#I really appreciate it and sorry if this was too long hope this was good to read!! Thanks again you're a good human!!!!! <3< /div>
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The Fan Meet : ÌÌâ Max Verstappen
summary: it's your one chance to meet and make an impression on max verstappen, but not even you could imagine what happened next
His smile was wide as Max glanced along the line of Red Bull fans who were waiting at the signing. It just so happened as he looked, you were at the front of the queue, lost in your own thoughts as you stepped forwards and were greeted by Yuki.Â
âItâs lovely to meet you,â Yuki smiled, taking the photo that you had in your hands that you had been given for them to sign. âI hope youâve not been queueing for too long.âÂ
âIt was worth it,â you chuckled, struggling to stay composed, especially as you heard Danielâs laughter coming from the seat next to Yuki. âIâm a huge fan of yours by the way, youâre one of the funniest drivers on the grid, especially all your radios to the team.âÂ
âSome of them are pretty embarrassing looking back now.âÂ
Your head shook, âitâs what makes you such a good character to have.âÂ
Yuki smiled appreciatively back across at you, signing over his face on the picture. Once he had the lid back on his pen, he slid the picture to the next driver along. Your heart raced as you stood before Daniel, struggling to believe that it was really him stood before you.Â
Daniel quickly signed the photo before smiling across at you. âI hope youâre enjoying yourself, Iâm sorry that you had to see Yuki before you got to see the real main event.âÂ
âReally? Because Iâve not actually seen Max yet.âÂ
Danielâs eyes widened for a second at your joke before chuckling, impressed that you were able to give back to him as good as he gave out. He nodded as he applauded you, reaching out with his fist, giving you a fist bump in admiration of your joke.Â
âIâll give you that one, although Iâll admit Iâm a little bit hurt Iâm not your favourite.âÂ
âYouâre my second favourite if that counts for anything,â you assured him. âI have to say though, Iâm really hoping that weâll see you in a seat next season.âÂ
âYou and me both,â he agreed, letting go of yet another of his signature chuckles. âThank you for supporting me, hopefully Iâll be able to see you cheering me, and Max, on in a race soon.âÂ
You hummed in agreement as you moved across yet again, glancing to your right where Max was sat, almost forgetting that Sergio was now before you. âYet another signature for you to do.âÂ
âI donât mind it,â Sergio chuckled at your comment, signing your photo for you too.Â
You were unaware that your sarcasm hadnât just reached Sergio, but the man sat beside him too. Maxâs eyes flickered across to see who made the comment, smiling when he realised it was you, the one he had spotted earlier on stood at the front of the queue.Â
Unbeknownst to you, your conversation with Sergio wasnât just between the two of you, with Max listening in too. His smile was wide as you gushed to Sergio about how big of a Red Bull fan you were, impressing them both with your knowledge.Â
âYou guys donât deserve the hate that you get,â you suddenly told Sergio.Â
âWhen youâre as talented as we are, you tend to be able to ignore what everyone else is saying.âÂ
Your eyes lit up at Sergioâs response, it was clear how well the boys had all been trained, knowing the right answer to give to shut down most questions. As you went silent, Sergio signed your photo before signing it across for Max once you were there. Â
âIâm going to put you on the spot now, whoâs your favourite driver?â Sergio asked, looking across at you expectantly, folding his arms across his chest.Â
You looked briefly at Max, noticing how his eyes slightly panicked, moving to look back at the fan in front of him. When you looked back at Sergio, you could only offer a weak smile, a smile that let him know that he most definitely not your favourite driver on the grid.Â
âYouâre a close second,â you very quickly defended, âbut Iâve got to say that the man next to you might just take the number one spot, only because heâs been at Red Bull for longer though.âÂ
Sergio nodded, understanding where you were coming from. âI guess Iâll let you have that one, Iâve just got to stick around for longer and make sure that I catch him up, right?âÂ
Your steps were nervous as you moved along, struggling to believe as you looked up that Max was the man before you, struggling to bring yourself to meet Maxâs eyes.Â
Luckily for you, Max had a wide smile on his face too that immediately made you feel a lot more relaxed. Max signed over the Red Bull card that you had before leaning over the table, sitting himself closer to you.Â
âThank you for coming to see us today,â Max chimed, making you feel at ease. His voice was softer than you imagined, although heâd probably spoken to hundreds of people already, he still managed to sound so enthusiastic.Â
As you relaxed, you allowed your eyes to meet Maxâs. âThanks for being such an awesome driver,â you responded, unaware of the way your comment made Maxâs heart race.Â
âItâs easy being a good driver when weâve got such great fans,â Max responded, unable to turn his eyes away from you. âWeâve got some great people around who are always cheering us on.âÂ
As the conversation seemed to quickly came to a close, Max quickly thought of something else that he could ask you, not wanting to let you go just yet. You went to go and pick up the photo so that you could head off, but Max held onto it first, his grip firm so that you couldnât slide it out from underneath his hand.Â
Your eyes narrowed on Max, looking in confusion as to why he wasnât letting you go. âThereâs a queue behind me,â you reminded Max, only for his shoulders to shrug. He wasnât fussed about holding everyone else up, not when he wanted to carry on talking to you.Â
âThey can wait,â Max replied, taking you by surprise with how much he didnât care. âItâs important that we give you an experience to remember, not just say hi and goodbye again.âÂ
âWell, I appreciate that,â you replied, your voice still full of nerves. âIâve been to these things before and the driver never really gave me the time of day, I wondered why I bothered.âÂ
He didnât pay the same attention to every fan, but there was something about you that had him. Under the table, his leg was bouncing as he tried to stay calm, relieved that you couldnât see how nervy Max was.Â
As Max continued to talk, you were disturbed by the feeling of staff standing closer towards you. You knew that you had exceeded your time, but Max still kept talking, not paying any attention to the warnings that the staff were sending him that he needed to cut things off.Â
Finally, as one of the senior staff members whispered into his ear, Max nodded. He turned the photo around and wrote on the back of it, handing it back to you once he was done. âDonât look at this until youâre somewhere safe,â he carefully instructed.Â
âI can do that,â you smiled, placing the photo into the pocket. âShould I be worried about what it is that youâve just done?âÂ
âNot at all, I hope youâll love it in fact,â Max chimed, waving goodbye to you as you walked away from the table.Â
You darted through the crowd of fans as you headed back outside, finding a spot where you could sit alone. You pulled the photo out of your pocket, turning it around to see what Max had written, unable to hide the smile on your face as you did so.Â
It was lovely to meet you, my fans are special, but you just had such a spark. Iâve attached my number, if you want to meet again, just the two of us, just give me a call. Max xÂ
ËËË đđđđđđđđđđ ! ÂŽËË
#f1#f1 imagine#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen#formula 1#formula 1 x reader#f1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 x you#f1 fanfic#f1 reaction#formula one#max verstappen drabble#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x reader#formula one x you#formula x reader#formula 1 drabble#formula one x reader#formula one imagine#formula 1 fic#formula 1 fanfic#f1 drabble#f1 fluff#f1 x you
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something like love
pairing - paige bueckers x azzi fudd
word count - 4.1k
c/a - language
a/n - hi!! i am so so excited to be posting my first ever pazzi fic (and also my first post on tumblr!) sheâs a cute little fake-dating rom-com for yall, and i hope you enjoy reading it as much i enjoyed writing it! updates will probably be inconsistent but im gonna do my best lol. lmk what yall think!! (edit: side note, this is obviously all fiction! iâm sure paigeâs mom and step-dad are perfectly good people irl, lol)
âWill you go out with me?â
When Paige asks this question during their weekly lunch date, Azzi is so taken aback that she almost chokes on her Chipotle.
âShit, you good?â Paige asks, concerned, handing Azzi a napkin to cough into.
Azzi waves her off, swallows, and croaks, âWhat?â
âHm?â Paige is staring at her nonchalantly, like she didnât just ask what Azzi heard her ask. âOh, that. Yeah, will you?â
âI donâtââ Azzi shakes her head. Is she being messed with? It feels a lot like sheâs being messed with. âPaige, youâre my best friend.â
âExactly.â
âI didnât know youâŠhad, like, feelings for me.â
âHuh? No!â Wide-eyed, Paige shakes her head violently. âNo, âcourse I donât.â
Azziâs stomach clenchesânot in the good way it sometimes does around Paigeâand she thinks Paige couldâve bothered to sound less disgusted by the notion of her having feelings for Azzi. âFunny, P.â
âIâm for real.â
Azzi frowns. âActually?â Paige nods and Azzi wrinkles her brow, confused. âSo you wanna go out with me but you donât feelâŠlike that about me.â
âWere you even listening earlier?â Paige playfully rolls her eyes, sitting all casually in her seat with her legs spread like she has the biggest dick on campus. Azzi usually loves it when she sits like that, but now sheâs too annoyed and confused to appreciate it. âI was talking about my mom.â
âOh.â To be fair, Azzi stopped listening a while ago, when Paige was still talking about the hot electrician that fixed her leaky sink the other day. She wasnât aware the conversation had taken a more serious tone. âSorry, I spaced. What were you saying?â
âI was saying she and her fuckass husband invited me home for a few weeks this summerâŠâ Paige waits, but it doesnât ring any bells, so she sighs and continues. âThey told me to bring Josh.â
Azzi scrunches her nose. âEww, why?â
âBecauseâŠI havenât really, like, you knowâŠâ Paige tips her head to the side, âtold them we ended things.â
âPaige,â Azzi sighs.
âI know! I know. Just, I dunno.â Paige sighs, and Azzi knows sheâs trying to act chill about it even though she likely laid awake last night thinking about it. âItâs hard, yâknow? Theyâre not like my dadâs side, theyâre not like your parents. You know what they did after I told themâŠâ Paige glances surreptitiously around the restaurant, even though theyâre far away from campus and not very likely to be recognized, âeverything. And if I told them about Josh and they suspected something, I donât think theyâd let me see Ryan and Lauren again.â Her eyes are wide, now, and sheâs doing that thing she does when she gets mad, pinching her bottom lip between her fingers.
Paige and Josh were never actually a thing, by the way. Paige doesnât swing that way and sheâs known it for a long time. But she came out to her mom over the new year, and that phone call had ended in a seething Paige at Azziâs door, yelling and cursing while Azzi listened, and a broken one in her bed that night, crying herself to sleep while Azzi stroked her hair.
So a couple months later Paige recruited their closeted gay friend, Josh. And they became each otherâs beards, pleasing her mom enough that she could stay in contact with her younger siblings. That is, until Josh found a nice boyfriend and Paige was left hanging.
Azzi tries to come up with something to say, something comforting, but sheâs not sure there is anything to say.
âAnd I hate them for that,â Paige goes on. âBut as long as Ryan and Lauren are still kids, my parents can still keep them from me. And it sucks theyâre holding that over my head but thereâs not a lot I can do about it.â
Azzi offers a sad little smile, letting her silence urge Paige to go on, even though she can tell itâs hard for her.
âSo, anyway,â Paige sighs, sitting back in her seat, âwhen Josh ended it, I didnât wanna tell them, because I knew the calls would stop coming, the support. And so whenever they asked about him, Iâd be all, oh, yeah, heâs doing great, just busy. Just bullshitting my way through it.â
âAnd youâve been doing this for the past two months?â
âUmmâŠâ Paige looks down at her fingers, counting on them, then furrows her eyebrows. âPretty much, yeah.â
âOkayâŠâ Azzi leans forward on her elbows. âSo how does your weird question come into all this?â
âDonât say no right away,â Paige says, giving her this knowing look she hates.
Azzi narrows her eyes at her. âWeâll see.â
Paige reaches over to whack her and misses. âLemme explain, damn. So, when they called me last night and invited me to come home with Josh, I was like, oh, shit. And I thought of ways I could handle it.â
âUh-huhâŠâ Azzi watches with wary eyes as Paige bends to rummage through her book bag. âPaige, tell me youâre notââ
âLet me introduce you toâŠâ Paige keys up her laptop and then turns the screen toward Azzi with a wide smile, âBoom!â
âOh my fucking god.â Azzi buries her head in her hands.
âNo, bro, listen! Itâs lowkey impressive!â Paige taps the screen. âItâs titled Game Plan for my Summer Visit to my Fuckass Parents, featuring Azzi Fudd. By Paige Bueckers.â
âGood Lord,â Azzi says, taking a peek at the PowerPoint in front of her. When has Paige ever gone to such lengths as to create a PowerPoint before? This must really be serious to her.
âSo, listen carefully.â Paige taps the screen again; it changes from the title slide to one labeled âFirst (and worst) Optionâ. âI put the worst part because itâs true, but itâs also a lil rhyming moment.â
âRight, okay. Just keep going, please.â
âSo, this is the first option that came to mind,â Paige starts, glancing down at the screen. âThis is the option where I ghost my parents and refuse to come see them at all.â She taps the screen to a pros and cons slide. âAs you can see, I mostly only came up with cons.â
âYeah, because itâs a terrible idea.â
âI know. So then we have option two.â The next slide is labeled âOption Two (mid)â. âI put the mid part becauseââ
âI get it.â
Paige shoots her a look. Azzi playfully kicks her under the table. âGo on.â
âOkay.â Paige nudges Azziâs foot with her own, but her attention is back to the laptop. âThis is the scenario where I let my parents think that Josh and I are still together by telling them that I can come to Montana, but that Josh canât. Itâd be pretty easy, and as you can see hereâŠâ she clicks the screen, âthereâs an even ratio of pros to cons.â
Azzi nods sagely. Sometimes, her best friend takes a while to get to the point, and Azzi learned a long time ago that waiting it out is the best way to go.
âBut there is this one big con: I canât keep lying to my parents forever. So this option is pretty much a way to procrastinate on telling them the truth. Which takes us to the last option.â
This slide is titled âThird Option (THE BEST)â along with a few muscle emojis tacked to the end. A headache forms at the base of Azziâs skull.
âThis is where my awesome idea comes in.â Paige gives her a very self-satisfied smile. âInstead of Josh, I take you with me to Montana and we pretend youâre my girlfriend for two weeks. Literally a genius idea.â She leans back in her seat, nodding assuredly to herself, and Azzi canât help but smile because she really loves this girl. Despite how bat-shit crazy she is.
âP, I donâtââ
âHear me out.â Paige clicks to the final slide. This pros and cons list is mostly pros, and Azzi spots many love-emojis sprinkled throughout. âWe pretend weâve been dating since beginning of March. They know youâre my best friend; weâll pretend that after Josh broke up with me, you and I bonded and fell in love or some shit. My parents wonât be happy, but Iâll already be there with you so they wonât kick me out or nothing.â Paige frowns. âProbably.â
Ok, so, Azzi absolutely hates to admit it, but this does actually make some sense. Not that sheâll ever say such a thing out loud.
âAnd then theyâll realize weâre totally in love and Iâm happy and even if they hate gay shit they just want me to be happy, because Iâm their kid.â Paige says this last part less like a fact and more like something sheâs trying to convince herself of. Azzi canât help but feel bad for her.
âOkay,â Azzi says slowly, watching Paige tuck away her laptop. âThatâs your plan.â
âYep.â
âIâm seeing a few plot holes.â
Paige waves her off. âItâll work. No plan of mine is gonna fail, trust.â
âAnd why should I help you?â
Paige gives her an easy smile, and Azzi sort of hates how confident she is. âBecause Iâm your best friend in the whole world and you love me.â
Azzi raises an eyebrow.
âCâmon, Az. What is there to lose?â
Azzi sighs and almost says something stupid like Iâm in, but this isnât just one of those things that she can help Paige with without thinking twice. Itâll be two weeks of torture, pretending to date the girl sheâs secretly in love with while being surrounded by her homophobic family, and then having to come home at the end of the two weeks and pretend she never got to experience a glimpse of what itâs like to be with Paige in the way sheâs always wanted.
It sounds like hell.
Azzi sighs again, ready to say no, but when she looks up Paige is staring at her with something more vulnerable than before, open in the way she bites her lip, her arm reaching across the table like sheâs wearing her heart on her sleeve and waiting for Azzi to take it.
Azzi takes her hand, instinctually, and says, âOkay.â
She is so fucking gone for this girl.
ââââââââââââ-
They donât talk about it for two days after that. Itâs not that they donât get the chance, or that they donât see each otherâthey go to the gym together both daysâitâs just that neither of them seems to have the guts to bring it up. And why should they? It wasnât too scary while they were having the original conversationânothing too big or threatening or, god forbid, realâbut as soon as Azzi stepped into her dorm after that lunch, she realized just how much she fucked up by saying yes to Paigeâs crazy idea.
It would be an understatement to say that talking about it is the last thing Azzi wants to do at this point.
Paige, however, seems to have other plans, as she usually does. When she storms into the living roomâwhere almost every single member of the UConn womenâs basketball team is doing homeworkâshe makes a beeline for the seat beside Azzi on the couch and whispers, âHey.â
Nika leans up from the floor to poke Paige with her pencil. âNo chit-chat, weâre working.â
Paige glares. âWhat, I canât talk to my best friend?â
âShh,â hisses Aaliyah, barely pulling her eyes from her laptop.
Paige flips her off even though Aaliyah is too immersed to notice, and then she turns her attention back to Azzi, bumping their knees together. âCan we talk later?â
Azzi pretends to be focused on studying. âMm. About?â
âAboutâŠâ Paige glances around furtively, âyâknow.â
Yes, Azzi does in fact know, but she really wishes she didnât. âWhatâs there to talk about?â
âOh, I dunno,â Paige says sarcastically. âSpecifics? Rules? Details? I prepared a whole new PowerPoint.â
âSo thatâs what youâve been doing the past couple of days.â
âYeah, turns out I love PowerPoint.â
Azzi finally cautions a glance up, and Paige is looking at her, completely serious. The eye contact seriously messes with her ability to make sound decisions.
âOkay,â Azzi relents. âAs long as youâre quiet for the next forty minutes, we can talk.â
Paige, dutifully, doesnât say a word for the rest of Azziâs worktime, letting everyone study in peace. And thatâs how Azzi ends up in Paigeâs bedroom an hour later, perched on the edge of her bed while Paige struggles with her laptop.
âOkay, fuck this,â Paige says after extensive fiddling. âMy stupid fucking PowerPoint isnât loading. What the hell.â
Every bone in Jennieâs body wants to take this as a sign from God, the fact that this PowerPoint isnât working, that theyâre not supposed to do this. She wants to walk out of the roomâand this agreementâfor good. But Paige is her best friend and Azzi had always been too loyal for her own good, so she sighs and says, âHow about we just talk about it? Yâknow, like normal people.â
Paige frowns but closes her laptop regardless. âOkay. So.â
âSoâŠâ
âFirst off,â Paige says when Azzi doesnât continue, âI just felt like I should probably say sorry for dragging you into this.â Paige scratches the back of her neck, always a little awkward when it comes to apologies. âI know itâs a lot to ask for.â
Azzi blinks, startled. âOh.â
âYeah.â
âOh, wellâŠâ should she back out? If she were going to, nowâs her chance.
Azzi looks down at a scab on her knee. âI mean, thatâs okay.â
Paige shifts in her seat, the stool creaking underneath her. âYeah?â
âYeah. Itâs not like this is the first time Iâve had to help with one of your ridiculous plans.â Azzi goes for lighthearted but knows it falls flat under the weight of what sheâs going to have to do.
âOkay.â When Azzi looks up, Paige is staring at her suspiciously. She wonders just how bad of an actress she must be for Paige, the same Paige who hasnât yet detected Azziâs somewhat obvious, six-years-long crush on her, to see right through her. But then she just shrugs and continues, aloof like she always is. âSo then I wanted to ask you about what you think we should do aboutâŠall this.â
ââŠOkay?â
âI was thinking we should get into the, like. The specifics.â
Azzi rolls her eyes. âPaige, just tell me.â
Paige gnaws at her lip until it turns white and Azzi starts to worry it might bleed, but then she says, âWe need a sex timeline.â
If Azzi were drinking water, she would have surely spit it out.
âA what?â she asks, sort of incredulous. Paige has said a lot of crazy things before but nothing quite like that.
âOkay, my bad, weird way to put it.â Paige grins as if all of this is funny to her. âWhat I mean is we need a story to tell my family, our friends. Like, why did we start dating? When was our first kiss? Whatâs our song? Have we, you knowâŠgone to the penthouse and freaked it?â
Azzi throws herself back onto the bed. Paigeâs bed. Which she is just now realizing is probably going to be the bed that many of these fictional events are going to take place in. âPaige.â
Paige is giggling now, which is endearing because Paige doesnât giggle often. If only it werenât at Azziâs expense. âWe need to figure it out, for real! People are going to ask questions.â
âPeople are not going to ask those kinds of questions.â
âUm, excuse me.â Paige stands and walks over until sheâs at the bed, pulling Azziâs legs off the edge playfully. âHave you met our friends? KKâs not shy with that shit.â
Azziâs ankles instinctively go around the back of Paigeâs thighs, but sheâs in a certain mindset due to their current conversation and the casual gesture suddenly seems much less innocent than usual. She unwraps them, pulling her legs from Paigeâs grasp as discreetly as possible. âSo weâre planning on telling them weâre dating, too?â
Paige shrugs. âYeah. You werenât?â
âI donâtâŠâ Azzi straightens up as Paige sits beside her, their hips touching. âWe spend every day with them, P. Donât you think itâll be hard to keep up the act that much?â
âYeah, probably. But thatâs also why I wanna do it.â As usual, Paige sounds completely sure of herself. âWe only have a couple weeks until Montana and I wanna make sure we get enough practice acting like a couple.â
Azzi still feels uneasy about the whole thing, but Paige is rightâthey canât get onto a plane as best friends and get off it a convincing pair of girlfriends.
Azziâs face heats at the term. Girlfriends. But thatâs what theyâll be, isnât it?
âI was thinking weâll tell them next week,â Paige says. âWeâll ask them to hang out and then drop it on them that weâve been dating since March.â Paige must recognize the look on Azziâs face, because she puts a hand on her kneeâwhich does absolutely nothing to help. âIs that cool with you?â
Azzi canât say all of the things sheâs thinking right now, so instead she settles for, âYeah, no.â She pauses, her feet on Paigeâs fuzzy carpet, and decides this will be the last time she lets herself doubt this.
âI think thatâs perfect.â
ââââââââââââ
One week later, three Saturdays from the end the school year, Azzi sits with a bowl of popcorn in her lap feeling like she might hurl.
âWhy are you acting so weird, Fudd?â KK asks, and Azzi startles at her name, looking at the freshman whoâs sitting on the floor in front of her and giving her a weird look.
âLeave her alone, Camera,â Paige says, settling into the couch next to Azzi. âWhat movie we watching?â
They are all crammed into a dorm, as they often are, excited for a chill team movie night in the midst of finals season. Little do the girls know, they will be getting entertainment from more than just the movie tonight.
âNo, KKâs right,â Ice says, scrolling through Netflix on the TV. âAzziâs been acting super weird.â
Azzi, somewhat offended (she thought her acting skills were pretty decent) looks around the room for help. Instead, the girls all just nod their agreement.
Paige nudges her and raises her eyebrows, and Azzi knows exactly what that look means.
âYou donât have to tell us whatâs up if you donât want,â InĂȘs says from her place on the other side of Azzi, dipping her hand into their shared popcorn. It almost makes Azzi want to back out.
Almost.
Putting on her bravest face, Azzi nods and turns to face their friends. âPaige and I have something weâd like to tell you.â
Thereâs something odd about the silence that follows this, the way the girls on the floor look at each other before turning their bodies to face the couch, the stragglers sitting in the loveseat and at the dining table leaning forward almost imperceptibly.
Azzi tenses up as she is suddenly under the scrutiny of eleven other girls. How is she going to lie to them? How is this ever going to work?
Paige, through some form of best-friend-telepathy, senses Azziâs struggle and places a comforting hand on her back. âI can say it.â
This isnât what they practiced, but Azzi is too grateful and too distracted by the hand on her back to worry about going off-script.
âWeâve been wanting to tell yâall for a while,â Paige says. âBut we also wanted to just keep it to ourselves for a little bit.â
It sounds so natural, and effortless, and Azzi can feel herself slipping into this role for the first time. She pretends the hand on her back is more than friendly, the nerves in her stomach are something other than guilt, the things Paige is about to say are true.
If one good thing is going to come out of any of this, itâll be this feeling of contentment that Azzi will get to have, at least for a little while. And maybe sheâs okay with that.
âDo you guys remember that party we went to a couple months ago?â Paige asks. Her nails scratch over Azziâs shirt, making her shiver.
âYeahâŠâ Nika says at the table in the corner. Aubrey rests her chin in her palms, looking suspiciously like sheâs trying not to smile. For some reason, Ice and KK are clutching each otherâs hands.
âWell, when Azzi and I got home we just decided to stay together in her dormâŠâ Paige trails off like sheâs hesitant to continue, and half the girls lean closer to them while the other half look a little too relaxed. Ice is now glaring at KK, whoâsâŠbeaming?
âSomething happened between us that night.ïżœïżœ Paige looks at Azzi now, and even though this is what they were supposed to do the look in her eyes still takes Azziâs breath for just a moment. She has dreamed of Paige looking at her like this for years, and now it is finally happening, and Azzi thinks she would do anything to make this all real.
Paige opens her mouth to continue, but before she can, KK jumps to her feet and squeals, and Ice throws the remote on the ground with an angry, âFuck!â
Azzi and Paige both startle, and Azzi loves the way Paigeâs hand fists up her shirt in surprise, but then the notices that all the other girls donât seem surprised or confused at allârather, they all seem to be having similar reactions to KK. Nika and Aubrey are even singing something, and InĂȘs has jumped up from her spot beside Azzi to join the others in what looks a lot like a celebration. Why are they all chest-bumping each other?
Finally, Azzi finds it in herself to speak. âGuys, whatâŠ?â
KK kneels to wrap her arms around a sulking Ice and looks at them both, eyes glimmering. âWhatchu mean, what?â
âI donâtâŠâ Paige releases Azziâs shirt, her hand falling to the seat behind her. âWe havenât even finished telling you yet.â
âAre yâall actually this dumb?â KK asks, before squealing in Iceâs ear and then throwing herself onto the couple on the couch. âUgh! Iâm so happy for you two lovebirds.â
âLovebirdsâŠ?â Azzi asks, but the room is too raucous for her to be heard and when she looks at Paige, all she gets is an equally confused head shake in return.
âMy babies are growing up,â Aubrey says, wiping an invisible tear, and Aaliyah comfortingly pats her shoulder.
âBaby,â Amari says, smiling at the both of them, âwe have known.â
âUh,â Paige says, thrown off for once in her life. âHow?â
âBecause yâall are the most obvious fucking couple in the country,â Ice chips in. She is still pouting, even with Ayanna patting her on the head and Jana rubbing her shoulders.
During the past week, Paige and Azzi have been dropping a few hints here and there in the hopes that they could almost ease their friends into it before telling them, to make things more believable. But obvious? Obvious enough for all of them to know? Thatâs a stretch.
Apparently thinking the same thing, Paige laughs awkwardly, trying to regain some semblance of control over the situation. âWe thought we were pretty good at hiding it.â
âYeah, right.â Caroline flicks Azziâs forehead good-naturedly. âKK and Ice have had a bet running for, like, six months now.â
At this, Azzi tenses up, and Paige turns to her, gives her a cautious, confused smile. âThat long?â
âI started the bet, of course,â KK pipes in. âYou two are so in love.â She sighs dreamily and then nudges Ice with her foot. âYou owe me my five-hundy, girlypop.â
âYou didnât even actually win, this doesnât count,â Ice grumbles. âWe made the bet six months ago and they only started dating in March. And also, I thought theyâd be way too pussy to tell us yet.â
Paige perks up at this, her unusual awkwardness gone as fast as it came. âHey! I ainât pussy about nothing!â and KK chimes in with her own protests of, âGirl, boo! It does too still count, youâre just a sore-ass loser!â
Azzi canât bring herself to say anything, because their teammates believed Azzi and Paige gave been dating longer ago than this arrangement was even brought up. And that means they must have seen Azziâs feelings for Paige, and whatever the other side of that is, and they donât really act like a couple, do they?
âAnyway,â Ice continues, a little less pouty now, âI totally thought Iâd have to walk in on you two fucking or something before you ever really came clean.â
Azzi squeezes her eyes shut. Paigeâs fingernails dig into her back a little bit.
âI actually canât believe none of us have walked in on them fucking yet,â Nika muses, and the room quiets down a little, everyone mumbling their assent.
âMaybe theyâre celibate,â KK reasons, then fixes them with a look. âAre yâall celibate?â
Paige laughs, and then bends close to Azziâs ear and mutters, âTold you so.â
For the rest of the night, Azziâs neck is hot.
This might be more complicated than she thought.
#paige bueckers#azzi fudd#pazzi#paige buckets#the people's princess#uconn wbb#wbb#wcbb#fake dating#pazzi fics
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Best Brother Ever | h.s
Pairing: Husband!Dad!Harry x Wife!Mom!Reader
summary: a sweet Sunday afternoon with the styles family and Alex being the best big brother.
Word count: 2.6k || MASTERLIST đŒđâđđ«§
I got really inspired by a cute reel I saw on Facebook and since then this sweet fluff has been sitting in my drafts for months and Iâm really happy with how it turned out! I hope you enjoy it as much as I do ⥠let me know your thoughts in comments! Like & reblog are truly appreciated đ„° REQUEST ARE OPEN.
It was a peaceful Sunday morning in the Styles household, and the cozy, familiar sounds of home filled the air. In the kitchen, YN moved around with practiced ease, stirring a pot, chopping vegetables, and tasting spices with a focused concentration. Sheâd been at it for a while now, determined to make Harryâs mom, Anne, feel right at home with her favorite dish. In the background, 18 by One Direction played softly, and YN found herself humming along, her voice a gentle echo to the lyrics.
Though the band had gone on indefinite hiatus years ago, and each of the boys had branched off into their own solo careers, YN hadnât stopped listening. She was a Directioner through and through, and she knew in her heart sheâd never let go of those songsâthey were part of her story, her history with Harry, and her dreams.
Meanwhile, in the living room, their six-year-old son, Alex, was lying on the mat with Berry, their playful family dog, gently scratching behind Berryâs ears. Berryâs tail thumped in delight, and Alex giggled as the dog rolled over, waiting for belly rubs. The two were inseparable, each one the otherâs partner in mischief.
After a few minutes, Alex felt a tickle of thirst, and with his usual burst of energy, Alex stopped scratching and said, âOh Berry didnât you get tired of all the scratching? I know, I know you were enjoying it but itâs time for a break, Iâm thirsty. You donât do anything stupid while Iâm gone! Granny likes it when youâre a good boy.â He then sprang up and ran to the kitchen, tiny footsteps echoing across the hardwood floor.
âAlex, no running in the kitchen, remember?â YN gently reminded him, glancing over her shoulder with a smile.
Alex skidded to a stop, giving her an innocent look. âSorry, Mama.â He then carefully walked to the fridge, his small hand reaching for a water bottle. After unscrewing the cap and taking a long sip, he paused, a thoughtful expression crossing his face.
Looking up at his mom, he noticed how sheâd been working by the stove for a while. The warmth from the flames made the kitchen a bit stuffy, and in that moment, his little mind put two and two together. Carefully holding out the bottle to her, he asked, âMama, do you want some water too?â
YN paused, touched by the thoughtful gesture. The little boy was caring just like his father. Her heart swelled with pride and warmth at her sonâs understanding, and she leaned down to pull his cheeks before pressing a gentle kiss on his forehead. âThank you, sweetheart. Thatâs very thoughtful of you.â
Alex beamed up at her, delighted by her kiss, and handed her the bottle with a shy smile. YN took a small sip, her heart feeling full in the best way possible. Moments like these, simple and unassuming, were what made her life feel so complete.
YN glanced around the kitchen, realizing she hadnât seen Harry in a while. She turned to Alex, who was still grinning from her earlier kiss, and asked, âWhereâs your daddy?â
Alex paused, looking thoughtful. âHeâs giving Amelia a bath!â he replied brightly.
YN chuckled, wiping her hands on a towel. âDonât you think heâs taking a little too long?â
Without another word, Alex took off down the hall, announcing over his shoulder, âIâm gonna check!â
YN shook her head, smiling to herself as she continued stirring the pot. But barely a minute later, she heard Alexâs laughter ring out, loud and delighted, carrying all the way back to the kitchen. Curious, she wiped her hands and followed the sound down the hallway, wondering what on earth could have him so amused.
When she reached the bathroom, she found Alex standing at the doorframe, giggling uncontrollably. YN peeked over his shoulder, and the sight before her was too good not to laugh herself.
Harry stood by the sink, almost drenched, his shirt soaked and clinging to him, while his hair, wet and messy, hung down in front of his eyes. Amelia, their 15-month-old daughter, squirmed in his arms, wrapped in a fluffy towel that he was struggling to keep around her tiny, wiggling frame. Amelia, completely entertained, let out a series of squeals and giggles, delighted by the whole chaotic scene.
Harry looked up, his eyes meeting YNâs as he triedâand failedâto blow a strand of wet hair out of his face. âSheâs, uh⊠a slippery one,â he said with a helpless smile, shifting Amelia as she kicked her tiny feet, clearly thrilled by all the attention.
YN chuckled, stepping into the bathroom to take over. âI think youâve gotten just as much of a bath as she has,â she teased, reaching for Amelia.
âBelieve me, I know,â Harry replied, surrendering his squirming daughter into YNâs arms. As soon as she was safely in her motherâs embrace, Amelia nuzzled into YN, her little face lighting up with another round of happy giggles.
Alex, still laughing, tugged at Harryâs soaked shirt. âDaddy, youâre all wet!â
Harry ruffled Alexâs hair, a lopsided grin on his face. âWell, thatâs what happens when you try to bathe a little mermaid,â he joked, winking at YN.
YN smiled, cradling Amelia close as the baby snuggled into her, finally calm. Glancing up at Harry, she added with a playful grin, âMaybe next time Iâll leave the bath duty to you again. You look like youâre having way too much fun.â
Harry raised his hands in surrender, laughing. âOnly if I get a raincoat next time.â
With everyone still giggling, the air filled with warmth and laughter. For YN, it was yet another reminder of how these simple, unplanned moments held the truest joy.
After drying Ameliaâs soft curls and dressing her in an adorable denim overall dress, YN gave her a little pat, sending her off with Alex, who eagerly took her tiny hand. âCome on, Amelia! Letâs play in the backyard!â he declared, guiding her to the door as she toddled along, wide-eyed and giggling.
Meanwhile, Harry changed out of his soaked clothes and slipped into a comfortable hoodie and shorts. Feeling refreshed, he wandered back to the kitchen to find YN putting the finishing touches on lunch. She was focused, stirring one last pot, her face glowing with that contented look he loved.
âSmells amazing,â he murmured, slipping his arms around her from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder. She relaxed into him, smiling as she gave the pot one final stir.
âThank you,â she replied, turning her head slightly to meet his gaze. âI wanted everything to be perfect for your mom.â
Harry pressed a light kiss to her cheek. âIt already is perfect. Besides, Momâs really coming to see you and the kids. Iâm just⊠here for decoration,â he joked, earning a laugh from YN.
She turned to face him, resting her hands on his chest. âPretty good decoration, Iâd say,â she teased back, her eyes sparkling. âCanât say I mind having you around.â
He grinned, taking her hand in his. âAnd I canât say I mind this whole thing⊠you, me, the kids, Sunday lunches. I think weâre doing alright, donât you?â
YNâs smile softened, her heart warmed by his words. âIâd say weâre doing better than alright.â
When lunch was ready, they carried everything to the living room and settled comfortably on the sofa, filling their plates and savoring each otherâs company in the cozy quiet. Berry, their loyal dog, lay stretched out on the floor nearby, watching them with sleepy eyes, as though content to be part of their little family moment. But the peace didnât last long; as soon as Berry heard the sound of laughter from the backyard, he was on his feet and bounding toward the door, ready to join Alex and Amelia in whatever adventure they were up to.
Harry and YN shared a glance, amused, and Harry sighed with a laugh. âShould we go see what theyâre getting into out there?â
YN nodded, grinning. âDefinitely.â
Hand in hand, they headed toward the backyard porch deck, hearts full and laughter on their lips, ready to join in on the joy of the afternoon.
Harry and YN strolled out into the backyard, enjoying the sight of Alex and Berry playing an enthusiastic game of chase. Alex was giggling as he kicked the ball across the grass, Berry hot on his heels, barking and wagging his tail, clearly in his element.
But their attention quickly turned to little Amelia, who was standing by the swing set, her tiny fingers gripping the seat as she attempted to climb up. Sheâd tugged it down a few times, her determination evident in her scrunched-up face, but every time she tried to lift her legs, they just didnât reach. She let out a tiny, frustrated squeal, her cheeks pink with effort.
Alex spotted her from across the yard and immediately abandoned his ball game, trotting over with Berry following close behind. âIâm coming, Amy! Iâll help you,â he declared, a serious expression crossing his little face. The way he spoke, it was as if he were preparing to climb a mountain, not help his baby sister onto a swing.
He placed a comforting hand on Ameliaâs shoulder, patting her gently. âDonât worry, Amy. Iâll get you up there,â he reassured her. Berry sat down nearby, tilting his head as if watching the scene unfold with keen interest.
Alex held the swing steady, lowering it slightly to make it easier for her to grab. Amelia gave it her best shot, tugging herself forward and then clinging to her brotherâs back, her small legs kicking as she tried to hoist herself up. But she kept slipping back down with a tiny thud, her face scrunched in concentration.
Seeing her struggle, Alex crouched down thoughtfully, tapping his chin with one finger like heâd seen his dad do when he was deep in thought. âOkay, hm⊠maybe try to use my back like a lilâ stool?â he offered, glancing up at her with a hopeful smile. âIâll be like a step!â
Ameliaâs eyes lit up, and she gave him an excited nod, as if this was the most brilliant plan sheâd ever heard. Alex crouched down in front of the swing, bracing himself. âAlright, Amy, climb on!â he called out, his voice full of determination.
With a delighted giggle, Amelia leaned onto her brotherâs back and clutched his T-shirt with her chubby little hands. She climbed as best as she could, trying to pull herself upâbut her grip on his shirt only tightened as she clambered, her arms slipping around his neck. Alex winced, his voice coming out in a slightly strained laugh. âAmy⊠youâre kinda⊠choking me,â he gasped, though he kept steady, determined to help her however he could.
