#I really test the limits of that by just. Being as annoying as possible and praying that people don’t secretly get tired.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

I just realized that you are my oldest mutual, interesting huh?

ANYWAY!

Do you think Nightmare has more psychological control over Killer than any other form? I think Killer can fight back (no thought if he would win or not) but the mental power that Nightmare has over him immobilizes him.

Maybe that's why Nightmare chose Killer: he had already been subjected to so much, controlled by someone as cruel and sadistic as Nightmare. It was too tempting to just ignore such a perfect pawn.

Yay I get to be the oldest mutual ✨ 🎉

And yes absolutely. I do think physical abuse is still very much a staple in their relationship (nightmare has canonically choked killer unconscious before and left him limp on the floor), but I do believe a lot of it was massively during the first few weeks of Killer’s captivity. Before he was ever sent out in the field—because Nightmare needed to get through Stage 3, to beat Killer into submission. Like..horrifically breaking in a horse.

However, I don’t think physical abuse really works much as a punishment or deterrent for Stage 2—he’s shown to be very much able to just uh..dissociate from any emotions attached to the memories of Stages 1 and 3. And he himself is very desensitized to violence, and enjoys pain, doesn’t seem to have any limits on what he enjoys.

So unless Nightmare can find a way to remove Stage 2’s framing of pain as “fun” and “enjoyable,” then he’s not going to get anywhere using that as a punishment.

It’ll be a mix of everything of course, and Killer is still being physically abused when in Stage 2 and threatened, but that’s only when Nightmare is annoyed and lashing out—trying to put Killer back in his place or to make him shut up, like a little stress doll he can use. It won’t work as an effective punishment when he’s like that.

It will, however, work on Stage 1. I’d imagine that any time Killer has another situation like in the Stage 4 comics—being triggered into Stage 1 and compromising Nightmare’s goals—then he will be brutally punished in any way that’s possible.

It’d depend on Nightmare’s preferred methods, but I still doubt he’d be anywhere near gentle even if the physical abuse isn’t the “worse” part of the punishment.

Stage 3, I feel, would physically fight for the longest—and anytime Killer’s overpowered or forced back into another Stage, he’d take to trying to run and hide away instead the next time he’s in stage 3.

I’d imagine that Nightmare doesn’t allow Killer to remain in Stage 3 around him for very long—and the more Killer starts falling back into submission or is beaten into it, flop response to wait until it’s over as soon as he’s triggered back into a lower Stage, the less Nightmare seems to have to “deal with” Stage 3–as Killer starts falling back into learned helplessness.

I’d imagine Nightmare has been bitten by Stage 3 many times before lmao.

And I’d imagine that Killer likely doesn’t know if those moments are real or not, and perhaps Nightmare thinks he doesn’t remember them very clearly until Stage 3 starts cropping back up, so it’s very easy to convince him he has no power or choice.

Leave a door open to his cage and he won’t leave because what if it’s a trap, what if it’s a test. What if something worse is out there. What if he’s caught. Stage 2 won’t even spare the door a second glance, but he would in Stage 1 —and he’d be held back by how helpless and trapped he feels to risk it.

[aeolianblues]

ever so slightly worried I’ll be insufferable next week, I’m going to Cardiff and I’ll try not to be the Leo pointing meme everywhere

I was already so bad in London, I’d point out show promo ads on the tube to my cousin and start telling her all about bands I think she could live without hearing about, and we’d look at a poster advertising a show at another venue and I’d tell her about some historic show that happened there in like 1977 and then we’d see some big tour announcement on the side of a wall and I’d be all like do you want an unsolicited ten-minute long history of this artist’s successes in the charts

I’m terrible about it, I have to try not to wear down my best friend next week, who is doing Cardiff with me very graciously, knowing what fresh hell that might entail for her

[happy74827]

Shadow Knight

[Joe Goldberg x Female!Reader]

Synopsis: One thing to know about Joe, is that he’d do anything to protect you. Regardless if you want him to or not.

WC: 2776

Category: Hurt/Comfort [TW — Joe]

Finally wrote a Joe Goldberg fic. My friend begged me to write him so I did (you’re welcome @summerrivera777777). I really don’t know what else to say… so enjoy!

『••✎••』

You were his. That’s all Joe cared about in his head. He thought of you and only you.

He remembered that night after your first kiss. You had told him that you loved him. It was a warm summer night. It had been dark, but the stars were shining so brightly that the moonlight shone through the window. You had made him feel things.

It was such a new feeling.

It was scary but exhilarating. This wasn’t like Beck or Love. It was different. It was amazing.

He wanted you, and he was willing to do anything to keep you.

When he found out about your annoying pest of a neighbor, he had been a bit put off at first. How dare he come in and try to woo you from under his nose? He couldn't help but laugh at the thought of the short, small, wiry guy being able to compete with his stature. Joe clearly outranked him, and he wanted to make it known.

It started off as a little harmless fun, a way for him to see what this guy was capable of. A way for him to test your limits and then go even further.

Joe knew how to push the right buttons. And it wasn't long before he had him right where he wanted him.

Now, he would be able to protect you. You didn't have to worry about that scrawny little bastard hurting you anymore. Joe would take care of you. He was so good to you and would continue to be so. He was yours.

He would keep you safe from all the dangers that lurked in the world. He had found himself wanting to help you in that way, protect you, provide for you. He could feel it. He wanted you to depend on him, and he was eager for that moment to come.

For now, all he wanted to do was watch. He wanted to watch this short little guy attempt to steal his girl from under his nose. He wanted to watch the pathetic creature get on his knees and beg. He wanted to see you tell him to fuck off and then run back into his arms. He wanted to watch you beg him to take care of you.

“Oh, Joe,” you had whimpered against his lips. He held you closer, keeping you safe and close. Your arms snaked around his neck, holding him tight to you. Your legs wrapped around his hips, allowing him to hold you up.

He felt so big and strong against you. He always felt so strong and reliable. He always made you feel so safe and wanted. He always made you feel so loved. He always made you feel like you were the only woman on earth, and you always wanted to feel this way forever.

His mouth left yours and moved to your neck, kissing and sucking there. His hands groped your body, slipping under the thin material of your t-shirt. He continued to kiss and bite down your neck, feeling your pulse against his lips.

He was in heaven. He was living a dream. This beautiful, smart, funny woman was all his, and he could feel himself becoming overwhelmed with emotions.

He pulled back to look at your face. You had a serene expression, one that Joe often saw when he made you come undone. You were perfect. You were everything to him.

His hands cupped your cheeks, and he kissed you softly. You kissed him back, opening your mouth for him to taste you.

Joe loved this. He loved every minute of it. It wasn't just about sex for him anymore. It was about sharing his love with you. He had given you the most sacred part of himself, and you had given it right back.

He was so happy he thought he could burst.

Your front door suddenly flew open, and Joe dropped you on your couch as quickly as possible, making sure to fix his shirt in the process. He moved in front of you protectively and glared at the small figure standing in the doorway.

He glared down at the man. His lips were pressed in a tight line, and his jaw was clenched. He was so pissed, but he wasn't going to allow that bastard to see it.

“Jared? You do realize I didn’t give you those keys just to open my door whenever you want, right?” Your voice was stern and angry, causing Joe to smirk. He was so proud of you, of your ability to stand up for yourself. You tell him off.

Joe watched as Jared ran his fingers through his messy hair, looking nervous and flustered. He looked at you and then at Joe before glancing back at you. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth, but he closed it quickly.

He tried again but only ended up stuttering and not saying a word. His eyes were darting back and forth between Joe and you as if he were looking for a way to escape.

Joe watched as he looked like a fish out of water. He had never seen this guy speechless before, so he was enjoying every minute of this.

You seemed to have finally had enough, as well. You threw your hands up and sighed loudly, rolling your eyes at Jared's awkwardness.

"Is there something you need, Jared? I’m really busy at the moment." Your words were sharp and short. Again, Joe smiled at how badass you were. It was hard to believe that a month ago, you were this nervous little thing. You couldn’t even say the word 'no,' and now, here you were, telling off this guy twice your size. You were just a ball of fire.

“I, uhm... I just... I wanted to see if you were okay after what happened earlier today. I was worried, I guess." Jared said. His voice was quiet and sounded so small. He sounded nervous and fidgety. Joe almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

He might’ve even felt sorry if he didn’t catch what he had said.

What happened… earlier?

Joe gave you a look, hoping you'd fill him in. You were his girlfriend, the person he cared about more than anything in this world, but you were keeping secrets? What was happening here?

You seemed to understand what he wanted and looked over at Jared before glancing back at him. Joe tilted his head slightly, silently asking you to tell him what was happening. You took a deep breath and looked at him with your big brown eyes before turning to look at Jared.

"I'm okay, Jared, thank you. But I am really busy, and I have a lot on my plate at the moment, so I can't really talk. Maybe later?" You smiled sweetly at him. "I'll give you a call?"

He seemed to relax a little at your words, smiling at you. He took a deep breath and nodded his head. He turned to face Joe for a moment, just staring at him for a beat before turning back to you.

He sighed and seemed to deflate like a balloon losing air. "Okay, yeah. Just let me know if you need anything. I'll call you later, then. Have a good night." Jared gave you a quick wave before walking out the door and closing it behind him.

As soon as he was gone, Joe turned to look at you, waiting for an explanation.

"What happened today?" He couldn’t help but think of the worst, worrying that maybe you had met someone else. That Jared had hurt you or something.

Your eyes went wide, and you shook your head vigorously as if reading his mind. "Oh, no. Nothing like that. It was... uhm..." You took a deep breath, seeming to collect your thoughts. "It was just me."

You let out a nervous laugh, but Joe was still staring at you intently. "Okay, well, it was this thing." You hesitated for a moment, staring at him, and he nodded his head, encouraging you to continue. You took a deep breath and started explaining.

You went on to tell him about the charity event that you had attended. You told him how there was a guy that had been hitting on you. He sounded like a total creep to Joe, and he couldn't understand how you would let some rando put his hands on you. You had a boyfriend, for Christ's sake! How dare he?! Joe didn't know how he would've survived if he had seen you with another man. He would've beaten the shit out of that guy, but he would've also beat himself up for not being able to protect you from that.

He was your boyfriend. He was supposed to keep you safe and protected. It was his duty. He was going to protect you. He wanted to protect you.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Joe asked, keeping his voice low and even. He was trying to be calm about this, but he was quite the opposite. He wanted to go and hunt this guy down and find out exactly what happened, where he touched you, what he said. He needed to know where this guy was, and he needed to make sure he wouldn’t be a problem for you. He would handle it. No one would touch his girl. He would keep you safe. He would kill for you if that's what it took. He would do anything for you.

You sighed and dropped your gaze from his, staring at your feet. You had the nerve to be embarrassed about it. That made him even angrier.

"I don't want to make a big deal out of it. It was just a dumb charity thing; I'm sure it's happened to lots of people." You didn't even sound convincing to yourself, and the sight of your hunched-over figure was enough for Joe to lose it.

He took a deep breath and sighed loudly, feeling his anger building in the pit of his stomach. He was on the verge of exploding, but you were clueless about what he was feeling. You were trying to pretend like it was no big deal, and you didn't even realize what you had just done.

You were his. His to protect. He wasn't going to allow this guy to take that from him. He wasn't going to allow this guy to touch what's his.

Joe stood up from the couch and started pacing around the living room. You watched him curiously for a moment before following his movement. You stood up from the couch, ready to stop him from walking around, but he turned around suddenly, looking at you. He glared down at you for a moment, and you stopped in your tracks.

“Did you get his name?” His voice was dark and dangerous, like a predator that was ready to kill.

You hesitated for a moment as if you were debating with yourself. He watched your face as you thought, waiting for your answer. Your brows furrowed as you thought, and your bottom lip was between your teeth. You were worried about something. He wasn't sure what it was, but he knew that he wasn't going to like it.

You sighed and glanced up at him with those big doe eyes before glancing back down to your feet. You seemed to be looking at his shoes, counting the laces as if they were the most interesting thing in the world.

"I did." You murmured.

"What is it?" His voice was a low growl.

"Joe, this doesn't-"

"What is his name?" Joe snapped, glaring down at you. He didn't mean to yell, but it was taking all his energy to hold back. You flinched at his tone, and he wanted to punch himself.

"I don't want you to get involved in this. I'm okay. I promise." You said. "I just want to forget it ever happened. Please, just let me take care of it." You sounded so defeated, and Joe wanted to reach out and hold you, but he knew he needed to hold himself back. He needed to keep himself from you for a moment. He wanted to get out of his own head before he did anything stupid.

"How?" His voice was cold, colder than he meant to let on.

"What?" You looked up at him, and he felt like he was looking into your soul. It was so beautiful and pure. You were so innocent and good, so sweet and soft. He never wanted to do anything to hurt you. He would protect you and keep you safe from all the bad things in the world. This guy included.

“How can you forget it happened?" He said, glaring at you. "What did he do? What did he say to you?" His voice was getting louder by the second, and you took a step back, flinching again. His stomach twisted as he saw your reaction, and he tried to calm himself. He took a deep breath and tried to speak calmly. "Did he touch you?"

You looked away from his face and sighed. Your gaze landed on your feet, and you seemed to be counting the laces in his shoes again.

"It doesn't matter what happened," you said.

"What did happen?" Joe asked again.

"Joe," you said, looking up at him with those pretty brown eyes, "It really doesn't matter, okay? I don't want to talk about it."

"I need to know."

You rolled your eyes at that and threw your hands up. "Why? So you can go after him and make it worse?"

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He knew he had to tell you. " You’re scared. I don’t want you to be scared anymore. I want to help you."

He wanted to take away that fear. He wanted to take care of you. He wanted to be the only person you needed to protect yourself. He didn't want you to be afraid. He wanted you to be able to feel safe and loved.

"You can't protect me all the time. Sometimes I have to be able to stand up for myself and do this stuff, Joe." You sounded defeated, but Joe shook his head.

"You shouldn't have to."

"It was just one guy." You shrugged your shoulders. "I can handle it."

"You shouldn't have to! Just… Please, just let me help you." His voice was pleading. He knew he sounded desperate and pathetic, but he needed to be the one to protect you.

You didn't say anything to that and looked back down to the floor. Joe's eyes followed you, staring at you for a moment. He noticed that you weren't moving anymore.

“Jim,” You murmured quietly, your head still bowed. It was so quiet that Joe wasn't sure he heard you right.

"What?"

"His name is Jim," you said, looking up at him with your big brown eyes. "Jim Haynes. I saw him in the building this morning when I was walking to my car. He lives in 1515."

He heard you. You told him.

You gave him what he wanted, and he couldn't help but smile. It was a wide smile, one that you saw often on Joe.

He grabbed your waist and pulled you in close to him. You squeaked as you were being moved across the room, and you held your breath as you realized where he was heading. You knew what was going to happen, and you couldn't help the rush of excitement and heat that filled you.

You watched his face as you moved, seeing his big brown eyes glued to yours. Your mouth went dry as you stared back into his dark eyes. You felt your pulse race as his gaze felt like a touch.

“Thank you for trusting me.” He whispered, his breath tickling your face. He was truly so happy to finally be given this information. It felt good knowing that he could help you. He could keep you safe from harm.

He pressed his lips against yours. The kiss was slow and soft. You could feel the emotions on his lips, feel how much he cared. You could feel how much he wanted you. He pressed his body against yours, wanting to feel you pressed against him.

Tonight, he would protect you. Tomorrow, he will make sure you stay protected. But right now, he was going to take care of you. He was going to be there for you.

He was going to take care of you, and then, he was going to take care of Jim Haynes.

[slickricklj]

The Return of Jill Valentine: My thoughts on the perception of Jill’s character, and her relationship with Chris Redfield

I saw the film weeks ago, and have been sitting with some thoughts since then. Now that the film is out in most places, I’m going to dive right in. The film wasn't the best, but there are still some things worth talking about. The handling of Jill's character development and personality, and her relationship with Chris are things I've seen discussed, and I definitely have some thoughts on both. There were many things that could have been done better, but there is also much I quite enjoyed about the film, and actually expected to see, because it’s just the nature of the franchise for certain things to happen.

That said, MASSIVE deep dive below.

As usual with fandom, reactions have been mixed. I myself, went in with lowered expectations as, RE tends to drop the ball on so much, and be very predictable. While I have several issues with the film (like pacing, and choices that seem to have been made for the sake of time constraints, or characters not being aware of certain things they usually would be), I can’t lie, the film had some things that I found mildly or very entertaining, and while it failed to deliver the proper return and real FOCUS Jill should have had IMO (and a not lazy design), it was nice to FINALLY see Jill interact with other major characters, and to see everyone get a chance to shine.

