#I put the stuff im most insecure about posting in the tags

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Just so yall know. Everytime yall respond to my tags im comin out onto tha porch with my shotgun cause yall vermits gotta stop goin thru my garbage.

[actualbird]

hi zak! I saw the tags you left on a reblogged post about Luke and suffering in relation to catholicism and that made me think. one of my classmates used to mention "the catholic guilt" (particularly about having desire), and I just thought it fits Luke so well. He felt so guilty about loving Rosa (and leaving her alone...) for so long T-T. Also, I'd love to hear more of your thoughts about catholic and filipino luke if you'd like to write about it!

irt to these deranged tags i left on this post abt suffering as salvation and luke forever ago, screencapped below for reference

hello hello! sorry this response took Ages but now im finally down to answer this so....

//steeples hands.....is luke pearce catholic coded? to Me, yes, and ive been casually throwing around this concept ever since 2021 HAHA. the filipino bit is actually just me projecting, so i wont go too much into that, but the religious bit Is something i wanna talk about. and i apologize in advanced for how long this response is gonna end up being

quick disclaimer b4 i start tho: im Not a theologian or an expert in religious theory, im just some guy who went through over a decade of catholic school and lives in the philippines, a primarily catholic country. this whole response is not saying "catholicism bad." it's more the institutions from where we experience catholicism from can twist it into something harmful, and i got to experience that first hand and how it affects one's view of themselves

ANYHOO, LET'S START FROM THE BEGINNING

like....the Beginning beginning

part 1: in the beginning, adam and eve did an oopsie so now we're all saddled with original sin (i swear this is important to luke pearce, bear with me)

quick recap on those who are unfamiliar: in the book of Genesis, god told adam and eve not to eat from the tree of knowledge. and then they did. this was the first ever sin in the history of humankind, and it is inherited by all humans through birth. so like, yay, happy entrance into the world, newly born baby child! you are guilty of sin already. this original sin is most usually absolved though through baptism, so it's not too much of a problem. but what im interested here is less of the nitty gritty semantics and more of the concept this all puts forth:

that under catholicism and similar denominations, a child, somebody who has not done any wrong at all, is inherently tainted by sin

now, the Good reaction to sin or any wrongdoing one has done is to recognize it and to atone for forgiveness. and within the "recognition" part is where guilt lies. functionally, guilt has a purpose. it makes us realize that we had done something wrong, it makes us feel remorseful, and it adds motivation to atone, to turn a new leaf, and to be better. in healthy amounts, guilt is useful and a natural part of being conscious over the things you do. and in unhealthy amounts, guilt is agonizing.

but thats for stuff you actually Did.

if the thing you are guilty for isnt actually something you were responsible over, the guilt cant do anything to make any of it better. you cant be a better person from it, because you didnt even do it. it just sits there, making you feel horrible for something that was out of your control. but because guilt is a Good thing to do, it doesnt matter if it's functional or not. it needs to stay. because it's Good, and the sin youre saddled with (whether or not you were responsible) is Bad

now let's bring in luke

luke's parents died when he was very young. this led him to living with mc's family, and a huge insecurity and fear he had from the beginning was that he felt guilty for burdening them, for stealing the love and care from mc's parents when that shouldve been for mc alone. the story SSR Shape Of You goes into this particular childhood experience extensively (and i highly reccommend it to anyone who hasnt read it yet), and tells us that his guilt was so bad that he wanted to run away and even erase himself from existence.

but luke didnt even do anything wrong

at the time, he was a child. he had no bearing whatsoever in the accident that killed his parents, he had no sway over who wouldve ended up looking after him, he had no control over the situation. like a newborn baby born under catholic doctrine, luke finds himself inherently tainted by and guilty for the circumstances that landed him to where he was.

this kind of pattern is going to follow him for the rest of his life, and the concept of inherent sin and inherent guilt begins to evolve. if luke can find himself guilty for things out of his control, then he can also find himself guilty for things that arent even sins in the first place

key example: love

like you said, luke feels immense guilt over loving mc. but why? love is the opposite of a sin, afterall.

it's just a sin when luke does it. because luke sees himself as inherently bad, and sees mc as inherently good. he sees himself as unworthy of her or someone who will just bring pain into her life, and causing pain someone you love is bad. if love is the knife he uses to hurt someone he loves, then that love is bad. that love should not be realized, and luke should feel guilty for even yearning for her.

by this point i think it's obvious that original concept has become twisted and overly punishing, even cruel. and thats because:

a lot of institutions teach catholic doctrine in an unhealthy and harmful manner. this is why many catholics and lapsed catholics experience The Catholic Guilt(TM). what was originally a pretty reasonable thing gets blown out of proportion from the places we learn these things from, and then getting exposed to this for majority of our lives lets it worm its way into our brain where it'll tend to stay

and if one's brain also has a tendency for self hatred and/or mental illness........well. it all gets worse.

it's clear in canon that luke is uhhhh not the most mentally well individual. his guilt is so overwhelming that it's the driving force in so many of his choices, stories, and experiences. which is big reason #1 for why luke just seems so catholic to me, because of the sheer intensity of his guilt and how he sees himself as inherently bad and unworthy.

but in the roadmap of sin, thats only the beginning. because the process goes:

sin (bad) -> recognition of the bad aided by guilt (good) -> atonement to become better (good)

which leads to big reason #2

part 2: suffering, pain, and misery as atonement

it's important to note that catholicism does not posit that "suffering is good", but there is a clear pattern of veneration for people who endure suffering under noble causes. many, many people in catholic history have been martyred (and many also sainted), one of the biggest examples being jesus himself.

pain is not good, but someone who chooses to take it on for good reasons (self-sacrifice, martyrdom, putting others above one's self) or stays good in spite of all the pain they experienced (unwavering faith, a heart of gold), well, THAT person is good.

however, like a lot of stuff in catholicism, things get twisted into extreme variations because of how it gets taught or experienced. it doesnt take a genius to see how "people who endured pain for good reasons were brave and devoted people" can transform into "to experience pain is inherently noble" when you take into consideration that many sins (like, of the seven deadly sins variety, pride, sloth, lust, etc etc) are variations of indulgence.

specifically over-indulgence, yes, but there's a dichotomy now. here, in the list of Good Stuff are things that feel not-so-good, and over in the list of Bad Stuff are things that do feel good

bad stuff is a sin, and from part 1, sins are things you should be guilty for

and now, to feel good is also bad, so you should be guilty for that. which reinforces the concept that to feel bad is good.

congratulations, you've unintentionally glorified suffering and demonized pleasure! //sad trumpet noises

you can see this kind of thinking pretty clearly in luke pearce. there are the big examples like the previous one i brought up, where he feels so guilty for his feelings for mc. but it appears even in smaller casual situations, like in his 1st birthday event story. this moment was seared into my brain

"can i look forward to this?" is indicative of hesitating in the face of happiness. even something as mundane as anticipating a birthday surprise is something to be approached with caution, feels too good to be true, to be allowed, because feeling good is bad and luke doesnt see himself worthy of it

but okay, we're all guilty now of the horrible sin of enjoying life. what comes next? atonement, becoming better, growing from the bad to become good, right?

and what better way to cleanse one's self from the sin of feeling good but through the nobleness of enduring pain?

luke is guilty over the sin robbing burdening mc and her family -> thats okay he's leaving for college anyway! wont be able to burden them there -> oopsie the NSB happens but hey at least this lone wolf suffering is a great way to atone for his past sin -> oh god the guilt of abandoning mc though -> oh GOD the mission that killed everybody but him -> NEW ACHIEVEMENT: SURVIVOR'S GUILT ON TOP OF THE CATHOLIC GUILT! -> oh GOD he's even guiltier now of his feelings for mc because of his illness, he'll only bring pain to her, how selfish of him to have feelings like this, bad and wrong -> the best way to handle this is to stay away from her to let her live in peace (lacking the pain that luke will bring) and deprive himself of her who brings him joy (inflicting pain of separation onto sinner as punishment) -> the path to salvation (to being good, because only in being Good is someone worthy of love) is through constant suffering and endless self-deprivation

kinda insane how luke's self-perceived sins and self-inflicted sufferings gain compound interest of misery, but his spiral into self-loathing is littered with this kind of nonsensical "because i did [THING], i should deserve pain/NOT deserve happiness"

for luke, suffering became the mode of atonement, it became the solution for sin and guilt.

part 3: conclusion

to wrap this all up, i wanna make it clear that i dont necessarily think luke is like, catholic in the story. nor is even it a headcanon i have. it's more that the intensely self-punishing thought patterns luke has in relation to guilt and suffering are very, very familiar. it resonates in a way that is horridly relatable to people who have experienced these specific catholic experience woes, but it can also resonate in completely different ways to other people as well.

but given that....yeah. based on my own experiences, all this //gestures at too-long response, is why i keep using catholic language and imagery whenever i talk about luke. it's so familiar. he's so familiar. luke would not be out of place in a filipino catholic high school crying during a 3 day retreat

thanks for the ask!!!

[the-owl-house-takes]

"huntlow didnt get enough time to get developed properly" true statement, we were all robbed of a third season and a lot of character development and chracter dynamics for many many characters and so on but its irrelevant to me cus i still wouldnt like it if it was properly developed. i know myself, id still be ok w it being part of the series but i still wouldnt have any interest in it and would find ship art equally annoying just cus i dont like it.

"if hunter was with a boy/willow was with a girl-" irrelevant, thats a different ship with a different character. there is no argument, stay on topic.

"bi/pan erasure or something along those lines" it has nothing to do with their sexualities and i dont care about canon or your headcanons or the characters sexualities none of that is relevant i just dont like them together as a ship

"huntlow antis/huntlow haters" be real. people can just dislike stuff without it being a big spectacle. do you think i put huntlow anti on my job resume or my tinder profile??? its not an identity, its just an opinion (also this is a salt blog. why are there sharks in the ocean)

"hunter having trauma doesnt mean he cant love" the grass is green the sky is blue i still dont have to like the ship and i still think hunters trauma takes priority for most people when they make huntlow stuff, maybe idk i have the tag blocked but ive seen some stuff and i see lots of arguments abt this. yes willow can be a rock for hunter but shes not supposed to be his only rock, hunter needing a rock is not supposed to be the only time they talk or interact, and there are ways to talk about hunter and huntlow without making it only trauma-related. i dont like the trauma-unrelated stuff either its still boring to me.

