#I really hope she exposes him for all of the shady shit he’s done

[sugarcoated-lame]

KATIE !!!!!!! I AM IN PAIN !!!!! 😭😭

My heart is breaking for them, but I absolutely LOVED to see Apollo standing her ground with her parents and and fighting for her mans 🥺

‘A quick shake of your head and you tug yourself closer to him. “Please don’t leave me here.”’

‘“I can’t go back to that house if you’re not there,” You mumble into his shoulder, hot and cold at the same time, on the verge of tearing up or screaming your lungs out at the end of every syllable.’

“I love you, and I’ll see you in a little bit, alright?”

‘You’ve never felt the urge to break every clause on the page before in the same way that you do today. Scrawling your signature on the dotted line, it feels like you’re just about signing away the right to say his name. To think of his smile.’

Ugh my heart can’t take this !! Their entire exchange had me tearing up, it’s crazy to see just how far these two have come and how much they love each other 😭😭

I am so very, very sad, but the ending actually made me smile,

“I know what you did. I’m going to fucking ruin you.”

I cannot WAIT to see Apollo make good on her threat !!!! 😡 Phenomenal writing as always, I’m so nervous to see what’s going to happen next!! 💜💕💜💕💜💕

Operation Apollo | 2.5 | Jake Seresin x reader

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Synopsis: After a threat is made against her life, the President’s grown up daughter gets her security tripled. Her long term detail is about to retire and needs replacing, only — she isn’t the easiest to work with. Ex-Navy and current Secret Service, Jake Seresin is devoted to being the best at everything he does. He isn’t going to let a bratty little girl cost him this job.

Warnings: age gap, power imbalance, enemies to lovers, danger and angst, manipulation, sucky parents

…

Five year olds rarely understand politics. The weaving webs of deceit — all for the greater good — it quite simply doesn’t match up to the daily right from wrong lessons that they’re receiving. It never made sense to you back then. But, five year olds also rarely understand chess, and yet, you did.

Sitting in your father’s study whilst he was still governor of that teeny tiny state, in that small seeming house that you barely remember these days, brows furrowed and lips pursed as he asked you if you understood the move you had just made.

Being quick to adapt was always one of your strong suits. Your daddy hadn’t wanted to play dress up and tea parties like the other girls’. So, you had learned to play chess. In tow, you had learned to understand politics. Each move had a consequence and so, had to be carefully thought out, just like in chess.

You sit now, in a different office, feeling very much just as small, and think of the three moves in which you have ruined Jake’s life. Truthfully, when you had kissed him for that first time on the couch a few months ago, you hadn’t been thinking of where it would land him. You had thought about it before that, toying with the idea of having him do something to get him fired.

But, when it had come down to it, all that you’d really wanted was for him to be around all of the time. He had been so kind to you that night, and you had wanted that feeling to last forever.

That had been the first move, it hadn’t been definite — there was still room for recovery back then. With the other two, it’s more difficult to distinguish. Had the option for redemption disappeared when you had come crawling into his bed that first night in Texas, or had it still been there until you had let him tell you that he loved you?

Either way, it’s long gone now.

Worst of all, the last thing you had told Jake was that you hated him.

He stands six feet to your right now, and there’s not a single thing that you could do or say that could fix the things that you’ve done to each other. Your father, sitting suited and powerful behind that big desk, is going to make sure of that.

Sitting here, yourself and Allen on the couch. Your mother, opposite with the press secretary to her right and your father’s lawyer, Owen, on her left. When he had called this meeting, demanding everyone to be dressed and prepared, you had known that your time with Jake was over.

Now, the second of his careers is in tatters and this time, there’s no coming back from it. There’s no amount of time that can heal the damage that you’ve done to Jake’s life, your father can make sure of that. The leading candidate is a friend of your father’s from law school — his power is going to extend far beyond the expiry date on his title as president.

Brushed velvet, freshly cleaned but not for this occasion, navy blue under your fingertips. Baited breath, shoulders tense, colours faded, you pick at the upholstery to keep from crying.

“You have to think of the family right now, Princess,” He’s still reclined back in that chair, those white walls and heavy gold curtains behind his head. It looks fantastic in pictures, the white, gold and blue of the office, that’s why he had picked it. “This isn’t the kind of publicity we want on our names as we leave office.”

Mid-morning — such a strange time for the end to occur. It doesn’t seem right. You’re far from done fighting.

“The only mark on our name right now is that six people died at an event in your honor less than two weeks ago.” You bite. Standing at the back, his arms folded in front of his waist, a muscle in Jake’s jaw ticks. He wants to butt in and tell you to just stop talking, but he can’t. Speaking is just going to make things worse.

“I know you aren’t stupid, so do us all a favour and stop acting like you are,” Your father’s voice hardens, growing more stern as he leans forwards, hands clasped together. It’s all very formal. The security, the suits, the tone. “You know what a scandal like this can do. You’ll ruin your life before you’ve even had an opportunity to live it.”

Jake’s teeth press into his tongue until his mouth is all copper-tasting and numb. It’s interesting. Maybe if he had gone to college, he’d know the word for it — the talent that your father has for passing on the blame. It’s your life at the risk, it’s your fault. Jake can’t help but wonder what exactly it is that does manage to fall under the scope of your father’s personal responsibility.

More recently, it’s been feeling like that has kind of already happened. The question has always been at the back of your mind. How anyone expects you to move on from this, to live a normal life after everything you’ve been through. Back in highschool, you’d joked about one day sharing your memoirs. How terrifyingly suffocating it had been to grow up in the shadow of the White House.

“I will not let you throw away every opportunity that I’ve given you.” The ‘for him’ isn’t a necessary addition; Jake isn’t good enough, he’s not the right kind and he never would have been. He went to Naval Academy right out of highschool and has only set foot on an Ivy League campus once in his life. Even in the right circumstances, your parents never would have accepted him.

Your mother shakes her head, picking anxiously at her nails from the couch opposite you. Her glare has been searing through you since she had sit down. That jagged, red, puffy scar peeking out from under her sweater. Her crutches at the side of the couch.

“I can’t believe that you could even be this selfish,” She speaks up finally. You know that she has been wanting to for a while. Briefly, you glance to your right and you meet Jake’s gaze. Then, you look back to her. “You’ve completely disregarded everything that this family stands for, you’ve made fools of your father and I — and for what? — Was this to punish us for something? — Have we truly been such awful parents?”

Biting your tongue, you just stare back at her. It’s hard to decide which would be more childish: to fold your arms over your chest and outright refuse to answer, or to finally scream like you’ve been wanting to. Your arms cross calmly, you inhale and keep her gaze.

Jake turns his attention towards the floor. Allen looks across at the younger agent, taking his time to study him. In all of his years with you, he knew that something like this would happen eventually. The way you used to taunt those poor sons of bitches until they broke and quit or got reassigned. Not one of them had ever given into your teasing, but Allen knew that it was going to happen.

He hadn’t, however, ever thought that he would feel bad for the guy who fell for it. In his heart, he feels that Jake isn’t a bad guy. Different time, different circumstances, maybe things could have been different between the two of you. It’s a little late for that kind of wishful thinking now, that decisions already been made. It’s why Allen got called down here at the ass-crack of dawn to sit in on this meeting.

Jake’s out. Everyone in this room knows it already.

“Jake goes back to his home, you go back to yours and start grad school as we had planned,” It’s clearly not a suggestion, and it’s a better offer than Manny had been expecting. Your father’s gaze hardens as he looks towards Jake, “You’ll both sign a non-disclosure agreement, we’ll forget that this little indiscretion ever happened.”

“No.”

Jake swallows, curling his hands into fists and uncurling them again, willing you to just stop talking— just this once. His heart throbs at the sadness in your voice. He’s glad, now, that you let him fall asleep still holding you last night.

“I’m not signing anything, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Your other option is that we pursue criminal charges.” Owen speaks up finally. A weedy little redhead that your father has known for decades. He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose and straightens out his suit. He looks across at Jake, who doesn’t seem too bothered by that.

Manny slowly inhales, his fingertips brushing the cotton of his pants as he braces himself for what comes next. No one else seems quite as prepared for it as the three men who know you the best.

“Were you dropped on your head as a child or something?” Voice raised, nostrils flared, taking a step forwards like you’re just about ready to vault over that nice little coffee table separating you from the lawyer. “Criminal charges? — For what?”

Allen reaches out and rests his hand against your knee, like it will do something to keep you tethered down to that blue, velvet couch.

Owen’s mouth curls up, an amused snarl as he leans forwards and reaches into his expensive, embossed book bag and pulls a manual from it. It lands unceremoniously on the coffee table before you, spinning so that the words are facing you. Professionalism within the workforce handbook. Homeland Security Fiscal Year 2021 to Congress.

“I think it might be beneficial for you to familiarize yourself with this book, Miss.” He sneers.

Jake has been saying since he arrived that Allen’s too slow to still be in the service. All of his suspicions are confirmed as you lurch forwards, fingers curling around the book before Allen has even clocked the way that your expression has changed. Jake closes his eyes, exhaling slowly as the book sends Owen’s fragile, wire frames clattering to the floor.

“Fuck you.” All of those years of training, all of those expensive schools — everything that your mother has done to turn you into a well-mannered young lady, shattering faster than those cheap lenses in those wire-framed glasses. Jake’s lips quirk at the corners, just slightly, as he looks past you to study your father. There’s a look of almost confusion on his face. He doesn’t recognize you.

Four different people call you by your name at once. Your parents, Allen, and then Jake. An argument could be made that it’s the difference in Jake’s tone that makes you look to him first. Everyone else is shocked, appalled by your behavior. Jake’s uncharacteristically calm in a way that makes your heart throb.

Short hair, clean-shaven, every freckle and frown line painfully familiar. He’s standing close enough that you could reach him in a few small steps. Jake gives you a soft nod, a barely-there ghost of a smile.

“It’s alright.”

“Don’t you dare—“ Your mother’s on her feet in an instant, rounding towards him with her eyes wide.

Jake still hasn’t moved an inch from where he had been told to stand at the beginning of this whole circus. He’s calm as he looks towards your mother. Calmer than he thought he would be in the event of this happening.

“You won’t press charges,” You look towards your father. He quirks a brow at you. “If you want to keep this quiet, you won’t press charges.”

“Either we keep this civil, and you sign the agreement — or you’ll leave me with no other choice.”

There’s a moment’s pause. Briefly, Jake thinks you’re about to find another projectile to launch across the room. Matthew interjects before you get a chance to make this worse.

“We’ll give you two a moment to discuss.” Matthew decides. You don’t dare to look away from him, your glare burning into him as he clears the room for you.

Jake waits until all the doors are shut before he moves, turning you silently to face him and wrapping his arms tightly around your middle.

“I can — I’ll fix this,” You mumble into his shoulder, fingers curling into the jacket of his suit. Jake squeezes you closer to him. “You can’t leave.”

“A few more months and then this is all over,” Jake whispers, breathing in your smell, pressing his lips softly to your neck. “You’re out, I’m out. Just a few months, and we’ll figure something out.”

A quick shake of your head and you tug yourself closer to him. “Please don’t leave me here.”

“Look at me,” His palms hug your cheeks, keeping your attention on him. His eyes look especially green when he wears black. “You’re going to listen to Manny, and you’re going to be good for a couple of months, and then we’ll figure this whole mess out. Alright?”

“No,” You breathe out, voice trembling. “Fuck, this is all your fault.��

“My fault?”

It’s difficult. Knowing that this moment is fleeting, not wanting to spend it arguing, but just reeling with this anger that makes you want to rip down those heavy, gold curtains and set them on fucking fire.

You’re still holding on to Jake, hands curled around his shoulders, vice-like. He presses his lips once, gently, to your temple, then closes his eyes.

“If you hadn’t lied to me, if you hadn’t just listened to that fucking asshole then we wouldn’t be in this mess!”

“I know, I know,” Jake whispers, squeezing you tighter against him, resting his chin against the top of your head. His palm smooths along your spine. “We’re going to sign the NDA, you’re going to go back to school. I’ll figure something out — once you’re out of office, I’ll come back.”

“I can’t go back to that house if you’re not there,” You mumble into his shoulder, hot and cold at the same time, on the verge of tearing up or screaming your lungs out at the end of every syllable. “What if something happens again?”

“Nothing’s going to happen to you,” Jake doesn’t know that for sure. He doesn’t know how this began, or how it’ll end. He knows that the safest place for you is by his side. He lies to you anyway. “You just listen to everything Manny says and you’ll be fine.”

Swallowing, the only thing that your brain can conjure is his name. Lips trembling, you give a small shake of your head, “Jake…”

“I love you, and I’ll see you in a little bit, alright?” Jake squeezes at your biceps, trying to meet your gaze until finally you give in and look at him. Your throat squeezes in protest, trying to bring forth another sob. You can’t keep crying. It’s all you’ve done for days. “Just promise me that you aren’t going to do anything stupid while I’m gone.”

The silence that follows makes Jake sigh. He knots his brows together sternly. “Promise me.”

“I don’t want you to go.” You say quietly.

“I don’t want to either, but it’s going to take the heat off of both of us — I’m not leaving here if you’re going to put yourself in danger to get back at your father.” Jake frowns at you.

“I promise.” You mutter finally.

“Alright,” Jake nods slowly, smoothing his hands along your arms. He takes his time in looking you over before he finally cups your jaw and tilts your head back. “I love you.”

You’re still furious. With him, with them, with this whole fucking situation. Most of all, with your powerlessness to it. But, you love Jake. You press your face into his chest and murmur it begrudgingly.

Jake glances towards the door and knows that you’re probably being listened to. His hand curls gently around the nape of your neck as he tugs you back from his chest and presses his lips to yours. He can still taste the salt on your lips from this morning’s tears.

He has half of a story about how this morning had played out — snippets of details that Manny had been able to give him. It was going to happen sooner or later. You still won’t sleep, you’re restless and agitated — you don’t trust anyone around you. He wishes that he didn’t have to leave now.

Reluctant to let you go, Jake squeezes your hand softly and walks over to the closed file on the desk with his name on it. He nudges it open with his index finger, lips quirking immediately at what’s before him.

It’s a screencap of a security tape. From a few months ago, when you’d gotten shitfaced and he had thrown you over his shoulder to take you to your room. Followed by a picture of him leaving your room hours later, the time stamps circled. On the next page, there’s a screencap from a security tape again. This time it’s from your house. The balcony between your room and his. Jake sitting on his chair, you sitting with your foot on the seat between his legs and a big grin on your face — just slightly, your underwear is visible between your parted legs.

Admittedly, Jake’s pleased that this is as scandalous as it gets. The mustn’t have dug too deep — he knows that they could have found much more if they had.

Swiftly, he turns back to you and wraps his arms loosely around your hips. “I’m not sorry for us. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Promise me.” You squeak out, throat dry and tight.

“I promise.” Jake confirms, pressing his lips to your temple once more, then nudging your jaw back so that he can kiss your lips. Confirming his suspicions that they had been being listened to, the door opens. He takes his time in withdrawing from you, letting the security see that he had been holding you.

It’s tough. Biting your tongue as Jake’s given an already drawn up agreement and a pen, as he signs away these past few months. He leaves first, heading back to collect his things with two details tailing him. You won’t see him again before he leaves, they’ll make sure of that.

Then, your parents, Owen, the other staff — they watch intently as you’re given your own agreement and the same pen. You lean forwards and study the page, taking your time to go through every word. You’ve signed these before. Hell, some of the parties you had been to with other politicians’ kids had these to sign at the door before you were allowed entry. This is different.

You’ve never felt the urge to break every clause on the page before in the same way that you do today. Scrawling your signature on the dotted line, it feels like you’re just about signing away the right to say his name. To think of his smile.

Glancing up briefly, the ink isn’t even dry, and there’s something on your father’s face that makes your gut tense up. He changes his face immediately, gracing you with something that resembles sympathy.

It lingers on your mind, that expression, as you turn to study the relief on your mother’s face. For her, this problem is solved — you’ll stay away from Jake, you’ll be with someone that she likes instead. For your father, it’s something evidently different. Equally pleasing.

Once the ink has dried, you’re certain now more than ever. His reason for hiring Jake, one person, rather than expanding your team from the beginning — calling you to and from D.C. like a lapdog — the secrecy and arms’ length relationship. Not only did he know about the danger you were in, he knew from the beginning that these plots were more than just displeased voters.

He sits back in his seat as you squint your eyes at him from across the room. Jake’s gone, in a couple of weeks, he’ll take the hit as a mole — this will all blow over. Maybe if your father had spent a little more time playing tea parties with you instead of chess, he’d have a better insight into the way your mind really works.

The room empties slowly, people filtering out — security staff sticking to you like glue. You don’t mind their presence one bit. Shoes tapping delicately across those hardwood floors, you lean forwards and rest your palms on the desk.

Matthew raises his eyebrows at you expectantly.

Lowering your voice to an almost whisper, loud enough for it to remain undoubtedly sincere, you speak finally. His own eyes, down to the very flecks of lighter colour, staring right back at him. Playing his very own game of bullshit. “I know what you did. I’m going to fucking ruin you.”

…

Operation Apollo Tag List

@alanadetigy @thedroneranger @momc95 @basicchelsea @perpetuelledaydreaming @cherrycola27 @eviesaurusrex @xoxabs88xox @desert-fern @fuckyeahhangman @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @khaylin27 @cowboybarbie @someinsanefangirl @marchingicenotes7 @marantha @lgg5989 @herladyshipxx @chaoticweirdogeek @mak-32 @obiwankenobis-lap @diamond-3 @wolvesofthewinter @shawnsblue @itsmytimetoodream

[sinner-as-saint]

we can’t stop, we’re enemies.

Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader AU

Run-through: After the events of the last battle against Thanos, you teamed up with Sam and Bucky to carry on your superhero duties. You got along with Sam just fine, he was a really good friend to you. Bucky however, was not. From constant banters, to unnecessary hand-to-hand combat, to purposely getting each other in trouble during risky missions, to being the main cause of Sam’s migraines; it was safe to say that you and Bucky considered yourselves to be each other’s nemesis. Although that soon changes when, courtesy of your silly banters, a certain mission goes slightly wrong - one which involves strong chemicals which, unbeknownst to you, were designed to mess with the brain and hormones, thus encouraging the need to breed and procreate amongst all those who inhale it...

Themes: enemies-to-lovers, smut, sex pollen trope, dirty talk, swear words, fluff

“How is it going up there Sam, talk to me.” 

You spoke, waiting to hear from Sam through the ear piece. 

The three of you were on a mission on unfamiliar lands. Rumor had it that some shady organization was conducting illegal experiments. The whole location was spooky, and you needed to be thorough and quick. So Sam decided to get an aerial view along with Red Wing, and see if there are any threats coming your way while you and Bucky decided to check out the underground laboratories. 

The whole place was shadowy and old, it almost seemed like no one had been here in a long time. But still, these people were criminals so you had to gather every evidence you could which would lead you their way. 

And so far, after exploring the place for the past half an hour, you found nothing major. Just weird laboratory glassware filled with liquids and what not. 

“Sam?” you called out again into the ear piece, keeping your gun at the ready. “Say something damn it.” 

His reply came. “There’s something sketchy about the building at the back, I’m gonna go check it out. But you have to promise me you won’t kill each other by the time I get back.” 

You and Bucky sent death glares at each other in disgust. He was on the other side of the lab, flipping through files and papers, while you were searching the cabinets and drawers. The two of you were separated by a steel workstation. Dark leather jacket, metal arm exposed; you’d find him handsome if he wasn’t so annoying. 

“Sure, whatever.” Bucky mumbled, being his grumpy self. 

You frowned at him, “Dude, drop your fucking attitude.” 

Bucky rolled his eyes at you, “Don’t tell me what to do.”

Sam roared through the ear piece, “Enough! Focus, you two are in the labs and we don’t know what’s in there. Just, maybe look out for each other. Okay? I’m going in.”

“Be careful, Sam.” You spoke, sending another dirty look at Bucky. 

“Yeah y-,” 

Sam got cut off. All you could hear was some static noises and then complete silence. 

“Sam? Can you hear us?” Bucky tried reaching out but neither of you could hear him. “This isn’t good.” 

“Damn it!” You cursed. “Maybe he flew out of range. Or maybe we’re too deep under.” 

For once in his life he nodded, agreeing with you. “Let’s just hurry up and see what we can find. We need to get out of here as fast as we can and get to the Jet.” He said, flipping through more and more files and papers, his metal arm glistening in the poorly lit room. 

You sassed in the same tone he used before, “Don’t tell me what to do.” And you earned yourself another glare from him. 

Fifteen minutes later and you two still had nothing to work with. 

“This is useless. There’s nothing here, this is just bullshit.” Bucky complained, slamming down a file on the workstation so hard that it made you jump. 

You were annoyed. You slammed a cabinet shut and turned to face him. “Oh I’m sorry princess, is work getting too tiring? Do you need a break? Hmm?” 

“Shut up, you’re the one who keeps whining all the time.” He wasn’t wrong. 

You stepped forward, grabbing the edge of the cold workstation. “Well maybe if you’d quit complaining and actually do your part of the job, then I wouldn’t have to whine about always doing everything on my own and you taking credit for it in front of Sam.” 

He leaned forward, his metal arm already denting his side of the edge of the workstation. “Maybe if you’d stop bitching about everything and everyone all the time then maybe we’d get along and actually get shit done.” 

You leaned in too. “Or maybe if just me and Sam teamed up, we’d work better. I still don’t know why he keeps you around. Take your metal arm away, what are you? Exactly, just a hundred year old, confused man.” 

He smirked. “And what are you? Just a spoilt, whiny brat who knows how to use a gun?” He knew just what to say to get the reaction he wanted out of you. 

In less than a few seconds you had your loaded gun out in front of you, aiming it at his forehead. “And guess what, she never misses a target.” You spat at him. 

You had done this before; aiming guns at each other until Sam comes to break the tension. But Sam wasn’t here this time. 

Bucky knew you would never pull the trigger on him so he gave you a handsome, arrogant smirk which only pissed you off even more. “Come on, shoot.” He provoked you. 

“Stop pissing me off.” You warned. 

“Or what? You’re gonna shoot me for calling you a whiny, spoilt brat? See, that’s exactly what brats do.” 

“James, stop.” Oh he was getting on your nerves. You were agitated. 

He just smirked and went on. “I actually believe that that might be your superpower, destroying people by annoying them to death with how much of a brat you can actually be.” 

You glared at him, unmoving, furious. You placed your forefinger on the trigger. “Say brat one more time and I will blow your fucking head off and when Sam asks, I’ll make it seem like an accident.” 

He leaned closer, aligning his forehead to the barrel of your gun. He stared at you with his stormy, ocean blue eyes; inciting you to just pull the damn trigger. He watched you with mischief in his eyes. “Brat.” He mouthed, smirking right after and waiting for your reaction. 

You clenched your jaw and shifted your aim just a little so that the bullet misses him but still shoots right by his ear. You pulled the trigger without hesitation, shooting at the shelf filled with dark red and brown liquids behind Bucky. 

Bucky maintained his calm and composure despite the loud sound of the shattering glass falling on the tiles right behind him. “Brat.” He said again, out loud this time. 

“I hate you.” You lowered your gun but then noticed something behind Bucky. Smoke, or some sort of vapor oozing out of the broken flasks and test tubes. You froze for a second. “Bucky, look.” You walked around the workstation and joined him on the other side. 

The vapor quickly filled the room like thick fog, reducing visibility and making your throat burn a little. You coughed; once, twice. You looked beside you and Bucky was standing there with a look of horror on his face. 

The moment his supersoldier sense got a whiff of the vapor, something in him ignited. No… 

“We have to get out of here. Now.” You heard his voice, then felt his cold fingers wrap around your wrists as he tugged you along, making his way out of the lab. He tried to hold his breath but he couldn’t hold it very long. He tried to find the door to exit the room but that was hard too because neither of you could see properly. 

“This stuff,” you spoke in between coughs, “will probably kill us, won’t it?” You held on tightly to his arm. “You need to get us out of here now.” The vapor was reducing your visibility more and more. 

He felt the side of the wall, looking for the metal handle of the door through which you entered the lab. “It won’t kill us.” He growled as he looked beside him. You were standing close to him, so close, holding on to his arm tightly, a thin layer of sweat covered your face. 

It was almost funny how you had your gun aimed at him just a minute ago and now you were relying on him for protection. 

“How can you be so sure? Do you know what this stuff is?” You asked. 

He sighed. He knew. “I have a hunch, but let’s hope I’m wrong.” He felt warm. Deep inside something stirred in him. Animalistic, primal, feral. It was there, pressing and burning. Guess he wasn’t wrong. 

He finally found the door and he pushed it open, letting the two of you out and you took off running at once. You tried to reach Sam. A couple tries later, he finally responded. “I got some names, I think we got what we’re looking for. Where are you guys?” 

“We found…. uh, nothing. We’re on our way to the jet, meet us there.” Bucky responded, running beside you. 

You were confused out of your mind, not to mention you felt feverish. Hot, and you were sweating more than usual in places you’d rather not think about. Something in you was yearning to break free. You felt chained, you needed release. You felt like something had awakened inside of you; a deep hunger. Aroused, you felt aroused. Or was it just the adrenaline rush? 

By the time you tried to figure out what was actually going on with you, you both had made it to the Jet. 

“I feel sick.” you mumbled, stumbling on your way inside the jet. “I think… I think that smoke poisoned me.” You placed your palm against the side of the plane to hold on so you don’t fall. You felt like gravity wasn’t pulling you down anymore. You were a little out of breath. 

Then you felt a cold hand on your shoulder. You grimaced as it only ignited the fire which you just found out had been burning inside you since you left the lab. 

“You’re not poisoned. You’re not sick, you’re gonna be okay. We just have to… we have to get home.” Bucky was worse than you were. His enhanced senses allowed him to feel everything you felt, times ten perhaps. 

His heart raced as he got a whiff of your fading perfume, mixed with the adrenaline pumping through your veins and your natural, raw scent. He could feel your arousal from here, and it pulled him in so easily. All he wanted to do was to tear your suit off, pin you up against the side of the Jet and fuck the living hell out of you, stretch you out and just rail you until you could no longer take it. 

Fuck. 

You looked up at him; heart racing, palms sweating and even your mouth was salivating more than usual. “You know what that thing was, don’t you?” You asked, ignoring the way his cold hand upon your shoulder made you want to lean into his touch even more. “What was it?” 

You saw the look in his hooded eyes. Bucky sighed, pulling his hand away from you and the loss of contact made you whimper ever so quietly. You felt warmer and more and more breathless with each second that passed by. 

“They used to make those substances, long ago back when I was with HYDRA. I didn’t expect to find those here. They were used to… to try and see if they could get super soldiers to procreate naturally.” Bucky explained and waited for your reaction. 

“Sex pollen. Correct?” 

He nodded, “Yes.” 

You were a little shaken, but relieved knowing that at least it wasn’t poison and you wouldn’t be dying a painful death. “That’s… I mean, it could have been poison.” You didn’t know how to react after you pieced it all together. “How long before it wears off?” 

“Twenty-four hours unless...” 

“Unless what?” 

“Unless you fuck it out of your system well enough.”

That had you surprised. “Oh. Well that’s just great, isn’t it? Fucking perfect. I’m screwed.” 

Bucky tried his hardest to refrain himself from leaning in and biting that sassy mouth of yours, shoving his tongue past your lips to shut you up, to hear you moan and gasp and cry out his name as he takes you however he wants to… 

“We.” He corrected you. “It’ll get worse every hour.” He replied. 

You sighed and moved away from him, unzipping your combat suit partly and removing the jacket because you couldn’t handle the heat. Bucky cursed as you stripped into just a tank top and tight pants, right in front of him. He felt his cock get harder. 

“Can you not?” He sounded pissed off again; frustrated. “This is all your doing. The least you can do is make this a little bit easier for both of us.” 

His words made you turn around and glare at him. “How is this my doing? I didn’t even know what was in that lab.” 

He stepped forward, instinctively. The sight of your exposed neck and your soft skin was making him think of unspeakable things that he wanted to do to you. As he advanced, you tried not to look down at his cock, straining against his zipper. Your heart raced as you took in the size of his bulge. Enhanced super soldier indeed. 

“Had you not been a spoiled brat who can’t take a joke, you wouldn’t have tried to shoot at me nor would you have shot those flasks!” He argued, feeling more and more warm as he got closer to you. 

You took a step forward as well, fueled by annoyance, lust and anger. “Who was it who provoked me into doing that because they couldn’t keep their fucking mouth shut, huh? That’s right, your annoying ass!” 

Bucky pushed you against the side of the Jet without a second thought. He grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head with his hand while pressing his body into you, his metal arm circling around your waist and pressing you further into him. 

He hadn’t thought this through. He hadn’t thought about how your warm breath would feel against his skin, or how warm your body would be under his touch. You felt feverish, having him this close. His tall, large frame and his tight grip made your whimper under him. Your body reacted to him naturally. 

All you felt was warm, his body heat, his scent. The feeling of his cold leather jacket against your flushed skin. You wanted him. Or rather, your body did. 

“Don’t you provoke me now, you fucking whiny brat.” He whispered, menacingly into your ear. 

You tried to ignore the shivers his voice sent down your entire body. But he saw it. And you could feel his erection press against your crotch. Just to mess with him, you discreetly moved your hips against his, making him hiss loudly. 

“What are you gonna do about it, dipshit?” You sassed, knowing that given his intensified senses he must be feeling much worse than you. 

He groaned as you kept grinding against him, your pulsating core rubbing against the bulge in his pants. And that only made it worse for both of you. 

“Fuck…” Bucky swore, before quickly pulling away from you, but not releasing you yet. “You’re such a bitch.” His body was screaming for you, each nerve ending of his was on fire. A fire only you could douse. 

You were just the same, on the edge and wanting to reach out for him; knowing he would satiate your hunger better than anyone could. Your body was throbbing as you stared into his eyes, your gaze lowering down to his dog tags. How you wanted those dangling right above your face… 

You heard someone clear their throat. It wasn’t Bucky. 

“Something you two need to tell me? Or is this just your new way of trying to kill each other?” A deep voice asked from behind Bucky. 

“Sam! Are you okay?” You escaped Bucky’s grip and rushed to Sam. 

He seemed alright to you. He nodded. “Yeah, we just need to get home. I need to notify the team and see what we should do next. What was in those labs?” 

You glared at Bucky. His smug face alone was pissing you off, but God right now you wanted to ride that man until the sun came tomorrow morning. 

“Just a bunch of useless experiments. Nothing major.” He glared at you as he said the last bit to Sam. 

The ride back home was one of the most painful, annoying and frustrating situations you had ever undergone. Each time you felt like someone was watching you, you’d turn your head to the side and find Bucky staring; and his stares would make your body tremble in need. 

Meanwhile he was having a hard time too, in more ways than one. He could feel his blood rush south even at the brief sound of your voice whenever you sighed in annoyance or talked to Sam. Luckily the latter could not pick up on the thick, sexual tension. 

Once at the compound, you each hurried to your own rooms and that’s where you stayed until the evening. Sam found it weird that you both skipped dinner but he didn’t need another headache today so he went to bed, telling himself that he’d deal with you two tomorrow morning. 

Bucky was a mess. Even after an hour under the cold shower his body was still calling out for you. He tried taking care of his business on his own, but that wasn’t working. He was still so hard it was painful. Nothing could make this better, nothing could soothe the pain - nothing but you. He needed you so badly it was driving him insane, like he was an animal in heat being asked to suppress his feral desires towards his mate. Being away from you was painful. He couldn’t help but hate you for no reason at all usually, but he’d do what it takes to be inside you and make you scream his name right now. 

