#I really should have put that angst tag up there sooner lol

[ser-estinien]

Chapters: 5/8 Fandom: Persona 5 Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Kurusu Akira & Persona 5 Protagonist's Parents Characters: Kurusu Akira, Persona 5 Protagonist's Parents, Akechi Goro, Original Male Character(s), Original Female Character(s), Takamaki Ann Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Slow Burn, Relationship Avoidance, dating but also definitely not dating, parental pressure, Strict Parents, controlling parents, Abusive Parents, disappointing your parents, Character Study, Suicidal Thoughts, Jealousy, dating women to placate your mother, Physical Abuse, Blood and Injury, violent imagery, injury descriptions, Arguments, Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, But Akira is feeling some sort of way, Outing, homophobic parents, Persona 5 Protagonist Has Bad Parents, Drunkenness, kissing when you shouldn't, Slut Shaming, Guilt, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, Angst Summary:

Akira Kurusu is a good son with esteemed accomplishments under his belt, but they're never enough for his parents. Stuck between wanting his parents' approval and detesting it, he feels locked in a cycle of unhappiness, unable to pursue the things he really wants. Enter: Goro Akechi. After six years apart, seeing his former rival stokes a fire in Akira that he thought he let die out. The only problem? Akechi wants nothing to do with him. Despite that, something keeps drawing them back together. Unfortunately for Akira, Akechi has no interest in someone who's stagnant and dissatisfied in life. Will Akira chase the aspirations he thought were out of reach or will he crumble under the pressure of his parents and follow the path they've neatly placed before him?

[steviewashere]

For the kiss prompt....Steddie and 40 please because I saw it and had a burning need for it!

❤️❤️

Okay, this one is far less angsty (I'm hoping) than yesterday's, lol. But I appreciate this prompt a lot. <3

Number 40: "Because the world is ending."

Tags: Season 4, Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, First Kiss, Slight Love Confession, Steve Harrington has a Bisexual Awakening, Steve Harrington Loves Eddie Munson, Eddie Lives, Last Minute Promises, Protective Steve Harrington

💕—————💕 There was a weight in the way Eddie’s vest laid on Steve’s back. Something that nailed him to the floor, kept him under the clouds but above ground, that anchored him to existence. It provided a sense of security that Steve hadn’t felt in…three or more years.

But there was something about Eddie’s gaze, too, that provided that same amount of comfort. Just one glimpse, one stupid little sentence about lost loves, one panicked nervous fit of laughter—it was enough to make something inside Steve squirm. The same thing he kept away in his own Pandora’s box, deep inside the crevice of his chest behind sinew. It’s where Tommy existed at one point, maybe a few other boys from elementary school. He knew what it was, the pull in Eddie’s gaze. Or, really, the magnetism that Eddie’s eyes held.

It made Steve want to stare back. Made him want to stop the world’s rotation. Made him want to find a way to reverse time, prevent all the evils of his life, find Eddie sooner. He wanted Eddie the same way mosquitos yearn for amber light. Icarus to the sun. Something strong, invasive, all consuming.

Love, he realized. He wanted love from Eddie.

Which makes it all worse when they’re going over game plans. Eddie going with Dustin. Dustin going with Eddie. Nancy and Robin going with him to the Creel house. Max and Lucas and Erica being all too far. There was that pull. A protective surge. Flames in his veins.

It was all so stupid. So careless. Everything they chose to do. The way Eddie knew about some gun store. How his body read nonchalance, but the way his hands shook when pointing out what kind of weapons they could find there. Steve wanted to reach down and wrap his own hands around Eddie’s, squeeze them still, bring his knuckles to between his eyebrows. Do something silly. Like kiss them or kiss Eddie or carve a spot behind his ribs and force Eddie inside of there.

That magnetic pull is back full force once they’re right side up in the Upside Down. Dustin’s a whole four inches shorter than Eddie. Covered in scrap and a hood. And he looks childish, dorky, how he should have been the last several years. Yet there’s a matured gleam to his eyes that haunts Steve, even as he stares it down. And when he glances to Eddie, looking reasonably the same—immature and dorky—green vest that isn’t zipped up, DIY’d leather jacket, ammo belt, and a pair of ill-fitting shiny boots. Steve can only wonder what it would be like to see Eddie not here, not in these circumstances, in his usual appearance. How more…beautiful he’d be if he weren’t so damned afraid.

If Eddie weren’t staring at Steve with something like goodbye. He forces himself to turn away, to stop looking, to stop wanting when there’s no sure presence of tomorrow. It’s like he’s being gifted a litter of kittens, being told not to get attached. Except, he’s already come up with names and collar colors and places where he could put beds. He’s got an idea of where Eddie would be soft if Steve could touch his skin. What nicknames would make him flush and what petnames would make him melt. Steve doesn’t want to be attached, but at the same time, he doesn’t think he ever had the choice.

“Hey, Steve?” Eddie calls to him.

A crunching step forward. Steve forces himself frozen to his spot. His back tenses, shoulders hiking, the axe on his back brushes his hair. It’s cold, the metal is solid and real and sharp. His hands are shaking and his eyes are burning and there’s an iron grip around his lungs. Stomach turning and lurching and falling straight to his feet. He doesn’t turn, not yet. Not with the stern and sudden confidence to Eddie’s voice. Don’t get attached, he’s not yours to keep, a voice echoes deep inside him. I want him. I want him, though, that’s not fair, and that’s the petulant part of him. Something he thought he lost when he knocked on Jonathan Byers’s door.

He expects Eddie to continue, but he doesn’t. The rush of blood is loud in Steve’s ears. There’s no other voices. No other sounds. He’d think that the demo-creatures would’ve sounded off by now, but there’s nothing. The weight of everything, he realizes, is behind him.

Over his shoulder, Eddie’s eyes are fierce. No longer pulling on Steve’s arm, rather squeezing him tight by the shoulders, hauling him into his orbit, pressing their bodies and souls tight. Steve is startled and stirring and flippant. He shouldn’t leave. Doesn’t want to. Not when Eddie is…Eddie is what he wants.

And while his eyes are fierce, they are checking out. Somewhere else. And yet, they’re here. For Steve to fall into. And for him to cradle the sure absence Eddie is preparing to make.

“Make him pay,” Eddie’s voice demands. It’s neutral, neither loud and overbearing nor soft and assuring. His voice is a grenade, ring pulled but hammer still intact. Steve wants to pick it up and place it inside his chest. Wants to obliterate at the impact and sound.

He swallows. Wavers. Nods. And turns away.

But he doesn’t take a first step. He just stands, caught between worlds and passions and full body aches. A shiver crawling up his spine and into the back of his mouth. He swears he tastes it, decay. Something leaving and rotting, just as Eddie’s footsteps begin to retreat. To dissipate. Steve doesn’t want to forget the sound.

Without much on his mind, without any preamble or warning, Steve whirls back around. Stomps inside Eddie’s dusty footprints. Their shoes aligning to one another, the same size. His eyes burn lasers into Eddie’s back, but neither of them stop moving. It’s not until Steve is nearly at the front door to the Munson’s trailer that he’s able to grasp to something. His left hand wraps around Eddie’s right forearm. Gripping with the force of hippopotamus jaws. And he tugs Eddie to him. To face him.

Eddie’s eyes look to him in trepidation. There’s something else, like he’s realizing he’s been caught. An apology forming on the tip of his tongue. Before he can part his lips to say anything, Steve takes his right hand and forces his fingernails to indent into Eddie’s cheeks, squishing his lips to be slightly puckered, and drags him towards his face.

Their noses meet first. Soft and tantalizing. Breathing the same air. Steve, for a moment, can smell Eddie’s breath. And he doesn’t care, that neither of them have brushed their teeth in several days. That they’re tasting each other’s rot and stale words. He doesn’t care.

Slowly, he leans the rest of the way in. Pressing his lips to Eddie’s softly. Just soaking in their warmth. How dry and chapped and splitting they are. Pushes in more firmly, fluttering his eyes shut at the sensation. Breathing in gulps through his nose. Messy and wet on Eddie’s lips, but all the same a: ‘The world is ending, so nothing matters, but you matter and my world will end otherwise.’

And when he pulls his head back, he notices that Eddie wasn’t responsive at all. He wasn’t, but Steve doesn’t feel rejected, for once. Or negated. Or pulled taut and snapped in half. His chest glows with a low-level warmth, radiating between them like a candle’s near-dying flame. He digs his fingernails out of Eddie’s skin and cups his cheeks instead. Like protecting that little bit of light melting away at them. He opens his eyes, met with bewilderment and silence and fear and curiosity and…yearning. But also, there’s something shining back on Eddie’s face like a dream has just come true.

Steve takes a sharp, quick inhale. Whispers, “Don’t be a hero.” He’s already said it, he knows that. But…Eddie was never going to listen and he should’ve known that from the get-go. “Don’t be stupid,” he continues, “and you come back here. Come back to me.”

“Wha—“

“Come back to me,” Steve urges. “I want to know you. And I want to have you. I want to…I want to need you all the time, you understand me? Come back to me, all in one piece, away from danger. Or else I will kill you myself.” He nods once. Swipes his thumb over Eddie’s still jutting bottom lip. “Promise,” he demands lowly, “promise I can see you again.”

Eddie’s gulp is loud between them. His breath puffing hot and cold over Steve’s fingers. But his voice has lost all ferocity. Going soft and controlled and loving. “I promise, Stevie,” he murmurs, “I promise I’ll find you back here.”

Steve nods one more time. Short and affirmative and final. He draws his hands away. Zips up Eddie's vest. And brings them back to being limp at his sides. The very foundation of his being shakes. “Good. And I like that. I like that name, Eds. Call me that again, promise.”

“Promise,” Eddie echoes.

“Not a goodbye,” Steve feels the need to say.

“Just a see you later,” Eddie states. And there’s an honest tone to him that settles all the frayed nerve endings inside of Steve. Before he gets the chance to turn back, Eddie gently cradles his face in turn. He presses a chaste kiss to the corner of Steve’s mouth. “Just for luck,” he murmurs, “be safe.”

There’s a weight in those words, too. Steve tethers to them.

And they ring out at the final blow to Vecna, as the flames engulf on all sides of the house. When they return to one another and all that’s wrong is a splash of ugly dark blood on Eddie’s cheek.

They’re safe. The world will always end, but they’re safe.

💕—————💕 Kiss Ask Game <3

[cookiesupplier]

Every Rose Has It's Thorns - Part Fifteen

pairing: Ricky Olson x ofc x Chris 'Motionless' Cerulli

warnings/tropes: slow burn, soulmates, strangers to enemies to lovers, betrayal, angst, fluff, smut, language, panic attack, stalking,

summary: In a world where soulmates inexplicably receive a tattoo that will match that of their soulmate the moment they turn eighteen years old, being famous and covered in very visible tattoos can make finding your true soulmate a questionable fate. For everyone involved.

author’s note: Unbeta'd, readers beware as always lol.

tags: @tearfallpixie @cncohshit @jordynyingling0219 @faceless-mirror @nyxthedestroyerofworlds @wild-child-7747 @witchyweeb34 @black-damask1999 @jilliemiw86 @ilovesamkiszka @lyschko666 @lacktoesandtoddlerants @bngurngheart @collapsedglasshouses @laurpartyprogram

Ricky didn’t drive straight home, no, he just drove, it was probably stupid but he did, he just drove, half freaking out. Thankfully, breathing deeply, he was calm, he was fine, he wasn’t having another attack, no. But did he sit there thinking about the way that Ava had talked to him last time, did he sit there and think of her talking him through grounding himself with his senses, five, four, three, two, one... He didn’t have coffee or tea for one this time... He had gum... So that worked well enough.

Did Ava’s voice suspiciously sound like Talia’s? No comment on that. If it did, it was because of her reasoning that Talia was the one who taught her, he’d blame that, easily done.

Finally, it was when he remembered that he had groceries in his car, food that he needed to get home, some of it needing to go in the fridge, and he soon turned around and drove home. He was being an idiot. At least now he was a calmer idiot.

Shit.

None of this made him feel good, none of this made sense. He didn’t even want to go home.

Finally pulling into his drive though, he swallowed heavily when he saw the other car that was waiting for him there, the person that was waiting for him on the stoop. Double shit. He was screwing up so badly, and now he was probably about to get his ass handed to him by Chris. He didn’t even want to imagine why he was there, but he could guess, the fact he was right now was too coincidental. Sighing, he killed the engine before he got out of his car and moved to start getting his cold groceries out of the trunk. The bags had been waiting long enough, and the sooner he put them away, the less likely anything inside would spoil.

He was lifting bags from his car when Chris was coming up beside him, wordlessly grabbing a couple to help him carry inside as well, of course, he was doing it without being asked, Ricky sighed, damn it, he couldn’t even be annoyed at him when he did that. Couldn’t today he just be a little bit selfish and tell him he was a fucking idiot and walk away and let him deal with his stupidity as he should? Like he really should! No. Course not. It had been a week since the party, and Chris had been waiting for him to do something, and he hadn’t... Well, he had, he’d just fucked it up, at the party.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

Between them, he got his groceries inside, and everything was put away, and hopefully, everything that was cold was away before anything had been out of the cool long enough to be affected. Considering it wasn’t too hot out, he thought he might have gotten away with it.

Once it was all done. Rick made himself a coffee, considering he hadn’t gone into the café earlier, offering to make Chris one despite seeing him inside the café.. Met with an eye roll as if Chris didn’t know that Ricky had seen him there, drinking his own coffee already.

“You know I’ve just had coffee with Talia, Rick, don’t play games.. What the fuck, man.. I saw the look on your face.”

Ricky shifted uncomfortably, lifting his mug to busy himself with a scalding mouthful of the beverage, swallowing with a grimace,

“I don’t know what to tell you, I just, I reacted. I freaked, and when I realised what was happening, I got the hell out of there. I don’t know what's happening to me.”

Chris frowned, rolling his shoulder, that didn’t sound like like Rick at all, and it worried him, he wanted to be angry because Ricky was just completely disregarding everything everyone was trying to do to help him, every little bit of advice he was being given. Not to mention talking to Talia, spending time with Talia, she was wonderful, and Ricky, was hiding away like some fucking little goblin, for what?

“Rick, I’ll say again, what, the fuck.”

Ricky looked at Chris, he can’t do it, he can’t keep it in, he can’t lie..

“Something happened, at the party, and I, I fucked up Chris, I fucked up bad, and she, we-”

He sighed, heavily, leaning back against the breakfast bar that separated his kitchen and his living room he set his coffee down while

“We had sex.”

“Wait, at the party, at my parent's house... When? Where? You know what, don’t tell me, I don’t want to know.”

Chris’ confusion was obvious by his rapid words, and the questions, looking at Ricky, Chris could probably figure it out, he’d spent enough time in that house, he’d grown up in that house. He’d hooked up with enough of his partners growing up in that house himself, so honestly, yeah, he could figure it out, didn’t mean he wanted to. The real confusion came with the fact that he’d been having coffee with Talia for the last few days, and she hadn’t said anything about talking to Ricky, about having anything to do with him, which made him think that that interaction and it was not sitting well with him as the reality was sinking in what had happened.

“Let me guess, it didn’t end well. You two fucked, and then you what, ran, or blew her off, or something.”

Rick looked away, his stomach in knots with how easily Chris hit the nail on the head, his voice taking that tone he knew well, and the look in his eyes though, it burned there, as much as Chris was an easygoing guy, there was anger in him when it came to respecting women, and Rick could tell that he was pissed, pissed on behalf of Talia and Rick knew it, and he didn’t blame him. He’d been a fucking asshole just walking away from her like that, no matter what had happened between them. Seeing the two together, it was so clear they’d struck up a friendship, and Rick tried desperately not to think about the sting of how easy it had looked for the two of them together. How happy they had been. The pain in his neck however wasn’t as bad as when he saw it right in front of him.

“Something like that, yeah, I just, I told her it would never happen again, and left her there.”

No, he wasn’t going to say anything about how his soulmate tattoo had been affecting him ever since, how seeing her with Chris had made it flare up when he’d gotten angry, that he just, no, he didn’t tell him that. It sounded insane, more insane than hooking up with her randomly in the guest bathroom of one of his best friend's parents' houses.

Chris looked at him, his face was stone and yeah, he was pissed at Rick, he was his best friend, and dammit, he was completely fucking up with an amazing woman, and if she wasn’t Ricky’s soulmate, he might for the first time in a long time, actually consider dating again. He let out an aggravated sigh, standing straighter, he just left her there. For the love of… that explained why Ava had been so disheartened when Talia had gone home early, feeling sick. Feeling sick, his ass. Made more sense now. Looking at the way Rick was sitting at the dining table, Chris nodded, standing from the table himself,

“Stand up, now.”

“What?”

“Fucking hell Ricky, you either stand up and take me punching you like the fucking asshole you're acting like, or I get Ava on the phone and she-”

Ricky had his mug of coffee down on the counter and standing straight waiting for the punch even before Chris pointed out that the younger man would probably end up castrated before the end of the day. They both knew it, neither of them even wanted to think about it, mess with Talia, and Ava would fuck you over, and Chris, hearing some of the things Talia said, he knew it went both ways.

He flinched when Chris picked up his fist, which just made the crunch when the punch connected to his cheek hurt even more.

“Fuck, Chris! Shit, man.”

The taller man just shrugged, shaking out his hand and stretching his fingers, it was better than hitting out of anger, getting into a fight out of anger, and it could get bad, he was well aware. Chris didn’t want to go down that path, least of all with Ricky, as much of a shit he was acting like, he cared about him too much, he loved him, he was just so fucking out of his head right now.

“You deserved it. Now. Richard Olson, you’re going to listen to me this time, I don’t care if it's in person, or over the damn phone, but you are going to have a civil conversation with that woman. Talk to her. A real conversation, Rick, not just fucking, no matter the temptation.”

This time he didn’t care if Ricky liked him telling him this, he hadn’t liked his suggestions before, but this time, this time he was pushing it, it was getting ridiculous, sex in his parent's house, during the barbecue, really Rick? Not that Talia was bad-looking, if she wasn’t Rick’s- no, no he wasn’t going there, it wasn’t his place, he knew it wasn’t his place. Of course, talking to Talia wasn’t going to fix everything, but he’d figure some other things out. As it was, he kept going with Ricky,

“You never know, you might like her, she’s an amazing woman, Rick, we’ve been having coffee for a few days now. I think you’d like her if you gave her a chance.”

Rick’s whole body went tense hearing how fondly Chris spoke of Talia, the smile he got on his face when he said she was an amazing woman. There was no way he could admit to the way his soulmate tattoo burned something awful with the irrational anger that ripped through him as he picked up his coffee to drink, distraction, he needed a distraction so he didn’t hit his friend for talking about her like that. It was bad enough that he could barely see Vinny lately without risking running into Talia while she was staying at his house, but now this? He missed hanging out with Chris too, and she wasn’t just worming her way everywhere in his life, but now under his skin, how the fuck did he dig her out?

Talia didn’t bother with an Uber today, having found her way around town enough, she enjoyed walking. She did a lot back home too, and today she felt comfortable enough that she had decided to walk back to Vinny’s on her own two feet. Walking gave her time to clear her head every day, and while today had felt like a good day, something felt off, she couldn’t quite place why. Chris had seemed a bit preoccupied before he left, not to mention, through their time having coffee, a part of her wondered if she was being stupid going for coffee with him at all.

He was one of Rick’s friends, but at the same time, he was one of Vinny’s friends too, and it could affect Ava’s situation. It was complicated. Chris was an attractive man. Any other situation, maybe these afternoons having coffee, and she might be working up asking him out on a date. He was funny, smart, great taste in music, and yet, being around him would draw her even closer to Rick, and that thought was even more painful and treacherous for her heart. Not that being friends with Chris was horrible, considering she had no intention of abandoning Ava here alone. They could be friends, she wanted to be friends.

As she was walking, she was about halfway down Vinny’s street, well aware of his address now, since the party she committed the address to memory, and saved it permanently in her phone. She was not going to be caught without it, no chance. Not that it mattered now she was learning her way around, which was good if she planned to come back here, and considering Vinny was now such a big part of Ava’s life, she would, she could promise you that. It wasn’t that far from Vinny’s house when she felt a surge of heat through her soulmate tattoo again, her neck just suddenly burning up out of nowhere. She’d felt it a little at the café, just for a moment, but it had calmed down quickly, but not this bad though, this time made her cry out, her hand moving to her neck, fingers curving around it.

This wasn’t the first time it had happened this week, the tattoo flaring up, not that it was always painful sometimes, it felt good sometimes too. Oh, oh, it felt wonderful, the kind of good like it had felt in the bathroom when she was Rick. Something was happening, and she didn’t know what was going on, and it was making her head completely spin around. Whether she was thinking about him, or feeling her mark react… it certainly made her think about him… something, something was happening. What was she supposed to do?

Who was she supposed to talk to? Was this normal? She’d never heard of a soulmate tattoo doing this. She had a feeling if Jordan and Kyle’s tattoo had done this, they’d have said something, right? Or if Ava and Vinny’s tattoos were reacting the same way.. Right, right?

Dammit.

Maybe she was finally going insane. All these years, all the years of her family thinking she was a little bit off her rocker thinking she was soulmates with a famous musician and fighting to just be accepted… and maybe after everything that had happened with Ricky now, she’d finally just, broken.

Made sense.

This all started happening when she finally met him. Maybe she’d just finally snapped.

“Congrats, Talia, you made it. Welcome to around the bend.”

Rubbing her neck, the pain seemed to have calmed down, but that didn’t change the reality of what was happening, of what her soulmate tattoo was telling her, whatever it was that it was telling her. She was feeling phantom pain, and yes, phantom arousing moments… the latter was not so bad, but the fact that it came out of nowhere, well…

Sighing, maybe when she went home she’d see about finding one of those therapists that specialised in soulmate bonds, broken ones. She’d talk to Ava, but it felt like it would just be something that could drag her down with Vinny. Sure she was here for support, but with her not soulmate connection with Ricky, she just felt like it was more pressure, and it was such a horrible feeling like she was nothing but a dead weight to her best friend’s relationship.

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

[jazz-miester]

You spoke my name like it was holy.

Burn then.

Pairing: N/A ish

Characters: Mtmte Megatron. Y/n.

Reader type: Gender Neutral bot reader

Song: Kill me with your love -One true God.

Warnings: Angst

An: My dude I legit wrote this because of an old discarded paragraph I wrote lol

Tags:@rawmeknockout I hope this is cool lol. This is based off of a post you made about a bot being like. An advisor to Megatron and really loyal but megs overlooks them or something like that. If I can find it I'll definitely link it to this post lol. But I wanna give credit where it's due.

A millennia of him forgetting you. A wars worth of broken sparks. A single frame burned and used. Everything. He took everything from you.

You had nothing to show. Nothing but the cracks on you frame. The scaring and welds. A lifetime of tiredness on your shoulders. It was old. But still it served you. Carried you when you were tired. Gave you strength when you thought you would fail.

It harbored a broken spark you hid well.

Or did.

Until now.

Why was He on board the Lost Light? Called "Captain" by many? He was no Captain. No leader. He was not a mech on blindly followed.

He showed you as such.

Yet here Rodimus was. Conversing with him as if he were an equal. As if he was deserving of some type of faith. It turned you tanks and left a sour taste in your intake.

You didn't speak. Didn't acknowledge his existence. Despite his best efforts. Clearly He wished to speak.

You saw it in the way his optics rove over you. Crimson depths the same color of an eclipsing moon. Shadowing over passed wrongs he has delt you.

You knew better though. Knew his poets glossa like the back of your servo. Knew of the ways He manipulated and persuaded.

Not again. Primus. Not again.