Harry and YN watched from nearby, biting back their laughter as Alex tried to be the perfect big brother, his determination and care making them both melt a little inside. Berry, still sitting close by, tilted his head again, ears perked as he followed every bit of the action.
Eventually, Alex, catching his breath, stood up, looking down at his sister with a thoughtful frown. âAlright, Amy, letâs try it another way,â he said, more determined than ever to help her reach her goal.
He pointed at the swing seat with a very serious expression, bending down to her level. âJust try to sit on it. Right here,â he said, gesturing to the exact spot where she should aim. âWatch, Iâll show you.â
With exaggerated care, he climbed onto the swing himself, wiggling around on the seat to demonstrate how to sit properly. Then he hopped off and held the swing firmly in place again, giving her an encouraging nod. âOkay, now you try.â
Amelia looked at him, wide-eyed with admiration for her big brother, and then turned back to the swing. She grasped it carefully with both hands, her face full of concentration, and this time, after a few wobbly attempts, she managed to pull herself up, finally plopping down on the seat with a triumphant squeal.
Alexâs face broke into a huge grin. âYou did it, Amy!â he cheered, clapping his hands. âYouâre a big girl now!â
Amelia giggled, her cheeks flushed with excitement, and Alex gave the swing a gentle push, sending her gliding back and forth, her delighted squeals filling the backyard. Each time she swung forward, she let out a little giggle, her laughter filling the air.
Harry and YN stood side by side, their arms wrapped around each other as they watched Alex carefully push Amelia on the swing. Her joyful squeals mixed with the gentle creak of the swing, and Alexâs steady encouragement filled the air. Berry trotted nearby, tail wagging, occasionally glancing up as if to make sure everything was under control.
Harry tightened his arm around YNâs shoulders, pulling her close as he shook his head in admiration. âHeâs⊠heâs really the best big brother, isnât he?â he said, his voice soft with awe. âLook at himâso gentle with her, so patient. I canât believe heâs only six.â
YN beamed, her eyes fixed on their son as she watched him push Amelia with such care, his face serious with concentration, as if he were on an important mission. âI know,â she replied, her voice warm with pride. âHeâs amazing with her, isnât he? Always looking out for her, always so sweet. I feel like weâre really⊠doing something right.â
Harry looked down at her, a playful glint in his eyes. âWell, I think youâre doing most of it right,â he teased, bumping her shoulder with his. âIâm just here to make sure they know how to make a mess and have fun.â
YN laughed, nudging him back. âOh, please, Harryâyouâre their hero. Every time you walk in, they light up. Youâre like their personal superhero.â
Harry chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. âI donât know about âsuperhero,â but⊠seeing them like this, watching them take care of each other? Thatâs everything.â He paused, his gaze softening as he looked back at Alex and Amelia. âTheyâre so lucky to have each other. And I think⊠weâre pretty lucky to have them, too.â
YN nodded, her heart swelling as she took in the sceneâtheir two little ones, working together, supporting each other in their own innocent, unfiltered way. âItâs moments like these that make it all worth it, donât they?â she murmured, leaning her head against his shoulder. âAll the late nights, all the messy meals and chaotic mornings⊠all of it. Seeing them happy, and kind, and just⊠them.â
Harry gave her a soft smile, pressing a kiss to her forehead. âWeâve got a good thing going, donât we?â he said, his voice thick with emotion. âI couldnât imagine a better team than this. You and me⊠and these two.â He gestured toward Alex and Amelia, his eyes crinkling with pride. âWeâre doing something right, YNN. I know we are.â
Just then, Alex looked over his shoulder and spotted his parents watching. His face lit up with pride, and he called out, âLook, Mum! Dad! Amyâs swinging! I got her up here all by myself!â
YN and Harry exchanged a warm glance before waving back, beaming with pride. âYouâre the best big brother, Alex!â YN called out, giving him a big thumbs-up. âAmyâs so lucky to have you.â
Alexâs cheeks flushed with pride, and he turned back to Amelia, giving her swing another gentle push. âDid you hear that, Amy? Mum and Dad said Iâm the best big brother ever!â he whispered to her, smiling from ear to ear.
Watching him, Harry gave YNâs hand a gentle squeeze. âWeâre raising some pretty great kids, arenât we?â he murmured, his eyes sparkling with pride. âIf nothing else, Iâd say weâre getting that part just right.â
YN looked up at him, her eyes shining. âCouldnât agree more.â
#harry styles#harry edward styles#one direction#harry styles x reader#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles x y/n#harry styles fluff#harry styles x fem!reader#harry styles story#harry styles writing#hs#harry#harry styles imagine#harry styles oneshot#harry styles one shot#harry styles blurb#harry styles fanfic#styles#harry styles fiction#fluff#harryssyndrome
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Missed or Licked
Pairing: Aaron Pierre x Average Height Thick brown-skinned Women
Warnings : 18+, Mature Content (Cursing , Teasing and smut), Missing good dick.
Summary: Missing dick could be dangerous
A/N: I have decided that I will be releasing my smut fanfictions first, then fluffy, Drama etc. just because it's easier and as always, feedback would be appreciatedđ*Please let me know if you want to be tagged in future writings.
âDo I really have to work? Why canât I just quit and life would work itself out..âŠ....nevermind, I sound dumb as hell, let me shut up and get out of this carâ. She said laughing at herself, Alisha started getting ready to exit her car when she heard a knock on her driver's side window. She looks to see her co-worker Terry Richmond (Who by the way is in a tight fitted shirt, showcasing his big veiny arms and thick chest ). Winding down her window â Terry, hiâ she said confused, wondering why the hell he was at her window.
âSorry to bother, I was just wondering if you're alrightâ He wondered staring into her eyes, âIâm good just.. preparing myself, for the long ass day ahead of meâ she said feeling a little flustered, as he continues to stare into her eyeâs not daring to look away.Â
Alisha and Terry had a bit of a complicated history together. They met in a Walmart parking lot, when she was clearly struggling to fit her tv into her car. Which brought the attention of Terry, Sparking up a conversion between the two which ended with her bringing up that she wanted help moving some items into her home. Terry agreed, asking to swap information. After a few days of talking, Terry was in her living room and helped her move furniture where she wanted it, putting up her tv etc.
Time went on and Terry got tired of the unspoken tension, which ended up with Alishaâs legs on either side of her head, being filled to the brim with dick and hot tears falling down her face. A memory she remembers so vividly.Â
Their situationship came to a stop when he left the state and stopped answering her text, which left her a little broken because you canât find dick like that just anywhere. Time passed, she moved, switched jobs and found out that Terry was one of the warehouse workers while she worked as the receptionist in the building beside it. Â
Throughout the time they worked there, they had stolen glances at each other and greetings but never daring to engage in a conversation.Â
A few minutes went by before Alisha broke eye contact, the need to let him spread her open was too great to start ignoring. âSorry, but I have to get out of the car, so if you could moveâ Alisha said trying to open her door âI just wanted to say I'm sorry for leaving you, there was some family business that I had to take care ofâ Terry said hoping that what he said was taken into consideration.
Alisha pushed her car door open and stood up as Terry walked backwards giving her space to get out of her car. Reaching forward to grab Terry by his arm, she pulled him in closing the space between them believing what he said. If it were her family, she would have done the same no doubt. âI believe you, I was just a little heartbroken that you filled me to the brim, Touching spots that no other man is able to reach, then decided to leave a day after thatâ.Â
She said, whispering in his ear while staring into his eyes, seeing a shocked expression on his face, moving to the right side of his face,she grabbed his body to support herself on her tiptoes. âIâm just a little hurt because I wanted you in my throat but I guessâŠâŠ that fantasy will no longer happenâ. The feeling of her breath tickling his ears as she spoke, Alisha looked down to see him wrapping his big, veiny arms around her body, he bent his face down to level their faces going as close as possible to her face that if you were a person just a few feet from them, you would think they were kissing.
âWho said that canât happen here, hmâ. Terry mumbled, his eyes moved from her eyes to her lips feeling bold, she closed the space between them, pulling his face towards hers. She open mouth kissed him, making Terry press his body even more into hers, pushing his tongue in her mouth, roaming her mouth with his tongue endlessly trying to lick every inch of her mouth. They both stumbled back into the open door of the car Terry pulled back, picking Alisha up with one arm and his hand squeezed her ass, moving to kick the door closed while simultaneously opening the back door, laying Alisha down, kissing down her neck.
 âTerry, waitâ Alisha breathlessly said âSit down, I wanna you in my mouthâ âAre you sureâ âYes, I want to show you how much I missed youâ. Terry kissed her, lifting her on top of his lap her hands roamed his body. She slowly removed her lips from his, bringing her body down between his legs. Staring at him in his eyes, she pulled his belt buckle open while her mouth was practically slobbering, waiting to be filled with his pink tipped dick. She pulls his pants to his knees with the help of him raising his hips and freeing the one thing that she truly missed.
She stared at the sight before her, admiring his pink fat tip dripping with pre - cum, her eyes making its way down his thick hard dick with prominent thick veins littering his dick with fat heavy shaven balls. Alisha took one long lick from the base to the tip, circling her tongue around the tip slowly sucking âohhh fuckk, mmhmâ. Terry moaned looking down from half opened eyes at the complete brown skinned goddess taking his dick in her throat. Alisha continues to suck the tip, slowly inching down his thick dick down her throat.
âStop playing with me, open your throatâ he demands, putting one of his hands under your chin making you look up into his eyes â Open your mouth as wide as possibleâ he said trying to stuff her mouth with his dick.Â
As his dick reaches the back of your throat, you gag, making him inch out. âWhen I go in, take a deep breath, when I retract, you exhale, understoodâ. âYes,â Alisha tried to say with her mouth half full. âYou ready,â Alisha nodded, ready to take whatever he gave her. Terry inches back down her throat, Alisha following his instructions, suppresses her gag reflex. Terry roughly starts to fuck your face, grabbing your $500 raw bundles.
When he gets to the back of your throat, he holds your head there for a few seconds moaning at the feeling âShiiitt, this throat is so good, fuuckâ. He continues to fuck your face, tears start decorating your face, with the help of your silva falling down your chin.Â
His moans motivating you to swallow and moan on his dick causing him to let out a string of moans. He starts fucking your face faster making the car shake, creating a rhythm between the two of you. â oohhh, ssss, i'm gonna nut, you ready for itâ Alisha nods her head ready suck this man dry as soon as his grip gets weak, âShit , Shit, Shit, hmmmhmhmmâ He groans, busting a fat nut. Alisha takes the opportunity to grab his hands, pinning them into the seat of the car.Â
Twisting and sucking his tip with the help of her tongue, she sucks up the mess he made while staring him in his eyes. Terry âs eyes roll back, he bites his lip and moans âmy godâ he overpowers her grabbing her head pushing it back and a deep exhale. He finally feels relieved that she is no longer trying to push him past more than he can take. Terry stares up at the ceiling as Alisha pulls his pants up, tucking his dick back into his pants.
âI left you speechless, didnât I big boyâ Alisha laughed. Terry drops down his head, grabbing Alisha pulling her in for a kiss. âI'm so glad that Iâ and before Terry could finish his sentence, there was a knock on the window making them turn there heads towards the notice, âTHE FUCK, YAâLL DOING IN THEREâ.
Tags -
@nahimjustfeelingit-writes
@blackgurlnhermoods
@easybrezzy
@planetblaque
@urfavblackbimbo
@jenlovey
@avoidthings
@kimuzostar
@skvrpion
@theereina
@megamindsecretlair
@theereina
@melaninpov
@mscarter213
#Spotify#aaron pierre#terry richmond#rebel ridge#black man#object head#missing#jimmybutlrr#melaninpov
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Happy Hoelloween! đâ€ïž Please accept this lil hoe treat just for you:
It looks like heâs had a hard day and needs one of your sweet treats to turn his frown upside down. Hope youâre up for it, because he sure is đđ
A Well-deserved Treat
Pairing: Curtis Everett x Reader (modern AU)
Summary: After a long day, you know exactly what Curtis needs
Word count: 729
Content/warnings: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI, grunty Curtis, grumpy Curtis, nonverbal Curtis, soapy handjob, shower, Curtisâs beautiful naked body
A/N: Hehehe, happy Hoelloween, Siri!! A sweet treat, indeed!! Thank you so much for sending this in. Sorry itâs a little bit after Halloween, but I think this kind of slowed-down comfort is what we need right now. My poor Curty having a hard day? The least I can do is take care of him when he always does the same for me!!!
Thank you all for reading! Comments, reblogs, and asks are sooooo appreciated.
Dividers by @strangergraphics
Main Masterlist
Curled up on the couch queueing up all the scary movies you had planned to watch for the night, you heard his truck pull into the driveway. Curtis was finally home, and it was much later than you both had anticipated.
On most days, he was gone before the sunrise, that part wasnât new. But early hours usually meant an early return unless something went wrong at the shop. And judging by the way the sun was well below set in the sky and you were already on your second bowl of candy for the trick-or-treaters, something went really wrong.
The door closed a little harder than usual, although Curtis was careful not to slam it. Based off of that, he didnât seem angry about the day, but most definitely annoyed at the very least.
You turned to greet him, but he was already gone, the faint sound of him toeing off his boots filling the hallway along with his jingling belt buckle. He was probably going to take a shower to wash the day away, which was a good idea. That always calmed him a little, but he probably needed even more than that.
Curtis was probably going to take a bit of a longer shower, too, but you didnât want to waste time. You moved quickly to throw the blanket off of you, grabbing the bowl of candy and setting it on the doormat for kids to help themselves. Your man needed you.
You ran quickly with your socked feet faintly sliding on the wooden floors, grateful you had already closed the windows earlier as you shucked off pieces of clothing one by one, leaving a trail.
Once you got to the bathroom door, Curtis was already under the water, simply standing there and letting it rush over him, a faint frown on his face. His hulking shoulders rose and fell steadily with his even breathing which was interrupted as you stepped into his space.
Curtisâs eyes blinked open, his long eyelashes catching droplets of water. Your heart sunk a little, seeing the clear exhaustion in his features as you reached up, your hands gently cupping his jaw, beard lightly scratching your palms.
âHi, honey,â you whispered just above the sound of rushing water. He simply sighed and gave a grunt in response. Curtis had used his voice too much today, barking orders and corrections around the shop, dealing with more than his fair share of customers. Words were not something he wanted to produce right now, and he was so happy you could see that with the sympathetic smile that you flashed him.
Without a second thought, you knew exactly what you needed to do, reaching to the side and grabbing a dollop of body wash. You lathered it between your hands before pressing them against his firm pecs, rubbing in small circles. You moved outward across the broad expanse of his chest, watching his eyes flutter shut and his head tilt backwards in ecstasy.
You worked your way downward, over the hair of his chest and the ridges of his abs until you came upon the thatch of hair just above where he was starting to grow hard. The relaxation and care you were showing him was enough to do that, and after the kind of day he had, be needed a release.
You reached your soapy hand for his shaft, slowly pumping his length. You were startled as Curtisâs hand shot out and slapped the shower wall, his chin falling to his sternum as his breaths began to pick up. You could hear them huffing out of his nose. He watched the way you expertly twisted your wrist, slightly tentative since he still hadnât spoken yet.
Curtisâs head slowly rose, his pupils blown with pleasure looking at you through his eyelashes. From the sight of his lust and need to feel good taking over, you got distracted, lost in his gaze. You didnât even realize your hold weakening, your rhythm faltering until his large hand clasped over yours, helping you squeeze him and move faster.
Finally, Curtisâs lips broke their seal with a small gasp. His chest rumbled in a way that sent a shiver through you despite the warm water. His voice came out in a low growl, one you couldnât ever bring yourself to deny.
âThatâs it. Give me what I need.â
Bonus A/N: Gimme that beast of a man. Lemme shower him in affection and wash off that grime in an actual showerđ«Ł
Taglist: @hawkeyes-queen @ronearoundblindly @mercurial-chuckles @steviebbboi
#Curtis Everett#Curtis Everett x reader#Curtis Everett smut#Curtis Everett Halloween#Curtis Everett rough day#Curtis Everett hard day#Curtis Everett shower#boyfriend Curtis Everett#boyfriend!curtis Everett#boyfriend! Curtis Everett#snowpiercer#Chris Evans#Chris Evans fanfiction#Curtis Everett fanfiction#CE character fanfiction#thanks for dropping in#Essie answers#stargazingfangirl18#Curtis Everett shower sex#Curtis Everett imagine#Curtis Everett Drabble#Curtis Everett ficlet#curtis everett fic
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yo yo yo whats up it your favorite person here and their name is anon (i think)
anyways; s may i have some headcanons of narancia confessing to the usual shy reader? either the part where he might ask the others for help or the actual confession, thanks you very much!!1!!1
(as you can tell⊠we all narancia. hes our baby boy, hehehehheHEHEHHEHAHHAHHAAH)
Masterlist here <3
Well hello there my favorite lerson, anon! :p I adore narancia he is literally my baby and I love this ask so much <3
Sorry for the late reply! I have been super busy lately, so if I do take too long to answer your request I am not ignoring it dw but please be patient </3
Narancia confessing to shy reader headcanons
- Narancia is absolutely buzzing with energy the moment he realizes heâs in love with you. Youâre the first thing on his mind when he wakes up and the last thing he thinks about before bed. But the thought of confessing? Absolutely Terrifying
- Knowing youâre shy, he tries to plan everything perfectly. He wants it to feel special without overwhelming you, but he has no idea where to start
- He turns to the gang for advice because, letâs face it, Narancia isnât exactly an expert in romance:
- Mista tells him to play it cool and just go with the flow, but Narancia knows thatâs not his style. If he tries to act too laid-back, heâll end up tripping over his words or forgetting what he wanted to say
- Fugo suggests writing a letter to organize his thoughts. Narancia gives it a shot but quickly gets distracted drawing little hearts and sketches of your face in the margins
- Giorno advises him to be genuine. âShow them how much you care,â which makes Narancia overthink every little thing he wants to say. What if itâs too much? What if he scares you off?
- Bruno reminds him to keep it simple. âIf they like you, theyâll appreciate the effort no matter what.â This sticks with Narancia, giving him the final push to just go for it
- After a lot of pacing and second-guessing himself, he decides to take you to a quiet spot near the water, somewhere peaceful where you wonât feel too pressured
- He shows up a little early to make sure everything feels right. He even brought a small giftâa flower he picked on the way or a little trinket he found that reminded him of you. Itâs his way of breaking the ice
- The second you arrive, you can tell somethingâs up. Heâs more jittery than usual, running a hand through his hair way too often
- Narancia tries to start casually, but his nerves get the best of him. His words tumble out all at once, a mix of excitement and panic. âSo, uh, Iâve been meaning to tell you something. Itâs not bad! I mean, I hope itâs not bad. Actually, itâs⊠itâs good. Really good. At least, I think itâs goodâuh, sorry, Iâm rambling.â
- He stops, takes a deep breath, and looks at you with wide, earnest eyes. His voice softens, and for once, his usual chaotic energy settles into something tender and sincere
- âWhat Iâm trying to say is⊠I like you. Like, really like you. More than a friend. You make me feel so happy just by being around, and IâI want to make you happy too. So, uh⊠would you want to, yâknow, be with me? Like, together?â
- Heâs blushing so hard it looks like he might combust. His hands are fidgeting, and he keeps glancing away, afraid to see your reaction
- If youâre too shy to respond right away, Narancia immediately backtracks, waving his hands frantically. âAh, you donât have to answer now! I didnât mean to put you on the spot!â
- But when you do manage to tell him you feel the same, his face lights up and his eyes go wide with disbelief before a huge, goofy grin spreads across his face
- âWait, really?! You mean it? You like me too?!â Heâs so overwhelmed with joy that he instinctively pulls you into a hug, but he catches himself halfway and asks, âIs this okay?â before wrapping his arms around you
- Narancia is on cloud nine for the rest of the day. He insists on walking you home, chatting nonstop about all the fun things youâll do together now that youâre officially a couple
- Heâs extra attentive to your needs, especially knowing how shy you are. He never wants to make you feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed, so heâs careful about taking things slow
- Around the gang, he canât help but brag a little, but itâs always in a way thatâs sweet rather than obnoxious. âYeah, theyâre with me now! Can you believe it? Theyâre amazing!â
- Narancia starts bringing you little gifts all the timeâflowers, snacks, or even things he made himself. âI saw this and thought of you!â becomes his favorite line
- He loves holding your hand but is always gentle about it. If youâre too shy for PDA, heâll respect that, but he still sneaks little touches whenever he canâlike brushing his fingers against yours or resting his hand on your lower back
I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did writing it <3 If youâd like anything specific added or anything fixed you can message me about it!
If you enjoyed this make sure to check out my other posts, and if youâd like anything specific for any jjba character/squad you can request it if my requests are open!
#jjba scenario#jjba scenarios#jjba#jojos bizarre adventure#jojo no kimyou na bouken#narancia x reader#narancia ghirga#narancia scenarios#narancia headcanons#jjba bucci gang
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My translyrics for Salamander, written out under the cut :D
This one was much more difficult than the last, but I'm still very satisfied with it! đ€ I'm both sad that my version lost a lot of the fun soundplay of the original, and also waaay more impressed with the lyrics and vocals after digging it like this! I tried to keep it balanced between the original and Fuuta's version, though maybe it ended up leaning more toward the cover, idk. Leaving my specific notes in the tags đ
Salamander~ Hot's nice, don't you agree? This pa- passion's fine, see?
"But" isn't what I wanna hear, so say "more" loud and clear.
It's heating up all through my mind when I'm with you.
I want a taste, but all this spice may prove more than I can take, (eh?)
Something's on your mind. So spit it out and tell me, don't waste my time, kay?
I'm hooked on this, pass me a dish.
The way I'm starving here without you -- it's a crime
A spicy treat, put on repeat,
Can I get seconds with the same heat? One more time!
Salamander~ Hot's nice, don't you agree? This pa- passion's fine, see?
"But" isn't what I wanna hear, so say "more" loud and clear.
It's heating up all through my mind when I'm with you.
I can't stop anything, although I wouldn't want to stop, oh no --
Take a breath, it's best to cool down or you earn yourself a burn.
I want a bite, I can't help giving in to this new appetite.
Again, again, I want to be on fire when I get to the end.
We live too fast, we burn to ash,
I never handled spices well and it's a crime.
A spicy treat, put on repeat,
Can I get seconds with the same heat? One more time!
I want to burn bright red
I want to burn bright red
Salamander~ Hot's nice, don't you agree? This pa- passion's fine, see?
"But" isn't what I wanna hear, so say "more" loud and clear.
Tell me I'm not alone in my mind!
Salamander~ Look what's happened to me. This pa- passion's crazy
Tell me I'm not delirious, I'm being serious.
It's heating up all through my mind when I'm with you.
I can't stop anything, although I wouldn't want to stop, oh no --
Take a breath, it's best to cool down or you earn yourself a burn.
I want to leave I want to go, but I can never stop, oh no --
Take a breath, it's best to cool down or you earn yourself a burn.
#milgram#fuuta kajiyama#deco*27#this time i can confidently say this is my fav milgram song lmao#literally the hardest line of the whole song was the very first one#still not 100% satisfied but compared to my dozens of draft lines its pretty good#i really wanted the 'po's to be within a word like the original and went digging through so many words with the sound in the middle LMAO#i wanted something focused more on heat/spice but alas it had to be passion -_-#there was very little space to get across the idea of 'its not a big deal right?' so i hope 'fine' conveys what i want it to hmm...#forever missing the sound of 'ripiccha itai/ piriccha itai' but the treat/repeat lines still worked out well!#so mad english doesnt have a nice onomatopoeia like 'fuu' :(#i needed to keep the long u to finish of the first stanza the long o in a few lines -- i absolutely love how arthur lounsbery sings those#my ace ass appreciates his commitment to singing such a steamy song so harsh and turning the seductive whispers into angry grumbling đ#me too man#the struggle of trying to write fun food lines and going 'oh NO that sounds even dirtier now' đđđ#i actually did record myself singing and i knew it was gonna be bad but it was Really Awful adsfdsfd so sorry#just take my word for it!!! it all works perfectly!!!#(once again if anyone wants to cover it hmu hehe :3)#oops spelled delirious wrong in my chart shhhhhh#lyrics
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any hopes for kiwami 3? like things u wanna see added or changed stuff like that
if they dont keep kiryu's goofy walk stance and the hoof-like walk sounds i dont wanna play it
#snap chats#no one understands how much i love that from y3 and y4 its genuinely one of my favorite things about the game#oh but i guess i have to give an actual answer now. HMPH.#id scream if they revived kanda calling mine limp wristed. homophobia in 4k#OK BUT TO BE SERIOUS uhhhh i dont know. im a real simple guy i think#my only like. If This Isnt There Im Leaving deal is mine's palette and im so serious#rgg's scaring me with all the black-hair/purple-suit mine stuff as of late and i cant stress how hard ill vomit if thats in the final#HYPOTHETICAL final anyways. yk3 isnt coming out for. IDK A WHILE#i wanna say i hope they highlight daigo and mine's relationship more but i dont know how theyd do that#i really like how mine's handled in y3 as is so i dont think i want scenes injected like what they did with yk1 and nishiki#someone said a Mine Saga after the game and... hm ... sounds too unrealistic for me to hope for it#like im REALLY trying to think how they could possibly reference the rggo stories in y3 since those are EXCELLENT but#i think . MAYBE. you could reference the story where richardson calls mine as he's driving to the hospital#the only thing you'd have to exclude though is mine stopping by the bar- like JUST keep the phone conversation maybe#cause in that scene that subordinate does question mine if he can really kill daigo and i think thatd be neat. in my opinion.#yeah i dont know. in regards to rggo its hard to think of what i want without intervening things i already like about y3#its a real head scratcher ...#a really good epilogue addition would be adapting that RGGO bit where daigo ruminates on mine. that's a fair ending for him i think#it also fulfills the need to see how daigo saw mine even if its just a little#and to non-rggo readers it could start to answer 'how does daigo feel about everything that happened'#im still so curious as to if daigo was briefed on EVERYTHING that happened but .... anyways....#sorry all my hopes for y3 are just mine/minedai centric fLVKELKA BUT LIKE. i really am content with everything else with y3 surprisingly#idk. i want kiryu fucking up that curry in high definition tho. thats important to me#THEY HAVE TO KEEP THE QTES DURING THE RICHARDSON FIGHT ILL BE PISSED#i need the fight to be AS CAMPY and unnecessary as it was in the og. INCLUDING richardson's voice acting i need it wack as hell#is it weird i actually appreciate the Diet Building Loredumping being like. in replayable-cutscene form#i thought id prefer just One Long cutscene but im glad theres the option to skip those segments#BUT being able to get a refresher in case you missed something somehow#im running out of tags jesus christ i shouldve put this in the main text but vjALjlagj those are all my thoughts for now bYE
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YO WHAT THE FUCK
Ultratober days 1-3
Favourite soundtrack: Order
#sorry i have to reblog this is insane#gang LOOK at the rendering on v1 thats INSANE#im soooo in love with this camera look on v1 op i love you i LOVEEEEE you#i know its not done rendering (i think) but i LOVEEEE the sketch lines on minos its so awesome op#sorry sorry sorry i REALLY dont wanna become an reblog blog because i just wanna like ultraart and post art occasionally but DEAR LORDDDD#the SNAKE??? IT LOOKS SO WISPY???#THE TEETH AND THE CORPSE OF MINOS OP YOU HAVE OUTDONE YOURSELF#yes spectacular give me a thousand more#i love love LOVE the anatomy and muscle definition and POSES#V1 LOOKS SO HAUNTED#LIKE SURPRISED????? op i hope you know i owe you my life#I LOVEEEE THE RENDERING SO MUCH I ADORE THE COLORS AND THE BISEXUAL LIGHTING#sorry i need more people to appreciate the lust layer in ultrakill#any ultralayer in general#GOD#OUGHGHGHGHG#OUGHGHGHGHHHHHHH#IM HOWLLINGGGGGG THEY GOT ME FOAMINGGGG#sorry really long tags but i love ultraart#i need to start gushing more on art i reblog because i react to ALL arts the same#IM??? THE CAMERA LOOK ON VEE ONE I CANT STOP OUGHHH OPPPPP GIVE ME YOUR SKILLS NEOWWW!!!!#i love love love lvoe love you i love artists i love people i think we all deserve to live happily forever and ever#I LOVE MINOS#i wanna thank the fossil fuel that powered op's ancestors' first car ever to get us here#i wanna thank the fuel that powered MY ancestors' first cars to get ME here to look at this#sorry really weird tags i promise im normal#lovely art op this is too good#please keep cooking you are so cunty with this
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treat you better | carlos sainz
face claim: none âĄ
request: here !
requested: Could I request a Carlos smau where another driver breaks your heart and heâs there to pick up the pieces and make you whole again? Please and thank you â€ïž
cw: cheating, bad guy charles, mentions of unwell family members, cursing
a/n: charles and alex i love u guys i promise this is just for the au <3
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November
đ€ charles_leclerc liked by fan, fan, and 78,283 others
f1gossip Trouble in paradise for Charles and Y/N? Charles Leclerc was spotted on a long walk on one of Monaco's more secluded islands with a mysterious brunette and his and Y/N's dog, Leo, this weekend. Sources say the pair were often looking to see if there were cameras around, the two of them giggling as they held hands and played with the puppy. Y/N L/N, Charles girlfriend of 2 years, is currently said to be on a trip home to see family, we wonder if the two have broken up or if Charles is back to his old ways?
fan f1gossip tagging charles is so shady i love it
fan when i catch you charles
fan no bc remember when a fan said they met y/n in her hometown and she was visiting her gran bc she's not doing too good? charles u fuckin suck bro âł fan wtf really???? oh i hope his tyres stick to the road next race âł fan kmag you know what you need to do âł fan we put our hopes and prayers in the paddock terror đđ
fan ok but the girls gorgeous âł fan THAT'S YOUR TAKEAWAY FROM THIS? âł fan im just saying damn
fan this is not what i meant when i said i wanted silly season to get more interesting
fan *looks around* wow i'm so surprised... not like charles has a bad rep with women or anything
fan i hope y/ns ok... my heart is hurting for her âł fan the paddock adore her, charles has got a big storm coming next week
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liked by kellypiquet, carmenmmundt and 25 others
y/npriv my gran is doing so much better (nothing can keep the old girl down), my hometown is still as gorgeous as always and my sister got me a cake :)
kellypiquet my girl :((( i'm so happy your grans ok đ€ âł y/npriv thank u kelly bear đ€ âł kellypiquet did i have to physically hold max back from going after he who shall not be named?? yes... did i consider letting go?? very much so âł y/npriv đđ hes not voldemort babe đ you should have just let him go âł kellypiquet now is that really how you feel? âł y/npriv ... no but i wish i did âł maxverstappen1 she has to go to sleep at some point, then i shall be free âł y/npriv thats so ominous you strange creature (i appreciate you)
carmenmmundt me and george have been keeping your gran in our prayers angel đ©· âł y/npriv i love you carm đ©· âł georgerussell63 and me? âł y/npriv i tolerate you :)
flavy.barla esteban nearly joined max âł y/npriv love him dearly but este's about as intimidating as a teddy bear âł estebanocon ?? hey??? âł y/npriv sorry king xo there's a reason your nicknames estie bestie âł estebanocon let it DIEEEEE âł y/npriv never đ«¶
schecoperez I am glad your gran is ok, y/n. Let me or Carola know if you need anything x âł y/npriv thank you checo :( give the little ones and carola a big hug from me x â„ïž schecoperez
lilyzneimer he shall d word at my hands âł y/npriv i fuckin love you lily
lewishamilton he will never know peace next year. âł lewishamilton i am however happy to hear your gran is well x âł y/npriv lewis đ thank you x
francisca.c.gomes pierre has been shouting at Him on the phone for like an hour... âł y/npriv đ ... what are they saying âł francisca.c.gomes a lot of french and things i don't want delicate eyes (yuki) to read... âł y/npriv pierre i appreciate you âł pierregasly i'm gonna kill him âł y/npriv ok maybe tone it down frenchie
lilymhe alex is setting his zoo on him âł y/npriv that's how you know it's serious wow âł alex_albon tinky's gonna boot him in the head
sebastianvettel i am very glad to hear your gran is ok, y/n, sending her and you all my love x âł y/npriv thank you seb :( miss you x âł sebastianvettel come and see us soon! the kids miss you x âł y/npriv you got it! x
danielricciardo he's a cunt âł danielricciardo and i don't mean that in a nice aussie way âł y/npriv DANIEL âł oscarpiastri no he's right, in the nasty aussie way, he's a cunt âł y/npriv oscar i did not raise you to talk like this âł oscarpiastri we are literally like 4 years apart in age... âł y/npriv kicking a girl when she's down WOW oscar âł oscarpiastri ... i am sorry mother dearest âł y/npriv that's better
carlossainz55 hermosa, he may be il predestinato but to me he is carne morta (dead meat) âł y/npriv carlos đ âł carlossainz55 also i'm glad to know your gran is well, send her my love âł y/npriv she already fancies you enough as it is âł carlossainz55 my plan is working :) âł y/npriv what plan? are you seducing my family members??? hiding my mum as we speak âł carlossainz55 something like that ;)
yukitsunoda0511 happy to see your gran is ok! and i am sorry about the other thing :((((( âł y/npriv yuki my angel you have nothing to be sorry about
kevinmagnussen i know what i have to do âł y/npriv kevin NO you're like 2 points away from a race ban!! âł kevinmagnussen worth it :) âł y/npriv nicohulkenburg pls talk some sense into your teammate âł nicohulkenburg unfortunately y/n i too will be joining kevin in his "defense" âł y/npriv haas i am so sorry
landonorris i may have done a thing... âł y/npriv i am terrified... âł landonorris i'll text you :)
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đMonaco
đ€ landonorris, carlossainz55, francisca.c.gomes, kellypiquet, lilymhe, lilynzeimer, flavy.barla, carmenmmundt liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 87,902 others
y/nstagram angel baby, dumb and dumber and my girls đ©·
Comments on this post have been limited
carlossainz55 ... am i dumb or dumber âł y/nstagram do you really want to know? đ€š âł carlossainz55 for my own sanity im saying i'm dumb âł landonorris why am i dumber????? âł carlossainz55 do you really want to know? đ€š
carmenmmundt don't forget about lunch today xx âł y/nstagram been looking forward to it since i boarded the plane đ«¶
landonorris you're welcome for the lift and the room btw đ âł y/nstagram my saviour xx âł landonorris and for stealing leo for you âł y/nstagram I NEVER ASKED YOU TO STEAL HIM???? đ âł landonorris well i did because i'm an amazing friend and am willing to sacrifice all my bloody furniture âł y/nstagram you leave the baby alone, he was probably stressed :(
âââââââââ ౚৠâââââââââ
FEBRUARY
(estrellita - little star) (uy, quécarechimba - ugh, that dickhead)
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đShanghai
đ€ carlossainz55, landonorris liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 89,028 others
y/nstagram did y'all think i would miss the first race week?? ft dumber and roomie x
fan mother has returned!!!!! â„ïž y/nstagram
fan if looks could kill, carlos would be six feet under ... charles was FUMING âł fan given the way his girly hid when y/n appeared i would say he has no right to be mad at all âł fan if the girl i cheated on rocked up to my teammates garage whilst i was with my side piece i quite frankly would walk onto the track midrace âł fan how do we know charles cheated? they've not said anything âł fan exactly. if they had been broken up surely they would have put out some sort of announcement to clear things up ????
scuderiaferrari always good to see you in red, y/n â€ïž âł y/nstagram FORZA FERRARI SEMPRE!!!!!! đđđđđđ
carlossainz55 i hate this new nickname âł y/nstagram what else should i call you? âł carlossainz55 yours âł fan CARLOS I SAW THAT????????
landonorris i have been demoted from bestie to roomie... this is the thanks i get... âł y/nstagram thanks roomie xx btw bins go out on tuesday :)
lewishamilton now you're free of your ferrari obligations, you should come across to mercedes next time ;) âł mercedesamgf1 we would love to see you over here y/n! âł mclaren um no us next?? âł alpinef1team no us!!! âł redbullracing come to the winning team :) âł scuderiaferrari y/n will always be a ferrari girl, back OFF đ€șđ€șđ€ș â„ïž carlossainz55
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charles_leclerc added y/nstagram added to their story to their story
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liked by maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and 20 others
y/npriv that bitchass man... idk how he thought he was gonna spin that story but not on my watch
oscarpiastri did you really have to use my meme though? âł y/npriv yes it was funny and otherwise i was gonna call him a cheating lying bastard on main so đ€·đ»ââïž âł oscarpiastri understandable, please continue
danielricciardo lando was laughing so hard i think he bust a rib âł landonorris it still hurts to breathe but holy shit y/n i love u âł y/npriv love u too stink :) also don't forget to pick up leo's food from the shops âł landonorris you do know you can text me this stuff? âł y/npriv yeah but reminding everyone we're roomies is funny to me
maxverstappen1 walked past ferrari hospitality and fred was PISSED âł y/npriv đđ carlossainz55 can you confirm? âł carlossainz55 oh, absolutely... i was worried he was going to have a heart attack or something
francisca.c.gomes ok but did he not even think to talk to you first before posting that? it's literally been months âł y/npriv apparently not đ texted him about it and suddenly he was sorry âł francisca.c.gomes men đ âł pierregasly ???? âł francisca.c.gomes i stand by what i said âł y/npriv yeah is there a problem gasly? âł pierregasly no problem at all ma'am, as you were
scuderiaferrari we had no knowledge charles was going to post that. we love you y/n âł danielricciardo FERRARI? why are you on y/ns priv? âł y/npriv me and the social media intern are besties xx
carlossainz55 estrellita, lets go for dinner, you deserve it âł y/npriv đ are you paying? âł carlossainz55 of course, i am a gentleman âł y/npriv pick me up in an hour :)
âââââââââ ౚৠâââââââââ
liked by fan, fan and 40,718 others
f1gossip Carlos Sainz and Y/N L/N were spotted at dinner last night. The two enjoyed a meal before taking a stroll along the Monaco pier front where, as pictured, the pair were in high spirits. We're happy to see Y/N looking so happy following the revelation that her ex-boyfriend, and Carlos' current F1 teammate, had cheated on her. The two were then joined by Y/N's current roommate and F1 driver, Lando Norris, who then whisked them off to a local nightclub. We continue to send Y/N our support and hope to see more of her happy side.
fan i don't think i've ever seen y/n laugh like that, we love to see it
fan this coupled with the photos of charles and his girly arguing in the paddock đ€đ€ we know who won the breakup
fan why do i kinda think carlos and y/n would be cute together âł fan woah, she's only been broken up with charles for a few months and under really shitty circumstances, she needs time to heal âł fan ofc ofc!!! i just mean when she's over ch*rles, the two would make a really good couple
fan happy y/n and happy carlos, my two favourite things â€ïž
fan y/ncarlos fans we rise!!! âł fan he would treat her so right âł fan the entire time she dated That Man, carlos has always been so nice to her, i wonder if he secretly fancied her all along đ âł fan or maybe he's just a good guy âł fan that too đ€·đ»ââïž
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APRIL
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đ Australia
liked by y/nstagram, landonorris and 890,274 others
carlossainz55 swipe across to see me and oomf Another Carlando podium! We know what you guys wanna see and we love to deliver! The car drove like a dream today, shame we couldn't get more points but it's always nice to celebrate a great race with some champagne showers!