That said, one thing that annoyed me were some comments claiming that Jill was being icy towards Chris, and somehow she’s been ruined, and still “Nu Jill” from RE3make, who’s not the REAL Jill. Well, simply put, that is a bunch of bull. Jill Valentine is still the same character she’s always been, and what some folks need to take into consideration is that naturally, HER experiences shape who she is, and ALSO some of the personality traits people think are new, have IN FACT, always been a part of her character. Perhaps the problem is some people never actually had a grasp of who she is, and clung to their own ideas. Even with some less than stellar performances over the years, she never changed because of a voice actress, or a writer change. The core of who Jill is, is still the same. Different situations and characters have warranted different aspects of who Jill is to come to the surface, and forced her to develop from them.

Jill’s relationship with Chris in the film, is actually one of a close and PERSONAL bond (a near 20 year connection at this point in time). Chris decided to hear the latest on what Rebecca found out from her research (this was an impromptu visit). The FIRST thing she asks him is, “Where’s Jill?” Which suggests she is used to them being together, like they come as a packaged deal.  Chris says he’s making Jill write up the report for their mission from the night before. Rebecca immediately calls him out for him doing that to punish her, and I was here for it.

Chris didn’t wanna get the 3rd degree from Rebecca, and impatiently asked her if her tests turned anything up yet. Rebecca explained it’s an improved T-virus, and all of the infected victims had needle marks.

Chris asked, “No bites?” She told him no. This virus was not spread via saliva or bite marks, and also THEIR victims, did not become infected. They simply died from their wounds. From her understanding, this virus wasn’t spreadable through the air, or saliva (bites). Chris went on to say they had to stop whoever was behind this, “Fast.”

What I found interesting was Rebecca’s reaction to his urgency and demeanor. She appeared to be thinking a bit deeper about what was really on his mind, when he said this.

She appeared to have assumed that Chris was in a hurry, because he was worried about something having happened to Jill, like possibly being bitten.

When Chris told her no, she had a faint sigh of relief. I didn’t feel she was really all that worried, because why limit it to a bite, when she just said the virus was spread via needles, was not airborne, and those bitten do not turn (which means there is no infection)?  Also, if she was concerned about that, why not have asked about that sooner?

Rebecca looking at Chris like, “Chris...I KNOW you aren’t trying to call someone else reckless!”

Rebecca asked him why he was so hung up on that. She had me in stitches, because she called out his own hypocrisy (ironically she called him and Leon out on their BS in Vendetta as well…this time she didn’t display any regret in how she handled Chris).

This was kind of interesting to me, because the vibe felt like she was commenting on a personal relationship, rather than a professional one. She empathized with Jill’s situation, and made Chris consider the fact that, after EVERYTHING Jill had been through, here she was, FINALLY able to return to the field, and Jill more than likely, blames herself for what happened to her, and everything that Wesker used her for. She’s trying to make up for it. One has to consider that Jill literally has not actually been on the field for nearly 10 years at this point (late 2006-whenever she first returned since Vendetta and the start of this film). Rebecca was also correct in what she told Chris about himself. He too can be “reckless” and risk his life.

On one hand, I don’t like that, Chris hasn’t (apparently), considered Jill may still blame herself for the actions she had no control over, especially since the very first thing she did, after being freed, was she apologized to him. She even asked his partner for that mission, Sheva, for forgiveness, after explaining that she had no control, but was still aware.

Forgiveness has actually been a theme in many of the games Jill has made appearances in. I will touch on this more, in a bit.

Even with Chris, who sometimes fails to see the bigger picture on things, it was a little off-putting (for me), that after all those years, he wouldn’t realize Jill might still feel guilt and regret, and this is despite it already being established via Rev2, Chris and Jill had some private conversations (we at least know Chris talked to her about what she missed out on and how hard Barry took her “death”) during some of the time leading her road to recovery. However, I appreciate the writer’s intention. It shows that this isn’t a professional relationship, this is about a very CLOSE and PERSONAL relationship. Chris cares deeply about Jill’s entire being, and vice versa. It’s actually sweet that Chris believes Jill didn’t need to blame herself, and he just wants her to back to her usual self. The thing is, part of the healing process, is also being able to forgive one’s self.

Chris contemplates on what Rebecca said to him, and he then finds Jill and approaches her. Jill stops what she’s doing, and Chris tells Jill that he wants her off the case, and that she needs some time off (it’s not even given as an order, but more like a plea). Jill scoffs at that, like, “You can’t be serious!”

Chris tries to clarify himself, saying that it’s GOOD she’s back, he just does not want her to push herself too hard, as she’s been through a lot. He doesn’t say this as a mere “factual” basis, but this is Chris emotionally trying to get Jill to compromise with him. He’s telling her what he wants from her (to be on the field with a clear head/to be her usual self), because he cares. There’s no talk about a partnership or anything professional, let alone him not wanting to work with her anymore. This feels more like someone talking to their significant other.

Jill responds by bringing up what happened to her, when under mind control from Wesker. Jill, first, isolated the fact that she was ordered to kill him specifically. She would then say “all of you.” Although I do not feel the writing was taking into account everything that happened to her, or that she’s said this before (moreorless), Jill tells him she was aware, but could not control her actions. It bothers her that Wesker (and all of those who aided him), took her autonomy from her, violated her entire being, and then he made her go after the person she cares the most about, on top of leading to the deaths of others.

^A reminder that the FIRST image in RE5 is of Jill, after having infected a man, who was used as a trap to kill off fellow BSAA agents. She was made to sit there and watch this man BEG for his life, with her own body refusing to help him. She has to watch him suffer as part of her torture.

In RE5, Jill was always one step ahead of Chris, and she kept tabs on him during his mission. She was actively working against him (the opposite of her nature), until Wesker decided to reveal himself, and the fact she had been around Chris—right under his nose. Wesker taunted Jill when he ordered her to kill Chris. Jill appeared to also not be allowed to speak as well. I say this, because she spoke (with attitude) when threatening Irving to “deal” with Chris and Sheva, by having him inject himself with a dominant species plaga, and a moment such as when she told Excella and Wesker Chris and Sheva had arrived. When they face each other, suddenly she’s silent (seriously if they remake this game, get rid of the hissing cat crap, and let Jill taunt Chris…making it more psychological).

I wish more people would grasp how hellish for Jill, the story in RE5 was. Her story, and involvement was the centerpiece of it all, as Jun Takeuchi said himself. Jill KNOWS Chris is looking FOR HER. She sees him demanding to know where she is, relentlessly fighting to find her, but she is not able to reveal herself. Even when Chris shot her mask off, Jill suddenly disengaged from combat, and purposefully kept her face HIDDEN, until Wesker decided to reveal himself, and took the pleasure of revealing her to Chris, knowing what was about to happen would mess with Jill psychologically.

^She reacted to losing her mask!

Nicole SLAYED this line delivery. You can HEAR Jill’s anguish in her voice.  Chris would go on to try and let her know he can understand, at least part of what she must be going through, and warns her that if you let a nightmare stick with you, it can swallow you up. This is actually part of the internal struggle the main villain, Dylan, has.

Jill received what Chris said, and understood where he was coming from. She didn’t try to argue with him, threaten him, or blow up in his face. She calmly tried to assure him that she was fine now (which is not entirely true), and that he did not need to worry so much about her. Jill may try to convince herself of that, but it’s not really the case.

It wouldn’t be the first time Jill has ever minimized how she’s really feeling to him. You had her keeping her composure long enough for Chris to go pursue Wesker in RE5, but a minor example could be seen when they raided UB’s Russia based facility. When they made their way inside, Chris said this was the place, and Jill was like, “Yeah…”

The thing is, they always try to keep one another sharp, focused, and encouraged. So, it’s a natural reoccurrence, where Chris worries about her…excessively at times. 

Again, with some people not understanding what is actually happening, I’m highlighting this to show the symbolism within this moment. Jill grabs TWO water bottles, and tosses one to Chris, assuring him that she’s “fine now,” basically to say he doesn’t need to/she doesn’t want him to worry so much about her. She’s trying to reclaim her life she had, to get back to her “old self” so to speak. This shows warmth and closeness. It’s like an invitation. Like someone saying, “Hey, come sit with me, grab a drink.” Jill’s not pushing him away, she’s INVITING him in. Chris is not leaving her side, and she doesn’t want him to. THEY BOTH KNOW THIS! Think about it. Jill had just RELOADED her gun, and was letting off some steam, but she stopped for him. She didn’t even complain about doing the paper work (assuming she actually did it).

Jill knows AHEAD of time, Chris is going to be stuck on her. She’s used to it.

^Chris giving no fucks about the poor pilot! I still LMAO at Jill’s glare at him.

^Jill already telling him to LISTEN to her, because she KNEW his ass was gonna be hung up on her.

“We can’t just leave you here!” & “Well yeah, but...” So IN character for Chris when it comes to Jill. I actually had to laugh during the film, when just like CVX AND Darkside Chronicles, Chris was willing to leave Claire by herself, but when it came to Jill he was dead set on finding her, and he didn’t want to be away from her. Heck he was about to ditch Sheva, and Piers even experienced something similar when he was going after Carla.

Jill LITERALLY had to repeat herself and put her HANDS on him to push his stubborn behind to leave her. Jill had to ask him a LITERAL question. “Don’t you trust your partner?” I’ve seen some people misinterpret this many times. Jill told Chris THEY (Chris/Sheva) had to stop Wesker, before it was too late. When he wouldn’t budge, she said he had to go on without her, as they were the only ones who could stop Wesker in time. She asked him if he trusted his partner, SHEVA! Like, after all this, don’t you trust this woman to help you by now? This is why both of them look at her! As you can see in my screens, Jill is even gesturing her hand over toward Sheva! She’s not talking about herself, which wouldn’t make any sense anyway, as they have trust. Chris needed to TRUST SHEVA to see things through. Have confidence THEY could make it, without her. Anywho...(:P)

Chris talking about someone being reckless, yet...

*Something those who played the 3ds version, will know is different right away.

When they were on their mission the night before, Chris got together with the local Swat team, and Jill went in ahead. Chris was telling her it sounded like it could be a bioweapon situation, and wanted her to cordon off the street and wait for backup. She calmly said she was already inside, and checking for survivors. He tried to get her to not rush in alone, but she got annoyed and cut him off before he could finish telling her it was an order. LOL! Jill was having none of that shit.

Her scoffing at him, for getting on her about her actions, is not because they are distant, I’d say, but rather it’s because this has been a recurring issue for them ever since she got back on the field with him. Jill’s basically trying to redeem herself, and feel more like her old self, by trying to stop the bad guys, trying to save anyone she can, regardless of the potential danger, yet more victims keep turning up dead or have to be put down. Then you have Chris feeling something is off with her, and he worries her actions will possibly get her or someone else killed. Perhaps now is the first time they’ve talked about it. Sometimes even the closest of people, have things they don’t talk about, or there could be some issues that a person feels they have to work through themself.

The writing doesn’t really give us much to go on sadly, we have to go with this idea, that there’s certain things they haven’t talked about. Jill not knowing of Piers really doesn’t make sense for many reasons, for instance, and I would hope the writer was just a little short-sighted, or simply phrased things a certain way for people unfamiliar with the games (maybe the games will address these issues in the future). When they reached her, he asked why she rushed in alone, and she said she wasn’t going to wait for backup, if there’s a chance someone is in danger (think of her leading Nemesis away from the subway station in RE3make or her attempting to save the security guard in the film). Jill’s frustration with his lack of understanding why she feels she needs to do this, is shown, when he brings up her actions again.

Chris mentioned “this guy” Piers, was someone he wanted to take his place on the field. Chris said himself, that after RE5’s events, he felt like he had accomplished all he had set out to do, and found the meaning behind what he fought for.

Thinking about the future, realizing what he was fighting for (which I’ll discuss more later in this post), and the possibility of other people like Wesker popping up, he chose to become a captain in the SOU, sometime after he and Jill returned from Africa (this path for him was something teased as an easter egg in RE5). Chris became overwhelmed by everything that happened in RE6— all of the death, regrets, and failures. He was DONE. Chris was so done, he chose the worst time to bring up Wesker to Jake, and did not care at all if Jake killed him, so long as he helped get a vaccine created.

^I included some parts of conversations between Chris/Sherry, Piers/Sherry, Jake/Chris and then Chris/Piers – to highlight how Chris was for sure retiring from the BSAA after this. How his behavior made him unpredictable and hard to rely on (which may be part of Chris’s annoyance with Jill in the film), and then Piers acknowledging that Chris did not need to recklessly put his life in danger with the way he approached Jake. He was not thinking straight.

His reckless behavior caused him to take Carla’s bait, and lead another team to their deaths, because his desire for revenge, and survivor’s guilt over the loss of his team in Edonia, blinded him to what mattered, and what was really going on.

Leon would eventually snap him out of that stupor, where Piers had been failing (part of that is because Chris was looking at Piers as his subordinate, not his equal). Leon physically stopped him from shooting ‘Ada,’ without knowing it was him at first, and he talked Chris down. 

Their scene showed Leon providing a defensive, but more calm approach to dealing with Chris and his blind rage, rather than trying to meet him with the exact same energy. Chris couldn't win this argument, or deny the facts. Leon let him know there was a wider scope to what was going on, and that he was willing to protect ‘Ada’ all costs, not because he’s a “simp” (as some want to believe, but this isn’t the case), but because she’s a key witness to what’s going on with Simmons, and all of what was going on went back to him. Mind you Leon and Helena were also being framed by Simmons for the whole thing that happened in the US, and he lost a good friend in the then current president, whom he had to kill.

Ironically it was Piers who was shoving, violently, the images of their fallen comrades in Edonia, in Chris’ face, and telling him he owed it to them to remember (Complaining about the state he found Chris in even). Piers was encouraged to bring Chris to China depending on his condition (so he was not forced to do it, he just felt it was where he belonged) only because they had experience facing the BOWS present, and he told Chris he was bringing him back with his team, one way or another. Part of Chris, felt the only way he could remember and get his life back, was to join this mission in China. This meant Chris needed to take on a lot of responsibility. The problem was Chris was not ready for that, and HE needed time off. HE needed to be rehabilitated (dude even had acute memory loss from a severe head injury, and I despise how carelessly this game treated it and his mental health overall).

Chris was left in a situation with someone with the same hot-blooded temperament as him (even going so far as to tell Jake he’d have killed him if he had killed Chris, DESPITE Jake’s significance in saving the world). The whole FORCED Chris Vs Wesker thing being rehashed, made me roll my eyes, just like the predictable outcome for Piers. I always believed he would die before the game even dropped. Just because of how RE works. When Piers wasn’t meeting Chris with the same hot-headed energy, he sometimes made valid points to Chris.

Piers told Chris they should escort Sherry and Jake, and pointed out how Neo-Umbrella was after them. Mind you, that six months prior, Chris met Sherry, whom he knew all about from Claire. Think about that. Chris was so blinded by his RAGE, that he didn’t even CARE about Sherry’s well-being (he literally said they were on their own), after briefly assisting her and Jake. Chris was NOT thinking about how it would affect CLAIRE, if she found out that he NOT ONLY was the one who arranged for the chopper that Neo-Umbrella took down, and caused Sherry to go missing just as long as Chris was, but then he ran into her AGAIN, and left her to fend for herself? Imagine, what that would have done to their relationship! Then again Leon wasn’t even fully aware of the fact Sherry was an Agent in the DSO (a process which began right after Wesker was killed), and knew NOTHING about her going missing for six months! There is NO EXCUSE for that! That SHIT does NOT make ANY sense!

Chris, became distracted, and only cared about pursuing the snake that Carla unleashed SOLELY as a trap for Chris’ new team. Chris took the bait, and she mockingly said, “Looking for me boys?” She infected the only other survivor of their new team (who Chris couldn’t bring himself to kill before fully transforming just like in Edonia), and she said “Welcome to China!”

Piers lost his cool with Chris, because Chris kept being stubborn, and would not listen to reason. He was a loose canon once he resumed command. Chris had to refrain himself from becoming violent towards Piers, just to try and shut him up (Chris kept trying to use his rank to get Piers in line as well). Piers said some hurtful/triggering things to Chris once again, though I want to say his intention was to find a way to get Chris to listen to him, and think more clearly, by bringing up sore spots, like the rookie Finn. He even asked him what happened to the legendary Chris Redfield, and did he even care about their mission.