He first saw you within the Captains office. Delivering a report to Rodimus. It made you uneasy. Put you in edge. You saw his face fall before a fond smile tugged at his lips. Optics brightening as he spoke.

"Y/n?" He breathed.

You dropped the data pad on Rodimus's desk. Turned on heel and left.

You would get the signature later. Hopefully Ultra Magnus would understand.

.

You saw Him again at Swerve's bar while having a drink with Cyclonus and and Tailgate.

The glass perched on you lips. The barest taste of the sweet high grade on your glossa. You optics followed him. Watched as He glanced around the bar. As if He were looking for somebot.

Cyclonus followed you line of sight. Gave you a knowing look. Tailgate was oblivious. Or chose not to care. Maybe he was a little more than drunk though. Having gotten to the bar well before you and the former Deception.

"Speak with him. It will do you you good." Cyclonus rumbles out. He pulled Tailgates drink away as the mini bot begins to fall into recharge.

You scoff. "After what he did? No fraggin way. I'd sooner let him burn than speak to him." You glance back up. Lock optics with Him.

"Still. You should. Even if it ends with yelling. Or whatever manner of curses you have for the mech. Speak to him. End the heaviness in your spark." Cyclonus was one of the only not who knew. You spilled more than you wanted on one drunken night.

"And risk telling the truth? As the humans say. Fuck no." With that you rise from the table. Through down a few more shanix than the drink is worth. Then leave. Optics locked on Him until you pass the threshold of the door.

You begin to make you way to your habsuite. Think better of it. Then head off to Drifts. Maybe he could help more than "speak with him."

.

"You really should talk to Megatron. It might help."

You scowl.

Drift you traitor.

"You know better than anybot here about what he did to me. I was loyal to him. I cared. He didn't. Primus damn me I don't think he ever did." Drift lays a servo on your shoulder. Gives jt a small shake and you a stern look.

"You forget I was loyal to him once to. But I didn't love him. Not like you did anyways."

Your servos shake. Your tank turns.

"That. That wasn't love. It was blind stupidity. Something I'm still paying for to this day." You shake you helm. "Primus Drift. I don't think I can ever come back from that. Not as long as he's still here." The servo fell. Drift places a single pink crystal on the palm of your servo. Curls your digits around it.

"Still. Y/n. I think you should. It doesn't do you any good to carry this around. It leaves your field feeling really off."

You sigh. "Ya. Maybe. Just. Don't count on it. Not anytime soon."

.

Not any time soon became three weeks later. Three whole weeks of not seeing him. As grateful as you were you couldn't help but feel some sort of guilt. Why you'll never know. But it was there. A little seed planted in your tanks. Left them feeling something awful the longer you thought on it.

You figited with the crystal. Passing it from one servo to the other. Just something to do to pass the time.

The stars were bright at this sector of space. Large and giant. Hues of yellow and red. It filled every inch of the glass of the observation room. Left gleaming streaks against your armor.

The doors slide open behind you and you thought nothing of it. Thinking that it was Drift coming to meditate. To tell you about Rodimus's latest shenanigans.

But those pedd falls were to heavy.

The whir of vents sounding just this side of off.

And they definitely were Drifts usual swish swish of air.

"Who are you and what do you want?" A throaty chuckle.

"You haven't changed very much. I just came to say hi." Grey legs come to the left of you. "To figure out why you've been avoiding me."

You quickly find yourself on your pedds. Taking a few steps away from him. Moving as if though he burned you.

His optics widen. Something falls on his face then. Remorse? Guilt?

Good. Let him suffer.

"I don't have anything to say to you. Not now. Not ever." The words stick in your intake.

He looks to you. The floor. To the stars outside the glass. A smile.

"You always did enjoy the stars. I remember how you use to get excited everytime the smog rolled away. Opened up the skies." He doesn't look at you as he says this.

You clench the crystal in your servo. Almost crush it in your growing anger.

"After everything. All you have to talk about are the stars?" You step closer to Him. Press a digit to his chassis. "No 'Sorry I completely ignored you.' No 'Despite you being my best advisor and closest friend I regret pushing you away.'!" You smack your servo against His chassis. Barely he moves. Still that unmovable giant he was when you first met.

"Megatron. I have you everything and it didn't mean a damn thing to you." He grabs your wrist. Gentle but firm. And. For a moment. You panic. He held that same look in his optics. The one he reserved for Starscream.

It leaves just as quickly. Leaves him looking older than he truly is.

"You ment everything to me. Y/n. You were one of the few who truly new what it was like. In the mines. As a slave." He opens your servo. Thumb trailing over the scar on your palm. "You were one of the only left who still held a better Cybertron in mind."

You pull your servo back. Scowl.

"Not once. Not once did you every say. Every show I meant more to you than the data I gave you." Your tanks turned. Flipped.

"And for that I'm sorry. Truly. I should have done more. Helped you. This rift between the two of us. I wish it were gone. I wish I knew what to do."

"That rift is there because you put it there Megatron!" Your voice rises. Echoes against the walls. A nearby star bathes the room in red. That same crimson of his optics.

"And I want to know if I can fix it. Us." The unspoken you hung there. In the air.

"That's all I am to you then? A tragedy?" You scoff. Bare your denta. "Im not some broken thing you can cover in guilded gold and say you fixed, Megatron!" You smack your servo against your chest.

"Guess what! Despite everything you did to me. Despite the fact that I loved you! That it broke me to see you fall as far as you did." You step towards him. "I fixed myself! Without your fragging help! I didn't need it then and I don't need it now."

Your vents whirled. Cycling cool air to your overheated frame.

Three words echoed in your helm. The ones that now fall from his lips.

"You loved me?" You shake your helm.

"I did. Not anymore. And I certainly don't love who you became." You turn to leave. His servo in your shoulder stops you. Barely you turn.

"Is there any chance? Anything. Even as friends?" You brush his shoulder off. Feel hurt at the quiet tone his voice took. Hardly a whisper.

"As of now? No. It hurts. Even still."

You leave and it's all to similar.

Reminiscent of another time. A different argument.

A different hurt.

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

The Quicksilver Princess Ch. 4

Series summary: A fantasy AU in which Dean is part of a long line of warriors who protect the kingdom. What happens when his rescue of the little princess with the quicksilver eyes gets him a possilble future bride?

Series Warnings: Nothing major. Show typical violence. Fantasy violence. Smut. Angst. Fluff. Each chapter will have its own specific warnings. So, watch for those.

Chapter Warnings: None.

Pairings: Dean Winchester x OFC

Word Count: 3,301

A/N: This is my entry for @awkward-and-indecisive’s “Abby’s 200 followers celebration”. The trope I got was arranged marriage and the dialogue prompt I got was “I’m tired of lying here in this stupid bed.”

Both parts of the entry have been fulfilled now! Finally - thanks for your patience Abbs!

A/N 2: So, I truly apologize for how long it took for this chapter to come out. For some reason I just really struggled with it. I'm not sure why, except that my muse has been leaving me on my own a lot lately! 😭 Lol!! But nevertheless, here it is at last!

Hope you enjoy this chapter! ❤️

Series Master List || Main Master List || Tag Lists

Melissande gasped as Dean stepped back from Bernard and unsheathed his sword. He turned swiftly, and pressed the tip against Rowena's heart.

"I should run you through." He said, deadly calm. "You sold us out."

Bernard started to charge at Dean, but Rowena held up one hand and he stopped immediately.

"No Bernard. It's fine." She gave Dean a look of mild annoyance. "Don't be such a fool. I haven't sold you out. For Pete's sake, I've aided and abetted you in stealing away the Princess and marrying her in secret. I've bamboozled a man of the cloth!"

With one finger the witch pushed the tip of Dean's sword away from her chest and folded her arms again. "My neck will stretch just as quick as yours when those guardsmen get here."

Melissande believed her and gave a sigh of relief when Dean eyeballed her for a minute more before he dropped his arm and sheathed his sword.

"Then how the hell did they know where we are so quickly?" He asked, obviously frustrated. "And more importantly, how long do we have to get away?"

Rowena shook her head. "I've no idea how they knew, except to say that the queen is much more adept at magic then she would ever let on. As to escape, I'm afraid we have very little time at all and almost no chance of it. They've surrounded us. Now, I've put up concealment and warding enchantments, but they won't hold long against their bombardment. They know we're here and they won't stop until they've gotten through."

Melissande started to stand up before she remembered she was next to nude, and pulled the sheet back up.

"Um Rowena, would you mind..." She waved a hand at herself and Rowena nodded before snapping her finger and changing their outfits.

She returned Dean to the leather doublet and breeches he'd been wearing earlier, but Melissande was very grateful that the witch snapped her into a simple white linen gown rather than the baggy tunic and torn chemise she'd worn there.

"Thank you." Melissande said quietly as she crawled out of the sheets and smoothed down the long skirt.

Dean seemed a bit surprised by the sudden costume change, but he quickly shook his head, getting back to the matter at hand.

"Alright, they may be coming quicker than we thought, but this is what we've been preparing for, this is why we took this route of marriage."

He nodded towards Melissande. "Mellie is safely married to me, so -"

"Married, but not consummated, I think. Yes?" Rowena interrupted him

Dean frowned at her and she shook her head. "I told you to get up here sooner."

Shooting her a look that said he wasn't interested in "I told you so", Dean walked back to the side of the bed and pulled his dagger from it's place at his waist. He pushed up the sleeve of his doublet and made a quick, but long, cut across his arm.

"Dean!" Melissande cried out as she watched the blood plume and then drip down onto the stark white sheets.

She dashed up to his side and pulled on the arm holding the knife. "What in the name of all the gods do you think you're you doing?"

"Assuring your safety." He said simply as he took the small cloth Rowena held out to him.

Melissande shook her head, confusion twisting her features. She turned to Rowena who explained.

"Virgins bleed, dear." She shrugged. "Or some do. But the church sees it as sacrosanct, that blood be present on the sheets of a newly married maiden. This will act as proof that your marriage has been consummated."

Melissande scrunched up her nose and felt her cheeks turn bright red. "Seems barbaric to me."

Rowena nodded. "Yes, for all their supposed civility and piety, the church can be be much more barbaric than those of us who have stuck by the old gods."

After a moment's silence Rowena looked at Dean and then back at Melissande. Her expression was almost one of sympathy. "Alright, love, I cannot keep the secret any longer. For Pity's sake the man is bleeding for you, and the truth is...well, you must know now, that we're not getting out of here without you."

Melissande looked at Rowena, more confused than ever. "What?"

Rowena heaved a sigh. "Enough. I went along with the deception because I assumed you must have a reason for keeping yourself hidden, and quite frankly, I hoped to stay on your good side. But whatever reasons you had for keeping yourself concealed, they can't be important enough to let yourself be captured."

Dean looked to Melissande, a question in his eyes, but she shook her head, shoulders lifted in a shrug. "I have absolutely no idea what she's talking about."

Dean pivoted his attention back to the witch. "Rowena, what are you talking about?"

"I am asking your wife to explain to you just what she really is." Rowena responded with a pointed look at Melissande.

All three people turned to stare at her and Melissande became completely flustered, more confused than ever.

"I'm...what do you mean? I'm a Princess...or was one...and I'm just...now I'm just...I'm nothing."

Dean turned back to the redhead. "Rowena, speak plain. What the hell are you saying?"

Rowena rolled her eyes and stared at Melissande again. As she continued to stare, her face began to lose its look of frustration and disbelief and fall into lines of incredulity.

She shook her head slowly. "Not possible."

When the room stayed silent she let out a cry of dismay. "No, gods! You're telling the truth! You truly don't know." She turned to Bernard who came forward to put his arm around her waist and hold her hand.

"We're doomed!" She cried with a dramatic wail.

"Enough, Rowena!" Dean ordered in a harsh voice. "Tell us this instant what you're talking about."

"Your dear new bride is a fairy!" She shouted, in a frustrated voice.

Absolute silence reigned for a moment before Melissande burst out laughing.

"You're mad!" She said, completely flabbergasted. "I'm a fairy?"

Another hysterical giggle bubbled up out of her. "Yes, of course. I am a tiny flying person!"

She looked to Dean who was frowning her way. She didn't like that he wasn't joining in her laughter at Rowena's ridiculous claims.

"Obviously, she's insane!" She cried, her arm flung out toward the witch.

Rowena tutted. "Ugh! First of all fairies were not TINY flying people." She shrugged. "They were just small, flying people. Well, smaller than humans anyway."

She shook her head. "And I don't mean you're a full-blooded fairy, they've gone extinct long ago. But you're descended from fairies. You're obviously a direct descendant of the fairy queen, Caryn'se."

When she didn't continue, Melissande let out a bark of laughter, still refusing to believe the lunacy. "Oh, yes, obviously! How is any of this obvious, or believable at all? You're mad." She said again quietly, shaking her head in denial.

"It's your eyes little one." Rowena said, equally quiet. "Haven't you ever wondered why no one in this world has eyes like yours?"

All three of them were staring at her and Melissande shook her head, sputtering, knowing Rowena was wrong, had to be.

"My eyes are...it's a family trait. A family trait of the royal family...it just... they're just unusual!" She shouted defensively.

Rowena was nodding. "Yes, it is a family trait. At one time, many royal family members had them, a gift from Queen Caryn'se. But as the centuries moved on, and the fairy blood became more and more diluted with human, the trait was passed to fewer and fewer descendants. So, that now, it happens only once in a generation or two."

Melissande was shaking her head. "No, you're wrong. You're lying. I'm not a fairy, I have no magic!"

Rowena was looking at her with sympathy again. "Oh my dear, I'm sorry, but you do. You do have such magic coursing through your veins. You're more powerful than you can possibly know, certainly more powerful than any other creature in this world."

Rowena walked over to Melissande and took hold of her hands. "You have a connection to this world like no other. This kingdom is a fairy kingdom, cared for from the beginning of time by the Fae. The name of the kingdom, Sanso'ye, is from the fairy tongue. It means 'Land of the Silver-Eyed People". Then centuries ago, the humans came to conquer. The Fae fought back, but had little to no knowledge of warfare, and the humans carried weapons they didn't understand. They were being slaughtered, and so Queen Caryn'se made a pact with the Human King Talbot to end the violence if she agreed to marry him. She sold herself to save her people."

The witch raised her hand to Melissande's cheek, gently cupping it. "My little one, you have that kind of bravery and power inside the marrow of your bones. All you have to do is channel it."

But Melissande pulled away from her shaking her head. "You're mad." She whispered again. "I have no power, I am nothing, just the forgotten daughter of a Fourth Queen."

Rowena sighed and shook her head. "As long as you believe that, I'm afraid we're truly doomed."

Dean cleared his throat. "Alright, Rowena, enough history lessons. Let's say this is all true, what difference does that make? I'm still married to her, she still can't testify against the queen, she should still be protected."

Rowena rolled her eyes. "Don't you understand, the First Queen is not after Melissande because she's some kind of witness. She wants her for the power the princess wields."

"I wield absolutely no power!" Melissande interrupted, but Rowena ignored her.

"My guess is the Fourth Queen was killed simply because she was there when the guards were trying to take Melissande. The Fourth Queen was the actual witness, and they wanted her out of the way. Now, I'm sure that if the First Queen could take down a rival at the same time, she saw it simply as a bonus."

"Wait," Melissande swallowed roughly as tears gathered and realization dawned. "So...you're saying, I wasn't a target because of my mother...it was the opposite. My mother...mother was killed because of me." She finished in a whisper.

Dean scowled at Rowena before turning to Melissande. "No, Mellie, listen to me. No matter what has happened, no matter what's true and what isn't about who you are, your mother was killed to further the Queen's attempt for power. Nothing more, nothing less. Your mother died because of the Queen, NOT because of you."

Rowena nodded. "He's absolutely right, my wee one, all of this is the fault of the First Queen, not you or your dear sweet mother."

Melissande nodded solemnly, still not sure she agreed with them, and Dean straightened up and looked at Rowena. "Why is she doing this now? She's had Mellie's whole life to come after her."

Rowena nodded. "Yes, but the magic of the Princess's eyes are likely the most potent at this age, right after she's reached maturity but before age has left its mark. I'd also wager that the queen's been waiting for the eclipse that will be taking place the day after next. The power of magic is multiplied when it's bound to a natural phenomenon like a solar eclipse."

The witch shook her head. "She must be planning to attempt an incredibly powerful spell, if she's trying to draw that kind of power."

One part of Melissande's mind was desperately trying to take all of this in, while the other part was busy trying to deny it outright. None of this could be true, surely? It was too fantastic a story.

To think that the First Queen, who had never even acknowledged her existence, had been plotting her whole life, just waiting for her to grow up so she could snatch her up and use her eyes in some kind of spell during the dark of an eclipse?

It was ludicrous.

And yet...

She could feel the weight of truth in the words Rowena spoke. Her mind may be balking at the idea, but a surety had settled into her soul, no matter how much she tried to deny it.

This was real. And if this was true then there was only one option left open to them.

She turned to Dean and took hold of his arm. "You have to let me leave with the Guardsmen."

Dean stared at her a long moment before he seemed to fully comprehend what she was saying, but when he did he scoffed. "Mellie, don't be ridiculous."

He turned back to Rowena. "Do you have any exploding powder here?"

The witch shook her head, but before she could respond, Melissande took Dean's hand and stepped in front of him.

"Dean, this is the only way and you know it."

Dean scowled down at her. "If the only way for us to survive is to hand you over like a lamb to slaughter, then there is no way for us to survive. Because that will never happen, do you understand me?"

He looked to Rowena again. "What weapons do you have on hand?"

Rowena sighed. "I have magics and potions which work fairly well one on one, but I won't be able to take on over a hundred men. The best I can do is shield us for a time, as I'm doing." She closed her eyes to concentrate. "But the warding is failing even now. They'll be through in minutes."

Melissande pulled on his arm again. "Dean."

Before she could say any more, however, Dean's face became thunderous. "Enough! There is absolutely no way I'm letting you go."

She opened her mouth, but he stormed past her and out of the bedroom. She ran after him and felt Rowena and Bernard trail after them.

"Winchester!" She shouted at him as he made for the front door. "I command you to stop and listen to me at once!"

Dean stopped and turned back to her, his expression softening slightly. "I told you before, I'm not a Winchester anymore, and you're not a princess. You have no power to command me."

She ran to him and reached up to cup his cheeks. "Then I'm begging you as a wife, to listen to me, please."

When he didn't immediately move away she smiled. "I'm not telling you to walk away and let me die. I'm asking you to trust my plan."

"What plan?" Dean asked skeptically.

Melissande drew in a deep breath. "Well, the First Queen is planning to kill me under the solar eclipse the day after tomorrow. So, let them take me now, and that gives you a day and a half to come save me."

Dean looked at her as though she'd gone truly mad. "That's not a plan, Mellie - that's utter insanity! You want me to let you hand yourself over in the hope that I can get to you in time to save you. And just how exactly am I supposed to save you from a castle overflowing with Guardsman, if I can't even save you from these few that have come now?"

"There aren't a few of them, Dean, there are more than a hundred of them, and they've caught us off guard. I'll go now, and give you time to regroup, to rally forces, gather weapons." Melissande had a sudden idea and her eyes lit up with it.

"Go to the Warriors, tell them what's happening. Rally them to your side! They've always protected the kingdom, and I can't think of a time when the kingdom has been more in need of them. Whatever the Queen is planning with this powerful spell, it can't possibly be good for the people, or our land."

Throughout her speech Dean was shaking his head. He barked out a humorless laugh. "I'm a traitor, remember? None of them are going to listen to me!"

Melissande smiled. "You fail to understand your own strength, Winchester. You are an honorable man, and a leader! Go to them, they'll listen, I'm sure of it."

When Dean tried to speak again, she raised her finger to his lips. "Do you remember when you slayed the dragon that held me captive?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Yes, vaguely." He said sarcastically.

"Well," Melissande explained, "this is just the same. I'll run forward and distract them, make them stumble, and you come up from behind and slay the beast."

She stood on tiptoe to press a soft kiss to his closed mouth. She pulled back slightly and spoke against his lips. "I believe in you, my Winchester Warrior."

Dean was quiet a moment before he shook his head and raised a hand to cup her cheek. "I can't do it, Mellie. You can't ask me to let you walk out, and be swallowed up by a monster. I swore an oath to protect you and -"

"Abi!"

Melissande squealed in fright as Dean went hurtling through the air and smashed into the finely paneled wall, cracking it. She turned back to Rowena who was still pointing a finger in the direction Dean had sailed.

She ran to his prostrate form and knelt down next to him. "What have you done?" She shouted to Rowena.

"Listened to you." Rowena answered with a shrug. "I believe your plan is a sound one, or at least the only real option we have. But there was absolutely no way that man was going to let you go. So, now he'll wake up and be furious, but he won't be mad for long because he can't afford the time."

Rowena came and took Melissande's elbow, pulling her to her feet.

"Alright, little princess, this is your chance. They'll be through in under a minute. Go now." Rowena patted her arm and kissed her cheek.

Melissande nodded and moved toward the door. As she reached for the handle, Rowena called out.

"Melissande!"

She turned back towards her and a slight glow seemed to emanate from the powerful witch. "Remember who you are, wee one. You are the direct descendant of Queen Caryn'se, Ruler of the Fae and these ancient lands from the time the world began. You've such power in your bones, little girl, and magic in your very soul."

Melissande nodded, feeling goosebumps run up and down her arms in spite of the fact that it was still nearly impossible for her to believe Rowena's words.

The light around the witch faded and she gave her a worried smile. "Go on now, child. And may the old gods go with you."

Melissande took a deep breath and walked out the door just as the veil hiding them dropped, and a legion of men riding hot breathing horses, and dripping weapons stood before her.

She held her hands high in pretended surrender.

[m-jelly]

hey jelly absolutely love your work! can I request a modern!au with (the usual) grumpy levi x reader being close and levi being soft for her but reader thinks he doesn’t like her because of how “cold” he is so she finds someone else? i live for this sort of angst :’) thanks!

Thank you! I am happy to do modern AU. I do love putting Levi in AUs. This is a popular request! lol. I don't do bad endings, only good and making Levi happy because the man needs to be happy. So, spoiler they will end up together, but we gotta have angst along the way... I'm thinking they work together and he's the boss. They both have unspoken feelings for each other, but the struggle is real. I'm gonna squeeze in another guy in the office who likes her too and he goes after reader, so Levi gotta step his game up and snatches us up.

Allowing yourself to love isn't easy.

Pairing: Levi x reader

Genre and tags: romance, hidden love and feelings, friends to lovers, emotional hurt and comfort, modern AU, Levi learns how to express himself.

Concept: Levi and you work together and are the best team there is in trading and deals. You and Levi know everything about each other, but he comes off as grumpy and cold to you. As Levi hopelessly loves you in silence, you think he only sees you as a friend. So, when a client shows romantic interest in you, you date him because no one else wants you and he seems nice. However, when there's trouble in paradise for you, you get comforted by someone you didn't expect. Levi comes to your aid and takes the opportunity to take the leap with his feelings.

Levi stared at your legs once you'd crossed them. He slowly looked up at your stunning legs until the skirt started. He looked down and watched as you rolled your ankle as you spoke to the client. Your small heels were holding on just by your toes. Levi was the only person who knew you kept these under your desk, then changed to slippers when you walked about the office.

He looked up at your face as you laughed and lit up the room. He knew you had these clients in the palm of your hand. You were alluring and smart, yet Levi was cold, calculating and intimidating. You both were the perfect combination and you made deals. You met clients and persuaded them to let Erwin's company make their campaigns, advertisements and image.

Levi stopped admiring you when you stood up and started shaking hands. Levi stood up, then shook the hands of the clients and knew you had them. He looked to you once the clients left. "Tch, you did it again."

