#I really want to make a self care kit though-

[octastims]

Requests are opened!

[luxaofhesperides]

a safe place to rest - duke

(part 3 of the harmless series)

Although he hears about the baby, Duke doesn't get to meet her for a few days.

He does meet someone else though: Danny.

"You need anything before I go?"

He doesn't want to leave Danny alone in the Hatch. Not out of mistrust or anything, but because he's sure that the moment he looks away, Danny's going to disappear again. It took so long just to convince him to take a moment to breathe, to rest and recover from whatever he's gone through.

There's a frantic sort of energy surrounding Danny that has his aura all messed up, which is the only reason Duke decided against letting anyone else know that he found Danny.

He got the basic rundown from the night shift, but he hadn't had time to look more into it before Danny was crashing into him during his day patrol, eyes wide and wild and looking like his world had just ended.

"You," Danny had gasped, "You're with—Batman? Please, take these." And he shoved a bag against Duke's chest.

He had to react fast to grab it, and then grab Danny when he all but collapsed against him.

Now, he sits on top of the spare bed Duke set up in the Hatch, pale and tired and quietly devastated. "I'm fine," he insists. "You don't need to do anything for me."

Duke frowns. "Uh, I absolutely do, you think I'm just gonna leave you to fend for yourself? Come on, man, that's not how I do things."

"You don't owe me anything."

"Obviously not. It's not about owing things. I'm doing this because you need help and I can give it."

"I can take care of myself," Danny says firmly, and Duke holds back a sigh. Yeah, this guy really is Batman's kid. Horrible self-care habits and all.

"You don't gotta, though. You get that, right? You can take one day off and just rely on me to take care of you until you're back on your feet."

"No."

Duke tries to shove his emotions down, to stay neutral and calm. This is a guy who came crashing into their lives, shoving a baby into Damian's arms, and then vanishing. This is a guy who's gone through way too much on his own. Of course he's not going to trust anyone. Duke knows well how heavy everything becomes when it feels like the world's against him. He can give Danny grace.

"Okay. Just so you know, I'm asking to be polite. I'm still going to grab some extra clothes for you, and a homemade meal, so you just stay here and get some sleep. We'll talk more when I get back from delivering all this to Batman." He lifts the bag Danny gave to him for emphasis, then pins the guy down with a hard stare. "You better be here when I get back, or I am going to have no one to show baby pictures to."

"…You're gonna check on Ellie?"

The clear concern and desperation in Danny's expression make him soften. "Yeah, man. I'll check on her and let you know how she's doing. That's why you gotta be here when I get back. Got it?"

Danny bites his lip, then nods slowly. "Yeah. Got it. Thank you."

"Get some sleep."

Duke pulls the door shut, setting the alarm system to quietly alert him if anyone goes in or out while he's not in the Hatch. There's a first aid kit on the table and some water bottles as well, but it's not going to be enough to really help Danny start to recover. Duke takes a moment to curse his past self for not better stocking his crash room for emergency visitors, but in his defense, he isn't in the habit of bringing anyone back to the Hatch, not even other Bats, when the Batcave is more suited for handling lots of people.

Well, it's something to work on in the future.

He doesn't get more than a few steps away when he hears the door opening behind him and looks back to see Danny poking his head out.

"Hey, before you go…"

"Yeah? What's up?"

"Can you maybe not tell anyone I'm here? I'm assuming you know who I am, since you know Ellie."

"Yeah, your Batman's first lost kid, right? Trust me, I've heard of you."

Danny winces. "Great. Figures. I just really need to not deal with all of them right now, so if you could keep all this quiet…"

Duke looks him over, takes in the paleness of his skin, how worryingly thin he is, the dark half-moons stamped under his eyes, and promptly decides then and there that the rest of the world is going to have to go through him to even think about going near Danny. It's a complicated situation he's in and if he needs time to prepare himself for meeting everyone else, who Duke knows from personal experience can be a lot, then Duke is going to make sure he has all the time he needs.

"You got it man. They won't hear a thing about this from me. I'll lock everyone else out of here, too, so you can rest easy. They ain't getting in here to bother you while I'm still around."

"Thank you," Danny says again, sagging against the doorframe. "I'm… I really need to sleep."

"Go crash," Duke says softly. "I can take care of things until you wake up."

Bruce is the only person in the Batcave when Duke arrives. He's bent over the Batcomputer, head in his hands, when Duke parks his motorcycle and heads for the stairs to meet him on the upper level. He keeps his footsteps purposefully loud so Bruce can track him as he makes his way over, Danny's bag slung over his shoulder.

"Rough night?" he asks, just to get the conversation started.

"Yes," Bruce sighs. "There have been a number of—changes."

"Oh. Good changes or bad changes?"

Bruce lifts his head as he considers the question, then rubs his temple. "Unclear. It's nice to see everyone working together for Ellie, but I'm—concerned."

"About what?"

"About Ellie. And everyone. And Danny."

Duke leans his weight against the desk and lets the bag drop off his shoulder, then holds it out to Bruce. "Well. I dunno if this will make things any better, but Danny threw this at me while I was on patrol. I took a quick look through it and, uh. It's kinda rough. It's what he went through and how Ellie was created."

Bruce snatches the bag from his hand and immediately begins rooting through it. "Is Danny—?"

"He vanished as soon as I grabbed the bag. I think he's got a few loose ends to tie up before he feels comfortable being here again."

"What did you think of him?"

Duke looks at Bruce, looks at the papers in his hands, and thinks of Danny. "I think he needs someone in his corner. I think we gotta lot to do to make the world safer for him and Ellie. I think he's been scared for a very long time."

Nothing in Bruce's expression changes, and there's no shift in his aura, his emotions tightly locked up as always. But Duke hasn't gotten this far without learning how to see the little things: Bruce's grip on the bag tightens, his feet shift farther apart, as though he's ready to leap up at a moment's notice, and his shoulders slump just slightly under the heavy weight of all the things he refuses to share.

Sighing, Duke tilts his head to look at Bruce more closely. "Why are you down here? It's the middle of the day."

"I'm researching."

A hand loosely gesturing to the large screen of the Batcomputer has Duke turning to see what Bruce has been so occupied with.

It's not case files, as he expected. It's not even research into Danny and what happened to him.

All that's there is PDFs upon PDFs of child psychology papers and essays on recovering from trauma and research on various methods to help children with failure to thrive and malnutrition and neglect.

There's also, in one window, different safety ratings of baby cribs.

Well. Let it be known that Bruce's love language is information.

"Cool. Have you spent any time with anyone since a baby got dropped in your lap?"

Bruce's silence is extremely telling.

Duke briefly considers trying to get Bruce to go upstairs, but he knows better than to pick a losing battle. Especially after he's handed him information on Danny.

At some point, Bruce will have to go upstairs, if only to eat. He's getting old, and his body can't quite keep going like it used to. Duke will let him deal with the consequences of his own actions, or lack of action, when that time comes. He's not a mediator or peace-keeper. Duke has other pressing matters to attend to.

Taking pictures of the baby for Danny is definitely more important than navigating the minefield of family tensions and miscommunications ever present with the Waynes.

Duke reaches out and claps a hand on Bruce's shoulder. "Don't get so caught up in getting all the pieces together that you forget to actually spend time with family. They're gonna need you now more than ever," he says, and waits until Bruce meets his eyes and gives a resolute nod before Duke stands and heads for the stairs that will take up him to the manor.

The sooner he gets back to Danny, the better.

Ellie is cute.

This isn't a surprise. Most babies are cute, and Ellie is no exception.

What Duke hadn't been expecting is how protective Damian is of her, or how everyone else orbits around the two, just on the edge of hovering. Damian's prickly personality is well known, so the rest of the Waynes have taken to acting like cats: always on the same floor, ready to pop in should they be needed, but otherwise out of sight.

"Thomas," Damian greets quietly. Ellie is asleep in the baby wrap keeping her secure against his chest, her head resting on his shoulder. Damian lowers his paintbrush, turning to give Duke his full attention.

Duke takes a hesitant step into Damian's studio, then walks up to him once he isn't hissed at to leave.

"So this is our newest troublemaker, huh?" he says, looking down at Ellie. "How's she doing?"

She's so small. Her head has some black hair on it, but it barely covers her ears.

Damian lays his brush down on the easel. "She's doing much better now that she's getting regular meals and care. She still doesn't make much noise. It is… concerning."

The raw fear and care in his gaze is what makes the words tumble out of Duke's mouth. "I have some news about Danny."

If anyone deserves to know about him, it's his little brother.

Damian's gaze snaps up to Dukes, a fierce light in them, and his hands raise to hold Ellie tightly. "What is it?"

"He gave me a bag while I was patrolling, then left. I looked through it before giving it to B, and it's all… I only read the papers, not anything on the flashdrives, but Danny went through some awful shit. He was captured and experimented on by some group called NOVA. They had him for some time doing tests before he was put in isolation for acting out. And then he kinda… went into a death-like stasis. They did more tests and took some bio-material from him to try to figure out how he was surviving in stasis, and used that to make Ellie with the genes of one of the other captured metas. Danny was in stasis for around seven years."

Reading about it, learning about what Danny went through made Duke's stomach turn. It was like something out of a nightmare. Duke knows the fears metas have to live with; he carries it too, a weight he can never put down.

There's a reason civilian metas try to keep their powers a secret. Metas go for a high price on the black market, are at a higher risk of human trafficking, are seen as the best test subjects by unethical scientists wanting to find some way to replicate those powers in other people or in weapons.

Summarizing the horrors Danny had to experience leaves a bitter taste on his tongue. The silence in the studio stretches long enough for Duke to regret opening his mouth. Damian's still a teenager. He may have had a different upbringing and be able to stomach what most people can't, but this is still his brother. Anyone would be rattled hearing about this.

Then, without a word, Damian stands. He storms out of the studio, leaving Duke to catch the stool he was sitting on before it hits the ground and wakes Ellie.

When he goes to catch up with Damian, the kid is already walking into another room, tension in every line of his body.

"Richard," he snaps quietly, and Duke watches as Dick pops up from where he was lounging on the floor on one of the softest rugs in the manor.

"Dami? What's wrong?"

Damian doesn't answer, just unwraps the baby sling and carefully passes a still sleeping Ellie over to Dick.

"Damian," Dick tries again, his voice hardening, demanding an answer even as he adjust Ellie in his arms to make sure she can continue sleeping comfortably.

"I need to speak with Father," Damian answers shortly. "I will be gone for some time. I am entrusting her to you."

Dick glances at Duke, who tries not to look too stressed or tense. He doesn't think it works.

Reaching out, Dick puts a hand on Damian's head, managing to ruffle his hair for a few seconds before Damian steps away, batting at his hand with a scowl. "Alright," Dick says, "But I'm sending someone to get you for dinner if you're not back by then."

Damian nods, then turns on his heel and leaves for Bruce's office.

Neither of them move until they're sure that Damian is out of earshot.

"What was that about?" Dick asks, lowering himself down onto the rug again, one hand rubbing small circles against Ellie's back.

Duke sighs. "You'll find out soon. Just... chill for now and let me get some cute baby pictures."

Dick, as he finds out, is actually pretty good at helping Duke get the cutest pictures of Ellie.

And when Ellie blinks her little blue eyes open, Duke's heart melts and he understands how she's got everyone wrapped around her fingers.

NOVA, whatever remains of them, is going to regret ever hurting Danny and Ellie.

Danny is asleep when Duke returns. He sleeps through the night, and when Duke wakes up early the next morning to make sure he hasn't disappeared, Danny remains motionless in his bed.

Is he in stasis again? Duke wonders, panicked, as he rushes into his crash room and gently shakes Danny, trying to wake him up.

It takes a few tries before Danny lets out a soft noise in the back of his throat. He turns his face into the pillow, then abruptly tenses up and shoots out of bed. In a blink, Danny's on the other side of the room, flying up to the ceiling where Duke can't easily reach him.

Hands up, palms open, Duke says, "Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you. How're you feeling?"

Danny sucks in a few deep breaths before he slowly floats down to the floor. His eyes are still too wide and there's a faint tremble in his hands. "Fine," he answers blankly.

"Up for eating something? I did promise you food and baby pictures."

Unsurprisingly, it's the mention of Ellie that gets Danny moving and brings some light back to his eyes. He follows Duke out into the main room of the Hatch. There's not really a kitchen in here, but there is a fridge and a microwave, which is enough for now.

One of his workstations has been cleared off and now has chairs around it to turn it into a makeshift dining table. On it, Duke's left a tupperware of French toast, made the way he remembers his dad making them when he was a kid, and as well as a store-bought container of cut fruit.

It's not really a lot, but it's what he could do on a short notice.

Danny takes a seat, and Duke settles in on the other side of the table, pulling out his phone to flip through the many pictures he took of Ellie.

Duke keeps up a light commentary as Danny slowly eats, sharing little stories about the Waynes and all the nonsense they get up to. That turns into sharing stories about the stupid shit he and his friends gets into, followed by some of the weirdest things criminals have done to try to get away from him, including the one that said 'nuh-uh!' when Duke said carjacking is the lamest crime to commit in Gotham.

That story gets Danny to smile, and it takes way too much effort to keep from celebrating it.

All the while, Danny slowly looks through each photo of Ellie, making sure she's okay. He looks so fond and sad that it's breaking Duke's heart, and he swears to himself then and there that he's going to do whatever he can to reunite them.

"Don't you have hero things to do?" Danny asks. It's the first thing he's said since they both sat down.

Duke shrugs. "Nah, not right now. Gotham can wait. You're my priority right now."

"You don't have to—"

"Nope. If you don't want anyone else to know you're here, then you're gonna have to deal with me."

Danny squints at him. "You're both very chill and very stubborn."

"It's the only way I was able to survive working with the other Bats."

"They sound… interesting."

"You can say they're a hot mess," Duke laughs. "But hey, who isn't?" He watches as Danny pushes around the last half of the French toast around the tupperware and straightens up from where he was leaning on the table. "Want me to put that up for you? You can finish it later."

Danny looks down at his plate, then slowly nods. "Yeah. Sorry."

"No worries. You went through some shit. It's not surprising that you don't have much of an appetite." Duke reaches over the table to pop the lid back on the tupperware, then stands to put it in the fridge.

When he turns back, Danny is no longer visible.

Or, at least, his physical body isn't visible. Duke can still easily see his aura, a vibrant green that has streaks of white moving through it like a current of water, which leaves an outline of his body. Danny is also trying to sneak out of the Hatch.

"Oh," he says, "I didn't know you had invisibility. That's pretty cool. I can still see you, by the way."

Danny becomes visible again, glaring at Duke.

"That's such a Batman move," Duke grins, "I should have expected it."

"What was a Batman move?"

"Sneaking away as soon as I turned around. B does that all the time with the Commish. And everyone else, honestly. Though, to be fair, we all do it because we all learned from him. Yeah, you'll have no trouble fitting in with us."

"I don't think what I'm doing should count, since I'm using powers."

"Dude, watch this."

Duke makes sure Danny's looking at him, then bends the light around him to hide him from view. He can see the exact moment Danny realizes he's vanished when his eyes go wide and he takes a few steps closer.

"Signal?"

"Still here," Duke reassures. "Haven't moved an inch." Then he releases his grip on the light around his head, a fun little trick he figured out a few years ago that makes it look like he's a floating, decapitated head. The goons always love that one.

Danny looks at his head. Looks at his invisible body. Then looks back to his head. "That is freaky," he says, a slow smile dawning across his face. "I can do that too."

And sure enough, Danny's body becomes invisible, save for the outline of it in his aura, and now there's just two floating heads in the Hatch.

He's not sure who cracks first, but in no time, they're laughing like everything's alright. Danny's expression brightens and suddenly he's years younger, all the stress falling off his shoulders in the face of their mirth. Like this, he could be any other guy in one of Duke's classes, talking nonsense just to pass the time, quick to laugh and without a care in the world.

This is what he wants for Danny.

This ease, this calm, this lightness in his heart: Duke will keep them safe for Danny.

