#I only read yaoi and theory

[littlestpersimmon]

"I see children as unfinished beings who have been given a very large job to do. Their job is to become complete, to fulfill their potential: to grow up. Most of them want to do this job and try their level best to do it. All of them need adult help in doing it. This help is called “teaching.”

Teaching can of course go wrong, be restrictive, not educative, be stultifying, cruel. Everything we do can be done wrong. But to dismiss teaching as a mere repression of childish spontaneity is a monstrous injustice to every patient parent and teacher in the world since the Old Stone Age, and denies both children’s right to grow up and their elders’ responsibility to help them do so.

Children are by nature, by necessity, irresponsible, and irresponsibility in them, as in puppies or kittens, is part of their charm. Carried into adulthood it becomes a dire practical and ethical failing. Uncontrolled spontaneity wastes itself. Ignorance isn’t wisdom. Innocence is wisdom only of the spirit. We can and do all learn from children, all through our life; but “become as little children” is a spiritual counsel, not an intellectual, practical, or ethical one.

In order to see that our emperors have no clothes on, do we really have to wait for a child to say so? Or even worse, wait for somebody’s Inner Brat to pipe up? If so, we’re in for a lot of nude politicians."

Ursula K. Le Guin

91. The Inner Child and the Nude Politician

[to-my-rotten-core]

The whole "how does Garcia even know what happened to John/know John in the first place" pothole could easily be explained if they canonized my old man yaoi.

If Garcia knew Allred, either as friends or just acquaintances, then the latter could've spoken about John to the former.

Garcia would have a hard time believing the papers after the Martin exorcism, that talk about John murdering both Allred and the Martin couple, since Allred would've told Garcia about John's personality beforehand.

He would've investigated the incident furthermore, finding out about the cult, tracking their activity, and Amy and John's whereabouts (the psychiatric hospital).

Then the Michael incident happens a year later, and while Garcia is out in the Snake Meadow Hill Road, he spots John.

He knows the man's face by now, and is surprised they let him out of the hospital. Surprised, too, since John is still wearing his priest outfit even after being excommunicated.

Considering Garcia's faith is wavering after he failed to exorcise Michael (by the color of his crucifix), seeing John go back to the place where the Amy exorcism failed and try to finish what he started is a testament to John's potential to defeat the cult.

(Garcia obviously would know John killed Michael, but that's besides the point.)

Maybe he follows John as the man goes back to his home, and that's why he knows John's address and sends him letters.

(Though I have no idea how to explain the dream they might or might not have shared together, but whatever.)

Then as the Profane Sabbath approaches, Second Death cult activity rises around town, and the rest is history.

[nanakah]

hello hello, I took the alien stage pill. howdy fellow sufferers

Honestly, my first reaction to basically everything was "awww, they come in sets and are all without exception horribly doomed no matter their specs (loops cool music and vids)"

I'd seen some of VIVINOS' team works without realizing it was the same artist (my favorites being Beloved and Otomeroid) so it was rather shocking to learn of a "series" with a fandom as active/relatively large as Alien Stage without ever actually stumbling upon it before...

Anyways. I like the concept, and Hyuna+Luka in particular, a whole lot. In spite of all the jokes about only yuri and yaoi losing, my spider sense says they'll get their turn of crashing horribly soon and I wanna stay here to witness it burn beautifully, of course.

TL;DR OMG HYULUKA IS SO DELICIOUS

general yapping about all alien stage duos under the cut and some Hyuna/Luka considerations and theories

disclaimer: long, chaotic post ahead - i wrote most of it during revenge bedtime procrastination so I'm kinda just rambling/discussing my general impressions and vibes here instead of formatting it nicely or properly illustrating my points. good luck if you choose to stick around and make yourself comfy

alien stage impressions under read more - also SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

funny thing - I got into alien stage completely by chance after checking out some related vids to my Love and Deepspace twitter spree and avoiding my responsibilities. Ivan's Black Sorrow made a very strong impression and I loved his eyes, so I kept going deeper down the rabbit role and felt fascinated by the web of dynamics between the characters each time I took in a little more of the plot.

(His eyes are so cool and expressive.....I was already loving everything prior and was excited to continue, but Ivan was definitely the one to sell me on the concept more strongly and eat up the rest.)

It was interesting seeing "love" portrayed under such dire conditions and I kept wondering how come the aliens are so stupid they chose a 1vs1 PVP combat format with their beloved pets instead of the optimal formation of idol units and at least duos versus each other to utilize their feelings of love. Why would they do that?

That first innocent musing made me realize how clever the team behind ALNST is. The whole thing seems to be operating as a metaphor/commentary about how predatory the real idol industry is (the concept of anakt garden really sounds like the average idol trainee camp experience and the bonds they form with their group mates) and how heartless guardian (parental) figures can be in a society that is heavily utilitarian and barely gives agency to either their own children or sentient beings like animals that we keep as pets.

So in that world, the sacrifices of being an idol are literal and humans themselves are "pets" - with all the implications that come with "being dependent on a species that does not properly comprehend them". At times, the way they refer to the fandom of each character even seems to be tongue in cheek as to how "we" too are watching the story for entertainment and making fanbases for each character and reacting like some of the in-universe alien fans.

Therefore, it's no brainer that the answer to my initial question was: aliens/Segyein don't understand how to utilize human bonds and emotions to their maximum efficiency in the first place. They know interaction between humans seems to be important and produces more beautiful songs. However, they probably experience those feelings differently and most of them are likely unable to truly empathize with human pain, ethics or feelings. (And believe me, even some people have a hard time believing other species benifit from socialization, so aliens being that way is understandable). Perhaps the awful acts of the Segyein mutilating their pet human is no different from pulling a butterfly's wings to a human or injecting colored fluid into a flower. The glimpses of their buildings and tv show that they have the same sort of "do they have rights?" feelings and similar moral conflicts to what we have in the real world about species we don't understand fully.

I think it's really challenging to analyze a work attempting to guess future developments when you don't know the creator too well. In spite of looping OTOMEROID I wouldn't say I know VIVINOS and her team deeply as an admirer. But from the overall tone of the videos in her channel, I could pick up on a fascination with "extremes" of emotion and exploring the hypocrisy of society. Human/animal experimentation and materialism/religion/consumerism are topics that come up often. Love is also hardly ever portrayed as a simple or benevolent feeling alone - there's unrequited love, obsession, insanity, many facets of that feeling on the channel. Some works are more straightforward and focus on the visual presentation, others seem to have a deeper story behind it.

The technical quality of the Alien Stage MVs is extremely impressive, I had a blast looking at the patreon storyboards and feeling like "wow, a person actually made this". It seriously got me inspired to feel like drawing more to get out of my own artblock and to pick up on old OCs to show them some love. In the era of AI, this is a joy to get to feel. It all definitely feels like a well-put together labor of love. I'm super weak to things brimming with passion like this, it's contagious!!!!

Now that I've tried my best to make an eloquent opening and act like I'm not at all just a fangirl foaming at the mouth with this intense concept (I keep crying that I wanna see either Aka or Ohkawa try their hand at a death game scenario) and at the sight of a tragic toxic duo with a backstory of a deeply rooted mutual obsession/love and fall out (wiping drool out of the corner of my mouth as we speak), let's talk a little more about the story. In order to make sense out of my ramblings and projections, let me explain my thoughts on the other duos besides my bias first.

Mizi and Sua set the tone to their universe as well as serve as an explanation as to why "idols" work well to represent their conflict and struggle - I'm fresh out of Oshi no Ko here, so this feels equal parts like a comfort zone and everything but comfortable and hellish to go over again. But, to put it briefly, the adoration of someone as an entertainer that you want to support also overlaps with the word reserved for adoring "an image or representation of a god used as an object of worship" - idol.

Humans, stripped of their power and autonomy after arrogantly believing they were superior to everyone else and were the only beings in the vast universe, have been subjugated by other species. Because of the bleak, unforgiving circumstances they were faced with afterwards, the surviving ones were turned into luxury pets and stripped of their freedom. Free will made them children of God before, so people have forgotten all about the "God" who couldn't answer their prayers/save them. But, as Mizi says, the belief in God is innate to human nature. You are more likely live in this world successfuly if you have someone to look up to or a reason to survive.

When God seems so far away and so cruel...what they can do is look to each other as their "Gods". Because a belief in God is ultimately, a cry for salvation and acceptance...."The Bible makes it clear that “God is love” (1 John 4:8). He isn't just loving, but he is the very definition of love."Therefore, all characters are, in some way, looking for salvation and being constantly tested and brutally being forced to show off their humanity through the lens of how love affects them - and not at the privacy of their inner thoughts or anything. All of that in order to portray different aspects of "love", adoration and what it means to be human. To have a belief on the unseen - "what is essential is invisible to the eye".

IT'S ALIEN AMERICAN IDOL MEETS DANGANRONPA. WHOO.

(gOD I wish we could have gotten Luka vs Sua or vs Ivan in some way. That feels like it would be extremely close and entertaining to see. Am I losing my humanity? Why is my keyboard slimy? Am I becoming a Segyein ....?)

Of course, because I fell for all those deliciously doomed themes like the good CLAMP/Akasaka foolish nerd I am, I bought patreon access day one. Although some setting details were unexpected, I was pretty satisfied with my overall initial grasp on most of the characters. If you found me through the tags and didn't already follow me, my disclaimer here so you get to know me is that I easily gravitate to polarizing characters or doomed ships like a curse. There are also certain Themes that follow me like a plague and I could see some of my favorite characters' shadows on the doomed kids I liked right away. Like an itch to spot something more to what is being shown.

Therefore right away, Luka and Hyuna caught my eye big time. (literally, when I watched sweet dream I kept pausing and going - whOA WHO IS THE COOL GIRL WITH THE CIG. Wait wait wait show me more of the boy that looks dead inside overstimulated by the flashing lights!)

I don't really have any pretension to be quoted on anything here or say things verbatim (Patreon says it's fine to produce derivative content based on what's there, but as expected, it's enforced not to directly share it so I can't really go argument-evidence here by presenting it) and have only seen pictures of the artbook secondhand by a friend, so I'll have my fun here making commentary loosely based on extra content and sporadically showing off pretty MV captures.

Anyway.

