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ladybirdswritings · 10 months

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Silken Webs & Pirouettes- Miguel O’Hara x Reader

Summary: You decide to take all your problems out on the dance floor. Ballerina!Reader & CEO!Miguel. Alternate Universe with most of the characters included as seen in "Across the Spiderverse." Many cameos ahead. Miguel is a successful business owner but personality is canon. This is a steamy reader insert, Miguel x You! Enjoy and pls leave me lots of love and comments as it keeps me motivated <333

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eight

“Ladies leave yo’ man at home, the club is full of ballers and they pockets full grown— and all you fellas leave yo’ girl with her friends— cause it’s eleven thirty and the club is jumpin’ jumpin’”

Your hips sway in rhythm with the song, body glistening with a soft sheen, evidence of the time you’ve spent on the dance floor. The fluorescent lights feel like they’re only on you. Men and women have either danced or tried to dance with you all night. You’ve given your number to at least eight, so far. One of them a blonde with blue eyes, older but handsome.

So…. how did you get here?

Well…

Your bed was comfortable enough for the few days you were glued to it, teary eyes and puffy face as you gazed at the phone on your pillowcase.

To call home or not to call home… that was the question.

It seemed like each time you reached for it, the constriction within the confines of your heart stopped you from lifting it off of the satin.

So you turned, gazing up at the sky behind your popcorn ceiling. Thinking for hours and hours. Could there be a way you could stay? Any other way besides going back to that dreadful office with that fanged serpent inside. That beast. Wolf. Asshole.

Nothing came to you. Maybe you’d be lucky enough at the week’s end when your check finally arrived. Lucky enough to buy more time and search even farther for more open work opportunities. Yet luck is gentle sometimes, it hides away from the people that need it.

So you tossed and you turned for hours, feeling suffocated by the matting and lack of ribbons in your hair. Until you decided to just rip the bandaid off and give in. Or so you planned to. The bright light made you squint and press anything but the phone button, or maybe it was your subconscious. What you did press was a recommended video.

A woman, a gorgeous woman with jet black locks and intimidating eyes struck you silent as she simply said,

“Get up. No no no, I don’t care how you’re feeling right now, I don’t care that you lost them or you’re depressed or he hurt you. It. Doesn’t. Matter. Get up right now, go get pretty and go show the world how pretty you are. I promise you it will fix things.”

That’s all you saw before you were up on your feet, taking an everything shower for longer than you ever have. Tending to your wild curls and plump skin. You ate, too. Stale cereal as it was all you had but— you still ate.

Then you thought. You thought about what always makes you feel good again. Alive.

Dancing.

Now you could have risked your head and paid Katerina a visit, of course. Yet you played things smart. You took the next best thing. Ballet isn’t the only rhythm you know. You did your makeup and fit into your shiniest dress. Like a disco ball, glistening in silver. Then? You searched for the nearest nightclub nearby. One where you could just dance your problems away.

Now you’re here.

“Hey baby, I’m likin’ the way you move those hips tonight.”

Ew, he smells of strong liquor.

You only smile kindly at the stranger who’s missing a front tooth and twirl, turning your back on him and continuing to sway your hips. He takes it as an opportunity to place his hand on one— and you stumble forward, pushing it away.

Too many men have felt entitled to dancing with you tonight, and he’s just another. No one asks, anymore.

“No…” you sigh through a nervous giggle.

He sucks his tee— or tooth? “Bitch.” Is all he follows with.

You frown at that, parting your lips to utter another word but— you don’t get the chance.

“Hey, leave my friend alone!” That sing-song, familiar voice.

You turn on your heel where Cindy Moon stands tall, brows furrowed as she regards the drunk asshole who is acting like he owns rights to your swaying body.

“Cindy?” You sound shocked and god— you are. What a coincidence.

Soon as the vile man leaves, she grins wide at you and pulls you into the warmth of a tight hug. It’s the first one she’s ever given you. She hugs you so hard it’s as if she’s afraid you’ll slip into the crowd of dancers if she lets go. Christ, it’s only been a week.

As kind as this is, you’re baffled.

The music is pounding in your ears, so loud you’re borderline screaming, burning at your lungs so to speak to her.

“Wait, why are you here!?”

She tilts her ear toward you— taking a moment to analyze your voice before realization strikes her.

“Company gathering!”

What? Here?

You freeze.

She must see the terror in your eyes because she immediately raises two comforting palms and shakes her head.

“Nonono— don’t worry! He never comes to these! I mean- Jess always invites him but he hasn’t showed so, doubt he will today!”

The tension in your chest eases at once, your body surrendering to the vibration of the sound. You’re grateful to god now more than ever that he hates any living, breathing corner of the world with joy and fun. You can’t imagine him in a place like this.

Wait…

“Who is Jess!?”

Cindy starts to sway her hips as the prior song bleeds perfectly into the neck, you follow suite— hands raking back your wild curls.

“C-O-O! But don’t worry, she’s super cool! This was her idea! Hey— Miguel never told us why you quit anyways!?”

She’s awfully sweet and strikingly beautiful. You see the men looking at her from the corner of your gaze, mesmerized by the young beauty with the slender frame. Yet, sweet as she is— this was your night away from all of it. He is the last thing on your mind.

Your mind wanders, searching for the right answer to put a pin in this conversation. You find one soon enough.

“Morale.” You practically snort. It’s understood immediately.

She nods once, eyes squinting as she stands on her tip toes and searches over the lively crowd. As if there’s a lightbulb floating at the top of her head.

“Hey— let’s go grab a drink!”

She’s a genius, she must know the subject makes you squirm. You grab her hand, letting her lead you off to the bar where an awfully pregnant woman with gorgeous, coiled locks sits— sipping on what you hope is a virgin lemonade.

“Two shots!!” Cindy orders, leaning over the bar and getting chatty with the tender as he prepares them.

Alcohol, yes. Just what you need. You sigh in relief, taking a seat next to the Aphrodite sipping on her drink. Her curls are dark, and her skin is gorgeous and glassy, and she’s— staring at you.

Not for a single moment, no. She’s analyzing you. Eyes locked on the side of your face.

You offer her a quick glance, squirming in your seat as she squints.

Is there something on your face?

She gasps, it makes you jump.

“No shit… you must be Ribbons.”

Ribbons?

You turn to her, brows furrowed and eyes soft as they search for an understanding to what she means. She sticks her hand out, over her swelled belly and like a zombie- you shake it.

“Ribbons, it’s what they started calling you around the office. I’m Jess, from where you used to work.”

Jess.

She must see the realization settle in your eyes because she giggles. It’s a warm sound.

You can see why people like her, why they regard her highly. She’s gorgeous, and she smells of a garden with freshly bloomed jasmine blanketing it. And her smile, it’s welcoming.

You offer her your name with an embarrassed shake of your head, partnered with a soft laugh at your oblivious nature.

“It’s alright— you didn’t have the pleasure of meeting me before saving yourself from mister hates-everyone-and-everything.”

Oh, she’s funny. Lively. You like her. You only wish it was her instead that you worked under, maybe things would’ve been different. You’d bet your pretty soul that Cindy and Mary Jane must have thought the same thing, at least once.

Cindy returns to earth soon enough, no longer drooling over the blonde bartender with a boyish grin. She hands you a shot, keeps one for herself, and hands Jess one too. Your brows lift, concern swimming in your bright eyes.

“Don’t worry, it’s virgin. Just lemon juice and seltzer— didn’t want you to feel left out!”

The kind thing, you grin at that and so does Jessica. Your glasses raise in repetition of Cindy’s own.

“To you, Ribbons. For having the guts to do what none of us ever could and getting the hell out!” She’s joking, you think. But a more analytical part of you knows well that deep down, she is not.

Christ, he’s that bad.

“Amen to that, sister.” Jess adds, and you can only laugh at the irony as you clink your glasses and shoot the horrible, burning thing back. You immediately wince as the substance itches at the base of your throat, making your eyes swell with water whilst you cough.

“Ugh, is that tequila!?”

Cindy only nods before dropping the glasses down and grabbing your hand again. She barely flinched.

“Let’s go dance!”

You don’t get the opportunity to recover and say goodbye to the pregnant Aphrodite before you’re back out on the dance floor, swaying those hips to the beat. Except now, it’s with Cindy by your side. The music is good, the drinks being brought to you by mesmerized men are good, god- the night is good. Time feels slow as it passes. That lady was on to something. You showed the world your pretty face and you got rewarded for it.

Maybe it’s the alcohol or maybe the music but you finally feel it again. Alive. The buzz makes you feel loose, like with each sway of your hips— you’re throwing more of your problems into the burning pile and watching them melt away into nothing more than ash.

Meaningless ash. Where they can’t hurt you.

Cindy dances with a man beside you, but you dance alone. This moment, it feels too good to share with anyone else.

You don’t pay much mind to how long you’re there for, nor what’s happening around you. You don’t need to. You just need you right now, you and the music.

“I know right, she’s got the whole place looking!”

You hear above the bass; you don’t bother to listen more to Cindy’s voice or rather anything else except for the song. You’re lost in this safe little bubble, no one’s crowding you.

Wait— no one’s crowding you.

You open your eyes to see eyes staring back. Multiple, mesmerized by the way you’re moving those hips. Tipsy as you are— your face still flushes as you gaze back at them.

Your hips slow and then halt completely when the bony shoulder of a strawberry blonde bumps into your back.

“Hey, watch where you’re dancin— yeah?” A southern accent demands.

You frown at her, only seeing the back of her head as she storms past you. Christ, some night she’s having. She takes your place in the middle of the circle you created and attempts to move her hips. She looks— stiff. Like she’s trying to force the movement that should come fluidly in her hips.

Maybe you’re just drunk and critical as a former dancer. That must be it. You’ll leave her be, the room is too dizzy to care.

With a sigh, you bury yourself back into the crowd who have all turned their attention away from the circle. Whew, you’re feeling spun. Where Cindy, anyways?

Maybe it’s time for a water…

A record scratches, smirking mouth pressed up against the microphone as the DJ pulls it against his face.

“Alright alright— you guys havin’ a nice time tonight?” The crowd cheers, loud and rowdy as they look up at the record booth and lone, center stage. The DJ, he gets excited by the energy. As if he’s feeding from it.

“Alriiiiight, that’s what I like to hear. Now listen, rumor has it that right here, right now in this very moment— there’s a dancing queen among us. Oh yeah, I’m talkin’ full blown ABBA. I’ve seen her, I know you’ve seen her— light man...” He snaps his fingers, the singular luminescent glow from the ceiling lands upon him. He finishes, “Let’s find her in this crowd, shall we? Where is she?”

Your eyes scan over the crowd, curious to see just who they’re talking about.

God— she must be good for a personal shoutout in a place like this. You used all of the grocery money to get in here, it’s not like you’ve had much of an appetite, anyways…

Maybe it is the strawberry blonde with an attitude… no, no that would be absurd.

You squint as the light passes you quickly— but it soon snaps right back.

Your delicate palm softly lifts to shield it from your blinded eyes.

“There she is!” He announces, as if he’s found the first lick of gold in a deserted land of sand.

The crowd cheers, whistling and whooping as their hands pound together. You turn your head, looking each way for the dancing queen they speak of before you realize.

Oh…

It’s you.

You’re so drunk you can only giggle, covering your face with your palms as the DJ shakes his head,

“Oh no sweetheart, can’t get all shy now that you know everybody’s watching. We all saw the way you were moving those hips— we all saw it. Let me ask you muñequita, because I have a feeling. Do you know how to dance like a boricua? I saw the way you were moving, there is no chance in hell you’re an all white woman.”

He laughs at his own joke, and the crowd does too.

He’s right. Your father was a strong Puerto Rican man with intimidating eyes— he never smiled, nor did he come around often. But when he did come around? He taught you to dance. He loved to dance. You do too.

You snap yourself away from your thoughts, they’re waiting… they’re waiting and it feels so odd yet so right to have all those eyes on you.

The dancing queen…

Maybe this would’ve been your life had you not— well, tonight’s not the night to think about it. You’re far too buzzed and far too front and center to chicken out now.

You spread your fingers, eyes peeking out behind your palms. Maybe you shouldn’t but god— dancing just feels so good tonight. You nod, and the crowd cheers again.

“See, knew it. Knew it. I’m never wrong, I’m never wrong. So, chiquita bonita, how about you get up here and we give them a show— eh? What do you say?”

A show…

You can’t even deny or overthink it before the crowd starts chanting “do it, do it, do it,” in unison. Someone with cold hands pushes you forward and before you let better judgment stop you from swaying your hips center stage— you’re already up there. The lights follow you; they blind you.

“There we go! Alright, my beloved gringos and gringas can sit this one out— we’re gonna dance a little merengueeee.” He emphasizes the word in a way that makes all the girls swoon.

What are you doing? What are you doing? You don’t know. Daddy taught you merengue. You love merengue, but all these people…

Your mind flashes back to the week straight that you were wrapped like a mummy in your sheets. The tears, the loneliness, the dread. And now— here you are. They’re all looking at you like you’re a star.

…

Oh, fuck it.

The DJ spins a record again and soon enough a symphony of instruments and strings begin to flow throughout the speakers. Everyone cheers as he adjusts the needle and pulls his headphones off from his head.

Thank god, you’d just about melt if you had to dance this alone. He hurries over to you. He has kind, brown eyes and a mustache just above his contagious smile. His belly is soft, it protrudes just a bit.

“Peter.” He greets where only you can hear him. You peer up at him shyly, feeling the heat of the moment suffocate you. You haven’t had this many eyes on you since you were with Katerina. The very distant, sober part of you is tugging your hand. Begging you to get off stage.

Peter furrows his brows,

“Hey— don’t look at them. Look at me.”

