#I remember a horrific amount of the first part of the story which is not much but any amount of traumatic

[delicateartisantrash]

Me: My eyes, glazing over the screen as I scroll through my feed.

My past: *pOPS OUT OF KRIFFING NOWHERE TO HAUNT ME*

good lord, that fanfic. it's a legend of it's own. I remember being just floored when I found out a friend of mine's friend was the one who re-uploaded that story to Fanfiction.net when it got taken down for being so... Beyond words, shall we say. Anyhow, she re-uploaded it, and provided us endless hours of amusement.

Friends and I in highschool used to laugh ourselves sick taking turns seeing who could read it out loud the longest with a straight face. I'm not sure I'm proud of the fact I excelled. The contained laughs were painful.

i hope ebony dark’ness dementia raven way, age 33, is enjoying the my chemical romance comeback and live tour,

[evolutionsvoid]

A notable character from a dream a while back that really stuck with me, so I just had to draw her and regale ya'll with the whole thing. I remember the dream fondly because A) it actually had like a coherent story and some neat encounters and B) it wasn't just horrific things happening to my body. So here we go, it's a long one!

The dream I had put in me in Japan, in a place where there was an insane amount of buildings and businesses, the whole place was jam packed, to the point where pretty much every place was the size of a single room and interconnected with the other businesses around them. I remember there being a tiny restaurant that served buns, and five feet away from your table was a sign and door for a pawnshop. Cramped movie theaters connected to weird art rooms, where colors flowed over wall, floor and ceiling. The setting was modern, with a touch of extra future. Made me think of those future overpopulated cities where everything and everyone is stacked atop one another. (The reason I think it was set in Japan is because my sister was currently there for her honeymoon. In fact, I recall seeing them there at the hot bun restaurant.)

As for me, the character I was was traveling through the city in secret with an older raggedy man who was like a mentor to me. Like your typical duo of lowlifes, where he was the tired, run ragged man who has seen it all, and I was the naive younger fellow that he had taken under his wing. We were moving through the city, for what reason I don't know, but it was obvious that we were trying to lay low. This particular city was currently occupied by two major gangs who were locked in an endless power struggle. I don't recall the name of these criminal organizations, but I did know who ran each. One side was run by someone called Lord Hollow, and the other was King Consort. Each side wanted full rule of this city, but they couldn't ever get the momentum to run the other side out. This led to frequent skirmishes between the two, which the people were so used to they never even batted an eye. (Funny enough, right before bed that night I was playing Dishonored 2 and the level I ended on literally had two gangs locked in a power struggle.)

For the people in the city, these fights were hardly a concern, more of an annoyance and sometimes a spectacle. People just moved on with their day, because these two had been going at each other for so long with no progress, that everyone knew nothing would change. While we were weaving between businesses and buildings, we witnessed two groups of effigies moving through the neon-soaked building that had been sent out by Lord Hollow for a hit. Each had the crowd parting ways to let them through, not out of fear, but more knowing to let them pass and that is how these things got over the fastest. The first group that we saw were human statues carved out of wood. They had a dark color them and a clear stain, and they were a mix of effigy and human, almost anatomically correct, but with some simplicities and odd runic flares. I recall that the way that they were carved, with the clear finish making their grain stand out boldly, it looked like these statues were flayed. They slid across the floor silently, with a few arms and legs moving slowly and uselessly. Despite their looks, everyone knew they were out to off someone working for King Consort.

The other group of effigies were also carved out of wood, dark wood again, but these were shaped to look like movie monsters. They weren't full standing, but more curled in a ball form, like what you would see if you caught one in a pokeball. I recall seeing one that was carved to look like the Creature from the Black Lagoon and a Frankenstein's Monster. The funniest line I remember from the dream was from the crowd watching these things slide by, as one unseen person said aloud: "Oh look, they have a Bagul!" (that is the demon from the Sinister movies)

We stayed back and let them pass by, as we wanted to keep out of sight. What I later picked up on from my mentor is that he was on the run from King Consort, having done something to screw that mob boss over. He had been running and hiding for years, but for some reason he had to come back to this city now, and thus was in danger. I don't know why we were there, but it was obvious we had to keep our head down. However, eventually, I got separated from him in the tetris-like layout of these endless interconnecting buildings. I remember running around trying to find him, but wound up getting super lost. Unsurprisingly, when we got separated, King Consort's men nabbed my mentor and made off with him. I don't recall how I learned this, but I immediately ran out to find him.

The only thing I thought to do was go to King Consort's headquarters, as obviously my mentor would be taken there. Funny enough, I recall it being equally cramped and claustrophobic, as even these powerful gangs couldn't get that expansive of real estate. Though I came to this place as a stranger and outsider, no one gave me any guff. None of the guards or members were hostile to me, as they knew I wasn't with Lord Hollow and King Consort seemed to have no animosity towards those who weren't actively working against them. I was let in, and I demanded to see the King, which they took me to. King Consort was at the top of a weird medieval esque tower cobbled from bricks and rusty metal shacks, and that too was incredibly tight space wise. I remember climbing stairs with practically both shoulders touching the walls. Which made it odd when I got up top to the open air area atop the tower and finally saw King Consort.

King Consort was about 8 to 10 feet tall, and as wide as a car, so how they moved down these stairs was a mystery. But the thing was, King Consort wasn't a person, they were pretty much a mech. Or more so, she was a mech. Her appearance was the cross between a heavily armored woman and a fortress, mechanized into this living weapon systems. She was mostly red with gold trim. Her head had a crown-like arrangement, and sitting amongst the spires of it was a very small being who was dressed in kingly robes, wore a crimson featureless mask, a crown of his own and a royal scepter he waved around. Though I couldn't see much of him beneath this mask and robes, I got the impression he was a robot too. From his sitting point, the wild gestures and scepter waving he did, one would get the impression that he was ordering around this bulky mech. But what I soon realized is that the mech was King Consort and the little king atop really wasn't in charge.

King Consort appeared to be almost built into the tower itself, her huge bulk nearly crushing the metal and brick around her. However, when I finally got to the top to meet her, she was starting to become mobile, tearing free from her surroundings and standing tall. I later got the impression that my mentor had stolen or ran off with some key component to her, which left her in a powered down immobile state. My first thought was that he had been hired by her to fetch this piece that would bring her to full function, but changed his mind upon getting it and fled. They had caught him, tortured him then imprisoned him, and I never saw him again for the rest of the dream. With the part finally given back to her, she was now fully active, and her first order of business was to finish off this feud with Lord Hollow. Though I had been an associate of the man who robbed her, she had no ill will towards me, pretty  much shouldering past me on her way down the tower with an aura of "sorry you picked the wrong guy to follow." It should be noted that she never spoke during the dream, and I wonder if she was even capable of speech, getting the impression the king guy atop did all the translating and talking.

How she got down at such a size, I have no clue, but I remember following her and her posse as they gathered up to take down Lord Hollow's operations. When we finally got there, we were now in a train rail yard, with abandoned train cars strewn about and some building in the center where Lord Hollow resided. His men and effigies came racing out to stop King Consort and her men, but she activated her weapons system and pretty much decimated them. There was zero fight to be had. I don't even remember her men doing a thing to help, she was just obliterating everyone who came out to face her.

Finally, Lord Hollow came out from the building, and he was revealed to be pretty much the Headless Horseman. He wore a haunted looking garb, like a mix of warlock robes and a business suit. He had the pumpkin head with toothy, evil glowing face but the head was much larger than the rest of his body, like it stretched to his shoulders and was more flatter than round. When he came out, I got the impression he was a magic man, and this was a case of tech vs magic (obviously seen in his living wood effigies). He appeared to be a formidable opponent, but with King Consort at full power, he was helpless. He tried to run from her as soon as he realized the battle was lost, but she didn't let him get away. She single handedly grabbed a train car and rammed it into him, crushing him between two cars. (Though he died like a videogame NPC, staying fully intact but ragdolling as he was pinned between the two objects). With Lord Hollow down, his gang was finished and King Consort claimed victory.

I either blacked out or forgot what happened between, but I found myself at a bar the next morning. I was amongst other patrons at the bar, who were watching the TV and chatting about the power upset. Both were about King Consort completely taking over the city, ruling unopposed. It was from the broadcast that it was confirmed that King Consort was the mech and not the tiny king riding in her crown. I recall seeing an image of her deconstructed, where only her upper half was present, standing on her arms as her ribcage ended in nothing. I believe it was a photo from when she was building her body. From the way people were talking, her gaining her full power was pretty much a disastrous upset. As someone said "She is ruling this city now, but forget that, it won't be long til she's ruling the world." The funny detail I remember was I chimed in confused at some point, because I didn't know how to interpret her gender. "So King Consort, should I call them he, she or they?" As I was thrown off by the mech woman and little king guy atop her, not knowing which to refer to. The reply was "Her. She's a woman." And I was like "good to know, thanks."

The last bit I remember from the dream was trying to find my mentor again, as I somehow knew he wasn't dead, just imprisoned. So I went back to King Consort's base to sneak in and break him out. Though everyone had no issue with me, I kept hidden and tried to stealth around the place, as I knew my mission wouldn't be well received. To figure out where my mentor was being held, I wound up sneaking into King Consort's maintenance room, and accidentally finding she was currently in there getting tuned up. I didn't see her, as I was still near the entrance hiding behind a wall, but I could see the light of sparks flickering and the shadow of mechanical arms working and welding. At that point, a guard came in through the front doors and spotted me, and the dream ends with me being caught. And that is that!

------------------------------------------

"King Consort"

This piece took me a long time to get around too, as I never draw tech stuff and am actually pretty bad at it, so I was hesitant to even start this drawing to begin with. But honestly, out of all the weird stuff in that dream, she stuck out a lot to me, and I kinda keep thinking about her from time to time. Partly because of her design, and also just because of the untold story surrounding her. Of how she wound up in that tower in a powered down and trapped state, unable to even move her own body. Leading one of the most powerful gangs, but not having the energy to even lift a finger. Relying on this little king guy to listen to the hum of her tired engines and sounds of her barely powered machinery to interpret her words and wants, who then relays it to her gang members. The vision of her stuck atop that tower, trapped in her own body, exposed to the elements and looking out over a city she should be able to claim as hers, but cannot in this weakened state. I think there is something neat there.

And also the moment the dream was over, I knew her design was Basically a mecha version of Hammer-chan.

[some-pers0n]

i watched emesis blue, very good, please ramble about it to me

You watched it??? That's so cool!! I'm so glad I was able to infect you and harass you into watching it by reblogging every single thing even tangentially related to it.

So, for the rambling part. Yeah. I'll probably just say first and foremost that Emesis Blue is probably my favourite thing to come out of this fandom. I can barely even begin to describe my love for this movie. It's something I wish goes down not just in TF2 history, but fandom in general as an example of how great fan content can be. It takes the mercs and throws them into a situation that I can only describe as 'nightmarish'.

That's another thing too. I remember once seeing a person describe the movie as a nightmare. I can't honestly think of a better description. It radiates this nonstop uneasiness and dread. No joke, the entire time I watched it I had this constant feeling of pressure in my chest. Even just thinking about Emesis Blue or the scenes in it brings it back. It's harder to breathe and I'm more alert.

I'm a horror enjoyer. I love horror. I've consumed a lot of horror.

Never has a piece of media created a feeling like that for me. The only thing that comes close is 'The Descent', which uses a similar tactic of darkness and constant dread.

But, if I go on more, I'll dip into spoiler territory. I cannot say it enough that watching this movie blind is the best experience. So, yeah. If by some means you haven't watched Emesis Blue, please do it. I know it's a horror movie and not a lot of people are into those, but I can't stress just how good it is. Please. It's free. You can watch it right now on YouYube.

Also, quick note. I was rewatching the movie while writing this and found your comment. Epic. My thoughts exactly as well.

So, let's start with me admitting something: I have not a single idea as to what's happening. I need a hour long story breakdown of this movie.

But, I can try to piece things together. In order to lay the groundwork. I could be wrong about several things, but this is how I think it goes.

Helix Technologies created the respawn machine. Jules Archibald sold it to both Redmond and Blutarch to play both sides of the war. However, the respawn machine is pretty bad and has the tendency to breakdown and cause the person it resurrects to come out...well, broken.

Scout (Jeremy) was one of these victims. The Medic (Fritz Ludwig) helps him out and around, even prescribing him these pills called 'Valium' (spoiler: they're actually the evil bad pills made by a sister company of Helix Technologies).

Medic is...not doing so hot, might I add. Because of some event, he's been prescribing himself the Valium. Though, he's haunted by hallucinations and whatnot. There's a theory that Medic was the one who killed Scout's mother, linking how the movie on the TV, 'M', is about a German murderer and how the director of the film's first name is 'Frtiz'.

Being honest? I thought from the start that Medic being the killer was a possibility, but refused to believe it if only because I thought it was obvious. M = Medic was my train of thought.

Anywho, something happens to Scout and Medic tosses himself into danger to try and save him.

Meanwhile, Soldier (Jane Doe) and Spy are on a mission to find Archibald since he's been kidnapped. Actually, the ploy was to have Archibald be faked kidnapped so that he wouldn't suffer the consequences from how the respawn machine is terrible, but we don't know that yet. They investigate the crime scene of Scout's mother and are led to Medic's office, where they eventually learn they need to go to the Conaghers.

Blah blah blah, the movie happens. Medic is having a bad time. Soldier meets up with the RED Demo (Cyclops as he's called here) and Spy has a funny little run-in with a Pyro and gets horribly burned in the process of escaping them. They all eventually meet up again after suffering through unprecedented amounts of horrific shit and play a nice round of Russian Roulette. Medic dies. Oh and also Archibald is dead because Spy figured out the ruse behind his plan.

They host a funeral for Archibald and Soldier is about to kill himself and the others with a grenade before Medic pops out and shoots Spy. He then goes on a wacky little killing spree and hops into an ambulance before then falling asleep at the wheel and crashing it, dying in the process.

What a silly story. I love it to bits.

Now with that out of the way, I wanna talk about some stuff that stands out to me.

