#I read Reciprocity last night and now this apparently no sleep puts me in an angst mood?

[terrahlee-cup]

*Inhales* I have like three hours of sleep time to read NLW and write down my reactions by chapter! Surely this can only go well. (I am so sorry in advance.) @raphaelesbian I have thoughts look at them.

Oh we’re fully just starting with Raph fighting off a panic attack this poor baby oh my gosh. Like a paragraph in and I need to stick this child in a pile of blankets. Good.

Hehe, “Storkman.” Deserved.

“And how would that work out for us, exactly?” Leo, honey, your brother is so fucking traumatized by when he was controlled of course he’s willing to rush in to get someone else out. Someone please give this dumbass the brain cell <3

Okay please give ANY of them the braincell. Teenagers I swear lol.

Oh that would be the trauma this bodes well for Raph dealing with Karai’s situation uh-huh. Aw, Casey to the rescue though love him.

Aw they’re having f- OH THAT’S NOT GOOD. MMMM THAT’S REALLY NOT GOOD.

“My pet dumbass.” You’re all dumbasses you’re like 15.

Oh hey having your own experience mirrored back doesn’t end well I wonder why I’m not surprised. Ouch his arm jeez- annnd Casey saving the day again by way of bonk nice.

This kid has had like 3 panic attacks in one day and this chapter ends with “FUCK. MY SAI.” Perfection I love it /gen

I will repeat what I have said before: AN ACTUAL BABY. HE IS 15 (or 16? I… how old is he during this fic I can’t remember if this has been mentioned-) AND HE IS TINY AND I HAVE A LITTLE SISTER HNGH MUST PROTECT. I have the incredibly strong desire to create a turtle burrito with this kid he is not allowed to be sad anymore it is BANNED. So yeah this is really good so far thank you for the suffering <3

[dilfspitdrinker]

Let The Light In | Joel Miller x f!reader

Description: You’ve been babysitting Joel Miller’s daughter all summer. No matter now much you try to deny it, you know you’re into him. But it’s just a little crush that you thought could never be reciprocated, until one fateful phone call. The shift between you two is irresistible, and you’re in for more than you ever anticipated. A/N: holy shit guys, sorry for the fucking hiatus?? Hopefully the smut in this chapter will make up for it. ITS HAPPENING! EVERYBODY STAY CALM! STAY FUCKING CALM! no guys seriously relax I'm already nervous don't make it a big deal shut up stop laughing. I've been mad busy with lyfe and college lately and had a hard time with this chapter, constantly having to remind myself that I do this FOR FUN and it literally does not matter if it's bad!!! BUT IM LOSING THE IDGAF WAR!!!! anyways enjoy and ily for reading

Warnings/tags: MDNI, oral + fingering (f receiving) (he give me brain like nyu), Joel is a talker, reader likes chocolate, age gap (reader is like 21 and Joel is in late 30s), (no his age doesn't canonically line up with what it should be since Sarah is like 12 here but idgaf)

Masterlist

Chapter 7

Once you woke, it took only a moment for you to recognize Joel’s bed, and your thoughts immediately began racing. You hadn’t slept together, had you? There was no way you’d had enough drinks to have forgotten if that happened, right? A quick flip of the covers revealed you were still in your dress. Guessing that meant no. He wasn’t in bed with you, didn’t look like he’d even been there, the covers on the other side looked quite undisturbed. Confused, you supposed he might’ve woken up before you and made just that side of the bed. Weird, but what other explanation was there?

You quietly followed the same routine as the last time you woke up in Joel’s bed, rushing to the bathroom to check yourself. Even after fixing your hair and dress that had gone askew, the thought of going out there in your little outfit from last night made you cringe. You thought briefly about going back to his room and stealing some of his clothes, just to avoid walking into the kitchen looking like you’d passed out after clubbing or something. After how great your date went, you prayed you hadn’t ruined it by saying or doing anything mortifyingly embarrassing, since you apparently didn’t even remember getting into bed.

You steeled yourself and padded down the hall. Peering around the corner into the kitchen, your voice came out small, “Joel?”

He was sitting at the table, dressed casually, a mug of steaming coffee in hand. A smile spread over his face at the sight of you, “Mornin’ darlin’. You sleep alright?”

“Yeah,” you gingerly sat across from him.

He could see the question in your eyes, and answered it to save you the embarrassment, “I slept on the couch.”

With that revelation, you quickly switched gears. Your tone was devoid of humor, “Are you kidding me?”

He gave you a quizzical look.

“You let me sleep in your bed while you slept on the couch again?”

He laughed you off, but you wouldn’t let him get away with it.

“I’m serious,” you crossed your arms, “Doesn’t matter if I’m here, it’s your own house, you’re sleeping in your own bed.”

“Yes ma’am,” he grinned, taking another sip from his mug.

You glared at him, but the hardness in your face dissolved as soon as he set a cup of freshly brewed coffee in front of you. Despite your outrage at the sleeping situation, Joel’s presence still managed to put you at ease. You’d even forgotten about why the dress thing made you nervous, he was probably enjoying the view.

“What time is it?” you asked between sips. You hadn’t registered the hour on the clock when you’d woken up in your alarmed state.

“Early,” he responded.

You hummed, soothing your mild grogginess with the coffee. You wished you’d slept in just a little more. You wished you’d slept in with Joel. Not ready to back down just yet, you asked sharply, “And how did you sleep?”

He was amused by your stubbornness, “You’re not lettin’ that go, are you?”

“Never.” 

He sighed, “Just didn’t wanna get all up in your business, darlin’.”

You rolled your eyes, “Oh please, you can get all up in my business anytime you want.”

He chuckled, “I’ll keep that in mind from now on.”

You two sat together, finishing off your coffees. Sunlight poured in through the windows, and you silently watched specks of dust float around him like a halo. His eyes still looked heavy with sleep, blinking slowly. More often than not, he would come home fighting exhaustion as he thanked you for watching Sarah. There were a few instances where he paid you a day late, accompanied with a text apologizing profusely for forgetting. You’d always assured him that it was fine, imagining how he must’ve passed out the second his head hit the pillow. In the quiet morning light, you wanted to pull him into bed, cradle his face, soothe the lines etched into his skin. You thought you’d do anything to relieve his stress.

He stood to collect your empty mugs, his broad frame towering over you.

Yes, anything.

You became newly aware of your dress, tugging the hem down a bit. While his back was to you, you cleared your throat, “Sorry for crashing here again.”

“How long ‘fore you learn…” he sighed to himself. He turned and crossed his arms, unexpectedly stern, “Will you quit talkin’ like you’re an inconvenience?”

The hand that fiddled with your dress stilled. You began fumbling through a sort of confession, “Sorry, I just, I don’t want you to think I’m… I don’t know…” You trailed off, unsure of exactly what image you were trying to avoid. Messy? Unpredictable? Opportunistic?

Brows turning up, he spoke, “Sweetheart, whatever it is, you gotta know that I only think good things of you.” He stepped forward and closed the space between you, capturing your face in his hands. He leaned down and kissed you sweetly.

As soon as your lips parted, the words spilled out. “This is gonna sound dumb,” you started, to which he immediately shook his head. You continued, wondering how much dumber you sounded with each word, “I just, I don’t want to do things that’ll make me seem– that’ll make you, like, not take me seriously. I don’t know if that makes sense.”

He pulled out a chair and sat facing you. “Why wouldn’t I take you seriously?”

So he was going to make you say it? You figured you’d have this conversation eventually if this thing was going to continue, but you didn’t expect to find yourself having it here and now. You felt unsteady, despite being seated. Inhaling, you willed your voice to come out stronger than you felt, “Because… I’m younger than you.”

The air stilled as Joel stared at you for a moment, thinking of the most careful way to say he didn’t give a damn about how it looked from the outside. Truly, he was old and gruff and undeserving of you. Indeed, you were young and pretty and lively and smart and giving and everything he fucking needed. He rested his elbows on his knees, leaning forward, “Right. Let’s clear up a few things. First and foremost, I care about your feelings and your wellbeing. If the uh, the age difference is makin’ you uncomfortable or unsure, we don’t have to do this.”

You pursed your lips together, palms feeling clammy. “I know it’s… unconventional, or at least most people would think it is, but I’m okay with it if you are.”

“I’m the same way darlin’. Don’t want you thinkin’ I have a- a thing for young ladies, it ain’t like that. It’s just,” he looked into your eyes, “you.”

You cracked a smile, “Yeah, I’ve never gone after an older man before.”

“I’d hope not. Even most of these grown men ain’t good enough for you.”

You quirked an eyebrow, “And what’s good enough for me?”

“I could be, if you decide to keep me around,” he winked. “But hey, I mean it. If you start feelin’ like this isn’t the right thing for you, tell me. Please.”

You nodded, even though the notion sounded impossible. You wanted Joel with a ferocity unlike anything you’d felt before. Now that you’d had a taste of him, you needed more, even if blindly going after him made you look like a dog chasing a squirrel. For the first time, you wondered what your friends would think of it. Or your parents- would they wonder in bewilderment what had possessed you to seek out a single father? But they didn’t know Joel, you were sure that anyone who stepped into your shoes could understand why this man had you obsessed. Despite your insecurities, you were confident that he would be attentive to your needs. You looked into his eyes intently, “I trust you, Joel.”

He took it as a warning. “I know you do. And I don’t take that lightly.” He shifted in his seat, ruminating on whether you knew what you were getting yourself into. He didn’t want to deny your autonomy, but god, he didn’t want to be the reason you felt trapped down the line. And most of all, if it turned into a burning mess, he didn’t want to get Sarah tangled in it. But the way you were looking at him, those eyes were his weakness. How the hell was he supposed to deny himself of you when you were giving him that goddamn look, eyes revealing that you were so eager to please, dying to be something real to him.

“You check me if I’m outta line,” he poked your nose. The way you scrunched it had him falling faster than he thought possible.

“Oh, that’s my new favorite excuse.” Your voice turned parodic, “Joel, you can’t make me do the dishes, that’s taking advantage of me.”

“God, you’re gonna kill me, girl.” His warm laughter filled the kitchen, filled your heart. He stood, pulled you to your feet and into an embrace. You buried your nose into his neck. His lips pressed a kiss to the crown of your head.

You sighed and mumbled into his skin, “I should probably get going, huh?”

He tutted in disapproval, “Go take a shower. Help yourself to my clothes.”

You pretended to contemplate, then said, “If you insist.”

In the shower, you reflected on last night, and finally recalled falling asleep on top of Joel. He’d probably carried you to bed. You cursed yourself for not being awake to remember the feeling. He’d probably lifted you into his arms like you were made of feathers. You focused on washing your hair to avoid getting too worked up, reaching for Joel’s shampoo yet again. Logically, you understood how one thing lead to another since the last time you did this, but emotionally, you could hardly comprehend how one phone call generated this sequence of events between you two.

The striking sense of deja vu followed your path back into his room. You rooted around his dresser, picking out a T-shirt and sweatpants. Pulling them on, you giggled to yourself, remembering your date banter about him wanting to see you in his T-shirt. You’d obviously meant it in a much less innocent way, but you supposed this counted too. While you were at it, you couldn’t resist the urge to snoop a bit. It seemed like he kept his room tidy, save for a few pairs of socks discarded on the floor. You slid open the nightstand drawer, not expecting much, but found some neatly folded clothes that didn’t look like his. In fact, they looked a whole lot like yours. Pulling them out, you confirmed, they were the clothes you had on the night Joel picked you up. You’d ultimately forgotten to retrieve them. You put them back as they were, deciding that your wardrobe didn’t miss these particular garments that much. But more so, you liked knowing that Joel kept a piece of you here, in his space, close to him.

Upon your return to the kitchen, he smirked at the sight of you, his shirt hanging loosely off your frame. You knew he’d like it. He leaned against the counter, nursing a second cup of coffee, “What you feelin’ like for breakfast, beautiful?”

You shrugged, “Anything.”

“You gotta gimme a real answer, darlin’.”

“Let’s do your favorite, I’ll help you make it.”

“Bacon and eggs it is, then.”

He was about to tell you where the pans and utensils were, but he watched you move around his kitchen with efficiency, already knowing which cabinets to reach for. He loved seeing you be so in your element in his house, like you lived here.

The moment felt insulated from the world. You, swaying slightly as you tended the stove. His hand on the small of your back as he moved behind you.

At some point, Joel snuck in some toast and fruit that you didn’t notice until you sat to serve yourself.

“When did we end up with such a spread?” you asked, baffled.

“When you weren’t lookin’,” he answered with a cheeky grin.

*. * · *. * · *. * · *. * · *. * · *. * · *. * · *. * · *. * · *. * · *. * · *. *

You sat on the couch, struggling to stay focused on an assignment. The minutes crawled by, the afternoon sun casting sidelong shadows of everything in your apartment.

Your eyes lit up when the phone rang, a welcome distraction, and all the more welcome to see it was Joel calling.

You quickly picked up, “Hi!”

“Hey darlin’, whatcha up to?”

“Just finishing up some homework. What about you?”

“Sittin’ here in my empty house.”

“Sarah’s not back yet?” you asked, surprised.

“She was back for a couple hours, then left again to a friend’s house. She’s really been into sleepovers lately.”

“That’s cool,” you tried to sound nonchalant. “So, what, you want me to keep you company?”

He heard your smile through the phone. “You got me there. You can, uh, bring over your work if you’re busy, I don’t mind.”

Your heart tightened knowing that he didn’t mind if your attention wasn’t on him, he enjoyed your presence all the same. You liked the thought of doing your assignments at his place, but you knew you definitely wouldn’t have any hope of concentrating. “I’m almost done with this, let me finish and I’ll be all yours.”

He liked the sound of that a little too much. “Alright darlin’. See you soon?”

“Within the hour.”

“I’m countin’ down the minutes.”

You rushed through the rest of your assignment, crossing your fingers that your professor would get bored halfway through and skim over the drop in quality. You practically threw yourself into your car, only realizing that you hadn’t changed out of Joel’s clothes once you were too far from your street to care. Whatever, as if he would mind.

You arrived at his house, opening the unlocked door with a clammy hand. Here once again, with Sarah gone, just the two of you. After your conversation this morning, you weren’t quite sure where you two were going from here, and you were anxious to find out. You stepped into the living room, not finding him there.

“Hi Joel,” you called out.

You jumped a bit when a pair of large and strong arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you backward into him. His chest was so warm against your back, easing the tension in your spine.

He leaned down and kissed your temple, “Missed you honey.”

“Missed me? I was only gone for a couple hours.”

“Too many,” he mumbled into your neck, planting a kiss there.

Your heart fluttered. You hadn’t expected Joel to be such a lover, already treating you like his one and only.

“Have you eaten, baby?”

“Not since our breakfast.”

“You hungry?”

“I could go for a snack.”

“Then we’ll get you a snack,” he led you by the hand to the kitchen.

You sat yourself on the countertop while he grabbed something from the highest shelf. His shirt rode up a bit, and you got a delicious view of his skin. 

“I hide these up here so Sarah doesn’t get to ‘em,” he pulled out a box of chocolates.

“Ah, secret stash. Should’ve kept it hidden from me too.”

“You’re allowed to know,” he winked.

You reached to grab some, but he intercepted your hand. He held one in front of your face, and after a moment of staring blankly, it clicked, and you promptly opened your mouth.

He smirked, and barely whispered, “Good girl,” but you heard it loud and clear. He popped the chocolate into your mouth. It was dark, you thought you recalled him saying he didn’t like things that were too sweet. You hummed in enjoyment.

You noticed a smudge of melted chocolate residue on the pads of his index and thumb. A devilish idea occurred to you, and you held back a smirk so as to not reveal your plot. Feigning innocence, you took his palm and pulled it to your mouth, closing your lips around his finger.

He froze, eyes locked on your face.

You swirled your tongue around his finger, licking off the chocolate and savoring the taste of his skin under the sweetness.

He slowly pulled his finger from your mouth to replace it with his thumb. His index, still wet with your saliva, curled under your chin, tilting your head up while bringing his thumb up to your lips. Looking at him through your lashes, you sucked off the chocolate, teeth gently grazing the ridges of his fingerprint. He almost wanted to laugh in disbelief, laugh at himself for not giving you enough credit. You devious little thing, you knew exactly what you were doing.

“What game are you playing, hmm?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you narrowed your eyes at him, as if offended by the question.

“I know you want somethin’. What are you tryin’ to get out of me?” He came to stand between your legs, hands planted on the counter at either side of you, caging you in.

“Nothing. Seems like you want somethin’.” Your hands laced together at the back of his neck, drawing him in closer.

His eyes raked down your figure, pupils wide and dark. For the first time, you identified lust in his gaze. You wondered how many times you hadn’t noticed it.

Your lips met in an ardent kiss, and your tongues quickly found each other. His hands roamed your hips and waist, fingers pressing into your soft flesh. You felt the warmth of his skin slide under your shirt, but just barely.

You had him figured out enough. For all his flirting – and much as you wished he’d do as he pleased with you – Joel was too cautious, you’d have to draw it out of him. You nudged his hands to go further up, and with the encouragement, his large palms smoothed over your back– strategically braless.

A groan vibrated in his throat, and he detached his lips from yours just far enough to mumble, “That what you want?”

You looked deep into his eyes, testing the connection, seeing if he could read you.

He could. Like a fucking book. And from that gleam in your pupils, he knew exactly what you needed. He asked in a teasingly coy tone, “Want me to make you feel good?”

You bit your lip and nodded, buzzing with anticipation.

Immediately, he picked you up off the counter, palms spread over your ass and squeezing. Your arms clung to his neck as he carried you to his room.

He laid you on the bed, holding himself over you. His lips trailed from your face, down to your neck, nipping at your collarbone. Once he heard you taking deeper breaths, he leaned away to stand. You propped yourself on your elbows, watching him with curiosity mixed with disappointment. You voiced your dissatisfaction, “Why are you so far?”

Standing above you, he raised a brow. He grabbed your legs from the back of your knees and yanked you to the edge of the bed. You released a small yelp at the suddenness, but it only added to the desire swirling in your stomach.

“Better?” He splayed a large hand on your chest, pushing you back onto the mattress. He kissed a path from your mouth to your ear, and whispered huskily, “Or you want me closer?”

Your hands twisted in his shirt, wanting to pull him against you, but he was moving away again… only to kneel between your legs. He rested his cheek against your thigh, giving you a sultry look.

He toyed with the waistband of the sweatpants. “You look real good in my clothes, baby. Planning on stealin’ these too?”

“I didn’t steal them, just… haven’t given them back.” You could hardly string the sentence together with his knuckles running along your hips.

“Sure. Might as well take them back now,” he started tugging down the sweatpants, “y’know, ‘fore you forget.”

Past your knees, off your ankles, discarded on the floor. His lip curled at the sight of your little blue panties.

His hands slid under your shirt, pushing it up and finding your heated skin. Your heart raced and you clutched the fabric, “I think I wanna keep this on.”

His eyes flickered to yours, “Whatever makes you most comfortable baby. Can I still touch under there?”

“Please,” you nodded. It wasn’t that you felt particularly shy, the truth was, it turned you on more to have Joel doing this while wearing his shirt. It made you feel claimed.

You felt his breath against your thighs as he spoke, “I���ll go real slow baby, you let me know how I’m doin’.”

You nodded, heart racing with anticipation.

“Need you to use your words, baby.”

You swallowed thickly, then found your voice, “I’m ready.”

He looked down at the dark wetness staining your panties. His eyes flicked back up to yours with a smirk, “I can tell.”

He hooked his fingers into the waistband, and slowly, so damn slowly, pulled them down, revealing you to him. You felt his breath against your pulsing heat, “You’re gorgeous baby.”

His hands slid up your thighs, pushing them apart. With each thumb, he spread your pussy lips open. He groaned at the sight, “So pretty baby…”

Gingerly, you threaded your fingers through his hair. He looked up at you expectantly, a small smile on his face that you found reassuring. “Let me take care of you, sweetie.”

You gave him a small nod, and he dipped his head. He licked a thick stripe through your folds, eliciting a whimper from you. It reached a higher pitch when he attached his lips to your clit. Responding to your noises, he devoted his attention to your clit, licking and sucking at a pace that soon had you whining. One of his hands snaked up your torso, under the shirt, until it reached the softness of your breast. His thumb circled your nipple, adding to the warmth pooling in your loins.

He lifted his head briefly to check in, “How you feelin’ honey?”

“Good, keep going,” you rushed out, tugging at his hair.

He chuckled, “Yes ma’am.”

He replaced his tongue with his fingers, sliding two of them up and down through your wetness, circling your clit and teasing your hole.

“Joel, please,” you moaned.

“Please what?”

You whined in response.

“Gotta use your words, baby.”

You tilted your head back onto the pillow, faced with the ceiling. “I need your fingers,” you choked out, cheeks heating at the words.

He hummed, index and middle still giving attention to your clit. “Look at me,” he commanded.

You looked down at him between your thighs, and once your eyes locked, he began pushing in one thick digit. You moaned, eyelids threatening to close, but he captured your gaze again with a low voice, “Keep looking at me darlin', that’s it… good girl.”

Once his finger was up to the knuckle inside you, he started pumping in and out at a measured pace. When he reattached his lips to your clit, your head fell back and a long moan escaped your throat. His tongue swirled ceaselessly around the bud, making your hips squirm.

Slowly, he pulled his finger almost completely out of you, and you felt a second prodding for entry. They pushed in slowly, allowing you to relish the stretch.

“Joel,” you whimpered in a way that had him grinding against nothing. He pumped his fingers at a faster pace, needing to hear his name pass your lips again.

He curled his fingers up, and you clenched around him with a high pitched moan.

“That’s the spot, huh?” He looked up at you mischievously, “Yeah, I know.”

His other hand continued playing with your nipple. With your own hand, you pulled the shirt higher, exposing your plush tits. He suddenly pushed himself up, eagerly attaching his mouth to the swell of your breast. He pressed wet kisses down one side, nipping and sucking just hard enough to leave a few purple marks. His fingers never stopped massaging that perfect spot inside you, rapidly pushing you toward the edge.

“Joel- fuck- ” you panted, “I’m so close.”

He brought himself back down to your pussy, taking in the sight of you dripping around his fingers. He flattened his tongue against your clit, and the sensation made you jerk your hips up.

“That’s right baby, get yourself there,” he rasped.

You gripped his hair, grinding on his tongue. His fingers stroked your g-spot further with every movement. He had you right where he wanted you, thoughts reduced to nothing but his name.

“Joel,” you moaned brokenly, eyes rolling back. Your orgasm rippled through you, had you arching your back and curling your toes.

“So sweet,” you felt him mumble, his lips never breaking contact with your pussy. Like a man starved, he licked you clean, lapping at your juices. You whined every time his tongue brushed over your sensitive clit, hardly allowing you to come down from your high. You tugged at his hair, and he reluctantly lifted his head from between your thighs.

He kissed a trail up your torso, chest, neck, and finally reaching your lips. He kissed you softly, slowly, tenderly. But even through your hazy mind, you dared not think lovingly.

“What about you?” you panted.

He smoothed your shirt down and moved you onto your side, pulling you into his chest. “Don’t worry about me sweetheart.”

“But I wanna return the favor,” you mumbled into his chest.

“You’ll get to another time, I just wanna focus on you.”

You relented without much of a fight, still dazed and sleepy from your high. The steady rhythm of his breathing soothed you.

“I’m gonna fix us some dinner, how about that?”

You made a small noise of disapproval, curling further into his chest. He chuckled quietly, rubbing your back.

Masterlist

[moon3thereal]

I have a request with Nat x reader. It’s a party at the compound and nobody has ever seen Nat drunk but this night she was completely gone like blackout drunk. So you end up having to carry her to her room and take care of her but she accidentally admits her love for you, you end up sleeping on the armchair in the room and in the morning you wake up to a Nat that’s throwing up on the floor, at first she don’t remember shit but later during the day she remembered what she said and gets really flustered and embarrassed but it ends I fluff reader admits her love for Nat to

Title: Drunken Confessions

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: alcohol

a/n: thank you for the request! happy reading <3

1.4k

Everyone knew Tony Stark loved the glamour of his extravagant parties often threw in the Avengers tower. Everyone also knew that while everyone else got batshit drunk, the black widow never got even slightly tipsy after several rounds of drinking games when everyone else was drunk enough to strip to their undergarments and start pole dancing. She always only watched with a hint of amusement glinting in her emerald eyes

That led to the bet going on amongst the other Avengers, Tony threw in a solid 500 dollars to whoever got Natasha drunk while the others put in smaller amounts. Thor had been lurking around with a smug grin for a whole 5 minutes since the party had started, you had no doubt that he’d been up to no good and opted not to touch the alcohol at the bar for tonight.

Spotting a certain redhead, you sidled up to the bar in your new dress that you definitely haven’t bought to impress her and new heels that again, you definitely didn’t buy to awe her. “Someone put in effort for tonight’s party” Natasha said, dropping her gaze to your heels and all the way up until she met your eyes “trying to impress someone?” she winked teasingly. Damn it, were you that obvious “Steve maybe?” she pressed, seating yourself on one of the rotatable, red leather stools you laughed “I don’t swing that way”

Natasha hummed in acknowledgement “me neither” she said. You turned to look at her so quickly that you thought you may have given yourself whiplash “Then…You and Bruce?” you asked cautiously “there’s a reason that didn’t work out” she said, taking a sip of her martini and sending her glass a peculiar look “you’re new?” she asked the bartender “no ma’am I’ve been working here for three years” Natasha’s lips formed into a silent ‘oh’ and you stifled a laugh

After a few more glasses of alcohol, Natasha was clearly very drunk, the rest of the avengers who hadn’t seen Thor’s expression of obvious smugness had drunk the alcohol unknowingly too and Tony and Steve were challenging each other to a dance off. In their boxers. You watched with amusement and second-hand embarrassment. Meanwhile, the Russian that was the heart of all this chaos was standing across the room apparently having an argument with Clint about whether the walls are green or red. The walls are white. Then it suddenly clicked in your mind, the only alcohol that could get her so shockingly drunk, Asgardian liquor

Of course, why hadn’t you thought about it before. Thor was incredibly competitive even if he didn’t look it. You continued sitting aside from all the havoc erupting on the party floor taking tentative sips from the water you’d brought, keeping an eye on Natasha before she does something stupid. Normally that was her job, unbeknownst to you, Natasha always looked out for you during Tony’s parties, knowing your alcohol tolerance wasn’t exactly high.

Glancing at the clock, you could see that it was almost 3 in the morning and the noises had died down and all the Avengers were splayed out on the couch only half awake, Natasha was half laid half seated on two bar stools barely keeping herself upright. Deciding that you really didn’t want her to fall off and give herself a concussion, you tugged at her sleeve “come on Nat, we’re going back to your bedroom” she smirked at you with her painted lips which were normally perfect but tonight, they were slightly smudged, you liked the look on her though

“Bedroom? Getting frisky already y/l/n?” you raised your eyebrows while helping her off the chair and draping your jacket around her shoulders “getting concerned about how drunk you are” you corrected. Natasha hummed and after a few steps let her head slump onto your shoulder, you were half supporting and half carrying her but you were glad she wasn’t sober right now because your heart was probably going a million miles a minute, her hair smelt so nice, her tresses were gently tickling your neck

Caught up in your thoughts you had to abruptly steer Natasha towards her bedroom before she walked directly into a wall. Practically dumping her onto the bed with a huff from the exertion of dragging her all the way back to her room, you pulled off her heels and hung up the jacket “I love y/n, don’t you think she’s just so pretty, she’s so smart too and how she fights, it’s soooo hot” she slurred and your cheeks heated up.

You were ready to dismiss it as a hallucination, you had feelings for the redhead, you’d been harboring them for a good 2 months because you thought they’d never be reciprocated. But Natasha turned to you “do you think she likes me too?” she asked “yeah, yeah I’m sure she does” you whispered. Natasha seemed to hear it, she sighed contentedly and let her eyes close. Making your way out of the room, you heard her say “stay” it was barely a whisper but you heard it and you could never refuse her

So you slumped onto her chair with your chin supported by the heel of your hand just appreciating how gorgeous she looked even blackout drunk, ginger hair all over the place and smudged makeup. It sounded creepy but you were really just taking the advantage of being able to stare at her now before she���s sober again tomorrow and your act of indifference had to come up again.

You didn’t know at what point you fell asleep but you woke up to Natasha rushing to the bathroom and throwing up in the toilet. Hastily pulling her hair back into a ponytail, you rubbed her back in an attempt to soothe her. She glanced up at you when she was done and flushed the toilet “why are you here?” she asked while rinsing her mouth in the sink and holding a hand to her head while wincing. You tried to hide your disappointment, last night it was the alcohol speaking, not her, it didn’t even make sense that she would remember it, really. “you couldn’t stay on your feet on your own, let alone walk back to your room, I wanted to make sure you were okay so I slept in that armchair” you gestured to the armchair at the corner of her room

“You didn’t have to do that” she said “but I’m glad you did, thank you” sending you a tired smile. You squeezed her shoulder “I’m gonna go make some breakfast you want some?” you asked at her doorway “please” she said while removing the makeup from the night before. You nodded and made your way to the kitchen

Once you step foot in the kitchen, you saw Thor with a triumphant smile on his face and the rest of the Avengers grumbling, you slapped a 50 dollar note on the table, shaking your head amusedly as you passed by. Thor’s grin widened further as he stuffed the money into his pocket. There were pancakes in the pan, courtesy of Wanda most probably. You put two each on separate plates, slathering Nutella on yours and drizzling syrup on Natasha’s. you made some coffee and poured out two mugs

When you came back to the table, Natasha was already seated wearing a hoodie, one of yours you realized with a skip of your heartbeat, and sweatpants. Setting the plate and mug of coffee in front of her, you took a seat and dug in.

It was only in the afternoon when you and Natasha were working on reports that her cheeks suddenly went pink and she stared at you with an expression of mortification. You frowned at her sudden distress and walked over to her “what’s wrong?” you asked, genuinely concerned. “last night, what I said, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I didn’t, I mean, I do feel that way, but if you don’t it’s completely understandable and I-” you cut her off by pressing your lips to hers, the feeling of her lips against yours was heavenly, they were soft and tasted like her vanilla and cherry chapstick.

“I love you too” you whispered slightly dazed from the fact that you’d just kissed Natasha and that she hadn’t pulled away “show me how much” she said and kissed you again.

Taglist: @phoenixofash @michelle-dsn @midgardianweasley

[myherowritings]

PART 7. WHAT’S BETTER THAN EATING THE RICH? THE RICH EATING YOU OUT

SUMMARY. Todoroki Shouto was a wealthy, young CEO who inherited his father’s enterprise. You were a barista at a local cafe who wouldn’t mind some extra cash. One day, Shouto came in during an early morning shift and tipped you such a large sum of money, you were certain it had to have been an accident. To your surprise and complete pleasure: It was not.

PAIRING. ceo!todoroki shouto x barista!reader

WORD COUNT. 4.7k

GENRE. ceo/barista au, fluff, eventual smut

WARNINGS. the filthiest thing i’ve ever written, fem!reader for this part and shouto uses “princess” an excessive amount of times, sir kink i’m sorry, cunnilingus, unprotected sex (just bc i totally forgot abt condoms ok my bad), too much foreplay?, shouto’s a soft dom i think?, very much so 18+!!! and the title is exactly what it sounds like

A/N. here we are !! the final part !! my first shouto series i didn’t put on hiatus LMAO,, the moment you’ve all been waiting for HFSJKG ;) this was very fun to write i hope it’s not too bad BHFBDSHS i’m so in love with ceo!shouto and this series was my fav to write in a while!! now without further ado pls enjoy some smut with feelings :3 xx sof

SERIES MASTERLIST

© myherowritings — all rights reserved. reposting, modifying, copying, or translating of any kind is not allowed. do not read my writing as asmr. do not plagiarize.

You almost didn’t make it into the elevator to Shouto’s penthouse before you wanted to pounce on him, but to your complete frustration, he was showing such restraint that the only contact he let you make was holding his hand. 

For someone who was so eager to kiss you earlier, he was showing a lot of patience now, you thought with a huff. 

You tapped your foot against the tile flooring as Shouto took his sweet time unlocking his suite. Even when he entered, instead of taking you straight to the bedroom like you anticipated, he pulled out two glasses and filled them with water. 

Handing you one, he asked, “Did you want something to eat?” 

“No. ‘M not hungry right now,” you mumbled, trying not to appear too pouty. 

Apparently, it didn’t work very well since he stifled an amused chuckle. “How about some water?” 

Your eyes narrowed but you begrudgingly accepted the glass. “Hmph.” 

“Someone seems a little tired right now, hmm?” he placed his glass down and led you towards his bedroom. “Maybe we should go straight to sleep—”

You couldn’t help yourself any longer. “Shouto,” you whined, drawing out the ‘o’ sounds, your lower lip jutting outwards in a frown.

“Yes, Y/N?” His tone was too innocent for the events he had in mind for the night. 

“If you don’t take me to bed and fuck me right now, I’ll…”

“You’ll…?” Shouto teased, but the darkened gaze in his eyes told you his own restraint was wearing thin. 

