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#I really hope the main character and her can stay friends i love her
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Watch me start a BL drama and then the first thing I cry about is a female side character saying she’s not interested in romance but have to pretend to bc that’s what everybody else does (aka giving big aro vibes)
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mono-blogs-art · 22 days
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Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko - The Lesbian Office RomCom You Needed
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Blatant flirting, hilarious misunderstandings, and lesbian shenanigans aplenty - this show is funny, over-dramatic, and most of all gay as hell. Here's my review! Spoiler-free version first, and a more detailed spoiler-y version under the cut. I hope you enjoy!
A quick summary: Overall: 9/10, you should absolutely watch this! Genre: RomCom, with some serious elements and a heartfelt exploration of sexuality Watch if you are looking for... : A silly and fun time, a happy ending, misunderstandings, and character development. Highly recommended to watch this with your partner(s) or your sapphic friends! Watch out for... : Although the tone of the show is mostly comedic, it contains discussion & depiction of homophobia at the workplace and past trauma relating to that Where to watch: Official TL on GagaOOLala, or Fansubs by @furritsubs (highly recommended!)
"Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko" (Ayaka-chan wa Hiroko-senpai ni Koishiteru) is a Jdrama adaption of a manga by the same title. The series premiered this year July 2024 and has wrapped up a short while ago, with a total runtime of 8 episodes of 24 minutes each.
The title of the show already says all; the plot is simple: Junior staff member Ayaka is head-over-heels for Hiroko, her senior at the company she works at. And she has decided to go on the offensive.
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There are many obstacles in Ayaka's way: first of all, Hiroko is 13 years older than her (they are 23 and 36), and her superior at the workplace. Hiroko is beloved by both her superiors as well as her staff, so Ayaka's love for her is just one of many. And no matter how blatantly she ups her advances (and girl, she is BOLD), Hiroko is 100% convinced that all the flirting is just misplaced, straight-woman obliviousness.
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The irony of it all is that Ayaka is absolutely barking up the right tree, because Hiroko is a lesbian, but has been firmly in the closet at work - something that she has no plans on changing. Her professional life and her personal must stay completely separate, at all cost. The only place she can truly be herself is the lesbian bar she's been a regular at for years.
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^ Me when I'm a lesbian disaster doing insane mental gymnastics
However, "giving up" is not in Ayaka's vocabulary. As her seduction attempts keep escalating and being misunderstood, Hiroko's hard exterior begins to crumble bit by bit. Can Hiroko finally overcome her rigid ways, and let herself fall for someone?
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Although the show is first and foremost a comedy, both Ayaka and Hiroko as characters are handled really well. They have their own problems, insecurities, reservations about the other, and both have a simple but great arc over the course of the series. Ayaka is discovering her sexuality, something she had never even considered before falling for Hiroko. What does being in love with a woman mean for her future? And Hiroko, who is already very confident in her sexuality, is confronted by her past trauma, and the fact that she's still not ready to come out despite the changing times. And while being undercover has saved her career in the past, it has also made her feel alone and isolated. She likes Ayaka back, but can't allow her true colors to show.
Something that I find very hard to achieve with comedy shows is the switch between funny and serious, and I think that Ayahiro manages this very well. Both of our main characters feel grounded enough in reality that when they get emotional, it feels relatable and sincere. For a silly show like this, striking a balance like that is crucial, and save for a few pacing issues in the later half of the show (that I honestly didn't mind at all), I think the show totally nails it. Ayahiro is not a realistic show, but it contains elements of reality that made me connect to it, despite all the insane shenanigans that go on. And because of that the show made me laugh and cry as much as it did, often in the same episode. It works, and Kudos to the writers (and actors!) for that.
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Speaking of actors, one thing I must mention is that the show is very well made. The actors (especially Mori Kanna as Hiroko is the standout for me, she has a natural charisma and gay swagger) do a fantastic job, the leads' chemistry is great. The production overall has some real money behind it, with lots of changing sets that all look great and have been crafted with care. Ayaka's outfits are absolute KILLER, she is giving insane femme energy. The show also looks very pretty, the color graders turn that saturation up to 100 and it fits Ayaka's rose-tinted world well.
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That's it for the spoiler-less part, I'll now get into specific characters and plot points with full spoilers up to the end of the series under the cut. If you don't want to get spoiled, I hope the review until now made you want to watch the show for yourself! I hope you enjoy!
First of all I need to disclaim that I have not read the original manga that she show is based on, so I can't compare the series to its original and how the plot is written there. I do intend to read it (I hope it gets localized to German so I can support the official release, but I might check out the English Official TL anyway before that) but for now, I will only judge the series as is.
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Ayaka: Our protagonist is a femme fatale, in... another meaning of the word, I guess. She is a disaster, bad at pretty much everything she does except not giving up. Once she has set her mind to something, she will get it done. That leads her to often be inconsiderate and unable to see what others around her are feeling, which goes mostly for her best friend Risa, but also for Hiroko, whose feelings she also fails to consider even when pursuing her. Ayaka has to learn the hard way that her naivete is hurting others, and herself. She hasn't really thought her advances through, simply acting on instinct. But as the series goes on, she takes her feelings and her newly discovered sexuality seriously, and grows comfortable with calling herself a lesbian. She is also unashamedly horny, like, Oh My God, this girl is trying to get laid so bad. This is hilarious and refreshing to see, and although her seduction attempts are often played as comedic, it doesn't feel like she is being ridiculed for her sexuality by the show. Ayaka often crosses boundaries (physical and emotional) with Hiroko, both out of naivite and in deliberate attempts to seduce her. To me this was never truly infuriating, even though sometimes she really did go too far, but for me it always kept in tone with the comedy of the show. Even when Ayaka finally comes out in front of the entire office, she makes it clear that she doesn't want Hiroko to do the same if she's not ready.
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Hiroko: Our deuteragonist is probably my favourite character in the show, and I think she's very relatable and well done. As an older lesbian, she's got plenty of experience, having even earned the title of "The Ace" in her lesbian friend circle for being a talented womanizer. But a traumatic experience of losing her last partner due to being found out at the workplace has changed her. She's afraid to get attached, she's unable to let people get close to her true self. So when Ayaka is fighting tooth and nail to get to her, Hiroko is caught in conflict between her feelings of attraction and her past trauma. She does everything in her power to dismiss Ayaka's advances to protect herself, and later when she learns that Ayaka is in fact not straight (duh), she still turns her down to protect Ayaka's (and her own) career. Hiroko is a bit of a conservative - something she's also called out for in her lesbian friend circle - she believes that coming out at work is impossible and irresponsible. And you know, I get it. Not only does she have personal bad experiences with exactly that, it's also not unreasonable to think it would be a bad idea to hook up with your junior of 13 years. Like, I get it girl. Hiroko is clearly attracted to Ayaka, not just physically but also emotionally, because Ayaka is everything Hiroko wants to be but can't. And that leads to Hiroko constantly underestimating Ayaka, even treating her like a child. She thinks Ayaka is not really thinking the gravity of her actions through, and she gets called out for that and has to overcome it. In the end, Hiroko ends up being a character that needs time, and needs to unlearn a whole bunch of shitty behaviour, something the show clearly also shows is being worked on and that Ayaka also respects (more on that later).
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Risa: Easily the character I struggled with the most, Ayaka's best friend Risa is complicated. She's very observant but also shy, and secretly harbors a crush on Ayaka. Quietly struggling with her sexuality, she only decides to come out when she realises that Ayaka's feelings for Hiroko are serious. Oh, it's messy! She confesses to Ayaka, who in turn has to struggle with her feelings for someone else, but also not wanting to lose her closest confidant. And to her credit, Risa takes the rejection quite gracefully and continues to support Ayaka in her pursuit of Hiroko. However, Risa also outs Hiroko against her will to Ayaka, which... is just a shitty thing to do, even though she just wanted to help her friend. Good motive, still murder. After the conflict between Ayaka and Risa is resolved, Risa just kind of... is around, quietly worrying in her corner and kind of (in my opinion) overstepping her boundaries with Hiroko. I don't dislike Risa, but I thought her character was not done super well in parts, and although I understand the complicated situation she herself is in, the show doesn't really let her grow as much as the other characters. Anyway, good for her for bagging the hottest chick at the lesbian bar, though. Good for her!
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The "break-up": The story's conflict comes to a peak when Hiroko finally realises there is only one way to shut this all down. She needs to fulfill Ayaka's desire, and then turn her down, once and for all. But Hiroko at this point still thinks Ayaka is immature and hasn't really thought her actions through. Ayaka sheepishly asks for a kiss, so Hiroko kisses her. "Now you've achieved everything you wanted." We're done, you can give up on me and this childish crush you have on me. And most importantly, I can let you go, too. Not realising that Ayaka wants much more. She wants a real relationship, she wants the kiss, sex, real emotions, she wants to see Hiroko's true self too. She wants a partnership.
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The Finale: With the encouragement of her peers, Ayaka finds the courage to express her feelings to Hiroko one last time. And she finds just the right words to finally get through to her. Hiroko realises how much of an ass she's been all this time, how she ended up hurting the girl she loves and herself by denying herself happiness. This whole scene was so well done (Kudos to Kato Shiho as Ayaka, this is probably her best scene in the entire show), brother I cried so hard. And finally Hiroko can say what she should have a long time ago: "I'm sorry."
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One year later: In the show's worst case of bad pacing, we immediately cut from their tearful reunion to "one year later", lol. I don't mind the sudden jump too much, but maybe a bit of a slower fade-out would have softened the blow, because I think a few people probably found this very jarring xD not too bad for me. I was actually positively surprised that we actually get to see the aftermath, see how their relationship has developed a year into it.
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I've seen a few people complain about this "no-sex scene" (lol) and I just want to add my two cents. I actually really like how this scene played out, for two reasons. Reason 1 is that it's just very much in-character for Hiroko. We've seen her struggle back-and-forth with the intimacy Ayaka wanted from her for the past 7.5 episodes, and her own internalised homophobia and constant fear of "crossing the line". She's a traumatized person, and it makes total sense to me that even one year into the relationship, she's still struggling with sexual intimacy. Sure, a whole year is a long time not having sex with your partner (even though you both clearly wanted to from day 1) but like... it makes sense for Hiroko. She's still working through the past 10+ years of repression. I do understand how this scene can be interpreted as "the show is afraid to show them being horny and sexy together, they're cowards for making Hiroko so obsessed with Ayaka's "purity" etc" and like, yes, that is a totally valid interpretation, but IMO also a quite bad faith one.
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"I'm happy to know you feel that way. Which is why, could you please wait a little more, just until I sort my feelings out?" "What?" "I want to cherish you, Ayaka." "Right." "I'm sorry for everything, Ayaka." "For everything?" "In the end, it seems like I still haven't came out yet. I understand that I'm making you endure something when you don't have to. But… I do want to be with you, and I want to keep my job. I'm really sorry for making you put up with my selfishness."
^ Like, that is the conversation that follows. It's not just about sex for Hiroko, that kind of intimacy holds a deeper meaning to her and she's just not ready for it yet, and trying to sincerely tell her partner that. And when Ayaka reaffirms her willingness to be patient in this scene and is respectful of Hiroko's choice, Hiroko realizes that she's being a stupid coward, and finally makes a decision...
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... to come out in front of the whole office, who's been gossiping about their relationship the whole year anyway.
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And that is the end of the show!
So really, Hiroko did manage to overcome her fears in the end, and it took her a whole year into a healthy relationship to do so. And I think that is honestly much more realistic than some people would like to believe. Is the smooch in front of the whole office silly and cheesy and over-dramatic? Of course, but that's the entire show so far. And if you think that kiss-and-dip is dumb then I can't help you, I think you just don't like fun.
Oh yeah, and my reason 2 why I thought that no-sex scene was done well is because it's just funny. Ayaka has been DTF since minute 1 of the show, and her still being unable to get it this far into it is just funny. I would have loved a little nod to them finally getting down at the very, very end, but eh, I can live with it like this. They've conquered the emotional hurdles, I'm certain they will cross that other bridge when they get there on their own time.
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Conclusion: "Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko" is a great and incredibly funny lesbian show that touched me emotionally much more than I thought it would. It made me cry several times, the production and acting quality positively surprised me, and honestly deserves my Nr 2 spot of favourite Lesbian JDrama after Tsukutabe (which is a 10/10 show) for now. I really hope this type of show gets imitators, adapting relatively short stories into mini-series with great quality. I appreciate the more adult tone of this series, its shameless comedy while still being able to hit serious beats with real emotion. From what I've seen of the BTS, the actors and staff also handled the subject matter with respect and care and had a lot of fun making the show. I don't think a season 2 is needed, but I do hope that the series can inspire more similar works. I love Ayaka and Hiroko, and I'm so happy they got their happy ending, and by God, I hope they have the best sex ever in their beautiful lesbian future. God bless.
That's it from me, thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this show as much as I did! Hopefully see you soon!
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writingonleaves · 4 months
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don't wanna scrape you off the pavement (i can't be your savior) - jack hughes
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pairing: jack hughes x original female character (reckless driving au)
warnings: swearing, angst, fluff, hopeful ending (bc its me), possibly inaccurate dynamics of the 2020 - 2024 umich hockey squads but i tried, some biphobia (not from any main characters), an awful lot of talking about michigan for someone who’s never been there (the college or the state)
inspired by + title: "reckless driving" by lizzy mcalpine and ben kessler
word count: 23.7k
author's note: after about 7 months in the making, it’s Finally here lol. this piece means a lot to me, and not only because it took so long. a labor of love, if you will. i'm very proud of it, so i sincerely hope you all enjoy it as much as i loved writing it! please do let me know your thoughts <3 takes place the summer of 2024
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day one - amelie
Amelie Fishel has a love-hate relationship with the state of Michigan. 
She loves it enough that she stayed in the state she was born and raised in for college. But even she knew she would’ve been an idiot if she denied the offer four years ago when University of Michigan offered her an academic scholarship that ended up covering her full tuition. She enjoyed her time at college enough, making a smattering of friends that she really does want to keep in contact with for the rest of her life and developing a solid foundation academically with various experiences that will hopefully help her out to get her dream job, which is on the horizon.
It’s a dream job because it falls in line with what she enjoys doing. But it’s also a dream job because it’s taking her the fuck out of this state. That’s the only request she’s had when trying to close in on an NHL photographer offer — it can be in any state except for Michigan. 
But despite her feeling that she’s outgrown this state, she’s sticking around for one more summer. One more summer of no internships or responsibilities before she has to be a working adult for the rest of her life. A few more months to enjoy the few perks this state does have before getting to leave.
Currently, she’s sitting in the backyard of her grandparents’ new lakehouse. It’s admittedly beautiful and in a wonderful location that offers the tranquility that they’ve been searching for. The lake in their backyard glistens under the sun and the sunsets are stunning. 
It’s a hot day in mid-July and she spent her first full day catching up with her grandparents in the backyard. After she had graduated, she splurged on a trip to Europe with some friends that definitely made a dent in her bank account. When she voiced getting a job for the summer, her parents and grandparents immediately said no. Enjoy the summer, they said. 
After dinner, when the sun’s rays are barely peeking out, she volunteers to walk Susie, her grandparents’ golden retriever that is far too energetic for Amelie’s liking. Amelie grabs the leash, beckons Susie over, and they’re on their way to a walk around the neighborhood. 
She forgoes her Airpods for whatever reason and shoves both her hands in her sweatshirt, walking leisurely behind Susie. She’s so lost in her own head that she almost misses the sound of her own name. 
“Amelie?”
She blinks, stopping at the end of someone’s driveway. Susie trots happily to the guy who’s holding his hand out to pet her. “Luke?”
“Yeah,” Luke clears his throat and bends down slightly to pet Susie, who is loving the attention. “Hey buddy. What’s your name?”
“This is Susie.”
Luke chuckles as Susie’s tail wags crazily. “Hey girly. What a cutie.”
Amelie gently tugs the leash. “Easy, Suz. We don’t wanna kill him.”
She watches for a few seconds as Luke keeps petting her. Yankees hat atop his head and wearing a white t-shirt and swim trunks, it’s been over a year since Amelie’s seen Luke Hughes. The last time she saw him was after the devastating loss against Quinnipiac at the Frozen Four. He had jetted out to Boston that night, but not without giving Amelie an unexpected but genuine hug goodbye. 
As a photographer for the Michigan Athletic Department during her entire college career, she became at friendly with many athletes, especially the guys on the men’s hockey team, since her boss put her on assignment with them a good amount. But she hadn’t expected Luke to remember her or recognize her.
“You live around here?” Luke asks, standing back up as Susie calms down.
“My grandparents just bought a place a few houses down and I just got here. You live here?”
“Kinda,” he gestures to the house behind him. “My brothers bought this place a few years back.”
“Small world,” she remarks. 
He nods with a small smile. “It sure is.” 
“Who’s your friend, Moose?”
She turns her head to the open garage to see a shorter, tanner version of Luke. This guy is wearing a black t-shirt with sweatpants, his hair less curlier than Luke’s. He must be one of his brothers, and even if Luke didn’t just tell her it was his brothers’ place, she would’ve put it together. They both have the same half-smile. 
He’s also beautiful. Almost annoyingly so.
(If her sisters were here, they’d immediately point out that Jack is exactly her type. Well, Charlotte would point out that he smiles similarly to Cooper and Colette would immediately scold Charlotte.)
The guy walks over and Susie gets excited at a new presence. He also bends down to pet her. “This is Amelie,” Luke says. “She photographed a lot of the games back at Michigan.” He turns back to Amelie. “Did you just graduate? Or do you have one year left?”
“I just graduated.”
“Congratulations,” the guy stands up and sticks out his hand. “I’m Jack. Luke’s brother. Well, one of them.”
She shakes his hand with a polite smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Jack. And thank you.”
“You said you’re gonna be here for the summer?” Luke asks. 
“Most of it, yeah.”
“Where do you live?” Jack asks.
“My grandparents are a few houses down. 118.”
Jack perks up. “Stanley and Ruth are your grandparents?”
“Yeah,” she narrows her eyes. “How do you know them?”
“They ran into our parents golfing last week. And I’ve waved at them a few times driving down the street.”
“That sounds about right,” she chuckles. “They love their golf and they love sitting on the front porch.”
Luke straightens up, and with Amelie’s previous interactions with him, that means that he’s about to suggest either a great or horrendous idea. “You should come over for dinner this week. You and your grandparents. Our parents are still here for a few days and we’re going a bit stir-crazy with each other, I think.”
So it’s a horrendous idea this time. She immediately tries to deny the offer politely. “Oh no, that’s okay. I wouldn’t wanna intrude your-”
“We’d love to have you. And your grandparents,” Jack says with an air of finality. “And I know our parents would say the same. They’re sick of also just having us around.”
“I still have your number from when you used to send me pictures after games,” Luke says. “I’ll text you details and we’ll find a time that works?”
“Okay,” she says after a few seconds. As if Susie understands, she barks. 
Jack gives her one last pet with a grin. “This floofer’s welcome as well.”
After one last smile, she and Susie are on their way as the brothers head back into the house. Once they’re out of earshot, she sighs. 
She has no idea how she feels about this. 
day three - jack 
Jack Hughes is convinced he’s going insane.
Well, that’s not exactly true. He’s perfectly fine, great, even. Recovery is going well. He’s back with his family in one of his favorite places in the world. Even in July, the season still seems so far away. Some days he itches to get back to The Rock in front of the fans. But most of the time, he’s enjoying his off-season rehab and training, being on the water and being on the golf course. 
But Amelie – which first of all, an incredibly beautiful name — and her just as beautiful dog Susie have been at the back of his mind for two days straight now. That’s weird. Jack doesn’t usually think about girls like this, especially girls he’s barely met.
All he’s gotten from Luke so far is that she’s a year older than him, which makes her a year younger than Jack, she photographed a bunch of the Michigan games during Luke’s two years there and she’s a bit quieter than some of the social media team’s counterparts Luke knows she worked with. 
And she’s so, so cute. But Luke didn’t tell him that one. 
A few hours before she’s supposed to come over with her grandparents, Jack’s lounging on the boat, as Quinn, who’s in the driver's seat, and Luke are talking about…something. But he’s deeply focused on his phone, trying to do what every Gen Z person does when they see someone cute. Find their Instagram. The fact that he’s held off for over 48 hours is already impressive. 
He finds it relatively easily, as some of Luke’s former teammates who Jack follows follow her, and Amelie isn’t a common name. She’s private, but linked in her bio is her photography account, which is public. While there’s no pictures of her on there, it proves to him that she’s an insanely good photographer. Not just hockey, either. There are some beautiful shots of divers, gymnasts, soccer players, etc. You name the sport, it seems like Amelie’s photographed it. 
“Whatcha lookin’ at?” Quinn asks. 
Jack quickly locks his phone. “Nothing.”
Luke, like the pest he is, narrows his eyes. “Sure.”
“Don’t make me push you into the water, Moose.”
An empty threat, Jack knows, but he starts leaning forward and Luke yelps. “Quinn!”
Quinn rolls his eyes, “You’re both annoying. We gotta head back though. I wanna shower before dinner.”
Dinner. Right. Amelie. Coming into him and Quinn’s home. Great. 
Something must change on his face, because a shit-eating grin grows on Luke’s face. “Oh. That’s what this is about.”
“What?” Jack feigns cluelessness. 
“Amelie’s pretty, isn’t she?” Luke says. Jack just shoves him and Quinn chuckles, catching up. 
“If you think she’s pretty, why didn’t you make your move first?” Jack retorts back. “You had two years.”
Luke shrugs. “Just because she’s pretty doesn’t mean I’m interested. She’s cool though. Way too cool for you.”
“Is that a challenge?”
Luke rolls his eyes, “For once, no.”
“Was she friends with the guys?” Quinn asks. And Jack’s silently grateful that he doesn’t have to be the one to dig for more information.
“I don’t know if I would say friends, but definitely very friendly with everyone,” Luke says. “I think she was a TA in one of Rut and Adam’s classes or something. She seemed to get along with them the best. And I feel like she had a soft spot for Eddy, for some reason. I think it’s that thing where we just all are around each other all the time and the more we saw of her at the rink, the more we got to know her.”
Huh. Interesting. He doesn’t know anything about Rutger McGroarty except that he went to the program a few years after Jack did and was drafted to the Jets. Ethan Edwards is one of Luke’s closest friends from Michigan and could be signing with the Devils organization this upcoming season, and Jack likes him. Adam Fantilli trains with the guys in the summer so Jack’s gotten to know him decently well. That one might say the most. 
Luke gives him a pointed look. “I’m serious. Don’t mess with her. She’s too nice for that. And she can put you in your place.”
And Jack’s downright offended that Luke would even insinuate something like that. But as Quinn guides them home, he thinks. Luke’s never given an opinion on any girl Jack’s dated or had a thing with. He’s spoken maybe three sentences to Amelie, didn’t even directly express his interest and Luke is already all up in his ass. 
He hears when Amelie arrives hours later, Susie barking and the sounds of Stanley and Ruth talking with his parents. He tries to be nonchalant as they all come out into the backyard, when he sees her conversing with Luke, instead making himself busy by introducing himself to Stanley and Ruth. 
But her pink linen pants match her headband and her smile is dripping with gold and Jack is going insane. 
They have dinner outside surrounded by the sound of the rippling lake, the view of a cotton-candy sunset, the feel of light breeze and the warmth of easy laughter. Jack sneaks a few small pieces of chicken to Susie and Amelie catches him, glaring at him from across the table. Jack just smirks as she rolls her eyes, chomping away at her corn and tuning into whatever conversation is going on. 
His parents ask about her background and her time at Michigan and he can’t help but smile when she talks about her double degree — communications and design — and how going to an activities fair turned into working as a photographer for the athletics department. She talks about her first time photographing a hockey game and how hockey is the fastest and in a way, hardest sport she’s ever photographed. But it’s become her favorite. That puts a smile on the faces of the entire Hughes family. 
She gets asked what her plans are post-grad, and she just breezes through it casually, saying that she’s been talking to US Soccer and the NHL but nothing finalized yet. She says it so casually that Jack’s almost in awe. 
Jack never believed in love at first sight, and still doesn’t, thank you very much, but the sound of Amelie’s laughter has him feeling so nervous and stupid and ridiculous. 
Whatever. He’ll unpack this later.
day six - amelie
Amelie’s cameras and her camera equipment are her babies, which, duh, considering her passion and career. Which means she’s very excited to take out the vintage 35 MM film camera she got for a graduation gift from her parents. 
After lunch, she takes one of the many outdoor chairs her grandparents have, plopping herself decently close to the lake to fiddle with some of the settings. She has her trusted DSLR camera next to her as well, the sounds of the birds and a Michigan summer her soundtrack. One of her neighbors must be playing the guitar outside and Amelie finds herself at peace. 
The peace is slowly shattered as she hears a motor coming from the lake. She rolls her eyes to herself. Fucking boats and boatowners who think they’re the shit. 
She does point her camera towards the boat though. It’s a cool shot. 
She doesn’t realize it’s slowing down until it practically stops. She squints and sees someone waving their hand maniacally. She tentatively walks a bit towards the lake. 
“Luke?” 
He nods enthusiastically and Amelie kinda finds it endearing. She quickly takes note of Quinn at the helm and sees Jack’s head popping up from behind Quinn. The boat slows to a stop and she comes to the edge of the lake. 
“Morning. Or afternoon, I guess.”
“Hey,” Jack says with a friendly smile. “What are you up to?”
She holds her camera. “Testing this out. I actually just got a pretty cool shot of the boat.”
“Is that a special kind of camera?” Quinn asks. 
She nods. “Mmhmm. It’s a vintage 35 millimeter film camera, which is the exact opposite of what you want when photographing any sport. What are you guys up to today?”
Luke shrugs. “The usual. Probably gonna be on the boat for a few hours.” He lights up. “Do you wanna come on?”
She opens her mouth to say something but Jack pushes on before she can get a word out. “Yeah, come on!”
“If you don’t already have plans, that is,” Quinn adds. 
She closes her mouth and thinks. She doesn’t have plans today and hasn’t ever been on a boat. Plus, even though she partially chose to spend time out here to reflect on herself and be by herself, she knows it’s good for her to be talking with people that aren’t her grandparents. And, they’ve been nothing but nice to her so far. 
“On a few conditions.”
Jack tilts his head. “Which are?”
“I don’t have to get in the water and I get to bring my cameras.”
“Deal,” Jack says quickly. 
Amelie gives a close-lipped smile. “Give me two minutes.” She sets her cameras down carefully by the chair side and jogs back into the house. She grabs her favorite Michigan crewneck in case it gets cold and grabs her tote bag which has sunscreen, sunglasses, her keys and wallet. When she comes back out, the boat is docked as close to the edge as possible. Without hesitation, Amelie takes off her flip-flops, wades into the water and hands Luke her bag and cameras carefully before Jack pulls her up into the boat. 
She wobbles a bit and Jack’s hands hover behind her back in case she falls. “You ever been on a boat?”
“Not in awhile,” she says, settling down in a seat next to Luke. “I prefer having my feet on the ground.”
Luke’s eyebrows furrow. “You can swim, right?”
“What?” Amelie jokes quietly. “Are you planning on pushing me in?”
“No one is getting pushed in,” Quinn assures, sending a light glare at his two brothers as he starts steering them deeper into the lake. “Especially with those expensive cameras on board.”
“Are you really the one responsible for every photo of Luke playing hockey taken at Michigan?” Jack asks. 
She blinks, absolutely taken aback. “Not every photo, I’d say.”
“Definitely a good amount though,” Luke says. “I feel like you were always at every game.”
She shrugs, “Well, my boss started putting me on hockey more because I’m pretty sure I was the only one who could do it well.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Hey, it’s a tough sport to photograph. It’s fast and unpredictable and you have to have a sense of where the puck is going before it gets there.”
Amelie internally cringes at that last part. She sounds like a coach. 
“Did you like hockey before?” Quinn asks.
“Not really, to be honest. The first game I ever watched was at Michigan when I was shadowing.”
“You must’ve figured out pretty quickly where the puck will go, then, if you didn’t know much about hockey before,” Jack says with something like respect in his eyes.
Amelie smiles. “I guess.”
Quinn nods to the film camera that Amelie had picked up the second she got on the boat. “Can we see the picture you took of the boat?”
“I wish. I’m gonna get the film developed at the end of the summer and that’ll take a few weeks.” Quinn hums in understanding. She takes out her regular camera and pops off the lens cap, shoving it in her back. Luke’s eyes light up in recognition and she can’t help but chuckle. “You recognize this one?”
“How could I not?”
She points it at three of them. “Smile. All of you.” She snaps a couple before putting down her camera and playfully glaring at them. “Geez. At least act like you guys like each other.” She looks quickly at the photo with a satisfied nod, before turning her camera towards the brothers so they can see. 
They continue chatting, talking about various things from Michigan (the state and the school) to one of their cousins who just got engaged to where Amelie’s parents are (they also live in Michigan, though further south, but are currently visiting family in France that Amelie had seen last year when she studied abroad in France) to the upcoming season. Amelie mostly keeps quiet on that front, because she doesn’t need to let them know that she got a call yesterday with news that the NHL is closing in on a job offer that will determine where she spends the next few years.
The thought that she could be seeing these three multiple times throughout the season when she’s currently on their boat right now is just downright weird. She just met Quinn and Jack six days ago. She hasn’t seen Luke in two years. 
This whole thing is just weird. 
But whenever she feels too much in her own head, she just picks up her camera and points it at one of them or out at the lake, fiddling with lighting and focus settings. Sometimes she forgets that photography isn’t just going to be her career and that she can love it differently with no pressure and in a different light, no pun intended. 
With time, she gets more comfortable, sunglasses perched on her nose, chin tucked on her knees and laughter flowing out lighter and easier. It’s easier to pick up her camera when they start taking turns wakesurfing, her eyes widening when Jack jokingly tries to drag her out, and she’s either semi-impressed at their ability to make it look easy or laughing her ass off when they flail and fall. 
As she’s shutting off her camera — contrary to popular belief, she does need to put it away after a certain amount of time — Jack plops down next to her. Quinn and Luke are entranced in their own conversation towards the front. 
Jack runs a hand through his damp hair, “Do you mind handing me my shirt next to you?”
She hands it over with a weary look. “It’s boiling out.”
“Oh, so you want me to keep my shirt off.”
The smirk on his face has Amelie rolling her eyes. Boys. “You’re gonna wanna take it off again in like, 5 minutes. I just think you’re being dumb.”
Jack puts a hand over his heart in mock offense. “Ouch. That might be the harshest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“I met you six days ago.”
“And my point still stands.” She scrunches her nose a bit when Jack shakes out his hair and some water droplets land on her. He just smiles that half-smile that she’s not sure if she likes or hates. “Are you sure you don’t wanna get in the water?”
“I’m not wearing a bathing suit. And even then, I’m not a huge fan of being in the water.”
“Well, then, what are you a huge fan of? Besides being behind the camera.”
She tilts her head so that it’s leaning against her seat, turning to face him completely. “I used to dance competitively and continued dancing a bit in college. I read a lot. At school, I used to love just camping out at a cafe for hours for the vibes.” She shrugs. “Nothing much else though.”
He nods, before looking at the cameras in her bag. “Why photography?”
She smiles, like she always does when talking about photography. “Taking photos is really cool, I think, because you’re the middle man. You frame the story. And if you frame it well, people will look at the photo and know exactly what’s going on. With sports, it’s all about the timing and the moment. You can write an article describing a game with quotes from the players or whatever, and no disrespect to that. I have a good amount of friends who are journalists. But photo is different, because you can see it, you know?”
Jack nods. “I think I get what you mean. You got a boyfriend waiting for you somewhere? Or a significant other?”
Her eyes widen and a sharp laugh erupts out of her. That’s random. “What?”
Jack just shrugs like he didn’t just completely throw her off. “It’s a valid question, no? Don’t wanna assume or give off an unwanted vibe if we’re gonna be hanging out all summer.”
“Well, uh, no. No boyfriend or partner of any sort like that.”
“Really?”
“I don’t know why that surprises you.”
“Because you’re pretty. Nice. Talented, clearly. Surely the guys and gals and pals at Michigan aren’t stupid enough to turn you down.”
She bypasses all the compliments because that’s too much to think about right now, instead focusing on the latter half of his sentence. She wraps her arms around her legs to clasp her fingers together. “I dated a girl for a bit freshman year. Nothing happened. It just fizzled out. We’re still decent friends. And then I dated this guy for about a year. But that fell to shit pretty extraordinarily.”
“Most of them do, don’t they?”
Amelie unintentionally chuckles. “Oh yeah? And what about you? How’s your love life looking?”
Jack looks out into the distance, breaking eye contact for the first time this whole conversation. “Was in a relationship around two years ago. It didn’t work out because of distance. Nothing much since then.”
Amelie highly doubts that, but she keeps her mouth shut, leaving it alone. “Fair enough.
“So why Michigan? Anything in particular draw you in?”
“Well, I think Michigan is on anyone’s radar who grew up in this state,” she twists her ring around. “And then, uh, when I got offered a full ride, I knew I would’ve been an idiot to turn that down.”
His eyebrows shoot up his forehead. “A full ride? You serious?”
“Yeah. Academic scholarship.”
He lets out a low whistle. “Jesus. You’re smart smart. Even I know full academic scholarships aren’t given out easily.” Amelie ducks her chin down. She can feel herself blushing and she hates it. “Was it your first choice? Going to Michigan?”
“No,” she admits softly. And she knows she’s talking to someone who may not have gone there, but who might as well have. He might love the college more than she does and she’s the one who actually is an alum. “NYU was my top choice. And I got accepted, but I couldn’t afford it.”
He nods, and then Quinn asks Jack to take over so he can go on the water and the moment passes. She does move closer to the front partially so she’s under the sun again, mostly so she can be closer to everyone. Luke tosses her a bottle of water and she chugs a good half of it, shooting him a thankful smile.
Amelie’s missed this, to be honest. Despite deeply cherishing her alone time, she’s always enjoyed being around a small group of people, observing them and their dynamics to evaluate what kind of people they are. It reminds her of when she used to tag along with her two older sisters and their friends. 
And these three are easy-going. They don’t allow Amelie to get in her head because they’re always talking about something and asking for her two cents. In Amelie’s 22 years of life, she’s become quick to notice if people are being nice to be nice or being nice to be kind. 
The Hughes brothers are being nice to be kind. And Amelie hates herself a bit for thinking it would be the other. 
She sits back and relishes in their company.
day seven - jack
Jack’s had a great day. 
