due to this. It would have made more sense as the real motivation for her to ignore and compartmentalize Arnav’s abusive behavior and seek him out to spend MORE time with him as opposed to like whatever the hell the swami track was, for example.

[jalebi-likes]

Hi! Hope you are doing well! I love reading your itv analysis so was wondering if you have watched bepannah and/or beyhadh 2? And what were your thoughts on them? :)

Hey there!

Thanks for asking a question! I barely get non IPK asks so I'm super excited someone found this blog T_T

I watched the initial bits of Bepannah and wasn't too into the idea because the early BG music took me out of the show. I did enjoy the chemistry between Adi-Zoya! Harshad-Jen had insane chemistry. I wish they were in a better show! However I do enjoy little clippings now and then, just not too much into the plot nor its execution as a whole.

I watched Beyhadh 1 and I was fully into it for Jen. She was damn fab. @aye-masakalii and I were discussing how instead of Kushal Tandon there should've been Rohit Purohit/Arjun Bijlani as the male lead! Beyhadh 2 I watched the first few episodes for Jen and the negative male lead but I think it lost plot and steam somewhere down the line...

Thanks for asking me this!

Much love,

S

[jayanthitbrc]

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[pakki-ya-nahin]

Hi PyN, I am your *not so serious* question anon :) Thanks for your enthusiastic reply <3 Much obliged. Here my question goes, " If Arnav had proposed Khushi the way Mr Darcy did and Khushi had the same response as Lizzie, what would have been ASR's repercussion? And the aftermath of their relationship?" If I am asking too much, Forgive me and take the liberty to ignore this ask. I hope you and YOUR FAMILY IS IN GOOD HEALTH *_* Happy Weekend 🎊

Hiiiii my dear *not so serious* question Anon, 

Sorry for the delayed response! I had my period and I was down in the dumps 😞

I am basing my response based on ASR’s characterization in the show coz I LOVE it! Also, I am assuming you’re referring to Darcy’s first proposal, yeah?

If Arnav had proposed Khushi the way Mr. Darcy did and Khushi had the same response as Lizzie, what would have been ASR’s repercussion?

First of all.. Canonically....

I don’t think an Arnav ‘in love’ would propose to Khushi as Darcy did, because...

Consider this,

Darcy had no clue about what Elizabeth felt about him(he was appalled when Lizzie rejected him) whereas Arnav was aware of Khushi’s feelings for him almost every step of their journey excluding the times they ignored their own understanding of the other.

Pride- Darcy vs Arnav: Darcy battled with Pride and love. Even when he was very much in love with Lizzie, he could not bring himself to accept her rank and connections. On the other hand when Arnav fell in love, he started doing many things just for Khushi like paying her father’s hospital bills, saying ‘SORRY’ to her...before he even knew he was in love. Arnav did not battle with pride, only the façade of ‘ASR’ did(for a brief time).

But this scenario did play out( in a way) when he asked her to consent for a contract marriage. It was an outrageous proposal and Khushi turned him down until he held her sister’s marriage at stake. But the circumstances were vastly different.

Answering it as a ‘what-if?’

Darcy and Arnav are both alphas, so even if Arnav did propose like that in an alternate IPK universe, I think he’d take it on himself to woo Khushi. Maybe he’d try to seal the deal with gifts at first and when they backfire, have a heart to heart with her and understand what the problem is, for starters. Even in the show, they adapt so well to each other’s life style(given how contrary they were) and his passion and chivalry is sure to win Khushi’s heart! After all, as Arnav, in episode 347 says, "Love can reduce anyone, to anything."

I hope you like my response, but this is completely my subjective opinion. No matter what anyone says, your head canon is always the best because its ‘yours’ :)

Thank you for giving me a chance to visit my favorite worlds by sending this ask, especially because today is my birthday 🥳 Take care anon!

Hugs 🤗

-PyN

[phati-sari]

Hey PS! Having a tough day today (both personally and professionally) so I started re-reading the recaps. I can’t put into words how much reading your analysis helps my anxiety- I really don’t know how that works tbh but IPK, and your blog for past few years now, have been a safe space I can go to to relax my mind, more like get out of my mind. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Hello :)

Thank you very much for reaching out and leaving such a sweet message. I've also had a pretty crappy day and your message brightened it considerably. I hope things start improving for you, and I'm glad the blog can bring some measure of peace to your life.

Take loads of care, sending you all my good wishes!

[urwatueat]

Hello There,

Just messaging you to say I am in LOVE with the artwork you've put for IPK. Ugh, it's so good <3 <3 <3 <3

Lots of love,

JWB

Omg thank you so much????😳 Im just doing my part in the fandom 😌✊

Also, i LOVE ur podcast 👀 Cant wait to see the next episode analysis 😊😊 Keep up the good work 🥰🥰

[honeybellexox]

Headcanon #3

TW: mentions of gr***ing

Khushi Kumari Gupta is neurodivergent. Yep, I said it. Specifically undiagnosed ADHD. I’m no psychologist but there’s so much evidence in the show to imply her neurodivergence (ND).

(I also have adhd-nd and she’s very relatable).

I’ll attempt to skim the show and find specific instances in a later post if anyone is interested but from the top of my head, the one example that I can recall that showcases her ND, is when she accidentally slaps Arnav. This scene highlights her impulsivity and her being out of touch with social norms. Her general personality is much like this, she’s very offbeat, I think it goes deeper than general ‘quirkiness’ or ‘manic pixie dream girl’ syndrome. Just generally will go over some of her traits that indicate her ND/ADHD; excessive daydreaming, impulsivity, inclination for drama, poor understanding of social norms (not in the same way a person with autism struggles, people with ADHD can read the room but their reactions may be inappropriate at times - suicide track ), fixations, self soothing behaviours (fidgeting, making jalebi when upset), her childlike behaviour/immaturity for her age (expanding on this below).