You smiled at Levi. "I'm just that good." You walked with Levi out of the building as you checked over the paperwork. "We should get this processed and start the planning right away."

Levi hummed and opened the car door for you, then he got in his side and started the car. "Sooner we hand this over, the better."

You looked over to Levi. "You really don't like spending time with me, huh?"

Levi glanced over at you. "You want lunch?"

You smiled at Levi. "I would love lunch."

Levi drove to a nice Japanese place so he could have something with rice. He walked with you and kept you close to him, mainly so no other guy could approach you. He sat with you and watched you work as you both ate. "Tch, damn brat."

You looked up at Levi. "What did I do this time?"

Levi looked away. "Forget it."

You sipped your tea and hummed. "You always have an issue with me."

He wanted you to stop working and focus on him, but he didn't know how to put that into words. "You are a brown noser."

You smirked. "Oh, so because I work my ass off I have a brown nose. Good to know Levi."

Levi paid the bill, then took you back to the office. "Tch, oi brat?"

You stopped before going into your office. "Yeah?"

He clenched his jaw, then let it go as he thought of something nice to say. "You didn't fuck up today, for once."

You stared at Levi, then twirled your finger in the air. "Woopty doo. Sound the alarms. I didn't fuck up." You opened your door. "Stupid."

You walked into your office and kicked your heels off. You sighed as you thought about Levi. You had no clue how to get through to him. You slipped on your slippers, then pulled off your blazer. You sat behind your computer and started working and messaging the right teams about the clients. You stopped working when your mind wondered to Levi.

You made a cup of tea with your tea things, then walked over to his office next door. "Hi, Levi. I brought you some tea."

Levi looked you over and thought you looked even better all relaxed. "What are you doing here?"

You put the tea down in front of him. "I thought I'd get you a cup of tea."

Levi stared at the tea and blushed at you making it for him. "What did you do?"

You frowned. "I didn't do anything. It's a nice cup of tea, that's all."

He picked it up and sniffed it. "Right." Levi jumped when you took it back. "Tch, oi careful. The shit is hot." He watched you storm to the door. "What is your problem?"

You stopped and turned to Levi. "My problem? Take a long hard look at yourself. I'm nice to you, I'm always nice and you're an asshole a lot of the time." You opened his door. "Just, don't bother me for the rest of the day. I'm pissed at you." You slammed the door and went to your office. You slammed the cup down on the table and paced. You turned and pointed at the cup. "I fucking hate you sometimes, you confusing piece of shit."

"Well." You jumped and turned to see a tall handsome man in your office. He smiled at you and walked closer. "I've never seen anyone talk to a cup of tea like that before, but then again I have no idea what that tea has said to you."

You blushed hard. "I am so sorry for my language and my attire."

He walked right up to you and sighed. "It's refreshing." He offered you his hand. "Ha-Joon."

You gasped. "Oh fuck." You shook his hand. "Pleasure to meet you. Umm, wow you are a big potential client."

He smiled. "I am."

You pulled back. "I...do you want a cup of tea?"

He nodded and smiled softly. "I'd love one."

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Levi hated Ha-Joon with a great passion. Ha-Joon had appeared out of nowhere and swept you off your feet. He was a rich man, so he spoiled you and took you on amazing dates to some of the best places. Levi wished it was him. He wanted it so badly to be him. You and him got into little fights because you were dating Ha-Joon. Levi kept telling you there was something he didn't like about Ha-Joon, but you nicely told him it was okay.

Levi didn't like Ha-Joon because he was believed there was some angle he was playing in all this. He thought that maybe Ha-Joon was playing you to get a discount, or something for free. Levi was worried about you. Levi knew about Ha-Joon's reputation and wanted to protect you, but it was hard to get the right words across.

He felt this urge to protect you because he loved you so much. He walked to your office and opened the door to see Ha-Joon feeling you up from behind making you giggle. Levi got angry when he started opening buttons and you were telling him stop, but he kept going.

Levi ran over and yanked Ha-Joon off you. "She said no, you piece of shit!"

Ha-Joon held his hands up. "Woah now, you short grumpy man. Calm down. I was just playing with her."

You did up your buttons as you blushed. "It's okay Levi."

Levi growled. "No, it's not fucking okay. No means no."

"Levi, he was just being playful. He listens to me when I say no."

Levi grabbed Ha-Joon, then shoved him out of the room. Levi slammed the door shut, then walked up to you. "I don't like him."

You let out a long sigh. "I know you don't. You make it very clear you don't."

"Something isn't right about him."

You walked over to your tea area and made a cup. "That right?"

Levi walked over to you. "I'm worried about you."

You stopped making tea and looked to Levi. "What do you want from me Levi?" You looked at him. "I'm utterly exhausted. I don't want to lose you Levi because you mean a lot to me, but this fighting between you and Ha-Joon."

Levi searched your eyes, then sighed when he realised he needed to give up or he'd lose you. "I'm sorry. I'll stop. I don't ever want to lose you."

You smiled and gave Levi a cup of tea. "Good. This doesn't mean you have to like him, but just be civil for my sake."

"Promise."

You smiled brightly making Levi's heart flutter. It'd been a while since he'd seen that smile. You sipped your tea and sighed. "Thank you for being worried for me. Means a lot. Big contrast from your usual name calling."

Levi blushed. "Tch, yeah I can be an asshole."

You hummed a laugh. "Sometimes, but your so handsome that it's forgivable." You winked at him. "Can I let my fella back in now?"

He nodded and opened the door. "Tch, she's yours now."

Ha-Joon slipped into the room. "Thank you." He walked over to you and kissed your cheek. "Shall we talk business?"

You smiled a little. "I have some paperwork to do. I'll get that done and we'll chat."

He hugged you from behind and nuzzled the crook of your neck, then he smired at Levi. "What a tease you are."

Levi wanted to hit that man hard in his smug face, but you mattered more to him than anything, so he clenched his fist and held back his rage. Levi called your name. "We should have lunch again some time."

You looked to Levi and smiled. "I'd love to."

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Levi walked through the office one very late night and went into his room and sat at his desk. He looked through the paperwork, then typed on his computer to see something to do with Ha-Joon being rejected by the company. Levi looked at the time stamp of the reject to see it was a few minutes ago.

Levi hurried over to your office and let himself in. He stopped when he saw you sat on the sofa in your comfy clothes from home, tears were running down your cheeks and you had no makeup. Levi had never seen you this way before and he thought you were beautiful, he just wished you weren't crying.

You rubbed your tears away. "Ah, sorry Levi. I umm was at home and realised that I had some work to do urgently."

Levi sat next to you. "What did he do?"

You welled up. "You were right." You put your head in your hands. "He buttered me up and used me to get all our hard work for low prices and a lot of them were free by me. I worked my ass for him. When I accepted him for the big deal for dirt cheap, I heard him on the phone to his boss calling me an idiot and an easy lay."

Levi put his hand on your back. "I'm so sorry."

You sniffed back your tears. "It's fine. He'll be sorry. I'll make him pay."

Levi leaned over and kissed your cheek. "I have a plan." He got up, then held your hand and pulled you along. "Come on."

You stumbled after him. "Levi?"

He pulled you into his office, then he sat down. "Come here."

You sat on the arm of his chair. "What are you doing."

Levi typed away. "I am sorting out a bill for him. We have proof of all the things he's had from us. Plus, there's the work hours he's had off you which are one-on-one consultations. I've sent it all to Erwin as well." Levi looked up at you and smiled. "It'll take me a few days to build up the evidence against him and make the bill, but I'll make it."

You sat on Levi's lap, then hugged him tightly. "Thank you."

Levi held you back. "Want to help?"

"Yes."

Levi and you worked hard together and got closer together. You were always in his office, or you were over his house. The week you spent building a case against Ha-Joon was the best of your life. You and Levi connected on a deep level and managed to get revenge on Ha-Joon for using you.

You laughed with Levi in his office, then you turned to the door as it burst open. Your smile dropped at seeing Ha-Joon. "Levi?"

Levi moved you behind him. "I won't let him hurt you."

Ha-Joon stopped and showed papers to you and Levi. "What the fuck is this!? We had an agreement you bitch!"

Levi stared at Ha-Joon. "You used her and she caught you. You've been caught screwing someone over again. You use this technique of wooing women in businesses to get things for free, or discounted. You used her for your own gain and we caught you."

You stepped to the side to look at him. "I might have fallen for it all, but I heard you on that call to your boss. You fooled me for a while and fucked me, so now it's my turn to fuck you."

Ha-Joon gave you the middle finger. "You're a fucking bitch. A dirty ugly whore."

Levi slammed his fist into Ha-Joon's face breaking his nose. "Don't you ever speak about the woman I love in that way again. If you come near her again, or even speak to her I will break more than your fucking nose." Levi sighed as soon as Ha-Joon ran off crying. He turned to you. "Are you okay?"

You smiled at Levi. "Woman I love?"

Levi blushed. "I umm."

"Did you mean it?" You stepped closer. "That you love me?"

Levi nodded shyly. "For as long as I can remember. I didn't know how to tell you and you got me so flustered all the time, that I just said the wrong thing."

You grabbed his shirt and cupped the back of his neck. You pulled him close and kissed him. You nipped his lip, then deepened the kiss. You pulled back a moment and smiled. "I've loved you for a long time as well. You confused me for so long." You smiled. "Now, please say I can be yours."

Levi pulled you close and kissed you with all the love in his heart making you both melt. "All mine brat. You're all mine."

[laurie-stark]

Get up and get out

Summary: Sort of part two to Unwanted. A year after fighting in Germany, y/n has to deal with the insufferable Peter Parker being around the house all the time. 

Pairings: Peter Parker x stark!reader, tony stark x daughter!reader, Natasha Romanoff x daughter!reader. 

Warnings: swearing, angst? i guess? mentions of blood. mentions of panic nightmares 

A/N: Again, I want to make it very clear so there isn’t any confusion: Y/n is Tony’s biological child, however, being raised also by Natasha, Steve and Pepper, she calls them Muma, Pops and Mom. Hopefully that makes sense LOL oh and also i’ve never written like...kiss scenes before so just go with it okay?

He was here again. Third time this week that he has come barging into my home and taken over my training center. Okay, to be fair, it was not my training center but still. Peter Parker will never stop being a pain in my ass. Ever since that stupid trip to Germany, he has been coming over and training for hours, or working with Dad. Three times just this week I’ve had to endure listening to Peter talk with his stupid little voice and walk around my house like he owns the place. Who does he think he is? And every time I have to sit through another dinner of Dad blabbing on and on about what a miraculous boy he is.

               “Really y/n, I think you two would be great friends,” I rolled my eyes as I picked at my dinner. The rest of the family ate in silence around the table. The last thing I wanted to do is spend more time with stupid Spider-boy. On the afternoons when he was here, I tried my best to stay out of his way. I would stay on my floor and he stays on his. Simple. I don’t need a new friend.

“…And he’s coming by again tomorrow, so I was thinking of showing him A.P.R.I.L. if you wanted to join us-” Dad continued.

What the hell? I thought. “No!” I snapped. “No way. A.P.R.I.L. is mine, I don’t want him messing with her.” Dad frowned at me. The rest of the table looked up in my direction. My shoulders tensed up as I faced my father. A.P.R.I.L. is my baby and I was ready to go toe to toe with him if I needed too.

“What do you mean no? I thought you’d be excited to share that with him,” he started.

“Well I’m not, so back off,” I sneered. The shift in his expression made me want to bite my own tongue. “Please.”

“I seriously do not understand what your problem is. You’ve been complaining for years how there’s only adults but the second a kid your age comes by you’re all “oooh no don’t talk to me Peter!””

I scoffed. “Sorry, I guess I just don’t want to bother you and your new best friend.”

“There it is. Why are you so jealous of him? He’s not that cool. He hasn’t made a fully functioning A.I at the age of 15. He just spits sticky stuff out of his fingers. Honestly y/n, you’re making zero sense right now.”

“Whatever, I’m over this,” I said, pushing my chair back from the table. I grabbed my untouched dinner plate and headed towards the kitchen. “I’m not hungry. And don’t show him A.P.R.I.L., I mean it!” I dumped my plate in the sink and marched right down the hall towards the elevators. My dad was right. I wasn’t making any sense. Ever since I made A.P.R.I.L I’ve used every excuse I could find to shove her down people’s throats. Anyone who would listen to me, I would tell them. Tell them all about how I programmed her to have realistic personality. How she’s running through the walls of this place, through my room, even inside the bracelet I never take off. All I knew is that I didn’t want Peter Parker anywhere near her.

I shut the door to my hard, and flopped onto my bed. A.P.R.I.L. reminded me that slamming the doors usually results in a punishment. I acknowledged her with a half-hearted grunt. I started programming A.P.R.I.L. when I was thirteen. Or rather, reprogrammed. A.P.R.I.L. was made from an older prototype version of F.R.I.D.A.Y. The base stuff was already there, I just moved some things here, recoded there until she was perfect. I don’t know why I got so defensive about Peter meeting her. Or why I had to pick another fight with my dad.

It was easier these days. To fight him, I mean. I suppose I never got over the whole “Peter is better, I choose him over you, blah, blah” thing as much as I thought I did. So, I would pick fights. Fighting over Peter was the simplest way to go, considering he was the reason I was so angry in the first place. Sometimes we would fight over him, other times we would fight over silly things. Like how I keep forgetting not to put my coffee grounds in the garbage disposal. Most of the time it was all just bickering that would blow over in thirty minutes, give or take. Sometimes it was explosive, like today.  I took in a shaky breath and sprawled out across my sheets. Sometimes this family is a fucking nightmare.

Dad didn’t come by this time. It threw me off for a second because he always comes by. Even if it’s six hours later and neither of us should be awake, he still comes by with a box of milk duds that we share in silence before one of us apologizes first. That’s how we work. When it finally sunk in that he was not planning on coming, I put A.P.R.I.L. on the job. I figured perhaps he left the compound, maybe took Mom for a nighttime stroll.

“Your father is on floor B, Miss Stark,” A.P.R.I.L. informed me.

“Jesus A.P.R.I.L., how many times have I said to cut the formalities,” I muttered.

“My apologies, y/n.”

Floor B. What the hell is he doing on floor B at…12:00 in the morning? Floor B is strictly for members of household and other Avengers. There are a billion different training rooms down there. Weight rooms, boxing, a huge pool, stuff like that. Not to taint his image, but I can safely say the last time my father willingly worked out for fun was probably before I was even born. Why was he down there? Unless…

“A.P.R.I.L. who else is on floor B right now?” I asked. “Throw it on the hologram, would you dear?

The sounds of the hologram starting filled the room. A.P.R.I.L. pulled up the security map of floor B, like I’d asked. There was my dad, floor B in the boxing room of all places. Pops and Sam looked to be going at it in another one of the combat training rooms. My confusion only rose when another nametag popped up on the screen. My brows furrowed.

Peter Parker

What was he doing here? Why was he boxing? Why was he not in his own home at midnight on a Thursday? My mind was spinning with questions. A knock at my door startled me.

“Come in…”

Natasha popped her head through the doorway. “Hey there…whatcha doing kid?”

I swiftly swiped away the hologram screen and sat up straight. “Nothing. What’s up?”

“Well, we’re getting a little worried about you,” she said. We being everyone else at the table who had to witness my brawl with Dad. She sat down beside me. “You haven’t fought back like that in a long time and I’ve noticed you’re fighting with him a lot recently. You want to tell me what that’s all about?”

I wanted too. God, I wanted too. I hadn’t told anyone what my father said to me that day after the airport, not even my mom. But it didn’t matter. I’d get over it sooner or later, so there was no point troubling anyone else with my problems…right? My eyes started to well up but I blinked away the tears. “No. Everything’s fine,” I put on a smile.

Natasha tucked me in under her arm. “Okay then. Maybe tomorrow.” That was Muma for you. She never pushed me to talk but knew I would come around at some point. In the meantime, she just held me. I cried into her embrace. She let me cry into her shoulder for a long while, until I was empty. After a time, I let go and she got up, giving me a kiss on the head before wishing me a good night.

I rubbed my hands over my face, brushing off any remaining tears. “A.P.R.I.L. bring the hologram back up please.”

“Are you sure y/n?”

…

“Yeah.”

Peter was still in the boxing room but my father was not. Upon further digging, I found the nametag reading Tony Stark on my floor. He’d gone to bed. I pondered to myself as to whether or not I should venture downstairs. What is the worst thing that could happen? Peter is secretly a Hydra spy and kills me? No, I shook my head. Don’t be ridiculous. Another minute passed and I’d made up my mind.

“A.P.R.I.L. engage “I am definitely here”,” I commanded.

“”I am definitely here” protocol engaged. Volume minimized to 5% and your tracking tag will be pinned to this room,” A.P.R.I.L. responded. “Good luck on your mission small agent.”

“Oh shut up,” I chided. I closed the door to my room as softly as I could. It was nearly one in the morning, most of the hall would be asleep. Or at least they should be. The hallway was silent, except for the soft noise of my socks padding along the floor. I cursed myself for looking so ridiculous. If anyone caught me, I could easily say that I was just getting a midnight snack. Not sneaking down to spy on Spider-bitch. Boy. Whatever. Sneaking added to the excitement.

I made it downstairs all in one piece. Steve and Sam nearly passed me in one of the halls, but I had ducked into a briefing room. I could totally be a spy. Maybe I’m a Hydra spy. I thought. And they sent me here as a baby to take down the Avengers from the inside. What was I going on about? This was why I should really be in bed, I was clearly delirious. Once again, distracting myself in my thoughts led to me getting startled. I hadn’t even realized I was outside the boxing room. I would have walked right in if not for the handy wall that I smacked into.

Peter was in the ring, practicing his punches. He’d lowered down one of the punching bags from the ceiling and it was close to ripping at the seams. He was really going ham on it. The questions piled on. So, he came over to my house at midnight to…train? Something he had all afternoon today to do? God, he was weird. I suppose I didn’t quite know what I was going to get myself into when I finally walked in to confront him.

“What are you doing?” I asked, arms folded tightly across my chest.

Peter started and looked down at me. Sweat was dripping down his face. He looked exhausted. “Training,” he said bluntly. He returned to treating the punching bag like it had run over his dog.

“At one in the morning? And after you spent like six hours today doing just that?” I was not letting him off that easy. Peter ignored me and continued punching. “Your form is shit.” I mocked.

That made him stop. “Funny coming from the girl who never leaves her room. When have you ever trained? Like ever?”

“I still beat your ass.”

“Yeah like, a year ago when I was barely an avenger.”

I rolled my eyes. “You still aren’t.”

“What do you want?” Peter spat.

I shrugged. “Dunno.” I stared him down with a smug look on my face.

“You are always such a bitch, you know that?”

I faked a pout. “Aw…bite me.”

Peter was chewing the inside of his cheek in anger. “If you’re going to stay here and pester me, you might as well get a few punches in.”

“And why would I do that?”

“Consider it a rematch.”

I studied his physique for a moment. He’d grown a lot since Germany. He’d also trained a lot since then as well. I had done little of either. I knew that entering that ring would probably end up with me losing my dignity and maybe even a tooth. But I was not going to let him stand there with his stupid, sweaty face and get away with it. This is not a good idea, I thought as I took off my socks. I moved the ropes and stepped into the ring, standing a foot in front of the boy.

“I’ll still win.”

“No powers either.”

“Deal.” Not like I’ve touched my powers since…since the incident.

Peter took his stance and I did my best to mirror him. I realized in that moment that I had no idea what I was doing. I didn’t know the first thing about boxing. Or sparring. I didn’t know how to fight without my powers. Oh, sweet Jesus.

We kept our distance at first, fists up. He threw a few punches and missed. I followed in suit. I finally got the first hit, a nice throw to his chest. He took it like a champ and didn’t flinch. Or rather, I couldn’t hit for shit and it didn’t hurt. He threw a punch to my left, only to miss on purpose and punched me square across my jaw. Ow. I chuckled lowly. The taste of blood filled my mouth from the fresh cut on my lip. I wiped the back of my hand across my mouth. All I could see was white rage.

Forget form, forget rules, forget everything. I lunged at him with everything I had. Lunged at him for all the bullshit he had brought into my life. For all the bitter things I had to hear my father say that weren’t even Peter’s fault. He was clearly not expecting my attack because we both fell to the ground. We fought tirelessly on the mat. He was physically stronger than me, so by default he was winning. He wrestled me until I was pinned under him. One hand was pinning my hand above my head, the other arm pinning down my body. In any other circumstances I would be amused to find myself in such a scandal. I looked in his eyes briefly and I could already tell he thought that he was winning. If there’s one thing I learned from Nat, it’s to always step on their moment. I hooked my leg around his knee and used all my force to flip us over. I had him pinned down now, my hair falling around my face. We were both breathing heavily.

“Told you,” I taunted. I was mentally preparing him to punch back but he didn’t. He snapped his arms out from under me and shoved me off him, hard. I fell back against the mat. He rose to his feet, brushing his hands off on his pants. “What the hell?” I exclaimed. I jumped to my feet while his back was turned to me and gave him a taste of his own medicine. He stumbled a few steps after I pushed him. Slowly, he stretched back up to reach his full height.

“You’re right,” he turned to face me and extended a hand. “Shake on the truce?” I took his hand, accepting his surrender. Only, he was not really surrendering. The moment my hand touched his, he yanked me towards him. I tripped over my feet and fell into him. My chest crashed onto his. The world was a blur as he grabbed me with force and spun us around, so he could push me up against the ropes of the ring.

“Stop, Peter get off me you bitch!” I fought back. I flailed my whole body around, trying to break loose. One hand reached up to grab the back of my head, pulling my hair and forcing my head back. I froze. His face was dangerously close to my exposed neck. His shift let my opposite arm break free. I took a breathe and reeled it back, ready to smack him in the across the face. He caught my wrist in time without taking his eyes off mine.

He lowered his head to whisper in my ear, “I win.” His breathe trickled down my neck. He had won, but he wasn’t moving. One hand was still in my hair, the other was pinning me against the ropes. His chest breathed heavily against my own. His grip on my head loosened slightly and I was able to look him straight on. He had that same smug look pasted across his face. His eyes moved from mine, trailing down my face, my neck, my body, before they settled on my lips. I momentarily lost the ability to breathe.

He kissed me hard. I tensed up slightly before giving into him completely. It tasted like blood and sweat and I felt like I was losing my mind. He pulled me closer, if that was even possible and claimed my mouth with his until my knees gave out. A newfound wave of warm washed through me. The hand in my hair gave a slight tug and my lips parted while that same hand moved to cup my jaw. For all I knew, the entire compound was wide awake and watching but I did not care. I brought my fingers to his hair, tugging at the ends. I smiled cunningly when he groaned into my mouth. He kissed me greedily and fully. Like he hated me. And I hated him.

We broke apart, limbs numb and chests heaving. The moment had passed, and our actions sunk in. What. The. Fuck. He lifted the ropes for me, and I climbed out of the ring. My head was still spinning from that kiss and my lip stung. Consequences I suppose, for kissing someone with a busted lip. I silently pulled my socks back on and Peter handed me a towel. Neither of us said another word. I left the room and didn’t look back. I could hear him behind me, but I was in no rush to have to look him in the eye ever again. What just happened?

 I woke the next morning to A.P.R.I.L. alerting me that “Father Dearest” was outside my door. He came in and sat on the edge of the bed. We both stayed quiet for a while.

I spoke first. “Where were you last night? You didn’t come by after…” I let my words trail off.

“I was going to, I swear. But then something came up with Peter and I had to go take care of that,” Dad answered.

I frowned. “Typical. Peter over your own flesh and blood, right?”

