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ravenwind-75 · 24 days ago

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Strawberries and Seafoam- for @ps-cactus

from your secret valentine 💘

Pt 1: as I had too many ideas for this to be short

Ft MC’s by

@espressoristretto-patronum - Tori

@savingsallow - Ale and Val

@acslytherpuff - Cassie, Alvin, and Alex

@leaping-toadstool-caps - Jaimsen

@theladyofshalott1989 - Damien

@girl-named-matty - Matty and Cal

Me @ravenwind-75 - Jo

Others coming soon

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Amberlyn’s amber eyes glistened in the sunlight, shimmering a golden brown as she pulled back the curtains of her flat’s window. It was a beautiful day!

She was sure her cafe would get many customers today, as the summer by the ocean equaled thirsty people. It was early enough that she could still take a walk by the shore so she pulled on a pair of jean shorts, her favorite blue shirt, and a pair of hiking boots. She grabbed her favorite book as well in case she had a moment of reprieve at the beach after opening up her shop.

When she headed down the stairs she was greeted by one of her best friends, Tori. The girl’s dark brown hair pulled up in her signature bun. “Oh hey Alyn! Good morning! I hope it’s alright that I started prep this early but from the weather I am guessing that today will be very busy.” She was already wearing the signature pastel apron, quite a contrast to her usual darker academia garb. However, earning a free drink after work was worth it, as well as the compliments from her girlfriend that would turn the serious girl as pink as her pride pin.

Alyn originally had tried to run the shop by herself, a true workaholic up at the break of dawn to only burn out later. It got increasingly hard as she grew more popular and people started piling in. She couldn’t fill out and serve all the orders by herself. So she considered inviting some of the young college students that regularly visited the shop to work for her to earn a little towards their futures. Tori was one of them, studying law while her girlfriend Poppy worked at the zoo.

“Oh good morning Tori! Thank you! Let me help you with a few things.” The two girls worked together opening up the windows, setting the coffee to brew, and fixing a few things around the shop until Tori shooed her out the door. “Go Alyn! I know how easily you get antsy if you don’t get some air first. You always get the best ideas after a walk, I’ll handle the shop for now.”

Alyn laughed but didn’t protest and pushed out the door, making the bell ring and walking down the block and to the ocean, her favorite place in the entire world.

Moving near the ocean was probably the best thing she had done ever since graduating high school. Everyone had told her it was foolish to want to own a cafe. They said it wouldn’t pay well and wasn’t a good enough career to have especially when she was such a talented artist and occasional writer. But she had proved them all wrong. Over the past four years her little cafe, Moon & Stars Cafe, had gained a lot of traction. Not many cafes allowed pets and in their thanks customers left little positive messages and pictures of their pets that she pinned on a giant board behind the counter. It was hard at first but now that she had staff it was a lot simpler.

As the gulls circled high above she found herself closing her eyes, smiling at the sounds of their screams. She then removed her shoes and wandered near the edge of the water looking for any pretty stones, sea glass, or shells she could add to the little glass jars that decorated the cafe. Her warm blonde hair fluttered around her ears, the salt spray making it curl more than normal. She would have to work the knots out before she got to work. Amberlyn giggled and let out a squeal when a crab tried to pinch her toe and jumped away before making her way back up the beach towards the town.

There was a young man she didn’t know sitting on the steps up the dunes, deep in thought. “Hello there!” She greeted him. “Enjoying the sight?”

He lifted his head and she fought back a gasp. He had a few long scars across his face, one of his ocean blue eyes covered with a misty haze. He laughed bitterly, running a hand through his golden hair. “I’m enjoying it the best I can, I guess it’s a beautiful view.”

“You guess? The ocean is always beautiful.” She gently retorted, finding his cynicism odd.

He leaned back on his elbows studying her a moment before responding. “It kind of becomes the same old thing when all you have seen is rolling waves for four years straight. The sea isn’t always sparkling and warm darling. It’s cold and vicious. It rages and storms. The sea is unpredictable. And I like to know what’s coming next, so pardon, if I don’t find it as enjoyable.”

“I’m sorry?”

