#I read something funny today that I seriously thought was a joke post

[mask131]

I have seen someone say, to accentuate the fact a certain book needed a basic knowledge of Greek mythology to fully understand all the references and jokes in there, "You better have read the Percy Jackson novels, else you will be lost".

You guessed it: it bothers me (every time I begin a post like that, you can expect me ranting about something)

I don't know if this was said as a jest or not. If it was said as a sort of joke or as a light-hearted comment, I fully get it and I have nothing to say, because of course that's a funny nod. However I fear this was said in all seriousness. And even if this person was not serious, I have seen a LOT of people treat mythology... out of fictional works. Especially the Riordan novels (a similar thing is happening with Norse mythology where people start using God of War as a reliable source but that's a discourse for another day).

I get how popular and beloved the Percy Jackson novels are. I myself am a big fan of them. It was my butter and jam in middle-school. I never was a Harry Potter fan, but I WAS a Percy Jackson fan. So I get it, I get how it can be... But it doesn't mean these novels should be treated as a source of reliable and certain info on Greek mythology. People seem to forget that these novels are rewriting, reinventions and adaptations of Greek mythology. Back in the days, nobody would have went around claiming Saint Seiya or Ulysses 31 were reliable sources about Greek mythology, and yet today people treat stuff like Blood of Zeus or Wonder Woman Historia as almost primary sources when it comes to handling the Greek gods...

I guess it is due to a change of generations, and a change of point of view as time goes on. Today Greek mythology is treated, handled and accepted more as a source of narrative material, as a host of characters, as a compilation of folktales, rather than an actual culture, or a literary corpus, or a set of beliefs and rites linked to a religion. Probably because people are getting more and more used to Greek mythology being used for entertainment and narrative purpose - Disney's Hercules, God of War, Class of Titans... People don't have their primary contact with the Greek myths through classrooms and school lessons, they have it through movies and animated series and novels. And so for them, Greek mythology becomes "fiction" before "study".

Before, to make the point that you needed to know the basics of Greek mythology, someone would have said "You need to have read at least a Greek mythology encyclopedia". There's a SHIT TON of these around. Today it's just "You need to at least have read a Percy Jackson novel". I mean, again, if it is for humoristic purpose or for a light-hearted comment, okay, it's funny - but if it is serious, than it is as stupid as to say "You need to know about witches and witchcraft... so you need to at least have read the Harry Potter novels".

Again, I don't want to spit on the Percy Jackson novels. I adored them, I still love them, and I think it is great and amazing how it boosted and popularized Greek mythology and made it such a casual topic. But I always thought the series was much more enjoyable when you knew already a bit about Greek mythology BEFORE reading the books, instead of learning things from it. The reason I fell in love with these novels was because I was a HUGE Greek mythology fan as a child and unfortunately as a result the range of media exploring my interests was limited (Mission Odyssey, the classic italian Odyssey movie, The God Beneath the Sea). Until the Percy Jackson came along and I had a blast seeing how they reinterpreted, reinvented and reused things I was already familiar with. That was the fun of it, see their interpretation of mythology.

Because I am sorry, but if you try to learn Greek mythology with the Percy Jackson novels, you will learn a LOT of misinformation. You will learn that Athena can have kids, that Poseidon is one of the coolest Olympians, that Demeter basically has no role whatsoever in anything, that Venus and Aphrodite are one and the same, that the demigods all inherit the powers of their parents like super-heroes... In fact we do see today a lot of the effects the popularity of the Riordan books had (like the overblown and excessive villainization of Zeus). But that's something endless and eternal: as I pointed out, after the OvertlySarcasticProductions video about Dionysos with them having horns as part of his design, EVERYBODY on Tumblr and the friggin' Internet started putting horns on Dionysos. It wasn't just something that spread slowly, it was a real boom and fashion.

I was NOT expecting this rant to go that far, as usual I got carried away X) But here's kind-of my point: people originally brought forward the idea that "There is no "real" canon to Greek mythology because there's tons of conflicting versions and alternate tales" to defend the idea that fictional takes and adaptations could deviate from the dominating versions. It was nice and a needed reminder. Except... people of course used it wrongly and started use it to A) just allow themselves to do anything and everything while B) not bothering to do any research by pointing out how since there's no "canon" and not a set of defined clear-cut legends, they don't have to justify their adaptation choices.

Yes, there is a lot of variations, alternate continuities, rivalizing characterizations and conflicting elements in Greek mythology, as in all and every mythologies, from Norse to Indian. It doesn't mean however that the modern fictional works about Greek mythology have as much importance as the actual original texts of ancient civilizations... I get that you love your Song of Achilles and your Epic the Musical, but it doesn't mean that I won't judge you if you never bothered doing any research about what Greek mythology was about outside of seeing other people adapt it. (And don't even get me started on the so-called "devotees" of the Greek gods who aren't even true neo-pagans and are just fad-following pseudo-poets who bring forward random ideas as facts and literaly have "headcanons" about gods as if they were OCs... Random personal take but I have never seen any dog-loving "devotee" of Hekate ever question or mention how THOUSANDS of dogs were killed in the name of their "patron")

I guess it is because how people have a hard time getting what a "mythology" is about... I mean a lot of people really don't know the difference between a "mythology" and a "religion", and yeah, in mythology the gods are as much figures of worship/centers of cult as they are literary characters and narrative archetypes, so it's this weird in-between... I don't know, this rant literaly leads to nowhere so I'll just stop here and leave you to your own thoughts :p

[beautifulphilosopherkisses]

tips for staying calm + grounded even in high stress situations

hi! since it is the new year and I’m sure many have introduced various goals/achievements they would like to accomplish, I wanted to make this post to share some helpful tips to remain calm even during these busy months/stressful days/tense situations.

my expertise?? ahahaha may or may not have been a chronic stresser since I was seven….

but I have tried these techniques and they worked for me, give them a try if you’d like. I’m no psychologist or therapist tho so take with that what you will!

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ deep breathing

‘but beautifulphilosopherkisses that is the most overrated tip ever..you have got to be joking..’

yeah I wish. seriously- it is popular for a reason. that is because deep breathing helps slow your heart rate and bring more oxygen to your brain, allowing you to calm down, think clearly, and react quickly. You can do this any way you like, and it’s discreet so you can do this anywhere/anytime without drawing attention to yourself (especially helpful if you’re panicking about something). I like box breathing:

I visualize a box, and:

Breathe in for six seconds, forming the first vertical ‘line’ of this imaginary square box.

hold for four seconds, forming the second horizontal line of this imaginary box.

breathe out for six seconds, forming the third vertical line.

hold for two seconds, creating the last horizontal line.

does that make sense? you’re basically breathing while imagining the formation of a box.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ life is unserious! aka- the Ferris bueller mindset.

Ferris beuller’s day off is one of my most favourite movies of all time. Please watch it! It basically reinstates one of the main things to remember in life: it is NOT serious!

okay…yes there are very serious and important circumstances/issues/and factors that are cause for major effect and concern. but in regards to the small events of everyday life, relax. someone gave you a dirty look? who cares. you spilt coffee all over your favourite sweater? oh well, you can wash it- plus it makes for a funny story to tell over dinner. you tripped in front of your situationship? said the wrong answer confidently in class? you accidentally uploaded a TikTok draft to your public account? take it easy. I’ve found that literally no person who matters cares/remembers embarrassing moments, and that you shouldn’t let a small trip up immediately convince you that the day ahead will manifest into something horrible. Mostly everything has some sort of solution, like a math problem. No solution often is a solution as well.

+ to follow up, have fun with it!! do things that invoke that childhood sense of wonder and passion, plan exciting events to look forward to, and laugh often and freely. you’re not on this Earth to drown beneath the burden of your thoughts, or to drag the weight of your troubles along each journey.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ focus on the senses

If you’re having difficulties grounding yourself, I’d try to focus on your senses- taste, touch, sight, smell, and hear.

list two things you can hear,

two things you can touch (describe how they feel, the texture, is it warm or cool to the touch?),

two things you can see (vividly- really focus on the minor details)

if you can taste anything, describe it. ( Or try to imagine what your favourite foods taste like.)

if you can smell anything, what is it? (what does it remind you of?)

Personally this helps me get out of my head and direct my attention elsewhere.

that’s all I have for today! I hope your week is filled with wonderful moments and delicious, sweet lattes and whatever else you enjoy. please let me know if there’s anything in particular you’d enjoy me writing about. thanks for reading.

[olderthannetfic]

i saw this post today where this person was talking abt fandom racism and was pointing out some real issues within my fandom and favorite ship that I too had noticed… but then kept bringing it back to the lack of one particular other ship they liked, when it's like, no that's not the problem, and that ship is unpopular because those characters have zero romantic or sexual chemistry and barely any scenes together. (it was really funny that someone had reblogged this to take their 'lack of seeing this one character in a sexual way in fic miiight be racist' complaint to be like 'i think you're right! we should have more fic about [a long list of different ships involving that character with people they have ACTUAL chemistry with].' it was really funny. ofc op totally missed the point they were making there.) anyway i just feel like way too many useful conversations about this stuff are ruined by people making it about shipping or other really subjective fandom preferences. i get that this is because something like 'number of fics X ship or character has on ao3' is an objective measure, and something like 'level of orientalism in how a lot of people are writing this desi character' is not, but i wish people would realize it tends to alienate more people that it converts. and ime, it's often the people who maybe would most benefit from hearing those criticisms (e.g. are writing unintentionally racist stuff in their works, and are someone who would want to know about that and how to do it differently) who tune it out the second you make it into insulting their shipping preferences.

i mean, there WAS some real racism in the star wars sequels fandom, including among the fanfic/shipping side. not just the shitty dudes harassing kelly marie tran. we saw the really bizarre 'predator' language people directed at john boyega just for making some joke posts on instagram about disliking reylo and its shippers. it was the very classic racist thing where people see something as automatically more threatening when a black man does it. ....but how many people had already tuned all that out because the people most outspoken about the racism in the fandom kept reducing it to 'if you ship reylo over finnrey, or kylux over finnpoe, you're a racist'? it's like a boy who cried wolf thing. if you've shown that you can't uncouple serious discussions and concerns from just being pissy that your otp is not more popular, people are going to see you as someone who can't be taken seriously and then ignore you when you do have a real complaint. it's like how i'm sure that some of stitch's essays are thoughtful and important, but i have no desire to read stuff by someone who is infamous for harassing people just for what they ship. i don't feel like i can take any of that person's judgments about fandoms i'm not in, for instance, seriously.

that's not to say fandom preferences in shipping can't ever be influenced by racism (or other 'isms') but is it ever really *that* specifically that is the problem, or the broader pattern it is part of? and i feel like 'maybe fandom is a little too focused on het and slash ships between two young skinny conventionally attractive white people' is a message more people are open to than 'your specific white M/M or F/M otp is racist'

anyway it reminds me of the stuff i've seen sometimes in academic fandom studies about how you can't really honestly study a fandom where you're deeply mired in its discourse - you need to focus your work on fandoms that you're familiar with but not in that way. and i think that maybe also applies to some of these discussions about fandom racism and misogyny. maybe you're just going to have better takes on something when you're not deeply invested in other unrelated arguments about it, like about which ship is the most popular. like i could not care less about star wars shipping and have zero take in reylo vs. finnrey, so that's why i feel like i could trust my perception that the way a small minority of reylos were posting about john boyega's instagram posts was racist. it didn't matter if he was genuinely being a jerk to them or about their ship. he obviously wasn't a 'predator' and it was pretty telling language for a group of largely white people to use about a black man making fun of their ship on a different social media site.

--

The laying pipe thing was blown so out of proportion, yes. Call it sexist, sure, but it wasn't fucking predatory.

[webanglikethat]

do you love me and why

yes yes and yes. I know this is probably a joke question but I’m gonna answer it seriously 🗣️ it’s loving your friends time 🗣️

I love you because since the first moment we’ve met, you’ve been sooo incredibly nice and welcoming to me. and I mean, you know me and my overthinking issues 😭 I was sooo anxious about joining the server and I was afraid of not fitting in and coming across as weird or quiet or whatever — and you just were always making me feel included. and you didn’t just make me feel included; you made me feel seen. you went out of your way to make sure I was comfortable and that I felt like I belonged, even when I was too shy to fully express myself. it’s not something everyone does, and it’s definitely not something I’ll ever take for granted. and I don’t think you even realize what you did. it was in the small things; in thinking of me when people talked about KFS, in mentioning my name when I wasn’t around, in asking “hey, has anyone seen JB today?”, in sending me funny memes and just checking up on me <3 it all means so much to me 🫶🏽

I love how we grew closer over time very naturally. you were definitely one of the people I wanted to be friends with so badly 😭 I still remember our first interaction !! it was me retweeting your post about starting a Mikael church and I just remember being like “okay okay so this is my plan, this is how we are gonna become friends” 😭 it sounds silly now, but I remember putting sooo much thought into how I could talk to you more. like you know when you see someone and just want to be their friend? that was me 😭 you just had this energy about you and I knew I wanted to get to know you (and you know me, I am so shy 😭). looking back, it’s funny how nervous I was, because you turned out to be even more incredible than I imagined. oh and I still remember that moment in the server when you casually said, “oh yeah, we are friends.” I don’t think you even realized how much that meant to me at the time and I was just sitting there like, “!!! We ARE friends!” 😭😭😭 I was so ridiculously happy in that moment <3

vee you just are such an incredible friend. I love talking to you and our easy banter and how I can always count on you. you’re also an amazing writer and I can’t wait for you to write more and to be able to read that !!! you’re so thoughtful and you’re so patient with me and my tendencies to disappear 💀 in my defense ! I get tired easily okay 😞 and you never make me feel guilty for that, which I appreciate SO much. and you always have my back too. you’re literally a ride or die 🥹🫶🏽 I love you so much for that

I hope 2025 is treating you kindly and if it's not, I might need to start a fight tbh. I want you to just now that I'm here for you. whether you need a shoulder to lean on, a listening ear to pour out your heart onto, or simply someone to sit in silence with, I'll be here !!! you're working extremely hard so don't forget to eat your meals and get enough rest okay? we love a smart queen 💅

no homo tho

unless

[carmenpeach]

this sonic comic you're doing seems batshit crazy, i love it!