We're introduced to this universe through the jarring cruelty of ROUND 1, contrasting a harmonic, beautiful, lullaby-like melody with a harsh outcome. Like Mizi, unless we got spoiled beforehand, we don't really know anything about what's about to horrifically transpire. And though she got education, it feels like the teachings about what death or the Alien Stage would be like were horribly sugar coated or distorted to her, as incentive to give their best performances - like sacrificing themselves was a good thing. The extra materials back this up with Mizi's first interview about "My Clematis" - it's like they're told they're simply going back to their "origins" entity (The Grand Ankt) and it's a pretty and peaceful thing. We're shown how bad humans have it in their society and simultaneously get a montage of a cute, healthy, heartwarming relationship between the two girls and a deep "pure" love, as well as feel the weight of Sua's sacrifice and how badly it hurts Mizi. You're told that Sua is her God, her Universe in a Godless world - only to have her ripped away and "God" basically slaughtered for cheap entertainment. Some of the extra materials put it as a certain "mutual love" between Sua and Mizi.

It's interesting how we're shown a stage and don't know what to expect at first - since the girls seem "calm" and happy to express their love, but there's an increasing sense of dread until the finality of Sua's death hits and the pretty, shining girl we see in the flashbacks becomes an empty husk. The MVs seem all to be roughly designed around creating a surprise at the end or recontextualizing something we have seen previously.

I won't discuss Till and Ivan at length at this time, because that would get too long and demands it's own post (I sure as hell rewatched Unknown, Black Sorrow and Cure many times though), but the key part for me here is - they similarly express "love", but through another facet - obsession of a one-sided love and the desire to reach salvation or a reason to endure the world because of that, too. To the point of choosing the chance of love over salvation, expressed by Till letting go of Ivan's hand when they had a chance to escape (not wanting to leave Mizi behind most likely) and Ivan's kiss and decision to strangle Till to give his own life in exchange for his/finally getting to express his "shallow emotions" he perceives as something that won't deeply scar Till (but it does, and it mattered, far more than he could ever have known). It's interesting that although Mizi calls Sua a God, they develop something closer to a balanced, mutual relationship, as much as their lack of understanding of "human relationship" allows - they connect deeply. Ivan, according to the comics, sees himself in Sua, but it's deeply frustrating how he couldn't build the same sort of connection with Till and felt like he could only maintain a bond through violence.

Mizi seems to be the only human who was raised in a "stable home" (her alien seems to actually love her closest to a mother), but that's not enough to protect her from pain - after all, the alien's reasoning was that if Mizi likes singing, she should join. Yolo! Your human baby's life is so short! Sounds like outdoor cat owners to me. Ugh. All other pet humans are going through some flavor of parental abuse, and it all reflects in how they express their emotions and what sort of decisions they tend to take.

Till, in contrast to all that, more closely resembles the definition of looking at Mizi like an oshi/idol as a comfort to run from the pains of his life - he always looks hurt or abused, but Mizi is like medicine that even watching from far away makes him feel "saved" due to nurturing that "first love" that is heavily idealized. It's interesting how his character that is first introduced as somewhat violent or wild because of the smashing guitar and "addict"/drug imagery turns out to be one of the most sensitive.

The cloaked figure of Mizi in Blink Gone seems to resemble a saint or Mary (mother) holding a child in her lap as he takes his last breaths. She rushed into the crowd in a desperate attempt to save or at least comfort him in his predicament. Till's final position even resembles that of being crucified.

All that, however, makes Till unable to see Ivan properly - who is constantly around him and yearning for his attention, protecting and loving him in desperate ways that he doesn't realize until the very last minute. He is also seemingly detaching himself from the "real" world as a very "pure" child (shown in the way he loves with full devotion and his artistic inclinations), which of course, makes Ivan painful to face - who is a grounding entity and a reminder of the real world. The one who touches his wounds, who is "there" and not unreachable like a flower at the top of a mountain. That love between Ivan and Till got expressed in a way that was painful to both, but a very human act of a clashing selfish and selfless-ness.

None of them are built for this. They're trying to survive.

So far, what I've got is...Mizi and Sua set a standard of what is closest to a mutual love that was growing together in a relatively equal and healthy way. Ivan and Till were reworked to avoid overlap with them and are chosen to portray the sense of an immature, obsessive love and clashing emotions. It's interesting to me how much the creators stress the "one-sided" and controlling nature of Ivan for behind the scenes, and I feel like this does not mean that Till couldn't possibly return his feelings - after all, the Actor AU does show great chemistry between them. It's more like, within their living conditions and because of the emotional immaturity of both of them, they literally could not see eye to eye - Till looking at an idol out of reach (Mizi), and Ivan choosing to seek out his attention through violent means that confused Till, thus he was unable to respond to the intensity of what he felt and grow into it.

NOW. TO THE MAIN COURSE THAT IS ROTTING MY BRAIN: HYULUKA.

If we've got all those bases covered so far...where does that leave Hyuna and Luka?

(This is the most Mello/Near-like I've ever seen another ship pull off. My inner 13 yo is screaming. They're both incredibly gorgeous. How is a hetero couple simultaneously so BL and yuri-like in DRAMA AND IMAGERY? CLAMP would be proud...)

You see, there's no official answer about the true nature of their bond yet.

But I have a lot of speculations. It clearly looks like a rotten, strangled-by-the-red-string-of-fate sort bond that is just up my alley. THE MOST FUN IS GETTING TO BABBLE BEFORE GETTING AN ASSERTIVE ANSWER. I'm all for making a fool of myself, so let's get down to it.

To put it simply - I believe Hyuna and Luka's role is expressing the extremes of the setting itself and what "to love" means within it, with a turn for the worse and the tragedy of "not understanding" even if there is love.

How do you conquer an oppressive world in which all odds are against you? Would you overtake it through rebellion or would you strike at it from within?

In a world in which God's teachings have become lost to time and difficult to believe, does love strengthen or weaken you? If it causes pain and destruction, can it still be called love?

I think Hyuna and Luka are standing at opposite sides of those beliefs, and cannot understand each other's mindset.

Seems simple enough to write Luka as a mere villain final boss since he seems to be enjoying himself at the evil death game and Hyuna as the nice rebel who wants to save everyone, right? But it's confirmed Hyuna wasn't really trying to rescue more people like she had an opportune moment to do for Mizi.

The artbook also says something incredibly interesting about what the "Luka Syndrome" mentioned in one of the MVs really means - Luka's prestige as a performer is raising the prestige of pet humans. He also believes "Hyuna would be safe with him" - Why is that?

I think they might actually have similar goals and a similar stubborness in which they believe themselves to be the correct one and the other to be pitiful and foolish. Hyuna is trying to overthrow a system that is well-established and has far more power or influence than them, therefore she needs to resort to drastic measures and flashy means to assert dominance over the alien society.

Luka on the other hand, feels like he is using the system against it and exercising his own humanity while at it. Rather than tackling the incredibly daunting task of being a rebel with guns blazing, Luka became a master of the stage in a way that makes humans gain influence and thus become more valuable.Even if I try to think of it as "he's just trying to survive", that doesn't feel enough - because whenever he is not on stage, Luka looks dead inside already.

Especially in the arts he looks like a younger child or teenager, except for the ones after he seems more consistently approached by Hyuna. It's hard for me to think what moves him is a survival instinct. He is also portrayed like the typical "golden kid" syndrome victim - someone so systematically beaten to satisfy their narcissist guardian figure and submitted to so much pain that they eventually absorb part of that mindset as a way to have agency and autonomy over themselves. It gives the illusion of being successful and thus that the abuse was "effective", but it's like a curse that is difficult to break from.

I think both of them are older for a thematic reason. It feels like it could represent what it feels like, as adults, to no longer be able to hold onto naive or idealistic things about the world or society due to ignorance and having to choose a path to express your ideas and reach your goals through your "work".

Hyuna is guns blazing and "adult pleasures" - singing to an underground stage, trying to scrub off the wounds of her past with alcohol, and it's interesting that her guardian alien is portrayed like an "absent" parent figure - they have an interest in humans, but doesn't care about watching Hyuna when she first was eligible for Alien Stage. I wonder if they even are the one looking for her at all - seems to me it's more of an alien police thing because of her "crimes". Under that seemingly "thick" skin though, it seems clear that Hyuna is deeply affected by Luka still, and the loss of her brother. She deals with her wounds by not really dealing with them at all and guess what - it's a weak point. Her song is uplifting and refreshing, but she clearly demonstrates that closing your eyes to trauma and purely moving forward doesn't make them go away. In that sense, Mizi is a way she is trying to "mentor" someone navigate through loss.

I love outcasts and mildly autistic-coded characters, so I gravitated to Sua, Ivan and Luka right away.

(Extroverted cutie and the doomest doomer of the bunch. As a side note, their character design alone and contrast is genius and gorgeous. I'd expect 90% of the time for Luka to be the designated BL character and hardly do I ever see his archetype paired with the sort of sharp, striking beauty that Hyuna has so I definitely got giddy with them right away. She reminds me a lot of Michiko Malando and Luka reminds me of Near, two characters I love a whole lot and funnily enough have the same mbti types the artbook describes them as - ESTP and INTJ. Ankt garden Luka looks somewhat closer to the AU versions of Luka, so gotta love both his origins and his twisted post-alnst/hyuun woo self)

I believe Hyuna bundles Luka with that trauma of grief and loss, and it's still unclear what their roles are in it and after the fact. While singing all in verses "We only get one life, so I'm living mine for me/'Cause I'm the one from your wildest dreams", Luka's face flashes through Hyuna's mind before even her brothers, like it's something that's always on the back of it and barely suppressed.

See...since VIVINOS loves the "more than meets the eye"/twist concept, something I'm expecting is for Hyuna's feelings not to be as black and white as blaming Luka and actually. It obviously was dysfunctional and isn't that....delicious???

I feel like a one-sided love or obsession wouldn't make sense to repeat as themes, and because of the heavy trauma associated in the backstory, it's not like a "healthy mutual love". To bridge the themes of MiziSua and IvanTill, I think Hyuna and Luka are being told in a way to express love as something that can also destroy instead of save, and their clashing ideologies come from a place of wanting to think "-I'M- right and want to be your god", instead of ever having been able to understand each other properly.

They have a similarly "corrupt" love that has a lot of guilt and regret built into it. Even with something awful as what happened to her brother, it's curious that Hyuna's mind first thinks of Luka in an "enamored" light - the scene looks pretty tender - but that's also attached to the weight of Hyun Woo's death.

