#I promise on my love for all cats that I truly don’t mean to seem like a creepy stalker or cringey person!

[igneousfeline]

Oh this is probably a really really stupid question, but is there like any legit/okay way to reach out to people who have blocked you on tumblr? I know that sounds crazy but please let me explain! I was just wondering cause I think I was blocked from some accounts I truly love to follow because I didn’t have my age in my bio which I have since fixed. I’m assuming there is really no way to do it but I figured I might as well just ask if anyone knows any way to do so in a respectful manner. I understand that actions have consequences so I definitely understand and respect anyone and everyone’s decision to block out people just to make it clear!

Anyway I hope this doesn’t sound super cringey or like a total creeper….but if it does please do let me know because it is not in anyway my intention! And just to make it clear again I have no intention of trying to harass or bother anyone I just wanted to know if there were any legit/respectful ways to reach people. Sorry for the ramble I am really just an idiot on the internet.

[illdowhatiwantthanks]

Hello, talented human!!! I’m craving something angsty that makes my heart hurt with Emily and girlfriend reader <3

Hey, friend! I've been thinking about writing this for a while, and your request was the perfect excuse. Very angsty, much sadness. Not resolved per se, but if you know the basic timeline/plot line of Season 6, you should be able to infer a somewhat happy ending 😉 Hope you enjoy! 💖 –illdowhatiwantthanks

White Fang

Emily Prentiss x fem!reader Warnings: established relationship, angst, general threats of Criminal Minds-style violence, explicit language (let me know if I've missed anything!) Word count: 2.1k

Summary: Something's going on with Emily, but her trying to break up with you is the last thing you expected. Takes place during the events before/surrounding 06.18.

“I think we should break up.”

Emily might as well have punched you in the stomach. You felt blood rushing in your ears, felt the love and trust you’d built with her over the last few years churn and unsettle themselves inside of you. Her words had taken you completely off guard. All you’d asked is why she seemed so on edge these days, if there was something you could do to help her.

“Emily…” you said, your voice floundering as you tried not to cry. You had arguments. You had points to make, but you couldn’t seem to get them out.

Emily folded her hands as she sat across from you at the kitchen table, both of your breakfasts sitting untouched in front of you. She shrugged.

“I just… I think our relationship has run its course.”

“Emily Elizabeth Prentiss,” you spat, your face growing redder by the second. “We live together. I’m in your will. We’ve been together for four years. Four years! We have a cat together!” you yelled, gesturing wildly toward Sergio, who perched in the bay window.

She was silent, picking at the ends of her fingernails, glancing at you every few seconds. She was lying. She had to be lying. You were no profiler, but you knew Emily. You knew all her tells. You knew when she was stressed, when she was lying, when she was trying to do something brave and sacrificial to protect you.

“I want your stuff out by the end of the week,” she said quietly.

You felt like you’d been slapped in the face. In your head, you knew that there was something under the surface. Something had Emily so scared that she was trying to… And then a lightbulb went on in your head.

You sat back in your seat and smirked. “No.”

Emily raised her eyebrows, frustrated. “No?”

You crossed your arms over your chest. “No. I think you’re bluffing.”

“I’m not.”

“I think you are. I think you’re trying to White Fang me.”

Now she just looked confused. “I’m trying to what?”

“White Fang me,” you repeated. “You know, like in the book, where he lets the wolf go because it’s better for him in the wild. You’re trying to get rid of me because you think I’ll be better off without you.”

“I’m trying to get rid of you because I don’t feel that way about you anymore,” Emily said, but her voice cracked a bit, and you knew then that you were right.

“No, you’re not!” you exclaimed, sighing in frustration. You moved to the chair closest to her and took her hands in yours, even as she tried to avoid your eyes.

“Will you tell me what’s going on?” you asked quietly. “I promise I can handle it. I love you, okay? I’m not going anywhere. Your White Fang plan won’t work on me, so you might as well tell me about whatever it is that’s got you so scared.”

Emily’s jaw clenched, and you could see tears forming in her eyes.

You brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and cupped her face in your hands. “Please tell me, Em.”

She finally met your eyes, and the unadulterated fear written all over Emily’s face was the first part of this conversation that had truly scared you.

She sighed deeply and shook her head, her demeanor going cold as she watched you. “If I tell you what’s going on, you have to do exactly what I tell you to. Understood?”

You nodded apprehensively.

“I mean it,” she said, eyes drilling into you, voice harsher than usual. “This is not a game. The more information you have, the more danger you're in. This is life and death. I am sorry you’re a part of it…” Emily bit her lip and looked away. “I need to know that you'll follow my instructions exactly.”

“Okay,” you agreed, quiet, more scared now than you’d been when she’d tried to break up with you.

“You remember I told you that, before I joined the FBI, I worked at the CIA and at Interpol?”

You nodded. Emily tugged on the strands of hair closest to her ear–an anxious habit–and you took her hand in yours, running your thumb along the back of it.

“When I worked at Interpol,” she continued, “I was undercover as an arms dealer for almost three years. Our team was investigating a former IRA captain, Ian Doyle. I infiltrated his operation by… by pretending to be in a relationship with him. Doyle had a son and, after we finished the op, I faked the son’s death so he’d be safe if Doyle ever got out of prison.”

This was so much information, information that, frankly, you couldn’t believe you didn’t already have about Emily. You thought you’d known everything, everything about her. Apparently not. You latched to the only piece of information that felt even mildly normal.

“IRA like the bank accounts?”

Emily sighed again, somewhere between amusement and deep, deep sadness. “No, baby. The Irish Republican Army. The terrorist organization.”

“Okay,” you nodded, your voice shaky.

Emily took another deep breath. “Last month, Doyle escaped from prison in North Korea. As far as my contacts and I can tell, he’s in DC. He’s tracking down the members of my team and killing them, likely for information about his son.”

Emily watched the wheels turning in your head as you realized what she was saying, watched you grow more and more scared. And she hated herself then. She hated herself for not having the fortitude to follow through on breaking up with you. It would be so much safer for you, so much easier, if you didn’t know, if she could just let you go. But she couldn’t. Not when you were holding on so tightly.

“But…” You tried to reason yourself out of the terror that had taken over your body. “But you were undercover, right? He doesn’t even know who you really are. He wouldn’t even know… that you’re here. Right?”

When she didn’t answer, you prompted her again, your voice high and desperate. “Right, Em?”

“I’m pretty sure he knows who I am,” she whispered, holding tight to your shaking hands. “I think he knows who I am, where I am… I think he knows… who I care about.”

You sucked in a shaky breath, panic shooting icy-hot through your body. Emily smiled wryly at you when you finally met her eyes.

“Do you wish you’d just left?” she asked.

“N-no,” you replied, a tear streaking down your cheek. “I’m just–I’m scared, that’s all. But I’m still… I’m still not going anywhere.”

Emily grasped your head and pulled you toward her, wrapping her arms around you and holding you close as you hyperventilated. She was overwhelmed by you–your love, your loyalty, your bravery in the face of what most people would run from. She hated to drag you into this, hated to be the reason you were in danger, the reason you were scared. But she was also so selfishly glad to have you with her.

“Are you okay?” she asked softly as your breathing slowed.

You nodded, pulling back to wipe your face and look her in the eyes.

“What are we gonna do, Em?”

Emily steeled herself for this part of the conversation. “This is the part where you listen, and you do what I say. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“You’re gonna go to my grandfather’s cabin in the Alps.”

“To France?!” you blurted, alarmed. Emily squeezed your hand.

“You’re gonna go to the cabin and stay there until I come for you. It's far enough off the map that you should be safe there. You’ll travel under an alias. I have bank accounts and a passport set up for you under a new name. You'll use a new phone. You cannot under any circumstances log into any of your social media accounts on it. You cannot tell your family where you are. You can’t tell anyone where you are. There’s a stash of burner phones at the cabin, which you can use to call your family once a week to tell them you’re safe.”

“But…” you protested lightly, scared out of your mind at this point. “What’ll I tell them?”

“I don’t care. Lie. But do not tell anyone where you are. If you don’t hear from me in six months–”

“Six months!?” you exclaimed.

“Listen to me, baby, this is important,” Emily said forcefully, grabbing the sides of your face, then softening her touch. She took a shaky breath and looked at you for a long time, as if she were trying to memorize every line, every contour, every bit of your face. “If you don’t hear from me in six months, I am probably dead.”

“Em!” you squeaked out, somewhere between a terrified yelp and a sob.

“After the six months is up, you can go back to the States, but you should continue to use your other identity for at least a year.”

“What about you?” you asked, rocking a little, trying to calm yourself down.

“I’m gonna try to shake Doyle.”

You closed your eyes, your body’s tremors seemingly out of your control for now. You didn’t even know where to start. The fact that Emily was some sort of undercover spy? That she’d been in a fake relationship with a terrorist? Faked the death of his kid? That you were fleeing the country and, even worse, fleeing without Emily? Somehow the worst part was that you hadn’t known any of this. You felt like, somehow, you knew both more about her than anyone and nothing about her at all.

“Are you alright?” Emily asked gently, her eyes full of apology.

You started to shake your head, then nodded instead. Emily had enough on her plate. Your sanity didn’t need to be one more thing to worry her.

“When do I have to leave?”

“I can get you a ticket for tomorrow.”

You blinked, trying not to cry. Of the two of you, Emily had definitely gotten the shorter end of this stick. But, god, you were so scared you felt sick to your stomach. But you wouldn't fall apart in front of Emily. You wanted her to know that you were strong and capable, that you could do what she’d told you to, that you’d be waiting there safe and sound when she came to get you. When she came to get you, you told yourself. Not if.

“I’d better pack,” you muttered, wiping your nose as you stood abruptly and made your way to the bedroom.

Emily wanted to follow you. She wanted to hold you and never let you go. But she thought you might need some time alone to process. If you had come back into the kitchen, you would have seen her bent over the kitchen table, her head in her hands, crying quietly.

Neither of you could sleep that night, watching the minutes creep by, feeling your time together dwindling down. After a while, you gave up on sleeping and just held each other, quiet and close in the dark.

“I’m sorry,” Emily sobbed out in the early hours of the morning.

“Shh, it’s okay,” you told her, wrapping your body impossibly closer around hers.

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, Em,” you whispered, kissing away the tears from under her eyes. “I love you.”

But this only seemed to make her cry more.

“I love you,” you said again, holding her so close you could feel her tears against your chest. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

Your goodbye was short, chaste, both of you trying very hard not to make the other cry. Emily on her way to work, you taking an Uber to the airport.

“I’ll see you soon,” you said, kissing her one last time before you left. When you pulled away, her eyes looked sad, distant, full of doubt. You squeezed her hand. “I will see you soon.”

But you couldn’t shake the feeling, as you drove off, that it might be the last time you ever saw her, the last time you ever held her or kissed her or laughed with her. You shook your head, brushing away tears. There’d be plenty of time to cry in France. For now, it was time to become someone else.

[anastasiabowe]

“…ᴀᴏᴍɪɴᴇ.”

Aomine was playing basketball with random people at the basketball courts down the block from his house. You were walking with friends, when you saw him dominating them all.

You gasp and run to the tall fence that surrounded the court.

“Aominichi!” Your pretty voice called out to him. Your friends giggling at the other men who were shirtless and sweaty.

He looked back at you and his energy was… off, but you obviously didn’t notice!

You ran around to where the fence gate was, and your friends followed in awkwardness. You ran to the bench where his stuff was, and he walked over to you, looking a bit annoyed.

“Can you not be here right now…” he looked off to his left and it seems like he was a bit embarrassed you were here.

“I wanna watch you play!” Your bright smile beamed at him, his gloomy cloud not faltering around his head.

“I kinda came here to play to get my mind of things, and you are kind of not helping.”

“Well, I promise I won’t say anything!” Your voice was getting whinier, babier, and he wanted to yell at you so you can take a hint.

“Please, just go do something else away from me.” His voice didn’t sound so cautious anymore, he sounded mean.

“But aomi-“

“Y/n, can you ever just get the fucking hint? Right now I don’t want to hang out with you, I don’t want to hear you, I don’t want to see you!” His voice raised, and your friends looked at him in annoyance.

Your friend tizzy understood him, but understood you more so she helped you up and walked you away, your other friend Kira glared at him.

“Still got a small dick I see,” She spat and looked him up and down. “Fucking bitch.” She walked away towards you both and you were now holding back tears.