Practice this morning went well, he beat Quinn at ping pong (though that’s not hard to do) and the three brothers have confirmed who’s coming to the lakehouse in a few days after they’re back from their mini trip to visit their grandma for her 90th. There’s gonna be quite a few of the guys and Jack’s pumped. He always likes combining different groups of friends. 
After dinner, he’s feeling a bit restless, so he decides to go out on a drive. Maybe he’ll grab some ice cream, though if he comes back with ice cream and none for Luke or Quinn, they’re gonna bitch about it. He puts on his summer playlist, which is filled with country, and rolls down the windows before backing out. 
He’s probably driving too fast for what’s acceptable in a residential neighborhood, so it’s at the last moment does he stop when he recognizes Amelie in front of her grandparents’ place walking Susie. He slows down, and she looks behind her as he rolls up. 
He leans his head out of his window just as he hears her say, “Hey Char, I’ll call you tomorrow, okay? Yeah. Bye. Love you.” She takes her phone away from her ear and shoots him a small smile. “Hey Jack.”
“Hi. Was that one of your sisters?”
“Yeah, that was Char. Or Charlotte I guess. The middle one.”
Susie paws up to the window and he scratches her head. “Hey cutie. You’re such a good girl, aren’t you?”
“She’s been off the rails the whole day, so she actually hasn’t been.” Amelie says dryly, making him snort. 
“You up to anything right now?”
She narrows her eyes. “Why?”
He nods to his car, “Get in.”
“You sure?”
“Of course.”
“Gimme a second to let Susie back in. Pull into the driveway.” Jack obeys, idling the engine and unlocking the doors as he waits for Amelie to come back. 
While he’s waiting, he thinks back to yesterday, being on the boat for hours with Amelie, learning more about her. Jack’s been told that he can be pretty excitable and eager, which is probably how he has acquired so many friends throughout his life. But, despite what a lot of people may think, he isn’t that stupid. He’s been around Amelie the last week enough to know that she’s a tougher nut to crack. And he knows there’s more to her than what she’s shown so far. 
So he’ll take every chance, every moment, to get to know her better. Because September will come around sooner than he thinks. It always does.
She comes back out and climbs into the passenger seat, buckling her seatbelt as he backs out of the driveway. She’s thrown on a Michigan Hockey sweatshirt over herself, settling her small bag on her lap. “You’re not gonna kidnap me and bury me in the woods, are you?” She asks. 
Jack turns down his music with a chuckle. “No. I don’t have the brainpower for that. Have you eaten?”
“Yeah.” 
He nods, starting to navigate them towards his favorite ice cream place around here. “Where’d you get the sweatshirt?”
She looks down at herself, as if she didn’t realize what she threw on. “Oh. I don’t remember, to be honest. Either it was given to me or one of the guys let me borrow it and I never gave it back.”
“Luke mentioned you were a TA in some of the guys’ classes?”
She leans back in the seat, leaning her head on the seatbelt so that she’s facing him. “Yeah. I was a TA my junior year for one of Adam, Rutger and Gavin’s classes. Senior year Luca and Nick, who I think came in after Luke left so you might not know him, took the class.”
“Were they good students?”
Amelie snorts. “Good enough. Though one time Rut tried to bribe me into extending an assignment since they had a big game away that weekend — I think it was Ohio State. I also had to go on that trip and I had to grade all of their stuff plus deal with my own classes, so I told him, in polite words, to fuck off and submit his fucking paper on time.”
Jack laughs. He can picture it in his head, Rutger with his good looks and childish smile turning on the charm to 100 to a skeptical Amelie, bored but amused eyes as she watches him plead his side. Maybe she’s wearing a headband. Maybe she’s not. 
(She’s wearing one right now. A tiny white one that you’d miss if you weren’t looking) 
“Those boys…were they good?”
“You’re the hockey player. Shouldn’t you know?”
“No. I mean, like, were they good to you? Nice to you? Because if they were dickheads…”
“No!” Amelie is quick to assure him. “They were great. Honestly. During my entire four years working with the team, I never really had a problem with any of the guys. And I can’t say that about every team I had to photograph.”
“Oh?” Jack sneaks a look over to her as she’s looking at her hands. 
“Yeah.”
Jack wants to dig, but he doesn’t. He just doesn’t like the idea that people could be outwardly rude to Amelie when she’s just doing her job. He doesn’t like the idea that people could be outwardly rude to Amelie at all. 
They climb out of the car and he locks it with a click as they walk side by side to the counter to order. He smiles to himself as he lags behind a few steps, watching her bounce on her toes to try and see the flavor options. 
His attention is brought back into the moment as he feels Amelie tug the sleeve of his sweatshirt. “Is the Chocolate Delight good?”
“That’s Quinn’s favorite. It’s super chocolatey.”
“Perfect.” They both step up to the window. Jack orders himself a small Strawberry Cheesecake in a cup. Amelie orders a small Chocolate Delight in a cup and before the girl at the window can even finish listing out the total price, Jack practically shoves his credit card into her hand. 
Amelie gives him a scathing look. “Jack. Come on. You didn’t even give me a chance.”
“Precisely.” Her glare stays on her face. “It’s not a big deal. My treat for kidnapping you on our boat yesterday and kidnapping you tonight.”
“So you are kidnapping me,” she says, referring to her earlier comment. She relaxes and Jack calls it a win as they’re given their ice creams. They snag a high-top table that’s a bit away from the other crowded tables. He watches as she digs in, a small satisfied smile on her face, turning sideways to look at the sunset.
He’s not the photographer, but he wishes he could take a picture of her right now. 
They eat their ice cream in relatively comfortable silence, and he feels satisfied when he plays with her foot under the table and it causes her to chuckle. She does kick him back hard enough to make him flinch though.
20 minutes later, they’re sitting in the back of Jack’s car at a lake lookout catching the last streaks of the sunset when he pipes up. “Colette. Charlotte. Amelie. Very French.”
“Well, that’s what happens when your mother is French.”
“What do they do?”
“Col’s doing some cool stuff with fashion merchandising in New York. Just got engaged and getting married sometime next year. Char’s at Stanford getting her PhD in…something that involves physics and is over my head.” 
Jack chuckles. “I feel that. My sister’s doing her residency at NYU and no matter how hard I want to understand, when she gets on her tangents, I can never follow.”
Amelie’s eyebrows furrow. “Sister?”
“Oh, well, not actually. It’s Clementine. One of us must’ve mentioned her yesterday,” Jack says. “She’s not my sister by blood, but our parents have been best friends since forever and we all grew up together, so she might as well be. Went to UCLA and then, also Stanford, actually. So for eight years, I didn’t really get to see her that often.” Jack digs out his phone and flickers through his photos before clicking on the one his mom took of him, Quinn, Luke and Clementine in New Hampshire earlier in the summer.
“She’s pretty,” Amelie remarks softly. 
Jack smiles. “I don’t think I’d be the same if I didn’t have her growing up. We actually live together in Jersey now. Me, her and Luke. It’s a fun time, even if she pretends it’s not.”
“She’s doing her residency, you said?”
“Yeah,” he takes his phone back. “This I do know. Combined residency with pediatrics and the ER. Just finished her first year out of five.”
Amelie whistles. “Good for her. So she’ll be in New York and Jersey for the near future?”
“Yup,” Jack’s smile seems to always be permanent on his face when talking about Clementine. “Though now she’s dating Hisch so that’s a whole thing.”
“She’s dating your captain?” Amelie chuckles, eyebrows raised in amusement. “I sure hope you like him.”
“I love Nico,” he defends himself. “I was rooting for them to get together. They were tiptoeing around each other all of last season. But now that they’re actually dating I just like being a bitch about it to give them a hard time.”
Amelie shoves her hands in her sweatshirt. “That’s what siblings do.”
“I can’t imagine you being a bitch to your sisters’ significant others they’ve brought home.”
She shrugs, “I don’t think I am. I’ve been told I can be a bit closed-off when you first meet me though.”
“Hey. Nothing wrong with taking time to feel people out.” 
“Some people don’t have the patience for that, though.”
“For what?”
“I don’t know. A lot of people just assume people who aren’t outwardly charismatic aren’t worth their time.”
Jack blinks, thinking about her words over and over again like a broken record. “Well, then they’re missing out.”
She looks at him and he’s momentarily distracted by the way her white headband creates a sort of halo around her. She lets out a small smile. Jack wants to frame it and put it on the wall of his room back in Jersey. She chuckles, and Jack feels defensive all of a sudden.
“What?” He asks, trying not to sound indignant. 
“Nothing, it’s just…I don’t know. That’s such an interesting thing coming from someone who I imagine is exactly just that.”
“Just what?” He’s not doing a great job today at keeping track of where a conversation goes. 
She huffs. “Outwardly charismatic. You’re telling me you’re not?”
Jack’s hands suddenly start to sweat. “I mean, I guess. But that doesn’t come easy to everyone. I still don’t think it comes easy to me. I’ve just been forced to be okay at it because of what I do.”
She starts swatting at bugs so they hop out of the trunk and start driving back. She doesn’t miss a beat in their conversation. “That’s another reason why I love photography. No one expects anything out of me or pays attention to me.”
Jack can’t help but laugh, thinking back to his rookie year and all the damn expectations that were placed on him that he didn’t surpass. It’s water under the bridge now, but he would be lying if he said that he doesn’t think about it once in awhile, especially when the draft bust comments come back after a stretch of bad games. 
“I don’t know what that’s like, having no one expect anything out of me,” he admits, carefully pulling out on the main road. 
“Do you like that? Having a chip on your shoulder?”
“Yeah, in a way. Definitely lights a fire under your ass and motivates you. But, I don’t know, it can get to be a lot, I guess. But I’m used to it. People have been expecting things out of me since I was 16. Younger, even.”
Amelie hums, adjusting her headband. “Must be a lonely place to be at times.”
“Where?”
“The top.” 
Jack mulls over her words in his brain. Once. Twice. A third time. He clears his throat. “I’ve never thought about it like that.” 
When he’s about to sleep that night, he replays their conversations in his head until he finally drifts off. 
day twelve - amelie
Amelie’s a bit glad to have had a few days away from Jack — from any of the Hughes brothers — as they went on a mini trip to Canton to celebrate their grandmother’s birthday. She’s been filling her time by taking walks with Susie, tagging along to help Ruth with groceries and humoring Stanley when he wants to go sit at his favorite diner for hours to talk. Retirement’s pretty nice, Amelie thinks, but even she’s starting to get a bit restless. 
So when she gets a text from Jack after finishing her morning coffee — she forgets when they exchanged numbers or if they ever even did. Luke could’ve given it to him — she’s actually excited.
Weird. When’s the last time Amelie has felt excited to get a text?
Jack Hughes
amelie my amelie 
we just got back last night
and a bunch of your boys are here for a few days 
you should come by and say hi
Amelie furrows her eyebrows as she responds. 
Amelie Fishel 
my boys?
Jack Hughes
beniers, briss, blankenburg, fants, brindley and eddy 
i might be leaving someone out but you get it 
Amelie blinks. She hasn’t heard some of those names in years. And they’re just all over the house right now? 
Hockey players are weird. Their friendships and circles and how they overlap are even weirder. 
Amelie Fishel 
that’s a lotta boys 
Jack Hughes 
yeah and that’s not even all of them 
luke mentioned that you’re nearby and they’re kinda harping on me to get you to come over 
i also just wanna see you 
“You should go,” Amelie jumps out of her seat. Luckily, Ruth isn’t directly behind her. She doesn’t particularly want to be nursing her grandma’s injuries. 
“Don’t eavesdrop on my conversations, Grandma.”
“You should go,” Ruth repeats. “Those boys were sweet and polite over dinner. And you know their friends?”
“Yeah. Photographed quite a few of them at college throughout the years.”
“Then you should go.”
“Aren’t we about to go to lunch with some of your friends?”
Ruth tuts. “They’d perfectly understand you ditching us old gossips to hang out with your friends.”
“I’m going to lunch with you. I haven’t seen them in awhile either and I like your friends,” Amelie says firmly. One look from Ruth and Amelie relents. “I’ll go see the guys after dinner. If they even want me.”
Amelie Fishel 
won’t be around until after dinner
dunno if that changes your invite
Jack Hughes 
see you after dinner 🫡
i’ll try to hold off your fan club in the meantime 
(As Amelie goes upstairs to change, Ruth chuckles to herself. She remembers the middle Hughes brother unable to keep his eyes off Amelie at dinner that night.)
After dinner comes, and she shuffles through her dressers before reminding herself that it doesn’t matter what she wears. She throws on her favorite pair of jean shorts and tosses on a Stanford sweatshirt she stole from Charlotte ages ago. She grabs her tote bag, kisses her grandparents goodbye and pats Susie on the head before walking out the door. 
As she approaches the Hughes home, she rolls her eyes at all the cars parked in their driveway and lining down the street. Exactly how many people are here? 
She hears voices coming from the back and decides to forgo the front door and paddles over through their side yard into the back. Amelie pauses at the sight, taking in what must be at least ten people by the firepit. She tries to be discreet, figuring out where or who she should head to first. But a voice calling out loudly stops her. 
“Mimi!” Before she knows it, Adam Fantilli crashes into her body. She grunts into his chest as he lifts her up. 
“Call me that one more time and you won’t have a season to get back to in Columbus.”
Gavin chuckles from behind Adam, before reaching out for his much tamer hug. Good. “Nice to know some things don’t change.”
She huffs, but her heart does feel lighter. “I saw you, like, three months ago, Brinds. No one changes that much in three months.” She lets the two boys each swing an arm around her shoulders and gets smushed in the middle, both simultaneously talking her ear off. She’s not really catching what they say, and she thinks they don’t actually care, but it’s nice to be around them again. Really nice. Familiar. 
She’s led to the fire, and feels her smile grow as Nick Blankenburg, Brendan Brisson and Matty Beniers all bounce over and give her enthusiastic hugs and greetings. God, it’s been so long since she’s seen them. Even though she was younger and more naive when photographing them her freshman year, they were on her first roster. And there’s always something special about the first one.
“The fact that you decided to stick around the boys for four years says a lot,” Nick says with a smile. “Did you like them as much as the guys during your first year though?”
“You never forget your first!” Matty chimes in and Brendan throws his head back in laughter. Amelie’s sick of them already, rolling her eyes as she greets Luke with a tight side hug. 
She beams at Ethan, whose smile is just as big. “Hi Eddy.”
“Hey Ami,” She lets out a laugh as the smiley Canadian smothers her in a hug. “I didn’t think I’d be seeing you so soon. I’ve missed you.”
“Me neither,” she mumbles into his chest before pulling away. “Missed you too.”
“Well, we obviously know who the favorite is.” Someone pipes in and her eyes track toward the voice. This guy definitely didn’t go to Michigan, but has one of the most contagious smiles she’s ever seen. “I’m Trevor. Friend of Jack’s. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Ah, yes. She remembers Jack mentioning him a few times. “Nice to meet you, Trevor.” She turns to the last person she doesn’t know. Dark brown, curly hair and pouty lips. “You must be Alex.”
Alex’s eyebrows shoot up and Amelie kinda likes that he doesn’t hide his surprise. “Yeah. Jack talk about me too?”
“Yeah. Mostly Ellen though. Said that you’re the favorite.” Alex grins as Trevor howls in laughter. 
“He is,” Jack grumbles from behind her. “Even to this day, It’s quite annoying.” Jack shoots her a quick smile and Amelie smiles back before thanking Quinn quietly as he passes her a cider. 
She looks around to see that all of the guys have beer in their hands. She had mentioned off the cuff on the boat that she hates beer. She’s touched that they remembered. She takes a seat in one of the adirondack chairs, Jack on one side and Adam on her other. 
“I saw Luke’s story. How was golfing?”
“Good,” Quinn says. 
“You a golfer, Mimi?”
Again, Amelie glares at the young Blue Jacket. “I think I’d rather do anything else.”
Brendan chuckles. “I recognize that glare. I’ve almost missed it.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Amelie says, sipping her drink and wrapping her arms around herself. Jack tosses the large blanket over both their legs and she nudges his foot with hers as a thank you. 
The boys are loud and talk over each other and Amelie can’t remember the last time she’s rolled her eyes this much. She takes the bag of chips that Ethan passes her and finishes it off, much to Luke’s dismay. And of course, true to herself, she takes out her camera to snap a few photos. As the sky darkens and fire blazes, Amelie feels warm, chiming in occasionally when she sees fit but mostly listening. 
Amelie’s attention is pulled back to the present with Ethan asking her a question. “You mentioned at the end of the season that you were looking at jobs with some different sports leagues.” She doesn’t remember telling him that, but if there’s anyone she would tell, it would be him. “Did any of that, you know, go anywhere?”
Amelie smiles. “I’m in the final stages of, uh, figuring out something with the NHL.”
Jack’s eyes widen. “No US Soccer anymore?”
Amelie shrugs. “Maybe in the future. But no, not right now. Least not full-time.”
“Wait,” Ethan pushes with wide, excited eyes. “Ami. Are you gonna be-”
“I don’t wanna jinx it,” Amelie says with her hand up, but a smile peeks through. “It’s not a sure thing yet. They’re trying to figure out with what team or area of the country. Or that’s what they told me.”
Cheers erupt and she kinda wants to hide her face behind her hands. Popcorn is thrown at her and she swats it away. She turns to look at Jack, who smiles and picks a kernel out of her hair. 
It’s a beautiful smile. She wishes she saw it more often, instead of the half smirk half smile he always does. 
“Any chance you’d be in Jersey?” Luke asks as Ethan grins and Jack nudges her elbow.
“Columbus also works!” Adam calls out, high-fiving Nick and Gavin.
“California sunshine is nice,” Trevor sings out. 
“Just the west coast in general,” Quinn adds as Brendan, Alex and Matty all nod emphatically. 
“Your pitches all need some work,” Amelie snorts, before shrugging. “Honestly, I’ll be fine anywhere. Just not Michigan. I need to get out of here.” Everyone laughs, but she catches Jack’s inquisitive look. She quickly lets herself get dragged into a conversation with Quinn, Nick and Adam instead. 
She eyes the pool table through the window of the sunroom and Jack catches her, challenging her to a game. She, along with Jack, Adam and Ethan decide to go in for a quick game. They split up into teams, her and Jack on one, Adam and Ethan on the other.
She eyes the chalkboard and grimaces at Jack’s less-than-desirable record. “Do I really want you on my team?”
Jack follows her eyeline and rolls his eyes. “Ignore that.”
“Kinda hard to,” she squints. “Damn, I should’ve dragged Quinn in here.” Jack pouts as Ethan snickers, her waving at Adam to break. 
What Amelie failed to voice when she saw the pool table is that she is pretty damn good at pool. During the few times she went out in college, it’s how she and her friends liked to get free drinks. She would challenge a few of her overconfident guy friends or acquaintances and bet a free drink or two. Though actually, she remembers she played against Adam at least once and absolutely destroyed him. She’s surprised and amused that he doesn’t remember, if his wide eyed indignation at her sinking a seemingly-impossible shot says anything, much to Jack’s amusement. 
“Holy shit,” Jack says, impressed. “Who taught you to play? Can you give me their number?”
Amelie shrugs with a small smirk, watching Adam take his turn. “There was a diner I grew up nearby that had a table. I honestly can’t remember who taught me. I just played against my sisters a lot.”
“We should’ve placed a bet on this. You two didn’t know about this secret talent?” Jack says, directing the question to the former Wolverines. 
“Yeah, Adam,” she eggs on, laughing as his shot misses. “You should remember. I got you and Truscott to buy me a drink out of it once.” Adam curses in realization as Ethan cackles. 
“Wait, I remember that,” Ethan says. “I was even shocked that you were out and about, considering all the times you turned our invites down. Imagine me hearing that not only are you out, you also just single handedly took down the two best pool players on the team.” 
“Turning down invites to parties, huh?” Jack chuckles.  
Amelie rolls her eyes, watching Jack take his shot. “No. They were all just up in my business when I was trying to be professional.”
Ethan scoffs. “Professional? Yeah, okay.”
“Professional,” Amelie repeats. “I was working for you guys, technically.”
“Ew, no you weren’t,” Adam says, crinkling his nose. “Don’t say that. God. You were just as much part of the team as we were.”
“I don’t know about that,” she watches Jack mess up his shot and just rolls her eyes. “All I did was take pictures of you all.”
“Part of the team,” Ethan emphasizes, also messing up his shot. God, Amelie thinks. These boys are bad at pool. “Stop pretending we weren’t your favorites to photograph.”
“Yeah, admit it!” Adam chimes in. “You were easier on me when grading papers too.”
“I was absolutely not,” she says. “The fact that you treated pre-game as office hours made me grade you harder.” They just wave her off and Amelie huffs. 
“Look where being professional got you,” Ethan smirks. “Some fun friendships, eh?” She smacks his shoulder. 
“You’re lucky I like you,” Amelie warns, before sinking in the 8-ball with a smirk. Adam and Ethan groan as Jack cheers, placing an overzealous kiss on her cheek before going to the chalkboard. “You’re welcome for the win.”
When the fire starts to die out and more people start yawning an hour later, Amelie decides to call it a night. She gives everybody a hug, promising more than once that she’ll see everyone at least one more time before they leave in five days. Jack offers to walk her home and she doesn’t even bother fighting. 
They start walking. Amelie flips her hood up and Jack shoves his hands in the pockets of his shorts. “You lied to me.”
She furrows her eyebrows. “Huh?”
“Said the guys were just nice to you. They love you.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“And you love them.”
Amelie stares down at her shoes with a shrug. “Like I said, they’re good guys.” She looks back up and tugs at his sweatshirt sleeve. “Thanks for the invite.”
���Of course.” Jack says. “You’re always welcome.”
“I don’t think you mean that.”
“I never say things I don’t mean,” he says lightly. “Waste of time and energy.”
Amelie swallows, Jack’s woody cologne filtering through her nose and all of a sudden, it feels like he’s too close, but she can’t pull herself away. “Thank you though. Seriously. You’re right. I-I’ve missed them.” 
She lets him pull her into a side hug and doesn’t say anything when he keeps his arm swung around her shoulder. “Do you have any plans tomorrow?”
Amelie chuckles. “What are you thinking?”
“Well, turns out some of the guys want a rematch because they’re mad I beat their asses so we’re golfing again tomorrow, but we’re starting early.”
“I’m not going golfing. Even the best bribe couldn’t bring me out there.”
“I’m not asking you to come golfing,” Jack laughs. “It’s just, contrary to what you may believe, I’m kinda annoying in the morning and need caffeine and fuel to deal with that many people, especially before going on the course.”
“Jack, what are you-”
“Do you wanna grab breakfast tomorrow? Just the two of us? Those fuckers never get up in time.”
“So you’re gonna let them starve?”
“They can figure themselves out.”
They stop at her front door and she turns around. Him being on the step below causes them to be at the same height. “Sure.”
The left side of his lips quirk up. “Yeah?” 
“Yeah. Though subjecting me to your pre-caffeine self seems like you’re trying to sabotage me.”
He rolls his eyes. “Does 9 work?”
Despite herself, Amelie grins. “See you then.” She reaches behind her to twist the doorknob. “Thanks for walking me home. Goodnight Jack.”
“Goodnight.” 
She watches through the window until he walks out of sight. She then looks at the lone light still on in the kitchen and has an idea. 
day thirteen - jack
Jack’s not an idiot, despite what his brothers and teammates may tell you. He knows this isn’t a date. 
But it sure feels like one. 
Jack’s looking at the suitcase he probably should’ve fully unpacked by now, figuring out what to wear. It’s literally just breakfast with a girl he met not even two weeks ago, so he shouldn’t really care what he’s wearing. 
Breakfast. With a girl he met less than two weeks ago. A girl whose company he really, really enjoys. 
He shakes his head at himself, pulling out a black t-shirt and khaki shorts. He decides to clasp on a watch before he can overthink himself out of it. 
At 8:57, he quietly paddles downstairs and grabs the keys off the hook before jumping into his car. He barely pulls into her driveway before her front door opens. A smile spreads across his face at Amelie, her floral pink dress flying behind her as she rushes out, quickly checking she has what she needs in her tote bag before opening the car door. 
“Good morning,” he says. 
“Hey,” she breathes out. She scans him up and down really quickly. It makes him swallow. “You look nice.”
He backs out of the driveway. “You do too.” When he gets to look at her again, he notices the matching hair scarf hanging from her ponytail. “I like the thing in your hair. You look like a fairy.”
“A fairy?”
“Yeah.”
She blinks. “Oh. That’s…really nice, I think? Thank you.”
“Definitely a compliment.” He bites his lip to stop his smile from growing too wide. She hums along to the song on the radio and looks out the window. He rolls it down for her and watches her lean her elbows at the edge, her head peeking out. 
Jack has to drag his eyes back to focus on the road. The sight of Amelie sitting shotgun while he’s driving brings a feeling in his stomach he’s never felt before. At least not to this depth. 
She turns to him. “Where are we going?”
“Sunny Side Up right off Beecher Ave.”
She chuckles. “That’s Grandpa’s favorite place. We might catch him come in as we leave.”
He freezes a bit as he slows the car down with a stop at the light, at the thought of Stanley coming in to see him with his beloved granddaughter, both semi-dressed up on a Wednesday morning, just the two of them. 
When they arrive, he holds open the door for her, and breathes in the smells of coffee and eggs and everything good coming out of the kitchen of Sunny Side Up. The place is emptier than he expected, but he also knows the typical brunch crowd rolls in a bit later. The hostess tells them to sit wherever they like and he follows Amelie to a spot by the window. They barely slip into their seats before he hears a familiar scratchy yet comforting voice. 
“Amelie!” The woman then turns her head and doesn’t even hide her surprise as her grin grows. “And Jack Hughes. What a nice surprise.”
“Hey Sherry,” Jack nods with a grin.
He sees Amelie’s eyes light up, even if it’s subdued. “Hi Sherry.”
The older woman that Jack has seen here every summer since he moved here sets two menus down. She offers Jack a pointed look that looks awfully like his mother’s. “I haven’t seen you here this summer as often as past summers. You cheating on us with some other cafe?”
“I’m a loyal guy, Sherry,” he charms. “I would never.”
Sherry narrows her eyes, “Mmhmm. I’ll get you two some coffee while you decide what you want.”
Amelie nods and flashes a warm smile. “Thank you.” They watch Sherry scurry away. The sound of Amelie’s gentle laugh pulls his attention back to her. “You come here often, huh? Well, clearly not often enough this summer.”
“Hey, you can’t even say that,” Jack whines. “Clearly you come here often too.”
She shrugs, “Like I said, it’s Grandpa’s favorite place. I come here with him at least once a week.”
“Do you have any friends around the area?” Amelie’s eyebrows shoot up and Jack immediately backtracks. “Not that-I didn’t mean it like that. I just-”
Amelie snorts, leaning back in her seat. “Chill Jack. I know what you meant. The ones who are in Michigan aren’t close by and the rest are spread out across the country. I came to my grandparents’ knowing that I wouldn’t see a lot of my friends. Kinda purposeful on my end, in a way. But then Luke saw me walk Susie and now here we are.”
“Don’t pretend like you haven’t enjoyed our company.”
“It’s definitely made my summer more eventful.” Their coffees come and neither of them look at the menu before ordering. Jack orders the french toast with strawberries and blueberries and she gets the house omelet. Jack ignores the pointed look that Sherry gives both of them, because he’s right with her and kinda has no idea what to make of this but is trying to enjoy it while he can. 
He feels her nudge his feet under the table. He snaps his focus back to her as she nods to the cup of creamers next to him. “Pass me two?”
He nods, obliging. “Sugar?”
She shakes her head. “I’m good. Thanks.”
Jack watches her stir the creamer in before a sudden thought pops up. “Yesterday, when you said that you don’t care where you went as long as it wasn’t Michigan, what did you mean by that?”
Amelie, to her credit, doesn’t seem surprised by the sudden question. “Exactly what I said. It’s nothing against the Red Wings. I just need to get out of here.”
“Why?” 
She stares at him for a few seconds, and Jack gets nervous. Before he can take back the question, she answers. “When you haven’t really gotten the chance to travel or live anywhere your whole life and a job offers you to go anywhere, you take the chance.”
Jack nods slowly. He’s gotten to travel to a lot of places through hockey, but he still considers Michigan his home and often feels an urge to come back during the season — as much as he thoroughly enjoys living and playing in New Jersey. It’s hard for him to wrap his head around the fact that someone could want out of Michigan. 
She smiles and chuckles a bit suddenly. Jack raises an eyebrow in question. She just shakes her head. He thinks she’s adorable. “Sorry, I’m not laughing at you. I just thought of something.”
“Do share with the class.”
“I’ve been so excited at the prospect of leaving Michigan, but it’s so clear you and your brothers love it and I don’t know. It’s nice to be reminded of the good parts of this state.”
He shrugs, “I don’t know. I guess throughout the season I don’t really get to be around Quinn or my friends and family that often, so when all of us have the off-season, we all naturally gravitate towards home, which nowadays, is here.”
“You don’t have to defend yourself about why you like this state, Jack,” she says with a small chuckle. “I get it. My family’s technically all here too, so I can’t escape it completely.”
Their food arrives soon after and they spend a few silent minutes just digging in. He cuts a piece of his french toast for her and she in turn cuts him a portion of her omelet. He’s hoping that she’s not catching the fact that he can’t keep his eyes off of her. 
When they finish, Jack shoves his card into Sherry’s hand when she grabs the check, they’re walking out of the diner, full and content. The sun is beating down but not too hard that Jack feels gross. Hopefully it stays that way when he and the boys go out golfing in an hour. 
“Do you have a second to come inside?”
Jack’s eyebrows immediately shoot up his forehead, killing the engine. “Yeah. Why?”
“Just come inside,” Amelie rolls her eyes. “I’m not gonna kill you.”
“Reassuring,” he deadpans, following her through the front door and immediately bending down to pet Susie and prevent her from running out. He watches Amelie disappear into the kitchen for a moment before she comes back out with a tupperware container filled with…cookies?
“For you,” Amelie hands him the tupperware. “And the other guys.”
“What are these?”
“I kinda got a burst of energy after I came home last night and wanted to do something with my hands. You’re gonna tell me you guys are gonna turn down fresh cookies?”
“No,” he says, looking back at her. “Thank you.” 
She smiles. “You’re welcome.”
Jack opens his mouth and then closes it. He wants to ask why she made the cookies. Why she’s giving a large container of them to him and their friends. If it means anything.
Instead, he backs towards the door. “See you around?”
“Yeah,” she says. “Have fun golfing with the boys. I don’t want to hear a single thing about it.”
He laughs. “I won’t subject you to that. Promise.”
“I’ll hold you to it. And thanks for breakfast.”
“Of course.”
“Stop paying for me though.”
“Never.”
She playfully shoves him out the door with an eye roll. He thinks he could see that eye roll for the rest of his life and feel content.
day fifteen - amelie
As she’s pouring herself a second cup of coffee, she hears someone knocking on the front door. Ruth’s out walking Susie and Stanley’s out golfing with friends the day, so Amelie trudges over to the front door. 
It’s Quinn, in a Canucks sweatshirt and basketball shorts, his hands shoved into his pockets.
Amelie smiles easily, albeit confused. “Hey Quinn.”
“Morning.”
“What’s up?”
He shifts on his feet. “Are you busy?”
“Not really,” she opens the door wider for him to come in. “I was just editing some photos. Coffee?”
“Please.”
“Anything in it?
“A bit of milk if you have some.”
She hums, preparing his coffee and carefully sliding it over to him as he rests his forearms on the island. “Where are the rest of the guys?”
He shrugs. “Either asleep or just hanging out. We had a tough practice this morning.”
“And you decided to come here?” She teases. She doesn’t want him to think he’s not welcome, because she actually really likes Quinn, despite spending the least amount of time with him compared to his brothers. 
“Kinda wanted some peace and quiet, to be honest, which is hard to find in the house when there’s so many people,” he admits, before nodding to her open laptop. “You said you were editing photos? What for?”
“Partially to update my portfolio. Partially to brush up on my skills.” She moves the laptop so he can see it. Pulled up is a picture she took last year at a Michigan swim meet. “See how it’s a little too bright here?” She clicks on the dodge tool in the open Photoshop tab and quickly edits. “There.”
“Do you do this with every photo?”
“Sometimes I switch between different softwares, but it’s generally the same process. The big differences that I have to be aware of are lighting and composition when editing.”
Quinn nods. “This is sick. Like, super cool.”
She quickly saves her work before turning her full attention back to Quinn, smiling. “Thank you.”
“Do you have any photos you’ve taken of us the last few weeks?”
With that, Amelie scoots herself closer to him and slowly scrolls through a bunch of photos, starting from that day onto the boat and then to the fire the other night and other miscellaneous ones inbetween. Quinn lingers on a picture that’s one of her favorites, one that makes her smile everytime she sees it. It’s of Jack the night of the fire. The light from the fire is illuminating the front of his face while the dawn of the Michigan sky behind him casts him in a subtle light. 
He’s looking away from the camera — at Gavin, if she remembers correctly — in the middle of laughing. His hair is all tousled over his forehead, some loose strands going over his eyes. His blue eyes are bright and if she showed this photo to anyone who didn’t know Jack Hughes, she’s sure they would be able to hear his laughter anyways.
He looks radiant. Everything like the bright and intense first-overall draft pick he was projected to be. As she watches Quinn’s eyes flicker over the photo, she thinks there’s something incredibly intimate about the way the camera captures the middle Hughes brother. 
(“The subject of the camera makes up less than one percent of the photograph,” Professor Yang, one of her most trusted mentors said to her once. “The majority of the beauty of a photograph comes from the photographer themself and how they see the subject.“
It’s always at the most inconvenient times does Professor Yang’s voice ping through her head.)
She watches Quinn click through other photos, some edited, most of them raw. He makes small comments here and there asking about the mechanics of photography and how she knows when and what to shoot her lens at. She tries to explain in a way that would make sense to someone who knows little to nothing about photography and Quinn, to his credit, is keeping up the best he can. She goes to pour Quinn another round of coffee as Ruth comes back in through the side door, Susie trotting over to Quinn happily, who pets her. Ruth merely smiles as she’s sliding off her shoes at the sight of the eldest Hughes brother. 
“Good morning, Quinn.”
Quinn grins. “Good morning. Sorry for interrupting.”
Ruth waves him off, coming to kiss the top of Amelie’s head. “Not at all. I see Amelie here has offered you some coffee. Would you like some chocolate chip cookies? Also courtesy of Amelie.”
“Not on the meal plan, I’m sure,” Amelie comments dryly. 