I think It's likely that the twist is Hyuna having been the one who hurt her brother, even, considering the dynamic in these comics:

Luka and Hyun Woo compete for Hyuna's attention, and it's to be expected that none of them understand the boundaries and definitions of love too well. Hyuna and Hyun Woo seem to be naive and relatively raised in a decent way, submitted to superiority tests like the rest, but not directly abused. They seem to express their love for each other in a cheerful, healthy way, Hyuna probably because of her closeness to her brother (which is unusual for other pet humans to be able to do) is extremely physical in how she shows affection. She doesn't really reprimand Luka, and that creates an unhealthy dynamic in which Luka plays the victim - in spite of starting things - to enjoy Hyuna's attention. There is a cute comic that looks silly, but encapsulates it all:

Luka is a little shit that wants to be pampered. He knows he is physically weaker - if you come across a rabbit being hurt by a wolf, you wouldn't suspect the rabbit provoked it. So Hyuna constantly seems to take Luka's side regardless of what happened, wanting to have that protector role.

Luka on the other hand, has no reference of what it's like to be "loved". He is systematically abused and treated like an object - therefore, he perceives relationships in terms of "ownership". And I don't think Hyuna truly understands just what she is enabling when she encourages Luka to act the way he does or thinks his neediness is "cute".

Honestly, I think there's strong sexual abuse imagery in Luka's art and the presentation of his stage image as someone taking charge of their objectification. His clothing for stage always shows off his body one way or another and both Hyuna and him have this sensual imagery and approach to others, as if "reclaiming one's own body". The contrast of Luka's blank expression and the red collar indicating a mental breakdown in that artwork above featuring Heperu's shadow approaching him is truly chilling.

That boy has no reference of what a familial bond or love is like. And both his introspective nature and abuse seem to make it even worse for him to connect with his peers- in the artbook his only relationships listed are Hyuna and Mizi, in very negative ways. He is also said to have retreated deeper into his own world, because "no one can understand him". Again, checks out with the imagery of "gifted son" that is treated like a narcissistic parent's doll and that becomes desensitized to many things over time.

His alien guardian Heperu even looks vaguely phallic and Luka has body language of "trying to disappear" or soothing himself when not up the stage - hugging knees, looking smaller, sucking on sleeves, stimming with toys (rubik's cube). The scars on his chest seem related to the abuse of submitting him to pain to overcome fear and I theorize the scars on the side may have been for plastic surgery like abdominoplasty or even possibly removing ribs. Normally that would be done from the back, but hey - alien science, and he already had "tainted" scarred skin on the front, so it would make sense to try preserving his back. His waist is drawn really really thin. It's also mentioned that he had a strict diet even though he is a big eater - that is, Heperu is deeply violating his agency in accordance with Lookism.

Luka has all the makings of a really tragic character and reminds me of Kamiki Hikaru's construction in Oshi no Ko. A victim turned abuser in some ways, as a way to seek autonomy, self expression and living for their ideals and love, no matter how twisted it has become.

There's a comic that has a "flashback" of anakt garden and Hyuna being asked by Luka if she likes to sing. The POV of Hyuna's face looks as soft as Luka's does from hers. She tells him that they don't have freedom for anything else, but when she is up at the stage, it's like her life is "her own", so she likes it. The image of Luka singing as an adult suggests that even now, those are the words he pictures and that is the image of Hyuna that is alive in his mind.

In a way, both of them are deeply attached to the past, and while Hyuna wants to shut it down completely and regrets it having happened, Luka's feelings are twisted.

We don't know much about the kiss. Considering the "sucking on forehead" comics, I get the feeling Hyuna was startled by the sudden escalation from Luka acting as a passive, cute pet and jumping her with so much intensity, but may not necessarily have pushed him away. The following fight could either have happened because Hyuna became withdrawn as a result of suddenly becoming aware of the effect she was having on Luka and what their feelings for each other were (since previously, she might not have been able to tell the difference between being all over her brother and all over Luka) /or/ the scenario played out like the forehead sucking. She didn't dislike it, but Luka became insistent or they got caught in a way that Hyuun Woo had no context for, thus assuming Luka was forcing her.

And there is a third option too that now I think about it, seems the /most/ likely: the growing proximity to Hyuna made Luka's feelings of "wanting ownership and exclusivity" even deeper because of love and lust, as simply being assured he is "loved" doesn't seem to be enough for Luka. It could be that Hyuna in fact disliked his attempt of kissing her and became more distant to him. Thus, he orchestrated for Hyuna to take his side once again for validation in a reckless way - but the results were "better than he thought" when it resulted in Hyuun Woo's death. Because, that is a price so heavy that it feels like "wow, you actually chose me".

This scene is super interesting, I love Luka's expression. It's joyful in a "perverse" way. He was successful in trapping his beloved Hyuna. And it seems that the emotion is so intense, like he is finally free from the mask of pitiful wounded animal with no agency over himself that the sheer ecstasy might have caused a seizure or heart attack, hence his eyes looking glassy afterwards and his fingers finally turning the blue/purple hue we see on his older design.

Skimming through the patreon posts, I was pleasantly surprised to realize my gut feeling about Ivan and Luka having a similar core wasn't wrong. Sua in comparison is the scenario of someone who doesn't go off to the deep end as the two of them. It's often stressed that the team was worried about establishing Luka and Ivan as distinguishable - their personalities are similar, but their masks are different. Ivan presents himself as the "big bro", while actually being a boy struggling with properly expressing emotions that went as far as practicing smiles and expresions at the lake. Whereas Luka is like a porcelain doll and passive - austere, even...but what about his real self?

We're cleverly prevented from seeing an introductory MV for Luka, as round 4 doesn't happen. And for the subsequent videos, Luka shows himself partially by not disclosing his POV, but showing important sides of himself - the urge to control and the attempts to "become whatever is desired of him". A blank slate.

In a sense, that's implying to me Ivan and Luka's stage presence is an expression of their "inner selves", where their feelings and thoughts become bare. Ivan does so by casting aside his big bro warmth and stepping in as the image of a serious-faced, strongly devoted man that is coming apart at the seams with the weight of his immaturity, sadness, love and obsession.

Luka's stage presence is a distant cry from his image of passiveness and class behind the scenes. On stage, he is a seasoned performer and a calculating prince that enjoys pulling the strings to reach the ideal performance as seen in his inner world. He cunningly displays a different expression between the audience and his partners to achieve the ideal results. Luka acts like both a director and an actor while performing, in order to construct his vision - He's bold, confident and invades people's personal spaces.

(What a condescending little shit. I love him. His expression seems to be saying something like..."Done already? Hmph. I expected more of you. You need to do something for me to do my part and shine, too."

A point I theorize about Ruler of My Heart - Hyuna says in the artbook, I think, that Mizi reminds her of herself. Luka would be able to pick up on that also, especially since Mizi had just been broken by the loss of the one she loved most and formerly had that spark of "hope and dreaming high" in her eyes. Luka may have chosen the song specifically to have Mizi recreate the "role of Hyuna" envisioned for it - as in, he never expected her to be obedient at all. He was riling her up to feel what Hyuna might have responded like to this song. But the Hyuna in his idealization is probably "blazing, absolute and strong" - instead of shutting down and giving up singing. Mizi lets herself get intimidated by his provocation into silence, but when she loses it to punch him in the face with no regard for the consequences - like Hyuna surely would do - is when he finally smirks. It's also a mockery of letting emotions take her over, securing his win and further reinforcing he is "in the right". )

Another interesting tidbit is that Luka's personality isn't of the ethereal "pitiful-but-nice" character, but rather something that "fits VIVINOS taste". He is also compared frequently to Ivan in personality/mindset, who is described as a "bad boy" with a possessive/manipulative streak. If the sides of Ivan we get to see that related to Till are fairly tame and the team worries so much about contrast, that seems to imply that Luka embraces the more extreme parts left out of Ivan.

Even more interesting than that is the core of Luka's character inspiration - "the little prince", which I assume most people have read before. It's a children's book about an adult meeting a little prince from space and basically sharing life lessons.

If we look a little beyond the "cute blond kid"/moon motif...the most striking aspect about the Little Prince is probably the idea of the rose and the fox. The immature prince is taught the concept of love and responsibility by a wild fox - that to tame someone is to make them unique, and it's the time spent nurturing that love that makes it precious. The prince had been frustrated by a Rose he thought he loved, but grew annoyed by because he could not understand her. He also was confused upon realizing there were many roses in the universe, but his was too selfish and flawed. So is she not as unique as he thought? He starts missing the rose, and learns that there IS a difference - none of the roses are "his" or sound like "his" - because if they have tamed each other, going forward, he isn't just any little boy to his rose anymore - he is "the" boy, and she is "the" rose, unique in the universe.

This feels extremely relevant to a character presented as a "product" of gene editing and, basically, being created in a lab. The implication to me is that there may be many other "Luka"-like humans - the vast array of congenital diseases he manifests such as heart disease, Raynaud syndrome, asthma and chronic migraine all make him sound like their universe's equivalent of a white pug dog with dubious origins to boot.

What makes that test tube baby, raised by a ruthless alien that doesn't care about him as more than a way to vicariously live a life of success and luxury, unique in that case?

Love.

And my take is that, the fox and rose to his little prince are the siblings Hyun Woo and Hyuna.

(I'm suddenly reminded of the Vanitas no Carte Louis-Domi-Noé trio. Why do those never end well?)

IMO the rift created between Hyuna's brother and Luka wasn't necessarily there from the start. Before getting more strongly attached or opening up to Hyuna, Luka looks extremely detached. Hyuna's brother looked like the picture of excitement and youth, so it feels like he could have reached out to the quiet boy first and Hyuna tagged along. The settings mention something along the lines of Hyuna not quite being the origin of the "dreamer" outlook, but being inspired by her brother, and I can picture it.

Hyuna's MV All in and her relationship with Mizi painted to me the picture of a girl that is naturally attractive - her drive and sunny disposition are simply dazzling. But, underneath, there seems to be "something" doesn't it? I think Hyuna's charm comes from a mix of strength and vulnerability. She seems like the type of person to cope with humor and being flirty in order to lift people's moods and surprise them, but Hyuna herself can have quite heavy and serious feelings. The somber look suits her, and it's overall impressive that she didn't completely break because of her brother. It's like her innate talent for performing draws people to her, but at the same time she can sustain an illusion of "closeness", her true worries and wounds are kept deep inside and she doesn't let others truly see into her.

So.

