pdxcleaning

[theshelteredbrat]

I'm so done

I don't wanna take care of myself anymore

I don't want to feel anything anymore bc anything I do for some sense of happiness ends badly, makes me feel worse (mainly due to my parents)

But I can't even fucking cry when I try. When I really need to?

But I hate feeling numb so maybe pain will work?

And of course my parents are just sooooo supportive (sarcastic voice). My mom keeps saying things that are basically calling me fat and sluggish. My parents won't let me do shit. Then they get mad at me for so many small stupid things.

They hate whenever I listen to music which is basically my only outlet.

school is fun bc I put on a mask and tell bad jokes and trip over myself to make sure everyone's happy and I'm not hated.

Whenever someone's mad or sad I feel its my fault even tho ik it's not but I feel horrible. And whenever I do share my true feelings they'll either laugh and dismiss it (which happens most of the time) or they get super concerned and I feel like I'm acting out for attention.

And idk I usually regret posting shit like this bc people are always rlly concerned but its sweet considering yall care about me a lot more than most ik irl but plz don't waste ur time over me. Im an attention seeking bitch whos not worth ur time and is js venting

Church and youth group is just great bc God don't care about me. I believe he exists bc I swear he has a grudge against me but he don't bother about me. And I feel like I'm getting preached at whenever I go. But I love the people there and can't really not go to church bc of my parents

And home is just SO MANY FUCKING CHILDREN

Like wtf I'm the oldest, then I get three siblings, which is fine, i love them they're js rlly annoying. Then they get into foster care. Then they stop. Now they're adopting someone. Now they're taking in six boys.

And ik the home is supposed to be a safe space and that's great but I feel so out of place and unwanted and useless. I literally take up a room, a drawer in the bathroom, I eat food. I shower, I use electricity, and tons of money

And I can't get a moment of peace, its literally do this, do that, and chores is good for taking responsibility but like wtf. I feed 1-8 children, get half of them dressed, help with brushing hair and teeth. Now I have to help them learn to read. Help them do their homework. Take them on a walk. Change the diaper.

Wtf this is parenting stuff I shouldn't have to be doing this everyday. My mom doesn't even have a job, she just has two kids during the day and will have to pick kids up (we all go to the same school except for one who takes the bus) and I'm yelled at all the time for being incompetent? For not finding a mess to clean up in a room I haven't been in all day?

For not doing homework when I'd helped everyone else? For not having time to get myself ready bc I have to get kids ready? For not exercising when there's literally no time? For not reading when I don't have any freedom. For saying yes, for saying no, for not having anyextracurricular, for having one?

My mom yells at me that I don't talk to my family enough or spend enough time with them. Do you know how many times I've tried to tell a joke or a cool fact or something funny that happened at school and they yelled at me to be quiet? How many times I've tried to tell them about my friends or a project at school or a new interest I've picked up to be insulted by them? They never fail to point out some flaw or traits that they don't like. How I didn't do something correctly.

Do you know how badly I've wanted to hear "I'm proud of you" in a nondissmissive way? From my family? I heard that from a teacher once in my life. Best memory ever.

I'm so fucking useless and unwanted and numb and tbh i deserve the pain and suffering of life. The mask at school and youth group may crumble and hopefully they'll dismiss me but they almost might get rlly concerned and ill js be the attention seeking bitch like I always am.

Oh God please ignore me. Don't be concerned. Don't waste your time on me. I'm js being a dumb little teen. Sorry if you read that all

[allwormdiet]

Sentinel 9.3

Y'know, the irony here is that as I'm writing this post I've just started an online course with video lectures.

Solid bit of establishing characterization, an easy display of people's emotional ties and states.

Parahuman science must be so fucking hard to work with, honestly. Your subject matter is made up of a bunch of people with trauma-activated abilities that actively defy physics or other laws of reality, combination of psychology and whatever the hell you call studying outliers in how the fucking universe works.

Also glad people aren't just content to let the matter of parahuman origins end at "they just started happening." I know they haven't cracked the how or why of it in thirty years but I also know they crack it some time in the next two-ish years of canon, which should be interesting.

Also also, the inclination towards combat and conflict is... I know it's not going to be a long time until we talk about the "why" of that one either, but when we do I have notes for the designer(s) on these things

Oh, okay, so trigger events are talked about in a 100-level course, and Taylor straight up didn't know about them. Interesting? She really didn't give that much of a shit about cape stuff before stumbling into the life of a supervillain, huh.

Correlation between physical trauma -> physical powers and psychological trauma -> mental powers is interesting as well, although that leaves plenty of room for the edge cases. Glory Girl is actually the prime example there, too, brute and mover seem like the obvious tags but that doesn't cover the aura, which is I guess master? I'm less and less convinced that it was really just a foul in basketball that made her trigger tbh.

Also: I cannot even fucking imagine what the studies must be like about the New Wave families. Imagine writing your fucking thesis on the Dallon-Pelham Torment Nexus. Imagine being Victoria, Amy, Crystal, or Eric, and your family is being taught about in classes because of how "good" it is at inflicting superpowers on you. No I will not entertain the idea that either family is normal, parahuman psychology has so far shown zero signs of being healthy for anybody and it's not going to start holding back when it comes to child-rearing.

I'm not unsympathetic to what Clockblocker is stewing over, but the PRT can't let these kids dedicate every waking hour to crisis management; there will be a day where they're not dealing with a drowned city, and they might as well get ready for it now, and take time off from trudging through muck and mayhem as they do it.

Narrowing my eyes at the witch burning thing but I'm not going to harp on whatever the hell's going on there.

I think the gender divide makes sense but I don't know if it holds totally consistent in-story; the pre-Leviathan Wards and Protectorate ENE definitely leaned more male than female in its numbers, Merchants and ABB are two men to one woman, Empire is... eight men to seven women I think? I think as of right now the only teams we have that even have more women than men are Undersiders, Travelers, Faultline, and New Wave.

This is probably more math than I should be doing but whatever, don't use math in your story if you don't want someone checking it.

That's the same thing as Circus, right? Interesting that it's a known phenomenon.

He's doing his best, be nice.

Bunch of people are gonna be really annoyed when it turns out where powers come from because there's no way they could predict it from where they're standing.

Hwoof.

Oh, so that's Clockblocker's trigger event and power explained all at once, isn't it? I don't know if it's stated explicitly but "buying time in every way except for the one that matters the most to you" sounds like the kind of monkey's paw shit that powers love to do.

Now see, there's an interesting dilemma, isn't it. Family teams are all well and good (allegedly, given how parahumans work) but the moment one or more members die all of a sudden it's that much more fucked up for everybody. Even if the team persists past losing Manpower and Shielder there's no way they're gonna hold together after Amy & Vicky's Nightmare Extravaganza. One of the most notable independent teams in the setting with over a decade of experience, and in the span of a few months they're going from apex to nonexistence. I don't really have it in me to weep for the adults, see above suspicions about Torment Nexus, but I feel awful for the kids. Crystal is gonna be the last one standing until, what, Ward? That's gotta fuck you up good. Poor fucking girl.

And then the portraits. Hoo boy.

The portraits thing feels. I dunno. Do you have to put them right next to the other members? That feels like a really good way to get your underage parahumans even more fucked up about mortality if I'm being honest.

This is touching. Also fuck cancer.

Exactly what the Wards need, less open communication.

This is a hard conversation to have in a lot of ways. Weld is fumbling but he's trying, and the rest of the team needs to meet him in the middle for things to work out.

And. Ugh. I see an unfortunate side of myself in Clockblocker here. I've got an awful habit of going for low blows in an argument if I'm feeling low enough. I get mean, I say things just to make it hurt. I haven't done it in a long time, but it's still a thing I have done and can do if I don't watch it. With this at least it's an accident, or at least the extent of harm Clockblocker is doing is way beyond what he intended.

Clockblocker has the sense to fear Glory Girl in this moment, and she has the grace to forgive him.

And that's proof of who Clockblocker is when he's not at his worst. When he's not lashing out because of the active fucking wringer he's being shoved through, he's obviously thoughtful and kind; the lashing out is, uhh, understandable, but still a problem.

She's just a kid...

I talked about this with some folks on Discord, it's kind of remarkable to me that a guy with literal empathy powers couldn't hold a steady relationship with a single girl. I'm sure parahuman romance is its own special kind of fraught, but that's a little silly.

That said, it sounds like Gallant was good people.

This is very funny though

Oh hey, we have anger and futility coming back together again, haven't seen that for a minute.

Honestly I feel like the ones who try to be funny are usually the ones who've got so much shit going on in the background, anger is the least surprising thing to come from the team's designated funny one.

Good on Dennis for realizing how easy it is to use anger and how hard it can be to let go of it. Shit sucks.

Wuh oh.

This is gruesome, and a harbinger of things to come. Oh boy.

Fuck were the Travelers even doing here, anyhow?

Also crazy bold of the Wards to try and pick this fight. The Travelers have such outrageous firepower, I don't think there'd be much sense in picking this fight.

Skimming back through the fight, not a whole lot for me to say? I'm not super invested in it, I guess, it feels like there's exceptionally little actually riding on this fight. The Travelers want to fuck off and the Wards want to stop them from fucking off, the gallery fight had more meat than this.

"Oh thank god, a conflict I can throw myself into to feel useful and offset all the negative feelings that not fighting has left me stricken with."

That's not a criticism of Clockblocker by the way, if anything I'm just staring at the thing brought up earlier this chapter where most parahumans are driven into fighting each other and suspecting something of a connection.

Current Thoughts

I see some of my younger self in Clockblocker, which is ironic bc I actually had a superhero OC back in high school named Clockblock (his powers were a lot broader and his thing was more about struggling with overwhelming ennui in the face of his own significance in the grand scale of Time Itself). I hope he manages to get over that anger and hurt, but he's a parahuman, so I kinda doubt it.

Kid Win next, plus further plot developments.

