#I really... have gotten through a lot
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May your hardened heart be woken By the soft and distant song Of all you left here unspoken All the shards we keep stepping on - Take this body home Take this body home Call the wind, and let her know Take this life outgrown Take this broken soul Call the stars, call them all And take it high, take it far, take it home
#svsss#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#bingqiu#sqq#lbh#scum villain#heard the song Take This Body Home by Rose Betts and it nearly took me out at the knees#it really really suits sqq's self-detonation in hua yue city right? i'm not the only one feeling this?#considered adding some literal shards for them to be stepping on - since sqq's sword explodes - but i couldn't quite make it work#anyway this has been playing like a music video in my head for the past couple days highly recommend listening to the song#if you haven't heard it before#can't get over the absolute dissonance between how sqq views this scene and how everyone else must feel about it#like to him he's just completing his plan - hopefully keeping lbh from destroying a city with energy imbalance and escaping The Plot#nbd! he and sqh have planned it all out it's FINE :) off he goes!#meanwhile everyone who loves him - including lbh who worked years to get back to him and is trying to work through a lot of grief#and resentment and doubt and longing and... - watches him DIE in FRONT OF THEM#just collapse while coughing up blood sword disintegrating energy completely consumed#like holy hell sqq could you traumatize the people around you any more???#no wonder lbh went a little bit crazy after that like my man was already not in a great place but what the fuck#lbh watches his shizun presumably sacrifice himself for him ONCE AGAIN like after he's finally Gotten Strong his shizun is STILL#coming to harm in an effort to make up for his shortcomings#my art#most of the time out here drawing what amounts to muppets and then sometimes i get the urge for this and just need to cover everyone in blo
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It's a clear, beautiful summer's day, the type of day that starts out bright and full of birdsong, that ends looking up at the stars and the moon while crickets chirp and fireflies show soft bursts of light. When the air is warm and full of life and the smell of hot grass and lavender and honey permeates everything.
The whole summer had been like that, really. Running outside with abandon, chasing each other through the tall grass deliriously happy and lying down in the fields surrounding their village, watching the clouds float by while they eat cucumber sandwiches. It's the summer before their first year at Hogwarts; the Sallow twins know that their life's about to change and are determined to enjoy their last summer of childhood.
Maybe they're too old for this sort of thing - they are eleven, after all, but both of them know that this summer is a turning point for them and they want to cherish every moment for as long as possible. Their parents have been encouraging them, often sending them out for the whole day, piling journals and ink and quills and picnic baskets full of food in their hands, encouraging them to research and be curious about the world around them as they had always done.
This day, however, their parents are almost eager to push the twins out of the house. Their mum's smile doesn't quite reach her eyes. Sebastian feels nervous about this, but doesn't realize why until much later, when the memory is analyzed and remembered during his dreams. (definitely not while awake). When they leave the house in the morning, she makes sure to kiss each of them on the cheeks which she normally never does and Sebastian pushes her away in disgust, much to his future horror. In the moment, all he can think is that he might still be holding on to the last moments of his childhood, but he's too old to be kissed by his mum.
(but now, Sebastian doesn't know if his memory is faulty and he is adding moments that never actually existed in the first place. the mind is a tricky place)
He never allows himself to think about these halcyon days, the perfect-until-it-wasn't summer before they went to Hogwarts; this day in particular is forbidden to remember. His unconscious mind rebels against his iron will.
They spend the morning looking for the fairies that Anne had dreamed about the night before. She's convinced that it's a prophetic dream and they march around in circles in the little copse of trees - a forest to the two children, who haven't really ventured out of their village - as Anne tries to remember where she had seen the fairies in her dream.
Sebastian is happy to follow her even if (maybe especially if) he thinks it's a futile adventure - what else are summer days for?
They're in that strange junction between childhood and adolescence; desperate to just grow up already and become the people they were always meant to be, and yet just wanting to spend their days being kids, without a care in the world.
"Come on, Sebastian," Anne calls to him, a tiny stream gurgling between them. In one hand, she's holding the map that she drew as soon as she woke up; in the other, boots stuffed with her stockings.
Sebastian huffs as he trudges behind her, arms full with their bags, his shoes, and the picnic basket. Anne had offered to help him carry things, but he refused on principle. Their dad is always doing small things like this for the women in his life, and Sebastian wants to be just like him.
Anyways, Anne has her own role as the leader today, and it won't do to have her bogged down.
And he's eleven, more than old enough to carry everything.
He steps through the tiny creek, mud and slush squishing through his toes, and he smiles. There isn't anything he loves more than being outside, except maybe being outside with a good book.
"Keep your eyes peeled for a tree with a knobby trunk, with lots of knots that look like faces," Anne tells him, glancing over her shoulder, then turns her face back to her map and scrunches up her face. "In my dream, the fairies lived nearby."
They spend the rest of the morning continuing their fruitless search, laughing as they walk in circles, then set up their picnic in the field next to their house.
"What do you think Hogwarts will be like?" Anne asks, a dreamy look on her face.
Sebastian doesn't look at her when he answers. He lies back and stares at the clouds. They've already had this conversation hundreds of times since their Hogwarts letters arrived, both of them have their parts memorized. "Amazing. I can't wait to actually be able to use our magic instead of just reading about it."
Anne rolls to her side and props herself up on her elbow, getting a better look at her brother's face. With a smirk, she says, "I think I'll like Transfiguration the best. I can't wait to be able to turn you into a -"
A huge noise interrupts her before she can continue. Sebastian sees the confusion in her face before he truly registers that something has happened. It's like everything's moving in slow motion and all he remembers clearly whenever he dreams of this day are his feelings of confusion and disbelief and the smell of fire.