He’s awfully kind, and he’s right. If you play pretend, this moment could feel euphoric. You nod, forgetting all your worries as the long intro finally comes to an end.

“Bajo una noche estrellada, de luna llena…”

See, the thing about dancers is that no matter how loud the mind screams, the body won’t stop moving. Yours is no different.

His palms are warm as they press against your own. You clasp your fingers against his and keep his warm brown eyes centered as the only thing in sight.

The dancer you are, your hips start to sway.

“Ahi está.” He praises, one hand falling to rest against your hip, following each effortless motion and figure eight they make in unison with the beat. Something about him, it’s safe. It’s gentle. It’s— a really good merengue dancer.

Christ…

You giggle as he moves his hips, leading your mesmerizing motions. He’s putting you on display, twirling your sparkling dress under the spot lights for the whistling crowd to see. He spins you once, twice, thrice, then he stops you— your back to him.

“You okay with this?” He whispers in your ear, you nod— grateful he asked for a yes. The first man tonight who has, unfortunately…

Your hips move back against him, his leg— at least that’s what you think it is. You’re too drunk to know any better.

You both move in unison, and although he’s the only thing that exists in your mind right now aside from the music— you can feel the crowd. In your bones and chest, vibrating louder than the sound that leads you and the hands that guide you. Feel their eyes and excitement as you do as he said and give them a show.

“You’re bringing me lots of business tonight, dancing queen.”

Your cheeks are pink from the buzz, and you laugh as he twirls you again— back into the first position. You both sway your hips, the trumpet of the song a euphoric sound. He reaches a hand out, pushing it in an upward motion to signal the crowd to get louder.

God- they do.

They do as you twirl again, as you move your body for them to see.

A dazzling starlet.

You’re lost, so lost in the moment that you feel like finally, you’ve reached it. That peak, just at the top of the mountain where no one and nothing else exists. Nothing plagues you, no. Just this moment.

Your curls are wild and free, no longer tamed by your straightener and ribbons, they dance on their own, too.

You could stay here forever.

Peter steps back, holding your intertwined hands up in the air— only moving his hips softly as he puts you front and center. In this moment, you no longer feel like a ballerina in a box. No, you’re the ballerina who leaped outside of that stupid wooden box. That stupid office. Stupid dance room.

Stupid boss.

Stupid Katerina.

Stupid Miguel.

Hey… that guys kinda looks like—

Peter twirls you swiftly back into his arms and continues moving. You’re still facing front, the rhythm controlling your body like it’s got strings sewn into your limbs.

But that guy…

The crowd is slowly fading back as the lights get a bit dimmer. You squint behind the hundreds of gazes on you so you can see— and Christ, do you see it.

Him.

Miguel fucking O’Hara.

And his eyes? Those intimidating eyes…

They’re glued on to you. Nothing else but you, as if you’re the only breathing creature besides himself that exists in this room. It must be him, you can’t delude yourself into believing or seeing otherwise. He’s seated beside a smiling Jessica.

Your gazes lock.

Woah….

The air leaves you, and you’re certain you turn entirely red against your silver. You stumble, and Peter catches you.

“You okay?”

You turn to meet his warm brown orbs.

You need to leave— now.

You’re drunk, and nauseous.

“No no I- m’ sorry I have to go.” Like Cinderella in the night. Only you’re running from the monster, not to it.

The crowd “awws” in unison as you part from Peter’s hands and softly make your way to the stairs. You leave him confused as he grabs the vacant mic.

He takes the attention off of you and quickly puts it back onto himself, likely seeing the panic in your eyes. You’d suffocate if the crowd watched you crumble.

“The dancing queen everybody, leaving me quicker than my first wife.”

The stairs make you dizzy, you grip tightly onto the rail as you descend them. Oh, the room is spinning. It’s smaller. Are you panicking again? No no, you can’t. Not while drunk.

Why is Katerina coming to the forefront of your mind?

Oh god, you are.

“That was awesome!” Cindy calls, gently grabbing your arm.

All of it, it’s all echoing.

“I have to go…” you breathe out as you push past her. Merengue makes people move, so so much. It’s hard to weave through. You’re gonna vomit. You are so gonna vomit right now.

You huff,

“Excuse me, please…”

They don’t listen or make it easy, but you’re slender enough to push through for the most part. The trumpets still play in the background, chasing you out and the crowd is laughing at something Peter is doing on stage. You don’t pay it any mind.

You need to go, you need air— distance.

“Oh!” Another bump against your shoulder from the strawberry blonde, harsher this time and you fall against a brick wall. Er- that’s what it feels like.

Your hands immediately lift to steady yourself against the firm stranger’s torso as your body straightens up. You’re so, so dizzy— and you’re certain that you’re drunk now because your speech is slurred.

The tequila.

“M’ so sorry I-”

Your mouth goes slack once you’re able to lift the soft curve of your chin from where it once stared at leather shoes.

It’s then that the scent of firewood and espresso all floats back— slamming against your senses like a crashing wave to shore. So suddenly. Looking down at you under the sparkling lights, in the sea of joyous people…

Dark eyes, tense jaw, long hair…

It’s him…

Mr. O’Hara…

🏷️’s: @reirain @needybitez @migueloharastruelove @laysmt @maomaimao @daisy-artfield @poutysprouty @chorizobeets @tabalittlelong @iitangerine | chap 8 song 🎧:

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dollyyun · 2 months

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ruby the ending of 7.1 had me ALL the way fucked up 😭😭😭💔💔 the threesome threesome fivesome combo knocked the air out of my damn chest bc PHEW. back to back dp made me dizzy our yn is a damn TROOPER like fuck 😭 but fr it was perfect we got jayke and heehoon and ofc jakehoon in the kitchen YIPEE YIPEE i love how u give attention to all the duos bc. the different relationship dynamics make every threesome unique and it brings me sm joy ehehehe.

anyway about to go reread bc i miss how soft they were with yn :((( esp jaeyun.. i have always had a soft spot for dkp jaeyun for some reason IDK he's just a lil baby to me. so excited for 7.2 whenever you do release it (PLEASE take your time and take care of yourself! irl happenings are more important and i care you so bad <3)

lots of love :3

i'm (not) sorry for the ending🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 it was a need, but i promise that it'll get better next😌🤞🏻

LMAO Y/N A DAMN TROOPER😭💀 but yeah she is made out of steel fr mad respect to my bby🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

hehe thank you thank you, i was deciding hard which duo to focus on before going with the flow of who i had in mind🤭 i love jayke part when they were being a little chaotic😭 i'm glad it brings you joy tho!

aww don't worry, you'll get to see their soft side towards y/n again soon🫶🏻 bae, i think everyone i know of has a soft spot for dkp jaeyun🥹 my boy just needs some loving <333

thank you as well for the reminder! sara care me :((( ilym💗💗💗

#sara 🌷#ruby's moots!#the devil’s knights’ prey

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twinkskeletons · 10 months

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okay first off, love you <333 and secondly, it’s gonna. well i can’t promise it’s gonna get better tomorrow or next week but it might, you never know!!! that’s the thing about us (rock bottom sue eye cide craving 20-somethings), things can’t really get much worse anyway so! the only way is up! (<- me forcing myself into optimism so i don’t kms)

what i can promise is that your life isn’t meaningless, waking up isn’t meaningless, getting up isn’t meaningless. hell, staying in bed isn’t meaningless. not in the context of your life, and the things happening around you. and if you think about the context of the universe then all of it is meaningless anyway so might as well reduce it down until you find meaning! otherwise what would be the point of art and literature and music and nature? it’s not gonna matter in the end, but it matters NOW. and so do you. bc how else are you gonna experience all that?

“inherent worth to your life” arguments never worked on me, honestly, and neither did “but the ppl whose lives you make better :(“ ones (they might for you!!!) bc literally they don’t exist really, but what did work on me is realising that kms would mean i wouldn’t get to look at stuff anymore. not read nor write nor listen to music nor rain nor poetry nor watch films and sunrises and birds nesting and the way the sky darkens and the moon. the moon! that big ass rock! illuminated by another’s light and yet the most beautiful thing to lift your eye to! im a bit of a romantic so you know. that worked on me. has been working for like, half a decade now. so you reallllllllllllly gotta find the argument that works on you.

cause there’s stuff that’s important to you, right? reduce it down to that, if you have to, for now, even if it’s one thing. love that one thing with everything you have. it’s gonna get easier to breathe. so breathe. breathe when it’s easy, and breathe extra hard when it’s hard. i believe in you!!!!!!!! “meaning” is so fucking vague anyway. who decides that shit!!! who cares!!! the most important part is that inside you there’s a beating heart whose pumping is testament to the love you feel for whatever it is. there’s meaning in that, i can definitely promise that.

this got. extraordinarily long. so im sorry for giving you the choice to read all that cause really, you don’t have to. but i hope it helps, like, just a little, to recategorize and breaaatheeeeeee. xo

waugh this is so nice thank u :’) i think my biggest problem is that im just. so alone and that will never change and can really only get worse when my entire family disowns me for being trans. only time i talk to people im not related to is when im threatening suicide on tumblr lolll and i kind of dont know how to interact with people outside of that anymore.. not sure i ever did actually my experience with the three friends i made in high school was sitting and listening to them talk to each other and never saying anything myself which. doesn’t really translate to online very well. ur right though there are at least two things i care abt my dogs and my art so i guess i just need 2 really focus on those 👍 keep making merch and planning that potential artist alley table

#really hard to actually pick up my pencil most of the time though -_-#answered #and ofc there’s the jealousy how could we forget the jealousy #soo sucks anytime i see someone draw better than me or get more attention it makes me miserable it’s so cringe + lame

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semper-legens · 2 years

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28. History of a Drowning Boy, by Dennis Nilsen

Owned: No, library Page count: 333 My summary: The autobiography of serial killer Dennis Nilsen, written over the course of many years during his time imprisoned for his crimes, with the aim of giving an overview of his life and contextualising the murders he committed. My rating: 4/5 My commentary:

Part two of my look at Dennis Nilsen. This one's his autobiography, compiled and condensed from a manuscript he wrote in several parts while in jail for murder. Nilsen died in 2018, and this book was published after his death. It sounds kind of cliche to say that there's something creepy about reading a serial killer's descriptions and justifications of his actions, but the portion of this book that actually details Nilsen's crimes is certainly unsettling, to say the least. While Nilsen protests throughout the text that he has been unfairly maligned, this is true and it isn't. He seems to blame everything on people's negative perceptions of him as a gay man, apart from when specifically the families of his victims criticise him for, you know, murdering their loved ones. And while some of the sensationalised ways the media reported on his crimes was too much, the attempts Nilsen makes of painting himself as largely the victim at all times and in all things are heavily, heavily biased.

It's fascinating how much of this book is Nilsen complaining about percieved injustices that have allegedly happened to him. He focuses so much on how his identity as a gay man has been maligned by those who meet him that you almost forget this man killed twelve people. Almost. The way he frames the murders, too, is interesting - he sees his murdering people as an act of love, of 'saving' them from the ravages of time and preserving them in one moment where they are his. It all goes back, to hear him tell it, to his grandfather, who Nilsen loved. His grandfather molested him, and later died when Nilsen was six, fuelling his fetishisation both of unbalanced relationships between a boy and an older man and of death broadly.

A lot of this cannot be substantiated with evidence other than his own word. But then again, if you're reading this book, it's because you want to know in Nilsen's own words what happened and how he rationalised it. The majority of his account, however, focuses more on his life behind bars. It's another one where I'm torn - on the one hand I can totally believe that prison guards at the facilities Nilsen was jailed were mistreating prisoners, and on the other I want to be careful how much of his account I take for granted. Especially since most of it is him complaining. The overall impression I got was that Nilsen was a man who thought himself the only one bold enough to stand up to injustices, who made some mistakes but cannot be judged for them except by those who his actions directly impacted. It's a form of narcissism, really. He's always in the right, no matter what. He presents himself as being very forthcoming to the authorities, and yet the only wrongdoing he admits in the book is the murder. (Well, he also details himself paying for sex with an underage boy, but it's not framed as though he saw that as wrong.) To sum up, however, this is a fascinating portrait of a deeply disturbed person, and I am glad I read it, despite the subject matter.

Next up, a different serial killer! Sorry. We're moving onto something that isn't murder after this, promise.

#History of a Drowning Boy #Dennis Nilsen #bookblr #book blog #book blogger #4

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yxmxg · 3 months

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Hey besties :))

It’s June 23, 2024. On a Sunday at 5:49pm. Here’s a love/thank you note to a few people in my life that I feel have impacted me in this journey these last 3 months.

Starting off the right way we will start with…

Dylan: Dylan thank you so much for being such a positive force in my life. That’s the one adjective I’d never use to describe my life: Positive. I’d never realized how important it was to stay positive until spending time with you. Watching your optimistic view of the world helped me immensely. Not only did you have a view for the world, you had a such a strong view for yourself. Honestly and openly revealing what hurt you and showing how quickly you could bounce back from it with reinforcement. That reinforcement being positive thinking. This is a skill I still struggle with but because of you it’s a mindset I thoughtful am trying to incorporate into my day to day. Positive thinking all year! That’s the only way Im going to make it through.

Next we haveeee….

Maria aka sol (we for two of y’all on here): I feel like in the last year to this one we’ve gotten the closest I think we’ve ever been. Not saying we were never close before but I’d like to believe we’ve reached another level of understanding. I always like to say you have certain friends you feel like you don’t need to think with. Or as if you guys share the same brain at times. That’s how I’ve felt with us within the last few months and I’m so excited to see it grow more this summer. I love you oh so much and I’m so proud of you. Keep going after what you want. Just remember to include those who love you just as much as you love the drive <333

Next we ofc have…

Maria: Thanks for always being my number one supporter. There’s many reason I’m standing here and you’re part of it. Every few months for years I get a message along the lines of “when’s the album coming”. And girl idk. But I got a song coming 🤭. Surprise surprise. Not really but you get it. Just so you know you gonna run my main fan account duhh cuz I mean who has better experience than you. Social media manger here you goooo. I love you so so much. Keep doing what you are doing. You’re gonna get it right back I promise.