(Pic from Pinterest)

People with ND take slightly longer to mature, it’s a bit of paradox as when they’re children they’re seen ‘mature’ for their age but that becomes the opposite at early adulthood (this is a generalisation and not every person with ND fits the same narrative, but myself and my friends experienced this dynamic and a lot of people with ND relate to this phenomenon). Khushi seemingly also fits into this narrative, when we first meet her, she first comes across as ‘mature’ (on surface level), she’s also heavily masking but we see her childlike nature as the show progresses, this also quickly becomes dark in hindsight, ( TW) Shyam essentially grooms Khushi, yes she’s an adult but she’s a young adult (be it 18 or 22), an on top of that a young adult woman with ND. I don’t mean to infantilise women with ND but there is a marked difference in development and understanding; young adult women with ND are also known to be more likely at risk of s***** abuse and grooming as predators are drawn to their lack of boundaries, experience and understanding.

But I digress, I know this is a controversial take and I hope I didn’t offend anyone making this post; especially women with ND who might read this, I honestly went of my own experience, my friends (I have many friends with diagnosed ND who had the same experience of feeling mentally younger and being infantilised) and basically what I did at uni, I worked with people learning disabilities - for the life of me, I wish I could reference the last claim, I vividly remember reading it somewhere (online article/book) but I couldn’t find it 😭💖 - but please remember that this was a generalisation and it doesn’t mean every individual with ND has the same experience xx

Honey💖

[honeybellexox]

Another stunning analysis by @myloveforstuff !! I hope you don’t mind me sharing my ideas!!😭😭 I just love this so much! ❤️✨

Green outfit- The green is such an interesting colour choice, a departure from the red and navy. Idk if it’s completely random but I love how it’s the same colour as the heart chakra! An opening of Khushi’s heart? Also, love that it’s a very sultry, mamba green matching the mysterious essence of Arnav’s all black outfit!

Pink/beige outfit - So I have a conspiracy theory ..could the pink border symbolise Khushi’s flirtatious energy ; she’s trying to remain neutral (beige) but the flirtatious pink is all around her. It’s a very different colour for her …she usually sticks to a blue, red, yellow, orange wardrobe. The hot pink is unusual, new and almost uncertain on her.

I just realised that the yellow (Khushi’s fave colour) deepens into orange and then red (Arnav’s fave colour), red also being the colour of passion and love.

Could the indigo blue on her last outfit also represent the hidden depth of her love towards Arnav on top of her sadness?? (Similar to the navy in Arnav’s looks?)

I’m sorry for blabbing again, thank you for writing such an in depth analysis, was honestly a treat to read!!!!🥺✨

Honey! 💗✨

IPKKND Color Analysis!

A few days ago while re-watching episodes from the Payash Wedding track, I noticed something significant about the colors Khushi Kumari Gupta wears, and the symbolism behind each color along with the events that follow during that particular time. 

Each day, starting from the sangeet ceremony up until the actual wedding, the various colors she adorns seem to reflect the graph of her relationship with Arnav, be it the positive highlights or the eventual negative, post the wedding.

1. The sangeet ceremony

Khushi wears a striking emerald green sari for her last performance, and we see her wearing this while Arnav steps in to dance with her (meanwhile killing us all with the sequence GAH). This gesture feels foreign to her, as she is used to him being  the ‘I’ll-act-like-I-don’t-care-about-you-Arnav’ instead of the Arnav that is dancing with her because he wants to, not because he has to. This Arnav is different - his eyes are speaking words she has never felt before, and although she is confused that it feels different, she knows it is a good different.

Green, the color of renewal, harmony and growth. Their past is forgotten as of now and they are one step closer to mending what is broken. For the first time they are together and in sync, effortlessly dancing their way into a new and better phase in their relationship. They are not two heads clashing against one another at all times, but two hearts trying to know and feel each other.

“The expression “greener pastures” and “grass is greener” are used in reference to something newer or better.”

2. The mehendi ceremony

Khushi adorns a beige colored anarkali with bright pink works on it, the bright pink being the main focus of this beautiful outfit. The slight nok-jhoks, Arnav’s teasing and Khushi’s heartbeats all create a light hearted mood in place of the usual tension, intensity and angst. Khushi is branded with an ‘A’ on her mehendi filled hands, and tries her best to cover up for it while Arnav is amused at this and confronts her about it, for the first time, in a playful way. The voice-mail he received where she said she was worried for him, to touching her hand in the water by the poolside, to finally daring her to do what she couldn’t have imagined doing - I see the ultimate flirt in Arnav, constantly finding excuses to be with the girl he is so helplessly drawn to.

Pink, the color of playfulness, romance and charm. Arnav holds her dupatta and pulls her close like a bollywood hero, while Khushi’s cheeks turn laal seconds after his kiss that will invade her mind for hours on end afterwards. Both smitten, everything feels warm and fuzzy all around.

“Passion and power from the color red, softened with the purity and openness of the white color completes pink… The deeper the pink color, the more passion and energy it radiates.”

3. Akash and Payal’s havan

Wearing a vibrant yellow anarkali along with an orange dupatta, Khushi mirrors the emotions she is feeling at that point in time. Her heart leaps whenever her eyes meet Arnav’s, yet she is still not sure of her emotions and what they mean.  Arnav fruitlessly searches for Khushi, worried out of his wits for her, wondering if she is safe. Running after an ambulance, screaming her name in vain - all because she had come to mean way too much for him, too much for him to even think about existing without her.  

“Too little yellow causes feelings of isolation and fear and insecurity.” This lines up with the lack of Khushi’s presence building an immense amount of fear in Arnav.