There's a huge explosion and the air is full of smoke and he and Anne are scrambling up, the picnic blanket tangled up around their bare feet and -
Hand in hand they run in the direction of the huge black smoke that is billowing up. It coats the air - they can't see anything and the smell of burning fills their noses and the smoke fills their lungs and they're coughing coughing coughing -
Sebastian doesn't want his sister anywhere near the blackened husk of their former house but he is also terribly afraid to be alone. They stand in the middle of what used to be their house, blackened half-walls, charred wood that used to be their table, the old couch they read on every night, it's all smoldering, all gone, the thick black smoke making his eyes water and choking and smothering everything in its wake. His mind can't comprehend what he's seeing. Everything is so familiar and yet so wrong.
He doesn't know how long he and Anne stand there, clutching each others' hands like they are a tether to reality. Which, he supposes, they are. They might be there thirty seconds, ten minutes, one hour, an eternity...
Then, neighbors are running to the twins, coughing, covering their faces in the crooks of their elbows as they conjure blankets with their wands and wrap Sebastian and Anne up and drag them out of what is - was - their home.
This part is always hazy. Sebastian can't remember if he cries. Or if he even says anything. He just stands there with Anne, the smoke thick and oppressive as it pours out of their house. Everything is crumbling apart.
(A hand gently caresses his scalp, fingers light and reassuring as they dance through his hair)
Their neighbors try their hardest to salvage what they can. The daguerrotype that their mother had cherished more than anything, taken a few years before, miraculously survives. Sebastian stares at it, the tiny figures moving and laughing and smiling as though everything is perfect. He wants to throw it and break it or maybe rip it up to shreds but he can't bring himself to do anything but stare.
Their father's wand is also shoved into Sebastian's hand, unscathed. It was found just outside of his father's curled fingers, lying pristine on the ground as if mocking the destruction that it caused.
At some point, their Uncle Solomon, who they've only really seen once a year growing up, shows up with a loud crack and tears through the rubble, tears carving wet tracks through the soot on his face. His voice goes rough with desperation and when he walks up to the two orphans, he is almost unrecognizable.
As if in slow motion - maybe an after-effect of the curse that has destroyed their lives is that the air has turned into molasses - Sebastian watches his uncle stagger over to them. He looks much older than Sebastian remembers.
Later, when Sebastian looks at his reflection in the mirror of his new home, the boy staring back at him also looks much older than he remembers.
Before It Felt Like A Sin, Chapter 14
#i was rereading through random chapters of my fic (as one does) and I really like this scene#it always makes me a bit weepy ngl bc I’m a crybaby#but I like it😔🫶#anyways my low-effort post of the day#im not sure if I ever put these two drawings in the same post??#anyways here they are…my two little rascals💓#i literally LOVE this drawing of Sebastian so so much it holds a special place in my heart#and I’ve gotten like 200 followers since I posted this give or take so if you haven’t seen these drawings yet!!!!#that’s one thing I hate about social media tbh. everything immediate and then we move onto the next#create create create & these drawings take me a long time (even though I draw like crazy😆) so to just have them be a one-day thing…idk…#so maybe sometimes I repost old art I like a lot😌😌😌#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow fanart#anne sallow#hogwarts legacy fanfic
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"Ford is grateful for your patience and willingness to be involved in his life, especially as he knows he wasn't good at opening up to you when you were starting to become friends let alone a relationship." This is from Stanford HC, and I find it very interesting! How would he act at the beginning of the relationship? What does it take for him to become friends with someone, and that evolves into romance?
My thinking behind this part of my HCs is what Ford has been like through the series, he is shown throughout multiple media in the GF series, that he has continually pushed people away as part of his wound of feeling isolated due to his intellect and polydactly. Through this wound he's actually developed over the course of the series and his time in the portal a lone genius hero archetype that he wants to fit into, to compensate for the hurt he has continually felt from others and being an 'outsider'. (I could go into this in more depth about where this comes from in his childhood and how it affects his outlook when he comes across bill/building the portal, honeslty, but this is the jist of what I want to get across).
(rest under cut)
It's only really once we get to weirdmageddon and post-oddpocalypse, that Ford's arc comes full-circle into healing this wound for good --> as we know Ford has a fair few people in his life who love/care for him, in the past (Bill era) he was unable to see it, but once he exits the portal he begins to care for the twins and value them (and stan, even though he doesn't show it); this makes him take a similar route in trying to defeat Bill still largely on his own, because he doesn't want the people he loves to be in danger and blames himself for Bill's hold on their dimension, thus Ford thinks it's his problem to deal with --> Once they start working together to defeat Bill is the turning point for him to realise that he was wrong and that in order to defeat Bill, you have to work together. [I think he even says that he realises he was foolish for thinking he had to go it alone and that there are people who love him that he can share the buren with, I think in Journal 3 or TBOB (can't remember which rn).] I would argue that it's not until Stanley's great sacrifice in order to save the kids/the world, after screwing up the circle magic thingy, that reality hits him like a ton of bricks and he starts being more open and quickly starts to heal his biggest character wound.
So, considering this in a potential relationship, I think Ford, is generally closed-off, which hasn't helped him in the romance department in his life in the past! Whilst I can see the judgement of others and his outsider status socially would impact this as well, being closed-off and individualistic means that when he does come across someone who would be a good prospective partner, he just... assumes they'd not be interested or overlooks them because he's doing something important and isn't thinking of romance in the moment, so if the other person flirts with him he's not good on picking it up. [I'm finding this all terribly relatable!]
With the insecurity from his wound on top of this, it doesn't make for a good mix, Fiddleford, for example, was not only an assistant but quite a great friend to Ford that he didn't appreciate at the time and due to the added influence of Bill wanting to isolate him from people, Fiddleford ended up having his attempts of deeper connection being thrown back in his face! Whilst a lot of this was unintentionally done on Ford's part, he did tell him when he left that he "didn't need anyone". In the past at Backupsmore Uni, he says that there's not a lot of people he finds 'smart enough' to be on his level to be friends with - which is textbook classic defensiveness to reverse that 'no-one understands me' mentality into something that props up his ego instead. Pushing people away means that he won't have to face the rejection he continually experienced in his childhood, but it means he's potentially pushed away people who could like him as well!
