#I only listened to the part about Esteban lol

[macaiv]

hi love have you heard this?https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p0j2r605

unfortunately i wasn't able to listen to the whole thing but thanks to the esteban ocon sub i got to listen to the super interesting part is around the 12:30 mark

also i'm taking jolyon palmer's statement with a huge grain of salt because in what world is carlos a 'compliant 2nd driver' lmao

Hi! from the Ocon subreddit? Hehe that was me who posted it 😅😆

Esteban totally had a slip of the tongue moment there lol and I stopped taking what palmer said seriously after what he said about sainz 😆

Edit: For those wondering:

In the F1: Chequered Flag podcast, Rosanna Tennant asked Esteban this question: "Some people might think that it's a relief for you leaving Alpine after the inner turmoil at the team? Do you see it that way?"

Esteban answered: "It came at a good moment that i'll be driving somewhere else for next year..." "I will announce when the time is right, in due course like I said in my statement. I said everything that I had to say there, there is nothing new."

The first part of his answer is quite interesting...

[astonmartinii]

a very nonsense christmas | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem singer!reader

face claim: sabrina carpenter

based on this request: Hi, how are you can you please write something with Charles x singer reader like a part 2 of "nonsense... or is it?" based on Santa doesn't know you like I do music video something very wholesome idk you can ignore this if you want, hope you have a good day/night 🤍 - @rana030

MASTERLIST | BUY ME A KO-FI? | PART ONE

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 1,441,934 others

yourusername: do you hear those slay bells ringing? i love christmas so much that i'm giving you guys six new songs for this holiday season !!

view all comments

user1: mama is going straight on the nice list for this one

user2: christmas is saved

charles_leclerc: so proud of you cherie

yourusername: says the muse

charles_leclerc: you're my angel on the top of the tree

yourusername: as long as you're under the tree ready to be unwrapped

pierregasly: STOP

alexalbon: we MUST protect the sanctity of christmas

yourusername: oh alex, do not listen to the ep...

alexalbon: too late just pressed play

alexalbon: YOU NEED THE CHARLES DICKENS ???

yourusername: amazing word play, am i right?

alexalbon: no.

charles_leclerc: he doesn't meant that babe. lily has a commitment, he's just lonely

user3: y/n was like "if you weren't aware, i am getting DICKED DOWN for christmas"

user4: as much as i'd peel all of my skin off to be in either of their positions, good for her

maxverstappen1: i think nonsense christmas has single handedly killed my investigative journalism career. i am not analysing charles' massive sack

yourusername: damn right you won't be

charles_leclerc: maybe you should analyse it, you could learn something from it

maxverstappen1: hOW DARE YOU

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, charles_leclerc and 1,887,341 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, taylorswift & killatrav

yourusername: thank you to all the lovely people who came to the fruitcake release party ! xx

view all comments

user7: CHARLES AND TRAVIS IN ONE PLACE ALERT

user8: so does this mean we can get a y/n and charles appearance on the new heights podcast?

charles_leclerc: do you think people could tell i was about to pass out while playing the piano?

yourusername: definitely not !

maxverstappen1: yes we could

charles_leclerc: WHAT I WAS JUST NERVOUS AND I DIDN'T WANT TO LET Y/N DOWN AND TAYLOR WAS THERE SO I DIDN'T WANT TO EMBARRASS MYSELF

maxverstappen1: okay i didn't need the pity party. you were good, unfortunately very good. i need to learn piano now. i have to beat you in everything

yourusername: maybe you should've forgone the santa suit... it was quite warm

charles_leclerc: but you wanna be mrs claus ? (i also have a big north pole lol)

alexalbon: ENOUGH

user9: wait so like, was the grid at the release party?

user10: based on most of their instagram stories, and y/n's stories i'm gonna say yes

taylorswift: i had so much fun !! i love fruitcake and tell charlie his piano was great

charles_leclerc: SUCK ON THAT @maxverstappen1

taylorswift: ?

charles_leclerc: we've got bad blood taylor's version featuring kendrick lamar?