You turned away with a huff. “I’ll be upset!” 

“Well, we don’t want that.” He laced his fingers through yours, bringing your hands up to his lips to give them a kiss. You were slightly placated, but that was still nowhere near the amount of contact you desired. “But I think you’d find it more comfortable if we continue this with your dress off first. Come.” 

Your stomach clenched at the simple command and you willfully followed behind him into the second door to the right. You hardly had time to admire the design of his room and size of his bed before Shouto moved from his spot next to you to one behind you. He placed one hand on where your waist met your hip and the other on the small of your back, making your spine straighten at the touch. 

“Did you need help taking your dress off?” he asked, knowing full well what the answer would be. 

“Yes, please, sir,” was your airy reply. 

His breath caught in his throat and his grip on you tightened. When he spoke, his voice was hoarser than normal. “Since you asked so nicely.”

So, he liked when you called him sir? You made a mental note of that with a smirk. 

But your cocky expression didn’t last very long when Shouto skillfully unfastened the top few buttons of your dress, softly placing his lips on your now exposed skin and gently planting kisses all the way down your back. He didn’t stop until he reached the curve of your ass, unbuttoning the final button and nipping a kiss right at the base of your spine. You jolted, hugging the fabric of the dress to your chest so you wouldn’t be completely exposed. 

“Finished unbuttoning your dress for you, princess,” he said, placing one final kiss on your spine before gently twirling you around to face him. At your flustered gaze, he smiled. “Now what would you like for me to do to you?” 

You lifted your chin despite your slight embarrassment at having to voice your desires. “I want you to kiss me.”

“Hm. Have I not been kissing you this whole time?” 

“On the lips,” you emphasized, tugging at his tie as you tried to pull him closer to you. You batted your lashes at him. “Could you please kiss me on the lips, sir?” 

A small chuckle escaped him, but he was happy to oblige. “You know, you’d be good in business. You certainly know what to say to get what you want, hmm?”

You answered with a smile as he finally—fucking finally, after a whole week of waiting—pressed his lips against yours. They were soft and warm and tasted like strawberries and ice cream, his favorite flavor of the candies the two of you stole from the gala. 

Delicious. 

Shouto must’ve thought the same thing since, not long after the start of the kiss, he coaxed your mouth open with his tongue, deepening the movements, one hand softly cupping the area where your head met your neck while the other was hot against your exposed lower back. He applied the slightest bit of pressure at the right time—just enough to make you sigh in pleasure. 

Your own hands found a way to tangle themselves in Shouto’s hair, completely abandoning their job clutching your dress to your body. Now, you were so tightly pressed up against him, the only thing that could possibly keep the fabric up was his chest against your own. One sudden movement and it might just…  

He nipped at your lower lip with his teeth and you jumped, gasping at how good the light stinging sensation felt. You felt your dress slip down your body to expose the swell of your breasts, but before it could fall any further, Shouto gingerly picked you up and laid you down on his bed. 

“Oh—” you managed to say as your head landed on a pillow and your back on the plush, silk sheets that covered the mattress.

His left arm rested on the pillow beside your head as he hovered over you. “Have something to say, princess?”

“Y-You may continue,” you sniffed, lifting your chin up. Your heart skipped a beat at the teasing pet name and then another beat when Shouto leaned down to give you a kiss. But instead of landing on your mouth again, he chose to leave an open-mouthed kiss on the sensitive part of your neck, gently biting and sucking at the skin. 

His feathery light touches tickled you, your nerves working on overdrive and every stroke feeling like it was amplified. You couldn’t help but giggle at his soft nibble and he paused to look at you questioningly. 

“Tickles,” you replied, laughing at his confused expression. “But it feels nice.”

Shouto hummed, the vibrations buzzing against your neck. “That’s good to hear.”

Returning to your lips, he kissed you with a smile creeping on his face and you returned it. His forehead rested against yours as you toyed with the fabric on the front of his suit. You unknotted his tie as your lips clashed against each other, the motion no longer soft and gentle but instead more fervent and intense. 

Finally getting his tie to come undone, you flung it off the bed and worked to unbutton his shirt collar, not caring if it got wrinkled in the process. Shouto reciprocated the eagerness by sucking the tip of your tongue with his mouth before pulling away from you completely. 

A whimper left your lips at the sudden loss of warmth and you couldn’t help but pout, grabbing at his shirt again to pull him back.

“Be a good girl and be patient, okay?” he said, running the tip of his index finger against your jawline. 

You huffed. “I’ve been plenty patient. I want you to do something now!” 

In other times, you’d probably be embarrassed about how whiny you sounded, but at this moment all you wanted was for Shouto to finally touch you more. 

He nipped at your collarbone before looking down at you. “Hm. Are you a princess or a brat?”

“I can be both. I’m very multifaceted,” you said haughtily, sticking your tongue out to let him know you were only joking. 

“You are,” he agreed. 

It seemed Shouto decided to finally listen to your pleas since his attention swiftly returned to that of your neck, dragging his lips down until he reached the swell of your breast. Over the fabric of your dress that was barely clinging onto you, he placed wet, open-mouthed kisses over your chest, his teeth accidentally grazing against your nipple. 

You cried out quietly and he felt encouraged by the sound, this time taking your peak into his mouth with purpose. He formed his mouth into the shape of an ‘o’ and softly sucked your nipple, the tip of his tongue making circles around the bud. His saliva wet the fabric of your dress, leaving you to shiver at the cold against your wet breast when he pulled away from you. 

“S-Shouto,” you whimpered, squeezing your legs together to relieve some of the tension. “More.”

“More? What exactly do you mean by that?” 

“I want you to…” You gestured towards your body. 

“To what? Take your dress off and fuck you? Or just continue playing with your breasts?” he asked, listing off suggestions in a low rasp. He kissed below your chest and down your stomach all the way to your navel. “Or maybe you want me to go lower until I reach that pretty pussy of yours.”

You nodded fervidly, not trusting your voice. “A-All of the above?”

He chuckled in amusement but was ready to dutifully continue his work.

“But…” you murmured, running your hands down his half-unbuttoned shirt. “I want to see you too.” You looked down at his crotch area then back at his face, biting your lip nervously. “And I want to make sure you’re also having a good time.” 

A guttural noise sounded from the back of his throat as he ran his hands down your body, giving you an appreciative look. “I’m having the best time.” He kissed you chastely. “Are you?”

You looked like a mess sprawled out on his bed, dress half hanging onto your chest and the fabric of the skirt only covering one of your legs. You didn’t know for sure the state of your hair and makeup, but you were sure it was thoroughly roughed up as well. “I think it’s quite obvious I am, sir.” 

Shouto smirked, caressing your cheek with his knuckles. “Good.” 

Instead of answering him, you brought your fingers to the lower-half of his shirt, unfastening the final buttons and untucking it from his suit pants. His shirt hung open, exposing his lean yet muscular torso. You ran your hands up and down his chest and abdomen, absentmindedly brushing against his nipples which caused him to shiver. When you reached his collar, you threw the fabric behind his shoulders and he got the message to take his shirt off. 

“So pretty,” you whispered breathlessly.

“Your turn.” Slowly, Shouto slid down the silky fabric that was just barely covering your breasts all the way to your navel. He tapped your thigh and said, “Up,” and you immediately obliged, lifting your lower body up so he could remove the dress completely. 

Taking his sweet time—much to your frustration—he folded the dress and placed it on a dresser near his bed. When he turned his gaze back to you, you were holding your arms over your chest, feeling bare in nothing but your panties with sheer detailings. 

His stare burned holes into you. You felt like his gaze was leaving a trail of fire against your skin. Shouto’s expression looked sensual but soft as he admired you, giving you enough confidence to lay your arms down by your sides instead of over your chest. He zeroed in on your breasts as he gave them a kiss. 

“Beautiful,” he whispered and your cheeks burst into flames. Your whole body felt hot as you folded one leg over the other so he couldn’t see the arousal gathering at your thin undergarments.

Noticing the movement, he raised a brow at you and uncrossed your legs with his large but slender hand, his grip firm on your thigh to prevent you from covering yourself like that again. Shouto pressed one of your thighs into the bed with his palm, and your other thigh with the gentle weight of his knee, holding your legs open for him. 

The cool air from his room hit your wetness seeping through your underwear and you felt yourself clench around nothing. 

You shifted under his weight, desperate for some release. “Shouto, please.”

It seemed he no longer had the restraint to tease you further since he nodded, moving lower down the bed so his face was hovering above your clothed pussy. “May I?” 

“Fuck— Yes,” you moaned, core heating up in anticipation. 

Shouto landed his lips on your fabric-covered cunt, licking a stripe across your slit. Your growing arousal mixed with his spit through your panties, a lewd noise sounding when he pried the fabric away from your pussy. He slid them off your legs, holding it up to examine the arousal slick on the garments. As if he had no shame, he politely folded it and placed it on top of your dress with a smile. 

“T-That’s not what a gentleman would do,” you managed as he returned to his position in bed in front of your now-bare cunt. 

“And what is it that a gentleman would do, princess?” he whispered dangerously close to your most intimate parts. “This?”

Without warning, he tenderly kissed the bud between your legs. You moaned, legs attempting to kick out in surprise and pleasure, but they remained immobile since Shouto held them down in place. 

“Or perhaps this?” Shouto ran his tongue down your folds and back up to your clit, rubbing small and steady figure eights against the sensitive nub. 

“Yes!” you cried out, canting your hips towards his mouth in pleasure. “Oh, god— Yes to all of it. Please… Don’t stop.” 

“I won’t.” He hummed as he continued his ministrations on your pussy, the vibrations shooting right up your core and causing more wetness to seep out onto his face, but he didn’t let that bother him. In fact, it only seemed to encourage him further. 

Not removing his mouth from your clit for even a second, Shouto hooked one of your legs over his shoulder while leaving the other flat against the silky sheets of his mattress. He dragged his opened mouth down to your dripping pussy lips and entered into your slit with his tongue. The new position sent ever more waves of euphoria through you and Shouto licked and sucked at your folds. 

You lifted your hips higher and he nuzzled his head deeper, his tongue reaching places you had only ever imagined. The lewd noises of Shouto’s mouth smacking against your slick cunt filled the quiet room. As you moaned, your hands threaded themselves into the base of his hair, lightly tugging him even closer than either of you thought possible. 

With his hand that wasn’t holding your thigh down, Shouto found his way to your chest, reaching up to palm at your breast all while still sucking your pussy. He flicked your nipple and gently rubbed it with his thumb and forefinger. Your breathing hitched at the mix of sensations, your core tightening and heating up as Shouto continued to eat you out. “Fuck— Oh— Shouto!” you cried, unable to hold back the volume of your voice. 

As if he knew what was coming, he removed his hand from your breast and briefly paused, though his face was still resting against your thigh and pussy. “Not yet, princess. Do you think you can hold on for me?” 

You whimpered at the thought of postponing your release, but you trusted that he would make up for the wait. “Okay, sir. For you.”

“That’s my good girl.”

Shouto continued his attack on your cunt with his lips, this time bringing his hand down to rub lazy circles around your clit. His tongue was deep in you, his nose teasingly bumping against your sensitive bud as his fingers flicked against it harsher. Rougher. He nuzzled his head from side to side to hit places far within you as you whimpered and moaned. 

The stimulation of both his fingers and his mouth on your pussy was almost too much to handle as your thighs quivered and your cunt clenched uncontrollably. 

“S-Shouto, please I—” Your voice broke off as a moan of pleasure ripped through you. 

“You can come now, princess,” he murmured into your folds, the vibrations only pleasuring you even further. 

And so you did. 

You felt yourself orgasm as Shouto continued to suck at your cunt and brush against your clit, moving slower and more gently as you came down from your high. 

When he finally looked up from your pussy, the lower half of his face glistened with your fluids, sending you into another state of desire. There was something about the way he looked at you that made you want more of him. 

Shouto smiled as he wiped the fluids of your arousal and ecstacy on his chin with his index finger. Instead of taking it into his mouth, however, he held it in front of your lips. “Look at the mess you made for me, princess. See how good you taste.” 

After only a moment’s hesitation, you brought his finger that was coated in your arousal into your mouth, swirling your tongue around and sucking him, giving him an idea of what you would do if that were his cock. You released his finger with a soft ‘pop’ and smiled innocently at him. 

“Are you going to fuck me now or should I suck you off first, sir?” you asked, tone of voice all too pleasant. 

His bulge strained against the snug fit of his pants and you wanted nothing more than to relieve some of his pressure. “You’ll have plenty of opportunities to take my cock into your mouth, but right now I just want to feel you around me. Is that okay?” 

“That’s fine with me!” You nodded eagerly, the thought of being filled up with Shouto now taking over your mind completely. 

He chuckled at your excitement, though he was feeling the same thing himself. Swiftly, he removed his belt and took off his suit pants. You helped by tugging his black boxer briefs down and watching gently stroking his erect shaft in awe. 

Was every part of Shouto pretty? He was just a gift that kept on giving. 

Your mouth almost watered in anticipation, biting your lip as he lowered you back against the mattress, your head falling onto the plush pillows. He positioned his member against your slit that was still dripping wet from his spit and your first orgasm. 

Shouto rubbed his tip against your already sensitive clit and your slightly parted folds, not yet entering deep enough to satisfy you. He moved his cock back and forth against your pussy as you both watched, the fluids of your arousal and his mixing for further lubrication. Your eyes were fixated on the sight, the thick head of his member disappearing into your sopping pussy lips before coming back out, slowly getting you prepared for his full length. 

It was sweet of him to be so patient, but you were on the verge of tears at the frustration you felt. “Please, Shouto! More.” 

“What should you call me again, princess?” he drawled, continuing the leisure movements of rubbing his head against your lips. The fluids smeared all over your pussy and dribbled down onto your thighs and his bedsheets. If you weren’t so aroused, you might’ve been a bit embarrassed. But there was no time for that when all you wanted at this very moment was for Shouto to fuck you silly. 

“Sir—!” you corrected yourself in a whimper. “Please, sir, I want your fat cock to fill me up.” 

He groaned at your words, pulling out of your folds until only the very tip of his dick was touching you and then thrusting forward into your wet depths as you let out a loud cry of pleasure. You felt a stretch inside you as you adjusted to his length, Shouto taking note of how you stiffened and giving you time to get more comfortable. 

He began to nibble at your breast, sucking and biting your perk nipples as your arousal built. He nipped you, causing you to gasp in surprise (a very pleasant surprise) before soothing the bite with his tongue. As you arched your back, he swirled the tip of his tongue around your nipple and you hooked your leg around his hips, pushing into his lower back with your calf to signal for more.

“Ready now?” 

You nodded fervently. 

“Words, princess.”

“Y-Yes, sir,” you managed, voice shaky from your gratification being filled by Shouto. “Use my pussy to make you feel good. Please.”

“You always make me feel good, Y/N,” he said sincerely, removing his mouth from your breast to kiss you on the lips. Your tongues intertwined and you tasted yourself on him. “You’re amazing, you know?” 

You smiled into the kiss. “Show me how amazing you think I am with your cock then.”

“Anything for my princess.”

With that, he pounded into you, holding you at the waist to steady your squirming. You hitched your leg higher and higher around his back, canting your hips to let him thrust into you at deeper angles until he hit the spot. 

“Oh—! Oh, god,” you mewled in satisfaction, his cock making you feel so good you were certain your eyes almost rolled back into your head. “Fuck, right there, Shouto— Yes!” 

At your vocal encouragement, Shouto pushed into you even deeper, his swollen tip rubbing into you at the perfect angle. Your head lolled to the side and your cheek pressed against the soft pillow as you salivated at the intense feeling of his cock thrusting in and out of your weeping pussy. 

“Mn,” he made a noise, softly tapping your cheek. “Keep your eyes on me, princess. Don’t look away.” 

You struggled to blink away how dazed you felt, feeling so good it was almost unbearable. Somehow, you managed to turn your head back to face him, trying to hold eye contact. “‘M sorry. You feel so good,” you sighed contentedly. “Like your cock was made for me.” 

He held your leg higher and you just about screamed from pleasure. “You feel so good too,” he said, one hand stretching your leg up and the other reaching down to toy with your clit. “Never want this to end.” 

With his fingers and thumb rubbing against your clit and his member hitting your g-spot, you were certain your throat was going to grow hoarse by the end of the night from all your screaming. You swore you saw stars.

“Want to,” you panted, thrusting your hips up to match his movements, “do this...with you...every...day.” 

“Please.”

When his lips found your breast again to tug at your nipple, you couldn’t help yourself any longer. 

“S-Shouto, I— I’m going to come,” you told him, voice pleading. You really hoped he let you come. 

He hummed in agreement. “Me too. Come with me, princess.” 

You lifted his head from your breasts to meet your mouth, kissing into him as you both felt the sweet release of pleasure coursing through your bodies, all the way from the top of your head to the curl of your toes. 

His pace slowed as he carried the two of you through your highs. Shouto removed his finger from its position of making circles onto your clit to let you cool down with him. In a state of euphoria, you kissed him, both of you riding your orgasms until you felt nothing but completely happy and thoroughly satiated. 

Still not taking his lips off of yours, he moved from being on top of you to lying beside you. Your eyes fluttered shut even as you kissed, nuzzling into his hot, sticky body and ready to pass out. 

“‘M sleepy,” you mumbled onto his lips. You just wanted to stay like this. Forever if you could. 

Shouto smoothed down your brow, his thumb moving in gentle strokes. “Let’s get you cleaned up first, princess. Then you can sleep.”

The rational part of you knew it would be best to clean up. But your overwhelming desire was simply to never let go of him. “Wait! I still want you.” Lazily, you murmured, “Let’s do it again.”

“You’re about to fall asleep but you want to have another round?”

You nodded. “I...might fall asleep during it, but yes. Want to do it with you again and again.”

Shouto smiled, shaking his head in amusement. But you pouted. It wasn’t a joke, you meant it. You just wanted to stay by his side. 

“We can,” he said and you instantly brightened up, “another day.” You huffed. “When you can stand on your own two feet without falling over.”

Your lower lip jutted out in a frown. 

“Don’t look so down, princess.” He kissed the top of your head. “It can be tomorrow or the next day.”

Slowly, you perked up again. “Or the day after that? And the next day after that?”

With a laugh, he nodded. “Anytime you want me. I’m yours.”

“I’ll always want you, Shouto,” you told him sincerely, gazing into his eyes.

His face was colored a light pink, his hair plastered to his forehead, and his lips were swollen and bright red. He looked beautiful. It was a sight you’d never tire of.

“I’ll always want you too, Y/N. More than anything. I...love you.”

And in that moment, there was nothing else in the world you would rather hear. No one else you’d rather be with. You were happy to have Shouto and that was better than all the money in the world.

“I love you too.”

— ✩ —

A few days have passed since the fateful night you exchanged ‘I love you’s with Shouto and now you were back at work. 

As usual, you were working the morning shift with some cranky customers, trying your best to make the start of their day go as smoothly as possible. And, as per usual, Shouto walked into the cafe a few minutes after rush hour to spend a part of his morning with you.

“Good morning, sir. How can I help you today?” you said teasingly, giving him a brief kiss over the counter, chaste enough that no one else would notice but you two. 

“Morning, princess.” He smiled. “I’ll have a medium flat white, please.” 

“Of course. And could I interest you in some of our fresh pastries?” you laughed. “Oddly enough, we have your favorite today.”

He perked up at your words. “Cheese danishes?” 

“Yup!”

“I’ll have five boxes of a dozen, please.”

Humming to yourself, you entered his order into the register and told him the price. “Your order will be to your left when it’s completed,” you recited, knowing he’s heard this plenty of times before. After he paid and got ready to walk away from the counter, you playfully called out, “So, no tip this time?”

Shouto smirked, glancing back at you with a teasing glint in his eyes. “Maybe I can pick you up tonight and give you a tip then.”

“A...tip?” you asked, stifling a giggle behind your hands. “Was that an innuendo?”

“Innuendo—?” A look of realization crossed his face and his cheeks colored. 

You grinned to yourself. As confident and well put together Shouto could be (which you very much enjoyed and found incredibly attractive), you also got extreme pleasure in seeing him blush and grow flustered. 

“No�� I didn’t intend it like that.” He paused, thinking on it. “Well, I guess I did. But I didn’t mean to make a pun of it…”

Your laughter rang out across the whole store, smile spreading bigger and bigger. “You’re cute, Shouto. Thanks for the laugh.” 

He looked sheepish but nodded. “Thanks for letting me hear your laugh. It’s radiant.”

“Smooth talker.” You stuck your tongue out. 

“Just the truth.”

“Hmm,” you sighed happily, a feeling of contentment and euphoria settling within you. “But about your tip…”

Shouto blushed. 

“I’d love to come over tonight,” you told him. “Any excuse to see my lovely boyfriend.”

“You never need an excuse to see me. Because I always want to be with you too.” 

The two of you kissed again, unable to help yourselves. Though it was brief and light, it still sent tingles down your spine. 

Shouto was sweeter than any cheese danish or chocolate croissant you could ever make, better than any tip you could ever receive, and you couldn’t wait to continue your life with him. 

a/n: omg...this is the end ╥﹏╥ thank you to every who read and commented and sent asks and just supported this series in general ! it was very fun to write and i have a toothache from all of shouto’s sweetness and fluff hfjhggg tysm for reading ily !! xx sof 

[sergeantsporks]

Here’s to Friendships That Were Never Real

Teen

Gen

Most of the Guardians enjoy having their memories back Douxie rather wishes he didn't have to remember the worst 18 hours of his life, and all the different kinds of betrayal he endured.

Ao3

When the memories returned, everyone was happy.

Everyone remembered what heroes they were.

They remembered Toby’s sacrifice, Jim’s choice.

They remembered valiant deeds, a harsh battle, a tough time.

They remembered pain, but more importantly, they remembered the victory.

That wasn’t how Douxie remembered it.

Douxie remembered pain and torture. Douxie remembered heartache, and loss. Douxie remembered fear.

But most of all, Douxie remembered betrayal.

Douxie remembered being locked up by the order, expecting his friends to come save him.

Only for them to never arrive.

And of course, that was the practical option. The safe option. That was, of course, the right choice. One wizard for the fate of the world? It was hardly worth it. One life, stacked up against all other lives? Laughable. But still…

Douxie had risked the fate of the world to save them.

Douxie had died to save them.

Apparently, they hadn’t thought he was worth the effort to reciprocate.

And then when he was back?

Was it really any better?

Did anyone even care, did anyone even notice that he’d been hurt? They hadn’t asked if he was okay. Just where Nari was, what Nari had said while she was in his body. Did they even care what had happened to him? No. Sure. World in danger. Find out where Nari was. That was… that was fair, that was logical. It was more important than how he felt.

It still hurt.

Maybe if they’d pulled the knives out of his back, they would have had enough weapons to defeat the order.

Friends never arriving.

Friends leaving.

Charlemagne was Archie’s father. Of course he wouldn’t want to leave him. Of course—Charlemagne was Archie’s family. Of course he’d choose to stay with him.

It was just that Douxie had thought he was family, too.

But apparently not.

He remembered falling from the sky, again, and there was no one to help him. He’d had to save himself. Do it alone.

Alone.

Apparently that was what he was.

He’d thought, maybe, that these people cared about him. He cared about them, he cared so much, he thought his heart might burst. Maybe he’d been projecting his own love back. Maybe he’d thought they cared because he cared. Maybe he’d been reading the situation wrong the whole time.

And now? Now they were all laughing, all hugging, and glad to get their memories back.

Glad that things were back to the way they were.

Douxie slipped away, wandering through the streets of Arcadia. They hadn’t noticed when he was hurting then, and they didn’t notice now.

There had been one person who’d put Douxie above the greater good.

One person who had valued Douxie above his own life.

Maybe the one thing this time travel had fixed.

If the erased events had taught Douxie anything, it was that there was apparently only one person he could trust.

One person who had cared enough about him to make an effort.

Douxie stopped in front of a bookstore, his hands shaking as he opened the lock with magic, like he had a hundred times before. He held his breath as he walked in.

Empty.

Dark.

Abandoned.

What had he been expecting? Douxie’s shoulders sank, and he felt tears start to well up in the corners of his eyes.

“Hisirdoux?”

Douxie whirled around to see him standing there, in all of his armored glory, as grouchy and old as when Douxie had last seen him.

“What are you doing here? I should think you’d be celebrating the return of your memories, as all of your frie—”

Merlin broke off as Douxie stumbled into him, sobbing. The master wizard put one hand on his head, letting him cry into an uncomfortable, metal shoulder. “Oh, Hisirdoux. What has happened to you?”

“I d-don’t want to see them,” he choked, “I thought—but then—and even Archie—I don’t…”

His emotions were a jumbled mess. He wanted to see them—but he didn’t. He loved them, and he hated himself for loving them, hated himself for caring so much about people who didn’t care back, and if he could just stop caring, it would be okay, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t stop caring, and caring while knowing that they didn’t care made it so much worse.

“Then you don’t have to. I do not know what happened in the time after my demise, but if you wish to stay here with me, you are welcome. Master wizard.”

Merlin waved a hand, and the door to the back sprang open. The cot Douxie had left there was replaced by a bed, and warm lights flickered on.

Douxie shuffled inside. “And—if the others come—”

“If you do not wish to see them, I will not let them in. You have my word.”

Douxie collapsed on the bed, more tired than he thought he’d be. Merlin quietly shut the door, and Douxie flopped backwards, one arm over his eyes. He’d have to face them eventually.

But not tonight.

Xxx

Claire slammed a fist on Merlin’s door. Archie hadn’t wanted to come with—she wasn’t sure why, but the familiar had looked awfully dodgy and guilty about it. “Hey! Open up!”

The door opened just a crack. “Why hello, Miss Nunez. I trust you have a reasonable explanation for why you’re attempting to break down my door at his hour?”

“Where’s Douxie?!”

“Oh, finally noticed he’s missing, have you? He doesn’t want to see you.”

“Doesn’t want to—” Claire sputtered, “Liar! We’re his friends, and we know you have him! Let us see him!”

“As I said, he does not wish to see you. Good day.”

Merlin closed the door.

Claire kicked it down. “What are you doing to him?”

Merlin thumped his staff on the ground. “As of a few moments ago, I believe I was allowing him to sleep in. Perhaps you’ve missed your recommended eight hours, and that is why you seem a touch unreasonable.”

Jim put a hand on Claire’s shoulder. “We’re just… worried about him is all. He left last night, and we haven’t seen him since.”

“Oh, it’s far too late for you to worried about him now. As I said, Hisirdoux does not wish to see you. Kindly exit my shop before I am forced to take action.”

Claire heard a slight creak, and she peered around Merlin to see a door to the back open just a crack, a pair of golden eyes peering out of it.

“Douxie!”

The wizard shuffled out into the open, looking like he’d gotten caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing. “Oh. Hey.”

Something about him was off, something about the way he wouldn’t look Claire in the eye. “We… just wanted to check on you. Make sure you were okay.”

He still wouldn’t look at her. “Yeah. I’m fine. You can go.”

Claire hesitated. “Douxie, are you… are you sure? Merlin said—”

“Merlin was right,” Douxie said in a small voice, keeping his master in-between himself and Claire, “I don’t want to see you. Please go.”

Suspicion swept over Claire, and she turned to Merlin. “What are you doing to him? Some kind of control?!”

“I assure you, Lady Claire, I am doing nothing of the sort. Hisirdoux simply does not want to see you. Neither do I, really, so if you would kindly walk out of that door—”

“Liar!” A knife of shadows materialized in Claire’s hand, and she leveled it at Merlin. “Let him go!”

Merlin’s eyes flashed, and his staff started to glow. “Careful, Miss Nunez. You may have learned shadow magic, but I still have centuries of experience on you.”

“We’ll see.”

“Stop!”

Claire and Merlin both stopped glaring at each other to turn to see who’d spoken. Jim shook his head. “Both of you. Quit fighting. Claire, if Douxie says he doesn’t want to see us…”

Claire turned back to Douxie. “But why?” she pleaded, “What’s wrong, Douxie? Did we do something?”

Douxie’s eyes flashed blue, and he slammed his fist down on the table. “What’s wrong?! What’s wrong is that you left me with the order. What’s wrong is that even when they were torturing me, you didn’t come for me. What’s wrong is that you didn’t care about what I went through!”

His eyes were completely blue, and small items were starting to float. Claire took a step back. “…Douxie? I… I’m sorry, we didn’t know—”

Douxie collapsed to his knees with a pulse of blue magic shooting out. It didn’t do much—just gave Claire a headache. “BUT YOU DIDN’T BOTHER FINDING OUT, DID YOU?!”

Glowing blue tears ran down his cheeks.

“You just… didn’t care enough, I guess.”

The maelstrom of blue magic surrounding Douxie was getting wilder and wilder, items swirling around like a tornado.

“You left me.”

“Oh, now you’ve done it,” Merlin muttered as the magic started to spread further and further out from Douxie. “Hisirdoux, wait—”

“Douxie, we’re sorry,” Jim tried.

Another blast of magic shot out of their friend, and this one threw everyone back, including Merlin. “SORRY ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH,” he howled.

The world turned a blinding flash of blue, and when Claire blinked the spots out of her eyes, Douxie was gone.

Xxx

Douxie curled into a ball, in the alley next to Benoit’s. His magic was still fluctuating wildly, making things in the alleyway fly around or light on fire at random.

Sorry isn’t good enough.

How was someone supposed to make up for stabbing you in the back?

How did you just say “sorry” for the way you abandoned someone like that fixed everything?

How could you just FORGIVE someone for not caring enough, for staying willfully ignorant of what you’d gone through?

Because he wanted to forgive them.

But he wanted to stay mad.

He wanted them close again.

But he wanted them to stay away.

He loved them.

He hated them.

He needed them.

He shouldn’t need them.

They’d abandoned him.

They were sorry.

But were they really, actually sorry? Did they actually care, or was he just another item on a checklist—restore memories, check on Douxie, feed the cat.

Something jumped down into the alleyway next to him.

“I know I’m probably the last person you wanted to see,” Archie’s voice said.

Douxie looked up to see his familiar awkwardly pawing at the ground. He turned away.

“You don’t have to forgive me for what I did. I left you. I should have been by your side, I should have been the one to stick with you through thick and thin. And I didn’t.”

Douxie didn’t respond. A glass bottle exploded.

“It was just… when I saw my dad, about to be trapped in the Troll Market, I panicked. I thought “this is it, if I don’t do something now, I’ll lose him forever.” And I made a choice. A bad one. And then in the next hour until Jim reset time… I regretted that choice, Douxie. I spent every second after wishing I was with you instead. That I’d flown out. I would have missed my dad. But in that hour, I found that I would miss you more.” Archie sighed. “I know you’re angry. And you should be. And I don’t deserve your forgiveness—none of us deserve your forgiveness. I made a bad choice, and I… I hurt you. And I can’t fix that. I can’t erase what happened—well, I supposed Jim technically did, but you see my point. I just wanted to let you know that… leaving you was the worst decision of my life. And if you never want to see me again… then that’s what I deserve. I chose to never see you again, and it’s only fair if you want to return the favor. I’m sorry, Douxie.”

Archie turned to go, and for the first time, Douxie reached out and picked him up, hugging him. His familiar tensed, unused to Douxie initiating the contact, but then rubbed against his chest. “I’m sorry, Douxie. I’m so, so, sorry.”

Douxie wiped at his eyes. His magic had finally settled down. “It’s okay.”

“No. It’s not okay what I did. But… I’d be honored if you’d let me stay with you anyway.”

“Always.” Douxie scratched behind Archie’s ears. “But I… I can’t stay here. I need time. To process. And… I can’t keep seeing them. I just… I can’t.”

Archie purred. “The world is much bigger than Arcadia Oaks. We can go anywhere you like, Douxie, you pick where.”

Douxie wrinkled his nose. “Just promise me one thing?”

“Name it.”

“We’re not traveling on any trains.”

[babymetaldoll]

As long as you are safe (Spencer Reid/ Reader)

Requested: Yes: could i request a spencer x reader where she’s on the team and she ends up sacrificing herself for him and she gets hurt because of it. and can it end fluffy cause i don’t think i can take a non happy ending! 

Summary: People say “I would die for you” a lot, but never actually mean it. She never said it, but she was willing to take a bullet for Spencer Reid if she had to.   

Warnings: Angst, fluff

Pairing: Spencer Reid / Reader

Word count: 2K

A/N: This is my first angst request, so bear with me, ok? 

Masterlist 

.

Nothing had ever hurt so much. But it didn’t matter to (Y/N). Spencer was safe, that was all she cared about. 

- “Pressure dropping”- one paramedic warned and kept checking (Y/N)’s vitals- Stay with me- he looked at her right into the eyes- I need you to stay awake, ok?

- “She’s hypoventilating”- someone else warned 

- “Come on (Y/L/N)”- Morgan held her hand as he rode with her to the hospital- “Come on pretty girl, hold on”. 

- “She has to be taken to the ER now!”