[nottoxicfr]

Hi. so this is probs gonna be a long ask which i apologize for bc i'm a complete stranger LOL but i've been thinking about your dragon install concept since i saw it last night and i wanted to give you my full opinions on it bc i didn't want to blast your notifs with a wall of text in tags

so, for my personal thoughts (because i definitely think we have overlapping interests here esp since you brought up burning godzilla as an inspiration in that post and godzilla vs destoroyah is one of my favorite movies), i think if i were going to draft a scenario where sol is taken over by the FoC, i'd definitely lean into a more biological feeling, if that makes sense. my main hooks for this thought process are 1. while i can't speak on sin devil trigger bc i haven't played any devil may cry games, that is sort of what burning godzilla had going for it (and godzilla as a series hasn't been adverse to leaning into a more body horror adjacent focus with the king of the monsters, ie with shin godzilla) and 2. i think it makes a really interesting thematic parallel to justice. because obviously justice is like, she isn't a machine strictly but she does have a distinct bio-mechanical element to her, so i think its interesting to make a full gear sol go in the opposite direction and have a more visceral element to his design, if all that makes sense

if this comes off as like, rude or unsolicited at all i do sincerely apologize ^-^; bc i do like your concept a lot! i just have a lot of thoughts on this particular topic and i'm excited to see someone who's as interested in dragon install stuff as i am. peace up

Hey there! I don't get asks very often, so I'm pretty happy to be able to answer any of them.

I think you're right about a Full Gear Sol Badguy needing to lean into the biological features to contrast against Justice being so heavily bio-mechanically designed. She's a big Evangelion (which features beasts being bound in armor) reference in Xrd, whereas I think Sol should be something more like Godzilla or maybe Ultraman. A Kaiju, but depending on the circumstance I think he'd be designed with a more severe sense of horror (if he's a villain) or something a little more subtle (if he's still Sol). Either way, I think he leans into his Overture Dragon Install! Sort of like what you might get if you were to try and design an apex predator.

In the situation where Frederick becomes Justice, or whatever name you'd call him, I would think of a design that suggests that the fire is burning him from the inside out, which I guess is sort of body horror-esque? It would be inflicting a constant pain on his body, which would only serve to make him a more aggressive Command Gear, alongside being possessed by the Pope and blowing up Japan.

I did actually do a Sol-Justice swap once. I tried to make him look like a furnace being overrun by fire! His arms were made of fire. There's parts of that present in the Kaiju Sol too, because I have a tendency to design Sol's more monstrous forms like a physical shell being overwhelmed by its contents!

Admittedly, I'm not a Sol expert. Still, for someone like Sol who strives to keep his innards really far from the surface, something like that would be terrifying to experience. It's more important to be scary to him than it is to the "audience," I think.

"The Flame of Corruption exceeds even this physical vessel," is the description I think I used to describe the way fire explodes out of him, rather than just burning like a Charizard. Though, I should clarify and say the design isn't necessarily caused by the FoC overrunning Sol Badguy's human soul. He's still Frederick/Sol! He's just very on fire.

If I think about the Flame of Corruption as a sentient force influencing Frederick, then I think that the overlay of them would probably affect his psyche. However, if he keeps a cool head, then he'd be able to manage the form.

The design was influenced by the Kaiju fights in FFXVI, specifically Ifrit. At one point he fights a mountain! I thought to myself, "I wish Sol could have fought that giant form of Justice like that." I'd recommend looking up the fight, if you aren't saving the game for later. It's super cool, and if you like Dragon Installs, I think you'll see where the design comes from.

I really want a Guilty Gear Action Game while ArcSys is focusing on GG's franchise growth.

I'm glad to find people who enjoy Dragon Install! All my designs featuring Dragon Install designs do particularly well, so it's good to know we aren't alone.

Thank you for the ask!

[mtreebeardiles]

A snippet! For SUNDAY! Hokay, let’s see…

Tagged by @muffinsandsweets (hi there!) and to prove that I am definitely thinking about my mreyder long fic I will provide PROOF of the chapter I should really finish one of these days eh

Tagging anyone who wants to participate ☺️

"So on a scale from one to royally fucked, how bad do you think our reception is gonna be?"

The question was rhetorical, one he didn't expect SAM to answer let alone consider, but the words had been weighing heavy on his chest ever since they'd gotten back onto the Tempest. So much had been riding on Khi Tasira actually being Meridian and discovering that it wasn't…

Well. 

He wasn't sure what the Director was going to do, exactly, but he didn't doubt Tann would find some way to punish him. Publicly? Privately? Strip him of his tenuous rank, or find some other way to pen him in? There wasn't much the Salarian could do about SAM's connection to Scott but that didn't mean he wouldn't try to order some research into how to tear them apart, pass the mantle on to someone he could bring to heel. 

I won't let that happen, Scott.

We might not have a choice here, Big Guy. 

Other factors to consider, too, like the mysterious "Benefactor" mentioned in his father's memories. He wished there was some way to jump start the rest of them, unlock them deliberately to give him some actual fucking direction, but the trigger method was as random as ever. No rhyme or reason for all they were coming more frequently these days, and Scott wasn't sure if that was because he was mentally where the blocks felt he needed to be or if that domicile back on Kadara had caused it. 

Speaking of… He chewed a thumbnail, turning on his heel and striding back to the other side of his quarters. SAM, how's our uh… special package doing?

It is en route to Kadara, Scott. I estimate it should be docking by the time we reach the Nexus.

No issues from the Scourge?

Some, the AI admitted, but it is not without shielding, and I was able to cloak some of the signals. It should make it to its destination relatively intact. 

Scott huffed out a breath at that, feeling his shoulders relax a touch. At least something had gone right back there. Something he had no intention of sharing with anyone aside from SAM and Reyes, of course, but still. 

Worse comes to worse we could always go pirate. 

An idle fantasy, so far-fetched from the reality of space piracy that he had to laugh at an imagination better suited to the boy he'd been than the man he was. He'd encountered plenty of real-life pirates back on Arcturus and the grim truth had stripped the veneer of excitement right off all those holo-vids he'd watched as a kid. 

Shame, he thought, pacing the other direction, Reyes already has the swagger down. 

Scott, your breathing is elevated.

"I know," he whispered aloud. Shaking fingers snaked through his hair and he made an effort to measure his breaths, counting the inhales and exhales the way he'd been taught. "I'll be alright."

Will you, though? You fucked up, just like you always fuck up, only this time its gonna cause a bunch of people grief. His team, the science team, the other Pathfinders and their teams… 

"Fuck."

"Scott?"

He didn't respond, his pacing picking up in speed. Any hopes of establishing an independent entity with the Pathfinders were probably toast, too, after this little stunt. He'd just been so fucking sure… 

He ran a hand over his face, coming to a stop. Breathe in, breathe out. There was nothing he could do about any of it right now, and sliding deeper into a panic wasn't going to help anyone.

Easier said than done. 

"Scott?"

"Yeah, SAM?"

"Suvi wishes to speak with you on the bridge," the AI intoned. "She has an idea."

[hesbuckcompton-baby]

Just Come Home - Ronald Speirs x OFC - Chapter 1

Summary: Whilst out on patrol in a village near Haguenau, Ronald Speirs encounters a young American woman named Valerie, working with the French Resistance. What he doesn't know is that, as far as her family is concerned, Val has been dead for almost four years.

Warnings: Language, brief mentions of death/trauma (nothing too extreme)

Word Count: 2.8k

Tags: Please let me know if you'd like to be tagged in future instalments 😊

-

The sky hung dull, grey, wisps of clouds drifting slowly and casting faint shadows on the ground below. The dirt roads had been churned up with mud, half-melted snow piling up in various places and resting unobscured on doorsteps that should've been frequently trafficked.

Ron's gun felt relaxed, comfortable upon his gloved palms, balanced against cold fingertips as he slowly paced the street, keen eyes watching the men under his command as they patrolled in and out of nearby houses. Snow had begun to fall again in soft flakes, carried haphazardly on the breeze and occasionally settling in the wool of his scarf. The tyre tracks before him were thick, fresh, and he suspected that they'd missed their enemy by no more than an hour or two.

He couldn't deny being unsettled by how quiet it was. Even for a man so jaded by the ferocity of war, a place so absent and lifeless when it should be anything but was enough to chill anyone. Ron watched on as the men crossed from building to building, Liebgott and Malarkey entering a small house nearby, its roof crooked, and walls painted with white, which appeared dull against the dreary sky.

It was silent for a moment. He glanced back over his shoulder, barely having time to take a full breath before Malarkey was rushing out in front of him.

"Sir!" He yelled. "Sir, we need you inside!"

Ron wasn't much of a one to be told when and where he was needed, especially by men under his own command, but the urgency in Malarkey's voice was alarming. Hurrying in after him, finger poised on the trigger of his gun, he hesitated in the doorway, taking in the scene.

The room was mostly bare - unswept wooden floor littered with dust, dead grass, and mud that had been tracked in and out. The walls were just as bare and white as they were on the outside, and the only window has been covered with what appeared to be a page out of a newspaper. A small table stood in the middle of the floor, next to which a chair had been knocked over, and stood over the whole scene was a woman.

Her hair was dark, unwashed and unkempt, and her face was drawn slightly with exhaustion. The clothes on her back were not her own, evident from the way her shirt hung loosely around the shoulders, clearly tailored for a man of much broader build than she. The boots on her feet were German. As was the luger in her hand, which she aimed unwaveringly at Liebgott, who was pointing his gun right back.

"Woah," Ron spoke, hand raised slightly as he stepped further inside. "I'm gonna need you to lower that gun," He instructed, attempting to mime the words, as he doubted that someone all the way out here would speak English.

"Tell him to drop his. Before I make him." She said. Her tone was cold, strong, and she spoke in perfectly accented American English.

He didn't miss the look shared between Liebgott and Malarkey, one of confusion and hesitation, and Ron was sure that there was probably a flicker of surprise in his own expression too.

"Put the gun down, Liebgott," He ordered, his gaze never leaving her. Her eyes were cold, tired, and she stood entirely undeterred. There was something impressive about it, really.

He heard the click of Liebgott's rifle as he let his arms go limp, all three of the men still staring her down as if expecting her to waver under their gaze. She hesitated for a moment before lowering her pistol, sliding it hazardously into her belt.

"They're gone then?" She asked.

Malarkey's brow furrowed a little. "Who?"

"The Nazis," She scoffed.

"Right. Yeah."

The woman appeared almost disappointed by this news, and Ron's frown only deepened further.

"They fuckin' left me behind, goddammit," She muttered, turning away from them briefly, her shoulders slumped. "Come work for the resistance, Val, it's a real treat,"

Val.

"You're resistance?" Ron asked, glancing from her boots to her gun, which were both obviously stolen, now that he thought about it.

"...Yeah."

He nodded slowly, pointing to the other men. "You two carry on with your sweep, off you go."

Malarkey and Liebgott seemed reluctant to leave, both clearly intrigued by this woman, a feeling which Ron certainly understood at present. When they were both gone, she finally looked him in the eye, clearly expectant.