Soldier's character is probably one of the best versions of him I've seen. He keeps that same 'Soldier TF2' charm to him, but he's brave. He's loyal. He stands by his friends in this hellish situation, never backing down or giving up. I also adore the flashback scene of him. The atmosphere of the war and trenches–

CAN I TALK ABOUT THE ATMOSPHERE TOO?? My GOD it's pristine!! The cinematography and the lighting and everything about it oozes with dread and fear. There are only a couple jumpscares in the movie, but by god I find the constant terror to be far more compelling. It's suffocating with how well its done.

The emotions and expressions too. One scene that's always been in my mind is the elevator scene. We see Medic cycle through his emotions. He's sobbing because Scout is dead and now he's stuck here. Then after being offered a cigarette, he perks up and starts laughing. It's haunting. I remember the chill that ran down my spine the first time I watched that scene. And minutes later with Medic pointing the gun to his head, about to kill himself, before putting it down and lashing out at his reflection.

Medic and his character in Emesis Blue is like my good ol' Medic TF2 blorbo, but in an opposite direction. Emesis Blue Medic is a husk of a man, his very soul and sanity being ripped from him a long while ago. He's not doing so well. I adore every single scene with him. You can see all of his fears and and emotions so clearly.

Have I also mentioned this is animated in SFM? Yeah, THAT nightmare of an animation software? I can't even begin to comprehend the amount of bugs and glitches Fortress Films had to endure. How many times entire scenes were corrupted and they had to restart. Just even knowing how much care and work the team put into this movie makes me respect it so much more. This is truly a work of passion and love for the game and its community, delivering something that's beyond words.

The sound design is another aspect I don't see really talked about. It's really good. Take the scene in Scout's home for example, with the TV playing and the droning from the phone. It's haunting.

It's just an incredible movie. It's why I think psychological horror is the best form of horror. It relies less on big scary monsters with sharp claws and axes being the main source of fear. Rather, it focuses on when those monsters will show up. It grips you with dread and refuses to let go. It never gives you that relief that comes with a jumpscare. The startling, yet comforting release never happens.

Emesis Blue also succeeds in a way that none of the characters make dumb choices. They do everything right, yet they still fail in the end. I feel that makes it more terrifying. When you do everything correctly, but it doesn't work out. It makes the situation all the more helpless. All of this mistakes happen at their own hubris, like with Spy trying to take a break by smoking a cigarette and ends up nearly burning to death.

I also love how it doesn't answer a lot of questions. Leaving the audience with a mystery and the ability to theorize on stuff is lovely. What is the masked figure? Why are there seemingly elements of time distortion? How much is a hallucination and how much of it is real? All those sort of things.

But, yeah. I love Emesis Blue. I love it a lot. It's not just a TF2 animation. It's a genuine horror movie. I've seen multi-million dollar Hollywood movies that pale in comparison to this. It shows that talent and storytelling can come from anywhere and could be simply amazing. The fact that I can watch this on YouTube for free feels off. I feel like I should be paying Fortress Films or giving them something for their work.

But, I guess praise and a couple fanfics is good enough. Very rarely does a work move me enough to actually make fanworks. I get ideas, but never write them down.

So, those are my bigger thoughts on it. I'll just list a couple more.

-I refuse to believe that Scout's name isn't a reference to Jerma985. His name on the report is 'Jeremy. E', like Jeremy Elbertson

-When I was first watching through it, my stupid god-forsaken Science Party-obsessed brain thought: "Ooh! Medic and Engie are together! :D" when Medic came into the Conaghers. Then then they started fighting it turned into: "Oh no, they're going to kill each other D:"

-The scene of Soldier trying to get through the countless corpses of himself feels like something out of a cosmic horror and I love it

-I think this movie made me understand Freedom Fries more

-Cyclops's death ruined me RIP my buddy

-That weird Scout monster thing was terrifying

-I am obsessed with Stalingrad and the other resurrected mercs. They're so cool

-Emesis Blue is a great example as to why 2Fort is a horrific map

-That scene of Medic with gouged-out eyes and chipped teeth smiling and staring at the camera makes my blood run cold every single time. I cannot overstate just how much I love that scene

-They gave Demo a pistol finally I'm so happy <3

-I am a massive sucker for Pyro headcanons where they're justed a fucked up and inhuman monster and Emesis Blue scratched that itch. Following up on that, I love how Pyro's face is the same as that one Half-Life 2 zombie model. You know the one. The one that's of a genuine real burn corpse? Good times

-When Spy got burned, I genuinely thought that he would eventually become the Pyro through some weird time distortion shenanigans. I still believe in that theory too, honestly

-I actually really like how it uses the TF2 characters since you're already familiar with them and my intense love for them makes me care about them a thousand times more

-People who complain about the movie tossing in references have no idea what fun or thematic parallels are

-Medic spitting out his teeth in the end could either be a reference to Scout's nightmare at the beginning or to how Medic's teeth are literally falling out in real time. Maybe both. It could be both

-What in gods name is in that briefcase I need to know

[paragonrobits]

some fun facts about Spider-Man 2099:

He’s probably older as a character than you might think; he was first published in August 1992, and was created by Peter David (who is likely most well known among Marvel fans for, alongside Greg Pak, being the biggest contributor to some of the Hulk’s best stories)

He’s not a standalone character. Miguel O’hara is part of the Marvel 2099 sub-continuity, which can be best described as a cyberpunk dystopia spinning off after a bad future for the rest of the Marvel universe as a whole. It is very much in the model of a standard cyberpunk setting with corporations running the world into the ground and oppressing people in the name of profit. In this era, there have been no superheroes and most of them are remembered only as vague stories that people desperately want to believe in, or iconic folklore that people really behind.

In this regard, it may also be possible to view O’hara as a contrast to Spider-Punk, who also comes from a dystopia oppressed by corporations, though they ultimately have broadly opposite reactions to it.

Miguel is notable for having a great deal of differences from the ‘average’ Spider-Man incarnation, with a great deal of purely physical alterations that are otherwise not very typical in spider powers.

His best friend is an AI, whom was seen glimpsed at the end of Into The Spiderverse

He arguably has a very important role in Spider-Man history; while Miles Morales has definitely eclipsed his fame and become a part of the main Marvel universe, Miguel was significantly more popular than the other 2099 stories and remained fairly well known across comics at the time, which also ties into his cameo in Into The Spiderverse; he arguably had the most amount of importance as a Spider-Man legacy character before Miles, and was the most prominent non-Parker incarnation, even moreso than Mayday Parker.

There was a short-lived animated series called Spider-Man Unlimited that I always interpreted as an attempt to adapt aspects of Miguel O’Hara, though the most it has in common is that the suit Spider-Man wears in it looks an awful lot like Miguel’s look; its otherwise not very much like 2099 at all, besides a cyberpunk angle, and features a displaced Peter Parker.

There is likely some interesting angles in comparing and contrasting the respective settings of Miles’ original world (the Ultimate universe) and Miguel’s. Miguel is, as noted, fundamentally a cyberpunk character, and was technically one of the more positive characters in it, a true hero in a world of bleak despair amid corporate control; while there were other heroes, there weren’t enough, and things were bad enough that Doctor Doom popping up to take over the world made him seem like an anti-hero at worst. In contrast, Miles was one of the few purely positive figures in the Ultimate setting, which in its attempts to imitate the likes of the Authority often depicted classic Marvel heroes in horrific ways; the Hulk was often implied to be a sexually violent cannibal, Wolverine tried to sleep with an underage girl, Carol Danvers gets downright enthusiastic at the prospect of torturing an alien who had been her friend.. even Miles’ dad was an anti-mutant bigot. Miles himself, though, was a whole and genuine hero (if a reluctant one) who was one of the few truly noble people in the setting, so there’s an element in their conflict here.

[fictionkinfessions]

Anyways double confession here is me ranting like crazy about the amount of shit I remember, whether through it being a part of my original lore my creator made or through my own formed memories

(TW: Rape, (pseudo)incest, injury/limb loss, abuse, abuse of autistic people for the way they act/period-typical ableism, grooming, period-typical homophobia)

ANYWAYS. I am a TMA oc, that's my first statement.

Im technically immortal/ageless, and my creator started my story largely in 1900s. I met Jonah at a party my parents had forced me to, and due to being drunk and incredibly lonely due to the fact I was a a hotdog magician and had not really been capable of getting into any of kind of relationship. We ended up becoming very close to each other and he gave me a way to properly go no-contact with my parents which was a big feat.

I'd also lost one of my childhood lovers to the Church, as they'd found out and killed him so yyayyy.. /s

Jonah was to say the least a terrible fucking person, and had raped me before as well as just generally being physically abusive, though I was no better and equally as bad. He also often would restrain me during meltdowns I would have from overstimulation, which was shitty smh,,, terrible terrible man

At some point we were really stupid and ended up getting hunted by,, well Hunters, and we made it out relatively okay besides my right arm being ripped off (FUCK MY CREATOR FOR FORCING ME TO BE LEFT HANDED IT WAS THE 1900s BITCH)

ANYWAYS Uh

Another thing in my source was that Avatars were technically entirely separate from Humans in a way, and when you begin to become an Avatar you are considered a "child" by Avatar standards, and can be in a way "imprinted" on by Older Avatars making you effectively their child in a way. I stuck around with Jonah despite the way he treated me even up to him being Elias, and I would often bring Jon messages from Elias(Jonah) whenever he needed me to. I was pretty much seen as Elias's "Helper" in a way.

Whenever Jon had begun becoming an Avatar, I guess the best way to describe my reaction was maternal?? I felt really bad he was being left to flounder, and accidentally 'imprinted' on him in a way. I did the same to Martin a long while later when he was starting to isolate himself due to Peter, and then later went ahead and told both of them. Except I also often flirted with both of them and sometimes very explicitly, so add that and the fact that by all technicalities, at least in Avatar terms, they were my children.. yeah it was a bit strange.

Despite this I did end up in a weird form of relationship with those two so. Yay?

Anyways I love how my entire source is just horrifically "Problematic" (in the eyes of certain ppll….) and I also get to bully the fuck out of The Archivist for making me Oh and I'm FUCKING FRENCH IN MY SOURCE

Good lord sorry for dumping all that here LORDY I forgot how bad it was

(TMA OC Fictive)

[weebsinstash]

Since I was telling you guys about The Silent Alpha (listening to it on DreameFM), i figured I might share a little on the first book in the series, The Ivory Queen? I actually think both stories are quality and was mostly juat gossiping on all the juicy drama parts haha

The Ivory Queen is about a Mexican-American girl named Aurora Montenegro who's father Emiliano is killed by rogue wolves on her 13th birthday, and when her pack finds her with the body they immediately blame her. Since your 13th birthday is your first shift, they automatically assume she went feral and killed her father, and the entire pack, the Lluvia Blanca pack, spends the next 5 years absolutely torturing her, even by her mother and siblings. She's beaten up, kept in a basement, denied proper food, forced to work as a slave, and denied ever being able to shift which makes her incredibly weak on top of already being malnourished. This isnt even to touch on stuff like, "oh her brother Chava once locked her in a closet and used his illusion powers to make her see rogues like the ones who killed her father and left her like that for hours and then he dragged her out covered in her own piss and shit because she'd literally been losing control of her bladder and bowels in terror after being in there so long and he dragged her in front of other people and then everyone mocked her during this extremely traumatizing experience and after the fact some of them literally threw diapers at her, for MONTHS". Like. jesus fucking christ dude. Kill all of them maybe? Like Im starting to adore the idea of a Reader who was horrifically abused and just goes "fuck this high horse bullshit, hey new mate, you're a powerful wolf and you love me? Kill these bitches to prove it. Make them suffer"

When Aurora finally meets her mate, Alpha Olivier of River Moon Pack, he rejects her because he recognizes her and has heard all the awful rumors, but soon, he actually regrets his decision and vows that he wants to see who she really is and they team up to not only get her away from her abusive pack and family, solve the mystery of her father's death, but also discover an even deeper plot of a looming war, a prophecy, and the truth surrounding her heritage

The story is not only well written and well voice acted but also contains decent amounts of representation (like Olivier is French, and he has his pack cook traditional Mexican food for Aurora when she first arrives which literally makes her sob with gratitude because she hasn't had home cooked Mexican food since before her father died) and also naturally covers subjects like women's rights and things are written in a mature and realistic tone (like another conversation with a Luna named Kehlani opening up that she felt like her breasts were too low and far apart after giving birth, and it's like God that is such an actual realistic female struggle. a lot of these other authors just kind of, idk, some of these stories are like comparing potato chips to a full course meal kwim? Emotional journeys vs popcorn literature YA novels)

Oh. I will say though. One of the horrible things to happens to Aurora is that she is and had been sexually assaulted by another member of this pack and this does happen in written detail so, if that is triggering for you you may need to skip any interactions with that character (who's name i can't remember but you'll be able to tell because he's openly creepy and before the assault happens Aurora already let's the reader know, he's a guy who "does unspeakable things to me I can't talk about")

Like it is very dark. She gets knocked out and wakes up with her attacker already on top of her, already in the midst of it while she was blacked out, and interestingly, this is a story where the mate bond also transfers pain, so, Olivier experiences the pain of, well, being an assaulted woman, and that deepens his love, respect, and sympathy for Aurora and her strength to survive. But I also don't like that Aurora also had to lowkey provide comfort to Olivier for something that happened to her after the fact, like it isn't like forced upon her ,she wants to comfort him, but it's like... that happened to HER, idk, Olivier getting attention for the issue makes me feel kinda weird

Either way it's a cute story about finding love and acceptance when you feel like you have nowhere you belong and feel like everyone hates you and sees you as nothing. A nice read and a nice story, albeit a little long ^^;

[lunasohma]

an occupational hazard

[ ao3 / ff.net ]

In which Natori expresses a valid concern and Matoba keeps up appearances.

Why Matoba insists on pressing them through these torturous formalities, Natori cannot say.

The conversation, rather mundane small talk, leaves him feeling ill at ease and now even Matoba's expression verges on bored.

Not that he feels he can ever correctly gauge the other man's mood.

As he casts about for something more to say, he sees it.

The incident had been recounted to him by a friend (who had heard it from their cousin, whose colleague had heard of it from someone else and so on it goes with these kinds of stories). Horrific, really.

When he finishes:

"Oh, how interesting." Matoba does not sound the least bit interested.

"A rumor, maybe," he hesitantly amends, feeling a bit lame.

