#I really went all in on the locked tomb this year lmao

[judithdeuterosforsomereason]

Thinking about Pokemon in the Locked Tomb universe and who Harrow and Gideon's partner Pokemon would be. Cubone and Aegislash (Shield Forme), respectively, were the first that came to mind but also:

What if Pokemon were just another thing that the Ninth House didn't really have? At least, not like the other houses do. Palamedes Sextus and his Porygon 2 he's had since it was a data glitch, Coronabeth Tridentarius and her Regirock gifted to her on her 8th birthday (Ianthe got Enamorus).

John Gaius has spent years collecting the most viscerally upsetting Pokemon he can find. Toadscool, Wugtrio, Shedinja, Drowzee, etc. He's also got shiny Bulbasaur, Charmander, and Squirtle and all their evolutions because of course he does, the dick.

Anyway what if the Ninth's just crawling with Ghastly, Litwick, Greavard, Sandygast, etc and people are just like "yeah we just don't go to [x] area anymore. fuckin ghosts, what can you do lmao." Alecto's Mewtwo is kept in stasis with her in the Tomb, no one knows where Anastasia's Mew went. Prospective congregants are discouraged from bringing their Pokemon with them bc they're a strain on already-limited resources, and Pluto isn't a great planet for the majority of types anyway.

Then Harrow and Gideon roll up to Canaan House, partnerless, and see all these weirdos surrounded by non-human entities of various sizes. Harrow, rolling with the punches, explains when questioned that Ninth House um... creatures are not very hardy and would likely have perished during the shuttle flight. Tragic, really. (Very Anastasian.)

There have got to be some sick ass ghost types haunting Canaan House, too. As tempting as it would be to say "oh, Harrow and Gideon find their first Pokemon while exploring!" I have to ruin my own fun.

Teacher gives Gideon (and all the other Cavs) a Klefki. Harrow would inexplicably have a Psyduck imprint on her immediately after stepping off the shuttle, and it never leaves her alone.

Also. You probably don't need a deadly neurotoxin if you're trying to kill a bunch of kids on the Ninth. Drifloon's got them.

[iantimony]

last tuesday of 2023!

i thought about making this my Yearly Roundup for last tuesday of the year but i think instead i will make this a normal tuesdaypost, and do a big yearly reflection on friday or saturday for last shabbos of the year :)

listening: twilight mirage, still in that holiday special, episode 23. the way that there are eight fuckin episodes for that special........in part 1 or 2 they make a comment how they might have to do three parts and i was like. lol. lmao, even. i'm in the bit right now where they're doing an election and it's very funny. thisbe as the debate moderator made me laugh out loud.

reading: the best part of the game awards this year was the fashion, alyssa mercante: i looooved some of these looks. love the art corset on slide 4, jay-ann lopez on slide 15, the pleated dress on slide 17, the MATCHING BABY ON SLIDE 19, and the author's whole everything on slide 20.

sff's big fat problem, r. k. duncan: i was already aware of some of the stuff talked about here but i am definitely guilty of having less overt things - i.e. goblin emperor reference in there - totally fly by me. i feel like i saw a lot of people talking about rowling's fatphobia after she went mask-off but she is definitely on the more malicious end of the spectrum, it's a much much much more baked in problem than people give it credit for. thinking also about the locked tomb, which i love, but also makes some very weird comments about ortus that i did not clock at all until someone else pointed it out. just something i'm thinking about lately.

the world is hard, dinner doesn't need to be, julia turshen: what it says on the tin. some recipe ideas, cut down to mental bare essentials.

old growth, brawlite: saved the fanfic for last. obsessed with this. it's so so good. the format is a really neat idea that i don't know if i've seen done before. like, using the 'comment section' to point out 'things in the background of shots'? genius. i am eating it up. i should have signed up for this exchange. maybe next year.

playing: fallow. i might buy some games that are on sale tho lol, i've seen both pyre and ghostwire: tokyo recommended this week. latter is no longer on sale unfortunately but i am noting it down for later.

watching: the fashion industry hates older women, mina le

history of bathing, bernadette banner

aaaand a short film that a grad student in my department made as a project. it's. not good. like i'm happy that he's doing hobbies or whatever but this short film commits the cardinal sin of being neither good nor bad, Just Boring. 2/10.

making: the [redacted project] is almost done!! i have 10 rows left. each row takes me about 15 minutes. i will definitely finish it by the end of the week, fringe and all. no pictures yet for obvious reasons but it will be in the first tuesdaypost of the year for 2024! the biggest challenge now is the point of contact on my left hand where i rest the knitting needle against my middle finger is aggravating on a sensory standpoint from overuse, so i have been knitting with one glove on that hand which has helped a lot.

there was a preview of these last week, but i added finishing touches to my gavle goat holiday cards! i used a metallic sharpie to add some horn embellishments and wrote a little note on the back, and mailed out a bunch :)

misc: the first christmas eve/day of my life where i didn't get chinese food!!! shock, horror, etc. i'm at my roommate's family's place so i experienced a real christmas situation. it was fine. her family & their home is like ... hallmark card vibes and idk how i feel about it. i want wonton soup :(

[mblematic]

ten books to know me

the way @broomsticks tagged me and I immediately threw myself into bed to answer this!!! books define me for better or *cough* extremely worse. okay here we gooooo these are a mix of older and recent-ish to avoid my usual Top 10

Fates and Furies by Lauren Groff — had to start with an all time fave, a book that pretty much defines what I'm looking for every time I pick up something to read. Characters you get mad at and root for anyway. A love story that's truly a love story, but much more than it appears. The writing!! The writing!!!!

On Beauty by Zadie Smith — This was the book that turned me into a contemporary literary fiction nut I think? Before I read it I was mostly reading fantasy.

The Magicians by Lev Grossman — speak of the devil!!! The Magicians, for me, defined that awkward phase where you grow out of Harry Potter but like. not really?? in retrospect I should have known I was going to be writing HP fanfic when this series became my whole goddamn personality. (Discord is my Free Trader Beowolf btw. Friends in my phone hehe)

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir — this series (The Locked Tomb) defines my life RIGHT NOW. Discovering TLT was like scraping back a layer of my calcified cynical adult self and discovering the child that still lives in my innermost easily-delighted soul. It took me two tries to read GTN and reading it the second time was truly revelatory in a way that I haven't experienced in years ........... cannot explain but I cried several times reading Harrow the Ninth and sometimes I get weird and shivery about how fucking good and special and unique this series is.

Sorrow and Bliss by Meg Mason — I just loved this and it ALSO made me cry.

Beowolf: A New Translation by Maria Dhavana Headley — I really like Beowolf, I think it's so bizarre and funny, and this translation is hilarious and so special.

Manhattan Beach by Jennifer Egan — I love books set in New York City (SORRY) and Jennifer Egan is wonderful, and this book especially is like. so sexy and good

The Raven Cycle (but specifically The Dream Thieves) by Maggie Stiefvater — haha. Yeah. Well, u kno

Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie — just love it!! a love story!!

Grief Lessons: Four Plays by Euripides, translated by Anne Carson — hard to pick an Anne Carson so I went with the Tumblr fave lmao. Give Anne Carson The Nobel Prize In Literature 2023

ANYWAY this was fun I could go on but I'll stop. Tagging some bookish pals: @femme--de--lettres @billsfangearring @tahtahfornow @pancakehouse @maybebabyplease heheeeeeee can't wait to read all ur lists

[bread--quest]

hii, for the end of the year asks! 9 - Best month for you this year? 14 - Favorite book you read this year? 21 - What’s something new about your place of residence (room, home, or general location) now vs the start of the year? 22 - Favorite place you visited this year?

yaaaay thank you!

9 - Best month for you this year? hmmm....off the top of my head i would probably say july or august? loved my summer job a lot this summer!

14 - Favorite book you read this year? this assumes that i remember what books i've read and when i've read them. hang on let me check something [disappears] [reappears] okay yeah probably nona the ninth, the third book in the locked tomb series. nona my belona. (i was gonna say the world we make but i got that last christmas and read it all before 2023 even started lmao)

21 - What’s something new about your place of residence (room, home, or general location) now vs the start of the year? well. um. i'm at college. so. different state. different city. different building. just the one room instead of a whole house. no longer have the ability to make myself toast (sucks) but i do really like my roommate (excellent). also back in my hometown, the movie theater that's been around since 1923 but has been closed for like a year trying to find new owners finally found them and reopened!!! it's in the hands of a nonprofit now!! this is HUGE news for the town and for me personally and i'm very happy about it <3

22 - Favorite place you visited this year? BALTIMORE!!! ...wait shoot that was last year. hell. i guess philadelphia then? SPECIFICALLY i met a good friend of mine in philly and we went to this weird interactive art installation thing called otherworld. that was really fun :>

[gideonthe9]

didn't know you could only play it once! makes the playthrough even more special though. also arthur was such a great protagonist even though he was doomed by the narrative...

i will let you know! i started reading it yesterday!

i loved the locked tomb series! all the characters were so vivid and well-written, it made them lovable. also, the story: top tier. we need more books like that, really!

new zealand seems like a peaceful and serene place also, more sheep than people: count me in lmao.

it's not difficult to be kinder than any european could ever be. we host so much hostility, it's ridiculous. any photos you have taken you feel okay sharing?

also, more of a mundane question: favourite d&d class?

you can technically play it multiple times ofc, but the whole point of the game is to uncover the mystery of what is happening to the universe so it kind of ruins it if you know the answer lol. im playing the dlc now (which is pretty much the sequel) and its so much fun even tho im shit scared haha. arthur is one of my favourite protagonists in any video game ever.

europeans just have this superiority complex that we've never managed to shake off apparently lmao.

here are some pictures i took. i went for quite a while so i have like 3000 of them, i didn't know which ones i had to pick haha.

my favourite d&d class changes every time i try a new class lmao. i have a soft spot for druids cuz that was my first class (and they're unkillable), but i LOVE monks and i've been playing a barb/fighter for more than a year and i love that as well.