YAAAAY THANK U SO MUCH!!!!! im so happy so many people like my little comic and makes ppl laugh <3 but i wanna say that also its not just a solo work, like im drawing all of it and interjecting a lot of my own jokes but the insane world crafted of it was done with my epic friends @sistemshock who thought up the idea in the first place, and @betagrove who made nvidia and @bowsersex2 and @quank and over the last few years we would just pop in and make little jokes building on each other and i felt it deserved to be drawn out as a tied together story ^-^ it started as just the 1st page of ch1 and was gonna leave it as just that but i kept adding to it and now its the longest story comic ive made lol

and it's also been a special story to me putting together a funny little world with my friends where some of the characters in it are schizophrenic (shadow and silver) like me and finding ways to be funny with it lighthearted and playing with that with eveyone. ive been working lightly on and off arranging ch5 (likely the last chapter) and seeing how many people have been coming over and reading it has made me so happy, feels like a birthday present to me since it happens to be my birthday and lots of people found my comic today and it's made me really happy seeing that something i made is making people laugh. its really motivated me to work harder and more seriously to get it done ^-^ im hoping to make the whole thing in color when its done too but i gotta like finish drawing it first lol but first im gonna hunt down any additional drawings ive made with stanley et all and post them ^-^

[self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2]

Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 06x19 Mommy Dearest

“We need to make AI take all of Dean’s face journey and have it write a story that can only be told by stringing those clips together. How many hours are there of Dean’s face? Something something Dean Derangement” “I need to rub one out; too much Dean” 

we had to pause so Spouse could shave his face which is a normal and important thing to do at 9:51pm on a Friday night and not do what he actually said he was going to do

“Smoldering ass” “Fuck that bitch up” ““$3? It was $2.50 in college at the local brewery” “Did she just murder his ass? I don’t remember” “Almost like one of the horseman things” “LOAD ALL” reading the shell equipment

“That’s one hell of a dehydrated load” “Took you all week to make 5 shells?” “laughed at the Cas in his ass joke” “They said ass a lot”

Rewound to the Cas ass comment

“If he’s in his ass, what’s the bottle you need to rub to get the genie out?” I believe it’s called the prostate

“This vampire lady’s voice is similar to Meg’s voice” “Death by cop? But I guess Cas got her so it worked out” laughter “sure” “That was a weird transition” “Little zoom out effect wasn’t my thing” “worst nickname ever. Smitey McSmiterden?” laughter

“They’re making poop jokes” “He’s blocked like a blocked bowel” That was mean

“Yeah” “Had to go federal” “they could have made that joke so much better. It was funny but it could have been better. It was in the delivery” “Cas’s hair isn’t as on point today so maybe that’s why” “This is a weird episode” “Dick” “the fuck is going on?” “they’re lying to this guy about the ambulance” “oopsie” “Oh yeah, she touched everything” “nice” “Only the chosen ones survive?” “What a mess” “I wonder how much oxyclean Hollywood uses everyday” “Ant people” “Who hates Jefferson Starship that much?” “They’re not going to bother with the scene? Just leave a ton of bodies behind” “nice” “I like the reflection in the glass shot.” “Couldn’t use a one-syllable word? It’s like two syllables and two words. It doesn’t flow off the tongue very well” “Way to get locked into a cell so easy” laughter “blood splatter” “Cas is covered in blood. He can heal instantly but doesn’t care about his clothes?” He looks good covered in blood

“Seriously?” “this got real weird real quick” “it’s some imagery of them when they were younger. They had this momentum going then a brick wall” “This is a weird way to look at Castiel without hair. His hair is going to fall out and become bald” “This is weird as fuck” “That was dark” “That bitch gets what he wants” “He’s missing his head. Rigorous is one way of wording it” “since when are shotgun shells made out of brass?” “How many diners do they walk into in this show?” “I’d love to know how many unique diners they set up” “That’s not what the name tag says” “What’s wrong with dragons, Dean? Dragons are awesome” “Speaking of dragons, they don’t go back to medieval times” “Just a few huh?” “Oh yeah. I figured one of these kids were bad in the car” “Fuck that shit” “quick pan off to the family. oh no! Blood splatter. Yay!” “Oh yeah we’re supposed to fell bad because of the mirror or whatever”

Laughter

“That was good. I didn’t see that coming” “This is very dramatic. They did that all in post though. They kept just zooming in” “It was all digital zoom and bullshit” “Thanks, bro” “Not going to thank him?” “Man, you’re a fkn angel of the lord thing and you let these two little dudes boss you around?” “Hello Crowley”

“Oh not yet. I thought he’d be right there” “Come on. Zoom out a little bit.” “Come back. I need to stare at your throat some more” “The face” “Ohshit” “What’s he going to do? Doctorize all these people?” “He just needs the briefcase and stethoscope” “oh mommy” “Shit”

[fentrashcat]

Instinct or tic? My least favorite game.

This won't be a fun post, so I plan to follow it with a positive one. I don't like posting only negatives, but living with a neurological disorder is going to have negatives.

⚠️TW- Mental health, talking about fender bender and unsafe driving, some strong language

A reminder- everyone with tic disorders will have a different experience, I can only speak to mine.

There's been a lot building up this week, and today was a breaking point. I had a tic attack that resulted in a migraine, nausea, quite a bit o neck/back pain, and concerns about if something was a tic or not.

All because some asshole thought he'd be funny and swerve towards the parked car I was in.

I have SEVERE anxiety about cars and driving already, to the point that a simple fender bender (no injuries, minimal damage thankfully) almost had me in an ambulance bc I couldn't stop ticcing and the responding officer was concerned.

I was waiting for someone in the store, parked on the left side of the lane (important bc I'm in the US, so he should've been on the right side). He swerved directly towards the car I was in, coming within a foot of the hood, and just laughing like it was the best joke ever told.

That got me started ticcing when his piece of shit car squealed sway like a pig caught by the tail. My tics got worse, and I cussed at him. I yelled out "fucking asshole". Now that's not unusual, I cuss a lot and especially cuss unsafe drivers, but normally when my tics are that severe I can't think to put together 2+2. So now I get to play the gods awful game of "instinct or new tic".

Normally I can immediately say instinct but bc my tics were so severe and non stop, I had a constant "prompt" feeling. And I got a mildly different prompt before I said it.

My current hope is that it was instinct, but it was a very similar feeling to my Rando prompt. My Rando tics have not made me cuss that I can remember, even with the song lyrics.

All I can do now is wait and see, and hope I never see that asshole and his shitty car again.

I feel like it shouldn't need to be said but cars are dangerous and shit like what that guy did is just reckless and stupid. My issues aside, if he hadn't turned in time (like the busted front of his car suggested has happened before), he could have seriously hurt me, himself, or the people in the car with him.

I hope this made sense to read as I have not slept since the tic attack, which is normally the very first thing I do after them, but being tired means my anxiety is supressable enough to actually post this 😅. Also I tried to keep my language about this guy toned down, but I can't do much better than I have here.

Thanks for reading, and please drive safely. Happy post about a good person to counter this bs coming as soon as I can type it.

[lost-in-wond3rland]

Being on tumblr really just feels like being adrift in the middle of the ocean

It really does feel like no one else is on this hell site which is kind of great because I never feel bad about shit posting lol I don't think I've done anything BUT shit post about my current hyper fixations in YEARS lol (case and point, me re-blogging a bunch of red white and royal blue posts the other day because I finished reading the book and would like the movie now please-)

I forgot I used to write on here sometimes, or that I even could. Was it ever anything substantial? Nah. Just musings of a usually v depressed and out of wack teenager.

I am now a slightly less depressed out of wack adult lmao

All this to say, read at your own whim or risk or whatever. It's the internet dude, do what you want.

I'm starting grad school in a little over a month, and I know people talk about how daunting that is all the time. But what I haven't really seen is people talking about going into a program that has n o t h i n g to do with your BA. I'm essentially doing a bit of a 180 with my studies, and where everyone else has loads of experience, and knowledge, and is just so stupid fucking smart, I...

Well, that's just it, isn't it? The trail off. The ... .

Not to say (among other things) that I'm not "smart" per-say. I'm not dumb, I know that. But these people? Mannnnn, you guys should hear and see some of these people. It is nothing short of terrifying.

I've been feeling very Elle Woods in her "coming here was a mistake" era lately. But when I try to explain that, it's usually the same "don't get intimated!" "you're all just starting!" "you're going to be fine!" etceteras etceteras. Not necessarily untrue, but not necessarily true either.

I'm going into a program where I am leaps and bounds behind literally everyone. People older than me, people younger than me, doesn't matter. And it feels like as hard as I work, I'm always missing something. Always 10, 15, 20, 100 steps behind everyone else. We just had a month of an online intensive orientation where we were interacting, and talking on discussion boards, and doing homework... And somehow, I still cant get everything fully right. Down to choosing the wrong kind of photo to go on my fucking introduction slide. Like come on! Seriously!? I can't even get that right? It's...

Yeah. It's.

So here I am, sitting on my bed, with my smart lights set to purple, in a too big Spider-Man cardigan, with a Taylor Swift lofi playlist going on youtube, contemplating yet again how the fuck I got here.

I made the joke to my mom that I was just the diversity pick. She didn't find that nearly as funny as I did. I digress.

We're... working on it. Kind of, at least. Pretending to, more accurately.

I just feel... like I'm in a constant state of having to prove myself, because nothing is ever enough. Nothing has ever been enough. I have worked so hard to the point where I have been on the brink of passing out before and even that still was not fucking enough.

Enough for who? For me? For my parents? For the metaphorical "them"? For anyone? I don't know. All of the above?

For that, I have no concrete answer and yet piles and piles and piles of evidence showing that nothing has in fact ever been enough.

I'm complaining too much, aren't I? I know it's not. World ending. There are bigger things. "People are dying Kim!" I know (also no, my name is not Kim, please understand the reference I'm begging lol).

Just some casual almost 9pm thoughts I guess.

I have work tomorrow, had the day off today. I started a new job and of course that happened at the same time as the online intensive so maybe that exasperated all these feelings since I really have had not a goddamn clue as to what has been happening for almost a month now but. I digress. But the job is going pretty okay. Slowly, I've been able to start to figure that out. And I somehow made it to the Eras Tour this weekend which was mind meltingly amazing. So I shouldn't complain. I really don't have anything to complain about at all.

And yet.

And yet.

And yet.

Well, I'm gonna fuck off and read some fanfic now. If for whatever reason someone tortured themselves and made it to the end, whats your fic poison of choice lately? I've been reading loads of Irondad & Spiderson fics. Give me Peter "I take care of everyone but don't know how to take care of myself because I think I'm fine" Parker and Tony "100% has a heart and just wants his idiot pseudo son to realize it's okay for people to help you" Stark all day.

...does that reveal too much? Eh. It's fine, I'm fine.

-Seven

07.24.2023

[jackoshadows]

I read something rather hilarious today and it made me realize that the fundamental issue for a lot of A Song of Ice and Fire fans is that they are not sure what they want Sansa to be. 

Sansa stans proclaim her as being the most intelligent character in the series but then get angry when readers criticize her actions because she is just a naïve, innocent little girl who does not know any better. Any criticism of Sansa in the first book is mainly because Arya and Jon are biased against her due to jealousy and is not in anyway indicative of who Sansa really is. She has no flaws and is perfect as is at the start but also she is a great character because she has tremendous character growth over 5 books and learns and changes so much.

I recall an Arya post I made once about Arya’s traditionally feminine characteristics and mentioned a book canon fact that Arya was better than Sansa at managing a household. This immediately got me a triggered Sansa stan in the comments who claimed that I – and Arya - was wrong about this and that Sansa was the expert in household management since that was her forte. Despite me and several others pointing out that Arya’s extroverted nature and friendliness with the Winterfell working staff meant that she could manage them better, we were accused of ‘demonizing’ Sansa for implying that Sansa did not enjoy interacting with the smallfolk.