"Maybe," the other echoes. Then, "Would you like some more tea?"

Natori picks up the cup he hasn't touched in over an hour, drains it viciously.

"No, thank you."

Matoba eyes him, the beginning of a smile playing on his lips. Benevolence with a hint of teeth.

"Now, Natori-san, if you're really that worried..."

Not for the first time, Natori tries and fails to remember why he feels any sense of moral obligation around this man.

"Oh, just forget it."

A part of him is tempted to leave his payment behind, however illogical. He curses his luck. Why couldn't it have been Nanase? He'd have been out of here already instead of spending the better part of an hour trying to exchange niceties with Matoba Seiji.

Muttering a ‘thanks’ under his breath, he turns to leave.

-

"I do appreciate the concern," he calls, by all appearances a lazy afterthought, when Shuuichi is at the door. He gives a quick nod of acknowledgment, then he's gone. The door closes softly behind him.

Seiji counts the win.

Were Shuuichi's eyes really that bad? There could be something funny about this.

His fingers trace the hairline fractures and his nails catch where the shell had split completely. Ink and something thicker had seeped through the cracks for days without end. The ink remains as does the stain on the floor. No amount of scrubbing could lift it from the grain.

He should have the floor redone.

At his proximity, the remaining gears stutter with a slow tick tick tick. A strained, plastic whine grows louder as the lingering presence rises through the mechanism.

Pressing his palm flat against the surface, he answers the same as he always has.

Herein lies a bit of a puzzle. Were he a different sort of person, he might have asked his opinion. Papers and inks and all.

His shadow, cast long by the afternoon sun, swallows the stain up in the blink of an eye. Seiji rests his chin on his hand. If only it could be so easy.

[msvorderofoperations]

New dream journal.

This one was a very strange one, and pretty disturbing.

I was watching a horror anthology series that had some elements of video games in them, in that you had some amount of choice at certain parts of the story. The thing of it was though, they were all shot through a first person perspective, and every single one ended with your death, often in very upsetting ways.

One of the stories involved being a masterful expert of this scripted on-rails shooter game (think House of the Dead, but a lot more slick and stylish). It then transitioned to living in the real world while still having a gun, and how people were terrified of you because you were open carrying, and how the quick reflexes you exhibit in the game meant that you are a hairs breadth away from shooting random people just because they made an unexpected noise. And because it felt like this was a series I had watched many times before, I remembered that one of the least upsetting ways to die in this particular setting was to just turn the gun on yourself. It wouldn't even be enough to kill you right away, but it meant that your suffering was a lot more brief than it would be otherwise.

Another of the stories involved being in a run down industrial setting, and each variation of the story ended with you being pulled into some machinery, and being slowly ground to death. The real kicker with that one was, no matter how safe and cautious you were, sometimes the opening of an industrial shredder would open up beneath your feet, or a person you were talking to would transform into some gnashing set of pistons or the like.

At some point, it felt as if I had become so familiar with the ways in which you die and the occasional shared elements of these stories that this was a series that I loved, and was part of a community of watchers. In talking it out with other fans, we were re-watching because we were both trying to unravel the mystery of this show, and prep for a forthcoming second season. In the rewatch however, we noticed that the default set of actions (ie where you do nothing and just let the story happen) were a lot less scary overall. It seemed that they had edited the show to be less initially disturbing, but the endings were all every bit as horrific.

But because I eventually started feeling overwhelmed (even in the context of the dream, much less how I felt once I actually woke up) I just started watching with my eyes closed. While I was familiar with how a lot of it ended, removing the visual component softened how distressing the whole affair was. But only barely.

Other stories involved being at a LAN party where a everyone was playing this comic book superhero based tactical game that was somewhere between XCOM and Payday. But after only a few rounds, everyone leaves, and then as you search for them to find out why they left, you find each person has been killed in a horrific way by one of the more ineffectual villains from the game. And then the story always ends with you hearing the villain's distinctive laugh, and then you (as a powerless vanilla human in the real world) are brutalized in a similarly fucked up way as all of the people you found.

Eventually I woke up enough to recognize that as all being a dream, but given the narrative's tendency to repeat ad nauseum, I opted to stay awake rather than try going back to bed.

[nopity-nope]

ok so i just got back from a funeral, which is just great all things considered, and now the internet gets to hear my thoughts and opinions. i desperately need to get these outta my head somehow they've turned into goop. also spoilers for Saltburn.

i knew before i started watching that the movie was fucked up and that one of the main characters was honestly insane cuz of the bathtub scene, which id seen before eons ago, but i couldnt remember who it was. i honestly spent the first half of the movie UP UNTIL THE ACTUAL BATHTUB SCENE trying to figure out who the major psychopath was. honeslty, first five minutes into the flashback or whatever I was like "mmmm yeah Oliver is defintely giving psycho serial vibes, he seems like on of those loners who'd snap and shootup a school" which was either good hut instincts on my part or really good subtle forwhadowing on the movies part. like they make oliver seem really awkward on purpose, and later on he absolutely feels unsettling at times, so they couldve totally given us small hints. but on the other hand i really wasnt expecting some of the unhinged shit until after it happened, cuz they did a good job giving us surprises, that it mightve been gut instincts and the fact i was looking for a psycho.

but even after initially suspecting Oliver, i was honestly expecting felix to be the freak. at the beginning, Felix seems like a normal mega rich dude, and like there's the envy and admiration but he seemed normal, nice and whatever. but after they get to saltburn i was like "oh yikes, this is 100% giving rich people who hunt peasants for sport and are members of an evil blood cult vibes" and i was convinced that felix was the psycho. the opulence, the lack of care for other people, the complete removal from normal society, plus implying that Oliver's a toy for felix and that this has happened before, and the reference to going insane soon, it all screamed evil rich people. i honestly thought the story was gonna be how felix lured a poor lil loner to his big bad house, did horrific things to him, and then discarded him once Ollie was broken. up until the actual bathtub scene, i kept flipflopping between who i thought the psycho was, meaning i was still caught off guard. also that scene was a thousand times worse then what i was expecting even tho i knew what happens. absolutely gross.

Saltburn is actually a really good horror movie, even though it technically isn't considered a psychological horror (tho it should be), because the entire movie was horrifying. And it was horrifying for two really different reasons imo! The first third/half is horrifying because its a little too realistic, its awkward, it makes you cringe and face some harsh realities that you dont want to. Movies are supposed to be a type of escapism, so why is it so real. Olivers awkward, he's a normal person suddenly thrust into the world of rich people and its soooo obvious that he doesn't belong. he dresses a little too formal, he doesn't have that many friends, he doens't really socialise. While everyone else is at Oxford because they're parents are rich and this is just a normal Uni where they can goof off and get the experience they want, Oliver worked hard to get what he has and he desperately wants to succeed, he needs to do well, even though you can tell that it doesn't matter, in the end no one cares. And then there's the scene at the pub, where he cant afford to buy the others drinks, and its horrifying being the poorest in the group, and having people who could never understand judge you. and there are a bunch of other little scenes that make you cringe when coming face to face with them, but i feel like it all culminates with the eggs. being in a situation that's a completely different world then what youre used to, and then breaking rules you didn't even know existed. honestly the egg scene is just as bad as some of the others in terms of the amount of visceral emotions it made me feel, tho unlike the others this made me feel, idk different i cant name it. some mix of empathy and pity and disgust and rage. and i cant believe that Felix didnt warn his friend, he shoudlve known this would happen.

the second half of the movie, after Oliver carves a little space out for himeslf in Saltburn, is horrifying in the traditional sense in that it made me feel a terrible mix of shock, disgust, and judgement. after the first half all the outlandish, ourageous bullshit felt even more vivid. contrast or smt maybe.

After the bathtub scene, i was like "ok so Ollies in love with Felix, hes just absolutetly fucking clinically insane about it". which fair, Jacob Elordi is so hot. Id never do all that. but at least the psycho has good taste. adn then the sex scene between Ollie and Venetia happens which. one, gross. like ew fuck what's wrong with both of you. also Ollie, Vee, what are you doing. but i was still like "ok so Ollies in love with Felix hes just going about it the worst way possible". and then ollie kills felix, which was obvious from the get go cause we know this mans a sociopath, and i did honestly still think that Ollie loved felix in some way. even tho at the end he says he hated felix, he hated them all, i do genuinely think a part of him loved them. at some point, when James is kicking Oliie out after Venetia's funeral, i thought "oh maybe ollies been after the mom the entire time" and it wasn't until the very end that i was like "ooooooooooh he wanted the HOUSE, not the mom, ok then". im not sure if the grave scene made me lean for or against ollie loving felix in some capacity, cause on one hand you wouldnt fuck the grave if there was nothing between you, but on the other hand you wouldnt fuck the grave if you actually loved them. such a fucked up scene, it did not need to be that long. in the end i think the entire thing was Oliver exerting power over Felix, because at last Felix is powerless and Oliver can do whatever he wants. the entire movie has a really strong homoerotic undertone to it but i think that's cuz Ollie wants us to think he's in love with Felix (or loved felix but wasn't in love with him i guess) until the end.

speaking of slightly fucked up things involving venetia, its really funny to me how shes like "you're just a toy to felix" to oliver, considering that's how Oliver treats her, felix, and farleigh. once he gets his footing, hes just playing with them all summer like dolls, setting up little scenes and enjoying them. but then farleigh starts to ruin his little game, so he gets rid of farliegh and tries to keep playing. but then felix ruins it so he gets rid of felix. and he tries to keep playing but farleigh comes and tries to ruin it again so he gets rid of him for good. and the venetia doesn't play along so he gets rid of her too until all his dolls are broken. and then he gets to play with elspeth one final time at the end before she's gone and he gets to keep the dollhouse.

and about farleigh. i feel like in any other story, from any other perspective, id really enjoy his character, but thats just not what happens. i love how hes set up as the antagonist, even tho hes not one of the two main characters. from the very first meeting, were made to not like him and hes set up as ollie opposite, to an extent. he shows up really late to an academic advising session and gets off completely scott free because of who his family is and the fact that the prof knew his mom. in fact the prof likes him more then oliver despite everything. farleigh later mocks ollies essay, which the teacher aggrees with, and soon we see that these sessions turn into farleigh and the prof chatting while ollie sits there. during the bar scene i menioned ealrier its farleigh that pressures ollie into buying drinks despite probably knowing he cant afford them and then is disdainful when felix tells farleigh to lay off oliver. time and time again throughout the movie we see farleigh is against oliver and keeps trying to put him down. which is interesting cuz, just like how "poor dear pamela" and oliver are sort of mirror images or parralels of one another, oliver and farleigh are also mirrors. despite technically being family, farleigh is just as dependent on the cattons' goodwill for all nice things and is also at the mercy of their whims. and tho we dont hear from him again, hes presumably the only other main character besides oliver to survive till the end.

this is all really incoherent so sorry. i had/have more thoughts but im honeslty tired now

just watched saltburn, gimme a couple hours to create a thought

but also wtf

[sunshineistyping]

The Fear Known As

Anthropophobia

‘The Fear Known As ____’

is a series in which a girl goes exploring with her best friend in an abandon megaplex and ends up discovering a broken animatronic. She decides to make it her job to fix the thing she has brought into their home.

———————————————————————

Part Three > The Fear Known As Heliophobia

———————————————————————

Pairing: Sunnydrop/Moondrop x Fem!Reader

Au: Abandoned Au

Warnings Are On The Masterlist

This is NOT your normal Sunny, and I don’t want him to be like his original self. He’s been abandoned for years after all.

———————————————————————

The ride back home has been one of the most interesting ones you’ve ever shared with Gregory. The entire car filled with your shared excited chatter. I mean, can you blame him for being excited? Of course not since you’re just as excited! You can’t remember the last time you found a bot this close to being complete, let alone one as intricate as this. The idea that you’d be able to look around at its inner workings made you light up with an unfathomable amount of joy. You’d also be able to try sewing, the sun thing needed new clothes anyway, right? So you might as well find a fabric that fits it’s theme and work with what you have. The drive home wasn’t long and finally you managed to bring the bot inside and put him on your special ‘operating table’.

“Gregory, I’m gonna need a lot of cleaning wipes and my paints.”

“The acrylic ones?”

“The acrylic airbrush ones yes, and I’ll also need a thin paintbrush with my gold paint, you know what? Bring the silver too.” You watched him leave for a moment before turning to the large robot on your table.

“Alright big guy, let’s open you up huh?” You mumbled to yourself as you walked over to your shelf of materials. You grabbed the acetone you’d used for previous projects and some paper towels. If this substance really was glue, this should work just fine. You began to search around your drawers before finally finding some gloves to slip on. This cleaning process was going to be messy.

“I got the stuff you asked for!” He placed everything on the little stand beside the table, making sure to keep everything organized for you. You grinned at him and gestured for him to come over. Once he saw the acetone and paper towels he knew right away what you were going to do first.

“Do you wanna help me out?”

“How?”

“I need you to find some fabric that will match him, my wallet is in my jacket. Make sure that it’ll really look good, I don’t mind if you spend a lot. This guy just needs to look pristine.”

“Yes ma’am!” You almost laugh as Gregory scurries over to the jacket you’d left on one of the many chairs in this garage. Your eyes immediately going back down to the acetone and towels. You poured a little at a time and began wiping. You were being as gentle as possible, trying not to mess anything up or damage any possible paint. After a while his chest cavity finally snapped open, his insides looked horrific. There was damage to his voice box, his main core was hanging on by a wire and clearly broken. The few wires that looked healthy weren’t connected to anything. The various gears and bolts he needed were either missing or damaged. This was clearly intentional, something had gone into this robot and ripped out its internals. Though it made you anxious about fixing it, you ultimately decided you didn’t care. You wanted to fix this guy, maybe know his story and see how he works. Ah, that’s right, you needed to check his processing chip.

You then opened his faceplate, his processing chip looked fine and all the wires in his head were intact. However, you noticed that his face was interchangeable. As you pressed against it, it flipped into a darker version. Oh, so there wasn’t two robots, just one. The moon faceplate was just as detailed as the sun, though it still gave you a more uncomfortable feeling as you stared. After many long hours of adding bolts and cogs, fixing his curved metal spine, and connecting his voice box again, Gregory came home. He had two large bags as well as your wallet in his hands. You took his appearance as a break time signal, stepping away from your table and over to your friend. Did you look like a mess? Absolutely. You’d been cooped up and working hard for the past few hours and you’d take any reason to step away from your work for a bit.