You were equally as troubled at the super soldier. You tried taking a warm bath and tried to think of other things you could focus on, but nothing worked. Your toys didn’t seem appealing tonight, you needed him, all of him. You shivered at the thought of his taut, virile body under yours, or above. His masculine scent, the sound of his moans, would he bite?… fuck. You could feel your arousal leak out of you every now and then, it was insane how aroused you were. You couldn’t look at him for long without getting unnecessarily annoyed, but you would do anything just to have him rearrange your guts right now. 

What made it worse was that neither of you could stand each other at all. Enemies, you called yourselves. But right now you couldn’t help but crave each other in the most salacious way possible. 

Fuck this. You couldn’t take this anymore. You decided to swallow your pride and make your way to his room and ask him if you two could come to an agreement on how to fight this thing because it would be impossible to go another twenty hours feeling like this. You were burning from the inside. This was unbearable. 

Just as you opened your bedroom door, you were slightly surprised to find Bucky standing right outside your door. His metal hand up midair, as though he was to knock on your door and you happened to open the door just in time. You almost drooled at the sight of him; sweatpants and a tight, white t-shirt. You swallowed and cleared your throat. 

“Hey.” You greeted him, not knowing how to deal with this situation. You felt so drawn to him in that moment, so damn restless and needy that it was hard to breathe right while looking at him. 

“I was, uh, about to knock…” He didn’t know how he got here, he didn’t remember. Maybe it was the chemicals messing with his brain and turning him into a hungry beast. He didn’t care that he was knocking on your door in the middle of the night, he wanted you. He was craving you and that’s all he knew. Also the oversized t-shirt, the only you were wearing at the time, was not helping at all. 

“Yeah, um…” you rambled then stopped talking the moment you found him staring into your eyes with a wild look in his eyes. 

That was it. 

You grabbed him by the waistband of his sweats and pulled him inside, shutting the door behind him. Before Bucky could process anything, you had him pushed against your closed door and your mouth was on his, kissing him hungrily. Your hands slowly slipped under his tight t-shirt and you lazily trailed your hands up and down his toned abs. 

His hands gripped your hips on either side as he kissed you back with just as much ardor as you did. His body ignited the moment he felt your lips and hands on him, yet the heat was weirdly satisfying; it stimulated him but calmed him down at the same time. It felt perfect. This was just what he needed, you. 

Your movements were rapid and passionate, fiery. Hands roaming each other's body, touching and feeling and exploring; making each other moan like you were both touch-starved. 

You let out a soft moan when you felt his tongue slip past your lips, stroking the top of your mouth while his metal hand slipped under your shirt. Your body was tingling wherever he touched you. His touch made you feel way better than you had felt in the past few hours and you were grateful. Your moans sent his mind straight to the gutter and he couldn’t wait to be inside you. 

“I need you…” you whispered against his lips as you pulled away to catch your breath. “I need you to fuck me… right here, right now.” Your demands made him smirk as he looked down at you with lust in his eyes. 

“Oh?” he managed to still find the energy to be an ass to you. “Why don’t you go on and beg for it, then?” 

You scoffed, leaning in to lick his lips while you hand dipped into his pants. You grabbed his erected cock and gave it a little, gentle squeeze. He moaned like he hadn’t been touched in forever. Like he was desperate for one thing and one thing only; you. You whispered, “You need me too, Bucky. I’m not gonna beg you, I’m doing you a favor here.” You slid your closed fist up and down his length and made him moan some more before you let go and watched him groan and clench his jaw in annoyance. 

He looked down at you, panting in need just as you were. His hand slid into your hair and he gripped it, tugging on it just enough to make you gasp in pleasure and pain. “Still a fucking brat with that annoying attitude I see?” He leaned in to bite your exposed neck, making your cry out in pain before he licked the spot, soothing it. “Don’t worry doll, I’ll fuck all that attitude out of you.” 

He let go of your hair but tightened his grip around your waist as he placed his mouth back on yours. Kissing you like there’s no tomorrow; biting your lip and bruising your already swollen mouth. He was wild, and you needed it and more. 

He pushed you down on your bed, and stood back to watch you for a moment. How did he never realize that you were so naturally beautiful? He looked down at you like a predator looking at his meal; fiercely, ready to ruin you and make you scream and beg and satiate his hunger. As well as yours. 

“Well, if you’re done staring…” you knelt on your bed and reached out for him, grabbing him by the neck and pulling him closer. “I want you in me. Now.” Your demanding tone riled him up. 

Bucky grabbed you by the hair and tilted your head back again. “If you wanna get fucked, you’re gonna ask nicely. Understood?” 

You glared at him, shooting death glares right at him while your hand palmed him through his sweatpants. “I fucking hate you.” You spat at him, whimpering as he pushed you back down on the bed, quickly climbing on top of you this time. 

“I hate you too.” He knelt on your bed, straddling your waist as he tore your oversized shirt in half and off your body, throwing the pieces of fabric somewhere on your bedroom floor. You laid beneath him in just your underwear and he growled. 

“That was my favorite shirt, you fucking idiot.” You whispered, breathless, shivers dancing down your spine as he traced your mouth with his two fingers, slipping them past your lips once, then twice then trailing his now wet fingers down your neck, till your belly button. 

“You think I care?” he leaned down and took one of your breasts into his mouth, kneading the other with his metal hand. The contrast of his warm mouth around one and his cold hand around the other was driving you crazy. He bit, and tugged and licked; making your back arch off the bed as you purred in pleasure. 

Your hips moved on their own, grinding against his erection again to try and alleviate the pain. You were desperate. Bucky pinched and rolled one of your nipples while he lightly grazed the other with his teeth, and you let out a loud moan. 

“Please… please, I need you. Please…” You muttered under your breath, knowing he could hear you. Bucky smirked as he pulled away from your chest, ignoring the way his cock throbbed. “What’s so fucking funny?” You grabbed him by the throat, pulling his face closer to yours. 

His metal arm reached down in between your legs and he ripped your underwear off. The fabric hurt just a little when it tore against your skin. “Just that it's the first time I heard you asking for something so politely. It’s not so hard after all, is it?” 

Now he was pissing you off. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and flipped the two of you around. You got on top of him and straddled his waist, trapping him under you like he had you before. You had better control like this. 

You grabbed him by the jaw and leaned in to kiss his lips, fiercely. “Stop fucking playing, Barnes.” You whispered against his lips, grinding against his hard cock again. He closed his eyes and hissed in pleasure as you kissed down to his neck, nibbling on his skin along his throat. 

He moaned, hands gripping your hips and guiding you as you rubbed your bare core against his clothed erection. “No? I thought brats liked games?” He mumbled. 

You pulled away from his neck and looked down at his smug face. “You are so fucking annoying.” You reached down in between your bodies and lowered his sweatpants all the way down until he kicked them off. You grabbed his cock and stroked him gently, agonizingly slow. He moaned shamelessly, and eventually caught on that you were just teasing him even more. 

“Don’t tease me…” he sounded just as breathless as you were. 

“Why? Not so fond of games anymore?” you sassed, rubbing your throbbing core against his thigh while you stroked him so gently that he felt like he was losing his mind. 

He growled as he grabbed you by the waist and flipped the two of you around, him being on top again. “Enough,” he growled in your ear, “Spread those legs for me.” He ordered, settling in between them as you spread your legs to accommodate him. He grabbed your thighs and parted your legs even more as he aligned the tip of his cock to your opening. “Now stay still, don’t move.” 

You braced yourself for him, but nothing could have prepared you for that. His length stretched you open until he was seated deep inside you, filling you up entirely to a point where you couldn’t even think of anything else other than him being balls deep inside you. 

You moaned as he removed himself entirely and pushed himself back into you, and watched in awe how you struggled to adjust to his size. He lowered his face again, and leaned into your ear, “Fuck….” you heard him moan; panting and swearing under his breath as he rocked into you. 

You were a moaning mess under him in no time. He kissed your open mouth while he rammed into you over and over again, making your eyes tear up. The burning need subsided a little bit as his cock brushed against all the right spots inside you. “Buck… faster, please,” You whimpered. 

He chuckled into your ear, “Needy little brat…” he mumbled as he sped up into you, making you lose your ability to focus on anything else other than him and his body. He pulled away from your face to look down at you, his metal hand coming up to wrap itself around your throat. “This is what you wanted since we left that lab, huh? For me to fuck your greedy little cunt? Hmm?” He taunted as he stretched you out completely. You lifted your legs up and wrapped them around his waist; allowing him to thrust deeper into you. 

You felt tears escaping your eyes as he pulled you closer and pressed his forehead to yours fucking deeper into you. He was relentless; each moan which left your lips only encouraged him to get more and more rough. 

You felt a pressure form in between your hips, your body begging for release. “Bucky… please.” You moaned, begging. For something, anything. You’d take anything at this point. But right when your walls started clenching around him and when you were just about to come undone; he pulled out. 

“Please what?” He surprised himself with how he was able to tease you in this situation when all he wanted was to make both of you cum over and over again. 

“I need to cum, Bucky please,” you cried, with tears in your eyes. 

Bucky leaned in to kiss your swollen lips, not minding the tears. “Do you deserve it?” He asked, and you nodded immediately, your body shaking with how bad you needed to cum. “Oh you do, do you?” 

You nodded again. “Please…please...” 

“Well since you asked nicely…” Bucky flipped you onto your stomach and pulled you onto your knees by your hips and pushed himself inside you again. You felt his muscular body press against the curve of your ass as he filled you up again. 

He rocked into you from behind. His hand found its way to your front and he pressed the palm against your lower abdomen. He liked how he could feel himself deep inside you with each thrust. And he liked how that drove you insane, he could by the way your walls gripped his cock. 

“Feel that, little brat? That’s all you’re good for… to take my cock like a good little slut.” He whispered. 

You groaned at the sound of his raspy voice, his words making you milk him even harder. “You wish, you dipshit.” You moaned as he sped up when you least expected it. You whimpered, and he chuckled now that he had you at his mercy. 

His hand travelled all the way to your throat and he choked you gently as he bent down to whisper in your ear, “I can assure you that no one is ever gonna fuck you this good,” he boasted as he very gently squeezed the side of your throat. But hard enough to make you lose your mind.

You could only moan and whimper in response while he kept pounding into you incessantly. “Fuck… please....” you cried. 

You felt the pressure in between your hips grow until you couldn’t hold back anymore. You felt him quicken his pace as he chased his own orgasm. “Cum for me. Now.” 

You didn’t have to be told twice. You came undone, hard and fast; moaning his name as you did. Bucky came right after you. 

You collapsed onto your bed, sprawled unevenly and not even caring. Your eyes were shut in fatigue, your heart racing and you could feel Bucky’s body heat right next to you. He was catching his breath too, mumbling something under his breath which you couldn’t catch. 

For the first time in hours, you felt at ease. Your body wasn’t yearning anymore, but the hunger was still there. So when Bucky got up to leave, you grabbed him by the hand and pulled him back into bed with you. 

He smirked as he fell helplessly onto your bed again, right next to you. “You want more, you greedy little brat?” 

You punched his arm before getting up and getting on top of him again, sliding your body down his cock. He hissed as you did. 

“Just another round.” You whispered, loving the sight of him under you. His tan skin against your white sheets, him moaning as you slowly lifted up and sank back down on his cock. Oh fuck��� 

You placed your hands on his muscular chest to hold yourself up as you sped up, riding him like you’ve been dreaming of this whole time. His hands gripped your hips, guiding you up and down his cock until you both found a pleasurable pace. 

You weren’t going to last too long, but you just needed to have him buried deep inside you again. His thick, girthy cock stretched you open as you took him as best you could, moaning and whimpering desperately as he groaned and gasped under you. 

Your walls gripping him and milking him like they had earlier, not even a few minutes ago. You felt the pressure forming nicely in between your hips again. You let out a loud moan as you felt his cock reach places it hadn’t before, turning you into a mess. 

His grip on your hips tightened as he brought you down on his cock with force each time and thrusting upwards to fuck you deeper. “Cum for me.” He threw his head back, growling. “Cum for me again…” 

Your hand grabbed him by the jaw and you leaned in to press your lips against his, claiming his open mouth and muffling his animalistic growls as you came undone around him again. Your orgasm then triggered his. 

You fell limp on top of him right after and he instinctively cradled your head. “You okay?” 

You nodded, your sweaty bodies pressed against each other but neither of you minding it. “Yeah.” 

Bucky gently rolled to his side, letting you down on your side of the bed. You tried your best to calm your racing heart. Not to mention you felt much, much better than earlier. 

Bucky got up to leave again, and you grabbed his hand before he got completely out of your bed. He turned to face you with a smirk then groaned dramatically, “Woman please, I’m not a machine. The pain will subside now, I believe we’ve done pretty good at fucking it out of our systems. I can’t go all night, seriously.” 

You were in a haze so his words made you giggle. “You’re really leaving?” 

He looked down at you, sprawled on your bed. Your face was glowing, you looked ethereal. “You want me to stay?” He asked, wondering where the sassy brat in you went. 

You nodded. 

He smirked, getting back into bed next to you, “What, now you're obsessed with me?”

You rolled your eyes at him. “Shut up. I’m just saying since I might need you again in the morning, you might as well just sleep here.”  

He pretended to be hurt. “Wow.” He didn’t mind that at all. He got under the covers with you, “So… is it just the chemicals or are we…?” 

You snuggled closer to his side, he wrapped his arm around you, tucking your head under his chin. “Shh, I still hate you.” Your tired, soft voice reminded him of a sleepy kitten. 

He held you closer. “Of course.” He looked down at you and saw that you had already fallen asleep on his chest. He cracked a soft smile, whispering under his breath, “Brat.” 

[backatitagainathamburger]

personally i could not get through gilmore girls after watching rory cheat on dean, especially the scene at the window when she apologizes to him for cheating on him, and saying he was a good boyfriend, and she really did love him, and that it was all her fault, and how she hopes he eventually won’t hate her anymore because this was the exact rhetoric that my abuser said to me time and time again every time I tried to break up with him, “for good this time.” And I would always come back because of these guilt trippy lines.

And personally, I really fucking felt for dean when he’d start yelling at her about how she was being shady and clearly fucking around with other guys while they were still dating. Because it felt like he had the audacity that I didn’t. That I wish I’d had. I wish I was able to stand up to him sooner. I wish I’d been able to break up with him publicly, exposing him for the piece of shit he really was. So it always pissed me off to see people call Dean’s behavior abusive. It always feels so victim blamey to me. What victim doesn’t have a revenge fantasy like that? I’m not gonna say these accusations are completely unwarranted, he does yell a lot and as the child of a father who yelled at me a lot growing up!! Not fun!! But imo he was COMPLETELY justified for the way he broke up with her publicly.

My opinions about rory herself as a character have changed a lot over time, I’m not completely anti-rory anymore, having watched different video essays about her character. I think the idea that she is a mirror of her mother who will fix herself later in life after having her kid like her mother did makes a lot of sense and I don’t think she’s completely unfixable. She was a dumb teenager and it was her first relationship.

But people are willing to give so much slack to Rory and none to Dean whatsoever. She was only his second relationship and his first was off screen and he clearly had no lingering feelings for her which leads me to believe it wasn’t that serious. “If you could tell she was drifting away, just break up with her.” If you can tell you’re not into him anymore, just break up with him? I’m not saying either is more responsible for breaking up with the other, just that yall should be reasonable and acknowledge that they were teenagers and basically in their first relationship. Rory is not a saint and Dean is not the devil and vice versa. Obv I am biased towards dean tho

I’m not gonna excuse his behavior with Lindsay tho. That shit was egregious lmfao I wish the writers had never done that. Straight up a character assassination. Like Rory’s a fuckup but I think she could come back from the stuff she’s done but Dean? Dean having a wife and children and being in a loving family in the epilogue series made no sense to me whatsoever.

[sir-adamus]

I read some of your Raven meta so I hope you don't mind; I think people are too quick to dismiss Raven as "irredeemable" because she's done some shady shit (which she def has!) But her character becomes significantly more interesting when you view her through the lens that she ran away and turned to this behaviour because a) she somehow found out Salem was immortal and b) Oz didn't have a plan. Every character we see so far who has been redeemed have shown remorse, which Raven has. Cinder OTOH..

Anonymous asked:

As for "if she knew why didn't she mention anything to Yang"? ...Yang barely believed Raven when all she was saying was "don't blindly follow orders, Oz isn't who he's portraying himself to be" like. She /could/ have, and maybe that's a fair critique but it wouldn't have gotten her far and Raven plays her cards/information to her chest (which yes, is a flaw). This got a lot longer than I intended sorry 😞

no worries

and yeah i think the problem with how Raven is received is mainly boiled down to people wanting to boil her down to a base archetype and dismiss her - she's meant to be a complicated and layered character, like a dark reflection of her daughter. hell, in the Yellow trailer, the first two characters on-screen after the opening quote talking about not being on-sided and easily processed are Yang and Raven in bird form

it is fitting in a really annoying way though that the way parts of the fandom dismiss Raven as "irredeemable" is similar to how Yang gets dismissed as a "dumb bimbo". because this fandom seems to have a major literacy issue and can barely seem to be able to comprehend what's happening on-screen, let alone themes in character narratives or hell, actual characterisation

Raven is interesting! she's complex and traumatised and there are obviously reasons behind the way she is that she's not willing to share and it's what makes her so compelling as a character

hell, even her telling Yang not to trust Ozpin and blindly follow orders - telling her to ask questions - that all feeds into why the reasoning behind why she wouldn't just tell Yang; finding out that information firsthand and not just accepting what you're told by an authority figure is exactly the point she was trying to get across. telling Yang to think for herself and then giving her own account of events would've been counterintuitive. and yeah, there's no guarantee Yang would've believed her anyway

Raven's got a lot of issues and a lot of flaws but they're not an insurmountable barrier between where she is now and redemption (and then there's the whole discussion of whether a character is 'redeemable' when ultimately redemption is a choice, a character choosing to be better for any number of reasons, that's a whole essay in and of itself - and even after all this time people still don't get that there's an entire gulf between redemption and forgiveness, they're wholly separate things and often mutually exclusive)

but you're right, Raven's shown remorse - it took Yang brutally shattering every protective wall she puts up to get to that point, but it's there

and more-so you've gotta consider what Raven's powers say about her. much like Yang, she's motivated on a far more personal level; Yang was never in this for some grand quest or "save the world" crap. she's there for Ruby, for her friends

Raven's Semblance, the very essence of her being, is built on her connections to other people and the love she has for them (which is why she has so few portals, because she's closed herself off and outside of Vernal, she hasn't made a connection with anyone since Yang was born). like, i think that's something people just kinda gloss over but Raven is defined by her relationships with other people and she cares far more than she lets on (this is why i always thought it was silly that people actually thought Raven wanted Qrow dead when she just said that to con Cinder - if Raven wanted Qrow dead she could kill him at any time. her Semblance gives her unrestricted access to him at all times, like when he's asleep, or drunk, and being the Spring Maiden makes that fight even more one-sided in her favour)

if anything is gonna get Raven back in the fight and redeeming herself, it's her love for her family - and Yang chewing her out has exposed her like a raw nerve and given her shit to reflect on instead of burying herself like before

[astridthevalkyrie]

summer rain: chapter 4

Your days in the Training Corp aren’t too out of the ordinary. You make friends, you train hard, and you eat dinner every day.

Oh, and you’re also hellbent on getting revenge against Humanity’s Strongest Soldier.

Chapter 3, Chapter 5

i have finally found the two perfect songs for this series and that’s everytime by chen & punch and talk love by k. will so go give those a listen because damn if it isn’t these two idiots.

anyways, enjoy the chapter!

Nothing is right anymore, and yet people are so quick to adapt to any sense of normalcy they can. It’s marveling to watch how, in two measly days, the refugees have quieted down and stopped fighting for food. Stopped fighting, period. Now they seek comfort in one another, a sense of camaraderie in knowing that they’ve all gone through the same thing. And holy hells are there a lot of them.

Because soon after Shiganshina was torn through because of the monster they were calling the Colossal Titan, Wall Maria itself fell. Ploughed straight through by something called the Armored Titan as though it was made of feathers. The refugees here are safe - for now - but there are countless of people who weren’t lucky enough to get behind Wall Rose, and they’re out there dying right about now. No one knows if Rose is going to hold either. No one knows anything. So with the kinsmanship comes a heavy pretense of safety, in which everyone ignores how scared they are in favor of counting themselves lucky that they get to live even a single day longer.

You’re doing what you can. Obeying orders without so much as a single complaint. Of course all rations are to be given to the refugees, so you’ve only had one eighth of a potato in the past twenty four hours, but it’s better than nothing. For once, you can’t find any fault with your situation, because no matter how terrible or hungry or scared you’re feeling, there is undoubtedly someone feeling worse.

Such as Ricky.

His mother and old sister managed to get to the boats. His father and younger sister weren’t so lucky.

The two of you had been stationed inside the base together, to watch and hand out resources to the refugees, but you’d immediately taken full responsibility and told Ricky to stay with his family. He’d pulled you into a bone-crushing hug and ran off, leaving you alone with your thoughts. Unfortunately, they’re pretty unpleasant.

Captain Erwin Smith is famed for bringing home soldiers who are still alive. That and Levi’s raw skill with his ODM gear makes you hopeful enough that he’s alive, so you try not to think of him. Frankly, it’s selfish to worry about a single person when there’s so many people at risk, so you bury the troublesome thoughts and focus on your job.

The Garrison has done a good enough job with the resources they have, but the Military Police’s presence is aggravating more than anything. They’re here to keep order, not to keep people safe, and everyone knows it. You wonder if your mother would prefer if you joined with these bastards instead of the choice you’ve made for yourself.

There you go again, being selfish. It’s always been about your life, and your absolute disdain for boredom. Out there, good people are laying down their lives. And you? You enlisted in the Training Corp as some form of self-fulfillment. It’s the first time you’re feeling this overwhelming guilt, as you realize just how ignorant your point of view is. You’ve never even so much as seen a titan, and yet you fancy yourself a soldier.

What a stupid girl you’ve been.

A tug on your uniform makes you snap out of your thoughts, and you look down to see a small girl with black hair wrapped in a scarf that’s too big on her. You blink, and try your best to smile reassuringly.

“Hey. You need something?”

The girl’s voice is quiet, soft, as though she’s trying her best not to be a bother. “They said you were giving out blankets here. May I have four of them, please?”

You nod, leaning down to check the crate by your feet. Unfortunately, you’d been swarmed by people asking for blankets just a few minutes earlier, and you’re just one short of how many the girl needs.

“I only have three left,” you begin apologetically, biting your lip, “but wait here, I’ll go check with someone else.” But you know that’ll be pointless, all the other stations have probably run out too, and if they haven’t, they’re saving for themselves. Calling them out won’t make them give it to you, that much is for sure.

Even the little girl seems to know that much. She shakes her head, taking the three blankets you offer her. “It’s alright. Three is enough. I’ll give them to the others.”

You frown. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter much. But you know that you would hardly be so selfless in the same situation. Hell, you would have wanted two blankets to yourself - these thin sheets are only going to do the bare minimum to keep people warm. The girl piques your curiosity.

“What’s your name?”

She hesitates for a second, then says, “Mikasa.”

You hum as though you’re thinking about it. “Pretty name. Who are the blankets for?”

She smiles faintly at the compliment. “My friends, Eren and Armin, and Armin’s grandpa.”

Not her parents. Your heart breaks for her. You’re not going to pry, the girl has probably seen enough, but you admire her maturity and willingness to spend the nights cold. It must take a lot to love some people so dearly that one would give up basic comfort. To risk getting sick, which, given the circumstances, may just be a death sentence. Yes, that kind of love is truly special, and you wonder if you’ll ever love someone that much.

You want to be a little selfless, too.

“Here.” You shrug off your uniform jacket, draping it over her shoulders. “I know it’s not much, but it’s better than nothing.”

Mikasa’s eyes widen. “But don’t you need it, ma’am?”

“Eh. They can make me another one.” You shrug. “Besides, to tell you the truth, orange isn’t really my color.”

Her eyes shine tiredly at the unexpected kindness. “Thank you.”

You watch her run off, letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. One person helped, out of thousands. It shouldn’t matter - you’re probably never going to see that girl again, you wouldn’t even know if the dumb uniform would do her any good. But there’s a part of you that can rest just a bit easier now, knowing that a child won’t be completely exposed to the harsh winter coming in. If the conditions of Wall Rose are anything to go by, you know that the refugees will be put to work in the fields very soon. It’s going to be a cold season indeed.

There’s been no time to process anything, which you’re almost grateful for. If you stop to think about the effect this is going to have on the fate of humankind, you might scream. There’s too much to think about, and there may be no time to think about it if things get even worse. For now, all you can do is try to help as many people as you can.

As Grumman always tries to drill into your head, it’s about dedicating your heart.

____________________

The new base and training areas are nice. That’s about all you can say for them. Losing the old one was akin to losing your home, and you know your comrades feel the same way, considering how awkward and depressing the shift has been. It feels stupid to start training again like the world hasn’t gone to shit, but you suppose it’s more necessary now than ever.

Everyone’s usual hijinks have stopped. Ophelia doesn’t cross her eyes and make faces whenever Grumman turns his back. Gunther’s habit of making finger guns every time he successfully slices a cardboard titan’s neck has ceased to exist. Even Traute, never one for jokes, seems even more morose and serious than usual. Everyone feels the loss keenly.

Ricky’s gone silent.

You don’t know how many people everyone has lost, and the worst feeling you’ve ever experienced is the relief that you haven’t lost anyone. It’s an ugly impulsive thought, but it trumps all the others in your head. Just overwhelming, horrible comfort.

It gets even worse when the Scouts return, almost three weeks later. There’s no cheers and hollers this time. Each and every single one of them is drenched in guilt and shame along with the blood coating their capes. Titan blood evaporates, you realize with a deep shudder.

The commander carries the same pain as the rest of them. Already, there’s been whispers of Commander Erwin, murmurs that Shadis is losing his touch and a younger, more clever man is needed. You don’t see how it matters who leads - titans are fucking titans, and they certainly don’t care. There’s no tactics that will make them stop being giant man-eating monsters.

You’ve been waiting for days to see Levi, but when you finally make him out, you quickly look away. The horrifying relief blooms in your chest again, and you curse and bless the circumstances that have brought you here. So he’s alive. So the constant anxiousness that has kept you up these last few nights is soothed. So what? Not everyone is as lucky as you. Things will never, ever go back to normal. You have no right to be happy about this.

When you glance at him again, you suck in a sharp breath when you see he’s gazing right back at you. There’s no brightness in his eyes, the rare spark that you’d seen in the moments the two of you shared is long gone. It seems like it was centuries ago. He’s seen too much. They all have.

There’s a question he seems to be asking you, but you have no idea what it is. You want to walk up to him, but a heavy force keeps your feet planted right where they are. All you can do is give him a confused expression, brows furrowed. It’s not like you’re telepathic. If he wants to ask you something, he’ll have to actually ask you.

But he doesn’t. He just looks away, seemingly conflicted, and continues to follow the others. When everything around him is hell, you wonder if you’re even important enough to be worth more than a couple of seconds of his attention. Thankfully, the thought isn’t painful like you imagined it might be. In fact, it’s a bit freeing to let go of this stupid, ridiculous, pointless plan. Your grudge against the lieutenant is about the least important thing in the world right now, so insignificant that you wonder how you ever thought it was worth your time in the first place. There’s no need to make yourself feel more like the foolish, self-centered bitch that you’re realizing you are.

The only problem that comes with letting go of this plan is that you’re letting go of Levi, and it’s a serious problem that the thought gives you such an aching pang in your chest.

____________________

Stephen is gently shaking you for a good ten seconds before you snap out of it, looking at him with a bewildered expression.

“Aren’t you going to go for your walk?”

You look around. Dinner is nearly over, and a few people have already filed out to go back to their dorms. You must’ve zoned out, like you have been ever since the Scouts came back earlier today. You’ve never been so unfocused in your life, simply because you didn’t like not knowing what was happening around you. This is so unlike you, but you’re not sure what to do to stop it. A dark cloud has settled over your shoulders, and you have absolutely no idea how to get rid of it.

“Yeah.��� You sigh and stand up, squeezing his hand in thanks. “Ricky went to bed already?”

Stephen nods, with a concerned frown on his face. “I know you’re worried about him, (F/N). I am, too. A lot.” He takes a deep breath. “I don’t want to have to worry about you too.”

You wince apologetically, running a hand through your hair. “Shit, I’m really sorry. Look, I’m fine, I am. I’m just...thinking a lot lately, that’s all.”

The last thing you want is to have your friends take time out of their day to schedule an intervention for you. You’re not the one who needs it. It’s as though everything just makes you feel worse and worse - it’s just that you feel fucking useless all the time, and now you’re an emotional burden to Stephen, who just has to be sweet to everyone.

“You don’t need to apologize,” he says kindly, “just take care of yourself, okay?

“Yeah. You too.” You squeeze his hand again and then head out, beginning your aimless walk around the grounds.

The moon is shining brightly, an unwanted beacon to the despair brewing inside you. Truthfully, you’re spiralling, and you haven’t spiralled in years, not since you decided to take control of your life. There’d been no trigger then, or maybe life itself had been the trigger, and you’d holed yourself up in your room as your head spun out of control. Cheesy questions like what am i doing here and what is my purpose and am i ever going to do anything meaningful rose to your mind then, and they do again now.

Back then, you’d decided that the answer simply lied outside of Stohess. You still believe that, to an extent. Going back isn’t going to solve anything, but...what did leaving accomplish? Your desires are fulfilled, but there’s no purpose to any of this. Not when people were and still are dying out there. Is the only way forward to dedicate yourself to the noble cause of saving humanity? There mustn't be a person alive who can give themselves that goal and actually hope to achieve it.

Well, except one.

This time, you’re the one who finds him.

He’s standing by his horse, stroking the fur gently. Somehow you’ve walked all the way to the stables without realizing. You take a step back, intending to walk away, but the selfish part of you that you’re starting to loathe doesn’t let you go any further than that. You’ve missed him, so much. You’ve missed his bad attitude, his amused smiles, his tantalizing gaze. You want it back, selfishness and selflessness all be damned. Now that he’s here in front of you, it’s too hard to resist.

“Lieutenant.”

Levi looks at you, and his shoulders droop as he stares wearily. He looks like he’s aged several years, and you consider that he probably doesn’t want to see you right now.

“Sorry to disturb you.” You take a deep breath, willing your hands to stay still by your sides and stop clenching. “Were you going for a ride?”

“Yeah.” He takes in the sight of you and then lets out the slightest of sighs. “Do you want to come?”

“What?”

Never in a million years did you expect him to offer going on a horse ride with you, and never in a billion years did you expect yourself to want to accept. You’re so taken aback that it doesn’t occur to you to note the little stool he’s using to hike himself up (as though he can’t pull himself on - it’s a formality more than anything). Levi’s looking at you, waiting for an answer, hand outstretched like he’s actually trying to live up to the fucking prince charming title you’ve given him.

“Okay,” you agree softly, not really knowing what the hell else you’re supposed to do.

You take his hand and he helps you on - really unnecessary, you can get on a horse by yourself - and you swallow when you realize he’s placed you in front. If he wants, he can observe your every reaction to him, and see...well, you don’t know what he’ll see or what you’ll do, but you know it’s not anything you’re willing to show him.

He gets on behind you, an arm snaking around your waist before he instructs you to hold onto the saddle tightly.

Neither of you speak. The horse trots peacefully, never going too fast. The poor thing’s probably done enough running to last it a lifetime. You caress the fur gently as you enter the forest, the moon now cloaked by the towering trees, stealing away your capacity for sight. It’s not something you inherently mind, honestly, it feels good to just close your eyes and relax.