If nothing else, Duke can be a safe place to land for another meta who needs, more than anything, someone willing to be there for him.

(masterpost for all parts)

[godspeedviper]

How the therapists react to your "worst" symptoms - Headcanons

SFW || TW: mentions of self harm, mention of suicidal ideation, therapy sessions, very brief mention of (unlabeled) disordered eating, mention of psychosis & violent thoughts.

A/N: this was written by someone who has been in therapy for many years and has personal experience with these types of symptoms. this is not meant to romanticize any mental illness or symptoms of it. this is purely self indulgent fluff. just because your experience might be different doesn't make these experiences any less valid. if you don't like this simply do not read it, block if you must, and move on.

Jonathan Crane (Scarecrow)

He is the most objective and detached of the lot. Therefore he never seems to have much of a reaction no matter what you do or say to him. He really has seen it all before. This does help you feel less anxious as time goes on, knowing he won't ever judge you or ascribe any kind of morality to your actions.

"If it causes you distress or harm, then we should work towards eliminating it altogether." is his typical response to your concerns about your own coping mechanisms. "You do not owe anyone kindness, just remember to restrain yourself from causing harm whenever possible."

He is the only one to have no discernible reaction to your self harm scars/burns. One day, he noticed an especially fresh one and offered to disinfect and bandage the wound for you. He always gives you space to bring things up at your own pace, when you feel comfortable doing so.

"Not all of us have the capacity to be so gentle, and that's alright." he says about your outbursts. "I'm not known for being the warmest, but that doesn't make me any less skilled at my work, or any less worthy of respect. If you do not hold my lack of socially acceptable agreeableness against me, then you should not hold it against yourself."

Bonus: when you finally have the courage to mention the substance usage he remains as cool and detached as ever. "I am glad you were honest with me so we can monitor for any interactions with your medications. Know that I won't judge you for moderate usage, after all, do we not professionally refer to medications as drugs? It isn't ideal, but it is a way of self medicating. All I ask is that you be fully honest with me about your usage so I can better take care of you."

Hannibal Lecter (NBC)

He is surprisingly gentle and very soft spoken, although you were intimidated by him at first and the opulence of his office. He usually greets you with a warm smile and asks how your week went and if you've eaten yet today. He teaches you to enjoy food again, describing it as an art, and asking you to be mindful and present when enjoying a meal. Listen to your body, what it tells you about the ingredients, the quality of the meal, and the hands that made it.

He always asks you what you want to do, making sure to actively include you in your own treatment plan. He thoroughly explains treatment options, medications and their possible side effects, and has you weigh your options. This allows you to really analyze your own reactions and act accordingly when you are alone.

"Now, you do understand I am required to recommend inpatient treatment if you are feeling actively suicidal." he says, when you come in on an extra bad day. "However, I want to trust you and give you the option of what to do from here. If you think it will do you more harm than good, let me know, but you have to be honest."

One day you get the courage to ask why there is a first aid kit on his desk, though you already assume why. He simply looks at you and asks "Do you need it today?" before gently tending to your recent self harm wounds. He never calls you out for it, but he does periodically ask you upfront if you've been engaging in self injurious behaviors. If you respond yes, he asks to tend to your wounds, and if you say no, he celebrates with you. "Good. I'm proud of you for holding yourself back."

Bonus: when you land in the hospital, Hannibal makes sure to go visit you while your therapy slot is on hold. He never calls attention to the circumstances that lead you here, and focuses solely on your recovery and how he can't wait to have you back in the office soon.

Harleen Quinzel (Harley Quinn)

It doesn't take long for her to shed her professional demeanor. She makes you feel like you're talking to a close friend, yet manages to never fully lose the "doctor" in her. She offers you fidget toys as a way to ease the tension of talking about such vulnerable and heavy subjects.

She makes everything into a little game or a challenge to motivate you changing habits. Every time you manage to avoid indulging in negative coping mechanisms, she rewards you with a little heart shaped chocolate at the end of the session. On bad days, she simply encourages you to try again and she gifts you a cute bandaid at the end of the session to signify your healing from a bad day (sometimes, the bandaids come in handy for self harm wounds).

"Being childish can be a good thing!" she tells you. "Its important to have a little whimsy in your life. Just because you grew up doesn't mean you have to... ya know, grow up." She encourages you to try and add a little joy to your daily life. You start taking fuzzy tipped pens to work and keeping plushies at home for comfort. Surprisingly, it does help.

Every now and again she asks for your advice or assistance on minor things, such as which dress she should wear for a date, or what show to watch next. Sure, you are technically paying for her time, but this fact alone doesn't entirely relieve you of the feeling that you are burdensome. Whenever that feeling creeps back up, she reminds you of all the times you helped her make decisions until you admit your usefulness with a smile.

Bonus: "Hearing voices or other noises doesn't make you evil." is her reply when she learns of your psychotic symptoms. "Everyone is susceptible to experiencing psychosis. Hell, I've felt it when I was losing sleep in med school. It doesn't make you a bad person."

Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs)

You are intimidated by him at first, but his hypnotic voice grows on you. He always sounds so self assured, but never assertive. He has an almost paternal quality to him, making you feel simultaneously comfortable and protected.

He always listens to you intently, you never feel ignored by him. Hannibal is the only one that makes you feel seen and you tell him as much. "Oh everyone sees you my dear, you can be assured of that, but not everyone has the courage to acknowledge you. Keep this in mind for the next time you should feel the urge to do something drastic for attention."

You were worried you would eventually do something to turn him away, as you had to so many therapists before him. However, he simply scoffs at the idea that you could ever do anything that could possibly frighten him or upset him.

When you finally have the courage to tell him about the violent intrusive thoughts he remains as calm as ever. "In the past, we humans had to hunt to survive. We also had to protect ourselves and our kin. As time goes on, that propensity for violence remains, even if our survival is no longer dependent on it."

Bonus: You come clean to him about getting into a fight with someone, being entirely overtaken by rage and paranoia. You call yourself a monster and cry. "I have worked with serial killers, family annihilators, rapists the worst that the world has to offer. I know monsters. You are not one. You wanna know why?" You nod yes. "Because my dear, you have remorse and regret for your actions, they do not. Besides, you would not be sitting here with me if you did not want the anger to control you."

AO3 || Guidelines || Request || Ko-Fi

[junipers-archive]

hey idk how your requests for fics/oneshots work but i thought of this idea! could you do a reader who gets injured a lot(bruises, scratches, burns) and doesnt seem to notice why shes in pain and spencer is always super worried, or points them out and asks if their ok and they are just genuinely like "huh??" like no clue they were actually hurt. i love protective spence. (this is totally self indulgent i spent 3 hours reading in the sun and didnt realize i was burnt until someone noticed ngl)

"Ow!" Suprisingly its not you who screeches, but Spencer who has been watching you like a hawk the entire case.

He had just witnessed you trying to retrace the steps of the serial killer you were tracking and cut yourself on the nearby wire fencing. Walking over to you, you notice his expression, eyebrows scrunched and mouth downturned.

"How does that not hurt?! It hurts me just to look at it!"

You're about to ask what he's talking about but you notice his pointed stare and follow his gaze to the slash down your upper right forearm. Its bleeding, which you would've realized if you hadn't been busy staring at him.

He looks over to hotch and gets a nod of understanding. And you realize you've done it again.

"oh. oops." Its all you can say, all you can come up with because it doesn't hurt, and also he's standing really close to you, too close, you can smell his cologne, which is clean but sweet and perfect and-

"How-how does this even happen to you?" He snaps you out of your daze, now guiding you to the car, popping the trunk to get the med kit out. He supposedly started it 'for the safety of the team members should something happen'.

Though everyone knows the only team member who needed it was you. You're 99% sure the only reason Hotch agreed to the carry on was because he was tired of having to ask for band aids at every police station you had to cooporate with.

Once you take a seat in the trunk he begins cleaning you up, which to your embarrassment, happens almost every case. But it was hardly ever your fault, your body just rarely experienced the sensation of pain.

Even when it meant you walked around with paper cuts on your fingers all day and only noticed the blood while doing paperwork.

"Sorry..." You mumble, lips twisting into a grimace at your childishness, you can't even take care of yourself, your coworker has to keep an eye on you. "You should be focused on the case, not worried about if I'll break my arm and not feel it.."

You cringe at his slight smile, expecting to be made fun of. "I-Its fine, Y/n I like taking care of you."

Rolling your eyes at his sweetness you tilt your head, "You really like having to keep your eyes on me 24/7, making sure I haven't gone and cut off a finger or fell and broken a bone, you want to keep your eyes on me?"

"Yes, I quite like it actually." And he's grinning Spencer Reid is grinning up at you like he's won the lottery, like looking after you is some prize he's won.

"What-Whatdoyoumean-" you begin quickly but he interrupts you,

"All done!" And he's walking away, he's really just walking away like he just didn't do what he just did.

"Spence! Spencer you come back here right now!" And now you have everyone looking at you like a lunatic. But by god you will find out exactly what he meant.

[getmecakeordeath]

For those who self h@rm by cvtting, here’s some tips for taking care of yourself from someone whos being doing it for 10+ years

•It’s okay, don’t think any less of yourself for relapsing. It happens and its okay. No one ever tells you that its okay.

•Invest in a person first aid kit, I’m a first responder so I’ve always been stocked up. You should make sure your kit has the following:

• sterile cleansing wipes (you can never have enough of these)

•Conforming bandages (you’ll need this for bigger cuts to help keep the gauze secure

•Microporous Tape

•Different size wound dressings

•Plasters of all different sizes (fabric ones work best I find)

•Kitchen roll (I know that sounds strange but it helps to stop the bleeding, where as tissue just falls to bits)

•Some wound closure stitches (butterfly stitches)

•Wash your hands properly before you cvt, it will help keep you safe okay

•Whatever your going to cvt with make sure you give it a good clean with a sterile wipe, I got some nasty infections from not doing this when I was young.

•After you have had your ‘session’ (at least that’s what I call mine) make sure that you treat your wound properly:

•Hold the kitchen roll to your wound until it stops bleeding.

•Clean the area with the sterile wipes thoroughly

•If it is small enough for a plaster then out that on there

•If not use the wound dressings, measure up to the wound ensuring that there is a good finger width between the edge of the cut and the end of the dressing

•Use the tape to secure it into place

•Hold one end of the bandage away from the wound before you start wrapping it (so you have something to tie it off with)

•Don’t wrap it too tight or it will be uncomfortable and you’ll want to take it off

•Change the bandage or plaster every day at least once (I know that it’s hard but if you don’t it might cause an infection)

•If you cvt too deep, it happens it’s okay I’ve been there, push firmly against the wound with a tea towel or any fabric you can get. If the blud is pouring out I’m going to need you to hold it against you wound as hard as you can and then a little harder. Call you Emergencey service number (999, 911 etc) they will talk you though what you have to do and get you help.

•Dispose of any blades you use, don’t use them twice it WILL cause an infection that can get into your blood. I bought pencil sharpeners on Amazon for very cheap. One use only okay? You don’t want to get sick over it.

•If you want to help your scars become less visible use Bio Oil I think that it works the best and really helped me with the ones on my arms.

•There are things that can help you with your urges or relapses.

•Some helpful apps that I would recommend are:

•StayAlive (I have had this on my phone for many years now and it has saved my life

It has saved my life on many occasions and if you find that you are in need of die help, you can show it to the emergency services and they will help you okay. We are trained in this.

•Harm less (It gives you motivational things whenever you open it, it’s 100% customisable and it can help you keep track of your relapses)

•Its okay to relapse, I’ve been though it many times, I recently just relapsed acted a 250+ day gap. Its okay and no one says it enough. You haven’t let anyone down, no one is disappointed in you, your okay.

Just some tips I’ve learnt over time, it’s going to be okay

[starlightmoon96]

Yandere TFP Ratchet x female human reader(Gundam model builder nerd) pt.2

(obsession, confession, drugged up, kidnapping)

(special shout out too yandere--stuck for a little inspiration)

Because of your jerk landlord increasing your rent you had no choice but to get a second job since your figure building and match making business that she had set up for the children's high school it wasn't giving you enough to pay the bills, it also meant your schedule would change. Luckily there was working from home jobs and your mom worked from home with her business and you had asked her for a job at her company, it took you a week to hear by saying that you had gotten the job it also meant you could only hang around the autobot base on weekends only.

There was a little upset with the children that they couldn't see you that much when you got your new job, though the most upset was Ratchet even though he didn't show it. Ratchet had gotten used to your company and enjoyed talking with you, now that he wouldn't see you as much as before almost bothered him.

Though it was your first week of absents for those five days was when Ratchet realized something about himself that he hadn't noticed, upon you return on Saturday with the children was the moment he had developed feelings for you. He knew it was wrong loving a human and didn't want to believe it himself, instead of saying anything he kept thee emotions he had for you to himself acting like his usual self. But inside he was in pain, a type of pain he had never felt before in his long life him in denial did make things...different. Optimus had noticed how Ratchet would talk with you whenever you where working on another gundam model or painting another 3-D gundam model for a special order, you even surprised Ratchet when you had shown him the special model of him that you had custom made for a gundam kit. Yes Ratchet was shocked by that as was the children seeing the model kit, you had connections and used them in making a one of a kind kit in seeing how it would turn out. Even the instruction where that of Japanese kits with them written in Japanese, you didn't realize that showing Ratchet that kit you made of him sparked something that shouldn't have been lite.

"Thanks for driving me home Ratchet, I'm surprised you offered." You said that after you got out of Ratchet's vehicle mode, holding your bag of supplies you had brought to the base.

"It's the least I can do for you (Y/N)." Was Ratchet's response to you, what he really wanted was to see where you lived. You had lived in some of the small apartments that Jasper had, they weren't really great but they weren't bad either especially if your a student. You said your goodbyes to Ratchet before you headed back to your apartment, sadly for you as soon as you got inside your apartment you had your school work to complete that. You didn't much sleep since you had a few assignments that where due along with paying your rent that was due the next morning, for your Sunday you had decided to sleep in for a bit till like around 11am because of the hard work load you had to do until three in the morning.

After paying your rent you had went to the autobot base by car, you did have a car but it was old and in your budget. Arriving at the base you where greeted by Ratchet whom right away you noticed that his eyes where green instead of blue

"Ratchet? What happened to you eyes?"

"Something great happened (Y/N) I finally completed the synthetic energon formula, I tested it on myself." Him saying that you imminently said

"You used yourself as a test subject?" To your shock Ratchet picked you up with his hand as he smiled at you

"And I'm happy I took that risk. I've never felt better." After he said that had put you down on one of tiers of the stairs

"Just be careful with that stuff Ratchet, please."

Not long after you showed up you noticed Ratchet was acting....different, he was a little more..well...ah....lets just say he gained more personality thanks to the Synth-En. He reminded you of an over confident college football jock, you hated those types of personalities you where attracted to well educated and conservative. If Ratchet or Optimus where human they was your type but since both of them where an alien robots and you where fine with just having that friendship, yes many guys had asked you out when you where in high school. But none of where what you where looking for in a guy, honestly the real real why you moved to Jasper was in hopes in finding a boyfriend that was your type and you didn't have much luck. Yes you did have some elementary and middle boyfriends, you had ended those relationships when they had became immature for your liking. And you did care about appearances a little, a lot of gundam builders where your typical basement nerds and being a girl in that community it was a little uncomfortable since a lot of them hadn't spoke to a real women before.

With Ratchet's new personalty it concerned you a little bit with his sudden change of character, you where worried that the Synth-En was a type of drug for there kind and taking large doses caused side effects. You wanted to talk to Ratchet your theory but you had a gut feeling that he wouldn't listen to you, so you talked to Optimus instead about your concern and your thoughts about the Synth-En. Optimus listened to you as you spoke to him, seeing the concerned look you where giving him it gave him the excuse in talking to Ratchet about the synthetic energon.