Ominis sighed at the puzzled and slightly hurt look on her bright and innocent face. He had come here to be alone and to wallow in his grief alone.

The vast and endlessness of the ocean made him feel small when he watched it long enough. It reminded him of the things he couldn’t control, the things he didn’t want to remember. But the wind that ruffled his hair, the taste of salt in the air also was calming. It reminded him of the only real home he had had, one he lost.

He hadn’t expected anyone to approach him or much less say anything.

She was still talking and he fought a groan. He just wanted some peace.

“Yes the ocean is unpredictable, but isn’t that the fun of it? Facing the unknown? You can just sail across the sea and start a new life. There are endless possibilities, you just have to learn to ride the waves into a new sunrise.” She smiled, nervously tucking a curl behind her ear.

How could she be so positive? Couldn’t she see that he wanted solace?

The ocean didn’t promise salvation. Not for him, not anymore.

Instead of asking why she was friendly like he wondered, he gave a short cynical laugh. “The ocean is good at making people think they can escape their lives. But it doesn’t work that way.”

She tilted her head, her expression softening. She could tell that the scars weren’t just on the surface, but that he had some deep emotional wounds as well. She wanted to offer some comfort to ease the quiet pain in his eyes. She didn’t want to press him though so she offered the simple honesty she always enjoyed. “I suppose it doesn’t solve everything. But it did for me. Coming here gave me a new chance for life. Perhaps you’ll find something here too. And it’s a space to breathe. Walking the beach always helps me think. I hope you find that as well.”

Ominis just stared past her still, out at the ocean as he considered her words. He wanted to believe her words, that new chances were possible. But it seemed like everything for him was hopeless. The waves crashing on the shore echoed the storm he felt inside.

“Some things are just gone,” he muttered. “There are things you can’t get back no matter how hard you try.”

Alyn’s heart ached at the raw pain in his voice. She could sense that this young man had endured so much already in his young life, probably tragedies beyond everyday lives. Even though he was pushing her away she wanted to offer some comfort and hope.

“You might be surprised. Some things have a way of coming back to you but just not in the way you expect, or maybe you don’t need those things back. Sometimes we need something new.”

He frowned at her. She had no idea what she was talking about. She didn’t understand the depth of his pain. How could she think that she could offer him comfort? But oddly her words were comforting. Oddly he didn’t find her incredibly annoying as he thought he would.

“Maybe,” he said gruffly.

“You’re new around here aren’t you? I haven’t seen you around here before.”

He rolled his eyes. “WOW, are you always this observant?”

“I try to be, you never know when you might miss something or someone important.” She sighed looking down at her watch, “Well I have to get going now but if you ever want to make a friend or get good food my cafe isn’t too far from here. It’s called Moon & Stars in case you ever want to stop in. I am always willing to listen.”

Ominis’s eyes flicked back to her, mild awe on his face. Why was she still being so nice to him? “I’ll think about it.” he found himself saying. “Thanks for the offer.”

“Any time, have a good day. I’m Amberlyn by the way.”

“Ominis.”

“Well have a good day, Ominis.” Amberlyn gave a small smile and wave and then hurried up the beach and away.

Ominis hadn’t always been bitter. He hadn’t always been scarred. But life wasn’t as kind to him as most. Watching the churning waves on the beach reminded him of the days he spent under and on them. In a giant ship, a submarine, or hovering over the waters in a helicopter before dropping into the frigid waters below. A navy seal didn’t have the time to admire the beauty around them, they had to remain focused on the task at hand, to lock in on their target and fire before the enemy saw them first.

He hadn’t always wanted to be a navy seal, he just wanted a simple job,simple rank. Maybe as an engineer, something where he didn’t have to fight. It was just meant to be an escape from his family, a job that took him away from their abuse, and provided money, food, and a roof over his head. And he was protected. Yet while in training when they discovered what an amazing shot he was he was moved up, a sniper for the seals. Part of discrete missions going into some of the toughest places in the world.

He had seen more death and destruction than most 22 year old men could imagine. It was all he had ever known and now he was here, stuck in a civilian city living at a logistics base. At least he still had a job. After an accident of explosive shrapnel to the face he only had the use of one eye even though they had worked hard to save the other one. He could no longer shoot for them. So he’d been offered an honorable discharge, but he feared having to go back to his family and begged for anything they had. His family were all he had to go to and they would want him back. As long as they knew he was still in the Navy they would think he was still fighting and leave him be.