Quinn laughs loudly. “No, but it is the summer.” He reaches into the container in Ruth’s hands. “Thank you. I actually had some of the ones you gave Jack last night. They’re really good.”
Amelie ignores the look she knows her grandmother is giving her. “Thanks. I could teach you how to make them, if you’d like. My, uh, an old friend of mine taught me a trick his mom taught him that make it extra gooey.”
She, again, ignores the look her grandmother is giving her. Quinn doesn’t need to know that old friend is her ex-boyfriend. 
(Humans are interesting in the way that they’re mosaics, made up of the pieces — people, in this case — they’ve encountered in their lives. Amelie hates what Cooper did to her, but she will never forget the methods he taught her about making the perfect chocolate chip cookie)
Quinn grins. “I’d love to know, actually. I’ve been wanting to figure out how to bake simple things to, like, bring to events and stuff. I should, right? Being captain and all.”
Amelie snorts as she starts getting ingredients. “If you say so.”
Quinn and Ruth start chatting inbetween Amelie telling Quinn what to do. She can tell her grandmother is absolutely charmed by Quinn’s politeness and overall presence. And to be honest, she is as well.  
It makes sense that he’s captain, in the way he speaks, listens and guides. Amelie thinks if she were on a sports team, she’d ride into battle with, for and alongside him. 
Quinn spills a bit of flour on the counter and Amelie just snorts, waving away his apologies and telling him to crack the eggs. She just eyes him to make sure he isn’t fucking that up while listening to Ruth talk about something Charlotte told her on a call the other day. 
“You know,” Ruth starts and Amelie immediately doesn’t like where her tone is going. “My granddaughters are pretty great people, present company included. Colette’s engaged, but Charlotte’s single.”
Amelie bursts out in laughter as Quinn starts blinking, no doubt trying to think quickly about how to respond to that. “Grandma, at least try to be subtle about it.”
“Why? I’m too old for that.”
“With all love, I don’t think Quinn is Char’s type. Char only dates assholes, remember?”
Quinn laughs in surprise as Ruth taps her chin with a small smile. “I suppose that’s true. The boy she brought back last summer wasn’t too bad.”
“He told me photography wasn’t a real career and that I was wasting my time,” Amelie deadpans as the oven beeps. She nods at Quinn to put in the trays. “I get that he’s in academia like Char, but what a shitty take.”
“Maybe introducing Quinn to her will break her streak,” Ruth suggests. 
Amelie rolls her eyes to humor her. “How do you even know if Quinn is single?”
Ruth eyes him. “Are you?”
Quinn clears his throat, “I am. Newly single though.” 
Amelie didn’t know that, and it’s not her place to pry. She grimaces as she pulls him into a side hug. “That settles it, then. I’m keeping Quinn to myself.” Luckily, that gets him to smile.  
Just as the oven beeps and Ruth moves to start preparing lasagna, (“Sit down, Quinn. You’re not going anywhere.” Ruth had said with a firm voice as Quinn was trying to leave, not wanting to intrude for lunch), the doorbell rings. Amelie blinks. She has a feeling she knows who’s on the other side of the door. 
It’s a slightly smaller group than the night by the fire. Jack, Luke, Adam, Ethan, Alex and the sweet smile of a guy who wasn’t here last time. But Jack has shown her enough pictures and he’s talked about Cole Caufield enough that Amelie is 99% sure it’s him. 
“Hey Mimi!” 
“Don’t call me that,” she automatically responds to Adam. “You all here for lunch?”
“Ruth invited us,” Luke pipes up. Well, that explains why she was taking out such a large portion of lasagna sheets. “Susie saw Jack getting the mail and kinda mauled him. 
“Of course she did,” Amelie steps aside as one by one, they greet her with a quick hug. She hugs Cole for a bit longer. “Cole, right? It’s nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too,” Cole beams. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”
She chuckles softly as they follow everyone else. She tries to ignore Jack behind them, knowing he’s listening in. “Anything Eddy says about me is 100% true. The others you can take with a grain of salt.”
“Even when Jack tells me he thinks you’re one of the prettiest and talented people he’s ever met?” 
Amelie’s eyebrows jump up as she looks at Jack, who doesn’t even look ashamed. He even shoots her a quick wink and she’s for sure blushing. She turns back to Cole with a shy grin. “I don’t know about that.”
They walk towards the kitchen, where Ruth is shooing everyone out with the plate of cookies Amelie and Quinn just made. Amelie leads them all outside, squinting against the sun as she quickly grabs a few chairs so everyone has a place to sit. She leans her head on her chin as she focuses on what seems a continuation of a previous conversation about relationships, or lack thereof. She rolls her eyes. Typical. She’s honestly surprised this didn’t come up at the fire the other night in the Hughes backyard. 
She munches on a cookie and merely smiles as Jack finds his way to the seat next to hers. He nudges her knee with hers and she bumps him back.
“Hey,” he says softly so that only she can hear him. 
“Hi.”
“I like your bow. You look pretty.”
Amelie reaches up to touch the black sheer bow clipped atop her ponytail. “Thank you. Sorry Suz attacked you earlier.”
Jack shrugs, the sunshine painting his cheeks an endearing rosy pink. “Gonna get lunch out of it, aren’t I?”
“You flash your smile at Grandma and I’m pretty sure she’d bake you a cake everyday.”
He only smirks before they both tune back into the conversation. Though from where Jack is sitting, Amelie has a perfect peripheral view of him. He has a Yankees cap on backwards, his curls peeking out at the ends. His summer tan is obvious against the white t-shirt he’s wearing with light-washed jeans. 
It’s not the first time that Amelie has noticed how attractive he is. It’s the first time that she has to swallow and force herself to focus on Adam’s voice because she wants to…kiss him. Shit, she really wants to kiss Jack Hughes. 
Horrible.
“What do you think, Amelie?” Her head whips at the sound of Luke’s voice. 
“What are we talking about?”
Luke smirks and Amelie wants to slap him. “Past relationships, to sum it up. Mostly Adam’s.” And Quinn’s, Amelie fills in in her head, because it’s true, even if it’s unspoken. 
“What about them?” 
The air suddenly feels a bit heavy, the most solemn it’s been since Luke saw her at the end of his driveway two weeks ago. 
“Do you think it’s a thing to lose feelings for someone? Like is it real?”
Some sort of noise erupts out of her mouth before she can stop it. If the guys weren’t intrigued before, they are now, as they fall silent, waiting for her next words. She chooses her next words carefully. 
“I think it’s more of an excuse that people use when they don’t want to justify or dig into the real reason why they’re feeling the way they are.” Someone whistles. She thinks it’s Alex, but she’s not 100% sure. Amelie winces. “Sorry, did I just attack someone?”
“Just my ex,” Adam says. 
“Oh good. No one here then.” Amelie offers him a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry though. I know how much that sucks to hear.”
“It does.”
“I had to learn that it’s rarely your fault that they supposedly lost feelings. It took me awhile to figure that out, but I did.” She turns to Adam and tries to give him a reassuring smile. “It sucks. Agonizing over everything you could’ve done better and asking yourself why you weren’t enough for them to stick around. At least that’s how it was for me.”
“That’s…kinda exactly how it felt,” Adam admits. “Feels, even now, sometimes.”
Amelie shrugs. “There’s no set timeline for the process of moving on. And it ebbs and flows too. Also no fault in that.”
“You seem awfully knowledgeable about breakups,” Luke states. Amelie catches Ethan’s subtle but pointed glance. How much does she want to tell them about that part of her life? 
“A story for another time,” she says with a dry smile. Cooper Volt and his douchebag ways are not a conversation she wants to have before noon. Or really ever. “But I’m serious, Adam. And whoever else needs to hear it. Feelings can shift and feel and look different overtime, but losing them completely? I don’t know. It’s heartbreaking to hear from someone who used to be such a big part of your life.”
“Commitment is scary,” Cole pipes up. “And it’s hard. Especially, I feel like, with what we do.”
It’s like getting a bucket of ice cold water dumped on her when she suddenly remembers who exactly she’s surrounded by. 
“Do you even want commitment?” Amelie blinks. “Sorry, that’s harsh. That’s not fair of me to ask.”
“It’s a fair question though, I think.” Jack says. Amelie suddenly feels her hands clam up. “I mean, for me at least, I think it’s changed throughout the years. You know, at the start, like five years ago, when it was still chaotic and still an adjustment period, a relationship probably wasn’t on my mind.”
“But now?” Cole presses. 
Jack shrugs. “I think so. But you can’t force it, you know?”
“A relationship would do you well, Jacky.” Luke says, taking a sip of his water. “Don’t know who’d want to deal with you though.” Jack throws his half-filled water bottle at him and Luke squeaks as everyone laughs. Jack nudges Amelie’s knee with a light smile and she has absolutely no idea what to make of that. 
“I didn’t know you were dating someone, Adam,” Amelie comments.
Adam shrugs. “It was for most of last season. Met her through a mutual friend of a mutual friend. I thought it was going well. Clearly it didn’t work out.” 
“But you tried your best?”
“Of course I did. Well, what I thought was best at the time.”
“Then that’s all you can do,” Amelie curls up in her chair. “Sometimes our best isn’t enough. It sucks to hear, but it’s true. And that’s not on you.” She avidly avoids Jack’s eyes that she can feel boring into the side of her head. She should probably stop talking before she reveals more than she wants to. 
Luckily, the conversation steers elsewhere with courtesy to Jack. “Well, what do you look for in someone, Amelie?”
Amelie snorts. “You trying to matchmake for me, Hughes?”
“Maybe.”
Everyone laughs and she puts her chin on her hands in thought. “I mean, tough question.”
“One thing. That shouldn’t be hard.”
“It’s not. Just give me a minute to think. I wasn’t prepared to be talking about our love lives today.” Amelie bites her lip, staring out at the lake in thought. But in reality, it’s an easy answer. “I think, honestly, the biggest thing for me is someone who’s just, kind. Kind to the point where they care about the people around them and how they treat others and the world and….I don’t know. It sounds dumb.”
“It’s not,” Jack says. “Being kind and considerate is underrated, I think. It’s hard to find people like that.”
“Or maybe you’re not looking in the right place,” Alex adds.
“That too.”
Amelie summons some courage. “Well, I’ll flip the question back to you then. And anyone else who wants to answer. What’s one thing you look for in a partner?”
It’s like Jack makes sure she doesn’t break eye contact before answering. “Honestly? Someone I can have fun with and feel completely comfortable around. Which I know isn’t a real trait, but I think if I feel like I don’t have to pretend at all with somebody then they’re worth keeping in my life.”
“That’s quite sweet, Rowdy,” Quinn comments, Jack just shrugs, her eyes still on hers. 
Okay, yeah. Amelie needs space. Or water. Or three shots of vodka. 
The universe listens to her, because Ruth is suddenly calling them all in. Amelie bolts out of her seat and rushes in to help set up utensils. Thankfully, no one outwardly calls her out on it as they all trickle in after her. The conversation shifts to easier topics, and she relishes in being more of an observer than a contributor. 
Along with the delicious lasagna, Ruth somehow found time to make some brownies which Amelie is almost sure is not allowed in any of their diet plans. Nonetheless, she watches them devour the gooey treats and shower Ruth in praise. She herself has one before standing up to put dishes away. She and her grandmother stop any of them, either with their eyes or words, from getting up and they all reluctantly sink in their seats and continue their conversations. Ruth asked them about going to Michigan a few minutes ago and they’re still on that, with Cole and Alex talking up Wisconsin even though no one asked. 
Amelie’s putting the last dish in the dishwasher when someone’s voice in the kitchen causes her to yelp in surprise. She whips around to see Jack’s wince. “Jesus, Jack. Warn a girl next time.”
“Sorry,” he comes around the counter. “I just wanted to see if you needed any help, but it seems like you got it covered.”
“Grandma let you get away?”
“I might have told her I was gonna use the bathroom,” he admits. 
Amelie snorts, shutting the dishwasher. “Why lie?”
“I wanted to see you without everyone’s eyes on us.”
When someone just says that, so honestly, almost rushed out as if he wasn’t thinking of saying it in the first place but it just slipped out, how is she supposed to react, really?
She resorts to what she knows best. Apathy. “Well, here I am.”
“Here you are. Quinn told me you taught him how to make those cookies.”
“I did,” a smile peeks out at that. “He did pretty well. And we made a lot, so please take them with you when you guys leave.”
“Kicking us out so soon?”
“No,” she sighs. “But as much as she’s gonna pretend not to, Grandma doesn’t have as much energy anymore, so I will at some point in the near future gently kick all of you out so she can rest.”
“No worries,” Jack says. “We have plans to head out on the boat anyways. You wanna join?”
She actually does want to, but she already had her own plans to have a day for herself, and those days are important. “I think I’m good. I’ll leave you boys to it. But thank you for the offer.”
“Anytime.” They’re practically touching now, but Amelie doesn’t mind. She doesn’t ever feel like Jack is encroaching on her space. “Earlier, outside, when we were talking about relationships…”
“What about them?”
If he catches her clipped tone, he doesn’t take note. Instead, he tilts his head to the side in curiosity. “You mentioned wanting someone that’s kind.”
“I did.”
“A bit of a low bar, no?”
She scoffs, leaning her back against the kitchen counter. She crosses her arms and looks him straight in the eye. “Well, maybe I’ve just dated some shitty people.”
He holds the eye contact steady. She’s not sure why it surprises her. “Maybe you have.”
Despite herself, she’s amused. “You’re awfully nosy sometimes, you know that?”
“Not the first time I’ve heard it.”
“Does it usually work for you? Being nosy?”
“I call it just being interested.”
She swallows, deciding if she wants to push. She takes note of the voices in the other room. If she wants to push, she needs to do it fast. 
Amelie’s 99% sure this is where her and Jack are the most alike. They’re stubborn and can never back down from a challenge. 
She steps even closer to him where she thinks she catches a whiff of his deodorant. Jack’s eyes are still trained on her, passive, but with something in them that she can’t quite read. “I did, by the way.”
“Hm?”
“Date someone shitty.”
“I’m sorry about that.” He sounds sincere about it. 
“Not your fault.”
“Not yours either.”
She chuckles, “Debatable.”
“Nah,” a smile curls at his lips and she thinks it’s beautiful. “Don’t think you’ve done anything wrong in your life.”
“Does the charm usually work for you?”
He lets out a loud laugh. The sound of it spreads warmth on her skin. “You tell me.”
Oh. That’s a challenge if Amelie’s ever heard one. But even with his close proximity, this building tension of sorts that’s been present ever since they’ve met and his watchful but kind eyes, waiting for the next move, she’s still not sure. 
Fuck it. 
She kisses him anyway. 
Jack responds immediately, his hands finding a home on her hips in a way that has her smiling into his lips. She thinks he’s smiling too, but she pulls away too quickly to really know. He is grinning when she pulls away though, a sparkle in his eye she hasn’t seen quite yet.
He pouts playfully and she wants to kiss him again. But she restrains herself and glares at him instead. “What’s the pout for?”
“What’s the glare for?” He shoots back, squeezing her hips lightly. “You kissed me yet I feel like you’re about to accuse me of killing Suzie.”
“Suzie would probably kill you first,” she replies absentmindedly, before stepping away. Mostly so she doesn’t lose control again and kiss him. 
Amelie might be starting to question her decision, but Jack’s smile is easy. Light. “You gonna let me kiss you again?”
She snorts, but it’s more fond than anything. “Next time.”
He sticks his bottom lip out in displeasure, but he backs away. “I’m holding you to that.” 
She follows him back to the kitchen with a light pep in her step paired with an alarm bell in her mind.
day twenty - jack
Jack automatically smiles when Clementine Sandoval’s face appears on his phone screen. “Hey Clee.”
“Jacky!” She exclaims. “You look tan.”
He gasps in delight. “Really? Thank you.”
His pseudo-older sister rolls her eyes, “Nevermind. I take it back. How are you? What’s up? How’s Michigan? Where are Q and Lukey?”
He chuckles at her onslaught of questions, a pang of guilt in his heart because he hasn’t called her that much since he left New Jersey mid-June. To be fair, he didn’t want to interrupt her trip to visit her new boyfriend in Switzerland — Jack still has to remind himself sometimes that his captain is dating someone who he’s considered a sister ever since he can remember. He loves it, but the fact that Nico could basically become his brother-in-law is a fact he still hasn’t wrapped his head around.
But that pang of guilt washes away quickly, like it always does, as he looks at her warm smile. “I’m good. Michigan’s great. Quinn’s out getting groceries and Luke’s probably still napping. Are you busy?”
“Not at all. I’m just making dinner. I actually do miss you guys at the apartment a lot.”
Jack grins. “We miss you a lot too, Clee. Wish you were here.”
“So what’s up?”
“Hm?”
“You’re chewing on your drawstrings. You only do that when something’s on your mind.”
He lets the drawstrings fall from his mouth as he narrows his eyes. “How do you know that?”
She snorts, “Because I know you, Jack. What’s going on?”
The sound of her sink water running fills the air as Jack takes a deep breath. “I met a girl.”
He snickers as Clementine, with her back towards the camera, freezes. Slowly, she turns back around. “You met a girl?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay,” she starts chopping some garlic. “Tell me about her.”
“Her name’s Amelie. She’s a year younger than me. Just graduated from Michigan. She knows Luke, actually, used to photograph the hockey games.”
“She knows Luke?”
“Yeah. Her grandparents just bought a place two houses down from us and she was walking the dog one day and…yeah.”
Clementine hums, clearing the chopped garlic off her knife and into a small bowl. “What’s she like?”
“She’s a bit quieter, but quick and sarcastic as hell when you get to know her. She’s creative, because, you know, photographer. She’s really pretty. Hang on, I’ll send you a picture,” Jack does just that, sending one he took of her and Adam the other night, waiting for Clementine to look at it before he continues. “She’s always saying something really interesting and cool. I don’t know. We’ve been hanging out a lot the last two weeks and she’s just, really great.”
“You met two weeks ago?”
“More or less.” Jack bites his lip, trying to read the abnormally-unreadable look on her face. “What?”
“Nothing. She just graduated? Any plans after post-grad?”
“Said she’s talking to a few NHL teams for a photographer gig.”
Her eyebrows shoot up. “For real?”
“Yup.”
“Damn,” Clementine says. “That’s awesome. So what? You like her?”
“I think so?”
“It’s a yes or no question.”
“Fine. Yes. I do.”
She smirks. “That wasn’t so hard, was it now?” Jack glares at his phone as she giggles. “Okay. Does she like you back?”
“She kissed me the other day.”
“Oh,” Clementine’s eyes sparkle and Jack feels bashful for some reason. “Did she now? So she must.”
“Hopefully.”
She gives him a look. “Jack.”
“What?”
“You’re being annoying on purpose.”
“I’m not being annoying,” Jack responds instinctively. Okay, maybe he is. “I just, I don’t know. I haven’t felt like this in awhile. Maybe ever.”
“Felt like what, exactly?”
And this is why Jack called the older brunette. She pushes him in a way that isn’t overbearing, but just the right amount where she’s not gonna take getting brushed off. Sometimes, Jack thinks he gets away with brushing things off too easily. Blame it on growing up with two brothers. Luckily, Clementine doesn’t let that happen. 
“Felt this excited about someone.”
“That’s a good thing, Jack.” She says. 
“Yeah.” Suddenly, it’s like a dam breaks. He hasn’t really talked to anyone about how exactly he feels about Amelie yet. “She’s…..I think I really like her, Clee. Like, I just want to be around her all the time. When I’m around her, I just, I don’t know. I can’t stop smiling. 
“She must be some girl.”
“She is,” he responds confidently. 
“So now what? You two have kissed. What’s next? Labels or no?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know.”
“No. I don’t.” Silence. Clementine stops the movement on her end and looks at Jack. He swallows. It’s the kind of look that she only pulls out when she’s about to say something he might not want to hear. “What?” He says defensively. 
“Nothing. Well, that’s not true. It’s okay to not know. You guys literally just met. Really. Just…be careful. I’m sure she’s lovely, but I don’t..you seem to really like her. I’d hate to see you get hurt over this.”
“I won’t,” Jack says confidently. “Clee, you know me. I don’t get my heart broken.”
“You also don’t get like this about girls,” Clementine points out. “And you know how I know that? You’ve known Amelie for two weeks and you’re already telling me about her. It took you three months for you to even mention to me that you had a girlfriend last time. Just…be careful, okay? You’re only in Michigan for so much longer.”
“I will,” Jack says. 
Clementine only nods, before they switch the conversation back to her trip to Switzerland. But the rest of the conversation, Jack can’t help but keep seeing Clementine’s worried look in her mind. 
Clementine’s usually right. He hopes she’s wrong this time. 
day twenty three - amelie
Amelie takes a deep breath before accepting a good luck hug from her grandparents and shutting the front door. She smiles at the sight of Jack’s car and slides over into his passenger seat with practiced ease. 
“You really didn’t have to do this.”
“We’re literally going to the same place.”
“Still.”
Jack backs out of her driveway with an easy smile. “You nervous?”
Like, yeah. But she shrugs. “Even if I am, nothing I can do about it now.”
“You’ll get the job,” he says confidently. “I know it.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” she chuckles. “Where are Quinn and Luke? Don’t you all practice together?”
“Yeah. I forced them to take another car.”
“You didn’t have to kick them out.”
“I think I did.” She just gives him a look. Jack smiles easily. “Don’t worry about it. Remind me of the address again?”
She wordlessly connects her phone to his car and puts in the address of the cafe she’s meeting Heather at. 47 minute drive and she has to be there at 10 a.m. sharp. She’ll have around ten minutes to spare. 
It’s clear they both woke up not long ago, content to spend most of the drive in comfortable silence with her occasional humming to whatever song she has playing from her phone. It’s mostly softer tunes to accompany the earlier hour, Maggie Rogers, Lizzy McAlpine and Noah Kahan appearing the most frequently. She’s 99% sure this isn���t close to Jack’s style of music at all, but he doesn’t seem to mind. 
As he turns off the highway, she takes a deep breath, smoothing down her silk navy short-sleeved blouse she’s deemed her good-luck shirt — she wore it during her first interview with the NHL months ago. Luckily, it’s different people this time. 
“I’m serious,” Jack says. “You’re gonna be great and you’re gonna get that job and get the fuck out of Michigan.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I am.” They pull up to the cafe and she turns to face him with a grateful smile. “Thank you for driving me.”
“I’ll come by as soon as practice is done.”
She waves him off. “Take your time.”
He leans in to kiss her cheek sweetly. “Good luck. You’re gonna kill it.”
Her stomach is flipping now for a whole different reason. She quickly opens the passenger door and looks at Jack’s sweet smile one more time before shutting it. 
The interview goes…so well. So well that she has a job by the end of it, with a promised contract being sent to her email within the next hour. But she barely has to answer any questions before they’re asking her if she’ll take it. It catches Amelie by complete shock and happiness that it takes so much for her to keep her cool in front of Josh, her possible future manager, and Sasha, the recruiter she’s been in touch with this whole time. 
All of her hard work has accounted for something? She wants to pinch herself as she shakes both of their hands and watches them walk out. 
But something settles in her stomach when she looks down at the notes she took. In her cursive-like handwriting. 
Main coverage teams: Rangers, Islanders, Flyers, Devils 
Staring at the last word on the page, she swallows. The Devils. She’s gonna be photographing Jack. 
Realistically, she knew that this always would’ve been a possibility. But she never let herself entertain the idea. 
But now it’s real. And it’s terrifying. And she kissed Jack eight days ago. She wants to throw up.
With shaky hands, she texts Jack that she’s done. He doesn’t respond right away so she takes a deep breath, tapping her fingers against her coffee cup, her brain going a million miles an hour. 
She’s responding to her family’s texts before Jack’s name flashes through with the alert of a call. “Hello?”
“Well?” Jack’s voice echoes through her ears. “Did you get it?”
“Come pick me up and find out,” she tries to tease. She hopes he can’t detect her shaky voice over the phone.
“Amelie,” he whines. “Come on. You can’t leave me hanging like that.”
She lets out a quiet chuckle. “Do you think I’d be this happy if I didn’t get it?”
A pause. And then, “Let’s fucking go, baby! I knew you had it in the bag.”
“Come pick me up so I can tell you more about it,” she mutters 
“You got it.” 
11 minutes later, she sees Jack park by the curb and she walks out of the cafe, willing her hands to stop sweating. He quickly comes around the car and gives her a giant hug. She laughs as he lifts her up. 
“So,” he sings as he starts the engine. “Do you know with what team? Or teams?”
Amelie hopes her poker face is intact. “Actually, not yet. That’s the only thing they haven’t fully settled on yet. And I might not know until, like, a month before I start.”
He tuts. “That’s a bit annoying. They just expect you to move to wherever on such short notice?”
She swallows roughly, hoping he doesn’t notice. “I guess. They said they can help me find housing though, which is helpful.”
He hums, before shaking her thigh with a laugh. “Amelie. This is amazing. You should be so proud of yourself.”
“Thanks, Jack.” Instead of turning onto the highway, Jack takes a right. “Where are we going?”
“Do you have anywhere else to be today?”
“Not until like, 4.”
“Perfect.”
She has to laugh out loud when the USA Hockey arena comes into view. “You forget something?”
“No,” he says simply. “Have you ever skated before?”
“I photographed your younger brother at Michigan.”
“But that doesn’t mean you’ve skated.” 
Fair. “I have. I’m not very good though.”
He kills the engine and flashes her a charming smile. “Come on. To celebrate.”
Amelie lets Jack charm the person working the rentals and watches him tie the skates on her feet, smiling softly as he does it carefully, making sure they’re tight enough. She takes his hand as she steps onto the ice, wobbling a bit but quickly gaining her balance. There’s no one else at this particular rink, which she’s thankful for. People would have questions, and she doesn’t have any of the answers. 
She lets herself laugh and have fun as Jack spins them around. She takes a deep breath, letting the smells and sounds of an empty hockey arena fill her senses again. 
This is gonna be her future for the next while. If she thinks too hard, she can picture herself in Newark, in the Prudential Center, with Jack across from her, just like this. She swallows at the sight of Jack’s bright eyes. 
Main coverage teams: Rangers, Islanders, Flyers, Devils 
“You’re amazing,” Jack says a bit later, as they’re gliding in the middle of the ice, her hands in his, facing each other. “I’m serious. You’re going to crush it.”
She tries not to tear up, looking down at their skates. “I’m really excited,” she says. “This is, kind of, everything I’ve been working towards.”
“I know,” Jack smiles, tugging at her hands lightly. “You nervous at all?”
“A bit. Is that weird?”
He snorts. “No. I was scared shitless my rookie year, despite trying to act like hot shit.”
“I don’t doubt that.”
“But you’re not me, because you’re healthily humble and you have the talent to back up your skill. It’s okay to be nervous, but it’s all gonna work out just fine.”
She hums, hands boldly reaching out to cup his face. She only has so much time left. She swears he softens into her touch. “Quite good at the pep talks, huh?”
“Not usually,” he murmurs, leaning closer as his lips ghost hers. “But, I don’t know. You seem to bring out a different side of me.”
“That’s sappy as shit.”
“I can be sappy.”
“Sure you can.” She hums as he presses a delicate kiss on her lips. She chuckles airily as he pulls away only to start peppering kisses on her cheeks. 
For a bit, Amelie squashes her overthinking and just breathes in everything Jack Hughes. 
(Unbeknownst to both Amelie and Jack, Jim sees them from the offices upstairs. He smiles to himself, as he watches his son spin the brunette girl around the ice, the joy palpable on both their faces)
day twenty five - jack
He doesn’t even bother to come up with an excuse anymore when he shows up on Stanley and Ruth’s front door the next morning. He accepts a cup of coffee when Ruth tells him Amelie’s in the shower, chatting casually with them both about the weather, golf, his family and the upcoming season. 
When Amelie comes down the stairs, she doesn’t even look surprised, simply waving before tossing her hair up and grabbing her bag. She mentioned over text that she just had to run some “boring” errands today. He jumped at the chance to join her. 
With some argument, she relents and lets him drive. He has to stop himself from looking over at her, overwhelmed at…her. Just her. 
The grocery store first to get groceries for Stanley and Ruth, which causes Jack to swallow because God, the way Amelie takes care of the people in her life reminds him of Clementine, who always saw the best in Jack before he was anything. 
Then a stop by at a farm to table place for lunch where Amelie says she’s been dying to try. Then Target, then CVS, then the bank. They never really hold hands, but they’re always in each other’s orbit comfortably. That’s enough for him.
Before being done for the day, a quick detour to a small beach that Amelie claims has “incredible sunsets.” He follows her obediently as she jumps out of the car with her film camera. The sunset is beautiful, but, and it’s so cliche and gross and he would get chirped to hell if his friends could read his mind, Amelie’s prettier. 
He can’t help but take out his phone to take a picture of her back against the cotton candy sky. He always posts some sort of a summer dump on his Instagram. Maybe this picture will go in there. 
day thirty two - amelie
“Who’s gonna be there again?” 
“Honestly, who knows at this point?” Jack’s voice floods her ears through her airpods as she takes Susie on a walk and Jack’s driving back from who knows where. 
“And this is tonight?”
“Yup. Because it’s someone’s birthday? Ethan’s, maybe?”
“Not Eddy,” she responds automatically. “His birthday’s in June.”
“I forget how close you two are.”
“To be fair, the only reason I remember is because he’s like, five days older than I am,” Amelie shushes Susie, who’s barking at a squirrel. “And you’re all gathering at some sort of sports bar at fucking Ann Arbor of all places to… celebrate? Reminisce?”
She can practically hear Jack’s pout. “You don’t have to come if you don’t want to.”
“That’s not what I’m saying,” she chides gently. “I, just, I’m just confused about-”
“Confused about what?”
“About why you’d want me there.”
“Why wouldn’t I want you there?” Jack says softly. 
She swallows, playing with Susie’s leash. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah.”
“Awesome,” she knows Jack’s smiling through the phone and she can’t help but smile as well, even though she feels a pit forming in her stomach. “I’m DDing because I lost a bet against Luke on the course yesterday, so you can go as hard as you’d like.” A rustle on his end of the phone. “I gotta go, but I’ll see you later?”
“What time are you coming?”
“Around 7:30?”
“Perfect.”
“See you soon.”
Amelie hears him pull up at 7:23 as she’s scrolling on her phone. A deep breath before opening the door and she doesn’t expect Jack to be walking up her steps. 
“Oh,” she blinks. “Hi.”
Jack smiles up at her. “Hey.”
She looks beyond his shoulder and sees some movement in the backseat of the running car. “You didn’t have to step out.”
“Feels impolite just honking.” She lets him wrap her in a quick hug before she slips into the passenger seat. She turns around immediately to smile at Ethan, Luke and Dylan. “Hi boys. You sure none of you wanna take the front seat?”
“We are under strict orders from Jack that as long as you’re in the car, we will be banished to the back,” Luke snickers. 
Jack blindly reaches back to smack his brother’s leg. “I’m already driving you losers. Don’t make me regret it.”
Luke gasps. “I’m not the one who lost the bet.” Another slap to the leg from Jack and another yelp from Luke. 
Once they reach the bar and Jack somehow finds street parking, the boys pile out quickly and head to the bar. Her and Jack stray behind, and he locks the car before swinging an arm around her shoulder, sneaking a kiss to her temple. 
She shouldn’t, but she leans into it. Leans into him. The bustling bar is coming into view and she’s getting nervous. 
He pokes at her side. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
He offers her a skeptical look but lets it go. “You’ll know most of the people there. No need to be nervous.”
“I’m not nervous,” she lies. 
He snorts, but doesn’t respond. He does pull her closer to his side though. 
Immediately when they walk in and Amelie realizes she has been here before. Not many times, maybe only three or four, but enough for the environment itself to not be unfamiliar. She surveys the scene while letting Jack steer them both towards a corner where both people she knows and doesn’t know are gathering. The first person she makes eye contact with happens to be Carina Scholl, a girl she went to high school with. Because of course. This state is so damn small. Before she can spiral over it, Amelie’s quickly distracted by the sound of Mark Estapa’s voice.
And then it’s like a floodgate opens. Members of the Michigan Men’s hockey team, present and past, greet her, standing in a sort of messy line, almost like they’re queuing to hug her. It starts with Mark, then Rutger and Kienan and Luca. Then Mackie and Nolan, who she hasn’t seen in far too long and didn’t realize she missed until now. 
She feels quite touched that they all seem so excited to see her, wrinkling her nose when Rutger pulls her ponytail lightly.  When everyone calms down, Jack slides her favorite cider towards her. She smiles at him in thanks and he just winks before being pulled into a conversation about hockey that honestly has Amelie immediately tuning them out. 
She ventures to familiar territory — a booth housing Ethan and Luke — and they happily let her slide between them, introducing her to the faces she doesn’t recognize as she politely nods. She does brighten up when one of the girls, Sarah, she notes, says she recognizes her from her photography. (“I was on the gymnastics team. My family might have one of your photos framed in the house.”). 
Photography and Michigan. Those are topics Amelie can talk about. 
After a bit, the boys slide out and she finds herself gravitating towards Sarah and two of her friends Amelie doesn’t know, content with sitting back and listening into their conversation, with some comments here and there. She spots two more girls she went to high school with — Shannon and Abby — and swallows roughly. She’s pulled back in the conversation with a call of her name from Madison. 
“I saw that you came in with Jack Hughes,” Madison says. Immediately, Amelie wants this conversation to end. But Madison’s smile is curious, not malicious. “Are you two…you know?”
Amelie blinks, stomach suddenly dropping. “Are we…”
“Together,” Sarah finishes with a teasing eye roll. “I don’t know why you didn’t just say it, Maddy.”
“I didn’t want to be impolite!” Madison exclaims as Ellie, the third girl, laughs. “I mean, we just met. It’s none of my business, really.”
“We’re not,” Amelie says, softly but firmly, even though she wants to crawl under the table right now. “Friends through Luke, I guess. Found out my grandparents live by him and Quinn’s place just a few weeks ago.”
“You hadn’t met beforehand?”
“Nope.”
“Huh,” Ellie says. Amelie follows Ellie’s eyeline to where Jack is talking to Adam. With a High Noon in one hand, the other shoved into the pocket of his jeans and that stupid backwards cap on his head, Amelie can’t look away. “I wouldn’t have predicted that. It seems like you’ve known each other forever.”
Amelie laughs shakily. “He’s like that with everyone.”
The girls let it go, but Amelie can’t. Is it that obvious to people? Should it be? Is he like this with everyone? It wouldn’t surprise her if he was. Just because they’ve kissed, doesn’t mean she’s anything special. 
After a bit, she excuses herself to go grab another drink. If Jack is also at the bar as she approaches, that’s just a coincidence. 