-

Val stared almost blankly at the man before her, unsure if she should be more or less at ease now that they were alone. There were dark circles under his eyes, stubble lining his chin and snowflakes resting on his scarf. He'd slung his gun back over his shoulder, which she supposed was a good sign. The men's American accents had felt foreign to her, even though they mimicked her own, a fact that unnerved her.

"So, Val, that's your name right?" He asked, leaning back against the opposite wall.

She frowned slightly. "That's right."

"And you're American,"

She nodded.

The soldier frowned now too. "What're you doing here?"

Val looked away, passing her weight from foot to foot anxiously. She didn't want to talk about that. She didn't want to reminisce about the darkest days of her life to some stranger with a rifle.

Evidently, he took the hint. "Alright," He sighed. "You say you got left behind? By the resistance?"

She nodded slowly. "They told me they'd come back to get me when the Nazis cleared out. Although I probably shouldn't be too mad... they could be dead."

The soldier took off his helmet, tilting his head slightly in an effort to grab her eyes. It was odd. He looked inhospitable, professional, like a drill sergeant with too much experience. He looked like a soldier. And yet, he seemed to be making a real effort to understand her. She looked back at him.

"Look," He said. "My company's set up not far from here. I could get you a bed in town, and try to sort something out."

She thought about this, staring back at him as he awaited her response, beginning to gnaw at the inside of her lip. What if the resistance was on their way back for her right now? They could be here in an hour if she just bothered to wait. But then again, she'd always been an outsider amongst them, a foreigner fighting a private battle for a country that wasn't hers. Maybe with the soldier stood before her, there were better chances. Maybe she could go home.

"Ok, yeah," Val nodded. "I'll come,"

The soldier had gestured for her to follow him, and as they left the house he called to his men, who began to swarm out of nearby buildings and alleys. She didn't miss the strange looks that the men gave her as they passed, she'd had to have been a fool to expect that they wouldn't. Of course she looked strange.

-

Val followed by him as they made their way back towards town, and Ron found himself frequently glancing at her. He told himself that he was just making sure she was still there, but she had struck a burning curiosity in him that hadn't been lessened in any way during their brief encounter.

She walked alongside him, keeping pace with an awkward gap between them.

He spoke up again. "Can I call you Val?"

She looked over at him. "...Alright."

"I'm Ron. Speirs."

"Hi, Ron," Val said, and he could've sworn he saw a hint of a smile on her lips. For now, that was enough.

He hadn't quite figured out what he was going to say to Winters or Nixon when they got back. Ron had a knack for spitballing, speaking with an air that suggested that everything he said had been pre-planned and refined, when in fact almost everything was coming right off the top of his head. But this one was going to be difficult to explain, even for him.

-

She hadn't realised how close she'd been to Haguenau all this time. Her comrades had talked of it frequently with a sense of faraway, unattainable-ness - and without a map or much knowledge of French geography anywhere outside of Paris, Val had remained none the wiser. Nevertheless, it hadn't taken much more than twenty minutes to reach the commune, and she was now posted behind a closed door outside a small office, men's voices inside muffled and indistinct.

Val looked up with a start as the door opened jerkily, eyes meeting Ron's as he gestured for her to come in. There were two other men inside, and he introduced them quickly.

"Captain Winters, Captain Nixon," He said. She nodded to them both and was about to speak when Nixon interrupted her.

"Holy shit," He blurted.

"What?" Winters asked, but he didn't seem to notice him, eyes firmly fixed on Val.

"Val... Harmon?" He asked, standing up from his seat to step slightly closer.

"Yes," She nodded, brow furrowed with confusion at how this man seemed to know who she was. Although strangely enough, something in him was familiar to her.

"Aw, shit," Nixon sighed. "This one's gonna be hard to explain to your folks."

Ron spoke up from behind her. "What does that mean?"

"You're dead. At least, everyone thinks you are. My mom knows your folks, we went down to Vermont for the funeral in '41..."

Her mouth fell open slightly, but no words came out. She could feel Ron staring at her, his eyes burrowing into the side of her head.

Nixon reached for a pen. "I'll try to contact your family as soon as I can, let them know that-"

"No." Val suddenly interrupted. All three men looked to her now, expressions bearing equal confusion. "Not yet. I'm not... I haven't been home in a long time."

Winters spoke up now. "We understand. You can wait until you're ready, they'll be a bed for you with us until then."

Her eyes softened. She hadn't expected such kindness. "Thank you, sir," She said earnestly.

He smiled. "Of course. You're welcome to go and clean yourself up and get comfortable, just make sure you're careful on the streets."

"Will do."

-

Ron couldn't understand it. How could Val not want to tell her family she was alive? He couldn't bear the thought of his mother sat at home grieving his loss, and she was refusing the power to remedy all of that pain, refusing the chance to go home, something any man here would give their left leg for.

It had been just over an hour since their meeting with the Captain, soon after which he'd lost sight of her, as she'd run off on her own in search of a shower and any food she could scrounge. But now, entering the building he was posted in, the sight laid out surprised him.

Val was propped up in a rickety-looking chair, sat quietly beside the sofa Lipton had stretched himself out along. Her hair was damp from her shower, and every now and then he would hold out his hand to offer up a biscuit. The two of them were speaking softly, small talk mostly, but it seemed surprisingly pleasant. Whenever it was Val's turn to speak, she looked up from the book open in her lap, which appeared to be a rather battered biography of Claude Monet, written entirely in faded French.

Ron paused in the doorway, observing them for a moment. She seemed far more at ease now, occasionally even letting out a chuckle at something Lipton said. It was a sound that made him feel unreasonably light coming from a woman he'd met not two hours ago, but he enjoyed it nonetheless.

Her laugh cut short when she noticed him standing there, her posture straightening slightly, and for a moment he regretted coming in at all.

No. He was a Captain. He could go where he liked.

"You feeling any better, Lieutenant?" Ron asked, wandering further into the room.

Lipton sat up slightly, glancing at Val for a moment before looking back at Speirs. "Much better, sir, thank you."

"Good," He nodded sharply. He could see her get up from her seat in his peripherals, crossing the room to a half-empty bookshelf behind him.

"Found you a room, Harmon," Ron stated, turning towards her. She frowned. ' 'Can I call you Val?', my ass' he imagined her thinking. It seemed like something she'd say.

"Alright, thanks," Val smiled slightly, following him as he made towards the stairs.

Her room was up in a high corner of the building, sparse and narrow, with a slightly fragile-looking bed. In all honesty, Ron felt slightly guilty about posting her there, but he knew she'd prefer to sleep alone.

She reached down to fix her blankets, attempting with limited success to fluff her pillow. "You didn't tell me you were the boss around here," She said inquisitively, looking up at him through the corner of her eye.

Damn Lipton. Always so friendly.

Ron shrugged "I'm in charge of the Company. Winters and Nixon oversee the Battalion though,"

Val smiled. "I don't know what that means, Ron."

"Well, you're not army, so I suppose it's not important."

She stood up straight, smirking, challenging him. "Would you rather I call you Sir?"

Ron chuckled faintly. "No."

Val grinned, the frame of her bed creaking as she sat down on it weightily. He crossed past her to the window on the opposite wall, staring silently for a moment at the war-torn street below. It felt strange, really. After all this time fighting, being around someone to whom rank didn't matter. To whom he was just... Ron.

It didn't seem quite right, feeling like that with someone he didn't know at all. Someone whose decisions seemed irrational and whose motives were shrouded in mystery and hurt.

Neither of them said anything for a while, the sound of breathing and the occasional creak of floorboards all that filled the air. There was so much Ron wanted to ask, so much he wanted to make her say. What had she been doing in that village, how had she ended up all the way out here? And more importantly, why did she seem so reluctant to leave?

He had all the words, had them practically rolling off the tip of his tongue as he turned away from the window.

But then he saw her.

In this light, the dark circles beneath her eyes were like pools of bruise-coloured water, her face freely downcast with utter exhaustion the moment she thought she was unobserved. Her shoulders were slumping forward, hands limp and crumpled in her lap as she stared blankly at the floor.

In her face, he saw all the harrowed tiredness that had plagued his men ever since Bastogne, and he knew that, whatever the answers to his questions may be, they weren't going to come easily.

"Get some rest," Ron said, avoiding eye contact as Val's face tilted slightly up at him when he walked past. "That's an order."

Her mouth tilted up at one side in an exhausted smile. "Sure thing, Captain Speirs,"

Ron shook his head slightly, hazarding a glance to make sure she was getting into bed, before closing the door behind him. He was halfway down the hall when he heard the scrape of a chair against exposed floor, the thud of wood against wood, and the rattle of a jostled door handle. He frowned, picturing the barricade he now knew she'd built, isolating herself in a desperate attempt to feel safe and able to rest.

His mind was clouded as he descended the stairs, and when he reached the bottom, Lipton was still sat on that threadbare couch, looking up as Ron entered the room.

"Sir," He greeted politely. Ron shook his head slightly, taking a seat across from him.

"Did she, uh, tell you... anything?" He asked.

Lipton frowned. "Sir?"

"About where she came from, what she's been doing."

"I know she's from Vermont, but she didn't talk about it much. She mentioned having been to Paris... really it was mostly small talk, Sir. About the food and the showers, y'know."

Ron nodded slowly, chin resting on balled fists with his elbows resting on his knees.

"She seems nice, though," Lipton added. "Tired, but nice. Smart, too."

"Right," He murmured, brow furrowed in thought. It was quiet for a moment before Ron took a deep breath, huffing as she stood up from his chair. "Thanks, Lieutenant," He said, patting Lipton's shoulder gratefully.

Lip smiled, his mouth quirked up on one side. Ron made to leave, but Lipton spoke again, making him falter.

"I don't think you should pry, Sir," He called. "I think we'd better take her as she is, let her talk when she's ready."

Ron looked back at him for a moment, regarding these words. "Yeah... I think you're right."

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

What are the major details that confused you about the Hound blurb? The major one that stood put to me was the "way of the farmer opposed to the sword" thing which felt very...un-Cú Chulainn. Also, if you don't mind expanding further, which details didn't you question/be confused by?

and also for anon:

okay so it is like. 2am so there are not going to be any sources here but i can't sleep so here goes!! i will go through this blurb line by line and give youse my thoughts

In 50 BCE,

reasonable. this is roughly the right time period for when the ulster cycle is set. maybe marginally earlier than i'd place cú chulainn, but i'm talking a few years, nothing to get worked up about.