[sleepyspoonie]

I posted 1,161 times in 2022

17 posts created (1%)

1,144 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@zenosanalytic

@renthony

@saltedswan

@queerpyracy

@curiouscarnifex

I tagged 699 of my posts in 2022

Only 40% of my posts had no tags

#the locked tomb - 136 posts

#ntn spoilers - 63 posts

#mauveen tag - 59 posts

#revka tag - 35 posts

#ollivander tag - 34 posts

#homestuck - 33 posts

#lysette tag - 26 posts

#animals - 20 posts

#pride tag - 17 posts

#poetry - 16 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#and also taped up a conversion chart in the closet next to our dresser that does celsius to fahrenheit so they can actually understand the

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

was DISTRAUGHT because the quilt my mom made when she was a teenager seemingly got lost in the move to our new house, and we couldn't find it anywhere in any of the boxes or in our old apartment

i cried the whole way home and my wife made it their mission in life to find this thing, bc it's one of my most cherished irreplaceable possessions, and naturally my wife Does Not Want Me To Be Sad. promises to open every box, go through the car, root through the roomie's stuff, the works

they were horrified to find out they were the criminal the whole time, when they found it in a suitcase they had stuffed under the bed without ever checking to see what was inside of it 😳

19 notes - Posted June 21, 2022

#4

me: our anniversary is coming up soon my wife: yeah :3 me: we've been married almost three years my wife: yeah :3 me: and you only just realized today that i have heterochromia my wife: SHUT UP!!! ):

25 notes - Posted August 29, 2022

#3

my wife has lost their voice and whenever I don't do what they want they just aggressively wave this post in my face

25 notes - Posted December 3, 2022

#2

Help, a young dragon decided my root cellar is her new lair, what do I do? (URGENT)

107 notes - Posted September 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i don't know who needs to hear this, but you can refuse to be weighed at the doctor's office. they don't need it to evaluate anything about you unless you're getting anesthetized or something, so if having your weight taken at the doctor's office stresses you out, consider asking to opt out of the process to save yourself the anxiety or triggering experience.

your weight is actually only documented for insurance purposes because insurance companies require doctors to gather a certain number of biometrics to get reimbursed for your appointment. you can just refuse to be weighed and they'll just take another metric instead.

this is especially valuable for fat people and people with or recovering from eating disorders, but it can also be beneficial for anyone who simply doesn't want to be subjected to scrutiny about their weight when trying to get treatment for an unrelated issue. If the doctor really needs your weight for a specific treatment, they'll let you know.

here are a few ways you can tell your doctor's team that you don't want to be weighed:

"i'd like to decline to be weighed."

"could you please add a note to my file that I'd like to decline being weighed for all future appointments?"

"i'm in recovery for an eating disorder, and I need a note added to my file that i shouldn't be weighed when i come to your office. could you help me get that added?"

"i should have a note in my file stating that I don't want to be weighed." (if you're being asked after you've already told them to note it for you)

please feel free to spread the word around! fatphobes dni.

#cw weight discussion | #cw weight bias | #cw doctors | #cw medical | #cw medical fatphobia

216 notes - Posted July 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[whetstonefires]

I posted 11,002 times in 2022

That's 846 more posts than 2021!

177 posts created (2%)

10,825 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@beatrice-otter

@pavlovs-pigeon

@brawltogethernow

@vesperway

@audreycritter

I tagged 1,968 of my posts in 2022

#hoc est meum - 245 posts

#lmao - 84 posts

#mdzs - 75 posts

#ask - 61 posts

#laugh rule - 34 posts

#locked tomb - 29 posts

#batman - 25 posts

#cql - 22 posts

#blogblogging - 20 posts

#anonymous - 19 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#the thing is tim has definitely not gotten that much taller so. bernard shrank??? i want to write a fic about the diegetic supernatural inci

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Oh protip for recently diagnosed glasses-wearers, that they don't necessarily tell you at any point in the acquisition process:

The 'polishing your glasses on your shirt' trope in fiction goes back to when glasses were actually made with glass, which is as you learn in any introductory geology course fairly abrasion-resistant.

Modern lenses, which are plastic--yeah yadda yadda hi-poly resin blah blah, it's plastic--are less robust, and if you go around rubbing smudges off on random fabrics without rinsing off any and all dust particles first you will micro-scratch them foggy faster than you'd like.

1,787 notes - Posted March 16, 2022

#4

Me trying to determine what range of months it is reasonable to feature a pregnant goat in a farm scene: gotta go to the How To Breed Goats website.

How To Breed Goats has informed me that while continuing to breed your female goat past age 10 is likely to significantly shorten her life expectancy, so maybe don't do that, the males are going to die in what's middle age for a not-overbred female regardless.

because goats have a heat/rut cycle, and apparently going into rut is really bad for the health.

a/b/o fandom i hope someone has taken notes on this and done some hilarious angst about the short lifespan of the average alpha.

2,799 notes - Posted September 7, 2022

#3

again, so many cql/mdzs modern AUs set in america and never one in which nie huaisang is like:

so i knew this dude in high school, right, who invented a new kind of nuke and so naturally the government recruited him to work in Defense before he even finished college but then he went rogue about an ethics issue with refugee camps and became the most famous terrorist in living memory and died in a police shootout

and that's the guy i, the Secretary of Education, want to help me kill the President.

3,477 notes - Posted April 18, 2022

#2

i do not like this update that collapses the note count into a simpler number. it is bad. that was not a thing that needed simplifying. i promise we can all round in our heads.

not only do i despise imprecision in general (and resent that in order to know the exact note count on a post i would now have to do math on the breakdown screen) i liked watching the note count go up by one when i pushed a button; that was valuable enrichment for the monkey. fix it.

4,292 notes - Posted April 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I love when people say Alfred Pennyworth is the most sane or stable member of the batfamily because like.

This is a man who had two exciting careers before he even stopped being 'a young man,' and then stepped up as a butler because it was his estranged father's dying wish

and then when his employers' son was orphaned accepted custody, and just

has been basically cosplaying a butler as 80% of his visible personality for thirty to fifty years.

He fell sideways into not-exactly-parenting and was like, welp, guess this is my life now and just. Continued to not-parent his ward long after he was a grown man, enabled all his weirdness, helped him slightly-more-openly-parent a succession of kids while always maintaining his posture of being an employee.

Did not have any real personal life and also has no coworkers to speak of.

Could have changed any of this at any time and repeatedly chose to not do that.

This man is a lunatic. This man is a cornerstone of all subsequent lunacies.

It's extra funny when the batfam says it because it's perfectly believable they would think so because 1) their baseline is so warped and 2) that's what he wants them to think.

He may in fact personally believe that he's the Only Sane Man In This Belfry, although he is wrong, but he for sure knows he's not actually okay. He just feels it's his duty that none of his charges notice it. Because it's not their job to worry about or care for him. Only the other way around.

Yes I am saying all this in the present tense even though he's still dead, because time death and comics are all fake anyway.

4,462 notes - Posted June 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[impossiblepackage]

Adding this in at the end because I started this post in one place and came to some new conclusions by the time I got to the end, but I think that the entire Locked Tomb series is about love and all the different ways that love can manifest, up to and including evil shit.

99.99% sure that John's imperialist efforts for the last ten thousand years are only possible, only happen the way they do, because one of the ships got away. They killed the planet and left everyone to die so he really killed it and the rest of the solar system to make sure they didn't get to just go on, but he failed, and they got away. Think about that for a minute.

Imagine what it must have been like to finally find where those trillionaire assholes went. Suddenly discovering a group of people living somewhere you and the people you killed and resurrected have never been. Going somewhere entirely new, and finding humans where you expected to find nothing. I imagine he first thought "what the fuck, how did they get here?" At least until he realized how they got there. They lived like gods back on earth, and fucked over everyone along the way right up until the end when they hijacked the "save humanity" project to save themselves and only themselves. They lived like gods back on earth, but now he is a god. A vengeful one, at that.

I dunno. Obviously John is an evil, selfish, hateful man, but this all started with trying to save the world and watching a bunch of powerful people decide that they didnt want to save the world. In a lot of ways, the Locked Tomb series is about love. It's about a bunch of other things, too, but I think it's mostly love. Every character, every story beat is in some way about love. Love haunts these books. It looms.

Harrow is made because her parents love their House, and they love her in their own weird kinda fucked up way. They wanted the absolute best they could give her and it turns out that evil space wizards cand give a lot. Gideon isn't loved by anyone her whole life, and craves it so so so much. The necro-cav pairs of the 4th and 5th love each other and others so much that they're willing to die twice. Ianthe loves her sister and her self and most of her choices are fueled by that. Camilla and Palamedes love each other, and the Lyctors all love their cavaliers. I could go on, but honestly I can't think of any plot points that aren't driving by at least one person's love for something or someone. Which leaves John, Emperor Undying, Necrolord Prime, TurboHitler, Complete Bastard, and....scientist? The story of his rise to power is the story of a scientist his compatriots trying desperately to save as much of humanity as possible. A single ship is about to escape, chock full of the rich and powerful, their loved ones, and their servants employees? Not if my suitcase nuke has anything to say about it. He tells the world "if these fuckers try to leave us here, I'm gonna blow them to hell" and they said "lol. Lmao, even. We out." and next thing you know, he killed the entire solar system and some of them still got away.

I dunno man, I feel like if John didn't love the world, he wouldnt have been trying to stop the ship. He would have been trying to get on that ship.

[bulletnotestudies]

MID YEAR BOOK TAG

thanks for tagging me @the---hermit <33

number of books i've read so far : 45 (not counting dnfs and books i put on hold)

best book you’ve read so far in 2022 : i'm not gonna count rereads for this bc surely we all know those take the cake; my faves have gotta be beach read, the anthropocene reviewed, the love hypothesis and a marvellous light

best sequel you've read so far in 2022 : again - not counting rereads (the dream thieves and the raven king), the one i enjoyed most was probably lovers like us

new release you haven't read yet, but want to : oh definitely book lovers and we all fall down

most anticipated release for the second half of the year : the atlas paradox. period. (though honorable mention to the sunbearer trials)

biggest surprise favorite new author (debut or new to you) : oh idk this is quite hard, i was surprised by how enjoyable i found ali hazelwood's writing, but i gotta say i love loved freya marske's writing that made me give a historical fiction story 4.5 stars; overall though, i'd say emily henry is def among my faves now (even though people we meet on vacation wasn't really that good for me. but beach read? LOVE.)

newest fictional crush : augustus everett, need i say more.

book that made you cry : :) no book has ever made me cry (yet)

book that made you happy : well obviously the ones i mentioned as my faves, but also my beloved rereads of the dream thieves, the first two aftg books, also top secret and the charm offensive (idk, i've been in a huge romance mood this year) + i reread the vampire academy which was my ride or die when i was younger so you know it sparked so much joy

most beautiful book you've bought so far this year (or received) : i adore the design (both the colors and just the visual image) of exciting times and cursed bunny (this one is GORGEOUS irl, both the front and back cover), but the prettiest is def the one i bought for myself on my bday when i of course went to a bookstore with my best friend - all that's left in the world (it's even prettier irl)

what books do you need to read by the end of the year? : oh don't get me started lmao - lemme just list 15 that come up first bc u bet i have plans for this year asdbhjnkql; the tarot sequence, under the whispering door, hepdale rain trilogy reread, iron widow, the atlas six reread & the atlas paradox, the house in the cerulean sea reread, the picture of dorian gray, bunny, cursed bunny, portrait of a thief, kingdom of the wicked, alone with you in the ether, the locked tomb series (reread #1 and read the next 2), the cruel prince

Tagging : @upside-down-uni, @hold-fire, @dutch-polyglot, and whoever sees this and wants to do this (i mean it)!