You thought that maybe Optimus could talk some sense into Ratchet, however you didn't know how wrong you where. The only thing you where right about was the Synth-En effecting Ratchet's mind, the repressed feelings that he had for had grown dark...to the point of obsession. It had grown worse when Optimus spoke to him and telling your concern for him, he felt hurt that you had spoke to optimus first and not him. Ratchet acted like it was no big deal and said that he would take it easy with the Synth-En, it was when Ratchet parted ways with Optimus that he had slammed his fist on the wall right next to him out of anger. Ratchet's eyes flashed red for a few seconds because of the emotional state he was in, the second his optics turned green once more was when he came up with a idea that he couldn't help but grin thinking of it.

The next day you decided to pay a little visit, your internet was out and you couldn't do your online work or school work. Of course you informed your boss about the no internet connect and they understood, arriving at the base you noticed how quiet the base was that made you a little confused

"Hello? Anyone here?" Not hearing anything in the base was a red flag for you, there's usually someone in the base and hearing how quiet it was almost concerned you. Being curious you decided to do a little investigating, after a few minutes you found the bots on benches, they looked like they where sleeping but something felt off to you. Even Optimus Prime was in the state of unconscious when you walked up close unaware that Ratchet was stand in front of the doorway.

"Hello (Y/N)." Hearing Ratchet's voice startled you as you turned and saw Ratchet, even looking at him it felt different to you that made you worry and keeping your distance from the bot

"Ratchet?...What did you do to them?"

"I'm happy you came by saves me the trouble." Ratchet said that so casually that it almost sent chills down your spine, it was also clear as day that he was still on the Synth-En. Before Ratchet reached you, your instincts kicked in and you ran under his feet and bolted as far as you could. You could hear heavy footsteps chasing after you and you didn't want to look back, the base was almost like a maze to you because of it's size. You luck had gotten worse when you lost your way, you planned on escaping with your car instead of entered the main area you had hit a dead end.

You screamed in shocked as he scooped you in his hand in a fast movement

"Easy (Y/N), I won't hurt you."

"Why are you doing this?" Was what you questioned in a panic unsure of what was happened and why Ratchet was acting out the way he was, then he gave you his answer

"I did it out of love." Him saying that confused you and it showed on your face

" What? Love?" Where the only two words that came out of your mouth, you didn't think Ratchet would use the word love and you where confused by why it had something to do with you

"I've been repressing my feels, at first I was denying them refusing to accept. But as of recently I finally came to terms with me emotions for you." You where more shocked than confused hearing that Ratchet confessed that was in love with you, then it hit it.

"The Synth-En? It is effecting your head like I thought." You inhaled sharpy as he lifts your chin with his finger for you to look directly at him, you tried to push away from him but saw that it wasn't effective

"Your not going to speak of what I've done are?" At first you didn't answer him but when his free hand turned into his surgical blade pointed the tip right at you it terrified you as he repeated

"Are you?" Imminently you nod your head no to him

"No...I won't say anything." Ratchet's face calmed down when you said those worse and his surgical blade retracted back to his normal hand as he started walking

"Happy to hear that (Y/N)." You where too scared to almost as but you managed to find your words

"Um...Ratchet? Can I ask you when you started having feelings for me?" Hearing you said that Ratchet smiled as he answered you

"I suppose you deserve to know. I guess it happened, it had stared when you wanted me to show you cybertronian blueprints. You actually listen and moved me." Your blood went cold hearing that your love for gundam models and there designs was what got you into the mess you where in now, you didn't know what was going to happen to you. He even told you that he didn't care that you where an organic, where terrified you even more in what was going to next. With Ratchet's new unstable state you didn't know what to expect

[sentientgolfball]

Hi i don’t care if everyone is asleep right now i NEED to share the little thoughts i had while making midnight grilled cheese

(Takes place in a timeline where Dew retires alongside Copia’s ascension to Imperator)

As much as Dew loves his music, loves touring, he thinks it’s time. It already felt off without Aether there, he does not wanna know what it feels like without Copia. He’s done the whole switching frontman act and he was not a fan. Plus there’s something he’s been wanting to do…

They’ve discussed it before, whisper in the dead of night, but it was never feasible with him and Aether touring. When Aether retired the conversation was brought up again. It stayed in the back of Dew’s mind the entire six months they were gone. Now that he’s also decided to settle he brings it up again. He thinks it’s time they finally have their kit. It’s a very long discussion with a lot of tears from both sides and a few self deprecating words from Dew, but ultimately they agree. They’ve waited long enough.

They go back and forth with the Sibling/ghoul duo who heads the nursery at the abbey for a little, just to get things in order. The day comes where Aether and Dew will head down just to visit and Dew is so nervous he’s ready to pass out. Aether is nervous too, but it translates into trying to calm Dew down. They’re both just a mess but in different ways.

Once they’re down there it’s completely different. Dew is so quiet when he sees the little piles of sleeping kits, too afraid to disturb them. The way his tail wags at their little purrs is enough to communicate how he’s feeling though. They don’t really except to find a kit that day, really just meeting them and learning their stories as the Sibling and ghoul walk them around.

That was the plan until one of the little water pups woke up crying. Dew was the closest to her and something in him told him to just…pick her up. He didn’t even stop to think about it, he just did. He’s never held a kit before and he had no idea why she was crying, so he just held her. He tucked her tight to his chest and she responded by nuzzling his nose into his neck. He nearly cried when she licked at his healed over gill scars.

Aether had never been more in love with Dew than he was right then and there. He cleared his throat before asking the Sibling and ghoul how she ended up here. He knew it didn’t matter what they said, the soft look in Dew’s eyes told him everything. But he was curious.

They told them she had been surrendered upon birth by her parent from a smaller branch of the Ministry. They weren’t given many details, just that her parent supposedly lost her mate and did not want to raise a kit on her own. She was named though before she was given up. Pearl. Her name was Pearl.

There was no better name for her. She was completely white with iridescent scales that shone when the light hit them right. The tip of her tail didn’t have a fin on it, but it was longer and thicker than an average water pup’s at that age. Same with her fangs, sharper and longer than what they should be (think leucistic/white alligator).

They decide right there that Pearl is their kit. They finish whatever paperwork the Sibling and ghoul need and the rest is history. Dew’s a little afraid he won’t be good enough, especially since he doesn’t have his water anymore, but he’d be damned if he left Pearl there. He was raised as a water ghoul so that’s not an issue, but when her element really starts to develop they may have to tap in Rain. It hurts a little he’ll never be able to really swim with his daughter though.

It makes him smile every time he thinks about it. His daughter. Aether’s daughter. Their kit. The first night she’s home in the den they kind of just stay up and watch her, the realization still setting in. Aether ends up falling asleep first. Dew promises he’ll always try his best for her and he asks her to forgive him when he inevitably fucks up. He’ll try not to fuck up. He says fuck about three more times before a very groggy Aether tells him to watch his language.

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

hi! i hope you’re well. I’m back again with a request. i was thinking tan and reader being good friends and both having feelings for eachother. the reader is a nurse so tan often gets fixed up by her after missions. most of the times he comes over at a reasonable time and texts or calls before hand but not this time. he comes over unannounced around midnight scaring the reader awake. after realising it’s tan she’s quick to scold him abt getting injured so badly and being there so late. she gets her medical kit and cleans, bandages and if needed stitches his wounds while he’s sitting on the counter of her bathroom shirtless while she’s checking his wounds basically standing inbetween his legs. after finishing up they realise how close they are to one another. and one thing leads to another and they..?🤭💓

hii honey!! love love it! thank you for requesting, hope you like it. the image is too fitting to pass up💌

TWO AM WAKE-UP CALL.

tangerine x nurse fem!reader — fluff/ misc

word count. 444

warnings. a couple blood mentions

Being a nurse has its perks, of course, like any job. But what you never expected was the amount of irregular visits you'd get from a particular assassin friend of yours.

But tonight was different to most. You were startled awake by erratic knocking at your front door, the loud noise echoing through your place. 

And once you peek through the peephole, you see who is on the other side.

"Fuck," you gasp, looking at Tangerine through the gap of the open door. "What happened?" you ask, looking at his hand clasped over his bicep - blood seeping through his fingers. 

"Stabbed," he says simply, walking past you - heading for your bathroom.

"Oh my god, oh my god," you mutter, closing the door behind you. "Didn't get followed, did you? Oh my god, this is so bad— careful, watch the floor. You're dripping everywhere."

He mutters a 'no', far too agonised, face crumpling up as he pushes the bathroom door open. 

You collect your medical bag and immediately follow after him, joining him in the small room. He was already sitting on the edge of the counter, bloody shirt disregarded in the sink - his helpful self making it easier for you. 

"Sorry, should've called first," he shakes his head, diverting away bashfully. 

You softly hum as you slip on some gloves, visually assessing the slice in his upper arm. "It's okay," you nod, trying to reassure him. "I like being awake at two am cleaning blood," you joke.

Though, Tan doesn't seem impressed with your attempts at lightening the air, instead rather embarrassed.

"I'm sorry," you sympathetically frown at him and turn your attention back to his arm, cleaning the skin around the wound. "I'm kidding, it's okay, really."

He only nods, turning his eyes back to you as he watches you mend him - his focus eager, unbeknownst to you. 

"Thank you," he mutters, gaze still on your face, looking down at you standing between his knees. 

"It's no problem," you momentarily smile up at him and continue wrapping the bandage around his bicep - being mindful, not wanting to hurt him further. "You have to be more careful out there... don't want you dying on me."

"You don't have to worry about me. Not letting that happen," Tangerine reassures, slipping his free hand into yours - pressing a kiss into the latex on the back of it. His head cocks to the side sweetly, looking at you with warmth in his eyes. 

"I just worry about you, that's all."

And without a second to think otherwise, he cups the sides of your face, bringing you in for that much-awaited kiss. 

[ramblingthoughtsofayoungadult]

Unpredictable Part 3-Limoreau x black!fem!reader fic

A/N: AAAH, thank you for all the support on this. I didn't think it'd be a series but I can't stop writing.

Warnings: toxic parents, body shaming, eating disorders, alcohol abuse, and swearing

Words: 7.7k

Series Masterlist

 “…and that’s how I knew that I was meant to do charity work,” the nasal redhead concluded.

That afternoon, the Si Chi house was packed with pledges in floral or puffy Selkie and Miss Selfridge sun dresses. A handful of servers circulated the foyer with trays of orange juice and mimosas. The combination of Prada Candy and Viktor Rolfe Flowerbomb made my head spin but I smiled through it as I nodded at different pledges’ stories. All of them were desperately trying to toe the line between interesting and bragging because one could never act too important for a potential house.

“That’s great news,” I glanced at her name tag, “Brenda since Si Chi regularly engages in philanthropic work.”

 Brenda smiled widely, making the hot pink blush on her cheeks even more prominent. “I know, that’s why I’m so interested in joining this---your house.”

“Well, we are glad that you took the time to visit us. Would you excuse me?”

As I weaved my way through the foyer, I plucked a mimosa from a passing server and started sipping. Exactly five seconds passed until I was surrounded by a new crop of bright-eyed freshmen.

“Oh my gosh, are you Y/N Y/L/N?” a willowy brunette asked.

“Guilty, and you are?”

“She’s Justine,” a shorter brunette interrupted.

Justine narrowed her eyes and thinly covered the glare with a smile. “I can introduce myself, thanks, Renee.”

Renee shrunk a little in her oversized light blue sundress and I glanced at Justine.

“So, why are you interested in our house?” I asked.

Justine straightened up and smiled like a pageant girl. “Well, I’m perfectly aligned with all the values of Si Chi: Sisterhood, respect, and intelligence. I am all about women empowerment and I respect people from all backgrounds----I’m exposed to a bunch of different people as an actress, anyway.”

“What about intelligence?”

“Well, I think there’s many different kinds of intelligence and, as an actress, I’m emotionally intelligent to the point where I’m exhausted by everyone else’s energy.”

“She really has to prioritize self-care,” Renee added.

“It’s great that you’re aware of that for yourself.”

She had to be one of the least self-aware people I ever encountered and that was a difficult fete. However, her socials had decent numbers and she had been in a few Vought Plus movies, which would help her win Sydney and Lydia, the vice president, over. The next two years with her and her friend would be irritating.

A softer expression slipped across Justine’s face, and she took a step towards me. “I just want to say that I think it’s so brave that you’ve been participating in all the rush events despite your traumatic experience. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to see Luke,” she paused and placed a hand on her chest, “kill himself.”

Though it had been a week since, it still felt like a bomb rolled off Justine’s tongue when she said it. The wave of emotions that I experienced in that time was hard to describe; Shetty said that grief was a rollercoaster, and the influx of emotions was normal.

“As impossible as it may seem, one day you will come to accept what happened,” she’d advised. “You may experience more anxiety but, with your network, I am sure you will be able to cope.”

The network she referred to was strained at best and destroyed at worst. My “sisters” were as supportive as they could be: Alina gave me a Lush self-care kit, Sasha was not nearly as antagonizing as usual, Lydia gave me grief book recommendations, and Sydney let me pick what workout classes we attended. Emma and Cate were the only non-Si Chi people I spoke to since it was way too difficult to speak to the others.

Justine placed her hand on my shoulder. “If you ever need someone to talk to, you can count on me.”

“Thank you for the thought,” I replied, smiling tightly.

“You must be so grateful that Marie was there to stop him,” Renee quipped.

I sipped some more juice to keep the confusing feelings from bubbling up. Nothing could have prepared me for Marie and Andre being propped as the Guardians of Godolkin, which was arguably the dumbest name Vought could give them. The less I wanted to see them, the more I saw their promos and videos. It was horrible that the last time we spoke we had a fight but every time I saw her, I felt a weird wrench in my chest.

At the very least, Emma seemed happy for her.

Then, Coco Allen, a Si Chi junior, appeared from the crowd and squeezed between the freshmen. “There you are, Y/N, I have a crim freshman with a water manipulation ability who wants to pick your brain.”

“Sure. Will you excuse me?”

“Bye!” Renee called as Coco pulled me through the crowd.

When we got to the less populated living room, I exhaled a breath I did not know I was holding. Then, I turned to the beaming Coco.

“Thank you,” I said.

“You’re welcome. You know I hate entitled freshmen,” Coco mused.

Coco was the only other black girl in Si Chi and happened to be the first one to talk to me when I visited the house last year. She was a little shorter than me with deep mahogany skin that always glowed. She always wore her waist-length jet-black hair in tight curls and accessorized solely with gold jewelry. That day, she wore a fitted white sundress with espadrilles.

“Were there this many last year?” I asked.

Coco shook her head. “But there are a few more black girls so it’s promising.”

“That’s great! I hope I can find them before the event’s over.”

“That would be great.” Coco eyed me. “So, how are you holding up?”

“I’m okay, the mimosas don’t hurt though.”

“They never do. You didn’t have to come today, you know, you could have taken more time, get out of here for a minute.”

I shook my head. “I needed this, it’s a nice distraction or, it has been. Besides, what would it look like if the secretary didn’t attend?”

Coco nodded slowly but I could tell that the gears in her head were turning too much for her to be convinced. “You’re already Sydney and Lydia’s favorite and they might have let it slide.”

I cocked my head at her and she immediately started chuckling half-heartedly.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. The hoops they make us jump through are ridiculous,” Coco reflected.

“It makes sense why you didn’t want to be an officer even though you’re poli sci,” I commented.

Coco grinned. “Hey, I’m making decent connections just by being in this house. This is just a steppingstone on my path to become the first black woman supe president.”

Even though the title was long, if anyone could do it, it was Coco. One time last year I sat in on one of her debates in class and she had a senior in tears and their debate partner ready to put their laser eyes to good use.

“Well, don’t forget little ole me when you’re a big shot,” I teased.

Coco frowned. “What do you mean ‘little’? You have done too much to talk like that.”

I shrugged. “Not that they’re not as important but my four-year plan is less impressive than yours.”

“Oh yeah, the plan where you basically end up a trophy wife? No shade but, I think you’d be way too bored in that role.”

“Hey, I would have a city contract too. Plus, it’s what I want and what I see for myself every time I look into the future. Every step I have taken up until this point puts me closer to that.”