Some have claimed Piers should’ve said Jill, but the point is about this NEW ROLE Chris took on. Working with a new partner, Sheva, in RE5 was a big change for him. He never took on other partners, after losing Jill. He hated the feeling of being the “one who survived.” That’s why everything that would happen after RE5, depended solely on Jill’s survival. Having her back, made him feel it was all worth it. The both of them were sacrificing their own lives, so that others could live theirs. So, working with younger generations of soldiers that would entrust their lives to him, was a HUGE responsibility for Chris. He even told the team in Edonia, it was HIS job to make sure they made it out alive.

Chris no longer had Jill as a safety net, and it was no longer just them as a duo. He had taken on a new role with a team depending on his leadership, while she worked on reclaiming her life.

Chris had to deal with things like this. It wasn’t a surprise to me that Piers responded to Chris saying he wanted him to take his place as Captain, with reluctance. After everything that happened, it made sense why. He saw what happened to the man he looked up to, and aspired to be like, as did many others who had since perished. Though, we also would find out in the Marhawa Desire manga, which was set several months before the events in RE6, that Piers lost someone he was “very close” to, as Chris put it.

Merah Biji was someone Piers took an interest in. She wasn't the only girl (there was Sophie, and also him wishing he could say more to the “pretty” Captain’s Sister Claire), but she was the one he grew most attached to. Merah had lost her parents in the RC incident, and dedicated herself to stopping bioterrorism. She was a researcher who moved to the combat field. She trained against a bunch of men, and within a year, she was beating them in sparring sessions. The ace of the Far East branch, met the ace of the North America branch, both knew of who the other was…the rest was history. 

When it comes to Merah, Piers was very much like Chris is with Jill. Giving her certain looks, taking particular interest in her and what she’s doing (even her eating habits), fiercely protecting her, and showing the utmost confidence in what they could do on the field together. They had a special bond, that CHRIS himself took notice of (smiling at them and even telling Piers to focus at one point), and he even told another character, Ricky, he wouldn’t dare let something happen to Merah, because he’d have to face Piers’s wrath. LOL! Merah moved him out of the way from an attack, and died from her wounds. Her last words telling Piers to work with Chris, and rid the world of bioterrorism.

^Merah literally was cut from the same cloth as Jill, and heck Sheva too for that matter as well!

So in a way, Piers was keeping a promise to Merah. I try to keep this in mind, in hindsight, as it’s very informative when trying to understand Piers’s own headspace. Piers himself was never meant to replace Chris. People talk about how the devs mentioned they thought about developing an alternate ending where Chris could die, but they didn’t do it because it felt cheap. They thought about doing the same thing with Jill in RE5. It would’ve just been a bad ending (like RE1 or Rev2). The thing is, Chris would’ve completely given up, and quit had Piers lived. There would’ve been no “good ending” if both lived. Piers had to die, for Chris to actually do what he said he needed to, which was to get his life back. They got the reaction they wanted from fans. This drama was done this way, because THEY felt Chris and Leon were too much alike, and since Chris just had RE5, they let him have the more dramatic story of the two.

Going back to the scene with Chris and Jill, one should be able to see how loaded Chris’s words to Jill are. He’s talking from his own experience without saying much. He even acknowledged that he probably would have done the same thing as her. Saying they always have to make tough choices like that. He’s telling her how they risk their lives all the time, but with them having been doing this for so long, they’ve become numb to what their fight encompasses. He warns her that they have to be that much more careful, because if they (not she, but they), let the numbness they feel get to them, it could engulf them right down to their very souls. Like, they could lose themselves in every sense of the word.

As a quick reference, this is Ricky from the manga. He’s trying to honor his uncle, who he saw himself a protector of, by trying to expose the woman who caused all of the tragedy. Note how he said he felt numb, as he watched all of the chaos and destruction in China.

Not once does Jill disagree with anything Chris said, but she’s frustrated, with how Chris doesn’t understand her. What she feels they need to be focused on. Why she feels she needs to be on the field, and why she’s behaving the way she does. It’s not just her trying to redeem herself, but she is pissed off, not at him, but at what this unknown bioterrorist(s) is doing. Jill’s real focus is aimed at the bad guys. Jill herself had been poisoned and used as a weapon, so you can bet Jill takes this personal. You literally can hear the anger in her tone when she says this. LONG ago, Jill made it her responsibility to protect others, and to fight so others could have futures (again same with Chris of course). So, if people want to dare say she’s a bitch for speaking her truth, and having some attitude then (like she’s NEVER shown anger/annoyance/frustration before, even though she wasn’t having shit from Wesker or even Barry in RE1)…

Rebecca must be a bitch!

Claire must be a bitch!

Sheva must be a bitch!

And the men are also just tryhard “boss bitches.” The list goes on!

All of that said, I mentioned earlier that Forgiveness is a reoccurring theme in stories Jill has been involved in. In RE1, her forgiveness/trust of Barry determines whether or not he lives or dies, and the impact extended far beyond that one game.

I included Barry’s story in Rev2, because Jill continues to have relevance in his life years later. Aside from references to her story in RE1 with Barry, Alex had used Uroboros as well (with Barry also making it clear he found out what happened in Africa…so I assumed he’d met up with Jill and Chris since her letter), but Jill’s forgiveness and understanding of Barry’s situation, is what allowed him to go on to live, and protect his family. He came back for Jill in the original RE3, and Jill (along with Chris) later invited him to join the BSAA, as an advisor. Claire even got to meet Barry and his family. Jill maintained her friendship with Barry, and she wanted him to heal his relationship with Moira, and told him not to be overbearing (in the Japanese text she outright told him she thinks he can be too meddling with the girls), and to cherish his time with his loved ones.

These connections would lead Barry on a path to find his daughter, and her overcoming her own fears, taking responsibility for her own actions, becoming a survivor, and appreciating what she had. Both of them were able to realize their own faults, and find forgiveness AND understanding from each other. Barry admitted he could be overbearing, which means he took to heart what Jill told him. Moira herself had also saw firsthand, the kind of loneliness and grief a father can feel, over regrets and devastating loss.

Brad abandoned the team at the start of RE1, out of fear, but hovered around the area, trying to make contact. He was never brave enough to face the reality of the situation head on. Ultimately him not leaving, allowed the remaining STARS members to escape alive. Brad chose to not fight back against Umbrella, like Jill and Chris were. In the remake of 3, Brad heard of Jill’s situation, and her plans to move out of RC (due to her investigation being stopped). He delivered a pizza with a slipped note to her, and Jill wrote back to him, though she never got to deliver it to him.

Brad, said he hoped that Jill wasn’t mad at him for keeping his head down, when the others had been trying to build a case against UB. He wasn’t trying to fight back, and was able to keep his job. He told her he had to slip this message using the pizza delivery guy. Jill was replying back to him over everything he asked about. Jill showed her forgiveness to Brad, by wanting to ask him to get involved, and pick up with where her investigation left off, IF he heard something happened to her.

If you look in Jill’s apartment, she left notes on her poster for this same delivery service he used, that ran 24/7, so she intended on using the same method as him, to try and get her package sent to him. Jill had been packing up her stuff to move to a new place (which is shown at the end of the game). Jill never had a chance to deliver her package to him, due to the spies monitoring her apartment (there was other activity going on in the city as well). Nonetheless, Brad would try to warn her about Nemesis, and after being bitten, Jill did not want to leave him behind, so he asked if they were still a team. She said “Always” (meaning she had forgiven him), and Brad told her not to fuck up like he did, before pushing her to go on without him. Jill thus, was thrusted into a situation, where someone she trusted was taken from her. 

However, that said, look at Jill’s opening monologue to OG RE3:

Jill mentioned that no one dared oppose UB, and this inaction would ultimately lead to their destruction. She said that perhaps they had to suffer the consequences of their actions, but she would NOT forgive them. You see her shut her eyes like, damn if ONLY these people had actually done something. This hurts her. Jill would be placing blame on the traitors within the RPD, possibly those who chose not to believe their story and just carry on as if nothing happened (literally most of STARS was wiped out mind you), and those who KNEW UB was up to no good, and corrupt, for just sitting back and letting things happen. Look at Marvin in OG RE2, he said Chris, Barry, and herself, risked their lives trying to expose UB, but no one believed them. So it’s understandable why Jill would be hurt and upset (the remakes tell things differently though). Things did not have to end up the way they did.  This is LITERALLY no different than how she feels in Death Island, as it was hard for her to really empathize with Dylan, because what he was doing was unforgiveable and he would not stop (much like Ada’s views on Carla in RE6). His nightmare totally consumed him. There was NO WAY IN HELL she would sit back and do nothing!

Even Chris himself had become desperate when all of their attempts to expose UB were thwarted.

Jill’s diary:

Jill wrote about how Chris winked at her, after she stopped him after he punched an officer, and the truth there, was Chris did this on purpose, so he would get “suspended” or go on “vacation” from work. Chris was fed up with not getting anywhere.  It was Chris’s way of hinting it was all good, and he had something brewing. When Chris asked her to come over, late one night, she was shocked to see how he had been fighting on his own, without even telling her of all people. That said, here is what Chris said in his own diary: 

Even though RE3 introduced some retcons to the lore, to account for Jill being removed as the lead of CV, they were very careful to make sure things made sense timeline wise. Chris mentioned that he was running out of options. If you look at his diary, and other notes, even in RE3, you will realize that zombies and BOWS were popping up BEFORE Chris left for Europe! Yet some people act like Jill has no right to be pissed off! They were trying to expose UB, and they were not getting help from ANY of the townspeople that were under UB’s payroll. Plenty was being covered up!

Days later Chris decided to “act up” at work, which allowed him to do some investigating without the prying eyes of traitors in the RPD and UB. Capcom would say that Jill saw Chris off to Europe, and continued her own solo investigation. The remake timeline however, doesn’t state that she would go off to Europe, and her plans were not suggested to involve joining up with Barry or Chris (though Chris didn’t tell her not to eventually join him). Her plans ended up being to move out of RC (before the events of the game began), so she could continue to find a way to hold UB accountable for their actions. 

Seriously, all the BS about Jill having no personality, or how she’s been turned into something unrecognizable, or the bullshit takes about how she’s just like Chris (hilarious when really many characters are following their templates tbh…as I said they even point out how alike Leon and Chris are), and BS about how she’s a bitch because she doesn’t entertain stupid jokes from people she just met, especially when she’s focused on bigger issues, or has VALID reasons not to completely trust people on UB’s payroll etc. It’s tired! Some folks really do not have a grasp on these characters IMO, and some probably spend too much time projecting what they THINK a character outta be, versus seeing them for what they actually are. Opinions are fine, but people should at least KNOW what they are talking about, instead of spreading BS.

 Let’s look at some of Jill’s bios.

Jill – joined STARS because she couldn’t abide by the evil threatening the lives of citizens, wants experiences that make her feel alive, is strong-minded, questions things and will stop at nothing to find answers, says what she thinks, in a frank manner, has a strong sense of justice and responsibility, is impulsive, but behaves calmly during missions, cheerful, independent and determined. The list goes on.

I’ve seen people talk about how she treats the UBCS in RE3make, as if she hadn’t been disrespected, or had valid reasons not to immediately trust them. She was spied on, UB sent nemesis, and Mikhail even knew who she was. I’d have red flags up too!

^Literally some think she actually changed. Trust from her is EARNED. After the betrayals she faced, and all the shadiness going on, it’s wise that she not immediately trust everyone.

Jill trusting any of them had to be earned. She tried to be helpful, and showed concern for many of them, even refrained herself at times, dealing with Nicholai’s BS. She even apologized for a rough start with Carlos, whom she had to rely on (she didn’t have the luxury of depending on people she trusted completely...i.e Chris or Barry). To say she changed in RE3make would be a foolish claim. Her situations changed, and she gave her fitting reactions to things. The characters around her ALL changed. She didn’t take bs (as usual), didn’t care for small talk, she was impulsive, spoke her mind freely, and generally put up her “strong” side, but when the time called for it, her softer side/tone showed itself. She even said “sorry” to  corpses of civilians!

^Jill being considerate of other people’s conditions, and being supportive in BOTH RE3 games. Wow! Who knew she could be so consistent?! :P

I’ve said in the past, that this war on bioterrorism is PERSONAL for both Jill and Chris, because THEY were used as guinea pigs to collect combat data on bioweapons. Set up to be slaughtered all for GREED and POWER. They had targets placed on them after surviving that nightmare. Many other characters had relatives who were victims, and their lives changed, or it was by circumstance they got involved.  So for Jill, it would be foolish to think she would be content with sitting on her ass doing nothing, or going to get drunk, to numb the pain. That is something typically displayed by the males in this series like Parker, Leon, Alexander (Buddy), and Chris. That reminds me…Remember that time in Vendetta, when Chris went to recruit Leon, since he had experience with the Los Illuminados (yeah they still exist post RE4 apparently)?    

Chris treated Leon’s drunken state, a lot like how Piers treated him—getting verbally aggressive, getting in his face, and not really caring (at first) about what he was going through emotionally, because “I got a job for you.” And “It’s OUR mission to bring his ass down!” In both situations, they were hoping to find these guys in a better state of being, so they could just go handle some business against bioterrorists who, in both cases, there was a 6 month time gap as well. Chris became physically aggressive with someone, so he needed to be stopped, and Rebecca had to check Chris and Leon’s BS so they could focus on what mattered. This new virus had a trigger, and it was unknown just how many were already infected. She said, she didn’t think either of them were the kind of people who would sit there and argue, while the world dies. Leon sitting there feeling sorry for himself, and Chris letting a personal vendetta get the best of him (again).

The approach in how someone handles someone can make all the difference, and unfortunately Chris’s dialog with Leon about how he could relate was cut, due to budget being put more into explosions/action over character, and only left in the novel. All that remained was Chris restating he needed him (in his best state) for this mission, and he could use his knowledge and skills. This is NOTHING like Chris’s approach with Jill though. Even with Chris being annoyed by her perceived recklessness, he’s ALWAYS tender in his approach with her, even with this threat rapidly increasing in numbers.

Jill doesn’t blow Chris off when he’s talking about his experience, and allows him to speak his piece. Yes, she went back to what she was doing, but that’s because there was literally nothing left to say. She felt justified, and that was that. Chris is not the boss of her. She’s not his subordinate. They are equals in their relationship.

She didn’t kick him out or tell him to fuck off, even when he was trying to talk to her again, he also doesn’t fight her on her desire to pursue the bad guys. Jill told Chris that, at least with her, she couldn’t afford to sit around and think about the numbness, their souls, etc. They needed to focus on stopping whoever was responsible for what was going on. She TOO isn’t one to sit around as the world dies. Also like Rebecca told Leon, Jill isn’t trying to sit there and feel sorry for herself. Again, she is pissed off about what’s happening because of bioterrorists. She’s spent LONG enough not doing what she dedicated her life to. SACRIFICING things she would like for herself, for the sake of OTHERS in the world. We as viewers, have to consider Jill literally was an UNWILLING participant in bioterrorist activity, and the fact she had to spend YEARS before she could PHYSICALLY do the work she committed her life to doing. Based on what we know, again, she had been inactive on the field for nearly a decade!

Jill has had more than enough experiences where she’s been isolated and could do nothing but sit in her feelings. RE3make and RE5 both had her being caged, be it in her physical living space/city, or her own body.

She had people spying on her 24/7 for several days in the remake, she was worried about possibly still being infected from the mansion, having daily nightmares, and felt that UB would come for her (which they did with Nemesis). 

You’re talking about a girl that CLEARLY came from a very outdoorsy/outgoing life. There were also other things and people she clearly cherished (two of them look like they could be Chris and Claire tbh). Her investigative work shown in RE3make, showed she was willing and able to dig deep to get answers. It’s no surprise that she was struggling with not being able to progress further. Her home became more like a prison for her. 

In RE5, Jill was no longer being treated like a human being, but just as a personal test subject for Wesker, with OTHER humans aiding in his research and bioweapon development. Then she was forced to act as a bioterrorist, obeying orders from these twisted individuals. Consider how Jill really did not have a reason to hope for release, unless she had hoped and prayed Chris would find her. Even if she did, she still had to watch her body do things against him. The same man she had giving her life for. It was not done for the BSAA, or because “he’s my partner.” It’s simply because she cares that deeply for Chris. She could not watch him die. There were no last words or goodbyes. For Chris, she didn’t hesitate, and was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice, in hopes of stopping their nemesis.

I’ve referenced this multiple times in the past, but for a better grasp of Jill’s POV in RE5, take a look at her thoughts from the Biohazard 5 Kaitai Shinsho.