Dad inhaled sharply like he was going to bite back, but changed his mind. “That’s not true and you know it. Peter is…he’s going through something and I knew how to help him. Not everything is about you, you narcissist,” He said, joking at the end.

I had to push down my own smile. “Yeah well where do you think I got it from?” I sat up and leaned into my father. He brushed a hand down my back. “So, what’s wrong with Peter then?”

“I really shouldn’t tell you, it’s personal.” I looked up at him with my doe eyes. He rolled his eyes and sighed, nodding a silent defeat. I felt like I was nine again and he was gossiping with me about the latest secretary. Like every fight had been forgotten in this moment. “He’s been having some nightmares ever since DC. You remember the ones we used to get after Loki?” I nodded. “Now you, you always amazed me at how you handled those. But for me and Peter, we needed a different outlet. So, I let him come over in the middle of the night. I didn’t think anyone would notice.” I hummed in response, not sure what to make of that information. I mean, I kind of felt bad for the guy. He was still a bitch, but those dreams suck. No one should have to deal with them. “He really isn’t as bad as you think, you know.”

“Yeah,” I hummed. “I think you’re right.”

tag list:

@runawayolives @ creation-magician @ eridanuswave @ markhyucksmells @ beep-beep-losersclub

[missskzbiased]

I Hate That I’m Afraid to Love You (12)

Genre: Romance, Friendship, Angst, Hurt /Confort , Suggestive, Fluff, College Au, Enemies to Friends to Lovers Au, REALLY Slow burn, Love Square (?)

Pairing: Hyunjin X Fem!Reader  X Han X OC

WC: ~ 7,1K

[Previous] [Chap] [Next]

Masterlist

Notes: It’s on Hyunjin’s POV, so You is actually him here lol

A little bit earlier just because I want to. I think you guys will like this one because Hyunjin is kinda horny here. “kinda”. He’s horny. But anyway. Wish you a good read~

Warnings (general*): Language, Mentions of (Physical abuse, Death/ Loss of Loved One, Child Abandonment/Neglect, Divorce, Toxic Parents, Cancer, Mental disorder, Anxiety Attack, Alcohol, Food), Suggestiveness

Updates: Tuesdays

Tagging: @aliceu @thatrandomoneinthecorner  @channiewoo  @bythesunnotbythemoon

                                                          ////

HYUNJIN’S POV

   Y/N was the clingy drunk.

   You would never imagine that Y/N would show up unannounced at your home around… Ten? Maybe 11 PM? But the scene you had on the other side of your eye door was clear: She was gloomy and devasted, head lowered and bag being held tight to her chest. You had opened the door knowing you would regret this. The regret you would have by letting her alone outside would be way worse, though, so you let her in.

   “Chan isn’t home” Was the first thing you said as you stepped aside. You expected an upset retort, maybe even a teasing one, but what you got in return was her head lifting, eyes locking with yours.

   She had been crying.

   You had plenty of experience with crying girls ─ not that it was something to brag about ─ but you never had a friend crying right in front of you. As a good friend and human, you stood there with your mouth agape, without a clue of what to do. She averted her eyes, embarrassed by your reaction, and muttered a “Can I come in?” so small that it could almost break your heart.

   What the fuck had happened?

   You gestured for her to come in, eagerly, watching as she dragged herself, kind of curled up as if she was trying to hide from the world. You had seen Y/N mad, happy, annoyed, embarrassed… You had never seen her broken like this. You decided not to ask much, and she made her way to your kitchen, picking up all the alcohol that had been left there from your “party” on Friday.

    If you knew any better, you would have stopped her sooner.

   Now was a little bit too late for that as she squeezed your thigh for the tenth time that night, body leaning to your side as she rested her head on your shoulder. She rambled about something you couldn’t make sense, complaining about how she couldn’t understand how everyone was so messed up around her.

   As far as you figured, she fought with someone.

  Maybe more people.

  It could also be about a baby or a small animal? Really, you weren’t following it anymore.

   “… And you were right!” She hiccupped. It could also be a laugh. Maybe a sob? You looked at her blankly, not expecting to understand anything by now, just too lost to keep trying to get what she was saying “Congrats!” She giggled, throwing her hands up.

   “Thanks” You answered anyway, patting her back. She chuckled again ─ slapping you lightly as if you had said a great joke ─ before she resumed crying, covering her eyes with her hands as her body jolted with her hiccups. You widened your eyes, startled at the roller coaster of emotions she was riding for the night, adjusting yourself so you could sit with your full body turned to her, cross-legged on the couch.

   She mumbled something confusing, and you held her shoulders firmly so she would look at you. She didn’t, so you shook her body gently, and this was enough to make her take her hands away from her eyes and look at you inquisitively.

   “That’s okay… Everything is going to be okay” You assured her, even though you didn’t know what the hell you were reassuring her about. She didn’t seem to buy your words (and you couldn’t really blame her for this), pouting to hold back her tears. Her lips quivered, brows knotting as her eyes glittered with her tearing up. Oh boy…

  “They hate me” She stated sorrowfully. The first statement you could understand. And it was enough to fuel you with new hope of being able to help her somehow. You tightened your grip on her shoulders, inviting her to look at your eyes, which she did, and you locked your gaze with hers with the most serious feature you could gather.

   “Of course they don’t” Who were they? It didn’t really matter. You maintained your gaze stern enough for her to believe your words, and finally, she sobbed, nodding in understanding. You let out a relieved sigh, letting go of her shoulders “It’s all good now, okay? Tomorrow morning we can talk to them and everything will be fine” You promised.

   She wouldn’t even remember what you said by tomorrow morning.

   “How did you know?” She asked sadly, looking into your eyes like a lost puppy. That was a great question because you didn’t have any idea of what you were supposed to know at this point. So you arched your brows, looking like a deer in headlights, stuttering to get your words out.

  “W-Well, wasn’t it obvious?” You offered, uncertain, and she seemed to buy it, sighing in disappointment. She nodded, shrugging right after, the pout never leaving her lips. You fought back the urge to sigh in relief, settling for exhaling slowly, afraid she would realize you didn’t know what was going on.

  She stared at you for a few seconds, blinking repeatedly, deadpanned.

  You just wished she was drunk enough to not realize your obliviousness.

  “Thank you…” She muttered, kneeling on the couch. You looked at her confused, the frown you had dissolved quickly into a startled ─more to desperate, really─ expression when she put her hands on your chest, close to your shoulders, supporting herself. You gulped down as she leaned closer, knee coming to the gap between your shin and your crotch, brushing slightly against your lower half.

   Not that you particularly noticed it.

   Because you didn’t. Really.

   “You’re a great friend” She giggled, hands sliding from your chest to entangle your neck, pulling you into a hug.

   You couldn’t point out what it was exactly.

   Maybe it was her arms involving your neck, fingers playing with your hair. Maybe it was the drowsy smile she threw your way, too soft to your heart. Maybe it was the way she rested her head on your shoulder, facing the crook of your neck. Maybe it was her hot breath fanning over your skin, making you shiver.

   Maybe it was her knee brushing against your dick.

   Yeah, it was definitely her knee brushing against your dick.

   But you felt something in the pit of your stomach.

   You swallowed dry, slowly leaning back in a vain attempt to get some space but she just came along with you, resting her body on top of yours as you trapped yourself under her weight. Well, of course, lay back couldn’t be a good idea for the moment. She tightened her grip around your neck, adjusting herself on your lap to be more comfortable.

   The issue was that her being comfortable meant her legs on each side of your body.

   Her legs on each side of your body meant she was straddling you.

   Oh, dear God, if you really exist—

   You couldn’t even finish your thought as she moved her head, lips too close to your earlobe. You inhaled sharply, holding your breath and shutting your eyes as you clenched your jaw. She hummed, satisfied at her positioning, exhaling a hot breath right over your ear. You could feel her warmth emanating, consuming your body in each inch of skin in contact.

   “Hm… Y/N?” You risked in a string of voice, opening your eyes slowly to fix them on the ceiling. She hummed against your neck and her breath was starting to get to your head. You wouldn’t say which one “What about we go sleep, hm? Sounds nice?” You offered as if you were talking to a child. She whined, displeased by your suggestion. Apparently, she was way too comfortable on your lap.

   You swallowed dry again, closing your eyes slowly as you felt her changing her position once again. Why, Lord, couldn’t she find a damn good position and stop grinding against your dick? That was a poor choice of thoughts. As soon as you let your mind wander down there, you held back a whine, throwing your head back to pray for mercy as you got more conscious about what was happening to your body by the second.

    It was impossible not to feel the blood rushing down, hardening your dick against your will. At the same time, the blood seemed to rush up, making you all flustered, even if she was too drunk to notice it now. She didn’t seem to mind your bulge ─she probably wasn’t even paying attention to it─, and some sick part of your mind wished for a split of a second that she could just sober up out of nowhere and mind it.

    Maybe mind it enough to the point of helping you out.

    Nop! You didn’t just think this.

    Okay, Okay Okay.

    Cool, Cool, Cool.

    You definitely shouldn’t be thinking like this! You should be gathering all your strength and willpower to push her away from you. That was what you were supposed to be doing right now. But what if she started crying again? Or maybe even worse! What if she just decided to do something else? Like keep moving nonstop… She was clingy as fuck right now.

   Another poor choice of thoughts.

  You definitely didn’t let your mind wander around the mere mention of the word fuck. Not at all. Especially because she’s your friend now. Do you remember this? Friends? Like just friends? You were sure the word friend stood up for that one you’re not allowed to fuck. In Latin. Or whatever. Whichever language stated this, it was right. That was the exact reason why you were in peace right now. The non fucking friend peaceful state. Totally fine and unfuckable. Like friends.

   Cool.

   Fine.

   Perfectly unaware of grinding bodies and their effects on your lower half.

   Please, God, let me out of here.

   As if on cue, you heard the door being unlocked. You threw your head back to watch it, ready to beg Chan for his help. She didn’t move an inch, staying attached to you like a koala. Chan opened the door, locking it behind him before turning around to really look at the couch. He flinched, staring blankly at you before amusement filled his eyes by the second.

   “Please help me out” You pleaded, making the best puppy eyes you could handle to do. He made his way to the TV, standing in front of there before looking for something in his pockets. When you saw his phone in his hands, you let out a whine, glaring at him as you silently asked for mercy.

   “There’s no way I’ll let this chance slide” He shrugged you off, and you just knew he had taken those photos. Great. Would you ever live it down? Chan’s voice seemed to awaken something inside Y/N’s head, so she adjusted herself once more, lifting her torso a little bit to look at her friend with a drowsy smile.

    The slow movement demanded some weight shifting, and, of course, she shifted it all to your lap. You groaned, hand going to rub your face, refusing to look at Chan right now. She laid down again on your chest, giving up on being friendly and settling for being sleepy. Lord, couldn’t she just decide what she was going to do?

   “You don’t seem too bothered by it” Chan teased, a smirk on his face and an arched eyebrow made it clear he didn’t intend to help you out right now “I would even risk saying that you’re enjoying quite a bit” He added, and it was impossible to bear his smugness.

   “Look, I have a hot chick up on me right now… Can you really blame me? Also, she’s your friend! You should be concerned and helping her out, okay? I’m your friend too! You could give me a hand!” You complained, and you knew you screwed up when his smirk morphed into a grin.

  “Oh? A hot chick?” He teased, and you closed your eyes in regret.

  “I mean a chick” You corrected but it was too late.

  “Yeah, but a hot one” His voice dripped with a knowing tone that made you open your eyes again, looking at him in defeat.

  “No, just a chick… Listen, can’t you give me a hand?” You cried, looking expectantly at him. Chan seemed to wonder, hand going to cup his chin as if he was in deep thought, eyes narrowing before fixing on you in a silent mockery.

   “Sorry, I don’t really like boys” He apologized obnoxiously. You could punch his face right now. Was this the guy you wanted to keep being friends with and fought over with Y/N for? Great deal! “So I can’t really give you a hand… You’ll have to deal with it for yourself” He sighed in mock guilty, making your blood boil. You clicked your tongue before grimacing at him, hands trailing to Y/N’s hips, getting his attention, sharp eyes fixing on your hands like a hawk.

    “You know what? I may have to get off…” You agreed, voice dripping with venom as you approached your lips to Y/N’s ears “Wouldn’t you give a helping hand to your friend?” You whispered in a tantalizing tone, loud enough for Chan to hear and finally snap at the situation.

    Y/N nodded ─ oblivious to your fake intentions, and smiling cutely at you, ready to help you out with whatever you needed ─, and you felt almost guilty to play with Chan like this as he strode your way upset. You held back your laughter, watching as he took her away from your lap, helping her to balance herself and guiding her arm around his neck as he tried to get her to his room in a stumbling mess. You sighed in relief as you realized that she wasn’t in your lap anymore and you survived this awkward moment, sitting on the couch and fixing your lost gaze straight ahead, pondering.

    You weren’t naïve.

   Y/N never had caught your attention as a woman… She was just that annoying friend your best friend had. She was like that constant presence in your life reminding you that you couldn’t get the spot you really wanted, and you put effort into being the same for her. For years. Those years seemed to culminate in a battle-worthy tension between the both of you that was slowly melting through these last weeks, and yet you felt stiff around her.

   And you didn’t mean stiff like you were now.

   It was almost like there was an invisible force preventing you to get closer to her, keeping both of you apart even though you had been trying to be friendlier lately. Sometimes you felt like you had to knock to get in, and sometimes you felt like she was already opening the door for you. There was a constant feeling of not knowing if you were too much or enough, sometimes if you were even needed.

    You never felt like this with another woman.

    It wasn’t like you were in love with her or something like this! It was just that if you intended to have Chan being part of your life, you had to allow her in. She had to allow you in. And as much you were allowed inside a lot of women throughout your life, this was a totally different matter. You were always the desirable one… Women wanted you, craved for you. It was as simple as that. They came for you and you came for them ─ quite literally, to be honest ─, and then you never exchanged more than a few words with them later on.

    It was easy.

    Your relationship with Y/N wasn’t easy…

    You were growing fond of her (You really were!), but you felt always on edge as if anything you did could put everything at risk. You wanted her to like you… Maybe ask you for lunch instead of simply parting ways when she involved you in her stratagem… Or maybe actually wanting to lie down on the grass and spend some time with you while watching dramas… Or maybe just letting you pay for stuff, just like Chan did.

    You wanted to be her friend.

    You craved for being accepted into their bubble, and yet you still felt… Off. Like you didn’t belong with them. You knew you were being ridiculous, and Chan said that to you thousands of times, but what could you do? That was how you felt. Anxious. Tensed up. Stressed out. And all that tension, all those pin-up emotions gurgled out of you like… Like you were a teenage boy with a girl sitting on your lap for the first time in your whole life.

    You were frustrated.

    You could see she was a woman! Of course, you could! You weren’t blind, right? The issue was that you only knew a single way of ultimate bonding with female beings… Sex. You groaned as you felt your friend twitching inside your pants, throwing your head back on the couch as you stared at the ceiling once more. What would be better for bonding than sex? Nothing that you were aware of until now…

    Your train of thoughts was interrupted by a loud grunt from Chan, and a dull thud reached your ears, prompting you to get up and go to his room; peeking over the doorframe to find Chan sprawled over her. You chuckled, crossing your arms as you leaned on the doorframe, shooting him a teasing look before he glared at you, trying to brace himself but being held tight by her to the point he couldn’t move. Y/N had her hands around his neck and legs around his hips ─ looking pretty much like a koala ─, eyes closed and mouth agape as she began to make her way into Morpheus's arms.

   “She’s pretty drunk” You pointed out, and Chan gave you a mocking surprised grimace, groaning as he tried to get away from her arms but failing as she only wrapped him tighter as he moved “It looks like someone is enjoying themselves” You smirked, and Chan rested his forehead on the pillow, chin brushing Y/N’s shoulder, before sighing and lifting his head to shoot you a pointed look.

    “At least I don’t get a boner!” He sneered, trying to at least roll to his side “Good Lord…” He cried, muffled by his pillow once again as he buried his face in distress, unable to roll “Why did you let her drink that much? I just wanted to have a good night…” He whined, face still hidden from you.

    “She had a fight with someone, I guess” You explained “She just kept drinking and rambling… To be honest with you, I didn’t get anything she said” You admitted, chuckling as he lifted his head once more, turning his face to you with a pout “Try to talk to her tomorrow morning… Maybe evening? She’ll wake up with the worst hangover she will ever have” You grimaced, watching as she snored, already peacefully sleeping.

     “Thank you” Chan mumbled, and you arched your brows in surprise, tilting your head in confusion “It means a lot to me… Seeing both of you getting along, you know? Also, you let her in and listened to her…” He frowned as if he was thinking twice about his statement “Well… Even if you didn’t really pay attention” He laughed “It still means a lot to me that you tried to take care of her when I wasn’t around” He cleared his throat, uncomfortable.

    “What are friends even for?” You gave him a small smile.

    “Certainly not to get a boner for” He answered with a smirk, and you rolled your eyes, groaning “We will totally talk about it in the future” He chuckled, eyes glinting in amusement “I won’t let you live it down, I swear to God!” You turned off the lights, sighing as you reached for the doorknob in an attempt to end this conversation “Hyunjin” He called, his tone suddenly firm.

   “Hm?” The door creaked as you opened it a little, allowing the light to softly illuminate his features, revealing a deadly serious mien.

   “I don’t think I even need to say that… But don’t you dare touch her as you do with other women” He warned dryly “I’m being playful about this because I know you didn’t mean anything by it... But if you play around with her for even a second–“

   “I can’t even think about fucking her” You lied, chuckling “She’s all yours, buddy… I just want to be friends” At least, this you meant for real “I didn’t have much time to release my frustrations with all those assignments, and exams coming up” You shrugged “I’m just a little bit hornier than the usual” You laughed, trying to reassure him.

   “Just keep it inside your pants” He said kinda jokingly but you could still hear the silent threat under his tone “She deserves someone who loves her… And unless you have something new to say to me…” You snorted, shaking your head to deny the suggestion.

   “No, I don’t” You assured him, observing how he tried to roll to her side once more, finally succeeding and letting out a relieved sigh, “Now let me sleep, will ya? I’ve already been kept up long enough by your protégé” You joked, closing the door as he adjusted her to his side, trying to get a better position to sleep.

   “Goodnight” You heard him muttering when you closed the door.

   “Goodnight” You answered, even if you weren’t sure it was meant for you.

                                                                    ////        

   You woke up with morning wood.

   You groaned, pressing your palms against your eyes as you felt the shame wash over you ─ crushing you against the mattress and making you sink in your bed, devasted ─ before your rested your hands on your chest and fixed your gaze on the ceiling. You bit your lip, glancing at your groin as you wondered if it would be that bad to take care of it… You weren’t doing anything wrong, right? It was perfectly normal to get hard to the thought of… Of what? You couldn’t even remember what you had just dreamed.

    You slid your hand down your body cautiously, closing your eyes as soon as you felt your palm against yourself, gasping. You had to contact some of your hookups someday, it wasn’t going to do you any good to keep thirsty like this. You pinched the waistband of your boxers, ready to slip your hand in and get rid of your problem before the door opened with a creak. You jolted your body up, hand snapping back to the mattress as you swiveled your head to confront the intruder, meeting Y/N’s gaze as soon as you turned around.

    “Oh! Morning” You blurted out, startled. She came into your room without your permission, closing the door behind her and locking it, turning around to look at you with coy eyes before biting her lips. You gulped down, scanning her from head to toes “What do you want?” You asked warily, licking your lips as she made her way to your bed.

    “You” She muttered under her breath, leaning in your way “And I think you want me too” She whispered, palming you above your pants, enticing a groan from you. The moment was insanely bewildering, and you could only gasp as she slowly passed one of her legs to the other side of your body, lowering her body to sit right on your groin. You shot your hands to her hips, holding her down so she couldn’t move, feeling your throat go dry as you looked into her lustful eyes.

    Holy fucking shit.

    “Look, I promised Chan I wouldn’t lay a hand on you…” You tried to reason but your thumbs rubbed circles on her hips unconsciously, and you had to use every single fiber on your body to not just squeeze that flesh and throw your friendship out of the window. She chuckled ─ something closer to a low purr than actual laughter ─, fingers going to your lips to shush you on a sexy motion that could have made you lose your mind with any other girl.

    But not with her.

    You couldn’t lose your mind with her.

    “So don’t use your hands” She whispered against your ear, hot breath sending a shiver down your body “I’ll do all the work for you…” She nibbled your earlobe as she placed her hands over yours, guiding you to squeeze her hips before locking her fingers with yours, pulling your hands above your head to pin your down “… Hyunjin” Her voice sounded like dripping honey, warm and full of sweet promises that you were more than up to take.

    “We can’t be loud” You gave in and she smirked against your jaw, placing an open-mouth kiss there and tracing a path to the crook of your neck “H-He can’t know…” You added, voice trembling when she lowered her kisses to your collarbone, biting on your skin at the same time she rolled her hips, making you grunt.

     It was like your moan was cloistered inside your chest, ready to be all let out now that you had her above you. She chuckled against your skin, adjusting her hold on your wrists to tease you with her other hand ─ her nails on a featherlike brushing down on your body ─, enticing one more groan from the depths of your chest.

     “I’m not the one moaning like a bitch in heat, am I?” She asked amusedly.

     Yeah, she really wasn’t.

      You know what? Fuck it.

     “I think we should change that” You suggested in an alluring tone before yanking your hands away from hers to hold her waist and invert your positions. You hovered over her like a predator to his prey, letting the sexual tension between both of you build-up to the point it was hard to breathe. You leaned closer to her, taking your time to tease her, getting off on how she withheld her breath, expecting your next motion “Be as loud as you want… I’m about to fuck your brains out of you” You smirked against her ear, letting your breath spread there just enough to make her shiver before sucking on her neck to get the most lustful moan you have ever heard.

    Good girl.

    Your phone blasted your ringtone for dear life.

    You jolted your body up as you shot your eyes open, looking around the place to make sense of what was happening. There was no one to be seen under you, or above you, or anywhere else for that matter. Holy fucking crap… You had a wet dream. You brought both of your hands to your face like you were about to pray for some forgiveness, but you just inhaled deeply, utterly in shock at what had just happened.

    And your phone had no respect for your embarrassing moment.

��   You reached for your phone like it was your worst enemy, taking the call without even looking at whoever was calling you on a Saturday morning. You pressed the button and slid it to the side, bringing the phone to your ear, spitting an upset “Hello”, and prepared to send this person to the ends of hell if it wasn’t the most fucking important thing in the whole world.

    You shouldn’t be so enraged by this situation, and some part of you felt ashamed for your reaction. Were you upset because someone was calling you early in the morning? Or were you upset because this call interrupted your dream? You cleared your throat, dropping the thought as soon as it flickered in the back of your mind.

    “—Hello? Hyunjin? Are you there?” Paris’s voice sounded through the line in a worried tone “Hey? Hyunjin? Did he hang up on me?” She mumbled, confused, and you took the moment to clear your throat once more.

    “Hey! Yeah, Hyunjin speaking” You sighed “Why are you calling me this early?” You whined, and she scoffed on the other side.

   “It’s noon” She pointed out in a judgmental voice “Also, is Y/N with you guys? Did she sleep there?” You could tell the expectation under her voice was a mix of frustration, fear, and hope, and as soon as you hummed to confirm it, she let out a relieved sigh “Oh! Good!” You waited for a second but she kept silent on the other side, just her breathing assuring you that she was still there. You pursed your lips, unsure if you should just end your call, before her breath halted, catching your attention.

    Paris was acting strangely.

    “Why didn’t you call her?” You asked suspiciously and she withheld her breath as if you had just caught her red-handed “You guys fought, didn’t you?” She hummed, clearly embarrassed, so you let out a tired huff “Do you want me to put her on the phone?” You asked tiredly, and she gasped on the other side.

