#I read those books and now I'm pagan

[varian-ross-horror-author]

Long Goodbye (Goretober 2024)

Whoever designed the afterlife really should have considered that light can cause reflection.

At the moment when the world was supposed to be perfect, I was no longer one of the faithful.

"Do it." Those words, so resigned. Like even the hand of Christ himself was being forced into actions he did not want.

Many had turned away as the pit had opened up, and the unbelievers--goats--it was so much easier to think of them as goats and we as the saved sheep--fell down into eternity. Into darkness. Not outer darkness, as we had been told, but right beneath our feet.

Then the earth closed up, swallowing screams. Was it the dark they feared? The heights? That they had been--

I could not complete the thought. There were two ways for that sentence to end. That they had been damned for all time, or that they had been given every chance in the world and still rejected what we'd been told was the truth beyond measure.

My sister had been in there. She'd been in agony since the horses with their awful stingers had risen out of Hell to punished the wicked.

But what crime warranted that? What had she done that was so great it meant living as a pile of paralyzed inflamed nerve endings after leaping from the roof of our apartment building to escape?

Before the world had ended, she could have died on impact. But she had not. The only reason she stopped screaming, she once slowly spelled into my palm, was because it took too much energy.

We faithful had gone to the sides of those the Almighty had tortured, to give what comfort we could. We had tried to explain. And in the paralyzed silence of my sister, those explanations began to fall apart.

Now as we danced down streets made of gold, I listened to the silence of the earth beneath our feet. As my limbs contorted and bent in a dance I had never been capable of in life, I wondered if my feet would bruise. (There will be no pain.) Would we be dancing until our limbs were stumps, unable to stop even as flesh, blood, and finally bone wore away? Would this perfect new world, given time, be filled with nothing but flopping torsos?

When the plague of darkness fell, my sister became the one sighted person in the communal household her blind friends set up. They needed someone to read the New World Order's junk mail, she would say with a strained smile when I asked why she was there. I thought the strain was from helping those with the worst affliction--I once told her that I would rather die than never see light again.

One day I dropped by for a surprise visit, to find her blindfolded and laughing as she cooked a pot of spaghetti on the stove. I watched as she effortlessly broke the noodles over the boiling water, my heart speeding up as she checked the dial by touch alone. I did not speak, but stood in the doorway until she called her housemates for dinner.

"And Chloe to, I suppose," she had said with a sightless glance towards me. "You tap your foot when you panic" was all she said as she slipped the blindfold off. Her beautiful blue eyes had danced in the candle light ("I lit these for you, I'm fine in the dark.")

Now she was in the dark forever, and I was in the light. Hours had passed, hour of laughter and smiles and songs that were all about the same thing. How wonderful life was now, how amazing our God was. Our. God.

"You asshole of an Old Man," Chloe had said with a fist shaken at the sky.

My heart had leapt--even calling the Father an asshole was a start. It was an acknowledgement of his--

"You melodramatic One-Eyed Bastard," my sister continued as she unloaded the third bag of groceries, clear affection in her voice. "Only found the second food bank because of all the ravens perched on the sign outside."

I could ask, what about those other people and their other gods. But the instant I went to form my question, my throat closed up in the soon to be forgotten echos of grief. I did not feel sad, but it was the recollection of sadness.

"If there's no night, there won't be stars," she had said on the final phone call. "Don't tell me that light is all I need."

"We are called to be light--" I began. I could hear the strange hoof beats on concrete and the hissing of snakes so near.

"Fuck your light. Goodbye."

Those were the last words my sister spoke with a throat that worked. I tell myself that our goodbye began long ago, but that is only a way to console myself.

As I walk the rooms of my heavenly mansion, and find no curtains, I wonder if there will come a day that I would rather die ("There will be no more death.") than never see darkness again.

[wizzard890]

is your objection to mists of avalon because marion zimmer bradley was a monster, or is it just the book itself? (i haven't read it since i was a teenager, and for whatever reason the warlord chronicles made more of an impression on me when it came to modern arthurian retellings-- idk if that's better or worse)

Oh, I hated the book well before Marion Zimmer Bradley was revealed to be a detestable sex criminal, for reasons entirely unrelated to her real-world crimes.

However, some Mists of Avalon specific crimes include:

Writing a book that is not so much a story as a tedious polemic about how yonic egalitarian ~Celtic~ paganism was destroyed by the brutal militant power of Christianity and the penis, an idea that was both stupid and deeply academically dated by the time of Mists of Avalon's publication.

Her characterization of Guinevere, which is to this day the most misogynistic portrayal I have ever seen, including 14th century and Victorian depictions.

I use "characterization" lightly, since most of the people in this book are dull mouthpieces for ideologies, or a meager assembly of one to two personality traits, especially the men. (Morgaine is the most special princess of all, so she sometimes gets up to three personality traits!)

The male characters are paper dolls, which is an issue when you're re-telling the Arthurian saga. When you're doing a feminist retelling of the Arthurian saga it's actually an even worse issue, because:

She isn't a creative enough writer to take liberties with plot (something this book has in very short supply), so she's stuck with the framework of the legends, which usually involve women attempting to trick or compete for the male characters. Unfortunately, as perviously stated, the male characters are not good, so you're left with a bunch of women backbiting and fighting and risking it all for some interchangeable dipshit, which doesn't reflect well on them. For a book that's all about how women belong to some sacred and beautiful vagina sisterhood, the female characters in this book sure spend a lot of time hating one another for being prettier than them.

It's too long. It's two hundred and thirty six pages longer than Hilary Mantel's Wolf Hall, widely praised as one of the best books of the 21st century. We simply do not require all that, Marion.

Saint Patrick catches the stray of all time here; he's ported over to England for some reason, becomes Arthur's personal confessor, and boy he just hates women! The worst, those women!

Needless changing of people's names. Lancelet? Come on.

The reduction of early Christianity (and medieval Christianity) to basically whatever your personal childhood priest/pastor said that bothered you is an absolute epidemic in genre writing, and it's all over this book. The poster child for "he would not say that" but "he" is a bunch of monks on Lindisfarne.

This isn't a cardinal sin, but if a story is all about the tides of Goddess-blessed pagan freedom and ~sexuality~, then the sex scenes should be good, right? Like, these are thematically load-bearing, they need to hit. In a turn of events that everyone saw coming if they've read this far, Mists of Avalon is a "big, meaty phallus" sort of book.

That's not all, but I'm tired of thinking about this dumb story now and frankly it's a crime that Arthur, Lancelot, and Guinevere have a three-way in this book, and it neither fixes everything or makes anything worse. Mists of Avalon: a radical reimagining that never meets a novel idea it won't squander.