But did he know how to be normal? No he didn’t. He didn’t know what to do with himself when he wasn’t working, when he wasn’t shooting. Logistics was boring but what he had. America was also unfamiliar to him. Try going from being in an uptight English school your life, to the strict rules of the Navy to the carefree and laidback land where no one cared how they carried themselves. He was also very alone.

Ominis found himself thinking of the strangely positive girl as he watched the waves. He found himself wondering if the ocean could be beautiful. If he was really safe here, miles across the waters from them. If he could finally find the peace and healing that he was hoping for. Here in Norfolk Virginia, under a warm sun that promised a bright beginning. Perhaps she was right; perhaps the waters here that shone with an odd beauty would wash away his past, bring him something new while carrying the old away. He couldn’t get his innocence back, no but he could retrain himself to not think about those things anymore- the things he was ashamed of.

It was later in the evening and Amberlyn was busy working hard when she saw him enter, his pale skin a bit pink from the sun. Val who was helping her serve a customer caught on to how her attention shifted from her customer to the door when it swung open.

“So is that lemon boy?” Val asked her green eyes sparkling with amusement, her pink bob bouncing on her shoulders.

“His name isn’t lemon boy Val,” Alyn sighed, returning her attention back to serving another customer. “His name is Ominis.”

Val shook her head, watching as Ominis took a seat at a table in a corner. “I think lemon boy is far more fitting don’t you Cal?” she said, turning her gaze to her boyfriend who was sitting at the counter booth so he could visit with her as she worked.

Callan thought for a moment, brushing a piece of black hair away from his equally dark eyes. “Hmm, blonde and bitter. I guess lemon boy could fit.”

Val chortled in victory, “See I told you.”

Cal hummed for a second, his eyebrows cinching in thought “You said his name was Ominis?”

She didn’t get to answer however because a flock of people entered all at once, laughing and talking amongst themselves. The squad normally came this day of the week to catch up and Amberlyn knew they would want all the tea and Val was not the type to keep anything to herself. She was grateful to have made great friends here but sometimes their overwhelming presence made the introvert feel drained. But she loved them and she couldn’t help but smile and wave back at Jo.

They consisted of Val’s best friend Cassie, who was studying cosmetology; Alex, her boyfriend; and his brother Alvin, both popular football players. Alvin’s girlfriend Matty the botanist was also part of the group, along with the law students, Damien, Sebastian, Alejandro, and Jaimsen. Jo and Poppy who worked at the local zoo, and Jo’s boyfriend Silas was an artistic medical student.

Val went to art school when she wasn’t working at the cafe. Tori was also a law student though, she was leaning more towards officer work then the others. They all took turns helping at the cafe though. Silas and Val helped decorate and design advertisements, Poppy and Matty contributed all the plants and Jo helped plan how to make the place pet friendly. Cassie helped her find the cute aprons and just always look her best, and Jaimsen and Alvin loved helping bake new recipes.

After she briefly said hello to them she let Val and Tori serve their other friends as she went over to Ominis where he sat gazing out towards the sea again.

“Hello again Ominis.” She greeted him.

He startled a bit at her voice but quickly regained his composure, turning towards her.

“Hello.”

She pulled out a pen and a notebook from her apron. “What can I get for you?”

He hesitated for a moment before saying gruffly. “Uhh, a black coffee.”

She raised an eyebrow in surprise. “No cream or sugar?”

“I like it strong,” he said simply.

“Okay then, one black coffee coming up.” She turned back to the counter where she took her time brewing it, finding herself stealing glances at him. He was so stoic and closed off. Yet sometimes she got a glance of something in his eyes, a longing and a searching for hope.

When she returned to the table he was surprised to find her not only sliding a steaming cup of black coffee onto the table in front of him but also a slice of strawberry cheesecake.

“I only asked for a coffee,” he began to protest, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Don’t worry you don’t have to pay,” she assured him. “It’s on the house. I thought you could do with something sweet in your life,” she said with a soft smile. “You don’t have to eat if you don’t want to.”