Up next!

Sav: thanks for trusting me so blindly omfg 😭. Listen it’s either you vouching it off of Dylan’s character or what. Thanks for always just believing. It could be any crazy idea, song, plans, etc. I’m impulsive but you’ve never made me feel crazy for being such. You see the vision with me. Support is everything and you are nothing without the people who uplift you. So thanks for being a new person in my life who’s keeping me a float.

Speaking of trust…

Troy: omg Troy. You are just you. Idk. You like sav are someone who has never made me feel crazy for this journey. For this process of making music or for my own personal growth. Within these last few months you’ve gone from a coworker to a stable character in life. You’ve given me so much kindness from day one and continue to back my dreams and offer that same kindness. Rather it be letting me come use your washer in the am, listening to my music in the process of creating, or letting me use your backyard to build a stage and use someone extra space for a studio. You have offered me so so much support. To me that means the world <33333

Gonna end it with…

Rye: This has been a frustrating, exciting, and challenging process. I’m not gonna say too much because I’m not gonna talk about any of it, BUTTT. Thanks for believing in my ideas and helping them come true. The day will come!!!

(IM GONNA DO ONE MORE BEFORE THIS MONTH ENDS FOR MORE.)

Everyone in here you’ve just been reoccurring in my thoughts recently and I’d thought I’d let you know. Much love to you all. And I wish nothing more for you to prosper and do great things. Love you much please take care and I’ll see most of you on the 10th!!!

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koostarcandy · 2 years

Text

crazy, stupid love.

pairing: jungkook x fem!reader

summary: jungkook doesn't think of himself as man who would do reckless things for love, no. but he'd go to any heights, even if it drives him insane just for his love. alternative? his drug is his baby.

warnings: whew, jungkook himself is a warning, tatted!pierced!jaykay, he's koo bby for oc (unnamed) and jaykay for everyone else, talks of illegal substances, innocent(?) reader, she's conservative (kinda)

a/n: biggest thenks to this gorgeous being ♡♡♡@joondiary♡♡♡ from the banner to the drabble, she helped so much ㅠㅠ this is for you mills🥰 inspired by don't blame me by taylor swift <333 happie reading

"you went on your knees? are you serious?" jimin blinks, a strawberry scented haze surrounding him but still sober enough to hear what jungkook just said.

"you heard me," jungkook shrugs, "I told you, I'd do anything to make her stay." taking a last swig of his beer, he crushes the can and shoots a perfect goal into the overflowing bin, "so how did it go? is she as pure as they say?" jimin asks in a half hearted effort to keep the conversation going, waiting for his boyfriend to come back.

"please, baby, I swear I won't be that stupid next time, I promise!"

in hindsight, jungkook slowly realises walking into your classroom during the middle of a lecture to take you out was a dense decision. the apples of your cheeks are flushed in anger, the heaving of your body indicating your rising fury. jungkook gulps, taking a step closer to soothe you.

"it's not just that, you know? I barely see you because you want to go all those parties and get yourself recklessly high and drunk!" he understands where you're coming from, knowing you're not a big advocate for the messy bashes he attends religiously and he doesn't blame you. no one would want to be with him, rash and uncaring of his consequences. if it was anyone else, he would've opened the door immediately, ushering them to their exit out of his life.

but for you?

jungkook can recall the time he refused a blunt at a party, eliciting raised eyebrows and teasing taunts, poking his Achilles heel. you do make him weak, in all the right places. it was a struggle but seeing your proud and contented face was worth the wrestle with his addictions.

you made him for the better, hence why he was on his knees in an instant when he saw you pick up your bag. "I need you to stay," he confesses, his voice ending in a whisper, doe eyes pleading you. your eyes are raking all over him, walking up to him so you could pull him up. he stays put, hands around your waist and face buried in your tummy.

your hands go to his hair immediately, knowing it could calm him down. tears fall from his remorseful eyes, apology sincere and heart out in the open. jungkook's sure he's never opened up to anybody like this, let alone you.

"you don't need use those things to escape reality koo" you say gently, fingers massaging his scalp and hushing his sobs effectively. "I can always help you, we can paint and go to mcdonalds at 2 a.m," seeing you suggest several methods at the top of your head just to assure him you'd never leave, jungkook knows the only person he needs to be addicted to would be you.

jimin is speechless at the end of jungkook's monologue, joined by his boyfriend with their mouths slightly open. obviously, jungkook left out certain parts which would involve him being the butt of jokes again but it seems like they get the point.

"that's crazy" taehyung declares, "you're gonna give up having fun with us? that's a load of-"

"fun in moderation, taehyungie," jungkook says wisely and it's got the pair have their eyes almost out of their sockets.

his harum-scarum ways and devil-may-care attitude seem to have disappeared and their enlarged eyes follow jungkook leaving the party, weaving through the crowds eagerly, a giddy smile on his face which they know isn't from the time he spent with them.

"here you go, koo!" jungkook takes the money from your hands and immediately intertwines his tattooed hand with yours, tipping the cab driver who brought him home and wishes him a safe night.

"how was the party? are your friends okay? do you wanna go anywhere? mcdonalds? the park?"

"slow down, baby, let's get inside first," chuckling at your bubbly self and leading you inside your shared abode. he finds the place exactly how he left it, save for the canvas sitting to the side of the room, a blue sea in the making. his furrowed eyebrows turn to you in question and you seem sheepish, "I was listening to my sea by iu on repeat," you say and place your chin on his chest.

jungkook realises he still smells like the place he left and hates to pull away from you, bribing you with a trip to the stationery and art supply store and chicken nuggets. "with my favourite sauce?" jungkook nods confidently, "you don't even need to ask, darling."

"I'd like to think we all have one inside of us, a sea, that is. a comfort place, person or anything. somewhere or someone we know we can fall back on. sometimes we may lose sight of it and can get caught in the eye of the storm but at the end of the day, they're always there and it gives you hope to see another day, you know?"

jungkook is in awe at your retrospective point of your view, eyes shining in adoration. you feel the silence is too loud, turning yourself so you could see him from where you are and find getting closer to you, eyes shifting to you and your circular painting of the deep blue sea, decorated with cotton candy clouds.

you put the paintbrush down, rubbing the blue paint between your fingers, "what'd you think?" you ask him gingerly, mentally preparing yourself for any criticism.

"what's your comfort, baby?"

you tilt your head in slight confusion, not expecting the question. you take a wet tissue and rub the stains out of your hands, "I find it in the times we go get boba after classes," you giggle, "sometimes I find it when you're angry at the male lead in dramas when they're doing something silly or maybe when we're just on the couch, chilling, talking about the most random of things." your eyes are gleaming at him, nimble hands around his waist, "you're my comfort, koo."

jungkook decides, then and there, that every crazy thing he's done in the time he's known you and everytime he made himself look stupid in front of you to make you laugh on your downcast days was worth it, the only high he'd ever need was you loving him.

you pull back for much needed oxygen, both your eyes blown out, swimming with passion. running his fingers through your soft hair and pulling you back, jungkook knows he'd do insane and asinine things to get you with him, go too far and cross the line, all to keep you with him for the rest of his life.

pecking your soft lips, jungkook goes back for more everytime, the exhilarating feeling he gets will never be enough. his hands cup your face, all the profound emotions he could never put into words poured into the intimate moment.

pt time: @armys-dna ; @joondiary ; @soobhyun ; interact with this post to be added !!

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husbandhoshi · 3 years

Note

can’t stop thinking about forcing dom!jeonghan into submission halfway through… god i just want to choke him and mark him up </333

tags: softdom!reader, whiny but whipped!jeonghan, light choking, sappy “i miss you” sex, feelings. a lot of feelings

wc: 1.5k

it's been the longest month of your life, not having seen jeonghan.

he's been on a business trip halfway across the world—you've subsided off of fuzzy facetime calls, some nestled between luxe hotel bedsheets, his face tired and warm as he drifts off to sleep, some in glowing marble bathrooms, watching his pretty cock slide in his fist, your own fingers knuckle-deep in your cunt.

finally, you get to enjoy the real him. you can't say which has been your favorite part of the day—perhaps surprising him with flowers at the airport, or making his favorite meal at home while he unpacked and recapped the insufferable businessman he sat next to on the flight home.

or now, propped up against the headboard, dark eyes glittering in the lamplight as you ride his lap, the rosy shadow of your lipstick on your jaw, all messy from giving him head earlier.

"fuck, darling, just like that." jeonghan's head tips back in pleasure, eyes wrenched shut as a beautiful groan is ripped from him. "missed you," he pants. "missed you so damn much."

you cradle his head into your chest, savoring the way his breath fans against your skin, the feverish skim of his fingertips against your sides as he retraces your body back into memory.

normally, jeonghan's the one in control in the bedroom. not that you minded, as he always made sure you came more times than you could count, even if it meant you couldn't walk straight the next day.

you feel his hips rock up into you like they always do. even now you can tell, underneath the exhaustion, he's two seconds away from flipping you over and telling you he's going to make sure he fucks the shape of him back into you.

but you want to take care of him, you want to see him crying underneath you (one, because it's hot, and two, what better way to have him unwind after a long trip?).

his fingers dig into your hips and his pink lips find their home on one of your nipples. when his teeth graze against it, you arch into him, feeling your resolve briefly falter. but you're determined to make good on your mental promise.

"lemme take care of you," you say. you sink back onto his cock just to watch his brow furrow.

jeonghan cocks an eyebrow up. "what do you mean? aren't you already?" his hips teasingly kick up into you, and your toes curl; you fight the urge to close your eyes as you feel your cunt flutter around him.

"you know what i mean." a firm press of your hand to his chest. "i want you to relax. just listen to me, and i'll take care of you." to punctuate your statement, you swivel your hips, tightening your core just enough to squeeze the breath out of him.

he's about to protest, but the instant it slips, you straighten all the way up, letting the head of his cock slap against his tight stomach. "just let me," you say, more softly this time, and he's either fucked out, exhausted, or wholly in love with you, because he finally sinks back down into the mattress and bites his cheek.

as a reward, you fuck yourself back onto his cock and let your hips connect so your walls hug tightly around him, committing his cock to memory. jeonghan makes a sound between a whine and a whimper; his hand has felt nowhere near as good as the heat of your cunt, and he's already overwhelmed by you, your smell, your touch, your everything.

"feel good?"

"y-yeah—," he breathes. your lithe hands drop down from the sides of his head to his chest, and you place two thumbs on his nipples, feeling them pebble underneath your skin as you roll your hips over him. "look so sexy on top."

you press a thumb into a nipple hard, and jeonghan moans so airily, so prettily that you wish you recorded it for posterity. "just needed a simple answer, baby," you remind, and he nods, made easy and pathetic by how perfect your cunt is, how good you're fucking him. " 'm sorry, just feels too good."

he even laughs a little, a breathy one, and you grab his chin to tip his lips up for a kiss. you've missed everything about this moment, how he sighs into your mouth as your hips become flush again, the rasp of his groan when you catch his bottom lip between your teeth and suck.

"i'm close," he says, jaw clenched. "w-wanna cum together."

"you'll cum when i want you to," you reply darkly, splaying your hands over his chest and watching him shudder from the contact.

god, you thought you were touch-starved, but you can't imagine how jeonghan must have felt, in a hotel room a million miles away with no pieces of home to comfort him like you had.

"and as many times as i want you to, okay?" you finish. you plant a wet kiss on his forehead before he nods one, two, three times, so desperate and blissed out from the glove of your cunt.

you've been fucking him nice and slow, but you mercifully up the pace and watch his lips fall open; he looks so ridiculously pretty under you. one of your hands slide up to the base of his neck without applying any pressure, but you can still feel the way his breath stutters, the vibration of the moan in the back of his throat. the space between your bodies is nonexistent, heartbeats touching, your arm sandwiched between your heaving chests.

"tell me if you want me to stop." you look him dead in the eye and admire how his irises look aflame in the light. how they flicker under his drooping eyelids, heavy with pleasure, but still meet your gaze with want.

you've done this before, but somehow it feels more intimate. perhaps it's the way you are skin to skin, drinking up each other's presence in the way that you do when it's been absent for so long. maybe it's the way he can't control the way his hips twitch underneath yours, how he so clearly loves the cradle of your thighs around his waist.

"squeeze," jeonghan says, and it's threaded in between a moan, so you tell him to say it again. "harder. please. please."

and you do, your pretty nails leaving the faintest of crescents in his unmarked skin, letting him keen up as his dick twitches in your cunt.

"missed you, baby," you whisper, hand tight around him. "so much. feel how tight i am? filling me up so good." a roll of your hips, a choked, breathless gasp from his throat. "waited so long for this, god, fuck."

your hips crash down again, and jeonghan whimpers, eyes glassy as his gaze is fixed on you. his face sits pretty in the curve of your hand; he's mouthing yes, love you, love you, because his voice fails him. you shift your hand slightly upwards so his head tips back, the ridge of his jaw is so tempting and so you kiss it, let your teeth run against it and suck.

another broken sigh, he's rutting, twitching because he feels so good. you're filled with a rush of affection; jeonghan, with his usual spinning, busy mind, is now putty in your hands, just fully and completely yours.