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb part 6.1

🎶 Back on the bullshit I never got off🎶

Is this another unnecessary story arc?? With three sections??

Yes.

Wushanju Crew Chat

Wang Meng: You know, I’m someone who appreciates consistency in my day. My life is pleasant, very few issues indeed if you ignore the big ones. And yet. Yet here we are. With unresolved messes at the end of a day.

Wang Pangzi: SOMETHIN YOU NEED TO SAY MARY POPPINS

Wang Meng: We need to talk about Huo Daofu and the glittery bead curtain.

Wang Pangzi: MY FAVE TEEN WIZARD SERIES

Wu Xie: did you turn on that suggested word thingy lol

What glittery bead curtain

Wang Meng: I closed the shop at 6:00pm this evening on the dot. I locked all of the doors in and out of the shop very carefully, especially in light of recent events. The hall leading to the back office was empty. I filed the day’s paperwork, updated and sent emails, and then spent an extra hour organizing receipts and dusting. When I came back out, there were glittery iridescent bead curtains over the front entrance to the shop.

What could this mean?

Wu Xie: uh that you need to spend less time at work?

Wang Pangzi: LOOKS LIKE WE GOT ONE FOR THE DETECTIVES. THE MYSTERY OF THE BEDAZZLED THRESHOLD COMMENCES

Wu Xie: I think we can be relatively secure in thinking a glittery bead curtain isn’t a hostile threat

Wang Pangzi: SAYS YOU

I REMEMBER YE OLDE EXPLORATION TIMES HOW FAST THINGS GOT FURIOUS

BEANBAG CHAIRS SET AFLAME AND LEFT ON DOORSTEPS AS A WARNING

GLITTERBOMBS FOR DAYS

PANIC AT THE DISCO

Wang Meng: Ugh, forget it. I should have just taken them down, regardless of who they belong to.

Zhang Qiling: They are not mine.

Wang Pangzi: A BOLD STATEMENT COMING FROM OUR PRIME SUSPECT

SOMEONE QUICK GO DRAW CHALK AROUND THE DOORWAY TO MARK THE SCENE OF THE CRIME

Wang Meng: Do we know anyone who *would* sneak in and put those up? For whatever reason, legal or not? Even as a joke?

Wang Pangzi: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING WHETHER WE KNOW ANYONE WHO IS CHAOTIC, AN OUTLAW, A PRANKSTER AND/OR SNEAKS INTO PLACES

BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN OUR SUSPECT LIST IS LITERALLY EVERYONE WE KNOW EXCEPT FOR YOU.

Wu Xie: okay let’s think about this; for starters, I didn’t break into my own shop

Wang Meng: You would be in danger of doing some work in the process, that’s true.

Wang Pangzi: LOL

Wu Xie: ANYWAY let’s keep going. For example, Xiao Ge would only break in somewhere for a good reason. Xiao Ge, did you do this?

Zhang Qiling: No.

Wu Xie: okay who’s next

Wang Pangzi: YOU REALLY MISSED YOUR CALLING IN INTERROGATION TIANZHEN

REALLY PUT THE SCREWS TO HIM

IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE;)

Zhang Qiling: How can we be certain *you* didn’t do it?

Wang Meng: Admittedly that was my guess, too.

Wang Pangzi: WOW I SEE HOW IT IS

BLAME PANGZI AS USUAL

ANYWAY HOW DOES HUO DAOFU FIT INTO THIS

Wu Xie: Oh yeah him! Oops I got distracted

Wang Pangzi: UR ENTIRE HISTORY IN A NUTSHELL

Wu Xie: Ugh fuck off

Wang Meng what abt Huo Daofu??

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wu Xie: oh sorry xiaoge I didn’t realize you wouldn’t have spent much time around him last year

He and I go way back

Zhang Qiling: Way back where?

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: I CANNOT BELIEVE HE IS BUYING YOUR INNOCENT ACT

IF YOU EVER TURN TO EVIL WE ARE FUCKED

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO HUO DAOFU IS

YOU WERE EXTREMELY POLITE AND BORDERLINE FRIENDLY TOWARDS HIM

Zhang Qiling: I wanted him to feel welcome. I wanted to be sure he understands he has a place here. A specific place.

Wang Pangzi: FOR A SILENT GUY YOU ARE A MASTER AT SUBTLE POWER PLAYS IM ALL TINGLY

LMAO THE IDEA OF WU XIE LEAVING YOU FOR HUO DAOFU IS HILARIOUS AND ALSO NOPE

Zhang Qiling: Rationally, I understand that.

Main Chat

Wang Meng: Huo Daofu is coming for the weekend—didn’t Wu Xie tell you? Wu Xie asked me to check in a week ahead so we could start getting ready for his arrival

Wu Xie: oh yeah I did do that

Wang Meng: Fortunately I know you and so I already went ahead and took care of everything.

Re: the trip

He made a deal with Wu Xie’s doctor that he would do periodic checkups on him here at Wushanju

Bc Wu Xie hates being in the hospital

And frankly the hospital hates him too

Wang Pangzi: FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT LOL

I FORGOT HUO DAOFU WAS DOING THAT

A VERY CHIVALROUS GESTURE

WOULDNT YOU SAY

XIOAGE

Zhang Qiling: Is it safe for him to be here with a criminal loose on the premises?

Wu Xie: Right, back to the curtain! Let’s focus on the curtain, hmm?

Wang Pangzi: I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS WEEKEND.

ALSO WE CAN RULE OUT XIAO BAI FOR THE CURTAIN SHE JUST SENT A SELFIE FROM NORWAY COVERED IN GREEN SLIME WITH ZERO CONTEXT, UR PROTEGE INDEED

Wu Xie: okay but who else would do something so oddly charming yet illegal and—wait.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: hey, Glasses hasn’t been in touch lately right?

Li Cu: uh nope

Unless u count the outdated memes

Why, is money or Xie Yuchen missing

Or is this curtain related, I saw Wang Meng’s tweet

Wu Xie: haha no nothing to worry about really

(I mean maybe? but who knows)

Wang Meng is probably just getting a little paranoid in his old age

Li Cu: better than getting reckless and stupid as hell in ur old age

Wu Xie: …hey:(

Unknown Number: Li Cu, we discussed this.

Wu Xie: ????????

Li Cu: *sigh* fine, reckless and stupid as heck

Unknown Number: …close enough.

Wu Xie: EXCUSE who is that

Madame, Sir, Non-Binary Tree Spirit, etc—whomst the fuck

Are you

Li Cu is underage FYI

So Im staying on this chat

Li Cu: okay first of all, it’s not like that

Second of all I’m literally not underage I s2g

u threw the embarrassing surprise bday party, okay so u should remember

And C, that’s my counselor and I invited her. She wanted to meet u and I knew u wouldn’t agree to a visit so I added her to our chat

we have been discussing u

Wu Xie: Oh wow!!!!!!!

What a surprise:)

hi so nice to meet you:)

Main Chat:

Wu Xie: RED FUCKING ALERT

FUCK THE CURTAIN FUCK THE VISIT

IVE BEEN TRICKED INTO FAMILY THERAPY BY A SMUG TEENAGER WHO TEXTS UNKNOWN NUMBERS

Wang Meng: I assume that means something to someone here?

Not my problem? Good.

Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHA GOD I LOVE LI CU

HES LIKE ADORABLE KARMA FOR ALL THE SHIT YOUVE PUT ME THROUGH

IM RAISING HIS ALLOWANCE

Wu Xie: wait i give him an allowance

has he been collecting on two allowances??

Zhang Qiling: Three. I knew about both of yours.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: so uh may I ask your name?

Unknown Number: you can call me Ms. Lee.

Now, if you’re comfortable talking in this format, why don’t you tell me how things have been going?

Wu Xie: oh everything is normal and fine and safe as usual, why do you ask:)

Li Cu: I heard about ur necklace thing. nice of you to NOT mention it.

another dangerous adventure. again. prick.

Ur lucky your cool boyfriend cares about you so much or you’d have already died like ten years ago

Wu Xie: lol try twenty years ago

Li Cu: That isn’t funny.

Unknown Number: …What?

Wu Xie: shit ur right, okay that was a bit glib, my apologies.

…I use humor as a coping mechanism?

Unknown Number: and Li Cu, how do you feel about that?

Li Cu: he doesn’t even know what that phrase means

He doesn’t cope, like ever

In fact

It’s kind of why we met

Which is a funny story in retrospect tbh

Wu Xie: haha what are you talking about sweetie hahaha need I remind you of certain anecdotes that could idk send me to jail maybe lmao

Unknown Number: …You know, perhaps an in-person meeting might be more effective?

Wu Xie: haha such a nice idea but why

Main Chat

Wu Xie: If I go to jail, I’ll have to create alliances for protection, right, that’s how it works on tv

Who do we know who spends time in jail

Other than Hei Yangjing, he’s only ever there for like 12 hours and i suspect he just gets himself arrested bc he enjoys the breaking out process

Also how’s the curtain case coming along

Zhang Qiling: Has someone threatened you?