[nastasya--filippovna]

WHO IS CROWLEY AFTER THE FALL?

so there is a LOT of debate over who Crowley was before The Fall. I have seen a lot of headcanons going around the place saying he was Raphael or Kokabiel or Baraqiel.

I mean this is the Exhibit A for saying that Crowley is Baraqiel. I think NOT.

Because this is a handbook written by demons for demons. The title is literally (if my memory serves me right) a guide to angelic beings that walk the earth. SO Crowley is not That..

Other than the red hair thing, no other physical characteristic matches. This Baraqiel guy sounds like an absolute gremlin. grisly slug, occasionally damp. NOT CROWLEY. I mean she's the most dashing thing around.

NO. #3 It says CROWLEY one line above the name Baraqiel. If Crowley is Baraqiel then why would his demon name appear right under that?????

And I think somewhere Neil Gaiman refuted this theory (I'm not really sure but I think so plz don't come at me with pitchforks if I got it wrong). So.......

But this is all beside the point. What I'm trying to say is that too much has been said about who Crowley was before he fell. There is very little, if not none, that has been said about who he was After.

Some say that he's an insignificant demon or some loser guy in Hell or whatever the equivalent of an angel principality deputy on Earth is.

I BEG TO DIFFER.

He is Important. Just look at the kind of assignments he's given. Original Sin, Major Historical Temptations and Evil Acts, Delivering the Antichrist and bringing about Armageddidn't.

But who is he exactly??????????

So canonically we're never told what Crowley's rank in Hell is. But there are more that enough hints for us to figure that out for ourselves.

But where does one place him when the hierarchy is so complex and varying across different historical and theological sources.

Such as here:

I have been thinking about this and I have two current theories

Crowley is Astaroth

Crowley is The Leviathan

I'll discuss only one in this post. I'll save the other for the next post.

Now book!Omens clearly tells us that Crowley or Crawley is not his real demonic name. For those who haven't read the book this happens when Hastur Lavista and Ligur come to hand over the antichrist to Crowley in the churchyard and as he's about to sign his name as "Crowley" they tell him to sign his real demonic name.

Are you with me?!!!!!

NANNY ASHTORETH!

Why did she use this particular name for her nanny disguise. What if...... what if this IS her real demon name.

A lot of my real life friends are annoyed beyond measure by my constant ranting about etymologies, origin and construction of discourse and epistemology, especially when it comes to presenting my thesis over how all Abrahamic religions and their symbology and iconography is, how do I put it, inspired from pagan religions that they expunged. I mean the concept of angles, the man shaped being with wings that is actually just a ball of fire or eyes or hale discs or sth is a pagan Persian concept.

Back to the matter at hand.

Ashtoreth, Astaroth, Astarte, Ishtar, are all the same name in different dialects and languages. All of these refer to a certain Babylonian goddess. When the People of God probably cleansed off all the infidels they decided to literally demonize their god and name a demon after her. In Milton's Paradise Lost Astaroth is one of the three princes or Grand Dukes of Hell alongside Beelz and Lucifer. If this theory might be true Crowley is a Prince/Grand Duke of Hell.

Now this gets even more interesting. Ashtoreth, Astarte, whatever you may, is a goddess of fertility and is associated with childcare. I mean at this point I just stopped to marvel at the attention to detail that Mr. Gaiman's work hold, the smallest hidden meanings in the storytelling.

Another thing. The Babylonians built these temples called ziggurats to worship Astarte and they looked something like this

and this

they were also known as sky temples.

Because Astaroth was first and foremost the goddess of stars and the Babylonians were stargazers and the temples were constructed as a stairway to heaven to take them closer to the stars and functioned as an observatory at times.

I'm just imagining Crowley turning up in ancient Babylon and with her other-worldly looks, knowledge of the stars and compassion for children they just..... started to worship her.

Before the Christians came and declared them pagans and the rest is history.

Continued in next post for the second theory......

[necromancer-at-abattoir]

Aight, so I was just rereading The Sword of Summer and TLT by Rick Riordan, and I came to parts where the Norse and Greek gods were called 'lowercase G gods,' while the Abrahamic gods were called, 'Capital G gods.'

And, I saw this before, but only NOW did I realised how HORRIBLY OFFENSIVE AND INCORRECT THAT WAS.

Why, you want to know?

Well.........do you realise that there are Hellenistic Pagans and Heathens (Norse Pagans) who view their gods as highly as Christians view their God and Muslims view Allah?

Like, holy shit, Rick, you did not have to downgrade them like that. There was no. effing. need for that. No need at all.

This just reeks of blatant Abrahamic superiority, which is annoying.

No, really. Let's just imagine that you have god(s) that you worship, and one day, you read a book about them and find that hey, guess what! We downgraded your gods' importance now! A religion WORSHIPPING THEM? What even IS that? Ew, no, there's no religion at all. No, these gods are one-sided DOOFUSES!

All I'm saying right now is that I can see why so many Hellenistic Pagans and Greek people hate PJO. There's nothing wrong with hating it for those reasons.

I was actually looking at and reading about Hellenistic Paganism these past few months, so.........yeah. Just think about this post for some time. And please don't think that PJO Greek gods are an accurate portrayal of the REAL Greek Gods. DON'T.

[liesinmyeyes]

hey, so I'm a new pagan witch and one who has barely practiced anything yet/ has only like 10 pages filled in their book of shadows

i am seeking advice on what to do with myself and my craft and practices, or just hoping someone has felt/currently feels the same way I do because I'm the only pagan witch I know irl and have no one to tell this to.

practicing witchcraft makes me anxious? I haven't really done anything aside from wearing crystal necklaces and sleeping with an amethyst below my pillow, but i'm lowkey afraid to do much more than that because whenever I do research across the internet (don't worry, I don't only take one pinterest source at face value, I make sure to look at other sources on the internet and always check with multiple witchy forums/threads or just simply history sources if the practice is closed/appropriated or should be done as a beginner) - but here is my issue. There's soooo many sources on the internet that tell you so many differing opinions. Some sources will say "NO WAY DON'T EVER DO THAT" while others will go "it's okay and totally safe". I haven't ever read a book abt witchcraft because I know how much TERF-y and culturally appropriate-y agendas they have and the amount of misinformation in a lot of them. I almost got radicalized once before and I told myself "never again", so i'm too afraid to pick up a book half the witches praise for being so good and accurate and half condemn for including TERF bs. I know I should form my own opinions on magic(k) and how I percieve witchcraft but i just get this BOUT of anxiety whenever I see a post anywhere on the internet saying "DONT EVER DO THAT AS A WITCH" or something along those lines... i can never tell what's just gatekeepy fear-mongering and what's an actual closed/dangerous practice anymore and it makes me too afraid to pursue anything because I fear bad things happening to me more than anything. I think it's a side effect of my neurodivergent self wanting to be told exactly what I can and can't do (considering my ethnic identity) and how and when to do it, what moral code to abide by, which is a tough ask in something like witchcraft.