"want you to cum," you order, patiently, sweetly. "fill me up, okay?"

he nods, tears pooling between his long lashes. you know he's been waiting; his stamina is usually incredible, but it fills you with pride how sensitive you've made him.

you've been holding back too, voice steely and resolute, but your slick pooling on his lap betrays you. god, normally he'd tease you for absolutely soaking him, but today, there's no teasing, just heat and sweat and the bloom of the hickey you just left on jeonghan's jaw.

he tenses up, eyes hazy, and falls apart, cum spilling into you as you clamp around his cock. he's whining at the overstimulation; you seal your lips over his, and he gratefully, pitifully licks into your mouth, sighing as you bob your hips on him a few more times to milk his cock, pussy still tight with your approaching orgasm.

you release his neck, admiring the blush that fills the space instead, and he takes in another shaky breath as he struggles to put together words.

"want another one," you demand. jeonghan thinks your pout is so cute, so devastating, but he's in no position to tell you what to do. so instead he kisses you, a headspinning, proper one now that he's beginning to gather his bearings.

"whatever you want," he says. "c-can't right now though." his brows knit together from the bite of overstimulation as your walls clench around him again.

"baby—"

"i-i'll eat you out," jeonghan says, recovering. "please. been dreaming about tasting your pussy."

"and then i'll fuck you again."

"deal."

#THIS IS NOT NEARLY AS FILTHY AS IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN....#also i didn't really fill the brief </3 whoopsies #also i dont even think this is good. LMFAO #ask #anon #jeonghan #mine #rq #seventeen smut #jeonghan smut

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xylomane · 2 years

Text

Genshin Characters "First kiss" with you

Ft. Zhongli, Diluc, Ayato, Venti, and Childe.

Enjoy my beloveds!! <333

Zhongli ❁●❁●❁

You were just walking together one night around Liyue Harbor, where the noises of the busy streets sound faint. It was the perfect night for something peaceful with your lover—the moon is a glowing pearl amidst the balanced stars and clouds ruling the skies. The feeling of his presence strangely makes you feel whole, he's the flower your butterflies kept flocking over. Your fingertips kept brushing against his and it doesn't bother you. You even had the idea of him doing it on purpose. Just as you were about to gaze silently at him without him supposedly knowing, he glances at you. Aureate eyes questioning your intentions but they have a hint of tenderness and care...

and love.

The once God, now mortal with his still godly features stops before you, hands cupping yours and making sure your eyes only look at his. Your heart skipped beats, did silly acrobatics, and you take nervous inhales as he begins to say his irresistible confessions.

"As you may know... I am no longer the God of Geo. I have stepped down from that name and has fulfilled my duty therefore leading myself to end all contracts, to join the mortals and live life like how they do. Though upon the many stories I have involved myself in, this certainly is not something... I expect."

Something about his last words held melancholy. A melancholic music although it makes the heart strangely more alive. Something about it sounds sad yet beautiful. They're words of pure honesty.

"I... love you." He says and his words ring in your head. 'I love you. I love you. I love you, he said.' You held your breath.

"And I will never sign a contract to be with you because I am willing to instead form something beyond that between the both of us, if you wish to stay." He lovingly tells you as he tucks a few strands of hair behind your ear.

You didn't know what to say as your eyes welled with tears. You love him so much.

"Yes... I wish to stay." You say between sniffs and a long stream of tears. Zhongli carefully touches your chin with his two fingers, angling you to look up at him without trembling and his eyes and small smile promised that of a bright simple future for the both of you.

"Then let's weave our fates to stay connected forever so death won't do us part." He tells you with deep devotion and fondness that the next thing you know, his lips are on you. Soft, light, and careful lips met yours and it melts your being. You feel yourself rest on his chest, heaving up and down with warmth as you followed his rythmic, light pecks. He bites your underlip a lot, deliberately and softly and both of you tries to treat each other's lips with passionate and delicate kisses.

Only when you two have finally broken from the kiss, did you look at each other one more time before chuckling. Zhongli seems to be witnessing the best part of his life, and it's clear you are too. The moon that shines between your two heads illuminates the night you two swore to be more than a contract.

Diluc *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

A gloved hand silently writes elegantly hand-written writings on a paper, all of them meant for business reasons. But the once dapper knight couldn't find his mind in the same focus as his body. His mind is somewhere else, forcing his eyes to glance at you before the fireplace, dancing like a flame of comfort. He bought you a new cloth to wear and you've loved it the moment he gave it to you but what truly made you love it even more is the fact that they came from your lover. The moment you wore it, you find yourself twirling and watching yourself in front of the mirror until you reach the fireplace, proudly looking at his gift on your body.

The winery owner simply could not muster his numbing feelings any longer and the nervousness building up in his stomach everytime he wonders when to do the very move stresses him. He wants to be an open gate to you. Whatever feelings he has burried deep within his locked heart is now open only for your knowing. You're his, his mind says. You're so beautiful and lovely, his mind says. I want to be loved, his mind says louder.

"And I want to love again." His mouth whispers, it being uninentionally louder so your ears catch his words.

"What?" You ask innocently, a smile that made him worry of losing you etched on your lips. You pause from your little dance to properly look at him and he seems a little surprised. His hand then forgets the pen and leaves it on the desk and he walks towards you deliberately, looking down and looking rather...

shy.

"I love you so much. You light up my dark days and you've done so many beautiful changes in my life." He says a little breathless, rough, and deep as he wraps an arm around your waist, the other filling the gaps between your fingers as if preparing to do a ball dance. There are faint cherry blushes on his cheeks and you smile at his cuteness. "Thank you... for being my lover." And suddenly, he presses his lips on you, deep and strong like their aim was to savor every last bit of you. He then settles down for a bit, waiting for you to return the passionate gesture and you do it willingly, nibbling his upperlip back. You two break out from the kiss only for Diluc to peck your lips again and fan them with his hot breaths, his left hand now massaging your back while the other held your head. You allow to let his tongue slip in and he carefully pulls you closer to get deeper so he can kiss you stronger. More passionately.

It's one of those kisses that warm you up so much. The type of kiss that makes you forget you were even in a world—that makes you think you're somewhere else too comforting. Too comforting to be an actual world where nothing is perfect.

Because this moment is perfect. And you would do anything to experience it again. To feel the kindling fire of love burning inside both of your hearts.

It goes repeatedly like this for who knows how long. But the winery owner and you are all alone in this room, sharing a very blissful and rare moment with nothing else in mind but the simple touches and close contact of your skins.

Ayato ❁●❁●❁

The moment the Kamisato Clanhead laid his eyes on you, he knew you were the one. He felt the red strings of love tugging at him and pulling him towards you, urging him to finally make a connection with you that would hopefully last forever.

At first, he tied strings on his fingers to make some Inazumans his very puppets with Narukami island itself being the stage. He arranged his clever ideas almost everywhere you go to in Inazuma. Like how you suddenly began getting free flowers from some florists because they find you kind and respectful to the elderly which you really are but in reality, Ayato actually bought them himself and asked them to deliver it to you with that specific excuse.

When you tell him about it after days of intimate friendship, he simply tells you that the elderlies love you followed with a whispered "So do I." And you turn your head back just in time to catch his gaze.

"Uhm... what?" You ask, trying to make sure your mind didn't make that up.

"Nothing." The Clanhead says with his signature decieving smile. Many seem to fall for it but you can see through his mask well and sometimes have the gut feeling of his intentions.

Kamisato Ayato doesn't seem to hide the fact that he wants to impress you at all because he knows it's useless to a person who sees through layers of facades. It was the Kamisato Clanhead's wish and desire for you not to love him for his power but rather... for who he really is. He only shows his true sides to you, whether it be intimidating, awkward, cute, shy, or sorrowful. Even at his darkest days, he opens himself up for you. You thought it was mainly because the Clanhead sees your advices most effective and even thought about being a therapist in the future which, although sounds laughable to yourself who never thought you'd one day think to be one, still considers the idea quite the right track.

It was on one special evening and it was the Kamisato Clanhead's birthday. The older he gets, the more feelings he cages deep inside his heart and they're all for you. He questioned himself multiple times if you can handle being his significant other because although he loves you, he wants you to not be pressured by the sudden changes you're about to experience in your life once you're his.

May you still have your freedom even if he himself won't have much of it due to his work.

As you entered the Kamisato Estate, the first thing you saw was him before the low tea table, then you hear words from his guard. "The Clanhead expects you. Please head to him." You nodded and obeyed quickly despite that already being the reason why you're there.

"Hey, Ayato... Happy Birthday!" You greet him, followed by a lovely smile that made his heart burst to fireworks. He can't help falling deeper in love with you each day, with or without you. You're just so perfect.

He smiles happily at you and tells you to take a seat. You proceed to sit down, legs bent and touching your thighs. It is the Inazuman way. You then began showing your bundle of gifts, each wrapped with love and excitement and Ayato can't help but gaze lovingly at them and back at you. Your features are wonderful and the way you dressed up clearly shows that you gave so much effort into it.

As you were about to grab the last gift from inside your bag, he takes your wrist gently. 'What?' You ask to yourself in surprise. He then places your hand slowly, carefully, and softly like a feather on the table, leaving you extremely confused.

"I believe you've noticed?" He asks with a gentle smile, his blue eyes staring at you with that of defeat, like the look when you give in to someone because they've outsmarted you but with great acceptance and no grudge.

"No...?" You say, not having a single idea what the meaning of his question is.

"That I am in love with you." He responds.

The world stops. Everything stops. The fireworks at the distance, the sound of nature, all gone. Everything is inaudible as the loud beating of your heart occupied your hearing. You look at his calm smile and your mouth gets flooded with words. "Y-You are...? But I-I'm not good enough... I'm just normal, hehe—"

"I wouldn't want somebody too extra or too little. I want someone like you. Normal. I love someone like you, ordinary. That's enough. That's lovely to me."

The moment you hear his words, you feel your cheeks burn with color. You hide your face with your hands and you want to scream at the world.

"I love you!" You suddenly shout to him, maybe a little too loud because even the guards craned their necks to face your direction. It made your lover chuckle softly. At that moment, as you feel your confidence stutter, the warm soft lips of his were on you. From across the small table, you feel him drawing you closer and closer to him, his two fingers lightly holding your chin.

And you give in.

Venti *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Sorrow, love, happiness,...

and tacenda.

He's an Archon disguised as a bard but well-known as a drunkard, at least for Master Diluc but despite the many swigs of wine he takes, his sight never blurs when it comes to you. The tavern becomes a swirl of colors, random shapes and wobbly jelly-like people around but you stand out and it seems you've piqued his interest since day one. It seems the archon has fallen in love with such a fragile and free-spirited mortal. "Oh my..." He exclaims to himself, flustered. The feeling to want to hold your hand, ride the winds through time with you, have children, live freely, and—

He can go on, if it weren't for the scene before him as he sat on top of a rooftop, that made his heart flutter even more. Just on the waters at a distance, where the lake was halved by moonglade, were two people canoeing. They seemed to be in good spirits, chatting, laughing, and... loving.

"Is this what love feels like? Will the person I love have any redamancy for me?" Venti couldn't help asking the winds. He whispered it breathless for only once, but his mind let it echo, let it reach his anxiously beating heart.

It's just as if the stars watching him saw his pitiful position—stuck amidst wanting to love and be loved but too scared to do so, afraid what the heavenly divines could possibly do to you and suddenly, a cold wind blew past his worried eyes and he felt the presence of someone joining his moment. He turned around, quick, only to see the beautiful figure of you smiling at him. The ends of your hair dancing with the wind, your eyes, your soft lips, your lovely eyelashes, your simple clothes, the way your presence feels like apricity in this cold, close to winter month... He noticed it all and loved it.

"Hey! A favor to join me tonight please?" Venti welcomes you warmly as he meets your gaze, a hand extended to pull you up the rooftop as you climbed. "Yes. I was just planning to do so. I made Barbatos Ratatouille!" You tell him cheerfully and he gladly takes it from you when you give it to him.

"So... You got any business to busy yourself yet?" Venti asks mockingly as he swings his spoon left and right like a conductor at an instrumental opera after taking a taste of your great food. Eyes closed, and face showing satisfaction, it seems the bard has fallen for your cooking.

"Stop. Just you wait. I'll beat Good Hunter's soon." You spat, tossing your hair to the side with your head angled high to avoid his gaze followed by a 'Hmph.' from you.

"You know, I really love your cooking. It would be better if I—"

"Eat it every single morning, afternoon, and night? Was I that good in cooking?" You ask excitedly, cutting him off and he produces a loud child-like laugh.

"Yes! Hehe~ Also... I made you a poem..." It was quite unexpected yet impossible to say no to and also usual of him to do. Everything this bard friend of yours tells with his words is a materpiece. Words beautifully woven into forms that live, breathe, and invite. He forms a world before you with just a story, a breathing tale, and he is a living book of wonders. Who wouldn't settle for such an inviting bard?

"Hm.... I'll hear it then. Go on, bard friend." You tell him, chin supported by your hand resting on the roof.

"Ahem ahem," he readies himself.

"Every morning drifts the sun to afternoon. Wherever thy bard wanders, thou follows around.

Whether thou be the endless blue of sky, or the lonely dandelion, thy bard simply sees thou's eyes.

Thou can be the last ray of light in the dusk, or the rising warmth of dawn, thou comforts the lonely spirit that prays to the stars of fates."

He then takes a deep breath, and continues again.

"Every afternoon drifts the sun to disappear, to fish the moon out from its weary slumber. Thy bard shall now go home once more, for thou wants to hear his voice and tales.

Before thy bard enters their beloved's home, thy bard picks a dandelion. Thy bard blows and blows, promises kept and tacendas free on the air.

Thy bard experienced great vorfreude, for the future held his wishes. Thy bard wants his listener to notice, thy bard has fallen deeply in love with you."

As he finishes his poem with your gazes meeting, you feel yourself struck with speechlessness. It's just so... beautiful and random. The glint in his eyes were saying the truth. This poem is for you. You had never anticipated him to have feelings for you but you're glad to know that he's... feeling the same that you feel for him.