"something about willow idk i feel like people focus more on hunter when they argue about huntlow so i dont actually know any arguments about willow" willow is an underrated character and i love her but i still dont have to like the ship and i feel like a lot of the time people treat willow in general like one of her best character traits is Likes Hunter, or like shes hunters rock to lean on but never spin that around and let hunter be willows rock, and more often than not, somehow???, hunters trauma is still involved in willows insecurities or its used as part of how she heals from those insecurities?? like. can a girl not just say 'im worried about not being strong enough and being a burden' and not get 'when i was working for belos something something i thought i wasnt strong enough and i was wrong so ur strong too' and something like that like. a lot of huntlow stuff is like that ngl.

"just block people/the tags" I AM but like. i can still dislike it. and im perfectly valid in saying i think its annoying when i go to the tags and more than half the posts i scroll through are blocked cus its huntlow. im perfectly valid in saying i dont like ship whether i have the tags blocked or not.

"people can ship whatever they want" no they cant because i said so. the sun revolves around me. god watches me, his special little guy, fart and immediately cries in joy and throws a celebration party. (but also people are allowed to not ship stuff too like. it goes both ways.)

"so what are people just not supposed to make huntlow fanstuff" yes. i never want to see huntlow ever again my life. (but actually dont do that keep making stuff itd be sad if people stopped)

"everything you say is insane" ya

-

[carpisuns]

hello! i saw your tags on that ''if you would be so kind as to reblog this if you feel insecure about your writing skills'' post, and i just wanted to say that i love your writing SO much!!! like.. all of your fics that ive read are so good!!!!!!!! whether youre aiming for a more silly, goofy vibe or heart-shattering angst you do it so well and im amazed at your talent!

''tell me something i dont know'' is one of my all time favourite fics and i remember how much i enjoyed reading it (and crying my eyes out at 2 am adjahsf), and ''where roses bloom'' absolutely broke my heart in the best way possible!! And i loved your collab fic with botherkupo, ''two idiots and a hamster'' SO much, i seriously had to try very hard not to laugh ahdjskdhf. OH and im not in the toh fandom, but i did read ''The Death-Defying Flirting Methods of Captain Willow Park'' and i really really enjoyed it!! like i said, you write both angst, humor and romance so well and your writing is such a beautiful mix of everything!

Youre one of my fav writers on here, and i think that no matter what your goals are for writing, they definetely leave a big impact on your readers- your fics have made me laugh, cry and quite frankly im obsessed with them! I know insecurities dont simply Vanish from one ask lol, but i hope you know how much you and your fics (AND your art and just. in general youre such a nice person) mean to me, and all your other readers! <3333333

I kept this in my inbox for a bit bc it’s just so kind and I didn’t know how to respond 🥺 and then I started answering but didn’t finished and saved it in my drafts and forgot SHSJSK anyway. Thank you so so much!!!!

i reblogged that post kind of in solidarity with other writers cause i know insecurity is something everyone deals with. it’s weird because I feel like at all times I’m simultaneously confident and insecure about my writing lol. I have enough experience/training that I know I can like put together sentences and paragraphs lol but I still fret over pacing and style and characterization and stuff like that a lot. the insecurities make me feel kind of silly bc I feel like at this point i should be over them!!! but I can’t help worrying about how my work will be received by the audience. i am always at least a little nervous to post something new, and sometimes I am very nervous! Cause I just don’t know if it’s gonna land the way I intended.

And the most frustrating part for me is when I read something REALLY good and sometimes feel like pouty and jealous I guess lol going “ugh I could never write like that! I should just give up!” I feel like such a baby!! but I get over it quickly and I’m sure I’m not the only one who falls victim to Pouty Little Binch syndrome. (I mean I hope I’m not the only one or that would be extra pitiful 😂)

Anyway it helps me to remind myself that it’s a good thing that I don’t write the same way my fav writers write! we all have our own ways of thinking and expressing ourselves, and even when we take inspiration from someone else, the Us-ness of our work is always gonna come through. If that makes sense. like if my fav writer is So-and-So, it’s really awesome and cool to enjoy the So-and-So-ness of their work and break down why I enjoy it so much and even incorporate some So-and-So-type flavors in my own writing, but at the end of the day my writing will always be full of carpisuns-ness and that’s cool too! I just think as creators we are so close to our own work and we’re so in the weeds about it that we don’t get a clear view of it like a reader does when they’re coming to it fresh, and that makes us sometimes judge it unkindly. More often than not, your work is better than you think it is. Sometimes when a creator I admire feels down about their work I just wish I could let them borrow my eyes and see it how I see it, because it’s really amazing and makes me feel so much!!

Anyway, I probably got off topic lol but I just wanted to shout out to all the writers who are feeling down about their work. You are doing amazing sweetie!! Better than you think. Dont stop writing.

this is seriously such a kind message and it means so much to me that you would take the time out of your day to write this! 🥺💜 people like you who go out of their way to make others feel good are such a treasure. Im glad you enjoyed those fics!! And that u even read one of my toh fics when you’re not in the fandom? aaaa I’m honored! Blowing u kisses

[eggmuffinwaffles]

im sleepy and too lazy to find the post again SO any emojis you haven't got yet but wanna answer!!!!

kissing u and tucking u in

im gonna pick 3 bc im greedy and i want to its my blog i get to make the rules

🦋what are you most insecure about when you post a fic?

usually the ones where i put the most of myself are the ones im the most insecure about-> getting negative feedback for like. varigo being gay is one thing but getting negative feedback for the fic where i project stuff like my jewish diaspora trauma fills me with terror which is why i do not tag it jhskjfgkflk

🎀 give yourself a compliment about your own writing

i love how nerdy my writing is!!!! you WILL be learning chemistry if you read anything i write and that is a threat. em managed to pick apart which juice box fic i wrote specifically because it had nerd shit jammed in there and thats so powerful of me

💫 what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

the ones where people say ive inspired them, or they say they dont normally leave comments. ive only gotten that kind of feedback like once or twice but it has made me cry everytime its such. a special thing to hear. GOD ALSO the long comments. when ppl will copy paste sections/liveblog reading my stuff (em my beloved) its so GHRRGGAGAGh thats so sweet it makes me melt

[cynicjovial]

I found your thought about your own art on the personal post tag. You said you werent happy with what you draw but you still like drawing. In this statement, there is something negative, but a HUGE positive! This means that every "wrong" drawing won't terminate your will to draw, and that's ideal. Now; when i read those confessions and saw your drawing, i noticed that you don't seem... secure in what you draw? (1/2)

I want to respond to this to at least notify you that I have acknowledged it.

I understand what you are saying and know what you are talking about, but I still have problems to apply that to myself also due to the fact that it still a little too vague to me in some points. Which drawings are the ones that feel insecure? Do my washi tape drawings look too safe? Can you make an example on one of my oil pastel piece to explain "moving in many directions"? It just... says a lot and nothing to me, maybe other people can get this immediately, but I can only look at my drawings and trying to figure out what is that other people see as wrong (not counting stuff like anatomy or skill errors) I know my last drawings are all same-y as I got a new set of gel pens and I'm having fun coloring with them but this is another thing. Most of the time making a picture is not putting my feelings down, is to try and replicate the image in my head because I wanna see it and it makes me happy. What I want to do artistically is to being able to make something and go "yep, this is nice and close to my vision!" I feel like what I'm doing already is going off with my feelings. I do vent art. I do tired doodles. Maybe my problem is not doing that enough and not posting everything on my social media. Idk I agree I do circle around my safe zone but it feels like to me and you whats that to me are two different ones.

This is one of my last "drawings" I did from exhaustion due to stress. I didn't want to draw but I forced myself to do it because I hadnt been drawing in days (you can tell by my latest posting schedule too). Maybe people want to see that and appreciate this kind of art more of the ones I'm actually proud of, I don't know, but making more of this would mean I'd have to feel miserable, and I'm terrified of the thought that I have to stop training in a certain way or ditch a type of drawing that I like doing because it's "not for me" or because I'm wasting my potential. Maybe Im too sensitive about this because years ago a group of friends told me why make pretty drawings when you should focus on making funny ones instead. it was a nice way to say "you're not talented enough to be on our drawing level but you are funny so you should stick to that instead of thinking of becoming an illustrator" and I know it was supposed to be a compliment but it's not to me. You are right I am insecure, about a lot of other stuff too

Is this a good piece or is it too all over the place? What is unleashing the process? Like I said at the start it's just not specific enough for me to understand the problem, I get the solution you're suggesting but not what am I supposed to recover from. My main problem I think that I don't get enough time to draw both what I should be doing and what I would like to do, and I know that makes my improvement very slow, and I think so that what you're trying to say is instead of trying to strengthen my weak points I should exploit more my stronger ones. And this is why I have issues understanding how not to "play it safe" I believe

I know this is a long rant but this made me think of my last drawings (and well that vent was like from march iirc) and my art in general and there is not a simple way to answer to this without bringing up my confusion. Maybe I'm also too detached to my feelings and the audience can see more than I do. I really don't know, sorry. But as for lately I'm liking what I'm drawing despite knowing that I can do better. I don't have the time to stress over it. I just wanna be happy.

[zaptrap]

i also want to ramble a tiny bit abt jay becuz yolo lmao it will also be under the cut (it's mostly replying to stuff u said) (sorry if there's typos)

Jay is such an interesting case of a character for me because I started out the show not liking him. Which is. Stares at my entire account I think my feelings have changed somewhat

DUDE SAME LIKE i barely even thought of jay and then ONE DAY something just? changed?? and ive been obsessed with jay ever since (i wanna say it was either ep8 or rebooted but honestly who knows at this point). like i still love cole, and my 2 favs being besties is so cute 🥺, but jays just like a lil rat and i lov him... Although I do wonder if my favs would be different if i'd gotten into the show at a different time, like if i'd had more time with newer seasons and less nostalgia chaining me to the older ones lmao.