Derek was sent with her in that ambulance, Reid wanted to go instead, but he was a nervous wreck, he was no help at all. No one had ever seen him lose it before, not the way he had when he saw (Y/N) bleeding next to him. 

It all happened too quickly. And it felt it was all his fault. 

He could see the moment she got shot, repeating in his mind, over and over again, the whole drive to the hospital: The unsub was right in front of him, he was sure their job was done. Derek was already handcuffing him when Reid felt (Y/N) jump on him and push him to the ground at the sound of a gunshot. 

Spencer shook his head and tried to wipe off the tears from his cheeks, as the image of that specific fragment of his life kept coming back. But the tears kept falling, and he couldn’t stop sobbing. 

He should have seen it. He should have foresighted the idea of a second unsub, an accomplice… it was now too clear, but also, it was now too late. 

Reid quickly grabbed his gun and shot the killer right in the middle of the forehead. But he didn’t care about him that second, he did it out of instinct, all he could think about was (Y/N). He quickly crawled by her side and started yelling for a doctor. 

- “I’m ok silly”- she whispered and tried to calm him down. She was lying, and he knew it. It was frustrating how even bleeding on the floor, she would always try to make him feel better. 

- “Shhh, come on, stay with me, stay with me, (Y/N)”- Spencer was trying to keep her awake, but it wasn’t working, (Y/N) was bleeding out too fast, even when Reid kept pushing his hands against the wound on her chest. 

- “You are ok, that’s what matters”- she whispered and made her best to smile, but she couldn’t, her eyes shut, and Spencer lost it. 

- “No! no! no! no! (Y/N)!! (Y/N)!!”

Medics took her from the ground and onto the ambulance, as Derek held Spencer back. He was sobbing and yelling, no one had ever seen him like that. He blamed himself and if anything happened to (Y/N), he was never going to forgive himself. He couldn’t pull himself together for a second.

That’s why Hotch took him to the SUV and asked Morgan to go with (Y/N). Reid yelled and argued, he didn’t want to leave her side, but he was forced to. It felt it was a movie, it was… wrong, everything was wrong. An hour ago they were laughing in the same car he was now sitting in. And now… now he might never see her again. Now the last thing he had said to her was “Stay with me”, and if she didn’t, Spencer didn’t know how he was going to survive.

Reid loved (Y/N) more than he actually loved himself. But never said a word about his feelings. He was sure she knew and didn’t reciprocate them, so he settled for best friends, and that was ok, he was happy that way. But now, suddenly it hit him: she might die, and he might have never told her how he really felt. If he did, he might even get a chance to be happy, and he had been wasting his time, all because he was afraid. (Y/N) wasn’t afraid when she jumped to save him, even if that meant getting shot. Why should he be scared? why was he allowing himself to be so afraid? 

.

- “Spence, listen to me”- JJ tried to talk to him, but he was lost in thoughts, standing in the hall of the hospital, waiting for any news from (Y/N). His friend stood in front of him and rubbed her hands on his arms, trying to comfort him, but all she managed was to make him flinch. He wasn’t good with physical contact, everybody knew that, but after all those years, you could think he was going to be able to be comfortable with his friends. Apparently, he wasn’t. Or maybe, it just wasn’t the right time.  

- “You should get some rest”- he shook his head and kept looking at the door, waiting for a doctor, anyone that might tell him (Y/N) was ok, that it was nothing, just a scratch, that she was going to be ok in a day or two. 

- “Reid, you have to rest, there's nothing you can do standing here”- JJ insisted, but the look in Spencer’s eyes was a dagger. She knew he could be cruel when hurt, and maybe it was better to let him alone for a moment. Penelope walked over and gave him a cup of coffee. She didn’t say a word, just smiled and saw him thank her with his eyes. JJ nodded and walked back to the waiting room with the rest of the team. 

(Y/N) didn’t see her whole life pass flash before her eyes. She just remembered a loop of her favorite moments with Reid ‘cos that was what she wanted to hold onto. She knew what she had done, and she knew she could die. But she didn’t care. She honestly didn’t care, as long as he was ok. That was how much she loved him, and she was hoping if she died, he could understand it. 

People say “I would die for you” a lot, but never actually mean it. She never said it, but she was willing to take a bullet for him if she had to.  

Rossi looked at Hotch sitting next to him, and he could read it on his friend’s face there was something he was hiding, maybe not to worry the team even more. If possible. 

- “What aren’t you saying?”- he asked and watched the team leader close his eyes. In that job, you get used to pain, but nothing prepares you for these kinds of situations. 

- “I spoke with one of the paramedics that brought her in, it doesn’t look good” 

Waiting was agony. Emily kept walking around the room, trying to keep herself busy just moving. Morgan, JJ, and Penelope sat together, in silence. They were repeating in their heads over and over again everything was going to be ok, that (Y/N) was tough. She was, but… they all knew it was a hard thing to recover. 

.

After four hours in surgery, a doctor walked out. Spencer nearly jumped and looked at him, hoping he was there to give him some good news. 

- “(Y/N) (Y/L/N)?”

- “Yes!”- the whole team walked over quickly. All of them looking weary after a whole night awake. 

- “The bullet went in her chest and ricocheted into her abdomen… it was hard, she lost a lot of blood, and we almost lost her, but we were able to repair the injuries”. 

- “Is she going to be ok or not?”- Spencer snapped at the doctor, and Derek quickly put a hand on his shoulder, to calm him down. 

- “One centimeter over and it would have torn right through her heart”- Spencer wasn’t breathing- “But happily, she is going to be ok, and she will be able to leave in a couple of days”

The way Spencer sighed relieved could never be described. He felt the weight of all the books in the world had been taken off his chest. 

- “When can I see, I mean, when can we see her?”- Reid asked and reformulated his question not to look as desperate as everybody knew he was.  

- “She needs to rest, you can see her in the morning…” 

- “Is there any chance I can stay with her tonight?”- he asked and the doctor looked at him confused- “I think someone must be here when she wakes up”

- “Are you family?”- she felt like family, but technically, he wasn’t. The doctor sighed and nodded- There’s nothing comfortable to sleep on in the ICU

- “I don’t care, I’m not gonna sleep”. 

The team hugged Spencer on their way out and promised to come back early morning. Then, he walked into (Y/N)’s room, and tears blurred his vision. She was pale, asleep, looking dead. His jaw tightened as he stood next to her. He was afraid to touch her, afraid he could hurt her, so he just ran his thumb on her hand and bit his lips, trying not to make a sound. 

- “I’m so sorry”- he whispered and just stood there, looking at her for a few minutes. He knew it was a miracle that she was still there with him, and he wasn’t going to waste any more time. He wanted to share his life with her. 

.

When (Y/N) woke up, in the most excruciating pain she had ever felt, the first thing she saw was Spencer’s messy hair resting by her side on the bed. He was sitting on a tiny chair - that looked incredibly uncomfortable- and he had fallen asleep with his head on the bed. She smiled - even that hurt a little- and made his best to move slowly her hand to him and run her fingers through his hair. After a few seconds, he opened his eyes, confused, and looked at her. 

- “(Y/N)”- he whispered and she nodded

- “Still me, yes”- talking hurt too, so she just whispered and made her best to hide the pain. 

Spencer couldn’t talk. He had no idea what to say. He had thought all night of all the things he wanted to tell her, but at that minute, it was too much, everything was too much. His eyes filled with happy tears and he leaned in to kiss her forehead. 

- “I thought I had lost you”- he managed to murmur, even when his chin quivered and his voice cracked- “I thought I was never going to see you again” 

- “You are not getting rid of me so easily”- she whispered and sighed

- “Are you ok?”

- “Yeah… don’t worry... “- Reid stayed close to her and tucked a flick of hair behind her ear.  They just stared. No one had ever been so glad to see each other ever before.      

- “When I was in the ambulance”- (Y/N) broke the silence and held Spencer’s hand tight, feeling him caressing carefully her fingers- “I kept flashing in and out of consciousness, everything was so bright around me… and I remember thinking it didn’t matter what happened to me, as long as you were ok”   

Spencer shook his head, crying, and leaned in to kiss her forehead again. He had never done it until that day, and he couldn’t stop now. He just wanted to kiss her, forever. 

- “You shouldn’t have done it”

- “I wanted to do it…”- she made a pause and closed her eyes. When you defeat death, you start taking chances, I guess- “I wanted to do it because I love you, Spencer, and I couldn’t stand the idea of you being hurt”

Reid had no idea what to do. He just looked at her in adoration and sighed. She loved him. Of course, she loved him, she had taken a bullet for him. He could be happy with her, he had a chance to make it right. He had a second chance to make her happy. 

- “You shouldn’t have done that, because I love you too much to live without you”- Spencer said and moved a little closer, resting his forehead on her, closing his eyes. She sighed and did the same, holding tight onto his hand 

- “I love you, Spencer” 

- “I love you too”- he smiled and whispered- “I love you so much, and I am going to say it to you every day until we die... if you have me”

He looked at her and kissed her lips sweetly, slowly... carefully, still afraid to hurt her.

- “Then, you will have to hear me saying “I love you too every day””- (Y/N) smiled and kissed him again. She never imagined it took a bullet to finally make her confess her feelings. But it had been worthy.   

[blacktofade]

pls oh god of fics pls grant thee touch starved Shane and oblivious Ryan in shyan ship *bows down* (i sent one before and donno if u actually got it cuz it showed error so im sending in another try)

I didn’t get your other ask unfortunately, but this is an idea I’ve been wanting to write like 10k for, but I know I’ll never have the energy. So it’s a little ficlet instead.

CW: Includes post-kidnapping, malnutrition, and an embarrassing lack of touching for a touch-starved prompt.

*

Shane disappears on September 17th. Ryan only remembers because they’d been scheduled to shoot an episode of Weird and/or Wonderful World and he’d had to eventually make the uncomfortable call to the Los Angeles County Arboretum and Botanic Garden to cancel their tour and interview.

It had been funny at first with Shane’s habitual lateness. They’d all assumed he’d slept late, forgot what day it was, and completely blanked on the filming schedule.

It’s less funny a week later when a missing person’s report is filed and Shane’s parents fly out to stay with Scott while they wait for any kind of news.

Detective Flores finds him two states over, a month and a half later. There are six hostages in total, as part of some elaborate heist that’s foiled before it comes to fruition. Shane’s kept in hospital for almost a full week, treated for malnutrition and a few general injuries, the news passed to Ryan through Scott via a DM on Instagram.

For the first time since Shane’s disappearance, Ryan sleeps through the whole night.

On the Saturday following Shane’s return, Ryan wakes to a phone call at eight in the morning.

“Hello?” he answers, voice rough from sleep, brain barely online.

“I’m sorry,” Shane apologizes, but his voice alone is enough to wake up Ryan the rest of the way. It’s the first he’s heard from him. He’d been trying to give the family space and knew Shane would find him once he was ready. Apparently, now is that time. “Can you come pick me up?”

“Sure,” Ryan agrees instantly, shoving back the covers and getting out of bed. “Where are you?”

“My apartment,” Shane admits and Ryan pauses from where he’s trying to dig out a pair of clean pants. “I just need a break.”

“Sure,” Ryan repeats. “I’ll be there in twenty.”

It’s quiet on the other end of the line before, quietly, Shane says, “Thanks, Ryan.”

*

Shane’s waiting at the curb when Ryan pulls up.

Ryan unlocks the door and watches Shane fold himself into his seat, waiting a moment for Shane to settle before reaching over to set a hand on his knee, squeezing gently.

“Hey man,” he says gently. “Long time no see.”

Shane startles at the touch, but glances over, offering a small smile in return.

He looks different. His face is thinner, his cheekbones a little more prominent, and there’s a new scar on the right side of his forehead that disappears into his hairline.

“Hey,” Shane replies, buckling his seatbelt and giving Ryan a view of his right hand, which has two fingers splinted together. “Thanks for coming.”

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”

Ryan stares at him incredulously and eventually Shane looks away, out the passenger side window.

“It’s just hard being surrounded by everyone right now,” he says, clearly talking about his family. “I need a break.”

Ryan checks over his shoulder and pulls back onto the road.

“Is my apartment okay? Or did you want to go somewhere else?”

“Your place is fine,” Shane tells him, and from the corner of his eye, Ryan sees him turn his head, staring as though Ryan won’t notice.

At the next red light, Ryan glances over. “How are you doing?”

Shane looks away, clearly caught. “Getting tired of people asking me that. It’s all anyone asks these days.”

“Guess they just want to know you’re okay.”

Shane glances back towards him. “Could be better,” he says bluntly and Ryan can’t help but let out a quiet huff of laughter.

“Yeah, no shit. But the hospital cleared you?”

“Yeah,” Shane sighs. “Apart from a few broken fingers and some weight loss, I’m okay.”

“I missed you,” Ryan admits. “It’s probably the longest I’ve gone without seeing you since we started at BuzzFeed.”

Shane frowns like he’s thinking and then the frown deepens. “Jesus, you might be right.”

Ryan laughs again. “Horrifying thought, huh?”

“Puts things in perspective.”

“Didn’t you miss me?” Ryan asks jokingly, but Shane doesn’t answer, just laughs quietly.

“It’s weird,” Shane says. “I was never alone, but it feels like I have to relearn how to be around people now.”

Ryan had read the news after Shane’s rescue. There had been five others saved alongside Shane, so he suspects they might be the reason Shane wasn’t alone.

Ryan shrugs gently. “Adjusting is hard, and I’m sure it’s even harder with your family refusing to let you out of their sights.”

Shane shakes his head. “You have no idea. I was in the shower for twenty minutes this morning and they started knocking on the door to see if I was still alive.”

“Rough,” Ryan laments. “Well, you’re welcome to chill at my place for as long as you need.”

“Can I move in?” Shane jokes, but Ryan just shrugs.

“If that’s what you want.”

It’s silent for a moment before Shane says, “Thanks, I appreciate it.”

Ryan offers him a smile. “Of course, dude. It’s what I’m here for.”

It’s quiet for the rest of the drive until Ryan pulls into his usual parking spot and glances over. “You good?

Shane nods and carefully unbuckles his seatbelt. “Yeah, I’ve got it.”

Ryan’s chest tightens watching Shane limp his way towards the front door, but he knows the last thing Shane needs is more helicoptering.

“Can I get you anything?” Ryan asks as he shuts the door behind them, watching Shane glance around as though he expects Ryan to have redecorated during his disappearance, but ultimately Shane shakes his head. “Okay, well, make yourself at home. You know the drill. I’m gonna go grab a drink.”

He knows Shane can find his own way to the living room, so he moves around him, heading in the direction of the kitchen instead.

“Ryan?” Shane questions and Ryan pauses, turning back.

“Yeah?”

Shane hesitates like he doesn’t know how to get the words out, but after a moment, he takes two steps closer and draws Ryan into a hug instead.

Ryan isn’t entirely expecting it. Shane’s not a touchy-feely guy, which means Ryan can probably count on one hand the amount of times they’ve hugged. But Shane folds around him so tightly that it startles the breath right out of him.

“I did miss you,” Shane mutters and Ryan lifts his hands to reciprocate, holding Shane as hard as he dares when everything feels so fragile.

“I was really worried,” Ryan admits. “I thought you’d been killed.”

He finds himself rubbing one hand along Shane’s spine, trying to soothe him as Shane tucks his face against his shoulder.

“You were gone for a long time,” Ryan continues.

He can feel the warmth of Shane’s breath through his shirt as he exhales shakily. “They broke my fingers when I tried to escape.”

Ryan holds him tighter, needing them both to understand that Shane’s safe again. Having the weight of Shane leaning against him is grounding in a way he never knew it could be. About a month into Shane’s disappearance, Ryan had gone through a mourning period, assuming he’d never see Shane again. He finds tears prickling his eyes as the relief hits him solidly in the chest.

“God, Shane,” he murmurs and he’s not sure who’s comforting who.

The warmth of Shane spreads through him, all the way down to his toes, like a cup of hot soup on a cold day. Except that Ryan never realized he was too cold until this moment. He feels alive and whole again, and he knows he can’t even begin to understand what Shane experienced. The fact that he can feel every ridge of Shane’s spine as his hand passes along it says enough.

When he finally starts feeling like Shane’s probably ready to let go, he loosens his arms and shifts, one foot lifting to take a step backwards.

“Just a little longer,” Shane requests and Ryan’s more than happy to comply, a noise of agreement escaping as he nods.

“I’ll stay here as long as you need,” Ryan tells him. “It’s just good to have you back.”

“It’s good to be back,” Shane replies and tightens his grip again like he might never let go.

To be honest, Ryan’s okay with that. He holds on just as tightly and settles against Shane, finally feeling happy again for the first time in months.

[drawlfoy]

Wonders of Ohio P.9

masterlist

requests are closed, but please read this first :)

if you want to be tagged, send an ask or message me!

pairing: draco x reader

request: nope, my original shameless self insert idea lmao

summary: american high school senior y/n y/l/n is in for the ride of her life when their exchange student is...a bit strange (but very hot). NOT a nonmagic AU, though you already knew that if you’ve read part 8 ;)

warnings: swearing, mentions of a break in, concerns about a home intruder, objectively the most fluffy scene we’ve gotten so far in this series (hehe), draco being fucking obnoxious and moody (did i mention swearing?)

a/n: ayoooooo so here’s part 9, as promised. i’ve started getting back into the hp universe more and more, so i should probably be picking up my writing soon. i’ve been feeling more myself again!! which is super awesome. i don’t think many people read this series anymore (or my author notes in general but i don’t blame yall) but i’m having a lot of fun writing it, so i’m going to keep going :)

music recs: 

puppy princess -- hot freaks

loverboy -- A-wall

linger -- the cranberries

tags tags tags: @gruffle1 @missmulti @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn @itsivyberry @ayo-cowbelly @nerd-domland @yesnerdsblog @shizarianathania @evanstanfanatic @strawberriesonsummer @hariosborn @night-ving @straightzoinked @imintoodeeptostop @naiomimoonshard @jejegu @ophelia-enthusiast @alwaysbeanunknownfan @nearly-memories @litty-dumb @callieclearwater @malfoy-wife15 @charlenasaxen @belladaises @fiantomartell @writeandtranslate @erisdogwood @loveissupernatural @sycathorn-slush @big-galaxy-chaos

word count: 3.8k :)

Y/N couldn’t help but wonder if Draco deliberately waited until the last minute to tell her family that he was leaving so he could evade her questioning. She tried to talk to him later that evening by knocking on his door, but she was met with complete silence. 

Draco was ignoring her, and she didn’t get why. She’d promised to not tell anyone--even begged for him to trust her and essentially swore on her life--but he still wasn’t acting normal. Perhaps he didn’t want her to badger him with questions about the magical world. 

Or maybe this was an excuse to get away from her.

Y/N swallowed the second possibility and locked it away somewhere out of sight. He’d left without a single word more to her (not even a congratulations for getting into a top 20 school, that loser) and never even bothered telling her when he’d return. And maybe that was the nicest part of it--she could pretend like he was never coming back.

As attractive as that option was, she had to admit that there was a Draco-shaped hole in her passenger car seat every time she drove to school. And in the kitchen when she was studying. And everywhere else he’d once touched. 

“Why do you think he went back?” 

Y/N took a break from reviewing her Art History final exam notes to look up at Lizzy. “Maybe something happened with his dad or he wanted to spend his holidays with his family? It’s probably not that serious.”

“Speaking of his dad, I tried to look up his name and see if anything came up,” Lizzy began. Y/N felt her heart jump into her throat. “Don’t you think it’s kinda sus? I haven’t found anything for him. It’s like he’s been completely wiped off the face of the earth. Do you know anything about it?”

“Honestly, I don’t think it’s any of my business.” Draco’s franticness when she found out lingered in the back of her mind as she chose her words carefully. “I’m sure if he’s a genuine political target, they’ve just scrubbed the web clean of him, being a minor and all.”

“But don’t you think it’s funny that he’s apparently so important but there’s no evidence of him or his father ever existing?”

“Lizzy.” Her voice was firm. “It’s entirely possible that his real name is different. And either way, it’s not our story to uncover. He’s entitled to his own privacy, and if he doesn’t reveal his true identity then we need to respect that.”

“Oooookaaayyyyy, Mother,” said Lizzy. “You’re so fun. You know that, right?”

“It’s my job.”

After the close brush with Lizzy, Y/N avoided the topic of Draco with her friends like wildfire. At the back of her mind, she registered that that was probably more suspicious, but when Sylvia asked her about him during lunch, she finally spun up a story.

“I told him I liked him,” she told everyone, the words stinging her throat. “He doesn’t feel the same way. I just would feel better if we dropped it.”

Her friends reacted immediately with sympathy, telling her that it wasn’t her fault that he couldn’t see her for what she was worth. Somehow, this made her feel worse. She didn’t even need to tell him her feelings to know his thoughts--he didn’t see her as anything but a “muggle”, or whatever he called them. She never stood a chance.

Y/N spent an embarrassing amount of time wondering how things would’ve been different if she was a witch. She didn’t know anything about his world (apart from the fact that they really had a stick up their asses about people knowing of them) but she somehow craved a place in it. Would Draco feel differently towards her if she was magic? 

It was probably better if she didn’t pay too much mind to it, but she couldn’t let the thought go. Every time she shut her eyes at night, the memory of waking up next to Draco replayed in her head, over and over. She would’ve sold her soul to have gone back to that. Would things have been different if she had just...not found the letters? She was driving herself crazy digging through all her interactions with him. There’s no way she was imagining things, and judging by the surprised reactions of her friends when she told them he didn’t reciprocate feelings, she wasn’t the only one who thought something was there. If he was really so disgusted by her and her people, he wouldn’t have let her sleep in his room, in his bed no less. 

As December wore on, her mind began to be occupied by another feverish stream of thoughts. If she didn’t already feel like she was going crazy over the Draco problem, she was going completely insane over the fact that she was misplacing things like crazy and forgetting the most basic of things. It seemed like it was almost every day that she was forgetting where she put her keys (even though she could’ve sworn she’d hung them up by the door) or getting home to find the door already unlocked even though she was sure that she’d locked it behind her. It would’ve creeped her out, but she was really off kilter. It just wasn’t right having Draco away, and the sense of dread she got every time she went by her room just threw her off balance. What if she still had lingering sickness from whatever magical infliction she suffered? 

He really should’ve stuck around to watch after me. Just in case. 

Another thing was bothering her--a name she saw pop up in the pouch from when she went through his letters. It was a small portion of his collection, and she didn’t even think to examine it until after he took them back from her, but she noticed that the name “Pansy Parkinson” came up more than once as a return address. 

Her mind immediately jumped to the worst--Draco was madly in love with another girl, a magical girl, and traveled back home with the express purpose of declaring his neverending devotion for her and complaining about that rat Ohioan muggle that he had to spend his days with. 

Y/N knew it wasn’t healthy, but no matter what she did, she couldn’t quite shake it. The fact that he’d no doubt grown up around girls that would be suitable for him to date was making her physically ill with jealousy, which was probably the most embarrassing part of her feelings for him. Nevermind how much time she spent fantasizing about how soft his hair felt or how his stupidly pretty fingers would feel grazing her skin--she couldn’t even cope with the idea of him existing with other women that were honestly a better choice to him. 

That Christmas was surprisingly bleak. Being an only child always made for a quiet house during the holidays, but the expectation she held of having Draco there set her up for disappointment. Her house felt empty.

“Do you think he’s coming back?” Y/N asked her mother as they did the morning dishes together. 

“Well, I assume so. Why wouldn’t he? He was scheduled to spend the entire year with us. I think that if he’s changed his mind we would at least know by now.”

“What if he’s still deciding?”

“Why, miss him already?” Mrs. Y/L/N’s tone was teasing, but she felt her cheeks grow hot. 

“Quite the contrary. I’m just wondering if I’m about to become the pampered only child again or if I’m going to need to go back into the unglamorous life of sharing the spotlight.”

“Y/N,” her mother tutted. She’d stopped doing the dishes.

Y/N made a point to evade her knowing look. “Mom.” 

Her mother took a breath before answering. “Nothing. As a matter of fact, I did get a letter from him a few days ago. He’s scheduled to return the second week of January, right before school goes back.”

“Oh,” said Y/N. No matter how hard she tried, there’s no way her relief wasn’t visible.

“How’s that for your Christmas gift, hm?” 

“Mom!”

“Hey! Hey, it was a joke,” Mrs. Y/L/N said, throwing her hands up in a “no can do” sort of gesture. “I know that you’re good friends with him is all. Unless…”

“Mom!” Her cheeks were all shades of red.

“All I’m saying is that he seems to enjoy your company.”

“Stockholm syndrome, I’m telling you.” Her explanation of what that meant was on the tip of her tongue before she stopped herself. There was no reason to--the only person who would need that explained to them was no longer on the same continent as her. 

“Whatever you’d like to think.”

~ 

The snowstorm hit them without warning, two days after Christmas. Her parents had left for the night to attend a charity auction, but unfortunately for Y/N, by the time that they realized that their daughter would be snowed in, the roads were too dangerous to drive on. Y/N begrudgingly agreed to do all of the things they told her to--get the generator ready, make sure the fireplace was prepared, and locate all the candles in the house. 

On any normal day, she wouldn’t have been concerned in the slightest, but she’d felt uneasy in her house ever since the night of the break-in, and now that this was the first night she’d have to spend alone, her heart was pounding at the thought of having to sleep in an empty house. Especially if the power was out. Especially when whoever broke in was still on the loose. 

She locked up at dusk, making sure that every entry to her home was completely sealed shut. The generator was in the basement, all set up in the case that the lights went out. She’d located all the bottled water in her house in case the pipes froze, and she finally retired to her room to relax. 

The sense of dread that hovered around Draco’s room was gone, thankfully. The overall feeling of creepiness was just beginning to lose its jarring sting, but she’d never quite been able to shake how many things she misplaced in the beginning of the month. 

She busied herself with mundane activities--she cleaned out her closet, organized her drawers, read, changed her sheets, and finished the last of her homework--but nothing could distract her from the gnawing inside of her. The hairs on the back of her neck constantly stood up, even when she was tucked away in the corner of her room, nestled into her blankets. The tingling was akin to what she felt when she walked into that antique shop on homecoming night--the same night when Draco helped her off her feet and narrowly kept her from throwing up all over Heather.

Looking back on it, she realized that when he grabbed her wrist, he must’ve done something to quell her nausea, something magical. There was no way her carsickness could’ve been able to disappear so quickly. 

Her soliloquy was interrupted by what sounded like footsteps outside. Before she could assess the situation and decide what she was going to do, a boom sounded off in the distance and she was all of a sudden bathed in darkness.

Y/N froze.

Someone was most definitely outside her house, but thankfully she’d locked all the doors. And, thankfully, the boom told her that her fuse box hadn’t been messed with. A tree had probably just fallen on a transformer. 

But those small comforts still didn’t change the fact that she was no longer alone--and not only that, but no longer alone without power. 

Her thoughts were interrupted once again by banging on her front door. Y/N jumped, just barely managing to clap her hand over her mouth to muffle her shriek. She’d seen enough horror movies to know that alerting someone that you were home wasn’t the smartest move. She’d have to be strategic. 

Heart pounding out of her chest, she crept out of her room and down the stairs. The power outage was quite lucky, she realized, as whoever was outside couldn’t see in. The moon only cast a slight light as it reflected off of the snow, so she was going to be able to see the person outside before they would see her.

She squinted from her perch by the base of the staircase. She could make out a silhouette, a tall and lanky one. The weak moonlight reflected off a very light head of hair, and Y/N was struck with a feeling of familiarity.

No way...

Y/N stood frozen for a few seconds as she heard the person knock on the door again. A muffled version of a familiar British voice said, “Is anyone there?”

Throwing all caution to the wind and praying to any higher power that was listening to her that her suspicion was correct, she pushed down on the doorknob and swung it open.

Her heart stopped. 

“Draco? What are you--”

Before she could get another word out of her mouth, she was pulled into the tightest (and snowiest) hug of her life. One of his arms wrapped solidly around her waist, the other reaching further up to her shoulders to hold her closer. He was tall enough in comparison that he could rest his chin on the top of her head while she cautiously clasped her hands around him, breathing in the same soft pine scent that she knew so well.

When he finally let go of her, she noticed that his face was decidedly less pale than what it had been when she first opened the door. At a loss for words, Y/N just made her way behind him and shut the door to keep the storm from blowing any more snowflakes in. She noted that Draco was shaking.

“You’re okay,” he said, his voice low and quiet.

She grinned. “Yeah. Believe it or not, I’m not that scared of the dark.”

He didn’t look nearly as amused, wringing his hands out in front of him instead of meeting her eyes.

“You’re going to freeze to death if you’re gonna just stand there in soaking clothes,” she chided. “And what are you doing back half a month early? I know you must’ve missed me, but I didn’t expect you to miss me THAT much.”

He rolled his eyes, bringing Y/N the comfort that the sarcastic asshole was still in there. “We need to talk.”

“No, what you need to do is get changed into dry clothes,” she said. “Not sure if you’ve noticed, but until we get our generator working, there’s no heat...and I’m not sure if the Ministry is going to like it if I let you die on my watch.”

Even though he didn’t normally laugh at her jokes, he seemed especially solemn when she said this. It became very clear to her then that he regretted his brief display of affection.

“What are you doing, just standing here? Shoo! I don’t want to see you dripping snow all over the rug.” She waved him off until he made his way up the stairs, still eerily silent. 

Once she was sure he was actually getting dressed, she made her way to the kitchen where she started heating up the water. She’d never been more thankful for the fact that they had a gas stove instead of an electric one. 

The tea was almost finished brewing by the time that Draco was back downstairs, perched awkwardly on the couch. She’d never seen his sweater before--it was in a rich forest green with a silver crest of a snake. 

“Are you going to tell me whatever is going on? I’ve never seen you like this before,” asked Y/N as she handed him the mug that she knew to be his favorite.

He took a sip and waited a bit before responding. “I found out some things while I was away.”

“Is that it? Must’ve been something pretty interesting for you to come in here and act like I’m your long lost love or whatever.” She took careful note of how his cheeks were especially pink, but it must’ve been because of the cold.

“I shouldn’t tell you everything, but I think you should probably know the gist of things,” he began. “First of all, I figured out why I couldn’t use the Obliviation cube on you. Also, you have to consent to an Unbreakable Vow.”

“A...what? Care to elaborate? Like, at least a little? Why didn’t it work on me?”

He sighed, a sharp breath of air that left his lungs in a huff. “Because you stumbled upon a very important box that can bestow the gift of magic onto anyone. And since you did something in your dream to try and open it, it permanently took root in you. I tried to reverse it, but there’s always going to be an imprint of magic on you.”

“Sick. So I’m a witch now? Like you?”

“No.” His tone was sour. “No, you’re not. For that to work, there needs to be a ritual actually completed by someone magical. That’s why you got so sick--because you would’ve needed me to help you through your dream sequence and open up the box. So, now that you’ve essentially pushed yourself into the magical world uninvited, I can’t use anything on you that’s catered towards Muggles.”

“Rats,” said Y/N. “That’s no fun. What about the whole part about my safety? And what’s that vow thing?”

“Apparently someone really, really wants that box,” Draco told her. “It doesn’t just give muggles the gift of magic--it can also give current wizards powers that are otherwise completely unavailable to the rest of the population. In the wrong hands, they could wreak havoc on the world. And I’m almost positive they think you have it.”

��Oh…” Everything started falling into place. “So, the break in? That probably was them right? And, uh, let’s say if you feel like maybe someone has been in your house while you’ve been gone? Like, that’s something I should be worried about, right?” 

“Is that happening to you?” His face looked significantly more pale.

Y/N was tempted to tell him no--just to ease his nerves--but something in his look told her that she needed to be truthful. “Um, kind of. You know how I can be forgetful, though. It’s just little things, like sometimes I come home to find that the front door is unlocked when I’m sure I locked it, or I can’t find little things like my car keys and my phone, but it’s all easily explained.”

“I never should’ve left,” he said, tucked his knees up to his chest. “I should’ve known that that was Merlin’s Box.” He swallowed, meeting her eyes with a gaze that looked so forlorn that her heart ached. “I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, hey, all we have to do is tell them I don’t have the box, right? And then they’ll leave me alone.” 

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I assume so, but if they didn’t find the box when they originally ransacked your room and they’re still hanging around, I don’t know what to do. That’s why I can’t obliviate you, the proper way that we use on wizards, because I can’t always be there to save you. Once I’m gone, you’re going to have to manage on your own.”

“Please, Draco,” said Y/N. “People will always talk a big game, but once I pull out my pepper spray it’s over. I can take care of myself! I didn’t need protection while you’re away.”

He smiled then, a small one that seemed more sad than anything. “You sound like me. When I was younger.”

“You probably don’t even know what pepper spray is. What’s that vow thing?”

“You have to promise that you won’t say anything that would reveal what you know about me and my world,” said Draco. “I need to find a wizard to say the incantations, but it shouldn’t be too hard. I ended up telling the Ministry what happened--I’m not going to get sent away as they have a clear record of me at least attempting to wipe your memory and they agree that you need to be able to protect yourself. Unbreakable Vows are just really intense promises. If you break it, you die.”