i often feel swayed and get these bouts of guilt for NOT being christian. I grew up areligious in a very christian country with an added sprinkle of shaming people for being religious (which i dont agree with obvs). When I was agnostic and not giving any thought to religion at all, it was fine and dandy. But now that I identify myself as a pagan who worships the greek gods, I often feel, idk, ashamed of it? I'm friends with some very devout christian gals and whenever they talk about going to church or getting their sins forgiven I just feel so guilty and kind of like I'm sinning myself. I feel like I shouldn't be believing in the Gods and should be christian instead, even though SO many of my world views don't align with christianity's teachings and frankly, I don't want to be christian? I want the Gods to be real and I want to worship them. But I often doubt my faith in them and feel the guilt of not being christian like everyone else in my country. Is this a faith issue? On some days I won't doubt the Gods existing at all and feel all happy and uplifted and sure in my faith and on other days I'll be sitting around all day, questioning all my morals and beliefs and questioning whether I'm going to hell for praying to the greek gods. Maybe it's because of all my sorroundings (multiple churches in my town, Jesus statues everywhere, very christian friends) that I feel that way, but if anyone could tell me how to stop these thoughts I'd give ANYTHING to do that. (Not that there's anything wrong with christianity or finding comfort in it, its just that whenever I think about it I get anxious because the concept of eternal torture just for enjoying life on earth scares me. On the other hand, I DO find comfort in worshiping the greek gods. I feel more beautiful, inspired to write, so on and so forth...)

[the-devils-library]

A Brief History of Satanism

I see quite a bit of misinformation circulated about Satanism's historical origins, both online and in the pages of books, so I thought it may be worthwhile to give a breakdown of the truth as my research has shown it to me. I have no official credentials as a historian, but I'm a theistic Satanist who takes my religion and my research very seriously. I encourage all to read my words and respond with corrections if they notice a mistake in my work; that being said, I will likely demand sources if someone's "correction" conflates with what my research has shown me.

First off, I'm going to disappoint many of my fellow theistic Satanists with this announcement: Satanism is not ancient. It's not older than Christianity, it's not even as old as Christianity, by a long shot. I suspect this need to insist that Satan and his followers are an ancient faith (or that they can somehow be found within other faiths, such as comparing Satan to Pan or Shiva) stems from Christianity. Christianity was once a very new religion in comparison to those that surrounded it, and in order to gain followers and create legitimacy for themselves, Christians had to insist that their religion was the only true one, that their god had been pulling the strings from the beginning, and that if you looked back in Jewish holy writings you'd find evidence of Jesus and his teachings. Let us Satanists not make the same mistake.

And secondly, to disappoint the atheists in the crowd: LaVey didn't invent Satanism. Yes he was very impactful on the Satanic scene, especially in the anglosphere, but he didn't invent the entire religion.

Alright, let's start at the beginning.

Satan, and the concept of worshiping him, began in the minds of Christians. That may seem like a let-down to some people, but it's the truth. Satan as a powerful lord of evil and enemy of God didn't exist before Christianity. The concept of the satan, or adversary, existed within Judaism, a famous example being the satan of Job, but this was a job for an angel working under God. For further understanding of the Jewish satan you'd have to look into Jewish writing on the topic, but if you want a basic historical explanation, Elaine Pagels' The Origin of Satan gives good context in simple terms. For now I'd just like to emphasize that Capital-S-Satan does not exist in Judaism. That's where the word came from, but it had a different meaning from what Christianity gave it.

When Christianity came along, of course, they began to use the word Satan to refer to the enemy of God, and thus anything they considered to be ungodly or against their beliefs was instead under the domain of Satan. Jews, Pagans, other Christians with differing beliefs or customs, anyone was fair game to be accused of being a Satanist.

This does not mean any of those people were actually worshiping Satan.

"Satanist" was not a real religious identity that anyone claimed, it was an insult and an accusation hurled by Christians at those they wanted to oppress, silence, and control. The Christian worldview did not allow for cultures and religions other than there own (or even variation within their own). If someone wasn't a follower of God, then they were a follower of the Devil, end of discussion.

It is very dangerous, therefore, to assume that any of these people accused of Satanism in the far past would actually have self-identified as Satanists. In my mind it is comparable to thinking the "witches" of the Salem witch trials would've self-identified as such (they did not, they "admitted" to witchcraft under torture. I hope I don't have to explain why that isn't a reliable thing to cite when trying to parse whether someone was a witch or not). By claiming that any group persecuted by Christians in the far past were secretly Satanic, we are not only stripping those people of their actual identities and cultures, we are agreeing with the Christians who harmed them.

To my knowledge we don't see anyone actually viewing Satan in a positive or sympathetic light until the emergence of Romantic Satanism in the late 1700s through the 1800s, with writings by poets like Percy Shelley and of course John Milton. Romantic Satanism, it should be emphasized, was not a religious movement, but an artistic one. Different writers of the era had varied religious identities, from Christian to the beginnings of Atheism, but while they were writing about Satan with more nuance and personality than he'd ever been given before, they were not worshiping him or intending to write holy texts.

It isn't until the 1900s that we begin to see inklings of truly religious Satanism, and not always by that name exactly. Aleister Crowley, founder of Thelema, had some Satanic flavor to his persona (calling himself the Beast 666), despite saying he did not consider himself a Satanist nor worshiped Satan. Crowley's contemporary, Maria de Naglowska, founded a sex-based magical society and religion called The Brotherhood of Eulis, which centered on Satan as the embodiment of Reason, and the story of Adam and Eve as the original magical act of a woman granting magical knowledge to her lover through sex. The Neo-pagan religion Adonism was founded by Franz Sättler, who equated Adonis with Satan in a positive way. There are more to name but this post is already lengthy.