Amberlyn could feel his eyes on her as she walked away. She hoped the move wasn’t too forward of her. They just had a bunch of extra sweets thanks to Jaimsen and Alvin. It couldn’t hurt. Besides, if he didn’t want it he didn’t have to eat it. But sweets always cheered her up and she thought he could do with a bit of cheer.

As she visited with the others their conversation often drifted into the background as she thought about him. Where had he come from? How could she help him feel comfortable?

Her attention was snapped back when Cassie waved her hand in front of her face. “Alyn, girl you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.”

Johanna and Tori exchanged a look.

“Okay then,” said Poppy. “What did Silas just say?”

“Uhhhh…”

Val groaned. “He was saying that with your artistic talent you could have a career if you wanted.”

“Yeah, your doodles are great but they would look so much better if they weren’t on a napkin.” Matty chimed in, leaning her head against Alvin’s shoulder as he gently rubbed her back.

“What’s wrong with writing on napkins?” Alejandro piped up suddenly, sharp green eyes flicking up from where he had been very invested in writing something on a small piece of notepaper.

“Nothing Ale,” Silas said, patting him on the back. “Just that with her artistic talent it should be recognized more. Put out into the world. Just like your poetry should be. It’s good.”

Val’s eyes widened and she leaned forward on her elbows. “You write poems?”

Alejandro straightened, a small smirk playing on his lips. “Yeah I do, I like to think they’re good,” he said modestly.

“Can I read one?”

He nodded without hesitation, voice calm and confident. “Sure, I don’t mind.”

“Like that one?” Cassie asked, pointing to the paper Ale had now covered with his hand.

Alejandro met her gaze with a smile, eyes sparkling. “Oh exactly like that one.”

Jaimsen leaned across the table and snatched it up, waving it in the air. “I’m gonna read it!”

Ale went to leap up but stopped when Alex put a large steady hand on his shoulder. “Chill mate, we just want to hear it. Let him read it, you can read us one another time.”

As Jaimsen began to read, Alyn’s eyes drifted back to Ominis. He had begun to eat his shortcake, and a small smirk twinged his lips as he listened to their conversation.

When Jaimsen had finished reading it the cafe was dead silent for a moment. The poem was clearly about Val, speaking of cherry blossom hair with tenderness . Ale stood, his chest rising with pride, and gave a small nod of apology at Cal who was slightly glaring at him. “Yeah, it’s about her. Now you all know. I’m not ashamed of it either.”

Ale then calmly made his exit, confident but a bit nervous of Val’s reaction.

Jo went after him.

Val had a little twinge of pink on her cheeks, a bit flustered from his romantic prose.

“Always knew he was a simp. At least he’s a cute one.”

“Yeah,” Callan agreed with a sigh, his frown changing into a slight blissful look.

“What?” Val exclaimed.

“What?!” Callan echoed, ears burning.

Ominis found himself lingering late into the evening, listening to the comfortable buzz of the cafe girl’s friends laughing and catching up with each other. He felt out of place but he also didn’t want to leave. He no longer had crew mates to visit with, and he hated how quiet his apartment could be at night. One of the men’s voices comforted him more than the others, oddly familiar.

The plate that held the cheesecake was now empty, and his coffee no longer tasted as good as it had when all he had was bland and bitter food for months. Military rations and the hospital food on the ship weren’t sweet. He had only recently gotten back into the swing of eating normally again. He felt deeply touched by her act of kindness, making something twinge inside him he hadn’t felt in a long time.

Ominis looked up when she approached, her soft amber eyes seeming to see right through him as she softly smiled, sending that strange sense of warmth through him again.

“Hey Ominis, would you like any more coffee?” she asked, her voice gentle and cautious.

“I’m fine,” he said a little more gruffly than he would have liked. “I was about to go anyway.”

She just smiled again, and quietly began to pick up his dishes.

“I uhh…thank you for the cheesecake. That was…nice.” he managed to call after her as she began to walk away.

She paused and looked back, “Of course. And my offer still stands, you know, if you ever want to talk.”