This is how the Sansa stan metas about how Arya would have never survived KL came about – from a need for Sansa to excel in an area where Arya could not. So despite Arya having survived Harrenhal by keeping silent and enduring abuse and despite Sansa impulsively trying to push Joffrey off a bridge (only prevented by the Hound), we were constantly told that Arya would have been killed off in KL while Sansa survived using her wits and ladylike demeanor. This school of thought was so widespread that it actually made it’s way into the TV show – a prime example of how Sophie Turner and D&D were basing Sansa off Sansa stan metas on the internet instead of the actual books that GRRM wrote.

Let’s take the most prominent example of this clash of viewpoints regarding Sansa – her being the smartest character in the books. Something that the TV show audience was hit over the head with using a huge hammer and we got basically any character introduced on the show literally looking at the camera and telling us – ‘Sansa is the smartest’

Right at the start of book one Robb, Jon and Arya view Joffrey as a vain, pretentious ‘little shit’ from observing his behavior. Sansa is the lone exception who thinks highly of him. Even after watching Joffrey sadistically mutilate Mycah and attempt to injure/kill Arya, Sansa sides with him over her family. We are told by Sansa stans that a) she is just a naïve, innocent girl and b) she is cleverly siding with her future in laws and also trying to protect Arya from her stupidity of sticking up for a low class butcher’s boy.

Sansa tattling all of Ned’s plans to Cersei is also blamed on Ned rather than the person who actively made the decision to betray her father just so she could marry Joffrey and become queen. Let’s see what Sansa knows at this point -  Cersei Lannister ordered that Sansa’s pet direwolf Lady be put to death for something that she played no part in. Jaime Lannister has killed Stark men and run off. Ned tells her the following:

Father’s mouth twitched strangely. “Sansa, I’m not sending you away for fighting, though the gods know I’m sick of you two squabbling. I want you back in Winterfell for your own safety. Three of my men were cut down like dogs not a league from where we sit, and what does Robert do? He goes hunting.”

 “Sweet one,” her father said gently, “listen to me. When you’re old enough, I will make you a match with a high lord who’s worthy of you, someone brave and gentle and strong. This match with Joffrey was a terrible mistake. That boy is no Prince Aemon, you must believe me.”

 To the girls he said, “I am looking for a fast trading galley to take you home. These days, the sea is safer than the kingsroad. You will sail as soon as I can find a proper ship, with Septa Mordane and a complement of guards... and yes, with Syrio Forel, if he agrees to enter my service. But say nothing of this. It’s better if no one knows of our plans. We’ll talk again tomorrow.”

Ned let’s Sansa know that it’s dangerous in KL for both girls, that he was sending them home for their safety and to not let anyone know about their plans. What more should Ned explain to his 11 year old daughter to get her to comply? Should he explain to her the complicated politics of KL before she deigns to obey him? Should she have the basic intelligence to acknowledge that her older, wiser father knows better than her about these things and follow his orders? Or should she go tattle to Cersei despite knowing what the Lannisters have already done against her family?

Oh, but Sansa is just a naïve, innocent little girl. But Sansa is also so intelligent.

When Ned loses his head at the end of book one, Sansa finally realizes that the Lannisters are not the good guys – something that the rest of her siblings figured out in like the second chapter of the books. And Sansa stans are like – wow, Sansa is so smart now! She’s like the smartest Stark. Sansa then proceeds to trust the Tyrells  - because they are good looking and charming and charismatic - while they play her to get power over the Lannisters. But she’s so smart! Sansa then trusts Dontos who is LF’s tool. But she’s so smart! Dany and Jon are so stupid as leaders – look at all their mistakes. But Sansa ­- she thought that one time about how she was going to make the people love her when she becomes queen – surely the best ruler/queen in the books!!

But this is all in the previous 3 books. Let’s look at the most recent Sansa in the Vale. Any growth? Which brings me to the hilarious post I read today and Sansa’s conversation with Maester Coleman.

Maester Coleman clearly tells Sansa that these high doses of Sweetsleep is dangerous for SweetRobin in the long term . No ifs, buts or maybes about it. And it’s clear that Sansa knows this considering it’s right there in the text – “Maester Coleman cares only for the boy though. Father and I have larger concerns” . While Coleman is talking to her about his worry for SR’s health, Sansa is pondering over how much she likes to dance and whether she should give it a try as Alayne. And when Coleman, once again hesitates at the end, Sansa basically threatens him with LF –  take it up with the scary boss man. Nowhere in the text does she herself evince any concern for SR’s health or express doubts about the effects of sweetsleep on SR.

But we are once again informed by asoiaf experts/Sansa stans that Sansa is just a naïve, innocent 13 year old and like they did with Ned, blame Maester Coleman for not explaining it to her in more detail. Sansa does not have google or Wikipedia you guys! – how can she know that Maester Coleman is right? It’s not like his qualifications as Maester is relevant or anything.

I mean, Jon Snow at the wall – the character who is often mocked for being stupid and knowing nothing in contrast to smart Sansa by tumblr – should not have taken any of Maester Aemon’s advice without looking up what ‘kill the boy and let the man be born’ on Wikipedia and only then follow that advice. It’s not like Maesters have trained and learned about these things at the Citadel or anything.

So we are back to excusing Sansa’s actions because she is the innocent, naïve, little 13 year old who is not aware of sweetsleep being dangerous for SweetRobin and it is all the Maester’s fault because he did not explain it to her properly and Sansa should not just take a physician’s word at face value without checking up on it with Wikipedia first and that’s not available to her.

Oh, but also Sansa is super smart now. Smartest Stark, best ruler, most compassionate and maternal etc.

This is basically the dichotomy that we are going to continue to see from Sansa stans as Sansa starts to become more LF like in the books – she is after all currently learning from him, following his orders and thinking that he knows best about all things – even where SweetRobin is concerned.

And Sansa fans want her to be the expert player of the games – from pawn to player – is how they see her endgame. But the expert players of the game – Littlefinger, Varys – are not good people. They betray, backstab, employ treachery, destroy families. If Sansa wants to join their ranks and play the game, then she is going to have to get her hands dirty and do some not so nice things.

And that is not going match up with the Sansa stan viewpoint that Sansa is essentially a very good person who only does bad things because older, wiser people don’t explain things properly enough to nice, innocent naïve little Sansa. It’s going to be fun seeing all the mental gymnastics they do as they try to justify Sansa’s actions as being both super smart and also because she is naïve and innocent. Sansa does not know, she does not have Wikipedia is already one of the most hilarious excuses I have read today. 

And this is why show Sansa was such a mess and there was such a huge dissonance between what we are told by the cast/crew about the character and what is shown on the screen. We are told that she is a compassionate, non-ambitious, non-power hungry character – and yet she is written as LF 2.0. We are told that she is the smartest ever while all the time she is written as being an utter moron deliberately sabotaging her brother when he is trying to save the North from an apocalyptic threat. We are told that she is a super politician/diplomat while she is written as a spoiled child brat needlessly antagonizing a much needed ally. We are told that she loves her family (Lone wolf dies etc.)  but she is written as betraying them for power.

Sansa fans – like D&D and Sophie Turner for ex. – have an image of her which is contradicted by the writing but they are unable to reconcile these halves and so we end up with nonsensical, garbage characters like show Sansa and hilarious justifications of her actions on the internet from her fans. 

[sluttywonwoo]

study buddies || k.mg x reader

Pairing: frat!mingyu x fem reader 

Summary: studying for midterms with the guy you’re hooking up with goes exactly how you’d expect

Warnings: swearing, light smut (18+)

Word Count: 1.6k

a/n: reworked this old blurb originally posted on my tom holland fic account ( @wazzupmrstark ) for my gf’s birthday :)) happy birthday @hotgirlmingyu

Masterlist

You woke up to banging on your apartment door. Groaning, you rolled over to check your phone and saw that it was six am. You pushed yourself up and out of bed and padded into the kitchen to answer the door. You were surprised the relentless knocking hadn’t woken up your roommate, but she was a pretty heavy sleeper.

You yanked the door open to see Mingyu with a handful of textbooks. You squinted at him in confusion, wondering if you were seeing things. Mingyu had never been to your place before, you didn’t even know he knew where you lived.

His appearance startled you a bit. His hair was messy where it was usually slicked back or styled and he was wearing gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt. You didn’t think you’d ever seen him in anything other than khakis and a douchey printed shirt.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, rubbing your eyes.

He frowned. “You said we should study for midterms together.”

You thought back to the last time you’d seen Mingyu. You couldn’t remember saying anything like that.

“Was I drunk?”

“Probably.”

“So why are you here?”

“To study. You agreed that we could help each other out.”

“Mingyu, I don’t even remember agreeing to that.”

“Well I’m already here,” he said and pushed past you into your apartment.

“Seriously? It’s Saturday.”

“Yeah, and midterms are next week.”

“Couldn’t you have waited until the sun was up?” you grumbled, mostly to yourself and shut the door behind him.

“We’ve got a lot of material to cover.”

You cursed under your breath as you watched him set up at your kitchen table, knowing you should probably study even though you desperately wanted to go back to bed.

You and Mingyu had met at a party at his fraternity and woke up the next morning tangled in the sheets of his bed. To say it was awkward would have been an understatement. You didn’t think you’d ever see him again, but to your horror, you saw him in your stats lecture on Monday and your mythology class on Thursday. This was a pretty big university. Why did the same asshole have to be in two of your classes?

As much as it annoyed you, you couldn’t stop thinking about Mingyu, and apparently, he was having a similar dilemma because every time you went out he seemed to be there, and every time you hooked up.

That was the extent of your relationship, though. You didn’t even speak to each other in class or at parties. The only time you talked was behind closed doors when one or both of you was naked. Even then you kept your guard up because you refused to let yourself fall for a frat boy with commitment issues who never wanted to be seen with the same girl twice. A boy who wouldn’t even talk to you in public.

But you couldn’t ignore the way your heart fluttered when he said your name as he was about to cum, or the way his lips felt against yours. He could be a total dick, but you’d also seen a softer side of him that he didn’t show many people. You forced yourself to forget about that side. It was easier that way.

“Okay, what are we starting with?” you asked with a sigh.

“We have the stats exam first, we should work on that.”

You made a face. Statistics was the harder out of the two for you. In fact, it was the hardest class you were taking this semester.

“I can’t believe I’m doing math before seven am.”

“You won’t be complaining when you ace the midterm,” he quipped, already working on a practice worksheet.

You watched him solve problems like he was checking items off a list. You knew he was good at statistics, but you didn’t know he was that good. Figures, a guy like him was good at pretty much everything. Everything except mythology apparently, because once you’d switched to that he was flustered and frustrated. You would quiz him on myths only for him to get every single question wrong.

“Mingyu, did you even read any of these?” you asked, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“Yes, y/n, I read every one. How do you think I passed all the reading quizzes?”

“Cheating?” it slipped out before you could stop it and Mingyu gave you a hard glare. You held up your hands defensively. “Just a joke.”

“I don’t think it was.” He licked his lips. “But for what it’s worth I read them all. I just can’t keep them straight.”

You sighed. You felt bad, but you were getting frustrated too. And not just because Mingyu wasn’t grasping the myths. This was the longest you’d ever spent together (at least while you were awake) and you hadn’t even had sex. He just smelled so nice and looked so cute when he was concentrating that you couldn’t help feeling a little impatient. You had been at it for hours, you thought you would’ve done it at least once by now. But Mingyu was more serious about studying than you thought. It was kind of admirable and kind of annoying.

“Okay well reread through the Egyptian myths and I’ll quiz you again.”

“Alright.”

He pulled out his reading packet and flipped to the section you took out your phone and scrolled through social media mindlessly as he read, but it quickly got boring. You wished Mingyu would take a break so he could rail you. He was still reading intently, but you figured a little distraction couldn’t hurt.

You started by taking your hair down from your bun and shaking it out so that it fell around your shoulders. You knew your shampoo drove Mingyu crazy and hoped it would have an effect on him today. He shifted his seat, but didn’t look up from the packet. Next, you leaned over and rested your head on his shoulder. You’d never done something so domestic like this with Mingyu, but it seemed to work because he cleared his throat and adjusted his sweatpants.

“You know you could be working on math.”

You shrugged. “We already did stats for hours today. I think I’ll jump off a bridge if I look at one more differential equation.”

He fell silent and tried focusing back onto the reading, but you moved your hand to his thigh and kept it there as you continued to through twitter, not even reading what was on your screen.

“Stop that,” Mingyu muttered, making you jump a little.

“Why?”

“Fuck, because you’re distracting me. You look too hot right now.”

“I’m wearing pajamas.”

“I really don’t care. You still look hot and I’m trying not to fuck you senseless right now.”

“Well what’s stopping you?” you asked lowly and nipped at his ear.

“Need to finish this,” he replied through gritted teeth.

“I can’t convince you to take a break?” You moved the hand on his leg up so that you were cupping him over his pants.

He shook his head. “After.”

You leaned over and kissed his neck, then his jaw, and felt him get hard under your hand. “If I have to stop what I’m doing you won’t be able to walk for the next week.”

“That sounds like more of a motivator than a deterrent,” you admitted. “I’ll suck you off,” you offered and hooked your thumb in the waistband of his sweats, trying to bribe him.

“If you let me finish I’ll eat you out,” he countered.

You straightened up. It sounded like a pretty good deal.

“Fine.”

A few minutes passed in silence and you were waiting patiently, typing up a rough draft of an essay you had due for another class when Mingyu groaned.