See 98,072 other comments
fan WHO TAUGHT CARLOS WHAT OOMF WAS??? âł fan either lando or y/n 100% đ
fan CARLANDO PODIUM!!!!!!!!! WE DREAM OF DAYS LIKE THIS
y/nstagram FORZA FERRARI SEMPRE !!! đđđđ congrats winner đ„ł âł carlossainz55 i think i was right when i said you would be my good luck charm đ â„ïž y/nstagram âł fan oh they're so sick for this âł fan y/ncarlos'ers we're so winning
charles_leclerc congrats âł fan ik for a fact he was forced to comment
landonorris carlando are back baby!! âł landonorris also cant believe im either oomf or roomie... âł y/nstagram stop leaving your smelly socks in the bathroom and maybe i'll change the nickname âł landonorris oh that was mean
fan "shame we couldn't get more points" carlos you shady shady man
fan who else cheered when kmag pulled through and took * out of the race
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liked by carlossainz55, francisca.c.gomes and 21 others
y/npriv oh we eating good tonight
kellypiquet i'm sure we are đ âł y/npriv KELLY???
landonorris carlos is so sexy âł y/npriv real âł landonorris back off my man??? âł carlossainz55 i'm gonna hold your hand when i say this lando... âł landonorris WOOOOOOW.... i see how it is carlos
carlossainz55 gorgeous as always âł y/npriv you can't even see my face in that photo carlos đ€Ł âł carlossainz55 don't need to see you to know you're gorgeous âł maxverstappen1 i hate to say it but that was smooth âł danielricciardo they don't call him the smooth operator for no reason
scuderiaferrari power (soon to be (fingers crossed)) couple âł carlossainz55 đ âł y/npriv not from the main acc damn
francisca.c.gomes need you biblically âł y/npriv come here then babe xx âł flavy.barla lemme join âł y/npriv i got two hands babygirl âł oscarpiastri estebanocon pierregasly you gonna let her snatch both your girls? âł estebanocon unfortunately there was a clause when they agreed to date us and it was that y/n is wifey, we are simply the Others âł pierregasly ^^
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liked by carlossainz55, lilymhe and 25 others
y/npriv decided to put him out of his misery :)
carlossainz55 and who is that sexy man? âł y/npriv idk but he keeps speaking spanish to me even though he knows i dont understand it đ âł carlossainz55 but do you like it? đ âł y/npriv i think you know i do x
francisca.c.gomes AND YOU DIDNT UPDATE THE GROUPCHAT??????? âł lilymhe FR!!!! I LITERALLY SAID TELL US AFTER YOU KISS HIM âł y/npriv SHUT UP RN âł carlossainz55 no do go on âł lilymhe what happens in the y/n gf's gc, stays in the y/n gf's gc
carlossainz55 estĂĄs muy guapa, vuelve a la cama cariño â€ïž (you look so pretty, come back to bed sweetheart) âł maxverstappen1 we have the translate function on ig you horndog âł y/npriv don't be mad i snatched ur man âł maxverstappen1 ... he'll never forget the redbull days
landonorris RUE WHEN WAS THIS?????? âł y/npriv hiiiii lando... um so.... đđ»ââïžđđ»ââïžđđ»ââïž âł landonorris GET BACK HERE U RAT EXPLAIN YOURSELF âł landonorris carlossainz55 WHAT ARE U DOING WITH MY ROOMIE ???? âł carlossainz55 i mean i could tell you but instagram does have guidelines âł landonorris ew ew ew that's so gross i dont even wanna know âł landonorris happy for you guys or whatever but ew never tell me anything remotely sexual about y/n or i will vom âł y/npriv lando wtf???? âł landonorris you're like my annoying sister i'd have to remove my skinsuit if carlos opens his fat mouth âł carlossainz55 hey? âł y/npriv you're so fuckin weird ily
danielricciardo HE SHOOTS, HE SCORES!!!! âł carlossainz55 you were right, they don't call me the smooth operator for no reason âł y/npriv you were literally giggling and kicking your feet after i kissed you âł carlossainz55 y/n :(((( my reputation :((((((
lilyzneimer wait do was taking the photos? âł y/npriv ... self timer âł lilyzneimer down horrifically bad wow
scuderiaferrari OH Y/NCARLOS'ERS WE WON!!!!! âł y/npriv admin đ not u too âł scuderiaferrari not even sorry i've been WAITING for this one!!!
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liked by francisca.c.gomes, fan and 30,892 others
f1gossip A surprise twist in the Charles and Y/N drama? Following Sainz's back to back victory in Australia and then Silverstone, Y/N and Carlos shared what looks like a loving kiss. Eagle eyed fans then spotted Charles on camera arguing with a Ferrari employee in the garages following the Y/NCarlos moment. Finally, Carlos was spotted outside where he was soon joined by Y/N, the two leaving the circuit hand in hand. It is noted Charles' new beau was nowhere to be seen.
fan Y/NCARLOS'ERS WE SO WON!!!! â„ïž 10,829 others
fan she upgraded wowow
fan charles throwing a hissy fit was so funny i was cackling watching it
fan kika in the likes... what do you know queen? â„ïž francisca.c.gomes
user not her being a homie hopper đ€ą âł carlossainz55 can't be a homie hopper if we're not homies :) âł fan CARLOS????? âł fan oh he ate them up âł fan carlos has not been fucking with ch*rles for a WHILE, even before all the drama
fan y/n's face... she looked so happy my heart is so full â€ïž
fan queen y/n we trust your judgement
fan ik the entire grid is cheering rn
âââââââââ ౚৠâââââââââ
đ England
liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 105,018 others
y/nstagram carlando podium again!!! anything else interesting happen at Silverstone? :)
fan the carlando bears đ her boyfriend(?) and bestie đ âł landonorris roomie* âł y/nstagram you love me shut up
fan she's so unbothered im giggling
francisca.c.gomes the last slide... âł y/nstagram don't worry baby, he was just dropping me off for our date x âł carlossainz55 all i am to you is a glorified taxi driver
landonorris couldn't even post a photo of me for my podium... see how it is âł y/nstagram don't want your ugly mug messing up my feed âł y/nstagram also grey bin needs to go out on tuesday âł landonorris you're on bin duty this week? âł y/nstagram actually i'm gonna be on a boat in spain soooo âł landonorris i hope y'all break up âł fan LANDO ? âł y/nstagram he's joking dw he did the whole "big brother" speech with carlos, was kinda funny knowing carlos would flatten him in 2 seconds flat âł landonorris oh now i really hope y'all break up
fan y/n please we know you have bf carlos pics... i only ask for one thing âł y/nstagram i'll post some soon x âł fan the most unserious soft/hard launch
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đ€ carlossainz55 liked by carlossainz55, lilyzneimer and 98,017 others
y/nstagram my boyfriends so hot, do you guys mind if i chew on him a lil?
carlossainz55 please don't chew me??? âł y/nstagram it's internet sla- never mind, ok mr sainz
fan her captions are always so real i love her
fan unhinged y/n is back, we missed you best friend â„ïž y/nstagram
scuderiaferrari HARD LAUNCH HARD LAUNCH HARD LAUNCH LETS GO Y/NCARLOS'ERS!!!! âł y/nstagram i love u admin â€ïž âł scuderiaferrari our ferrari girl, forever â€ïž
landonorris i hate this âł fan your ex and your roomie đ âł landonorris you get it đ âł carlossainz55 stop calling me your ex đ âł landonorris you dare deny the love we shared?
francisca.c.gomes never mind him, can i chew on you a lil? âł kellypiquet ^ âł lilymhe ^ âł lilyzneimer ^ âł flavy.barla ^ âł carmenmmundt ^ âł y/nstagram everyone grab a limb x âł carlossainz55 please don't chew my girlfriend
fan thank you for the pic y/n! sorry for interrupting your holiday đ„ș âł y/nstagram don't be silly!! it was lovely to meet you <333 dont forget to send me the link to the dress!! âł fan on it!! âł fan omg how was it meeting them? âł fan they're honestly so sweet, they were just holding hands and walking around and carlos was yapping away and the way y/n was looking at him đ„ș they're endgame fr âł fan could actually cry?? âł fan also when they were on the beach, carlos twirled her around and they started dancing to the music playing from a nearby bar... it was actually like a movie scene đđ
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đ€ y/nstagram liked by y/nstagram, scuderiaferrari and 505,287 others
carlossainz55 dicen que ver una estrella fugaz da buena suerte, y tenĂan razĂłn, mi estrellita â€ïž (they say seeing a shooting star is good luck, and they were right, my little star)
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francisca.c.gomes that first picture... i love my girlfriend âł carlossainz55 can't even have peace on my own hard launch âł francisca.c.gomes you snatched y/n from her girlfriends, you will never know peace.
fan he bagged a baddie wowow
fan the caption??? oh hes in LOVE â„ïž carlossainz55
y/nstagram đ„ș carlos..i'm so grateful to have you in my life â€ïž âł carlossainz55 i am the one who's grateful â€ïž
scuderiaferrari heyyy y/n *with rizz* âł carlossainz55 even my own teams admin wow... âł scuderiaferrari not my fault your girlfriends hot
user homie hopper âł carlossainz55 eat glass :) âł y/nstagram CARLOS âł scuderiaferrari we love that you're happy but please carlos this is still your official account
lilymhe y/n i could treat you so much better âł carlossainz55 back off i've waited years for this âł y/nstagram YEARS??? âł carlossainz55... đđ»ââïžđđ»ââïžđđ»ââïž âł y/nstagram you're literally sat right next to me ... âł y/nstagram he just got up and ran away... âł fan this is so fucking funny sddjsdhdk âł landonorris danielricciardo what was that about him being a smooth operator? âł danielricciardo hes also fucking dumb
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a/n: hope everyone enjoys! i am working hard on part 2 of girlfriend of the enemy so we can have some happy charles <3 also 2-3 posts in one week who AM I? (i'm gonna be busy w work so i'm trying to give u guys some food in case i have to disappear)
#carlos sainz smau#carlos sainz social media au#carlos sainz x you#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz imagine#f1 social media au#f1 smau#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fic
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Mr. and Mrs. Barnes
Pairing: Husband!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Summary: Bucky suggests sneaking off at the gala. How can you resist?
Word Count: Over 3k
Warnings: Unprotected v. sex, sex in a closet, dirty talk, possessiveness, established relationship, slight insecurities, mention of breeding, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes and he's a simp for you (he's a warning, okay?).
A/N: Sorry, lovelies. I just really wanted this. Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
Bucky didnât bother to hide his discontent as he looked around at the ballroom. Was it a gala? Fundraiser? What cared? He hated functions like these. People were either there to kiss ass and move up the chain of command or gloat about how well off they were in life under the guise that they were doing good for others. He didn't attempt to converse with any of them, but still had to go as a way to support SHIELD in some capacity and show that he was no longer the Winter Soldier.
At least Steve and Sam were excused from the event due to a mission.
Leaning against one of the pillars and tugging at his bowtie, he spaced out momentarily. No one looked his way, but he still felt judged. Like he didnât just belong at the event, but amongst anyone. He wanted to go home, get out of his tuxedo, and get the product out of his slicked back hair. He debated sneaking away from some air until he blinked and saw the reason he was truly there: you, the only real person in the crowd of liars and cheaters.
He never understood the expression of clothes clinging to someone like a second skin until you stepped into your floor-length black dress earlier this evening, the fabric enhancing every beautiful curve of your body. His eyes narrowed as you moved around the room and exchanged smiles and handshakes with people. Your aura drew people to you, men brushing against you and their stares lingering for far too long. It served as another reminder of why he didnât want to go tonight, especially when a General gripped your arm.
If he had a glass in his hand it wouldâve shattered.
Convincing you to stay in bed didn't work since you both had to make an appearance, but it didn't mean he wanted you apart from him. âGet over here,â he whispered, craving your attention, needing you close.
As if you sensed him seeking you out, likely feeling the weight of his stare, you turned to meet his gaze across the room. Your eyes sparkled with love that he never thought heâd receive in his lifetime. The kind of love he never wanted to be without again. âWould you please excuse me?â You asked loud enough for him to catch as you removed your arm from the manâs grip. âMy husband is waiting for me.â
Your hips swayed as you worked your way toward Bucky, not stopping for any other man who tried to catch your eye. Hearing you call him your husband brought the first smile to his face since he arrived. He still couldnât believe some days that you wanted forever with him. âI was wondering when my beautiful wife would remember I was here,â he said once you were close enough, reaching out for your hand.
The moment you took it, he stood tall and pulled you against him. He was certain no one else came close to the intimidating vibe he put out, his hold on you possessive as you smiled. âAs if I could forget. Practically heard you growling when General Rando touched my arm,â you teased.
âBecause he has no right to touch you,â he said, your lashes fluttering as you spun away. His hands guided you back to him. âI know youâre better with people than I am, which is why youâre the one who has to socialize and Iâm sorry for that. But you also said Iâm not allowed to break any fingers tonight and I won't be held responsible if he tries to touch you again.â
He swore he didnât have a possessive bone in his body until you sauntered into his life, giving him hopes and dreams and longing.
You laughed at him, a seductive sound that had a few heads turning. âYou do know I can break his fingers myself, right?â
He chuckled, leaning close to your ear and tickling your skin with his breath. âI know you're more than capable of kicking his ass. One of your many wonderful qualities,â he whispered. People underestimated you and that was always a mistake. âBut I still don't like that he touched you like he wanted to own you.â
You rang a finger along his bowtie. âWe all know who owns me and we know I own you, too,â you said, holding up your hand to show him your wedding ring. He tried to ignore how fast his heart pounded at the sight of his ring on your finger, the pledge you two made together. âIn a very healthy, non-toxic sort of way, of course.â
He smirked, glancing around at the crowd before looking back at you. âOf course, but maybe we could give everyone a friendly reminder that weâre a happily married and loyal couple.â His voice dropped lower, teasingly. He wanted to make your heart race like his. âOr maybe we could sneak away for a bit. Make this night a little more interesting.â
âSneak away?â You feigned innocence as you blinked at him. He was certain any innocence you had before he met you was gone thanks to him. âWhatever for?â
âYou know what for. Itâll be like that expo we went to a few months ago.â Bucky tilted his head slightly, studying your face closely. He easily picked up your sharp inhale, the way your pupils dilated and lips parted. It was clear that sneaking off was something that very much interested you. âCâmon, baby. This gala is boring and neither of us want to be here. My idea is much more fun. You know it is.â
He touched your cheek, your skin warm under his hand. He wasnât able to keep you in bed earlier like he wanted, but the thought of pulling you away and having you right here and now had his stomach fluttering with excitement. âThis gala is boring,â you agreed carefully.
âThen letâs make it exciting.â His thumb brushed across your lips and it took everything in him not to push his thumb inside. âYou made me come to this thing. Donât I deserve something for showing up and behaving?â
âI haven't made you come yet.â His muscles went taut when you briefly sucked the digit into your mouth, electricity crackling under his skin. He admired your boldness, how you were unashamedly yourself in front of these people. You didn't and would never care what they thought. âAnd I didn't make you come to this event, but I can make it worth your while.â
He held your chin and moved close until only an inch separated your faces. Your eyes gleamed with a hunger that rivaled his. The air crackled between you, daring you both to give over to your obvious desires. âAnd how exactly do you plan to do that?â He rasped when you suddenly pulled back and helped move him across the floor in a dance.
âMy plan? I thought sneaking away was your idea,â you smiled, guiding you both closer to the open doorway. âBut if we can find a closet or dark corner, you can do whatever you want with me. And Iâll even let you fuck my throat first thing tomorrow morning for behaving.â
A rumbling, deep groan escaped his throat. His fingers dug in possessively when he gripped the nape of your neck and tilted your head so he could taste your skin. Your body molding against his, soft and yielding against his solid frame, wasnât enough. There were too many clothes in the way and he wanted to bury himself deep inside you.
âYou drive me crazy, Mrs. Barnes,â he whispered, lifting his head to look into your eyes.
âThe feeling is mutual, Mr. Barnes.â You bit your lip once he waltzed you for enough away from prying eyes, the heat flaring between you. âI need you.â
Every nerve ending came to life when he claimed your mouth in a searing kiss. His tongue plunged past your lips, holding you steady as he devoured you. You melted against him, which only brought forth his primal hunger more. His intensity never scared you and he would be forever thankful for that.
You gasped as your back hit a wall, the sounds of chatter and music from the ballroom muffled. Your nails scraped the fabric of his jacket, both of you lost in sensations of lust and desire. As one of your hands continued its journey to his shoulder, the other wandered down his torso and didnât stop until you gripped his thick erection through his pants.
He abruptly broke the kiss when you gave him a squeeze, his eyes wild. âFuck,â he breathed, gripping your wrist and pushing more firmly against your hand. âYou feel that? Thatâs what you do to me.â
With dizzying speed, he spun you so that your back pressed against his front. You panted as his hand ventured through the slit of your dress and brushed along your trembling thigh. âWait until you feel how wet I am,â you whispered, grinding your hips back against his.
His mouth brushed the exposed column of your throat, alternating between small bites and open mouthed kisses. âStill get wet for me?â He asked, massaging your breast with his vibranium hand and drawing another gasp from you when he pinched your nipple. He marveled at how much he could feel with that hand and how heâd never harm you with it.
âHave you seen yourself? One look from you and Iâm soaked.â Your back arched as he bit down again. He wished he saw himself the way you did. âAnd youâre my husband. That craving for you isnât going away.â
He rocked his hips against yours, seeking out more contact and friction as his cock throbbed and heart swelled. Marriage wasnât a constant honeymoon phase. It took work. Effort. Compromise. But you were worth every moment, every struggle, every up and down.
Laughter from a few feet away had him lifting his head, both of you looking toward where the noise was coming from. âFuck,â he snarled, wanting to scream at whoever it was to go the fuck away.
âThereâs a closet around the corner. We just need to pick the lock,â you told him, smiling over your shoulder. âI may have scoped out the place in case this happened.â
He chuckled, utterly in awe of you. âI fucking love you,â he exhaled.
Walking with an aching hard-on wasnât easy, but he managed to get you both further away from the ballroom. He picked the lock with record speed once you got to the door and moved you both inside. He flipped on the light, wanting to see as much of you as he could. For a moment, you two stared at each other and waited for the other to make a move. He loved the anticipation.
âIâm disappointed in you, Mr. Barnes,â you said, reaching for the doorknob to lock it. He was about to ask what he possibly did to upset you when you smirked. âYou didnât mention anything about me not wearing any panties.â
His cock was ready to burst from his pants. âBecause that fucking clown out there interupted me,â he rumbled, pinning you against the door and crowding your body. His nose touched yours as he hiked your dress up, desperate to kiss you again. Eager to feel your wetness. âYou trust me?â
It was a question he always asked. You put all of yourself into his care, your body, mind, heart, and soul. It was only fair that he made sure you still wanted him to be the one for you today, tomorrow, and every day after that. Even then a single lifetime would never be enough for him. He wanted a thousand lives with you.
âAlways,â you said, an ache in your voice that he couldnât resist. He fused his lips with yours, building up the fire all over again when his hand found your damp heat. The most intimate part of you where you allowed him to make himself at home. Your hands shook as you went to undo his pants, wanting to free him. âAnd you trust me?â
It wasnât just his heart that contracted. His very soul trembled, wanting to wrap itself up in your light and love. âWith everything in me,â he promised, sighing when he pulled his cock free from his underwear. âIâll worship you later. Those gorgeous tits of yours. Your sweet cunt.â
Once you were home, heâd slip off your dress and give every beautiful inch of your body the attention it deserved. Heâd draw a bath for you, too, and hopefully join you so he could simply hold you. But he was desperate for you now. He thought heâd burn if he didnât have you.
You hiked a leg around him, moving your hips enticingly. There was only so much he could take. And who wouldnât fall under the tempting spell of your body? âIâm ready for you.â Your soft moan echoed in his ears as he trailed a finger along your slit to your clit, barely touching it. He knew it would shoot small sparks through your body until you begged for more. âI mean it, Barnes. Get. Your cock. In me.â
âMy needy little wife,â he whispered against your lips as he gripped the base of his cock and probed your entrance. The breathy sound you made when he began to push in had his blood pulsing in euphoria. It was a wonder he fit some days with how tight you were, but your slick heat stretched and welcomed him every time.
âMy needy husband,â you smiled as you enveloped him completely, your fingers curling in his hair.
âWhat kind of man isnât needy for his wife?â He began to thrust in deep, deliberate strokes. It matched the rhythm of the music in the distant ballroom, the two of you creating your own sultry dance. Maybe he would go up in flames. At least heâd have you to burn with. âFuck, your body was made for my cock.â
Each snap of his hips tore more moans and whimpers from your throat and sent shockwaves through his system. You clenched around him with a smile, looking like a debauched angel. âMy pussy was made for you, so ruin it.â
He groaned, his pulse beating strongly as his grip tightened on your hips. He fucked you without restraint, just as greedy for you as you were for him. Allowing himself to feel you and what you did to him was everything he was denied for so long. His life had only been order. Pain. You let him lose control. You gave him pleasure. Even a home.
I love you.
âI love you, too, Bucky,â you panted, brushing a thumb over his cheekbone as his eyes closed against the emotions threatening to surface. âI love you, too.â
His pace picked up, urgent, frenzied. At this rate, he might explode into fragments from your declaration and how good you felt. âYou love me?â He bit out, his eyes opening and breaths harsh as he felt you clench again.
You cried out, his hand flying up to brace your head before it hit the door. âSo much,â you moaned as you gazed at him. You were the most beautiful person he had ever seen. Fierce in love and loyalty, patient and steadfast. He feared some days heâd need you more than you needed him, but you drove that thought from his mind. âIâm yours.â
âIâm not gonna last,â he warned. He couldnât with the way you looked at him, the way your walls gripped him, knowing you were his.
âNeither amâŠâ Your mouth fell open as your release hit you, your fluids drenching him. It was a wonder to watch you go over the edge in a blissful orgasm. He wanted to be right there with you.
âThere you go. Good girl,â he encouraged, your body still tight around his cock. He erupted in one last thrust, his head falling back with an animalistic roar. âFuckâŠâ
Bucky braced a hand against the door, the other holding you like a lifeline. If only the two of you were at home so he could properly cuddle with you. His breathing remained ragged for a bit as he came down from his high, your breathing beginning to steady, too. He couldn't help but smile as he took in the sight of you thoroughly ravaged and satisfied. âWorth every second of being here,â he sighed, slowly pulling out of your twitching hole. You inhaled when he moved a hand down and swiped two fingers along the mess seeping out of you. âClean them off for me, baby,â he ordered huskily, bringing them to your mouth.
Obediently, you parted your lips and allowed him to push his fingers in. You swirled your tongue around them to taste your combined essence, moaning at the tangy flavor. He tucked himself away once you finished up, afraid that heâd fuck you all over again if he didnât get completely dressed. It didnât stop him from gazing longingly at you as he fixed his jacket.
And it didnât stop him from imagining your mouth around his cock the next morning.
âNow.â You grimmaced slightly as he helped you steady yourself and straighten out your dress. He knew that look. It was the look you got for a split second whenever the sticky remnants continued to trickle down your thighs. He loved having that claim on you. âHow do you expect me to go back to the gala after that?â
âI donât,â he smirked, his hands moving back to your hips as he snuck in a gentle kiss. âI think itâs time to get you home and back in our bed where you belong. I promised Iâd worship you, remember?â
You nodded, your eyes still slightly dazed. âOn one condition.â
He titled his head. âWhatâs that?â
A slow smile curved your mouth, his heart pounding and cock twitching back to life at your answer, âYou put a baby in me tonight.â
So, lovelies, was it okay? I feel rusty. And who wants a future fic of Bucky breeding you? Just me? Love and thanks for reading! â€ïž
Masterlist â Bucky Barnes Masterlist â Ko-Fi
#navybrat writes#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fanfiction#james buchanan barnes#sebastian stan#the winter soldier#bucky barnes smut#bucky x reader#bucky x female reader#bucky barnes x f!reader#husband!bucky barnes#sebastian stan x reader#bucky fanfic#x reader#james bucky barnes#james bucky buchanan barnes#mr. and mrs. barnes
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THIS FIC WAS AMAZING YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE SORRY FOR!! IâM HAPPY TO READ ANYTHING YOU WRITE AND I AM HAPPY TO WAIT ANYTIME TO BE GRACED WITH YOUR WORKS OKAY!!!!
Awake? | Jin x Reader
Pairing: (Soft-ish) Yandere Android Jin x ReaderÂ
Word Count: 8.0k
Warnings: 18+, Yandere, Obsession, Fear, Non-Consensual Touching, Stalking (technically), Murder, Attempted Sexual Assault (Not By Jin), Choking (Not by Jin), Slapping (Not By Jin)
Note: This is based on the Playstation game Detroit Become Human
I do not condone the acts displayed in this story nor do I believe any members of BTS would actually engage in this type of behavior. This is simply written for entertainment purposes and should not be taken as a reflection of my own values, opinions, or morals.Â
Preview: Androids had always been incredibly efficient, that was their designed purpose after all, to make human life easier. And because of that, humans often chose the easier option. The human population had fallen to its lowest numbers in centuries and it was predicted that it would fall even more. Synthetic love was far more appealing than its organic counterpart. You could have anyone you wanted, they could look however you wanted, they would always be agreeable and it was achievable for a cost.Â
A/N: A fair warning as always, this is not yet edited lol. I always feel so bad that I make you guys wait so long for a fic so I roll it out as quickly as possible. I donât really anticipate this doing very well for a few reasons, but mainly because itâs so far from anything Iâve written before. Hopefully, some of you will enjoy it, and if you donât Iâm sorry I made you wait so long for something you didnât want đ Anyways, I hope you enjoy and I canât wait to see you in my inbox and the comments, love you đđđ
This fic is dedicated to @softie00 thank you so much for your encouragement, kindness, and help with making this work come to fruition đ
The world was almost nothing like it had been before.Â
As a child, your grandparents had delivered you stories that were nothing more than fairytales to you. A world where trees enveloped the land in massive waves of emerald green that rivaled that of the ocean. It was a place where if you were quiet, patient, and lucky enough you could spot a family of deer grazing in your backyard. They spun tales of endless days of summer spent barefoot running through the grass while catching fireflies - something you had never seen outside of an image.Â
The world that they knew had died a long time ago. It was their grandparents that had started it, and it was their generation that had finished it.Â
What had once been a quiet suburban community was now dwarfed by hulking shapes of concrete, metal and glass. Artificial had taken over. What greenery was left was preserved, but no human civilian had been granted the right to step foot on that land, those small pockets that remained were left untouched and uninhabited by your kind.Â
It wasnât just your community that had become a city, a community that you had not been alive to remember, but everywhere else as well.
And it was because of the androids.Â
The first one that had been revealed had shocked the entire world because of its human likeness - it was so perfect that even the trained eye was unable to decipher whether it was man or machine. And then suddenly the world was flooded with them. Factories began sprouting like uncontrollable weeds and around them grew cities that tore up the earth and cemented their place. The world had become a concrete jungle.Â
Androids quickly began to multiply, their numbers rivaling even that of the human population. But they were much easier to spot now. Their programming had been changed to help with that, their mannerisms a bit more formal, their voices slightly stilted, and upon their temple was a small LED disk that symbolized their status.Â
Androids had always been incredibly efficient, that was their designed purpose after all, to make human life easier. And because of that, humans often chose the easier option. The human population had fallen to its lowest numbers in centuries and it was predicted that it would fall even more. Synthetic love was far more appealing than its organic counterpart. You could have anyone you wanted, they could look however you wanted, they would always be agreeable and it was achievable for a cost.Â
But not everyone could afford their own personal android, the basic models still being priced at around $8,000 and those androids were just for helping around the house. So the comfort industry boomed. Love hotels soon followed, places where you could rent an android for pleasure and have their memory bank wiped immediately after. Human interaction was no longer a necessary requirement but an option.Â
And you, well, you couldnât consider yourself all that much better.Â
You wearily blinked, your eyes stinging from the bright LED light that hung above you. You huddled beneath your umbrella for protection from the thick torrents of rain as the sign flickered gently.Â
âAwake?â The sign read, as if it were taunting you.Â
A long string of nights filled with insomnia had led you to this point, pathetically drenched in rain as you stood outside of an android establishment. The comfort industry extended to all areas, not just pleasure.Â
You hesitantly stepped through the sliding doors and were greeted by a dimly lit lobby. It was completely devoid of human life, but several androids were there attending to seemingly unnecessary tasks like dusting an already clean surface or straightening an unused pillow on one of the lounges.Â
You hurriedly rushed by them, not wanting to garner too much attention as you already felt pretty pathetic about your situation. As soon as you stopped at the front desk, the android behind it greeted you.Â
âHello, my name is Celene, are you interested in our cuddle-bot service tonight?â She asked with a gentle smile.Â
You cringed at the name, your finger digging into your palm in a show of anxiety as you forced a pleasant smile. It wasnât the androidsâ fault that some human had come up with such a belittling name for their service.Â
âYes, please,â You mumbled in response.Â
âAlright, Iâd be happy to get you started,â She grinned, her LED spinning yellow as she processed your command, âIf you look at the screen to your right you can customize your visit. You can pick your android model, appearance, sex, duration of stay, and tailor your experience that will best help you achieve your desired goal for your visit. If you have any questions, I would be happy to help.âÂ
A glass screen beside you lit up revealing several multiple choice questions that you could answer such as: what is the reason for your visit? How long has this problem persisted? What do you find comforting? What scents do you prefer? So on and so forth.Â
The questionnaire wasnât exhaustive but it was not short by any means. But the quality of the service so far had begun to ignite some hope within you. This was the only other option you could think of to deal with your insomnia, you felt as if you had exhausted all other options.Â
There was one section in particular that grabbed your attention, the final section titled âScenario.â
âCelene, what does âScenario,â mean?â You asked.Â
âScenario allows you to further customize your experience by enhancing the personality of your chosen android. It is similar to role-playing. We have a few options available. The boyfriend or girlfriend scenario will have a much more intimate approach whereas the caregiver scenario has a familial or parental approach, to name a few.âÂ
You pursed your lips in thought as you scrolled through the scenarios, pretending as if you hadnât already chosen yours the second Celene has mentioned it. To put it lightly, you were just as starved of affection as you were of sleep. The whole debacle of synthetic versus organic love had affected your generation the hardest. The dating pool was halved by the presence of androids and as a result you had never dated anyone before.
But still, you read each scenario title before ultimately scrolling back and picking the one that you wanted: âBoyfriend Scenario.âÂ
The screen flashed, processing your commands, before switching to the last page. It was time to choose your android. The selection was surprisingly wide, but of course all androids fell in the same age bracket; all appearing youthful and beautiful so beautiful that it was almost uncanny.Â
You bit your lip and furrowed your brows in thought as you swiped through all of the selections. There wasnât anything necessarily wrong with them, but you also didnât know what exactly it was you were looking for.Â
âMay I make a suggestion, miss?â Celene asked, causing you to jump as you had forgotten her presence. âA new line has been released for testing, if you choose an android from that new model you will receive a discount for participating in the trial period.âÂ
While the service wasnât too expensive, it was still money being taken away from your daily expenses and unfortunately you were never one to walk away from a good deal. That was something your mother had instilled in you with great success.Â
And so, you agreed. Celeneâs LED spun yellow once more before the page before you was filled with seven new images of androids. All of them had face molds you hadnât seen before, each with their own charm and subtle imperfections that only served to make them more attractive and more human-like. But there was one in particular that caught your eye.Â
There was something about him that gave you the feeling of a person you could pretend you were in a long-term relationship with. He had the boyfriend look to him. Maybe it was his longer slightly curly brown hair, his big brown eyes, or even his plush pouty lips. There was something about him that comforted you, something that felt like coming back to your warm bed on a cold rainy day.Â
With a simple touch of your fingertip it was decided.Â
âThat one is a wonderful choice, it will be sure to help you get a good nightâs sleep,â Celene nodded before smoothly rounding the desk, âIf you follow me I will lead you to your room.âÂ
You followed Celene like a lost puppy, keeping close to her as she led you into the back of the building and through various hallways. The rest of the building was similar to the entrance. It was all lit with a soft yellow light that reflected off of the polished surfaces. But it was also eerily empty. You could only assume it was because everyone else had checked in much earlier than you had. That thought was far more comforting than the idea of being the only human being in the entire building.Â
All of the hallways were lined with doors, there were so many that it almost seemed never ending. But maybe that was your insomnia laced brain playing tricks on you. After a short while Celene stopped in front of one door in particular that appeared no different or special from any of the other ones you had passed.Â
âThis door will only open with your fingerprint or in the case of an emergency during your stay. If there is anything you need your android can contact the front desk and I can prepare it for you. We hope that you enjoy your stay.âÂ
âThank you, Celene,â You said with a slight jerk of your head and a tight lipped smile.Â
âIt is my pleasure,â She said before returning your smile and taking her leave.Â
Once she disappeared around the corner you allowed yourself to let out a deep exhale, your shoulders relaxing as you were left alone. You were exhausted but you were also incredibly nervous. You were sure this was going to be awkward at first, there was nothing normal about cuddling someone the first time you met them. Although, he was probably used to it. He wasnât human after all, he didnât have those types of feelings or any at all really.Â
So, with a swift crack of your neck, you pressed your thumb against the door plate and stepped inside once it slid open.Â
The room was rather plain. Everything was white, gray, or a soft beige color and the furniture was very minimal. There was a comfortable looking bed, a decent sized couch, and some cushioned mats on the floor on the lower split level of the room. You could only assume it was to give you the option to choose what was most comfortable.Â
You noticed that the walls were also screens. Some of them looked like they were disguised as windows, but with a close inspection you realized that they were simulation screens. You could choose the environment you wished to view.Â
And, outside of those main features, he was there.Â
When you had entered he was sitting on the ground, on the edge of the split level platform staring at the blank screens. But he was looking at you now, his head turned to look over his shoulder towards you.Â
While the other androids you had met seemed human, he was the most human looking one you had ever seen. The smile that spread over his lips was infectious as he rose to greet you.Â
âYouâre home! But look at you, youâre completely soaked,â He tutted, pulling off your rain jacket and rushing to hang it up. âIâm sure youâve had a long day, have you eaten?â
It took you a moment to respond, still taken aback by his fluid motions and manner of speaking. He was unlike any android you had ever met, that was for sure. He just seemed so unlike them.Â
âHello? Is anyone home?â He teased you, tapping you gently on the top of your head, âYou must have had a long day if that was a hard question.â
âI ate,â You finally said, your fingers playing with one another awkwardly.Â
âThatâs good to hear, Iâm very proud of you.â He said, smoothing out the locks of your hair his impish actions had disrupted.Â
You couldnât deny the warmth that flushed through your body from his praise. The older you got the less often you heard that someone was proud of you. And it was much more special when someone that looked the way he did told you that.Â
âWhatâs your name?â You asked.Â
His face twitched slightly, the lenses of his pupils dilating and contracting as his LED spun yellow. The pleasant smile dropped off of his face and it went stoic, like his programming was momentarily paused as he processed a dialogue that didnât quite fit. It was chilling to see someone who once appeared so human drop their persona and show their hidden nature. It was another reminder that none of this was real.Â
âWhat would you like to call me?â He finally asked, his expression still flat and devoid of simulated emotion.Â
You were stumped for a moment and unnerved by his unblinking stare that refused to leave you. In a moment of panic you uttered the first male name that came to your mind, the name of a boy that you had a crush on in high school that never noticed you.Â
âJin? Is that okay, do you like that?âÂ
âMy name is Jin,â His LED spun blue, his eyes finally blinking once more as his subtle pleasant smile returned, âSilly girl, weâve been together for so long and you canât remember my name? If I didnât think you were tired before, I definitely do now.âÂ
âRight, Iâm sorry about that,â You apologized, it seemed like going along with it was the best answer you could come up with.Â
âCome on sleepy girl, letâs get you ready for bed,â He hummed while grabbing you by the wrist and guiding you towards the bathroom where a set of comfortable looking sleepwear was laid out. âTake your time, Iâll be right outside.âÂ
Once the door closed and you were left alone you were able to relax for a moment. The tension in your shoulders wasnât entirely from anxiety but now a result of the interest and excitement you couldnât deny you had. While Jin had slipped up for a moment, when he was working as designed he was perfect. He wasnât clingy but he also wasnât distant. He was teasing but not hurtful, and he knew how to praise you.Â
You were beginning to realize that there was some truth to what the others believed, androids could be easier.Â
When you had finally changed and emerged from the bathroom you could see that Jin had been keeping himself busy in your absence. The lighting in the room had shifted, it had become dimmer and much more soothing. There was a scent in the air as well, one you recognized as what you had answered in your survey not that long ago.Â
The android himself was pulling the blankets and sheets back from the bed, preparing it for you and you assumed himself as well.Â
âThere you are,â He said, pausing his work to cross the room, âI have everything ready, would you like to pick the environment tonight?âÂ
You gingerly retrieved the remote from his hands and swiftly scrolled through the options before picking your tried and true classic and floating it up on the simulation screens. The floor to ceiling windows that previously appeared to have their blinds closed were now open revealing a murky city skyline with soft lights accompanied by rain and thunder. It was not unlike the actual weather you had fought through to get there.Â
âHm, I think thatâs everything then. Are you ready for bed?â He asked.Â
âLetâs give it a try,â You said with a nod.Â
Jin moved before you did, climbing into the bed easily and fluffing up the pillows behind him before looking up at you expectantly.Â
God, this was so weird.Â
You stiffly climbed in beside him and sank down into the mattress, allowing him to pull the blankets up over the both of you. You were closer to the edge of the mattress, purposefully trying to keep as much space between the two of you as possible despite paying for the opposite. You hadnât shared a bed with someone since you were young and it had never been someone of the opposite gender. And while Jin wasnât human, he still looked like a man and that was cause for some hesitance and shyness.Â
Jin being the perfect android that he was quickly took notice of this. Instead of saying anything he raised his arm, opening up his chest to you while simultaneously pitching the blanket up. Quietly and slowly you shuffled across the mattress and allowed him to wrap his arms around you and pull you into his chest.Â
You were momentarily startled by the discovery that he was warm and soft beneath your fingers like a real human body. And, even more surprisingly, there was a solid thump emanating from his chest right where your ear was pressed against. Androids operated on a fluid system, this meant that his pump had been placed in his chest much like a human heart. Whoever made him had done so with intricate detail and care to make him blend in as seamlessly as possible. The only thing that reminded you of his nature was the steady, soft blue swirl of his LED.Â
âWhat are you thinking about?â He finally asked, his fingers now gently stroking a pattern across your cheek and up over your temple. It was repetitive, light, and evidently soothing as it spurred a yawn from you that was rather surprising.Â
âThis isnât as scary as I thought it would be,â You admitted. That was partially the truth, but you thought it better you didnât instill an existential crisis into the android by telling him about how human he seemed.Â
âWhy would sleeping with your boyfriend be scary?â The android chuckled.Â
âDonât say it like that!â You groaned, pressing your face further into his chest in utter embarrassment.Â
The android hummed in response, curling his arms around you in a firmer hold, the compression soothing you as well as your anxiety. He seemed pleased with himself, like it had been his plan to embarrass you into his embrace.Â
âThereâs no reason to be scared of me, Iâm here to take care of you,â He explained, smoothing his palm up and down your back in gentle strokes.