Wu Xie: well not yet but soon I’m sure

Wang Pangzi: WHERE WAS THIS PARANOIA WHEN WE GOT TAKEN TO THE TEA HOUSE HUH

Snake Eyes Minus Your Fucking Therapist Chat

Li Cu: okay how tf did u pull off spy and undercover shit

u are sus as hell

Wu Xie: damn son is it pick on Wu Xie night

I missed the flyers or I would’ve invited my uncles

Also re: the curtain it’s been mostly solved

Li Cu: I’m not your son, idiot.

Wu Xie: …oh. Sorry, sorry, you’re right, bad choice of words, haha

Forget i said anything

Delete this chat even

Li Cu: shit I meant

Legally, biologically, I meant—

shit

…I turn into an asshole as a coping mechanism?

Wu Xie: oh that’s all okay! I have to go do something else now let me know if you need anything okay kid thanks!

Li Cu: goddamn it calm down who’s the kid here

lemme organize my thoughts so I can articulate my emotions fuckin healthily or w/e

Ugh maybe for like one afternoon we could go to Ms. Lee together? She knows how to word stuff

Wu Xie: uh…okay.

Li Cu: Anyway you don’t need to worry abt jail

As if you would survive prison for one day you’d piss off half the place in like an hour or less

I gave Ms. Lee the heavily edited version of the desert highway to hell roadtrip and i discussed it more in terms of like “nightmarish but still wouldn’t take any of it back”

Well maybe the sand

that shit was everywhere

Wu Xie: oh kiddo. It’s fine, really…You don’t have to explain yourself to me.

Li Cu: no, no it’s just

I do technically have a dad

who is an asshole. Being a son doesn’t really mean shit to me bc it sucked.

So you need to stop backing down just cuz ur guilty abt stuff. I’m really really glad ur not my dad in a good way. Do u get what I mean there

Where’s the mafia widower I followed into hell, huh

Wu Xie: Ur a good kid, despite my influence. I’m really glad you have someone to talk to after everything I…after everything. Wow this talking through feelings thing is kind of weird but nice ur right

Jfc no wonder it took me and xiaoge so long to—you know what, we won’t get into that

Li Cu: ew tmi

Also re: this week’s recent necklace fuckery

I moved my stuff here, I live here now

So you can’t die anymore

Or else…Idk I don’t have a threat planned

anyways abt the curtain

Wu Xie: oh my god, kid…kid you have no idea

I am in tears.

Li Cu: see this is why I can’t be nice to you I can sense the hallmark channel from here

Ugh don’t be sad in ur room that’s dumb

Go hug Pangzi or something

Maybe delete this chat

Or the curtain thing

Focus on the curtain thing

Just stfu and go away

Wu Xie: <3 screenshotting this <3

Li Cu: I take back everything I said. This is why Xiao Ge sleeps on the roof. I hope the ghosts of the Wangs put up that curtain to strangle you somehow. Go die in a stupid way, it’ll suit you.

Wu Xie: lol don’t worry I’m not gonna embarrass you with it or anything

Main Chat

Wu Xie: omg guys look how cute my kid is *sending screenshot*

Wang Pangzi: I MEAN

HE IS WISHING YOU DEATH

BUT SURE

CUTE I GUESS

Wu Xie: no but read the whole thing:):):)

Zhang Qiling: It is indeed very hard to remain angry with you. And you are welcome to join me on the roof.

Wang Pangzi: UH NOPE

NOT WHENI HAD TO BLEACH THE COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN

DONT TRAUMATIZE THE EARLY BIRDS THEYRE ALREADY FREAKED OUT BY U YA HOODIE CRYPTID

Wu Xie: ok true but babe ur like a sexy cryptid

Wang Meng: so, are we just accepting that there is a glittery curtain of unknown origin, and Huo Daofu is going to have to see it while he’s waiting for you at Wushanju bc you’re going to family therapy?

Wu Xie: right

Wang Pangzi: SHOULDA TAKEN EARLY RETIREMENT HUH

Wang Meng: I’m going to go dust something.

Unnamed Chat:

Unknown number: so the curtain…

Unknown number 2: yep, not my best work but I kinda panicked last minute u know

Unknown number: what is in the water at Wushanju that makes everyone dumb and attractive

Unknown number 2: relax they’ll figure it out

[aethersea]

you know what, I never do these things, but actually I’ve decided I would like to get to know people better! I would like to partake of the mortifying ordeal! I would like to talk about myself for a bit!

ok for the next...let’s say five days I will answer any of these things that people tag me in, or any random personal questions you plop in my ask box. I don’t have an ask meme on hand but just....pick one you’ve seen recently, or make up questions of your own, and I’ll answer. (the answer might be ‘nope that’s private’ but I will answer.) (@ the anon who asked for book recs - I see you, I’ve been thinking of books all day, I’m going to give you SUCH a long answer, I hope you don’t regret your choices bc it WILL be full of gushing)

alright, let’s go!

🌻 Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

Tagged by @booksandchainmail​

Last Song: I’m currently listening to “Falcon in the Dive” from the Scarlet Pimpernel musical on loop. I watched one or two Scarlet Pimpernel movies when I was just barely too young to fully get what was going on, and the story’s held an odd but deep-seated place in my heart ever since. A few years ago I found out there’s a musical and most of the songs are pretty stellar (go listen to “Madame Guillotine” if you like big ensemble broadway numbers, it’s a banger, the bit where he cries out for God has been running through my mind on and off for a few days now haha not like that’s topical or anything), so every once in a while I spend a few days listening to them a lot.

Sometime last year I read the actual book, and got super into the whole concept of the Scarlet Pimpernel for a while. I plotted out Pimpernel aus for several fandoms, I read the entire wikipedia article, and I went looking for bootlegs of the musical. I didn’t find one, but I did find a full radioplay-style recording of the script, complete with full musical numbers, and listened to it like a podcast.

Reader, I was so disappointed. The play adds some scenes, bc a lot of the dramatic tension of the novel comes from internal conflict and that doesn’t stage super well, and the very first scene of this play – a play written in the NINETIES – features our dashing hero rescuing some aristocrats from a French prison, and then saying to the person in the next cell, who begs for rescue but is not an aristocrat, “We have enough of your kind in England.”

Enough! of your KIND! What in the merry frickety HECK my dudes!! The book has some rather unfortunate™ takes but it is from 1905, it’s regrettable but sadly to be expected. This play is from 1997. It has NO excuse. This scene wasn’t even in the book! What! the heck!

I was so disheartened that I lost my excitement for the play, and a couple songs later I stopped listening. It occurred to me just a few days ago that you could actually stage that ironically, with the person in the cell giving the audience a “can you believe this” look, and then the rest of the play could feature assorted non-aristocratic ensemble members constantly looking at the audience like they’re on The Office. And hey, maybe that’s what they did, or something similar – maybe that was never meant to be taken as a cleanly heroic stance, and the play deals with it in a complex way. It’s possible. I wouldn’t know. Kinda doubt it though, based on song lyrics.

Favorite Color: red, probably

Last Movie: I watched that new lesbian christmas movie with my family for christmas, the one with kirsten stewart and the guy from schitt’s creek. it’s very sweet and good and kinda sad, and I really enjoyed it. it also incidentally has the best gay best friend trope in probably anything ever, bc it’s not a trope (I didn’t realize until several hours after watching that it technically fits), it’s just a guy who is the protagonist’s best friend, and they’re just all gay, and then when he Gives Relationship Advice as a gay best friend always does, it’s advice about how to deal with your partner’s hangups around coming out.

actually every part of the gay best friend trope becomes better when they’re just best friends who are both gay. the big dramatic gestures (in this case, driving some ungodly distance in the snow on no notice) go from “haha how kooky” to “queer man will do anything he needs to to rescue his queer friend from an isolating & potentially triggering situation”. the relationship advice isn’t “honey you deserve some self-respect, treat yourself”, it’s a deeply sincere reminder of the vulnerability that is shared across almost everyone’s queer experience, and look I could ramble about this for a long time before reaching a coherent point but I’m INTO IT, okay? I’m into it.

Last Show: you want me to remember what show I last finished???? impossible, cannot be done, it was a long time ago and the adhd has eaten everything that happened before last week. here, instead I’ll tell you about another movie I watched, late at night with my mom in cozy companionship just a couple days ago. it’s called Quigley Down Under and it’s about a cowboy who goes to Australia and kills a bunch of racists, 10/10 would watch again. it’s from 1990 but it feels much older, with the music choices and the cinematography of a 70s Western. the cowboy is great, honorable and fearless and kind, but the breakaway star of this movie for me is the woman who attaches herself to his side and refuses to leave. her name is Cora, and she’s crazy, in the sense that she’s not altogether tethered to reality, but this never for a second diminishes her agency. she’s fierce and clever and compassionate, and she basically never does anything she doesn’t want to in the whole movie. her arc is about overcoming trauma by taking charge of her own fear and facing it head-on, she is never belittled or dismissed by the narrative or the protagonist, and look she’s just so cool. I love her. she’s so vibrantly alive. her story could probably have been handled with a bit more nuance, but honestly for the 90s it’s pretty great. I’m no expert, but I found nothing objectionable in it, just a bit of heavy-handedness.

anyway the theme of the movie is that racism is evil and racists deserve to be shot, and this too could have been handled better (not a single aboriginal character speaks a single line of english in this movie), but it follows through on that message in every way, while still being a fun kinda campy cowboy movie. overall a very good time.

Currently Watching: started showing my sister Hilda the other day, and she’s liking it! I love that show, it’s so incredibly cute. can’t wait to see season 2

Currently Reading: lmao I wish. lately the brain has firmly rejected all attempts to read anything of any length. currently pending, bc I was halfway through them when my brain stalled out, are tano’s fic What Does Kill You Can Make You Stronger, Too, a Toby Daye book - I think it was The Brightest Fell, I got like half a chapter in and haven’t picked it up in over a month, the Locked Tomb series, and probably a few other things too. ooh! also a book called Making Sex by thomas laqueur, which is my fancy academic reading that I’ve been doing in short bursts for the past year or two when I feel fancy and academic. it’s about the development of the concept of biological sex and of gender in Western society, and it’s fascinating. has among other things introduced me to the idea that until quite recently, fathers were a matter of faith. the mother? yeah, you can watch the baby pop out, we all know who the mother is. but the father? how can you know? how can you really know? we have paternity tests these days, but for all of human history up until now, we've just had to take fatherhood on faith. (not to mention we didn’t even know what fathers were contributing to the production of a fetus. clearly it was something, since you can’t get pregnant without a penis getting involved, but we have literally not known what until the past few decades. and that is wild. it has colored ALL of human history, all of our conceptions of society and family and kinship and gender, all of it, and it hadn’t even occurred to me until it was spelled out for me in this book, and it’s just......wow.