“What?” you asked, wondering if he needed help.

“Can you please stop that?”

“Stop what? I’m literally doing nothing.” You were genuinely confused now.

“Just- I don’t know you’re making it so hard to concentrate.”

“Am I making it hard?” You smirked.

“Very funny.”

“Would it help if I put a paper bag over my head?”

“Probably.”

“Come on, keep reading about Osiris.”

“I don’t want to read about Osiris anymore, he’s a dick.”

“The faster you finish the faster you can get off.”

“I thought you didn’t want to wait,” Mingyu pointed out, trying to deflect.

“I think I recall something about you going down on me if I let you finish reading.”

“Fine,” he grumbled, but didn’t turn back to the book. Instead, he continued to gaze at you with those big brown eyes. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

“What?” You felt your cheeks get warm.

“I just really want to kiss you right now.”

You smiled and raised your chin, challenging him. “Then do it.”

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours. You closed your eyes and kissed him back, savoring the moment.

When you pulled away, Mingyu’s eyes were dark with want and you could see that he was now fully hard in his sweatpants.

“How about I eat you out now anyway?” He suggested, leaning forward to kiss your neck.

You moaned and brought your hands to his hair.

“You trying to bribe me?”

“Is it working?”

“Fuck yeah.”

Mingyu stood and picked you up from your chair. You wrapped your legs around his waist again. He pulled on your bottom lip with his teeth and smirked.

“Promise you’ll finish studying after?” you asked.

He considered it. “Does what we’re about to do count as studying mythology? Because it’s going to be legendary.”

You scrunched up your face in distaste. “No, I take it back. Put me down.”

Mingyu grinned. “Hey! You know no ones gives it to you as good as I do.”

“That confident are you?”

His grin turned into a smirk. “Is that a challenge?”

lmk what you think i always appreciated feedback!!

forever tags: @haven-cove

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[golbrocklovely]

never needed // colby brock

A/N: so fun fact about this fic is that i came up with it last year back in november. it was around the time me and my ex best friend stopped being friends. i was really in such a rough headspace, and i think the concept shows it. i just finished writing it today and wow... i still feel this way to some extent, but not fully (thank god). also i literally cried while writing it today so there’s that. hope yall enjoy this one. i'm trying to post a bunch of fics since this coming week is my bday (the 14th). no guarantees, but i'm trying my best to put out at least six things. let me know what you think of this one. see yall later :)

prompt: colby has been ghosting you for a while, just when things were starting to get good between you two. after a week of ignoring you, he’s finally ready to talk. || fem!reader x colby brock

trigger warning: angst, cursing, heartache, crying, honestly this one is really sad so sorry about that, happy ending tho