But deep under the guilt and midlife crisis (probably more than midlife given the world you live in), you’re still you. And you get restless easily, not to mention you’ve been craving a conversation with Humanity’s Strongest Soldier, and you don’t want to pass up the chance.

“How bad was it?”

Okay, maybe not the conversation started you should have chosen.

“Bad,” Levi answers without much hesitation, “really bad.” He releases a shaky breath and on impulse you place your hand over his, immediately feeling awkward right after. Do you grip his fingers? Pat him in a show of solidarity? You don’t know, so you don’t do anything, but you don’t remove your hand either.

After a beat, he says, “I was wrong.”

You wrack your brain about what he could be wrong about. Maybe about asking you to come with him just now. Your company hasn’t exactly been what you would call pleasant.

“About what, sir?”

When Levi responds, you feel his hot breath on your neck and you barely stop yourself from shuddering. He shouldn’t be in such close proximity to you. Doesn’t he know what he does to you when he gets this close?

“I said I wanted to see the day that smile got wiped off your face. Now that the day’s here, I wish I could take it back.”

You whip your head around, not even bothering to make sure you don’t accidentally hit him. Luckily you don’t, even though he’s not far from you at all, just a centimeter closer and the tip of your nose would touch his. In the dark, you can barely make him out, but the grey eyes that have fascinated you for so long are discernible even without any light. He’s watching you, so intently that your face burns up, and you pray to whoever’s up there that he can’t see you too well without the moonlight.

But can anyone blame you? Lieutenant Levi, the man who’d punished you for smiling, was now claiming that he missed the very smile that had made you the bane of his existence. You can’t chalk it up to his usual mood swings, because you know it’s not that. You know he’s trying to tell you something, and you’re so close to figuring it out.

You don’t even flinch when his finger curls under your chin and tilts it up just a bit so he can appreciate the view properly.

Even in the dark, you know his lips are just a mere inch away from yours. You wonder what he tastes like.

No.

You turn back around, heart pounding wildly in your chest. It’s wildly inappropriate to think about doing something like that. You can’t, not when he’s your trainer and lieutenant and humanity’s savior. Whatever this is, you have to reel it in control.

“I can’t,” you say, and then quickly clarify so he doesn’t get the wrong idea, “I can’t smile. Not when so much has happened. How can I smile when people...when they’re out there...when you and the rest of the soldiers have sacrificed everything and I’ve done nothing?”

It’s not as though you expect him to give you the most motivational speech in the world, but when he answers, “You’re going to sacrifice plenty in the future,” you feel overwhelmed with guilt, and you just want it to stop. He doesn’t know. Doesn’t know your plans, your motivations, or why you’re here at all. He thinks you’re someone that you’re really, truly not.

But you’re not brave enough to tell him any of that. So you opt for the other truth, the less relevant but equally as pressing one.

“I’m not strong enough.”

“No,” Levi murmurs in agreement, “but you’re going to be.” Both his arms are curled around you, and there’s something uplifting in his tone when he says, “4 AM tomorrow, understood?”

Just like that, your goal changes.

If the lieutenant thinks that you can actually be useful, then maybe...maybe you actually can. You’ve somehow gotten in the top ten without even meaning to, so it’s not too much of a stretch to think you could be really good if you actively tried. And he’s still willing to train you - even after all that’s happened, he doesn’t consider you an added bother to his already difficult life. And you plan to value that, now. You’re going to get better, stronger, faster. No more passivity. And maybe if you do this, you can ease the guilt brewing inside before you completely drown in it.

“Yes, sir.”

Determination has risen back inside you, but a ghost of a smile only reappears on your face when you hear him yawn, something you’re one hundred percent sure you’ve never seen nor heard before.

“Are you actually sleepy, Lieutenant?” you tease quietly, “it’s not even 11 PM yet.”

“You should be happy,” he mutters, “all your efforts trying to chase away my insomnia and it’s finally worked.”

If not for the trees providing you safety in the form of the absence of light, you wouldn’t be as bold to do what you do next. Closing your eyes, you lean back and hunch down, resting your cheek against his chest. He stiffens a little at the close contact, but doesn’t say anything or push you away. You won’t kiss him, but you can allow yourself this much, just to seek comfort in the safety he provides just by being there. He’s so, so warm.

The horse rides on, and Levi keeps his arms around you and on the reigns.

Truthfully, as you listen to his heartbeat, you don’t think you’ll ever know who comforts who most tonight.

____________________

The next morning, you’re there before he is, on your fourth lap by the time he walks up. If Levi’s surprised, he doesn’t show it. He only takes his new spot on the new grounds at this new base, and watches you from afar.

Naturally, he still barks at you that your stance is sloppy when you start doing your squats, asking you snidely how many times he’s told you that you need to squat down at a ninety degree angle and just what you did in your early mathematics classes if that’s what you think ninety degrees is. He still presses you into the ground with his foot when you attempt to do a push-up without going all the way down. And he absolutely still withholds your water privileges until you’re practically dizzy from your activities.

Except this time, you have no complaints. You do what you’re ordered.

And maybe stop to give him one or two pointed glares.

When he dismisses you, you find that you’ve still got a bit of energy left. You’re certainly not sleepy.

“Will you spar with me?”

Levi raises a brow, unimpressed. “So you can get your ass handed to you again?”

“I’ve improved!” you cry out indignantly.

“Oh yeah, you’ve made great strides.” He snorts, digging his heel into the ground and raising his fists. “Okay, (L/N), give me your best shot.”

With Lieutenant Levi, the thing that matters most is the element of surprise. Last time, you went for his legs, so he’ll see that coming. You quickly scan his stance - how is it that you two have spent so much time together and you still haven’t located a single weakness of his? Not that that’s what you’re doing anymore, but it would sure be helpful in a fight. Needless to say, you need to think fast.

So before either of you can move, you cry out in pain, clutching your side. “Shit! I - I think I pulled a muscle - ow, fuck -”

Levi’s beside you in an instant, hand reaching down to inspect your stomach. Damn, you’re a better actor than you give yourself credit for. As soon as he reaches out, you grab his bicep with both your hands, plant your feet, and yank up as hard as you can.

No, you probably can’t throw him over your shoulder. But you can at least try to whirl him around you and then tackle him while he tries to regain his balance.

Well, you could if Levi didn’t twist his arm out of your grasp within a single second and grab you in a chokehold.

“Playing dirty, are we?” he whispers in your ear, “naughty girl, I should keep you here an extra hour just for that.”

Gasping for breath, you pat his elbow repeatedly in defeat. Surrender, you surrender! After holding on to lord his victory over you just a little longer, he lets you go, and you suck air into your lungs desperately.

He doesn’t make you stay any longer, but nonetheless, you certainly lose your brawl. How disappointing.

“I’ll...get you...next time…”

Levi’s lips quirk into what can be taken for a smile. “No, you won’t.”

“Yes I will!”

____________________

You lose the next time.

____________________

And the next time.

____________________

And the next.

____________________

It’s a whole two months later when Ricky laughs again.

There’s nothing funny about the situation at all - everyone is freezing their ass off in the middle of nowhere and questioning just how surviving a snowy mountain is going to improve their combat skills. No one was brave enough to ask this question before, though, so now all they can do is deal with it. The problem is that your group is definitely lost.

“Well, this is great,” Gunther groans, sinking on his knees into the snow. You wonder how he can handle the cold biting past his clothes and into his skin.

Ophelia, who’s been pessimistic since the beginning, seems to take this as her permission to sling her bag off and completely give up. “We’re going to die up here.”

You huff. “We’re not going to die, but yeah, we’re gonna lose some merit. They’ll probably send a search party by morning.”

“T-tell us, (F/N),” Gunther says in that smarmy tone of his that makes you pity his parents, “how exactly are we going to make it till morning? You got a fur coat hiding away in those custom boots?”

Ophelia snorts and you narrow your eyes at him. “If I did, I wouldn’t share it. And they’re not custom, it’s actually a very popular brand item.”

“Well, mind trading with me? All I have are these ratty ones.”

“I do mind, actually.”

Ricky hasn’t said anything, only observed your interactions with a blank expression. You let out a pained breath, filled with disdain at seeing your precious oxygen visibly. Yeah, you’ve decided you’re not a fan of the cold, not one bit. You’re already one of those people who is cold all the time, and this isn’t really helping. Apparently no one has any idea, and although Gunther was assigned team leader, you decide to step in.

“We have two options.” You hug yourself, rubbing your arms in an unsuccessful attempt to warm up. “We could try to find some shelter and stay alive till morning, or…” You sigh, not really a fan of all the work that goes into option two, but it’s still the one you’re leaning towards. “Or we get our shit together and find out how to get back to the cabin tonight.”

You’ve got something to prove, after all.

Ophelia’s teeth are chattering as she says, “W-where the h-hell will we find shelter out here?”

“Nowhere. That’s why we’re gonna go with the other idea.”

“Someone’s eager to hold onto her position,” Gunther accuses, “even if it means sacrificing her team!”

“Oh my God, who am I sacrificing? Who have I sacrificed so far? No one!”

“Yet!”

You make a rude gesture and stalk off on your own. The others call after you, but only Ricky follows, grabbing your shoulder before you misstep and tumble into the icy ground. You groan loudly, this is so not how the night was supposed to go. You have to make it back.

“You’ve changed,” Ricky says all of a sudden. “I’ve known that for a while, and I know that we all have, but you’ve done a complete turnaround. I mean…” He hesitates, considering his words carefully. You wonder if he knows that just by doing that, he’s showing that he’s changed quite a bit too. “You would have decided to give up on this by now. So what’s the deal?”

Honestly, it’s surprising that it’s taken him this long to ask. Nonetheless, these days you’re glad to hear Ricky speak at all, so anything he says is welcome. That doesn’t mean you know how to answer his question, though.

“Like you said, we’ve all changed. I just decided to…” You trail off and shiver, rubbing your hands together.

“Give a shit?”

You give him a weak smile. “Yeah.”

Ricky nods, looking satisfied enough with the answer. There’s a slight shift in his expression as he peers at you. “It’s not out of pity, right?” When you look confused, he clarifies. “Not out of pity for me. I know I don’t matter that much to you - I just mean, if you feel bad for everything that’s happened, to everyone, you shouldn’t.”

Scoffing, you glare at him, with crossed arms. “Who said you don’t matter to me?”

“Do I?” He grins, looking genuinely surprised. “Me, the outer city peasant?”

This time you allow yourself to speak without thinking. Sometimes, the moment just calls for it. “Yeah, well, we rich folk have to do some charity work sometimes.”

That’s when Ricky laughs, and oh, how you’ve missed the sound. He throws his head back, looking up to the sky like he’s praying. Snowflakes coat his cheeks, and when he looks back at you, his eyes are bright, and he’s gazing at you in the same way you’re sure he once gazed at his poor, lovely little sister who couldn’t make it long enough to see her brother step up and become a hero of humanity.

Then he grabs your arm, yanking you forward.

“Come on, twerp.” He ignores your protests that his hand is freezing. “Let’s get you off this mountain.”

____________________

Okay, Petra definitely knows that you’re trying to compete with her for the number one position. She’s just too nice to say anything, so the two of you just silently try to outdo each other in every which way. Teacher asks a question in class? Either your hand or her’s will fly up right away. Grumman walks by? Well, the two of you are saluting faster than anyone else can even ball their fist. There’s an advanced exercise at 2 PM? You both finished your exercises early and are there at 1:30.

You’re not even sure when you started competing with her, but here you are.

And to be fair, you’re neck and neck with the star student. In classes, you’re basically equal, her because she works hard and studies and you because you retain information well and can play suck up rather well. As for hand to hand combat, you pretty much top your entire Cadet Corp except maybe Traute. When people are paired up to train to steal the knife from each other, no one ever wants to partner up with you (which both hurts and is rather flattering). Yeah, in a fight, you’re pretty much secure. It’s the 3D maneuvering where Petra has you beat.

Now, you’re not bad at using your ODM gear, not by any means. She’s just a damn natural. Any maneuver that takes you five days to pull off is one she can manage in three. A part of you wishes that she actually was a horrible person - then you could at least use your dislike of her as a motivator to beat her. Alas, you’re quite fond of the other girl.

These complaints are what you find yourself telling Levi one morning, after requesting that he watch you fly through the forest. Nowadays it wasn’t entirely unusual for you to stay past 6 AM, either doing extra training or just talking to him. He’d complied, and you’d gotten gear for the both of you to use in the forest.

Seeing him in action only serves to make you even more grouchy about your own skills. Levi’s already fast enough on his feet; with the ODM gear he seems nearly invincible and you have an inkling he’s not performing to the best of his abilities just to monitor you. When you finally tire yourself out, you grumpily toss the gear off, head out into the grass, check for bugs and flop down onto your back once you’re sure it’s safe. “I don’t get it,” you moan unhappily, “why can’t I do it as well as you can?”

Levi steps in front of you, his head blocking out the rising sun. Ah, perfect. “It’s because you enjoy it too much.”

“Oh, is that your professional diagnosis?”

He sucks in a long breath, which you know translates to you’re so fucking difficult, damn shitty brat. “My professional diagnosis is that you’re a dumbass.”

“Aww, thanks, sir! But I only take medical advice from licensed professionals.”

Levi notes your position and moves out of the way to allow the sun to blind you. You wince, squinting in the sunlight, and your hand comes up to shield your poor eyes. Averting your gaze, you peer straight up. In the middle of spring, from the open grounds down below, the clouds have never looked more beautiful.

“Wanna lay down with me? It’s therapeutic. The grass feels great.” You beckon him down next to you, but he shakes his head, instead choosing to deliver a small kick to your side. You hiss - someone seriously needs to do something about the lieutenant’s violent tendencies.

“Do you think I’m doing this so you can look at the pretty sky?”

Tossing your arm over your eyes, you say, “No, you’re doing this because you’re interested in me.”

The sound that Levi lets out is so strangled that you immediately look at him, concerned. He turns away from you for a second, scoffing with his cheeks tinted slightly red, and that’s when you realize he took your statement in an entirely wrong way. You’re a bit offended nonetheless, he doesn’t have to act like it’s disgusting to even think about you in that way. People have been interested in you! It’s happened, you’re a delight! He’s just blind, that’s all.

“I meant interested in me as a subordinate.” You sit up, knees hunched to your chest. “Now that Commander Erwin is in charge, everyone knows you’re going to get promoted soon too. Get a whole squad all to yourself.” Grinning at him, you let your palms rest on the blades of grass beneath you. “Hunting for your own lieutenant, Captain Levi?”

Huh. The title rolls right off the tongue. It suits him pretty well.

He looks at you strangely for a second, before holding his hand out. As you tug yourself up, he mutters, “Please, if I was going to have a lieutenant, I’d need someone competent.”

“Well,” you drawl, not bothered, “I’m not interested anyways.” At least there, you’re being truthful. Even if the thought makes you feel ashamed.

You and him continue to bicker as you walk across the grounds to put the gear back in the shed. While you don’t exactly walk slowly, you don’t go at your fastest pace either, itching to prolong the time that the two of you share. A stark contrast to the first few weeks you trained with him, when all you could think about was going back to bed. Now, nearly a year and a half later, you’re not sleepy, you’re not angry, and you don’t hate him.

When it’s time to part ways, you pretend as though you’re studying him carefully.

“What?” Levi snaps, but there’s no bite to his bark.

“I stand by what I said earlier, about you wanting a lieutenant.” A small smirk spreads on your lips. “But I also think you just have a crush on me.”

He stares at you. A second passes. Two seconds.

Three seconds.

You burst out laughing, hitting his shoulder. “You should see your face! Did you think I was serious?”

He looks at you with his eyes narrowed crossly, only serving to make you laugh louder.

“Minx,” he finally says, shaking his head, “a fucking minx is what you are, (L/N).”

____________________

“It’s raining!”

The excitement with which you squeal those words has nearly everyone rolling their eyes, but they follow you out anyways. It’s nice of them to abandon their lunch for this momentous occasion, rain during the summertime. You feel a rush of love for your fellow cadets, specifically for the three people who are right besides you. Of course you’ve always considered Millie your best friend, but Ricky and Stephen had filled a piece of your soul that you didn’t know was empty. This is your family, and you love them.

“Stephen!” Millie’s voice comes, scolding next to you. “Are you serious?”

“What?”

“He still doesn’t know what regiment he wants to join.”

“Leave him alone,” Ricky asserts, taking a swipe at her that she ducks.

“I know what I want to join,” Stephen mumbles, “I’m just not sure…”

Somehow, you know exactly what he’s considering. The rain gives you courage.

“The Scouts are wonderful.” Stephen turns to you, surprised, and you let out a giddy laugh. “They’re amazing. Brave, and heroic, and they kick ass. You’d do really well there, Stephen.”

You’re rambling, but by some miracle, Stephen takes your words to heart and makes his decision.

“Okay,” he says, with a wide smile on his face. “I’ll join the Scouts.”

Ricky coughs into his fist, something that sounds suspiciously like kiss ass. You’re too enthralled by your current environment to notice that, or Millie’s disapproving glare.

Bathing in the rain, you spin around until you’re dizzy. Droplets pour down your face, soaking your hair, your uniform, and you couldn’t be more thrilled. This, really, is what happiness is. The chance to fool around in the rainfall, to throw your hands up and feel precisely just how little of a speck you are in the vast, wide world. Slipping a hand into your bun, you let your hair down, closing your eyes as you soak up the thrill.

Everyone is chattering in groups around you. No one is mourning the lunch that has been long forgotten in the mess hall.

There’s grey eyes watching you when you open yours, a fond smile that you think he probably let slip past the tough exterior on his face. No one can resist this weather.

Maybe third time’s the charm. Even if it’s not, it doesn’t hurt to try, right?

You raise your hand and wave at him.

From the distance, still watching you closely, Levi sighs softly and then waves back.

Something you’ve never felt before bubbles up in your chest. It threatens to consume you as the others become a blur in the precipitation around you. You feel light on your feet, almost as though you’re not even touching the ground anymore. Affection? Adoration? For him?

Maybe it’s because of the stupid way he holds his teacup. Or maybe it’s the way he looks at you like you’re the funniest, most ridiculous person he’s ever met. It might be how his touch always lingers, how he’s always warm, and how he never fails to catch you when you stumble. How about that dumb cravat, why is he always wearing that?

His sarcastic quips, always ready to fire back at you. The way he brushed your tears away that time he’d found you crying. How he never pushes you to open up more than you want to, and how truthful he is. The feeling you get when he smiles or laughs at you, knowing it’s a rarity for him. His eyes, a blend of silver and charcoal that you could stare into for hours and still never get tired of.

It’s here, dancing in the summer rain, that you realize something that really should have been painfully obvious. There’s a reason you notice all these things. There’s a reason your heart is fluttering right now. There’s a reason that time has frozen, and there’s a reason you feel like you’re floating a thousand miles up in the air.

It’s because you like him. You really, really like him.

Oh, shit.

reader on her first day: wow levi’s eyes are beautiful

reader whenever levi is in front of her: damn he is so alluring

reader every time levi so much as glances at her: does he like me?

reader for two years: if levi asked me to have sex with him i would

also reader: omg i have a crush on him??? how is that possible?????

falling for a guy just because he finally waved back at you after like sixteen months is kinda weird but you do you girl.

one chapter left! :O

[babyloposts]

RoseBud

My Hero Academia Gang AU

Pairing(s): Sero Hanta x fem!reader

Warnings: language, drug use, explicit content, sexual themes, gang imagery, violence

Summary: a simple crush on a guy quickly turns south as you become wrapped up in an unsafe life of lies, drugs, and violence. What happens when you become a key player in a war between to rival gangs and have to deal with a complicated love life all at the same time.

—————————————————

0.5

You stayed occupied on your phone until Hatsume returned to finish up the details of your already sore rose. In the time it took for her to do whatever business she had with those boys, your numbing cream had began to wear off.

The tension in the room was thick. The previously care-free energy Hatsume possessed was replaced with a melancholic and faraway stare in her eyes.

“Alright babe I’m all done. Remember to clean the skin with a gentle anti-bacterial soap and use alcohol-free moisturizer alright.” There was a feigned happiness in Hatsume’s voice, but her eyes said it all. Whatever Bakugou had done to her, whatever he and the red head had taken from her must have dampened her mood more than the threat from earlier.

You nodded to Hatsume and she took her leave as you were re-dressing. Luckily the top you wore was a light fabric and didn’t rub against your tattoo too much, but you could tell, this was going to hurt in the morning.

Walking back into the main lobby you only found Sero. No Bakugou, Hatsume, or mysterious Red Head to be found. You wanted to be happy to see Sero, but the look on his face and the mark on his face were more than enough to dampen your mood.

“Sero, oh my God!” He cringed as your finger lightly danced over his bruised cheekbone. Your hand flew to him without even thinking. Quickly you whipped it back and silently scolded yourself for your overbearing nature. “I’m sorry I-”

“Don’t apologize. It’ll only make me feel worse about getting punched in the face.” He chuckled, but your expression never faltered. The worry was there and it wasn’t going anywhere. Your brain was rattling with questions of ‘why?’ and ‘what happened?’, but as soon as you even fixed your mouth to speak Sero was cutting you off with the sharp movement of rising to his feet.

“Let me drive you home. It’s late.” Without checking for a change in your face or any confirmation he turned to leave the shop, trusting that you had fallen instep behind him.

The car ride to your apartment didn’t answer any lingering questions either. The only sounds that graced your ears was the buzzing of the engine and the light sounds of J. Cole songs emanating from the stereo. Sero periodically asked for vague directions to your side of town, but surprisingly he found your small complex with ease.

“Thank you.” You sighed as he shifted the car into park. The car ride may have been soothing, but the fear for your new friend’s well-being never once left your gut.

“Don’t thank me. It’s the gentlemanly thing to do. And I pride myself on being a pretty nice guy.” The smile graced easily over his face as if he didn’t have a giant bruise forming under his eye. Your expression remained unmoving, your friend full of wonder as to what he was hiding from you. Yea, you had just officially met Sero tonight and he really isn’t obligated to tell you anything personal, but he was acting like none of that crazy shit just happened.

Sero chuckled, breaking through your bewildered inner monologue to move around and open your car door for you. “Alright, this is the part where you go home. Not that I’m trying to get rid of you.” He winked.

“R-right.” You get out of the car and start to your apartment. This didn’t feel right, the energy was too weird. You knew in the back of your mind that Denki was right. He had said Sero was a good guy and you’d be in good hands with him and he was right. Sero was probably trying to protect you from whatever shady business he was apart of, but you couldn’t leave this “date” where it was. You made it about half way to the door to enter the lobby of the building before you spun on your heels and placed your hands firmly on your hips. Sero was watching you as he leisurely leant on the hood of his black muscle car. Totally unbothered as you had come to expect.

“You’re not leaving here without me checking you out.” You said with all the gusto you could muster.

“Go ahead. I’m standing right here.” He smirked and drank you in with his eyes.

“Stop being an idiot and come upstairs with me. I can’t go to sleep tonight knowing that I just let you leave here with a black eye and I didn’t even offer you an ice-pack.”

“If you wanted me to come up to your apartment with you, you didn’t have to make up an excuse.” He punctuated his sentence with the chirp of his car doors locking and jogged up next to you.

“What happened to you being a gentleman?” You snorted.

“I can’t ever turn down an offer like that from you. I’ll take my chances.” He grinned slyly. You rolled your eyes trying to act like his charm wasn’t getting to you.

Sero followed you into the elevator and into your apartment. It was quaint and homey and smelled of bergamot incense. Luckily you had cleaned up a few days ago and your apartment was presentable to guests.

“You can sit on the couch I’ll get you some ice and a damp rag.” Without checking to see if he even listened to your instructions you busied yourself hopping from room to room of your apartment to gather the supplies to help his worsening bruise. Once you were back in the living room you instinctively pressed the makeshift ice-pack to Sero’s eye causing him to wince.

“That’s what you get for getting yourself beat up because of me.” You huffed.

“What do you mean? I didn’t-”

“I heard what he said Sero. That blond guy was yelling at Hatsume saying that you left the club before you were supposed to and he had to finish the job for you. You told me that you were done for the night. I wouldn’t have cared if we stayed longer.”

“I didn’t get beat up for you.” Softly, your hand was removed from in front of his eye. With Sero’s vision no longer obscured he could see the look of guilt clear as fat on your face. “I chose to leave. I was gonna do what needed to get done regardless, but my boss has little faith in me I guess. He sent his guard dog after me instead of trusting that I know how to get shit done.” Sero grumbled at the end. That seemed to have put him off. It was the one time his chill façade had faded that night.

“So... taking me to Hatsume was an excuse?”

Quickly the charm was back and he was reassuring you that you were priority number one. “No. Well kind of. I still wanted you to have a good time, but I would have had to see Hatsume tonight anyway. So, two birds and all that.” He shrugged.

With the ice pack now back on his face you started again, you found it was easier to speak your mind this way. No seductive eyes to sway the conversation. “Okay. But still. You should have checked in with whoever to avoid all this.” You gestured to his face.

“This happens more often than you think.”

“Sero. Be serious please.” You sighed. “You didn’t need to get hurt indirectly because of me. I’m not gonna ask what you or Bakugou needed from Hatsume, because obviously it wasn’t tattoo related, but can you at least promise me that you won’t leave working just to hang with me?”

“So there’s gonna be a next time.” His eyebrows wiggled, taunting you.

You stammered. You didn’t mean to sound presumptuous, but you were hoping he would want to go out with you again. “I mean yeah, I thought tonight was fun, all things considering.”

“Yeah? Me too.” His hand began to snake to your thigh that was now exposed to him as your skirt hiked up from your sitting position. The hand was comforting reminding you of the comfort you got from him earlier that night in the car.

“I-“ Your throat all of a sudden felt so dry. Clearing uncomfortably, you began again. “I don’t know if this is really gentlemanly.” You chuckled. Sero’s gaze at you did not falter for a second. His eyes were hazy and his eyelids dropped. The look in his eyes drew you in and you dropped the ice-pack from his face.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t keep my eyes off you. You’re beautiful.” You smiled as the compliment. Again the compliment on your beauty was unfamiliar, but greatly appreciated.

“Thank you... but I-” Your protests were quickly silenced by the force of his lips pressing against yours.

Like ice against a flame you melted into the kiss automatically. Your lips mended together perfectly. His felt rough, slightly chapped, but the way he moved in rhythm with you caused you to swoon. You were both drunk on each other’s touch. His hands roamed you lower body and rested on your waist, while you explored his hair and massaged his scalp with your finger tips.

A firm squeeze to your upper thigh elicited a gasp from your lips breaking the kiss and allowing Sero just enough time to slip your blouse over your head. What a pleasant surprise it was to find you without a bra on to obstruct his view. “Nice tat.” He smirked.

To avoid the embarrassment bubbling in your chest you shut him up this time by climbing into his lap and resuming the kiss where you had left off. In this position he had free reign of your body. His hands explored every inch of your legs, ass, and back.

You were a frustrated moaning and groaning into his mouth which only made him want to touch you more. Those intimate sounds making him harden beneath you.

Sero was undeniably sexy. You had fantasized about being with him before you really knew him, but everything went beyond your expectations. The way his rough hands felt against your body, the way his tongue and lips felt tangling with yours and his scent. It was a strong mix of cologne, weed, and something almost sickeningly sweet. You could have sworn it was...

Cherry Blossoms.

As if I’ve cold water had been poured on you, you ended your make out session with your crush prematurely.

“What happened?” Sero finally showed some other emotion. A mix of curiosity and worry.

You panicked how could you explain this. “Sero... you- you don’t want me.”

“The fuck are you on? Of course I want you.” His eyes flicked down taking in the sight of you bare chested and sitting on his straining erection.

“No you don’t. I’m sorry but, it’s my quirk that’s making you like me.”

“Huh?”

previous|next

Masterlist

Taglist: @black-bhabie-2000

[thepaperpanda]

~WHEN THE PARTICLE OF GOD PERMEATES YOU~  || Part I

Summary: Without the past you can't understand the present. You meet Higgs Monaghan on your way. Will he help you find out about your past or will he try to use you for his own purposes?

Warnings: Smut

Words: 6305

Authors: Cass & Rouge

A/N: This is little gift for our birthday girl! @porgsandtheirplace​ We hope you will like it!

It's cold outside. A fearfully cold wind blew from north, it quickly became unbearable. It indicated unstable weather. You felt it was about to rain.

With no memory of your former life, you walked along the muddy path, dressed only in a skintight suit and combat boots, with an old, leather jacket wrapped around your shoulders.

You heard something that sounded like thunder, so you ran forward as you spotted a mountain in the east; it didn't seem too far and you knew you had to make it there.

As soon as you entered the cave, the timefall started pouring down and another thunder rumbled loudly among the mountains.

Breathing shakily, you got further into the cave, only to sit on the stone floor and pulled knees under your chin, shivering all over your body. You let a sigh, noticing the steam of your breath forming in the cold air.

Higgs forced two members of the Homo Demens to go and find a lost package filled with explosives. Apparently, Fragile’s people were shitty enough to lose it in the middle of nowhere.

"You sure this is the place?" A voice from the depth of the cave asked.

"Higgs said so," another male voice snapped back.

"Well, we better find that shit or our asses will go as high as the fucking sky and I am not keen on it."

Two men emerged from the shadows of the cold corridor, they both stopped and looked at you.

"Well, well! And who do we have here?,” One asked and the other chuckled.

"A little, lost girl? Did you get wet outside?"

You quickly got back to your feet, a cold shiver ran along your spine and you trembled all over your body. "Leave me alone, I didn't do anything," you told them and took two steps back. "I'm just sheltering from the rain. Don't hurt me."

Men looked at each other and laughed loudly.

"Oh, don't hurt me!," One mocked and looked at this friend. "Shall we not hurt her?"

The other man walked up to you to take a good look at your features.

"I don't know. She is nice and young, we could have some fun with her or just throw her outside and watch her die. That would be fun, too," man hummed and grabbed you by your hair, pulling you closer to the entrance of the cave. "What do you say, sweetheart? Is it time for a shower?"

"No, no, no!," You begged and immediately sank to your knees. "Please, don't hurt me, I didn't do anything! Please! I'll do everything, just don't let me die!"

Your heart was beating strongly within your chest.

"You will do anything? Oh, really? That's good to know, little one. This is your lucky day then!," The guy said, pulling you further into the cave, away from the deadly rain. Another man immediately joined him.

"You see, little one, we haven't had a woman in some time. You could be useful, I wonder what ya hiding under these clothes," Other man said, easily opening your jacket.

"We will have some fun and we will kill you after."

"No, please don't...," You breath hitched and you turned your head aside when one of the men tried to kiss you. You tried to reach your backpack that was still attached to your back to pull your handy knife out.

Higgs appeared in the cave out of nowhere as always. He easily found the missing box and went to find the two men who worked for him. "The fuck you two are doing? Is it really so hard to find a damn thing?!," He roared at two men who immediately stepped away from you. Higgs frowned looking at the additional person. "Seriously? You are busy with a girl but not with the task you had to perform?," He growled, throwing the box at one of the men. "Take it to the camp, pronto."

When both men scrambled away in fear of their leader, Higgs offered you a brief grin. "Ah! They ran like cowards which they are but they are kinda useful. Who do we have here?," He asked, grabbing your chin to take a look at your face.

You held your breath back but let him grab your chick. "I didn't do anything, sir... I just sheltered from rain when they...," You went quiet. "Don't kill me... Don't kill me, please," you closed your eyes shut.

"I will break those fuckers’ necks for not letting me know they found you here, girl. Despite you aren't the bomb we looked for, they should have fucking let me know," Higgs growled checking your face. "You look healthy, pretty even. How about I give you a shelter, huh? What do you say for that?"