Salty, sweet or savory: for christmas my sister and I made seven different types of cookie, most of them involving chocolate somehow.

Craving: no bc I ate so many cookies. unless sleep counts. or maybe pringles, it’s been many moons since last I had a potato chip and I miss them.

Coffee or Tea: no thank you

Tagging: @coloursisee, @krchy-tuna, @sam-j-squirrel, @xzienne, @mirandatam, @viciousmaukeries, @sepulchritude, @elidyce, and @navigatorsnorth bc it’s been a while since we’ve talked, and I’m super hyped that you’re married now. v happy for you!

[iantimony]

TRIUMPHANT RETURN OF THE TUESDAY

first tuesday again no problem instead of tuesday again (problem) in a while

listening: twilight mirage! the TM soundtrack was my study music as well so twilight mirage all the way around. i just finished miracle of the mirage and have moved into the transition eps to the new system. my friend told me he listens to shostakovich's festive overture before exams and i thought about trying that but idk if im powerful enough for it. also shostakovich is gym music. to me. and i dont want to ruin that association

reading: this locked tomb fic was ... i think reblogged by someone i follow? it's not bad. i feel like the characterization of camilla is a little strange but also it's a perfect lyctorhood + 700 year time skip au so it's not a huge deal. large portion of it is very horny, for some reason the nsfw sections were not hitting, i did skim most of them, otherwise excellent distraction from studying.

i also found this very charming. i'm not normally a DC superhero person but i think the conceit of a normal ass person who is incapable of being killed and is acting in a believable way about it is very cute and fun.

watching: some misc youtube videos, evan and katelyn etc. nothing substantial otherwise.

making: oh i be making! my pottery stuff is all coming along, i really hope some of it gets fired before i leave sunday...no pictures really of those guys at the moment but rest assured. there will be images when the glaze fires are done

yesterday after my final (well, after the nap after my final) i started working on the print block that i've been rotating in my brain for weeks

might be girlbossing a little close to the sun with the numbers on the dial but we'll see....

i also went to life drawing yesterday, the 5min poses and my first attempt at the long pose were flops but my short gestures and second attempt weren't bad

i wanted to spend more time on the cloth but i was just using. a mechanical pencil with hard lead. and it was a huge pain in the ass.

misc: after weathering a weak of giga-antibiotic (fine) and a steroid treatment (bad), i am reluctantly probably going to get little tubes put in my eardrums like i am a child. it will be. fine. im excited to not feel dizzy and uncomfortable any more. enormous pain in the ass though. basically a full month of bad ear hell has really not made the end of this semester any easier.

on the plus side, my monday final (8am, lmao,) is done! goodbye quantum!!! no promises til i get my grade back tomorrow obviously but my gut feeling is that i probably passed the class. he really asked some ass questions (all semester ive been like "there's no way he asks us to derive clebsch gordan coefficients WELL,) but it's over. so. hurrah. next tuesday again no problem will be at home with a puppy >:D

[nialltlynch]

mid-year book freakout

thank you @flitwickslittlebrotha !! i have been in a reading slump and this is just what i need to get back in the groove (probably)

Best Book You've Read So Far in 2021? I'm gonna say Alone with You in the Ether because I read that book in one night, and then reread it again in the same week, then went back to snippets that I enjoyed many many times since then which is practically unheard of for me (i usually dont revisit things at all and if I do its years later)

Best Sequel You've Read So Far in 2021? said quietly with my head in my hands...Mister Impossible.

New Release You Haven't Read Yet, But Want To? A Swim in a Pond in the Rain i guess????? I dont really keep up with whats new and what isnt, im very bad at it. thats the only one on my list that i know for sure was released this year.

Most Anticipated Release For Second Half of 2021? cheating because this list is long and I dont want to read the whole thing: Aristotle and Dante Dive Into the Waters of the World

Biggest Disappointment? I have zero hopes for most books but I did not finish These Violent Delights. did not like that one At All.

Biggest Surprise? bro the Wizard of Oz books are fun! I remember reading the original and Ozma of Oz way back when I was a kid but I went through a read a bunch of them sporadically throughout this year and they're just. so fun. I was surprised by how much I've enjoyed them because I usually only go for one or two out of a series but they're such small bites it's easy to consume a few of them.

Favorite New Author? not really favorite and not really new, but daniel handler? I only read A Series of Unfortunate Events for the first time back when the netflix show was coming out and I didn't realize he also wrote The Basic Eight which I read this year and enjoyed. so I have a few of his other books sitting on my tbr for whenever I get around to it, which is about as favorite as it can really get with me. (but i have misgivings about him even though i know nothing of him so eh)

Newest Fiction Crush? charlotte regan <333

Newest Favorite Character? I remember having like. a week long freakout about mr. gregor dandolo to the point where I made a pretty sick graphic edit about him. I still do think about him sometimes and even though I have absolutely no interest in the overarching plot/other main characters in the founders trilogy, I'll probably skim through the last book for any gregor crumbs. he's got potential that I enjoy.

Book That Made You Cry? does Crush count? i dont cry much at books or anything but this certainly elicited a lingering feeling of sombre reflection.

Book That Made You Happy? all the books in The Wizard of Oz series! again, they're just really fun and cute.

Favorite Book Adaption You Saw This Year? the only book adaption I know for a fact I watched was Shadow & Bone which I really enjoyed despite never finishing any of the source material lmao

Favorite Review You've Written This Year? I dont really write reviews. I tried making edits for each book I read, which was sort of reflective of how I felt about them maybe? the one i made for The Bone Houses has received the most attention. I should get back to that. very fun.

Most Beautiful Book You Bought So Far This Year? I like my owl crate version of Mister Impossible because it has a sword on it (but kk! all the covers have swords on them. please shut up I do not see the cover 🙈)

What Books Do You Need To Read By The End of The Year? good question!! i dont really have any MUST READS but ive really really been meaning to read The Left Hand of Darkness (or any other of her works really), The Locked Tomb trilogy, and/or The Scorpio Races.

thank you!! i dont really know the cross section of who is currently reading and who's already done this but i will tag: @semicolonsandsimiles @mintmemories @bookwormlostinwonderland @laneway. no pressure, as always.

[dotsayers]

20 Questions: Writer’s Edition

tagged by the beloved @myrmidryad 

this is a LONG one so here’s a cut to avoid do you love the colour of the sky syndrome

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

101 after a recent purge... no one may know about my Past

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

329004! used to be about 350k but again... purge

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

on ao3 i’ve written for (chronologically) doctor who, skyfall, discworld, les mis, star trek, lord peter wimsey, marvel (various), in the flesh, red vs blue, roosterteeth rpf, check please, hockey rpf, star wars, daredevil, rivers of london, dishonored, emmerdale, dirk gently, holby city, hot fuzz, kj charles, guardian, the covert captain, taskmaster rpf, good omens, ghosts, roswell new mexico, leverage, schitt’s creek, the magicians, 9-1-1, it chapter two, the magnus archives, the old guard, the mandalorian, the ritual, the locked tomb

way back on the pit of voles i wrote for twilight, harry potter, hetalia and xmen first class. and on the newsround chatrooms i wrote exclusively harry potter fic about my oc neville and luna’s daughter

as you can tell i am not prone to staying in one fandom writing wise, i tend to end up with one complete fic and seven abandoned wips concealed deep in my google drive

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

finally see what it means to be living (captain marvel, carol/maria, i really hit the zeitgeist with this one i think i was something like the fifth fic in the ship tag)

do whatever you think (the magnus archives, this series is actually #2-7, then #8 #9 and #11 for me so i’m going to cheat a bit)

standing in a world of my own (daredevil, matt/foggy/karen, another zeitgeist hit! really miss writing for daredevil actually... it’s a perennial fave)

a winding road that stretches towards the truth (iron man, tony/rhodey, i STILL don’t know when this got so many kudos. i swear i looked away when it was at 100 and suddenly it ended up here)

where the long shadows grow (star trek aos, kirk prime/spock prime, thank god some people are checking the prime kirkspock tag is all i’m saying!)

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i don’t really Do angsty endings... possibly a blanket of stars just because i ended it on something of a cliffhanger and then completely zoned out of rnm for long enough that i forgot where i was going with it. there was definitely the intention of fixing things but then i just... did not do that. and now the show is on s3 and i’m over a season behind! life comes at you fast

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

where the long shadows grow, because it reunited kirk prime and spock prime and they DESERVE TO BE HAPPYYYY. i’m a complete sucker for presumed dead/back from the dead stories, actually, so on a similar theme i have two (TWO) daredevil fics which follow the trope, one about ray coming back post-s2 (might never be normal again) and one about foggy and matt reuniting post-endgame (in the corner, taking up space). this is the only time i will ever acknowledge endgame ever again

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

i do write crossovers! in fact i am often roundly mocked by my friends for the increasingly esoteric nature of my crossovers. way back in secondary i wrote a twilight/labyrinth crossover where angela was sarah and jareth’s daughter  because i had a massive crush on a girl who liked both twilight and labyrinth. however, since that has been comprehensively scrubbed from the internet, i think my craziest crossover is probably part three of ‘traced upon the skies’, already an esoteric crossover of rivers of london and hot fuzz, when i added in a crossover with the horror movie ‘the ritual’ just because i wanted rafe spall’s character to be happy 

8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

EXTREMELY rarely and only with extreme embarrassment. i will not be any more specific than that

9. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i used to really struggle with doing this, to the point that i had over 300 comments just. lingering in my inbox unanswered. so i decided to give those up and just commit to answering them from then on, which has been working fairly well for about a year and a half now. i love getting comments but i get overwhelmed really easily and struggle with replying in a way which feels meaningful without getting in my head about it! 