These movements were scattered, some were not well-documented, and many happened in Europe and the original texts were never translated to English. I believe this is part of the reason why Americans and others in the anglosphere may only know of LaVey as Satanism's modern father, because of course, in the 1960s, we got the Church of Satan, and their accompanying Bible. Again, this is a lengthy subject I'm sure I'll make more posts on later, but LaVeyan Satanism is, to my knowledge, the origin of the atheistic Satanism movement, the worldview that deities aren't real (though magic may be, depending on how closely we're sticking with LaVey's worldview) and Satan is a figurehead used to symbolize self-worship. Though they share very few philosophical values, it is due to this version of atheistic Satanism that The Satanic Temple exists today, practicing their own version of Satanism, also without literal deities. It is also due to the CoS that the Temple of Set came to be, as it was originally formed by LaVeyan Satanists who wanted something more theist.

With the creation of the internet we have seen many Satanist authors and some scattered churches, covens, and groups arise; Marie RavenSoul (edit: RavenSoul no longer considers herself Satanic, and has converted to Christianity), Aleister Nacht and Magnum Opus, Rev. Cain, Brother Nero, and others. Some of these groups and authors inspired one another, others seem to have sprung up on their own. Others, I'm sure, have been lost to time, and that saddens me as a scholar of Satan and his followers. But that is part of my mission with this blog, is to track down and keep record of every Satanic resource I can find, no matter how obscure.

Follow The Devil's Library here on Tumblr for more posts like this, as well as book reviews in the future. Ave Satanas to my fellow followers of Satan, and to all others, I bid you good day.

[DISCLAIMER: The Devil's Library is not affiliated with any of the previously mentioned groups or authors. It is an independent project by a single Satanist. Do not mistake my mentioning of an author or group as endorsement for their beliefs and practices.]

[ofrunestoruins]

Introducing Rune ✨️

Hello! I'm Rune! If you saw my name as something different on my blog before I changed it, no you didn't haha

Anyways, some quick facts about me:

🦊 I'm nonbinary, (Although more along the lines of gender fluid)

🦊 I'm 24

🦊 I love languages, history, writing, tea, and have a special connection with foxes; I tend to study pretty frequently in my free-time and I also love a good ttrpg, video game, and book.

🦊 I'm Polish American but sadly the only thing passed down from my grandparents were those lovely, lovely polish recipes, and they passed long before I can ask them more about how they grew up, so you may see some content on this blog about me discovering my roots as a Polish American from Appalachia living (suffering) in the south haha

🦊 I'm also striving to learn herbalism, but non in a crunchy, conservative way (Because yes, that does need to be clarified these days it seems)

🦊 I hate bigots and I WILL stand on business if you try to come on my blog and interact with me if you're one of them. (Aka I will block you if you are anything from a neo-nazi, to a terf, to a homophobe. Do not interact with me if you're gonna hate on others for being who they are.)

🦊 And finally- I love baking and cooking, so there might be a bit of flare of that as well.

Now, onto some facts about my practice:

With that being said, I believe that covers enough of the basics, but! If you ever have any questions about me or my practice or just wanna chat- feel free to send me an ask or a message! I'd love to chat!

🦊 I am.. very heavily pagan. Specifically Norse and Hellenic, however I've recently been looking into Celtic, and Slavic Paganism

🦊 Although rn I'm more of an eclectic witch, I'm currently building my craft from the ground up with a much heavier focus on folk magic. I will be splitting content, however, across 3 blogs. This one will be more basic, lighthearted stuff, things I wanna review first, take my time with, or very introductory; @ofwoodandash which will cover more intense, darker, and more specialized topics including but not limited too: Seiðr, traditional witchcraft, Appalachian Witchcraft, Spirit Work, chthonic aspects and the like; and finally @apagansprayers which will cover things more religious in Nature, mostly as a digital prayer book and personal e-shrine to the deities I worship, as actual information may be reblogged here (To this blog you're reading this from),, I'm still.. debating how to use that blog specifically BUT that´s a general outline.

🦊 I also have almost a decades worth of experience with Tarot, Oracle, and Pendulum readings, and I'm also currently learning the Runes

Check out Rune's Tag Masterlist for a handy guide on how to navigate this blog! (Will be posted soon)

[sulphuricgrin]

Gonna talk about my year and how I think I'm in a more optimistic place compared to last December. Warning: mental health, mentions of self-harm but not elaborating how, mention of previous attempt but not mentioning how. ramblings of a person who wants this outta their head.

i'm bewildered by how I got to where I am now

Let me start off with the fact that September-December 2023 was a low point. Heavy anxiety, long manic episode, taking lots of overtime, being the best in my little department but my manager refusing to do a yearly review, and a relationship I didn't know how to end led to a severe anxiety attack.

I took a month off work to work with my psychiatrist on my medication. Within two hours of my first day back, my coworker triggered my C-PTSD. Unable to flee, can't fight, I do the only thing to control my emotions - self harm. Long story short, HR notices and sends me to the hospital. I'm sent back out of work and start a partial program.

I've done this before in 2011. I do my best at the program, stayed there for a month. We change up my medication. They help me find a therapist for when I finish the program. I had some hang ups with the program. Music therapy would make me want to harm myself. I told my case worker the truth and they told me I can leave those sessions when I want.

I hate positive affirmations. I won't use examples because they're valid to other people and I don't want to be negative to what might help others. To me they always felt hollow, insipid, childish. It never clicked, no matter at what age I tried it.

I've mentioned several times that I like philosophy. During the program, I brought with me Medications by Marcus Aurelius to read during lunch or the few minutes between sessions. Quotes on stoicism became my positive affirmations in sessions.

"The happiness of you life depends upon the quality of your thoughts."

"You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength."

"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth."

Anyways, I got better, or so I thought. The day I "graduated" as I drove home, my mom told me my dad finally died. That's a complicated situation, with complicated emotions. Anyways, I spiraled. Self-harm and isolation. By the end of the week, I was forced into inpatient.

Inpatient was immensely worthless, except for one bit. My whole ward was shut down because of fucking Covid. So you were stuck in your shared room with your roommate, no sessions, no walking around. Little stimulation. The longest 3 days of my life. I've done inpatient 2 times before, 2012 and 2017 (for suicide attempt then), so I know 72 hrs is the minimum and that as long as I'm not a risk I can leave. Thank fuck my mom was able to give me a philosophy book to read. And that I was able to get access to a pencil that I had to return at the end of the day, so I could draw (and not with crayons). I did start writing for Fate-Touched when I was in the ward.

