#I recently left the lds church and I'm not looking back

[revrevrew-writblr]

About Me

Hey Guys it's been a while since I started this tumblr account. I have some updates to the rules of my page:

I'm cool with spicier scenes but I will still not be writing sex (it doesn't suit my fancy but definitely not kink shaming ;)

I cooler with cussing. A shit ton cooler.

I'll probably use more he/she pronouns in my stories (I won't forget about my non-binary friends tho!).

Feel free to make asks or write continuations to any of the stories I've written (tag me so I can see it! :). I want to see creativity in a different way than mine!

I won't entertain rude criticisms but I am always open to humanized feedback.

[nerdygaymormon]

Hi David! I've been seeing a lot of exmo stuff recently, more than the average (which for me is usually zero). Most of it involves delving into the history of the church and being upset with some of the rules set in place regarding homophobia/sealings/racism. I haven't done a deep delve into the church itself, but I know its a bit messy.

It makes me feel a bit unsure seeing these things, as I feel like I've accepted my place in the church? I love the doctrine and the role that divinity can play in my life, and I am blessed to have been raised in church environments that were 95% of the time positive. There's of course always struggles and issues, but I wonder if I'm not "radicalized" enough to feel the things I see people talk about. I recognize that while I'm a queer woman, I'm white and feel vaguely comfortable with being aligned female and can marry in the temple if I wish, so some of the barriers or history people talk about aren't as personal to me.

I don't know, I don't want to lose the level of acceptance and peace I have now but I also don't want to be feeling like I'm not upset enough or radicalized enough about the church. :(

One key teaching of Christianity is that we are all are alike, God doesn't favor certain people over others. In Christ, the things that divide us go away and aren't important, such as gender. The LDS Church falls short in living up to this teaching.

We have a history of not treating women, Black people and LGBTQ people equitably. We have formally limited and restricted how they may participate in church and what blessings they may obtain. This is breaking the 2nd great commandment of loving our neighbors as ourselves.

Fortunately, the LDS Church lifted the restrictions on people of African descent in 1978, but it has taken us a long time to grow into that change.

I know the LDS Church works for a lot of people and I'm glad they find community and comfort. But we can all work to expand the circle of inclusion to remove the barriers which treat people differently. Part of that is to understand our history and also to have a desire to want the institution to do better.

There's plenty to look back at and be embarrassed about. What is the purpose of exmo's sharing the shameful parts of LDS history? Is it to prompt the Church and members to expand our capacity to do better and be more inclusive? Is it to make themselves feel better about having left the Church? Is it that they're simply curious and sharing what they have learned? Their purpose and tone make a difference.

[ranseur]

just fyi in case you weren't aware - brandon sanderson has talked about still being a practicing member of the mormon church despite the homophobia/human rights stuff the church supports

hi anon i wasn't aware of this! i'm surprised actually because his portrayals of queer characters in his books didn't give me the impression he was homophobic or against human rights, himself.

looking into it more- i see that he addressed his relationship w the LDS church in a recent AMA on reddit. to summarize, it seems like he's saying that he is pro-lgbtq+, that while he is still learning how to be better, he stays with LDS with the hopes that the community's stance on lgbtq+ people will change. and how he contributes to that shift is that many members of LDS read his books (i guess because he is a member) and through his books they see his nuanced portrayals of lgbtq+ characters. (https://www.reddit.com/r/books/comments/vtua7m/comment/ifa50ab/) that said, it does make me uncomfortable to learn his tithes potentially go towards harmful things that I am against. though it seems that based on his comments the homophobia is something he genuinely wrestles with, and openly denounces. I think if someone chooses not to read his books due to his faith, that's a very fair choice. on the other hand I respect Sanderson for admitting that his faith and political beliefs don't always align and for learning the progressive beliefs that he currently holds. i'm atheist and ex-christian; so i can sympathize with people who have complex relationships with their spiritual leaders and their personal faith. (personally I chose to leave and never look back) granted i haven't had a lot of time to think about this; but i'm wondering, and hoping this is fair to ask: if Sanderson's personal beliefs don't align with what other mormons believe, would it be fair to hold their beliefs against him by association? and if it is fair, then would I have to start holding every religious person accountable for any uncouth things that their religious text says or their leaders are responsible for? or could a person denounce those things, and be left to practice their faith in their own way? this is not an easy conversation to have- so its very fair if you won't agree with me but i hope i didn't come across as unfair. i think Sanderson isn't malicious, unlike Rowling who sucks, and i don't think he specifically supports or ignores the homophobia and anti-human rights that the church supports. also, sorry if this was long- im not good at being succinct.

[getittogetherk]

September 1, 2024

The first day of September, and a Sunday.