What's shown in Blink Gone to me is that Luka's not merely surviving a death game, he is enjoying the show and trying to feel alive. To someone like him that probably already feels dead inside all the time and was "abandoned" by Hyuna, there is nothing much to look forward to. We don't know what happened between Hyuun Woo's death and their first alien stage run (quite a lot, since Hyuna even lost a leg) ot the timing of their relationship fall out. Given their memories and image of eachother, it does seem to be implied they were already going separate ways right after the incident.

It's likely that what connects Luka to Hyuna's memory the most is the feeling of performing itself - the one time he gets to be free. Luka acts like he is superior to the other pet humans for having "figured out" the system and feeding into it, and looks down on them for having no control over their emotions. But does he really have total control over his own?

In spite of all the abuse he embraced as his own will or believing he could truly get any power by playing the game according to its rules and "overcoming fear", someone as unpredictable and impulsive as Till is the natural enemy of someone like Luka. He had the upper hand as long as it stayed within his plan, but Till suddenly going as far as going back to the green light indicator was worrisome. Luka's Stamina is actually rather crappy, so if Till did decide to go all out, he might have been cooked.

I think, to Luka, it's probably about more than keeping himself alive. And Till flipping the game then would have made him waste his life on a performance that was supposed to be easy -and- it must be annoying that Till strayed off-script. My hypothesis is that he wants to reach out to Hyuna, still - either by increasing the influence of humans to shift the world closer to the one she envisioned, or by putting his life in the line at the stage as many times as possible to feel the "weight" of her presence as if she still were by his side or to grow so famous that she cannot ignore or escape him.

Deliciously hypocritical of him to look down on others so much, when Hyuna's unannounced presence shook him so badly he turned his back to the stage and stared at her with an expression we'd never seen before.

My take is that her walking in like this is seriously the worst scenario to him. Luka expresses in the artbook that he pities Hyuna and that her safety would have been guaranteed with him, so - because of his influence - I think he might actually have gone to the Alien Stage again to secure his power status AND request to keep Hyuna out of it. A condescending sort of domestication we know she would hate, but would keep her safe.

But see. Even if she wasn't under his care, being out there causing a ruckus is one thing - she's alive and kicking, not really in the slaughterhouse. He can live with that. So, he sings to his heart's content. And...

His sneering that people are suuuch rookies at controlling their emotions...

Sooo weak to let their emotions and regrets dominate them and make them lose sight of the stage, compared to his Super Competent self that can overcome fear and control his own heart rate...

All came back to bite him in the ass, like an idiot.

All other characters were pitted against their worst case nightmare scenario, and I doubt the Prince will be an exception. I really don't think his type of obsessive is wanting to be superior to or beat Hyuna at performing either, even if it's his guardian's mindset (it seems Heperu feels inferior to Hyuna's guardian and adopted Luka simply as a means of beating him - so seems very possible he will push for having the two face off and prove Luka's "superiority").

No matter what he does now, it's either Hyuna against Mizi at the risk of death or Hyuna against him. Hyuna's a wanted criminal - there is absolutely no talking a way out of that one. Not only that, Hyuna's bleeding from her wound already. Luka facing against Hyuna as the second time champion would mean being forced to choose - keep rulling the stage, or chose the one who was his guiding light in the first place?

The imagery from the sweet dream opening (as well as Luka having covered that song) is "release" - Luka dying at Hyuna's hand even if it's not something she can truly do with pleasure, no matter how much she copes with her past wounds by hating him. I wonder if it's a red herring or if it will play out, I particularly want whatever will allow to explore their character, feelings and motivation the deepest.

I don't think Hyuna wandered onto the stage for his sake - it seems like it's for Mizi, who is completely frozen. Hyuna probably has up until now coped with hating Luka because he represented everything she was rebelling against - the "system" itself. A nasty cog in the engine of the aliens who, even if not directly, ultimately were the cause of the entire context that stripped her away of her freedom and lead to her precious brother's death.

However...

My guess to what's happening here isn't "wow your outfit is so slutty" or "you've grown". It's more like...Luka suddenly looks too human.

He wasn't supposed to.

...Phew. That's all for now. The ADHD gets strong when I'm talking about something that tickles my brain, so I hope that wasn't too messy/unintelligible to follow with the back and forth jumping timelines or repeating points of interest I did.

Well! I really, really wish there was more for me to keep going, but for now I'll live with overthinking with what we have. I might do separate analysis/speculation for the MVs if I have a deadline I'm procrastinating on come up the time.

Bottom line is, I think all those characters are very interesting, but Hyuluka are the ones I'm rotating like a rotisserie chicken in my mind. Plz hurt me more VIVINOS team and thanks for the good fucking food

[sagesparrow394]

Okay I’m recording my reactions to Riptide 115 as I go, I feel like I should, this is a momentous occasion

Dopple-Gilly being slumped like Golden Freddy was way funnier to me than it should have been

I’m completely on board for a Chip goes to therapy arc

Oh??? The artificial leviathan is meant to cure the Black Sea? I don’t buy that as the only intention of making it, no way

OOOOOH PLANT ON LIZZIE’S CREW (I already knew that because I got spoiled on twitter lmao) My theory is Marshall John. He’s literally ex-RAFT who was weirdly easy to convince to turn to piracy, and was dead set on joining Lizzie’s crew specifically

I love that the Riptide crew are absolutely suffering on the Black Sea, meanwhile the Granberry pirates are literally partying rn

I WAS NOT EXPECTING JAY TO ASK TO DRAW A CARD LMAOOO

Gillion and Chip’s conversation is hitting right in the heart, man… THEY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER SO MUUUUCH!!! FISH AND CHIPS BABY

Jay’s expressions in the thumbnail of this episode made me think for so long that Chip and Jay were going to have a big argument or fight that made them decide to split up. I’m relieved to find out it’s not that, they’re just splitting up out of necessity, they’re all still good

“I love you, Jay.” “I love you, Chip.” aaaaAAAAAUGHHHHHH SOMEBODY SEDATE MEEEEE, FOUND FAMILY MY BELOVED

AND CHIP CALLING HER SURESHOT AUGH

Bye Jay, I’ll miss you ;-;

Aaaand immediately Chip and Gill are calling each other pookie and other pet names, of course as soon as Jay’s gone they start acting gay

Gillion/Charlie describing the ‘hole’ as ‘yawning’ is giving me The Big Swell flashbacks (QSMP I miss you)

oH GOD ANOTHER DARK PUCKERED HOLE EXTRACT, AND IM LISTENING WITH MY PARENTS IN THE ROOM AGAIN I CANT-

Knowing that Grizzly stepped away for FORTY MINUTES to go write something for this makes it so much more nerve wracking. Bro didn’t have this prepared, didn’t spend time editing, he just made this on the spot

Someone show Finn ao3, he would thrive there

Chip’s reactions makes it so much funnier to listen to

What the fuck is the ‘half-moon handy manoeuvre’

I wonder if, back in the Black Rose oneshot, Charlie had any idea this was what his character would come to be known for

‘THE DOLPHIN’S BLOWHOLE MANOEUVRE’ ‘WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN!!!!!’

‘I could not squeeze my mega-cum-blast any longer’ truly poetry

NOT THE ‘AND EVERYONE CHEERED’ ENDING

Horniness aside, there is something genuinely sad about Finn finding his true love in prison, and only getting to have one night together… Like that is heartbreaking

‘If the rest of my life was meant for this moment, then I wouldn’t have changed a thing’ this old fish man yaoi is making me tear up like wtf

Gillion gained +2 rizz from his grandfather’s sex book, that’s wild

:((((( Goodbye the Albatross

GOOBLECK!!! Every time he says something, I get so happy

30 POINTS OF DAMAGE FROM AN ARM WRESTLE?! HOLY SHIT

Bizly pulling the camera right up to his face and yelling ‘TO THE HELM BOY’ is so much funnier than it has any right to be

‘Heh, nice body count… BUT EVEN MY GRANDPA COULD DO BETTER!’ Gillion may not have liked reading Dark Puckered Hole, but at least it’s given us one liners like this

I fully expected this episode to be emotional from start to end, but nah, without Jay around to ground them, Chip and Gill have just descended into pure unfiltered silliness

“You’ve gotta stay on top, just like grandpeepaw” 🤨

GILLION 360 SPIN KICK! Dude’s been taking lessons from Dakota Cole

hE’S NOT A HOLLOWED???? GRIZZLY WHAT THE FUCK WHY WOULD YOU WAIT UNTIL GILLION KILLED HIM TO SAY THAT-

OH THANK GOD HE’S NOT DEAD

Into the hole in the sea we go…

“Welcome home” hUH??

aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA BEING LEFT ON A CLIFFHANGER WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO JUST CLICK ON THE NEXT EPISODE SUCKS

‘You’re gonna be leaving me on that cliffhanger for six fucking months?!’ *stares at the 1 year ago video timestamp*

God I love this campaign

Finally… I can say those three words

I miss Riptide

Update: bro I was saving the Riptide Sea Shanty until I caught up with the campaign, and I just listened to it and now I’m actually crying… Seeing Ollie and Felipe… Hearing the whole crew sing together… I’m not okay man I miss these guys already

[cicaklah]

get ready for my thoughts on yaoi UBI

So I’ve kvetched about UBI in the tags for long enough someone finally asked me what I was going on about so here we go! 

I will start with some caveats: 

I am British, and so I can only speak about the British specifics.

I have for the past twelve years worked as a professional health economist, and health economics is based on social welfare theory (specifically growing out of Arrow’s work in the 1960s and Sen’s work in the 80s/90s). I literally could talk forever about this, but I won’t. If you want to know more, read the pretty good wikipedia article on welfare economics.

But fundamental to welfare economics is two things: if we make a great big change, do the benefits outweigh the costs? And does the change make a fundamental change for good? (aka cost-benefit analysis and pareto efficiency).

The other thing you need to know about me is that I don’t like activists very much, because they never have to show their working, and my entire professional life is showing my working, and critiquing other people’s working. We all have ideas mate, show me the plan! I love a plan! and this isn't coming from anything but personal experience; I have been to talks by UBI activists before, including ones by economists, but I have never had the case made to me that UBI would be either cost-beneficial OR approach pareto efficient. In fact, it usually reminds me of arguments that are based on some other imaginary world, and then I get so annoyed I want to scream. 