"I... do love you too." You say sheepishly, looking away and tucking a few strands of hair behind your ear after several seconds of silence. "Uhm... are you... a human?" You finally ask. It's always been that one question that keeps you awake at night. He doesn't act... human, honestly.

It took Venti a few moments to respond but he was able to do what he always wanted to. He tells you the truth since you've noticed anyway.

"You're an archon!" You gasp, your cheeks burning red and your hair throwing fits everywhere. 'How? What? An archon? You are in love with an archon for years? And he loves you back?!' The words in your head are a jumble, a mess, and a hilarious compilation of nervously made phrases. You don't even know where to start.

"I didn't tell you I am an archon because I am afraid to have you love me only for it." He tells you softly as he began floating closer to you, the winds carrying him caressing your cheeks like hands stroking your fine skin. "I just hope you don't mind if you become my first kiss."

It took him two seconds to get his hands to touch you softly, one on your chin, the other on your waist. He then holds you closer and after looking through his emerald eyes, he shuts them and tenderly kisses you. Warm, light, and cool. The kiss was delicate. Your lips feel light, pillowy, and easy against his and his feel like soft feathers. The kiss was smooth like silk, long, and passionate. You paced up with him, trying to get used to each other's rhythm and you can tell by the way he kisses you that his trying different strokes. It feels so perfect. Your ears could no longer even hear the swooshing of the chilly winds due to your loud heartbeat and your hands kept placing themselves on him, trying to capture some of his warmth. Finally, Venti slowly broke out from the kiss, his eyes opening to land on your lips.

"Venti..." You broke out panting but it was spectacular. It just felt surreal to suddenly realize you're kissing an archon and you half wanted to not believe this because it sounds like an absolute joke.

"Still doubting Barbatos, aren't you?" He asks, cocking an eyebrow followed by a smirk. He looks like he still wants another kiss.

Childe ❁●❁●❁

The 11th Fatui Harbinger, Tartaglia.

A name that bathes in both brutallity and blood but who knew that beneath that deathly aura of his hides a soft sweet spot of goodness?

It all started during one usual snowy night in Snezhnaya, when Childe decides to invite you to a dinner with his family. Knowing that you two have been in a relationship for a month now, you agreed to it and dressed under many thick layers of cloth before setting out to the winter nation. As you arrived upon the silent yet deadly blizzarding snow of the cryo archon, you find his warm smile greeting you for only a few distances away, something so unbelievable after many days of long distance relationship. You hurry towards him to give him one tight bear hug.

"I missed you Childe!" You breathe through his neck, excited. His lovely fragrance clung to your nose as you burried your face deep onto his shoulder and it made your heart flutter. Childe laughs. "I missed you too." He whispers softly to your ear, puffs of cold white smoke tickling your neck as he holds your head to stay on his shoulder. "How have you been doing? Great?"

"Mhm." You hum at him with a nod.

His siblings couldn't wait, and Childe couldn't stop them from flocking over you either. Like penguins huddling through the snow, all of you carefully hurried towards your lover's home where a distinctive fragrance swam through the air, from the dining table close to the kitchen up to your noses. Everyone then made their way towards the dinner table where many of the famishing dishes lie. They all look tasty.

Dinner was quite the delectable feast. The Snehznayan cuisines were delicious and quite fancy-looking. Most of them include bowls of lurking octopuses under tasty eggy soup and sliced giant fishes that made you drool. Everything was beautifully prepared and the siblings of your lover even proudly admitted that it was because their brother Childe helped them cook. This thought cheered you up even more and Childe couldn't help but smile goofily at your cute joy.

As midnight edged deeper and closer, one by one the siblings went off to sleep leaving you and Childe to spend the rest of the night alone together. The snow that was once rough and restless, now calmly falls down. Everything is at peace and the sky looks cloudless.

If only you could freeze this time forever in your heart...

"My love?" Childe suddenly asks. Distracted by the glimmering soft snow and the beautiful dots of stars above, you didn't hear him the first time but when he suddenly asks you,

"May I kiss you?"

You immediately turn your head towards him, quick as light. Your face flushed as you repeated the question in your head ten times to make sure of it and you stare at him with nothing but a surprised face. Childe can't help but laugh at the look of you.

"Calm down! It's just our first kiss. Come on... Or are you nervous because you don't know how to? Hm~" Childe hums teasingly and you chuckle to hide the butterflies forming in your stomach. "It's not that! I'm just... shy. But you don't have to ask... You can just do it. I don't mind, you know." You tell him as you twirled a few strands of your hair, gazing away to hide your flushed cheeks.

"You know very well I always ask for my lover's consent." He then says, eyelids heavy with a playful smirk on his face. His getting all excited now.

"Mhm... I love you Childe." You tell him softly.

"I love you too." He tells you back.

And before you even know it, he pulls you into a very deep kiss, warm and comforting with his hands on your shoulders to keep you closer. His lips parted to let your tongue slip in and you willingly give in to his passionate strokes as your eyelids closed like his. Your soft lush lips were smooth against his own, and his hot breath tickled your nose as he bit your upper lip lightly. You only break out from the kiss for a bit to breathe and back to kissing him again until your bodies heated with each passionate motion, the midnight moon shining down to reveal the color of your eyes as you open them to see Childe gazing lovingly at you too, foreheads nearly touching each other.

Just when Childe sensed you had enough, you stopped kissing and the feeling of the kiss clung to each of your lips. The rush, the adrenaline, the feeling of sudden fuzziness, the comfort, the warmth, and the desperation to just hold each other forever in time... It feels great.

"Want to go for another one?" Childe asks as he looks at you, searching for answers. You blush at the question and admit it.

"Sure."

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ilyelan · 2 years

Text

duplicity

based on the song “why” by derivacat (yes, i know it was based on dsmp, but i still do not support them whatsoever, the song just fit with what i’m writing.)

@tiredsleep said they have nothing left to lose so i had to write some kaeya angst and prove them wrong <333

warnings: blood, stabbing, fire, mentions of beheading and putting heads on spikes

Look at what you've done, is this what you call glory? Do you still believe you're the hero of your story?

You couldn’t believe what you were looking at. The city you’ve always loved, cherished, and put your life on the line to defend, destroyed within a day by the very person who claimed to love you. You felt disgusted, at both yourself, for failing to realize the threat you were laying next to at night, and him, for committing such a despicable act towards the city you both had lived in for decades.

I longed for peace, but you couldn't leave it be. Now you've played your part in this forever unfinished symphony

You looked around at the ruins of the city that had withstood centuries of attacks, and finally your eyes landed on the person that stood in the middle of all the pain and chaos, and caught eyes with him.

Was he seriously laughing at this?

He moved towards your bloody and bruised frame, and you reached for your broken blade.

Oh, it hurts, and it hurts, and it's getting worse. A promise you made, cut down by your blade.

You thought back on all the now broken promises, all the bouquets of flowers that eventually wilted, all the one sided hugs that you had brushed off, all the happiness that he had stamped out like it was nothing more than a worthless bug beneath his heel. And you finally felt the stream of tears that were falling from your eyes.

He reached out to your frame, and you hated yourself for instinctively leaning in to his touch.

Can't stand the rain, can't stand the pain. How it breaks my heart when you tear it apart.

He smiled while wiping away your tears, and finally spoke.

“You know, I did actually admire your spirit. It’s a shame Mondstadt fell so quickly, I would’ve loved to actually fight you.”

You gritted your teeth at that. “Mondstadt only fell so quickly because it was betrayed from within! If you hadn’t chosen the path of a coward and fought us head on, you never would’ve even made it inside the gates!”

So why? Why did you lie? Why did your words amount to nothing?

His smile disappeared at your words, and he moved his hand from lovingly cupping your cheek to gripping your chin and making you look him in the eye.

“If I were you, I’d stop making stupid excuses and start proving that I’m useful, or else I’d have to be disposed of, and no one wants that.”

The tears started falling heavier then.

“…….Was it all really just a lie? Did you really feel nothing for me?”

And why? Why did it fall? Why did you leave me here with nothing?

He laughed.

He actually laughed.

“Of course it was all a lie! Did you seriously think I was in love with you? I just needed someone to make the illusion seem real, and you fit the bill perfectly.”

You were sobbing at this point.

“So, what’s it gonna be? Are you going to prove your usefulness to me, or am I going to have to dispose of you?”

Look at what you've done, is this your happy ending? Look around and see, this is history repeating.

Your shoulders shook with sobs that refused to leave your chest.

“Why are you doing this? What did we do to deserve this?”

He scoffed.

“It’s nothing less than what happened to my home 500 years ago. Do you think we did something to deserve this then?”

Do you even care that you've left things beyond repair? It was by your hand, you've turned a masterpiece into a nightmare.

“If this is how you take revenge, maybe you did deserve it.”

You didn’t know your voice could sound so cold.

He narrowed his eyes and

He hit you.

He seriously hit you.

You could feel the hand shaped sting on your cheek getting worse by the second as he started talking again.

“You’re lucky I don’t chop off your head and put it up on a spike as a warning. I will tell you this one more time and one more time only. Watch. Your. Tongue.”

Oh, it hurts, and it hurts, and it's getting worse. You act like a judge, enforcing your personal grudge.

His eyes none of the love you were used to, only cold, painful hatred was left.

You met his eyes with a glare of your own, slightly less intimidating due to the caked on blood, dirt, and tears covering your face.

You couldn’t help but compare the Kaeya in front of you to the Kaeya that you loved.

The one you loved used to go on walks with you and discuss your future together.

The one you loved used to make breakfast and give it to you with a kiss on the forehead.

The one you loved used to take you on dates every night and promise he’d never leave.

And this one couldn’t hate you more.

Am I to pay for this war you've raised? Yes, it breaks my heart when you tear it apart.

He seemed to know what you were thinking about, since he made you face him again.

“It’d do you good to stop reminiscing on a past that wasn’t real before you end up dead.”

His words came out lacking their usual honey coating, this time dripping with venom.

So why? Why did you lie? Why did your words amount to nothing?

You tightened your grip on the hilt of your sword, and, for a single moment, all the emotions swarming around your chest parted and left only one.

Desire.

Desire for revenge, desire for a home that wasn’t doused in flames, desire for a lover that actually enjoyed your presence.

Desire for a future without Kaeya.

And why? Why did it fall? Why did you leave me here with nothing?

With a newfound determination, you quickly moved your blade into position over his heart.

And, with only a single ounce of hesitation, you delivered what you were sure would be the final blow.

His eyes shot open.

And he let out a hoarse gasp of air.

And he looked at you.

Look at what you've done, you've brought upon disaster

And, as the world around you erupted into flames and disaster, it felt it was just you two again.

He said a single sentence before his eyes closed for the very last time.

“You haven’t saved anything.”

A sense of dread filled you while you sat there, covered in a gross mixture of both of your’s blood, and you felt the weight of your actions come crashing down around you.

What had you just done?

Do you still believe this is the justice you sought after?

tags: @karmawonders, @daeruh

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #genshin impact kaeya #genshin #genshin impact #genshin kaeya #kaeya angst #genshin impact angst #genshin x reader angst #genshin impact x reader angst #genshin angst #kaeya x reader angst #x reader #x reader angst #angst

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frogtanii · 4 years

Text

but... why?

akaashi sighed as he put down his phone, his eyes trailing over the numerous bags and suitcases meiko had brought on the trip.

it wasn’t like he didn’t want to hear bokuto’s answer but... he knew it would be something so sweet and wholesome that another wave of intense guilt would overtake him.

keiji, despite what he seemed to portray, wasn’t an idiot. he knew he was neglecting his closest and oldest friend and he knew it was affecting the both of them. he couldn’t remember the last late night mcdonald’s cheat meal he’d gone on with bokuto or the last time bokuto had pestered him about the book he was currently immersed in.

instead, his days were primarily occupied with meiko and attempting to read books that he was meant to do reviews on for his channel. as of late, it was much more of the former, his lover (??) basically forcing him to spend time with her.

ok, so she wasn’t exactly forcing him but there were times where he wished meiko cared enough to accept that he didn’t always want to watch the bachelor (the lowest form of entertainment in his opinion) and talk shit about certain people in the house. sometimes, he just wanted to lie down in bed with a large mug of hot chocolate, a good poetry book and maybe, just maybe, the woman he loved pressed against his side allowing him to read to her.

once, akaashi had brought up his desires to meiko. she’d laughed (physically laughed!!!) in his face and told him that “if she wanted to listen to a boring man read a boring book, she’d just buy an audiobook of the bible.”

not once did he express his feelings to her again.

he realized the relationship he had with meiko wasn’t the healthiest, especially since he had the room next to iwaizumi’s and heard every single noise she made when he was with him.

keiji’s therapist (a dr kanemoto — he’d been seeing him since he was 11 for his test anxiety ((his parents had always been overly prepared))) had advised against entering this content house in the first place.

apparently, with his introverted tendencies and the resurgence of his anxiety, it wasn’t the smartest of decisions to move into a home with so many high energy, semi-problematic, super famous creators.

but by the time he figured that out, he’d already signed the contract and promised bokuto that he would follow through. it didn’t help that meiko was in his other ear, practically begging him to come.

so akaashi did.

and now here he was; sitting in his girlfriend(?)’s room, surrounded by her things while dreading a conversation with his best friend.

when did everything go so wrong?

a knock sounded at meiko’s door, making keiji jump a little at the sound. he could feel his heart begin to beat erratically, his palms starting to sweat, and his stomach tightening as he made his way to the door.

when did he get anxious at the thought of bokuto????

taking a final deep breath in, akaashi opened the door only to be met immediately with... a hug.

bokuto’s muscular arms wrapped around keiji’s shoulders, the taller man squeezing him tightly — not too tight but enough that akaashi could feel himself melt into his friend’s hold.

keiji hesitantly lifted his arms to reciprocate the hug, a large sigh leaving kotarou’s body.