When she was finally in front of him, he yells like a mad man, holds her face and says, “What if I lost you?”. The first thought in his mind, the fear of losing her.��Later on we see him gifting her a set of bangles, which again reflects his change of heart. She wears it with utmost joy, but cannot believe that Arnav Singh Raizada would be the sender of the beautiful bangles. When she asks him to tell her if he was really the one who bought it for her, he declares the truth, saying yes. 

Yellow, the color of joy, hope and clarity. The joy of that came with gifting Khushi the bangles and seeing a smile on her face warmed Arnav’s heart, while the joy of receiving them from the one person her heartbeats belonged to made Khushi beam with happiness. It plants a seed of hope in her, hope that this sudden change of heart will forever remain. Arnav realizes his love for Khushi on this same night later on as he stands by the french doors in his room, thus bringing a sense of clarity in his life, a definite revelation. 

4. Morning/afternoon of the Wedding Day

Khushi wears a rich, deep orange colored suit. The vibrancy of the color almost makes it look red, but it is more of a bold orange which lacks the brilliance of true red. There is now something gentle about the way they look at and regard each other. They have gazed at each other for endless moments many times before, but this time they did so with a smile on their faces that radiated warmth. Arnav even becomes a waiter for her, swallowing his leftover ego which has since reduced to almost nothing - all because of her. She has already changed him to be the man he is today. A man with love pouring out of his soul, waiting to be expressed.

“Orange will help a person recover from disappointments, a wounded heart, or a blow to one’s pride.”

Arnav Singh Raizada is a man with a wounded heart, but his decision to declare his love for her is a reflection of the color on Khushi. 

Orange, the color of change, passion and expression. The possible confession of love will bring significant change in their relationship, one that both Arnav and Khushi look forward to. The tension between them is evident, but it is not suppressed anymore, rather it is professed and conveyed. Emotions are felt and expressed, whether by words, actions or looks. Simple gestures go a long way now. Voices lower to almost whispers.

“Khushi, main tumse…” A sentence left unfinished, yet Khushi knew how it ends.

“Aap… humse,” She said, a half uttered question. Waiting to hear it from his lips.

5. Evening of the Wedding Day

Khushi is still wearing the orange suit, anticipating the arrival of Arnav on the terrace, waiting for him to tell her kyun farak padhta hai. Overwhelmed by her emotions she waits, a soft smile playing on her lips.

Then, reality is changed when Shyam shows up, revealing his vile intentions.

Once again - Orange, the color of change. The change could have been the start of newfound love for Arnav and Khushi, a new beginning. But the change turned out to be the beginning of the end. Arnav opens the terrace door and witnesses Shyam hugging the woman he loves, listens to her telling his brother in law to leave his sister. Every ounce of hope shatters.

“Dark orange may represent deceit and distrust.”

6. Night of the Wedding

Khushi changes into a blood red and royal blue colored lehenga for the actual wedding ceremony. The damage has already been done at that point, Khushi’s desperation to talk to Arnav after the terrace incident went in vain as he didn’t even want to face her. She is now wondering about the cause of his sudden change in behavior - why were his eyes cold and distant? The man who made her heart race with passionate gazes, why were his eyes pierced with rage?

Red, the color of anger, violence and danger.

Although red is a telltale sign of love, in this case it represents fury. Seething anger and upcoming danger. 

“Red represents power and courage.” Arnav Singh Raizada’s power to make Khushi do what he demands, the power to manipulate her for what he deems the only right option. The courage needed to not only decide to marry her for the sake of his sister, but to actually carry it out. The courage needed to not only accept his demand, but to sacrifice herself for the sake of her sister. The courage needed to face their families, to endure the blames, the questions, the pain.

Blue, the color of sadness, trust and loyalty. The shadow of pain and sadness that has engulfed everyone at this point in time was foreshadowed with the deep blue color on Khushi’s lehenga. Trust, a component that is missing in their relationship and will continue to, months after the wedding. Loyalty, something that Shyam lacks, witnessed by Arnav just a few hours before. Loyal, something he does not see Khushi as. He thinks of her as disloyal and untrustworthy, and it disgusts him. 

“The phrase “true blue” stands for someone who is loyal, trustworthy, and faithful.”

The blue in her lehenga represents that she is in fact loyal, a reminder of her trustworthiness and honesty. The fact that she was and will always be only his, not anyone else’s.

“The terms “feeling blue” or “getting the blues” refers to the extreme calm feelings associated with blue, such as sadness and depression.”

Pain and sadness have become the two ruling emotions.

“The expression “into the blue” means entering the unknown or uncertainty, not knowing what you’re walking into.”

Neither of them know what to expect from this marriage that will bind them together. They are now walking an uncertain path - once again entering a new phase in their relationship.

Note - I don’t know whether this has been written about before; I just wanted to document my own thoughts! :)

Quoted sentences and color meanings taken from the internet.

[cuddlerjunkie]

10 April 2020

Pagi ini di masa karantina, gue dalam kondisi mengantuk namun tidak bisa terlelap memutuskan untuk mengeluarkan pikiran untuk dituangkan di dalam ketikan ini. Gue bingung. Ya, gue bingung bahkan atas apa yang gue bingungin. Gue ga paham lagi sama diri gue sendiri. Pemahaman gue atas diri gue bahkan boleh dibilang ga sampe 20%. Bahkan ketika ketikan ini dibuat gue gatau mau dibawa kemana dan goal dari ketikan ini nantinya akan menjadi apa. Tapi melalui ketikan ini gue berharap pelan-pelan bisa mengerti gue sendiri.

Beberapa minggu yang lalu gue berusaha untuk membuat sebuah tulisan yang lebih mendalam dari tulisan ini dengan merunut apa yang gue jalani secara mendetail dari sejauh ingatan yang pernah gue alami semuda mungkin hingga awal 2020. Namun baru sampai circa SD, gue mulai meninggalkan ketikan itu sehingga masih terbengkalai meskipun sudah mencapai 2000 kata.