Anyways, they helped figure out with blood tests that my Tegretol and Seroquel interact. Therefore my Seroquel has to be doubled. And they put me on Gabapentin for anxiety. I can safely say it's helping now a year later, besides upping the dosages about 3 times since. I occasionally see my therapist who's pagan. First therapist I've ever clicked with, one who believes my feelings are valid, one who doesn't think I'll change my mind about children in the future. I'd see her more often if I didn't have to pay out of pocket. But she's noticed my improvement.

a year later, I am single and happier

a year later, I work for myself. While I'm not crazy about that, it's proving to be healthier. (I didn't quit my job. they illegally fired me over my disability. Yes, I've suing)

a year later, I'm back to being creative. Similar to the levels back in 2013 and before. People are even buying my art?!

a year later, I have people I can call friends (I'm genuinely trying not to cry writing this- never mind, I'm crying)

a year later, I'm living more in the present.

it's not all perfect. I try not to think about the near distant future. I try not to think about the existential dread. But I'm trying. And it gets better.

“What we do now echoes in eternity.”

[im-getting-help]

I'm going just randomly put my ideas here and hear you talk cause I can(I'm lonely)

WOLFBOY FELIX

Here, the maze scene, but Felix decides not to hear Oliver and starts walking more into the woods around Saltburn(Oliver follows trying to keep talking) they hear a sound, Oliver tries to make Felix come back with him, cause he is scared about what could happen. Long story short, a gigantic wolf tried to attack Oliver, Felix saves him, and now he's a werewolf 🤓🫵

AAA I FORGOT ABOUT THIS SRRY!! Please keep putting all your ideas here, i love it!!

okay, im gonna be honest, i have absolutely no idea about werewolves, i was always team vampires so im pretty uneducated on magical wolves history.

nonetheless... i love the idea of Felix, reaching the end of puberty and immediately entering second puberty as a dog LMAO that poor man, give him a rest. He's already so horny all the time and now THIS.

Anyways, Saltburn is absolutely cursed and attracts mythical creatures.

All Cattons suffered some kind of supernatural encounter. Sadly Felix had the worst luck (is karma, he's usually really lucky but you know how lucky people tend to have one misfortune that kinda fucks their whole life at once?), now he's a werewolf.

Granny Catton, the last member of the family who knew and studied about the mythical and magical history of the lineage and grounds, is dead. Sir James still has all of her books, although he doesn't believe, he knew better than to get rid of his mother's paganic possessions (his mother told him that if he EVER got rid of those books she would come back to haunt him until he returned every single one of them).

Now, Felix and Oliver sit and read the books, try to find any information about lycantropy. They end up finding out about all Saltburn not so secret history and how the grounds became cursed in the first place.

who cursed Saltburn? that's a story for another day.

There's not much info on lycantropy, but, granny's diaries redirect their attention. She spent most her life trying to lift the curse off the grounds and off the family, all her discoveries are all written there. Apparently granny played with the lineage since she could give birth, and aunt Fredericka knows something about the Catton bloodline that SirJames ignores. They should talk to Farleigh, maybe arrange a visit to auntie... but my god Felix is really horny right now and Oliver smelles so good, sweaty from lifting and carrying boxes filled with books. Oliver's looking at him through his glasses with those blue eyes that remind Felix of a clear night sky and full moon.

Fuck the curse, he needs to fuck Oliver right here and now.

[raayllum]

what fae like qualities do you believe aaravos has?

I don't know enough about the fae to say definitively (I've read some works depicting fae, such as The Faerie Queene by Edmund Spenser from the 1500s, A Midsummer Night's Dream by Shakespeare, some other folklore myths) but I try to stay away from sources that are too Christianized for stuff that's more Pagan / northern and western Europe and the 1500s has plenty already.

When in doubt I'm loosely using wikipedia / old class notes for reference but if there's a site or source I think is cool and helpful I'll note it down below.

There is some that are generally common knowledge, such as:

Fae being mischevious tricksters with very particular phrasing. They don't tend to often be outright malevolent as a motivation, but often do harm to humans anyway either due to ignorance or blue-orange morality.

Blue-orange morality (for those who don't want to watch a video) is basically when a creature or being does not have a morality that operates that we would define it (on a spectrum of ethical right or wrong actions per consequence or intention). A good example is the spirits from ATLA (not LOK) or One-One from Infinity Train. He's a helpful little robot guy and he loves his friends, but he is ultimately bound and operates within the Train's rules. It's not that he can't deter from the Train's rules without distress or that he doesn't want to, it's that deterring from the Train's rules just doesn't compute to him as even a thing to do. He's operating on his own unique level and it's what turns him from a S1 ally to a S2 antagonist (but not villain).

There tends to be an emphasis on names, deals, and exchanges, i.e. if a Fae says "Can you give me your name?" and you tell them it, they own it and you by extension now, stuff like that. Also have a tendency to give humans they like, or humans who do nice things for them, gifts (whether it's actually a beneficial gift is sometimes debatable).

The Fae often lure humans away from the Ordinary Realm into the Faerie Realm, where time and magic work differently. Sometimes this means being whisked away, or unknowingly stepping through fairy rings. This can include both the Seelie and the UnSeelie Court (Scottish folklore).

Examples of the Fae in popular culture include Spirited Away (don't eat the food!), changeling myths (faerie leaving their babies in place of your own, nowadays seen as a connection to old stories of Autistic individuals), arguably Coraline (film and book), will-o-the-wisps, and other figures in Welsh, Cornish, and broad European folklore, etc.

Variants / similarities include huldufolk (Icelandic and Faroese folklore), sirens (Greek), kelpies (Scottish), etc. Over time Christian (bc of course) associations have also been applied as both demoted angels and tempting devils, but that sort of works given one of Aaravos' most prominent comparisons is Lucifer, and Prometheus, who were as crafty and clever as they come.

Basically:

Aaravos emphasis (or lack thereof) regarding his name and the general mystery surrounding it — "My name would mean nothing to you" even in the face of Viren's demands

We see the emphasis on phrasing given that it's been stated by the crew that Aaravos never lies, but we know he purposefully obscures and omits information

Entering into deals and exchanges with humans, giving them gifts and promises (Ziard's staff, Viren's rule for himself and Viren's life for Claudia)

Him seducing Viren yes I said it / everything with Sir Sparklepuff tbh

Fae can also sometimes set trials to pass or tasks for people to fulfil, similar-ish to Aaravos giving Viren a little fetch quest for them to communicate / "Those who fail tests of love are simple animals."