taylorswift: i see

maxverstappen1: he's the reason we can't have nice things

user11: someone free taylor from lestappen

killatrav: okay. the girls throw the best parties. esteban and pierre i own your team now, you guys gotta get better at drinking

yourusername: careful travis they're french ...

killtrav: is your boyfriend not also french? he's like a puppy dog

yourusername: HE'S MONAGASQUE

charles_leclerc: i am NOT french

estebanocon: i only threw up because eggnog is not what you guys advertise it to be

pierregasly: i'm not gonna lie i don't remember even seeing you last night

user12: okay so get invited to one of these parties is definitely on the bucket list now

charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, yourusername and 1,922,033 others

tagged: yourusername, killatrav

charles_leclerc: charles and travis 🤝 just happy we got a chance

view all comments

user13: if he's not like them i don't want it

user14: if santa doesn't pull through with a man like them under my tree this year ... imma be mad

killatrav: travis and charles 🤝 having girlfriends that make us giggle and swing our feet

charles_leclerc: does the honeymoon phase ever finish?

killtrav: well it definitely hasn't for me

maxverstappen1: NOOOOOOOOOOOO

alexalbon: say it ain't so

yourusername: haters gonna hate 😎

alexalbon: he is so happy it is bordering on insufferable

charles_leclerc: alex :(

alexalbon: i am very happy for you charlie and lily is definitely very happy for you, but if you talk to me for the TWELVE HOUR flight to brazil again i will terminate this friendship

killtrav: i am so confused

user15: poor travis and taylor are just being exposed to the grid chaos

yourusername: you posting this like i'm not the luckiest girl in the world

charles_leclerc: i just love you so much and i'm so glad you shortlisted me for your music video

yourusername: yeah spolier alert there was no shortlist. i wanted you and i didn't want to get out right rejected...

charles_leclerc: as if i would reject any offer from you i think i would've torn down maranello if they said i wasn't allowed to be in it

scuderiaferrari: ?

user16: i'm so obsessed with how much charles has embraced the wag life

user17: can't believe i get to live a life where i can bop along to music about how good in bed charles leclerc is

user18: they better not break up cause i may be tifosi but i shall be streaming

yourusername added to their story

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, charles_leclerc and 1,833,922 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: santa doesn't know you like i do baby

view all comments

user21: all i want for christmas is even more y/n and charles content

user22: mum and dad have kept us fed over the winter break

user23: i'm not ready for them to be separated when the season starts again :(

charles_leclerc: not to be that person but we're so hot

yourusername: no, you should say it louder

charles_leclerc: WE'RE HOT

maxverstappen1: can you people knock it off or we're not coming to your christmas party

yourusername: ERM ??? 🫤

alexalbon: you people have single handedly made me the grinch

yourusername: but but but ??? you all begged for an invite :(

charles_leclerc: FAKE and that's why you're all getting coal from us

user24: my god i am so lonely

user25: if i don't wake up to a charles shape gift under my tree i will not make it to next christmas

danielricciardo: just to be sure, this party is not going to be filmed and turned into a music video?

yourusername: it's just an old-fashioned shin dig girly don't worry

yourusername: or by the tone of this, should i be worried?

danielricciardo: no!

charles_leclerc: do NOT ruin my home please

danielricciardo: no promises xoxoxo

user26: y/n might want to film the party but I NEED THE FOOTAGE

user27: @tedkravitz boy do i have a gig for you

danielricciardo

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 1,093,445 others

tagged: charles_leclerc & yourusername

danielricciardo: do NOT drink the eggnog at a y/n christmas party this is a public safety announcement

view all comments

user28: i would commit unspeakable crimes to be present here

yourusername: if you weren't a fake fan you would've listened to fruitcake and would know we spike the eggnog 🤷‍♀️

danielricciardo: i am a fan !!!!!!!!!

yourusername: you asked me and yuki how we escaped the north pole last night

yukitsunoda0511: don't think i've forgotten about that, say goodbye to a tow in quali old man

danielricciardo: IT WAS A COMPLIMENT ELVES ARE CUTE?