Sejujurnya gue gatau mulai sejak kapan kebiasaan gue yang suka untuk mengulur-ulur waktu yang tingkatannya sudah sangat parah ini. Selain itu, bisa dibilang kebiasaan ini juga dapat dikaitkan dengan kebiasaan buruk lainnya. Bisa dibilang penyebab yang tidak bukan adalah mudahnya gue untuk terdistraksi dari hal-hal yang sedang atau harusnya gue kerjakan. Ironisnya, bahkan ketika sedang dalam proses pengetikan dari ketikan ini gue terdistraksi oleh hal lainnya.

Gue mencoba untuk membuat tulisan ini dengan alur maju mundur. Ini dikarenakan kadang kalo menceritakan dari awal, gue sering lupa kearah mana gue mau bercerita dan juga dengan menceritakan tidak dari awal apa yang baru-baru aja gue alami bisa lebih fresh. Ketikan gue yang sebelumnya, yang masih tergantung sampai sekarang salah satu alasannya adalah sulit mengingat. Sulit mengingatnya adalah kadang kejadian A sudah diceritakan, ketika sudah sampai C baru mengingat detail A yang mana nantinya harus mengubah B, C dan seterusnya.

Satu hal yang paling ingin gue ungkapin adalah kebiasaan gue yang mudah terdistraksi. Hal yang paling mendistraksi gue nomor satu adalah handphone, wabil khusus adalah sosial media. Ada 2 sosial media platform yang paling mendistraksi gue. Instagram dan tentu saja Twitter. Instagram bisa lebih diminimalisir penggunaannya, ini dikarenakan sebelum adiksi yang gue alami menjadi kondisi yang parah, gue tersadar bahwa instagram mulai menjadi racun buat gue dalam hal gue melihat kalo disini orang-orang menjadi mulai pamer bukan bersosial. Selain itu juga orang sekitar gue di Instagram lebih diisi oleh orang dengan pencapaian yang udah diatas gue. Jadi tidak sulit untuk berhenti membuka instagram. Kesulitan yang ada hanya di masa karantina ini bang pandji membuka acara live di instagram untuk menemani orang-orang yang sedang tidak bisa keluar rumah. Sebagai orang yang tidak bisa kemana-mana, disertai fakta bahwa kosan udah mulai sepi, hampir gada orang malahan, ini sangat membantu. Alasan lainnya adalah bahwa orang yang gue suka hanya menggunakan platform instagram. Sampai gue mengetahui uncorfim info.

Berpindah ke platform lainnya, ini merupakan racun paling mengerikan untuk gue. Twitter merupakan aplikasi simple sosial media. Kita hanya bisa berkata sebanyak 140 karakter dan sudah termasuk spasi, 1 video, serta 4 gambar sebagai tautan. Awal gue terjebak di dalam aplikasi ini adalah awal masuk kuliah gue mulai membuka aplikasi kembali. Kala itu scroll timeline twitter bisa jauh sekali. Maksudnya dalam semenit bisa mencapai 3 bulan yang lalu. Sebelumnya gue break maen twitter semenjak lulus sma. Selain karena sepi. Waktu itu boomingnya path dan juga instagram. Dua-duanya dinilai lebih simpel, karena hanya perlu pos gambar, video, ataupun momen. Singkat cerita sampailah waktu gue mulai kuliah lagi, 2016 gue mulai buka twitter karena bosen buka instagram dan juga orang terlalu jaga citra yang berlebihan atau lebih populer dengan metode punya second account. Tidak salah sih, cuma buat gue persona di sosial media ya apa adanya, kecuali lu punya rahasia gede. Awal gue bertwitter ria lagi, gue mulai follow akun baru yang semasa gue break justru mulai aktif, sedangkan yang gue follow justru banyak yang ikutan break yang bahkan sampe sekarang. Itulah kenapa scroll gue bisa sejauh itu padahal cuma sebentar.

Awalnya gue stay low di twitter diantara temen kuliah, sampe suatu waktu hape gue diambil dan dibuat follow temen kuliah, kebongkar lah gue. Disitu gue mulai ngerti kenapa orang bikin second acc. Mulai deh temen-temen gue follow twitter gue. Tapi karena gue ga jaga image, apa yang gue sebelumnya tweet tetep gue pertahanin. Adiksi ini makin kenceng ketika pertengahan tahun kemaren. Waktu itu gue ambil sp, rencana gue awalnya minta ttd dosen buat magang, dan biar duit ga abis buat ttd doang, kenapa ga ambil sp aja. Tapi nasib baik ga selalu dateng, pas sp gue sakit parah, ga mematikan sih cuma bikin gue gabisa ngapa-ngapain. Karena gue gabisa ngapa-ngapain dan kemana-mana, ya hiburan gue cuma twitter, karena laptop gue udah gabisa buat gaming. Kehadiran base yang kadang lebih canggih dari google buat gue asik ngescroll terus. Kebiasaan buat gue ngeliat twitter terus bikin gue punya mindset kalo gue gabuka twitter gue bakal buta dunia. Ditambah bahwa orang-orang udah pada mulai magang. Jadi grup-grup chat udah mulai sepi. Adiksi ini sampe detik ini belom ada obatnya.