“I’ll consider it.” And for the first time in a long while Ominis found himself smiling.

For the next few weeks when he wasn’t working Ominis found himself back at Moon & Stars cafe, always ordering a black coffee and ending up getting a cheesecake on the house. Always sitting at the corner table that looked out toward the ocean, finding it more beautiful daily.

He wanted to visit with her more, and perhaps her friends. But he hadn’t been around people much, at least not in normal conversation for years, so he didn’t feel worthy. He didn’t feel like he was as talented or funny as them, that he had nothing to contribute.

But little by little though her quiet presence began to crack through his walls, sometimes a gentle brush of fingers as she patted a cafe cat that had crawled into his lap, a smiley face or some other doodle she had drawn on a napkin (all of which he kept), or a simple joke shared.

He would occasionally share a bit of gossip that he overheard after he heard her mulling over something with her friends about what had been happening in town. Sometimes she got him to share a bit about himself, a favorite song, a hobby, books. Eventually he told her about the Navy and the scar that haunted him. How he struggled to fit into normal society when all he knew was war.

Amberlyn would take her breaks with him, and in those quiet moments he found the highlights of his days. Her gentle persistence paid off and he found himself beginning to feel at home there.

One day when he entered the cafe he caught a glance of someone he hadn’t expected to see that day. It wasn’t the normal day for her friends to be there. These days were just for them. He had always made sure of it. Did he miss something? Was it the wrong day of the week-?

He stiffened when he heard his laughing voice call his name, “Yo Ominis! Is that you?” Sebastian Sallow unwrapped his arm from around the tall blonde at his side, his brown eyes sparkling with excitement. “It IS you!!” He clapped the man on the back. “D look, it’s my old school pal, Ominis. The one I’ve told you so much about.”

Hopefully not too much… Ominis thought to himself as the short brunette hurried over.

Sebastian let out a whistle, crossing his arms and looking up at him. “Well you shot up.” He then gaped at where Ominis’s sleeve was slightly rolled up.

“Wow, and muscled up too. Where have you been buddy?”

Ominis rolled his eyes and fought a groan and as he went to speak, someone spoke for him.

“He’s been in the Navy.”

…

To be continued….

#hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy mc #ominis gaunt #hl fanfic #modern au #ominis x mc #amberlyn salters #omilyn #hogwarts legacy mcs #secret valentine #reveal time!!#i really hope you like it #I have so many ideas for this so it’s going to be longer haha #ravenwindwrites

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devilander · 1 year ago

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I don't know your rules so I hope this is ok.

Homelander being bored one day and finding boxes full of your old things that your parents kept and he can't pass up on an opportunity to learn more snoop about you. He finds old teddy bears/ drawings/ pictures. Ya know, the typical nick knacks that a proud parent thinks they might be useful someday. It mads him a bit sad that he missed out on so many 'just being a kid' moments but he is enjoying the glimpses that he finds when he sees you in your little league uniform or you soaking wet with a big grin on your face at some waterpark.

You eventually find him all surrounded by memories and see the glassy look in his eyes, you just can't help but crawl in his lap and comfort him. You talk about some of the stuff you guys find, laughing at some. You tell him you promise to make as many happy memories for Ryan and by extension him in the future.

Again, sorry if this is not what you were looking for. Please ignore this or DM me if you want something specific. My brain worms are always a wigglin'.

You finally agreed to move in with Homelander a few months ago. More of a formality, since you already lived in his penthouse most of the time. Yet your parents were so delighted—it was funny, actually, how enchanted they were with him. Their baby girl with America's hero! And he was a charmer too!

Though you lacked for nothing in his house, your parents kept sending housewarming gifts; just trinkets, silly things. Two pairs of white slippers with red stars in them—that one had warranted a full-blown laugh from both of you.

A blue blanket your father had knitted—that one left Homelander at a loss of words. He stared at it for a moment, then silently put it in the bed.

And the boxes! Four boxes filled with knick-knacks; mementos from your childhood and teenage years you were unsure if it'd make Homelander uncomfortable, so… It's not like you hid them (as if you could hide anything from him, anyway), more put them in the very back of your closet and chose not to speak much of it, only mentioned in passing.