You swallowed hard and quickly nodded. "Would you be so kind to shelter me? But... How will I repay?," You asked hesitantly. "I don't have much. Everything is in my backpack," quickly pulling stripes of the backpack off you handled it to him.

Higgs took your backpack and shook it a little, it was really light what meant you didn't own a lot. He was getting more and more curious about what's your story, how a creature like you ended up in the middle of nowhere with nothing. "Nah, we will see what we can do about it, girl. Now, c'mon, you don't want to end up outside, right? Let's get you to a dry place," he shrugged, tossing the backpack to you.

You grabbed it and pressed to your chest, nodding. "Promise you won't hurt me," you asked with a shaking voice.

Higgs chuckled and bowed in front of you. "Crossin’ on my heart, if I have one," he shrugged and pulled you closer. In the blink of an eye, both of you were in some kind of a camp, in one of the tents. "Welcome to my camp. Make yourself at home, girl," Higgs almost sang, moving away from you. "This place will be safe for you as long as I say so."

You sank to your knees. You didn't know how in a blink of an eye you found yourself in another place, in a huge tent filled with maps, documents and other things. You gagged yourself, you almost vomited and your head spinned around. "How...?," You whispered, trying to cool down.

Higgs sighed and rolled his eyes, looking at your pathetic state. "You know, it would be fucking amazing if you would be kind enough to not fucking vomit all over my floor," he slowly pulled you up. "Breathe, girl, I didn't bring you here so you die on me."

You nodded, still pressing the backpack to your chest. "I'm sorry....I just... It made me dizzy. I'm sorry," you whispered and thanked him for helping you back on your feet.

He patted your cheek with a grin on his lips. "Atta girl, ya see? It's not that hard. You don't need to keep that so close," Higgs took the backpack from you, using just a little bit of force. He placed it next to the cot. "I need to go now. You can rest and try to not die here, just in case."

You gave him a nod. As soon as he vanished leaving a little cloud of dust, you took a closer look around the place you found yourself into.

The whole place was flooded with the light coming from a lamp hung from the ceiling. You walked closer to a board on which you found some handwritten notes about Bridges and Fragile companies. Only then you started realizing that you found yourself in a very wrong place, which triggered another shiver.

To warm yourself up, you rubbed your shoulders and palms. Indeed, you weren't exposed to the deadly rain so in that matter you felt slightly better but still you kept in mind what his comrades had wanted to do to you.

Not knowing what to do, you sat in the corner of the tent, once again pulling knees under your shaking chin. You peeked outside and sighed sadly noticing the rain was even stronger than before.

Higgs returned to you as soon as he was done with his other shady businesses. He didn't really expect to see you, half asleep, sitting in the corner with knees pulled to your chin. "You know, I work with many idiots but I hoped for you to be the smart one here, girl," Higgs said simply, taking a seat on the desk. "So, sweetheart. Not to be nosy and all that shit but why the fuck were you there? All alone? In such a place? And what's your name anyway?"

As he woke you up, you rubbed your eyes briefly. "I...," You whispered and got up. Rubbing your shoulder, you swallowed and nodded. "I don't remember how I got outside. I can't remember anything before the moment I woke up on the grass. And... My name's Y/N."

"Well, that's fucked up," Higgs summed up, laughing at the short story and answer, then he grabbed your backpack and simply opened it to dig through your belongings. Soon he pulled out the lace panties. "Oh, you are a noughty girl, aren't you? That's fucking cute," he said with a mocking laughter.

You observed him with wide opened eyes, huge blush crept into your cheeks as you watched him playing with your panties. "You shouldn't be touching them... It's my property...," You instructed him.

"Like I would fucking care what your property is. You are in my domain, sweetheart. I wonder how would you look in these," Higgs giggled and continued to dig in your backpack.

You turned your head aside and looked outside; it was still raining. "You're Higgs Monaghan, am I right? I heard some people talking about you."

"That's me, in flesh and bones," Higgs nodded, looking at your bra before stuffing it back inside the backpack. "And you are Y/N. Girl out of nowhere. Now I think what the fuck am I going to do with you. It's not like you are some kind of killing machine and I am not keen on keeping useless people around. At least you have a pretty face."

"T-thank you...," You whispered and walked to him to get your backpack. "I know how to hunt... At least I feel like this."

"So? I don't need a huntress. I don't really need you around at all, honestly." Higgs shrugged. "But you are a pretty face, it's fucking nice to have someone like you around but you can be sure you will get stuff to do to repay for my generosity."

You didn't know how many days had passed by but you had a feeling it was more than a week or two.

You still didn't get used to the fact you were stuck with those people, with more of them giving you nasty glances as soon as you were leaving the tent of Higgs. You were doing your best to ignore all kinds of taunts. Focusing on sketching all the things you saw around, you were spending all day in the nearest forest.

The whole group had mixed feelings about you.

Higgs brought you here, for no reason actually. You just wandered around, doing nothing when others worked their asses off in one way or another.

"Hey kitten! Maybe you would come here and be useful for once! You don't need to be only Higgs' cum sack!," Someone yelled and a few other people laughed loudly. It was normal for others to bother you on a daily basis.

You were passing them with your notebook and pencil in your hands. The last thing you'd wanted was to get in any kind of argument with these people but the comment drove you mad.

Stopping your steps you pushed your hip forward and placed your hand on it, looking directly at the man who dropped the comment. "Oh? Are you talking to me?," You asked the measuring dude with a cold glance from bottom to the top. "I'd even consider this but... Looking at the small bulge in your pants," you tapped your lip with a finger, "I'll pass."

"Well, she is not wrong!," Someone added and everyone laughed. 

"Would you look at that! Our girl finally grew some fucking balls! Finally! Some more time and you will be almost as nasty as I am." Hands were placed on your shoulders, it was no one else but Higgs himself. He looked at everyone in front of you giving them a silent warning to simply return to their duties. "Don't mind those fucker, they have never seen a woman for that long before," the leader hummed, petting your hair like you would be his favorite.

You almost purred into his touch. All the rare moments where he was showing you his attention were making you happy and more confident. "I know I am rather useless," you told him as you moved forward, "But it was me who noticed the porter convoy a few days prior," you reminded him; you tried to manifest that in some moments you were being useful.

"Oh, you sure did, sugar. That’s my girl," he said, randomly resting his chin on the top of your head. Higgs stood with you like this until he realized you were holding a notebook. He quickly grabbed it to take a look. "And what do we have here, huh? Do we have an artist in the camp?"

When he placed his chin on top of your head, you blinked and giggled. As he took your notebook out of your palms, you desperately tried to get it back. "Don't look! It's mine!," You growled looking at his skilled fingers that were moving pages. When his eyes stopped at one point, you came up to the conclusion he found the drawing of him.

Higgs looked at drawing, trying to remember the moment you could even draw it.

"I am an ulgy bastard. I fucking love it! We have a fucking talent among us, I need to say," he tapped the page. "Flatters me."

You smiled lightly and ran with your glance to a group of other men who were staring at the situation.

"The fuck y’all are looking at? Jealous that I get the lady's attention? Get your asses to work," Higgs barked out at everyone. "I swear, you are the only decent person here," Higgs mumbled, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

You glanced back at him; you hated the fact he was always wearing the hood on. Due to this, you weren't ever able to finish your drawing and deep inside you bet he was a handsome man.

You managed to slip the notebook out of his hands. "Hope to see you later," you smiled at him briefly and walked a few steps away. "I'm going to try to help your people around but I swear, none of them will try anything, I'll break their noses." After these words you walked off.

Higgs made a few big steps and after reaching you with ease, grabbed your arm tightly. He shook his head, clicking his tongue with a smile. "Nah, you aren't going anywhere now, sugar. I need to talk with you," Without even listening to any of your complaints Higgs simply forced you to go to his tent with him. He set you in the middle. "You think I am blind, girl?" Higgs almost growled, walking around you in circles.

As surprised and stressed you were, you shook your head in response. "What? I don't understand. I'm not doing anything. I'm not bothering. I'm grateful you let me stay around here, sheltering me," you said firmly, observing him circling around you.

"Oh yeah, yeah, you are grateful," Higgs said, placing hands on his back with a little shrug. He could see how much you tried to get his attention, in one way or another. It was honestly interesting in some way. "Just walking around, trying to do things, drawing me. Ya know, I made up my mind. Time to pay for being here has come."

Blinking in disbelief at his sudden outburst you turned to see him. "I don't understand what you are talking about," you told him with a shrug of your shoulders. "One word and I'll be gone, as soon as I appeared," you assured him while coming up with imagined ways he would want you to pay for his hospitality.

Higgs laughed loudly and stopped to look at you. "You? Gone? And where will you go? Girl with no past nor future, the one that begged me to help her. You want me to believe that you will endanger yourself by going right into BTs or timefall? Don't make me laugh, girl. So? I am waiting to hear your offer," he said, sitting down on the desk. Higgs was ready to see how much you were capable of doing to stay here with him, maybe after all you could be useful in some way. For him at least.

You put your notebook in a little locker and tapped your lips with fingers trying to come up with ideas he was thinking about. "I have no idea. Enlighten me, Higgs," you asked in the end and shivered as you heard timefall starting to pour down. "I don't know what you're expecting me to do," you added quickly. "All I can do is to not pack my ass in any unnecessary troubles which I find very useful for you and your men."

Higgs thought, scratching his bearded cheek. Oh, he got a fucking perfect idea. You could do it or get soaked outside. He gave you one of his wicked smiles and removed the hood from his head. "Undress if ya wanna stay here. We'll have some fun, sugar," Higgs explained, moving closer to you. "Unless you want to get to know BTs personally or get a bit wet and I do not mean down there," he glared at the place between your legs.

You listened to his offer and glared right into his eyes.

As he took the hood off, you came to the conclusion he indeed was a very handsome man. And that in other circumstances you would probably happily flirt with him or maybe even get into a fling.

You swallowed yet took a step forward to him. Climbing in tiptoes you wrapped arms around his neck and placed a kiss to his bearded cheek; you felt a sudden outburst of courage. "Your proposition is pretty interesting yet from these two options I am picking the timefall."

You looked him deeply in his blue eyes and then you turned to grab your backpack.

Higgs nodded. "Fine." He took the zipper of your suit and opened it up, pulling it off of your shoulder, revealing nothing more than a thin tank top. After grabbing you by the arm he started to drag you in an unknown direction. He forced you to walk with him until the two of you were almost outside the whole camp, under the last bit of the roof over your heads.

It started to rain heavily in a second.

"If you are so sure of your choice, go on. I will gladly watch,” Higgs growled, pushing your shoulder gently. "You obey or you die. It’s up to you.”

You were standing like paralyzed.

Few drops of timefall bounced back from the ground and fell on your leg still covered in a skintight suit, leaving greyish stains of where the material got older within the blink of an eye.

You swallowed. "I obey," you whispered, barely moving your lips. "I'll obey."

Higgs smiled. Of course, you would obey. Everyone obeys him so there could be no other outcome for you either. "You see? It wasn't that hard sugar, was it?," He purred right into your ear.

After this, he took you back to his tent. "So, what will you do now? Will you follow my fucking order?," He asked and crossed arms over his chest, waiting for you to do your thing. This all was getting interesting.

As you agreed to obey, you gave him a brief nod and very reluctantly stripped down to your underwear and tank top you were wearing. "Happy now?," You asked him, your brow raised.

He watched the show with a smirk playing on his lips. You were hella pretty, he had to give it to you. In a few quick steps, he approached you, wrapping arms around your waist "Oh, sugar, yes. Very fucking happy. You have no idea how," Higgs purred deeply before crushing his lips against yours in a messy, deep kiss, forcing his tongue past your lips without any permission.

He almost flipped over with you and you did your best to balance your bodies in a stable position. The kiss was too unexpected and messy and when he was kissing you, your eyes were widely opened as you were trying to process what was going on. "Wait, wait," you mumbled as you managed to finally cup his face in your palms. "Easy. Easy. Don't attack me like a starving dog," you instructed him.

Next thing you did was slip your hand into his hair and pull on them lightly, kissing his beautiful lips gently as you climbed on tiptoes.

"Atta girl," Higgs murmured against your lips before kissing you back.

Soon, he picked you up with one arm to move you on the cot. He didn't like it but it was still better than fucking you on the floor. Higgs pulled away right after placing you down, then moved to your neck, placing a few kisses there. After that, he moved down your body, tracing his way with the tip of his tongue.

"Let's see what you hide there, sugar," He hummed once he reached the hem of your tank top, without much of a talking he swiftly pulled it off of you.

You moved your upper body in an attempt to help him with your clothing. Higgs tossed your top aside and in the first second all you wanted to do was to cover your breasts by crossing arms over your chest but he stopped you.

You were too scared to let out a single word so you only watched his actions. His cot was pretty uncomfortable though. "What are you going to do?," You asked simply, your eyes fixed on his.

"Don't hide these beauties, sugar," he winked at you before wrapping his lips around one of your nipples, swirling his tongue around it and sucking it for a moment before turning his attention to the other one to give it the same treatment.

Higgs pulled away to look at you with a smile after a longer moment.

"What do you think? I will fuck this hopefully nice, sweet pussy hard," Higgs explained proudly and used his teeth to slowly remove your panties, pulling on them.

As much as you enjoyed his lips wrapped around your nipples and as many nice feelings it'd brought to you, you couldn't help but shivered hearing him saying the word "fuck". You slightly raised your hips to help him get rid of your panties. As you were looking down at him, you tapped his shoulder that was still wrapped around your waist. "Higgs? Uhm... I think there'll be a... I mean, well, there's a problem with that plan of yours."

Higgs growled annoyed and looked up. "What problem?" He observed you and saw a slight hint of fear and nerves in your eyes. Higgs quickly realized what did you mean, he chuckled lowly and shook his head in pure disbelief. "Oh sugar, my sweet little Y/N. Are ya still a virgin, am I right?"

Your eyes widened when he used that one particular word, the blush hit your face and you turned read so instead of answering, you moved slightly to reach for his coat that was laying on the floor. You picked it up and covered your face with the material, at the same inhaling Higgs' scent.

Yet after a moment you pulled the cape down your face so only your eyes were visible. "Yes. I haven't had... I mean, you know what I mean, holy Lord. You'd be the first one... I want to go home... I'm truly useless."

He raised the cape enough to put his head under it as well, bumping his nose into yours with a little smile. "You aren't useless, sugar. You are young, pretty, innocent. I hate to rip it off of you but it's time to learn a new thing and I will gladly help you with that. Will you let me?" Higgs was fucking surprised with this sudden wave of concern he felt when you confirmed what he thought. 

You giggled when he bumped your nose. "I... I'm so scared...," You claimed openly. "I don't want to... I... What if I'll let you down... I don't want to disappoint you..."

The truth was you weren't keen on the idea of losing your virginity in such a place, in such a circumstance, but somehow you were pulled to Higgs. He was magnetising and you realized you lost your head for him the day he rescued you from his nasty men.

"I will take care of you, guide you and you never disappointed me, today you won't as well. Do you trust me?," He whispered his question.

You smiled a little bit too sadly. "Do I have other choices though?" You swallowed some moments later and nodded. "I trust you."

Higgs chuckled and kissed you deeply before moving down to settle between your legs, he grabbed your flesh and placed your legs on his shoulders. "I won't break that trust. Just relax," man instructed you before diving between your legs to wrap his mouth around your clit, sucking it gently.

Soon he pulled away to spit on your entrance and slowly pushed two of his fingers into you while his lips returned to your already swollen clitoris.

When his bearded face found its place between your legs, you let out a loud moan. Despite the fact it all was so wrong, it felt right as fuck.

A strange feeling started building within you, a kind of a knot in your abdomen. You let him do whatever he wanted until his slender fingers slipped into your pussy. You gasped and in the first attempt you tried to roll your hips backward to get away from.the touch but he held you in place. It took you a moment to relax and enjoy his actions one again while humming like a little kitten, your eyes fixed on him.

Higgs locked eyes with yours, eating you out. He closed his eyes with a satisfied hum while his fingers were moving in and out of you. After a long moment, he pulled away. "As much as I love the sweetness of your pussy already, I won't let you cum just yet." He chuckled at your expression which was a mix of newly-found pleasure and fear. "No need to be scared," humming, he started to undress, revealing his body and more tattoos. "Hope you like what you see."

You observed him carefully, your heart was pounding in your chest like an animal locked in a cage.

In a courage outburst, you shifted in your place and knelt in front of him, wrapping arms around his neck and kissing him deeply.

Despite the fact you knew your behavior was pretty odd and you probably would be taken as a whore, you didn't care.

Higgs kissed you back, loving the fact you got so eager all of the sudden. "That's the spirit, sugar. You are such a good girl, my favorite,” he whispered against your lips, gently placing you back in the previous position on the cot to take place between your legs. "You are fucking beautiful," he muttered looking at your naked form. "I am not so bad myself, what do you think?"

You rested your body on elbows and gave him a smug smirk. "Seems you're pretty decent. But, of course, you look scary. But I find you a very handsome man."

"Of course I look fucking scary. I am the scariest motherfucker around. You flatter me with your words. Now we will take care of that tight hole of yours, you gonna love it," Higgs growled, pushing his hips against yours to let you feel him.

"O-oooohhh," you let out a moan yet instantly bit your lower lip. "But... Maybe, maybe let's just pass?," You suggested looking down his body at his already erected member. You pressed your thighs together, closing the way to your pussy. "I'm not sure..."

"Oh, sugar. No need to fear me, I won't hurt you that hard and I can assure you that you'll fucking love it and beg me for more," he assured spreading your legs and wrapping them around his waist.

You licked your lips and smiled at him as he wrapped your legs around his hips. You looked him in the eyes. "Can I get a kiss?," You mumbled quietly, trying to do your best to distract him from the main thing. "Promise me it won't hurt. Promise?"

"It will hurt, it's natural but I got you," Higgs promised and wrapped an arm around your waist to keep you as close as it was possible. He positioned himself at your entrance and started to push in, pulling you into another deep, messy kiss only to distract you from the pain and discomfort. Halfway in, he pulled away from the kiss and growled deeply. "Fuck, you are fucking tighter than I expected. I fucking love it, Y/N. You are fucking amazing!"

The pain was sharp and burning, you felt like your guts would be tearing apart. You realized that you stopped breathing with your eyes fixed on his face; when he stopped kissing you and growled, you let out a loud cry mixed with a moan. But shortly after, when he pushed his entire length in, you screamed loudly and tried to muffle your voice by gently biting his arm. "It hurts...," You mumbled. "It hurts. I can't."

"Sure you can. You are my brave girl and you are doing just fine," Higgs praised you, gently rubbing your belly. "Relax and it will be much better. I promise."

You nuzzled to his bare chest, your eyes closed shut as he started pounding harder in you. You dared to look down your body and gasped when you noticed how Higgs' cock was moving in you, a visible bulge was forming in your abdomen.

Soon, you rolled your head back putting it into his cot and clenching his coat with your free hand.

Higgs grabbed your hips and pounded in you even harder, setting the fast and brutal pace since you relaxed around his shaft.

"Just look how nicely it goes in and out. You take it so well, Y/N. I am so fucking proud now. More than I’ve ever been. Be a good girl and cum," he ordered as his hand found your clit to rub it harshly. 

"Oh-ohh!," You moaned and parted lips, enjoying the way he was kissing your neck and collarbone. You felt how huge he grew inside of you. "Can I... Would you... Can we try something else before I cum?," You whispered, kissing his arm.

Higgs growled annoyed and looked at you. "What is it?," He asked with a frown, his hips didn't stop moving.

You wrapped arms around his neck and pulled him closer, kissing his cheek and neck, until you reached his ear. "Harder," you whispered directly into Higgs' ear.

Higgs laughed and placed both arms on the opposite sides of your head, bracing himself to start pounding at you without holding back as he did previously. "As you wish," Monaghan purred happily before fulfilling your wish by fucking you hardly. The cot was squeaking under your weights.

You rolled your head back, grasping one of his forearms to support yourself. The pain vanished almost completely, the only feeling overwhelming you was a pure pleasure and desire. You improved your legs on his hips and were moaning for him. As you barely could take him, a single tear streamed down your cheek, but it wasn't a tear of sadness. "I... Oh-oh!," You mumbled as he throbbed inside of you. "I think I'm cuming," you grunted and at the same moment your legs started shaking. Your walls clenched tightly around his cock still buried in you and you screamed his name.

Higgs smiled and laughed softly, seeing you falling apart under him, it simply was more satisfying than he expected "Atta girl, you see? You made this, I bet the whole camp heard your screaming my name," he purred, licking the trail up your neck. He let out a loud groan as well as he was near his own peak. Higgs parted lips and his hips got all sloppy. After a few more thrusts he pulled out to cum all over your belly.. Trying to catch his breath, he smirked wryly at you. "Fuck, I am fucking exhausted. What have ya done to me, doll?"

When Higgs pulled out of you, you gasped sadly for the loss of contact. Blushing hard as he simply cum on your naked body, you ran hand through your messy hair and sighed. Tip of your tongue ran along your upper lip as you watched him taking place by your side on the cot.

You rolled quickly on your side and placed your head to his chest. You didn't care whether he'd push you away; all you'd wanted was him to hold you close just even for a moment.

He patted your hair and sighed. "You know? I still wonder how the fuck did you end up in that cave. It's so mindfucking that I cannot find a rational answer," Higgs said randomly as he rubbed his chin.

You hugged him seeking any kind of comforting. "I don't remember how I got there, I told you," you reminded him.

Listening to his heartbeat was reassuring.

He nodded. "I remember. That's why it bothers me that much. After all, who would throw such a nice girl with such a sweet pussy out though?," Higgs teased you, hugging you back. For some reason, it felt so fucking good to just hold you within his arms and keep you close. The simple fact you were near him and that you obviously were claimed as his made him happy.

"Whoever did was probably a bad person though," you claimed and dared to trail your fingertips up and down his abdomen, along his happy trail. "Or maybe I did something to be left outside? Who knows. I think we won't find the truth."

His warmth was a blessing and you wished this moment would last forever.

"What's going to be with me now?," You asked him while moving your head up to have a peek into his beautiful, blue eyes. "You've gotten what you'd wanted so you can send me away now. I am not needed anymore."

Higgs thought, looking blankly at the ceiling. Technically, you were right; you didn't have any important position among the camp. You just were. He could kick you out and be done with it all but Higgs didn't want to do this. He just wanted your presence, it all would feel wrong without you around.

Higgs reached over and grabbed his cape you used to cover your face. He wrapped you in it as much as he only could than he hugged you really tightly, pulling you close to his chest. "No, you stay here. By my side. Till the fucking end," Higgs said nuzzling to your hair. This was what he wanted; just to be with you. Somehow he came up to one obvious conclusion - he was falling in fucking love. Was it even possible?

You raised your upper body part to have a good look on his face. "You mean it? I stay here? You won't send me away?," You questioned and as he gave you a slight nod, you hugged him. "Thank you! I promise I won't let you down. I promise I'll be behaving. I promise I'll be useful," after assuring him you placed a tender kiss to his beautifully carved lips.

Higgs kissed you back with a hum. "Just stay by my side and this will be the best work for you."

You smiled a little. "Say it."

He looked down at you with a frown. ‘’Say what?"

"That you're attracted to me," you smirked wryly at him. "And that is the reason you want me around."

He rolled his eyes dramatically. "Yes, I am so fucking attracted to you that I want to keep your around so I can fuck that tight, little hole of yours whenever I want," Higgs claimed proudly.

You kissed his lips briefly before getting up from the cot. "Thank you for confirming the fact I knew since the moment you offered me sex or dying in a timefall," you smiled at him as you were getting dressed. "And well, we'll see whether I'll let you fuck me one more time or not," you winked at him.

Higgs laughed loudly and nodded, stretching on the cot freely, not caring that he was naked. "You'll fucking beg for this, sugar. I still need to teach you a lot about sex."

You fixed your hair and took a look at his naked body. "You're hot, you know this but your mouth is so filthy, I love that," you winked at him. Slowly zipping your suit, you gave him the last glare. "Better get dressed. It's cold and your cock seems to hate it."

[smol-and-grumpy]

EUPHORIA - Chapter 20

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: He’s Dean Winchester, owner of a shady night club. She’s a journalist who has been asked to write an article to expose the indecency and debauchery that’s going on behind closed doors. But he’s also Dean Winchester, the boy who sat next to her in class. The boy who was too cocky for his own good.

Chapter Warning: NSFW, flangst

WC: 3504

A/N: This chapter fills my ‘cock rings’ square for @spnkinkbingo​  Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.

Beta’d by @deanwanddamons <3

This series is three weeks ahead on patreon!

Series Masterlist ~ SPN Masterlist

Become a Patron ~ Buy me a coffee

Dean follows her into the hallway where the rooms are, sees her hesitating in front of one of the doors. His heart skips a beat because he knows what’s in there, and he thinks she knows too, that’s probably exactly why she stopped there.

He still remembers her toying with a strap-on last time, and well, he doesn’t know if he would be ready for that, hasn’t ever done it in his fucking life. 

Strangely, though, Dean thinks that if that’s what she wants, he’d be game. And that way of thinking is absolutely alien to him. 

Here he is, Dean fucking Winchester, owner of a fucking sex club, being pegged in the ass by his—

—Yeah, by his what?

Who is she to him? Fuckbuddy? Friend? Acquaintance? Girlfriend?

He doesn’t know. All he knows is that she’s his and all other labels just don’t really matter. 

Dean watches her go in there and he walks closer, leans his body against the door frame and crosses his arms over his chest. Unlike the last time, where Y/N walked straight up to the strap-ons, she pauses at a drawer where the toys are kept. 

She rummages through the drawers, messing everything up that was neatly arranged. She finds a silicone cock ring and takes it out, and holds it up between her fingers, stretching it, before her eyes land on him.

“That’s a cock ring.” Dean says because he honestly doesn’t know if she was wondering what it is or if she wants him to wear it. 

“Duh,” She laughs and Dean thinks it sounds wonderful, “I know. Oh,” She says, picks another ring up from the drawer, “A vibrating one!”

He thinks it’s totally cute how much she enjoys this. 

“You could wear it,” She says, holds it out for him, the vibrating one of course. 

It makes him wonder if she’s ever been fucked by a guy wearing one. Dean hopes not because that dude would get his lungs ripped out. By him.

“Baby, I’m so hard I could pound fucking nails, my cock will fall off if I try to get it through the hole.” He says, and god, he’d love to wear it for her, make them both feel the vibration when they fuck. Jesus, his dick throbs just thinking about it.

“Oh,” She says and it makes her seem more innocent. 

God, he just wants bend her over and fuck her now. 

Y/N abandons the rings, finds something different, “What’s this?”

Dean grins, “It’s a finger vibrator. You just put it over your finger and then, you know,”

She has it over her finger before Dean can finish the sentence and manages to turn it on, “Aahhh,” She’s giggling before she walks towards him, kisses him briefly while she holds the vibrator to his crotch and he groans into her mouth. 

Such a fucking tease, he swears.

Before he could kiss her back, she slips out of the room with the vibrating toy still on her finger, and walks along the doors and Dean can do nothing else than follow her.

He watches her head to the room that’s familiar to her. The room where he fucked her on the table. The room where he let her come down on the bed with his face pressed into her chest, listening to her heart beat. The room with a lot of restraining options and he can’t lie, he’s kind of excited about it. 

Y/N goes in and Dean slips in with her, closes and locks the door behind him. 

Standing at the bed, she turns around, smiles when she sees him walking closer. When he’s close enough, her hands go around his neck and Dean leans down, kisses her. His hand goes to her ass cheeks, fingers span wide around them and pulls her body flush to his while he spanks down on her clothed globes. Her hands fists in the width lapel of his suit, playing with it.

“Do you trust me, Dean?” She looks up at him with a playful glint in her eyes and Dean’s aroused and anxious at the same time. 

“Yeah,” He says, smiles a fond smile, because it’s the truth. 

The smile she returns him is cocky and her eyes glisten, “Good.”

There’s a shudder running down Dean’s spine. Good? What does that mean?

She’s quick to take off his suit jacket and Dean helps her by standing still, letting her drop it from his body right to the floor. Her fingers work swiftly on the button of his shirt and Dean can’t do anything other than admiring her. Her tongue peaks out to rest at the corner of her mouth. She’s clearly in deep concentration. He helps by pulling the shirt out of his pants, lets her drop it to the floor as well. Next, she works on his belt, the metal clanking loudly in the room. Before she works on the zipper, though, she palms his hard cock through his pants, gives his balls a tweak and Dean groans out, which makes her laugh.

Y/N hooks her fingers through his underwear, pulls it down with his pants. His dick springs free, slaps wetly against his lower abdomen. She crouches down, helps him step out of them and rids him off his socks. Dean moans when he feels her cupping his balls, then groans some more when he feels the wetness of her tongue licking up from the base of his shaft to the tip of his cock. 

However, she’s quick to stand up again, doesn’t stop cupping and twirling his balls in her palms though and Dean has to bite on his bottom lip. She’s a fucking tease and from the way she looks at him — with that mischievous smirk and sparkle in her eyes — he thinks she knows.

She kisses up his chest, sucks at his pulse point, and Dean’s wraps his arms around her waist, fingers tugging at her shirt but she’s quick to swat his hand away before she kisses up his chin, claiming his mouth, tongue sliding wetly against his, while she wraps her delicate fingers around his shaft. Dean has to groan into the kiss and she chuckles, their breath mingling. 

“On the bed, Dean,” Y/N whispers, lips brushing against his. 

And Dean realizes with these words, that she’s in control. It turns him on and he has to swallow down the sound he wants to push out of his throat.

She takes a step back, raises her eyebrows and looks at him with a fucking big grin that he just would love to wipe it from her face — preferably with a kiss — but he’s too busy scrambling onto the bed right now, couldn’t fucking get on fast enough, actually.

“Lie on your back,” Her voice has an amused tone to it and she climbs on the bed with him, straddles his stomach, before she kisses him again.

Her hands find both his wrists, pins them above his head. She let go of one, shackles it into the existing leather cuff that’s already secured to the bedpost. Before she secures it, though, she looks at him, and Dean knows that it’s because she wants to make sure that it’s alright for him. 

Jesus, he can’t deny her even if he would try.

Dean nods his approval and she smiles, bright and white, before she continues to shackle his other wrist to the bedpost. Her clothed tits are right in his face while she does it and Dean wishes the fabric away. It doesn’t hold him back from not craning his neck and pressing his face against them, though. Doesn’t hold him back from opening his mouth and bites into her flesh, clothed or not.

She giggles at that and quickly climbs off of him. He should be ashamed at the whine he’s letting out upon her abandoning him. It’s just— he can’t find it in himself to fucking care.

He watches her unceremoniously pull her shirt over her head, watches her unbutton her pants and slips them off her legs. Graceful is different, not that he cares about it. Not when it’s her.  

His eyes are on her, watching her unhook her bra and she leaves her underwear on. It’s baby pink, see through because it’s mesh. It’s fucking pretty, he has to admit and he can see her pussy. His dick twitches at the sight and it pushes out some clear liquid, and she must have noticed because she’s grinning. 

Y/N crouches down and picks up the finger vibrator from the bed, and puts it over her finger as she climbs in and slots herself between his legs. Dean opens up his thighs a little wider for her. 

He has to swallow hard as he watches her, watches her smile before she kisses his balls. He bites his lips at the touch, and god, what he would give to just prop himself on his elbow and watch without having to crane his neck too much. 

There’s a sound of vibration and Dean jumps when she holds it to his balls. 

“Jesus Christ, fuck—” He curses, closes his eyes briefly but wills himself to look. 

She sucks at one of his balls, holds the vibrator to his other one. God, what a fucking beautiful sight. 