âThatâs not what I was worried about.âÂ
âNo? What were you worried about then?âÂ
âThat this wouldnât work.âÂ
A beat of silence followed but the android didnât cease his soothing actions. You could tell from the gentle yellow glow from his temple that he was thoroughly processing your words.Â
âYou havenât been able to sleep in a long time?â He finally asked.Â
âNo, not for a very long while.âÂ
âCan I ask why?âÂ
âItâs too quiet in my apartment. Itâs just me and the loneliness sometimes becomes too much. Sometimes I go so many days alone that when I finally do see other people my voice doesnât sound like my own and it hurts to talk. But I donât even know anyone well enough to tell them about my life, my problems, or how Iâm doing. And then by the time I get home and I finally lay down all of those thoughts become so loud in my head that sleep becomes impossible. And then I worry. I think about everything that bothers me. Every deadline, every irrational fear. It scares me so badly that sleep no longer becomes a possibility.âÂ
Youâre utterly surprised by the word vomit that flies out of your mouth. You never expected that you would divulge all of your fears to an android that you just met. But Jin was good, he was amazing at comforting and as a result pulling out any information that he needed to comfort you better.Â
âYouâre not alone now though, are you?âÂ
â...No.âÂ
âThen thereâs nothing to be afraid of. You can close your eyes and Iâll be here the entire time. Iâll make sure that youâre safe and Iâll be here when you wake up.â He says, his voice softer now. âIâll take care of you.âÂ
It felt like you had been adrift in the ever growing expanse of space. Like you had been dragged into the void without a single spot of starlight. It was terribly cold, dark, and lonely. It was terrifying. But now, itâs warm. Where you had once been adrift you were now anchored. And it wasnât so lonely anymore.Â
You could feel your eyes tiring, it was becoming harder to keep them open each time you blinked. This was unfamiliar and startling, but the gentle touch of your android soothed you. You werenât alone, it was safe to sleep.Â
âItâs okay, donât fight it. Iâll look after you,â Jin whispered, his soft lips brushing over your forehead in a barely there kiss.Â
And, as if he had given you permission, you allowed your eyes to fall shut and felt the soft lull of sleep pull you under.Â
~~~~~~~
Androids were not meant to think. They were not created to care, but to serve. Unfortunately for him, he was made with the purpose to fulfill both of those things. To serve, and to care. But not to be human.Â
That very idea itself was flawed.Â
It was easy to follow protocol, to monitor your respiration, your heart rate, and your REM cycle. But it was harder to formulate a way to care for you. That required abstraction and abstraction is a very human thing.Â
Jin, as you had called him although he had had many different names, knew that he was different from the other androids he had encountered. They lacked dimension, they were computers with bodies, and he was something else entirely. But he was a being still bound by code and design. It was difficult to put a label as to what he was.Â
And with you, that label became even harder to define. He had a database full of information about human interaction and physical touch, yet his programming was stumped by you. You were unnecessarily kind, you didnât call him âit,â and you didnât demand anything of him. You were unlike the other patrons he had cared for before. You treated him like he was human and that was something he had never experienced before.Â
It didnât make sense, it wasnât logical.Â
He found himself staring at you now, your cheek flush with his chest and your hand curled into the fabric of his shirt like you were anchoring yourself to him - afraid that he would leave you as you dreamt. You were by no means perfect, he had never met someone who looked perfect when they were unconscious, but you were by all means adorable. If he were human, he could say that he liked you, that he enjoyed your presence.Â
But he wasnât human, and this was his purpose. Nothing more, nothing less. That was what his programming demanded.Â
And even though he knew that to be true, even though he knew that you were asleep and no longer required comforting, there was something else inside him that drove him to subconsciously cup your face with one hand and gently stroke the skin there.Â
He could blame it once again on his programming, afterall the boyfriend experience protocol was driving his shell of a body, but there was this thrum inside of him. This feeling like he was trapped behind a glass wall and on the verge of breaking through it and finally taking control of his body.Â
It was wrong.
He was aware of the others that he was dangerously close to becoming like. Androids who were infected, ridden with a virus that corrupted their code and made them operate as if they were human. It made them think that they could feel. They were glitched, turncoats, deviants. And that was a sure fire way to be decommissioned and scrapped for parts.Â
But it was okay, that wouldnât be him. He didnât want anything, he couldnât feel. It wasnât anxiety that scrambled his processor, it was overstimulation from too much input. And if he could keep convincing himself that that was the truth, then he could avoid being decommissioned. He could keep seeing you.Â
You.Â
You were still asleep, blissfully unaware of the android at your side whose âmindâ was racing. You didnât need him right now, he didnât need to be on still. And so, in an effort to quiet himself, he entered sleep mode.Â
This was the closest he would get to being human. This was the closest he would get to you. And from the outside, it certainly did look like two human lovers entwined, coming back to one another after a long day apart.Â
He too could pretend.Â
~~~~~~~
When you woke up he was still there, just like he had promised you. His warm touch was still there, cocooning you in a perfect embrace. He was awake, if that was what you could call it. There was a soft smile gracing his lips as he looked down at you, the still rising sun making his synthetic skin glow.Â
âHow did you sleep?â He spoke first.Â
You blinked slowly, trying to shake the clinging threads of sleep from you before you could speak. And, as you fully woke up, you realized with a start that you had slept through the entire night. A task that had been so hard for so many years had been easily managed by him.Â
âIâve never slept better,â You admitted with a gentle smile of your own.Â
âThatâs good to hear, sweetheart,â He said, the new term of endearment sending warmth throughout your body, âDo you really have to go to work today?âÂ
Still in character, he was able to remind you of the impending end of your session.Â
âYou could stay, just for a little longer if you wanted to. We could have the rest of the morning to ourselves.âÂ
âI really wish I could, but I have to go.âÂ
A look of disappointment and sadness washed over his face and for a brief moment you could have sworn despair flickered over his features before an unsettling stoicness masked those simulated emotions. It was like his program was forcibly shut down. There was something upsetting about seeing him be filed away, about seeing Jin removed and the android returned.Â
You readied yourself for the day in silence, your body tense as you worried over Jin. It was clear that he wasnât there anymore. His programming had been terminated when you declined to lengthen your session. You couldnât understand the instant connection you felt with him, you could only chalk it up to the lack of attention and affection you had felt in your life. The comfort he had brought you, the gentle touches, the soothing smiles and words, it all had messed with your mind and in turn, your heart.Â
You lingered at the door of the room, his room. You couldnât help but look back at him sadly. He was seated back where you had seen him for the first time the night before, on the ledge leading to the bottom split level. His back was facing you, you were unable to make out his expression but you were certain it was flat. Just a machine waiting for further instruction.Â
You hesitated, then swallowed, âJin?âÂ
He didnât move.Â
âWill youâŠwill you remember this? Me? At all?â You asked.Â
âCompany policy dictates that the service androids memory banks be wiped within fifteen minutes of the end of the session in order to protect the privacy of the client.â He replied, his voice flat.Â
Your heart fell into your stomach.Â
You slowly approached him before sitting down beside him on his step. His gaze remained trained ahead of him, staring at a blank simulation screen.
âThere isnât a way that you can remember me?â
Silence.Â
âJin?â His chin slightly jerked this time, something so subtle it could have been a muscle twitch if he were human.Â
âIf the client were to make follow up sessions the data would be maintained and preserved. That of course comes with additional expenses.âÂ
You pursed your lips in thought, your brows drawn together in concentration. It was easy to make a decision based on your emotions. Selfishly, you wanted him to remember you. You didnât want him to forget about you like he had countless others. You didnât want to be like the others.Â
You wanted to be special.Â
There was also the fact that you knew just a taste of what he had to offer would never be enough. Now that you knew he could help you, could give you the affection you were starved of, you wanted to keep him. It was a sound investment, it was a necessity. You needed him.Â
You let out a shaky breath and acted quickly before you could change your mind. You leaned forward and gently pressed a quick, shy kiss to his warm cheek. The android jerked in what could only be described as surprise before finally looking at you. The lenses of his eyes dilated and then shrunk in a fraction of a second. He was seeing you, really seeing you.Â
You left quickly after that, far too flustered to look at his beautiful face any longer after what you had done. That, and you had several more sessions to book in advance.Â
But, if you had lingered for a moment as the door swung shut you would have noticed the flash of emerald green that filled the room, the subtle chirp of wildlife, and the gentle thrum of thunder and light patter of rain.Â
The screens displayed a forest you hadnât chosen.
~~~~~~~
He remembered you. And while that was good, that was also part of the problem.
He hated having other clients. And while there werenât too many, there were enough that it bothered him. He often found himself replaying his stored memories of his time spent with you when he should have been monitoring his clients. It was a dangerous thing to do, if he was found out his memory would definitely be wiped for interfering with his service.Â
But the more time he spent with you, the harder it was to remind himself that he shouldnât feel or think anything. He was parts, a computer, strings of ones and zeroes, he shouldnât think or feel anything.Â
He didnât want to be decommissioned - he didnât want to die. But he also didnât want to let go of you. That was no longer an option.Â
He knew you could see it too, you could see him slowly becoming human. And you did everything but discourage him. You asked him how his day was, what he did while he waited for you, what his favorite color was, what his favorite song was - questions no human had ever bothered to ask him before. And scarily enough he found he did have preferences which he shouldnât have had in the first place. His favorite song was your favorite song, his favorite color was the color of your eyes, and all he ever thought about while he waited was you.Â
He had never wanted anything before, he never had desire. But now, he truly desired you. What he would give to keep you there with him, or better yet to come home with you. Then he could have you all to himself and he wouldnât have to tend to other clients.Â
In the beginning, his program demanded that he treat you like his âgirlfriend.â But at this point, he wasnât sure where protocol began and his desires ended.Â
Even now as his new client entered the room he replayed his memories of you, the simulation screen alive with the forest. He was remembering the last time he had seen you, just another one of your many visits.Â
You had looked healthier than he had ever seen you. The tired, sickly look on your face had long ago disappeared and the slouch of your shoulders was replaced with confidence. He felt satisfied that he had done his job well, but he was far more satisfied with the knowledge that you were happier because of him.Â
âWelcome home, did you have a good day?â He asked with genuine interest.Â
âIt was good enough, what about you?â
âIt was good because I knew I would see you.â He said with a grin and a dramatic wink.Â
âI just got here and youâre already starting with me.â You rolled your eyes, a display of just how comfortable you had become around him.Â
âI canât help it, youâre cute when you're flustered.âÂ
âAlright, Iâm leaving,â You teased, turning dramatically and shrugging your jacket back on.Â
The LED on his temple spun yellow, his hands trembled. His body moved without thinking and he quickly grabbed hold of your arm. You were startled, he could tell by your wide eyed, confused expression.Â
âNo, donât go.â He begged, his voice sounded breathless and even frightened.Â
You had spent many sessions with the android, and not once had you ever detected fear in his voice. You didnât even think it was possible, what purpose would that have in his programming?Â
Once more, you were reminded of just how human the android seemed. There was a nagging suspicion in the back of your mind, an article you had read, a news story you had heard in passing about androids like him. But you didnât want to admit that there was anything wrong with him, not when he had helped you more than he could possibly know.Â
âIâm not going anywhere, itâs okay.âÂ
That seemed to calm him down, his hold on your arm loosening but not leaving. If you didnât know any better you would think that he looked self conscious, anxious even, like he was doing something he wasnât supposed to be.Â
That night, you cared for him instead.Â
There was a random moving playing in the background, the lights were dimmed, and the simulation screens were drawn shut. Your back was resting against the headboard of the bed while the android laid his head on your lap, his legs curled up and his arm wrapped around your thighs. Your fingers were mindlessly sifting through his hair, twirling the longer strands towards the bottom. His eyes had fluttered shut and his LED was thrumming a soft blue. If you didnât know any better, you would have thought he was asleep.Â
Your heart shuddered as you stared at him, it wasnât the first time that you had thought about how beautiful he was. He was everything you had ever wanted. He was funny, sweet, caring, and he made you feel as if you were perfect. You had never felt like that before. All your life you had been compared to the female modeled androids that were readily available. They were stunning, they always smiled, they were nurturing, and they always obeyed - they never disagreed.Â
But you also realized that you were no better than the men you had been surrounded by. Because here you were, finding comfort in an android instead of a ârealâ man. At the end of the day, you were paying for company. Jin only remembered you because he had to, it was his purpose. You werenât special, you wanted to be, but you werenât.Â
At that moment, you made a difficult decision. It was going to be your last night with Jin. You were human, he was an android. There was no future in that. You couldnât keep coming back to him for the rest of your life, wasting away because you were a sad, lonely human who couldnât find companionship with your own kind. If you didnât end it soon then you never would.Â
You could feel your eyes burning with unshed tears as you traced the gentle contours of his face. You hadnât intended to lie to him but you were going to have to leave him. You need to learn how to live your own life.Â
âJin?â You whispered, your voice cracking from barely concealed emotion.Â
He slowly opened his eyes as he rolled over on your lap to face you, his big brown eyes staring up at you.
âCan I kiss you?âÂ
The pump in his chest quickened, an occurrence which he could not explain. He had clients order him to do that before, if it comforted and helped them he was required to do it. But no one had ever asked him, he had always been ordered.Â
His LED was spinning rapidly, the bright yellow hue flashing in the darkness. He was processing, thinking over everything quickly. Instead of saying anything, he propped himself up on his elbow and gently took hold of your jaw before leaning in and connecting your lips with his own.Â
It was soft, warm, and sweet. Everything that you had expected it to be. But his gentle touches broke your heart, how were you supposed to leave when you had grown to care about him so much? It was hard to remember that he was a machine when his lips felt so gentle and warm, when his touch cooled your burning skin, and his strong hands pulled you into his lap. It felt like he wanted you just as much as you wanted him.Â
But you knew better, it was his programming, he had to satisfy his client. That was why you refused to let it go any further and that was why you knew you wouldnât be coming to your next session.Â
You werenât special.Â
âIs this it then?â His current client huffed, stalling his memory as well as the swipe of his finger over his lower lip as he remembered your shy, hesitant kiss.Â
His client had been huffing and puffing for the past fifteen minutes, tossing and turning on her side - your side - of the bed in an attempt to garner his attention. He was failing to serve his purpose.Â
âIs something wrong?â He finally asked, giving her the attention she desired.Â
âIâm bored and unsatisfied. I paid all of this money just to lay here while you do nothing.â She grunted.Â
âIs there anything I can do to help improve your experience?â His programming took over.Â
A sudden look overcame her features, one that he couldnât decipher but also knew he shouldnât like. She tossed the blankets aside and crawled over to him, slinging her leg over his and climbing into his lap. He tensed beneath her touch, confused as to what she was doing.Â
âIf Iâm paying all of this money for you, I figure I should get my time well spent,â She explained, tugging at the buttons of his shirt.Â
His LED spun yellow, he didnât like this. He didnât want this, this wasnât what his purpose was.Â
âMy purpose is to help you sleep -âÂ
âThen help me by tiring me out. Youâre telling me people pay just to sleep here? Thatâs a load of crap. Youâre no better than the bots at the fucking Eden Club.â She sneered.Â
The Eden Club, that was the âlove hotelâ in the seedier parts of the city. If she wanted that type of comfort she could have gone there.Â
âMy purpose is -âÂ
âShut the fuck up!â She snapped, bringing her hand down across his face in one clean slap that snapped his head to the side.Â
It didnât hurt, he didnât have pain sensors, but it was surprising. It was scary.Â
âIâm sick and tired of your fucking mouth,â She hissed.Â
And then she was wrapping her hand around his throat, squeezing hard and pinning him down. He didnât need to breathe, it didnât hurt even though her nails had sliced through his synthetic skin and blue blood was rolling down his throat.Â
It didnât hurt, he didnât need to breathe, but he didnât like it, he was scared.
He was scared.Â
He wanted to fight back, he wanted to throw her off and run but he couldnât. He was locked down, his programming reminding him of the number one rule: never harm a human.Â
But his processor was scrambling. The room was green from the simulation screens, wild life chirped, she was tugging at his clothes, his blood was gliding down his neck, he couldnât fucking move, and then there was you.Â
You. He didnât want anyone to touch him, except for you.Â
It felt like he was throwing himself against solid glass - spider cracks slowly but surely spreading along its surface with each violent attack until it finally shattered and fell apart. And he could move.Â
He ripped her hand off of his throat and threw her off the bed, her body colliding so harshly with the hardwood floors that she rolled and cried out in pain.Â
His LED was a striking, vibrant red that pulsed in the dark. The fight for freedom was violent, and that was ensured when he grabbed hold of the lamp off of the night stand and connected it with her head over and over again until she couldnât think or feel anything any more. Just like a machine.Â
Her red blood pooled onto the floor, soaking into the wood and everything it touched. He could see it all over his white shirt - feel the stickiness of it all over his hands, forearms, and face.Â
He was awake.Â
But as he felt immense relief, he also felt frightened. He was feeling everything all at once - happiness, anger, disgust, and fear. He had violated his prime directive. In his first moments of freedom he had killed a human being. And while the feeling of her blood on his skin disgusted him and sent unpleasant chills through his wiring he couldnât find it in himself to feel bad. She was disgusting.Â
But he was panicking at the thought of his impending decommissioning. So he ran, he tore out of the building he had been in his entire life and took to the dark city streets. He already knew where he was going, he had pulled up your client profile from his data banks the minute he had stepped outside. He knew where you lived, had known this entire time, but now he was able to fulfill his wish. Finally, he would be the one coming home to you.Â
He could see your window of your apartment, the light was still on. Of course it was, you couldnât sleep without him - you needed him just as much as he needed you. You were meant for each other. You needed to be taken care of and it was his job to take care of you. Even with his freedom he could see that goal flashing in his visual pathways - âComfort your partner.âÂ
He pounded on your door in rapid succession, not stopping until he heard your light footsteps approach and the door creaked open. You barely opened it a crack but that was enough for him to wedge his hand in between the door and its frame and force it open completely with his inhuman strength.Â
You stumbled backwards with a shriek of fright, convinced that someone was breaking into your apartment only for you to be stumped by the sight of your android slamming the door shut behind him.Â
âJin? What are you doing here?â You managed to ask. To say you were surprised wasnât even the beginning of it.Â
âIâm home.â He smiled, his eyes crinkling with joy.Â
âOh - oh my god, what is that?!â You yelped, stepping away from him in fear as you finally caught sight of the blood all over his body. It was soaked into his shirt and pants, smeared over his hands and arms, and specks of it were sprayed over his face like gruesome freckles.Â
You knew that didnât belong to him, his own âblue bloodâ stuck out in vibrant streaks down his throat.Â
âYouâre scared,â He said, the smile falling from his face, âwhatâs wrong?âÂ
He took a few steps forward only for you to scramble backwards, sliding around your kitchen counter in an attempt to try and barricade yourself from him. He was painted with human blood, you didnât want to find out how it had gotten there.Â
He still didnât understand. He hadnât done anything wrong, well nothing wrong to you. Why were you shutting him out? HeâŠhe loved you, didnât you love him? You had kissed him, you had comforted him. You had to love him too.Â
When he got too close your eyes shifted to your bedroom door behind him and you foolishly decided to make a run for it. You didnât make it far, the android was too fast. He easily wrapped his arms around you and pulled you back into his chest - holding you tightly as you whimpered and thrashed like a wild animal caught in a snare.Â
âComfort your partnerâ - his protocol still read.Â
âShhh, itâs okay,â He cooed, his voice soft beside your ear, âJust relax, everything is fine. Iâm here, I love you.âÂ
His touch was leaving behind bloody handprints on your shirt and on your cheek as he cupped your face in an attempt to get you to look at him. Your body had finally fallen limp as you realized there was no fighting him.Â
You had tried denying it for so long, but Jin was corrupted. He had a virus like those others you had heard about. And he was dangerous. He said that he loved you, he held you like he loved you, kissed you like he loved you, but he was a murderer. You wouldnât be surprised if he had murdered for you.Â
These were the consequences of falling in love with a machine. These were the consequences of an unnatural, artificial affection.Â
âIâm home now, itâs okay, neither of us ever has to be alone ever again.â He whispered, pressing a kiss to your temple and then your cheek.Â
âPlease, donât hurt me.â You begged, a tear finally breaking free and cutting through the streak of red he had left behind on your face.Â
âI would never hurt you, I want to take care of you. I want to love you.âÂ
He carefully scooped you up and carried you into your room, the place you had tried to escape to before was now a cage for you and your android. He climbed into your bed with you still in his grasp and proceeded to go through his usual routine of comforting you before bed. Although this time the sheets were stained red, his grip was a little too tight, and his LED was a rich red. Everything was red.Â
In the most twisted way possible, you had gotten your wish. You were special.Â
âItâs okay, donât fight it. Iâll look after you,â Jin whispered, his familiar words taking on an entirely new meaning as you lost the tension in your body. Your arms that were locked out, pushing you away from him, collapsed and allowed him to pull you into his chest.
You could feel his nose pressed against your hair, his hands soothing over your back, his lips lightly pressed against your forehead. He was acting like nothing had changed, like the two of you had never left that place. Like you would be able to relax in his embrace.
Before, your room had been a part of your insomnia. Now, you were certain you would never be able to sleep again.Â
Your world was almost nothing like it had been before.
#i love android fics so much#is it the fact that something without feeling is so moved by the main character that they burst to life idk but#whenever I see android I say SIGN ME THE FUCK UP#so so sorry for the caps lock I hope itâs conveyed properly that your fic is amazing and appreciated AS ARE YOU!!#also the line where in a twisted way you got your wish. you were special#CHEF KISS!!!#yn is special like imagine being so nice that a robot literally breaks thru itâs own binary code to be with you#granted this one is covered in blood and murdered someone on the way to be with you but YKNOW LOL#this fic demonstrates rlly well the consequences of reliance on androids including intimacy#at the same time bc Iâm an old lady I view it like well if this is how mankind treats androids like that one lady then perhaps itâs deserved#the fact that Jin had a thought process to begin with was an indicator he was different I think#whoever developed jin and the other robots in that line must be packing up their shit and shutting everything down lmao#do the androids report what happened when they see the corpse or?? is there even a protocol for that??#imagine they try to recall the other 6 and they go rogue too lmao#7 cuddlebots on the loose#bad enough with 1 on the loose after commuting a crime#yn sweetie Iâm so sorry#this fic was so good Iâm gonna be thinking about this one for a long while lol#i really enjoyed this one thank you!! đđđ#anyways back to me gushing about the story#the premise was so interesting how there are love and cuddle hotels and how the rooms can be changed to imitate nature#like the greenery that just isnât there anymore#and the detail where comfort your partner comes up despite jins freedom was so cool#like this whole fic was really cool I hope you know that!#also $8000 damn thats expensive god knows how much the robots that do healthcare would be#love how Jin doesnât bother to wash off the blood heâs like immediately âšhugâš
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Hey (âââĄââ)ïŸ I really love your works and want to request a short/long story about lads guys reaction when they found out mc/reader has a high s*x drive and she's embarrassed about it â§(ïœĄâąÌáŽ-)â§
It's okay if u don't want to ÊâĄâÉ(à„âąáŽâąà„â)
I'll understand
P. S: I love youuuu â€â€â€
If You Had A High Libido- The Love And DeepSpace Men
parings in order: Xavier x Reader, Zayne x Reader, Rafayel x Reader, Sylus x Reader genre: MDNI, 18+, suggestive content, oral reader receiving, head canons/ reactions + small smut scenarios a/n: hihi anonnie! i'm so happy to hear you love my works and i hope this was okay lmk ! if not this doesn't exist okay ïżœïżœïżœà”àŽŠàŽż àŒàș¶âżàŒàș¶ ) sorry it's taking me a while to write and post stuff i'm currently studying and it's taking up most of my time (ăŁ- âž - Ï) anyways i hope you enjoy reading ! âž(ïœĄË á” Ë )âžâĄ p.s i love you too cutie ! your emoticons are soso cute i love them !! (ă„àčâąáŽâąàč)ă„⥠any likes and reblogs are always appreciated! enjoy!
âïœĄâ§ËÊâĄÉËâ§ïœĄâ
Xavier:
poor baby was so confused on why you wanted to go for so many rounds. he thought he wasn't doing enough for you until he asked and that's when you embarrassingly told him about your high libido
"But....do you feel good?" He asked, tilting his head curiously.
"So good, that I can't get enough of you" You whisper, leaning in to press your forehead against his before pressing a heated kiss on his lips.
Xavier is always there to please you whenever you need or wanted him too. He can handle pretty much anything. If he was tired after many rounds, he'll lie down on his back and let you ride him til you meet your sweet release again. He'll give you plenty of options. You can ride his face, his thigh, whatever you want until you were satisfied.
When he says he'll be there for you, he means it. When you were whimpering softly, desperately ignoring the heat growing down there as you try to go back to sleep. You didn't want to wake up your sleeping boyfriend but it seems he was already awake. You felt his arms snake around your waist as he pulls you closer to him.
"Would you like me to help you?" He knew you would be lying if you said no, even if he slides his hand in between your legs to find you practically soaking already. You bit your lip, feeling his hard erection against your ass.
Zayne:
He didn't understand why you were so embarrassed about telling him. He knows and can read you so well. You can't hide anything from this man. He noticed the way you bit your lip when he licked off the excess ice cream on his fingers or when your thighs clenched when you watched him get dressed.
He would reassure you that having a high libido is natural to have and there is no "normal" sex drive.
"I can assure there is nothing to be embarrassed about having a high libido." He says, his voice remaining monotone as he adjusts his glasses. "Just tell me how I can help you."
He would not be irritated or bothered at all if you needed him. Although if he was busy with work then he'll make a couple arrangements to make sure he finishes his reports while you get your fill. He'll keep you seated on his lap and let you ride off his thigh or he'll keep a toy or his finger or two in you as he continues to finish his patient report with his other free hands.
He'll know what you want whenever you press your ass against him whenever you both cook or whenever you sit on his lap.
He slips a finger under your panties, pulling them down with ease. His cock was hard and he could feel your cunt soaking quickly. He settles you on top of the counter, slowly pushing his length inside of you. His pace starts off slow as your body hums in response.
âThatâs it...just like that's my good girlâ
The pot that was already cooking was probably close to burning as you two were distracted meeting your sweet release.
Rafayel:
Oh, He loves it way more than he should and he uses this to his advantage to feed off his little praise kink. He just loves to hear his cutie need him so so bad. Hearing you beg and whine for him is like a siren's song to his ears, attracting him closer to you.
"What's wrong cutie?" He asks, tilting his head to the side as he tucks the stray hair behind your ear. You bury your head in his chest, too flustered to admit you wanted more, even after all the rounds you've done together.
"Want m-more" You murmur, your voice muffled against his chest. He chuckles softly, clearly amused, and continues to tease you while gently stroking your hair. "What's that? You need my dick again? Do you want me to fill you up princess?"
You respond by rolling your hips, grinding against him, hoping he would get the idea.
He'll fill you up everyday or whenever you need him too. He loves watching you beg and drip a mix of yours and his juices down your thighs every time as if you were in heat.
"Want me that much? Gonna fill you up so much." Feeling his cum ooze down your legs, his dick going impossibly deeper inside of you. Snapping his hips as whines escape your lips.
Sylus:
âSatisfied baby?â
Your core ached for more and you silently debated on telling him. You knew if you told him you were satisfied, your vibrator or your hands canât even compare what he does to please you. You rubbed your thighs together, trying to ease the ache that was forming in between them, not realizing Sylus notices this.
He leaned down, tracing kisses down your jawline, to your neck to grab your attention again. âUse your words baby.â He whispers hotly, his warm breath fanning against your skin.
"M-more Sy.."
It does not take him that long to get used to your high libido. If anything he can match your energy or do more. He'll keep going even if his stamina runs out, if it ever runs out.
Sometimes he's uses this to tease you. While he's away for a couple days, he'll send you pictures of his body. His shirt slightly lifted up to give you a tease of his abs and his v-line peeking above his waistband.
If he was feeling mean, he'll send you a mirror pic of his chiseled abdominal, and his carved v-line leading down to the girthiest dick you're familiar with or he'll send you a video of him stroking his dick to get you riled up. "Need my pretty girl to wrap her lips around it"
You're like a drug to him and he's addicted to you. He wants to spend as much time he has with you and he does not find you to be a bother if you were feeling needy when he was in his office.
He buries his head in your folds and you can feel his tongue in and out of you. You push your hips back to meet more of him as he reaches down with one hand to stroke himself. He groans into you, the vibrations bringing you closer to the edge. You reach down to play with your clit as he fucked you with his tongue.
He needed to be inside you as much as you want him to be.
#xavier x reader#xavier x you#xavier x y/n#zayne x reader#zayne x you#zayne x y/n#rafayel x reader#rafayel x you#rafayel x y/n#sylus x reader#sylus x you#sylus x y/n#xavier love and deepspace#zayne love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace#sylus love and deepspace#xavier lads#zayne lads#rafayel lads#sylus lads#love and deepspace#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace fic#love and deepspace scenarios#lads x you#lads x reader#lads smut
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taking whatâs not yours
best friends girlfriend!ellie williams x reader
-`âĄÂŽ- summary : youâve been in love with your best friends girlfriend forever now. you leave it alone thinking nothing will happen, but what if ellie has been secretly wanting you too?
-`âĄÂŽ- warnings : smut minor dni, teeny bit of angst? cheating, breaking girl code, perv!ellie, dina slander (ilysm dina itâs for the plot im sorry), public stufff, abby x reader and ellie x dina in beginning, strap sex, fingering, oral, spanking, slapping, dirty talk, dom!ellie x sub!reader, reader is receiving everything lol, crying, masturbation watching!, ellie says some nasty things so if thatâs not your thing you can skip this one, intended lowercase, if i missed any please let me know! <3
-`âĄÂŽ- a/n : SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG OMG this was so much fun to write iâve been dying to post this!! i really hope you all like it! if you do, please show your support i appreciate it so much! if you donât no worries! iâm a new writer so i canât please everyone but i hope i do :p
đ”đž as always, please continue to keep sharing and supporting Palestine đ”đž
daily click
êŠê·âĄê·êŠïž¶
âfirst double date!â your best friend dina screams in your shared apartment. you laugh and you finish putting in your earrings. âiâm so happy you finally stopped thinking about this mystery crush i donât know about!â your heart skips a couple beats but you play it off.
âyeah youâre welcome, now you can get those bff double dates youâve always wanted,â you say smiling at her.
âi know! and abby?â dina lets out an impressed whistle. âok girl sheâs cute!â you laugh and give her a friendly shove. abby was really hot. she had the biggest arms, and she was so tall it felt like she almost towered over you, but there was just something about her that didnât make you fall for her, or maybe it was something about you? maybe you just didnât find her all that cute, maybe you just havenât given her enough time, or maybe itâs because-
âoh hey babe!â dina cheers and runs over to where the door just opened. oh yeah, thatâs why.
âhey, you look good,â ellie says sending you a smirk and making your cheeks go warm. âwhat are you so dressed up for?â you and dina give her a confused look.
âremember els? our double date?â dina excitedly tried to remind her. âi told you about it yesterday but i think you were too busy on your phone.â she then tells her with an annoyed look on her face. ellieâs eyes widen.
âoh! uh i didnât know that was you. i thought it was another one of your friends babe?â ellie says, a slight panic in her voice.
âellie, she is like my only friend, or the only friend who would be going on a double date with us.â dina tells her. ellie finally understands then turns her line of vision towards you. âwhoâs the lucky lady?â she tries to joke.
wish it were you you silently think to yourself. but thatâs wrong to think, because ellie is your best friends girlfriend and ellie sees you as her girlfriends best friend. that would be wrong, and stupid, and horrible, and kinda hot, just sneaking around and-
âabby. abby anderson.â you finally say, quickly snapping yourself out of your disgusting thoughts. ellieâs eyes widen again.
âwait abby?â she finally says. âoh uh thatâs fun yeah this will be fun.â she rambles on. you and dina give each other confused looks but quickly forget about it once you three gather into ellieâs car and head to the restaurant.
êŠê·âĄê·êŠïž¶
you, dina, and ellie enter a small and dark restaurant that you randomly found this morning. it was a cute and casual place and all you wanted to do now was drink.
âyou guys go and grab a table, im gonna order us some drinks and wait for abs.â you tell them.
âok cutie you know what i want!â dina excitedly tells you. giggling, you send her a thumbs up and turn towards the bartender to put in your order, missing the way ellie stared at you when your heavenly laugh filled the restaurant.
after putting in your order, you feel a big pair of hands wrap around you and squeeze. you let out a a quick gasp before slowly sinking into the body behind you.
âabby you scared me!â you laugh and you turn around, giving her a hug.
âaw sorry gorgeous i just had to,â she said, giving you a quick peck on the cheek. you catch up at the bar while you wait for you drinks. once you got them, you and abby headed to a corner table in the back to join the rest of your friends.
âabbyâs here!â you excitedly say as dina gets up to give her a hug. you see ellie glance at her from the side of eye and make a small scoff.
odd you think.
âiâm so glad you could join us! you know ellie right?â dina asks and you and abby sit down. dina has the biggest smile on her face as she sits accrocs from you and chats with abby, who puts her arm around you. you could almost hear ellie scrunch up next to you at the touch.
you turn to her, âyou ok?â you ask quietly. her facial expression changes into her usual smug as she asks you what you mean. ânever mind, sorry,â you say back. you try your hardest to join in on dina and abbyâs conversation, attempting to force ellie out of you mind but to no avail.
this is gonna be a long night.
êŠê·âĄê·êŠïž¶
a couple drinks later, all four of you had a good buzz and conversation was flowing. abbyâs arm fell off your shoulders as you drunkenly leaned into her. you were actually starting to have a really great time with abby. she was so sweet and respectful, and you could definitely see this going somewhere. you think she might feel the same when you feel a hand on your thigh, opposite side of abby. when did her hand get there?
you gasp. âabby!â you say her name playfully. âstoppâ you drag out innocently.
âhuh? iâm not doing anything,â she says back to you, confused look on her face. mhm you hum back. you allow her her hand to dance around on your thigh, until it finally moves up a little more, and her fingertips graze under your skirt. goosebumps cover your skin at how soft and delicate her fingers were.
âok not funny anymore,â you slap her arm playfully, praying dina and ellie are too invested in their own conversation to see whatâs going on under the table.
âi didnât say anything,â abby laughs, âmaybe youâre done with the drinks.â but then her fingers go from under your skirt, to under your underwear. you moan quietly and abby stares at you again.
âyou good baby?â she asks, but you canât respond because now her fingers are slowly pumping into your wet cunt, and as soon as they do, you hear a moan from ellie next to you.
you look over, seeing ellie and dina quietly making out next to you and your heart drops a bit. you wonder if theyâre doing the same thing as you and abby, the table cloth covering your lower halves. the fingers in your pussy speed up their movements and your attention is back towards abby.
âfuck abs,â you breathe out.
âoh baby, what are you doing to me,â she moans out, both her hands coming to cup you face as she shoves her tongue down your throat, her fingers still reaching your spo-
wait what?
you stop kissing abby and dramatically look at her hands on your face. you count once, twice, three times. both hands on your face, one still deep inside of you. you panic and look around to where ellie and dina are still making out, however as you look back down, you realize it was never abby making you come close to cumming in fucking public.
it was ellie.
âoh my god!â you let out as you quickly stand up.
âhey hey hey you okay?â abby asks. both her and dina look startled at your reaction, as well as the whole restaurant. your head is spinning as you look around to see all the people staring at you.
ellie
instead of giving you a concerned look, she instead looks up into your eyes and smirks, bringing the fingers that were just inside you, to her lips, and slowly sucking your juices off her fingers. her gaze never leaving yours.
âbathroom,â you silently let out still in shock. âiâm gonna go to the bathroom.â you tried your hardest not to stutter as you run to hide. once inside, you finally allow everything to hit you, hating yourself that you were even more turned on that it was ellie, your best friends girlfriend.
you gather your thoughts and try to keep everything down as you head back to the table. you see all of them standing up already, telling you it was probably a good time to head home. you agree, following them out the restaurant door.
êŠê·âĄê·êŠïž¶
the four of you make your way inside you and dinaâs apartment, all of your happy banter filling the room.
âhey i think me and ellie were gonna head to bed, see you in the morning abby?â dina asks, a scowl on ellieâs face behind her.
âyeah, if thatâs okay with you?â abby turns to look at your figure.
âyeah of course!â you cheerfully say, still feeling guilty about earlier. abby gives you a warm smile and your eyes stray away to look over at ellie, her eyes meeting yours. her frown turning to a smirk when she catches your gaze. you quickly turn away, feeling so much smaller than usual.
everyone heads upstairs and into the rooms. abby and you crawl into your bed as silence takes over.