My voice was much stronger than I thought it would be but Coco was always pushing me. Some days it was motivating and on others, it was infuriating.

“Like I said, I’m not trying to crush your dreams or your plan but is that really all you want for yourself? Especially thinking about all the good you’re already doing with your powers?” Coco questioned.

Her words plagued me for the rest of the event and bugged me when we gave our ratings of the pledges to Sydney and Lydia.

“Oh, and Y/N, don’t forget to send me that compilation with all the pledges’ socials,” Sydney requested as I was on my way out of the foyer.

“Of course, you’ll have it by the end of the day.”

Everything was much quieter underwater, except for my thoughts, but those were much clearer. Every time I thought about where I would be in five years, it was the same: smiling at a city event on the arm of some suit. I never saw the man’s face but I knew he had to be somewhat attractive. My eyes fluttered closed at the bottom of the pool and I focused on my future.

It was the same image, complete with flashing cameras and I was wearing a gorgeous rose pink Oscar de la Renta gown. My hair was piled on top of my head in Senegalese twists, and I was smiling widely. However, when I tried to look at whose arm I was on, it was like I could not turn my head. The harder I tried, the sorer the side of my neck got.

After a few more seconds of trying, I pushed myself up to the surface and sucked in the air. The sky was a mix of orange, purple, and blue. Sydney was blasting “My Head, My Heart”, which signaled that she was getting ready to go out with Eric Landon, the president of Sigma Kappa. It would be nice to be asked on a date, a proper one without the expectations of sex later.

My face warmed at the fact that I had never actually been asked out. People constantly told me how good looking I was but that did not translate into boys falling all over themselves for me. There were the occasional fun nights out but it would always end in that same venue. I didn’t think I asked for too much: flowers, good morning and good night texts, respect, intelligence, and ambition. Emma told me I watched too many movies once and while that could have been true, I also thought that it wasn’t too much to ask a guy to hold a door open.

It also did not help that Jordan was the last person I ever got close to being intimate with. I groaned at the thought and dove underwater, making my way to the other side of the pool.

An almost-kiss should mean absolutely nothing but I could not stop thinking about it, just like I could not stop thinking about how Jordan would throw me under the bus to save themselves. I would never do that to anyone, especially not someone I cared about.

But you already did, the voice in my head hissed.

Marie didn’t count, I didn’t mean to do that; Andre, Luke, Cate, and Jordan decided for me. I would have stayed if it was my choice but that didn’t matter to Marie or any of them.

I pushed myself from the side of the pool and butterfly stroked my way to the other side. Thankfully, the water was heated and soothed my aching muscles. As I was about to resurface, I noted a blurry tall blonde figure standing above me. When I pushed up, Cate stood over me, her eyes worried.

“Hey,” I greeted.

“Hi, can we talk?”

“Sure.”

A few seconds later, I was wrapped in a fluffy towel and standing across from Cate. Her eyes shifted around for a moment before she suggested we headed inside. When we got to my room, she immediately closed the door behind us.

“Is there any way someone would have listening devices in here?” Cate asked.

“No,” I said slowly.

“Are you sure? There’s shit out now where they put it in the tiniest crevices and you would never know,” Cate argued.

“I would have seen it or had a hint about it. What’s going on?”

Cate finally sat on my bed, and I opted to stand across from her. “Andre and I found some stuff that makes Luke and Brink’s deaths way more complicated.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, for one thing, they totally cleared out his room the day after he died and I mean everything.”

My eyes widened. “Even the…special drawer?”

“Yes, and at first, I thought it was protocol but what would they do with all those----”

“I get it, Cate, what else did you and Andre find?”

As Cate continued to speak, I could feel my stomach sink further and further, until I was sure it was somewhere in the house basement. Nothing Cate said meant anything positive for anyone. If there was some kind of lab under us, that meant anyone could become a part of it.

“Have you told anyone else?” I asked.

Cate huffed and leaned back on my bed. “Well, Jordan’s been spiraling about Marie and the rankings, so I can’t get a word in about anything else.”

“They’re spiraling?” I asked.

“You haven’t talked to them since Luke died?” Cate asked.

When she said it like that, it sounded like I committed a cardinal sin. After that day, there was nothing else for me to say to them. Even though I saw them in class occasionally, I never spoke to them and desperately tried to avoid eye contact.

“They could have reached out too,” I muttered.

“You’re such a younger sibling,” Cate commented.

“It’s true!” I whined.

“Well, they’ve been freaking out about the rankings since they fell down to number five and Andre’s number one.”

Being in the Top Five was like Jordan’s lifeline. They’d always shared a friendly rivalry with Luke but I knew they wanted to be number one eventually. They spent almost all their time making sure they stayed in a high position and to drop to bottom of the Top Five must have been devastating.

“Oh no,” I whispered.

“Yeah, and your new best friend cracked the Top 100 and is Jordan’s new nemesis,” Cate added.

 I walked over to my dresser and pulled out a chocolate brown loungewear set. “Neither of them are my friends.”

Cate frowned. “Seriously, what is going on with you? The other night, you and Marie were inseparable, and you and Jordan were bantering. What happened?”

It must have been the fact that I was holding all my thoughts and feelings in because I burst.

“Marie and I can’t be friends since she thinks I’m a shallow bitch who would sacrifice her to save myself because I hang out with people who do. The funny part is that Jordan admitted they would backstab me if they could get ahead, which is definitely not something I would do to a friend or anyone I almost kissed!”

I was panting by the end and my chest felt a lot lighter. However, my nerves began to build when I noticed Cate’s mischievous grin.

“Who did you almost kiss?” Cate asked.

“That’s not the point,” I mumbled.

Cate stared at me for a second before lighting up. “It was Jordan, wasn’t it?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“You hesitated which means I’m right. It could have easily been Marie though since you were all over her.”

“Why do people keep saying that? I was being nice!”

Cate held up her hands in a relaxed defense. “Chill, Y/N, it’s okay to like more than one person at once.”

“I don’t like either of them.”

“At all?” Cate quirked an eyebrow.

“No,” I pouted.

Cate looked unimpressed and I felt even more unimpressed since I knew that I liked Marie and Jordan platonically.

“Okay, we’ll save that for later but, I don’t think Jordan would tell you that they would backstab you and they would not think about it. They would do it to other people, but not you.”

“You’re just saying that because they’re your friend and you weren’t there.”

Cate cocked her head to the side. “Think, Y/N, did Jordan really say, ‘I would backstab you if it would save my ass’?”

As I recalled the memory, I slowly rocked back and forth on my heels. “They didn’t say that but, they didn’t answer me when I asked if they would.” “You probably caught them off guard,” Cate reasoned. “I’m sure if you talked to them, things would go okay.”

I hesitated and set my clothes on my bed. “Let’s say that I decided to speak to them, I don’t know what to say. Even if I did, my class tomorrow isn’t with them.

“You’re not going to the Think Brink gala tomorrow night?” Cate asked.

Earlier that day, Mom mentioned something about a gala on the phone but I was only half-listening. In my defense, there was only so much complaining about her clients and Dad that I could stand. I grabbed my phone from my nightstand and “Go to Brink gala” was in bright letters on my calendar.

“I guess I am,” I concluded.

“Then, you have some time to figure it out. You might get lucky and not even have to say anything.” I nodded and messed with the charm on my phone. “But what about Marie?”

“You’ll figure that out too. Indira’s taking her to the gala so, you can get both your ‘friends’ back,” Cate said, putting “friends” in air quotes.

“Why did you do it like that? Don’t say it like that.”

“Just because you’re in denial doesn’t mean I am. Think about it, would you be this freaked out if we had a fight?”

The “yes” should have come immediately but it didn’t; it died in my throat, and I couldn’t look at Cate. Why were things different with Marie and Jordan? Why did I stress out about them when I tried to stop thinking about them?

“Can you just make me say the right thing?” I asked.

Cate mulled it over for a moment. “I think it’s best if you do it yourself. If you don’t have a vision about it, something will come to you.”

“Thanks, Cate. If you and Andre need any help snooping----”

“You will be the first person I text,” Cate assured.

“I was going to say that I’ll probably know before you.”

I narrowly avoided the pillow Cate tossed at me and laughed at her effort.

“Maybe you are getting a little too cocky, Y/N.” She stood and walked over to me. “And for the record, I would never betray you in any way, neither would Andre or Jordan. If either of them did, they would have to deal with me.”

“Thanks, I would hug you but I’m still soaking wet.”

“Yeah, that’s smart. I know this might be useless but try not to worry about everything.”

I shrugged. “It doesn’t hurt to try.”

“You’re taking the meds from Indira?”

“Yes, Mom,” I teased.

“Just trying to help.”

Strangely, that was the first night since Luke’s death that I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. The trend was that I would strain myself to have premonitions until I was exhausted and tried again in the morning. For once, sleep found me quickly.

After sitting through a two-hour lecture on trauma’s impact on villains and heroes, I was more than happy to wander back to the Si Chi house and decompress. In a few hours, Talia, Mom’s assistant, would arrive with options for the gala. Then, the glam team would arrive and do their best to ignore Mom while they did their jobs.

I needed all the relaxation I could get.

 As I was mentally reviewing which movies I could watch, my phone kept buzzing in my back pocket. I thought it was another flurry of comments on the TikTok Coco and I made yesterday but it was from a strange number.

XXX-XXX-XXXX: Y/N, pls come 2 my dorm, it’s an emergency.

XXX-XXX-XXXX: Im srry we haven’t talked in a while but it’s important.

I frowned and typed back, ????

XXX-XXX-XXXX: It’s Marie. Emma’s in trouble.

My stomach dropped and I replied, B there soon.

As I raced around other people on campus, my thoughts moved faster at the possibility of what could have been going on with Emma. The last time I had spoken to her was two days ago and she was okay then. If anything, she may have been tense because Marie and I were not speaking but she had not said anything else.

I was halfway to their dorm when I ran into something solid.

“Watch where you’re going, Y/N,” Maverick sneered.

“If you put on some clothes, maybe I’d see you,” I shot back as I continued down the hall.

When I finally got to their dorm, I was panting and could barely knock. Marie pulled the door open, pulled me in, and closed the door behind me.

“Did you sprint here?” she asked.

I nodded. “You said…it was…an….emergency…Emma.”

In the middle of me grabbing my bearings, I noticed something tiny next to one of the supports on Emma’s bed. Slowly, I slid to my knees and crawled over to it. When I realized who it was, a choked gasp escaped my mouth.

“What happened?” I whispered.

“I don’t know. She was like that when I got here and I didn’t know what to do so I called you since you’ve known her the longest,” Marie rambled.

Her words barely registered in my brain as I went to one of Emma’s drawers, grabbed a small set of clothes, wrapped her in it, and carefully set her on her bed. Emma was barely breathing and was ghostly pale.

“Emma, I know you’re probably not going to like this but, you’re going to need to eat something.”

She didn’t reply and for a second, I wondered if she could.

I started rifling through all her stuff until I found a box of crackers. My hands trembled as I broke them into small pieces and kneeled in front of Emma. She never looked at me as she nibbled on each crumb I fed her.

Eventually, she grew back to her normal size. As soon as she was, she pulled her knees to her chest.

“I’m sorry you saw me like that,” she muttered.

Slowly, I sat next to her and it was almost the same way zookeepers treated wild animals. If one moved calmly enough, they would not get attacked. Marie sat on her bed.

“It’s okay, I’m glad we were able to help,” I replied. “What happened?”

Emma sniffed. “I opened up to this girl in my class. We’re scene partners for a project and we were talking, and I guess I felt comfortable enough to tell her about how I get small. I thought it was just between us, but she posted this…this video on YouTube telling the whole world about it.”

“Who’s the girl?” Marie asked.

“How do you get small?” I uttered at the same time.

Emma froze for a moment and looked away from me. “I make myself…sick.”

When she said it, I suddenly remembered all those times she would go to the bathroom and then come out a miniature version of herself. However, all those times, it was for different commercials or other work-related events. Then again, there had to be times when she did it at home or at my house.

How did I never notice? “Emma, I’m so sorry. I wish you would’ve told me sooner,” I said.

Emma turned to me with a glare in her eyes. “Really? How would I work that into a conversation? ‘Hey, Y/N, I’m sorry to interrupt but, I make myself throw up to get small’?”.

“We’re friends, friends tell each other this kind of thing,” I insisted.

Emma scoffed. “Please, like you would get it if I told you. You’re perfect, you always have been. Your face, your hair, your body, your eyes, your life!”

“That’s not fair.”

“Emma, I think you need to get help,” Marie interrupted.

Emma’s gaze flickered to hers and I thought she might set Marie on fire. “I need to get help, that’s rich coming from you. You act like no one can see your scars.”

Marie flinched and her eyes narrowed slightly. “I do that for my powers, that’s different.”

Emma laughed callously. “Please, at least be honest. How about this: I’ll go to therapy when you admit to cutting.”

Emma’s voice had no tone and every word she said was like a hammer slamming into my chest. She wasn’t in the right headspace for any conversation and I kept reminding myself as I stood.

“We should talk later when we’ve all calmed down,” I suggested.

“I don’t want to speak to either of you again,” she hissed.

It took more effort than usual to swallow the lump in my throat as I let myself out of their dorm. Just as I was about to lean against the door and wallow, Marie slipped out behind me and shut the door. I took a step back, barely avoiding a pair of girls rushing past.

“Sorry,” she apologized.

“It’s fine.”

Silence filled the space for a moment, and I had no idea how to fill it. Cate said I would know what to say but I was at a loss.

“I’m sorry about what I said…that day,” Marie delivered gently.

My eyes snapped up at her. “Oh.”

She sighed. “I was just angry, and I thought you were a part of it but, Emma kept saying that you would never do something like that. I just didn’t know how to reach out or say anything.”

I know the feeling.

“I accept your apology but I’m also sorry that no one came back for you. I guess it worked out, though?”

Marie sighed and leaned against her door. “Sort of. The perks are nice and I’m in crim now but I feel like everyone’s looking at me and expects something from me; almost like they’re waiting for me to fail.”

“Really? They had me convinced you’d be the black Starlight,” I teased.

Marie laughed half-heartedly. “I still want to be a hero, though, someone like her people can look up to.”

“Anyone in particular?”

Marie hesitated. “My little sister. We were both obsessed with heroes when we were younger, but I was the one who got Compound V. She always looked up to me and I want to be someone who would make her proud.”

“That’s a really admirable goal,” I complimented.

She smiled softly. “What about you? Shouldn’t you be my competition to be the black Starlight?”

My expression faltered and I looked down at my French acrylics. “No, I don’t think I have the showmanship you do. Besides, my goal isn’t to be in the Seven.”

“Really? What do you want to do?” Marie asked.

“So, I have this four year plan and if I follow the steps I am on to a T, I will graduate with a city contract and be engaged to an eligible supe.”

Usually, when I told someone my four year plan, my chest swelled and my shoulders rolled back unconsciously. This time, it felt like I was a toddler showing my mom a drawing I made in school.

“Is that it?” Marie asked.

“I know it’s more traditional and maybe even a little lame but, it’s what I want,” I maintained.

Marie nodded slowly.

“What is it?”

“Nothing, I just imagined you doing something in, like, criminal AI or stopping criminals from re-offending.”

“Both are great, they’re just not me.”

“Which is fine,” Marie insisted.

She sounded a little too eager but I let it go as we started walking down the hallway.

“What should we do about Emma?” Marie asked.

“I’ve never seen her like that before but she’ll need time to cool off.”

“Sounds good, I just have nowhere to go until the gala tonight.”

“You could come to Si Chi for a bit. I can’t promise they won’t try to initiate you, though.”

Marie laughed. “Me, in a sorority?”

“Hey, we’re getting more black girls this year so you never know!”

“Whatever but, yeah, I’d like to hang out with you…at your house.”

Even though Marie rushed the last part, a smile quirked on the corners of my mouth. It would be nice to have a new friend over and it was even nicer that there was no more tension between us.