charles_leclerc: don't call my girlfriend cute that's my job 🤨

danielricciardo: do you people ever let me live? i am battling a hangover like no other please stop shouting at me

charles_leclerc: maybe someone of your old age should manage his drink better

danielricciardo: THAT'S IT I'M GOING

yourusername: thanks we did actually want the kitchen floor back

user29: daniel calling y/n and yuki elves kills me

yourusername: we're not elf height we're cutie patootie height 💅

yukitsunoda0511: amen

alexalbon: i will endure the torture because that was fucking insane

maxverstappen1: @yourusername you're in charge of all after parties now sorry

yourusername: let charlie win and you got a deal

maxverstappen1: i'd rather drink my gin and tonic in a ditch than let that happen

charles_leclerc: BOOO

alexalbon: cocktail recipe immediately @yourusername

yourusername: you've changed your tune ?

alexalbon: i had fun, sue me. plus i am actually happy for charlie but please no more singing about his dick

yourusername: i can't make any promises

charles_leclerc: and there's plenty of material to get the creative juices flowing

alexalbon: FUCK OFF

maxverstappen1: FUCK OFF

user30: the grid will never know peace, not even at christmas time

charles_leclerc

liked by taylorswift, yourusername and 1,893,446 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: nothing like the holidays with the love of your life

view all comments

user35: how down bad all men should be

yourusername: best holidays ever !!!! love you charlie xx

charles_leclerc: my christmas wish last year came true, and now you're stuck with me

yourusername: no one i would rather be stuck with

charles_leclerc: I LOVE YOU

yourusername: I LOVE YOU MORE

user36: good thing i got presents this year or the sheer sight of this couple would make me so jealous i would spontaneously combust

user37: real

landonorris: you will see to the crime of the stupid amount of mistletoe you had up at that damn party

charles_leclerc: have you seen y/n? (don't answer that) obviously i want any excuse to kiss her

landonorris: i DON'T CARE I HAD TO KISS DANIEL FIVE TIMES I WILL NEVER RECOVER

danielricciardo: i know you enjoyed baby

landonorris: @yourusername @charles_leclerc YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS

yourusername: idk it looked like you enjoyed it to me

landonorris: you WATCHED?

yourusername: i filmed it :) top blackmail material, don't crash into charlie OR ELSE

charles_leclerc: thanks babe

landonorris: @georgerussell63 get the gdpa to intervene nOW

georgerussell63: eh i'm quite entertained

user38: this really is the giving season huh

arthurleclerc: do i mean nothing to you?

charles_leclerc: you're nowhere near as cute as y/n 🤷‍♀️

yourusername: awwwww charlie

arthurleclerc: EXCUSE ME? WHAT HAPPENED TO CHRISTMAS SPIRIT?

user39: charles is really ride or die lol

note: have a very merry christmas! i hope you guys all have a great holiday season and enjoy this quick one! i've been super busy but wanted to give you all a lil christmas treat - much love xx

[kevin--of-desert-bluffs]

I'm going anon cuz this is personal, I loved the post you made about Charles because my abusive ex was exactly like that. When I heard Charles manipulate Kevin by saying he'd be "very disappointed" in him I was actually triggered. I hate that people draw and write them as a functional family they're just not, it's actually not a bad plot but people just act like it's OK. I'm gay and my ex fucked me up. Charles is bad and should be explored as bad. Thanks for speaking about it hope this is OK