We don't know what Aaravos actually wants, exactly, or why, but given the indifference of the other Startouch elves to humanity's plights (and the fact they've let Aaravos wreak havoc and have never stepped in to stop him) it's a far bet their long, illustrious lives have given them a decidedly warped morality, and that Aaravos is pretty indifferent to other people's immense suffering at this point, too

His mirror realm being its own sort of faerie realm that he can bring Viren in and out of

Aaravos having multiple names and monikers — the Fallen Star, the Midnight Star, one of the Great Ones — much the way the Fae folk have many — the Good Neighbours, the Fair Folk, the Kind Ones, the Wee Folk, the Others (citation).

This isn't as much of a thing but all the nature motifs surrounding Aaravos (Elarion as a flower, the nature-esque patterns on the box that held the Key and that match the key, the flower and vine emulations on his mirror).

[nimblermortal]

@drelmurn

Also, warning to neopagans: This one is not for you. I try to be polite and respectful about neopaganism and y'all do some cool stuff, but this is specifically complaining about things neopagans do. So if that's your jam, this is a good place to stop reading.

So the thing is, for assorted reasons we don't have any writing from actual Norse pagans. There's archaeological records and what you divine (ha) from those, but everyone serious is telling you that we cannot have any real idea of what these religious practices look like. There were groves; there were figurines of gods which had their own spaces; it seems likely that rich/powerful people were also priests; there were sacrifices of beasts and animals, and some really freaking creepy funeral rites.

(Part of the volcano rant is about how prior to the volcanic eruptions there is sun symbolism in the archaeological record, and afterward, none. Probably related to the whole "ash blocking out the sun in the Arctic Circle for three years straight, leading to the deaths of 40-60% of the population" thing. So we have that sort of record too.)

And I'm also going to preface with how when I took a bellydancing class the instructor was careful to tell us that she learned from someone who learned from someone from the regions this was practiced, so we were at best three removes from the culture. When we're talking about Norse paganism, we are a thousand years removed from the culture. Put a generation at 20 years, that is 50 generations. If we want to be super generous and assume that every other generation some grandparent taught their grandchild the secret rituals they remembered, we are still 25 removes from a living culture.

Nothing has actually survived.

But, you say, what about the Eddas? Those were written down in the medieval period. Those are contemporary.

Nope! Those were written by Snorri Sturluson (1179-1241). He's an Icelander. Iceland was officially Christianized in the year 1000, it's very easy to remember. Snorri was born 179 years after Christianity got enough of a grip to be enshrouded in law. I've been reading the Grágás (early law book, ~1260) and it has an initial section specifically on Christianity, with the punishments for things like men not knowing the words to baptize a child, much less daring to fast incorrectly. These people were not pagan. Snorri was writing down what he could guess from very old stories, and he begins by saying the gods were Asians from Troy.

There's just a period in medieval Europe when paganism was considered cool, and so everybody wanted their own pagans, and they tried to resurrect the concepts and everybody kind of suspiciously came up with the same general kind of paganism, which is an artifact both of like. How monotheists think about polytheism, and of wanting to keep the cool elements from what they heard from their friend in France or wherever. It's like how everybody knows that vampires can't be seen in mirrors.

So that brings us to my archnemesis Stephen Flowers, who would really prefer I called him Edred Thorsson.

Mr. Flowers originally decided to research runes "after I audibly 'heard' the sound 'RUNA' on a summer day in 1974." Two years later, in 1976, he completed his handbook of rune magic, which he assures you remains largely unchanged in this its third edition, because he uh spiritually inherited everything there was to know about runes in two years. He believes the Norse pagan "ancestors never died but rather were reborn, generation after generation, always keeping their secrets with them - until now, they are us" because who doesn't love some Hindi wheel of reincarnation in their Norse paganism.

So this sort of reincarnation/divine inspiration is one way he gives himself legitimacy. The next is by judicious use of Nazis, because Norse stuff has always had a problem with Nazism. Mr. Flowers, rather than disavowing Nazism in his introduction, goes with "Indeed, the Nazis made use of the runic forms in their most external aspects, akin to what we might call 'branding' today. The beginning rune vitki* of today may take some strange comfort from the fact that the runes did continu to show themselves to be such potent symbols in the twentieth century!"

He will grant that "the Germanic spirit itself was not at the heart of this 'bureaucratic blasphemy,' but rather it was a sort of pseudo-Christian messianic Manicheanism that owned the soul of the Nazi party." Far removed from the true religion Flowers intends to invent! He, after all, intends to create "a system as free as possible from any Judeo-Christian influence" with the classic random flinging of the Judeo- prefix in to seem more, I don't know, cosmopolitan, without showing any sign of having done the slightest research on Judaism and whether it might apply to his construct religion.

*Flowers proposes vitki as a practitioner of runic magic, which he refers to as galdrar. I have been sufficiently wrong often enough not to argue with him on this point; I will say only that there are many words for magic, and for all I know galdr (nominative singular) does refer to runic magic. I have not seen the word vitki elsewhere as yet.

I am probably getting overly het up about Stephen Flowers; I am prone to doing so. He concludes his introduction as follows:

Too long has the Westerner suffered "bearing the cross of alien fruits." They have had their chance and have failed time and again in their impotent effort to satisfy the depths of the IndoEuropean soil. Their aeon has come to an end; the time is ripe for a reemergence of the wisdom of the Eriloz (the vitki). The breakthrough of holy power must take place within the soul of each individual - and it is in this hope that this work has been wrought.

Which just. Having established the word vitki we're now going to add another cool foreign word for the same thing?? Westerners have suffered bearing the cross of Christianity?? It has failed to satisfy the depths of the IndoEuropean - look, it's just a list of white supremacist dogwhistles, okay. And I could be wrong about that, because I don't know white supremacist dogwhistles, but it sure reads like that to me!

I have a friend who is a neo-pagan and is studying Egyptian magic. Apparently the Egyptian practitioners wrote their things down. Which is cool and great, they had a writing system and they were using it, I know nothing about that and have nothing to say about it. She also says a lot of pagan practices are invented wholecloth, which is true and great. It's the "we are reviving a practice that has simply lain dormant for a thousand years until we arrived to accept this unbroken tradition" that drives me wild.

Anyway the key concepts include: appealing to some sense of an ancient unbroken tradition, which should appeal to you specifically because you are special in [spiritual and/or racial trait], and you can reject [practice that many people have been hurt by] because your special nature was reaching out to this the whole time. Sprinkle in appropriate symbols. Use some cool foreign-sounding words. Throw a minority under the bus if at all possible.