Jill had given her life for Chris, only to have Wesker save her from perishing from their fall. He healed her body, with the intent on getting his revenge on her. The same woman who called HIM a slave of Umbrella (which he’d just found out was true). After being unable to enact his revenge, the way he originally intended to, he was said to have wanted to give her a suffering worse than death. Death being the only thing he wished to give Chris. He underestimated both once again, and was so sure that Chris would not live to see the world he was set to create.

After using her to finish his Uroboros project, Wesker used P-30 as a form of torture and control. Sure he might have even been able to sell it for funds or something, but he had no real use for this chemical in his endgame plans with Uroboros. Bare in mind also, Wesker generally, does not keep anything/anyone around beyond their usefulness to him. Because he could no longer use Jill as his first test subject (her antibodies developed from her infection in RE3 made her immune), he found another use for her. He disguised her in a way that didn’t just hide her, but made her something to be feared, as she left death and destruction behind her, which went against her very nature.

^She has to live with these scars. Stuff like this is why she would want to try and SAVE a life. That is who she is!

The woman who thought Wesker was trash for how he manipulated and used Barry as a puppet for his own selfish purposes, he was now doing that, but on a far worse scale with Jill. It’s arguable that Lisa Trevor went through the worst situation of any character in RE, but the main difference here, is that things with Jill were done on a personal level, and her mind had not eroded—she was fully aware and knew who she was.

Even though Chris was able to break through to Jill, and push herself to fight harder to resist, Wesker would overdose Jill, knowing it would cause her to suffer even more. We as viewers, have to consider that the more Jill tried to put up a fight, the more painful fighting (for even just a brief moment of control) was for her.

You can see Jill grabbing her head, crying out in pain as she fights for control. The entire fight, anytime you see Jill like this, this is Jill FIGHTING to be back at Chris’s side! The same way Jill’s whereabouts were fueling Chris along his personal objective, Jill has Chris pushing her to remember him, to fight for herself and to remember who she is. His faith in her, allowed her to help him, help her break free. That is how powerful their connection is.

I know that was a lot there, but with that in mind, one can understand that, despite some shortcomings within the writing, this conversation between Jill and Chris in the film, is the very definition of INTIMACY!

I occasionally see people lacking an understanding of what real intimacy is, and some not even understanding that sex and intimacy are not mutually exclusive. You can have sex and it literally be nothing but a passing moment of time (and not necessarily anything enjoyable for those involved). It’s different when there’s more of a spiritual and intimate connection involved. There’s so much asinine discourse about who should be fucking who…literally seeing people act like Jill OWES sex to Carlos for instance, because he got her the vaccine, and I’m like, “Well damn! In that case, I guess based on all of her other outings, Jill would be giving her body to Barry, Chris, Josh, Parker, Sheva, etc. Don’t forget Kendo for making her handgun, or the people who trained her in her military career!”

I’ve seen even some shippers who focus almost solely on Chris and Jill having sex, as a way to “consummate” their feelings. Some even saying the ONLY VALID reason Jill has not been around or mentioned (even up through Village), is either they fell out, or because she MUST be at home raising her and Chris’ children. It’s bad enough other people will say, she must have retired because it was “too much for her.” Some even out here acting like ALL of the women should be ignored and the focus should stay on the male leads. Like PLEASE. I’ve always said, Jill couldn’t just up and return in some random ass story, without her baggage being addressed. That would be a DISSERVICE to her character, to ignore her personal story. Hell, it’s barely even touched on in Death Island, but the production team, KNEW they had to consider what happened to her, when choosing her to lead the film. 

I’ve also said before that Jill would ONLY grow MORE DETERMINED to eradicate all of this evil and corruption from the world. THAT is who she has ALWAYS BEEN! It’s ALWAYS been part of her character. It is LITERALLY the reason she joined STARS. Also…Chris did order his soldiers to pick up the rest of the squad, before heading off to BSAA’s main HQ...IJS! She COULD be working with him, kind of like how Zoe made connections with him and some other agents. Chris and Jill do INDEPENDENT stuff as well, even if for the same cause. They just would not establish anything, without having re-established Jill’s character. 

Now, about intimacy… Encyclopedia Britannica defines intimacy this way:

Intimacy - the state of being intimate, which is marked by the consensual sharing of deeply personal information. It has cognitive, affective, and behavioral components. Intimates reveal themselves to one another, care deeply about one another, and are comfortable in close proximity.

There are SOOOOO many different types and levels to what intimacy brings, and how it can evolve within a given relationship. Beyond sexual/physical intimacy and expression, there are things such as: 

Intellectual intimacy

Emotional closeness

Spiritual bond

Understanding self and partner

Mutual respect

Communication

Vulnerability

Trust

Independence

These are qualities that exist within Jill and Chris’ personal relationship. It’s something they uniquely share, between each other in this series. They have both worked with others for the majority of their appearances, but the constant is their relationship with each other, sits above the rest. They ALWAYS find their way back to each other, and they don’t really feel whole without the other.

They weren’t assigned partners on one off or circumstantial situations, they chose, or rather they CHOOSE each other. Hell, one might argue it was fate, like how Chris said maybe it was fate how after killing Wesker, he ends up having to save his son, to fight off a virus. Jill and Chris already had a very close bond before we ever see them, and it continues to last even during all of the years they are apart/don’t appear with each other. Death Island makes this abundantly clear. Jill can ‘shoot the shit’ with Chris, right after having a disagreement. Not even addressing each other as partners, yet they operate as two halves of a whole.

They share mutual interests, and ideals, and know each other better than anyone else. They always keep an eye on each other, and show a mutual need for the other to be alive and well. They would stop at nothing to be there for the other (hell Chris didn’t even want to leave her behind when the whole world was at risk). They respect each other, they are most vulnerable with each other, and their trust has always been there. They don’t have to say they love each other, their actions show it, and others recognize what they have between them. It’s even been exploited by others as a plot point.

Hell, Claire knew what she was getting into by calling on the both of them. When Jill complained about not being able to get anywhere with their investigation, if they stuck around with the tourists, Claire offered to break away from them, so they could do their own thing. She witnessed her brother prioritize Jill over everything else, and was shown observing Chris’s reaction to moments with Jill! She knows what’s up! 

^Claire is very observant. IJS. Heck, CLAIRE is guilty of the SAME thing, when she got STUCK on “the type of man she’s attracted to.”

LOL! It’s no different than Parker witnessing Jill’s desperation in finding Chris. The way she lit up hearing that he was ok, and hearing his voice. “Chris!” Not ONCE did Jill ever show the SLIGHTEST concern for hating ass Jessica! LOL! Chris was at least professional about it, saying Jill AND Parker’s names, but Jill was STUCK on Chris! As calm as she was in general, she didn’t even try to hide it. LOL!

^Parker suggested Chris work with Jill, fully understanding she deeply cared about Chris, and would probably feel better working with him.

Note that Chris does not say it, but part of the subtext in their gun range scene, is that Chris is utterly afraid of losing JILL. He CANNOT lose HER! Again, Chris has implied that since her return to the field, HE PERSONALLY, has been with her EVERY STEP of the way. Just like it was him, and him alone, who spent YEARS doing everything he could to find some clue that she was alive, as he REFUSED to believe she perished (a feeling that Jill shared over him as RE1 and her OG RE3 epilogue have shown). It was what was fueling him throughout the entire story of RE5. It was Chris who was still spending time with Jill after Africa (according to Jill). He’s being her consistent support system.

Chris was so desperate to find her, he was afraid to let go of any hint that she was alive. In this moment here, he WHISPERS her name to himself (whispering being a thing they both do over one another as well), and then he chose not to tell Sheva anything.

^He looked at Jill’s image, as if she were his lover. This isn’t some OOC fanfic, this is what’s been stated and shown on screen.

He questioned the value of all of his efforts, and for him to figure out if it was worth it, EVERYTHING depended on HER survival. His will to keep fighting, his next steps in the BSAA, and this war on Bioterrorism, all hinged upon Jill’s survival.

That pause in his statement says it all—Chris could not move forward without finding the missing piece of his heart. This is no different than how in the film, Chris was willing to look for Jill on his own. “I’ll find Jill.”

There are some who I have seen state they think Chris doesn’t, or wouldn’t want Jill on the field, out of fear of losing her, and honestly, I never got that impression, even from the trailer. With Claire, even with her skills, Chris has told her at times, for her to leave, or stay somewhere else, while he attempted to handle something. With Jill, he prefers to have her around, he doesn’t want to be separated. Even with the risk of BOTH of them dying. He’d rather die fighting beside her/for her. It goes both ways.

“Excuse me.”

 “He’s all yours!”

Chris casually coming in, fighting beside her like the good old days. This is THEIR kind of fun on the field. This is like “old times” for them. You legit can see Jill’s amusement. This is what she needed from him. This helps her feel more like herself. These kind of moments make her feel alive! Even when his sister is around, he wants to be by Jill’s side. 

This shows a man who wants someone close to him, to take a piece of the action (literally she runs like she was just gifted a box of toys to play with), a man who does what his other half needs him to, and a man who supports her, and does not want to let her face what’s ahead of her alone. 

^You can even see him grab the prison cell bars, watching her, when Dylan attempts to test her, by trying to get her to kill Claire. He understands what this could be doing to her mentally, as this is TORTURE for Jill. I see it as him silently showing his support for her.

They are a battle couple that can be casual on and off the field. Their casual interactions help keep the edge off, and it’s familiar ground for them. It’s part of their consistent dynamic.

This is the face of an infected Chris, comforted by the fact Jill was still out there, which gave them all a chance. That said I want to highlight some things from the Umbrella Chronicles novels.

Now aside from these two joking around, like about Chris cursing around her, and calling Jill “sweetheart” etc., there came a point during their raid on UB’s Russia based lab, where Jill started to think about her past, and opened up to Chris about what made her who she IS. Why she does what she does. Honestly, it’s one of the most intimate conversations in the entire franchise.

Jill thought about a time from her childhood, where she was still so naïve about some of the grim realities of the world. She was injured, and while Chris was tending to her wounds, Jill talked about an incident with a little boy that was beaten and killed by his father. All of this happened in a small town. This changed everything for her. Chris wondered if she perhaps wished she hadn’t been born, and Jill was like NO WAY! She’s GRATEFUL to be alive. Chris worried about how PALE she looks…sound familiar?    

EVEN IN THIS MOMENT, Chris is expressing how relieved he was to see she’s alright! In this novel, he’s looking at her bravely put on a smile, telling him:

“Chris was under the impression that she had been doing this all her life.” That is so powerful.

^Again...they are so consistently portrayed.

Jill is very head-strong, and she won’t stop doing what she’s doing to try and make the world safer. She can’t afford to sit around and do nothing, and that comes at a cost. After defeating TALOS, they had another moment, but I’m gonna save that for a bit. However, I’ve referenced this part of the story before, but look at Jill’s conversation with Chris about a life she wondered if she could ever have:

You see Chris was continuing to support Jill, even with his own injuries. It didn’t bother him (just like when he allowed her to rest on his shoulder in RE1 – that’s consistency!!!). They allude to what would end up happening in RE5, with them pursuing Spencer. Chris suggested the soldier seemed to like Jill, and she jokingly said maybe she should marry him. Chris is like, “Really? This guy?” Jill then begins to open up to him again. She expressed the idea of her getting married, building a family, growing old and watching over her grandchildren, and asked Chris if he thought she could lead such a life (a much simpler life away from all of this fighting). Chris, being his usual self with her, assured her, that she COULD have all of those things, but it depended on having the right “partner” (a term especially associated with them, that also has multiple meanings). Then he looked at her and winked. It says that this seemed like a new behavior to Jill. Somehow…that behavior caught her off guard.

One could interpret it in other ways, I suppose, but that’s a pretty heavy-handed hint that Chris is telling Jill, with no words, he would want those same things with her. Even with all the death around them, and their fight not truly being over, it was something worth fighting for, especially with the right person. Both of them have gone through it for each other. They are WORTH everything to each other. They don’t have to say it, because their ACTIONS tell their story. He’s telling her HE is there for her. He wants her to be happy, and he’s happy with her. When she’s down, or not in her best state, he is down. 

One thing that always sticks out to me about them though, is how they END their stories. EVERY single joint appearance they’ve had, they are comforted by each other’s presence and have a moment. In RE1, Chris and Jill always choose to sit side by side. He allows Jill to rest on him. In their paired ending, originally, Jill would reach out for Chris to hold her hand, and then she observes him for a moment. They are both trying to take in what just happened, but they find comfort in each other. No words needed to be spoken. In the remake, he admires her ability to sleep and is comforted by her presence. They literally have no PEACE, if the other is not around and ok.

In endings leading up to RE5, Chris catches Jill observing the sky, deep in thought. He tries to comfort Jill, by highlighting their “accomplishments,” even though Jill is still thinking about the storms to come, because their efforts weren’t enough (i.e Wesker still being a threat), or come at a high cost (such as the presumed death of Parker). Even when he talks about other accomplishments, such as in this film, or killing Wesker, he looks back at Jill, and there’s this unspoken satisfaction, in seeing HER able to smile and have some peace. His stare LINGERS on her both times. In RE5, she’s happy and relieved Wesker’s dead. That brings him joy. One of their nightmares is over. He just keeps looking at her, even before his final thoughts are expressed.

There’s a reason why his closing statement in RE5, is stated when HE is staring at Jill. He doesn’t say her name. Just like he didn’t say it in the opening segments of RE5. We found OUT his “personal stake” was Jill. He was willing to throw his life away for her, above all else! He could not let go of her. Chris looked at Jill MULTIPLE times in that scene. He looked at Jill when he thought about the WORTH of his efforts (He’s not looking at Sheva…SHEVA is looking at THEM looking at each other), and after Jill stares back at him, he looks away with a grin. To have this moment, after all of that time apart, the hell both of them endured, a simple moment such as this, was worth it all. Fighting for THAT “future” they both strive for (one without fear). The way I see it, the UC novel, in a way, was suggesting that that life Jill would LIKE to have, is something being SACRIFICED for the greater good. FEAR, made her question if it was at all possible.

The way they get so stuck on each other (and it’s hilarious how some fans claim Jill harbors a crush on HIM and Chris is just married to his work… :P), shows DEVOTION exists between the two of them. I mentioned I was saving a moment from the UC novel, and here it is:

The take away I get from this exchange, is simply how comfortable they are with each other. Even with all of the suffering they endure, they are each other’s comfort zone. All of that, and Jill jokes about divorcing him if they were on a honeymoon. Chris says not to worry, as they’d be spared of such monsters. Project X Zone does something similar.

Not only do you have them doing the “Don’t worry” thing again, you have BOTH assuring the other, that they would always be there for each other (and they say it confidently).

You also have Jill “threaten” to call off their engagement partnership, if he dares start to emit fire and electricity from his hands!

Again with the consistency!

There’s even a non-canon RE1 prequel story, Biohazard: The Beginning, where Chris is getting grilled by Jill for withholding information (she doesn’t play about justice/getting to the truth!). Chris in various versions of the story, alludes to some feelings he has about her/her character, he tries to get her to stop interrogating him by suggesting she wants to go out with him, he pays attention to what is bothering her, they joke around, and he finds comfort in her presence.

Again, there is just so much consistency in the way their relationship is written all over!

All in all, I love what Chris and Jill’s relationship is, and what it brings out of both characters. I don’t care if others don’t like it, or don’t see it for what it’s been said to be about. I appreciate all it represents. The film gave me more of what I expected. The film did not do any damage to their relationship, as some tried to suggest to others in the fandom, and they damn sure had plenty of chemistry. They put smiles on each other’s faces! Some people even got worked up over Jill FINALLY interacting with other characters...smdh. Like, it’s about damn time she did! Still, in regards to them, it was just classic Chris/Jill. No labels needed to be placed on what their relationship is, it’s still as solid as ever.

Along with that, I also wanted to show a bit of how Jill has not changed, contrary to what some seem to think. She’s still the same chic she was in RE1, but with more experiences behind her. She’s actually very consistent. 

I know this was a VERY long post, but if anyone enjoyed it and/or learned something from it, I’m glad.