Morrigan, the goddess of war,

fine. normally i'm wary of pantheonising impulses with regard to irish characters (almost none of them can be identified as a god of anything in particular, it doesn't work like that) but tbh the morrigan is like, the most plausible exception to that, so whatever. normally her name has the definite article attached to it because it's kind of a species term as well but whatevs.

has become restless as a long-lasting peace settles over Ireland.

dubious. closest i can think of to peace being reference in any texts is togail bruidne da derga talking about conaire mor's reign being like, prosperous and peaceful and whatever, and even there you've got díberg (plundering/reaving) which is what eventually fucks him over and starts the otherworldly hell spiral situation. that's roughly the right period here but conaire's doom proves you don't have to do much to nudge peace into war, and connacht and ulster are at each other's throats for years before cú chulainn comes on the scene anyway

Deciding the time of peace must end, she chooses Setanta, the nephew of the king of the north, to become her ward.

hmm. i mean. like, this isn't the WEIRDEST choice they could have made. it's still completely made-up, don't get me wrong -- cú chulainn has a lot of different foster parents in different texts and they don't agree with each other but none of them ever mentions the morrígan. but like, they do have a connection of some sort, as evidenced by their conversations. and there's that one moment in the r1 boyhood deeds where little cú chulainn is out on the battlefield and hears her (not sure which name is used here) calling out to him and it like. motivates him to do some deeds or whatever, and i guess you could extrapolate that into some kind of teaching capacity.

so like. could be weirder. if you're gonna pick anyone, you could do worse. still seems weird to me! but not on its own a major issue, i could get past this and consider it a Fun But Unorthodox Creative Decision

(the fact that she tries to seduce him in the táin probably wouldn't get in the way of this considering sleeping with his teachers/foster-mothers is far from unheard of where cú chulainn is concerned)

After a young Setanta slays the demon-hound of Cullan, he becomes known as Cú Cullan—The Hound of Cullan.

weird spelling choices, they could have at least bothered to use the genitive properly. also the hound isn't a demon, it's a ferocious watchdog -- making it sound all Otherworldly and Hellish like this kinda confuses the issue of why he would need to take its place. he needs to take its place because the cattle and people still need protecting because it is a watchdog!! but whatevs, again, it's a brief summary so they can't exactly give us all the details and this is not actively objectionable

As Cú Cullan grows older, it is apparent that an extraordinary power lies within him … and a great darkness.

ugh boring. this makes it sound like he's going to be ~tortured~ and angsty about it. give me an unapologetic murder teen please. is the ríastrad dark? sure i guess, if you're going to be boring about it. it's more like, grotesque neon in my head

When he chooses the quiet life of a farmer over the sword,

this would fucking never happen on like five different levels. obviously like anyone who has ever read anything about cú chulainn can see that this is not in his nature. he is never going to choose a quiet life. this is the kid who tricked his way into taking arms before everyone thought he was ready. also juxtaposed with the "darkness" comment makes it sound like he would Angst his way into this quiet life which. again. have you seen this kid. he is an unapologetic murder teen

the only thing i can think of that might make him temporarily want to walk away is connla's death which... depends where you position that in the timeline really, he does seem a bit fucked up by it and maybe he'd want a holiday although i can see that lasting precisely 5 minutes before someone pissed him off enough for him to murder them. but if he's being raised by the morrígan i can't see him going to train with scáthach so then he'd never meet aífe and therefore connla would never be born so that wouldn't happen. so like. whatever.

but also like. he would not become a farmer. he just wouldn't! it doesn't work! the ireland of the stories is super hierarchical, right? and this blurb has already fucking told us that he's the king's nephew (canon) so we can tell that being a farmer is Not His Place. when we see upper class figures becoming menial labourers in texts, like in cath maige tuired, it's because Things Are Fucked, Shit's Gone Wrong. people don't just decide to change their entire social class on a whim lmfao

if cú chulainn really wanted to turn his back on being a warrior he could probably make recourse to certain other Suitable Professions ... his grandad's a druid so he might have a route into that, though his dad's not so that might fuck things up a bit bc it's one of those things that's usually inherited. he does give "wisdom" in at least one text though and we also know he can write (he carves riddles in ogham in the táin) and he composes verses on various occasions so idk, maybe something in a poetic direction, though again, usually requires two generations of inheritance to be a real poet and not just a lower-class bard. warrior's kinda the main thing he's got open to him tbh. but farming? i'm not a legal expert but as far as i'm aware based on what i have read, that would fuck shit up

more likely an upset cú chulainn would just go off in search of an adventure somewhere conveniently far away until he'd calmed down (alba, or the tyrrhenian sea, or -- if we're going to get early modern about it -- somewhere like india, which frequently gets thrown into the texts with absolutely no cultural context and it's always hilarious)

Morrigan, angry at the betrayal,

of the entire social order, yes,

instigates an invasion of his homeland

i mean. if they intend this to be the táin then.... táin bó regamna does kinda make the morrígan responsible for it? not in the sense of triggering the pillow talk argument that it's in the book of leinster -- it's her getting up to her usual cow-nicking behaviours for shits and giggles. [note to readers: it is probably for more than shits and giggles but did i mention it's 2am]

but all in all, not particularly out of character that she would be at least some way responsible for this so i can vibe with this. echtra nerai also supports the TBR explanation with her fucking around with otherworldly cows and pissing people off so, yeah, whatever. the morrígan engineered this. sure.

and Cú Cullan must challenge fate itself

this is probably a controversial stance but fate feels like a difficult concept to apply to medieval irish texts. like are people sometimes Doomed? yes. there are prophecies, there are gessi, there's all manner of otherworldly fuckery that can trip you up. is that the same thing as fate? no idea. considering cú chulainn comes out alive from the táin though and his doom prophecies don't catch up to him for like, at least another decade, maybe 16 years depending on who you listen to, hard to see how that would apply here

to keep the goddess at bay.

again like she IS causing fuckery in the táin but also it's like... one time. really not the main character. but she or maybe just some crows, hard to say, do get implicated in the death tale so maybe they're doing what people often do and conflating the two? even though there's like 10-16 years in between them?

anyway as you can see i don’t think it’s wholly terrible / i’m not completely thinkshaming it. like, having cú chulainn raised by the morrígan is unorthodox but it could be a fun and creative direction so i don't object to it. making cú chulainn get sad about murder and choose to be a farmer is just fucking laughable tho, and makes me doubt their characterisations in general. so that's offputting and would probably make me think twice about buying it, if that had ever been on the cards.*

and of course sure, their cú chulainn can be a Sad Boy Who Likes Sheep, but that means he's not the cú chulainn of medieval irish lit / irish myth, because that cú chulainn is a feral murder teen who keeps killing his friends and also is way too high social status to ever be a farmer, and whose only relationship to livestock is as the watchdog who kills anyone trying to harm them (which is an important role on a farm! but like. not the same thing as Being A Farmer. mostly because it involves more murder and is essentially just an extension of his role as a warrior. or rather the other way around. he promises to protect mag muirthemne as a watchdog and this like. gets extended into him becoming its sole defender)

this has been my analysis of this blurb i hope you enjoyed it

it's now 2.30am i should try and sleep now that i've exorcised a few thoughts from my head

*as i mentioned in the tags of my other post, i don't tend to read graphic novels due to disability stuff. they're much harder for me to understand and follow than prose, to the point where some are incomprehensible, so i don't really enjoy them. there are a few i've read, but they tend to be short ones, and i'm usually not reading them in order, just admiring the art separately from the text. so it's unlikely i would read a graphic novel of this size anyway.

[im-pok]

Just for fun (and to make these easier to find) I have made a compilation of JSRF quotes!

I did find the quotes from this video by RisingSonic17 on YouTube. I do suggest watching it as it gives more context to the lines:

Keep in mind that some interactions may be missing, as I have never played JSRF and may be unaware of some interactions. Characters and their quotes appear in chronological order according to the video.

Corn:

"This is the GG's Garage. Hey, where's our pizza? Huh? You're not the pizza guy? Oh, you're here to join the GG's, eh? Heh... Tell you what. Find Gum. She's the one you wanna talk to. Just get close to her and pull the 'Right Trigger'. Got it?"

"Why don't you talk to her now?"

"Now, just 'cause you're new don't mean you can act like a big baby. The police are tightening up here, especially since the Rokkaku took over the police force. I know we look crazy 'n all, but even we know to pick our fights. So don't mess things up for the rest of us, got it?"

"Roboy's training changes as your skill level changes, so be on the lookout."

"I had a feeling Poison Jam would have their hideout in the sewers beneath Rokkaku-dai Heights. This is it... looks like the time to throw down has finally come."

"Man, those Poison Jam freaks are out of control. I say we start on Chuo Street and cover everything to Rokkaku-dai Heights and 99th Street in our graffiti. Chuo Street is probably the best place to start."

"Roboy told you, right? If you find a Mystery Tape, you gotta check the GG-notebook. It'll tell you where to find the Graffiti Souls in the area."

"Where the hell is Yoyo? Maybe he freaked out and skipped town? I'm sure he's alright. But we gotta take care of those Immortals. They've been walkin' around like they own the place. We gotta go and cover up all their graffiti."

"I'll send those Immortals back to the grave as many times as I need to!"

"We'll stop those Noise Tanks!"

Gum:

"Poison Jam knows something about Yoyo. I know they do."

"Damn! Punk, I'll get you for that!"

"The fortified residential zone... that's deep in the ghetto. And it could be the fake one again..."

"Here they come. The crazies from the Golden Rhinos. Concentrate, and watch your back. These guys ain't no joke."

"We gotta protect the streets. That's not a choice. We can't let these fools just waltz in and take over."

"The real enemy is your own fear. Remember that."

"So you're the cat that wants to join us, huh? I don't know where you're from, but the streets are tough. Real tough. Let's see what you're made of. We'll start you off nice and slow. Let's see how much air you can grab. Press the "A Button" to jump."

"Dogenzaka Hill is GG territory. I heard there's some headphone wearin' freak creepin' up here. If I could just find him, I'd show him what's up...."

"You can do it, can't you?"

"There are a couple of places in Shibuya Terminal where you can get on the roof of some buildings. You can get there by jumping from a Grind. You should check it out. Who knows what you'll find up there? When you're looking for something, the best place to start is the Map. You can see it by pressing the START button."