“Is that your way of saying you don’t really trust my word?”

He rolled his eyes. “It’s required by the Ministry. If you don’t comply, then you’re going to be completely obliviated and then you can have as much fun as you’d like trying to run from whoever that criminal is without even knowing why they’re after you. Oh, and without me.” 

“Then why are you even offering the vow? Don’t you want to go home?”

Draco took a long drink from his mug. “I still have a sentence to carry out. If I go back home, I’ll get sent to the same prison that my father is being held at right now.”

“A...sentence?” Y/N stared at him. “I know you mentioned a punishment, but a sentence?”

He remained silent and refused to meet her eyes.

“Draco, what exactly did you have to do?”

“It’s none of your business,” he snapped. The sudden switch of tone made Y/N start, but he was unwavering in his scowl. “I’d prefer to not think about it.”

“But...Draco…” Y/N cast her gaze to the ground so she didn’t have to see the no doubt furious look in his eyes when she continued to push. “How bad? Do you think that maybe whoever is after me might know that I don’t have the box anymore? And that they might be trying to seek revenge against you for whatever it was that you did instead?”

He didn’t respond.

“Think about it. That would explain why I was untouched this whole time that you were away when they were still keeping tabs on me.”

With a pronounced bonk, he set his mug down on the coffee table. “I’m going to bed.”

She managed to get one more look at his face before he spun around to head up the stairs and was shocked to see what was etched into his face--anger, yes, frustration...and also shame. Unmistakable shame.

final a/n: weeoooooooo i’m like 3 minutes early...this is a monumental moment for my blog. let me know what you guys think (if there’s still people sticking with this series fjkds;al). i am going to go back into my hole and work on some math hw (wonders of ohio y/n vibes...i have low key become her trying to roleplay as a stem girl). the plot is going to thicken and hopefully there will be more fluff soon. i honestly didn’t want to add the hug bc i do want this to be slow burn but it has come to my attention that this is now about 30k words long and i haven’t given y’all so much as an inkling that draco has feelings/anything will happen between them so i gotta give you something to hold you over fjdska;

[jingabitch]

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell ch.3

Summary: When you were ten, Taehyung adopted you and gave you a home. Now that you’re eighteen, the sudden change in your scent perplexes and confounds him.

Pairing: wolf hybrid!tae x human!reader (all bts members are hybrids)

Warnings: smut | talk of ownership (reader is tae’s pet human) | (eventual) daddy long legs syndrome | angst | ANGST SO FUCKING MUCH ANGST | shit goes down in this chapter | tae bloWS UP at mc | mentions of prostitution (but not explicitly described) | reader is in a real bad situation | maybe don’t read if you’re sensitive

Word count: 10.4k

Rating: Explicit

A/N: I know I said ch3 was going to be the last one, but it got too long and there’s still a whole section left of the story so I thought it was best to post this and then write Chapter 4 as a separate part. Enjoy!

Series index

Whatever you want, it’s okay.

Both you and Taehyung thought extensively about that statement over the next few days as things started to go back to normal. You tried to tiptoe around the obvious elephant in the room, relishing the relative normalcy and freedom of the atmosphere in the apartment, now that Taehyung’s shameful secret was out, and it worked, for the most part. Nothing changed outwardly in the way you interacted with each other – you were still physically affectionate, cuddly with each other especially during bedtime – but the thought of what was to come weighed heavily on your mind, and you knew it was the same for him.

Still, you were committed to this, to him. You tried to show, without words, how seriously you were taking your promise. When he hugged you or scented you, you pressed as close as you possibly could. And, even though your human senses were dull and useless compared to his, you thought you could feel him start to relax as you demonstrated your commitment towards this. Towards him.

The talk came around, of course. Sooner than you would have liked, but probably later than it should have. In the early morning one weekend, you’d woken up to find Taehyung wrapped around you. He’d gone out the night before, but ever since his heat, you’d taken to sleeping in his bed even when he wasn’t there, knowing that he would appreciate your presence when he did come back. This in itself wasn’t unusual, since he’d always been a cuddly sleeper. He usually woke up before you and would be in the middle of his extensive morning routine by the time you got up and went to get breakfast started.

This morning, though, he was still asleep when you woke up, courtesy of his late night. You knew they’d been working really hard on their comeback, and your heart filled with tenderness at the thought of Taehyung staying late in the studio again. His front was pressed against your back, but you tried your best to reach behind you to ruffle his hair affectionately anyway.

You miscalculated, however, and your jostling caused him to stir. You froze in a panic, hoping that he would go back to sleep since he desperately needed the rest after the long week he’d had. But, instead of doing as you were silently willing him to in your head, he let out a low groan and cuddled closer to you, pressing himself to you so hard he was basically crushing you into the mattress. Feeling his morning wood pressing against your ass, you bit your lip, closing your eyes at the now-familiar combination of arousal and reluctance that threatened to overwhelm you.

“Y/n, baby…” he groans in that sleep-raspy voice, and the balance tipped towards mindless arousal. You buried your face in the pillow and tried to stifle a whimper, unsure of what you were allowed to feel or say in this situation. Would he be disgusted if you reciprocated? After all, he wasn’t in heat right now, and may not actually want you in that way, regardless of what his body said.

You, of all people, were more than familiar with the mindless nature of physiological arousal and how it could occur even if your mind was unwilling, especially after his previous heat.

The way he suddenly stiffened against you clued you into the fact that he’d noticed that you were turned on. Not for the first time you cursed his superior senses.

“Y’ smell sogood -” he slurred against your neck and you shivered. His hand gripped your hip almost too hard for a second, then snatched it back as if he was surprised that the appendage had betrayed him like that. “Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean -”

You could hear him panicking, and it was too early in the morning for any of that shit, so instead of saying anything you just took his hand and put it back where it was.

“Y/n… I don’t know what you want – we’ve never talked about it and…”

You turned over and pressed your face into his chest. “Whatever you want, Tae-oppa.”

You could practically hear the cogs turning in his head as he considered the implications of what you’d told him. Pushing away any negative feelings you may have secretly harboured, you tilted your face upwards to look at him, hoping that he would see the sincerity in your eyes.

“Y/n…” he said again, staring down at you before his lips crashed into yours in a heated kiss. This was the first time you’d kissed since you had come back from Yoongi’s after  his heat ended.  Despite the morning breath, heat flooded you as he pulled you closer to him. With a moan, you wrapped your arms around his neck and used the leverage to move yourself up on the mattress, deepening the kiss.

When Taehyung broke away to rest his forehead on yours, he was panting, his mouth shiny and slightly swollen. “Wait, wait,” he protested, although its effect was muted by the way he ran his hands over your body like he couldn’t get enough of you.

“What is it?” you almost whispered, afraid that speaking too loudly would break the spell that had been woven around you. Everything seemed to move more slowly, feeling as though your senses had been heightened, you were so in tune with  his every movement.

“Baby, I don’t know… what you want -” he started to explain in a halting voice. You were tired of explaining to him that you were giving him carte blanche, so you decided to show him.

Going for broke, you slid one hand down his bare chest, hooking your fingers in his sweats. You paused, waiting for his response, wondering if this was too much and if it was actually what he wanted. Maybe his protests about not knowing what you wanted and holding back for you were really just excuses. Maybe  he didn’t actually want this?

Taehyung froze, looking down at you with wide eyes, in interminable silence. Just as you were about to pull your hand away with an awkward apology and run away forever in embarrassment, he groaned and crashed his lips back onto yours. The urgency that had been so apparent during his heat was back abruptly. A dark, shameful pride swelled in you for garnering this reaction from anyone, much less your super-hot celebrity owner.

His enthusiastic reaction gave you the confidence you needed to continue, so you snuck your hand into his sweatpants slowly, giving him plenty of time to change his mind and tell you to stop if he wanted to. You noticed he wasn’t wearing underwear as your hand met the warm, soft skin of his hipbone.

The sharp inhalation you heard in response had your eyes darting back up to his face, examining his expression for any indication that he wasn’t comfortable with this. Your hand paused, thumb pressing into the crease between his leg and his pelvis. He groaned, a sound of such heartfelt suffering that you began to remove your hand, intending to comfort him if he wasn’t feeling good about it anymore.

Taehyung snarled in response,  grabbing your wrist and preventing you from moving. The way he kneaded the fine bones in his grasp spoke of his strength and restraint – you knew he could break you if he wanted to. Instead of forcing you to do anything, though, he gritted out, “I need to know, love, what you want me to do to you.”

Your heart swelled with adoration for him. Even in the face of  clear need, he was so kind, so considerate, so good. It made your decision easy, pressing yourself closer to him to whisper, “Anything you’d like.”

That seemed to seal the deal for Taehyung. He released your wrist in favour of groping you, sliding one hand up your shirt. His big hand splayed across your belly made you shiver, a reaction that only spurred him on as he inched  further up. With a breathy moan that he caught between  his lips, you slid your hand in his pants and finally grasped him.

Your hand ghosted past him before wrapping around his dick firmly. Taehyung shuddered, his teeth sinking into your bottom lip. Being wrapped up with him like this made it all too easy to forget that he was a hybrid. Maybe you could do this, after all, you thought optimistically. Hybrids were mostly human too, right?

You started with a slow, steady pace, gliding your hand up and down his erection as he whined and panted. He tried to continue kissing you but got distracted, eventually just hiding his face in your neck as he held on to you, palming your breast under your camisole. The way his palm rasped against your nipple sent a bolt of heat rushing through you to pool in your core.

“Shit,” he huffed, a sentiment you wholeheartedly agreed with, as his fingers stole into your panties. You were almost embarrassed about the sticky mess you’d made of yourself, but when he found your clit  you couldn’t bring yourself to care. “Fuck, Y/n.” The syllables of your name sounded so filthy when he moaned them like a prayer or a curse – it didn’t matter which. “You’re so wet.” You squirmed as he said it, desperate for more friction.

As his thumb circled your clit, the pad of his finger eliciting delicious sensations from you, his fingers slipped down, pushing into your pussy, which was so wet that he slid right in. The slight stretch was so amazing that you immediately clenched down on him. You were so distracted that you almost forgot what you were doing, your grip loosening on his erection as your motions slowed down, becoming almost mechanical. His whine of protest against your lips snapped you back to reality, though, and you started jerking him off with renewed vigor. You shouldn’t have forgotten what this was all for, you chastised yourself.

Taehyung’s reactions told you that he was close enough as it was, but you wanted to be good for him, to make him happy. You wanted to go the extra mile, so you employed a little trick that you’d figured out towards the end of your previous relationship. On the upstroke, you twisted your hand slightly and then ran your thumb across the head of his cock, smirking as you felt his breath wash over your face in a shaky exhale. When you noticed him trying to subtly thrust up into your hand, you took it as a good sign.

Just to really seal the deal, you reached down with your other hand to cup his balls. You were pretty hesitant with this because you knew not everyone liked it, but you figured it was a risk worth taking. Just having your hand there seemed to send him stratospheric, though. You tried not to show your triumph on your face as he groaned, coming  all over your hand. His own ministrations on you ceased as he came, and you pushed away the disappointment, continuing  to milk him through his orgasm.

When he was done, he slumped against you, pressing open-mouthed kisses to your shoulder as you gingerly removed your soiled hand from his pants. Scent was a big thing for him, and he could smell his cum on you, something that made his spent cock twitch again. Humming, you brought your hand to your face, deliberately licking it clean in front of his transfixed gaze. This was something your ex-boyfriend had liked, and you were sure that Taehyung would enjoy it even more.

You knew you were right when you heard his shaky whimper. He drove his fingers into you with renewed determination, as if intending to reward you for being so good. “Fuck, you’re so hot, so good for me…” He kept up the stream of filth as he continued working you over, refusing to let up even as you came on his hand, clenching down on his fingers as your cream dripped out of you. It wasn’t until your cries of ecstasy  faded into little moans of pain when overstimulation began to set in that he removed his hand.

He brought the soaked fingers to his face in a reversal of what had just transpired as he looked at them, sighed, then sucked them clean. “You taste so fucking good, Y/n,” he moaned around his fingers. “I can’t wait to taste it straight from the source.”

Coming from anyone else, the line might have been cringey, but the way Taehyung said it so matter-of-factly as he stared you down caused a little shiver to run down your spine. You knew that you should clean up, but just in case he hadn’t gotten the message, you squirmed ever closer to him. “You only need to ask,” you promised.From the way his gaze darkened again, you knew he’d finally gotten the message.

After that, things seemed to ease up around the apartment. Taehyung no longer held himself stiffly around you as if he was holding himself back. He now allowed himself to scent you or demand physical affection when he needed it. Though you hadn’t slept together yet, he was pretty much content with the way things were now since you never denied him anything he needed. There had been a whole lot of handjobs and blowjobs. He never pushed, and you never asked, secretly grateful that he seemed satisfied with what you were currently doing - you didn’t think you were ready for sex either. Not that you would deny him anything if he wanted it.

Taehyung, as you were beginning to find out, was a bit of a monster between the sheets. It wasn’t just his high sex drive, which you supposed must be normal for hybrids, but his penchant for domination that was something you had to adjust to. If you were sucking him off, he would more often than not take control and fuck your face, holding your hair looped around his fist tightly, the pressure on your scalp just the wrong side of painful. He enjoyed edging you till you cried, something which you were far less enthused about than he was.And his hands found themselves wrapped around your neck more often than not,.

It was all so uncharacteristic of the normally gentle and kind man you’d always known, but you were, quite frankly, living for it, pleased that he was comfortable enough with you to show that side of him.

Other than that, though, he walked with an ease that hadn’t been there for months now, smiled more, and generally seemed looser and more relaxed.

You weren’t the only one who noticed, either. All the other boys did too, and it was Namjoon who finally cornered Taehyung one morning when they were alone together in the studio to ask about it.

“You sorted things out with Y/n-ie then?” he asked while they were sitting together in front of the control panel, playing back Taehyung’s vocals and fiddling with how it would sound on the track.

Taehyung tried (and mostly failed) to subdue his grin. You’d woken him up with a blowjob that sucked his soul right out of him this morning, and he still couldn’t feel his toes. So yeah, he’d say things were pretty damn good with you at home. “I did, yes,” he said, feigning nonchalance.

Namjoon looked at him suspiciously. He’d kept his discovery to himself, hoping that he wouldn’t have to say anything, but now it looked like he might have no choice. He couldn’t bear the thought of his brother walking into a sexual relationship with a human without having all the necessary information. After all the humans had done to their kind…

“Yeah? What did she say?” he probed further, hoping against hope that all you’d done was talk about it and then returned to the parameters of your previous relationship. The way colour bloomed across Taehyung’s cheeks dashed his fruitless hopes.

“She, uh, said…” he floundered for an instant. He’d never been secretive about his sex life, especially not with his brothers, but this time was different. He was still worried about any judgment he could receive even though Namjoon had been so understanding and kind when he’d had his heat. Still, wanting to be in a sexual relationship with his pet human was different from actually embarking on one, he knew that.

The way Namjoon raised his brow at him let him know that he’d basically figured it out already, and reluctantly, Taehyung mumbled, “She let me do whatever I wanted.”

That, more than anything, had Namjoon seeing red. His brother, ultimately innocent in all of this, saying that you, a human, was letting him do what he wanted. He knew logically that none of this was your fault, and you were trying to cope with a situation that was highly irregular, to say the least. Yet you were still a human. You still descended from the race that had made Taehyung the way he was, and the fact that Taehyung didn’t even know how fucked up the whole situation was made him burn up inside.

“Taehyung, before you get further into this… thing… with Y/n,” Namjoon said in a low voice, “I need to tell you something.”

Taehyung’s brow crinkled when he heard Namjoon’s tone, the way he’d described his budding relationship with you so disdainfully, but he nodded and leaned in to listen to Namjoon rather than yelling at him about it. It was, after all, highly inappropriate to pick a fight with your elders, a lesson that he’d learned well.

Namjoon sighed. He really didn’t want to tell Taehyung, knowing that it likely wouldn’t benefit anyone. Taehyung would be shocked and furious over something he couldn’t help or change, and who knew the damage that it could have on his relationship with you. Now, though, knowing that you’d gotten involved with each other, he couldn’t help but wish he’d said something earlier.

“Do you remember when I said I would do a bit of digging about your whole… situation?” Namjoon tried to put it as delicately as possible.

Taehyung nodded slightly hesitantly. Truth be told, he’d pretty much forgotten all about that, so warmly ensconced in the bubble that the two of you had built together in the apartment. He supposed that whatever Namjoon had to say, it wouldn’t really matter, he thought, since the problem had already been resolved, and quite favourably, at that.

“So, uh…” Namjoon fumbled awkwardly, not sure how to begin. Despite his determination to tell Taehyung the truth, he found himself almost unable to speak the words. Seeing Taehyung’s wide-eyed, trusting gaze, however, gave him the strength he needed to push through, to tell his brother what he needed to know.

He told him everything he’d found out, starting from the beginning, leaving no uncomfortable, disturbing detail out.

“You know when hybrids were still being manufactured…?” he started. Taehyung nodded, and Namjoon swallowed before continuing. “You know many hybrids were created to be companions for humans, right?”

Another nod.

“Well, when they started creating wild animal hybrids, there was, um… a problem.”

Taehyung raised a brow inquiringly but didn’t interrupt.

“Wild animals aren’t naturally docile or friendly towards humans, you know? They don’t bond with humans in the same way, are less loyal, and so on. And with so many humans buying hybrids to be companions for their children, there was a real demand for hybrids that fulfilled the desire for ‘exotic’ pets. But they had to still be safe to have around kids, and would still create the lifelong bond hybrid breeders advertised.”

Namjoon looked massively uncomfortable talking about this and Taehyung understood. His lips thinned in displeasure hearing about all of this secondhand, especially at the dehumanizing terms used to describe the hybrid industry of the past. None of this was public knowledge though. No one wanted to teach their children about all of the messed up things that humans had done to hybrids in such excruciating, graphic detail. Now that things were better, there was no point in having them rehashed. He opened his mouth to tell his brother that, but Namjoon, pre-empting Taehyung’s interruption, held his hand up to indicate that Taehyung should continue listening.

“It turns out that… hybrid breeders tried to force that bond between humans and their hybrid pets.” Namjoon paused, assessing Taehyung’s reaction. The younger man’s jaw worked, but he nodded, indicating for him to continue.

“Some genetic scientists managed to isolate the genome sequence in certain animals that mate for life, like penguins, seahorses… wolves…” He gestured at the wolf hybrid, and Taehyung nodded again, more grimly this time.

“Through breeding, genetic splicing, and manipulation, they were able to engineer a process in select hybrids causing hybrids to form a very… intimate and secure bond with their owners.” Namjoon cringed as he said it, hoping that Taehyung would understand without him having to spell it out. The confused look on the younger man’s face dashed those hopes quickly.

“Uh… what does that mean?” Taehyung asked.

“Damn it, Tae, they made it so that hybrids would mate with their humans.” Namjoon cringed as soon as the words left his mouth, not having wanted to explain it in such blunt terms. Taehyung looked stricken, his mouth gaping open slightly as his brow furrowed.

“I – what – how?”

Namjoon sighed and patted the couch next to him, letting Taehyung snuggle close in the hopes that his physical proximity would provide some comfort. As soon as Taehyung scooched closer, he wrapped his arm around his shoulders, trying to convey without words that they would get through this together.

“They somehow managed to manipulate the gene sequence so that hybrids would latch on to a human, forming a mate bond with them, so they could ensure hybrids would stay loyal to their owners. This way hybrids wouldn’t pose a threat to their human companions. From what I understood, the imprinting process is triggered when a human and hybrid are in close proximity with each other throughout their adolescences – so hybrids would only form the bond with their companion, and not any other humans in the household.”

“But – I don’t understand. When I bought Y/n, I was already in my twenties… I was an adult. Even if what you’re saying is true, the imprinting process shouldn’t have been triggered between Y/n and I.” Taehyung’s voice was becoming faint as he tried to process the magnitude of what Namjoon was telling him. Did that mean everything that he was feeling for you… was a lie?

“Biologically, hybrids’ adolescence lasts a lot longer than humans’ because of the way we were engineered – apparently, human owners liked for their hybrids to remain playful and curious for as long as possible. When you adopted Y/n you were nearing the end of your adolescence and she was just starting, so the timing just matched up.”

“I – why didn’t I know about this, then? I should have been told, before…” He couldn’t finish his sentence. Tears were pricking at his eyes as  he choked back a horrified sob. Violated didn’t even begin to describe how he felt right now. His own body had betrayed him, fulfilling a purpose he hadn’t even known about or agreed to. It felt  like he was a prisoner in his own body, deprived of basic autonomy, so completely helpless against the meddling of human scientists in centuries past that had created him to fulfill someone else’s agenda. All this talk of profit and the wants and needs of human owners who hadn’t even viewed hybrids as people made him sick.

Namjoon hugged him close. He could understand the inner turmoil that his brother was facing – he’d been horrified and sickened to find out all of this, and all of this was secondhand to him. To find out that you weren’t the master of your own body… it was chilling. “Hybrids who could form such bonds were very rare, because the technology was so expensive,” he answered Taehyung’s question. “And because hybrids who formed such bonds with their humans rarely procreated, the government thought it was safe to assume that this gene had died out.”

Taehyung could barely form words, he was so worked up, and he was trembling in Namjoon’s arms. “I can’t – I can’t be here,” he muttered, shoving his brother away as he tried to make a break for the door. He wanted to claw his skin off, escape his body, the body that had been created to bond him to another without his consent.

Worried, Namjoon got up to follow him. “Tae, where are you going?” he asked in concern.

Taehyung grabbed his keys from the table next to the door and exited the room. “I need to be alone right now, hyung,” he called over his shoulder, stalking down the hall to the elevators.

“Tae, come on, you shouldn’t be driving right now,” Namjoon ran after him, trying to make him see reason.

Abruptly, Taehyung stopped and rounded on him. “Let me make my own fucking decisions just once, hyung,” he snapped.

Namjoon stopped in his tracks. He was right, he knew that. It might be dangerous for him to be alone right now, but at least it was a decision that he could make for himself. In Taehyung’s current state of mind, safety was secondary to feeling like he was actually in control of his own body and emotions after having everything he’d ever known be disrupted so cruelly.

“All right, just… be careful, okay?”

Taehyung nodded as he continued walking and Namjoon sighed. He didn’t know if he’d handled that well, but to be fair, there really was no good way to handle a situation like this. How do you tell your brother something so disgusting?

When he got into the car, Taehyung didn’t really know where he was going. He just knew he had to get away from the studio, to process what he’d been told properly. He wished he could get away from the body he was an unwilling prisoner in, but that wasn’t possible for him. Out of habit, he drove back to his own apartment, barely realizing where he was going until he was sitting in the parking garage, still panting, gripping his steering wheel like a lifeline. His knuckles had turned white, and it felt like the steering wheel was going to crumble in his hands.

It wouldn’t be the only thing that had, he thought sardonically.

Every time his mind flickered back to the bombshell that Namjoon had dropped on him, he got pissed all over again. That sense of revulsion, of hating your body, permeated every inch of his soul. He wanted to scream, to cry and throw things, but none of that would help. There wasn’t anything that could free him from his prison.

Almost woodenly, he got out of his car and made his way back to the apartment. When he opened the front door and stepped inside he was immediately assailed with the scent of food. He rounded the corner and saw you standing in front of the stove, stir-frying some pork with onions in spicy sauce. Next to that, a pot of stew was coming to boil. It was all so domestic and he hated it. He despised how his body relaxed against his will at your presence, he knew now that it was only a product of manipulation, so he would remain docile around you. A built-in muzzle. The thought made his fists clench.

Of course, you didn’t know anything about all of that, so when he came to a halt behind you, you just turned your head to greet him, still stirring the meat in the pan. “Tae-oppa, you’re home early,” you chirped, a sound that just this morning would have made him melt. You’d turned back to the stove after a cursory glance at him, so you hadn’t noticed his expression.

He was scowling at you, his eyes spitting fire. How could you be so blasé about everything, when he was so tormented by his imprint? You’d even fooled him into believing that this sick desire he had for you was something acceptable, that you were the one doing him a favour. How dare you, after your people had messed with his entire genetic makeup, made him into a freak, greet him so casually like nothing was wrong. The resentment and rage filled him as he stood there staring at you.

This was your fault, after all. If he hadn’t adopted you that day none of this would have happened. He would still be normal, maybe able to have a normal relationship with a hybrid woman. You were the one who’d triggered this latent timebomb inside him, the reason why his body wouldn’t listen to his mind. Even now, when all he wanted was to yell, to throw things and be angry, it felt like he was chained, unable to do anything that might distress you.

This was unacceptable. How dare you stand there cooking dinner, so completely unaffected. You tasted the meat, made a satisfied noise, then turned off the burner, picking up the pan and turning to the island to plate it. “You should go get changed, oppa. Dinner should be ready soon,” you said, shaking the food onto the plate you’d set out beforehand.

When he didn’t respond to you, you looked up curiously. The sheer vitriol and hatred in his gaze made you pause. “Oppa, you okay?” you queried hesitantly. “Did you have a bad day or something?” Putting the pan down, you started making your way around the island to go to him.

“Stay away from me.” The words were snarled with more venom than you’d ever heard in your usually affable owner’s voice. Unease started to trickle down your spine. You couldn’t figure out why he was so angry at you, when everything had been fine just this morning before he’d left for work.

Standing awkwardly in the middle of the kitchen, you nevertheless tried to defuse the situation, your instincts screaming at you to de-escalate before something bad happened. “Hey, whatever happened, it’s all right, we can talk about it, right?” You raised your hands up in his direction placatingly.

He growled at you. “Talking is what got me into this mess!” he yelled, making you flinch back in fear. He’d never raised his voice with you before, and you didn’t know how to react.

“T-Tae-oppa…” you whimpered, shrinking in on yourself.

Taehyung welcomed the twinge in his heart and the discomfort he felt, his body pumping out hormones and chemicals in a bid to control his mind and take over his decisions. Defying the instincts of the body that had betrayed him, even if it hurt physically, especially because it hurt, gave him a twisted sense of satisfaction. That he was taking his freedom and autonomy back from the nameless, faceless human scientists who’d intentionally taken it away from him. Even the pain felt good, like he was punishing his body for betraying him.

The scent of your tears starting to leak from your eyes as you sniffled made him feel guilty for a second, before the rage came roaring back, more potent than ever. How dare you make him feel like the asshole when everything that was happening now was a result of you and your fellow humans? Hadn’t he suffered enough after being forced into a sexual relationship with a human and made to struggle with what he’d thought were unnatural desires?

“Get out.” He surprised you both with the demand. As your eyes flew back to his face, widening in shock and horror, you could see his mouth drop open slightly, like he couldn’t believe he’d said it. Your vision quickly became blurry from the tears filling your eyes and you wiped them away with the sleeve of your cardigan.

“Tae-oppa, please,” you pleaded, dread filling you at the prospect of being cast out on the streets. It felt like your ribcage was closing in on your lungs and you couldn’t breathe. The worst part was that you didn’t even know why this was happening all of a sudden. You had no idea why everything had gone so wrong so abruptly or what mistake you could have possibly made that warranted this.

Overwhelmed with panic, you stumbled towards him, your hands outstretched, begging him to reconsider. “Tae-oppa, please, just tell me what I did wrong; I promise I’ll change, give me another chance, please!” It looked like he was starting to soften, but then you reached him and grabbed his hand, holding his much larger one between both of yours, and his expression closed off again.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” he said in a calmer voice that was nonetheless brimming with anger. When you were slow to react, your mind unable to process the 180-degree change in his entire attitude from this morning, he continued. “Get your filthy fucking hands off me, you disgusting human,” he spat, pulling his hand away from yours.

Stunned and horrified by his words, you let your hands drop uselessly to your sides. Your eyes filled again with tears and this time you didn’t bother wiping them away. This was your worst nightmare. You didn’t know what had happened today to cause it, but somehow he’d come to his senses and realized that this relationship the two of you had was sick, disgusting, wrong, and he rightfully blamed you. After all, you were the one who’d initiated, who’d chosen to give in to his instincts when you should have known better.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice broken.

“Sorry? What fucking good does sorry do now?!” Furiously, Taehyung swept all the dishes off the island, and you leapt in fright as it all crashed onto the floor. The plate shattered and the pork was flung all over, making a mess. You stared in shock at the shards of porcelain and the meat strewn across the floor, then back to Taehyung.

“Tae-oppa, please, I’m sorry, I won’t do it again-” Reduced to begging, that was all you could say as panic began filling your lungs and weakening your muscles. When he didn’t react, you sank onto your knees, not sure whether it was by choice or whether your legs had just given out on you. Tears ran down your face freely now as you looked up at him, searching his face for any sign of the kindness and love that you usually saw in his expression.

His stony countenance revealed none of it. “I don’t want to look at you anymore,” he responded coldly.

“No, Tae, please, please-” He couldn’t be serious, you thought wildly. You had nowhere to go; your whole life revolved around him…

When you were slow to respond physically, he grabbed your wrist. It was an action he’d done many times before, but never like this. Never with this dispassionate look in his eyes, like he was taking out the trash. You sobbed helplessly as he dragged you to the front door, casting you out and slamming it in your face.

And then you were alone.

The silence that followed the door slam was deafening. Taehyung looked around the apartment, feeling like a red fog had been lifted from his eyes. Now that you were gone, it was almost as if whatever hold you’d had on him had broken. He was still angry, panting slightly from his physical and emotional exertion, but it seemed that reason had returned to him.

It was almost eerily calm in the apartment now that he was alone, after everything that had transpired in the same space just minutes ago. He turned away from the door and walked back through the apartment again to the kitchen, his mouth twisting into a frown as he looked at the mess he’d made. As he bent to clear up the mess, the rhythmic motions of the mindless, banal task was somewhat soothing to him, slowly numbing the anger he’d felt.

He still didn’t want to think too closely about the whole situation or you, because he wasn’t ready to unpack all of it yet. While he figured it out, he figured you’d be safe enough, probably already on the way to Yoongi’s place, or one of the other members’. It was probably for the best that you spent some time apart anyway, regardless of how harshly it had been initiated. God knows he wouldn’t have been able to spend time just hanging around you like everything was all right, now that he knew what he did. Even though rationally he knew that you had nothing to do with the whole imprinting thing, and it wasn’t your fault, he couldn’t look at you anymore without remembering the way his free will had been stolen away from him, so neatly and wholly that he hadn’t even realized it was happening.

The thought was horrifying to him, sending a shiver snaking down his spine. No, it was better that you stayed away for the time being, he thought, throwing everything in the trash and exiting the kitchen.

After all, as much as your presence had manipulated him, he knew he was a danger to you as well.

You were cold. It was mid-March, and while it wasn’t as miserable now than it had been in February, the weather was still too harsh to be wandering around the streets at night, especially in the clothes you were wearing. You looked down at your feet, clad in the fluffy house slippers you’d been wearing in the apartment when Taehyung – when he –

No. You shook your head and wrapped your hoodie more tightly around your body, refusing to think about it. Even now, tears were starting to prick at your eyes as you sniffled, and you knew that if you let yourself replay the events of the evening in your head, you’d start bawling. It was bad enough being a lone human in pajamas wandering around the streets of Seoul; if you started crying, you’d attract even more attention.

You’d wandered around the expensive neighbourhood for a while, unsure where to go. You didn’t have your phone or anything else, since Taehyung had kicked you out with no warning, so you couldn’t call anyone for help. Not that you’d know who to go to. Your whole life in Seoul revolved around Taehyung, and you didn’t know anyone outside of that. If he was so mad at you, you were sure his members would be too, so as much as you wanted to just hide out in Yoongi’s apartment, you couldn’t bring yourself to go there. You didn’t think you could take it if he started yelling at you too.

Eventually you started walking to the only place you could think of – the shelter you’d been adopted from. You didn’t know if they would even take you in, but the lady in charge back then had been kind and warm, and you didn’t know where else to go. It was a long walk to the shelter, and it wasn’t the safest place to be alone at night, but it wasn’t like you had anywhere else to be, you thought slightly bitterly. You couldn’t say you blamed Taehyung for doing what he’d done, but obviously being homeless in Seoul in early spring wasn’t ideal.

It was late by the time you reached the neighbourhood where the shelter was, and even colder. Your nose was dripping, and you dragged your sleeve against it impatiently as you walked down the street. Here, the buildings weren’t as sleek and pretty as they were in Taehyung’s fancy neighbourhood, and the grey concrete and dirty walls were far less inviting. There was more than one abandoned lot, which would probably have been overgrown with weeds in the summer but were now just barren dirt.

You hadn’t been back here in almost ten years, and hadn’t missed it, either. Honestly, you wouldn’t have been upset never having come back here in your life, but sadly that just wasn’t how things had worked out. Your hands were shoved in your pockets as your shoulders hunched over, trying to make yourself seem as small and unnoticeable as possible. It really wasn’t the best neighbourhood, and you didn’t think you knew how to defend yourself if someone tried to start something with you.

Finally turning onto the street where you knew the shelter was, you breathed a sigh – you didn’t think you’d ever seen any adult humans there, but maybe the lady who’d taken care of you back then would let you stay a night, give you a hot meal…

The shelter was gone.