So, I think that in the beginning of a budding friendship/potential relationship, Ford would not be the best at connection or communicating his feelings openly, he'd likely step on other people's toes (metaphorically) in social situations, without realising or meaning to offend someone.
That said, I think it'd be easy for him to become interested in someone who is clearly talented and intelligent, someone who similarly values higher education yet also has a similar love for that which doesn't fit the norm/is bizarre. Perhaps someone who is also deemed a societal 'outsider'. He's been feeling lonely for so long that if you're persistent and kind and can get him to talk on the subjects he loves, he'll start to see you as a friend. I think that being kind and thoughtful with gestures (acts of service) and gifts either to him or his grand-niece/nephew are other things that will make you stand out from the crowd, too, for him to see you as a genuine good person and friend.
However, he will struggle to open up and to let out his natural self (nerdy, passionate, dedicated, 'weird'), so it will take a while to deeply connect to Ford if you're friends, and even longer for him to realise you're interested in him romantically and to act on it.
I think in that stage of 'good friends that are attracted to each other', he would have fallen for you fast; but at the same time he doesn't trust that you are romantically interested in him, even if you have said that you are, part of his mind tells him that it's a trick, a joke. You might think you want to be with him, but you'll leave him soon enough when you realise he's so inexperienced in romance/relationships etc, etc. I think a lot of his old wounded mentality would surface and he's try to push you away, if you get together post-weirdmageddon, or would just shoot you down intentionally/unintentionally if you get together beforehand. Furthermore, he has been a 'loner' for most of his life, particularly after 30 years in the portal, so it's difficult at first in a relationship to share the more mundane things, since he's used to being on his own.
Ford would overthink things to the point of anxiety at the very beginning of a relationship and make it more awkward than if he just relaxed! ^^' He's a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to planning dates, too (reminds me of dipper with the list lol), though it's sweet, cause he cares so much to make it good for you! Once it goes wrong a couple times, you'll both find the humour in it and he'll realise he's being foolish again and relax a little. You'll have to give him reassurance and go at his slow pace in the start of a relationship and he'll find some confidence, probably quicker than either of you anticipated too! He's liked you for a long time by the time you get together, so whether he intends to or not his passionate nature leaks through ;)
#answered asks#stanford pines imagines#gravity falls imagine#stanford pines x you#stanford pines x reader#tbob#this is more of a character study really but I hope this answers your questions anon :)#i have a lot of thoughts on stanford's pov/thought process through the series because i find his outlook somewhat relatable#as someone labelled a gifted child and had a narcassistic abusive father myself#its not surprising to me that someone like Ford developed this certain outlook and fell for Bill's manipulation#drives me a little crazy that some don't understand his reasonings and why he didn't choose other options when Bill revealed his true natur#btw i'm not saying stanford is right and stanley wrong they're both equally in the right AND wrong that's the whole tragedy of their storie#anyway these tags have gotten of topic; i just really love ford ok? ^^'
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Day 3: Connection
You were once me, I'll never be you. Let's meet again, in the next--
#Orion's Art#Kingdom Hearts#KHX#KHUX#Player Character#khoc#khocweek#khocweek2024#''A mountain of skulls it is'' responded the Bodhisattva#''But know my son''#''that all of them''#''are your own''#been doing lots of weird things with their hair in this series#I'll keep going and see where it leads#I saw someone talking about refillable tech pens#while drawing this#I do not have resources to even start down that road#but I definitely Thought about it#I'm also terrible with pens#no matter how long I draw#my coordination hasn't gotten any better#I also push down too hard#I'd likely bend all the nibs#still... comics... <- is currently suffering through a comic#I don't like the colors on the other two#so I didn't really color this one
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i am a chronic "i need to watch that"-er, and i'm very lucky but also cursed to be surounded by excellent friends always recommending me excellent things. and i finally want to get off my keyster and actually WATCH them, but i have so many different serieseseseses i'm in the middle of that it's really hard to commit to one. so i made a watchlist of every series i'm either watching, beginning to watch, or wanting to watch. and then i decided to do the same with movies. and books i'm reading/want to read. and decided i should keep track of my art ideas and projects too. and this is great because with the shows especially, i've made a system where i watch one (or more if i have the time) episode of a show a day, and then make my way down and alternate between shows every day. and so far this has been working out great for me. but standing back and looking at my list is just making me say Oh, god. if you're wondering what's Eliza watching/reading/needing to work on, i have excellent news for you:
i'd also like to add that this is all on top of a continuation of last year's resolution in which i have thousands of golden age cartoons listed in a google doc, i roll a random number generator, and let it dictate the GAC i watch for the day. i am drowning
#my Letterboxd is @ducktracy if anyone wants to follow along i don't rate or review everything i watch but i've gotten better#about it in the past year#today was a Princess Tutu day and omg it's so cute#i also used to be an avid SU fan when it was new and kept up with the first 2 seasons or so--i want to go back and watch through it all to#give closure to 12 year old me. crazy it's been 12 years. and plus it'll be fun to watch it in an environment that is not 2016 tumblr SU#discourse. my parents got me The Shining and Carrie for xmas and i've really been enjoying The Shining i gotta add that to my movie list...#also Three Cabs is Three Caballeros. A LOT OF THESE ARE REWATCHES but revisiting for clarity like Ojamajo Doremi for example which ive#probably seen in full 4 times. i've been rewatching Klaus and im excited to rewatch The Nutty Professor and The Odd Couple#very excited to revisit EEnE with the cartooning appreciation i have now..#anyway. there's a lot#AND THERES STILL STUFF MISSING I HAVE TO ADD COW AND CHICKEN AGHHH
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No undo button, we die like the kings of hyrule
#they die a lot#ok small rant but do you know how hard it is for me to understand the undo button?#I carve eggs. EGGS.#my primary form of art for years has been on something that's very breakable- but also every stroke I make is completely irreversible#I can't erase a layer of eggshell I carved and I can't cover it up or like. add more eggshell on top of it fhcjdhxudjd#same with etching glass- I can't undo anything there#the closest I've gotten to an erase button before is carving rocks- which you can't take back a stroke but won't really be visible#unless it's really deep and intentional#and I can erase pencils if I sketch it out on an egg first#but other than that it's just. if I make a stroke in art in my mind it's there permanently because there's no going back#If my drill skids across an eggshell while I'm doing it I change the entire design to accommodate that and make the mark look intentional#so this undo button thing makes no sense to me!! If I make a mistake should I not just keep going??? and find ways to work around it#because that's what I have to do with eggs#Also there's layers- and doing layers in digital art is actually easy for me to grasp because I've carved emu eggs#(emu eggs have different tiny layers of colour I can carve through)#but the undo button can die by my blade#like the kings of hyrule to gavondoofies. yes.#personal#lol????