    “Would you do this for me?!” She beamed, making you chuckle.

    “You can build me an altar or something” You joked, getting up from your bed to head to Chan’s room “I’ll warn you that she drank like a son of a bitch yesterday… She’s having a hangover for sure” You stated, knocking on Chan’s door and waiting for him to answer you “Hold on” You asked, covering your phone.

   “Come in!” He shouted before you could call him, and you opened the door to meet a shirtless Chan closing the bathroom’s door behind him, holding a towel around his waist before fixing it. He shot you a curious look, ruffling his hair with another towel and making water droplets splash everywhere, unbothered. You roamed your eyes around the room, looking for Y/N but finding only an empty bed with messy sheets “What is it?” He asked bluntly, arched brow questioning you.

  “I’m looking for Y/N, Paris wants to talk to her” You explained, showing your phone to him as if he could read it from the other side of his room “She’s not here?” The answer to it was clear ─ unless she suddenly went invisible ─, but Chan didn’t seem to mind it. He gestured mindlessly to his side, pointing with his thumb to the bathroom before hanging his towel around his neck and looking for some clothes in his closet.

    “She’s taking a bath” He answered distracted, studying his collection of exactly the same black blouses “Maybe ask her to call later… Y/N didn’t wake up on the right foot today, to be honest” He mused, picking up one of his shirts and putting it back without a second thought “She didn’t even let me take care of her” He added, finally settling with a black shirt that had no difference to the last one he had pulled, smiling satisfied at it.

    “Hey, she’s in the bath” You said monotonously to Paris “Yeah, maybe call her later?” You suggested, nodding as she thanked you, saying goodbye to finish your call. You lowered your hand, holding your phone next to your waist as you stared at Chan, who seemed to notice your awkward behavior, choosing to ignore it to search for black sweatpants to combine with his black shirt.

  “What? Do you want me to strip for you or something?” He laughed, tossing his clothes on his bed as he headed to the drawer to search for some underwear “If you’re curious about them, I don’t know anything either” He shrugged, picking up his underwear and turning around to face you “She slept like a baby last night and we didn’t talk much this morning” He chuckled, staring the bed with an amused look.

    You could tell.

    “Look at this… She’s like a wild animal” He pointed to the sheets, chuckling, and you grimaced. Too much information, buddy. You hummed, nodding to acknowledge his statement but keeping silent, shrugging and turning around to get out of his room. You hesitated for a moment, turning around once again before coughing to get his attention.

    “Try to talk to her when she comes out… I think she would listen to you better than she would to me” You suggested, biting your lips “I mean, it must have been pretty serious… She cried a lot last night, and Paris didn’t even know she was here” He tilted his head at your statement, seeming to ponder something.

    “I have known her for a long time…  I don’t think anything I can tell her now will make her call Paris if they fought that badly” He admitted, crossing his arms over his chest “I can certainly try, though” He added quickly, heading to his bed to fix the sheets “I’ll talk to her later… Let her have her moment, for now, I don’t think she’s feeling well enough yet” He concluded, sitting on his bed to look at you.

    “Yeah, of course…” You nodded, motioning to get out of his bedroom “Do you want some coffee? I think I’ll make some for me” You offered, and he frowned at you in confusion, tilting his head to the side.

    “You don’t drink coffee” He stated matter-of-factly, arching his brow.

    “Of course I do!” You scoffed, sounding fake even to your ears, and averting your gaze from him.

     “No, you don’t… I live with you for ages, Hyunjin, I am the only one who drinks it in this house” He inhaled sharply in sudden realization, letting a smirk slowly spread through his features “Actually… I may know one more person who likes to drink it” You didn’t need to look at Chan’s face to see that he was mocking you silently with that I-See-You-I-Know-You look, brows arched and eyes glinting in amusement.

     “I’m just trying to cheer her up a little bit” You muttered grudgingly “Isn’t it what friends do?” You returned your gaze to him, and he smiled sincerely at you, nodding as his eyes softened, his playfulness dissolving into gratitude.

     “Yes, it is” He agreed “Thank you for taking care of her… I’m glad you guys are getting along well" He admitted, glancing at his clothes before looking at you “Though I think you’re being too attentive since yesterday” His smile turned into a teasing grin “Be careful to not fall in love, horny boy” He mocked, and you groaned in embarrassment.

     “Let it go” You pleaded, rolling your eyes in faux exasperation.

    “Make me some coffee and I’ll think about it” He retorted, making you chuckle and nod as you closed his door with a jokingly ‘Yes, sir!’, making your way to the kitchen. You took a pan to fill it with water, leaning on the sink to watch the water flowing from the tap; the typical sound it made as it hit the surface making you uncomfortable. You grimaced, closing the tap and letting it rest on the oven, setting it to boil the water as you made your way to the bathroom.

    You opened the door mindlessly ─ too lazy to go to your room and settling to go to the corridor’s bathroom ─, giving one step ahead before gasping and letting go of the doorknob in shock. You felt your airways block as you met the very too same thighs that held you in place earlier in your dreams, eyes wavering upward to her face and trying to ignore the amount of exposed skin that made you bit your lips. Y/N snapped her head at you, hands tugging down the shirt she was just finishing o put on, an attempt to hide her body from your eyes.

    What the hell was she doing here?!

    You closed the door with a slam, feeling your heart race inside your chest as you leaned on the closed door, hands going to check your heartbeat as your mouth fell agape. Wasn’t she in Chan’s bathroom?! What the hell was she doing there?! Holy fucking shit… It was just a female body, for lord’s sake! Nothing new under the sun. Yet, it was just a female body that you dreamt about... One that you were willingly going to fuck on your mind not too long ago.

    The scene played on your mind once more.

   Thighs that you would like spread apart with your own hands… A belly that you would kiss every inch until you reached for the very spot between her legs that for a split of a second made you gulp down, not so dryly as you thought about it… A neck that seemed like the perfect place to leave your marks… A face that you never thought you would like to corrupt… And eyes…

    You frowned.

    Eyes red and swollen that belonged to someone who has been crying.

    “Y/N?” You hesitantly knocked on the door, resting your head on the surface as you waited for her answer that never came “Are you okay?” You asked softly, paying close attention to any noise that she could make.

     “Y-Yeah…” She answered after a while, and you were sure she sniffed, probably wiping her tears away as she spoke up, a choked voice that didn’t let you any doubts “I’m fine” She added more firmly now, and you sighed.

     “Can I come in?” You asked, uncertain of what you were doing, and she remained silent for a while.

    “N-No” She finally answered, a weak string of voice that made your heart pang.

    “Are you dressed up?” You turned around to rest your forehead on the door, waiting for her answer with your hand on the doorknob.

  “Yeah…” She sighed in defeat, and you didn’t wait to open the door, walking in her direction.

  She hugged herself as if her arms could pull her together, head slightly tilted down as she raised her gaze to watch you making your way to her. She looked broken ─ red eyes and bloated face showing that she had been crying for a while ─, trembling like a deer caught in headlights and hunching her back in a way that made her look small, probably just as much as she felt right now. You approached her, embracing her body silently to give her a reassuring hug, feeling how she tensed up under your hold.

    “Do you want to talk about it?” You asked, and her hands moved to your waist hesitantly “I know we’re not really friends, and you probably prefer to talk to Chan…” You trailed off, suddenly feeling like an intruder as she held the sides of your shirt. You felt all the blood running out from your brain, afraid she would just push you away on the spot, but she didn’t. She held your shirt tightly ─ face contorting for a split of a second when she did ─ but she didn’t pull you closer, staying like this into your hold.

    “What are you talking about? We’re kinda friends… Aren’t we?” She asked unsurely, refusing to look at you. She rested her forehead on your chest, and you inhaled sharply as she did, startled by her question.

    “I mean… Yeah? I think… Yeah, we kinda are” You agreed, floundering with your words. She relaxed into your arms, hands sliding to tangle around your waist, pulling you closer to her into a vulnerable hug that dissolved both of your tension. You tightened your grip around her, resting your chin on the top of her head before stroking her hair gently “Paris called… She wants to talk to you” You offered, unsure if it was a good call.

     “She did?” Her tone was surprised, and she lifted her head to look into your eyes, head-butting you in the process. You closed one of your eyes, in pain, scrunching your nose as you looked at her “Sorry!” She blurted, hand shooting to your chin to study the damage she could have caused. You opened your eye, watching as she tilted your head to each side to take a better look at your face, admiring her worried features for a bit too long before clearing your throat.

    “I’m okay” You muttered, gently holding her wrist to take her hand away from you, noticing how she winced in pain. You frowned, taking a look at her hand to spot a swollen and dark bruise that extended over the side of her palm, starting from the base of her little finger and down to her wrist. You returned your gaze to her eyes, worry plastered over your face, and she averted them from yours in embarrassment before you took her hand in yours, caressing it carefully “What happened?” You asked as she squirmed under your touch, face twisting once again.

  “It’s nothing serious… I—“ You rolled your eyes, guiding her to sit on the toilet and leaving her for a second to take some ice pack on the fridge. When you returned, she eyed you curiously, making a surprised face as you took her hand once again to place the pack on her bruise, instructing her to hold it in place “It’s okay! You don’t have to worry, it’s just –“ You ignored her once again, opening the bathroom cabinet to look for some bandages.

      “I’m not really good at this” You lied, taking the elastic bandage and looking at her flabbergasted features “What? Can’t I treat your wounds? I may not be a doctor-to-be like Chan but I can ice pack your bruises, okay?” You muttered grudgingly as you sat down on the floor, facing her with a subtle pout that you hoped she didn’t notice “And yes, she did call you” You changed the subject, propping your elbow on your knee and resting your cheek on your palm “You guys are going to be okay… There is nothing that could pull you apart” You promised, and she averted her eyes from you, ashamed.

  “I was an ass to her” She sighed, and you tilted your head to take a better look at her eyes, prompting her to look away from you.  

    “Then apologize” You stated, nudging her with your foot so she would return her gaze at you, making her huff before looking at you.

    “She was an ass to me” She lowered her gaze before fixing her eyes on yours, a wary expression over her face.

    “To the point that you’d never want to talk to her again? Was it enough for you to give up on her?” You asked sincerely, and she shot her brows up, shaking her head vehemently.

    “No! Of course not” She said eagerly, and you chuckled, leaning forward to pat her knee.

    “Then forgive her” You offered her a small smile.      

[dearest-bucky]

One kiss is all it takes (One Shot)

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Requested by @softcobain - Where reader who’s Bucky’s best friend ask him to teach her how to kiss bc she really wants to impress a guy she’s going on a date with? But Bucky is totally in love with her, at first he doesn’t want to but then he agrees.

Words: 3.8K

Warnings: angst, fluff, one first detailed kissing scene lol

A/n: Because tumblr is apparently dumb I can’t tag the sweetheart that requested this, but @softcobain I really hope you like this love! 💕 Guys I got goosebumps while writing this, I hope y’all like it too.

Feedback is greatly appreciated! xx

The door of her small apartment made a small squeaky noise as she pushed it open. She wasn’t all that surprised to find it open, her key once again useless. The only noises in the otherwise quiet apartment were coming from the TV that was left on, some detergent commercial playing in one random channel. She turned on the small lamp next to the couch that she usually used to read at night, and smiled as the figure that was sleeping on her small and uncomfortable couch was illuminated by the soft light.

She crouched down next to him and softly touched his hair, making him stir in his sleep. “Hey sleepyhead, what are you still doing here?”

He opened one eye and when he was met with her face, a small smile crept onto his lips. “Hey, you’re back. Thought I’d wait up for you but apparently I failed at that too.”

She chuckled at his words and patted his cheek lightly. “Don’t worry about it. I’m here now.”

Bucky offered her a shy smile and got up in a sitting position, making space for her to sit on the couch too. “So, how was it?” He asked after she sat next to him.

She remained silent for a moment, as if she was thinking hard about the answer, but there was a smile plastered on her lips and a dreamy look on her eyes that kind of told Bucky everything he wanted to know. The answer, despite it not being said, was shown, written in her every feature. She finally turned her head on the side to face him, and then replied. “It was great. He asked me out again on Friday.” Her smile never faltered, but as she looked at Bucky’s reaction her eyes narrowed a little in curiosity.

He nodded at her words and fixed his stare down, unable to look her in the eye anymore. He cleared his throat once and then without even looking at her again, got up from the couch. “That’s great, if you’re happy then I’m happy too. It’s better if I go back to my apartment now. Good night Y/n.” He didn’t even spare her another glance and left her apartment in a hurry, not even allowing her the time to wish him good night too. He slammed the door closed behind himself harder than he intended to and that made him wince, but he wasn’t about to go back and apologize  for that.

With short but quick steps he arrived at his door on the other side of the hall and when he entered his apartment, without even realizing, he slammed his door shut too. He knew he had no right to be mad at her for going out on a date with somebody else, but he simply couldn’t talk his broken heart down. He’d been head over heels with Y/n for years and now having to see her date someone that wasn’t him, it was damn painful.

How could he even begin to explain what he felt for Y/n? Truth is he didn’t even remember how it all started.

After the Avengers defeated Thanos and Steve went to the past to get his second chance in life, Bucky chose to not stay with the rest of the Avengers at the new Avengers’ compound. Instead, with the help of Sam he bought a small apartment in Brooklyn where he’d been living for the last four years.

Y/n moved in her apartment on the other side of the hall only a couple of months after Bucky. When she was moving her furniture in, Sam, just like the perfect wing man he is, managed to introduce Bucky and Y/n, claiming they’d be neighbors so they needed to know each other if one of them ever ran out of sugar or flour. Bucky had scowled at Sam in annoyance but Y/n had only giggled at the new Captain America’s words and shook Bucky’s hand. “He’s right.” She had told him. “You’ll never know when one could need the help of a superhero.”

He had blushed then, at her words, and a smile had replaced the previous scowl.

That day they had both helped her move in, carrying the heavy boxes and the furniture. After everything had been put inside her new apartment, Sam and Bucky excused themselves and wished her a good night, seeing it was dark outside already. She had thanked them both for their help and when they were on the hall, she called out to Bucky. “Don’t be a stranger.”

He had smiled at her and nodded his head.

Ever since that day they’d spend many more days together, hanging out at each other’s apartments, but mostly at Y/n’s because she, as Bucky put it, had the better couch, despite the fact that it was smaller than his, but he enjoyed sitting close to her and watching movies and eating chinese takeout  almost every night. Eventually those nights became an every night occurrence, and without even realizing, Y/n and Bucky had become best friends, helping each other with everything, relying to each other, taking care of each other whenever one was sick, mostly Y/n. She even managed to help him calm down after a nightmare when he had knocked on her door at 3 am sweating and crying in pain.

In the last four years they had become almost family to each other.

Despite her very friendly nature, Y/n was actually very shy when it came to romantic relations. So whatever feeling Bucky started developing for his neighbor/best friend, he buried deep inside his heart, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable. Because he knew there was no way someone as perfect as her would even like back someone like him.

Now he had to stand by and watch someone else take her out on dates and make her happy, when that could’ve been him.

With a heavy heart Bucky laid down on his bed and closed his eyes, a long sigh escaping his parted lips.

Bucky didn’t see Y/n the entire upcoming week. She was busy with her work and he spent most of the days at the compound, training for the next mission.

Days had been passing slowly and he missed her so much every passing  minute, especially on the evenings when they’d be almost cuddled up next to each other on her couch and binge watching whatever Netflix series was on his “to-watch-list”. He wanted to knock on her door but he couldn’t find it in himself to do so. After all she had started seeing someone now so he didn’t know if she still wanted him to go over.

It was almost 6 pm on a Saturday when he heard the hesitant knocks on the wood of his door and he moved lazily through his apartment to answer it. He was surprised to find Y/n on the other side of it.

She was wearing a nice dress, perfect for the warm weather of May evening and even more perfect for her. She looked absolutely breathtaking, but the almost panicked expression written all over her face made him break out of his stupor sooner than he would’ve wanted.

“Hey, Y/n. What’s up?” He spoke a little awkwardly, not knowing how to act around her anymore. It seemed as if it had been an eternity since the last time he saw her. Usually when she came over, she never knocked and she would always greet Bucky with a hug or a kiss on the cheek, but that seemed like a long time ago, and somewhat an inappropriate thing to do now.

She greeted him with a small smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes and asked him if she could come in.

“Uhmm, yeah yeah, sure.” He said, a little confused, but moved on the side to let her inside his apartment and closed the door again.

He saw her move towards the living room, but she never sat down, standing awkwardly in the middle of the small space between the couch and his coffee table.

“Is everything alright Y/n?” He asked then, unable to bare the silence anymore.

She picked her head up and looked at him, a look Bucky couldn’t quite understand. “I need your help.” She finally spoke. Her voice was unsure, even a little shy when she spoke, but he heard her loud and clear.

“Sure, doll. What can I do for you?” Always the hero. Always trying to help. Always helping.

She remained silent for a moment, as if wanting to organize her thoughts well and then she finally started speaking again. “So you know I’ve been talking to this guy for the past month..” she began and Bucky noticed how she was picking up at the skin of her fingernails, a tick of nervousness he knew she had. He moved closer to her and placed his hands on hers, stopping her assault on the fragile skin that had started to bleed a little already.

“What about him? Is everything okay? Is he bothering you? Do I need to kick his ass?” His mind was running a million miles per minute, thinking of the worst case scenarios, but she only shook her head lightly in response.

“Everything is okay with him. He’s great. It’s just…” She hesitated a little before she continued again. “Last night we went out and at the end of the date he walked me home and when he was saying goodnight he leaned in and wanted to kiss me and I turned away so he ended up kissing me on the cheek.” She explained, blushing a little and Bucky was listening to her every word intently.

“Tonight we’re going out again, to the movies this time and this is the third date and I’m thinking we should kiss, right? But I don’t know.” She concluded and let go of his hands that were holding hers, moving to the couch and finally sitting.

Bucky followed her lead and sat too. “You don’t know what?” He asked. If she were unsure about this guy she shouldn’t feel obligated to kiss him. She didn’t owe him anything. She should know that.

But Y/n surprised him with the next words she spoke. “I don’t know how to kiss.” She said and a crimson red painted her cheeks after the words had left her mouth.

Bucky could only stare at her, a little shocked at the confession and that only made her feel more embarrassed than before. “Forget it, this was a stupid idea.”  She said when he took a moment too long to reply and she tried to get up from the couch, but Bucky finally came to his senses.

“No, please doll.” He spoke softly and she sat down again. “I’m sorry.” He continued. “You took me by surprise, that’s all. I mean, how is it possible that you don’t.. you know.. know? How to kiss?”

The entire situation was embarrassing and awkward and they both were wishing the ground would open and swallow them whole.

Y/n felt her cheeks aflame by the embarrassment she was feeling. She knew it was a crazy idea to come to Bucky about this, but he was her only friend.

Despite the fact that she was 26 years old she was an introvert and she didn’t have many friends. Except for Bucky who was her best friend, she had another childhood friend back in her hometown but she was too far to come and help Y/n with her situation.

Her entire life she had avoided people as much as possible, especially boys and men. She never had a boyfriend in her life and she never even kissed a boy before. That’s why she was in  Bucky’s apartment now, asking him for help.

“I just..” she stuttered a reply. “Never kissed someone, so I don’t know how..” Her words were spoken in an almost hushed whisper, still mortified from the situation at hand.

“Okay, so you need me to…?”

“To teach me how to kiss.” She said matter of factly but she regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. They had sounded better in her head than they did when she said them out loud, but there was no way she could take them back now.

Bucky’s eyes widened at her request but he composed himself quickly. He was a highly trained assassin for God’s sake, he knew how to mask his  emotions, but apparently not around Y/n. “I can’t do that!” He finally exclaimed and he watched her face fall after those words. “I mean, it’s not fair to you.” He was quick to add and Y/n looked back up at him. “It’s your first kiss and it should be with someone you have feelings for. Not with me.”

“But Bucky…” A sound of protest left her lips. Those rosy and pillowy lips that he had wished so many times to kiss and that were now asking him to do so. “I’m going to be so embarrassed when he tries to kiss me again and I just stay there. It will be terrible if I just froze in the spot, you know.” She was trying to reason with him as much as she could. “Please? I kind of like this guy and I don’t wanna look stupid in front of him.”

“Doll. You could never look stupid.” He replied, still not saying anything about her request.

He wanted to give in and kiss her so much, but he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to stop once he started. His heart and his mind were in war at the moment.

“Please Buck?” She tried again. “You know I wouldn’t ask this of you if it wasn’t really important to me.” She pleaded and Bucky knew who won the battle inside of him. How could he refuse those lips that he had dreamed of for several years now? How could he refuse her pretty eyes, giving her that sad puppy dog look he absolutely adored? He simply couldn’t. That’s why he found himself slowly nodding his head in response.

“Okay, okay doll. I’ll help.” He said and she nodded back to him, a small smile forming on her lips. “Just one kiss to show you how it’s done.”

“Okay.” She replied and he let out a long breath at the sight of her looking so hopeful now, and beautiful, always.

They turned their bodies to face each other and Bucky cupped her cheek with his flesh hand. Ever so slowly he started closing the distance between their faces, until their noses were almost touching.

Y/n had closed her eyes and was waiting for him to place his lips on hers, but she could only feel his soft breath tickling her lips, but not touching them.

“Relax, doll.” She heard him say and her shoulders sagged a little, finally free from the tension she’d been holding in. “Just go with it and let it happen.”

She was ready to say something when she finally felt his lips touch hers, so softly she thought she must be dreaming it. With the same softness he started kissing her lips, slowly, gently, just like a breeze touching the leaves on the trees. He slowly coaxed her lips to part and she quickly complied, allowing him to deepen the kiss a little, feeling the kiss a little more. He was caressing her lips with his, happy to finally be able to do so, his flesh hand holding her cheek while the metal one moved to her hair, carding through her silky locks.

Too soon for his liking she ended the kiss, but she didn’t back away from him. Her eyes were hooded and her lips still parted when she whispered his name. “Buck..”

It was all he needed to delve in again for another kiss, this one more passionate. He couldn’t hold back anymore, coaxing her mouth open with his tongue, kissing her lips with a passion that was about to burn him entirely. He had been holding back for too long.

The hand in her hair gripped the locks tightly in between the fingers and he felt her let out a small moan against his mouth at the action, which only spurred him to kiss her more. Tongues hugging each other and teeth clashing with each other, biting and kissing and licking lips, starved for each other.

Her hands had found home in his shirt, bunching the material in her fists as she reciprocated his kiss with everything she had.

They had been so lost in each other, not even considering about stopping, until the phone in her pocket ringed and she whined lowly in Bucky’s mouth in annoyance.

“Forget about it.” He spoke between kisses but the device continued ringing until they were forced to part away from each other. Y/n had an apologetic look in her eyes as she fished the phone out of her pocket and she visibly winced when he saw the name on the screen.

She waited a moment until she fixed her breath before answering. “Hi, Andrew.” She spoke, not looking at Bucky anymore. “Yes, I’m ready. I’ll be down in 5 minutes. Okay.” She hung up the phone and finally looked at Bucky again.

He had an unreadable expression in his face while he was still trying to catch his breath from the mind-blowing kiss they just shared.

“I’m sorry. My date is here, I have to go.” Y/n said and waited for Bucky to say something, anything, but he just nodded his head and got up first from the couch, moving to the front door and opening it for her.

She got up too and walked out of the apartment, unable to say another word to him. When she finally reached the door of her own apartment and was entering it, Bucky finally decided to break the silence.

“You’re a quick learner Y/n. Kiss him like that and he’ll be yours forever.” She wanted to laugh at his words, but she just turned her head back and smiled sadly at him.