“You like that?” She whispers before she wraps her mouth around his leaking tip, hollows her mouth and sucks the living shit out of him while his balls are still vibrating.

“Fuck—, yes!” He groans at the suction and stimulation on his balls.

Letting out his dick with a lewd pop, she smiles up at him before he feels the vibration on his thigh, her hand plies them open wider and Dean rolls with it, because it feels too fucking good to stop. 

Y/N chuckles when she sees that Dean opens his legs wider for her, and Dean already thought that she’d drop a stupid remark but she actually doesn’t. Instead, she massages the vibrator all over his cock and balls while she just licks below it, the tip of her tongue toying dangerously close to his other hole. 

Dean can’t help but spread himself even wider, wishing somehow that his hands would be free so he could hold his knees for her. 

Her tongue teases along his rim and she pauses to look up to him. 

“You like this, don’t you?” 

Hot air hits his wet rim and Dean nods his head frantically. Because yes, he fucking loves it. And that’s what he’s telling her, “Fucking love it,” It comes out a little higher than usual, because she just rubbed that vibrator over the seam of his balls and they jump up without him even wanting them to. 

Fucking Christ, she’s so nasty. He loves it.

She doesn’t even touch his cock, only rubs the vibrator at the base of his shaft while she sucks and laps at his balls and rim and Jesus, he’s already close to creaming. 

“Baby—,” He chokes out, “I— fuck,”

Dean bucks his hips which prompts her to pin his thighs down. 

“I’m coming,” He breathes out a whisper, but as soon as Y/N hears it, she pulls the vibrator away as well as her face.

His cock fucking aches at the lost of contact and he whines and curses, “No! Fuck, no!”

She chuckles as she lets him come back from that edge he was on, and Dean thinks it’s not fucking fair how much joy she finds in torturing him. It’s cute though, he has to give her that.

After that first time that Dean almost came, she tortures him a couple more times, bringing him so close only to pull him away from fucking bliss and he’s getting frustrated. His dick is throbbing painfully.

By the time she denied him an orgasm for the fourth time, he’s so close to give up, growling and swearing like a fucking sailor but she’s not even impressed by it. Continues to giggle and laugh at him.

God, Dean’s definitely a fucking masochist because he loves her playfulness, even though he’s the one in fucking pain here.

He’s whimpering and wincing, whining even, as she lets go of him and turns the vibrator off and places it on the bed next to him. She licks up his shaft, sucks sharply at the head that’s angry and leaking, before she climbs up his body, placing little kisses here and there. He jerks again when she twirls her tongue around his nipple and teethes at it. 

What a fucking tease.

Y/N sucks along his throat until she kisses his mouth, tongue teasing along his bottom teeth and Dean tastes himself on the tip of it. He kisses her back, rough and needy, just really everything he feels right now and he groans out when she sucks in his tongue, making him forget his own goddamn name for a moment. 

“Get on my face,” Dean growls out, loud and dark and she parts from him, looks at him with a frown on her face, “Come on,” 

“On your face?” She asks, and Dean thinks it’s absolutely cute how she’s probably never done it. Never had someone as needy as him begging her to fucking sit on his fucking face before. 

And that’s good too, because in all honesty, he wouldn’t want for anyone else to have a taste of that pussy but him.

“Yeah, do it, please,” He confirms his decision and she reluctantly moves up, straddles his face. Her panties are still in the way and she’s about to move her crotch to the side but Dean stops her, “No, leave it, sit down like that,” 

She nods when she sits down, her hands holding onto the headboard. Immediately, Dean opens his mouth wide, sucks at her clit through her panties, wetting it some more, draws her taste to the tip of his tongue. He moans and hums against her. Her hesitations are soon gone and she begins to hump his fucking face. He can’t lie that he fucking loves to be smothered by her pussy. 

It’s not long before she fists her hand in his hair and rubs her clothed cunt all over his face. Dean loves that too, the nails that are digging in his scalp are just on the right side of painful. 

She comes with a yell, shivering and trembling above him, almost falling off and he sucks at the fabric, milking out every drop and swallows it down. 

“God, my panties are ruined,” She breathes out a laugh. 

“I still have the clothes bag Claire bought for you upstairs,” He says, as a way to reassure her that he also cares about that. 

Y/N makes her way down again, and Dean has the weird feeling that she’s going to tease him again. 

He really doesn’t know if he can take more of the tease and he’s sweating bullets, so he whines, “Baby, please no teasing, I’m about to fucking burst.”

She chuckles, as she gets off the bed to lower down her panties. Climbing back on again after stepping out of it. 

Straddling him, she spreads her pussy lips, and sits on his shaft, grinding along it, making him bite back curses and moans, “Just a little, Dean, okay?”

He has his eyes closed, tries not to fucking come, and he swallows, “Yeah, okay. Okay.” He says, because yeah, okay, he’s trying. 

It feels good, and she starts to grind harder, his shaft threads through slick wet folds until the head of his dick catches her rim and she sits up a little before letting his cock slide in. Meanwhile Dean’s biting his lips so hard he tastes fucking copper and they groan out in unison when he bottoms out. 

“So good, you feel so fucking good,” He chokes out, and he actually wants to watch where their body meet, because he loves that. He loves to watch his dick going in and out of her, loves to watch how tight her pussy grips around his cock. But Dean simply can not hold his head up anymore, so he lets it sink back, his hands grip at the restraints around his wrist while he watches her tits bounce up and down. What a fucking sigh to behold.

“Just like that, baby. Jesus, fuck—”

She rides him in a maddening pace, tries to get him deeper with every slap of their body and Dean wants to tell her to take it slower because she’ll wear herself out like this but he just can’t say anything because he can’t bring a coherent word past his lips in his state of mind.

After a while though, she braces her hands on his chest, and she looks tired, Dean can tell. Sees it in the way her shoulders sag, the way she breathes, the way her eyelids start to droop. She’s not used to it, probably hasn’t done things like these for a very long time and still has to get used to being fucked almost every day. 

“Dean, I—,” She whispers and he knows. He just knows. She doesn’t have to say anything, really. 

“You tired, baby?”

“Uh-huh,” Y/N looks at him with heavy lids and Dean has to grin. 

“Come on, uncuff me, I got you,”

She nods before her hands are working on his cuffs, frees his one hand and immediately it goes to her tits, kneads it roughly while she frees his other wrist. 

When both his hands are free, Dean touches every inch of her body. It was pure tortue not being able to touch her, not being able to knead and feel her. He likes sex, that he does. He just likes connection, too.

“Dean,” She breathes out.

“I know, baby, I know,” He says and with one swift turn, he has her pinned below him, both his elbows are on either side of her face. His hand strokes her hair back, his lips spraying kisses on her face, “I got you,” 

He doesn’t fuck her hard but he fucks her deep, just the way he knows she likes it, making her wince with every thrust. He finds the vibrator on the bed, turns it on one handed and wedges his hand between both their bodies to hold it against her clit. He feels the vibration too, it’s win win for both of them, really.

“Fuck, don’t stop, Dean, don’t stop,” She moans out, before she comes around his cock. Her cunt’s so tight that it pushes him out and Dean pushes in again with a growl before he too, comes with a throaty grunt and buries his face into the crook of her neck. 

*

It’s almost 9.30pm when Dean waits for her to finish showering. They spent some time in the room afterwards and she actually fell asleep. 

Dean has to dress her unconscious body to get her out of the room and call in for someone to clean it up before opening. She didn’t even stir when he put her to bed and he set the alarm clock, and crawled in after her. He wasn’t even tired, but lying there with her warm and soft body pressed to his, Dean’s eyelids started to droop and his muscles relaxed.

She was absolutely grumpy when he woke her up. Cutest little cranky thing, really. 

Before she went in to take a shower, she rummaged through the clothes bag, found a pair of panties and a skirt that’s not too short. He’s going to drive her to work and maybe ask if he could spend the night with her since she’s going to be gone for two fucking nights. In this stage of their relationship—

— Relationship. Because that’s what they have, don’t they? That’s what they are? His and hers ? 

He gets grumpy when he thinks that he won’t see her for two full fucking days, honestly. 

*

Dean drops by her office building, couldn’t park near enough because the spaces right in front were occupied and when he wants to get out and walk her to the door, she asks him what he's doing. 

“Walk you to the door?” His voice is irritated.

She chuckles and leans over, kissing his cheek. Her hand rubs at his scruff, “You don’t have to, I’m a big girl,”

He wants to object, but he thought better of it. She’ll get mad, he’s sure of that, so he sighs, “Okay,” 

Before she gets out, though, he stops her, “Let me pick you up after work, please?” 

Y/N’s already halfway out the door when she leans back down and smiles at him, “Okay,” 

With that she’s gone, Dean watches her walking to the main entrance from his rearview mirror. 

Something catches his eyes though. A dark figure walks up to her and grabs at her arm. Dean almost doesn't scramble out of the car fast enough to run up to them.

Chapter 21

[thesolotomyhan]

Narcos México: Dating them would include: (2/7)

Alright! I just want to say really quick, thank you for the support and love from all of you corazones de melon. Sorry this took so long but part 2 of the head cannons is here! Please don’t be mad at me😅 and I hope you enjoy this one as well! 💕

Warnings: NSFW! 

I’m already sobbing, I’m so soft for my Arellano Boys ok

GOD, Benjamin is such a romantic King

You’ve made him weak in the knees ever since he first laid eyes on you

You are the reason he keeps pushing everyday and the reason he wants to be so successful

No quiere que te haga falta nada en la vida ,,, he wants to be the one you lean on and vice versa,, I’m crying 🥺

LOOK, Benjamin’s goal with you is to just make you happy and build a family with you because tu eres el amor de su vida

He’s so stupidly in love with you it’s heart-wrenching,,

I just-,,, he has the biggest heart eyes for you, you’re doing literally anything and he’s falling in love with you all over again

For Benjamin, family comes first, we’ve seen that, so he HAS to know what you’re doing, where you're going, when your coming back, call him to know you got there safely,,, Every single day

He’s a Protective King ™ , sue me

GOD, do not get me started on how he would get when your pregnant-

He will loose his fucking mind if you don’t tell him where your going today

He can’t help but panic if he has no clue where your at, because in his defense, Tijuana is dangerous

It’s obviously no secret that your his soft spot, especially with that look he gives you when you walk into the room as if you just hung the stars

He separates his business work with your private lives because he doesn’t really want you to be so close with the dangerous business, he wouldn’t like having that weight on your shoulders

I can’t,,, I don’t know why but,, look, you want to take care of this man so imagine taking him lonche everyday🥺

Like, imagine coming into his office with his container of lonche and he’s just softly smiling at you as he makes room for you to sit on his lap

He’s always scolding you though, for coming to visit him but how is he going to deny you the food you made for him-

And Even though he doesn’t like to show as much PDA in front of his workers, (because he believes it’s more intimate in privacy,) he still can’t help himself but give in to you

Cue forehead kisses and giving you a loving smile when you come and visit him at the warehouse

We’ve also seen how Benjamin can stress tf out when business doesn’t move fast and smoothly

And everyone in the family knows that your the only one to clear his mind and make him smile, make him relax

Like Whenever Benjamin is on the verge of bursting a blood vessel, Enedina is already calling you a car to get you there ASAP

Like, that time the Sinaloans trashed his supply truck with the pig and he’s swearing about “putos sinaloenses”

Just arriving at the right moment and going up to him and dragging him away as you grab his cheeks and making him focus on just you to calm him down as you play with the ends of his hair, ugh 🥺

Everybody swears your a present sent from god himself,, like sighs of relief are being let out when you arrive

Anyways, before I get too carried away-

He’s not a big fan of taking you to fancy restaurants and such

He believes that the gestures of simple love is the way to go, he doesn’t think giving you the extravagant gifts can compare and show how much he loves you

Don’t get me wrong though, he’ll buy you something really nice and heartfelt when your both celebrating something like an anniversary or something

But he prefers a special homemade dinner in the privacy of your own home, es mucho mas especial

But He shows his love physically, like every morning and night he tells you how much he loves you

“No soy nada sin ti, mi amor” uggh I can’t-

It is his TOP priority to always give you a good night and good morning kiss on your lips , he can’t keep away from your soft lips on his-

He also needs to just be touching you whenever you're near, it makes him feel secure that your safe right next to him

He’ll have his arm around your waist or your arms linked as he leads you around the place

You cannot tell me that y’all wouldn’t cuddle when you sleep, like it’s so comfortable for you because your sleeping on his chest, but for him it’s a sense of security because he’s keeping you safe while you sleep🥺

One of his favorite parts of the day is coming home to you, it’s the time where he can let go of himself and just. b r e a t h e

This man will never admit it out loud but he feels so damn proud of himself whenever he accomplishes something, like the time he convinced Miguel to input more coke through his plaza and your just so proud of him for being able to do that

Ya’ know you’re loving up on him and constantly praising him, his heart just fucking soars

Ooohhh, being best friends with Enedina because she just fucking adores how with just one look from you, Benjamin is following you like a lost puppy

I can just see how she’ll want to take you out for a girls day and leaving behind a grumpy and pouty Benjamin,, she’s definitely throwing that shady, smugly smile at him

Ah shit, I can imagine as he’s watching you both leave, Ramon or Francisco’s ass is walking up behind Mín and just smugly saying

“Pues, ya embarazala, cabrón, para que tienes a alguien que te destrae”

The LOOK Benjamin throws because the fucking Audacity

My heart hurts,, I just know Benjamin would be one to hug you from behind, and kiss your neck as he murmurs just how much he fucking adores and loves you

Can you just imagine, the way he would look at you in the morning as your putting on his shirt to go make breakfast, I’m crying

DomesticSoft Benjamin makes me ugly sob

Your relationship is so full of soft love, it’s just- chefs kiss👌

NSFW:

Again, I’m sobbing,, sex for Benjamin is something he will take seriously, he’s only comfortable with what your comfortable with

The KING of the softest but earth shattering sex

Benjamin is taking his time undressing you, he’s not one to rush into things even though he’s desperate to be inside of you

He’s definitely kissing newly exposed skin every time he takes an article of clothes off of you

Once he’s level with you, in between your thighs, your already throwing your head back before he’s even touching you, like you already know how he’s going to make you feel

this man loves eating you out while your pulling and running your fingers through his hair

He’s humming into your core and looking at how your losing your mind, he gets drunk off that feeling

Like he’s also on the verge of coming right then and there just by the way your saying his name

Every time you both have sex, he HAS to make you cum at least twice with his mouth, I’m sorry I don’t make the rules

He’s the one that while your coming down from your high, he’ll kiss trails up your stomach, to your neck, and finally your lips

Benjamin is one to grab hold of your hand with your fingers intertwined and rest them near your head as he pushes into you

GOD, he rests his forehead on yours as you both let out breathy moans and stare into each other - wow

“Mirate, mi hermosa mujer, te ves tan bella aquí en nuestra cama, solo para mi”

Like I said, EYE CONTACT is a must,

If you even try to close your eyes from how good he’s making you feel, he’s gently grabbing your face and in a demanding husky voice he’s saying

“Mirame” -wow👀

he lives for seeing how you react to his movements, ok

One of Benjamin’s favorite positions is you writhing below him with one of his hands gripping your thigh around his hip while the other hand is either, 1) gripping your hand or 2) grasping the sheet near your head

He loves the sight of you being on top of him as well, like he’s sitting up, gripping both of your hips as his thumb stimulates your clit as your trying to bounce to meet his thrusts

Your biting your lip as your nails are digging into his shoulders, just so many emotions are being thrown around the two of you-

Or he’s laying completely on his back while you’re bouncing on top of him, scratching down his chest-

What. A. View.

Look, Benjamin needs to know he’s actually making you feel good🥺, so he’s pulling out all the tricks when you try to stifle your mewls,

it’s music to his ears when he hears you let out the noises that he’s making you feel

He loves watching how your body literally shakes when he brings you to your orgasms, mi diosa, is all he thinks about as he intensely watches you

I can see that’s there’s times where you come to drop off his lonche, like any innocent day as you take your place on his lap,,

And you’re trying to tell him this crazy scene you saw on your way to his office but all he responds with are hums that he’s listening to you as his hand travels in between your thighs and he’s kissing down your neck and shoulders

Like, look at his fucking fingers...

Your squirming because like, the blinds to his office aren’t even fucking closed but by the looks of it, Benjamin isn’t one bit worried

“Amor, sigue diciéndome lo que viste”

As he’s pushing a finger into you,

Ok, wow,

this just leads to sneaky office desk sex, where you’re both trying your best to stay quiet because Benjamin was being needy and couldn’t keep it in until he was home

But lemme tell ya, when parties are being thrown at Roxanne, this man is making you scream in his office because

“Nadie nos escucha, amor”

He just gets a fucking hard on imagining you on his desk, with your legs spread, chanting his name- ok

But so far, you’ve both done a surprisingly good job of no one finding out

*Stress Relieving Blowjobs*

I can see this happening when he comes home fuming and cussing about some bs his workers pulled

or at his office where he would hole himself up in, like the grumpy Mín we know

All I know is that your just walking up to him where he’s seated and giving him a shoulder rub as you move to stand in front of him

You slowly get down to your knees as you capture his fiery attention,

“Relájate, mi amor, solo dame tu atención”

While you're pulling his cock out and giving him the best blow of his life

Like what a truly beautiful sight, his head is thrown back as he lets out low grunts

He definitely got teased once by Enedina once you left him on cloud 9 in his office after his temper tantrum, she’s just all like,

“Qué? Necesitabas que tu esposa viniera a chuparte para que puedas volver a funcionar?”

Again, with the annoyed look he throws her

You cannot tell me otherwise that this man will pepper your face in kisses post sex, praising how good you were and how much he loves you

He will caress your back as you fall asleep on his chest and he just closes his eyes as he breathes in your scent because, wow, he’s that King 👑

You are his queen, so you best believe he’s going to take care of you and make your love as passionate as he can

[fritae]

The Missing Piece (Chapter 12)

Closer.

gang! au / ceo! au

characters: dabi x f. oc, lov

status: ongoing

read on ao3 here.

a/n: i really like this chapter heh, hope u enjoy! 😚

The staircase leads all the way to basement. I wondered why they would hide such steep, hidden steps in Dabi's office when they could create (much) shorter, more accessible ones from the first floor.

But I'm guessing that's the point.

This isn't supposed to be easy to reach. And Dabi's office is the one place no one would dare enter.

Aside from us, of course.

The basement is completely dark, forcing me to draw myself even closer to Dabi. I enjoy the weight of his hand in mine. He has a firm, tight grip. But just as the thought warms my cheeks, I shake it out of my head.

Within seconds, Dabi turns on the lights.

My eyes widen, taking in the sight before me.

Blood.

A lot of it.

Though it looks dried, like it's been there for ages.

I spot a wall of different sized knives on one hand. A gun display on the other. A shelf of jars, filled with a murky looking liquid and...I don't even want to know what that is inside.

Dabi watches me.

There's a simple, plastic white table in the center of the floor with a large white board behind it.

The place is much messier and less...classy, than the rest of the Blaze.

But I have the feeling it's because it's not meant for outside eyes.

"You okay?" Dabi asks.

I nod, squeezing his hand to comfort myself.

Before the others reach the bottom, he whispers in my ear, "Whenever you want to leave, let me know. You don't have to be here."

"Okay."

"And," He takes another glance at the stairs as the others begin to appear. "Again, Rina. This place does not exist. Anything we say here does not leave this room. Got it?"

I glance warily at the knives.

"Why are you so worried?" I try to smile so he doesn't pick up on my nervousness. "I don't have anyone outside of you guys anyway. Who would I talk to?"

My comment seems to confuse him. "What about-"

"Welcome to the League!!" Toga jumps off the last few steps and swings into full view.

I shoot Dabi a look. "The League?"

"The League of Villains, of course!" Atsuhiro follows Toga, a dramatic grin on his lips. "Only the baddest group of bad boys in town."

"And girls!" Toga calls out.

"League of Villains?" I cackle. "Who came up with that?"

Tenko scowls.

Oop.

Dabi lets go of my hand and motions for me to take a seat on one of the plastic chairs.

I pick a red chair near the board.

"So what is that you guys really do?"

"I told you," Dabi says. "Special services to people willing to pay up."

Given where we are, that suddenly feels a lot more sinister than it did when he first told me.

I look back at the knives and jars in the background.

"So like, a gang? Where you steal things and hurt people if someone pays you enough? Like the movies?"

"Guess you could put it that way."

"And there's actually people that pay for this stuff?"

Dabi shrugs. "It's a niche market."

Woah.

There's a lot more questions in my head, but now is not the time. Maybe later.

As Dabi moves to take a seat, his abdomen brushes against the edge of the table and he hisses in pain.

It releases blood again.

"Fuck!" He grips the skin.

I move closer to him, gripping his hands again. "It still hurts?" I ask worriedly. "Is there anything we can do?" I look around at the others quickly.

"Yes!" Toga says, a little too eagerly.

"What is it?"

She hops over to knives behind us, and takes a moment deciding which one she wants.

She brandishes a short but sharp blade and lets out an excited squeal, as though she enjoyed this.

"Fire please!" She calls out.

What's she doing?

Dabi groans and pulls a lighter out of his pocket. He tosses it toward her, and she carefully holds it under the edge of the blade, running it up and down for several minutes until it turns red.

She's going to seal the wound so it doesn't get infected.

"Lie down, boss," She says in a sing-song voice.

I clear the few papers were scattered on the table and move so Dabi could spread himself over it.

He lifts the edge of his shirt to his midriff, and my breath catches in my throat when I see his abdomen.

The skin is covered in large swaths of reddish purple.

Like parts of it were burnt off...

I gasp.

"These are old," Dabi looks at me. He's watching me carefully, wanting to see just how I'd react. "Still want to be here?"

I swallow my anxiety as I stare at Dabi's mismatched skin. I won't give him the chance to say 'I told you so.'

This must be why he wouldn't let me dress the wound.

He didn't want me to see this.

No wonder the stab didn't phase him.

What else has his body been through...

"Here I come!" Toga grins.

She was all too eager to take the scorching knife and press it to his stomach.

Dabi clenches his teeth immediately, leaving me to hurriedly stand next to him. I squeeze his hand to soothe him, but he grips mine back so hard I think he might break it.

I brush his hair out of eyes and press my hand to his forehead to calm him.

"It's okay," I tell him softly. "It's over."

The others stare at Dabi's wound uncomfortably, like they've been under Toga's knife before.

I wonder if they have similar wounds.

Dabi releases his harsh grip on my hand and begins to breathe slower.

One things strikes me though.

Despite all the pain he's undoubtedly feeling right now, not a single tear drops from his eyes.

I think it might just be him trying not to appear weak in front of us.

But as I look into his eyes, I'm surprised to find them completely dry.

"Are you superhuman or something?" I joke with him.

He looks at me quizzically.

"All of that and you didn't cry?"

Dabi closes his eyes. "I don't cry." He grits his teeth.

I roll my eyes.

Whatever you say.

The others slowly help him sit up straight. I take the first aid kit from Atsuhiro, picking out the cotton, gauze and antibacterial wipes.

Dabi is less reluctant when I try to wrap the area this time.

"You can hold onto me if you want," I tease as I wrap the gauze around his body.

A small smirk appears on his lips. His arm suddenly snakes around my waist, pulling me close to him.

I blush and the gauze falls out of my hands.

Dabi tilts his head. "What's wrong? Thought you wanted me to hold onto you?"

The guys snicker behind us.

I push him away from me, and he laughs as I take another piece of gauze and try again.

"You guys can talk now," I tell them focused on what I'm doing. "What exactly happened today?

Did Mr. Lane find out about the League? Is that what made you a target?"

Dabi is silent.

His silence puzzles me. I look to the others to see if they knew anything.

"Dabi tried blowing up his car!" Toga volunteers.

I frown.

Could this be just because of how Mr. Lane treated me?

No. There's no reason for it to mean that much to Dabi.

Enough to get angry, sure.

To harm Mr. Lane?

Doubtful.

"Why would you blow up his car?" I ask.

Tenko pulls up a chair. "We did some research on him. He's working with some really shady people. And Dabi told us about the whole Todoroki affair."

I shoot Dabi a look.

"They're trying to trick people into thinking they're heroes. That they should be put on a pedestal and admired. There's people out there telling their kids to be like them. Meanwhile they're going around-"

"Enough," Dabi interrupts Tenko. "Point is, they're fakes. They built up their media empires off that fake image. And we're going to expose them."

"But you guys are also doing...you know," I don't know how to say it in a way that isn't offensive. "I mean, you tried blowing up his car. And I'm guessing you probably have done more...if I'm not reaching."

Their eyes harden.

"We never pretended to be good."

I know I should stay silent, but I keep going.

"Right, but you have a double image too. There's the Blaze, and then there's the League."

They shake their heads.

"The Blaze is to funnel money into the League. Yeah, sure it's a front, but those who need our services know where to find us. We can't have masses of people finding out about the other shit we do, can we?"

"But how did this all start? What are you trying to achieve?"

"We just hate hypocrites. We'll help a bad guy to bring down a worse guy. Those that act like angels in public are our favorite targets. I don't care if we have to steal, blackmail, or kill them," Dabi's eyes shine with evil. "Whatever it takes to beat their egos down. Reveal the private faces they hide. Until they're forced to show their bloody hands before the world. Someone like Enji is using Lane for media coverage. Lane is depending on him for protection and cash. We can take them both down."

"What if you get caught?"

He dismisses the question, like it's not even worth his time. "By who?" He scoffs. "Lane? As soon as we take down Enji, Lane's done for. Since he's your old boss, we can give you leeway with how badly you want us to go after him." Dabi says this like that's what I'm genuinely concerned about right now. "Lane's a scared little prick anyway, as soon as he saw me he bounced out of the car and screamed for protection." He laughs like he can picture Mr. Lane's pathetic position as we speak. "But he'll fall. Just like the rest of them."

"I meant the police, Dabi."

The question puzzles him as if he's never considered it before. But the look in his eyes tells me they're even less of a concern than Mr. Lane.

"Don't worry about that," He says. "That's the least of our problems, to be honest."

I nod.

I let them speak uninterrupted for the rest of the night. They have business to take care of, and if I keep asking questions like this, they'll never get to finish. It's enough that they waited all day for me to leave so they could start. Can't hold them up at night as well.

The Todoroki name was brought up several times, among others. It seems strange now, considering Dabi knows it was Mr. Lane's relations with Enji that led to me leaving the company the way I did. Turns out he knows a lot more about Enji than I do.

I try to keep track of the other names as well, but there's so many and I'm so tired, I can barely keep up.

"Here's where Rina comes in," Dabi continues.

My eyes widen at the mention of my name.

"Enji's using Lane for his image. Rina, you said they were working on a movie or something?"

"A documentary, yes."

"We need to make sure that shit doesn't air."

I bite my lip, trying to remember as much information as I could about the documentary. It was supposed to air already. I remember Mr. Lane saying it would be within the month.

But it hasn't yet.

Which means I need to find out more from Al.

"My roommate still works at NNTV. She's the floor manager so she might have some idea of what's going on. I can ask her."

"You sure you can trust her?" Dabi asks with a frown.

"Well, I'm not gonna tell her any details, she's the one that's gonna need to have trust in me, no?"

Atsuhiro cracks his knuckles and rubs his neck. "I don't know, I don't like the sound of that. We have our own ways of finding stuff out so-"

"It won't hurt to try," I insist, looking at Dabi since he's the one that has final say on these matters. "Having 2 avenues of information is better than 1."

Truth be told, I just want to feel useful. I want to feel like I have a role to play, not just that I'm here to "sit and watch".

I want them to feel good about me being here, not apprehensive about whether this was a good decision.

After some deliberation, Dabi sighs. He looks to the others for input. "Might as well?"

"I mean she's here," Tenko says monotonously. "Might as well use her."

Dabi nods and then turns to me. "Just don't be stupid with it. Lead her into the conversation, don't bring it up out of nowhere. She'll be curious about why you're bringing it up. Don't say anything that'll make her ask questions. The more questions she asks you, the more suspicious she'll be."

"Relax guys, I got this." I smile. "Besides, she's a chatterbox. She'll open up at the slightest nudge and go on forever. She's the one that told me about all the.." I grimace. "..issues with the Todoroki company."

Plus, she's my friend! Of course, I can trust her. We've been roommates for years. If anyone could tell me about Mr. Lane's current plans for the documentary, it'd be her.

"So it's settled!" Toga claps. She takes a marker and goes up to the white board, drawing a flow chart with all that's been discussed today. She adds my part last, circling my name and underlining it several times for emphasis, over a big red INTEL SOURCING.

The sight of that makes me smile, like I have a role to play in all of this. I look around at the others but they're all preoccupied with moving things around and discussing their own parts.

The lack of enthusiasm isn't surprising, I mean this is normal for them.

But all I can think of is how exciting it'll be if I have something to contribute the next time we meet. If they'll call me down, and look at me expectantly. I imagine the looks on their faces with glee and the thought almost makes me giddy.

"Okay, are we done here?" Dabi asks.

A bunch of 'yes'es and 'yup's fill the basement.

"Alright then," Dabi grabs a leather jacket from on the wall and checks to make sure his keys are inside. Then he walks my way and grabs my arm.

"Time for you to go home," He says, moving me in front of him.

"But-"

"Now," His eyes narrow. He moves his head in a silent nudge, telling me to turn around and make my way upstairs.

The others watch us curiously, and Toga lets out a snicker at my expense.

"I'm jealous!" She calls after us. "Wish I had someone to drive me home!"

Dabi groans, nudging me to keep moving.

"Bye guys," I wave back at them from halfway up the steps. "I'll see you tomorrow!"

They all wave warmly and I can't help thinking how grateful I am that they trusted me with this.

It feels so weird emerging out of Dabi's office like this, from a secret path that leads deep under the building. But Dabi simply presses another tile in the walls, and the entrance reseals itself, as though it never existed.

We make our way to his car, and I hurry to catch up to him. The height difference certainly doesn't help.

He unlocks the car and slides into the driver's seat. I follow into the passenger's seat and shift awkwardly in my place.

"Where do you live?" He asks as he readjusts his rearview mirror. No sooner had I told him the address, than he revved the engine and sped away from the Blaze.

The ride is quiet for a while. Regrettably so. Dabi hands me a box of disinfectants to wipe the blood off my hands. I wonder how many times he's had to do the same thing before coming into the office.

I fiddle with the hems of my shirts as I try to think of something to talk about. Dabi doesn't seem to be in as big of a rush to speak, his eyes darting from the rearview to the side mirrors periodically as we cruise down the mostly empty highway.

"Dabi?"

"Hm."

"When they said you were gone today, were you really in the basement the whole time?"

Dabi takes a moment to answer. "After I got back, yeah. Couldn't exactly walk through the front doors looking the way I did." He glances at me before switching lanes.

"Were you avoiding me?"

"Partly."

I nod. "Now that I know about the League, do you think you'd avoid me in a case like this again?"

"A case like this won't happen again."

"Okay." I respond quietly. "Cause you know I get worried."

Dabi seems to be deep in thought.

"You worry a lot for someone who's only met me a month ago."

I smile. "Well, of course. We're friends aren't we?"

Dabi spares me a look before switching lanes again. "Right." But he doesn't look like he fully believes me.

"You think you'll be able to handle your friend?" He changes the subject.

"Who, Aliyah? Of course! I told you, we're really good friends and she's the kind of person that loves gossiping anyway. It'll be a piece of cake."

He grunts. "Okay. Because to be honest, that's part of why I wanted you at the Blaze."

I don't know why hearing that makes me feel slightly sad, but it does. "The documentary?"

"Yeah. I mean you work in the media industry. You'd know about that stuff. People like Enji have the industry wrapped around their palms. When you told me he was cozying up to NNTV, I figured you'd be the person to handle all of that for me."