[thedvilsinthedetails]

rosekiller band au microfic pt4

heyyy guys pt4 is hereeeee

ok so this one is a bit shorter bc I’m a bit tired today but I rlly wanted to write it anyway so I did lol but it’s not been edited like at all so there may be typos pls point them out if u spot them so I can fix them tyyyy

yayyyyy I love this one

Ok ppl who wanted to be tagged/wanted the next part: @good-oldfashioned-lover-girl @picklerab23 @nikholascrow @always-reading @weirdtinkerbellversion @lady-stardust-incarnate @depressedtheatrekiddo @y0url0verb0y @idk-what-to-put-here-123 @lulublack90 (as always pls lmk if u want to be added to the taglist/don’t want to be tagged x)

link to part one

link to prev part

(EDIT: link to next part)

***

Barty’s stomach flipped as Evan looked at him, stunned and stunning. Then the moment was broken and Evan turned his head to look at Dorcas who seemed to be fighting back a laugh. This was stupid fuck this was stupid.

“Did you know about this?”

Evan asked Dorcas who shook her head.

“First time I’ve heard about it.”

Stupid, STUPID. You’re so stupid Barty why would you go and say that. You should have said no when Marls suggested it, should have said no straight away.

“It’s um- to make a statement. Kiss on the stage to piss of Riddle but it’s fine you don’t have to-“

“It’s a good idea.”

Evan said quickly.

“Oh, yeah it was Marls’. Wouldn’t want to um…steal the credit.”

Wouldn’t want you to think that the idea of kissing you plays on repeat in my mind every second I’m awake. 

“Yeah. I um- I want to. I think it would be good-“

Brilliant actually it would be fucking brilliant Rosier.

Barty amended Evan’s statement.

“To make a big statement.”

“Yeah.”

Yeah. Yeah what other reason would there be Barty? What were you hoping for? Pathetic isn’t it. The way you would gladly lick the crumbs left on his plate if he asked you to. He doesn’t want to kiss you, he wants to piss of homophobes. Don’t forget that.

It was in fact too late for Barty to not forget that because all that was ringing in his ears was ‘I want to. I want to.’ Because honestly Barty was going to kiss Evan. Maybe for the only time ever in his life. But he was going to. He’d never even thought it a possibility before. 

•••

I figured out that this modern world is turning the wrong way round

There’s something about the way our bedsheets turn religion upside down

So we just have sex to solve all our problems

Let’s do it again

It had been Pandora’s idea for the kiss to happen during ‘cotton candy’ and everyone had immediately agreed. It was a stroke of genius really. Barty had originally thought it should take place in a love song, but that wasn’t what this kiss was about. This kiss was about the freedom, the liberation everyone deserved to be who they were, to test their limits and experiment and not be judged for being queer or straight or promiscuous or prudish. Cotton candy was just that. A call for sexual liberation, a call to stop demonising young people for living their lives.

And I wanna get stuck between your teeth like cotton candy

So you remember me darlin’

Barty turned his head to look at Evan. Their microphones were too far apart on separate sides of the stage, everyone hated it. He felt uncomfortable so far from Evan, they just performed better when they were up close together. The crowd had actually been pretty annoyed when they saw it at first. Still when he looked he saw Evan staring back at him. He cocked his head sideways, a silent, last minute ‘are you ready?’ Evan nodded. 

Im losing myself in you 

In you 

In you

In you 

In you

I know

Evan stopped playing the guitar and let it just hang around his neck as he took the microphone out of the stand. Barty watched him before taking his own mic out the stand too.

I’m losing myself in you

In you 

In you

In you 

In you

I know

They turned to face each other and Barty began to walk.

Leave me in the morning, although

I don’t wanna be on my own

They met somewhere in the middle of the stage and suddenly the scream of the crowd dulled and the music stopped and for a moment there was nothing except Evan. Evan Evan Evan. His eyes staring straight into Barty’s. The hushed sound of their soft harmonies. The warmth of his breath dusting Barty’s face as they pressed their foreheads together.

I’m losing myself in you

In you

In you 

In you 

In you 

I know.

And they kissed. The crowd screamed. And suddenly the world was filled with colour even though Barty had his eyes screwed shut. Kissing Evan was like…fuck Barty was no wordsmith, Regulus and Pandora wrote their songs. But kissing Evan was everything. He tasted sweet and minty like the gum he’d chewed right before the show. His hand was warm and calloused and currently threaded through the hair at the base of Barty’s neck, tilting his head up just so.

The instrumental was over, they’d missed their cue. Barty didn’t care. They kept on kissing till the song faded to a close and even then kept going till the clap of the crowd died down. They softly broke away but Barty couldn’t hide the grin that broke onto his face. Evan just grinned right back.

***

AHHH YAY OK I LOVE THIS SONG CAN I JUST START BY SAYING THAT

Watch the music video for this song (cotton candy by YUNGBLUD)

LOOK AT THE SKIRT HE WEARS AND TELL ME BARTY WOULDNT WEAR THAT

Also what do we thinkkkkk they finally kissed!!!!!!

Ayyyyyy

ok stay tuned for the FIFTH and FINAL part (probs gonna be released tmrw hehe)

Also I’m probably gonna put this on ao3 btw, not gonna change it bc I don’t have the patience to properly lengthen it (at least rn, ig u never rlly know) but it’s just like if ppl want to bookmark it or reread or whatever it’ll probs be easier

ANYWAY LMK WHAT U THOUGHT

😘BYEEEEE

[yunarim]

「 ☕️ ⊹ summary 」 : apparently you have a new regular customer in a cafe you work part-time at. though you wonder why that certain someone always glances your way and smiles every time you voice his name when his coffee is ready…

— ⋆ characters : ace, epel, floyd, silver — ⋆ tags : gn reader, fluff, reader is yuu but they work as a barista at a nearby cafe

「 Ace Trappola 」

At first you didn’t want to announce that you’ve managed to escape dependence on your so-called parent (Crowley that would be) who didn't give you pocket money at all. The reason is that well… congrats on having a part-time job so you can spoil your besties with that limited melon buns in the cafeteria!

Yeah, now you have some amount of money but still it’s enough just for you to buy food for yourself and provide Grim with tuna cans so that he doesn’t annoy you much.

And while you were managing to hide this fact you knew you wouldn't last long with your friends. 

“Hey, are you free today?” Ace would ask you often.

“Right, we’re having an unbirthday party, come with us.” Deuce would add.

“Sorry guys, I need extra studying with how often Grim distracts me… Maybe another time.”

Extra studying, my ass, Ace once thought and decided he should check on you in case you’re doing something illegal. You surely weren't but hey, he was genuinely worried for you! (definitely not interested as hell, not that) 

He found you heading to a city centre and entering a fancy-looking cafe which got popular not so long ago. 

He entered too a few minutes after, seeing you adjusting something on the shelves and saying a sweet ‘welcome!’ as you heard someone enter.

Ace got used to you regaining composure whenever you were doing assignments or concentrating on midterm tests but somehow the way your gaze lingered on coffee beans and cute cupcakes was still sharp but more… gentle?

“What would you like to- Oh.”

It wasn’t shocking to see him here. You knew it would happen one day, but today? Not after that hellish history test you’ve managed to survive, not to mention you just had to take a night shift today. 

“Anything our cute secretive prefect would recommend,” he grinned at you rolling your eyes. 

“Alright, just wait a second, I’ll call your name when it’s ready.”

Unfortunately, you were having a lot of customers that day so he couldn’t really chat with you. And if you actually thought he would just check on you and let you work peacefully (or not really), Ace knew the possibility of him turning into a coffee-addict wasn’t so distant anymore.

“Ace, your ice latte is ready.”

At first he counted how many times a week he visited the cafe you worked at and now it was absolutely pointless, given he was completely lost in his thoughts. 

You just had to pronounce his name so cutely, huh?

Yo wait, cutely? For real?

Nah, no way. The way you smiled every time he walked in, raising his voice and calling you by some lame nicknames, always different every day he decided to drop by and have a little chat with you, wasn’t delightful to witness, too. No way.

“Hey, it’s already late. Not that I’m worried about you being scolded by Riddle or something, but it’s just strange seeing you studying in a cafe like a diligent student you aren’t. Let’s go together.”

Shit, he thought, closing his copybook and realizing he had done all the homework he had for two weeks forward. 

Shit, he thought when you closed the cafe and took off your apron.

Somehow you, wearing not the school uniform in which he saw you every day in college, but in casual clothes made him blush a little, realizing something he couldn’t admit at first.

Ace in his dorm room at 3 am: Sevens forgive me for being so shamelessly cringe lovestruck.

Ace today when he orders his ice latte: that's for your boyfriend Ace, please.

You: you’re so dumb I like that in men.

「 Epel Felmier 」

He didn’t know himself how he even managed to sneak out to the city centre without Vil noticing but finally he could eat something that wasn’t plain vegetable salads full of something oh so healthy and nutritious… whatever.

Okay, cool. This sortie into the city was planned during long sleepless nights with Epel exploring a ton of reviews about new cafes that opened nearby recently. 

Good old fast food was something he tried eating already so it was out of his choice for today, moreover he wanted to know what kind of coffee shops metropolises have and what kind of drinks and cupcakes they could offer.

Today was the day, and after taking photos and getting souvenirs for grandma he finally found the cafe he had chosen for today’s observation. 

A warm cozy atmosphere enveloped him, who was tired by the evening, and pleasant relaxing music helped regaining calmness after an eventful day.

“Good evening,” you greeted him and smiled gently. “What would you like to order?”

Maybe he got why this cafe has the best reviews. How could it not when the barista is so cute and friendly? 

He didn’t know how other baristas behave but he was sure they were completely out of your league. Really, why are there no drinks named after your smile? That’s a crime.

“Uh… latte maybe? With a lavender syrup.”

“Latte with a lavender syrup coming right up. Your name please?”

“Epel.”

“Alright, Epel, I’ll call you when it’s ready!” 

Shit, you’re literally shining with a golden glow around you, that’s illegal! 

Once you called him he knew he gotta find a decent reason to sneak out more so that he could see you again.

“Rook, help me, it’s urgent. Take me to the city centre without Vil noticing, I’ll repay you somehow. Wanna some apple juice maybe?”

Good for him Rook knew by one glance his underclassman got lovestrucked heavily and what a great news it was! 

Epel didn’t know (nor didn’t he wanted to) what exactly Rook said to Vil but now he got a strong reason to visit the cafe he met you. 

Okay, so today he definitely must ask for your number or something. 

He was already drowning in dreams of you two talking over the phone, you still working during the night and he hiding under the blanket from Vil and almost whispering to you and discussing little nothings and-

Ah, grandma’s calling. He answered her and explained where he’s heading to.

“Yeah, yeah, that cafe,” he replied, rolling his eyes at her curious tone. “Yes, the one with that cute barista. Yeah, grandma, I’ll ask. Yeah, yeah.”

He entered and met your soft gaze. You waved at him in a friendly way, recognizing him and he almost melted.

“Good morning,” you said quietly, noticing he was talking over the phone, and he nodded, greeting you as well. “Lavender latte as usual?”

“Alright, I’m busy, grandma, call you later,” he tried to hang up the phone but suddenly even you heard her reply.

“Sure sure, don’t forget to ask them out already!” 

Beep beep beep and you and Epel remain completely silent. 

“Aargh this is not what you think, I can explain!-”

“Really? I was planning on asking you out too actually.”

You when Epel called his grandma after your shift was over: discussing when the wedding would be.

Epel: cringing hard but smiling like an idiot, holding your hand and drinking his lavender latte.

「 Floyd Leech 」

Dig around what’s with that new menu our competitors have, Azul said. It would be a good intel, Azul said.

Boring! Why not Jade? He was much better at gathering info anyway. 

But still Jade advised he should look for merits everywhere, so Floyd actually decided to listen to his brother and decided he could at least mess up someone’s business so this trip would be fun.

He entered the cafe Azul told him about and approached a barista, throwing a curious grin at them and giggling.

“Good morning!” You said with a beaming smile and adjusted your name badge. “What can I get for you?”

Bonus points for your sunny smile. Floyd tried to imagine Azul or Jade smiling like that and almost roared with laughter at how silly this thought was. They lack cuteness! Not that they had it in the first place and nor they should have had it, but still it’s interesting seeing someone smiling so genuinely at a stranger!

“Something warm and extremely sweet~” he leaned on the table and observed your features shamelessly, finding it amusing that you still remained so bright and friendly. “It’s so cold outside!”

“Alright! What’s your name?”

“Floyd,” he replied. 

You wanted to get his drink ready but suddenly heard your boss calling for you. You apologized and quickly went to a staff room. Floyd didn’t mind waiting for a little, considering you’ve piqued his interest and not to even mention you were so adorable! So small and lively, it was so refreshing to see someone so vivacious. Bonus points: obtained!

Hmm~ You came back with an irritated frown on your face. Floyd wondered what happened.

“I’m sorry for the delay,” you said and turned to the coffee machine, gathering ingredients and starting making his drink, but just as he was about to chat with you a bit more, you were called once more.

“I’m really sorry,” you apologized once more, quickly retreating to the staff room again.

Your facial expression was so unbelievably funny when you returned. Floyd couldn’t contain his laugh at how fast and professionally you switched between being a little lovely sunshine and furious raging harpy cursing your boss under your breath. 

“Your drink, Floyd. I’m really sorry…”

“No worries~” He took the drink from you and took a sip. My my, you knew exactly what you were doing, your skills were incredible! Bonus points definitely. “See ya tomorrow!”

“Ah? Yes, see you.”

Floyd wondered whether he could add bonus points for your puzzled expression or would it be too much already.

Next day Floyd convinced Azul he needs more time to make a report. And the day after. And the next week too. 

One day you greeted him not with that sweet smile of yours but with a sad sigh and forced laugh and Floyd thought he could beat the shit out of your boss for making you so gloomy.

“Here,” he blinked at how a cup of cappuccino appeared before him. “Take it as a compensation for always hearing me out.”

Jeez, were you serious! So many bonus points just didn’t exist. 

Floyd when he decided to have a little chat with you for a few minutes and your boss shouted again: you know what, work for us. At least Azul doesn’t scream like that. Well, maybe he does sometimes, but he's cute. Not as cute as you though!

Azul when he was supposed to receive a report and eliminate his rival cafe: excuse me?

You being squeezed by Floyd: nice to meet you.

「 Silver 」

When kids are taught that two times two is four Silver realized coffee doesn’t help to remain awake. 

Still, Lilia decided it wouldn’t hurt to try and suggested Silver drink coffee in the mornings, and maybe it was just a self-hypnosis but Silver found himself staying awake for fifteen minutes longer if he had a cup of strong americano in the morning. 

Getting to the city and grabbing a fancy coffee before lessons was his motto, so that almost all baristas knew who he was and just how strong his coffee should be.

You didn’t, though, at least due to the fact that you started working not so long ago.

You saw an extremely handsome boy entering a cafe and was so dumbstruck with how charmingly he looked that you didn’t notice his rather inert movements. 

“Good morning, what would you like to order?” You greeted him, smiling brightly as usual.

“Hm… Something strong. Americano would do.”

“Okay! And your name is?” 

He glanced at you and realized you were someone who he saw for the first time. Usually other baristas are already aware and don’t even ask his name anymore. 

Meanwhile you were trying your best not to scream at how insanely beautiful his eyes were glimmering in dim cafe lights. 

“It’s Silver.”

You gave him his coffee when it was done and he thanked you. After he left you found yourself spacing out, the image of that cute boy popping up in your head randomly, and you thought you were seeing things when he came once more by the evening.

“Good evening, Silver.”

“Oh,” he replied. “You’re quite quick with remembering names, I presume.”

It’s just your name’s so lovely, how could I not, you thought almost voicing it out loud, but you just smiled instead. 

“Americano once more, please.”

This time he didn’t go straight away but sat near the window and opened his textbooks. You assumed he was doing his homework and concentrated on serving other customers. 

It was already late when you spotted Silver sleeping at the table, textbook pages wrinkled under his cheeks, and you approached him. He felt your gentle touch on his shoulder and slowly opened his eyes, meeting with your tender gaze full of worry.

Were you concerned about him falling asleep here? Maybe you really were but why then was he so happy to see such genuine worry in someone’s eyes which were so incredibly pretty, by the way… What was he even thinking?..

“Oh, I’m sorry. Are you closing up?”

“Don’t be,” you sighed, giving him a cup of what he thought would be coffee but the green tea flavor was too strong to mistake it for coffee. “I think you should drink herbal tea instead of coffee actually. Here, on the house.”

Silver thought if heart eyes were real, you could see them right now just with one look at him. 

Lilia almost freaked out seeing Silver drinking sea buckthorn tea the next morning and chatting with someone over the phone.

Lilia: wrong sticker, use this instead.

Sticker: two kissing kittens.