In the early 2010s when I was first starting working as an economist, I was asked to build a model to see whether switching a disability benefit from government administered to individual administration would be cost-effective. Essentially, if you were newly in a wheelchair and you needed a ramp building up to your house, would it be better for the government to organise a contractor, or for you to be given a cash transfer and organise it yourself? The answer was that it wasn’t, but anyone who has ever had to hire a builder could have told you that, and the government didn’t have to pay my firm £30,000 to make that decision. But that is what UBI essentially is; a cash transfer where you get cash and the government gets to enjoy less responsibility.

There are 37.5 million people of working age in England. (Nearly) every single working person gets what's called a tax free allowance, where the government doesn’t claim income tax on the first £12,570. (Once you make over £120k, your allowance starts to decrease, and you lose it entirely at I think £150k)

Let’s assume that instead of just not claiming tax on this amount, the government switched to making that £12,570 your UBI. That is £471,375,000,000 just for England - just under half a trillion pounds. In cash, or nearest as in our modern economy. And not one off - Every year. 

Okay, let's say that the country does have a spare half a trillion a year (in cash) lying around. What is the benefit to switching from tax free allowance to UBI? Well, let's assume that no one stops working, so there would be the tax receipts from the 20% income tax on the £12,570, and that’s just a shade under £100 million. Not bad.

But if you’ve seen a UBI post, you will know that people like the idea because they will be able to work less. Which probably means that UBI will need to be paid for in some other way. Perhaps by cutting existing benefits. The universal credit cost is around £100 billion. So we’re still £300 billion short, and honestly, you wouldn’t cut all of universal credit anyway, probably only the unemployment benefits, but I’m not digging into the maths on that tonight. 

But, look, I am sympathetic. I am a welfarist. I genuinely believe that the economy is not just money, that welfare is happiness, it is utility, it is all the stuff that makes life worth living, and it is the responsibility of the government to maximise the welfare/happiness/utility/quality of life of the country through efficient use of taxation and other sources of money. So people give the government money and it spends it on goods and services and then people get utility, and then they spend their own money to get more utility, and ultimately we can gain intangible things that are incredibly valuable. 

But the problem is that cash is cash, cold and hard and very real. I don’t know how unlimited spare time translates into half a trillion real pound coins. I wouldn’t know how to build a model that complex and uncertain, especially as this all assumes that you can live on 12k a year, and that whatever replaces progressive taxation is equally progressive. I haven’t even touched on how having a convoluted welfare state insures it somewhat against being entirely destroyed after a change in political opinions, aka what I call the daily mail test. You think the narrative about people on welfare is bad now? But also, how would you deal with people who didn’t manage their UBI money well? What happens if there is a personal crisis?

The more I look at it, the more the existing system is actually remarkably good value for money. Individualism is expensive. Collective decision making and spending is just cheaper. 

Ultimately I don’t see the additional benefit of UBI, requiring a pie in the sky change, when it is far, far, far more cost effective to strengthen the existing regime across the board; taxation law, social safety net, childcare, working laws, education and health - all systems that are already in place, and have a thousand times higher likelihood to be pareto optimal and cost effective than trying to find half a trillion pounds of cash round the back of the sofa, while torching 150 years of progress so middle class people can write their book without having to have a job. If I was conspiracy minded I would say that UBI feels like a psy-op, trying to shut down old fashioned progress in favour of ripping it all out and starting again.

Ultimately, that is my real annoyance. It is far, far, far cheaper for the government to provide you with your new ramp for your house, and that is done through politics, but not fun moonshot politics, the hard shit that isn’t sexy.

[maxdibert]

Hello :))

Do you ship characters? If you do, what hp ships do you like? Do you like any snape ship?

:))

Well, of course! Hahaha, I’ve always been total shipper trash in any fandom. Yes, yes, of course I ship.

When I was a teenager, I used to read a lot of Dramione. These days, I’m not really into that dynamic because it feels super toxic to me, BUT I do enjoy it when the story explores them as adults, even with their canon kids, and they meet again years later in a setting where they’ve both matured. I also like Hermione/Viktor Krum because it’s super cute, honestly. I’m not going to lie.

I’m old-school FF.net, so I’ve always had a soft spot for Luna/Theodore Nott, which became really popular in the late 2000s. And sticking with crack!ships, one of my current favorites is Neville/Pansy. It might seem weird, but OMG, THE DYNAMIC. Soft boy/BAMF girl—my cardio. Oh, and Cho/Dudley, because it’s absurd as hell, but canonically Cho married a Muggle, and what better irony for the Dursleys than ending up with a magical grandchild? Lol.

If we’re talking canon ships, I ship Dumbledore/Grindelwald so much because, while I have a lot of issues with Dumbledore, old-man yaoi gets me every time. Add the drama, and they have everything needed for a tragic gay Greek tragedy, and I live for the angst. Please, give me all the pain. I also love Lucius/Narcissa because I hate the theory that Lucius was abusive or that they didn’t love each other. They absolutely loved each other deeply, and as someone who was a teenager during the Gossip Girl boom, I have a soft spot for sassy old money couples who are awful people but are madly in love with each other.

When it comes to Severus, the most popular ships are usually with Hermione or Harry, and honestly, I find those really problematic because: 1) They’re his students (and I don’t like teacher/student dynamics at all; the power imbalance makes me so uncomfortable), and 2) He literally saw them grow up. He met them when they were 11, literal children. I don’t mind age gaps if both characters meet as adults (and by adults, I don’t mean 18—I mean 20+), but if one of them was a child when they first met, that’s a huge trigger for me. Then there’s Snily, which I only like in a platonic sense. I don’t think Severus and Lily would have ever worked as a couple. Like, ever.

And then there’s shipping him with any of the Marauders, which is a huge no for me because they literally sexually assaulted him. Honestly, the least problematic one is Snupin, but even then, I don’t like shipping Lupin with anyone (not even Tonks, lol) because I think he’s trash, and honestly, anyone deserves better than Lupin as a partner, lmao.

Nah, I don’t ship Severus with any canon characters. I much prefer OCs or Reader inserts.

[thefandomenchantress]

im suffering from doomed yaoi someone save me /hj

Chapter 2 Episode 13 spoilers!

Yeaaaaah Acevi seems to have...Uh...Changed a lot after last episode. I'll be honest, I still liked the ship before that episode premiered, but I had other ships I liked more, so I wasn't too sad at its definitive downfall, even in a platonic sense.

I mean, how could I be sad when it seems Ace's small showing of vulnerability has made more people like him haha (That's mostly a joke but I am happy to see more people growing to like his character a little more!).

I definitely wasn't expecting Levi's character to be that unempathetic, so much so as to say he couldn't care less whether Ace died or not. I've always read him as using Ace to feel like a good person, (since it never really seemed like Levi liked Ace in the first place, even in chapter one), but now that reading hits a little differently than I'd initially intended, what with all our new information.

That's not to say I don't like what Levi's character is turning out to be, though. I still like him. I might actually like him a little more now, since we've got more information and backstory, and more insight into why he does what he does. Definitely a cool character with more depth than I'd previously considered.

Providing Ace and Levi both keep on living after this trial, I can't wait to see how things will turn out. Now that Levi has shown Ace his honest feelings towards him (or I suppose his lack of feelings towards him), Ace certainly isn't going to want to hang around him anymore. Not without his imagined net of safety. As for Levi, I assume he's going to completely give up on gaining Ace's favor, but you never know.

But yeah, Acevi in the romantic sense is definitely in a different state than before. One-sided Acevi is interesting to me, though, especially if you go with the theory that Ace had feelings for his only other friend, Taylor, as well. Both of his friends ended up breaking his heart, whether that be by dying or revealing they don't feel the same way about him. Sad.

I guess the main point of this post was to say I'm not nearly as devastated as I thought I would be if this ever happened--Maybe it's because we got confirmation Ace did care about Levi at one point, so even if Levi doesn't care about him in the same way, it's still really interesting...Wow I sound like Veronika with all my "it's so interesting" talk--

I feel for the hard-core Acevi shippers who were hurt in the making of this episode though, haha. I suppose when Xanvid sailed (kinda), another ship had to sink.

[hatter-and-dodo-in-wonderland]

When I realized I couldn't be popular because I don't do THAT old men toxic yaoi ship that I hate (because I prefer healthy yaoi ships).

Personal confession below :

That's so sad my drawings aren't so noticed (except scarecrow but I'm mentioning about Hatter content especially) and when I see people creating new accounts and drawing the same character I'm themed with just get more fame is very frustrating for all the hours and work I give to my BTAS Jervis in "reality" or even the concept arts.

The only time I can get more famous things is about shitposts I make for 2 minutes and as it's funny, it's more noticeable

Like all my long work with a good look (I guess) are just good for some people who're always here (thank you so much, really I love you) but it's rare it catches new people.

But to be clear, it hurts me so hard my talents, in drawings or singing, are so underrated generally (art class never helped me and I still have colour theory difficulties, some anatomy I can learn about. There's also a time I was about to pass in the radio or in a singing competition but my fate decided otherwise. Also the musical comedy group I was in never let me take a character that interacts with others, like a background character that is just a plus and brings nothing to the plot). I learned art by myself and it's been like this since my 10 thanks to my mom's books and all. The only time I got some acknowledgement about my art was with a comic painting with a dragon that can't fly. Maybe that's the first time I got what I wanted, maybe only humour or bluntness is what I'm good for? I'm confusing

I'm soon 16, it sucks to say it I know, and I often feel like i would never have the chance to let people impressed enough

I feel like it's never never enough for anyone

I'm literally crying...

I will continue to be on Tumblr, maybe I should look impatient, paranoid or whatever some can call me. I just wanted to get it out. Maybe I'm just blind? Or also, Tumblr doesn't get as many users as the great media like Facebook or Instagram. That may explain why

-Back to the topic-

Anyway, the thing that really makes me frustrated is when some get fame because of a toxic ship, I should mention my blog won't get that kind of thing because I'm not the type that follows trends and when I love a character, I don't put them in a toxic relationship, I made things easier for them. When I say I LOVE a character, I mean I adore them despite their flaws, I'm AWARE of what Jervis did, don't worry I slapped him and told him about consent and boundaries!

Well, maybe that text is so long to be read but I needed to let it out, that's maybe a chaos of confusion because my brain is just a mess.