It’s interesting. She simultaneously wants to be away from him, especially because it seems like “Main coverage teams: Rangers, Islanders, Flyers, Devils” is flashing through her mind at all times. But she also wants to be around him because he makes her feel at ease
She nods at Luca, who Jack was talking to, with a wry smile. “Luca.”
“Amelie,” he sings in the same tone. Amelie considers herself closer to the younger Fantilli, but Luca’s constant positive energy was always a welcome sight when she entered Yost. “You look beautiful.”
“That’s kind of you to say.”
“I feel like you’re about to yell at me for not answering the question again.”
“That was one time,” she says dryly. “Let it go.”
Jack looks between the two of them with interest. “Amelie being a strict TA? That doesn’t surprise me.”
“She wasn’t strict, perse,” Luca teases. “Just didn’t want to deal with our shit.”
“Because I dealt with it enough at the rink,” Amelie says. She brightens up momentarily when Jack shoves another cider in her hand. Without thinking, she presses a quick kiss on his cheek as a thank you. Luca, to his credit, just raises his eyebrows before Gavin beckons him elsewhere. 
She pokes at Jack’s chest. “You trying to loosen me up? You didn’t have to buy me another.”
“I told you to go crazy, didn’t I?”
“I think I’ve spotted three people here who went to my high school.”
Jack just raises an eyebrow casually. “No shit. Did you say hi?”
Amelie snorts. “No.”
“Why not?”
She gives him a look and realizes he doesn’t understand. She doesn’t want to get into it. “I just don’t feel like it.”
“You sure?” He nods at something behind her and she turns around, making eye contact with Carina. 
She turns back around to face Jack again. “I’m sure.”
(She’s not. She’s not sure about anything all of a sudden. It’s starting to feel like too much for her. But that’s not Jack’s problem to deal with)
“Okay,” he stops pushing. “Who should we tackle talking to next?”
“Didn’t know this was a team effort,” she teases lightly, the weight on her shoulders deflating by the second. 
He readjusts his hair under his hat with a roguish grin. “Hey. I dragged you here. And these are mostly Luke’s friends. Of course we’re in this together.”
She rolls her eyes. Because he’s a liar. But she humors him, nodding over to a group consisting of Rutger, his girlfriend Kayleigh, Nolan, Mackie and Mark. “They seem safe.” Jack snorts, but obliges, letting her lead the way. 
More time passes, and Amelie’s buzzed. Jack mutters in her ear that they’re probably gonna head out within the next 20 minutes or so, which she could’ve predicted, as their crowd is getting smaller and smaller. Adam already smacked a kiss on her cheek as a farewell. She figures she should probably go pee before the drive back. 
After a quick trip to the bathroom, she walks out and pauses suddenly in her tracks. She watches a girl blatantly flirt with Jack, which is fine, it is. The frog she has in her throat isn’t anything. The prickling she feels in her spine is because of the heat, not because of the girl’s hand placed on his bicep. She can’t even let herself feel any sort of satisfaction when Jack casually shifts himself a bit away from her politely. 
It suddenly all hits her in the face. It’s like the bubble she’s been living in for the last however many days has immediately popped. 
Of course he’s being flirted with. This probably happens everytime he goes out. How could she be so stupid?
Jack’s never going to be anything more than a friend. He’s based out of New Jersey for most of the year — which, to be fair, Amelie might also be in a few months, which he still doesn’t know — and Amelie’s 99% sure it just wouldn’t work. They’re too…he’s him and she’s who she is and this isn’t how it all works. 
Sure, she kissed him first. But she didn’t mean for it to go this far. And sure, he kissed her back. But he’s one of the biggest up and coming superstars in the league that she’s about to work for. To some degree, she knows how this is gonna end. She’s lived through it. 
(Sometimes, she’s relieved that MLB never got back to her. The idea of having to photograph Cooper almost makes bile creep up her throat._
She has to stop this before it crashes at their feet.
Amelie takes a deep breath and straightens her shoulders, before making her way back to Jack. He looks towards her and brightens up, excusing himself from the girl before jumping off his stool with her jacket she asked him to hold while she went to the bathroom. 
“Ready to go?” He mutters. 
Amelie nods stiffly. “Where are the others?”
“I told them to wait by the car. Do you need to say goodbye to anybody else?” 
She looks around. “No. I did my rounds before I went to the bathroom.” He hums and she follows him out of the bar. ignoring his outstretched hand. 
(She misses the flash of hurt that passes by Jack’s eyes. But it’s gone as quickly as it came) 
“Thanks again for coming with me,” Jack says, his voice suddenly sounding so loud contrasting with the quiet Ann Arbor air. “Really. I know it’s not your scene but I appreciate it anyways.”
“You’re welcome,” she says, hoping he doesn’t pick up on her sudden change of mood. 
He does, furrowing his eyebrows. “Is everything alright?”
“Fine. Everything is fine.”
“You’re lying to me.”
She doesn’t quite snap back, but it’s close enough to it. “How would you know that?” 
He blanches slightly, but they’re at the car. So he just wordlessly opens the door for her. She smiles softly at Ethan, who ruffles her hair from the back and snorts at Dylan and Luke, who are sleeping with their mouths wide open. 
The drive goes by extremely quickly yet painfully slow at the same time. Amelie actively avoids eye contact with Jack, busying staring out her window and making mindless conversation with Ethan. If he feels the tension. he ignores it. 
Jack pulls up to his place first, rolling his eyes as Luke, Dylan and Ethan clamber into the house. As soon as the door shuts, Jack turns to her. She reluctantly turns to him.
“Are you okay?” His eyes hold so much concern. It makes Amelie bite her lip. “And please be honest with me.”
“I’m fine, Jack,” she croaks out. She’s a bit tipsy. She’s very tired. Her resolve is crumbling fast. She feels like she’s running out of time. “I think I’m just overstimulated.”
“I’ll drive you home,” he says softly. He places a gentle kiss on her forehead and it takes everything in Amelie not to let her eyes tear up. 
He’s barely backed out of his driveway when she can’t take it anymore. “Rangers, Islanders, Flyers, Devils.”
Silence. “What?” He says.
“Rangers, Islanders, Flyers, Devils,” she repeats, trying to keep her voice steady. “Those are the teams I’m covering.”
He parks in her grandparents’ driveway, killing the engine. “Did you just find this out today?”
She squeezes her eyes shut. “No. I’ve known since I got the official offer.”
The silence washes over her like the most destructive tidal wave. “You lied to me?” He whispers. 
“I’m so-”
“Why did you lie to me?” He asks in a hurt voice. 
“Jack-”
“Were you ever gonna tell me?” She snaps her mouth shut. That gives him his answer. He swallows roughly, running a hand through his hair. “So what? You were gonna just walk in during media day and pretend we haven’t met before?”
“That’s not fair,” she manages to get out. 
“Pretend we haven’t kissed before?” Jack presses on.
That makes the fire in Amelie’s stomach flame. “We’ve known each other for like, a month, Jack. I don’t owe you anything.”
He scoffs. “You don’t think so?” She flinches at his harsh tone and he softens a bit with a sigh. “I just don’t understand why you didn’t tell me.”
There’s plenty of reasons why. Many of which Amelie doesn’t want to say out loud. She settles for: “I mean, would it have mattered?” Her voice cracks. “You were always going to go back to Jersey and I was always gonna leave Michigan and whatever this was would’ve only lasted for so long.”
“Whatever this is?” Jack repeats, tilting his head back against the headrest in frustration. “So what? You thought that we’d go back to our regular lives and all of this would just…be forgotten?”
“I don’t know,” she says, frustrated. 
“But you clearly thought about it.”
“Of course I did,” she squeezes her eyes shut. “Jack, you’re…you’re Jack Hughes. I don’t necessarily care about it like that but I know you have a franchise on your shoulders and you’re the best of the best and we met under weird coincidences and I’m glad we have, believe me, but this always had a timer on it.”
“What exactly is ‘this?’” The roughness in his voice has Amelie simultaneously feeling like she wants to cry and scream. Jack laughs humorlessly. “And it’s funny you bring up all that shit now, considering you never for once cared about who I was and all of that since the day we met.”
“I don’t care,” Amelie insists. “In fact, it’s probably the thing about you I care the least about, in the nicest way possible. But whether we both like it or not, it’s a huge part of who you are. And I don’t know if I…”
“If you?”
“If I have a place in your life when it comes to that.”
“Because of what I do? Because of my job?”
Amelie scoffs. “Stop trying to underplay what you do and the impact you have on the league, Jack. I may have just met you a month ago but I, in some way, work in the same fucking industry you do. I’m not stupid.”
“I know you’re not stupid,” he rolls his eyes. “You’re probably one of the smartest people I’ve met in my life. I’m not trying to underplay anything. At the end of the day, hockey is just my job. LIke photography is yours. I don’t see how that has anything to do with us.”
“Well, maybe that’s exactly the problem.”
Jack huffs. “It’s my life. Shouldn’t I have a say in if I want you in it or not?”
And sure, Amelie thinks, Jack has a point, but so does she, even if she’s not explaining it well. She turns in her seat to fully face him and tries a different angle. Tries to get him to understand. “Have you thought about this at all? Like, sat down and really thought about what’s gonna happen when we both leave Michigan? Jack, you know I don’t want to come back unless I have to.”
“What does that have to do with us at all?”
“Jack,” she deadpans. “You love this place. You feel the most comfortable here, you told me that yourself. All I want to do is get out here and all you want to do is stay.” She deflates. “You really didn’t think about the future of any of this?”
“Yes! No. Maybe?” Jack raises his voice in frustration. “I just-I enjoyed, enjoy, spending time together. You kind of make me forget how to think when I’m around you in the best way possible. And I want to be around you all the time. Isn’t that enough?”
“I still don’t even know what we are! Friends? Friends who kiss sometimes? Dating? Hooking up because it’s convenient?”
He blanches. It’s the most hurt he’s looked this whole conversation. “Amelie-” he whispers.
“I know I’m being unfair, but please try to understand my reasoning,” she wipes her tears with the sleeve of her top. “I was already up for this job before I met you. And then I met you. And then I thought, oh, maybe I do care about where I end up. Wouldn’t that be nice and convenient? But we’ve known each other for a month. And I’m not gonna let someone I’ve only known for so long dictate the start of this really important moment for me.”
“I wouldn’t have ever asked you to do that,” Jack says meekly. “I know how important your career is to you.”
“And I believe that,” Amelie softens with a swallow. They’re not getting anywhere productive. “I-I’m sorry, Jack. I shouldn’t have lied to you.”
“But you did,” he says. He runs his hand roughly through his hair again. The curls are beginning to become very unruly.  “Was this whole month just, I don’t know, were we not on the same page?”
“Maybe we weren’t,” she bites her quivering lip. “I like you, Jack. I do. But I can’t…I can’t do this. Us. Whatever this is.”
Silence, before his voice cracks. “Now or ever?” 
“I don’t know,” she sniffles. “I’m sorry.” She cries, rubbing her eyes roughly with the palms of her hand. She knows this is all her fault. She knows this isn’t the only thing he kept from him. She knows that she’s been cautious telling him important things about herself this whole time, where he’s been nothing but fearless and honest. She knows she fucked up. 
But she can’t say any of that out loud. He wouldn’t get it. And maybe she doesn’t really want him to. Isn’t ready for him to
She feels his hand on her cheek, which causes her to cry harder, her tears falling cascading onto his fingers. Through blurry vision, she can see him swallowing roughly. “Can I say one last thing?”
She can’t help but let out a weak laugh. “Sure.”
“A few weeks ago, you asked me if the top was a lonely place to be. And you know, it can be a lot,” he admits. Her heart aches at how vulnerable he’s being. “My brothers and teammates and friends understand mostly, but it’s not the same. Y-you’re the first person in a long time who's made me feel like it doesn’t have to be lonely.”
That causes Amelie to cry even harder. Every part of her is fighting her to fight for him. To keep groveling, even though it doesn’t even seem like he wants that, which is somehow even more heartbreaking. To fill in the gaps for him about why she can’t fully let go and let him in. But she can’t. “I-I’m sorry I lied to you. And I’m sorry it had to be this way,” she croaks out.
“Me too,” he says, backing away slightly. She misses his touch instantly. “I-I’ll give you some space and n-not contact you for awhile. Um, you have my number. When…if you ever wanna reach me, you know how to.”
Her heart splices in half completely. She’s the one who lied to him and he’s the one offering space. Amelie knows she’s selfish for asking her final question, but she does it anyways. “And you’d pick up?”
Jack laughs with a watery smile, “Every time.”
It takes all her willpower to not kiss him one last time. She unbuckles her seatbelt and rushes into her grandparents house. She closes the front door and leans her back on it, sliding down and muffles her cries into her hand. 
day thirty three - jack 
Everything hurts. 
That’s the first thing Jack thinks when his eyes blearily open with the sun. His eyes hurt from crying too many freaking times the last few days. His ribs hurt from where Luke checked him into the boards yesterday. It wasn’t even a particularly hard hit, but Jack’s head was anywhere but the ice and he didn’t see it coming until it was too late. 
And his heart just…hurts. 
Luckily, they have the day off today so he can sulk without feeling too guilty. Maybe he’ll take the boat out into the water by himself and just lay there. He hears some voices downstairs and squeezes his eyes shut to try and decipher them. Quinn, Luke, Dylan and Ethan. The latter two obviously don’t know him as well, but Jack knows them well enough that they’d probably actually be really nice about Jack’s situation. Especially because Ethan’s close to…yeah.
Jack launches himself out of bed, quickly brushes his teeth and splashes some water in his face before stumbling downstairs, his pace faster once he smells a fresh pot of coffee. 
“Mornin’” Jack croaks out, nodding at Dylan and Ethan who are sitting around the island with Quinn, who just slaps his shoulder in greeting. Luke wordlessly pours out a mug for him and Jack smiles at him gratefully. 
“You look like shit,” Luke says bluntly. Jack would face wash him for that if he had the energy. And if he was wrong. 
“Luke.” Quinn chastises. 
Jack waves his older brother off. “It’s fine. He’s right.” His eye catches the sight of an envelope at the end of the table. “What’s that?”
It’s silent for a few seconds too long until Ethan clears his throat. “Uh, Amelie said she developed the shots for her film camera. Dropped some by that she said you guys might want.” 
Jack swallows with a curt nod, chugging the whole cup of coffee in one go. He nods at Luke to pour him more. 
“Do you want to talk about it?” Quinn asks tentatively. 
Immediately, Jack wants to shoot that down. But then he looks up, and he sees all four of them looking at him with varying degrees of worry in their eyes. Jack shoves down the instinct to avoid — like he’s been doing the last few days. “I don’t even know where to start.” He whispers.
“Anywhere that makes sense to you.” Quinn suggests, because Quinn’s always been the one who directs. Who guides. 
So Jack lets it all out. He talks about how he purposefully didn’t want to cling to her all night because he didn’t want to come off that way but how he couldn’t take his eyes off her no matter where she was in the room. He talks about how beautiful she looked (“I mean, you guys aren’t stupid. That top with her eyes? Lethal combo.”) and how he had a moment where he felt like all was right in the world. He talks about that subtle shift in her mood after he lost her for a bit and how quiet she was in the car ride home. 
That’s the easy part. 
Jack inhales a muffin from a box that someone must’ve gotten this morning from the local bakery before continuing to recall him and Amelie’s conversation in the car after he dropped off everyone. When he drops the revelation that Amelie’s actually going to be around the Tri-State area covering the Rangers, Islanders, Flyers and the fucking Devils, all four of them look shocked, but don’t say anything. He talks about how his initial reaction was that he was hurt that she hadn’t told him because he thought that they had something going on between them. He talks about how he felt like the conversation escalated so quickly but also calmly because Amelie doesn’t raise her voice and Jack is not a yeller and how it almost would’ve been easier had they been screaming at each other. He talks about how he can’t really remember when Amelie started crying but how he can remember how he felt his stomach dropping to his feet when she did. He can barely remember how they fucking got there in the first place. 
Jack sniffles, hastily wiping his tears away before they can fully fall. “All I know is that I fucking made her cry and whatever we had is probably ruined, which is extremely fucking convenient considering I’m gonna be seeing her around during the season.”
“It’s not ruined,” Ethan speaks up after a few seconds of silence. 
Jack snorts. “No offense, man, But how would you know that for sure?”
“I know you two have gotten close in the last month or so, but besides that, I would argue that out of everyone here, I’m the closest with her.” And Jack swallows, because shit, Ethan has a point. Ethan continues. “Despite her lying to you and everything falling to pieces, it’s not ruined. Amelie isn’t like that. You have to really fuck up for her to cut you out.”
And like, yeah, Jack knows that, to a degree. But, “I don’t think she’s ever gonna wanna see me again.”
“Well, did you say anything that was particularly horrible?” Luke asks. 
Jack swallows. “No? Maybe I was snappy at some points, but I don’t think so”
“I mean, it’s fair,” Quinn says. “Even though it’s harsh, you were right to be mad about her lying to you.”
“Did I give off that impression that she couldn’t talk to me? Like yeah, we practically just met, but I feel like, I don’t know. I just don’t really get why she’d hide that from me.”
“I might have an idea,” the guys turn to Ethan as he swallows and debates something in his own head. “Uh, this is random, but hear me out. Did she ever tell you about her ex?”
“Which one?” Jack asks.
“Cooper Volt. Baseball player at Michigan. Drafted to the Mets, I think.”
“A bit but not much. Why?”
“Look, I’m not trying to, like, spill her secrets or anything. I think it just might put things in context.” Jack nods and Ethan sighs. “So basically, she was dating him, right? Pretty serious. Lasted for a little over a year. Anyways. I don’t know the details, but I know that the break-up wasn’t pretty. Or, I just assume it wasn’t, because I only found out they broke up after I saw Cooper with another girl on his arm and was confused and literally asked Amelie about it. Apparently, it had only been two weeks since they broke up and he had already gone out and found someone else?”
“What an asshole,” Dylan says, his first verbal participation in the conversation. He’s been munching on cheerios, intensely listening. Quinn’s eyebrows are furrowed in a way that only appears when he’s concerned or really pissed off and Jack’s kinda fuming that someone put her through that.
“Right? Yeah, so that’s that. And typical Amelie, you know, said she was fine and I knew that she had her own friends checking up on her.” Jack’s nodding, following on to his every word, even if a bit confused on where Ethan is going with this. “Okay. So, this is, our sophomore year, so her junior year. The seniors are hosting a party and we convince her to come for once. You know how those parties go. They get big. People are filtering in and out. I just remember coming to the kitchen to refill my drink and seeing Amelie looking so fucking dejected as Cooper and his new girl are talking to her.”
“Did you hear what they said?” Luke asks. 
“No, but I didn’t need to, not with that look in her eye,” Ethan scoffed. “I caught the tail-end of their conversation though, which, like, I don’t even wanna repeat, but it was basically Cooper just saying shit about how he never liked her anyways and he took a shot at her being bi? I don’t think I remember it quite accurately to be honest because the second I heard him say that shit I just saw red.”
“He threw the fact that she’s bi to her face?” Jack asks sharply. He’s trying his best not to throw his cup at the wall.
“Something like it,” Ethan says. “Yeah, I know. Absolute piece of shit. I kicked him and their friends out of the party, because, like, there was no fucking way they were staying.”
“How did I not know about this?” Luke asks. “I’m pretty sure I was at that party.”
“You were. If they had refused to leave or whatever or put up more of a fight, I would’ve gotten backup. But they didn’t. And you know Amelie. She begged me not to make a big deal out of it. So I just kept an eye on her for the rest of the night.” 
“That’s so shitty,” Quinn says softly. “Putting that against her. With his new girlfriend there too.”
“Yeah, but…anyways. The point is, a week or so after that I kinda caught her after a game or something and I drove her back to her place and she kinda exploded. Went on a whole rant about athletes and sports culture from what she’s observed and all that, which I’m not saying isn’t true, but basically, I think the situation with Cooper was kind of the nail on the coffin.”
“That what?” Luke asks. “All athletes suck?”
Ethan clears his throat. “I think getting fucked over by Cooper, and then meeting Jack and realizing she has feelings for him then thinking back to the last time this happened and how it ended…can you blame her for being a bit scared?”
“She should’ve told me she was covering the Devils when she found out where she was gonna be placed.” Jack says firmly, and he stands by it. 
“Probably,” Quinn agrees. “But Jacky, think about it. Even just some of the guys we’ve played with. Not saying they’re all assholes like this guy…it’s just, even if it’s unfair she might place you in the same category, that might be how she feels.” 
“She should’ve told me,” Jack repeats. He squeezes his eyes in frustration. 
“But did you tell her you were serious about her?” Luke says. Immediately, Jack wants to snap back at his younger brother, because he’s a pest and who is he to doubt Jack about his own fucking relationship, or lack thereof. But then, Jack realizes and a whole new pit appears in his stomach. 
“She kept interrupting me,” he whispers. As he puts his head in his hands, he misses the sympathetic looks the other guys exchange. “Fuck. I never-I should’ve been clearer.”
“Jack-”
“I should’ve made that clear from the start,,” Jack says as Luke immediately shuts his mouth. “She had to have known. She had to.” Jack swallows roughly. He’s not the smartest, but he knows now. She didn’t know. And he never clarified what she meant to him. 
“I’m sorry, Jack,” Ethan says softly. Jack just waves his apology away. This is all on him. He excuses himself, putting his dish and mug in the sink. 
“We’re heading out on the water later. You should come,” Quinn gently urges. Jack just nods, before clamoring up the stairs to take a shower or do something, anything to get rid of the feeling in his stomach. 
The feeling that he’s fucked it all up. 
day fifty six - amelie 
Amelie’s at the Prudential Center by 6:30 a.m. The players start rolling in just after 8, while she’s finishing up helping to set up equipment and lighting. She has two cameras on either shoulder and one hanging by her neck and she has a headband in her hair and she feels happy. She feels at home. 
She gets introduced to the guys that she’s been researching for a month now. All of them are pleasant and patient. She does let out a genuine smile when Luke reaches out for a hug in greeting. What happened between her and Jack has nothing to do with him, and she hopes he knows that as she gives him an extra squeeze before pulling away.
When she introduces herself to the captain, she swears there’s a spark of recognition that flashes through Nico’s eyes, but it leaves just as quick as it came. Within their first few minutes of conversation, she concludes that Nico is almost unfairly kind. No wonder Jack loves him. 
It’s 10:19 a.m., and she still hasn’t seen Jack yet. She knows he’s scheduled in for his on-ice media shots sometime in the late morning. She purposefully didn’t grab herself a second cup of coffee after finishing her first one. She can’t be shaking when she’s trying to get pictures of him. 
Jack comes in and shakes everyone’s hand. He just waves at her with a polite smile and she waves back, her stomach dropping. They can play it off as Amelie being across the ice and too far, but in reality, she’s not sure if she would try to fake a handshake and pretend they’ve never met, hug him and never let go, or do something incredibly fucking stupid like kiss him. 
He looks so handsome. He must’ve cut his hair recently, in a shorter style that makes him so carefree and young. 
His stuff takes around 20 minutes, and she doesn’t really have to talk to him, instead just taking direction from Mira, head photographer / videographer.
He’s not directly interacting with her, but she feels her stomach swirling and her palms sweat, causing the camera to almost slip out of her grasp multiple times. She wants to smile at the comfort he brings her just from being near him and wants to cry at how they left things in her grandparents’ driveway. At how bad she still feels for lying to him. At how much she’s missed him, as pathetic as it sounds.
It’s neither of their faults that things fell to pieces the way they did. But now, as she snaps a silhouette shot of Jack, she’s deathly afraid that this is just what it’s gonna be. 
Jack’s the last one before lunch, so while everyone is taking their lunch break, Amelie takes a few moments to head to an empty room. She braces her hands on a table and takes three deep breaths. Her heart is beating fast. Her mind is starting to get away from her. She needs to focus. She cannot fall apart at work.
“Amelie?” She whips around to see Jack, dressed back in his Devils hoodie and shorts, looking at her in concern. 
She wipes her sweaty hands on her jeans. “Jack. Hey. Can I help you with something?”
“No,” Jack shuffles into the room. “I just heard your sighs. I- I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
It feels like she has molasses in her throat, but she manages to respond. “I’m okay. Thanks.”
“Okay. Good.” 
He’s about to walk out of the room but her brain thinks before her mouth. “Jack!” He turns back around and she takes a breath.
“Yeah?” His face is unreadable. 
She forces herself to keep eye contact. “Would you wanna maybe grab dinner or something?”
Jack blinks. Amelie wonders if he’s ever been rendered speechless. His voice doesn’t give anything away either. “Like, on a date?” She nods. Her stomach is dropping and she feels shame cripple up her spine until-”
“Yes.”
Her stomach drops, but for an entire different reason. “Really?” She asks in a small voice
“Of course,” His eyes glow and the light smirk on his face doesn’t feel arrogant. It feels light. Fond, even. “That sounds..perfect.”
“Oh, okay.” She whispers and her throat closes up as he steps closer. 
“I’ll text you?”
“I’ll text you.”
He smiles brightly, and she can’t help but smile back. She’s missed that smile so much. “Okay,” he whispers. “I can’t wait.”
“Thank you,” she croaks out. “I’m sorry about…well. I’m sorry.” 
Jack chuckles, and it makes her heart feel a bit lighter. He gingerly grabs both her hands, looking right into her eyes as he brings them up to his lips and kisses them softly. She bites her lip, overwhelmed. “Nothing to be sorry for,” he says. “Promise.” 
“Jack,” she whispers. 
He walks backwards shyly, but his eyes stay on hers stubbornly. “You know, with you, it’s always gonna be a yes.”
“Jack.”
He just winks. Amelie’s breath hitches. “I’ll see you later, Amelie.”
She smiles as he walks out of her sight. 
~*~*~
tag list (lmk if you wanna be a part of it!): @ru-kru
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stheresya · 7 months
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"I love him, Father, I truly truly do, I love him as much as Queen Naerys loved Prince Aemon the Dragonknight […]" (Sansa III, AGOT) “Wed?” Sansa was stunned. “You and my aunt?” “The Lord of Harrenhal and the Lady of the Eyrie.” You said it was my mother you loved. But of course Lady Catelyn was dead, so even if she had loved Petyr secretly and given him her maidenhood, it made no matter now. (Sansa VI, ASOS)
I find that these little passages reveal something interesting about sansa's personality. specially when you juxtapose how she's characterized in the text and her worldviews here, and how at first glance they may seem contradictory. but first, let's take two things into account:
the patriarchal society of westeros is very strict on women's sexuality. which means that not only is female virginity held in great value, but also female adultery is very firmly condemned by everyone, unlike men who are allowed to maintain public mistresses and flaunt their bastards everywhere.
sansa is characterized as the conformist, the one who internalizes her society's rules. she's very religious, she's a proper lady in every sense of the word and she often says and does exactly what she's told.
and yet, in these passages we can see that sansa does not care much about societal rules when it comes to intimate feelings. she often hails aemon and naerys' (supposed) forbidden love without a single care that queen naerys was bound by duty to a husband and aemon was meant to be loyal to his king. but most astonishing of all is her nonchalant response to petyr's (false) information that her mother was not a virgin when she married. on one hand it may speak on sansa's views towards women's sexuality, since her current friends (mya and randa) are girls who engage in sex out of wedlock, and she never judges them, just like she doesn't judge her mother for apparently doing the same, and catelyn continues to be the person she admires the most. sansa also doesn't view her parents' relationship any differently because of this, the marriage between ned and cat is still as happy as she remembers, because all that matters to her is that there was love in the home she grew up in. the thing about sansa's character is that she plays by the rules up until a certain point, but on the inside she always prioritizes emotion over societal norms, and that's why she looks more upset at petyr for marrying someone while claiming to love another, because in her mind he's being unfaithful to his heart by marrying out of practicality. we have examples that showcase sansa's prioritizing feelings in AGOT when she, the good daughter, disobeys her father for the first time because she thought she was in love with joffrey, and in ASOS where she never thinks she owes tyrion anything just because he's her husband. so it comes as no surprise that she's so infatuated with the love story of an adulterous and incestuous relationship like aemon and naerys'. one of the main themes in this series is that feelings don't care about honor. and if love is the death of duty then sansa seems more than happy to see duty killed for the sake of love.
of course this doesn't mean she'll stay that way, specially when she's already lost her so much of her innocence and is now tangled in petyr's schemes where she must set her own feelings aside in order to act on his plans. and despite her silent judgement of petyr marrying someone he didn't love, her current betrothal with harry is an entirely practical union on her part since she feels nothing for him and only sees him as a means to an end. there have been many instances since book 1 where she was able to turn off her feelings in order to withstand certain situations. so... what even is sansa's mind? an interesting universe on its own for sure.
I just think sansa's romanticism is one of her most interesting traits (for better and for worse), something that truly contributes to the distinctiveness of her character, and I really hope petyr or anyone else are unable to completely kill that in her.
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afewfantasies · 1 month
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Lucky Strike 🎯 🎱 - HISTORY- II
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PREVIOUS CHAPTER
Pairing: Benny Cross (Bikeriders) X Reader
Summary: Benny deals with the personal ramifications of his joyride & learns about the precincts unexpected guest after a night of being in the doghouse with Kathy.
Warning: Mentions of DV and substance abuse. Neither are descriptive or in the current timeline of the story they are reflections of the past.
Word count: 1.3K
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Getting to the house felt like it took twice as long while Johnny drive Benny home with Kathy in the back seat and Bruce following behind with Benny’s bike. The tension was getting to be too much for Benny and half of the reason he’d been going on a joyride. He’d grown up in a household that argued and it was why he shut down most times instead of going at it with Kathy. Johnny bids him a farewell with an apologetic look having not time to talk as Brucie puts the keys to his bike in Benny’s hands.
“Come by tomorrow we’ll talk” Johnny says with a serious tone.
“Ok, thanks guys” he nods before heading in with Kathy. He closes the door behind him and heads to the kitchen to find something to eat before Kathy really starts fussing. When it does start Kathy really does lean into it. Her points are valid but it wasn’t like Benny had become a bike rider after he’d met her. If that were the case she’d be on a solid foundation. But she’d fallen in love with an outlaw and then tried to change him. 
“And who was that woman there with Johnny? Never see you fellas with them kinda real fancy women” Kathy snaps. Benny hadn’t returned home to peace but all out war for the stupidity of his deeds and disregard for his lady and the family they were building. Kathy’s words not his.
“I was locked up how should I know?” Benny asks thinking of heading to stay with his father tonight as a means of stilling the argument.
“Fancy broad, all done up” Kathy explains as he gets a cigarette. “No smoking in my house!” She snaps.
“What am I locked up in here too!?” Benny snaps finally.
“You comparing my place to a jail after I just put all I had towards your bail? I’ll be eating from cans for the next two weeks” Kathy snaps.
“I didn’t ask you to do that Kathy and you should’t of if you’d resent me for it” he snaps lighting up as he exits the house. He sees her in the doorway as he revs his engine heading back to his father’s house. The drive is long and allows him to clear his head. When he gets out he sees people up playing cards in the middle of the night and nods a greeting before getting his keys. A foul smell hits him as he enters to find his father in a worse state than last time.
“Hi son” Mr. Cross says to his son.
“Pops” Benny nods heading into his bedroom. Sitting in his room be breathless fresh air opening the window and lighting another cigarette. His eyes hold your old window. No one hand heard anything about you since you’d left with the exception of one letter from your mother to Benny’s with a check for the money she’d borrowed and a note telling her that you and your mom were safe and doing well. There was no return address. Teaching over to his nightstand Benny opens his book of children’s stories to your favourite, a photo falls out. Looking at the old photo Benny smiles at your toothless grin. It was one of very few keepsakes he kept from childhood. The two of you had walked for miles on tiny legs to the fair. One of the carnies took pity on the two of you, fed you and gave you enough cash to do one thing. After an hour of contemplation you both decided on the photograph. It was a miracle you’d survived at all. He couldn’t think of things being any worse for children. 
He didn’t know why his mind was on you that night but people say when you dream of someone they’re thinking about you. Benny was the main character in tonights dream of yours as you reimagined a colourful life for him. Based on the news reports and his new friends. He was so handsome from the picture he gave James Dean a run for his money. Wherever you were he hoped you were happy, hoped things were going well and that one day he could see you again. Tomorrow he would to to see the guys and straighten out everything to do with his bail, then he’d find a way to repay Kathy. Maybe even leave her alone for awhile.
Benny feels more eyes on him than usual. Tensing he prays Kathy didn’t carry on too badly about his jail time. He finds Johnny across the room and heads over. Brucie gets up and Benny sits down unnerved, looking at Johnny.
“How fast were you going kid?” Johnny smiles. His demeanour is a shift from Benny’s expectation.
“I don’t know but I’ll pay the club back” Benny says ready to stand up. 
“No need kid, it was taken care of here, have a beer” Johnny says putting one in front of Benny. It’s surprising he’d seen what a bailout could do to the clubs treasury and with so many lately he knew the coffers were probably nearing empty.
“How? Kathy says you called up a woman?” Benny says describing you from Kathy’s recollection.
“Handle your old lady Benny, I don’t need the headache at home.” Johnny snaps. Not wanting the untrue tale to get back to his wife. Johnny hadn’t called you, he didn’t know you.
“Alright” Benny nods sharply.
“Besides, she wasn’t there for me, she was there for you.” Johnny tells Benny.
“I don’t know any women who dress that well” Benny mumbles lighting a cigarette. He’d been underprivileged before he’d become an outlaw. 
“Yeah? Well she knows you.” Johnny responds taking out the two day old paper, handing it to Benny he points to the death announcements. Skeptical at first Benny goes line by line stopping at a familiar name. A man whose death he’d prayed for often as a kid. Emotions overtake him and suddenly he feels like the chair he’s sitting in is unsteady and the clubhouse is spinning around him.
Sitting back Benny recalls the last time he cried. It had been a tearful goodbye because of the very name he was looking at. The two of you were holding onto each others hands for dear life, with fear for the unknown as your mothers pulled you apart. Your mother trying to get you to the car before your dad returned home from 60 days in jail, while Benny’s mother tried to get him back inside. You were only kids and you were both wailing. Your father had gone on a tear and really did damage to your mother before nearly turning on you. It had been Benny screaming into the phone like a void that made the police rush over to avert a homicide. It was the first and last time he called them. He’d been trying to save your life and had lost you anyway. Once separated you both watched each other tearfully until you were no longer in each other’s sights as the taxi cab drove away. The memories flow in and he remembers how powerless the two of you had been. Remembers that you were the only person that ever really fought for him. Swallowing he gets goosebumps, he’d just been thinking of you last night.