“You know, Emma never told us the name of that girl,” Marie pondered once we got outside.

“Oh, that’s easy.” I grabbed my phone and scrolled through my contacts until I reached the right one.

Shelby answered on the first ring. “Y/N, hi!” “Hey, are you on your way to class?” I asked.

“Yeah, if I’m late one more time, Professor Elix is going to make me do an improv one-woman show!” she panted.

“Well, I don’t want to slow you down but, you have class with Emma Meyer, right?”

“Oh yeah, Intro to Stage, why?”

“Cool. She told me her stage partner has an incredible Insta aesthetic, but she never told me her name and I need new inspo.”

“Oh, that’s Justine. I don’t know her last name but I’m sure you’ll find her.”

“Thanks, Shelby. Have fun in class.”

“Thanks!”

I hung up and turned to Marie, whose eyebrows were raised. “What?”

“What was that voice?” Marie asked.

“It was my voice. Haven’t you heard of code-switching?”

“Fine. Did you get the name?”

“Yes, Justine and I’ve met her.”

“What? How?”

“She’s rushing Si Chi.” I couldn’t keep the devilish smile from working its way into my mouth.

“What does that look mean?” Marie asked.

“It means that there are many more perks to being in a top house besides living in it.”

For some reason, everyone thinks that white girls have a monopoly on passive aggression and relational aggression. That was not the case at all; black girls simply are more inclined towards active aggression but we’re capable of both. I proved as much during Brink’s gala.

The ballroom was packed with board members, trustees, alumni, and the wealthiest GOD U students, the latter being my target of interest. They were all easy to approach since I had met them at some function or another.

“Y/N,” Bianca Peterson gushed as she hugged me.

Her Gucci Guilty perfume tickled my nose and I willed myself not to sneeze as I politely pulled away from her. “Bianca, it’s been too long. I think the last time I saw you was at Beta Ro’s Brunch for Boy Scouts.”

Bianca nodded, light auburn curls bouncing around her sculpted features. “Yes, we bonded over jewelry.”

“And you still have fantastic taste,” I mentioned, gesturing to the gold buckle around her wrist.

“Thank you, it was a present from Theo but I gave him a few hints,” she bragged lightly.

“How is rush going?” I asked.

“Pretty well, our pledges are shaping up nicely this year, not that they don’t every year,” she quickly added the last part.

“Of course. Do you have a lot of girls from Counting?”

“We’re interested in a couple, why? Are you trying to poach?”

I shook my head. “Not at all, I just wasn’t sure if you heard what Layla from Zeta Nu discovered.”

Bianca raised a microbladed brow. “No, I don’t think I have.”

I took a deep inhale and slowly shook my head in disbelief. “Oh, well, I should let it come from her then.”

A moment later, Bianca glanced across the room at Layla Ruthers, the president of Zeta Nu, who was smiling politely at a pair of hunched-over old men.

“In case I don’t have a chance to talk to her, what happened?” Bianca asked.

I glanced around us for a moment before leaning closer. “Apparently, a freshman posted a video about another girl’s eating disorder.”

“Really?” Bianca’s eyes widened.

I nodded. “Layla was insulted for the other girl and banned the pledge from rushing Zeta Nu. She even said that no respectable house would accept someone so low-class.”

“Oh,” Bianca uttered.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take up all your time. I should go mingle.”

I made it about two steps before Bianca gently grabbed one of my arms.

“Wait, Y/N. Did Layla say the name of the pledge?”

My eyes wandered around the twinkling lights of the room for a second. “Justine something, I think.”

“Thank you. I’ll see you later.”

“Sure!”

The rest of my conversations followed that pattern. Each girl I spoke to was shocked and horrified by my words. Plus, none of them would dare speak to the other; that would mean another house had better information than them. My final target was easily the most important one: Sydney.

In her ice-blue mermaid dress and intricate updo, she looked more like Cinderella than a gala attendee. She was standing at a table, nodding her head at something a shorter guy was saying.

“Excuse me,” I politely interrupted, “I need to borrow Sydney for a second.”

The guy deflated slightly. “Sure.”

“I’ll see you soon.” Sydney huffed a sigh of relief as soon as we were out of earshot. “Thank you, I don’t know what he was even talking about.”

“Anytime,” I replied.

She snatched a champagne flute from a passing server and downed half of it. “I can’t wait for this night to be over.”

I nodded. “It is morbid despite their attempt to dress it up.”

“Yeah, and my parents won’t stop bugging me about my future. I can only apply to so many internships and not everyone is looking for a telekinetic,” she griped. “Sorry, how are you?”

“I’m alright. Ironically, I think he’d hate the name they picked but I didn’t know him super well,” I admitted.

“Right.”

Here it goes.

“So, I think the event the other day was a success,” I commented.

“Definitely. The house was packed. It’s too bad we can’t accept them all.”

Sydney smiled as she spoke.

“I know. It’s great that there’s so much interest.” I paused for a second. “But, I wanted to tell you that something came up with one of the pledges.”

Sydney gestured for me to continue.

“Even though my social media deep dive on the pledges was thorough, something came up today that I thought you should know when considering the pledges,” I explained.

“Okay.”

“Today, Justine posted a video exposing another girl’s eating disorder. Several of the girls were upset when they saw it.”

“That’s awful,” Sydney responded.

“It’s also so disappointing since I met Justine during that event, and she was saying how women empowerment is important to her. I know that women empowerment is a huge passion for you and a foundation for Si Chi and to imagine a pledge so willing to tear down another woman infiltrating the safe space you building is horrifying.”

Despite the liquor, I could tell Sydney was processing my words quicker than any computer. Her expression shifted from shock to anger to coldness. Then, she finished the last of her champagne and set it on the table closest to us. “Thank you for telling me, Y/N. I’ll see you later.”

As she walked away, I grinned widely at the response. Bid Day was going to be even more fun and interesting than last year. To celebrate, I grabbed myself a flute of champagne and sipped it as I started to wander the room.

“Y/N!”

My body froze at the masculine voice and my mind raced with what to say or do. Finally, I decided to face Jordan. They were in their masculine form and standing at a table by themselves. Though they looked fantastic in their navy suit, they looked like they hadn’t slept in days.

“Hello.”

I practically sang it and prayed for someone to make the floor swallow me.

“Can we talk?” he asked.

“Um, sure.” I walked closer to their table and rested my forearms on it.

 “It’s good to see you,” he started. “Outside of class, I mean.”

“You too.”

Jordan nodded and rubbed the back of his neck. “That’s good.” He paused. “I’m sorry about everything.”

I looked up from tapping my nails on the tablecloth. “Wh---”

“Please, let me finish. That day…I don’t know why I didn’t just tell you that I wouldn’t throw you under the bus but I wouldn’t even think about it. How could I do that to my little freshman?”

For the first time ever, my chest warmed at the nickname. However, I tried to bite back the smile that was worming its way onto my face.

I glanced away for a moment, crossing my arms over my purple sleeveless satin gown. “Well, I guess I forgive you,” I playfully grumbled before turning back to him. “But you still did it pretty easily to Marie.”

Jordan’s expression faltered and he sipped some champagne. “Don’t mention her.”

“Why not? She’s my friend and we did a very mean thing,” I argued.

“Look, I protected myself and you that night, I won’t apologize for that. Besides, she’s still here and she’s doing great,” he spat.

“I know you’re pissed about the rankings but, those can change, especially with how hard you work and how powerful you are.”

Jordan scoffed. “That’s how it should work but no one wants to back a bigender Asian.”

His words made me stop for a second. In all the time I knew them, Jordan seemed invincible to punches, laser beams, electric shocks, and words. They made succeeding at Godolkin look so easy but it must have been anything but. Plus, Luke and Brink’s death must have impacted everything else.

“We’ll see about that,” I challenged. “There’s about thirty trustees and every board member in this room. There will have to be a few who will like you.”

Jordan hesitated. “I’m not really in the mood to promote myself.”

“Then let me talk,” I offered.

He eyed me for a while before crossing over to my side of the table and looping one of his arms with mine. “Don’t make me look bad, freshie.”

“I think that’s impossible.”

The first target was easy: a thirtysomething white guy with floppy light brown hair and an oversized gray suit. I focused on him for a moment, gathering as much information as I could.

“Trevor Emerson, GOD U alum and old money beneficiary,” I muttered to Jordan.

“Isn’t he supposed to hate me?” Jordan hissed back.

“He’s overcome by white guilt since his recent discovery that all the black and brown people who built and managed his family’s manor were not salaried employees,” I explained. “He’s dying to look as much of an ally as possible.”

Jordan straightened up. “Good job, freshie.”

“I haven’t even gotten started.” I painted a polite smile on my face. “Mr. Emerson, it’s so nice to meet you, can we bother you for a moment?”

Two guilty and three haughty donors later, Jordan and I found ourselves at a different table. It was the first time that I saw him smile that night.

“You were amazing out there,” Jordan exclaimed.

“Thank you but you also made my job a little easier being talented and whatever,” I joked.

“Seriously.” Jordan grabbed my hand. “You might have saved my ass.”

I tried to ignore the tingle that shot up from my hand into the side of my neck. “It’s okay, I’m happy to help.”

When they announced that the video was about to start Jordan sulked again. “I can’t believe they’re making us sit through this shit.”

“Me neither.” I rest my hand on top of his. “I’m sorry I didn’t ask sooner but, are you okay?”

Jordan laughed humorlessly. “No but schmoozing with you did help a little. I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah.”

When we parted our separate ways, I wiped my sweaty palms on my dress skirt and approached my table. Fortunately, Mom and Dad had not burned down the ballroom with their arguing. In fact, when I got to their table, Mom was on her phone and Dad was rhythmically tapping his fingers against the tablecloth, looking anywhere but her.

“Hi, were you bored with me gone?” I asked, giving Dad a side hug.

“Not at all. I met a few board members and sold a few pictures,” he responded.

I nodded and slowly took the middle seat between them. The video was equal parts patronizing and infuriating. However, my parents’ whispers kept me from focusing too much on the video.

“Y/M/N, can you get off the phone for one second? They’re playing the video,” Dad hissed.

“I am about to cut the biggest deal of this quarter. They can send it,” Mom hissed back, waving a manicured hand for emphasis.

“Mom, people are starting to stare,” I quietly interjected.

“Let them stare. This is what’s paying for you to be here.”

“Don’t act like I don’t contribute!” Their words used to make me flinch but I forced myself to sit up straighter and breathe.

“I’m grateful for it, for both of you, really. You both paid to be here and I thought you would not want to miss the man they’re honoring,” I whispered.

Those words made Mom slowly mutter something into the phone before placing it face down on the table and leaning forward. At that same time, they flashed a picture of Brink and me across the screen. He had been meeting with my small group when the photographer appeared.

Dad squeezed an arm around my shoulder and I softly leaned into his touch.

“Thank God you lost that baby fat,” Mom commented.

“Y/M/N,” Dad said quietly.

“You know it’s true, Y/D/N,” Mom hissed back.

Suddenly, Dad’s arm felt like a boa constrictor, and I gracefully slipped out of its grasp. When the video ended, I drank a fresh flute of champagne. The bubbles instantly went to my head as I giggled at Dean Shetty introducing Marie.

She looked really pretty even though she was nervous.

“Do you know her?” Mom asked over the applause.

“We’re friends,” I replied.

“So why is she a guardian and not you?”

“She was more involved in stopping Luke than me,” I lied.

 When Dean Shetty cued everyone to return to socializing, Mom turned to me.

“Your grades are fantastic and your standing in your house is good,” Mom began. “But eligible bachelors will not notice you unless you stand out like her.”

“Y/M/N, leave her alone. Anyone who doesn’t notice Y/N isn’t worthy of being in our family anyway,” Dad defended.

Mom ignored him. “That girl, Marie Moreau, is not your friend, she is your competition. You are in the prime setting to have everything you’ve ever wanted but she could snatch it from you. You’re supposed to be able to see things like this coming, Y/N.”

“I do see things coming and I know Marie wouldn’t do that to me,” I quipped.

At that moment, Mom’s eyes bore so deep into me that I didn’t think that anyone could claw them out. Her eyes looked like they were going to bug out of her head at any moment and I could feel my breathing pick up.

“I’m sorry, it just slipped out,” I promised.

It felt like forever until she leaned back in her seat and grabbed her phone.

“Make sure it doesn’t ‘slip out’ again. Now go socialize.”

“I need a minute, Mom, I’ve been socializing since we got here.”

Mom rolled her eyes. “This again.”

“What?”

“Y/M/N, please.”

“No, no, Y/D/N, she is constantly using, what, anxiety to get out of speaking to people. You are always too soft on her and make me look like the bad guy. I’m the one helping her be normal,” Mom snapped. “Anxiety didn’t exist when we were her age, we just did what we had to do, and look where we are now.”

I wondered if Emma ever felt as small as I did in that moment. Then, I wondered if she ever made herself small to hide from people, even her mom. Wordlessly, I left the table and tried to avoid any cameras as the tears burned in the corners of my eyes.

I tried to take deep breaths to calm my trembling chest and keep my throat busy. My chest shifted from trembling to heavy and I started looking around the room.

“I hear one piano…feel two fingers…smell three different alcohols…and see---”

“Y/N, are you okay?” Cate’s voice broke me out of my rhythm and I glanced to see her sitting with Marie and Jordan, who was in their feminine form.

My chest felt much lighter and I quickly wiped away my tears. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Bullshit,” Jordan called gently.

Cate pulled me into a hug and had me sit between her and Marie. “What happened?”

“My parents, well, my mom mostly. I guess I got too anxious for her, and she yelled at me,” I rambled.

Cate smiled softly. “Then you came at the perfect time. We were just talking about our horrible parents.”

My ears perked up. “Really?”

“Well, mine are dead,” Marie commented.

I turned to her and placed my hands on top of hers. “What? I’m so sorry. How did it…”

“I accidentally killed them with my powers,” Marie explained.

“That must have been horrible.”

Marie barely nodded and I squeezed her hands. “I just told my little brother to go away during a camping trip. He never came back and my mom pretty much locked me away,” Cate confessed. “I was seven.”

 “What?” I whispered.

“I killed my grandpa with my powers,” Jordan interjected.

We all turned to her and I cocked my head to the side.

“No, you didn’t,” Cate countered.

Jordan smiled. “You’re right, I was feeling left out.”

I didn’t think that I could laugh the way I did but it felt so nice. At least I had friends again.

When I started sipping on the whiskey Cate stole, I saw a brief image flash before my eyes. There was a guy with curly brown hair covered in dirt running away from several bloody bodies. He paused for a moment and opened his hand, revealing a tiny sleeping Emma. When the vision left, Andre was standing in front of us.

“Seriously?” I complained before he even spoke.

[clockwayswrites]

A Broken Sort of Normal - Part 3

wc: 832 CW: Canon-Typical Violence, Self-Doubt Masterpost

Danny kept running into Flash— or rather Flashes. Sometimes it was the older Flash and sometimes it was the younger one (the ex-Kid Flash). One of them seriously needed to pick a different name. Danny has had to start making up names to tell them apart in his head and that’s just embarrassing. Not for him of course, he’s a genius, but for the Flashes who ended up as things like Westmead Lord, Ravage Again, and Secretariat for the older Flash and things like Earnhardt, Hamilton, and Bolt for the younger Flash. The older Flash really lost out, but the racing animal name had already been established with Seabiscuit.

It earned him a lot of looks. It also, apparently, made him memorable. He didn’t want to be memorable. He wanted to keep his head down, help people, and be left to live his life. He had accidentally traded everything to be normal to let him just be normal and boring.

Apparently the Flashes didn’t get the memo.

No, the Flashes started to rely on Danny to keep a cool head and be able to handle the hard situations. This meant that there was the tendency for Danny to finish up treating one person only to be picked up bridal style and whisked off to another person in need.

And if Danny sometimes used his powers to phase a limb through a heavy piece of rubble or temporarily to ice over a wound? Well, he was careful about being alone and only in the very worst cases. Those saves only raised his notoriety though.