“My parents sent even more stuff! Can you believe it?”

The next day, as you left for work, Homelander decided to snoop. It wasn't even snooping, really. You lived with him, you shared it all. And, c’mon, you were an open book. He could read you in a second, knew each flicker of your eyes, every change of breath, the way you scrunched up your nose unconsciously.

He opened every box, sitting on the floor, surrounded by glimpses of your childhood. A picture of you, in your little league uniform, all smiley and proud. A kind of an ugly drawing of what he supposed was meant to be you and your parents. An enormous, threadbare shark plushie you once said was your favorite thing when you were seven.

It was all so mundane—yet his eyes prickled. This was something he'd never be able to share with you.

So lost in his thoughts, he almost didn't notice you'd already come back, and was walking toward the bedroom.

“Hey, you,” you whispered softly. Your chest contracted painfully when you noticed his glassy eyes. It was an effort not to cry too.

“Hey, babe.” He laughed, but it felt hollow. “Juuuust checking some things you tried hiding from me, missy.” He wiggled his finger in your direction in faux annoyance, but you saw it for what it was.

“Baby…” You crawled towards him, sitting in his lap, touching his cheek. “I didn't want to hide it, I just didn't want to upset you.”

“Why would I be upset?” He snorted, now holding a picture of you when you were thirteen.

You groaned.

“Please laser this right now.”

“Why? You look so… cute.” You tried to snatch it from him, but he wouldn't let it. “Awnnn, look at those buck teeth. You look like a rabbit.” He snickered.

“You mean, mean man!” But you giggled too.

As you found more pictures and drawings, and even one Homelander plushie—that he'd never let you live it down—the mood slowly lightened, and you both laughed as you told him all your embarrassing childhood stories. You knew your parents would tell him all anyway.

After a while, you were just laying down in each other's arms, sharing languid kisses in peaceful quietness.

“You know,” you murmured, fingers caressing his hair. “One day, you'll have all of this too. With me, with Ryan, with our future babies. We'll be the happiest family in the entire world.”

He then held your face so tenderly, eyes glassy again—but those were happy tears, a gentle smile on his face.

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you more.”

#homelander #homelander x reader #homelander x you #homelander fanfiction #the boys #the boys amazon #the boys x reader #asks #slasher-smasher #requests #i loveeed this request!#i really hope you like it #and it's what you had in mind #my first hl request fic im so nervous lol #my writing

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earththings · 1 year ago

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𝓒𝓪𝓽 𝓶𝓸𝓸𝓭𝓫𝓸𝓪𝓻𝓭 ☘️🐈

𝓡𝓮𝓺𝓾𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓫𝔂: @twilitpoppy

#i really hope you like it #love letters to poppy 🌹#cat moodboard #stay hydrated 🫶🏻#stay kind #stay safe #cozy aesthetic #naturecore #earthlings #earthcore #natural aesthetic #light aesthetic #fairy cottage #cottagecore aesthetic #springcore #January

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seaswallovvme · 10 months ago

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I see you wanted some request... May i suggest Baldwin laying his head on reader's lap and sharing a romantic moment? Maybe reader reading some poetry for Balwin and some soft kissses in his gloved hand. Just if you want, of course.

Have a nice day ♡

Shallows

A/N: This is inspired by the song “Shallows” by Daughter just in case you wanna listen to it! Also the poem is a shortened version of “Anim Zemirot” which is a Jewish liturgical poem. I thought it fit nicely cause often the love we share with others brings us closer to God and sometimes God reflects in other people to bring out the best in us🤍

The stifling Jerusalem heat was something she would surely never get used to.

She was born in a place far from the holy land, raised in a land that was so far she doubted she’d ever see it again.

A land where snow would fall and cover the mountains and endless meadows in a thick coating of white.

Sometimes she missed her home which now seemed impossibly far away, and everything in her new home couldn’t have been more different.

The first few months she had cried a lot, she had been homesick to a point where she could hardly eat, unsure about her fate of being the new queen of the kingdom of heaven.

It was such a heavy weight that lasted upon her shoulders at such a young age.

It was burden that threatened to crush her whenever she would wake in the mornings and yet, when she thought the sun would never rise for her again, a single ray of light made its way into her heart.