Of course it's okay it's fine, no matter how old my posts I accept anon, asks, reblog adds, tags, whatever! I'm sorry that triggered you and I hope that by saying 'ex' it means you're far away from that guy. Unfortunately it's true. Charles and Kevin's abusive and semi-consensual* relationship with Donovan being used as a pawn** is actually a good opposite to Carlos, Cecil and Esteban's (I hope that his name, I admit I stopped listening before this kid came about) functional, loving and consensual family. If it's shown like that I don't mind. It's only the fact that so many draw Charles and Donovan in a positive light, seeing it as the same as their NV counterparts as if Charles behaviour was actually ok, which bothers me. To be honest I don't really like those episodes much anyway something seemed...off, about the way the characters were all treated and the lack of even the shows usual continuity and characterisation consistencies but that's an old and long discussion lol *Anyone curious can go tag search my talks about Charles under WTNV Charles (I think...I hope) but tldr is that a lot of his behaviour is emotionally manipulative. Kevin is vulnerable from his cult and religious programming and shows clear distress at the situation (not the dating Charles part which he was ready to give himself a chance with, the 'you will be the second father to this child mere weeks after learning to love again' part), only to relent because he's scared of being alone and thinks Charles is 'handsome'. ** Donovan being indoctrinated into the Smiling God stuff and being used as a factor as to why Kevin HAS to stay with Charles after Charles lied that he didn't exist for like weeks is just...yikes.

[measuringbliss]

Just as with Disco Elysium, here's my Life is Strange "how much I'd like to f*ck/date the guys" tier list. Please note I haven't played LiS2 lol I'll stay vague about True Colors but I *will* spoil LiS & LiS BtS.

Let's go in order, shall we?

Skip Matthews: Skip is THE guy I thirsted on, in Before the Storm. I was still high on that Will Graham thirst and this guy right here didn't nothing to quell my thirst. He has everything: the uniform, the hair, beard, posture, pathetic vibes... he even does nice music! And he's one of the few adults who's really chill with Chloe. Damn. I love him.

Charles Eriksen: Obviousy physically, he's my thing (what a surprise). Apparently his wife is dead and he became an alcoholic? Yeah it only adds to the whole thing. (You all know by now that I'm a lost cause lmao)

Diego Morales: Have you *seen* him?

Brody Holloway: Oh a bear journalist with glasses, what's not to like? Apparently he's even a nice guy!

Frank: Listen at this point if you're still surprised, there's nothing I can do for you. He's not relationship material but. He can get it.

Gabe Chen: COME. ON. What a stud. Everybody loves him and that's for a reason. He's charming as hell and absolutely hot. He's also a nerd, and we love nerds in this house.

Jacob Hackerman: That gay guy from LiS2 I know of because he's the gay guy you can't date. He's cute!

Mac: Is he a jealous pathetic fuck? Yes. That's my brand. Well I could do without the jealous part, but he's insecure. I can fix him. Or make him worse. He's an awful guy, but he's nothing compared to...

Mark Jefferson: Ooh boy. Yeah he's an evil guy, yeah he's probably terrible in bed and wouldn't shut up about art nouveau and whatnot, but I'm weak. I'm just a sl*t, folks.

Pike: It's the dad energy. He's Hopper but thinner (*sad*) but he still has that dad energy. I'm weak.

Ryan: THE MOMENT MY EYES FELL UPON HIM, I KNEW I HAD TO DATE HIM. Damn. Just. Damn. His role in the storyline is *chef's kiss*. He's also much more present that Steph imo, like Steph is "around you" and Ryan is "next to you" if you know what I mean? I dunno. Damn he's great. (ALSO THAT SCENE IN CHAPTER 2 IS BEAUTIFUL, COME ON)

Chloe's dad: He's a nice dad.

Justin Williams: He's just chilling, he's nice, that's a goal right there. 100% would date. He's so chill. Very lovable character. I can't do my loving of the character enough justice. He's chilling when everyone else is either hyper or an ass.

Esteban Diaz: Oh another dad! He seems nice. Hope nothing bad happens to him.

Joey Peterson: He's beautiful but he's also one of the few characters that really look dateable. He's husband material, not just f*ck buddy material. I've got a ring for you, sir.

Nathan Price: Listen we all know Nathan is awful and IRL I'd absolutely steer away from that kind of person, but it's a videogame and I can!!!! Fix him!!!!

The bouncer from BtS: Not only can he protect you with his muscles, but he's genuinely a fun guy from what little screentime he has. It helps that Chloe's backtalk mechanic is so silly it makes him immediately endearing.