Jay starts out as an asshole I don’t think anyone can disagree with me there (although honestly they’re all assholes in early ninjago they bullied a ten year old and left him dangling several feet off the ground)

I FORGOT THYE DID THAT TO LLOYD LMAOOOOO THAT POOR KID.... THAT WAS PROBABLY THE 3rd MOST TRAUMATIZING THING FOR HIM AT THE TIME, after his mom leaving him and his dad becoming lego satan

but over the course of the show you can see him start developing into a much more interesting character. He goes from being so insecure he's faking everything about himself to someone who knows who he is and is so genuine about it

dude i love characters who put on a mask/act to hide their problems its so fun digging into why they do that and whats the mask and what isnt and what masks are used for who and how people react to them and etc etc

now yea we could argue about whether his character was too uwu-ified post-season 10 but this is the FUN HAN POST SO WE'RE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT

jokes on you we ARE TALKING ABOUT THAT, MUHUAHAHAHAHAHA. my personal headcanon is that he just mellowed out after getting older and engaged lmao. or maybe its just his ✨latest persona✨ he's trying out or smth. the whole uwu-jay thing is really funny to me cuz both "whiny comedic relief bastard" and "uwu babu" are some of my fav archetypes in characters so the fact that jay gets to be both is like "yay! 2 cakes!" LMFAO. it was fun seeing him be a lil shit again in DR tho

(i was gonna grab a screenshot for that like i did with the hunted scene but netflix has bloCKED THE ABILITY TO TAKE SCREENSHOTS THE WAY I USED TO and i don't have them already and i'm too lazy to grab them from elsewhere so alas trust me he says it)

(netflix is so annoying dude like omfg)

i don't have any comments on the skybound-to-prime empire pipeline stuff, its all interesting stuff owo. emotional security+role model arc...

Also how was [jay] supposed to know literally all the rest of the groups parents were either dead, presumed dead, or had a toxic relationship with their kid lmao

Jay: ugh parents SUCK am i right? Everyone else: you have parents?

Jay's just fallen from the sky with a messed up eye and is incredibly distraught that all his friends are captured. And his dad just. The woRLD IS FALLING APART AND HE'S EATIN' SOUP-

LMFAO what ep was this from, im assuming skybound?

yea i think that's enough for a tumblr post anyways! If anyone wants any like. More logically thought out and direct thoughts about characters feel free to send me asks this was fun thank u zaptrap for this opportunity to scream about jay

you're very welcome! now make another 🔫/lh also i like how you wrote an entire additional essay in the tags LOL. idk what season lives rent free in my brain but its probably rebooted cuz...well yknow 😂. i like the scifi seasonssssss

---

I do wonder how Jay's gonna be in DR though like, he went from "insecure bastard" to "actually im ok" to "stuck in an eternal office" so like, is he gonna relapse?? does he just need some fresh air?? is nya gonna show up and all his problems are solved??? is he just, still ok but tired from gaming office "work"???? who can say. dude though, with nya already being sora's mentor, and jay already being an inventor, i could totally see them eventually just being her new parents. that'd be so fukin cute 🥺🥺🥺taking in a stray cat

god like there just isnt enough to definitively determine what's up with jay in DR. theres SO many reasons he could be ornery, between the office and annoying coworkers and presumably not seeing nya for what, 5 years????????????????????????????? wait has it actually been 5 years, icr if they ran into each other sooner or not. i think nya said smth about- ok yeah she did [DR1 ep4]

dude what happened to her the past 5 years

ramble about ur favs i wanna hear abt ur thoughts -zaptrap

HAN’S INFODUMPING ABOUT JAY... START!!!!

so like sgdkdhdkdhd I say Jay and Lloyd are my “favorites” but honestly it’s so hard to pick favorites out of this skittles squad like I love EVERY character for a variety of different reasons. I was going to also infodump about Lloyd but then I started talking about Prime Empire and then this post got. Long. So. it's just Jay I may infodump about Lloyd another day especially since I'm very Conduit Brained Rn but yea yea!

this is long so i'm putting most of it under the cut so y'all don't kill me for making a huge long post

I considered putting Zane and Sora on here as well since I’d also consider them my “favs” but like this is already gonna be. A lot of. Infodumping (also i typed THIS part before I even started and decided not to yell about Lloyd because this already got long enough). Maybe I’ll make a separate post for those two hmm hmm much to consider but for now MY (technically) FAVORITE NINJAGO CHARACTER: JAY WALKER

THE SPARKPLUG WHO INVADED MY BRAIN LIKE A PARASITE

so hey his name is a pun this makes me laugh ridiculously hard every time I remember he is named. After a misdemeanor HSKSHDKFH

Jay is such an interesting case of a character for me because I started out the show not liking him. Which is. Stares at my entire account I think my feelings have changed somewhat

Jay starts out as an asshole I don’t think anyone can disagree with me there (although honestly they’re all assholes in early ninjago they bullied a ten year old and left him dangling several feet off the ground) but over the course of the show you can see him start developing into a much more interesting character. He goes from being so insecure he's faking everything about himself to someone who knows who he is and is so genuine about it

now yea we could argue about whether his character was too uwu-ified post-season 10 but this is the FUN HAN POST SO WE'RE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT the point is you can SEE the growth that Jay has gone through and I am going to show you that growth through what I call

✨ The Skybound to Prime Empire Effect ✨

I AM SO PASSIONATE ABOUT THE IDEA THAT PRIME EMPIRE WAS WRITTEN TO BE A DIRECT PARALLEL OF SKYBOUND AND WAS CENTERED ON SHOWING HOW THE NINJA ESPECIALLY JAY HAVE GROWN THROUGHOUT THE SEASON

when season 12 rolls around we are at the point in Jay's development where he is CONFIDENT in who he is. He's a fun-loving jokester with the power of lightning and the drive to help people whenever he can. He uses jokes and humor to help alleviate tension and get people through whatever's happening. And when on his own what does he do?

BECOME AN ENTERTAINER BABEY

i like to think jay's club in prime empire was a safe haven for anyone stuck in the game who figured out hey. we Can't Leave and felt freaked about it. Also Jay would generally try and spread the word that hey something ISN'T RIGHT HERE which would lead people to want to stay with him

(totally plugging my friend's fic but this kind of thing is explored in would you like to enter prime empire by @finn-m-corvex y'all should check it out cool cool)

also the prime empire shorts which i watched all of in the midst of typing this video cuz i love them go watch them please please please jay was publically fighting the red visors which I imagine may have raised some red flags for some players

THIS SOMEHOW TURNED INTO PRIME EMPIRE INFODUMPING LMAO ANYWAYS Jay's confident! He becomes an entertainer because it's who he knows he is! And it's something that will get people hyped and having fun, which is very in-character for Jay to do! He uses those kinds of things to mask the Bad Things going on and get people remembering what's good

I've talked about this sort of thing before but that's Jay's whole philosophy as early as season 9! Which is a DIRECT contrast to how he views it in season 6, as Nadakhan puts it scarily accurately

"You make jokes to mask the fact that you're afraid"

(i was gonna grab a screenshot for that like i did with the hunted scene but netflix has bloCKED THE ABILITY TO TAKE SCREENSHOTS THE WAY I USED TO and i don't have them already and i'm too lazy to grab them from elsewhere so alas trust me he says it)

making jokes to hide your fear and using humor to remind yourself of what's good and coping with the bad are two VERY different outlooks on it

so I think this outlook is what drives him to make this glamrock persona in the first place - this is a bad situation, one he's in with other civilians, and what better way to keep him and themself safe until the others get there than throwing a big performance at a safe place!

also it's just so gender okay I want to look like Superstar Rockin' Jay so badly

it's also interesting to see his outlook on his parents change over time! In season six he finds out Ed and Edna aren't his birth parents and feels upset about it, not understanding why his birth parents would've abandoned him. In season twelve, that outlook changing is EXACTLY why Jay's able to get through to Unagami

"I was abandoned by my parents, too!... I never understood why, and I never had the chance to even ask. But I always hoped there was a good reason. What if there's a reason?"

(again curse you netflix i wanted SCREENSHOTS whatever whatever)

It's this scene that gets Unagami to calm down long enough for Milton Dyer to get there, and presumably is what stops him from just. Flattening him and Jay like a pancake.

to piggyback off of this i absolutely adore how Unagami and Jay consider each other adopted brothers in that one book I still haven't read and I hope he's in Dragons Rising at some point Unagami is my favorite "villain" (no longer a villain) in the whole show he deserves more screentime

like this is where i found out about this and it's plagued my mind ever since. i need to read. this book just for them

SO YEA OKAY Prime Empire is "Who is Jay as a Person Post-Skybound" to me also it opens up so many fascinating things about Jay. I rest my case

so backpedaling a little bit. JAY CARES SO MUCH ABOUT HIS PARENTS GUYS IT'S SO SOFT AND I'M sobs

like yea the first episode with Ed and Edna in it has Jay avoiding them like the plague but this gets explained very easily when you remember he was bullied for his home life before he became a ninja. It makes a lot more sense why he wouldn't want them around his new friends, assuming they'd react the same way. Also how was he supposed to know literally all the rest of the groups parents were either dead, presumed dead, or had a toxic relationship with their kid lmao

(Cole calling his mom kills me. Cole's mom is dead. I know they probably just didn't think that far ahead when writing the dialogue but it's so funny mans pretended to call his dead mom to get on Jay for not appreciating his parents iconic behavior)

anyways literally every episode Ed and Edna are central to (except like the one in skybound) Jay stops at nothing to protect his parents and it means the absolute world to me he's so much like them!! They raised an inventive little nerd and he will stop at nothing to make sure they're safe and it's. It's SO IMPORTANT TO ME OKAY

ALSO this is an excuse to clip my favorite piece of dialogue possibly in the entire show. Except Netflix won't let me now. So you just get the text dialogue

Jay's just fallen from the sky with a messed up eye and is incredibly distraught that all his friends are captured. And his dad just. The woRLD IS FALLING APART AND HE'S EATIN' SOUP-

Ed i love you

anyways

anways anyways this just turned into me rambling about prime empire and then Ed and Edna and a lot of disjointed other stuff but thank you for this opportunity i was going to also ramble about lloyd but i put this post in a word count and

yea i think that's enough for a tumblr post anyways! If anyone wants any like. More logically thought out and direct thoughts about characters feel free to send me asks this was fun thank u @zaptrap for this opportunity to scream about jay

[person-personified]

I posted 2,409 times in 2022

35 posts created (1%)

2,374 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@hattalove

@ttimbradford

@extasiswings

@911bts

I tagged 1,766 of my posts in 2022

Only 27% of my posts had no tags

#911 fox - 708 posts

#evan buckley - 223 posts

#eddie diaz - 216 posts

#buddie - 159 posts

#in the tags - 110 posts

#words - 86 posts

#!!! - 83 posts

#911 bts - 77 posts

#911 meta - 69 posts

#art - 69 posts

Longest Tag: 131 characters

#i gotta think...❤️‍🔥is like. beautiful and aesthetic. but a bit uncommon?i love 💖 especially with some✨✨ but i use 💕 most often.