"The area of 99th Street is built around a tower that has a bunch of places to Grind. Definitely check that place out. There are also telephone poles to Grind and billboards to Wallride... the most important thing is to just try everything out. Oh, and don't forget to check the map by pressing the START button. That should give you some helpful hints"

"We actually found Roboy in a dumpster. Corn fixed him up real nice."

"I've been lost in the severs before. Its kinda crazy in there, but as long as you keep moving up, you'll be ok."

"Yoyo just can't chill and stay out, can he? He'll be back soon, I'm sure. I heard the Immortals hang out in the skyscraper district or something..."

"Actually, they say Roboy is actually a Noise Tank prototype. Don't tell him that though, ok? We don't wanna make him cry or nothin'. In any case, we're gonna get those damn Noise Tanks."

Yoyo:

"Those tracks should connect Sky Dinosaurian Square to the edge of the skyscraper district..."

"I hear that Poison Jam's woman leader has been showin' her face in town."

"Man, the Rhinos gotta be pissed off!"

"Shibuya Terminal is in a state of panic. I really wanna stay out of this, but we gotta go over there and take care of business."

"Don't use your eyes. Just try to feel it, ya know?"

"Graffiti has the power to wake up the energy that's asleep in the streets of Tokyo. The Rokkaku Group... the police... they don't know what's up. So let's just cover this whole place in art, yo."

"Yo, you know that dude Hayashi from the Rokkaku police force? That guy is one messed up dude. He's a complete psycho. Watch out for him."

"I heard through the grapevine that some weird-lookin' girl's been hangin' out at Rokkaku-dai Heights."

"So you think Poison Jam is after us?"

"We gotta get the Doganzaka Hill goddess statue that Poison Jam took. We better hurry, or things are gonna get real ugly."

Beat:

"Anything go down while I was gone?"

"I've always thought that thing in Shibuya Terminal was nasty lookin' anyway! Let's do a little redecoration."

"Sometimes, you just gotta get moving or else nothin's gonna get done, yo.

"Hey, I've heard of you. You're one of the GG's, huh? Tell you what... I'll race you. If I can beat you in a race around Doganzaka Hill, then this place belongs to me. Got it?"

"Hope you won't regret that."

"Shibuya Terminal? Now that you mention it, there was this huge guy wandering around there... And fishy graffiti? That sounds familiar, but I didn't really look close enough to see if the graffiti that the fool was paintin' actually looked like a fish or nothin'."

"Hey. Is it true Poison Jam used to cause trouble in Chuo Street under a different name?"

"Rapid 99 of 99th Street. They don't show their faces in public very often. Some say Rapid 99 and Poison Jam are sworn enemies because something big went down a while back. I don't know the details, though. A friend of mine told me that the girls in Rapid 99 are real lookers. I just think he was too scared of 'em to say otherwise. In any case, it ain't gonna be easy to find 'em."

"You meet Rapid 99 yet?"

"Noise Tanks? Never heard of 'em. But we gotta find Yoyo. I'll go through the sewers and check out Kiboganoka Hill."

"Those Immortals really get on my nerves..."

"Crazy stuff is going down all over town! Looks like it's time for a little clean up... GG's style!"

Combo:

"Time to get serious."

"This kid's kinda funny."

"This time we should be able to tell if it's the real one or the fake Yoyo just by talkin' to him, right?"

"That crazy guy?! What're you talkin' about? He looks nothing like me. Besides, we don't got time to deal with that fool. Remember? The Golden Rhinos??"

"Well, they told us to come. Don't look like we got any choice."

"There are some things that you can only feel when you're out in the streets, you know?"

"What's this?! Who's been sprayin' these ugly tags on my turf?! Hmph. I'm guessin' it was you... Its on! If you loose, you're gonna be answerin' to me from now on, punk!"

"You think you can do this too? Let's see it!"

"Man, you're not all that. Here, I'll show you one more time."

"The deep end of the sewers is closed off because it's contaminated. At least, that's what I heard..."

"Hey, why you gotta go out and get a dog?! There's only one thing I hate more than dogs, and that's goldfish."

"I heard Rapid 99 used to run under a leader named Cube..."

"Thing that ticks me off most is, the Immortals ain't worth all this talk and trouble. I wonder if they got somethin' to do with Yoyo's disappearance?"

"There's a bunch of real big guys with real big attitudes causin' a big scene over on Highway Zero. Maybe they might know something about the Noise Tanks. Man, where the hell is Yoyo?!"

Rynth:

"What is UP with Yoyo, anyway?!"

"Hey, Graffiti Souls are a big commodity, right?"

"I don't care if it's a golden rhino or a blue hippo, I'll send 'em right back to the zoo where they belong."

"What's their master plan? I mean, the Golden Rhinos don't seem like their just out here to run the streets, you know what I'm sayin'?" (This quote was spelled like this in game. From my knowledge it should be "they're just out here...")

"Here comes Gouji. Let's end this."

"Did you get all the Graffiti Souls? We still got a full laundry list of things to take care of, you know."

"Hehehe... So this is your hideout."

"Poison Jam are... kinda cute!"

"Is it just me, or does Captain Hayashi not look like he eats his breakfast?"

Poison Jam:

"I don't think Yoyo's that kind of a person."

"I think hes hiding something."

"This feels like a trap. Be careful."

"Someone's after DJ-K?! You sure about that?!"

"Gouji Rokkaku is kinda interesting. But, I think he went a little too far this time..."

"I love everything about Tokyo... even the things I hate."

"Hur hur hur. You want to get rid of us, don't you? Nothing in life is free. You gotta work for it. Beat us in this race and we won't mess with you anymore."

"Har har har!! I told ya'll you were a bunch of wussies!"

Rapid 99:

"ghahah! Next thing you know, you will be all crying like a baby."

"If you can win a flag battle against us, I'll tell you where Poison Jam' s hideout is."

"Suit yourself."

Garam:

"I won't hold back."

"Hey. Keep it real."

"There's this lightning-quick girl over at Kiboganoka Hill. Dunno if she's still there. But man, I gotta say, I'm really trippin' out over Yoyo missin' and all."

"When it comes down to it, the Immortals are just dried up mummies, man. I bet they all nasty under those bandages."

Boogie:

"The Noise Tanks might look strong, but they're like cheap action figures! Just run into them and they fall apart! Oh yeah, that girl from the stadium... I heard she's been lookin' for us. You seen her yet?"

"Aww man..."

"The fortified residential zone... it's directly attached to the underground sewers. Man. I don't like that place at all."

"Is that dude in black even human? My heart's pounding... I don't know why."

"You're never as good as you can be! Don't slack off!"

"Y'all are crazy!"

Jazz:

"This doesn't look good."

"Alright. Stay cool."

"Yeah.... we were a little too laid back this time, I think."

"The fortified residential zone... hey, why don't we pick numbers to decide who goes?"

"It's about time the Rhinos brought things up a notch. We better be ready to get real serious too."

"What the hell IS that big thing, anyway? But, you better watch out for that fool in black..."

"If you get a "Jet" in the Trials, you can even use people who aren't here to take out into the streets."

"You're one of the GG's, right? Then tell this fool that they got the wrong girl! They think I'm one of you guys! So, they dragged me out here and looked what's happened to me!!"

"Hurry up! Tell him that I'm not a GG!!"

Noise Tanks:

"Hey, you're that GG that helped me out! Thanks for that man. Say... there's something that I've been wondering since then. You wanna find out who's the fastest? I KNOW I can beat you. Let's give it a shot!"

"Alright. Fine. See ya."

"I'll get 'em good no matter what!"

"The more worked up we get about this, the harder it'll be to find what we're lookin' for."

"There's somethin' not right about the way the Golden Rhino's are actin'."

"Why are those Golden Rhinos going after the Radio station? Well, make sure to be on the lookout for Captain Psychopath."

"We gotta save DJ-K! I can't stand listening to this music anymore!"

"If this town could talk, what poetry it would speak..."

"Ready?"

"Practice all you want, it will not make a difference."

"It is not over yet. Prepare yourselves."

"Heh... Go on. Fight!"

"Are you ready?"

Special interactions:

"Sometimes it just doesn't matter how much you practice."

Slate:

"Dude. I'm bored. Entertain me."

"Hmph. What a bore."

"My sources tell me that the Noise Tanks and the Rokkaku Group are in this together. Be careful."

"So is that Clutch guy in with Rokkaku too? Or is he just a little punk?"

"I'm about ready."

"The Golden Rhinos are really startin' to get on my nerves..."

"I got better things to do than play house with Gouji Rokkaku, but man, that big ugly thing has GOT to go."

"Graffiti Souls' sole purpose is to be sought out."

Clutch:

"You're looking for that kid, Yoyo, right? Tell ya what, if you go out and get some Graffiti Soul points... Hey! Wait a sec, you've already got quite a few. Lemme see those... Sucka! Thanks for the Graffiti Souls! See ya around!"

"Hah, hah! I look forward to it!"

"I dunno, but I just don't get what's going on here. Heh..."

"This Gouji Rokkaku dude is pretty funny!"

"Haaaahaha! Tokyo ain't half bad!"

Cube:

"If you can beat me at my own game, I'll leave you alone."

"Suit yourself."

"The fortified residential zone... Unless you're absolutely sure of your skills, you should stay away from that place."

"I've dealt with the Golden Rhinos once before. If you don't take them seriously, you're as good as dead."

"I can't stand even looking at that thing. Its just so... so... damn ugly!"

"Yeah. You just have to try everything with an open mind."

Beat to Corn:

"So you're the leader of the GG's? Heh... How's this sound? If I beat you in a race around Doganzaka Hill, you and your buddies have to answer to me from now on. If you beat me... well, we'll just see when it happens."

"Huuuh? You're so boooring..."

Talking to Beat in the garage before fighting the police:

"Anyway, I'm ready to rock. But what's up with that pooch, eh? Where did ya pick him up? You sure that's not the leader in disguise? Heh heh. Its only a matter of time before I become the leader of the GG's anyway."

Combo to Gum:

"What's this?! Who's been sprayin' these ugly tags on my turf?! Hmph. Was it you, princess? You've been a bad, bad girl. You've better hit me with everything you've got, 'cause I ain't gonna hold back just because you're a girl!!"

"The cue tone get you all jumpy?"

"You liked that, eh? I'll do it again for you."

Yoyo to Rynth:

"You're... like... you know... yo."

"Where'd you come from?"

Gum to Rynth:

Rynth to Beat:

"Cool. Welcome aboard."

"You kinda... smell weird."