10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

yes lmao it was for a harry potter fic on ff.net where harry got sorted into hufflepuff instead of gryffindor. it wasn’t a very good fic but i think the fact it was clearly written by an 11 year old should have scared off at least some of the less flattering comments.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don’t... think so? i don’t know how i’d find out to be honest, my vanity googling is rarely very effective

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! as bronze may be much beautified (skyfall, mallory/bond) got translated into chinese, i was extremely pleased. i think it’s mandarin but the ao3 page for the translation doesn’t say and my mandarin is.................. extremely poor

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

also yes! me and jess little-smartass have written a lot together, although only our star trek/les mis series has been published, more’s the pity. we spent a lot of les mis fandom time workshopping aus and we were always extremely correct about all of it, imo

14. What’s your all time favourite ship to write for?

oh god. i think probably kirk/spock, although there’s some recency bias to that since i reread space manhattans recently and was reminded of my love for them. i really like writing jon/martin but i’ve mostly done that from outsider pov which is a bit different to writing shipfic, i think. joe/nicky from tog was also something i really liked writing but i struggle with plotting longer fic with them

15. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

i recently went through my abandoned fic folder so i actually have a few options for this. the obvious choice would be ‘any of the hockey ones’ but i did delete most of those just for my sanity. more recently i started writing a vaguely smutty pre-the thing mac/fuchs fic for alex @milkdrinker5000 which i really WANT to finish but am struggling with. most obscure answer (even beyond the thing) and most likely to remain unfinished is the insanely in depth post-tog booker/copley fic i had planned out back in about october. i wrote a good 6-7k of that one and then i realised it was going to be, like, difficult, and decided if i was going to put that much work into something it may as well be the novel im meant to be writing

16. What are your writing strengths?

once a friend told me i had an excellent facility for dialogue and ive thought about it every time i write ever since. i love writing dialogue and i think i’m good at knowing what sounds ic and what is right out. 

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

one of the things i struggled with for a really long time, and honestly still have trouble with, is depicting action in words. once i wrote a hockey fic which featured multiple hockey games and i spent probably four times as much effort editing those to make sense and be interesting that i’ve ever done on a talkier scene.

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i’ve done it but only when i knew more or less what i was talking about - i did italian at school so i felt confident using it for nicky in something particular and real. i try not to italicise when i drop in words from other languages, which is what i usually do when i’m using a language i haven’t studied in depth (for example, joe’s use of arabic in some of my fic), and to only use words which i’ve heard used by native speakers in that context. i think if you don’t feel confident using another language, generally speaking, you shouldn’t do it. and for god’s sake don’t use google translate for a full sentence

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

harry potter on the newsround chatboards. ariana lovegood-longbottom my sweet child

20. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

this used to be an easy question because hands down the fic i was proudest of on posting it was i’ll be seeing you. i spent a year and a half on research and writing! but these days i do cringe a little at my hockey fic, and i think i’m prouder of some of my shorter works. let’s do a curveball and say layer on layer, down on down, which is my favourite of my rnm fics and the one i like most from a narrative voice perspective. getting michael right was stressful and i’m still proud i got it down for a TIME LOOP FIC, my absolute favourite trope

tagging @little-smartass and @leescoresbies just in case they want to try this

[acciostorian]

mae reads the kane chronicles: the serpent’s shadow the red pyramid

(aka we see mae go through many emotions in the space of 2-3 days)

holy fuck ive only got to the contents and the chapters have those classic pjo click bait titles i’m so happy rn

WAIT IM SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT- the serpent’s shadow is the THIRD BOOK. uh-oh i almost fucked this whole series over lemme change the book real quick....

i’m literally on the first page and i’ve already been sent on a mission, so the kanes are THOSE bitches

SADIE AND KANE ARE BRITISH???? omg yes please

THEYRE IN LONDON MY HOME

never fucking mind they’re from LA

oh wait sadie was raised as a british kid. that’s very sexy of her.

carter be like, “you wouldn’t be interested in my dad’s lectures.” SHUT UP CARTER I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT EGYPTIAN PUNISHMENT

so sadie was raised in east london???? THATS SO SEXC BECAUSE ME TOO BOO

sadie has a british accent. a b r i t i s h a c c e n t.

FIT

“six years in london and she thinks she’s james bond” LMAO

sadie’s so emo/alt i love it. does rick always write his characters like this??

sadie pronounces it “mum” and carter says “mom”

it’s so refreshing to read mum ngl

sadie said bloke omg

i’m feeling carter’s pain. little sisters are shits and honestly sadie has the same vibes as my little sister and me and carter are quite similar. i hate this.

oh wow they really said sadie was too white for their family...

sadie did not HESITATE to be like, “yeah dad we’ll lock that guy in his office. mint.”

sadie telling the story is an experience

sadie said “maths” and “mates” in the same sentence. this is some refreshing shit.

sadie’s friends saying carter is hot is fucking hilarious. like it’s a classic piss-off to thirst over your mate’s sibling

THEYRE GETTING DEPORTED????

LMAO AMOS WAS LIKE, “yeah we don’t talk about manhattan. they’ve got their own problems. *cough percy jackson cough*”

i read thoth the god of knowledge as thot the god of knowledge

carter is right, amos has undeniable swag

philip of macedonia. the crocodile. cool.

i love how the greeks and romans be like “if we don’t honour the gods we’ll get SLAUGHTERED” and the egyptians are like “you know what? fuck the gods me and my homies hate the gods”

sadie kane would stab you in a back alley and dance to mcr as you bled to death and carter kane would take you to a museum, tell you everything about everything and then commit a terrorist attack

amos really went “don’t touch anything, the cats in charge and peace out bitches” and then fucking jumped off the balcony of his five storey mansion

sadie made that door go BANG

that fucking clay statue came to life and not one of them screamed. I WOULD SHIT MYSELF.

i’m giggling, all the greek/roman gods have really long/scary/cool sounding names like tartarus and chaos and nyx but the evilest guy in egyptian myth is called set. S E T.

please make muffin some crazy badass animal like crookshanks or swiftwind.

WHO DARES THROW HANDS WITH PHILIP?????

THE SHABTI FUCKING STOLE AN ARTEFACT THATS AMAZING

i love carter sm, even tho he’s scared as fuck he still picked up that ancient sword and was like “ig i’ll bash some heads in whilst sadie holds the cat”

MUFFIN JUST TURNED INTO SOME WARRIOR CAT LADY AND SHE INSTANTLY GAVE ME CATRA VIBES

every cat in new york is helping them

bast jacked that car like it was nobody’s business

i used to think the greek gods were stupid for having so many things to control but honestly the egyptians are taking the piss, do you really need a whole scorpion goddess?

the kane siblings are written so well. like i actually BELIEVE they’re siblings

i think carters gonna become a comfort character now... like i relate on another level. little siblings always take the spot light and you have to act level headed and calm because the younger ones start shit and you’re like “i gotta be the good one because my family would fall to shit if i didn’t behave.” so big kudos to carter, i love you

so carter’s a king huh? I DIDNT NEED YOU TO TELL ME THAT RICK I ALREADY KNEW HE WAS

zia was like “king tut?? ugh he was such a boy, there were waaaaay cooler tombs out there x x”

i read “nectanebo II” as “nintendo II” and i was like ??? when was that a thing

i drinking camomile tea whilst reading this and i feel so peaceful uwu

sadie really can do magic like THAT like bitch be like “i just copied what zia did and yeah it worked lol”

okay so i’m sorta feeling bad about sadies life rn but i’m still very pro carter

set’s laugh makes me uncomfortable. because when most villains laugh it’s usually described like “their laugh was like a knife, cold and sharp. i hates it.” but when sadie discribed set’s laugh she was like “it was warm and friendly. beautiful.” LIKE AAAA THATS A RED LIGHT

set: the god of theatre because gods dam is he a good actor

sadie saw some hot emo guy and was like “omg marry me”

iskandar be like “lmao imma speak in alexandria greek all the time but this girl bouta die? i switch to perfect english for dramatic effect”

woooOooaaaah SLOW DOWN THERE BUDDY, tongue tattoos???

zia: you guys will probably suck at this at first but oh well we all can’t be great

sadie: *makes fire first time* wooosh

sadie and kane: *doing cool shit* me and my tea: sluuuurrrp

bast is so sassy i love it

me when it’s a sadie chapter: okay ig :/

me when it’s a carter chapter: HOLY SHIT CARTER HEY OMG YOURE DOING CRAZY STUFF???? COOL. i love you.

bast: so yeah, you’d be stupid to teleport to paris, this is desjardin’s home territory

sadie and kane, lying in the streets of paris: oh cool cool

sadie: like i might die rn but i don’t care, as long as it doesn’t get filmed and put in youtube, that would be embarrassing

like ???? sis get your priorities together smh

sadie: *sees hot emo guy again in her spirit adventure, he hints that’s he’s dead or something*

also sadie: so will i see you again?

“no, an egyptian drink. you’ve heard of hot chocolate? this is rather like hot vanilla.” dam now i want some.

carter is an amazing older brother. he’s written perfectly and he’s a great character to relate to for me. even though sadie can make his blood boil, he dropped everything to calm her down when she was panicking about not being able to change back from a bird. i too have to do that for my little sister - sadie and ava are ironically the same age - so i find that very comforting that there is someone like me to relate to!

‘a businessman with a rolling suitcase was waiting by the doors. his eyes widened when he saw me. i must’ve looked pretty strange — a tall black kid in dirty, ragged egyptian clothes, with a weird box tucked under one arm and a bird of prey perched on the other.

‘“how’s it going?” i said. “i’ll take the stairs.” he hurried off.’ LMAO THIS IS WHY CARTER BABY I LOVE YOU

highkey pissed that carters like “i’m always edgy around the police. once i turned eleven they started giving me the Look. when it doesn’t happen it’s always a pleasant surprise.” LIKE FUCK NO HE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO WALK AROUND UNHASSLED WHATS WRONG WITH HIM

lmao bast be like “imma jump off this national monument. see ya at the airport in my finest clothes and jewellery x”

FOOD UPDATE: i’m eating a chocolate covered waffles and having some tea and i feel so happy rn sorry i know you don’t care but like aaaaaaa

bast called carter her little tomcat and my heart exploded

bast really likes convertibles huh

thoth: i hate rereading my old writing, my present self would never write like this now!! SOMEONE GET ME A RED PEN

are they... are they going to dig up elvis presley?

might put some elvis in for this part, y’know, to set the mood?

i cant stop reading ‘thoth’ as thot even though i know how to pronounce it

the captain with a axe for a head: my name is bloodstained battle axe 😸

yuh bast did some shit ...

imma stop now because spoilers, GO READ THE KANE CHRONICLES THEY ARE THE MOST UNDERRATED RIORDANVERSE BOOKS X X

[hyliangrace-a]

oh, i ended up spending so much time on this, but - it’s done ! it’s far from perfect but i’m pretty satisfied that there’s a visual guide to my idea of hyrule, post-seven years war. & now, god help you all, i’m gonna talk about it lmao. click here if you want to see a full-sized version of the map, but i’m also gonna put it under the cut in this post with the original map for comparison, & go on for a bit about how hyrule has, in my interpretation, changed under zelda’s rule.