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

reeba !!! taylor !!! midnights!!! omg did you have any idea ?!?!?!? it's always out of nowhere i swear aksdfjjj :') <33

hi!! hello!!

no I fucking did not like. she was doing interviews like no I don't have another album in me just yet, I'm so tired, I thought new album would take a few years??

like obviously it's been nearly 2 years since evermore but there's the rerecordings. and also I think I've been spoilt by the folklore/evermore release schedule because I feel...empty that we don't have the tracklist or like we're not getting the whole album + mv immediately after the announcement 😅

it looks so good though! I first saw her red carpet look waking up mid sleep to check something and I thought oh so rep? and then I woke up and my friend was screaming about the new album

the aesthetic looks so gooooood. I might invest in a good eyeshadow palette so I can make her blue eyeshadow look my personality for a bit✨

also hello? louis and taylor having their albums out within a month of each other? louaylor rights!!

4 notes - Posted August 29, 2022

#4

reeba!!! happy new year, my dear ✨🎉!! im so glad to have had so many silly and serious and everything-in-between conversations with you this past year 😊💫💖 i hope the new year brings a million happy moments, exciting opportunities, and pockets of peace for you 💌🥰

essie <333 happy slightly belated new year🎉🎆 I'm so glad YOU reached out after seeing my random tag rambles😭🥺🥺 because I don't think. I would have. and then I wouldn't have an insanely talented friend who's also? so good at getting the weird intangible thoughts and feelings that I am usually too insecure to talk about to most people. we're matching brain waves on a facet of ourselves and I am very very grateful to have known you this past year<3

thank you for all the wishes omg, same for you!! a million happy moments and a sense of fulfilment, progress and contentment with life. and the strength to step out of our comfort zones and reach for happiness💗💖

also I put in fireworks but I detest those irl, considering I cover my ears when balloons pop. so I hope your ears survived intact 😬

4 notes - Posted January 2, 2022

#3

(also, no need to answer, just want to say i see about the flooding and i'm thinking about you <3 that must feel really scary and sad, i hope you and your loved ones are doing okay, sending love <3 <3 <3)

thank you, my area is safe but the country as a whole. all the provinces are effected, so many lives and livelihoods destroyed...it's really bad out there. and videos and constant updates are..emotionally taxing but if you put it in the back of your mind, you just get busy with your life and you forget those people who will need months until they can even begin to start rebuilding there lives.

and of course crops were effected so prices of some stuff are already high and they'll only get higher. and we already have shitty price hikes due to a recent change in government after some political turmoil. but thank God for private non-profits who actually help the people instead of looting donations

sorry this is. a lot. I just wish there was more I could do besides donating. hopefully volunteer activities will crop up after the initial situation has been stabilized so I can do something that isn't limited by my finances

5 notes - Posted August 29, 2022

#2

reeba !!! are you back from the land of the shadowbanned??! also, what track are you claiming off midnights 👀🌙💫

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii essie🥰🥰

I am back from the land of the shadowbanned alright, so back in fact that when I saw half your ask in my notifications saying are you back from the land of... I didn't have the slightest inkling what this could be about and like a perfectly normal person, I wondered, why does essie think I'm in the land of the dead? 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

as for claiming tracks, not to be (more) dramatic, I don't what's going on, idk who I AM? because like I cannot decide a track to claim. like this has never happened in any of the album releases I've been through so far. but like. lavender haze, maroon or midnight rain. like I think I want something s o f t. and side A sounds softer but I feel like the titles are going to be very misleading regarding the vibe? I am CERTAIN that whatever song I claim will not be my favorite. only two more sleeps till we know🕛⏳

How are you faring with this claiming business that I'm pathetically failing at😂

6 notes - Posted October 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

hey hi how are you ☺️✨ (i typed this and my brain went ‘how’s life, tell me how’s your family’ even though i haven’t listed to that song in FOREVER aksjjj but i’m off to rectify that now <3)

hi essie!! ☀️✨✨

to be very honest, I'm just... tired 😅 I'm trying to juggle some uni stuff with a part-time job and utterly failing at time management. like I COULD give up the me time but at what cost? losing my soul? so I'm just sacrificing sleep etc 🥳🥳

oof not back to decemberrrrr. i don't think I've heard it since 9th grade except once with red tv but I remember it all too well🤪

I think that's what the kids these are calling 'core memories'

how are you?? how's life and your family (feline family)

7 notes - Posted March 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[washymylifeaway]

SunaOsa fanfic recs: valentines edition~~

SunaOsa is one of my all time favorite ships and this past month, there has been/was an exchange going on between writers (here is the link) and artists (separately) and because I don’t have a life (or maybe it’s just that SunaOsa is my life LOL), I’m here to tell you some of my favorite fics from the pile :D However, as much as I love a ship, sometimes fluff is too asajndajnd so mind you there will probably be a lot of good fics missing just cause I couldn’t get myself to read more fluff (or angst) LOL (IM SORRY but sometimes I also just can’t motivate myself to read a fic no matter how good it looks OOPS).

As always, please check warning and tags before reading any of these fics, and take care of yourselves!!!!

In no particular order (jk the order is last updated haha) tho my favorites will have *** next to them :)

***glass stained black by unrequitedangst (E) 31k // Mafia AU’s are some of my favorite kinds of fics, and this one did not disappoint! The character development of Osamu is really legit and despite being mafia, it’s not that heavy or angst of a fic (but you should still definitely read tags and warnings first). It’s an Osamu heavy fic, and if you’re into reading him being stupid, go right ahead LOL.

redux by catalysis (T) 2.3k // ngl I hate break-up fics with a passion truely (when you can’t handle fluff or angst what to do) but I liked the concept for this one hehe (so I made myself suffer LOL). It was short, but cute !!! and the unspoken words really hit me in the FEELS (so what I’m dramatic fight me LOL).

Impropriety by DeathBelle (T) 5.7k // royalty~ I love the banter between them in this fic and we DO stan respectful Osamu yes we do <33333 The relationships between not only SunaOsa but SunaAtsu (because even though it isn’t really SunaAtsu best friend agenda, I can delude myself into think it is okay :/) are done so well and so nice he’s mean Osamu is best Osamu.

***what are you waiting for? by Slumber (T) 3.7k // MIGHT BE MY FAV FIC FROM THIS EXCHANGE!!! It made me cackle and I love how they learn new things about each other!!!! Like the development is so good and Suna is really doing the MOST!! Also, I love recursive endings AHHHHHH!

agape by sketchedsmiles (T) 11.7k // soulmates, then they were SOULMATES! (ik that’s not how it goes but pls just humor me LOL) This fic really depicted Osamu’s insecurities/internal turmoil/overthinking really well and the realization he has vs Suna’s AHJAFKASFJ. I love confident Suna.

fireside by tartaglia (starkartifices) (T) 3.6k // we do love the subtle flirt flirt don’t we hehe ;) It’s short, it’s fluff, and it’s funny - what more could you ask for? Also whats a vigilante fic if there isn’t at least one pun about being a vigilante LOL.

Over and Over Again by tookumade (G) 6.4k // I would like to order one reassuring, reliable Miya Osamu for myself please and thank you :((( The way the relationship is so GOOD like both Suna and Osamu pick each other up and they know the other has their back ajfhkajdfl. I would purchase all the onigiri with the deal Suna was proposing ;) Onigirintarou.

from here to eternity by TheGlovedArtist (T) 6.6k // I for one am a big fan of mythology and stuff (heroes of olympus but like IDR any of the plot LOL) so of course I read this fic. The snark appearances of Sakusa and Komori gave me LIFE and the difference in descriptions from Astumu and Kita cracked me up. This is another respectful Osamu fic (yes I love these) and in this one it was a ‘I save you as much as you save me’ type beat LOL. Gotta love rings.

***Subtle Inarizaki Dating by sifuhotman (T) 15.2k // THIS ONE. Even if you don’t read the whole thing, I beg of you, please, I AM ON MY KNEES, read the SID for Astumu. It is worth the loss of all your brain calls I guarantee it. It made me giggle so freakin much. Suna might be an A-Hole but he’s OUR A-Hole <3

Forever Begins with 8 Seconds by subtlehues (T) 3.9k // FLUFF hehe, I love their dynamic in this one it’s very good and cute and everything great! Also, I am all for the head cannon that Suna cannot cook, yes pls. Also SUPERPOWERS whooooooooh.

***try again, and again, and again by rosegoldwriting (T) 2.6k // SOULMATES! If you ever wanted a specific soulmate AU! for SunaOsa look no further, it probably comes out LOL. I love this concept of them just being like ‘WTF’ everyday, it gives me life. Also, count how many soulmate AU’s you recognized because I just thought about it and I think it’d be fun LOL. (I went back and I think 11 but I’m not sure LOL)

let us burn by SilverMoonT (G) 13.5k // I am always up for a nice vampire Osamu and witch Suna (which believe it or not, is my second one because I read the other one by this writer LOL) This one is more Suna POV and it really goes into his fears and desires, and I like the way Osamu pushes him to live more freely.