Aomine pinched his bridge and turned back to the game. Everyone looked a bit upset at him, not a single person in the mood to play the fun game they were before.

“What?” He annoyingly asked them.

“Who talks to their girl like that? Especially a cute one?” One said.

“Yeah dude, you’re lucky you have a girl that wants to spend time with you.” Another said.

“Would hate to date someone like you.” One whispered.

“Right.” Another agreed.

Aomine rolled his eyes, but truly, he knows they’re right.

“Y/n, please stop crying! He’s probably just in some mood!” Tizzy rubbed your back at a bench far far far from the basketball court.

“He-he’s always in ‘some mood’!” I wiped my eyes, and Kira looked like she was about to kill someone.

“He’s such a dick! You are such a great person, and he is basically using you. I think you should have dated Kagami or some rival of his.” Kira angrily said.

“No, I-I love Aominichi!” My tears finally drying up.

Kira cringed. “He doesn’t deserve to be called ‘Aominichi’,” she mocked in a Whitney voice, not mocking you though.

“Thanks guys, I-i think I wanna go home for now.” I softly said, standing up.

“Do you want us to hang with you, or do you want some alone time?” Tizzy offered.

“I just wanna play with Loki and be alone.” I smiled. They hugged me and we parted ways.

I had walked down to the train and got on. My phone dinged and I looked at it.

Aominichi💗: Hey, can we talk?

I opened the message and closed it, I wanted him to know I read his message but don’t care. Yeah, it hurt to do that, I love talking with him, but again, like many times, he hurt me and I can’t give in to that!

Another ding.

Aominichi💗: come on Y/n don’t ignore me😒

I opened it again and closed it.

I finally reached my house, and outside was Aomine.

“Shit.” I groaned to myself. I walked through my gate and right part him, I didn’t even give him a glance. I opened my door and tried to shut it, but he pushed it open.

“Y/n, talk to me.” He sounded irritated. Good.

“I have nothing to say to you, Aomine.” The name you gave him struck his heart. Yeah it’s his name, but you’ve never, no matter how upset you were, you never called him by his actual name.

“Y/n, come on-“

“I have nothing to say to you.” I grabbed Loki and sat on my couch. The white cat glared at Aomine, knowing he did something wrong.

Aomine stood there like “🧍🏻”.

I looked at him, heart hurting. I’m not a cold person, this kills me more than it kills him.

“I’m sorry,” He finally said. I looked at him and wanted to hug him, but no. “You know how I get!”

“Mhm.” At this point my cold facade was faltering, tears burning at the back of my eyes. My throat was starting to close and tense.

He walked over to me and got on his knees.

“I love you so much, please forgive me.” His hands clasped together and his eyes wide.

“If you loved me you wouldn’t treat me so bad.” A pout formed on my face, slowly giving into his apology.

“I know, I’ll work on it.”

After looking at him, seeing him on his knees asking for forgiveness was not like him, so I guess I could forgive him.

“Alright, I forgive you.” I smiled and his face lit up, but then a smug look appeared on his face.

“Yep. Don’t think I’m getting on my knees for you ever again.” He hopped on his feet and leaned over to kiss me.

“But seriously, I’ll work on my attitude.”

“I know you will.” I smiled and he rolled his eyes.

“Also never call me Aomine again. Doesn’t sound right coming from you.” His face cringed at his own name.

“Yeah, yeah, you big baby.”

[yurinaa-world]

Hi! Can I get Dan Heng, Jing Yuan, and Blade with a reader who's like Furina from Genshin? Also your blog theme is cute ❤️

Characters: Dan Heng, Jing Yuan, and Blade x Female Reader

Synopsis: with reader that’s like Furina

Warnings: Fluff, spelling mistakes

𝒟𝒶𝓃 𝐻𝑒𝓃𝑔

"Well, my dear Dan Heng, rejoice that you are now in my presence.” He listens to words like these all the time. It doesn't bother him that you act the way you do, always acting so confident before running away with a tail between your legs, or even better, hiding behind him.

Whenever you sulk (by a huge body of water filled with sea creatures), on your knees, cupping a little sea creature with such a depressed expression on your face, he’s always there, yet you don’t notice until he reveals himself to you. "Haha, you saw spectacular acting. Did you think I was crying? Well, I wasn't.” You scoff and laugh, trying to pretend you were okay when you weren’t.

Trying to comfort you, but he can’t seem even to touch your walls since you put up 50 more. Since ‘actions speak louder than words’ don’t they “you’re lying." "Ha, I’m not. I don’t know what you're talking about. I've never cried since I’m the life of the show." "Your eyes are puffy.” “THEY AREN’T, so stop saying that!”

You’ll never admit to it unless you're on your last breath or not. So he’ll hug you until you stop crying about whatever upsets you, and he’ll only do this for you.

𝒥𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒴𝓊𝒶𝓃

When a general is madly in love with you, he won’t care about any flaws you might have. If he were to be honest, when looking at you, he couldn’t help but remember the first time you had. You were a famous performer, and everyone enjoyed your acts, especially the ones that involved mystery. There had to be a trial, or this ain’t a show you want to be in.

You always played ‘the dashing and beautiful watcher/the great judge who had such venom and confidence in her voice’ and he was still training hard with Jingliu; your personality never faltered even without the stage that you were born to be on. It was who you truly were.

Now that you two have been together, you're more sentimental with him since acting for your entire life and being someone you're not is very tiring, so why not take a vacation? You love sea animals so much, why not go somewhere with a lot of animals? like a honeymoon.

𝐵𝓁𝒶𝒹𝑒

"Annoying,” that’s what he always thinks about (not all the time though). Your are so loud that he can hear you from the other room, and your dumb little shows, which he gets dragged to, are always about you.

Call you a brat and know you can’t do anything about it since you're like a scared cat; it doesn’t make it better that you hide behind him every time you go meet someone with a bad reputation; he has to go with you or you’ll die!

Gripping on his arm, "Please, blade, accompany me.” “Why should I do that? I don't remember being some sort of bodyguard to you.” "Blade, please; I promise I won’t bother you again!” He’s just messing with you; he’ll come with you, but he wants something else in return, like maybe the most tame thing he’s thinking about is a kiss.

When you kiss him as a payment, he’s so mean about it afterward, straight up making fun of you. When you complain about him teasing, “I’ll never forgive; you’ve done something worse than treason against me,” before walking off in a hurry.

He’s not all that mean, comforting you whenever you're in a depressive mood, giving you everything, and staying with you until you're better, and when I say he’s glued to you, he’s GLUED to you, making you feel better in any way he can, even if others call extreme care so much. He does not listen to anyone.

if you liked this, consider tipping me on ko-fi! it'd mean a lot!

[kyesreadingnook]

Riddler general relationship HCS

He’s very picky with the people he keeps close to him— granted that is a blend of overinflated ego, general distrust of others, and so on. In a sense he’s sort of like a cat, he needs his own time and space to warm up to people, and even then there’s no guarantee he’ll show all his true colors.

But you, my friend, are truly something unique— He just can never seem to get bored of you, both with your enchanting appearance, but mainly with the content of your character.

Edward appreciates those who can actually provide substance in a conversation rather than mindless babble, small talk, or mere niceties. And you provide it with such a graceful ease, he considers it almost impressive! And that right there is quite a compliment coming from him.

I don’t think he has any particular taste in physical appearance, regardless of physical body type, hair color— whatever, sure, he thinks colorful hair is pretty, or finds himself paying more attention to more unique fashion. But that doesn’t mean he has a set taste, truly, it’s the mind he’s after.. well, and personality. He wouldn’t want to date a wet blanket, after all.

Edward enjoys a puzzle, he doesn’t want someone who’s easy to configure, someone who’s trying to make themselves easily digestible— he likes complication, a mental challenge. He loves the eccentric, someone he can pick the brain of at any time of day. And that’s exactly what you are to him, his puzzle.

He, quite obviously, has a habit to peacock not only his intelligence, but his drama, his flair, his fashion— everything! he finds himself to be superior to most in every single one of those senses. Yet, that ego only (somehow) grows bigger when you pay him compliments based on those things. Mention how good his hair looks, how expensive his suit must be, and by god tell him how complicated yet impressive his plans are— he will melt almost immediately.

Dates with him are nothing but eccentric— he buys out (Though mainly threatens the owners’ of said businesses.) entire movie theaters and restaurants just for you both. Why would he want other people there to spoil his time with his darling? He wants you to feel special, to show you how good things are when you’re by his side. You’re always promised an expensive dinner, incredible shopping trips, and so much more— though, if you truly, deeply need just a relaxing date at home, he’ll do his best to tone it down.

Now lastly onto physical touch— he isn’t the biggest fan of it, and it’s less of him not wanting to touch you or be touched by you, but more so a sensory thing for him. He’s very particular about touch, always has been ever since he was young. But, rest assured it’s never anything personal with you. He’ll still happily abide if you need a cuddle or a kiss, but he has his own ways of showing his affection for you.

[ririwithrice]

Meet the Alters + explaining myself?

TW VENT, PERSONALITY DISORDERS, TRAUMA, CHILDHOOD TRAUMA, MENTAL ILLNESS ETC

hi, i’m roshi, and ever since i was little i’ve had moments where i’ve felt like multiple people or had conflicting opinions or felt guilty or conflicted about things i’ve said or decisions i’ve made before, as if they weren’t done by me or don’t actually align with my beliefs and interests. i often feel myself feeling like different people, switching like someone with a personality disorder, typically DID. i align with a vast majority of the symptoms of DID, howeverrr i haven’t had an official assessment of it or talked about it to a professional, or had a diagnosis.

I AM NOTTTT SAYING I HAVE DID OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT, DO I BELIEVE I COULD PROBABLY HAVE IT OR ANOTHER PERSONALITY DISORDER? YES. BUT IM MOT SAYING I DO AS ITS A SERIOUS CLAIM AND I NEED TO CONSULT A PROFESSIONAL BEFORE I AM CONCRETE WITH THAT CLAIM.

I do not want to make myself seem like a spectacle or like this is all fun and games and silliness. it’s not. is it fun and cute sometimes? yeah, and i love when the fun/sweet alters come to visit me, but it’s not always fun or cute. it leaves me feeling like i don’t know who i am at times, and like i’m no one or have no actual morals because i feel like i’m not a real or actual personality/person. it’s made me be mean and dismissive to my loved ones and felt awful about it afterwards. it makes me feel like i have no actual personality or interests because they always change or feel different. i have actually sometimes struggled to tell past dreams or delusions from reality and the possibility of that seriously affecting me (it hasn’t yet luckily) actually terrifies me but it’s not that extreme. mostly just random stuff but still scary. my symptoms have resulted from trauma and having to put up several fronts or create different versions of myself to satisfy others as soon as i was the age where i realised i was being perceived. (so like 6 or 7 lol)

i haven’t had a label to term these symptoms till now. it helps to have these labels for alters or symptoms even if i’m not 100% certain about my potential diagnosis. sorry for the vent if you just came for fun character profiles i promise the isn’t as sad or dark as it seems i’m just explaining my stand point!

if you have any questions please ask me i beg youuu do not feel guilty or weird it helps me to understand myself better literally!

OKAY NOW THE FUN PART

Alters:

RIRI ❤️

Riri is my little alter, I usually feel in a regressed state when i’m her, and i feel just small and silly and say weird or cute things, at least i think they’re cute lolz. i love when she visits and she’s so sweet and has brought me nothing but joy 99% of the time. she has her own blooog, unfortunately i haven’t switched to her properly in a while but she’ll be back soon :). this is her blog @ririxbot . think of her like a real life cat valentine.

she’s my first termed or labelled alter. i do not believe she is my first actual alter tho, as she’s pretty new on the scale of my symptoms starting. On here and other places i have been silly and comedic or weird and saying things like “yes yes” which is kind of her catchphrase lol, and just genuinely being a weird cute little character. i thought it was completely by choice and just a silly character i did but i soon started feeling like her involuntarily and switching to her without realising until i started thinking it was just age regression or good method acting but no, i felt like i was a different person. people brought the possibility of DID or things like that up and i did research and i started labelling myself with some aligning symptoms and terms. I had felt like i might have had it before but never truly felt like i did but now i am aware of it a lot. heh. it’s weird but she feels like a robot or some kind of doll? i don’t know it’s hard to describe it apart from using the word character, but it’s not a voluntary thing yk.