Garam to Boogie:

"Hey. I'm next in command around here, little lady. The name's Garam,"

Combo to Boogie:

"This group is growing bigger every day. Fool just dig me, I guess."

Gum to Boogie:

"So you're the one from Kiboganoka Hill, huh? Well, this is the GG's. What you see is what you get. Just be yourself, you'll be cool."

Garam to Jazz:

"Well, um... I... uh... be cool."

"That freak who's been making all those weird tags... you think he's connected with the Golden Rhinos somehow?"

Boogie to Garam:

"Alright. Stay cool."

Jazz to Garam:

"I feel ya, but I think you should try to chill a bit. Keep it together."

Corn to Clutch:

"What a fool. But the fortified residential zone... that's deep in the ghetto. And it could be the fake one again..."

Jazz to Clutch:

"Don't push your luck."

Beat to Clutch:

"You just wanted some attention from us, right? Aww..."

Combo to Clutch:

"Man, you're such a jerk I almost like you."

Garam to Clutch:

"One of these days, I'll get you one-on-one! Just you and me, fool!"

Boogie to Clutch:

"Fine. I'll let you off just this once."

Slate to Clutch:

"Heh... Stay outta trouble."

Corn to Yoyo:

"Long time no see, bro."

Clutch to Yoyo:

"So you're that Yoyo guy, huh? Heh..."

Jazz to Yoyo:

"So, you're the real deal, huh? 'Sup. I'm Jazz."

Combo to Yoyo:

"You gonna go and try to get back into shape, huh?'

Garam to Yoyo:

"Heh... I caused enough havoc for the both of us while you were gone, bro."

Rynth to Yoyo:

"The most unbelievable stuff was happening while you were gone! Hehehe..."

Yoyo to Slate:

"Hey, sorry about all that, yo. My bad. But thanks to those fools, I'm all out of shape now. Maybe I'll go out and cause a little havoc to warm up, yo."

Yoyo to Jazz:

"Man, things have sure gotten busier sice I was last here?"

Gum to Beat:

"That fool dressed in black who's been hanging around Chuo Street... now that I think about it, you guys kinda look alike."

Clutch to Beat:

"In times like this, you won't fall as long as you look where you're going. Heh heh."

Garam to Beat:

"Hey, you know that guy everyone's been saying looks like you? Well, is it you?"

There is some cutscene dialogue missing from these lines. If I can find all the cutscenes, then I'll be sure to add them.

[agentsoftie]

“I Love You” ( S.R )

summary: you get kidnapped and tortured but luckily the team find you fast enough. you act like everything’s fine but spencer doesn’t believe it so he takes care of you. when he does this you both share some things

a/n: the title is like a quote from everyone and everything that has said it! yes, i did just think of that. also the first part of this might be triggering so, trigger warning! oh and thanks @thestrawberrygirl for helping me with the end!!

warnings: trigger warning: blood, cuts, mention of death : angst : fluffy end though because i like to make y/n’s life always have a fairytale ending

pairing: spencer reid x reader

tagging: @criminalmindsmoodrn, @marshmallowtraver, and @ghostly-angelic

Remember to like and reblog!!

It’s been 21 hours. 21 hours since you got captured. Or at least that’s what the clock said. All you remember before blacking out was going out in the field. Everyone was split into pairs but you were the only one alone. You remember going out into a pitch-black alleyway. I guess that’s what you expect from going into one at night as a woman right.

You looked down to find cuts and blood all over you. You could still feel the pain but at this point, you had given up on any promise of your team finding you again. You just accepted your faith and tried not to entertain the guy that was holding you captive. You couldn’t get up because your ribs we’re broken, or at least that would explain the tremendous amounts of pain you felt when you tried to get up the first couple of times. You could feel that there was blood on your face, but what was the point of cleaning up. No one was gonna see you alive, except him.

“CLAUDE IRAY!!” You hear someone yell. You’re pretty sure it was Derek but at this point, this could all be a hallucination.

“Yes?” You hear him say smugly. You couldn’t tell where he was, but he was somewhere.

“You’re under arrest for the murder of 5 women, now where is Y/N Y/L/N!!” Derek said while cuffing him. Claude just remained silent.

“Y/N!! Y/N!!” You hear Spencer yell.

“In here!” You say after mustering up the energy to speak.

“Oh my god!” He says as he sees you. You couldn’t really see him. All you saw was his messy fluffy hair. You love that hair. He runs over to you and puts your head on his lap. He finds your pulse which is barely still there. He grabs your hand as you start to close your eyes. “Stay with me, come on you can do that. Just keep your eyes open for me. Come on,”

You didn’t quite finish hearing what he said because it was too late. Your eyes were closed, and you were fine with it. You had known something like this would possibly happen when you signed up for the academy so there was no arguing. The best you could do was try not to get blood on his shirt, which you miserably failed at.

“Y/N? Y/N come on. Y/N please,” All you felt was a tear on your face before blacking out.

“Reid, it’s been 3 days, you need to go home and get some sleep.” You faintly hear someone say.

“Hotch, no. I can’t leave her. She needs someone.”

“She has someone. Garcia, JJ, and Blake are outside right now and Morgan and Rossi are on their way here. But the difference is that they actually got sleep last night, and you should too. In your own bed, at home.”

“But sir,” Before he could say anything you moved your hand in a visible way and opened your eyes only to close them because of the blinding lights that were shining down. They both turned to look at you and just stared.

“Well hello to the both of you too,” You mummer while trying to sit up a little. “I uh, where am I?”

“Um, the hospital,” Spencer says.

“Oh, okay. Chill,” You say while your eyes still process all the light. 3 women entered the room, they were pretty blurry so you could barely tell who they were. “Oh my god, baby are you okay?” You see the one on the right say.

“Yeah, or think at least.”

One of them came quickly to your side and hed your hand, that was Blake. “Don’t you ever do anything like that again. You had us all worried sick,”

“Okay mom,” You say jokingly, but everyone else doesn’t seem to find it funny.

“We’re serious hun. We were all terrified of what could have happened to you.” Now that was JJ. She just had her ‘disappointed for no reason but seriously worried’ mom voice going on.

“Oh, you’re awake, finally,” Rossi says while he walks through the door with Derek following him. Derek didn’t say anything, he just came next to you and patted your shoulders with the ‘I’m glad you’re okay kid’ look.

“Yes yes I am awake and well, or at least I think. What ever happened to me? And what happened to him?” You say now fully awake.

“You were unconscious and unstable. Luckily Reid found you in time, or else you probably wouldn’t be here right now. And as for Iray, he’s in jail for now, but you will need to testify.” Hotch says in his normal stern voice. It was like nothing changed, but you and everyone else knew that they had a big time.

“So how damaged am I?” You say just as the doctor walks in.

“I can help you with that. I’m Dr.Stevens and its nice to see that you’re up. You have a mild concussion, a few broken ribs, and some physical therapy.” She says while checking your BP. “How long will I be here?” You ask wanting to get out of this shit hole. “Um, about 3 or 4 days. Although when you do get home you’re gonna want to have someone there, so do you have anyone that could help?

Before you could say anything Spencer answered. “She’s staying with me.” You didn’t want to argue with him because you didn’t have any relatives that could take care of you, and you felt safe in his company. Plus, he looked like he hadn’t gotten any sleep and you did not want to mess with ‘no sleep Spencer’ it was like a death sentence.

“Okay, great!” Is all she said before walking out.

“Spencer are you sure about this?” You ask while you get changed.

“Yes, Y/N. I am sure. Now come on, hurry up.”

“So, you’re just gonna drop me off at my place right,” You ask when opening the curtain.

“No. You are gonna stay with me, at my place.”

“But,”

“No ‘buts’ come on, you need someone.”

“I know I know I just don’t want to be a burden.”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, you’re not. Now come one, let’s get checked out.”

The car ride home was silent, but it was a comforting silence. A silence you needed after the disaster of a week you had. Spencer’s apartment was about half an hour away from the hospital, but yours was only 20 so you were confused as of stopping. “Wait, if I’m staying at your place then don’t I need clothes?”

“Yeah, Blake went and got some?”

“She has my key? Huh?”

“Yeah, you gave it to her the other day. You probably don’t remember though.” He says while laughing very lightly. There was the Spencer you knew. The Spencer you love. The Spencer you would do anything for. But, you couldn’t have him. Maeve was the only one he had ever loved and knowing him, he’s probably still grieving.

“Okay, here we are,” He says while pulling up to a semi-empty parking lot. He got out first, but being the kind gentleman he is he helped you out. Luckily you didn’t have any bags or luggage to carry with you so it wasn’t that hard to get to his place but you were still sore as hell so the ride up the elevator was a little painful. Spencer had noticed and asked if you were okay, but all you said was everything’s fine, and that he shouldn’t worry. He knew better though so the minute you walked in the apartment he went in the kitchen.

“Spencer, what are you doing?” You say sitting down.

“Here, drink this. I used to make this for my mom whenever she got a headache.” He says handing you a drink.

“But I don’t have a headache,”

“Just drink it, trust me.” So you did exactly what he said and drank it. You couldn’t tell if it was tea or coffee. It had a peppermint taste and smell though so you were very confused and he noticed. “Its uh, peppermint tea. Does it taste good?” You simply responded with a nod. “Well, um we should probably go to sleep now,” He says while looking outside.

“I can just sleep here on the couch or something, it’s no big deal,” You say halfway finished with the tea.

“I can’t just let you sleep on the couch. what if you get hurt?”

“And how would that happen?”

“I don’t know but what if? Come on how about you sleep in my bed and I’ll sleep here. On the couch,”

“Spencer, I can’t just take your own bed from you in your own house. That’s just plain rude.”

“Fine then sleep with me. Oh, wait, I didn’t mean that,” He says fumbling over his words. You loved it when he did this, it gave him a more human side. “I mean, you and I can sleep in the same bed. It’s a win-win for both of us. You know, like I will sleep in my own bed like you want, and you’ll be safe like I want.” You never noticed how much he talks with his hands when he gets nervous, it’s cute.

“Okay, fine. Just know that i'm fine though.”

“Stop!! Please!! I didn't do anything! Please, I promise I wont say anything!!” You yell in the middle of the night or whatever. You didn't know, it was a dream. But it felt so real. It was like he was there and it was happening all over again. “Please just let me go!” You yell again. You couldn't help it.

“Y/N! Y/N! Y/N wake up!” Spencer yells as he moves your arm.