At least he was really starting to find his feet with the Speed Force. Not literally— he got the feeling he was best being fully off of any surface but whatever Flash was carrying him— but when they whipped to a stop he was quick on his feet and hurrying off to help.

“Hey.”

Danny looked up from peeling off his gloves to find Hines!Flash in front of him. He was annoyingly full of energy, bouncing on the balls of his feet. (Danny was jealous.)

“Hey, is there someone else?” Danny rasped, voice sore from screaming out orders and instructions. He’d been made a unit lead just this week.

“Nope! I um, just I got you some cold water?” Flash said, wiggling the bottle.

“Well, aren’t you my hero,” Danny said, stuffing the gloves in the medical waste bag in his kit. He was glad he didn’t have to put on a fresh pair.

“It’s, um, I just thought—” Flash stumbled over the words.

And look at that, the guy was blushing— red from the top of his head to his shiny boots.

Danny laughed as he disinfected his hands. “I’m being serious, the water sounds amazing right now, thanks.”

“Oh! You’re welcome!” Flash said with a grin.

The water bottle was blessedly cold in Danny’s hand, and he took a moment to press it to his temple before he cracked open. Half the bottle was gone in one go. That tasted good after the day’s work. “I needed that, thanks.”

“I, yeah! Of course! Do you need another or…?” Flash said, still blushing bright red and bouncing on his toes.

“Nah, I better go check in with my team and the unit lead for clean up,” Danny said, hiking his thumb over his shoulder.

“Team? Are you unit lead now?” Flash asked. He really was like a perky puppy.

But it was nice to be asked, really nice. He had sent the news to Tucker and had gotten a thumbs up in response a day later. He didn’t even bother with Sam— she was off in some country saving some animal. He had last been able to get a hold of her in two years. Jazz— right, it was Jasmin now— Jasmin hadn’t even let him finish his news before she had to leave the call. He knew she was busy with grad-school and Lacey’s pregnancy, but still…

Danny shook the thoughts away and tried to put on a smile. “Yeah, just a few days ago!”

“That’s amazing, dude! Congrats!”

That sounded really sincere. His smile got much more real. “Thanks. It’s a big step for sure, but I’m really proud. But... I’ve got to go finish that all up.”

“Oh, sure! Um, see you next attack?” Flash almost actually paused for a moment. “Wow, okay, yeah even I know that sounds awful, it’s not like I want there to be a next attack! Just, you know, it’s your job and my not job job.”

Danny felt a little bad, but couldn’t help but laugh at that. He secured his kit on shoulder, giving a little wave. “Yeah, I get you. Stay safe Verstappen!”

He could hear Flash repeat ‘Verstappen’ as he headed off in a light jog. So maybe he had looked up famous racers just to have more names, sue him. He now knew about the wide world of formula one racing— mostly against his will. That sport was a soap opera.

-----

AN: Full disclosure I know nothing about horse racing, nascar, or formula 1, but two friends have gotten into F1 and it really does just sound like a soap opera from this side!

I think I'm starting to find Wally's voice? Maybe?

Since I don't tag anymore, because of the new post editor/being shadow banned, you can instead be notified in the same way by subscribing here:

[eumppattv]

𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐒 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 with enhypen

pairing ot7 x reader genre ᩍ established relationship + fluff warnings ꕁ none ➜ masterlist enha permanent taglist here! a/n: requests are open :)

heeseung ☆ ⊹ ๑

I think he would struggle with gift giving, because he prefers to show his love through actions and words. he would definitely ask around for ideas, and he would be stressing. In the end, I think he would settle for a matching item. Something to show the world that you belong to each other. I think matching shoes, or hoodies. He would also make sure to spray them with his cologne, and get all cocky about it.

jay ☆ ⊹ ๑

I think he would get you something you’ve needed. If you’ve been talking about needing to buy a new bag, best believe that’s what’s under the christmas tree. The thing is, he would buy the fanciest one ever. You need sunglasses? Gucci. You need that new bag? Channel. You always try to tell him you don’t need fancy gifts, but he always argues that you deserve the highest quality items. He will have you looking fly for the new year.

jake ☆ ⊹ ๑

100% some type of jewelry. Obviously this boy would get you something Tiffany! I think he’d get a small bracelet or ring, and wrap the box in your favorite color, with a cute little bow around it. He would get something with a stone that has meaning to it. I feel like he would also get a pendant with a picture of you on the inside. It would be a picture from when you first started dating, or maybe before you did to remind you of your love for each other.

sunghoon ☆ ⊹ ๑

He would be super shy about getting a present, scared to seem like a softy (even though he’s so down bad for you). I think he would focus a lot on mental health, especially if he knows you’re having a rough time. He would get you some self help books, maybe even a journal. He would have the cute pens and highlighters, and tell you to write everything you feel in there, and then talk to him if you’re having a hard time. He really just wants the best for you.

sunoo ☆ ⊹ ๑

Sunoo would get skincare and makeup. He would ask his makeup artists for recommendations, and put them all in a cute basket. He would add some chocolate (mint chocolate ofc), making the perfect winter self care kit. He would definitely get matching face masks for you both to wear later that night. He would be so excited to show how each product works together, and would even make you try them that same night.

jungwon ☆ ⊹ ๑

I think he would get something very sentimental. I can image him getting a cute plushie for you, holding a jar. In that jar would be a bunch of little papers he wrote with reasons why he loves you, or his favorite things about you. He might even do a jar of affirmations, to keep you positive. He would want to show you how much he appreciates your love. He would also instruct you to read them whenever he’s on tour, so you don’t get lonely.

ni-ki ☆ ⊹ ๑

He would be super shy when it comes to his feelings, preferring to show you through quality time and his actions. He is just not the best with words, unless he’s writing. I think he would initially give you a present with clothes you’ve wanted, maybe stuff you saw at a store that he later picked up for you. Then before he leaves, he would give you his actual present; a letter. He would want you to read it when he leaves, and it would be the sweetest thing ever.

🝮 taglist open!

@avocarua @kpoprhia @haechansbbg @yeehawnana @lilly-bubblelops @aishigrey @gweoriz @soul-is-a-strange-kid

[emeritus-fuckers]

Hiya. I too loved the "Ghouls with a pregnant Ghoulette s/o." Could we get one with Omega and/or Aether? Please. You are appreciated!

Omega and Aether with a pregnant Ghoulette darling

Omega

Protective. He's still his usual, gentle self, but protective.

You can see his more wild nature that he used to display on stage when he first started.

It shows only when he thinks there's any sort of danger involved.

Makes you a nice, comfortable nest in his bed <3

You do not get to move. At all.

Omega carries you around, cuddling you to his chest. He's a big strong boy. He can carry you around without as issue.

He does get a bit annoyingly overprotective over the stupidest things sometimes.

For example, he doesn't want to risk you drowning when you're taking a bath. He needs to be right close to you and mak sure you and the kit(s) are safe.

Strokes you. Not just your stomach, but also your shoulders or hair.

Especially if you're shorter than him. Which, in most cases, you are. He's really stupidly tall.

Genuinely how fucking dare he be this tall. Why is he so tall? To spit on me?

Back to the point, though.

He makes you nice, warm food which is always just the right temperature.

Honestly, he just takes over all the chores. He's very good at the whole domestic thing. A natural home maker.

Bakes you a pie every weekend to keep you happy.

He absolutely is there for whatever check-ups or doctor's appointments.

Does a lot of research while you're asleep to create the best possible routine for you.

Excercise, walks, regular meals and naps...

Omega will take care of you and that's final.

Aether

He's so thrilled to be a dad! So excited!

He's all over the place. Shows you off to everyone.

He tries to feel the baby kick right away. Insists he felt it, even if you're only two weeks in.

This boy's big arms are wrapped around your waist whenever you sit down. He wants to feel close to the baby. As close as possible.

He's gonna lay his head on your lap, nuzzling as close to your crotch as possible so he can both feel the baby and sniff you down there (panty sniffer Aether supremacy).

He's just... all over your personal space. Snuggling up to you.

And once he can actually feel the baby move?

Yeah, you don't get any privacy. Not even on the toilet. His hands are all over you.

He's gonna be all over you all the time. No matter what.

His arms are your nest.

Sure, he throws some blankets and pillows on the bed, but his arms are your actual nest.

You don't get out of your nest.

He loves you so much.

And when you do have the baby, he's stuck to you both.

Usually you hold the baby in your arms while he carries you both around.

Aether is just very cuddly and touch starved. He's gonna be all over you and the baby.

He's just so super happy about it all!

~

Written by Jez.

Taglist: @ivyanddaisies @copias-fluffy-asscheeks @lunarsromantichomicide @randodummy @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @calliedion-dungeon @nuntia @dio-niisio @mamacarlyle @mybotanicaldemise @igodownjustlikeholymary @bloodmoon-bites @natoncesaid

[bonefall]

Any thoughts on Nettlepaw? The apprentice who helps Mapleshade out and tells her Frecklewish saw/knew her kits drowned? He's a complete nothing later but he sits in my head as the one clan cat willing to show compassion to a mother who just lost her children, and I wonder how he felt when she went on to murder his clan mates. Because the obvious way, he feels bad and hates her. But I could also see the opposite, where he sees it a hypocritical of Oakstar to cry for murder after his son's drowning, then be horrified his daughter was injured/killed by a mother whose children died because of him. Idk, I like that he's one of only two people to reach out to help Mapleshade and I think he deserves some more attention

I have a really strong headcanon that Nettlepaw is actually the brother of Flowerpaw, the apprentice who died trying to save Birchface from the river. I really like the idea that the simple reason he helped Mapleshade in that moment was because he was so very tired of hearing about innocent people dying.

So... who cares if Ravenwing is going to be upset I lost some herbs, or my mentor might make me pick ticks off the elders? I can't do this anymore. Please, let there just be a small moment of kindness. Even if it doesn't last.

In BB, Nettlepaw is the son of Beetail, the deputy. He also happens to be the half-brother of Birchface and Frecklewish.

Beetail's first mate was Shinecloud, who is the sister of BB!Oakstar. She fell from a tree, and Oakstar helped raise his nespring with Beetail in her absence.

Eventually, Beetail fell in love with Dawnfeather, and Flower and Nettle came along. The two were close with their older half-siblings, it was a happy blended family.

So when Flowerpaw and Birchface died in the same night, it was a devastating blow. Nettlepaw took it better than Frecklewish did, though.

He's got Dawnfeather, alive and well at the moment. Frecklewish lost her brother, the one who remembered their mother.

So Nettlepaw doesn't really know how to help, even though he wants to. Superficially it looks like the same kind of grief, but it's very different underneath.

When Mapleshade's kittens came around, everything looked so much brighter. It was like Frecklewish was her old self again.

I don't see Nettlebreeze as being a very abstract thinker. He's not particularly poetic or eloquent, he's very straightforward and honest in how he assesses the world. The code is the code... but it's very sad that Mapleshade is all alone and the children are dead. It's not right.

Something feels wrong that the kittens lived thinking he was their half-uncle, and died thinking he hated them now. That the answer to so much death was even more death. And, sadly, it's not about to get any better.

Sad character, basically. He yearns for kindness in a cruel world, just before a rampage that will take his last sibling from him, and with the Crusades looming on the horizon.

[chaotic-orphan]

INTOXICATING FEAR (IX)

Much Needed Alone Time

Read part one here

Continued from here

TW: overall content warning, very uncomfortable, forced self-harm, self-harm, mentions of self-harm, explicit self harm, gory self harm, blood, cuts, knives, cutting, explicit detail of blood/wounds, gross depictions of blood, torture, threats of violence, hopelessness, sadistic whumper

This one is even a bit squidgy for me at parts so take care of the warnings and of yourselves! Enjoy!

*~*~*~*~*

“Wakey wakey, Kit,” Ambrose sang. That was his only warning before a slap echoed around the room and Kit’s eyes shot open in shock. Ambrose was crouching in front of Kit, pale red lips tilted up into a half smile as Kit jerked forward. He didn’t get very far though.

Kit’s arms were kept restrained awkwardly behind him, bound tightly wrist to wrist. Kit frowned at Ambrose in question.

“Where’s Superhero?” Kit asked, voice erring on cautious. If Ambrose had managed to subdue or God forbid kidnap Superhero… or use him as his own little puppet toy plaything, then there really was no hope for either of them.

“Oh, don’t worry your pretty little head about Superhero, Kit. He had to nip out on an errand which gives us some much-needed alone time,” Ambrose said, his voice too high and pleased with himself as he spoke, but his eyes… Kit swallowed the lump in his throat at the pain they promised. “Ah, there you are. There’s my scared, timid little Kit. You forgot yourself before, it’s okay. You can admit it, it’s only the two of us here after all.”

“I didn’t forget myself,” Kit snarled, bearing his teeth at Ambrose and jerking forward in the chair as far as he were able to. “I am done playing by the rules of your sick twisted games.”

Ambrose tilted his head to the side, dark eyes drinking in Kit’s threat. “Did seeing Superhero make you brave, Kit?”

“He’s going to see right through you,” Kit sneered, “and when he does, I’ll be there. Watching as he beats the—”

Ambrose jumped at Kit, one hand going to his throat while the other pressed a knife against Kit’s cheek. Ambrose wrenched Kit’s head up, so he was staring directly into Ambrose’s eyes with that cute little defiant look. Ambrose revelled at how still Kit went once Ambrose introduced the knife to his face.

“You won’t be able to watch if I pluck out those pretty little eyes, Kit, would you?” Ambrose mused. Kit shook his, trying to shake free Ambrose’s grip, but Ambrose tightened his hold and pressed the knife in deeper until Kit stopped moving. “Ah, ah, ah, Kit. Play nice or my hand might just slip.”

“Take my eyes!” Kit spat, his voice taking on a feral growl to it, as he struggled furiously in his restraints. “Take whatever the fuck you want because you will fuck up sooner or later and it’s only a matter of time until Superhero finds out who you really are! So go ahead!”

Kit craned his neck up further, pressing into the knife that Ambrose held. Daring him.

Bold.

Ambrose pulled away, dropping all contact from Kit. Kit let out a scoff as he dropped his head and rolled his shoulders.

“Yeah, thought so.”

“You know, Kit,” Ambrose said with a sigh, pressing the tip of the knife against his index finger and twirling it thoughtfully. He turned his back to Kit, walking towards the front door.

“You’re right. I didn’t really think the whole sickness thing through, if Superhero comes back and you’re still as feverish as you were, well,” Ambrose said inclining his head, with a wan smile: “he’d probably recommend a hospital or a healer… both of which I have no need of.”

Kit remained silent. He glared at Ambrose as he continued.

“So, while you were out of it, I was trying to think of a way to get Superhero off our backs and I had a little lightbulb moment, Kit,” Ambrose said, and looked over his shoulder at Kit with a grin, “you wanna know what it was?”

“I’m sure you’ll tell me anyway.”

“You’re so un-fun, but I will,” said Ambrose, turning to face Kit now. “Sometimes stress manifests itself as illness, Kit.”

“Well, I am sick of you, so that makes sense,” Kit grumbled. Ambrose laughed.

“And sometimes, it manifests as mental illness.” Kit’s brows furrowed in question. Ambrose smiled. “Don’t you want to have a guess at what I mean by that?”

“Not particularly.”

Ambrose shrugged. “Good. So, we can begin then.”

Kit tensed in the chair as Ambrose walked purposefully towards him, around the chair and out of sight. Kit turned his head, but Ambrose pushed it back, so Kit was forced to stare forward.

“Hey! Hey! What’re you—”

“Oh, not so brave now, are we?” Ambrose asked, sarcasm dripping from every word.

When the cool metal pressed against Kit’s wrist he jerked forward, trying to get away but Ambrose said: “stay still,” and the sludge like command melted Kit’s brain until he was forced into immobile submission.

The metal pressed against Kit’s wrist again and to Kit’s surprise, Ambrose cut him free of the ropes or whatever was tying him to the chair. He still couldn’t move but for some reason being free didn’t exactly make Kit’s heart sing with joy. Something like dread settled at the bottom of his gut instead as Ambrose walked around the chair again.