“missed you,” bokuto whispered, so quiet akaashi almost didn’t catch it. the short phrase was so full with emotion that his eyes welled up with tears, his vision behind his glasses becoming blurry.

“i... i missed you too bokuto-san,” keiji finally responded, his voice thick with regret. the silver haired man didn’t respond, instead choosing to hold him tighter.

they stood there for what felt like hours but in actuality was actually closer to 2 minutes, just basking in one another’s presence for the first time in months.

they probably would’ve stayed that way too if it weren’t for kuroo awkwardly clearing his throat at the door. akaashi quickly removed himself from bokuto, missing the hurt look on his friend’s face entirely as he awkwardly waved hello to the small calvary standing outside meiko’s room.

“sorry to interrupt,” sakusa began, shifting uncomfortably at the entrance. “but we are here to help.” the rest of the group nodded in agreement and with keiji’s subtle nod of approval, they all dispersed into the room, collecting meiko’s stuff and throwing them (quite literally, in kenma’s case) into her bags.

bokuto shot akaashi a small smile before joining atsumu on the far end of the room, who was working on meiko’s hair products. it was nice to see him getting along with others and making friends but it was... bittersweet.

somehow, keiji felt like... he wasn’t a part of bokuto’s life anymore — like he was an outsider just looking in.

“he’s changed, hasn’t he?” a soft voice came from beside him, temporarily startling him until he saw who was speaking to him — you.

you weren’t looking at akaashi, your eyes entirely focused on bokuto who was now enthusiastically conversing with sakusa about various skin care products, waving about meiko’s as an example.

“bokuto is kind and he’s funny and he cares... he cares so much,” you continued, in the same soft, kind voice. “he cares about you—” keiji’s breath hitched in his throat, “and while at the moment i can’t understand why, i trust him.”

finally, you looked up at him, your gaze taking him completely off guard. “don’t hurt him, okay?” and with that, you walked off, moving to join kenma and kuroo, playfully ruffling kenma’s hair as a greeting while gently hip bumping kuroo.

akaashi couldn’t stop the tears from welling up in his eyes again but this time because of pride — pride that his best friend had a people who saw him for who he was and not just some empty headed himbo. instead they, no you, saw bokuto as intelligent, observant and oh so sympathetic.

he watched as bokuto approached you, wrapping his massive arms around your waist and pressing his nose into your hair, laughing softly at your giggles.

if you saw something in kotarou that no one else did, if you treated him with the respect and kindness that he so deserved, then maybe, just maybe, you deserved that kindness too.

and if keiji could try for anyone, he could do it for bokuto.

℗ poker face

try, for him

series masterlist

(●’◡’●)ﾉ

an - THIS CH MADE ME SO SOFT N a lil sad :( but WOOHOO akaashi’s arc!!!!! i rlly wanna know what y’all think abt this one por favor hehe <3

taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you

@boosyboo9206 • @geektastic84 • @elianetsantana • @trashy-simp • @infinitebells • @6mattsun9 • @suhkusa • @sazunari • @kotarosbabygirl • @fucktheworlddude • @insomniacwreck • @calumsfringe • @saltylettuce • @chai-blu • @al3x1ss • @hawksyoongi • @syndellwins • @jooleuuh • @amberalisa • @kissungjae • @liberhoe • @tetsurocore • @animeoverdosee • @duhsies • @saikishairclip • @afire24 • @premiyagi • @kit-kat428 • @doctorspencereid • @daphnxy • @kyomihann • @maer-333 • @sinoflust19 • @peteunderoos • @peachiikichu • @iidanotlida • @yongboxerrr • @kac-chowsballs • @tanakaslastbraincell • @memorableminds • @risjime • @starry-magicshop • @sugavwara • @smuttyanimeslut • @kiwibirbs-library • @haijkk • @airybnb • @babierin • @iwaisa • @decaffinatedtealover • @notameera • @kawaii-angelanne • @rintarovibes • @urlocalsimp

the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!

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harryssweatcreaturee · 3 years

Text

She’s the brightest star.

a/n: another part of painter harry <33333 writing this warmed my heart and i hope it does the same for you guys!

please reblog if you enjoy this! it means A TON to us writers <333 muah, love you all!

masterlist

word count: 1.2k

warnings: none

“And here. Here we are. Il museo di Vincent Van Gogh.” Professor Vitale sports a wide smile on her face. Harry couldn’t recall ever seeing her so happy. She was probably one of those professors you believe is grumpy and alone, living with animals because they couldn’t care less to give a person a chance.

Harry looked around, his hands shoved in his pockets as his eyes wander the beautiful scenery before him – and no, not the museum.

Since they arrived at the parking lot of the school, Harry couldn’t keep his eyes off (Y/N). She looked stunning, wearing a beautiful mini floral baby doll dress and her hair falling down her shoulders in waves. Harry was intoxicated by her beauty. Worst of all, she would give him a small smile if she caught him looking. All it did was make Harry’s heart race and his cheeks heat up as he looked away.

Harry avoided her on the bus. He sat somewhere in the middle rows, alone and finding importance on a loose thread of his jeans so no one would talk to him.

Soon they arrived at the museum, and they kept walking in a tight group until they reached the inside and God, it was a relief. Harry could finally breathe. Being so close to her made him incredibly nervous, even if (Y/N) wasn’t looking his way or paying him any mind.

Nonetheless, Harry’s eyes were magnets to the radiating wavelengths of beauty that the woman had no idea could make anyone falter, enamor, and absolutely melt. So, he kept his distance, walking around the huge multisensory room that had its light’s out except the illuminating walls and ceiling show casing Van Gogh’s masterpiece, The Starry Night.

For a moment, Harry was distracted from (Y/N) consuming his thoughts. The room was beautiful. Seeing The Starry Night so up close and personal made Harry feel like he was in the painting. Like he could touch the stars, reach for that moon that stared at him with suggestive eyes to lay down and enjoy the view.

“Very beautiful, huh? Feels like I’m really in there.”

Harry gasped softly, looking to the side to see none other than (Y/N) standing beside him with a small smile on her face, head titled up as she looked at the stars.

“I’m.. uh… sorry, you startled me.” But that was exactly what I thought…

(Y/N) giggled and Harry felt his heart melt down to his toes just like when she heard her say his name and all he wanted was to hear it another thousand times in her melodical voice.

“I’m sorry to have scared you. Should’ve made my presence known…”

Harry took in a deep breath, praying and hoping she wouldn’t hear the loud and fast thumping of his heart. God, he felt stupid. Like a little boy back in grade school crushing for the pretty girl of the class. Is this how crushes are supposed to feel?

“It’s okay… Was just lost in my thoughts looking at this beauty. Those stars… they just look amazing. Don’t know why they call out to me the most from everything in the painting.” It’s easy for Harry to talk about art without letting his nerves get in the way. It’s his passion and nothing ever made that falter from its importance in Harry’s life. Though (Y/N) right next to him and talking to him nonetheless certainly made him feel his spine tingle and his cheeks burn.

(Y/N) stepped forward, the projection of the painting illuminating her some. The stars and part of the moon were reflected on her hair, part of her back and Harry smiled. (Y/N) blended into the painting – in Harry’s eyes. Like if she was the star Van Gogh knew could not miss in his work of art, being important factor that lights a night as if its purpose is to bring warmth and assurance that peace and tranquility is coming, that you can rest without a worry because this is the time for that when the starry night arrives and makes its promise.

Harry couldn’t bring himself to avert his gaze from (Y/N) when she turned around and looked at Harry this time, the smile on her face still prominent and sweet. “So smiley, aren’t you?” Harry chuckled nervously at her words, shrugging, and shifting his weight to his other foot with his hands once again in his pockets.

“Mm… La luna e le stelle invidiano la tua belleza. Verrebbero poter brillare la metà de ti, mia stella.” *The moon and the stars envy your beauty. For they wish they could shine half as bright as you do, my star.*

It was now (Y/N)’s turn to feel like she was in a trance of honey gold dipped words and something that felt like warm promises. She had no idea what Harry said but it made her knees weak and her stomach flip.

She laughed softly, biting her lip with a soft shake of her head. “Maybe last week mislead you but, uh, my Italian is very limited and while I’m sure you’ve said nothing bad – I hope – I’ve got no clue of what you just said.”

Harry chewed the inside of his cheek timidly, trying to find something else to look at but who was he kidding? She deserved all of his undivided attention. “Oh, it was nothing. Just, making a comment about the stars and their beauty.”

“I’ll trust your words, Harry.” (Y/N) giggled again, softly bumping her shoulder into Harry’s, earning herself a chuckle from him.

(Y/N) thought his nervousness was so cute. It made her heart skip a beat to think that she was a possibility to this feeling, though maybe he could be a nervous person in general, but the former argument was the idea she was going to stick with.

Harry finally brought his hand out of his pocket, though it was only to look at the time from the watch on his wrist. They still had about ten minutes in the multisensory room. Harry was racking his brain, trying to find something to say to fill the silence between them because it was choking him. (Y/N) beat him to it.

“Do you think that, maybe I could have your number? Y’know, in case we ever do partnered work or you just, need someone to talk to. Whatever is it.” (Y/N) bit her bottom lip nervously, quickly digging into her purse to find a pen and a small piece of paper to write on. She would have given him her phone as that would be ten times easier, but her forgetfulness last night took the better of her brain function and she forgot to charge her phone. She couldn’t find any useless paper, so she grabbed the museum ticket and sighed softly, looking back at Harry as she put her hand out with the ticket and a pen.

Harry looked at her dumbfounded. How could she want his number? He’s terrible nervous, barely speaks and man, if only he would’ve had the courage to ask her first. “Uh, yeah. Well – I don’t see why not. Here…” Harry reached out for the ticket using his left palm for a surface and right pen in hand.

(Y/N) grinned, taking the ticket back and quickly looking over it. He had slightly messy handwriting, a small ‘H’ right beside the digits. “See you next week… H.”

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tendouluvr · 3 years

Text

not telling them you’re pregnant [2] - f!reader

- little angst, hurt/comfort??, fluff

- characters: iwaizumi, atsumu, kageyama

- warnings: pregnancy, cravings, morning sickness aka throwing up, some cursing, mentions of sex, “mad” iwa makes out with your neck, atsumu pretends to faint and reader jokes about him dying :0

- wc: 1.4k, 1.3k, 1.7k (jfc thats a lot)

a/n: thank u guys for all the love on the first part <333 ily all and ty to the nonnie that requested tsumu and kags

f!reader cuz pregnancy but no specific prns/gendered terms used

[1. suna, sakusa, semi]

IWAIZUMI

#! you were planning on telling iwaizumi the big news that night

#! you missed your cycle this month, thinking it was probably just late so you didn’t care and waited for one more week to pass before worrying

#! it was almost two weeks now, your period tracker repeatedly sending you notifications to remind you to log your monthly cycle

#! but you had no cycle to log

#! thinking that you should go buy some tests, you did just that and came home to see them all turn positive

#! you were in the kitchen cooking a quick dinner when iwaizumi came home

#! he entered your home mumbling under his breath about some kid while putting up his jacket and shoes

#! “welcome home, haji!” you greeted him from the kitchen

#! “hey.” he briefly said back making you turn around to look at him

#! “you alright? what happened?” you tried starting a conversation in hopes of getting his mind off of whatever it is that seems to be bothering him

#! “some fucking kids came into the gym today, acting all obnoxious, trying to taunt me and the team because they wanted to impress some girls who probably didn’t even know them. would’ve knocked them out if it wasn’t against the fucking law.” he harshly explained his day while looking through the fridge for his protein drink

#! you tried not to laugh, turning around so he couldn’t see your face and tightening your lips together to contain yourself, but it was so funny you couldn’t help but imagine it

#! iwaizumi heard the giggles coming from you causing him to roll his eyes, “what’s funny?”

#! “nothing, should’ve just knocked them out, babe.”

#! “yea? sounds like you want to start visiting me in jail,” he makes his way over to back hug you while you continued cooking at the stove, “well then, i’ll keep that in mind next time some dinky teenager get in my face, baby.” he mumbles against your neck before giving you a quick kiss there

#! “hajjj, i’m cooking. go be horny elsewhere!” your upper half shuddered when he continued making out with your neck

#! “whatever you say, your highness.” deep chuckles come from him while he lets go of you to walk to the bedroom

#! “don’t call me that!” his laugh getting louder at your exclamation

#! later that night, you both laid in bed on your sides staring out of the window in front of you

#! “hey haj,” your voice a gentle whisper as to not wake him up if he had already fell asleep

#! “hmm?” he hums from behind you, rough, warm hands under your shirt rubbing itself on your bare stomach

#! “do you ever want kids?”

#! he was silent as he thought about what to say to you

#! “i don’t if they’re just gonna turn out like those dicks from today.” his answer wasn’t meant to be taken too seriously, he just hoped you didn’t interpret that as him saying he doesn’t want kids at all

#! “so if they don’t?”

#! “.......sure.”

#! you noticed his hesitation before he gave you an answer, trying to ignore it so your brain didn’t start analyzing too much

#! “hm, ok. goodnight, haji.”

#! “goodnight, i love you.”

#! “love you too.”

#! you told yourself that you were gonna reveal the news to him that night, but seeing that he was worked up over those kids and his slight hesitation when he answered you made you change your mind at the last minute

#! you laid awake thinking about what to do while iwaizumi peacefully slept not knowing his hand was caressing his future child

#! a few days have passed and you were still thinking about when to tell him

#! should you just say it? how would you say it? “hey, i’m pregnant.” no, that’s too blunt. “what if i told you i’m pregnant?” eh. “i’m preggo!” maybe.