“Hey, what’d you get?”

“Well I wasn’t sure what sort of material to get or anything but I got this?” Your friend puts down the larger of the two bags on the chair beside him. You, of course, scramble over to see what’s inside. When you say you’re excited to make this robot clothes, you mean it. Inside the bag was three different materials. There was a golden felt, and a black felt of the same material right beside it. It wasn't super soft or anything but definitely a bit stretchy. The last was a simple orange ombre, it had a significantly softer feeling to it. You’d probably make a dress or something for yourself with a material like this. The feeling of it between your fingers made you smile, oh you’d be using this one a lot. Your friend then placed down the second bag and to your surprise there was various patches, lace, strips of patterned fabrics and more.

“How much did this all cost?”

“Only about two hundred? You said as much as I want.”

“Really? I was expecting it to cost a lot more.”

“Let’s just say I know a guy.” You laugh at the comment before picking up the two bags and placing them to the opposite side of the garage. The other table in this room had a sewing machine and you were excited as hell to use it. You had never gotten the chance to make a full blown outfit before, especially not with all the bells and whistles!

“Holy shit, you got it open? God it’s insides look terrible.” You turn to see Gregory standing over the animatronic, looking into its chest cavity.

“You think that’s bad? I’ve been working on it since you left, this thing was more then just a little damaged.”

“But it’s fixable?”

“Would I still be working on it if it wasn’t?” You laughed and made your way over to his side, looking around at all the work you’ve done. There were still a few more wires to connect and his core to readjust, then you would need to check the smaller things like his joints and overall cleaning him. Though you’d managed to work a ton on it and you were quite proud of yourself. I mean sure you weren’t extremely well trained for intricate bots such as these but you’d definitely done it right. At least, you’d done it right so far. You weren’t sure how complicated or complex the readjustment of his power core would be and that scared you. It was something you’d never seen before and had an unnatural pink glow to it. You’d even joked to yourself that it was his heart, in some ways it was.

“Well, that’s enough work for today. What do you wanna eat? I got some leftover Chinese in the fridge?” He turns and makes his way to the kitchen at your offer. You give the robot a once over before nodding to yourself and leaving. He’d be done at the end of the week. He had to be, otherwise you’d be too focused on him and not enough on anything that needed attention. This robot was now your main project and everything else would be pushed aside. This things story was worth more then anything else you had, let alone the price tag on its head if you fixed it. You can see it now, working and moving. At least you prayed it would.

As the hours turned into days, the days turned into weeks and finally you had completely fixed him. It was a little longer then expected, a two week long project, but entirely worth it. You’d made him a new pair of pants and cleaned up his shoes. The shoes had been redone as a simple black, the little bells having been replaced with a rose gold set. The striped pants were your favorite part of the piece, black with pale orange strips that ombré like a sunset. All of it clung tightly to his waist with a golden ribbon. Instead of the frills around his neck, you replaced it with a thick golden bow with lace trimmings and hand-painted it with stars and clouds. You decided to fix his wrist cuffs as well, replacing them with black ribbon, small bells hanging from each wrist. You also decided to take some artistic liberties with his outer shell, leaving delicate golden and silver curls down his arms in intricate patterns. Even going as far as to paint what looked like an elaborate keyhole above where a human heart would’ve sat. The two colors blended together seamlessly on his form similar to how a tattoo would’ve looked. You’d touched up his face as well but left it the same colors as the original, making sure to bring the colors back from their pale state.

He looked absolutely stunning with his new outfit and paint job, all that was left to do was activate him. You were just scared, I mean what if he was broken? What would you say to him if he wasn’t? You can’t exactly just go into a rant about why he looks different. What if you missed some damage? You knew it was your anxiety talking. I mean it’s not as if you’d checked him over countless times to make sure your work was up to par and even beyond. Oh wait, you did exactly that once a day. You called Gregory into the room with you, scared to be alone for when you turn the bot on. He entered rather tired, placing his phone to the side lazily to watch and make sure that you’d be okay.

“You ready?”

“I’m ready as I’ll ever be, let’s see if my hard work is gonna pay off.” You take a deep breath before reaching into his chest cavity and activating his main core. The pink glowed faintly and with that you shut his chest cavity and began to wait. You waited, and you waited, and then you waited some more. After about ten minutes you came to the conclusion that he wasn’t going to sit up. Fuck, you wasted those two weeks. You stood still, a heavy heart weighing you down.

“Hey, it’s alright, these things happen you know? How about this, breakfast on me?” He was trying so desperately to salvage your overly soured mood. You really, really wanted this to work. You had never wanted to fix a bot this bad before. I mean you rarely even gave them brand new details let alone more paint then they came with. You’d even taken the time to painstakingly sew his pants and paint his bow. God, you were fucking pissed. Well it’s time to drown your sorrows in cheap breakfast food and drinks, maybe even some sweets until you get a cavity.

“Yeah, alright.” You mumbled and stepped out of the room with Gregory. It took a while for you both to get dressed, you in a simple sweatshirt and sweats combo and him in jeans and a t-shirt. You grabbed the keys and just as you were about to leave, your friend began to pat his jeans.

“I left my phone in the garage, give me a sec.” You nodded, waiting at the front door. The second the door closes behind him you hear a loud scream. GREGORY! You immediately jump into action, grabbing the metal baseball bat you keep by the door. You didn’t have time to run into your room for a real weapon or grab a knife from the kitchen. You kick down the garage door harshly and to say what you saw was a surprise would be an understatement. There was you friend pressed against the wall, phone in hand. Then on the opposite side of the room stood the animatronic you swore up and down wasn’t gonna work. The being had snapped its head to you, arms and legs suspending him into one of the ceilings corners. What the fuck?

“Where am I? Why did you bring me here?” You hear its voice box crackle with what seems to be rage. Yet the way his voice shivers at the same time tells you everything you need to know about his statement. What happened to him? Those clear empty eyes made you uncomfortable and the aggression he seemed to have? Well, it told you getting any closer was dangerous...possibly even a death trap. It felt like you’d trapped a feral animal in a box. God damn it, maybe you should’ve waited longer for him to wake up.

———————————————————————

Tag List:

@crystal-freak24

@plaguerat44

@ahmya-4

@avid-main

@lethalbeautiful

@ch8rrybl0ssoms

[tomurasprincess]

Kinktober Day 24: Monster (The Asylum)

Day 24: Monster Title: The Asylum Pairing: Mothman Shigaraki x Reader Word Count: 3.1k Warnings: Noncon, monster mind control stuff, oviposition, cumflation, belly bulges, breeding, forced orgasms, some slight descriptions of gore and blood, yandere Note: The Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum is a real place, although parts of what I wrote is fake, mostly the part where they close down a second time in the fic. IRL, they’re still open and doing tours. Tagging @ichor-and-symbiosis​ and @kazooli​ as two of the OG Mothura writers 👀

Sequel: The Brood

Kinktober Masterlist

You’ve always loved urban exploring, going to old mental asylums and hospitals to look around and see the decay of places that used to be so bustling with people. You especially liked the places that had tragic pasts, the ones where horrific things occurred. It sounds morbid to anyone you talk to about your interests, but it was the truth. You’ve always believed in monsters and ghosts just out of sight of humanity, lurking in the dark corners of abandoned places.

That’s why you instantly planned a trip to the Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum the second you heard about it. It had been abandoned years ago due to extreme abuse of patients. A historical society had moved in later, renovating the place and making a history tour of it that also did ghost tours at night.

But even they ended up abandoning the place due to the fake ghost tours apparently starting to become real ghost tours. People began to see creatures out of the corner of their eyes, something they said was much larger than a human, with wings on its back and piercing red eyes.

It was initially dismissed as overactive imaginations, people who wanted to see ghosts so badly that they were seeing things that weren’t there. Or people who just wanted to start tall tales  for attention and were flat out making things up in order to scare the rest of the group.

But then the disappearances started to happen. It was almost always young women who got separated from the tour group, although a few times it was a boyfriend and girlfriend who got lost together. The tour guides scoured every inch of the asylum looking for the missing people, but they found no trace of them. At first it was dismissed as the people getting scared and running off without telling anybody.

Until one day, a regularly scheduled tour group stumbled across the bodies. Not the bodies of the missing girls, but their partners. They were viciously torn apart, with limbs scattered all over the room. Their blood covered the walls, the floor, even the ceiling of the room. The women were alive but traumatized, rocking back and forth in a corner of the room absolutely covered in blood, none of which was their own.

They told the same tales that the rest of the people did. They were captured by a monster, around 8-9 feet tall, with large moth-like wings and red eyes. The creature was surprisingly gentle to them, they said, at least until they saw that they were with someone. The creature had become enraged, tearing their partner to pieces as they watched. They knew for certain that they would be next, their eyes squeezed tight as they waited for their death.

But the creature did nothing, simply turning away and leaving the room like they were not what the creature wanted.

Although everyone agreed that something horrible had happened to the young women, none of them believed their story. They had stayed in that room for several days, covered in the blood of their loved ones, not knowing if they were ever going to make it out. Of course they were traumatized, thinking they saw monsters. But monsters aren’t believed to exist, and so everyone began to look for a human murderer that was never found.

The asylum tried to recover from the tragedy, but it was never able to. The amount of bad press they got for having lax safety standards and not taking care of their tour groups caused everybody to stay away. Finally, having no other choice in the matter, the asylum had closed.

When you heard this story, you were over the moon excited. Not just a historical landmark, but also a place with a possible real life monster sighting. Nothing was going to stop you from going there and seeing the place for yourself.

And now here you stand, in front of the building with a backpack full of supplies slung over your shoulder. You had your phone, flashlights with spare batteries, a spare change of clothes, matches and lighters, even a rope and various other tools should something happen inside of the building.

And so, with a deep excitement bubbling up in your stomach, you find your way through a hole in the fence and walk through the front door. The first thing you see is the reception desk with various odds and ends left over from the closure. There are even still brochures describing the various types of tours and listing prices.

You walk down the first corridor you see, going past various closed off rooms that look to be basic examination rooms. There is surprisingly little decay, mostly everything still looking rather clean and intact besides a thick layer of dust and cobwebs covering everything. You’re a bit discouraged but decide to continue on to see if things get more interesting.

After all, the murders occured in the basement, and you’re not anywhere close to that yet.

Soon you find yourself in the medical ward where the patients were kept, and you instantly realize one of the reasons this hospital was so nightmarish. The rooms are even smaller than jail cells, leaving barely enough space for patients to lay down in. There are so many rooms of that exact size that you wonder how the staff could accurately take care of the amount of patients there had to be. But you remember your research, remember the fact that they couldn’t.

That was why so many brutal procedures were performed such as lobotomies, in order to keep the peace at the asylum and make things easier for the doctors and nurses. You give a quick shudder and begin to move on, feeling a strange sensation that you desperately want to get away from.

The decay gets worse and worse the closer you get to the basement, rust and decay beginning to cover every surface you see. You walk past some of the surgery rooms and feel horror at the utensils and instruments you see in them. The historical society tried to keep things as accurate as possible, and as such, they had kept most of the equipment that you would see back in those days.

You’re beginning to wonder if this is a good idea, as that strange sensation continues to worsen and worsen. You realize with a start what this feeling actually is.

It feels like someone is watching your every movement. You whirl around, shining your flashlight in every direction as you try to see what’s watching you. But there’s nothing but darkness and the decaying walls of the hospital. You shake your head, laughing quietly at the fact that you’re spooked out by a few weird shadows and an odd feeling.

You’re not going to let it stop you from your goal, however, and you continue forwards until you get to the doors of the basement. The feeling here is overwhelming, simultaneously telling you to run and move forward all at the same time. The conflicting emotions leave you off balance and light headed, and you reach your hand out instinctively when you sway on your feet. You touch a section of the wall and instantly pull your hand back.

The wall is warm, not cold like it should be. A sense of unease crawls up your spine, and you decide then and there that it’s time to go. Making it to the basement is not worth this, whatever it is you’re feeling. But then you hear a soft humming and the flapping of wings, coming from deep within the basement of the hospital.

Instead of being terrified, however, you feel entranced. It’s one of the most beautiful things you’ve ever heard, and it’s calling you. You open the basement door without even thinking about it, walking down the stairs in a dreamy haze. You don’t even pay attention to how heavy the rot here is, how the walls are entirely blackened by decay that spreads out like veins on a body.

You don’t pay attention when the door slams closed behind you, locking you in with whatever is calling you closer. All you can think about is getting to that beautiful sound, that lonely haunting call that seems to burrow deep into your brain. You walk as if you’re in a trance, turning corridors that you’ve never seen before but somehow know where they’re going.

Finally, you get to a door that is deep within the bowels of the basement, a bright red door that seems to beckon you inside. You push open the door with no hesitation, walking through and letting it close behind you.

And you finally come face to face with the creature. He is about 9 feet tall, towering over your small form. He’s not overly muscular, but he has a thin wiry look to him that says he is deceptively strong. His red eyes bore into you like they’re staring directly into your soul. On his back are two massive wings, spread to their full wing span and utterly gorgeous.

The creature makes a small chittering noise as he motions you towards him, and you follow like he’s a puppeteer holding your strings. He pulls you tightly into his body, burying his nose into your neck and taking a deep whiff of your skin. His hot breath on your sensitive skin pulls a shudder from you. and he tightens his grip as if he’s worried you’ll get away.

A long tongue pokes out of his mouth, licking at the pulse point that is frantically beating. “Mine,” he groans into your skin, sharp teeth grazing you. “Mate.” You’re lifted up off your feet before being laid down on the ground, hips in the air and face down on the floor. He rips your pants off easily, leaving your panties on as he lowers his head down. You feel a flash of embarrassment as he sniffs them like he sniffed your neck, groaning again as his tongue drags across the wet abric. “Fertile,” he whispers as he pulls your panties aside, “fertile mate.”