KURT 🦖

Okay, i’ll be honest, kurt can be a DICK sometimes. he’s been a dick to people before and i’ve felt awful about it and people don’t understand. i’ve obviously took responsibility and do not feel like i am absolved of it, i am not!!! but i hate when he makes me feel like that. BUTTT usually if you don’t get too sappy or anything he’ll be just a standard funny british lad (ejekejhekauehea). he’s masc and probably gay? it’s weird cause i’ve felt myself aligning with gay or mlm concepts or relationships but i am not a trans guy or transmasc so yeah i think that’s been him all along. lol. he’s kind of the opposite of riri. she’s sweet he’s not sour but not over affectionate or lovey dovey or the kindest which kinda sucks.i have mixed feelings about him :P he’s kinda new but i’m pretty sure he’s been around subtly before for a long time but only just became more dominant. I’d give him his own blog but he doesn’t care enough or visit enough. he usually litterally only visits on weekends it seems. he likes chilling and laughing at dumb shit. standard lad to be around usually. i like him. i think.

I don’t have any other fully fledged out or completely solid alters but i feel like some are starting to come alive lol, so i’ll update but for now those are the ones i feel most comfortable with talking about or genuinely exist in my opinion. thanks for listening :) please let me know your opinions!!! or questions but please be kind

[fazedlight]

Plummet (Cat's perspective on Falling)

Cat had started so optimistic. Kiera, finally dressing as an adult? It was a promising development for her executive-assistant-slash-vigilante, one that suggested the kryptonian could possibly grow a backbone in the near future. Goodness knows Kiera desperately needed to come out of her shell. 

Cat had ignored the… well, cattiness emanating from the blonde. A bit of cynicism would’ve been icing on the proverbial cake, had it not heralded something darker.

But when Siobhan marched proudly into Cat’s office, showing her the security footage of Supergirl letting a dangerous criminal go, Cat knew something more was going on. And this morning she used my personal elevator. Perhaps she’s truly lost her mind, Cat thought. “It could be another Bizarro,” Cat said to a disapproving Siobhan, “Put this under your hat until we figure out what’s going on.”

---

Kiera seemed to only get more haughty over time. “You’ve branded me in the media as a girl scout,” the kryptonian said bitterly. “Everyone knows real people have a dark side.”

Where is this coming from?, Cat thought. Psychotic break, brainwashing? Carter loved that old TV show with the star treks, and once spent an entire month talking about mirror universes. Was this an evil Kiera with an invisible goatee? “I fear that you're having some sort of mental breakdown,” Cat said, “Don't worry, it happens to the best of us-”

But Kiera snapped back. “You are the most arrogant, self-serving, mean-spirited person I know.” Tell me how you really feel, Cat thought to herself, but she had to admit that those words struck a little close.

But that hurt was very rapidly replaced by a more primal fear as the kryptonian approached her. “You want to see what powerful really looks like?” Kiera said, “Watch.”

---

They say your life flashes before your eyes. That’s not what Cat saw. Nor did she have a single coherent thought, other than Carter’s face and endless screaming.

Luckily for her, her assailant didn’t kill her. Cat collapsed inelegantly to the ground, turning back up in a panic as the scornful kryptonian stared down at her. “True power, Cat,” Kara scoffed, “Is in deciding who will live, and who will die.”

Somewhere in the back of Cat’s mind - a stray thought as she tried to calm her pounding heart - she understood. She has all this power, but she couldn’t save her planet. Kiera was just as frustrated at her own powerlessness; her history would be enough to cause anyone to have a psychotic break.

Unfortunately, it didn’t change what Cat had to do next.

---

“People are in danger,” she said to James and Winn, as she shared her plan for a televised broadcast on the kryptonian’s erratic and terrifying behavior, “The public needs to be warned.”

“Miss Grant,” James started, “Look, I am sure that Supergirl is going to be fine soon-”

“Can you guarantee me that the public is safe?”

James and Winn shifted guiltily. I know this isn’t her, Cat wanted to say, I know this isn’t who she is. But Cat couldn’t carry a death on her shoulders of someone who trusted Supergirl because of her words. And Cat suspected that Kara - if the girl ever recovered - couldn’t bear that guilt either.

But she hated every moment.

---

Is there any recovery from this?

Kiera had been a wreck at work that day, scurrying around the office with slumped shoulders and stressed eyes, avoiding Cat entirely. Cat supposed she was breathing easier now that Kiera was back to normal, but it still evoked the same question - What happens with Supergirl next?

As Cat walked into her office that evening - intent to pour herself a stiff drink - she was surprised to find a metal tube set on her desk, with a folded piece of paper propped up against it. “I’m sorry,” the letter read, in familiar loopy, feminine writing. “I wasn’t myself.”

Cat opened the tube, noting a strange green glow inside. Kryptonite, she realized, sighing internally at the thought of Kara entrusting her with this sort of protection. “I don’t want you to feel unsafe. If you want me to stop interacting with you, I will,” the letter read. Cat closed the tube, mulling again over her assistant’s state of mind. Sighing, she placed the tube in a drawer, pouring herself a drink as she had planned, before making her way to her balcony.

She shouldn’t have been surprised to see the super when she stepped out, but somehow she was. Kiera sat far from the door, quiet as she looked out onto the city lights. Cat knew the super must’ve heard her, but she didn’t face her - perhaps waiting for the sendoff she thought she deserved.

Cat stepped forward quietly, reaching the railing of the balcony. And that’s what gave Kiera the courage to speak. “I love this city,” she said solemnly.

Cat stood silently, listening to the kryptonian’s words - weighing the tender passion with the agonizing remorse. “What I did to you, Miss Grant-”

“Oh please,” Cat said, shrugging off. “I’ve base jumped Kilimanjaro, do you really think you scared me?”

Well, that was a lie, and they both knew it. “Okay, yes, you did scare me.”

“I scared the whole city,” Kara lamented.

“It’s not going to be easy,” Cat said. “But if anyone can win this city back, it’s you.”

Kara nodded gratefully, biting back unshed tears. “Can I just… stay here for a while?”

“Of course,” Cat said softly. 

In the soft breeze and the quiet night, the two looked back over the city, and wondered what was to come.

----------------------------------------------------

I found it a really weird writing choice that Kara never apologized to Cat - or didn't seem to understand the fear she must've instilled in her, after throwing her off a building - so I tried to fix it here. (I have thoughts on Kara's relationship with kryptonite, but I will spare this post of that ramble.)

[marigold-hills]

Dunes and Waters

PART 1 • NEXT PART

PART 2:

Here is the thing about living alone: the routines. Little patterns of behaviour, daily rituals. Like turning on the kettle for tea before going to brush your teeth. A cigarette smoked out the kitchen window while waiting for it to cool down. Cryptic crosswords in the morning paper.

Remus has been living by himself for six years, ever since his mum died and his dad decided he couldn’t live with the reminder, going off to travel the Scottish Highlands and never returning. And he likes it, Remus does; never mind if he’s in his tiny studio in London, his old university accommodation, or in this lovely hotel in Egypt. Being alone suits him.

This morning, his crossword is half (and incorrectly) completed. The water from the kettle emptied and not replaced. His cigarettes – of which he still had three, he’s certain – all gone.

Worst of all? Sirius Black, hair up in a knot held up with his wand, sprawled out onto Remus’ favourite windowsill smoking what must be his last cigarette.

He looks like a cover of an album. Framed by the morning sun. Velvet Underground would pay a fortune for a picture of him right now, dressed in a loose billowy shirt he’s procured from Merlin knows where, and nothing else but boxers. Andy Warhol would paint him like he painted Marilyn – obsessively, repeatedly. Immortalise how he flicks the cigarette, a bit of ash falling onto the windowsill. Runs a restless thumb down the line of his bottom lip. Hums to himself softly and Remus thinks I was right because even subdued like this, it truly is a voice to behold.  

“I didn’t know how you take your tea,” Black says in leu of greeting.

“With hot water, to start with.” The meaning (refill the damned kettle!) seems lost on him, as he goes back to watching the world outside the window.

Must be a strange thing, to be here. Yesterday, and for the last two months, he woke up in a tiny cell made even smaller by the range of the chain holding him down. The window too high up and too small to give sunlight or a view, and even if he’d managed to get up there, he’d only have seen the sunken walls surrounding the jail.

Remus refills the kettle (again) and turns it on (again).

“Might making me one too?”

And Remus is a polite person. His mother taught him to be. So he turns off the kettle. Adds enough water for another tea, and hopes that this time is the last time.

“I like it real sweet,” Sirius drawls, stretching his vowels like a cat after a sun nap. “Lots of sugar.”

“You can add your own.”

“So inhospitable. So cruel. I’m sick, you know?”

“Sick enough to smoke all my cigarettes. Did you take your potions at least?”

A sharp tiny smile, a break in the veneer. “Knew you wouldn’t mind, Professor. You look like a right standup guy. The kind that lends others his smokes and his tea.”

“Potions?” Remus doesn’t let the man derail him. It must be an insult, with the way Black says it, but the doctor asked him to keep an eye, and he promised.

Never mind that he really doesn’t want his work delayed if Black gets worse on account of his own stupidity. It’s too important. Too time-sensitive.

“Yes, yes. I’ve taken them. Scouts honour, Professor. Or should I call you Doctor, instead, hmm? I’m sure you have one of those as well.”

“A doctorate? No. Not yet.”

“Pity. Professor it is then.”

“Just Remus. Please.”

NEXT PART

NOTES:

So I’m not going with the prompts this month because they just REALLY didn’t fit this story, but should still have 500 word bits every day :)

im currently applying for jobs so can’t write as fast as I normally do (they all have tests! Or hackathons! So so long), but will keep updating hopefully as usual

i love love love cryptic crosswords. They’re confusing as hell and fry my brain in such a delightful way :):):)

how are we all surviving AO3 being down?

@tealeavesandtrash

@moon-girl88

@hoje--aqui

(let me know if you do/don’t want to be tagged!)

[sophielovestaylor]

CALLING ALL SWIFTIES!! PLEASE READ THIS 🫶🏼🫶🏼

hey y’all!! this is an extremely big ask but i’ve been trying to get in touch with taylor and her team for ever, to hopefully one day try and meet her and i know it might not be likely but even if it isn’t i hope this message reaches her somehow!! let’s try make it happen swifties!

hi taylor!!! im not sure if this message will ever reach you or not seeing as you propably get loads of messages each day, but i’m gonna try and shoot my shot and see if by literally a miracle you’ll be able to read this message im gonna write to you!!

firstly, i’ve literally thought about writing this letter to you so many times (like SO MANY TIMES) but somehow my words always felt like they weren't enough to express the gratitude, admiration, and deep connection i feel toward you and your music but today i have FINALLY decided to just let my heart speak, and so therefore im writing to you! but no matter how hard i honestly don’t i could ever truly write how much you actually mean to me, how much your music has impacted my life, or how your presence in the world has been literally a light during some of the darkest times l've ever experienced (im so sorry if this letter might seem really creepy or weird i promise im just a normal 15 year old girl who loves her cat!!)

tbh i can't exactly pinpoint the first moment i discovered your music (i think it was around like 2017 and i was like 10) but when i first started consciously listening to you and knew who you where which is around when rep was released i remember how it felt and god was reputation such a good fucking album (rep tv or debut tv when because i am ACHING for those vault tracks ma’am!!!!) when i first listened to folklore when it came out it was like someone had finally put into words all the emotions i was too afraid or unable to express, your lyrics spoke directly to my heart and and it felt like for the first time, someone understood me and to me it was more than just listening to music it was like you were a friend who was there for me when I needed someone most, and your music even though you literally didn't know me at all helped me so much more than you could ever imagine

third off i just want to say thank you for being such an amazing person, you have one of the most genuinest and kindest souls i have ever seen, and beyond the music, i have to tell you that who you are as a person has been an equally important source of inspiration for me, i’ve watched you navigate your career with such strength, and an unwavering sense of self, even in the face of incredibly difficult situations (scooter braun they could never make me like you) and you as a person has shown me and so many others that it's okay to stand up for yourself, to speak your truth, and to own your story, even when the world tries to silence you.

your bravery in standing up for your rights as an artist, your dedication to us swifties, and your ability to remain authentic in an industry that often values image over substance has been nothing short of inspiring, you’ve faced public betrayal and criticism, yet somehow you continue to rise above it all with such resilience and this is something i honestly respect so much and you are honestly so so brave and such a role model for people all over the world (especially me) and watching you navigate those challenges with such literal amazingness gave me the strength to face my own challenges with a little more courage and to be myself no matter what anyone thinks and i will forever appreciate you for teaching me life lessons sometimes that nobody around me could

i have never felt more love and genuine happiness for literally anyone ever, i’m so proud of how far you’ve come in life and that you finally find someone that treats you with all the love and respect that you ma’am deserve (mrs kelce when????)