You stared up at the now-decrepit building with teary eyes, despair building in you. It had never been the best-looking building, since the shelter was permanently underfunded, but now it just looked sad. Some of the windows were boarded up, and bits of plaster had fallen off. It was abandoned now, dark and cold inside.

Just like you. You sniffled, trying to hold back the sobs and quell the panic rising in you. This had been your last idea, and now it was gone and you had literally nowhere else to go.

With one last look, you walked away. It was late now, past midnight, and you had to find somewhere to spend the night. It was too cold to just be on the streets, and you were sure you’d catch your death sooner rather than later in this weather. You sniffled again, wiping your eyes and nose on the now sodden sleeve of your hoodie, and shivered.

You ended up where it seemed lots of homeless people did, at an underground sheltered walkway leading to a subway station. You definitely weren’t the first one there, and you grimaced at the sight of hybrids and humans alike lying on the floor along the sides of the walkway. Sitting down gingerly in an empty spot and leaning against the wall, you sighed and closed your eyes. The walkway was warmer than it was outside, but it wasn’t comfortable, definitely nowhere near as nice as where you’d been sleeping just last night.

It was only now that you realized how fortunate you’d been all these years, living the pampered life of a pet. Going from your first owner to the shelter had been an adjustment, but now you craved the sense of security of having a roof over your head, even one that hadn’t been ideal, which the shelter definitely hadn’t been. In fact, until tonight you’d thought living in the shelter was the lowest point of your existence. Now you’d do anything to be back there.

You wanted to scream, cry and throw a tantrum, but you bit the inside of your cheek to hold your tears back. There was no point, and you’d just be disturbing the other people who were already asleep. Now that you were sitting down, somewhere warm(ish) and safe(ish), all the despair over your situation that had been held at bay by the need to find a place to spend the night was flooding in. Without anyone to contact and no other recourse that you knew of, you found yourself in a hopeless and terrifying situation. How could you go from the pampered existence you’d led all your life to this? You didn’t know how to take care of yourself, how to get food or find shelter. The thought that you’d be an easy target on the streets chilled you to the bone, and you almost didn’t want to sleep so you would remain aware of your surroundings.

Still, the physical exhaustion from walking all over Seoul proved too much for you, and before you knew it, you’d succumbed to a fitful, restless sleep, slumped against the wall with your head resting on your bent knees.

Any hope you might have harboured that all of this was just a bad dream vanished the moment you became aware of the uncomfortable position you were in, before you even opened your eyes. You kept them stubbornly shut for as long as you could, not wanting to acknowledge the situation you were in, but eventually you had no choice. The sounds of your fellow homeless brethren getting up and picking their cardboard mattresses off the ground (and wasn’t that a depressing thought) filtered through your senses, and finally you got up.

Your back and neck were killing you after spending the whole night slumped in that uncomfortable crouched position, and you grimaced as you stretched yourself out. Nature called, and you found a subway restroom to use, then tried to clean up the best you could in the sink, using toilet paper as a towel. Needless to say, you still felt gross but it was the best you could do at such short notice.

Looking at your reflection in the mirror, you sighed at the sight that greeted you. You were still in your pajamas, only they were dirty and slightly smelly from your adventures last night. As if on cue, your stomach growled to add to your misery, and you frowned. You had no idea where to get food, and now you really looked and smelled like you were homeless. Thankfully, you still had the hair tie that was always around your wrist, and you used it to tie your hair in a bun so at least it wouldn’t look that greasy and disgusting.

Walking out of the restroom, you aimlessly followed the crowd as you thought about your next move. Life as Taehyung’s pet had been easy and fun, never having to worry about where your next meal would come from, or about anything in life, really. He’d always spoiled you so much, but now that you were on your own, you were quickly realizing how woefully unprepared you were.

The hunger was a constant gnawing ache at your insides, distracting you. Now that people were on their way to work, you could see them holding all sorts of delicious treats in their hands. Hotteok, sandwiches… it all made your stomach growl. You were standing pitifully next to an office building, watching the nearby cart vendor frying up some delicious hotteok, when a hybrid wearing a suit approached you.

“Excuse me…” he said, and you just about leapt out of your skin in surprise, before turning to stare at him with wide eyes. He looked like a common dog hybrid, and you relaxed a little. It wasn’t that he wasn’t a threat, since all hybrids were stronger and faster than humans, but going by the ears perched on his head, he was a Samoyed breed, and they were always super friendly.

“Hello…” you said hesitantly, still unsure of what he wanted.

“I saw you looking at the hotteok, do you want one?” he asked.

“Oh…” You looked at the hotteok stand again before turning your gaze back to the Samoyed hybrid and nodding eagerly. “Yes, please!” you chirped, and he smiled as he went to the vendor, fishing his wallet out of his pocket.

Later, as you munched on the sweet, warm treat, you thought that maybe being homeless wouldn’t be that bad after all.

It turns out, of course, that you were a fucking idiot to have believed that for a moment. Towards the end of your first full day on the streets, having eaten nothing but the hotteok all day, you finally had an epiphany moment.

Hangang Park.

It was perfect. It was full of picnicking families with children who were all too keen to give tidbits to humans, plus there were always leftovers. You remembered happier times in your life, when you’d gone to have picnics at Hangang Park with the boys. They’d always over-ordered from delivery joints, wanting enormous varieties of food, and you’d ended up with way too much food for even seven hybrid men and one human to finish.

It took you another day on foot to get to Hangang Park, and you’d been ecstatic when you arrived. Finally, you thought, things should get easier. Food, public toilets that you could use, and maybe even some shelter if you could commandeer a tent.

When you finally arrived, it was getting dark and you sighed. Most people would have left by now; hopefully there were still a few stragglers who were looking to get rid of leftover food. As you walked through the entrance of the park, weaving around the barricades meant to get people to dismount from their bikes, you shoved your hands in the pockets of your hoodie uncertainly. You’d never had to do anything like this before, and it was scary and nerve-wracking.

As you selected a bench near a group still picnicking, you could hear your heartbeat thundering in your ears. Somehow your adrenaline was rushing, even though all you really had to do was look sad and hungry when they were packing up, and hopefully they would decide to give you their leftover food rather than tossing it in the bin. Still, now that you hadn’t eaten in over a day, and had only tap water from public restrooms to drink, the stakes almost felt higher than anything you’d ever done in your life. Which was true, you supposed, since you’d led such a mundane and blessed life. Everything had always been provided for you.

Thankfully, you looked sufficiently pitiful for the group of friends to spot you when they were starting to pack up, and one of them beckoned you over with a hand. You happily got up and rushed over, making sure to put that extra bounce in your step to look even cuter than usual.

“Do you want some food?” the girl asked, pitching her voice a little higher than usual. You nodded eagerly, playing up the doe-eyed effect that usually had hybrids melting. She smiled at you in response, and her friend handed you a container with some fried chicken, and another with a few pieces of tteokbokki floating around in a bright red sauce.

“Thank you,” you chirped, holding the food in your hands, and they chuckled as they took turns petting you. You didn’t love it when strangers touched you, since you’d spent most of your life around familiar people, but you let them do it nonetheless and saw them off with a cutesy “bye-bye!” before going back to the bench to eat your spoils.

Before you could put the first rice cake in your mouth, though, you were surrounded by four people, all glaring down at you.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, you fucking bitch?” the one standing right in front of you said. Not loudly, but with so much anger and venom in his tone that you dropped the rice cake back into the sauce in surprise.

“Huh?” was all you could manage.

He snatched the container you were holding from you. “This is ours,” he snapped.

You frowned up at him, rising to your feet. He was big, though, and as you tilted your head up to look at him properly, you felt a frisson of fear run down your spine. The hunger gnawing a hole in your insides made you braver than you normally were, though, and you snatched the tteokbokki back. “No, it’s not; the hybrids gave it to me.”

“They were on our turf,” the guy standing to your right snapped. He wasn’t as tall as the first one, but still taller than you, and broad and muscular enough that you shrank away.

“I just wanted some food,” you protested, casting your gaze downwards. “I haven’t had anything to eat in almost two days.”

“That’s not our fucking problem,” a third one snapped. He was the smallest of the four of them, almost petite in frame, but that didn’t make him any less intimidating. In fact, he radiated a menacing aura, glaring at you so fiercely with his fists clenched at his sides that you fought the urge to whimper in fright.

At this point, you knew that it was hopeless to try and intimidate them into giving you your food back, not least because you had no idea how to actually defend yourself on the streets. The despair and hopelessness caught up with you, and you sagged back onto the bench. Now that it became clear that they would actually take your first meal in almost two days from you, you didn’t have enough energy to stand or hold back the tears that had been pricking at your eyes since you were first cast onto the streets.

You sobbed helplessly into your hands, which were pressed against your hot cheeks. “Please, just let me have some food,” you begged, forcing the words out between sobs and gasps for air. “I didn’t know this was your turf, I’ll leave after this, I swear.”

With your head in your hands, you didn’t notice the four of them sharing glances over your head. “Hey,” the last one knelt on the ground to try and look at you, although you stubbornly kept your face hidden, not wanting them to see you like this. It was shameful enough that you were reduced to this, begging for scraps of leftovers. He was persistent, though, and you finally removed your hands from your face, swiping across it aggressively with the sleeve of your hoodie.

“You’re new here, right? The whole park is divided into territories by different groups of humans; you’ll have to leave unless you can join a gang.”

“Oh…” That was all you could say in the moment. Leave? This was the only place you’d thought of after days on the streets where you could have a reliable supply of food. If you had to leave the park, you were convinced that you’d starve. Tears threatened to spill out of your eyes again.

“Hey, don’t cry…” The large one started shifting uncomfortably, and made to put his hand on your shoulder, but then pulled it back right before it actually made contact.

“I don’t know what to do; I’m so hungry…” you whimpered, all the frustration and despair from the last few days spilling out of you.

“We can take you in, but you have to contribute something; we can’t just adopt dead weight,” the smallest man informed you, his arms crossed over his chest. You looked up hopefully, wiping your face and sniffling.

“R-really?” you said in a small, hopeful voice. “I can contribute, I promise I’ll do anything! I think hybrids like me; I could get more food, I’m sure…” you offered, your voice trailing off uncertainly as you took in their unimpressed expressions.

“All of us can do that,” the big one explained with a shrug. “It doesn’t look like you can fight, either…” He eyed you up and down as he said it, and you fought the urge to hunch in on yourself, his blatant scrutiny making you slightly uncomfortable.

You bit your lip hesitantly, and when all of them focused on your mouth, you understood what it was they wanted.

“Okay,” you acquiesced, resigned. The tall one held his hand out, and you put yours in it, forcing yourself to smile up at him as he tugged on you to pull you closer to him. His other arm wrapped around your waist, and you feigned happiness as you found your cheek pressed against his chest.

Over the next two weeks, you began to settle into your new life. Thankfully, now that you’d been taken in by the group (which called themselves, strangely enough, Big Bang) things got a little better survival-wise. There was enough food that you didn’t starve, even if you were never full and satiated. They let you sleep in the giant tent they had, and once, when they’d collected enough spare change you’d all gone to a laundromat and washed your clothes.

If only the price to pay wasn’t so high.

In all honesty, all of them were insanely good looking, and in a different life you probably would have been more than happy to hook up with any or all of them over and over again. But this situation… it was, in a word, horrifying. Knowing that ‘no’ wasn’t an option because they could kick you out at any moment and leave you alone again tainted every interaction you had with them, even non-sexual ones. You couldn’t even blame them, because you knew that in order to feed you all of them were eating less, and in this short amount of time on the streets you knew that if you were in their position, you wouldn’t be rushing to adopt another stray either, especially one that didn’t contribute much. It was just unfortunate that this was basically the only way you could earn your keep in the group.

Waking up to a boner shoved rudely against your ass or hands up your shirt wasn’t something that was new in itself either; that had happened to you many times while you were living with Taehyung, particularly in the last month or so. Thinking about that made you kind of depressed, though, so you tried not to, although you wondered if this was karma for that. It probably was.

It wasn't that any of them were particularly nasty, so you didn't have the comfort of hating them. In fact, sometimes they could be downright sweet to you, saving you an extra bite of a sweet treat or something. In fact, the small one, whose name you found out was Jiyong, even saved you half a chocopie once that some kid hadn't been able to finish.

Maybe the arrangement you had wasn't such a bad thing, after all? You figured, as pessimistic as it was, that this was probably a permanent arrangement for you, and it didn't make sense to spend so much time and energy thinking about how much you hated your life. If you can't change something, change the way you think about it, and all that - although you had your doubts about whether it was really intended to help people come to terms with being forced into what essentially amounted to prostitution.

Really, though, it wasn't like there were any reasons for you to safeguard your chastity or whatever. Archaic ideas of morality had become obsolete long ago, and it wasn't like anyone was going to judge homeless stray humans for having sex. No one even spared stray humans a thought, which was really cold comfort given the situation you’d found yourself in.

Meanwhile, Taehyung was going about his life pretty much normally. The apartment was a little colder, quieter and duller without your presence, but he was still too angry to let himself dwell on that for too long during the first two weeks that you'd been gone. It was only when he'd calmed down some and realised that he might have overreacted that he was able to think rationally about the whole situation. He missed you, he realised, and it was a real asshole move of him to kick you out, although he wasn’t too worried about you, sure that you were safe in one of his members' apartments while he got his head on straight. No one had come to talk to him about you, but he figured it was just as well since he didn't think he was up to having you back at home yet.

Still, he wanted to give you some sort of peace offering, to let you know that he wasn't going to abandon you forever. Maybe you'd like some books or something, he thought. You always had your nose in one book or another, just like Namjoon, so he figured he'd pick up the one you were reading and pass it on to the member you were staying with.

With that in mind, he came home from work one night and went straight to your room instead of his. His nose wrinkled at the musty scent in the room, although that was to be expected since the door had been shut for the last two weeks. Your scent was barely in the room now, and he didn't know whether he should be sad or relieved to note that. He found the book you were reading fairly easily, of course, since it was on the little table next to your cozy reading chair with the pretty bookmark that he'd gotten for you overseas still in it. What surprised him, though, was that your phone was sitting beside the book. The battery was long dead, of course, and he picked it up together with the book, taking it to his room to charge it.

The next morning, he brought the phone and the book to the studio with him. Unfortunately, without you around to wake him up every morning, he'd reverted back to his old habits and was the last one in the studio, later even than Yoongi, who just looked at him with an unimpressed expression when he burst into the studio.

"You should comb your hair before leaving your house, Tae," Jin reprimanded gently as he started trying to pat Taehyung's wild bedhead down. Taehyung frowned at his hyung, but didn't otherwise respond, pulling your phone and book out of his bag.

"I brought Y/n's stuff," he explained, unnecessarily, he thought, since it was obvious that the phone in the pretty floral and rose gold case was yours. He was slightly confused by the blank stares from his members that met him when he raised his head to look at them again, so he elaborated.

"You know, she's been staying at one of your apartments, right? She didn't have her phone and I wanted her to have her book back."

"Taehyung-ah... I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about," Yoongi, ever the frank one, said bluntly.

Taehyung blinked. "She's not staying at yours?" he asked, his voice now a lot less certain.

Yoongi shook his head, and denials from the rest of the boys abounded as well.

"I didn't even know you guys had fallen out... what happened?" Jimin asked curiously. Helplessly, Taehyung's eyes fell on his leader, begging him for some assistance. Namjoon's face said it all, though. Taehyung had fucked up.

[tsukikento]

Kind

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

Summary: You were always so kind to Bakugou, constantly doing favors for him, and everyone felt sorry that he never reciprocated your feelings. You didn’t mind though, especially not after tonight.

Words: 4533

Warning/Genre: Some angst, mostly fluff though. Slight swearing.

A/N: This took so long, what a mess! I know I should be writing for my series, but I got this idea and could not let go of it. It is pretty different to my usual style so I hope you guys like it! Also posted on my ao3 @ allie_win

The crisp Friday morning started similarly to how it always does. You woke up, went on your morning run, and got ready for class. Once finally done pampering yourself, you made your way to the kitchen. Although your class, class 2-A, would eat dinner together, people’s eating habits for breakfast were varied, and so everyone was on their own.

After your run, your body craved protein and carbs, so you always made yourself something you could easily eat on the way to class. Today, your plan was to make a hearty breakfast burrito.

Out of habit, you also made a breakfast burrito for Bakugou Katsuki to take to class, making sure to add extra spices and hot sauce to his.

You had noted quite some time ago that the boy went to bed early and got up late, typically getting 11 hours of sleep, which was ridiculous in your opinion. However, you also noted that he never had time to eat anything during the bright and crisp mornings.

You had sat next to Bakugou since your first year at U.A. and had heard his hollow stomach grumble enough times to know he needed food. He just did not have the time to make anything.

Just as you finished wrapping the warm tortilla of Bakugou’s burrito, the blond boy came rushing through the hallway, his gray backpack in hand. This day was typical to all the others, meaning it was only you and Bakugou left in the big dorms at this point.

“Good morning,” You greeted, smiling at the not-completely awake boy.

He looked up and you while still rushing to put on his shoes and leave. He didn’t bother to respond to you.

“Made you breakfast,” You offered, showing off the two burritos. You grabbed your bag, two waters, and both burritos and now made your way to the door where Bakugou was currently lingering.

“I don’t need you to make me breakfast every morning,” Bakugou scolded, at first not taking the burrito.

“I just made too much,” You reasoned, shrugging your shoulders. “I struggle with making small enough proportions for only one person.”

Bakugou’s red eyes pierced through you as if trying to figure out whether or not you were lying. It was a story he had heard time and time again. He thought you should have learned by now considering it was nearing the end of your 2nd year at U.A.

“No one else is here to take it anyways,” You continued. “Come on, just take it before we are even later for class than we already are.”

Bakugou grumbled and snatched the burrito and water from your hands, mumbling a small “Thanks.”

You smiled brightly at his response and slipped on your shoes. “Ready?” You asked, noticing that Bakugou was waiting for you by the door.

Once again, Bakugou only hummed in response. However, this time it was because he was currently digging into the burrito. A smile creeped its way onto your face, the satisfaction and joy from helping Bakugou evident on your face.

You didn’t know what it was, but you just felt the need to take care of the short-tempered boy.

You and Bakugou walked to class silently, both of you finishing your burritos before entering the main building and making it to your classroom seconds before the bell rang.

~~

The day continued on smoothly, but just before lunch, Bakugou dropped his pencil on the ground. No one noticed as the pencil quietly rolled under your desk.

Before Bakugou had a chance to grab it, you bent over and picked up the mechanical pencil.

When Bakugou looked at you to grab the pencil, he immediately noticed your bright, almost blinding smile, and shining, vibrant eyes. Your hair was styled perfectly, no hair out of place despite having just bent over and your school uniform was crisp and hugged your body in all the right ways. Before he could make a fool of himself, he snatched the pencil from your hand similarly to the burrito.

He grumbled and turned back to Aizawa-sensei, not bothering to say thank you.

He was, however, blushing and you knew that he appreciated your help. You smiled, satisfied with the interaction, as you turned your focus back to the notes you were taking.

~~

On your way back from class, you, Momo, and Jirou took the long route, making your way through the flower fields that were just beginning to sprout. 

As you passed by, you grabbed flower after flower, creating a colorful and fragrant bouquet. You didn’t know the names of all the flowers currently in your hand, but the deep oranges, greens, and blacks immediately reminded you of Bakugou and his hero costume.

By the time you got back to the dorms, Bakugou was heading out with Midoriya and Todoroki to go to Endeavor’s agency.

When you crossed paths with him, you stopped him by placing a hand on his chest. You took a moment to feel just how hard his chest was against your hand before focusing back on Bakugou’s face.

“I picked these for you,” You gushed while looking down at the blooming flowers.

In response, Bakugou scoffed and pushed past you to get out the door. “I don’t need flowers that are just going to die,” He snapped while following Midoriya and Todoroki through the door.

After he left, Momo came to your side, apologizing for Bakugou’s rude behavior. 

You laughed and brushed Momo off, “Don’t apologize for him, it’s not your fault.” You smiled at your kind friend to show her it didn’t bother you. Although you were sure she didn’t notice, you definitely did see the small blush on Bakugou’s face that formed when you offered him the flowers.

Obviously Bakugou wouldn’t have accepted the flowers, you didn’t expect him to. That, however, didn’t prevent you from placing the flowers into a vase with water and placing it in front of his closed bedroom door.

It never bothered you when Bakugou didn’t accept your kindness. It was enough to see his blushing face and red eyes looking at you.

~~

That night was the end of the year party; every student would be getting together in the gym to celebrate a long year.

Last year, all of you were too young and nervous to ask anyone to accompant\y you. However, with hormones on the rise this year, a lot of the boys in the class were rushing around to find a date whether in your class or not. For example, Kaminari had gotten up the nerve to ask Ibara Shiozaki to attend the party with him. The beautiful girl with vines for hair politely declined, saying that she could not decide on one boy. Apparently twelve had already asked her to the party before Kaminari.

Currently, you as your female classmates were gathered in Ashido’s room. Everyone had brought over their dresses and makeup to get ready. As expected, most of the conversation revolved around dates.

“Ahh,” Ashido sighed, her black eyes glossing over at the prospect of love, “I can’t believe Uraraka and Midoriya are going together. So cute!”

The girl in question blushed, distracting herself from the task at hand and resultantly began floating away. “It’s just as friends!” She exclaimed as her face began to get a little too red.

Ashido then moved on to Momo, who was sitting on the pink desk, applying her final touches of makeup. “And Yaomomo,” She exclaimed, “I can’t believe Todoroki asked you, It’s like a royalty story of a prince and princess!”

Momo, who had grown all the more confident in herself over this last year, waved off Ashido. “We are going as friends, my dear. Don’t read too much into it.” Jirou grinned at her elegant friend, who blushed in return. Even if it was as friends, it was obvious Momo hoped for more than just the company of Shouto. She even told you and Jirou that she was hoping to get a few dances out of the rather oblivious boy.

“Ashido-kun,” Tsu chimed in, “Why are you so concerned with other’s love lives when you could be getting ready for Kirishima to take you.” The comment was innocent, although it could have easily been mistaken as rude.

Ashido pouted and sat down on the floor by her makeup. “Kiri just asked me because I’m like the only girl he talks to.”

“You don’t know that,” You replied, turning your head to look at your pink friend, “Maybe you’re the only girl he talks to because he likes you.”

That silenced your friend, the comment making her debate her relationship with Kirishima.

“You’re one to talk,” Hagakure commented, making all the girls around you giggle.

You looked at the girls around you quizzically, unsure of what they meant.

“She’s talking about Bakugou,” Jirou added as she fiddled with her dress, pulling it down as if it would suddenly become longer.

“What do you mean?” You asked before you sprayed your face with a moisturizing setting spray.

“We mean,” Uraraka began, “That you are attached to Bakugou at the hip, always doing him favors.”

“So what?” You snapped back, “I like helping people.” You shrugged your shoulders.

Every other girl in the room looked at you, their eyes practically rolling simultaneously.

“Yes,” Momo began, “You do help us. However, you help Bakugou more than anyone. You make him breakfast every day! And you literally sparred against him hours every day for this past week to prepare for our final. Do you not remember how tired you were? Do you not remember that you still insisted to help him out even though he told you to take a break?”

You looked at the girls around you, getting slightly lost in your thoughts. Eventually, you replied, “So? I just like helping people.” You turned back to your mirror to inspect your makeup, “It’s not like he asked me to the party today anyways.”

You felt a small tinge in your heart at the idea of your emotions not being reciprocated. You weren’t an idiot, you knew you had a soft spot for the blond boy, but you promised yourself to never act on them. You were happy with the small times you got to be with him, satisfied enough to let your relationship with him continue without a ‘next step.’

You looked to your side to see Jirou giving you a pitying smile. She sat down next to you and wrapped her arm around your shoulder. You knew she was in the same situation as you. You gave her a small smile and she leaned in to whisper to you as Ashido and Hagakure continued to talk about boys. 

“We can go together,” She mumbled, “Show everyone.”

Your smile grew, happy to have such a good friend.

Suddenly, small explosions rang through your ears. Everyone knew who caused it.

“Y/L/N,” You heard Bakugou’s voice yell over the sound of his annoyed explosions.

The girls in the room looked at you with suggestive eyes and smirks. You rolled your eyes at them and got up from your spot on the floor to open the door that Bakugou was now banging on. When you swung it open, you were met with the face of a rather upset Bakugou. His cheeks were puffed out from his pout and his hand was still up, positioned to bang on the door once more.

He was wearing a black button-up shirt, the top two buttons were undone and he had a gray vest on with red stitching and embroidery on it. His black slacks were hung slightly too low on his hips and in his hands was a maroon tie that matched the red stitching on his vest. It was smashed into a ball and you already knew what he was going to ask.

You smiled and reached out for the tie, flattening it in your hand to get rid of the wrinkles Bakugou had made.

As you did this, Bakugou took a moment to eye your outfit. It was lucky that you had just finished your makeup. 

You had on a red dress, the color almost matching his tie. The sweetheart neckline flowed down and hugged your waist, making your curves evermore prominent. The dress poofed out just slightly after your waist, a black lace lining was over the fabric and it had images of roses on them; Bakugou noted how well it matched the red on his vest.

Bakugou looked up at your face as you continued to smooth out the fabric of the tie. Your eye makeup mixed red and black colors together perfectly and when you looked up at him with a small smile and glossed over eyes, he wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself.

He looked down and wiped his sweaty hands off on his pants before looking up once again. Over your shoulder were six other girls, all staring at the interaction.

He made eye contact with Ashido, who was grinning wildly and it made him upset that anyone could watch as he fell for you.

“Let’s take this into the hallway,” He mumbled as he gently held onto your elbow and led you into the empty hall. He closed the door behind him, staring daggers at Ashido just before it closed.

When he turned around to face you, you were holding the tie up, waiting for him to make the next move. Bakugou bent down and moved forward so the tie was lying on the back of his neck. He popped up his collar as he made note of how goddamn close you were.

For you, the proximity was also something quite jarring, even though you had been tying Bakugou’s ties for him since the first year. He only wore them for very special occasions because he hated the feeling of them around his neck. You were the only person able to tie it loose enough that it didn’t bother him. Or so he claimed.

You slowly and carefully moved the fabric, making sure that it would work with Bakugou’s immaculate suit perfectly. “So,” You spoke, practically whispering. You looked into the boy’s red eyes, your gaze holding him in that position, “Soon we’ll be third years.”

“Yeah,” Bakugou replied, trying his best not to sound like a total fool.

You caught the way heat rose from his neck to face, a pale pink following it closely.

“It’s crazy,” Bakugou sighed, averting his gaze away from you and to the ceiling.

You hummed in response as you tightened the tie just slightly to rest perfectly aligned with the collar of his outfit. You stepped back and smiled at your work before reaching up and putting his popped collar back into the appropriate place.

Your heart fluttered at the feeling of having Bakugou alone like this. Although you could not kiss or hug the blond boy, you were satisfied with what you were able to have.

It was all worth it if you were able to have moments like this.

“Do you like the flowers?” You asked, noticing they were no longer in front of his door.

Bakugou scoffed, “I just took those shitty flowers in because Kirishima made me. Not like I want the dead petals falling all over my room.”

Your heart hurt slightly at his response, but pursued your questions. “They match well with your hero costume. It’s cute.”

You threw that word out there to see how he would react. You weren’t calling him cute, but you were calling something related to him cute. Bakugou pushed himself back and shoved his hands into his pockets, looking down at his feet.

“Whatever,” He mumbled before pulling out his hand to pick at his tie. “Thanks,” He mumbled.

“No problem,” You reassured, feeling rather confident in yourself.

“See you at the dance,” Bakugou spoke before turning around and making a beeline towards Kirishima’s room.

You smiled and made your way back to Ashido’s room.

~~

The gym had been decked out by the third year students. Colorful lights were hung up all around the gym and they were reflecting against glass to make colorful rainbow lights reflect against the floor and wall.

You were currently standing with Jirou at the punch table, watching Todoroki and Momo awkwardly dance. Even though Momo was trained in Ballet and Waltz, the pop beat that was currently playing did not match well with her elegance. At least Todoroki was equally as awkward.

Your eyes wandered over the crowd, finding all of your friends. Uraraka was dancing in a group with Midoriya, Iida, and Shinsou. It seemed the green haired boy was too nervous to dance with her alone, even though they were technically going as a date.

At least it wasn’t just you who was having a disappointing night. You sighed, trying to pull yourself out of your slump. Just because you weren’t going as a date, didn’t mean you couldn’t have fun.

You pulled Jirou over to a table with Kaminari and Sero sitting at it. To your knowledge, they hadn’t danced with any girls yet and were probably itching to show they weren’t the awkward guys they actually were.

“Do you guys want to dance?” You asked as Jirou fixed her dress. “Let’s go, Sero!” You added to make sure Kaminari would end up dancing with Jirou.

The black-haired boy nodded, smiled, and stood up while gently taking your hand in his. 

Although your dress was long, it was trimmed just above your ankles and relatively light, making it easy enough to keep up with Sero. By the end of the song, you had worked up a sweat from trying to keep up with the two energetic boys. Your sides hurt from laughing so hard at their ridiculous dance moves.

“Oh my goodness!” You laughed as the next song began. “I need to catch my breath.”

“Same,” Jirou breathlessly agreed. She grabbed your hand and followed you to the table you left your drinks at.

You looked behind you to see Sero and Kaminari continuing to dance with just each other. They waved at you and you looked back towards the table. When you sat down, you immediately chugged your punch down and sighed at the comfort of the soft chairs.

You and Jirou chatted lightly before Sero and Kaminari finally joined you again, grabbing their own drinks to sip on.

“I’m gonna get more punch,” You excused yourself before making your way to the snack table.

You looked around the dance room as you lingered by the table and grabbed something to drink and eat. Subconsciously, you knew you were looking for Bakugou. You hadn’t seen him at all in the gigantic gym and were beginning to wonder if he even showed up.

Although his blond, spiky hair helped him stand out, his red haired friend was even easier to find. However, he was currently on the dance floor with Ashido and Bakugou was nowhere near him. You sighed and let your eyes wander to the back of the gym, hoping to see Bakugou grumbling in the corner.

As your eyes traced over the barely lit back wall, you finally saw the spiky-haired boy. He was standing next to Tokoyami. However, Tokoyami was currently being asked by Tsu to dance.

You confidently made your way to Bakugou now that he was all alone. You had two glasses of punch in your hands and were making sure not to spill any. The boy in front of you had a grumpy face that didn’t disappear when he noticed you approaching him.

A coy smile graced your lips, the lipgloss you had on shining perfectly with the lights. “Hey, loser,” You greeted while extending your arm to hand him the drink.

Bakugou scoffed, but easily accepted the cup of red liquid. He sipped it and immediately groaned at how sweet it was. “Ugh, have you been drinking this all night?”

“No,” You lied.

“Your teeth are red,” Bakugou replied.

You immediately closed your mouth and pouted. You didn’t expect him to be such a dick so quickly.

Bakugou chuckled, “So sensitive.” His crimson eyes looked directly into yours, the smile on his face mirroring itself in his eyes. The teasing kindness behind them was enough for you to feel better.

“I’m not sensitive,” You countered, “You’re just an ass.”

Bakugou laughed much louder this time, his chuckle not very audible over the sound of the music, but you could still hear the roughness behind his voice that once again made your insides spin. After his laughter died down, you were both silent, letting the sound of music and people talking fill the air.

You were tempted, oh so tempted to ask him to dance.

You were imagining the feeling of his warm hands on your waist or the goofy dance moves he would display that would make you laugh. You looked down into the cup of bright red punch and you were sure your face looked just as red. There was no way he would dance with you.

“Come on,” Bakugou finally spoke up. You looked up at him just in time to see him snatch your drink and place it on the table nearby. He then grabbed your hand and pulled you through the gym.

You were right. His hand was warm.

You relished in the comforting feeling of his hand fitting perfectly with yours instead of being concerned about where he was taking you. He opened a small closet door in the corner of the gym. It was filled with random sports equipment, but also had a metal ladder attached to the wall.

Bakugou let go of your hand, and gave you a look that wasn’t quite readable before he began climbing up it. You stood still and stared at his backside, trying to decipher the mischievous glint in his eyes. 

After getting about halfway up, he looked down at you and hissed, “Come on, dumbass!”

Although nervous, you followed him, being careful not to mess up your dress. You heard the sound of Bakugou’s unlatching something and you were then greeted with the light of the full moon. Bakugou then disappeared before reappearing only a moment later, his hand extended to grab yours and help you up.

You gratefully grabbed his hand and he effortlessly pulled you up to the roof. You immediately fiddled with your dress, making sure it looked okay.

“Stop messing with it,” Bakugou mumbled as he pushed your hand away. “You look great anyways.”

You didn’t comment on the compliment, knowing that teasing him would make Bakugou freeze up and put up a wall. Instead, you let the blush on your face speak for yourself.