The haze parts from your mind long enough for you to feel a sharp flash of fear, and then his tongue is lapping at your folds and the fear is quickly chased away again. You dig your nails into the floor as you feel him work his tongue inside of you, using it to fuck you like a cock would. You gasp when he hits your cervix with his tongue and keeps going, wiggling against the barrier like he’s trying to break through it.

Something in his saliva causes your body to heat up and your muscles to loosen enough for him to batter his tongue harder against you and push through. Your scream echoes through the walls of the room, but not of pain. Instead, a fierce pleasure overtakes you as your cervix gives way to the creature’s tongue, allowing him to enter into your womb.

The feeling of this tongue wiggling around in your empty womb causes you to tip over the edge and cum around the creature’s tongue as he eagerly laps at your juices. He withdraws his tongue, causing you to let out a whine of disappointment, only to be surprised when you feel something prodding at your entrance. It doesn’t feel like a human cock at all, with ridges and bumps along the length and much thicker than a human cock would be.

You have a single moment to wonder how it will fit inside of you before it’s pushing in, stretching out your tight outer ring of muscles and causing a sharp burning in your lower stomach. You whine and try to pull away, only for the creature to let out a snarl as claws dig into your hips, causing your blood to drip down onto the pavement.

Even though there is no pain, only more pleasure, you learn your lesson and don’t try to move away as the thick cock slides even further into you. It’s so much thicker than anything you’ve ever taken before, and you’re shaking like a leaf when he finally bottoms out inside. You think he’ll start thrusting like a human male would, except that he doesn’t.

He keeps pushing, humping into you with sharp movements designed to force your cervix open even further. You squeal as the cock makes it past the barrier, burying deep inside of your womb. You glance down and let out a choked sob at the bulge in your stomach where the tip of the creature’s cock is.

“Pretty - pretty mate,” the creature says hesitantly, rolling his hips experimentally into you and drawing a groan from your throat. “Tomura,” he adds, and it takes you a second to realize that’s the creature’s name.

“Tomura,” you murmur, and the creature chitters happily at the sound of your voice saying the name. You try to think of something else to ask, maybe even to beg to be released as the haze seems to clear a bit, but Tomura begins to hum again, and you instantly smile in bliss as all of your concern fades away.

You feel something else pushing into your entrance, and it takes a long moment to realize what it is as you feel it slip up your stretched out tunnel.

Eggs. The creature is filling you with eggs. Instead of being horrified, however, you moan as they continue to move inside of you. There are multiple eggs at once, small and gooey, and they coat your insides with wetness as they make their way to your still stretched out cervix.

You feel them pass through the opening to plop down into your womb, and you cry out and cum hard, pussy wildly fluttering around Tomura’s cock. He lets out a deep grunt of pleasure as he rocks his hips against you, and you feel more eggs pushing into you. This time, a few of them get stuck against a spongy spot inside of you, and you scream out your orgasm, legs shaking and eyes rolling to the back of your head.

“Fuck, oh god, shit, Tomura - “ you babble mindlessly as more eggs push into you, “it feels so good, why does it - “

Before those eggs can push fully in, there are already more entering you, and you feel so incredibly full. They drop down into your no longer empty womb, wringing another orgasm from your tired body. The skin of your stomach is stretching, making you look bloated, and Tomura still isn’t done.

You lose track of time completely, only aware of your body twitching and convulsing as more and more eggs push up into you, settling into your womb with the rest of them. Your stomach already looks 9 months pregnant, and you can barely hold yourself up.

Tomura sees this, and he gently picks you up and lays you down on your back. “Pretty mate,” he leans and kisses your forehead, “look so good with my children. Our children.”

“Oh god, no more, please no more, I’m so full Tomura,” you whimper as more eggs push into you. “Please, so full - “

Tomura hums softly at you, and you smile with bliss as the final eggs plop down into your womb.  His movements become more savage, thrusting hard into you as he grunts and groans. The force of his thrusts has you sliding up, breasts bouncing and your belly jiggling. The feeling of the eggs moving around inside of you has you howling out your orgasm, blackness dotting the edge of your vision as you almost lose consciousness.

Finally, Tomura is finished, and his cock begins to twitch inside of you as hot ropes of cum fill you up, shooting directly into your womb where the eggs reside. You sob as you watch your stomach bulge out even more as the creature’s cum fertilizes the eggs inside. You can no longer see the dents and valleys of the eggs along your stomach, and you reach down to gently run your hand over your bloated stomach.

You can feel the eggs through the barrier of skin, and it causes your eyes to roll back at the pleasure. Tomura gives a soft, happy chirp as he places his hand over yours on your belly, rubbing it gently. He pulls out slowly, causing a mixture of your cum and his to gush out of your now gaping pussy.

He reaches down to pick you up as he walks towards a door in the back of the room that you hadn’t noticed before. You’re shocked by what you see when you walk through. It’s an utterly untouched room, still looking brand new and with none of the decay that covers the rest of the basement. There is no bed, but there is a pile of clean blankets and pillows in the corner, piled up high and in a circle.

A nest, you realize. It’s a nest. For you. He tucks you in gently, chirping again as his clawed hand runs over your pregnant belly. “Mate,” he says happily, “my pretty little mate.” He stands up and walks towards the door, turning to you one last time as his gaze narrows and darkens just a bit.

“No running. Don’t want to have to tie mate down.” He continues to gaze at you, as if waiting for something.

“I won’t run,” you say quietly, and the dark look on his face is gone instantly as he beams at you.

“Good mate, good.” And with that, he’s gone.

With his absence, some of the haze lifts and you’re able to realize the horror of the situation you’re in. Nobody knows where you are, and you’re trapped. Even if you wanted to run, you don’t think you could with how large your belly is. No escape and no help coming for you, and the creature already seems so possessive of you that he’s not going to let you easily escape.

If only you had listened to your instincts earlier, if only you hadn’t been so fascinated with the grotesque, if only you had simply chosen to stay home.

You’ve always believed in monsters. You just never thought you would find one.

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

Kinktober: @thewheezingwyvern​, @vixen-scribbles​, @katsukisprincess​, @hisoknen​, @trafalgar-temptress​, @leeswritingworld, @burnedbyshoto​, @bakugotrashpanda​, @dee-madwriter​, @kittycatkrissa​, @reinawritesbnha​, @yanderart​, @dabilove27​, @anxietyplusultra​, @flutterfalla​, @angmarwitch​, @nereida19​, @babayaga67​, @fromsunnywithlove​, @dabis-kitten​, @bakugos-cumsock​, @yumeneji​, @the-grimm-writer​, @iwaizumi-chan​, @slashersheart​, @bunnyywritings​, @bakarinnie​, @angie-1306​, @lalalemon101​​, @videogameboiwhowins​​, @f4nficbaby​​, @tenkoshimmy​, @baroque-baby​​, @bbyspiiice​​, @thirstyforthem2dmen​​, @blissfulignorance2000​, @bluecookies02-main​

[autistic-mandalorian]

Ok listen. Kalluzeb could be a good ship when boiled down to the raw essentials. I too enjoy a good redemption arc. However in its current state it is untenable. Here are my fixes to Kallus as a character that would salvage his arc, IMHO.

I am putting this under a cut because it is LONG.

First: Kallus shouldn't have been an active participant in the Lasat Genocide at all. He should have been complicit in it, by being in the Empire, but not an active participant. As a rule, those who are explicitly shown to have actively participated in Genocide should not be redeemed by a narrative. Instead, he should have been a low-level officer or enlisted trooper flying on one of the ships sent to pick up the surviving Imperials on Lasan.

Second: Kallus should still have the bo-rifle, but instead of that frankly quite gross story of a Lasat guard giving it to him, an imperial who Did participate in the Genocide and stole it should have given it to him upon boarding his ship with a "look idk what this stick thing is but im afraid it's going to explode if I put it in a weapons locker so just take it."

This would be an interesting representation of the uncaringness and vastness of the Empire, its mechanized horrors, and how cultures are swallowed up and erased within it. This could also serve as a demonstration of ignorance and complicity on Kallus' part. Plus, his having the bo-rifle would give Zeb plenty of cause to hate him, meaning that animosity is still there.

Third: His redemption should have been foreshadowed from the beginning. He should have had glimpses of humanity and backstory, maybe even a few moments of mercy to make him possible to sympathize with and humanize.

Ok. With those points in place: A longer, more detailed summary.

Kallus joins the Empire because he is from a small outer-rim planet where crime is rampant. He remembers the Clone Wars and the Republic's decline, and doesn't trust democratic government. The Empire leads him to believe it is spreading peace, and he buys in to its racism. He goes to the academy, and then becomes an Ensign swabbing decks. Then he becomes basically a door guard. During the Lasat Genocide, he is guarding a door. His ship is called to Lasan in the aftermath to pick up surviving troopers and one of them tosses a stolen bo-rifle at him. They say that they don't know what it is and are afraid it will explode in the weapons locker, and ask him to do away with it. Due to being somewhat of a weapons nerd, Kallus recognizes that it is a projectile weapon and eventually figures out how to make it work through trial and error.

During the Ice Moon Episode, he tells Zeb this story about how he got the rifle. He talks about how he wants the Empire to spread peace and order, and that it's "strayed from its noble beginnings". Zeb tells him it's never too late to leave and start over. Kallus says that he can't leave, and he wants to "reform the Empire from the inside" because "there are good people in there", and if he can "get it back on right track", he can "fix everything". Zeb of course finds this idea hysterical.

Throughout the series, we see Kallus being kind to people. He lightens people's sentences when he has the power, he brings prisoners food and keeps them out of the way of abusive stormtroopers. He tries to stop excessive cruelty happening during planetary occupations. He buys into the A Few Bad Apples mentality and is fairly tacitly racist, but not horrifically so. This makes sure his redemption doesn't read as a deeply ignorant writing decision, which it currently is. He considers letting the Ghost Crew go when they first meet for a visible amount of time because he sees they have children with them.

Eventually, he gets his head on straight and figures out the true nature of the Empire. Then he becomes Fulcrum. He also starts copying down all the data he can about cultures the Empire has attempted to destroy and sending it to the Rebellion in hopes they can be preserved. Then, everything happens about the same. I'm keeping his godawful beard for fun, though.

Apologies for how long this post is, I simply enjoy fixing Star Wars' mistakes.

[maddiwrites]

Breathe With Me

Pairing: JJ x Reader

Summary: After finding out who hurt you on that horrific night, JJ helps you through another panic attack and makes plans to protect his girl.

Note: This was requested a long time ago after a chapter of my rewrite was posted! Instead of doing JJ x OC, like requested, I changed it to JJ x Reader so that people who don’t read my rewrite can enjoy it too. Hopefully this is okay with ya’ll. 

Word Count: 3.5k

WARNINGS: Sexual Assault!!! This chapter has descriptions of sexual assault. Please do not read if this is TRIGGERING!!!! 

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673

Masterlist

It was another regular day on the island. Hot and crowded with tourists. With everyone working, you decided to tag along with JJ and Pope to delivery groceries for Heyward’s business. Usually this meant going to Figure Eight, your least favorite place to be. Normally it didn’t creep you out too much, but because of a rather recent incident, you didn’t like being there.

Right after your dad went missing, you spent a lot of time with Kie as she lived out her Kook Year. Avoiding the Pogues and John B and surrounding yourself with stuck up assholes and their expensive drugs and alcohol helped you forget about your own family crisis. You would do anything to take your mind off your dad’s disappearance even if it meant getting high on whatever was offered to you. You didn’t ask twice about what it was. You figured if the rich people we’re doing it, it couldn’t be that bad right?

One night you did a long line surrounded by Rafe and a couple of his buddies. Pretty much everything after that was a blur. Your memories are fuzzy, like a puzzle piece you can’t piece together. The last thing you remember is your black hitting something soft, like a mattress or a pillow. You thought you heard the zipper of your shorts being pulled down but figured it was Kie helping you change into a pair of pajamas. 

The next morning you woke up practically naked with a blanket covering your bottom half and your bra pulled down to your stomach. You began to panic and ran your hands down your side, flinching at the tenderness by your hips. The skin was yellow/green and getting ready to bruise. Your breathing became shallow and your throat tightened up. You fumbled around the room you didn’t recognize for your clothes and slid them on, not caring what was backwards or inside out. You stumbled out the door and tip toed down the long staircase of the large house you were in. Figure Eight, you thought. 

You didn’t go home first. You went to Kie’s house. Because your body ached. Because you wanted to cry but didn’t want John B or the other boys to hear you. Because you were afraid to be naked around anyone but another girl. The second she opened the door, you sobbed into her arms and told her what you think happened to you. Kie tried to get you to go to the police or even the hospital, but you couldn’t fathom the idea of anyone knowing about what happened. Not even a stranger. Because you were embarrassed. You blamed yourself for this happening to you. You were high as fuck, trying to forget about your family troubles. You were the one to make yourself weak and vulnerable. No one else. Someone just took advantage of the position you put yourself in.

Kie didn’t pressure you. She wanted to support you in whatever decision you made, despite wanting justice for you and sending whoever the sleaze bag was to jail. She sat on the toilet and talked to you as you showered slowly. You spent most of the time staring at the wall and feeling ever inch of your body. You felt so dirty and no amount of soap or scrubbing could make you feel any cleaner. 

You stayed at her house for a couple of days until John B eventually texted her because he was worried. You both decided it was time for you to go home, but you never told them what happened. You were afraid of what John B and even JJ would do if they found out. And the last thing you wanted was for either of them to get hurt or in trouble.

John B didn’t notice something was off as much as JJ did. He could tell you were being more quiet and reserved than usual. Your usual style of crop tops and jean shorts changed to sweats and baggy t shirts. You slept with your door locked and didn’t touch a single can of beer since you came home.

Moving on from that night was a slow and gruesome process, one you don’t know if you’ll ever fully recover form. Luckily for you, JJ was a great distracter. He was an amazing story teller, he could make you laugh with a small hand gesture, and his laugh could draw you in for hours. No one was surprised when the two of you eventually started dating. Not even John B, who was a little apprehensive about it at first. 

To JJ, everything came to light when another make out session became heated. Like that morning, it became hard to breathe and your mind wandered off to what could have happened to you that night. In a blink of an eye, you were back in Figure Eight with someone pulling your zipper down. You could physically feel the bruises on your hips again and your skin burning. 