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Fluent Freshman - Part 19
PREVIOUS
There’s a couple things about FF that might be good to know at this point.
1. There are few things in the world he hates doing more than asking for clarification or admitting he doesn’t understand / know something. The thought of going up to someone and admitting that he hasn’t perfectly comprehended the situation upon the first explanation is something makes his stomach twist like he’d just eaten Mango-Habanero ice cream.
He has figured out his own math theorems in the pursuit of not having to ask the math teacher to explain he doesn’t understand. He got lost in an Ikea once for over 6 grueling hours where he considered making a home there and living among the display rooms until his grandma grabbed him by the ear and dragged him to safety (the food court) and let him regain his strength (eat Swedish meatballs). He, to this day, is not sure about one of his foreign language friend’s names (how embarrassing he just keeps waiting for someone else to say it but they go by some insane nickname).
So he has become a master of piecing shit together on his own. He sometimes gets it wrong (Andrew, god how embarrassing) but for the most part 8 times out of 10 he can get to the right answer if he just has a couple pieces to work with. No one had ever actually explained to him how Exy works and he was too embarrassed to ask after the third week of practice in middle school so he just pieced together what he was and was not allowed to do through the art of trial and error. He’s even mostly pieced out the rules for the other positions.
So with the information he has gotten through people being bound and determined to talk in foreign languages in front of him he has an idea about the tenuous situation some of the older Foxes find themselves in.
He’s heard Kevin Day and Jean Moreau talk in French.
He’s heard that the anxiety in both of their voices as they talked about their futures and owing 80% of their salaries to the ‘Moriyamas’ and how nervous they were about getting on professional teams or else they’d be killed.
Captain Neil and Andrew are not always using Russian to talk dirty.
He’s heard Andrew soothe Captain Neil’s worries about playing for a professional team. He’s heard Captain Neil mention that at least ‘Ichirou’ would likely just kill him and not make a game out of it like his father did.
Organized Crime might have more to do with Exy than FF had originally thought.
(He had thought it. Plenty of times he had thought it but his Gran had warned him that he was overthinking things. That he wasn’t playing a sport invented by the Mafia. That he had caffeinated coffee instead of decaf. “It’s going to be okay sweetie. Just take a deep breath.”)
This leads into the second thing you should know at this point.
2. Before he had signed with Wymack he had known the broad strokes of Captain Neil’s life. There had been a lot of news articles about it and Gran (bless her) loved trashy gossip magazines.
After he had signed with the Foxes he had done a bit of a deep dive on as many of their controversies as he could find. There’d been things from brawls on the court (worrying), player overdoses (concerning), a straight up MURDER (Oh god), and the very public breaking of the King of Exy’s arm resulting in his suicide (Warranted, that wacko was going to take off Captain Neil’s HEAD.)
But the thing that had made him actually a little bit, dare he admit, excited to go to Palmetto was the fact that Captain Neil was there.
For someone who froze for almost a decade, who just took it and didn’t have the balls to even react? Neil Josten is an inspiration.
This is someone who got away, who lived a life completely unlike FF’s, someone who knew how to run and more impressively someone who learned how to FIGHT. Captain Neil was being hunted but he still ripped people to shreds in interviews. Captain Neil was probably more scared of the Butcher than FF had been of anything in his entire life but Captain Neil was way braver than FF could ever hope to be.
Captain Neil was taken and tortured but he still fought. FF had seen the scars and Captain Neil is right to wear them proudly (though based on some conversations he has unfortunately overheard he is sure Andrew may have a role in Neil’s positive feelings about them).
FF had thought that he was being lead to his death down in a basement of a club (Don’t cringe. Don’t cringe. Don’t cringe. Don’t-) and he just trailed right behind the two of them without even an illusion of a fight.
Neil Abram Josten was a bit of a personal hero.
He’s proud to call him Captain Neil. He wishes Andrew hadn’t been there when Greg had mentioned wanting autographs because FF wants an autograph from Captain Neil but now Andrew has probably mentioned it to Neil.
Long story short, FF had looked into a lot of details on Captain Neil’s case.
Including two of the Butcher’s top men who were still on the loose.
Romero Malcolm and Jackson Plank.
He keeps his presence low but no matter how many times he blinks the man grumbling in Italian next to him continues to be Romero Malcolm.
Moreover Romero Malcolm continues to grumble about the fact that he is having a hard time finding ‘Nathaniel’ and that he’ll have to grab one of ‘The Wesninski brat’s friends’ to draw him out.
FF is a recently confirmed friend of Captain Neil.
FF who is standing next to this man, with his dick out, and trying to remain as invisible as possible.
After two shakes (Yes he was watching but only because he had to! He wonders briefly if he goes to the FBI if they would accept a description of Romero Malcolm’s penis for the wanted poster? Probably not but it is BURNED into his retinas.)
He watches as Romero tucks, zips, and then bypasses the sink entirely.
FF shivers at how unhygienic that is. Who RAISED him?