Warren: Haters gonna hate but I actually decided to date him with Max in LiS1. Okay here's the thing: I feel like dating Chloe comes with a lot of baggage. She can be annoying as fuck at some points in the game, and I understand it, I really do, I see where she's coming from and I absolutely cried in the DLC of BtS, but she's still A LOT to deal with. Meanwhile Warren is just generally supportive of Max, even though she's kind of an ass to him lmao. The narrative pushes Chloe/Max as far more canon than Warren/Max, and the Warren/Max romance feels like their kiss in EP5 is just something Max does to make him happy in this apocalypse, even though she doesn't really love him. It's clear she doesn't have the same relationship with him as with Chloe. But in the end, I've fallen for the nerdy nice guy (and not "nice guy" like someone else in this list...)

The rest of them: Eww. Though I have to say I quite appreciate the theatre teacher. The play part in BtS felt awfully close to home, in both the best ways and the worst ways. I've rarely felt so conflicted on a piece of media hahahaha

[everrealmdweller]

“Movin’ On Up” Episode Review

So I’m still laughing my face off. How did this episode manage to be so funny yet also deal with very serious issues and big life changes for the main characters? I don’t know. All I know is I’m left with a mixture of bittersweet feelings that can only be cured by watching Esteban throw a potted plant out the window.

Add this scene to one of my very favorites! The episode opens with Elena using her scepter’s vanish power to mess with Mateo, and she is having WAY too much fun with it lol. Poor Mateo can’t figure out what’s going on; his child-like innocence is so endearing. But my favorite part has got to be when Esteban come over and tells Elena she’s being very immature then proceeds to encourage her antics even further. This scene overall is just way to freaking funny, and I love the goofy, trouble-maker cousin dynamic going on. 

After revealing herself as the culprit to a very confused Mateo, Elena comments that he’s working in the palace late at night, again. Apparently this is becoming a regular thing. So she shows him the royal wizard quarters in the palace and asks him if he wants to stay there.

Mateo’s reaction is freaking adorable. He can’t even contain his excitement, just like a little kid XD. He soon realizes, however, that that would mean leaving his mom, and she couldn’t handle that. Elena, always having the best and most sound advice, asks him if this is what he wants and assures him that his mom loves him and will understand his decision. 

So that night Mateo talks to his mom, and she seems to be excited for him to move into the wizard quarters. Mateo can’t believe how easy that was until...

Surprise! Rafa thinks she’s moving in too XD, though it’s not very funny for Mateo or any of the castle staff. 

I’m not sure if Rafa was always this overbearing at home with Mateo (chore chart, posture/grammar corrections, constant snacks) or if she’s overcompensating because he now lives in an environment she doesn’t control (though the second option seems likely to me). She begins to quickly drive everyone mad by changing everything around and treating poor Mateo like a five-year-old. Elena keeps telling Mateo (she really is good at giving advice) that he needs to be honest and tell his mom how he feels, but he just can’t seem to do it, or even get a word in edgewise around Rafa.

Olivia’s back!! Yay! Her training seems to be going really well, and she can even manage a tamborita now!

Anyways, eventually Rafa takes it a step too far, coming to bother Mateo in the workshop. She keeps giving Olivia and Mateo snacks, which is a no-no in the wizard workshop. Elena to the rescue as she drags Rafa off on a tour of the palace to give Mateo a break (That “I’ve got this”  wink though XD).

Mateo: ”My mom is driving me--” 

Rafa: “Nuts?”

Comedic timing at it’s finest XD. 

But, Rafa! I am very allergic to those! So please don’t shove them in my face like that XD.

By now Rafa has driven the whole castle completely insane, and Mateo finally does it. He goes to his mom and tells her he’s ready to live on his own. He was so brave; he was so kind and caring yet stood his ground. I’m so proud of him, but...

She says NO???!! I was honestly not expecting that. She straight up tells him she’s never going to let him live his own life. Mateo and I were both shocked.