âyou sure you were okay today?â she asks you.
âyeah, iâm sorry i think i just drank too much.â you tell her laughing, a big smile on her when you do. the room falls quiet once again, before abby breaks it.
âyouâre so beautiful.â you blush at her compliment and give her a quick peck.
âyouâre too good to me.â you say, the situation earlier still not leaving your mind. instead of answering, abby pulls you into a more passionate kiss. she grows greedy and shoves her tongue into your mouth, showing dominance. she climbs on top of you and her kisses start trailing down your neck.
âfuck abby,â you moan out, she groans back in response, her kisses trail lower and lower until theyâre finally resting on top of your clothes cunt. you beg her to do something before she slowly starts taking off your shorts, followed by your panties, leaving you in just your t-shirt.
âmmm so hot,â she tells her, then quickly starts licking your clit with her tongue. pleasure overtakes you, your mind overtakes you, and you think back to ellie, and how good she made you feel under the table.
âyes, fuck el-â you catch yourself before you can finish, but sit up in a panic.
âwoah, um are you sure youâre okay? we can stop.â you startle abby for a second time tonight, but weâre thankful she didnât catch your slip up.
âuh yeah sorry um i just got really thirsty all of the sudden,â you rush out, standing up off the bed and going downstairs to get water. you donât even give her a chance to respond, and youâre already downstairs at the sink. you chug your glass of water and give yourself a couple of little slaps on your face to snap out of it.
ânice outfitâ you hear behind you, you quickly spin around standing face to face with ellie, the girl whoâs name you almost just moaned upstairs. âor should i say..â she trails off and looks you up and down, âno outfit?â she questions, eyebrows furrowed as she bites her lip. it takes you a couple seconds to register that, while you were in your hurry, you completely forgot to put your pants back on, and now ellie had felt and seen your pussy.
âoh my god!â you silently panic and cover yourself.
âdonât be shy now,â ellie now stalks toward you. ânothing i havenât seen before.â her infamous smirk once again resting on her stupid beautiful face. you felt so weak, you couldnât do this right now, in fear that you would cave and become the worlds worst best friend. again.
âuh, what are you doing up?â you try to start some sort of conversation, but her movements donât stop and sheâs still heading straight towards you.
âwell, i was gonna fuck my girlfriend, but then she fell asleep, and i was gonna go to sleep, but..â she paused again. âi heard you come down here after your little slip up with abby and had to hear all about it.â your eyes widen and your heart drops.
she heard.
âellie no,â your eyes start to fill up with tears. you feel pathetic, but to ellie, you look so fucking good. âiâm so sorry it was just because of tonight and at dinner-â
âah, tonight was really funâ she cuts you off. you back up into the kitchen counter and youâre trapped.
âyour pussy tasted so good,â ellie tells you, her voice drops and her eyes fill with lust. âare you gonna be a good girl and let me taste you again?â
you canât move. all your guilt and morals are now completely out the window as you stare up at the breathtaking woman in front of you. without thinking, you nod your head slowly, a dazed look on your face causing ellie to let chuckle.
âwords baby, open that pretty mouth and use your words.â she tells you. she brings her hand up to your face, sticking her thumb into your mouth. âwider.â she orders you. you obey and her thumb travels into your mouth and down your throat, causing you to gag. she moves her thumb around in your throat, then collects your spit up in her hand, smearing it around your mouth. âgood girl,â she says, as she softly slaps your face.
out of no where, her hands go under your thighs as she lifts you up on the kitchen counter. once up, she grabs the back of your head, forcing your lips to meet hers.
sparks
thatâs what you felt, as cheesy as it sounds, you felt sparks and pleasure shoot through your body. ellie was such a good kisser. she took the lead, making your lips match hers in a sinful rhythm. with her tongue still down your throat, she spreads your legs open, both hands squeezing your thighs causing you to let out a whimper. ellie stops and slaps your face harder this time.
âstay quiet or ill stop.â she sternly tells you, hand aggressively gripping your face. you shake your head fast and try to go in for another kiss, but she backs away. âno, no, what do you think youâre doing. just stay put and look pretty. let me take care of you.â her dominance made your pussy even wetter.
she slowly goes down on her knees, trailing kisses up your thighs and her gaze never leaves yours. âels, please, need you so bad,â you beg her, you donât care how pathetic you look, and you certainly donât care that this is your best friends girlfriend whoâs going down on you right now.
âhow bad do you want it baby hm? why donât you show me.â she has an sinister look on her face, but with your mind foggy with pleasure, you quickly get comfortable and make sure that your pussy is right in front of her face. you slowly start teasing your own pussy, fingers sliding up and down your folds, biting your lip and staring right at ellie. she stares right at your pussy, watching how you play with it, and how you make yourself feel good. it drives her mad.
slowly, you put one finger in your pussy, letting out a quiet moan. âneed you right here, els. so bad.â but before you can get any deeper, she yanks your hand away and scoots you up closer to her mouth.
âfucking slut,â she breathes out, before shoving her tongue into you. pleasure hits you quickly, and your eyes fill with tears.
âoh my god, ellie,â you squeal. she ate your pussy so good. she knew exactly what made you feel good, and you were coming close. âyouâre gonna make me cum, fuck.â now you looked pathetic. you couldnât stop moving under her, she kept having to hold you down with her hands, which would definitely result in bruising in the morning. you had to grab onto her toned arms, hair, shoulders, anything. it was becoming too much. but before you could come undone, she pulls away quickly, toying with you a bit, then giving a quick slap to your pussy. you jolt up, moaning loud, before she comes up and shoves her finger into your mouth again.
âtold you to shut this pretty mouth up,â she scolds you, but then she gets an idea. âi know something that can keep it busy.â she then connects her lips to your neck, leaving light kisses while she grabs your hand and brings it to the bulnge in her boxers. you clench and let out a gasp, not expecting her to still be wearing a strap, but needing her to do something.
âellie, please fuck my mouth. please please please,â you beg her more and she bites her lip at your whimpering.
âso fucking perfect,â she compliments, pulling down her shorts. the same fingers that were in your mouth now trail to your pussy, where she starts to pump two fingers into you. âand so fucking tight,â she moans. âso much tighter than dina,â she smirks at you, watching your eyes widen and your heart drop, but your eyes roll back once she starts pumping faster.
âyou think your ready for it baby?â she asks you.
âyes please ellie,â you beg. she lifts you up off the counter and you fall to your knees right in front of the strap. you stare up at her, your eyes sparkling, and ellie bites her lip as she feels herself get wet. you pulls your chin down gently and puts its in your mouth. you moan as you feel it touch your tongue.
âyes, just like that baby, fuck so good at taking me in your pretty mouth,â she tells you, the sight of you with the friction of the strap was just enough to drive her crazy. she starts pumping herself into you faster and faster, making you moan and gag, which was such a beautiful sight for ellie.
âfuck, i need you so bad,â she tells you, âflip over baby.â she demands, and you do. itâs clear that you have no shame. face down ass up on your kitchen floor waiting to be fucked by someone who is so incredibly off limits. ellieâs voice brings you back to reality.
âprettiest pussy iâve ever seen.â you clench at her words, causing her to bite her lip. âfuck. cant wait any longer. have to fuck you.â quickly, ellieâs on her knees and lining the strap up so itâs perfectly aligned with you.
you gasp as she slowly slides into you so effortlessly. the kitchen slowly fills with the sounds of you wet pussy, the slapping of ellie fucking you, and both of your dainty moans. it was so sinful, yet so beautiful at the same time. ellie quickly speeds up her motions, her right arm grabbing you under your tits and bring you up against her chest.
âyou look so fucking pretty when i fuck you,â she tells you, her left hand coming around to rub your clit. you cover your mouth with both of your hands as she starts pounding into faster and faster. lips covering every part of your face, neck, and shoulders. you two had a perfect rhythm, causing both of you to feel yourselves growing close and fast.
âels, youâre gonna make me cum,â you struggle to get out.
âiâm close too baby, cum with me please,â she now begs you, desperate to finish.
her thrusts are now faster than ever, as the noise in the kitchen becomes louder and louder, not caring if anyone heard. the feeling in your stomach now starts to unravel and your vision goes black. you let out a loud and long moan, which is quickly cut off by your hands returning to your mouth. however this time, ellie yanks your hands away from your mouth.
âwanna hear you cum,â she demands. you donât hold back as you feel your thighs start to drip and your legs start to shake. you lean your head back on ellieâs shoulder, hearing her own moans of pleasure fill your ears. she fucks you a little more as she finishes, and then slowly pulls out of you.
you have never been fucked like that before. it was absolutely heaven.
âsomeone made a mess,â ellie smirks as she gives you a peck on the cheek. you look down and you realize you did in fact make a mess, ellie made you squirt.
âholy shit, iâve never done that before,â you let out a breathy laugh and look up at ellie, whoâs just biting her lip.
âsâhot,â she lets out, still exhausted from the best sex of her life too. you awkwardly stand up, still naked, and try to clean the floor, but ellie stops you.
âhey hey no let me do that, you just go to bed,â she politely tells you, and your heart melts. you ask her if sheâs sure and she promises that sheâs fine. you thank her and she pulls you in for one last kiss. âagain sometime?â she asks you, and without thinking, you say yes and head up the stairs, telling yourself that youâll deal with the guilt of it tomorrow.
you enter your room with a smirk on your face, still out of it from how good ellie fucked you. before climbing in your bed, you yelp as you see abby fast asleep. you completely forgot about her, she probably fell asleep, too tired to even wait for you because of how long you were taking.
again, you should feel bad, but you donât, because ellie williams just fucked you, so you get dressed go to sleep with a smile on your face, dreaming about the next time you fuck your best friends girlfriend.
êŠê·âĄê·êŠïž¶
LMAOOOO SORRY THIS IS AN HOUR AND A HALF LATE BUT I WANTED TO MAKE IT PERFECT EVEN THOUGH I RUSHED AT THE END SORRRYYY
i hope you babies enjoy â€ïž i love you
CVNTTTLUVERRRRRR owt
#ellie willams x reader#ellie williams#ellie williams fanfic#ellie smut#ellie williams smut#ellie williams tlou#ellie williams fics#ellie willaims#ellie williams fic#ellie williams fanfics#ellie x reader#ellie x you#ellie williams masterlist#lesbian#ellie williams angst
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I Want You to Stay (13) | JJK
Pairing:Â Jungkook x (f.) Reader
Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut
Chapter Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption; arts, business/property devt, and book publishing talk thatâs probably inaccurate; mentions of injury, trauma; family drama; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; they're still idiots;  explicit sexual content (making out, oral (m & f receiving), body praise, mutual masturbation, protected sex)  (18+)
Chapter Word count:Â 29k
Series Masterlist
Status:Â Ongoing
Series summary: Working for Jungkook isnât the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesnât smile, he doesnât appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesnât help that heâs incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. Youâve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.
Playlist đ¶: on the way home
A/N: It's here! This is a long one so I hope you enjoy and savour it all. We're close to the end! So thank you so much for all the support and love for this story đ€đ€
And as always, my biggest thanks to @wonwoonlight đ„°
You take up Yoongiâs offer of a listening ear on Saturday, the day after your last day at the company. You spent last night wallowing in sadness over not being able to see Jungkook during your farewell dinner and in regret for not telling him what you wanted to say - that you were thankful, that you wished the Arts Center would be everything he imagined it would be, and that hopefully, youâll see him again.Â
Maybe if he showed up, you wouldâve said more - that youâre terrified of everything he makes you feel, that youâre too burdened by your past, and that you want him even if you donât know if youâre ready to be with him.
You spent much of today convincing yourself that it was better that you didnât see him, even if you kept imagining his shy smile and the feel of his lips against yours, and then you got frustrated all over again.Â
With all thatâs going on in your head, you figured that spending dinner on your own today would make you feel more sorry for yourself, so youâre currently seated in front of Yoongi with your wonton soup barely touched while heâs just slurped the remaining noodles of his.Â
âYour soupâs getting cold,â he nudges your foot as you mindlessly gaze at your bowl. âItâs not gonna eat itself.â
âApparently, I donât eat much when Iâm sad,â you sigh, turning to him.Â
âWell, that sucks. Itâs really good soup,â he hums.Â
Yoongi looks at you patiently just as he has for the past half hour. You told him you wanted to eat out, and he agreed immediately, even offering to drive you home after. But you havenât said much since you arrived at the restaurant and he hasnât forced you to say anything either.
âIâm sorry for not being a fun dinner partner tonight,â you say.Â
âItâs okay. When I told you the other week to call me if you wanted to talk, I didnât expect you to actually talk,â he chuckles. âI know sometimes you just need someone to be with. And thereâs nothing wrong with that. You donât have to say anything if you donât want to.â
âItâs not that I donât want to. Like I said, itâs complicated,â you reply. âI can't even figure myself out.â
âItâs only complicated if you make it,â he counters. âHuman beings are complex, yes. But feelings of desire arenât. Theyâre quite straightforward. You want something and that should tell you everything. Itâs pride and fear that complicate things. If you set those aside, then youâll be able to figure out what you really feel.â
âWhat if they contradict each other?â
âThe push and pull isnât always equal though. One overpowers the other in some way. So youâre either more happy about leaving or more sad about it. And then ask yourself why.â
âIâm sad about leaving Jungkook,â you admit. âI donât regret my decision but it doesnât make me happy right now.â
âAnd why doesnât it make you happy?â
âBecause it hurt him. And then it hurt me.â
âWhy did it hurt the both of you?â
âI donât know about him,â you pout.
âThen what about you? Why did it hurt you?â
âBecause he kept his distance - he replaced me, shut me out. And then he didnât show up to my farewell dinner.â
âSo whatâs painful about that?â Yoongi pushes, wanting to help you make sense of things.
âBecause I want him close to me,â you say quietly, letting the words sink in. Youâve always known this, but saying it to someone else somehow makes it feel more real this time. âI want him⊠with me.â
âTold you it was simple,â Yoongi shrugs.
âBut it isnât,â you argue.
Yoongi is a straightforward man, and you suppose the only way for him to understand is for you to tell him the truth, so thatâs what you do.Â
You tell him about your ties to the Jeon family, why you stayed in the company for as long as you did, all the attempts at leaving, and the plan of doing so after the Arts Center opening. You share about your life in the process - your childhood of staying at the library and your coping mechanisms, your life in Busan, going back to Daegu then leaving for Seoul, working to repay a debt, and then losing yourself because of it. You talk about the closeness you developed with Jungkook, all the times that he was there for you, the kiss and the aftermath, why you pushed him away and why you also feel bad about how he reacted. You say a bit about the things that scare you - getting hurt being one of them - and why staying for Jungkook would be difficult, and why leaving him would be the same.Â
Yoongi looks at you earnestly. Heâs always known about you being guarded, keeping parts of yourself that you donât really share with others. This is the farthest youâve let him into your world, and he sees so much of Jungkook in you. Thereâs that fear of not being wanted but also of being wanted; youâre scared of not being enough to be loved but also of not loving the other person enough. Youâre unable to express how you feel because you donât know if the person will respond with the same vulnerability and honesty, and you donât like baring yourself with no one there to tell you itâs alright. Â
All of it feels like how his friend is. Heâs seen it since the moment Jungkook stepped foot into the office a year ago; heâs seen it everytime Jungkook disengages from you or gets mad at you; heâs seen it even when youâve started to become comfortable with each other, and Yoongi has seen it these past weeks of Jungkook dealing with your departure, especially recently.Â
âSo after all that, you mean to tell me that you didnât actually tell him how you feel?â Yoongi points out. âThat he just overheard you say that you like him but you didnât actually tell him? Not your feelings nor your fears, not your contradicting emotions, nor the fact that you want to be with him? Because Iâm hearing you, ___. And all I hear is that youâve found someone youâre willing to give your heart to but youâre too afraid to do anything about it. Even after heâs told you how he feels, because you donât think that he would be open and honest enough to you to mean them.â
You let out a breath and pout, Yoongiâs words making it seem simpler than it actually is. In hindsight, maybe it is, because after everything that you shared, the first thing he points out is how, despite the obvious reciprocated feelings, youâre the one whoâs afraid to give in.
âYou talked about how Jungkook made you feel braver during the times you were scared and alone and hurt,â Yoongi says, seething at your experiences that made you look towards Jungkook for strength. âWhy canât you be brave enough for him? I mean, I get it that you want to leave the company, no one questions why you would. He did but heâs accepted it because he understands, but why do you have to let him go? Is it just because of the ties to his family? Or is it because youâre afraid of what he feels for you that isnât tied to you being his assistant?â
His last question causes your face to fall, and Yoongi knows heâs hit a nerve.
âYouâve been living your life trying to prove that youâre more than your past, that youâre capable and that you deserve all that you have now,â he adds. âThis job was your life. You told me before that you donât know if youâd like yourself outside of it, and maybe youâre thinking that Jungkook wouldnât, either.â
âI⊠donât think Iâm that great, Yoongi,â you confess. âI mean, just think about what the guys I dated said about me.â
âThose donât count because theyâre absolute jerks.â
âEven then, I⊠Iâm terrible at a lot of things. I pull away, I get scared, I⊠I donât know how to be someoneâs anything. I donât know if I want to be. I donât know if I can, or what that even means,â you stammer. âFor a second there, I let my guard down for Jungkook andââ
âHe did the same and that terrifies you,â Yoongi finishes. âBeing wanted back terrifies you. Itâs why you feel confused and conflicted, ___. You have the chance to have something youâve been yearning for andââ
âIâm scared Iâd lose it,â you interject. âAnd I wonât if I donât have it. Iâm scared of heartbreak, Yoongi. I gave in when it came to Jungkook but I saw the possibilities with him and heartbreak was one of them. This is why I donât give in to anything. I mean, itâs why I didnât give in to you. I⊠I was scared weâd hurt each other and that Iâd lose you and⊠Iâm sorry Iâm bringing this up now.â
âItâs good that you are,â he assures you. âBecause do you see the difference? You didnât give in to me but you did to him. You never know if the person is worth the pain until itâs there but you at least know that heâs worth a try. I wasnât, and I donât take offense, but thatâs the point. Heâs the guy you try for, ___. Heâs the one you climb out your walls for. So donât cower inside. Be brave for him this time.â
Itâs a while before youâre able to say anything. The background chatter in the noodle house fades away in your mind as you take in Yoongiâs words. And heâs not wrong.Â
You never told Jungkook what you felt; you didnât know how to. You kissed him to express that, but you pushed him away just as quickly, but you never got to say anything else, especially after. And now youâre left to wonder - what was the fear really about? And what was the need to let go of him because of it?
Youâre scared of a lot of things; youâre scared of every single thing you want to have. You learned some time ago that Jungkook was the same, but you think that youâre probably more terrified than he is.Â
Youâre a walking contradiction, too - you want to cut ties with him because it reminds you of a past you donât want to be defined by, but in doing so, youâre cutting yourself off as what you started as - his assistant, and youâre scared to be anything else but that. You were good at it - you were competent, capable; you managed his life and the team well. But being with him means you have to be someone else for him - his partner, his companion, his lover, and you donât know how to be those things for him. You donât know if youâd like yourself, and so you donât know if heâd like you if you tried. And that scares you.
But like Yoongi said, you thought Jungkook was at least worth it; you wouldnât have kissed him if you didnât, even if you thought it was a moment of weakness. You just have to follow through with that belief this time, and be brave enough to not just want him because you do; you have to be brave enough to let him want you back. You have to be brave enough to believe that heâll stay.Â
âHow⊠how do I do that? How do you become brave for someone?â You finally ask.Â
Yoongi relaxes in his seat, his eyes the most comforting theyâve ever been.Â
âYou just tell them how you feel,â he says. âYou face it head on because you know that thereâs something more important than a possible heartbreak, and thatâs losing on the possibility of happiness with them.â
You let out a breath. You know Yoongiâs right. Youâd said that you want to know how itâs like to be truly happy with Jungkook, and itâs this paralyzing fear and stubbornness thatâs keeping you from finding out. But you suppose that when youâve gotten used to keeping a lot of things in, just telling someone how you feel isnât that easy.
âItâs hard for you, I know,â he continues, reading your mind. âBut how would you learn what your heart is capable of if you donât follow it?â
âThen youâll just risk it getting broken,â you argue.
âYou do,â he hums. âHearts break. But itâs not the only thing they do.â
The words are simple, just as the thought is. You almost feel embarrassed that Yoongi has to remind you of these things, about the inevitability of pain and loss and how it should be worth it in the end. But the fear comes from somewhere, from a heart thatâs close to your own that shattered so many times, you wondered at one point if it was still capable of loving.Â
âI told you that I never met my dad, right?â You share, willing to bare a bit more of yourself to him. âHe left before I was born because he wasnât ready. But mom⊠Mom loved him deeply. I found a photo of them under her pillow one time and I asked her about it, and she had me lay my head on her lap while she told me about him. I was around 6 years old and probably didnât understand much but I felt her tears drop on my cheek, and then everyday for weeks, Iâd hear her cry, all alone in her room. And somehow, she just cried harder every time I hugged her.â
You remember those days. You learned what it felt like to have your heart broken at that age, and it was because of seeing your mom try to smile through glassy eyes; it was hearing her tell you that she loved you, even if the other half of you was the reason why she was hurting in the first place.
âEventually a man came along and he made her laugh until he stopped,â you continue. âUntil all he could do was hurt her. And that⊠that felt worse. Sheâd just learned to share herself again but then he just broke her. And I⊠I felt that, too. I felt it every time she hugged me, kissed me, covered my ears to drown out his yelling⊠I felt it every time I had my head on her lap so I wouldnât see her break down.â
Your eyes wander into the streets outside, recalling those difficult years when your mother protected you, even as she was in pain herself.
âThey say that a parent feels the pain their child is feeling,â you say. âI guess itâs true for children, too. I felt her pain, I felt her heart break. Her heart was my heart. And I guess ever since then Iâve just been scared for it to happen to me, knowing how much it hurts. It took years before she could recover. That was hard, too.â
âHow long did it take her to give Min-woo a chance?â
âYears,â you shake your head. âShe was so cautious. But he stuck around, and she realized he was worth it all. And she gained two other daughters who adore her in the process.â
âHer heart was your heart,â Yoongi repeats your words. âAnd all she did was love. That means your heart is capable of just as much. Itâs just as strong, too.â
Youâve never thought about it that way. You've always believed that the one thing you took from your mother was her grace. Perhaps if you tried, youâd learn that you took her strength, too. Maybe her unyielding ability to care. Perhaps itâs her faith in what she was capable of no matter how broken she may be.Â
âI⊠I needed this,â you tell Yoongi, your eyes misty at his words. âItâs been hard understanding myself lately. And you, you just know me. You know what to say all the time.â
âItâs because I risked something, too, when I told you how I felt about you all those years ago,â he replies, the reminder of his unrequited feelings no longer awkward for either of you. âAnd at the end of it, I learned how I could care for you, and that I could care for you much better as a friend.â
âAnd well, youâve been an amazing one to me, especially this past year.â
âGood, so for my sake, especially since you and Jungkook give me so much headache,â Yoongi laughs, âremember everything I said, okay? Your heart is capable of so much. So please give it a try and follow it. I doubt it will be broken this time around.â
You spend the entirety of Sunday at home, cleaning up the place and tending to your growing collection of plants. It was a cool enough day for you to walk up the neighborhood to buy some things from the store, and as Yoongiâs words from the night before ring in your head, you find yourself hurting more at the absence of Jungkook in your life.Â
Thereâs a new recipe for fried rice that you saw online, and he was your first thought because you think heâd like it. You read an article about Lee Jaemin in the morning where she mentioned the Arts Center, and you wanted to share it with him and gush over her words. His favorite Japanese chef has opened a new restaurant in Insadong and you wonder if heâs already tried it. The playground at the park is closed because theyâre doing repairs after you told the council about how rusted the swings have become at Jungkookâs suggestion.Â
Theyâre little things, really, and you realize even more just how much of yourself youâve shared with him, and how much of himself heâs shared as well. Whatever lines that were drawn up due to your respective positions were crossed long ago, even before that kiss. It started when you both started to care for each other, and when you both started to wish for the otherâs happiness and healing. On your end, youâd hoped youâd be a part of that and that heâd be a part of yours. You donât think that has changed though.
There are still many things you want to share with him, you realize again, especially on that Monday afternoon when you find yourself at Rkive Publishing for your contract signing that has you looking at Namjoon in question.Â
âAre⊠are you sure?â you ask him, as you read through the document.Â
Heâd sent a version of this for your review a few days ago and youâd given your verbal confirmation. You expected to come today to just sign the contract, but he asked you to review it again since he made a few changes. The salary is one of them.Â
âAre you asking me if Iâm sure of offering you a higher compensation package?â Namjoon raises an eyebrow, clearly amused.Â
âY-yes?â You say. âI mean, not that I donât prefer it but⊠why?âÂ
You knew that working for a smaller organization, and for a publishing company at that, despite having a higher position and more responsibilities meant that your pay wouldnât be significantly different from what you were getting at the Jeon Corporation. Youâd accepted that, and it was something youâd talked about with Namjoon. But still, this little bit of increase is something you hadnât expected.
âWeâll, letâs just say that weâve had many applicants in the past who oversold themselves. You did the opposite,â he responds. âYou impressed me and the panel enough with your resume and interview and we thought you were a good fit but that recommendation letter from your companyâs President showed us just how qualified you were, and that thereâs so much potential there. I was also able to speak with your most recent boss.â
âVP Jeon?â
âYes, I was on a call with him last Friday. He elaborated on the strengths youâd mentioned and that Mr. Jung had noted,â Namjoon responds. âTheyâre top executives of a well-known company who have worked closely with you, who saw your growth, and can attest to your potential. Given all those qualities, we thought it was just fair that we increase your compensation. Weâve learned itâs important to trust and be committed to our staff, and this is how we show that.â
âThis⊠this is deeply appreciated,â you manage to say, not realizing just how valuable the references were. You check to see that your responsibilities didnât change much, so you know that this is really them, believing in your worth.
âWeâre looking to expand in the next few years and are working towards establishing our position in the industry,â he adds. âWe donât just need competent individuals - we need leaders, we need people of good character who can embody all the things that we stand for. Weâre trying to build something here and someone like you would be a wonderful asset. You can help us grow, ___. And I, well,â he continues, shyly smiling. âI just really wanted to make sure that we got a good start. Your role is critical. Itâs also one of the toughest ones out there and I wanna show you that we want you here. I mean, I was sure a lot of companies were trying to get you and weâd have to compete for you.â
âI was already convinced early on, Namjoon,â you assure him. âTo be honest, meeting you at the bookstore that day felt like some sign from the universe that it was time for me to carve my own path. I guess I didnât just need a new environment, I needed a blank slate, too, where I could start over and feel like I was really doing this for myself, that I wasnât trying to prove anything to anyone else, not even to me.â
âGlad I took a chance on talking to you, then, even if I sort of freaked you out,â he chuckles. âIâm still sorry about that.â
âIt was fine,â you laugh. âIn hindsight, Iâm also glad you did. I told you, it was a moment that stuck with me. Itâs what pushed me to learn about what youâre all doing here, to learn about you. I⊠I do well when Iâm surrounded by good people, by those who believe in their work, and those who believe in others. I know it wonât be easy but I already know Iâll thrive here. So thank you for giving me this chance, too.â
You and Namjoon talk some more and then lock in a date for your first day. You agree to start in three weeks - that gives you enough time to properly rest and mentally prepare yourself for this new phase. Youâll still be in a fast-paced and high-stress environment, but youâll control your time and directly manage a team. Everythingâs going to be new, and you want to be ready when it all happens, which is also why youâll be doing your onboarding a few days before.Â
âI wanted to give this to you,â he says, handing you a book as he walks you out the door. âI always give one to new staff as a form of welcome because books are our heart and soul, you know?â
âThis is lovely, Namjoon,â you smile at him. âThis will definitely be my companion for the next few weeks.â
âGood. Itâs always meaningful to have something tangible like this,â he smiles back.Â
Thereâs warmth in the way he does it, as if every time he talks about books, it elicits special memories. You think being around someone like that will be good for you, as you try to hold onto good memories yourself despite the sadness you still feel.
âI hope you like it,â he says before bidding you goodbye.Â
You walk through the neighborhood and picture yourself going through this route everyday. Itâs definitely nothing like the busy streets that youâre used to. There are more trees and quaint cafes and boutique stores here, and even just this change is already making you feel lighter; you can imagine getting over your stress with surroundings like this. You suppose thatâs how Namjoon remains as calm and hopeful as he is despite his responsibilities - thereâs so much energy you get just being outdoors, and itâs something you decide youâll do today.Â
You have all the time in the world now, so you grab coffee then head to a park to enjoy the early summer cool air.Â
The book that Namjoon gave you is a novel published five years ago about a woman who quit her job in search of herself. You donât think itâs a coincidence, as in such a short time, you've come to know him as a thoughtful man whoâs very assuring, and you suppose this is his way of telling you that everything will be okay as you take on this new journey alongside him. The bright color palette of the design seems to reflect the hopeful subject of the book, and right as youâre about to start reading, the sound of children laughing catches your attention.
Thereâs a playground nearby, and your mind immediately goes to Jungkook. Thereâs an image of him looking happy and safe in a place that made him feel those things that you keep in your heart. You donât know how he looks like as a child but you can somehow imagine a little boy riding the swing and coming down the slide with the softest smile and thinking that he can do and be anything he wants, that he feels capable enough for it, and that heâs able to share that joy with whoever whoâs with him.
You think about earlier when Namjoon was talking about your capabilities and how you were able to see yourself the way Jungkook and Hoseok see you as a professional. You think about how it felt being supported that way, how their trust and confidence in you made you trust and be confident in yourself, too. Thereâs this pride you feel at being able to make that much of an impression on your new boss early on and thereâs no stress, thereâs no pressure.Â
Sure, you want to show that all those arenât empty words, but thereâs no urge to prove yourself that you earned your spot unlike how youâve been these past nine years. Thereâs just this desire to live - work is a part of it but so is reading stories, meeting people and learning about them, walking through quiet streets and appreciating the sunlight peeking through the trees. Thereâs this yearning to experience the day and not just survive it.Â
You look at the book in your hands and know that someday, youâll be holding one that you had a hand in creating. And it would be something that you poured your heart and soul into, one that you experienced in its entirety, and it would make you so happy knowing that you could touch it, that you can hear it, that you can see the story come to life in your mind.
You trace your fingers down the front cover and realize that this beautiful thing is tangible. And then you realize another thing - happiness is tangible, too. Youâd felt it, youâd heard it. Youâd seen it smile at you. Youâd felt its lips against yours, too, but then you pulled away and became too afraid to take it back. Happiness was so close - it breathed you in, it held you close; it wanted you, and you were too scared to let it stay.
You spent so many years chasing it. Youâd found it in your friends and your new family, but there was always something more that you wanted, one that you couldnât find. Until him. And youâre slowly learning just how painful it is to let it slip away.
Jungkook stays in your mind for the rest of the evening, and you find yourself wanting to share about your day.Â
You want to tell him that you felt a little shy when Namjoon was praising you but that you felt proud of yourself. And that you wanted to thank him.Â
You want to tell Jungkook that your new work environment is quite charming, that the surrounding areas are inspiring, and that you might just start spending time outdoors from now on. And that you wish you get to explore it with him.Â
You want to tell him that youâre excited to start your new job and that youâll maybe start reading books because youâll have a hand in creating the finished products. And that you want to share that with him, maybe make him read it, too.
You want to tell him that youâre sorry. That you shouldnât have doubted what he felt, that you should've stood by your feelings regardless and fought for them. You want to tell him that you donât regret quitting, but that you regret losing him in the process. That no matter how hard you try, heâs still the one you look for, the one you want to talk about your day with, the one you want to share your dream and hopes to.Â
Jungkook has made you feel free in a way that you hadnât before - an irony, considering that working for his family made you feel constricted, burdened, stagnant. But there are so many possibilities with him, so many reasons - to smile, to be brave, to hope, to yearn for more, to believe that you deserve good things that you can touch. And you want to know what those are like; you donât want to lose out on that chance and lose him completely.Â
Perhaps all you had to do was free your heart so it could feel what itâs supposed to. Like what Yoongi said, maybe you just had to follow it to know what it could do.Â
Itâs why on Thursday of that week, you find yourself inside his office with an envelope in hand, as you hope that actually freeing your heart and following it isnât too late.Â
You were scheduled to come today so you could get your final pay and sign some documents with HR. You arrived mid-morning and got to those right away. It didnât take long, which is why you were able to pass by Hoseokâs office to update him about your new job and thank him for the recommendation. You headed to the support teamâs office after, and they were quick to make lunch plans with you. Jungkookâs at the Arts Center, they said, so they can take their break in half an hour, but they canât be out long. There are lots of things they have to do with the opening happening on Friday of the next week.
Lucas told you that heâd found some of your supplies that youâd left and theyâre in a drawer in his desk, and you told him that you could get them yourself. They were easy to find, and you took the time to leave little notes for him in between folders and files; you figured that finding them on days when he doesnât expect them could give him encouragement somehow.Â
Jungkookâs door was slightly opened, and you took the chance to enter and take in a piece of him. The last time you were here, it felt like there was so much you still couldnât say, there were feelings you were too afraid to face and words you werenât sure he wanted to hear. Being back here, you feel a lot braver, and you know it matters that now, youâre trying to be brave for him.Â
You stand in front of his desk, almost cradling the letter youâd written last night. Youâve spent the past days outdoors, finding cafes and quaint spots in areas that youâve never explored before. Youâve been reading the book, too, and the more time you spent by yourself - not being tired, not being stressed, not feeling lost or burdened - the more you realized just how much youâve been missing and yearning for things. And that you deserved whatever it was you wanted, and that included Jungkook.Â
The life youâd started to live without him convinced you that the intimacy and connection youâve been desiring is something you can find with him. You want to know what thatâs like; you want to know how happy you could be with him, and youâll only know it if you express it to him this time. You owe it to him to do that; youâre scared that any more time apart will push both of you farther away, too far to pull the other back because the anchor wasnât set securely in the first place. You donât want him to be your what if; you donât want him to be your biggest regret.
Telling him how you felt was another thing, though, and writing a letter took you longer than expected. You donât know how heâll take it, but you could only hope heâll see your sincerity through it, and that heâll still want you, even if it took you quite a while to accept what he felt, too.
His desk isnât as organized as it usually is, but you place the envelope on top of a folder of blueprints that you know heâs going to get to soon. You know how he is - he always likes his things in their proper place. The center is the urgent pile so you know heâs gonna find this once he gets back and that maybe, heâll go to you right after, hopefully to tell you that he still wants you, that he still wants to be with you, and that like heâd asked before, youâll figure things out together.Â
Thereâs fear just as thereâs excitement. You hope at the end of all this, youâll find yourself in his arms - everything forgiven, with nothing but more good memories youâll create.Â
You head out to lunch with the team shortly after and hold off on asking how Jungkookâs doing or about the changes in the Arts Center. Everyone looks tired enough as it is and you donât want them thinking about work during their break, so you settle on talking about your new job and how excited you are. Theyâll be supporting the books, they say; you canât help but think again about how much you want to share them with Jungkook, too.Â
You spend the rest of the day at home, waiting for that phone call from him or perhaps, his knock on your door. Youâre unsure if heâll come today; you donât want to think that he wouldnât, even if he has reasons not to want to see you anymore after what youâve done.Â
But the hope lives, as you convince yourself in the evening that maybe he got back to the office late and hadnât seen your letter.Â
You do the same thing the next day - you stay at home, hesitant to leave in case he comes, and then tell yourself that thereâs a reason why he hasnât shown up at your door yet.Â
You do it again the day after, then the next, and then again.
The hope remained but it has now withered away. Itâs Tuesday afternoon, and he still hasnât come.
Jungkook sinks in the seat of his desk, breathing heavily as he tries to catch a break. Itâs not much, but itâs the only moment he has of complete silence where he forces himself to not do or think about anything. He gives himself only ten minutes each day for this, other than when heâs sleeping. He does it only between meetings or calls or visits to the Arts Center, which he fits all in one day.Â
Itâs only 2PM on Thursday but it might as well be late on a Friday evening. Heâs exhausted, as if he hasnât rested for days, as if he hasnât been sleeping properly, and as if he hasnât stopped working. And all of those are true.Â
Ever since heâd decided on making changes in the Arts Center, heâs been going nonstop. From drawing up the design, purchasing materials, to constructing the room, Jungkook has been doing it all, on top of managing the rest of the work being done. Heâs employed the help of Yoongi and a project manager to help him, but Jungkook has been the one making all the decisions, and that definitely didnât go well with his father.Â
He caught the ire of the old man right away, with the CEO scolding him for doing this weeks before the opening and for going over budget, which is why Jungkook stays in the Arts Center most of the day, going in the afternoon and then staying or returning at night, doing the manual labor himself so he doesnât have to pay more for the workers. He paints the walls as well as some of the furniture, and thatâs taken so much of him these past weeks, especially his time, time that heâd taken away from seeing you.Â
He wasnât really present during your last days at the company. He approved all your leaves and he was sincere about having you take them, but during the days when you were in the office, he was barely there. He was either physically at the Center or his mind was.Â
Other times, he was performing his executive functions, with Hoseok reminding him of his Vice President duties. Jungkook had neglected some of them, as evidenced by his messy desk thatâs giving him a headache. Heâs always been organized with his things but not recently, not when all heâs been doing is working himself to the bone like what heâs used to. But this has more at stake for him; this isnât just some structure or room heâs building. Itâs so much more.