Kebiasaan jelek gue selanjutnya itu gue selalu denial. Denial gue ini buat gue udah parah banget. Saking parahnya gue denial atas kondisi gue yang denial. Mungkin gue belom ke profesional terkait masalah ini. Tapi dari apa yang gue coba inget, penyangkalan gue atas sesuatu itu sering banget dan sering juga atas kesalahan gue sendiri. Kesadaran gue atas kebiasaan gue yang denial ini dari temen gue yang kebetulan satu himpunan dan satu organisasi. Sering banget diskusi dan kalo pas diskusi apa yang gue sampein salah, gue denial disitu. Kalo lebih jauh tarik kebelakang, mungkin denial gue berawal dari drop out gue dari stan. Waktu itu gue didrop out dari stan dengan ipk dibawah standar yang dibawahnya kurang dari 0,5 malah. Kondisi mental gue sudah tentu sangat terguncang. Namun, disitu hal yang paling guncang gue itu gue harus mulai lagi. Jaminan karir yang bisa gue gapai tiba-tiba ilang. Ketakutan-ketakutan gue akan hal-hal yang ga pasti meningkat. Tapi itu buat bahasan nanti. Kembali ke kasus drop out. Perbedaan angka ipk yang gue dapet dengan standar ipk yang ditetapin bikin gue mikir gue tuh sebenernya pinter tapi ga beruntung aja, ditambah waktu itu ada desas-desus kalo ada usaha buat ngurangin saingan. Denger itu makin buat gue makin mikir kalo gue cuma kena tipu aja dan the fact kalo gue pinter. Di satu sisi itu bisa macu buat belajar, tapi di sisi yang buruk bikin males belajar dan jumawa. Unfortunately gue berada di sisi yang kedua. Semenjak itu gue jadi males belajar, bahkan ketika gue ujian mandiri buat masuk ub gue literally belajar cuma h-1 ujian.

Beralih ke masa kuliah, menjadi lebih tua dua tahun dari mayoritas buat gue jadi males stand up. Awalnya sih cuma males, lama-lama malesnya berubah jadi ngerasa inferior. Awal masuk kuliah gue nutup diri karena gue ngerasa kalo pertemanan ini ga bakal  last, yang mana ujung-ujungnya juga jalan sendiri-sendiri. Kembali ke akademik, awal kuliah gue melakukan kesalahan yaitu terbiasa melakukan parafrase yang mana kebiasaan sampe tingkat akhir yang gue jalanin sekarang. Bahkan makin parah dimana kalo ada tugas gue lebih cuma translate tugas yang ada dan cuma dirapihin. Karena itu kemampuan gue nulis yang emang dari awalnya minim makin mendekati batas bawah orang yang gabisa nulis yang cuma 2 paragraf. Karena kebiasaan itu juga gue mulai mengikis skill gue buat analysis atau mikir kritis. Ujungnya di kuliah gue sering banget gabisa jawab pertanyaan dosen, presentase gatau ngomong apa, dan lainnya. Disini juga gue baru sadar kalo gue itu semasa sma bahkan di stan kalo presentasi itu kosong dan gimmick dibanding substansi yang gue sampein.

Kebiasaan gue buat nutup diri yang ditambah seneng buat ngeliat orang kalo ngomong ngebuat gue susah nyampein apa yang harus gue sampein. Sebagai contoh ketika gue ditempatin di divisi HRD gue dapet tugas rutin buat observe dinamika rapat divisi lain. Ketika nyampein hasilnya gue cuma ngomong yang seadanya. Belakangan gue sadar gue orangnya juga gabisa detail, yang mana gue bahas nanti. Semenjak gue kuliah gue lebih banyak jadi pendengar tapi pendengar super pasif, dimana gue gabisa ngasih feedback, gue gatau inti dari yang orang omongin, ya orang ngomong “lewat” aja gitu. Dan gue jatohnya pura-pura ngerti. Keadaan ini nyamber ke ranah akademik gue. Sering dosen ngomong apa gue ga ngerti, dikasih waktu nanya gue seringnya ngurungin niat gue karena takut pertanyaannya keluar karena gue ga merhatiin dan juga gue gatau gimana ngerangkai katanya. Gue ngerasa munafik karena yang gue ajarin ke orang berbalik apa yang gue lakuin.

Beberapa minggu yang lalu gue mulai ngerjain laporan yang harusnya gue udah selesain beberapa bulan lalu terkait magang gue. Ditemenin seorang temen, gue juga cerita sedikit apa yang gue alami. Disitu gue mulai ditanya tentang diri gue. Feedback yang gue terima atas jawaban gue intinya adalah gue gabisa detail atau bisa dibilang gue aja ga kenal diri gue sendiri. Disitu gue lumayan terhenyak. Soalnya gue dari dulu selalu jadi the last person to choose, atau milih pilihan yang gada orang yang milih. Bisa dibilang gue sering banget taken for granted atas apa yang gue dapet. Ternyata fleksibilitas gue ini malah jadi bikin gue gabisa determine siapa gue. Alasan gue kaya gini adalah gue tau gimana rasanya ketika gada yang milih lo atau perasaan diabaikan. Lebih jauh lagi akarnya adalah salah satu dari orang yang gue kagumin waktu gue sma yaitu kepala sekolah pertama gue yaitu pa tata pernah ngomong kalo gausah stand out, tapi biasakan menjadi yang terpilih oleh orang lain. Dan selama ini gue salah mengintepretasikan kata-kata tersebut dimana yang dimaksud adalah keep low, dan ketika terpilih buat fatal blow. Yang gue lakuin justru tidak stand out yang awalnya keep low, lama-lama jadi ga pede-pede. Mulai dari keluar dunia sma, tingkat kepercayaan diri gue menurun. Yang dalam beberapa kasus malah jadi perasaan inferior terhadap orang lain. Mungkin awalnya gue stay low sambil nyiapin apa yang diminta, tapi belakangan menjadi perasaan bersyukur tidak terpilih.