The door shuts and FF needs to get out of here ASAP but his hands are shaking with the sudden adrenaline of ’One of the FBI’s Most Wanted just took a piss next to me and is looking for me friend’. He pulls his phone from his pocket and ducks into one of the stalls. Even if there’s no door it’ll at least FEEL a little safer, a little more private. He needs to warn Neil, Warn Andrew, and warn-
The door to the bathroom SLAMS open and music blares in (palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy-) and his phone slips out of his hands and into the toilet. There are footsteps coming towards him and FF digs deep.
He’s in ultra stealth mode. He is the wall behind the wallpaper. Mantis shrimp can only dream of the color he becomes, the United States military have the CIA on the look out for him because he’s fallen off all conventional forms of radar and tracking.
He is a bargain fruit platter on a dessert table at a kid’s birthday party.
He is ULTRA stealth.
Romero’s gaze glides over him.
Then the man leaves (STILL DID NOT WASH HIS HANDS).
His heart is hammering in his chest but he manages to reach down and grab his phone. Well, Coach Wymack had gotten the extended warranty at least. (“Do you know what these fuckers do to phones? Josten crushed his last year in a fight with the Baseball team captain.”)
His phone’s extended dip into the toilet water had not done it any favors in working properly.
Well fuck.
He wipes his phone down the best he can. He wipes his phone down with some toilet paper before cramming it into his pocket (Sorry Nicky, he’ll wash the toilet water pants if they survive).
He sees a flyer on the wall of the bathroom and starts to think of a plan.
He rushes out of the bathroom (he still washes his hands because he will not have something in common with a man on the FBI’s most wanted list and he just dipped his hand into a CLUB TOILET) and clocks Nicky’s wild arm movements and WORSE clocks Romero just 10 clubbers away.
He sees Romero’s eyes lock onto Nicky and a smile that terrifies him.
He’s out of Ultra Stealth Mode even if every atom in his body wants to run.
He is so stressed and panicked that he has gone beyond his body’s ability to process that so all that is left is determination. He’s got a head full of a half-baked plan, a hand going to his pocket, a second hand on the only ‘weapon’ he has on him, and a stomach full of acid.
He’s pulling his phone out of his pocket before he can really let himself think about it and walking up next to where Romero is standing. He holds his toilet water phone up to his ear and does the one weird social anxiety thing that he had never done before.
He pretends to be on a phone call.
“Hey Captain Neil,” he says and in the corner of his eye he can see Romero’s gaze shift from Nicky (surrounded by an adoring public, covered in sweat and therefore difficult to grab - a difficult target) to himself (alone, shorter, and probably looking like he’s about to pass out). “Yeah I think I’m going to take a break outside after I grab quick drink and then a water at the bar.” He says because he has to be the easier target and he has to go to the bar. “Yeah, yeah, okay I’ll mention it to that bartender guy.” He says and pretends to hang up.
He turns and he walks towards the bar and feels his pulse in his throat go to the beat of the music (success is my only motherfucking option, failure’s not).
He only knows about the alley because in the car ride to Sweetie’s Nicky had mentioned that he wouldn’t let FF’s first time be out there. He had been embarrassed but it was the only way he knew to get Romero out of the club and away from where he could hurt Captain Neil or anyone else in the pursuit of that.
He spots the bartender who had gotten the drinks for their table and his mind completely blanks on the name but the bartender sees him and smiles. “Oh you’re Neil and Andrew’s new friend! What can I help you with? I thought you were-“
“Hi, yes I am Captain Neil and Andrew’s friend.” He says a little loudly because he can feel Romero behind him and he does NOT want the man to know anything about where Captain Neil was.
“Captain Neil? Oh wow that’s adorable.” The man gushes. “What can I help you with? I won’t ask for ID for one of their friends.” He winks.
“I’d like to order the uh…” he tries to remember the exact drink name from the flyer, “…the deluxe chocolate martini?” He asks and knows he got it right when the bartender’s expression shifts ever so slightly.
“Oh yeah, how do Andrew and Neil feel about that?” He asks and oh great a coded conversation. It’s nice to actually be having a real one of these for once instead of just perceiving normal conversations to have hidden meanings.
“They don’t know. They probably prefer that I order it instead of Nicky or Aaron.” He lets his eyes dart to the wide where he believes Romero is watching him.
“I don’t know if that’s true.” The bartender says, “Nicky knows how to handle a drink and Aaron’s not a lightweight either.” He adds.
FF struggles to find a coded way to say ‘It’s not that someone’s hitting on me too hard like the flyer mentioned. It’s that there’s a mafia hitman in your club.’
Finally after a moment, “It’s not the usual kind of drink they get.” He tries and the bartender looks confused by the statement, dammit. He struggles to find a different way to say it before the bartender smiles.
“Y’know you’re really cute.” He reaches under the bar top and grabs a piece of paper and a pen. “How about you write down your number for me cutie? We can meet up sometime.” He says. “I’ll get started on that chocolate martini for you.” He says.
HE COULD KISS THIS MAN.
“I’d like that.” He says.
He writes out a quick message on the small note paper.
‘Armed. After Neil. Looked at Nicky. I’m going to the back alley. Phone is dead.’
The bartender comes back and looks at his note. “We’re out of chocolate martini mix, can I get you something-“ He hopes the club lighting obscures how pale the man got, “something else?” He asks and FF can SEE his pulse.
“Can I just get some water then?” He asks.
The bartender nods and pulls up his phone and hopefully is dialing the police and hands FF a water. His hand grabs hold of FF’s “You don’t need to go out into the alley. You could hang in the backroom with me?” He offers.
There really are some kind people in the world.
“I think it’s better if I’m not in here for a bit.” He says back and honestly he needs this kindness and he has a spare bit of courage, “What’s your name by the way? Sorry I missed it.” He says.
The bartender swallows, “It’s Roland.” He says.
“Thanks Roland.” He twists the cap off of the water bottle and takes a sip.