A panic attack emerged and JJ was left confused and lost. Fortunately for you, he was quick to realize something was seriously wrong and helped you through it. He breathed with you and talked you down. When you were calm, you explained what happened. At first he was pissed. Pissed at whoever could have done this to you and even a little bit at you and Kie for keeping this from him. He was ready to charge out of the house, grab John B, and find the sick son of a bitch who would touch an unconscious girl. But your cries stopped him. He’s never heard pain in your voice like he did that night. It physically cracked his heart into a million little pieces and he dropped every instinct he had and stayed with you instead. 

Since then, he’s been the most supportive and protective boyfriend. At every boneyard party, he would keep an eye out for any Kook that decided to show their face on your turf. He took note of anyone looking at you in a weird way. He carried the gun he stole from Scooter in his backpack for protection. He was serious about using it too. No one touches his girl and gets away with it.

Luckily, nothing happened between JJ and any Kook. No one made a move to talk to you or tease you. Kooks kept their usual distance from you, which not only made you feel better for yourself but because you didn’t want something to happen to JJ. You know the rules of the game of this island. Nothing bad ever happens to Kooks. They don’t know consequences. 

When Pope docks his boat, he asks if you would come with him to drop groceries off at the Thorntons. If he did it alone, it would cause two trips and he doesn’t want to waste time. 

As you go to agree, JJ steps in and shakes his head as he looks between you two. “I don’t think thats a good idea.”

“Why not?” Pope asks, completely clueless.

You subtly shake your head, silently begging for JJ not to say anything. Pope and John B still didn’t know and you want to keep it that way. Sure you would feel safer with JJ by your side, but you won’t be alone. You will be with Pope. And who would try to start something in the middle of the day anyway?

“It’s fine, J,” You tell him. You even try to joke. “I’m sure you’ll survive one hour without me.”

When you kiss his cheek, JJ turns to look at you with his brows pinched together with worry. “Y/N...”

“Seriously, J...” You say. “It’s okay. I’ll be fine.” You whisper that last part as Pope turns to get the bags. 

“You have your phone?”

You nod and pull it out of your pocket to show him. “Yes. I’ll call you if anything happens.”

As JJ walks in the opposite direction of you and Pope, you feel the tension in your shoulders get tighter. The sight of these homes gives you flashbacks. The worst part about all of this is you don’t even know who hurt you. It could’ve been anyone - a touron even. It would be easier to know who did it so you know who to avoid. 

Pope notices your change in behavior but doesn’t mention it. Instead he keeps a silent eye on you and studies your every movement. 

As you pass the golf course, you hear a couple cat calls and cheering from a group of teenagers. When you look up, you see Rafe, Topper, and one of their friends making their way over to you. You take a step behind Pope, hiding behind his body and keeping your eyes trained down on your shoes. 

“What do we have here?” Rafe whistles as he comes closer. He looks down at the bags in your arms and the beer in Pope’s hand. “Bring us something?”

“These are already paid for,” Pope glares at them.

“Oh, right, right,” Rafe nods as if he understands. Then he takes is golf club and swings it at the brown paper bag in Pope’s arms, causing everything to spill out of it. 

“Dude!” 

“Sorry, man!” Rafe holds his hands up in fake surrender. He leans down to pick up a beer bottle and tosses it to his tall friend. “Trevor, you feeling thirsty?”

The guy, better known as Trevor, cracks the beer open and takes a long sip. When he looks down, he spots you and eyes your figure up and down. Then he smirks to himself and a shiver runs down your spine. You don’t like the way he’s looking at you. Like a piece of meat or someone he knows too much of. 

Rafe catches his eye and smirks to himself. “Ah, yeah. I forgot. You and Routledge have some history.”

Pope looks over his shoulder at you and sees your chest rising and dropping at a quicker pace. You’re gripping the bags in your hands so tight that he can see your knuckles turning white. You look away from the group of Kooks at the golf course with a frown on your face. Something was wrong, Pope thought. 

“Yeah, you could say that,” Trevor chuckles. He looks at you again and tilts his head. “What? You don’t remember me?”

“Pope...” You feel like you’re choking. How could he know you when you have no idea who he is? You don’t like where this is going.

Trevor continues, “Can’t say I blame you. You were out of your mind wasted that night -”

“What the hell is he talking about?” Pope says, looking between you and Trevor. He wasn’t one to get confrontational or angry, but he didn’t like what he was hearing. He didn’t like how you were acting. Something wasn't adding up. He knew you’ve hooked up with Kooks before, but this one was different. 

“Almost as dead as her daddy,” Rafe chuckles. Something in Pope snaps and he pushes Rafe back by his shoulders. In retaliation, Rafe raises his golf club and smacks it against the middle of Pope’s back, causing him to fall down with a thump. 

“Pope!” You cry and drop the bags you were holding and kneel next to him. 

“Hey,” Trevor touches your shoulder to try and pull you away from the two fighting boys, but you flinch away from him. 

“Don’t touch me! Get away from me!” You cry.

Trevor immediately holds up his hands in surrender and takes a step back. Your outburst causes everyone to freeze in their movements, even Rafe and Pope. The wheels in Topper’s head start to move a little quicker too. He looks between you and Trevor and feels off about your connection. You looked terrified. And Y/N Routledge was almost never terrified. 

Even though you are outside, you feel claustrophobic. Your heart is beating so heavily against your ribcage that you wouldn’t be surprised if it were to break your ribs. Pope notices you’re two shades paler and having a hard time breathing. Tears are silently falling down your face and you continue to crawl away form the group of Kooks backwards. 

“Y/N...” Pope says quietly.

“We should go,” Topper says. He never hated you like some of the other Kooks did. Sure you never got along, but a small part of him thought you were cool. He knew something was extremely wrong and he couldn’t help but think it had to do with their friend, Trevor. He looks at Rafe who continues to stare at you with surprise. “Dude.”

“Yeah...” Rafe says slowly. “Trev, let’s go.”

The three Kooks scatter back to the golf course. You squeeze your eyes tightly and grip the fabric of your shirt, pulling it away from your body because right now it just feels suffocating. 

“Hey.” Pope crouches down near you and lightly touches your shoulder. His touch feels like an electric shock, making you flinch even further away. When you open your eyes, you’re back in some random Kook’s house on a mattress you’re unfamiliar with. “They’re gone. Hey, they’re gone.” Pope tries to be gentle with you, but he also wants to get you out of here and in a more comfortable setting. 

“JJ,” You manage to say. Your throat feels on fire. “I need J-”

Pope immediately starts fumbling for his cell phone and dials his best friend’s number. He bounces on the balls of his feet as he impatiently listens to the ringing. “Come on. Come on.”

JJ answers. “Hey! Sorry I’m on my way back now. You’ll never believe how much this lady tipped me. I swear I’m coming on every -”

“JJ, shut up and listen to me. Y/N...” He glances back at you and sees you’re hunched over with your forehead resting on your knees and your fingers through your hair. “She’s having a panic attack or something. I - I don’t -”

“Where are you?” JJ’s once elated tone has dropped to a more serious one. 

Pope tries explaining what part of the golf course they are near. 

“Okay. I’ll be there in five minutes. Pope, get her under some shade or something. And if you can, try to get her to look at you. She needs to open her eyes to see where she is.” Pope nods, forgetting that JJ can’t see him. “Pope!”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry. Okay, doing that now.”

JJ hangs up the phone so he can run faster. 

Meanwhile, Pope crouches down in front of you again and says, “Y/N/N, hey. Can you open your eyes?” Pope lightly taps your ankles. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s just me.” You slowly blink your eyes open and sniffle back the tears. Pope smiles when he sees he’s made some sort of progress. “Hey. JJ’s on his way. Why don’t we move you under some shade? It’s getting pretty hot out here. Can I help you up?”

You nod and let Pope help you up and bring you a couple feet away under a large tree. Your back rests against the bark and you try taking deep breaths to calm the swirling nausea in your stomach. 

It was Trevor. It had to be Trevor. From the way he looked at you, to the innuendo Rafe made. You knew in your heart that it was Trevor who had hurt you that night. 

A part of you always wanted to know who did this, but another part of you wished you never figured it out. Because now his face will haunt you forever.

About a minute later, you hear another set of footsteps quickly coming your way. You panic, your immediate thought going to Trevor. Would he come back? 

But then you hear your boyfriend’s beautiful voice. “Hey.” His tone is soft and gentle. “Hey, baby. Look at me. It’s JJ.” You open your eyes and meet the lovely blue one’s you fell in love with. He grins at you and takes your hands in his. 

“I’m so - sorry,” You sob, suddenly hating yourself for bringing this back up to your boyfriend and ruining Pope’s work routine. “I - I -”

“Hey,” JJ says and pulls your hands to his chest, palms down. “Remember what we did last time? Match my breathing, okay? Ready? Take a deep breath.”

Pope watches with awe silently from the sidelines. He’s never seen this side of either one of you. You so panic stricken and scared, JJ so intent with concern and intuitive. 

You follow JJ’s breathing until you feel calm enough to breathe on your own. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” JJ shakes his head. “Don’t be sorry. Do you want to tell me what happened?”

You look down at your hands that are folded in your lap. You want to tell him. Of course you want to tell him. But you’re afraid of what happens next. You’re afraid of how JJ will respond.

“Rafe, Topper, and their friend Trevor jumped us,” Pope answers for you. Like JJ, he’s also curious about what happened. Of course he was there for the physical breakdown, but he wants to know more about what you’re going through emotionally. 

“Did they hurt you?” JJ looks back at you and inspects every inch of your open skin for signs of scratches or bruises. 

You shake your head. “No.”

“Then...”

“I know who it was,” You say, your voice as soft as a whisper. 

“What? You mean. -” JJ’s head snaps back and forth between you and Pope. “Who?”

You dip your chin into your chest to hide your tears as they start to flow again. You take a deep breath and look back up at your boyfriend. “Trevor.”

“Who the fuck is Trevor?” JJ looks at Pope. 

Pope shrugs, “I don’t know. He was golfing with the other two Kooks.”

“Where’d they go?” JJ stands up, causing both you and Pope to follow him.

“No, JJ -” You try to pull him back to you but he slips his wrist out of your grip. 

“JJ!” Pope calls out to JJ who walks in the direction the other three disappeared to. 

“JJ, stop!” Your voice cracks which makes JJ turn around to look at you. “Please. I just want to go home.”

JJ freezes and bites down on his bottom lip, feeling conflicted. His head is telling him to run after the Kooks and beat every single one of their faces in until he finds the one named Trevor. But his heart is telling him to walk back to you and take care of you. 

“Okay,” he decides and wraps his arm around your waist. “Let’s get you home.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After you fall asleep later that night, JJ tip toes out of your room and silently shuts your door behind him. You passed out early, exhausted from the panic attacks and crying. In the living room, Pope, Kie, and John B are waiting. You had no other choice but to tell John B what happened. Now that Pope knew, it felt wrong keeping it from your brother as well. Of course it caused an argument, but in the end, John B only wants the best for you and to protect you. Which is why they’re here now.

“Ready to go?” JJ looks directly at your brother.

John B holds up his car keys. “Let’s go.”

“Whoa, where do you think you’re going?” Kie grabs John B by the elbow and glares at both of them.

“Where do you think?” JJ says.

When Pope and Kie stepped out of the room to check on you, JJ and John B both secretly decided that when you fell asleep, the two of them would sneak out and find this Trevor person and give him what he deserves. 

“Don’t be stupid,” Pope says, looking between the two. “You know how this works. The two of you end up getting in trouble and he gets to walk away clean.”

“I don’t care. I’ll kill him -”

“You can’t,” Kie says.

“I’m not asking for your permission, Kie!”

“Where’s the gun?” Kie says. “If you’re going to do this, I’m not letting you bring the gun. Leave it here.”

JJ looks up at John B who reluctantly nods his head for JJ to give it up. The blonde sighs and reaches into the back of his waistband and pulls it out.

“This is a bad idea,” Pope says again even though he knows the other two don’t give a shit. In a way, he kind of respects it. He would go to if he didn’t have a scholarship to worry about.

“Keep an eye on her. We’ll be back in a couple hours,” John B says.

“You better hope you are. Because if you’re not, you’re only going to be making this worse for her,” Kie tells them.

Kie’s words have both John B and JJ rethinking their decision. But only for a split second. 

JJ nods. “Don’t worry. I’d never leave my girl behind.”

[itsclydebitches]

I’ve been seeing an uptick in “anti-RWDE” posts lately  — which is a phenomenon I’d like to comment on at a later date  — but for now one of them (quite unintentionally) made me realize something about the finale that I haven’t seen others discuss yet. 

So RWBYJNOR saves everyone, right? Let’s just put aside the animation for a moment  — which didn’t show any army members making it out  — as well as the forgotten side characters  — Maria, Pietro, Qrow’s group isn’t forgotten, but still left behind  — and take things on good faith here. We’ll read the finale through the thematic intention: RWBYJNOR saved “everyone” in the Kingdom of Atlas in Volume 8, deliberately contrasting them with Ironwood who was willing to sacrifice a chunk of the Kingdom in Volume 7. Forget all the messiness and just accept that regardless of the consequences  — like a destroyed Kingdom and a “dead” team  — the heroes are heroic because they didn’t give into a “lesser evil” thinking and managed to save everyone. 

Now, how was that possible? 

Let’s go back to the beginning of the seventh episode of Volume 8, “War.” Salem’s grimm have just burrowed through Atlas’ defenses and taken them out. The shields are gone. She flies Monstra into the fields and releases an army of darkness that immediately heads for the city. What’s the very first thing Ironwood does? 

Soldier: Yes, sir?

Ironwood: I am evacuating all citizens to the subway. Prepare Manta Squad Omega, and dispatch to every part of Atlas.

Soldier: But sir-

Ironwood: Now!