I nod. "So why haven't you asked me before today?" Come to think of it, he even sounded reluctant about agreeing.

"I don't know," He sighs. "Still not sure I want you mixed up with all of this."

I roll my eyes. "I'm not even a member, remember? I'm just getting information for you," I tease. "What's so dangerous about that?"

"That's what worries me," Dabi glances at me, his brows pulled together. "That's all you see it as."

"What am I supposed to see it as?"

"What it is," Dabi gets increasingly agitated, but he tries to keep himself calm. "I'm not sure you're taking this seriously enough, Rina. The closer you get to us, the more at risk you are. The more people that know you work for me, especially what kind of work," He looks dead serious. "The more danger you'll be in."

I roll my eyes. "But no one knows anything about you, Dabi. I've been here for a month and I'm only just finding out about all of this. And I'm sure there's much more I don't know. How would people outside of the League even find out?"

"Same way we find out shit about them. Lane's using his Todoroki connections to supply him with information and protection. They're good at what they do."

My mouth drops. "You mean the Todorokis know about you?"

"Well," Dabi's jaw hardens. "They think they do."

I wait for him to say more, but he leaves it at that. We ride the rest of the distance in silence.

Once we pull up in front of my apartment complex, I try to put a smile on my face.

"Thanks Dabi." I tell him as I unlock the door.

He nods without looking at me. "See you tomorrow."

Those words trigger me immediately and I let go of the handle.

"Don't say that."

Dabi looks confused.

"You said that yesterday and had no intention of seeing me." I cross my arms. "You broke your promise."

"Don't be dramatic, no one says that shit as a promise."

"See you tomorrow means I'll see you tomorrow," I tell him seriously. "Otherwise, just say goodbye or something else."

He leans his head forward against the steering wheel and sighs. "It's just a stupid phrase, you're overthinking it."

I frown.

"See you tomorrow," He gives up. But still, I don't leave.

"I mean it!" He says. "I. Will. See. You. Tomorrow. Good enough?"

I grin. "Mhm, thank you!" I lean over to give him a quick hug before I leave, and he immediately recoils, like my body was made of ice.

"Handsy, aren't you," He mutters, craning his neck to look at me, without getting too close.

I pull away.

"Always have to ruin the moment, don't you," I counter, slightly disappointed. I turn to open the door, and suddenly feel him pull me back in.

"How do you do that?" His voices comes out low and raspy.

I look into his eyes. "Do what?"

There's that frustration in his eyes again.

"Fucking making me feel bad about shit I'd never fucking feel bad about." He growls.

The way he says it makes me blush.

"Cut that shit out."

"Yes sir," I mumble.

He leans his head back.

Then, he hesitantly opens his arms.

I shake my head, pulling my purse over my shoulder again. "Not gonna force you to do something you don't want to do."

I open the door this time, and just as I'm about to step out of his car, he pulls my arm again - harder this time, and I fall back into the bend of his arm.

My heart is pounding faster. I shake my hair from my face to get a better look at Dabi in the dark.

"Why are you so much fucking work," He mutters, his face inches away from mine. I swallow.

He leans forward to hug me closer to his chest. The leather jacket feels surprisingly smooth against my cheek, and my hand finds the back of his seat to balance myself, careful of coming near his wound. He holds me to him for a few long breaths and I smile against his chest, knowing he can't see me right now.

When we pull away, I look at his face once more. But Dabi avoids my gaze.

"You don't have to play along with me," I tell him, a teasing smile on my lips. "I'll only expect more from you next time."

"See you tomorrow," He mumbles, still without facing me. His foot is on the brakes but he's already pulling the gear shift into Drive.

And then, just before I leave for good and with no time to think this through -

I press my lips on his cheek.

Dabi's eyes widen immediately and he looks at me in alarm. "What-"

"Bye Dabi!" I wave with a laugh as I hurry out of his car. I run to the door of my building, grateful for the dark to hide my red cheeks.

Dabi remains in front of the building for a moment, his head still turned my way in shock.

I close the door behind me but hurry to the window, peeking the corner of my head out just in time to catch him shaking his head and rubbing a tired hand across his eyes.

There's no way to describe the relief and warmth in my chest, when he eventually pulls out of his spot.

But just before he can drive off, I swear I feel him smirk at the window.

As if he can hear the adrenaline thrumming in my veins.

[ziaxkawaii]

I need a Hero (Kaminari X Reader)

Paring: Denki Kaminari x Reader

Warnings: Depressive thoughts, Attempted suicide, Bad language?

Other: Characters are aged up and most working as pro heroes.

Summary: One step in any direction might seem like such a small distance, but for you, it's just enough to find out what's on the other side. In honesty, you were looking forward to it, but then a certain hero makes you think differently.

~When it came to Denki Kaminaris love life, it was basically none existent.

~As much as he was a carefree, goofy, and fun person to be around, Kaminari didn't really attract anyone's interest romantically.

~When he isn't working, he's most of the time hanging out with friends or meeting new people, be it in a baseball game or at the local park or mall.

~Even when he was at work, he would still meet a bunch of new people on the streets if they stop him and ask him to take a picture with them. He might not have as many fans as his previous classmates, but he still gets recognized here and there and he couldn't be prouder.

~He was happy that he had friends and people that cared about his well being. But there was a voice in the back of his mind, telling him he longed for something more. Someone special to care for, fight for, and love unconditionally.

~Yes, he needed to find a partner. Someone to share his life with.

~Seeing his friends with their girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands, and wives made him feel a bit jealous. Of course, he was happy for his buddies and friends, but he too wanted to jump on the train of relationships and he was afraid that he never would. He dreaded the thought.

~Lately Kaminari had been busy with his hero duties. From morning till evening, he spends his time at the hero agency he worked at. Mostly doing paperwork.

~It made Kaminari curious and kind of saddened, how rarely he went on missions lately. For the last three weeks, the only "missions" he did, were patrols. Mainly night patrols because if he did end up fighting a villain on the street, there was a less of a chance of harming any civilians with his quirk.

~He was glad he at least had patrols, otherwise, he would die from boredom.

~At 0.24 AM, Kaminari along with his coworker and buddy, Hanta Sero, are on a night patrol together. The weather was nice and the city seemed pretty calm for a Saturday night. Maybe it was because the night was still young, and the ruckus is yet to start but it didn't bother either of the males to have a little breather. Currently, they were having a quick break on a rooftop.

~Sero inhaled deeply as he closed his eyes. "Man, you really start to appreciate the fresh air when you stay cooped up in an office every day." He commented. Kaminari nodded in agreement as he looked at the bright and beautiful city lights while the chilly cold air tickled his face.

~"Can't say it any better. It feels awesomely great to do something. It has been way too quiet in the office for my liking." He said as he stretched, feeling relief once he heard a satisfying 'pop' from his back.

~"That's right, you haven't been out of the office much, have you."

~"Yeah... it sucks. I kinda wish there was more action going on, it's kind of weird that nothing has been happening lately, it's somehow making me feel nervous." Kaminari admitted as he scratched the back of his head.

~"I feel ya, it is kind of unsettling. For all we know, some villain is planning something dangerous right under our noses and we wouldn't know a thing." Sero jokingly said and then both men heard a short 'ding' from their pockets. Both of them confusingly pulled out their phones to see who had texted them. One look at the text, both males groaned.

~"No way! He seriously can't dump this on us tonight!"

~The one texting them was one of their coworkers, explaining that they had "an emergency" at home and "needed" to leave work early, meaning someone would have to cover their patrol area. Guess who?

~"This is the third time he has done this!" Kaminari complained as he was ready to give the dude a piece of his mind but instead pocketed his phone before he could say something he would regret.

~"We gotta find a way to expose him." Sero nodded. This guy was known for skipping work for the most ridiculous reasons and the other coworkers suffered from it. Not many liked him for this very reason. "Not very manly." As Kirishima once put it when he heard about him.

~"Hopefully in the near future, but for now, we have to go patrol his area too. We heroes can't give the villains an idea that there are parts of the city that they don't patrol." Sero reasoned.

~"I agree, but that's gonna take way more time than what we were scheduled for." Kaminari reminded. "I don't know about you, but I want to sleep tonight." Sero thought for a moment.

~"What if we split up? That way we can get the work done and don't have to spend more time than we have to." He proposed.

~"That's a good idea, but we're supposed to patrol in pairs..." Kaminari muttered.

~"I'm sure it's fine, the city has been quiet the whole evening." It wasn't uncommon for heroes to do solo patrols, but it was always advised to have two-person teams during a night patrol. It was safer that way.

~Kaminari nodded. It was decided that Kaminari would finish their own route while Sero covered the extra. They also agreed that if either of them suddenly needed back up, they would send their location from their watch to the other person, and they would come help.

~It made Kaminari feel more secure. Nothing bad was probably not gonna happen. But if something were to happen, help was only one button press away.

~~~

~Kaminari roamed around the area checking alleyways that seemed shady enough to make sure it was empty, walking past closed shops and businesses and checking the occasional rooftop.

~By now, it has been an hour since Kaminari and Sero split up. It might sound like such a short time to be alone, but for Kaminari, it quickly grew boring. It was almost unreal that nothing was happening on a Saturday night. Or should he say Sunday morning?

~Kaminari walked into another alleyway. Nothing more than dumpsters, trash bags, and mice that ran over his shoes.

~"Ah, damn it!" He exclaimed in a whispering tone as he began shooing the pests away. As he did so, he heard soft humming. He stopped what he was doing and looked around. There was no one there.

~The faint humming kept on going and Kaminari found himself listening to the beautiful tune. He didn't recognize what song it was, but it was beautiful none the less. He spotted a ladder to the building rooftop next to him and he started silently climbing, hearing the humming louder and louder each storey he climbed.

~As he made it to the top, he was expecting to find someone mindlessly humming while they sat on a stool while maybe drinking a warm beverage in the cold outdoor wind. But what he saw made his blood turn to ice and his eyes widen.

~There, on the very edge of the rooftop, stood a young woman, barefoot and wearing a pale yellow cardigan. Their hair fluttered wildly in the wind while they looked all the way down to the street, but they didn't seem to mind as they kept on humming the song Kaminari didn't know, sounding now loud and clear in his ears.

~He didn't know what to do.

~Is that woman about to jump? If so, then how in the world is he supposed to prevent it from even happening? A case like this was a first for him, he has never been in a situation like this and somewhat hoped that he never would.

~But here he was, about to witness death from the front row seat if he didn't do anything.

~The (h/c) haired woman lifted their feet, as though they were going to step over the edge. Out of reflex, Kaminari abandoned his spot on the ladder and dashed onto the rooftop shouting the first sentence that came to mind.

~"DON'T!!!" He stood good five meters away from the girl, but he shouted so loud he might as well been standing next to her.

~The person stopped and lowered their foot back next to the other one. They didn't even flinch when Kaminari shouted. They absentmindedly turned around halfway and looked Kaminari in the eyes.

~Kaminari gulped when the person didn't show any emotion. None at all. They just stood there on the edge like a beautiful porcelain doll.

~"Why are you here?" The woman asked, not blinking once. Kaminari was at a loss for words. What should he say? Should he even say anything? Would that even do anything? The girl waited for his answer patiently.

~"I... I w-was p..passing by and... heard your humming..." Was he making the right move?

~"I see... I hope I didn't bother you." She said nonchalantly. Kaminari immediately shook his head.

~"N-no! I-I thought it was very beautiful. That's why I climbed up the ladder to see who it was..." No... he was making the right move. As long as he's talking to them, they hopefully won't do anything rash. He just needs to keep going.

~"I've heard that plenty of times." She looked back at the city. Shit... What should he say now?

~"H-has someone hurt you? What happened to you? If you want to talk about it, I-I'm here to listen." He dared to take one step forward but not anymore. The woman remained unmoving, this could be a positive sign.

~"How is my personal life any of your concern?... Hero.." Sweat started to drip from Kaminari's forehead. Now he was more than nervous. Was she one of those people who didn't like heroes? Can he handle this by himself?

~Kaminari remembered his watch. He could get Sero here at best in 10 minutes. He would just need to keep her busy. Kaminari was about to push the button on his watch when the woman suddenly spoke again.

~"Actually... Tell me something, Mr. Hero..." Kaminari paused his movements. "Is life worth living, when you are successful in your field of work you love but feel miserable and depressed every single day?" Kaminari lowered his hands, forgetting about the watch completely.

~What did she mean? If you love your work then how can you feel miserable? The stress of success?

~"I guess I can't really answer... I'm happy to work as a hero even when I have a bad day... But, if I would feel I'm unhappy in my agency, I would try another agency to see if I would be happier there." He truthfully explained. The woman nodded softly.

~"That is one way to say it. "Keep trying until you're truly happy." is one of the sentences I've heard a lot. But unfortunately, I can't just do what you would do Mr, hero, that just isn't how it works." She explained in return and then began lightly hopping on the edge as if she was playing a childhood game, which made Kaminari sweat bullets and take more steps closer to you.

~""Three steps forward, smile, come back, lift your hands to your face, and pose." That's how it usually goes. No freedom to choose what you want to do or say in your own damn craft. You just get ordered around and you don't get to decide anything, but they'll still use your name as though you did." 

~She looked at Kaminari in the eyes again. Now that he was closer he could kind of distinguish what color her eyes were. A nice (e/c) that now seemed to burn into his own eyes, the same yellow as the woman's cardigan.

~"Are you now going to say that I'm overreacting? That I just had a particularly bad day today? That I just need to go to sleep, and it will be a better day tomorrow?" It felt like she was taunting him. Daring him to say what the others have said.

~His mind was going in all the directions, trying to figure out how to save someone that doesn't want to be saved. He could easily say that you were just having a bad day because of the short story you told him. But he possibly couldn't. He hasn't seen the whole picture yet. In the heat of the moment he blurted out:

~"No..." For the first time, the woman's eyes widened slightly. She wasn't expecting that.

~"I... I'm in no position to say any of that. I can't possibly judge how much pain you're in if I haven't heard the whole story." He looked down at his feet.

~"I might not know who you are or what you are going through... But all I ask is for you to give yourself more time to maybe talk to someone, one last time. If it doesn't work, then decide what to do." He spoke. He wondered, from where exactly he heard the things he was talking about. He didn't care at the moment, all he wanted right now was for the woman to step down, and away from the roof's edge.

~The woman's demeanor changed. Instead of the blank look on her face, her expression looked... shocked?

~"You... You don't know who I am?..." She questioned, already 80% sure she knew the answer but still wanted a clear confirmation. Kaminari lifted his head from to face the surprised woman and looked at her dumbfounded. 

~"I'm sorry, but I don't. Were you expecting me to?" He asked, trying to figure out if he has seen the woman somewhere before but came up with nothing. 

~"Kind of..." She admitted while she still stared at him, looking like she didn't believe what she was hearing.

~'Is she a girl I met in High school and forgot? Or even in middle school? Why can't I remember?!!'

~'Or is she a...'

~"I'm not a villain if that's what you're thinking, I assure you. Nor have we ever met talked face to face." Like magic, she read his mind, but he was still on the edge a bit which she seemed to sense.

~"If you think I'm a villain, Mr hero, then you can just arrest me now." She lifted her hands in front of her, half-expecting him to actually put her in handcuffs. 

~"No no, there's no need for that! I believe you." Kaminari waved his arms in front of him and stopped once the woman lowered their own hands. "Also, you don't need to call me, Mr hero." He scratched the back of his head embarrassed.

~"What should I call you then? What's your hero name?" He thought deeply for a moment.

~"No... You can call me Kaminari even Denki is fine." He replied confidently and the woman cracked a small smile. It made Kaminari, in turn, to smile lightly, it felt relieving that he managed to make her smile while she was still in a dark place.

~"Alright." She said and hopped off the roof's edge, walking towards a door that held stairs behind it. "It was nice meeting you, Kaminari-kun." Kaminari turned his body to face the departing woman as he slightly panicked.

~"Wha-? W-W-Wait! What's your name?" He asked in a hurried tone. She turned to him.

~"I kind of don't want to tell you." She admitted. 

~"I want to have someone who sees me as for who I am, and not as someone who I was presented as." She finished and left the rooftop, leaving behind a confused Kaminari.

~'What was she talking about?'

~~~

1 Week later...

~Even after a week, the (h/c) haired woman was still in his mind, repeating the last sentence she said to him before leaving the rooftop like a broken record.

~Kaminari didn't tell anyone about the incident. Somehow Kaminari felt like he wanted to give the poor girl a chance to figure things out before involving more people. Then again, even if he did tell someone, what good would it have done?

~He didn't know the victim's name nor her exact address. Plus, no one could force the woman to therapy unless she was breaking the law or causing a disturbance, which she wasn't so his hands were tied either way. 

~Speaking of names, Kaminari was driving himself mad over who she was. In the beginning, she assumed that he knew her but he didn't. She also confessed that they have not met each other in real life, and the way she asked for his name indicated that she really didn't know him. So she wasn't someone who he might've known at one point.

~He also believed that she wasn't a villain, so his options were very limited. How come he can't think of anything?

~"Hellooo...., earth to Denki." Someone spoke from beside him and the said male jumped in his seat. He turned to the owner of the voice and sighed.

~"Wow, for a minute there I thought I won't be able to get you to your senses." Sero joked while chuckling. Kaminari shook his head and turned to his friend again.

~"So what brings you here Hanta?" He asked, trying to get his mind off his previous thoughts.

~"Uhhh... We have patrol remember?" Sero reminded him, already wearing his hero costume and ready to go.

~Oh damn it, he was an idiot.

~"Oh yeah, I remember now! Just give me a sec." Kaminari said as he headed towards the changing rooms. Sero following him.

~"Did you already hear? He got fired this morning...." Kaminaris brain turned on autopilot for the rest of the conversation.

~Before he even realized it, he was already walking down the familiar streets. Alone. What he could remember from Seros explanation was: Since the guy was fired so suddenly, there was no one to do his patrol. So Kaminari and Sero split up again and Sero went to the other route while Kaminari took care of the same one he handled last Saturday night a week ago.

~Last Saturday night...

~Would she be on that rooftop again?

~Kaminari's curiosity got the better of him, and he decided to stop by the apartment building when he got to that part of the area. Just to make himself feel more relaxed when he goes to bed for the night.

~Part of him hoped that the rooftop would be empty and that the person was doing something more mentally healthy, but there was also a 5% part of him that wanted to see the person again. Definitely, not the 'standing on the edge of the roof' way he saw them a week ago, but more like 'they just wanted a breath of fresh air and nothing more' way.

~Kaminari found himself moving faster through the area, while still making sure there was no suspicious activity going on in the middle of the night. Soon enough, he came to the familiar alley and started to climb up the ladder. He peeked from the edge and sure enough, the woman was standing there with the same yellow cardigan. This time, however, she wasn't standing barefoot at the very edge at least.

~She was wearing shoes which was a good sign.

~He made his presence know to the other person by stepping his foot on the roof with stone pebbles crunching under his boots. The person slowly turned around to face him once he walked a bit closer.

~"I wondered if you would show up." She spoke in a half teasing manner, not sounding as hollow as a week ago. Did something happen during this week?

~"Something told me to come and check on you." He told truthfully, not knowing what to else to say.

~"I figured. It must be hard for a hero to accept someone dying so they at least do an effort to see how the person's life is going if they're alive." She mused.

~"Saving and protecting civilians is what we heroes do, we like to see if our actions have made a difference in people."

~"Well, some heroes could surely do a better job if that's what it's about." She commented. Before Kaminari could ask what makes her say such a fact, she changes the subject.

~"But enough about that, instead tell me about your week, Kaminari." She addressed him by his name as she casually sat on the roof's edge, making Kaminari a tad nervous again.

~'Why must she sit so close to the edge?' He grimaced in his mind.

~"You want to know about my day?" He questioned a bit confused.

~"My everyday-life isn't something I much enjoy nowadays, so I'd like to hear someone else's day instead." She looked at him. "Perhaps that would make me feel better." Kaminari hesitantly nodded his head in agreement and started to talk about his day and the past week.

~It wasn't really anything that interesting to talk about to someone, but the look on the woman's face told him differently. They were actually listening to his non-sense rambling and asking questions here and there.

~Maybe working as a hero who likes to joke around and help people with common problems, was by itself more interesting for some, than some other career. But it even surprised him how intrigued the woman was from all the things he had done that week.

~'Maybe she hasn't done things what I have in a long time...'

~After minutes and minutes of talking, Kaminari checked the time from his watch and almost screamed out loud when he read the numbers on the smartwatch.

~"Oh dude! I've been rambling on and on for half an hour! I still haven't patrolled the area!" He exclaimed, already thinking how Sero or his other friends were going to question hat took him so long.

~"Then you should get going, I'm not going to hold you any longer." The female said and stood up. Already walking towards the door.

~"Thank you for chatting with me Kaminari, now I feel less lonely." Kaminari looked at the (h/c) haired girl, now seeing a bit more happiness in her eyes. Seeing it made Kaminari feel better and glad that he decided to stop by.

~"It was nothing, it was fun talking with you." He assured her.

~"Well ain't that nice to hear, have a good night." She lightly bowed her head.

~"Same to you." He responded.

~~~

~Week after another, it became a routine for Kaminari to visit the person who he still didn't know the name of. Both grew quite close during those visits and by now they were very good friends. 

~ After meeting two more times after the second meet up, the (h/c) haired female had proposed that they could see each other perhaps at different times, rather than during Kaminari's patrols at 1 AM. Kaminari agreed and she gave him her phone number so they could text or call each other when they would meet again.

~Since Kaminari didn't know her name, he gave her the nickname Sunflower, due to the yellow cardigan she wears every time they see each other.

~And each time they met, Kaminari started noticing that every day she was happier than the previous day. In the beginning, she only nodded to his jokes, but as time passed, she began to smile more. Fixing her smile from stoic to a small smile and then to a genuine grin was a huge achievement for Kaminari.

~He was proud that he was able to change someone's life for the better. Surely his job's not over, and he doesn't like to refer it as a 'job' since he was doing it because he wanted to, not because he was a hero.

~He mentally made a promise to himself that he'd fix her even if it was the last thing he would do because it would be worth it in the end.

~~~

4 months later...

~"Hey, have you guys heard?" Mina's voice grabbed the attention of all her companions at the table. 

~Her, Kaminari, Sero, Kirishima, and even Bakugou (Convinced to come by Kirishima) were enjoying a cup of coffee at a cafe. It was pretty rare for the old 'Bakusquad' to have a hung out together with all five of them there, but by some miracle, they all either had a day off from work or they had a night shift.

~"Heard about what?" Kirishima asked with his usual happy tone.

~"About the latest celebrity rumor, silly!" Mina exclaimed as she fished out her phone to open the news app, showing it to everyone. There on the screen were countless of articles of the same matter but with different theories.

~'(y/n) (l/n), a well-known song artist is sending love messages to someone with her music videos and interviews!!?'  Read more...

~'Hidden love messages!!? To whom!?'   Read more here...

~'The newest music video by (y/n) (l/n)!!'   Read more...

~"Oh, you're talking about that one singer. Yea, I watch and listen to her music videos, but I haven't really seen anything that would stand out." Sero commented while taking a sip of his coffee. Kaminari raised an eyebrow, as he was confused by what was going on.

~"What are you guys on about?" He asked.

~"Are you joking? It's so obvious that even I realized it after a while. Here let me show you." Mina opened up one of the news articles and started to explain.

~"Before, her music videos were normal and there wasn't anything out of the ordinary for her, but then two months ago the same things kept appearing in her videos, magazine covers, and interviews." She tapped the screen and started playing the most recent music videos published by the artist titled: I need a hero.

~She tapped play and the video started, showing a young woman with (h/c) hair wearing a sparkly black dress and a black blindfold. Though what caught most of Kaminari's attention was the sunflower shaped jewelry/pin on the right side of her chest.

~As the woman sang and moved around, Kaminari saw the same pin also on the woman's hair.

~"She has been either wearing sunflower themed clothing slash jewelry, or she holds an actual sunflower! There isn't a single picture of her without it from the last two months!" She giggled as if she was still in high school. Kaminari continued to stare at the phone as the video continued on playing.

~It was as if his brain had stopped working. 'This has to be a coincidence.' 'There's no way.' Kaminari kept on saying to himself, but it was hard to deny the evidence that lay in front of his eyes.

~The singer looked a lot like the woman he has been seeing for the past four months and even a middle schooler could link the nickname he gave her and the sunflowers together, not to mention her voice. But he still could not believe it.

~Then came the final confirmation. The video shifted from the singing woman to a scene where a man wearing a cape ran and jumped on rooftops, presenting a hero running to the rescue. Then it cuts to the woman standing on another rooftop, singing, and dancing awfully close to the edge.

~"I need a hero!!!         I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light.       He's gotta be sure, and he's gotta be soon, and he's gotta be larger than life."

~Then the singer jumps on the very edge, reminding Kaminari how the woman wearing a yellow cardigan jumped on the edge the same way. And no matter how high of a building she seemed to be standing on, she showed no fear while dancing.

~"I need a hero!!!     I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night.     And he's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast, and he's gotta be fresh from a fight!"

~"I need a hero!..."

~At the final line, the woman leaned back on the edge as though to fall to her demise, but a hand grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her against them to safety. The woman and the hero looked at each other for a moment before they embraced each other in a loving hug. Then the video faded into blackness with a caption:

~"Only one hero can save this sunflower."

~That was all that Kaminari needed to confirm once and for all that, his sunflower, is (y/n) (l/n).

~"Why are you looking so much into shit that might not be even true?" Bakugou commented gruffly and Mina gasped.

~"Because it's romantic and the last video just basically proves all the rumors! There's no doubt in my mind that she has someone she cares about but just doesn't know how to express it! It's basically a love story!" She argued with the ash blond. The blond 'tch'ed and went back to drinking his latte.

~"I admit that your theory isn't completely ridiculous, but aren't things like confessions supposed to be done with only the person they're confessing to?" Kirishima pointed out, kind of surprised that he himself was actually this interested about it. 

~"Who cares!? It's cute!" Mina squealed but her momentum stopped when Kaminari abruptly stood up from his seat and started to gather his things.

~"Whoa, What's the rush Denki?" Sero inquired as he watched as the blond grabbed his phone from the table and started to exit the cafe.

~"I suddenly realized that I have something to take care of!" He called behind him and bolted out of the store to the street. While running, he sent a quick text to his sunflower that he wanted to meet her at their usual spot. He pocketed the device and ran faster.

~He needed to see you. He needed to ask why you didn't tell him the truth. Why you would think that he would see you differently if he found out.

~Honestly at this point he didn't even care if you were actually a villain or a mafia boss, he just wanted answers to his questions.

~Did you like him back?

~Kaminari ran into the alleyway and jumped on the ladder to begin climbing at record speed. Just as he made it to the top, the handle on the rooftop door turned and from behind the door, out stepped you, wearing the same color cardigan as his eyes. You looked semi-happy as you stepped outside, but as you got a glimpse of his own slightly out of breath expression, yours turned into a one of concern.

~"What happened Denki? Is everything alright?" You asked him as you stepped closer to him, ready to hear him out. The said male panted and looked at her.

~"Why... Why didn't you... tell me?" He said between short pants.

~"What are you talking about?" You inquired. Kaminari breathed in deeply and looked into her eyes again.

~"(y/n) (l/n). Your name is (y/n) (l/n)."

~In a half a second, your caring demeanor changed and you looked at the ground with the stoic face you used to wear before meeting Denki. But despite your blank expression, you were shaking as if you were standing on top of a windy mountain while gripping your fists tightly.

~This was it... Now, he is either going to begin geeking out on how much big of a fan he was of your music, or he's going to leave you because he doesn't want the pressure of hanging out with someone who's known by almost every other person in Japan.

~You were surprised how long it took for Denki to finally realize who you really were. In all your videos you wore a blindfold because that's what your manager and producer want you to do. In their mind it makes you look mysterious and "Limited", referring to a limited object that not anyone can get.

~Because of that blindfold, he might've not realized it before. Now that he did, everything's going to go back to your depressing reality that he light up with his goofiness...

~"When did you notice?" You asked him.

~"Just 15 minutes ago, I was at a cafe with my friends and they started talking about this popular song artist." As Kaminari said the last words, he could visibly see you tense up. "I didn't know what they were talking about even after they said her name. Only when I saw her in a music video did I know who the person was." He stepped closer to you.

~"At first I didn't believe my eyes and ears when I saw their (h/c) and heard their voice. I was fully convinced when I saw the ending of the video, where you almost fell from the rooftop you stood on. But a hero came to your rescue and in the very ending, you quoted yourself as a sunflower." He explained and you looked at him in slight confusion. Before you could say anything he speaks again.

~"Why didn't you tell me? Did you think I would leave or treat you differently now that I know your name?" He asked stepping even more closer.

~"I-I... I Don't-" You stuttered while tearing up. "What was I supposed to expect? That's how it always has been..." You shifted your gaze downcast once again.

~"Every person I know or knew, they didn't care about me, they only cared about my fame and how it was going to benefit them if we were a couple or my small crush would leave me once they realized my identity because they could not handle being in the spotlight."

~"The last relationship I was in went just like the first scenario, he trash-talked me and made me feel unimportant. He even said that he didn't care if I took the final step from the rooftop. I was only an art-piece whats sole purpose was to make money, anything I did wasn't about the art anymore, just income." Kaminari slowly began to piece the puzzle pieces together.

~"I somehow managed to make him leave, but things mostly stayed the same about me still being a puppet. That's all I ever am to them, an object. A doll that they can make sing and dance to make a profit, disguising it as "a modern business" or "That's how things go these days." I'm amazed how much bullshit they can spit out from their mouths every day."

~"You are not a doll! You are a human! A person, a living being! Why did you stay in that toxic environment!?" Denki gathered up all his confidence and gently gripped your forearms and exclaimed. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. You were suffering and almost ended your life because of it, but yet, you stayed...

~"Every time I thought of leaving and quitting, I knew my manager and everybody I work with would make my life even more of living hell if I did quit. And after every day, I thought things would get better one day. That's why I kept going, doing my best at being positive that one-day things would change."

~"And comically enough, it somewhat did after meeting you." You confessed. Denki was taken aback by it.

~"W-What do you mean?"

~"Everybody in my life didn't care about my feelings or what I wanted! You were the first person in years who treated me like a friend, a human with problems that CAN be fixed. After meeting you, I felt more confident to speak up and say no to things I didn't want. Two months ago, I even managed to change what I can do or wear in my interviews or videos."

~"You mean the sunflowers?"

~"Y-Yes... You gave me so much confidence that I wanted to have a reminder of you with me everywhere, like a form of comfort." You admitted now leaning on his shoulder while Denki shifted a bit to hug you. 

~"You did that because of me?" He felt like he was now only asking questions and not saying things he probably should be saying, but this was new to him and he didn't know how to deal with it.

~"Yeah..." You nodded. "I felt happy again whenever I thought about you, and I wanted to be truly happy again while I sang. So I fought back against my producers and demanded change. Over time, I actually started to have more power over what I wanted to wear or how I wanted to do my music again. Of course, I had to still do many things the way they wanted, but it was one step forward." Then Kaminari remembered.

"So this was what you meant by what you said back then... You love singing and acting but you felt miserable because you were basically forced to do it how other people liked it rather than how you wanted to do it." You nodded.

"I felt so powerless so I didn't fight back. But then you opened my eyes and told me I can try again!" You looked into his eyes and he could have cried out of happiness when he saw the beautiful and bright smile on your face.

~"I'm so proud of you." Kaminari hugged you tightly and you two laughed together as he lightly spun you around.

~"I'm so happy I managed to save you..." Kaminari mumbled to your shoulder a single tear staining your cardigan.