He turns and pretends not to notice how Romero is trying to be inconspicuous pretending to be on his phone.
He makes his way over to the alley door and notices that Romero is tracking his movements but is not following him like he did to the bar.
His heart is pounding and he can’t BELIEVE he’s doing this. He wants to run, wants to hide somewhere, wants to become imperceptible but…but…
He opens the door to the alley as the bass of the remixed song finishes.
(You can do anything you set your mind to, man)
He lets the door slam behind him and he is alone in the alley.
He was not expecting a van to come to a screeching halt in front of the entrance and for a different face to appear climbing out of the car.
Jackson Plank.
FF looks at the ugly smile on the man as he walks towards him with a knife in hand.
Okay now what genius?
MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU
NEXT
5/26/23: EDITED. Can’t believe I forgot to put the Captain in front of Neil’s name on the meme. I’m blaming the accidental early awakening.
Per your requests:
@i-have-three-feelings @blep-23 @dreamerking27 @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242 @whataboutmyfries @sahturnos @pluto-pepsi @dreamerthinker @passinhosdetartaruga @leftunknownheart @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme @tayspots @nick-scar @crazy-fangirl2524 @blue-jos10 @stabbyfoxandrew @splishsplashyouropinionistrash @sammichly @the-broken-pen @bitchesdoweknowu @very-small-flower @ghostlyboiii @its-a-paxycab @bisexual-genderfluid-fan @cheesecookie @theoneandonlylostsock @foxsoulcourt @blueleys @adverbialstarlight @elia-nna @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner @nikodiangel @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat @hallucinatedjosten @satanic-foxhole-court @vexingcosmos @chalilodimun @insectsgetcooked @angry-kid-with-no-money @queer-crows @lillyndra @themugglemudperson @readertodeath @apileofpillows @mortalsbowbeforeme @hellomynameismoo @next-level-mess @youreonlylow @interstellarfig @notprocrastinatingatalltoday @percyjacksonfan3 @queenofcrazy27 @bsmr261 @ghostlyscares @spencellio @adinthedarkroom @harpymoth @sufferingjustalilbit @anxietymoss @oddgreyhound @ohno-myhyperfixation-itsbroken @ken22789 @atiredvampire @isoldescorner @not--a--pipedream @azure-wing @bushbees @roonilwazlib-main @crumplelush @foldedaces-paperbirds @thesenseinnonsense @let-tyrants-fear @ketchupfriesandallthingsnice @legowerewolf @deadlydodos @but-we-respect-his-craft @cariniqe @zanypersonapricotbiscuit
The requests to be added to the tag list keep being spread out across a few different areas. If I missed you please just ask again in the replies I promise I just missed you.
As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?
Lillyndra it worked this time!!!
#Fluent Freshman AU#Is it a songfic chapter if it's only 3 lines? Experts aren't sure#Did I listen to lose yourself a lot while writing this chapter? Perhaps#If Nora mentioned something about Jackson or Romero in her extras I did not read it#Also gonna be honest here and state that I forgot the likely year that AFTG happened in and this is happening in 2010#So I guess this AU also involves a slight time shift#Andrew and Neil may have gotten lost in one another's eyes a bit down in the speakeasy#Really they're just being polite to get all of their PDA out of the way while FF is taking what might be the piss of a lifetime.#(They have no idea how accurate that might be)#Andrew is all set to kiss one of his favorite of Neil's freckles (yes he has ordered them from favorite to lesser favorite)#Then his phone goes off#He looks and it's Roland#Andrew: WTF is Roland trying to call me?#Nicky is busy being the Dancing Queen. If someone plays ABBA he will absolutely scream rn#I had considered a whole sequence of FF trying to get Nicky and Aaron to the safety of the backroom in Eden's#And Nicky just keeps reappearing on the dancefloor while FF is looking for Aaron#I was gonna use that simpsons meme where Moe throws out Barney and then Barney is just right back in the bar#But it got a little too crazy#But just know in this AU Nicky is canonically an excellent escape artist#Maybe Erik went through a bit of a magician phase and Nicky was DELIGHTED to be asked to be his assistant#Maybe that's how they got together#The inherent ROMANCE of magician and assistant#I don't remember if they ever really said in the books or nora's content#If I'm rambling because I forgot to shut off my alarm (Memorial Day 4-day weekend baby)#The fate of FF's phone may have been caused by some slight anger towards my own#RIP FF's Wymack phone (July 2010 - November 2010)#AFTG#AFTG AU#Andreil#FF - Pt.19
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no one FREAKING understands jo march and friedrich bhaer the way i do
#pickle pontificates#little women#it's always so so hard for me to read or listen to discussion of little women because even if people have good points#or sound interpretations#i have yet to hear anyone that sees what i see in that specific aspect of it#it's always ''jo should have gotten with laurie'' or more recently ''jo should never have gotten with anyone''#and while i understand the emotion behind the former and acknowledge the truth behind the latter#i am tired of hearing about both of those and wish someone would come along with me and see what i see in the third option#because i feel like there's a lot of really interesting stuff to unpack there through a certain lens#and i think i'd be okay at doing it. at least amateurly#i can't elaborate right now because it's been ages since i've read the books and i would like it to be fresh so i can do it justice#but i have read little women + little men + jo's boys many times over#and this is one of the few media properties that i am actually very snobbish over#i like to think i'm the number one jo march understander.#is that an incredibly hubristic thing to say about a classic novel that's been discussed to death for a century and a half. yes#but let me have this one#edit: lol i checked to see if I've ever posted about little women on here before and the only other thing was about this exact topic#back in 2019#i'm nothing if not consistent apparently
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There is something about mahiru and touma hating each others guts while also being father and son that is extremely funny to me and I can't really explain why.
Like, re-reading the C3 arc with the knowledge that they are related and that touma knows that mahiru is his son makes me laugh at this moment
because touma is literally his dad, nobody knows that he's mahiru's dad and in perfect absent father fashion the spell turns him invisible.