Confession time: Rafa’s behavior in this episode really bothered me. Like a lot. What a scary concept, that you would never be allowed to grow up, to make your own decisions, and build a life for yourself. Some of the things Rafa said even low-key remind me of Mother Gothel. For example, telling Mateo the world was too dangerous for him, saying he couldn’t survive without her, even the title of the song “Never Get Away” is ominous. In a way, Mateo is being trapped and held back from the world and his future in the same way Rapunzel was.

To be fair, unlike Gothel, Rafa actually loves her son, but can’t she see her behavior is damaging to him?

Rafa inadvertently ends up releasing the Kupi-Kupi, a troublesome magical creature, by placing a picture frame SPECIFICALLY WHERE MATEO TOLD HER NOT TO. Ugh, this is so frustrating. In trying to fix it, Rafa only makes it worse by using Mateo’s tamborita. Poor Esteban, Armando, and Elena end up running backwards around the palace thanks to the Kupi-Kupi’s powers. Eventually, thanks to Mateo’s fabulous wizard tricks, the Kupi-Kupi is trapped back in the book it came from.

After seeing Mateo’s heroics and realizing that she was at fault for releasing the Kupi-Kupi, Rafa finally sees that she needs to let Mateo go. In a beautiful mother-son moment, Mateo thanks Rafa for being such a great loving mom and Rafa recognizes him as an incredible grown individual ready to face the world.

“Everything I am is because of you.”

“No, you did this all on your own.”

It’s an amazing moment of character growth for Rafa and shows the strength of the bond she and Mateo share, even though their relationship is changing. And I hope in time she realizes that just because she doesn’t live with Mateo anymore, doesn’t mean they aren’t connected and there for each other.

The episode ends with Mateo enjoying his new home and independence. He and Elena watch contently out the window as a new chapter of Mateo’s life begins.

I wanted to note that in some ways this episode reminds me of “Captain Turner Returns” and “Olaball,” which focused on Naomi’s and Gabe’s relationships with their parents respectively. In all of these Elena plays a role of pushing her friend to tell his/her parent(s) the truth about how he/she feels. Also, Mateo, Naomi, and Gabe all had trouble talking to their parent(s) because they kept talking over them and not really paying attention to what they wanted. All of these character’s parents are very different but have the same struggle with listening to what their child wants and respecting it.

Lastly, I wanted to mention that I LOVE the subplot of this episode with Esteban trying desperately to get rid of Rafa’s hideous houseplant. In the end she forgets it at the palace, and in the last shot we see him chuck it out the window. Oh, Esteban, I love your dramatic side so much. XD

[thesoftkitty42]

I’m posting original content???

Hey there friends. So, I never actually post anything on my blog, but I wrote this for my Creative Writing class and I thought that people might like it, so I’m gonna share it with y’alls. Basically we had to write a How-To article, so I wrote one about How to be Emo. It’s really long and really stupid but it’s still kind of entertaining. Here it is lol

How to Become a MySpace Ready Emo God/Goddess Overnight in 5 Easy Steps: Welcoming yourself to the Black Parade

By Grace Burns  Feb. 7, 2018

You know that feeling when you log on to the oh-so-popular website, MySpace.com and you see a super cool, badass, edgy emo queen on your feed, and then you look at your sad, boring, “normal” profile and it just looks lame in comparison? And then you start to think of how cool you would look if you attempted to take sick pictures at that same awesome angle, but when you try you just look like dumbass? Well, I’m here to teach you exactly what steps you can take to become the saddest, baddest, raddest emo of your nightmares.