Procastinator adalah musuh gue yang paling gede yang harus gue lawan. Gue gatau mulai darimana kebiasaan gue ini makin jadi. Tapi semenjak kuliah gue makin ngerasa kalo kebiasaan gue ini sampe bikin gue sendiri takut. Kegiatan gue selama gue kuliah ini diisi sama akademik yang obviously keharusan gue sebagai mahasiswa. Di luar itu gue ngikutin organisasi yang berbeda-beda tiap tahunnya. Dari yang gue inget kebiasaan gue yang procastinating ini lebih ketika di hal akademik dibanding hal di luar akademik. Ketika melakukan kegiatan di luar ranah akademik gue cenderung buat seleseain secepet mungkin. Beda kalo akademik, sejauh apapun tenggat waktu yang dikasih gue pasti ngerjain deket hari h pengumpulan. Buat tugas-tugas awal mungkin masih bisa ditolerir, tapi buat mahasiswa tingkat akhir ini bisa jadi mematikan. Ini gue rasain di awal tahun kemaren. Dimana waktu itu harusnya gue mulai nyari-nyari atau ngelakuin market research terhadap tempat dimana gue ngelakuin magang nantinya, tapi gue malah ngerasa releieved kalo ada orang yang belom dapet tempat juga dan malah santai dan tidak mencari, yang harusnya kecuali lo punya koneksi lo bisa nyari deket-deket pelaksanaan magang, tapi gue malah santai karena punya temen. Padahal waktu itu di awal tahun ada pencarian mahasiswa magang tempat gue ngelakuin magang nantinya, yang gue lakuin di akhir tahun.

Berakhirnya semester enam atau tahun ketiga kuliah penanda kalo lu udah sendirian. Kebiasaan gue ngegampangin dan procastinating ngebuat gue khilangan kesempatan buat magang lebih cepet. Gue malah ngurus urusan surat menyurat di hari terakhir perkuliahan atau sehari sebelum gue pulang. Jaminan dosen pembimbing gue yang gampang ngasih ttd malah backfire buat gue. Waktu itu proposal gue dibaca detail yang mana temen satu bimbingan bisa langsung dikasih ttd. Karena itulah gue terpaksa balik ke malang lagi buat minta ttd sekalian ngambil sp yang udah gue jelasin diatas. Kebodohan dan procastinating gue ngehalangin gue buat nyelesain semua semasa di jakarta yang mana proses pembuatan itu harusnya ga lama. Bahkan ketika gue udah di malang gue masih ngulur-ngulur sampe puncaknya gue sakit dan gabisa mikir. Imbas yang gue terima waktu itu sampe spot magang gue keduluan orang. Dan gue malah nyalahin kondisi sakit gue dan tempat perusahaan gue apply sebagai alesan gue gagal magang cepet.

Kabar baik dateng, ada kemungkinan gue bisa magang di waktu yang bareng sama salah satu temen gue. Tapi lagi-lagi procastinating gue ngehalangin gue buat nyelesain cepet-cepet persiapan gue buat magang. Sampe akhirnya waktu magang gue ga bareng sama temen gue. Satu-satunya hal positifnya gue punya cerita aja. Pembuatan laporan pun gue masih juga procastinating yang mana seminggu harusnya udah selesai, tapi kebiasaan procastinating gue, ketakutan gue akan gabisa nulis ngalangin gue buat bisa nyelesain laporan yang bahkan nelat sampe 3 bulan. Bahkan ketika gue mulai bikin ini gue molor sehari saking procastinatingnya gue.

Feeling lonely dan tertinggal mulai ngikis psikis gue. Yang udah gue omongin sebelumnya terkait gue yang ambil sp. Mulai dari situ 2 perasaan tersebut mulai ngehantuin gue. Di saat gue mulai sp di malang, temen-temen gue mulai dengan magangnya. Ditambah temen kosan gue yang kebanyakan diatas atau dibawah gue, gada yang satu angkatan sama gue. Dan mulai tahun ajaran ini mulai pada pergi satu-satu jadi gue tinggal disini sendirian. Being lonely gue rasain karena gue ngerasa orang udah pada mulai ngejalanin waktu berharganya, jadi sayang aja buat ngeluangin waktu buat gue. Gue ngerasa engga berharga buat orang lain. Kadang gue juga ngerasa gabisa nyeritain apa yang gue rasain ke orang lain. Bisa ceritapun belom tentu orang lain mengerti. To wider extent, ngerasa orang kepo aja, bukan buat bantu. Dan gue juga takut dijudge dan juga cerita gue berpindah dari satu mulut ke mulut lain. Perasaan tertinggal yang gue rasain ga cuma terhadap orang lain ga cuma ke temen kuliah aja. Sebagai orang yang gap year 2 tahun, temen semasa sma gue banyak yang punya kehidupan lebih settle dibanding gue, jadi gue gabisa approach mereka buat sekedar cerita, sehingga balik lagi ke feeling alone. Gue ngerasa gapunya apa itu real support system dan gue bukan solo player.

Masuk ke umur 24 gue mulai banyak takut. Takut akan ketidakpastian akan di masa depan. Ketakutan itu banyak dari faktor finansial. Bukan dari apakah gue akan hidup mewah atau jatuh miskin nantinya, tapi apakah gue bisa ngeprovide finansial support nantinya buat orang yang membutuhkan di sekitar gue, terutama keluarga serta temen gue. Sebagai orang yang memiliki value akan other happiness yang menurut gue belakangan adalah super sampah ini, mendahulukan kepentingan orang lain dibanding kepentingan diri sendiri adalah keharusan. Ketakutan terbesar gue salah satunya ialah gimana kalo orang tua gue harus masuk rumah sakit dan gue gabisa support. Dari semenjak drop out gue dari stan ini yang paling pertama gue pikirin dan sampe sekarang ada di kepala gue. Bahkan ketakutan tanpa alasan gue inilah yang bikin gue mutusin mantan gue yang terakhir karena gue sendiri aja ga yakin sama diri gue, gimana mau tanggung jawab orang lain.