anyways tay i don’t want to bore you but thank you for being such an inspiring role model in my life, you’re music was always there for me when i needed it and even if you don’t know me i will always and forever be in your corner and will always root for you! when i stayed up watching the vmas i literally SCREAMED when you won!!!

when i first started secondary school, i used to go through a ton amount of bullying and people coming at for over nothing everyday over literally just the way i looked and i used to get added to so many group chats and get mugs of me posted alllll over peoples snapchat stories just because i was a little bit different to everyone, but through all of that who was there for me? FOLKLORE AND EVERMOREEE 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️!! you’re music and a lot of the things you’ve said about mental health and empowering women has helped me find my voice and my confidence and to be myself no matter what and i’ve made every single moment since then to embrace myself as a person and make the most out of my life!

this year i’m about to sit my gcses which i honestly find so freaky! but to end this off, hopefully if you ever see this i’d love to one day be able to meet you and i know you propably get a thousand of messages a day of people asking the same thing, but to me meeting you would literally be a life long dream, i would love nothing more than to actually just sit and talk to you and hang out with you and literally just be two normal people having a conversation, so maybe if you do happen to see this..maybe it’ll work out 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

i love you tay, and i’ll always always be in your corner rooting for you!! <3

- sophie 🫶🏼

here’s my socials for any of y’all that want it!! :)

insta: sophiegrrce

snapchat: sophiegrxce12

twitter: sophsversionx

[lifmera]

hi mera!! i hope you’re having a lovely day! could i please request a hazbin hotel, chainsaw man, and twisted wonderland matchup if it isn’t too much?

pronouns | she/they

preference | it doesn’t matter!

personality | very shy, but once i’m comfortable with you i become very chaotic! i tend to be mean affectionately when i get comfortable and just say what’s on my mind without much thought cause i know i can trust you. i am the type of the person to tell you if what you’re doing could get you hurt or in trouble in some way. i’m also very big about honesty so it’s rare that i ever tell a lie, especially to people close to me. hence why i want people to be straight up and not lie to me. not very big on people i don’t know well touching me, but if you’re close to me you can hug me if you’d like.

when i’m frustrated or angry, it happens often but it’s never truly that deep. like i’ll be angry but it won’t be for long. i do lash out at people, but it is often not just one thing that caused me to do it, it’s a build of of things over time.

being sad is just the same way, it builds up over time until it boils over. i cry a lot when i’m sad, same with when i’m angry, because i don’t know where to let out my emotions.

appearance | my hair color changes often, but right now it’s blue and purple! my hair cut is a wolf cut with bangs! i’m very pale with pale blue eyes and i’m about “5’3” to “5’4” in height! my style is grunge or alt, but i like to keep it simple! so just cargo pants, a plain t-shirt, and some high tops and jacket will do!

hobbies | archery, writing, reading, drawing, collecting, gaming

likes | 80s music, vampiric aesthetics, victorian fashion, cats

dislikes | bugs, spiders, thunder, loud noises, arguing

lil extras | istp | pisces

i’m a very all over the place person so i hope this is okay! thank you! <3

HI HUN!!! IM SORRY THIS IS SO LATE. IM TRYING 😭🩷

I’ve decided to pair you with…. CHARLIE, DENJI & MALLEUS

Pretty wide variety… i know!

She LOVES your personality once you start to become comfortable.

She loves to be chaotic with you. Shes just a chaotic energy in total.

She’d love if you kept her AND other people out of trouble! Thats why she loves you so much :)

Shes also huge about honesty. Did you see what happened with vaggie!

She understands boundaries. Although she’s probably huge on touch, I feel like she wouldn’t do anything unless you initiated it.

When you lash out, she tries to help you not bottling up your emotions, and talking to her anytime something happened, she’ll love to hear whats going on.

She loves your outfits and your hair!! She thinks its super unique, and would say “opposites attract”

DENJI

Chaotic trio w power!!

If you playfully are mean to him he’ll do the same. I also think he’d try to bite you as a joke. Like chomp chomp.

Hes HUGE on honesty. Like what happened with makima…? Yikes..

Please help him stay out of trouble. He’s always doing something hella nuts or putting himself in danger. Although most of the times he prob won’t listen, he might!!

I think he might be a little annoying, so it’ll make you get angry, but if you talked about it to him.. 100% he’ll try to fix it!

Loves how u look. Honestly probably fell for you bc of it!!

He would probably game with you. And he’d enjoy it so much and be like.. “could you teach me…”

Teach him all your hobbies. PLEASE. HE’D LOVE TO DO IT ALL. He’ll suck butt at drawing and painting but please. It’d be so fun.

He’ll kill all the bugs for you <3

I honestly think at first he’d be scared of thunder, but he’d start to like it, and help you!!

MALLEUS

Definitely found out abt you thru Lilia. Lilia approached you cus of your style and was like… we need to be bsfs.

He’s also pretty quiet, but when you get comfortable around him, he’d LOVE how chaotic you are.

I think he HATES when people are too uptight. And will look to you for a break!!

Malleus might be a frustrating partner since he seems closed off, but i promise its just cause he doesn’t have friends and he needs to learn :(

He’d be so happy to find out the reason you were shy at first is bc you’re awkward and you aren’t scared of him like everyone else.

He’d be fine with whatever you did to him. Honestly if you lash out at him, he’d be a little taken aback but he’d let you let all your emotions out, and try to help you through it all.

I also think he’d suck at art. At first. I think he’d pick it up super quickly. He’s pretty good at everything.

I think at first he’d also suck at comforting but after a while he’d be super great at it.

~~

I HOPE THIS WAS OKAY <3

[amonrastbrowns]

my full NFL team ranking 😚

key things to note: this is my first full season as a fan, i get most of my team knowledge from analysts, social media and my dad plus going based off overall vibes

eternal faves are my lions ofc <333 this team MEANS something to me!! i love their bond, their attitudes, their ways of always thinking outside of the box and doing crazy shit etc. and their coach!! dan campbell you absolute gem i love you so much. my fave player is amon ra (duh) but truly all of the team are my babies, even the players we haven’t drafted, traded for or got through free agency yet lmao

i root for you!

bills; mainly for my precious keon but the team just has great vibes overall. love how their fans are always donating to players’ causes! it’s very sweet

bengals; similar to the bills, just have great vibes. i hope they keep tee bc i can’t imagine them without the big 3! and andrei is my baby doll i love him dearly

texans; i’m ngl 90% is bc i love cj stroud to death. like he is so sweet with his shy girl personality and chubby cheeks and big eyes and glasses and and and yeah. also the other 10% is tank dell aka tankerbell. i can ignore the players i’m not fond of (stef, azeez) bc those two are still on there lmao (ik every team has bad apples tho)

chargers; cool team but damn can they get some playoff wins??? tarheeb is literally so beautiful!! big eyes and dimples!! my absolute baby. justin is cool and nonchalant. their coach is insane. they have arguably the best social media manager. good vibes all around

eagles; ik their fans get dogged on but i love their team. jalen, saquon, devonta, aj etc. just a very fun group. i have beef with cjgj and jalen carter tho… but like the texans, the other members outweigh that lol

commanders; mainly cuz of jayden but terry is also very likable imo. very promising team! excited to see what they do next season (tho they do scare me a bit after our playoff loss to them)

you’re cool

cardinals; not much to say here but trey mcbride has two moms and i fuck with that heavy. also kyler is cool, shoutout all the blasians out there

ravens; nate wiggins my absolute baby with his big eyes and smile. he honestly carries the team for me even as a rookie. but ofc lamar and derrick and all them are cool too. marlon however is my mortal enemy

panthers; bryce is soooo baby and cute. i love his smile <333 hopefully they do better next season cuz i gotta support my fellow cat team

colts; this team intrigues me. they’re really not serious at all which is why i like them. shoutout adonai mitchell, hope he does better next season

seahawks; mainly bc of jsn!! but they’re pretty cool as a whole. legion of boom era was A Time that i wish i was around for

buccaneers; baker mayfield endears me and mike evans seems cool (also his childhood is insane?? like hello) also best branding in the NFL by a mile. they have a pirate ship at their stadium!! coolest thing ever

you exist

falcons, cowboys, jaguars, rams, raiders, dolphins, patriots, saints, giants, jets and titans. i don’t really care about these teams all that much and i’m getting tired of typing lmao so if you have questions about any of em, ask in the tags!

division rivals

they get their own tier bc i can’t find myself rooting for any of them unless they play the chiefs. rome odunze is my baby however, love his shy girl personality and big eyes to death

very evil energy

browns; as long as deshaun watson is on that roster i cannot find myself to ever root for them

broncos; bo nix genuinely scares and annoys the fuck outta me. why does your name have five letters. why’d you play in college for 20 years and then end up mid in the pros. why do you look like that. so many questions

chiefs; everyone hates them so i won’t get into it. free isiah pacheco!!

steelers; annoying fanbase but unlike other teams, their roster can’t cancel that out. george pickens is annoying as hell. tj watt is a crybaby. russ is washed and corny. their best player is their kicker. free justin fields

49ers; similar to the steelers, annoying fanbase but their roster can’t cancel it out. deebo, brandon, nick, hell even brock sometimes pisses me off. george kittle is the one bright spot on that team. i’ll forever make fun of them for admitting they didn’t know the overtime rules in the fucking super bowl of all games

and that’s all folks! <3

[greghatecrimes]

I like you and i don't think you're a bad person but I feel like you don't understand Thirteen as a character, you seem to idolize the hollow caricature of her you've created that allows you to insert yourself inside. I'm telling you, you don't need to look like Olivia Wilde to talk about your passions and interests!

You don't have to attribute these things to a fictional person, you can let go of the mask and just be truly you! I promise you will find a new appreciation for Thirteen, and more importantly yourself. I wish you all the peace and love in the world, and I hope my words help you find yourself. Take care 💖

Wow, this was so enlightening for me about my insecurities and the inner workings of my psyche! Even more than five years of therapy, EMDR, and an entire psychology degree!! Anon, I’m assuming you’re the same person that sent me the ask I answered this morning. I see now that I assumed wrongly when I answered that ask under the belief that it was just genuine curiosity. The huge irony here is that I’ve grown a lot over the past five years, and lately I’ve been reflecting on how I’m in a place now where I’m perfectly happy to be who I am, to love what I love, to be unapologetically me. As a follower of my sideblog on tumblr (not even my main blog!!!) you’re only seeing a tiny portion of who I really am as a person (because I KNOW you’re not someone that knows me in real life). Having said that, it certainly takes a HELL of a lot of audacity to come into MY inbox and tell me on anon that you think you know me and my insecurities and how I think about Thirteen better than I know all of those things about myself. 

This is actually HILARIOUS to me, because I WISH the things I “hide behind a character”, as you would say, were as simple as passions and interests. When I was talking about attributing emotions to fictional characters, I didn’t mean silly things like the fact that I like video games, or being a cat person, or even deeper things like being autistic/ADHD (which I 100% admit, when I headcanon the House characters as neurodivergent, that is me projecting because I wish we had more ND representation in media. And you know what? PROJECTION IS OKAY. this is TUMBLR. I reblog fucking pony versions of my favorite characters! I write crack headcanons! Bestie, I’m just trying to de-stress on this blog. 95% of the stuff I post here is not as serious as you’re trying to make it.) Here’s the short version of my REAL “insecurities that I project into a hollow caricature of Thirteen” for you: I grew up being abused. I wasn’t allowed to express any emotions. Ever. I wasn’t allowed to have any needs. Ever. Now I have post traumatic stress disorder and my life is a mess. My life kind of sucked for the first 21 years and guess what? It still kind of sucks right now! I write and think about Thirteen processing trauma she might have faced in her life because it’s cathartic to me as someone who is healing from their own trauma, and to help myself cope with living in an actively stressful/shitty environment. (And guess what? It's a clinically approved coping mechanism. I highly doubt my therapist of five years would let me invest so much time and effort and emotion into a hollow caricature of a person that leads me to lose sight of who I really am!)