1 Wardrobe is Everything

Alright, first things first. You can’t have that MySpace fame unless you look the part. You need to start off this journey with a trip to every emo’s favorite place on Earth (other than Warped Tour) Hot Topic. Hot Topic is a safe haven for our kind, housing all the band merch and aesthetically pleasing accessories that you could only dream up in your head. As you walk into the shop, notice the music they’re blasting through the speakers? If you recognize the song, dance along to the music in the store. This is an easy way to make a friend if you both happen to be rocking out to the same artist. Your first stop should be the jeans section. They’re all black skinny jeans, so you better get used to having all your leg fat squeezed into your body. But, you do have the option of whether or not you want jeans with or without rips in them. This will all depend on the aesthetic you are trying to achieve. For someone who is just transitioning to the emo lifestyle, I would suggest starting slow and steady and picking out some plain black skinny jeans without any rips in them. After you grab your bottoms, it’s time to consider the tops. Hot Topic has a cornucopia of band shirts at their disposal, so you have a lot to choose from. Again, I’d suggest starting off easy by picking a shirt from a more popular emo band, preferably something from the holy emo trinity, My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, and Panic! At the Disco, and then as you continue your transition you can start branching off into other bands. The last essential part of your wardrobe is the accessories. Chokers, studded belts, and lots of piercings are all good choices. And you can always get fake piercings to try things out before you commit to piercing lots of holes in your body. The last part of your clothing look is shoes. There are a few different options here. You could go with Vans or Converse, but many debate over which shoe encompasses the emo look more effectively, so to be safe I would go with a classic pair of combat boots. You can never go wrong with combat boots.

2 Hair and Makeup

The next step in becoming the emo nightmare you’ve been dreaming up is the hair and makeup. This goes hand in hand with your clothing and helps complete the whole look. The first thing to change is your hair. If you have soft, wavy, shiny hair, that is the first to go. Your hair needs to look like it’s been beat to shit, much like you have been beaten by your emotions over the years. Do you have bangs? No? Get bangs, they help block out the haters. Is your hair black? If not, you should probably dye it. And of course you need to buy a hair straightener so you can destroy your hair even further. If you aren’t experiencing long-term hair damage, you aren’t doing it right. Now, onto the makeup. Firstly, foundation. You need to make your skin look as dead inside as you feel. Buy a foundation a shade or so lighter than you normally would, and apply to the face and set with a powder. While your pale complexion is essential, your most important tool is and always will be your eyeliner. Eyeliner is what blinds you from the world’s sorrows. It is what gets you into character. Eyeliner is the single most important part of your emo look. Here’s how to apply it:  

Grab a pencil or gel eyeliner from your local makeup store (you could even grab eyeliner from Hot Topic)

Apply along upper and lower lash line, making the lines fairly thick.

Smudge eyeliner to perfection

If you need extra tips or inspiration, look at pictures of pre-hiatus Pete Wentz, as he is the unofficial king of emo.

You could just leave your eye makeup as is, or you could take it one step further by adding eyeshadow. You could go for a dark black that matches your soul, or you could do a classic emo eyeshadow color, red. Emo God Frank Iero was famous for his red eyeshadow during My Chem’s “Revenge Era”. This era should be the inspiration for a great deal of your aesthetic. To apply the eyeshadow, all you need to do is take a fluffy eye brush, dip it in the shadow, and sweep/swirl the makeup all over your lid, almost touching the brow bone, and don’t forget to put some of the eyeshadow along your lower lash line as well. After your eye makeup is complete, add mascara to the lashes to finish it off. Lastly is deciding if you want to wear lipstick or not. Many emos choose not to wear lipstick and tend to leave the lips plain, but times are changing, and of you feel like adorning a color on your lips would complete your look, go for it! A big part of the emo mentality is expressing yourself and being who you are free of judgement. You could easily sport a sexy red or black lipstick, or if you dye your hair a fun teal color, you could pick up a matching lipstick from your local Hot Topic.