When he noticed your reaction, a small pink flush fell upon his cheeks as well. He looked down at his feet for a moment to hide his face before looking back at you. At this point, you had stepped onto a small concrete step and were admiring the night sky. The lack of lights and forested areas in U.A. made the stars brighter than ever.

“Why did you bring me here?” You finally asked after the silence settled. Your comment fell from your lips, once again creating waves in the merciless, restless ocean that was your relationship with Bakugou. You looked away from the stars to face Bakugou, who had been staring at you. From this angle, you were looking down on him, easily able to admire the way the stars and moonlight framed his sharp features.

Shocked, Bakugou took a step back and scratched his forearm, a nervous habit he picked up over a year ago. “To escape,” He replied simply, “To show you this.”

The faint sound of music filled the air because of your lack of response.

Bakugou was driving you insane. For so long, he barely showed any care for you and now he was taking you here. He took you here to escape from people. However, by bringing you, he was insinuating that he didn’t need to escape from you, but also wanted you to be with him during his escape from the world.

You looked back up at the night sky, trying to find an answer to your problems in the stars. “They’re beautiful,” You sighed.

Bakugou hummed in agreeance, but his eyes were more focused on the concentration on your face and the way it contrasted with your soft eyes and bright smile.

The pop music playing in the background slowed down dramatically, but was still clear. You noted how well the angelic music matched the peaceful and serene environment around you. Although Bakugou made your heart race rapidly, he also was a source of calm for you. He had been with you since year 1 and you both went through so much together and separately.

Reflecting back on these two years, it made you all the more sure that you and Bakugou had something special even if it was unspoken. You were never going to stop helping him because it seemed natural, as if the universe was guiding you in that direction.

Bakugou cleared his throat to grab your attention.

You looked back at your friend who was shyly looking at the ground. When he looked up at you, his brilliant, vermillion eyes were practically sparkling under the moonlight. He pulled his calloused hands out of his pockets and wiped them on his pants.

The air was thick with anxiety; your and Bakugou’s nerves were practically palpable under the brittle and cold night sky.

Bakugou lifted his hand in a cupping position. “Dance with me?” He stammered.

You couldn’t remember a time where Bakugou was so nervous before.

With the utmost care, you cautiously took Bakugou’s hand, immediately noticing how his powerful hands were surprisingly soft. Just like he would with an explosion, Bakugou easily and carefully guided you off your perch and pulled your close. The simple, instrumental music continued to flow through the gym and to your ears, providing a slow beat to dance to.

Bakugou’s hand continued to grasp yours as his other moved to your waist. You placed your hand upon his sharp shoulder and moved gracefully with the blond. He was surprisingly poised with his moves.

You felt Bakugou’s body heat as he pulled you closer. Your chest was now pressed against his and you bent your head down to avoid his gaze. Bakugou let go of your hand and placed his hand on your waist which led you to wrap your arms around his neck.

When the song ended, Bakugou pushed himself back while still holding onto your hands. He looked down at you, a faint, but satisfied grin graced his lips and his eyes sparkled with pride and happiness.

You couldn’t help but smile back, and you knew a blush had creeped its way onto your cheeks. Your heart was practically beating out of your chest. Never had you expected Bakugou to do something like this.

However, as Bakugou moved his hand to push your hair behind your ear and glide his thumb against your cheek, you wondered if maybe you should begin to expect things like this.

[stickyy]

could i get a reader x ururaka where the reader kidnaps her and forcibly 'protects' her by coddling her and keeping her in a soft room with everything she could need and not letting her leave, even if it means restraining, or even injuring her? tysm! i'm really looking forward to seeing your blog grow! (btw if you cant/dont want to write ururaka, midoriya or shinso are also good!) ♡

thank you so much for your kind words!! :D i hope you enjoy, i kind of went for a more somber tone bc i like Angst, so this was moody and fun to write!

warnings: yandere!gn!reader, kidnapping, very mildly graphic mutilation (hands and ankle), drugging mention, very vague vomit mention, angst, best friends to lovers (gone wrong) /s

word count: 1.5 k

note: the scene describing mutilation is sandwiched by two dashes (-), incase u dont want to read it :D

AFTERMATH

The pattering of rain against the kitchen window is loud, accompanied by the sizzle of food on the stove and the distant chatter of news anchors coming from your TV in a domestic cacophony of sounds. It’s a Saturday morning, and it would be a pretty relaxed one if not for the deep pit of dread in your stomach. You had a rough night, to say the least. Trying to keep yourself present, you rub the dark bags under your eyes as you tend your routine of making breakfast every morning. Maybe a meal between the two of you will fix things. You hope so, at least. You tune into the television in an attempt to distract yourself.

“... are still in search for missing Hero, Urav-”

You’re suddenly uninterested, shutting the cable off with haste. Breakfast is as good as finished, anyways. 

The house is quiet, save for the rain, and the silence settles as a sickly chill under your skin. Taking your time to ensure your footsteps are quiet, you head towards the door at the end of the hallway. The normally innocuous door frame looms over you and you want to shrink away, go back to a time where things were okay. You place the tray on the small table outside of the room, fishing for the keys in your pocket. There are 3 locks; two require keys, while the other is an opposite facing deadbolt. You make quick work of opening them, daily practice rendering you nimble. With the door open and the keys back in your pocket, you grab the tray and push the door in with your hip, your stomach dropping and your heart fluttering simultaneously at the sight of Uraraka, still sleeping peacefully.

You place the tray on her bedside table gingerly, opening the curtains to her window afterwards. The dim, muddy light wakes her, her form stretching under the plush covers.

“Good morning!” you chirp, over enthusiastic as you sit on the edge of her bed. Her hair is messy, skin splotchy from laying in one place all night (you give her sleeping pills at night, and they tend to keep her in one place). She rubs sleep from her eyes cutely, sighing before speaking to you.

She hums in response. Even when she’s angry, she’s always so polite, sweet enough to offer you any response after what you did to her. Her gentle voice, no matter if she’s laughing or talking or screaming or crying, is music to you. The noise does more to set you at ease than you’d like to admit, her voice like stitches to your wounded heart. You can’t help but smile, warmth spreading over your skin. You love her so much, it’s why you do what you must to keep her safe.

“Did you sleep well?” you ask, as you do everyday, setting up her breakfast in front of her. She’s silent. You expect as much, yet it still stings, and you spare a glance at her to see an expression you can’t quite read and don’t quite like. That’s all it takes for the pit to return, guilt and remorse stirring through your veins. You can only muster offer a soft noise in response, sitting back with your own plate of food. You start first, choosing to focus on the flavor of the food, the softness of the duvet, the rain- anything but the silence. 

But it’s so difficult; you want nothing more than to be able to ignore her, to not feel so attached and needy and sorry. She burns so brightly, even when she’s upset, and you’re a moth to the flame, unable to look away for long. You don’t even realize that you’ve scarfed down half of your food, but it’s glaringly apparent when you look to Uraraka’s food to see it untouched, cooling rapidly. You glance at her face yet again, and her forlorn expression prompts you to break the thick silence.

“Does it still hurt?”

She flinches but doesn’t respond, hugging her arms to her chest and turning away from you. The rain is deafening against the window, and you notice you’re not hungry anymore.

“I told you I was sorry,” you say softly, eyes unconsciously darting to the bandages on her hands, trailing down to her legs, obscured by the covers. She continues to ignore you. You can’t take it, you need to hear her say something, anything.

 “You know I hate hurting you. I hate it, but you tried to run again. Why? We’ve been doing so good, I thought you were happy! I thought you finally understood! You have everything you need here, and even if you don’t, I can get it for you. I’m not even mad, not anymore, so please just-”

“Just let me leave,” her voice is hoarse, and you can see stray tears trailing down her flushed cheeks, pained eyes trained on your face. You swallow, using all of your willpower to turn away from her gaze. You stand suddenly, taking a deep breath before heading into the bathroom, grabbing the first aid materials you left in there. You make the executive decision that it would be better if that conversation never happened, so you pretend as such when you return to the room, replacing your somber expression with a warm smile.

“Let’s get this cleaned up,” you peel back the covers and take a look at her ankle. 

-

Her shin is twisted slightly straightened yet still awkward in angle, absurdly swollen, skin littered with large splotches of wine purple, faded blue, and putrid yellow bruises. It looks like it hurts, and you feel yourself deflate, guilt chewing at your insides yet again. You’d never meant to do this to her, but you had no choice. Last night, while you were cooking dinner, you figured you’d let Uraraka keep you company as you chopped vegetables, seeing as she had been extraordinarily compliant recently. That was a mistake, as you had to act quickly when you heard the screech of the chair pushed back suddenly and the loud stomp of feet against hardwoods. You caught her before she could reach the front door, threw her to the floor, and in your irrational fit of panic you stomped hard, once, twice, three times, over and over until the sickening, dull crunch of bone snapped you out of your frenzy. In all of your time with Uraraka, both pre and post living together, you’d never seen her cry quite like this. Her loud, pained, fearful sobs made your stomach turn, and no matter how hard you tried to console her, she wouldn’t stop, thrashing to get your arms off of her. She couldn’t move far, and so you had to wait and watch her writhe in agony until she tired herself out, chest heaving, face covered in tears and snot and drool. You helped her to her room and quickly wrapped the wound, leaving her alone for the rest of the night. You were unable to sleep, hunched over the toilet for the majority of the early hours due to waves of nausea, crying spells ebbing and flowing.

(The bandages on her hands are different. Ridding her of her quirk was the only way to ensure she’d stay put. You’d had a few drinks, taken the largest kitchen knife you owned, and did what you had to. The wounds were cauterized and healed, but you kept the bandages on so she wouldn’t have to look at the scar tissue where the last ligament of her pinky fingers were missing.)

You clean her ankle, gently caressing the distorted flesh with rubbing alcohol. She returned to her reticence, save for small (cute) pained noises when you pass over a particularly tender spot. You take solace in the moment, cherishing the chance to take care of her. 

(When you rewrap the wound, you’re deliberate in doing it incorrectly. It will heal, but it will heal wrong, and then she’ll have to rely on you to get anywhere. The idea is tantalizing, and you suppress a shiver.)

-

“There, all done,” you grin up at her, surprised to find her looking back, expression exhausted but aware, awake. You pack the materials up quickly, climbing back onto the bed. You take note of her breakfast, undoubtedly cold now.

“I can heat that up for you.”

“‘M not hungry.”

That’s that, then. You decide not to push, instead opening your arms in a gesture of peace, knowing how much she loves (tolerates) your cuddles. She gives you a scrutinizing look, before nodding once, the only invitation you get. You move the tray to her bedside table, quickly scooting next to her and wrapping your arms around her gently. She doesn’t quite reciprocate, settling for just leaning against you, but you’ll take anything you can get. Your nerves are set alight, and you vow to yourself that you’ll never hurt her again. You know you did the right thing, keeping her fed and pampered and safe. You’d make up for it, devote yourself to seeing her smile again, even if only once.

“You’re not mad at me, right?” you can’t help but ask, always seeking her approval. 

She’s silent. The rain doesn’t stop. 

[catgrump]

oumota 42 for the angst/fluff perhaps?

Alright gang I’m diving into so many of my AUs for these requests it’s not even funny

WELCOME TO THEATRE AU! This ended up being a pretty decent length too lol I worked on it all day so I hope y’all like it!!!

For set-up: Kaito & Kokichi are both studying acting in my specific Theatre AU

🌻🌻🌻

Kaito looked at his watch and sighed. Where the hell is he?

The emptiness of the rehearsal room was daunting. A tiny room of painted cinderblock walls, cold linoleum tile floors, fluorescent lights, soundproofing boards, and empty furniture made of simple shapes.

Kaito had gotten to the space early, for once. He barely slept last night since this ungodly hour was the only time he and his scene partner could get where they were both free.

He leaned forward on the bench. The metal back was getting uncomfortable.

He looked back at his watch. Now he’s five minutes late. Is that like him? He barely paid attention to him in class. It’s not like he chose Kokichi to be his scene partner; they’re doing this for a grade.

“Sorry I’m late!” A sing-songy voice chirped through the door as it opened.

Kaito looked up and saw Kokichi: just who he expected. He wasn’t expecting him to be so chipper before 9 AM, though. How could anyone? Kokichi adjusted the strap of his messenger bag on his shoulder, causing the paper bag he was holding to rustle

“It’s fine,” It wasn’t, but this wasn’t a fight Kaito wanted to pick.

“Hey, your hair looks nice,” Kokichi told him as he gathered his stuff on a rehearsal cube

Impulsively, Kaito ran his fingers through his hair to try and remember what he did to it today— that’s right: nothing. He brushed through it and walked out the door because it was so damn early he didn’t have time to style it.

Confused and embarrassed— and confused why he felt embarrassed— Kaito replied “Yeah, uh, thanks. You too.”

You too? Where did that come from? Kokichi turned to him with just as much surprise as Kaito felt. “You think so?”

And now Kaito was on the spot. Maybe it was sleep deprivation, or maybe it was hunger, but he didn’t think he was lying. Nothing wrong with noticing a guy’s hair looks nice tied back, right? Just a simple compliment. Gritting his teeth, Kaito just nodded back in response.

He kept his focus on Kokichi as he explained why he was late. Kaito didn’t really care that much. They were both here now. They need to rehearse this damn scene.

But as Kokichi was talking about the line at Bagel Bros being longer than he expected, Kaito noticed how... clean he looked. Does he always dress sharp? A cardigan over a button down and some jeans that fit him... really well. He looked down at the hoodie and sweatpants he chose for himself and felt underdressed.

Kokichi put the paper bag on top of a different rehearsal cube and picked it up, waddling toward Kaito with his script dangling from his mouth

Kaito furrowed his brow, “Sure Kokichi, I’ll help you,” He sarcastically remarked at his obvious precariousness

Kokichi moved the paper bag into his lap as he sat down and put the script beside him. “Oh if I wanted your help, I would’ve asked.”

Well shit, seems like Kokichi can dish it as well as take it. Kaito shook his head and smirked as the bag rustled some more. Kokichi reached his hand inside and pulled out a bagel wrapped in a piece of parchment paper. “Here,” he shoved it in Kaito’s direction, “I wasn’t sure what kind you’d like so I just got a plain one.”

Kaito was caught off guard. He gently took the bagel from Kokichi’s hand, somehow worried he’d snatch it back like it was a prank. “You didn’t need to—“

“Oh then next time I won’t; thanks for saving me the meal points!”

As Kaito took a bite, Kokichi continued, “Maybe next time you can buy me breakfast,” did he just wink?

Kaito swallowed. Hard. “Hehe, just a little joke!” Kokichi chuckled as he took another bagel out of the bag and took a bite himself

For some reason, Kaito felt like that wasn’t entirely true. But he couldn’t think about that right now. He grabbed his script from beside him and opened it up. “So, how do you wanna do this?”

Through bites of food, Kokichi replied, “Let’s read through the lines and if we come up with any immediate blocking ideas, pitch them.”

“Sounds good to me.”

They read through the scene relatively quickly. No one spoke up about any ideas. They just delivered the lines. It’s only a three-minute scene, so it’s not like a read-through was a waste of time.

Kokichi chuckled as he flipped back to the first page. “You know, I really wish I could play Don. I mean I totally get why it’s you; I look way too young.”

“Yeah? Why’s that?”

Kokichi looked at Kaito, dumbfounded. It was almost insulting. “Did you read the whole play?”

Apparently the look on Kaito’s face was enough of an answer. “You didn’t,” he sighed, “Great, now I have to explain it to you.”

“Hey, I’ll pick up a copy as soon as—“

“No, this is important. We need the context of everything so we can actually block the scene. We aren’t just going to half-ass it.”

Kokichi took a deep breath and straightened his posture. He looked really serious. “So Tennessee Williams is Don. When he was in his late 20s, he fell in love with a dancer. That’s Dick. But “Dick”, AKA a man named Kip, didn’t reciprocate his feelings. So he wrote this play to cope. Like a catharsis. The whole thing screams 1940s, but I felt for Don. Knowing the object of your affection is just out of reach.”

He paused. He was looking directly at Kaito. Kaito desperately tried to read his face. Why was he so difficult to figure out?

Kokichi laughed under his breath. “Not that you’d know anything about that.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing you need to worry about,” Kokichi smirked

“Okay, so,” Kaito tried to guide the conversation back to the work they needed to do, “I guess we need to talk boundaries? If you’re saying that my character is,” the next words were unexpectedly a knot in his throat, “in love with you— your character... we’re probably gonna like, make contact, right?”

Kokichi still had that smirk on his face. He stood up with his script in hand, and started strolling around. Kaito followed him with his eyes, “Yeah, I can see Dick leading him on,” Kaito suddenly felt like he was caught in some kind of game, “Like at this part where he starts talking about Don’s eyes for the first time.”

Kaito had to crane his neck as Kokichi made his way behind him. And in the blink of an eye, Kaito felt an arm wrapped around his shoulders. “You don’t listen to me,” Kokichi read from the script, “you look at me all the time with those crazy eyes of yours but don’t understand what I say.”

Flustered feeling the waffle-knit fabric against his body, Kaito didn’t think to grab his own script. He leaned in to read Kokichi’s, making their heads touch, “I could if you said what you mean,” was Kaito’s next line

“I mean just what I say,” Kaito could feel Kokichi’s breath on his skin as they continued to read

“But what you say makes no more sense than— than hieroglyphics make sense to a man that knows just English.” Kaito had no problem reading these lines just a few moments ago. Why is he suddenly so tense now that Kokichi is this close?

And then he suddenly pulled away. “Well— like I said, I was joking,” Kokichi bounded away, embodying the dancer he was playing, but dropped character before continuing, “Was that okay?”

Kaito swallowed as he looked at the confident smirk Kokichi had on his face. “Y-yeah,” he rubbed the back of his neck, “Yeah that’s fine.”

“Oh good,” Kokichi smiled, “I could hug you all day; you’re stronger than I imagined.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Don’t worry about it! How about we take it from the top?”

Prompt from This List: feel free to send a request!

Tip jar available on Ko-Fi if you enjoyed it 💛

[dearest-bucky]

Something like love (One Shot)

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary:  Sometimes what you’re looking for is already there.

Words: 8.6K

Warnings: sadness, heartbreak then some good ol’ fluff

A/N: This is written for @ussgallifreyfics 700 followers writing challenge. Congrats on your followers darling and thank you so much for letting me join your writing challenge. <3  My prompt was the quote by Aretha Franklin “Sometimes what you’re looking for is already there.” I’m anxious to post it, I feel like I haven’t done justice to my prompt but I gave my best so I really hope you guys will like it.

p.s. I’m sorry @ussgallifreyfics for tagging you again in this, but I had to make a new blog and repost everything here once again. 

Originally posted: March 26, 2020

“You look very handsome Bucky.” She whispered the words with a small smile on her face and he grinned in return, obviously excited.

“I hope everything goes well tonight. It’s almost two months that we’ve been going out and I’m hoping tonight we could -”

“Of course!” She interrupts him, still sporting her sweet smile, but inside her heart was slowly breaking in pieces.

Bucky was her best friend. Only sometimes she wished he wasn’t. Sometimes she wished he was just another man she could maybe let know she liked him. But she couldn’t do that to Bucky.

She knew what he was going to say. But she couldn’t hear him say it out loud.

Bucky had been dating a girl for the past two months. They met in a small diner in Brooklyn, one where he would go often because it reminded him of the old times. She worked there was a waitress and she had seen Bucky going in almost every morning, taking an almost immediate interest on the broody blue-eyed man. And the rest is history.

Now, after almost two months, things between them were going smoothly and Bucky had never been happier around someone. He was hoping after tonight things could progress between him and his girlfriend.

Surely, it was logical. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt y/n to her very soul.

Y/n was seemingly lost in her thoughts when she felt Bucky press a light kiss on her cheek and her breath hitched for a second.

“I gotta go doll, it’s almost seven.”

She only nodded her head and he made a quick exit from the room, leaving y/n behind alone.

As soon as the door closed behind him, she felt her knees fail her and she fell harshly on the floor. Her knees would probably bruise but she didn’t care because at that moment her heart was hurting more than anything else.

She felt the tears stream down her cheeks, the sobs growing heavy and making it difficult for her to breathe.

“Miss y/n, it seems that you are having a panic attack. I’ve notified Dr. Banner to come to your assistance.” The smooth voice of Friday was heard through the erratic beating of her heart and she quickly wiped the tears from her face, trying to collect herself before someone found her in her miserable state of heartbreak.

“It’s okay Fri, I’m okay.” She spoke the words hoarsely and got up on her feet carefully, taking a deep breath and calming herself down.

She patted the hair out of her face and made her way to the door, leaving Bucky’s room for the safety of her own. Just as she was about to reach the corner of the hall that lead to her personal room, Steve called her from behind, making her stop her steps.

She willed herself to take another deep breath and turned around to face the captain.

“Hey, Steve.” Her voice was small but seemingly calm.

He reached her in two other strides and placed a hand on her shoulder. “You okay? Friday said something was wrong.”

His soft, caring voice broke her heart once again. Steve was the most amazing person in the world. Always putting the others before himself, always caring more than he should, always making sure everyone was okay and happy. And y/n hated to worry him.

“Yes.” She spoke, raising her voice a little, making it more believable that she was saying the truth. “Yes, I’m good Steve.”

Her eyes did not meet his as she spoke though, and that was what gave her away. She never looked people in the eyes when she lied and Steve knew that too well. But he didn’t say anything.

“Okay. What are you up to now?”

“I was just going in my room, probably watch a movie or something.”

“We could do that together?” His voice was suggestive when he asked and she couldn’t find it in her to say no to him.

She was tired. She just wanted to be in her room alone and hope to fall asleep to avoid all the hurt and pain in her chest, but Steve was standing in front of her, a hopeful glint in his eyes, coaxing her to say yes to his offer, so that’s exactly what she did.

They chose to watch on the common areas, as it was near the kitchen and the fridge, so it would be easier to have snacks. When they got there, she scrolled down on the Netflix home to find something to watch. They both decided on a comedy movie.

One movie ended and they put another one to play, not wanting to go to sleep just yet.

Y/n was feeling a little better, watching movies took her mind off of Bucky for a while and that’s all she wanted to do. To not think of Bucky and how he was getting lucky tonight with his girlfriend.

She was succeeding in her task until halfway through the second movie Steve’s phone chimed notifying he had a new message. She turned her head towards him while he read the text and quickly typed a reply of his own.

“Who is it?” She couldn’t help the question that slipped, but when Steve answered she wished she hadn’t asked at all.

“Buck, says he’s not coming home tonight.” His reply was short before he turned the attention to the TV again, totally oblivious of how y/n’s face twisted in pain, the pang in her chest making it impossible to stop the unwanted tears from spilling from her eyes.

She tried to wipe them quickly and discreetly with the sleeve of her sweatshirt, but Steve noticed her sad face nonetheless.

He furrowed his brows in confusion and paused the movie, turning his attention to her, worry written on his features.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

Y/n was caught like a deer in the headlights by the question. Nobody knew about her feelings for Bucky and she wanted it to remain that way. It wasn’t like it would change anything, only it would gain her pity from her other friends.

“Nothing.” She replied fast, killing her brain to think of a lie to tell to Steve. Anything would be a good excuse, but she came empty handed no matter how much she tried to think of something.

They were watching a silly comedy for fuck’s sake. What could possibly be the reason to cry at the moment?

“Y/n, look at me.” She listened to him and lifted her head slowly to meet Steve’s eyes.

“Now tell me what’s going on?” His voice was calm but determined, as if compelling her to tell nothing but the truth.

And that she did.

She told Steve everything. She told him about her feelings for Bucky, about the pain she was in because there was no way Bucky could reciprocate her love. She bared her heart and soul to the captain and only when she finished speaking Steve wrapped his arms firmly around her and hugged her closely.

“I’m so sorry sweetheart, I had no idea.” He whispered in her hair and she only sighed in his chest, not knowing what to say anymore. She was feeling tired from all the talking and all the crying and she only wanted to rest now.

Steve’s embrace seemed like a good place for that.

He kept playing with her hair softly until he felt her breathing even, he knew she had fallen asleep. Not wanting to wake her up, he waited until he was sure she was deep in sleep until he untangled his arms from her and laid her down on the couch, covering her sleeping form with a blanket and turning the TV off before he left the room.

The next morning when she woke up, y/n felt like every muscle in her body was frozen by sleeping on the hard couch. She wasn’t used to sleeping anywhere else besides her bed.

She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and got up on her feet, looking around for anyone else, but the place was empty. Even Steve was nowhere in sight.

She folded the blanket carefully before making her way to her bedroom, only to collide with a huge mass of muscle on the way there. When she picked up her head to see who it was, she was surprised to see Bucky in front of her.

He was sporting a huge grin on his face and she couldn’t help the warmth that spread in her chest in his presence.

“Good morning sleepyhead.” He ruffled her hair and bent his head down to kiss her cheek. He looked so happy, it was almost contagious.

“Morning, Buck.” Her reply was short and composed, y/n was trying her best to not let her hurt show in front of him. She tried to slip away from him and go to her room, but apparently Bucky wasn’t having it.

“Aren’t you going to ask me how my date went?” His voice was light, jovial, but it made her sick in her stomach. She couldn’t help the bitterness that slipped past her lips this time.

“Seeing how you didn’t come home last night, I’d say it went swell, didn’t it?” It was more of a rhetorical question, as she didn’t wait for his answer but walked away quickly, leaving a very confused Bucky behind.

Y/n didn’t want to make him feel bad. After all it wasn’t Bucky’s fault. It wasn’t his fault for having a girlfriend that wasn’t her and it definitely wasn’t his fault for not reciprocating her feelings. She knew she was damaged goods anyway.

With all the trauma from her past, she was convinced she didn’t deserve love, least of all from such a wonderful man as James Barnes.

Maybe her head was spinning, or maybe it was the room. She wasn’t sure anymore. What she was sure of though, was the figure of Bucky closing in more and more with every breath she took.

It burned. The air that got in her lungs burned like molten lava and she couldn’t stop the hurt. However, it all seemed to fade away when he touched her cheek with those cold metal fingers of his. The coolness of the vibranium soothed the pain as if it was magical.

“You’re okay. You’re safe. Keep breathing.” The words were hushed out in her ear like the peaceful rustling of autumn leaves in the wind and she had no other choice but to calm down and keep a steady breathing pattern.

“It’s okay, it’s all over.” His hands were cupping her cheeks and his thumbs were wiping away the tears that were staining her face. “You’re safe now doll, I’m here.”

Eventually she calmed down enough to be able to speak.

“I’m sorry if I woke you up.” Her words came out of her mouth slowly, but calm. Her hands touched his that were still resting on her face and she closed her eyes with a sigh, the feeling of his touch soothing, nourishing her soul with the warmth of sunlight she had missed so much lately.

“You didn’t. I was up anyway.”

She only hummed in response, not daring to open her eyes anymore to look at him. She was scared he would vanish if she did so.

After a few minutes of silence, it was Bucky who spoke again. “Do you want to talk about it?”

That made her open her eyes and shake her head no. She still didn’t say a word though, and Bucky wanted to get her to talk, to be sure she was there with him now, not still lost in her night terrors.

“Okay, what do you want to talk about, then?” There was a lightness in his voice that made her feel better already, but she was still exhausted from her nightmare.

“Let’s lay down again, doll.” His words were soft and careful and she complied without a second thought. He tucked her in and put a piece of hair behind her ear, smiling when she sighed in relief by his touch.

“Can you stay?” She asked in a small voice, timid by the request and afraid of the response she could get. She thought maybe she was stepping over a line there with him and it made her anxious for a second, but his reply came shortly after and eased her erratic heart.

With a sweet smile and a short nod of affirmation, he laid down beside her.

Up until that night, Bucky was just another team member, a co-worker like the rest of them, but that changed when he decided to lay down with her and spend the rest of the night talking about everything that popped in their heads.

When the first rays of sunshine peaked through the linen curtains of her room,  they fell asleep close to one another, worn out from the long sleepless hours of the night but with their minds calm and hearts at peace.

After that night they became inseparable, the best of friends. A special bond was created between them, a bond so tight no one could break, even y/n’s growing feelings for the man.

That’s why she kept her mouth shut all of this time.

Y/n knew Bucky more than anyone else, she knew what made him smile, what made him frown. She knew what triggered his insecurities and his pain. Y/n knew Bucky so well and that is why she never told him of her feelings.

It would crash him. She knew this too.  Because she knew Bucky so well, she knew the best thing to do was keep her feelings to herself and carry on as always, as the best of friends they were. She never wanted to hurt the man she had come to love so much during this whole time, so she only allowed herself to cherish his friendship, totally platonic, even though it was doing nothing but break her heart every time he went out on dates with women that weren’t her.

This time though, he seemed really serious about Allison, and despite the fact that y/n was in great pain, she had to he happy for him. She could never forgive herself if she stood in the way of his happiness.

These were all the thoughts running through her head the whole time, and she felt bad for snapping at Bucky earlier. She decided to take a shower and collect herself before finding him again and apologizing.

It wasn’t long before she entered the kitchen like a whole other person, showered and with a new goal set in her mind.

During the time she was in her room, she prepared herself to act normal around him, after all, nothing had changed. Bucky was still her friend and she wouldn’t lose him, especially not because of those stupid feelings she had been harboring for him lately more than ever.

“Hello y/n.” Vision was the first to spot her when she entered the kitchen and with a smile on her lips she greeted him back, next to him standing Wanda.

Bucky, who was sitting on a stool close to the counter, drinking orange juice straight from the bottle, turned his head to look at her and when their eyes met, her smile got wider, if that was possible.

“Hey doll.” He spoke up, unsure from their earlier encounter, but her smile let him know everything was okay.

“Hi Buck, did you train already?” She asked, just like she always did and Bucky thought maybe her words from earlier were just her being her grumpy sleepy self.

He hummed in response, his eyes following her movements around the kitchen, filling up a cup with hot, just boiled water, to make her daily blueberry tea.

He loved how she worked around the cabinets, bringing out the small packets of blueberry tea and the pot of sugar.

She slipped the tea packet inside the cup and let it rest, meanwhile sitting on the vacant spot next to him, and Bucky loved having her near.

“What are the plans for today?” He asked enthusiastically and y/n couldn’t help but squint her eyes at him.

“Not much.” She dragged her words out. “I have training this afternoon with Steve but that’s it.”

He nodded his head in understanding, but the glint in his eyes told her he had something else in mind. Her suspicion was proved right when he spoke his next words.

“How about you don’t train today?”

Y/n met his eyes briefly, before turning the attention to her cup of tea, stirring the liquid, waiting for him to continue speaking.

“How about you go out for lunch with me and Allison?” His question found her unprepared and she had to swallow the bile that rose in her throat, quickly sipping on her tea, trying to gain a few seconds to gather herself and her thoughts.

“I’m not so sure about that Buck.” She tried to keep her voice steady. She tried so much to keep her stupid beating heart in control while she spoke. Tried to keep her face composed when she answered, to not let him know in how much pain she was.

“Why, c'mon doll. I’m sure Steve won’t say anything for one day.” Bucky was oblivious to her discomfort and it was only making her feel worse. Luckily, in that moment, Steve entered her peripheral vision and they both turned their heads to look at him.

Bucky was the one to speak first. “See, here’s Steve. Hey punk, you wouldn’t mind if y/n missed training today, would you?” His voice was light and Steve smiled at how happy his oldest friend seemed to be, but when he averted his eyes to look at y/n, he was met with her pleading face, discreetly shaking her head a little no, praying Steve would get her silent message.

It seemed that luck was in her side this time, because the Captain shook his head no too, this time in a response to Bucky.

“Sorry Buck, can’t do that. We have an upcoming mission and y/n needs to train on her hand to hand combat. Actually that’s why I came here now, to let her know we’re starting earlier.”

Bucky grunted out of displeasure, while y/n let out a short breath she didn’t know she had been holding until now. She gave Steve a thankful look and a small relieved smile made its way on her lips.

“Okay, I’m up.” She replied, patting Bucky once on his arm and taking her cup of tea with her.

“See you later Buck.” She spoke behind her shoulder and left the kitchen, Steve following behind her.

Only when they were out of the kitchen and she was sure there was no way Bucky could hear them anymore, y/n let out a long sigh and turned to look at Steve. “Thank you for that.”

“Anytime.” Came his short reply. “What happened though? You know training isn’t until later in the afternoon.”

Y/n sipped on her tea and kept walking towards the gym.

“I know. Bucky asked me to go to lunch with him and his girlfriend.” She confessed defeated and they entered the gym.

Steve looked at her sympathetically, his own heart breaking from her pain. After last night, when y/n told him everything, he finally could see everything in a much clearer light. Suddenly everything made sense. But Steve was upset with his best friend for breaking this wonderful girl’s heart. Bucky was too blind to see what was in front of him, who has been there for him for years now and the only one who was hurting was y/n. Steve thought something like this wasn’t fair to anyone, least of all her, who was too sweet and caring for her own good.

It was late that night when y/n heard the knocks on her door. She was laying in bed, a book in her hands, and despite the fact that she wasn’t paying any attention to the words on the pages, having already spent more than half an hour stuck in the same page, she couldn’t find it in herself to close the book and go to sleep.