word count: 2331

~~~~~~~

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I groaned to myself, staring at my phone.

Colby was still ignoring me, something I had grown accustomed to this week. He had ghosted my calls and my texts. He turned his read notifications off too, so I had no clue whether or not he had even seen my messages at all.

Everything had been going great between us. We had met a couple years back and hit it off as friends right away. I always thought he was attractive, and our friendship was always really flirty; so much so that fans thought we were together. And then finally, something clicked a couple months back. I wasn't sure if it was the accidental drunken kiss we shared, or just a built up of feelings, but we finally decided that maybe we should test out an actual relationship.

We promised each other we would take it slow, both of us still heartbroken from our previous relationships and our general trust issues. But these past two months, we went into overdrive, actually taking the time to feel each other out as boyfriend and girlfriend.

And for the first time, I felt happy. Genuinely happy.

A week ago, we had even gone on a cute little date, something we had started doing regularly. We were in the middle of our conversation; I remember I laughed hard at something he said. It was loud enough that some of the patrons in the restaurant stared at us. And when he tried to shush me jokingly, a silence had fallen over us.

His face dropped suddenly, he became super serious and quiet, and then he asked if we could go home.

He told me the next day that he thought he got food poisoning and it just hit him in the restaurant. I didn't think anything of it and was fine with going home early.

But now, I wonder if he was lying.

I looked back down at my phone, reading over my messages from the past week to him.

Was I taking this too far? He could have just been busy. I don't wanna come across as clingy.

"Ugh, fuck that." I muttered out loud to myself, rolling out of my bed to get a drink.

I didn't care if I came across as clingy. I had a right to know why he was ignoring me. If it was work related, he would have told me. He had done that in the past before.

This was different, I just knew it.

Tomorrow, I planned to go over and see him. I would have done it tonight, but I knew he wasn't home. He was out with some friends at Saddle Ranch. Like a fan, I had to watch his stories on Insta, since that was the only way I knew where he was.

"Don't expect too much from him." Sam said.

I shook my head at that memory. When we got together, everyone was happy for us. But I could feel a certain tension in the room, a certain caveat that wasn't being mentioned. Later that night, Sam and I were by ourselves, and he asked me if Colby and I had really made our relationship official. I told him we hadn't gone all the way, but that we were taking it one step at a time.

"I'm happy for you guys, really. I just wonder..." His voice trailed off.

I cocked my head. "Wonder what?"

"Look, I love you both, but I don't know if Colby is really ready for a relationship. There's a lot of things he still needs to work through." He stated.

"We're not that serious." I laughed.

"Yeah, yet. If you plan to be, I just don't want you to get your heart broken because he wasn't ready." Sam admitted.

I patted his shoulder lightly, smiling. "Relax, Samuel. Everything will be fine."

"Alright. Just... don't expect too much from him, okay?" He mentioned, his eyes narrowing on mine.

That had been two months ago and... I think I should have heeded his warning.

A loud knock at my front door brought me out of my thoughts, scaring me. I grabbed a knife from my kitchen, striding over to the door. I glance through the peephole to see who was there.

Colby's face stared back.

"Y/N, it's me. Can you open the door?" He called.

I scowled at him through the peephole. "Sorry she's not home right now. Maybe you should try responding to her texts.”

“Look I'm sorry, but that's why I came over. I wanted to talk in person.” He replied.

“Damn, that’s a shame. Too bad she’s not home!” I exclaimed angrily.

“C’mon now, don’t be childish.” He remarked.

I swung the door open, holding back from yelling into my hallway. “Childish?!”

He smirked at me. “I knew that would get you to open the door.”

“You’re not funny.” I deadpanned, glaring at him.

“Can you please let me in? I seriously want to talk.” Colby responded, his eyes landing on mine.

“No, Colby. It’s one o’clock in the morning, I don’t feel like talking, and you’re drunk.” I jeered, resting my hands on my hips.

He scrunched up his face dramatically. “No, I’m not. I only had like two drinks.”

“Oh my mistake. I figured a person that randomly comes over to talk at the ass-crack of night is usually drunk,” I quipped. “Don’t you have better things to do, like be at Saddle Ranch?”

He stepped back, raising an eyebrow. “How’d you know I was at Saddle Ranch?”

I could feel my cheeks heat up. “Because… I watched your stories.”

“Nice to know you pay attention to me,” he uttered under his breath. “Please let me in.”

“No. Fuck off, Colby.” I hissed.

He rolled his eyes at my comment. “If you don’t let me in, I’m just gonna make noise out here in the hallway until you do.”

“Bet.” I huffed.

“What was your favorite movie again… ‘10 Things I Hate About You’?” He questioned, stepping back further into the hallway.

I blinked. “Yeah, so what?”

He looked up at me, giving me a devilish smile. “…You’re just too good to be true.”

My face dropped at his voice. “Colby.”

“Can’t take my eyes off of you.” He sang, pointing at me.

“Are you really-” I started.

He cut me off, running his hands down his body. “You’d be like heaven to touch.”

I hushed. “Seriously stop-”

“I wanna hold you so much.” He closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around himself.

I grunted, smacking my hand towards him. “Colby, it’s one in the morn-”

“At long last, love has arrived.” He opened his arms wide.

“Shut the fuck up!” I whisper-shouted.

“And I thank God I'm alive.” Colby praised up towards the ceiling.

I retorted. “You’re fucking embarrass-”

He spun in a circle slowly. “You're just too good to be true.”

“I knew giving you the code to my apartment was a bad idea.” I grumbled.

“Can't take my eyes off of you.” He winked, pointing at me again.

Colby took a big inhale, ready to start singing the music, but I grabbed his arm and pulled him into my apartment.

I slammed my door shut, locking it quickly. “Next time you do something like that, I’m gonna kill you.”

“That’s not very- why do you have a knife?” He motioned toward the knife sitting on my side table.

“What-? Oh, I thought you were an intruder.” I explained.

He lightly smiled, his dimples appearing. “You think an intruder would knock?”

I snapped, annoyed. “Aren’t you here to apologize?”

“Right, right,” he cleared his throat, his demeanor changing. “Y/N, I’m deeply sorry.”

“Sure.” I narrowed my eyes, walking towards my kitchen.

He followed me. “I know what I did was fucked up. I should have responded to you.”

“You completely ignored me for over a week.” I informed him, resting my back against the counter.

He nodded. “I know. I shouldn’t have done that.”

I crossed my arms uncomfortably. “…were you busy?”

“No, not really.” He divulged, dropping his head.

“So, you purposefully ignored my calls and text…” I could feel my hands shake against my arms.

“You make it sound bad-” He mumbled.

“It is that bad.” I emphasized, stopping him. “Colby, you wanna talk about being childish? That shit was childish.”

He agreed. “I know it was.”

“Obviously not since you keep joking about it.” I argued.

“I’m not trying to joke,” he protested, running his hands through his hair. “Do you wanna know the honest to God truth?”

“Of course I do.” I answered, furrowing my eyebrows.

He exhaled, glancing at me. “When we first got together, even though we were taking it slow, I was terrified to date you.”

“Terrified?” I puzzled.

He swallowed hard. “Yes. Scared shitless.”

“Why?” I questioned.

“I thought it was because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. But then… at dinner,” his voice lowered, his shoulders dropping. “I realized it was more than that.”

I shook my head, confused. “What are you ta-”

“I’m falling in love with you, Y/N.” He confessed.

His words made me step back, my breath hitching in my throat.

I choked. “What?”

“When you laughed really hard, and did that cute snort thing you do, I remember we looked at each other… and all I saw was you,” his eyes bore into mine, causing goosebumps to rise all over my skin. “No one else in that restaurant existed. And in that moment, I wanted to tell you I love you.”

I stammered out words, unable to think clearly. “S-so… you-”

“When I felt it, I knew I had to go home. Because I was just so shocked at the feeling. I haven’t felt that way for anyone in a long time.” He sighed exhaustingly, “and… I apologize that I ignored you. Every time I saw your messages, I knew I should have responded. But my body, my mind, wouldn’t let me.”

I frowned. “Because you love me?”

“Because… I’m scared to love you.” He admitted.

A heavy silence fell over the apartment. I shuddered out an exhale, not even noticing I had been holding my breath in for so long. Colby closed his eyes, twisting up his face, and turned his back to me.

“Why are you scared to love me?” I gulped, scared of his answer.

His shoulders tensed as he gripped the counter. “The last time you felt heartbroken… did it leave you feeling empty? Because that’s how I felt… for so long. It’s not even the empty feeling that bothered me. It was the fact that I knew something used to be there… and now it’s gone. I miss who I was before.”

I opened my mouth, but no words escaped.

“I have this deep, guttural feeling that you’re gonna realize I’m not worth loving, and that there is someone else out there that is, and you’re gonna leave me.” His voice trembled as he spoke, “everyone… always leaves me.”

I gasped quietly. “Colby-”

He turned back to me, his face becoming red. “I just feel like no one ever needs me, you know? Like some people only keep me around because they don’t have the heart to just tell me they don’t care anymore. Even Sam has someone else.

I consoled. “That’s not-”

“And I know it’s selfish to want everyone around me to only want me. I don’t really feel that way. I just… don’t feel like anyone really needs me as much as I need them,” his chest quaked as his breathing began to speed up. “And when you realize it too… I don’t think I can live through that fall out again. I don’t think I’m gonna survive it.”

“Wait, Col-” I murmured.

“At that dinner, I had this gut-wrenching anxiety come over me; a voice in my head that said ‘she’s gonna leave you too’ and… I’m just so sorry.” He panted, his eyes welling up.

I wrapped my arms around him tightly, pressing his body into mine as hard as I could. He buried his face into my neck, his body almost going limp against mine.

I couldn’t help my own tears spill as they landed on his shirt. “Baby, why didn’t you tell me you were feeling this way before?”

“I was ashamed. I should be stronger than this.” He fumed through his tears.

I rubbed his face lovingly. “Who said that? You are strong. Expressing your emotions is strong.”

He nodded, croaking. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. Can you forgive me?”

“Of course. How about tonight you stay over, and then in the morning, we’ll talk about this more? Okay?” I suggested, resting my hands on his forearms.

“Yeah.” He whimpered.

I smiled brokenly. “Come on, let’s go to bed.”

I lightly grasped Colby’s hand, pulling him slowly into my bedroom. He stumbled along, his head remaining down.

I sat him down on the bed and slid off his jacket, placing it on my dresser. I cupped his face, tracing his jaw with my fingers. His eyes finally landed on mine as I tilted his head up.

I leaned down and kissed his lips, resting my forehead against his.

“I’m not gonna leave you, Colby.” I stated, gazing into his eyes.

He begged in a hushed tone. “Please don’t.”

“I won’t. I promise.” I reassured, kissing his forehead.

I walked over to the other side of my bed and laid down. Colby kicked off his shoes, taking his belt off and pulling his jeans down. After getting undressed, he slid into bed with me, laying his head down softly on my chest. Wrapping his arms around me, he buried his head into my neck again, sighing against my skin. I ran my fingers through his hair, a light hum falling from his lips. I ran my other hand up and down his spine, feeling him shiver under my touch.

“We’ll be okay, Colby.” I whispered.

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Fourteen. There's No Way.

word count: 5k (not including pictures) warnings: swearing

behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

a/n: yeeeeee very excited about this chapter!! we're getting so close to some good stuff!!!! hope you like it!!! (also, if you understand the reference to bug’s second tweet about mr clean, you’re a real one) 

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Y/n laughed as she tucked her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on top as she stared at her computer monitor. "Yeah, okay, Gogy."

Quackity's laugh sounded through her headphones, cackling loudly and gasping for air as George defended himself in their voice channel. None of them were streaming, which allowed them to tease each other relentlessly without worrying about leaking real things. Currently, the target of the teasing was Y/n. Her guilty crime: Dream’s nickname for her. "She got his ass!"

"Oh shut up, Big Q," Y/n quickly spat back. "At least neither of us has a nickname that lies about our size. Short boy."

Quackity stopped laughing and pulled out his defensive card. "Okay, that's literally not funny. That's messed up of you to say, actually."

"Waaah," Y/n mocked.

"Okay, Bugsy, but no one seriously calls me Gogy, it's just as a joke," George defended himself. "I was only saying that I think it's cute how Dream calls you Bug!"

"Shut up," she mumbled with embarrassment. She loved the nickname and especially how everyone seemed to agree it was reserved for him. She wondered if he noticed that too, how everyone else, including most fans, called her Bugsy, leaving Dream as the only online friend who used the nickname.

"She's embarrassed," Quackity giggled. "Awww. Is the Buggy Wuggy embarrassed of having a crush?"

“I don’t have a crush,” she lied convincingly. 

“You better not. The title of your affection deservingly goes to me,” he said proudly, as if there was any shred of truth in his words.

“Get over yourself, Quackity,” George laughed, “before Dream tells you off again about being too short for Bugsy.”

“HEY!”

"I'm back," Sapnap announced as he unmuted in Discord. "What did I miss?"

"They're still bullying me," Y/n exaggerated.

“No, they’re bullying me!” Quackity scoffed.

“Sapnap, make them stop,” Y/n begged playfully. Usually Sapnap was on her side.

"It’s for a good reason though," Sapnap teased. "I mean, we'll stop bullying you if you admit to liking him," he lowered his voice slightly, probably since he lived in the same house as the man they were talking about.

Y/n smiled to herself and hid it behind her hoodie sleeve as if they could see her anyway. She kinda liked that she hadn't told Quackity or Sapnap about her official crush, enjoying having a secret like that. Well, a secret that George, Karl, and Naomi knew too.

"Then I guess I'll be bullied until the day that I die," she sighed. She swore she heard George cover a laugh with a cough and she sent his icon a death glare. He seemed to enjoy knowing her secret a little too much. 

"Is anyone going to actually stream today?" Sapnap asked. "I wanna do something."

"I'm thinking about doing Jackbox later," Quackity admitted. "Do you guys wanna join if I do?"

"Yes! Please," Sapnap whined. "I'm so bored."

"Sure, I'll play. Karl is spending the night so I can make him play too."

"Sleepover?" George asked. " Can I come?"

"Hm, no."

"That's messed up!"

"Can you join, George?" Quackity asked. "I need you in my title."

George hummed contemplatively and his voice turned mischievous, if only for a moment. "Yeah, if you get Dream to play."

Yeah, he definitely enjoyed knowing her secret too much.

"Right, you only play when your boyfriend plays too," Quackity groaned. "Cancel Dreamnotfound, I believe in Dreamsy supremacy."

"Says the man who asks me to marry him every day," Y/n scoffed.

"Actually, you're right! Bugity supremacy," he said.

"I swear it's become more frequent since I said you could flirt with me online again."

"It has, I'm making up for lost time."

Y/n rolled her eyes and Sapnap laughed. "I'll get Dream to play," Sapnap offered.

"So you'll play, George? I need you to commit," Quackity said.

"Yeah, why not," George agreed before adding with a giggle, "I wanna see Dream try to flirt with Bugsy."

"I hate you all,” specifically you, George, she thought. “I'm not playing anymore."

"NO, YOU ALREADY SAID YOU WOULD!" Quackity shouted.

"FINE," she groaned, a small laugh escaping her lips and completely exposing that she wasn't actually mad. "Speaking of Karl sleeping over, he's coming over in a bit so I'm gonna get off."

"Booo," Sapnap protested lightly. "Have fun with Karl."

"Let me know if he's going to play Jackbox with us. He better," Quackity threatened with no real substance.

"I'll make him," Y/n promised. "Bye guys!"

"Bye!" George and Sapnap shouted together before she disconnected the call.

Y/n stood up from her desk, stretching softly before looking around her room. She had a laundry basket in the corner, overflowing with clean, and now probably wrinkled, clothes waiting to be folded. She decided to use her time to clean up before Karl got there, even though they were probably going to sleep on the couches if at all.