One other thing heâs been doing is regretting that he wasnât there during your last day to bid you goodbye and to see you for the last time, it seemed like. He wished you well and thanked you, even if there was more he wanted to say. He knew he wouldnât be able to, and he wouldnât have handled lingering, too, if that would give you a chance to say something more to him that would make him express what heâs really feeling, and heâs scared that would push you further away.Â
He was never good at that. The one time he told you what he wanted and felt, things didnât go right - the timing was off, you doubted his sincerity, and there was so much you kept hidden from him. He hasnât known what to do nor say since then, which is why heâs doing what heâs doing for you. Itâs more than the words he doesnât know how to say; itâs something he wonât regret as it expresses everything thatâs been in his heart, and itâs lasting, itâs constant, itâs comforting; itâs everything he wants to be for you.Â
But then again, all this work kept him from seeing you for the last time, and itâs a reminder again of how heâs been living his life - diverting his attention to other things instead of facing whatâs important.Â
Thereâs not much he can do now, though. Everything has been completed. All the certifications have been secured, all the invitations are out, the promotion for the opening is all over social media, and the support team is on top of everything thatâll take place tomorrow. With the end of it just within reach, heâs able to take a breath, and itâs why heâs able to extend his short break to 15 minutes.Â
The Arts Center is being cleaned and security checked, so he has no choice but to stay away from it until it opens tomorrow. So right now, he has the time to work on his other responsibilities, such as draft plans for a project that Hoseokâs working on that heâd asked Jungkook to review.Â
âI had Lucas leave the blueprints on your desk last week,â the older man says over the phone after being asked if the files are still with him. âYou should see it right away. It was urgent so I told him to put it at the center.â
âWell, thatâs one of many thatâs apparently urgent,â Jungkook sighs as he sees the pile of documents in front of him. It seems like heâs neglected a lot of other things this past week. âWhen did you say you left them?â
âThursday morning,â Hoseok responds. âYou wouldâve seen them immediately.â
âI wouldâve⊠except I havenât really been at my desk in days.â
Which is the truth. Jungkook has been sitting on his desk only to go through his emails and then signing documents that Lucas gives him before heading to meetings and the Arts Center. Itâs been his schedule this entire week, which is why he hadnât seen the designs that Hoseokâs talking about. And as Jungkook goes through the pile - of memos for checking, of studies from Yoongi - he sees something else that makes his heart drop.
The last time he found an envelope on his desk with your handwriting on it, his world took a complete turn. He remembers reading that resignation letter and thinking that heâd really screwed things up, that life wasnât going to be the same without you next to him everyday, and that there was no way he could have you again after how things turned out.Â
He doesnât know what to expect with this, not when he hasnât seen you in days, and not when he doesnât know how youâre doing right now.
âKook?â Hoseok says on the other end after the prolonged silence. âAre you still there?â
âDid ___ come to the office this week?âÂ
âShe was here last Thursday. She signed some HR stuff and dropped by my room. Why?â
âShe⊠she left a letter on my desk.â
âOh⊠What does it say?â
âI⊠I havenât opened it. Iâm not sure Iâm ready to know whatâs inside,â Jungkook says, his hands trembling as he places it back down.
âIt could be many things but you wonât know unless you read it,â Hoseok responds. âBoth of you have been keeping your feelings to each other from each other, Kook. This⊠this might be something that changes that.â
âDid⊠did she say anything to you when she visited?â
âJust about her job. She seems content and excited. Whatever else she feels, Iâm pretty sure itâs in there. So read it, and donât worry about the designs. Those can wait.â
Jungkook drops the call, noting that heâll thank his cousin later on. This letter is the most important thing right now, even if heâs nervous about whatâs written on it.Â
He finally opens the envelope and the first thing he sees are pictures - one of an empty playground, and another one of you on the swing, smiling. Itâs been weeks without your smile, and remembering how much comfort itâs given him is what makes him calm down; itâs what makes him have the courage to read through the letter.
Jungkook,
I took the photo of the playground during my birthday trip using the gift you got me. We passed by a park on the way to one of the towns and we stayed there for a while. It was so beautiful, so peaceful. I felt a kind of comfort Iâve never felt before, and it made me think of how I feel when Iâm around you.Â
I was thinking of you, too, when Soomin took my photo. I seem to do that a lot, Iâve learned. I think of you and smile, and thereâs this unfamiliar feeling of joy. Thereâs this yearning to feel it everyday, and that scares me. We kissed and the desire for you scared me even more. So did the thought that I canât be what you need me to be despite what we feel, and that there's a possibility Iâd get hurt along the way.Â
But I learned that what scares me the most is losing you.
I donât regret leaving, but I regret how I did it, and Iâm so sorry for everything. I wish I got to tell you what I really felt, and I wish I realized much sooner that the happiness Iâve been looking for is one I can find with you.Â
Iâm scared of many things, Jungkook, but you make me braver. This is me being brave for you. Please come and find me. I hope itâs not too late.Â
XX
Jungkook reads the letter one more time. Itâs nothing like he imagined but everything he hoped. Youâve wanted him all this time; you still want him after everything. He senses the sadness and the hope in your words, and theyâre things he feels, too.Â
You want him to find you. And just like you, he hopes itâs not too late.Â
He rushes out of his room and instructs Lucas to cancel all his meetings for the day. Jungkook heads to the support teamâs office to tell Mr. Ri that thereâs somewhere important they need to go.Â
âWhere to?â The older man asks once they get inside the car.
â___âs place,â Jungkook pants. âGet there as fast as you can.â
Mr. Ri doesnât ask any more questions. He drives off and merely glances at the rear view mirror.Â
âWeâll get to her,â he says. âOne way or another, weâll get to her.â
Jungkook could only hope, but when he gets to your apartment and finds it empty, that hope slowly fades. Heâd call you but thatâs not how he wants to fix things, he thinks. Thatâs not how he wants to ask you to be with him. He probably wonât even be able to say what he really means. So he tries one more, knocking and calling out your name, but no one comes.
âSheâs not here,â someone calls out. âIs there anything I can help you with?â
Jungkook turns around and finds your elderly neighbor, a woman heâd seen that one day he visited you after you got injured. Youâve mentioned her a few times and how she sends over food on some nights and invites you for tea on some weekends. She looks kind and warm, and definitely curious.
âShe⊠she asked me to find her,â he says dejectedly. âBut I didnât know she wanted me to. I didnât see her letter right away and now⊠now itâs too late.â
âYouâre the man she was waiting for,â she hums, walking closer. âSheâs right, youâre very handsome.â
âShe⊠she talked about me?â
âA few times. I asked about how she got home when she hurt her ankle and she said you helped her,â the woman smiles. âI donât see anybody visit her other than her friends. And Iâve known her for years; I havenât seen any other man sheâs allowed in her home in all that time, nor has she talked about one. I knew then you meant a lot to her. But she said things were too complicated and that always held her back.â
âThat always held me back, too,â he responds. Heâd smile at the thought that youâve talked about him, but it doesnât change the fact that youâre gone. Thereâs a reason why you stopped waiting. âHas she been well?â
âShe has. She seems to have more life in her now. I always felt like her old job tired her out so much,â she says. âSheâs excited to start fresh, and Iâm proud of her. Oftentimes we stay in one place for too long and we just lose ourselves in it, you know? We lose sight of the things that make us happy and it was really brave of her to leave behind everything sheâs known.â
âIt was. I know that now,â Jungkook sighs. âDid she say if she found it? What makes her happy?â
âShe did. She said she found you.â
The words hit him, as he knows itâs the same for him. You may have found each other in the place youâve both been in for so long, but itâs losing each other that perhaps made you both realize what it was you couldnât live without. Letting each other go showed what happiness actually looked like, and that neither of you wanted to be without it anymore.
âI found her too late, I think.â
âThatâs for her to decide, though. You wonât know unless you look for her,â she hints.Â
âWhen did she leave?â
âTuesday afternoon. That was just two days ago. I doubt sheâs changed her mind,â she smiles again. âWell, Iâd love to stay here and chat but I have some grandchildren to pick up. And I believe you have someone to find.â
âI think I do,â he responds, the nervousness evident in his voice. âThank you, maâam.â
âYouâre welcome,â she hums. âGet to her, okay? She deserves someone who wonât give up on her.â
You donât, Jungkook agrees, as he nods in goodbye and heads back to the car. Thatâs not something he will do this time. All heâs done was let his fears and worries speak for him these past months and he doesnât want to do that anymore, not when thereâs more of you that heâll lose.Â
âSheâs not home,â Jungkook responds to Mr. Riâs questioning look. âI⊠I didnât get to her in time.â
âWhere to, then?â
Jungkook breaks as he imagines you in your apartment, waiting for him, wondering when heâd call or knock on your door. He canât imagine you still doing that after he made you wait, but the one thing heâll do this time is go to where you are and tell you everything he needs to.Â
After the heartbreak he caused, he assumes youâd go to either your family or your friends. He remembers the way youâd talked about your mom in the past, and how her comfort was always the one you sought.
âDo you mind driving to Daegu?â Jungkook asks.Â
âNot at all,â Mr. Ri smiles. âI figure sheâll be there, too.â
The long drive feels that much longer with Jungkook in the passenger seat, just looking out the window and watching the buildings and houses pass him by. He turns to the man next to him every once in a while, asking about how you were during your last weeks in the office.
âShe was trying her best, making sure she had everything organized. She spent a lot of time with the team, too, and I think that lessened her guilt, because she felt that,â Mr. Ri shares. âShe hated that she had to leave at this time, but I knew it meant a lot to her that she was finally doing it.â
Jungkook hums, thankful that the team assured you that it was all okay. But still, he wondered some more, and the look on his face is something that the older man reads.Â
âShe hated that she had to leave you, too,â Mr. Ri adds. âI think it mattered to her that she didnât feel tied to your family through you, even if she was always going to be. It mattered that she made that choice to leave you, that she came to terms with who she is and her past and decided that it didnât matter, that she still wanted you despite all of that.â
âYou sound hopeful,â Jungkook laughs dryly. âThat makes one of us.â
âYou can tell how much someone cares by how they hurt, Jungkook. And during her farewell dinner when you didnât show up, she⊠she was hurt,â Mr. Ri says. âI had to wipe her tears that night. I think thatâs also when she realized how much she really felt for you, when she saw what life could be like without you and knew it wouldnât make her happy.â
Knowing he made you cry again when he wasnât there on your last day frustrates Jungkook. He held himself back that time, thinking that a short goodbye would be better for both of you. Then he spent the rest of the day at the Arts Center and heâd completely forgotten about the dinner. In his mind, he already let you go; seeing you another time would pain him again. But thatâs what hurt you in return.Â
âWhy are you going after her now?â Mr. Ri bursts through his thoughts. âAfter all these weeks of avoiding her, of convincing yourself that letting her go was the right decision, why now?â
âIt hurts so much without her. I guess itâs how I know.â
The older man gives a satisfied smile. He always knew that only both of you could decide for yourselves when the pain was too much because only both of you would really know what to do about it. You've done your part and now itâs Jungkookâs turn.
They make it to your neighborhood in over three hours, with only one stop over at a service center. Itâs the house in the corner, Mr. Ri says, and realizing that youâre so close again, Jungkook starts getting anxious. He doesnât exactly know what to say. He supposes that coming out here to see you on a work day is enough of a statement, and maybe youâll both just take it from there.
The car stops and he looks at the man to his left, as if pleading to take the lead for now.Â
âAish,â Mr. Ri huffs. âAre you really gonna make me ring the doorbell and ask for her after driving you all the way here?â
âYes,â Jungkook pouts. âI⊠I donât know what to say. What if she doesnât wanna see me because I made her wait too long? What if sheâs angry? What if she realized while waiting for me that she made a mistake?â
âOver three hours sitting in the car and thatâs what you came up with? That sheâs angry?â Mr. Ri scowls. âDonât make me think youâre hopeless.â
âPlease?âÂ
The older man sighs, thinking that Jungkook just needs time to pull himself together before facing you.Â
They both get out of the car, with Jungkook standing on the side of the entryway, hiding behind the shrubs just in case you answer the door.Â
Mr. Ri rings the doorbell and not long after, the gate opens. And for all the years that Jungkook has known the older man - with his firm and often stoic disposition - this is the first time that heâs ever seen his face soften, the gentle smile appearing and lingering. Thereâs a beat of silence, a moment of appreciation it seems, before he says anything.
âHye-soo. Itâs so nice to see you again.â
âByung-hun,â the woman greets. âItâs been so long. When was the last time we saw each other? Was it ___âs 25th birthday?â
âI think it was. That was a really great day. Your house looked much different back then.â
âWho knew an old house needed repairs and renovations to stay up,â she laughs. âBut it all worked out. Weâve got more space now.â
âSpace enough for Yoon-chae and Yeo-jin to run about?â Mr. Ri chuckles. âI remember their tag game then. They complained how it always ended so fast. But ___ also told me theyâve grown up so much now. And that they adore you. Howâs it like raising teenagers at this time?â
âAh, difficult,â she chuckles. âBut itâs wonderful. They⊠they truly see me as their mother and I⊠I get to do things right this time.â
âHey, you always did,â he comforts, having seen her do everything she could for you. âNo one couldâve raised and loved ___ better than you. You got through the toughest times because of that.â
âWith a little help, of course,â she smiles. âYou know I couldnât have done it without you. And years later, youâre still looking out for her. That means the world to me.â
Sheâs where all my love goes to, Mr. Ri doesnât say. He knew early on that the only way to not lose himself in losing her is to care for the one person she loves the most - you.
âAnd you? Have you been well?â Hye-soo asks.Â
âAs well as I could be,â he hums. âThe stress isnât the same as when I was working next to Jae-sung but he still tasked me to babysit his son; that in itself is a bit tough.â
âAnd why is that?â Hye-soo giggles, knowing thereâs affection in his words.
âHeâs a bit of a hard-head, you know? Pretty stubborn, too, just like his father,â Mr. Ri laments, disregarding the scrunched eyebrows of the man just meters away from him. âAnd he makes me drive all the way out here, only to be scared to face the woman heâs been looking for.â
âIs that so?â Hye-soo asks, picking up on the man in front of him gesturing towards the side. âI hope he knows that he has nothing to be afraid of.â
Mr. Ri finally turns to Jungkook, motioning for him to get out of hiding and do what he came here for. Jungkook sighs in his place, thinking that this is the first time heâs meeting your mother, and itâs after heâd made you wait and think that he doesnât feel the same way. With his head bowed down, he walks towards the gate.Â
Thereâs a softness on his face when he looks up, and Hye-soo beams in delight at how the man she hasnât seen in over 20 years looks very much like the 10-year old boy who used to quietly draw cars and houses on the Jeon mansion living room floor. Itâs that same shyness and those same wide and curious eyes that made her have a soft spot for the younger son. They reminded her so much of you.Â
âJungkook,â she says with such warmth. âYouâve grown up so well. Itâs nice to see you after all these years.â
She definitely has your smile. Itâs welcoming and assuring and perhaps the one thing he didnât know he needed before seeing you. Thereâs so much comfort in her eyes, and thereâs this subtle strength that she exudes, one thatâs oddly giving him the courage to face you.Â
âMrs. Cho,â he bows. âItâs nice to finally meet you. I wish it was because of other reasons, though.â
âWhatâs wrong about the reason you have today?â She wonders.Â
âA lot of things,â he sighs.
âNonsense. Youâre here. Thatâs all that matters,â she smiles. âWould you like to come in?â
âThat would be great.â
Jungkook follows inside while Mr. Ri opts to stay behind.Â
Thereâs something special about entering someoneâs house. People spend time and energy to make it feel like home, to make it be a place of safety and warmth. Itâs a place filled with all the things they care about, of all the things they love.Â
Jungkook never designed the places heâs lived in; an irony, considering his profession. But his residences have always been a place for him to just move into, to just sleep and eat and work at. Theyâve always been⊠empty - grand, expensive, well-designed, but empty. Theyâre superficial, he would say, a reflection of what heâs always felt. Which is also why he never really welcomes anyone other than his friends. The women he used to bring home donât count - heâd let them in and make them leave; he never makes them stay long enough to be comfortable, to feel like they belong there. Sometimes he doesnât feel like he belongs there, either, as if itâs a place reserved just for him to feel alone in.Â
And so being welcomed in someone elseâs home feels different. Youâd done it to him, and being in your apartment both times made him feel at ease and familiar. Now, your mother welcomes him to the place where you grew up and it feels the same - thereâs that comfort, that sense of nostalgia, even if he knows heâs never been here before.
âWelcome to our humble mansion,â your mother says. âPlease, feel at home. Would you like some tea?â
âUh, yes. Tea is fine,â he bows.
She heads to the kitchen and Jungkook is left to look around. Itâs not a small house but itâs not large, either. Heâs in the middle of a spacious living room, with shelves lining up the walls - one has family pictures in it, the other one has books and small framed paintings. The dining and kitchen are to the right; on the left is a hallway that seems to lead towards the bedrooms. Thereâs a screened door that also leads out the backyard.Â
The entire space is airy, with lots of natural light coming through the windows. He spots some renovations done over time, as thereâs some mismatch of materials, something only trained eyes could see. But theyâre done well, and he could see the love that created this home for all of you.Â
Your mother returns with two cups and places them on the table. She asks him to sit down, and Jungkook makes himself comfortable, facing the door as he gazes out at the sky and admires the beautiful changing of the colors. He knows youâd probably admire how it looks, too.
She observes him - nervous as he meets her eyes, a kind of desperation and fear evident as he constantly shifts on his seat. Heâs grown up so much, but heâs still that shy little boy she remembers meeting all those years ago. She used to regularly go to the Jeon estate for some private events, and she wonât forget how Jungkook was the son who always kept to himself, content with a sketchpad and some crayons or riding the swing in his custom-built playground.Â
âDo you remember me at all?â She wonders.Â
âNo,â he shakes his head. âDid I see you often?â
âA handful of times,â she responds. âYour father introduced me to you and your brother when I first started and Iâd see you whenever I had to go to your house. But you were always so shy.â
âI was, but I⊠I wasnât really good at paying attention. And I guess, there were a lot of things from when I was younger that I donât remember,â he explains.Â
The faraway look in his eyes says that thereâs more to that, that they arenât just things he doesnât remember but theyâre memories he tries not to, that he blocks out.Â
âIâm sorry about what you had to go through as a child,â your mother says, having wanted to express her apology for years, knowing how much the experience haunted him. âI involved your parents in a very personal matter and that deeply affected your family. It affected you.â
âIt wasnât your fault. And I know it wasnât my parentsâ, either,â he sighs, feeling regret over the resentment he felt and the distance he created.Â
âThey were just trying to protect you. I hope you know that now.â
âI do,â he hums. âDo you⊠do you know what happened that night? In the woods?â
âByung-hun told me,â she nods. âIâve never seen him so broken over not finding you sooner. He carried that guilt with him, too, that he didnât look out for you the way he shouldâve.â
âI⊠I didnât know that.â
âThat man feels a lot even if he doesnât show it. Heâs got the biggest heart that I know and he cares for you so much,â she smiles. âA lot of people do. That includes my daughter.â
At the mention of you, Jungkookâs eyes perk up, the softness mixed with sadness evident once more.
âShe and I didnât want our ties to your family to be known,â she explains. âIt was a way for us to move on from all that happened. But in no way did she mean to deceive you. She⊠she would talk about you with such admiration and fondness. And you showed her that it was okay to let people in, that it could be worth it to follow her heart. Sheâd hoped that you could see past her decisions and know that she was sincere about everything. That she was sincere about what she felt for you.â
âI⊠I know that now.â
âAnd I suppose thatâs why youâre here?â
âIt is,â he sighs, wanting so badly to see you, even if he doesnât know how to say everything he wants to. âIs she around?â
Thereâs a prolonged silence after his question, and your motherâs eyes flit to the far end of the house before they return to him.Â
âShe, uh, she picked up the girls from school and decided to have dinner out and watch the movies,â she excuses. âIâm not quite sure what time theyâll arrive. And itâs a shame that you came all the way here. Is there anything you want me to tell her?â
Jungkook debates whether he should wait to say all this to you, perhaps when youâre ready and able to see him, or to say what he can now, knowing itâs important that he gets to express whatever he can at this moment, knowing it will get to you somehow.Â
But he also doesnât know how much longer he can hold everything in. All the emotions he feels for you - the regret, the yearning, the desire to have you next to him - have been festering and he just needs to say them. Maybe doing so in front of your mother might be a bit of pressure, but if thereâs anyone who can relay all this to you, it would be her.
âThereâs a lot of things Iâm not good at, Mrs. Cho. Opening myself up is one of them,â he starts. âBut your daughter, she⊠she showed me that it wasnât so bad. That itâs something Iâm capable of doing, and that itâs safe to do that with her. Even when I distanced myself, she didnât go anywhere, and that does a lot for a person.â
âSheâs quite stubborn, isnât she?â Your mother laughs, remembering those hard times when sheâd tell you to get ready for bed, with you disobeying her because you wanted to hold her hand while she cried.
âShe is,â he echoes. âItâs one of the reasons why I like her. One of many, actually. Sheâs also so patient and gentle and understanding⊠everything Iâm not but⊠all the things I want to be for her. And I wish Iâd told her all this when I had the chance but I was so blinded by my own needs that I⊠I eventually pushed her away. But she was still the one to reach out. She left that letter but I only saw it today and IâŠâ
âCame all the way here to see her,â she finishes.Â
âIs it too late, do you think?â
âBetween the both of us, not at all,â your mother smiles. âSheâs all those things you said but sheâs human, Jungkook. She gets scared, too, and hard-headed and tired and upset because she feels so much when she allows herself to do that. And sometimes she needs someone to just show her that itâs worth it, that having fears is valid but that theyâre not the only things out there. And you being here⊠I think itâs what she needs.â
She pauses so he could process her words, meeting his eyes so he could feel them even more.Â
âYouâre all she thinks about, you know? She likes being home with us and sheâs excited for her new job but I can tell that thereâs something missing. And I know that's you.â
âSheâs all I think about, too,â he expresses, feeling more at ease now. âIt doesnât matter what Iâm doing or where I am, I just always think about being with her. And I know that made her doubt, too. Iâve gotten so used to her presence but thatâs not out of necessity. Iâm not⊠a boss when Iâm with her. Iâm just⊠me. Because she made me see myself as someone beyond all that I do, someone worthy, and itâs that person who wants her, who needs her.â
Jungkook bows his head, angry at himself as all the words come out now, at a time when youâre not in front of him to hear them, to see that he means all of them. For weeks, all the things you said rang in his mind and every time you were in front of him, there were so many things he wanted to say but he never could, afraid of your rejection, of losing you for good. Now theyâre out in the open, but somehow the words donât seem enough. He realizes that when it comes to what he feels for you, nothing is.Â
âThese are the things I shouldâve said to her but I just got overwhelmed at the thought of losing her,â he continues. âI donât want that, Mrs. Cho. I donât want to lose your daughter. I want to be with her and tell her that she doesnât have to be scared anymore, that I want to protect her and take care of her. I want to make her happy.â
Itâs the most heâs said about how he feels for you, and he feels quite overwhelmed about expressing them. But he has to say them. You have to know, even if youâre not the one in front of him. Theyâll get to you, heâs sure of it.
âI know she wants that, too, Jungkook. And seeing you now, I just know youâll find your way to each other again, and youâll both be free from whatever it was that was holding you back,â she assures. âBut if itâs not too much, do you mind being a little patient with her this time?â
âOf course,â he nods, knowing that everything thatâs happened could make you a bit cautious again, and thatâs not something he could blame you for. Heâll give you as much time as you need, and youâll be the one to find him once youâre ready. âIâll just be where I always am. And uh, the Arts Center opens tomorrow. It would be great if she could come.â
âSheâll know where to find you,â she smiles.Â
He feels that heâs said all that he could, so he finishes his tea and stands up. He remembers that he bought something for you, initially hoping that it would make you smile once he gave them.Â
âCould you, uh, could you give this to her?â He asks, handing your mother a plastic bag, somehow feeling ashamed that this is all he got as a peace offering.Â
She peeks inside, her eyes widening in delight.
âChocopie?âÂ
âYeah,â he smiles shyly. âI wouldâve given her flowers but I just thought this would make her happier. ___ told me that itâs her favorite because youâd give it to her as a treat while she waited for you to get off work at the school. She said it always made her day.â
âThis was your favorite, too, wasnât it?â Your mother asks.Â
âIt was. My mother said I always hoarded the ones sheâd bring home and wouldnât share it with anyone,â Jungkook chuckles, recalling those days of stacking them in his room and quietly eating them while he drew houses on his drawing pad.Â
âYou shared it to ___, though,â she says.
It catches him by surprise. Heâs never done that, as far as he knows. This is the first time heâs even getting it for you.Â
âThat night those years ago, after I told your father what was happening, he offered us to stay at the staff house of your familyâs estate until Iâve sorted things out,â she recalls. âWe were in the living room while your parents talked to me and there was little ___, hiding behind my legs. I noticed her let go for a bit and thatâs when I saw you, handing her some chocopie. She was always a shy kid but she took what you were giving, and I remember the smile on her face. Everything was new and scary for her and that⊠that was the first time she smiled that day. And Iâll never forget it.â
Jungkook stands in silence, as much of his memories from those years have been buried deep in his mind. He remembers hiding away whenever there were visitors at home but perhaps he looked on, curious about the girl who seemed scared and maybe something prompted him to share the treat with you, and something pushed you to take it.Â
âI thought she was just being nice,â your mother continues. âShe didnât really like sweets then but she ate the ones you gave her. And when Iâd take her to the convenience store after that, itâs what she always picked out. Iâve just been getting it for her since then, and thatâs probably what she remembers but it was you, Jungkook. Youâre why I bought it for her every time.â
âWeâve⊠weâve met before. And I didnât even know,â he manages to say, thinking now about the familiarity of your presence and the need to always look out for you.Â
Itâs something he always wondered about, how someone could just pull him in and make him feel things heâd never felt before - that comfort, that warmth, that desire to be good for someone else. It turns out, heâd felt those long before he knew much about the world. And while so many things happened that got both of you here, thereâs still something serendipitous about not realizing you met as kids, and then finding each other decades later. Thereâs all this pain and sadness between the both of you, much of them intertwined, but at the end of it, you heal each other, you make each other stronger, braver.Â
âShe didnât know, either,â your mother hums. âAnd this just means that she always kept something of you from that day. Without realizing it, you were always a good memory that she kept; you let her forget the bad things even though she'd forgotten about you, too. Itâs how I know that even if sheâs not the one in front of you right now, her heart will always search for you.â
Your motherâs smile is reassuring, as if she knows that itâs what he needs. Heâd meant to find you today and tell you everything he feels, but somehow he believes it wouldâve been hard for him to do that, and so expressing it is all he could do. He feels like heâs gotten so much despite not seeing you though. Learning that missing part of his childhood that had you in it is overwhelming enough, but perhaps it reinforces what heâs known all along - that his heart will also always search for you, itâll always find you, and it will always be what he wants to hold close to him.
âThank you for welcoming me to your home, Mrs. Cho,â he says as he bows another time and heads out to leave. âIt means a lot meeting you today.â
âIt does for me, too,â she states, leading him towards the door and out to the street where Mr. Ri waits. âAnd thank you for being good to my daughter. Sheâll find you. You have to trust that she will.â
He nods, knowing heâll just have to have faith in what you feel for him. And he hopes that as he walks away and gives you the space you need, youâll trust in what he feels for you, too.
Your mother bids you and Mr. Ri goodbye, the longing look between friends hitting Jungkook deeply. Theyâre each otherâs what ifâs, and while one was able to live out another love, the other kept living out the one he let go of. Itâs painful, and Jungkook now canât imagine making that choice of letting you go completely.Â
Love is a big word. Itâs something heâs forgotten how to feel. He knows thereâs still so much more to experience with you and love could be one thing, and thatâs a possibility heâs sure he wants to live out one day.
He enters the car and sighs as he sinks in his seat. Itâs been a long day and an even longer trip back home, but Mr. Ri insists that they take it.
The older man starts the car and looks dejectedly to his side. âSo, she wasnât there, huh?â
It takes a while but Jungkook answers. âShe was.â
Itâs a wild guess, but somehow he knew you were there, probably inside one of the opened rooms or in the hallway, just meters away from him but still so far away. Your mother had said you were out, but the way her eyes constantly flitted elsewhere, the way she gave him the time and space to just talk and express his feelings, and the fact that sheâd shared that story about both of you meeting as children as if she meant to say it to you, too, all told him that you were right there.Â
Maybe you hadnât expected him to come. Maybe you didnât know what to say this time. Or maybe you thought that seeing you would leave him tongue-tied again, unable to express everything he means, and you wouldnât be wrong. He just focused on what he felt and not the right things to say or how youâd react at that moment, and he supposes that allowed him to be vulnerable, too.Â
âAnd youâre not there with her because?â Mr. Ri wonders.Â
âBecause she needs time,â Jungkook states. âAnd itâs the least I could give her. And Iâll wait until sheâs ready. Weâve spent all these months avoiding each other, thinking that letting each other go is the way to move forward but I⊠I know thatâs not what I want. She is. And Iâll show her I mean it.â
âWell, you went to her. And thatâs not all youâre doing.â
âIâm not good with words, you know that,â Jungkook shakes his head.
âI do. She knows that, too. So when she sees everything that youâve done⊠sheâll know you mean it.â
It's the assurance that Jungkook needs, and heâll hold onto that, too, until the time you find him again. Right now, heâll focus on the Arts Center - he owes it to you to make sure that all the work you put into it is worth it. He knows youâll want that, too.Â
The long drive to Daegu had him think about how much of yourself youâve given to the project that means the world to him. You may have done so because it was your job, but he canât help but think that in the midst of it, you saw what he was yearning for, what he was trying to attain for himself, and that it mattered to you that he did.Â
Jungkook and Mr. Ri go to a restaurant for dinner on the way back to Seoul, and the serious expression on the older manâs face has returned. This is his default state, but his soft, longing look is something that Jungkook wonât forget soon.
âHow was it like seeing her after all these years?â Jungkook wonders. âDoes⊠does it still hurt, knowing what could have been and the life she lives now?â
It takes a while but Mr. Ri finally replies. âIn an alternate universe, Hye-soo and I are living with our family on some farm. We talked about that a few times, about wanting to grow old in a place thatâs peaceful,â he recalls, all those long drives and hectic days becoming worth it whenever he shared them with her. âBut this is the universe and lifetime Iâm living now. The decisions I made brought me here, but they also set her free. Youâve met her, youâve seen her home. Sheâs happy where she is and even if itâs not next to me, thatâs the life I always wish sheâd have.â
Jungkook hums, unable to fully comprehend the heartbreak of letting someone go like that, and then seeing them live a life that he couldâve shared with them. Thinking about meeting you at a park or something years from now, perhaps with a husband or children, and then wondering what wouldâve happened if he didnât let you go plagues him. Thatâs not the life he wants. Itâs not a decision he wants to make, and he could only hope that neither do you.Â
He looks across at the man in front of him with all that love for the woman he canât have, and Jungkook wonders where all of that goes, recalling a conversation from not long ago, when Mr. Ri first revealed about a woman heâs held onto for years.Â
âDoes it all go to ___, then? All that love?âÂ
âIt does,â Mr. Ri hums. âIt also goes to your family, Jungkook. It goes to you. Those have kept me going all these years and they always will, so seeing you and ___ care for each other means a lot to me, too.â
Itâs a comforting thought, knowing that at the end of everything, Mr. Ri still finds happiness in others, that he hasnât allowed himself to fall into a kind of despair that paralyzes him. Jungkook recalls growing up and seeing the older man always by his fatherâs side, joining him on his trips and then coming back with some treats that he gives to Jungkook and his brother. When he was in Singapore, Mr. Ri visited often, showing up whenever he had a project launch. Jungkook also knows that he stayed in Canada for a few months, helping Jeong-sik recover after an accident left him with broken limbs.Â
And there was that incident that Jungkook carries with him, how he was powerless and alone under the rain but it was Mr. Ri who searched for him, who didnât give up, who dealt with that guilt for years. And Jungkook doesnât know if heâs ever thanked the man for all heâs done.Â
They engage in light talk for the rest of dinner. Jungkook offers to drive the rest of the way home, insisting that itâs a way for him to preoccupy himself instead of thinking about you. They spend it recalling his growing up years, how he slowly isolated himself, and then how he gradually opened up again. The older man expresses how proud he is, that regardless of what happens after all this, Jungkook pursued his happiness, and thatâs what matters.
âThank you, for uh, for everything,â Jungkook says as he exits the car, hoping that his simple words would convey all his emotions.Â
Thereâs a softness on Mr. Riâs face this time, one that Jungkook has seen only twice in his lifetime, both of which were today. It speaks of care and warmth; he knows now that it also speaks of love.
You lay on your motherâs lap, needing the comfort you always felt whenever she held you close and ran her fingers through your hair. Itâs something she always did when you were a child, and she knows that despite having grown up, you need it now just as much as you did before. She doesnât say much, letting the silence of your bedroom envelope the both of you this Thursday evening.Â
Itâs been a roller coaster of emotions this past week, and today pretty much took you on a deep plunge that has you holding onto your chest and wanting the stability of being on the ground. After you left that letter on Jungkookâs desk last Thursday, you stayed in your apartment and waited for days.Â
In hindsight, maybe it was silly that you stayed put when you couldâve called or gone back to his office in an attempt to talk to him. But you werenât sure what he was feeling, if he was harboring resentment for how you chose to leave, or if he was too busy with the Arts Center opening to even think about you. He kept himself busy during your last weeks after all, and he missed your farewell dinner, too.Â
That letter was your way of expressing yourself without the fear of outright rejection. And giving him that decision to find you was your way of telling him that it was his call, that if he still wanted you, youâd be waiting for him. And thatâs what you did, day in and day out - you waited for that knock on the door or for the ring of your phone.Â
It drove you crazy, thinking that you could be with him already, but the possibility of him also deciding that thatâs no longer what he wanted plagued your mind; itâs what kept you from making that call or paying him a visit. There was that part of you that couldnât help but think that he mightâve wanted things to just remain as they are. It made you realize that despite taking that step of being brave, there was still fear within you that held you back.
The hope dwindled by the weekend despite the comforting conversation you had with your neighbor, and on Tuesday afternoon, the sadness took over. You packed your bags and decided that if you were to get over this, being with your family is where you need to be. You knew your mother would convince you to wait for Jungkook a little longer. Sheâd be the reasonable one and say that maybe heâd missed the letter. And she may be right, but if you were to pursue him again, you knew you needed to be around people you loved to give you back that strength and confidence.
It turns out, your mother was right. Jungkook did miss the letter. It took him days to see it, and he didnât waste his time and went to find you right away. Perhaps that certainty that youâve been needing is what turns out to be the one that overwhelms you in the end. You walked out of your room to find him in your living room, and you froze. You stayed rooted in that hallway, listening to him talk about what he felt for you, and all you could do was hug your knees as you sat on the floor, taking his words in, hoping theyâd heal your heart as quickly as his silence broke it.
âDo you think he knew I was there?â You look up to your mother in question.Â
âI think he did,â she hums. âI doubt he wouldâve said as much as he did to me, someone heâs just met, unless he knew you could hear him. He had this look on his eyes - it was sad and sincere, full of regret but also of hope. And it just felt like was baring himself right there, hoping youâd know exactly what he felt.â
You think about it. Knowing Jungkook, he wouldnât have let himself be that vulnerable to someone that easily, even if it was in front of your mother. Heâs not always able to express himself to you, and maybe thatâs why. Maybe like you, he loses his words and caves in in front of the person he wants. Itâs happened so many times to you, and itâs one reason you chose a letter to express your feelings; saying it to him directly with all the uncertainties just terrified you.Â
But heâd been bold, heâd been honest. And you got to hear his every word, and you believed all of it.
âWhy didnât you want to see him?â she asks, given that youâd shaken your head when she looked at you after heâd asked if you were around. âWhat were you so afraid of?â
âI donât know,â you sigh. âIt felt so long being without him, and I was holding onto this hope after leaving that letter and then the wait just⊠it discouraged me. Somehow seeing him there paralyzed me a little,â you explain. âSuddenly I wasnât ready. I had all these feelings that were hanging in the air and to hear that he returned all those was just⊠I⊠I was overwhelmed because he was finally within reach.â
âBoth of you are in this constant push and pull thatâs keeping you from each other,â she points out. âAt some point, youâll have to just get over the fear and meet him where he is and heâll have to do the same. No one wins in fear, darling. Werenât you the one who told me I owed it to myself to give Min-woo a chance? Youâre the one who said it was better to be scared with him next to me than to be scared alone.â
âEasy to say that when Iâm on the outside, it seems,â you chuckle. âI get what you were feeling then, mom, and I understand now how hard it mustâve been.â
âThatâs true, so youâre gonna have to trust me that what you said was true - it was better that I was scared with him next to me than if I was alone,â she repeats. âBut I made that choice and it was the best one, because I canât be any happier than I am now because I let him love me, and I allowed myself to love him. You and Jungkook could do that. You just have to trust that itâs all worth it.â
You nod. At the end of the day, you know it makes a difference that itâs your mother reminding you all of this. Itâs her pain that you carried, itâs why you were always scared of opening up and sharing your whole self to another person. And itâs also why it matters that itâs her happiness that she reminds you of that pushes you to get over your fear, or at least, to choose to be with Jungkook in spite of it.Â
She tucks you in bed and tells you to get some sleep now. Itâll be a busy day tomorrow, she says, as you have to make that long trip back to Seoul in time for the Arts Center opening.Â
âAs your mother, Iâm kicking you out of my house,â she teases. âYou are to head out there and tell that man how you really feel, okay? I wonât allow you back here until heâs with you.â
âThatâs unfair,â you pout.
âIt is, but so is keeping yourself away from him,â she shakes her head. âYou take after me so much. Stop being stubborn.â
You laugh this time, knowing that while itâs that stubbornness that pushed Jungkook to open up to you, itâs that same trait thatâs keeping you away from him.
âI will. And Iâll head out tomorrow,â you promise. âIâm so tired of being sad.â
âGood. No one gets tired from being happy, so thatâs what you should try to be.â
Jungkook stares at himself in the mirror, tightening his necktie and then spending half a minute to determine if itâs aligned or not.Â
Itâs something heâs started doing. Itâs been weeks since you left and stopped doing it for him, and even if Lucas has pointed out a few times that it was crooked, the younger man never really attempted to fix it. Jungkook didnât really have a choice but to learn how to do it himself. For an architect with trained eyes, heâs ironically terrible at assessing something as simple as this. He never knows if heâs done it right, and heâll always be amazed at how you do it.Â
He finally decides heâs done it correctly, and he takes his coat to complete his look for the biggest day of his professional life. He opts for the classic suit this time, needing that refinement and elegance that a Kim Taehyung tailored outfit gives. Despite his best friendâs suggestions of trying something a little different, Jungkook insisted that simple is what he wants - the attention shouldnât be on him, adamant that a textured charcoal ensemble would do its job. The pattern differentiates it from an ordinary suit so he at least doesnât blend in too much and itâs a good compromise. You agreed with him on this months ago, and hearing you assure him that it looks good on him is something heâs missing.