“Thanks Buck.” She said before he closed the door and entered his apartment again.

This is it, he thought as he sat back on his couch. The same couch where less than 5 minutes ago he was kissing the woman he loved. He should’ve stopped her. He should’ve said something. Asked her not to go on that stupid date with stupid Andrew. But he didn’t. He couldn’t. Because he was a coward.

Besides, if Y/n felt something for him, after that kiss she sure would’ve said something too. But she didn’t. She just got up and left to go on her date with another man, leaving Bucky behind with swollen lips and a broken heart.

It was less than three hours later that she finally came back. Bucky heard the keys jingle out in the hall and he knew she was back. She was probably coming back home with her date, he thought, but he was shocked to see her open his door and enter his apartment instead.

She seemed hesitant as she walked inside his place, finding Bucky slouched on the couch, a half finished bottle of whiskey in his hand.

“Bucky?” She called his name cautiously and he picked up his head to look at her. The same dress from before, except this time she was wearing a denim jacket over it too. He stared at her for a while, simply admiring her beauty, cursing himself for not being enough for her.

“Are you drunk?” The question left her lips without thinking. She knew he couldn’t get drunk, but when she saw him like that it was the first thing that came to mind.

“You know I can’t get drunk doll.” His reply was court and composed. “How did it go? Where’s your date?” He then asked her, despite the fact that he had no interest in knowing the answer to either of those questions.

She moved to sit on the couch next to him, the same spot he had stolen her breath away with one kiss a couple of hours ago, and she couldn’t think of nothing else except for that kiss. “It was okay.” She spoke mechanically, staring at his face. In her mind she was still kissing him.

“Did you kiss him?” Another question he didn’t want to know the answer of but he couldn’t help but ask it. Her only reply was a nod, but it was enough for Bucky to understand what she meant.

He slouched his head, dejected, broken, not wanting to be near her anymore. He had lost her.

“Yes, I kissed him.” She spoke a second later and Bucky wanted to tell her he understood that from her nod. “But I realized his weren’t the lips I wanted to kiss me, the lips I wanted to kiss.” She added a little breathlessly.

Bucky fixed his eyes on her, this time waiting with curiosity for her to continue. That she did. “I never wanted to go to that date after the most amazing kiss of my life, but I didn’t want to be rude to Andrew, so I thought I’d give him a chance, because he was a really nice guy.” She let out a small breath before she continued to speak again, Bucky patiently and curiously listening to her. “The entire time we were out I was still thinking about a certain set of lips that managed to set me on fire. And I thought to myself, it’s just because it was my first kiss. I’m sure if I kiss Andrew it will be even better, because I like Andrew. So I kissed him, but there was nothing. I was still searching for a different kiss in him. I was still asking to feel another man’s lips on mine.”

The bottle of alcohol he’d been holding in his hands, he placed it carefully on the coffee table before turning his body to the side to fully face her. “Doll, what are you saying?”

She let out a small sigh before answering, looking him dead in the eye. “I’m saying I don’t want to kiss anyone else beside you.” She confessed and it seemed that the world came to a stop.

He moved to get closer to her, this time both of his hands cupping her cheeks, inching their faces so close to each other once again. “Are you sure?” There was a slight tremble in his voice when he asked the question, but there was none in hers as she answered “Absolutely.” before locking her lips to his and kissing him like there was no tomorrow.

Their mouths continued the exploration and their hands found homes in each other’s bodies.

Bucky was so happy he could die. He kept kissing her like his life depended on it and between kisses he managed to speak. “Good, because I’m planning to kiss you for the rest of my life.”

[yanderecandystore]

Reader is alone in their room throwing a rubber ball against the wall which at one point rolls away but is returned to them. Looking up they see a single eye ball, Buddy is slowly making themselves visible again. Buddy is covered in healed scars and wound. A soft whine and a wag of a tail. Black and Red pop in for the daily check up and see whats going on Remeber self care is best care :o - Cold Anon

Thanks for caring for me Cold, but like- You really do be breaking my heart with these beautiful angst concepts ;^;

TW/Tags: Feels (angst lol) // mentions of animal abuse // d r a m a (also a little different from what you originally thought off-) // cursing // plot twist that was pulled straight out of my ass- (I can't blame y'all if this seem boring or uninteresting lol, but it was the only plot twist that I felt like it was fitting).

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Broken smile [Yandere!Among Us x Reader - Headcanon]:

Can you imagine your shock at seeing the familiar eyes looking at your own with nothing but relief and sorrow? Can you imagine seeing your little warrior walking inside your room slowly and clumsy due to his wounds.

You jump out of bed and go hug your best friend, despite knowing fully well that he hasn't recovered fully from whatever hell he clearly went through. He was anticipating the impact but it still hurts him despite his best efforts to hold it in-

You haven't come off of your bedroom that day, most of the crew was too busy to notice that you weren't doing your tasks, but of course they would notice before everyone else-

"- Babe, have you seen [Y/N] anywhere? I have a feeling we haven't talked much."

"- That's because we didn't. They haven't gotten out of their room ever since this morning-"

"- What?? Black, you should have told me sooner, come on, we need to see if they're okay- Wait!"

"- W-What is it??"

"- Where…. Black, where is M.Red?"

Instead of going straight to checking how you were they decided to search for their child since Mini Red just suddenly disappeared-

They eventually found him, and scolded the young child for giving both of his parents a heart attack, when asked where he was, M.Red said something quite surprising:

"- I was playing doctor with the doggie!"

You heard loud bagging on your door, you didn't really expect anyone to call you so late, they probably noticed you haven't attend to any of the tasks in the spaceship (although let's be honest, you're more surprised it took them 24 hours to notice that instead of realizing your lack of presence sooner-).

You recognized that friendly family that you have grown to appreciate over the past month, Red and Black has been nothing but sweet with you and M.Red is such a energetic kid-

You didn't want to get out of your room, so instead you welcomed them in, and as soon as their eyes looked at the medicines and the space canine laying on top of it all covered in wounds, they understood what happened.

He came back. The stupid dog came back, yet in their hearts there was nothing like hate or anger at the sight of the severely damaged dog.

No, on the contrary, there was pity inside them mixed with somewhat of a relief.

Well, don't get me wrong, they hate your dog still, he is nothing more than an immense rock in their path yet there is something so, well, "heartwarming" about seeing you reunited.

It's so fun to see their loved one so happy even if it's because of… That dog.

You didn't come out of your room at all that day, you just wanted to be with your friend and take care of him, you took first-aid kits on medbay to take care of his untreated wounds. Buddy came back all patched up yet whoever did it clearly didn't do a good job at it in the first place! You were glad someone at least tried to help, yet there was something very worrying about his condition-

If someone tried to fix him up, it was because he was hurt in the first place. Buddy is a smart boy yet he wouldn't be able to properly recover those wounds on his own.

So when you brought the topic to them, you didn't expect a small hand be raised in such a excited way- M.Red was so proud of his work despite the fact he doesn't know anything about treating a wounded space animal, and honestly he didn't care- He saw it all as a fun game, in his eyes finding the dog in such a small and convenient finding place was nothing but a fun game, he not only found a good hiding spot to play hide and seek with Black, but also the dog, which he only saw as a toy.

To put it promptly, Buddy was waiting to die by the hands of the gremlin child, yet he was delightfully surprised to see the child so excited about helping him get his wounds treated, despite the fact they did it for their own twisted little amusement. At least the kid liked him more than his parents did.

Both of his parents were hesitant in letting you know that their kid had found the dog before you did, since it could be considered kinda weird for their kid to be able to find your dog in a isolated tiny spot of the spaceship that was completely off the cameras view and only accessible by the ventilation system- They lied about their child randomly founding the dog walking around instead of actually founding the filthy thing's hiding place.

No one can go in the vents unless they were small or a shapeshifting monster, and their child just happened to be both at the same time-

Either way, after finally being reunited with your dog, everyone expected things to go back to normal, even Buddy seemed tired of this nonsense, yet things never did go back to the way they were.

It was interesting how much of an impact you had on your crew. People didn't give you that much attention, yet whenever you changed your behavior it seemed to take over the entire mood of the ship. You may be thinking I'm exaggerating, yet it's not hard to believe it, is it?

After all, think about it, your dog just came back hurt from something that has done a great deal of damage to him. Something or someone made him hide away from everyone else so he could catch a break.

Buddy was a brave boy yet he was careful enough to see when a fight wasn't worth fighting. Buddy ran away and managed to hide for so long, he must have seen something or someone that was capable of scaring him from even coming back unprepared.

You mentioned that at your meeting and everyone seemed shocked at your claims, and even more surprised by how you sounded so… Angry. You sounded like someone that was calm now, yet was holding enough anger to fight anyone if not everyone in the cafeteria if they gave you the smallest hints of being the one that has hurted your doggie.

Even though he was kinda weirded out by your demeanor, the poor thing thought that he had caused you so much pain that him coming back wasn't the best thing he should have done. You were the same person as when he ran away, yet you sounded so mad…

And you rightfully were. You have been beating yourself up and feeling depressed thinking your sweet boy has died and when he comes back he is wounded to the point of not being able to walk properly. You have every right to want to beat the shit of whoever did this, even if they weren't human to begin with.

You felt like you had every right to judge every single person sitting in front of you, anyone in this room could have hurted Buddy and you knew it. The arguing was so strong that you had to be calmed down by Red, Black and Buddy at the same time.

One person in particular seemed to be pointing you out as "obviously the killer" that has orchestrated this whole charade as a way to throw everyone off, you almost did slap a bitch that day-

Others seem to understand your condition. You literally just lost your dog and he came back all bloodied and wounded. You were hurt and pissed at whoever the culprit was, even if you weren't sure of who it was.

And there was a strong intuition indicating that maybe the culprit that hurted your dog, was also the monster going around killing your crewmates. But sadly, Buddy has also changed after the incident.

Buddy didn't seem to recognize who.was the culprit, and if he could have blamed Red and Black, he knew that it was neither of them that had attacked him. Someone else has taken him by surprise, and was smart enough to cover their scent and human disguise, so he wouldn't recognize them if he managed to get away. Which he is glad he did, yet he is afraid he won't be of any help this time around.

He could blame Red and Black, since clearly they were going around killing everyone, but he somehow knew that they weren't involved with his case. He felt like it would be unfair to put the blame on them for his case in particular, they should still be thrown off of the spaceship but not for him.

But for all the different people they killed along the way.

And also… Maybe he did feel pity for the child, maybe he just felt like he was in debt with the kid for helping him out- Maybe if the circumstances were different he could have been friends with the little rascal (if the child had also decent parents and a therapist-).

You seemed to have noticed how Buddy hasn't openly barked at anyone, how he hasn't pointed anyone out yet, which was a little disheartening since it meant that this would be a lot harder than expected, yet you hadn't given up yet, you were determined to make justice for your dog, for everyone that had died.

Some of your crew were with you, some weren't, yet you didn't care at all- You would make sure to take care of your boy with more love and affection, you won't let this happen to him ever again.

And while you had found some sort of hope from this situation, Red and Black were concerned if not freaked out at the idea that someone else had started a hunting spree, and apparently with you and your dog as their target.

Red had asked their son if he was the one to hurt the canine, yet he said that he found him like that, hurt and bleeding. Black was feeling anxious as he couldn't smell the scent of someone of his kind hiding in between them, I'd they were also disguising themselves, it meant that they were being extra careful by flooding themselves with extra scents to blend in with everyone else.

This was way more than concerning, it meant they were in danger, you were in danger! And the culprit was being one step ahead from everyone else, since they have probably already found out about Black being an alien that has also invaded the ship, and that Red and M.Red were involved with the killings.

There were apparently three imposters among your crewmates.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Okay sorry Cold, but now I noticed that although I tried to compile your both asks into one, it feels like I may have not done the best ;-; I'm sorry. I could totally redo it and make the Reader sick and all- If you wish boo

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

[thegreatestofheck]

Nothing to Prove ✦Pope Heyward✦

(gif not mine! All credit to maequil!)

Word Count - 2196 Warnings - Nothing. Fluff. A smidgen of swearing, underage drinking Synopsis - Pope helps you with some relationship problems. Later, while hanging out with your boyfriend, you realize that running from your fears got you nowhere and the only place you wanted to be was with Pope. Tagging - @o-b-x​ A/N - This man is so beautiful and deserves so much more hype I love him and Pope so much. This is mostly fluff, with a smidgen of angst in there (what’s a fic without angst, i dont even know). Sorry if it’s bad, lol. Stay safe, stay healthy, stay groovy!

The music blasted through the warehouse, echoing off the concrete walls. You bounced around to the beat, throwing your arms in the air and silently singing along with the lyrics. You stopped your jumping to play your air guitar during the guitar solo. 

You spun around, holding a cucumber as a microphone. Your eyes snapped open at the sound of a cough. 

Standing in the doorway was your boss and his son, your best friend, Pope. 

“Mr. Heyward,” you said, dropping your hand and hiding the cucumber behind your back. “Hi.”

You tried to smile, but your face burned with embarrassment. Heyward stood there with his arms crossed, an eyebrow raised, and just the barest of a smile on his lips. Pope was hiding laughter behind his hand. You were tempted to throw your cucumber at him. 

“You know I love your air concerts as much as anyone else,” Heyward said, uncrossing his arms. “But I really need the stock inventoried.” 

“Yes, of course Mr. Heyward. Sorry.” You slid the cucumber back into its box. 

“Don’t stress about it, Kiddo.” Heyward walked past you, dropping a hand on your shoulder. “Just get it done.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

As soon as Heyward was gone from the warehouse, you dropped your head to your chest, hands covering your face. Pope finally let his laugh out and it echoed through the warehouse almost to the beat of the music. He pushed himself off the wall and walked over to you. 

“That was really embarrassing,” he said. You looked up at him, face still beat red. 

“Tell me about it.” 

The two of you let yourselves laugh it out. Once you could finally breathe again, wiping away a tear, you met Pope’s eyes again. 

“Let me help you with this,” he said. You shook your head, crossing your arms. 

“No, Pope. It’s your day off. You don’t have to stay here and help me,” you said, turning to you clipboard. 

“Well, I’m going to anyway.” 

You rolled your eyes, but a smile played at your lips. 

“I don’t know why your dad thinks you listen to me.” 

Pope didn’t say anything, he just got to work. You spent the next few hours inventorying together, telling joke and laughing about silly, stupid things, like you always did together. 

You had been working for Heyward since you were 13 and had been friends with Pope every since. He was the one who introduced you to the Pogues who eventually became your best friends. But Pope was your rock, your solid ground. He was your voice of reason, your impulse control. When things were falling apart around you, he was the glue that kept you together. 

When your shift was finally over and the new shipment inventoried, you and Pope grabbed some lemonade his mom made and sat on the deck together, letting the sun warm your skin. 

“So,” he said, taking a drink. “Why were crying in the bathroom this morning?” 

You choked, lemonade dribbling down your chin. 

“Cry- I wasn’t crying in the bathroom,” you said and rolled your eyes. 

“Oh, so we have a ghost now?”

“No! No, I was just...” You took a long sip. “There was something in my eye.”

“You don’t have to lie to me, Y/N,” Pope said as he set his empty glass on the dock. You ran your toes over the water with a sigh. “I know you like to pretend that nothing gets to you, and that may fly at your house, but not here. C’mon, Y/N, you can tell me anything.” 

He bumped your shoulder with his and you tried to smile. Looking up, you squinted against the glare of the sun. 

“Elo wants me to sleep with him,” you said with a sigh. “But I’m not...that’s not something I’m ready for yet.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

You had been with your boyfriend, Elo, for only a few months. It wasn’t really anything serious. You went surfing together, went out to eat, star gazed. But you never really talked all that much. You liked him and he liked you and the feeling you had when you were with him wasn’t something you wanted to lose. 

You let out a deep sigh and hung your head again. 

“I just don’t know what to do.”

Pope put a hand on your shoulder and you glanced over at him. 

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” he told you. 

“I know that,” you leaned back, resting on your elbows, letting the sunlight rest against your stomach. “I know it in my head, but I’m afraid that if I don’t show him that I care he’ll...find someone else.”

“Y/N, you don’t have to prove anything to him,” Pope told you, turning to look you in the eyes. “If he doesn’t want you because you won’t have sex with them then he’s not worth your time.” 

Warmth spread through you, but you weren’t sure if it was from the sun or from that feeling you always got when Pope was around. 

“I guess so.”

“Hey, next time he asks. You put your foot down, alright?” Pope said. “Don’t let him push you around.”

“Alright, Poe.”

“Promise?” He held out his pinky. When you asked with your eyes if he was really going to make you pinky swear, he nodded at his little finger. With an eye roll and an overly dramatic sigh, you hooked your pinky around his and shook. 

“Promise.” 

***

The time came a lot sooner than you thought. You hung out with Elo again that night, nursing on a beer as he and his friends kicked a soccer ball back and forth between each other. Eventually, he came over to you and flopped down at your hip, his usual loose grin on his lips. 

“Hey,” he said. 

“Hi.” You leaned down and kissed him, but, for the first time since you started dating, you didn’t feel anything. There was someone else on your mind. 

“What are you thinking about?” He asked. You shrugged your shoulders.

“Just a long day at work.”

“That Pope guy giving you problems?”

“Pope is my best friend, Elo. He does the opposite of give me problems.” 

Elo rolled his eyes and took a drink from you beer. 

“I don’t think you should hang out with him,” he said as he put your bottle back in your hand. 

You reacted, pinching your eyebrows together. 

“Why?”

Elo rolled onto his side facing you, running a finger along your collarbone. You smacked his hand away and he scowled. 

“Because,” he huffed. “I’m your boyfriend and it makes me uncomfortable.” 

“I’m not ditching Pope just because it wounds your ego, Elo,” you said, pushing yourself to your feet. 

“Y/N, wait!” He followed after you as you walked toward his house. “Wait.” 

You didn’t really want to listen to what he had to say. You wanted to go home or, more accurately, you wanted to find Pope. But Elo followed you anyway, grabbing you by the wrist. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “Hey, I’m sorry. Forget I said anything.” 

“Elo, I want to-” 

Before you could say what you wanted to say, he pulled you toward him and pressed a kiss against your mouth. You scowled and pushed at his chest until he stepped away. 

“What the hell is your problem tonight?” He asked, glaring. 

“You! You’re my problem!” 

“It’s that Pope kid, isn’t it? He’s poisoned you against me?” 

“What? No!” You ran your hand through your hair. “This is about you showing me the respect that I deserve.” 

“When have I ever disrespected you?”

“Oh, I don’t know, every single time you’ve tried to force me to have sex with you. That feels pretty damn disrespectful to me.”

“Babe, c’mon. What do you expect from me? I have my needs-”

“Yeah? That’s what you think?”

“I mean, you can’t be upset if I’ve slept with other girls because you haven’t put the tiniest bit of effort into our relationship! You haven’t proven to me that you actually care.” 

Tears stung in your eyes. You didn’t know he had slept with other girls. You thought maybe he might have, but you never had it confirmed. It didn’t matter now. You didn’t care. 

“I have nothing to prove to you,” you seethed. “We’re done, Elo. Forever.”

“Babe, don’t say that.” He stepped forward and lifted a hand toward your face, but you stepped back, nose scrunched to keep the tears in your eyes. “Babe.”

“Next time you have a girlfriend,” you said, taking a few more steps backward. “Give them the respect they deserve, Elo. Or you’ll end up in this same position.”

You turned and started to walk toward your car. 

“Yeah, run away, Y/N!” He yelled after you. “Like you always do! Run back to your boy toy and push everyone else away, see where that gets you!” 

You forced the tears down until you were alone in your car, driving away. You could go home, but you told your mom you would be out all night. You didn’t want to have to explain. 

You sent a quick text to Pope, asking him to meet you at your usual spot. 

The waves were cold on your toes as you sat in the sand. You and Pope found this little alcove when making deliveries when you were fourteen. It was the place you both went to when you needed space from everyone else except each other. It was a shelter against the storm. The other Pogues knew about it, but they knew not to violate the sacred grounds. 

When Pope dropped into the sand beside you, you felt a chill run up your spine.

“It’s cold tonight,” he said, his voice a welcome sound. You nodded your head slowly, knees pulled up to your chest. “You okay?”

You looked up at him and gave a small smile. 

“Yeah,” you said. “Yeah, I’m okay. Elo and I weren’t going to last very long anyway.”

“I’m sorry it ended, though. I know you liked him,” Pope said, putting a hand over yours. Another wave of warmth washed over you. This time you knew why. 

“Pope, can I tell you something?” You asked. 

“Sure.”

“Promise not to think I’m crazy?”

“I already think you’re crazy.”

“Promise not to hate me then.”

“I could never hate you,” he said, his voice quieting. You let out a sigh and drew a little circle in the sand. 

“What if I said that there’s another guy that I like,” you said, slowly. You heard Pope sigh. 

“Already?”

“More like...still. I’ve liked him for a really long time, but I guess I was afraid of ruining what we already had,” you said. “What do you think I should do?”

You could see the gears in Pope’s mind turning. You begged him to understand silently so you didn’t have to say it out loud. When he let out a deep breath, you were pretty sure he knew what you were talking about.

“I think that if he’s someone you’ve known for a while, there’s no way he doesn’t feel the same way.” You felt your heart soar. “What would you do if he liked you too?”

Your heart pounded, not really noticing that the two of you were leaning closer together. 

“I would tell him that if he didn’t kiss me, I might have to change my mind.” 

Your words were breathless, whispering because he was right there, right next to you. Once his lips finally touched yours, you knew it was right. That feeling you had been running from yet simultaneously searching for was right here, with him. 

It didn’t matter how cold it was outside, because with his lips on yours, his hand on your cheek, you could feel nothing but warmth. He was like the sun, radiating heat and you were soaking him in. 

And when he pulled away, the warmth didn’t fade. It wasn’t like all the other times with all the other boys where, as soon as you were gone from them, you felt nothing. You knew this feeling would last. 

He didn’t try to kiss you again as you laid your head against his shoulder, the two of you looking out across the water. The moon and the stars sparkled over the ocean, shimmering like a thousand crystals. 

“My mom is going to be so excited,” Pope said, one of his hands still on top of yours. 

“Why?” You asked, glancing up at him. 

“She’s been asking me when we were going to get together for over a year now.”

You laughed, looking back to the ocean. 

“My mom has been the same way.” 

“Why’d it take us so long then?”

“I was the coward who ran away and you were the coward who wouldn’t follow me.” 

“Oh, jee, thanks.” 

You didn’t say anything else, but neither did he. And it was okay. You could just sit there with one of his arms around you and just...be. 

And you had nothing to prove with him. You didn’t have to be anyone else but yourself. That was all you needed. 

[conaionaru]

Honor and Blood (Ivar the Boneless)

You are my everything

Synopsis: Some pregnancy fluff, cute Ivar and good future grandma Aslaug.

Warnings: fluff, angst, cute Ivar

Tags

@youbloodymadgenius​ @shannygoatgruff​ @xbellaxcarolinax​ @heavenly1927​ @queenbeeta​ @lol-haha-joke​ @didiintheblog​

P.S. Everything in cursive is in Old Norse. Flashback are in bold and cursive.

I don’t own the gifs. Also, thank you for your support. I really appreciate it.

Vanya walked the streets with Aslaug by her side, as Brynja was off today cause her father grew sick. The two women walked by the forge where Ivar hammered steel and watched them pass by. Aslaug chuckled at his antics and apologized on his behalf. Vanya liked this side of Aslaug. 