He evacuates the people, with “the people” meaning all the Atlesians and however many Mantle folk got to the city prior to Salem’s arrival. When this episode aired I mentioned being confused as to why the soldier was so hesitant. Why wouldn’t you want the people to get to safety when a grimm army is heading their way? Fans against Ironwood took the soldier’s side, claiming that Mountain Glenn proved that any underground evacuation is a death sentence and thus he obviously doesn’t really care about the peoples’ safety. Fans in support of/neutral towards Ironwood pointed out that this is a pretty big leap, no one is coming up with a better idea for what he should do instead, and that within these circumstances it reads like the soldiers is illogically against this idea simply because everyone is against Ironwood now. The show wants characters criticizing his decisions and making him out to look like a crazed dictator... even during moments when it doesn’t make any sense to be upset with him. Shooting the councilman yes, trying to keep the people safe no. Basically, this small exchange was a mess, but the rest of the volume proved that this was a sound call. The subway never collapsed and no grimm ever made it to that enclosed space to pick the civilians off like fish in an underground barrel. 

So, why didn’t that happen? Well, one answer is because Oscar and Ozpin destroyed the whale. But how did they have time to do that? Without the people dying while they were being tortured, talking to Hazel, escaping with Emerald, fighting Salem, etc.? A lot happened between Salem starting her attack and Oscar ending it, so why wasn’t 2/3rds of the Kingdom’s population decimated during that time? 

Because Ironwood sent his army out to keep the grimm occupied. 

Outside of Ironwood’s cartoon villain actions  — random murders and bomb threats  — which get the most attention due to how deliberately, over-the-top horrific they are, these are the two actions that get the most negative attention from both the story and the fanbase. The soldier seems horrified by the order to evacuate. Marrow is devastated that young adults are fighting in this battle. The fandom is disgusted by both aspects of Ironwood’s character: giving orders that, as general, he expects to be obeyed and having an army that follows those orders. Putting side that cartoon villainy, this is what supposedly makes Ironwood the antagonist here. These are the qualities that have existed since Volume 2, resulting in a “he was always a bad guy” interpretation. These are the qualities that have resulted in anyone who likes his character being labeled as a “bootlicker.” We know these qualities make the fandom hate him because otherwise, more people would be confused as to why a presumably heroic character randomly shot Oscar. Orders, armies, and general military associations are at the heart of Ironwood’s presumed villainy. 

So let’s remove them. 

Ironwood has no evil army. Ironwood gives no evil orders. Power and control lies solely in the hands of our non-military heroes. Everything is better! 

...well, no. Because we saw in Volume 8 precisely the choices our heroes made when the attack started: half of them focused on saving a single individual (Oscar) and the other half kept to the sidelines. At no point did our RWB group act after sending the message and prior to securing the Staff. AKA, during the attack of Salem’s army. We got a very explicit moment in which Ruby looked out the window at the battle going on and turned away from it, continuing to discuss ethics instead of joining the fight. The people of Atlas (which, again, includes many Mantle citizens) had no one but Ironwood and his army because a third of the group was trying to rescue Oscar (they never even had a plan to blow up Monstra — that was also Ironwood), a third of the group was up in Amity, and a third was sitting in the mansion. They did nothing to help the people of Atlas being attacked by grimm. 

Thus, if you remove Ironwood’s actions, everything goes to hell. There is no longer an order to evacuate to the subway. Maybe some people go there anyway. Most probably don’t. They run in a panic wherever they can. Hide wherever they can. Go back home for some semblance of safety. 

There’s no longer an army. Either it doesn’t exist because we’ve determined it’s simplistically bad despite RWBY’s grimm-specific context, or Ironwood likewise never gives the order to protect Atlas’ border. Salem’s army moves unimpeded through the city, killing countless people as it goes. How do we know? Because they’re civilians who can’t defend themselves and there’s literally no one else to help. Remember: Ironwood is not giving orders, there is no army, RWB is in the mansion, YJOR is in the whale, Penny is out of commission, the Happy Huntresses are in Mantle. Those in Atlas are entirely alone. In time, Oscar destroys the whale, but by then it’s too late. There’s no concrete way to theorize how many have died, but it’s inevitably a lot. Everyone else is scatted across the city, trying to survive. 

So this scene 

no longer exists. 

When the group gets the Staff and creates portals for “everyone” to escape through, Mantle is ready to go. They’ve gotten everyone into the crater and can funnel them straight to Vacuo. Atlas, however, is in chaos. When Jaune enters the subway there’s only a few people there, many of which may be wounded or dying. He’s right back where he started, in Mantle at the beginning of Volume 8: needing to go door-to-door to find where people have hidden themselves, trying to convince them all to follow him (remember Oscar commenting to Ozpin about how difficult that was?). Except now, he and Nora are the only ones trying to get people to safey, the city is filled with far more grimm, a significant amount of time has passed for people to be killed or injured (making evacuating them even harder, both due to injuries and an unwillingness to leave hurt/dead/missing loved ones behind), he’s trying to convince these panicking people to go through magic portals, not just walk to a crater, and he’s aware that there’s a very short time limit for this task. 

Jaune returns in a panic of his own, explaining how difficult it will be to get that 2/3rds of the Kingdom to Vacuo. How many are already dead. Barricaded. Missing. Closeup on Ruby looking horrified, but then she rallies. They can do it. Atlas is falling, but residual dust gives them just enough time to find, calm, and evacuate those people. They’re heroes after all. Beating the odds is what they do. 

Then Cinder attacks. 

Suddenly, the group can’t evacuate people because they’re trying to keep themselves safe from her. Maybe Cinder gets the powers because Jaune was off looking for civilians, leaving Penny without a mercy kill. Maybe Nora dies because she’s still trying to help people on the city that plows into the one below. Regardless of how details might change, they’re not getting a spread out, decimated population through those portals before Cinder changes the wish and makes them disappear.  

In this version, the story starts with Ironwood wanting to sacrifice 1/3rd of the population to save 2/3rds and the future of the war. It ends with 2/3rds of the population dying instead. 

This is what I mean when I say the majority of the fandom wants to view a very complex situation through a ridiculously simple lens. The fandom wants to denounce every bit of RWBY’s fictionalized military, the context issues of that aside. The story wants to paint RWBYJNOR as the only heroes, in part because they succeeded in saving everyone (“everyone”) in the Kingdom when Ironwood gave up. 

But they only managed to save everyone because of Ironwood. Because he kept fighting for his people to the bitter end. This is why, though his horrific actions obviously exist in the story, they make no sense (he’ll threaten to kill his people so he can... save his people?) and mess up what little is working in the finale. The story wants us to celebrate the group for evacuating Mantle and Atlas, but the Atlas evacuation would not have happened if not for Ironwood’s actions  — the actions that are ignored in favor of having Winter blame him for everything and then killing him off. The rescue of “everyone” was very much a joint effort. RWBYJNOR’s win is not actually a contrast to Ironwood’s intended sacrifice, for the simple reason that their win depended entirely on Ironwood’s actions. 

If we’re going to celebrate the group getting everyone to safety, we should probably also celebrate the guy who got them all to an easy evacuation point and ensured they weren’t eaten before then. Does that mean Ironwood never did anything wrong? Of course not. As established, the story went out of its way to make him into a villain. Rather, it means that other parts of the story failed to maintain that black and white view, complicating the heroism of RWBYJNOR in the process. If we want Ironwood to be incapable of heroic action, always the bad guy, nothing good to say about him whatsoever... then we likewise need to accept that the group is rather unheroic in many regards too. That, on their own, they would have failed to save everyone, just as Ironwood’s plan failed to save everyone at the end of Volume 7. Because they chose their friend over a kingdom. Because they sat around in a mansion. Because by the time they took action again and tried to escape, without Ironwood’s help they would have lost a larger majority than they originally insisted be saved. 

[knickynoo]

Idk if you'll answer but, what is the difference between doc and Marty through the trilogy, and in the timeline where biffs rich (1985A). I want to hear of your opinion! :D

Of course I'll answer! I love thinking about the Doc and Marty who live in 1985A. Idk if you've ever read the IDW BTTF comics, but the "Biff to the Future" collection actually tells a whole story in that timeline and we see a decent amount of Doc and Marty! My memory of it is a bit fuzzy, but I think a big difference for Doc is that he isn't so much of an outcast in the Biff timeline? He joins in the "resistance" group working to take Biff down and seems fairly respected. But I'm going to mostly ignore the comics and give you some other thoughts.

What gets me every time I think about that timeline is that Doc has the memories of 1955 and the week Marty spent with him, right? Because the fact that the Biff timeline even exists is due to Marty's initial trip + their second adventure to 2015 & Biff stealing the almanac. So, even though the DeLorean wasn't invented in 85A and none of the events of the first movie and a half technically happened...they did happen. And Doc would remember that, I think. Idk, time travel is nuts. My point is that it must cause Doc major stress as the years go by after 1955 and he sees things going wrong but feels helpless to stop it.

(I just sat here for 5 minutes in confusion, doubting everything I just wrote but then remembered that Doc from the comics does in fact remember Marty as being his friend even though they've "never met" in the Biff timeline) Ok, back on track.

I could see 85A Doc being a little...tougher? I guess? Closer to the version of him we see in the Old West, where he's full of confidence and charisma and is stoic in the face of death. Living in such a tumultuous and scary timeline would definitely shape him into being a little more street-smart. And sneakier. 85A Doc is very cunning and sneaky.

He's also very concerned about Marty and hates having to watch him (from a distance) grow up under such horrific circumstances. It's a source of great anxiety for him, and he hates even seeing Marty walk by in town because it just reminds him of how upside-down everything is.

As far as Marty goes, the one from the comic is pretty similar to the one we know from the trilogy. It was kind of disappointing actually, because I was hoping for a totally different Marty, so I'll ignore the comics again and give you my headcanons.

Obviously, "our" Marty and 85A Marty are very much alike in terms of how headstrong and protective they are. 85A Marty hates to see those around him being taken advantage of or hurt. Unfortunately, growing up with Biff for a stepdad means he sees a lot of manipulation and violence from a young age, and so he shoulders a lot of worry and responsibility even when he's very little.

He's nowhere near as emotional as original Marty is. His circumstances and the chaos around him forces him to sort of shut down in order to survive, so he doesn't express positive/happy emotions all that much, and he never cries. He is, however, still prone to intense bouts of anger. ("Always a little hothead," as Biff says)

He probably isn't interested in music as much, or at least doesn't have the time or attention to dedicate to it. How can he, when his entire family has fallen apart and he's living in such a nightmare? His primary goal is keeping his mom safe, even though it means he has to take a lot of beatings from Biff and his cronies. (Like, can we talk about how Biff just punches Marty right in front of Lorraine in part II? And how Lorraine says, "They must have hit you over the head hard this time." This time?? 85A Marty has grown up regularly abused and it makes me sad, y'all.) And he's gotten very good at causing trouble, which comes in handy every time Biff ships him off to another boarding school and he needs to quickly get kicked out so that he can come back home and be there for his mom.

I think at his core, Marty is still Marty in a lot of ways. It's just that he's had to form a hard, protective shell around himself so that he can be strong for his mother and so Biff doesn't emotionally break him. But I can imagine him as still being innately sweet and loving, even though he doesn't have many opportunities to express that side of himself.

Thanks for the ask!

[boldlyvoid]

Intro to Criminal Minds: Why They Did It

Criminal Minds x MINDHUNTER AU

Spencer Reid x Margaret Carr (OC)

Part 1: Ed Kemper.

Summary: Spencer is teaching a 7-week seminar on the most interesting criminal cases, explaining their actions to understand why they took place. Only, not everyone in the audience is a student.

warnings: graphic details of a real rape and murder case, like every trigger in the book, applies to this fic so read with caution (if you watch either show you're used to it, however), it's all real and did actually happen and I don't support any of it. strangers to lovers, mutual pining, flirting, fluff, eventual smut, idiots in love, OC is Wendy Carr's daughter, her bio father is Jason Gideon

word count: 3.9K

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't having fun teaching.

He started with guest speaking, moving to special seminars a few times a year. But he wanted something more, settling for a 7-week criminal justice elective of his choosing.

Intro to Criminal Minds: why they did it. Giving Spencer an excuse to share the most intimate facts about serial offenders in a setting where no one could tell him to shut up.

14 students total signed up for the two-hour Seminar, taking place every Thursday at 11 am from September until Halloween. Over the 7 weeks, he would explain the fascinating insights of the most successful killers in the United States. Only asking that his students write about a prolific crime they find interesting by the end of term, for their full grade.

All he wanted was to read about obscure killers from around the world, from the perspective of aspiring profilers.

The first Thursday, he came prepared with his coffee a half hour before the class. He wanted to write the main points on the whiteboard in advance, nice and neatly.

To his surprise, a student was already there waiting for him. "Oh, hello,” he smiled softly.

She was sitting with a book in her hands, she pushed her glasses up her nose to look at him as he walked in. She was older than his typical student, around 35. Probably finishing up a degree or adding something to what she already had.

"Hi," she smiled at him. “Sorry, I’m early, I was visiting my mom at Quantico earlier.” She explained. "I'm not a teacher's pet or anything. Promise, I’m not even a student.”

It made him laugh slightly, correcting him like she read his mind. "It's okay, I'm Doctor Reid," he introduced himself softly.

“Margaret Carr, Peggy is also fine.”

"Pleasure to meet you," he said quickly before focusing his attention on the whiteboard.

He could feel her eyes on him the whole time he wrote, not wanting to turn around and catch her. "That's so interesting," he heard her mumble under her breath.

"Hmm?" He turned around.

"It's just that, everyday occurrences that never phase the regular person somehow cause psychopaths to kill," she read the board back to him.

"I was reading a study a while back about how psycho killers medulla oblongata is approximately 19% smaller than the average human’s. Based on the way they're nurtured as children affects if they grow up to kill. The ones that don't often end up in law enforcement and other positions of power where their psychopathic tendencies can come to play."

He was taken aback for a moment. He had never experienced a student who was like him before. Someone who just pulled facts into conversations like it was nothing.

"I read that as well," he smiled. "It is fascinating. The smallest amount of bullying and abuse from a mother or disappearance of a father figure can set them off."

"Or, on the other hand, there are people like Ted Bundy," she added. "He was well-loved and taken care of, but it went to his head. His god complex and affinity for lying led him to be incredibly charismatic and enabled his killing."

"You're very educated on this already; are you just interested in hearing me speak today?" He asked, not wanting her to leave, finding it interesting that she was there.

"Oh," she blushed. "I was going to talk to you more about it after the seminar actually."

“Okay, I’ll be waiting for you,” he felt a little giddy at the prospect.