She dumped the clean clothes onto her bed, tossing the things that needed to be hung to the side and neatly folded the rest. When she put her hoodies and sweaters on hangers, she noticed how much of her friends' merch she had. She had two GeorgeNotFound hoodies, a Sapnap shirt and hoodie, and even a Quackity hoodie. Karl didn't have any merch, but she did have a few of his personal hoodies that she had stolen from him over time and considered those her own exclusive merch, even though some of them had the Mr. Beast logo on them. She decided she needed Dream's merch.

For some unknown reason, perhaps it was because of how much she liked him, her face grew warm at the thought of wearing a Dream hoodie, even though it wouldn't have belonged to him. The idea made her nervous, like that would somehow give away that she had a crush on him if she bought some of his merch, even though she bought some of her friends' and even had Karl's actual hoodies. Despite the reasons that that was stupid of her to think, her brain said owning one Dream hoodie would be a dead giveaway of her crush, so she put off buying any. In reality, he'd probably laugh in his cute way when he heard that she bought one, or maybe go "whAT!" in surprise and happiness.

She desperately wanted to tell him things like that, tell him how happy his laugh made her and how adorable he was, or how she got butterflies every time he talked about anything at all. Since she couldn’t just call him up and tell him she hated stopped thinking about him, she decided to do something bold and subtweeted him, even adding a picture of herself with her face covered, hoping he would know it was about him, but that no one else would. She turned off comments for good measure, in case the stans made assumptions. Now that she threw away the "no flirting" rule for all her friends, she could do things like this. Worst case scenario is he thinks it’s weird, she tells him it was only a joke, and they go on their merry ways. Her heart would be broken, but nevertheless her ego would be somewhat saved. Harmless. 

Nervously ― plagued with the thoughts of possible consequences of posting something so bold and, to her, so obvious — she made her way to the kitchen and got a glass of water. He would know it was about him, right? And that's what she wanted? It was so forward of her to say to the world, especially since she hadn't tagged him in it. Leaving it up to interpretation almost made it like she was trying to hide it from him, which wasn't the case or she wouldn't have hit, Tweet.

She waited for him to tweet something vague about her as a response, or maybe even text her, before realizing it had the potential to make him uncomfortable. Maybe he would pretend to not see it so he didn't embarrass her, or didn't even know it was about him. Or maybe he's asleep and hasn't been on his phone. She looked at her clock. Dream asleep at 3:30pm? Unlikely.

As Y/n fell on her bed, contemplating whether she should delete the post and pretend like it never happened, she felt her phone vibrate and quickly swiped the screen to read it.

Y/n had to literally set her phone down to scream into her pillow. He was killing her. Stabbing her in the heart and twisting the knife with his sweet compliments and smooth delivery. He had to know what he was doing, the way he was talking to her like that. No one said "prove it" in that context without having something more behind it.

Why couldn't he just like her? Why did he have to be so nice and flirty towards all his friends? Why couldn’t she be the exception?

She picked her phone back up and left the messaging app, finding her camera roll and swiping through it in search for something to catch her eye. Food pic, meme, Karl’s cat, meme, picture of Naomi nearly falling off a sidewalk... where were her pictures of her face? Did she really not have any of herself? The seemingly endless scrolling stopped when she found one from when she first moved into the apartment. Naomi had taken pictures of every room to show her parents and asked Y/n if she could show her parents the streamers room as well. Y/n cheerfully agreed, and actually wanted to be in the photo because she loved Naomi’s parents like they were her own, so she jumped on her bed and smiled for the picture.

It was cute, the comforter she sat on was messy and looked comfy, and she liked the way she was posed, cross-legged and beaming at the camera with her dying plant on the windowsill in the background and fairy lights around the room. It was also back when her room was clean and presentable. Y/n thought it was a good photo and even would have posted it if not for the whole her being a faceless streamer thing.

She held her breath, contemplating if she should just send the image to Dream. She wanted to, she really did. But that fear of how he perceived her still nagged in the back of her mind.

Y/n must have been mulling it over for a while because as she decided to not send it, Dream followed up on his last text, clearly worried that he was pressuring her. She wanted to change the subject as soon as possible before she changed her mind and face revealed to him.

Y/n took a deep breath at the thought of how close she was to sending that picture to Dream. It wasn't the first time she genuinely considered it, nor would it be the last, but that was the first time she actually looked through her camera roll for options. She so desperately wanted to. Wanted to show him what she looked like. Wanted to hear what he thought of her. Wanted to hear him say, "I like you, Bug" after finally seeing what she looked like. Wanted to let him know how much she trusted him by showing him her biggest fear. It would be so easy to just rip off the Band-Aid; only a few clicks and he could see her face. See her.

But then there was the possibility of none of her fantasies happening. What if she sent him a picture saying, "here is me!" and all he says is, "nice", not finding her pretty or ugly? What if he thought it was just like... seeing a picture of a friend. He and I are just friends, Y/n scolded herself. But him seeing her opened up the opportunity for him to like her.

It was scarier the longer she put it off, almost like the more she postponed it, the more she had to prove. If Dream knew what she looked like from the beginning, it wouldn't be that big of a deal. But since she had waited so long to show him, she felt like she had to make it worth the wait.

Was she worth the wait?

Y/n's bedroom door swung open, ripping her out of her thoughts and letting her know that Karl had arrived. He smiled at her and she laughed in response.

"Hello, Karl. Ever heard of knocking?"

"Nope!" he responded as he set down a cupholder with three drinks on her nightstand. "How are you?"

"Good." Daydreaming out about Dream... again. "How are you?"

"I'm so excited!" He dropped his backpack on the floor and turned to her, pulling her off her bed and giving her a hug. "I've missed you!"

"You saw me, like, a couple of days ago," she laughed as she hugged him back.

"A couple of days too long," he sighed dramatically, rocking back and forth into the hug before Y/n lightly pulled away from him. "Where's Naomi?"

"Uh... in her room I'm guessing?"

"I'm going to go give this to her," he explained grabbing one of the drinks and walking out. "Don't miss me too much!"

Y/n laughed and shook her head, laying back down on her bed with her phone in hand. She reread some of the texts between her and Dream and couldn't help the large smile that plastered itself on her face.

When Karl came back in, he jumped on the bed, wrapping his arms around her stomach and snuggling into her side. "Hello."

She laughed but pushed him away slightly, trying to ignore the pout on his face at her actions. "Hi."

"Oh, happy December!"

"Already? Geesh."

"Yeah, only 27 days until the lake!!!!"

Nervous and excited butterflies festered in the pit of Y/n's stomach. "What drink did you get me?"

"Your faaavorite," he sang as he grabbed the drink letting her sit up and lean against the headboard before handing it to her.

"Thank you very much," she said as she took a sip. "Oh, hey, so Quackity wants to do a Jackbox stream tonight and I said you'd join."

Karl groaned and laid back on Y/n, careful not to knock her drink out of her hand. "Noooo...."

"You don't wanna play?" she asked genuinely, patting his hair lightly as his head rested on her legs.

"I just want to hang out with you. It's been so long since we had Karl and Y/n time."

She sighed. "I know, but it will be fun. We'll play for like an hour and a half and then we can hang out for the rest of the night and all day tomorrow until you have to go to Jimmy’s house," she bargained like she was talking a four-year-old into eating some vegetables.

"Hmph. Fine," Karl pouted. "Is Dream playing?"

She shrugged. "I think so?"

"That's why you want to play so bad."

"What? No! I agreed to play before Sapnap said he would ask him."

"Mmmhm. So that Tweet earlier wasn't about him?"

"The... Tweet?" she played dumb but her face warmed up.

"Or was it about me?" he joked. "Have you just been blown away ever since we met and you're still thinking about how cute I am?"

"Shut up," she lightly pushed Karl's head off her lap as her face grew hotter. "Am I wrong though?"

"I don't know!" he said as he sat up and looked at her. "I've never seen the man!!"

"Oh, really?" she asked. "I didn't want to post it because I didn't want people to think I was bragging about knowing what he looks like..." she sighed.

"Then why did you?"

"Because... I also really wanted him to see it," she said with a shy giggle.

Karl face lit up as he cackled at her. "Look at you, trying to flirt!! Let's gooo!!!"

Y/n buried her face in her sweatshirt collar and laughed.

"Oh my gosh? Y/n subtweeting and flirting at the same time?? What on Earth?"

"It only counts if it works."

"Did it?” Karl asked as he leaned back and played with his rings. “You turned off comments and I didn't see him subtweet you back."

"That's because he... texted me... instead."

"WHAT? What did he say?"

Y/n laughed. "He said I wasn't allowed to tweet something like that and then turn off comments so he can't tell everyone it was about him."

Karl cackled again. "HAHAH! So true though!"

"Whatever. I'm not telling you anything else about our conversation."

"Why, was it spicy?"

"No. But— this is weird to talk about!"

Karl frowned. "You don't have to tell me... I just think it's so cute. But if you ever do want to talk about how much you wuv Dweam, I'm all ears. Tell me everything."

Y/n rolled her eyes fondly. "Okay Kawl."

"What time is Quackity streaming?" Karl changed the subject, understanding that Y/n actually didn't want to talk about Dream.

"I don't know. Ask him. Also, tell him you're joining so he knows." She took another long sip from her drink as Karl pulled out his phone and texted Quackity.

Her fingers itched to make another Tweet about Dream and she finally succumbed, but decided to outright tease him instead of flirt, not hiding the identity of her target this time. Really, it was just an excuse for her to try to get his attention like she couldn't just text him and have it right away.

_____

"Sapnap!" Bugsy cheered as he joined the Discord, Quackity off talking to his chat while the others slowly joined. So far, the only people there were Sapnap, Bugsy, and Karl.

"Bugsy!" he called back with a giggle. "Hi! Is Karl coming?"

"I'm here, Sapnap!" Karl announced. "Bugsy and I are just using the same mic."

"Am I not good enough for you?" she teased Sapnap and he laughed.

"Well you're going to ignore me to talk to Dream once he gets here, so I need a backup so I'm not lonely."

Y/n rolled her eyes with a smile and Karl laughed.

"We can talk while they flirt," Karl promised.

"Both of you shut up," she scolded softly.

Pretty soon, the others joined. In the end, Quackity had convinced Bad, Punz, and Wilbur to play, as well as all the feral boys.

"You could only get nine people to play, Quackity?" George asked once Quackity unmuted. "Wow, you must not have friends."

"Hey! I have friends, George! I do."

"Then where's the tenth person, Big Q?" Wilbur countered.

"LOOK! It was last minute! Where's Drea– that man is always late, I swear to—"

"I'm here!" Dream said quickly, joining the voice channel. "I'm here! Hello, everyone. Hi, Bug."

Karl smacked his hand over his mouth to cover his laugh, which escaped anyway, as he nudged Y/n. She had immediately buried her face in her hands and Karl had to turn away from the mic so no one could hear him laugh at Dream's direct greeting.

She pinched Karl's side before greeting Dream. "Hi, Dream."

"Are you guys ready to play?" Quackity asked.

"Wait, no, we're going to have to have Gene! Can't you get anyone else?" Punz asked.

"Everyone I've asked has said no!" Quackity groaned. "I'm out of people. Deal with Gene."

Y/n and Karl looked at each other at the same time, thinking the same thing. Naomi had been talking about wanting to play Jackbox sometime but that she never has anyone to play with other than Karl and Y/n. She'd be meeting most of these people on vacation in a couple of weeks anyway, why not see if she wants to play?

"What about my roommate?" Y/n spoke up as Quackity sent the code to the Discord.

"Who?" he asked.

"You literally met her when you visited," Karl laughed. "Naomi."

"Oh, yeah! She's cool."

"Invite her to play," George said, making Dream laugh lightly and Y/n smile because they knew they had been talking a lot.

"Yeah, give me a second, don't start yet," Y/n said before sliding off her headphones and making her way to Naomi's room. Before Y/n could even knock, Naomi swung open her door quickly, phone open to the Twitch app in her hand.

"I heard everything," she rushed out, eyes wide and hopeful. "C-can I play?"

"Yeah, you want to?"

"PLEASE."

"There are currently 130,000 people watching, just so you know."

"That's fine, I'm cool under pressure." That was very true. Y/n wouldn’t have let Naomi join if she thought her friend couldn’t handle the attention. She thrived in it. "Should I come to your room?"

"Yeah, come on." Y/n led the way and pulled up a third chair to her desk. Karl offered to listen to the Discord on his phone so Naomi could use the second pair of headphones to listen to everyone. All three of them still used Y/n's mic, Karl muted on his phone. "Okay, kinda scuffed set up, but we're all here. Everyone, this is Naomi."

"Hello!" Naomi said happily. "Nice to meet you all!"

Everyone greeted her and Y/n noted the redness on Naomi's cheeks as George greeted her with a soft, "Nice to talk to you again, Naomi."

Karl giggled again and slapped his hand over his mouth; Y/n had a feeling he'd have to do that a lot this stream.

"Can we all agree to not pander?" Bad asked, earning a few approvals.

"What if we play one game where we only pander?" Dream asked. "Like pander as much as possible for every answer."

"Wait, yeah, let's do that so everyone can get it out of their system," Wilbur agreed.

"But Naomi doesn't know us well enough to pander yet," Sapnap countered.

"Yes I do," she said with a laugh. "I've watched enough streams and lore videos to know exactly how to get votes."

"Damn, okay then," Sapnap mumbled.

"Yeah, she'll be fine," George promise and Naomi blushed again, making Y/n laugh. Naomi joined the lobby on her phone and the round began.

Pandering being the goal was both annoying and hilarious because people used the same jokes, but it was funny to see how hard people were trying to get the audience votes.

"Something you would take with you on a deserted island," Quackity read out loud as the prompt showed up. "An iPad full of downloaded skephalo fanfiction, HAHAH, or dreamnotfound fanart." Everyone laughed and Y/n could hear George scoff at one answer in particular.

"Aw, I love Skeppy!" Bad said innocently.

"Was that your answer then, Badboyhalo?" Wilbur teased as everyone voted on their favorite. Y/n, of course, cast her vote towards skephalo, but still pretended like the other answer didn't make her jealous. The player votes were split, but the audience made Sapnap's answer win in a landslide.

"Okay, the most disappointing thing to hear from a friend," Wilbur read the next one out loud. "Dreamsy is real, and you don't have a shot with BugsyGames."

"What the hell?" Y/n laughed loudly at the similarity between the two responses. Dream was laughing so hard, wheezing like he would never stop, and the sound brought a large grin to Y/n's face.

Everyone's laughs overlapped and mingled with each other and it was such a happy sound, distracting everyone's attention from Y/n a little.

"That would be the worst thing to hear!" Quackity yelled. "Good thing Bugity is real."

Dream stopped laughing abruptly and instead yelled, "WHAT?" which only made everyone laugh harder.

"Vote!!" Bad reminded.

"Wait, Quackity, what did you just say?" Dream asked.

"Well, I've seen her face, so... I think she loves me more," he said, just trying to get a rise out of the other, which seemed to be working.

Y/n thought again about how close she was to sending a picture of herself to Dream earlier. He probably would have immediately used it against Quackity, but she didn't think she would have minded because it was funny to see Dream jealous, real or not.

"Only because you flew out to hang out with Karl!" Dream yelled. "I'd fly just to see her."

"Then do it," Y/n challenged before she could think and her heart stopped at her own words.

Dream went silent and it was Naomi's turn to cover her laugh with her hand, Karl's eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

"Why are you so defensive, huh, Dream?" Punz asked.

"Uh, you-you have to be when fighting for Bug's love and attention," he joked finally, and Y/n's heart resumed beating, a little fast at the implication of his words. Why did she say that? He probably thought she was so weird. "It's every person for themselves." Then again, so was he.

The votes were pretty split since they said the same thing, but the surprising thing was who said what. She expected one of them to be from Quackity, but she didn't know who wrote the second one about not having a shot. Sapnap maybe? Karl? They all joke around so who put it?

"DREAM?" Sapnap laughed. "You wrote that?"