Silver: dad what the-

Lilia: they replied~

You: omg you know how to use stickers i’m delighted 🫶🫶🫶🫶💗💗💗

© yushiiae 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝. 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭, 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲, 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐲, 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧.

[vickyvicarious]

I went on to make a thorough examination of the various stairs and passages, and to try the doors that opened from them. One or two small rooms near the hall were open, but there was nothing to see in them except old furniture, dusty with age and moth-eaten. At last, however, I found one door at the top of the stairway which, though it seemed to be locked, gave a little under pressure. I tried it harder, and found that it was not really locked, but that the resistance came from the fact that the hinges had fallen somewhat, and the heavy door rested on the floor. Here was an opportunity which I might not have again, so I exerted myself, and with many efforts forced it back so that I could enter. I was now in a wing of the castle further to the right than the rooms I knew and a storey lower down.

Speculation time: why is this door not locked?

I think there are two main options. In the past I just assumed it was the first one, but now I'm a bit more open to considering the second, which changes the tone of what comes next a bit.

Dracula didn't think he needed to lock it.

First consideration: this is a ways away from Jonathan's rooms and the ones he usually has access to. It's possible that Dracula was less careful about locking away different doors in further reaches of the castle. After all, there are a few other rooms in the hall that are open but don't really have anything to hide. Going along with that consideration, the fact that the door itself was heavy and had fallen on the floor so seemed locked at first, may have been all the justification he needed. It's possible that he didn't think Jonathan would have been able to open the door anyway, so there was no need to bother installing a new lock on a broken door.

If this is the case, then his warning to Jonathan about not sleeping outside of his own bedroom may well have been entirely genuine. Dracula has decided that he wants to keep his solicitor around a while longer, and so he gave him a warning which should ensure he actually stays alive to toy with. He's genuinely surprised and angry to find Jonathan about to be fed upon when he returns.

Dracula knew it could be opened.

While the door is heavy and is stuck, it's not impossible to move. Perhaps Dracula knew that. This year, I have noticed that a couple of the moments where Dracula tells Jonathan not to do something can almost be taken as a challenge. It could match the way he is constantly pushing boundaries in other ways as well - verbally, physically, what-have-you - he is trying to press and find Jonathan's breaking point. So far, Jonathan has just kept bending, and in doing so has avoided snapping (and getting immediately killed). The fact that he obviously knows what is going on but goes along with it anyway is super fun for Dracula, and possibly a big part of the reason he is still alive/his stay has been extended.

But something else Jonathan has done - and will continue to do - is to resist where he can. He doesn't confront Dracula directly but he does sneak around and spy on him. He doesn't mention the many doors being locked including the front door, but he did run around and check a bunch of them. I talked about both the locked doors and the warning about sleep as bait the other day, so I won't rehash all of it... but if it was meant as bait that points to a couple key differences.

Firstly, that Dracula could still be testing Jonathan's limits where he isn't involved. Perhaps it isn't just the way Jonathan reacts to him in person that is so fun for him, but also the way he's always pushing limits in his own way. He takes cues and tries stuff! He keeps Dracula on his toes! It might be just interesting/engaging enough to be fun without being annoying (like any sign that he could actually succeed in escaping/any direct confrontation would be). In that view, Dracula might enjoy dropping hints that give Jonathan what looks like chances to learn things or escape, but which in his opinion won't get him anywhere. The fact that he is able to manipulate Jonathan's behavior with these type of comments could also be a part of the fun, extending his feeling of control over him even through Jonathan trying to resist it.

Of course, this means that Dracula was willing to take a chance that Jonathan would get drunk from first by his roommates, which is the second big difference. There's a couple options there as well: he may have been okay with it since they don't tend to kill immediately (at least until he saw it about to happen and then got more possessive than he'd expected to, and became genuinely angry). He may have wanted to test if Jonathan would ignore his advice but didn't expect him to make progress so quickly (perhaps expecting him to sleep in a different room like the library or hall if he slept anywhere outside his bedroom). This second option could overlap with the first bullet point too actually, where the warning was still meant as bait but Jonathan took way more of the bait than Dracula expected, and he wasn't actually supposed to get access to this room yet/ever. The only downside there is that every other time Jonathan disobeys Dracula he is faced with near-immediate negative consequences to 'punish' him. The ladies serve that purpose very well here, and if Jonathan was supposed to disobey but not meant to meet them, it makes me wonder what the consequence would have been supposed to be.

Still, I do kind of like that last option, because it fits with a recurring theme where Dracula enjoys toying with Jonathan... not realizing that the act of doing so is directly giving Jonathan the tools and information he uses to later defeat him (also contributing to big reversals/exchanged traits between them as Jonathan learns way more than expected). This repeats with Mina as well in a big way, when him establishing a mental connection allows her to spy right back on him. Perhaps Dracula is having fun right now watching Jonathan follow various bread crumbs of hints and try to figure things out and try new ways of escaping, all of which are doomed to failure. But, and this is later exemplified by his diary full of information which he manages to keep despite Dracula stealing all his other things, Jonathan is both accomplishing and learning more than Dracula expects or realizes at every turn. And all of it will eventually be turned against him.

[theunaestheticstudyblr]

How I limit my productivity and why you probably should too

Yes. I limit my productivity. I monitor my time being spent on being "productive" and doing things that are focused on growth instead of existence. Now I don't mean to say that I just ignore myself and don't try to be a better person. I'm talking in context of stereotypical social media productivity; things like studying for hours, working extra shifts, maximizing time spent on growth podcasts and self help books instead of indulgences like music and fantasy novels. I don't mean analyzing your bad behaviors and working on breaking bad habits. I'm talking more on the lines of marketable growth.

I have noticed a major increase over a couple years in people trying to be as productive as possible. They prioritize productivity and growth (again talking more of the marketable, social media style, not personal) and minimizing time spent living and merely existing. We are sprinting a marathon it seems. And I do not like sprinting. Or even running. It's my most dreaded part of my gym time. I acknowledge that it is necessary, and so is spending time being productive and working on your marketable growth. But it shouldn't be the main part of every day, just like sprinting for 10 minutes on a treadmill shouldn't be the main part of every workout you do.

I love informative podcasts just as much as the next person and TED Daily is a favorite for sure, as well as various fish and nature podcasts are too! But I limit these to my hour+ commute to campus every other day. When I'm walking around, I listen to music or maybe a "brain numbing" podcast (ones that don't make you think and comprehend and analyze things like story ones [magnus archives eg] or paranormal or mythology or crime style podcasts). I listen to pleasure things, not to thinking things. This gives my brain noise that's just noise. It let's my brain slip out of analytical scientist mode for a while and maybe dance while I walk around!

My gym time is scheduled. I spend the scheduled time in the gym and I enjoy it so much! But when it's not gym time, it's not gym time. I do my morning stretches and yoga and I do my hour in the gym every other day. This is time purely for the gym and nothing else. It's a great release but can also become taxing very quickly, so I only think about it when it's time to.

Study time is the same. It's scheduled and I study when it's study time. I don't walk around and look at flashcards anymore. This is not helpful at all and you could easily hurt yourself or others. You won't retain the information really and you're just adding extra stress into your already stressful life.

I have a schedule for my week and I block out my productive times. My gym time. My study time. My intellectual reading time. My information podcasts. All those things. But I schedule them AFTER I have blocked out classes, work, my slow mornings, chores, and pleasure items like a hair mask night or a night out or something. Of course I make time for improving myself and like I said they are also scheduled, but not with more importance than my actual life. And I also make sure that I know to be flexible with myself. Sometimes I have to add in extra study time and reduce time spent elsewhere if I have a test or something. Sometimes I get sick or I lose track of time while playing video games. Sometimes I sit in the bath way longer than I should. And that's ok. Sometimes we need to have the discipline to put pleasure aside EVERY NOW AND THEN and Sometimes we need the grace to put productivity on the back burner EVERY NOW AND THEN.

Don't ignore your responsibilities, but don't ignore your life either. So please, make just as much time for your pleasure as you do for your productivity. They're both important, but don't let school and life weigh you down so much that rain is annoying and angering and that you miss your niece's 3rd birthday. Dance in the rain. Jump in the puddles. Spin and laugh as you get soaked. And eat the easy bake cakes your little cousin bakes. And read your friend's kid a story. And draw little doodles in your notes. And smile. And try to make someone else smile. And drink your too sweet, too hot coffee. And listen to that song that you'd be embarrassed if anyone knew you liked it. Please don't forget to live.

[xjulixred45x]

Dead Plate x Married in Red AU Drabble: but you did...

-Married in Red/Dead Plate Major spoilers for several endings- Rody takes Bok-Su's place and Vince is Da-jeong- Vince is canon gay so he is marrying (ceremonially) a man- Quite Angst- TW in the Hashtags

MAIN POST OF THE AU

- “Rody, here you are…”

Vincent's voice brought Rody back to reality and, oddly enough, a feeling similar to excitement. Not excitement to see it, no, excitement for what was to come.

Rody turned and stared for a moment at his Ex-boss, his former friend, who was looking at him with a look of serious reprimand. If Rody were his self from about 5 years ago, he would probably be shaking and scared, but at this point...Rody could only smile, satisfied with being pushed to the limit like this. He had it right where he wanted it.

- “I need to talk to you” - Vincent grabbed his arm, urging him to come closer.

- “whatever you want Vincent—“- Rody returned to his introductory self, trying to appear as non-threatening and friendly as possible until he was cut off.

- “in private.”- Vincent tightened his grip on his forearm, either trying to prevent him from walking away or trying to intimidate him, it didn't work in any case.

- “It seems like a luxury with so many guests. There are too many people to do something here…” - Rody didn't know if he said that last thing for Vincent or for himself. Be patient Rody, almost, almost...

-“Chris's room should be enough.”-

- “the groom's room? What would Chris think if he heard you now?” – Rody watched with amusement as Vincent's face contorted into even more visible anger, but surprisingly he didn't say anything. he only half drag him to the room.

_____________________________

Rody entered the room followed closely by Vincent. He tried to stay as close to the closet as possible not only to ensure the success of his plan, but also to keep Vincent away from him and not notice the metallic smell he emitted from there (which they both already knew VERY well).

- “cut the shit, tell me why you're really here.” – Vincent looked at him irritated and visibly dismayed at the lack of information, he KNEW that if Rody was here it was for a bad reason, but he needed to hear it from him, to know what was.

- “I already told you Vincent, I came to congratulate a friend who helped me in a difficult moment on his wedding day” - Rody repeated the words he said to him at the reception, but it was different, robotic, rehearsed. As if he already saw what would happen coming.

- “Rody, I'm not an idiot, I know that's not why you're here, if you try anything right now I swear I'm going to—” Vincent went from being simply annoyed to being angry at the idea of that day being ruined (and therefore Rody no less) but he couldn't even finish his sentence.

- “or are you going to do what, Vincent? What are you going to do? Is there even anything you haven't done?”- Rody stared at him, seeing how the little color in Vincent's face disappeared at the indirect accusation.

-“Was it worth it? Did you test your hypothesis? How can you live with yourself, be happy, while someone Like HER just managed to rot in your Freezer?”-

Rody didn't raise his voice once, but he had to restrain himself from going up to Vincent and simply breaking his neck, stabbing him with the pie knife, strangling him—he held back waiting for an answer, something that would at least show him that Vincent had, even if it is, SOME regret for what he did, grief, dissatisfaction, guilt. Everything Rody was feeling all these years was because of him-

But he got nothing, not even a measly apology. Vincent just looked at him like a deer looks at the headlights of a car, he didn't move or speak. Rody knew it at that moment. He didn't feel it, or if he did, it would never be enough.

- “Rody…go away. Just Go—I've tried to be friendly because this is a happy day for me, but I just can't be calm with you around. I'll tell Chris and we'll both escort you OUT.” Vincent spoke firmly, like when he was in the kitchen, but he was clearly short of breath, and his pulse was trembling. Oh, how the tables have turned.

- “Speaking of Chris, do you think I can at least give you my wedding gift?”-

- “I Beg Your pardon?”- Vincent seemed more offended than surprised.

- “You said you would go for Chris, right? Well, put your hand in my pocket” - Rody extended the side of the pants that had the “wedding gift” a little, to make the message more explicit. He planted his feet firmly on the floor and looked Vincent in the eyes with a look that he couldn't tell, whether it was excitement or impatience. He wouldn't leave until he had seen Vincent open his gift.

Vincent simply grunted and sighed in resignation, approaching Rody and putting a hand in his pocket without giving it much thought -

–“This is ridiculous. What does what's in your pocket have to do with Chr—”- Vincent cut himself short as he felt something familiar and unusual in the texture, it was familiar. He wrapped his hand completely around it and knew right away, it was a cake knife. But that wasn't what made him freeze in place immediately and break out in a sweat as he thought about the possibilities. No.

It was the fact that the knife was wet, with a coagulating substance, something he had already felt.

Vincent took the cake knife completely out of Rody's pocket and saw his fear come true, the knife was almost completely covered in a bright red, with coagulated parts and even what Vincent could only guess were pieces of skin stuck to the edge. .

-“RODY…YOU DIDN'T DARE..”- this wasn't happening, it couldn't be happening. Rody couldn't have done what he thinks he has done...

-“Oh, not me, Vincent…You did it.”- Rody concluded with a smile.

-“EXCUSE ME—“- -“That was your weapon”- Rody spoke again, cutting him off again.

Vincent went from being incredulous to being angry at Rody's accusations, not only because he knew it was a lie, but because of the nonsense it was.

- “IT'S OUR WEDDING DAY! ALL THIS WAS BECAUSE HE WANTED IT! WHY WOULD I HURT HIM?!”- The thought that Chris could be out there severely injured or, worse and more likely, dead, not only made Vincent raise his voice in anguish, but it even made his eyes water.

-“What do I know? I'm just a witness. MAYBE you heard him say how he was thinking of leaving you. Maybe he loved someone more than you, maybe you went back to your old habits, and your huge ego couldn't handle the rejection…you had to get rid of the problem” - Rody used everything he acquired at the party, using it as ammunition not only to substantiate himself, but to see Vincent even more hurt. He knows it's not true, and it will still take him down...

-“THAT IS RIDICULOUS! I WOULD NOT KILL SOMEONE FOR SUCH A DUMB REASON!”- Vincent said frantically, both pain and anger mixing as he spoke.

-“BUT YOU DID IT VINCENT. YOU DID IT…” -

Rody looked at Vincent with an anger he had never seen in him, almost feeling an oppressive force in his chest, as if someone was squeezing his heart from the inside, but he was quickly overcome by pain.

-“I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!”-

Everything happened so quickly, Rody had to admit, if he hadn't moved in time and removed the pearl necklace, he would probably have been impaled. But at that moment the only thing he could think about after falling against a shelf was how he saw, now too slowly, how the body of Chris, the groom, collapsed from its hiding place and fell right into Vincent's lap. Stopping it in its tracks.

Vincent looked down tensely, feeling how the remaining blood began to seep and stain his clothes, with the cold body of the love of his life looking up, empty, lifeless.

The realization took a few seconds to come, and when it did, it came in the form of a powerful scream of misery, denial, and grief.

Vincent didn't even realize how bad the situation looked, very busy unable to take his eyes off his dead boyfriend, until the aforementioned's mother arrived, having been alerted by the screams.

“—what's happening—oh my god—OH MY GOD!! MY SON!—“- Chris's mother's voice was unmistakable. When Vincent tried to say something, anything, he was interrupted by a familiar scream.

-“GET AWAY, MA´AM! THAT MAN IS A PSYCHOPATH! I SAW HIM STAB CHRIS AND TRY TO HIDE THE BODY! HE TRIED TO KILL ME! GO AND GET HELP!” - Rody shouted in an “altered” manner while taking off his sack that was now stained with blood. Vincent processed his words and tried to refute as best he could.

-“DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, HE WAS THE ONE WHO—“- -“GET AWAY FROM MY SON!”- before he could even speak in his defense, Vincent was pushed away from his boyfriend's body, being held by his crying mother.

Looking up, Vincent saw how people came up and looked at him in horror, obviously buying Rody's story. How could they not? He had a Weapon and his boyfriend's blood everywhere. What should he do? what? what!?

The only thing Vincent could do at that moment was stand up (falling due to blood in the process) and run, run outside, away from prying eyes, away from his dead boyfriend and future, away from RODY.

Rody took his time getting up and adjusting his clothes, taking a moment to look at the mother of the son he murdered, feeling that unpleasant bubbling sensation in his head. He couldn't afford that now, it's too late. It's time to finish it.