[etirabys]

I've been experimenting with "identifying as stupid and lazy" and it's going pretty well. This month I went to a Javascript meetup with the explicit goal of being slightly stupid there, got into an AI conversation, said a few coherent things, and then mentioned I just didn't want to put in the work into understanding e.g. transformers. Also I said as a simplification that I'd flunked out of linear algebra in college which isn't true (I got an A in linalg but flunked out of the ML course where linalg was heavily in use) but felt. WEIRDLY. pleasurable to say.

When I talked about this on Discord, one of them brought up Stupidism, which is from a good post @mark-gently made. But there's something about my wanton dignity-discarding that goes several steps further from Stupidism and feels very liberating.

Last year I read a weird... pagan?... book, Existential Kink, that invites you to notice how much of your life is shaped to bring about outcomes you supposedly hate, and how you secretly take joy in those outcomes. This seems false for the majority of things one tries to avoid, but leaning into it sure is interesting to try out! And I'm finding it is surprisingly true for "coming off as stupid".

There's something absurdly joyful/thrilling about deciding to go to a meetup and presenting as a moron. Some years ago I would have gone NOOO at the thought, and now I feel like an adrenaline junkie being invited to a new type of gambling event or weird sex thing.

I fully expect to tire of "identifying/presenting as stupid and lazy", but when I move on from it I expect to be more integrated or whatever. Less afraid of being stupid and lazy because I've just gone and done it openly.

One of the stupid things I said at the Javascript meetup was that I hate using libraries in almost full generality. I'm too lazy to read docs or troubleshoot my calls to other people's code. Someone recced me a different meetup for people who roll their own tooling, but warned me it was all male, because he knew I'd found all-male programming contexts stressful in the past.

In college I tended to not even really notice if a lab or a team was all male, because I was a top-half student and just felt totally secure about being in class. But I became phobic of it in jobs because I'm usually the worst dev in any remotely selective workplace, and being the worst dev AND the only woman sucks. I was ashamed of being bad at my job, obviously, but I was mortified at being the entity that diversity posters and mandatory trainings point at to say "if you think women are like that you are a terrible person and causing problems in society". But... I am like that. I guess for society's good I need to hide this as hard as possible?

(I solved this by going to a much less selective workplace and almost explicitly saying "I will be kind of a bad programmer, but I come cheap". I am pretty happy now.)

So, given that I got twisted up by that employment record, current me is delighted at the thought of being openly dumb at an all-male CS meetup. This wouldn't be good for the men (some of whom Want To Unlearn Sexism, etc) nor for Women In Tech, but it would be good for ME. Time to abandon class consciousness and defect on women for my own gain.

It is, well, yeah, existentially kinky to imagine going to this meetup and cheerfully asking dumb questions & occasionally responding with "I don't think I'm ever going to understand that, sorry, you should stop explaining that because I don't want to waste your time".

[sourdoughservitor]

Yule: The Winter Solstice

⋆꙳ •❅*‧ ‧*❆ ₊⋆꙳ •❅*‧ ‧*❆ ₊⋆꙳ •❅*‧ ‧*❆ ₊⋆꙳ •❅*‧ ‧*❆

Merry meet and welcome to the first pagan holiday of the Wheel of the Year, and the first installment of my Year of the Wheel series! I will practice witchcraft every day this year, and this blog will serve to document my works as well as share them for others' benefit.

Yule

Yule falls on December 21, 2023, where I live. It is the Winter Solstice here in the Northern Hemisphere; it marks the shortest day of the year, the day with the most darkness, but of course this also means the following days begin to get longer. Thus, Yule is celebrated as the beginning and end of the Wheel of the Year: it is the signpost by which we track our years.

Yule is an excellent time to celebrate the past and the future. Practitioners will often use this day to focus on cleansing; to re-affirm bonds, vows, pacts, and wards; to set goals, affirmations, and aspirations; as well as to reflect on the past year and what they've learned and experienced, and how they've grown.

During this time, I like to cleanse the negativity of the past year, embrace the positivity, and prepare for the upcoming one.

Yule Witchcraft

I will be doing a variety of works to celebrate Yule. Unfortunately I have nobody to share Yule with in my personal life, so there will be no feast in my home. Instead, I am conducting the following workings to prepare myself for the year ahead:

A Year Ahead spread. The simplest very first thing I like to do to celebrate Yule and the coming year is a Year Ahead spread. As simple as it sounds, you draw one card (tarot, oracle, your choice--I draw tarot) for each month. The image below shows last year's spread, with January at the top and the other months following deosil (clockwise). This year, I'm following full moons instead--I'll make a post hopefully soon into the new year about those too!

Creating my grimoire. This one is a little extra, I'll admit. But I just wasn't satisfied with any of the notebooks or journals I could buy, at least not for under $40. So I decided to learn bookbinding and make one. I already have many notes in a digital grimoire for redundancy, portability, and searchability, but I find paper infinitely superior when doing spellwork or rituals. I'll gradually fill it out as I go, and maybe post the finished book / some spreads later.

Creating a tulpa and enchanting a ring. I'll probably (read: definitely. I mean look at my URL) do a post on thought forms in the future but for now Google it if you're unfamiliar. I learned something about myself in therapy recently--about a part of myself that manifests as self-hatred, but truly comes from a place of compassion. I will bind it to a ring I wear daily in order to work with it to serve me instead of hinder me.

Observe the 12 Days of Omen. Just a good tradition to observe following Yule. See tomorrow's post for details!

Cleansing my altar, my space, and myself, as well as re-confirming my wards.

Journalling. About the past year, the next, about my craft and myself. As part of this I may do some trancework and meditation, depending on my mood and time; I would also like to test out the oneiromancy oil and tincture I made (post forthcoming?? oof so many I have planned!).

If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to leave a note. My asks are always open, too. Blessed be 🐻💚

see my Year of the Wheel masterpost for more!

[humongoustreemoon]

*Some* people in Frozen fandom are so offended and butt-sore at the mere mention of vikings and norse mythology, it should be studied.

The screenshot you see above is answer to my harmless theory post that was aimed at no one.

And now it's time to adress the elephant in the room:

There is not even the slightest hint that Northuldras will appear in next movies.

Yelana, Ryder and Honeymaren have no role in the books, comics or even in the podcast. If Disney wanted to flesh out Northuldra characters, they had more than enough opportunities to do that. Yet they didn't. I don't know why, but that's the current state of things. I'm not saying Northuldras won't appear in Frozen 3 at all, but as of now, there's nothing to indicate that they (or their mythology) will appear. If you don't like it, take your complains to Disney, not to me. Don't shoot the messenger.