You open your eyes and immediately jump up. “Spencer, I uh, I'm, I’m fine.” You say still trying to regain all your air. You weren't fine and he knew it. I mean, how do explain that without saying the truth? Do you say you had a dream about Hotch giving you more paperwork? No, he would never believe that. What about you getting your haircut involuntarily? That could possibly work.

“Y/N, you're not fine,” He says in a very scratch deep voice. He had just woken up and you could tell.

“Yes I am, now go back to-” You were cut off by a very new version of Spencer. A version you had never seen before. You weren’t scared in a sense just worried. He wasn’t playing around and definity was not going to go to sleep until you admit everything.

“Y/N come on. Just tell me everything. Was that about, you know,” he says in a more softer comforting tone this time.

“Just call him by his name. Claude Iray. And yeah, it was. Now can we just go back to sleep, my back is killing me.”

“Come here,” he said before pulling you close to his chest. It was comfortable and actually really soothing. “Talk, tell me everything.”

“I can't. I can’t cause’ if I do then it's like living it all over again and I just, I just can't!”

“What were you thinking about?” He asks as if nothing just happened.

“When?”

“In those 21 hours.”

“The team, my friends, you. I was thinking about all the things that I didn't get to say. The things that I needed to say.”

“Like what?”

“Well, um,” you pulled away from his chest, not sure if what you were gonna say next would be the best option in the world. “I was thinking of how I didnt get to say “I love you” to you. And I totally get it if you know you don't feel the same way. It makes total sense and stuff, and if this is uncomfortable and stuff I can go to Alex’s. She is kinda like my mom so it would make sense if she took care of me. Oh god now I'm rambling.”

He looked at you for a second as if he was unsure with what you just said. But then he grabbed you and put his lips on yours. It took you a minute to process everything that was happening, but the minute you did you kissed back. He pulled you in closer the minute you did. Sadly though you both needed to break apart because of loss of air.

“I love you too,”

“Love is a great beautifier”

— louisa may alcott

[rogue-barnes-16]

WITCH (part I/?)

Request: Loki x reader (The reader has few powers that she doesnt know how to control properly she can go walk  through memories and has a power to absorb powers for a limited amount of time but afterwards she  collapses and screams from agony since her body is not used to the powers people have ) And the way she meets the avengers is that she is walking to her apartment and in a blink of a moment she falls into a portal on the ground (and its Stephen's portal ) The portal takes her to the avengers tower . As she stands up from the ground she is greeted by the avengers . The whole time Loki couldn't take his eyes off of her .

Pairing: Loki x gifted!Reader

Genre: angst-fluff

Tags:

Requested by//Witch:

@almostmellowsalad

@unicorniorosacomefrutillas @bbcsassdeadass @mirtaqueen @han-flower @arttasticgreatnessoftheawesome77 @godhateskyleigh @tarynkauai

Permanent taglist:

@notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @almostmellowsalad @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers

Warnings: bad memory/experience.

A/N: this idea is meant to be a multipart, fight me. Instead of walking to her apartment, the reader's gonna be walking from her apartment to her work.

Rogue-barnes-16 masterlist

It was a regular Monday.

I woke up at at 6:30 thanks to my old alarm clock, which I bought during my early teen years —thank God, it still worked.

I walked out of the bed, tied my hair in a bun and, carrying my clothes with me, I got in the bathroom to take a shower.

I came out of the shower already dressed up and had a quick breakfast in my tiny kitchen.

I placed my uniform in my bag, along with the rest of my things, and, after putting on my headphones, I walked out of the apartment.

I never listened to music while going to work, but the headphones helped me to control my... Problem. They allowed me to focus on my thoughts, at the same time as they stopped me from stepping into someone else's mind.

I was checking my phone absently, and, after turning left in one a corner, I felt how the sidewalk below my feet vanished.

I squealed, but just a couple of seconds after falling inside God knows what, I was met with the cold ground. "Ouch" I propped myself over my forearms, sitting up and looking around.

"you have to be kidding me." oh my God. It was Tony Stark. And not just Tony Stark, Steve Rogers too. "Strange, she's a kid."

"she's a threat" the man besides Tony Stark said. "maybe not an imminent one, but prevention is better than cure."

"what the-" Mr. Stark sighed and pointed at me tiredly, "Rogers, help Ms. Y/l/n get up and take her to the living room."

Captain Rogers crouched before me and helped me to get up, but when he tried to take off my headphones, I stopped him. "Uh- Okay, leave them on, but come with me."

I nodded, getting up and following him to what I supposed it was the living room. "what am I doing here?" I asked quietly, sitting down on one of the couches.

I damn well knew why I was there, but I thought playing silly would probably be the best way to get out of this mess.

"Y/n, I'm gonna be honest" Steve crossed his arms over his chest and sighed. "I'm not sure why you're here. What I'm sure about is that you know that reason."

"I cannot find any book in your poor attempt of library" I turned around to see who had just spoken, and I was very surprised to see Loki, the man who destroyed New York a few years ago. He was walking to Steve, but when he saw me, he stopped in his tracks. "what is this?"

I saw Steve attempting to talk, but I certainly could defend myself, and I didn't give a damn if he was a God. "Excuse me, but I'm not a 'what', I'm a 'who'."

"Agressive. I like it." he stated, examining me closely with his piercing gaze, and I couldn't help but look away.

More people got into the room before Loki could say anything else. "Okay, dear. Seems like Dr. Strange is right, you're a threat."

"I'm not" I rapidly replied. I really wasn't a threat I had never been. Yes, I had a problem, but I knew how to control it.

"what kind of threat can a little mortal present for the mightiest heroes of Earth?" Loki teased behind me. It wasn't the kind of support I was hoping to have, but something is better than nothing.

"I see you decided to stop nosing my library" Mr. Stark retorted, and I realized I was no longer in the conversation. "got bored so soon?"

"starting with the fact that I never was amused in first place" I couldn't help but let out an amused snort, attracting Loki's eyes to me. "I found it utterly useless"

They glared at each other for an awkwardly long while before the Mr Stark sighed. "why am I not surprised." he then turned to me, gesturing to the headphones. "take them off."

I hesitated for a moment, considering my options. I could let them on and piss off two Avengers, a crazy villain and some kind of psychic, or I could take them off and control my problem.

Yeah, take them off sounded pretty good.

"Okay" I muttered, taking off the headphones. I looked around and relaxed a bit when I noticed that holding back my problem wasn't as difficult as I thought.

"well, wizard" Mr Stark pointed at me briefly while staring at the man besides him. "she seems to be controlling it just fine"

"Stark, listen to me for once in your life" the 'wizard' seemed quite tired, as well as frustrated while he spoke "she's dangerous!"

"I doubt it" when Loki let out the comment, using that condescending tone, all of us turned to look at him. "she seems completely harmless. And if I'm being honest, a little stupid too."

"well that was just rude" I replied, not being able to decide if he was defending me or insulting me.

"she is harmful. And almost as dangerous as you" he let out a scoff, rolling his eyes with disdain.

But I just didn't know how to react to that.

Yeah, I had a problem, and yeah I had lost control a few times, but I didn't consider myself harmful nor dangerous.

"But..." how did I defend myself in front of those people? "I- what I do- it never had consequences for the others."

All eyes were on me, but Loki's were particularly difficult to put up with. He had been staring at me the whole time, I knew that, but by saying what I said, I could tell I confounded him.

"you are." the wizard stated, completely ignoring what I had explained them. "the problem is that you don't know you're whole potential."

"wait, is it a problem or a gift?" Loki asked, slightly confused. I wasn't going to answer that question, because I actually didn't know what to say.

Everyone stayed silent. Either they weren't sure about the answer, or they wanted me to say what I thought it was.

Whatever it might be, Loki didn't get his answer. "can she-" he started to ask, but apparently, he changed his mind, since instead of addressing to Mr Stark, he stepped towards me.

I'm not going to lie, I got scared and my first reaction was to step backwards. "what are you doing?" words tumbled out while I spoke, and I heard a snort from some of the men standing now behind me.

However, Loki's expression remained curious while he stepped towards me once again. "use it with me." it was my turn to snort, which made him roll his eyes. "I can take whatever your ability is. I am a God."

"You're an idiot, that's what you are." Mr Stark spoke, and I glanced at him. "you know what? Go ahead dear. Use it with him."

Again, my options were pretty limited, so I took a deep breath and gave an apologetic glance at Loki.

I wasn't even sure if I was giving him that glance because of him or because of me.

"Okay, what do I d-" Loki's sentence died the moment I brushed my fingertips against his.

Last thing I saw was his eyes widening.

"No no no no" I heard as I fell on my back to the ground. A hand held the back of my neck. "you fool you didn't listen" it was... Thor?

My abdomen hurt like hell and the simple task of breathing became unbearable. "I know, I'm a fool" it was Loki's voice the one coming out from me. "I'm a fool" I —or he— repeated, this time with more difficulty.

It had worked, but I didn't know what kind of memory was it.

"Stay with me, okay?" Thor's voice sounded utterly distressed while he was shift Loki's body's position.

Was I- was he dying?

"I'm sorry." it was almost inaudible, it was more a gasp than a proper sentence. "I'm sorry, it's alright"

My breath hitched when I felt a slap on my hand, bringing my back to reality. "You witch" Loki muttered, trying so hard to contain the tears that he looked like he was going to explode.

He could stop his tears. He was struggling, but he managed.

But I just couldn't stop the sobs coming out from me, which disconcerted everyone.

Loki didn't break eye contact with me, nor did I. Not even when I felt someone giving me a reassuring hug. "breath, Y/n. Just breath, It's alright."

It's alright, Steve said.

It's alright.

Loki caught it too, and that seemed to trigger him, because I caught a glimpse of a tear escaping from his glassy eyes and falling down his cheek, right before he stormed out of the room.

[psicomma-s-very-secret-lab]

First night at the Asylum

This has been in my inbox (the old lab's inbox orz) for a looooong time and it's not even the oldest question LOL. I postponed my answer bc I wanted to incorporate some art here and I haven't had the chance to draw Shaun and Lo together in ages but man I feel like answering this after all this time cause their story is important even though it's been eclipsed by the story between Shaun and Ani ;__; (Girl look what a mess you've made smh)

Shaun and Loan's story is gross I'll tell you right away. If you want something cute or even remotely decent and healthy, better go on your way.

That question would actually require me to review all Asphyxia and Asphyxia Unplugged from A to Z, so I guess I'll only cover the encouter, from Loan's perspective here. Trigger warnings : violence, sex, drugs, French, and obscenely long post.