[lobotomy-lady]

i think wrt fujos ‘projecting’ it’s only insofar as, like u mentioned, women in fiction (esp the kind of fiction fujos usually go for, ie shounen and similar) are extremely undeveloped due to misogyny, and as such it’s impossible to project onto the female character because she has no depth and exists only to be desired. so in that way they’re projecting on men because only the male characters have depth and therefore have a suitable canvas to relate to and build/project upon. but that’s very diff from any attempt at escaping misogyny, it’s really just the normal kind of projection audiences are generally supposed to carry out (ie audiences generally want characters they can relate to) except bc of misogyny the only available characters are men

but i think everyone knows that. otherwise ultimately lots of women find guy on guy action hot and it’s really not that deep—sure one could argue that part of the appeal of voyeurism is that lack of vulnerability/danger… but also if a woman is attracted to men, well that’s 2 hot naked men on screen, of course she’s gonna enjoy it… granted there’s some degree of separation w fujos who only like animated/illustrated m/m and those who are actually watching gay porn (there’s much more of the former) but like… shrug.

the interesting part of traditional fujoshism (ie classic yaoi manga) to me is the existence and symbolic/theoretical implications of the Yaoi Hole (universal pleasure point, psych/philosophical anus theories) but nobody wants to intellectualize yaoi with me. probably for good reason but it is fun!!

Very good points wrt seeing male characters as the only ones worth relating to. I see a line between relating to a character & projecting on but it gets thin for sure. Now that I think about it, people project on one half of my otp ALL the time by making him a theythem when there is 0 evidence for it so I'm actually realizing that projection is far more common in fujos than I initially said. Also I snorted so hard at "psych/philosophical anus theories". I can't fathom what that means but you should write a dissertation, I'd read it.

I'm actually one of the rare fujos who doesn't really like anything anal it just kind of grosses me out to read about or see honestly. & yes this makes me an oppressed class

[littlestpersimmon]

My mlm / queer books and manga that resonated in my trans man heart book recs: (at the top of my mind)

[marionedde]

jacks insane alien rant stuff (invader zim edition) bc if I didn’t type it out and tell at least one person my head was going to explode

been trying to crack the code about how zim can be an adult (possibly a joke on vasquezs part) and a child (referred to as one in the description early on)

also foh with the ship defending shit. I don’t give a fuck about that I’m just autistic and this’ll keep me up at night

answer?

he’s an ALIEN.

he was a baby for two minutes. Irkens are fucked up

I’m still certain zim is physically a child (and prob mentally he acts like one) but age wise and by the speed at which their planet spins is technically sixteen in Irken years.

so he’s been alive for 160+ years but it’s possible considering how weird Irken growth his that he barely grew or even got older that entire time. another couple of giveaways is that he

a) sounds like a pre pubescent child and in the first episode we hear an Irken with a deeper voice who also appears to be taller. this figure, while partially hidden, looks similar to the tallest but obviously is not as high up as they are. The tallest have higher pitched voices than him but Yknow. Men can have high pitched voices. b) he (attempts) to flirt with tak, who at the time was only confirmed to be human and about 11 years old.

It’d be kind of weird if he was an adult.

c) zim acts sounds and Yknow, looks like a child through the entire series. Maybe you can just chalk this down to he’s short but from the pov of me who’s less than five feet and in high school, your face structure can be a dead giveaway about your age. Most people just don’t bother to look down long enough to see.

d) alright let’s talk biology. As we know humans start getting acne around 10-13 years old. now staring again, zim is an ALIEN and they definitely have different skin than humans do but the fact that zim can get acne and from the same source a human can might suggest a bit of a ballpark we can make.

e) “oh um zim is an invader though he’s probably an adult-“ do you see that planet? You think they wouldn’t use child soldiers for sweet, sweet conquest? Have you watched the show?

f) Jhonen Vasquez likes to fuck with the fans. I think we might be taking some statements a little too serious. Also leave the guy alone he made this beautiful show let’s stop harassing him so you can draw your weird yaoi stuff.

ok conclusion?

my main theory is that:

If you get taller you grow. Irkens could have a completely fucked up growth pattern that relies completely on growing. Who knows. Maybe some Irkens stay children forever (see child soldier note) and maybe some of them grow fast as fuck. this also supports the fact that the tallest went to class with zim but ended up in power. I assume at some point they grew taller, essentially got too old for school, were taken out and treated like royalty (thus explaining why they’re less serious than all the other Irken we’ve seen.)

of course I could be wrong. Whatever you headcanon is your opinion and it’d be unfair of me to push that on you. This is mostly for myself to get my thoughts out cuz I was going so insane I remember what tree bark tasted like (don’t ask.)

thank you for reading and remember to be respectful to other people s opinions. As long as they aren’t hurting someone they aren’t doing anything wrong.

[carriecarriecatgirl]

jimbat fic.......... bc yaoi..........

can be read under cut or on ao3

The Bat had disappeared shortly before the lights came on, promising he’d be back soon, so Jim had waited in an alleyway near-enough-by to be easily found by the Bat but far enough that it was unlikely their captors would find them. He lit a cigarette shortly before the Bat had dropped behind him with a not-quite-familiar sound. When Jim turned ‘round he was faced not with the Bat, but with a seemingly normal person. 

It's almost funny. This is both the most and the least Jim’s ever seen of the Bat. He looks so painfully normal. 

“It’s me.” The Bat rasped.

His clothes aren’t different, it's just that Jim’s getting a good look at them now. They are all baggy and loose on the Bat’s frame, probably an intentional choice. He’s wearing plain grey cargo pants and tennis shoes, with  layered long-sleeve and shorts-sleeve gray and black tees. He has a black baseball cap with some sports team Jim doesn’t recognize on it, black cotton gloves, and a surgical mask around his nose and chin, the light morphing the pale blue into a murky grey. Sweaty black hair peeks out from behind the back of the cap. With no cowl, he sees clearly the black power smudged around the Bat’s eyes.

With his hunched posture, he looks no different than a common street thug.

Jim feels the Bat’s heavy gaze on him, as stifling as always. He coughs through his dry throat and hopes that his blush isn’t visible. “Coulda fooled me,” Jim grunted. “Where to next, Bat?”

“Rooftop. Need to survey the area.”

They climb the fire escape of a nearby apartment complex, the Bat helping the older man up. It was a nice night, not raining but still cloudy. His gaze trails unwittingly to the batsignal reflecting off the underside of distant storm clouds. He still remembers the day they installed the thing.

He’s distracted by the Bat grunting and shifting uncomfortably as he takes his perch on the roof-edge. 

“You okay? Are you hurt?” Jim asks as he tentatively walks closer to the Bat, prepared to have to dress any injuries.

“No.” He grunts, “Just- Just feels wrong without the cape.”

“Oh.” Jim stops mid step, concern evaporated. He feels more relieved than he thinks he should.

The Bat takes a breath. “...Can I tell you something? Don’t laugh.”

Jim furrows his brow. It’s not common that the Bat is willing to share information about himself, let alone the type to be followed by “don’t laugh.”

“...Sure.” 

His voice is a shade or two higher than normal, and Jim can tell why by the grin in his voice. Can’t talk low and smile at the same time. “I’ve...started thinking of my cape as my wings. Feels wrong to go too long without them. Taken to wearing long coats to compensate.”

Jim snorts, and he half expects  to be called out on it. “You’re talkative today.”

The Bat freezes. “...The persona is slipping. Happens sometimes. I become the Bat in my off time and then can’t focus when I’m out on the streets.”

“You’re telling me that sometimes you get all dark and silent and broody at like...the dinner table?”

He snorts. “Pretty much, yeah.”

Jim’s chest feels warm at the admission, and slightly dizzy at the fact that the Bat, of all people, told him this. Trusted him with this. A jealous, vindictive voice in the back of his head hisses that the Bat only told him because he wasn’t really himself right now. Jim doesn’t listen to it.

He coughs. “When you smile, you sound kinda like Bruce Wayne, you know.”

He’s grinning. “I get that a lot.”

But then he turns his focus back to the city, figuring out the best routes and possible dangers and planning for things Jim can’t even think of. Even now, with this rare shard of humanity, it's hard not to hold some reverence and awe for the Bat. His heart flutters when he beckons Jim closer. 

From then it’s all business, deducting the who, when, where, and why. The Bat has a couple theories, but so does Jim. They talk a while, debating, but eventually decide that ultimately, it's too early to tell. The Bat turns to leave.

“...Will I ever see you again, Mr. Not-Batman?”

“Maybe,” The Bat laughs softly. Jim never wants to forget what it sounds like. He wants to see the grin splitting his lips. He wants to know what it would be like to have the Bat’s lips on his own. His body twitches with the urge to move forward, press himself against Gotham’s loyal protector, and kiss him with more force and passion than he thinks he’s ever kissed anyone.

But then the Bat is gone, melded not into the shadows for once, but the thin midnight crowd. Jim’s heart aches in his absence.

[kuschelkissen]

Watched Ep1 of Yingdu Arc and survived!!

Thoughts under cut because spoilers!! Duh.

ok. Uh. Where do I even start.

The basketball scene, man, that looked so good. OH that looked SO DAMN GOOD???

And then BAMM whiplash, Vein's in the fucking photo studio, throwing Cheng Xiaoshi around as if he wasn't a full grown man of 1,80m 💀 I kinda expected to see CXS die soon, but wow. That was... uff, wow, thanks for the tears I guess

I will sound terrible, but... I kinda wish that scene had been longer? Dunno, feels like we barely saw LG grieving over this.

Watch this statement come back to bite my ass, when we get the full extended scene in the last episode lol

Because I feel like it has to come back? Like. What the fuck happened? Why is Vein here? Like. HERE here, in the photo studio. Why is Xiao Li dead? And Qiao Ling??

This makes the intro including her in all of these scenes so much worse! 😭 And no wonder LG dove back... EVERYONE IS DEAD. Who wouldn't have done the same...

And oh god, that whole power-transfer scene. Not only was it a fucking beautiful metaphor with the basketball, it also looked so pretty how the gold faded from CXS's eyes 😭 And I guess he transferred it voluntarily? Gave it to Lu Guang so he could save everyone (no pressure, tho). God, I'm sobbing again as I type this...

I really wonder what happened in that almost hour long time period between CXS dying and LG diving. Since LG was hurt when he got the photo, and I don't assume that Vein just... you know, LEFT, I guess there was a fight? Do you think LG went feral again? Or did Vein think he'd die from his wound(s?) and just left him to bleed out?

(Also I guess an interesting thought, that all of that doesn't matter anymore once he's diving 🤔)

Anyway.

THESE FUCKERS FAKED BLACK HAIR LU GUANG FOR THE PREVIEW?! WTF?

Like. Okay?? I knew there would be all sorts of misdirects, but??? Just plain out faked it, huh?!