There's a lot of fanon theories and headcanons surrounding Frozen 2. Unfortunately, some people take them as indisputable canon. There's even a self-proclaimed fandom police who attack others for the crime of not sharing their headcanons, and for disrupting their little echo chamber.

Let's dispel some of these fanon myths, shall we?

Drafts and deleted scenes are meaningless. They were changed or deleted for a reason. Using them to support any theses is absurd Runeard was in a block of ice therefore these men in helmets from concept art are villains??? what am I even reading Besides, let's take a look at the horned head pieces from both concept arts

Totally similar, right? No, not really 😂

2. Only movies are canon. Books are just bonus material and nothing more. Ahtohallan is not the mother of spirits, Northuldras didn't claim "her" as their own, Northuldra members weren't previous fifh spirits, yarl Aren doesn't exist. This is what mrs. Lee has to say about this

"don't hold us to anything except what we put in those features" This is where the discussion ends. Books lore will be not be included in Frozen3/Frozen4. Attacking me and throwing hissy fits won't change that.

P.S. No one ever said Ahtohallan is Asgard. It's a straw man argument. And The Sky Castle is its own thing, certainly not Ahtohallan from the past.

I won't even comment that remark about n**s and their favorite toys. I'm struck dumb. This person knows nothing about Norse mythology and it shows. And Norsemen didn't have priests; they had shamans. It was a pagan religion. They were called  Seiðr.

[thevixenwitch]

Having some thoughts on paganism and loss of identity this holiday season.

It felt so easy to study paganism back when I was younger, and while I wouldn't ever call myself a Wiccan these days, I did always appreciate the concept of a year and day of study. I feel like I have to start from scratch after being separated from my community and not feeling inspired for a year or two now really... it gets overwhelming to sort through what's problematic, what's realistic, what's a misrepresentation. At every corner I see Llewellyn books that I know are more likely to contain appropriation than not, and sometimes it feels like that's all there is.

Add in being ND and finding it extremely difficult to focus when there's SO much information out there. I want to find my family's roots, but don't know enough to search for family trees, and am not super excited to sell access to my DNA. I've always been told we were Scottish, but it feels bad to research too deeply into any tradition without knowing our actual connection.

I know what I am, and I'm trying to start by reconnecting to those roots. But also what I am was banned from the family Christmas for years and very traumatized from the treatment as a non-Christian for many years. I find myself deeply missing my community in Texas, who are more family than many I've had even if I have been too traumatized to be able to express that. I don't know what family should or does look like... I don't know what a holiday should look like, either.

I think of family holidays as a teen and I think of my mom telling me I wasn't welcome, being told I was going to burn in hell, who even knows why at that point. Too queer, too mentally ill, too weird, too bad for reputations, too many questions.

I find myself looking forward to things I cant do anymore; community Sabbats at my previous local UU, PNO, Spirit Haven... things just aren't the same here. It's hard to find purchase on unstable ground... churches on every street corner never change, but the pagan community here is different and we just haven't found our place yet. There's a public Norse Altar in the works, but they've been vandalized and stolen from in the process... I'm so wary of anyone calling themselves Wiccan with all the appropriation and casual racism I've witnessed over the years, and it's hard to know who's put in the work to be aware and deconstruct.

I'd love if anyone could make reading suggestions for renewed study. I am open to Celtic, learning about anything Scottish, Norse, and Greek, as well as modern American-influenced traditions and how they've evolved!

[theic-manic]

Hello! I'm a hellenic pagan (not reconstructionist) that works with Hades, Nyx, and Hermes.

I've been wanting to add Prometheus to my practice, as he seems to only want the best for mankind since, if i recall correctly, he helped MAKE mankind.

If I work with him, would that be offensive to the other gods I work with? Would I ever be able to work with Zeus? I get confused at the ins and outs. I've been practicing less than a year I think.

Also, I've only read of Prometheus in my copy of the Theogony & Works and Days. Is there any other canon literature that features him?

Hey there.

Sorry for the delay, spam asks clogged up my inbox.

Tldr: it's hard to offend a god as a worshipper or someone who works with the gods, as opposed to a devotee or clergy.

I would suggest not working with more than one or two deities at a time, especially when you're starting out.

The deities you work with at a time may change, sure, but I've personally found it most effective to work with a couple at most simultaneously, so I'm

1. Not pushing myself too much

2. not diluting my worship since I only have so many hours in the day.

Now with this, although it's hard for non-clergy and non-devotees to "offend" deities (it requires a deep and personal relationship and even then you need to work spectacularly hard to piss off a GOD unless said god has history of having a bit of a hair trigger personality which is why we must READ THE MYTHS/STORIES of deity interactions with humanity) I would also recommend not mixing deity types on shrines.

E.g. Ouranic and Cthonic deities have different offering and worship practices, this is your cue to read how the deities were worshipped collectively and privately (in homes) and work with the gods accordingly.

You can certainly worship both but it's best (and easier) to have separate altars and/or shrines.

One polytheist compared not researching the gods and their practices to not knowing if your friends have dietary requirements.

Imagine offering your close friend a nicely cooked steak dinner only to have them point out that they're vegetarian?

I'd feel awful, and now I have a steak dinner that I have spent time and effort on potentially going to waste.

As for canonical works, I prefer that people try to fine tune their research skills themselves rather than relying on others who aren't clergy or elders to hand-hold since I have come across many insights via rabbithole that wouldn't have been obtained had someone just given me a reading list.

Ultimately, as a worshipper, the worst you'll do (from my UPG experience and from reading the experiences of others) is cause a god to go off and no longer work with you since that you're clearly not a good fit.

Which isn't a bad thing by the way, this often happens during times of great spiritual growth but can also happen when we simply don't respect a deity enough to do the bare minimum to maintain Kharis and/or honour their preferences.

Which brings my question to the bulk of baby polytheists on tumblr:

What does "offending" or upsetting a pagan deity even mean to you all?

/ gen

Like, what consequences (for lack of a better term) are you actually expecting from somehow being important enough to affect a deity in such a way?

Because from what I noticed, those who are capable of having such an impact, devotees and clergy, have done enough research and study to not easily do that.*

*Unless you're like me and just have had certain deities not quite understand the concept of boundaries, of which I have posted extensively about, then absolutely pull the plug on that devotional relationship if you can't come to an amicable compromise.

But as with everything on the internet, this is just my take and I invite anyone reading this to go and read, read and read some more.

Read widely (books and articles), watch documentaries (YouTube is a starting point) and work on your Polytheistic practice without needing external validation from internet strangers.

Certainly, engage in discourse and even some debate, but ultimately, your practice is between you, your higher self, and the divine.