Lack of responsibility juga jadi satu masalah gue. Gatau kenapa gue kaya gapunya meaning buat hidup. Tapi engga, engga terbesit sama sekali buat ngeakhirin, lebih kearah gada tujuan aja. Sad truth gue bahkan gapunya impian at this moment. Ini juga gue sadarin ketika gue sadar gue orang yang gabisa detail akan sesuatu. Bahkan untuk tujuan hidup, mimpi aja gue gapunya. Makanya ketika gue ngerjain sesuatu dan berhenti,  yaudah.

Gue ngerasa kalo gue punya sosok lain dari kesadaran gue ini. Orang yang ketika ngebuka mata itu beda sama orang yang akan berangkat menutup mata di badan ini. Ada pergolakan batin ketika gue mau ngelakuin sesuatu. Mungkin itu cuma males atau bisa ada kepribadian lain gue gatau yang mana.

Kepercayaan diri itu penting banget. Tapi gatau kenapa ini juga masalah gue, perasaan pd gue mulai ilang pelan-pelan dalam ngelakuin sesuatu. Kalo boleh self diagnose sih sejak gue drop out dari stan. Semenjak dari situ gue ngerasa apa yang gue lakuin nantinya pasti not good enough. Baik dari nulis, ngomong di depan orang, build a relationship, etc. Gue ngerasa kaya sucks at everything. Anehnya disaat bersamaan gue sering banget underestimate orang lain. Gue sering ngeremehin orang lain, yang celakanya orang lain berkembang gue engga. Imbasnya orang yang gue underestimate malah lebih sukses dibanding gue.

Gue ga ngerti sama diri gue. Gue gatau udah berapa banyak film, gambar, video yang sebenernya lowkey ngingetin gue atau bisa jadi turning point dari perubahan gue. Tapi ujung-ujungnya apa yang terjadi sama gue asal lewat aja, atau yang udah gue sebutin diatas gue yang baru baru buka mata berbeda sama gue yang pengen nutup mata.

Mungkin segitu dulu. Sebenernya masih banyak yang gue pengen ketik, cuma bingung aja ngedefine lewat kata-kata apa yang gue alamin. Dan juga dari paragraf-paragraf diatas gue ngebahas secara general aja, dan banyak variabel yang ga gue masukin kaya keluarga. Selain itu juga gue ngebatasin bahasan gue di semasa gue abis drop out dari stan sampe sekarang.

Apa yang gue mau sih sekarang kepercayaan diri gue balik lagi. Kepercayaan diri gue yang kaya dulu, kepercayaan diri dimana segalanya mungkin, kepercayaan diri dimana gada yang mustahil, kepercayaan kalo gue bisa ngelawan dunia. Salah satu variabel dari kepercayaan diri mungkin adalah motivasi. Jujur makin kesini gue mulai kehilangan motivasi gue buat ngapa-ngapain. Gue perlu motivasi gausah yang muluk, motivasi yang bisa bikin gue buat ngerjain kewajiban gue yang sekarang aja. Karena sebagai mahasiswa tingkat akhir ini teramat sangat gue perluin. Gue juga pengen ngurangin denial gue. Ga sampe ilang si cuma ngruangin aja. Karena kadang denial ga buruk, tapi di kasus gue denial yang gue punya menurut gue buruk. Gue pengen ngilangin ketakutan gue yang secara aneh juga ketika lu bahkan gabisa ngejelasin ketakutan lu sendiri. Selain itu juga gue pengen ngilangin kebiasaan gue yang procastinating atau gampang banget kedistraksi akan sesuatu. Hal-hal yang udah gue coba buat ngilangin kebiasaan gue ini yang procastinating kaya ngilangin hal-hal yang buat gue kedistraksi gada hasil, jatohnya gue sering tidur. Secara mental ini buat gue capek banget. Asli. Sebenernya gue udah mulai produktif belakangan ini dengan ga berada di kosan dan mengerjakan atau setidaknya mengetik sesuatu, tapi semenjak karantina ini gue jadi gabisa kemana-mana. Dan yah jadinya bertwitter sama nonton film aja. Padahal ada kewajiban yang menanti-nanti buat gue kerjain. Gue berharap, dan harus jadi kenyataan kalo gue bisa ngilangin negative vibes ini dari gue dan secepatnya nyelesain semua kewajiban yang harusnya di waktu gue nulis ini udah selesai. No regret. Moving forward.

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Hi JWB, How are you doing? I have started re-watching IPK, this is my 3rd time. I really love your analysis on the show it makes my re-watch worthwhile. I appreciate your dedication towards the show and the fans, you keep us all together in this journey.

So my ask is, post Diwali events Khushi understands that Arnav loves Lavanya not her (because Arnav breaks her heart by saying she means nothing to him and ready to get married to Lavanya). What does Khushi think or her POV, why Arnav is distressed and tormented when he heard of Khushi's engagement. Also he did not hide his pain when she was knocking on Shyam's door and calling his name.

What did she make out of his pain/distress?

I hope my question makes sense.

Have a nice day!!

Thanks,

Sri

Hello Sri!

I'm doing good - recovering from a flu! Thank you so much for your kindness.

See first of all Khushi does not ever think she's a choice for Arnav during Diwali. What happens is that, he becomes a choice for Khushi - there are two separate things. Arnav being vaguely available gave her the reason to not marry Shyam.

Post kiss she's desperate to know if there's anything she can scavenge for (note how her own reluctance to marriage is tied to Arnav's reluctance to marriage) - but with Arnav formalizing his engagement, Khushi has lost her hope.

Shyam is perfect on paper, yet he's insufficient because all Khushi wants is Arnav.