“Now, Kit, illness… sickness, physical sickness can be treated by a healer or a doctor but mental illness? Especially from stress, perhaps… oh I don’t know, work related stress from being a hero, for example. That is treated by time away from the stressors.”

Ambrose paused to let his words properly sink into Kit’s brain. Ambrose didn’t speak again until Kit’s wide eyes met Ambrose’s with a panicked kind of hatred.

“No,” Kit said. “No! You can’t—”

“Oh, yes, Kit. Yes, I can.”

“Superhero would never… he wouldn’t—” Kit blubbered before furious eyes met Ambrose’s dark ones. “He would check on me every day—”

“Would he? A good soul like Superhero? Or would the guilt of having maybe pushed you too hard, or not having seen the signs earlier prevent him from coming regularly?”

“Wait, Ambrose. You can’t do this!”

“Oh, I can,” Ambrose chuckled.

Kit’s mouth screwed up desperately, his breathing coming out a bit faster than necessary. “But— but I won’t be as fun if you can’t fuck with me when I’m at the hero tower, and you won’t learn about anything or be able to take down the heroes from within, or— or—”

“Oh relax,” Ambrose said with a wave of his hand. “This isn’t going to be permanent, Kit. Just a long enough break away from the stressful environment of being a hero. Some good old-fashioned R&R with yours truly will set you right.”

Ambrose bit back a grin when he saw tears gather behind Kit’s eyes as he struggled to try and fight Ambrose’s compulsion.

“Please, Ambrose. Please! Anything but that, please. I’ll be good, I’ll do whatever you want. Please, I’ll stop fighting you. Please just don’t— don’t—” Kit cried, cutting himself off with a heartfelt sob, sniffing as the tears started falling down his cheeks.

Ambrose moved closer, cooing at Kit’s pathetic display of desperation. He pressed a cold hand against Kit’s cheek and brushed the tear streaks away with the coarse pad of his thumb. A sympathetic smile on his stupidly too-red lips.

“It’s okay, Kit. Everything will be fine. Come on, walk with me to the bathroom. The blood will be easier to clean off there.”

To Kit’s horror his body obeyed Ambrose’s command. Every neuron in Kit’s brain was firing at him to stop, to not go with Ambrose, to fight, to regain control over his own body – but it was all in vain.

Kit stood from the chair and followed Ambrose across his living room into his bathroom. Ambrose turned on the light, and turned to grin at Kit, holding out a hand.

“What?!” Kit barked, wiping the angry tears from his eyes.

“Well, you have two choices Kit, you either; step into the bath or hold your arms over it,” Ambrose said, leaning his lower back against the sink and crossing his long legs. “The choice is yours; it doesn’t really affect me.”

“Is it?” Kit asked, coming to stand in front of Ambrose, his heart thundering against his ears. If he could stall for time and wait for Superhero to come back, he could catch Ambrose in the act. He’d know that Kit was suffering at the hands of a fucking tyrant.

The corner of Ambrose’s lips quipped up. “Knock yourself out, Kit. Enjoy the freedom.”

“Except it’s not freedom cause either way you’re going to make me do one of them, aren’t you?”

“Well obviously,” he deadpanned. “But I can wait if you want. We can wait until your precious Superhero comes back and instead of hurting yourself you can hurt him too. Would you like that, Kit?”

“You said you wouldn’t read my mind anymore. Takes the fun out of it, have you changed your tune?”

Ambrose rolled his eyes and stood to his full height, stepping forward and knocking Kit back a step with his shoulder. Kit’s eyebrows rose in surprise as he stumbled back, forgetting that Ambrose was taller than him.

“Honestly Kit, I try,” Ambrose said with another step. Kit matched it with one backwards, still glaring up at him. “But sometimes it’s so rare that you think anything in that little noodle of yours, that the thoughts are too loud for me to ignore.”

Ambrose pressed a finger into Kit’s forehead and tipped him back another step before Kit batted his hand away.

“Real funny, Ambrose. Hah-hah!”

“I try,” Ambrose said, flashing a charming smile. “But you’re right. I have decided. In the bath is better than out.”

Without pausing Ambrose pressed his palm flat on Kit’s chest, fingers spread and shoved Kit backwards. Kit hadn’t realised how close he was to the bath, so it came as a surprise when his thigh hit the edge. He shot his hands out to steady himself too late, failing to grab hold of Ambrose and gravity had him in its claws. Ambrose getting further away as Kit fell, his head smacking off the tiles as he landed awkwardly in the tub.

“Motherfucker!” Kit cried, rubbing his head with a scowl as it pounded from the whack.

Ambrose shrugged leaning back against the sink again, arms folded across his chest. “I did give you the choice to get in the bath of your own accord. This one’s on you.”

“Maybe I want to lean over it,” Kit grumbled, fumbling to right himself. When he settled Kit glared up at Ambrose from the tub. “Well, we don’t have all day. Force me to do whatever you want; I don’t care anymore.”

“Kit,” Ambrose chided. “Don’t have that attitude, come on. Make it fun for me. Struggle a bit.”

“What’s the point? You’ll just use your powers on me and get what you want eventually. Let’s just cut through the bullshit.”

Ambrose shrugged. “Fair enough.”

Ambrose leaned off the sink and handed Kit the knife. “Kit, I want you to take the knife and roll up your sleeves and cut your wrists.”

Kit felt the blood drain from his face.

“What?” Kit whispered as his hand reached for the knife against his will. “Wait! Ambrose, you can’t want to kill me I thought—”

“Oh hush, Kit. Don’t be dramatic. Make the cuts horizontal. Not deep enough to bleed out, or need stitches, but enough to leave scars.”

Kit was rolling up his sleeves as Ambrose spoke. “Ambrose, wait please. Please! Wait! Stop! Why can’t you do this to me? You cut me! Make them believable? Please?! Ambrose please, I – I don’t want to do this.”

Ambrose crouched so he was eye level with Kit, looking into Kit’s too bright eyes that were already tearing up at the mere thought of Ambrose’s command.

“What makes you think I care about what you want, Kit?”

Kit let out a sharp hiss as the blade sliced through his skin. Kit didn’t look down. He didn’t want to see what his body was doing to itself. Instead, he stared at Ambrose as he cut and Ambrose stared at Kit, never dropping eye contact for a second. Black eyes drinking in every twinge of pain flashing across Kit’s face, savouring every morsel of emotion that bled through his features.

Kit was doing a good job of keeping his face impassive. Until the third cut. Kit sucked in a sharp breath as he banged his leg against the wall of the bath, wrenching his head up to stare at the ceiling and breathing slowly out through his mouth with a pained hum.

“Alright there, Kit?”

“Never bett— AGH! Fuck!”

This time Kit looked, and he wished he didn’t. Sticky blood surrounded his wrist, thick and dark and gloopy. Kit couldn’t even tell where the cuts were because the blood from the last cut had washed over them all, leaving streams of blood racing down Kit’s palm. Splashing down onto the snow-white acrylic bottom of the tub.

Kit was going to be sick, but there was no time as his arm mechanically moved back to slice again. Kit looked up pleadingly into Ambrose’s black eyes, looking for any sign of sympathy or empathy, finding nothing except his own pathetic reflection staring back at him. Kit bit his lip to stop crying out on the last cut before Ambrose moved.

“Okay, Kit. That arm has enough. Mo—”

“Wait,” Kit croaked, licking his lips. “Waitwaitwaitwait, wait…”

Ambrose paused, tilting his head, eyebrows arching at interruption. He didn’t punish Kit though or chastise him, so Kit took that as an opportunity to continue.

“The… the blood— my knife will slip. I need to—”

“Okay Kit,” Ambrose said softly. “We can wait while you fix yourself.”

“Thank you,” Kit breathed, dropping the knife onto the tub floor with a clatter. Kit’s hands were shaking violently as he wiped the blood on his tracksuit bottoms, biting his lip to quiet the pained whimpers.

Ambrose clicked his tongue and said, “Kit stop. You’ll ruin them. Use the water.”

Kit blinked up owlishly at Ambrose, eyes glazed over as if the thought of using the bath hadn’t occurred to him. Kit nodded dumbly and reached over to the end of the bath, turning on the cold tap. The water was freezing. Before Kit could talk himself out of it, he gritted his teeth and plunged his arm under the spray.

Kit let out a startled gasp of pain, making his other hand a fist and beating it off the side of the bath because the cuts stung under the icy water. Kit bit his lip and rubbed the sticky coagulated strings of blood from his arm and hand. He did his best to not watch them slither like snakes down the drain and instead focused on turning the tap off.

Kit looked down at his arm to see fresh bright red blood surface in his cuts. None of them too deep. Exactly what Ambrose wanted. Exactly what Ambrose commanded of him, and he obeyed like a good little puppet.

Kit pushed himself back to the middle of the bath trying to push that though from his mind. His damp tracksuit clinging awkwardly to some places as he scooted across. Kit found Ambrose’s eyes with his own as he wiped the fresh streams of blood on his tracksuit, half to dry his hands, half to fuck with Ambrose just because.

Kit grabbed the knife and got comfortable, balancing his knees against the inside of the bath, feet planted on the bottom of the tub. He cocked a brow at Ambrose, as if to say I’m waiting, and Ambrose had to laugh inwardly at the gall.

Ambrose’s lips quipped up at the simple defiance. “Okay, Kit. Now cut your other arm.”

Ambrose relished Kit’s shaking hand as he drew the knife over his skin. He wanted to record all of Kit’s micro reactions in his brain just so he can think back on this moment whenever he was feeling down. It was intoxicating.

To watch Kit’s hand tremor, his body fight against Ambrose’s power and not be able to do a single thing to stop him. He could feel Kit’s mental resistance trying to fight Ambrose’s compulsion off him as he made the second cut. Ambrose drank in his expressions, every muted wince that he tried so hard not to show Ambrose.

It was pure turmoil he put Kit in, and it was addicting. He could watch it all day, and never get bored but that was just with Kit. Most of his other victims had a weak constitution and gave in a few days into Ambrose’s mental assault, in hopes that Ambrose would get bored and let them go. Some of them stopped fighting him out of sheer weakness, but not Kit. Never Kit. How long had it been now? Weeks? Months? And Kit was still fighting him.

Even if it wasn’t fighting Ambrose’s powers mentally, it was his little looks of defiance, his unwillingness to concede even if it would make life easier on him. No… Kit was a fighter and Ambrose couldn’t get enough of it. Finally, someone to match him, to challenge him. To say no and make everything difficult just because. It was obviously an illusion, but to Kit it seemed to be some semblance of control that he could pretend to have.

His favourite part was coming up now… ah yes. After the third cut, Kit bit his lip to stop the sudden cry. A deeper cut. He brought his head up and stared Ambrose directly in the eyes, that defiance still evident through his pain filled, glassy eyes on the verge of tears. Even when he wanted Ambrose to show mercy, he refused to ask.

It felt like Christmas and Kit was a gift for Ambrose to toy with, to batter and break and fix and break again, but a toy doesn’t give you that same satisfaction. The euphoria of seeing Kit’s white knuckled grip tight around the handle of the knife as he sliced through his flesh against his will and tried to hide the pain in his expression. Or more aptly, trying and failing to hide it, made it all the sweeter.

Ambrose leaned forward. “Two more, Kit. One deep, one shallow.”

“Nn— no,” Kit whispered, his hand shaking harder now. “No…”

“Remember little Kit, what you are. You’re my little puppet. My plaything, you don’t get to say no to me. Now, deep enough to hurt but not deep enough for hospital.”

“Fuck you,” Kit whispered venomously as he sliced through his arm, deeper this time. Kit cried out loud this time, craning his neck back to glare at the ceiling and Ambrose leaned closer. Observing the strain in Kit’s neck, the veins popping out of his throat. His jaw that was clenched tight enough to grind his teeth. His voice that came out like a pathetic animal’s cry.

“FUCK! Ughh!” Kit groaned, stamping his foot against the wall of the bath again, trying to exert the pain in his arm and transfer it to the bath.

“Look at it, Kit,” Ambrose said, and Kit shook his head.

“Go fuck yourself, Ambrose.”

“Kit. I said, look at the mess you’ve made.”

Kit fought the command like he always did but eventually his head turned down against his will and his eyes fixed on the massacre of blood on his arm again. Ambrose watched as Kit visibly paled at the sight with a soft smile. Kit made another cut while he looked at his arm and then Ambrose plucked the knife from his hand. Kit glared up at him. Ambrose just grinned.

“Clean your arms with the water, then change out of those clothes and put them for the wash. I’ll get the blood out of them, Kit. Don’t worry.”

“You’re so gracious,” Kit spat. Ambrose looked over his shoulder at Kit.

“Kit, slap your cuts for me.”

Kit barely registered the command, but the sharp sting had him letting out a diminished howl through gritted teeth.

“You fucker!” Kit screamed after Ambrose, but Ambrose had already walked out of the bathroom laughing at the good of it. “I hate you!”

“I know, Kit.”

*~*~*~*~*

Continued here

The Orphanage (plz lemme know if you want to be added or removed <;3) - @nameless-beanie @andithewhumper @annablogsposts @whumpasaurus101 @0eggdealer @rejectedbytheempty @sleepy-pearl @n3rv0usn0v4 @whumpatize-me-captain @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @sunshiline-writes @burningkittypoet @honeyed-euphrates @sacredwrath @theonewithallthefixations @acer-gaysimpstuff @m3rakii @xxgalgurlxx @princess-bubble-blossom

[romiantic]

SIT STILL

SIT STILL, gojo wants to go for a new look and he asks you to help him out

→ READING: gn!reader

→ GENRE + WARNINGS: fluff + college!au, gojo is a flirty lil shit, bisexual gojo (?), piercings, language, gojo crushing on geto (not confirmed)

→ WORD COUNT: 1.7k

→ A/N: this was supposed to be a drabble, I don’t know how it got to more than 1K 🧍🏽‍♀��

“Just one.”

“No.”

“Pleaseeee y/n? Pretty please with cherry on top and strawberry sauce?”

For the past few weeks, your white-haired best friend has been contemplating on getting his ears pierced. The majority of his life, he didn’t give piercings much of a thought, the only thing on his mind was his powers and his strength. But as years went on, and hitting his teenage years, he became fond of staring at piercings, especially his best friend Suguru Geto and yours.

As years go by, yours and geto’s piercing collection became more prominent. Geto’s recent lip piercing and your recent snake bite piercing has Gojo questioning his own looks. Now it’s not out of a place of insecurity, but more out of a “I wanna look this cool like my friends”. which leads to the past few weeks of him asking many many questions about piercings and which ones he should get.

Which also led to him buying a self piercing kit? Listen, he thinks he’s mister “I got it, I can handle it” and he really really really wants to look like a cool kid. In actuality, he just wants to look like Geto but that’s neither here nor there.

Now it’s two am and this lofty, pleading man is on your lap, intruding on your space and begging you to help pierce his ears. He would ask Geto to help but he’s currently busy with Shoko painting his nails. It was a self care night with the group and they decided to have it in your dorm room, though it may not have been the best idea considering how Gojo can be….a few cups of liquor and he isn’t leaving your dorm until three business days later, maybe.

“Y/N if you help, I won’t ask you any more questions and bother you anymore. See, simple as that.” If it was Geto, you would have believed him but considering who Satoru Gojo is, child-like, loving, annoying, and lively, that statement would be a lie and a half.

“Gojo, I'm ignoring you.” You try to pry him off your lap but his body would not budge, he sat in front of you with eyes that pleaded for dear life and a pout that only a toddler can make. He holds out the piercing kit but you ignore him by scrolling through your phone.

The man child in front of you huffs and starts sighing as you pay him no mind. He fakes his exit off your lap, pretending to slowly get up but also paying attention to how you’re reacting, nothing but an eye roll. A failed mission Gojo thinks and sinks back down to your lap, you were startled by the amount of body weight that was placed on you.