#! you both never brought up the topic about having kids again ever since that night

#! but what you didn’t know was how occupied iwaizumi’s mind has been ever since you popped that question

#! he’s been imagining what it would be like to have a little him running around the house, maybe he’s a crybaby and dramatic like his uncle oikawa — who definitely would like to be the godfather, and he promises daily facetime calls everyday despite iwaizumi’s obvious displeasure — or perhaps he also finds entertainment in the godzilla franchise like his father

#! iwa thinks it would be neat to sometimes watch godzilla with someone else besides you, preferably his own kid

#! the night you asked him that question, it took him a while to answer because he couldn’t believe what he just heard. getting lost in his thoughts, he didn’t realize he forgot to answer you, giving you a quick, “sure.” once he came back to reality

#! you didn’t know this so you took his moment of silence as a sign of hesitation

#! the minor miscommunication causing you both to go into your own heads

#! you were currently looking in the full body mirror, observing the way your stomach looked and how much it’ll be changing soon to accommodate a living being inside you. your hands were moving around, curving itself against your stomach naturally when iwaizumi walked in on you

#! “babe, have you seen my hoodie? the black one, i think you were wearing it-,” his sentence cut off when he looked up from his phone

#! “what are you doing?” he asked seeing you pull your shirt back down

#! “looking at my stomach.”

#! “why? are you okay?” his voice softened at the second question wondering if you were feeling bad about yourself

#! “uh no, wait- yes, yea i’m okay. um, can i tell you something?”

#! before he could answer, you continued, “well, by tell i mean show. i have something to show you.”

#! “uh, yes? why are you so nervous?”

#! “ok, wait here.”

#! “babe-,” and you ran off leaving iwaizumi and the rest of his sentence in the room. a few seconds later, you came back holding something in your hand

#! “here.” grabbing his thick fingers to open his palm before stuffing the item into it. his eyebrows furrowed and he slowly unravels the piece of paper. you analyzed his face for any signs of anger or discontent while his eyes scanned the pictures from one corner to another

#! “w-what is..... you’re pregnant?” he whispered out, mind and body in shock as he stares at you wide-eyed

#! you nodded knowing that if you opened your mouth to talk you were probably going to cry. he falls onto the bed, sitting at the edge, then buries his head into his hands

#! “haji?” your voice lower than a whisper

#! he didn’t answer

#! but you saw it

#! you saw his shoulders starting to shake

#! “haj?” you tried again, this time lightly walking towards him

#! his cries became audible when he felt your smaller hands wrapping around his shoulders

#! “hey.. why are you crying?” you tried comforting him because it didn’t seem like his tears were going to stop any time soon

#! “shit, yn, fuck me.” he said through his cries

#! “oh?”

#! he rolled his eyes at your implying tone before grabbing you by the waist to lay his head on your chest. his breath staggered from crying, he was still crying just not as hard

#! one of your hand gently going through his hair while the other one rubs his back. the action soothing him enough to calm him down and eventually his tears stopped. “why didn’t you tell me?” his voice pouty and his sentence breaking between every other word

#! “i thought you didn’t want kids. i was scared.”

#! he raises his head so his chin is now resting on your chest, “why’d you think that?”

#! “you.. hesitated... when i asked you, remember?”

#! his eyes drifting to the side as he tries to think back on the last few days. you knew he remembered when his eyes slightly widened and his lips formed a small o, “i’m sorry, the question made me imagine things and i got lost in my train of thoughts that i forgot to answer you right away.”

#! “oh.”

#! “yea..”

#! “then, i’m sorry for assuming things and not telling you.”

#! “no, it’s not your fault.”

#! “it’s not yours either.”

#! “so.. truce?”

#! “idiot! why are we making a truce?!”

#! he giggles as he stuffs his face back into your chest but not before he bent down to give your stomach a loving kiss

ATSUMU

#! atsumu was huffing with his arms crossed across his chest, lip in a pout and eyes squinted as he focuses on the television in front of him

#! “stupid ‘samu and his stupid food. i don’t need it. if he doesn’t want to give me any, then i don’t need it. i can make my own food. stupid. stupid, stupid, stupid.” he childishly mumbled under his breath as his eyes squinted even more, shooting his glare directly at the television

#! “‘tsumu, can you come help me with this?” a voice called from the bedroom. your voice. his beautiful, lovely, awesome sweetheart

#! “c’ming.” he mumbles, slowly sliding off of the couch to trudge over to you

#! “hmm?” he hummed when he got to the entryway of your shared bedroom

#! “can you hold this up a bit, i need to get something in here.” you were in the walk-in closet organizing some things

#! he was happy to help, but you could tell from the way he was pouting and his eyebrows still furrowed that something was bothering him

#! you sighed, “what’s wrong?”

#! “nothin’.”

#! “‘tsumu....,” you gave him a knowing look

#! he was gonna have to tell you at some point, “‘samu, that food hogging pig!”

#! “oh, hey! don’t call him that! it’s mean.”

#! “dun care, his fault for not sharing. our mom taught us better than that.”

#! “you don’t share, get off his back.”

#! “i do!! why are ya siding with him?! i’m yer boyfriend! yer sweet, loving, ethereal boyfriend!”

#! you raised an eyebrow at the way he described himself, “y’sure ‘bout that?”

#! his mouth opens as if he was going to gasp but no sound came out, he just pretended to faint

#! “oh no, did you die?”

#! no answer

#! “about time, thought i was gonna have to endure it for a few more years.”

#! “hey!!” he bounced back up when he heard you say that ridiculously offensive comment

#! “fine, i’ll leave then. don’t come running back to me when ya miss yer oh so handsome future husband.”

#! you snorted before going back to organizing the closet, “hold this for me, please.”

#! he groaned from the back of his throat but went over to help you anyway

#! recently, the twins’ mom gave you guys some boxes of clothes she had put away for some time. not wanting to throw them away, she gave it to you guys and osamu to take whatever you could

#! while looking through the boxes, you dug up some baby clothes that belonged to atsumu

#! “oh my god.”

#! he swings his head over to look at you, “what? hey! that’s mine!”

#! “it’s so ugly.”

#! “i’m telling my mom you said that. she’s gonna hate you sooooo much.”

#! “‘tsum, she set you up.”

#! he faked a wail and then turned back around to ignore you

#! “y’think we can keep some?”

#! “what for?”

#! “i don’t know..what if we have kids later?”

#! “that sounds nice...but we might have twins. i don’t want that.”

#! “huh? you can’t control who and how many we get, ‘tsumu.”

#! “then, let’s not risk it!”

#! “so, you don’t want kids?”

#! “precisely, yah.”

#! you stared incredulously at him while he continued sorting through stuff like he didn’t just tell you he made up his mind on not wanting kids

#! you found out two days ago that you’re pregnant, not yet telling atsumu because you just couldn’t find the right time to sit him down and talk

#! you didn’t expect to find out now that he for sure didn’t want kids. you guys talked about it a few times throughout the years of being together, but he never gave a definite answer

#! it was usually just him teasing you, or he was running around the answer. you never pushed him to answer, you didn’t want to pressure him or anything of that sort

#! “good to know, i’ll keep that in mind.” you mumbled, distracting yourself with folding the clothes

#! atsumu gave you a hum to acknowledge your words. no one says anything after that

#! a few days passed and the topic wasn’t brought up again. you secretly stashed some of the baby clothes while cleaning, the baby was gonna come at some point whether atsumu wanted it or not

#! but what you didn’t know was that he kept a stash of the baby clothes as well. he cleared out a space in his sock drawers by stuffing everything to one side, placing a stack of clothes inside because deep down he knew that there was going to be a mini him one day

#! it was currently morning, you both having the day off so you slept in. your back was curved to mold against his well defined chest while you slept. atsumu was snoring but you learned to block it out over time (he claimed you snore as well, but was never successful on proving it)

#! your eyes shot open, feeling the familiar bile crawling up your throat threatening to come out without your permission

#! quickly throwing the arm that was wrapped around you off, you ran towards the connected bathroom

#! your disappearance making atsumu’s sleepy eyes blink open, “babe? it’s still early.” his rough morning voice whispering out because it wasn’t capable of being louder than that in the morning

#! he heard the gagging noises from the restroom, eyes shooting wide awake in concern. he trips over the comforter trying to get out of bed, hurriedly running to you

#! atsumu acted fast and was holding your hair back, warm palms rubbing circles on your back. he wasn’t sure what to say, choosing to stay silent until you were finished

#! you wiped your mouth with the back of your palm, gasping for air over the toilet seat, reaching out to hold the hand that was on your back, you whispered out an, “i’m pregnant.”

#! initially he didn’t hear you, but once he heard it in his head he gasped. “how long?”

#! “not sure, almost a month?” your voice rough from throwing up

#! atsumu was confused. eyes darting everywhere, not really sure where to exactly focus on. his mind was racing, trying to think of why he didn’t know anything for so long, “ya didn’t tell me?”

#! “how could i when you said you don’t want kids?”

#! “i’m...oh..sorry, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean for it to be taken too seriously. i only said that because of the thing with ‘samu so i thought ya could tell it was a joke.”

#! “no ‘tsumu, i couldn’t. i was already pregnant at that point and hearing you say that about having kids really affected me. i didn’t know how to tell you after you specifically said to not risk anything, how was i suppose to know it was meant to be a joke?” your voice still groggy and tears were building up in your eyes.

#! he lightly sighs then brings his hand up to cup your head, rubbing it to calm you down. “i’m so sorry, angel. i do want kids, specifically with ya. what i said was a bit dicky, but i was just being immature, i promise. i won’t joke about serious things like that again, i’m sorry.”

#! you sniffed and brought his hand up to kiss him on the palm, but he quickly yanked it away making you look up at him in shock. “ya just threw up.” he pointed to the toilet.

#! you laughed at that and quickly apologized, he carried you up so you both can stand up from the bathroom floor. atsumu gently washing your hands and around your mouth, then you swishing some water in your mouth to get rid of the throw up aftertaste

#! “wanna know a secret, babe?” he blurted out while helping you walk back to the bed

#! “what?”

#! “i kept some of the baby clothes.” a shy smile on his face as he winks at you from the side

KAGEYAMA

#! you’ve been feeling a bit sluggish lately, you weren’t sure why because it came out of nowhere

#! you decided to ignore it, but as time passes, you didn’t get any better and you even started to throw up

#! thinking back to the talk your mom gave you when you were 10, you went out to buy some pregnancy tests

#! the timeline made sense, the last time you both had sex was a few weeks ago

#! kageyama’s been caught up with practice, you were stressed, so naturally you both thought it was a good idea to let it out

#! but what you didn’t expect was having to buy pregnancy tests because there was a possibility you’re pregnant

#! granted there wasn’t any protection used and you stopped taking your pills a while ago because you guys just didn’t care anymore, so nevermind, you do see how you could be pregnant

#! but damn, one time. all it took was one time

#! shaking your head, you took your phone out to text kageyama

#! you’re not telling him over text, just letting him know you have something to tell him tonight so he can know to prepare for a talk

#! you: tobiii

#! you: i have something to tell you

#! you: tonight tho

#! you: after you come home

#! him: ok love

#! while waiting for him to come home, you lazed around and scrolled through social media for a bit. checking twitter, you were reading some tweets from kageyama’s fans, finding some funny, some adorable, and some just...weird

#! but one tweet you saw was from someone who had met kageyama at one of his previous games. the person was talking about their experience getting to meet him and they even wrote out a part of the conversation they had with kageyama

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: omfg i just met kageyama fucking tobiiosdfjdf

#! it was a thread so you clicked on it to continue reading

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: he’s so sighs dreamily

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: so fucking tall. i’m 5′3 and mans all the way up there 👆

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: OH OMH wait lemme type out one part of our convo omfg i think he has a partner?????? like an actual s/o guys not me

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: ok i asked him smtg along the lines of what he thought abt having so many fans who are children ykk bc i was thinking he knew i was implying that these kids look up to him and stuff

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: but this man.....is so...UNAWARE why is he like this but he said smtg like he doesnt understand how kids can be fans of him bc how can they understand professional volleyball like that and i was like ???mf didn’t u grow up playing vball

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: so i was like oh ok :D and then asked him abt his thoughts on his future kids following in his footsteps bc i was thinking his answer would be wholesome or some shit

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: he told me,,,,, i dont have kids and i dont want any... !!!! why does mr kagman not want kids w me :(( /j

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: ok so like all of this happened v quickly i was like in and out in 10 seconds lmao but WAIT after he said he doesnt want kids i saw him scrunching his face up

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: im not mind reader nor body language reader but idk he looked .. hrm sad?? FUCK IDK DONT TAKE M E SERIOUSLY IM DELUSIONAL

#! being an adult, you knew you shouldn’t be taking twitter threads of his teenage fans too seriously but you couldn’t help but reread the part where he said he didn’t want kids

#! did he actually say that or is this person rewording what he said? you now realized how you guys never really talked about having kids

#! sure, it was brought up once or twice but it was just because you were having baby fever. kageyama himself never directly told you he wanted kids or he was fine with having kids of his own

#! you sighed to yourself as you lock your phone, closing your eyes to take a nap until kageyama comes home

#! you felt yourself being shaken awake lightly, a familiar presence hovering over you on the couch made you open an eye

#! “tobio?”

#! “who else would it be?”

#! “i don’t know, a murderer?”

#! he scoffs at the slim chance of a someone breaking in to hurt you, but quickly turned his attention back to you when he remembered you wanted to talk

#! “so what’d you wanted to tell me?”

#! “oh, can you sit down?”

#! “o..kay?” he stiffly walked to sit beside you on the couch

#! “i’m uh,” think of something, “honestly, i forgot. yea, i forgot what i was gonna tell you. sorry.”

#! he raises one eyebrow to gaze at you curiously

#! “are you sure? it sounded important when you texted me.”