( this gets long. like, really long. like, over 4,500 words long. read at your own risk. i’d say i’m sorry, but i’m really not. & fuck drawing water features forever. )

first thing’s first - the map !

( apologies for the giant watermark underneath it all but i’ve had my shit stolen before & i’m not enthused at the idea of having it happen again. clicking it open in a new tab should make it bigger if the link above doesn’t work. )

so, it’s slightly bigger than the original map which is featured in the game, haha. here’s a comparison of the two, actually, with my map over the top of the original so you can see what’s been changed or added & where. i’ll talk about what got added & why in a bit, i want to speak just about the actual map, first.

i did my best to keep the main locations of hyrule as specified in the game in the same place, & i think did an okay job, tbh ! my biggest nitpick was just how many dang cliffs & rockfaces there are on the original map. i know they serve a purpose in-game, which is completely fair, but they limited worldbuilding a little by making the map so small, so i took some liberties. not with every cliff, of course - i kept some in the southwest to keep the border between gerudo valley & hyrule field intact, & kept the ridge the river runs through - partly for the sake of continuity, & partly because i’ve always loved the fact that falling into the river in the valley washes you down to the lake. expanding them into a new area was fun, too, because at least then they go somewhere, rather than just locking you in to a certain place.

my main point of contention, to be honest, was the giant rockface in south hyrule field. again, i understand why it was there, but, come on ! so i ended up just doing away with it all, letting it lead a path to two new areas i’d like to work into zelda’s canon. the map just fades out in certain places, too, particularly the gerudo desert, so i ended up expanding that a little more & having it lead into the cliffs above lake hylia - the river already runs from the valley to the lake, so why not have more of the desert lead into the mainland ? the mountains, too, got their range expanded, because they just seem so ... small, in canon, when they aren’t being used specifically as dungeon locations. i’d say the only place on the map i didn’t expand in some way is that little gap between zora’s domain & the kokiri forest - the forest is so hemmed in & the domain is literally inside a mountain, hidden behind a waterfall, so i was happy to just let that be empty space. if you manage to climb over the cliffs surrounding the domain, or break through the treetops in the forest, you get a view of the ocean, & that’s that !

it was fun to look at the maps of the games that came chronologically before this one & see how the position of things in hyrule change, but i’m kind of glad that there was only the three before ocarina of time, because the mountains alone move across the map at their leisure, good god. there was a bit of freedom in it, too, because in zelda’s canon timeline, the gods are going to flood hyrule anyway, so i could make whatever changes i wanted because it’s all gonna end up underwater & unseen in the end - plus, it meant i could add in more mountains to take up empty space on the map, because the hylians have to flee somewhere to escape the flood, & i don’t think the peak of death mountain could hold them all. most of the new locations were inspired by the minish cap, more than any other, so i’m going to start at the top of the map & move down to talk about them.

i always loved royal valley & the royal crypt in the minish cap, to be honest. it was spooky & cute, & i’m surprised it, or a concept like it, hasn’t made much of a comeback in later zelda games. the royal family’s tomb being in kakariko village never bothered me much as a kid ( other than the fact their headstone gets utterly destroyed & you get assaulted by what we can only assume are the zombies of previous hylian rulers ??? & then it’s just left open for anyone to stumble in & possibly loot slash get murdered by said zombies ??? actually, y’know what, this bothers me a lot more as an adult, what the fuck - ) but kakariko was a village founded by the sheikah, originally for the sheikah, so i did always find it a little strange that at some point, a ruler of hyrule went ❛ that’s cool, you do you, but make space for us in your graveyard. ❜ i know the history between the hylian royal family & the sheikah is implied to be murky ( thank you, shadow temple ) but that’s a meta for another day, so i’m not gonna go into too much detail, but it’s still something that sticks out as strange to me. call it the sheikah continuing to guard the royal family in death or whatever, but, hm. weird. anyway !

the point is, after the seven years war ends, zelda decides that what originally belonged to the sheikah should be given back to the sheikah. kakariko village was opened up to non-sheikah by impa prior to the rise of ganondorf, & that’s her perogative & not something zelda would ever dream of interfering with, but that applies to the living, & those who die within the village deserve to be buried in the same place. it takes time to get around to the rebuilding of hyrule castle & its’ town, but when it’s time to plan for it, zelda chooses to utilize the abandoned valley which lies behind the castle as the new home for the royal crypt, but not solely for that ! she establishes & sponsors a university on behalf of the royal family, with special consideration going to the preservation of hylian history ( a lot was lost in the hyrulean civil war prior to her birth, nevermind the seven year war following that so quickly, & we can see in other zelda games, such as twilight princess & breath of the wild, historical preservation within hyrule is ... terrible, to say the least. of course, it will all be washed away when the goddesses flood hyrule, but fuck, at least she tries. ) the university also covers a range of other subjects, but history is the one zelda takes an active interest in, & she spends a lot of time with scholars who specialize in it. the royal crypt lies at the very back of the valley, the university being closer to the castle, & then ... watch this space ! i’m likely to add more things to areas around the map in the future.

hyrule castle & hyrule castle town i’ve left in the same spots, pretty much - i imagine the castle is rebuilt to be something like the one we see at the bottom of the ocean in wind waker, but i intend to put my own spin on that, too. zelda wouldn’t be focused too much on getting a castle up agaiin ( i’ve mentioned in a thread before that two years post-ganondorf, she is still sheltering at impa’s house in kakariko village, as rebuilding for the civilians is her main priority, & whilst i haven’t figured out exactly how long that lasts for, it’s a safe bet to say a good few years ) & she definitely wouldn’t want to be living anywhere especially y’know, grandiose & opulent, if her people were still struggling day to day. the castle town bounces back better than ever, expanding a little more to the left over time, but that’s a gradual thing. no real change except a distinct lack of redeads, which is always a bonus !

death mountain & its immediate surroundings, i was happy to leave as they are - it’s marginally wonky in place compared to the original map but it’s not a severe drift from canon, so lets just pretend it sits a little more to the left, shhh. it’s a volcano built into a mountain with a network of caves both inside & adjacent to it, plus a place of worship built into the heart of it, & you can’t really go wrong with that, so i focused on all that empty space beyond them left on the map. minish cap came in clutch again, because by fuck, did they have a mountain range, so i ended up dipping in to it for the names of this one. the gorons are clustered at the forefront of the mountain because everything beyond their city has been mined to the absolute death by those who came before for its resources, & abandoned by the same in turn, but they still send patrols to make sure it’s fine. 

there’s a story of how, before the gorons settled into the mountain, a man of great strength climbed the mountain alone to make his home within it - he faced eruptions from a then-hostile death mountain, fought off the creatures who called the range home & weren’t fond of sharing, & forged on to what was said to be the edge of hyrule itself. it wasn’t, not quite, but it was far enough away from the central provinces of the kingdom that the mountains became capped with snow, contrasting the temperate mountains to the west. the story goes that the adventurer decided to call the furthest reaches of the mountain home, & singlehandedly carved out what would become the beginning of the mines, in order to gather materials for his forge. it’s been disputed whether said man was hylian or goron, as the biggoron family claim lineage from him, but the mountains he once inhabited are named for him now, & are one of the places zelda hid whilst on the run & masquerading as sheik - despite the extreme temperatures playing havoc with her & nearly killing her, it’s one of the harder to reach spots in hyrule, so it provided a measure of safety that other places could not. melari’s hold lies in the northeast, but the cold spot on the mountain travels further south than would be expected, resulting in a cold spot - the ice cavern - to the north of zora’s domain.

real quick, fuck zora’s domain. there was no way to make the water feature coming from here look decent, or properly portray the types of cliffs it’s surrounded by, so please don’t judge it too harshly. at the end of ocarina of time, zora’s domain is still said to be frozen, but recovering from the curse ganondorf placed on it, which, great ! i’m gonna say, i could be completely off here in how it works, but i wanted to change things up a little, so if i am, i don’t mind that much. i like a bit of artistic license. also, if we can have literal fish people, a genderless species made of rock, children who don’t grow up in a magical forest which horrifically warps those who don’t belong, & a giant fucking overworld field where the skeletons of what look like fucking children come out to fight you at night ? i’m okay with this reckoning being off a little.

so, eventually, zora’s domain unfreezes. i personally imagine, as ganondorf’s power ebbed from hyrule, that the process started slow, until one day, it wasn’t. it’s said that zora’s fountain is the source of all water in hyrule, with the domain lying under the mountain it rests on top of, & a few secret passageways here & there, which is fine, usually - the fountain never froze, just the domain beneath it. that becomes a problem, though, when the magical freeze put in place by ganondorf wears off, & the excess water from the melt ends up flooding the domain. not a problem from those who live within it, with the zora being essentially amphibian in nature, but when that excess water begins seeping out into the fountain, through cracks in the mountain, through the entrance granted to those affiliated with the royal family ? that all goes over the fountain, down the sleepless waterfall, through the river, & that river completely bursts its banks. the water level of the river rises significantly, washing away much of the path previously taken by those who wished to go to the domain on foot, causing minor flooding in hyrule field as it travels downstream, & resulting in the waters of lake hylia rising when the overflow reaches it, hence the lake being larger in my version of the map. the rebuilding of a path to zora’s domain ends up becoming one of the earliest projects zelda undertakes as queen but it’s a bit of a logistical nightmare for a while, considering that, with princess ruto ascended as a sage, zora’s domain is now in a succession crisis. does it have much bearing on zelda’s life ? not especially, but i thought it was a nice bit of worldbuilding, so here it is.

kokiri forest, the lost woods, & everything within doesn’t change much. with the dark magic vanquished from the forest, & the great deku sprout able to thrive, the forest continues to grow, & overgrow. it’s still dangerous to outsiders to go within, still dangerous for anyone to enter the lost woods without a fairy companion to guide them & save them from a grim fate, but the children of the forest do grow somewhat braver about stepping out from their home to see the rest of hyrule. it never lasts long - not all of the kokiri are as brave as link was, after all, & hyrule is so vast compared to what they’re used to - but it sparks their curiosity & their desire to explore hyrule which eventually trickles down to the wandering koroks.