“ ‘toru get off of me, you’re heavy.” You give another attempt to remove him from your lap and yet another failure. He pouts and crosses his arm, puffing out air like a child who just got denied his favorite ice cream for dinner.

“Not until you help me.”

“If i do, will you sit somewhere else and not on my lap? That you are currently crushing.”

He rolls his eyes at your comment, “Geez y/n, I’m not that heavy.”

“Yeah and I’m not the smartest ever.”

“Well-”

You quipped your brow and interrupted any slick comment that he could say, “Don’t start, your IQ is lower than your gpa and that’s saying something. Just give me the stupid gun and the earrings.” You snatched the items out of his hands and was met with a hug from Gojo, the hug felt heavy from his body lunging onto yours but also comforting. Gojo squeezes the side of your body as he hugs tighter, almost like he doesn’t want the hug to end. You wouldn’t mind the hug if A, the hug didn’t feel like air just got sucked out of you and B, you didn’t have his ears to pierce.

“Okay Gojo, you can let go now.” Arms still linked around your torso and chest laid on yours. “Gojo?” No response but you feel the tip of his nose tickle your neck. “Gojo, I’m counting to three and if you’re still on me by three, kiss that damn piercing goodbye. Now one-”

He releases from the compacted space between you and him. He fixes himself and apologizes quickly for the hug, “Sorry sorry, you just smell nice, like really nice.” He feels cheeks warming and red hues painting his fair skin, he feels the sense of awkward airing in the living room. He drags his hands through his cheeks, to hide the blush, and turns his head only slightly.

You clear your throat, “Umm thanks, it’s a new scent I picked up recently. Nothing too special.” You as well feel the awkwardness between the two of you, until you see a sly smile curling on gojo’s face.

“You know what is special? me and-”

“You are one hundred times cuter when you keep your mouth closed, let’s keep it that way.” Now the awkwardness is gone and is filled with laughter from gojo and annoyance from you. You roll your eyes at his terrible attempt at flirting, which never ever goes right. He does have his cute moments, sometimes.

“Awww y/n you think I’m cute? You know, you’re not so bad yourself.”

“Please just shut up and move closer so I can dot your ears.” He responds with a child-like smile and shifts his body to have his ears face you. He starts to ramble on how cool he’ll think he looks with his new piercing, how he’ll get him, you, and Geto to have matching piercings, the future piercings he is already planning on, blasé blasé. Don’t mind him though, he’s talking from a place of nervousness and not trying to pay too much attention as you prepare his ears.

You notice as he continues to talk about piercings, he brings comparison of different ones he wants and uses Geto’s piercing as a visual. You don’t pay too much mind to it since Gojo does talk about Geto a lot but during this time of Gojo’s rambles, you notice that certain aspects of his facial features are more enlightened than others as he mentions either you or his best friend.

As he talks about yours and Geto’s piercing, his face is tinted a very light pink and his eyes show a sign of admiration. His eyes are lightened from their typical sky blue to a brighter hue, one that could display fragments of sparkles that you can find on the ocean as the sun hits.

You interrupts Gojo’s rambling, “Gojo you’re not doing this cause of Geto are you?”

The tint of pink becomes darker and the once confident gojo is now stuttering, “N-no, what makes you say that?” He tries to fix himself to look more nonchalant but his facial expression says otherwise.

“Well you’ve mentioned him…a lot, for the past like twelve minutes. I’m just trying to make sure you’re doing this cause you wanna do this, not cause of someone else.”

Instantly his flirting skills return, to cover up his own personal embarrassment, and he becomes flirtatious as ever, “Are you jealous that I’m mentioning Geto? I can talk about you too pretty.”

Another eye roll from you is given as a response, “And this is where I permanently stop talking to you.”

He smirks and snakes his arm around you, pulling your body closer. “You want me y/n, it’s okay, you can admit. I mean look at me, who doesn’t want me?”

You mumble to yourself, “Certainly not Geto,” You roll your eyes again and shift away from where Gojo pulled you to, “now hold still, don’t move, don’t even flinch okay?”

“If I get hurt from it, will you kiss it?”

“Or how about you listen and just don’t move?” Gojo rolls his eyes and sits patiently as you position the piercing gun on his ear. You can feel his body shaking a little as you go, you try to help by practicing this breathing technique with him. One breath in, one breath out and then two breaths in, two breaths out. You ask if he’s okay and he responds with a gleaming smile and a thumbs up.

You count to three and click the gun through his right ear. Gojo winces but isn’t dramatic about the pain, which is a shocker. You were going to make a joke but you knew he would turn it right into flirting, thus letting the joke sit well in your brain instead.

You move over to his left ear, counting down again, and clicking the gun through his ear. He winces again, the same result as his right ear. You back away to make sure that the earrings are on equal distance but instead entranced by Gojo’s attraction. Who knew something as simple as earrings can make a man attractive? Captivating? Cute? A man like Gojo is already attractive enough with his ever so impeccable features and his pretty boy smile, but earrings on him made him look more smug? One way to put it.

You catch yourself staring at Gojo as he checks himself out on your phone’s camera. As annoying as he can be, there’s no denying his heightened attraction with these new piercings on him, something just something about it makes you wanna continue to watch him as he poses. Until he says something that’ll have you regret talking to this man yet again.

You snatch your phone out of his hand and scroll through the many photos he took. You pretend to be annoyed but your cheeks poke just a little as you look through, though you wouldn’t dare fill this man’s ego by reacting ever so cutely. Yet, your smile grows but is gone as soon as Gojo speaks.

“You think I look like your cool ass boyfriend now or what?”

“You look like a loser, somebody needs to steal your lunch money.”

“What kind of loser still carries cash?”

That alone starts the arguments of how cash is better than cards and Gojo flaunting his new piercings to Geto. The night ends peacefully, with Gojo’s new look stuck to your mind, alluring and memorable. You try not to pay too much attention but his new look has you stealing glances and hiding your face away. Shoko notices but says nothing and lets the night pass by between the four of you.

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @stqrriichiigo @jackibrown @mypimpademia — if you would like to be added to the taglist, fill out the form on my masterlist or let me know in my inbox !

⭑ tried to show some bisexual representation to my people, especially bisexual boys 🫶🏽. if you're a bit confused, gojo has a crush on geto and y/n as well. his crush on geto is deeper than his crush on y/n tho

⭑ college!au are so much fun to write and I wanna write moreeeeee

⭑ never writing a whole ass fic on a school night, AGAIN 💀

JUJUTSU KAISEN MASTERLIST + MAIN MASTERLIST

© 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟥 𝗋𝗈𝗆𝗂𝖺𝗇𝗍𝗂𝖼. 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗏𝖾𝖽

[misc-obeyme]

Would you do a fanfic about mc hurting them selfs ( brothers +dateables)

* accidentally* I should have made this clear (sorry I didn’t)

DRINK WATER AND EAT SOME FOOD …please

No worries at all! I just felt like the two options were drastically different, so I wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing.

Okay, so MC accidentally hurts themselves. It's a bit long but I didn't want to make two posts, so this is the brothers and the dateables all together. Thank you for the request!

GN!MC

Warnings: MC gets hurt, mentions of blood, sprains, and other such injuries. Mentions of the events of lesson 16 in Belphie's part.

Lucifer

Immediately locates the first aid kit. Acts completely calm and collected. His actual level of concern varies depending on how bad the injury is. If it’s serious, he will be secretly worrying about you, but he doesn’t want you to know.

Protective. Not only does he care very deeply about your well being, you are under his care and he takes that responsibility seriously.

However, he’s also aware that you have somehow managed to injure yourself. MC, he cares about you, but he has to insist that you be more careful. Lectures you, of course, but catches himself before it gets too long winded.

Whatever you’ve managed to do to yourself, he’s surprisingly gentle about taking care of you. For instance if you’ve cut yourself, he cleanses your wound and bandages you up with a soft touch. Even allows his fingers to linger on your skin for a moment, which gives away how worried he really is.

Mammon

You hurt yourself? How’d ya manage that, MC? Are humans normally this clumsy?

Acting like he’s not concerned, but he’s actually very worried. Clumsy or not, you’re his human and he’s going to make sure you’re okay.

Takes action. Did you sprain your ankle? He carries you to your room. Cut yourself on something? Bandages you up. He’s muttering the whole time because he’s worried about you, but he’s actually pretty good at taking care of you. Asks you about how you're doing while you're healing.

Thank him and he’ll get flustered, brushing it off like it’s no big deal. You think this is the first time he’s had to take care of someone who hurt themselves? Hello, he has five little brothers. Still you know the truth which is that it’s different with you. His blush confirms it even more.

Leviathan

Panics immediately. What! You’re hurt! What should he do? How can he help you? Please tell him you’re okay, MC!

You have to talk him down at first. Let him know that you’re okay, that it’s a minor injury. Give him some directions. Tell him what you need and he instantly scrambles to get you whatever you need. Bandages? Ice pack? The entire first aid kit?! He’s on it!

Once he’s calmed down a bit, he gets serious about helping you. Gets blushy about touching you while applying bandages and the like, but powers through it because he’s worried about you.

Checks in with you to make sure everything is healing okay. Tries to be subtle about watching you carefully to make sure you don't have another accident, but you are absolutely onto him. It's pretty adorable, so you don't mind.

Satan

Another competent one who stays calm. Has plenty of knowledge about the best ways to treat various injuries. And if he’s not sure, you can bet he has a book all about it.

Depending on how bad your injury is, he will either get really focused on taking care of you or he’ll tease you a little bit. Honestly, MC, how did you manage to do this to yourself? Good thing he’s here to make sure you’re okay.

He’s definitely worried about you, but it’s hard to tell because of his confidence. However, he doesn't want you to think he doesn't care and he will tell you directly that he wants you to be more careful. Scolds you gently before taking the opportunity to flirt with you, though subtly.

Keeps track of how you're doing. Makes sure you're healing well and correctly, depending on the type of injury. If you've done something like sprained your ankle and you can't really go anywhere or do anything, he will stay beside you and read aloud to you.

Asmodeus

Panics at first. His darling MC is hurt? Thinking about it makes him want to cry. He’s completely transparent and honest about how worried he is about you.

Isn’t paralyzed by his concern, though. Depending on how bad your injury is, he either takes care of it himself or he gets Lucifer. If it's more serious, he will stick by your side, staying close and being overly attentive.

A minor injury he can handle. Makes sure you’re comfortable while he administers first aid. Gets cheeky and kisses it better for you. Probably kisses it a couple of times before kissing your cheeks next. He just wants to make you feel better!

Pampers you of course. As long as you’re injured, he’ll do extra things for you until you’re healed. If you have to wear some kind of medical device, you can be sure he will make it adorable somehow. Whether its cutesy band aids or bedazzling a set of crutches, he's going to make sure you look fabulous, injured or not.

Beelzebub

Due to the fact that Beel has injured himself multiple times while playing sports, he knows exactly what to do. He’s not freaking out, but there is no doubt he’s concerned about you. You can tell by the serious look on his face.

He’s so careful with you. If you can’t walk, he carries you, cradling you close to himself. If you’re bleeding, he cleans your wound, gently wiping away the blood and bandaging you up.

Tells you that you need to be more careful. You’re a fragile human, after all. He might get clingy for a bit, watching over you to make sure you don’t hurt yourself again. Gets protective and chases away anyone who seems like they're going to bother you.

Until you’re healed, he makes sure you have plenty to eat. You can’t heal if you’re not eating right, MC. Makes sure you’re getting plenty of food and staying hydrated.

Belphegor

Sighs in exasperation to hide how worried he is about you. Due to his particular history with you, he’s especially concerned about you hurting yourself. Even if you’ve forgiven him, he hasn’t forgotten that he was the one who hurt you in the past.

He will enlist other brothers to help him take care of you. Major injury? He’s going to Lucifer. Can’t walk? Let Beel carry you. Just a small cut? Sends someone to get the first aid kit then applies the band aid himself.

Wants to tell you to be more careful, but doesn’t feel like he can. Instead he tells you that you should rest while you’re healing. Make sure you get enough sleep, MC.

If you catch on to how he’s feeling guilty, let him know that you trust him. Ask him to help you while you’re healing. Seek him out while you’re taking it easy, napping with him or just resting next to him. It will mean a lot to him.

Diavolo

Makes a fuss no matter what kind of injury you have. He is not okay with a human exchange student getting hurt in any way. Even if you try to explain that it was just an accident and it was your own fault, he won’t listen. Don’t worry, MC! He will make sure you are okay!

Realizes he has no idea what to do. Has to ask Barbatos for help. With his butler’s instructions, he takes care of you himself. Applies ice packs or bandages as needed.

Depending on the severity of your injury, he may insist you stay at the castle while you’re healing so he can keep an eye on you. Sprained ankle? You can be sure he’s going to keep you close. Paper cut? Okay, he’ll let you go back to the House of Lamentation. But know that he will be following up on your progress.

You might think his concern is based on his sense of responsibility for you. However, you soon realize that’s just an excuse for him to fuss over you. He’s genuinely worried because he cares about you and he will tell you as much in a quiet moment.

Barbatos

You won’t be able to tell, but he’s deeply concerned about you. Doesn’t let it show and takes care of everything you need no matter what kind of injury you have. He can do basic first aid, but he can also do more advanced things if needed. He stays calm and his touch is gentle. You can count on him, MC.

While he’s taking care of you, he asks you to be more careful. He says it so kindly you almost can’t tell that he’s scolding you. This is how you know he’s worried even if he doesn’t show it.

Will use his portal ability to check in on you while you’re healing. Makes you tea that has special healing properties. Brings you your favorite dessert to go with it. Makes sure that you have everything you need.

When you’re fully healed, he will confess that he was worried about you. Tell him that you knew despite his calm reaction and he’ll be grateful that you understand him so well. He hopes you know just how important you are to him.

Simeon

He remains calm, but you can see the concern on his face. He doesn't mind letting you know how he's feeling, but he also wants to be there for you. He will reassure you that everything is going to be okay.

Easily takes care of whatever you need. Has no problem bandaging you up or taking care of any other such injuries. He knows exactly what to do and he's very efficient at it. Please don't worry, MC.

Insists that you let him cook for you. You need plenty of nutrients now to heal properly. He'll mother you quite a bit - cooking for you, making sure you get enough sleep, checking in on you constantly. He'll even tell the brothers to leave you alone so you can get better quickly.

All of this indicates to you how much he cares about you. If you ask him to simply stay with you, he will stop everything to be by your side. Will hold your hand and chat with you. He'll tell you to be more careful, though he says it with a smile.

Solomon

If you're seriously injured, he will drop everything to make sure you're okay. He's ready to cast any number of healing spells on you. Let him take care of it, MC.

He'll be really serious at first, asking you how you managed to hurt yourself like this. Especially if it happened while you were doing magic, he will launch into a bit of a lecture on magical safety. Tell him he sounds like Lucifer and he'll start teasing you instead.

Once he's satisfied that you're going to be okay, he loses his serious demeanor and jokes with you to lighten your mood. You can still tell that he's concerned, especially when he keeps an eye on how you're healing for a while. Might even insist that you stay at Purgatory Hall during this time.

Ask him to teach you all the healing spells he knows. He'll do it, but he's onto you. Don't think that knowing healing spells means you don't have to be careful! Seriously, MC, just promise him you'll stay safe.

Luke

Freaks right out. Especially if you're bleeding. Even though a sprained ankle is a more serious injury than say a small cut, the blood makes him anxious. Hold on, MC! He has band aids! Wait right there!

Brings you a box of brightly colored band aids. Also brings Simeon. He wants to make sure you're going to be okay. Puts the band aids on for you, but has Simeon double check that there's nothing else wrong with you.

If you have a serious injury, he'll be so worried he won't leave your side. You'll be fully aware of how concerned he is. Stays beside you even if he's too tired to stay awake and falls asleep sitting up.

Might leave you just long enough to grab some cookies he baked earlier. He wants to cheer you up with some treats. Will check in with you periodically for some time after you've already healed.

masterlist | Thank you for reading!