“Y/N?” Benny asks, your name carrying with it a ghost of hope.
“Y/N, where’d you meet a dame like that?” Johnny asks making Benny smile.
“You sure?” He can’t hide his excitement.
“I’m sure Benny, she came in all done up” Benny smirks recalling the somewhat wild and unkept child from his memory. “The guys were nearly drooling, she’s a looker with good instincts.” Johnny says. Leaving Benny to ponder those thoughts.
“She married?” Benny asks.
“I didn’t look at her hands” Johnny admits as Benny tries to visualize the new image of you in his mind. He was relieved that you seemed to be alright, thriving and beautiful but his heart hoped against hope that you’d found forgiveness for such a sorry excuse of a man.
“How do you know her?” Johnny repeats drawing Benny from his thoughts.
“Neighbours, as kids” Benny mumbles getting up. “Gotta run” he says getting back on his bike suspended license and all.
________
NEXT CHAPTER
Authors note:
Thanks so much for reading🩵 🎆 ! Don't forget to comment, like and reblog.
FOR FUN i'm curious to see what you think. Respond without reading the other comments:
Where's Benny headed next do you think?
Who's death announcement was in the paper?
Would you bail Benny out no questions asked, no resentment?
Tags: @mrsalwayswrite @ughdontbeboring @astrogrande
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bogunicorn · 4 months
Text
I think it says a lot about the shitty way queer people are treated that my reaction to the extremely obvious Cressida/Eloise chemistry this season is paranoia and suspicion rather than just seeing something with my eyes and trusting that that is, in fact, what I am seeing.
Cressida is obviously being set up to marry Debling to avoid being forced into a marriage set by her father, and characters won't stop reminding the audience that Debling is going to immediately disappear for years after the season and leave his wife to run his estate and live whatever life she wants while he's away. Violet has consciously given up trying to encourage Eloise to find a husband, and instead their conversations are about how Eloise needs a friend other than Cressida. They use the same language that the hetero couples use (Cressida calling Eloise not wanting her friendship earlier as "rejecting my suit," Eloise calling on Cressida the way a male suitor would, seeking each other out anytime they're at a shared function), and Cressida's father warning her to stay away from Eloise is straight out of the coming-of-age queer romances I read as a teenager. It's shot like a romance. If they went full Tipping the Velvet in ep 5, I wouldn't be at all surprised. The showrunner is also a gay man whom I would hope isn't stupid enough to be writing them like this "by accident."
It's also really clear this season that the writers have been listening to the show's reception and answering critiques in-universe. It can be a little obvious, but I don't think any of it is mockery or pandering. Violet is genuinely more helpful instead of pushing her kids into situations, Danbury and Charlotte talked about how the "season diamond" thing is Whistledown's terminology rather than the actual title of the role, Kanthony gets ep 1 spotlight and an actual explanation for why they're not around unlike Daphne and Simon, Eloise has been allowed to grow instead of being pigeonholed as the humorless obnoxious SJW. It would make sense to me that they would have also paid attention to the conversation about Benedict possibly being bisexual and realized that viewers would be accepting of and even enjoy Eloise being bisexual in the main text.
I'm getting into pure speculation here, but I also don't think thos production team expects to get the full 8 seasons. Netflix just doesn't produce dramas that go that long. My speculation is that they more or less have the greenlight for season 4 and MAYBE season 5. 4 is obviously going to be Benedict and Sophie, and my suspicion is that they have 5 earmarked for Francesca, since IIRC in her book she's a widow and s3 has her meeting her husband. They've done basically nothing with Sir Phillip and seemed to have put a bow on Marina's storyline in a way that I think would make it jarring to have them circle back to her and be like "she's dead now and this nothingburger husband is going to hook up with Eloise." They had chances, limited as they were, to have Philip make a memorable impression or have some foreshadowing between him and Eloise for the future and didn't even bother with lip service. I don't think THEY think they'll even get to Eloise's season.
Again, that's entirely speculation based on my gut feeling. But my point is that the show has put itself into a position where I think only the most diehard book fans would complain if Eloise's big love interest is a woman, and the show obviously gave up on catering to book accuracy ages ago.
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carlostck · 2 months
Text
SPOILERS! (ninjago dragons rising season 2 part 2)
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I'm crying why did she grab him??? And he doesn't even resist
Also, I LOVE how they go about Arin's "betrayal" Arin doesn't like him, he doesn't want to be on his side... He just wants what Ras can give him
Very confused about the "Wu caused the merge" thing because I feel like it's more of caused-it-due-to-not-stopping-it situation rather than directly causing it? Especially because Wu was actively trying to prevent it from happening, as shown on a few occasions
In addition to that, love how Cole is shown in the series so far, just wish we got a little more of him. I know they aren't the main characters anymore but he's the mom friend and they all need more of that lol Geo and him running to the museum together is so cute awgh
Liking how this is going, the Ras situation is curious in that it seems like he was attempting to avenge his people by "controlling" the forbidden five (moreso attempted to)
The only thing I didn't like about season 2 part 2 is how they went about the Jay situation? Something about it felt off or wrong, can't place a finger on it though... I may just be stupid and it may only be me, but felt funny; like it wasn't right??
Now, questions on my mind since this has raised some: If Lloyd hadn't been disqualified for being injured in a fight (lame rule by the way, he seemed fine <3), then would he have won? And if he did, he would have to fight Sora, but I'm more curious about what Nokt would have done about it Why did Lloyd's eyes stay green after losing his power? Is it not completely lost, just limited? 'Cause Cole was still able to control the rocks due to the assistance of the elemental energy in his mother's mech, meaning they still have the connection... Which would make sense, considering all the "got my powers back" instances Oh, also they called his power "life," which I find interesting because one would assume that the Tournament of Sources would have the correct name for his power! Curious what else Lloyd can do, since I don't think he's ever really reached his true potential? (I know people consider him becoming the Golden Spinjiztu master it but that doesn't make much sense to me) When Zeatrix attacked Lloyd with the sword, was that supposed to be her literally cutting through his side? They're legos so it kinda just looked like she whacked him with a long stick, lol
Euggh I cannot wait for more I love Sora and Lloyd's relationship. Also when she said "If he (Arin) even wants to be found" I lost it because I immediately thought of Morro oops Wyldfyre sleeping with Riyu, awjwaah... I was slightly sad when we didn't get much of her and Riyu at the beginning (since the relationship just makes sense), but those little things are great I also love Frak (however you spell it) and I hope he doesn't just disappear after that
Still want to see Lloyd go ape shit please elpase pleasesplease pelasep palesepelase pleaseee
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Text
Finally, Always, & Forever ~Dark!Miss Peregrine xFem Immortal!Reader
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@athenodora-sulpicia-writer Request- Miss Peregrine; If you do can you write a one shot with the numbers, 2, 60 and 62 from your Mummy Masterlist all for a female reader/character? And if you write it about Miss Peregrine can you make it dark Miss P?
Hey @athenodora-sulpicia-writer !! Thanks for the request and your patience 😊 I had fun researching Miss P and now I’m happy to say that I can write for her! I got some inspiration from @valentineisrotting on this one 🙃 And I also found a Stela Cole song to go along with it! To me, Love Like Mine appeals to the dark and sacrificial nature of Miss P’s love in this plus the “I’m so good that I’ll make you wanna stay up” line😫 (and much more but that’s the main point). Hope you Enjoy 💋
Mommy… Master List
Requests & Prompt-List
#2. “Be a good girl and tie yourself to the bed posts”
#60. “You broke the rules…”
#62. “I might do something I’ll regret…”
Warnings: NSFW, 18+!!, smut, little angst, little fluff, forbidden love (sort of but not really), kissing, eating out, fingering, punishment, overstimulation, gagging, mistress kink, praise kink, implied degrading kink, implied age gap (all legal), etc.
Enjoy (;
She’d told you to never visit. Not that she didn’t want you to… Hell, she longed for you to. No, because she was afraid they’d catch you.
See, you had what the scientists longed for… True Immortality. That was your peculiarity. You weren’t a simple child anymore, and if had gotten harder and harder to conceal with time. So out of preservation of both your lives, Alma had forbid you from coming to see her in her loops. It was letters only.
But once you’d heard of her loop nearly being damn near destroyed… You couldn’t help the urge to run into the arms of your lover to see if all was well.
You had heard from a friend that Miss Peregrine and her peculiar children had found a new home near New Zealand. So you travelled there and lo and behold, you found the rumored loop and house corresponding with it. You entered and walked through the front gate.
And next to the front door, talking to one of her children, stood the one and only, Alma Peregrine. You suddenly felt all childish again. You’d broken her only rule. But you didn’t care enough about that right now.
As you stood there from afar, mouth agape at your lover, Alma sensed something in the air had changed. You had started to walk up the front path to the house, when her gaze caught yours. A myriad of emotions washed over face.
Anger. Sadness. Pure joy. A little lust…?
As you walked up the house steps, Alma sent her child inside.
Before she could say anything, you began, “I know you told me… not to come… but…” you found yourself a stuttering mess, “but then I heard about you almost getting killed…?! And I just thought that I needed to know you were alright…”
Your gaze met hers as you hit your lips and blushed, unsure what she would do. Suddenly, it was like something broke inside the raven haired goddesses eyes. You gasped lightly as you were suddenly in her tight embrace.
“I was so worried for you…” she whispered.
Your eagerly returned her hug. Her lips peppering kisses all over your face and neck.
“Me? I was worried for you… Are you safe now…?” You whispered.
She nodded and pulled away slightly, growing more distant all of a sudden. Her gaze becoming darker.
“Love…?”
“Even though we’re safe now… You still broke the rules, my dear…”
Your breath hitched slightly. Light blush crept up your cheeks as you apprehensively nodded in recognition of your disobedience.
“I might do something I’ll regret…” She warily warned you.
Afterall, she hadn’t seen you in ages. And now she was getting a chance to lay hands on you once more. At her full Control. She wanted to check in with you first.
“I don’t care.” You whispered, “Use me. Fuck me. Edge me. I’m yours.”
At that, she smirked and nodded, her hand crept up your shoulder, as she brought her lips to the shell of your ear.
“Second floor, last door on the right…” she husked, “Be a good girl and tie yourself to the bed posts…”
Your breath hitched yet again.
“Yes mistress…” you whimpered, scurrying into the house and up the stairs.
You didn’t even register to explain your presence to her children, whom you passed along the way. Luckily, Alma had you covered on that front. As you stripped and dug around her closet for her signature black lace ties, Alma explained to her children a bit about you and your presence here.
When she came into her room, you were struggling in tying your second wrist to the bedposts. You’d already ties both your feet and your left wrist. The raven haired beauty chuckled lightly, and shutting the door, she came over to you.
“Let me help you, dear…” she purred, easily tying your wrist to the bedpost.
You and she both knew this was the nicest she was going to get tonight. After that, her tone and gaze went straight dark. The kind of darkness that made your thighs clench and your breath shallow… She then moved to the edge of the bed, taking in your entire form.
“You broke the rules…” she repeated, this time with an sharp edge to her tone.
You gulped.
“I did, mistress.” You whimpered, squirming under your restraints.
She hummed in satisfaction of your recognition.
“I haven’t touched you in ages…” she wickedly purred, licking her lips.
Even after all this time, it wasn’t hard to remember that she liked verbal answers…
“No, you haven’t, mistress…” you breathily whimpered.
“Safe words?”
“Green for good, yellow for pause, red for stop, and three taps for stop if I can’t speak.”
The raven haired woman hummed in recognition and then began stripping in front of you without another word. You whimpered lightly at the sight of her body, adorning a jaw-dropping sleek, black lingerie set. Your little sounds did not go unnoticed by the other woman. She then climbed on the bed, crawling on top of you.
“You’ll have to be quiet. I won’t have the children hearing your leud sounds.” She warned, “I will gag you if you can’t keep those pretty lips closed.”
You nodded vigorously, pursing your lips together tightly.
~~~
You knew she would punish you for breaking her rules, but fuck…
Why did she have to be so fucking skilled at it…?!
Her tongue dipped into your precious cunt tasting the juices of yet another orgasm which she had pulled out of you. You were a shaking, stuttering mess, who was desperately trying to stay quiet. But your head fell back in pure bliss as her tongue slotted itself inside your core once more.
“Fuck yessssss…” you hissed, tugging on your restraints.
At this, Alma cocked her head up and removed her tongue fully from your heated center. You hit back the whimper which was bound to try and escape you. The raven haired goddess then got up without another word and grabbed your knickers, shoving them in your mouth and effectively gagging you.
~~~
The stamina of this woman, you couldn’t…
She’d been bringing you over the edge for hours, punishing you with the double edged sword of overstimulation. One particular lick to your sensitive and puffy clit, sent you spiraling and spasming. Your back arched and you screamed into your knickers in response.
“Yes, sweet girl, I know your mistresses tongue feels so good. But why are you crying, sweet thing…?” She taunted.
She wasn’t wrong… Your mascara was running down your face. All from the pure utter, overstimulating bliss the woman as bringing you.
“You asked for this when you decided to break the rules…” she wickedly purred, attaching her hot mouth to your clit and sucking harshly.
A desperate cry of painful pleasure left your throat.
“Is this too much for you…?” She taunted, attaching her mouth back quickly on your clit.
You nodded vigorously, pulling tightly against your ties, your body spasming at her touch. But she firmly held your thighs for her easy access.
“That’s odd… look at how your dripping on my tongue…” She chuckled wickedly.
You let out a particularly desperate whine, which was easily muffled by your make shift gag.
“But that’s ok, sweet thing…” She lustfully purred, “If you keep crying like that your mistress will let you cum in her mouth however many times you’d like…”
New tears of pleasure streamed down your face as she brought you to yet another climax, leaving your throat sore and your legs trembling.
“My pretty crybaby…” she cooed while cleaning you up only to go down on your dripping cunt once more.
~~~
Aftercare was a staple for Alma. So when she was done with you, she gently scooped your fragile form up and carried you to her bathtub. She ran the water and then promptly joined you, making sure to live on you and clean you up proper. Then, the two of you snuggled in the water for a while. You nuzzled into her form lovingly.
“Missed you so much…” you murmered into the crook of her neck.
“I missed you too…” Alma whispered, kissing your nose affectionately, “You don’t ever have to leave again, my Dear…”
“I’m yours. Always and Forever…” you murmured, drifting off into a light slumber in Alma’s arms.
~~~
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gaybananabread · 5 months
Note
tadc headcanons perhaps? Any character, lee or ler
☆—TADC Main Cast Tkl Headcanons—⁠☆
~How about all of them? This took forever; I live in shame. But hey, they're done now, so…yay! LONG so prepare to read for a sec. Thank you for your patience, and I hope you Enjoy!~
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💙Pomni🃏
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General:
This wet dog of a clown definitely loves tickles.
She just thinks it’s nice that there’s a way to just laugh without needing to think about anything else: a way to just disconnect and enjoy oneself.
A lee-leaning switch. Loves being tickled, but occasionally wants to make someone else giggle and squirm.
Lee:
She gets lee moods pretty frequently, though she rarely tries to fix them. Girl is way too anxious to actually ask for what she wants
Sometimes, one of her fellow players will notice and step in and help, usually Kinger or Ragatha.
She’s a squirmer for sure. Make sure you’ve got a good grip, or she’ll wriggle away (not for long, but still)
If you get her really good, she’ll squeak like a stress toy. It flusters the hell out of her if you tease about it.
Worst spots are her sides, which get loud squeaks if you squeeze them. Navel is sorta bad as well, but she can handle it a lot longer.
Melt spot is her neck, specifically under her chin. She can and will fall asleep if you stay there too long.
Ler:
She’s a softer ler to everyone but Jax. He deserves it honesty-
Gentle tickles, small teases, compliments. Her goal is to make you happy.
“Wow, you’ve got a really pitchy laugh. No, don’t stop, it’s nice.”
“Thanks for not squirming away. Oh, c’mon, I can tell.”
“You’re so soft… I’ve gotta do this more often.”
Really easy to fluster if you can think through the giggles; a quick compliment or praise has her burning.
Her ler moods are usually spurred by something else, like walking in on a tickle fight or hearing the t-word a certain way.
To fix a mood, she’ll usually just go up to Ragatha or Kinger and wiggle her fingers. They usually get the message pretty quickly.
Pretty decent with aftercare. She’s a cuddle bug, but if you’re not big on touch, she’ll find a blanket for you. Other than that, you’ll have to ask.
🦷Caine🎪
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General:
The chaos man is a pure switch.
Once he finds out that tickling can affect him and works oh-so-well on his friends, he makes sure to abuse that knowledge whenever possible.
I mean, laughter is better than abstraction, right?
Lee:
The first time he’s tickled is the most confusing moment of his existence.
Like, what? Someone wiggles their fingers somewhere, and it feels like little fuzzy zaps under his digital skin? Crazy.
Once he gets past that, though, the toothy man loves every bit of the odd sensation he can get.
He’ll provoke the players, casually throw the t-word into speeches, or make NPCs to do the job for him (nobody knows about these guys though)
He tries to hold still, but don’t be surprised if he randomly teleports mid-tickle. It always flusters him when he has to go back and ask for it to continue.
Worst spots are his sides and underarms. He’ll screech.
He’s not really all that ticklish anywhere else though, each spot only getting little giggles and titters.
Doesn’t really have a melt spot, though he loves belly tickles. It’s not a bad spot at all for him, but he likes feeling “normal” and connected to the players in that sense.
Sometimes, if you really get him laughing, the sound will glitch. It’s utterly adorable to hear.
Ler:
Run as fast as you can, my friends.
Ler moods come to him for completely random reasons. If he sees someone sad or stressed, if they laugh just a bit too sweetly, if they’re being too sassy: they’re done for.
He uses his digital powers to subdue lees. If you’re hiding? He’ll teleport to you. Fighting him off? Bubbles come and snag your wrists. If you genuinely don’t want him to, he’ll let you go. Other than that, good luck.
“Oh my! You’re quite ticklish, aren’t you?”
“You can’t, hmm? Can’t what? Can’t handle it? Can’t tell me to stop? I’d love to know what’s going through your mind, dear!”
“It tickles, does it? How about I add a few feathers; I hear they’re all the rage among humans!”
He’s really hard to fluster when he’s tickling. Teasy lees, you might have met your match.
Sort of okay with aftercare? He doesn’t understand it at first, but he tries. Head pats and water are his go-to, but he’ll do more if you ask.
💜Jax🐇
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General:
Sassy rabbit feels like a ler-leaning switch.
He’s always willing to wreck a bitch, but doesn’t mind the occasional laugh or two for himself.
When he’s feeling lonely or touch starved, tickles are his go-to in either direction.
Lee:
While on the rare side, his lee moods are intense.
Blushes, small giggles, antsy demeanor, flinching from small touches: not exactly discreet.
If another player notices (which almost always happens), he’ll deny and fight it ‘til the cows come home. You’ve gotta fight to give him what he wants.
He’s a flailer for sure. Donkey kicks and stray elbows are his specialty.
Worst spots are his ears, specifically the bases. They get him cackling almost instantly.
Melt spots are the tops of his knees. Nobody really ever targets them, but he goes nearly limp if a few spidering fingers land there.
If you get him just right, he’ll thump his feet against the floor. He dies if you tease him about it.
Ler:
Evil son of a gun, so watch your back.
He lives for a good chase. Will probably try and tease you into running, just so he can trap and catch you.
Very verbal and teasing. He has zero shame in turning you red as a rose.
“You got ten seconds to run, doll. Better make ‘em count~”
“Aww, what’s the matter? Can’t bring your arms down? That’s alright; I’ll make sure you have some fun~”
“You sure do scream a lot, sweet cheeks. I’d cover my ears if they didn’t sound so cute.”
Very smug man, not an easily flustered ler. It really takes some confident prodding or skill to get him.
He uses his tall man advantage every time. Holding a lee up by their arms, using his legs to keep them sitting, putting something on a tall shelf and attacking whenever they try to get it: the list goes on.
He’s actually pretty good with aftercare, even if he doesn’t like to admit it.
He’ll make sure you’re okay and get you water, though he’ll act like it’s such a chore. After that, it’s either cuddles because you “look like death warmed over,” or a special snack to “keep you from annoying him.”
❤️Ragatha🪡
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General:
She’s a switch, not really leaning in one direction or the other.
Loves tickling because it can make the other players laugh, which they all desperately need. She knows she does.
Lee:
She’s incredibly shy when she gets in a lee mood. Good luck getting her to do anything productive or coherent until she’s helped.
While she tries holding still, she can’t help but curl up. You’ll need to hold her arms above her head or get used to moving with her.
I like to think she’s got a louder, more obnoxious-sounding laugh (no projection, you have 0 proof-)
Lots of snorts, cackles, and little hiccup-squeaks.
Speaking of which, the easiest way to fluster her is to compliment her laugh. She’s self-conscious about it, so literally any praise will have her coming apart at the seams (hehehe pun)
Worst spots are her neck and back, specifically her shoulder blades. She cannot handle massages around there.
Melt spots are her belly and thighs. Some gentle traces or pokes in either of those areas has her in giggle heaven.
Ler:
She's incredibly sweet, though she's got a different way of doing things for certain people.
With most of the circus members, she's soft and playful. Light touches, quick scribbles and small teases.
“You're such a wiggle worm, giggles. Try to hold still for me, will you?”
“Aww, look at that adorable blush. I'm glad to know you're having fun!”
For select individuals (Jax and anyone misbehaving), she's playfully mean and a touch ruthless. Fast squeezes and very teasy attacks.
“Aww, that spot’s pretty sensitive, huh? I should tell the others; I'm sure they'd love a chance to see you like this!”
She's surprisingly strong, able to pin pretty much all of the players. If you wanna try escaping, get ready for a good fight.
She's amazing with aftercare. She'll make sure you're alright, get you a drink, and swaddle you in a soft blanket for cuddles.
If you aren't big on touch, she'll get you the finest digital cuisine (basically asking Caine for your favorite food) and whatever else you can think of.
🎭Gangle🎀
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General:
This ribbon girl is very much a lee.
If she does tickle anyone, it’s an extremely rare one-off occasion.
She’s just more comfortable with being tickled, for a number of reasons.
Doesn’t want to risk pushing someone’s boundaries, uncomfortable touching them, or just a general not-wanting-too feeling.
Lee:
Lee moods are about as rare as pebbles for her. They’re pretty obvious, too.
Tightly coiled posture, a giddy look on her face (biggest giveaway), and very nonchalant staring at people’s hands.
Needless to say, everyone is clued in almost immediately.
She has no shame in wiggling around and unraveling, though she does actually want to get away. It’s fun, and it usually gets her ler to tease her.
Worst spots are the inner parts of her midsection ribbons. She will absolutely try to unravel and slip out of your arms if you try it.
Melt spot is her mask, specifically the back of it. As long as she’s wearing it, she’ll feel the tickles. Girly melts into a giddy puddle in your arms.
Her laughter is really pitchy, with plenty of squeaks and squeals to go around. Kind of like a mouse on helium (great way to tease her, as long as it’s done kindly)
Gets flustered VERY easily. You won’t have to try hard unless you really want to.
���Kinger🪲
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General:
The softest lee-leaning switch you'll ever meet.
He loves tickles, though you won't catch him openly admitting it. It's too embarrassing for him
He gets lee moods frequently, though he's willing to help a friend with theirs if they need it.
Lee:
He's decently shy, never coming out and asking for tickles. He usually just suffers in silence until Ragatha notices.
On a rare day where he's stable and confident, he'll tease Pomni or the ragdoll to try and provoke it.
It rarely works how he'd like, but they almost always realize that he's in a lee mood. Failed successfully.
He'll squirm around like a literal worm, though he can't help it. Lucky for his ler, he's pretty much a walking tickle spot.
If one spot is blocked, another opens up.
His worst spot is his stomach. He goes silent when anyone gets him there, save for the occasional squeak or gasp.
Melt spot is the top of his head on the little cross thing. He'll lean right into it, maybe even fall asleep.
He's got a really squeaky, pitchy laugh. If you get him really laughing, he'll start to snort and flap his hands.
Ler:
If one of his fellow players is close to abstraction or just needs some cheering up, he'll be there.
He's got a very soft, lightly teasing style. Doesn't really push anyone to their limits unless they really want him to.
“Of all the bugs in my collection, I must say I have a favorite…the Tickle Bug!”
“Those are some cute giggles, friend. So glad you could share them with me!”
“Of course I can help with your…predicament. Now, arms up for me, dear.”
Kind of the dad of the circus. He's always there to help if need be.
Super great with aftercare. 80% of the time, he'll tickle you in his fort. That means pillowy cuddles afterwards and a nice nap.
If that's not your thing, he's more than willing to accommodate. As long as you're happy, he's happy.
🎡Zooble🪀
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General:
This preschool toy mashup gives me strong ler vibes.
They don’t seem like someone who’d like to be tickled unless the ler was EXTREMELY close to them and knew their boundaries by heart.
Ler:
They’re an absolutely despicable little shit.
Worst spot targeting, slightly mean teases, and the CHASES!
They could throw their arm at the fleeing lee, and it’d all be over. The thing could latch onto their worst spot and wiggle away, leaving the lee unable to do anything but wait for Zooble to catch up.
It doesn’t take a lot to provoke them, but if you want a proper wrecking, you’ll have to work for it. They don’t get annoyed enough to destroy someone easily.
VERY teasy, almost unfairly so.
“Tickles, does it? Maybe if you hadn’t been such a pain in the *boink*, this wouldn't be happening.”
“You brought this on yourself, ya know. Every unbearably ticklish second of it.”
“What? Not my fault this is your worst spot. Get less ticklish.”
Have you seen that lobster claw thing? You can’t tell me that thing wouldn’t tickle like crazy.
For aftercare, they try their respective best. They’ll pat your back, maybe give you a head rub.
After that, they’ll typically bring their undoubtably exhausted lee to Kinger’s pillow fort for a much-needed nap.
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kimi240302 · 1 year
Text
Losing Game
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A/N: Before you read this story, be aware I am from Germany and can't write a bit of English. That's why I'm sending this through an app that translates it for me.
A/N2.0: In this story, the characters are all a little older.
A/N3.0: After this part will come the epilogue, so please stay strong. Hopefully it will be worth it! Also, I have to thank you for all the notifications, as well as the great comments.  
Summary: Y/N Swan tries everything to keep her promise to stay away from Demetri Volturi. But can you stay away from the man fate bound you to?
Demetri Volturi x Female!Swan!reader
Part 3 of Daylight Masterlist 
Words: 2,6k
Main Post / Twilight Masterlist / Request list / Playlist 
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There's darkness in the distance From the way that I've been livin' But I know I can't resist it
- David Kushner 
"I still don't really understand why we're going to Volterra. It's just a small town in Tuscany. Why not go to France or......" "Mallorca!" Grinning, Y/N shook her head, knowing full well that Mick and Mara would start arguing again, as they had so often lately.
Tired, the young girl let herself sink more into the airplane seat, turning her head away from an annoyed groaning Mara, who mumbled to herself in a low voice, " I knew that shit would come from you." Mick, who had heard this, sat up straight in his seat, put his hands on Mara's seat, pulled himself up and slapped her, very gently, on the back of the head. Upset, the young girl turned around. "Are you out of your mind!" Mick rolled his eyes. "Don't be a drama queen. That was nothing more than a gentle pat, to the back of your head." Mara narrowed her eyes and slapped Mick against his forehead. Taken aback, the latter fell back in his seat. "Children, please. There are other people on this flight and our teacher is looking too!" Y/N looked at her two friends, amused. "He started it!" grumbled Mara. "You insulted me first!" "When are you two going to admit you're into each other, anyway?" The young Swan raised one of her eyebrows and looked back and forth between Mick and Mara in turn.
The two people in question first looked at each other, blushed, and then were looking anywhere but in each other's direction. Mara crossed her arms in front of her chest and scowled, turning her gaze to Y/N. "I don't take comments from someone who can't control their own love life." Still grinning to herself, Y/N watched as Mara put on her headphones and closed her eyes. After glancing back at Mick, she saw him looking out the plane window, lost in thought, and knew this school trip was going to be interesting.
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Lost in thought, Y/N turned her head to the window, where she looked at the clouds while putting on her headphones. Immediately, the young girl relaxed as the sounds of her favorite song poured from them. But even her music did not help to displace the lingering sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.
Her class teacher had heard that the somewhat smaller city of Volterra, in Italy, was one of the best cities when it came to art. Because no matter where you wandered or looked, the small town had its own story to tell, and it was in the form of art. So it was a done deal for her art fanatic of a teacher that her graduation trip would be to Volterra.
Y/N had to admit that what she had seen of the city, which was not much thanks to Bella, she really liked. But she didn't want to go where Demetri was and so the young girl hoped to get through her class trip in peace without any incidents and preferably without meeting any of the Volturi. Since her teacher hadn't gotten any more tickets for the castle tour, which was partly Y/N's fault, she could even play with that thought very hopefully.
But if Y/N was honest with herself, something deep inside her hoped to see Demetri again. Since their night together, the young girl had noticed him several times in the distance. However, each time the vampire had disappeared again just before she reached him. So Y/N could not even be one hundred percent sure whether Demetri had really been standing there or it had just been a fantasy of her mind.
Another thought that had come to her while thinking longer told her Demetri wanted to prove something to her in this form. The vampire wanted to show the young girl how much she missed him, how much she needed his closeness and his touch, and Y/N couldn't deny it. She missed him, more than she had ever thought possible and if Y/N could, she would tell him that he had won, that he could stop. But she was too stubborn to cave in and too loyal to break the last of her promise to Bella. Even though it was long gone, Y/N clung to the fact that Demetri was the one who always came to her, not she to him. Which, if you said it out loud, was complete bullshit, which is why Y/N never said it out loud.
Lost in thought, Y/N let her fingers run over the various books on the shelf in front of her. The young girl had been in Volterra for a day and had decided to isolate herself from the others. She couldn't explain it, but with each step she took on the streets of Volterra, an invisible sling seemed to tighten more and more around her neck. It felt wrong to be here and not to go to the castle and tell Demetri that she was in the same town as he was, right within his reach. The young girl had to literally force herself not to go up the stairs of the castle and run straight into the vampire's arms.
The only solution Y/N saw was to distract herself. She had hidden herself in a small library on the outskirts of the city to search through the shelves. Because in times when Y/N didn't know what to do, when reality became too serious for her and the problems too complicated, she found support and protection in the realities that her books created.
Smiling, Y/N stopped at an decorated spine, grabbed it, and pulled out the book. The light blue color of the book was faded and starting to fade in some places. Gently, Y/N's fingers slid over the cover of the book, looking fascinated at the black embroidery of rose vines. Carefully opening it, she skipped a few pages and began to read the prologue's ornate Italian script, which still shone in contrast to the yellowed page.
"I keep learning new things about you, la mia bella."  Startled, Y/N winced, dropping the book as she did so. "Demetri..." Breathed the young girl after she turned around. Smiling, the vampire looked at her, bent down and picked up the book from the floor. "Libraries, I have a feeling this is a scene we should both be familiar with."  He held the book out to Y/N, which she only looked at for a moment without taking it.
"What are you doing here?" Y/N asked in a trembling voice, immediately regretting her question. After all, Demetri lived in the city where she was a stranger, an intruder. Raising an eyebrow, he looked at her with amusement. "I live in this city. Probably the better question is, what are you doing here in Volterra and did you mean to tell me you were here?" She opened her mouth to answer him. But no sentence came out, so she closed it again.
"Y/N?" Demetri lowered the book and took a step toward her. Y/N raised both hands and shook her head, taking several steps backwards. "I have to... my class is probably looking for me already." With that, she turned on her heels and fled the small place.
However, Y/N did not get far. Demetri, who had stood rooted to the spot in the store for a moment, had caught himself again, overtook her and pushed her into a hidden alley, where he pressed her against the wall. His eyes were almost shining and his anger was written all over his face, making Y/N sink slightly into herself, as far as Demetri's firm grip on both of her shoulders would allow.
"When are you going to stop running away from me! When will you stop trying to hide what we both know you feel the same way I do!" Frightened, the young girl winced and whimpered. "Demetri..." Angrily, he applied a little more pressure to her arms, which Y/N answered with a face contorted in pain. "You're hurting me and scaring me." Her voice barely noticeable and if Demetri wasn't a vampire, he wouldn't have heard her. Disappointed in himself, he let go of her, almost as if he had burned himself on her skin. Demetri backed away a few steps as he ran his hands through his hair in frustration, cursing softly in ancient Greek.
The vampire turned to his mate, just dropped his hands from his hair to his sides and looked at her sadly. He felt powerless and defeated for the first time in his immortal life. "I just..." his voice broke off as he searched for the right words. "I just want to know if I should give up Y/N. I just want to know if I should let you go." Briefly, he looked at the ground, took an unnecessary breath that helped him get his nerves under control, and took the retreating steps forward again. Y/N stood, unable to move, still leaning against the wall. She had tears in her eyes that threatened to stream down her face any second.
Y/N had only ever thought about how she was feeling in this situation and never what Demetri was going through with this whole thing. Seeing him like this now and knowing that it was her fault broke her heart.
Carefully Demetri embraced the face of the woman he loves and automatically put his forehead against hers. "Tell me, is it worth continuing to fight or should I release you and disappear from your life?" Y/N clasped both of Demetri's wrists with her hands to find support. Her tears flowed, as silent cries of despair down her cheeks.
"I promised my sister." Her grip on both wrists tightened as her voice trembled more and more.
"What exactly Y/N. Not to be free? Not being able to make your own decisions, not being able to love, not being able to be happy? She's denying you what she has with Edward because it would be with me. Because it is me who is the villain from her point of view and she knows that you are loyal to her, which means you would never break your promise, no matter how unhappy that makes you. That's the power your sister has over you."
Demetri released his forehead from hers and looked into her eyes again. Gently, his fingers began to brush the tears from Y/N's cheeks. "The Volturi could be so much to you Y/N. Your friends, your allies, your supports, or even your family." He paused, making Y/N look closely into his eyes so she understood how much truth there was in his words. "I could be so much more. Your confidant, your lover, your husband, your forever. You just have to let it happen, you have to let your love for me happen." Y/N's tears grew more. "What if that's what scares me." "Everyone is afraid of what they don't know. Y/N you don't know what it feels like to be loved or what it's like to exist outside of your sister's shadow because you've lived in just that for too long."
Y/N broke eye contact with Demetri, loosened her hands and lowered her gaze. She didn't know what to say, she was confused and conflicted with her inner self at the same time. If she left with Demetri now, she would never see her family in Forks again. If she chose Bella again, she might lose Demetri forever.