This is fanfiction and tumblr headcanons, not a published writing gig. You clearly care too much about my characterization of Thirteen aligning with yours, and unfortunately for you, I don’t. I write what I write because I want to read it. If you want to write her a certain way, no one’s stopping you! Make your own tumblr posts! Write your own damn fanfics! I’m not the authority on Thirteen and I’ve never pretended to be. If you don’t like anything about my characterization of Thirteen, then fucking move on. I’ve put way too much time and effort into giving everyone in my life the benefit of the doubt and striving to be the bigger person, to be the nicest person. And you know what? I’ve spent my entire life being ashamed of what I think and doubting everything I feel. I’ve already got five years and counting of working to undo that damage. I’m not about to let an anon on tumblr make me feel the same shame and doubt about my thoughts and writing for one of my favorite characters.

[morningmask27]

Thoughts on the new excerpt ?

it seems promising.

the chapters all had their good moments. FrostWhistle is basically becoming canon (sad that Whis isn't the cat that accompanies Frost on the journey), but Whis was so kind and it was so fun to see Whis In the text instead of in my head constantly. I have to admit I squealed in delight when Whis appeared. my little whiw has speaking lines! finally! (ok yeah Whis appeared briefly in River, but that was all)

the lack of buildup was a bit sad. I don't really believe Frost has spent a lot of time with Whis in the books as very little time passes between them atm. but in a magical otherworld (daily whis verse), they're spending a lot of time just having fun! I like that Frost trusts Whis so much, even when she has no reason to do so. She has to Trust Nobody, but Whis is an exception (is Whis Nodoby?) and it's so cute to see

Nightheart is Nightheart, he's ok. it's a bit annoying that the narrative makes it seem like he was actually wronged instead of him being an ass, but whatever, can't change that. but at least the female characters aren't portrayed as vile anymore. honestly my first thoughts when reading his chapter was that Myrtlebloom was going to steal his girl, and then Finchlight had that one line "Finchlight was heading toward Sunbeam. “Don’t worry,” she told Nightheart as she passed him. “I’ll make sure she doesn’t feel lonely.”" like damn girl, you're stealing your brother's gf almost immeditately there.

the rest of that chapter was a bit grating. i liked Myrtlebloom and Bayshine being sillies (and pulling out the Nightheart cringe comp) and Spark, Lily and Finch getting positive spotlight was fun, but the bigger clan stuff was fun to see finally, but annoying. Why Are So Many Cats Against Squirrelflight Becoming Leader? i mean yeah, it could be seen as them being weaker than before, or some other political stuff, but the total dislike of Squirrelflight by a grand part of the clan irks me. Twigbranch is an mvp for truly believing in Squilf. Lionblaze please stfu, you have done enough dumb things.

and i'm not that big a fan of deputy Ivypool. I know why she was chosen, both in a watsonian(in universe) and a doylist(our world) explanation, but it's a bit annoying. If they make the drama between dove and ivy good, While Also portraying Ivy in the wrong (because she is!) then maybe i'll allow it.

and then Sunbeam. it was an interesting chapter to end on, but if the Erins make Sunny fret over Night for a whole book I will riot. it will probably not 100% be the case because Berryheart has very clearly proven herself to be A Problem, but damn hell if she spends all her chapters thinking about her dumb boyfriend. Sun had some great moments in that chapter, being a bit awkward now that she's on her own (kinda) in a camp she barely knows, but luckily she has her two girlfriends Myrtle and Finch (plus Bay and Spark) who love and support her.

Berry's whole spiel was also a sight to beckon. Really well done, and Spark was having her "i'm the mom who steps up" moment and using it like a champ. I also Loved how Finch implied that Berry might be the reason Sun bailed. Finch is right, Berry is excruciating. The worries she planted in Sun's head better develop in Sun discovering she's in a wonderful environment now, surrounded by cats she loves and that love her, romantically or not. that she finds value and joy in living in this clan

just please, Erin Hunter. You made Bristlefrost so bland in the latter half of tbc, that was already enough, please don't do this again.

so yeah, I liked this preview. I can't buy it because i'm not shipping this bastard over from america to read, but maybe i'll grab the pdf and buy it once it gets translated in dutch (in many, many years, we're only at darkest night (avos book 4) atm)

[gay-bookshelf]

ARC Book Review: Wish You Weren't Here by Erin Baldwin

Rating: 3 Stars

The summary: "Juliette doesn’t hate Priya Pendley.

At least, not in the way teen movies say she should hate the hot popular girl. They don’t do cat fights, love triangles, or betrayal. To survive their intertwined small town lives, they agree to a truce: complete group projects without fighting, don’t gossip to mutual friends, and stand on opposite sides of photos so it’s easy to crop each other out.

Priya seems to have everything during the school year—social media stardom, the handsome track captain boyfriend, and millions of adoring fans. And Juliette is at peace with that, because she has Fogridge Sleepaway Camp, the one place she never feels like “too much.”

But Juliette’s dreams of five Priya-free weeks in paradise are shattered when her rival shows up on move-in day... as her cabinmate, no less. Juliette is determined to enjoy her final summer at camp, even if it means (gag) tolerating Priya Pendley, but fate seems has other plans. If Juliette can’t find something to like about her situation—and about Priya—she risks hating the only home she’s ever had, right before she says goodbye to it forever."

So, you've seen the rating, you knew my winning streak had to end somewhere. I wanted to like this book, so so much. As a young kid whose own summer camp genuinely changed their life, I was excited. I also read That Summer Feeling, I am not immune to nostalgic summer camp romance stories!! And I love a good YA novel as well, so this was shaping up to be a home run. From the start though, this book set itself up to be the definition of fine. Good at points, confusing at others, and unfortunately left a sad taste in my mouth. However, lets talk about the good first, because there is good! One, Juliette's struggle with her feeling "too much" is incredibly relatable to how I felt at her age, and how, genuinely and truly, my own summer camp help me feel more secure in who I was and my own identity. And Priya was a character who I loved getting to see more and more of as she became a fleshed out character as Juliette learns more and more about her.

The negatives I feel like can be summarized by saying that it is a debut author (not saying that all debut novels have this problem, just that it is a common one!). I think the books biggest flaw all comes down to pacing, in figuring out where to let a story line breath, in letting itself expand and contract. Not saying the book should be longer! (As that is a problem right now in the YA world, books being too long while saying nothing), but rather that Baldwin has not yet figured out how to pace out a story in the time that she did have. And the good thing is? That this is a debut novel, and I believe that Baldwin has the talent to take the steps into becoming an even better writer. Because if she could give the time to dive more into the characters she has? This would have gone up in rating for sure. There are aspects that I didn't like, that are more subjective, such as it being fairly fanfic-y in tropes (a common theme right now, and not my brand of tea particularly), and overall not the fun read I wanted, even though it shows promise. I hope to see more of Baldwin's work however, if only to see how it evolves. Also this is the most inane complaint but I was being driven up a wall the entire time when they were talking about college applications. That??? Isn't how they work?? You don't apply before you've even gone on summer break your junior year??

[oathofkaslana]

being very liberal w kind of pushed here:

obv kiamei makes me sick in the head it’s literally abt loneliness and finding life altering companionship within each other and sticking by each other no matter what bc you love each other…. this story is about love it will end with love…………. mei being the one to give kiana her final goodbye………. them constantly reassuring each other of their own humanity….. ough.

bronseele OUGH. angel demonisms will make me sick for the rest of my life bc of them i love them so much girls who claw their way back to each other despite the universes will.. they mean so much to me seele being the care bronya always needed/wanted and bronya being the first person who both believed in seele and got seele to believe in herself..

sakukallen.. they’re homes to each other i’m so fucking serious they’re literally new homes to each other and i love tht sm. they both feel like sinners but they saved each other. they’re everything the other wanted. a fresh start, a promise of protection, a future dedicated to being a knight….. ough.

elyeden. OUGHHHH. what if i chose to die alongside this era because your words about my art representing this era moved me so much that living in any other era would feel intrinsically wrong!? what if i spent the last moments of my life singing your favorite song as an ode to our era? what if i spent every moment of my life after your death thinking about you and what you would do in that moment? what if you were my best friend and the only one who seemed to deeply understand my art? what if we were both named after paradises? FUCKKKKKKK.

durarita. perfection is love… sm abt bianka being so fixated on her health and rita overly perfecting her cooking as a result to show her love for bianka.. rita preferring dogs and like literally not liking cats but still letting bianka bring home stan even when she and stan literally fuckibg fought fkdhjdfjdbjdjd all bc she loves bianka.. rita being perhaps the only person in the world who truly knows bianka ataegina aside from the monikers she’s gained..

susu. SORRY IM COUNTIBG THEM BITCH I MISS THEM SO BAD. literally silliest ppl ever but also sooooo sooo tender. two girls struggling w homesickness and feeling like they don’t belong and finding companionship w each other. susannah being the furthest in situation from sushang but still being the one who ultimately makes sushang feel at home…….. ough. Ough….. fuck.

owlana. DUHHHHHHHH. DEAR GOD THEYRE SO DOOMED I LOVE THEM. intentional kiamei parallels wrapped in tragedy. narrative wise written to both show mei’s feelings for kiana, the impact of mei’s betrayal, and mei’s guilt. AND deeply interesting on their own. ana lying to tianwu.. tianwu not thinking he’s good enough to actually see ana again…. ana killing tianwu….. tianwu still giving his core to ana anyways bc he still loves her even though he feels so deeply betrayed by her. some part of him hates her and some part of him just wants to hold her. they have a shared grave :( they can only be together in death.. even in their stigma forms…..

siegcelia.ohhhhh parents of all time. siegfried got his ass kicked for two whole years just to see cecilia again. mind you he came back to the very place he ran away from just to see her.. OUGH. cecilia holding siegfrieds smile so close to her heart it would be the only thing that made her smile when she was in a deeep depressive episode. both showing each other this new freedom that they’ve never really had. cecilia’s dream world showing her having short hair like how she had it back then i feel sick oh my god SIEGFRIED CLINGING ON TO THE INFINITY CORRIDOR BC CECILIA WAS IN IT AND KEVIN REALIZING HE WAS “CLINGING ON TO HIS LAST BITS OF HUMANITY” WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKM I HTE THEMMMM.

it’s genuinely impressive to me that i actually like every single canon pairing and pairing they’ve kind of pushed in hi3

[fanficimagery]

Mending the Heartbreak

When your boyfriend cheats on you, you find yourself hanging out with Max more and more. In doing so, Billy Hargrove proves he's a changed guy. Could this be the start of something new?

Words: 8.7K Author's Note: I love Eddie and Chrissy, but sometimes you need a bad guy and sacrifices must be made. Just a few words said out of frustration are mentioned- no cat fight because Chrissy really is too kind for that. AU because Vecna doesn't happen. I actually don’t remember writing this. It sucks, but you guys voted so here you go lmao.

With tears in your eyes, you walk across the street and then down the sidewalk until you're two houses down. The house you're approaching has a blue Camaro parked in the driveway, which nearly makes you turn back around until its owner is gone, but you need to speak with Max and you need to speak with her now.

Knocking on the front door, you step back and cross your arms over your chest. You scuff the toe of your shoe on the front stoop, waiting patiently, and are rewarded when the front door is yanked open. Billy Hargrove looks disgruntled at being interrupted, but his demeanor softens just a bit and an eyebrow arches at your appearance.

You sniffle and attempt to gulp down the lump in your throat. "Hi, Billy. Is, uh, is Max home?"

"She's sick."

"I just- I need to speak with her real quick and then I'll leave. Promise."

"Whatever." With his gaze still on you, Billy barely turns his head to call over his shoulder, "Maxine! The door's for you!"

It takes a few seconds for the familiar redhead to stomp through the living room, but when she catches sight of you on the other side of the door with red puffy eyes as you attempt to hold yourself together, her expression immediately softens as she asks, "YN? What happened?" She steps in front of Billy, but Billy is apparently interested to know what's going on with you now and doesn't attempt to give you any privacy.

"Did you know?" You ask.

"Know what?"

"That Eddie fucked Chrissy." Her eyes widen as Billy snorts something that suspiciously sounds like fuckin' idiot behind her back. "Did you know?"

"What?" Her tone is eerily calm and then she explodes. For someone who's sick, her anger is still something to behold. "When did this happen?!"

"Last month." Your shoulders sag since it seems she didn't know either. "Jason taunted me with the information like the asshole he is and then confronted both Chrissy and Eddie in the cafeteria in front of everyone. Apparently all of Hellfire knew, so now I'm just trying to figure out who my friends really are since the boys quickly banded together in support of their dungeon master. He can do no wrong in their eyes."