_______________________________

The bloody footprints went from the groom's room to where the ceremony was going to take place, although of course, it was obvious that Vincent slipped a couple of times on the liquid (either because of the rush to get away or because of his anxiety made him clumsier), you could see prints of his hands on the floor trying to support himself, on top of a table, and the most cruelly ironic, on the sign with Chris's name, where he would sit with Vincent at the end of the ceremony.

Vincent was cornered, he had nowhere to go but outside. Everywhere he went inside people pushed him to prevent him from “escaping” or heard even more crying about how he could have done something like that, to Chris of all people. Vincent couldn't even tell who was yelling to call the police, people whispering about how Chris was planning to leave him and he must have "lost his cool," among other things.

When Vincent finally arrived outside the place, as people ran inside, he could only look ahead, unable to breathe properly, tired, shaking (from anger at the situation? from hatred towards Rody? from pain at this new feeling of loss?). Vincent walked slowly trying to catch his breath, opened his white jacket a little (now stained red) and stopped for a second on a small detail.

In the pocket of his jacket, a daisy that Chris had left him as an ornament, due to all the commotion, had shattered into pieces, without a single petal remaining.

Vincent didn't even want to look up, facing the makeshift altar Chris's family had made, with hyacyntus, he couldn't. He wouldn't want to face the reality of his current situation, yes, but worse, he wouldn't want to face the “maybes”, the “what ifs”.

He just stood there, squeezing his arms tightly around his body, his hand closed over the last detail of a destroyed life, and he muttered the same thing over and over and over again.

- “I…didn't do this…it was him”-

As people walked away from Vincent erratically, Rody took slow steps towards where he saw him run, feeling a great level of satisfaction in the progress. Was this what fulfillment felt like? the relief? Seeing this person who used to terrorize Rody years ago, who had been robbed of the love of his life and his will to live, now reduced to a tearful mess was more than gratifying, it was cathartic. He needed this, Manon needed this.

-“Vince…” - Rody's voice was the softest it had been all afternoon, but more importantly, he never thought he would use that nickname again, although now it felt more like a final blow, a last sign of familiarity. to whom now, was only a stranger.

- “Are you full?”

The last thing Vincent would see, before hearing the sirens approaching, would be a smiling, crooked, satisfied Rody, unaware, when that obnoxious happy grin slipped away for a second.

Daisis: they can mean new starts in life and are normally related to cheerfullness, purity and joy.

Hyacinths: meanwhile they Hyacinths are related to the love and pride (due to Apollo's and Hyacinthus story) the hyacinths can be tied to jealousy, they can also be a sign that you recognize you've made a mistake and you're looking for forgiveness.

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

Hope You guys enjoy this! I think it's the longest Drabble i ever Made🤯SO i hope You like it and share it❤️

[skitterplant]

ok i have.. soo many thoughts about ur fic rni usually dont read or look through content with fem yns since it (personally) makes me uncomfy, but for some reason the way u write this one makes it very easy to actually read and not feel like im being forced into the role of Woman™️ (im ftm and its really frustrating how common that feeling is with fics). this yn actually feels like her own person which actually makes reading this a lot more interesting as well. something about the way she just... is is fascinating to me

anyway- i have sooo many questions, tho mainly about the yn. i dont expect any answers at all, im just throwing these for ur entertainment to witness

wtf is going on with yn? she clearly has a motive but wutever it is i cant pinpoint it. could possibly be something to do with fazbear? at least based on how she said that "while i hate ur attitude i hate liars more". if so, then y only target the dca? y them in specific? or does she have effects all over the pizzaplex?

also something ive been thinking about was that one conversation at the end of chapter 5 between the mechanics moon overheard. i wonder if that was some form of foreshadowing? maybe something about yn? or maybe it was simply just a point where moon realizes how little he knows about humans. (tho something i will note is that its actually somewut common for kids to just randomly kill or hurt animals. often times its out of curiosity to test the limits of things. usually wut stops kids from doing it is other ppl finding out and scolding them for it, therefore teaching them it isnt something "good" to be doing)

im just. so fascinated with the yn. while her actions r absolutely frustrating and makes no sense i feel as tho theres a reason behind it other than sadistic enjoyment (bc she didnt even seem to enjoy the times when shed hurt them, just annoyed)

im absolutely hooked on this now and i dont think im escaping any time soon OTL

The fact that you've picked up my work and enjoyed it despite usually avoiding this type of MC is a big, big compliment!

I wish I could answer properly because your questions are extremely important to the plot points I'm ACHING to get into😭😭😭 Really just went and tickled every sore spot on my brain, you sly weasel :/

Just know that your thoughts made me very happy. Thank you!!!

[howlsofbloodhounds]

killer meeting reapertale chara when he is abandoned by all people he knows?? good stuff, good angst. just the idea of killer missing his chance with color, being discarded by nightmare, by death's door only to call out for help one last time. and this time, someone actually comes to help him, and it's chara.

they've both been abandoned by the gods. and now in killer's darkest hours, reapertale chara holds out a hand to him.

i think it would be interesting if reapertale chara genuinely likes killer, but still mean to him. they like core frisk enough despite core frisk being a pacifist and a person who always helps people - the total opposite of reapertale chara. would be fun if chara tries to guide killer into being their acolyte, because it isn't different from what killer has been doing.

what would killer think about it though? having a support of a godlike being is advantageous to him, but will they abandon him like others before? there would be a period where killer would constantly mistake reapertale chara as his chara. i wonder if that would trigger him into stage 3 and 4 often. i think reapertale chara would appreciate those stages of him best, though they feel it might not be good to break a valuable tool so quickly.

~ crowshipping anon

I do think the Anaomly would be rather mean to Killer too, but probably moreso in the way high school bully, annoying sibling way with a dash of ‘deities not really relating much to mortals,’ although i think that part may be something Chara learns quick not only because they were once mortal before their Corruption, but because they genuinely like Killer and want him to work with them willingly. So theyll put in the effort from the start.

I can definitely see Chara playing up their favoritism with Killer just to upset Flowey for amusement though 💀. Probably also taking every opportunity to ditch him or leave him behind, even though Flowey always just keeps catching up again.

And given that their drawn to Killer due to their shared Anaomly status, Chara would probably be just as curious in Killer as he is in them, and would probably be very curious about his soul, and eventually, possibly even his codes. How they were changed, how that affects Killer, his Stages, if it can be fixed or altered further.

I do feel like Killer would probably attack them in Stage 3, as i feel he would’ve even been willing to do with Nightmare when in this Stage. But unlike Nightmare who’d probably restrain Stage 3 or use his tentacles to force Killer back into a more desirable Stage, Chara may find it both interesting and amusing.

Perhaps they’d redirect that frenzy on to others such as Flowey, as if both making a peace offering and using Killer’s state to both bully the flower and for some amusement. As well as a chance to study killer more, as they know he has also been doing to them.

I get the vibes that this Chara would utilize Killer as both a tool and an attack dog, when it benefits them, but they aren’t exactly doing it to be malicious nor are they cruel. They do their own fair share of work, and attends to killers mortals needs.

They may struggle to find or realize what killers limits are, simply because killers limits are often pushed by others and he’s figured out how to hide signs of “weakness” such as exhaustion and hunger and they themself aren’t exactly mortal, but i feel they’d only be looking for this information just so they know when to stop and not break him.

I feel like if killer starts worrying about being abandoned again he’d probably close off, detach himself from any emotions about this situation—probably start working on autopilot even and maintaining distance. Probably not even reaching out to touch for any type of reality testing/grounding. Not to mention if he’s still struggling to come to terms with whatever may have happened with Nightmare and Color.

Perhaps that’s how the Anomaly starts trying to get closer. Comforting him in Stage 1 after horrible nightmares or whenever he starts missing home and family and friends—consistently comforting him before ST1 can even think about just ending himself again.

I can see Chara making degrading comments about Nightmare and probably eventually Killer’s Chara the more they learn about the two, saying things like how they didn’t “know what they had” and how their treatment of Killer is simply unneeded and there are better ways to go about it, etc.

[eldjester]

SOAR, The Damage Race and Damage Die

(Yes, this is inspired by @makapatag latest post, I like getting into details about what goes on in my design thoughts)

So I've ran a fair bit of games over the years, and talked about a few design thoughts with my good friend Ru. That experience has lead me to feel opinionated on some stuff or try to fix some "issues" I didn't want in my own TTRPG, namely Damage Die and the idea Damage Race is all that matters.

-Damage Die: For about a whole year, I have been running a system that uses multiple types of damage die, from d6 to d10, which are bound to its classes rather than abilities (this is Icon, if you're curious), and while i don't think it is unworkable, it made me think about a few things, namely the nature of why we roll for damage in the first place and why so many Tactical TTRPGs want to have critical hits. In most cases, I don't tend to like rolling for damage with wide possibilities, for example rolling a d8 or a d10, as those are very swingy and hard to make informed decision about, even if they fit a playstyle that's more about pushing your luck, they just don't work for me, I don't like how they control pacing, especially if rolling high on them is supposed to really hurt, it tends to make anything that surrounds them uncertain for basically everyone on the table, and for me it doesn't really do a fun surprise when you do roll good on them. Critical Hits adding more damage is also a staple of many games, and I think as time goes on i'm less of a fan of that too as it tends to be done in a way that just shines a bigger spotlight on the uncertain damage numbers of some attacks (hi "Double Damage on crit" systems !). So what I ended up doing, was just remove this idea that your damage die has to inform the damage you do related to its number. See, I'm a big fan of tables, I love random tables, I also love having some level of control over what you can expect, so I had a fun idea, what if I used a damage profile table for attacks ? So, in SOAR, when you hit (which you still need to roll to do specifically for attacks, as I like having that mechanical lever to tinker with) you roll a d6 or more if your abilities add some, and you keep the highest one, the number you roll then tells you what you'll be using as a profile for the attack, bigger means better in this case, here's an example:

Weak Hit (1-2): 2 damage, push target 1, move 1

Normal Hit (3-5): 3 damage, push target 1, move 1, push target 1

Strong Hit (6): 4 damage, push target 1, move 2, push target 1, target is dazed

Critical Hit (6,6): 5 damage, push foe 1, move 2, push foe 2, foe is dazed. A keen eye might have noticed this shares similarities with how FITD handles rolls in terms of spread (being a tiny bit more forgiving), this has allowed me to make sure I know how much damage every attack does while still having room to make the damage uncertain, you can still cheer if you roll a strong hit or a critical hit (you in fact, have a resource you can spend to upgrade a hit to its next step if you want to), as a fun added fact, this type of damage profile idea started off as something I made for a gunfight based game, and worked backward into adding to SOAR, from my, admittedly limited, testing it has sped up play a fair bit while still giving me levers to work with in terms of balance. -The Damage Race There's this really annoying feeling sometimes when you play TTRPGs Combats that not doing damage isn't ideal, you see it all the time (death is the best control my beloathed expression) even when it isn't "true". Something you learn relatively soon in TTRPG design is that even if you don't think something is true, people believing it is will still affect how they interact with it, often in a self reinforcing way, and this was something I wanted to avoid in SOAR as it would be especially prone to this, it is after all a Beat'Em All inspired TTRPG, so it was going to have people come in with that assumption regardless. So I thought, hey, what if I didn't bother trying to balance Control and Damage here ? What if i had everyone "do both" ? So that's what I ended up settling on, every Style comes with an attack, which you can use EVERY turn, and a bunch of abilities, which is where a lot of statuses and utility moves exist. Of course, it didn't come free of problems, I had to essentially make everyone have more HP to account for it, but it also made me free of a problem I was having trouble figuring out: what if someone never attacks and just deals damage through abilities which never need to hit ? The way i'm doing it now, people HAVE to care about attacks, and it also means that, with it being essentially "free", I can balance around it and make sure fights aren't static, players always have 2 shots at changing things every turn they do. Thus far in testing I think it has proven to work.

[royaltyoon]

JOHAN SEONG X READER

Hateful confessions

[A/N]

Ik I'm supposed to have deactivated this blog but I really couldn't get myself to. This isn't a promise that I'll come back but I really really missed lookism and my favorite boy. And definitely my mutuals who i apologise to, for not keeping in touch :( it's so overwhelming to post on here after like a whole year

Tw: mentions of blood/injury

"you're hurt"

"i know" he said, looking nowhere in particular

"you're bleeding." It was more of an observation rather than a statement.

"what makes you think that I wouldn't know." He said looking straight at you with both brows furrowed. "You think I would willingly come to you if I had no work for you?" He said matter-of-factly.

"you're being a bitch, Johan." You rolled your eyes, what an insufferable dumbass, you crossed your hands looking at him accusingly. "I learnt from the best." He quiped. "Are you finally admitting that I have an influence over you?" You scoff, pushing back your shoulders in pride.

He paused for a second and then sighed "you annoy me." He said shaking his head. "Well you are always free to go ask other people for help." You shrug, obviously not meaning it but that's just the way you two converse.

"if there was anyone willing to patch me up for free, trust me, i would." He said walking past you, flicking you slightly on the forehead. "I don't believe that even a little." You point at a stool indicating for him to take a seat.

"What makes you think you're that important for me to not replace you?" He huffs while taking a seat.

"take your shirt off." You order, ignoring his question. He tilts his head up to look at you for a little more than a second. "What if I say no." You couldn't believe the audacity of this dude.

"Die of blood loss then, I don't care." You spat, crossing your hands yet again. He's really testing the limits of how patient one can be. "I don't believe that even a little." He said using your words against you while using a tone which only made you want to create more damage than repair to him.

"what reason could there possibly be that I won't let you die for being so insufferable right now?" He only shrugs at it, "the same reason you think I wouldn't replace you with someone else." You knew he was aiming in the dark and yet he hit Bullseye.

Through gritted teeth and the most sarcastic voice you could manage to bring out , " Please take your shirt off, your highness." Words left your mouth sounding like venom but he smiled as if poison has no effect on him.

He just huffed a satisfied response while zipping down his jumper. You inhale sharply "How can you act like a total piece of shit with an injury like that. Do you have a death wish? A little more time spent and you'd have actually bled to death." You said looking at the narly gash at the side of his abdomen.

"Is that concern i suspect in your voice?" He asks halfheartedly. "Johan, if your life is in my hands you know that I can make it worse right?" You glare at him but let it slide, kneeling down in front of him paying more attention to the injury than the man who has it.

You feel his gaze on you. "What?" You asked still tending to the injury. He shakes his head looking away. "I liked you better in the beginning when you didn't say much. You talk a lot now. It's annoying" He said it in a monotonous voice, absolutely expressionless. For that, you not so discreetly pushed a little too hard on his cut, causing him to grunt.

"you did that on purpose, didn't you?" He hisses. Of course you did. "i have no idea what you're talking about" you just smiled at him. "I prefer you back in the beginning too, i thought the worst you could do is death glares but then you opened your mouth and that was a whole 'nother type of hell." He chuckles at that, throwing his head back slightly. You notice a small cut of his forehead.

"I would normally not take it nicely if anyone else said something like that, you were always so full of yourself. I wonder why I don't feel the need to be angry at it with you." He said a little in thought. Making an observation on himself. "Don't get too comfortable" you raised one side of your lip into a smirk. "I can be a whole lot annoying. Stick around more and you'll find out." You say finally patching up the cut on his side. It was not as bad as it looked. "I plan on it." He mumbles but he speaks before you can make sense of it.

"i can be a whole lot more insufferable" he said challengingly. At times it feels like everything with him is a competition. At that you just shake your head slightly, reaching to push his hair back.

He flinches and moves a little back, catching your wrist before you could reach his hair. "what are you doing?" He says looking at you, now slightly closer than before.

"You have a cut on your forehead." He looked at you for a few seconds before turning his eyes elsewhere and dropping his hand down. He refused to meet your eyes after that. You bend a little to get a better view on the cut. It didn't go unnoticed by you the way he was clenching his jaw. He never really liked anyone breaching his personal space, that was the only conclusion you came to.

"Have you not gone for a hair cut recently?" He knew you were secretly asking if he visited his mom. "No." The answer came a little too quickly. "You should go get one. I know how important a haircut is for you." You angled his face to look at yours.

It was quiet for a few seconds. He looked at your eyes, holding your gaze "I hate how you know so much about me. And I hate myself that I don't regret telling it to you." You smiled, it was genuine this time. You turned to keep the first aid box on the table. "I could say the same."

A voice of the stool against the floor was heard, indicating he stood up. "I hate a lot of things." He said taking a step towards you. "I hate how I have to ask you for help." Another step. " I don't min- "I hate that sometimes during a fight I let a few punches hit me because it means I get to come here. " Another step closer.