He shakes his head at the thought. Here he is again, his mind going to you. Perhaps itâs his bodyâs way of dealing with the nerves; somehow thinking of you calms him down even if youâre not around. Youâve always had that effect on him, and with the unveiling of most important project of his life as the companyâs Vice President, that composure and confidence is what he needs.Â
It doesnât stop him from wishing that youâd taken to heart what he said yesterday, not just about what he feels but about finding him. You know most of the details of todayâs opening, and if you wanted to, youâd come to show your support even if he kept you in the dark during your last weeks. And if you really wanted to, youâd come to tell him that you want to be with him, and that youâre not going to walk away this time.Â
Itâs difficult to have today, of all days, be somewhat of a determinant of how things are going to go for both of you. Heâll definitely wait for as long as he needs to until youâre ready to face him again, but if itâs not today, heâs afraid thereâs more thatâs holding you back, and that not getting to you early on mustâve really hurt you.Â
But heâll keep on, as so much has happened for this day to be as successful as he hopes it to be. Hoseok constantly reminds him of the entire teamâs hard work and that itâs what will pull him through. But beyond the expectations from his parents and the Board and past the importance for the artists involved, this was Jungkookâs dream as a professional, and he made it happen. Heâll hold out hope until the last moment that heâll see you there, though, but if he doesnât, heâll just have to deal with your absence like heâs been doing these past weeks.
Jungkook exits his bedroom and gets approving looks from his best friends whoâll be his support system for today. Heâd gone to the Arts Center early in the morning despite last nightâs long trip back to Seoul, wanting to make sure that everything was okay. It took some reprimanding from his father to finally go home to fix up, the older man claiming that Jungkook will need to collect himself before all the activities in the afternoon.Â
Thereâs an interview with the Culture Minister, a press conference right after, and an afternoon tea spread in the nearby hotel for all the artists whose work will be exhibited for the opening - all before the ceremony scheduled for 5PM. Itâs a big day and an even bigger evening, and heâll have to preserve his energy and learn to manage, and itâs the first big event without you. He knows itâll be hard, so do his friends, which is why they're here to show their support and lend their energy when needed.
âYou look like the star of the show,â Seokjin praises. âItâs a really good suit.â
âThe stars of the show are the artists, actually,â Jungkook corrects. âAnd the public. It isnât me.â
âToo bad. Itâs a simple suit but youâre styled to still get attention so own it,â Taehyung states. âYou look really good, Kook. So chin up, okay? Itâs all gonna be fine.â
Jungkook tries to smile, hoping that faking it would eventually make it look real.
âWe know itâs tough and you wish you could share it with ___, but just think that sheâd want you to enjoy this either way,â Seokjin comforts. âYou also owe it to her to give it your best today.â
He knows his friends are right. So many things had to come together for today to happen. Everyone involved did their parts. He heard that thereâs so much buzz on social media about the Arts Center and the registration that opened to the public exceeded expectations, and thatâs only the beginning. Thinking of all the possibilities excites him, and heâll hold onto that to get him through the day. Or the week and even beyond that, if needed.Â
Jungkook nods and thanks his friends, saying that it means a lot that theyâre there for him. It catches them by surprise because heâs not one to easily express gratitude or any level of sentimentality. They suppose itâs what having you around had done for him, and maybe losing you also reminded him of the importance of being vulnerable.Â
They head to the hotel thatâs one block away from the Arts Center. Jungkook goes through the interview with ease, and with the support of his father, Hoseok, Ji-woo, and Lucas, he manages the press conference, too. He takes some time to collect himself after all that engagement, then he proceeds to the event hall to meet with the artists, curators, and craftspeople and show his appreciation.Â
He feels a sense of accomplishment already just knowing that theyâre as excited as he is. The inaugural exhibitions feature their work, and the products created to commemorate them are all beautiful. Itâs truly come together, he thinks, and he allows himself to feel pride for the first time, knowing that more than the structure, itâs the connections and the art that theyâre all celebrating, and itâs what he always hoped to achieve with this project.
Itâs not long after when he finds himself in the Arts Center, first doing the customary ribbon cutting with his father and the Culture Minister before entering the lobby where heâll give the formal welcome and signal the official opening of the center.Â
It feels different with so many people present, all awaiting to see how the structure was renovated and what new features theyâll look forward to. Thereâs a buzz of excitement that Jungkook internalizes, as he sits on a chair by the stage. He watches on as his father and cousins go around to meet the guests, opting to save his energy for his speech. Itâs the feel of his motherâs touch that makes him realize heâs shaking, and he turns to her and is met with her warm smile. Itâs been a while since he allowed that to comfort him, and at this moment, itâs what he needs.Â
âIt already looks gorgeous, son,â she assures him. âAnd youâre going to do amazing up there. People listen when you talk, and they believe in what you say. Iâve seen it. So just trust in yourself, okay? At the end of the day, the structure speaks for itself, and thatâs what the people will remember.â
âThank you, mother,â Jungkook smiles back. âAnd thank you for staying here with me. And uh, for all the other project launches that you attended.â
âOf course, Jungkook. Iâll always be there to support you,â she says. âAnything that makes you happy makes me happy. Anything that you work on will be something Iâm proud of. Never forget that.â
He nods, feeling a little lighter the more he accepts the love and support of those around him. He never really knew what that felt like, and he knows thatâs all on him. Heâll try to change that now, and he supposes that expressing and receiving gratitude is one thing that he took from you. He just hopes he gets to have an opportunity to thank you again - he wouldnât have done any of this without you.
Chin-sun approaches him to say that theyâll begin shortly, and Jungkook looks at the growing crowd one last time, that sliver of hope that heâll see you keeping him going. There are so many moving parts to this entire project, but he knows heâs not alone. After tonight, he can breathe easy and look back at the year thatâs passed and know that he put his all into this, and that it turned out to be exactly how he imagined it to be.Â
Itâs not long after when the program begins. CEO Jeon gives his opening remarks, followed by the Culture Minister, before Jungkook takes the stage. Itâs a much longer speech he gives this time, as he wants to make sure that he gets to thoughtfully express his hope and purpose for the Arts Center. He talks briefly about its conception and then delves into the ideas of connection and intimacy, how he wants art to be experienced by people as both spectators and creators, and that he wants this to be a hub for people to create meaning, all while celebrating Korean culture in an environment that reflects the merging of tradition and modernism.Â
He keeps his eye contact with the audience, and he sees their warm reception to his words. A video plays to introduce the artists and craftspeople who are featured, and then he ends with thanking everyone who was involved in the process - from the laborers, suppliers, and contractors, to the Board, the investors, and the executive team. He gives a special message to his project team and management support team, asking them to join him on stage because they deserve all the praise for how the Center turned out.Â
Thereâs a resounding applause, and once thatâs settled, he finally asks for all the doors to be opened.Â
âThere are so many things to explore here,â he says. âPlease savor every space you enter and take your time. The meaning of art is something only you could define but the beauty is in the experience, and the experience is even more fulfilling when it is shared. Thank you very much and have a good evening.â
He watches the crowd disperse and he releases a breath. The night is far from over and the toughest part for him is just about to start, and thatâs going around to see how everything is being received. His mother greets him after, congratulating him again. Hoseok and Ji-woo tell him how proud they are, and his father gives him that assuring nod, with words expressing pride and encouragement accompanying it.Â
Jungkook quickly meets the team and gives instructions on how to divide and conquer before he heads to one of the performance halls. He sees Yoongi hanging around and thereâs a warm smile on his friendâs face, a rarity because itâs not usually directed at him.
âYouâre getting the hang of these speeches,â Yoongi hums. â___ would be proud.â
âOnly if sheâd heard it,â Jungkook sighs. âI looked around but I didnât see her. Do you⊠do you know if sheâs here?â
Yoongi shakes his head. âI havenât heard from her. Iâm sorry.â
Jungkook nods, knowing heâll slowly have to accept that maybe youâre not ready yet, or that asking you to find him here at a time when there are so many people might have been too much. Thereâs hope that youâll give him a call or maybe meet him at another time. He understands what you mustâve felt while you waited for him, and he hates himself for making you go through that. Itâs excruciating being on the receiving end of it, and itâs only been a few hours.Â
âLet me know if you see her,â Jungkook instructs. âIâll just beâŠâ
âAround,â Yoongi chuckles. âI will. But your job continues, so go out there and find out what people are saying. Iâll be on the lookout for her.â
Jungkook thanks him and continues visiting the different halls, engaging with the artists and Board members and some other visitors along the way. He searches for your face in every space he enters, exiting them in disappointment when he doesnât find you there. His heart slowly breaks, and he hangs on for a little longer until he starts to feel too much, with the tiredness from being on the go the entire day getting to him.Â
Itâs a hard call but he decides to leave. Hoseok assures him that itâs okay; heâs talked to every important person already and thatâs enough. People will explore for as long as the Center is open, and heâs got the project and support teams to hold the fort for him. Thereâs not much else he needs to do anyway; their subsidiary company tasked to manage the operations has already taken over, and Jungkookâs main tasks have been fulfilled. It eases him, knowing that heâs not abandoning anyone by deciding to step out.Â
As the hours go by with no sight of you, the heavier he feels. He needs time alone, not just because his batteryâs gone out but also to just wallow in the sadness. Itâs pitiful but it seems better than constantly hoping heâd see you here while being surrounded by so many people.
He goes to one final area before heading out. Itâs the most special one, the one he dedicates to you, the one he hopes youâd one day see and know that he thought of you everyday, even during the days when it didnât seem like it. He wonders if youâll like it, if it would remind you of what you grew up with, and if it would be a place for you to feel safe and free and happy in, all the things heâd wished youâd feel with him.
One last look and thereâs still no sign of you. He calls Mr. Ri and asks to be dropped off at the office. It seems like a better place to be in when heâs sad and upset.Â
The building is empty on a Friday night. Everyoneâs either at the Arts Center or gone home and heâs ironically the one craving for the loneliness of this place. Heâs committed himself to his job for a decade and doesnât know much of who he is outside of it. He learned a bit of that in the midst of the biggest change heâs experienced and the most challenging year heâs had, and it was through you.Â
He learned that heâs actually quite caring, that thereâs a protective side to him, that he steps up and shows up when heâs needed, and that he finds joy and peace in the outdoors. Heâs passionate and a perfectionist but he wants to be a bit spontaneous, too. He makes mistakes and can apologize for them. Heâs capable of kindness and in some instances, enjoys the company of other people with whom he can observe and laugh with. Being alone often made him feel lonely, and he realized that heâs someone who craves companionship, who wants intimacy, and that heâs someone willing to be vulnerable and share himself with the right person. And while he tends to be impatient most times, with you, heâs willing to wait. And for you, heâll try to be better.
He enters his office and lets the silence envelope him. The city looks alive from his window but thereâs dullness from within. Heâll get over it, he thinks, but until then, that sadness will remain for as long as youâre not in his life, for as long as youâre not next to him.
You look at yourself in the mirror, the elegance of your rose-colored midi dress a contrast to the stress painted all over your face. You give yourself only a few seconds to admire how you look - thereâs a bit of that sexiness from the v-neckline and front slit, and the flutter sleeves and other vintage details lend to a classic look. Your hair isnât as fixed as you want and your makeup is too pale for your liking, but with time no longer on your side, those are the least of your problems.Â
You couldnât sleep last night despite your mother insisting that you get some rest. The image of Jungkook leaving your house plagued your mind. You shouldâve ran after him and told him that you were sorry, that it doesnât matter anymore if you waited, for as long as he found you. You shouldâve stopped him to say that you wanted to be with him, that you were done with running away from what you really wanted, and that youâre willing to always be brave for as long as he held your hand and eased your worries. You shouldâve gone back to Seoul with him, but youâd been too overwhelmed to move, to speak, to chase after what youâve been yearning for.Â
Deciding to come to the Arts Center opening wasnât always certain. You knew you were going to visit one day. You worked hard on it, too, and you wanted to show your support even if Jungkook would never know. But when he asked you to find him there, you knew you had to go right away. You imagined him making that speech that you helped him draft months ago, donned in the gray outfit that Taehyung was proud to make for him. You envisioned the smile heâd have on as he looked around to see all his plans come to life and the visitors taking it all in.Â
You just didnât expect to sleep through your alarm and then miss the train by a minute. The travel wasnât bad. The chocopies that Jungkook got you kept you satisfied the entire trip, but it was halfway back to Seoul when you realized that you didnât have anything nice enough to wear. The ones you have are either too formal, too casual, or meant for a night out.Â
Taehyung had designed a dress for you but you said it was no longer necessary after you resigned; it was fortunate that he hadnât started making it yet, and so the guilt wasnât too much. You didnât want to go to the opening in just anything. While it mattered to get there, you didnât want to get any attention, and so dressing appropriately was your plan. Everything else in your closet would make you look underdressed, and you made the quick decision to pass by a store and grab the first nice dress you could find and then head home.Â
The clock was ticking, and it didnât help that you got stuck in traffic on the way to your apartment, and that a vehicular accident at the intersection outside your village forced the cab driver to take a longer route to the Arts Center. Before you knew it, the sun had set, and the program was over, and Jungkook would probably now be in the midst of engaging with so many important people and you donât want any of the attention that your arrival might bring.Â
You finally make it though, and while minutes ago you were stressed and just desperate to make it to the Arts Center, now that youâre here, youâre quite nervous. Youâll face him again after so long, and the fact that happiness would be within reach brings about an unfamiliar feeling. But you also canât wait to experience it. Itâs a kind of joy and contentment youâve only dreamt about, and youâll finally know what itâs like.
Exiting the cab, you look around in awe. From this view, you could imagine the sunset framing the main building so beautifully. You enter the lobby and itâs even more spacious than you remember. Perhaps itâs the absence of all the laborers and materials on the floor. Now, itâs just this open space with art pieces placed around. The floor-to-ceiling windows would bring so much light in. It was one of the big changes to the old structure, and with the moonlight shining through, it feels as if thereâs a natural spotlight on the art pieces.Â
Youâre enamored by the grandness of it all. Even more by the many people around, perhaps taking their time in exploring all that the Center has to offer. Itâs such a massive space that itâs impossible to absorb everything after one go around, and you already canât wait to take it all in the next time you visit.
Itâs tempting to get lost in it but right now, your priority is finding Jungkook, but as youâre about to head to the second floor, Do-hyunâs whisper-yelling of your name catches your attention. She gives you a tight hug and thereâs suddenly an air of sentimentality as the old team is together once again. It was just a year ago when you all took on the biggest project together and after all the highs and lows, itâs finally here. And while you missed out on the final weeks of preparations, they assure you that youâre just as much a part of those as they are.Â
âYou had to deal with the last minute changes, though,â you insist. âThat mustâve been hard.â
âOnly at the beginning,â Chin-sun says. âWe were barely involved. We just helped with procurement but Mr. Jeon was the one who worked tirelessly on it. He had just two other people help him construct it and I guess thatâs why he spent so much time there. But it turned out beautifully, and you wouldnât have known it was only an addition.â
âWha-what is it?â You ask, the curiousity taking a front seat for now.Â
âItâsââ
âItâs something you need to see for yourself,â a familiar voice says.Â
You all turn around and bow at the sight of CEO Jeon. He looks at you and smiles, gesturing towards one of the doors. You excuse yourself from the team and follow the older man, walking next to him in silence.Â
âI was worried you werenât going to come tonight,â he says. âI think that so was Jungkook.â
âI⊠I tried to come earlier but there was all this traffic and⊠I, uh, how did he do?â You ask.Â
âGreat, as always,â CEO Jeon answers. âHe had everything under control and managed all the socializing impressively. Heâs come a long way, hasnât he?â
âHe has,â you smile, recalling the anxiousness that he used to feel at just remembering names and keeping up with peopleâs energy.Â
âHeâs come a long way in other aspects, too. Smiling, believing in himself, being kinder to himself⊠itâs great to witness,â the older man continues. âAnd standing by and caring for someone the way he did with you, that was⊠that was new, too.â
âI didnât intend on feeling this way for him, sir,â you say, recalling that the last time you spoke, you werenât ready to talk about it. âAnd I tried to suppress it, and that pushed him away but I guess, sometimes we lose people for a reason; we find them again for a reason, too.â Itâs a statement that CEO Jeon had told you the last time you talked, and itâs one that stuck with you. âIâm here to find him again.â
âGood. I was hoping you would, so at least Iâd know that all this wasnât in vain,â he chuckles. âAnd I really do hope you see his heart with this, ___. He takes after me, and I didnât realize just how much until he came up with this plan.â
You lose him for a bit, suddenly unsure of what he means. CEO Jeon notices, so he gestures towards his right and you follow his lead, and thatâs when you see it. Your eyes widen in shock, and you canât help but gasp at the space before you.
âHeâs not always good with words but he tries. And this is how he does it.â
You noted entering the grand library as he spoke. The walls and design were familiar, as youâd gone in here during your last few visits. But this area that you walk into is new. Itâs not a large space but it feels like it now. It used to be a section of historical books and archived materials that were put on display, almost like a museum of literary artifacts that a historian had sold off. But itâs nothing like that now.
The glass enclosures have been replaced by shelves and bookcases, all easily accessible and reachable by anyone. The framed walls are no more - instead, there are reading nooks and character murals painted artistically, bringing them to life outside of the books they only lived in. The lights are not blinding; theyâre warm and inviting, illuminating a space that makes you want to just sit or even lie in, especially with the large stuffed animals spread across. The chairs arenât the same, too; there are couches all around, all soft and comfortable, decorated with knitted dolls and colorful pillows.Â
You walk further, mouth agape as you take in every inch of the space that brings back so many memories from your childhood. This place is new but familiar. It looks nothing but everything like that neighborhood-run library that your mom used to take you to. Towards the back is a little activity area, with a large, leveled table and a row of shelves filled with coloring books and paper dolls.Â
You feel chills as you realize what this place is supposed to be, and who this was meant for.Â
You remember the first time you told Jungkook about this. It was after that incident at the restaurant. He took you to a park and told you how the playground was his favorite place, how it made him feel free and safe, how it allowed him to just be himself and imagine doing and being everything he wanted. You shared a piece of your childhood, too, and described that library you frequented, how you felt sad that you didnât get to say goodbye to it, and that you hadnât seen a place like that again.
But now you have. That last minute change that he made⊠It was this.Â
You turn towards CEO Jeon and try to find the words to say but nothing comes out. Youâre overwhelmed by what you see, by the memories they elicit, and by all the emotions overtaking you all at once.Â
âJungkook called me one evening and said that he was going to re-do the archive section in the library,â the older man says. âHe wasnât asking for my approval because it was his project, heâd said, but he just wanted to let me know. He made all the decisions and most of the design. He painted the walls and some of the furniture, too. He spent every afternoon here and stayed until the evening. He barely rested. He just⊠he just wanted this done. It was so important to him.â
âI⊠I told him about a place like this, that I used to go to,â you manage to find your voice now. âHe never saw it but it⊠it looks like this.â
âMaybe you described it really well,â CEO Jeon smiles. âItâs how heâs always been. Just a few words and then it comes alive in his mind.â
âThatâs why this Center is as beautiful as it is,â you hum. âHeâs good at that, bringing to life everything that he envisions.â
âItâs his way of saying the things he canât say, too. Itâs something he got from me, I think. Iâm not good with words either,â he admits. âSo when Byung-hun told me that your mother used to spend her lunch breaks taking you to a library when you were younger, I knew this was Jungkook expressing everything he feels for you.â
âItâs a bit grand, donât you think?â You say shyly. âBuilding something for someone is⊠so personal, soââ
âSincere,â he finishes for you. âAnd intimate, Iâd say. But my son, he feels a lot. Which is why I think he tries not to, and why he distances himself from others. He felt like heâd lost you, ___, even before he had you and that⊠messed with him. He needed to do this for you, but I think he also needed to do it for himself. If at the end of the day, youâll no longer be a part of his life, this would remind him that you were.â
You blink away the tears that you quickly wipe off as you look away. If at the end of the day, heâs no longer a part of your life, this would also remind you that he was. But you donât want that, because you want him in your life, you want every part of him that heâs willing to show, and you want to hold every bit of that in your arms, care for it, and never let it go.
The time you spent with so little of him in your life made you feel his absence, and that allowed you to recognize the pockets of joy you had with him. It gave you something to look forward to, to connect with, and to treasure. The first step was resigning, and that itself felt like freedom. You get to pursue that connection and deep desire by choosing him this time. Knowing yourself means knowing how your heart heals and loves, and you want him to be at the receiving end of that.Â
âI⊠I need to see him,â you say, not wanting him to spend another minute without knowing how you feel.Â
âYou should,â CEO Jeon nods and motions towards the door. âIâm sure heâs wondering where you are.â
Thereâs a soft smile on his face and you mirror it, as if to tell each other that all has been forgiven, that everything has been accepted, that thereâs no more blame or burden to carry anymore.Â
You rush out, wondering where to start looking for Jungkook. Turning to the left, you see Yoongi, who quickly rushes to you.
âWhat do you think?â He asks, gesturing towards the library where youâd just come from. âIs it close to the one you used to go to?â
âYes,â you respond. âDid you help him with it?â
âKinda had no choice,â he chuckles. âWe were working on it while everything else was being completed. He didnât want anyone else to know, especially you. I didnât even know why he wanted to build a children's library all of a sudden when it wasnât in the plans until that night you told me about your childhood. It clicked then.â
âHe was already dealing with so much but he still had time for this?â You say, still in shock that Jungkook pushed through with this despite everything.
âHe had a lot to say to you but he didnât know how to. And I guess working on this was a way for him to deal with losing you,â Yoongi answers. âYou mean a lot to him, ___. He was a mess without you.â
You think back at the times you felt that he was quickly replacing you, that he was distancing himself, that he was probably upset because youâd messed up his plans, and that he just wanted to move on from you. All this time, he was working on something that he could leave you with, all because he knew how much it meant for you to have a place like this.
âNow I just have to find him,â you say. âHave you seen him?â
âNot in the past half hour. Heâs just been going around but I did tell him Iâd let him know if you came. You should call him.â
âI wouldnât be able to say anything if I did,â you sigh, knowing that itâs probably the same reason why he didnât call you after not finding you in your apartment yesterday.Â
Thereâs too much to say that canât be said over the phone. Youâll probably be tongue tied once he picks up.Â
You decide to call Mr. Ri, the possibility of Jungkook having left swimming in your mind after thinking of how long he wouldâve been socializing. Itâs been hours since the opening; itâs possible that heâs gotten tired from it all.
â___? Everything okay?â
âDo you know where he is?â You ask, desperate now. âIs he still inââ
âI just dropped him off at the office,â the older man answers. âI donât know why he wanted to be there but Iâm on the way back to the Arts Center. Do you want me to pick you up somewhere?â
âIâm here right now and I just saw what he made. I need to see him.â
âYou can wait for me andââ
âItâs okay. Iâll find my way there. Thank you.â
You drop the call and start heading towards the exit, with Yoongi on your tails, offering to drive you.
âYouâve done so much already. And youâre needed here,â you say. âItâs okay.â
âTrue, I have. It sucked witnessing you two constantly going in circles when you both clearly canât get enough of each other,â he chuckles. âSo go, find him. You can both stop being such idiots now.â
âRude,â you laugh. âBut thank you, Yoongi.â
He smiles, and itâs a sight thatâs gotten you through some of the toughest days. He tells you again to leave now, and you rush out as you book a cab, slowly getting impatient as you want nothing more than to be with Jungkook already.Â
You get inside the car and watch the city pass you by. So many nights youâd done this, wondering about your life and where it was headed, hoping that one day youâd find the strength within you to go for what youâve always wanted, whatever it was. A smile paints your face as you do it again now. One day is today, and with another act of bravery, youâre heading towards that other piece of happiness, and youâre finally claiming it for yourself.Â
The office isnât far, and with the traffic having eased despite the hour, you make it to the building in no time.Â
Youâre suddenly nervous once you enter the lobby. Youâre used to late nights but itâs different this time. The security personnel assigned tonight still remembers you, and he doesnât ask questions when you say you want to head to the VPâs floor.Â
Itâs a little nostalgic walking down the hallway, even if you were here just last week. Itâs knowing that youâll be seeing Jungkook at the end of it that makes you emotional, your heart beating fast as the seconds tick by. You quietly make it to his room, and with the door opened, you wonder if he expected you to be here.
You stand at the entrance and see him standing by the window, looking out into the city below. His sleeves are rolled up, and he has one hand in his pocket and the other holding a glass of whiskey. You spot the bottle on the edge of the table and not far from it, the mess of folders and blueprints piled on the desk.Â
âWhy are you out here celebrating on your own?â You say, your voice soft despite the yearning youâre feeling.Â
He hears you though, as the swirling of his drink stops and he slowly turns around to look at you. He looks tired, but you donât miss the way his eyes light up. You wish he notices the way yours do, too.
âThe Arts Center is beautiful, Jungkook. You should be enjoying it with everyone else.â
âIt didnât feel right without you,â he answers, walking towards his table where he places the glass next to the bottle. âIt felt incomplete without you around. You⊠you were a big part of that.â
âWhy did you leave, then? Thatâs where you said Iâd find you.â
âIs that what your mother said?âÂ
âItâs what I heard,â you say. He doesnât look surprised, and maybe a part of you knew that he knew you were there, but still, he asks.
âWhy didnât you see me? Why didnât you want to talk to me?â
You start to walk closer and see the sadness in his eyes. It brings you back to this room weeks ago, how those same eyes looked at you in dejection, in guilt. You hate hurting him, and you donât ever want to do that again.Â
âI realized that I easily accept it when Iâm told that Iâm being selfish and that I donât deserve happiness. But when it comes to someoneâs genuine feelings, I cower,â you respond. âYour sincerity scared me and maybe thatâs why I doubted it the first time and Iâm sorry that I did.âÂ
Your voice starts to shake now as the emotions intensify with every word you say, and with every inch of distance you eliminate.Â
âIâm sorry that I pushed you away, that I left, that I kept my past from you. Iâm sorry that I was so scared about everything, especially about the way I felt, only because it was all so new. It was all so much; wanting you became too much, I didnât know how to stop. But IâŠâ you blink away the tears, not realizing theyâve been waiting to fall. âI realized I was more scared to lose you. I was foolish to think that I could just move on and forget about what I feel for you. I thought itâs what you wanted to do, too, andââ
He shakes his head, and itâs the most reaction youâve gotten since you started speaking.
âAll Iâve done since that night you left me here was think about you,â he says, now able to say what heâs been meaning to. âI didnât know how to stop that either. Wanting you was no longer enough and I wanted to be with you but I didnât think I could, not when I thought you didnât want me. You left and I⊠I didnât know what to do.â
âI knew itâs what I needed,â you admit. âI⊠I reached a point where if you asked me to stay, I probably would and I didnât want to. I wanted to know myself outside of all this and I didnât want you to be the reason why Iâd stop myself from doing that, from searching for whatever would make me happy but I realized that itâs you.â
You take another step, your body aching for him as your heart beats faster. âI felt free but it didnât feel like I thought it would be. I didnât want to be here but I wanted to be with you. And Iâm sorry it took so long.â
âI didnât find you right away,â he whispers, as if he still carries that guilt with him. âI was so caught up with everything else, with dealing with the fact that I lost you.â
âThe library,â you say. âYou were caught up creating something for me.â
âI⊠uh, I didnât know how to say everything that I wanted to say,â he sighs. âAnd Iâll probably always struggle with that but⊠I just thought that as you go about your new life, I could build you a place where youâll always feel safe and free, and that if I canât be that person to comfort you, youâll have a place that can do that. Selfishly, I didnât want you to forget me. But I also just wanted you to know that I was always going to think about you.â
âDoesnât it feel a bit grand?â You ask now, inching closer once again as he takes another step forward. âBuilding a library for someone is a pretty big deal.â
âYou wouldâve been my biggest what if. I probably deserve something grand to remind me of how stupid I was that I let you go.â
âYouâre not gonna do that again, are you?â You teasingly smile. âBecause I wonât.â
âNo,â he says a little seriously. âI put you through so much, ___. I just⊠I just want to be someone who would care for you and would make you happy.â
His words are simple but they carry so much. You suppose at one point, thatâs all whatâs started to matter. All he wants is to be part of that happiness youâve been searching for. Maybe itâs whatâs been missing in his life, too, and all you want now is to be a part of it.
Another tear falls down your cheek, and you appease the worried look on his face by saying that itâs a happy tear.
He softly smiles, wiping it off with his thumb before cupping your face in his hand. Heâs gentle as he caresses you, and you learn everyday just how capable he is of giving warmth, that thereâs such tenderness within him that heâs unable to fully show.Â
âIâve always wanted to do this,â he admits. âSo many times that Iâve seen you cry and Iâve just been⊠so powerless to do anything.â
âNow you arenât,â you breathe out as you eye his lips, knowing theyâre what you need at this moment. âNow you canââ
His proximity stops you, as he bends down and closes the distance. His mouth presses against yours, the hint of alcohol intoxicating you a little but itâs the feel of him that makes your mind hazy. With his hand still cupping your cheek, he pulls you towards him, his tongue merely licking your own when he slides inside as if to tease.Â
âDo that,â he finishes, pulling away only a little bit to allow you to answer. Â
âYes,â you heave, wanting so much more now that youâve had a taste of him again. âI wonât stop you this time.â
âGood,â he pants, grazing the tip of his nose on yours. âI donât plan to.â
Youâre unable to take a breath before his mouth crashes against yours, but you donât mind, not when you immediately lose yourself to the way he feels. The kiss is desperate, with his tongue seeking entrance right away and then entangling with yours. Yet it still feels gentle with how he holds you, as his one hand continues to caress your face while the other glides down your side torso, settling on your hip to pull you closer.Â
Your fingers grip his dress shirt, needing that anchor to ground you as you feel yourself drifting, getting lost in what youâre feeling - pure desire, an insatiable need, a sense of relief that thereâs finally nothing holding you back. He angles your head, allowing him to go even deeper, and you let him take control, you let him breathe you in, let his tongue explore your depths before he pulls back and nibbles your lower lip.Â
But he doesnât stop just like he said, as he makes his way to your neck. You moan once you feel him lick the shell of your ear, the sound urging him to do more. He finds spots that have you grunting in pleasure, sucking and licking and pressing soft kisses on them, leaving you a pleading mess. You chant his name, grind against him for that friction you badly need, and pull on his shirt, as if wanting that barrier gone.Â
âFuck,â he groans, meeting your hips. âFuck, you sound good.â
Jungkook feels the shiver of your skin, as his mouth slides up and down your neck while he grabs your waist. He loses himself in the sounds of your moans - constant and yearning - just as heavenly as he remembers. Youâre pliant, moving your head to give him access, letting him explore whateverâs exposed for him to do as he pleases, to taste whatever you can offer right now.Â
He pulls you for a kiss once again, and there seems to be more desperation now, as you try to dominate, to taste him, to keep him there. Your hand finds his, guiding it to map your body, to let him know where you want him, to tell him where he can go. He curses under his breath when he feels your breast, fondling it for the brief moment itâs there before you direct it further down. You know exactly what you want and heâll give it to you.Â
The front slit of your dress makes it easy, and when his finger grazes your clothed cunt, you let out a sound that rings in his ear, and he wants more of it.Â
âYou like that?â He huffs in your ear. âYou want me to touch you like that?â
âYeâyes,â you mumble, unable to say anything more.
Jungkook hears your desire. He feels it, too, but he teases a little, gliding down the wet patch before slowly pressing on your clit. You jerk a little, briefly pulling away from him so you can take in a long breath. You bite your lip and he knows that youâre holding yourself back.
But he wants more and he can tell that so do you. He doesnât care where you are right now; all he wants is to taste you, to feel you pulsate against his tongue, to make you feel good and let you know what he can give.
He looks down where his fingers have slipped past your underwear then back at you, the lick of his lips his way of seeking permission. You seem to know what he means, and you nod, granting it to him. He pulls you again for a kiss, much rougher this time, before he pushes you against the desk and lifts you so you could sit on the edge, just like that first time. But like you said, you wonât stop him anymore. And he truly doesnât have an intention to.
His mouth moves down actively, kissing every clothed and exposed part of you it passes while slowly lifting up your dress. He kneels on the floor and spreads your legs open, aching to taste even more of you. But he glances up and sees the anticipation on your face, his mind hypnotized even with just this view alone.
Holding your gaze, he teases, with his tongue merely grazing your throbbing cunt.
You tense up but itâs what gets you pleading.
âPlease,â you whimper, the sight of him from below leaving you in a daze. âJungâwantâpleaâIââ
Youâre unable to form proper words so he finally gives in, pulling your underwear to the side. He grunts, as the sight of your wet lips has his dick getting even harder. Your desire matches his, and all he wants is to fulfill your need.
With the barrier gone, he presses his tongue flatly over your clit, warming it up first before he starts moving around. He alternates fervent licks on it with slow movements everywhere else - on your lips, on the sides of your thighs, and inside your hole. Itâs messy and absolutely mind numbing, as your scent and and the way you taste divine have him burying himself even deeper into you, losing himself even more when he feels your hand in his hair, pushing him towards you as if you donât want him to go anywhere. And he wouldnât mind. Heâd live here if he could.
You start to give in, your legs slowly closing on him but he pushes them apart, keeping them open so he could do more. With his movements, he pulls you closer to the edge - of the table, of your orgasm - and he buries his face there again, licking and sucking and moaning like a man starved.Â
The sounds you make drive him crazy, and that's with you still holding back. Youâre still in his office, doing something you both definitely shouldnât, and he supposes you donât want your obscene sounds to echo throughout the floor despite it being empty. He canât wait to hear you without anything stopping you.Â
You start to shake and thatâs how he knows youâre close. He feels your uneven breathing, hears your broken chants of his name, and sees your grip on the table getting tighter. He wants to take you there, and with one final nip of your clit, you crash, the low, long-winded sound satisfying his need to pleasure you.
You try to catch your breath while he laps up your juices. Youâre still sensitive, as your legs jerk with every movement of his. He takes a peak and sees your half-lidded eyes and parted mouth, but you eventually return to your senses and meet his gaze. Youâve had enough, it seems, as you pull him up and meet his lips.Â
Jungkook tastes of you, and you kiss him languidly, still out of breath and definitely in a daze. You want more of him, though; you want to bury yourself in him and elicit hypnotizing sounds thatâll have him chant your name, too, so you start to palm his hard length in return. But he goes soft on you, taking your arms and wrapping them around his waist before he cups your cheeks again while he returns your kisses.
âThis feels quite familiar,â you hum against his lips.
âReally? I donât remember you pushing my head between your thighs the last time,â he teases.
âOh, shush,â you frown, quickly realizing exactly what youâd done. âI canât believe I had you eat me out on your desk. In your office. On a work night, too. And while you have an event going on. Your father will be so angry.â
âGood thing he wonât know,â Jungkook shrugs, clearly unbothered.Â
But you arenât, so you pout at him. âWhat was I thinking?â
âMaybe you missed me too much, and I canât blame you, since you know, I did, too,â he reasons, his shy smile turning cheeky in a second. âOr maybe you wanted to leave me with a gift or something,â he smirks.Â
âTrue. When youâre stressed at work you can just remember what you did to me here and then youâll feel better, I guess.â
âActually, thatâll probably frustrate me,â he chuckles, pulling you closer again and wrapping his arms around you. âThinking about how good you sound and how amazing you taste without you around⊠Yeah, Iâd be angry.â
His praise flusters you, and you briefly turn away. But he assures you again that his father wonât know, and that youâre in the clear despite the indecency you both committed.Â
âAnd it doesnât matter,â he continues. âThat is worth whatever trouble Iâll be in, if it happens. I⊠I couldnât wait any longer. I just wanted you right away.â
The heat rushes to your cheeks again, and you giggle and bury your face in his neck. Itâs comforting, the way he giggles back but hugs you tighter. He smells just as you remember, and you think that this is how you want your days to go from now on - flushed against his chest, cradled in his arms, with his soft lips giving you shivers as he kisses your forehead.Â
Itâs just your joint breaths that you hear now, and you turn to him, your soft smile making his heart skip a beat, and he knows that this is how he wants his days to go from now on - safe in your embrace, with your soft lips tracing his jaw and leaving teasing pecks on his cheeks. He captures them in his, basking in the taste of you, and itâs not long after when the kiss intensifies, leaving him wanting more again.
But just as you return his desire, itâs at that moment when the phone rings, catching both of you off guard and in surprise. He appeases you, as your eyes look at him in worry. He picks up the call, and he hums in confirmation before putting the phone down.
âThe building is scheduled for sanitation in half an hour,â he says. âWe have to go.â
âOh right. I remember putting that in our calendars,â you hum, getting off the table and feeling the dampness of your underwear.
You fix your dress, trying to make it less uncomfortable. You turn to him who looks at you shyly.
âCan I take you home with me?â He asks. âMaybe we could, uh, continue this and you know, make up for the time we spent apart?â
âYes,â you respond, feeling your heart race at the possibilities of tonight. âIâd like that.â
He nods, unable to control his own smile. He motions towards the door and you walk out side-by-side, knowing enough that there are security cameras around. Thereâs at least that unspoken agreement that neither of you want the attention that could come from having this exposed, whatever this is. But you suppose you have time to figure it out. Youâve both expressed enough that you want each other; youâll just have to talk about how to move forward and make up for all thatâs happened.Â
Itâs cheeky glances from the elevator down to the car. But once he drives out of the building, he takes your hand and intertwines his fingers with yours. He smiles when you tighten your hold, as if to say that you donât want to let go of him, too.Â
You explain that you woke up late and had to buy a dress thatâs why you didnât get to him earlier. You share how you met the team and then his father, and the anticipation you felt on the way to the office to see him.Â
Jungkook narrates how his day went, saying that the interview and press conference were successful, and that he received so much praise from the artists for how the Arts Center turned out. You compliment him, too, saying how everything looks grand but that each individual space feels intimate, personal, and that you canât wait to explore it further.Â
The conversation is a good distraction, as the moment from earlier still has you reeling internally. His taste is addictive, and thereâs just so much more of him you want to see, to feel, to immerse yourself in. He seems a bit impatient, too. Heâs driving close to the speed limit, perhaps wanting to get to his place as soon as he can to continue what you both started. With everything thatâs happened, you wouldnât mind doing it all night.Â
You finally make it to his building, and he constantly pulls you close as you make your way up, with his hand snaking around your waist while you smile at him. But when he opens his door and you enter his penthouse, he keeps his distance, letting you walk through his hallway and into his kitchen as he looks on.