#The c3 arc makes way more sense with the knowledge that touma is mahiru's father#Back when the arc was still unfinshed I was kind of confused that the writer spent so much time on him#Like okay he's interesting but how does this tie into the overall plot?#The arc was sooo long and for a long time it wasn't really clear to me what the point of it was#Yeah yeah touma is abusing tsurugi but he also rescued him blah blah what does this have to do with the protagonists?Or with stopping tsuba#But if the villain is the protagonists dad and through tsurugi we see how messed up mahiru's life could have gotten had touma raised him#Then it's a lot more understandable that the writer puts a lot of effort into developing that villain and his son/little brother#Servamp#mahiru shirota#taishi touma
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make me choose
atsuhiro inukai as sento kiriyu or atsuhiro inukai as hozumi yutaka → atsuhiro inukai as sento kiriyu
#kamen rider build#sento kiryu#kiryu sento#atsuhiro inukai#inukai atsuhiro#kamen rider#userdramas#gifs.mmc#umbrella.gifs#tokuedit#please do not repost#umbrella.edits#umbrella.posts#literally need to go through more shows he's been in but i just haven't had the time and have a lot of things to do still#i haven't watched our dining table yet but even if i had gotten around to it i think sento would sweep#atsuhiro gets to do a lot with sento and i think it really showed his range bc sento is a very fleshed out character#never before had i felt the sinking feeling that i felt when sento experienced the guilt of having killed someone like that was incredible
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me: i'm super tired what if i go to bed early
my brain: what if you, after attempting to go to sleep, instead sit up in bed again, grab your laptop, and write 2000 words of jimmy having watcher religious trauma
#anyway#i havent even gotten to half the point of this fic yet#the idea is loosely:#1. evo is like a religious cult community for the watchers that jimmy was born into#2. jimmy has like. mega levels of being messed up about slowly loosing his faith/seeing through this#3. the listeners recruit jimmy as they did in evo to defy the watchers#4. the evolutionists (some; there's a lot of off screen ocs) follow the listeners and Get Out of Evo#5. jimmy sort of lives as a real world person. likes it. is still guilty over it.#6. the Games begin.#7. the general ummm. trauma#8. jimmy slips and prays to the watchers again. just anything to stop it <- we have now reached tiktok timeline#idk what happens next#i think martyn should catch him doing this in wild life and maybe call him on it#but i think it should be vague if jimmy's actually gone back or not#this is not a feel good story lmao and i can't say if i will actually finish it. (i have reached to bullet number 2 tonight)#also this whole thing is held together by vibes and prayers because i'm a little rusty on some of my lore knowledge#like i knew all this years ago but i havent exercised the traffic series watcher lore muscle for a hot second#and i dont really care about accuracy
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if you have a good vibe/kind thought to spare and could send it my way. i'd really appreciate it.
#saying goodbye to my friend murphy tomorrow#i'll be okay. it's the right decision and i'll get through.#life is just going to be really hard and sad for a while#i don't want to talk about it in any detail but i feel like i have to say it out loud#and i have this paranoid anxiety thought that's like if I don't tell people he's gone they will ask about him#snd I won't be able to handle that for a little while#I don't need acknowledgment or sympathy. I don't need to talk to anyone. I don't need cheer-up fodder#so no need to send me anything or talk to me about it really i promise#just if you can take a second to love and appreciate the animals in your life. that would be really nice.#you don't have to tell me about it it would just be nice to feel there's love out there#writing this all out is making me feel so stupid. i've deleted and rewritten several times#but i gotta because it would be a lot worse if i was worrying about not talking about it#so yeah. no need for likes or comments or dms or asks or anything. just give someone some love for me ok?#murphy is the senior yellow lab you may have seen me post pics of sometimes. he's my parents' dog but he's my buddy.#and he's gotten me through a lot. like a lot a lot#and i'm going to miss the hell out of him#and i'm so worried about my parents. they're going to have a much worse time than me.#and they don't need anything else on their plates right now#it's just everything you know?#and all at the same time too. 2024 has been just one gut punch after the other#so yeah. if you could give your pet a hug or a treat or a scratch or take them on their favorite walk. that would be awesome#this was good actually typing all this nonsense out helped a little. still don't want to talk about it but at least i have ideas for#the 'leave me the fuck alone' email i'm going to send everyone tomorrow at work
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I gave myself a writing challenge and I am fascinated by it
So basically I put the robins in a randomizer to give them a new order/role (because I just...kinda wanted to see what would happen + I like role-reversal AUs) and got results that are giving me a fucking brain blast.
Stephanie, the first sidekick who defines the role
Tim, the sidekick who dies and comes back wrong
Dick, the sidekick who saves Batman from himself
Damian, the sidekick who was never supposed to be a sidekick but would go on to prove everyone wrong
Jason, the youngest sidekick who is still the Kid Wonder
...So this is fucking wild. I've got some ideas and several of these fit perfectly (Dick's role is pretty similar to his one in canon), but some of these are fucking INCREDIBLE to explore (Steph being the first Robin is something I never even considered but tbh I kinda love it).
I probably won't write a fic or anything because tbh I don't like publishing my writing that much, but I might expand this into a full AU and post about it. I might randomize other stuff too (ie, stuff that I cannot change vs stuff that I cannot keep the same) but this fucking rules as a starting point.