Mostly when she saw the Queen, she had a cup in hand or asked her intrusive questions. But ever since her belly grew bigger, Aslaug held back on the alcohol. She spent more time with Vanya and shared tales from her own pregnancies. The Queen of Kattegat also told her of Ragnar. Vanya decided she wasn't that fond of the man who left his infant son in the woods to die. What kind of monster would do that? He didn't raise any of his sons properly; Bjorn left with his mother, and Ragnar abandoned his other sons. Vanya may not know his motives or him, but she felt for the Ragnarssons.

"When you are more along, we can find out if it will be a girl or boy. Or do you want it to be a surprise?" Aslaug questioned curiously, looking down at the cheerful redhead.

Vanya pursed her lips in thought before smiling. "I think I want it to be a surprise. Did you know they would be all boys?"

Aslaug nodded, seeing Hvitserk walking with Ubbe while stuffing his face till he looked like a squirrel. Ubbe shook his head at his brother's antics and lightly his him over his head, and Hvitserk hit him back. "The Seer told Ragnar he would have many sons, and they told me I would bear them. I would have like a daughter too, but the gods didn't grant me that. But now I have you, Love."

Vanya smiled proudly at the praise, feeling like she finally belonged somewhere. The Queen was more of a mother than Siflæd ever was, the Ragnarssons were like brothers to her who teased and supported her, and Helga and Floki were like an uncle and aunt. The people loved and greeted her every time they saw her, congratulating her on her baby and wishing her luck. Vanya found a home.

A child ran up to the two and held up a bunch of flowers for Vanya. The ginger beamed at the little girl and carefully took the flowers from her. "Thank you very much, Selby. They are beautiful. How are you?" She slowly crouched down to the girl's height as the cute three-year-old told her how they played at the beach, and she fell into the water. Vanya laughed at the girl's expressions and hand motions before the other children run to them too.

"Princess!" They screamed happily, asking her if the baby was ok if it kicked and if it would look like her or Ivar. "I hope it will be kissed by fire like you. I like red hair!" Vanya agreed with the seven-year-old boy with a wooden sword thinking of little Ivar's with red hair. It was a funny sight, indeed. 

The children felt afterward, and Aslaug helped Vanya stand, smirking at the lively Princess. "You are already great with children. You will be a good mother, no problem." 

They continued on their walk, walking by the shore in silence, both content with the calm atmosphere. "I would like to visit some farmers soon, thank them for all their hard work. Brynja mentioned a few farmers were having trouble with crops; I would like to see them and help them if needed."

"It is still baffling to me how much you interact with the people. Your King and Queens are not known for their kindness. At least not here." Aslaug's voice was so flat and calm; it surprised Vanya. 

"That is true, not many care about anything but the crown. But were are not in England. Here you don't sit on a throne and look down on them. You are amongst them, see them, hear them. It is only right we help them, show them we are not so different, and I am hoping it will make them forget I was a Christian once." Vanya confessed embarrassed about the last bit. She wanted to fit in with the Northmen, not be a foreigner who they have to respect cause she married their prince. 

Aslaug chuckled at the confession and took Vanya's hand in hers. "I came here pregnant while Ragnar was still married to Lagertha. She left, and Ragnar married me to legitimize Ubbe and all our other sons. I was a foreign Princess with nothing but a child in my belly, and yet, now I am the Queen of the trading center of Norway. You may be a foreign Princess, but that will change one day. The Gods always smile on brave women."

Vanya's smile was one of joy and pride; even her eyes reflected her emotions, exposing them for all to see. Aslaug was right, back home, Vanya was just a sheltered sister to the King; here she could be amongst the people, help them, find a place in the world for herself. Vanya wouldn't remain a foreigner for long; she could feel it in her bones.

The Princess returned to her chamber when the moon was high up in the sky, and one could hardly see in front of them. She and Aslaug got carried away talking and forgot to return sooner. They spoke of Aslaug's home, Götaland, of Harbard, who took away Ivar's pain and the Ragnarssons childhoods. Vanya told her about her father, negligent mother, cruel brother, and all he put her through. They comforted each other till the sun went down, and the winds grew colder.

Ivar sat at the table with his back to her, pouring a cup of mead to calm his nerves with his missing mother and wife. Vanya crept up to him and put her hands around his neck, startling him. "What are you doing?" He asked his shoulders tense coldly.

"My hands are cold." Vanya whined, grinning cheekily at his discomfort.

"I can feel that." Ivar pulled Vanya's hands away and sent her to sit down on her chair near the fire. He took her small hands into his and rubbed them hoping to warm them up faster. "How was your walk with mother?"

Vanya gave him a smile that just seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushes through him. He loved whenever she smiled at him, especially if she smiled because of him. It made him feel loved. "She is a great woman. A little bit pushy, but at least I know where you get it from."

"I am not pushy." He grumbled, pouting as Vanya giggled at his expression. 

"Of course not." The ginger teased, standing up from the chair and walking to the bed. Ivar watched her go, putting his cup down he followed her. He untied his legs and took off his shirt while Vanya changed into a nightgown. It was no wonder that she got cold; her dress was warm. It was pink with long white sleeves and a belt tied around her waist. He complained about the last part this morning, but his mother reassured him it didn't matter. She said the babe would be fine. 

Yet Ivar still feared for the babe, what if something happened? What if Vanya lost it? Or worse, what if it was born like him? He didn't want his son or daughter to know what the life of a cripple might be like. The laughter, the loneliness, the hate you feel towards yourself. Ivar's child should be healthy, run, and play with the other children, like Ivar himself never could. So he worried, not only for the child but for Vanya herself. Aslaug was in incredible pain giving birth to him; he was the worst of the pregnancies and births she had. He didn't wish that kind of pain upon his wife. What if she didn't survive that kind of pain, bled too much, and lost her life? He couldn't carry on without her. Ivar depended upon her love, touch, smiles; he couldn't lose either of them. 

A hand on his cheek snapped him out of his thoughts; his wife stood before him in a white spotted nightgown, looking worried. "I am fine. Get in bed, let's warm you two up." So Vanya slowly crawled into bed, her back against the headboard. She moved awkwardly, not used to the growing bump. Her back and breast ached sometimes, but at least she no longer vomited, which she was very happy about. His loving wife had a way of finding the silver lining within everything, no matter what, everything had a bright side. 

She put her hand on her belly and smiled at Ivar with her brows furrowed. "Come feel." The ginger whispered, pulling his hand towards her stomach. Ivar's shaky hand moved over the bump as the babe moved, while Vanya watched his face. His mouth twitched, and she was pretty sure he was fighting a smile. 

"It's so exciting, Aslaug said it will kick next month." She beamed her hand on top of his caressing one. He looked so content sitting there next to her, feeling the life they created together move inside her. He allowed the smile to be visible, or maybe he wasn't even aware that he was smiling at all. Vanya watched him in his content state; he looked so at peace, relaxed, and calm. Her own eyes were dropping sleepily, so she laid down and fell asleep. 

Ivar couldn't sleep just yet. The babe still moved inside, and he couldn't help but feel it move. It reassured him their child was alive and alright. "You will be glorious, my child. I can feel it. You better take after your mother, her smile, her mind, and heart." He laid his head next to Vanya's stomach and watched the bump as the child stilled.

"No one will hurt either of you. You are safe here, with your family. You will be loved and protected, like no other child in history." He laid his forehead against his sleeping wife's belly and closed his eyes. "You and your mother are my everything. All I have and all I am is yours."

A hand tangled itself into his hair as he sobs shook his body. "I love you, Ivar Ragnarsson." The sixteen-year-old Viking looked up at his smiling wife, who also held tears in her eyes. He crawled up to her side and connected their lips in a sweet kiss. They rest their foreheads against each other, looking into their eyes. A sea at storm meets the sky in the spring. One corner of Vanya's lips lifts as Ivar whispers the words back to her with sincerity and vulnerability. She snorts out a laugh that Ivar mirrors. It took four months, but they finally know the truth. They love each other, and nothing can or will change that. Not Sigurd, not Silas, not their faith or anybody. They are both whole.

[chaos-monkeyy]

State of Chaos

Hi folks! Been awhile since I did this (and I meant to do it yesterday, whoops.. *pretends it’s still Wednesday* 😅). 

So as usual, I’ve wound up working on a lot of random stuff instead of getting all the languishing WIPs done 😂 But I have wrapped up a few things! Also, it’s almost November and I have something I’ve picked to try doing for NaNoWriMo… It’s already making me nervous because 1,667 words a day is rather a lot AND my idea has way more plot than I usually write (still porn too though, fear not). Anyway, I have no idea how well it’s gonna go but I can at least give it a shot! So if it actually goes well, I’m unlikely to be posting as much fic for the next little while. 

Oh! There are a couple new fandoms in the mix now too. Namely, the Thrawn Ascendancy novel as well as Stargate Atlantis, thanks to an exceptionally fun rewatch with Leif and DD 😁 I’m just horribly fixated lately on John Sheppard and his should-be-illegal pants… and now Ronon is there too, I may not survive 🤤 Backstory, I adore stargate SG1 and Atlantis, grew up watching it, but this is the first time I’m watching any of it since learning about fandom sooo… I’m having fun lol

(p.s. In case anyone was wondering, my little dumbass cat successfully learned how to use her fancy feeder. It’s adorable watching her nose it open, and Unauthorized Greedy Pet is extremely put out any time he tries to go steal her food now 😆)

Assassin’s Creed 

Diletto 

Shelved for now— not abandoned, just haven’t been feeling the het smut lately.

The skills of Assassins 

I’ve gotten a bit stuck on chapter 4 of the Ezio/Mario fic for some reason, but I did make some progress on it! So that fic update is still coming, just… slowly. 

Other 

I started some Shaun/Desmond AC3 cavern sex but got stuck and haven’t finished it 🙈 Also vague outlines written out for potential sequels to both Not Here (Desmond wetting himself in the Animus) and Demands and Desires (AC3 HaythCon filth). And I have been poking at the Witcher crossover fic too! 

Posted 

Demands and Desires - HaythCon smut; contains incest and ManipulativeAsshole!Haytham. Explicit.

Ache - Drabble smut about Ezio jerkin’ it; 100 words for my 100th fic 🎉. Explicit.

Midsomer Murders 

MM x Wallace and Gromit crossover

I’ve been thinking about this one recently, I’m gonna try and get access to s14 and 15 of Midsomer and maybe start working at it again! It’s the most long-running WIP I have… Actual Story is HARD 😭🥺

Star Wars

The self-indulgent Chiss-human orgy fic 

It’s very close to being done! I’m hoping to get it finished up with Jewell before too much longer 😊😏 

[Title redacted] 

Still working on this filth fest with Rev. It’ll be done some day, we just have too much we want to put into it where is the brain-to-fic machine already dammit 😭

Other

Someday I intend to get that part 3 of the Pinned (Thranto) and the Stripped (Thrawn/Thrass) series written. I also have a plan for another Thrakif fic, too damn many plans to continue the Inappropriate Places pissfic series, and a delicious kinky little Thranto prompt still in my askbox here that I am definitely going to fill sooner or later 😏

Posted 

A Moment in Private - Thrakif smut; Cadet Thrawn getting off while fantasizing about General Ba’kif. Explicit.

A rare thing - Thrawn/Ziara fluff and cuddles ficlet. Teen and up. 

Breathless - Thrakif breathplay; prompt fill with lots of desk sex and light Dom/sub. Explicit. 

(Come) Ride With Me - Thrawn/Eli/Thrass smut. I finally finished the chisscest-y Biker AU!! Explicit. 

Discoveries - Part 1 of Eli peeing in inappropriate places and Thrawn getting turned on by it (well, so does Eli). Explicit. 

Zombie / what’s in your head - A rare angst-tacular Thranto fic. MCD and heavy subject matter. Mature. 

Stargate Atlantis

Nothing specific in progress; it’ll be whatever I get inspired to write as I keep watching through the show! My personal rule for these is that I can write whatever grabs my interest so long as I don’t take too long working on it 🙈 

Posted 

Of rituals and birthday presents - Sheppard / Keras implied-smut. Light-hearted stuff featuring aural voyeurism and a very flustered Rodney McKay. Teen and up. 

The smart thing - dark!Sheppard / Kolya, includes fear-wetting and noncon facefucking. Mind the tags. Explicit. 

The Witcher 

I don’t have much Witcher fic on the burner at the moment. Kinda waiting for s2 at this point, really, and someday I’ll play TW3 and probably get some more inspiration from there! I have been picking at the Witcher x AC Gerezkier (Geralt/Ezio/Jaskier) crossover with Levs, though! I’m slowly getting more comfortable with the smut-to-story balance as we work out where it’s going 😁. Other than that, I have a few things still kicking around my ideas list that I might pick up at some point when brain decides it wants to randomly start something new instead of working on WIPs. 

Posted 

Flagrant Indecency - I did manage to get the final chapter of this finished and posted for the Finish Your Fic deadline! 🥳💦. Explicit. 

Don’t Stop - Geraskier somnomo prompt fill. Juiced-up Geralt, somnophilia, and watersports; some consent issues. Explicit. 

[thesilencebeforeastorm]

Brave - Marco x Reader

(A/n) - This has been sitting in my drafts for a week lol. I still don't think its perfect but I'll let you guys decide that :) Modern!AU and angst.

~

Today was your day off from school and while normally you would have spent the weekend at Marco's place, all you wanted to do was stay in bed.

The sun shining through the window made you realize you forgot to close the curtains the night before, which wasn't helping your need to sleep. Looking at the time on your nightstand, it was 9 am. You groaned in frustration at the bright light and covered your face with your blanket until your phone vibrated. Reaching for your phone, you saw it was a text from your boyfriend, Marco.

From: Marco <3

Good morning babe

While you would have responded to him with some type of enthusiasm, you didn't even have the energy to do so. You were a different kind of tired today.

To: Marco <3

Hey

You closed your eyes afterwards in an attempt to continue sleeping in but your phone vibrated again.

From: Marco <3

Hey? You okay? It's not like you to respond like that.

Ugh

To: Marco <3

I'm fine, I'm just tired. 

What a lie 

From: Marco <3

Okay… well are you coming over today?

You thought about it for a few minutes. While you would have wanted to be with him, today was just one of your many low days that you were trying to hide from him.

To: Marco <3

Not today, sorry.

Tossing your phone to the side, you got up only to use the bathroom while you had a look at yourself in the mirror. Your hair was messy and knotted, your skin pale as ever. There were bags under your eyes and you had the most nonchalant expression ever. Sighing and then returning back to your room, you closed the curtains and got back in bed to sleep. You didn't even pay attention to the text you got on your phone.

From: Marco <3

Something isn't right. Heading over to your place in a few.

Babe?

You there?

You dozed off to sleep for a while…

Some time later

You awoke to the sound of a knock on your door and tried your best to ignore it by covering your head with your pillow. Whoever was knocking though was pretty persistent. Groaning in frustration, you got up and headed towards the door only to almost trip on some book on the floor.

"Fuck!", you said as you massaged your foot where it got hit. You looked around and noticed the mess you had but had no desire to clean it up. When you got to the door, you asked who was there.

"Who is it and what do you want?"

Damn, that sounded pretty harsh

The voice you heard on the other side was pretty familiar. 

"Uh babe, it's me Marco. Did you not get my text?"

What is he doing here?? What text? Ah fuck, he probably texted me again after I slept. 

Opening the door while squinting at the sunlight, you were greeted by your concerned looking boyfriend. He wasn't bubbly and happy like he usually was but wasn't upset either. He genuinely looked worried for you, especially taking note of the state you were in. He noticed your knotted hair and pale skin just like you had noticed earlier. You even wore baggy clothes.

"Shit, sorry. I fell asleep for like 20 minutes", you replied, thinking that you actually fell asleep for that long. 

"20 minutes? Babe it's 11 am. It's been 2 hours since I last texted you".

What the hell??

You looked at him with confusion in your face before looking at the clock in your house. Crap, it actually is 11 am. You rubbed your neck in embarrassment. "Sorry about that".

"It's okay but aren't you gonna let me in?"

"Well you're already here so you might as well come in. Watch your step."

What's with her today? Marco thought to himself. She really doesn't sound like herself at all. 

He took note of how dark the apartment was despite it still being day time. He made out the silhouettes of objects on the floor that you had warned him about and that you didn't clean up yet. Not wanting to be in the dark, he turned on the light. Now he could really see the mess. 

"Ahh" you groaned as the bright light hit your eyes. "Shut that off".

"But why, it's not time to keep sleeping anymore."

He really doesn't get it does he. 

"I don't care, shut it off".

Seeing that he wasn’t going to make an attempt to turn off the light, you headed towards the light switch to turn it off yourself before you tripped again over another book. Luckily Marco caught you right on time as you winced again in pain.

"Babe! Are you okay??", he asked you.

"Yea I'm fine", you replied, holding in the need to yell out 10 different curse words at once. "It already happened when I was going to the door".

He helped you get to your feet. "You can't have your place like this (Y/n). If I wasn't here right now you would have fell on the floor."

Sitting you down on the couch, he observed your foot to make sure you were okay before turning to you. 

"What's wrong with you today? This isn't like you. It isn't healthy to live like this or to be in the state you're in."

Ah yes, lecture time. Gotta love it.

"I really am not in the mood for a lecture right now, Marco", you replied, pinching the bridge of your nose.

"It's not a lecture. I'm worried for you. I can't stand seeing my girlfriend like this. What's wrong?"

"I told you I'm fine, I'm just tired", you replied, shooting him a glare.

"I know you're lying. Talk to me please. Do you not trust me?"

"What? Of course I can trust you. I just… I ju-"

Tears started to fill up your eyes as you couldn't fight it anymore. The entire time you spoke with Marco, no matter what you said, he never got angry with you. You could tell that he wanted to take care of you and to help you with whatever you were going through. Those puppy eyes he was using wasn't helping either. Any attempt to keep lying was thrown out the window.

He took notice of your sudden tears and pulled you in close to his chest as you sobbed. He ran his fingers through your hair as he gave you all time you needed to calm down. When you calmed down a bit, you pulled back, rubbing your eyes and looking down as you attempted to speak.

"I-I'm s-sorry Marco."

"Hey shhh, don't be sorry. It's not your fault. I just want to know what's wrong", he said.

You couldn't even face him. He never knew about your depression, wanting it to be something that remained hidden so that it wouldn't ruin your relationship. There was no turning back now though.

"I… I suffer from depression", you began. "I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to be a burden to or for you to feel pity for me… I didn't want you to think I was weak. I don't know why I feel like this but I just do… it's something that can't be helped."

He was taken aback by your words. Not only that but he became angry at himself for not noticing sooner. He was your boyfriend, he should have been there for you when you were hurting. How could you say all of those things about yourself?

"I don't pity you (Y/n)", he began. I don't think you're weak either. I think you're strong and brave actually."

You finally looked up at him, confused at his words. "Y-you do?"

He smiled. "Of course I do. You have these battles that you deal with everyday and yet you still put a smile on your face and keep going. I can't deny that I am upset at myself for not noticing sooner but I want you to know that you're not alone in this. I'm here for you always and I love you."

You smiled. You felt so lucky to have him at your side and now that he knew and he didn't pity you, maybe he could help you from time to time.

"I love you too, Marco…" you said. 

He kissed your forehead. "Let me help you (Y/n). For a start, I could help you fix up your place so that you aren't tripping over things."

"That would be nice… thank you. Do you think you can you help me fix myself up too? I look like crap."

He frowned a bit. "Don't say that about yourself. You'll always be beautiful to me".

~

Tagging: @paopufruittt @humanitys-hottestsoldier @final-fantasy-xv-nut

Masterlist

[babbushka]

Blue Moon (8/10)

New York, 1987. The air was filled with smog and the streets were ridden with crime. Just another day in paradise. Your quiet life turns upside down when a striking man moves in across from you. You’re falling, fast, into a love that could never, ever, happen…or could it?

(Could be interpreted as modern!au Kylo Ren/Reader for those who don’t know who Pale is, but really this is Pale from Burn This!)

Word count: 5.6k

Warnings: Angst lol (i’m sorry this is the last one i promise) 

                                                      —————

You were shocked. That was the only real word for all of it, shock.

Pale had collapsed in your arms, had fallen down and took you with him. You were both half on the couch, half on the floor, and you were shocked.

Your heart ached for Pale, ached for him and the way he had sobbed and cried and yelled. God he had screamed so loud, he was out of it, too far gone, too much to drink – who knows. You wish he had called you, had told you he needed you sooner.

It was moot, because he was here now, and he was blacked out, and you needed to figure out what to do with him.

The couch was too small for him, that was for sure. He was too tall, his legs too long. There wouldn’t be enough room for the both of yous, and you didn’t want to leave him alone, didn’t want to be so far away in the bedroom in case he woke up, scared and angry and confused.

“Okay Pale,” You said, mostly to yourself, “I’m gonna try and move you to the bed.”

He was out cold, smelled like shit – no, like booze. It made you wrinkle your nose as you tried to gather up this huge fuckin man in your arms.

“Okay – come on – ” You pushed and pulled him enough to get him somewhat into your arms, but you weren’t nearly strong enough to make it more than a few feet. “Shit!”

His dead weight was too much and you dropped him, wincing with the way he hit the floor.

“Shit, I’m sorry honey.” You whispered, waiting to see if he had woken up.

Thankfully it looked like he was still out.

“I don’t think I can make it all the way to the bed with you.” You sighed, running a hand down your face.

You were exhausted, working the double had really done a number on your patience. Your feet were aching and your back was all pinched up in knots, and you hadn’t even eaten yet. You were reheating soup when Pale had burst into the apartment like some great tornado of leather and tears.

You almost debated calling someone to help you bring him down to a doctor, who had he mentioned, Kenny? Maybe he could help. You didn’t know.

You checked the time, it was three in the morning. No one would be open, you thought with a sigh, and crossed your arms thoughtfully, trying to figure out what to do.

“If I can’t bring you to the bed, I’ll bring the bed to you.” You decided, leaving for your room for just a second, yanking all the shit off the mattress and carrying it in your arms to the living room.

You grabbed the sheet and the big comforter and all the pillows, even took the throw blanket and an extra one you had in the closet. You dumped it all onto the floor and began spreading out the sheets and blankets and pillows underneath him, arranging a makeshift bed that was more comfortable than the concrete floor.

You rolled him over onto his side in case he got sick and started peeling the clothes away from him. He had said he always ran hot, and you knew that from being next to him so long, you didn’t want him uncomfortable.

It was then that you noticed his bloodied hands sticking to everything as you tried to remove his shirt.

“Jesus, Pale.” You hissed with concern, immediately getting off the floor to go to your bathroom.

Your first aid kit wasn’t nearly as impressive as the one he had at his apartment, you knew that. You only had a couple normal sized bandaids and some alcohol wipes, but you knew he was going to need more than that, his knuckles were too busted. And he had just started to get them healed from when he was beating up Marty.

Sighing, you grabbed the kit and wet a soft washcloth with soap and water, and carried everything to the living room to tend to him.

“I might have to go to your apartment.” You told him, “Gotta go raid your medicine cabinet.”

You wiped up the blood off his hands, frowned at the way it kept slowly oozing out of the cuts from where he busted his fucking knuckles open. You wrapped the cloth around his hands, tied it tight so that it hopefully wouldn’t go anywhere, and started fishing around in his clothes for the keys to his apartment.

You found them in his back jeans pocket, and leaned down to kiss him real soft. He just snored.  

“I’m gonna be right back, okay?” You got up again, tugged on your coat and slipped into your shoes, “Don’t move.” You told his sleeping form, before heading out the door.

                                                       —————

It was bitter cold outside, and still damp from the rain. You didn’t like it when it was this kind of rain, when the cold froze the water on the ground and you had to be careful not to slip on the ice. You were glad you only had to go across the street, gad you only slipped once on the way. Black ice was a bitch, you thought.