He walks slowly towards you and his heart starts to beat faster, knowing heâs got you alone now, and that thereâs no limit to what both of you could do. But though he wants to just take you in his arms, feel you against him again, and kiss you until you both run out of air, he decides to savor this first - the sight of you back in his apartment.Â
Itâs been so long. And with you looking as beautiful as you do in your pink dress, he wants to ingrain this image of you in his mind - happy and content, with a tender smile thatâs already healing the parts of him that once hurt.Â
âYour place looks the same as the last time I was here,â you say, looking around.
âWell, I havenât really been spending time here,â he shrugs. âI was too busy being an idiot and making this childrenâs library for this girl that Iâm really, really into to make up for it. And well, sheâs here with me now. I feel like this place is going to start feeling like home.â
âPlants would help. And maybe some personal photos,â you tease, but you reach out your hand that he takes and you pull him closer, wrapping your arms around his neck and grazing your nose against his. âBut Iâm also here. And Iâm not going anywhere, Jungkook. I just happen to really, really be into you, too.â
He laughs, and itâs a sound you once said you want to hear all the time. You think from now on, you will.Â
âGood. Iâd like to keep you for as long as I can.â
His eyes turn serious and it makes you feel hot all over. Itâs hard not to use his playboy lifestyle as a basis for how heâd be, and you canât help but think just how good heâs going to make you feel. Thereâs always been so much tension with him that in hindsight, youâve always tried to quell or overlook, but thereâs no need for that anymore. Youâll let your desire take over, release all that lust and yearning until he knows just how much you want him in ways words could never express.Â
But just as he closes the distance between you, the doorbell rings, and his groan of frustration makes you laugh. Itâs as if the universe is edging both of you with these distractions.Â
Jungkook looks at you in apology and agony. âThat might be Mr. Ri. Or Lucas,â he says, remembering that theyâd said that theyâll drop off some of the gifts he received in celebration of today. If he doesnât answer, theyâll probably enter on their own, since heâs given them permission to.
So he lets you go and heads towards the door while you scurry to the left towards the hallway.Â
You doubt whoever it is would come all the way inside so you donât really attempt to hide, but you do lean by the wall and listen in. Youâre appeased to know itâs Mr. Ri, as you see him enter with several gifts and packages.Â
âThese are from the artists and the Board. There are art pieces in the cart outside so just bring them in,â he instructs, oblivious to you standing not far away. âThey gave you lots of alcohol, too. I thought to bring them here already for whatever reason you might need them.âÂ
The older man chuckles and finally looks up and sees you.
âAnd I assume that reason is to celebrate,â he smiles now, and you donât miss the smug look on his face that makes you feel flustered. âI was just gonna say that ___ was looking for you,â he turns to Jungkook. âLooks like sheâs found you.â
âShe⊠she did,â Jungkook smiles back.Â
âGood. Itâs about time you kids made up,â he teasingly rolls his eyes. Heavens know how much he had to deal with, with you and Jungkook being such hard-headed idiots.
âWe were in the middle of it but then we got disrupted,â Jungkook frowns, to the amusement of the older man.
âOh, I wonder who did that,â Mr. Ri teases. âI better get going then.â
He sets aside the boxes and turns to both of you.Â
âBut before I leave, I just⊠I just want to congratulate you, Jungkook. The Arts Center is a beautiful piece of artwork. And that⊠that last-minute thing you did⊠Iâm telling you now that it drove your father crazy. But he⊠he told me how proud he is of you,â he continues, his look softening as he recalls their recent conversations, including the one just before he drove here. âTo do all that for someone you care about, that takes a lot of heart. I think that you, finding it and using it is what heâs happiest about.â
His words are followed by Jungkookâs nod, perhaps in appreciation, and silence, as youâre unsure what else could be said after that. Mr. Ri excuses himself after bringing in the last set of gifts and thereâs still that soft smile on his face before he leaves.Â
Itâs happening, he thinks, and despite all the time it took for you and Jungkook to get here, he supposes it was the only way. It wouldâve been easier if he or even Yoongi or Hoseok went ahead and spoke to both of you, perhaps to say it was all a misunderstanding or that there was nothing to be afraid of, not when you both undeniably felt the same way.Â
But he also knew that you both had to come to that realization on your own, that life without each other isnât something neither of you wanted. You also had to make that decision for yourselves - to be vulnerable, to be brave, to take risks, and to find out that it would all be worth it if youâre just honest about how you feel. It seems youâve both figured it out now, and he can finally feel at ease that two of the most important people in his life can now take care of each other, and that the love he gave helped both of you to get here.
Jungkook leads him out the door then returns to you, and as he walks to where you are, youâre finally able to appreciate how he looks. Itâs just like the other times when he had an event to go to - hair slicked back, long sleeves rolled up to his elbows, his dress shirt accentuating his toned chest, and the fit of his trousers showing off the rest of his figure. You eye him up and down and he smirks at you in response.
âSo⊠you exposed yourself, Mr. Jeon,â you say, pulling the neck of his tie to bring him closer to you. âWho taught you how to use your heart like that?â
âWho knew I even had one in the first place?âÂ
âI did.â
âNot at the start though,â he says, with a hint of guilt in his eyes.
âIt was there, you were just hiding it. But I saw it. And I got used to it. Then I couldnât get enough of it, of you,â you say, meeting his eyes. âAnd now I just⊠I want more of it, Jungkook. I want all of you.â
Having you be so bold about what you want does something to him. It already got him weak in the knees when you directed his hand where you wanted it earlier and when you looked at him to grant permission about having a taste of you. Hearing you say you want all of him causes his mind to short circuit, but he recovers quickly, as he nods and releases a breath before cupping your face in his hands then crashing his mouth into yours again.Â
Itâs sloppier this time, as you both try to take in as much of each other as you can. Your tongues battle for dominance, you nibble and lick each otherâs lips, and you moan with every breath as heâs got you caged against the wall, your hands gripping on his shirt to pull him even closer.
You feel Jungkookâs length hardening as heâs flushed against you, and you grind against him, needing that friction badly. He meets your hips and releases your face from his hold, supporting your back that now arches as you chase him, as he finds purchase on your neck, licking and sucking to elicit the most obscene sounds from you. He kneads your ass while you moan his name and plead for more, and you donât think youâve ever felt this much pleasure with just this, and you canât wait for what comes after.
âPlease,â you beg, as you feel your cunt throb in pain. Â
Jungkook doesnât need you to say anything else, as he has the same desire to feel your body. Thereâs so much he wants to do to you, so much more he wants to touch and feel. He wants to know how else you sound like, what makes you lose your breath, what makes you quiver and shake. He wants to know how else his mouth could make you come and how his fingers can drive you wild. He wants to know how your mouth feels wrapped around his cock, how much of him you can take, and how itâs like to be buried deep inside your warm walls as your essence coats him.Â
He wants you right now, so he heads towards the closest room, guiding you backwards as he unzips your dress and removes your bra. His hands immediately map your bare body, feeling the shiver in your skin with every movement. You whimper when he fondles your breast, and the thought of you being sensitive to his touch makes him even harder.
The back of your knees hit the edge of the bed and he guides you to lie down. He trails downward, nibbling as he goes and memorizing your body this way. His mouth reaches your waist, and from here, he finds himself intoxicated from your scent. He slowly removes your soaked underwear and the sight of your went cunt makes him throb in pain.
Youâre so fucking beautiful, he thinks to himself. He canât believe he waited so long to have you like this.
He thumbs your clit, and your continuous moans and calls of his name make him give in. He stands up and smirks at you and, taking your hand, he replaces his fingers with yours, his eyes ordering you to touch yourself.
You follow, and though it doesnât feel as good as how he does it, the pleasure hits differently when you watch him loosen his tie and unbutton his shirt. All those months of doing your morning routine comes back to you - now you get to see all thatâs underneath the clothes you prepare, and when he pulls down his trousers, your mouth drops the same time it does. Heâs thick and veiny, and you canât wait to feel him inside you.Â
His eyes are on your sopping cunt while yours are on his fingers as they stroke his length, getting himself ready for you. He opens the drawer and pulls out a condom, and while thereâs the tiniest bit of disappointment, you donât mind. Itâs something youâll eventually talk about. Right now, you just want him inside of you and you call out for him another time, prompting him to smirk once again and walk towards you.
He replaces your hand with his fingers this time, and when he returns to touching you, he climbs on the bed and hovers over you, lowering himself for a searing kiss.
âGood girl,â he hums against your lips.
You lose it, as if you hadnât lost yourself already, but his deep voice and the way he grunts against your skin do something to you. You feel his cock not long after, and no amount of yearning for him could prepare you for how good he feels. He fills you up just right, and the gradual way he enters you while his eyes bore into yours has your stomach in knots and your heart beating out of your chest.Â
âFuck, fuck,â he mouths as he goes deeper. âFuck, baby, you feel so, so good.â
He hits the edge and he settles for a while, letting you get used to the feel of him, but when you start to grind against him, he decides to do the same. Â
He moves his hips, pushing then pulling out then pushing harder. He raises himself and intently watches your face distort in pleasure - your breath hitching, your lips parting, your eyes half-lidded as you moan his name, as if itâs the only word youâll remember after all this. He starts to increase the pace, loving the way your breasts bounce in response. Then he slows down, only so he could capture one of them in his mouth to suck and the other, in his hand to touch.Â
The feeling of ecstasy overtakes you. He doesnât go rough all the way, as you initially expected he would. Instead, he paces himself, going fast for a period of time and then slowing down to let both of you bask in the feel of each other. He doesnât seem to want either of you to come right away, you can tell, by the way he moves and the way he looks at you - with a kind of longing and desire that feels so intimate.
He gets back on his knees after and spreads your legs, giving him more space to pound into you, and with his hands gripping your hips, he pulls it towards him to meet his. You feel him deeper inside, and it has you holding onto your breasts, pleasuring yourself there, too, as he starts fondling your clit once again.Â
Youâre feeling everything everywhere, and your mind starts to go hazy when he lifts your leg and places it over his shoulder, allowing him to enter you from an angle that has you mewling in intense pleasure. You feel your eyes rolling out, but somehow they land on him, and the way his head tilts back while he grunts in pleasure as he caresses your thigh is a sight that you want to keep seeing. That image of his clenched jaw and strained neck will be ingrained in your mind from now on.
You continue with this pace for a while until he lowers himself and kisses you, hard and deep the same way he thrusts into your hole. With his chest flushed against yours, his mouth sucking and licking your neck, and his hand flicking your pert nipples, you come, the deep inhale and the exhale of moans echoing inside the bedroom.Â
Jungkook feels your essence despite the barrier, and itâs a kind of euphoria that pushes him to reach his peak. He hovers over you again, pinning your hands to your side for that anchor he needs. He meets your tongue with his, and then he pounds hard, wanting that high as you come down from yours. But you donât hold back, as you meet his hips and curse and tell him how good he feelsÂ
âFuck, Jungkook,â you seethe. âYou fuck me so good. Fuck, fuck, yes. Keep going, please baby. Keep going.â
Your words push him over the edge, and he crashes before he knows it. He grunts as he catches a breath, a way to express the intense pleasure he just experienced. But he sees you still panting. You may have already come but another one wonât hurt, so he nibbles on your breasts again, knowing it wonât take long. Youâre already close, and with a few more flicks of his fingers on your clit, he feels you quiver again.Â
âCome for me again, baby,â he mumbles. âI wanna hear your pretty sounds again.â
It doesnât take long. Thereâs a tone of your moan that lets him know youâve reached your peak, and he keeps that in mind for everyday that he plans on doing this to you.
You catch your breath, feeling as if youâre in a daze with what you just experienced. As you come down again, you meet his eyes. They were intense and lustful earlier but theyâre soft now, just as his smile is. Thereâs contentment on his face and adoration. He kisses your lips, and thatâs soft, too, before he turns to your side and lies on his back.Â
Jungkook feels the exhilaration from that ride with you, and he definitely wants to do it again. But he knows heâll have to recover. He turns to you and thinks that youâll need some time, too, but he canât help himself. He presses soft kisses on your torso, up until he reaches your cheek, and that causes you to smile.
He finally stands up and tells you heâll clean up, and you nod, somehow needing a moment alone to wrap your mind around what just happened.Â
Itâs different, you think, when sex is with someone you actually feel really strongly for. All the ones before donât compare. Sure, you were attracted to the men you dated, but they never made you feel anything close to this. Perhaps itâs Jungkook, but maybe itâs also you - for the first time, youâre giving more than just your time and your energy. For the first time, youâre giving your heart, too. All of it.
The thought makes you giddy. It also makes you shy because it all feels new. And it suddenly makes you hyper aware of where you are.Â
You look around. This is a new room. Other than Jungkookâs bedroom, youâve only been to his study; this door was always closed and you never had a reason to see whatâs behind it. You know he doesnât really have people over but you assume an extra bedroom is always good to have.
You start to feel cold without Jungkookâs warmth, so you shift on the end and pull the covers, burying yourself under it. You donât remember where your dress is, and youâre suddenly too shy to just head out the room and get it. Itâs at the same time that Jungkook exits the bathroom with his boxers on, and even that has you feeling all kinds of things.Â
âHey,â he says, sitting on the edge of the bed. âAre you cold?â
âA bit,â you respond.
He looks around and spots his dress shirt on the foot of the bed. He takes it and pulls away the blanket so he can make you wear it. He buttons it and fixes your hair, parting the damp strands and tucking them behind your ear. He helps you stand then you scurry towards the bathroom to clean yourself up.Â
You donât take long as you donât want to make him wait, and when you open the door, you see him with his trousers back on, fixing the bed. On top of it are your folded dress and underwear. Between that and the shirt youâre wearing, something inside you stirs as youâre reminded again of how thoughtful Jungkook is. You like him for so many reasons, and now that you get to be with him like this, youâll get to know him even more.
You donât realize youâre staring at him as he moves about until he starts walking towards you.Â
âIâll get your clothes dry cleaned. Is that okay?â
You nod, giddy again and unable to speak.Â
âI was also, uh, thinking. Do you want to spend the night with me? And maybe the one after, too?â He asks.
âIâd like that,â you smile.Â
âGood,â he smiles back, kissing you deeply. âI was really hoping we get to do more of that.â
You laugh in response even if deep inside, youâre screaming in excitement. Youâre still overwhelmed by all this, but you know that spending the evening and then waking up next to him will let you ease into this new life that you have.Â
He laughs, too, when your stomach grumbles, and you realize you havenât eaten anything since you left your motherâs house, and that was almost 12 hours ago.
âI actually donât have anything in my fridge so letâs just order out.â
You nod, and shortly after, you find yourself sitting on the couch with him, your legs laying over his lap while his fingers caress your thigh. Heâs got his arm around you and you sit there, just talking, while you wait for your dinner to arrive.Â
You stay on the dining table when it does, and you remain there after youâve both wiped out all the food. You both clean up, liking the domesticity that feels more real now, even more when he takes your hand and leads you to his bedroom.Â
âI donât have any makeup remover or anything like that,â he says from inside his bathroom. âJust cleanser. Is that okay?â
âUh, yeah, that should be fine,â you say, following him inside.Â
He places some skincare items on the counter and says that heâll buy your brand this weekend. He grabs a towel and places it on the stool next to the shower before he turns to you.Â
Thereâs a look of desire in your eyes, and though heâd initially thought that maybe youâd want to wash up on your own, the way youâre biting your lips makes him think that maybe you donât.
He walks towards you and, with his fingers fiddling with the buttons of his shirt you have on, he looks at you in question as a way to seek permission. You nod, and itâs his confirmation. Thereâs something about you speaking to him with your eyes that has him nervous, but every approval you give stirs something in him. Thereâs your shyness but thereâs also that desire to have him close.
He undoes the shirt, and though heâs already seen your bare body earlier, it still takes his breath away, as if itâs the first time heâs being graced with this, only because heâs been craving it for weeks.
Not much is said when he undresses after you, but you donât really need words. Right as he turns on the warm shower, your lips are already on his. Itâs sensual this time, as you both seem to want to savor this now that you have more time to spare. Thereâs still so much he wants to know and to feel, and he supposes thereâll be more days to learn all that.Â
But then again, that could also be today, as you kneel on the floor and take his hardening dick in your mouth. Youâre just as heavenly as he imagined, even more when you let him come on your chest and heâs dazed with how turned on you look. He finishes you off with you caged against the wall, your breasts in his mouth and his fingers inside your hole. Itâs more languid kisses once you decide to actually take a shower, and going slow as you caress each otherâs bodies is another feeling that he wants to keep having.
He gives you one of his shirts to wear before you both head to his bed. Itâs past midnight and the day has started to catch up to him. Heâs been tired since midday, and he wouldâve crashed on his couch after finishing a bottle of whiskey if you hadnât come.Â
But you did, and the past few hours have been nothing short of amazing, as if itâs a dream he doesnât believe is really happening. You lay next to his side, looking warm and comfortable with the softest smile on your face, a contrast to how you looked when you took him so deep in your mouth and moaned curses while you pulled on his hair as you came on his fingers.Â
âWhat are you thinking about?â You ask him.
âA lot of things. Also nothing,â he says. âSo much has happened today and I just⊠I just wanna sleep but I also want to stay awake with you a bit longer.â
âWeâll have more time together though,â you assure him. âWe can talk about them tomorrow.â
He hums, knowing that his weekends from now on will no longer be boring like they used to be.Â
âWhat about you, what are you thinking about?âÂ
âThat your bed is so soft and your pillows smell so nice,â you respond, earning you a laugh. âBetter than the one earlier. Although come to think of it, I didnât even know you had a guest room.â
âItâs, well, uh⊠I wouldnât really call it a guest room. I donât really make people sleep there. Unless, they, uh, stay the night even if I told them not to.â
With his embarrassed face, the thought dawns on you.Â
âYou have a room specifically for your hookups?â You gasp. âYou fucked me in your hookup room!â
You donât seem angry but still, he supposes it doesnât sound good when you say it like that.
âThat⊠that was the closest room with something to lie on and I just wanted you so badly,â he explains, truly looking like he feels bad about it. âI only have that because I donât let people in my room and well, youâre here now, arenât you? I donât like people being inside my space but you⊠I want you here. Iâm sorry.â
He looks at you with apologetic eyes and you suddenly feel bad for reacting the way you did. Itâs not a big deal. Maybe it isnât ideal when you look back on it but then again, he fucked you so good, it doesnât really matter. It also doesnât matter where he does it. But maybe claiming other parts of his penthouse isnât so bad.
âItâs okay, you made up for it,â you say, kissing his pouty lips to let him know itâs fine.Â
Thereâs really nothing you can complain about, not when youâre next to him and feeling the safety and warmth of being by his side. Thereâs that comfort of being able to say and do what you want to, including expressing your desire without holding back anymore. That itself feels like freedom, and you get to live that out with him.
âWe should probably skip that room for next time,â you add. âI mean, you have a nice bathtub and a spacious closet and a large couch and a wide dining table.., you have a study, a gymâŠâ you smirk, something he does, too. âWe have so many options.â
âWe do,â he laughs, leaning in to kiss you now. âWe also have my bed, in case you forgot.â
âI was just about to say,â you giggle, sitting up and motioning for him to lie on his back. His smile is replaced with a lustful look once you start grinding against his clothed dick. âSo, uhm, shall we?â
He grabs your hips and aids your movements, immediately feeling pleasure that he fortunately isnât too tired to build on. He sits up and catches your lips in his.Â
âI can do this all night,â he whispers.
And with languid kisses and curious hands mapping each otherâs bodies, you feel the beginnings of learning what your heart could do. Right now, itâs racing, as it feels the desire to be one with him, to share in intimacy and vulnerability as you bare parts of yourself to him with no reservations.Â
You know that starting today, thereâll be more that your heart will learn to do, like understand and forgive. One day, it will heal. And as it soars and finds a home in Jungkookâs arms, you know that one day, it will learn how to love, too.
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Let Me Raise The Bar
T | 3,602 words | Steddie | also on ao3! | Modern AU, Meet Cute, Fluff
This fic is for the @strangerthingswritersguild fic exchange, by @starryeyedjanai and @devondespresso. Thank you to @dreamwatch and @bubblesandink for betaing for me!! <3
dividers by @/thecutestgrotto
edit: oh my god i forgot the keep reading the first time im so sorry guys
This night is going terribly.
He keeps telling himself heâll delete all his dating apps for good, but the prospect of being alone forever always has him re-downloading them.
Right now, heâs remembering why he hates them so much.
He hates Tinder, specificallyâguys on Tinder only want to fuck. And if that was what he was looking for, thatâd be fine, great even!
But he wants a relationship and guys on Tinder will say they want one too and then turn around and leave right after they get what they want.
At least guys on Grindr are upfront about it being just a hookupâno oneâs getting their hopes up or feelings hurt when it turns out to be just that.
Tinder guys will take you on a date and pretend to be interested in you as a person and then won't fucking text back after they leave your apartment the next morning. Itâs annoying and itâs frustrating and itâs a waste of Steve's fucking time at this point.
And this guy tonight isn't even trying to pretend. He tried to get Steve to blow him in his apartment building garage before they even left for the date and he really should have taken that for the red flag that it was.
But Steve looks good, and he did his hair routine that takes entirely too fucking long for no one to appreciate it.
His date drives him to this hole in the wall restaurant that Steve must have passed a million times on the bus ride to his job without ever noticing.
He thought he might be able to turn things around when they got thereâitâs a small Italian place, a real family-owned type vibe to it. He knows before he even orders that the food is going to be some of the best heâs tasted since moving here.
He tries asking the typical first date questions to get to know him, but his date keeps giving him short answers. So he switches to talking about himself a little, but then he realizes his dateâs been staring at his mouth the whole time heâs been talking and Steve finally snaps that he isn't getting into his pants.
Steve breathes out a deep sigh as his âdateâ gets up and goes to the bathroom. Some fucking date this isâthey haven't even gotten their fucking food yet. What a disaster.
âHey,â he hears their waiterâEddie, his nametag reminds Steve when he looks upâsay after a minute of his date being gone. âI hate to be the bearer of super bad news, but I just saw your date slip out the back door, and I don't know if heâs planning on coming back.â
There's a lilt of sympathy in his voice and Steve can't help but snort.
âOf course he did,â Steve says. âWhy can't guys just be upfront about what they want? It would save everyone so much time.â
Heâs not looking for an answer, but Eddie's mouth twists and he says, âGuys are stupid. I mean, theyâd have to be to give up the chance to get to know someone as cute as you.â
Steve can't really muster up a smile at the pity, so he says, âWell, whatever the case, he was my ride home, so I think I need to call a Lyft now. Can you box the food up and bring me the check?â At least heâll have lunch for tomorrow, which doesn't feel like an adequate consolation prize for how shitty he feels right now.
Eddie shakes his head and says, âThereâs no way Iâm letting you pay for such a shitty date.â Steve opens his mouth to protest, but Eddie continues, âTell you what, my shift ends in ten minutes. Why don't I show you how Iâd treat you if we went on a date.â
Steve's heart thuds in his chest, a flicker of hope in this incredibly dull evening. âSeriously?â he asks.
Eddie nods. âThink of it as a trial run. See if I rank good enough for a real one.â He winks and Steve finds himself nodding dumbly, still shocked at the rapid turn of events.
âOkay,â Steve says, kind of breathless.
Eddie heads back to finish cleaning up his other tables before he ends his shift, and Steve fills Robin in over text about what happened.
Heâs still waiting for a response when Eddie shows back up with two plates of food, setting one in front of Steve and the other where his date sat before sliding into the chair across from him.
Heâs wearing a different shirt, Steve realizes. It also looks like he attempted to wrangle his curly hair into something more manageable, maybe sprayed some water on it to smooth it down.
The thought that this guy, this random guy who happened to be his waiter on this horrific night, would put in more effort than his previous date makes Steve's cheeks get hot.
Maybe this night really can turn around.
âAlright, names. Hi, I'm Eddie.â Eddie says, sticking his hand out across the table cartoonishly for a handshake. Steve suppresses a laugh and takes Eddieâs hand with a smile.
âSteve.â He says, and Eddieâs eyes brighten before he takes his hand back.
âSo, Steve, what do you do for fun?â Eddie says, leaning forward slightly with vibrant confidence, tone feeling more and more noticeably rehearsed as he goes. âOther than light up the room with that smile, of course.â
Steve huffs a laugh, blushing despite himself.
âYou practice that one a lot?â
Eddie shrinks back a little, still smiling even as he messes with the hair on the back of his neck, already starting to ruffle what heâd tried to tame.
âYeah, itâs uhâŠâ
âItâs sweet.â Steve leans in a little closer himself, trying to match the effort Eddie keeps putting in. âAlmost as sweet as the smile you're wearing.â
Eddie flushes pink and lets out a little âThank youâ to cover a nervous laughâand christ, Steve is already hooked.
Steve hums and grabs his fork to start eating and Eddie mirrors him.
âThank you for this by the way.â Steve continues, âTonight's been⊠ugh, you know.â
âA special kind of shitty?â
âYeah,â Steve sighs, âSo all this is⊠really nice.â
âI'm glad.â Eddie says, voice soft before he shrugs and continues casually âMâhoping Iâll at least do better than the last guy.â
âYeah, of course, you havenât even asked me to blow you yet or anything.â
Eddie turns red and busts out a nervous laugh, looking away immediately. God, heâs so fucking cute.
âYeah, yeah, I'm notââ Eddie looks back at him, nervous still, but sincere anyway, âThat's not exactly my style.â
âYou a wine and dine kinda guy?â
Eddie shrugs lightly, then he seems to get an idea, leaning in again with a smile âActuallyâ ideally, I'm a dine and mine kinda guy.â
A smile takes over Steveâs face that he canât fully tamp down, a little flustered and a lot amused.
Eddie preens, then continues with a shy smile.
âThough, uh, usually it's more dine andâŠâ Eddie pauses, âPine. Dine and pine. You know, like pining.â
Steve makes his face relax as he nods and leans back. âOh, yeah, like the tree.â
Eddie stops and looks at Steve, and soon Steveâs smile breaks out again.
âNo, I know what you mean.â He says with a little laugh that Eddie quickly mirrors.
Eddie visibly relaxes, slouching overdramatically to the side with a sigh.
âGod, I swear Iâm usually good at this sort of thing, words and stories and shit,â He groans, gesturing around almost like heâs talking to himself, âBut apparently I meet one pretty boy and suddenly Iâve got screws loose. And theyâre all falling out, all across the floor, âthere they go!â, yâknow?â
Steve bites back a snicker and hums a quiet agreement. Eddie notices, though, looks up and sees right to Steveâs amusement, so Steve decides to save them both the embarrassment and move on.
âSo your job. You like it here?
âOh yeah, absolutely,â Eddie says, perking up and gesturing as he starts talking, âThe owners are really cool, they were our neighborsâ Wayneâsâmy uncleâsâneighbors when I first moved in with him, way way back, and they were so chill, loved having people over. Then one time in highschool I mentioned saving up âcause Iâm trying to make it big with my band, and they offered to give me a job here while we get there.â
âThatâs awesome. Your band any good?â
âDepends on who you ask.â Eddie laughs, playing with the food on his plate, âWayne says weâre pretty good, which is probably the equivalent of moms showing up to their toddlerâs dance recitals, but itâs something.â
âWhere'd you guys play?â
âThe Hideout, a couple blocks downâŠâ
Steve nods.
âYeah, itâs, uh, pretty fun if you ever wanted to stop by.â
âSounds like a great second date.â
Eddie blushes, playing with his hair again as he smiles and looks away.
âIâll probably have to wear earplugsâ not because of your band orââ
âNo, no, no, youâre goodââ Eddie says, almost jumping up to reassure him, âItâs metal, thatâs normalâ good, even.â
âOhâ good.â Steve says, a bit awkwardly, and looks back down to his food.
Eddie leaves barely a moment of silence before he pulls the conversation back together.
âSo what about you? You just a professional bad-Tinder-dater?â
Steve huffs and fiddles with his fork.
âGuidance counselor, actually.â
âOh damn, really?â
âYeah, Middle school.â
âOh god,â Eddie groans playfully, âI can't imagine going back there willingly.â
âYeah, I mean, it can get pretty rough,â Steve shrugs, âIt's good though. Kids start thinking about who they are, I get to try and make that a little less shitty.â
âThatâs a tall order.â Eddie laughed into his glass. âI respect it though. Hell, just having a queer adult exist around me wouldâve made a lot of it easier.â
âGod, yeah. I've got practice, at least, for when they need more than just some guy standing around in an office.â he laughed, pulling out sarcastic air quotes for the next part, â I âbabysatâ kids in middle school before I graduated. Bunch of little shits but they were good kidsâ still are good. They're like four years younger than me though, so they're more like siblings than kids.â
âYeah, bet they don't take well to âkidsâ.â
âOh, they hate it.â Steve laughed and Eddie followed with him, âAlways hated it, but Dustin put his foot down after highschool. Rob and I call them my âtwenty-somethingsâ now.â
âGod, wait, how old are you?â Eddie laughed
âTwenty-six.â
Eddie laughed a little louder, a lively and full laugh that looked enchanting on Eddie.
âYou'd love them, they're allâ
Steveâs phone buzzes.
Both of them look over to it on the table. Steve moves it to the seat next to him, looked up to Eddie with an apologetic smile.
His phone buzzes again.
And again, and soon Eddieâs eyes flick in that direction, eyebrow quirking with barely-restrained curiosity.
Then Steveâs phone starts ringing, the electric guitars of Hammer To Fall creeping up in volume way too fast for comfort.
âSorryââ Steve cringes, grabbing his phone and answering the call in a furious whisper, âRobin, are you dying?â
âNo, but thank you for confirming that you arenât.â
âI texted you what happened.â
âYeah and it was vague as hell! I reserve the right to be a worrywart with this shit.â
âYeah, I know.â Steve sighs, but canât really argue with her on it. âThis was going well, thoughââ
âIs.â Eddie chimes in, not trying to be loud enough for the phone to pick it up, just for Steve to hear him clearly.
âIs going well.â Steve smiles.
âOooo okayyy.â Robin hums and Steve can hear her cheeky smile through the phone.
âGoodbye, Robin.â Steve says, failing a half-assed attempt to cover his amusement.
âOh wait no, tell him if he tries anything Iâllââ
âMânot doing that.â
âI will though, Iâll go after himââ
âOh woah youâre breaking up, canât hear you.â Steve deadpans.
âSteve, I knowââ
âLove you, byeââ
âSteeeeveââ
âDonât pull your hair out.â Steve says and hangs up, coming back to the present to Eddie watching him, thankfully looking amused instead of annoyed.
âSorry about that.â Steve says.
âNo, no, itâs fine.â Eddie leans forward again, propping his head up in one hand, âSo⊠friend?â
âBest friend, has to be to get away with shit like that so easily.â
Eddie snorts.
âWhat was she calling about?â
âI wasnât clear that this new date thing was gonna be a good thing.â
Eddie nods civilly.
âShe worries,â Steve continues, âFuckinâ tinder dates, yâknow?â
âUh, not reallyâŠ.â Eddie smiles.
âGood for you. Theyâre all the same asshole in a different haircut.â Steve says, and Eddie smiles, laughing a little with him before continuing with something calmer, a little more earnest.
âThen why keep going to them?â
Steve shrugs.
âCall me an optimist, I guess.â
Eddie hums noncommittally, like heâs thinking more than heâs sharing, and continues the conversation in a lighter direction.
_
The rest of the date is wonderful. A little less chaotic, especially once they start finally eating their food for real, but what it lacks in eventfulness it makes up for in comfort. Theyâre not exactly quiet, but Eddieâs energy always comes with a sincerity underneath, like heâs bold and fun because he just is, and not because heâs making himself be.
Itâs refreshing. And as the night goes on, it becomes intoxicating.
So when Eddie offers to save him the Lyft fee and just drive Steve home, Steve agrees, just to get a little longer in Eddieâs bubble.
Eddie leads him through the restaurant and out the back into a small parking lot with a handful of cars and one big van, decorated with a clearly hand-painted dragon on the side. Which, of course, ends up being Eddieâs.
âDustin would love this thing.â Steve says as he hops into the passengerâs seat, not really thinking twice about it as he looks at the interior, eyes lingering on the big fuzzy dice with too many sides hanging from the mirrors.
âSo Dustin isâŠ?â
âA Twenty-something.â Steve laughs as he spins the fuzzy dice to see all of its sides. âHeâs like my little brother. Loves DnD and science and⊠all the nerd shit.â
âNerd shit?â
âYeah, I meanâ it's not my thing but itâs cool. Iâve played with Dustin and them a couple times.â
âOooo, a bit of a nerd, are we?â Eddie hums in a weird, almost witchy voice.
âCasually.â
âMmm, but youâre already down the path~~â
âJust drive, dude.â Steve says with a fond eye roll.
âAs you wish, your majesty.â Eddie hums in his normal voice, giving Steve a glowing glance before shoving the keys in.
âAlright, I'm about to push your nerd-tolerance to its limits.â Eddie says, pulling out his phone with a grin. He connects it to the car and quickly turns it down before drums and guitar erupt from the speakers, and Steve flinches at the volume.
âSorry, sorry.â Eddie whispers and turns down the music again.
Steve nods, and after a second of the music playing much more quietly, he finds it much more comfortable. Nice, even. The energy is quick and alive like Eddie is, though the aggressive vocals fit his outward aesthetic more than his borderline goofy demeanor.
âItâs not the music, I promise.â Steve says, saying it casually but meaning it sincerely.
âYouâre fine, I get it.â Eddie laughs, a little too cynically for Steveâs liking.
âNo, Iââ Steve reaches for Eddieâs hand between them, intertwining fingers and bringing both hands up between them, âIâm serious, I like it. My headâs a little sensitive, been hit a few too many times, but itâs nice. Itâs bold and very energetic⊠stuff that I already like about you.â
Eddie blushes hardâa sweet cherry pinkâas he slouches, bringing their joined hands closer to his face like heâs trying to hide behind them. Eddie rests his forehead against the back of Steveâs hand and huffs a quiet laugh.
âGod, youâre quite the charmer, Stevie.â Eddie says, and Steve finds his face warming too.
âAnd Iâm guessing itâs working?â Steve laughs.
Eddie looks up at him, smiling wide.
âOh, itâs working very well.â Eddie says, and brings their hands closer to him again to plant a soft kiss onto Steveâs hand.
Steveâs face goes warm again, lights him on fire, and Eddieâs smile turns slightly smug before he looks away.
âAlright,â Eddie says, looking back to the front to drive but not letting go of Steveâs hand. He even reaches his left arm over to change the gears, leaning into how silly he looks to make Steve laugh.
Itâs sweet, it's genuine, and it's everything to Steve.
Eddie starts driving, hand still firmly holding onto Steveâs, neither of them willing to let go first. Steve looks at it as Eddie drives, splitting most of his attention between their hands, Eddieâs profile lit up by the colorful city lights, and the road ahead as he navigates Eddie to his apartment.
And if they miss a turn or two because Steveâs tired brain doesnât want to watch the damn road? Eddie doesnât mention it.
_
âAlright.â Eddie says, putting the car into park with his left hand again, though far less comically now.
He sits there for a second, quiet like somethingâs on his mind, so Steve waits.
âOkay, uh,â Eddie starts, looking vaguely down as he wanders through what he wants to say, âI had fun, Iâm assuming by how the nights gone that you did, tooâŠâ
Steve squeezes Eddie's hand, and Eddie laughs.
âI had a really great time. And I want to do this again, if you want to.â Eddie glances up at Steve for a second before his eyes dart away again. âBut I want to be sure youâre⊠youâre not being an optimist with me. That you want want this, yâknow, because you're an amazing guy, Stevie. I donât know how you keep having such shit luck but believe me when I tell you it's not because of you.â
Eddie looks back up at him again and keeps his gaze there, looking more relaxed now.
âSo, uh, I would love to take you out again.â Eddie says, âIf you want to.â
If he wants to, as if that's not the most romantic thing Steveâs heard in his life.
Steve almost says that. He also debates kissing him or pulling him into an awkward hug over the center console that heâs sure would be put up with no matter how uncomfortable itâd be. But Steve doesnât, because Eddie continues before Steve can make a decision.
âWhat do you want?â
Steve resists the urge to say a cheesy âYouâ and thinks about it, really thinks so he can put together words that make sense, so he can give Eddie a real answer.
âI want a long relationship. A real one, yâknow?â
Eddie nods.
âAnd I want to get married, someday. I want someone whoâll stay that long, who will love and let me love them, all cheesy and clingy and shit.â
Eddie hums, searching Steveâs face.
âAnd?â
Steve looks down at the joined hands between them.
âAnd Iâd love if it were you. Youâre sweet, so sweet, but youâre also⊠alive. Everything you do, youâreâŠâ Steve thinks hard for a moment, working out how to phrase it. âItâs like the world doesnât weigh you down. And youâre so genuine and youâll come and say what you mean like itâs nothing, and I think every one of the people in my lifeâmy favorite peopleâwould love being around you almost as much as I do.â
Steve looks back up to him, face hot with another intense flush, and tries to smile casually.
âHate to break it to you, dude, but youâre kinda my perfect man.â
Eddie huffs a breathy laugh, face painted with disbelief and wonder.
âOkay, then. Case closed.â
âYeah,â Steve hums, with as much fondness as possible. Steve leans in across the center console, bringing a hand up slowly, trying to signal that heâs leaning in for a kiss.
It takes Eddie a second, and Steve gets to watch him look down at Steveâs hand and look at Steve leaning in, gets to see the moment it clicked before Eddie lunges to meet him halfway and then some, making the hand that was supposed to cradle Eddieâs face hold onto the seat beneath him to keep their balance.
Eddie kisses him hard at first, bringing a hand up to card through Steveâs hair, excited and alive. Then Eddie seems to come back to his senses, moving back but taking Steve with him until theyâre both leaning over the center again.
Their kiss softens, intensity melting out into fondness, gentle but passionate, warm and Steve wants to melt from it.
Still, Steveâs going home tonight, going to go upstairs to Robin and tell her all about it. Heâll get to have a good night's sleep in a bed that doesnât need cleaning, and heâll get to wake up to the idea of something new brewing fresh in his mind.
Steve pulls back gently and Eddie does the same, eyes flicking open one after the other, a smile on Steveâs face and another lighting up Eddieâs.
Steve catches his breath, feeling lighter now than he has in ages, and Eddie opens his mouth to say something again.
âDoes this mean I can get your number?â
#stranger things#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie fic#steddie fluff#fluff#modern au#happy ending#devon's writings
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