"Well, yeah, I mean..." he trailed off with a laugh and Y/n's face caught fire. Did he really think he didn't have a shot? Because reality check: he’s the only one with arrows and the target is wide open. Was he joking or stupid or was she just not as obvious as she previously thought?

"Okay, okay, next one," Quackity laughed. "If cats were political leaders, everyone’s favorite president would be: Patches, okay," he paused as Dream cheered loudly, "and Bingus."

"Corpse isn't even here! Wrong audience!" Karl said.

"Bingus is for all audiences," Y/n mumbled, making Naomi laugh.

"Uh-oh, another faceless man stealing Bugsy's heart—?" Sapnap joked, immediately cut off by Dream's stern, "no."

"Naomi, you put Patches?" Wilbur laughed as the votes went towards the girl on Y/n's left. "Okay, she does know more than we thought."

"Oh, I know everything," she said evilly, double-meaning evident in her voice. Y/n gave her a look and Naomi just smiled innocently.

The pandering got so intense that Y/n almost cried tears of joy when the first Quiplash game was over and the no-pandering rule got put back into play.

"What, you don't like your name being every other answer?" Wilbur joked and Y/n shook her head.

"No. But certain ones were okay..."

"Yeah, the Bugity ones," Quackity joked.

Dream hummed out a soft, "Okay, Quackity," and the next game began.

The games went on as usual and Y/n had a blast. It was so fun to see her best friend interact with all her online friends for the first time and it warmed her heart how inclusive they were, making sure Naomi wasn't left out of jokes. It helped that Naomi's sense of humor was similar and that she already knew a lot about the streamers, but Y/n was still grateful for all the efforts put forth by her friends.

It also helped that George and Naomi clearly liked each other.

"Is anyone going to stream?" Quackity asked as he started wrapping up.

"I will if no one else is," Punz said. "I'm going to play Valorant."

"Oh, can I play?" Sapnap asked.

"Yeah, definitely, dude."

"Okay, I'll raid you." Quackity muted after thanking everyone for playing and Y/n left the call.

"Dude, that was SO FUN!" Naomi stood up and yelled. She sat down on the end of Y/n's bed, hands balled up in excitement.

Karl laughed as he fell on top of the bed next to where Naomi sat. "I'm so glad you guys all got along!"

"Yeah, I almost started crying when everyone was laughing at your jokes," Y/n laughed, swiveling in her chair to look at them. "That made me so happy."

"Oh my gosh, thank you so much for letting me play. I had so much fun. And they're all so nice and funny and I was worried they'd make me feel left out but they didn't at all."

"I'm so glad you had fun," Y/n said. "We'll invite you again if you want."

"Please do. Only if everyone's okay with it though!"

"I'm sure they would be."

“The lake is going to be so fun,” she sighed whimsically. 

“Because George?” Karl teased, causing Naomi to punch his arm. 

A Discord notification sounded on Y/n's computer and she turned to look at the screen, smiling when she saw Dream's name.

Dream: You left the vc so quick :( Bugsy: I have two goons to hang out with :( Dream: :(((( Dream: I wanna be the only goon you hang out with Dream: I was right, I don't have a chance with you Dream: Karl is the only focus of Bugs attention Bugsy: ?? Bugsy: lies detected Dream: wait really Bugsy: ... Bugsy: do I need to remind you of the tweet I posted earlier Dream: bug don't say things like that to me Bugsy: why not Dream: can you kick Karl back to his house so we can ft or call :( Bugsy: no <3 Bugsy: we can tomorrow after Karl leaves Dream: promise? Dream: don't get my hopes up bug Bugsy: yeah I promise :) Dream: :D

"Pay attention to me!" Karl whined. Y/n turned back around and saw that Naomi had left the room and Karl was laying upside down, close to falling off the bed with his head dangling dangerously close to the ground.

She laughed and typed one last message to Dream.

Bugsy: bye bye dream :) Dream: goodnight bug :] sleep well

"Okay," she huffed jokingly, turning back to Karl. "You have my full, undivided attention."

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[certified-sloth]

Ok so, this is my first time actually posting but I was suddenly motivated on making an angst fic where Mammon just had enough.

It's obvious he loves his family a lot when he doesn't even do much when they made him the family punching bag.

I'm not good with picturing their personalities just yet but i'll try to get them in character

Anyway-

When he's had enough (Mammon)

"You're so worthless."

"Scum."

"What did you do this time?"

"Obviously something terrible."

He stood there and took their words just like any other day.

"Mammon?" Lucifer called out with his arms crossed, staring at the 2nd oldest with a raised eyebrow.

The said demon only stared at his brother with a baffled look. "What? You're expecting me to confess as if I did something wrong today?" He responded.

Belphie looked at his older brother with a lazy look. "Why wouldn't you? You're always onto something." He replied.

Oh, Mammon grew tired of that same phrase. He'd usually brush it off with an offended look but not really take it seriously.

He's had enough of it. Honestly he loves his brothers very much, but that doesn't mean the way they treat him doesn't have limits.

"Right, just like how you almost ruined the exchange program just because of your grudge against humans." He spat back, causing the youngest to stare at him with wide eyes.

"Mammon, take that back..." Beel chimed in to his twin's defense while the others looked at Mammon in surprise that he would bring that up again.

"Take what back? I'm just telling the truth!" The avatar of greed laughed as he stared at his younger brother with amused eyes.

"Mammon." The oldest of the seven warned. Mammon frowned from that tone. He adores his older brother a lot, but he hates how he gets all of the punishments when he can't control his sin.

"What big bro?" He replied with a sarcastic grin as he turned to Lucifer. This caught him off-guard when Mammon would usually just stop and look at him in fear.

"Oh, you look surprised? Funny." He remarked. It was Satan's turn to step in. "What is wrong with you?" He asked.

Mammon chuckled and looked at the blonde. "Everything, right?" He answered and stared into his emerald eyes looking for a confirmation.

"Mammon talking down on himself for once? That's new!" Levi chimed, posting it on his account.

"You think it's funny?" Mammon asked. Which caused the third oldest to stop and look at him. Mammon laughed blankly. "Sure, i'll joke with you!" He entertained.

"W-wait... no I-" Levi stuttered. Lucifer came back from his trance and stepped back in. "Mammon, what is the meaning of this?" He asked.

"Meaning of what 'big brother'? I'm just having fun! Same old me, the clown of the family!" He replied with a smile.

"You need to stop, this is ruining my-" before Asmo could finish, Mammon cut in. "Your what? Your skin? Funny how your skin is much more important than your brother who's THIS close to LOSING IT!" He laughed, shutting Asmo up.

Everyone was silent. This made the avatar of Greed annoyed and glanced at each and every one of them. "Now you're all quiet when just a while ago, you were talking me down." He grumbled.

"Mam-"

"not 'nother word! I don't wanna hear it!" He cut Satan off.

"Mammon, what's wrong?" Lucifer asked, his face showed worry when normally, he was hard to read.

"Now you're worried and asking me?! I'm tired! I'm sick of being the one that gets punished all the time!" He complained.

"I steal? I get punished! A long receipt from what a get? I get punished! Well gee, Lucifer! I can't control my sin now can I?!"

He pointed at Levi. "Levi almost killing my human just cuz they knew better of something he likes? You let him go with just a warning!"

Levi stared at him speechless.

Then, Mammon pointed at Satan. "HE tried to threaten my human just because they didn't want to make a pact that wasn't genuine!"

He then pointed to Asmo.

"He was the whole reason we were almost EATEN by Levi's snake and you turned a blind eye to it as well!"

Then to Beel.

"He tried to attack my human cuz of a custard when he literally knew I was the one that talked them to it! And you gave him a light punishment!"

Beel looked guilty and looked down. Belphie frowned. "This is going too far Mammon-"

Mammon laughed and looked at him. "Let's not forget our dear youngest brother!" He said in glee, making Belphie shut up.

"The one that killed them." He deadpanned. Mammon smiled again and looked at Lucifer again. "He almost ruined Lord Diavolo's program, if it weren't for Barbatos maybe he would've ruined it immediately! And what? You just let it slide but when I so much as to take one single thing, you what? You hang me."

Lucifer opened his mouth to try and say something, but he couldn't. "Ah... let's not forget you too big brother!" He hummed.

"You were the one who assigned me to them, you talk and warn all about not ruining Lord Diavalo's plan, but what? You tried to kill them more than one time because they hurt your pride?" He pointed out.

"Let's be real here, none of you really thought of me as a brother, did you? Because if you did, maybe I wouldn't be here looking like some fool that just feels like a punching bag every time!" When they were about to retaliate, they stopped when they saw tears spilling from their brother's eyes.

He was breaking down. How long had it been since he cried? He can't remember. He took every painful word they spat at him but he was hoping they didn't mean any of it at all.

"...I just wanted to be your brother..." he crumbled in front of them as he cried every single pain he kept inside.

[cjsinkythoughts]

FATWS One Shot #5 - Reminiscing

Word Count: 1195

Warnings: Mention of The Fall, Cursing, Teasing, Fluff, Not Much Else

Setting/Characters: Takes place before they moved to D.C., so before Stars, Stripes, and Bubbles and CA:TWS; In New York City; Reader, Steve Rogers

A/N: I didn’t post any writing today so I whipped this up because I wanted to at least put a dent in the One Shot list. I know it’s a bit out of order, but I got this request and I wanted to make it separate from the movie scenes because I felt like Steve would’ve told her this before. They also hadn’t visited the museum yet, obviously, or else she’d know about him already. It’s just a cute little thing about the good ole days. It’s a bit shorter, but there wasn’t much more to add and I like it the way it is.

I’ll try posting more this week; I’m babysitting my little cousin tomorrow and Tuesday, but I’m off work Wednesday, so I’ll be able to write more then. The next One Shot is already being worked on; it’s back in order so it’s gonna take place during TWS. I have to update the One Shot list to accommodate the ideas brainstormed between myself, a couple friends, and you lovely readers.

This isn’t beta’d, as usual, so please excuse any mistakes! Be kind to yourselves and others! Enjoy this one, thank you for reading, and stay tuned!

FATWS Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts Masterlist

You let out a wolf whistle, leaning on the back of Steve’s chair. “Who is that? He’s pretty cute. You know, for someone from a hundred years ago.”

Steve scoffed and rolled his eyes at you with a smile on his lips. It fell when he looked back down at the black and white picture that was fraying at the ends and had a tint to it from the time it’s spent on the earth. The young man you were pointing at, probably mid-20s if you had to guess, was grinning at the camera, looking sharp in an Army uniform, hat tilted on his head.

“That’s…Bucky.”

“Bucky?” You snickered, but then you caught sight of the far off look in Steve’s eye and found yourself frowning. “Who was he?”

“He was…” Steve sighed, leaning back into the chair, his head falling back onto your forearm. “He was my best friend.”

You set your chin on his shoulder, looking at another picture, yellowing with time. He was in that one too, over to the side with a cigarette in his mouth, his arm around two other soldiers, dark hair slicked back. You had heard about the Howling Commandos, who you were guessing were the other guys in the photo. Everyone learned about them in history class in grade school. Captain America and his Commandos fighting against HYDRA, beating the Nazis and saving the day. “Did you meet in Italy?”

“No.” Steve shook his head, carefully setting down the beat up picture. “We…we met when we were kids. We grew up together. In Brooklyn.”

Humming, you studied him, noting the tightened jaw and the crease in his brow, you looked down and tilted your head, spotting another picture of the two of them smiling. Tracing it gently, you tenderly inquired, “he meant a lot to you?”

“He was my brother. He was always there for me. At my lowest, he held me up. I never was truly alone. I always had him.”

You could hear the grief in his voice as he spoke in adoration about the man, frozen in time with a smile on his face in a frame to protect him from fading. “What happened?” You asked softly, running your fingers through Steve’s gold locks that were falling in his eyes.

Steve gave a heavy sigh, closing his eyes. “A mission went sideways. To catch Zola?” He looked up at you to see if you had read about that particular operation of theirs in a file somewhere. You nodded, remembering vaguely the mission he was talking about.

“A train in the Alps, right? I thought you caught him, though.”

The man nodded, sad eyes avoiding your gaze. “We did. But…we were ambushed. Bucky…Bucky and I were separated. I tried to get to him…I couldn’t-” He stopped talking, closing his eyes to compose himself. “He fell and I couldn’t reach him in time.”

“Steve…” you shook your head, scratching that spot at the nape of his neck you knew helped him relax. “It wasn’t your fault, bubs.” He opened his mouth to argue, but decided against it and nodded. “May I?”

He nodded again when you gestured to the box he had on the desk in front of him, letting you look through the other pictures he had. “Tell me about him.”

The blonde gave a little chuckle, smiling fondly at the memories spinning around in his brain. “He was a jerk. He always tried to keep my outta trouble. We met after some kids tried stealing my lunch money. I-I kinda tried fighting them. He beat ‘em up for me.”

“You never did like bullies.”

He grinned at you. “No…no I didn’t. There was this one time…”

You leaned your cheek against his shoulder and watched his face light up as he told you stories about him and Bucky being boys. Playing in the mud, racing through Central Park, going to Coney Island, eating ice cream, sitting on the fire escape. 

“He used to read to me. A lot. When I got sick and stuff. He liked reading. He told me it was his way of taking me somewhere without getting outta bed. I used to draw him scenes from his favorite books while listening. It gave me something to do with my hands. That’s why I picked it up. I could do it from bed.”

“Did he draw too?”

“Hell no! Pal could barely draw a stick figure! I made him take this art class with me and all he did was mope about it because it was the only class he had trouble in. But it was our agreement; he could take me to the gym he went to if he came with me to class.”

You giggled at the image of scrawny little Steve in a gym. “You went to a gym?”

He gave you a bemused look. “You’re not funny. Yes I went to a gym. I didn’t do much. Bucky trained a lot though. He was the YMCA welterweight champion three years in a row.”

“No kidding.” You picked up a picture of Bucky sitting on a couple steps, a t-shirt tucked into pants being held up by suspenders. “Look at those arms.”

“Shuddup!” Steve laughed, pushing you playfully. 

You sniggered. “I’m just saying. I bet he got all the ladies.”

“Are you kidding? Dames lined up at the door to dance with him. You would’ve too,” he poked your side. “If you lived back then.”

You shook your head, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. “He’s cute, but I’d much rather watch you draw.”

Steve snorted. “Trust me. You’d be singing a different tune if you met him. You would’ve liked him. He would’ve liked you.” He went quiet, his expression morphing into one of contemplation.

“Well anyone willing to stand up and hang out with that stubborn kid from Brooklyn has my vote.” You joked, ruffling his locks.

Steve didn’t say anything. He just looked at you for a minute, before turning back to the pictures and starting to clear them away. “I’m gonna put these away and we can go for that run, alright?”

You nodded, getting off of him and stretching. “Alright. But you can’t lap me again!” He chortled at that, smirking not so innocently. “I’m so serious, Rogers! That was mean! I feel so out of shape when you do that!”

“Alright, alright. I won’t honey. I promise.” He grabbed your hand and placed a kiss to your knuckles. “And you’re beautiful no matter what, okay?”

“Sure, bubba.”

“I mean it!”

You smiled at his insistence, his eyebrow knit together in seriousness. “Okay. Meet me outside when you’re done.”

“Yes ma’am!” He nodded, spinning back to his keepsakes and adding as an afterthought, “wanna go see a moving picture?”

You gave him an amused look, trying not to laugh. “Yeah, Stevie. I’d love to go see a movie with you.”

He blushed, the tips of his ears turning bright red. “Movies. Right.”

“Don’t worry about it, Steve. It’s endearing.” You winked at him as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Now hurry up. I wanna get out there before it gets too hot.”

****************

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[carnationcreation]

Ranks (Dustin Brooks x reader)

✌🏻Masterlist Taglist, Requests, and Works in progress!

Please check bio to see if requests are open before sending any in! 

Request: @pezzbosch We like semi-sad fics here, so obviously Dustin trying to cheer his crush up when he notices something is wrong :)

Prompt/summary: Dustin notices his sparring partner is very upset

Word Count: 1,172