I'm not mad tbh. While I like the white hair theory (what if Black/White Doomed Yaoi™ can only be fixed by making both of them black haired??), I stopped liking it when they made it seem like the power transfer gives you 1 white hair at a time. That would've been too much for me to handle T___T And LG looks great with white hair, so. Yeah.

I did NOT need the next whiplash after crying over CXS's death, but I guess they met by one of his classmates (?) literally throwing a fucking BASKETBALL into LG's face??? And apparently there was a need to show that THREE times. OKAY, SURE, see me laughing through my tears??

(ok, other than that, that scene was so cute. And sad. LG almost crying again, the sound of his voice, grabbing his arm, as if he had to feel that he was actually there, ALIVE...)

Cried through the whole opening again, obviously.

And then the moment I have been waiting for.

Cosplayer. Lu Guang. And not just ANY cosplayer, no no. He's apparently famous in the scene?? What??

("Taking photos of beautiful women~" (Lu Guang almost dying from choking on his coke) I can't)

AND HE'S A WEEB, he's cosplaying and reading manga AND I DIDN'T THINK I COULD LOVE HIM MORE BUT APPARENTLY I CAN???

"I thought you were more the Shakespear type" ALL OF US, CXS, ALL OF US!

Seriously, I love this so much??

Trying to sort my thoughts, but it's kinda hard. It was a bit of a ride??

And the Club girl wanted to put CXS in a couple cosplay for LG, I can't! CXS, you COWARD, you looked great in that! (I wanna draw that, but I'm already like 20h late so there's probably several drawings of that already...) (LG taking a picture of it and then mocking him with it!! I swear, that whole scene was heartwarming?? He felt so... so...??? IDK?? Different. Somehow more playful? I love it T___T)

(Him being swarmed by people who want to take a photo of him, UGH, perfection. And QL clocking her brother immediately, "are you jealous" lmao)

I love the Chibis every now and then. And the funny faces, kinda missed that after S1. CXS and QL are such siblings, they way they ganged up on Zhou Xun... or pleaded with LG... UGH I love them. Love them so fucking much!!

CXS carrying patches with him at all times is such a cute detail, idk??

Handholding 😌💕 and an actual hug. Well. A short one, before LG chickened out.

"Are now partners for life", lmao, extra funny because that's what homosexual marriage is called in German.

I missed that, but my gf pointed out that LG's eyes were golden at first, and when he joined CXS and QL later, with the voice over about "maybe after 12h you're stuck forever", he had his normal grey eyes. And since they zoomed in on the eye to show us that, I guess she's right that the 12h are over at that point and he's now stuck. After all, he clapped at the con and was still there.

Also, CXS was WAY too relaxed about him having powers? "Wait, so you DO have powers?? Wow." Uh, not how I would've reacted lol xD but then again, he said, he felt that he had a secret and that he "knew 2 people with eyes like yours", so... uh... what does that mean, CXS? (Except that your parents probably had powers, too)

The way LG looks at him. UGH. UUUUUGH my heart can't take it.

That scene on the couch where he hugs himself... after that soft smile. yeah, why not, break my heart again, sure sure...

LU GUANG. CANONICALLY. WEARS CHENG XIAOSHI'S CLOTHES!! The fucking cat hat wasn't a present to LG, it is CXS's!! (well, maybe he gifted it him anyway, but whatever xD he originally bought it for himself! Now I wanna draw him in that outfit lol??)

There were several moments in this that gave me Live Action feels. I don't remember all of them right now, but CXS calling LG handsome/beautiful was one of them and the "we're not even together, and she's breaking up with me?? T__T" cries come to mind. idk xD Makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

UUUUGH so yeah.

I really wonder if this is the current timeline or not. Or if we will see the deathscene one more time in the last episode?? Though "I'll use my last chance and go back to the beginning" kinda feels like that was the current one?? Or we will find out another reason why it might be the last chance...

Uh. Final thoughts?

It was A LOT less bad than I feared it was?? The blow from Cheng Xiaoshi's death scene was softened with all the cute and funny stuff later, so right now I actually regret not watching it before work lol

Animation quality was nice, but it's very obvious that the most of that episode's budget went into the first 10 minutes xD Not a complaint, just stating the obvious.

I like the new style, though I still think I slightly prefer Studio Lan's style? Can't even put into words exactly what it is.

Also I miss thick eyebrow Lu Guang =T Thankfully, at least the ending delivers on that front.

Lastly, I'm really not sure why they made this into one hour-long episode? It was pretty clearly meant to be two, with a very clear cut pretty much exactly in the middle, and two stories that are completed in themselves. I feel like that would've made more sense for the finale, when everything's going down? Idk.

(who knows, maybe we will still get that, so we get the full 8 episodes after all?)

[stuffedsand]

T3 cover thoughts,,, and psuedo guesses

Haruka : considering both of his songs were from the android girl album I feel like he's gonna get a third. Of which the only other song I know the lyrics to is relationship scramble.

I think it could work ("right now I want instant love", could be the whole any attention is good, negative inclusive, so long as it's attention) (bro idk)

Yuno : honestly not a clue haha, tho I think Rabbit Hole would work (+it's a popular prediction for her, I haven't listened to it but it could be a good choice?)

Fuuta : .....he got Salamander this trial I don't know what they're gonna give him anymore....I don't even know what the deal is with mosaik role,,,,,

Maybe Chimera? I've only listened to it once but it has the Vibes tm. I think it fits? I'm not very good at lyrical analysis but it'd be fun idk

(or volt tackle haha)

Muu : Theory of Negativity because idk it vibes. Similar to otome dissection kinda idk

Alternatively, Cinderella just cuz it....vibes like her I don't have a better explanation sorry

Shidou : I reeeally want to say cosmic rendezvous,,,, but it doesnt fit with his other covers. I hope dearly for cosmic rendezvous but let be realistic haha

My prediction. Ghost Rule or 118. Ghost Rule would be fun !!!! 118 would be, to me, if someone died in t3, cuz the lyrics can be twisted abit. It'd be so fun. Also "no law to pardon my crime" and "ethics are a delusion, but I'm still guilty when the morning comes" vibe the same. Also his va can do it I believe in him

The cover would also SLAP cuz from what I can tell shidous covers have a more...frantic? Energy to them and that works for a lot of the GHOST album songs. Anyways Ghost Rule milgram cover?? Please??

Mahiru : I had more but I forgot so here's the ones I remembered

U (unlikely, it's a English song... But hey it'd be fun) / Poison Apple (I'd say poison apple works for kazui but... There are funnier picks for him so)

I think her voice fits for these songs idk they just...vibe. really well. I believe in her va

Most fitting from what Ive seen is Zombies or Psuedo-Hope Syndrome which would work vocally and thematically I think! Idk tho haha mahirus is really vibe based

Kazui : ok wishful thinking : Ghost Rule. Fits with the liar theme. But I already gave it to shidou and it doesn't fit his other two covers (sad melancholy) so he gets the song I initially chose for shidou! Cosmic Rendezvous. A win for old man yaoi truthers (JOKE)

No seriously. The lyrics could be read as non romantic, and it continues his cover theme of Regret. It'd be fun, thematically relevant, fir the other covers, AND it'd hurt me. Perfect. If he does get cosmic rendezvous I will cry

Alternatively; we the hostages (?) Idk this pick was also solely vibes. I really want cosmic rendezvous though but that's cuz I want someone to say fuck

Amane : Angel Hair. I don't have a particular reason? Also this would be more in line with Positive Parade which was the trial one song.... And she got animal which I never would've expected so? Who knows. This is a fun list for vibes. Oh I think then all her songs would be Mannequin songs too

Mikoto : uhhhh (Not) a Devil. Cuz I'm not creative and it'd be funny. Uhh otherwise I'm not too sure.

Honourable mention that I think both Mikoto and Kotoko could get Addiction? By vibes alone lol cuz I can't read the captions...

Kotoko : imma be real I forgot. To kin assign her a song. But after having a short look at Anti - Beat I think she could get Dilemma? I think it works for kotoko. Idk

Tell me what songs you guys predict for any given character next trial I like seeing people's readings on what fits the character or the covers!!! Particularly kotoko, yuno and mikoto as much as I like their characters I don't have much of a read on them...

Also tell me what your favourite covers are!!!! I personally like both of shidous, kazui's, mahirus and fuuta's, and I really liked the monopoisoner one! (Haven't listened to reversible campaign enough to form opinion), as well as Harukas two breaths walking cover (haven't listened enough to the android girl one whoops)

[susandsnell]

the armand is alice theory is so infuriating for many reasons, but yeah the misogyny + biphobia at work to erase daniel's past romantic relationships... it never made sense to me especially bc one of the ways through which an older daniel comes to sympathise w/ louis is through his own failed relationships to his wives and daughters

welcome, companion in haterism!!!! I try to make it a point to avoid IWTV discourse for the most part but I cannot and will not countenance this fuckass theory, I do not respect it, and I will not shut up about it until the show proves me right and we see it dead in the ground. It is so stupid. It is so fucking stupid.

I fully agree - whether you read Daniel as bi or gay (and there's sufficient argument for both, though I def have my own theories - and the latter doesn't imo at all lessen the importance of his relationships to his wives), how circa 2008 misogynistic yaoi no-girls-allowed livejournal do you have to be to try to erase women from existence that we haven't even seen yet. This show is already a sausagefest with so few women to spare.

Likewise, as you point out, it would also be godawful writing that completely undercuts what they've done so far with Old Maniel, which imo is one of the highlights of the show. Through his life experiences of two failed marriages + two daughters who are no-contact (parallel to Louis with Lestat, Armand, Claudia and Madeleine), he's much better equipped to empathize with and reach a better conclusion with Louis in 2022 than in 1973, offering insights that help them both grow as people. As well, it would completely cheapen and frankly ruin one of the most important emotional beats of the entire show up until this point -- Louis' rescue of Daniel. This was what allowed him to have One Mortal Life, Fully Lived Out, given shape and meaning by the good and the bad, the triumphs and the failures, the heights of his career success and the nadirs of his personal life. It's incredibly important to both characters - this is literally 70% of Daniel's entire existence we're talking about here, and where Louis is concerned, Louis, the walking moral crisis, in the depths of despair and suicidal depression, was able to see that the vampire could do a good deed and have a positive impact. What he tried and failed to do with Claudia time and again, he succeeded with here, and there was an even broader impact when you consider all the people Daniel was able to live on to help, and all the lives he touched. What would any of that even mean if it's Oops! All Armand?