3 Music

The single most important part of becoming an emo is listening to the right music. The bands that you choose to listen to will be like a safety net. They will comfort you in times of need. The most important bands to listen to are, of course, the three bands that make up the holy emo trinity of music. Chances are you have probably heard the chart topping music created by My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, and Panic! At the Disco on the radio over the years. Fans of these bands, myself included, have claimed that these artists have saved their lives with their music and their words. You must listen to all of their music like it is your religion, and slowly it will become your religion. You must obsess over these bands and their members. Gerard Way is your inspiration and reason that you are not afraid to keep on living, Patrick Stump is the small adorable man with the kindest words that make you feel better on a bad day, Brendon Urie is a talented man with lots of advice on how to deal with your problems. But, the most important thing to remember as you slowly slip into the bandom culture is that every band member is just as important as the others. Fall Out Boy is much more than Pete and Patrick, Joe Trohman and Andy Hurley are just as amazing as their fellow members. The same goes for My Chem, while Gerard and Frank are fantastic people, don’t discredit the utter beauty of Mikey and Ray because they are just as worthy of your praise. When it comes to Panic! At the Disco, even though Brendon rapidly lost all of his members and can’t seem to make anyone stay in the band anymore, don’t forget about those who have fallen from Panic!. Ryan Ross is still an inspiration, and without him we would never have gotten the sheer beauty that is Pretty. Odd. which is debatably the best album Panic! has ever produced. You will listen to this music to the point that you know every last lyric, guitar riff, and drum beat. You will constantly thank God for Esteban and reference every single song on a daily basis. The majority of the things you say are emo references that no one else understands. You will be sad when you stumble upon a phenomenal emo meme on the internet and have no one to share it with. But that’s okay, because you can always cheer yourself up by watching old band interviews and by re-watching the same music videos that you’ve seen countless times before. You will count down the release of new albums, and you will cry when bands decide to call it quits. It will be a rollercoaster of emotions that will slowly consume your life.

4 Attitude

Your attitude is important. If you’re going to try and live that emo lifestyle you crave, you need to have the right attitude. Long gone are your days of cheerful comments and a sunny-disposition. The way you present yourself is a major part of living that dark, gloomy emo life. If you go about talking about pop music, or things that the general public find enjoyable, you will never be able to pull off being emo. You need to walk about as if you are dying inside, and present yourself as a self deprecating, pessimistic,  depressing person that brings the mood down in social situations. If you are the token emo in your friend group, you have to try and convert your friends into the lifestyle. Start by getting them into newer Panic! At the Disco and Fall Out Boy songs which are more pop punk than they are traditional emo, especially compared with their earlier works. Once you butter them up with the more modern and radio playable songs, slowly start introducing them to older songs and see if they like it. If they do, you’ve got em. It’s only a short time before they too are emo with you. Along with converting your friends, you just need to talk about emo things nonstop to the point where your friends either need to convert, or they are constantly annoyed by your antics. If you go a whole day without mentioning the new Fall Out Boy album, are you really a fan? If you don’t own merch from every era of My Chemical Romance, can you even call yourself emo? You need to make sure that you have the right mentality, or you will never be able to be a true emo. Another important thing is making sure you have the right tools to protect yourself from harm. Haters are everywhere, and you can fend them off by just blowing them off, or you could spit a bunch of facts about why the emo culture is very important to you and many others.

5 Actually Becoming Emo

Last but not least, an essential step is actually becoming emo. While you might start off doing this ironically, or just to try something new, you will become trapped in the culture. By researching the bands and listening them to fit in, you will actually begin to become obsessed with them and you will really believe that they are the most wonderful people that God has ever created. The emos will trap you, there is no escaping once you start. Eventually you might buy some clothes will color in them, or some jeans that are a little baggier, and you might lighten up on the eyeliner, but anytime you hear that ear-piercing g note that opens up the song Welcome to the Black Parade, you won’t be able to control yourself and you will probably start getting emotional remembering the good old days. You might open up your closet and see that Hot Topic sweater with the safety pins in the sleeves hidden away behind your favorite top, and all you’ll be able to do is laugh at your old style, but you’ll still secretly love it. And years down the road you’ll drop your kids off at school and turn on the classic rock station. You recognize the song that’s playing, but you can’t quite place what it is, and then you hear the lyrics “Am I more than you bargained for yet?” and you will be taken back to your emo days and you’ll drive home and pull out you old albums and put them on, remembering how this music and lifestyle made you feel. You will always be just a little emo on the inside.