the area to the south / southwest of the kokiri forest is entirely my invention. as i said, in-game, it’s just cliffs to hem you in & prevent you from breaking the boundaries of the world, but there’s none of that in roleplaying, so i just … did away with them entirely. part of this is lake hylia not being as hemmed in by these walls as it is in-game, opening up into a new river & streams which travel through the south & southeast. crossing this river leads to three paths - take middle path, & you may find yourself in what’s known as the rito village. now, i’ll say here, i know that the rito don’t technically appear in hyrule until after the great flood, when the zoras somehow sprout wings, but nintendo’s strange decisions don’t change the fact that there are many wonderful people in the zelda rpc who play rito characters with crossover verses that let them interact with those who play characters in other parts of the timeline. in order to better facilitate interactions with these roleplayers, i decided fuck it, rito village in ocarina of time. canon can be easily bent. if, however, i’m writing with someone who wants to adhere to strict canon, then it’s just other hylians who live within the village, & rito is just the name chosen for the village, with no connection to the as-of-yet-unevolved race, just a nice little coincidence. regardless of who lives in it, though, the village & its name are fixed here in a southern woodland, with the village nestled amongst the hills within.

cross the bridge to the south & take the third branch in the path, you’ll find yourself inside the bremen woods. i honestly haven’t got much to say about the bremen woods here, but it’s not because i don’t have ideas for it - i have another headcanon brewing concerning myths, fables & fairy tales within hyrule, because … i am just that type of nerd. about eighty percent of my blogs before this one involved fairy tale characters in some way. it is, as the kids say, extremely my shit, & i’d like to tie the bremen woods into that, so i’m going to save what i have to say for that headcanon, but don’t worry. it’ll probably be a lot smaller than this one. ( thank god, i hear you say. i know, i know. i’m still not sorry. )

cross the bridge, then, & take the first branch in the path, & you better have a sword with you. the castor wilds are a lawless place, which is fitting for the corner of the world where the last remnants of ganondorf’s forces lie. any that weren’t killed during the restoration of the kingdom were beaten back to the edge of the world, & it’s not a friendly place. the last of the monsters shelter in a run-down settlement known as dragmire’s hold, the last place where those who sympathize with the king of evil can speak freely, & it’s murder to get to. the entrance to the wilds is a marshy swamp, thanks to the run-off of lake hylia, but if you manage to get through the mire, the land begins to dry out until you reach the hold, where the earth struggles to bear fruit & it seems the grass refuses to grow. it is, in a few words, fucking grim, & as a result, the go-to place for banishments within the kingdom. zelda isn’t a fan of harsh punishments, but she’s no fool, not anymore, & she won’t abide those who plot to throw the kingdom back into chaos, be it in service of ganondorf, or their own selfish natures. it’s rare that anyone actually finds themselves wandering the castor wilds, unless they actively choose to adventure there, but it is a very good threat, considering its reputation as the land where the devils live.

jumping across the map entirely, we come to the cliffs of coroa to the left of lake hylia. another spot on the map which is notorious for being hard to reach, the cliffs are an inviting challenge to those who want to boast of their climbing skills & durability. if getting up the cliffs doesn’t kill you ( & there is a very real possibility that it will, especially if you fall, ‘cause this water ain’t soft ) the journey down might do it instead, & that’s if you survive your trip at the top. there has been rumours of a great treasure hidden away in the cliffs for years, though the debate on what it might be was pretty intense, if you got into it. for a time, some thought the legendary blade rested within the cliffs, & only those who could brave the rockface would be able to lay a hand on it; others argued that it contained more mundane, but still desirable, treasures, such as a great haul from a band of thieves, left behind when they were hunted down by the crown, growing only more valuable by the minute. some, with sense, said that the only thing atop the cliffs was certain doom for the morons who tried to make their way up them. the truth ? there’s nothing up there. sometimes, cliffs are just cliffs, & those who try to scale the ones facing lake hylia truly are fools. the gerudo people, however, had the right idea of how to get to them.

again, another aspect of canon i was happy to leave as it was. the gerudo desert is a vast, harsh swathe of land, continuously assailed by sandstorms, bordered to the north by what is called ❛ the great sand sea ❜ & to the south by the haunted wasteland, & it’s not hyperbole. spirit guides appear to those who seek the temple of the goddess of the sand, but very few have ever made it through the wasteland if they enter in pursuit of something else. one of the few who did was the gerudo heroine, ashai. a well respected warrior amongst them, ashai was the younger sister to the exalted rishika, the chief of the gerudo at the time, & one of the first to vow to conquer the wasteland & see what lay beyond the storm. though her sister cautioned against it, as tales of people becoming lost in the wasteland were not uncommon, ashai was a headstrong young woman, & she could not be swayed. she took with her a party of twelve, & in time, three returned to tell their story. ashai had forged a path through the ever-shifting sands & left it well enough marked that her companions were able to find their way back. it’s said that some succumbed to madness during the journey, tormented by the ghosts of the wasteland, whilst others fell ill whilst they traveled, choking on the sand which gathered in their lungs. seven of them made it through the wasteland to the valley which lay beyond, but ashai had grown sick during the crossing, & knew she would not make it back. instead, she spent the time she had left exploring the valley, & found a way through it to the peak of the cliffs of coroa. the legend says that is there she died, watching the sun rise atop the cliffs, speaking only of her sister, & her companions laid her to rest within the valley, which her sister then named in honour of her. whilst the gerudo are happy to let those who have proven themselves attempt the journey to the desert colossus, no outsiders are permitted to walk the valley of ashai, where a shrine was built for its namesake - it is considered sacred to them, & the journey to pay respects to ashai is now part of the trial given to those who wish to become chief of the gerudo, should the bloodline of the previous chief die.

that covers just about all the main areas & landmarks of hyrule, i think, so to move on to the last thing, the various settlements, villages, hamlets you see across the map. hyrule is a big place. yes, quite a few of the races are localized to certain areas, & yes, it’s entirely plausible the hyrulean civil war could have decimated the population, with the seven years war exacerbating that problem, but hyrule field just looked so … empty, once everything else was finished. so, rather than stick to a number of locales i can count on one hand, i threw a few more settlements across the map to try & make hyrule feel more like a real kingdom. not to breath of the wild’s extent, of course, but just something a little more than what was given. all those who survived the fall of hyrule castle town apparently fled to become refugees in kakariko village, which was opened to all by impa, which is fair, but i imagine as the world returned to something close to normality, & families started growing again, the village would quickly find itself overwhelmed. as queen, zelda would make it a priority to make sure none of her subjects go homeless - she knows all too well that struggle - & so she would begin a program to make sure there was enough villages or townships for every one of her subjects. those who volunteered would be given a set amount of money & plots of land across hyrule to build a home, which zelda would then personally visit to inspect, to make sure her people were thriving.

there’s little to say in detail about them all as of right now, as i’m still fleshing them out, but i have a few basic ideas. most of the settlements were named after the first to attach themselves to the project, but the names have the potential to evolve over time. they certainly won’t retain the hamlet / settlement status, that’s for sure. the offer wasn’t restricted to hylians, either - any other race in the land was free to join, though only a small number of gerudo accepted it, the others preferring to stay in their homes & travel as they need. ciela’s settlement was the one spearheaded by the gerudo who accepted zelda’s offer, hence its proximity to the valley. a lot of young men volunteered to go to this settlement, but zelda was happy to let ciela make her own call, & many were knocked back - only those with what ciela deemed viable skills were allowed in, & still, it’s very much a female dominated settlement, but it is thriving under her leadership, & blossoms into a successful village as time goes on. lon lon ranch is, well, lon lon ranch. with funding from the crown, talon was able to take on more staff & expand it at his leisure, but it is one of the very few places in hyrule which has stayed constant over time, & he was quite content to keep it that way, & zelda content with his decision. 

to the south of lon lon ranch lies damia village, the largest of all the settlements from its inception. led by a fearless young man who gave his name to the village, it is a hub of activity which could rival hyrule castle town. with damia came many like-minded people, all eager to forge their own path in the world & prove themselves as he had, as he had been part of the group which volunteered to help beat back the remnants of ganondorf’s forces. many of the families within damia village are the families of soldiers who work at the castle & it has gained a reputation for being a village full of strong, capable, trustworthy people. arborwood, which lies further to the south in a more rural location, is an outlier in that the one who volunteered to lead in this settlement didn’t wish to put their name to it - they didn’t want glory, just a place to call home where they could finally live in peace. arborwood is an agriculturally focused village, filled with farmers & those who possess green thumbs. a lot of trade is done between arborwood & all the other villages - everyone in hyrule became proficient at growing & hunting their own food in the past thirty years, as was necessary to survive, but it’s nice to have a place to get food from which specializes in high quality meat & crops. why hunt rabbits, when arborwood can provide venison ? 

last but not least, lynna’s hamlet, which settled at lake hylia at the request of the owner of the lakeside laboratory. as he was getting on in years, he wished to find someone to continue his work, & so specifically requested that any like-minded hylians settle close to the lake so that he could impart his wisdom & let them take over. he got quite a few more people volunteering than he bargained for, be they scientifically inclined, interested in cataloguing the history of lake hylia, or just desirous of a change in scenery. the smallest of the new settlements, lynna’s hamlet never truly flourished the way others did, but the buildings were never empty - as time went on & people began to move elsewhere, it became a popular spot for those who traveled the land to rest at when they came to the lake, with a very successful inn eventually being run by the lakeside, its doors open to any who wished to visit.

it’s not a lot of worldbuilding when it all comes down to it, compared to other things, but this is something that i’ve wanted to do for a long time. as i’ve mentioned in the section regarding the bremen woods, more headcanons are likely to follow regarding places on the map & how they change & evolve as time passes during zelda’s rule, but for now, there’s this ! something which makes hyrule feel less empty than what it was before, whilst still respecting canon, somewhat which was the goal all along. if you’ve made it this far, holy shit, go outside & feel the sun on your face. it’s been eighty-four years - but i can’t thank you enough for reading ! at least next time, the headcanon won’t be so long. i hope.