***reasons to microwave an elixir by spiritscript (T) 8.2k // THIS ONE. UGH I love, and it’s funny and cute and it EVEN HAS CRIME (kinda not really but yes)! I love the quiet moments they have and the PET AHHHHHHH! We love medic Osamu :DDDDD But also the betrayal and the sparring (and the irony at the end LOL) AJSKJNFK.

we fall between by stringendos (T) 14.7k // honestly the entire time I was just screaming at my computer, begging for them to hurry up and realize, but alas this is a ~slow burn~ for a reason and the tag ‘exes who act like theyre married’ really is the reason I read it and I do not regret LOL. Also bless Matsuda and stan her.

All the Time in the World by minie_ai (M) 8.8k // we love immortality! Denial! And Suna mentally filing away blackmail against people (namely Astumu) LOL. Running away from your problems is always the answer (I am saying this is a not sarcastic manner because I too, run away from my problems LOL) but ramen is ALWAYS a good answer. We love ourselves some emotional constipation LOL.

***none but you by broikawa (T) 7.2k // everything is a competition always LOL, not that I’m complainin but still LOL EVERYTHING. I really love this one because I love the progression and cock-block SakuAtsu hehe. I love them being synchronized idiots <3

it all comes back to you, (my home) by iritaescents (T) 4.5k // FOREVER, WE STAN FOREVER. Anyway, LOL this was is very very cute and fluff and not slow burn, it fast burn LOL. It’s a cute fic to read and it even has our favorite, now say it with me SOULMATES LOL.

Can't help falling in bed with you by tirralirra (T) 6.7k // here we see a 5 + 1 with points for the title (I think it’s very funny LOL my humor is bad ;)) Not that it really needs extra points because it’s a great fic in itself LOL but I really liked the title so I felt the need to share this with you all (OOPS). This was so cute, and the + 1 is HILARIOUS.

It’s no longer up :(((((( -> love's consequences by xginpuff (T) 6.5k // WARNINGS AND TAGS been a while since we had an angsty fic in this list (LOL the way I just tried to avoid all of them hehe). I read the tags but ngl I was still surprised later LOL maybe I’m just dumb, but anyway IK it starts out a bit confusing, but after you read more, you’ll get into it!

***sunagashi by bastigod (T) 9.8k // if there’s anything I like more than mythology, it’s folklore LOL. I love this fic and the plot is written so artfully AHDSAJN. Also the scene with the Ume-chan and her comment (so snarky I love). Also they way I went through so much trouble trying to figure out the kanji LOL (SPOILER it’s miyarin hehe)

catch me (while i'm still runnin') by lunarins (T) 4.3k // first and foremost, may we have a moment of silence for Komori and his eyebrows..... Continuing, this fic was so good because I love a good heist hehe. Their slight of hand abilities really doing the most LOL, and the ending OMG. I love the way the writer added in how they appeared to others during the heist, it really made it so good! Ugh to have a painting class and almost die LOL.

***if we get this right by Slumber (G) 5k // OLD FRIEND plsplspls I love this fic and I love how Osamu slowly relearns who he knew Suna as AHHH. The ending, again UGH, I really loved it and their banter with one another.

The Study of Suna Rintarou by DeathBelle (T) 6.1k // PLEASE the way Osamu kept getting offended omg. But also the effort Suna puts into getting to know Osamu, I was in ~love~. Read to me Osamu, READ TO ME. But also the Osamu is an oblivious MF agenda is alive and well within this fic hehe.

Take a Hint by pancake_surprise (G) 2.3k // ok so I had just read a tumbr post about the one bed thing and then I saw this fic. It was like the stars aligned okay? I was like, ig I HAVE to read it now hehe. But seriously read it, it’s cute and like everything else, of course there’s a challenge to be made LOL.

Heatwave by pancake_surprise (G) 2.1k // the way they were dating without knowing they were dating man. The tag ‘Didn't Know They Were Dating‘ more accurate than the ‘first dates’ one LOL jk but actually tho am I kidding? It’s the first official one IG. LOL anyway, we do love the doin of the defining of relationships. Yup.

If you made it all the way down here, CONGRATS LOL. Like I said, I didn’t read all of them (sadly) and these were the ones i did read LOL. I might add more depending on whether I can motivate myself into reading fics I know will be good LOL so we’ll see heh. Honestly, I thought I was gonna get word counted, but YAY we finished (for now hehe). Also sorry for any possible typos (is this no beta we die like men?) I’m running on 90 min of sleep so my engrish be strugglin LOL. Be safe and wear masks :)

[carpsurprise]

bro 👁👁 if u wanna talk more abt jodi and her parenting i would LOVE to hear it :D honestly you worded it much better than i could asdmsbf ty!!

THANK U SO MUCH IVE BEEN DYING TO TALK ABOUT THIS FOR A HOT MINUTE ok im gonna bleed this in with some of MY headcanons personally and some of the canon dialogue!! i’ll bold my headcanons so its easier to differentiate what im talkin about bopbop also this is SO long im sorry

also this makes it seem like i don’t like jodi i do!! (thats my mom in law hehe) but like... just some of the stuff she says points to deeper insecurity issues. 

so in short: this is kind of a jodi analysis.

it’s def touched upon by multiple people that she doesn’t seem happy (her dialogue is full of ‘i wants’ and ‘i wishes) but i do think that’s not entirely the case, it’s just a classic mother thing to feel sort of (lack of a better word) trapped into motherhood and her responsibilities. and i def think kent being away probably worsened that.

with kent being away she was pretty much a single mother, and as seen in sam’s canon character, he has to do a lot to make up for kent’s absence... financially and emotionally, for both her and vince. vince needs a positive male figure to look up to to inspire him to be the best he can be, and jodi needs stability and help with her own responsibilities. sam tries to fulfill all of that and even some of his marriage dialogue (and his three heart event) it definitely puts stress on him.

so, sam tries his best! but in some dialogue and sam’s heart events you can see she still gets on him for things that makes him like :/ she still views him as a child occasionally despite being a full adult who is also sorta-parenting vincent, acting as some sort of doing-good role model for him, and i believeeee he says he tries to be his best specifically for vincent’s growth.

jodi still treats vincent like a child, but she still treats him better than she treats sam often. which kinda ties into the point i made about sam being the trial/error kid. i’ve headcanoned and i’ve seen others also say that kent and jodi got married straight out of high school. u kno typical military stuff. this also kind of explains her sort of ‘trapped feeling’ dialogue since it seems like she didn’t get much time to explore the world or maybe even explore herself as an individual. caroline likes gardening, marnie loves animals to death, and robin knows woodworking/a trade but jodi... just has regular ‘housewife’ things like cooking and cleaning.

^ like this doesn’t sound like someone who had a CHOICE in what her life has turned out to be. and i think sam got the BRUNT of that.

and here ^ she’s kind of immature in some of her dialogue, esp since (like u said in ur post!!) that sam caught on to it and has reacted negatively to it. i would venture to a point and say she most likely suffered with post-partum depression for sam especially if she felt trapped with kent as she does in game. i def think that with this and in canon, sam was probably used as her guinea pig for parenting. obviously no one is a natural born mother but if kent had just gone away in the military and she had sam, i can definitely see where some resentment for kent and sam would come in... along with resentment for herself for getting herself into that situation.

which that kind of train of thought could be an explanation for some of her self-deprecating/wants and wishes dialogue. once the issues of raising sam had kinda smoothed out, and he became old enough to realize exactly what was going on with his father/the war and his mother’s reactions to that stress, she probably already figured out how to parent vincent. esp since sam and vincent seem so similar (adhd imo) what didn’t work with sam jodi was able to figure out.

but going back to how she treats sam! i do think she would still kind of hold some resentment. obviously she loves sam but she still views him as a child, despite how mature he really is... like in his marriage dialogue and his three heart event. i honestly think his whole sunshine/golden retriever boy personality is ofc true but. partially true. i think he does it as a save face for how he really feels, which is anxious (about his fathers return and vincent growing up).

but one of the first tags i put! def more headcanon-y just from the stuff i mentioned above. jodi definitely gives me the ‘weaponizes basic needs’ in an argument type of mom. u kno the whole “i feed you, you have a roof over your head, i put clothes on your back” kind of manipulation. which.. yeah jodi you should! i think she’s very insecure about herself and very anxious over her situation and is at a constant state of trying to prove to herself her own worth. like.. the only thing she is/does is be a mother so when sam (or not so often vincent) fuck up, she takes it personally because raising those two is the only thing she really does. if she sees herself as a failure there... then what as she spent her life doing (instead of travelling/having hobbies/etc)

kids naturally fuck up she learned through sam!! one of the things my mother told me all the time while growing up was that it was “her first time ever being a mother” and i think jodi would honestly... have those same thoughts. she’s tired and overworked and on top of that has to raise two boys as a ‘single mother’. i think she’d snap easily on sam from too much pressure, whether he was younger (by accident) or as he got older (on purpose). it seems like there’s little room for accidents on anyone else’s part in her house.

like sam’s four heart event. ignoring the obvious why-the-hell-are-you-handing-me-an-egg issue, sam very obviously drops the egg on accident, and jodi storms in and creates an issue out of it. which... it’s an accident. it seems out of character for sam to drop the egg on purpose and cause an issue for his MOTHER. obviously he does stuff that makes lewis mad on purpose, but he doesn’t do stuff like that to jodi. but she still gets upset over... his hand slipping.

and his ten heart event. why don’t we talk about that more often? from her dialogue its hinted at that she thought he was ... y’know... but still had said if i recall correctly!! “i’m coming in”. there was no question and it gives sam no option to tell her no. so it seems she has that kind of ‘control’ in their house where she can just invade sam’s privacy (granted.. she knocked but still) even when she thought he was doing THAT. idk i don’t like the “i’m coming in”... it seems like she is not giving sam the further consent for her to enter his room (or private space)

ok this is long i need to wrap this up but bottom line she loves her kids. of course she does! but i think sam definitely gets treated ‘worse’ and kinda has as the firstborn/oldest. jodi, with her kids, finally has some control of her life back since she is their mother and they have to listen to her. she doesn’t know exactly what she’s doing still, and once one of the boys (sam) messes up she takes it as a personal attack since the One thing she does in her life is be a mother. this was very long but thank u !!!! i love doing a lil character analysis

[shadowthestoryteller]

CF99 and Curiosity

Haven’t done a Bad Batch analysis rant in a while, so here we go buckle up cause im tired af but I’ve been thinking about this

I know everyone likes to say Tech is the curious one out of the Batch, but I honestly think that all four boys have an innate curiosity. It just has different driving factors and different ways it shows in their mannerisms. 