#! “mhm! yup, i forgot. sorry if i worried you, heh, are you hungry? there’s leftovers we can heat up.” you quickly tried to change the subject, getting up to walk to the kitchen

#! luckily your boyfriend didn’t question it further and got up to trail right behind you

#! you figured giving yourself some time before telling him after what you read was a good idea

#! are you aware that you were overthinking some tweet by a stranger on the app that is twitter? yes, you were. but you’re also human and overthinking is in human’s nature

#! it’s been three weeks and you still haven’t told kageyama the news. a part of you was ready to tell him, just let him know and you guys talk it out, what’s the worst that could happen

#! but the other part of you was scared. scared he actually didn’t want kids. scared he was going to leave you because going through with the pregnancy would drag him down. scared he would get mad at you for not being more careful when he was equally at fault

#! you know how kageyama gets when his emotions get complicated, he can’t deal with it so his one outlet is anger

#! he has no filter and says whatever comes to mind, all logical thinking leaving his brain

#! and that part of you is the stronger one

#! obviously you were going to tell him at some point, it’s not like you can literally hide the growing baby inside you

#! just not yet, not until you’re ready

#! you’re currently a little over a month, bump not really showing, but it’s there and it’s growing

#! kageyama can be a bit dim when it comes to.. most things beside volleyball, and usually you tease him about it but for once you thank whatever god is out there that he hasn’t noticed any big changes on your body yet

#! that was until you were showering, and he made the decision to enter the shower with you without your knowledge

#! humming to yourself while scrubbing your arms, you scooted back away from the water so it wouldn’t wash off the body wash you were trying to use

#! the action causing you to lightly hit kageyama’s chest making you jump from where you were standing

#! “tobio!” you screamed, turning around to throw the foamed body wash at him

#! he chuckles at your surprised expression and didn’t mind the soap you threw onto him, which was now sticking to his defined chest

#! “why were you just standing there, creep?”

#! he was still giggling when he answered you, “did i scare you this time?”

#! “what do you think?” you lightheartedly roll your eyes before going back to scrubbing your body

#! he picked the loofah out of your hand to continue for you

#! you both enjoyed the relaxing sound of running water and quiet echoed hums as he takes his time washing you when he suddenly stopped

#! opening your eyes, you looked up at him, “what’s wrong?”

#! he was just staring at you, blinking very slowly

#! “why do you look- your stomach feels- you look very-,” he sighs, “you look pregnant.”

#! now it was your turn to blink at him

#! you totally forgot that you were naked at the moment and he could easily see every inch of your body

#! blinking once more, you took a deep breath before telling him, “that’s ‘cuz i am.”

#! “y-you are?!” he jumped from his spot

#! “yea.. do you have a problem with that?”

#! “i...why didn’t you tell me?”

#! “do you have a problem with that?” you repeated

#! “n-no..so why didn’t you tell me?”

#! “you’re not mad?”

#! “why would i...?” his voice slightly turning high pitched as he dragged the i out

#! “i thought you didn’t want kids.”

#! “who told you that? when did i say that?”

#! “twitter.” you murmured under your breath

#! “what?”

#! “twitter..” you said a bit louder, still murmuring and choosing to turn away from him

#! “twitter?! why didn’t you just tell me, your real life boyfriend?”

#! “because!.... i was scared.”

#! “s-scared? baby, why?”

#! “i was scared you were going to leave. i don’t want you to leave. that night i told you i had something to tell you, that was when i found out. i backed out when you came home and i’m sorry. i should’ve just told you, i’m sorry, tobio-,” you were crying at this point, both of you standing under the water

#! “shh, shh, it’s okay. i’m sorry for not noticing earlier. you’re alright, babe. it’s okay. it’s okay to not feel ready, you don’t have to feel pressured to tell me anything, alright? whenever you’re ready, you tell me,” you meekly nodded as he pulls you into a hug, “whenever you’re ready..”

#! you both stood hugging each other’s bare body for a few minutes under the warm water

#! “that was probably the smartest thing you’ve ever said, tobi.” your voice sounding congested from the crying

#! “hey. mean.”

1K notes · View notes

littletxt · 3 years

Note

hello! i really love that beomgyu imagine🥺 and yes, you can expect to see me regularly on your ask then haha 😊 ok so another request:

caregiver fem reader with little beomgyu (age 3)

(sorry again if it’s repetitive because i don’t exactly know much about headspace ages so i’ll stick to one)

scenario: beomgyu decides to hang at y/n’s place but y/n has to babysit another little today. seeing how y/n treats the other little so caringly, he can’t help to teeter and feel jealous

~🌙

Hey bb!!! I finally finished your request! I’m sorry it took so long but I’m honestly thinking of doing a part two! <333 I did end up adding some other members naturally, I hope that’s okay.

🌼💗🌼💗🌼💗🌼💗🌼💗🌼💗🌼💗🌼💗🌼💗

💗🌼💗🌼💗🌼💗🌼💗🌼💗🌼💗🌼💗🌼💗🌼

Wc: 1.8k+

TW: Swearing!! (Once)

Jealous Baby

On the morning of your day off, you got a sudden call from a coworker. He needed a favor. And this wasn't just any coworker, this guy bailed you out of multiple situations at work, honestly you could probably call him a good friend. You couldn't refuse his request. He had been selected to go on a nearby business trip for the company and his partner had been teetering and regressing more often these past few days and he couldn't risk leaving them home alone. So of course he asked you.

When you told your boyfriend he brushed it off, acknowledging you bringing your friend's little into your home for a bit. Beomgyu figured it wouldn't affect him much since you promised to take full responsibility for watching the little one. He'd just go on with his daily activities on his day off as well. Though he'd love to spend it with you alone, he knew how important your friendships were to you. He also knew that you would never deny someone in need of help, being the kind-hearted person you were.

The little boy was dropped off and hurried words of thanks and appreciation were exchanged at the door as your coworker, Soobin, rushed to make it to his 10 o'clock train. The little one looked at you with big nervous eyes, shuffling his feet and pulling his long jacket sleeves over his hands. Beomgyu didn't show much interest other than a side glance, he hadn't known it would be a little boy. He subconsciously wondered his little age, but quickly turned his attention back to his phone, scrolling through his Twitter feed.

"Hi, little one, my name is y/n. This is Beomgyu. I'm gonna be watching over you today. I hope we can have lots of fun together. Can you tell me your name, sweetie?", You ruffled his soft brown hair, thinking it was cute to see someone so tall behave so little.

"Ningie...Uhm... K-kai..", he felt unsure what you should call him. He knew his name, of course. But when he was little, Daddy always called him 'Ningie'. Beomgyu still only granted the two of you standing in front of the door another glance, recognizing that soft, caring tone in your voice that he'd only ever heard you use with him. But again, back to his phone.

"Hmm, Ningie. I think that sounds so cute! Just like you! Have you eaten breakfast yes, sweetie?", You helped him remove his jacket and hung it next to the door. He shook his head 'no'. His daddy wanted to get him breakfast but they had woken up late he hadn't found the time within the chaos of getting ready and leaving.

"I'll go make him something, you guys get settled.", Beomgyu stood from the couch to fetch breakfast for little Ningie. The tone of voice you were using was making it hard to concentrate on anything. He needed a distraction.

"Oh thanks, hun. Come on, Ningie. Let's find something fun to do. We can color and we have lots of toys that I'm sure my little wouldn't mind sharing.", you held out your hand for him to take. Which he did, less hesitant after hearing you had a little like him. Was that boy Beomgyu a little? He didn't seem little at all.

Beomgyu made waffles for the little and you somehow managed to help him eat without making any mess. Now you just had to pass the time until his Daddy came to fetch him after his meeting. You decided on using Beomgyu's playdough after watching Ningie's eyes light up, far too shy with you to ask for it himself. Your boyfriend tried not to watch how gentle and endearing you were with the boy that played with his little things. He focused on gaming instead. You hadn't even thought to ask him if using his little items was okay, Beomgyu has always been kind so you didn't think it would be a problem.

And it wasn't, nope, not a problem at all. Why would it be? That's what he told himself as he powered on his game system and grabbed his pink controller from the charger. He could feel the little one's eyes graze over him, then avoid him all together. What was that about?

When lunchtime came around you said you'd whip something up really quick asking your boyfriend to watch over the little for just ten or so minutes. The little one had gotten a little anxious and needed to borrow one of Beomgyu's plushies since his daddy, in his morning hurry, had forgotten to pack his. You figured it was just separation anxiety and not the fact that your boyfriend was growing tenser each passing hour, now even grunting in annoyance every once and a while. At the game right?

You brought out two plates, one for Beomgyu and one for Ningie. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, everyone liked those. You took special care of Ningie's, cutting off the crust and cutting it into four triangles. Beomgyu's you simply cut in half, so he could eat it a bit easier and didn't need to disrupt his gaming much.

Satisfied with your work and Ningie eating happily you went to also fetch some of Beomgyu's strawberry milk for everyone. At this point, he couldn't believe how careless you were being, completely ignoring how he felt. But he didn't say anything, he felt you should be paying attention enough to know this already. He kicked out his feet suddenly in frustration, scaring the already anxious little boy just a bit. All of these things had slipped your mind as you worked hard to accommodate Kai and do this favor well for your coworker. You knew Beomgyu liked his crust cut off and his sandwich cut when he was little, but he wasn't regressed right now so it hadn't crossed your mind.

He chomped on his food, maybe a little too loudly, but he wanted to get it down quickly so he could focus on Fortnite instead of you wiping off Ningie's face since he'd gotten some jelly over his mouth. He tapped his foot on the floor and took both plates to the kitchen for you once the little boy had also finished.

Ningie had taken a liking to the stuffie and Beomgyu's playdough so the two of you resumed play on the beige-colored carpet after lunch. Beomgyu also resumed his previous activities, focusing on trying to win first place in each match in Fortnite. But each match that passed he seemed to make more and more silly mistakes. His knuckles turned white as he firmly gripped the controller. After another 10th place, he practically growled out his frustrations, throwing his head back against the dark-tan couch.

"Gyu, you're scaring him...", you mumbled. You had never seen him like this, so tense and high strung, all over some silly game? He avoided your eyes after muttering some form of apology and starting another match.

The sound of your loving coos of praise and Ningie's giggles swirled in his head as he hunted down the last player left. They found him first getting a couple of shots in before he could build walls around him to heal. He cursed himself, how did he not see them, a giant neon banana running around with a neon green gun?! The shots broke down his wall and shot through his character, ending the match with him in second place.

Beomgyu nearly yelled, growling again as he stood and threw the controller aggressively down at the couch.

"I hate this fucking game.", he stormed off to your bedroom, slamming the door behind him. This startled both you and Ningie. Beomgyu was absolutely never like this. You'd also never seen him lose this many matches in a row, ever. It was cheesy but your boyfriend was anything but an average gamer, especially when it came to shooters. You were puzzled as you comforted the little in front of you, getting him back into a good mood by putting on a Disney movie. By the time it finished his Daddy would be there.

As much as you wanted to check on Beomgyu, he had left his phone on the arm of the couch and you couldn't very well leave a three-year-old alone. He probably needed cool-down time anyways. You heard him trudging around your bedroom, grumbling about something. Soon, you could go to him.

"Bye!! It was so nice to meet you, Ningie!", you closed the door and exhaled slowly. For the past hour, all you had on your mind was the dead silence coming from the hall. Maybe he's taking a nap? That didn't seem likely, though. You knocked on the door to your bedroom but didn't receive a reply so you peeked in to see Beomgyu laying in the center of the bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Gyu?", your eyebrows furrowed with concern.

"Not now, y/n.", he spoke in a monotone voice, void of any emotion. You couldn't lie, it hurt. He rarely called you by your name.

"Gyu, sweetie...", you walked to the bed, sitting on the edge, reaching for his hand. But he tore it away quickly.

"Sweetie? Don't call me what you called him.", he quickly sat up scooting back against the headboard to hug his knees to his chest and hide his face in his arms. You were confused for a moment, but it wasn't hard to tell he was jealous.

"Beomie, baby boy. Mommy loves you. You're my only little one. Do you understand? I'm sorry mommy was so busy today.", you did your best not to frown, your baby must have felt so lonely and neglected. He mumbled something, but you couldn't hear him. His voice was mumbled by his arms.

"I didn't hear you, baby, look at me.", you took his hand and he lifted his head slowly revealing his eyes filled with tears threatening to spill over.

"You cut off his crust and gave him Mrs. Bubbles!", he let the tears fall and crashed his head back down into his arms. You felt terrible. Of course, it wouldn't be any different, he'd like the same things big or little. How could you not think something like this would happen?

"Come here, baby boy.", you opened your arms and it didn't take long. He needed you. He was immediately in your arms, the cloth of your shirt fisted in his hands and soon becoming stained by his tears. You rocked him gently, shushing him and rubbing his back,

"y-you're MY mommy!", he sniffled and nestled into your arms completely, allowing himself to feel tiny.

"Always, baby boy. I'll always be Beomie's mommy only."

You spent the rest of the evening cheering up your sensitive little prince. Watching movies, snuggled up on the couch, and promising to buy him plenty of extra strawberry milk to replace the one you had given away carelessly. Eventually, he apologized for behaving the way he did, you both could have handled things better. He needed to apologize to Kai, as you apologized to him. Maybe next time Kai came over, it could be a little playdate and no one had to feel left out.

🧸End note: I’m totally thinking of doing a part two for this 💕

🧸Masterlist🧸

#littletxt 🌙 anon #littletxt requests🧸#agere #txt imagines #txt soft hours #age regressor #agerespace #sfw little community #txt agere #beomgyu #beomgyu soft hours #little!beomgyu #beomgyu x reader #beomgyu imagines #beomgyu fluff #choi beomgyu

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