She was startled by the knocks and turned her head to see the clock on her nightstand. It was almost midnight and she had no idea who it might be this late.

However she called for them to get inside, and she saw none other than Bucky Barnes open the door hesitantly and enter the room with quiet steps.

“What’s up Buck?” She put the book aside and looked at him, waiting for his answer.

“Nothing doll, I just came home and wanted to see if you were asleep.”

It was weird, as if they were two strangers forced to talk to one another.

“I was actually just going to sleep.”

He hummed in understanding.

“Do you want to talk about anything?” She then asked, always trying to make sure he was okay, he was feeling good, always putting his needs first.

He simply nodded and that was enough for her to pat the empty space of her bed in an invitation. He walked to her bed and laid down next to her without a word, sighing when his head hit one of the too many soft pillows she kept around her.

Y/n turned on her side to face him and reached out for his cheek with her left hand, fingertips stroking his cheekbone lightly. He could barely feel her touch, yet it was as soothing as ever.

“Is everything okay Bucky?”

He nodded, not wanting to stop feeling her touch just yet. She continued caressing his skin, just as lightly as before, waiting for him to speak up.

“Yeah doll, I just missed you.” His words were barely a whisper, but y/n was standing so close to him, it was impossible to miss them.

A smile broke through her lips and she closed her eyes to let his words sink in. How she wished he missed her the way she wanted him to miss her.

“Yeah?” She asked as if in disbelief but her smile didn’t falter.

“Yeah” he nodded his head and closed his eyes, relishing in her soft, soft touch.

“Can I sleep here tonight doll?” He asked, hope evident in his tone, and no matter how much y/n wanted to say no to him, she couldn’t.

She knew it wasn’t right. He had a girlfriend that made him happy, and she had those feelings that were becoming more and more difficult to conceal, with each passing day. But with his eyes locked on her face, his small smile blossoming on his lips only for her, she was hopeless. She nodded her head in approval and it was all he needed to get under the covers with her, arms stretching out to grab her body and bring it close to him, her face hiding in the crook of his neck and his nestling in her hair, smelling her strawberry shampoo.

They both fell asleep soon after, the night quiet and peaceful, no nightmares or other disturbances whatsoever.

Bucky knew it wasn’t the smartest thing to do going to y/n’s room while he had a girlfriend who loved him, but lately the nightmares had been disturbing his sleep more often that he’d like to admit and the only person who can help with that is y/n. He feels like he’s using her to get his peaceful rest of the night and that makes him feel disgusted with himself, but then he thinks y/n is his best friend and this is normal for them.

Nothing is going on between them. They are simply two friends who help each other with the nightmares.

Y/n was woken up abruptly by three sharp knocks on her door. She grunted in displeasure and hid her face under the comforter, but that did nothing to help her as the person behind the door, decided to open it and enter in her room without her permission.

“Rise and shine sweet cheeks, urgent mission.” Natasha’s smooth voice was heard under the comforter and she opened her eyes in panic.

Her mind was only screaming one word: Bucky.

Luckily when she looked around, she was alone in her bed, Bucky had seemingly left before she woke up and despite the fact that she was grateful because she was spared from the knowing smirk of Natasha or any sassy remark she would be making if she found Bucky in her bed, y/n still felt bad he had left without saying anything.

She got up quickly and mumbled a sleepy “good morning” to Nat before starting to get ready, moving to her bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth, then putting up her hair in a ponytail.

Once in the common room, her eyes immediately found Bucky, who was standing next to Steve, listening intently to the captain and his instructions.

“Y/n, good morning.” Steve greeted her and she mumbled a ‘morning’ of her own before Steve resumed his explaining again.

It was supposed to be an easy mission.  With most of the team in the field, the only thing they had to do was tear down a few Hydra bases somewhere near Bulgaria and stop those assholes from hurting anyone again, then come back home. It would be ideal if no one got hurt along the way, but with their line of work nothing was sure. They could all try to do their best though.

Weeks have been passing slowly in the compound. Despite the never ending missions, training and everything else that occupied their lives as Avengers, it seemed like the hours were dragging one after the other dangerously slow and it was making y/n anxious.

She had seen everyday less and less of Bucky lately, it seemed like he was always out of the compound, apparently spending time with his girlfriend. Last time they spoke, he told y/n how things between him and Allison were amazing and he seemed genuinely happy. Y/n had no other choice but to be happy for him, too.

While Bucky was busy with his girl, y/n had found herself get everyday more close to Steve. With him being the only one who knew of her feelings for Bucky, it was easy to open up to him. Also Steve was a great listener and he always seemed to have the best advice.

They were together cooking dinner for the whole team. It was a rare occasion for all of them to have dinner together and y/n wanted to make something special for all of them. Steve volunteered to help and she happily accepted.

“Don’t forget to stir the béchamel sauce.” She reminded him and Steve quickly complied, rushing to the saucepan to stir the sauce that was simmering on the stove.

The deep melodious voice of Frank Sinatra was heard through the speakers while they both cooked and a peaceful atmosphere was created around them. But that was about to be ruined right about in that same moment when in the kitchen entered none other than Bucky with a pretty brunette holding his hand.

Y/n stopped in her tracks, forgetting momentarily about the task in hand, her eyes stuck to the joined hands of Bucky and his girlfriend.

Steve was just as surprised to see Bucky there with Allison. His friend seemed to be a little hesitant the last time Steve had asked him to introduce him to his girl. Now he brought her at the compound without telling anyone. His eyes left Bucky to avert quickly to y/n, and Steve felt bad when he saw the evident pain in her eyes.

He wished he could do something, but he was feeling useless, standing there silent, until it was Bucky who decided to speak up.

“Hey, guys. There’s someone I want to introduce you with.” His voice was light and happy and he seemed blind towards the awkwardness Y/n and  Steve were radiating.

Y/n cleared her throat and broke out of her stupor, quickly mustering up a smile to direct to Bucky. She turned off the heat of the stove, cleaned her hands with a paper towel and moved around the counter to meet Bucky and the other girl.

“Hello.” Her tone was polite despite the pang of pain in her chest from the sight in front of her; she had trained herself well for this moment, also sporting an easy smile in her face. “I’m y/n, nice to meet you.” She stretched her hand out for Allison to take, and the other woman did just that, a big smile adorning her sweet features.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, y/n. I’ve heard so much about you.”

Her reply was lively, almost elated and y/n couldn’t hate her even if she wanted to.

Behind her walked Steve who also introduced himself politely.

Bucky was watching the interactions between them contented, sporting a boyish grin on his face.

“Allison is going to stay over for dinner.” He informed and y/n nodded her head, the smile never faltering from her lips. It was like her face was stuck in that smiling pose, her features were frozen and if she tried to change her mimic, her whole face would break.

“Well dinner will be ready shortly.”

“Okay, I’ll give Allie a tour in the meanwhile.” Steve nodded his head and saw Bucky and Allison leave the kitchen, holding hands happily.

When she was sure they were both out of sight and hearing, she turned around and carefully slammed her body to Steve, hiding her face in his chest and sighing heavily.

“I’m sorry. I had no idea they were coming tonight.” He spoke quietly only for her to hear.

Y/n shook her head lightly and returned to the cooking. She knew Bucky had a girlfriend, it was about time he brought her to the compound for everyone to meet. No matter how much it hurt to see, Bucky was happy, Allison made him happy, that’s why all y/n was left to do was accept this and move on.

Soon everyone was gathered around the dinning table and Bucky had introduced his girlfriend to the whole team. She was seemingly shy and sweet and had a cute laugh. Bucky would turn to look at her every now and then and his eyes would shine with adoration, a stupid smile never leaving his face.

“It’s disgusting how sweet Bucky is around you.” Sam teased Allison and she giggled; actually giggled in delight like a schoolgirl.  Bucky rolled his eyes playfully at Sam but the stupid smile was still plastered on his features, like it had been the whole time.

Y/n only sank further down to her chair, trying to make herself disappear. She was mindlessly playing with the food in her plate, not having eaten that much, when she heard her name being called.

“Huh?” She picked her head up to look at the people around the table. She was distracted, seemingly lost.

“I said everything is delicious and lasagna is one of  Allison’s favorite food.” Bucky repeated his apparently previous words and Allison, who was sitting next to him, nodded her head in agreement.

“Oh well..” y/n tried to muster a smile while speaking. “I’m glad you like it.” Not knowing what else to say she turned her attention again to her almost untouched plate, fiddling with the fork in her hand.

A throat cleared discreetly next to her, and y/n turned her head to the left, eyes meeting Wanda’s.

“Are you okay?” The witch asked in a small voice, only for y/n to listen.

Y/n only hummed in response, knowing she couldn’t lie to the sokovian mind-reader and Wanda let it be.

The dinner passed without much excitement, only light chatter around the table and when they were all finished eating, they moved to the common areas, carrying the conversation there.

Y/n stayed behind with the excuse of cleaning up and Allison offered to help. After some polite arguing that she was a guest, it was decided that Bucky would help with the cleaning up and dishes.

When they were left alone at the sink,  y/n washing and Bucky drying the plates, glasses and cutlery in silence, Bucky decided he couldn’t bare the silence anymore.

He nudged her shoulder lightly to gain her attention and she turned her eyes to look at him in a questioning manner.

“You ok?” He asked hesitantly and she only nodded, not trusting her voice to speak up.

“Okay.”

The silence was disturbing. Bucky was feeling weirded out by it, yet y/n seemed unaffected, as if she was happy to not speak to him.

“So…” He broke the silence again, not one to resist the awkwardness. “What’d you think of Allison?”

His question caught her off guard, yet she tried to keep her composure, swallowing lightly before answering to him.

“She seems nice.” Her words were simple, but sincere nonetheless, and Bucky was looking at her expectantly, waiting for her to say more, so y/n did, never one for turning him down.

“She’s sweet and polite.” Her voice was small, but easy. “And very pretty.”

At those last words Bucky smiled sweetly at her. “And what’s most important she seems to make you happy Buck.”

Y/n sighed silently, having finished speaking.

“She does.” Bucky agreed and y/n couldn’t help it but be happy for her best friend, no matter how much she was hurting inside her heart.

The rest of the work was done in silence, until Allison entered the kitchen to look for Bucky. “It’s actually getting late, baby. Will you take me home?” Her voice was smooth and sweet and the way the word baby slipped from her lips, was so natural, y/n could only find herself unwanted among both of them.

She cleared her throat and excused herself, making a quick way to the common room where the rest of the team was. However she didn’t miss Bucky’s next words, spoken with a sweet suggestiveness.

“Or maybe you could sleep here tonight…”

Y/n actually felt her heart break in her chest as she left the kitchen to join the others. It was over for her. She had lost Bucky and every chance of him loving her back, not that there was ever any to begin with.

The weeks passed despite the heartbreak and the pain y/n was feeling. She couldn’t stop the time even if she wanted. In the meantime she had thrown herself in endless missions, never catching a breath, never allowing herself more than one day of rest at the compound.

After that night when Bucky had brought Allison to the compound for the first time, she was there more and more, that is why y/n couldn’t bare to be at the compound anymore. Everywhere she moved Bucky would be there with his girlfriend, kissing or cuddling and it was like rubbing salt in the open wound in her chest.

The best option was to stay out of the compound, and what better way than to throw herself on endless missions, away from Bucky and away from his romance with another woman that wasn’t her.

It was a little after 2 in the morning when she opened the door to her room quietly, entering with slow and tired steps. Not turning on the light, the moonlight filtering through the curtains enough to help her see, Y/n threw the duffel bag on the floor at the corner of the room and headed to her bathroom to take a shower.

Almost 15 minutes later, after thoroughly washing her body and hair, she turned off the water and went back to her bedroom, with only a towel around her body and her hair dripping little droplets of water on the floor. She turned to her closet to take out some clean clothes to wear and was about to remove the towel from her body when she heard a throat clearing behind her back.

Startled, she kept a secure hold to the towel before turning around to meet the source of noise and to say that she was surprised to see Bucky sitting on her bed, is an understatement.

“Bucky, fuck!” She couldn’t help the curse that slipped past her lips. “You scared me!”

He got up and walked slowly towards her. “I’m sorry doll. I didn’t mean to.” He sounded tired, sleepy. She couldn’t place which it was.

“What do you want here? You should be asleep.”

He stopped in front of her, bodies mere centimeters away and his flesh hand moved to touch her cheek lightly. At the contact, her breath hitched and a shudder went down her spine. It had been so long since the last time she had been this close to Bucky, and it was affecting her, not in a good way.

“I heard the shower so I figured you must be back, I just came to check on you.” Now that her eyes were focused on his face, she could make out the dark circles under his eyes. Worry itched at her heart. She couldn’t bear to see him like that.

“Bucky, have you been sleeping well lately?” She asked, concern evident in her voice and Bucky couldn’t help but shake his head affectionately  at her question. She had just come back from a long week mission and she was worried about him. His sweet doll, always taking care of him.

“I’m okay.” He answered, despite it not being the right answer to her question. “Are you ok doll? Are you hurt anywhere?”

She shook her head no and he sighed in relief.

“I missed you.” He spoke quietly after a moment or so and y/n let out a shuddering breath at his words. She was suddenly aware of how exposed she was in front of him and her cheeks heated up in embarrassment.

“I should get dressed.” She whispered, trying to escape the closeness and the heat he was causing in her.

He only nodded and stepped back, moving to sit on her bed again. Clearly, he wasn’t planning to leave anytime soon.

Y/n quickly picked some clothes from her closet and moved back to the bathroom to get dressed. When she returned to the bedroom a few minutes later, she found Bucky laid down on the bed, waiting for her to join him.

She didn’t hesitate to do so, craving the softness of her own bed so badly, his presence was just a bonus at this point.

“What is going on Buck?” She asked him when she laid down beside him. He didn’t speak, just kept staring at her face, as if he was trying to memorize her features under the moonlight.

“You look tired.” She continued speaking when he didn’t. “Is everything okay? Where is Allison?” At the mention of her name, Bucky stiffened and averted his eyes from her face to anywhere else he could only to avoid her questioning look.

Her hand came up to rest on his neck, thumb lightly brushing against his jaw and Bucky let out a long breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Talk to me…” She pleaded, voice low and broken and that seemed to work for him, because he met her eyes again before speaking.

“She’s at her place. I haven’t been sleeping well these last few nights so I asked her to go to hers tonight.” He explained.

It was strange, Bucky knew. For the whole past month, especially the last week when y/n had been on her mission, he had trouble sleeping, nightmares disrupting his rest. He would wake up next to Allison, drenched in sweat and get up from the bed trying not to wake her up. The last night he had a nightmare though, he was thrashing and moving around while living in his sleep the terrors of a past life he was trying so desperately to forget.

Allison stirred awake from all that moving and thrashing and she tried to wake him up, calling his name to bring him out of the nightmare. When he woke up though, he did so with a shout of a name she wished she didn’t hear.

“Y/n!”

His eyes were open in an instant and he was hyperventilating, while Allison was terrified of his state. She tried to calm her beating heart before talking to him again.

“I’m sorry.” His voice was hoarse as he spoke the words. “I’m so sorry.” He kept repeating but didn’t dare go close to her.

When his breathing evened out a little, he got up from the bed and took off his damp shirt.

“Go back to sleep.” He told her. “I’m going to head to the gym.”

He felt bad for lying to her but there was no way Bucky could tell to his girlfriend that he was going to sleep on y/n’s bed. He made his way to her room slowly and when he entered it, he didn’t hesitate to lay down in her bed, immediately his nose picking up her scent on her pillows and sheets.

Bucky let out a shuddering breath and closed his eyes, trying to imagine y/n close to him, helping him calm down from the nightmare he had, just like she had done a thousand times before.

Y/n kept stroking his skin gingerly with her fingertips, as if she was scared to hurt him. She couldn’t say anything. She didn’t know what to reply. Bucky nuzzled his face in her hand and closed his eyes.

“I missed you so much.” He repeated his words from earlier and kissed the palm of her hand. With her feather-light caresses he fell asleep shortly after, his breathing evening out and becoming steadier and deeper.

“I missed you too. So much.” She whispered back to him and let the sleep overcome her senses too.

Y/n knew Bucky would be out of her room before she woke up, just like he had done the last time he was there, so she prepared herself for that scenario. However, what she wasn’t prepared for, was waking up the next morning and finding herself trapped in his arms, her back to his chest, his face hidden behind her neck and his arms around her middle.

She felt him stir behind her body and unconsciously tighten his hold on her, mumbling incoherent words on her skin. It rose goosebumps all over her body and she couldn’t help but blush at the thoughts that were entering her mind.

She remembered though, that Bucky was still the man of another woman. Also, he had slept the entire time like a baby, never once stirring in his sleep in displeasure or pain. That made a smile bloom in y/n’s face.

She eased her mind and let herself fall asleep again in the comfort of Bucky’s arms, deciding she would worry about the other things later.

The next time they saw each other, it was a little more than a week later. Allison had returned to the tower a couple of more times, until tonight she decided to spend the night there with Bucky.

However, it all went to shit when he started having a nightmare, a little after midnight. His cries were loud and Allison was startled awake, but she couldn’t do anything to calm him down. She ran out of the room, knocking on the door next to her, calling out for help.

Y/n opened her door, half asleep, but was quickly on alert when she saw Allison scared and tired.

“He’s having another nightmare. Please, you can help him.” Her voice was shaking and y/n felt bad for the poor girl.

Without wasting another second she made a quick walk to Bucky’s room, only to be met with his still sleeping form, thrashing on the bed and crying out in agony.

She ran immediately to his bed. With a calm composure, she placed her hands gently on his shoulders, shaking him lightly and speaking softly to him.

“Bucky, it’s okay. You’re safe. Please, wake up.” Her words were soothing and she kept repeating them, until he woke up with a start, looking frantically around the room until his eyes met her face, half hovering over him.

“Y/n.” His hands found their way to her waist, encircling behind her back and bringing her down on him in a hug.

“It’s okay Bucky, it’s okay. You’re safe now. It’s over.” One of her hands was resting on his chest while the other moved up to his face, moving the hair from his face, then resting on his cheek.

Allison was watching them from the end of the bed. They were both so lost in each other, they had totally forgot about her presence in the room. It all seemed so natural between them, something she could never have with Bucky.

“Doll…” She heard Bucky’s voice call out for y/n and she knew there was no place there for her.

She softly cleared her throat and y/n was the first to turn around to meet her eye, looking embarrassed from the situation. She distanced herself from Bucky and tried getting up from the bed.

“I’m sorry.” She spoke quickly. “He’s awake now. I’m going to leave.”

But Allison only shook her head. She knew what had to be done. “No no, I’m the one who should go.” Her voice was calm and sincere, not an ounce of malice in her tone despite the hurt that was evident in her eyes.

Bucky got up from the bed and looked at her too. At least he had the decency to look somewhat ashamed, but Allison only smiled a sweet smile at him.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t who you needed me to be.” Her words were rushed out before he could say anything. “I wish you both happiness. I truly do.”

With that she was out of the room and also out of their lives.

Y/n who was sitting now on the bed shifted awkwardly in her place.

“Are you okay?” She asked and Bucky could only nod in response. “I’m going back to my room then.” And without waiting for an answer from him, she left his room too, leaving Bucky alone with the aftermath of a nightmare and the weigh of his thoughts.

Allison had left, and rightfully so. Lately more than ever, he noticed he didn’t feel anything for her, at least not what a boyfriend should feel for his girlfriend. It was for the best. He didn’t want to lie to her and keep her hopes up with a failed relationship. She was an amazing woman who deserved so much more than him. He closed his eyes and let out a long breath.

Y/n had also left. Now that was something he really had to think about. Y/n had been present in his nightmares almost every night since they came back to him, and only now could he see maybe that was a way of his unconsciousness warning him to do something about it before he lost her for real.

He didn’t know why though. Y/n was his friend. His best friend. Had been so for years now, so why would he feel the fear of having her slip away from his grasp? Suddenly the realization hit him like a wall of bricks.

It was like a window was opened in a dark room and all the light was finally inside, showing him what he had been missing all this time.

Now he knew why she was the only one who could make him feel happy when he was sad or upset. Why she could soothe his pain with the faintest of touches of her fingers, why she made him feel at peace, day and night. He finally knew what was that nagging feeling he got every time he saw Steve close to her and what were those butterflies in his stomach whenever he was close to her. His eyes fluttered close for a millisecond, allowing himself to absorb all this newfound information, then he got up from his bed quickly, sprinting to her room.

Without even knocking, he opened her door and found her laying down, silently sniffling with he head under the blanket.

When she heard the door open she picked her head up to look at him. “Bucky what are you doing here?” Her voice was hoarse and her eyes were red and puffy from the crying. Bucky hated himself for doing this to her.

He had done it for at least the last 5 months while he was with Allison, and he had done it before when he was an oblivious little shit towards her feelings.

He didn’t answer with words but decided to speak with actions for at least once in his life. He got in the bed with her, laid down beside her and collected her in his arms, cuddling her close to his body.

She picked her head up to meet his eyes. “Bucky?” She spoke his name in barely a whisper and he only looked at her face with adoration.

How could he not see it all this time?

“Y/n.” His voice was smooth, almost dreamy and she couldn’t believe he was there with her.

“Hmm..”

“I love you.”

Those three words were said with the most certainty he could ever possess.

Y/n blinked in disbelief once, twice, before he decided to put her out of her misery and slam his mouth on hers with a passionate kiss.

As their lips molded together as if they were perfectly made for each other, Bucky kept asking himself why he had wasted all this time away from her.

Their kiss grew deeper and he positioned her body on top of his, his hands resting on her waist, just feeling the exposed skin from the high ridden shirt.

When the need for oxygen became too much, they stopped kissing, but neither moved away from the other, foreheads resting against each other. Y/n was still dumbstruck from the kiss, she couldn’t bring herself to mutter out a single word. That’s why Bucky resumed speaking again.

“I’m sorry for everything, for every time I hurt you. Y/n, I know I don’t deserve you but I love you.” He spoke in a breathless manner. “I love you so much and I’ll be damned if I ever let you go.”

When she still didn’t speak, he was starting to grow a little worried. “This is the time you say something doll. Anything would do.”

She finally chuckled in response at his last words and decided to not ruin the moment with any word she might want to say, so she kissed him again. This time it was her who was in control of the kiss and Bucky was left once again breathless when she pulled away from him.

“Huh?” He let out in a short amazed breath.

“Well you were the one who said anything would do.” Y/n spoke up playfully and he pinched playfully at her waist, capturing her lips once again in a heated kiss.

Sure, they had a lot to talk about, but all of that had to wait for tomorrow, because tonight the only plan was to smother one another in kisses that were due forever ago.

[bellisperennis0]

Friends w/ Benefits

Word count: 1,554

A/N: Showing Daddy Bishop some loving. Just your annoying fluff. Gif credit to creator, found off Google. Thank you for reading.

Warning: None

---------------------------

Currently you were sitting outside Carniceria Reyes with both Angel and Ezekiel, chit chatting about your current situation. “Why don’t you just tell him how you feel y/n?” EZ speaks up. They had literally just tagged teamed you into admitting your true feelings you had for their El Presidente. “It’s not that easy Ezekiel. We agreed on No strings attached. We aren’t supposed to catch feelings.” You say, frustrated in yourself for allowing your feelings to get the better of you. “He has been really pissy and miserable these last two weeks without you. Trust me I would know! Apparently everything is Angels fault.” Angel speaks up, rolling his eyes. Both you and EZ chuckle “Well almost everything is your fault Angel.” Ezekiel says. “Shut up, boy scout!” Angel shoots back, throwing a piece of his lunch at him. “I needed to put some distance between us. It was getting too hard for me. Sleeping with him one night and then seeing a skanky hang around all over him at the clubhouse the next. I just couldn’t handle it anymore.” You sigh as you stare down at your lunch. “It’s Creepers birthday today and we are having a little thing at the Clubhouse tonight, just us, why don’t you come by?” Angel suggested. “I really don’t want to see him, Angel. I’m sorry!” You knew from the looks on their faces it was killing them to see you so down over all this. “We can come over and binge scary movies, like old times.” Ezekial suggested. The last thing you wanted were for them to put their lives on hold just for you. “No EZ, you both go and enjoy Creeps party. I’ve been working like crazy these last couple weeks; I have a bottle of wine, a bath tub and some sleazy Rom Com calling my name.” you slightly chuckle, as you get up from your seat. “I’m going to say bye to Pops, be right back.” Once you return back outside, EZ was on his bike putting on his helmet; meanwhile Angel was on the phone. “Yeah All right…see you in a few, Bish.” You hear Angel say. “Let me guess, Club shit!?” you ask with a chuckle. “Actually, he called to check up on you. Says you aren’t answering his calls. Wanted to know if you were showing up tonight, was disappointed when I told him you had plans.” Angel answers, you simply look down at your feet. Looking back up at the two brothers you give them a sad smile. Walking up to them you give them each a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll call when I get home. Drive safely!” you say as you go to unlock your car door, getting in and heading home.

After your somewhat emotional lunch with your favorite Reyes Men, you had gone home and took a nap. Waking up you look over at your phone and see a couple texts from Angel, one from EZ and a few missed calls from Bishop. Texting both Angel and Ezekiel back, you toss your phone back on the bed and start gathering your things for your bath. You had been soaking and enjoying your bath for about ten minutes when your phone began to ring. Grabbing it to see who it was, you hesitated when you saw Bishops name flash on your screen. You knew you couldn’t avoid him forever and you were honestly surprised that you were able to for this long. Sighing you answer it, putting it on speaker. “Obsispo!” you simply say. “Querida!? Glad you finally answered. Are you alright?” he asks. God, how you have missed his raspy voice, his touch, him! “I’m fine! Why are you calling Obispo?” you ask, silently kicking yourself for answering his call. “It’s lonely here without you.” He rasps out, the longing in his voice. “Aren’t you at the clubhouse with the boys?” you said, sounding more annoyed then you intended to. “Can I come over, so we can talk face-to-face? Please querida!?” he practically begged. Letting out a deep sigh you agreed. “Thank you, dulce. I’ll be there in twenty.” You smiled a little; you can just hear how he perked up when you agreed to see him. “I’ll be waiting” you say before you hang up. Jumping out the bath, you quickly get dressed and pick up a little before Bishop arrived. The sound of his motorcycle quickly approaching caused the butterflies in your stomach to begin to take flight. You cursed at yourself at how giddy you got at the thought of seeing Bishop.

Hearing his bike shut off you open the front door and lean against the door frame waiting for him to approach. The second his eyes lay on you standing there, he flashes you that gorgeous smile of his. “I brought some Chinese food, hope that’s okay?” he says lifting the bag in his hands up to show you. “I’m starving!” you admit. He walks up to you, pulling you close to him by your hip and placing a tender kiss to your forehead. You smile under his embrace; pulling away you led him inside, locking the door behind you. As you walk into your kitchen, Bishop was already placing all the boxes of food out onto the table. “Sit.” He says turning around to look at you. “I’ll grab some glasses and the wine” he says as he moves into the kitchen to grab the glasses and wine. You plop down onto the chair, taking a box of food and diving right in. You hear a little chuckle and look up to see Bishop standing there with wine glasses in one hand and the wine in the other. “What? I told you I was starving!” You say with a mouth full. “Clearly!” Bishop laughs as he takes his seat across from you. You both eat in a comfortable silence. Once you both were happily full, you began to pick up, until Bishop stops you. “Allow me, querida.” He says getting up, grabbing your hand to stop you. “Thank you!” you whisper to him, he simply smiles down at you.

You watched as Bishop moved around your kitchen putting everything away, almost as if this was his daily routine. You smiled to yourself with the thought of coming home every day to Bishop, to see him so relaxed and content as you have almost every time you were with him. “I can’t stand the thought of losing you” you say. Once you registered that that had just came out of your mouth, you began to silently panic. Bishop turned around to look at you, unable to read his face you had no idea what was going through his head. “I know when we started this we agreed to no string attached, all feelings go out the window, it was strictly sex. But I had feelings for you long before we started this. I just never thought they would be reciprocated. If only having you when you needed me was the only way to be with you, I was fine with it.” Everything was coming out like word vomit. As you were pouring your heart to Bishop you didn’t realize you had gotten up and were now pacing the room. Biting your lower lip, you finally looked up to Bishop. He stood there at your kitchen sink, you could tell he was trying to process everything you had just poured out to him. He pushed himself off the counter and slowly made his way towards you. Your heart racing, unsure if what he was about to say was going to completely destroy you or make you extremely happy.

He finally approached you, placing a hand on your hip and pulling you flush to him, his other hand gently cupping your cheek as his lips crashed into yours. Taking you by surprise at first, but you then quickly melted into his kiss; your arms wrapping around his neck to pull him even closer to you. Pulling away, he places his forehead to yours “You own my heart.” He whispers to you. A wide smile pulling on your face. “Do you mean it!?” you ask. “Why else do you think I came up with that stupid arrangement.” He says, you giggle. “why didn’t you just tell me?” you say, lightly shoving him. “well I could say the same for you, sweetheart.” He says giggling. “Point taken. So, what now?” you ask, not sure how to go about this new situation. Bishop just smiles down at you, grabbing your hand and leading you down the hall. “What are you doing, Obispo?” you asks as you follow him down the hall clearly heading towards your bedroom. “We got two weeks to make up for, sweetheart. And I gotta show you just how much I love you.” He says as he throws you over his shoulder with ease, and heads into your bedroom. “Obispo!” you shriek as he tosses you onto the bed. He quickly hovers over you, staring down at you with nothing but pure love on his face. He gently caresses your cheek with the back of his hand, “I love you!” he says. Grabbing the side of his face and smiling, “I love you!” you respond before pulling him down for a passionate kiss.

[floralguccistyles]

epilogue

...he probably loves you

After four months of dating Niall, our families and friends still couldn’t believe it. 

Apparently, Niall’s feelings had only been apparent to my sisters, because when we told our parents that we were dating, they had stared at us with supportive confusion. Niamh had mourned the loss of the five hundred dollars four our Jamaica trip, but she had thrown an arm around my shoulders and congratulated me. And then, in a surprising turn of events, had started crying when Patrick announced he couldn’t contain himself anymore and proposed to her shortly after Niall and I had made our announcement. 

Niall had just smiled his beautiful smile at me and pulled me closer into his side, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

“I’ve just realized!” His mom shouted in the middle of our movie. It was Greg’s pick tonight, so naturally he had chosen a Disney movie that Theo would actually be interested in. His wife had already dozed off to sleep, pregnant with number two and according to Greg, “unable to stay awake for more than five minutes.”

“Christ, Mum,” Greg complained, jumping from her loud exclamation.

“We can get Rose and Niall couples gifts for their birthdays!”

Niall raised his brow. I was curled up against him, my own eyes falling shut every couple of moments. The new job working for Eric’s brand was exhilarating and exciting, but it was a lot of work getting a start up business off the ground. Often, I would come home late and simply collapse on my couch while Niall took pity on me and made me dinner.

“Mum, our birthdays are five days away. Have you not gotten us anything yet?” he joked, his thumb running back and forth across my arm.

“You’ve always been hard to shop for,” his mum said simply, waving us off, her brain looking like it was going a million miles a minute with the new possibility of a couple’s present. “Not you though, Rose. You’re an angel to shop for.”

I grinned up at Niall. “I’m an angel,” I whispered.

His nose wrinkled. “Whatever.” But he quickly kissed my nose, ignoring Violet’s protest against PDA.

Violet was sitting on the floor by my feet, her nose buried in her phone as she waited on a text from the cute guy in her summer anatomy class she had a crush on. She had been hesitant to tell me about him, but three weeks ago, at one of our weekly-Thursday lunches, she confessed that he’d asked her to study with him. After hearing that, I had pushed and demanded she show me a picture and tell me his name.

He seemed nerdy and sweet. His name was Arjun, and he had helped her study for the final, where he stammered his way through the entirety of their study session before blurting out that he thought she was pretty and wanted to take her on a date.

They had been texting each other back and forth since. 

“Don’t make a big deal out of this,” she had told Lily and I while we gushed over how cute it was that she had a crush on someone, especially after her good friend started dating the last guy she’d had feelings for. 

Lily, on my other side, was leaning on the arm of the couch, her eyes slowly blinking in and out of sleep. She officially had her law degree and was going through what her coworkers lovingly called “Hell Year.” Her first year of being a lawyer and dealing with all the shitty cases was getting to her. However, she still managed to drag herself to our weekly lunches and had even mentioned that she had decided to go on a weekend getaway to London with Carmen, her coworker.

Violet caught me looking at her phone and shielded it from my view. I just playfully kicked her side.

After the movie, Niall drove us back to my apartment. It was nothing special, just a one bedroom, one bath. But it was mine. And while I still didn’t sleep all the way through the night except on the nights when Niall stayed over, I was working on it. I unlocked the door and let the both of us in, kicking off my shoes and flipping the light switch on.

Before I could take another step, Niall’s arms were around my waist and his mouth was on mine. I would never get tired of his kisses, of the way his hands would tease under the hem of my shirt and touch my heated skin. He always kissed with an eagerness, the kind of happiness that only someone who had been in love for a long time possessed. 