For Demetri, however, her silence and distant behavior, was answer enough. In despair, the vampire closed his eyes and looked away. As he did so, he too removed his hands from her face. Y/N's gaze went up as she felt a breeze.
Demetri was gone.
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For a few moments, Y/N stared silently at the spot where Demetri had just been standing. Her tears began to become threefold as her mind understood what had just happened. The young girl dropped her face into her hands and could no longer avoid her bitter sobs. As she tried to get her breathing under control, her legs gave out from under her. Slowly, Y/N slid down the wall behind her. Once on the ground, she pulled her legs to her chest to regain some balance, but the tears only increased. The young girl became aware that she had lost the man who meant more to her than anything else.
She was aware that she had no one to blame but herself. Demetri had given her more than one chance to go with him, to be with him, and yet her loyalty to her sister, to whom she really meant nothing, had destroyed everything.
The young girl didn't know how long she had been leaning against the wall crying, but when she arrived in her room she knew it must have been a very long time. Mara and Mick were both sitting in the room the two friends shared, taking turns trying to reach Y/N on her cell phone. When they saw their friend, they both jumped up from their seats and approached her.
"Where were you Y/N?!" Mick placed both hands on her shoulders, forcing Y/N to look up at him. "We were worried about you you can't..." Mara who was standing behind Mick and was about to scold her best friend, dropped silent.
Y/N wrapped her arms around Mick's middle and began to cry again bitterly. "I lost him." She cried into her friend's chest. Startled, he hugged her back tightly and glanced over at Mara. The latter looked as startled as he was and pointed to the bed. Mick nodded, unfastening his and Y/N's arms to lift her up and lay her in the bed. There she immediately buried her face in the pillow while her hands clawed into the covers. Mara laid down on Y/N's right and pulled her into the middle, which Mick saw as an invitation to lie down on Y/N's left.
They both looked at each other and silently made the agreement to ask tomorrow what had happened and what exactly Y/N meant. Now they both just took her in their arms, turned out the lights and were silently there for their best friend.
With an aching head, Y/N was the first of the three friends to wake up in the early morning hours. Carefully, Y/N released herself from the arms of her friends and stood up. Smiling, she watched as Mick automatically reached for Mara and pulled her close. Which she returned with a hug and burying her face against his chest.
Quietly, the young girl tiptoed to the balcony door, which she carefully opened to step out into the fresh air. Outside, she sat down in the armchair that was identical to those on every other balcony in the hotel. With her eyes closed, she stretched her face toward the rising sun and breathed in the fresh air.
Y/N opened her eyes, however, startled when a shadow and a breeze flashed past her. Confused, she stood up and walked to the railing of the balcony, only to feel the breeze behind her again. Immediately she wheeled around and faltered. With hesitant steps she walked towards the table next to the armchair where she had been sitting a moment ago and grabbed the book where she was sure this had not been lying there a moment ago.
With a sigh, Y/N settled back into the chair as she recognized the light blue cover, with the rose vines embroidered on it. However, this one was not faded and still well intact. Y/N opened the book cover and faltered. With trembling hands, she took the note that had been placed there and read through it.
"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all"
Confused, Y/N looked back at the book and closed her eyes sadly, for she had the uneasy feeling she was holding her goodbye gift in that moment.
This book is the property of Demetri Volturi, it was written in ink.
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@twilightlover2007 @ssnapsaurus @xxx-wounded-angel-xxx 
@ms-sasa @elissanatok @helen06dreamer @animequeen454​
@svtbpbts
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theconstantsidekick · 3 months
Text
Lit Cigarettes (Part 2)
Pairings: Dean Winchester x Reader, Sam Winchester x BestFriend!Reader, Damon Salvatore x Stefan Salvatore x Sister!Reader (these are the main ones, there are too many others to tag) Genre: Fluffy angst
Summary: While Sam berates Dean for his choice of very pathetic reply, Y/n tells her brothers about said pathetic reply.
(Set after the events of Supernatural season 4 and yes, Y/n's dated a bunch of TVD characters.)
a/n: The two conversations are happening parallel-y, hope that makes sense?
Warnings: Smoking, mentions of smoking, more romanticisation of smoking, a lot of that yes, sorry. Don't smoke kids. Semi-explicit content? IDK, there's kissing.
Part 1 is here.
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It’s only when they’ve crossed the Mystic Falls border does the silence in the Impala break.
“You’re an idiot,” Sam tells him. 
The car stops abruptly. “How long have you been awake?” Dean asks, taken completely off guard.
“Long enough to call you an idiot,” Sam answers before he opens the door to the back seat, exiting the vehicle. Dean takes a second to realize that Sam’s making the walk towards the passenger seat. 
Dean pokes his head out of the window just to be petulant and screams, “THAT WAS A PRIVATE CONVERSATION, you sneaky son of a bitch!”
Rolling his eyes, Sam opens the passenger seat door and gets inside., “You really think I didn’t know about it?.”
“Know about what?” Dean asks as the dumbest dumb person to ever exist as he starts the car back up again.
Sam looks towards him, and his eyes are louder than any words can ever be. His eyes are screaming at him, calling him the dumbest guy to have ever walked the earth. But then he says, “She’s been in love with you for 15 years, and I’ve been her best friend for 14 of them. You really think I’d need to eavesdrop on your conversation to figure it out?”
Dean opens his mouth to say something but thinks better of it and instead asks, “14?” He’s facing the road now, too embarrassed to face his brother.
“The first year was rough, we got off on the wrong foot,” Sam explains. “I think I was mostly just pissed at her for fawning over you like you hung the moon. Not the point. The point is, I don’t need to overhear a conversation to know that she loves you. Everyone and their mother knows that she’s in love with you.”
Dean stays silent for a second, because he doesn’t know what to say. What the fuck is he supposed to say to that? He… He doesn’t know what to say to that. 
“It was still rude, bitch,” Dean says lamely, because like he said, he doesn’t know what the fuck else to say.
Sam just laughs, without any humor but all the passive aggression in the world. “What was rude was saying—”
“He’ll pick you up on tuesday!?” Damon yells, mouth agape, hands covered in flour and sugar. 
“And what did you say to that?!” Stefan asks from where he sits on the kitchen counter, watching his brother and his adopted sister try (and fail) baking a cake for his birthday. 
“I said I’ll see him Tuesday,” Y/n answers with a magnificent amount of shame. She can see both her brothers are about to launch into an all out assault of questions, but she is categorically not in the mood. She cuts them off before they can even start. “He didn’t really give me a chance to say anything else, he just got in the car and drove off, okay?”
“Honestly, I don’t even think I can blame him,” Damon retorts, urging a cocked eyebrow from the other two Salvatores. “I blame you,” he says pointing his goop drenched whisk at her. “It’s your fault for falling in love with a NSYC reject.”
She just rolls her eyes and goes back to cleaning up the mess Damon’s creating at every step of his cake making process. “Do you really think you should be saying that? When you look like you could enter a Gerard Way Look-Alike Contest and win?”
While Damon makes the most absurd voices known to mankind (and vampire kind), Stefan just lets out a soft chuckle. “Okay, okay,” Stefan tries to calm them down. “Let’s just go over the events of the night again, shall we?”
“Can we please not?” She pleads.
Stefan carries on unfettered. “So you told Dean Winchester, the man of your dreams that you love him and he said he’ll see you Tuesday?”
She exhales audibly, “Yes… more or less. Yes. That’s how it went.”
“The fucker doesn’t deserve an announcement of love, if you ask me,” Damon counters, hands back at work, mixing the goopy and frankly probably unsalvagable cake mixture.
“That’s probably why no one asked you!” She throws back, throwing away the paper towel in the dustbin. “AAH! I just needed to say it, okay? Fifteen years is a very fucking long time to keep something like this to yourself. I needed him to know.”
“But you’d told him already, didn’t you?” Stefan counters. “Before he got dragged to hell?” She flinches at the mention of the incident—the memories are far from pleasant—but nods in agreement. “What did he say back then?”
“I know,” she tells them.
“You know what?” Damon asks, face souring at the sludge in his hands. Then he sneakily (not sneakily at all) grabs a bottle of Bourbon and empties almost half of it into the cake batter, mixing in the liquid.
“No, he said that,” she replies.
“Said what?” Stefan questions.
“He said, ‘I know’!” 
A look passes between Stefan and Damon and then Damon does the honors, “If nothing else, you gotta hand it to that Timberlake-wannabe, he’s got a great track record of having the shittiest responses to someone professing their love to him.”
“What the fuck else was I supposed to say?! I was about to be dragged to Hell!” Dean defends. “It’s not like I had the ability to focus on anything else.” He’s a fucking liar—his focus was definitely not on being dragged to hell when she said what she did. But Sam doesn’t have to know that.
“Anything, man! Literally anything else!” Sam countered, frustration evident in every single inch of his movement. And it’s always times like these, when Dean begins to think if Sam would side with him if he were to actually have a fight with her. Would Sam keep hunting with him if she decided to part way? “You are such a fucking dick!” Sam remarks. So no, probably not. He’d pick her over his brother for sure.
Dean can’t help but cower a bit at the strength of Sam’s annoyance. “I wasn’t trying to be,” he tries. “I just thought… when in doubt, Han Solo that shit, you know?”
And that apparently is the worst thing to say. “What is wrong with you, Dean? You know, you really are Dad’s son! ‘Cause my God. There’s only one other man who is so incapable of handling their emotions, and somehow, you’re even worse than him.”
Dean doesn’t appreciate the insult to their father but he lets it slide on account of Sam being really fucking angry. “Fine! If you’re so great at this chick-flick shit then tell me what should I say to her. You tell me and I’ll say it to her on Tuesday?”
“Tues—seriously?!” Sam’s veins are about to pop out, Dean thinks. The man is so fucking angry with Dean right now that he’s genuinely worried that he;s about to bust the vein on his temple. 
“What?” Dean throws back, cause actually he has no other fucking response.
“You know, I don’t even get what she sees in you. She’s crazy smart, and talented and funny. She’s so freakin’ funny!” Sam says, and Dean has to agree with all that. She really is. “There’s so many amazing people who’re just dying to get even one shot with her, and yet, she’s stuck on you!”
Dean’s jaw clenches. “Then why doesn’t she go after one of those amazing people?” 
“I don’t have a single clue,” Sam answers.
“What do you mean? She did give it a shot with one of them, didn’t she? Derek What's His Face?” Hale. Derek Hale. Dean knows his name by heart.
“Derek Hale. Yeah, Derek was pretty great,” Sam agrees, leaning back on his seat.
“Then what happened?” Dean is trying not to sound too curious about it. And if his grip tightens on the wheel, enough for his knuckles to go white, no one has to know about it.
“I’m not sure. I thought it was going great with him but she broke it off with him when we were at Stanford,” Sam tells him, eyes out on the barren road, looking so puzzled, you’d think he was talking about the mysterious phenomenon of raining toads. 
“When she dragged you to Stanford,” Dean corrects him, because as much as he'd like to know, the topic is so not his favorite. Neither is this one but it’s… It’s older and the wounds have since healed, become scars.
At his words, Sam’s confusion is gone in an instant. He sits up straighter—as straight as a giant can in a ‘67 chevy Impala. He turns to Dean with something like defense burning in his eyes. “She didn’t drag me to Stanford, Dean!”
“Yeah, right,” Dean brushes it off. “You and I both know, that’s some horseshit. She went there and you wanted to follow her, like you always did.”
“No. Dean,” Sam calls his name in a way that urges him to turn. Once he does, Sam continues, “I didn’t follow her to Stanford. I—I didn’t go to Stanford for her, she went to Stanford for me!”
“What?”
“Dude, she was the valedictorian. She got into 20 different Pre-Med programs, and at least 12 of them were better than Stanford. She just went there cause she knew I wanted to go,” Sam word hit Dean like a tonne of bricks. “And well,” Sam turns back to look at the road again. “She also kinda went there for you.”
“For me?” The fuck is that supposed to mean?
Sam sighs before he says, “She thought that maybe if she were there it would be easier on you cause you’d know that she was there to look out for me.” He smiles then, a small sweet thing. “She went there for you.” What the actual fucking fuck?
Sam turns to him again, and somehow “Don’t get me wrong, she went there for me, but she went there for you too. Everything she does, she does for you.”
“That is—and I say this with all the love I have ‘cause you’re the only Salvatore left other than that dick over there—that is the most pathetic thing I’ve ever heard,” Damon comments. 
She pushes a buttered up cake tin towards him and says, “Must be a genetic trait then, passed down from generations. Seeing as the only other Salvatores I know are still, to this day, hopelessly chasing after a girl who looks exactly like one Katherine Pierce.”
“ELENA IS NOTHING LIKE KATHERINE!” Both her brothers shout out in unison.
She has to smile at that. “Not even the—” she points at her own face as a demonstration.
Both of them just pass her a look filled with ire. She smiles wider. 
“At least we have hope,” Damon defends, pouring the ungodly mixture into the cake tin. “What’s your fucking excuse?” 
“I don’t have one!” She really doesn’t. “I just—I just feel the way I do, I don’t know what to do about it.”
“Move on!” Damon tells her.
“For once I agree with him,” Stefan says from the counter behind them. His words are softer than Damon’s, they always are. Stefan’s always understood her dilemma just a little bit better than Damon. She thinks it might just be because Stefan understands the feeling of helplessness a little bit better than their brother ever can. “You really should move on.”
“I want to,” she tells him, with all honesty. “I really, really want to. Don’t you think I’ve tried? I tried! With Derek, with Alaric… and it was working. It really was, until he rejected me.”
“Rejected you?” Damon mocks. “I think it was barely 4 months ago that Alaric died in your arms confessing his undying love for you.”
“Damon,” Stefan reprimands. 
“What?” Damon counters, clearly annoyed as he turns to look at Stefan. Stefan, however, just shakes his head, telling him in his small gesture to stop it. The wound is still too fresh, don’t touch it yet. And that’s exactly why despite being fond of Damon a little bit more, Stefan will always be her favorite brother.
“I am not ready to touch that topic with a ten-foot pole so I’ll side step that and tell you that I have tried, extremely hard to move on, and if I could do it. I would. It’s not like any of this is fun for me,” she tries to make them understand.
“It’s not as hard as you make it out to be either,” Damon comments and his voice is somehow softer than before because this isn’t a jab. This is more wishful thinking, she thinks. Damon, for all his nonchalance, hates seeing her pining for Dean. Not just because he doesn’t like Dean but also because he’s seen the most of it. He has always been her drinking companion on endless  nights. Pouring her one drink after the other, knowing no other way to sooth the pain on her features. He loves her differently than Stefan does. He would’ve killed Dean by now if he thought that could be a legitimate solution. He’s way more violent in his protection of her than anyone else.
Taking the cake tin from Damon, she opens the oven and shoves it in. She sighs audibly before she says, “Look, I have made my distaste for the Elena situation quite clear already—”
“And it’s still fucking unreasonable,” Damon retorts.
“You’re making me agree with him twice on the night before my birthday, now you’re just being rude,” Stefan chides, smiling.
“She pulls you both in opposite directions, which leaves me in the middle where I’m stuck and neglected!” She can see that both the boys are ready to fight her off on the matter all night but she doesn’t want to. “BUT that’s not the point I’m trying to make here. What I am trying to say is that, with Elena, you both feel what you feel. It’s undeniable and inescapable. You could let go of it even if you tried. You both know what it feels like to be hopelessly in love with someone with your entire being.” When both men stay silent, she knows they agree. So she continues, “Can you at least both do me the courtesy to try to understand that that’s how I feel about Dean? That maybe—”
“—She doesn’t know how not to be in love with you, you know?” Sam says it like it’s the simplest thing in the world. Like he isn’t breaking Dean’s world apart in half. “I mean, it’s definitely not easy for her.”
“Watching him flirt with a girl at the bar while I sit in a shady corner, drowning myself in Bourbon,” she says.
“Watching you come back to the motel, covered in hickeys, and sometimes watching you not come back at all,” Sam says with so much pain, Dean thinks maybe he sat with her on those nights. And then it clicks for Dean why he’d see his brother with bags under his eyes in the mornings after.
Her jaw clenches, she fidgets with the “It's always someone else. Either it’s a cheerleader or—”
“—A receptionist at a motel or anything with a pulse at a bar,” Sam says.
“It’s always someone else and it’s never me,” she notes solemnly.
“And it is so fucking painful to watch,” Sam notes.
“It feels like someone’s tearing my heart out and stabbing it in front of me with a fork just to play with it.�� She can’t help but smile sadly at the accuracy of that description. “He smiles those smiles that charms the pants off of everyone. And I have to see it, because try as I might, I can never look away. I can never look away from the way he touches them because I can’t help but imagine how it would feel like to be touched like that… touched like that by him. I can never look away when he smiles like that. Which just ends up hurting a little bit more.”
“I’ve had to watch it over and over again for a decade and if it hurts me this much I can’t even imagine how much it hurts her,” Sam tsks so simply. As if he isn’t burning Dean from the inside out. 
“I just wish he—”
“Weren’t so loud about it. If you weren’t so loud about it I think it would be easier maybe?” Sam muses. “But then again, maybe it wouldn’t be. Not that she’d ask that of you, she knows it’s not fair to you so she would never ask you to be any other way than you…” And then he sits up again, facing Dean, and Dean has to try his best to keep his poker face intact, “But I can! So, I’ll do it for her—Dean, please can you be just a little less loud about it?” Dean turns to Sam at that and somehow the action is mistaken by Sam as an offended one. “I’m not asking you to change, just… I don’t know, just don’t do it in front of her. Don’t flirt with the cheerleaders while she’s sitting right next to you, you know?”
And man, Dean might be the one whose vein is about to pop now. “What is up with this cheerleader bullshit? She said it too? I wasn’t that fucking back in high-school!”
Sam just sighs in annoyance, “You ignored her Dean.” Dean’s about to protest, but Sam cuts him off. “And I don’t think it was intentional on your part. It was the first time you weren’t an outcast and it was so much fun to fit in, I felt that way too. But she… She was two years ahead of people her age. And that really doesn’t fly well in a small town like Mystic Falls, you know that. I mean, you were in her class, man! You know that the only person who ever talked to her was you but then you got so lost in the high-school of it all that you just ignored her.” Sam shakes his head. “It wasn’t your fault, you were young but it really wasn’t fun to watch either.”
“I didn’t mean to,” Dean defends very very lamely. “I never meant to hurt her, ever.”
“That’s what sucks about all of this. I know he never does any of it to hurt me, but…”
“But it still hurts anyway?” Damon provides, comforting and gentle. 
She nods with a sad broken smile as she says, "To be in love—”
“—And to be hurt, is to be made perfect,” Sam quotes.
“Shakespear, As You Like It,” Dean notes, to Sam’s utter surprise. Which, wow! He reads! And besides, it’s… it’s Y/n’s favorite of the Shakespear plays. Of course, he knows what it’s from.
“Sucks that it has to be this way,” Sam notes calmly, now looking out the window at the passing trees. “I know it’s not your fault, I really do. I also know you really care about her. I know that too. But I just wish I didn’t have to watch my best friend be in love with someone who doesn’t love her back.”
Dean’s had enough. He sees red. “WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT?”
“What?” Sam almost balks at Dean’s sudden outburst.
“You and Y/n keep saying that, again and again, and for all that is un-fucking-holy, I can’t fucking figure out who the fuck said that? Who in the name of fuck told you that?”
“Dean—Dude! What are you talking about?” Sam’s eyes are wide and confused.
Goddamn it, Dean thinks. “Who the fuck told you, EITHER OF YOU, that I don’t feel the same way?”
There is silence then.
It stretches on for a minute but it feels like an hour to Dean.
“Are—are you serious?” Sam finally questions.
Dean clenches his jaw. “You don’t think I have better things to lie about than this?” He’s being snarky but he can’t help it. It’s been a long fucking drive.
“Then—” Suddenly Sam’s excitement level shoot the fuck up. “THEN WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE DOING DRIVING AWAY FROM MYSTIC FALLS?”
There are reasons. Dean knows that there are. There was a solid reason why Dean decided to drive away after dropping her off without saying a (meaningful) word. But try as he might, Dean Winchester, cannot for the life of him remember what the fuck it was. 
He clicks his tongue, “Good question,” Dean comments before his hand finds the gear shift, and he swerves the car around.
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“I am just saying that you cannot ignore it. It’s not a fictional concept. There have been countless tests on the subject matter,” Y/n argues. They’re at the Salvatore Boarding House and the party is in full swing. She’s got a glass of Bourbon in one hand and an unlit cigarette on the other.
“On rats,” Bonnie throws back, smiling.
“Dogs too,” Matt adds from behind her. She smiles at him for the support.
“That doesn’t mean it works on humans,” Tyler cuts in from the couch.
“Of course it does. It’s not a baseless theory. It’s the core facet of every training, ever. You do something good, you’re rewarded, you do something bad, you’re punished,” she explains. “Some people even go as far as to call it parenting.”
Everyone lets out a soft laugh. 
“But it doesn’t stick, not always at least,” Caroline counters.
Y/n nods, “Fair enough, it doesn’t. But doesn’t negate the fact that the pavlovian response is quite a real phenomenon. I mean, it’s well known. It’s quite literally used in conversion camps—mind you I do not approve of the abhorrent abuse of it—but that’s what they do. They show you something very straight, that according to their disturbing homophobic beliefs should make you feel aroused and don’t shock you. Then they show you something very gay, that makes you feel aroused and then they shock you. It tells your brain that somehow feeling aroused at this particular thing is dangerous. Then they do it again and again and eventually the entire process just trains your brain to be scared shitless of even thinking of being aroused, because well if you do, you’ll get—”
“Electrocuted,” Elena finishes.
Y/n clicks her finger and points at her. “Doesn’t work though,” she states, as someone plucks the cigarette out of her hand but her point is almost at the end of being made. “Doesn’t stop you from being queer, nothing ever can stop you from being queer.” The cigarette is placed back into her hands. “Queer is who you are, and queer is who you fucking should be.”
She takes a drag.
“Amen.”
Y/n turns instantly at the sound of that voice. 
“Dean,” she breathes out.
Dean Winchester and her lit fucking cigarettes.
It’ll be the death of her. 
“I thought you had a quota of like 5 cuss words a day,” Dean says with a smirk. Somewhere behind him she can see Sam but her world doesn’t really know how to focus on anyone else when Dean is standing so close to her—barely a couple inches between the two. “I thought you would’ve used them all up… after the conversation in the car.”
“It’s past 12,” she tells him dumbly. She can’t be blamed. WHY IS DEAN BACK HERE? It’s not Tuesday, is it?
There’s a few seconds there, which are just silent. He’s looking at her and she’s looking at him and it’s just silent. Sure, there must be a party in the background but she doesn’t really remember it. His eyes are so beautifully green, she can’t think of anything but The Great Gatsby. She can’t think of anything but the green light at the end of Daisy Buchanan's dock across the bay from Gatsby's mansion. The green light which represented Gatsby's hopes and dreams, particularly his longing for a future with Daisy.
“What are you—” she begins at the same time as he says, “I wanted to—”
Their words get jumbled up.
“You go first,” Dean suggests.
She gulps, quite noticeably apparently because Dean follows the motion of her throat with his eyes. “What are you doing here?”
He smiles then, unabashed and wide. “I should have gone first. Would have saved us time. I was gonna say that I wanted to talk to you…” he answers her question. 
“Oh,” is all she can muster.
“Can we do that somewhere… not here?” He nods over to the audience they have gathered.
She wants to look at what he’s motioning towards but she can’t really pull her eyes off of him right now. Instead she just says, “Yes… The courtyard.”
Dean nods and looks at her waiting.
What’s he waiting for? 
Until Dean just raises his brows with a soft smile and then she remembers. 
“Oh yes, courtyard, let’s go,” she says. And she’s about to grab his arm to drag him off but realizes that both of them are full. She looks from the cigarette to the beer. Thinks for a second—decision made, she downs the beer and places the bottle on the closest flat surface.
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“What are you doing here?” She asks again once they’re at the courtyard. They are face to face again, but she has actively decided to put a couple of steps worth of distance between herself and the man of her dreams. For precaution.
“I had to see you,” Dean replies.
“Thought you were gonna see me Tuesday,” she chastises with very little heat, taking a drag of her cigarette.
But apparently Dean takes it to heart. “That—yes! That’s what I am here for. That is the stupidest thing I have ever said. Actually, no scratch that, that’s the second dumbest thing I’ve ever said, ‘I know’ is first.” Confused, she scrunches her forehead. So he explains, “When I was being dragged to hell?”
“Oh,” makes sense, she muses. She shrugs then another puff before she says, “When in doubt, go with Han Solo.”
Dean shakes his head but he’s wearing a smile which she can’t really place. “Yes but it—it was dumb, and I’m sorry.”
“No, no, Dean. No. I am sorry. I put you in a very weird position at a very, very wrong time. It was my fault,” she tells him, and she means it. “Even today, I dropped a whole freakin’ bomb on you without any preamble. Your response made sense considering the condition. I’m sorry to have put you in that position to begin with.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Dean says and his words carry so much determination it makes her shiver.
She waves it off or well, tries to. She has to take a couple steps back, pulling her arms across her chest, she leans on the steps just behind her. She takes a long drag before she asks, “Is that what you were here to do? Say sorry for your response?”
Dean nods. “Yes, and to ask you,” he takes a few steps towards her, “I had to ask you…”
“Ask me?” She urges.
“Did you mean it?”
And she has to roll her eyes at that, drawing on her cigarette again. “What kinda question is that?” 
“A serious one,” Dean says evenly.
“Fine, yes. Of course, I meant it.”
“You don’t regret it?” Dean questions.
“What?! No!” The idea seems so silly to her she can’t even come up with a sarcastic remark for it.
“And you still feel that way?” Dean asks, with a hint of… is that fear in his voice? “Do you still…?”
The night is quite forgiving to them. The moon is out but not in full force, otherwise there would be one less party guest and one extra dog in the boarding house. Her birthday party fell on a full moon night, sadly the patent group werewolf, Tyler, had to skip that one. 
But tonight’s not a full moon, it’s a crescent moon. Shining quite bright, bathing Dean in its light. That along with the warm yellow of the garden lights makes him look ethereal, she thinks.
“15 years I’ve loved you, you think I’ll be able to get over it in three hours?” She throws back.
“A yes or no would do,” Dean rebukes.
“Yes,” she says, sighing. “I still feel that way… but…”
“But?”
“But I think… I think I’ll try to move on…” she acquiesces, a long inhale of smoke, a shorter exhale of the same.
“Why?” Dean bites.
She pulls back a bit before answering, “I understand that the position I put you in isn’t entirely fair. And well, it isn’t great for me either, is it? It would be better for both of us if I just tried to move on… for good this time.”
“Don’t.”
“What?”
“Don’t move on, damn it!”
And that just pisses her off, she throws the cigarette on the ground, butts it with all her fury. “What? Is this some sort of fucking ego trip for you? Look at the hopeless girl in love with me?”
“2 out of 5 cuss words already used. The day’s barely started and you’re left with only 3,” Dean comments with a smile that makes her want to punch his lights out.
“Quit it!” She yells. “You just making fun of me now? That’s just fucking cruel, Dean.”
“2 left,” Dean states but at her glare he takes another step towards her. “I don’t want you to move on.”
“Why the fuck not?!” She’ll probably punch this guy very soon.
“Cause I don’t want you to.”
“Why not? You just want me to stay madly in love with you, keep watching you chase after girls at bars and keep letting my heart break? You want me to keep dying bit by bit, is that it?” Her voice breaks a little at the end.
“No. Of course not! But if you moved on, it would kill me, so I can’t let you do that, Y/n. I can’t.” Dean tells her. 
She doesn’t understand any of this. What even is happening.
“I think you’ve finally lost your mind. Hell has clearly gotten to you. You’ve gone mad! What do you want me to do, keep falling deeper and deeper in love with you, torment myself day in and day out when I know that you will never love me back. What is wrong with you, Dean? What the f—”
“Listen to me,” he cuts her off. “You really need to listen to me cause you’ve got just one cuss word left for the day and what I’m gonna say you might need it for that.” He breathes in, slow and deep. “I never said that.”
“Never said what?”
“I never said that I didn’t love you back.”
She… What?
Wait what?
“What do you mea—?”
He cuts her off again. “I saw you 15 minutes before you saw me.” She’s so confused she thinks she might just cry. And it’s all made worse because Dean takes a few steps closer to her. The gap is nowhere near as secure as it was when this conversation began. “I was getting out of the car and you were…” He smiles, so beautifully that her heart aches. “You were smoking, of all things. At the ripe old age of 13, by the way.”
“My parents had just died like, 6 months ago,” she defends like it matters at all.
Dean smiles all the same. “Smoking your first cigarette. That’s how I saw you, and you were—you were smoking that like a champ, honestly. I think you took four drags, before you decided it was too much and then butt the entire thing. You then began your mission to hide it like they were porno mags under your bed that Stefan and Damon could discover any moment.”
“Porno mags would’ve caused less trouble,” she comments absentmindedly.
He smiles wider then. “Fair enough.” He nods almost to himself. “But yeah. I saw you 15 minutes before you ever saw me. So, I’ve been in love with you 15 minutes longer than your 15 years.”
She doesn’t think she remembers how breathing works.
“I have been in love with you since the moment I saw you. And every single day I wake up and I think I could not love you more but then something happens, you laugh at some joke or you talk about how democracy is a concept built on the idea of inequality, or you sing karaoke at some bar or you just are, you just be and I just… I fall harder in love with you. Every moment I spend with you, is another moment where I find out that I can love you more than I already did.” Dean laughs then. “I was stupid, I was so stupid. I kept thinking that I couldn’t have you. I kept thinking that I shouldn’t even try because what would be the point? I was never gonna quit hunting and this life—it’s filled with so much shit. I thought there was something really bad around the corner, so how could I drag you into that mess with me? So I just—I never thought that I could have you but then I died! I fucking died, Y/n. And now apparently there is a goddamn apocalypse around the corner so clearly bad things will happen no matter what! Then why the fuck should I have to go through all of that alone? Why should I have to go through that without you? I can’t do it. I don’t fucking want to.”
He doesn’t want to.
She’s dreaming, isn’t she?
“I didn’t know, though,” Dean says sheepishly, with apologies all over his face. “I never fucking knew how you felt. Of course I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have—All the girls, all the bars, they were just—I didn’t think I could have you, I didn’t think you’d ever want someone like me so I wanted to numb the pain, I never thought I was hurting you in return. I wouldn’t have—”
She takes a step towards him. They are now standing too close, chest pressed into chest. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not,” Dean argues, still feeling so guilty that it’s almost painful to watch.
“It’s okay now,” she clarifies. “Do I get to have you now?”
“Obviously! Of course! I’m yours. I’ve always been yours, Y/n. Only yours—”
She cuts him off by pressing her lips on his. It’s a small, tentative thing, mostly to try it out, but also to shut him up. And shut up, he does. 
She pulls away, not too far, never too far, just enough to look up at him. 
Then Dean Winchester smiles. Wide, and cocky, and flirty and beautiful.
He pulls her back in, hands on caressing her jaw so gently that a part of her thinks maybe she was made of porcelain all along and everyone forgot to inform her. Because he is being so soft with her, his lips on hers are tender but there is so much love in every movement that she can taste it. 
Her hands find his hair, and she plays with the soft spikes, pulling him closer, and perhaps it’s her hunger for him or maybe his for her, but tenderness gives way to passion. They are all hands and lips and desperation. He’s grabbing onto her for dear life, pulling her closer and closer as he wants her whole and maybe he does. She understands though, because she’s holding onto his leather jacket like if she lets go he’ll vanish and urging him closer too. It’s mindless and mindful at once.
Lips slotted together seaking out all that they’d been wanting for, for the last 15 years.
Dean’s hand travels down to her thighs and instinctively she knows to jump up. He grabs her easily as she wraps her legs around him. It’s hungry now, they are so very hungry now. It makes her moan, Dean, ever the man of opportunity, takes that moment to slip his tongue in. Their tongues dance together in a heated embrace. She can’t help herself, she’s seeking some release from the tension building inside her, so she grinds against him, only for both of them to pull away, moaning in sickening pleasure.
And she can’t help it, she laughs. “Fuck.”
Dean laughs too. Pressing his forehead to hers. “That’s all of them, sweetheart. You’re out of cuss words for today.”
“That might be a problem considering the state you’re in,” she grinds against him again, to tease him, to feel him, to have him, cause she can now. 
Dean groans before smiling again. “Fuck me, sweetheart. I can cuss all I want, you’re the one who’ll be in trouble.”
“Maybe I want that?” She smiles.
Dean laughs again. “God, I love you so fucking much.”
She kisses him again, it’s a sweet, loving little thing. “I love you too, Dean.
Find Part 1 here.
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stylesispunk · 11 months
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"I couldn't want you anymore" | part 7
Artist! Joel Miller x Florist! Reader
series masterlist | previous chapter | next
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summary: when Sarah's mom comes back into Joel's life to fight for their past relationship, Joel needs to convince her he is in a happy relationship with the florist next to his gallery in order to make her go away. The problem is, that he and the florist can't stand each other's guts or that it's what he thinks.
warning: age gap (Joel is 36 and reader is 28). Remember that "Bee" is the reader's nickname, angst as always, fighting between our two main characters + smut, and fluff.
a/n: Hello! Chapter 6 is here. First, I want to thank every one of you for reading and reblog and comment on my story, it makes my heart happy. This chapter is shorter than the last two, but is a chapter I had to rewrite 3 times because, but I didn't like it at all, but I hope you do a little bit at least? haha. Reblogs and comments are always appreciated and please share your thoughts with me, I love reading from you No proofreading so I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes. Happy reading. 💌
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It's been two weeks since your last visit to Joel's place. It's been two weeks since you showed up on his doorstep, angry and broken because you blamed him for wrecking your plans to move on and start a new life, and two weeks since he kissed you.
Two weeks, and Joel had started to become crazy because of your radio silence.
He had thought that after your emotional outburst, you would simply need time to think, hoping that you would return sooner and ask him to try, for real this time.
After three months of not having you that close, he had replayed every moment of with you, every touch, your eyes, and the taste of your lips. He had poured his heart out to you, declared his love, and yet your response was requesting time to consider his intentions.
He feared you were tired of him, and the accident's wounds didn't hurt as much as his heart. He was recovering faster, yet his emotions were pained.
He recalled the night he crushed your heart, thinking this is exactly how you felt when you said "I love you" and he failed to respond the same back. For him, the irony of pain was how badly you wanted to be comforted by the one who hurt you, but now it was you who wasn't there.