I'm not really sure why I haven't been journaling as much. I wonder if it's because life has calmed down somewhat. i currently have no crush, no awful work drama, and no dog to foster/dogsit.

this weekend (i'll start from yesterday) has been pretty chill but also pretty productive.

saturday, i met up with lana, sov, and matt k at a pickleball court in altadena. we were awful, me especially, but we had a good time playing pickleball. afterward, matt and i got brunch at a cute spot in altadena, and i went home for a bit before heading out again for volunteering at the VBA's, half poop patrol, and half socializing.

This morning church was out of session as it's Labor Day weekend and i met up at the VBAs again, this time to join the "Happy Tails" hike, where I carried water bottles, filled doggy water bowls, and scooped up 4 large poops. it was nice to be out hiking, taking in some Burbank views, chatting with people, and seeing how happy the dogs were to be out of the kennel.

the rest of today has so far been pretty chill. I did some dishes, took out some trash and recycling, put up the new blinds and threw out the old ones, and took out some of marilyn's yard waste. i also watched some Brooklyn 99, which has been really funny and I've found myself on two separate occasions literally booming with laughter, even though i only half-watch as I play dumb games on my phone at the same time.

other things that have brought me a sense of joy/peace: listening to music i liked earlier. a newfound "discovery" and appreciation of kim gun mo. back to listening to The Read podcast and during a walk, which I haven't taken in a long time. reading. currently reading Love in the Time of Cholera and The 7 Habits of Highly Effective people alternately.

i just feel calmer, less desperate. i'm not texting grace y constantly to see how she is, in a sense, to see how "we" are. i don't go to BJ's as often to drink and stare at the waitress who i will never date or have anything to do with. i eat fewer pounds of pasta at one time, and today, i've eaten on fruit and am planning on eating another. i've also been very recently watching less Youtube, whereas before i watched for literal hours a day and would fall asleep to it, mostly the "downfalls" of celebrities, whether real or of the youtube/tiktok variety.

this friday-monday i'll be going to portland with lana, and my birthday will be later in the month. i have currently no plans but will likely get sushi with lana, and treat myself to a massage, especially as my left shoulder has been especially stiff.

things feel weird with lorena, grace y, and especially ant, and i'm just about completely estranged from grace h at this point, but it's fine. it's not pulling at me today, although it was about two days ago. i'm trying to separate myself a bit from my feelings, and trying to have it have less of an affect on me.

tomorrow is the labor day holiday. i'm supposed to take a morning walk with my mom, and then LD will come over with her dog and we'll make firestarters for camping and then hang out for a bit, as kaelynn is likely out of town, having just started a job that puts her every week in san francisco.

on occasional i also read a book about Borderline Personality disorder to learn more about it and hopefully pick up some tools to not let it control me.

things i want to look into more in lieu of endless youtube: pickleball: rules and techniques yelp: engaging enough to get 2024 elite status things to do in portland

hoping this feeling lasts.

[samwisethewitch]

Hi. I'm sorry if you've answered this before but. Were you raised mormon? Genuinly asking. I've been looking into a lot of the stuff you post about recently. When talking about modern cults you mention mormonism alot. I was (and currently am ugh) raised mormon and that crap sucked. So I was just wondering if you were raised or what your experiences with it were. Thanks - :l

TW: Mental illness, religious trauma, victim blaming, and homophobia discussed below.

Yep! My family joined the LDS Church when I was nine years old, and I left when I was seventeen. 

Spending my teen years in a Mormon environment was traumatic in a lot of ways that I am just now discovering and beginning to heal 4+ years later. I felt like I was worth less because I was a woman (and therefore could never interact directly with God the way men with the priesthood could). I felt like God hated me because I was bisexual, and I felt like my mental illness was God’s way of punishing me. It was genuinely the lowest point of my life in terms of mental and emotional health. I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder, but when I was Mormon was the only time in my life I’ve really struggled with depression.

(For what it’s worth, my parents were NOT responsible for the bulk of my religious trauma. Most of my negative experiences happened during seminary and youth group, and my mom didn’t find out about it until years after it happened. She has also left the Church, although she is still sympathetic to it. We have a good relationship now, despite religious differences.) 

The Mormons are a cult. That’s not my opinion -- no matter which definition you use, Mormons fit it. I like Robert Jay Lifton’s three-part definition: a cult has a charismatic leader who becomes an object of veneration for members (see: Joseph Smith + modern prophets), a process of indoctrination and thought reform (see: Sunday school, seminary, youth conference, missionary training, etc.), and exploitation of members by the leader or leaders (the Church demands members tithe 10% of their income and makes young people pay money to go abroad and convert new members as unpaid missionaries). 

I found the book Recovering Agency by Luna Lindsey extremely helpful in helping me process and heal my trauma. If you were raised Mormon, I cannot recommend that book highly enough. 

It was a dark time in my life, but I feel like it’s equipped me to help other people process their own trauma, heal myself and others, and champion religious paths that celebrate individuality and personal freedom. I wouldn’t be the openly queer, pagan, Reiki-practicing, social justice advocating witch I am today if not for my time as a Mormon and the resulting healing process. I wouldn’t go back for anything, but I’m glad that my experiences have led me to where I am today.