Her husband had always been so gentle and patient with her, coaxing her out of her shell when she shut herself away, bringing a small tray of her favourite cakes and spiced tea into her room.

He was so gentle, so kind and fair and so different from what her mother had told her about the ways of men.

He was exactly what a king should be and there had been so many before him, older and more experienced too but their glory faded in comparison to Baldwin.

She had never minded that he was sick, a part of her hoping he would leave her alone to lament his fate and yet she found herself to be pleasantly surprised when he didn’t.

It had taken time for her to get used to his presence and the duties that came with being a queen but she would have been a fool to keep him on a distance forever.

She simply couldn’t.

Not when he would sit by the side of her bed when she refused to leave her chambers for the first week, not when he would never raise his voice or have any demands other than to at least try to give this new life a chance.

A hour of him sitting on the edge of her bed had soon turned into more.

Spending the evenings playing chess or visiting the gardens at sundown, talking of books from lands far away, myths and stories or battles that had been fought long ago.

She simply couldn’t keep this gentle and soft-spoken young man at arms length.

One night however he didn’t come to her chambers.

She waited for the sun to set but even then, no trace of him.

Perhaps he had grown tired of her stubbornness.

Perhaps he had grown tired of her self pity?

And how could he not?

His fate was much more agonising than hers, his existence was a matter of life and death every day, only alive and breathing by the grace of god.

She felt like a fool to cause such an ordeal in front of the man who suffered each day, bearing his cross yet being so kind to her.

She was tossing at turning in her bed.

It was hot and the silken sheets that wrapped around her body so softly even felt too heavy at this point, too hot, too tight.

It was no use crying now, she decided chewing on the inside of her cheek thoughtfully while slowly climbing out of her bed.

The marble floor was pleasantly cold underneath her bare feet as she slipped through the darkened hallways of the palace, quiet as a cat, a burning candle in one hand a book in the other.

She knew the way to Baldwins chambers.

He had shown her on the first day she arrived, explaining she would be welcome at any time of day or night no matter the reasoning.

And this reasoning was very important, she was sure.

She would head inside and apologise.

She would apologise and ask if she could read to him the way he had read to her so often.

She would say how sorry she was for being so ignorant and selfish, how she was sure she would do her very best from now on to be a proper queen and wife.

However as soon as she knocked softly and slipped past the guards with an apologetic smile the words died in her throat.

His chambers were dimly lit by candles, a faint trace of sandal wood lingering in the air.

Here it was cooler than elsewhere in the palace, to help his weary lungs breathe.

He was laying in bed, on his back.

His hands were freshly bandaged, his face too now that he was not wearing a mask and she could smell the herbal ointments.

Quietly she stepped closer but still he noticed her, raising his head as his eyes widened and she was sure had never seen a man this worried in her life.

“I am so truly sorry I was not able to visit you my beautiful darling”

When he spoke she had to step even closer to hear his voice, so soft and quiet that it easily could have passed as a hushed wind.

“I have developed a fever, nothing grave yet my physicians refuse to let me leave my chambers” he explained, a sorrowful look on his face.

“I had sent for a servant to inform you about the situation..did no one tell you at all?”

In that moment all of her hesitance, fear and standoffish thoughts melted away and instead her heart soared with an unfamiliar feeling.

It had first started faintly in her stomach when he would offer her his arm in the gardens a while ago but this was a much more intense feeling.

So intense it almost hurt yet in such a strangely beautiful way and she could feel the tears stinging in her eyes.

“Please do not apologise..it is I who should tell you how sorry I am” her voice was a mere whisper, strained and she licked her lips to wet them before slowly climbing into his bed, so careful not to hurt him.

She looked up, facing the guards by the door.

“Please leave us”

She rarely ever addressed them but now she did, her timid voice so loud against the quiet of his chambers that it nearly startled her.

Baldwin seemed curious by the way she was behaving and even more so when she spoke again as soon as the guards had left and closed the heavy door behind them.

“I want to apologise” she started quietly but her voice got more sure the more she spoke.