I didn’t do Techie since he’s already known as the curious one. 

Like the meta/analysis? Want to see one on a different topic? Send it into the inbox! Since I don’t need to come up with a plot I can do these easier than I would a fic request :D

Tags!

@soundwavetherav, @mackstrut @haloangel391 @iwannaclonetrooper  @kamino-mermaid @the11tailedlovesclones @manda1orians  @h0tgluegun @shaddow-darkcloud @mangoberry43, @a-lil-perspective, @the-silentium, @thegoodbatch, @peacefulwizardfox, @passionofthesith, @apathetic-catastrophie   @honeyray @leonidas-banana-phone  @pearlyarmor  @queenchaos-5 @bomboclaaty  @ahsokasleftbicep @thetrashbatch99

Sergeant Hunter: 

His curiosity does not present itself as much as Tech’s or Wrecker’s or even Crosshair’s. Our tattooed fella is a very low-key individual in almost every aspect of his life, and even remains pretty calm in battle unless his brother’s are directly put at risk. But I think that his curiosity is almost unseen 90% of the time because he can gather input on stuff in a way that most people cannot. He has heightened senses after all, and can perceive things around him in higher detail than your average joe. Just like his mutation, his curiosity is not perceivable but he is always observing and making deductions about things he sees. 

As for the driving force, his almost always comes down to combat and, most importantly, his brothers. Hunter strikes me as a very innovative and strategy minded fella, so a lot of times he’s curious about how things work so he can implement that into a battle tactic or strategy to help win the day. The inner workings/reasonings also intrigue him, because if he knows how/why something does what it does, it takes the unpredictability out of a lot of things. This in turn helps him keep his bros safe. We see numerous times he does not like walking into a situation with unknown variables. He’s curious about why a thing does this so he can be better prepared and either counteract it or use it to his advantage. 

Crosshair: 

Our lemon lemon difficult homicidal twig. His curiosity is often perceived as vindictiveness and honestly, that’s how it comes across. That’s what he intends 90% of the time. He may be removed from most situations in that he’s a sniper, but he is a very action oriented man when it comes to curiosity. He pokes and prods to get a feel for people. I mentioned this in a past post, but I think all of his harsh words and goading is him being curious. Curiosity isn’t always wide-eyed childlike wonder and amazement. It can be mean or even downright malicious at times. While I don’t think Crosshair is innately malicious, although he certainly can be, his curiosity is more along those lines. Although he’s got his own fascinations and such, his curiosity is primarily geared towards people. 

So, what’s his driving force? I’d say a mix of insecurity, protectiveness for his brothers, and, yes, sometimes just plain ol’ “I feed off conflict”. Crosshair, as we can all see, is not the strongest physically and I won’t even get into what he went through as a cadet. His more hostile curiosity is a result of him subconsciously worrying people are always out to get him or his brothers. He pokes people to see what they’re like, see what their intentions are, and also to let them know he can hold his own and is not afraid of anyone (kinda like an angry owl or something). He tests them too so he knows whether or not his brothers are safe around them. His curiosity is concerned with how someone will react, and well... his methods work.  

Wrecker:

Our lovely Snt Bernard/Rottweiler mix. His curiosity usually presents itself in actions, just like Crosshair’s. But rather than being geared towards people, his is a rather general curiosity. Its not hostile as Crosshair’s can be, but Wrecker is also interested in the outcome if he does something. He’s very action oriented, and I think he enjoys blowing things up because he’s curious what will happen. Like his brother, he wants to know how something/someone will react if he does X,Y, or Z. 

Wrecker’s driving force? He’s the one batcher who I don’t see having a deeper reason for his curiosity. Wrecker’s like a big kid; he’s just naturally curious! He just wants to know just because he wants to know. Not much to say here, really. He’s curious for curiosity’s sake. He wants to know what will happen if he does a thing, so he does the thing. 

[dalliscar]

i was tagged by @bowiepop ty darling 💌

who was your first favourite artist? depeche mode, bowie, duran duran, omd, rush

who are your current favourite? soda stereo, blur, virus, tokyo, lush, inxs, a-ha

are you into musicals? which ones/why not? a little bit. grease, hairspray and west side story are cool

are there songs you consider so special you only listen to them very rarely? many!! i'm lazy to list but there's songs that i listen just when i'm feeling really sad or extremely happy. i just believe that music helps change our mood, thats all.

what’s your preferred way of listening to music?  (time of day, medium, situation) all day, if not on spotify, then my record player

what would you say is the most niche music you listen to? idk really kskrjejjfh

what’s your favourite music related movie/tv show that’s not a musical? uh,,, i love almost famous, a few biopics of my fav musicians and documentaries about music in general

albums or playlists? albums!!!

favourite albums? oof, i think i could pass hours talking about each one ksjdjsjdn

is there an artist you’re trying to get into? theres a lot!! i already made a list of albums to listen, the thing is: im always lazy, when i start listen to music, i just think about recent recomendations friends gave me or my current fave songs,,, so yeah i need to explore more bands and genres

whose music do you find overhyped? idk if its because i used to listen too much and today is not my thing anymore, but hair metal. i do like a few artists but theres other ones that is just too boring or more of the same. i still like the genre tho

what’s an underrated song? such a tricky question skdjjsjd i dont know it depends

what’s a thing a bunch of songs do that you love every time? bass solos!! and really strong drums. recently i've been loving guitar solos too!! and i wont even start talking about synth solos cause i will not shut up

what song is better acoustic? to be honest im not a fan of 'acoustic versions', maybe one song or other but it's not my first option

what’s the worst song of all time? depends of the point of view, right? cause theres few songs i see people saying that its an anthem and stuff and i go like 'uhhhhh dude i have bad news for u, this ones bad !'

do you put individual songs on repeat? if so, for how long and how often? yes!! honestly, if i really enjoyed the song, i'll put it on repeat for 50 or 100, but im boring, soon i get tired if i listen too much so i give a break to not ruin my hype for the song

do you make your own playlists? if so, what’s your most entertaining playlist title? for sure!! i've made almost 50 playlists, but just 8 are open on spotify because im insecure lmao. im not good to playlist names but theres one called 'and she was a runway model' that is just my fave songs to listen while i do my makeup and other called 'br wave' thats just brazilian new wave/post punk songs.

headphones or earbuds? earbuds!!

do you always sing the lead vocal or do you harmonize sometimes? if you harmonize, do you ever invent your own harmony? sometimes i try some lead vocals but i rather harmonize cause i find my voice embarrassing

a musical confession: i've tried a few times create a acc on rateyourmusic or medium just to do some reviews, but i just cant, i mean, i am too sentimental that i cant make a long article with clever words saying what i thought about the song or album. i never see the technical side, but just the feeling the album caused in me, if was good or bad... i envy people who can do a review without sound a complete idiot who dont know how to talk (aka me)

now i tag: @musicacuantica , @andypartridges , @dedicatedfollowerofrock , @thischarmingjaz , @eleventh-earl and @carlpalmer if you guys want to 💓

[littlx-songbxrd]

Seriously thank you so much for your tags on my fic! Your feedback is the stuff I'm always the most excited for when I post! Sometimes I get insecure about my writing but your comments always snap me out of it. So seriously, thank you. 😊

AHHHHHH THIS IS SO SWEET

I normally love giving feedback because as a fict writter, i personally adore being interacted with and i always seek to do the same for others! AND GET THOSE THOUGHTS OUT YOUR HEAD YOU WRITE AMAZINGLY

I genuinly love your writting/ gen

i always look foward to them!

Also since your here

You @adoravel-fenomeno and @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood convinsed me a lil self projection never hurt anyone so heres a snippet to what im writting rn

"Now I asked you to stay behind because i wanted to discuss your work?" The teacher held up the map they were supposed to color corresponding to the continents "Now why would you ruin such a wonderful map?"

"I didnt ruin it" She said, taking a straw of their dark hair and twisting it

"The assigment I gave you was to colour the continents" Mrs. Stevenson then put the map on her desk for both of them to see "But thats not all you did now was it?"

Mari kept quiet, they hated the way Mrs. Stevensons looked at her, expecting them to admit to some big crime. Even at 10 year old Mari refused to give in their dignity, even if at that age their biggest fear was their social studies teacher

Mr. Stevenson pointed to the map "Why did you cross out that island"

"Because the name was wrong"

"And why do you assume the name is wrong Mary?"

"Mari" They corrected the teacher, unable to stop themselves "My name is Mari"

"Isnt that what i said" her teacher said indignant

"No"

[ellovett]

list of people that made this year pretty neat :)

Hi all

Ok so 2020's almost ending (it just ended i started writing this post like....5 days ago??) and i just wanted to do this thing where i have a message towards everyone who supported me/who i think are just very cool and very epic, i only really got into the twst fandom just at the beginning of the year and im just gonna get straight to the point now messages are under the cut :)

@permanentlyexhaustedowl - AYAAAA ;;;;; bro you're literally one of my first long time friends here in the twst community and i just want to thank you for everything, our convos in either public servers or in pms, your love and support for my content,,or whenever i vent to you,,,,,just- your love and support man i appreciate it so much and i cannot thank you enough, you're just so sweet and caring and supportive and friendly just aghhhhhh ;;;;; even your reblogs make me smile uncontrollably and i explode, also all the brainrots i have about my interests ;;; thanks for listening to all of them,,even tho you really didnt have to ;;;;;; I love how we make our twst ocs interact and the little brainrots we have with them ;;; You've helped me so so so much and in so many ways, I am beyond glad that we're bestfriends, you're one of the nicest most caring people ive ever met and i love you so so so much, beyond belief ;; 💕 pls never stop being you?????? You quacking amazing person??????? 😎🤙💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕

@shoujoqueensstuff - AYYYY SHOUJOOOO!!! 😎🤙🤙 hhhh you're also one of the first people ive ever had a long time friendship with here in the twst community, and seriously bitch i love you so much ;;; so so much..i cant go a day without talking to you about literally anything and just vibing, the support and love you've given me over these months is insane i cannot thank you enough for that, all of our rps, convos or just pure brainrot have been so much fun, and i fucking love it that we built our own little world outside of canon,,all the aus we built with our ocs???? I love them. I love them all to death, including your amazing ocs, and even tho we live on literally opposite sides of the world you're always there for me whenever i vent or when im feeling extremely down or insecure ;; ,,im just so so so happy and glad that i met you and that we're bestfriends, i care about you so so so so so much- hhhh i cant put it into words my brain is dying i just- i LOVE YOU BIITCH, I AINT NEVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU, BITCH.😎💖💕💖🤙🤙💕💕💖💕 TAKE MY LOVE BITCH 💕💕💕💕💕 thank you so much for sticking around ;; i love you and support you in everything you do so much I could never ever thank you enough for the friendship you've given me..