"I hate that I want to hear you speak, I want you to annoy me. I hate that I don't feel like hating you. I hate that I can't get rid of you, I hate that I don't want to get rid of you." He was just a few inches away from you.

"i hate that I used to consider you a friend. Now I hate that you're just a friend." His index finger reaches your chin pushing it up to look at him. "I want to say I hate you, but I can't and I hate myself for that." His hand slid under your ear. "And I will probably hate myself more after this." And his lips landed on yours.

It took you a second to register it all before you reciprocated the action, pulling him closer by his shirt. He moaned against your lips as a reaction and slightly pushed you against the table, leaning against it.

"God, how much I hate that I let myself not hate you."

"just because you don't hate me anymore doesn't mean I don't hate you. I do." You tried hiding your red face behind the facade of hating him.

Johan just scoffed, "I don't believe that even a little."

[ploo-toe]

The Crow and The Mourning Dove: CH 2

SCP-049 x SCP!Reader

Series tags/warnings(18+): fem!reader, slowburn, (eventual)smut, horror, gore/violence, death, unethical experiments, dark, mentions of past trauma, happy ending

Chapter Summary: “The Chem. Department has a new lavender sedative mix they want to test out, so we’re moving it to a separate testing chamber.  During that time, maintenance will come in for a routine inspection of all the locking mechanisms in 049’s cell.  You’re there to ensure everything runs smoothly.”

 ___________________________________________

Almost a month had gone by, and while 049’s insight had been helpful, progress with 9528 was slow.  The scp was wary; reluctant to let its guard down.  Though, on rare occasion, it would be comfortable enough to drop its facade, even if only for a brief moment.

While Y/n didn’t completely trust Dr.Leeward, she could recognize that he was somewhat of an oddity.  He deviated from the other foundation staff.  Where others were callous and barbaric,  he was softened.  He couldn’t deny his compassionate nature.  It’s why he didn’t push when she was unwilling to share certain details, encouraging her to answer only what she felt comfortable with.  Even if deep down, Y/n knew that he still only thought of her as a thing. Not a she, but an it.  Still, he was better than most.

“Ok, so we went over the things you like.  What about dislikes?  Anything that upsets or annoys you, possibly even things that you’re afraid of?”  Dr.Leeward sat across from her, encouraging her to go at her own pace. It was refreshing, his patience.

“...I’m not overly fond of fire.”  

“Fire?”  It was clearly an answer he wasn’t expecting.  A centuries old being, responsible for the slaughter of hundreds, if not thousands, afraid of fire?

“Yes, that’s correct.”

“May I ask why?”

While there were some things Y/n was willing to disclose, others were deemed far too personal.

“There was an incident in the past that led to a certain… avoir les pétoches… aversion.”  Y/n muttered under her breath, trying to find the words.  While she was fluent enough in the King’s English, she found its expressiveness quite limiting.

“I see…” Leeward spoke as he finished up his notes “Well I’ll leave it at that for today, and we’ll pick up again next week.  Is there anything you want to speak of before the end of the session?”

“No Doctor, that will be all.”

He nodded, gathering his things and exiting the cell.

Y/n remained at the table, simply staring ahead at nothing.  To the camera’s she appeared almost bored.  But for a brief moment, she was back there.  She could see the flames surrounding her, feel them eating away at her skin. She blinked it away as quickly as it had come.  She got up slowly, making her way over to her bed and getting as comfortable as it allowed.  Perhaps some rest would do her good.

Leeward made his way down the hall towards his office, nodding to a group of guards on his way, before The Director flagged him down.

“We’ve really got to stop meeting like this, Adam.”  Director Novak joked. Tell me about it. Leeward bit his tongue.  “I need you to assist in the movement of SCP-049 today.”  Movement?

“Why are we moving 049?”  He racked his brain, trying to think of whatever reason there might be for such a high clearance task.

“The Chem. Department has a new lavender sedative mix they want to test out, so we’re moving it to a separate testing chamber.  During that time, maintenance will come in for a routine inspection of all the locking mechanisms in 049’s cell.  You’re there to ensure everything runs smoothly.”  Novak’s cold stare bore holes into Leeward’s skull.  He wanted Leeward there to keep 049 docile.  Meeting the director's gaze, it was clear as day.  He knew the risks that came with moving 049, he just didn't care.  Leeward swallowed down the lump in his throat, knowing it was better not to question Novak’s judgment, and followed him to 049’s containment cell.  

Leeward went into the cell first, told by the director that he was to obtain 049’s full cooperation.

“Hello 049.”

“Doctor, I was unaware that we had any meetings today.”  049 stood cordially, halting its previous task of writing in its journal.

“No, we don’t, I’m here sent by the director to prepare you for testing.  He asked that I come in first to make sure you’re cooperative.”  Leeward spoke with thought out words, careful not to provoke the scp.

“Ah, yes.  I have my work as you have yours.  I am willing to see through your tests.”

He was relieved that 049 seemed to be in a good mood today. The last thing he wanted was for this to go poorly.

Leeward signaled for the guards to come in, stepping back as they attached its restraints.  Two held onto its chains, pulling it forward, while the remaining 4 had their rifles fixed on it.  They slowly began making their way out of the cell, leading it down the hall.  Director Novak stood stiffly, staring down 049 with a shark-like gaze.  The teams movements were slow and calculated. While the facility guards may have been lacking in certain social aspects, they knew the tactical precision necessary, and the weight any mistakes would carry.

They had just barely made it to the first turn before they heard it, down the hall behind them.

A gut wrenching scream bounced off the walls, laced with pure terror.  What the hell was that!?

049 halted, posture stiff and eyes wide.  

“...Y/n?”

[cosmic-walkers]

I really love how you focus solely on the queer subtext between the characters, and how you're able to make a lot of out of what little we get between Thomas and his interaction with certain men in Wolf Hall. I didn't realize just how much he and Stephen interacted before you started posting it, even though I read the entire series. I enjoy seeing how you're able to tie that together.

I like your take on Stephen and religious guilt. In the book at least he didn't want to be a priest, but it makes sense he's covet Catholicism because he was forced into it and it's all he knows. And now here comes Thomas poking holes in his safety net lol. And now he's wondering if he should've been in the religion to begin with.

YESSS to everything you've said omg.

Honestly, my favorite things to do - especially in period-centric literature and pieces - is to seek out queer themes in the context of times, religion, etc. Obviously, you know me I'm mostly writing Henry and Thomas, but there is also something so realistic about the way the relationship between Stephen and Thomas is portrayed at the beginning that really gives me subtle hints of the possibility of a relationship, love, etc. The way Thomas acts around Stephen is a way he only acts around people he is comfortable with; he doesn't erect any walls. He teases Stephen, tries to annoy him, tests his limits, etc. And as angry as Stephen gets, you can tell there is a part of him that enjoys their banter. Like around Henry and the other Lords and Nobles, Thomas does keep up a certain persona. He is kept to himself, respectful, of course he goads them and doesn't back down, but there is certainly a level of respect.

With Stephen, it goes out of the window. He doesn't actually address him in the way he's supposed to (he isn't just a random priest, he is the Bishop of Winchester T-T), he calls him by his first or last name, and he is just so casual around him. he jokes around him, etc. at first you can chalk it up to the fact that he doesn't think he owes Stephen respect but then, the way he interacts and lets loose around him, he does see Stephen as friend or at the very least an aquaitnece.

And then Stephen indulges; he lets Thomas be around him, he lets Thomas talk to him and address him in rather casual ways. One of my favorite parts was the scene in the book where he was organizing Stephen's stuff for him and made a comment about his parent's love letters; stephen being a bastard is trait of shame for him, but he was actually calm and friendly with Thomas despite that joke.

I think there was a mutual truce between the two *until* Stephen was sent away to France. Anything that could have come between them or any development was essentially ruined.

But before that (and you know even after wrt to our fix-it aus), there is certainly something there. When I write or think about these two and the fact that Stephen falls in love with Thomas, there is a lot of Catholic guilt because first of all, he is a Bishop and Thomas is what he deems to be THEE heretic, but then at the other end there is the sense of duty. As a bastard, Stephen was more or less pushed into this life where he had to sacrifice the life he could have possibly wanted in order to appease all sides. This position later on granted him power but as we read earlier in the book--he isn't happy to begin with. I think falling in love with Thomas Thee Heratic probably makes things difficult because aside from Catholic guilt, it makes him question if this is the life he could've had if he had a choice. If he would've been happy, if he even wouldn't been a staunch Catholic, and if things were different would he have been with Thomas and been happy? BASICALLY, everything you just said.

I think Thomas scares Stephen (when looking through a QUEER subtext) because he threatens everything Stephen knows about himself, and everything he was forced to believe.

That's what makes them good---

[theweirderstuffblogdontlook]

A short one shot fic about Bob’s disguise as Barbra.

Check it out under the readmore.

Alright, moment of truth. Time to see if all the practice and costume tweaking would pay off.

While the possession amulets were extremely handy for going out in public without anyone getting suspicious. 

Since when Bob hid inside her, he was totally hidden from the world. And when she was hidden in Bob, so long as no one saw them switch, their association with each other would be similarly hidden.

It had been getting increasingly clear that this "only one of them existing at a time" thing was not without its own inconveniences. 

In particular, feeding into Bobs cabin fever. 

Cabin fever makes him want to go out more. 

And going out more means more cannibal serial killing.

She doesn't have access to drugs or jail bars to hold him. Her capacity to protect people from him is painfully limited.

So she's been trying to get creative with the damage control.

So came the idea for Barbra.

And the disguise has been made, and the acting has been practiced. The backstory, hopefully memorized.

Now all that was left was a test run.

They parked the truck in front of a small, nowhere sort of bar. Place where there shouldn't be many people, generally a bit more rough and tumble group without super easy targets, and especially no kids that could get caught in the crossfire.

Though her mind and nerves were still buzzing with everything that could go wrong.

"Alright, tell me again the number one rule of this whole scheme."

Bob rolled his eyes from under his sunglasses, but was more amused at her stressing out than annoyed.

"Don't try huntin or hurtin people while playin Barbra."

"Right. If you act suspicious as Barbra, it puts both of us at risk, because people can use me to track down the house to catch us unawares. Then we're either in prison or on the run with no money. Or possibly dead if someone tracks us down who doesn't care to take you in alive."

They start walking towards the bar as she continues.

"So remember, you're Barbra Freeman, a butch lesbian truck driver, but you got in a car accident awhile ago, and had been recovering for a few months. You're wearing sunglasses even while indoors cus the accident left you with a light sensitivity. Just, smalltalk, and not being suspicious."

"Sugarcube, I spent years playin innocent with nobody suspecting a thing. I know how to play nice."

"Yeah and that was awhile ago and you're clearly years out of practice, because in all the time I've known you, you've just been a deeply weird and unsettling person.

Also you're in public in costume Barb, Use the Barbra voice, don't break character."

Already she was losing confidence in Bob's ability to follow the plan. Though Bob, if anything, seemed overconfident. He switches up his tone to a more feminine sounding one, snaking an arm over her shoulders and teasing.

"Right, I'm supposed to be your hot piece of arm candy today. Well, I wouldn't want to deprive ya of a bit of extra time alone with your girlfriend."

She had liked how he hadn't had any problem with disguising himself as a woman. After all it'd be a pretty big insult to write off your whole gender as something gross and embarrassing. Though him being a bit too into it is something her asexual antisocial ass doesn't really know what to do with. 

Least beyond getting embarrassed by it. Which in turn gets a chuckle out of Bob. 

They head in, and Bob confidently goes to take a seat at the bar, while she takes a moment to nervously scope the place out. There were a few people, not too crowded, not to empty. And they don't seem to be turning many heads.

Before going and taking a seat next to him.

Where Bob puts his arm back around her to mumbles in her ear.

"Loosen up honeymuffin, or you'll be the one making us look suspicious."

Yeah, he's right. They're supposed to at least be friends. Even in a relationship in order to explain away if Bob gets too affectionate. 

She tries taking a deep breath and calming down.

Just order something nonalcoholic and chill for awhile. Try to make some small talk. 

Despite how terrible she is at small talk in general.

Though Bob was already well aware of her not being the chatty sort. So he takes more the lead for talking with the bartender, and with her.

Though really that more ends up with him teasing her while she tries not to look too embarrassed.

At least Bob could do a pretty convincing imitation of a tough middle aged southern woman though. 

Still a relatively deep voice, but not so overt that it couldn't be passed off as "Barbra" having just being a big woman who used to smoke.

She had the feeling he'd gotten some first hand experience learning a number of nuances, and was probably doing an impression of female relatives or family friends or something from his past. 

Probably from where he'd gotten his own accent, but she didn't like to pry. 

And if she did, now wouldn't be the time for it.

Her head was still on a swivel, despite her attempts to keep it casual. It was hard not to be paranoid. Too many things that could go wrong. Bob was keeping up a conversation with the bartender, so might be a good time to stretch her legs a bit.

"I'll be right back, don't get too crazy without me Barb."

"Heh, you got it darlin."

She went to the back, and thankfully the women's bathroom was empty, so she took a moment to try and calm her nerves and catch her breath. 

It's one thing to be around Bob, worrying what he might do. But it was another to put on a cheerful facade on top of that, instead of being her usual irritable self.

She really didn't want to go back out there, and her mood is only worsened as she mentally scolds herself for her hesitancy.

It's unpleasant, but this is the better of her options. The longer she can keep Bob busy the less time he'll have for killing.

Come on.

Get back out there. 

You have to supervise the serial killer. This is your idea he's going along with. 

Just gotta have him keep his word. Shouldn't be that hard.

And even if it is, no amount of discomfort is worth an innocent persons life.

Suck it up.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror and tried smiling. It didn't last long before her face quickly sunk 

"Uggh, this is what I get for not putting any effort in with those customer service jobs when I had the chance."

Maybe she can still keep attention away from Bob and not clue people in that she's basically a hostage, while still acting like a miserable unpleasant person who'd rather eat gravel than chit-chat about the weather or the news or some shit.

She leaves the bathroom. 

“!!!!” Shit!! Someone's gone to sit with Bob! Looks like some kind of biker guy, on the big and tall side, kinda weathered looking. The kind of guy who could probably take care of himself. Her panic spikes nonetheless. 

Ok, calm down, he's out in public, he's gonna talk to some people. It's expected. Doesn't mean the worst is gonna happen yet. 

Sure he can always just overpower her if he decides to change his mind and not go along with the plan. But that hasn't happened yet.

She goes to sit down at the bar, on the other side of Bob, not interrupting his conversation with the biker guy. Just quietly listening. Supervising.

And…. Dang this dude really is just outright flirting with Bob. Guy must be into large women. 

And Bobs rolling with it. Just liking the attention and teasing the biker guy back.

Well, it's better than Bob getting offended, and he's having fun with it, so this is probably fine so long as it doesn't go anywhere. 

And she expects that this is a pretty solid bit of evidence that the Barbra disguise is working. So guess the experiment is a success. They could probably be seen in more crowded locations without people recognizing Bob.

Get him out wasting time doing random stuff so he's too busy to stalk victims.

Uggh, this means she'll have to get out of the house more to do random stuff too and - HOLY SHIT BIKER GUY JUST ASKED BOB OUT.

She'll have to mourn the loss of her weird hermit life later, because NO WAY IS SHE LETTING BOB TAKE THIS GUY TO NO SECONDARY LOCATION!!!!

Shit! How the heck is she supposed to play this off??? Uuuuuuuggghhhh this is gonna be so embarrassing. 

She puts on a pissed off face and threatens.

"Excuse me pal, that's my girlfriend you're hitting on, and believe fucking me, this…"

She gestures up and down at Bob.

"This lady right here is a lot more than you're prepared to deal with. Come on Barbra."

She grabs Bob by the hand and starts tugging him towards the door, to which Bob smiles and lets himself be led out, while the biker guy just looks kinda flabbergasted at what just happened as they quickly leave the bar.

She walks for a moment, heading towards the truck, still holding onto Bobs hand. 

Before Bob interrupts her anxious mood, saying in his normal voice, though with an additional low suggestive tone layered on, rather than his Barbra affect.

"Yuh know, I think I like you gettin jealous over me for a change."

Her face goes red. And she lets go of Bobs hand.

"Shut up Barb, it's not jealousy and you know it. I just didn’t want you hurting that man."

Bob grabs her hand again to pull her into a hug.

"Fightin over me for other reasons ain't half bad either."