"Thanks," she laughed. "Seriously though, I'm a big fan of your teaching style, I saw a few of your classes when my dad was teaching at the academy in 2005. It's a lot easier to remember facts if the lecturer genuinely loves what they're talking about."

"You're going to like this Seminar then. It’s basically just a way for me to get paid while unloading all the random facts I have,” he warned her with a smile.

"I know." She smiled back at him.

The rest of his students filed in slowly. By 11 am, 14 faces were staring back at him.

"Hello," he waved awkwardly. "I'm dr. Spencer Reid. For the last 12 years, I've worked with the FBI's Behavioural Analysis Unit. Catching serial offenders across the country."

He took a deep breath, letting the nerves find their way out of him. "I've been asked time and time again who my favourite serial killer is, which is a peculiar way to phrase the question. It feels morally wrong to have a favourite in the way people do with baseball players.

"I am, however, fascinated with several serial offenders' reasoning and explanation for why they did what they did. Every single killer is different, but it all comes back to 1 thing. Do you know what that is?"

They all shook their heads. “What is your relationship with your parents like?" He asked. 

Everyone in the room reacted; some students sighed, some rolled their eyes as they recalled their parents and childhoods to memory.

"When a person decides to kill, it's often never in the moment. It's in childhood. The majority of serial offender's stories start the same; their mother didn't love them, their father left. Someone at home abused them or put them down repeatedly."

"Thus, causing a hatred so primal to bubble. No matter how hard they try and fight it, the bubble always bursts. They go from fantasizing to killing in retaliation for their abuse, taking the anger out in stages."

He referred to the board. "Every killer has a stressor and a trigger—something that causes the urge to bubble and the event that causes the bubble to rupture.”

"Edmund Kemper is a fascinating example of this. He grew up with a family for the first few years of his life before his father fully abandoned them. His mother handled the situation by turning her anger onto her son; it was his fault his father left, he looked just like him, Ed was just another useless man who would never amount to anything," he emphasized the words. Hoping the class sees the effects words have on children.

"He started by cutting up dolls, stealing his sister's barbies and cutting their heads off. In his mind, he was getting out his anger and hatred for how his mother saw him. She hated men, causing him to mature with a warped idea of what women are truly like."

"His attraction to killing worsened his mother's hatred; she could tell something was wrong with him, that he didn't react to everyday situations the way he should. By the time he was ten, she was locking him in the basement for days on end, telling him he was a monster and her biggest regret."

"The change in her rage amplified his own. He hated hearing her speak. He hated the way she walked around, thinking she was better than him. That just because she was a mother and a working woman, she deserved respect and submissive’s. All he could see was a woman with a big head who needed to be humbled. This is the moment when the psychotic side of his brain blended his hatred of his mother with how good it felt to kill."

"Is that why he, you know?" Peggy cut in, running her finger along her neck as she pretended to cut her head off.

He pressed his lips together in an awkward smile, nodding. "His signature, as it's called, was decapitation. But more specifically necrophiling the severed head of his victims."

The whole class let out a disgusted noise, Peggy and Spencer making eye contact while they shrugged, it wasn't news to them.

"At age ten, he moved from barbies to cats and dogs, never leaving them around for his mother to see. While he hated her, he was also absolutely terrified of her. Breading a special type of killer. When you think of school shooters or preferential predators, what do they have in common?" He asked.

He pointed at a student in the back. "They have a specific type of victim they’re after?"

"Exactly. Most serial offenders want to go after the cause of their pain or attraction. However, Ed wasn't able to kill the source of his rage for a long time. His mother mentally abused him so intensely that he believed she was in control of him and that her opinion of him mattered. He saw her as his God, he loved her, but he also knew that he disappointed her.

"He ran away soon after to find his father. Travelling to California, only to be told he was unwanted there as well. It wasn't just his mother that his father was escaping; it was the fundamental aspect of family that he didn't want. Ed defiantly didn't want to go back to his mother after that, so he moved in with his paternal grandparents."

He kept catching the looks on Peggy's face. She knew the story already, waiting patiently to hear the words he chose to make the horrific acts seem a little more conversational.

"His grandmother was exactly like his mother. If I had to guess, his father most likely had a distaste for his own mother and thus divorced Ed's mom. Only he never grew up to be a killer, just an absent father—his absence doing to Ed what never happened to him."

"Ed killed his grandparents when he was 15. Telling the police and his therapists that they had beaten him constantly, they refused to feed him and called him names. He said he snapped from the trauma; it was self-defence."

Peggy laughed to herself, making him smile softly. "Sending him to a mental hospital instead of a juvenile facility was the worst thing they could've done for him," Spencer added.

"Why?" A student asked.

"Ed is a psychopath." He reminded them. "He doesn't feel empathy the way we do. You can admit that you feel bad for him, yes? If you understand why he killed people, it doesn't make you sick, like him, it makes you human. You see a hurt person hurting others; Ed Kemper sees himself as a new sort of God, choosing who dies, how and when."

"He was brilliant, having the exact IQ as I do," just a humblebrag, "the staff trusted him. He looked like an innocent boy, smart enough to take matters into his own hands for the betterment of his life. They gave him computer privileges, they let him work the front desk and file patient information. Giving him all the resources to learn about who he was inside and how to get away with it perfectly."

"Damn," another kid added. "When did he get out?"

"At 21.” He answered the student quickly. “Ed was interviewed by my mentor Jason Gideon, in the 70s. Where he explained that being locked up during his sexual prime, as well as the access to information, is what truly set him off more than his mother.

"He moved back in with her and his sister when he came out of the institution, immediately returning to the constant ridicule. He went from being told all the time that he was a smart and charming young man, capable of rehabilitation to a useless, no-good son, who would have been better off collecting in a condom or running down her leg."

The whole class laughed, shocked at his repetition of Ed's mother's words.

"He got his licence when he was released. And remember, this was prime time for hitchhiking in California; everyone and their mother walked the roads with a thumb in the air. It was the birth of free love and recreational marijuana usage. It was also the best hunting ground for a learning serial killer."

"He was able to pick women up, but like I said, missing his sexual prime while in an institution made him almost impotent. He didn't know how to speak to women; he had to create a fantasy in his mind every time, one that involved killing, before he could look at a woman."

"How did he get them in his car then?" A voice asked from the back.

"He was 6'9, 300lbs; he looked like a big teddy bear. And his mother was the local college administrative assistant, so the whole town knew him anyway. If Ed offered to give them a ride, it wouldn't be that bad, right?" Peggy turned around to face the class as she explained for Spencer, who just shook his head.

"He only wanted to rape the victims, originally," Spencer added. "But he couldn't. There was no release of the tension. The bubble that had been growing inside him was at its breaking point; he needed to just do it. Get it over with and move on."

"He killed 6 women in succession after that. Gaining the name "The Co-Ed Killer," well before anyone even suspected Ed Kemper," Spencer took a sip of coffee, feeling his throat start to dry as they reached the insane part.

"He was overly friendly with the cops; he wanted to get his record expunged and join the force.” Spencer finally continued. “Being told, "don't worry about your record, worry about your weight.""

"Most killers enjoy wearing a uniform for the power and talking to the police about their cases, in the hopes of gauging how smart they really are—taking pride in the fact that they are getting away with it for so long."

"He watched all the cop shows, and he read all the books. He knew that in order to get away with it, he had to do it where no one could trace it back to him. He knew he had to keep his cool and avoid looking obsessed with the case, but just curious enough to gain insight into how they thought he was doing it. It went on for years, and they had absolutely zero leads, finding headless bodies every few months before they finally received a call." He left them hanging, walking over to his sheet of paper and pretending to read it while they anticipated the catch.

"Ed always knew that he wanted to kill his mother. He just never knew when,” Spencer teased the story along. Noticing as the students fidgeted in their seats as they wondered what happened next.

“In his interview with Gideon, Ed said that he knew she would die 7 days before he killed her. He walked into her room that night to find her reading, with the audacity to ask if he wanted to come in and chat all night. Teasing him for the way he rambled to her. It was the last time she ever did that."

"It's hard to imagine his signature with the fact his second last victim was his mother," Peggy added, cringing at the thought.

"Wait," another student interjected. "Who was his last kill then if he only really wanted to kill her?"

"Remember how I said he lacked empathy?" Spencer asked. "He loved his mother in the same way a prisoner can end up loving their captor."

Peggy nods at the comparison, looking like she's never thought of it that way before, then smiling at him.

"You grow a bond through the trauma and when the only thing you've ever known is violence and hate, you don't know what to do when that's gone, it's hard to cope."

"He said he killed his mother so that she never had to know what he did. She'd never have to sit at his court hearings or be able to tell the media that she always knew he was a killer."

"His last kill was his mother's best friend," He finally answered the question.

"He didn't want his mother to be even more disappointed in him, but he also didn't want his mother's best friend to find her like that and be upset. So the obvious answer to him was to kill her too."

"What the fuck?" He heard a couple of kids say under their breath.

"Yeah," he agreed with an almost chuckle. "This is what I mean by their answers are fascinating. It makes so much sense to them; clearly, if I kill my mother, her friend will be upset, so the best answer would be to put her out of her misery as well. He sees them as objects, like a matching set. One would lose value without the other."

Everyone was silent then. The students took in all the information they had just received, staring up at him with a look of disgust mixed with wonder.

"Any questions?"

Peggy raised her hand for a change; he pointed towards her in approval. "You missed the part where he specifically took the heads from the three women before his mother and brought them back home with him. He buried them in the yard outside her bedroom window, making sure they were always looking up to her."

Spencer was amazed that she knew the details. "Yes, I guess I did."

"I always found that part particularly interesting in this case," Peggy added. "Her opinion mattered so much to him. He knew how much she loved her co-ed's and how they looked up to her so much. They'd be exactly like her. He felt trapped in a town of women who were exactly like his nightmare, and his response was to make them physically look up to her for the rest of her life."

"Exactly." Spencer smiled. "understanding how he sees the situation and how the events played out in his mind is the key in figuring out who he is."

"If you were on the case in '72 when the first victims were discovered, how would you have handled it, Dr. Reid?" A male student in the back asked in the silence between answers, taking his shot before Peggy and Spencer went any further in their discussion.

“That's a hard thing to answer, connecting evidence back then was a lot harder than it is today, if it wasn’t for men like Ed there wouldn’t really be this many answers,” Spencer said honestly.

Another student put her hand up, “what’s the worst thing he did in your opinion?”

That racked his brain, there was a handful of horrific things he did that were particularly horrific, “probably his mother's entire murder.”

“What did he do?”

Before Spencer could answer he saw Peggy open her mouth and start explaining. “He not only cut off her head and fucked her neck, but he also took her vocal cords out and shoved them down the garbage disposal. And before he called the cops, he cleaned everything up and made her look presentable because he said his mother wouldn’t want guests to see the mess.”

The class all cringed, sinking into their seats with disgust. But that didn’t stop Peggy from explaining it all further.

“He used to go to a bar all the cops went to and he would talk about his case. They would always one-up themselves and say they were close which gave him this false idea that they were on his tail and they’d find his mother soon. But when they didn’t, he called it in from a payphone and said he’d come over and explain it all. And boy did he ever, the cops said he wouldn’t shut up. And then when they put him in the cop car finally, a woman walked past him and he threw up.”

Spencer watched her with awe, the way she could call information to memory like that was beautiful. He listened to her like he’s never heard a fact before, she was so intriguing.

“Thank you for the detail,” he teased her lightly. “Sometimes I get so caught up that the really gross parts get swept aside.”

The class smiled at him, he had gained their trust and attention within only 1 hour of class.

“I know you said you don’t have a favourite,” another student asked from the back. “I agree it’s weird, but who is the one you gravitate towards the most?”

“I’ve met hundreds of serial killers, I’ve read about thousands,” he explained. “I think Ed Kemper is the one I gravitate the most around because he was so willing and open to explaining why he is the way he is. Going as far as to say that the only way they could keep women safe is to give him a lobotomy. He didn’t believe there was any correcting to be done, only removal of the evil within him.”

He heard slight mumbles as everyone took in what he said. “Does anyone here have a killer or a case that interested them in learning more, or just introduced you to the chase of justice?”

Peggy put her hand up, “I personally think BTK is the scariest, most tactical, and just downright evil man to ever exist. He scares me to no end but he’s so interesting to learn about.”

“Ahh,” Spencer agreed. “Too bad you won't be here for week 3. But with that I think I’ll end the class, next week we’ll be discussing the difference between Ted Bundy and Richard Speck.” He nodded lightly, watching the majority of them close their books and had on out.

“I really enjoyed the class,” she said softly. Holding her purse in one hand, a collection of files in the other.

Spencer turned to look at her then, smiling right back. “It was a pleasure to teach alongside you.”

“What do you mean?” She teased, “it’s not like my mom and dad were the ones who did all the interviews."

“Carr,” he repeats her last name. The gears turning in his mind as he brings all the information forth.

“Your mother is Wendy Carr, she was recruited after the BTK case with Bill Tench, she’s who was behind that study you mentioned.”

“I know,” she smiled.

“Who’s your father?”

“Guess,” she looked at him with an unimpressed look on her face, pushing her glasses up slightly.

“You’re kidding? Gideon never said he had a daughter let alone a,” he stops himself before he can embarrass himself any further.

She smiled at the implication of his words, “but he’s told me all about you Dr. Reid, that’s why I'm here.”

“You need help with a case and I’m the only agent in Virginia currently,” he pressed his lips together awkwardly. Knowing it was too good to be true that she would have any interest in him in the slightest.

“No actually, I have a case I’ve been working on privately and I need some help. I asked my dad but he said you’d be able to help me the best. I agree,” she corrected him softly. “I wasn’t kidding when I said I was a big fan of yours. When I would sit in and watch his lectures, before he knew I was his kid, you would always step in at the best parts, adding the smallest details to the story that the average person would forget. It’s magnificent.”

He laughed slightly, tugging at his collar as she complimented him. “Thank you, you’re quite magnificent as well,” he replied with a blush and a smile

She didn’t look like Gideon, probably because she smiled so much. Like sunshine on legs, she beamed, all but blinding him with her smile as she stared at him, “do you want to get lunch and go over this case with me?”

“I’d love to.”

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