The longing for you got stronger as the days passed, and it became increasingly difficult for him to sit still and wait for you to reach for him. Joel acknowledged that your silence wasn't completely a rejection, but he was afraid that the distance you were creating might shatter what was left of your story.
He didn't want you to become a memory; instead, he wanted to create memories with you.
"I think she's being unfair to Joel," Tommy said over dinner, seeing Sarah, Lily, and Joel's gaze on him.
"Why do you mean by that?" Lily asked, defiantly
 "Joel told her he loved him, wasn't that what she wanted?" he inquired.
Joel threw his brother a cautionary stare as Lily scoffed.
"No, no, it wasn't. She didn't stay because of him."
The weight of the conversation was pressing down on Joel. He was aware that everyone around him were concerned about him, but at the same time he hated how everyone had a say about you and him, not knowing what really was involved.
"It's not like he forced her to stay," Tommy continued.
Joel's irritation was rising, and he felt the tension between his brother and Lily; after all, she was your best friend, and she would defend you from everyone.
Joel pushed his plate aside, feeling that he was in an endless cycle of emotional limbo as he lost his appetite. All he wanted was to have you back in his life, but that was a decision only you could make, and it was driving him insane.
"Can you both stop?" Joel interfered, his voice firm. "I don't need you two fighting over something that was my mistake."
Tommy and Lily fell silent, their expressions softening with concern. They exchanged a glance before Lily spoke, her tone gentler now. "Joel, Tommy is worried about you. We can see how much you're hurting."
Joel nodded, acknowledging their concern. "I know. Thanks for looking out for me, but this is something I have to figure out with Bee. If she needs time, I'll give her time, even if it kills me”
Tommy, understanding his brother's feelings, nodded in agreement. "You're right, Joel. We'll be here for you, no matter what."
Joel appreciated their support, but he couldn't help but wish that you would break the silence and give him some clarity about your feelings. The uncertainty was becoming almost unbearable.
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Joel continued going back to the moments you'd had, your most recent overwhelming argument, and your decision to take some time apart. He wished he could break the stillness and tell you how much he loved you. He wasn't just driven by the desire to fix his mistake; he also wanted to repair a relationship that had been harmed due to his commitment.
He felt more anxious with each passing day, his longing for your presence almost unnerving. The gap between you required to be filled with understanding, trust, and reconciliation.
He'd been on edge for days, spending his days recovering from the accident, alone when Sarah departed for school, with only a painful silence echoing in the back of his mind, waiting for any sign from you.
When the doorbell rang one hour later, he felt a rush of hope running through his body, thinking that maybe you had finally come to him to talk things through. He rushed to the door and opened it, only to find you standing there with a serious expression and small envelope in your hand.
"Joel," you said before he had a chance to say something "I've come to give you this."
He was taken aback, expecting an emotional talk rather than a monotonous tone leaking through your voice, indicating an absence of enthusiasm.
You didn't even look like yourself; you were painted in grey shades.
"What's that?" he asked.
You handed him the envelope containing the money he had paid Connell for your shop behind your back "I don't need anything from you, Joel. Not your pity, not the idea that you own me because you bought my shop. I can take care of myself."
Joel's face contorted with an array of emotions as he was taken aback by your words. "Bee, it's not about that. I—"
But you cut him off, your frustration evident in your voice. "Joel, you can't just buy something I love, throw your money at my back, or kiss me and expect everything to be fine." You won't be able to buy your way back into my life."
He struggled to hold back his anger in the midst of your stubbornness any longer. "I'm not attempting to bribe my way in, Bee. I thought I was showing how much I cared, how much I was willing to do to in order to make things right."
Your eyes were filled with rage. "What?" you ask. "You thought that once I found out you were the one buying my shop, I was going to run back to you?" "That I was going to be over heals for you?" you hit him in the chest.
Joel's rage and pain welled up within him. He tried to narrow the gap between you and make amends, but every step he took appeared to push you farther away. In an outburst of rage, he cried out, "What do you want from me, Bee?" "How long will it take for us to get things right?"
You shook your head, the annoyance clear in your voice. "You can't expect grand gestures to fix everything." It takes time, effort, and faith to repair what has been damaged."
"All right," he said, taking a step closer to you and leaning in closer. "If you despise me that much, leave!" "Leave as you said you were going to"
You stared at him agape, your own anger rising at him. His words stung.
Joel's remarks had hurt deep, and you couldn't deny that you had been holding resentment and rage. But his closeness, his intensity, made you feel weak "Maybe you want to go back to what we used to be, all the fighting, all the cursing," he whispered in your ear, "Maybe you loved that."
The harsh tone of his words caught you off guard. Your feelings for one other were a tangled knot of love, anger, impatience, and hurt.
You were drawn in by his dark gaze, and you cupped his face firmly feeling the warmth of the skin beneath your fingertips. The rage remained, but beneath it was an obvious spell that kept you together.
"Shut up," you commanded, your stare locked on his, his lips inches from yours, his breath against your mouth.
"Make me," he challenged you, staring you in the eyes.
Joel's dare hung in the air, challenging you to break the distance dividing you, to let go of your rage and fury, and eventually give in to the magnetic pull that had always been between you.
You crashed both of your lips with not a single word, going into an intense kiss. It was laced with desire and frustration against each other, the climax of all the tension that had been building over the weeks you were together once and three months apart. Your lips moved eagerly together, each of you pouring all of your feelings into the kiss.
And now that his arm was healed, he clutched your hips and push you against the door, without intentions of stopping devouring your mouth in this hungry kiss. Your arms found their way to his neck to tangle into his locks, and Joel groaned into your mouth.
"You fucking idiot," you muttered between kisses, but he bit your bottom lip to silence you as his hands moved from your hips to your bum and to your waist, drawing you closer to him. His lips started kissing your neck until they found your mouth once more, you whimpered against his mouth.
His hands found the gem in your top and yanked it off. He'd spent the last three months longing to see you like this again, and now he was on cloud nine.
"Bedroom," he whispered softly, not breaking the kiss.
Once you stepped in his room, you were lying on your back with him on top, taking your lips back to his again.
You placed your arms around his neck and opened your legs so he could go closer to you, moaning at the sensation of him against where you wanted him most.
"This doesn't mean anything," you whispered as he ground his hips against yours, sending electricity running through your body.
"Shut up," he said, and you chuckled, grabbing his pants.
"Make me," you said, with a smirk on your face just like he did minutes ago.
He groaned into the skin of your neck, yanking his jeans and underwear off. Your gentle grasp on him caused him to whimper.
He drew you closer to him by your hips as you continued to devour one other, his hands going under the denim skirt you were wearing.
You knew this was bad, that allowing him to do these types of things with you was a show of weakness, but you couldn't stop the joy and the dazzling fireworks traveling up to your lower stomach were stronger than your thoughts. You were utterly out of breath, and you wanted him so bad it ached that you felt your lungs would catch fire. 
You couldn't really comprehend what he was saying on the skin of your chest because your mind was consumed by the overwhelming desire to have him as you needed right now.
You couldn't really comprehend what he was saying on the skin of your chest because your mind was consumed by the overwhelming desire to have him as you needed right now.
He paused kissing you and spreading kisses on your chest for a moment to gaze at your parted lips and your chest rising and falling as a result of him, and he couldn't lie, he felt proud of his lasting control over you.
"Are you going to keep looking or are you going to f-"
You couldn't finish before he snatched your lips back, dragging you around his waist and grinding himself against you, making you moan against his lips. With such want, you could feel the aching growing up between your tights.
"You don't seem so mad at me right now, do you?" he huskily whispered in your ear, making your knees weak.
Before you could fire your retort, his fingers teasingly pulled your underwear down, careful to avoid where you wanted him the most. He seemed to be having a good time and enjoying every second of you squirming under him. Your head fell back to the bed, a gentle but irritated murmur from your lips. When he saw your reaction, he smiled, and you felt the delicate touch of his fingers stroking across your core.
"Oh," you whimpered, out of breath.
His soft lips caressed every single area of your skin on your chest, just over your red bra, with an agonizing slowness that made you insane and roll your eyes of pure pleasure. The one he unhooked with one hand so swiftly you gasped, a sound drowned out by the sensation of his lips over your nipples while he continued to pound on you at your core.
He greets you with a laugh, his cheeks exposing his dimples, and his eyes shining at the sight of you.
"Stop teasing, you idiot," you grumbled.
He sucked on a nipple, causing your back to arch as he gripped your hips to the bed before meeting your eyes, absorbing every inch of your face lost in the joy of the moment, stroking your checks with his thumb.
As he grabbed for a condom from his bedside table, you grip the gem of his t-shirt to remove it, leaving no barrier between the two of you.
He moved between your tights, spreading them apart once more, and welcomed himself into you. You hadn't had him since that night when you confessed to him, and he felt even bigger than you remembered, and you both gasped when he began thrusting inside. He pushed his forehead against your neck, kissing you softly over the skin.
"You're amazing like this," he said into your ear, "God I could just-"
He could complete it since he focused solely on making you pleased picking up his pace and thrusting quicker. He was completely inside you, feeling like he was breaking down your defenses as he pushed it on and on. You were out of breath, and all the air in your lungs didn't feel quite enough. You bucked your hips, allowing him to move even more quickly. And that's exactly what he did, giving you everything you asked for.
As your nails left red lines on his naked back and he thrust his hips harder into you, you could feel the heat spreading all over your body, like diesel meeting fire, causing an imminent explosion.
You struggled to breathe, but it didn't matter since the surge of ectasis he gave you was enough to make you feel alive. His finger traced the patterns over you, leaving hot flames all over your skin, and you clutched him, trying to appreciate this closeness before it was ripped away.
And he continued to rock into you. The sounds you both produced were completely hot, forcing your blood to rush into your checks as you continued to toss your head back to give him permission to mark the skin of your neck.
"Fuck you," you said in ecstasy,
"you’re doing it, love" he retorted.
You grasped for his hair to hold him tight against your lips, kissing the warm skin under his ear as if you wanted him to hear you, panting for air, feeling your climax come so close that you trembled against his body. Not long after, your world spun around you, and you tightened your grip on his waist, feeling the release as you cursed in his ear, forcing him to release after you. His push grew sloppy, sending small sparks up your tights, till he came to a halt and you saw a delicious sight.
He kissed your temple for a few seconds longer, enjoying the sweat drips on your skin. Finally, you looked into his eyes. His brow eyes' delicate brightness sent thrills down your spine, leaving you with a lump in your throat.
 Joel chuckled as he caressed your warm face, his touch on your skin radiating affection. All of the tension and resentment that led you to have sex before disappeared into the void.
"You don't have to go anywhere," he leaned in, his lips brushing against your brow. You're exactly where you should be."
You closed your eyes, appreciating his proximity and the soothing sound of his voice. “How can I trust you?”
Joel's lips lingered on your forehead as he replied, his words filled with sincerity, "Because when I hold you like this, it's where I find peace and meaning, Bee. I was a fool not to see it then. It took almost losing you to realize I'm in love with you."
Your eyes met his, and for a moment, everything seemed to align. The honesty in his confession left you breathless. The anger, the passion, and the pain you both had shared had led you to this moment, where the love you had for each other was undeniable.
Your heart ached at his words "Joel, it's not that simple. There's so much we need to work through, so much we need to rebuild."
He nodded, his thumb brushing lightly against your cheek. "I know, Bee”
Joel rested his forehead against yours, enveloping the both of you in comfortable silence.
“Can you give me my clothes, please?” You asked breaking the atmosphere
With a heavy heart, Joel nodded and reluctantly pulled away from you.
He moved to take your clothes from the ground of his bedroom and handed them to you. The air between you felt charged. The lust, and passion you felt for each other leaded you to crossed the line once again, this time, being the anger, the main feeling holding you together.
“You don’t have to go now, you know that?” he pleaded,
You avoid looking into his eyes, you knew you were weak for the man and you could fall for his words.
“I know, but I need to” you answered, as you quickly dressed, convincing yourself, you didn’t want to give yourself so easily to him again.
"Can you give me my clothes, please?" You spoke, breaking the comfortable silence between you two. 
Joel nodded, involuntarily breaking away from you, with a heavy heart.
He took your clothes from the floor of his bedroom and handed them to you. The space between you now felt tense again. The lust and passion you had for each other drove you to cross the boundary once more, but this time with fury as the main feeling holding you together.
"You don't have to go now, you know that?" He begged,
You avoid looking into his eyes because you know that you were vulnerable for him and you might be persuaded by his words.
"I know, but I have to," you replied as you hurriedly dressed, assuring yourself that you didn't want to give yourself so easily to him.
Joel sat there silently watching you, his eyes full with love and need for you. He knew what had just happened was fueled by rage and desire, and that didn't mean you were okay with him. It would be difficult to repair your connection.
You turned to face Joel as you finished dressing. "I need some time, Joel." Time to reflect, heal, and figure out where we stand."
“It was good by the way” you addressed smiling at him, referring to what you’d had “But it doesn’t mean I want to be with you right now."
With those words, you made your way to his bedroom door.
“And what was that back at the hospital when I got into the accident?” he asked before you left, “Would you rather for me to be dead or what?”
You came to a halt as his words impacted you like a punch in the gut. You turned back to face Joel, your rage returning.
"That's not fair, Joel," you replied, your voice shaking with emotion. "You know I would rather die than lose you like that".
"Then why are you so scared?" he questioned, reaching for you once more.
Tears welled up in your eyes as you struggled to fight the oncoming storm of emotions. "Because I'm not just afraid of losing you." I'm afraid I'll lose myself again. "I'm afraid of getting hurt." You let out a sigh. "You led me on back then, how can I trust you again?"
Joel took a step closer, his voice desperate. "I promise not to hurt you again, Bee." I've learned from my errors. Give us a chance to make things right."
You shook your head, unable to find the appropriate words. "Joel, I need more than promises. I need time for healing and rebuild trust. That is a process that cannot be rushed."
Joel sagged his shoulders and ran a hand through his hair, clearly distressed. "I'm at a loss for words, Bee. I love you and will do everything for you."
You took a step back, putting distance between you two. "Joel, love is more than just saying the words. It's all about showing it through actions."
You turned and walked away from Joel, leaving him with a broken heart and a need that mirrored your own.
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You had taken refuge in your own peace a week later, evaluating your alternatives in all facets of your life. What were you going to do with your work, yourself, and even Connell, since despite his assurances that he would never hate you, you own him more than you realize.
And on the opposite side, there was Joel. He had expressed his love for you, but you had learned that words are insufficient in this instance. You knew it would take time to reestablish confidence. But as time passed, you couldn't help but miss him even more than you did the first time. He had a tremendous power over you. The times you spent together, the laughter, the shared moments, and how he taught you to fall in love again.
You remembered that night at the gallery when he showed you the drawing he had made of you. When he first caressed the skin of your body, leaving his mark on you.
Deep down, you knew that love was a tricky and imperfect emotion that didn't always follow a straight line. Despite your concerns, you wished to give Joel another chance.
A knock on the door broke through your thoughts. You jumped up from the couch, cautiously approaching the door. When you opened it, you were surprised to see Lauren standing on your porch. She looked concerned, her gaze avoiding direct contact with yours.
"Lauren, what are you doing here?" "How do you know where I live?" you wondered. Your tone was a mix of surprise and curiosity.
Lauren took a big breath and looked you in the eyes. "I need to speak with you. "Can I come in?"
You hesitated for a second before stepping aside and allowing her to enter. She entered your living room and sat, her posture eager and apprehensive.
You joined her on the couch after closing the door behind her. "What's this about, Lauren?"
Lauren looked at you, her eyes searching for understanding. “I know our first encounter wasn’t friendly, and I want to apologize. I’m truly sorry for the way I acted”
Lauren's honesty in her eyes was not lost on you. You were afraid she was coming to tell you she was now with Joel, which could break your heart.
Lauren continued "And I'm really ashamed of this but I think you should forgive Joel"
You took a big breath, unsure what to say. Lauren's apologies caught you off guard, and you were at a loss for words. "I appreciate your apology, Lauren," you said after a little pause. It means a lot to me." "But Joel isn't a topic I want to discuss with you," you said timidly.
"It is," she replied. "I know you weren't together. He told me."
Your pupils dilated, and you couldn't help but feel embarrassed.
"And yes, at first I wanted to be with him," she admitted. "I wanted my family back, but it's too late now." And I have to thank Sarah for accepting me back into her life after what I did, but Joel? will never love me again."
"Why are you so sure?" you questioned, your tone tense.
"Because he has been in love since the beginning."
"The eyes, he had been looking at you with such adoration, neither I had those eyes looking at me like that."
You were out of breath, and a knot formed in your throat.
"No, that's not-"
"You love him too," she said, "and let me tell you something, the years I lost with Sarah?" I'm not going to get them back. So, if you and Joel truly love each other, don't waste more time."
Lauren's sudden comments stunned you while also leaving you conflicted. Her apology for her prior behavior was a step toward peacemaking, but her admissions regarding Joel and his sentiments caught you off guard.
You paused before responding, your mind racing, "I'm not sure I want to get hurt again."
She nodded in agreement, and he dug inside her purse for something, that turned out to be a journal.
She nodded in understanding, and then he reached for something inside her bag for something, it was a journal.
“I stole this from Joel. I think you should take a look” she laughed, giving the journal to you.
“I just don't want to see you both miss out on something beautiful because of fear or doubts. Life's too short for regrets."
You looked at her with a mixture of gratitude and uncertainty. "I need time, Lauren, to figure things out and heal. I'll consider what you've said, though. Thank you for your apology and for your concern."
Lauren smiled warmly at you “Good luck” she said.
You couldn't help but stare at the book in your hands as you saw Lauren leave your house.
The journal she had given you caught your curiosity, and you couldn't stop yourself from opening it to find out what was inside.
You started flipping the pages, knowing it was Joel's journal. The entries spanned several years ago, from the years you arrived here, and reading them made you feel touched by the depth of his feelings and the journey he had been on. The pages were crammed with his ideas, hopes, and dreams, many of which were centered on you.
Joel had written about the day you two first met and the times he had spent with you, but it was the drawings of you that grabbed your attention.
"The pretty florist next to my gallery looking at her flowers"
"The florist in her environment, framed by a floral tapestry."
"The pretty florist, a captivating muse for my brush and canvas."
All of the entries were from the last four years.
However, the most recent one, from a year ago,
"the florist who stole my heart"
And you realized Joel had been loving you long before you had feelings for him.
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a/n: Okay, so you know things may get better between them...
tags 💌: @joeldjarin @borhapparker @fatima-marisa @kirsteng42 @paleidiot @harriedandharassed @runningmom94 @pedr0swh0r3 @ssacharcoalgrey @missladym1981
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lovecolibri · 4 months
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The only thing I'm going to say about this (<- probably lying) is that it doesn't matter how Buck felt in that scene. Because Buck isn't real and doesn't actually have feelings. What DOES matter is how it comes across to the audience. And if the vast majority of the audience had an "what the fuck is this and why is it happening like this?" reaction and that was NOT the intention of the scene? Then it wasn't done well.
You should not have to come out after the episode and explain what the scene was supposed to do. If you have to, then you have failed in your job to get across to the writers, directors, and actors what the point and purpose is. And maybe you have failed to take into account what the characters are like, their trauma histories, and how the audience might react given their knowledge of the characters involved.
A lot of people never forgave tay kay for what she did to Bobby in s2, and then having Buck Begins give us this raw, vulnerable version of Buck and his childhood only to have her lash out a couple of eps later calling him "needy" and a bad friend because he asked something of her instead of just being there to give her whatever she wanted? It's no surprise fans and the general audience never got on board with that relationship. Because it wasn't good to BUCK and that's what the audience wants.
I am personally continually BAFFLED that this show gives these moments of gentle teasing and support and validation of Buck's feelings (even when he can overreact a little out of trauma response) to Eddie, and then continually put Buck in romantic relationships with people that don't even seem to LIKE him, much less adore all his quirks and the things that make him BUCK, and most importantly, the things the AUDIENCE loves about him.
It's.....it's almost like Tim isn't even trying. Because the audience isn't SUPPOSED to like these relationships for Buck. Because they aren't the right ones for him. Because we all know who is.
But also, at some point it starts getting questionable as to why the people that love him don't speak up to express concern about him staying in long term relationships with people that are not nice to him. We all know the bait-and-switch of tay kay in s4 being a FOX network call to shut down what Tim wanted to do, and then he left the show with someone who doesn't like, see, or care about Buddie (or really any of the main characters that aren't Angela to live out some revenge fantasy or Buck to live out...other fantasies). So they couldn't very well have all of the firefam desperately asking Buck if he was even happy as he wasted away in that loft all season, or even allow them to be kinda pissed he would choose to be with someone like that who nearly got Bobby killed by not telling someone immediately and interviewing him without consent, but it never sat right with me that it was all just never addressed and they had them breakup on good terms (sorry not sorry but if you think T*mmy isn't nice to Buck, tay kay was worse in every way and thats canon fact).
So I don't have super high hopes that they will address this clear and obvious disconnect with Buck and T*mmy, but considering they made a point to have nearly all their screentime revolve around Eddie, and them not meshing as a couple it would be weird NOT to. Then again, *gestures to all that rambling above*
ANYWAY
The point it, at SOME point the audience does have to be a consideration because without an audience you do not have a show. So Tim needs to shake off the last of the Lone Star cobwebs, get KR the fuck out of the writers room, and make sure his intentions for scenes are ACTUALLY what make it onto the screen, and that what is on screen is stuff that will resonate positively with the audience. Maybe he should rewatch the first 3 seasons of the show himself to get back into the groove.
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mysticalsoot · 11 months
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heaven is you (godbur au)
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first installment of my godbur au & gift to my sister &lt;3
➸ note; i wanted to finish this for @lillylvjy. lillys been a big play in why i still write and why i haven’t given up on shifting or given up on myself or this account. thanks to her i don’t impulsively delete things and i move forward. a few months ago i threw the idea of godbur at her and we talked about it and formed this character, she gives me the credit but she deserves just as much credit as i do. she’s my sister, regardless of biological attachment, she is my sister. i love her and i will protect her for as long as she’ll let me. she’s always there for me, holding me up and supporting me. if i’m upset or hurt, she’s there to listen and offer support. she also spends way more money on me than she should. and i love her, so a little note, don’t mess with her. thank you lills, i love you and enjoy this lil fic i somehow managed to finish in a day! also big thanks to @sleeby-anon for helping me pick out the photo and just helping me with this fic- tysm! you’re very cool and i love u (thank you for being a good friend to lilly :3 )
➸ pairing; godbur x gn!reader
➸ summary; after a few (actually, many) instances where you risked your life in order to reach your beloved wilbur’s world, you have a final disagreement that brings him to a few realizations and maybe some more effort to bring you want you want
➸ warning; kinda hurt but comfort at end, illusions to suicide but not flat out said, probably swearing, is there an unbalanced power dynamic? probably, uses of baby (i’m sorry i’m a sucker for it-), i think that’s it!
➸ age-rating; 15+
➸ wordcount; 2k
main masterlist
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"darling," the word rolled off wilbur's tongue with ease, like it had been spoken millions of times. perhaps it had been, but your mind was too foggy with fear and desperation to think clearly, "you can't keep doing this."
he pleads for you, hands on your shoulders and eyebrows pulling together as he looks down at you.
"what else am I supposed to do?" your voice cracks as the words flow out, and he frowns, shaking his head and looking to the side.
"live," he pauses, turning his head to face you. his grip on your shoulders tightens just a bit, "there's more to life than seeking refuge in my world. be alive, live in mortality."
he's begging you, pleading for you. he hates to see you hurt, and he hates the way his world's laws are. you can't be thrust into immortal responsibilities yet, and you can't stay long as a mortal with purpose. you have to go, but you would rather die a million more times before you accept that.
"can't you just let me stay? what's the problem in letting me be free where I want to be, with you," you're pleading with him now. on your hands and knees praying to the god before you to just let you stay. you're standing, knees going weak just a smidge. your eyes are burning from tears and your cheeks are wet with a desperation.
"I can't, I really can't," his frown deepens and he pulls you into his chest, face in his white ruffly shirt. he smells like home, but a home you can never truly have. he cups the back of your head with his hand, rubbing at your scalp with his fingertips as you sigh.
"it's the rules," a kiss to the top of your head and you want to scream and cry and bang at his chest. but you don't, you stay still in his grasp, holding your calm in your hands so tightly.
"the rules are stupid," you mumble into his shirt, he moves a hand to rub your back.
he chuckles, nodding in agreement before speaking again, "I agree, love."
days pass after he sent you back, you mulled over ways and methods you could reach him again in desperate hope he'd finally give in to your pleas and let you stay.
you were wandering the woods, pacing between trees as you tried to narrow down your plans. you could try summoning him, but it wasn't fool proof. you could try to speak to him through meditation, but he sometimes ignored you 'for your sake'.
you weren't sure what would work, and you were kicking yourself for not knowing. but also for the doubts that filled your mind. what if he kicked you out again? told you to never see him again and made sure you couldn't? what if he forced you to live out your mortality purely out of his anger at you. what if he was angry?
you sigh, resting your head against the tree, sighing as you screw your eyes shut, banging your fist against the bark before stepping back.
"what more do you want?" you beckon up at the sky, he's not listening, you're sure of it but you need to be angry at something, somewhere. it's unfair.
"for you to listen," his voice mumbles in your mind and you scoff, shaking your head as the memory of his accent echoes in your mind.
"yeah well, you don't have the best ideas, now do you?"
"y/n.." he murmurs, his tone a gentle warning to you so you don't say something you'll regret. or do something, for that matter.
"wilbur," you copy his tone, mocking it almost before you groan, falling to sit on the ground.
"you know you can't do this, you know that," you can hear the strain in his voice, the way he draws it out and softens it just to reach out to you and make amends for it.
"but what else am I meant to do?" you want to scream at the top of your lungs, cry to him and bitch about the situation you're in. how you're continually denied what you want. you thought you proved yourself, you thought you proved that you could handle immortality. that you could handle him.
it's silent, not a sound is made around you or even echoed in your mind. you wondered if his methods of communication were a curse or a blessing. it felt more like a curse at the moment. it felt like a taunt to you, how powerless you felt down on earth, in morality. you felt so out of control, like a puppet. and maybe wilbur was the puppeteer, but who’s to say it wasn’t someone else? maybe he was just an illusion, a hallucination that controlled your motives and thoughts simply by the prospect of maybe having some hope to grasp onto. a nice, soft candle in the middle of a dark and empty room.
he was the light you couldn’t quite reach.
he finally speaks up, his tone rushed and worried, but his words keep you from second guessing it, “i have an idea.”
“what?” you mumble, nearly tripping over the single word.
“you want to stay with me, yes?” he sounds almost frustrated for a moment before sighing almost exasperated.
“yes, yes, that’s what i’ve been saying. you never listen-“
wilbur cuts you off, “i listen, i promise. okay? i listen to you, now, listen to me for a second, okay baby?”
you ponder for a moment before giving in, “fine.”
“i’ll let you come back, under a few conditions,” you wait a moment, giving him time to list his conditions but he doesn’t seem to budge on his own.
“and what are those?” you fold your arms over your chest, huffing as you imagine wilbur pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing at you.
“i’ll tell you when you get here, okay?” he pauses, sand surprisingly you can hear the hesitation almost as if he were there with you and not just speaking through your mind, “there’s a tree-“
“a tree? wow, so fancy,” your annoyance bubbling up at the way he wasn’t being direct.
he warns you again, a whispering of your name to keep you in line before he continues, “there’s a tree a few minutes in front of you, there will be lilliums around the base and a circle door in the middle. it’ll take you here, no need to do what you normally do, okay? please just, don’t do something stupid and get up here, okay?”
you take a moment before answering, wondering if you want to believe him or ignore him at the moment, “okay, fine.”
you wait a few minutes, making sure he doesn’t have anything more to say before standing up and beginning the walk over to the tree. it feels stupid, how hopeful you are and how confident you feel over walking to a damn tree as if it’ll fix your biggest qualm with the way your god’s world works. you stop short, maybe a good eight feet from the base of the tree, your eyes dancing around and staring at the lilly flowers lining the base and spreading over the roots. you play with the idea of turning around and walking back, abandoning him and any loyalty you had to him. but then you look back at the trunk before you and sigh, giving in and stepping back towards it. your fingers reach out to grasp the hook on the corner, pulling it back and crawling in, not without doubts of course but you aren’t sure what you have to lose.
you pull the door back to close it and turn around, darkness encompassing your whole being as you feel a sort of light feeling take over your senses. are you dreaming? it doesn’t feel like a dream, but it seems like one. are you real? is this real?
your thoughts shut off, cut like a guillotine, but the blade being the darkness and silence. you no longer felt anything but a void, and then you began to feel warm fabric, and then a whiff of cologne hit your nose and then you were finally able to open your eyes.
“i see you’re awake?” you peek up, rubbing your eyes as you take in your surroundings, eyes catching on the familiar figure of wilbur, sitting in a reading chair in the corner of his bedroom. you’ve been here before, you’ve slept in this bed but now it feels different. it’s a good different, but it isn’t the same.
“i am now,” you pause, tossing the covers over and off your legs as you sit up against the ornate headboard, gazing over at him as he meets your eyes and sets down his journal, “what happened?”
“i convinced myself that i could manage switching your role to immortal,” he sighs, moving his gaze to the floor as he chews his lip, mind reeling as he lists off all the rules he broke just to bring his love into his life.
“mm, was it paperwork that kept you from it?” you chuckle, much too happy at the moment to even think of how angry you were and still are at him.
“no,” he chuckles dryly, shaking his head, “it was.. more serious than that but that’s no talk for now. how are you feeling, love?” he stands from his chair, finding a spot on the edge of the bed by your feet and resting his hands on your legs.
“i couldn’t be more tired, what the hell happened? how did i get here?” you murmur, rubbing your eyes as you take note of the pulsing ache at your temples.
“i guided you through a dream, to get here, and once you reached this world, i switched some things around in your file,” he squeezes your calf, his eyes staring at the wall for a good minute before meeting your gaze.
“so that means…?”
“you’re immortal and no longer have any ties with your old world, you’re mine now, just the way you wanted,” he sighs, lifting your legs to lay over his lap as he reaches over and kisses your forehead. there’s a sort of calmness about him that you’ve yet to see until now. you never knew such peace could exist in him.
“i’ll answer any question you have.” you nod to him, acknowledging his offer but not knowing where to start,
you have too many questions to even verbalize, or let alone ask, and the growing headache isn’t helping either. so after a moment’s contemplation, you decide to let the piles questions take a rest while you enjoy your wilbur’s company.
you lean forward and kiss his cheek once, and you watch as a gentle rosiness floods the pale skin that he adorns and his lips curl up in a smile.
“how about we have a day to ourselves and celebrate?” you suggest, grabbing his hand to play with his fingers, chewing on your lip as you keep your eyes down.
“okay, as long as you promise to ask questions later?” he tilts your head up by your chin, a loving care in his eyes.
“promise,” you smile, kissing the tip of his nose before continuing and jumping off the bed, “now show me that pretty garden you have, yeah?”
he smiles, standing up and meeting you where you stand. he leans down, hands resting on your cheeks with giggles escaping his lips at your excitement, “may i kiss you first?”
“yes, sir you may,” your fingers wrap around his waist as he brings his lips to yours, smiling softly as your mouths move in sync. a moments pass before you both need air and you pull back, moving to tug on his hand, “now come on! show me the lilliums!”
he leads you out to the garden, smiling the whole way as he can’t help but to think how grateful he is that he broke a few rules and let heaven be you.
taglist; @lcvejoy @lillylvjy @ella-fella-bo-bella @lotusanonymouse @willgoldszn @whos-nicooo @zebonos
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Pairing(s): Jasper Hale x Vampire!Reader, Edward Cullen x Bella Swan
Warnings: platonic Alice x Jasper, magic wielding vampire, no nahuel, alice can't see renesmee's future
Words:6,000+
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"Tell me another story, cowboy." You impishly grin over to the man laying next to you. Your mate.
Really, there was no need for a bed in your room considering you never used it for actual sleep. That was beyond the both of you.
Jasper's smile is dashing against the flicker of your candles. His fingers are dancing over your shoulder and down your arm. "For someone who has lived for thousands of years, I'd figure you'd heard better stories."
You roll your eyes, kissing the plane of his chest. "This is the first time I've cared about the main character in those stories." It was true. Never had you cared about anyone as much as you did for Jasper. You just had to wait several centuries to meet the right one.
Through those years you'd taken many companions as well as turned many good friends and students. Even the oldest known vampires of the Volturi originate from your fangs. One would be lucky enough to boast that they were made by you. That meant something great in the known vampire community. Some even whispered that you were one of the first vampires in creation. You never spoke of your own origins. You told Jasper those were the dark ages of your life and were still not ready to go back to that time.
And for you to be even slightly interested in a young one like Jasper constantly confounds him. You ate up everything he told you, titillated by battle after battle that he won for Maria. Hanging on his every word with a sort of wide eyed innocence that was rare for their kind.
That's what he remembers (and misses) most about you. As much as the both of you loved one another, you couldn't stay in one place for too long. Jasper understood though both of you wish to see one another more often. As powerful as you were, it was something that neither of you could risk. Other vampires could sniff you out within moments. Not to mention you hadn't always necessarily been a nice vampire. One out of ten vampires was said to have a beef with you. It wasn't your safety that had you constantly roaming the world, it was the safety of the human world around you. Any city you were in could be preyed upon immediately by stray vamps who followed your scent.
Distance would never dampen the love you have for each other.
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"I understand if you don't want to come-" Jasper has his phone pressed up against his ear and shoulder as he's shoving papers and folders into his backpack and other items he may need on his journey to South America. There were a few covens there that hey hoped to enlist as help.
"Oh hush Jasper. Of course I'll be there. Both Bella and Renesmee are family. I'll make up for lost time." His stomach warms when he can hear the smile on your lips through the phone speaker "And I think once Caius sees me, he'll convince the others to back down."
That's what the Cullens were banking on with asking you to come and defend your adoptive niece. After all, you were the progenitor of many of the vampires in existence today. Some way or another, they all were sired from your venom. Including Caius. He's been the most doting of your acolytes even if it did tend to cause a rift with the other two leaders of the Volturi. Marcus in particular since you'd defeated him several times throughout the centuries.
Off to the side of the room, Alice rolls her eyes. "See, I told you she'd be down!" She grabs Jasper's phone, monopolizing the call now. "He was worried that he'd be imposing too much on you. I told him that of course you'd help!"