And finally, it cheapens Devil's Minion itself. It dumbs down the promised future we have of their dynamic to "There's Literally No One Important In Daniel's Life Except Armand And Never Has Been", and Daniel can apparently only ever have one relationship, and no others to have learned from, compared it to, or used as a frame of reference (whereas Armand has had several, too). I hate soul-mate stories as a narrative crutch, and I aggressively do not care to learn that Daniel's demonstrated emotional intelligence, growth, happy memories and deep failings as a husband and father were, to borrow his parlance, "based on a seismic lie". On the other side of things, it would completely wreck the narrative buildup that Armand alone is enough for Daniel after every other relationship for him has been performance and manipulation; Daniel seeing him for who and what he is when nobody else ever has is so crucial to their show dynamic as it exists currently. It would be cheap, soapy, and frankly, reminiscent of TJLC.

Past Devil's Minion could have very well happened and I'm not entirely against the possibility, but for the love of God, can we not do it at the expense of women and oh, I don't know, Daniel's entire character as he exists on the show?

[doodledstars]

This is ALL my opinions, so views are subjective! Also note there will be mature themes since this IS an adult/yaoi game and I'll be typing a LOT, so please read at your discretion!

Wanted to do something fun before I do work! I received some questions especially for who's my faves for this game, so now that I played the game more, I can actually form my own opinions! Since this is going to be a long LONG text, they'll be under the "keep reading" tab!

Also Topper and Father are at the top tier cuz they're just cute small animals. Can't argue with that. :)

LOVE <3

1.) EDMOND

Not gonna lie, when I first saw him I HATED him. I REALLY don't like tsunderes (looking at you Takumi from FE: Fates) and it didn't help that Eiden immediately fell for at first sight. Like I was internally screaming at Eiden NOT to fall for the tsundere knight. :T

But to my biggest shock, he was WAY more than that. He's respected by all his people (with some stuck-up noble detractors), the knights adore him, and he's always looking out for the best for others. His duty, work, and especially others and Eiden come first before he does. His tsundere personality only comes out when Eiden teases/flirts with him, but otherwise, he's very sweet and cares for others, especially Eiden.

And I absolutely ship him with Eiden the most. Out of all the relationships, they feel the most "mutual" if that makes sense? One reason I'm iffy about adult and especially yaoi games/themes was there was a HUGE power imbalance. In this case tho, Eiden was already head over heels and loves everything Edmond does. Edmond on the other hand, attempts to open up more and Eiden falls in love more and more. They both respect each other and are on equal footing. They're the same, but opposite, and that's something I was not expecting from a BL/Yaoi game. :)

My favorite one is Tranquil Cloud. THAT was incredibly, oversaturating SUPER amazing. It really showed the development Edmond went through and how he wanted to be BETTER not for himself, but for Eiden and others. And when Eiden found that book, oh my lord, he ABSOLUTELY loved him. OH AND THE PRISON RIOT, when Edmond was worried about Eiden being a different person, how they made up when EDMOND was the one who initiated the roleplay LOL. It was SUPER SWEET!!!! ;V;

Overall, Edmond is my #1 spot. Never thought I'd be so obsessed with a tsundere.

2.) KUYA

Wow another tsundere on the top list lol. Same deal with Edmond, I wasn't feeling that great about him. I generally hate the tricky, fox-like characters.

But then I saw some of his coversations and... wow. I actually REALLY like him. What I love is despite him doing tricks and jests on others, he absolutely HATES talking about himself and letting his personal feelings get in the way. It's not even including how he feels about Eiden, but rather how vulnerable he hates being. In a way... he's uncaring but selfless, too. The fourth rooms in Kitsune Dream and Aromatic Exotica Kuya really showed more of his depression and how numb he was to everything.

This is my theory, but I think Kuya WAS abused by Huey considering how long they've been together. Everyone mentioned how Huey wasn't a good person despite his amazing power. And Huey doesn't like Kuya's yokai side, which is why Kuya doesn't think highly of his ears and tail. Even tho Kuya doesn't regard Eiden the same way, he also doesn't miss Huey if that makes sense?? I feel part of his depression was cuz he WASN'T used to being abused by Huey and considering how old he is, it took him such a long time to finally work and accept it.

I absolutely ship him with Quincy tho, mainly because they're also on mutual grounds if that makes sense??? The only thing that's holding me back from him and Eiden being together is how there's a HUGE power imbalance and honestly, he DOES go too far in some cases. Even in some events, he gets away from... a LOT, and that's really difficult considering how powerful he is honestly. But with Quincy, there's a silent respect for each other and they don't dare to mess each other up too far (like SUPER far if that makes sense). That and c'mon, they've HAD had to be together at some point. They're my favorite divorced grandpa ship ahaha.

---

Really Like!

3.) EIDEN

I never thought I would love Eiden honestly. I LOVE how he's not a self-insert character when he got isekai'd to NU: Carnival's world.

I love how he's not just a stupid character, but rather someone who is ACTUALLY mature (when he's not being a dum horny dude of course :b) and looks out for others. He DOES help everyone be better about themselves and wants the best for everyone. He's goofy, but when he's needed, he's needed. :)

I ship him the most with Edmond mainly cuz they're on mutual grounds and they're the same, but opposite. I can see how others are also just as romantic, but to me, I'm entirely an Eiden x Edmond shipper aha.

Eiden DOES take things too far sometimes or even during the worst times. I mainly wanted to play the game for the fluff conversations, but c'mon Eiden... now ain't the time OTL.

4.) QUINCY

Quincy's amazing.

I really REALLY like Quincy. He's just a genuinely nice hermit haha. I haven't seen his conversations with Eiden as much, but I appreciate how he's such a caring dude and their relationship must be super sweet. Also him and Topper are super cute and I love how dry his humor is ahaha.

If you don't include Eiden, Quincy's #3! I personally prefer Edmond and Kuya higher, but if we talk about shipping... Kuya and Quincy WOULD be #2 together hehe. I just REALLY like shipping them together!!

---

Like

5.) BLADE

He's just a silly li'l android! But what I like about him is he's just genuinely curious and silly! One reason he's pretty up there is cuz he has no malicious intent and wants to learn more about being "human." He really cares a lot for everyone and c'mon... his attack mode is REALLY cool. XD

Also I think his Crystal Awakening outfit is the BEST design in the game, no question! Absolutely loved his development and growth in that event.

6.) REI

I wasn't expecting myself to like Rei a lot! He honestly surprised me and I love the type who focuses solely on their research to the point of sacrificing. It leads to a lot of well good writing and character development, and Rei did not disappoint!

Maybe cuz I haven't seen all of his events, but personally he and Eiden gives "friends with benefits" vibes. I THINK he's slowly coming around for the romance with Eiden. But overall, I do like Rei as a character and how he can actually stand up against to Kuya in talking ahaha. Poor Quincy.

7.) OLIVINE

Tbh he's ONLY there just so I can tease a good friend of mine. :b

All jokes aside, I was expecting the depraved priest trope from Olivine, but thankfully it was well done! It really went super deep into his backstory and what he's going for now. The recent event gave me more points for him and Kuya haha. I loved how he even asked Kuya to join him for a prayer session with the kids... AND KUYA ACCEPTED IT HAHA.

...Though if I must be frank, he is kinda freaky in the bed OTL. I do appreciate Eiden's help and encouraging Olivine. I know I'm playing a yaoi game and I SHOULD have an open mind, but yeah wasn't really used to it ahaha. Props to those who enjoy it tho, please do so!!!

8.) ASTER (ONLY if he's in his other form)

If we're solely doing this on appearances, Aster would be much lower due to how young he looks. I'm sorry, but I don't really like having young characters ESPECIALLY in adult games, it doesn't give me a very good vibe. It doesn't help considering Aster's true age yet he still looks like 16-18 (according to official sources). BUT his other form is MUCH better and I HIGHLY prefer that.

Aster is really cool! He's such a greedy vampire ahaha. His story with Morvay was really sad too, he was waiting for such a long time for Huey to come back. You realized despite the good things Huey did, he was a cold person in real life.

---Gap here cuz I'm TRYING to like these characters---

Trying to Like

9.) YAKUMO

I'll blame this on the lack of exposure I have to him, but yeah... I just couldn't vibe with Yakumo. I don't really like crying characters and it didn't really help he felt... obsessive with Eiden if that makes sense?? I guess "worshipping" is the better word.

Honestly, I prefer his interactions with OTHER clan members. I felt the detective event really showed that. It just felt any time he was with Eiden, he just has to talk about him and Eiden isn't AS interested vice versa if that makes sense? But Eiden won't ignore him either, it just felt super one-sided. Hopefully I can change my mind, cuz I really do like his design and I don't outright dislike him.

10.) DANTE

Okay so remember how I mentioned I hated tsunderes lol. Despite putting two of them on the top list... Dante is the embodiment of an ACTUAL tsundere.

The problem I have with Dante is that he's a tsundere to EVERYONE. I can give it a pass if he was acting like that to Eiden only, but he does that to everyone, his own people, the other clan members, etc. And it sucks too cuz I ACTUALLY like his banter and conversations with Eiden, but overall as a character, I wished he would loosen up.

I can understand that he's the ruler of his kingdom, but it also didn't help I was given a negative impression of him. Also on Eiden's side, he was trying to tell him how to rule a kingdom and honestly both sides did NOT give me good vibes. :/

I know he doesn't have a lot of alts, but hopefully he'll get some more screen time to develop and all.

Ehhhhhh

11.) GARU

Garu unfortunately left a bad impression to me, but I'll blame it more on the writers for this. Him looking young and the split personality disorder not taken seriously was doing more harm than good to me sadly.

It's the same deal with Yakumo, I feel it's more one-sided on Garu's end. And man, Karu was actually a tsundere, too. I get they're going for the sweet/spicy side, but it just didn't work out well sadly. I just don't feel that comfy with how he looks honestly and how his disorder wasn't taken seriously.

12.) ASTER (Original form)

I already said why I like Aster, but for his original form, I don't like his appearance sadly. It's the same deal with Garu. I DO like Aster as a character, but just for the appearance, he's ranked down here.

13.) MORVAY

Uh yeah... he just likes balls. ^^;

Couldn't vibe with him honestly, so sorry!!! I do like his sad story tho, but otherwise I can't really get myself to like him sadly.

Thank you for reading this HUGE text. I'm super obsessed with this game and hoping to draw more in my free time! <3