~"So am I..." You mumbled in return to his shoulder, instead if one tear, you had many flowing down your face as you felt overly emotional and couldn't stop them from coming.

~"Are the news articles true?" Kaminari suddenly asked and you pulled apart.

~"New's articles? I don't really read them." You admitted as you dried your tears with your cardigan sleeve.

~"My friends were talking about the rumor of you hiding love messages in each of your videos." He explained. "And apparently your quote: "Only one hero can save this sunflower." has caused quite the ruckus." He chuckled nervously but found his confidence once again when you smiled at him gently.

~"So, are they?" He asked hopefully.

~"Heh... Looks like I wasn't sneaky enough." You chuckled. "I made that quote to see if you would notice, and in some way you did. Now I am curious, did you like it?" You questioned.

~"Of course I did."

~"Then... Will you love this sunflower?" You questioned again.

~"I'd love nothing more."

~He abandoned all his doubts and went in for the kiss. You happily kissed him back as you hugged his neck tightly while he did the same on your waist and back. 

~The moment felt like time had stopped ticking and in the moment was just the two of you. You, a Sunflower and him, a hero. Both of you wished it would've lasted longer, but the need for air was no longer unnoticeable as you pulled apart.

~"I don't care if you're a popular singer or an ordinary office worker. I want to help you to be happy, and help you forget your dark thoughts." Kaminari confessed. "Let me be there for you when you need me." He practically pleaded, not wanting to let go of the person who he had grown to care deeply about.

~"Only if I can do the same for you." You answered.

~"I love you, my sunflower."

~"I love you too, my hero."

[oforamuse]

sun in my eyes

it’s moments like this, when they’re alone and mickey’s walls slowly, slowly start to come down, when he smiles at one of ian’s jokes, when he opens up about something unexpected, something personal, when he passes him a cigarette to put between his lips that’s still wet from being between his, that makes it all worth it.

or, a missing moment during ian and mickey's summer together in season 2 inspired by davenzi’s first kiss // read and comment on ao3

It’s hot. It’s really fucking hot.

Ian’s exhausted and feels gross. Sticky. He barely slept at all last night - a bedroom with three sweaty boys and no working AC unit to relieve them sucks at the best of times, let alone during a hot summer night. He’d spent most of it sitting at the window with a cigarette, hoping to entice some sort of breeze their way.

It didn’t work.

Summers in Chicago are brutal. The heat, the humidity, the constant sweat dripping down the back of your shirt.  

It’s unbearable.

Ian presses his forehead against the cool glass of the Kash and Grab’s drink fridge, a crate of mismatched beers resting on his hip as he takes a moment to breathe whilst restocking.

He’s there for a moment, possibly longer - in this heat he can’t tell, time moves by so fucking slowly - when Mickey slumps against the door next to him.

‘You good?’ Mickey says, his back pressed against the glass. He smells of smoke, sweat and the cheap brand of detergent the Milkoviches use, when they use it, all balled into one.

‘Hot.’ Ian groans, twisting his head away from the glass and pulling himself upwards, leaving behind a smeared sheen of sweat where his forehead had just been.

Mickey eyes him, ‘Fuckin’ gross, man.’

‘Fuck off, it’s too fucking hot.’ Ian wipes a hand across his moist forehead, already missing the cool relief from the glass of the fridge door.

He watches as Mickey pushes himself off the door and twists, pulling it open and grabbing a chilled beer from the back. He presses it against his forehead, just as Ian had done with the door, Mickey’s eyes are closed for that brief second of can against skin contact and Ian allows himself that moment to look, unbeknownst to the other man. Mickey’s got a shine on his forehead that follows down his neck, he’d been unloading boxes from a delivery just before - clearly it took it out of him. He’s wearing a threadbare tank top which sticks to his torso in a couple of places, the left side of his ribcage, his upper chest, and it’s all he can do to chew the inside of his mouth to stop him from doing something stupid like moaning out loud.

Mickey’s eyes open and he averts his gaze quickly - getting caught staring isn’t worth the shit talking afterwards. It’s easier this way, he’s learnt now, stealing his gazes secretly and in small doses.

Mickey twists the bottle cap off deftly and chugs half of it down in a single fluid motion.

‘You gonna pay for that?’ Ian asks, forcing himself to look away from the way Mickey’s throat moves as the liquid goes down. He steps past him and leans his back against the store’s counter, crossing his arms over his chest, steadying himself. ‘I’m the one who’s gonna have to make up for that.’

Mickey shrugs, and moves the bottle from his lips and burps loudly, then wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

‘Wanna get out of here?’ He asks, ignoring Ian’s question with a grin - which is pretty much what he expected, really, because Mickey likes to take his liberties where he can - especially when it comes to taking free shit from work.

Ian pulls a face at the suggestion - it catches him off guard slightly so it’s a quick reaction, but it doesn’t completely throw him off balance. He’s used to being caught off guard by Mickey these days. He shrugs and sighs, ‘We’ve got like an hour until we close up- it’ll be my ass gettin’ shit if Linda finds out we bounced.’

‘I can’t spend another minute in this shithole, I’m sweatin’ my balls off man.’

Ian scoffs, toes the line, flirts maybe, ‘Your balls seemed pretty okay an hour ago.’

An hour ago when he’d been down on his knees giving Mickey head in the back of the store’s cooler. It was too hot to fuck fuck, they soon quickly realised after a miserable attempt - two sweaty, overheated bodies are worse than one and decidedly they settled on mutual blowjobs.

Mickey swipes at his lip, ‘Whatever- there must be some sort of fuckin’ human rights violation makin’ us work in this.’

‘You want a working AC? You pay for it. Linda sure as hell won’t.’

‘Can’t be fuckin’ legal.’ Mickey grumbles, throwing the empty beer bottle in the trash with an exaggerated toss. ‘Fuckin’ criminal.’

Ian rolls his eyes and gets back to restocking shit in the fridges - there’s only a few more crates to get through anyway - then he can get back home and more importantly, the above ground pool with his name on.

It only takes another ten more minutes of sluggish working, the sweat dripping down his back doubling, for Ian to consider Mickey’s offer. Hardly anyone has stopped by the store today - they had a small barbecue rush when they first opened up, but as the day got warmer, customers coming by to pick up beer, ice or snacks dried up.

Neither one of them had bothered to unlock the door after they’d gone out back, Ian realises now and no one’s knocked in the last hour, so it’s not like there are people lining up outside wanting to spend a dollar or two. Linda’s busy with the new kid, so he knows she hasn’t been watching the cameras recently…

He drops his empty crate next to where Mickey’s situated himself at the counter - apparently given up on his jobs for the day a while ago.

‘Alright, where do you wanna go?’  

Mickey looks up from where he’s been flicking through a magazine, his left eyebrow quirked upwards.

‘Changed your fuckin’ tune.’

‘Let’s just get out of here.’

They gather their shit quickly and Ian shuts everything official down, dumping the cash from the day into the safe underneath the till. He’ll double count it tomorrow. Linda won’t know.

Once they step out onto the humid street, with the store’s lights switched off, deliveries shoved to the side for tomorrow and the door locked behind them, Ian turns to Mickey.

‘Dugouts?’ He suggests, tipping his head in the direction they’d take - it’s become their usual spot this summer, they’ve spent a couple nights fucking against the chain link fence, sharing beers, cigarettes and laughs.

Mickey looks at him for a moment, considering, then says,

‘Nah man.’ shaking his head and chucking a thumb over his shoulder, ‘This way.’

He follows Mickey’s lead up the steps into the station and they jump over the turnstiles to the L, ducking onto the first train that pulls onto the platform. It’s the middle of the work day still so it’s pretty empty and somehow, by some miracle, they managed to snag a carriage with a working AC.

They don’t speak for most of the ride, Ian periodically looking up at Mickey at every stop until eventually he gets distracted from keeping track. They finally pull into a station about 20 minutes later and Mickey grunts out a gruff ‘Gallagher.’ and he has to pull himself up and out of the doors before they close.

Mickey leads them half a mile or so down a few blocks and Ian can feel the sun burning down on the exposed skin at the nape of his neck - he’ll regret his lack of sunblock later when he’s dealing with Fiona’s disapproving glare at the pinked skin, he knows it.

‘What are we doing walkin’ so far in this heat?’ Ian says, though lets it trail off as Mickey stops abruptly, pausing on the sidewalk.

They’ve stopped in front of a tall, locked metal gate with a PRIVATE PROPERTY sign hooked over the top - there’s a giant padlock on the front but a couple bars have been bent out of shape, presumably to bypass without a key. Ian looks up at it, craning his head slightly to get a good look behind. It seems like it opens into a dim shady alleyway between two buildings, even in the yellow haze of summer it gives him the creeps.

Ian’s about to ask why they fuck he brought him here when he’s stopped by Mickey pulling himself up and over the fence, the muscles working in his arms as he goes. It’s a bit clumsy and when he drops down into the alley on the other side, he loses his balance slightly but recovers quickly in his cool but cocky Mickey like fashion.

He smirks at Ian, a challenge burning in his eyes and even more so in his tone when he says, ‘You comin’?’

It’s on.

Ian drops his cigarette to the ground wordlessly and reaches up to grip the top. He hooks his foot onto one of the metal bars that’s slightly curved inwards and launches himself over the top. He drops down next to Mickey with an edge more grace than Mickey did - it’s the ROTC training in him, he quirks his eyebrow.

‘Yeah, yeah okay, tough guy -’

The nickname’s said mockingly, it’s a new one for him - appearing only recently after Mickey had got back from juvie - and something warm in his stomach, something not from the heat of the sun, bubbles at the idea that he cares enough, perhaps, to give him a nickname.

They walk down the alleyway, which to Ian’s surprise, opens up to a green, sparsely albeit, field lined with bare boned trees and trash. There’s a building in the middle of it, but from the outside Ian can tell it’s been a while since it saw round the clock action. There’s broken windows, peeling paint and graffiti tags smattering the outside walls. It’s the type of place Frank and his homeless friends probably come to get drunk- or teenagers to fuck, perhaps.

It’s probably what they’re here for, honestly.

‘Where the fuck are we?’ Ian asks as they walk closer, the building looking more and more worn as they approach. They share a cigarette, passing it slowly between them with clammy fingers.  

‘Used to come here with my cousins, good place to smoke.’ Mickey says with an exhale, then drops the butt to the ground and snuffs it out with his heel, ‘Not this shit though.’

Ian pulls a face cause it seems like a pretty far place to come to smoke, but he doesn’t press the issue - fuck knows the Milkovich reasoning for things, and instead asks,

‘You got the weed?’

Mickey gives him a, of course I’ve got the fuckin weed, raised eyebrow.

He stops them at a basement level window - it’s covered up by a broken door - seemingly haphazardly placed there by whoever was here last. Mickey moves it out of the way, shoving it against the outer wall and creates just enough space for an averaged sized person to slip through the window and inside.

‘Hope you’ve got your shots.’ is all Mickey says before he drops down and slides through the low window. There’s a bit of shuffling, then he hears Mickey calls, ‘Gallagher.’  

I hope the free clinic covered the shots for this shit, is what Ian thinks as he follows Mickey down into the building, landing with soft knees once he drops through.

Despite the high summer sun outside, it’s dark inside - almost too dark, and Ian fumbles for his lighter in his back pocket as Mickey leads them through the dark passages of what he assumes is the old building’s basement.

‘Too dark for ya?’

Ian kicks the back of Mickey’s knee and he buckles, losing his footing for a moment and placing his hand on the wall to steady himself.

‘Fuck you.’ Mickey says, there’s a little bite to it but he’s laughing, a light, chesty chuckle.

‘Too dark for ya?’ Ian imitates, waving the lit lighter in front of Mickey’s face, teasingly almost.

‘Fuck off.’ Mickey tosses back, exasperated almost, but fondly enough that it doesn’t sting.

It’s playful and easy, really, to exist in the thrumming energy they’ve grown between them. It’s easy to be around each other like this, when the weather is too hot to focus on anything except making dumb jokes, fucking and sharing a beer.

Like friends, friends and so much more.

He follows Mickey through the derelict rooms and hallways, up broken stairs into higher levels out of the basement. It’s lighter now, the sun comes through cracked windows and Ian gets to have a good look around. It’s dusty and there’s broken shit everywhere, but it’s pretty much been shelled out of anything that might’ve been left behind of worth - this is the Southside after all.

‘Fuckin’ long way to go just for a place to smoke, Mick.’ Ian says, voicing the thought he had earlier as he tucks the lighter back into his jeans now that he doesn’t need it.

Mickey slows as if they’re about to reach their destination and tips his head towards an open door on the other side of the hall, ‘Won’t be sayin’ that for long.’

They walk through the opening into-

A swimming pool?

The room is huge, with high ceilings, peeling walls and unfilled space, and in the middle there is a large rectangular swimming pool.

It’s empty, absolutely bone dry and clearly hasn’t been used in a long time.

‘Hottest day of the year and we are at a pool with no water.’ Ian comments as they walk around the edge - where you’d go to dump your stuff before jumping in, past the metal ladder. His voice echoes in the empty space, ‘Makes sense.’

Mickey flips him off, ‘Guess I’ll smoke this joint by myself then.’

‘This was a fucking great idea.’

They sit on the side of the pool, their legs dangling over the edge, nothing but warm air where the cool water should be.

It’s not as hot, thankfully, there’s even some sort of breeze whistling through and it cools the sweat dripping down the back of his neck. He leans back on his hands as Mickey rolls a blunt on his bent knee and checks the place out properly.

The pool walls are tiled blue - or at least they used to be, once, when this place was pristine and in regular use - but now there’s a few chipped away, leaving the walls a smattering of blue and white, it’s mismatched and worn.

Three lane dividers still hang from the shallow end to the deep, it’s hard to imagine that this place was used once, that people would come here regularly to exercise, swimming back and forth down each lane.

They talk about nonsensical things whilst they smoke, his stomach is warm and happy.

‘How’d you find this place?’ Ian asks after he exhales, placing the blunt into Mickey’s expectant fingers. He shifts on his ass, twisting to get a good look at the place.

It’s pretty fucking cool, he’s got to admit. There’s something about abandoned places, especially something as big as an empty swimming pool that fascinates him. Mickey was right, it was definitely worth the way to go just to smoke.

Mickey doesn’t answer for a moment and Ian watches out of the corner of his eye as he smokes.

Inhale, hold, exhale, inhale, hold, exhale.

Then, almost just as Ian forgot the question he asked, Mickey speaks.

‘Dad pissed me off one day. I left and I just walked.’ He sniffs, holding out the blunt for Ian to take. He’s not looking at him though, his eyes are glazed slightly and Ian doesn’t know if that’s the weed or…well, something else. ‘I kept walkin’ and I found this place.’

‘You walked the entire way over here?’

They must be at least an hour’s walk or so from Canaryville, it was a good 20 mins on the L - not the easiest walk you want to do by yourself.

‘Yeah.’

‘You come here a lot?’

‘Every now an’ then.’ Mickey says keeping his gaze fixed ahead of him, his voice is stiff, detached almost, and Ian finally, finally understands what he’s saying.

This isn’t where he comes to smoke weed with his cousins.

This is where he comes to escape. To hide.

This is where he brought Ian when he felt the need to get away, do you wanna get out of here?  

Even if it was just from the stuffy, too hot store they both work at.

It’s moments like this, when they’re alone and Mickey’s walls slowly, slowly start to come down, when he smiles at one of Ian’s jokes, when he opens up about something unexpected, something personal, when he passes him a cigarette to put between his lips that’s still wet from being between his, that makes it all worth it.

Makes all the longing, all the kiss me and i’ll cut your fucking tongue out, all the brash, insistent arms length distance between the two of them worth it.

He knows deep down, no matter how ridiculous it may seem, one day it’ll be worth it.

Mickey’s vulnerable in that moment, guard down and beautifully open.

They’re in this weird, weed, emotion, heat heavy haze. The tension is thick and Ian feels the urge to press in closer, despite the temperature, to touch, to comfort, to get them both off, perhaps, but the moment breaks when Mickey pushes himself off the pool’s side and drops down to the tiled floor, right into where the water should be.

Ian quickly takes one last toke before stubbing the joint out, holding the weed in his lungs, his throat, and only exhaling as he drops down to meet Mickey on the pool floor.

Mickey elbows Ian in the ribs, kicking things off and they spend a few minutes chasing each other up and down the empty pool, swinging off the hanging lane dividers like kids. It’s sloped from the deep end to the shallow, so it’s more work than it looks and Mickey ends up doubled over in the deep end, catching his breath.

‘Too fuckin’ hot for that.’

‘You started it.’ Ian points out, a smug grin plastered on his face because he knows he’s faster than Mickey, could outrun him too and that’s more likely the reason Mickey wants to stop.

‘Whatever.’

‘We’re actually underwater right now.’ Ian says, feeling a little high, it’s dumb but he’s enjoying himself. The after effects of the weed buzzing warmly through his veins and perhaps there’s something more, perhaps it’s the effects of them.

He feels light, lighter than he has done in a while.

‘Shut the fuck up.’ Mickey rolls his eyes, his tone is playful though and he smirks, bringing the blunt back up to his lips. He’s amused - and just knowing that he’s the source of Mickey’s amusement, he can make Mickey laugh, gives him the push to keep going.  

‘No- we are , look-’ Ian says with a chuckle, he points up towards the peeling sign above their heads that says WATER LEVEL on the tiled wall. He does this dumb movement with his arms, like he’s swimming or something, it’s goofy, but Ian doesn’t care, ‘That means we can’t breathe right now.’

‘Yeah okay- that weed got to your head.’ Mickey says, pushing himself up off the wall. ‘No more for you.’

‘Bet I can hold my breath longer than you.’

‘The fuck are you talkin’ about, man.’

‘Bet I can hold my breath longer than you can.’ It’s flirty, Ian knows it, Mickey knows it.

Ian knows he’s toeing the line of what’s acceptable and what’s not. It’s a dangerous game to play, one wrong move could send Mickey running. He’s feeling lucky.

There’s something in Mickey’s eyes and Ian wonders if the weed is getting to him too.

Or if it’s something else.

‘Yeah, yeah, okay.’

Ian pushes.

‘Let’s see then’

‘You kiddin’ me.’

‘What? Afraid you’ll lose?’ Ian smirks, he knows the way to get Mickey to play along is to test the waters of how far his ego will go.

‘Fuck off.’

They take an exaggerated deep breath at the exact same time, their cheeks inflated like they’re in some Nickelodeon cartoon.

Mickey breaks after a handful of seconds - can’t be more than 7 maximum, and Ian barks out a laugh.

‘Ha!’ He claps his hands together, ‘I told you.’

‘Fuckin’ rematch.’

‘Yeah, yeah, okay.’ Ian mocks, echoing Mickey’s earlier words. He picks up on it too, if the curved corner of his mouth is anything to go by.

They take a deep breath together again, and Mickey’s eyes are teasing, almost.

He looks so fucking good in this light, even with the shitty beard he’s trying to grow. The bright, summer evening sun beams through a broken window on the ceiling, casting a warm glow on Mickey’s face. It’s fucking ethereal.

It occurs to Ian, Mickey all playful and soft edged in the humidity and heat, at ease, that he could kiss him right now.

Wants to kiss him right now.

Wants to kiss him right now more than fucking anything.

He could step forward, press his lips to Mickey’s and deal with the consequences later. Take what he so desperately wants.

Give Mickey what he knows he wants.

Wants but will never let himself have.

Maybe. One day.

He doesn’t though. Instead, the thought catches him so off guard, distracted by the what ifs and what could possibly be, that the breath he’s been holding falls out of his mouth in a dramatic, breathy, ‘Fuck.’

Mickey holds his for a split second longer then lets out a triumphant noise, fist pumping the air for good measure when he exhales.

‘Beat you, bitch.’

The utter cocky glee on Mickey’s face makes him feel like he can fly or some shit - right out the building and into the sky. Then suddenly they’re laughing, full out body wracking laughing, it’s the weed, it’s them and they’re moving closer and closer - this is the way it goes with them, heat be damned. They’ll quickly move on to shirts off, pants down, Mickey bent forward-

There’s the bark of a dog.

They freeze. Mickey even has his hands on his belt, ready-

‘Hey! You two!’ A voice bellows and it echoes, bouncing off of the walls, cringing into their skin. Their heads snap up towards the intruder and they’re greeted by a red faced security guard and his massive dog on a leash.

It’s a fucking angry looking dog.

They book it, only stopping for a millisecond for Mickey to scoop up the rest of their stash, then they’re off, running as quickly as they can, dodging their way through the building’s twisted hallways and empty rooms.

They laugh the entire time, stumbling into each other as they scramble through the window and out onto the field.

The dog’s bark can still be heard behind them so they don’t stop, their feet pounding the dry, yellowed grass, their breath falling out in heavy and exhausted puffs.  

‘Fuckin’ asshole!’ Mickey shouts over his shoulder, his voice carrying in the muggy air, picking up his speed now they’re in view of the fence.

His voice, the warm sun, the blood pumping through his veins.

It feels like bliss.

Let’s keep going, Ian thinks as he matches his speed with Mickey’s, let’s just keep fucking running.

He could run by Mickey’s side for the rest of his life.

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 16 + 17.12.20 lb

16.12.20

riddhima having completely opposite reaction to me, on discovering ki iss shakal ke do do bande ghoom rahein hain dharti pe.

hubs praising wifey’s intellect (he has a real low bar huh) in attached note and saying ki yeh birthday kamaaaaaaaal ka hoga.

meanwhile kabir has come back to investigate the trap door. bhai you keep saying “policewaala hoon, policewaala hoon” but i don’t see you actually going to work. “policewaala hoon” is this show’s “main AAAAADIIIINAAAAAGIN hoon!!!!!!!!!!!!!” to which literally all of us just respond, haan toh???? nahi matlab, sach mein.......... TOH??? hum kya hi karein iss bohut hi obvious yet useless information ke saath?

A+ hide and seek game going on here.

lmaooooooo iski shakal dekho, on being interrogated. he’s suchhhhhhhhhhhhh a shady fuck.

oh boy she said the word that shouldn’t ever be said to tellywood MLs..... “warna”....... it only leads to one thing:

yup. this fuckery.

“tumhe har baat kyun jaanni hoti hai??? nahi bataana.” lmao well, when you put it like that......

some ainvayi ka blah blah meant to deter her but only makes her more determined. coz hubs knows wifey veryyyyyyyyyy well by now.

also he just said that the raaz is “khoobsoorat”. so this has a positive result ultimately i think?

andddd he dropped a new aag metaphor: “aag dekhne mein khoobsoorat hai lekin usmein haath daalna akalmandi ka kaam nahi hai.” (remember when he told her as vansh wrt the whole ragini thing ki “aag mein haath daalogi toh aag ko kuch nahi hota, lekin tumhare haath jal jaayenge.”)

also lmao kab karti hai riddhima akalmandi ka kaam????? yes MO is literally just “is it questionable and are people telling me RIDDHIMA NOOOOOO? THEN RIDDHIMA YESSSSSSSSS.”

so of course she’s like fuck you i wanna know at alllll costs.

“yeh raaz tumhe ek aisi duniya mein le jayega riddhima jahaan se laut ke aana tumhare liye impossible hai.” ....... so exactly like being stuck in this house/family????? pfttttt, warn her with something she HASN’T been dealing with everyday for the past 6 months.

some more dumb mysterious metaphors and he finally leaves. 

NOW WHO THE FUCK IS WATCHING HER FROM OUTSIDE?????? OUFF THIS FUCKING HOUSE IS FILLED WITH CREEPS AND PERVERTS.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MIRROR KE PEECHE THERE’S ONE ITTTU SA SAFE  MADE SPECIALLY JUST TO HOLD ONE (1) THIN PIECE OF PAPER. AMAZING.

OH?

OHHHH??????

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

meanwhile idhar someone badeeeeeee safaai se maarofied the photo. ok you were spying on her from outside and knew that there was a compartment behind the mirror. BUT HOW DID YOU CRACK THE PASSWORD ON FIRST TRY??????????? IDHAR MERE KO APNA HI GMAIL TUMBLR INSTA PASSWORD 3 BAAR ENTER KARNE HOTE HAIN BEFORE IT LETS ME IN.

“happy birthday, Dollar Biwi!” mmmmhmmm got you all wet under the shower in black, Happy Birthday to all of us, indeed!!!!!

“i hope tum hamesha aise hi girti raho aur main pakadta rahoon!” snort. vihaan babu, permanantly yahaan ghar basaane ka plan banaa liya hai kya???? not even pretending anymore that he’s not in this mess for saath janam.

lmao she’s like fuck you i just wanna know the secret.

smarmy fuck is like hmmmmmm, birthday ke din bataaa hi doon kya? fucking tease.

he’s like ok fine, in the evening, at the party you’ll get a gift that’ll be your answer.

she’s like if you break your promise and don’t give me the answer?

“toh koi aur de dega.” this fuckerrrrrrrrrrr. he playing 3d chess, he fully knows what’s happening outside with the picture!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

she’s like pls no one else knows this secret, i have hidden it verrrrrrrrrrrry safely; and he’s like, if there’s one thing i learnt from vansh, it’s that the walls of VR mansion are neverrrrrrr safe. kabhi bhi kuchhhhhhhh bhi ho sakta hai.

Chehra Appreciation Break.

she runs out and........... the photo is goneeeeeeeee.

riddhima constantly wanting to beat up/murder vihaan is such a Mood lmao.

anyway he beat her with the powers of Logic. and Handsomeness. mostly Logic tho.

so if he didn’t do it................. she concludes ki obviously it was kabir.

ok but what if it was ANGRE, who’s milofied with boss to give bhaabiji an excellent birthday surprise???? he too knows howwwwwww much sis loves to do jasoosi and play these games. MAN JUST GIMME MY V/ANGRE BROTP BACKKKKKKKKKK.

anyway, birthday surprise has now turned into a headache and hubs like oh nooooooo, this is not what i wanted???? i wanted her to be happpppy and enjoy herselffffff.

girl back at bappa’s sharan. coz where else to go, really?

oh shit dadi’s here ranting and raving about knowing the truth. ohhhhhhhhh boy.

dadi has decided to make herself the birthday candle that riddhima has to blow out.

man, the matriarch of the house is throwing kerosene all over herself and everyone’s just standing around watching, instead of intervening in any useful way. everyone just want that raisinghania $$$$$$$ huh?

oh. dream tha. this bloody show and its never-ending dream sequences.

waise bhi iss set pe roz 4-5 cake aate hi honge, toh unko bas stack kar liya, ho gaya kaam. production mein se extra budget nahi nikaalna pada iske liye.

V has specialllllllllllll gift for Dollar Biwi. yeh hua na gifttttttt. yisssssss gimme that USD, sonnnnnnn. exchange rate 73 touch kar gaya hai and the way it’s going........ it’s gonna reach even higher soon.

aslkjdaslkjdlaskjdlkaslksajd riddhima and kabir’s reactions. they’re honestly so fucking done with this asshole.

ishani like since when you have such a sense of humour, bhai????? arre tha hamesha se hi, tum logon ne mauka hi kab diya hai bande ko joke maarne ka? har waqt kuch na kuch kalesh chalta rehta hai iss ghar mein jo bechaare ko sametna hota hai.

kabir adding to anxiety with this birthday will be so special blah blah blah.

and now the cake R cut just exploded with red liquid that ishani injected into it. birthday ke din hi tum sabhi manhooson ko bachchi pe bhadaas nikaalni hai???? ek din toh baksh do bechaari ko.

LOL DADI KNOWS IT’S ISHANI AND SHE’S JUST LIKE

sab ka cake khaana khilaana blah blah.

hubs takes a moment to actually wish her sincerely with mushy eyes and soft voice. sweet.

ouff one moreeeeee surprise. aaj shaam birthday party. organized by kabir. greaaaaaat. 

riddhima’s face = mine when i too am forced into social events that i have less than zero interest in attending.

lmaooooooooooooo kabir called him “vansh bhai” and the slowwwwww turn V did to look at him like ‘bitch what you say??????’

snark snark snark.

kabir rolling out some tray and......... the episode ends. god this is so fucking boring so much buildup to a bloody partyyyyyyyyyyy.  just get it the fuck over with my god!!!!!!!

———————————————————————

17.12.20

K’s presented her with a buncha envelopes to choose the theme of the party or some such shit and riddhima’s like the fucker had put the photo in one of these for sureeeeeee.

Chehra(s) Appreciation Break

anyway she picked one envelope and there’s a letter from K saying i have the secret you were hiding, it’ll be out in the party, blah blah.

interesting thing is that this letter is written in hindi. the letter from vansh was hindi transliterated in english. hmmmmmm. i mean, lol, this has no larger bearing on the plot, just an observation i’m making and wondering about the show’s choices.

lmao he did this lil eyebrow thing that just neeeeeeded to be giffed. i love this face so much!

hubs is sensing something is realllllllllll wrong and taking charge of the conversation and declares party ka theme colour is gold, and that riddhima is gonna look hot in black and gold. uh....... ok?

everyone disperses and V is warning K ki if you fuck this party up in anyyyyyyyyy way that makes the birthday girl upset..............

vishal is making sooooooooo many amazing gif-worthy faces today. about time i make a set on him.

riddhima turning K’s room uthal-puthal to find the photo and obviously failsssss.

and he’s here with a bouquet of balloons and OMG BURSTING THEM ONE BY ONE LIKE THIS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

lotsaaaaaaaa threatening blah blah and riddhima is trying to reason with him and............ god i’m so bored.

“tum na riddhima bohut hi ajeeb type ki ladki ho. jis kaam ke liye mana kiya jaata hai tum EXACTLY wohi karti ho!!!!” hahahahahaha both her boytoys should meet up over a drink about this very special characteristic of her’s. they’ll find they have more in common than they think.

lmao literally noone else can make a party horn and the birthday song seem this hilariously threatening. i love him so muchhhhh.

behen is now crying in front of vansh’s photu. you know, to spice things up a lil.

saw some random photo frame sitting there, and just opened it and happened to find a bank transfer reciept from vansh to vihaan. for 5 crore. and on the 8th of december, 2017. ok but my question is what about the frame said ki open this and find exactly what you’re looking for behind the picture???????

storming off to find V and............

lo ji aaj ke girrne ka karyakram shuru.

lmao the contrast in reactions.

“kismat tumhe har pal, har kadam mere aur kareeb laa rahi hai, riddhima.”

he’s being very cute in this scene. he genuinely does want her to have a good birthday, it seems.

unffffffffff. aise na mujhe tum dekho................

lmao she’s like you are the singlemost biggest fucking reason of all my stress, birthday or otherwise. wtf vansh give you 5 crore for????/ he’s like patience lil birdy, the answers are your birthday present. it’ll come in good time.

she’s yelling at him for being so chill when kabir is about to expose them and he’s just putting it all on her saying you’re the one going down for it anyway. and maybe if you’d told me about that mysterious letter earlier, i coulda helped you. SO BLOOOOODY ANNOYING HE IS.

anyway he’s like don’t worry i’ll handle it. but you have to give me apni zindagi ki ek khoobsoorat shaam. which............... gross. didn’t have to frame it like THAT.

she went to slap him but ofc he intercepted. ugh he’s so massive how the fuck is someone to even subdue him????? god i hate men.

anyway she told him he’s disgustaaaaaang and won’t take his help and he’s like yeah but it’s not just about you, there are manyyyyyy lives at stake here.