Authors note: I deviated slightly mostly because I’d been talking about writing this imagine idea for a while, I hope you don’t mind :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I couldn’t stand him.

The cocky headstrong Earth ninja somehow always got paired up with me for our sparring test.

No one understood why I hated him, but after years of studying and training as hard as I could, somehow I was always under his shadow. And for what? Because he was funny? Because he could light up a room? Because he was handsome and-

I’m stopping myself there.

Today is the day I waited for all term. Class ranks. If I made it into the top five then I could become a student teacher and start teaching the younger classes with Sensei. The listings would be posted after lunch so when I finished eating I rushed to the dojo to read off the list.

Earth Ninjas:

I scanned down the list searching for my name only to feel my heart drop.

5. Dustin Brooks

6. (Y/n) (Y/l/n)

I held back tears as I stomped down the path and to the gate of the academy. Maybe it was best I skipped training today, it wouldn’t affect anything anyways.

The gates opened allowing the late students entrance and I managed to slip out unnoticed.

At least unnoticed to most, the last person I wanted to see today somehow saw me leaving.

“(Y/n)? Where are you going? Class is about to start.”

I tightened my grip on my bag and quickened my pace.

“(Y/n)” Dustin yelled, running to catch up to me on the trail, “Yo we gotta head back. Sensei’s gonna be pissed if we miss our sparring test.”

I didn’t say anything.

“Come on I can’t do my test if my partners not there-”

I spun on my heel coming face to face with him, “Can you just leave me alone?”

Dustin stared at me wide eyed. I wiped the tears from my face as I turned back down the path.

“Wait, what are you upset about?” He called after me.

I sighed, “Nothing you should concern yourself with.”

Dustin jogged in front of me stopping me in my tracks, “You’re totally upset about something. You never miss class, ever.”

“Yeah but somehow I still scored lower than you,” I snapped. I winced at my tone.

“What are you talking about?”

I rolled my eyes, “Class ranks.”

“Dude,” Dustin laughed, “I didn’t even know people paid attention to those.”

“Well some do,” I snapped, how could he be laughing at this? “If I had stayed in the top five I would’ve had the chance to become a student teacher. Maybe even get the opportunity to teach at the academy after I graduated, but somehow you passed me and got a higher score. Now definitely won’t get to.”

I shoved past him to continue down the trail.

“Woah woah woah, what are you saying? I somehow got fifth place?”

I nodded, wiping another tear from my face as I kept walking.

“How's that possible?” He said, “You totally kicked my butt last week during our spar.”

“You tell me.” I sniffled.

“Listen I’m sorry I ruined your master plan for graduation, but I honestly don’t even know how I scored high.”

I rolled my eyes.

Once again Dustin jogged in front of me to stop me, “Maybe if you talked a little more instead of just taking directions or something-”

“I don’t even wanna hear it Dustin! I put so much time and effort into studying for you to pass me even though you almost never show up! It’s so not fair.”

Dustin winced at my outburst backing up a few steps, “Maybe if we just head back and talk to Sensei-”

“Sensei is the one who makes the class ranks Dustin, I doubt he made a mistake. People just seem to like you more with your funny little jokes and your cute smirk-”

“Cute?”

I huffed, “Please just let me head home. Go do your stupid sparring test without me.”

“Kinda can’t, you’re my partner,” he said.

I growled feeling an ache start to form in my head from trying to stop myself from crying. I wasn’t sure how it happened, but with a throw of my arms the ground seemed to do my bidding. Dustin yelped as he was sunk into the ground up to his waist.

“Hey, watch the suit!” 

I rolled my eyes before extending a hand out to him to help him out of the ground.

“Dude, you seriously got skills.”

“Maybe it's because I show up to classes and study,” I said, I swiped at the dirt that covered his uniform, the same black and yellow robes that I wore. 

Dustin grabbed the bag that had fallen off my arm to the ground and started back up the path, “And you won’t get any higher in rank if you don’t come take the test!”

I rolled my eyes, “Fine. But you’re going down.”

_____

I took a deep breath pulling the hood over my head and face, the warmth of my breath making my cheeks warm against the fabric. 

Sensei stood to the side of the mat as Dustin and I faced each other to bow.

“Begin.”

I had to say, Dustin was a good fighter. But he focused too much on strength and never enough on skill or speed.

Dodging his punches and jabs were easy but when he did hit he hit hard. A quick uppercut to my stomach left me breathless and not in the sappy romantic way. I managed to grab his arm and twisted it around flipping him onto his back, he swiped at my feet but like I did earlier I threw my arm down towards the earth and disappeared into the ground below us.

Dustin looked around confused as I popped up behind him taking his feet out from under him and pinning his chest to the ground.

“Well done,” we heard Sensei say. I helped Dustin to his feet before we bowed to each other then to our Sensei.

“I must say you two are quite the duo, perhaps a duo that can be beneficial to the younger student joining the academy,” he smiled.

“You want us to teach?” Dustin asked.

Sensei nodded, “Starting next week you will help the newest students learn the basics of the Wind Ninja Academy. I look forward to seeing your progress.”

He bowed to us once again and we returned the favor before turning back to one another.

“You did it!” Dustin cheered, giving me a high five.

“I thought he only took the top five students?” I questioned.

He shrugged, “Maybe it’s not based on rank.”

I shrugged, “So, what are you thinking about doing on Monday?’

“Nothing other than work,” he said, “What are you thinking?”

“We need to prepare for our first class,” I smiled.

“Like a date?” he smirked.

I shrugged, “Only if you want it to be.”

“Oh then it definitely can be,” he smiled.

He threw an arm around my shoulder walking back down the path we had earlier, only this time it was all smiles. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[quietrainfan]

Hey! Anyone want some heavy platonic Loceit angsty headcanons I've extracted from the new episode? Well, too bad because it's happening regardless. :)

Yes, also some Unsympathetic Patton. You know what blog you're on. (This interpretation/headcanon shall not die. Not here.)

(Also, this is going to combine my observations and thoughts as well, so sorry in advance if this post turns out as a bit of a mess.)

Alright, so! Orange Side confirmation. How we feelin', Sanders Sides fandom, how we feelin'?

Honestly, the Orange Side theory wasn't something I was really all that into. It was a 'meh, could be cool' headcanon for me personally. But I have to say the way the reveal was handled made me jump in my seat with pure joy. No joke, I audibly gasped when Logan's eyes flashed orange.

It was all downhill from there, I was excited. Anyone who knows me will tell you I'm a sucker for character's eyes glowing when they've reached their limit or are displaying a power they've never shown before, combine that with an unexpected reveal and I'm sold.

Plus, glowing eyes have been a common theme with Unsympathetic content and Dark Side headcanons so you could imagine how the first peak into the Orange Side's existence (or, rather confirmation. we all saw the 'hello' hint, Orange, you cheeky little munchkin.) was his color in Logan's eyes made me feel. It was so cool!!! Ah!

Then Thomas had to tease us again at the end card with our boy Orange's eyes popping up in the darkness, waiting for his chance to be too loud to ignore. Like, the audacity. Who do you think you are, Thomas?! (That was a joke. Sorry, I'm just really pumped.)

Also, Remus got quite a few laughs out of me. Ah, I missed him.

Okay, headcanon time! We're going to do Logan first, then Janus, then combine the two. Sound good? Alright, here we go (Trigger Warning for discussions of alcoholism, please if anything I write here sounds insensitive or inaccurate, let me know and I will edit. Also, no need to read if you don't want to. Stay safe.) :

Logan

Logan knew where to grab for that alcohol bottle.

I mean, I guess that makes sense since he lives there and is naturally the most observant Side. But...that bottle's placement was a little too convenient.

Sure it was played up as a joke and it was funny.

But something about the way Logan threw his coffee into the sink and quickly replaced it with the wine stuck out to me.

I've joked about Logan and/or Janus having to "drink to cope" due to sharing the single brain cell Thomas has amongst all the chaos. But seeing that in an actual episode, even as a gag, is kind of...different.

Let me explain.

This may be a common thing for Logan that he struggles with.

He wakes up early to be the first one to help Thomas start the day, naturally. Logan goes to make his cup of coffee and there's always the lingering urge to take a sip of wine before anyone can see because he just...can't face everyone without needing just a little bit of it to cloud out all the gross, petty, negative feelings he experiences every day around them.

He's logic. He can't be drinking and risk any more harm to Thomas's function.

So, it's a constant battle with coffee vs wine, coffee vs wine, coffee vs wine-

Most of the time Logan is able to resist and go with the coffee.

It doesn't make him feel good in the slightest. If anything it makes him feel even worse knowing he'll be more alert that day.

Logan hates that was even a thought at all. He needs to be alert. Otherwise everything will fall apart. He is the rock in the system and without him everything will crumble.

Such a selfish mindset. He needed to focus.

Other days Logan just doesn't have it in him to discard the wine regardless of how much he wants to.

He knows what the day holds for him. It was all so repetitive at this point. Logan knew when he wasn't able to get through it despite it all.

That didn't stop him from shaming himself for caving. He should be able to handle this. He's made so much progress with resisting it up to this point but today he through it away again because he just had to, right?

Sometimes Logan finds himself "cheating" by hiding a couple drops of wine into his coffee on days when he chose the coffee but later felt particularly bad about...a lot of things, into his second cup.

Logan more often times chooses neither. The temptation for clouding out the others was just too strong and was a waste of time.

Logan is beyond tired of the others.

Every single action they have agitates him now. No matter how minor it is.

Roman's loud voice and constant references makes Logan's toes unconsciously curl beneath his shoes. Even a silent warm smile and wave from the prince fills Logan with an unpleasant tingle in his knuckles.

Virgil's neverending foreboding and unnecessary nasty remarks that he doesn't even bother to filter provokes Logan's new habit of biting his tongue. Any kindness he ever gives him makes his stomach twist.

Patton's nicknames, poking for for a laugh, his "sweet" way of shoving away any objection he may have, how casually he behaves as if he isn't part of any problems- how quickly he's prepared to "bounce back". Logan feels like every word, action from him something steps on a guitar cord in the back of his mind that makes the ugliest, loud, screeching sound. He feels this strange warm fuzzy ache he can't define. All he hears is that cord playing faster and faster the longer he stays in their presence. Logan no longer trusts himself alone with Patton.

Logan thinks if he just separates from the others long enough, the ugly strumming noise will go away.

But he's so wrong.

Logan can hear it even when he's all alone. When it's finally silent, he still can't get rid of it.

It's loudest when Logan is alone in his room. Logan has lost count of how many nights he's spent clenching his head, quietly sobbing, and praying for it to just go away already.

Logan often feels like he's losing it.

On nights where the sounds are particularly louder than usual, he swears he can see orange shadows creeping around him, lights of the color flashing on and off, he sometimes even sees it seeping in and out of the cracks of his door like a thick fog. At times he'll even wake to it glowing absurdly bright through his window.

It's just the sunrise. Logan tells himself. He has to believe that. Everything else looked normal, after all.

What's worse is Logan doesn't know how long he's been hearing this sound or seeing the strange lights.

Patton knows about Logan's late night and early morning struggles.

But surprise, surprise, he pretends as if he's nonthewiser.

If either Virgil or Roman asks about Logan, Patton will answer: "Oh, that silly billy's probably got his head in one of his astronomy books again! I wouldn't bother him right now."

Knowing full well he's having an emotional breakdown in his room that gets worse every day.

Knowing about the little sneaks of alcohol in his hot morning beverage. Might even speak about yummy drink combinations when they hang out in the living room, while Logan is present, specifically and even only on the days Patton knows he's cheating with his bad habit, while he's still drinking it.

The further Logan is to the edge, the better. Patton is still bitter about the events of Redux ending in his favor, after all. He needs leverage from somewhere.

When Thomas left to see Nico, Logan heard the cord again. His chest tightened and though he could feel the tears welling up, he kept them down.

Thomas hasn't been very happy lately. He had to let him have this.

No matter how loud those cords get.

Janus

I noticed that Janus was either unseen by the others or unacknowledged by them.

Janus was near all of them but far enough that he was separated.

He could've just popped up at the end without them noticing but...that's less angsty therefore less fun so-

Janus has been the instigator for bringing Sides that have been hidden away to be brought to light for a long time. If the assumption that Janus let Remus out is true.

He's always been hinting at upcoming events that are sure to come if Thomas continues to ignore certain aspects of himself.

He knows. He knows our Orange boy is getting worse and soon will be too loud to ignore. Janus wants to protect Thomas but that's becoming harder every day. Thomas is making it harder.

Janus will reveal the Orange Side eventually. And very soon. Hell, that's looking like less and less of a choice considering Logan's...outburst.

I think Janus has this painful awareness that he can be seriously hated for doing his job. After all, he's always the one who's forced them to acknowledge uncomfortable truths about Thomas.

He's the one giving them all of those hard pills to swallow and especially after Remus, it is definitely overwhelming and exhausting to be met with.

They question their roles more and more because of how used they are to the fixed mindset Thomas has had for such a long time.

That can't feel good.

Janus knows that his job may cause more hatred to fester the more that's revealed.

Janus is being kept at arms length and he knows that won't stop any time soon.

But he's a clever snake. That won't keep him from keeping an eye on Patton.

(Find it real suspicious that Patton was all mushy with Janus in that end card but still is at a big distance from him.)

Loceit

Janus will sometimes find Logan in the common room with his head in his arms, sprawled out against the coffee table. His glasses being discarded from half his face, unmistakable tears lazily dripping out of his lifeless eyes.

Janus would wordlessly go to the sink and grab a glass, filling it with water.

Janus goes over to Logan, giving him a gentle rub on the back. He urges him to sit up. It takes Logan a few minutes but eventually does.

Janus hands Logan the water, supporting the back of his neck as struggles to get it down, reminding him to take his time.

Janus takes his glasses and gently sets them on the table. He hands Logan some tissues.

Logan lifelessly takes them and tries to clean his face. But he always ends up crying into them.

Janus moves Logan unkempt bangs from his face before moving his head to his shoulder. Janus manifests a warm blanket over Logan and uses a bit of his abilities to soothe the shorter man's pain, tenderly putting pressure on his neck.

Janus and Logan have a talk. Logan always asks why he bothers to stop and comfort him.

"You've helped me through a lot, Logan. Not returning the favor is out of the question."

That was always his answer.

Janus and Logan do this often.

Janus opens up about sometimes needing a bit of a drink himself from time to time. Though mostly that consists of tea more often than not, he sometimes has a glass of wine or two to relax on days when it's particularly hard.

He feels ashamed of it. Janus has to be the strongest out of everyone, especially the Dark Sides. Allowing things to faze him was the worst case scenario. At least, to that degree.

But Janus understands that isn't his fault and urges Logan not to blame himself, either. While he hated that weakness he occasionally submitted to, he wasn't going to let the rare slip up to define the worth of his role.

Logan thinks that Janus really is the strongest out of all of them just for saying things like that and he's being too hard on himself.

On nights when things become too much Janus will sit with Logan and share a drink. They try to have as many conversations without wine as possible but sometimes Janus says "screw it" and sits with Logan with one or two drinks.

Just having Janus there helps Logan choose his coffee in the mornings and feel as if he's being heard even a little bit.

Now if only those cords could actually quiet down, that'd be even better.