"All of Hell.." she trails off, glassy eyes hardening. "Lucas knew?"

"Yep. All the youngsters looked apologetic, but Eddie needed them more than me, I guess."

"That stupid son of a-" Her fist smacks into the door jamb in her anger. "I'm going to murder him!" You wince when you see how angry she truly is, most likely more at her boyfriend for not telling her, but still. "And Eddie too! I mean, what the hell was he thinking?!"

"I don't know, but- please don't do anything rash. I didn't tell you to make you upset with them. I just- I needed to know that at least one friend wasn't a liar."

"What about El? Or Robin?"

You shrug. "I adore El, but you're my favorite freshman. Plus, she and Mike are sickeningly dependent on one another. And Robin? I don't have lunch with her so I don't know if she knows what's happened yet. I left school after Eddie didn't deny the accusation."

Max takes a few breaths before calming herself and she sags against the doorway, her exhaustion catching up to her. "If I had known, I'd have told you. I can't believe he would- and that the others would-" She stops, sighing in aggravation.

"I guess this is what I get for getting too comfortable with a guy I assumed wouldn't cheat on me because everyone thought he was a freak." You shrug, offering her a faint smile. Max doesn't say anything in return and you take a moment to look her up and down. Most teenagers fake sick to get out of school, but Max doesn't look like she's faking it now. "Go back to bed, Max. I, uh, I didn't think you were actually sick."

She looks at you, gaze momentarily unfocused. "Yeah. Yeah, I should. We'll talk more later and plot your revenge."

As Max tiredly turns and walks back to her room, your romantic issues take a backseat while your concern for your young friend blossoms. "Has her mom been giving her anything to help her get better?" You ask since Billy is still by the door.

"Hell if I know. There's a bunch of medicine bottles on the counter, but she keeps barfing everything up."

You frown and then meet his gaze. "I'm skipping school tomorrow. Do you mind if I come over after your dad and her mom leave? I know a recipe that'll help with the nausea."

"It's your deathbed if you catch whatever she has." You huff and his lips faintly twitch in amusement. "That'll be fine. Maybe then you can keep an eye on her while I head to the garage and clock in for a few hours."

You nod. "Sounds like a plan."

"My dad leaves at seven, but Susan's not out of here until nine thirty."

"Susan's not an issue, Neil is," you tell him. He tenses for the briefest of moments and you're quick to assure him that while you know just what Neil gets up to behind closed doors, you don't plan to stick your nose in his business. "I know a shitty parent when I see one, Hargrove. You just get home before he does. That's all I ask."

Billy mumbles an agreement and then he's shutting the door on you.

Since you had a private phone line in your room, you had no problem disconnecting it when you were suddenly bombarded with phone calls after school had let out. You locked up the house, pulled all the curtains closed, and then told your mother about your breakup when she got home so she'd know to send anyone who came looking for you away.

And since you were heartbroken, your mother had no problem letting you skip the day since it was Friday and it'd give you an extra day to pull yourself together. Though after she left, you quickly gathered all the ingredients you'd need for soup, and a pot, and waited patiently until Susan left the Hargrove house.

When you finally get to the Hargrove house, Billy is already dressed and lets you in before taking his leave and promising to be back by three.

Max is relieved that she doesn't have to listen to Billy's music blaring and that she actually has someone to talk to. You make soup for lunch and give her some ginger ale that she's immediately grateful for, and you spend the day crying in her room as she promises to give the boys a piece of mind when she's feeling better.

The weekend goes about the same, the only difference is that you take to hiding out at Max's when Eddie shows up to your house and then continuously stops by after your mother repeatedly sends him away. And then Lucas makes the mistake of showing up at Max's window one day (luckily you were sprawled on the opposite side of her room, so he didn't see you), and Max ripped into him about knowing about Eddie's deceit and the fact that he kept it from you- you, of all people, who never treated them like they were kids when everyone else did. Lucas was ashamed, but still held fast that he didn't want to get in the middle of it. Max had huffed and told him he put himself in the middle of it when he took Eddie's side rather than making sure you were okay.

It's now Monday morning and you're still not ready to face the masses, but you know you have to. And since your usual ride to school is with your boyf- ex-boyfriend, you take off walking a lot earlier than usual so you can hopefully make it to the school on time.

You've been walking for fifteen minutes when you hear a vehicle approach from behind and you hunch your shoulders when you hear the telltale sound of metal music being lowered. As the van pulls up beside you, you offer Eddie a brief look before looking forward and continuing on your way.

"Can we talk?" He asks, hanging out the driver's side window.

"Nope. I'm good."

"Sweetheart, please." You shake your head, scoffing. As you cried yourself out over the weekend, anger started to mingle with your sadness and you can feel that anger bubbling to the surface right now. Instead of lashing out, however, you grip the straps of your backpack and squeeze to focus on something else. "Just get in the van. I'll take you to school. We won't talk if you really don't want to."

"No, thanks.."

"YN."

"Don't!" You suddenly whirl on him, eyes blazing. Eddie brakes, eyes wide as he takes you in. "You don't get to plead or be sad or demand my time. You fucked up! You."

"I know. I fucked up and I'm sorry," he tells you, eyes getting glossy. "I'm sitting here telling you I'm sorry. Chrissy doesn't- she doesn't mean anything. I don't need her, sweetheart. I need you."

"Yeah? Well that would have been nice if you felt that way last month."

You shake your head at him, jaw clenching. Then just as you move to continue walking, a blue Camaro screeches to a stop just on the other side of the road. The driver's side window is rolled down and Billy's head lolls to the side, sunglasses shielding his eyes. He slowly smirks just as Max exits the passenger door so she can look at you over the roof of the car.

"Get in loser, Billy's chauffeuring."

Your anger immediately melts as you laugh. Before you can cross the road, though, you glance back at Eddie to find him frowning at the stepsiblings. "Hey, Munson?" He quickly looks back at you, expression turning hopeful. "In case it wasn't clear, we're done. I don't want to talk and I definitely don't want to hear any excuses or apologies. Just.. just stop."

"YN!" Eddie calls out one last time, but you pay him no mind.

Looking both ways to make sure no one is coming, you jog across the road to a grinning Max. She readily climbs into the backseat and you take off your backpack to rest at your feet as you settle into the passenger seat. You can still see Eddie's van from the corner of your eye, but you only look at Billy. "Thanks for the ride."

"Max's idea," he drawls. Billy takes his car out of park and peels out, picking up speed as he heads towards Hawkins High. But you're used to chaotic driving, so you merely sit back and exhale softly in contentment. From the corner of your eye, you see Billy glance in your direction before saying, "That conversation didn't look fun."

You huff. "Not one bit."

"Eddie seemed like a decent dude, even if I thought you were out of his league," Max says and that surprises a laugh out of you, "but you deserve better than that. Don't let him sweet talk himself out of this colossal fuck up."

"Hey!" Billy barks, glaring at her in the rearview mirror to which she rolls her eyes. "Language."

You grin as Max rolls her eyes. "I told him we were done," you say. "Now it's just a matter if he'll listen and actually leave me alone. I don't have any classes with him, but I do have lunch with both Eddie and Chrissy, and then my last class is with Chrissy."

"Chrissy won't dare to confront you," Max tells you. "And as for lunch, we'll form our own table. Screw Hellfire."

. . . .

Heads always turned when Billy's Camaro careened into the student parking lot, no matter that he had already graduated, and today was no different. Especially when people realized just who exactly was getting out of his car.

You grimaced at all the staring and whispering, Billy soaked up all the attention, and Max glared at anyone who stared a little too long. Dustin, Mike, Lucas and Will stood by the bike rack and Lucas tried to eagerly wave down Max, but she merely sneered at him before hooking her arm through yours and dragging you into the school building. You tried to tell her to not let your issues with the boys interfere with her relationship, but she merely brushed your words off and told you to shut up.

You had to endure pitying stares and snickering behind your back throughout the first half of the day, but by now you'd learned to tune them out.

At lunch, poor El looked torn between choosing to sit with you and Max or sitting with her boyfriend at the Hellfire table. You assured her you wouldn't hold it against her if she sat with Mike, but after giving it some thought she sat with you and Max. She mentioned something about girl power and you chuckled as you tried to eat under the heavy stare of your ex.

Then the much-dreaded class with Chrissy Cunningham is finally upon you and you take your seat without even looking in the direction of where she usually sits. You take out your notebook, textbook, and a pen, and wait a little too anxiously for class to start.

But the seconds seem to drag on, giving Chrissy an opening to approach you. "YN?"

Her timid voice makes you grip your pen a little harder than necessary and your ears start to burn in embarrassment when you hear the students sitting around the room stop talking in hopes of a confrontation. But you're not going to give them one. "Stay on your side of the room, Cunningham. I'm not in the mood to hear your excuse."

"I'm really sorry." Her cracking voice makes your jaw clench, but you still refuse to meet her gaze. She sniffles. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen. Jason is just really mean, and Eddie was so nice as he listened to me vent, and then one thing led to another and-"

You slam your hands on your desk, startling Chrissy, and glare up at the crying girl who's seen better days. "Then you talk to a goddamn counselor about your issues," you seethe. "You don't fuck another girl's boyfriend because he's better than what you have." Chrissy hiccups on a sob, but you're done with the conversation. "Now get the hell out of my face."

Uncapping your pen, you open your notebook to a clean page and start doodling. Chrissy hurries back to her seat, gathers her belongings and then runs out of class. Shoulders slumping, you inhale and then exhale deeply to center yourself. You just have this last class and then you're free to go.

You occupy yourself by taking notes during the class, ignoring the looks you can see being thrown your way from the corner of your eye. People whisper and pass notes the entire time, and you're relieved when the final bell rings.

You make a quick stop by your locker to leave your backpack since you have no homework and then make your way outside. You reluctantly intend to walk home, but you spot Billy leaning against the hood of his car as he smokes a cigarette. No doubt he's waiting for Max and, not in the mood to spend half an hour walking home, you walk towards him in hopes for yet another ride.

"Hey, Hargrove."

"YN." You come to a stop a few feet before him, thumbs hooking into the pocket of your jeans. "So, uh, I know the ride this morning wasn't your idea, but could you possibly help a girl out and give me a ride home? I'm so over today and don't want to get caught off guard again."

His lips twitch. "Munson still groveling?"

You shrug. "He stared, but Chrissy tried her luck during my last class. I'm over it."

"Did she have better luck?"

"What do you think?" You deadpan and Billy chuckles as he flicks the butt of his cigarette away. He seems a lot more mellow than he used to be, then again a near death experience inside a burning mall would probably do that to a person. "She tried to pass off their hook-up as one thing leading to another and it took everything in me to not scream at her. But I still made her cry even more than she already was, so I'm pretty sure those still loyal to her think I'm a bitch."

"Screw them." He lights another cigarette and takes a long drag from it. Exhaling the smoke, he nods to the spot beside him. "Get comfy. Max usually takes a bit longer."

You sag in relief. "Thank you."

Being single after spending nearly an entire year in a relationship takes some getting used to. You still have your moments where you mourn everything you lost when you broke up with Eddie, but Max, Robin, and Steve are there to make sure you don't spiral. Even Billy gives you support, which is weird, but you figure he just takes great joy in being seen with you in front of Eddie or his friends and rubbing it in their faces that you speak to him of all people.

Eddie's taken to staring at you from across the school parking lot or cafeteria, and Jason surprised everyone by taking Chrissy back and keeping her tucked under his arm at all times when walking the hallways.

For weeks, a new routine makes itself known- Billy driving both you and Max to school, and then picking you up afterwards. His only condition is that you stay with Max when their parents are out so he can do whatever he wants without them jumping down his throat for not knowing where Max was. You easily agreed.

But sooner or later you knew Max's ire with Lucas would dwindle and you'd be stuck on your lonesome.

Or so you thought.

Walking over to the Hargrove house, the only vehicle out front is the Camaro. It's lifted on some jack stands and you can see a pair of oil splattered jean-clad legs peeking out from beneath the car. Rock music plays on a stereo not far from where Billy lays and you walk up to it, crouching to lower the volume.

"What the-"

"Just me, Hargrove," you tell him before he can get too pissed. "Is Max home?"

Billy slides out from underneath his car and you arch an eyebrow at how messy he looks. He rolls his eyes when he sees you holding back a laugh. "She took off to the arcade to see those other friends of hers."

"Oh." Your shoulders slump. "Well damn."