I can literally go forever on how much i love and appreciate the both of you, i can just scream into the void for all eternity,,but i cant put it into words anymore. You both made my year so great and so epic ;;; i love you guys so much

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Now the chaddams 😌

@thetwstwildcard - hi ma :D you're just so cool and so epic lizz ;;; i cant- all of our conversations and brainrots have been super fun and i enjoy your company very much;;; you are just so nice and friendly,, and your ocs (especially staff ocs) are god tier amazing, i will love the nrc mom squad to death. I am honored to be ur child and i love you and father claude (and my four (?) other dads you married) very much 💕💕💕

@alpyssketch - bringer of father claude,,,,i owe you my life alpy,,,,,,but no seriously you're also a very epic person and you're honestly so nice and sweet!!! You never fail to make me feel welcome in any conversation and you're just so damn friendly!!! We may not talk that often but I very much enjoy your company ;;; ily!!! 💖💖💖

@multi-ankin - another very cool and epic person!!!! you're very fun to talk to and you're also pretty funny in the vc fjfjfj, your ocs are all so amazing too! (djdjjd although my staff oc bias makes me go for kas) we should totally talk and make our ocs interact more in the future tho!!!!!! 💖💖

@just-patchy - pATCHYYY!!!! :D hi!!!! you're also a very cool person!! our interactions have been so much fun and i hope we can have more in the future ;;; the ideas you have for your ocs and how you put them into writing is so good!!! like really good!!! And your art has been greatly improving too!!! Never ever think that i dont see you as a friend because i do!! 😤😤💖💖 i care about you bro!! Never forget that!!

@bakujho - :D hi jho!! you're a lot of fun! And I THINK YOU ARE SO DAMN COOL AND BADASS it's unbelievable,,i look up to you jho i wish i could be almost as cool as you when i grow up ;;; the things you've done for this fandom are also very admirable! like the whole gravedigging (jellyfish) situation! But we're not gonna talk about it now- hhhhh you're just so epic jho ;;; seriously 💗💗

@Kurui - hhhhh you're probably not gonna see this ;;; and i cant find your tumblr (if any of the other chaddams could possibly show this to her thatd be so great ;;;) but nonetheless i still think you're just so fun and cursed ;;; and you give so many amazing ideas!!! Your ocs are all also so cool too! Your art is just so detailed you clearly put a lot of thought into them i just admire that sm ;; (also your edits are extremely cursed and epic i love them dearly-)

@twst-the-royals - JULIE :))) HELLO,,,you were actually the first ever person i spoke/interacted with in the fandom! And you were just so nice and friendly and patient with me ;;; im glad that i got to talk to you,,and we dont really talk that much now but pls pls PLEASE know that i care about you so much and that i support you in everything you do ;;; 💖💖💗💖 ill do my best to make you proud!!

@girl-in-the-tower - hey Az!!! ;;;; you're so epic and cool,,honestly i admire you so much, the lore/writing you have for your ocs/fanschools are just so well thought out and so well written ;;; i hope to become a better writer like you in the future, but for now ill just take notes and learn from you ;; you're super encouraging and supportive too!!! I know we dont talk much but i could never thank you enough for all those little yet meaningful moments ;;; 💖💖

@rikanoctrix and @mirrored-pomefiore - hi!!! i know we arent that close but just know that you two are huge inspirations for me when it comes to art, the both of you draw your styles so incredibly well and i admire that so so so much ;;; 💖

@ocean-water-tea - FATHER TEAAAAA QAQ okay so first of all,,,,how can you draw so well using ibispaint, i ask for tips, specifically on how to draw hair and tits 🤲 but seriously though you are so fun to talk to!!! So cursed!!! So ☊⊑⏃⍜⏁⟟☊!!! You encourage me to my true cryptid self (despite aya's protests 👀) and i thank you kindly,,,you are also very funny 😌 a funny little clown simp, and you're super friendly and cheerful too! I almost never feel nervous when reaching out to you ;;; I hope we can have more wacky adventures in the future 💖💖

@zonamemoryverse - HEYYY ZONAAA!!! you're a fairly new person and you've already come so far ;;; you're a very chaotic person to talk to and i enjoy all of our conversations!!! Also our interactions with our ocs were super fun too, and i love hearing any shred of content i can get from ur epic ocs,,,dont stop being epic!!! 💖💖

@namelessfish - Hi fish!!! :DD you've been a very supportive friend to me over these past few months,,and im happy i have someone i can relate my not-so-great experiences with ;;; please know that i care about you dearly and that ily ;; 💖💖💖💖

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@wondersbeyondcompare - JFFJJF BRO DONT THINK I DONT SEE YOU WHENEVER YOU REBLOG MY CRINGY ASS POSTS 👁👁 I SEE THEM AND I CHERISH THEM ALL I REREAD THEM ON SAD DAYS. All the little tags and comments you put on them always make me smile so hard ;;; im just very happy to know that you like whatever the hell im doing and it pushes me to do more!! You're incredibly sweet, dont worry!!! Ill be sure to make you proud!!!! 😭💖💖💖

@circuscarnage - Anna!!!! We dont talk that often but whenever we do it's always so much fun ;;; you're so sweet and i appreciate you so much ;; all the stuff you drew for my ocs are all so incredibly cute and i really have to give back- jUST YOU WAIT ANNA. IM GONNA MAKE FANART OF YOUR LOVELY OCS AND YOU CANT STOP ME- 💖💖💖💖

@twistedapple - hi crow!! :DD again we dont really talk that much but i support you greatly in everything you do!!! You're another epic and cool writer ;;; your writings for your ocs are just sooooo well written and are just so good!! You're also super good at art too!! And i hope to see more from you in the future!!! ;;; 💖💖💖💖

@not-twst-enough - Ellie!!!! ;;; bro you've been supporting me from the very start, from lillet's old ass bio to now, and i very much appreciate it!!!! You're also super friendly in the twst server too ;;; and all the content you have for your ocs is just so exciting! Good luck with the fandorm and all future stuff ;;; ily!!!! 💖💖💖

@fumikomiyasaki - FUMI. DONT THINK I DIDNT FORGET YOU DKDKDK,,,Another cool and amazing person!!! All our brainrots and conversations have been really fun ;;;; thank u for that,, You are very fun person to interact ocs with tho!!! Especially with ships!! MadScientist² will forever hold a place in my heart.,,,💖💖💖

@oiseaunoir11 - hey Al!! :) you were one of the many people i admired and looked up to when i first joined the fandom, your art is something im deeply inspired by and your shitposts at like...4 am in the morning always give me the big funny,,one thing i really admire about ur art tho is how you'd draw backgrounds :0 you've gotten so good at them!! And your poses look super natural and effortless, i hope to be almost of a better artist like you 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♂️ also i cant wait to see ur animatics 👀 they look dope- hope we can talk or maybe even interact ocs more! 💖💖

@leonasbitties - luuuu :))) hiiii,,,we dont usually talk on servers that often but that doesnt mean that i dont consider you as a friend! You have a lot of super cool ideas for ocs and your art is just getting better and better and better with each piece!!!! i look forward to seeing more from you ;;; 💖💖💖

@peteza-mozzarella - PETEEE :DDD another very cool and friendly person, you're literally the sweetest person ive ever talked to and i love our little chats!!! Hhhh you're just super nice and your ocs are super cute,,please never stop being you you epic bean ;;;; 💖💖💖💖

@the27th - Hi Andhra!!!!! You've been quite the long time mutual,,and your reblogs always make my day ;;; you're just so sweet and kind and i always feel at ease when talking to you, the hunger games sessions you host are always super fun even though im often asleep to even participate 😂 thank you sm for the love and support ;;; ill be sure to give them all back to you 💖💖 starting now 💗💗💗💗💗

@mamushroomoracorn - MAMUSH :DD we've only really started talking recently but you're just so nice and friendly ;;;; all of our talks have been so wholesome and great and im so happy about that, and your art is really really really good!! Ur art style is just so unique and so cool!!! ;;;; and dw mamush,, ill show the froggies like i promised soon 😔💖💖💖

@rookvonhunt - HEYYYY 👉😎👉 hi hello i would die for your ocs. If theyd ask me to perish then i will 200%,,ur so epic and cool and all of your ocs are just god-tier, i cant wait for what else you have to offer!!!! 💖💖

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@lawlessofdusk - lawless ;;;; aaaaa honestly you're just so kind and sweet, i couldnt thank you enough for all the love and support you've given me!!! And i desperately need more content of ur ocs bc they're all so cool and interesting 😤😤😤💖💖💖 i hope to talk to you more soon!!!!

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Fkfjfjfj i think that's all!! Id like to thank you all for sticking around with me with my first year in the fandom ;;; you guys make all the bullshit and drama here worth it 💖💖💖

If i forgot to include you in here then PLEASE DM ME I AM SO SORRY-!!!! I dont want to leave anyone behind!!! So please feel free to confront me about it ;;; happy new year everyone!!!!