He's the only person she'd be fully happy with.

And then everything snaps, like a sad dream.

Also, Arnav didn't just want to break Khushi's heart (he does not know that Khushi loves him) - his intention was to run away from the fact that he cheated Lavanya, and literally do damage control and gain control over the whole situation.

Also, all Arnav and Khushi share is one look when Khushi is calling for Shyam. There's discomfort, unease - but nothing more that either can discern. The looks are there for the audience to understand. But the characters who are in a torrent of feels?

They're both aware how they both dislike the current engagement. Arnav's overreaction to her engagement is not lost to either of them.

Your question does make sense, in fact @chutkiandchotte and I were talking about it today!

Best,

Jalebi

[tellywoodtrash]

Hey tellywoodtrash! How're you? I discovered your blog a few weeks ago and I must tell you I like reading your analysis :) if you could please tell me ( I am not aware if you have answered it before)what were uncalled for moments in ipkknd which you think could have been avoided. Thank you!

Hi anon!

Thanks for the blog love. :)

I’m not sure what exactly you mean by “uncalled for” moments, but I’m interpreting it as those moments *I* personally feel were unnecessary to the narrative of the show, adding nothing to the plot. There are plenty of things that happen in the show that I don’t agree with, but they’re in-line with the established characters, or necessary for the plot to go forward, so I won’t regard those.

(It’s been a while since I watched the show, so these are just what came to mind immediately. There may be more that I don’t recall right now.)

I severely disliked the scene where Arnav drops Khushi from the upper floor, in the AR offices. He was being horrible enough and the dynamic between the two characters had already been established without that added bit of violence. It’s brushed off as haha nothing much, but dropping someone from a whole upper storey is not something small? It could have led to paralysis at the very least? I just really hate that scene.

The many scenes where Arnav leaves bruises on Khushi. IPK is the first, and I think only show to actually show the bruises pretty consistently. Not that I don’t think the other 4 Lions men didn’t actually hurt the women when they did their grabbing schtick, but it’s just especially horrifying to be constantly confronted by physical reminders of the abuse that’s going on here, and being passed off as “angsty romance”.

The suicide track. Utterly distasteful how the show tried to play it off as comedy. I found nothing funny about it.

Similar to the above, the track where Arnav kept trying to force a suhaag raat onto Khushi, and the show kept playing it off as comedy. There was absolutely nothing funny about how he was trying to emotionally manipulate her into sex and then got mad at her and had a shitfit when she expressed reservations.

That infernal half-consummation/whatever-the-fuck scene in the hut, while they were on the run from the kidnappers. It was veryyyyyyy zabardasti se ghusaaya hua just to appease the tharki audience (who were getting antsy at the lack of romance in the show at that point, since Sobti was off shooting his movie), and it was very obvious that this was being done purely for fan-appeasement. The actors looked uncomfortable, the characters were acting very out-of-character, it’s just an all round fucking mess that I didn’t find romantic or even necessary/appropriate at that point.

Anything after the Sheetal reveal. The show should have ended with that. A happy Diwali, after they formally adopted Aarav. That’s it.

[flotonki]

War of beach 2017 tips

WAR OF BEACH 2017 TIPS FULL

WAR OF BEACH 2017 TIPS LICENSE

Tourism generates income and employment for cities, and thanks to tourism the liveliness and liveability in cities is boosted because many shops, services and facilities would not exist without that additional customer base. In the cities, holiday travel is more than 80 per cent higher than in the countryside. Data from the German Reiseanalyse, an annual survey on holiday travel in Germany ( Schmücker et al., 2016), suggest that in 2014, 31 per cent of the population and 33 per cent of German holiday makers were at home in cities with more than 100,000 inhabitants. Recently, the discussion has shifted to where a large proportion of tourists go: from and to the European cities. Yet, the focus of the discussion has shifted over the last decades: from tourism to developing countries, residents of villages in the Alps which have found themselves into ski-circuses, or greenlanders suffering from the rush of cruise ships. On the other hand, such conflicts and the discussion about it are neither new nor limited to large cities. Here, only a careful analysis of the actual situation would help. However, the humming-up of media may occasionally obscure the difference between actual conflicts perceived in the population and what interested actors in the media make of it. During the past few years various media have reported on incidents, residents protests and the like. The rise of the so-called sharing economy has recently added an additional facet to the discussion. The direct and indirect effects of this increase in visitor numbers seem to cause an increase in annoyance among residents, which could lead to conflicts between tourists, tourism suppliers and inhabitants. Based on its World Tourism Monitor, IPK states that city tourism is the fastest growing market segment in tourism ( IPK International, 2016). Projections made by the World Tourism Organisation anticipate a growth to 1.8 billion international arrivals worldwide till 2030.

WAR OF BEACH 2017 TIPS FULL

The full terms of this licence may be seen at Anyone may reproduce, distribute, translate and create derivative works of this article (for both commercial and non-commercial purposes), subject to full attribution to the original publication and authors. This article is published under the Creative Commons Attribution (CC BY 4.0) licence. Published in the Journal of Tourism Futures.

WAR OF BEACH 2017 TIPS LICENSE

Ĭopyright © 2017, Albert Postma Dirk Schmuecker License (2017), "Understanding and overcoming negative impacts of tourism in city destinations: conceptual model and strategic framework", Journal of Tourism Futures, Vol. Besides it illustrates how data generated by social media (apps) can be used for such purposes. This study is an attempt to contribute to the understanding of the mechanism behind and the nature of those conflicts, and the way they can be managed and controlled. The ability to assess and deal with such conflicts is of importance for the way city tourism can develop in the future. As a consequence, conflicts between tourists, tourism suppliers and inhabitants can occur. City tourism has been growing in the last decades, in some cases dramatically.