He snorts. "Got a little dependent there, huh?"

"A little." You wince when you realize you had attached yourself to Max and had possibly taken up too much of her time. Then again, if she didn't want to hang out, she was the type to speak up. "Well there goes my day," you mumble. "I'll let you get back to work."

But before you can turn his music back up, Billy stops you. "I'm almost done here. If you want to hang out, we'll hit up a diner afterwards. You're buying."

"Do you think I'm made out of cash or what?" At his deadpan stare, you huff and roll your eyes. "Fine. Whatever. I'll buy."

He smirks. "Thanks, sweetheart."

"Bite me."

Billy laughs as your nose wrinkles at the affectionate nickname and pulls himself back under his car. "Be a good girl and hand me a wrench. It's the-"

"I know what a wrench is, jackass." You reach into his tool box and grab the tool he's requested. "I might be a girl, but I'm pretty sure I'm one of the only girls at Hawkins High who knows her way around a set of tools."

As Billy works, you sit there on the pavement of his driveway, handing him tools and rags when requested as you fill him in about how nothing's really changed at school. People are still gossiping dicks and you lost quite a handful of friends who were more loyal to Eddie.

Billy huffs and scoffs at certain points of your rambling, and then shares a bit about his past in California. You're surprised to find out that one of his first relationships ended with his ego being wounded when he found out the older girl he was seeing was also seeing someone else on the side. He isn't a fan of cheating either, which is why he prefers hookups over a relationship.

Or at least he did.

Apparently, he hasn't given dating a second thought after what had happened over summer. He'd been more worried about getting his car in working order after he'd crashed it and working to save up some cash so he could get out of Hawkins.

From that day forward, after you've treated Billy to a late lunch, you find yourself seeking out his company to give Max a break every now and then. She notices you hanging out with her stepbrother more and more, but she doesn't seem to mind so you take that as a win. She does, however, tell you to not get too attached. While Billy has seemed to have changed, she doesn't think he's changed too much and doesn't want you to have your heart broken yet again.

You assure her it's not like that between you and Billy, but the more time you spend with him, the more you find yourself at ease with him.

And knowing yourself, the more at ease you are with someone, the easier it is to catch feelings.

New Year's Eve is upon you and you're comfortably snuggled up on your sofa, watching the events before the ball drops on TV. Your mother is at a work party, ringing in the new year with her coworkers a few towns over and is staying overnight in a fancy hotel all thanks to her boss. She had felt bad leaving you, but you assured her you would be more than fine on your own.

Steve and Robin had invited you out, but you declined in favor of comfort.

At eleven o'clock, however, there's a pounding on your front door. Grumbling, you get up to answer it and groan when you find Billy standing there on your porch. It's freezing outside and this idiot has the audacity to wear a red dress shirt that has several buttons left unbuttoned to show off his toned chest and a gold chain hanging around his neck.

"No."

Billy smirks as you turn to walk back to the comfort of your sofa, following you in and shutting the door behind him. "Come on. It's the new year, YN! You should be out partying."

"I've already showered and am ready for bed as soon as I see everyone ring in the new year on TV."

"What are you, seventy?"

"I'm not leaving, Billy." You settle down onto the sofa, pulling the blanket over your lap.

"Show up with me and stay at least until one in the morning, and I'll stop making you buy me food in exchange for rides to and from school."

The offer makes you freeze because feeding a bottomless pit is not fun whatsoever, and you take a moment to mull it over. The longer you stay quiet, Billy starts to smirk, and you know you're going to be going out. When you groan, he laughs in victory.

"Fine, you asshole."

You stand up, grumbling all the while, and as your back turns, he says, "Wear a dress."

"Are you fuckin' kidding me?!" You whirl back around. "It's cold!"

"Not inside the house."

"But my jeans are comfy."

"I don't care. You're my pseudo-date for the night. Wear a dress. Or a skirt. I'm not picky."

"Ugh. You're the worst."

"You have fifteen minutes. Make them count!" He calls out when you turn around to head towards your room.

Hidden away in your room, you head straight for your closet. It's been a long while since you've dressed up, so donning a dress is the last thing you want to do.

But towards the back of your closet, there's a leather dress you had bought a little while ago to surprise your then boyfriend at one of his shows. It was sleeveless and the neckline practically choked you, but it was well worth it since from the tops of your breasts to your neck was all mesh. Even the rectangular cutouts down your thighs were made of mesh and it was the most jaw dropping outfit you owned.

So throwing caution to the wind, you pull out the dress. It's a little bit more snug than when you first bought it, but it fits like a second skin and hits you mid-thigh, and you just know you're gonna catch someone's eye. You forgo tights and slip your feet into a pair of black booties that have a chunky heel to them. Then your hair, which had been secured in a loose bun, is released so you can run your fingers through your tresses. You loosely plait your hair over your shoulder, leaving a few strands free to frame your face. You keep your makeup light and smoky, but don a red lipstick to give you a bit of a striking look.

As you're checking yourself out in the mirror, you allow yourself a moment to smile and feel pretty.

It's been a while since you felt this pretty.

"Hurry it up, YN! At this rate we're gonna miss the midnight hour!"

"Shut up, Hargrove!" None of your jackets compliment your outfit, so with a sigh you turn off the lights to your bedroom and bathroom, and then join Billy in the living room. "Hey, do you have a jacket I can borrow? None of mine go with my outfit." You're busy slipping earrings into your ear that you don't see Billy staring, slack jawed. And when he's quiet a little too long, you glance over at him. His eyes are on your thighs. "Billy?"

"Munson is a moron."

You roll your eyes, huffing a short laugh. Then snapping your fingers, you garner his attention. "Eyes up!" He quickly meets your gaze and smirks, unashamed. "So jacket?"

"It's in the car."

"Good. Now let's go."

Billy refuses to walk out in front of you and your eyes roll yet again. You know exactly where his gaze is going to land the second you step foot in front of him.

In the Camaro, his leather jacket is laying across the passenger seat. You pick it up and place it in your lap as you situate yourself, then slip your arms through the sleeves of the jacket. As Billy situates himself behind the wheel of his car, he takes another moment to look at you.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Billy starts his Camaro and starts to drive towards whatever party he's dragging you to. You quietly mumble the lyrics to whatever song's playing on the radio, feeling content in the passenger seat. A few minutes in and Billy's fingers are tapping along the steering wheel to the rhythm of the song before he glances at you and chuckles.

"What?" You groan.

"Nothing." His smile is infectious, and it makes you smile, squirming in your seat. "I just can't believe you've been hiding yourself beneath flannels and band tees and loose jeans all this time."

"As if I'd waste a look such as this on the boys of Hawkins High," you say while gesturing to your body.

"Well aren't I lucky I'm no longer a boy from Hawkins High."

His leering look makes you laugh out loud, shaking your head in amusement at him. "I actually don't normally dress like this. The outfit was bought on a whim a while back and then just never worn. But I wanted to feel pretty tonight, so..."

"Well mission accomplished. You look very pretty."

When you glance at him to gauge his expression, you find the leering look is gone. He's.. he's actually being serious at the moment. "Oh. Well, uh, thank you."

The rest of the drive is quiet and you sit there twiddling your thumbs until you arrive at a house where people are spilling in and out of the doorway. Snow covers everything, multi-colored Christmas lights twinkling along the house's roof and hanging from the trees. As you get out of the car and walk around to Billy's side, he readily tucks you under his arm.

"If you hook up with anyone, it better happen in one of the upstairs bedrooms. I am not walking home in this outfit."

"Relax. I'm not looking for a quick hook up," Billy says. "I'm just here to have a few drinks and not be a total loser locked in my room."

"Yeah, yeah. You say that now."

Tucked under Billy's arm, you wrap your own arm around his waist so as to not get separated from him. People call out, excited to have him gracing them with his company, and you try not to shrink when you see numerous people give you a double take.

Billy makes a beeline for the kitchen and you breathe a little easier there. It's not as packed and you readily accept the first drink he passes you.

Turning towards you, Billy raises his cup in a toast. "To a new year, a new you," he muses.

You raise your cup with a roll of your eyes. "To getting out of Hawkins."

His eyebrow arches. "I like that." Tapping his cup to yours, he repeats your toast. "To getting out of Hawkins."

The two of you down your drinks and Billy waste no time in getting you another.

Side by side, you and Billy remain under the archway to the kitchen. The TV is blaring, playing the exact same thing you had been watching, and everyone's energy is amping up the closer the clock ticks to midnight.

You're people watching as Billy talks up a few people, smirking behind the rim of your cup when female after female approaches Billy in hopes of walking off with him. But he surprises them, and you included, by brushing them off and curling his arm around your shoulders as to tell them that he's there with you.

You get a few lingering stares, especially stares that stay a little too long on your legs, and you're glad you've kept Billy's jacket on.

One female, however, apparently doesn't like the attention you're getting.

She approaches, a small crowd of her friends trailing after her. "Hi." Her tone is sickly sweet and directed at your friend.

Billy tenses at your side. "Courtney." He gives her a nod of acknowledgment, shifting uneasily and you start to chuckle under your breath.

Oh boy. Was this someone he hooked up with? Ex- hook ups are never fun.

You're ready for her to rip into Billy, but then her eyes slide to you, gaze going steely. It's your turn to tense.

"YN, right?" She asks a little too nicely. "Aren't you like dating that freak?"

Your back straightens a little at her tone and your jaw clenches in anger. Because while you and Eddie ended terribly, you're not one to bad mouth him, and you'll be damned if other people bad mouth him in front of you (Billy's the only exception because you know he does it jokingly to rile you up). "His name is Eddie," you tell her, keeping your tone as unaffected as possible. "Which you know since you clearly know who I am. No need to be a cunt just to gain the attention of a past fuck that wants nothing to do with you anymore."

"Oh shit." Billy barks out a laugh and you arch an eyebrow as the girl gapes in front of you.

"Now run along, Courtland. You're kind of killing the mood."

"I-It's Courtney!"

You shrug. "We don't care."

She splutters just as the countdown starts and her friends reach for her arms to drag her away seeing as Billy is not interested. You're glowering at the girl, making sure her friends drag her far enough away that you're not paying any attention to your friend. The countdown hits one and fingers suddenly find your chin to tilt your face upward. Lips descend upon yours, and for a second you lose yourself in the kiss, but the moment you feel a tongue seeking entrance, you break away with a gasp.

Eyes wide, you stare up at a smirking Billy. "What..?"

"You didn't think you'd ring in the new year without a kiss, did you?"

"Uh, yes?"

"Did you think that I would?"

"I actually thought you'd walk off to find someone else," you say, eyes darting to his lips before giving your head a subtle shake to clear it. Subconsciously, you lick your bottom lip and lean a little further back from him. "I lost track of time."

Clearly," he muses. He takes a sip of his drink, gaze solely on you. "We good?"

"Mhm. Yeah." Your squeaking voice says otherwise and you roll your eyes at yourself. Taking a moment to down the rest of your drink, you nod. "We're good. I was just caught off guard."

"Mhm." He hums. He placed his arm back around your shoulders and you can't help but lean against them. He lowers his mouth so it’s right next to ear and says, "Don't look now, but Courtney is fuming."

You laugh and refuse to look at the girl who is probably mentally plotting your demise. "Let her. I don't like pettiness."

Billy lets the conversation drop for a few seconds before he's saying, "You sure did jump a little too quickly to Munson's defense. You got something you wanna own up to, YN?"

You sigh. "Eddie was my friend long before he was my boyfriend. Just because we aren't together doesn't mean I'm gonna let people talk shit about him."

"Is that all?"

"Yep. Now drop it, Hargrove. Enjoy what time you have left before we have to go."

Billy huffs but does exactly as he's told, only he makes sure to drag you along tucked safely under his arm.

The days following New Year's Eve, you spend them holed up in your room. You don't seek out Max and you definitely don't seek out Billy, and you spend two days ignoring anyone and everyone. Then on the third day, your mother confronts you just as you're exiting the kitchen.

"YN?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you come here please?" With a bottle of orange juice in hand, you walk into the living room. Your mom smiles and pats the spot next to her on the sofa. As you sit, she asks, "What's going on?"

"Nothing."

"Really? Then do you care to explain to me why your friends are approaching me in the store and asking about your whereabouts?" You wince and sink further into your seat, leaning into your mother's side. She wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close and kissing the top of your head. "I understood when you needed some time after Eddie, but what happened now? You were doing so good."