[sunball]

Hi💫💓. I have a confession to make. Nothing too serious tbh. This is going to be lengthy. I created a Tumblr acc a while ago but, I was never active on it. I preferred to guest browse, you know. I would lurk around in the tags and read stuff. But, I never actually interacted with the posts. Ever. One day, I was doing the same thing and, I came across your blog. I LOVED reading your posts. You came across as an authentic and outspoken person to me. Your blog's aesthetic stood out to me. I could see that it was an expression of yourself. I could see the effort you put into it. I kept coming back to your blog and ended up finding some other wonderful blogs through it. After a while, I ended up traveling. I didn't have data or WiFi access at the time so, I couldn't read any of your posts. When I returned, I couldn't find your blog for some reason. I low-key freaked out. I am not sure how to explain this to you but, I have ALWAYS struggled with communication. It made me SO anxious to the point that I couldn't even imagine being on social media. People say that interacting with others on the Internet is much easier than face-to-face communication but, to me, it's all the same. At the end of the day, I am always wondering "Was I rude?", " Did I even make any sense?", "What are they going to think of me?". It is such an irrational fear but, I can't help it. After coming across your blog, I decided to check my natal chart, and lo and behold, I have Saturn in the 3rd. After finding out that you had the same placement, it gave me some kind of hope? That may be, someday, I would be able to express my thoughts just like you do. I really respect the efforts you put into your blog. I admire you for that. I really do. Okay, let's go back to the story. I eventually ended up finding your blog. I made up my mind to finally tell you that I loved your blog. I think I send you an ask. I think. But I decided to redo it cause' I felt like the first one didn't do justice. So here I am. I don't know if you will ever actually read this. Even now, while writing this, I am freaking out! I know I am anonymous but, my anxiety doesn't give an f. I want you to know that you are doing great. There are lots of people out there who appreciate what you do, and I am one of them. I hope you rise amongst all perils and achieve all your dreams. Thank you for being yourself. 💛💛💛

Hold up, I was supposed to make a confession, right? Okay so, I used to hang around with a cockroach as a kid. Let's call it bestie. Feels weird to say it, but bestie was actually well behaved? I used to sing songs for it and stuff. Our friendship lasted for a grand total of two days. Bestie was a great roach. Best of all?? It didn't fly. Yap, that's it. I don't know if you will read this but thanks for listening.

omg anon🥺🥺 I’m speechless aahhh aakdhjdg this means SO much to me. you made my day. you made me smile and tear up wow. thank you so much for taking your time to write this. im feelin super special rn hehehe just reading your words makes me feel appreciated 😭 I’m guessing you found my blog when my URL was ilyneptune? I was shadowbanned so that’s why you couldn’t find my blog, SORRY ABOUT THATTTT! I’m glad we found eachother again though :D

I totally get what you mean about the communication part, as a child I was really quiet and did not talk to my family or my friends much. at school I was the most awkward person and was labelled as stupid because whenever I got picked on to answer questions, I would just stutter and answer something stupid 😭 just speaking makes me feel like choking even if it’s just a simple hi. I also used to not like talking online too, I would leave messages unread and ignore them for weeks and I absolutely hated calls (I still do). I also take hours to write a paragraph. saturn in 3rd house things I suppose 😔 but actually, this year my communication got so much better. I stepped out of my comfort zone and made this blog. not so sure what made me do it but I’m glad I did it anyway. now I’m arguing with people in comment sections and I’m not afraid of being wrong anymore. I guess I just accepted that I’m not perfect and that I’m bound to make mistakes and that everyone is here for the same reason - to learn. would me saying something wrong make me a fool? or would the person laughing at me for being wrong and not asking questions be the fool instead? I actually have 2 quotes on my wall, “speak your mind even if your voice shakes” and “he who asks a question is a fool for a minute, he who does not ask is a fool for life”. those quotes are very important to me and pretty much changed my life :B my dad also helped me ig, he’s kinda cold lol but he told me that people actually don’t give a fuck about your mistakes, they don’t notice the things you notice like your crooked teeth, the way you eat, how you stuttered 3 times or how you messed up your presentation. why? people have their own insecurities and their own life to think about, they’re probably thinking of the exact same thing like “omg did they notice that I accidentally spat when I talked?”. so yeah that helped me too.

I believe that you can overcome these fears! I mean, you’re already doing it by writing this to me :D (which brought me to tears lol). If an awkward bean who barely spoke at school (aka me) can do it, so can you! I believe in you anon ((: it’s okay to be anon I understand! I appreciate you writing this to me (for the 2nd time KAHDH I’m sorry I didn’t get your last ask 😭). but anywaysss I’ll still be here for the day you express your thoughts (and imma listen hehe) I’m a sucker for thaaatttt, hearing people’s thoughts and opinions. I think it’s super fascinating how people think differently and how people can come up with different ideas. makes me just wanna take a look inside their mind KAHDJDH.

okay wth a cockroach HAHSGDGD AND WHY IS THAT WEIRDLY CUTE??? why am I aww-ing at a cockroach I don’t get it AHAHAAH AND YOU SANG TO IT?? WELL BEHAVED??? I’m chuckling here 😭😭 that’s so wholesome. so cuteeee😔 bestie will forever be missed <33

thank YOU anon. I hope you are doing well! I hope to see you againnn 🥺

[jtrbluv]

tag game !

tagged by the lovely linh @latetaektalk ,, thank u soso much! this was so fun omg

tagging: @allurain @koushiningg @dreamystuffers @jinpanman @dulce-pjm @suhdays @pjmsdior @bangtans-peaceful-piegon @sugacouture

1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)?

um i didn't rly write for any fandoms when i was younger, but i knew my 12yo self was probably conjuring harry potter headcanons in my head D:

2. what fandoms are you currently writing for?

for now, and for a long time, i've been writing for bts. i've like always been a multi from the moment i got into kpop but i've never actually fleshed out any of the wips i had for any other groups LMFAO. honorable mentions are got7, skz, haikyuu yup

3. how long have you been writing?

a longggg time, i think. i enjoyed writing fiction as a kid a lot. most of it would be like off-brand spy kids/harry potter/hunger games type beat stuff. and it was awful. but i was literally like 9 so cut me some slackLKSDFJSLKDjf

4. on which platforms do you post your stories?

primarily tumblr and i only recently made an ao3 acc. the only fic i have on there is a tae drabble that's already posted on here LOL. i think it's 'resolutely, yours.' but i don't even remember bye. i remember i drafted drivers license on there but i literally forgot to post it so it's probably gone HAHA.

5. what is your favourite genre to write?

e2l even though i have no e2l fics on this blog i think

6. are you a pantser or a planner?

i used to never plan my fics, like at all. but then i was so unsatisfied with the flow of things and like idk lack of clarity. drivers license was the first time i actually sat down and planned out an entire fic as i was writing it. it rly does make things easier when u have an idea of what u want. and then just having the idea can help you possibly expand on it and get even better ideas off of it. the events of drivers license and the order it was all written in changed like 20394803 times. but yeah, does that make sense... LMFAO

7. one shot or multi-chapter?

one shots because i can never fucking get myself to finish a series. i love reading them tho

8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion?

no clue. i love long stories and slow burn tho, it's just so satisfying and $wag when it's well-written and the characters are well-written too.

9. what is your longest published story? is it complete?

the fic i'm about to post is nearing 20k, and it might even surpass that which will end up being the longest story on this blog. insane! drivers license is around 10k i think, and then if u combine the wnrs couple's fics it's like 15k? im too lazy to look tbh SRy

10. which story did you enjoy working on the most?

oh drivers license for sure! i don't think i've ever immersed myself and put so much effort into a story before. it was truly an amazing experience, and i just know that i'll probably never be able to write anything like that fic ever again. it's rly one of a kind for me.

11. favourite request you've have written and why (if any?)

most of the requests i had on this blog got taken down bc they were so bad. i'm not sure if the yoongi superhero!au is still up on here, but i'd choose that one since i really had to branch out of my writing style for it. regardless of it being like barely 2k.

12. are there reoccurring themes in your stories?

miscommunication, so much banter, i used to see this a lot but i would take it out but... head bonking ??LSKDFJHAHA, my side characters being dumbasses and then my main characters being even bigger dumbasses (oc probably being the biggest dumbass)

13. current number of wips?

during the course of writing the current fic i plan on posting this week, i created like 5 wips and they all hit 5k, and then i straight up abandoned them. and then the endless idea bank google doc. so if i count the wips i for sure want to finish by like this year or summer... like 3 or 4.

14. three things you have noticed about your own writing?

i feel like i repeat stuff a lot throughout all my stories LOL,, it irks me so bad. i think i relate to all my ocs in at least one way or another.

15. a quote you like from a published story

alrighty this is a lil snippet from 'drivers license':

this is from the second letter oc wrote to jk:

"The same delusional daydreamer hopes that one day we can talk and laugh like old pals. Like nothing ever changed between us. I hope you achieve your dreams that you always thought seem too far-fetched, yet in the back of my mind I always knew you could easily grasp. I hope someday you can live a life of lesser worries and insecurities, because you rarely had any to start off with. I always hoped the world for you, because you deserve it. And despite everything, I still believe you do."

this paragraph seems pretty simple but i think it did the best job of like describing oc's emotions and realization of things,, its kinda cliche tew yas love that

16. a quote from an unpublished story

alr this is from the e2l jimin series that is going to take me forever to write bc the outline for it is SO LONG

“Would it kill you to at least show up with a shirt on?“ You sneer, patting your forehead with the back of your hand due to the sweltering sun. The event hasn’t even started yet and you can already feel your hair sticking to the back of your neck.

Crossing his arms, he scoffs, his biceps bulging out as his arms bend. Not like you were staring at them. “Sorry couldn’t hear you, too busy boosting the school’s morale.”

17. space for you to say something to your readers

i feel like i don't show enough appreciation to my readers and mutual on this blog. i have met so many lovely people and have gotten so much support, i hope u all know that it does NOT go unnoticed. i always tend to go back and reread all the comments and asks that i get on my stories bc it rly does make my heart soar. it makes my day!!! thank u all for sticking with me thru all my 3am shitposts and inconsistent writing schedule LOL,, you all have my whole heart and some more <3