#uhhh what am I calling this??#randomizedrobinsau#stephanie brown#oh my god I am so excited to figure out how tf to write this.#because she's my favorite of these characters and having HER be the first sidekick + the one who has a mentor/older sister relationship#with the others?? kickass. though I'll probably keep her and Tim's relationship as 'dating-then-exes' because I think it's funny#and then SHE can be the Robin who Tim got fixated on + figured out her identity?? holy fuck and then the angst of Tim later dying#Tim Drake#tbh I kinda wish he'd gotten a different position because 'sidekick who dies' Tim has kinda been done a lot with the standard#reverse robin aus. But it'll still be fun to write. Definitely going the Joker Junior route with this because Batman Beyond kicks ass#Dick Grayson#He'll honestly probably be the easiest. Like...his role has not changed much outside of being younger/not the one who defines this#But I still think it'll be good to see how well I know Dick beyond his eldest brother thing (which is my best way of relating to him)#Damian al ghul#damian wayne#oh this is gonna kick ass#Bruce does not want his son to be a sidekick but Damian just kinda forces his way into that role#and everybody doubts him because of his history with the league but he later proves himself more than capable#to the point that he can set out mostly on his own and still thrive#Jason Todd#Jason being the baby of the family is also something I have never thought about but holy shit it could kick ass#I really hope that I don't roll 'Jason must die' or 'Robin 5 must die' on the randomizer. I just kinda want Jason to live this time#But unfortunately I double-screwed him because he's on the 'must happen' wheel twice now. I did not think these prompts through#TBH I am so happy that none of them rolled their OG roles. because that would have been so fucking boring
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The submas brainworm is only getting stronger, so I have drafted a whole-ass comic for a new AU idea! One where Chandelure gets to take center stage and become the main character she was always meant to be~
The gist of the AU is that Chandelure has a ghostly soul-bond with Ingo, which essentially means that his soul is under her protection and he sorta registers as a ghost to other pokemon. Basically protects him from other ghosts trying to put their sticky paws on her trainer and also gives the two of them a bit of an empathetic connection. Not quite telepathy, but able to transmit complex feelings and lets them check how badly they're hurt.
Naturally, this means that when Giratina (who was honestly just trying to play around. They were given the tedious task of just opening rifts and looking through all those peep holes made them curious. So when they saw a soul that had a beautiful ghost bond, they became fascinated) snags Ingo and drags him through, Chandelure immediately feels when Giratina's power accidentally tries to overwhelm Ingo's soul and she absolutely loses her shit. Through psychically screaming and using her protective aura to try and bash Giratina, the distortion god acts like a dog that's done something they shouldn't and tries to hide the evidence of their messing around (Ingo getting fucked up via soul and getting not too gently dropped off a mountain).
I have more ideas, especially relating to how Emmet is taking his brother's ace losing her mind and how her actions affect the investigation, but if I keep going down these tracks I'm going to end up with another 90k WIP fic like i did with Naruto. (Though if people wanna see the AU written out...👀... I could absolutely be convinced. I'm very weak...)
#Whew...that's a lot of text for a silly WIP#but I honestly haven't drawn a comic in like 4 years so I'm actually kind of excited to finish this piece#not sure if I will do more...maybe if people have questions better answered through drawing...#poor Giratina. dude was just lonely#I kinda wanna have Chandelure have a Mystery Dungeon adventure to round up pokemon to rip through time and space with her#And of course she can't really communicate with Emmet#So his world is falling apart around him and his brother's beloved pokemon's insanity makes it seem like he's dead#oops...Chandelure please inform your trainer-in-law before the police arrest him on grounds of suspicion#aaaaand I went crazy in the tags too#oh submas boys...look what you've done to me...#submas#subway boss ingo#subway boss emmet#pokemon#my art#art wip#giratina#are there other submas/pokemon tags? I have only recently gotten into the fandom here on tumblr#Once I have a name for this AU I'll tag it
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got asked to draw two of my old wc rp ocs :-) left is cicadahop, right is scallopstar
#my art#wc oc#squints. its been a dogs age since ive posted anything wc oc related#oc#BUT YA!!!! these guys are old. i think i made cicadahop 2018-2019 but i could be wrong/i have no way of checking haha#and scallopstar was made 2020.? i think? both are vaaastly different#if i were to play them today i think id keep a lot of things the same for cicada. shes just a silly girl who wants to make friends and#and be kind. as for scallopstar. i think id change a lot#one reason: ive gotten a lot better (I HOPE) with storytelling now that ive been playing dnd for a well over a year#and since i also run two different campaigns. two: i have more experience writing a character with an arc that turns them into a villain#three: i was really going through it at the time so. erm. LMFAO plus i was like 16 so ANDKJFGNJDFHBGJH#but yeah!!! kinda crazy looking at my old art and seeing how much ive improved#also a weird feeling to draw them again but not a Bad weird feeling. been doing a lot of reminiscing#thank god we can copy/paste tags bc if i had to rewrite this all id be so sad HAHA#the crop was weird so i wanted to fix it before it was too late lol#since these 2 are ocs im not gonna indicate this was a request the same way i will with the other requests lol
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Hello! I was wondering if you’d be willing to take commissions someday 👀. No pressure tho! I just love your art so much
The short answer: "not at the moment, but it is very possible in the future'!
The slightly longer answer: I would have to figure out a good pricing and payment system! PD-MDZS is also where most of my free time goes, so until my life settles down a bit, I would be on the slow side to complete them.
#Ask#Even longer answer: I technically do - but it's been people I know irl asking and handing me physical money/bank transfers.#I'm working on one right now but the tricky part with pricing is that they want the physical copy of it - which is different to online comm#Fun fact: I have gotten a fair amount of commissions from a local hobbiest quilting club.#They show me their pintrest inspiration board and tell me size specifications and I draw out patterns on parchment paper.#I am probably being undervalued by a group of 50-60 year old women but they call me handsome and say I'm doing a good job so...#There was also someone a while back who asked about a tattoo design and I was *so* enthusiastic but I just got too busy to commit.#I truly do appreciate people asking - It is *extremely* flattering that you like my art enough to want to commission something!#I will re-examine my situation in a few months! Someday really is the keyword here; I think I'd have a lot of fun with it!#(All the money would go back into buying more artbooks and supplies too! What a dream!)#Through this blog I've gotten to know a few people who do commissions for a living who I will probably pester for pricing advice#Time really is the only barrier for me right now B*(
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