You sigh and start picking at the label on the bottle in your lap. "Billy kissed me."

"Excuse me?"

"It was just a kiss to ring in the new year, but-"

"But?" She wonders, urging you to go on.

"It messed with my mind," you finally admit aloud. "I'm well aware Billy is an attractive individual, but I had him dead center in the friend zone. And then that stupid kiss went and ruined everything, and now I can't face him or anyone until I get my head all sorted out."

A scoff behind you makes you tense briefly before leaning forward so you can turn in your seat and your eyes widen when you see Billy leaning against the wall as if he'd been hiding just around the corner. "Seriously? That's why you haven't called or came by?"

Your mouth drops open in shock and then you look at your mom, eyes narrowing. "You're such a traitor."

She grins. "Sorry, sweetheart, but I don't like to see you moping. Billy told me what was going on and he figured it was the kiss that set you off."

"The two of you are no longer my favorite."

"I'm your mother. I'll always be your favorite." She then pats your knee before pushing up off the sofa, turning to grin at Billy. "You, however, are on your own. I'm going for a drive. Good luck!"

Billy huffs as your mom takes her leave and then he walks around the sofa, taking the spot your mom vacated. He's too close and you attempt to scoot over, but his hand on your knee stalls you. "Is the kiss really the reason why you pulled away?"

You exhale softly. "Yeah." Billy doesn't say anything and your gaze stays on his hand that's still on your knee. "I'm sorry. I made it weird and I'm trying not to be, but you're apparently too impatient to let me-"

"Did you ever stop to think that maybe I like you too?" His words are quiet, almost too quiet, and they make your heart speed up. "I've never kept a female around that I didn't attempt to hook up with, but you? You were different. You are different which is why I tested the waters with that kiss." You finally meet his gaze and you're awed by his genuine expression.

"But you- you don't do relationships," you tell him. "I, unfortunately, do like you, but I won't risk what we have now for a quick hookup." Billy huffs, lips twitching, and you set aside your drink in order to grab Billy's hand on your knee. "I didn't enter this friendship with the intent to catch feelings. I mean, I'm well aware of your reputation, but then you just had to go and show me a different side to you and-"

"I don't want a hookup." His words make you fall quiet and you gulp at his admission. Billy angles himself more towards you and you do the same. Then with his free hand, he tucks a few pieces of hair behind your ear. "You are the only girl to look past my car and the rumors other girls spread around the school. You spend time with me because you want to and not because you wanted to see whether or not those rumors were true. I never thought I'd ever entertain the idea of another relationship after I left California, but then here you are making me go absolutely insane trying to determine whether or not you're over your ex. I like you, but I don't want to be a rebound."

You gape at his honesty and your heart starts to beat faster when Billy starts to slowly smile. "I, uh, I don't want to be with Eddie. I actually want to be with you."

"Good. Then you're telling Max."

"Hey!"

Billy laughs at your betrayed expression, quickly leaning in to smooth things over with a kiss. You mentally berate yourself for melting into him so easily, following his lead as he slowly moves back and then squeaking when he pulls you into his lap.

With your knees on either side of his hips, you sit back on his thighs and attempt to catch your breath. His hands hold onto the curve of your hips and yours find purchase on his shoulders. "So we're really doing this, huh?"

"Yep."

"And you're not going to fuck me over?"

"I mean we're gonna have our disagreements; every relationship has them, but I can promise you that I won't cheat on you."

Sliding your hands from his shoulders to the sides of his neck, you lean forward so your forehead is resting against his. "If this thing between us ever fizzles out, you need to tell me. I rather you break my heart by actually breaking up with me rather than having to find out from someone else that you were seen with another girl."

"That ain't gonna happen, but okay."

"Billy.."

"Nuh uh. Not happening." He captures your lips with his, briefly stealing your words and breath away. "I won't be making that mistake."

"Okay. Whatever. Just shut up and kiss me."

Billy laughs and this time it's your turn to steal his breath away. You bite his bottom lip as your hands slide back into his hair, gripping the strands there at the base of his skull and pulling his head back. Billy groans and you smile as you let the tip of your tongue flick his bottom lip.

"Have I mentioned that Munson is really, really stupid?"

"Mhm. Couple of times." You seal your mouth over his once more, tongues sliding against one another as you intimately familiarize yourselves with one another.

You lose track of time and only remember you're out in the open when you hear the front door open. You're laid out along the sofa now, Billy on top of you with one of your knees hitched along his hip and one of his hands beneath your shirt. "Well at least you're not naked." The words make you and Billy instantly pull apart, both panting and heaving as you turn to see your mom looking far too amused. "Glad to see you worked whatever this is out, but Billy? Please stop defiling my daughter on the sofa I nap on."

Billy gapes as you break into a fit of embarrassed giggles, hands instantly covering your face. He's quick to get off of you and you hurriedly sit up to pass him a pillow for his lap. "Don't look so pale, Cali. She's not gonna murder you."

Billy watches your mom disappear into the kitchen. "You sure about that?"

"Yep. Mom knows I'm far too smart to give her grandbabies. If anything, she'll mercilessly tease me about our predicament after you leave."

Turning to look at you, he cracks a grin. "She's gonna love me, isn't she?"

"Unfortunately."

Billy barks out a laugh, shifting in his seat. "I've never had a girl's parent approve of me." His grin eases into a leering smirk. "This is going to be fun."

After your mom, Max is the next to know about the change in yours and Billy's relationship. She had looked at you like you were dumb, mentioned she knew it was only a matter of time, and then told you not to cry to her when Billy messed up. You thought she was mad about you dating him, but she proved you wrong when she treated you no differently afterward.

Your mom and Max had no problem about the shift between you and Billy, but you were nervous about what everyone else would say. You didn't care whether they liked it or not, but you did care whether or not they'd bring up his past or come to the conclusion that he was a rebound when he wasn't. You didn't feel like arguing with anyone.

The two of you have days to yourselves while you finish off your Christmas break, hanging out and going on dates after Billy gets out of work. You didn't run into anyone you knew during these nights out, so you know it's going to be a shock when the PDA moments make an appearance whether it be when he drops you off for school or picks you up.

The morning you return to school, you leave the car but not before chastely kissing your boyfriend. Max made a noise of disgust and dragged you away by the back of your shirt, and no one uttered a word throughout the entire school day. But the moment you walked up to Billy after the last bell had rung and he pulled you into his arms to kiss? Yeah, everyone lingering in the parking lot stared and you knew it was only a matter of time this new piece of information spread like wildfire.

Dustin, Lucas, and Mike were the only three to give you shit for dating Billy, but you merely let them say their peace before politely telling them to fuck off. You were unsure of where you stood with anyone associated with Hellfire, so you weren't going to let them talk shit about your new relationship after weeks of silence on their end.

The news of you and Billy dating lasts for weeks, and you surprise everyone with how happy you seem to be with him. In fact, you're able to finally acknowledge Eddie with a nod when you happen to catch each other's gaze in the cafeteria or hallways, you don't outright sneer at Chrissy when she tells you hello in class, and you outright laugh at Jason's attempts to get into your good graces all because you're dating Billy Hargrove.

You're content and more focused than ever to graduate.

And when you do finally walk the stage to collect your diploma, Billy is there with a bouquet of flowers standing with your mom and Max afterwards.

You take a few minutes to take pictures with your friends, even going as far as taking a picture with Eddie when his uncle Wayne spots you and asks for one. Eddie was nervous, hell you were too because you were unsure of what Billy would think, but your arm went around the back of his waist with ease and his around your shoulders. Wayne snapped the picture and you quietly congratulated Eddie on finally getting his diploma before making your way back towards Billy. Thankfully, he understood and merely pulled you under his arm so you could finally leave.

Days after graduation, you're boredly filling out job applications, unsure of what you want to do now. College was out of the question, you having agonized over assignments for years to want to put yourself through four or more years of it.

The front door opens and you glance at the archway to see who it is since Billy and Max had taken to just walking into your home unannounced.

It's your mom, however, who walks in. "Hey, hon."

"Hey, mom." You set your pen down and stretch in your seat. "What are you doing home early?"

"I decided to take a half day," she tells you. "I had some business at the bank I needed to take care of."

"Yeah? And what was that?"

"Your college funds." You look up at her, prepared for a lecture about your plans now that you're out of high school, but she surprises you by smiling and handing over an envelope. "Relax. I started it when I found out I was pregnant with you. I know you're not interested in more schooling, so I figure you could use the money to help you get started with the next stage of your life."

Opening the envelope, there's a bank card and a post-it note with the amount of money you apparently now own. Your eyes bulge at the number. "Holy shit. Are you just- you're really giving this to me?"

"Yes. It's yours. I'm trusting you to use it responsibly."

"Y-Yeah. Of course!"

You set the envelope aside and start filling out the rest of the job application you had been working on. Your mom gives you a moment before she asks, "You know you don't have to stay in Hawkins, right? I have a well paying job and I'm happy here. But you.. this is time for you to go out on your own and find your own thing."

You subtly gulp and slowly lower your pen once more, allowing your uneasiness to momentarily shine through. "But what if I fail?"

"Then you come back home and we'll take it from there."

You smile at your mom then, huffing a laugh as you get out of your seat and rush to hug her. "Love you."

"Love you too. Now get out of here and go find that boy of yours. I saw his car in the driveway and he seems like he's anxious to get out of Hawkins too. I wouldn't be surprised if he decides to follow you out of here."

Grabbing up your envelope, you put it inside a drawer for safekeeping before rushing to find some shoes. Though the second you exit your house, Billy is pulling up to the curb right outside. You laugh and chuckle as you jog up to the passenger door, opening it up and practically throwing yourself inside.

"Excited much?" Billy muses.

"Always." You lean across the seat, pecking his lips. Then settling back down, you ask, "Where are we going?"

"Everywhere."

You grin as Billy peels out, stretching your arm out the window and letting the air rush through your fingers. You love moments like this, the music playing at a decent level while Billy just drives. You don't feel the urge to make conversation and neither does he.

Billy eventually picks up speed on the backroads and you laugh as the wind whips your hair back and forth. He drives for what feels like hours, but really it's only minutes and he eventually pulls off near a park.

"So are you going to tell me why you're really excited?" He asks as he parks.

Turning in your seat, you grin and shrug. "Mom gave me what should have been my college tuition money."

"Oh yeah? Making plans to spend it already?"

"Kind of." You always knew Billy wanted to leave, but as of late he seemed content. And now that you think about it, he hasn't really mentioned leaving in quite a while. So with you wanting to leave, you're not sure how he's going to take it. "She, uh, she wants me to get out of Hawkins. She basically told me now is the time to do my own thing and have fun."

"And do you? Want to get out of Hawkins?" Billy clarifies.

"I do, but only if you come with me."

You chew on the corner of your bottom lip nervously, waiting for his reaction. Time crawls by slowly and then Billy is smirking at you. "As if I'd seriously let you go anywhere without me."

"Really?" You ask, hopefully.

"Yeah. You know I've been saving up for myself. I was just waiting for you to bring it up."

"Thank god." You laugh as you lean over the seat, kissing Billy once more and keeping it chaste since there are people out and about. "If we do this, all bills are fifty-fifty."

"Obviously."

"And both of us have to get jobs. We're not going to sit on our asses."

"I do love a working woman," he grins and you bark out a laugh.

"Is that why you flirted with all the housewives?"

"House wife," he corrects and you roll your eyes. "I only ever flirted with one. It's not my fault all the other housewives took me greeting them as flirting. I was just being a polite boy."

"Oh I'm sure you were." One more kiss and then you're settling back into your seat. "So where do you want to go?"

"Somewhere with a beach."

"I can work with the beach," you say. "Did you want to go back to California?"

"Yeah. I still have some connections over there, so I can make a few calls and see if there are any places available before we make the drive out there."

"I like the sound of that." You reach for his hand, intertwining your fingers. "You find the house and make sure it's actually affordable, and I'll start making a list of shit we're going to need. I'm sure my mom and a friend of hers can rent a moving truck to help us out."

Billy lifts your joined hands and kisses the back of yours. "We really doing this?"

"Hell yes we are."

The dimpled smile he flashes you is one of the most genuine smiles you've ever seen and it makes you mentally swoon just a little. Last year you had dreams of leaving with Eddie, but now you're making plans to leave with Billy Hargrove.

Not in a million years did you ever see anything happening between you and Hargrove, yet here you are happily plotting out the next step of your lives together.

Life truly is funny that way.