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Loan is 18 when he meets Shaun for the first time. He recently left the family home to move to the big city. After a few weeks in university he realises he has absolutely no interest in pursuing an academic career and drops his literary studies. He begins to live at night and makes a few acquaintances; Madame Charlie, a drag queen and a retired sex worker owning a pub in Camden town quickly takes Loan under her wing and the Ace of Hearts becomes Loan's rehearsal place for him and his newly formed band, Asphyxia. Loan also finds a part time job as an apprentice tattoo artist thanks to his connections ; it amuses him for a while, less boring than uni but he doesn't take it very seriously either. Loan has a brief affair in the end of the year with a guy called Adrian, the only contact he kept from university. Adrian had a brand new kind of stress reliever he would use before his finals, and he generously offered to share some with Loan one night after an okay fuck. That's when Loan takes his first bite in the poison apple. 

It was just a few puffs but the feeling heroin gave him was so amazing it got Loan coming back for more, and more and even more. His growing lust for the substance probably scared Adrian away cause the guy stopped answering Loan's calls eventually. That's when he thought it'd be a good idea to get wasted and drag his skinny ass up to the North of London in the middle of the night to get some by himself. 

He was walking down your typical film noir stinky dark alley when two guys approached him and started to molest him. Loan never knew what sobriety and subtlety meant so he would always go outside dressed like a glam punk whore and it never failed to get him into trouble of course.

Loan fought back quite honourably, he even managed to give a nice black eye to one of his aggressors thanks to his armour ring. But he eventually ended up being kicked to the ground, curling himself up like a louse. He heard the loud barking of a big dog and the beating suddenly stopped. A voice coming from afar shouted across the alley "Aren't ya fucktards supposed to be working?" – Silence. The dog growled.- "'The hell are you lookin at? Get the fuck out of here." They left in a hurry, their tail between their legs. Loan heard the ferocious barks again when the two guys ran away, then he heard the panting breathing of the dog and its claws on the pavement ; it was coming near him. Loan opened an eye and despite his blurry vision he could distinguish the big, drooling face of an adult rottweiler being busy sniffing his jacket.

« Aika. » The dog immediately left Loan alone, going back to its owner’s side. He could see a long shadow stretching on the ground. He was only a few feet away, slowly getting closer.

Loan was still shuddering on the pavement when he saw a hand reaching out to him. His brain was too dizzy from the beating and the alcohol he didn't hesitate one sec before grabbing that hand. He was freezing and that hand was oddly warm. Loan stumbled as he got back on his feet. "Hey, easy there." Then he spat out some blood before finally looking at his accidental saviour. 

And there he was. Shaun Myers. If only Loan had known all the trouble this man would bring upon him he would probably have run away like the devil was chasing him the second he met those eyes. He first noticed his height ; being 6'3'' and always wearing big combat boots Loan wasn't used to have to look up to meet the eyes of whoever he was talking to. 

Shaun shamelessly rose Loan's chin with his hand, wiping some blood off with his thumb, suddenly noticing Loan's pretty features. The dog was staying still, only its tail wriggling slowly.

"You. You're definitely not a whore." He said scrutinizing Lo's bruised face. Loan said nothing. 

"And you're far from home, aren't ya?"

"Kinda." 

"What brings you here?" 

"I don't know. What do you think brings people here?"

The dog didn’t seem very convinced by Loan’s answer and snarled, baring its teeth.

« Aika… » Its owner said, in a low but firm tone. The dog calmed down, sat reluctantly at Shaun’s feet, still visibly suspicious about Loan.

Shaun smiled, amused by Loan’s wit and his dog’s animosity towards him, then he lit up cigarette and Loan was instantly struck by Shaun's bicoloured gaze. Every single detail about his face set his insides on fire. But it only lasted for half a second- when the lighter swallowed back the flame the image got lost into Loan's numb mind and quickly faded into oblivion. 

"Follow me."

Loan followed Shaun for what seemed like an eternity. The streets were poorly lit but he felt like everyone was looking at them -the hobos, the hookers, the creeps at their windows-  it was like everyone was staring at his open lip and smudged makeup. Little did he know that people weren't staring at him because of his looks, but because of the tall dark stranger beside him walking with a huge rottweiler on the loose.

They arrived near what seemed to be an abandoned facility - probably used to be a school a few decades ago- some walls were partly demolished and the area was surrounded by Portakabins covered with graffitis that the builders must've been using by the time they were working on the site but now they were mostly squats for hobos and junkies. Shaun led him to a wobbly spiral service staircase and Loan almost fell a couple times trying to get down. "Watch your step" they ended up in a narrow alley - a smell of puke and liquor in the dry cold air - Shaun locked the staircase behind them as Loan started to hear some noise coming from nearby ; indistinct people chatting, dull basses, other big dogs barking... 

« You wait here. »

He whistled and left with the dog. Loan noticed the animal was strangely calm and didn’t respond when it heard the other dogs barking from afar. Shaun came back five minutes later, without his beast beside him.

"This way."

He led him to the opposite direction the noises were coming from, to what seemed like a fire door. Shaun pushed it and suddenly Loan was overwhelmed by the harsh neon lights and the infernal hubbub saturating the air of what oddly resembled a hospital corridor. "You're gonna stay here or what? Move your ass." The high pitched, crass laughter of a girl almost broke one of Loan's eardrums as Shaun got him into another staircase. Dirty walls covered with obscene caricatures, tags, spray paint, a guy with his hands inside the panties of the girl he was making out with at the third flight of stairs...

They must've been two floors underground when Shaun stopped in front of one of the doors with a red "Keep out" sign on it. While he was searching for  the right  key inside of his hoodie, Loan lost himself contemplating the graffitis. He noticed a used condom sticked to the tread of his boot. "Putain fait chier. Merde." Then a few 'clicks' and the door opened. Shaun held it open for him as Loan got inside. Never in his entire life had he heard basses so fucking loud. He could barely see in front of him. The atmosphere reeked of sex and marijuana. He could glimpse some sweaty naked bodies kissed by the electric blue neons lights as the DJ was blasting the beat even louder. For a second he lost sight of Shaun and bumped into an obscenely obese guy making him spill some of his drink "I'll cut you motherfucker!" Loan felt a hand grabbing his shoulder and taking him away before the guy could do anything "Better not get lost, Alice, we're already late."

"Late for what? What the fuck is this place??" 

"That's the Asylum babe, the only safe place for someone like you."

Loan was probably too wasted to understand that the Asylum was the actual name of this underground Babylon and he would learn later that Shaun wasn't exactly the type to make jokes anyway. 

Crossing the dancefloor of the Asylum was like swimming into the dark waters of the Phlegethon. A long time ago that place used to be an olympic swimming pool, the echo and even the tiles on the walls were still here- but now it was just a gaping black hole swarming with the broken souls of the fallen ones. 

As they arrived near the bar some girl, visibly quite drunk, made her way to Shaun and lasciviously wrapped her arms around his neck, Loan barely saw her murmuring a word to his ear before Shaun pushed her away with a rare violence. She fell on a  guy who was sitting at the bar, spilling all the drinks and breaking some of the glasses. Her head hit the counter as she fell down, her ankles twisted in what must've been an awfully painful position. Loan stared at her unconscious body in shock - Shaun didn't even flinch when he brushed her off and started to make his way upstairs, without even looking back. "You coming or what?" It was only now that Loan actually considered whether he should really follow that guy or not. He looked at that girl - he could read the words she was muttering on her lips "help me... One hit... Just one fucking hit..." as a some blood was running down her forehead.

Loan shook his head and climbed up the stairs. Some fucking stairs again. Everyone was staring at him, was staring at Shaun, but Loan was honestly too busy staring at Shaun's ass through his Levi's to notice any of that. 

Five minutes later this whole freak show seemed like a distant dream; the room where Shaun had taken Loan was quiet, so quiet it was hard to believe it was actually located in the same building. But here it was ; low ceiling, dim lighting, nothing on the walls where the yellowish white paint was partly bloated because of past inundations, no windows, just one queen size bed with messy sheets, a coffee table with an ashtray filled with cigarettes butts, a door half opened on what seemed to be a bathroom, and one big wardrobe facing the bed. 

"Make yourself at home." 

He sat on the bed as Shaun took off his jacket, beanie and hoodie, tossing them on the chair by the coffee table. Loan was ogling at each of his movements with impunity ; he was way too fucked up to give a damn about decorum. 

"I'll be back in a minute."

Less than a minute later Shaun was back into the room, opening his big hand under Loan's nose. A tiny freezer bag, containing a tiny amount of what could've easily been mistaken for flour or icing sugar.

"Your poison, Snow White."

Loan took the bag, observed it in the light of the bedside lamp as if he had any fucking clue about what he was doing. 

"That's 80£."

"80£??"

Shaun sighed "Jesus, you first timers are the worst. If you don't have the money I'm taking that back, also do I need to mention the house doesn't take credit cards nor cheques?"

"Fine." Loan glared at him shoving the bills into that greedy hand. Shaun hastily put the money inside his jeans' back pocket.

"Now do you wanna fuck?"

"Excuse me?"

"I said do you wanna fuck, like me and you."

"I-I'm not a whore."

"I know, that's why I'm asking you nicely."

Where the fuck was that guy coming from? Loan stared back at Shaun dead in the eye and saw he was serious. He tilted his head, pouted.

"Depends on what you have to offer."

In the blink of an eye Shaun pounced on him like a beast on its prey and before he knew it Loan was nailed to the bed, his face buried in the pillow. He could feel Shaun's hand pressing on his neck with a terrifying strength and he knew he could just snap it at any moment if he liked. He felt all his bulk lunging at his frail body as he leaned forward, until he was close enough so that Loan could feel the warmth of his breath against his ear.

"Just let me get this clear ; I don't have anything to offer. I'm gonna use you. I'm gonna take everything I want from you like it's my fucking birthday. And you're gonna love it even if in the end, you'll regret it, cause that's how it goes. You're probably gonna cry but it won't stop me. I'm not gonna give you my number, I'm not gonna give you a ride home, I'm not even gonna give you my name. Now if you're okay with that say yes." 

"Y-yes. Please." Loan panted. 

"Great." He said thoughtlessly before roughly pulling down Loan's jeans. 

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If you read this then it means you have vanquished this monster post, YAY! Here's a cookie to help you recover from that exhausting and traumatizing experience : 🍪

And ofc, special thanks to @ramblingpolkadots for the question! 😁 it was probably not the answer you expected but hey, it was fun to write this at least