“I want to apologise for having been so difficult when I know you are feeling much worse than I. I have never wanted to be a burden to you or make your days more difficult than they are already”

When she had first started talking she avoided his gaze but now she looked at him, truly, for the first time ever and despite the fact she could only see his eyes she knew underneath the bandages he was smiling.

“An angel sent from heaven could never be a burden to me” he whispered back, reaching out to place his bandages hand on hers so very softly.

Her vision became blurry with tears and yet she smiled, gently squeezing his hand back and oh how she thanked the almighty to have given her a husband as gentle and righteous as hers.

She slipped underneath the covers, nuzzling into him hoping he could forgive her but the way he held her close made her feel like there was nothing to forgive at all.

After a short while they had settled in comfortably and now it was her turn to return all the affection, love and care he had showered her with in the last few weeks.

His head was heavy, resting in her lap and his eyes were shut as she gently traced her fingers over his bandages face, every now and then raising his hand to her lips to kiss it.

A fever was always worse at night but she hoped her presence would bring him at least a small sense of comfort, even if it was the least she could do.

Her plan however seemed to work just fine, his breathing slower, less laboured and his limbs had relaxed, his free arm wrapped around her as if he were scared she would leave.

She wouldn’t, never again.

“Would you like me to read to you? I finished one of the books you gifted me and when I read one poem I was reminded of you” she admitted, somewhat glad the dimly lit room disguised the flushing cheeks that came with how she hated herself emotionally.

She wasn’t worried he would make fun of her though, he never had made her feel uncomfortable and now it was on her to make him feel just as safe.

His response was a faint nod and a whisper, his blue eyes opening and he looked at her with so much adoration that she could feel her heart ache once more

“Yes please..”

She was eager to comply, not wasting a second she straightened up a little, opening the book she had brought, flipping through the pages until she found what she had been looking for.

With care she tilted the book in a way for the torches on the walls to hit the paper in a way that would make it possible for her to read.

When she did, her voice was quiet and she made no pause, only rubbing his hand through the bandages.

The way he squeezed her hand back made her stomach flutter, sure that he could feel her touch.

“Melodies I weave, songs I sweetly sing; longing for Your Presence, to You I yearn to cling.

In Your shelter would my soul delight to dwell, to grasp Your mystery, captured by Your spell.

Thus I glorify You in speech as in song, declaring with my love: to You do I belong.

The scope of your greatness and he marvel of Your strength are reflected in Your actions all described at length.

Youth and force in battle, old age on judgment day; like a seasoned warrior, with strength He clears the way.

He wears triumph as a helmet on His head, His power and holiness have stood Him in good stead.

May my prayer rise to the Creator of the miracle of birth, Master of beginnings whose might and justice fill the earth.

May You find sweet and pleasing my prayer and my songs; my soul goes out in yearning, for You alone it longs.”

Silence stretched out near torturously when she had finished reading and neither of them said a word.

She felt embarrassed all of the sudden, awkward having read a poem filled with devotion and yearning such as this, both for him and for God but when she looked down into his face all of those feelings faded.

His eyes were open, glossy with adoration and a sheer layer of tears and she could have sworn she had never seen a sight this beautiful.

No matter the illness, no matter the bandages and physical fragility that seemed to drain him, none of that could take his beauty away.

His voice broke when he spoke and she was so taken aback it took her a moment to recognise his words were a quote from the poem she had read

“..declaring with my love: to You do I belong..this poem is about the Lord is it not?”

She smiled faintly, shutting the book as she placed it down on the small table next to the bed.

“It is..it reminded me of you. Of how brave and good you are and I cannot help but feel as if the Lord wanted us to cross paths. Your love turns me into a better person Baldwin. When I am with you I feel as close to him as I have ever felt before”

His hand squeezed hers just a little tighter and he took a deep breath before he continued

“Sometimes I cannot comprehend the Heavenly Father and his mysterious ways. I used to think my illness was a way for him to punish me, scorn me for my sins but how could I ever doubt his justness, his everlasting grace and love when he granted me the time I get to spend with you?”

#PLEASE be nice to me😭#i’m sensitive #and this is my first piece of writing of him #I really hope you like it #baldwin iv #kingdom of heaven #king baldwin iv

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