The elevator ride to Pale’s floor was quiet, far too quiet for your liking. You had grown so accustomed to his never-ending monologues, it was eerie almost to be without him and in such silence. Maybe the city did sleep after all.

You got to his door in no time at all, and made a bee-line for the bathroom.

You hadn’t been in there the one time you’d visited with him, and you were unsure of where he kept his shit. The bathroom was huge, way bigger than yours.

You started searching through the medicine cabinet, finding not very much aside from Aspirin, condoms and coke, which made you huff out a little laugh. There was a small closet in the bathroom, and when you opened that up you were faced with all sorts of boxes of bandages and gauze, antibacterials and the like.

“Bingo!” You smiled as you started shoveling packages of gauze and tape and ointment into your coat pockets.

Geez, it looked like he had raided a fucking doctor’s office or something, you thought. He must have grabbed everything from one of his visits to Kenny. You wondered if he went to the doctor often, if Kenny was just a friend or maybe family. Pale didn’t talk a lot about his family.

That was okay though, you knew he had his reasons.

Leaving the bathroom you almost went straight to the front door, but when you were about to pass his bedroom, you slowed.

“Might as well grab him fresh clothes.” You decided. He had been soaking wet and smelled of blood and alcohol when he burst into your apartment. You figured if you were already in his place, might as well pick up some clean and warm comfortable clothing.

You flipped the light switch, bypassed the bed – even though it did look stupidly comfortable – and went to the closet.

How was his closet even this big? Or maybe your apartment really was just that small, you couldn’t help but sigh to yourself.

“Do you own anything not overly expensive?” You hummed, trailing your hand over the fine silk shirts and pressed pants. Past the suits and looking through the drawers of ties, you were getting close to giving up. Didn’t he own comfortable Sunday clothes at the very least?

You found them finally, in another drawer in the closet. You grabbed one of his black tank tops and a pair of black sweatpants, some clean underwear and socks.

You had a bit of trouble closing the drawer, and were getting frustrated with it.

“God, come on, fucking close – ” You grunted, eventually just yanking the drawer open all the way to see what was caught.

Right in the back of the drawer was a small box, barely the size of a shoebox, stashed behind the socks.

You knew you shouldn’t look inside it. You knew that. You should shuffle it around so the drawer would close properly, leave his apartment, and go back to your own to tend to Pale. His knuckles were bleeding right that very moment, you should leave.

You took the box out, went to the bed and sat down on it.

You weren’t really sure what you were expecting to be inside, but this…was not it.

Letters in envelopes and old black and white photographs mostly.

It was Pale, that you could tell. A young Pale, but definitely Pale. You smiled at how his ears stuck out the way he did. He was with an even younger boy, the two of them were hugging in the front lawn of presumably their childhood home. You flipped the photograph over – Jimmy & Robbie 1966.

Your heart clenched, holding the photograph up to your face so you could get a better read on it. Pale had to be about fifteen here, Robbie only two or three. You weren’t entirely sure of the ages, you were never good at being able to tell that sort of thing. But they looked happy, like they were having a lot of fun.

You put it down, picked up the next one.

This one was of Pale and Robbie, but a few years older. They were outside some sort of building, but there weren’t any identifying marks on it. Robbie was wearing black tights and a black shirt, Pale was in a tank top and pants that were high on his hips. You smiled, his ears still stuck out. Flipping it over, Jimmy dropping off Robbie for dance! 1968

There were so many of them.

Pale sitting at the kitchen table surrounded by sheet music, his younger brother coloring on it with crayon – Robbie helping Jimmy write 1969

Pale and his younger brother at a stand on Coney Island, chocolate all over his face – Jimmy and Robbie getting milkshakes 1969

Pale giving his brother a piggy back ride, Pale and his brother playing tag, the two of them riding horses and cutting vegetables and laughing and smiling at one another.

1969 is where the photos all seemed to be taken place, you wondered if that was a particularly good year. You wondered what happened when 1970 rolled around.

Oh – that’s right, married.

You put the photographs down.

“Oh what the hell.” You sighed, picking up one of the envelopes. You had already invaded his privacy, might as well go for it.

Jim,

I can’t do this anymore. I’m tired of being here – tired of you. Things were great but I’m bored, and I’m afraid of you. I don’t like the way you get so angry, a temper like that is bound to be trouble. I wish I didn’t wait so long to realize it.

I need some time, some space I think. Don’t be mad at me. I’ve taken the kids down to Miami, we’re going to stay with my parents for a while. I don’t want them around you, I don’t want them thinking your behavior is okay.

You probably saw this coming. I didn’t want to say anything in person because I didn’t want a fight. I hope you understand.

Don’t bother calling, I’ll reach out when the time is right.

It wasn’t even signed.

You didn’t know what made you feel worse, the fact that she had left that for Pale, or the fact that the letter looked so worn and crumpled up, like he had thrown it away and then fished it out of the trash, read it over and over again before folding it up and putting it back in its envelope.

The other envelopes were just holiday cards from the kids.

For whatever reason you decided to open up another drawer, found nothing but stacks and stacks of sheet music. There were ink blotches all over them, some had notes scribbled on the ledger lines, others just had notes written in hand-writing you couldn’t read.

Nothing was labeled of course, why would it be?

The rain started up again outside.

                                                       —————

Back in your apartment, Pale was still out. The washcloth had turned pink, but it didn’t look like it was still bleeding, which made you sigh with relief.

You pulled the rest of his clothes off, shimmied the sweatpants up his long fucking legs, tugged the tank top over his head and gently pulled his arms through.

The knuckles were your first priority, and you tended to them quickly and efficiently, your hands only shaking a little.

He stirred just a bit when the alcohol pad swiped across the cuts, but you powered through it, applying the ointments and then carefully laying down gauze, wrapping the stuff around his hand and taping it securely. It wasn’t the best, but it would have to do.

Your stomach growled, you still hadn’t eaten. You weren’t entirely in the mood for soup, didn’t want to take the time to eat a whole bowl of it, so you just pulled off a piece of baguette that you had and smeared butter across it.

You brought your makeshift dinner back to the living room, pulled off all your clothes, turned off all the lights and ate the bread and butter on the floor. You didn’t even care about the crumbs, just pushed them away when they fell. You’d sweep them up in the morning, when things weren’t so raw. Right now all you wanted was to be back in his arms.

“(Y/N)?” It was like magic, like he could read minds, you thought as he groggily called your name.

You shoved the rest of the bread and butter into your mouth, and shuffled yourself to lay down on the floor in the big cocoon of blankets and pillows with him.

“Yeah Pale, I’m here.” You said, and like he didn’t have to think about it at all, he immediately wrapped his arms around you. He was sweating, overheated, not that that was something new.

“Where am I?” He mumbled, his eyes still closed but pinching shut tighter. You wondered if the moonlight was somehow too bright for him.

You pulled back enough just to look at him, his face that looked like it was filled with unease, with suffering. You couldn’t tell if it was emotional turmoil, or the physical suffering of being so fucked up. Nonetheless, you pushed the hair out of his face and away from his forehead, combed your fingers through the sweaty greasy waves.

“You’re at my apartment.” You explained, trying to keep your voice soft and steady. You couldn’t help the wobble in it, still too unsure and panicked to really be calm. “We’re on the floor.”

“Okay.” Pale said.

His arms tightened around you even more, crushing you to him a little bit. He still hadn’t opened his eyes, you were wondering if he even could, or if he was feeling so out of it that his eyelids were too heavy.

“You okay?” You asked, wiping the sweat away from his neck with your hand. The pulse there thumped wildly, despite him being relatively still. It made you nervous.

“No.” He shook his head, and you had that same chest clenching feeling as you did when you were in his apartment.

“Can I help?” You asked, tried to keep the lump out of your throat.

“Let me hold you?” He asked, and you laughed just a little despite all the nerves and fear – he didn’t even realize he had you in a vice grip.

“Always, honey.” You nodded, smoothed down his hair.

                                                       —————

He went back to sleep, or maybe you thought he did. You couldn’t tell. He was so sad, it hurt you. You couldn’t stop reading the letter over and over in your mind.

I’m afraid of you. I don’t like the way you get so angry, a temper like that is bound to be trouble.

Pale wasn’t dangerous. Sure he had a temper, but it was always justified. He ain’t never done anything to you that would make you afraid of him. Even that time he had yelled, all that time ago, he was scared that you were going to be hurt, that something could happen to you.

Even that time, it had been because he cared about you.

“I’m not afraid of you.” You whispered to him.

He didn’t respond, but that was okay. It was all okay.

                                                       —————

The rain really came down hard outside.

It clanged on the fire escape something fierce, sounded like someone was dropping rocks on the metal grates. You thought off-handedly that you were glad you didn’t have any plants outside, like some of your neighbors. One of the people on the fourth floor kept damn near a whole garden on her fire escape, you wondered how the plants were faring in this weather.

You thought about what life would be like with Pale in the Spring. You wondered how he would dress in the warmer weather. Smiling, you tried to imagine him in shorts, or a t-shirt. You didn’t really see it happening in real life, but it was fun to pretend.

Pale in his shorts and a t-shirt, maybe even loafers for once, instead of those fancy lizard-skin boots. Maybe he’d help put on sunscreen all over your back and shoulders before going for a walk in Central Park. Maybe he’d wear a baseball cap at a Spring Training game.

You wondered who he rooted for, Mets or Yankees? You hoped it was the Mets.

You could see that now, the two of you getting really good seats, Pale probably knew a guy. Didn’t he know a guy for everything? You smiled, thinking about the way you’d share a soft pretzel, maybe a hot-dog. He could sip a beer and you’d drink a soda, and you’d jump out of your seat when someone would hit a home-run.

Pale wouldn’t cheer, but he might whistle, stick his fingers in his mouth and whistle in the way you’ve always wanted to learn how to do but could never get the hang of.

You sighed, brought out of your daydream by an insistent tapping on your back.

Blinking at Pale, you smiled just a little.

“What are you doing?” You asked, thinking he needed something.

“I’m playin’ your song.” He mumbled instead, making your cheeks heat right away.

“I have a song?” You wished he would open his eyes, wish he were sober. Just so that he could make some sense, just a little more sense.

He did crack an eye open at that, looked mildly offended. You smiled a little bigger, that was the Pale you knew.

“O’course you have a fhuckin’ song. Don’t be ridiculous.” He scoffed, slurred his words. Still a little drunk then, drunk enough to not just wave off whatever…this was.

“How does it go?” You didn’t know if you were pushing your luck, if he’d shut down and get all closed off in the way he sometimes did. You knew not to pry, but this had you so curious.

“Like this.” He said, gong back to tapping on your back.

It was slow, but insistent. Like a build-up of intensity over time. You wished you knew which instruments, if it was just piano, or if there were other things too. You wondered which instruments he liked the best, which ones he knew how to play. You took piano lessons an eon ago, weren’t very good at it. But he already knew that.

He used both his hands, they were so big, splayed out across your back like the keys of that grand piano he kept in his apartment. He could probably reach half the keys all at once, you thought.

The tapping on your back moved faster and faster, up and down like he was chasing something, up and up and up your spine until finally his fingers flitted all the way back down, an impossible rhythm to figure out.

And then he slowed, and things felt softer in a way. His fingers like water over your shoulder blades, dancing notes onto the freckles on your skin.

“This part here, that’s when I finally got you back in my fucking arms again after Miami.” He whispered, and you were so taken aback by that, that you almost didn’t know what to say.

It was overwhelming in the best possible way. It was like he was pressing I missed you into your skin over and over again, fingertips digging into your flesh with a different kind of passion.

Part of you wondered if this was even real, or if he were just so out of his mind that he was making it up as he went.

But he kept going and going and going and you thought no, this had to be real. This was too filled with determination, he knew exactly which keys he was pressing, exactly which notes he was bringing to life as his hands slipped along your back.

You let yourself close your eyes for the first time in what must have been hours, what felt like days, enjoying the feeling of the playing. You tried to envision it in your head, what he might be thinking, what he might be playing. You wished you knew, had some frame of reference for what it might sound like. All it felt like was morse code to you.

“Is it a happy song?” You asked when he finished, when his hands finally stilled and your back tickled with the phantom feeling of all the little taps and pokes.

“I don’t know.” He replied right away, making you frown just a little, making your stomach do those nervous flips.

This wasn’t the part of your story where he told you he hated you…was it?

“What do you mean?” You had to know, but he shrugged, only making your stomach knot up tighter.

“Well, it don’t got any real meaning to it or anything. There’s no story. It’s just feeling, you know? How you make me feel.” He said.

“How do I make you feel?”

“Like I’m dyin’.”

You blinked at that, your heart sinking.

“That doesn’t sound very happy.” You whispered, and he must have started to sober up enough to realize, immediately shaking his head and shifting the both of yous around so that you were tucked so close to him, held so lovingly against him that all he could do was kiss your temple over and over again.

“No, that’s not – ” He started, cutting himself off and pausing for a moment to try and figure out what he wanted to say.

“I don’t know what to do with you. I keep fuckin’ waiting for something bad to happen and it never comes. I’m on the edge of my fuckin’ seat all the time, wonderin’ when you’re gonna finally have enough. I can’t take it sometimes, you’re too sweet to me, too good and nice. My heart feels like it’s gonna burst when I look at you, like I gotta rip it right out of my fuckin’ throat. I don’t got the words, you know? I don’t know the words to describe it other than that.”

“I love you, you know that?” You blurted out.

It felt like the rain stilled.

Like all the traffic outside stopped. There were no sirens, no barking dogs in small apartments, there were no death and disease and AIDs and boat crashes and shitty wives.

All there was, was you and Pale in your shitty apartment with the leaky tub and you loved him.

“How’s that?” He asked, sounding so sober that you wondered if shock had the power to do that, to dispel all the coke and the alcohol and the sadness and rage you knew was tucked into your lover.

Because that’s what he was. He was your man, your lover. He was the person you spent all your time thinking about, all your energy caring about. And he cared about you too. You knew he did. You had heard him.

He didn’t know, didn’t think that you did, but you did. You heard it every night, when you pretended to be asleep against his chest, when you pretended to snore just to maybe get a glimpse at the inside of his heart.

You didn’t blame him, for being so guarded with it. You didn’t blame him – how could you? How could you be mad or upset with him, considering the way he had been treated the last time? Been treated for so long?

“I love you.” You said it again. “I think I’ve loved you for a long time. I know I love you. You don’t have to say it back, if it’s hard. You don’t have to. I know.” You knew, you knew you knew you knew it was hard, it had to be hard for him.

“You do?” He asked, and you couldn’t tell if he was referring to the love, or the hardship, or all of it, or none of it.

“I do. I found the box, in your closet.” You said, apropos of nothing, like how he had dropped the information that he had kids out of nowhere. You couldn’t think of an organic way to work it into whatever this was – was it a conversation? Or was it an exchange of admissions?

“Oh.” He said, and you didn’t know.

“We don’t have to talk about it. I just didn’t feel right not telling you. ” You were honest, always wanted to be honest with him. You loved him, and he deserved honesty.

If nothing else, he deserved honesty.

                                                     —————

He was quiet for a long time.

The rain softened for a couple minutes, but revved back up again. Thunder and lightning cracked outside. You had never seen this much rain in your whole life, you thought. Not so soon after New Year’s, anyway. You wondered if it was all that smog, all the bullshit pollution being ferried up into the atmosphere. Maybe it was fucking with the weather.

Pale was quiet until he wasn’t, asking, “What did you think?”

“I thought you had the cutest ears I’ve ever seen.” You replied right away, making him laugh.

It was the first time he had ever laughed so unguarded.

“That’s funny.” He said, redundantly.

“I like the name Jimmy.” You smiled.

He shook his head, but thankfully he didn’t seem too mad, didn’t seem angry or anything. He kept smiling, just the slightest little thing, just the prick up of his lips in the corner of his mouth – but it was enough to show off those dimples of his, and your heart soared. You loved when he smiled.

You loved him.

“That’s what my wife calls me.” He grimaced, before laughing again. You wondered what was going on in his head.

“I wasn’t gonna change to it, I just thought you should know that I like it. I like Pale too.” You hummed, and he kissed your temple again.

“Y’know how I got that name?” He asked, his words fuzzy and slurred still.

“No.” You shook your head on his chest.

“Fifteen fucking years ago maybe, I’m sitting in this bar. Minding my own business, I ask the bartender if he’s got any brandy. He says, ‘of course I got fuckin’ brandy, what do I look like?’ So I says, ‘okay but do you got any top shelf shit?’ – Because you know me, I don’t drink nothin’ cheap. And I say, ‘any V.S.O.P?’ Very Special Old Pale. V.S.O.P. And the guy’s eyes fuckin’ light up. Guess he hadn’t had someone ask for something that nice in a long time. So he pours me some, and I pay the tab and I leave.”

“Mhm.” You encouraged, letting your eyes close again, letting the rumble of his chest lull you.

“Well he’s a real nice fuckin’ fella, so I go back the next night. Who do I got to go home to, my fucking wife who already hates me? A screaming two year old she won’t let me take care of? Nah. So I go back to the fuckin’ bar, and I do a couple lines with the bartender, and I ask for more of that V.S.O.P.”

Thunder cracked outside, lightning illuminating the room for a split second. You could see the light even with your eyes closed. Pale kinda felt like that, you thought.

Seeing even with your eyes closed.

“So after a week or two of pullin’ this shit, he don’t even ask anymore, just slides me a glass of Pale. And I get known as Pale. I ain’t ever introduced myself otherwise ever since.” He concluded his story.

“That’s a funny story.” You said with a smile.

“How’s that?” He asked, a smile in his own voice too.

“What if you had ordered something else?” You mused, propping your chin up on his chest to look at him.

He went all hazy cross-eyed to try and get a glimpse of you at the angle he was, lifted his head just a little. You smiled at the way he got a bunch of chins when he did that, you stretched your neck up to kiss them, press little smooches there, making him shy away from being too ticklish.

“Instead of brandy, what if you ordered a glass of wine? Then you might be known as Cabernet. Cab.” You laughed.

“Like a fuckin’ taxi cab?” Pale laughed too, and you laughed again.

Thunder cracked and the rain panged down, but you loved him and you laughed.

“Yeah. Pale’s much better.” You chuckled, winding down again but still humming, amused.

“You really love me?” He looked at you with real clear eyes, and you nodded.

“I really do.” You said.

He held his hand up, looked at it in the near pitch-black room.

“I chucked my ring, right off the fuckin’ pier. It’s at the bottom of the ocean. Hope no dolphin or nothing eats it. I ain’t ever felt so light, without it on like this.” He said, and ah, that’s where it had gone.

You thought he maybe would have kept it in a box, maybe stuck it along with the letter and photographs. Memories that might be too painful to deal with, but too important to throw out.

Something about the fact that he had really just tossed it in the ocean felt monumental to you. Like maybe he was yours, maybe he would stick around with you and you were his to keep too.

“You have a tan line there.” You held his hand right up to your face, squinted at the finger. Sure enough there was a little band of lighter skin. You kissed it, noticed the tremor that was running through his hands.

“Yeah, only took the fuckin’ thing off maybe twice the whole time I had it. You believe that? Twice. Once to get it polished on our ten year fuckin’ anniversary, and then to toss it. She wasn’t even wearing hers, when I saw her. I wonder if she pawned it off or just stuck it in a drawer somewhere. It was expensive, you know?” He sighed.

You kissed the palm of his hand, he smoothed it over your face, cupped your cheek with it. He liked to grab at your face, you noticed. Like to hold it in his hands, cradle it. You smiled.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less.” You pointed out.

“I’d buy you expensive shit, if you wanted it.” Pale pointed out too.

“I don’t need anything – ” You started, but he interrupted you real quick.

“I know you don’t. Boggles my fuckin’ mind. I want to spend money on you, you know? Who the fuck else am I gonna spend it on? I know you don’t need nothing. I want you to have nice shit. I already buy you nice shit. Got a whole fuckin’ closet filled with nice shit I’ve picked up for you over the past few fuckin’ months.” He sighed, his eyes closed again.

“Really?” You asked, frowning. How come he had never said anything? What the hell had he bought you?

“Really. I’m always too afraid to give it to you, too afraid you’re gonna say you don’t want it – that you don’t want me. I know you don’t need this shit, I know. I know you ain’t helpless. You’re a big girl, you can take care of yourself. But…I want to take care of you, you know? I want to make sure you ain’t got nothing to want for. I don’t give shit to you because I don’t want you thinkin’ I’m like a fuckin’ sugar daddy or nothing, that I only want you for sex or nothing. Not that the sex ain’t great, I fuckin’ love the sex, I’m just – I don’t know – I – ” He was losing it again, and you shushed him gently.

“I know.” You said, placing your hand over his, the one on your cheek. He was shaking, poor thing couldn’t stop shaking. “I know, me too.”

You closed your eyes and he closed his.

The rain went on and on, and you were exhausted, and he was still so drunk but you felt good.

It felt good to get it out in the open, that you loved him.

He didn’t need to say it back. You knew he did. You could tell, just by looking at him – just by virtue that he was there, that he called your place home.

He wasn’t going to say it, and that was okay, you loved him anyway.

                                                     —————

Tagging some pals, as always please let me know if you’d like to be added or taken off the tag list! @fullofbees@spinebarrel@dreamboatdriver@thecurlycaptain@bourbonboredom @driverficarchive@aweirdlookingtree@rosalynbair @redhairedfeistynerd@adamsnackdriver@glitzescape @adamsnacc-kler @kyloxfem @fallin-for-youreyes @kylo-renne@attorneyl

[figurative-falsehood]

Upon seeing your blog i instantly squealed and opened you ask box... I'm not quite sure how to react to myself... In a different note: F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it. ___ K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?___ W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones? ___ X: A character you enjoy making suffer. ___ Y: A character you want to protect.

Your adorable and hello! And welcome to my shit blog! I’m sorry I didn’t see this sooner I’ve been pretty scattered.

Also yes I’m answering these backwards

Y- none of them. I want them all to suffer

That being said

Deceit.

X- allllll of them

W- I can pretty much work with whatever I’m givin but I’ve been really bad at print fills lately due to the absolute hell work has been but! I’m *hoping* to like clean out all my ask boxes and fill as many prompts as I can before Christmas so when the new year comes I’ve got a nice clean start

Also! If you are ever interested in sending prompts in they don’t get posted on this blog they get put on @coffee-addict-writer if you send a prompt off anon I’ll tag you when I post it. If you send it on anon You can send it straight to that blog or I’ll also retype the requests when they get posted so you’ll recognize it as yours!

K- I answered this one but seeing as how everything I like to write is angst

(With the exception of an NSA fic I’m toying with) I mean—- what?

I’ll answer it again!

Personally I love my story “Red was always his color” cause it’s just painful with no context?

But as for new ideas another poly fic where there forced apart by outside forces

Happy ending? Maybe maybe not. You’ll have to keep an eye out for the story to drop!

F- so I’m actually *awful* with dialogue. Like truly I don’t like any of my heave dialogue scenes. But I think my favorite dialogue idea is for a project that is top secret so for now I’ll lie and say my favorite of my dialogue is from “should I take a pill to numb the pain (medicate it away)”

I am unable to copy and paste anything atm but I’ll reblog the whole fic in a sec but basically the lart I like is where Virgil is trying to comfort Patton because I think it takes the roles we usually see these two in and flips it around which has been done a lot I know. But I’ll never get sick of it lol.

Also from a not dialogue stand point I like the way patton relates Virgil to purple in this fic because in that moment patton had lost all since of everything and this kid from their old art class stirs something families enough for Patton to remember purple and warmth and comfort and in that moment it’s exactly what patton needed.

Any ways. I’m vein enough I can talk about my writing for ages if you don’t shut me down right here lol.