“It’s so hard to sit next to you at family functions,” he sighed out against my lips. I laughed, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Unlike my mother, I already got your birthday gift.”

“If you say my birthday gift is sex with you, I might actually have to hit you.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “That would be your birthday gift to me, Rosebud.” 

I knew he didn’t mean anything by it. We hadn’t taken that final leap into our physical relationship yet. He was cautious and I was still unsure it was something I was ready for after my incident with Kent. The group I had been attending had been a huge help and I got coffee with Wendi and Carlos (two sexual assault survivors I had met and befriended at group) occasionally. Still, there was a small part of me that wondered if I would ever truly get over it.

And I wondered if Niall resented that.

He saw the look on my face and his smile melted away. “I didn’t mean it like that, Rosebud. You know that,” he said softly, reaching out to tuck my hair behind my ear.

“I know,” I replied, “I know. I’m sorry I’m a piece of work.”

He shook his head, his arms encircling me and pulling me into his body. “You are not a piece of work. You’re the girl I love and will continue to love, no matter what boundaries you set. You know that. Nothing could make me love you less.”

I leaned my head against his shoulder, letting out a contented sigh. Every time he told me he loved me, I got butterflies in my stomach and my lungs stopped working properly. “You staying over tonight?”

“If you want me here.”

I rolled my eyes. “I always want you here, Niall.” 

He kissed me again, his lips soft and gentle. “Mind if I shower really quick?”

“Go ahead. I’m gonna make some hot chocolate.”

I watched him walk up the stairs, a smile on my face when he turned back to wink at me. When I heard the shower start up in ym small bathroom, I turned towards my kitchen and grabbed two disposable coffee cups and a Sharpie. Niall liked his hot chocolate made with the little chocolate sticks I bought at the store, so I poured milk into the saucepan and heated it before depositing one of the little sticks inside. He was also a big baby who demanded the little marshmallows, so I grabbed the bag from my pantry and set them on the counter to add to his drink later.

My heart was pounding. I had been planning this for a while, but just tonight felt confident enough to do it. So I poured his hot chocolate into his cup with shaking hands and raised the Sharpie to the side of the cup, scribbling down the message. I still had pictures of all the notes he’d written me, including the one from this morning, when he had written “love you more than you know, Rosebud.”

And he did. He loved me more than I could ever comprehend. The four months being with him, he had never failed to show me just how much. He held me when I woke up with a nightmare, kissed me on the forehead when I was frustrated with work, held my hands when I got home from group. But I’d realized the things he’d done for me before, too. Like picking me up when Lily couldn’t, staying on the phone with me when I asked it of him, always making me laugh. 

Niall Horan truly loved me. More than I’d ever been loved.

And I needed him to know that his feelings were reciprocated.

I heard him before I saw him. He was loud as he walked over my hardwood floors, chattering on about some thought he had in the shower. I should have been a better girlfriend and listened properly, but my hands were still shaking and I felt like my heart was going to leap out of my chest and run away. I turned, catching sight of him in his comfy black sweats and a white tee with that signature grin on his face.

“I forgot my shampoo at my place, so I used yours and now I smell like a lovely lilac spring.”

Just like that, my nerves evaporated. I didn’t know how Niall did that, make me so sure of myself, but he did. This man loved me. And I loved him. He deserved to know how much and not have me chicken out at the last minute. 

I walked over to him, giving him a little sniff. “Very nice, very manly.”

“Nothing manlier than using my girl’s shampoo. Just shows how much I love her.”

“Is that what it does?” I asked playfully, reaching his cup out towards him. He took it in his hand, bringing it up to sip at it.

“Hey, you put in the little marshmallows this time,” he commented happily, taking another drink before he pulled the cup back. His large thumb covered my small writing, but he caught the tail of the ‘y’ and maneuvered his hand so he could read it. I saw the moment the words caught up with him, the moment he registered what I had written.

I love you more than you know.

“Rosebud…” His voice was delicate, like it could shatter in a single moment. “Do you mean it?”

In lieu of a response, I took the hot chocolate cup out of his hands and set in on the coffee table. I grasped his face in my hands, giving him a watery smile. “Thank you for being patient with me. I’m sorry it took me so long.”

“You don’t have to apologize for anything,” he breathed out. I felt honored and cherished when I saw the tears in his eyes just from my simple confession. “God, I love you so much.”

“I love you too. So much.”

The earth could have collapsed around us. The ground could have opened up and swallowed us whole. All that mattered was Niall as he surged forward and kissed me hungrily, his tongue delving into my mouth to tangle with mine. His hands were tightly wound in my hair, but didn’t pull or tug. He just held me there, like if he let me go I would dissipate. He’d never kissed me like this, but I’d never kissed him when he was a Niall who knew how much I loved him. And he’d never kissed the Rose that had finally stopped running and admitted her feelings to him.

“My birthday present to you feels shitty now.”

I couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled to the surface. “This wasn’t your birthday gift.”

“You’re right,” he agreed. “This was more. So much more.”

He kissed me again, his touch sure and unwavering. “Thanks for loving me, Rosebud,” he whispered, repeating my words from so many months ago. 

So I decided to repeat his back. “It’s the easiest thing in the world, Niall.”

~

Oh my god. Wildflower is over. I cannot believe this. This started as a random thought in my head one day because I needed a good friends to lovers but with a twist, and suddenly Rose was born. This is the first story I’ve finished on this blog and will always hold a special place in my heart. Thank you to everyone for reading this little story and for all your support. I refuse to let go of Niall and Rose forever, so don’t be surprised if I write little drabbles for them, but I’m excited for what the future holds in terms of my writing. 

I give one big giant virtual hug to all of you. You don’t know how much you guys mean to me.

[tahitianmangoes]

The Beast in Me - Chapter One

Pairing(s): GN!Reader/Arthur Morgan  (Minor: John/Abigail, Kieran/Mary-Beth)

Summary: You never thought you'd be heading home to the ranch but after your father passed away and leaves the ranch to you, that's exactly where you find yourself. Nothing much has changed about Strawberry or the surrounding areas since you left... Apart from the rumours that there's something lurking in the woods. Something that isn't an animal at all...

Tags/triggers: Werewolf AU, Not canon compliant, gender neutral reader, mild gore, mild horror

Notes: All 3 parts available on AO3 

The beast in me Is caged by frail and fragile bars Restless by day And by night rants and rages at the stars

 ****

 You had never cared for scary stories, ghosts, ghouls and the like. You weren’t scared of things that go bump in the night and didn’t believe in the local gossip of creatures that would snatch up children who played too far from the town or strange sounds from the mountains. Ghosts and ghouls didn’t exist. People do.

**** 

Daddy had never really been the same since mama passed. He took it hard, real hard. You visited him twice a year if you could find the time but he wasn’t the same man who had raised you.

Maybe a part of him died when your mama had. And now the rest of him had died too.

Consumption, the doctor had said over the telephone; he’d hidden it pretty well from you, just telling you that it was the cold getting to his chest and you’d believed him or maybe you had wanted to. You knew he hadn’t wanted to worry you. The doctor said he had passed in his sleep. The ranch hand had found him the next day. It had been peaceful, apparently. You sure hoped so.

So you quit your job in Saint Denis and took the long train ride back home. Autumn in Lemoyne was very different to that of West Elizabeth. The days were still hot, the sun seemed merciless sometimes but as the train rattled into Riggs Station, it felt like you were in a different country. Night was drawing in already; it always seemed to draw in faster out west. You could feel the chill of wind that swirled around your feet and the few leaves left on the trees rustled melancholically.

There was no one else left on the train by now, most people had gotten off at Valentine so only you headed into the wood cabin that was the station, a far cry from the bustling Saint Denis station.

The clerk was busy lighting lanterns as you had walked in but he greeted you all the same. “Good evenin’. Can I help you?” “Yeah,” you replied, “do you know when the stagecoach will arrive?” “Arrive?” The clerk repeated, sounding confused as he went back behind the counter. “Well it just left not fifteen minutes ago.” You sighed before asking when the next one would come. “Not til tomorrow mornin’ I’m afraid. Where do you need to go?” “You know White Bison Ranch?” “Sure, I know it - out by Little Creek River... Wait! Are you takin’ the place over?” You nodded. You’d hoped to get there before it got too late but it looked like that wouldn’t be happening now, the sky was already bleeding black, like ink onto parchment. “Well I’m sorry, there won’t be nothin’ til the mornin’.”

“I could take ya.”

The new voice made you turn, startled. There was a man sitting inside the cabin that you hadn’t noticed. He stood as he spoke to you. “I can take you as far as Strawberry if that helps?” “It’s certainly better than sleeping here tonight.” You replied and he smiled. The man was tall and slender, his hair dark and down past his collar, his eyes a glittering hazel and kind. The left side of his face was scarred, as if he had been in an animal attack but it didn't make him any less handsome. He held out his hand to you. “John Marston.” You shook his hand and reciprocated his greeting with your name. “I’m waitin’ on a delivery from Blackwater, shouldn’t take too long now then we can get you to Strawberry.” He told you. Just as he said that, a wagon pulled up and a man hopped down, “Mr Marston? I have the medicines you ordered.” “Thanks,” John said gruffly, taking the parcel from the man almost furtively. You followed John Marston around the side of the cabin to where his buggy was. He put the parcel in the back then helped you with your luggage and then you got up on the buggy with him.

You made your way to Strawberry, the buggy trundled along the uneven road that you hadn’t been down in such a long time. “I’m sorry to hear about your father.” John said, “he was a kind man. Me and my boy, Jack helped him out with the lambing just this spring gone by.”

“Thank you... “ you replied. You felt guilty that you hadn’t been there to help; once upon a time it would have been you to help with the lambing though you remembered being squeamish at the sight when you were younger. You weren't no rancher, at least you thought you weren't. As soon as you had reached eighteen, you had left home in search of a better life and more money than what a dairy could get you. You’d headed for the bright lights if Saint Denis, not only was it as far away from the ranch you’d grown up on physically but in every other sense. The people of Saint Denis were nothing like those of Strawberry or the surrounding areas and you liked that.

You never thought you'd be going back like this but of course you had known your daddy couldn't keep on at it forever. You were the sole benefactor of the ranch and everything he had worked for his entire life… Which wasn’t a lot but it was enough for you to be able to leave your job in Saint Denis and come back home.

Home.

It felt alien. Yet as you neared Strawberry, nothing had changed that you could see. All the buildings and the people… Everything looked the way it had the day you had left.

When you reached the Strawberry hotel, Mr Marston stopped the buggy. “Here we are. I wish I could extend my hospitality to you more but I have to get home. I got my boy and my wife and my brother… He ain’t a well man and I need to help take care of him... We own the stables just outside o’ Strawberry, maybe when you’re settled in you could stop by?” “I’d like that very much. You’ve been very kind, thank you Mr Marston.” You got down from the buggy and so did he, he helped you with your luggage again before tipping his hat to you, bidding you good night and riding away.

The hotel was warm, walls were deep burgundy and a large fire was cracking in the main room, casting large, looming shadows. You weren’t keen on the taxidermied animals that were displayed everywhere, a buck, a mountain lion and most prominently a large grizzly bear that stood behind the main doors, staged reared on its hind legs with a mean look on its face.

The clerk was friendly enough and luckily there was a room available for you. “You came from Saint Denis, you say?” The clerk asked as he helped you upstairs with your luggage and showed you to your room. “That must have been one hell of a journey. Why don’t I get a bath ready for you?” “Sounds good,” you smiled.

The bath was hot and just what you needed after a long day’s travel. Once cleaned and dressed, you headed back downstairs to see if the hotel offered food. The clerk told you they did and you ordered and waited towards the back of the main room which now had candles on every table.

Towards the front of the room were two well dressed women sitting across from each other on plush sofas smoking and talking. “You tell me then, Willamina - What did Mr Jones see when he was out night fishin’ at Owanjila Lake?” One said a little hotly to the other. The one called Willamina laughed, “Mr Jones was three sheets to the wind, Francesca. He probably saw a wild boar or a buck and tried to save face when he came tearin’ back into town, scared like a little kid to his momma! What was it he said? Eight feet tall? Red eyes? Claws as long as butcher knives?!” Francesca bristled, “well, you won’t catch me going into the woods on my own, that’s for sure!”

“And rightly so, Miss Alehart,” came a man's drawling voice.

You’d been looking away, staring at the front of a newspaper that had been left on the table pretending to read it but really, listening in on their conversation but now you looked up. A man you couldn’t say you’d noticed had joined them, hovering by the sofas. He was tall, dressed in black aside from his hat which was cream, maybe in his early forties and had scraggly blond hair.

“You shouldn't go into them woods without precautions.” He told Francesca and Willamina, speaking each syllable of the word precautions quite deliberately as he reached down to his gun belt and drew his revolver quickly, aiming at the taxidermied bear in the foyer and mimed shooting it, “ya never know what's a-lurkin' out there… waitin’ for you…”

“Oh Mr Bell!” Willamina exclaimed, “don’t be so dramatic.” “Oh I ain’t being dramatic,” Mr Bell replied, his voice low and almost taking on a sultry tone. “The things I’ve seen out there,” he said gesturing to the door of the hotel, “why... It would make your blood run cold. O’ course, I could always help keep you safe… if you ever needed protection’.”

You could feel the atmosphere turning very awkward very quickly. You glanced over again. The two women had gotten to their feet “We’ll let you know if we ever need a man of your specimen to protect us, Mr Bell. Good evening.” Willamina said coldly. With that, they left the hotel.

Mr Bell didn’t seem too concerned and chuckled to himself. You were aware of his icy blue eyes on you from under the brim of his hat but you ignored him. At that moment, the clerk appeared with your dinner and you made small talk with him to keep Mr Bell at bay.

 ****

 The next morning you took the stagecoach to the ranch where you were due to meet Kieran Duffy, the ranch hand who had been helping your daddy out over the last few years. It felt strange coming back to the ranch after all this time. You remembered the trail as if it were only last week that you had ridden it, even some of the trees seemed the same and the way the trail dipped here and there had a comforting familiarity about it.

The stagecoach pulled up to the mouth of the ranch and Kieran almost ran out to greet you. He was a skinny man, with wide, light eyes peering out beneath the wide brim of his hat. He shook your hand enthusiastically, “your daddy was always talkin’ bout you. It’s a shame you didn’t get to be with him in the end… proud man your daddy, didn’t even want to accept my help even when he couldn’t walk but three steps without needin’ to rest!”

Maybe Kieran could see that he’d been a little insensitive because his eyes widened further still. “I… I uh… He was peaceful at the end.” The doctor had told you that much. You smiled weakly at Kieran, aware that it may come off as more of a grimace. He did his best to smile back. “Why don’t I show you round? Must have changed a bit since you was last here.”

It hadn’t, it really hadn’t. The house and barn still looked the same, even down to the same white paint peeling from the exterior. Kieran showed you the animals, sheep and a few dairy cows and around the back were chickens. "Mr Watson Jr from the general store comes by on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays to collect eggs and milk,” Kieran explained.

By the side of the house was a small stable with a couple of horses inside, a palomino morgan named Cash and a black and white appaloosa called Domino. “They’re both fine horses. Cash is better for shorter distances but Domino is better for longer hauls and doesn't scare so easily,” Kieran said, patting them both fondly on the muzzle before giving each a sugar cube.

Sat on the porch was a fawn coloured chesapeake bay retriever who perked up when it saw Kieran approach. “This is Bran, he’s real good at keepin’ foxes and greedy coyotes away from the chickens.” Bran barked playfully at this, as if he understood what Kieran was saying. Kieran leaned down to scratch the dog behind the ear before looking back up at you and swallowing, “uh… I... Maybe you’d wanna take a look in the house by yourself?” You nodded at him. “Thank you, Mr Duffy.”

That smell. The scent of home knocked all the air out of your lungs and filled you from top to bottom and edge to edge. Autumn leaves, wood shavings, something warm that you couldn’t quite place. Home. Your home. The home you had grown up in and then eventually left.

It was silent inside. Still. You could hear the clock ticking in the kitchen. Outside Bran barked again. You felt comforted yet also like you shouldn’t be there, like a trespasser. Your fingertips glided along the wooden bannister as you ascended the stairs and looked in your old bedroom. A knot formed in your chest when you saw that it had been left exactly the way it had been when you left for Saint Denis almost six year ago. Your bed was freshly made, as if it had been expecting you to come back some day. And now you had.

You swallowed as you crept back down the corridor and towards your parents room; the room the doctor had informed you that daddy had passed in and the same room mama had passed in eleven years prior to that. For one fleeting second, you thought, maybe you would die in here too. You shook the thought away. Silly.

The windows of the bedroom were open and the cold breeze ripped through the room so much so that you shivered. Folding your arms across your chest, you went back downstairs and outside to Kieran who offered to help you unpack.

You soon discovered that Kieran Duffy was a kind and sweet man. He lived just outside of Strawberry with his wife. He talked about her a lot, real proud of her, said her name was Mary-Beth and that she wrote novels. You were glad of his chatter, the noise filled the house and it felt less empty. Soon enough however, the night was drawing in again and he told you he had to head home.

“I’ll be back tomorrow,” he said, an element of a question in the statement, “that is if you still need me to help out with the animals and such?” “Mr Duffy, what I know about caring for these animals can be written on a cigarette box. Of course I want you to come back tomorrow!” Kieran’s boyish face lit up and he smiled, “then I’ll be here bright and early. Good night.”

Kieran mounted his own horse, a flaxen Tennessee Walker and trotted down the path of the ranch and into the woods out of sight.

You managed to get a fire going in hearth in the living room, the crackling was comforting and reminded you of when you were little; you’d sit on daddy’s knee while mama embroidered and he would read to you - all sorts of stories about princesses and princes, about magical fairies or witches and people who lived on the other side of the world who spoke completely different languages. When you settled yourself in front of the fire, Bran padded over and lay down. He gave a big sigh and fell asleep. You smiled, “me too, boy, ” you said to him quietly, “me too.” **** Maybe you’d become too accustomed to the city. The wheels of wagons and horses hooves clattering on stone paths, people shouting and calling to each other and the whistle departing trains was something you could, and regularly did, sleep through but the silence of the woods was too loud. Eerie and almost frightening. You tossed and turned in your old bed, unable to drift off into a sleep that lasted more than fifteen minutes. Outside you could hear elks crying and the creaking of the trees that swayed in the wind. Animals chirped and screamed and you were reminded of those times that you were afraid as a child. You used to go into your parents room and whimper, “I’m scared..!” Your mama would laugh, “don’t be silly, sweet thing. You’re safe in here with mama and daddy.” She’d send you back to your room and you’d curl up under your blanket with your eyes squeezed tight shut, somehow the sounds from outside were louder than before. But you knew your mother must be right, she always was. You were safe inside.

It was around three o’clock in the morning when you awoke to a sound. This time it was different. It wasn’t just the scurrying of an opossum or a racoon, not even a coyote. You found yourself compelled to swing your legs out of bed, bare feet found the cold wooden floor and you walked across the room to look out of the window so you could see the rest of the ranch.

The animals were in the barn so the fields were empty. You could see the fence and the opening of the ranch, you could just make out the trail past that but the looming trees beyond that made it impossible for you to make out anything else. Maybe a flicker between the branches but maybe that was your eyes. You were tired.

You couldn’t hear the noise now, wasn’t even sure what you had thought you might see. Maybe a fox or even a wolf. You remembered there being all sorts of animals when you were younger, you’d even seen a bear running across one of the fields early one morning after daddy forgot to take in some honey mama had ordered from the general store.

Maybe you’d dreamed it. It had been a long few days. You lay back down but didn’t sleep until the sun began to filter its way through the window.

 ****

 Kieran was a great help. You had milked the cows before but even then it was something your daddy and the ranch hands dealt with more than you. You collected the eggs and fed the chickens while Kieran milked the cows and mucked out the barn. You felt bad but he said he didn’t mind, it’s good honest work and the barn wouldn’t muck itself. You supposed he was right.

“Say, Mr Duffy,” you said to him once he was done and the pair of you sat on the porch together drinking lemonade that you had made that morning for lack of being able to sleep, “you said Bran took care of the foxes, right?” “He sure does,” Kieran replied. “Just foxes?” Kieran half shrugged, half nodded, “sometimes coyotes. He had a cougar once but I think that was a fluke… He’s good with pests, too. Rats and the like.” “Ever anything… bigger?” You asked cautiously. Kieran thought for a moment, “I can’t say so.” His large eyes met yours, “you worried about the animals at night?” He asked, “'cause that barn is secure, I swear it. Mr Marston from the stables and his brother came and did a fine job with it. It was half fallen down before then!” You nodded. “Well it's comin’ into winter soon,” Kieran said thoughtfully, “so yer won’t have to worry so much ‘bout the likes of bears - not that you see ‘em that often no more down this way. All these new ranches and houses goin’ up... The bears have gone further into the mountains. They’s more scared of us than we is o’ them.”

You nodded. You supposed that much was probably true. You also supposed that you had just been tired the night before.

Even so, it didn’t stop you from taking daddy’s old rifle down from above the fireplace. It was rusted and looked a little worse for wear. You’d never shot a gun before, never really had to but maybe it would give you peace of mind to have a gun ready. Just in case.

The next day, you rode Cash into Strawberry, your daddy’s rifle stowed on the side of Cash’s saddle. You'd forgotten how pretty of a town Strawberry was, like something drawn on a postcard. You hitched Cash outside the general store, you remembered coming here with your mama when you were younger and buying the groceries. The store had been run by an old man named Mr Watson and sure enough when you entered the store he was standing behind the counter, like he had never left. To say you were surprised to see him was an understatement; he had seemed impossibly old when you still lived in Strawberry and now he seemed even older.

He was speaking to another man who stood at the counter, “here’s everythin’ you ordered Mr Morgan. It’s good to see you out and about again, you feelin’ better now?” My Morgan, who still had his back to you, shifted awkwardly; he was a tall man, his back and shoulders broad, you could see that he wore his sandy coloured hair long. “Yeah,” he replied gruffly. “And how’s the rest of the family? Mr and Mrs Marston? And little Jack?” Mr Watson asked, smiling kindly at Mr Morgan. “Fine.” Mr Morgan replied rather bluntly. “Well you take care now,” Mr Watson said as he handed Mr Morgan his items, “come back soon, I do enjoy our chats.”

Mr Morgan permitted himself a laugh at this, short and more of a bark. The effort made him cough, though. He turned from Mr Watson, covering his mouth as he coughed. It sounded bad and you found yourself wincing as a visceral reaction. His eyes met yours, brightest blue, like the skies of your childhood summers. He was handsome enough, his features angular yet not unapproachable.

“‘Scuse me,” he apologised to you, not making eye contact and moved away from the counter. Mr Watson greeted you then his eyes widened, “my my! Is that who I think it is? Last time I saw you… Well it’s been years!” He beamed at you, “you back to take over the ranch?” He asked and you nodded. “I am so sorry ‘bout your daddy. Fine man, he was. He’ll be sorely missed.” “Thank you, Mr Watson.” “What can I do for you?” “I was hoping you could help me with this…” You put the rifle on the counter. “It belonged to daddy, I think it’s pretty old but I just need it to shoot.” Mr Watson’s white eyebrows shot up to his hairline, “my word,” he chuckled, “I don’t think I’ve seen one of these since the war. Sure don’t make ‘em like they used to! You’re right, it certainly is an old rifle indeed… I don’t think I stock the cartridges for this particular model any more, I’m afraid.” You sighed. “You could always try the gunsmith over in Valentine,” Mr Watson suggested. Valentine was at least the best part of a day’s ride away. It seemed like an awfully long way to go in the hope that the gunsmith there might have the right cartridges for daddy’s old rifle…

“Sorry, I couldn’t help overhearin’...” It was Mr Morgan, he had been checking through the parcel Mr Watson had handed him. You turned to look at him, able to search his face now. His complexion was ashen and while his eyes were certainly striking, they were also bleary. He looked exhausted. “Can I see the rifle? I might have what you need. You passed the rifle to Mr Morgan who inspected it. “Could do with some cleanin’,” he muttered to himself, “but it ain’t in too bad condition…” His voice was low and rough but has a strange kind of softness to it.

He looked up at you, eyes an arresting contrast to his pallid skin. “I reckon I might have some cartridges lyin’ ‘round if you want ‘em?” “Really? That’d be mighty helpful of you.” “I’d be glad to help you out. Your daddy was a good man. I’m Arthur Morgan by the way.” He extended his hand and you shook it, introducing yourself. “I got a few errands to run but I could always stop by the ranch this afternoon if that’s ok with you?” Arthur suggested. “I’d really appreciate that, thank you Mr Morgan.” He smiled at you now and his face changed, he looked lighter, younger, eyes crinkled at the corners. You smiled back. “Then I’ll see you this afternoon.”

You picked up a few things from the store before leaving. Once outside you packed Cash’s saddle bags and fed him a carrot in preparation for the ride back to the ranch.

“Didn't I see you in the hotel the other night?” The voice made you start and you couldn’t help but gasp and recoil away at the man who stood behind you; he had blood slicked all over his hands, down his jacket and even some flecks on his face. You recognised the face, the ice blue eyes and the straw-like blond hair.

“Didn’t mean t’ startle ya. The name’s Micah Bell, I was in the hotel the other night and remember seein’ ya. You takin’ over the White Bison ranch?” You nodded hesitantly. “I’m sorry.” Micah Bell said though he didn’t sound the least bit apologetic, “I’ve been out huntin’ y’see," gesturing to the blood all over him. “That’s the game, huntin’. You saw the bear in the hotel foyer? I killed that one. Supply almost all the meat here in Strawberry, too.” You nodded again, not sure what to say to him. You unhitched Cash and began to walk him away from the store, towards the north exit of Strawberry. Micah followed.

“So you’re up at White Bison Ranch, huh?” He asked you, speeding up to match your pace. You nodded a third time. “How you findin’ it out there on your own?” Your brows knitted together slightly into a frown, “just fine.” You replied a little bluntly. “I’m only askin’ because there’s been a few people round these parts sayin’ that there’s something livin’ in the woods. Something that ain’t no animal.” Your frown grew deeper. “Not an animal..?” You repeated almost to yourself rather than Micah. “O’ course, I don’t believe that,” Micah chuckled, “you gotta be insane if you think there’s some beast runnin’ around in these woods. Probably a grizzly or a big cat and I’m gonna be there to get it.”

You stopped a little past the sheriff’s office and looked back at Micah. His eyes were piercing and you couldn’t maintain eye contact with him, feeling like he was looking right through you.

“So what’s the fuss about a bear or a big cat?” You asked, raising an eyebrow at Micah. “There’s been predators out in the woods ever since I was a kid and even since before then… What’s so different now?”

Micah’s lips twisted into a smirk, as if he had been waiting for you to ask that. “Real weird things been happenin’.” He said, a tinge of excitement to his tone now, “first it was animals that started goin’ missin’ a few years back - a chicken here and there or maybe a family dog and everyone just assumed it was coyotes. Then some little housewife over past Diablo Ridge said she saw something a-sneakin’ into the barn one night, took her husband’s shotgun and went to see what it was… She swore it was a monster, at least eight feet tall and covered in thick black hair with glowing red eyes.” Micah laughed at the expression on your face. “Horse shit, of course! But since then, everyone wants to see this creature. Plenty of people claimin’ they have but I’ll believe it when I see it stuffed and mounted on my wall.”

“Well it’s been nice talking to you, Mr Bell.” You lied as you pulled yourself up into Cash’s saddle. “I have to be heading back now.” Micah’s smirk hadn’t faltered throughout your entire conversation. “If you ever get lonely up there, you can always come and find me.” He said, “or if you just want someone who knows how to handle a gun.” You hesitated before answering. “I’ll bear that in mind, Mr Bell.”

You rode Cash at a leisurely pace, not wanting to rush back because you wanted to think about what Micah Bell had said to you. You were familiar with people in town gossiping, wild stories spinning out of control like Chinese whispers, usually cautionary tales to stop children wandering too far from their mothers or going into the woods alone. You felt better knowing that Mr Morgan would be coming along later with the rifle cartridges.

Kieran was taking a break when you got back. He stood up when he saw you coming up to the house where he was sitting on the steps eating a sandwich Mary-Beth had no doubt made for him. He waved enthusiastically at you. “How was town?” He asked you, helping you unload Cash. “It was… Interesting.” Kieran laughed, “Strawberry? Interestin’?” You laughed too and carried the groceries into the house with Kieran behind you. He helped you put things away. “Oh!” You started as you remembered, “Mr Morgan will be coming later on today.” “Arthur Morgan?” “Yeah.” “Kinda… Surly lookin’ feller?” “Yeah.” “Hmm.”

You turned to look at Kieran who was looking thoughtfully at the can of beans in his hand. “Is… Is Mr Morgan… Bad?” You asked, feeling a bit silly to ask such a childish question but you didn’t know how else to ask it. Kieran chuckled. “No. I don’t think so. He’s just… Not a sociable person, is all.”

You were certain that this was true but it wasn’t always fair to judge a book by it’s cover.

Kieran was busying himself with the horses in the stables while you were going through some of daddy’s things in the house. You had asked Kieran if there was anything you could do to help him but he seemed capable enough of doing it all on his own and if anything, you were more of a hindrance.

It was around three o’clock when a silver dapple pinto Missouri foxtrotter made its way up the trail towards the house with Arthur Morgan astride it. You hadn’t forgotten about the handsome stranger who was coming to visit you and went out onto the porch to greet him.

The afternoon had turned colder than the morning despite the sun being high in the sky and Arthur was now wearing a longline olive coloured woollen coat and around his neck, he wore a black neckerchief. As he greeted you, you could see his breath in front of him. “Mr Morgan, thank you for coming!” “Of course,” he said to you, he looked a little better than earlier. “Why don’t you show me that rifle again?” You guided Arthur back into the house, the rifle was lying on the kitchen table. Arthur set a heavy leather satchel down on the table with a clunk and took out a few things - some boxes of cartridges and gun oil.

“It needs a decent clean before you load it up and go shootin’ at muskrats,” Arthur joked and you smiled. He showed you how to take the gun apart and how to clean it. “It needs regular care, think of it like brushin’ your horse.” Arthur pushed the rifle towards you. “Why don’t you try.” You cleaned the gun carefully and Arthur watched you. “Heard you met my brother John the other day,” Arthur said. You hadn’t been sure from the conversation you overheard in the general store whether John was Arthur’s brother or not but this confirmed it. They didn’t look alike at all, John was much leaner compared to Arthur, even their faces were completely different - John had sharp features and suspicious eyes. Arthur, while not the conversationalist had a certain warmth about him that you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

“He really helped me out when I got here,” you replied, “took me to the hotel in Strawberry, otherwise I’d have been stuck at the station all night.” A smirk tugged at Arthur’s lips, “that sounds like John.”

Once the gun was cleaned, Arthur showed you how to put it back together. “You know how to shoot this thing?” You felt a faint blush play across your face and you shook your head in response. Arthur laughed softly, “I got some time before I gotta get back… I could show you, if you wanted?” “Only if you’re sure.” There was that smile again. “I’m sure.”

The pair of you walked out to the fields in front of the house.

“You gotta stand straight and hold steady.” Arthur told you, “you gotta focus, breath slow and always pull the trigger on empty lungs.” “You sound like a seasoned gunman, Mr Morgan.” You said, you felt your heart flutter a little. Were you flirting with him? “Somethin’ like that,” Arthur murmured. “Here, let me show you how to hold it properly.”

 You spent the next hour or so shooting at a few empty bottles that you had found lying around as target practice. You took it in turns, Arthur demonstrating then your turn. By the end of it, you had hit maybe two bottles celebrating each time by hopping around with joy while Arthur chuckled.

The sky had turned a pumpkin orange and the sun had started to dip below the treeline, casting large ominous shadows across the field. Kieran had rounded up the remaining animals into the barn.

Arthur turned to you, blond hair looking golden now in the dwindling sunlight, “I really must be going now.” “Why- why don’t you stay for dinner?” You found yourself asking and you had no idea why. You had no plans for dinner but you were sure you could rustle something up. “That’s mighty kind of you but I don’t wanna intrude on your hospitality any longer.” “You wouldn’t be intruding at all, Mr Morgan. I insist.” “My brother will be expectin’ me back. I should go but thank you all the same.” Arthur said, his voice soft but also firm.

You suddenly felt very silly very quickly, a hot wave of embarrassment washed over you and you wished you could evaporate. “Well... Thank you for today. You’ve been very kind and I appreciate it.”

He tipped his hat to you and went to his horse. You watched him mount it, swiftly kick his heels into its side and trot away towards the trail.

You didn’t know how long Kieran had been watching but he smiled weakly at you as you walked dejectedly back towards the house with the gun slung under your arm. “He ain’t the most sociable,” Kieran said with a hint of ’I told you so’, “but he ain’t a bad man. You sighed. “Yeah, I guess.” Soon enough Kieran was telling you that it was time for him to get home, too and you were left to spend another sleepless night in the ranch house. Completed fic on AO3