HE’S SUCH AN ASSHOLE FOR PLAYING WITH HER THIS WAY. THERE’S NO WAY SHE WINS HERE IN HIS EYES. IF SHE DOESN’T TAKE HIS HELP, THAT MEANS SHE HOLDS HER EGO AND SELF RESPECT OVER THE FAMILY’S SAFETY. IF SHE DOES GIVE UP HER SELF RESPECT TO SAVE THE FAMILY, HE’S JUST GONNA USE IT TO THROW ACCUSATIONS AT HER CHARACTER. FUCK IT’S JUST SUCH A HORRIBLE, BAD FAITH EXPERIMENT. I HATE HIM. AND SINCE WE KNOW ALREADY THAT SHE’S GONNA AGREE FOR THE DATE OR WHATEVER, I SWEAR TO GOD IF HE SHAMES HER FOR THAT LATER, IMMA CLIMB INTO THE SCREEN AND CASTRATE HIM WITH A RUSTY BUTTER KNIFE.

the signal for the yes to the offer is a........ “flying dance” during the party. which sounds as fucking ridiculous as.......... everything else in this fucking show, i suppose.

LMAO SHE IMITATED THE LIL SMUG EXPRESSION HE MADE IN SUCH A CUTE/FUNNY WAY. WHY THIS SHOW DOESN’T LET HELLY ALSO BE MORE EXPRESSIVE WITH HER FACE IN A CUTE WAY???? SHE LITERALLY HAS A DISNEY PRINCESS FACE AND ALL THESE FUCKERS MAKE HER DO IS CRY AND SCREAM AND BE WORRIED.

what a fucking simp for his wife. i love it.

askdjlksjdlkasjdlksajldkjlkdjlkj there’s a watermark on the mumbai stock footage. this show gives nooooooo fucks about quality at all.

party time. and the lights have gone out.

someone messing with the electronic equipment in the worsttttttttttt fucking way, by putting kerosene on the floor and setting a fuse alight??????? like????? just cut all the wires instead of causing a fullll fucking house fire like this?????????

lmao ishani is like lights ko gaye itna time ho gaya, yeh zaroor riddhima ki kismat ka koi ishaara hai. sis you need to chill with the savage. ek din toh chhod do usko.

ok they’re really hot today. really fucking hot.

lmao she’s smiling but chabaa chabaa ke saying ki i’ll never say yes to your shady idea.

kabir walks up to her, gives her flowers, AND ACTUALLY THREATENED HER RIGHT IN FRONT OF V’S FACE. THE WAY V’S FACE CHANGED IN SECONDS YOU GUYS................

coldly impassive.....

...... to YOU’RE REALLY TRYING TO RUIN MY WIFE’S BIRTHDAY WHEN I EXPLICITLY WARNED YOU NOT TO?????????

..... to OH HE GON’ DIE TONIGHT.

.......... to silently giving reassuring look ki he’ll handle this.

that fuse is stillllllllllllll burning. at the fucking speed of paint drying on a rainy day.

speech timeeeeeeeee by kabir. and he has a video too. lorddddd.

V still cheekily offering his services, and she’s like bitch i did my own intezaam already. ohhhhhhhhhhhhh. kerosene aur fuse waala stupidass plan iska hi tha. should have guessed from the level of sheeeeeer dumbness that it was her and no one else.

lmao he’s like ok but this was too good an opportunity for me, so i counter-attacked YOUR counter-attack. that wasn’t kerosene. i switched it out for blue paani. OH GOD RIDDHIMA DUMBASS DID YOU NOT EVEN SMELL THE FLUID TO CHECK WHAT IT WAS??????????????

“kahaani kuch bhi ho, important yeh hai ki uska climax kya hota hai. aur iss kahaani ka climax tumhare saamne hai, riddhima.”

bitch yehi toh dikkat hai, ki abhi tak koiiiiiiiiii climaxes nahi milen hain issko. na vansh se, na vihaan se. what’s the use of all this thopda and ambidexterous haath if there’s no climaxes resulting from them? waste fellow. get working on delivering those climaxes PRONTO, sir.

[artificialqueens]

Stupid For You, Chapter 5 (Crygi, Jankie, Jaida x Nicky) - Metaluna

Summary: In which everyone makes mistakes, and have to face consequences. 

A/N: Hey everyone! This does have a tw of domestic abuse.

The rest of the month went by smoothly for Jaida. She got to be team lead for most of her shifts, much to the jealousy of her coworkers. She didn’t care. She knew she was damn good at her job, and paid her dues for the past few years. It was what she deserved. Part of her was sad knowing it was her last summer at the park, but the idea of law school was much more exciting than telling guests that they had to put shoes on all summer.

She and Nicky continued their fling. It was some of the best sex Jaida had ever had. Jaida could feel herself developing feelings for Nicky, but rather than address them, she just ignored them. They’d go away on their own right?

She woke up at noon. Because there weren’t many leads in Sales, she worked six days a week, and it was her first day off in twelve days. She deserved to sleep in. Her phone buzzed. It was Nicky texting the groupchat.

Heyy ladies, I’m off today. Does anyone want to play in the park today?

This was her shot. Even though she and Nicky spent a lot of time together, they didn’t ever get the chance to just talk. Even after they hooked up, Nicky usually left pretty soon after, always having a reason to not hang out after.

First day off in 12. I’m down.

Nicky texted back quickly. See you at 2.

Jaida peered into her closet, and suddenly, she hated every single article of clothing that she owned. After rifling through shirts, and trying on different outfit combinations, she eventually settled on a cropped black tank top and army green shorts. 

Out of all of her coworkers, Jaida lived the furthest away. The half hour drive gave Jaida time to think. She knew that she felt differently about Nicky than she did with any of the previous flings. Even though she had her flings, none of them ended in a relationship. When she thought about Nicky, images flashed in her head of dinner dates, picking pumpkins, and curling up on the couch watching a movie. She had to do it. She had to bring Nicky to the Ferris wheel. If they went up together, they could talk it out. 

When Jaida arrived, it was only 1:40. The Landing, where the stores were, was in the front of the park, just off the entrance. She decided that she could harass her coworkers. Before entering Isle Mercantile, she saw Gigi walking with a cart full of beach towels.

“Gigi!” she called.

“Jaida! Hi! I saw you’re hanging with Nicky.” Gigi raised an eyebrow. “What exactly is going on with you?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. I really don’t.”

Gigi pushed her cart into a shady corner under the roof. “Here. Come over here. Step into my office.”

Jaida rolled her eyes and sighed. “It’s just so hard. I like her, and obviously she likes me enough to fuck me, but I don’t know that she likes me enough to date me.”

Her phone buzzed. Jackie.

Girl. I saw you were coming into the park with Nicky. Are you going to talk it out?

She decided she could reply later and continued. “It’s so embarrassing but I’ve never had a girlfriend. I don’t know how to have this conversation. I doubt she likes me.”

“If you guys have manage to hook up as many times as you have, I feel like you’ve got something there.”

“Thanks, Gigi. Hey, what’s been up with you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You just seem a lot less happy. Are you okay?”

Gigi nodded a little too quickly. “I’m fine! Anyway, Jaida if I don’t stock these towels, Brita’s gonna be pissed!”

Her phone buzzed again. It was Nicky.

I’m here. Meet at the food trucks!

After walking to the trucks, Jaida spotted Nicky at a table. The sunlight was hitting the blonde in just the right spots, making the her look even more beautiful than normal.

Jaida decided to sneak up behind Nicky. “Boo, bitch.”

She jumped, nearly falling out of her chair. “You bitch!”

“Let’s go ride the Jinn. I haven’t done it yet this year.”

While in line, she decided to text Jackie back.

I really want to, but I don’t know what to say, or how to bring it up. All I know that this feels different. This isn’t the same as all the others for the past three years. I can’t describe it. I really, really like Nicky. I want to take the next step, but I don’t know if she does.

As she hit “send” she returned her phone to her pocket, right as Nicky picked hers up.

Jaida knew what she did. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. How could she be so stupid?

“So, that didn’t go to Jackie. Jaida…” Nicky began. “Is this true?”

Jaida was hoping to bring Nicky up in the Ferris wheel. Even though things never fell in her favor, it was a comforting place. The line they were in was a 30 minute wait. They had nothing but time to talk it out. Even though it wasn’t ideal, Jaida nodded. “It is.”

Nicky sighed. “Jaida, I like you, I really do.”

This is exactly how every other girl began when they wanted to cut things off.

“And it’s not you it’s me?” Jaida predicted.

“It’s a cliché, I know. But I have so much going on right now, that I really can’t date anyone, not just you. Jaida, I really do like you. A lot. In other circumstances, we would already be dating, but right now I can’t give you what you want. I understand if you don’t want to keep doing… what we’re doing. I will respect your decision either way.”

“No worries!” Jaida said happily, even though she felt like she was going to cry. “I’m totally fine with what we have.”

“Are you sure?”

“I promise.”

For the fourth year in a row, Jaida felt her heart break. She was left wondering if things were better had she taken Nicky for a ride in the Ferris wheel.

—–

After her shift, Gigi sat at her desk sketching a dress. She felt her phone buzz. 

can you come over

Yea. Everything all good?

no

I’ll be there in ten

Gigi made the ten minute drive in five. Crystal answered the door. Her eyes were red, it was easy to tell that she’d been crying the past few hours. Her hair was disheveled, and she was wearing an oversized sweat shirt. “Come in.”

Wordlessly, Crystal led Gigi into her bedroom. All of her walls were hand painted beautifully, each wall with a different color scheme. Her room was slightly messy, but still somehow organized. A picture of Harry Styles hung above the bed. An easel was in the corner with an abstract painting. The closet door was propped open, exposing Crystal’s brightly colored clothing.

 “Talk to me,” Gigi said said as she and Crystal sat on her bed. 

Crystal started crying as she sat down. “It’s Ryan.”

“What happened?“

“We started talking about me going off to college in a couple months. Usually when we talk about it, he won’t talk about it. Well, I needed answers… and I got them. He told me that if I didn’t stay home, he would break up with me.”

“Oh, Crystal.”

Gigi was pissed. She knew how hard Crystal worked to get into the graphic design program. The school they were to attend in the fall wasn’t easy to get into. It had a 50 percent acceptance rate. Crystal was too talented to let that go to waste. The audacity of that boy to ask her to throw that all away. She wanted to tell Crystal everything she was thinking, but instead, she held Crystal and stroked her hair.

“We’ve been together since we were fifteen. I don’t know how to live without him, you know?”

“Mmm.”

“I just love him so much, I don’t think I can leave him. I think I’m going to withdraw my application from Ferris.”

“Crystal, no. You can’t. You worked your ass off to get into that school. You know you did.”

“I know. But I love him.” Crystal rubbed her eyes, causing her sleeve to roll down, revealing a deep bruise.

Gigi gasped. “Did he do that to you?”

“He didn’t do it on purpose! He said I was being unreasonable, and he was right. He just needs to calm me down sometimes, you know?”

“No, Crystal. I don’t know. That’s not okay, under any circumstance. I don’t care if you cheated on him. That does not give him the right to ever put his hands on you.”

“I’m so stupid. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have even applied to that school in the first place.”

“Absolutely none of this is your fault. Please don’t ever say that it is.”

Crystal sighed. “I think I need to stay here.”

“I think you’re wrong. But, what I do think is that Ryan’s bad for you.”

“How fucking dare you.” Crystal’s voice was harsher than Gigi had ever heard it. “You don’t know him like I do. He’s known me a hell of a lot longer than you have.”

“Crystal…” Gigi felt tears forming.

“No. Don’t start. You don’t understand what all we’ve been through. How could you? You could never understand because you’ve been alone your entire life. You can’t let people in. Even me. You’ve been weird as shit every single day since the party, and won’t tell me why. All you do is shut people out when they’re trying to help you. Me, Jan, Jaida, Jackie… We’ve all tried to ask you what was wrong, because clearly something’s wrong. You don’t let people in, or you get fucking pissy. Why? It’s not our faults that your dad fucking left. Stop taking it out on us.”

Gigi sat completely stunned.

Crystal realized what she had said. “Gigi… I didn’t mean… I’m so sorry. I–”

“I think it’s time for me to go. Find your own ride to work, or walk your ass there. I don’t care. Don’t text me. Don’t fucking talk to me.”

“Gigi, wait!” Crystal called. But it was too late.

–

On the drive home, Gigi felt her chest tighten and knew a panic attack was starting. Knowing she wouldn’t be able to drive, she pulled into a parking lot. All she could think of were Crystal’s words which cut her like a knife. Gigi knew that Crystal wasn’t a cruel person, and that it was all in the heat of the moment, but it didn’t matter. Gigi didn’t even know where the words came from, why out of nowhere Crystal would bring up Gigi’s behavior in that conversation, and she really didn’t know why she brought her dad into it. 

Her phone lit up.

gigi, i am so fucking sorry. idk where that came from. i don’t mean it. i hope you know that. that was fucked for me to say. so fucked. i understand if you don’t want to reply and need your space, but know that I am so fucking sorry, and ill never forgive myself for what i said. i can tell what i said really hurt you, and i understand if you dont want to talk, but just know if you ever do, i’m always here to listen

Gigi started typing.

Yeah, that WAS fucked. That fucking hurt me more than I could say. When I said my dad wasn’t a good person, I meant it. When I had my first girlfriend, I came out to my parents. My dad wanted to throw my ass out, and my mom wouldn’t let him, and said that it if I wasn’t out of the house, he was going to leave. My mom would never throw me out, so now he’s gone. It fucked with me. You wonder why I can’t people let me in? That’s why. I’m fucked up, and you’re right. I do need my space. Leave me alone.

She reread her response, and decided she didn’t owe Crystal an explanation, and deleted every word of the text.

—

Crystal was laying on her bed looking up at the ceiling, which was painted like a galaxy. How could she be that cruel? Her words were volatile. Crystal didn’t know the whole story. Even if she did, it wasn’t right to bring it up, especially not like that.

She had to make it right. She sat on her phone, trying to formulate the perfect apology text. A text felt so impersonal, but Gigi hated talking on the phone, and hated Facetiming. Crystal knew that a text would be the best thing she could do. After rereading her text a few times, she hit Send.

Gigi was typing something. Something long. Crystal anxiously waited for her reply, but the three dots disappeared. Instead, she was left with Read.

The pain Crystal felt was stronger than anything before. It was worse than anytime Ryan laid his hands on her. It was worse than the time he cheated on her. It was worse than anything, and she had no idea how she was going to make it right.

[isisparker]

So Episode 8 [of OCN's Search] happened...

First thing’s first: Soo Young was found and here’s hoping the child learns her lesson [probably not]. Also little disappointed Da Jung didn’t get to do much besides look awesome in that uniform. Maybe something will happen in the final two episodes? *fingers crossed* Oh and I do wonder, like I bet the less than ten or so of us in the tags watching this show, if Soo Young will be the next person exposed to the substance.

Speaking of: Okay so I’m glad to be wrong. It’s FOUR that got infected, not three. The Host [aka Ye Rim’s dad, Sang Min] inevitably saved Captain Jo*, who was presumed dead. Sang Min took him to question on his family’s whereabouts, didn’t like the answer he was given, and in an anguished rage unfortunately ended up impaling himself and infecting Captain Jo with his radiated blood. So I was wrong to theorize that Sang Min lived long enough thus why he was more powerful than the other two... However, since Captain Jo became infected with the blood while on the verge of death in addition to decades exposure to that same substance, he possibly has more control over his abilities and maybe a concious?

And since we’re on the subject of Captain Jo, aka CONFIRMED Dong Jin’s dad: From the moment the show started sprinkling hints of Dong Jin questioning who his dad was, I freaking knew that somehow his dad was connected to the '97 DMZ Incident! And wouldn't you know it he was the Captain Jo that cowardly asshole Lee Hyuk literally shot from behind. The fact that the sons of both men have that angst and drama between them when they initially started out on trusting and respectful terms breaks my heart (but OMG am I LIVING for the angst)!

Lee Hyuk needs to die by the end of this series. This episode just highlighted all the shit he has done and will continue doing just to enhance his political and personal goal. As if we needed yet another reminder that politicians like him [Presidential Candidates like him. THANKS FOR BEING TOO ON THE NOSE DRAMA] don’t give a shit about the truth and are looking out for their interest. Also I'm not sorry at all for how he really lost his leg. It's just disappointing the explosion wasn't strong enough to obliterate him there and then.

Can we have Min Kyu somehow manipulate Lee Hyuk and the system to come out on top without it resorting to him being Lee Hyuk's puppet til the bitter end? Like I'm thoroughly enjoying the fact that this dude KNOWS he has to do shady shit and back door dealings to get ahead, but there's a fine line between manipulating the system and being someone's lackey. I have faith that Min Kyu is smarter than that. Or, y'know, he dies because he Icarused himself.

I love Ye Rim pushing back on Min Kyu’s obvious attempt to do Lee Hyuk’s dirty work. She’s not only smart but hella brave to go against a commanding officer of a unit she’s technically an asset for and not a part of. Her reminding him that any jurisdiction he thinks he has towards the substance is actually the KCST’s jurisdistion was certainly music to my ears.

Joon Sung exposing his father's lies probably did at least a couple things: 1. Redeemed him for his temporary betrayal, 2. Put his name high on the list of Most Likely to Die in the last two eps, and 3. Shed light on who Dong Jin's dad was. I didn’t like having to watch Joon Sung betray Dong Jin like he did, but it’s good to know that for such a good guy he definitely is flawed. Definitely gives him character.

Plus, as I mentioned, I am living for the tension and angst between him and Dong Jin. Y’know I started this drama not prepared to be invested in any relationships, just in the characters. IF ANY. Because in this type of genre you should honestly NEVER GET ATTACHED. Anyway, I already knew there’d be at least one designated romance ship as there was one male lead and one female lead and OH LOOK THEY’RE EXES NOW HAVING TO WORK TOGETHER *cue Unresolved Sexual Tension music* I was totally prepared for that to the point of expecting them to reconcile. Heck I was also prepared to watch tension in the form of the scrappy young soldier vs the asshole commanding officer [in this case: Dong Jin vs Min Kyu].... NO ONE PREPARED ME FOR DONG JIN AND JOON SUNG’S RELATIONSHIP. From Joon Sung looking out for Dong Jin, to Dong Jin feeling like he could trust Joon Sung to watch his back, to THAT KNIFE SPARRING [what even, c’mon FANSERVICE THANK YOU], and then the betrayal of the video tape which opened the door to the biggest heartbreak of all: Joon Sung’s father “killing” Dong Jin’s dad and disgracing Dong Jin’s dad’s name! Oh how will these two ever amend from all this? [*cue Noble Sacrifice*]

Oh so yeah, I was right to expect another death. Wasn’t expecting the two shown in this episode but seems on brand for the genre to shed more blood. I’m still anticipating at least one or two more on the body count but hey at least we can cross off Moon Cheul from that list. Poor lucky bastard got taken out of the final inning with that spinal injury.

Aw man next week is the finale week! Good thing too because I don’t know if I could have stand to watch this drama if it was a usual full 16+ episodes like most kdramas are [even though I’m slowly slipping into shipping mode, sorry not sorry?]! It really does make a difference in storytelling if the writers are given a shorter episode order vs longer order. Even though there have been pacing issues and moments of filler that I really could have done without [like, honeslty 65% of the village happenings, even though I GET IT, I get why they humanized the small town folks in order to humanize and amp Da Jung’s character], the writer of this drama kept tight certain elements in order for this train not to derail. Small twists here and there are fine, but only because they make some sense to the story.

Is the plot laughably formularic to most military/thriller/creature feature stories? YES. But that’s part of the enjoyment! Correctly guessing which trope/cliche is part of the fun! And the fact that it doesn’t fight against the tropes usually found in that type of genre is probably why I’ve been a fan since the start. 

*edited because I started rewatching and I realized I got the names of current Leader Song mixed with ‘97 Capt Jo wrong. Gonna go back and edit all my posts with the change. My apologises.

[smol-and-grumpy]

EUPHORIA - Chapter 9

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: He’s Dean Winchester, owner of a shady night club. She’s a journalist who has been asked to write an article to expose the indecency and debauchery that’s going on behind closed doors. But he’s also Dean Winchester, the boy who sat next to her in class. The boy who was too cocky for his own good.

Chapter Warning: NSFW, feelings, angst.

WC: 2639

A/N: Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.

Beta’d by @deanwanddamons​​​​​​​ <3

This series is two weeks ahead on patreon!

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Become a Patron ~ Buy me a coffee

Dean spends some time afterwards just holding her in his arms. 

To him, it feels right. It feels like the space beside him is made just for her. It feels like the little space at the crook of his neck is carved out of her face so only she would fit in. 

Maybe it is. Maybe it has been, since he laid eyes on her. He was just too stupid to see. Too cocky to admit.

He’s been waiting so long to be able to do all these things. To be able to kiss her, hold her, make love to her, to be able to call her his. And he knows that he’s still cocky, still a fucking pain in the ass. Especially when she asks why they didn’t do it right there in the VIP room and he answers that he doesn’t share what’s his. But it’s true. He really doesn’t. He might have done it if it was someone else, but not with her. He hasn’t waited this long to just throw her at a herd of hungry hyenas.

She’s his.

At least Dean considers she’s his. More so now than ever, after what happened. 

He doubts that anyone else will be able to satisfy the need and want in him like she can. It was easier when he didn’t know how great her kisses were. Easier when he didn’t know how she tastes, how tight she is around him. When he didn’t know the sound she makes when she comes on his cock. Now that he knows all of these things, he doesn’t think he wants anything else.

He absolutely loves how she tastes. She’s sweeter than he’d ever imagined her to be. He wasn’t lying when he said that he could eat her out for days. He loves how she responded to him rimming her, to his tongue tickling her asshole and he wonders if she’d let him in there too. If she’d let him finger her opening back there while he fills up her cunt with his cock. 

His thoughts are drifting off while she paints figure eights on his chest. Her fingers brush against his nipple and it makes him jolt back to reality. She just laughs and he kisses that damn laugh right off her face. 

“Are you staying till morning?” He asks her and kind of hoped that she'd say yes. If he had a say in this, he doesn’t think that he’ll let her go at all. 

“It depends,” She says, and he raises an eyebrow, “If you want to go back down, I’ll leave and let you work.”

“I’m not working if you stay.” He says simply, and he thinks it’s stupid that he can’t even make it clear that he wants her to stay.

Later, they did get up to drink and snack around. He tosses her his worn dress shirt to slip over herself. It’s another way for him to stake his claim because she has a dress that she could have slipped over her head easily as well. Dean just likes her wearing his shirt more. He only puts on his underwear, and walks around with his half hard cock on display. He can’t help it. Seeing her in his shirt does things to him.

Dean turns on the TV and they watch some mindless series while digging into a bag of chips. Her head rests on his chest when she starts to wince and squirm all of a sudden.

“What?” Dean looks down, sees her grimacing. 

“Just— your cum is running out,” She says and gets up, probably wants to avoid a stain on the couch but Dean grabs at her wrist, pulls her back into his lap.

At the mention of her leaking his cum, his cock starts to twitch in his underwear and Dean really can’t hide the fact that he’s fully hard, even if he tried. He’s sure she feels his bulge when she sits on it. 

“Doesn’t matter,” He whispers hoarsely, and places her on his lap. Her feet are on either side of his thighs, her back against his chest, his chin rests on her shoulder, his mouth close to her ear, “I love the idea of you leaking me, if you can tell,” He jerks his hips up to emphasize his words.

His hands find her boobs underneath the shirt and he squeezes at them, twirling her nipples in between his fingers. She obviously likes that, grinds down on him harder, wetting his underwear with his cum and her juice. 

Dean sucks in a patch of skin on her shoulder where the collar of his shirt rides down, nibbles lightly at it before he whispers, “I wanna fuck you again, can I?”

“Uh-huh,” 

“Baby, what did I tell you?”

She squirms on his lap, “Yes,”

“Good girl,” Dean chuckles and sucks at her earlobe while he frees his cock from his underwear. He lifts her off him in order to do so, and she helps him by placing the tip of his cock right at her entrance. 

Slowly, she sits down and he slides in easily. She’s wet and slick enough for him to bottom out in one fluid motion. She moans and he has to bite down softly onto her shoulder to stifle his own sounds. 

Y/N begins to rock on top of him, back and forth, up and down. He lets her set the pace, relishing the feeling of being inside of her. That’s really enough for him and he has to control himself not to blow too soon.

He kisses down her neck, “Can’t fucking get enough of you, you know that?” 

She doesn’t answer because he’s rubbing at her clit and her walls are getting tighter around him. She’s close again. He loves how responsive she is. Such a good fucking girl indeed.

It’s not long before she reaches her climax, trembling above him and squeezing his cock tight, milking him for what he’s worth and Dean can’t hold back either. Not that he even tried. 

They stay connected for a while longer, until he feels like she’s going to fall asleep. So he picks her up, thinking about taking a shower with her but that would be too much to ask for, even for him, because the shower would wake them up when all he wants is to sleep next to her. 

Dean walks her to his bed, slips in after her, spoons her from behind and breathes into her neck. He smells her, smells the faint trace of her perfume. But above all, he smells him on her, smells the cologne of his shirt on her skin. He pulls her tighter, letting her scent lull him to sleep.

  It takes Y/N a couple of seconds to realize where she is. The surroundings are familiar but she has a hard time putting two and two together. It’s when she feels someone nosing at the back of her neck that she remembers where she really is. 

Dean’s already awake and starts to place kisses on the base of her neck when he feels her stir, “Morning,” 

“Hey,” She says and turns in his grip. 

Dean kisses her forehead, “You have to be anywhere today?”

“I have to go into work at 4pm,” She says and buries her face into the pillow that he laid his head on. She breathes in, smells traces of him. It has become a familiar smell these days. It gives her a weird sense of comfort.

“Uuuhhh,” 

“Oh my god, don’t tell me I missed work,” She groans and lifts her head to look out of the window. The sun’s already exceptionally high in the sky and she wonders how long she’s been out. Dean did this to her, right? He fucked her so good that she passed out, didn’t he?

“No, you still got an hour,” He chuckles but she jumps right out of bed.

“Shit,” She mutters starts to gather her things from the floor, “I have to shower and I have to go home and change, oh god, my lapto—”

“—Hey,” Dean’s standing right in front of her. How did he get out so fast? He cradles her face, “I’ll drive you, okay? You’ll get there on time, I promise.” 

“Okay,” Y/N pouts and he kisses at it, still fucking chuckling while she is stressed.

“Come on, let’s take a shower,” He says, and pulls her along towards his bathroom.

He takes a toothbrush from the holder, and she notices that it’s the one she used while he took her home to take care of her. He still kept it. What does that say about him? And what does it say about her that she blushes like a tomato knowing that he did keep it? 

After they brush their teeth, he strips her off his shirt and gently pushes her into the shower. 

“Dean, no funny business,” She has to say it to make it clear.

Dean gasps so loud and so fake it makes her roll her eyes back into her head, “I would never,” He says and moves in closer, crowds her against the wall, “Plus, I know that you’re sore,”

She really is, how does he know? She raises one eyebrow in question.

He shrugs, kisses her soft and gentle, tongue only teasing against hers.

 *

 They skipped breakfast and Dean told her that he’s going to get coffees for them while she would change and get her laptop. 

But before she could even use her key to her apartment, the door opens at the slightest touch. Her heart starts to race. Someone was in there. She usually always locks. She knows that, because she’s thorough. 

Y/N immediately calls Dean because she’s kind of afraid to go in there alone. Maybe someone’s still inside?

She didn’t have to wait long for Dean to dash up the stairs. He’s out of breath and has his phone to his ear. 

“Yeah, we’re waiting,” He says before hanging up and pushes the phone back into his pants pocket. “Police are on their way.” 

 *

 The officer takes down what’s missing and it seems like the only thing missing from her teeny tiny apartment is her laptop.

They ask her questions and she answers them as best as she can. Dean’s sitting beside her, at her little kitchen table.

“Do you know who could have an interest in your laptop?”

She frowns, “I really have no idea,”

“Or anyone who could hold a grudge against you?”

Well, that’s a question she can answer.

“My ex boyfriend. Cole Trenton,” She says, her voice shaking a little despite her trying to stay calm. 

“Why’s that?” The police officer asks.

“I have a restraining order against him,”

Dean stands up so abruptly the chair screeches along the floor. And all eyes are on him. He ignores the stares and starts to pace around.

“Okay, we’ll follow up on him,” The officer nods to his partner who has already put down information on his notepad, “Do you have anywhere you could stay to be safe? Your door will need to be repaired.”

“She can stay with me,” Dean cuts in, his voice a little rougher than usual. She can see that he’s upset but she doesn’t really know why. 

The officers look from Dean to her, “Is that okay. Are you happy staying with Mr. Winchester?”

Well, she doesn’t exactly have any other options because her landlord needs to exchange her door and she doubts that it’ll happen soon. He’s never been fast in replacing and fixing things. Seems like Dean is her only option if she doesn’t want to spend money on a dirty motel room or sleep on Rufus' couch with his five dogs and his teenage kids who would try to sneak out past her. 

So, thinking about it, staying with Dean seems to be too soon because they aren’t anything but it seems like it’s really the most reasonable option.

“Yes, that’s okay,” She nods in confirmation.

 *

 “You still want to go into work?” Dean asks as they exit the coffee shop around the corner of her office building and as they walk towards it, his eyebrows are raised in question. 

“I have to. It’s best if I carry on as if nothing happened. It’s how I keep going forward,” She smiles a weak smile.

That’s true. After Cole,  she moved, cut all ties to him and she hasn’t heard of him since either, why now? Why should he come back into her life now and right after she had spent a night full of ecstasy with Dean? She doesn’t think he would break in and steal her fucking laptop. It’s so unlike him, but again, what does she know, he was manipulative and selfish. 

“You are way stronger than I thought you were.” He places a hand around her waist, pulls her in and kisses the top of her head, and she welcomes the closeness, leans into the kiss because god knows how much she needs good things in her life for fucking once. “I don’t want to overstep my boundary but I need to know,” He mumbles, and already she knows what he’s going to ask and maybe she should be frank with him. He deserves to know, “Did the asshole ever hurt you?”

He doesn’t need to say a name for her to know who he means.

Y/N sighs before she speaks, “No,” She can hear Dean exhale audibly, “Not physically, no.”

“What do you mean?”

She picks at her skin around her nails. It’s what she does when she’s nervous, “He was manipulative and abused me mentally. He made me do things I didn’t really want, but at that time I really thought that I wanted it.”

Dean’s arm comes around her shoulder and he pulls her to him, kisses her forehead, “You’re safe with me, alright? I want you to know that.”

Nodding, she buries her face into his chest. She does feel safe with him. He has done nothing that suggests otherwise.

“You’re welcome to stay for as long as you need to,” He adds.

“I don’t want to intrude,” She knows that he means it but really, she doesn’t want to be a burden to anyone, “I’ll look for a new apartment today.” That’s a decision she just made. She wants to move, find a new place to settle down. 

“I’d like to help if you’d let me,” As Dean looks at her, there’s something she can see in his eyes. Something she detects as pity. She doesn’t need it, but she doesn’t want to be rude.

“You really don’t have to. It’s already a lot that you let me stay at your place until I can find something.” Y/N leans over, wants to kiss Dean’s cheek but he turns his face in that moment and her lips land on his. 

It grows so quick. His arms are around her waist, pulling her close and hers are around his neck, hands ruffling up his hair. She wanted to avoid that. That’s why she wanted to go in for a kiss on the cheek. She knows how hard it is for her to part once they start. 

Y/N breaks the kiss. Her cheeks feel hot and Dean leaves one last lingering kiss on her forehead before he walks to his car. She had packed two bags of her belongings and Dean’s going to unload the bag in his apartment for the time being.

“Oh,” Dean calls out before he gets into the car, “Tell Rufus you need a night off tomorrow.”

“Why?”

“Euphoria turns five. I wanna take you as my date,” Dean winks and his smile is as bright and white as ever, “Please say yes?”

Chapter 10