Your laugh on the other end rings loud in his ears as he watches Alice cradle the phone to the side of her face. "You know how he is. My gentleman cowboy." Alice really did enjoy when the both of you ganged up on Jasper to embarrass him. It was delicious to watch him get flustered for once.
Having enough, Jasper snatches back his phone. "Alice and I are heading out soon. I don't know how long we'll be. . ."
"Don't worry. I have my house key. Relax, Jaz. Everything will be okay." If only the one power you did possess was Jasper's ability to control other's emotions, you would use it to calm him. "You two be careful and look out for one another. I'll be there."
God did he want to kiss you. To take you in his arms and let you reassure him in that way only you could. "Yes, ma'am. I love you."
"I love you too." Your voice lowers to a warm whisper.
When the call ends, Jasper stares at his black home screen. He takes a deep breath and shoves it inside his back pocket. Missing you wasn't going to aid him in any way at the moment.
In the background he vaguely makes out Alice's excited chatter, excitement raised her octave.
"I can't wait for Bella and Renesmee to meet her!"
"They're going to adore her."
"Don't you think Jasper?"
"Jasper?"
She actually had to reach out to him and give a small nudge with her index and middle finger. His head whips to her, finally catching his attention.
"Sorry." He mutters having heard none of Alice's rambling.
"You heard her. Why are you so worried? You know that she won't let anything bad happen. The Volturi would be stupid to initiate a fight with her here." She sets aside her own bag she'd been working on and crosses her arms in front of her chest. "We have to pull out our big gun."
"I hate of thinking of her like that. She's been everyone's big gun for centuries." Jasper just sighs and sits down on the edge of the couch, fingers digging into the upholstery. Esme won't be happy when she finds small nail marks in it.
Alice eyes him for a moment before pointing out "You know she'd do a lot more for you if you let her. To her, this is small peanuts." A new thought abruplty comes to her mind as she changes the subject. "You remembered to get those documents for Bella, right?"
In reply, his eyes dart to the manila envelope that lay on his desk. Alice's gaze follows to where Jasper's eyes had fallen. The envelope he'd obtained from J. Jenks. It was to be used under the worst case scenario.
"I hope Bella doesn't have to use it." He admits, hauling his backpack over his shoulders.
Try as she might, Alice couldn't force a vision that involved the outcome of the Volturi's visit. Couldn't even see Jasper's mate. But Alice trusted you, more than any other member of the Cullen coven. She knew you'd pull through, even without the use of her powers, she knew you would not let your family be threatened, even if you had yet to meet the two newest members.
You were forced to miss the wedding of Edward and Bella due to. . . circumstances. Regardless, you had sent them a present accompanied by a letter of congratulations. What better way to meet your sister-in-law and niece than by intervening on their behalf and chasing off the Volturi?
When you'd hung up from talking to Jasper and Alice, you tap the phone against your chin in thought. The room you'd been renting out was lit only by moonlight from outside. This way of living did get awfully lonely. You spoke to your family as often as you could. Visiting every five years at the very least. Thus was the solitary life of an ancient. You'd forgotten much of your early life, couldn't remember if you'd ever been human. There's a slim chance at that. The furthest back you could remember was a world of darkness and other screeching creatures. A small recollection that you'd once had inhuman body. But it felt like a dream, maybe another life completely.
In your long, long life, never did you have anything resembling a family. You were always alone with blood filled thoughts and the feeling you got when you shattered pathetic armies of men.
You changed accordingly as the world evolved as well. The forming of countries. The fall of them. From huts to skyscrapers. You found it almost appallingly easy to get victims if you were already assimilated into their society. They would have no clue of the real monster you were. Not until it was too late.
Then on a whim and also after hearing the bloodshed going on in the states, you met Maria and Jasper. She was pleading her case for revenge against the Volturi and had felt your presence in the vicinity. You'd heard that your scent was unmistakeable.
When you asked Jasper what your scent smelled like, he'd tried his best. "It's the essence of power, my love. There's a deep, heady richness to it. As if it has been steeped in the secrets of the universe. A haunting presence that clings to one's senses."
What would that even smell like? You'd wondered. When you sniffed your arm, all you smelled was the faint kiss of juniper berries.
Maria proposed the take down of the Volturi and how easily it could be done with you. She hadn't anticipated your hesitation. While you didn't agree with the massive coven, you would never go out of your way to meddle with their business. After all, Caius was your fledgling. The very first. Of course you'd be sentimental over him. Sharing your venom was not something to take lightly, at least that's what you thought.
And you doubted Maria's ability of warfare compared to the trio that ruled the Volturi. Her army of newborns was impressive without a doubt, but she was still young herself. You, Marcus, Caius and Aro were overwhelmingly more experienced.
Jasper was just an infant compared to the millenia you've lived or even the hundreds of years Maria may have been alive during. Yet he makes you feel. . . entirely new. Makes you feel something you'd never felt even toward another vampire.
Having never experienced it before, even you knew what it was you were feeling: love. Love at first sight. Quite pathetic but, alas, you have no control over your own emotions. Annoying, but you let yourself fall into it. Titillated by everything you felt when around Jasper Whitlock. Never had you felt so alive. Each kiss, each caress sent flames across your skin. You never knew how dead you'd really been. While you had the face and body of youth, you don't recall a moment where you felt like how you looked now.
You met him during a time where even Jasper was feeling depressed about his immortal life. He was tired of living the way Maria did. Nothing satisfied him. Until he saw you. It was like his heart started beating (but of course that was impossible). Even if she wanted to, Maria didn't fight against it when Jasper told her he was leaving her coven to be with you.
He's been the only one to see the magic you could do without it being stemmed from violence. Real, arcane magic. You'd briefly mentioned the wars you'd been able to win. The amount of people you'd slain. That didn't deter him. That didn't define you.
This is the one battle you would win for love.
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Everyone was gathered in the near blinding snow capped surroundings. All except for you. Wolves and the Cullens on one side, black clad Volturi on the other. No one dares to make the first move. All looked to the coven leader, Carlisle, to do the greetings.
He looks to his adopted granddaughter, his family that he built and would do anything to protect. Renesmee beams up at him with apprehensive, big eyes.
Carlisle moves forward, his feet leaving prints in the snow. Aro's skin would have made him blend easily in the blurring snow were it not for his red eyes and black attire. His immortal, handsome face smiles when Aro greets Carlisle.
"Aro, Iet us discuss things as we used to. In a civilized manner." Proposes Carlisle. Hopefully he can take up enough time until you show up.
A dark brow raises on Aro's face. "Fair words, Carlisle. But a little out of place, given the battalion you've assembled against us." His eyes move from Carlisle and scan to behind him where several vampire covens and a pack of wolves wait for the signal to take action.
"I can promise you, that was never my intent. No laws have been broken." True, though the wolves may be a sticky subject to broach. Aro appeared more concerned about the little girl whose eyes bore into the Volturi leader.
Caius' lips curls in disdain. "We see the child. Do not treat us as fools."
"She is not an immortal." Carlisle counters, his arm opening wide to gesture to the Cullens' own army. "These witnesses can attest to that. Or you can look. See the flush of human blood in her cheeks."
While it hadn't been a particularly sunny day, everyone on the frozen field found themselves abruptly bathed in darkness. Above, the clouds had darkened and congregated thickly together. Still, they were able to make out a black shadow among the clouds. Many are left guessing but only Caius and Jasper knew what (or who) it was. Caius' eyes sparkle in veneration as he intently watches his creator break past the clouds with large bat-like wings. You must appear as some twisted angel the way you slowly descend to the ground, landing next to Carlisle.
His smile is bright and screaming relief. "Sorry I'm late." You apologize first to Carlisle.
Jasper catches the flick of your eyes toward him and finally he feels his face release from tension. He takes one step before Alice stops him. While everyone is happy to see you, this was a dangerous environment right now. If Jasper were to suddenly move and go to you, the Volturi might mistake it as an aggressive attack. Best to stay still and watch you take care of everything.
Renesmee grips her mother's leg. Her touch sends her thoughts straight to Bella. "Is she my aunt?"
Bella gapes in shock as your wings appear to shrink until they recoil and disappear completely. Edward had told her you were. . . quite old. Older than any other vampire out there. and that you possessed powers beyond her comprehension.
Stiffly she nods her head at Renesmee.
"Better late than never. It's good to see you." Carlisle pats you on the shoulder.
Before you'd landed, you'd already registered both sides of the battle. You counted how many each had, reveling in the marvel of the massive wolves that stood alongside the covens on the Cullens' side. And you'd seen the girl that was your niece. A unique thing she was. Even from high up in the sky you could see her veins filled with blood coursing inside of her. She was more human than vampire.
The breathy whisper of your name has you turning around to finally look at the Volturi's side. Despite Aro being leader, it was Caius who had called out to you. He always did have a beautifully bright smile whenever he gazed at you. Utterly devoted to his mistress.
You hadn't seen him for near three hundred years. His duties to the Volturi clashed with your values. There was no ill will between either of you though. "Caius. How unfortunate we have to see one another under these circumstances."
"So you know what's going on." Aro tensely holds a grin when he speaks to you. Like you were a ticking time bomb that had to be dealt with carefully. Behind him you didn't miss Marcus who shoots you a glare. He's tasted defeat by you before. It rose up once more in his mouth, bitter.
You casually nod. "I do. The very instant I saw the child, even I knew her to be of mix blood. Can you not smell the blood circulating in her?" Throwing them a condescending smile you continue "But if you truly need proof that she is not an immortal, then read her thoughts."
That had been the Cullen's plans all along. To have Renesmee explain for herself through her thoughts and memories.
Bella didn't like the idea of Renesmee going up to the Volturi by herself. Even worse was the thought that Aro had to actually touch her in order to read her mind. You could smell her apprehension and turn your back on the Volturi to go over to the Cullen's end. You take note of the Romanian vampires shying away from you. You give the members of your family quick embraces before you're brought to where Bella has a protective hand on Renesmee's shoulder. On the girl's other side was a massive rust furred wolf that snarls at you.
You carefully go down to your knees so you could properly address her. "Hi Renesmee. It's nice to finally meet you." Your voice is soft, expression gentle that didn't bely the deadly predator that you could be. Introducing yourself, Renesmee smiles at you; reaching her hand out so that she can introduce herself in her own way. You let her small hand fall upon your cheek and you're pulled into her thoughts.
Happiness.
Curiosity.
Nervousness.
She was aware all of this was her fault. That if the Volturi didn't believe her, so many people she cared about would be killed.
Covering her hand with your larger one, you give her your promise. She smiles knowing it to be true. You drop her hand and stand back up to look at Bella. "Would it be alright if I walk her over?"
Of course you knew that even though you were a Cullen, you were still a stranger. Ridiculous that she was expected to trust you with her child.
But Renesmee touches Bella's hand now. Renesmee trusts you. Bella chews on her bottom lips before relenting. She turns to the wolf. "You should probably stay here, Jake."
Fearlessly, Renesmee walks hand in hand with you to the other end. "Your wings are pretty." The child's thoughts ring in your head.
You tenderly smile at her. "Thank you. Once this is done, I'll take you flying if you want."
Murmurs ripple through the members and witnesses of the Volturi once you present Renesmee to Aro, your protective hand still holding onto Renesmee's. "Well Aro, you want a firsthand recount to her creation. Here she is. Renesmee, why don't you show Aro what you showed me."
Impressed by her fearlessness when Renesmee offers him a smile. Her voice is small but doesn't squeak. "Hello, Aro." Aro offers her his hand but instead Renesmee motions for him to crouch down so she could touch his cheek. The moment her fingers lay against the white flesh, you notice Aro's eyes grow distant.
Then he starts to delightfully. "Magnifico! Half mortal, half immortal. Conceived and carried by this newborn while she was still human." You'd never seen such a sparkle in his red eyes as he now takes in Renesmee for who she truly is. Not a monster that they had feared but just a special little girl.
Behind him though, there were unsatisfied grimaces and wary, darting eyes. This has you inching closer to your niece.
"It's unheard of!" Caius shrieks.
"There are many strange things in this world, Caius. You should know that by now." You patiently tell him. He relaxes at your words, happy enough that his mistress doesn't seem too bothered by this advancement. "Creatures of the deep. Those that lurk in shadows much like us." You momentarily inhale the air, smelling the wolves. "And those who are not what they seem."
While Caius is all too ready to accept the defeat and have the army stand down, Marcus snaps his fingers with the only instruction of "Bring the informer forward."
Ah yes, Irina. You'd met her once, maybe twice. Her expression is dour. If it were possible, she looked even more pale. She didn't have the golden eyes like those on a vegetarian diet. They were pitch black showing that she'd refrained from eating. Irina doesn't meet your gaze, she keeps her eyes gawking at Renesmee before she trains them down to her feet.
Confused by the tension she was feeling from Irina's guilty features, Renesmee sidles up to you; her hands gripping at your warm yarn coat that was just for looks.
"Is that the child you saw?" Marcus inquires.
Her nerves are impossible to conceal in her voice. "I'm not sure. . ."
"That's enough, Marcus. Renesmee's parentage has been cleared." You snap partially to save Irina any further embarrassment. Aro shoots you a look that tells you he didn't appreciate you undermining his authority. "None of your precious laws have been broken here."
Irina's fretful eyes do not lighten up. She knew the mistake she made. While you were more lenient nowadays, the Volturi would not appreciate being made a fool of like this. You could hear the small feet of Jane move as she anticipates the command from her leaders to get rid of Irina. You're fast to correct her with a hiss and baring your teeth. They weren't razor straight like the vampires of today. Your cuspids and lateral incisors were elongated and extremely sharp. Jane's eyes widen in alarm and she teeters on her next step before returning to her brother's side with a scornful glare. As much as she wished, her powers had no affect on you. Maybe in another thousand years Jane would be strong enough to subjugate you with her power. But until then she was but a baby.
Boldly you move toward Irina. While the other Volturi members twitch to move against you, one glare from you was enough to freeze them. Fury simmering in his gaze as he doesn't take his eyes off of you. Gently you take her by the arm. She shoots the Volturi scared looks but ultimately is pulled by you to Carlisle. Before removing your hand from her though, you force her to look you in the eyes.
"You will repent for what you have done. Beg forgiveness from the Cullens." Your whisper is a low one, but harshly hissed as you say it to her. "And remember this, Irina, if you pull a stunt like this again or anything that would betray the Cullens there is no place on this planet for you to hide. I'll give you the most excruciating death that I haven't dealt to anyone in a millennia."
Her throat bobs nervously, unable to rip her gaze from you out of fear. She stiffly nods, understanding that you'd have your eye on her for the rest of her immortal life. Carlisle gets her behind him.
Seeing that she was secured, you move on to your next point of business. "Irina has made a mistake, that is true, but no harm has been done. Whatever damage she's done was more so toward our family's trust in her. That is something we, as a family, will deal with." You nudge Renesmee towards Carlisle and motion with your head for the two of them to return to the Cullen's side of the field. Renesmee tugs a bit in resistance, not wanting to leave you. You pat her on the head as she passes to go with Carlisle. You don't take your eyes off of Aro.
Aro hates how he finds himself flinching a little bit when you consciously oppress him with your superior aura. All of the black clothed figures behind him shiver as well. "We don't know what she will become. The child is sweet and innocent right now. But she is the first known hybrid in creation. We don't know what will happen unless Alice has seen it."
Alice steps up. "It's hard to see the future of Renesmee. Even I cannot see." She'd tried many times to the point of giving herself a raging headache. The girl's fate was too intertwined with the wolves.
Her failure encourages Aro in his argument, you could see his mouth forming a smile that didn't meet his eery, scarlet eyes.
"Then I shall watch over her." The falling of Aro's face is priceless. "Who better to take care of an unknown variable than her very own aunt?" This was to be a discussion with her parents after the Volturi left. But you honestly thought that Renesmee traveling with you was the best option right now. At least until you're certain that she really would do no harm to humans. And she was the first interesting thing to happen to you since you met Jasper.
"You would make her a sanguinovite?" Caius breathes out, eyes jerking from you to Renesmee. Caius and Renesmee would be considered bonded via you as Caius was your apprentice by blood.
"I do."
Caius' shoulders slump. He was forbidden from causing harm against Renesmee.
But that didn't stop Aro or Marcus.
"Let us confer. We will use the facts that we have gathered." Wanting to keep some semblance of authority, Aro doesn't wait to hear your reply as he turns his back to you. At least Caius had enough piety to give you a quick bow before following the other two. Their wives linger behind them with guards encircling around them. Athenodora, Caius' wife, offers you a fleeting smile before whipping her head back at the tug of Sulpicia.
Sighing at the petulant child that Aro was, you walk back to your family who was anxiously waiting. The Denali coven are more concerned with making sure Irina was okay as they fret around her. You catch Tanya scolding her sister with a watery, relieved voice.
Jasper comes up to you and immediately you let go of your big bad vampire facade and melt into his embrace. You cling to him, fingers bunching up the back of his shirt. You allow the soothing of his power to wash over you. "I'm sorry I was late."
He chuckles against the crown of your head, pressing his lips against your temple. "It doesn't matter. You're here." His arms tighten around you.
"I missed you dearly." You whisper against his chest.
"And I you." His nose nuzzles against my face, coaxing a kiss from me.
He'd barely pressed his lips against mine before Edward is clearing his throat. Reminding you and Jasper to keep it cool as there was a child staring at you with large eyes.
Seeing that she has your attention, Renesmee immediately asks "Do you think it worked? Will they go now?"
"They'd be foolish not to." You smile at her.
"Hey, about what you said-" Edward starts but you were already ready to be confronted about the claim you made over Renesmee.
"I know. I should have talked it over with you first and gotten your permission. I'm sorry about that. But it was the only thing I could think to say to prevent violence." You explain.
Bella hooks her arm through Edward's and leans in to him, listening. She was still wary around you. Your scent probably didn't help either. It tend to aggravate other vampires.
Edward sighs, patting Bella's hand softly. "Thank you, by the way. For everything you're doing. I. . . We'll talk about Renesmee being your sanguinovite later. Would you really?"
"Of course I would. I know I haven't been around, but that doesn't mean I love my family any less. You and the rest of the Cullens have been my first and only family. When I married Jasper, I vowed to protect him. Then when we joined you and Carlisle, I promised to defend all that were in our coven for we are all family now." Family. . . Family had never meant anything to you before them. Really, they could tell you to annihilate any coven that threatened them and you would do so without hesitation. They didn't know the extent you would go to assure their security.
He swallows back the emotions that were surfacing across his pale features. "We are all family." Edward whispers, a choke in his tone.
"YOU CAN'T DO THIS! I REFUSE TO BE PART OF THIS!!"
Caius' voice was ear piercing across the frozen expanse of the land. It draws everyone's attention to the opposing side.
That didn't bode well.
Edward hisses something that you don't catch. You're already stomping over to the halfway mark that both had used before.
Don't be fucking stupid Aro. Don't do it. Your mind screams out. If only Aro had the telepathy that Edward did. Don't make me hurt all of you.
A few yards away, Caius and Athenodora are running to you but he's being hounded by fast, Volturi guards.
"CAIUS!!!" Voice booming and ice underneath you shattering completely, you feel your wings shoot from your back and take to the air.
Your ears ring by the velocity you shoot across to get to your first vampire creation. Veins running searingly hot, your eyes glow with an intensity that matches the strength of your magic. It shook the trees that surrounded the glade, shaking the ice until there were splintering cracks surfacing and splitting the ice as you summoned your magic that had defeated many armies before.
The ice around Caius sharply pierces upward, piercing the Volturi guards that were trying to capture him and Athenodora. Dozens of jagged icicles arise from the ground to form a barrier against them.
Through the opening above the barricade, you swoop down and grab Caius and Athenodora. When bolting back into the sky above you could see that your actions had surprised both sides. No one moved an inch for a moment. Not until Aro starts shouting, condemning you as a apostate. That's when the spell cast on both sides was broken and all hell broke loose.
Not wanting to stop, you drop both of them off as close to the Cullen's side as possible. Caius knew he'd have to get out of there the moment his feet hit the ground. It wasn't safe for them here. Not anymore.
Performing a swift u-turn, you're faster than the Cullen horde advancing on the Volturi.
A twitch of your fingers was all you needed to summon half of your power. You call forth the creatures feared by wraiths. The shadows twisted and turned, forming monstrous specters that rose from the ground. Both sides come to a crashing halt at the creatures that were clawing their way from the earth. They glomp on to the nearest Volturi member, their touch much like Jane's power to cause immediate pain. Howls and shrieks erupt from the Volturis, enough to keep the Cullen side at bay. They watch with horrified awe.
Your magic has always been an ancient and violent one. Primal and raw.
A long dead language flows past your lips. The syllables were not ones humans could pronounce. Wraiths grab not just Aro, but the others who possessed special powers that have aided the Volturi in their quest for domination. They're brought forth to you. None are able to use their unique abilities. Not under your suffocating aura that rendered them immobile.
I should have done this a long time ago. You think to yourself. But you're Caius was involved with them. That was really why you kept your opinions about the Volturi to yourself. But now they were an immediate threat to those you care about.
All of them are lined up in front of you, the others being held back by their own wraith captors.
You stare them down ruthlessly, you could feel your form shifting a little to resemble even a sliver of your original form. The rest of your teeth sharpen and form into fine points. Talons larger than any predatory bird out there replace your small, human fingers.
"I was hoping you'd be wiser than this, children." Your voice isn't your's. It belongs to a dark god from a time before humanity was as civilized as it was.
You can taste Aro and Marcus' fear. Tangy but enjoyable to your palate. A taste you miss. You extend your clawed hand toward the Volturi leaders, curved claws glowing with a faint, otherworldly light. One by one, you focus your attention on those that were pushed down to their knees. Each one had used their power to benefit the Volturi. To cast terror among those who refused to bend to their will.
Jane is snarling at you, trying her best to use her pain waves against you but she was as powerless as her brother beside her. Demetri, Renata, even Chelsea were all present.
You rip their powers from them, strip their core of what made them special. Their bodies jerk from your magic penetrating them. Many struggle to no avail. Like pulling an anchor from the depths of the sea, you give a good tug with your claws. Spheres of light that were the embodiment of their abilities. Weakly, Aro attempts to reach for his as it floats from his chest toward you.
Collecting them all, you fuse them together with more ancient words until their combined abilities were formed into an ornate necklace.
You stare at them, useless husks of what they once were. "Do you still wish to continue with your attack?"
They're panting from the pain of a part of themselves being ripped out of them. The other members who were standing in as mere witnesses are already scurrying, getting out of their before your mercy ran out.
"You-" Aro hisses out, clutching at his abdomen.
Teasingly you dangle the necklace in front of all of them. "I suggest all of you go back to your lair. There is no way any of you are getting your powers back any time soon. Trust me, this is me showing kindness that none of you deserve. Let this be a firm reminder to you, that all members of my family are off limits. Know your place."
Aro and Marcus seethe but know the threat behind your words. They were lucky to be leaving with their lives intact.
"Be gone." You growl. "I don't want to have to deal with you again. And if Caius does decide to return to your guild for whatever reason, you are to treat him with nothing but polite civility."
If his looks could actually kill, you were sure Aro would have smite you down in that instant. Alas, he's as weak as any normal vampire now.
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"For me?" Renesmee smiles, bewitched by the necklace you offer her.
Everyone was back at the Cullen residence. Some of the other covens, seeing that the conflict was over, went back to their individual countries. The Denali coven were all congregated upstairs while the Cullens were in the living room.
"Who better to have their powers than you?" You place it in her small palms. "You can be the one to decide whether the Volturi are worthy enough to have their powers back."
"That's amazing." Bella breathes, admiring the necklace gifted to her daughter. "All their powers are in there?"
You nod. "Yup. It's a spell I picked up from the Mycenaeans. A little after I'd turned Caius. A fate worse than death for many vampires. As long as you have this, I don't think they'll be causing you any problems. Protect it and keep it safe, Renesmee."
She looks up at you, a worshipper gazing up at their god. "I will."
Standing up, you turn to your mate. "Shall we retire?"
Jasper had been patiently waiting all day to have some alone time with you. Now that the chaos was subsiding, it was the perfect opportunity.
He eagerly takes your hand, making Alice giggle, and the both of you bolt up the stairs to where Jasper's room was. Well, it was your shared room honestly. There were many of your possessions there. Paintings, little bobbles/souvenirs, an authentic Persian rug that you won from a sultan. A lot of your clothes were still hung or folded neatly in the wardrobe.
His pupils are blown out when he looks at you, a black dime cradled in a blanket of gold. "You never cease to amaze me." Hands on either side of your face, he kisses you deeply to further show his devotion. Between kisses, he gasps out praise for your strength, for the power that flowed in you.
You squeal out a giggle, something your enemies would gawk at. You always felt so young when Jasper gathered you up in his arms to transfer you to the bed.
Jasper hovers over you, his blonde hair dangling on either side of his face.
You grin. "Come here, cowboy."
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deansapplepie · 1 year
Text
Till THE DEAD do us part | Chapter 1
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A/N: This story will take place in all the seasons, but it’s not exactly a rewriting cause I’d have to re-watch everything to use the exactly lines of the characters, also I think it’s better if I tell a side story without changing the main facts of the story. I’m not good with synopses, so sorry about that.
This story has a Female Reader, but I don’t describe her appearance, so anyone can identify with her.
Summary: Y/N Grimes is Rick’s younger sister, when the world ended she had Lori, Carl and Shane. But did she really have them? Her brother was dead, her sister-in-law was sleeping with her brother’s best friend and her nephew was just a small kid. She had him, Daryl Dixon was no knight in a shining armor and she was no damsel in distress, but maybe they were exactly what each other needed.
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*gif is not mine, credits on the gif.
Chapter 1: Vulnerable
Summary: Y/N sees something she wasn’t supposed to see, she need to vent about it but she can’t do it with Lori or Shane, because they are the main reason about it. So she goes to the woods hoping to find some peace.
Warnings: mentions of sex, swearing, kinda angsty, a little bit of fluffy, comfort, mentions of death, mentions of violence
Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Grimes!Reader
Word Count: 2,072
Extra notes: I proofread the text, but English is not my first language, so feel free to correct any mistakes, of course with a lot of love.
Chapter 2
It was again one more boiling hot day in the Quarry near Atlanta, you thought the temperature would for sure kill you, but there was another thing threatening to take your life and it wasn’t a Zombie.
Before everything, before the world ended, life wasn’t easy. You wanted it to be, but you were living one of the worst moments of your life. You had just lost your job as a vet because you couldn’t save a rich man’s cat and he demanded that you were fired. You felt bad for the poor cat, for your lost job, for your name as a professional that was now forever marked and also for your dog a female German Shepherd called Luna that had to see you not acting like your usual self.
On top of that your older brother, Rick, got shot working… he was a Sheriff’s Deputy. That’s what made you stop feeling sorry for yourself, because you couldn’t. You needed to see your brother laying on a hospital bed in comma, you had to hold things together and take care of Carl and Lori.
Lori and Carl had you, but you had no one, Carl was just a kid and Lori couldn’t even take care of herself at the moment. There was Shane, he was like a brother to you, but even with him there… it was as if you were alone. You just had Luna.
You went to their house and stayed there, you were going to stay until Rick got better, yes, he was going to get better and you would stay just a little bit more to help during his recovery, and everything was going to be fine again. But it never was. The world ended. The dead were walking as if they were alive and Rick died.
Now you lived in a Quarry with Lori, Carl, Shane and a bunch of other survivors. Most of people were pleasant and easy to live with, the exception was Ed, Carol’s husband and Merle Dixon, Daryl’s brother, but this was the apocalypse and you don’t have much choice on the people that are going to be around you.
It had been almost two months since everything happened and the camp was created, almost two months your brother had died… and today, while you were picking some wood, you saw something that felt as if someone was pulling your guts out of your stomach and squeezing your heart.
Lori and Shane. Not Lori and Shane friendly doing what they usually do, they were in the middle of the forest, fucking, and there was no other word you’d use to describe it other than fucking. There wasn’t even two months Rick died, and his best friend and wife were fucking.
You felt nauseated, you went back the same direction you came and knew you had to do something to calm down. You couldn’t afford causing an scene or any uncomfortable situation, you could not hurt Carl.
“Hey! Aunt Y/N, did you already pick all the woods?” Carl shouted to you from the spot he was, playing with Sophia and Luna, Carol watching them.
“Er… wood wasn’t good that side, I’m going to the other side see if I find anything better.” You gave a lame excuse, you just wanted to be alone, cry all this shit out, in silence cause you didn’t want anyone to know and you didn’t want to attract any walkers near the camp.
“Can you look after them a little more, Carol?” You asked the woman, you were sure she was not going to say no, she loved being with the kids and even with Luna.
“Sure, don’t worry.” She said, you nodded and then walked to the opposite side from where you came the fastest as possible, looking down so others wouldn’t see you had started to cry.
You walked until you found a place far enough so no one would find you, but not so far that you would have any trouble. You had a gun and knife, you knew how to defend yourself, but you couldn’t make it easy to the dead to kill you, you were not that dumb.
You sat behind a tree, brought your knees to your chest and hid your face crying. Your thoughts were racing and all you could think was about what you saw, your brother and how you missed him. You listened to some light leaves hustle, but You didn’t give it importance, thinking it was probably the wind, it was so light that it couldn’t be a walker. So you continued minding your own business crying what you had to cry so you could look at your sister-in-law’s face without letting her know how upset you were.
“Ya shouldn’t be out here vulnerable like that” you jumped startled by the redneck’s voice. ‘So that was him,’ you thought, ‘of course, only he could walk with light steps, he was a hunter after all.’ You wiped your tears, not that it would help they were still falling and there wasn’t anything you could do to stop them.
“I’m not vulnerable, I just needed some time alone.” You answered, he was really trying to not be too rough on you given to your situation, but his lack of tact was something he had much difficulty to overcome.
“Ya could cry in your tent, it’s safer”
“I don’t wanna Carl and Lori to see me cry. I don’t wanna have to explain myself, things would get bad if I had to. I don’t wanna upset Carl.” You sniffed, that was one of the worst parts of crying, getting a damn runny nose.
“Shane can’t help?” He asked, you didn’t know but he probably already had some idea of the reason you were crying.
“He’s part of the problem Dixon, if I could I’d punch him and kick his balls” you answered, tears still running down but a little bit calmer.
“Did ya see him and…” he didn’t finish the question, because you completed it for him.
“Lori? Yeah”
Talking about them made you remember everything you saw and how it hurt you. You were still mourning Rick, and Shane and Lori apparently were already moving on. What hurt the most is that even mad at both of them, you still loved them. Lori was like a big sister, a sister that you wish you had while growing up, and Shane? He was your brother he taught you how to defend yourself, he gave you shooting classes, he brought you home the first time you got drunk and even took care of you while you were hangover. When Rick wasn’t there, he was. At this moment you hated him as much as you loved him.
“Do you know if anyone else know about them?” You asked after a long time, you were so lost that you didn’t even noticed that Daryl walked a bit ahead and stoped with his back turned to you. He wanted to give you privacy to cry, but he also couldn’t leave you behind, it was dangerous to you staying so vulnerable at the forest. He knew you could defend yourself, but you didn’t even listened him approaching, you sure were not going to listen to a walker too.
“I don’t know. Probably not. I’m much into the woods, so I caught them a few times.” He answered at distance, not turning to look back at you. “Do ya like him?” Daryl asked and right after he just regretted having opened his mouth, why would he ask such an intimate thing to you? He should just stay there and make sure you’d go back alive to the camp.
“Ew! No! He’s like a brother to me. We grew up together.” You answered disgusted to the idea of liking Shane any other way. “It’s not that. My brother, he died. Well, you probably know. And I know Lori needs to continue living and they are adults, but there’s not even 2 months and she moved on that fast and Shane… he was his best friend. I’m still mourning him, the world still doesn’t make any sense without him here and they are already fucking. I know I’m being selfish and emotional but…” you spoke so much that you had already lost your line of thought. Daryl was probably tired of you, he wasn’t one to talk much, but here you were opening all your thoughts to him.
“It’s about yer brother. Ya have the right to feel.” He understood, he had never lost his brother and he hoped he’d not lose him anytime soon. Merle was a dick, and he made him mad most of the time, but he was his brother, so he understood you.
You wiped your tears, calmer and ready to continue. You were still mad and sad about everything, but now you didn’t feel like you were going to die anymore, you were not suffocated. You got up, shook the dirt from your pants and approached the archer.
“I was going to take some wood for fire. I don’t want to go back empty handed. Can you help me?” Now you gave a look at him, and noticed he had some rabbits and squirrels hanging from a rope. He was being essential to maintain everyone fed, he was not one to be socializing around the camp, but he was good and you could see it.
He just nodded and started walking by your side collecting the good woods he found along the way. “Thank you.” You said collecting a branch that you saw.
“For what? I didn’t even take the woods to the camp.” Did he not understand or was he faking?
“Not about the woods. Well, that too… but thank you for staying with me and talk to me, you didn’t have to” ‘but you did’, you completed in your thoughts. “Also, thank you for always bringing us food. I don’t know if I ever told you that.” He grunted, sometimes you wish you could know what he was thinking, you never knew if his grunts mean something good or bad.
“No need to thank me” he never knew how to react at moments like that. Should he say thanks back? Should he give another compliment?
Soon you returned to the camp, he helped you put the woods near the makeshift kitchen and was going to clean the rabbits and squirrels so they could be cooked.
“Luna likes you” you said, you saw how your dog acted around him. He was a little surprised with the comment. “You can take her with you when you want, I see that you like her too.” You smiled, a beautiful one just as if you were not broken or had cried your soul an hour ago.
“She likes my food too” he joked, it was not intentional but after what he said he even got a little smile at the corner of his mouth for some seconds. You giggled before answering.
“I know, she makes the cutest puppy eyes. It’s not her fault if you can’t resist her charms.” He snorted and for some seconds, just few seconds, he thought that maybe she wasn’t the only one he couldn’t resist. As he went to clean the hunt, you went to Carol to say you got the wood and offer to take care of the kids while she started to prepare the food.
You couldn’t take that smile from your face and you didn’t were sure why, you ruffled Luna’s fur while you sat close to the kids and released the dog so she could run around a little. You hated having to let her tied, but you were too afraid of what could happen if she went too far. She ran around the camp and soon approached the archer he pet her and she made her happy tail dance to him, he looked in your direction and you smiled watching their interaction. Your day wasn’t lost, there was still good things to be grateful for, even in a world like this.
Final notes: Please tell me your thoughts. There is a long time I don’t write and publish fanfiction in English so I’d be glad to hear from you.
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